#i'm sad and i just want to be happy
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// tw suicide : vent
#tw suicide#i'm tired of just being sad .#and i'm tired of wanting so badly to die#it's exhausting forcing myself not to think abt how much i want to die#i'm sad and i just want to be happy#as long as i keep myself busy i don't think abt it#but the second i come back to reality#it's all i can think abt#i don't want to burden my friends with this so i am sorry u must read me and my woes#but i needed to get this off my chest#bc no one in my life rn#knows how badly i'm struggling with these urges#i'm just plastering on a smile and (-: in everyone#SIIIIIGH#maybe telling ppl will make me feel better !!!!!#i doubt it tho#rowarnings
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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"Stillborn? No, no, still born." -- DPXDC AU
Based off a comment I saw where Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy in the earlier comivs, and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.
Instead of Damian, that baby was Danny! Meet Daniel Brown, the 14 year old foster kid whose been living with the Fenton family for the last two years. He's about two years older than Damian.
His last name, "Brown", was a generic surname given to him because the note he came with didn't have one on it. It just had the name "Danyal" on it, but albeit 'Daniel' was the one that had been put into the system for, I'll be totally frank here, racism reasons.
(I looked it up to make sure, and it's generally not permissible for foster parents to change the names of their foster kids even if it's a permanent residency, and for that reason Danny doesn't have the last name "Fenton".)
Danny's got ✨~issues!~✨ He's been through a handful of homes growing up, most of them terrible for a variety of reasons. Which has, as a result, left lasting scars. He's generally a very sweet kid, just very distrustful and jumpy. He's got the signs of a kid suffering from PTSD, and a handful of other issues including attachment and insomnia. His inferiority complex could rival Damian's, and that's going to make for an interesting mutual hatred for when they finally meet.
(something I'll get into later)
He still has the blanket he was found in. It's made of a very high quality material and is a beautiful emerald green with little golden thread accents, it's high quality as a result has Danny clinging onto a desperate hope that his bio family might be out there, and the only reason they gave him up was because of some outside factor. It's been taken a few times in old foster homes, and he's flipped out each time.
While he still calls Jack and Maddie by their names, he likes them well enough. The bar isn't that high though, and while they're some of the better foster parents he's had, "better" doesn't equal "safest". Their laboratory malpractice. Basically, C- Fenton Parents. They're negligent by virtue of being engrossed in their work, but they do care equally about Jazz and Danny. So he doesn't hold it against them that much.
He kinda prefers it that way, their loud affection is overwhelming and Danny doesn't know what to do with their attention, even if he craves it. It's a bit of a complicated situation.
They took in Danny because they genuinely wanted another child, but didn't want a big age gap between them and Jazz. It was actually Jack's idea to foster, and they discussed it with Jazz beforehand. She was all for the idea. Thus, a handful of weeks later, a ton of paperwork, and inspection later, and Daniel Brown entered their household with a trash bag in one hand and eyes like shards of stained glass.
His relationship with Jazz is kinda strained, but that's by virtue of her constant psychoanalyzing and helicoptering. Like with the parents, Danny's overwhelmed by the attention and also just, straight up doesn't like the fact that she's telling him that there's something wrong with him. He knows that, thank you. He pushes her away when she does this.
Other than that though? When Jazz isn't smothering him and is acting like an actual sibling and not a third parent, they're pretty close, and Danny really likes her. They've hung out a few times on their own volition, and Jazz showed him how to take better care of his long hair.
His school situation,, pretty similar to canon with the bullying, albeit with a few more instances of him blowing a fuse and lashing out against his attackers. He's a rather angry kid, but it's quiet. It builds up, piles on top of itself, until eventually, like a volcano, it erupts and burns everyone within radius.
Danny's got a fire core, not an ice core. Phantom's hair is made of white magma; thick and heavy, setting itself on fire when his anger runs hot. When he gets angry, his skin begins to char and split open to reveal pulsating lava underneath, and he crackles and pops like a raging forest fire.
I haven't decided yet on how he meets the batfam -- i've got two ideas but they're both in opposition to each other, and drastically alter how the rest of the plot goes. But I do know that him and Damian hate each other in the beginning. And it has nothing to do with inheritance or "being the blood son" -- although their blood relation absolutely plays the major role in their disdain for each other.
Simply put, they're jealous of each other for the same thing: thinking that the other was wanted.
Damian hates Danny because, unlike Damian, Bruce knew about Danny since conception and wanted him from the moment he heard about him. He had a whole nursery set up, and still does. He never took it down -- just locked the door. Damian was thrust upon Bruce without warning, and he feels like he forced himself into the family. And while on some level Damian knows and understands that Bruce wants him and loves him as much as his other children, that doubt and feeling of inferiority still remains. He looks at Danny and sees him with what Damian always feels he needs reaffirmed.
Meanwhile, Danny hates Damian because he looks at him and sees him with everything Danny's ever wanted. He hates him because Damian grew up knowing both of their parents, with one of them for most of his life, and then moved over to the other. There was never a moment where Damian was (seemingly) left to doubt his place within the family. Damian was raised with the very same woman who left Danny on a doorstep, with no clue to his identity beyond a little green blanket and a note with only a first name. Damian was wanted everywhere, and Danny was wanted nowhere. Damian is Danny's replacement in his eyes.
(It's the little revelation that Damian grew up with their mother that elevates Danny from being quietly envious of Damian to downright despising him. What did Damian do, that Danny didn't? He could live with Damian living with Bruce -- Bruce didn't know Danny was even alive. But him living with their mom? Are you fucking kidding him?)
Damian never outright attacks Danny physically, but it's not like he hides that he didn't like Danny. Meanwhile, Danny, in all his repressive anger, quietly despised him from a distance until finally one wrong snide side-comment has him blowing up and it becomes a screaming match. They're both just enough similar to each other that when they look at each other they really just see a mirror.
They'll work it out together, eventually. But it'll be ugly and cruel and explosive, and they'll start mending the bridge to become brothers in more than just blood relation in the end.
But yeah, stillborn Danny has... a lot going for him.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#additions. opinions and brainstorming are encouraged!! i'd love to hear what other people's thoughts on this are and brainstorm with them.#the brainstorming is the best part.#stillborn? no still born au#poc danny fenton#stillborn au#long haired danny fenton#danny isn't surprised by the fact that the fentons were greenlit for foster parenting considering some of the foster parents HE'S had#those two ideas differed in who found out about who first. Whether it be Bruce or Danny. bruce finding out about danny first results in#Bruce seeking him out first and being able to explain his side of the story first without misunderstandings. this is the Happy Version#Danny finding out about Bruce first results in him getting an official DNA test done and intentionally seeking him out to introduce himself#except when he finds out about damian's existence his shit self worth results in him jumping to the conclusion that his bio family never#wanted him in the first place. that they weren't looking for him and instead just up and replaced him. This is the Fucking SAD Version#and includes a conversation where Danny looks Batman dead in the eyes and tells him that he was 'daddy dearest's fucking reject'#danny completely unaware that batman = bruce wayne btw. for the extra angst. bruce has to stand there and take it. rip#this poor boy needs antidepressants. therapy. and rehab. probably. i've thought about him having an old addiction that he was recovering#from prior to the fentons. but its not confirmed yet. if i go through with it its either gonna be nicotine or like painkillers. i need to#wait and think about it when i'm not on the angst train. i have a tendency to go overboard when i am. its the endorphin high#Danny calls Damian his 'fucking replacement' and Damian tackles him.#starry makes another angsty au
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Afternoon Cuddles
#i got sad over them so now i'm coping by drawing fluff#i just want them to be happy gdi#or maybe alive and healthy while we're at it#sasuke uchiha#itachi uchiha#uchiha brothers#naruto#fanart#my art#naruto art
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drew arthur with a little friend. they're talking about life and death
#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#barghestland#arthur morgan#art#artists on tumblr#this week life was so fucking horrible i'm on the edge of having a little breakdown#and when im sad and stressed and done with life i just draw arthur#cuz his depressed ass would understand#u know.. yeah :(#i hope whoever reads it is having a better time#if u want u can tell me smth nice in tags or anywhere really<3#like tell me silly names of ur pets or facts about ur favorite bugs#i'd be happy to hear that
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#Elmyra approving of Zack makes me so happy 😭 FF7 Rebirth 20 / ?
#final fantasy vii#ffgraphics#elmyra gainsborough#zack fair#gamingedit#ff7 remake#ff7 rebirth#ff7#elmyra#ff7 rebirth spoilers#rebirth spoilers#creaciones#i always thought she'd come to love him if only they had the chance to meet#glad to see it's exactly what happened :')#if zerith reunited she'd be so happy for them 🥺#knowing aerith would have the best boyfriend ever by her side#someone who would always take care of her no matter what#someone who would do the impossible just to make her happy#and he's good with kids too. like 🥰#zack already calls aerith's home HIS home i'm gonna go crazy#sorry for the fangirling but akhssjd if part 3 doesn't have them reunite and live together i'm gonna riot#the three of them deserve happiness!!!#and also i want zack to contact his parents so bad :( they deserve to see their son again#i'm making myself sad. i'm gonna stop now lol
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i like the idea that lily is one of the smartest people in hogwarts but she's also just like
very clumsy. she drops things, she trips on air, and she's very unlucky too, gum sticks randomly on her hair (mary or marlene always cuts the tips of her hair every month or so because of that), and everytime something like that happens, she makes an odd sound as she snorts and laughs.
because yes, she's clumsy and unlucky, but she's surprisingly positive about it, she finds everything to be very funny, and mary and marlene are so used to it by now that they're always ready to hold her before she falls, take her out of the way of something that's being thrown, or just hold something she dropped before it breaks.
i like lily being a bit of a mess, let her be a bit of a failgirl as a treat, she's adorable, and she's a genius!!!!
(also, mary can't help but look so, so fond and in love with her whenever lily laughs when she trips on the hem of her robes, like she makes the entire day brighter just by smiling)
#yes this is a marylily brainrot#i love my girls so much#also just marlene#she's a gem#and lily gods lily is so so awesome#i want her to be a little more silly#she's always more on the serious type on the fics i read#let my girl be silly and happy#but if you want to be ssd about it#severus used to call her clumsy all the time#not necessarily in a bad way#but not in a good way either#so she decided to grab that sad memory and turning into a good think#by laughing even when things look bad#marauders#marauders era#the marauders#ao3 fanfic#lily evans#mary macdonald#marylily#marlene mckinnon#the valkyries#marauders valkyries#dead gay wizards#sorry if anything is written wrong btw#it's 3am as i write this#i'm so so sleepy
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One day you'll smile again.
#I just love drawing him happy. he's so sad. I want him to be happy.#Kim's pov#Don't ever tell me Kim won't fall for Harry#I'm experimenting with other papers and I probably shouldn't have used this side but anyways#my art#sketches#disco elysium#harry du bois#color pencil
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Happy (almost belated) Birthday, Tenko Shimura!
wanted to draw something light after... you know 419...
#fanart#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#league of villains#tenko shimura#hana shimura#happy birthday tomura#even if rn it seems it's the worst birthday of his#I'm still processing that chapter#and I wanted to draw something nice so this seemed like a good idea#wanted to add something sad to just memorise this day#but instead just got myself to listen to Omori ost while drawing#and I feel like I won't be able to draw Tomura even if I tried#it's too much rn#I'm way better than in the morning#but it's still tough#it's 10 minutes untill his birthday is over in my timezone#it's... *sigh*#I need a break#anyway#I hope he'll be okay#wherever he is right now#Also update since I forgot to mention I realized that's it's basically my first time successfully drawing Hana
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buddy daddies really gave us canonical queerplatonic partnership rep.....thank you so much I could cry ;a;
#buddy daddies#also not canon but rei is asexual and you can't change my mind#I'd even say aroace#anyway I just watched the finale and I'm!!! emotions!!!!!#what a beautiful surprise this anime turned out to be#please watch it if you can it's so worth it and so much more than it looks at first glance!#kinda sad there likely won't be a season 2 but this was a perfect ending#when I started the show I wanted them to become a couple but I changed my mind I'm so happy with this#bee talks
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finally played thru the infamous if demo and had an excuse to make a goth guy. with Facepaint and a coontail and everything. so here's Dane aka Lacuna of Dead Rat Society
#infamous#infamous if#interactive fiction#iris de luca#maya holland#mine#*24#lacuna#try to stay on model challenge failed.whatever. also i made him under 5'3 after drawing the outfits bc i wanted to climb on counters in the#bus. that's that REAL manlet representation we need. also its so funny when that drunk guy calls u a fag indirectly. what gave it away#also 7 and dane exes is so funny. dane's like i'm over it tho i'm sad that we're not even friends + im happy you got friends but also.#are you in love with avina.like i don't care but ARE you? you have to tell me even tho i'd never ask. lol. but are you? its FINE if you#are i just wanna know. are they in love with you?do you want them to be. its fine btw.#taking everything in me to not start making yt spotify insta + twitter edits of the infamous peeps.
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wanted to try my hand at a fake screenshot thing with a scene from one of the bttf fics of all time, Time Is a Flat Circle by @fourth-dimensional-thinker! i set in to draw only the "little canary" line but. as you can tell. my hand slipped and fell down a 6 story building
if you haven't read it already please check it out PLEASEEE it's very good. i read the whole thing in basically one sitting. the vibes are perfect for the spooky season too!
versions without the filter/subtitles under the cut:
#bttf#back to the future#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#doc brown#emmett brown#dear fic author i hope this is not too terribly off from what you pictured in your head#and that you like it :D#listen guys when i say my hand slipped it slipped BIG TIME. like this was not even supposed to be shaded that just happened#as well as the 6 other frames but i digress#i fought tooth and nail for these colors it was crazy out there. still not exactly the ones i pictured in my head unfortunately but it stil#looks baller so i'm pretty happy :D#the Ys on his hand in the fic is on his palms but since they were facing away from the “camera” i put them on the back of his hands also#bc i just really wanted to draw them hahaha#the hardest bit to draw out of all of these was surprisingly doc's nose LMAO. i guarantee you it is not even the right shape. oh well!#second hardest was moving marty's arm in the second frame ever so slightly. layer hell i tell you#this isn't even the only drawing idea i had for this fic i have like two more#but best to get to some other fic scene ideas before coming back to this one!#the fake screenshot thing is really fun i'm going to do it again#super time consuming. but really fun#kit does an art#kit read a fic and is making it your problem#tumblr took the quality and shot it out back i'm so sad
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Once your vessel has been shattered.... this is what remains?
I have been trying to draw this scene since the day I saw this episode. And ever time I tried, it never felt right, it never flowed, it never did what I wanted it to do. I think this is my 4th or 5th attempt.
I think I finally figured it out.
Timelapse below the cut.
#mp100#mob psycho 100#mogami arc#???%#shigeo kageyama#yes i know the style is so similar to my other drawing i just posted#there is something about this style i never have painted so quickly in my life. It just...somehow works for me.#it is bringing me joy#i'm gonna be drawing this style for awhile#part of me wants to sit on this#the other part is like fuck yeah#I am really#really happy with this#this is what happens when my husband isn't here i get sad and then I DRAW EMOTIONS#GREAT FOR ART#NOT FOR HEART#my art#hay i remembered the time lapse this time#redraw#screencap redraw
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Oh how I love this man. I adore every part of this man.
I won't lie, my 5-year ago self would be screaming if she saw me now on her knees crying 'why' and all I could be saying is "he silly"
#king candy#gotta love how I started this blog for KCB and just focused on Kc#meanwhile Turbo is over there on the corner like a wet sad cat#like SORRY HUN ILL GET TO YOU EVENTUALLY#maybe#hhhh I need to smooch him#god looking down at me fawning over fictional characters when he made real life ppl: 🤨#ok ok but jokes aside he just makes me so happy<3#he's awful but I love him like-#MAYBE if he had a different outlet#maybe if he just...... got laid. he would chill tf out#//yes I'm referring to that one video#cuz like............ if he had OTHER people's attention and love and praise instead of having to focus solely on racing attention#m a y b e he could chill tf out#I could fix him#or make him worse if he wanted to#it's way too early for this I'm sorry yall aldjkskdksmd#simp rambles
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Was just thinking about the amount of animals Obi-Wan interacts with compared to literally everyone else and in the Clone Wars episode where Kamino gets attacked he literally gets saved twice by the same ray-like animal and just...
The growth from judging Qui-Gon for the 'pathetic lifeforms' he picks up to whatever he has going on during the Clone Wars era. He must have gotten that from Qui-Gon though, right?
And because it's my brain and it's rotting with all the star wars stuff I am consuming I was thinking of Obi-Wan saving all these creatures and the 212th having to deal with that. Surely they made one of the rooms pet proof in case one of them needs a new home. There also have to be clones who love that because of course Obi-Wan can't really take care of rescues on top of all his duties.
After the first few times this happens Cody learns to order animal food and other necessities. And if the Republic doesn't fulfill these requests or asks too many questions he'll just have to make sure to organize them on planet during the campaigns.
#maybe they even keep a tooka or two#for the morale#but seriously#i have been thinking about writing a soft crackfic about this#just the 212th travelling with a whole zoo#already made up my own clones and all#cody is very done but it makes his general happy so who is he to complain?#when the 501st learn about it they start bothering Rex about it#or they ask Anakin ans Ahsoka to do thr same type of Jedi magics#they want pets too can you blame them?#obi wan is pretty oblivious to all of this#he just wants to help!!#and the tenth tooka was looking just *so* sad what was he supposed to do? leave it all alone and sad and scared?#it's just chaos all around#but also so soft#clones don't get a lot of chances to pet any animals during their training and war doesn't really offer these opportunities either#so whenever other battalions work with the 212th and learn about their zoo they get excited#accidental therapy animals for the clones#and the jedi because what better way to find the energy to keep fighting and bonding with an innocent lifeform that gets affected by the war#adoptions go wild#the wolfpack asks Plo for wolves#Plo struggles to say no#star wars#tcw#obi wan kenobi#212th attack battalion#commander cody#accidental animal acquisition#I just remembered vaguely that in one of the Jedi Apprentice books Obi Wan has a bird on his shoulder??#maybe he didn't get this from Qui Gon after all though I'm sure Qui Gon encouraged and reinforced that behaviour
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The way people talk about Tsukasa makes me want to murder people /neg
Somehow just because Tsukasa attracted the attention of the younger fanbase, people just have found themselves allowing to dunk on his fanbase because "how dare these 12 year old misinterpret a character that I don't even personally like".
Because yeah it's almost like young people can identify a darker part of a character but overexagerate it because the part that discerns nuance isn't even fucking developped yet. Or you know maybe it's just fun making angst, maybe they're just venting through Tsukasa ?
And somehow these people making angst are somehow more wrong than the people who just act as though Tsukasa is like the happiest guy ever with the least amount of struggles (because how dare he be happy, the only way a person can be struggling is if they're miserable 24/7).
Like it's wild it's somehow the same thing that happened to Sans, it's as though people don't realize that making a character have less problem than in canon is just as much of a misinterpretation than the opposite, you're not smarter for it.
No genuinely what's wrong with people, every other male oc fans get to do whatever and somehow Tsukasa fans are the ones that only enjoy his character cause he's a "dude".
I'm a Rui fan but it makes 0 sense to me how much of us just get away with more because ig it's more acceptable to make angst of rui ????
Like people say "wow people exagerate Tsukasa's backstory so muchh lol", like ok here are the multiple instances of Tsukasa flashbacks :
-Dazzling Lights
-Tenma mixed event
-Colorfes card
-Vocaloid World Link
Wow, yeah really short and rare Tsukasa flashbacks yeah....
And also people acting as though he was fine being alone at home are just straight up lying, like that is a lie the game literally tells you he's not fine blatantly in Dazzling Lights. And if you somehow needed more proof you can dig through the vocaloid world link, his colorfes card or even fucking side card stories.
There's no reason to talk about Tsukasa fans and how exagerated Tsukasa angst is i'm sorry, you're just being a bully and passive agressive to fans who want to have fun. The only time it's worth while to dunk on them is for ableism which IS a problem with Tsukasa fans.
Obviously I'm not gonna police you into what you should talk about but I just think it's really obnoxious and just kinda has been worsening the toxicity of this already radioactive fandom.
Also don't take anything in this post too personally this is just like a scream into the void about this fandom's behavior around Tsukasa.
I'm talking about this also because I literally saw firsthand how just kinda mean people are to others who just have fun.
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#tsukasa tenma#tsukasa wxs#tenma tsukasa#wonderlandxshowtime#wxs#fandoms are trying way too hard to dunk on people for making things too edgy cause they remembered when fandoms used to thrive on that shit#like this behavior is just residue from the cringe culture era#also don't say “well it's just me criticising their analysis” cause 99 pourcent of the time it's not and often time those#criticism are based on just complete falsehoods or biases#like yeah sure you don't think Tsukasa's childhood was “that bad” but uhm the story still confirms it had#an effect on him like weither you want to deny that or not#if you want tsukasa to be your happy golden boy you can but it's as much of a “minsinterpretation” as the people you dunk on from making#tsukasa a sad little guy#if tsukasa fans annoy you talk about it to your friends don't just like act passive agressive#also keep in mind Tsukasa isn't my fav in WxS the only reason I talk about him so much is because people just keep talking nonsense#In fact i'm more of a Ruinene type of guy the only reason I don't talk about Nene as much is bc she is (mostly) free of misinterpretation#though that's in part bc no one talks about her even though she deserves it
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