#if u want u can tell me smth nice in tags or anywhere really<3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[barghest-land]

drew arthur with a little friend. they're talking about life and death

[alanncs]

hi my angels ! my name’s dani , i’m from toronto ontario aka best city in the worldt , & i’m 20  !  i’m the kelsey m on the main  &  i can’t tell u how excited i am to have wealthy up n running again !  i literally can’t wait to plot with all you beautiful peoples , so pls like this  &  i’ll slide in the dms , otherwise u can also hit me up on discord 𝒎𝒈𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 .#1958  !!  i’m gonna put all you need  2 know about alanna below aaand i hope y’all like her ! <3

new york’s very own alanna d'alessio was spotted on broadway street in gucci bee sneakers . your resemblance to hailey baldwin is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty first birthday bash . while living in nyc ,  you’ve been labeled as being reticent , but also gracious . i guess being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be anything pink , the lingering smell of weed , and a cigarette between her fingers . &  ( cisfemale & she/her  )  +  ( dani , 20 , she/her , est . )

                    *  /   𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠 .

full  name  :  alanna  marie  d’alessio  .

age :  twenty  -  one  .

hometown  :  new  york  city  .

zodiac  chart  :  scorpio  sun  ,  aquarius  moon  ,  libra  rising  .

character  inspo  :  alyssa  (  the  end  of  the  f*cking  world  )  ,  marissa  cooper  (  the  o.c  )  ,  hanna  marin  (  pretty  little  liars  )  .

                   *  /   𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚   !!  tw  : kidnapping , ransom , drugs

alanna was born heir to the d'alessio family which came with the billion dollar dynasty that her parents created . 

her dad is an italian government official  but they grew up in ny basically bc her dad is an ambassador/representative for italy  &  her mother is a super model who also wanted to raise her kids here having lived here her whole life , and so they did . 

she had everything handed to her on a silver platter and her parents expected nothing but success from her because of how wealthy they were, they knew they would never have to worry about providing for her and her siblings , and so they spoiled her with whatever she asked for and more

but that came with a price, she was expected to do everything they wanted of her, go to an ivy league college, follow in one of her parent’s career footsteps

alanna did just that, she got amazing grades in high school and was head of many student clubs, organized prom, got almost perfect on sat’s and exams, and busted her ass to get into a good college despite the fact that her parents could’ve easily gotten her a spot if she didn’t do as well as she did

her life was going so well, she had the perfect boyfriend, perfect group of friends, was on her way to brown university in a couple of months, her parents and her couldn’t have been in a better spot with their daughter

the last thing they expected was for someone, a stranger, to get their hands on their daughter . a week after her 18th birthday , she’s walking to school on a monday morning and before she knows what’s happening , there’s something over her head and she’s being dragged into a van and taken from her life

the one thing that was expected, was the $10 million ransom she was held for

basically her dad had some shady dealings with the italian mob & didn’t pay his debts to them for some time - so they kidnapped alanna in retaliation for that

they kept her for 3 days before her parents were able to work with the authorities to get her returned and pay the people in full

surprisingly, she was returned alive but she had to spend two weeks in the hospital afterwards with injuries

once alanna was returned, she wasn’t the same

she told the police what happened to her , but only barely . she didn’t tell her parents or anyone else about what they did to her when she was gone .

she didn’t speak , eat or sleep for two months after she got home

she spent the last few months of her high school in bed, she didn’t attend her graduation, deferred from going to brown in the fall, she didn’t see her friends anymore and she broke up with her boyfriend

the people who took her were never caught & she is still to this day completely terrified of going anywhere alone

she never walks anywhere alone  

it took her months to be able to get back to doing normal things again and being who she was before

to this day ,  alanna still struggles with the memories and the ptsd from what happened to her , but she doesn’t speak to anyone about it and she refuses to bring it up in any scenario

she also has a horrible relationship with her father now , having trouble forgiving him for what happened to her

some people know about it as obviously, being as famous as her family is, it was on the news at the time, and everyone she went to high school with knew what happened so sometimes it can be hard to avoid it

she wants to forget - here comes her secret - she got into drugs after the kidnapping and it quickly spiraled out of control , now she can’t seem to function without them because they’re the only thing that make her feel normal and make the memories fade

anything she can get her hands on rly

but the media think she’s an angel , her reputation has been kept p much pristine her whole life . and her parents have no clue how much she’s struggling or how much she’s changed . so if this were to come out , it would tarnish not only alanna’s reputation but her family’s  as well

                                         *  /   𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚  !!

after deferring from brown ,  alanna knew she had to find some way to keep herself occupied and make money , even though she could live off her parents for however long she wanted

alanna wants to be . miss independent .

so she started getting into modelling , bc of her mom it was easy for her to book gigs

she was able to book gigs like adidas , guess , calvin klein  etc  !

so  that was super exciting for her bc she got really into it and  enjoyed doing it sm

she started acting about a year ago - started off in a few movies , & now she’s currently starring in a netflix series - smth similiar to elite or on my block !

oko so in high school alanna was super bubbly , and just like the really overly nice girl that would talk to literally every 1

but it worked for her bc she was  voted prom queen  and valedictorian ! even tho she missed graduation . yike

Anyway now ! she is not v much like that anymore , except  when she’s super high .

since her kidnapping alanna has been closed off and aloof . in general , she’s not as talkative

she says what she thinks but it usually comes in one word mumbles

can sometimes b very entertaining  . she’s kinda like paris hilton a little bit

also think Marissa from the oc !!

call her a  spoiled brat she’s gonna be like “ yah… and ?”

she  can be very selfish to a fault  in certain situations

and very defensive if she feels attacked, judged , put into a corner , physically cornered , etc

she’s a hopeless romantic at heart and dreams of having an epic love story

but she  has Hella trust issues which easily lead to commitment issues for her so … she will cheat “by accident” lol

that’s why she tries to steer clear of relationships but she also has such a big heart she  falls in love 5 times a day sffsdkj

also w  how much this girl  can sleep around it’s not happening any Time soon 4 her ! she enjoys being single a lot

Bc she likes to get wild

shes like nicole richie on the simple life when she’s partying  lmao

like she likes 2 fuck with ppl sometimes lol , like she will flirt w anyone and everyone just cus she’s bored

umm she lives  in sweatpants n crop tops !

her hair is either in a  bun or just down , she’s rly lazy when it comes to hair and makeup   . like if her makeups done someone else did it lol

Unless she’s like fully in the mood

ooverall she’s a rly sweet lil bean whos just scared of humans ! :’(

um ya idk im always developing  her but IF U read  all this  ilysm !

here’s her pinterest board for more of an idea !

                                  *  /  𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔  !!

EVERYTHING   !  here is a link to my wc page & a link to my wc TAG which are both full of ideas so  msg me  & i’ll throw tons of ideas at u <333 let’s do it i luv plotting sm okay

[alukaforyou]

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

[sundrenched-smilez]

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch? 

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like   

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online. 

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future? 

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it. 

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt 

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone 

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there. 

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good. 

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay. 

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit. 

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them 

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one. 

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying. 

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet. 

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are. 

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls. 

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped. 

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit. 

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a 

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl 

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this

[gh0stpkmn]

ok sorry for droppin rambly shit in the yooran tag again but! ok. headcanon:

while happy supportive yooran where they’re instantly bffs is so Good and Pure, i feel like another possible way they could start out is.... they Dont like each other at all. they’re almost enemies. they have beef. 

putting this under a readmore because its Long sorry. also a link to the beginnings of a fic for this.

(i feel i should mention that i wanted to include the inevitable Rika Conversation™ where saeran is having a relapse/regression moment and slipping into ‘Unknown’ territory bbbbut that seems a bit too heavy and doesn’t really fit in anywhere here. that could be a separate post or ficlet idk)

OK SO. How does this dumb thing start?? let’s set this scene

so... while it’s unlikely that saeyoung would let saeran interact all that much with the rfa until he feels he’s ready (maybe around time of the little rfa get-together in secret ending 2) i’m imagining a scenario where... yoosung is briefly at the bunker.

i wrote this interaction in a lil’ drabble bbbut idk if i’ll write everything as an actual fanfic.

  it’s HERE if you want to read it tho!!!!

ok. after this exchange yoosung is just suuuuuper taken aback. he tells himself to brush this off because, again, saeran has been through some shit. he’s probably just not used to people yet. deep down though, he feels kind of hurt and offended.

saeyoung probably just. interrupts to diffuse the situation or smth and tell yoosung that maybe he should leave. apologizes for his brother’s behavior blah blah blah “he just needs time to adjust to everything.”

but. it keeps happening. and the weird tension from their first meeting kind of just.. carries over into their next interaction. and the next. and the one after that

it’s at a point where saeran is less aggressive, less abrasive... he’s just very shy and withdrawn like we see in secret ending 2. he talks in the messenger sometimes, but not often... but when he comes to the chatroom and yoosung is online, he logs out. at rfa meetings / get-togethers, he avoids yoosung

because yoosung is exhausting to be around and he Cant deal with it...(saeyoung is too but he has to deal with that 24/7 anyways)

gradually, saeran opens up to the rfa a little more. he talks a bit more in the chat. sometimes tries making a few jokes. he comes to most if not all the rfa events with his brother. and obviously he’s way more comfortable around his brother and mc, but also he’s on decent terms with the other members.

except. for. yoosung!

now he’s not actively avoiding yoosung, but not making any attempt to talk to him either. if they have to talk at all, interactions are very brief and stiff and uncomfortable. they tolerate each other, but barely. 

eventually saeran starts making little comments now and then? like. they’re probably stuck together working on an rfa thing, or yoosung is over hanging out with saeyoung and saeran passes by to the kitchen or to say smth to saeyoung IDK. they have moments where they’re forced to spend time together, and it’s just very very tense.

and at this point Yoosung is Annoyed!!! because saeran is so rude and won’t even try to be friends with him. what an asshole. god.

he gets even angrier when saeran starts making little quips at him. little tiny comments every now and then and they’re not always outright rude or mean but.... his tone is very Deadpan and kind of sarcastic... sometimes he will be rude and mumble a complaint abt yoosung to himself or mock him under his breath, which yoosung hears and gets mad and huffy about

the Last Fucking Straw is at an rfa event of some kind. maybe a party?? yeah. yoosung walks in, ready to have a fun time with his rfa family. he is So prepared for the party and in a great mood. he’s greeting them, everyone is showing up and greeting each other. and then he turns his head 

and sees saeran standing there, blank faced. and before yoosung can force himself to be polite and say hello, saeran just says, deadpan

“your roots are showing”

YOOSUNG IS DONE!! He’s so pissed off!!!!! he fucking knows his roots are showing! he’s been so busy with school that he hasn’t had a chance to touch up his hair in a while. he can’t even bring himself to ignore the comment and try to be nice, he is d-o-n-e. 

his face gets so red, and his fists ball up, and his shoulders tense and he explodes 

“Saeran, what the HELL did I ever do to you??? Why are you like this? I’ve been nothing but nice since we met, but you’re always so damn rude!! What’s with you? Why can’t we just get along and be friends?”

he’s embarrassed at himself but more pissed off that saeran isn’t saying anything. his expressed has barely changed, but he’s blinking at him and looking maybe just a little confused, tilting his head a bit

nd he’s like.

“we are friends”

yoosung is. So confused. SO FUCKING Confused. 

“what? but you hate me!”

“um. no.”

“but you’re always mumbling under your breath that i’m annoying! you say rude things and mock me!”

saeran just. shrugs. avoids eye contact and shove his hands in his pockets.  he says “you are annoying” like it’s a fact and kinda. walks away to go do other things

yoosung is left there confused and frustrated but not as mad as he thinks he should be

OK and like? insight into saeran’s side..... saeran’s annoyance w/ yoosung just gradually fades away as he gets better and opens up to people, but he feels weird at first doing a complete 180 and treating yoosung super friendly. part of him also isn’t ready for yoosung’s dramatically cheerful “gosh i KNEW we could be friends” and big hugs and all that

also because.......... he likes seeing yoosung huffy and frustrated. it’s really funny to him. he likes it? a lot more than he probably should to be honest. and at this point he just automatically considers them friends. at least in his mind? idk. his thought process is like “i don’t totally hate them and i think they’re okay to be around so... friend.” 

as for the roots comment he made?? it goes a bit deeper than all this fluffy silly stuff. like... for saeran, it’s really easy to trigger flashbacks or panic attacks for him? so many little things remind him of his mom or mint eye, rika, etc. it’s hard... i feel like there’s some vague discomfort he feels around yoosung when he’s reminded about how strongly yoosung cares/cared for rika. 

and it’s easy enough to keep it under control because yoosung doesn’t talk about her that much anymore, bbbbbut like. sometimes... saeran remembers someone mentioning that yoosung dyed his hair to be closer to rika. they don’t really look alike (bc she was adopted if i remember correctly?) but the blond hair and the significance behind it can get to him sometimes. 

so when yoosungs natural roots start showing he is... really relieved? really happy too tbh. bc he kind of maybe sort of genuinely likes hangin around w yoosung! and now he can see that little sign that he really is his own person, not just some kid who idolizes (idolized?) the person who abused him. ye.

anyways from here on saeyoung probably teases yoosung when yoosung asks him what the Fuck is going on w his brother. he’s like 

“lol how did you not notice that he likes being around you? it’s so obvious. he wouldn’t do things like stay in the room while we’re playing games to stare at the back of your head for 3 more seconds if he didn’t like you!! come on, dude.”

(yoosung didnt notice that tho whoops)

and “the teasing or whatever? pissing you off? holy shit dude that makes it even MORE obvious that he’s chill with you”

yoosung stays confused until he decides to talk to saeran about it and they start like. actually having proper conversations. and hanging out. and they both feel pretty awkward at first but their relationship gradually develops until they’re really good friends.

and then eventually, really good boyfriends. whooops.

that’s it’s own post altogether tho so i’ll leave it at that

if ur reading this, thank u for bearing with me thru my rambling. god.

[minhyukie]

hello it’s ur Local Mess here to talk about herself and do a lot of tag games im sorry for being the worst these are literally from within the past like two months and you all probably don’t even remember tagging me or care about my answers but than k you to @ki-hyunie​ @haehoney​ @honeyvevo​ @94wons​ @ckyun​ for tagging me in these i’m putting them all together so that you can all have the ultimate compilation of useless information about me!! please enjoy!!

im not tagging anyone because i don’t want to subject anyone to this but if u too love talking about yourself please tag me because i love hearing people talk about themselves

Name - amy

Age - 20

Height - 5′3 (160 cm?)

Ult Bias - seohyun + minhyuk the two loves of my life :(

Nicknames - i don’t really get many nicknames?? my roommate calls me amu though

Zodiac sign - aries

Favorite fruit - mmm kiwi? raspberries? strawberries? mangos!!! i fucking love fruits i don’t know i love them all

Favorite season - probably summer!

Favorite color - pink!! pink pink pink!

Coffee, Tea or Hot Cocoa - hot chocolate!!!

Favorite animal(s) - GOATS (if ur reading this @ me in goats)

Dream trip - i’ve been there very very briefly but i’d love to live in germany for a little?? i guess that’s not a trip but idk i’d be happy going on a trip anywhere tbh :’)

Number of blankets you sleep with - one!

Dogs or cats - i love my cats!! even though i’ve recently discovered that i’m probably allergic fjdkslf

Side blog - this... used to be a sideblog until i became too involved with mx and snsd :// so i guess my old main is a sideblog? idk @morningcomes​ <<<

Follower count - a little over 700!!! i love u all thanks for putting up w me

When did you start this blog - this particular blog was the beginning of 2017! but ive been on tumblr since like 2010 i think ://

relationship status: it’s... um.... it’s complicated fdkslfjsd let’s just say im in a relationship even though im not sure if we’re actually dating or what we’re doing.... let’s just say that

favorite color: pink!!!!!!!!!!!!

lipstick or chapstick: chapstick

last song i listened to: i really like humble and dna by kendrick lamar so i’ve had those on repeat the last few days!

last movie i watched: ... moana?? god it’s really been a long time since i’ve watched a movie

top three tv shows: friends!!! fullmetal alchemist brotherhood if that counts? avatar the last airbender.. a forever favorite

top three characters: look im the worst at coming up w these things so i’ll just give my favorites from the above shows: rachel!! or monica or chandler i don’t know i love them all :( envy!! winry!!! zuko and toph!

top three ships: ok i just want to clarify like.. pairings and not ships but joohyuk!! hyohyun :’’) and.... wow how am i supposed to limit this to a third one i guess i’ll say kihyuk because im in love with them the past few days

Bold the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have had braces There is something i would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin I am an introvert I like meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports I’ve been on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event (i honestly don’t know what this means but imma say yes) I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship I have a celebrity crush I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend

(ok listen... lemme just reiterate... not sure if what im in is considered a relationship fdjkslfds)

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages fluently I have made a new friend in the past year

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? yes!!! im so grateful

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? i honestly have no clue i say it all the time through messages but im like... emotionally stunted in real life lmao

3. do you regret anything? yea mostly just opportunities that i should’ve taken that i don’t because i don’t have the will to put in the effort ://

4. are you insecure? not usually!

5. what’s your relationship status? listen.... complicated....

6. how do you want to die? this is 2 morbid for me next please

7. what did you last eat? bugles!!! i love bugles

8. played any sports? i ran cross country in high school for 3 years and did track for one!!

9. do you bite your nails? nope

10. when was your last physical fight? ha h ah haha i don’t think i’ve ever been in a physical fight

11. do you like someone? yea!

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? yes... too many times

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? no, not really!

14. do you miss someone? yea i miss a few of my high school friends that i wish i got to see more often and i miss us all hanging out as a group

15. have any pets?
 my family has 4 cats!

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
 A+!

17. ever made out in the bathroom? damn i was ready to say no but.... i actually have.... im shocked at myself

18. are you scared of spiders?
 in certain situations?? who am i kidding lfjdkslfd yes

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? nah

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? ummmmmm my bed

21. what are your plans for this weekend? sleep and study :(

22. do you want to have kids? how many? idk?? i’m not very passionate about it tbh i’d be happy with anywhere between 0-3 kids

23. do you have piercings? how many? both my ears are double pierced!

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? i fuckin love math!! i would die for math also im pretty good at chemistry physics and computer science idk most things math/science related :)

25. do you miss anyone from your past?
 mostly just the same as before?? miss some of my hs friends

26. what are you craving right now?
 ..sleep

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
 i don’t think so??

28. have you ever been cheated on?
 nope!

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
 yea :(

30. what’s irritating you right now? too much to do too little time

31. does somebody love you? ..yes? i hope

32. what is your favourite color? pink!!!!!!!

33. do you have trust issues? not really trust issues but like i said before i think im like.. emotionally stunted or smth

34. who/what was your last dream about? i hoenstly can’t remember any recent dreams

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? my ?boyfriend? lmao i cry all the time

36. do you give out second chances too easily? mmm idk? i’ve honestly never really thought about it

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? forget ://

38. is this year the best year of your life?
 noooo

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? 18!

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? fdjskflds no

51. favourite food?
 yo this just jumped from 40 to 51 fjdklsfdjsk anyway um! chicken

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? lmao no that’s some wishful thinking :(

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
 i did most of my computer science lab :/

54. is cheating ever okay?
 no

55. are you mean? sometimes i can be really bad about impulsively saying things and... yea it can be mean :( but like in general? i don’t think im a mean person

56. how many people have you fist fought? i would cry if someone tried to fight me

57. do you believe in true love?
 yea!

58. favourite weather? gimme that sunshine, no humidity with a breeze

59. do you like the snow? yea!! but not excessively

60. do you wanna get married? yeah? but also it’s not like one of my overlying life goals ya know but if it happens that would be nice

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? honestly whenever i hear people say baby in real life i cringe fjdsklfds idk i mean i say it in the tags on here but in real life... nah and i call some of my friends babe but i do it jokingly it just seems weird to do that like.. romantically

62. what makes you happy? getting time to myself!!! to do the things i want to do and relax! to spend time with my friends just relaxing as well! in particular getting to paint and getting to play piano make me really happy and relaxed

63. would you change your name? nope!

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
 nope!

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? ummm did u mean... my current situation jfkdlsfs

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yes mostly?? he definitely thinks im a lil weird when im like 100% myself but he still loves me anyway so :’)

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
 ^^^ said above best friend

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my high school best friend?? i think

69. do you believe in soulmates? not really it’s a nice idea though

70. is there anyone you would die for? probably a few of my closest friends

fdskfdlsfjdks hope none of u read all that!!! this deserves to be my about page tbh