#someone who would always take care of her no matter what
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
chimivx · 3 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
home;run -> fem!reader x mlb!mingyu, mlb!vernon, mlb!dk
College didn't work out, so you're stuck with the next best thing. Living with your superstar brother, traveling with his championship winning team, haunted by your past and heavily influenced by your present.
Tumblr media
wc; {part two} 5.6k warnings; 18+, sexual content, alcohol consumption/abuse, bad influences around her, manipulation, her name gets taken advantage of in public media, if i missed anything please let me know!! notes; hi, i am posting & feeling shy. please enjoy. <3 dusting off my fingers for this one, i am still not feeling 100%, thank you everyone for your kind words & messages. peese n lurv. <3
Tumblr media
Weeks ago your brother decided this Mingyu thing was good, but only in theory. Parading around with him, hanging out with him, going to bars with him, hooking up with him… All of it actually happening, not good.
DK would prefer you to have these rendezvous with someone who didn’t try to drink his body weight in liquor each time the first can hit his hand, but alas, you were brought home safe every time, so who was he to complain or pick and choose who you can and can’t hang out with.
After their first few seasons together it was clear the two had different outlooks on life, neither of them really in the wrong with how they chose to go about their time, but they didn’t match. They clashed. Your brother, after spending time educating himself on his fathers history and evidently learning that baseball wasn’t the only thing he played, he took a different approach to dating, to women. He was a proper gentleman, DK was, never using his status to acquire a girlfriend with status or money or a title, he searched for love.
A star studded, best pitcher in baseball shouldn’t have had his heart broken as many times as his had been, he should’ve been the one breaking hearts. The girls wanted his money, and they only liked him because he played baseball. His status, his money, his title. All the things he didn’t necessarily want, but had been blessed with. 
He was a good man, and he was always right, but you’d never admit that to his face. Especially after that night, after a weekend of staying at Mingyu’s. DK had sat you down, he spoke for many minutes, many dragging minutes, a monologue full of ‘Wouldn’t you prefer to do something else?’ and ‘Have your friends from Nasara come out to stay with us sometime, maybe you all can spend time in the city together.’ He never said the words, “Don’t date Mingyu,” but you know he despised the idea.
Deep down you despised it too. 
The hunk of golden muscle with a voice so pretty and persuading, he wanted to be your boyfriend. Mingyu’s asked a few times before, letting it become your decision, always telling you he’d wait for you, and that you were his no matter what, that he was here for you, he wanted to take care of you, he wanted to love you. He’d keep his word, you knew he would. It was Mingyu, he kept his promises, he spoke with utmost intent, he didn’t say shit just to say it, nor was he using it to coerce you into his sheets. That you did on your own.
His curly hair, his sappy brown eyes, you’d drown it in, in him, suffocate yourself with Mingyu, all of him until the guilt wallowing in your gut was gone. With each passing day it grew smaller. After each night with Mingyu it was easier to deal with. Like last night, like this entire trip would be.
Arriving in Haos, in the warm air that breezed over your skin like a dream when you stepped out of the airport hand in hand with Mingyu sending cameras flashing away, you finally felt like you could breathe. Away from Iloa, away from the restraints the city put on you, really your brother, this trip felt like freedom. Haos has always been a place you’ve thrived since you were a little girl, traveling back and forth on a jet with your parents and DK, vacationing for months throughout the summer, laying on these beaches until your skin couldn’t take it any longer. The air was different here, it excited you.
It invited you to dance in it, to get lost in it like you did Mingyu.
And that’s just what you did.
Waking up to sunshine peeking through the heavy grey curtains of the hotel room, washing over you where you laid in the king sized bed buried in white sheets and blankets, you didn’t even want to open your eyes. Pressing your hands to your forehead first, rolling onto your back, the ache squeezing your brain threatened your stomach, but you wouldn’t allow it to go any further. Taking a slow, calculated deep breath you lay your arms beside you and stretch, your limbs barely reaching the edges of the mattress. Muscles sore, body tired, you blinked open your eyes and scolded the light with a groan.
Moving beneath the covers, the soft sheets caressing your bare skin, you tugged them off and took your time sitting up. The weight in your head shifted, almost sending you forward. Clamping your hands to your knees, still blinking fervently in the bright sunshine, you find clothes scattered about the floor, your bell bottom jeans inside out and slung over a dresser across the room from you.
You weren’t sure whose room you were in, but the denim jacket, Nike luggage, and custom sneakers let you know where you were. Dragging a hand through your hair, the blow dry still bouncing even though your jaw ached, you took another breath and made your way out of his bed.
These headlines were gonna be good.
You scrolled, and scrolled. Instagram, Twitter, all the accounts that reported on you, that reported on Mingyu, you scrolled, and you read. Wandering out of bed, you scrolled, sitting on the toilet, you scrolled, brushing your teeth, you scrolled. The photos were cute, Mingyu’s arm either around your back or shoulders, unless his hand was wrapped around your neck or squeezing your ass. More often than not your lips were locked, the two of you ‘unable to get enough’ as one drama influencer said on her story.
You’ve been here one night and have already achieved what you came here to do.
There was a certain rush accompanied by seeing your name in posts, in headlines, coming out of peoples mouths. Everyone had their thing, everyone in your life, they had their thing. This was yours, and people were catching on. After each blow up of news, of rumors, of new photos, your follower count grew.
But where there were fun people talking about you, doing their makeup in their ‘Get Ready With Me and Chit Chat About Moon Isla…’ videos and TikToks, there were the assholes, mostly men, who spewed their worthless thoughts. That’s what DK would say. Mingyu had started saying it too, that those kinds of people had nothing better to do with their lives.
It didn’t mean their words didn’t hurt.
“I mean, she’s sloppy, she’s drinking all the time, and he’s there to carry her around,” a man with a microphone in his face and big headphones on around his head spoke from your phone. Dressed now, having read an article that informed you that you bought the entire bar shots of tequila, you attempted to liven up your face in the mirror that stretched across the bathroom wall. “His team is in Haos to train. To practice. To begin their season to take back their trophy, and this bitch is with them, dragging Kim all along Festa Street.” Slicking clear gloss over your lips, you narrowed your eyes and glared at the man on the screen.
Fair skinned, bald, with a bush on his face and all around his jaw. He had that nagging sort of voice, one that tugged on your eardrums and stabbed them thousands and thousands of times with tiny needles filling you with rage.
“Photos came out right away when the team got there, you know,” the man said, and his partner, another bald man with a Lions hat on, hummed in agreement. “Not a smile on his face. Sunglasses on, gear on his back, his hat tugged over his forehead. Now what do you think that means?”
“He’s hungover,” the partner said. The man threw his hands out to the side and cackled.
“Thank you, he’s hungover, and he has to play today.” You scoffed and snatched your phone off the counter. “They’re lucky the new first-”
“Shut up,” you groaned, swiping away to another video. A girl with long, waist length braids in her hair, each one entwined with a fun color was smiling to the camera.
“Guys,” she finally whispered after a second of staring. A giggle corrupted her, sending her face down into her pillows. The camera shook, then she picked her head back up and widened her eyes for a few seconds. “How do I become her?” She slapped a hand over her mouth, then giggled maniacally again. “How do I- Wait, hang on.” 
The camera cut and a picture showed up behind her. Your cheeks warmed. Mingyu had you pressed to a pillar in one of the bars you were in, the name unknown to you. His hands were in the back pockets of your jeans and his forehead was pressed to yours. The way he smiled down at you, god. The picture was a little blurry, a little grainy, but damn. He wasn’t looking at you like you were his dinner. Hearts engulfed his irises.
“Guys?!” The girl shrieked and you jumped, forgetting she was here. “Kim Mingyu, save me! Look at this, do you see this, are we all okay after this…” She rambled more nonsense, and you’re certain the thousands of comments were agreeing with her. On every video of girls like this the comments were full of more girls saying the same exact thing.
You dared, and you clicked.
‘how does she not die when he looks like that’
‘LORD WHEN IS IT MY TURRRRRRN’
‘Shes so lucky waht the actual fuck guys its not fair.’
‘how are they NOT DATING’
How are they not dating? How are you not dating Mingyu? How could you look at a photo like this one, all of it screaming that he loved you, how could you see this, witness this, live this, and not date him? Not want to date him?
Locking your phone, tossing it to the counter, you returned to your makeup and put on fresh mascara, not that anyone was going to see it.
Venturing out into the room, side stepping articles of clothing, you pulled on one of Mingyu's grey Lions tee’s and wiggled back into the jeans you wore last night. Your luggage was elsewhere. DK would tell you where it ended up, he’d tell you where you were staying. You haven’t seen him since you left the airport, you were not looking forward to the lecture you’d get when you met him at the field.
Sliding thick black sunglasses onto your nose, making sure your hair framed your face, you spritzed some of Mingyu’s cologne onto your neck, dropped your things into your little purse, slid into your shoes, and left his room behind.
The team was gone, they’d been out on the field for two hours already. Nearing eleven o’clock you weren’t sure who else would be left behind here at the hotel, hopefully someone you’d catch a ride with, but to your demise as you wandered the halls and rode the elevator down to the lobby, your least favorite people were here.
The WAGs.
A piercing cry echoed through the air and the glass ceiling of the lobby.
The WAGs and their children.
To the right of the main lobby, the carpeted area where large leather couches and a fireplace lived, fabulous heads of hair sat around or stood with their babies in their arms. Tight jeans, fun Lions themed jackets, the whole thing screamed WAGs and it made you want to gag. 
Then you remembered what shirt you put on and kept your thoughts to yourself.
Already regretting approaching them, you took yourself toward the couches and attempted to smile at them. In an instant their chatter quieted, their attention turned to you, and they broke out in cheesy greetings. There were only a few faces you recognized.
Seungcheols wife, Talia, who was very pregnant, had their son Tao on her hip where she stood in front of the couches. Luscious blonde hair flowing toward her waist, her full face of makeup smiled back at you. She was one of the few you actually trusted. Gesturing toward her knee high wedged boots, you shot her a thumbs up. From what you know she was weeks from popping out kid number two, so how she was walking around in those boots, props to her.
On the couch directly in front of you rocking her crying baby sat Daya, a brunette with macchiato colored skin married to the Lions second basemen, Soonyoung, or Hoshi, as the city of Iloa called him. They haven’t been married long, but their baby girl, Tora, was six months old. Hoshi was one of the reasons the team started to crumble last season. Between Daya and his new daughter, the family fought the narrative the entire off season. 
Daya sat beside Halle, a woman with curly black hair hanging at her shoulders and the smoothest dark chocolate complexion. She bounced a baby in her arms, her and her husband, Minghao, their eight month old, Sunday. Another daughter born into the Lions family, one toward the beginning of the season, the family just missing the reason for crumble rumors.
The two were best friends, Daya and Halle, just as were Hoshi and Minghao. With their chins turned up at you and their seemingly judging eyes studying what you wore and how you wore it, they smiled and shared a look.
“Isla you’re so fun,” Talia said with a shake of her head. 
Daya laughed under her breath. “She’ll be one of us soon,” she grumbled, and Halle laughed with her.
“Leave the girl be,” Jihyo spoke up as she passed by the couches, wandering behind her and Junhui’s four year old son, Jisoo. Jun belonged to the Lions long before DK had ever been traded, he was a veteran in Iloa. He and his wife, a couple of high school sweethearts, welcomed you back time and time again, treating you no differently, as if no time had ever passed. Just seeing her face was relief enough.
“Hey,” you half whispered, reaching out for her. She took your hand and squeezed it, the smile lines on her cheeks accenting her stunning smile. Talia watched your hands meet, then watched the interaction, adjusting her baby on her hip. “It’s so nice to see you.”
Jihyo tossed her dark brown hair over the shoulder of her leather jacket. “It’s so much nicer seeing you. Don’t let these girls be mean to you,” she shot Daye and Halle a glare and the two turned toward one another, “She’s a baby, she’s not having any anytime soon.” Smiling back at you, she squeezed your hand once more before returning to her motherly duties. “You came down just in time, they’re picking us up any minute now.”
“How are things with Mingyu?” Daya asked, giving you another once over. “You guys conjure quite the crowd.” You didn’t like the way her eyes felt.
Shrugging, you pursed your lips and said, “Things are great. Why?”
She and Halle spoke to one another again with their eyes, then Minghao’s wife looked up at you. “Why aren’t things official, Isla?” 
Because if things become official then you end up on the couch here with these women and their babies, maybe even with a few of your own. You become a WAG, your entire identity succumbed down into just being someone's wife, someone's mother. You’d be an extension of him, of Mingyu, it’s what he wanted you to be even if he’s never explicitly said it.
But, he has.
You’re his. You’re his whether the label is there or not.
The label.
More of their questions bounced back and forth between them. ‘Has he not asked?’ ‘You have to do something, Isla, you can’t just be his pet.’ ‘I mean, what does it look like, you traveling with him to do what, party and sleep together?’ ‘We’ve seen the photos, everyone has, you guys have something-’
“It is official,” you said with a sureness that shut them up.
The words were set in stone before you had a chance to take them back. The chatter of the wives and girlfriends in the lobby filled the air and did nothing to ease the anxiety around the next news story you just created for yourself. For Mingyu. For your brother.
Exactly what he didn’t want.
Taking a deep breath, you thought to yourself, oh well.
You’d be a different type of WAG, you’d change what it meant. You would not end up here wedged between Daya and Halle, two women unable to calm their fussy babies.
Halle smirked, shaking her curls a bit. “What do you mean it is?”
Narrowing your eyes that she couldn’t see at her, you tilted your head. “He’s my boyfriend. I’m his girlfriend. How much more official can it get? You want proof? Wanna see the pictures he took of us while he was in me last night?”
Daya threw her head backward with a holler of a laugh. Halle’s own jaw fell open, a scoff falling from it. Talia, eyes analyzing still, she started to smile. 
“No, you keep those to yourself,” Halle said.
Daya chimed in, “If you have any of just Mingyu let us know, though.”
Your heart would’ve shot out your chest if you weren’t so hungover. “I would,” you sighed, then started toward the doors of the hotel, “But, he’s mine!”
First one to get to the cars, recognizing your brother's driver, you beelined for the SUV and demanded he pull away and get you to the stadium before any other women could try to get into the car with you. Barely five minutes away from the hotel and twenty from the stadium, your phone buzzed from your purse, and then it buzzed again, and again. Pulling it out you sighed at the notifications polluting your screen, but weren’t surprised in the slightest.
Someone got their check.
‘BREAKING NEWS: The Lions Princess confirms her relationship with…’
It was too long to read across the screen.
‘Moon Isla and Kim Mingyu CONFIRMED!’
‘IT’S OFFICIAL!’
No matter who it was, no matter who sold the story or leaked it, you didn’t have time to feel bad for them, nor yourself. You were well off and doing better for yourself without the need to leak info to the press for a paycheck. You have a DK, and now you have a boyfriend, who doesn’t know he’s your boyfriend yet, but is about to find out he is your boyfriend and probably already did. 
Now you had to tell him in person.
And you had to swear to yourself that you were not going to become one of the WAGs.
As easy as it would be to just hand your whole life over to somebody, to follow them around, to have them take care of you for as long as they saw fit… It wasn’t you.
And it wasn’t going to be you.
The stadium in Haos couldn’t compare to the one in Iloa. Smaller, less sparkly and flashy, positioned directly in the sun, this stadium was lucky the Lions continued to come here to train for a month and a half. The tickets they sold within February and March were probably enough to fund the rest of the year for this company. 
To the Lions it was home away from home. A field to play on, a place to stay. Players like your brother saw it that way, he and a few others like Junhui, they had an appreciation for it. As long as they were throwing a baseball, running the bases, rolling in the grass, they were happy. You had few memories of this place, one of them being finally kissing Mingyu for the first time when you were eighteen and in Haos with your family for a weekend to watch the Lions play a series here. It was something short and sweet but all the more delicious. 
It was sneaky, in a hallway away from celebrations and cameras. The two of you had spent nearly the entire weekend together, talking, re-getting to know one another like most of the time like this was spent. He only kissed you after a dinner with the team, after a few drinks downed by the both of you, his liquid courage hands dancing along your neck gently before they took your cheeks and pulled you into him.
You started at Nasara that fall, though you longed to go back to that weekend every damn day of that grueling first semester. With little to no contact between you and Mingyu, it was easy to slip away from him, and you did so without even realizing it. There came a point in time where he wasn’t even a second thought, a side thought, a thought way in the back of your brain, he was just… gone.
Coming here, spending time at the stadium with the team you hoped that feeling would come back. That first feeling. The way nerves below your skin buzzed as he touched you, as he smiled at you and tipped his chin closer, whispering to you how he hopes no one turns the corner. His soft lips, his strong hands, his chiseled body you simply melted into… Everything about it screamed perfect.
Strutting over the concrete, a coffee acquired in your hand, sun blazing on your back, coaches, security, and other WAGs standing around eyeing you or trying to say hello, you ignored them and kept your head on straight, knowing he was at the end of this pathway. The stands of seats towered over your head, casting shadows onto the pavement, leading you toward the fence you so easily walked around with no one to stop you. Your feet quieted as the grass began, shade covering the green so lush you almost felt bad you were flattening it beneath your shoes.
The boys weren’t actively playing at the moment, the most activity happening that you could see was that of your brother and the Lions catcher Jihoon, or Woozi, stretching in the outfield together in their sponsored Under Armour get ups. Everyone else was wandering the dirt, chatting it up along the dugout, or checking out their gear. Few players stood in their positions from what you could see, everyone's backs to you as you approached the third base line.
“Isla!” His voice brought an instant smile to your face. He was heard before he was seen, scanning the different figures around you, you finally found him hurrying toward you, a big, goofy smile on his cheeks. Completely different than how those men on that podcast were describing him. 
A little bit sweaty, Mingyu wore a cut off Lions tank and matching black shorts, swapping his custom sneakers for a pair of old cleats that supposedly brought him luck while they trained. It wasn’t Spring Training if he didn’t have them on, no one would catch him jinxing the season before it even started. Some of his curls clung to his forehead, his skin aglow beneath the beating Haos sun.
“Change your mind, or something?” The way he scrunched his nose made you giggle. “Heard we’re dating now?” He made it in front of you finally, resting his hands on his hips as he caught his breath.
Pressing your lips together in a silly smile, you shrugged your shoulders and rocked on your feet. “Maybe we are.” He couldn’t tame his happiness, you were certain his cheeks would break. “Sucks I couldn’t have told you first, who’d you hear it from?”
“Hoshi.” He cocked his head backward toward the dugout. Peeking around his large frame you found the two best friends side by side leaning over the fence with their chins resting on their arms looking straight toward you and Mingyu. Hoshi, hair bleached into oblivion, and Minghao, shaggy black hair hanging down his neck. Both boys wore backwards baseball caps. “After he told me I checked to see if you said anything to me, but you didn’t.”
A pout graced your lips. “I wanted to come here and tell you, I’m sorry.”
He moved quickly, reaching out to take you by your shoulders. “No, please, don’t apologize, holy shit, Isla. If anything I’m sorry, it sucks that we can’t say anything without someone taking it and plastering it to the internet.” His thumbs drew circles over the fabric of his own t-shirt. “This mine?” He snickered.
“Yeah,” you sang, “I was in your room, Gyu. My suitcases are MIA.”
“They’re in your room,” he said as if he knew where it was.
You scoffed. “And you didn’t think to tell me where that was so I could-”
“On the other side of the hotel in one of the towers across the property by your brother.” It was all he had to say to have you both deadpanning in seconds. “Like, a mile apart.”
Laughing within a breath you leaned into him and slid an arm around his back. “Oh, agony,” you drug out, tipping your chin backward. “A mile, how ever are we going to do it?” It was too easy to make him laugh.
“DK did it on purpose,” he said quietly, bobbing his head, taking his arms around your back. “He thinks we don’t know what he does and why he does it but, it’s so obvious.” Sipping your coffee, you looked up at him and waited for more. “Does he know you were gonna do this? Today?”
Toying with the hem of his shirt you took a breath. “No, but I can tell you he definitely already knows, news travels fast around here.” The two of you spare your brother a glance, one he was returning. You’ve never seen DK mad, but you do know when his eyes have fallen upon something he doesn’t like.
“You’ll talk him down,” Mingyu nodded, gazing back down at you. “You always do, you have the magic.” 
Blinking, you turned your chin back up to him. “You could talk to him too, yanno.”
He made a face, baring his teeth, cringing. “Ah, you know how I feel about that.”
“It could potentially turn this whole thing around if you do, Gyu,” you muttered, defeat beginning to pool within you. “You want me, you gotta talk to him about it.”
A smile tugged at his lips as he reached for your coffee cup. “I have you. Watcha got in here?” He took a swing before you could answer him, his reaction making you laugh amongst the karma.
“Black coffee,” you droned, taking the white cup back. “And sugar, because someone made me do tequila shots all night.”
Snickering, he dropped down to press a kiss to your lips, one long and slow, as if he was putting the period on the It’s Official statement. Pulling back just slightly, Mingyu mumbled, “Why don’t you substitute that sugar for vodka so we can keep going tonight?”
“Aye, Kim!” A coach called out for him, the team heading back out onto the field.
Whirling around, pulling you into his side, Mingyu waves off the batting coach and ushers you into the dugout making sure you were along the fence with a good spot to watch him hit. Along the way he whispered nonsense to you, telling you what bars you should explore tonight, where you needed to go, what food you should try, but more importantly what drinks you could get and where.
“You’re gonna kill me, Gyu,” you whispered to him after he kissed you one last time. Laughing aloud, head thrown back with vigor, he took to home plate and his persona shifted. Gone was Gyu, out came Kim Mingyu, the Lions right fielder.
Sipping from your coffee, allowing it to ease the ache in your forehead and the unease in your gut, you stood up and wandered the empty dugout. Names were written on everything, the shirts, the bats, the gloves, the mits, it was adorable, it felt like when you’d watch your brother in little league and your father etched his name into everything he owned. Dragging your feet along the ground, dirt and pebbles scraping against the concrete beneath your shoes, you took a deep breath in through your nose and let the fresh air relax you.
Maybe this was a good thing.
The familiar sound of a baseball smacking into the glove of the catcher brought you more comfort than you ever could’ve imagined. Your brother was on the mound, Woozi behind the plate, Mingyu in the batter's box. The whooshing of the bat through the air as your boyfriend acquired another strike had the batting coach calling out a few things to him. With a small smile on your lips you wandered toward the stairs to the dugout along the first base line, stepping up them to lean against the post giving you the clearest view of the field.
Hangover aside, the day was beautiful. The weather was perfect, the boys were talking and laughing with one another, there was the crack of the ball hitting the bat filling you with excitement as someone shouted in the outfield. The ball Mingyu hit was foul, traveling just over right field, but it wasn’t hit long enough for their bench player whose name you hadn’t learned yet to catch it in right field. Your neck stretched, everyones did. Mingyu ran to first base, but Seungcheol would catch it before he made it down the line.
Except Seungcheol was behind home plate with the batting coach, arms folded over his broad chest, his knee wrapped in a brace.
Whipping your head back and forth, from Seungcheol eyeing the ball, to the team, then you, he shouted a name that made your blood run cold.
“Hansol!”
Every bone in your body went stiff, every muscle froze. Neck nearly breaking, you plastered your eyes onto the boy standing behind first base and your coffee cup almost slipped from your trembling fingers.
You could’ve been sick. You wanted to be sick.
Months. It’d been months.
Months of distraction, months of trying to make him go away, months of squeezing him and pushing him down into a feeling you’d only allow yourself to feel between the hours of one and three in the morning if you were any sort of sober. Even drunk, he was there, a ghost haunting your memory of what could’ve been, what you had and what you left behind. He stood here now, five foot ten, a little scrawny, a little pale. Those brown waves, they were just how you left them, fluffy, soft, inviting. His eyes, chocolate and sweet, were on you, he was looking at you, not through you, not around you, at you.
And it hurt.
Every feeling manifested into a stomach ache, a nausea so debilitating that only he would know what to do about it, like he’s done for you so many times before. The amount of times he’s held your hair, that he’s pulled it back for you. So many nights at Nasara, when he was allowed to, he would get you into your bed and make sure you’d fall asleep on your side, telling Ryujin that if either of you needed anything she could call him. He’d try to not let you drink too much, but when he couldn’t keep up with the way you’d bounce around the house he’d appear with a cup full of water and wouldn’t leave you alone until you finished it. 
He’d bring you to Blend, he’d buy you a coffee, he’d offer you breakfast, and if you refused he’d offer his shoulder and he’d let you talk. And not once would he interrupt, he’d only look away to sip his coffee, reminding you to drink some of yours between the stories you had to tell.
You’d follow him along to his practices, one of the only ones to sit in the stands, or behind home plate when he’d bat or train with his coaches gearing him up for this very moment.
When the hell did he get called up?
When the hell did the Lions get him?
Why the fuck is this the first you’re hearing of it, seeing it?
He missed the ball. It fell a few feet behind him. His teammates shouted for him, they tried to get his attention, so many shouts of a name so foreign to you only because you knew it wasn’t his favorite. He was stuck, much like you, with a thousand things to say splayed out between the two of you.
Vernon.
He was here, in Haos, playing on the same team as your brother. 
On the same team as your boyfriend. 
Holy shit, Mingyu was your boyfriend.
Mingyu was your boyfriend, words you chose to say on the same day the boy you had fallen in too far deep with appears on his baseball team.
“Hansol!”
Finally his gaze of disbelief was ripped from you, having you loose a breath you were holding. Murmurs of his voice, nothing more than a hum hit you where you were standing, a sound so incredibly comforting it had tears welling up in your eyes. You’re sure it was pleading, and apologies, and excuses for missing the easiest play for a first baseman.
He hurried toward Seungcheol and the coach, as did the team, and you hightailed it off the field while no one's eyes were on you, hurried for the closest bathroom and hid yourself in a stall, collapsing to the floor with rushed breaths, willing your heart to calm down.
Tumblr media
home;run masterlist | talk to me | ao3
Tumblr media
you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.
101 notes · View notes
softonshanks · 2 days ago
Text
Drunk in love
Characters: Sanji x Female Reader; Law x Female Reader
Plot: this one was a request from the sweet and loving @potatoleon who asks: I was thinking about confessing love accidentally under the influence of alcohol 😅 The crew had a party, and the reader (I was thinking that, like in the first story with Sanji, the reader would be taller) was taking care of (separately) Sanji and Law because they drank too much (she could help them get to bed, carry them, or something similar). In the morning, they realized what they had said, and a bit panicked, they went to talk to the reader 🥹
Author's note: I have changed a few thing, but here I am! I will post also in the next few days a similar version but with Shanks in it. I hope you enjoy this one in the mean time, feels nice to be back (: ______
Law x Female reader
Tumblr media
The island was buzzing with activity as the Heart Pirates gathered supplies for their journey. The sky was bright, the air warm, and the locals welcoming. Trafalgar Law watched his crew move about the market, gathering provisions and making deals with the locals.
Law lingered by a stall, his arms crossed as he kept an eye on the crew, but his attention kept drifting elsewhere. More specifically, to Y/N, who was standing by a fruit vendor, laughing with a stranger. The sunlight seemed to make her glow even brighter, her small frame practically vibrating with joy as she animatedly spoke.
He gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest. It was ridiculous to feel this way, he told himself. Jealousy wasn’t something he entertained. It wasn’t logical, and it certainly wasn’t becoming of a captain. Besides, Y/N was always bright and friendly with everyone—it was just her nature.
But no matter how much he tried to rationalize it, the sight of her laughing and chatting so easily with another man irritated him more than it should. Law shoved his hands into his pockets, frowning deeply. I’m being stupid, he thought. I don’t need… I don’t need this. I don’t need her…
The rest of the day was a blur of activity, but Law found it impossible to get Y/N out of his mind. He avoided her when they returned to the ship, hoping the distance would help him calm down. But as night fell and the crew gathered on the deck to celebrate their successful trip with drinks and laughter, he found himself once again gravitating toward her.
He never drank with the crew. As a doctor, he knew the effects alcohol had on the body, and he wasn’t interested in clouding his mind. But tonight, with Y/N’s laughter floating through the air and the memory of that stupid stranger still stuck in his head, Law found himself reaching for a drink.
At first, he tried to pace himself, telling himself he would have just one. But one turned into two, and two turned into far too many. By the time the celebration was winding down, Law was more than a little drunk, the usual sharpness in his gaze softened into a hazy blur.
Y/N noticed him slouched against the ship’s railing, his face flushed and his eyes half-lidded. She blinked in surprise—Law never drank, let alone drank this much. Concerned, she made her way over to him, crouching down beside him.
“Captain,” she said gently, her voice tinged with amusement. “You’re not looking too good.”
Law grunted in response, but when he looked up at her, his gaze softened. “Y/N…” he muttered, his voice slurred. “Why are you always so… so bright?”
She chuckled and placed a hand on his arm. “Come on, let’s get you to bed before you embarrass yourself.”
He allowed her to help him up, though his legs wobbled beneath him. As they made their way to his quarters, he kept muttering under his breath, something about how she was too kind, too joyful, too everything.
By the time they reached his room, he was leaning heavily against her, his head drooping forward. Y/N helped him inside, guiding him to his bed with surprising strength for someone so much smaller than him.
“You didn’t have to drink so much, Captain,” she said with a smile as she eased him down onto the bed. “I know how I always said I love drinking and that I’d fall for someone who could keep up with me, but you really didn’t need to drink this much just to impress me. You do that well enough already.”
Law blinked up at her, his mind slow to process her words. “I… I love you,” he mumbled, the words spilling out before he could stop them.
Law’s eyelids felt impossibly heavy, and his thoughts floated hazily as Y/N tucked him into bed. He blinked up at her, the words slipping out before he even realized he’d spoken them.
“I really do love you,” he mumbled again, his voice soft and slurred.
For a moment, silence hung in the air. Y/N’s breath hitched, her eyes widening as she looked down at him in surprise. “Don’t… don’t fool with me,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I’ve suffered long enough, Law.”
He blinked again, clearly registering her disbelief even through his drunken haze. His brows furrowed, and he clumsily reached for her hand, his grip loose but warm. “Y/N, I… I’m not fooling,” he murmured. “You… you’re all I think about.”
She pulled her hand away gently, her heart aching even as she forced a small, sad smile. “You’re drunk, Captain,” she said softly, almost as if to remind herself. “We’ll talk about this in the morning.”
Law mumbled something incoherent, his eyes slipping closed, though his hold on her hand lingered until he finally fell asleep. Y/N brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead and sighed, the soft pang of unfulfilled hope weighing on her heart.
Law woke up with a pounding headache and the faintest memory of Y/N’s hand in his. He groaned, pulling the pillow over his face as he tried to recall what had happened the night before. But his mind was blank, the details lost in a fog of alcohol.
Just then, there was a soft knock at his door. Law stiffened, heart pounding as he heard Y/N’s familiar voice. “Captain? Can I come in?”
He forced himself to sit up, tossing the pillow aside as he rubbed his temples. “Y-yeah, come in.”
Y/N stepped inside, carrying a glass of water and painkillers. She set them on the table beside him and took a seat at the edge of his bed, looking at him with an expression he couldn’t quite read.
“So… about last night,” she began, her voice hesitant.
Law’s stomach twisted, his mind racing as he tried to remember what he might’ve said. “Did… did I do something?”
Y/N looked down, wringing her hands. “You… you told me you loved me,” she said quietly, her voice laced with uncertainty. “But it’s okay, it’ nothing, really — you were so drunk I honestly didn’t thought you’d be already awake”.
His eyes widened, the memory coming back to him in pieces. He swallowed hard, his heart pounding. “I… I wasn’t drunk”. Y/n raised an eyebrow. “I mean… I was drunk, but I wasn’t lying,” he said, his voice soft but steady. “I just… I’m not great at this. I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself. But it’s true.”
She glanced up at him, her eyes wary, searching his face for any sign of deception. “Law,” she murmured, almost pleading. “Please don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
“I do mean it,” he insisted, reaching for her hand. “I just… I was scared. I thought I didn’t need anyone. But you…” He took a shaky breath, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “You make me feel things I thought I’d never feel.”
Y/N’s lips parted, her eyes filling with tears she tried to blink away. “You really mean that?”
Law nodded, a faint, earnest smile crossing his face. “Yeah. I want to try, if you’ll give me a chance.”
After a long moment, Y/N’s face softened, a warm smile breaking through. She squeezed his hand, the hope and happiness finally finding their way to her heart.
“I’ll give you a chance,” she said softly, her voice barely a whisper. “But only if you promise to stop doing stupid things to impress me.”
He chuckled, his smile widening. “Deal.”
They sat there, hands entwined, each finally letting down their guard to embrace the warmth and love they’d both been too afraid to accept.
Sanji x Female Reader
Tumblr media
The kitchen of the Thousand Sunny was bathed in the soft glow of evening light as Sanji carefully mixed ingredients, his fingers moving with precision as he crafted his latest creation. He glanced up every now and then, anticipation bubbling in his chest. He had planned this evening carefully—just the two of them. 
He thought no one could be worst that Luffy, but then Y/N joined the crew. She was a regular in the kitchen, always pestering him for a taste of whatever he was cooking, sneaking up behind him and making him startle, as she was a bit taller than him. Sanji didn’t mind; in fact, he lived for these moments when they’d flirt back and forth, her teasing laced with laughter, his words full of admiration. But tonight was different.
Tonight, he had a plan, one he hoped would finally let him express more than just his usual banter. He knew Y/N liked alcohol—maybe a little more than it was wise—so he had been working on some new cocktails just for her. Tonight, he’d invite her to try them out. It was the perfect excuse to spend time together, alone.
“Sanji!” 
Her voice echoed through the ship before she appeared at the kitchen door, all long legs and that unmistakable grin. She ducked slightly as she entered, though her height still made her tower over him. It wasn’t something that usually fazed him, but sometimes—like now—it made his heart beat just a little faster.
“What’s cookin’, chef?” Y/N asked, her voice teasing as she leaned against the counter, already eyeing the bottles of liquor he had arranged.
“I’ve been working on some new cocktails,” Sanji said, smoothing his hair nervously. “Thought you might like to be the first to try them.”
“Cocktails, huh? This better not be one of your plans to charm me with fancy drinks and compliments.”
Sanji smirked, playing along. “Who, me? I’d never.”
Y/N laughed, her eyes sparkling. “Well, you’ve got my attention. Let’s see what you’ve got, Romeo.”
Sanji’s heart swelled as he poured the first drink, a vibrant mix of citrus and rum. Y/N took a sip, eyes widening with approval.
“Oh, this is good!” she said, grinning. “I knew you had skills, but this… this is special.”
Sanji felt a rush of pride, his confidence rising. “I’m glad you like it. There’s more where that came from.”
They moved through a second drink, then a third, while snacking on some little appetizers Sanji had previously cooked, hoping it would help him to stay sober. Y/N, with her usual easygoing nature, was still perfectly composed, sipping with the practiced ease of someone who could handle their liquor. Sanji, however, wasn’t faring as well. By the time he finished his third drink, the world was spinning slightly, and he couldn’t quite focus on Y/N’s face anymore.
She noticed. 
“Sanji…” Y/N chuckled, taking his glass from him. “You’re looking a little… unsteady there.”
Sanji waved his hand, trying to appear composed, though his speech was already a little slurred. “I’m fine! Perfectly… fine.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh.”
Then, in a moment of drunken clarity, Sanji blurted out, “I did this… for you.”
Y/N blinked. “What?”
“The drinks! I—I wanted to impress you. I thought… maybe if we drank together, I could flirt with you a little more, and you’d…” He trailed off, his cheeks flushing red as he realized what he’d just admitted.
Y/N’s laughter rang out, full of warmth. “You’re adorable, you know that?”
Sanji groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I wasn’t trying to be adorable.”
“Well, too late. You are.”
She set her drink down and moved closer to him, bending down slightly to meet his eyes. “You didn’t need to make me fancy drinks to impress me, Sanji. I already like you.”
His heart stumbled over itself. “You… you do?”
“Mhm.” Y/N leaned in, her lips brushing his cheek, and Sanji’s brain short-circuited. 
Then, before he could respond, she kissed him, soft and teasing, just enough to make his heart race. When she pulled back, he was speechless, his face burning hotter than his stove.
But then, the alcohol really hit, and he swayed on his feet, his vision going blurry. Y/N caught him before he could fall.
“Alright, Romeo,” she said with a laugh. “Time to get you to bed.”
Sanji tried to protest, but his words were incoherent as she helped him stumble down the hall to his cabin. He collapsed onto his bed with a groan, and Y/N knelt beside him, brushing the hair from his face.
“You really overdid it,” she teased, pulling the blanket over him. 
He grabbed her hand, his eyes half-lidded but serious. “Don’t go.”
Y/N smiled softly and sat down beside him on the bed. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Sanji drifted off into a deep sleep, her hand still in his.
---
When he woke the next morning, the light pouring through the window made him wince. His head pounded, and for a moment, he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. But then he noticed Y/N, lying beside him, her arm draped casually over his chest.
Panic set in.
“What—what happened?” Sanji whispered to himself, his face turning beet red as memories from the night before rushed back.
Y/N stirred beside him, stretching before she opened her eyes. “Morning, Sanji,” she said, her voice still sleepy but full of amusement.
Sanji sat up quickly, flustered. “Why are you— did we—?”
She grinned, enjoying his discomfort. “Relax. Nothing happened. You got drunk, confessed you were trying to impress me, and then I kissed you.”
His mouth fell open. “Y-you kissed me?”
“Yep.” She sat up, looking way too comfortable for someone who had just dropped that bomb. “And then you passed out, so I put you to bed.”
Sanji ran a hand through his hair, his mind racing. “And you stayed?”
“I didn’t want to leave you alone in case you needed anything,” Y/N said, then leaned over to kiss him again, her lips soft and lingering this time. “Also, because I like you. A lot.”
Sanji blinked, completely stunned. “I—wait—what?”
Y/N laughed softly, cupping his face. “I fancy you, Sanji. No need to impress me.”
Sanji felt like his heart was about to explode. “I—really like you too, Y/N,” he stammered, his usual charm completely failing him in the face of her confession.
“Good,” she whispered, kissing him once more before pulling back with a smile. “Now, how about you cook me some breakfast? And maybe no more cocktails for you.”
Sanji chuckled nervously, still dazed but happier than he’d ever been. “Yeah… no more cocktails.”
85 notes · View notes
sasheemo · 2 days ago
Text
When we collide
Chapter 4
Tumblr media
Read on AO3
Fic masterlist
Chapter Summary: Unexpected vulnerabilities and glimpses of hidden struggles are unveiled. But as defenses rise and words cut deep, the moment is fractured, leaving Agatha and Y/N to confront unresolved emotions alone. Back at home, tensions only deepen.
Word Count: 2.9k
Agatha’s eyes fix on the ground, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns in the dirt as she collects her thoughts. “It’s … my mother” she begins, each word dropping heavily, like stones tossed into a deep well. “She… she expects a lot from me.”
You stay quiet, watching her carefully, patiently waiting for her to keep going as if any movement or sound could rip the moment apart.
Agatha sighs, frustration clouding her face “It’s like no matter what I do, it’s never enough. Ultimately, I always do something wrong, some unforgivable mistake that makes me unworthy of her legacy. It’s … it’s … it’s exhausting.”
You feel an unexpected twinge of empathy, the weight of those expectations all too familiar. “So that’s why you… reacted like that?” you ask softly, choosing your words with care, as to not startle her. 
Agatha’s tone sharpens, but something fragile lingers beneath “I was… tired. Tired of always being under her scrutiny, tired of feeling like I’m never good enough.”
You study her, take in her words, trying to gauge how much more she is willing to reveal. 
And then she speaks again, almost startling you. “I’m supposed to be Agatha Harkness” she says, voice laced with sarcasm “powerful and poised, the daughter of the great Evanora Harkness” she sweeps her arms out in a mocking, theatrical gesture, her lips curling into a bitter smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. Then, her expression falters and her voice drops to a murmur “But here …” her gaze lowers, arms falling back to her sides, her voice barely audible now. “Here, I was just … broken. Powerless”.
An unexpected protectiveness stirs within you and the words easily come out “You’re not broken, Agatha. Sometimes… it’s all just too much.”
Her eyes flash with something unguarded—is it … gratitude? “You make it sound so simple” she scoffs bitterly, “But it’s not. Not when your are constantly being told, reminded, that you’re failing to live up to some impossible standards someone else set for you.”
You fight back the urge to share how much you relate to her words, choosing to let Agatha have her moment. Right now, you just want her to keep going, to talk to you. “Maybe you should tell her that” you suggest, your tone gentle but firm. “Your Mother, maybe she needs to hear it.”
Agatha’s laughter is hollow. “Right, because that’s how these things work. I’ll just sit down for tea with her and be like, ‘Hey, Mother, can we have a chat about your impossible expectations?’”
“Why not?” you counter, your voice calm and steady as you try to hold back a smirk at her sarcasm. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“She’d probably just sl- laugh in my face and remind me what failure of a daughter and witch I am” Agatha replies, her voice trembling with suppressed emotion.
You meet her gaze, determined not to back down. “Why do you let her get to you? You can choose not to let her opinions define you.”
And with your words lingering in the air, an unbidden thought strikes ‘you are such a hypocrite, is that what you do when it comes to your own mother? You, giving mother-daughter relationship advice … really?!’. Your own voice is so loud in your head, but you are quick to push it aside, determined to keep your focus on the conversation and on Agatha.
Agatha scoffs shaking her head “And you think that’s easy? Maybe for someone who hasn’t spent their life under the weight of someone else’s expectations.” her tone is icy before she pauses, her eyes narrowing. “What would you even know about that?”
“Enough to know that resentment eats away at you” you shoot back, tension tightening around you. 
Agatha opens her mouth, then hesitates, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features. “So now you’re just the expert on my life, right?”. The moment the question hits your ears, you realize there’s something about the way her sass flares up, only to vanish just as quickly, that’s starting to grow on you—for reasons you can’t quite explain.
“No” you say evenly “but I’m trying to understand. You act like you don’t care, but tearing up half the forest isn’t exactly indifference, is it?”
Agatha rolls her eyes “Oh, aren’t you insightful?” she shoots back, sarcasm dripping from every wordy. “What’s next, are you going to solve all of my life’s problems with your little spells and the power of nature?” she raises her hand, fingers flicking in exaggerated waves as if she’s casting a spell in mockery of your abilities. 
When her teasing is met by your silence and unimpressed face, Agatha’s hand drops. She shifts on her spot and slightly away form you, her walls slamming back into place. “What makes you think I need your help? I don’t want you to understand me” Agatha snaps. Yet, her bravado feels thin, barely masking the vulnerability underneath. “And I don’t need you to either. I don’t know you and you don’t know me and things don’t need to change just because yester-”
“Maybe I’m starting to see you” you interject, your voice low but firm. “And maybe … that scares you.”
Agatha’s expression darkens, and you can see the inner conflict waging war once again within her. “What do you even want from me?” she asks, her tone suddenly softer, almost pleading. “Do you want me to apologize? To grovel at your feet? Because I’m not going to do that.”
Your scoff immediately fills the air “I don’t want any of that.” you say, meeting her gaze with unwavering determination … before it falters. “I-I just want to listen, to help you” the words escape your lips before you even realize it but, weirdly enough, you feel no urge to take them back.
It’s Agatha’s turn to scoff, crossing her arms tightly over her chest as if trying to shield herself from your words. “You really think you can break through, don’t you? You think you can just stroll in and make it all better?” she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “What’s in it for you, anyway?” her eyes narrow, a twisted smirk curving her lips as she tilts her head, examining you “Or do you just get off on trying to ‘help’ people?” she sneers. “Is this your idea of fun, finding broken souls to patch up?”
The words hit you like a slap, and you feel a surge of irritation rising in your chest. It’s not like that… is it? You’re not even sure why you’re here, why you feel this strange pull toward Agatha’s pain, her defenses, and her sharp sarcasm. But her accusation stings, and for a second, you’re at a loss, unable to find a response that doesn’t sound defensive. You press your lips together, trying to ignore the way her gaze feels like it’s cutting straight through you, exposing motives you hadn’t even figured out yourself.
You just… sit there, quietly, as the silence between you grows stifling and almost suffocating, locking you both into this strange standoff. Then, Agatha finally looks away, her smirk of satisfaction fading quickly to your own surprise. 
You study her face for a few more seconds before letting your gaze drift away. For an instant, you can feel how her words are suspended in the air, mingling with the wisps of smoke from the dying fire. Enveloped in that same air, Agatha can feel the weight of what she said, its sharpness. A flicker of uncertainty crosses her face, giving way to something heavier, the realization that her words likely reached a part of you she hadn’t entirely meant to wound.
A hint of regret seeps in, unexpected and unwelcome, but undeniable. Her fingers find a loose twig on the ground, and she twists it absently, a distraction from the unfamiliar pang of guilt settling in her chest. 
The two of you remain like this, silently lost in thought and unwilling to meet each other’s gaze, as time stretches on indefinitely. Finally, as if needing to fill the silence pressing down on her, Agatha breaks it, her voice edged with frustration “It’s just… I don’t know why I’m even talking to you about this.” she mutters.“This whole conversation is ridiculous. I should be studying, or practicing my spells, or… I don’t know, anything else! Not sitting here talking to you, of all people.”
At the sound of her voice, you turn your gaze back to her, noticing how she is yet again tracing aimless patterns in the dirt, this time with the twig. Her eyes are fixed downward, still avoiding yours. “Maybe you needed to get it off your chest” you reply calmly. Only then does Agatha’s hand still, her gaze lifting until her eyes meet yours, something flickering within them as if your words have caught her off guard, as if she was expecting you to reply something else entirely. “Besides” you add “they say it’s easier to talk to someone you’re at odds with.”
“Right, because that’s totally sane” Agatha snaps, but her voice lacks its usual bite. “I’ve lost it, talking to my mother’s rival’s daughter. What’s next? Making each other flower crowns?”
You raise an eyebrow and take a breath, feeling the tension ease just a fraction. “We’re not so different, you know. We are both fighting to escape expectations that were never ours to begin with.”
“Great!” Agatha replies, giving a slow, exaggerated clap, the faintest hint of a reluctant smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Two broken souls bonding over the wreckage of their lives. Truly inspiring.”
“Better than being at each other’s throats” you shot back, your words almost a question, a small grin threatening to break through.
Agatha rolls her eyes, but you can see the corners of her mouth twitch again. “I suppose. Just don’t expect me to start writing poetry about my feelings anytime soon.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it” you reply, unable to suppress a chuckle.
But the lightness of the moment doesn’t last long. Agatha’s expression shifts back to something more guarded as she speaks “Look, just … I don’t want to be some sob story. I’ll handle my drama in my own way. I didn’t ask for this heart-to-heart.”
“Fair enough” you say, your voice steady. “Just know that you can talk to me if you ev-”
“Sure, I’ll just add it to my list of things I’d rather not do.” she cuts in, but there’s a flicker in her eyes—a glimmer of something like acknowledgment, maybe even appreciation.
This isn’t a resolution, but it’s a step. Toward what, you’re not entirely sure. The tension between you shifts slightly, softened by all the things left unsaid. You tell yourself it’s nothing significant, but somewhere, buried beneath your thoughts, lingers the sense that this might not be the last time you talk.
Agatha’s voice pierces through the silence, her expression serious “It doesn’t make sense, does it? And yet here we are.”
“Yeah” you murmur, letting the strange truth settle between you. “It’s ridiculous, we’re practically rivals.”
“Practically?” she scoffs, though the tension in her voice hints at something different, an understanding just beneath the surface. “I’d say we’re already well past that point.”
“Fine, we’re rivals.” you say, and you can almost taste the faint hesitation on your tongue. “But… do you even know why?” you can’t help but ask, the question just hanging there, almost rhetorical. “I mean, it’s just… always been that way, hasn’t it? Like, it was handed down to us and … we went along with it?”
Agatha’s eyebrows shoot up in amusement at your questions, her expression shifts slightly as she considers your words. But her tone suddenly hardens “You think that just because we’re sitting here, chatting about my emotional breakdown or whatever, that we’re best friends now? That’s not how it works and you know it.”
Agatha’s words settle heavily in the air, cold and dismissive, pressing against you like an invisible wall. Whatever momentary connection you thought you’d glimpsed now feels fractured. For a brief second, you almost want to reply, to push back, but a strange resignation settles over you instead. You can’t shake the feeling of foolishness creeping in, a nagging sense that this whole morning was just a waste of time. Why did you even bother? What were you even expecting?
You force yourself to nod, as if conceding. “Right. Like you said, that’s not how it works.”, but the words taste empty. You exhale sharply before standing up, glancing back at her one last time “Goodbye, Agatha.” you say, your voice steady and calm, deliberate. You hold her gaze for a moment longer than necessary, as if silently making it clear that you won’t be the one left vulnerable. Then, without waiting for a response, you turn and walk away, letting the muted sounds of the forest close in around you.
Agatha doesn’t move for a long time, her gaze trained on the fading embers. The ashes lift and drift in the breeze, remnants of something heavy and unresolved, scattered too easily, just like the semblance of a connection that had briefly flared between you. She watches as the ashes dissolve into the air, a reminder that what’s been reduced to ashes rarely returns to what it once was. The weight of the moment clings to her, an odd pang she doesn’t fully understand. It presses against her usual defenses, almost like regret, not that she’d never admit it.
As she sits there, the faint rustle of underbrush draws her attention. She looks up, noticing a rabbit moving toward her with a cautious, uneven gait. Her brow furrows slightly as she watches it come closer, each hesitant hop tugging at an unspoken guilt she doesn’t want to acknowledge. Only when it pauses just a step from her crossed legs does she feel the certainty settle. A quiet, undeniable recognition that this is indeed the same rabbit that had fallen victim to her anger the day before.
Instinctively, she raises a hand to shoo it away, irritation flashing across her face. “Get lost.” she mutters, her voice sharper than she intends, her fingers flicking in a dismissive wave. But the rabbit doesn’t retreat. It stands its ground, then hops closer, pausing in front of her with a quiet insistence. She watches it, her irritation softening as it sits there.
With a sigh, Agatha relents, lowering her hand until her fingers barely graze the rabbit’s fur. The warmth of its small body surprises her, grounding her in the quiet solitude of the forest. Guilt and tenderness flicker in equal measure as she absently strokes its fur. “I’m sorry.” she whispers, barely recognizing her own voice as a single tear trails down her cheek. The rabbit hops into her lap, then settles in, curling up as if it belongs there, its small body calm against her. For the first time in a long while, Agatha allows herself a moment of quiet reflection, feeling the weight of emotions she can’t fully name.
The stillness of the forest fades as you cross through your garden and step into the walls of your home. Before you can even close the door, your mother’s voice pierces the silence, her tone laced with its usual mix of mockery and disapproval. “Back already?” she sneers, her gaze scanning you as if searching for signs of trouble. “You usually haunt the woods till dusk, and here you are, so early.”
You suppress an eye roll, your patience already strained “Not much going on out there.” you reply coolly, moving past her toward the stairs, hoping to avoid the inevitable lecture. But her voice follows you, sharp and cutting.
“Not causing trouble, I hope? I’d hate to hear of another mess like yesterday’s. Evanora doesn’t need any more reasons to question our family’s… stability.” Her words are thinly veiled, the accusation hovering in the air between you.
You take a slow breath, fighting the urge to snap back. “No troubles and no messes, Mother.” you say dismissively, willing your voice to remain steady.
As you place a foot on the stairs, your mother’s voice sharpens again, keeping you rooted to the spot. “And don’t think you’ll be skipping Evanora’s gathering this afternoon. She’s called on every one of us to further discuss this hunter situation and possibly put together some kind of patrol group. And you will be there. I won’t have you embarrassing me by staying behind.”
You pause, frustration simmering beneath the surface. “And if I don’t want to go?”
Her smile is as cold as her tone “Then I suggest you finally master that invisibility spell. But since I doubt that’ll happen anytime soon, you’ll attend. Just like the rest of us.”
You feel her gaze on your back as you ascend the stairs, her words echoing after you with their customary bite. In the silence of your room, you find yourself looking out the window, the image of Agatha sitting cross-legged by the smoldering ambers lingering at the edges of your thoughts. You brush it away, frustrated at yourself for even allowing it to linger.
And then, as you sit in the quiet of your room, a sudden thought hits you, sharp and unwelcome. Of course, Agatha will be there this afternoon. You almost laugh at the bitter irony, escaping the forest and that exhausting conversation, only to be thrown back into her presence. It feels as if the universe itself is playing some twisted joke, forcing you back into her orbit before her words have even had the chance to fade. Normally, neither of you would spare the other a glance, content to keep a safe distance in the silent rivalry that’s defined you both for years. Today won’t be any different. Nothing has really changed, you tell yourself. 
80 notes · View notes
snowysosturn · 3 days ago
Text
Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 9
Tumblr media
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9
Pairing : Y/n x Chris Sturniolo
Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?
Warnings : MDNI, mentions of drugs, mentions of selling drugs, angst, cursing
I couldn’t stop thinking about last night. Every second of the argument with Chris replayed in my head like scenes from a movie that I’d seen too many times. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get any sleep. The raw frustration, the sting of betrayal.. it was all still fresh, replaying each time I closed my eyes. By morning, I hadn’t come to any conclusions. I just felt exhausted, angry, and desperate for someone to tell me how to handle it. It felt too big, too complex to just shove down or forget. As soon as it was an acceptable time, I texted Willow. She was the only person I could talk to about this.  Even if she didn’t fully understand, I needed her perspective, her advice – anything to help me make sense of what I’d just found out about Chris.
When I arrived at her apartment, she was already waiting at the door, practically pulling me inside. Willow had always been the friend who listened first, asked questions second, and reserved judgement until all the cards were on the table. It was why I knew she’d hear me out, even if this whole situation sounded insane and it made it easier that she already knew the situation.
“You look like you haven’t slept” she said, scanning my face as she shut the door behind us.
“Because I haven’t.” I forced a small laugh, but even I could tell how hollow it sounded. I followed her into the living room, sinking into the couch and pulling my knees up to my chest. She settled beside me, looking at me with genuine concern. 
“Sorry about just leaving you behind last night, that was a bit shitty of me.” I said apologetically.
“No, don't worry about it, I would be the same.. Plus I may or may have not brought Nate back here last night.” Willow said with a dirty smirk on her face.
“What?!” My face dropped in shock.
“I mean I always knew he was rough around the edges anyway so I expected him to be wrapped but in something.. But I had fun the first time, I wanted to do it again” She responds giving me a side smirk. “But anyway that’s besides the point, spill. What happened when Chris went after you?”
I took a deep breath, trying to figure out where to start. “We had a huge argument..I.. I just don’t know what to do about Chris. I went straight home after, but it’s like I can’t get it out of my head.” I sighed, rubbing my temples, trying to ease the tension building up. “He told me he’s involved with the Crimson Cartel, Willow. Like, actually involved. He said he got pulled into it because of Nate and his family.”
Willow’s eyes widened slightly, but she didn’t look as shocked as I thought she would. “Whoa. That’s.. heavy” she said slowly. “But, I mean, we’ve known Chris for a bit now. He’s always seemed cool, especially with you. He’s not hurting anyone, right?”
I felt my chest tighten at her words. “No, but.. he deals, Willow. He’s actually in a gang. This isn’t just some bad habit or weird side job, he’s in deep. And he told me that’s why he disappeared from my life years ago. He didn’t want to drag me into it, so he just left. And then, seeing me again, he said it felt like a sign.”
Willow leaned back, her brow furrowing as she absorbed what I’d told her. “Okay, but maybe we’re blowing this out of proportion. I mean, think about it. You said yourself that he doesn’t hurt people, and he seems to really care about you. It’s not that big of a deal, right?”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “Willow, it is a big deal. We weren’t raised to think this kind of thing is normal or okay. He’s wrapped up in something that could put him – and everyone around him –in serious danger. It’s not as simple as just brushing it off because he’s nice to me.”
She shrugged, giving me a small, sympathetic smile. “Maybe. But he’s still Chris. I mean, he’s not out there starting fights or doing anything extreme, right? He’s just selling. And lowkey the bad boy image is kinda hot..” She raised her eyebrows, giving me a playful nudge.
I tried to smile back, but it felt forced. “It’s not just about his image, though. It’s about what it all represents. I mean.. what if he gets caught up in something? ” My voice grew quieter as I spoke, and I found myself staring at the floor, lost in thought. “
Willow was quiet for a moment, her face thoughtful. “I get it. It’s complicated. But he’s obviously got feelings for you, Y/n. I mean, you don’t throw out that kind of confession if you’re not serious about someone. And maybe he’s right, maybe seeing you again is a sign.” She shrugged. “You could always see if he’d try to get out. It might be a long shot, but.. maybe he’d consider it if he knew it was that important to you.”
I shook my head, feeling a wave of frustration and sadness wash over me. “It’s not that simple, though. He made it clear last night that this isn’t just something you can leave behind.”
Willow watched me carefully, her expression softening. “Look, Y/n, I get that you’re scared. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s not just going to throw that away. Maybe he’ll surprise you. Maybe he’ll find a way to make it work.” She paused, glancing at me with a small smile. “Just.. take it one day at a time. You don’t have to figure everything out right now.”
I sighed, leaning back against the couch as I mulled over her words. A part of me wanted to believe that maybe, somehow, things could work out. But the other part of me knew that Chris’s world was dark, dangerous, and unpredictable. It wasn’t the life I wanted, and it definitely wasn’t the life I’d ever imagined for myself.
“So, you’re saying I should just.. wait and see what happens?” I asked, my voice uncertain.
She nodded slowly. “Kind of. I’m just saying that maybe it’s not as clear cut as you think. You don’t have to make a decision right this second. Talk to him again. See if he’s willing to try and distance himself from it, if that’s what you want.”
I rubbed my face with my hands, feeling the weight of everything hitting me. “I don’t even know if that’s possible. He told me about Nate’s cousin, Danny, and how he basically dragged Chris into the cartel. He made it sound like there’s no way out, and.. I don’t know, Willow. I don’t know if I can just sit around and hope he’ll somehow find a way to leave.”
Willow reached over and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “I get it. But just think about it, okay? Chris isn’t the kind of guy who’d put you in danger on purpose. I’ve seen the way he is around you, he’s protective. Maybe he’ll come up with a plan, but I think he’s worth giving it a shot. You deserve to be happy, Y/n.”
Her words hit me harder than I expected, and I felt a lump forming in my throat. I wanted so badly for things to be different, to go back to how it felt when Chris and I reconnected, before I knew what was really going on. But now, I couldn’t ignore the reality of who he was and the risks that came with being with him.
We sat in silence for a while, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Finally, Willow spoke up, her voice gentle. “Look, I know this isn’t how you pictured things turning out with him. But maybe there’s a reason he’s back in your life. Maybe you’re supposed to help each other, or.. I don’t know. Maybe this is a chance for both of you to figure things out together.”
Her words stirred something inside me – a faint glimmer of hope, buried beneath all the fear and doubt. Maybe she was right. Maybe Chris and I were meant to be in each other’s lives, even if it was messy and complicated. But I knew it wouldn’t be easy, and there were no guarantees that things would work out the way I wanted.
“Thanks, Willow” I said softly, giving her a small smile. “I don’t know if I’m ready to make a decision just yet, but.. I’ll think about it.”
She nodded, her expression understanding. “Take all the time you need. And whatever you decide, just know I’m here for you, no matter what.”
As I left her apartment, I couldn’t shake the conversation from my mind. I was still conflicted, still unsure of what to do. But talking to Willow had given me some clarity, even if it was only a small step toward figuring out the mess that was my relationship with Chris.
The day dragged on, and I found myself going through the motions, unable to fully focus on anything. Chris had told me that seeing me again felt like a sign, like something had pulled us back together for a reason. But as much as I wanted to believe that, I couldn’t ignore the risks and the dangers that came with being with him.
That evening, I sat alone in my room, staring at my phone, my finger hovering over his contact. Part of me wanted to call him, to try and work things out, but another part of me was terrified of what that conversation would lead to. Could I really ask him to walk away from everything he’d been pulled into? Could I be with him, knowing what I knew now?
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my thoughts. Maybe Willow was right—maybe I didn’t need to have all the answers right now. But one thing was clear: if I wanted to be with Chris, I’d have to face the reality of who he was and what his world entailed. And if he was willing to try and find a way out, maybe, just maybe, there was hope for us.
My fingers still hovered over Chris’s name, and I felt my stomach twist with a mix of nerves and longing. Despite everything, part of me wanted to see him, to hear his side again, even if it meant facing the harsh reality of his world.
Finally, I typed out a message:
"Hey, I’d like to talk. Can we meet up?"
I hit send before I could overthink it, watching as the text delivered. My heart pounded as I waited, the seconds dragging out painfully, until my phone vibrated with his response.
"Of course. I can come pick you up if you like?”
The tension in my chest loosened a little, and I felt a strange sense of relief. Whatever happened next, I knew I’d at least have the chance to speak with him, to see if there was any path forward for us.
After agreeing, I put my phone down, staring out the window as the sky began to darken, a mix of excitement and dread settling over me. I didn’t know how the conversation would go or what it might mean for us, but for now, I was willing to take that chance, to let myself hope, even if just a little, that there was still something worth saving between us.
a/n : everything seems calm... for now
taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @bernardsbunny @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg @matts-girlfriend @lvrsturniolo
64 notes · View notes
daisymbin · 1 day ago
Text
a little push - joshua hong
warnings: none except a tipsy joshua
pairings: joshua hong x reader
genre: drunken confession, friends to ???
wc: 1.3k
drunken confessions series
check out my masterlist!
the house party was buzzing with energy, laughter echoing in every corner. colorful lights flickered in sync with the music, casting a warm glow over the crowd. you weaved through groups of friends, feeling the infectious excitement in the air. but as you glanced around, your gaze landed on joshua, who was slumped in a quieter area, looking troubled. his usually bright demeanor was overshadowed by a cloud of concern as he stared into his drink.
something in your chest tightened at the sight of him like that. you had known joshua long enough to recognize when he was putting on a brave face. with a sense of determination, you made your way over, weaving through the dancing bodies until you reached him.
“hey buddy, what’s wrong?” you asked, kneeling beside him, hoping to break through whatever was weighing him down.
he squinted up at you, his expression a mix of confusion and sadness. “oh, hey… um. i’m not sure we’ve met,” he said, his voice slightly slurred.
“it’s okay,” you replied, forcing a smile despite the sudden pit in your stomach, you found him adorable, so you played along. “i just saw you looking a bit down and wanted to check in.”
“thanks, but it’s just… complicated.” he sighed, rubbing his forehead as if trying to erase the thoughts swirling in his mind. “don't tell anyone but i think…no im sure.. im sure i’m in love with my best friend, and it’s driving me crazy i dont know what to do.”
your heart raced at his confession, but you kept your expression neutral. you had always known he had strong feelings for someone, the boys always joked about it in front of you but even as his best friend, joshua was tight lipped, never telling you who it was, but hearing it out loud now especially from him hit differently. “really? that sounds tough. what’s stopping you from telling her?”
he leaned back, his hesitation palpable. “i don’t know. it’s risky. what if it ruins our friendship? what if she doesn’t feel the same? or worse, what if she’s in love with someone else?” he looked away, clearly grappling with the weight of his emotions.
you shifted a bit closer, sensing the turmoil within him. “those are valid concerns,” you said gently. “but keeping it to yourself can be just as risky. you might be missing out on something amazing.”
he let out a soft chuckle, tinged with bitterness. “yeah, maybe. but it’s easier to stay quiet than to take the chance and get hurt.”
“true,” you acknowledged. “but if you really care about her, wouldn’t you rather know the truth? it could be worth it.”
joshua looked at you, his brow furrowing as he considered your words. “i just wish i knew how she felt. it would make things so much easier.”
“maybe you could start by showing her how much she means to you,” you suggested, your heart racing as you spoke. “small gestures, spending more time together. see how she reacts. you seem like a great guy, im sure she feels the same about you.”
he nodded slowly, a flicker of hope in his eyes. “that makes sense. but still, what if she doesn’t reciprocate? what if it ruins everything?”
you took a moment to think, searching for the right words. “if she doesn’t, at least you’ll know where you stand,” you encouraged softly. “but you won’t know unless you take that step. living in uncertainty can be harder than facing the truth, no matter what it is.”
joshua sighed, the tension in his shoulders easing a little. “i guess you’re right. it’s better than just sitting around, worrying.”
there was a moment of silence between you, and you could see him weighing his options, his mind racing with possibilities. you could tell he was still hesitant, reluctant to fully open up to a stranger, even one who was clearly trying to help.
“you’re really insightful for someone i just met,” he said, a hint of admiration in his voice. “it’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t directly involved.”
“i’m glad,” you said, feeling a little bittersweet knowing he still didn’t recognize you as his best friend. “just be brave. you’ve got this.”
he hesitated again, his expression contemplative. “it’s just… hard. what if i make everything awkward?”
“awkward moments can be part of growth,” you replied gently. “but they’re better than never trying at all.”
he took a deep breath, the weight of your conversation pressing on him. “you’re really pushing me to think about this, huh?”
“that’s the idea,” you said with a light laugh. “sometimes you need a little push to see things clearly.”
he looked at you, and for a brief moment, you felt the weight of the unspoken connection between you. but then he shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. “i should probably go. i need to sort through this.”
“of course,” you said, giving him a gentle nod. “whatever you decide, just make sure it’s what you truly want.”
as he stood up, ready to leave, he paused, looking back at you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. “you really are a great friend, you know that?”
“thanks, joshua. i’m just here to help,” you replied, a bittersweet smile on your face.
he nodded, the gratitude in his eyes apparent. “i appreciate it. really. i’ll… i’ll think about what you said.”
as he walked away, you couldn’t shake the feeling of longing in your chest. the party continued to pulse around you, but all you could think about was the possibilities ahead. would he take your advice? would he confess his feelings? you hoped he would, and that he would realize it was you he was meant to be with.
after a while, you found a spot on the couch, allowing yourself to relax a bit, but your mind was still racing. moments later, your phone buzzed in your pocket. you pulled it out to see a message from joshua. your heart skipped a beat as you opened it.
joshuji 🐰:
[02:47 AM] hey bunny, can we talk? well maybe tomorrow over lunch? I'm kinda hammered right now. but I've kinda been thinking about us a lot lately..I just…have something i need to get off my chest..
your breath caught in your throat as you read the message. you felt a wave of disbelief mixed with overwhelming happiness after all that hesitation in person.
of course, lunch at our favourite place?
you hit send, your heart pounding in your chest. moments felt like hours as you waited for his reply even as you were glancing over to him across the room. finally, your phone buzzed again.
joshuji 🐰:
[02:53 AM] yeah that would be nice. also, i really miss you. if its not too late, could you come pick me up?
you smiled as you read his message, the tension that had been building inside of you for so long finally releasing.
“hey handsome,” you said as you walked up to him, “you ready to go?” you don't think you've smiled this big in such a long time. “y/n! I missed you.” he said happily as he pulled you in closer for a hug, not caring that he was still sitting and you were standing. his head rested comfortably just below your chest as your hands come up, one against his cheek and the other patting his head gently as you played with his hair.
“you all good?” you asked yet again, “never been better. it feels so nice being so close to you. you're so warm.” he answers as he holds you impossible tighter. “come on, let's get you home, hm?”
“just 5 more minutes. let's just stay like this for 5 more minutes. I'm too comfortable. & I like having you close to me like this.” you wonder if this is him letting his feelings slip but you dont question it. despite the room full of people, you don't seem to notice anyone else & neither does he. “me too joshua, I like having you close to me like this.”
52 notes · View notes
dragonfly0808 · 2 days ago
Text
Tecna: The Thesis
This one has been a long time coming I know
First Things First
The first words I have for Tecna in my character profiles are tech nerd child, but she has so much more depth than that, even more than I’d ever originally planned
One of the things I really wanted to get across with Tecna is that is not and has never been an ice queen or unfeeling or cold, just bad with communication and her way of showing affection is atypical
While writing s1, I wrote her as autistic coded but was very hesitant to confirm her as autistic since I really did not want to accidentally write her autistic traits in an offensive or just misrepresentative way, but, after seeing my portrayl of her landed well with a lot of commenters who were part of the autistic community, I decided to do my research and properly commit to portraying her as autistic (whilst of course, never making it her full personality, just a part of who she is)
To me, Tecna is one of the most compelling characters to write, since she has a huge heart and holds a lot of love for her family and the Winx and, over the course of the seasons, we see her get better at communicating that whilst never forcing herself to conform or change to do it the ‘normal’ way
Family Matters
Aside from Riven, I think Tecna is the one who benefited the most from the changes I made to her family
I gave her a big sister and a little brother as well as loving parents who raised them all in a farm on the domestic side of Zenith, that focuses on farming and crops
After I committed to writing Tecna as autistic, I chose to portray nearly her entire family as neurodivergent, her dad is autistic and has ADHD, her mom has dyspraxia, her brother has ADHA as well as dyspraxia, her big sister being the only neurotypical one
The reason for this was because i wanted to portray her parents as always has taking Tecna’s needs/triggers into account and accommodate for all of their childrens needs and never try to change who they are; this is why from the get go, Tecna is unapologetic about who she is and what she needs, having never once been taught or pushed to mask.
Tecna in the OG always had a sense of absolute confidence and in my mind, giving her an understanding family who always embraced her as she was would be a great way of explaining why that is.
Also, I just really wanted to give her a loving, fluffy family since so many other families in the rewrite have issues and problems
SPOILERS FROM HERE FOR SEASON 3, THE OMEGA ARC AND SEASON 4 PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP!!!
A Frozen Loss
Now, from the moment I knew I was going to rewrite s3, I knew the Omega Arc was going to be one of the hardest and angstiest to write
i feel like both in the OG and in the fandom, Tecna can often be underrated and underused and I wanted to take the chance to show why I love this character so much and how she is an integral part of the group and there is no Winx without Tecna
In a sense, yes, Tecna is the brains of the group, she is the strategist and the one who comes up with a 27 step plan and the tech genius. But she is also the glue. She’s probably one of the most loved characters in the group, every single one of the girls and the boys have a very special and unique bond with Tecna, partially because of her odd way of showing affection and love
When Tecna cares about someone, she shows it even if she doesn’t always know how to say it, everyone knows it and loves her for it.
The Omega Arc also gave me a chance to show how resilient and smart Tecna is. Like I mentioned, she’s a strategist and a chronic overthinker and our girl doesn’t know how to back down, she’s determined and a survivor.
After the Omega Arc; surviving by herself for a week in a hostile planet and losing both her right leg and left hand, there is of course a huge shift in her character.
I chose to have her lose limbs to fully push how traumatic and life-changing the Omega Arc is not just to Tecna, but to all the Winx. After Omega, Tecna becomes a bit more comfortable with physical contact and starts to question her priorities and what she wants with her life… which leads us to-
Potential Can be Suffocating
One thing I thought I could do with Tecna was to have her shift her priorities when it comes to her plans for the future, going from being determined to be a buisness woman to realizing that she, while she still wants to be successful, it’s no longer all she wants
I think we all know how damaging hustle culture can be sometimes and, to incorporate smth a bit more personal, as someone who was always seen as ‘the smart one’/‘the one who’s gonna maintain us’ in the family amongst the cousins, I’ve felt the looming pressure of being the one in the family with the most ‘potential’. And as I’ve grown up, I’ve kinda realized that I don’t really want to throw myself into being solely dedicated to becoming this big buisness person like- obviously I want to be successful and be able to provide for myself, but I also want to have time for my writing and my family and myself, and I wanted to give this same kind of quiet realization to Tecna
For Tecna, it’s herself who puts on this pressure since, as a little girl she started seeing the modern side of Zenith as ‘superior’ in her mind and really wanted to leave the farm life to become exclusively focused on buisness, but as she grows up and, especially after Omega, she realized she wants to stay close to home and wants a quieter life, she still wants to be successful and to change the world, but it’s not all she wants anymore
Not sure if I explained that last point as well as I wanted to.
Thoughts Behind Her Main Relationships
Tecna
I love Tecna and Musa, they are very much a friendship between unconventional girls who don’t always come across as they mean to.
They both struggle to make friends for different reasons but the second they meet they realize that they are quite similar and so never push each other outside of their comfort zone at first and that’s what allows them to become close enough to then push one another.
Musa gets what makes Tecna tick and makes sure that she’s comfortable, she makes sure she gets her alone time and makes sure she doesn’t get overwhelmed.
Tecna gets that Musa doesn’t want to talk about herself so instead gets her to open up about her music.
And it’s through this that they start to trust one another and by s2 we see them knowing each other well enough to keep the other from spiraling.
When Tecna’s confused about her feelings for Timmy, it’s Musa who reminds her that it’s okay to not be ready for a relationship. And when Musa and Riven first kiss, it’s Tecna who suggests they take it slow since she knows how skittish they can both be.
At this point, they push one another when they need to.
They are crucial to each other’s growth.
Timmy
Now, my darlings, my softies, my introverted nerdy lovers
I know a lot of you were like- what the fuck do you mean they’re still not dating? Towards the start of s4 but I really wanted them to actually take their time before getting together
Timmy has a crush on Tecna since s1 and it’s in s2 where Tecna falls for Timmy slowly but surely, being a bit confused about her feelings since this is the first time she’s ever fallen in love. They have a talk and decide that neither are really ready for a relationship, Tecna because she’s still learning to communicate and just doesn’t feel ready in general, Timmy due to his anxiety and desire to work on himself before trying for a relationship
Once the feelings are out in the open, they are a lot less shy about being affectionate towards each other, since they know they’re headed for a relationship someday.
After Omega, any subtlety goes out the window for a bit, but they still aren’t official since, they really just- they know what they feel and what they have, that’s enough for them throughout s3, especially with everything going on (the song Tell Em by Sabrina Carpenter I feel really encapsulates how they feel about having a concrete label)
But now in s4, they are finally going to be dating and… honestly not much will change. That’s what I love most about Tecna and Timmy, they’re best friends in love. They act like best friends… who ocasionaly kiss. Love it!
Nabu
Now, Tecna was the last Winx to get her platonic soulmate, and I really loved introducing Nabu into the story through Tecna
These two just click from the very start, they are both have quite cool and calm demeanors that hide the ocasional gremlin behavior beneath the surface
They are each other’s impulse control and they trade a singular brain cell back and forth (Tecna has it most of the time).
I’m not really sure how to describe their relationship since, there are just some people in life with whom you just click for absolutely no reason, they just make sense to you in a way that very few people do, these two click and just want to hang out and protect one another
Who is Tecna in this Rewrite?
In this rewrite, Tecna is a young girl who isn’t the best at communicating
She is a girl who slowly grows, not in the sense that she changes, but in the sense that she grows into herself, learning more about herself, slowly learning how to communicate her love and care
The only thing that truly shifts are her priorities as she realizes just how important her family and friends are to her and, whilst she is a very ambitious girl and that doesn’t change, instead it is re-directed into… I actually can’t quite say how it is re-directed quite yet since that won’t be revealed until a lot later on
But my fave way of describing Tecna is just a girl growing into herself, into her love, into her hobbies, into her ambitions and into a wonderful woman.
———————
Masterlist
Tecna Moodboard
Tecna’s Instagram
Tecna and Musa Moodboard
Tecna and Timmy Moodboard
Tecna and Nabu Moodboard
———————
I know this one has been a long time coming, I apologize for the delay I just could not for the life of me put this into words, but here it is!!!
37 notes · View notes
flightfoot · 2 days ago
Note
any recs for fics with blood and/or violence?
Huh, yeah those aren't super common for Miraculous. I've still got some stuff for you though! As per usual, I'm sticking to completed stories.
---
Symbiotic Whiskers by B1ackout
Adrien Agreste aka Cat Noir was given the cat ring miraculous to help Ladybug in protecting Paris. But something had found him first, a silent companion that granted him strength and power he never knew existed. Bonded with a symbiote, Cat Noir faces Paris alongside Ladybug without even knowing that someone left a magical ring in his room. (Canon Divergence)
This is a phenomenal fic that deserves more attention. It's kind of funny how he just goes "hey I've got superpowers, she says that the thing we have that gives superpowers is called the Black Cat Miraculous and that the being that gives them is called a kwami, obviously that must be what I have!" though that gets stretched more and more as Adrien's experiences with the symbiote contradict what he's heard about how kwamis work, and Tikki gets increasingly worried about "Plagg's" weird behavior. It's a dark, somewhat brutal fic (people die permanently, and they're not always villains), and it's absolutely worth a read, this is an excellent crossover!
---
A Small but Stubborn Fire by @cardiac-agreste
What if you were the parent of a teenage superhero, but didn't know they were? All you know is the nightmares, the panic attacks, and the bruises. She's missing school, she's disappearing on you, and she's not telling you anything. So you assume the worst: Assault. Depression. A permanent rift in the family. And what do you do when you realize you weren't thinking dark enough? Because your fourteen-year old daughter is the hero who flirts with death on the nightly news. -- Come inside and read about one mother's struggles to raise her daughter in a dangerous world while avoiding the mistakes her own mother made with her.
This is a more serious take on the consequences of Hawk Moth's war on Paris, with actual bloody, painful deaths as a consequence of many akumas, and Parisians developing PTSD because of what they've gone through. Ladybug can fix all the physical scars, but not the mental ones, including her own.
I love the focus on Sabine here. She's not just presented as being a mom - though of course that IS an important role she has. But she's explored as a character in her own right, one with a lot of emotional baggage as a result of her abusive mother, and trying to not fall into her mistakes, but sometimes doing so anyway out of fear for Marinette's safety. She's a really fleshed out, humanly flawed character, sometimes admitting that she would do something selfish if it means protecting the people she cares most about, like her daughter, even if its at others expense. She grows and changes a lot throughout the course of the story, her perspective on many matters changing multiple times as a result of getting new information or seeing the consequences of her previous approaches, and adjusting as a result.
If you want a fic that more realistically explores the dark consequences of Miraculous's setting, that fleshes out Sabine, or just develops a character in a complex way, then I highly recommend you check "A Small but Stubborn Fire" out!
---
Made Miracles series by InkyIbis
A rewrite of Miraculous Ladybug (specifically with the miraculouses lore) with endgame Adrino! It mostly builds off the beginning canon and loosely off the later seasons with a lot more consequences than what the show has for when a magical terrorist shows up out of the blue. In that way, each book is considered like a season with the chapters being the episodes.
First fic in the series: Awaken
The previously white butterfly, now oozing black and purple as a conduit of the butterfly miraculous powers, flutters softly within the silvered-gloved hand. It sits there for a long time. "Go, my akuma," The soft sigh pushes the butterfly, the akuma, out towards the despair of a love not returned. The same ache within his chest. On a level so great that he's willing to sacrifice the city to mend it. It's okay if he's the villain for now. He'll force the miraculous of creation and destruction to be revealed, and once he gets his hands on them, none of this pain, none of his loss, will ever happen.
I put the first fic on my reclist for 2023, and now that the series is completed, I'm putting the whole thing on my reclist for 2024. If you want a rewrite of the series that gives Adrien top-billing, evens out Ladybug's and Chat Noir's power dynamic, is darker, and has Adrino as the main ship, then this series should be right up your alley.
---
the monster who loves you by @purplecatghostposts
Mum nods, clapping her hands together. “Your brother is finally feeling better and is coming home today! Isn’t that so exciting?” Félix pauses mid-bite, processing her words. Mum waits expectantly, as if expecting him to jump for joy, or his equivalent of it. But… Félix doesn’t have a brother. (Or Félix’s brother is a monster, but only in the most literal sense. Félix’s father is a monster despite being very, very human. He learns to navigate the world through these two truths.)
I loved how this story emphasized the differences between different kinds of monsters - the type who inhabit horror stories, who look terrifying, and the mundane, human sorts of monsters who are often the most dangerous. And how monsters can choose to act humanely, while humans can choose to act monstrously.
---
Finding A Way by @uptoolateart
Collège is nearly over! And what better way to celebrate than a class trip to Costa Rica? But with only a month left to tell Adrien she loves him, Marinette is feeling the pressure. Then – an accident at sea leaves them stranded together on a tropical island…alone. Or are they? Because those footprints in the sand don’t resemble any bird they’ve seen before. And what’s that roaring sound coming from the jungle? ‘Adrien…where ARE we??’ ***** A Jurassic Park / Camp Cretaceous AU that’s been kicking around in my head for over a year
I love the sense of danger permeating this fic, it really feels like Adrien and Marinette are stranded on Jurassic Park (well it's called something else in order to integrate it better into the ML universe, but it operates like Jurassic Park). They're making the best of it though, doing their best to survive - and along the way, getting closer together.
I like that it's not JUST them though, Gabriel and Nathalie find out where they ended up pretty early on and go to rescue them, with Alya and Nino stowing away. It was cool to see that side of things as well.
Oh yeah, this fic is rated M for violence and gore. It's because dinosaurs eat people alive and leave their body parts everywhere. If you can handle the Jurassic Park movie (or presumably the book the movie was based on, but I haven't read that), then you should be just fine.
---
one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus
All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.
Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.
Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.
This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.
It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.
It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.
---
Some Days by @merrygreenie
Some days are worse, and others are a little better, little by little and day by day. Marinette Dupain-Chen is learning how to live her new normal after living in confinement and being tortured by Hawkmoth. She is thankful to have her friends and family to support her. And a very special Chat who loves her very much. *This story contains scenes of violence and torture this is a whump fic*
---
A Major Test Of Strength by @nemaliwrites
There is only one thing in Paris hated as much as the akumas: Ladybug herself. In an effort to help the Savior of Paris, Adrien winds up on the wrong end of an akuma attack — only to find himself stuck reliving the same day. With enough time, anyone can be a hero, and as he continues dying over and over, he is forced to confront the idea that these loops may be just as much of a blessing as they are a curse.
This is loosely inspired by “All You Need Is Kill”, but no knowledge of that manga is needed to understand the story. There’s a bit of a mystery element going on as Adrien tries to figure out why he keeps dying even when he takes steps to prevent it, how he keeps coming back, and what the deal is with Ladybug, anyway.
---
The Most Dangerous Game by talik_sanis
Marinette never imagined that she would be in this position. It's not that all of her friends turned against her as Lila had assured her they would. Instead, she had turned against all of her so-called "friends." And now, she has to help Lila Rossi murder them.
The fact that I, of all people, would recommend a fic with a summary like this should tell you something... read to the end.
30 notes · View notes
katiemcgrathhh · 17 hours ago
Text
So after watching Agatha all along and just rewatching. Can we just talk about how much Rio LOVEDDD Agatha.
Like not even taking into account that she gave Nicky 6 years to live when he shouldn’t have even lived?? Or when he said “my mother needs me” not mama which he called Agatha. Or the fact that she basically just took the chance to destroy the imbalance of the universe just for her wife, my love, her m‘lady what ever you want to call them. Ex wives, ex-toxic lover (which is a whole different story) her savior ?!? If you read ff it’s a conclusion. To let her keep their son for as long as she could allow before taking him. The fact that she let Nicky say goodbye we all know HE KNEW it was his time and he was ready because he just knew his mother would take care of him.
Fast forward to the cat and mouse game they played, the hiding behind the darkhold, to the being stuck in the hex. In the first episode of Rio and Agatha meeting. You can just clearly see the way Rio is 1. Playing the role she has to for “Agnes” and 2. The way she responded to everything Agnes said. They way she clenched her jaw, her hands, her stuttered blinks. She knows this isn’t her Agatha but she loves her enough to play into it when even tho it’ll hurt her in the long run. She stayed off topics she KNEW weren’t approachable to save her love the confusion.
And when she got on the road. She tried to keep Agatha from another heartbreak. Agatha not letting her get close to rio and not wanting to leave behind that grief or even talking about it as a family. To her playing it off to the cons that Agatha pulled so Rio would have her bodies.
Rio saying she had the emotional scar because she had to take Nicky from them and she’s hurt the only person she ever allowed herself to love. Agatha.
She talked back to Evanora Harkness not just cause she hates ghost but just because it’s her wifes mother who hated her child.. Someone who treated her poorly. Rio wouldn’t stand for it. Their has to be history behind that.
To the betrayal of Agatha hiding Billy because to Agatha it was another Nicky situation even if she knew who he was. To Rio being betrayed because Agatha was purposely hiding him like she tried to do Nicky with all the witches Agatha killed back then. The fact that Agatha didn’t trust her. Or the fact that Rio knew that once again it was her purpose as death to do what she had to do and Agatha wouldn’t understand. No matter how many times she could say it.
The fact that when it all came around when Rio was screaming “why don’t you want me” because no matter what she did for Agatha. Agatha was driven by grief for their child. Their Nicky. It was way ultimately (I think) Agatha finally realized in that moment when teen said “is this what you did to Nicky” and she reached up for her necklace to to finally come to terms to realize it wasn’t Rio that took him on purpose. It wasn’t rios choice, it was just his time. His death. And who is death? Rio, his mother. Someone who also losses someone
Which led us to the kiss of death. Literally. But the fact that Rio loved Agatha so much and when she realized what it was she still gave all her love that she had for Agatha into that kiss. She wouldn’t let her wife go without letting her know how much she loved her and probably how much she’ll always love her. Heart fucking breaking.
24 notes · View notes
scarletwinterxx · 2 days ago
Text
good graces - hong joshua imagine
who else was smiling the entire time while watching Joshua bake cookies??? 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️ istg i cant stop smiling whenever i see him, especially when i see happy joshua🥺
so now we're here😊
for my other svt fics, check them here
if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(pics not mine, credits to rightful owner)
Tumblr media
It’s a rare occasion for you to be out and about after 7pm. You’re a homebody through and through, you like being at home and when the circumstances calls for it the latest you can stay out is 10pm. 
Joshua knows this so when you told him you were going out with your best friend, who also happens to be his best friend's fiance, he just told you to have fun and call him when he needs to come and pick you up. 
He’s the supportive type of boyfriend. Want to start a new hobby? He’ll be right beside you to join along. Want to stay at home all weekend? He’ll come and bring snacks. Want to wear something different for your date night? He’ll help you choose. He doesn’t care what type of clothes you want to wear, he’ll always say you look good in everything. If it’s cute, sexy, anything in between. Doesn’t matter if guys look your way, he can fight anyways. 
It’s been a couple hours since you left, the last text you sent him was an hour ago. A selfie with your best friend in the bathroom and a short message saying you’re kind of drunk now and he should come in an hour to pick you up. 
Now, an hour later he’s walking towards the bar you were at. He’s been waiting at the parking lot since you sent that picture, Seungcheol was also there waiting for his fiance.
He walks in right behind Seungcheol, the two of them quickly spotting their partners. Before he can come to you though, your best friend blocks him
“YAH HONG JOSHUA” 
“Hello to you too” Joshua laughs, clearly the two of you had fun tonight. Meanwhile Seunghceol stands on the side, watching the fun that’s about to unfold. 
“You better not make Y/N cry or else you have me to deal with, and Seungcheol but you should be scared of me mostly” she threatens Joshua, the two guys smiling. 
“I’ll make sure to stay in your good graces” he says. It’s nice to know you have a loyal friend who will pick your side no matter what, Joshua’s glad to know you have someone like that just like how his best friend's are to him. 
“Wouldn’t even dare to let one tear fall from her pretty eyes” Joshua adds, laying a hand on his chest
“Damn right, do you know how lucky you are huh? How many guys she rejected before you came. She won’t even glance their way, she would literally send them daggers through her stare” your bestfriend tells him. Poking his chest to put emphasis on her words.
And she’s speaking only facts. Before Joshua, you wouldn’t even give anyone a chance. There was a permanent scowl etched on your face whenever a guy even dares to come close. Even Cheol was intimidated by you when he first met you. But to Joshua  it’s kind of hard to believe when you never looked at him any other way than with loving eyes. 
Right from the very start, the moment you met you were smiling at him. The very reason he knew he was in deep with you. It was like a movie slowmo moment when you first smiled at him, he saw his whole future with you flash before his eyes. 
“Yeah, I’m one lucky guy” he breathes out, looking at where you were sitting
“Yeah you are, now go get your girl!” she pushes him towards you, completely oblivious to what was happening since you’re pretty drunk now. 
Seungcheol pats his bestiriend on the back while getting his fiance’s purse on the table, “I’ll take care of this one. We’ll go wait for you outside” 
Joshua nods, waving a quick bye to the couple before turning his attention to you. 
“Hey, baby. You had fun?”
“Shuji??? Oh my gosh you’re hereeee” you squeal, standing up from your seat to tackle him with a hug which he gladly returns. Smiling at the nickname you love calling him
“I missed you” he mumbles in your ear, earning a giggle from you
“Noooo, I missed you more. Did you read my mind, is that why you’re here?”
You clearly had too many drinks tonight, you always get so chatty when you had a drink or two. Joshua finds that habit cute. He gives your cheeks a pinch before getting your purse from you and slinging it on him, one arm around you to steady you. 
“Mhm, knew you needed me so here I am” he answers your question as he guides you towards the entrance. Making a quick stop by the bar to pay for your drinks tonight, he takes out his card and quickly pays before walking outside. 
His car is parked right beside Seungcheol’s. The other couple are still there waiting for the two of you. 
“See you made it out alive, these two definitely had fun” Cheol says, looking at his fiance who is now passed out on the passenger seat. 
“Yeah, well we should head home. You guys get home safe”
“You too, see you”
The two guys get in their cars and drive away. 
Joshua looks over the passenger seat, you have your eyes closed while your hands were clutching his’. Even in your sleep you won’t let go of him. 
Another drunk habit of yours. You also tend to be more clingy when you’re drunk and somehow even in this state you can always tell it’s your boyfriend’s hand you’re holding and not someone else’s. 
When the two of you arrive at his place, he parks the car before getting out first to help you. He unbuckles your seatbelt before putting one arm under your knees and the other behind your back to carry you inside. He carefully makes his way inside, helps you on the bed before getting a change of clothes for you and him, and also gets your make-up wipes from the bathroom. 
He quickly changes his clothes so he can help you and when he’s done, he goes back outside the bedroom to get you water and medicine for later. 
After all of that he gets under the covers beside you. Instantly you scout over his side, laying your head on his chest. 
“Hey baby, thank you” He hears you mumble, eyes still closed
“For what, my darling?”
“Just… everything” you felt his lips on top of your head before he speaks again
“That’s what I’m here for, my love. I’m glad you had fun tonight”
“We should go on a date tomorrow” your words were slurring now, he knows the exhuastion and sleepiness will soon take over but you’re fighting it so you can talk to him. His hand on your back drawing random patterns is making you more sleepy.
“Sure thing, let’s go to that pottery store that just opened. But for now you need to sleep, baby”
“But I want to talk to you, I missed you” he can picture the pout you have on right now, feeling you tuck yourself closer to him. Your head under his chin and your hand splayed across his chest
“I’m gonna be right here when you open your eyes, we can continue this talk tomorrow. For now let’s sleep, mhm? I’m not going anywhere I promise?”
“Promise you’ll be here?”
He chuckles, hugging you even closer until there’s not an inch of space between your bodies. “Promise I’ll say with you, forever and ever”
“Sounds good, goodnight” you yawn then it was quiet for a few seconds. He can feel you relax in his arms, finally drifting off to sleep. 
He gives you a kiss on the head one last time before he closes his eyes, but not before he tells you a quick “Goodnight to you too, my darling. I love you”
39 notes · View notes
waterdeep-weavemoss · 3 days ago
Text
Rain
'It's going to rain,' said Doe softly, stretching her legs slowly and wincing at the stiffness and slowly encroaching ache. 'I have been so desperate to just put all of this down. All the responsibility. I guess this is Ao telling me something.'
'Hmm. Well. If you won't listen to me...'
'Gale. C'mon.'
'I just want you to rest, Doe. Please.' Gale lowered his glasses, setting down his book- a complex academic text, the way he told it- and fixed her with a stern gaze. 'Gods above, woman. You can just rest. You can just exist. It's okay.'
'You don't understand,' she said, hobbling to the window to watch the stormclouds gather. 'Or maybe you do. I don't know. But I need to be useful, and needed, and wanted. I can't just stop.'
'My love,' he said softly, rising to his feet to slide his hands around her, pulling her back to his chest, his hands warm on her belly. 'You're always wanted. You don't need to be useful, or needed. I love you so much. I want you to take care of yourself.' He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 'It's a kind of self harm, you know. Just not stopping. You'll burn out and think you deserve it, and then what would I do?'
'I'm sorry,' she said. Her words had the weight of grief behind them.
'Cuddle with me. Let me hold you for as long as it takes for you to feel whole again.'
'I don't know if I ever will.'
'Then I'll hold you forever. C'mere.'
He picked her up as it began to rain, cradled her in his arms, solid and real, someone who wanted her, no matter what she was- hero or simply just a mortal living a life. He settled into his favourite chair- favourite because it allowed him to sink back and cradle her securely, stroking her hair or her spine or her face.
The rain fell hard in a soothing drum, hushing against the windows, darkening the tower and turning the harbour the grey of a dove's wing.
'I've got you,' he murmured into her hair. 'My beloved.'
Tags:
@bluerosetarot @dansnotavampire @further-than-forever
@forget-me-maybe @poetryvampire @sasha199 @wandawillow
@boufsy @owlseeyoulaterpal @lanafofana @amorgansgal
@aryancunin @miradelletarot @marlowethebard
@crimson-and-lavender @reeseykins @medra-gonbites
@roguishcat @weaverofnetheril @galedekarioswifey @hyperfixationstation128 @12thhouse-sun
@astarryvamp @feedthepheasants @dabigstinky @dreamingofthewild @ladyofcrowsandcoffee
@femmefuck @spooky-lil-bee
17 notes · View notes
priceofreedom · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
#Elmyra approving of Zack makes me so happy 😭 FF7 Rebirth 20 / ?
321 notes · View notes
itspileofgoodthings · 2 days ago
Text
i love my counselor because she refuses to pry. don’t even know if she knows that’s an option, I have so rarely met a person who stays so thoroughly in her lane.
#the thing about me is that I’m an open book with an expressive face. and also I keep a lot inside and refuse to speak on things#especially things that are bothering me#and that can be irresistible to some people who just want to dig into my soul#and it’s why I was afraid of counseling for so long. that someone would be like ‘what can we unearth in Maria’s psyche’#and she just doesn’t care/doesn’t try/is only going to take me at face value#so there is lots I don’t tell her/refuse to speak on. and you know what doesn’t it MATTER. because the point is not to push myself#to some arbitrary measure of absurd honesty/openness but to talk about stuff when/if it’s helpful#also a huge way she’s already helped me is she’s just like ‘girl you’re fine’#no but actually though. she’s always like ‘you sound like you’re thriving to me!’#and she’s also just like ‘you’re busy you have energy you have plans you make good eye contact you clearly have confidence’#with the underlying message being. the thing that’s hurting you the most is your own anxiety. which sounds obvious lol#but it is kind of the sheer act of worrying itself. the other stuff is (mostly) in order#and that has helped. she also has cured me of some wrong self/belief stuff.#like I was once like ‘I’m not organized! I make no plans!’ and she was like ‘your plans have plans what are you talking about’#she also said I was highly logical and analytical and didn’t act emotionally/from a place of emotion#and I was just like ‘pikachu face’ because one of my deepest beliefs was that I WAS an emotionally driven person#and she was like nope. you’re highly rational. I mean I took it as a compliment and loved to hear it#the problem with me is when the brain will simply spiral out of control and the details become monsters and I make things a big deal#I’m super good at that#anyway yeah just processing
16 notes · View notes
quietwingsinthesky · 9 months ago
Text
the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head
#i still find myself not caring if the metacrisis doctor couldnt use one. he can because i said so and because donna shouldn’t get amnesiaed#alone.#but anyway. even. its just something about like.#here is your best friend. the man who showed you how big the universe could be. its still him human or not. its still the doctor.#can’t call him that. have to watch your tongue always because no matter how familiar their faces are. these two people do not remember#everything you did together and never can. at least they still love each other. nothing could change that. that’s what matters. you steer#them into each other’s lives so carefully and watch to see if they’re going to get hurt. but they don’t. it’s okay.#and still. and still. you carry your best friend’s life. everything that he is. you can hold it in the palm of your hand. he gave it to you.#he entrusted it to you. well. that’s not entirely true. technically you volunteered. but how else could you say thank you.#you made your world so so small again. for him. larger than you would’ve been used to once but you know what galaxies feel like to fly#across. and now you’re stuck in time and space. this is for love too. this is for the life you hold in your hands.#or wear around your neck on a chain. and because you chose this. you can never see him again. or you see him every day and he doesn’t#recognize all of you.#that would make anyone desperate wouldn’t it? make you do something stupid. make you turn to someone you shouldn’t.#even makes bad choices when they are cornered. i think.#dw oc#the important bit is of course that the only way they can ever get rid of it is by their own choice. which they never would choose to do.#(because tentoo won’t take it back. he’s his own person. impressions of the doctor influencing him. but the part of him that is donna doing#so as well. a whole new person. who does not want her memories back and to be unmade.)#but the point is that the moment even takes it. they will never let it go. they will lose it. on painful occasion. but it always finds its#way back. depending on the context this presence and responsibility is either comforting in its constancy.#or. in a less kind world. a horrifying reminder of how far they have fallen from who they tried to be for him.
9 notes · View notes
sealeneee · 2 months ago
Text
siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
5 notes · View notes
countess-of-edessa · 9 months ago
Text
probably my least trad trait ever is how irrationally annoyed the idea of changing my name on marriage/giving my children someone else's name makes me
4 notes · View notes
sinner-as-saint · 2 months ago
Text
scary? my god, you're divine
Hitman/Mob!Bucky x Reader 
Run-through: Your marriage to Bucky Barnes was crucial in stopping the rivalry that had been getting rather violent recently between the two families. You agreed to it. But there was one little problem. Although people knew of Bucky as being a ruthless, fiercely loyal, and feared hitman, no one had ever seen his face. In the rare occasions when he’d been seen out during assignments, it was rumoured that he always wore some sort of mask which covered most of his face. So you ended up marrying a man, and had no idea what he looked like. But surely that wouldn’t be an issue. It’s not like his one touch would get you addicted. Who cared what he looked like? It’s not like you could grow to love someone like him anyway… right? 
Themes: arranged marriage, age gap (reader is in her mid twenties, bucky’s in his late thirties), mentions of violence and death, hitman!Bucky, smut, fluff, explicit language, virgin!reader, HEA
Tumblr media
Something woke you up in the middle of the night. 
And you’d been staring at the dark ceiling above your bed for the past few minutes now. What had woken you up? It could’ve been the strong winds hitting the large Georgian windows. Or perhaps it was the soft ticking of the nearby clock. Or maybe even the weight of all the incessant thoughts running through your head. 
Gods, you thought, what a day. 
It had started out like any other. Your father was pacing around, worried and barking orders on the phone, trying to find a way to put a stop to this chaos that was quickly forming into a full war between him and his number one rival. Small attacks had turned to frequent drive-bys, threats had turned into taking turns and blowing up each other’s warehouses and clubs. And it would only get worse and worse. 
But this morning, as he watched you come downstairs and into the dining room for breakfast, something in his eyes was different. And you could tell what was coming. You had been thinking about this for days. So when he sat you down and discussed how you could do your part in helping to put an end to all of this. 
“It’s only a matter of time before he sends his son, his favourite weapon after us all,” Your father sounded defeated. “And none of us would survive him. No one ever does. You know that.” 
You nodded, understanding what he meant. “I know.” 
The son of your father’s rival, Bucky Barnes, was a name which could make even powerful men like your father tremble in fear. He was like a ghost. No one ever saw him. No one knew what he looked like. Those who had seen him claimed that he always wore a muzzle-like mask to conceal his identity. He was known for being his father’s most prized weapon. They say he never misses, that his aim is and has always been as sure as Eros’ arrows. He was like an evil Cupid. 
“The marriage would only be on paper of course, you don’t have to live with him.” Your father explained, seeming desolated, “But you being married to him would make us family, and…” He trailed off, sighing. 
But you knew what he meant. Family meant everything in this society. If your family and the rival’s were joined to each other by marriage, all attacks would cease. Because keeping family safe was everyone’s number one priority, even in this line of work. 
So this was all up to you now. Your family’s safety, the safety of people who worked with and for your father, all the allies, and friends, and acquaintances. It was a heavy weight to carry. 
“I’ll do it.” 
Things happened so quickly after that. Phone calls were had, arrangements and deals were made, and by the afternoon, a sheet of paper was brought to you. That’s it. No groom, no fancy shit. Just a piece of paper on which Bucky Barnes had already signed. And with your signature added next to his, you two were now forever husband and wife by law. 
It was weird, being married to a man you had never seen before. He was just a name. Granted, a name with immense magnitude in the society, but still just a name. No face to go with it. 
By the evening, your things were packed. It was an order by your new husband. He wanted his new bride in his home, and things were so freshly mended that neither you nor your father wanted to argue. So Bucky sent cars and a bunch of his soldiers to escort you to his house. It was not unexpected that he was so absent from all this. Bucky Barnes had a reputation of living in the shadows. He was so rarely seen.
Bucky’s house was not too far from your family home. In fact, the closer you got to your new home, the more you realised that despite everything, you did not mind this as much as you thought you would. 
Your husband’s home was this stunning piece of architecture. A lavish Georgian-style mansion. Beige stone, carved details and mouldings around the many windows and main entrance. Dark shingles on the roof, well-manicured lawn, a long driveway giving it a sense of both elegance and exclusivity. The mansion sat on a beautiful, seemingly endless estate. Lush and green. It was a testament to the wealth and the power of its owner. 
You were politely led inside the home by one of the many staff members who took care of the house. And the interior was just as breathtaking. Luxurious, with the right amount of vintage accents. 
“We did what we could with the limited time we had to prepare a room for you.” The kind lady had said to you. She also mentioned that this room would be entirely yours. Bucky apparently had his own on the other side of the mansion. 
You murmured that it was alright, and when she finally showed you to the room they had ready for you, you were pleasantly impressed. The layout, the colour theme, the decor, all of it was to your liking. You even had a personal little balcony which looked over the endless green backyard. 
That night you dined alone, which was not a surprise. Everyone knew Bucky Barnes was a busy man, and he was apparently above trivial things like dining with his new wife. But the silence was welcomed. After dinner you found yourself back in your bedroom, and soon in bed with a book. 
Well, maybe this was your new life now. Grand mansion with an impressive library. Solo dinners and kind staff members. A giant, dreamy bedroom all for you. Dare you say, it wasn’t too bad. 
But here you were now, unable to fall back asleep after some mysterious thing woke you up. You sighed, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. You couldn’t even blame your new surroundings for your inability to sleep. Everything here was so quiet, and comfortable. Even this new bed felt like laying on the fluffiest cloud. Perhaps you could read some more–
You froze when you heard it. 
Someone breathing. Someone else’s breaths. A soft exhale, but it was enough to make your heart race in panic. It was the middle of the night. And there was someone in this dark room with you. 
Slowly, you tried to reach for the lamp on your bedside table to turn it on, but then you heard a voice say, “Don’t.” 
A smooth, relaxed, male voice. Sounding like it came from one corner of the room. It could only be one man, couldn’t it? 
“Bucky?” You questioned, for some reasons pulling the covers up to your chin as if he was not a man but a ghost. 
A pause, then he said, like he was gently teasing you, “Hello, wife. Can’t sleep?” 
You blinked a few times to adjust to the darkness better. You strained your eyes until you could see the silhouette of a man in the corner of the room. He was sitting in one of the sofas near the unlit fireplace, quiet, still like a marble statue. 
There was almost no light coming into the room. The thick curtains allowed very little moonlight in, and it was hard to see. But you couldn’t ignore that large silhouette now that you’d noticed him. Something near him was shiny, almost metal like, you couldn’t tell what it was. 
“Do you always lurk around in the shadows like a ghost?” You asked, wondering where the hell you found the confidence to talk to one of the finest hitmen like this. It’s not like he would shoot you if he didn’t like you. A small voice said. Would he? 
A chuckle. Deep, and careless. A boyish sound. 
“It’s my house,” He responded in that same gentle but teasing tone, “I lurk wherever I please.” 
Well, he did have a point there. 
“Well then,” You said in a casual tone, “If you’re done lurking and spying on me, I’d like to go back to bed.” 
A soft scoff. Then he said, “I’ve watched you toss and turn for the past half an hour. I’d say you’re having trouble turning your brain off.” 
Half an hour?! 
“Wouldn’t you?” You retorted, keeping your voice calm and steady. “If you were forced to marry someone who’s so mysterious that no one’s ever seen them before, wouldn’t you have some trouble turning your brain off?” 
“Ah.” He got up, and you could tell by the sound of his footsteps that he was approaching the bed, “No one forced you to marry me. A suggestion was made and you agreed to it.” 
You replied quickly, “The alternative was watching everyone I love and myself be murdered by you, so semantics.” 
Another chuckle as he stopped at the edge of the bed, so close to you. You refused to move. You tilted your head up but could still only see his silhouette. He spoke in that teasing tone again, “They said you were smart, and beautiful. Guess they forgot to mention you were bratty too.” 
You frowned. “What?” 
Silence. Then he began moving away from your bed and towards the door. “Good night, wife.” 
“Good night,” You muttered, slightly annoyed and confused, “Ghost.” 
You heard his soft chuckle right as he shut the door behind him and left you all alone again in the dark. You didn’t dare turn the lamp on even after he left. 
— 
“Is Bucky ever home?” 
You asked one of the staff members at breakfast the next morning. The lady smiled at you and answered, “He keeps to himself. We rarely ever know if he’s home or not. He works at odd hours, you see? Besides, our job is to take care of the house. We clean, we make the meals and leave them in the fridge, we get our paychecks each month. Everyone is happy. We don’t pry.” 
You nodded, sipping on some tea. “So… are you one of the people who don’t know what he looks like?” 
“Oh no. I saw him recently.” She said, smiling. 
“How recent?” You asked. 
“A couple of months ago. He’s a busy man, he’s rarely ever home.” 
Unbelievable. 
“Doesn’t it feel like you’re employed by a ghost?” 
She smiled again, refilled your cup and said, “Oh, we’re used to Mr. Barnes. Sure, sometimes it feels like the house is way too empty. But look, now you’re here! We get to take proper care of someone for once.” 
She was so cheery and kind that you couldn’t help but smile at her words. How on earth did a man that grim manage to have the best staff members in the whole world? 
— 
The following night, Bucky came to see you again. 
You woke up upon hearing the door of your bedroom opening. You sat up again, leaning against the headboard. You didn’t reach for the lamp on your bedside table this time. Instead you said, “Lurking again, I see.” 
“Oh yes,” He answered, taking a seat on the same sofa by the dark fireplace. “How was your day, wife?” He asked, as if this was the most normal way to have a conversation. 
“Good.” You said, “I spoke with your staff members. They say they barely ever see you at home.” 
He sighed, “I barely ever am at home.” 
You rolled your eyes even though you knew he couldn’t see it. He was too… intangible. Faceless. There was nothing you knew about him aside from his profession. And not knowing was starting to annoy you. 
“Why can’t I see you?” You asked. “I mean it’s not fair. I married you. I’ll eventually see you someday.” 
He was silent for a moment. Then asked, “Will you?” 
“Well, yes.” 
“What for?” There was that teasing tone again. So subtle. But it was there. 
Your face burned. “Well… we’re married.” You stated the obvious. “And it won’t be long till our families start asking for, you know, grandbabies.” 
“Babies can be made in the dark.” His smooth voice felt like a gentle caress. Like the finest, cool silk sliding over your warm body… 
Oh no. You can’t like his voice. Not yet. 
“That’s not what I–,” You sighed, “Why are you so against showing your face? Are you ugly?” 
He chuckled then. Loudly, if you could see him you’d surely see his shoulders shaking. “You think too much, wife.” He got up again, ready to leave. “Good night.” 
You sighed, defeated, and listened to the sounds of him leaving the room. Then almost angrily whispered, “Good night, husband.” 
“It’s because he’s ugly, isn’t it?” You asked two of the staff members one morning while they set the table for your breakfast. “That’s why he doesn’t show his face?” 
The two ladies chuckled to themselves, and one of them said, “No he isn’t.” She sounded confident too. 
“Have you seen his face? Like properly?” 
They both nodded. 
“And? You don’t find it weird that he doesn’t show his face?” You questioned. “He refuses to let me see him. He only comes to talk to me in the dark. Like some messed up Eros.” You whispered the last part to yourself. 
One of the ladies said, gently, “Give him time. He’s not… terrible.” 
— 
“Your staff speaks highly of you.” You said to him when he came to see you that night. Again, sat in that corner like a ghost whose only purpose was to haunt your bedroom specifically. 
“Do they?” 
“Yes,” You made yourself comfortable, leaning against the headboard like you had the habit of doing. “Do you pay them to sing your praises?” 
He chuckled. “Is it that hard to believe that I’m not some sort of monster?” 
You sighed. “If not then why can’t I see you?” 
“Not yet.” He said. 
“Why?” 
“Because I said so.” He replied, and by the sounds of it, he stood up. Surely ready to leave. “Now, is there anything you need?” 
You tried to see if you could tell where he was standing but the room was too dark. However, it seemed like, judging by the sound of footsteps, that he’d gotten closer to the end of your bed. “There’s nothing to do around the house. The ladies take care of everything. I appreciate the library, but…” 
He was quiet, like he was thinking. Then said, “I’ll see to it.” 
“I’m assuming you won’t let me go back to work in my family’s companies.” You could tell he wouldn’t. 
“No,” He said, as expected. “You’re my wife now. I’m well equipped to provide for you and see to your needs for the rest of our lives. But if you have any hobbies, please, indulge away.” 
Something about his calm tone made you confess your little secret, “I like to paint. I’ve always wanted to be an artist.” 
You didn’t know why you were telling him all this. Perhaps the dark helped you open up better. Maybe the fact that you didn’t know him made it easier to talk. Like how people tend to prefer texting over calls. Him being so invisible made it so much more effortless. 
You continued, “I always wonder what it must be like to have an exhibition of my works.” You chuckled. “I know it sounds vain but… I’ve always wanted to let my mind and soul leak all over canvases, and share it with the world. I think it’s such a brave thing when people do that.” 
He was quiet for a few seconds, then spoke in that teasing tone, “Painting, huh?” 
You rolled your eyes. “You don’t get to make fun of me, ghost.” 
He chuckled. “Get some sleep, wife.” 
And then he left. 
— 
The following morning, you woke up to two surprises. 
The first one was waiting for you at the breakfast table. You noticed the box on the floor immediately. It was partially opened, and had a note stuck to it. 
The note read: ‘Since there’s nothing to do around the house…’ written in a messy handwriting. Surely Bucky’s. 
You opened the box and in there, on a folded blanket, was a sleeping, fluffy little puppy. A black lab it seemed. With a pink collar around her neck. You gasped as you gently picked it up and couldn’t resist bringing it up to your face. Puppies always smelt so good. 
The little one yawned and let out some cute noises as you held her up to look at her properly. By now the two ladies whom you saw frequently around the house walked up to you and one of them said, “He left something else for you.” 
You followed the ladies, new puppy in hand, and they led you to what seemed like a newly built studio. It was in an area of the mansion where you didn’t go very often. And as you walked in, you gasped in surprise for the second time that morning. 
It was located on the ground floor. A bright and spacious space. The beige walls felt like a giant blank canvas in itself. The large Georgian windows allowed the perfect amount of light in. And everything in the room was neatly organised. Art supplies, paints, canvases, palettes, easels. 
Oh, it was perfect. 
The ladies left you to explore on your own, saying something about bringing you breakfast in here. But you were distracted by the bright yellow sticky note on one of the easels. You walked up to it and it read: ‘For your mind and soul to leak all over. Paint me something. I’ll consider it a wedding gift.’ 
You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you read and re-read the note left by your mysterious husband. You whispered to your sleeping puppy, “Maybe our ghost isn’t so bad, huh?” 
-
Hours went by. 
The ladies brought you and the puppy your meals, a bed for the pup, snacks for you, all while you were busy letting your creativity flow as much as possible. 
The first few canvases were horrible according to you. You hadn’t picked up a paintbrush in so long so it felt like day one all over again. But gradually, over the next few canvases, you could see what your brain was trying to create. 
The blank canvas soon turned into flowy shapes. Curves, facial features, hands. Entwining bodies. Two of them. And the colour purple, lots of it. It didn’t make too much sense at first, but the more you worked on it the more you realised what you were painting. 
It was your version of ‘The Abduction of Psyche’. How fitting. 
By the time you were done and happy with it, your back was aching from sitting on that stool all day. It was almost time for dinner. The sun had set. The puppy was awake so you held her up to show her the canvas and asked, “You think our ghost will like it?” 
She let out the tiniest, softest howl. 
“Yeah, I think so too.” 
You left to shower and have dinner. Then once it was time for bed you asked one of the staff members, “Does Bucky have some kind of an office?” 
She replied saying yes he does, and that she could show you where it was. You grabbed the not yet dry canvas and carefully carried it all the way to where Bucky’s office was. The lady again left you all by yourself to explore. 
At first you didn’t want to spend too much time in there. It was Bucky’s space after all. But then you thought, if he was comfortable walking into your bedroom at odd times during the night, why shouldn’t you check out his office? 
So you did. You left the canvas where it could dry without any problem and where Bucky would see it upon entering the room. Then you began exploring. The room was not what you were expecting for someone like Bucky. You thought it would be less… old school. 
He had a vintage looking typewriter on his desk for gods’ sake. Not one he used of course, but it added layers to his character you thought. Dark wooden furniture, comfortable looking chairs, more bookshelves filled with cloth-bound books. It was… cosy. 
So cosy in fact that you grabbed a book and made yourself comfortable on one of the chairs. You’d read for an hour or so then head off to bed, you thought. 
But soon, you drifted off to sleep. Right there. In Bucky’s office. 
-
You woke up and felt something soft and fluffy moving around on your lap. You opened your eyes and quickly realised you weren’t in bed. The room was dark. With very little light coming in from the outside. There were no curtains in this room, but also it was situated in an area of the mansion where very little moonlight came in.
Before you could panic though, a voice spoke up from not too far away, “You’ve been busy today, I see.” 
Ah, Bucky. And fuck. You’d fallen asleep in his office. 
You refused to feel embarrassed. So you asked, “Did you like your wedding gift?” 
“Yes.” He replied, and gauging by the sound you could tell he was sitting at his desk, in the darkest corner of the room. “I’ll hang it in my office.” 
You smiled in the dark, feeling a little proud of yourself. “And where’s my wedding gift?” 
“In your lap.” 
Fair. 
“What should we name her?” You asked, reaching to caress your puppy who let out an adorable grunt. “Hedone? Donnie, for short?” 
He let out a chuckle. “You are really leaning into this whole Eros-Psyche thing, huh?” 
You shrugged. “Well, I wouldn’t have to if you’d just show me your face. But you keep choosing not to, so deal with it.” 
A pause. Then he asked, “You like your new studio?” 
That made you sit up straighter. “I love it. Thank you.” Then you added, “My family always thought painting was a waste of time. They said it kept my head in the clouds too much. That it was… pointless.” 
He was quick to say, “It’s not. Besides, your hobbies don’t have to make sense to anyone else but yourself. And I’ve seen the other canvases you left in the studio. They’re good.” 
You turned to face the dark corner he was in. “You think?” 
“Yes,” He said. “We can hold an exhibition if you want. Let me know when you’re ready.” 
You let out a surprised chuckle. And when he didn’t laugh you realised he was serious. “Bucky, it's not so easy.” You explained calmly. “There’s so much work that goes into it, there needs to be some cohesion to the art pieces. There’s marketing, there’s research, there’s…” You exhaled, “There’s a lot of work to be done. Art exhibitions aren’t as easy or quick as you think it is.” 
He replied, “Leave all that to me. Just let me know when you want to hold one.” 
Just like that? 
“I… okay.” 
You felt warm in a way you’d never felt before. No one had ever taken your interests so seriously before. You’d never even been able to discuss this freely about your hobbies. And here Bucky was, ready to listen and interact with it. 
You got up to leave because this was… a lot to process. “Well then. Good night, Bucky.” 
A soft scoff. “Think I liked it more when you called me a ghost.” 
You smiled as you approached the door, puppy in hand and amazed at how well you were able to navigate in the dark. “Night, ghost.” 
He gave you a satisfied hum, then, “Good night, wife.” 
— 
It was bizarre to admit but you’d gotten used to those conversations in the dark with your husband. Days went by quickly given how engrossed you were with painting. Especially with the thought of a potential exhibition now in the back of your mind. Gods, that would be a dream. 
And while your days consisted of painting, playing and training your puppy, exploring more and more of the grounds and your new home, making quick trips to the stores to get more supplies, catching up with your friends who were still trying to grasp the fact that you got married so quickly, getting to know the household staff and the guards better, your night consisted of waiting and fighting your sleep until Bucky came to talk to you. 
It was always short conversations. Filled with easy banter and teasing tones, sarcastic comments and you asking each and every night if he was in the mood to show his face. Bucky always said no. And you always sent him off with a ‘good night, ghost’. 
You had gotten used to your ghost. As had your puppy. She would bark happily each time Bucky would enter your bedroom door at night. She’d run to him for playtime and cuddles as he sat in his dark corner and spoke with you until you fell asleep. 
Bucky would often leave you some kind of a note, for you to read in the morning. At the breakfast table, or in your studio. Sometimes he would leave compliments and comments on your dry canvases. Eventually, you stopped fighting the smiles which formed on your face as you read his notes. 
But all of it only made you want to see him more. Not that it would change anything. Bucky had quickly become… a friend, you’d say. A confidant if you will. He had become a habit. Part of your routine. 
And then one night, he didn’t come to see you. 
You waited. He usually came around midnight. It was well past 2 a.m. and he never came. 
At some point you went downstairs, pretending as if you just needed some water. One of the guards caught you trying to peek out into the driveway from the kitchen window. 
“Boss is not home yet, ma’am.” He said. 
You acted like you didn’t care. But still asked, “He does this often?” 
“Sometimes.” 
You nodded. You took your drink and with your puppy in your arms you walked back upstairs, passing by the many guards who were on duty inside the house at nighttime. 
“It’s alright, he’s probably just busy.” You whispered to the sleeping pup as you made your way up. “Or maybe he’s hurt and tending to his wounds somewhere else.” You felt a gentle pinch in your chest at the thought of Bucky hurt and alone out there. So you forced yourself to think of something else. Something way worse. “Or maybe he’s with someone else.” You scoffed, nuzzling the soft fur of your pup, “This marriage means nothing to him anyway. But that’s alright, we don’t need him. I’ve got you. We’ve got each other. Don’t we?” 
Safe to say, you went to bed slightly annoyed that night. And in denial too because you refused to admit that you missed him. 
– 
There was a note waiting for you in your studio the next morning. 
It read: ‘No I did not spend the night with someone else. I’ll explain later. See you tonight, wife.’ 
Huh. Looks like the guards have really good ears. 
Well, whatever. It’s not like you were impatiently waiting for night to come just so you could talk to your ghost of a husband. Right? 
Except you were though. So much that you couldn’t paint a decent thing. You were easily giving up on each canvas, and leaving a trail of unfinished work the more time went on. 
Eventually you sighed and left the studio. You tried reading but that wasn’t happening either. So you did the only thing you knew would take your mind off things. You asked the ladies to show you where everything was kept in the kitchen and you got to baking. 
Which you did until it was time for bed. Your mood was off, and it was all because of a faceless man. And that somehow annoyed you even more. 
You grabbed a plate of the mini muffins you’d made earlier and made your way upstairs. Your puppy had just gotten used to the stairs so she happily followed you everywhere you went now. 
You proceeded to sit in bed, and eat your muffins angrily and forced yourself to try to sleep. 
-
You woke up sometime later. And you just knew who was in the room with you. 
Except he wasn’t in his usual spot. 
He was standing by the windows which faced your bed this time, with his back to you. The curtains were pulled, the moonlight came and there was his dark silhouette. And… you frowned as you noticed the shiny metal arm. 
“You’re home.” You said. 
Bucky turned his head to the side, “I am.” He said. 
You took a second or two to admire the side profile. With the moonlight shining all around his silhouette he looked like a fallen angel of sorts. “You didn’t come home last night.” 
“I was out working,” He said. 
“Maiming and killing?” 
“You know me so well.” 
“Is that a… metal arm?” You questioned. 
“It is.”  
“Were you hurt?” 
“I was.” 
You sighed again. “Is it always going to be bland answers and mystery with you?” 
“Get used to it.” He said in that teasing tone. 
You got out of bed as quietly as you could. “I think I liked you better without the attitude, when you sat in the corner like a ghost.” You took some steps away from the bed, approaching the giant windows. The room was rather spacious so it would take some more steps to get close to him. If you’d only– 
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do.” He warned, but remained in the same spot. 
You groaned. “Don’t you think this is getting tiring? I mean, I’m married to a man I’ve never seen before. In fact, no one has ever seen you. Why? What are you hiding?” You added, sounding defeated.  
Bucky lowered his head, which only accentuated how broad his shoulders really were. He sighed. “Do you know how much trouble could’ve been avoided if only Psyche trusted Eros?” 
You rolled your eyes. “I think she had her reasons. A mysterious, faceless lover who only shows up in the dark and hides in the shadows is bound to raise some doubts. Don’t you think so?” 
He chuckled. You blinked and he’d turned around to face you. But despite that, you couldn’t see his face at all. Even though he was inches away. 
He was quiet. Observing you with interest. The moonlight allowed him to see all of you, and he just… stared for a moment or two. A shiver ran down your back. An unfamiliar, but pleasant shiver. 
Without a word said, Bucky reached out and gently touched the thin strap of your silky night dress resting on your shoulder. His metal finger gliding along your skin and making you gasp at his cold touch. 
“What’s this?” He asked in his usual teasing tone. “Trying to tempt me with this excuse of a night dress, wife?” 
Fuck. Had his voice dropped lower? 
Fuck! He was so close to you. You didn’t even notice that your heart had begun racing. Your breaths had deepened. Shit. Why was this so hot?! 
“Are you? Tempted?” You asked with a steady voice, without thinking obviously. You just needed to say something so he wouldn’t notice the way you were basically panting after him like a thirsty dog. 
He chuckled. But remained quiet. 
So you said, “Thought so.” You sounded smug but you were feeling the complete opposite. 
Bucky scoffed in that arrogant way he often did. It was insane how easily you were able to pick up on his mannerism when you hadn’t even known him for that long. “Is that what you think? That I don’t want to sleep with you?” 
Oh. 
Oh this was bad. Because now your brain was making up hot, steamy scenes in your head. Scenes involving you and your faceless, mysterious husband in the dark. Entwining bodies on soft bed sheets. Fuck, you should paint that. No, what?  
“Then why haven’t you?” You found yourself asking. 
Okay then, bold as fuck it is. You’d gone past the point of no return now. Guess it was time for this conversation. 
Bucky’s fingers remained on your shoulder, tracing the thin strap there. And you couldn’t see it, but you could hear the smirk in his voice when he asked, “You want me to?” His metal hand dropped to your waist and before you could fully process it, he pulled you closer, leaned in to whisper into your ear, “You want my hands all over you, wife?” 
You could feel his slight stubble against your skin as he spoke. His lips brushing against your ear, making you gasp and tremble. Your hands found their way to his shoulders. And oh, he was pulling you even closer. Your chest pressing against his. The cool material of his suit felt amazing against your warm skin. 
“Look at you,” He cooed into your ear. “Is this what you want? Hmm?” He placed both his hands on your waist, pulling you into him. His lips moved lower, brushing against your neck as he spoke. “You like how rough my hands feel?” He moved his hands up and down your sides. “Do you know how many people I’ve hurt with these hands?” He chuckled when he heard the tiniest moan leave your mouth. “You’re so soft and warm, aren’t you worried what these hands might do to you?” 
He nuzzled your neck, hands roaming all over your sides and back and squeezing your butt. You became so pliant under his touch. Tilting your head back to allow him to kiss all over your neck, pressing your chest more and more against his like you couldn’t get enough. The layers of clothing, you wanted them gone. 
With a shaky voice you murmured, “I can’t tell if you’re trying to scare me or turn me on.” 
He laughed. And it was the best sound you’d ever heard. 
“You’re sick in that pretty head, huh?” He teased. “That beautiful brain is filled with filthy, dirty, dark thoughts, isn’t it?” His metal hand reached up and carefully wrapped around your throat. 
You gasped as he squeezed just a little bit. Those dirty thoughts he spoke about really started to fill your head. 
“Are you just all talk or–,” 
He cut you off by dragging you all the way to your bed, still holding you by the throat. 
The back of your knees hit the edge of the bed and he gave you a slight push, ending with you falling onto your bed on your back. You looked up at him, hovering above you, his lower body pressing into yours. 
“Do you just run that mouth?,” He asked, supporting himself with one hand while the metal one remained wrapped around your throat, his voice low and menacing but in a way that made your legs part on their own so his hips settled in between them. Your bodies fit together like the most perfect puzzle pieces. “Or do you know how to take it like a brat as well?” 
You felt the need to let him know then. “I don’t know,” You said, sounding both breathless and bratty. “I’ve never had to take it.” 
He paused for a moment. Then asked in subtle surprise, “What do you mean?” Even his grip around your throat loosened completely. 
You squirmed in slight embarrassment but that only caused your hips to grind against his and for a moment there both of you let out a strained moan. Fuck. The tension between the two of you was almost physical now. Even in the dark, even with Bucky being nothing more than just a shadow above you. 
“I, uh…” You cleared your throat, still feeling his cold fingers all over your skin, “I’ve never been with anyone before.” 
He was quiet. As if thinking. You tried your hardest but you couldn’t see any of his facial features. You knew he had a slight stubble because you’d felt it earlier. But aside from that, you knew nothing. Not even his eye colour. 
“You want us to stop?” He asked, shifting his body slightly as if he was ready to pull away if you asked him to. 
“No,” You answered way too quickly. Then you got bold again and let your hands find their way back to his shoulders. You pulled him down, closer to you just a little and said, “This is okay.” 
His fingers moved up, from your neck to your mouth. “Yeah? You want this, huh?” He mumbled, tracing your mouth with his fingers. You shivered under his touch. “You’ve been a whiny little brat lately, haven’t you, wife? Pouting and all just because I wouldn’t show myself to you.” He whispered, leaning in to just brush his lips against yours. You gasped at the sensation of his soft lips rubbing against yours. Bucky chuckled at your reaction. “Don’t think my staff doesn’t report back to me. I’ve been well aware of all the times you asked the ladies to give you details about me.” 
Now that made you squirm in embarrassment. Still you said, sounding a little annoyed at being caught. “Can you blame me?”
“Can’t you just trust me?” He argued. 
The danger and authority in his tone had your thighs clenching together to try and alleviate the torturous pain in between your legs. You were almost certain you had never been this turned on and annoyed at the same damn time before. You sighed in frustration. “This isn’t fair.” 
“No, it isn’t,” He said, pulling away and began undressing you to your pleasant surprise. “Deal with it.” 
Oh fuck. 
Fuck… You had to hold back from whimpering each time his hands rubbed against your skin. He took his time in sliding the straps of your night dress down your shoulders, dragging the silky fabric down your body, leaving you more and more naked under him. 
You shivered once he left your night dress bunched around your waist carelessly. It wasn’t just because of the slightly cold air. It was because even though you couldn’t see him, you could tell he was staring right at you. 
You spoke in a hushed voice, not daring to speak loud in fear that it might break whatever spell you were under. “So you get to see me naked all you want, but I can’t see your face?” 
He chuckled. “You want me to leave this room right now? Leave you here all wet and squirming? Or do you want me to take care of it and make you come? Huh?” 
That shut you up really quickly. 
“I thought so.” He sounded smug again when he said that. “I should spank you for the brat you are. But since it’s your first time… I’ll be nice.” 
His hands touched you everywhere, your thighs, your stomach, your sides, your chest, your neck… everywhere. He left you gasping and trembling under him. 
“Please.” You caught yourself whispering. 
Bucky leaned down, his soft mouth brushing against your cheek as he said, “Please what?” 
You squirmed, “Touch me, please.” 
He chuckled. You felt his warm breath against your skin as he kissed his way down your naked body. “Look at you,” He murmured, lips brushing against your stomach, “You’re so eager already.” 
You heard the faint chuckle which left his mouth the moment he noticed your legs spread apart for him naturally. Your face felt like it was burning but fuck, you were too turned on to even be properly embarrassed. Also, being in complete darkness helped. 
Damn. You were really getting intimate with your husband whom you hadn’t even seen yet. And somehow that fact was making you want this even more. 
But that mystery stopped being an issue the moment Bucky leaned in and kissed your wet folds, his tongue slowly circling around your throbbing clit and licking down, parting your wet folds with ease.
He poked at your entrance with his tongue and your body felt hotter than before. Back arching off the bed as you let out a soft moan at the foreign feeling. Fuck he felt good. You whimpered as you felt his tongue stroke your most sensitive parts. Your immediate reaction was to pull your hips back from the overwhelmingly good sensation his mouth was causing. And that made him grip your thighs tighter, keeping them pinned to the bed. 
“Stop moving.” He ordered and the authority in his voice made you tremble. 
You whined as you felt his strong arms wrapped around your thighs, keeping you in place and close to his mouth. The metal hand on your warm skin made you shiver and tremble so much that you were thankful for the darkness. 
The small amount of moonlight which came in allowed you to only see the silhouette of his broad shoulders, and his head moving slowly, sensually in between your legs. Fuck… somehow the mystery only made it hotter.
Oh you were fucked in the head for real. 
And oh, Bucky was a fucking tease. Once he noticed how easily you cried out and moaned for him, he slowed down and began kissing around your clit just to purposely mess with you. He kissed your thighs, purposely avoiding touching where he knew you needed him the most. He kissed down all the way to your core, and gently bit your skin around your inner thighs. 
“Bucky, please!” You cried out, hand reaching for his hair. When you managed to grab a fistful of his soft hair, you gave it a gentle tug. “Stop teasing me.” 
“You don’t get to give me orders, wife.” He said, sounding all proud and mighty. “I could just walk out of here and leave you like this. Naked and squirming.” 
“Please,” You begged again. You could feel your arousal trickling out of you. 
A scoff. Then he leaned in again. You whined and whimpered under him, with your legs wrapped around his head. Fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp instinctively as he flicked, and sucked, and teasing your clit as much as he could. 
“You’ve been a brat because you wanted your husband’s attention so badly, huh?” He taunted. “Is that what you wanted? Just my attention?” He chuckled. “You’re as calm as a happy kitten now, aren’t you?” 
His stubble rubbed against your sensitive skin, and the friction burned a little but it was the kind of pain you kept wanting more of. You wanted more of him. 
“Fuck, your mouth feels so good,” You murmured, throwing your head back, moaning as he kept teasing your entrance with the tip of his tongue. 
“Come for me, wife.” His hands wrapped around your thighs, securing you in his grip as he pushed his face further into you, making you cry out loud. 
You couldn’t even hold on for much longer, and ended up coming undone all over his tongue. Heart racing, legs trembling in his grip as you came. Your moans were soft and incessant. 
Fuck… that felt amazing. 
You had barely gotten your heart to stop racing, and Bucky was already standing up and in the dark you couldn’t see very well but it did look like he was moving away from the bed. 
“You’re leaving?” You asked, unable to stop yourself from sounding a little upset at his departure. 
All he said was, “Good night, wife. See you tomorrow.” 
You scoffed after he shut the door behind him, leaving you in darkness yet again. “Ghost.” 
— 
That night ended up being the first of many. 
Your days consisted of painting, and finally finding a flow in most of your pieces. Perhaps if you’re able to make a decent collection, you could start thinking about the exhibition seriously, you thought. When you weren’t painting you were either training your rapidly growing puppy, or baking. You’d begun taking your puppy out for walks around the mansion, consequently doing some more exploring of the grounds. 
After all that, each night you’d get in bed and wait for Bucky. It became part of your routine. And each night with him was different. He’d spend his time touching you slowly until you were purring for him like a kitten. Kissing you all over your body in the dark. Making you come all over his tongue and fingers. Kissing you until you moaned and pulled him closer just to feel his weight pressing down on you. 
But he would always leave after making you come. And you two never actually fucked. Neither would he let you make him come. 
On nights when he wouldn’t make it home, you’d worry yourself to sleep. But then each morning you’d find a note from him either in your studio or the breakfast table. He would always say some cheesy shit. And he would always promise to come see you later that night. 
On nights when you two didn’t engage in anything sexual, it was still just as fulfilling. Bucky would tell you things about his work, his past, his family. You learnt that he was over a decade older than you, and teased him about being an old man until he pinned you to the bed and tickled you until you couldn’t breathe. 
You learnt that he liked to keep to himself and stay as far away from his family as possible. He liked peace and quiet, which would explain his lovely home being here away from most people. 
The more you learned about him, the easier it was to grow fond of him. But the more you grew fond of him, the greedier you got. You wanted more. More of his time, his touch, his attention, and most of all, you wanted to see him. 
The mystery, while hot as fuck, was killing you. 
One night, things changed. 
Bucky came into your room as usual. He’d gotten bolder lately, he wouldn’t sit in the corner like a ghost anymore, instead he would find his way to your bed and only leave that bed after making you come hard. 
Tonight started out the same way.  
You felt his hands all over you as he pulled you closer to him under the covers. You giggled as he bit and licked that one sensitive spot on your neck. Your fingers had a habit of finding themselves in his hair. It was insane how easily you’d gotten used to being with him in the dark. How easily you could find his mouth with your own. How easily you’d find your way into his arms. 
It was weirdly comforting. His warmth, his voice, his touch. 
“Tell me about your day,” He murmured, kissing your neck while his hands grabbed you and caressed you wherever he could reach. 
You squealed when you felt his metal fingers wandering dangerously close to your clit. Then said, “It went pretty well. I went out to buy some supplies, made a new friend at the store, I went to see my father but he wasn’t home. I took our dog for a walk, I painted…,” You gasped when his mouth trailed down till he took a nipple into his warm mouth, while he slid two fingers inside you gently. “Oh fuck…” You whined. 
He kissed his way up to your mouth again and said, “You sound so good when you moan for me, wife.” His lips brushed against yours. 
He was so close. And it was dark. And you wanted so desperately to see him. 
He moved his fingers expertly in and out of you. Making sure to brush against your most sensitive spots each time, turning you into a whimpering mess under him. He gave you a gentle kiss, swallowing your moans as he brought you closer to the edge. 
You whimpered and whined, then in the moment you just blurted out, “Can I please see you now?” 
Bucky stopped. He pulled away from you, making you whimper again as he got up and got out of your bed. 
In the dark it took a while for you to figure out where he was, whether he was still nearby or already making his way out the door. But he was here, standing near the bed. 
“We talked about this.” He said, sounding grave and disappointed. 
“But it’s been so long.” You argued. “I trust you.” 
He let out a loud exhale and said, “Then trust me when I say, it’s better this way.” 
You let out a sigh. “You can’t keep me in the dark forever, Bucky. Literally!” 
“Yes I can. I will.” He said arrogantly. That tone of his bothered you. “It’s better this way.” He repeated, but it sounded a lot like he was trying to convince himself instead of you. 
“Oh screw you!” You said with enough bitterness to make a grown man flinch. “If you won’t let me see you then stop coming into my bedroom. I don’t want to see you unless you agree to let go of this weird persona.” 
“Fine.” 
That night was the last time you heard from Bucky. 
He didn’t come home the following day. Nor the one after that. 
And no one knew where he went. 
You could tell something was wrong when you began noticing that the guards were talking in hushed voices whenever you were around. You noticed that the amount of security around the house doubled. That’s when you began to worry. 
By the third night, the entire house was filled with this almost tangible tension, worry, and fear. The house staff wouldn’t talk to you as much. The guards were always in and out of the house. The head of security advised you to not wander too far away from the house while you roam the grounds. 
You noticed the guards would follow you whenever you left the property. Be it when you left to visit your father at your old house or when you went out to buy supplies. 
Then you worried some more. But no one had answers to your questions. Nobody knew where he went. Whether he’s away for an assignment or if he’s simply choosing to be away from home. 
You tried your hardest to pretend that you didn’t care. You were still a little angry. After all, why couldn’t you see what he looked like? You’d spend so much time with him in the dark, running your hands all over him, tracing the outline of his facial features, he never had an issue with that. But why couldn’t you see him? 
You were angry, but also very much worried by the fourth day. You missed him, you realised. He had become such a habit, such a constant in your days. His sarcastic humour, his gentle hands, his comforting embrace, the way he left you notes in the morning, the way he took your art seriously. 
Fuck. You sat up in bed one night, patting ‘his’ side of the bed softly. You missed him. Badly. You felt a pinch inside your chest which you had never felt before. It hurt. You wanted him home. You admitted to yourself with a painful sigh. 
“Where are you?” You whispered, looking at the dark corner of your bedroom where he used to sit in silence like a ghost. “It’s okay if you want to stay in the dark forever.” You looked around the dark room which now without him seemed so much bigger and empty, “Just come home.” 
The next morning, as you half-heartedly approached the kitchen, you overheard something. And quickly realised you shouldn’t have heard it. It was the two ladies talking in hushed tones, the ones who usually served you your meals and often kept you company while you baked. 
“...cannot tell her, she’ll be heartbroken.” One of them said gravely. 
Sudden panic made your body freeze. You pressed your back against the nearest wall to keep yourself hidden while you processed those cryptic words. No, no, no. Is he hurt? Do they know something you don’t? 
The other replied, “But she deserves to know. Even if it’s not confirmed yet. I mean, do you see how she smiles when she reads his notes? Clearly she had grown to care for him. She needs to know.” 
The other argued, “I know, but I cannot imagine how hurt she will be when she hears about the rumours that her own father kidnapped her husband due to some past rivalry which was supposedly laid to rest after their wedding.” 
“They’ve been looking for him for days now. It’s been too long, he should’ve been found by now.” 
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! 
No. This cannot be happening. 
You carefully walked away from the kitchen. Thinking, processing, analysing. 
If your father did it, it must’ve been for some shitty, arrogant reason. He probably just wanted to rub it in Bucky’s family’s face that he could still eliminate his biggest threat if he wanted to. To show that he could still get rid of them by holding their most precious weapon hostage. To toy with them by making them wait in anticipation. Your father had done it before. Not with Bucky, but other people. He usually never asked for ransom but he liked having his rivals beg him for mercy. 
Shit. He’s had Bucky for days now. 
You moved without thinking twice about it. For some reason, your brain knew exactly what to do even though your heart was still bothered by a multitude of emotions. It felt like you were on autopilot. 
You rushed into Bucky’s office and grabbed a handgun from his desk drawer, checked if it was loaded. It was. You knew Bucky kept it there for safety, he had told you that one time when you two were in bed together. 
You let out a frustrated sigh, then felt movement around your ankles. You looked down at your puppy and gave her a sad smile as you bent down to pet her. “I’m gonna go find daddy, okay? I’ll be home soon.” You left her with a kiss. 
You rushed back downstairs and found a group of armed guards in the foyer near the front door. You didn’t have the time to explain it all to them, especially since you were driven by a gut feeling. Instead you asked, “Do you guys have a way of tracking my phone, or my car?” 
One of them nodded. The rest frowned in confusion. 
You tried to keep your calm as much as you could even though your heart was racing. “Okay, I’m gonna go to my father’s house. Don’t follow me yet, but I need some of you to come find me as soon as I begin driving away from there.” 
Surprisingly, they just nodded and let you go. 
The whole time you drove to your father’s house, it felt you were constantly having to force yourself to keep calm. After four days of having no idea where he was, and now as all the puzzle pieces fit together, it was hard to remain calm. You just wanted to get to him. 
And while you drove, unanswered questions tormented you. 
Was he hurt? Where was he being kept? Was he beaten up? Was he even conscious? Would this end badly? How far would your father take this? Would he hurt him? 
Before you knew it, you were entering your father’s property. The guards let you in like they always did. You had to take a minute to breathe in your car before stepping out and going inside your old home. 
Luckily your father was home. 
You walked in and stopped in the middle of the foyer as you saw him making his way down the stairs. He slowed down when he noticed the glare you sent his way. And when he stopped in the middle of the grand staircase, with you still glaring at him, the guards who were scattered around the entrance noticed. You caught the way they silently got closer and closer, slowly reaching for their guns. 
Good thing you’d brought your own. 
The guards, as well as your father, froze in place the moment you pulled out Bucky’s gun and pointed it at the man responsible for all of this shit. No one made a single sound. No guard moved to even try to disarm you. 
You looked at your hand, which was surprisingly steady as it held the gun. And there, on the side of the shiny metal, you spotted Bucky’s initials. Your heart throbbed in a painful way, but you refused to be emotional right now, even though you needed a good cry after having bottled up your feelings for the last few days. 
You glared at your father, who was still shocked, and asked in a cold tone you’d never used before, “Where’s my husband?” 
Your father frowned. “What do you think you’re doing?” 
You repeated, “Where is he?” 
Your father scoffed, “You’ll shoot your own father? Is this how I raised you?” 
“And you’ll kidnap your own son-in-law? For what? To show that you’re still the shit?” You questioned in a slightly raised voice. 
He sighed like he was disappointed, “You don’t know what–,” 
You cut him off. “We had a deal, right? That these petty attacks would stop after the wedding? That’s why I got married, isn’t it? Because we’re supposed to keep family safe?” 
He was quiet for a moment. Then began talking again, “If I could just get them to–,” 
“Enough!” You sounded just as tired of his bullshit as you were. “Whatever plan you have, just stop!” Then it came spilling out of your mouth, “You were supposed to protect me. All of us,” You said, referring to your older siblings, “Instead you married each of us off in exchange for whatever or whoever was going to benefit you more.” 
He argued, “If this works, you can come back home. Don’t you want that?” 
“No,” You said, and realised you meant it. “This was never home.” You admitted. “He treats me better than my own family ever did. He doesn’t tell me that my art is a waste of time. He doesn’t keep me imprisoned inside his home. He doesn’t choose who I should mingle with and who I shouldn’t. He doesn’t force me to join family businesses because it’ll be good for his image.” You taunted your father. “And he’ll never sell me to the highest bidder.” 
Your father made a sound like he was disgusted. “Don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love with him?” 
You remained quiet. I care for him, you wanted to say, deeply. But that would be lying, wouldn’t it? Truth was… you did fall for him. His calm voice. His gentle but playful demeanour. His dark humour. His brilliant mind and sharp tongue, always ready to argue and debate. His gentle touch… you loved him. 
“What I do and who I care for is none of your concern anymore.” You concluded, stepping forward and keeping the gun aimed at his face. “Now, where is my husband?” 
The smirk on your father’s face was maddening. “You’ll never find him,” He said. “I’ve hidden him well.” He added.  
You gave him a smirk as well. One which mirrored his. 
“Oh don’t make me do this.” You cooed. “Did you forget all those times you got drunk and confessed all the bad things you did?” You began listing, “All those times you spilled all your little secrets. About our family businesses, about your allies, the lies and betrayal. The bodies that are buried on this very property. The skeletons in your closet.” You gave him a sick, sweet smile. “Imagine if all that information just magically ends up in the ears of your rivals, dad. Imagine the carnage.” 
His smirk disappeared. “You would betray me by siding with them?” He asked in disbelief. 
You were getting tired of this. So you lowered your gun and said, “I am one of them.” 
You walked out without a single glance back at your father, but you could tell he had his jaws clenched in anger. He hated being outsmarted. But his mistake was underestimating you. 
And as for Bucky’s location, well your father gave it away when he said ‘I’ve hidden him well.’ 
There was only one place he believed you knew nothing about since at the time that he told you about it, he was drunk out of his mind as he confessed more of his crimes: the rundown warehouse which he used as a hideout/storage for weapons and arms. 
Your father had always referred to Bucky being a ‘weapon’ so it was only fitting that he would think to hide him there. Thinking no one would find him. 
But you would. 
As you drove to the warehouse, you hoped that the guards were tracking you as you had instructed them to. Because if Bucky was truly there, there was a high chance that there would be some guards, and that Bucky must be injured. And you’d need help getting him out of there. 
Driving to the warehouse, you had silent tears streaming down your face. Not just out of sadness, but also frustration. Fuck, what had your life become? 
The warehouse was a disaster, you realised as you approached it. Large, crumbling, windows boarded up with rotting wood, broken machinery scattered around the outside. It looked like it had been abandoned for decades. And it was exactly the type of structure no one would bother to look twice at. The perfect place to hide illegal things, and son-in-laws you hate. 
There weren’t as many guards as you expected. Which would mean that Bucky was either chained and locked up like an animal, or that he was injured to the point where he was too weak to fight his way out of here. 
Or both. 
You shivered as you got out of your car. The few guards who were around noticed you and one of them began walking faster towards you the more you got closer to the entrance. 
“Miss, you can’t be here. Your father explicitly said no one is allowed–,” 
You scoffed and said, “Oh, I know what he said.” You kept walking. “What will you do? Shoot me?” 
“Miss,” He tried again, “I can’t let you–,” 
You turned towards him and placed the barrel of Bucky’s gun right under the guard’s chin. “You were saying?” 
Then you heard it. A fleet of cars approaching. The guards heard it too. You heard them yelling at one another while the one in front of you remained frozen in place. You smirked at him and said, “Now go play with them.” 
You had just enough time to duck and run inside before the gunshots began. You didn’t stop. The interior of the warehouse was just as dilapidated as the outside, and by the sound of it, there were quite some guards on the roof. Their heavy footsteps as they ran to duck and try to escape the bullets raining down on them echoed inside the empty warehouse. 
It was fairly easy to spot Bucky. But fuck was it painful to see him that way. 
He was chained to the wall, shackles around his wrists and ankles. His body slumped on the ground, his breaths ragged. You could tell he was tired. Perhaps tired of fighting against the chains. You couldn’t hold back your soft sob as you ran to him. 
They had left his muzzle-like mask on him, covering the lower half of his face. The leather jacket and gloves he wore were covered in blood and dirt. A lot of blood. You knelt down in front of him and that’s when you noticed the bullet wound on his thigh. It looked fresh. 
“Bucky?” You called, reaching a hand to touch his face. He was cold to the touch, but stirred at the sound of your voice. “Bucky, come on. Wake up. Please.” You sniffled and inched closer to him, “I’m here, I’m gonna get us out of here, okay?” 
He let out a weak cough. You could barely hear it over the sound of the gunshots outside. 
“Bucky,” You tried to get the chains and shackles off of him, “Come on, wake up. We need to go home.” Your own voice cracked as you felt the silent tears streaming down your face as you were unable to get the shackles off. “Please,” You begged. 
Then as the gunshots outside faded away, you heard Bucky’s faint voice saying, “Use the gun.” 
You turned to face him. “What?” 
He spoke again, his voice raspier than usual and sounding muffled due to the mask. “Shoot at the chains.” 
Your hands trembled just a little as you reached for the gun you had brought. His gun. And you said, “Okay, don’t move.” 
You did. And only missed twice. 
Breaking the chains left the shackles still around his wrists and ankles but that could be dealt with later. You were panicking, wondering how you’d get him out of here but the guards barged in just in time. And you let out a sigh of relief when they ran straight to Bucky and carefully picked him up. 
As a couple of them managed to get Bucky in the backseat of your car, one of them let you know that there was a doctor and his assistants already waiting at home to tend to Bucky. Another one asked you what to do regarding the warehouse. 
“Burn it.” You told him. “I’ll deal with my father later, right now we need to get Bucky home.” 
On the drive home, Bucky kept trying to talk. But he was so weak he could barely get full sentences out. 
“Weren’t you mad at me?” He asked.
You sniffled and said refused to answer that. Instead you said, “Try not to talk. You’ve been shot, we don’t know how much blood you’ve lost,” You rambled. “Let’s get you to the doctor, okay?”  
“S’okay,” He mumbled, “It went through.” 
That only hurt more. “Bucky please, you need to save energy, okay? We’re almost home.” 
“They… shot me with my own gun.” He refused to keep quiet. 
At first you thought his brain was being delirious and making him ramble. Because of the pain, exhaustion, thirst, hunger. But then a weak sound left his mouth. Still muffled by the mask because no one removed it, and it sounded a lot like a very weak, faint laugh. 
“Eros got pierced by his own arrow after all.” He mumbled. 
You held back a sob. Then muttered, “I hate you so much, Bucky Barnes.” 
Another weak laugh. “No, you don’t, wife.” 
Then he passed out cold. 
— 
The next few days which followed Bucky’s rescue went by so fast and so painfully. The medical team kept close watch on him for days. Bucky was in and out of consciousness a lot. All the meds and the exhaustion kept him constantly out cold. 
The nurses and the house staff were constantly around him. But for some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to go into his room. Not yet. You’d linger near the door and the doctors and the staff would constantly update you about his condition, but you never went in. 
Mainly it was because of shame. At what your father had done to him. But also you were still making peace with and processing your own emotions and you couldn’t face him until you were fully ready. What was important was that he was rescued and safe in his home. 
About a week later, the medical team finally left. And promised they would do frequent check ups and told you that Bucky needed a lot of rest. 
And that night, you managed to find the courage to finally step inside Bucky’s bedroom. It was a lot like yours, just larger. The room was dark when you walked in. But the open curtains allowed some light in from the outside. 
Okay. You spoke to yourself as you approached Bucky’s bed. It’s high time you find out who you married. 
Your hands shook a little as you reached for the dim lamp on his bedside table. But you turned it on quickly before you could talk yourself out of it. 
The golden light illuminated the room partly, and there he was. A little bruised, with a cut on his lip. His handsome face made you smile and tear up at the same time. You couldn’t hold back from reaching to touch his face softly, carefully. You ran your knuckles along his cheek and whispered, “There you are, ghost.” 
He stirred. And soon, a pair of sparkling blue eyes look up at you. For a moment you panicked, wondering if he would be upset. But instead he said, “This is cheating.” 
You let out a soft laugh and asked, “How are you feeling? You’ve been asleep for days.” 
“I feel like beating your father up.” He mumbled. 
“Oh, same.” You agreed. Then added, “I’m so sorry for what he did to you.” 
Over the past few days, the guards had gathered what had truly happened the day Bucky went missing. Turns out, he did leave for an assignment but your father and his men had been keeping a close eye on him for days, and since the wedding was supposed to have ended all rivalry, Bucky had his guard down as he entered your father’s territory. And your father had the upper hand for once and took advantage of it. Bucky was cornered, outnumbered and taken. He was kept in that warehouse up until you found him. 
“Don’t be,” Bucky whispered, reaching for your hand on your lap. He gave your hand a soft squeeze and said, “You saved me.” 
You couldn’t look away from Bucky. It felt so intimate to finally be able to see his face. Then rather sheepishly, you asked, “Can I sleep here? I’ll be careful.” He was still injured and in pain, but you just wanted to be close to him. You needed to. 
He smirked, “Come on.” You walked to the other side of the bed and slid under the covers, keeping some distance between you and him. He turned to look at you and said, “Want me to leave the light on?” 
You nodded. And he did. 
— 
A lot changed after that. 
Bucky was healing from his injury and was starting to walk again. Which meant that he was home a lot. He did ‘work’ but it mainly consisted of him ordering people around on the phone. 
Him being at home meant that he followed you around as much as he physically could. He would spend time in your studio, sometimes he’d stay for hours and watch you finish your pieces. He also spent a lot more time with your dog, taking her on short walks and teaching her new tricks. 
He’d stay with you in the kitchen while you baked. He’d go with you whenever you went shopping for supplies. Bucky became your shadow. And consequently, spending this much together made you feel closer than ever to him. 
He became your best friend. 
He also became a lot more… bold. 
One night Bucky found you in his bathroom. After that night when you first slept in his bed, you hadn’t gone back to your bedroom. So now, most of your things slowly found their way into his space. Like your night time skin care products. 
Bucky crept up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. 
You met his eyes through the mirror and gave him a smile. “Your limp is nearly gone.” You announced, noticing the way he walked was so much better now. 
He gave you a look which meant nothing but mischief, “And you know what that means?” 
You could already tell where this was going. You immediately turned him down. “Bucky, we cannot. You’re still injured.” 
“But it’s been weeks.” He said it like it was the ultimate torture. “Don’t you miss those nights we spent together? Hmm?” He whispered, leaning in to kiss your neck. He knew it was one of your weaknesses. “Remember how good it feels when I make you come?” 
You sighed, letting him kiss you and hold you for a moment. “Buck… you’re still healing.” 
“Come on, baby,” He cooed, nuzzling your neck, “I’ll make it so good. I promise I’ll tell you if it hurts.” 
You almost gave in the moment he playfully bit your neck, his hands finding the belt of your robe and shamelessly undoing it before sliding in to touch your warm skin. “But,” You tried to find something even though all you wanted was to drag him to bed, “Your stitches…” Your words ended in a soft moan as his metal fingers found their way in between your legs, circling around your clit. 
Bucky growled. Growled. Then said, “Fine, you get to be on top then.” 
You froze, and let out a nervous chuckle. “But I…,” You opened your eyes and met his through the mirror. “I–,” 
“Shh, it’s okay.” He reassured you, remembering the time you told him you’d never done anything with anyone before. “I know.” He gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’ll teach you.” 
And he did. Patiently. 
He took his time in undressing both of you and held your hand in his as he laid down and pulled you on top of him. 
“I’m scared I’ll hurt you.” You murmured. 
He gave you a reassuring smile. “You won’t, baby. Now come on.” 
He watched as you carefully straddled him, settling comfortably around his waist. One hand holding his metal one tightly while the other remained splayed over his chest. 
Bucky looked up at you with nothing but adoration and lust as he tugged on your hand, pulling you in for a kiss. You leaned down gently and pressed your mouth to his. His warm hand immediately rubbed up and down your side lovingly. He pulled away just a little and whispered against your mouth, “We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with, okay?” 
You nodded, already breathless. 
“Tell me, baby. What do you want?” 
You told him the one thing you desperately wanted. “I want to touch you.” 
Bucky smirked and supported his upper body up on his elbows, with you still straddling his waist, your core pressing down on his crotch. “Go on then, touch me.” He murmured. 
He watched you intently as you reached out and touched his face first. Bucky’s heart was racing, you could tell by the way he breathed, as your finger slowly trailed down his face, along his neck and down till his abs, so slowly that you could feel his muscles tensing underneath your touch. 
You gave him a teasing smile when you noticed the effect you have on him, and how he couldn’t help but stare at your naked body. 
“Don’t tease me,” He mumbled. 
You chuckled and leaned in to give him a brief kiss before hesitantly wrapping your hand around his cock. Part of the reason why you kissed him while doing it was because you were worried about your lack of experience, so you did it to distract him. 
But he caught it. And wrapped his own hand around yours, making you grip him tighter. You pulled away from the kiss and looked into his pretty eyes. Bucky was breathing heavily. You let his hand guide you as you gave him an experimental stroke, a gentle up and down movement. 
He felt thick and hard, and big. You looked down for a quick minute as you let him continue guiding your hand, lazily stroking his cock, up and down. Your thumb rubbed his tip slowly, making him groan as you looked back up at him and kissed your way down his neck, around the base of his throat, making him gasp in pleasure. 
“See?” He whispered, “You’re learning already.” He said as he slowly let go of your hand and let you touch him on your own. 
You continued exploring this new feeling. He was completely fine with just being there and letting you take your time. And you did take your time, touching him everywhere you could, stroking him as slowly or as quickly as you wanted to. Until he was so close to the edge, eyes rolled to the back of his head, lips parted and occasional moans escaping his open mouth as  pre cum started dripping down his cock. 
Oh he was a sight to behold. But you were getting impatient, and you wanted him in you as soon as possible. So you stopped, earning a groan from him. 
“I want you,” You said. 
Bucky looked like he was barely able to hold back either. “Come on,” He held your hand again, pulled you in for a quick kiss as you straddled him properly. His hand reached down and aligned the tip of his cock to your hole, teasing you with it by sliding it up and down your slit a few times until you were whimpering. “Now sit on it baby come on,” He encouraged you as you began sinking down on him, gasping as his cock stretched you out. “You can do it.” He murmured, breathless as he watched his cock disappear inside you more and more. “That's it. All the way down, come on baby.” 
You were a moaning mess by the time you sunk all the way down, impaling yourself down on his cock. Fuck. You had never felt so full before. So fucking full. 
“You okay, baby?” He asked, holding you by your hips, moving you back and forth just a little bit to create some friction. 
You nodded, moaning at the slight movement. 
“Want me to help you move?” He asked, lips parted and he had that wild look in his eyes.
Fuck, he was beautiful. 
“Yes, please,” You whined, placing your hands on his chest to brace yourself for what was coming. 
He wasted no time. Bucky grabbed you by the hips and helped you move up and down his cock. Your wet warmth wrapped all around him, making him swear under his breath and groan at how good you felt. 
You couldn’t look away from his ocean blue eyes while you rocked your hips against his. You moved against him perfectly, your walls gripping him tightly and feeling him twitch inside you. 
“Look at you.” He cooed. “Look how well you're taking it.” 
You couldn’t help but lean in to kiss his open mouth. He was so perfect. He was everything you had ever dreamt of, you realised. 
His metal fingers moved to touch your clit while you rode his cock, teasing you and bringing you closer to that edge. It wouldn’t take much. You were so overwhelmed already. 
“Bucky…” You whined, dragging your hands down and pressing both your palms against his toned abdomen, carefully avoiding touching him around his thigh area, where he was shot. 
Bucky watched you, your breasts bouncing gently, lips parted, softly gasping as you got so, so close to the edge. 
And he knew. So he quickened his pace, still moving you up and down his cock while he rubbed your throbbing clit. 
“Baby, I’m gonna need you to come for me, okay?” His voice was low, barely even a whisper. His desperation was quite clear. He began to thrust his hips up even harder, matching your movements.
The air around you got hotter, and that look in his eyes made you want to live in this moment forever. Bucky was the most beautiful mess you’d ever seen. A sweaty, moaning mess under you, messy hair, swollen lips, and a throbbing cock. 
You were sure you looked like a mess too as you felt your walls clench around him, gripping him and milking him perfectly. 
“Come for me,” He whispered, “Come on, baby.” 
You came without a warning, crying out loud and impaling yourself down on him one last time as you did. Bucky thrust up into you one last time and came undone as well, both of you breathing hard and fast. 
You carefully got up from his lap and laid down beside him, body limp and slightly sore in between your legs. 
You were still catching your breath as you asked, “Did I hurt you?” You sounded just as worried as you were. 
Bucky chuckled. “I should be the one asking you that.” 
You smiled and snuggled into his side, he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer. 
“I’m fine, baby.” He said and kissed your forehead. 
You both laid there in silence for a while. 
Cuddling and relishing each other’s warmth, caressing each other’s skin. 
You felt his fingers drawing random shapes on your back as you laid your head on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeats against your cheek. You felt the need to ask him, “Why were you so against showing yourself to me?” 
He gave you a soft chuckle. “You just can’t let that go, huh?” 
“Nope.” 
He sighed, pulling you closer. “I was… afraid.” 
You frowned. “Afraid of what?” You pulled away and looked up at him. “Why did you hide this pretty face from me?” You gave him a quick kiss on his chest as you waited for his answer. 
He sighed again. “Everywhere I go, I… whenever people see me up close, it’s already too late. They don’t see a human anymore, they see death staring back at them.” He paused. You remained quiet. He continued. “I see it, you know? In their eyes. When they look at me and plead, or beg, or curse me.” A humourless laugh, then, “After some years of that, I began seeing it in the mirror as well. I saw the same thing they see. After years of brutality, and killing, and spilling blood,” A soft chuckle, “Years of being an evil Eros as you call it, I grew to hate my face.” 
You felt tears forming at your waterline but you couldn’t look away from him. Not when he was being so brave and vulnerable. 
He continued. “And then before our wedding, I looked you up.” He confessed, a little embarrassed. “And you were so beautiful.” He looked you right in the eyes and repeated, “You are so beautiful. I guess, I didn’t want you to look at me and see death, and ugly and all the other dark stuff. I didn’t want to see that look in your eyes, the same one I see in everyone. That look of fear and disgust.” He finally admitted, “So I thought, I’d just hide and be a ghost.” 
“My ghost.” You corrected him, reaching out to cup his chin in your palm. “And I’m gonna need you to never stop haunting me.” You said, leaning in to leave a soft kiss on his lips. “I want you to always be in the shadows. Be with me, even in the dark.” You gave him a smile. “I look at you now and you know what I see? I see a man who treated me with respect. A man who wouldn’t touch me unless I asked for it. A man who gave me so much space for my creativity.” A faint smile, then you added, “You made me fall in love with art all over again, and now everything I paint, I paint with you in my mind.” 
He gave you a smile which both broke and mended your heart. 
“Oh Buck,” You cupped his gorgeous face with both hands and said, “You’re not death, or scary, or any other dark shit. You’re mine, and I love you.” 
He pulled you in for a kiss so quickly you barely processed it. “And I love you.” 
You giggled into the kiss and only pulled away when you were breathless. You kissed your way down his chin and nuzzled his neck, sighing in delight. 
Bucky said, “I think I should retire.” 
“Hmm,” You asked, “And what would you do in retirement?” 
“Watch you paint, raise our dog, adopt some more animals, attend your art exhibitions, and eventually make some babies with you.” He listed it all so easily. 
“Sounds like a plan.” You agreed.
3K notes · View notes