#i'm just really in y'all's debt
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lowkey in my studious arc rn, sorry for not being as chronically online as normal.
#madi posting#also lowkey back on my bs too and i really hate disappointing y'all more than anyone else in the world#idk this is so dramatic but up until this year it sort of felt like y'all were the only ones who gave a shit if i lived or died#or anything in between ya know#i'm just really in y'all's debt#idk i'll probably be normal again in november. it's always bad in october. i'm sorry.
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Hello! I would like to make a request about Dae-Ho, a character I love. I would like the story to show how Dae-Ho and the reader develop a special connection during the games, despite being on opposite sides. She is part of Thanos' team, but they still interact frequently. On one of those nights, they kiss and promise to get to know each other better once it's all over. However, that promise is not fulfilled because she dies in the carousel game.
I hope this story fits the bill. Happy holidays! <3
Anything Is Possible?
KANG DAE-HO X READER
Summary- You are number 230's, rapper Choi Su-bong, sister. Just because you are on 'Thanos Team', does that mean you can Dae-Ho cant get together? Will you survive long enough?
Warnings- Squid Games, Angst, mentions of blood, murder, and death
A/N- I combined this ask with another anon request, "badass reader and daeho! maybe she is related to 100 and that's why the romance is kind of forbidden but she doesn't agree with his actions and thinks daeho is very cute. I would love a first kiss between the two, which she initiated and he was all embarrassed but really excited" I hope y'all don't mind, they were very similar!
Word Count- 4,605
"What is your problem!" You found yourself yelling at your brother. While this was not uncommon, the situation surely was. Thanos the rapper, or just known as Choi Su-bong to you, had pushed several people down on purpose. This killed them in the Red light, Green light game.
"You killed them!" You continued, though he did not seem to care.
"Look, as far as 'The Thanos' is concerned, each body means more cash for MOI!" He spoke, uncaring.
"Oh, and if it was me, would you let me get shot!" You crossed your arms, eyeing him up and down.
He looked around, checking for any guards. He then slipped out his cross form under his shirt. You knew he had some kind of drug in there.
"Look, if it will shut you up, you can have one. But keep your mouth closed!" He ushered his cross in your direction. You rolled your eyes.
"I'd like to at least be aware of my surrounding in a death defying game!" "Shhh, Shhhh!" His face scrunched up as he looked at you, offended. He thought someone might have been drawn to your choice words.
You scoffed and walked off, sitting on the edge of a bed to catch a train of thought.
With a puff, you pressed your head into your hands. Could you really go on like this? Risking your life? Then it hit you, your life was over either way. Loan sharks were bound to kill you the second you left... Might as well go out with a bang?
The gruesome thought lingered until you felt the bed sink next to you.
"Thanos, I don't want to-" You looked up to not see your brother. Instead a man with a '388' on his jacket.
"Well I'm not sure who 'Thanos' is, but are you doing okay?" He looked genuinely concerned.
You started at him for a second, "Like fifty people just died..."
He faltered, "W-well yeah... Obviously you aren't okay... I just, I saw you arguing with that guy... The one with purple hair." You sigh again at his response. Well, this might be the last conversation you ever have. Why not be an open book!
"That's my brother. He thinks since he got one hit song, he can boss anyone around." You again rolled your eyes at the thought of him.
"Oh... I see. I-I have three older sisters, I know how it can get." He said, trying to offer you some sort of condolence.
You gave a side smile at him, appreciative of his efforts. "Thanks... What got you into these games?" You figured there's no reason for 'proper exchanges.' What was the point anymore?
He seemed ashamed at the question. "Sorry, if it makes you feel any better- I'm about 30 million won in debt. Some online crypto coin my brother swindled me into. Lost big time." You explained.
He shook his head, "No, no, its fine. See, I was a marine. Couldn't find a job after I got out. Guess I just got carried away with the wrong people... Got into some bad loans."
You gave a sympathetic face. "That sucks..." He just nodded sheepishly.
A silence fell between you two, but it wasn't awkward or annoying. It just...was.
"Well, uh, which are you going to vote?" He asked like it had been on the tip of his tongue all day.
As the Guards had told us earlier, we would get a chance to vote before the next game. Stay or Go.
"My brother seems pretty adamant on staying... And I honestly don't think it would be smart to piss him off anymore. He's got me in his little clique already." You didn't really know which one you would have chosen if the vote was anonymous.
He nodded in understanding. "I mean, I don't have a groupie or anything. But, you could stick with me if you wanted."
Your heart fluttered. Looking up at him, you seemed to just notice how handsome he was... Then reality hit.
"I deeply appreciate that... But I think you might have better odds without me. Choi- uh Thanos, would probably do something to you... I don't really want to risk it, I'm sorry." You knew that you really did want to be on his team, but you also knew how your brother was.
He had a slight look of defeat on his face, "I get it. I feel confident about the next game. I mean, if they're all children games, how hard can it be? I'll vote the same as you."
You agreed, "Then, maybe I can talk to Thanos? See if he wants another member?" You smiled at him.
He opened his mouth to speak, happily, but the two of you were interrupted when the pink guards came back in. Letting everyone know it was time to vote.
"See ya on the other side." You said, standing up to rejoin Thanos. Plus his newly acquired group of 3.
"Yes ma'am!" He responded, giving a small salute. You just laughed as you glanced at him a last time.
------------------------------------------
"Are you crazy!" Thanos whisper-yelled at you, turning the two of you away from the group. "Are you tryna embarrass me in front of my boys!" He scolded you like a child. His arms and shoulders going up.
"It's not that big of a deal, he was a marine, he could be good for us." Thanos just "tsked' in response.
"No. We are already perfecto. No more room." He said as-a-matter-of-fact. His arms making an 'X.'
You turned and looked at the two men staring at you. "Thanos, there are four of us in total. What if the next game is five players!"
"Huh, and what if its four! Then I'd be pushing YOU out, Cause of ya mouth." He made faces at you, then laughed loudly. "I'm just joking sistah! I'd only do that if you really pissed me off.... We are sticking to four." His expression turned serious.
"Fine."
At a mere coincidence, you turned around and saw '388' staring at you. You mouthed a 'sorry' and shook your head. Signalling Thanos said 'no.'
He nodded, then smiled at you anyways. At that, you watched him walk over and sit with a group of 'X's.
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The lights soon went out. You laid back in your bed, trying to get some kind of sleep. It was useless, especially when you heard a 'psst' right next to you.
You turned your head, playing cool, even though it did startle you a bit. "Shh, It's just me." The voice rang familiar, and when you squinted your eyes in the dark your made out number 388's face. He was on his knees, crouched down next to your bed.
"What are you doing!" You whispered at him, sitting up quickly. Thanos and his two members were just a bed away.
"Shhhh, I have something to tell you." He said, his hands were waving slightly, a nervous tick.
You eyed him, moving closer. "What?"
"One of the guys has played these before. He said he won the games...That he knows which one is next."
Your hands rise to rub sleep from your eyes, "Really? You think he's telling the truth?"
With a frantic nod he continues, "It was the guy who knew about the Red light, Green light. Number 456."
You looked down, "Why are you telling me this..." You questioned, unaware of any kind of unconditional kindness.
"I want you to survive, why else?" You locked eyes with him. They were honest and pure.
"Well, what's the next game?" You didn't know how to respond to such generosity. For all he knew you would stab him in the back. Not that you could bring yourself to, not after he snuck over to tell you.
"He said its Dalgona. Ya know, the game where you scratch out the candy shape?" You knew the game, having played it in your youth.
"Make sure you pick the Triangle. It's the easiest one." You nodded.
At that, a shuffle made both of you turn your head. Thanos moved in his sleep, rolling over. His eyes were closed, but he was now facing you.
"You better go, in case he wakes up." You warned, not wanting any drama.
His head shook in agreeance, he raised to walk off.
"Wait!" You whispered, he looked back. "What's your name?"
"Dae-Ho. Dae-ho Kang."
"Thank you, Dae-ho..." The corners of your face rose, almost grinning at yourself saying his name.
He gave a small wave of his hand, another salute. You suppressed a giggle, and laid back down. Sleep came easier this time...
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"Welcome to your second game, this game will be played in teams. Please divide into teams of five in the next ten minutes."
You looked around, Dalgona was not a team game. Had Dae-Ho lied to you? No, why else would he sneak over in the middle of the night. It didn't make sense. Maybe 456 was lying?
"Should have listened to me, now we have to find another person." You remarked to your brother, smugly.
"Trust trust, my skeptic sister. Thanos has got this under control!" He spoke about himself, immediately levitating to the closest attractive women. You, once again, found yourself rolling your eyes.
"Señorita, excuse me?" You wanted to physically face palm at his attempt at a pickup line.
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Quickly enough, time selection was up. Everyone was orderly sat in their groups. Conveniently, Dae-Ho and his group sat behind you.
"Dae-Ho." You called, moving to be in his range of sight.
"Ahh, hey!" He said, excitedly. His demeanor changing from skittish when he saw you.
"So, what happened to Dalgona?" You asked, not blaming him- just curious.
He gave an unsure face, equally as confused. "He said the games must not be the same. I'm sorry."
"What for?" You beamed, knowing it was not his fault.
He laughed, "I guess I don't know.."
You just shook your head humorously. "Which game are you going to do?"
"Uhmm, Gong-Gi... My sister's played it a lot, so I'm used to it."
"They've got me doing spinning top. I was never any good at Gong-Gi." You made a glance to Thanos, he was high out of his mind. You caught him slipping Nam-Gyu a pill. He didn't notice you talking to Dae-Ho.
"I wish you the best of luck!" He gave a quick bow of the head.
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The game went smoothly enough. Though, it took much longer than Red light, Green light. Watching all of the teams go one at a time was excruciating.
A handful of words exchanged with Dae-Ho while waiting was calming, it grounded you. He had nothing to gain by helping you, he simply did. It was flattering.
You and Dae-Ho had figured out that his team was going last. It was nerve-wracking to think about him not making it. No one had ever effected you like this before...
Eventually your team went, suffering frequent verbal degration from Thanos and Nam-Gyu. Thankfully your team made it with 8 seconds to spare. Too close for your comfort.
The worst part came when you had to wait. You felt like you could hear a large clock ticking right by your ear.
Would Dae-Ho's team make it? You didn't doubt his Gong-Gi skills, but he was dependent on the skills of his team mates as well. It was terrifying to think they were shot with not enough time to complete the games.
You couldn't bare Thanos bantering, he complained about every survivor. It just made you more paranoid about Dae-Ho's possible death.
Trying to settle your mind, you stepped away from your group, preferring to sit by yourself on the edge on the steps. You picked at your nails, praying he would make it.
Minutes and minutes went by. No one had come out in a while. Was the game finished? Did they die?
Just as you were about to return to your brother hopeless, one last group appeared.
A gasp left you as you watched Dae-Ho's team emerge. You stood up, cheering with a handful of other players. Your hands were clasped gleefully In front of you.
Dae-Ho's gaze was fixed on you, he chuckled. His first raised in victory.
You gave him a salute back.
------------------------------------------
You managed to slip away from Thanos. He was too busy hitting on Se-Mi. You were grateful for her, it took some of the pressure and attention off of you. You had to remember to thank her later.
"Dae-Ho!" You called out, he turned around and stepped away from his group.
"You were amazing! You went 'Wooshhh' and got the top first try!" He was practically bouncing on his heels. He mimicked the process of spinning a top with his hands and body.
"Thank you, Thank you." You pretended like you were bowing to an applauding audience.
"How did Gong-Gi go?" You asked, antsy. He rubbed the back on his neck.
He grinned deep, "Would you believe me if I said I got it first try too?"
Your face lit up, "Really!"
"I swear it!" He placed a hand across his chest.
You gave a quick clap to him, "I knew you could do it!"
You felt like a schoolgirl again. Talking to Dae-Ho made you feel like a blushing bride. He was such a ray of light and hope for you.
"What do you think the next game is?" He questioned, taking a seat on a step by the large doors.
You thought for a second, "I don't know, Maybe some kind of mind game. Since the last two have been really physical."
He nodded, "Yeah, maybe, maybe. Thats smart thinking."
You joined him on the step facing him. While you were about to change the conversation, you overheard a few people talk about what they were voting next. It reminded you of the real life-or-death situation you were in.
"So, d'ya think you're going to change your vote?" You became more solemn.
"...Yeah, I just... The others have convinced me. I mean, truly, I shouldn't have voted 'stay' in the first place..." He looked down, almost as if he had disappointed you.
"Honestly, Dae-Ho... I want to leave too... But, but, what if I press 'leave', and we still have to continue the games. Then Thanos would be pissed, and deep down I need him. He's still my brother." You hated the fact, but you were scared of what Thanos would do.
Dae-Ho thought for a moment. He mumbled something you didn't quite catch. "What?" He stood up.
"I can protect you. Honest. With my life." Your breath hitched, you stood up as well.
You shook your head, a lump forming in your throat. "Oh Dae-Ho... That's just the thing. I can't have you risking your life. Not for me."
He gently lifted your hands into his. "You are worth risking my life for."
"Dae-Ho, you don't even know my name." Your voice quivered.
He nodded quick, "Then lets change that. What's your name." You bit your bottom lip before telling him.
"Now, I can defend you from Thanos. He won't do anything to do." He ended with your name, it sounded angelic coming from his mouth.
"I'm sorry... I just... can't." You let go of his hands, fully set on walking away. But, he stopped you. He grasped your shoulder.
"Please don't go. I'll stop talking about it, I swear." He pleaded. He truly just wanted to be with you, he was content with you.
And you were with him.
You closed your eyes, shook your head. You fought off any kind of objection. "Okay."
The two of you talked and talked, time ran past. You no longer seemed to worry about the games, just that you knew you wanted to stay with Dae-Ho.
Until, the large doors opened and the pink guards once again announced a vote.
You said a quick 'goodbye' to Dae-ho, hoping the games wouldn't continue. Even if you never saw him again, at least he would be alive.
------------------------------------------
Much to your dismay, the games would continue another round. The vote wasn't even close this time. It was almost relieving, knowing that your vote was not the determining factor.
Once again, the lights went out to signify the night. You noticed teams were huddling together for protection, taking shifts and keeping watch. It was getting more serious as each hour went by. You could not find rest, feeling extremely uneasy.
While you tried to find some sort of reassurance in Thanos, he was fast asleep. You decided to take your chance and go see Dae-Ho. Just as he had done for you.
You knew the general area where his group was, but couldn't make out specific people in the dark. Not from your distance.
You racked up the nerve to quietly shuffle over. Your socks helping to muffle any noise.
"Shh, someone is coming." You heard a man whisper, it was 456. You could see the large numbers next to the 'O' on his jacket.
"I-is Dae-Ho with you..." You ask, shakily.
"And what do you want with him?" A man next to 456 spoke, defensively.
"I- Hes my friend, I need to talk to him." You tried, fiddling with your fingers.
"Yeah, Sure he is. You're probably trying to get in and take one of us out, huh!" The man 390 rose, acting like he was ready to fight.
You stepped back, "No, really, I swear I'm not!"
You heard your name, a confused Dae-Ho crawled out from under a bed. "Dae-Ho, please tell them in not trying to kill any of you."
"What?" He was still weary from sleep, rubbing his eyes. Once he saw the position you and 390 were in, He quickly stepped between the two of you.
"No, No, she wouldn't do that. Really, whatever shes saying she's telling the truth." Dae-Ho came to your rescue.
"Can we talk Dae-Ho?" You stepped closer to him, both of your hands gently resting on his arm. He nodded rapidly, stepping away from his group.
The two of you found a cluster of abandoned beds, and sat on the floor between them
"Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?" He looked you over for any visible infliction's.
"No, no I'm fine..." You pulled your knees to your chest. "I just wanted to see you." You felt silly once it left your lips.
His face flushed beet red, you could even tell in the dark. His hair falling in his face made you reach a hand out and brush it back. "O-oh"
"You never told me what you think the next game is, Dae-Ho." You needed a distraction.
He shook his head, like he was getting some thoughts out. "I have no idea... I just hope its an easy one. Gi-Hun, uh 456, said that they've already played Tug-of-war, Marbles, and some kind of glass stepping game. So, uh, I would assume none of those would repeat."
"I'm glad I missed Tug-of-war... That would mean the number of survivors would be half..." You thought.
He changed the subject, beginning with your name. "What's wrong? I know you said you wanted to see me, but, I guess I don't understand why."
"Dae-Ho, I don't really know why either. I just, wanted to be with you. I feel safe with you. I feel like I'm alone anytime you walk away..." You blinked away a stray tear.
Dae-Ho was lost in thought, he had thought his feelings weren't reciprocated. Maybe they were after all?
He didn't have time to speak, because you have lounged yourself forward in a burst of confidence. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pushed him to the floor. He was laid on his back with you on top of him, as you pressed a hard kiss to his lips.
His eyes widened, his body went rigid. When you pulled away to look at him, he stammered. "I-I, Uhm."
At his reaction you pulled away quickly, "I'm so sorry, I thought-"
"Can you please do that again." He was now giddy, a fat smile on his face. Excitement radiated out of him. "A-are you sure.. You seemed so..."
"No, no, you just caught me off guard, please, please kiss me again." He scrambled to a sit, hoping you would come closer again.
With a refound joy, you moved closer. This time you went slow, making sure to bask in the moment. You once again wrapped your arms around Dea-Ho's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.
"You're perfect.." He mumbled against your lips. Though, he felt something wet on his face. He pulled away, his eyes soft, "Whats wrong?"
You sniffled, "Promise me. Promise me, that after everything is over, that we will find each other." You asked, pressing your cheek against his.
"I swear it, I swear we will meet after the games." He leaned in for another kiss.
------------------------------------------
"Welcome to your third game. The game you will be playing is Mingle."
Okay, this one seemed safe. You had a large group, this can work. You tried to be positive, you had someone to look forward to after the game.
"Heyyy, we'll be mingling together. Doesn't that sound like so much fun?" Thanos went on, trying to hype everyone up. The only one who was just as high as him was Nam-Gyu. It worried you that he wasn't fully aware of his surroundings, but at least he wasn't on your tail about everything.
"Please step onto the center platform. When the game starts, the platform will begin to rotate, and you will hear a number. You must form groups of that size, go into the rooms, and close the door within 30 seconds."
You nodded, understanding the rules. Everyone gathered to the platform. You noticed groups staying together, huddling close.
While following Thanos, you passed Dae-Ho's group, you caught his eye and gave him a small salute. It seemed the two of you now had an inside joke.
"Let the game, begin."
At the jump and pull of the platform, you almost lost your balance. You reached a hand out and held onto your brother. He looked over at you, for a split second he actually seemed like your brother. He was there for you.
That's until a muffled snort came from Nam-Gyu. Thanos pushed your hand off, laughing at you.
You sighed and thought of a smart remark, but the platform stopped spinning and a 'Ten' rang out.
Thanos laughed loudly, "We needa four!!" He screamed, shaking his face all about.
"Were four!" A man yelled back, and Thanos took off running. Your eyes widened and you ran after him. "Run, Hurry!" You yelled at Se-Mi, who had stopped to grab Min-Su.
Luckily everyone had made it to the room, just as the door shut the timer went off. The door locked shut. You peaked out of the doors small slit. You didn't see Dae-Ho. A good sign.
Multiple gunshots rang out, each making your body jolt.
"Ha Ha! My family! We did it!" Thanos bantered, clapping some of the men on their backs.
When the doors finally opened again, you looked around. You looked and looked for Dae-Ho. Finally sighing in relief when you saw him. He ran over to you.
"You're okay, thank God!" He hugged you, you held him tight.
You swallowed hard, "It's not over yet. I'll find you after the next round!" You said, quickly finding Thanos again.
"Yeahhhh! Easyyy!" Him and Nam-Gyu joked back and forth. They started dancing to the music as the platform started rotating again.
'Four'
Thanos stopped and looked at his group for a minute. "Gyeong-su, you're with me!" He grabbed his hand, pulling him.
"Damn!" Nam-Gyu said, gripping your arm and pulling you. While you were happy to be chosen, you were worried for Min-su and Se-Mi.
"Lets goooo!" Thanos yelled once we were all in the room.
"Thanos what was that! Gyeong-su over me!" You pointed your finger at him.
"I swear I thought I was pulling you! Besides, you gotta stop running your mouth. You made it, you're fine!"
You couldn't believe what he was saying. Sure, he talked a lot about leaving you. But it was always just talk? Right?
The door opened once again, you were thankful to be away from Thanos. Your new objective was to find Dae-Ho now.
This time, the second you saw him- you ran to him. You no longer cared about what Thanos thought, nor what he'd do.
"I'm so happy to see you." Dae-Ho mumbled into your hair, which his face had been shoved into right after you ran into his arms.
"I have to stay with you, Thanos tried to leave me. I can't make it with him." Dae-Ho didn't hesitate, and pulled you over to his group.
Though, Thanos didn't like that. "Yo, brotha. What're you doing with my sister!" He tried to shove Dae-Ho, but he was bigger and stronger.
The platform started to spin.
"Leave her alone, you obviously cant take care of your sister." He ushered you behind him.
"I don't know what you're talking about bro! I save her, shes only alive because of me and Nam-Gyu!" He argued, leaving out the crucial part of information where he wasn't the one who grabbed you.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I will keep her safe now, you can mind your own business and get along with Nam-Gyu."
They continued to yell and argue over the carousel's music, it was difficult to hear them. Until,
'Three'
Thanos gripped one of your arms, Dae-Ho held another.
"Thanos, let go!" You yelled, trying to pull from his grasp.
It was chaotic, screaming was heard around you. "Dae-Ho, this way!" Two men yelled out, Dae-Ho twisted his head but didn't move.
Your stomach dropped. You couldn't be the reason Dae-Ho would die. You were all running out of time.
"Dae-Ho, go. Please! I'll go with Thanos and Nam-Gyu!"
"I'm not leaving you!" He was adamant about protecting you. Damned everyone else.
"If you don't go, we will all die. Time is running out!" Dae-Ho battled internally, you let go of his hand.
"Go! It's okay, I'll see you in a minute!"
He didn't want to leave, he couldn't. But you made him. When he slowly walked backwards, you let out a relived sigh. You then turned to run with Thanos. Nam-Gyu was already in a room, his yelling ushering you two forward.
It was going to be okay, The three of you in a room. Everything was fine. There was time.
Until, Nam-Gyu moved out of the way... Gyeong-su was behind him... There was already two in the room. Thanos ran in, not thinking twice.
Your running came to a stop right outside of the door. Where Thanos himself had closed it on you.
A "NO!" Was heard from across the room. It was Dae-Ho. He tried to come to you, but he was too far.
Player 456 and player 001 were pulling him into a room. Forcing the door shut. You could see Dae-Ho looking out of the door slit, his hands peaking out as well.
You didn't turn to see what Thanos might have been doing. You didn't care. Not anymore.
You just wanted your last moment to be looking at the most handsome man you'd ever met. His soft eyes were filled with tears as he watched you.
You weren't upset, not scared, not nervous. Not anymore.
It would all be over soon.
You gave him one last salute before a loud bang rang out.
A/N- Not going to lie ya'll, I ate that up. But I still love hearing y'all's constructive criticism! Please LMK if you want to be added to my tag list, TYSM for reading!
Dae-Ho Taglist- @fuzzyscissorsmakerpie-blog @thethreeeyed-raven
#fanfic#fem reader#squid game#dae ho x reader#squid games#kdrama#x reader#dae ho#squid games season 2#squid game x reader#kang daeho#daeho#Kang daeho x reader#daeho x reader#kang x reader#squid games imagine#squid games x reader#canon divergence#canon divergent au#did I miss any tags#ugh I hate tags#DAE HO IS SO CUTE#i love him#adorable#he's too precious for this world i LOVE HIM đđđđ#fluff#angst#ngl so sad#too tired to spell check#too tired to even post on ao3
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a bite of luxury
summary: you decide to look for a sugar mommy and stumble across this strange girl that seems to have more to hide
tags: sugarmommy!ellie, rich!ellie, vampire!ellie (yep, we got it all) alcohol, reader is poor lmao, reader uses she/her and is referred to as a girl once or twice, no smut in this one sorry gotta establish the world first
word count: ~8k
a/n: it's been so long since i posted a fic lol working full time and trying to finish my book is killing my schedule BUT i hope y'all like this this was my fiancee's idea and i'm running with it i got a LOT of plans for this one - plans i think y'all are gonna love
also the drawing in the cover is made by @nramv seriously go check out their work they're so talented!!
if you wanna be added to my tag list just lmk!
You hadnât been searching for a sugar mommy.Â
Truthfully, when your best friend had sent you the link, you had dismissed it immediately. She had been joking about it for months, talking about how much easier it would be if you just found a nice older woman to take care of you. You hadnât even opened the link - you only rolled your eyes, replied with a middle finger emoji, and left it at that.Â
And yet things kept piling up. The stack of bills on your kitchen counter was growing to a concerning height, a mountain of unanswered responsibilities that was getting harder to ignore. Your landlord kept calling you - you no longer answered, just watched the phone ring until it finally stopped and ignored the increasingly angrier voicemails. Your apartment was an absolute disaster; you could never be bothered to clean it, because by the time you got home from working both of your jobs, you only had enough energy to eat a bowl of leftovers and promptly pass out in bed.Â
The link kept popping up in your mind, each bill in your mailbox a gentle reminder. You found yourself scrolling all the way up the text chain to find it again during sleepless nights. So many times you would only stare at it, your thumb hovering over the blue letters, before you closed the chat and threw your phone down.Â
It was stupid, of course. But as time went on, the idea of letting yourself get buried alive under a mountain of debt - of getting evicted from your apartment and having to crash on your friendâs couch - seemed all the more stupid.Â
So, late on a Thursday night, after you had had another anxiety attack staring down at your bank account, you went back up the text chain, and you clicked the link.Â
www.seeking.com
It didn't take long for the messages to start coming in. You should have been flattered, honestly - you had at least a handful of people in your messages practically begging you for the honor of paying your fucking rent - but you really just felt like you were playing a part that you hadn't even read the script for. You had curated your profile with all the things that made you appear more cultured than you actually were: going to museums and pondering over Baroque art and reading poetry over a pretentious cup of coffee. Sure, these were all things you had done - you had photo proof, after all - but somehow you didn't recognize yourself. It felt like you were looking at pictures of a stranger living a life you wanted but couldn't reach.Â
Most people were fine - charming, even. You got maybe one or two that felt like they would lure you into their sex dungeon to murder you, but that was expected with any dating site. You even went on a few dates, scrounging up the nicest dress you owned and getting pampered at a five-star restaurant or going for a ride on an older womanâs personal yacht. One person even took you for a helicopter ride, which was fun but she was a little too handsy on the first date to warrant a second.Â
One name kept popping up though, a name that was becoming far too familiar in your notifications.Â
ellie: meet me at 8 <3Â
When she first messaged you, you had thought she was like you: somebody searching for a partner to pay their bills. Her pictures didn't exactly scream sugar mommy material. Her first picture was just a normal selfie taken outside; she wore a worn out leather jacket, her short hair tangled from the wind and green eyes squinting in the sunlight. She had stupid pictures of mushrooms and candid shots of her browsing a science museum, looking far too excited in front of a t-rex skeleton. Hell, in most of her pictures she looked like she was wearing clothes she had found at a thrift store.
You had thought she was like you, until she sent you a picture inside her fucking Rolls-Royce.Â
âFuck,â you audibly cursed into the quiet of your room. You had been talking for a few days, and she had begun to do that - sending you small selfies throughout the day. In the last one, she had taken a picture in front of the mirror at the gym, flicking off the camera, her lean muscles glistening with sweat. Before that, it had been a blurry picture of her dog, Riley - a huge German Shephard - splayed on her back at a park, leaves stuck in her fur.Â
So, yeah, when you found out Ellie was not only rich, but rich enough to casually have a Royce, you were more than a little surprised.Â
The selfie was cute, you couldnât deny that. Her hair was wind-swept, catching in those long ass eyelashes. Ellieâs nose was scrunched up, freckles popping against her cheeks, holding up a peace sign.Â
She was fucking adorable and you already knew it. But seeing her worn out leather jacket and messy hair against black and white leather seats that looked like they, alone, cost more than your entire apartment complex combined - it was a little jarring.Â
And when she asked you out on a date soon after - after finding out she wasnât Iike you but rather searching for someone like you - how could you say no?Â
Ellie offered to pick you up - like a gentleman, she had said - but frankly, you werenât quite convinced yet that she wasnât some blood-thirsty pervert trying to lure you into her dungeon, so you politely declined. Instead, in your nicest dress and heels you hardly wore because they pinched your toes, you called an Uber.Â
You had never been to this side of town. You had plugged in the address Ellie gave you - had double and triple checked it while your awkwardly chatty Uber driver tried asking you about what you do for a living - but the streets here were so unfamiliar you may as well have been in another city. You looked at the foreign buildings rising up around you, large windows giving you a glimpse of the life inside them. People were sitting outside in the chilly air, laughing over wine and dinner. Looking at them - with perfectly sculpted hair and clothes you would have to spend several entire paychecks on - you felt like a cheap impersonator dressed up in a costume.Â
The Uber pulled up in front of a hotel, and your heart stopped. Surely, this wasnât where Ellie had sent you - leading you to some fucking hotel room when you hadnât even met yet?Â
You turned to the driver, your home address at the edge of your tongue, when the car door opened.Â
You had practically been leaning against the door to peer out the window, and nearly lost your balance when it was suddenly gone without warning. You looked up, ready to yell at whatever pretentious prick in Prada was trying to fuck with you - but your voice died in your throat.Â
Ellie was shorter than you thought she'd be, honestly. In all her pictures, she had this commanding energy, like she would tower over you in person.Â
Which, to be fair, she was. She had her arm propped on the doorframe above your head, leaning over so she could meet your eyes. Her hair was pushed back from her face, a few stray strands falling over her forehead, and she was looking at you with an intensity that hadn't quite translated through her pictures.
Ellie smiled - that adorably crooked smile you had seen in all her selfies - and said, âHi.âÂ
And the only word you were able to get your mouth to form was, âFuck.âÂ
Ellie blinked at you for a moment - long enough that you could feel the flush creeping up your neck and were ready to walk home if you had to - before she finally laughed. That wasnât like what you had expected either; she had this deep, rough laugh, almost like she was trying to hold it in.Â
She looked up at you through her lashes - you tried to ignore the way your heart inexplicably skipped - and said, âIâll take that as a compliment?â Her voice tilted up at the end like it was a question. Ellie ducked her head down further, looking past you to meet the driverâs eyes, and pulled cash from her back pocket. With her most charming smile, she handed it to the driver and said, âThanks for getting her here safe.âÂ
You didnât see how much money she gave him, but after she took your hand and guided you out of the car, you turned back just in time to see his grin before he sped off.Â
âThanks for coming out.â You looked back at Ellie and found yourself speechless once again. (You, thankfully, were able to hold in the expletive this time.) The worn out jacket that had featured in just about all of her pictures was missing, replaced instead by a pristine, white satin shirt, the top few buttons undone to expose a sliver of collarbone and a gold chain beneath. Despite the chill in the air, she had a classy black jacket hanging from her arm as though it were an accessory. Ellie smiled and looked down, licking her lips before saying, âYouâre quite the sight for sore eyes.â
You tried to smile at her but found that your eyes kept flitting behind her, looking at the looming monstrosity of the hotel. It was a nice hotel - the kind that had a huge fountain right in front of it and a chandelier in the lobby that sparkled through the window - but it was a hotel nonetheless. Despite the set in your jaw, traitorous tears stung the corners of your eyes; you wanted to kick yourself for actually thinking that Ellie might be different.Â
Ellie followed your gaze over her shoulder, her smile dropping, before she quickly turned back to you with panic in her eyes. She stumbled over her words as though her tongue werenât cooperating: âShit, Iâm sorry, this looks really bad doesn't it?â She grimaced and squeezed your hand she was still holding, scratching awkwardly at the back of her head with the other. âFuck, this isnât the first impression I wanted. I could promise it's not what it looks like, but maybe it'd be better if I just showed you?â
You honestly did think about telling her to fuck off. She was a complete fucking stranger that you only really knew from a dating app, and she was trying to lure you into a hotel in a part of town you were unfamiliar with - really, only an idiot would follow her.Â
But she was looking at you with wide green eyes, the lights around you shining back like stars. While searching for the constellations, you found yourself saying, âOkay.â You blinked, pulled from a trance, and added, âBut you should know, I do have a taser in my bag.âÂ
That pulled a shocked laugh from Ellieâs lips. She gently tugged on your hand, pulling you towards the door, and said, âSmart girl.âÂ
You knew that the hotel was outside of your price range because a perfectly groomed doorman opened the door for you, waving you inside with a gloved hand. You didnât take much time to process the interior - the chandelier was just as grand as it had seemed from outside and elaborate columns rose to the ceiling - because Elllie was pulling you towards the elevators. It was like she wanted to ignore the fact that she had brought you to a hotel at all. You couldnât decide if that was reassuring.Â
In the empty elevator, you gently drew your hand back and leaned against the wall opposite her. You tried to ignore looking at the way her pinstripe slacks hugged the curves of her thighs, the fabric straining when she propped one booted foot on the wall behind her.Â
âSo,â you started in a desperate attempt to fill the awkward silence, âif youâre not leading me into a seedy hotel room on the first date, then what are we doing?âÂ
âOkay, one,â Ellie said, chuckling, âthis is anything but a seedy hotel. And two, what kind of a date would it be if I ruined the surprise?âÂ
âAnd what if I donât like surprises?â you countered.Â
Ellie grinned. âI think youâll like this one.âÂ
When the elevator doors opened, Ellie held her hand out to you as though it were a question. You hesitated for only a moment before placing your hand back in hers and letting her lead you out into open air.Â
You nearly choked on a gasp.Â
The bar itself was beautiful - fairy lights stretched above your head, twinkling like stars and casting the rooftop in a warm glow. Wooden tables and plush couches were spread artfully around the space, far enough apart to provide the patrons scattered about with some privacy.Â
The bar was beautiful - but the view was fucking breathtaking.Â
The city stretched out beyond the railings, open in a way you had never seen before. The skyline rose around you, each building shining like its own little galaxy amidst a sea of stars. The city lights blocked out the actual stars - a fact that never failed to piss you off - but you could see the crescent of the moon rising over the city, casting a quiet glow like a veil.Â
You looked back at Ellie, and whatever your face held made her grin. She leaned in just enough so that her murmur was for your ears only: âSo, was I right?âÂ
You blinked, momentarily distracted by her proximity - she smelled intoxicating, spicy and warm with a hint of tobacco beneath - before you finally said, âWhat?âÂ
Ellie snorted, breaking whatever spell she had put you under. âThe surprise,â she said, leaning away enough for your head to clear. âWas I right?âÂ
You bit the inside of your cheek, pursing your lips as though you had to think about it. You couldnât take your eyes away from the skyline stretched before you.Â
You finally said, âThat depends on how good the drinks are.âÂ
When Ellie laughed, her eyes crinkled in the corners, her nose scrunching. It was a full, rich sound, hanging in the air above your head like helium. It made something in your chest tighten, and you wanted nothing more than to hear it again.Â
She squeezed your hand, a twinkle in her eye, and said, âThe old-fashioned's to die for.âÂ
You pursed your lips again to hide your smile.
Ellie didnât bother checking in with the host, simply shot her a smile and a wave as you walked by - you tried to bite back a giggle when you saw the hostâs face turn red, her eyes tracking Ellie as she led you to a table right along the edge of the railing. She pulled the chair out for you - âSuch a gentleman,â you laughed - before taking the seat opposite you.
As she waved over a waiter, you took a moment to lean your head over the railing. It was made entirely of glass, giving you a clear view of the city below. You could hear the distant sound of traffic, cars racing below you like shiny beetles, but it was like it was coming from a different world altogether. Everything seemed impossibly, wonderfully small from up here.Â
You looked up at the sound of your name to find a groomed waiter wearing a fucking waistcoat standing before you. Ellie was looking at you with laughter in her eyes, her lips twitching.Â
âShit, sorry,â you said, immediately flinching at your own curse. You suddenly couldnât remember the proper etiquette in a fancy bar, feeling out of place and underdressed even in your nicest outfit. You looked between Ellie and the waiter, wracking your brain for any kind of drink that wasnât a trashy cocktail youâd find at a dive bar.Â
Seeing you floundering, Ellie gave you a reassuring smile and said, âDo you like wine?âÂ
Relief washed over you as you nodded. Turning back to the waiter, Ellie ordered something that you couldnât even hope to pronounce, charm lifting the corner of her mouth. She spoke to the waiter with the steady ease of familiarity, laughing at some inside joke; you briefly wondered just how often Ellie came to this bar. Surely, a nice place like this - at the very precipice of the world, looking down at the stars - wouldnât be a regular stop on anyoneâs schedule, but Ellie and the staff spoke like old friends.Â
When the waiter left, tussling Ellieâs hair playfully, she turned back to you and the awkwardness of a first date finally set in. Sure, you had been texting Ellie every day for a week now, but you still hardly knew the girl. You knew she liked mushrooms and hiking. You knew that most of her clothes were from the thrift store even though she could afford any designer brand she wanted. You knew her favorite video game was Dishonored. But nothing you knew was enough for a relationship.Â
But you weren't exactly looking for love, were you?Â
After a moment of silence, Ellie cleared her throat, looking out over the city. âIt's nice out here.âÂ
You snorted before you could stop yourself, covering your mouth; it didn't cover the laughter in your eyes. You said, âYou're really talking to me about the weather?â
Ellie opened her mouth, an indignant sparkle to her eye, before shutting it again. It was like she was malfunctioning, opening and closing her mouth yet no sound came out. She furrowed her brows, looking at you as though you were something new and interesting, before finally chuckling, looking away. âYeah, I-I guess I am.â When she looked back up at you, her eyes were surprisingly sheepish. âNot making a great first impression, am I?â
You couldn't stop the smile that crept up to your eyes. You leaned closer, propping your chin in your hand, and said, âI think you're doing okay so far.âÂ
Ellie laughed that wondrous laugh again, her nose scrunching up, and the cord in your shoulders loosened.Â
âOkay,â she sighed, her eyes still alight with residual laughter. âOkay, damn. Tell me about yourself.âÂ
âWell now this just sounds like a job interview.âÂ
Ellie threw her hands up in mock frustration, trying to stifle her own grin. âOkay, fuck, knock me down again! You're obviously an expert, so show me how it's done.âÂ
She leaned back and crossed her arms, looking at you expectantly, and it was the perfect moment for your drinks to arrive. Ellie did, in fact, order an old-fashioned. The waiter set two wine glasses on the table, producing a bottle seemingly from thin air. He held it out, explaining to you in rehearsed prose the year, acidity, and complexity in words that passed straight through you. You nodded along even as you didn't process a single word he said.Â
When he left, you turned back to Ellie and said, âHow did you find this place?âÂ
Ellie took a sip of her drink. The lights of the city danced in the amber glass. âJust an old haunt of mine, I guess.âÂ
You took a sip of the wine, taking the distraction. It was warm on your tongue, tasting of wood and fruit and something spicy just underneath. The wine you usually drank was the stuff you could find in your nearest grocery store, often tasting concerningly like bug spray and bought with whatever tips you had managed to scrape together from work. It was usually shared with a friend on your kitchen floor, the walls and thoughts spinning over your head.Â
You much preferred wine like this: The taste of warmth and fire on your tongue, the cool air brushing your shoulders at the edge of the sky, and a beautiful person sitting across from you.
When Ellie lowered her glass, you could see amber droplets of whiskey clinging to her lips before her tongue darted out to catch them. You tore your eyes away, but her smile said that she had caught you staring. A chill ran up your spine that you were sure was just from the cold.Â
Seeing you shiver, Ellie wordless reached behind her where she had tossed her jacket over the back of her chair. Standing, she rounded the table only for a moment, only long enough to place the coat over your shoulders. Her hands lingered there for a second too long before she retreated, sliding back into her seat as though she had never moved.Â
âSo, why are you here?â she finally said.Â
You pulled the jacket around your shoulders, distracted by the smell of it. The same smell that must be her perfume clung to it, spiced and warm like an open fire, but something else clung to the fabric too. It was strangely metallic, sharp and intoxicating, and you couldnât quite put your finger on it. It was shockingly warm against your skin.Â
âIâm here,â you said, raising a brow and ignoring her real question, âbecause you sent me this address and told me to meet you here at eight wearing my nicest dress.âÂ
The corner of Ellieâs lips quirked, a grin she was trying to hide. She clasped her hands, leaning across the table so you could smell the whiskey on her breath. âAnd you agreed to meet a stranger at a seedy hotel,â she murmured, mocking your remark from earlier. Her grin revealed itself when your cheeks flushed. âBut why are you here - what are you seeking?âÂ
You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head. âThatâs kind of a dumb question, donât you think? Itâs pretty obvious why Iâm on the app.â You cocked your head, leaning across the table, feeling a strange thrill when her eyes flashed. Your heart fluttered at the proximity, and you couldnât remember when you had become so easily starstruck. âThe real question, Ellie, is why are you?âÂ
Ellieâs eyes darkened, and you werenât sure if you just imagined her eyes flicking down to your lips. She looked back up at you through her lashes, her voice rough when she said, âThatâs a third date kind of question.âÂ
Your eyebrows shot up. âWhat makes you so sure youâll get a third date?âÂ
Ellie tilted her head, a slow smile pulling at her lips, and said, âCall it a hunch.âÂ
The waiter came to check on you, appearing at your shoulder like a ghost. You hastily retreated, leaning back in your chair as though the electricity in the air had shocked you, and took a sip of wine that was more than a little overzealous. You tried to choke it down as Ellie waved the waiter away with that heartstopping crooked smile. What happened to you? Since when were you so easily charmed by freckles, green eyes, and smart-ass comments? You couldn't remember the last time you had been so infatuated during a normal date, let alone one with these kinds of strings attached.Â
âSo you don't want to be in an interview,â Ellie said once the waiter was out of earshot. âI guess all my typical getting to know you conversations are out of the question.âÂ
âI didn't say that,â you countered, your throat still burning from your accidental wine waterboarding. âBut come on - what girl are you going to impress by asking her questions like âTell me about yourself,â or âWhy are you here?â or âWhy are you more qualified for this position?ââ
âOkay, okay, goddamn,â she said, laughing. Grabbing the wine bottle, she looked at you for permission before pouring you another glass.
You brought the glass up to your lips, taking a sip to hide your smile. The flush in your cheeks was surely from the wine and nothing else. âWhat about you?âÂ
âWhat about me?âÂ
âI hardly know you.â On one hand, that felt entirely untrue - but especially after this recent discovery, you really knew nothing about this girl. âTell me about you.âÂ
Ellie laughed that same rough laugh and your heart jumped. âOh, so you're allowed to be the interviewer.âÂ
You nodded, twirling the glass between your fingers and looking at her expectantly.Â
After a moment, Ellie rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair, but you could see the humor in her eyes. She downed the last of her old-fashioned and, like a good sport, said, âWhat do you want to know?â
Turns out, there was a lot to know - more than a simple dating app would tell you. Ellie had an older sister, Sarah, who lived in Dallas. Her dog was named after her childhood best friend. Her jacket wasn't thrifted after all, but had been her dad's. Speaking of which, she used to go hunting with him every season (âI haven't been in years, though,â she said, her eyes distant). On the weekends, she'd go to antique stores to look for art and trinkets to fill her house - her favorite antiques were from the 17th century. She hated horror movies and was a sucker for a good romance.Â
In return, you caved and answered her pressing questions. You told her about your best friend - Ellie laughed when you told her that your friend had sent you the link to the app in the first place. You told her about your favorite show that you binge-watched whenever you felt like you were spiraling. You did not tell her about your apartment that was probably the size of her closet or the fact that you'd have to watch your budget after taking the Uber tonight, not to mention the extra $30 Uber to get home later. You did tell her about your family, and a strange, unexplained sadness crept into the creases around her mouth. You did tell her about your job, but didn't mention the second one you worked to afford groceries. You told her you were hoping for a real, human connection, yet didn't mention that you couldnât imagine finding it in a fucking sugar mommy.Â
All too soon, the wine bottle was empty and your chest was comfortingly warm. The lights strung across the bar danced above your head like fuzzy stars, and Ellie's smile was the brightest amongst them. Her glass was still empty, her wine glass dry, and yet her eyes told you she was intoxicated by something far stronger.Â
âSorry,â you said, giggling despite yourself. âI didn't mean to drink it all.âÂ
âDon't worry about it, darling,â she said, her voice silky smooth, reminding you of melted chocolate sliding down your throat. She tilted her glass, letting the remnants of melting ice clink against the side. âI wanted to make sure I could drive home okay.âÂ
The waiter arrived then, pulling the bill from his pocket and handing it to Ellie. You couldn't read the number upside down, not through the haze of the wine, but the number of digits made your stomach clench. Ellie dropped a black card into the folder and handed it back to the waiter.Â
âHow much do you want me to Venmo you?â you asked when she turned back to you. You clenched your hands in the hem of your dress, already calculating the extra shift you'd have to pick up to afford it.Â
Ellie tilted her head, her brows furrowed. âNothing,â she said, as though it were obvious.Â
âThat wasn't exactly a cheap bottle, Ellie,â you laughed. âLet me give you something.âÂ
Ellie hummed, propping her chin in her hand and looking at you with those same intense eyes; it sent a dangerous shiver down your spine. âI like when you say my name.â
You blinked at her. âExcuse me.âÂ
âI want to hear it again. That's how you can repay me.â
You rolled your eyes. âEllie, I-âÂ
âOkay, now we're even,â she interrupted, smiling that crooked grin that you had started to crave. The waiter returned with her card and Ellie produced cash from her pocket, handing it to the waiter directly. He thanked her profusely before making his exit, grinning. When Ellie looked at you again, you were still watching her expectantly, dumbfounded. She finally rolled her eyes. âSeriously, what kind of date would I be if I made you pay?â
âYou're not making me, I'm offering.âÂ
âAnd I'm saying no.â Ellie stood, straightening her shirt; when she tugged at it, the collar fell a bit, exposing sharp collarbones beneath.Â
Rounding the table, she offered a hand to you, pulling you gently to your feet. You pulled her jacket tighter around yourself, knowing you needed to give it back yet unwilling to part with it just yet.Â
Taking your arm, Ellie leaned in close enough that your breath caught in your throat and said, âI know why I found you on Seeking, okay? So, if it's alright with you, let me spoil you. Even if that just means one bottle of wine.âÂ
You laughed, but it sounded breathy even to your own ringing ears. âOne very expensive bottle of wine.â
Ellie shrugged, a sparkle in her eye. âIt's a small price to pay for your company.â
You were silent in the elevator, but you held on to her arm as though afraid to let go. You couldn't figure out why, but something in you urgently wanted nothing more than to be close to her. You couldn't remember the last time you had felt such a pull from somebody.Â
Back on the street, the lights of the city seemed so much brighter than they had before. Ellie released your arm, turning to face you, and there was a strange pinch between her brows that you couldn't translate.Â
âDo you want me to call you an Uber, or do you want me to take you home?â she asked, and your brain short-circuited. When you could do nothing but stammer, tripping over your own tongue, Ellie laughed. There was no mockery behind it, only quiet, bright amusement. âI meant I can drive you to your apartment so you don't have to drunkenly sit in an awkward Uber that smells sickeningly sweet and the driver tries to make mind-numbing small talk.âÂ
Your sigh of relief came out more like a laugh.Â
Ellie tilted her head and stepped closer to you, her hand reaching out to graze your fingers, and that sigh was sucked right back into your lungs. Being so close to her made your head spin. Her breath fanned against your cheeks, smelling of warm whiskey, when she said, âUnless you want to come to my place?â
It had the uncertain tilt of a question, and Ellie wouldn't quite meet your eyes.Â
âWe don't have to do anything,â she continued in a rush. She scratched anxiously at the back of her head, a nervous laugh slipping between her lips. âWe can just sit and talk more. Or watch a movie - my dad had this huge collection. I'm not gonna - You know, I'm not going to do anything you don't want.â She finally interrupted herself with a groan, rubbing a hand over her eyes. âFuck, sorry, I wanted it to sound more suave than this.âÂ
And you would be a fucking idiot to go home with this impossible stranger. You had been taught better - never get into a stranger's car, and for the love of God, never let them take you to a second location. You could let her take you back to your apartment at least - you were admittedly incredibly tipsy and didn't particularly want to endure another ride with an annoyingly talkative Uber driver. You could go home, back to your claustrophobic, quiet apartment, and maybe - maybe - text Ellie about setting up a second date.Â
You were not stupid enough to go home with somebody on the first date.Â
Except clearly you were, because you took the hand that was still grazing your fingers and looked up at Ellie - the contours of her face were shockingly etched with insecurity. And your dumb mouth said, of its own volition, âOkay.â
You had expected something flashy, like what a wealthy person would own in a movie - like a penthouse overlooking the city with too-white walls and electric guitars hanging, unused, on the walls. Maybe she had walls completely made of windows so it felt like you were on a pedestal overlooking the world.Â
You hadn't expected a house that was older than your great-grandparents.Â
When Ellie pulled into the driveway, you were sure she was just pulling in someplace to turn around, that she had missed her turn somewhere. But she put her stupidly-expensive car into park and killed the engine, shooting you an awkward glance.Â
âSorry,â she said, chuckling. âI know itâs not much.âÂ
You could only look at her incredulously, speechless, before looking back up at the house before you. You couldnât even call it a house really - estate would be more fitting. Maybe mansion. Fuck, her house was the size of your apartment complex. It towered over you, three stories of intricate woodwork, warm brown beams wrapping around the structure like an elaborate skeleton. With beautiful eaves winding around the roof and an entire turret reaching for the moon, it looked like something that had stepped right out of some 1800s southern gothic novel.Â
Ellie cleared her throat, startling you from a trance. You looked back at her and, for some reason, couldnât stop yourself from laughing.
âShit, sorry,â you said, covering your mouth with your hand. âI just - Iâve just never seen anything like it.â When Ellieâs eyes clouded over with uncertainty, you added softly, âItâs beautiful. Besides, Ellie,â you added, laughing again, âânot muchâ doesnât really suit you.âÂ
Ellie opened and closed her mouth and yet no words came out. She was looking at you again as though you were something interesting - something new and exciting. Nobody had ever looked at you that way before, and the way your heart clenched at the sight was more than a little dangerous.Â
Ellie finally smiled, huffing out a laugh - your heart was pretty satisfied with how often you were able to make her laugh - and said, âDo you still want to come inside?âÂ
And, surprisingly, you said, âYeah, I do.âÂ
As Ellie got out, rounding the car to open your door for you, you discreetly checked that the taser was still in your bag. Sure, you had agreed to go home with a practical stranger, but you couldn't be too careful.Â
The porch steps creaked as she led you to the door - double doors (of course), with stained glass and twisting vines carved into the wood. When Ellie opened them, it felt like you were transported to a different time on an entirely different world.Â
The grand staircase caught your eye first - how could it not? Warm wooden steps covered in a blood red runner, a white banister winding up, those same vines that seemed to be the houseâs signature carved into it. You could see a large, stained-glass window at the landing before it curved to disappear to the second floor. Moonlight splintered through the window in broken relief.Â
As though in a trance, you wandered further into the house, walking to the fireplace situated right beneath the stairs. The wood stacked neatly inside was cold, untouched by a flame. There was a large mirror set atop the mantle, its gold frame a work of art alone. In the reflection, you could see the flush to your cheeks, and tried to convince yourself it was only from the cold. You still wore Ellieâs jacket, and you pulled it tight around your shoulders, as though it were a shield.Â
You watched Ellieâs reflection as she walked slowly towards you, a small smile gracing her lips. She came close enough to touch - close enough that you could feel her cool breath against the back of your neck - and yet she didnât put a hand on you.Â
âThereâs a lot more to see than the foyer,â she murmured, the words brushing your skin. âIf you still want.âÂ
And you couldnât stop your own smile as you turned back to her, your heart skipping at her proximity. âShow me.âÂ
She took your hand, her fingers shockingly cold, and led you into what must have been her living room - sitting room? Despite the fact that the house felt more like a museum - like you would get scolded for touching anything - the room was surprisingly cozy. A large, plush sectional was situated in front of another fireplace- this one also unblemished. Blankets and quilts were thrown over the couch and the accompanying chairs, leaving this time capsule looking strangely welcoming.Â
âOkay, I have to ask,â you said, turning back to Ellie. She was watching you carefully, gauging your reaction with soft eyes, and you lost your train of thought. You opened your mouth but no sound came out; you werenât sure if that was more or less embarrassing than the several curses you had said earlier in the night.Â
Ellie hummed, raising her hand as though she wanted to touch you. She stopped only inches away from your cheek and dropped her hand, saying, âIâm an open book.âÂ
You had to turn away to collect your thoughts, wandering across the room if just to catch your breath. The opposite wall was lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. You ran your fingers along the spines of vintage classics, an array of science books, and comics, enjoying the irony of seeing Savage Starlight in the middle of all this history. You picked up a copy to keep your hands busy.Â
âHow, um,â you started, stumbling over your words, âhow did you end up here?âÂ
Ellie hummed again, and you heard her footsteps following you. âHere as in this town, this country, this world? You gotta be a little more specific.âÂ
You sighed, giving in and turning to look at her. She kept a careful distance, standing a few feet away from you with her hands in her pockets. âYou know what I mean, smartass.â
Ellie chuckled, but her eyes had grown distant, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. She took a few more steps closer to you, looking at the comic book in your hands. On the app, she hadnât struck you as the type to get easily bashful, and yet she had proven you wrong a few times already.Â
âMy family lived here,â she finally said, quiet as a secret. You watched her carefully, jumping at the opportunity to stare at her without those intense eyes looking back at you. Her brow furrowed and she pressed her lips together as though she was in pain, her green eyes shining. âIt was just⊠passed down, I guess? Itâs kind of always been here ever since I can remember. Iâm not entirely sure when it became mine.âÂ
You tucked the comic book back into its spot between The Iliad and The Hitchhikerâs Guide to the Galaxy. You said absently, âHow old is this place anyway?â
âIt was built in 1816,â she said automatically, as though it were memorized.Â
âItâs an awfully big house for just one person.â You looked up at her through your lashes as she stepped closer - close enough that you could smell that same metallic warmth that seemed to cling to her.Â
âIt is,â Ellie murmured, smiling. She reached out again, and this time she allowed herself to touch you. Her cold fingers brushed against your cheek before she gently cupped your jaw, tilting your head so youâd look at her properly. Her green eyes were downright intimidating. âBut I keep good company.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, yet you couldnât convince yourself to look away. âIs that what you say to all the girls?âÂ
Ellie hummed, bracing her other hand on the bookshelf behind your head, and murmured, âNo, I donât.â She pressed in closer, her gaze dropping to your mouth, and you felt like your heart was going to leap from your throat. Ellie huffed out a laugh as though she could hear it pounding against your chest. When her thumb brushed your bottom lip, your lips parted on instinct. She didnât look away, transfixed on the point where her skin touched your mouth, and you almost didnât hear her when she said, âCan I?âÂ
And you had never been the kind of person to kiss on the first date, but she was looking at you with eyes hooded with want, her breath fanning against your cheeks. When she licked her lips, you couldnât stop your eyes from following the motion. Her lips glistened, parted and plump, looking so impossibly soft. Somehow, past your haze, you heard yourself say, âYes.âÂ
Ellie took her time in kissing you. She pressed you back gently, your shoulders pressing into the bookshelf behind you, and touched her nose to yours. She took a deep breath, breathing you in. Her hand was soft against your cheek, tilting your jaw up, and you hardly had to move to finally kiss her.Â
Ellie tasted just like she smelled - spicy and metallic, the old-fashioned still hanging on her tongue. Despite the cold of her hand on your cheek, her mouth was impossibly warm, her breath slipping between your lips; it was intoxicating in a way that the wine couldnât compare to. Her mouth moved against yours, soft and slow as a dance.Â
Your hands reached out as though of their own accord, circling her waist and gripping at the slippery silk of her shirt. She pressed in close, crowding you against the bookshelf; you could feel her chest pressing against you, her hips on yours, the line of her body against yours making your head spin. And when Ellieâs tongue pressed against your lips, a gentle request for access, you felt like youâd faint altogether.Â
Her tongue slipped between your teeth and you couldnât stop the breathy sound it pulled from your throat. You could feel that infuriating smile against your lips and suddenly wanted nothing more than to wipe it away. You balled her ridiculously expensive shirt in your hands and pulled her impossibly closer, nipping at her bottom lip, and you wanted to swallow her gasp.Â
Ellie pulled away, chuckling, but she didnât go far. She pressed a kiss to your cheek, her lips trailing down to your jaw, and she could probably feel your pulse jump beneath her tongue. You could hear the smile in her voice when she said, âDo you do this often?âÂ
Her teeth grazed the sensitive spot below your ear, and it took you a few moments before you could respond. âDo what?â Despite yourself - despite the way your fingers gripped her shirt, your head swimming and an unexplainable want burning in your veins - you couldnât help but laugh. âGo on a date with somebody I met on an app for sugar babies and go back to their ridiculously old mansion on the first date and-âÂ
You cut yourself off. You werenât sure exactly what was happening, and you were afraid that voicing it would break whatever spell you were under - whatever spell made this impossible womanâs touch feel like lightning.Â
But Ellie only laughed, biting at the spot where your neck met your shoulder. âYeah, that.âÂ
You shivered against her touch. âNo, Iâve never really done this.âÂ
âGuess Iâm just lucky.âÂ
Ellie kissed you again, only briefly, before she finally pulled away. She was grinning, her eyes sparkling with those same constellations; her face wasnât even flushed, making you feel embarrassed about your burning cheeks. You were panting, intoxicated from the night and wine and Ellie. Her absence felt like an ache, your body craving the feeling of her lips, her teeth, her hands. You were close to tugging her back in, your hands still gripping her shirt, but she gently untangled herself from you with a laugh.Â
âI want to keep going.â She paused, and then emphasized, âI really want to keep going. But you drank an entire bottle of wine, and Iâd be kind of a shitty host if I didnât offer you something to drink at least. Or are you hungry?âÂ
You were hungry, but it was the kind of hunger that food wouldnât satiate. Still, you let your hands drop back to your sides, feeling your senses return to you now that they werenât so tuned into Ellie - how she smelled, tasted, felt. When you laughed, it sounded breathy even to your own ears. âSome water would be nice.âÂ
âI can do that,â she said with a smile. âStay here.â She kissed you again, lingering for a few moments longer than needed, before she turned and disappeared down the hall, leaving you alone in this ridiculously old mansion.Â
With nothing else to keep yourself entertained, you did a slow lap around the room, eyeing the ironic blend of elegant antiques and silly trinkets that were so obviously Ellie. A cracked ivory trinket box sat on a shelf, intricate flowers engraved into the lid, set right next to a small figurine of an astronaut. Beautiful paintings lined the walls, signatures dating back to 1830 in elaborate script at the bottom, but there were also a few posters littered here and there - bands and video games.Â
You walked over to the mantle, your fingers grazing over the marble top. The logs inside were untouched, and you briefly wondered if sheâd light a fire soon to chase out the chill of autumn. A small jar filled with guitar picks sat at the corner, and you wondered if she really did have an electric guitar collection hidden around here somewhere. Your foot kicked an empty dog bowl, and yet Riley was nowhere to be found. Maybe Ellie took her to daycare when she knew sheâd bring a girl home. You nearly laughed at the idea.Â
Atop the mantle, hidden behind pictures of what must have been friends or family - hiking or traveling or laughing in somebodyâs backyard - there was another picture frame. It must have fallen, face down so that the picture inside was covered. You reached out, careful to not disturb any of the other frames, and picked it up. You were just going to fix it, set it up next to the others, but something in the image caught your eye. You plucked it from its home, bringing it closer, holding it up to the light to get a better look. For a long time, you couldnât figure out what you were looking at. Your heart hammered against your chest, your ears ringing, as though your body had figured it out before your brain did.Â
It was an old photograph, grainy and sepia, faded and frayed around the edges with age. It was the house, looking just like it did today - the huge windows shining in the sunlight, the intricate eaves and wrap-around porch perfectly polished and new. A family stood on the lawn in front of the house, looking awkward and stiff. Back then, cameras took several minutes to actually capture a photo, so people tended to look a little awkward from trying to hold the same expression for so long. But thatâs not what had caught your eye.Â
It was a small family - a weary looking dad and his two daughters, looking just a few years younger than you.Â
She looked a little different. Her hair was longer, falling in waves around her shoulders. She was definitely a few years younger, and she wore a sweet, full-length gown instead of a worn leather jacket.Â
You checked the date in the bottom corner at least five times, but there was no mistaking it. The person in the photo was undeniably Ellie, standing in front of this house in 1816.Â
tag list: @macaroni676 @ellstronaut @elliewilliamsmiller0 @elliescoolerwife @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @peejayurple @liliflowers-blog @filtered-sunlight @hobbybound
#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie willams x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x you#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x you#tlou smut#tlou 2 x reader#i hope y'all like this one cause i got a lot of plans for it
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welcome baaaack! i missed you so much
i've been here since forever and i remember a very long time ago that you promised us insecure chubby bucky. i never forget and i'm still waiting for him (when you get time for sure). i would love to read that whenever you right it! otherwise i'm really happy you're back again.
much love purple<3
Pairing: Insecure!Chubby!Chef!Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Word Count: 4,180
Summary: Bucky runs into his ex, who manages to mess with his head, bringing his insecurities to the surface again. His girl takes it upon herself to show him how perfect he is.
Warnings: 18+ content, bullying (sort of), fat shaming, negative self body image, insecurities, intrusive thoughts, mentions of cheating, a little crying, a little angst, smut, unprotected vaginal sex, cum, multiple orgasms
A/N: Nonnie, omg, you have been here a long time! I love and appreciate you so so much and I can't believe you stuck around for so long wow:"đđ Thank you so much for existing and for being here you're the reason I don't wanna leave againđđđ Here's one insecure chubby bucky for you, I hope you like this one and that I did a good jobđ Thank you again ilyyy, please enjoyxxđđ(y'all i think i forgot how to write smut what is wrong with me)
~
perfect to me
âIâm so sorry, baby, I have to run,â she told him after checking her phone, pecking his lips and taking quick steps down the aisle of the large store.
Bucky smiled, taking another fruit plate and placing it in their cart. His girl was such a hard worker and he couldnât be prouder.
It was going to be Christmas soon and his girl was still working hard so Bucky was going to make her the best holiday food sheâs ever tasted.
He was focused on picking the freshest cranberries when he heard a scoff, a very familiar one.
âHey, Ryan,â Bucky sighed, not really wanting to ruin his good mood, as he turned around to meet a face he knew too well.
âWhat does she owe you?â said Ryan, tilting his head with a smirk.
âWhat?!â
âThereâs no way this chick is seeing you. I figured she must owe you and is just paying her debt!â He smirked further, not even trying to hide his gloating when he saw that his words still had an effect on Bucky.
âMy relationship with her is none of your business.â Buckyâs voice was suddenly low as his eyes stared down at the contents of the cart.
âBut my relationship with you is.â Ryan put a finger under Buckyâs chin but the latter took a step away.
âWe donât have a relationship. You cheated on me, remember? I was too fat for you.â Buckyâs shaky voice moved nothing inside Ryan. If anything Ryan wanted more.
âAnd now youâre too fat for her.â
âShut up. She is nothing like you.â
âReally? Do you even know where she goes when she leaves you? Where she is right now, for example?â Ryan smirked.
âShe got called into work and had to run to the office.â Bucky knew he owed him nothing and if he was in his right mind he wouldnât have went through a conversation with Ryan at all, but he wasnât.
âHow are you still so naĂŻve?â He laughed heartily as if Buckyâs misery was actually amusing to him.
âLeave me alone.â Bucky tried to push the shopping cart and walk away, but Ryan stepped before him.
âI didnât know your publisher lived in an office.â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âShe leaves you to go fuck your publisher. You know him, black guy, sexily built, very handsome.â
The words left Bucky feeling lightheaded as the world seemed to twirl around him. Could history be repeating itself? No, not this time. His girl was not like that.
âI saw her coming to his building with him.â
âHowâd you even-â
âI wait tables in the restaurant across the street from his apartment. I didnât know she was with you but damn are you lucky you met me today!â Ryan laughed insensitively.
âItâs probably someone else.â
âI think I know what your publisher looks like.â
âYouâre lying,â Bucky chocked out, trying to get out of Ryanâs way.
âYou donât sound so sure about that.â Ryan tilted his head again with a smug smirk, poking Buckyâs tummy, âyou know why? Because deep down you know sheâs too sexy for you. Because you look at her and then at yourself and you canât figure out why sheâd want you. Because you know that sooner or later sheâs gonna get tired of your fat ass andââ
âMy life now is none of your business, Ryan. You left. You chose to go, so stay gone.â Buckyâs weak voice interrupted, shutting Ryan right up before he sped out of the store, leaving the groceries behind.
âYouâll come back to me when you see for yourself!â He shouted after Bucky, but he didnât stop nor turn back.
The questions he had raised in Buckyâs head, Bucky had no answers for them himself. Why was this sweet girl with him? What did she see in him? Anyone who met them thought the same thing: they didnât belong together. So what did she see differently? What was Bucky bringing to their relationship? Could he even satisfy her? Could he keep her fulfilled?
He thought the days where Ryan messed with his head were long gone but he was obviously mistaken. Ryan could still easily hurt him. He could still make him feel as large as an elephant yet smaller than an insect. The dagger heâd planted was in so deep that Bucky couldnât feel anything but the pain the stab brought.
~
His exâs words plagued his mind. They took over and drowned out his girlâs voice, pushing it to the background.
All of a sudden, Bucky was very aware of his size, of the way the couch made the slightest sounds under his weight, and the way his girl could fit her whole self on one of his thighs if she wanted to.
âBucky bear?â A hand on his cheek pulled him out of his thoughts.
Suddenly, he hated the words she nicknamed him with. Bear? Is that how big she thought he was?
âHmm?â
âI was asking if you wanna go shopping for last minute gifts with me tomorrow,â she repeated, smiling sweetly, her fingers brushing a few hairs back and behind Buckyâs ear as she yawned.
Buckyâs new cookbook became a best seller after one week of release and the publication house was throwing the amazing chef a party.
She couldnât be prouder and she wanted to support Bucky all the way. She loved Christmas and now it was going to be even better with this event added to their memories.
She was going to go all out for her man and he didnât even know it. It was going to be a huge surprise and she couldnât wait to make it happen.
âYeah, why not,â Bucky replied, faking a smile back.
âWhat were you busy thinking about?â Her thumb traced his stubbly cheek as she frowned worriedly.
For a wonderfully successful cook, Bucky didnât look so happy.
âYou,â he answered with the truth though his eyes didnât sparkle like they usually would at the thought of her.
âWhat about me?â Her smile returned as she stared lovingly at Buckyâs face.
âWhy are you with me?â Bucky couldnât hide the sorrow in his voice if he tried.
âWhat?â She sat up straight in his lap as her face fell.
âPlease donât make me repeat the question.â
âBuck, whereâs this coming from?â Her hands cupped both his cheeks.
âI just donât get it.â He shook his head, swallowing as his hands removed hers from his face.
âDonât get what?!â She placed her hands on Buckyâs chest instead, refusing to let him push her away.
âWhy youâre here!â
âIâm here because I love you, whatâs hard to get, baby?â
âDo you really love me?â
This was serious. Sheâs never seen her boyfriend look so broken.
âJames, whatâs going on?â
âAnswer the question, plum,â Bucky requested, the back of his fingers stroking over her cheek, knowing this was probably the last time he would get to touch her soft skin.
âOf course I love you!â
âThen why do you leave me to go meet Sam and then lie to me about it?!â Bucky unintentionally raised his voice.
âWâwhat?â
There were so many emotions overwhelming her and none of them was pleasant.
She was shocked, hurt and dejected. Bucky has never raised his voice at her before.
 âWhat were you doing together last night? And the night before and the night before that?!â
âBucky, youâve got it all wrong.â She shook her head, heartbroken that Bucky would think of her like that.
âPlease leave.â He slid her off his lap and stood up, turning his back to her.
âBucky.â Tears pricked her eyes.
âLeave, plum.â
âBucky, me and Sam wereââ
âIf you wonât leave then I will.â Bucky sped to the door, grabbing his jacket from where it was hanged.
The last thing he wanted was to cry in front of her too. Heâs already shown his weakness once; never again.
âBucky!â
He ignored her calls, ready to run out of the door and let his legs take him far away where heâd have to hear no lies and could no longer get hurt.
âJames Bucky Barnes, donât you dare walk out on me!â She blocked the door, preventing Bucky from exiting the apartment.
Her eyes glistened with yet to be shed tears as her heart pounded in her chest. The mere idea of losing Bucky for any reason terrified her more than anything else.
She loved the man with her heart and soul and would go to the ends of the Earth for his sake. Why couldnât he see that?
âI didnât wanna ruin the surprise but⊠your book is a best seller. Me and Sam were planning you a party to celebrate. We figured if we met at the restaurant itâd ruin the surprise so I saw him at his place after work.â
Bucky stared at her dumbly.
âYou can call Sam if you donât believe me.â
âOh.â Bucky felt like someoneâs just dumped a bucket of cold water over his head; felt like an absolute idiot, âoh, plum.â
âIâm sorry I kept it a secret, but Iâm not sorry I wanted to do something nice for the man I love.â A tear rolled down her cheek and her lower lip trembled, âand Iâm really sad with you for stalking me and doubting me like that. I didnât expect that from you, Bucky⊠and Iâm hurt.â
âSweet plum-â
âYou can leave now if you still want to.â She took quick steps to the bedroom, leaving Bucky at the door.
It wasnât often that she and Bucky fought and it was never something that couldnât be solved within an hour. He could never bear to see her upset, let alone let her go to bed mad at him.
âPlum,â Bucky softly knocked on her door, swallowing the lump stuck in his throat, âcan I please come in?â
But this was big.
Bucky has doubted her love for him. He has insulted her loyalty and ruined everything because of his insecurities and the poisonous words of a man who never cared for him.
She opened the door for him in a heartbeat, her face soaked in tears.
âNo, no, sweet plum.â Bucky took her in his arms, praying to the deities she wouldnât repel from his touch.
âYou pushed me out of your lap.â She sobbed, her chest heaving and her forehead pressed to his shoulder.
His accusations hurt but the fact that he pushed her away somehow hurt her more.
Bucky couldnât help but let his tears fall as well.
How could he be so thoughtless? She was the one good thing in his life and he almost let her go. No amount of restaurants he could open could make him feel as happy as a smile from her would.
He could write a library and collect every prize ever known to humankind, and she would still be the best thing Bucky has ever won over.
âIâm stupid, baby. Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry.â His hold tightened, engulfing her smaller frame in a desperate hug, âplease donât cry because of an idiot like me. Iâm sorry, sweet plum. Forgive me, baby.â
âWhyâd you do it?â Her sad eyes looked at him in question, full of confusion yet void of bitterness.
âI- sweet plum-â Bucky didnât know how to answer her question because now that he looked back, he could see how stupid it all was.
Why did he follow her for 3 consecutive nights while she went to meet Sam instead of just trusting her? Why did he choose to believe and trust in Ryanâs words and not her love for him? Why was it easier for him to imagine her with someone like Sam but impossible to think of her with someone like himself?
âItâs because Iâm a big idiot,â Bucky replied.
âBucky.â
âPlease forgive me, plum.â Bucky pecked her temple.
âTell me what happened.â She demanded softly, wiping Buckyâs own tears away and kissing his chin.
âNothing happened, sweet plum. I got inside my own head again. Iâm sorry, baby.â Bucky lied with a sad smile, too ashamed to admit Ryanâs words almost had him ruining the best relationship heâs ever been in.
She nodded understandingly, her hand cupping Buckyâs face as she rested his forehead on hers.
Bucky would tell her when he was ready. She didnât want to stay mad at him. She knew he had issues with self confidence and she wasnât about to make him feel even worse. He would come to her when he was comfortable. Bucky would tell her on his own.
âPlease stay.â She whispered, her teary eyes heavy with sleep, yet afraid to go to bed and have Bucky leave after.
âIâm not going anywhere, sweet plum.â Bucky kissed her forehead, taking her by the hand to their bed.
~
âYou know you can talk to me, right?â Her soothing voice whispered, filling the dark room.
Bucky was laying wide awake, Ryanâs words playing in his ears over and over again. What he did to his girl and how he made her cry. All the messed up shit he did just hours ago gnawed at him and took the sleep away from his eyes.
âI ran into Ryan,â Bucky finally replied, unable to sleep while heâs hiding something from her, âhe filled my head with thoughts about you leaving me for Sam, and I let him.â He admitted to the ceiling, hesitant to meet her eyes.
âI would never leave you,â she promised him without reluctance, cupping his face and making him look at her.
She wanted him to see all the love her eyes held for him with no shame.
âPlease donât. I will lose the weight, I willââ
âWait, what? He told you Iâd leave you because of your weight?â Both hands were back on Buckyâs cheeks, thumbs wiping under his eyes.
Bucky nodded.
âAnd you believed him?â
âItâs why he left me.â He shrugged.
âBucky,â she sighed.
âI know I know. Itâs whatâs on the inside that countsââ
âDonât talk as if youâre not physically breathtaking!â
âBabyââ
âNo! You have no idea how handsome you are, do you?!â
âPlum, you donât have to say such stuff.â Bucky shook his head sheepishly and regretted it when he saw sadness cover her delicate features.
She quickly shook it off, scratching her forehead before taking Buckyâs hand, helping him sit up in their bed.
âSweet plum, what are you doing?â Bucky asked when she started moving the covers down his torso.
âGonna love on my man. Would you let me, Bucky? Can I love on you?â she asked, her voice soft and sweet.
Bucky nodded, hypnotized by the adoration shining in her eyes and she started to undress him.
Her eyes never left his as she took piece by piece of clothing off, revealing his beautiful figure to her, her smile only faltering when she bit down at the sight of her man in all his naked glory.
Buckyâs body was lit up under the soft moonlight coming from the window, helping her appreciate every curve and inch.
This gorgeous human being was his and he was hers.
âYouâre so fucking sexy you take my breath away,â she moaned, slipping out of her own sweater, âand I donât just mean the way you make me cum so many times until I have to fight for oxygen.â She brushed her lips on his.
Bucky was speechless. He could only stare and try not to lose his own oxygen.
âKeep your eyes open for me, Buck.â She pecked his lips once and he opened his eyes at once, not even realizing heâd closed them in the first place.
She smiled at how fast he followed the instruction, leaning back on the headboard and licking his lips.
Buckyâs groan when her bra hit the ground made her giggle. She slipped out of her panties, leaving herself bare before Buckyâs eyes.
âCome here, plum,â Buckyâs arms reached for her but she shook her head.
âThis is about you, Bucky Bear.â
She climbed on the bed between Buckyâs legs, her hands wandering along his shins, thumbs caressing up his inner thighs. She bowed forward, peppering kisses on Buckyâs soft flesh.
âI love your thighs,â her lips moved higher and higher, the tiny kisses and nibbles driving Bucky crazy as he tried not to touch himself, âlove how thick they are. So strong. So perfect. I would ride them all day if youâd let me.â
Bucky whimpered when she accompanied the honest words with a bite, leaving her mark on his pale flesh.
âAnd that ass,â she moaned, her hands sliding underneath Bucky, pulling his legs up and cupping his ass cheeks.
Buckyâs shy gasp made her smirk. He was so precious she could eat him. Maybe she should some dayâŠ
She let Buckyâs legs settle back on the bed and kept kissing up and up, skipping his twitching cock on purpose and placing wet kisses on his tummy instead. Her eyes locked with his and Bucky bit his pink lip.
He looked so beautiful, blushing, disheveled and turned on like that. His pupils were dilated, his cheeks rosy and his breath uneven; she was falling in love with this chef all over again.
âI love your tummy so so much,â her tongue dipped in Buckyâs bellybutton and the flush spread from his cheeks and on to his neck and chest.
Another moan slipped from his lips as her warm tongue lapped at his skin. She was full on licking him now.
Her words were romantic but the way she was loving him was driving him insane.
âI love to feel it against me when we hug,â she kissed his right side, âI love when you let me rest my head on it and I get to hear you breathe and feel your heartbeat,â she kissed his belly, âI love how it warms my back when you spoon me. And I love feeling it pushing against my ass when you take me from behind.â She pressed a final kiss to his left side.
âMy favourite has got to be your cock though.â She gave his leaking dick a single pump and his hips were already bucking off the bed, âIâm a sucker for this cock, baby. Literally.â
Bucky was too busy whining when her mouth wrapped around the crown of his cock to call her out on her bad joke.
His whole body was on fire with need for her. He needed her to do something, anything.
âPlum, please. Let me get you ready. I need you. I need to be inside you.â
Bucky didnât want to cum in her mouth, not this time. He needed to be buried deep inside her and he wasnât sure how long he would be able to last.
âIâm ready,â she said, situating herself on top of his cock, rubbing the tip on her wet folds, letting out filthy mewls at the feel of him against the lips of her pussy, âalways ready for you, baby.â
Before Bucky could argue that he should at least make sure she was prepared to take him just in case, she was pushing the tip of him in, stretching herself out on his cock with her head thrown back and her mouth open in a silent scream.
âFuck, plum, so tight,â Bucky groaned, feeling her pussy grip every inch as soon as it disappeared inside her.
When she has completely impaled herself on Buckyâs cock, she stilled, taking a minute to get used to the stretch.
No burn has ever felt as good as the burn she got when Buckyâs dick split her in half. Getting opened on this cock was her favorite thing in the world.
She dragged her lips along his stubbly jaw as she waited, kissing all over his face, savoring the moment as sweetly as possible as if the head of Buckyâs cock wasnât almost touching up her cervix.
Her open palms glided from around Buckyâs neck to his shoulders and down his arms until she reached his palms.
âand those hands, I think you already know how much I love your hands.â She chuckled as she continued and Bucky nodded, squirming below her.
âI love when you hold my hand; makes me feel safe; chosen,â she rolled her hips, making Bucky groan wantonly.
âI love how fast you can make me cum on the fingers of your left hand.â She whined when Buckyâs hands dug in her sides as she moved on him, surely leaving bruises behind.
âFuck, plum-â Bucky was so close so fast and he wished he could last longer but the movement of her body on top of his, the words leaving her mouth and her walls snug around his cock were too much.
âI love you. Every inch, every part. I love all of you, Bucky.â
Bucky groaned in reply, chest heaving as he watched her take him.
âI love every part of you. I crave your touch like my lungs crave air.â
Bucky involuntarily thrust up, making her eyes roll.
âOh Buck!â she wailed, Bucky hitting her favorite spots so good.
He couldnât stop his hips from meeting hers every time she came down to take his cock over and over again, eyes glued to where he was disappearing inside of her.
âNothing could ever match the feeling of being filled up of you, Bucky.â
âI love you, plum ahhh fuck,â Bucky moaned, overwhelmed by emotions and ready to burst any second.
âI love you too, Bucky bear. Youâre my everything; my one and only.â She kissed him hard, thighs shaking around his body as she came on his cock.
Bucky couldnât help but let go himself, cumming harder than he has ever before, filling her up with so much cum until he felt it leak out of her despite having her plugged on his softening cock.
She moaned at the warmth of his cum, shuddering when it seeped out of her.
âFuck, plum,â Bucky sighed on her shoulder, breath still shaky.
She giggled shyly, burying her face in Buckyâs neck.
âWhere did that come from?â Bucky asked, cupping her cheek so he could look at her.
She was glowing, smiling at him so innocently as if his cock wasnât still buried deep up her leaking, pulsing pussy.
âFrom here.â She pointed to the spot between her breasts.
âRight here?â Bucky leaned forward to press a kiss on her hot skin, making her laugh as she nodded.
âI love you,â he whispered on her lips.
âI love you, Bucky. I love every tiny detail about you inside out. Nothing will ever change that.â She promised, seeing his eyes soften once again, insecurity dissipating.
âThank you, plum.â Bucky hugged her close, kissing her shoulder and the back of her neck.
âThank you for letting me show you how much I love you.â
âSo you love my cock huh?â Bucky teased.
âBuckyyyy,â she whined, trying to get away as her face heated up.
âNo, say it.â Bucky bit his lip, looking at her with a smirk.
âYou know I do. Stop.â
âNo, plum. I donât know anything.â Bucky shook his head trying to act serious, âsay it again.â
âIloveyourcock,â she mumbled, trying to take herself off his cock.
âWhat was that, plum?â Bucky thrust upward into her and even with a soft cock he could make her make the sweetest sound.
âHngh, I love your cock, Bucky,â she moaned, throwing her head back.
âHmm, how much?â Bucky swirled his hips, feeling himself get hard again.
âS-so much,â she admitted as his cock stretched her sensitive pussy.
Bucky held her close, turning them the other way around and gave a deep push when he was on top, his cum making the filthiest squelching sounds as she screamed an âoh godâ.
âSo much youâd let me take you again?â
âYes, yes,â she nodded frantically, not wanting the man to stop his thrusts.
And he wasnât going to.
Buckyâs tummy pinned her down as he pressed his lips to hers, eating up her squeals as he pounded her into the bed, showing her how much he loved her.
~
âSo you really donât care about my weight?â Bucky asked, supporting his body up on his elbows as he stared at her glossy eyes.
She could barely remember her name as she tried to come down from the other two orgasms Bucky has just given her, his body still on top of hers, but that wasnât a question she needed to think about the answer to.
âI only want you okay and healthy, Bucky. If youâre comfortable, Iâm comfortable. If youâre happy, Iâm happy. Otherwise, youâre perfect to me,â she told him with a shrug, pushing his wet hair behind his ears, âevery little thing about you is perfect.â
âI love you so much, plum.â
âI love you more.â She smiled, heart fluttering at the look he was giving her.
âNot possible.â Bucky kissed her lips, ânot possible, plum.â
~
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@ciaqui
@lindasweetie
#insecure!bucky#insecure!bucky barnes#chubby!bucky#chubby!bucky x reader#chubby!bucky barnes#chubby!bucky barnes x reader#chef!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x fluff#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky x female yn#bucky x female reader#bucky x f!reader#bucky fanfic#bucky smut#bucky fluff#bucky fic#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes ff#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes#bucky x reader smut#bucky x you#bucky x y/n#bucky x reader
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GMMTV 2025 - Hot Tops and One Bottom
GMMTV offered up ONE straight show, and even though I'm salty that I didn't get Midnight Museum 2 and despite the current state of the world, I have never been happier to be alive at this exact moment that I'm living in. GMMTV really cemented that it is Disney BL, and said FUCK THEM HETEROS!
As usual, I'm listing what shows I'm most excited to see from GMMTV's annual unveiling, but in order to be fair to the other shows, I will not consider one of the shows in the rankings because I am a Jaidee fan first, and a human second:
Dare You to Death
My boys are giving me ~Murder, Manipulate, Make-Out, and MAYHEM~ so I'm already seated, sat, and sitted. I've always thought Joong should play a character who was insincere and a bit crazy, and Dunk should lean into his haughtiness (emphasis on HOT), so even though all these other shows look great, they aren't JoongDunk trying to solve a murder while trying to not murder each other, and it would be unfair of me to hold that against everyone else. I was going to take whatever I was getting from them, but THIS?! Sorry, to everyone else, but y'all never stood a chance.
#1a - Memoir of Rati
Moment of honesty - Inn and Great are fine as fuck. They are already attractive to begin with, so to put them in a historical drama, of course, I'm going to eat it up. This is a serious piece about political and social tensions which I have no doubts they will carry into getting some awards for it. I was getting worried that these two weren't going to have another show together next year, but not only did GMMTV give them one of the meatier plots, the series also has Aou and Boom in it with an amazing story as well, so this was easily my top choice.
Or at least it was my top choice until . . .
#1b - Ticket to Heaven
Religious trauma aligned with Catholicism is my special brand of queer angst, so this series already has me all the way fucked up. Fourth is such a phenomenal actor and Gemini always acts his ass off, so I know they will have me in a fetal position every single episode clutching my rosary and praying for God's mercy since I'm already in my feelings about this. The heathens in the room better read up on some biblical references because if you thought I was doing too much over a cross necklace in Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo and the praying in The Warp Effect, I Saw You in My Dreams, and Marahuyo Project, block me now because that was only the tip of the religious iceberg.
#2 - Cat for Cash
Although I'm a vegetarian, I'm a Disney villain who strongly dislikes animals, yet even I was happy to see First getting advice from cats on how to make coffee and how to win over Khao. This is the FirstKhao romance we have been waiting for! It looks soft and sincere, and even though the plot involves hearing cats, First as the worst debt collector and Khao as a grieving sad boy are their most realistic characters they have ever played. The series also looks like it's going to make me cry, so thank goodness Satang showed up to make sure I would be emotional about every show GMMTV gives me next year.
#3 - That Summer
On the topic of Satang, I'm shocked that I clicked with this trailer. I was ready to write this off as a Hallmark series due to its plot about a prince with amnesia falling in love with a commoner until the trailer revealed that he doesn't have amnesia, and the commoner knows he is a prince. The trailer situated the problem will come from their class differences plus Mond is kissing a homie (in secret), and since I just asked for more series with sad wet boys on the beach, this show goes at the top for GMMTV delivering me something I didn't know I wanted but a show I definitely needed.
#4 - A Dog and a Plane
Tay and New got me by the throat in 2019 and 2024 with Dark Blue Kiss and Peaceful Property, and even when I wanted to be mad at Cherry Magic, I couldn't because these men always sell the hell out of a ship even when they shouldn't. I'm a Jaidee fan first, and a human second, but I'll throw on some polar bear and whale jammies any day to join the Polcas because Tay and New have not disappointed me once in their joint shows or individual shows. So here I am, super duper excited to see New play a GAY flight attendant (a stereotype I love to see) whose man is trying to screw Pun only for Tay to take the hush money yet still catch feelings AND FLIGHTS! Marc's there too, so it's time I was served openly gay men who are trying to join the mile-high club since it's been over a decade since I got Pedro AlmodĂłvar's I'm So Excited.
#5 - My Romance Scammer
I support marriage equality, but I do not believe in the institution of marriage, so I'm thrilled that GMMTV decided to throw me some gay divorce the same year gay marriage was legalized! Next, I'm getting the odd ball couple of Ohm and Fluke with Fluke being a dummy who falls for the first man who is nice to him, only for Marc to think he has a great relationship with Junior, BUT IT'S ALL A SCAM! I will probably end up defending this show with my life because this is the romcom romcoN I deserve!
Side Quest - Tarot Card Series
The theme for this year's announcement was "Riding the Wave" but it should have been "Wheel of Fortune" because there were a lot of shows about destiny and changing the future, so I'm going to rank those in a quick sub-category:
1) My Magic Prophecy
This is the dynamic I want to see from Jimmy and Sea. Jimmy IS a doctor, so getting a clean-cut smarmy version of him will pair so well with muscular Sea being a jerk. I was going to make a quirky comment about how they can now see the future as a reference to Last Twilight, but I'm still salty about that show, so I'll just be happy for them and THIS show.
2) Head 2 Head
I'm excited for the Only Boo kids because I think they should've gotten the My Love Mix-Up remake since I think they do well with being complete opposites that make perfect sense being together. This is also how I found out that Surf from I Saw You in My Dream is now with GMMTV.
So although it was awkward to realize GMMTV had acquired another BL boy under my chismosa nose (am I slipping?), it's nice to see the company staying on brand as Disney BL in its attempt to capture all the Pokemon Avengers BL Boys.
3) Wu
Since I've been watching High School Frenemy through my dash, I know plenty of people will be ecstatic to see Nani and Sky play soulmates, again (because High School Fremeny is gay af!), but I'm showing up because I got the red bracelets of destiny tying the boys together!
The trailers this year were surprisingly lax on the colors, so I'm taking what I can get how I get it. Bring me the RED STRING OF FATE!
4) MU-TE-LUV
This is Club Sapan Fine with a different name so it's going to be campy and messy. But do I think GMMTV will handle fems well? No. Am I pressed about it? Also, no. Because I actually watch AND enjoy Club Sapan Fine, so if GMMTV wants to try its hand at wild wacky camp in an anthology-style series, I'm down to clown, at least for the queer episodes that is.
5) Melody of Secrets
This was originally going to be number three on my Tops List, but as the trailer continued, I got more confused. Then, Force's face blurred and it looked like he got snatched by a demon, so I got scared. Like real scared. I don't eff with los espookys, so I'll be watching this show with the lights on and my Care Bear squad to protect me.
Honorable Mentions
I watch ALL GMMTV queer shows (and even the ones that only I think are queer), so I'll still enjoy something about these shows, but they were just lacking that special razzle dazzle:
Burnout Syndrome
Director Nuchy. Gun in black lipstick. Gun being a sex worker. Off being an asshole. Thor. Poly(?). This should have been my Holy Grail, but I can't believe the show will give me a proper love conflict when OffGun are a branded pair. Also, Nuchy gave me ToddBlack, who I will NEVER be over, so even though I know she can and will give me *THE* toxic couple to root for above all other toxicitos, unless these two are about to drown each other in that bathtub and play Olympic-levels of mind games with each other, I'm reserving my excitement until it airs.
Me and Thee
A soap-opera loving mafioso. Pond in suits with slicked-back hair. Phuwin being beautiful. Santa looking delicious. Est back in his Naughty Babe assistant mode. Perth. COLORS! Just like Burnout Syndrome, on paper it looks like something I would devour, but a third of that trailer was Pond and Phuwin in a bathtub, and in my Michelle Visage voice, "stop relying on that body" even if that's the biggest reason I'll be showing up to watch.
Whale Store
Milk licked cat food off of Love's finger, and I fear this might be too lesbian for me. I don't kink shame, and I'm always down to eat a girl out go down, but cat food? Really, sis? On top of that, this felt like a JittiRain series with Love's character clearly hiding something that is going to hurt Milk's character, then the side couple was crying and making everything awkward. I support the lesbians. I support queer rights AND wrongs. I'll be repeating this even as I'm watching it.
Boys in Love
GMMTV was smart putting all the new kids in a show with Papang x Podd as the little older romance crumbs to keep us satisfied for the time being, but that's also why I'm being petty. If this is the stepping stone for Papang and Podd to be leads for GMMTV 2026, then I'll take what I can get, but I feel like Oliver Twist asking for more porridge, when I should already be getting a damn buffet!
Love You Teacher
This show almost had me in the first half. Sam's character was giving me everything. The premise was solid. Perth was an already gay man in a long-term relationship with his boyfriend. Things were going well even with the accident. Then, the show brought on the real plot --- seven-year-olds. JesĂșs Cristo. It was a lovely time up until then, and now, just like the cat food, I'm realizing new things about myself and my boundaries on a random Tuesday morning, and I don't like it.
Girl Rules
This is the female version of Only Friends saran wrapped in women's empowerment. No me gusta pero lo voy a ver because I support queer wrongs even when they are oh-so-very wrong.
The Love of Siam: The Musical
What. The. Fuck. But also, sign me up!
Dishonorable Mention - Only Friends 2: Dream On
I've reached new heights in my pettiness because this show is in Petty Prison before it even airs. My blog is a living record of how badly I wanted Minx Mix and Flirty Fluke in the first season of Only Friends. It was the only thing I could think about; then, I ended up hating the first season, so I counted my blessings that Minx Mix only showed up for two whole seconds and Flirty Fluke was nowhere in sight. And now this has happened. This is a lesson in "be careful what you wish for" because I have never been more upset that I finally got what I wanted. Unless the show gives Boston his cake and lets him eat it to, I'm not watching it. Not Minx Mix, Flirty Fluke, or Ohm's body could convince me to do this a second time.
#gmmtv 2025#I support the girlsâ the gaysâ and the goths#and strangelyâ I'm kinda get all of those#I support queer rights AND wrongs#dare you to death#Memoir of Rati#ticket to heaven#cat for cash#that summer the series#a dog and a plane#my romance scammer#and so much more
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Easy Money
Derek Danforth x AFAB!Reader
Summery: Minimum wage is a joke these days and we've all gotta make rent somehow. And who knew blonds could be so fun?
Tags: AFAB/Female pronouns reader, no use of y/n, voyeurism, sex worker!Reader, drug use (marijuana), sex while high, drinking, cursing, bisexual Reader, fetish party, reader plays with several people, tempature play/improper use of ice cubes, sex toys, possessive!Derek, dick piercing (I will not debate this,) face fucking, breast play, oral sex (male recieving), thigh riding, cock warming, cowgirl and doggy position, praising, pet names, edging, rough sex, spanking, vaginal fingering, degradation, dumbification if you squint, dacrophillia. There is no plot. This is just porn. Straight up.
Notes: Y'all begged to me, now y'all begging to your man. You're welcome. Also, please consume substances responsibly. Do NOT assume an edible ain't shit. They ALWAYS are.
                     âąÂ°âăâȘïžââȘïžăâ°âą
The gig is simple. Stand there and look pretty.
The woman who had hired all of us was very clear on the rules; serve drinks, talk to the men, don't have a brain, and if Derek Danforth gives you an ounce of attention, you return it. Sex was optional, but they pay less if you do not engage.
I was just there for the check. Times are hard, but this dress is easy to fit into... if I don't breathe. Jesus, it's tight.
The architecture of the mansion is beautiful. Really, if I wasn't working this party I'd be studying every room for an hour each. High ceilings, detailed woodwork. It's a shame it's all bathed in purple blacklights with everyone wearing neon glowsticks.
The people in attendance are in various states of undress. Some wear their clothes fully, some wear nothing at all. Most are in various states of undress, including the waitresses.
All of our dresses are the same- tight, black, and an easily detachable top with nipple pasties underneath in the shape of blacklight activated glow stars. It's tacky, but the girls who have removed their tops are getting way more tips. And with the debt I'm in, plus the security making absolute sure no camera are recording anything, what's the harm in if I join them? It's more money for me.
The various trays contain different things. Some drinks or shots, others different foods. Then there's the drugs. Oh yes. Cocaine, pills, capped needles on at least one tray I noticed. On mine are several marijuana joints, blunts and even edibles. Our employer had told us we were allowed to indulge, but any damages caused due to our inebriation would come out of our check.
Edibles usually aren't shit for me, so I feel quite safe.
A strawberry cube is tucked safely under my tongue, taking a long while to melt. I can feel my muscles relaxing, making me smile more to the guests as I work my way through the crowd. The beginning gentle buzz helps me to forget the way these people leer at me, some even reaching over to touch me before retracting their hands quickly.
"These guests are quite used to casual sex," the woman had informed us. "There's a code here. You'll each have a pendant around your neck. Depending on the color you choose it will inform them of your preference. Red is for looking only, green means you're okay with sexual touch. It's up to your verbal communication if that touch leads to penetration."
The party was tacky, but at least consent was key.
My color currently is red. It will take more of this edible for anything to change. And currently I see no one making the trouble worth it, anyways.
Right now, anyways.
A man with bright, blond tipped hair and a loud outfit works his way through the crowd. Laughing and speaking with some, taking in the different women serving different items. There's a confident swagger in his walk, one that normally I would scoff at when sober. But with the melting cube quickly joining my bloodstream, I simply stare curiously. It's unintentional, honestly. But he takes notice, narrowing his eyes in reciprocated curiosity before making his way over.
"You're new," he says. I offer him the tray.
"I don't know what you mean," I say politely. He picks up a large blunt, taking out his own lighter instead of using one of the complementary ones on the tray. He takes a long pull, shoving the item back into his snakeskin jacket pocket that doesn't match his zebra print, silk looking button up with black leather pants.
"The other girls have been working here for awhile. Who brought you here?" He asks after taking a long pull, holding it.
"Riley," I answer. He nods, exhaling.
"She's worked here a couple years. You two close?" He asks.
Not particularly. "We're friends," I answer. He smiles a bit, taking another hit.
"You like the party?" He asks.
"I like the lighting," I answer. "And I can't say no to free edibles."
"You take some?" He asks. In answer I scoop the edible onto my tongue and stick it out for him to see. "Good girl, that shit will make you relaxed."
"How much is it?" I ask curiously. Can't be too much, surely.
"Told my guys to pick up 1000mgs," he answers, taking another hit.
... what?
My confusion must be obvious.
"You not used to that?" He chuckles, leaning against the wall next to me.
"I induldge regularly, just... lower amounts," I answer. He exhales, laughing.
"You'll have fun then. Especially if you change your color to green, but that's completely up to you," he says. There's a moment of silence between us before I speak up.
"Nice outfit," I say. He raises a brow at me.
"Yeah?" He asks, scanning me up and down. "I think I prefer yours."
"It matches better, that's for sure," I say. He laughs, then sticks out his hand, his smile confident.
"I'm Derek, by the way."
"Ah," I say. Derek.
Derek!
"Nice to meet you, Mister Danforth," I say, accepting his hand. It's warm and large, strong against mine.
"I don't want to hear Mister out of you unless you change colors, pretty girl," he says, squeezing my hand. I feel myself smiling, heart fluttering a little.
"And what would happen if I did change it, Mister?" I ask politely. His grin widens.
"Well, with the way you look already I'd say people would have a fun time with you," he says, stepping closer. "I wouldn't mind a taste myself. I like my girls warmed up, though."
"Warmed up?" I ask, raising my brow.
"I'll tell you what," he says. "You're welcome to leave your tray anywhere, as I'm sure they've told you. You can change your color to green, enjoy your edible and just let the crowd guide you to me. I promise they will." His eyes roam over me, taking me in with a hungry gaze, his mind distracted by obvious thoughts. I wonder how well his shoulders would hold me.
Shit. He's right, this is strong. The herbal smell on his breath is inviting, and I'm already leaning in. Plus, his outfit is beginning to make visually stimulating sense.
"Isn't it polite for a host to show his guest around?" I ask, batting my lashes. I can feel my eyes drying out, my cheeks buzzing and my body beginning to feel the bass of the music just a little bit more than I was a second ago.
"It is, pretty girl," Derek says, taking another hit. "But you're not a guest, are you?"
No, I'm not. I begin to pull away when his hand catches my pendant.
"You want me to get that for you?" He asks, exhaling through his nose.
"Yes sir," I answer with a smile, placing my tray carefully on the table beside me.
"Good girl," he praises, changing the color with a quick flick of his thumb. "You'll fit in just fine."
Before I can respond, his lips attach to my neck, sucking earnestly and harshly. I can't help the small cry that escapes me, my hand finding his hair and burying itself in it as he pins me against the wall.
His hand cups my breast, kneeding it carefully as he creates patterns across my skin with his mouth, licking at the newly bruised flesh before moving on to a new, unmarked area. He holds his blunt up for me, trying to keep it still enough to allow me to take a hit. I accept, holding his hand steady by the wrist, inhaling as much as I can.
His lips detach from my throat, his eyes red and glazed over as his lips graze mine.
"Care to share?" He asks lowly, his fingers still tweaking at my nipple. I'm vaguely aware that my pasties have been removed, where they've gone to I've no clue.
Obediently, I blow the smoke into Derek's mouth, his hand leaving my breast to cup my jaw, holding my mouth open with his large thumb. Once I'm done he takes his own hit, holding it for a moment before pressing his lips against mine, sealing them together before blowing the smoke into my mouth as well. His tongue slides against mine, tasting of whiskey and smoke. I don't hate the way it blends with the sweet, surgery strawberry cube still melting under my tongue.
He pulls away slightly, breathing heavily.
"You taste sweet," he says. "Mind if I try some?"
"Go ahead," I answer. I expect him to take an edible from the tray, but instead he leans in again, his tongue searching for the half melted candy. He finds it under my tongue, slipping it onto his and then pulling away, smiling in satisfaction.
"Oh," I breathe, batting my lashes in surprise.
"I'll trade you," he says, pressing a small kiss to my cheek as he passes the blunt to me. "Just let the crowd lead you, sweet girl. I'll see you in a bit."
Before I can even think of a response, he slips amongst the crowd, gone in the blink of a hazy eye.
Alright. This is fine. Great, actually. I take a hit of the sour tasting blunt and begin walking amongst the crowd.
Derek was right, I am an eye catcher. Or maybe these people aren't particularly picky. But it doesn't take long at all before people are touching me, sliding their hands over my hips as I pass by, stopping me for a moment to press me against their bodies, leaving a mark or three on my skin. The attention makes my mind blank, smiles on my lips as I whisper 'thank you's, the patrons slipping tips into the tight pockets of my skirt as they release me, letting me blend into the crowd once more until someone else catches me.
I should be revolted, I know this. But the people aren't hard to look at, and with as much as I have flowing through my system all I can really think about is how amazing I feel. My joints feel like air is passing straight through them, my head feels light and free of racing thoughts. The lights entrance me, making me easily distractable until a woman guides me gently towards her group, placing me on her lap as she talks with what I'm guessing are work colleagues. Or something. Fuck if I care.
Her hand strokes my back carefully, not speaking to me as I continue hitting my almost burnt out blunt. She glances at me from time to time, smiling sweetly as she watches me.
"Can I have some?" The older woman asks gently. Her lips are painted a dark black, revealing white teeth underneath. Her features are sharp, contoured by heavy makeup. Her hair is shaggy and black, and God, she's... broad. Muscular and looking like she could eat me alive. I wouldn't mind if she tried.
I hand her the last little bit, letting her have what remains as I begin to focus on her hair. It's soft, feeling amazing between my fingers.
"You have anywhere you need to be for the rest of the night?" She asks, her voice deep.
"Derek," I breathe, barely focusing. She and the other women amongst her let out a noise of recognition, some even laughing a little.
"He likes his girls pent up," Another says, nodding. "Says he likes them used, but we all know that's not true."
"Derek likes to go for hours," warns a woman with blue hair that glows in the blacklight. "Hope you have a lot of energy saved up. If he likes you, you won't go home for days."
The woman with black hair is finishing the blunt, flicking away the last little bit and letting it land wherever.
"You mind if we help you?" She asks.
"No," I answer, my hands running over her broad, leather covered shoulders. "I don't mind."
The women aw over me, moving closer and touching different parts of me.
"Focus on my thigh, good girl," says the dark haired one. "Just rock yourself against it and let me know when you're close." She turns to the second woman, nodding her head towards me. "You want to taste her?"
The second woman nods, joining me on her lap and grinding herself against the first woman's other thigh before bending over to wrap her lips around my nipple, moaning as she does.
The third woman, the one with blue hair, simply watches, continuing to talk to the dark haired woman, stroking my back as she does. The first woman seems engaged in the conversation, occasionally sucking on my other breast before responding to the blue haired woman. The second woman is fully engrossed in tasting me, sucking and nipping at my breast eagerly, moaning as she does.
The stimulation feels amazing, my head tilted back as I rock on the dark haired woman's thigh, my body feeling things it never has before. The feeling of two women sliding their tongues across my sensitive nipples, sucking on them at the same time at different paces is almost enough on its own to make me cum. I can feel how wet I am even through my underwear, surely staining the first woman's clothes.
"Shit, Ava. She may not make it to Derek at this point," laughs the blue haired woman. The first woman, Ava, simply smiles, admiring me.
"Should we let you cum, good girl? Or do you want Derek?" She asks, bouncing her leg as she does.
I moan loudly, my mind unable to form a response. This is lovely, just absolutely wonderful. But something tells me that if I waited, if I edged myself like Derek seemed to prefer, then I would be well rewarded.
"Wait," I pant, still rocking my hips against her thigh. The three women groan, laughing a little more as they begin to give me space.
"You think she's good enough for him?" Ava asks the second woman.
"If she's not, he's out of his mind," she says, tearing herself away from my breast and standing to move onto the blue haired woman's lap instead.
Ava guides me off of her before standing tall and admittedly terrifying. She pulls me up gently, taking my hand and leading me through the room. "Follow me, sweet girl," she says. "I'll take you to the main event."
The other two women wave at me, smiling wickedly before turning their focus onto each other. As the drugs begin to hit harder, just a little ways from my peak, I begin to wonder what it is I've really gotten myself into.
A pair of double doors reveal the same dyed blond man on a plush couch, lounging lazily as he speaks to a small group of people in the private lounge. Upon seeing me guided into the room, he smiles eagerly, quickly sitting up.
"I told you you'd find me," he says, setting his whiskey glass in front of him on the small, glass table.
I smile warmly at him, trying to keep my balance as I walk around to him.
"You get her all ready for me, Ava?" He asks, gently placing his hands on my hips and guiding me to sit on his lap, my back pressed against his chest.
"I did," the woman says, joining us. "She's pretty pent up."
"Did she get you pent up, pretty girl?" Derek asks, laughing softly. I can feel the blush in my cheeks, my eyes barely able to stay open as I lean my head back onto his shoulder.
"Feel her if you don't believe me," Ava offers. Derek obliges, dipping his hand between my thighs, pushing my thin panties to the side.
"Fuck," he groans. "You weren't kidding."
Derek guides my legs to spread open, one hand keeping me open for everyone to watch as his other hand explores my vulva.
"Don't worry about everyone else," he whispers in my ear. "We're all just here for a good time. Right, pretty girl?"
I nod, moaning as his finger swirls around my clit. He continues speaking to his friends, drinking casually as his hand toys with me.
"You want some?" He asks, offering me the glass. I shake my head. I'm fucked up enough.
"Water?" He asks. At that I nod, and with the quick snap of his fingers it only takes a blink before he's holding a water in front of me, complete with ice cubes inside.
"Go ahead," he says. "Take a drink."
I obediently lean forward, placing my bottom lip on the edge as Derek tips the water into my mouth. It's soothing at first, my body relishing the cold rush it gives me. Derek's hand glides up and down my folds, teasing my entrance.
"You like the cold?" Derek asks. I try to respond, forgetting the glass in front of me. The water spills down onto my body, freezing and making me cry out in shock at the sudden sensation.
Derek and his friends laugh, his lips pressing soothing kisses along my shoulder blade.
"I'm sorry, were you not ready for that?" He asks sweetly, smiling at me. I shake my head. He places the glass on the table in front of us, collecting a couple of ice cubes before leaning back and adjusting me to face him.
"Let's get you prepped then, yeah?" He asks, popping one into his mouth and chewing.
My eyes widen, mouth opening in question just before Derek wraps his own lips around my nipples, sucking gently and swirling the quickly chewed cube around the hard bud.
"Fuck!" I cry, leaning backwards. Ava catches me, stroking my hair as she watches.
"I knew he'd like you," Ava says in my ear. "He likes breaking in the new girls personally."
Derek's fingers tease my entrance, threatening to dip in while he sucks on my breast, moaning around the cold flesh. He swirls his spit around, rubbing my clit with his thumb.
"You taste amazing," he moans, his breath cold. "Love to taste more."
I moan happily, spreading my legs more and bucking against his hand.
"Take me," I moan. "Do whatever you want."
"Jesus, she's excited," he laughs. "How long has it been, sweet girl?"
Too long. Much too long.
It must be obvious based on the way he trails lower, kissing and sucking on my skin as he begins to slip my skirt and underwear off of my lower body.
"Is this okay?" He asks, looking up at me expectantly. I nod eagerly, rolling my hips towards him impatiently.
"I don't think she likes teasing, Derek," Ava comments.
"No?" He laughs. "Do you like teasing, sweet girl?"
I shake my head slightly, whining. He and Ava laugh, Derek placing a kiss on my stomach.
"Well, I don't want to go too fast, new girl," he says. "Could break you, you know."
"No you won't," I whine. Derek sucks sharply on the spot, leaving a dark mark.
"Gonna have to teach her a thing or two, aren't I, Ava?" He asks. "You know where that toy is?"
"What toy?" I ask.
"Don't you worry about a thing, pretty girl," Derek instructs. "I'm gonna take care of everything for you now. Just relax."
Ava removes herself from the couch, disappearing to look for something. As I'm distracted, Derek slips an ice cube into my warm cunt.
"Ah!" I cry out sharply, arching my back as my hips roll automatically, unsure what to do to relieve myself. "It's cold."
Derek simply laughs, sitting up straight and dragging me onto his thick thigh.
"It's supposed to be," he says mockingly. "That'll work in the meantime while we wait for Ava to come back."
I start to grind against his thigh, my cunt clenching around the cold cube rapidly as I feel the melting water begin to drip out of me. Derek pulls my hair, tutting his tongue against his teeth as he shakes his head.
"Stay still, that's an order," he says sharply. Someone offers him a cigarette, which he takes with no hesitation. When someone offers me one as well, he waves them away.
"She's had enough," he says. He keeps his hand in my hair, keeping a close eye on me to make sure I don't move.
"You enjoying the party?" He asks me.
"Yes," I say.
"Yes what?" He asks, taking a drag.
"Yes, sir?" I say. He smiles.
"Good. You're smart." He turns his attention to a man asking about some account, rambling something about bitcoin and such. Ugh. I don't know why I'm surprised.
I keep my hands clasped behind my back, pressing my chest forward to allow him easy access. This pleases him, his smile growing genuine whenever he glances my way. Once he bounces his leg, making me squirm for more. At that, he pulls my hair, shaming me for breaking the rule.
"Behave," he commands sharply. A few minutes later, however, he bounces his leg again. This time he doesn't stop.
The jolting motion sends shockwaves through my system, the drugs making me weak and stupid. He's not watching me, seeming involved in the conversation, and this ice cube is nearly melted inside of my cunt, dripping more and more. I can't handle this.
I shift my hips subtly, testing the waters. He doesn't notice, and if he does he doesn't care. I do it again, slightly harder against his thigh. Derek is talking about some party in Havana, laughing about a different conquest. I work slowly, making sure he won't turn his eye onto me. Finally, after a few minutes of grinding against him, I feel confident enough to begin a slow, steady rhythm against his thigh, his leg still bouncing against me.
My body feels amazing. Light, stimulation pounding throughout me, it only takes a few minutes before I'm on edge again, my pussy making his thigh slick and easy to grind against as I ride him. My cheeks burn with heat, my eyes eyes fluttering shut as I lose myself in the rhythm, fully focused on how hard his leg is bouncing. The vibrations go right to my clit, making my pussy seize around nothing now as my pulsing heat had caused the cube to disappear. I begin to grind faster and faster, desperate to cum. I don't realize I've begun panting, moaning as I ride him, and the attention in the room has turned towards me in full with Derek rubbing his hand up and down my back slowly, grazing his nails across the skin of my back as he watches with a look that makes him look like the cat who ate the canary.
"You close, sweet girl?" He asks me. My blush deepens, my eyes fluttering open in realization. Derek simply quirks a brow at me, exhaling his smoke into my face as he waits for my answer. My hips stutter, hesitating to continue.
"Don't get shy," Derek scolds. "You were just fine fucking yourself a moment ago. What's a few dozen people watching you?" He asks.
People are chuckling now, making small comments of encouragement.
"You looked so pretty, baby. Fucking yourself stupid on my thigh," he says as his lips tease my tits. "Didn't she look pretty, everyone?" He asks the room, glancing around at the people who respond with affirmations.
I lean forward, trying to hide my face in the crook of his neck. What had I been doing? In front of this entire room? I'd just needed a few quick bucks, that's all this was supposed to be. This was exponentially further than I'd ever planned.
Derek tuts, pulling me away from my hiding place. "Oh no, you wanted to cum. I'm going to make sure you cum," he chides. "I wonder how you'd feel on my cock. Would you like that? You'd feel better if you were on my cock, wouldn't you?"
I nod shyly, my eyes avoiding everyone but Derek. He glances around the room once more, noises of encouragement growing louder.
"You wanna get me ready, baby?" He asks encouragingly, taking one of my hands from behind my back and guiding it to his stiff, clothed cock.
I gasp lightly, squeezing it and grazing my thumb up and down his dick covered by the tight, leather material.
"You look big," I mutter.
"Feel big too," he chuckles. "Go on, try it out. I think you'll like it."
I think I will.
It's hard to see in the odd lighting, so my hands struggle with the hidden zipper.
"Try getting closer," Derek teases, his breath warm against my ear. "It doesn't bite like I do." To emphasize his point, he sinks his teeth into my neck, harsh and quick before releasing me, leaning back in his chair. The sudden movement makes me dizzy, my mind reeling as I automatically sink to my knees in front of the plush, velvet sofa.
Once his pants are opened, he springs out, no underwear confining him. Jesus. He's mostly average, leaning towards the larger side. It's mostly the piercing that surprises me.
"Like it?" He asks. I glance up at him, his grin cocky as he takes a drag from his new cigarette. Hey, man. What happens if I swallow this?
I stammer, opening my mouth and trying to say something.
"You need help?" He asks, wrapping his hand decorated with several rings around his shaft. "Open your mouth again," he commands. I do so without hesitation. His other hand guides my head down, forcing me to swallow it halfway down. I moan in satisfaction, my eyes slowly shutting as I take in the taste of his skin.
"Atta girl. Take a minute if you need to," he says casually. I can smell the thick smoke near my head, his hand stroking my hair gently. Ava must have returned because he's telling someone how warm my mouth is.
"You ready, sweetheart?" He asks. "Wanna show you off for my friends."
Taking a deep breath and opening my eyes once more, I lower myself slowly to his base. He's just long enough that when his piercing collides with my uvula I cough, nearly choking on him. More gentle laughter escapes the crowd, Derek praising me as he begins to thrust into my mouth.
"Just stay there, sweetheart," he says. "I'll do the work."
True to his word, Derek begins pumping his dick in and out of my mouth, whispering something in Ava's ear. I begin taking in the other people around the room, most of them watching us eagerly.
"Watch me, sweetheart," he commands, snapping his fingers and pointing at himself. "You don't have anywhere to look but here."
I obey, keeping my eyes trained on him as he smokes his cigarette which rests between his lips, his jaw gritted as he rolls his hips into my throat, his eyes glazed over in pleasure and who knows what else.
Without warning, someone begins fingering my cunt. A startled moan escapes me, vibrating around Derek's throbbing cock and making him moan, his face confident.
"Don't worry baby, it's just Ava," he says, stroking my hair. "You like Ava, right?"
I moan again, Ava's fingers quick and shallow in my tight pussy.
"Ava certainly likes you. Almost stole you from me, isn't that right?" He asks her, tapping his cherry carelessly onto the floor behind him.
"That's right," her deep voice purrs in my ear. I moan again, my eyes almost fluttering shut from pleasure until Derek grabs my hair, fucking my face roughly to bring my attention back to him.
"Hey now, don't get too happy," he scolds, but he's smiling. "You still like me more, right baby?"
I moan, pressing my tongue to his underside as he slides in and out. He tastes sweet, his jewelry creating an interesting feeling in the back of my throat. Ava withdraws her fingers, quickly replacing them with a vibrating bullet instead.
"Mmph!" I moan, my eyes nearly fluttering shut again. The speed increases, making me drip and writhe my hips against nothing.
"God, she's fun," Derek moans. "Ava, book her for Cabo," he says.
Cabo??
"You like her that much?" Ava laughs. Derek simply glares at her. Is this a thing? Trading girls, fighting over them? What is this?
"Just fucking talk to whoever about it," he spits, his dick quickening in my throat. I'm gagging around him, barely able to catch my breath as I press my hands desperately against his thighs. "Anyone else fuck her tonight?"
"Don't know," Ava shrugs. She brings her face close to mine, her breath hot in my ear. "Did they?"
I moan, trying to shake my head. Derek nods, smiling.
"Perfect," he drawls. The bullet inside of me is driving me insane, enough to keep me on the edge of pleasure but not enough to tip me over. My eyes look up at him, wide and begging, tears beginning to spill from my waterline and streaming down my face.
"You're killing her," Ava scolds him. "Is he being mean?" She asks me. Yes.
"She can take it," Derek says. "You like it a little mean, don't you baby?" He asks, smiling. Yes.
"See?" Derek says. "She's just fine."
Actually, I'm about to hit my peak drug wise, and I can't fucking breathe. But all it does is make me want more, my throat taking him as deep as I can as I moan around him, my tongue moving desperately, eager to swallow his load.
"Think I should cum down her throat?" He asks Ava, his head tilted back in pleasure, cigarette nearly burnt out between his lips.
"Would you like that?" Ava asks, setting the speed of the bullet to max. I scream around Derek's cock, overstimulated and stupid. "I think that's a yes."
"God, you're amazing," he praises. "Such a perfect fucking slut."
Right before he reaches his edge, he pulls me away, admiring the long, thick string of spit that still connects my swollen lips to his cock.
"Look at that," he says. "Should take a picture of that someday."
His hand drags me up by my hair, guiding me to return to his lap. Once I'm straddled across his lap, his fingers delve into my cunt, fucking me quickly as he presses the bullet against my g-spot.
"You like my cock, pretty girl?" He asks.
"Yes," I moan, my voice and throat raw.
"Yes what?"
"Yes, sir."
"Excellent."
His fingers remove the bullet, and he quickly replaces his hand and bullet with his pulsing cock, both of us moaning at the feeling.
"Jesus, fuck," he moans. "You are fucking tight. I can feel everything."
My cunt spasms around him, eager for whatever friction he'll grant me. He stays still, something that's clearly a challenge for him.
"Gonna stay there for awhile," he says. "Wanna make sure you're ready, baby."
My spit on his dick makes for excellent lube, his piercing comfortable against my cervix. His hands run up and down my thighs, squeezing here and there, eventually moving to massage my ass.
"The crowd loves you," he praises, pulling me close to his chest. "Think I love you too."
I'm very high. I'm very horny. I will do whatever this fried hair, cocky ass motherfucker tells me to do.
A waitress walks behind the couch, offering us a tray of joints. Isn't that my job?
"Go ahead, take one," Derek instructs me. I do so, reaching for the lighter on the tray.
"Don't bother, I have one in my pocket. Thank you," he says to the waitress, dismissing her. He reaches into his coat, taking out the lighter before discarding the jacket, leaving him in his zebra printed button up that shows off his chest hair along with a white gold sparkling chain.
He holds the lighter for me, lighting up the joint as I hold it between my lips.
"You're gonna smoke me out, okay angel?" He says, leaning back against the couch, his arms stretched out along the back. I rest one hand against his chest, taking a hit and holding it for a second before leaning forward and blowing it into his mouth.
One of his hands find my hair, pressing my lips against his, his cock twitching inside of me as his tongue slips into my mouth, establishing dominance before allowing me to pull away for another hit. Then another. Then another.
As he inhales the last hit, his hips begin rolling into mine, his voice low as he groans.
"Go on and start riding me, angel," he moans, completely lost in the pleasure. "Show me how you want me."
My hands grasp his shoulders, clinging desperately as I begin to glide up and down his length, his cock twitching against my most sensitive spots with each glide.
"You ever fuck a pussy as good as this?" I ask, watching his jaw shift subtly from side to side as he focuses on my tightness.
"Oh, she speaks now?" He asks, smirking. "Grow a fucken brain, princess?"
His tip slams into my cervix, making me gasp and press my tits into his face. His mouth works quickly, biting and sucking at the tender mounds as I ride him.
"I'm just making conversation," I say. I'm high enough my filter is gone, my brain rotted to the point I'm only focused on my pleasure. He moans against my tit, looking up at me while he buries himself in my body.
"I can't say I have," he says, grinning. "Why, that turn you on?"
Immensely. Not that I'd tell him that.
"Say it," he dares, his cock slamming into me. "Don't hold out on me."
"Maybe I will," I tease, tugging his hair. My hips speed up, riding him hard enough I can feel the couch rocking ever so slightly.
"You're fun," he chuckles. "Say it."
"No," I say, slamming my wet cunt against his base, making him groan loudly.
His teeth sink into my skin, pulling on my nipple to the point I'm on the razors edge of pain and pleasure.
"I don't mind waiting," he says, his tongue flicking against my nipples. "I like causing pain."
His teeth sink in deeper, his fingernails dragging down my back slowly as he slams into me, making me bounce hard enough I can feel it in my stomach.
This is a hell of a paycheck.
"I like it," I say. He chuckles.
"That's not enough," he says.
"I wanna be the best girl you've fucked," I add.
"Mm, need more details." His teeth release my nipple, leaning forward and quickly catching it once more, sucking on the almost raw flesh hard enough it feels like I won't be able to wear a shirt for the next day or two. One of his hands return to my hair, gripping it and pulling it hard enough I can see the people behind us, some of them still watching, some focused on each other, most people switching between the two as they fuck each other.
"Come on, you were just so confident," he laughs against me before returning to his task. My chest burns with want and embarrassment, my eyes glazing over as I give in.
"I wanna make you pussy whipped," I moan. "I wanna glance at something and get it from how desperate you are to get the chance to fuck me."
He chuckles lowly. "I think we'll get along for a while," he says in a satisfied tone, finally releasing my tits from his torture.
"Gonna get me on payroll?" I ask, smiling as I throw my leg onto the back on the couch, giving him better access to fuck me.
"Play your cards right and I'll get my surname on you, pretty girl."
It's an evening of drugs and sex, come morning I'm sure he won't even remember my eye color. But for tonight, can't a bitch dream?
"Go ahead and laugh," he dares. "I get what I want."
"And you want me?"
"Fuck yeah."
He forces me to my side, turning me onto my stomach and hiking my ankles onto his shoulders.
"Jesus!" I cry, feeling his cock bury into me from behind, slamming straight into an overwhelming spot that makes me blind with pleasure.
"Too much," I cry. "Fuck, too much!"
"And that's a problem?" He laughs, abusing me as he smacks my ass, admiring the way my skin reddens.
"Yeah, you're not getting another dick ever again," he decides, his hips chasing after a high that tears screams from my throat. I'm so overstimulated I don't even know if I can cum, my eyes crossed and ass feeling his palm bearing down on the sensitive flesh time and time again, growing more rapid in succession, forcing me to clench his length harder with each new hit.
"Come on, pretty girl," he growls, pressing his chest against my back, his hands keeping my hips pressed against him with no chance to escape. His balls smack against my clit, making me moan in stupidity. "I know you want to."
I cry out, tears streaming down my face, hair stuck to my wet skin as I feel my cunt begin to throb in warning, my stomach clenching as the knot inside me begins to snap, my mind growing fuzzy and static as I pant eagerly.
"Fuck, she's close," Derek moans to someone, small whimpers escaping him as he pumps into me, his teeth digging into my shoulder, sending me over the edge.
Someone's screaming, and I have the vague idea it may be me. I can feel Derek's front soaked in my cum, his dick slamming into me in a way that I just know I'll have a migraine in a few minutes.
"Good girl," he praises. "Fuck. Amazing girl. Taking good dick like a fucking pro."
His cock throbs in me as he cums, deep and right next to my cervix, keeping himself buried as his seed pumps into me, hot and thick.
"I wasn't joking, sweetheart," he mutters in my ear, his voice exhausted. "You and I are going to become good, good friends."
I groan as I feel him slip out, his fingers pushing any cum that drips from my folds back into me, then placing a plug into my aching cunt. His hand grips my hair, pulling me back up to sit on his lap as he accepts a new drink, his cheeks flushed as he tries to regain his breath.
"Let's get something to get your energy back up, hmm?" He asks, pressing a firm kiss on my sweaty forehead.
âȘïžăâąââąăâȘïž
Cabo doesn't sound all that bad, Danforth. Not bad at all.
Masterlist
I wrote this instead of sleeping. Anyways, see you next time for Mike Schmidt. Stay safe pookies <3
#josh hutcherson#josh hutcherson fanfic#derek danforth#derek danforth smut#derek danforth x reader#derek danforth beekeeper#the beekeeper#derek danforth x you#jhutch#josh hutcherson x reader
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So... I really didn't want to make this post, but here we are. I'm struggling, y'all, a lot. I've been trying to keep up with things, but I just can't anymore. At the moment, I'm severely in medical debt, and I have no way to make it up except to ask for help. Every month, I'm paying a lot of money, between medications, therapy fees, and assorted other quality of life things - even with reduced costs, it's more than I can afford. I'm trying to fight to get disability, but I can't work, and the stress is causing me to fall even further behind. I'm tired. I'm so tired of struggling.
I know everyone is struggling right now, but if, and only if you have it to spare, any amount of donations would be so appreciated right now.
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Ahhhh after some thought Iâll choose the earthrealm men with a lovey dovey s/o đđ»đđ»
back to requests a mere 6 days after saying I was gonna take a break. Was that post a little unnecessary? Yes, but I didnât want anyone to get mad at me for not posting everyday and not getting to requests immediately. ANYWAY, back like the flu.
Johnny Cage
Johnny âLoves Attentionâ Cage is having the best timeÂ
Do y'all remember how much of a cornball this man was in the game? He has no shameÂ
So a significant other who also has no shame? He's getting on one knee as soon as possibleÂ
He tries to out cornball youÂ
He loves it all. The stupid nicknames, the cuddling, the gifts, the giggling, all the adoration, he's just in love
Definitely returns the favor. If you buy him smth, he's buying you smth (let's ignore that debt), you give him a nickname so he gives you one. It goes on and on
All this lovey dovey shit might exhaust some people. Johnny is not some people.Â
The nicknames are probably his favorite part. He makes the most atrocious nicknames up because you won't be upsetÂ
Some real dumb shit like Oogy Boogy Sweetie Weetie Cutie Patootie Kissy Face- yeah all that shit is one nickname. Why? Because it's funny to him and you'll laughÂ
The type to get y'all dumbass matching shirtsÂ
âIf found return to stupidâ âI'm stupidâÂ
Those type of shirtsÂ
Everyone hates you because it becomes a competition of who can be the most corny. It's tortuous for anyone near youÂ
Cannot express enough how much this man enjoys the attention you give him. If one day you decided to ignore him as a joke, he'd actually be so sad and notice immediatelyÂ
He just adores having a corny lovey dovey partner. The best thing to happen to him.Â
Kenshi TakahashiÂ
He doesn't hate it but he definitely needs a breather sometimesÂ
Having a lovey dovey partner isn't terrible to him. All the touching and nicknames and being spoiled is definitely cute to him, but being lovey dovey also means you're on him a lot. Kenshi doesn't give me huge extrovert vibes so I think because you're so extreme(?) that there's times when he needs a breakÂ
He thinks it's adorable though. He likes feeling wanted so he likes how outwardly you are with your loveÂ
Idk if he likes all the nicknames though. I can see him easily cringing if you go overboardÂ
Idk how he'd feel about you spoiling him. He doesn't hate it but he feels like everytime you give him a gift, he has to give you one and he ain't got that shit on him. His own thoughts are running him dryÂ
When his social battery is recharged I think he'd like how physical and sweet you are
He enjoys how loved you make him feel. He's just not sure how to respond sometimes. I can see you saying something really corny and although he thinks it's cute, his brain doesn't move fast enough and he ends up just staring at youÂ
He rolls his eyes a lot too so it can give the appearance that he's annoyed by you but it's definitely not thatÂ
You want some corny shit he'll definitely like? Matching jewelry. He'll eat it up like it's a cookieÂ
Also draw over his tattoos. He loves itÂ
Loves the corny shit his brain just legit shuts off sometimesÂ
Kung Lao
Like Johnny, he enjoys the attentionÂ
Idk if he necessarily enjoys all the corny things. I don't get a strong feeling from him. Maybe it depends on the dayÂ
Likes the attention and spoiling but all the corny nicknames and shirts and just being a total sap makes him a little uncomfortable at timesÂ
Once again, it depends on the day. Sometimes he's all for it and sometimes he's like âlet's calm down for todayâ
Gets you a matching hat but without all the sharp shit because he doesn't trust you with sharp objectsÂ
He's a mix of Johnny and Kenshi tbh
He refuses to wear those corny matching shirts. You'll have to kill himÂ
That applies to other things too
Those corny nicknames Johnny would make up? He'd prefer a beating from a serious SpidermanÂ
âAw my Snookie Wookie-â âI'm gonna shoot myself right here right now. Please stopâ
It's cute and he acknowledges that it's how you show love but certain things just ain't gonna work with him
Especially in public certain things just won't work with him because he has an ego and thinks certain things will make him look weird. It's giving insecure teenÂ
Don't doubt his love for you though. He loves his little sap. Just take it a bit slowÂ
At some point a switch would flip and he'd go from being embarrassed to thinking âwow, I'm so great my partner is willing to look silly in front of others!â
Now he feeds into your corny bullshit
A win is a win
Raiden
I fully believe him and Liu Kang are romantics, therefore he loves itÂ
He gets flustered easily so tons of affection makes his face go red and all that cute shitÂ
His brain also short circuits like Kenshi's. He's so bad at pretending he's not flusteredÂ
âAre you blushing?â â...â â...â â...â âRaiden?â âOf course notâ
Likes the consistent physical contactÂ
Spoiling him also makes him short circuit. He's trying to think of how to thank you but all that comes out is âoh!â
Adores you just as much as you adore himÂ
He likes gift giving. And idk mean just jewelry, I mean âyou got me all these gifts so I'm gonna bring you a bunch of produce and hey, maybe we can cook laterâ
We saw him collecting cabbages like Cabbage Man from ATLA in the beginning of the game, he gotta still have the hook up
Loves receiving cheek kissesÂ
Man is so weak in the knees. Kung Lao can yell âSTAND UP!â all he wants. That shit is not happeningÂ
Play with his hair. Once again, weak in the kneesÂ
He's having a great time. Sure he's easily embarrassed but it's not like âomg, you're being weird. Stopâ. It's more of a âI love this but I feel like everyone's lookingâ
You two are super lovey dovey but not as obnoxious as you and Johnny. Johnny is like âyou can't out corny meâ and Raiden is just tryna vibe and love on you since you love on himÂ
All the embarrassment he feels is so worth it to himÂ
Liu Kang
A romantic so all that lovey dovey shit? Heaven to himÂ
Liu Kang has so much love to give and he's never allowed to share it because his life is ass in every timelineÂ
So a partner that adores him and shows him how much they adore him? Did the Elder Gods hand craft you for him?
He's honestly a mix of everyone. He wants to love you all the time like Johnny, he loves how much you love him like Kenshi, he loves how much you outwardly adore him like Kung Lao and he's a huge romantic that loves how much time you spend together like Raiden
He's so love deprived so he loves everything you wanna doÂ
Matching shirts, jewelry, socks, whatever the fuck? Absolutely.Â
Spoiling him with random shit? He'll take it all
Telling him how much you love him all the time? Yes.Â
Giving him the dumbest and corniest nicknames? He'll take that tooÂ
He's also lovey dovey so the feeling is very much mutualÂ
Enjoys quality time so you wanting to be on his hip is very much welcomedÂ
You're a breath of fresh air since you're so kind and loving to him. Remember he has all the memories of the past timeline, then this timeline gets fucked up. He's used to constant smoke and destruction so someone being so nice and sweet to him and relaxing with him is heavenly to him
Doesn't matter how corny it is. It's all he wantsÂ
Real quick, two things. Firstly I wanna make more MK1 intros so yâall should give me ideas. Secondly I think it would be fun if we as a unit made an MK1 oc. Iâd make polls, youâd vote on certain things and then we use the same results but tinker it to our individual liking. For example maybe we know theyâre Edenian but their gender is up to you. Itâd be like a bunch of variants. A Multiverse of Madness if you will.
#mk1#mk1 2023#mortal kombat 1#johnny cage#johnny cage mk1#johnny cage x reader#johnny cage headcanons#kenshi takahashi#kenshi takashi x reader#kenshi takahashi mk1#kung lao#kung lao x reader#kung lao headcanons#kung lao mk1#raiden mk1#raiden x reader#raiden headcanon#liu kang x reader#liu kang mk1#liu kang#liu kang headcanon
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gift exchange with baldur's gate 3 companions
Navigation | More Weirdos |Â AO3
synopsis: As the end of the year approaches, the group united by worms decides over starting a tradition: exchanging gifts!
warnings: i don't think there is any...? this can be seen as tavrem or just platonic. ASTARION FLIRTS. i use tav as a nickname for reader, so... i made the sortition on a site so this is really random. i swear. like y'all wont't believe me, but it's random. also, i love those weirdos. just thought i should said that. happy rest of 2023 for all of us!
After losing a bet, Gale was responsible for starting what soon will be a tradition among the almost honorable group.
Gale stood up from his place near the fire, an unopened package floating beside his body, making a little flourish. "When I found out who companion I would gift, an immense honor took over my chest. My virtuosicâ"
"Chk," Lae'zel crossed her arms. The look on her face was clear: she was daring Gale to dare her. "Humanoid, use fewer words."
Gale breathe in, so close to losing it. One things is to be disrespected, an that he can bear, but to be interrupted? He prepared jokes, and it would even rhyme. Decided not to be the one that would ruin the night, he ignored her.
"To sum up," he smiled at Lae'zel. "What a honor to put a face to the name, Blade of Frontiers."
Wyll hugged Gale, patting his shoulder affectionately. "The honor is all mine to meet such a renowned wizarding prodig."
Gale handed over the package, and then sat back down by the fire. The wine goblet returned to the wizard's hand.
Wyll's smile gradually died. From the packaging, he took out a book. "General Theory of Contracts and Unilateral Acts?" He glared at Gale. "What should this mean?"
"I'm just helping my friend," Gale took a sip. "So in the future you won't sign any appealing contract."
Facing the book that soon will be burned, Wyll regret getting into debt with Tav just so he could buy the perfect gift.
Wyll picked up the bag left on the log, and ignored Shadowheart's giggles.
"In this year full of surprises, good ones and horrible ones, but meeting this person..." Wyll breathed. "Gale, you worthless cunt. Astarion, I hope you like this."
Astarion took the gift with his fingertips, excited to have guessed who had drawn him. He told Karlach that Wyll was acting strange lately. He didn't thanked Wyll, that is something he'll only do if his gift is good.
When he touched what was inside the bag, he knew that the fabric was of quality. And upon seeing the details of the black ensemble, Astarion's smile became real.
"Oh, darling," he purred. "You spoil me."
With a smug smile and a hesitation to provoke his companions, Astarion continued.
"To show that I am capable of doing the right thing from time to time," Astarion licked his fangs. "I spent arduous weeks collecting what I would need for tonight's best gift."
Everyone booed him.
Rolling his eyes, Astarion took the chest from his tent. "I smell the scent of jealousy coming from all of you," said Astarion. He stopped talking, just to play with everyone's feelings. "That one is to my sweet leader."
You cheered as you stood up. If there's one thing no one can say about Astarion, it's that he doesn't have good taste. After all, there is a reason for why he chose to bite you.
"Thank you, darling," you mirrored the way he talks to you. "That won't make me mad, will it?"
"Oh, Tav, you know me" your nickname flowed from his lips like honey. "I only play with your feelings when we have privacy."
When he handed you the trunk, you even stumbled under its weight. You placed it on one of the fallen trees. Opening it, a smile appeared on your face.
Potions. Lots of potions. Of all kinds. Speed, invisibility, healing. Poisons, coatings. From the most basic to the rarest.
Looking at Astarion, you pouted. "Thank you," you whispered.
Excited, you runned to your tent to take the hidden gift. Something on you told you the problems you got yourself into just to able to get that would be worth it.
"Oh gods," Gale murmured. Sarcams dripped from his tongue. "What is that? Can anyone tell?"
"On my defense," you pointed at him. No words made to your brain, so you breathed in. "How else would I pack an trident?"
"Not like that," said Shadowheart.
You chose not to discuss with them only because you knew that just wrapping it with red silk and a pink knot was a bad idea, but it still hurted to know that it was the best you could do. How can wrapping things be so difficult? Why no one told you that it would be so difficult?
"The person I gonna gift deserve the whole world, and one day I will sure that they get's it," you started. Surprised that Lae'zel didn't stopped you already, you continued. "I really wasn't expecting to like that person, but she won my heart so easily."
"Heart," Lae'zel murmured. "Is it Karlach?"
Karlach jumped from her place. "IS IT ME?!"
You showed your tongue to Lae'zel, then turned to Karlach. "Yes, it is!"
In a matter of seconds you were too far from the ground. Only when your breathing had already become a problem did Karlach carefully place you on the ground again.
Karlach tore open the wrapping, the trident glinting in her hands. She was already thanking you so happily. The only reason why she didn't hugged you again was because she didn't want to hurt you.
"This pretty girl in your hands is Nyrulna," you started. "Because of an spell, it'll return to your hand when thrown. Plus, no one can force you to drop it. It also creates an explosion. But the best part is that I found a way to make it red!"
Wyll sighed, and threw his book on the fire.
"Hey!" Gale yelled.
After a little dance to celebrate, Karlach tried to control her beaming smile. She didn't knew most of her companions felt their hearts getting warmer, but if she did it would have just worried her.
Karlach held onto the box she protected with her life to ensure no one would tamper with the gift. "This person deserves a fucking break and Iâ"
"Shadowheart," you yelled. "Is it Shadowheart?"
"You're fucking right!" Karlach pointed at the cleric. "Is it you, my girl! You're the one that deserve a break!"
"Well," Shadowheart forced a little smile. "Thank you. I guess."
Karlach handed over the small package, and without delay she pulled Shadowheart into a hug. The brunette had no option but to accept it. Carefully, Shadowheart opened the package and found a book with leather cover.
She threw the package on the floor to open it. "What is it about?" Shadowheart asked, flipping through the book.
"It's a collection of erotic stories," said Karlach.
Halsin took a sip from his goblet. Finally someone with taste.
Shadowheart ignored whatever wit comment Astarion made and took a deep breath. "Of course it is."
Shadowheart wasn't recovered from her gift, but the tiredness that overtook her members was also caused by the irony of what was about to happen.
"Lady of Sorrow guides us," Shadowheart whispered to herself. Instead of trying to make people guess who she's about to gift, Shadowheart just threw the box onto Lae'zel's lap. "There is no reason for me to delay this torture even more."
"Chk. Oh. This seems like it's you fate to deal with me." Lae'zel opened the box with one of her daggers. "Let's see if I will thank you, follower of Shar."
Inside the box, Lae'zel found several instruments for improving weapons. How she hated liking the gift. Lae'zel would like to do like Wyll and burn everything just to embarrass Shadowheart, but she couldn't damage such well-made instruments.
"Well done, cleric," Lae'zel hissed.
Lae'zel knew that her gift was the best, but there was a possibility that she did not thought about: maybe she had got the gift she would like to receive. Either way, it would be worth it.
"I share the cleric's interest for no unecessary fuss," Lae'zel was quickly to say. "Bear, I hope you enjoy this."
She handed over the box and walked away before Halsin could think about hugging her. Halsin undid the knot that kept the box closed, and everyone gasped at the sight of his gift.
You looked at Lae'zel. "How did you... Did you keep it all this time? How did you preserve it?"
In the glass above Halsin's hands was Minthara's head.
"You truly are..." Halsin sighed. He didn't knew what to say. "Civilized."
Before Halsin could recover, Gale approached the druid.
Unable to say anything, Halsin handed him the package. Gale didn't care, he just wanted to know what he had won. His smile didn't last a lot.
"Boots, Halsin?" He yelled. "Very mature of you. Very mature."
Wyll laughed at last.
if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference âĄ
@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.
#madwomansapologist#tavrem#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#astarion#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#shadowheart#shadowheart x reader#shadowheart x tav#lae'zel#lae'zel x reader#lae'zel x tav#gale of waterdeep#gale x tav#gale x reader#wyll x tav#wyll x reader#bg3 wyll#karlach#karlach x tav#karlack x reader#halsin#halsin x reader#halsin x tav
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So we know that killing Shi Wudu doesn't dissipate He Xuan, and there's lots of speculation about what's keeping him around (Shi Qingxuan, his debt, a mystery third thing)
But what if it's just grief?
Grief over his family's deaths, unnecessary and contrived and unstoppable by mortal means. Grief over his own stolen fate. Grief over his own lost humanity, over the thing he's become in pursuit of vengeance and closure. Maybe even grief over what he could've had with Shi Qingxuan, if things were a little different, a little kinder.
When he was alive, I'm guessing he didn't really have time to really mourn. He was too busy trying to survive, trying to fight an uphill battle against his newly-ordained and shitty as hell fate. That doesn't mean the pain wasn't thereâonly that it was probably compartmentalized, pushed aside, ignored. And though the whole quest for vengeance isâto him as leastâsome extreme act of filial piety, it is still an attempt to honour the dead and put his own ghosts to rest. But I wonder if part of that was instinct carried over from his lifeâto keep moving, keep going, find another scheme or plan or duty to latch onto to stay afloat without having to really sit with what happened to him and his family.
But now it's all over, and there's nothing left to distract him, and don't we all know that grief never truly fades?
Not to mention grief is often described as feeling like you're drowning...
Maybe this has already been said, and I don't really have anything super articulate to say about this lmao, but feel free to add on in the comments or lemme know what y'all think!
#also I saw a post once about how he and hua cheng are two sides of the same coin#and what is grief but the flip side of love?#he xuan#black water sinking ships#black water arc#tgcf#heaven official's blessing
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Took me a while because I literally did everyone lol, so here we have:
Obey me characters and their fashion styles Pt. 1
This is a fucking distraction my life is hell, it is constantly hell and I'm going to-
Also this is part 1 as there is the stupid 3 gifs/images per post limit Pt 2.
Lucifer
If it's not business themed he can't dress properly
The closest to comfy he gets is his pajamas which is also some formal shit, like sir are you having meetings in your dreams? Or are you afraid to show a little ankle even in your sleep?
If he's not dressed for work/massively formally then he's dressed like a dad
And not even a cool dad version a very very cringe dad fit, his brothers are too embarrassed to go out with him wearing dad clothes most of the time
Pretty sure itâs canon that he wears khakis and hawaiian printed shirts
Basically no sense of fashion which shouldnât be surprising given who he is
Let him dress you and you'll come out looking like a person from the Victorian Era
Mammon
Very flashy (AHHHHHH MY EYES!!!!)
There is always something shiny on his fit though you'll usually see him wearing something with gold colors on it
Definitely can dress but just always chooses the flashiest fits
Annoys tf out of Asmo because-
"YOU CAN DRESS WHY ARE YOU ONLY IN SHINY STUFF WHAT ABOUT THIS PRETTY THING RIGHT HERE?!?!?!?!?"
Has racked up debt from some of these fits and others are what he gets from modeling gigs
Also matches his glasses to is outfits
Let him dress you and you'll come out looking like a sparkling gem, a jewel many would want to obtain
Leviathan
He also gets on Asmo's last nerve because he can dress nicely even for casual shit, and can craft amazing and cool clothes so you'd think he's dress well
But he doesn't
Dresses like those over the top anime geeks (tbh no shame to y'all but the courage y'all have that I don't is amazing, I'm jealous and I want that)
If it's not that then it's a cosplay or some very very heavily anime coded fit whether that's the print or how a character dresses
The only way to get him to wear normal average clothes is to tell him (and show evidence sometimes) that it's an anime fit lol
If he realllllly has to then he can dress properly and really good
Let him dress you and you'll come out looking like an anime character or an anime geek unless you specifically request something (dress me anyway you want bby)
Satan
He wears whatever is comfy but subconsciously similar to Lucifer wears it very formally
Actually thinking about he dresses like the nerd he is, he dresses in the academia aesthetic
Can dress, and dresses very well and doesn't have a hard time picking out a good outfit though he does search through all his clothes to find a good one
Ask him to dress very formal and he's got it, Casual? Mhm! For a party? May not be the best but is acceptable! For a date? You know it!
Has this great amount of knowledge because of all the books he's read (huh I guess books can help in real world situations sometimes)
Asmodeous' favorite brother because he can actually dress in anything and has fashion sense and an aesthetic
Occasionally goes to Levi and dresses like a carboy in order to vibe with the kitties
Let him dress you and you'll come out looking like someone that goes to a prep college and aces all their exams
Asmodeus
Yk him, He's the Avatar of Lust FASHION!!!
On top of all trends, makes the trends 87% of the time on accident sometimes too
Can dress, will dress, can dress you too!
Will make very casual and basic fits look really good like even if it's cheap clothes or a trash bag you'd believe that it's expensive material and a style (barbie core mf)
Hates almost everyone's fits constantly has gotten used to how bad they may look at times and just ignores it
The prettiest bitch at the party
Let him dress you and you'll come out looking like the second prettiest bitch at the party (cause he's the prettiest ofc)
Beelzebub
Does not care what he wears as long as it's somewhat comfy and that he can move in it
Very bland and casual fits is his preference though
Mostly wears athletic fits as they are made to get dirty so if he's roughhousing or eating messily it won't be much of a hassle or problem
He's lucky he's gorgeous huge and muscular because his body really really does go with those fits and makes people/demons around him drool
Has that talent/skill that whatever he pulls out and puts on 8.5 times out of 10 he looks good in
Let him dress you and you'll come out looking ready to go for a workout
Belphegor
If you think Beel doesn't care about what he wears Belphie cares even less
Only cares if the clothes are comfortable enough to sleep in and even if they aren't he'll probably sleep in them still
Also has the ability to pull out a good fit from anything though you barley ever properly see it since he's often covered with a blanket or in some weird way that you can't see the fit properly
It's rare to see him actually care what he puts on but even even when he does you can be sure it's the most comfortable material that you've ever felt that now you're feeling kinda sleepy- (HEY HE SET US UP FOR A NAP DIDN'T HE!!!)
Let him dress you and you'll come out looking like a pillow, or something comfy and cuddly, or someone ready for bed or maybe all three (he planned this, you're his napping buddy now just let him use you to get comfy-)
Tags: @kisakis-boyfriend
#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me otome#obey me !#obey me headcannons#obey me nightbringer#obey me shall we date#obey me!#Obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me hcs#obey me headcanon#headcannons#om! shall we date
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everyone but her pt.22
Summary: A hidden part of your past comes back to haunt you. At least you've secured a special place in an unusual family's hearts. You would be paying off the debt for the rest of your life.
Word Count: 8.4k Warnings: swearing, violence, murder (in a flashback) Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Reader (everyone but her Masterlist) Taglist: @extinctspino @basichextechml @cfvgbhndun-new-blog @jinxscatbomb @awolfcsworld @suzhiman @gengen64 @eclipsesmoonshine14 @alexkolax @thenextdawn @cacciatricediartemide @cozwaenot @the-night-owl-blr @natashasapphic @elliesbabygirl @alilbitlesbian @irish-piece-of-trash @rainbow-love4ever @audigay @bakugounuggets @myfturn @rockwyn @bigbadsofty07 @andsoigotabutterfly @smromanoff @notheoneforlove
A/N: I've had a clusterfuck of a week and it's only Wednesday morning, so I'm giving y'all this 20mins early because I love y'all dearly đ«¶
The sun was out, shining down and leaving a nice little burn to your skin. It was the perfect day to be running around Niagara Falls with Nicky. People were all around, the birds were out, and you were already far too full from street food. It was perfect.
âWhat next?â Nicky asked once you had both finished your ice creams; you had strawberry and he had vanilla.
âHmm,â you hummed aloud, looking carefully over everything.
There were carnival games all around, those were always fun. But they cost money, so maybe not those. Go-karts would be fun, but you werenât tall enough to drive them and Nicky was a bad driver. You could always go see the birds again, but Nicky had gotten bored. There had to be something you could both do.
Oh!
âThe skywheel!â You shouted. No one could see, but your little wings flapped under your shirt.
âReally?â Nicky asked, his hand pressing gently on your back to keep your wings steady. It was comforting. âWhy? You can see that view any time.â
âBut you canât,â you said. He looked down at you. âI want you to see what I see!â
âOkay,â he said with a smile, and you turned around to look at the skywheel.
It was so much fun! The birds were out, the sun was shining over the water, and the man at the bottom let you go around three times! Even Nicky had fun, pointing out people, talking about how pretty the sky was. Maybe he could appreciate the view a little better when you tried to fly without permission next time.
âCan we go to the gardens tomorrow?â You asked while you picked at the nachos Nicky had gotten. They had tomatoes on them. Yuck.
âWe can,â he said. He wasnât really paying attention to you, but that was okay because you werenât paying attention to him either. âIf you want to.â
âAre we camping again tonight?â You asked. All the tomato pieces finally rested in the corner of the paper tray and you could eat in peace.
âYeah,â Nicky said with a sigh. âWeâll head out when youâre done eating.â
âArenât you still hungry?â You asked.
âNah,â he said with a smile. âFinish it.â
âHere,â you said, pushing the tray a little closer to his hand, âI saved the tomatoes for you.â
He hesitated, but after looking at you for a minute he reached forward and grabbed a nacho. They were going cold, but you were just happy to share. You had noticed he hadnât been eating as much since you had left Nevermore for the trip, and he definitely needed more food.
Besides, it was yummy, why wouldnât he want some?
After watching the sun set over the falls, it was time to start the trip down to where you had both camped last night. It was a nice little spot down by the nature trails below the falls. You had met some nice people down there when you arrived. They had even loaned you a tent!
âHold my hand,â Nicky said when the street lights were on and you were taking a shortcut through one of the alleys. âDonât let go.â
âWhy not?â You asked, but reached for his hand anyway. It was warm.
âJust donât,â he said again. His head was looking all around, but you were very focused on the cotton candy the nice man at the cart had given you.
âA little late to be wandering around, donât you think?â
Yours and Nickyâs heads turned quickly to see two men walking into the alley behind you. They were tall, even taller than daddy. They had some nice smiles on their faces. Were they taking a shortcut to the trails too?
âWeâre just going home,â Nicky said. You opened your mouth to argue - you were going to the campground, not home - but he gave you a look that had you shutting your mouth again.
âAll alone?â The other man asked with a tilt of his head. âYour parents let you walk alone at night?â
âWe can help,â the first man said. âWe know a nice place you can both stay.â
âNo thank you,â Nicky said. He pulled your hand as he backed away, making you stumble over your own feet. You nearly dropped your cotton candy. âCome on.â
Nicky kept his eyes on the two men as he continued to pull you with him. You tried to walk backwards just like him, but you stepped on something and stumbled, dropping one of the rocks you had snuck into your pocket. Without questioning it, you turned around and bent down to pick it up, your wings fluttering under your shirt to help you straighten up again.
âWould you look at that,â the second man said, and Nicky froze. âWe found ourselves a little Outcast.â
âNicky is too!â You said.
âY/N, hush-â
â-No no, let her talk,â the first man said. They were walking closer. âYou like to talk, kid?â
âAll the time,â you said with a smile. He was smiling too.
âWhat do you like to talk about?â He asked again. The second man was moving sideways. Where was he going?
âBirds,â you said without hesitation. âOh, and rocks! Wanna see the ones I found today?â
âI'd love to see them," he continued. He took another step closer. "Why don't you come with us to our house and you can show us all the rocks."
"Ok-"
"-Don't touch us," Nicky interrupted, harshly pulling you behind him.
âDonât get so defensive,â the second man said. You turned your head and saw him standing behind you both. âWe just want to give you kids a place to sleep.â
âI thought you wanted to see my rocks,â you said with a huff. The men got closer.
âHow about you just come with us,â the first man said as he reached out and grabbed your arm.
âI said donât!â Nicky shouted.
He dropped your hand and ran head first, hitting the first man's stomach. They both hit the ground hard. You tried to go help, but a big pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you back into a big body.
âYouâre gonna stay here with me,â the second man said in your ear. He smelled funny.
But the moment the first man hit Nicky with his knee, you lunged forward. Those big hands pulled you back, but you just ducked down further and he let go. Then it was your turn to hit the first man. You knocked him off of Nicky and felt your knee scrape on the ground.
âYou fucking brats,â the first man spit out. He pulled something out of his pocket. Nicky was still on the ground holding his stomach.
The moment you saw the knife in the first manâs hand, you turned around to run. You knew to run away from danger, Nicky had taught you that. But you didnât get very far before you felt someone pick you up. One hand covered your mouth and you bit down hard.
He screamed and dropped you to the ground again. It hurt your feet. You tried to run again, but the man knocked you over. He turned you around, his body pressing you into the hard ground. You turned your head and saw Nicky fighting with the second man.
It didnât look like Nicky was winning.
âJust stay still,â the first man said above you. He smelled funny too.
Fight back, a little voice in your head said.
What had you seen Nicky do before? He had gotten into fights before, what did he do? Oh! You threw your head forward, feeling the sharp ache when it connected with the first manâs nose. He grunted and pulled back a little bit, but then you felt something hit the side of your face.
Everything started ringing and the alley started spinning. You could feel him pressing into you again, and your wings started to hurt from the ground. Fight back, the little voice said again, so you did. You threw your arms and legs out everywhere, trying to hit something. But then you felt something sharp press against your neck and you stopped.
âJust kill âem already,â the second man called out. He sounded like he had been running for a long time.
âWith pleasure,â the first man said above you.
No. You felt the knife press into your neck and the sting that followed. What did you do? What were you supposed to do? Nicky had never taught you how to fight a knife!
Knock it away, the little voice said, and grab it.
You thrashed around again, making sure to hit the hand that was holding the knife. The first man groaned again and you kicked your leg up. You donât know what you hit, but he screamed and rolled off of you. You scrambled to your hands and knees and looked around.
There was the knife.
Your fingers touched the knife right when the first man got on you again. He tried to grab the knife too, his hand much bigger than yours. As soon as you felt your hand grab it, you turned around and swung it.
âFuck!â
The first man pulled back really fast, holding his cheek. Something red was coming out from between his fingers. He pulled his hand back and you both looked at the blood, and your eyes went to the big cut on his cheek.
âYou little bitch,â he said in a mean voice. âCome here.â
He lunged at you again, but you closed your eyes and held the knife out in front of you. Something hit the knife, pushing you back onto the ground again. You heard a gasp and opened your eyes.
The knife was sticking out of the manâs shoulder. He looked at you in shock before his mouth turned into a frown. When he tried to grab you, you pulled the knife out and stabbed him with it again, this time in his hand.
He reached forward, grabbing your wrist and pulled you back. But instead of pulling, you moved forward and he fell onto his back with you on top of him. Stab him, the little voice said; it sounded mean. Without any hesitation, you grabbed the knife with both hands and brought it down. And you did it again. And again. And again again again again again-
-Something warm splashed against your face. The man was screaming, so you closed your eyes and tried to tune him out. You hummed. But you kept bringing the knife down over and over and over and over and over and-
â-Y/N!â
Smaller hands held your wrists, stopping you from bringing the knife down. You opened your eyes again and saw Nicky looking at you. He had blood on his face and clothes and a few cuts all over. Was he okay?
âLet me have it,â Nicky said softly, and he took the knife from your hands. Your fingers felt stiff like they didnât want to let go. âAre you okay?â
You didnât know. What had just happened anyway? You were supposed to be at the campgrounds with Nicky about now, right? Why werenât you both down there with those nice weird people from the other night?
The man wasnât moving underneath you.
âWe have to go,â Nicky said. He was looking all over. âWe need to go.â
He wrapped his arms around you to pull you up to your feet. Your legs were all wobbly. Nicky grabbed your hand and started pulling you. You looked back and saw the two men laying on the ground. They were really still. Were they okay?
âWe have to go,â Nicky said again as he pulled you further down the alley before you both started running-
â-Smith!â
Your head shot up from the hole you had been staring into the table. The quick movement gave you a headache and made your bruised side throb; jail had not been kind to you. Nothing could have properly prepared you for the difference between the singular Jericho cell and an actual jail down in D.C.
People here were mean.
âYouâve got another date with the detectives,â Officer Hartman called out once you still hadnât moved.
âBetter get movinâ, cupcake,â your new bestest friend Erin said with a smug look that you wanted to beat off her. Again. âHartman might scuff up that pretty face of yours.â
âWhat would I do without your all-encompassing wisdom,â you mumbled as you stood up, inhaling lightly as the bruises on your torso pulled.
âYou sure you graduated highschool?â She asked. âCause youâre sure actinâ stupid as hell.â
âStill smarter than you and your white trash girl group,â you said with a tilt of your head.
âWanna say that to my face, Outcast?â Erin asked, standing abruptly to be toe-to-toe with you. In your peripheral, you could see the rest of her gang starting to circle up.
âI thought I did,â you said. She was smaller than you, but far more aggressive. Surprisingly. âI guess your ass and face look the same, thatâs my bad.â
âYou little-â
â-Summers!â
Erinâs fist stayed cocked and ready as Officer Hartman casually walked up to the group, one hand resting on the baton on her belt. A shiver went down your spine at the sight of it; you certainly didnât want to be on the other end of it again any time soon.
âEverything alright over here?â Officer Hartman asked, looking between both you and Erin.
âJust showing my little friend the ropes,â Erin said with a sickeningly sweet smile. Oh, you wanted to beat that off her too.
âYou can show her later,â Officer Hartman said before turning to look at you. âLetâs get going, kid.â
âSee you later, girly pop,â you said with your own smile before you blew a kiss in Erinâs direction.
Youâre going to get your ass beat, the voice at the back of your head said. It was almost nice to hear; it had been a few days and you were getting worried it had disappeared. Wow, you were really attempting to make friends with the voice inside your head. Did that make you crazy?
Yes. Yes, it absolutely did.
âAssume the position,â Officer Hartman ordered once you were out of the common area.
It was a bit odd to be accustomed to the cold bite of the shackles placed around your wrists and ankles. To find a certain comfort in the way they were chained to the belt around your waist. You didnât know what the explanation was, but it was probably something you needed therapy for.
Therapy is for pussies, the voice said. You didnât necessarily disagree.
âYou gonna behave today?â Officer Hartman asked when she started leading you to the interrogation room.
âYes maâam,â you said confidently.
âGood girl,â she said. âMaybe weâre finally beating that arrogance out of you.â
You didnât say anything in reply; it was better that way. But her words made your side throb again. How bad was it now? It had been two days, surely it was looking nice and ugly at this point. But you hadnât looked at it yet; you werenât sure you wanted to know. Not that the detectives would care, nor would anyone else you were going to come into contact with.
âWelcome back, kid,â Detective Waller said when Officer Hartman led you into the interrogation room.
âAfternoon,â you said quietly as you let Hartman unshackle you and then cuff you to the half-circle thing on the table. You didnât know what it was called, but it was kind of fun to run the cuff chain back and forth on it-
â-Stop it,â Hartman ordered.
âSorry,â you mumbled, quickly sitting back in your seat to look at Detectives Waller and Pearce. You didnât like them. Something about them wasnât trustworthy.
âHow you been?â Waller asked once Hartman left the room. He and Pearce seemed more laid back; you certainly did not.
âFine,â you said. You refused to look up from where your hands were chained to the table.
A lot of precautions for a single 18 year old, the voice mused.
âI hear youâve been making friends,â Pearce said, his voice always softer than Wallerâs. âWe can help you with that problem, you know.â
âYouâve just gotta tell us what happened,â Waller finished. He leaned forward to rest his forearms on the desk. âWe have proof, so just tell us how it went down.â
âWe donât need to know about the domestic,â Pearce said. âWe have an entire room full of people who saw what happened.â
âJust tell us about Niagara,â Waller finished.
This again. They had been asking for over a week at that point. Why couldnât they just let it go? You hadnât even remembered it until they brought it up that first day. Maybe you had done it, sure, but how were you supposed to remember all the details?
âQuit looking at your hands,â Waller said harshly. âLook at me.â
And you did. You looked up at him and instantly felt like you were a kid again. The way they were both looking at you like a child about to get scolded. Like all the times when you would get in trouble with your mom and dad and be sent to your room to think about what you did.
It made you feel small.
âWeâve got your prints on the murder weapon,â Pearce said, attempting to take over the conversation. âJust tell us what happened and we can get you away from Erin.â
No he canât, the voice said.
You kept your mouth shut.
âYouâre making it pretty hard on yourself, kid,â Waller said. He leaned further; he was getting too close. âYou know what happens when you refuse to cooperate?â
âYou already arrested me,â you said. âSo you clearly feel confident enough without a confession.â Waller narrowed his eyes. âNot much else you can threaten me with.â
âWe can always have you transferred to a different block,â Pearce said with a tilt of his head.
âI hear Block C has a soft spot for Outcasts,â Waller continued.
Donât listen to them.
âIâm sure youâd make a lot of new friends over there.â Your hands were feeling sweaty.
âYou can be cellmates with Miss Byrne.â
Fight back.
Your ears were ringing.
âI think sheâs in for killing an Outcast, isnât she?â
Donât let them do this.
Your heart wanted to jump out of your throat.
âThink she did. Five, if I remember right.â
âIâm sure sheâs rehabilitated now though.â
âProbably wouldnât even think twice to-â
â-Good afternoon, everyone.â
All three of you whipped your heads toward the door to see a man walking into the interrogation room. His dark hair was slicked back except for one or two strands hanging over his face, and his light goatee was, honestly, pretty fabulous. He kind of reminded you of Zorro.
What was Zorro doing in your interrogation room?
âCan we help you?â Pearce asked when it was clear Waller was still too busy glaring at the new man.
âJair Moreno,â the man said with a big, bright smile. âIâm here to talk with my client.â He had a comfortingly deep voice, and a stunning accent. It reminded you of Mr. Addams.
âClient?â Waller asked.
âI donât have a lawyer,â you said with a frown, finally able to voice something.
âThen itâs a good thing Iâm here, no?â He said. His smile turned less performative when he looked at you.
Donât trust him.
âShe never asked for a lawyer,â Waller continued. You almost wanted to laugh at how red his face was getting. He was mad.
Good.
âIf you keep him around, we canât talk to you anymore,â Pearce said with a smile that was a rather pitiful attempt at comfort. âWe canât help you.â
âIâŠâ you looked back and forth between the detectives and your (supposed) lawyer. âI would like to talk with him.â
âItâs your funeral, kid,â Waller said with a huff, pushing his chair back harshly and shoving past Mr. Moreno.
âYou have the room,â Pearce said quickly before following suit, though in a much less aggressive way. Both you and Mr. Moreno watched and waited until the door clicked shut again, and you were finally alone.
âMy apologies for being so late,â he said with a friendly smile as he sat down in the seat across from you. âIt took two days to find you.â
âI appreciate you coming, Mr. Moreno-â
â-Señor,â he corrected. âItâs a simple difference, but it makes the white men uncomfortable in these parts.â He winked as if he was letting you in on a little secret.
âSeñor Moreno,â you said; the word didnât sound as pretty coming from your mouth, but he smiled and nodded at you once anyway. âBut I canât afford you. And I never called you.â
âNo you didnât,â he said quickly, âa close friend informed me of the situation. Said youâre like another child to him.â
You wracked your brain to think of who could have possibly called someone for you. Everyone had seen you getting arrested at the RaveâN, so it wasnât like you could pick from who had known. And you were close with a lot of parents. Had it been a teacher? No, probably not. It certainly wasnât Sheriff Galpin; he liked you well enough, but you were also a major thorn in his side.
Itâs a trap, the voice said. You physically shook your head to get it out. Now wasnât the time for paranoia.
âI donât know who would have called,â you finally said. He was being far too nice, it was starting to be a little creepy. Maybe it was the time for some paranoia.
âNo?â You shook your head slowly, and his smile fell into something smaller, much more comforting. âGomez Addams gave me a call.â
Oh.
âWell then I certainly canât afford you,â you said immediately. Señor Moreno laughed a deep belly laugh.
âHe said you would say that,â he chuckled. âThatâs why Iâm taking your case pro bono.â
âThatâs not a smart business decision,â you mumbled, looking down at your hands and away from his gaze. His eyes reminded you of Wednesdayâs; dark, like perfectly stained wood.
Youâre going to owe them, the voice said. Youâll never be able to repay them. Youâll be in their debt for the rest of your life.
âBut it is my decision to make,â he said. You didnât look up from your hands but nodded absentmindedly.
You felt small again.
âLetâs go ahead and get down to business,â Señor Moreno said.
You nodded and braced yourself for whatever it was he was going to say. You hoped it wasnât going to be all bad news. There was only so much more you could take.
âLetâs talk about the domestic first,â he said, and you nodded. âWe wonât deny it happened, that would be foolish. But what was your emotional state at that moment?â
He blamed Outcasts; he blamed you. Your fist pounded into flesh and bone again and again and again and ag-
â-I donât know,â you said with a shrug and another shake of your head to get the image of blood out of your mind.
âWere you aware of what you were doing at the time?â He probed. âOr did you only realise afterwards?â
âIâŠâ you sighed. âI didnât know until after.â
âAnd it happened impulsively?â
âYes.â
âThen we shall go with an extreme emotional disturbance defence,â he said. âIâve used it in New York, Iâm sure I can find a loophole here.â
âSo itâs actually going to trial?â You asked, your shoulders sagging. You couldnât handle a trial.
âNot necessarily,â he said, his eyes meeting yours. It was almost hypnotising. He was actually pretty handsome.
Donât be a whore.
âNow tell me about this double homicide,â he said, looking down at notes that you hadnât even realised he had. âThey have yet to declare it either a murder or manslaughter because of your age at the time.â
âUh, I was 9- 10,â you blinked frantically. â10, I was 10. Nicky was 14.â So young? âWe walked west for a few days and had a mini vacation.â The knife flashed under the street lamps. âTwo guys trapped us in an alley one night and tried to kidnap us.â You blinked hard again. âOr not, I donât know, they just tried to get us to go with them.â
âWhat happened next?â Señor Moreno asked. His voice was far too soft and quiet, it was unsettling. He shouldnât be so gentle.
âUh, Nicky got into a fight with one of them and I got in a fight with the other,â you mused as you shook your head slowly, your eyes darting back and forth but not seeing anything. âThe one I was fighting pulled a knife on me, so I knocked it out of his hand andâŠâ
The knife came down again and again and again again again again again-
âAnd you fought back,â Señor Moreno finished for you.
You inhaled sharply, not realising you had been holding your breath. The room suddenly felt too cold and too enclosed. Your wings itched under the makeshift harness the jail had forced you to wear. You wanted to get out. It was too much, you wanted to leave.
âA double homicide sure, but sounds like self-defence to me,â he said.Â
âTechnically I only killed one,â you mused, blinking a few times to clear the haze so you could look back up at Señor Moreno.
âI suppose thatâs true,â he said with a light laugh.
âGuess Nicky was right though,â you said to yourself. âIâll always remember Niagara.â
âWhat did you say?â Señor Morenoâs head shot up from his notes. You frowned at him. âWhere did you go?â
âNiagara Falls?â You said hesitantly.
âWhich side?â He asked. He was leaning over the table to get close to you, his hands reaching out to grab your own. You let out a sigh; you had missed the touch of soft hands.
âUhh,â you shook your head and your mouth flopped open and closed a few times. âThe left side?â
âNo no, which country,â he corrected quickly. âWere you on the American side, or the Canada side?â
âI donât-â
â-What were the falls shaped like?â He asked. He was talking far too quickly, it was making your head spin.
âIâŠâ your eyes swung left and right, over and over as you tried to remember.
âSee that?â Nicky asked, pointing to the falls. You could see them perfectly from your spot on his shoulders. âWhat does it look like to you?â
âA waterfall,â you said with a giggle. He lightly pinched your thigh.
âWhat else?â He asked with his own little chuckle.
âUmm.â You tilted your head so you could think better. âIt looks like a U.â
âItâs a horseshoe,â he said. âPretty cool, right?â
âA horseshoe,â you said with a slow, dazed nod of your head. âIt looked like a horseshoe.â
Señor Moreno let go of your hands - you instantly missed the warmth - and leaned back in his chair. His hands went behind his head and he smiled. He looked at you, looked into your very soul, and smiled. You frowned. What was he smiling about?
âYouâre not going to trial,â he said with a chuckle.
âHow do you know?â You asked with a tilt of your head. Your palms were getting itchy. And sweaty.
âYouâll find out tomorrow,â he said. âWe have a meeting with your parents and their lawyer.â
âI canât see them,â you said quickly, eyes going wide. âI canât.â
âThey canât touch you,â he replied. âIf theyâre smart, they wonât even talk to you.â
It didn't comfort you, not really. What would it matter if they couldnât talk to you? They would still be there; you would have to face the people who were supposed to care for you. Love you. Who should have been on your side from the very beginning, not getting you arrested.
âYouâll come back for me tomorrow?â You asked.
âRight after we post your bail,â he said with the most genuine look you had seen since arriving at jail.
âYou promise?â You asked again.
He looked at you for a moment with a tilted head and slightly furrowed brows. What was he thinking? Heâs not coming back for you, the voice said. But he reached out and placed gentle hands over yours and gave them a light squeeze.
âI promise on my abuelaâs grave,â he said softly. Oh so softly.
It made you feel small. But in a good way.
Just the knowledge that you were going to get out was enough to make the rest of the day go by faster. You didnât even care that Erin and her girl gang were glaring daggers at you the whole day. The only thing on your mind was getting to get out of this fucking jail and get back to the real world again.
You ignored the fact that the real world also sucked.
And that you were not prepared to deal with the real world yet.
Because youâre a coward, the voice in your head said.
You still slept like a baby.
The next morning you took your time heading to the showers; you had picked up on the fact that everyone either showered immediately, or not at all. If you waited just a little longer, the odds of you being alone were exponentially high. It worked out perfectly, and since you werenât too worried about being late to anything anymore, you took your time.Â
Even though it was a bit cold by that time, it felt nice as it cascaded over your face. With your eyes closed, you could just focus on the sound of the water. The goal wasnât necessarily to wash off anymore, just try to keep your heart and mind in check. You were almost there. Just a little longer.
The water shut off only a moment later, and you let out a frustrated sigh. Of course you hadnât been keeping track of the time. But it was okay, you would be out soon and could get a hot shower later if you really wanted it. Now all you need to do was dry off and-
-something hard hit the back of your knees and you immediately fell to the ground. The vibration travelled up your palms and the crack of your knees on the tile resonated through your bones and, if nothing else, the bruises that would paint themselves on your skin would be stunning. Wednesday would appreciate the grotesque colours, that was for sure.
You pushed yourself up and looked down at your palms to see the already reddened, sensitive skin on the heels. It ached, and both of your forearms throbbed lightly with each heartbeat. That was going to be a pain in the ass to-
-something rough pulled tight against your neck and yanked you back off your knees. Your hands instantly lifted to pull against it, trying to get your fingers underneath to ease the pressure on your throat. You could feel yourself being pulled backwards across the slick floor until you came to a stop.
Pull it away, the voice ordered. You couldnât breathe.
Erin stepped in front of you.
âHey, girly pop,â she said with a grin as she crouched down to be at eye level with you. âHeard youâre leaving today.â
The thing around your throat pulled tighter; it made you choke.
âWe couldnât let you leave without a goodbye present,â one of the women behind you practically taunted.
âMaybe afterwards youâll learn not to run that big mouth of yours.â Erinâs grin was malicious at best, downright demonic at worst.
They were smart. You knew they were. The moment they pulled whatever was choking you tighter and your hands tried to pull it down, Erin swung. A solid punch that left your ears ringing and the world spinning. The throb in your eye was instant. Only when you were truly dazed did they really get started.
They were smart.
The bruises on your side had already ached before this. Now they genuinely hurt. Each new blow and kick stole what little air you had left in your lungs, and you didnât know what to do. Did you keep trying not to suffocate? Or did you try to fight back? You couldnât do both, you were outnumbered.
Fight back, the voice said. But how could you do that when you felt something crack in your side and you couldnât fucking breath-
â-Whatâs going on in here?â
It was as if a switch flipped in the room. They instantly released you, and you gasped for air like your life depended on it. You sputtered and coughed, falling forward onto your hands and knees again except this time you didnât pay attention to the pain in the heel of your palm.
No, this time you were too busy trying not to choke on your own blood.
âFive to one doesnât seem too fair.â Miss Ethelâs voice echoed off the tiled walls; it sounded fuzzy through the ringing in your ears.
Something red was going down the shower drain.
âWeâre just wishing our little friend good luck in the big outside world,â Erin said quickly. At least thatâs what you thought she said, you couldnât actually tell.
âGet going,â Miss Ethel said. You squeezed your eyes shut when the volume of her voice sent a migraine shooting down every nerve in your body. âNow.â
And just like that, they left. Left you on the floor of the showers with a foggy brain and the taste of blood on your tongue. Stand up. No. No, you didn't want to stand up. You wanted to curl up on the cold ground and lay in a pool of your own blood until the foggiest eased and your throat was no longer on fire.
"Come on, baby, get up," Miss Ethel said in a far softer voice that had reminded you of Abuelita.
Her old worn hands held you by the shoulders and steadied you, not rushing you but there as a crutch. As you moved and stretched and stood up, she was there to support you the whole time. Only when you were back up to your feet did she look up at you with a frown.
"So youâre only good for starting fights, not finishing them?â She asked, looking you up and down to assess the damage.
She needs to shut up.
âJust caught off guard,â you mumbled. Your mouth filled again and you spit near the drain; it was a mesmerising dark red. âI can finish fights.â
âNot today though, I see,â she continued. âDecided to be a gentleman, did you?â
âI had it,â you huffed. Something in her eyes reminded you of someone. Someone who cared. âI didnât need your help.â
âI can see that,â she said with a solemn nod. âYou certainly look like someone who had it covered.â
You gonna let her talk to you like that?
âListen, baby,â Miss Ethel said, her voice dropping a tone and sounding more like a friend. Like someone who cared. âStop pushing people away. Soon theyâll quit trying.â
âThey already did,â you mumbled, your head falling. Your eyes squeezed shut again as a hammer started pounding away at the inside of your skull.
âThen get them back,â she said. You didnât open your eyes but could feel her hand on your still-naked shoulder. âAll that rage and loneliness has to come out sometime. Donât put your friends on the receiving end and keep your head up. Sad birds still sing.â
âYou sound poetic,â you said, finally opening your eyes to meet hers. âNot like someone who murdered her husbands.â
âRead it in a book somewhere,â she said with her charming smile that was missing a few teeth. âEven black widows have some wisdom buried deep down.â
You chuckled lightly before inhaling sharply. Something was definitely broken, probably a rib. It was sticking into your lungs and it just hurt. Every breath, every movement, it hurt. But you took a slow, deep breath and stood up straight again.
No giving up.
âLetâs get you dressed and ready to be picked up,â Miss Ethel said. âBefore anyone comes looking for you.â
Miss Ethel helped clean the bit of blood off of you and tidied you up the best she could with what she had. You picked up the towel that had been wrapped around your neck only moments before. It was rough and white. The scratchiness in your throat came back.
You looked brand new by the time you put your suit back on and was escorted out of the jail. It was weird to be wearing the suit, but you supposed it was all you had. Certainly better than nothing, at least. If it wasnât for the newly blackened eye and broken nose and bruised jaw and⊠well, anyway, you would have looked ready for the RaveâN.
In theory.
âDios mĂo,â Señor Moreno said when he met you outside the jail, running up to you and checking over your face.
âIâm fine,â you said quickly. âI just wanna go.â
âOf course,â he said with a simple nod before withdrawing his hands. âThen letâs get going.â
He led you to the front where a car was waiting, and you hesitated. These things werenât just dangerous anymore; now they had rightfully killed Nicky. Sure, you had been in the police van on the way down, but this was⊠it was different. It was smaller and more dangerous.
It was scarier.
Just get in, the voice goaded you. And against everything you had, your feet carried you until you got into the passenger seat.
You couldnât recall the ride to wherever you were meeting everyone. Nothing about it registered in your head, almost like a blackout. The only thing you became aware of was sitting down in the chair in that big empty room and waiting for everyone else to show up.
That was pretty scary.
âGood morning, Y/N,â someone said in an accented voice, and you and Señor Moreno turned around to greet everyone.
You remembered the man. Vaguely, of course. He was a friend of your dadâs, someone he had gone to law school with. Stokes; Luke Stokes. He was older now, had more grey in his hair, a few more wrinkles. If you remembered right, he had favoured you over Nicky.
But you averted your eyes the moment you saw your parents enter the room.
âYouâve certainly grown into a stunning young adult,â Mr. Stokes said with a polite smile.
âThank you,â you said in a raspy voice; it itched your throat again. Everyone quickly sat down and you let your eyes fall to the table.
âLetâs get started, shall we?â Mr. Stokes asked once everyone was settled. âYou mentioned you were open to a plea deal?â
âOf course,â Señor Moreno said with his own smile. âA trial would be tedious for everyone, no?â
âIâm glad we agree,â Mr. Stokes said as he started shuffling some papers. It was an irritating sound; he wasnât even looking for anything in particular, you could tell. âLetâs make this simple. Miss Smith pleads guilty and only serves 7 years.â
âIâll make it simpler,â Señor Moreno retorted, leaning back in his seat. You felt his foot kick yours slightly. âShe pleads guilty, pays her fine, and goes to anger management.â
âAbsolutely not,â your dad cut in loudly. You flinched and reached your hand out on instinct; Señor Moreno grabbed it quickly under the table. âAssault and murder?â
âMarcus-â
â-No!â His voice was far too loud, only being drowned out by the racing pulse in your ears. âItâs insulting.â
âWe have witnesses for the domestic and prints for the murder,â Mr. Stokes said. Your eyes were closed but you guessed he was trying to calm your dad back down. âWhy would we let her off without a sentence?â
The domestic was a simple emotional disturbance,â Señor Moreno said nonchalantly. âHer brother had just died tragically, any juror would understand.â
âAnd the murder?â
âJust so happened to occur on Canadian soil.â He sounded cocky.
Watch their reactions, the voice said. Again, without any intention to do so, your eyes slowly opened and you looked up across the table.
Your dad was furious; his skin was darkened and there was a fire in his eyes. A dangerous fire. He was looking directly at you like he wanted to lunge across the table and strangle you where you sat. Maybe he did. Maybe he would.
Iâd like to see him try, the voice growled. And for the first time in a while, you agreed.
âThe United States would never extradite one of their own,â Señor Moreno continued, âlet alone a small Outcast child who was defending herself from kidnappers.â
âAny jury would still convict,â Mr. Stokes said. âItâs a good deal, Moreno. Just accept it and letâs all go home.â
The room fell silent. A silence so thick you could choke on it. Everyone was looking at everyone else, watching, waiting to see who would speak first. You didnât want to take the deal. Seven years in prison? Not even a jail, a prison? You could hold your own, but you would rather die than be subjected to that. There already was very little to live for. It would be the final straw.
Señor Moreno squeezed your hand before leaning forward on the table.
âWe will have to reject this deal,â he said with a sigh. âA trial will be tedious, but well worth it.â He looked directly at your dad and you noticed the slightest smirk on his face. âI suppose the knowledge that my client is an Outcast will come to light during the trial.â
Your parentsâ faces fell instantly. A laugh tried to bubble up from your throat, and you quickly coughed and cleared your throat to hide it. You bit your bottom lip hard as you looked back up to meet their eyes. For the first time, you saw something that almost made the pain worth it.
They were scared.
âI hope your clients are ready for-â
â-Hold on,â your dad interrupted. âThereâs no need for that.â
âSo you will accept our terms then?â Señor Moreno asked with a tilt of his head. You turned your head to hide your smile.
Gotcha.
He squeezed your hand again as your parents leaned closer to talk to Mr. Stokes. With another turn of your head, you looked at him. He had a cocky smile on his face that was reserved only for you. And truthfully, you trusted him.
âWeâll agree to your terms,â Mr. Stokes sighed, âbut the battery remains on her record.â
Shit.
Señor Moreno looked at you again, waiting patiently for an answer. If a violent crime went on your record, you would never be able to move on. You would have to disclose it to jobs, everyone could look it up and find out. It would ruin your life.
But at least it was a lifeâŠ
You nodded once.
âWe accept,â Señor Moreno said quickly, holding his hand out for Mr. Stokes to shake it.
You hoped you hadnât just handed your life over to something you couldnât fix.
â---
The next few days were total chaos. Señor Moreno had allowed you to stay in his guest room before the next day of court. It was a kind gesture, truly it was, but the bed was too soft and the house was too quiet. There was no way to get any sort of sleep so you just stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling and letting your thoughts consume you.
Then he took you to the doctor, letting them check you over. Two broken ribs, one fractured, a broken nose, and some deep bruising. Nothing too horrifying, you had dealt with worse. The horrifying part came when it was time to pay and Señor Moreno didnât even let you see it. He just paid for it all himself.
âAny child of Gomezâs is a child of mine,â he said with a charming smile.
It made you feel small. And a little warm inside.
Donât get soft, the voice said, itâll ruin you.
The day of court was far simpler than you had thought it would be. At least it was now that you had Señor Moreno on your side. The judge accepted the plea and let you off with a simple âyouâre young, donât throw your life away.â You just mumbled a âyes sirâ and left with Señor Moreno guiding you out of the courthouse.
âWhat now?â You asked as you pulled on the tie around your neck. It was a shame the only nice outfit you had was your suit to the RaveâN; it had quickly turned uncomfortable.
âNow you go home,â he said with a smile, still guiding you down the steps of the courthouse. Thanks to your parentsâ aversion to Outcasts, there had been little to no publicity. âYouâll start your anger management once the new year starts.â
âAnd the fine?â You asked.Â
It had been weighing on your mind since the judge had issued it; $15,000. There was no way in hell you would ever be able to pay that off. A few dozen feet away, your parents descended the courthouse steps, eyeing you for a moment before they looked elsewhere. Your hand quickly travelled to the crystal pendent the Addamses had given you; you still kept it around your neck at all times.Â
âI canât afford it.â
âItâs already taken care of.â
You stopped fidgeting with the crystal and nearly tripped over the last stair. Señor Moreno held his hand out to your arm to steady you before you could look up. Mr. and Mrs. Addams were standing near their car with Lurch still inside. Mrs. Addams had a soft smile while Mr. Addams immediately went to clap Señor Moreno on the back.
You didnât bother trying to keep up as they started talking in Spanish. Abuelita really needed to teach you.
âHow are you feeling, little bird?â Mrs. Addams asked softly as her hand reached out to brush against your cheek. You instantly leaned into the gentle touch.
Stop being vulnerable.
âIâm fine,â you said even though you both clearly knew it was a lie.
âThank you again, Jair,â Mrs. Addams said, and you turned just enough to see Mr. Addams and Señor Moreno walking closer. She still pulled you closer until her arm was around your waist.
She was being far too soft with you, it was making you nervous. But it also left you feeling cared for, maybe even loved. Fuck, when had you truly last felt loved? Mama Weems aside simply because she still had to work all the time, of course. Shit. Now you were just getting sad.
Itâs pathetic.
âOf course, Tish,â Señor Moreno said with a smile. âLet me know if anything else comes up.â
âWe will,â Mr. Addams said.
Everyone bid their goodbyes to Señor Moreno and watched as he walked away, leaving you with the Addamses. It made you uncomfortable in ways you couldnât properly express. How much of their money had you wasted on this whole situation? How much time had you stolen from them?
âAre you ready to go home, little bird?â Mr. Addams asked. He still looked to be in good spirits.
You opened your mouth to answer but instantly felt that lump in your throat again. It was not going to cause you to cry, not now. You closed your mouth and nodded once instead, and thankfully they took that as an acceptable answer. Mrs. Addams opened the car door for you to let you in and soon the drive had started.
You couldnât remember anything that happened on the trip, or even the ride to the Addams house itself. That alone was enough to get your heart racing once again, but you chalked it down to the stress and anxiety of the past few weeks. More than a few weeks. Fuck, how long had it been since the harvest festival? How many weeks had you missed out on?
Fuck.
You had barely gotten out of the car when you felt something crash into you, knocking you back. Your feet steadied the rest of you, but the ache in your body stretched down every nerve it could find. Small, slender arms were wrapped around your neck and, at the familiar scent of her perfume, your own arms wrapped around her waist as your eyes fell shut.
âNever again, cara mia,â Wednesday mumbled into the side of your neck. âPlease.â
Oh, how could you possibly say no to that? When you could hear the rare emotion in her voice and feel something wet drop onto your skin? When her nails were digging into your suit and holding you as if you would disappear in an instant? When you could feel her pulse under your fingertips and even just the feel of her body against yours made you feel home?
Sheâs going to become a distraction, the voice warned. But a distraction to what? And in the end, did you even truly care? Did you care when she felt like home and comfort and warmth all at once? No. No, you didnât care. You would let her be a distraction to the whole world if thatâs what it took to keep her in your arms.
You didnât bother with an answer, just held her tighter and inhaled deeply once again. The stress of everything started to melt away, even if only for a moment, and you just held Wednesday as if your life depended on it. Maybe it did. Maybe something inside you would break, leaving not even your sanity intact if you let go.
You wouldnât let her go again.
You would pile corpses in front of her door before the world took her from you again.
#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday x reader#wednesday imagine#wednesday addams imagine#everyone but her au
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Can you do a story were you date Sirius so he can actually Date Remus and reg don't know and likes you and gets jealous
If you can thx you <3
I didn't think I'd like writing this as much as I did lol.
Regulus Black x Fem!Reader
Some Warnings: Technically a modern AU, a bit of cursing, mentions of a bad home life, jealous Reg, sort of angsty???
A/n: I made this new Year's themed even though new years has passed đ€ Cause y'all can't stop me đ€Źđ€Źđ€Ź This is DEFINITELY my longest fic yet. PLEASE DON'T LET IT FLOP GUYS.... My requests are open btw
Ah, winter break. It was something everyone at Hogwarts looked forward to. Well, almost everyone. There were those who didn't get to go home to their families and some who wished they didn't have to go home to their families.
One of those people was a friend of yours, Sirius Black. He often avoided talking about his home life, but you knew it wasn't good. And you knew going home for the holidays could be hard for him. So, when it was the day before winter break and the two of you had a moment alone, you asked if there was anything you could do to make the break easier for him.
"I need you to be my girlfriend."
Seven words you'd never expected to hear from your best friend. Your best friend who was in a gay relationship, nonetheless.
"What?" You asked in bewilderment. "No!"
"Wait, wait, wait. It's not what you think." Sirius put his hands up as if to show his innocence. "I don't really want you to be my girlfriend. I just need you to pretend. Please."
"Why?!"
"Because," he explained. "My parents have started to get... Suspicious about my total lack of any girlfriend. And I may have told them that I was dating you.... Y'know, to throw them off my track..."
You stared at him. "You told your parents we were dating?!" You repeated, clearly upset at him.
"I know, I know. It was a shitty thing to do, and I'm sorry." He says. "But, if I didn't give them some sort of excuse, they might've found out about me and Remus!"
You were still upset, but you could understand why he did what he did. "So..." You crossed your arms. "You said I need to pretend to date you. What is it exactly that you need me to do?"
"Over the break, I need you to come over for a couple days. My parents will meet you, get to know you, blah, blah, blah. And then, you'll never have to speak with them again. If they ask about you after that, I'll say we broke up."
You really weren't a fan of having to fake date your best friend. You also weren't a fan of having to meet his parents who you'd only heard negative things about. But... You knew how happy he was with Remus and you would hate for his parents to find out about the two. You sighed. "You're lucky we're friends."
"Is that an agreement?" He asked, a grateful smile on his face.
"Yes. But, you'll be forever in debt to me."
"Fine by me."
The next day, while on the train to 9 3/4, you and Sirius mostly just planned for you having to meet his parents. You decided that you'd arrive the day after Christmas, stay for news years eve, and leave new Year's Day.
A lot of the train ride was spent establishing some basic facts about your "relationship". How you'd met, your first date, what your wedding would be like (which was strange, but Sirius assured you that his parents would ask about marriage), and some other details.
Soon enough, the train ride was over. Your winter break was fine. You enjoyed getting to see your family, but you were quite stressed about seeing Sirius' family. Part of you wanted to call the whole thing off, but you knew that was out of the question. You had to do this. For Sirius.
The morning of December 26th was a cold one. You wished you'd had more protection against the cold, but the formal attire you were wearing could only do so much. Sirius had told you to bring nice, formal clothing for the few days you'd be there. You were a bit worried you'd still be underdressed, though.
You took a deep breath and knocked on the door to the literal mansion that Sirius lived in.
After a few moments, the door opened. Regulus black stood on the other side.
Oh.
"Hi." You greeted, trying to politely smile at him. He didn't return the gesture. He did the opposite he gave you a look of... Annoyance?
"You're here for Sirius."
You couldn't tell if it was a question or a statement, so you just gave a nod.
He stepped aside to let you in, his eyes trailing over your attire, making you feel nervous. "He's in the living room with mother and father." Regulus said before walking off.
What a strange interaction. You and Regulus weren't close, by any means. But, you never thought he disliked you. You thought the opposite was true. Whenever the two of you did interact, he was always quite nice.
You tried to shrug off the interaction, but you just couldn't. Even when you were next to Sirius, meeting his parents for the first time, the way he'd acted toward you was on your mind.
The worst part of your day was dinner. You were worried about everything. How you were eating, how you were sitting, the way everyone was looking at you, the way Regulus was looking at you.
"Y/n," You were broken out of your thoughts by Walburga's authoritative voice. "I want to know how you and Sirius began seeing each other."
You nervously glanced over to Sirius who gave you a forced looking smile. You looked back to Walburga. Gods, she scared you. "Well, it wasn't too long ago." You said, trying your hardest not to break eye contact with her. "It was late September. He told me since we'd known each other for so long, he thought we'd be a good match."
Sirius nodded along. "We went on a couple dates, turns out we really like each other." He said.
You glanced over to Regulus. He was glaring at you. You didn't break eye contact and after a moment something else flashed through his eyes. Something softer. Sadness?
"So," Walburga broke your attention away from Regulus as you looked back to her. "Are you serious about your relationship with my son?"
"Very." You replied.
"Do the two of you plan on marrying?"
You swallowed. "As soon as possible."
You heard silverware clatter as Regulus abruptly stood up. "I need to be excused." He said lowly.
Walburga raised an eyebrow. "You've hardly eaten." She stated. There wasn't any concern in her voice like you'd expect. It was a blatant statement.
"I know." He says. "I'm done."
His mother gave him a disapproving look, but didn't object.
Regulus stormed out of the room. You couldn't help but frown as you watched him leave.
The next few days were a bit uneventful. Most of your time was either spent in the guest bedroom you were staying in, or talking with Sirius. You were still confused by Regulus' attitude toward you. You knew his and Sirius' relationship was a rocky one. But, you didn't think that affected what he thought of you. He'd known you and Sirius were friends, and he still treated you kindly. But, now that the two of you were pretending to date, he had a problem with it? It didn't make any sense!
It was December 31st now. You and Sirius were sitting in his room, eating lunch while sitting on the floor.
"I was thinking-"
"Oh, God."
"Shut up, let me finish." Sirius chuckled, playfully hitting your arm. "I was thinking about going to a party tonight."
You furrowed your brows. "Where?"
"James and his family have a new years party every year. I'm sure they wouldn't mind some extra company."
You thought about it. Honestly, you weren't really in the mood for a party. Plus, if his parents caught you sneaking out, your heart would probably stop. "I think I'll sit this one out." You said after a moment.
"You sure?"
You gave a nod. "Yeah, I'd rather stay in. I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun without me."
"Oh, I will."
You smacked his arm.
The clock read 11:39. You were alone in your guest room sitting in your bed. You had your laptop open in front of you as you watched a broadcasting of one of the many new Year's events that were going on tonight. You were absentmindedly looking at the crowded city streets displayed on your screen when-
"I wouldn't be using that while having the door open." Regulus said. He stood in the doorway, arms crossed, looking from you, to the laptop, and then back to you.
"Why not?" You asked.
"My mother doesn't approve of us using muggle technology." He said. "And I doubt she'd be okay with her son's girlfriend using it."
You sighed. "Right... Girlfriend."
Regulus raised a brow at how you'd said that. "What are you watching, anyway?" He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.
"A new Year's parade."
"... Could I join you?"
You were surprised at that. After how cold he'd been acting toward you over the past few days, you'd assumed the last thing he'd want to do tonight is spend time with you. But, you weren't against the idea of not being alone when the new Year started.
"Sure." You replied as you moved over on the bed to make room for him to sit.
The two of you watched the parade in silence for a few minutes until Regulus spoke. "How come I had no idea you and Sirius were dating?" He asked.
You glanced over at him. "What do you mean?"
"You said the two of you had been together since late September." He said. "How come nobody knew about it?"
You subconsciously began to fiddle with the fabric of your shirt. "I don't know." You shrugged. "Guess we weren't shouting about it from the rooftops."
Regulus didn't break his gaze away from you. After a pause, he spoke. "I never would've guessed you liked him in that way."
You didn't know how to reply to that, so you just shrugged again.
Regulus was still looking at you, even though your gaze was focused on the screen in front of you.
He paused. "What made you fall for him?" He asked.
You thought it was an odd question. When you turned to look at him, he looked sort of sad. "He..." You trailed off.
Regulus looked at you expectantly. You were trying to come up with something, but your mind was blank.
"You do like him don't you?"
You looked away nervously. You began to wonder whether or not he'd even care that your relationship with Sirius was fake. If he really was upset about you dating Sirius, then wouldn't he like to know that it was all just pretend?
"Y/n." He said your name and you were pulled away from your thoughts.
"He's not actually my boyfriend." You blurted out.
Regulus paused. "What?"
"He asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend. He didn't want Walburga finding out about his actual relationship, so-"
"It's all fake?" He asked.
"All of it."
"You don't like him?"
"Not like that."
You swore you saw a sliver of a smile creep on to his face. "That's... Good."
You tilted your head. "Is it?"
"I mean..." He shrugged. "I just... I guess thinking you'd gotten with my brother was making me upset." He said.
"Why?"
"Because..." He hesitated. "I like you, Y/n."
You felt your heart skip a beat. Fuck, that actually explained a lot. You couldn't believe you hadn't realized sooner. You felt your face heat up. "Seriously?"
"Yeah." He sighed. "I was jealous. That's why I was acting so... Weird. Sorry for being such an asshole to you."
"That's alright." You paused. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? About your feelings, I mean."
He shrugged. "I didn't think you'd feel the same."
Honestly, you'd always found Regulus quite attractive. But, you figured there was no way he'd ever like you back, so you let go of that silly crush a while ago. But, this? This was making all of those feelings wash over you again.
It was 11:59 now. You could hear the commentators of the parade excitedly get ready for the countdown.
"I feel the same." You said, watching as a blush creeped on to his cheeks.
"Really?"
"Really."
His eyes seemed to sparkle at your admission. "I..."
You heard the countdown to the new Year begin.
"Can I kiss you?" Regulus asked softly. You nodded.
"Five!"
He leaned closer.
"Four!"
Your tongue darted out to wet your lips.
"Three!"
His hands came up to cup your cheeks.
"Two!"
He closed his eyes. You closed yours.
"One!"
Your lips met in a soft, romantic kiss. He brushed some hair out of your face and Gods, his hands were soft. You couldn't believe you'd ever managed to stop liking him.
When you pulled away he sighed contently as if that kiss was all he'd been needing his entire life.
You whispered something to him before pulling him in for another kiss.
"Happy new year."
#x reader#fanfiction#regulus black x reader#regulus x reader#marauders x reader#marauders fanfiction#regulus black fanfiction
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HEY Y'ALL IT'S MIKAILER WITH AN "ER" WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO GRASP!?
---
Did I get your attention, Mikaila? I hope so, let's see.
Mikaila, I don't like you. You've done shit that's soured my opinion of you. I'm acknowledging that now to get that out of the way. I'm not here to be two-faced about this or blow smoke up your ass.
But as one idiot who stayed in a toxic relationship to another-- I'm not making fun of you because I think I'm better. I know. Being in a relationship like that brings out some ugly shit. You resent and fear people will never forgive you. You don't know if you will forgive yourself. I'm not making fun of you because I think I'm better than you.
And it feels kinda good, being treated badly? In a weird way? When you're used to it? When you feel you kind of deserve it? It did for me too. My abuser did some fucked up shit to me. I don't know how to describe to you the strange feelings I'm left with now. Sometimes I think I finally hate her, sometimes, as pathetic as it makes me feel, I still miss her. It's a rot in you that never really goes away, but you learn to live with it. I understand that agony. I understand that anger of how fucking unfair it is.
You know my opinion of Lily. You're not going to trust me that I'm not saying all this just to get you two to break up to hurt her. Fair. Very fair, not going to pretend like it's not. But if Lily loves you, nothing I'm about to say should be an issue. She should want what's best for you, right?
Here's the rub Mikaila, it's been a few years now. I know you want out of your situation at home, but it doesn't seem like Lily's going to be able to help you with that at this point. I'm sure Lily's given you plenty of reasons as to why, and it's time to listen to her.
If you're heart's set on coming to Canada, your best bet is getting a job here. Or even, going to school. Art degrees (Here in Canada) aren't as expensive, provided you go to the right school. Even taking out a student loan for just one year to figure your shit out. I know you're in quite a bit of debt right now and don't want to get into more, but. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Here's the college I went to. Yes, your work is sufficient to potentially get admitted. Believe it or not, art school's get that illustration is a learned skill. Artists start from all different levels:
Look through the admissions requirements to see if you have the academic records to be admitted. If not, you could also consider upgrading through online classes aswell.
Again though, your best bet is to try to find employment. The cost of living isn't great here right now, but it isn't great anywhere. I doubt you'll be able to find cheaper rent in America.
Once you're here or wherever you end up, away from the chaos of your home, you might find it a lot easier to get your head around, establishing some better independence and becoming a citizen by yourself. It's a shitty process, but not as bad as the one you guys have in the States. We stan an immigrant here.
You need to look out for you, Mikaila. It's not selfish. It's not a matter of whether you "really deserve it or not." Nobody's going to save you. You're emotionally spent because of your parents, You're emotionally spent because of Lily. And it feels kind of nice how much Lily needs you. But you can't help her until you help yourself - and again, if we're all wrong and Lily really loves you, she shouldn't have a problem with you finding your way.
My own mother once told me I was "born sad." I've never not hated myself. I ate up any little bit of love and validation no matter how many bitter, razor pills that came with it too. That's just how it is for some of us.
But you know what Mikaila? Fuck em. Fuck all of them. Fuck everything. Fuck me, Mikaila. You've got one life. One body. One you. Whatever you think of her, someone's gotta fight for that poor bitch. Why not you fight for you?
Everyone's a stinky meat bag stripped down, Mikaila. Everyone's made a fool in the wake of the shit people like you and I have been through. Not everyone's going to be able to forgive everything, but everyone's not wholly past forgiveness.
I'm no better than you Mikaila. Nobody is. Some of us just get to know the worst sides of ourselves better than others.
I don't like some of the things you've done, girl. But I see you. I get it. Tell us all to eat shit. Fix your life. Don't rely on Lily to make you feel whole or to save you. To make you feel worthy. No person can do that. She could be the reincarnation of Mary Mother of God herself, and you couldn't expect that from her. Be your own advocate. If your relationship isn't toxic, it can survive you becoming a more whole you.
This asshole is rooting for you. Give me an excuse to undoomer "Mikailer." My girl needs a win.
#lily orchard#lily orchard critical#anti lily orchard#lily peet#lily orchard stuff#lorch posting#youtube#liquid orcard#eldritch lily#mikaila orchard
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hi im 193 dollars in debt :(
basically my rent came in later than i thought, so when i was under the impression id paid it, i was actually spending money i didn't really have. i know that with everything happening in the world right now that a post like this might seem triteâ you are more than welcome to be particular as to where you choose to donate. i'm just scared because the longer i'm in debt, the more late fees i will be charged and i really can't afford that with my part time job.
p*ypal
v*nmo
please reblog if you can't donateâ i really appreciate y'all taking the time to read đ
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Howdy y'all. I wanted to apologize for the lack of keeping up here on Tumblr and any more private circles I know some of you in. I felt I owed an apology and an explanation for the long spaces of radio silence between my randomly timed actual posts.
Below the cut is a bunch of venting so if you choose to read it CW: financial, medical, political, and trauma mentions
I'm not really doing well at all. On top of financial, medical, political, and family stress, past traumas are resurfacing and kicking my ass. It's hard to get any sleep at night and to wake up feeling okay. I'm accustomed to PTSD and CPTSD nightmares, but they'd been dying down over time and I was actually starting to feel pretty alright? But now, with all the constant stress, they're coming back full force and it's just the cherry on top that really drains me of everything.
Classes in college will be starting up in less than a week. I barely have enough money to pay for the materials, let alone the courses themselves. I'm barely 20 and I'm so in debt from student loans and past and present medical bills it's not even funny. I genuinely don't know what to do. Everything piling onto itself is getting to be too much and I just want some rest. I don't want to get into bed at night just to relive the horrific shit I've gone through or on the off chance I don't have nightmares/don't wake up, it's 4 in the afternoon and that's an entire day wasted.
Anyway, this is all to essentially make excuses as to why I have been so not active here on Tumblr or with those of you I know more closely elsewhere. I know it's not fair to you and I sincerely hope I can get past this quickly not just because I feel some sort of obligation, but because I genuinely enjoy being on here and interacting with yall. I just felt I needed to say something, y'know? So to actually get to the point of this post: I'm sorry.
Thanks for listening if you for some ungodly reason read all the way down here lol and y'all stay safe ok? Safe as you can at least <3
Also if there are any typos, no there aren't I'm too tired to correct them lol
#moonvent#anyywaayyyy yeah this probably wont be a lasting post#im embarrassing myself even lookijg at it lmao
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