#i'll need to work out why she can't just
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sysig · 3 months ago
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Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Dexter Favin#Coraline#The Beldam#The other side of this coin <3 Call him out but this time make it unfriendly hehe#I talked last time about the daring rescue!! I do love the daring rescue in Coraline AUs ah same thing with the Camp Camp Coraline AU haha#Burst in through the door! Those poor hinges!#It is a bit funny imagining him crawling through the tunnel in a hurry and kicking the doors open all winded haha <3#It's all very serious of course Max needs help! Stuck behind the mirror from disobeying perhaps?#I was pretty hard on him last time that he'd just Immediately give up his soul for cheap tricks but like - would he?#Yes he's reckless and foolish but he's also stubborn and prideful and hates being told what to do so there's that lol#Which does he want more! The high or his freedom to refuse? I could see it going either way#And for Dex's sake I would hope he'd refuse! As if he hasn't suffered enough eye trauma (eventually)#Ough the thought of him starting to say yes and getting one button eye in and then rescinding his yes ouch#Doomed to have one eye no matter where he goes ah 💔#Anyway - Dex!!! Watch I'll make another one with the ideas mentioned here and then talk about more ideas in those tags pft#Since agreeing with him didn't work how about shaming? ''Go away you're no better''#She really is going hard on him like ''What's your angle? You get him back and then what? Will that actually fix anything?''#Very much pulling from Dexter's meetings with Max at the Institute there hhhhhh as if I needed more feelings about it#Eco_Mono did such a beautiful job playing Dex - so much to consider hehe - but there was one question that I can't stop thinking about#''Why would you want him back?'' and Dexter didn't really have much of an answer - he was barely more than a concept at the time!#Having had the opportunity to see his character grow into himself has given me Such brainworms about that question ♥♪♫#Very want to explore it <3#In the meanwhile it's fun to pit these two against each other haha what an odd matchup ♪#I've only barely drawn the Beldam before now that I think of it! And I think only in her final metal-spidery form never in her mid form here#She's fun :D And so tall! Dexter finally feeling small for a change haha#Her having to fight adult selfishness would be quite interesting I think - something tinged with but not quite the same as loyalty#She can relate to the possessiveness at least hehe I'm sure he'd appreciate the comparison
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ihamtmus · 5 months ago
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#there's a flood coming to my city 😬#the wave is supposed to hit tomorrow at night#i'm a bit worried?#they say it's gonna be similae to 1997#which is. not good.#everyone at work was panicking which did not help#they said the water is almost sold out in shops#and i couldn't go to the shop to buy it because i was. at work.#so i messaged my dad and he bought some for me and he'll drive over to bring it to me#his town doesn't have a big river so you can still buy water there lmao#i asked him to buy me some non perishable food like rice crackers while he was at it too#and now i'm scared that he and my mom will buy out the entire shop and i'll have to eat those things for months 😬#they can be like that sometimes haha#yeah they most definitely will bring over the whole car full of food what do i do 😭#anyway my main concern is the lack of electricity because the stupid stove in this flat doesn't use gas ;_;#gotta charge the powerbanks 💪#people are also worried that we'll go to work tomorrow and then it'll turn out the road is flooded and we'll have to stay at work overnight#lmaoooo why won't the company just give everyone the week off?? (because of capitalism)#my sister has a two months old baby and she is leaving the city tonight to stay with our grandma#they do need clean water for the baby and the government recommended the children and the elderly to evacuate#i'd evacuate myself if it wasn't for my work 😭 (capitalism)#aghhh i'm sure it's not gonna be that bad#it's just my first flood you see#well technically the second one because i was born in 1997 hahaha but yeah. yeah.#i do like my warm meals and hot tea and i do like to shower#i do hope it'll last 2 days max!! but a friend says it can last longer depending on the damage ;_;#i know i can't really complain because i at least live on the 5th floor#my sister lives on the first floor. right by the river. yeah...#not to mention the people in surrounding villages#someone at work said that the water reached the third floor in some places in 1997 wtf 😭
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halogalopaghost · 1 year ago
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#IM SO STRESSED IM SO STRESSED#I feel like I'm not handling ANYTHING well rn#so many people have symptoms that are WAAAAAAY fucking worse and they're like. working full time jobs and being a parent and shit and#I'm like waaah oh no I have body aches and chronic fatigue looks like I'll have to be unemployed and never do anything ever 💀#how am I gonna live?? like. my parents are taking care of me and I'm so fucking glad but#SOMEDAY THEY WONT BE AROUND and that stresses me out so bad#I'm 25 years old and I NEED my mom every day if not physically then emotionally because I'm a little bitch baby that can't do anything for#herself. im having a hard time feeding myself I'm having a hard time keeping my living space clean#I'm not taking care of anything except the dogs sometimes and my lizard and she's not getting as much attention as she used to#I need a job and I need to be able to suck it up and DO THINGS but I feel like I'm not the person u was anymore#I was strong and I could push thru things and make myself do things and now I can't???? I just lay on the fucking couch!! and feel bad abtit#is it the tism. is it the ADHD. what about the chronic depression. how bout the fibromyalgia?#and the thing is that ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MILD#I don't have severe pain (yet).#I just can't handle it I don't WANT to handle it#so. shoutout to my mom I guess because if it wasn't for her I simply wouldn't be alive#I feel like I've never been happy!! why can't I just be content and be happy!!!!#I have no fucking reason to be unhappy!!!!!!
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guinevereslancelot · 5 months ago
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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kickassfu · 11 months ago
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what if?
and i mean what if
i just got my ass out of the chair
got dressed
put the clothes out to dry outside
and did something?
what if?
huh?
what if
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skrunksthatwunk · 6 months ago
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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loumauve · 5 months ago
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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wolpatinga · 6 months ago
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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gu6chan · 7 months ago
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perhaps as a ploy to become the world's most dedicated drakengard 3 hater, perhaps to strengthen my spite-based narrative design, perhaps even out of sheer desperation for drakengard content..... ive finally decided to do the unthinkable and holy shit i didn't even know it was possible but how is this even worse than i thought
#gu6chan's musings#why is zero such a fucking obnoxious brat like shut UPPPP holy shit#why is the gameplay literally 'drakengard 2 but make it 110% more linear and slap in a stamina bar for good measure'#i dont wanna bitch about enemy variety YET since ive literally only started but why does this make legnas aerial sections feel like they#have more weight#are they made of paper?????? when the heavy knights in dod1 and 2 came at you you FELT it (especially 2 with the heavy footsteps.....)#why are the designs just so..... unimaginative and bland (this goes for the environment AND the characters like... like???)#y'all im giving this game all the grave of gpd by turning off it's soundtrack so i won't have to deal with that like i did in nier#but my GOD blocking fans of this game with the thought of 'we have our differences :)' isn't enough i think i need to shoot them with a gun#actually kinda lied at that last point ive used 'liking drakengard 3' as a subtle red flag for ppl generally just being immature or even#downright shitty/blindsidedly obnoxious people but was like 'thats so mean im sure theyre not all like that'#but ladies and gentlemen#its worked every time#i kid you not with like 4-5 people online i was like 'okay; that's just coincidence though bc while taste DOES reflect personality to an#extent it can't be a red flag' until i met my best friend's shitty fucking girlfriend he's on the cusp of breaking up with right now and she#said she was a HUGE fan of Drakengard 3 our first time meeting and i was like '😀 uh-huh; how neat' and she turned out to be fucking INSANE#anyways wish me luck on this maybe I'll survive..
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nexus-nebulae · 8 months ago
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god sometimes i wish the whole "you wouldn't say/do that to a physically disabled person" lie that certain mentally ill people say was true bc i fucking WISH i could use "I'm in a wheelchair" as a gotcha for people being ableist against me. unfortunately,
#so my psych that I'm dropping the SECOND i get a new (better) one#like that whole facility. they DO have telehealth/video appointments#but they fucking?????? make the PATIENT DRIVE TO THE BUILDING FOR THE APPOINTMENT#WHILE THE DOCTOR IS AT FUCKING HOME. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO GO INTO HER OFFICE WHEN SHE'S NOT EVEN THERE?????#like it's actually fucking ridiculous AND they NEVER get interpreters when requested AND they ONLY allow to schedule by PHONE#like- my Deaf mother literally physically cannot communicate with them because they refuse to speak to a video phone interpreter#or let her talk to them in person or via email. it actually pisses me off so fucking much#and like. most doctors offices. if you're late they give you 15 minutes before they declare you a no show and cancel#that place gives FIVE MINUTES. i walked in SIX MINUTES LATE one day and BEGGED them to just let me do the appointment#and they still refused#so i was out of meds for like. two weeks. anyway#the last straw was the last TWO times i went i was in my wheelchair#and the doors. open inwards to the rooms#so they closed me in the room for the appointment#and i PHYSICALLY COULDN'T GET OUT because i COULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR because there wasn't enough wheelchair space#and i had to frantically text my mom to let me out and SHE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR IT when i was SOBBING#bc i had tried genuinely screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to let me out of the room but nobody fucking heard me#and the second time i told the nurse 'HEY I CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE WITH MY CHAIR' and she was like 'don't worry I'll come get you'#she never did. i had to get my mom again#not fucking going back there ever again they've only ever pissed me off more with every single interaction#oh also they only let you schedule new appointments after they SEND YOU A LETTER SAYING YOU CAN CALL TO SCHEDULE NOW#if you call before then they DON'T LET YOU#and they give literally fucking 3-5 day later appointments when I've requested SEVERAL times I NEED A TWO WEEK NOTICE FOR WORK#also they don't give a shit about cutting you off your medicine cold turkey and not refilling it until several requests later#fuck that place. i hope every good doctor there finds a better job and the building gets abandoned and crumbles to the ground.
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sureuncertainty · 1 year ago
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hopefully it's just tonight but i haven't written at all in the last couple of days and i tried again tonight and it didn't work AGAIN i just can't get myself to write idk sometimes i really feel like the sequel to silence agenda is literally never ever going to actually get written and there's no point in even trying
#like i go thru phases where i'm all excited about it and they never last and i NEVER fucking finish anything with it#like literally ever#i have started to write this novel literally like 4 or 5 times now at this point?#and i can't get it done ever#since 2020 i've been working on it for almost three years#i've been making steady progress on tmtou i literally rewrite silence agenda like every fucking year#and yet i fucking can't get this story written#and idk how much of the problem is me how much of the problem is US and how much of the problem is my motivation levels and stuff#idk idk i think i'm just In It tonight and i'll probably feel differently later#it goes in these cycles#but idk man for awhile i was REALLY CONVINCED that this was gonna be the Time that i actually got this book written#i have the story! i have it! i just need to make it! and idk how!!!#i try and then a week later i can't#and my brain is hyperfixating on other things (idk why i decided to reread aftg) so i just Can't#and i do wanna get silence agenda published soon so i wanna focus on that#but i feel like i can't deliver on this sequel i feel like i can't even write it#idk i've never spent THIS LONG and gotten THIS MANY DRAFTS out of a book without being even like. close to the halfway point#i should finish it! i want to! i want to want to! but i fucking CAN'T#part of it is me part of it is the fact that it's hard to write when kat's not around and she hasn't been lately#idk i really thought i was gonna be able to do it this time. but apparently not#idk when i'll learn#that i can't write this fucking book#win rambles
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rainbow-sparks · 2 years ago
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I saw Jay's playthrough of Sally Face today and it made me remember how much I love this game, so I drew Sal :))!!
#seriously I just ahafgz I'm going to be so annoying about this game now I'm sorry (lying)#(everytime I say/read/etc the word seriously I read it in Ocean's voice when she's singing What The World Needs omfg)#his hair looks like that because........uhmm#cute :33 but also I just..can't draw straight hair ://#in pigtails specifically. idk why it just two ponytails so I don't know WHY I can't...#my dad is saying I HAVE to go to school or he won't pay the wifi bill uhmm apparently it 2 months behind?? uhh yeah...? oof guess I'll#fucking kms instead because if I have to be at that DAMN HIGHSCHOOL AGAIN#I am only a freshman and I already wanna bash my head into the desk#MY GYM TEACHER DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MY FUCKING NAME#AND I have to deal w/ shitty fucking allergies on top of that because my mom SUCKS and I didn't think to grad the medicine when I was#leaving yesterday morning mostly cause her BITCH ASS EX WAS THERE IN THE LIVING ROOM (that's connected to the kitchen; where the medicine#was) because she can't kick him out and she has work so she need him there anyway because free babysitting because she had this stupid#fucking kid with him 4 years ago ://#what am I talking about???#sorry for ranting babe hehe <3 back to being a silly little guy ^^!!#so my friend wants me to play D&D with her and her other friend (idk who they are?? she never told me their name)#so that's cool :)#anyway I listened to Sanity Falls again I fucking love those songs god Idk y I stopped listening to these what was wrong w/ me damn :DDD!!!#gonna queue a few post so they go up while I'm either asleep or at school#probably school cause my dad said if I'm asleep he'll beat me awake :/ so yeah...not new whatever :/#can't even complain; cause according to my parents it isn't abuse to hit you're CHILD and they had it worse so stfu and I hate you' like#WTF WAS THAT? BRO?? ughh like okay yeha I get it I've been out for a bit but like...really? has Hitting use worked EVER? no? THEN WHY ARE#THEY STILL DOING IT??........ugghhh fuck#night dude :p#omfg I ranted to much I forgot to tag#sally face#sal fisher#sally face sal
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kaijutegu · 1 year ago
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Today I was talking with my mom about why seeing an alligator is fundamental to my mental health. At first she laughed but I got her to listen and she gets it now. My psychiatrist and I call this the alligator litmus test, and it works really well for making decisions about my treatment. I bring this up because perhaps there is something in your life that you can use in a similar fashion.
I have severe major depressive disorder, and I treat this depression with medication. I've been on meds for about... seven years now, and sometimes we have to mess with them. But sometimes the emotional part of the depression is just super bad and there's something underneath that needs to be addressed. When we are figuring this out, my psychiatrist says to take one alligator and call her in the morning.
See, no matter how bad I'm feeling, seeing an alligator almost always cheers me up in the moment. (This works with other large crocodilians, too- they gotta be big, it doesn't work with caimans. I don't know why.) I can't look at their goofy toofers and beautiful eyes and bumpy hides and not be a little wowed by them. Millions of years of evolution have led to this amazing creature and they are completely unbothered by me. Almost all of the time, they make me feel happy. Or maybe I'll feel sad for some unspecified reason. Maybe I'll get worried about the ecosystem or something- but invariably, I will FEEL.
Unless, of course, it's my brain chemistry. If I can experience an alligator and not feel anything- not happy, not sad, just numb- there's something wrong and we should talk about adjusting my meds. Usually with a little tweaking I'm back to my very functional medicated baseline in quick order- instead of wasting time with coping skills and such alone when what I really need is brain chemicals, it's a much quicker way to communicate what's going on with me. At the same time, it also helps me know when the coping skills ARE likely to work without changing up my meds, or when there's something I need to work through with some help.
It's a pretty solid test. Might not work for anyone else on the planet, but it works great for me!
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fazcinatingblog · 10 months ago
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Who will get there first: Pendles reaching 10,000 disposals or Todd Michael Goldstein reaching 10,000 hitouts
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coldflasher · 1 year ago
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thinking about how im literally on like. the 8th draft of my novel, but i've still never actually come up with a full, beginning-to-end readable draft without bits missing or repeated scenes or entire chapters in the wrong order
lol
#why the fuck is this how my brain works#i fucking WISH i was one of those people who like. has all their writing beautifully organized in neat little folders#i mean like. in a way i do. i have most of my fics organized by fandom and ship and whether they're in-universe or AU#and then you open the doc and it's just a fucking horrorshow of scenes. most of them are half-finished. none of them are in order#when i need to find a specific scene i literally just think of a word or phrase i used in that scene and CTRL+F it#if nothing shows up after i've tried two or three combinations then i start searching through my notes app to see if i wrote it on my phone#then if i STILL can't find it i look in my emails in case i wrote it at work on the sly and saved it as an email draft#and then if i still can't find it after that i'll have to conclude that i must've written it in my head and forgotten to write it down#the masterdoc for dndb is a fucking MESS. it's even more confusing than the fic itself#cos im so paranoid about losing drafts that every time i rewrite a scene for the 3928283th time#i copy it into the doc AGAIN. so the current word count is 80k but half of it is just me neurotically redrafting the same 3 sentences#i let my friend start reading the garbage draft of my novel and she was like “im so sorry i can't read this it's fucking incomprehensible”#and then she gently pointed out that i'd used the same joke in 3 consecutive chapters and forgotten about it every time....#anyways i have a few chapters that are taking really nice shape but i just KNOW i'll get to a point where i turn the page and suddenly#there'll be another absolutely unhinged mess of tangled word-vomit for me to wrestle into something coherent...
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lxnarphase · 1 year ago
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━━ ❝ come and put your name on it ❞
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special treatment : lap edition
☾₊‧⁺...ft. : gojo satoru + geto suguru + nanami kento + fushiguro toji + hakari kinji
☾₊‧⁺...cw : cockwarming, somnophilia, dirty talk, grinding + dry humping, fingerfucking, overstimulation, praise kink, edging, oral fixation, satoru's silly pet names, suguru being smug, kento being a desperate man, toji being toji, kinji being a bully
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✧ g. satoru : sometimes gojo knows he fucks you too good to the point you can't think after, something he brags about to you all the time. but when you snuggle up to him, still stuffed with his cock and warm with his cum, he can't help but run his hands all over you. and when he realizes you fell asleep on his dick, his heart squeezes and his cock throbs hard.
"pretty angel, did you fall asleep? oh, that's just precious...you're making my heart squeeze, i wish i had my phone, you look so cute like this." "did you say my name? dreaming about me? god, you're so precious, i could just fuck you like this...shit, don't fuckin' squeeze on me like that, are you having a wet dream right now? god, i love you so fucking much." "aww, my little mochi is so cute! look at youuu, you're gushin' all over the place. messy fucking pussy too small to keep my cock and all my cum inside you." "mm, fuck, pretty thing. you wakin' up? hi pretty girl...oooh, fuck, d-did you just cum? holy fuck, c'mon, baby, on your back, lemme fuck you, princess, let 'toru make you cum again, yeah?”
✧ g. suguru : suguru's softly cooing at you when you sleepily walk into the living room, whining to him that you had a dream and you wanted him to 'fix the problem he caused.' all he can do is just chuckle at how childish and bratty you can be as his hands are moving up and down your sides while he grinds up into you.
"you're such a brat, you know that right? always blaming me for your dreams. it's not my fault you can't stop thinking about how good i fuck you." "hmm? ooh, i see...you keep having dreams of me cumming inside you, hm? are you trying to say something, princess? d'you want me to start breeding you?" "i didn't say stop moving, did i? or do you need me to do all the work? heh, so spoiled, i've spoiled you absolutely rotten." "i know, but just cum once like this, won't you? if you do, i promise i'll fill your cute pussy with my cum, okay? mhm, promise, princess, i'll give you what you need."
✧ n. kento : nanami loves having you close to him, especially when you sit in his lap. it lets him nuzzle his nose into your neck, pressing little kisses where he can while your legs are spread over his strong thighs, his thick fingers leisurely pumping in and out of your needy hole, chuckling against your skin whenever you jolt.
"honey, have i mentioned how gorgeous you are? you look so beautiful like this...spread open and wanting, just for me." "you're sucking my fingers in so well. look at that...do you think you can take a third?" "it's so messy. look at what you've done to my fingers, honey, they're soaked. clean them off for me, i want you to taste yourself before i put them back in. maybe tonight we can make you squirt, hm? do you wanna try, darling?" "you think you're going to cum again? poor thing, your little cunt is so greedy, she just wants to cum over and over again on my fingers...is my cock not good enough for you, mm? aww, don't pout, i'm just teasing you, darling." "i know, i know, it's too much, but you can take it. be my good girl, just take it and keep cumming until you can't anymore."
✧ f. toji : sitting on toji's lap is, in his mind, an invitation for him to run his hands all over you. his cock is already hard in his sweats, but he's subdued the second you get comfortable and slowly grind against him, groaning when you press sweet kisses into his neck.
"tch, are you gonna let me fuck your thighs t'night? pretty please? yeah, that's right, i'm askin' nicely. why? don't play stupid, doll, you know what they do to me." "shit...keep moving those hips, sweetheart, you feel so fuckin' good like this." "god, i can feel that pretty pussy leaking through my sweats. big bad toji make you that fuckin' wet, mama? y'like grinding that clit on my dick through my pants? dirty fucking girl." "mmh, you keep tugging my hair like that and I'm not even gonna take you to the bedroom, i will fuck you into this damn couch, woman.” "listen here, wifey, I'll wreck your cunt until you can't think about anything but me inside you. hell, I'll ruin this stupid couch in the process, i don't give a fuck about stainin' it."
✧ h. kinji : when you sit on kinji's lap, it's when he's watching a fight on tv. you can tell it's not going how he wants it to go, the toothpick between his teeth being gnawed on. when you make eye contact with him, he just raises an eyebrow, one of his hands squeezing your hip.
"cupcake, do me a favor and get on my dick before i get up and give us a reason to get a new tv." "hey, hey, don't move yet, let me see if he lands this punch...don't whine like that before i put my fingers in that pretty little mouth t' shut you up." "you always squeeze so tight when i press down on your tongue like this...pretty thing likes that shit, doesn't she? go on, fuck yourself on my dick while you drool all on my fingers like a slut." "mm, shit, baby, i can't focus on that bullshit fight, lemme help you. yeah, thaaaat's it, let your boy fuck you nice and deep, make ya cream, juuuust like this."
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