#and idk how much of the problem is me how much of the problem is US and how much of the problem is my motivation levels and stuff
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
pyreflydust · 2 days ago
Text
I'm sorry op, what do you mean how? I've needed glasses since birth. Didn't get them until 3 for Insurance Reasons (we got medicaid when we moved to Massachusetts, idk what we had in Florida.) But I've needed them since I was born and they definitely knew at some point when I was a baby.
Of course, every adult around me was like !!! because they didn't know glasses came that small. (And me, being a rebellious child, hid and broke them because I didn't want them.)
The thing is, I've never needed them to see. I can see okay without them. But I have a lazy eye, which I guess is probably a bit more visually noticeable than vision problems. I've gone periods of my life where I didn't really need them that much and periods where I probably needed them more than I was willing to admit. It's mostly that if I go too long without wearing them, I'm more prone to getting headaches and dizzy.
I didn't really know how to divide the categories but I tried my best.
Please recognize for larger sample size!!
4K notes · View notes
two-white-butterflies · 11 hours ago
Text
you'll live forever | part one
Description: Hwang In-ho joins the newest edition of Squid Games as Player 001. He sees the wife that he believes to be dead, and she cannot remember him.
Pairing: hwang in-ho/reader
A/N: I love Squid Games but let us not allow the capitalism-fication of this franchise to let us forget about the series' core message. capitalism sucks. Don't let violence desensitize us. Warning: idk if I used the word hyung correctly... multipart, comment to get tagged.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
There were times when he'd wake up too early in the morning when the sun would greet his sensitive eyes, and he'd take a longer time to adjust to the brightness. In those rare moments, he sees the faint silhouette of your body, in those rare times, he even smells your cherry blossom perfume.
A sigh escapes his mouth as he sinks further into the sheets.
No matter how far his hands reach out - you won't be there to hold it.
Tumblr media
"I have work tomorrow, I don't want to drink." A complaint escapes In-ho's mouth as his younger brother drags him to the nearest bar. In-ho has never been fond of spending time around other people, he'd much rather focus on work and getting that new promotion...
"Who said anything about drinking, hyung? You promised me that you'd make time to meet my girlfriend," the younger man rolls his eyes, dragging his brother to the center of the room where everyone was huddled near the television. Yep, soccer. "My schedule is cleared next Saturday," In-ho raises an eyebrow.
"Oppa!!" He hears someone scream at the top of their lungs, and his brother quickly makes her way towards the woman - greeting her with a hug. 'Young love,' In-ho thinks to himself, as he turns to look the other way - he suddenly catches a glimpse of someone.
You.
One.
His eyes trailed upwards, soaking in the sight of your face. He sees his future inside of your eyes, your perfect lips, the way you slowly begin to smile at him.
Two.
His gaze trails downwards as he sees the beautiful dress that you're wearing. He begins to praise the summer days, his eyes brushing against your creamy thighs, making his heart thump erratically.
Three.
"Hyung, this is my girlfriend Hee-jo and that's her friend. What was your name again?" His brother turns to look at you, and that smile deepens - your eyes meeting his. "My name's In-ho," he greets, and you mumble your name underneath your breath, shaking his hand.
"I'm sorry for tagging along Jun-ho. Hee-jo's dad made me come with," You blushed. In fear that you were intruding on the couple's personal moment. "Don't worry, you're like a sister to me." Jun-ho chuckles, sitting beside Hee-jo - leaving his brother with no choice but to sit beside you.
As Hee-jo raises her hand to drink a glass of beer, the entire bar erupts into a cacophony of cheers - South Korea has earned a point! Everyone stands up, but In-ho and you remain seated.
He smiles, watching you cheer for the motherland.
This particular memory has been burned into his mind. It only took him three seconds to see you and fall in love. "Yay," you giggled after the bartenders announced a round of drinks on the house. And after that encounter, fate seemed to smile on you both.
He remembers all the memories, the good and bad.
He also remembers your first date. It was the first winter of 2008. "You were born in 1976?" You raised an eyebrow, continuing to stuff your face with beef and lettuce. "Yes, is there something wrong with that?" He pretended to look offended.
'How old is she?' his eyebrows merged together.
He places a piece of kimchi inside his mouth. "How old are you?" He asks, cursing himself for forgetting to ask Jun-ho. "I was born in 1986. I honestly thought that you were much younger," you pouted.
'That would make her...' he calculates your age in the back of his mind. Ten years younger than him! He almost bites his tongue. "Is that going to be a problem?" He tilts his head. He definitely does not have a chance with someone like you, so beautiful and young.
"No, I like older men." You say bluntly. He almost spits out his drink, earning a giggle from you. "Ouch," he pretends to be hit. "So, what is it exactly that you do for work?" You ask with a smile, happily eating your meal. "I'm a police officer. I mostly do detective cases, what about you?" He inquires with interest.
"I just graduated. I work at the hospital." You informed.
"Are you a doctor?" He asks.
"No, I'm a nurse. It's always been a dream of mine," your eyes sparkle at the mention of making your dreams a reality. "Saving people," you quickly added. "- I guess you feel the same way too, since you're a police officer." You pointed out.
In-ho nods.
"I guess we are the same," he continues nodding. The entire date, the smile does not leave his lips...then,
One date, becomes two, becomes a thousand.
And finally, you are getting married to him.
"Hey, are you okay?" In-ho wraps his arms around you, preparing to meet your guests who are waiting in the reception. A deep sigh escapes your mouth. "I'm scared," you confessed. He wraps his arms around you, already aware of your fears.
"I mean everyone's going to be from your side of the family - and everyone's already talking about how I don't have parents." You chuckled nervously. All these ajummas won't stop talking about your personal life. In-ho has even contemplated not inviting them at all, but his father insisted. "Fuck them," he shakes his head, cupping your cheeks and pressing a tender kiss on your forehead.
"Let's enjoy our wedding," he smiles.
"I love you, In-ho." You repeated.
"I love you more," he responded.
He has always loved you more.
Tumblr media
The beautiful days of the roses were over, he was only left with the darkness of the night. "ESRD," the doctor opened his mouth to speak. "How dangerous is it?" In-ho fights against that heaving feeling in the back of his throat.
"ESRD, End Stage Renal Disease is where the kidney can no longer support the body's needs. Most typically, I would recommend dialysis in moderate cases, but for severe cases, I strongly advise a kidney transplant. Your wife has a very common blood type, it will be easy to get a match, but that's not the problem." The doctor hesitates, In-ho recognizes the man to be one of your closest friends.
He hands In-ho a stack of files.
"It's expensive to pay for kidney transplants in this country. There is a waiting list for donors, but it'll take decades - there are some who sell their kidneys but it costs almost a billion won, and then there's the medicine, the operation, and the hospital. It takes a lot of money and she's one of my closest friends so please feel free to reach out to me. I can give a bit of what I have." The doctor rambles.
Whatever it takes, even when the cost is too high.
₩649,344,412
In-ho stares at the cost of your transplant, and he knows that he doesn't have that money. "We'll be fine," he tells himself.
Tumblr media
"I need to borrow money," In-ho stares at the loanshark. The man looked like a typical gangster, with tattoos all over his forearm, and the smell of cigarettes looming over the air.
"The high and mighty detective borrowing money from someone like me?" The man teased. In-ho has been watching this man for the past two years, waiting for a mistake - the loanshark's #1 enemy, and now begging at his doorsteps for money. "10% interest rate, you pay every month." The loanshark emphasized.
His cronies laugh, and one of them continues to massage him.
"5% and you give me the cash today," In-ho demands, an air of authority radiating around him. "Borrow money from someone else," the man scoffs. "- I know about the money laundering." In-ho leans cooly on the chair, pretending to be confident about the situation.
"6%," the man clenches his jaw.
"You have yourself a deal," In-ho agrees.
After the secret meeting, the loanshark got arrested. In-ho was fired from his job - the superiors believed that he was bribed to hide the loanshark's secret. And then he got a call from a random number.
He played ddakji with a strangely well-dressed man in the middle of the subway station, and he joined the 28th Squid Games.
He won the 28th Squid Games.
Tumblr media
He exited the black van, his white shoes meeting the dirty ground. He stands to look at your home, everyone is staring at him. "What are you doing here!" Hee-jo screams at him. "She's dead, you didn't even visit her, she's dead!" Hee-jo yells.
In-ho stares in shock, looking around him, to see different types of flowers scattered all over the porch. 'I have the money,' he wanted to say as tears spilled out of his irises. "How dare you come here." Hee-jo continued crying as her grip on his forearm tightens, hurting him.
"In-ho," his younger brother looks shocked to see him.
"I'm sorry," In-ho mumbles.
I'm sorry.
Tumblr media
Comment to get tagged for PT. 2
359 notes · View notes
gor3-hound · 3 days ago
Text
KISS AND MAKE UP — NAOYA + TOJI
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
a/n: another commission for my faveeee @nexysworld. MWAH. just a heads up, naoya is referred to as reader n toji’s cousin just cause second cousin sounded weird in writing idk.
cw: 18+ content. daddy-daughter incest (toji), cousin incest (toji/naoya-ish. naoya/reader). threats + slapping (directed at naoya). misogyny. kinda maybe brief dub-con. p in v. oral (f + m receiving). fem!reader. slapping. hair pulling. creampie.
2.8k words
Tumblr media
Your dad has been gone for the better part of a week when he decides to wander into the house one morning — surprisingly early giving his typical track record of showing up well past midnight. You’re nursing a cup of coffee, nodding in greeting as his gaze lands on you.
“My cousin is coming over later.” Toji huffs as soon as he steps into the kitchen, lazily leaning against the doorway. Irritation is written all over his features. “Play nice, y'hear? I don't need gramps bitchin’ at me. Y'know what Naoya is like with his daddy.”
Naoya. The mention of his name alone is enough to have you scowling, your expression twisting in a similar manner to Toji’s. That only seems to annoy your father further, an exasperated sigh spilling past his lips. “N’ don’t give me that look, kid. Or him, for that matter. I ain’t dealin’ with another one of his rants about how I raised my daughter with a shitty attitude.”
“He thinks any woman who breathes too loud isn’t raised right.” You counter, huffing as you set your coffee down on your counter.
“Ain’t my problem,” your dad replies easily, shrugging his shoulders. “You only have to see him once or twice a year. Suck it up.”
“How long is he even staying?”
Toji is an asshole, but he isn’t evil. He feels a little bad, considering how much you and your cousin tend to butt heads. His lips thin at your question, pressing together as he walks over to ruffle your hair and pull you against his side. “Couple ‘a days. Sorry, kid.”
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Naoya’s gotten at least a hundred times worse since you last saw him. It’d been a year or so since you were forced to be in his presence for more than an hour at a time, and now that he’s hit his twenties and has been getting more duties in the clan, he seems to think he’s God’s greatest gift. He’s not even a full-year older than you, and yet he loves giving you the whole ‘respect your elders, girl’ spiel everytime you so much as frown in his presence.
He’s been here for a day, and you’re already counting down the minutes until he leaves. Your dad said an important job came up — an excuse to escape Naoya, you’re certain — so you don’t even have him to try and attempt to get Naoya to ease up.
You might genuinely go insane before your dad decides to show up again. If you hear him say that you ‘missed a spot’ while making you clean up his mess one more goddamn time, you’re going to end up in a cell.
“If I’m going to cook for you,” you say in a low tone, swallowing thickly to attempt not to snap. If only to save the lecture you’d inevitably get from Naoya, then your father, and then the head of the clan when Naoya eventually went whining to his dad. “You can at least take the plate to the kitchen after.” “And why should I?” He scoffs, that insufferable grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as he regards you with an icy stare. “You’re here. Isn’t this kind of thing the purpose of your… species?”
The muscle of your jaw ticks at his words. You can’t even muster up the strength to force a polite smile on your face, your hands clenching and unclenching at your sides. Better to act like a proper lady than retaliate and have him being even more insufferable than usual. Your silence almost seems to piss him off more — you’re starting to think he gets a rise out of seeing you act out.
“You know, the women of this family are disgraceful.” He continues. “Not one of you was raised with proper manners. My father is too soft on all of you. When I am head of this clan, I plan to—”
“Please. Your own dad thinks you’re an asshole. He’s just waiting for an excuse to pass it onto someone else. I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” You bite out, unable to hold your tongue any longer.
Silence fills the room for a few tense seconds. Naoya just… blinks at you, shock written over his features. Shock quickly turns to disbelief, as if the thought of you talking back to him was completely out of his realm of possibility. “Pathetic. You can’t even hear simple facts without growing emotional. The audacity you have to speak to me in such a way is…”
He trails off, lips curling into a sneer as he looks at you. “You should consider yourself lucky I even allow you to speak in my presence, you insolent little—”
“One more fuckin’ word.” The cold voice that cuts through Naoya’s words aren’t your own, but it is a voice you immediately recognise. Your head turns to face your father, the man standing in the doorway with a stony expression.
“I’ve done nothing wrong.” Naoya replies, though you don’t miss the slight waver in his voice.”I was simply correcting the behaviour you refuse to address. My father wouldn’t stand for this treatment of the heir of the—”
“Apologise to my fuckin’ daughter, or I’ll send you back to your daddy in a body bag, kid.” The words aren’t an empty threat — something you and Naoya seem to realise at the exact same time. You watch closely as your cousin swallows his pride, gaze falling to the floor.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, words barely audible. It’s a pathetic attempt, really. One your own father isn’t nearly satisfied with.
“Oh, now you wanna keep quiet, huh? Known you since you were a fuckin’ infant, and I’ve never known you to to know when to shut the fuck up. Say sorry properly.” Toji snaps. Naoya opens his mouth to give another half-hearted apology, but Toji is faster as he speaks up again. “Better be a good one.”
Your dad pauses briefly to think, then he’s stepping closer. “Y’know what? I think you should show you’re really sincere. Get on your knees, and say sorry to my kid.”
Naoya does an exceptionally good impression of a fish — mouth opening and closing multiple times as he stares blankly up at Toji. “You… You can’t be serious.”
“Don’t fuckin’ try me today. I’ve had shitty luck with the races, and I’d love to blow off some steam. I’m sick of you and that old man treatin’ us like shit.”
Naoya swallows hard, slowly rising from your battered sofa. He shifts slightly towards you, refusing to meet your gaze as he sinks down to his knees on the floor. “I apologise.”
“Better,” Toji hums, moving to stand behind you, guiding you to the spot Naoya was just sitting. He’s practically kneeling at your feet now, expression indecipherable. “Sit down, baby. Let’s get him to make it up to you, yeah?”
The tone of voice makes you shiver, eyes flicking up to your dad’s face. Between his soft coo and the way he’s looking at you, you feel your cheeks heat. It’s a familiar expression, but never one you’ve received when in the company of others. “Spread your legs for me, good girl.”
Naoya’s head snaps up then, eyes wide as he looks at Toji. You’re unable to school your own expression as you gaze down at Naoya, taking in the way he’s acting. You can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment, finally having him knocked down a few pegs. You swallow the lump forming in your throat, your heart fluttering nervously as you follow your dad’s command. 
“Show her how sorry you really are, hmm?” Toji purrs, all low as he takes a handful of Naoya’s dyed hair, forcing his face against your clothed cunt. He stiffens, but then he’s quickly melting against you, nuzzling closer to your heat. 
“Not so talkative now.” Toji scoffs, squatting down as he uses his grip as leverage to make Naoya rub against you more. The action draws a soft whine from the back of your throat, your head falling back against the sofa. “Got you actin’ like a well-trained dog, just from the scent of some pussy? You really have that much trouble gettin’ girls in bed, huh?”
Naoya bristles at his words, but he’s visibly more docile than usual as he allows Toji to guide him against you. You’re getting impatient yourself now, squirming against the cushions. 
“You want a taste, cousin?” And Naoya nods within seconds, eagerly opening his mouth and exhaling harshly. The hot air fans against the damp fabric of your panties in a way that instantly has heat shooting to your core. “Always bein’ a fuckin’ brat, think you even deserve it?”
Toji pulls Naoya back, and you find satisfaction in the pathetic little whine he lets out, even if you find yourself immediately missing his presence between your legs. 
“Daddy, please.” You breathe, voice a mix of needy and pleading. You instantly see the way he softens — something you only ever really get the luxury of seeing — before he lets go of Naoya’s hair. 
“Go on, then.” Toji murmurs, and Naoya doesn’t even blink before his fingers are desperately grasping at your skirt, bunching up the fabric at your waist and tugging your panties to the side before he dives in. 
A low, breathless ‘fuck’ spills past his lips as his tongue licks a long, wet stripe along your dripping cunt, collecting the wetness that had gathered there. He groans against you, nose nudging at your clit as he tongue-fucks you in earnest. His lashes flutter as he gazes up at you, the taste of you making him feel a little light-headed. 
You’ve never seen him so invested in anything. He has a lazy sort of arrogance that follows his every action, but he looks like nothing more than an over-excited puppy as he laps at you with an almost feverish intensity. His eyes are heavy lidded, fingers gripping onto your legs with a harshness that makes you think you’ll be left with bruises as a reminder of what happened. 
“Make her cum, and I might even let you have a treat,” Toji teases. Your peak is rapidly approaching by the time his voice takes your attention away from Naoya. You’d almost forgotten your dad was only feet away, watching the both of you closely. He’s clearly enjoying this — if the tent stretching his pants obscenely was anything to go by. 
Naoya is only spurred on by his words, dragging his mouth upwards until his lips suction around your clit. He sucks eagerly, tongue flicking against the swollen bud until you’re writhing and crying out beneath him. The way Toji sees it, the two of you have never gotten on so well. 
“Nao, please… need… just a little more.” You babble, hand reaching down to tug at his hair. He moans against you, tongue pressing flat against your clit. Your thighs clench around his head, body tensing as you gush all over his tongue. He keeps licking until he’s tugged away, hazy-eyed and hard as a rock. 
“My… treat?” Naoya mutters hoarsely. He’s never one to miss out on… anything that benefits him, really. He’s twitching in his trousers, leaking pre-cum steadily, and he’s just about ready to accept anything that’ll let him get off.
“Always an impatient brat.” Toji says under his breath, large hands coming down to position you on the sofa — hands and knees against the cushions — before stripping off his pants and boxers. “Think Naoya’s sorry, baby. Wanna return the favour while daddy has a turn on your pretty little pussy?”
You’re still panting from your previous orgasm, but the idea of being stuffed from both ends has your cunt pulsing. You flinch a little as your dad slides into you, whimpering softly as your walls flutter around him. You’re still sensitive, biting down on your lower lip to stifle your moans. 
“Aww, cute. Tryna be quiet, baby?” Toji coos, thrusting forward hard, just once, to make you squeal. “Naoya can help with that, yeah? Gonna let him fill that mouth?”
You nod, and Naoya considers that permission. You’ve never seen someone move so fast, his hands hastily pulling at his clothes. He slides onto the couch, kneeling in front of you. 
The only issue with his mouth no longer being preoccupied is he’s now capable of speaking again, and he makes that known to the entire room. He slowly slides his length past your lips, head titling back as the tight, wet heat of your mouth engulfs him. 
“Fuck, that’s good. I knew there had to be a reason my cousin kept you around, considering how useless you are at everything else.” As soon as the words leave his lips, the sharp, harsh sound of skin of skin fills the room. You don’t realise what happened at first, but Toji hips stutter at the exact moment Naoya lets out a sharp hiss of pain. 
Your dad hit him. Hard enough to have his cheek glowing red, his head cocked to the side from the force of the smack. You expect a tantrum, another speech. You get neither. 
His hips buck so violently his cock lodges itself deep in your throat, making you gag. Your eyes water at you look up at him, his pupils blown as a smug smile stretches across his face. 
“Weird little freak.” Your dad grunts, still fucking into you with further. His hands find your hips, pulling you back against his thrusts as you drool eagerly all over Naoya’s cock. 
“Guilty,” Naoya purrs in reply, words cocky and self-assured as he threads his hands in your hair to hold you steady, giving him the leverage he needs to fuck your face. 
“Watch your fuckin’ mouth when you’re talkin’ to my daughter, or I’ll make you sit in the corner and watch me play with her instead.” Toji growls. 
At least that seems to quieten him down, if only so he doesn’t have to give up the pleasure your mouth is bringing him. Naoya’s thighs begin to twitch at the same time his grip in your hair tightens. You work harder at licking along his length, sucking eagerly as he fucks your throat. 
“Come… coming, fuck.” Naoya hisses, forces the entirety of his length down your throat. You choke as his seed fills your throat, unable to do anything but swallow with your nose pressed firmly against his pelvis. You cough and splutter when he finally pulls out, a mix of cum and spit coating your lips and chin as he collapses in the corner of the couch. 
He watches lazily as your dad fucks you. Toji takes the opportunity to push your chest into the couch, nuzzling the nape of your neck to let you hear the quiet grunts he lets out against your skin as his chest presses against your back. His grip on your hips is tight, yanking you back to meet each of his thrusts. 
His cock hits that spongy spot inside of you that has you positively mewling with each jolt of his hips, his lips hot and hungry as he trails kisses along your skin. “Fuck, baby. So pretty. Such a good girl for me, so good… go on, cum for me, sweetheart. Show Naoya how good you are for daddy.”
His words are your undoing, a broken cry leaving you as you cream around his cock, slick coating his length and dripping down his balls. He thrusts lazily a few more times, biting down on your shoulder as he cums deep inside your trembling cunt. 
You flop down almost immediately, falling boneless against the couch. Your head falls against Naoya’s thigh, chest heaving with each panting breath you let out. 
“Might as well come up here,” Naoya hums with surprising softness, arm falling away from his side languidly. It’s about as open as an invitation to snuggle as you’re going to get. 
You shift up against his body, dropping down against his chest with a tired sigh. Toji just laughs, leaning back in his heels. “Christ. Never thought I’d see the day.”
Naoya glares at him, wrapping his arm around your waist. Your eyes are already shut, and Naoya’s close a moment later. Only moments later, you’re both passed out. 
“Brats.” Toji grumbles under his breath as he pulls a throw blanket around your sleeping forms, an unmistakable fondness to his tone. 
197 notes · View notes
soft-beams · 3 days ago
Note
is it just me or does odd! Vi just make you a little 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 like… I just get the vibe that she’s definitely weird and it’s so endearing but also just very odd. she totally has a genuine staring problem. and I feel like she’s actually quite shy. always giving you pretty leaves she found or weird little trinkets but she never tells you why😭 and when she sees them all displayed on like your bedside table the first time she hangs out w you she goes super quiet bc she can’t believe you care enough to keep it all. idk i just love her
YES
I LOVE ODD!VI SO MUCH
LISTEN her being tough is the exterior to her personality. and to those who don't know her, she can appear very intimidating. like she doesn't want to be approached, and that's true, like 95% of the time.
but with you? she's so open and so genuinely herself. she's such a little oddball who says the most random things at the weirdest times. if she sees something cool, she'll immediately grab your attention because "hey doesn't that cloud look a little bit like vander?" and it doesn't but you indulge her anyway.
and her bringing you pretty leaves and trinkets is so cute, i'm gonna cry. she'll see them on the ground and keep them carefully in her pocket to show you later if you're not there. whenever she goes on raids, she'll specifically look for things that remind her of you. like an interestingly shaped screw or a pretty cog or a piece of glass that reflects blue in the sun.
and it may all seem useless and there's a time where vi worries if it's all too much and weird for you. but then she sees how you display all her gifts in your room, how you keep the leaves and flowers lovingly presses in a book. how your collection of trinkets live in a jewelry box all neatly organised and ig she falls in love with you that little bit more.
160 notes · View notes
t-a-a-1 · 2 days ago
Text
More Than Meets The Eye
TFA Optimus! X F!Reader
6k
Summary: Being a rising journalist is difficult. Especially when you have to live a secret criminal life. Things get worst when you start to fall in love with your enemy, Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and hero of Detroit City.
You believe the feelings can't be mutual. Yet, he slowly starts to notice that you are more than meets the eye.
A/N: Lots of yearning. Jealously. Enemies to lovers?? You are a journalist who is also a criminal. Idk. Takes place between Season 1 and 2 of TFA.
Tumblr media
Chapter 1: Ride or Die
....
Detroit City could be ugly, nasty, unhygienic, gentrified and many other things.
But never boring.
Especially with robotic aliens patrolling the streets.
    Bots that you didn't trust fully nor liked very much.
Even more, that Optimus Prime that everyone seemed to like so much.
With his red and blue colors, his helm that looks like he is always wearing a cap and straight posture that was too authoritative for your liking.
    While everyone was excited, taking pictures of the Autobots, you were there to ask the real questions. Your job as a reporter was to tell the truth and that's what you plan to do by exposing the leader of the Autobots.
"Mr. Prime, I have a question for you."
    You raised your hand, not really sure if that matters but you wanted to keep being respectful.
"Oh, yes, how can I help you, ma'am?"
    Optimus sees you walk through the crowd of people and paparazzi. Press conferences weren't unknown to him. The citizens, the reporters, the speechless mayor and his assistant that probably did everything for him.
"I've done some research and Detroit's oil supply has plummeted since your arrival to Earth. This has created a tax increase for all of Detroit's citizens. How do you respond to this?"
"Well, we do need to eat to keep helping the city," Optimus bends down to be able to speak on the mic. "But we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused."
"If you were sorry you and your team would have already found all  the fragments of the AllSpark and departed Earth."
"How do you know about–?"
    You didn't let him finish his question as you striked with another statement.
"But no, you and the Autobots are too focused on wasting Earth's resources and playing heroes to even think of recovering your world's most powerful energy source."
"What? No, we–"
    He keeps getting interrupted by you. Although he tries to keep his cool, he wasn't in the best of moods either. Each statement you were making was ticking off his clock.
"Without mentioning that you have been spotted entering nearby natural reservation islands without the proper permissions or documentation."
"Well, yes but I thought it was fine–"
"Why would it be fine?" You look up at him. Even when you weren't very fond of the alien robots, you had to admit that they were a spectacle to look at. But you quickly shook the thought away.  "Just because you are big and dangerous you think you are entitled to cross human law?"
"Look missy, I don't know what's your problem but–"
"My problem is that you are not answering my questions."
    There's a bit of laughter coming from behind Optimus. If he had been smart enough, he could've said something along the lines of 'you aren't asking any questions, you are just saying statements.' Instead, he lashes out on you, giving you the exact reaction you wanted.
"If only you gave me time, I would respond to them!" Seeing his mistake, Optimus stands away from the pod, clearly frustrated at the situation.  "You know what, we don't have the time for this."
    Smiling Autobots was the first thing he saw as soon as he turned to look at them. He ex-vents, not wanting to deal with it.
"Autobots, transform and roll out."
.
.
.
    The abandoned building had become their home. It was big enough to have rooms for everyone. Each catering for every bot's needs. But not even the vastness of the building could sparse the leader's rising annoyance. Walking from side to side of the hangar, looking down and with a servo on his chin, he questioned the previous interaction.
    He doesn't remember seeing you before. Either that or your existence wasn't important enough for his processor to remember.
"How did that lady know about the AllSpark?" Optimus keeps walking as Bumblebee and Sari play video games on the sofa. "We haven't told anyone about the fragments."
    Hearing something being dropped, Optimus quickly turns to look at the little girl who has taken long-term residence at their base.
"Sari?" Optimus questions, getting closer to her. "Is there anything you want to say?"
"Sorry, I thought yall were going to release that information to the public soon," she plays with her thumbs, moving them in a circle in between her hands. "So, I thought, why not sell the information to a reporter? Save you guys the time!"
"Why would you do that?"
    Bumblebee questions her, he didn't know about her actions either.
"Because I need the money! If I don't have money, I can't afford food. If I don't eat, I'll die!" Sari feels threatened, especially when she sees the rest of the bots gathering around her. "And all my credit cards have been frozen ever since my dad disappeared."
    It was as if everyone had a spoken agreement. Her explanation was a very good one. Feeling shy and maybe like a burden to them, she did what any little girl would. As best as she could with the current circumstances. No one was angry at her, just worried for what this could bring to the team.
"What else have you told her?"
    Prowl asks this time, sounding as calm as ever.
"Nothing, I promise!" Sari exclaimed. "Actually, ever since I told her about my situation, she never fails to send me some money in the mail."
"Probably to gain your trust so you could later tell her more information about us," Ratchet always assumed the worst of people. A trait that no one could blame. Being a war-veteran, distrusting others was the best for survival.
"I don't think so, she just sends money. No notes, no letters, nothing."
"Whatever the situation is, we can't have her spreading misinformation about us," Bulkhead is the last to speak his mind.
"She wasn't lying, bulkhead," Optimus remembers your statements. Each of them had truth in them. "She was right. We did everything she said we did."
    As much as he wanted to reprimand the little girl, he couldn't do it. Instead he takes a few seconds to think.
"But we can't have her writing negative articles about us," he says as he takes a moment to look at his very little friend. "Especially if we plan to ask for some monetary compensation for Sari."
    He really didn't want to ask for any kind of payment from the humans. Everything he did, he did in the name of goodness and to further improve Cybertronian-Human diplomatic relationships. But Sari was part of the team and his duty as leader was to take care of everyone. And she was a helpless little girl. He needs to take care of her properly and for that he needs human currency. Not much, just whatever is needed for a human to survive. Food, maybe clothes? Water. Oxygen? Medication ... Education? Did she need that? He is not sure but maybe Sari could make him a list later.
For now, there is a reporter he needs to find.
.
.
.
    You weren't new to doing undercover work. You enjoyed it, pretending to be someone else, getting the information you needed, then going home as if you had lived another life.
    Tonight, it was one of those nights. Where you wore heels, a skirt and a revealing top. Loose hair and lip gloss and a wing to cover your real hair color.
    During the day you were a reporter. Tonight you were a car enthusiast.
"So, would you take me?"
"A beautiful car needs a beautiful woman,"
    You had been talking with a man for fifteen minutes. It's stupid how easy it was to get a man. Just listening to them talk for ten minutes straight without talking usually does the trick.
"And you know, racing is not the only thing I am good at."
    Smiling, not because of his suggestive comment but because you were about to get what you wanted, you were about to make your way inside the car.
    Until bright lights pointing at you ruined the moment.
"What does that freak want?"
    There is a loud sound of engine coming from the large truck. Although the light was bright, you could see a few shades of blue and red.
"This is the police, stand down."
"Shit."
    The man who you were talking to didn't hesitate to turn on his car and speed up. Letting off a train of fumes and leaving you behind.
    Great, now you had to explain that you weren't a hooker but an undercover reporter to the officer.
    Except that this wasn't a cop. It wasn't even a person. But a driverless car. A bot you tragically knew too well.
"So you have come for your revenge after today's press conference?" you ask sarcastically as you begin to walk away. You raised your hand and waved from side to side."Well, you got it. Now leave me alone."
    You can hear the little 'click and clack' of your heels as they impact against the concrete ground. But close by you can still hear the roaring engines. Headlights were still pretty bright and you wondered if he understood human cues. Because this just looks like some guy harassing a woman.
"Not even a 'thank you' for saving you from that guy?" Optimus follows as he drives next to you. "I thought you would be more educated."
"Well, I didn't ask you to save me," you wanted to take bigger steps but you've been walking for so long with your heels that you can't do it anymore. "Is butting into other people's business an Autobot costume?"
"Look I am not going to fall into your tactics," he says. "I just came to say that I think we started off with the wrong pede."
"Oh? Really? Why do you think that?"
"Well, for starters, I think you have the wrong ideas about us," Optimus takes a closer look at you. Wearing a different style than what you wore this morning. "Yes you are right, sometimes we don't do the right thing. But we are new here and we don't know any better."
"So you should be excused for all actions just because of your ignorance?" you feel like you are being observed. Not in a desirable manner but rather a curious one. Optimus didn't have 'eyes' but optics. His vision is probably more enhanced, being a bot and all.  "Is that what you are saying?"
"No, I am saying that maybe you could try and understand us and be more ... lenient whenever you write about us."
"And why would I do that?" you began to feel self conscious. Miniskirts weren't your thing, you liked them but Optimus heavy optics on you wasn't the most comfortable. Maybe it was all your imagination. Besides, you doubted that Optimus could feel attraction towards a human. "Are you going to hurt me if I don't?"
"What? No!"
    You stop walking and suddenly turn to look at him.
"Then I won't change anything."
    He doesn't want to think about it too much but he feels his something inside him short-circuit. Now, he realized he had been staring at you for too long. Particularly interested in your skin. As far as he knows metal and skin don't react the same way to cold. Your material being more sensitive to climate change. He was studying you and all he concluded is that you were cold.
"Why do you care so much about what we do and don't? How does it even affect you?" his engines roar louder.  "We help the humans with crime, cleaning the streets, repairing buildings and other humiliating things without any type of compensation but I don't see you writing about that stuff!"
"Do you know what happens when you and your crew destroy a building?"
"The city repairs it."
"Yes, they do," you walk towards him, aggressively placing your hands on his door. His truck form was too large for you to reach his window. It's not like you were planning to punch him but rather make your point. "But who's money do they use to repair those damages?"
    He stays quiet and you proceed.
"The people's money," using your index finger, you keep poking at him each time you make a statement. "Ever since you and your Autobots got here, things have become way more expensive. Food, gas, bills. There are families who will be homeless because they can't afford to pay rent. All because the city is raising taxes to pay for all the damages you cause."
    His headlights blink every time you keep touching him, with every word that escapes your lips.
"It's already hard enough being a journalist in Detroit and now I have to focus on surviving too. I need to contribute good stories to the newsroom or I won't even have money to buy cigarettes."
    Then, you point off into the distance, the road is clear but dark. Only the city lights illuminated the path but everything had an eerie feel to it .
"And that guy you just scared off? He was my ticket to have a warm meal tonight and you ruined it for me."
    You take your hands off him. His headlights stop blinking.
"So, I am sorry. I am sorry I won't write about how the Autobots are Detroit's heroes and how good they are because they pick up some cans."
    You walk away. Now thinking of whether to spend your last $20 bucks on food or a taxi to take you home.
    At least you can't hear the roaring engine anymore.
As he sees you struggle to keep walking, Optimus notices your shivering. How you tried to cover your backside with your bag and how ever so often your stomach would quietly growl. Although he wasn't an expert on human biology, he knew that meant you were hungry.
    He remembers your words and then Sari's. Although you were struggling to survive, you still somehow managed to help out Sari. A job he is supposed to be doing but failing miserably.
"I– " he drives up to you again. For a second, he doesn't have anything to say. Apologizing won't help you in any way. "Is there any way I can help?"
"Well, unless you can transform into a racing car and take me to do some illegal car racing, I don't think so."
    Behind you, you hear metal shifting. Driving next to you is blue and red ... Corvette? Camaro? Ferrari? You didn't know a single thing about cars but the only thing you knew is that it was a nice looking car. Dynamic, elegant and shiny. Hot and sexy. And a beautiful car needs a beautiful girl.
"Anything else?"
.
.
.
    It was 3 a.m.
A dark and isolated road on the outskirts of Detroit will be witness to your first car racing. You didn't know a single thing about cars and much less racing. But thankfully for you, your racer is a car. He should know better ... right?
    As a reporter you are supposed to blend in with the crow but with Optimus, you knew that was impossible. All eyes were on you as soon as you drove by the starting line. Wondering who had just joined the car racing scene.
"Everyone is here ... Can't we just arrest them?"
"No, I am not the police.  I am just here to report on things. To inform people this is happening."
You look around the vehicle, there was technology that Earth didn't have. There wasn't a single thing you could understand. Getting nervous, you tried to get some fresh air. Clicking a few random buttons, you hear Optimus make a few displeased growls.
"Would you stop that? You know you are touching my body, right?"
    You quickly stop, not knowing how to feel about being inside a mechanic alien.
"Can you lower the windows then? I am starting to feel a little claustrophobic."
    Optimus does as you told him and now you get a clearer view of your sides. To your right there is a white Camaro with black racing stripes. To your left, a red and white car. The fancy type which brand you didn't know nor care.
"Hey beautiful, when I win let's make out in the back of my car!"
    Hearing that comment, you tell Optimus to roll up the windows again. He quickly didn't hesitate to ask questions.
"What is make out?"
    You see another woman stand in front of the car. Holding a red handkerchief. Extremely beautiful and thin, she made walking in heels look easy. The cars start their engines and you start regretting this.
"If we win this, I'll show you."
"What do we get if we win anyway?"
    Looking at the steering wheel, you think about holding it but then again Optimus seems very decided for you not to touch him. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, you shake the thought off your head.
"I get a good story and three thousand dollars."
"Can I have some of that money? For Sari, of course."
"Absolutely but," you look around the car, trying to look for the seatbelt. The race was about to start and you couldn't find it. "Where is the seat-"
    But the race had started, Optimus didn't listen as he sped though the road. You abruptly lay back on the seat. Making mental notes about the situation. The racers, the rules, the cars, the place.
You wished you could enjoy the excitement of the race ... if it only wasn't that your life was held by a threat.
As Optimus makes an abrupt turn, you move from one seat to the other. Almost doing a complete 360.    
"Would you care to drive more carefully?!"
    You rub your head. Feeling like a small bump on the back, you are thankful the windows are tinted dark. No one can see your humiliating falling and bumping into Optimus windows and door.
"Don't you want to win, missy?"
"I can only win if I get to the finishing line ALIVE!"
    As if he wasn't hearing you, he makes another aggressive movement. This time you end up side down, with your head on the feet rest and your legs on the passenger seat.
"THAT'S IT! I AM DRIVING!"
    You straighten up and quickly put your hands on the steering wheel, taking control of the alien mech.
"Hey, missy! Hands off the steering wheel!!"
"I'll do that when you learn how to drive!"
    You fought against his strength, as he moved himself to the opposite side. It wasn't often that you fought against an alien but if your life wasn't in danger you wouldn't do so. Watching all the cars passing by was also alarming, you weren't only going to die but also lose.
"I'll have you know my driving skills have been renowned by the Elite Guard!"
"I don't give a f–"
    He lost control, as you did. The screeching tires against the pavement could be heard as the rubber of them burned. You couldn't react as Optimus crashes against a pine tree. Hitting your head against the steering wheel, you thought you might get a concussion. However, you get enough strength to get out of the car and walk a few meters away from him. It wasn't until all the racing cars had passed you that Optimus transformed back to his robot form.
"I just got a new paint job and a polish!"
    He says as he sees some scratches on his body.
"And you almost killed me!" you put a hand on your head, it hurts as if your whole brain was pulsating. Your sight is dizzy and your body is weak. "I knew it, I knew this wouldn't work out and I still trusted you."
"We wouldn't be here if you had only kept your hands to yourself."
"No, we wouldn't be here if only you had a goddamn seatbelt?!"
    Optimus was also frustrated with the situation. Now he is too far behind to win the race and he needed the money to buy food for Sari. Not only that but after tonight he is going to have to give explanations to the rest of his team. He is probably gonna be made fun of for not having a 'leader-behavior' and they were right. Because why was he here? At first, he just wanted to help you. But it seems you don't want to nor appreciate his effort.
"And why would I? I don't let humans inside me," he points at you, unaware of your delicate state.  "Besides it's not my fault your body is so weak."
"Well, for someone who is supposed to protect life, you certainly do a great," there is clear sarcasm in your voice. You probably shouldn't be fighting against a giant robot but if he were to squish you right now, he would be doing you a favor.
"I don't even know why you are on Earth if you don't even like humans."
"Oh, I like humans, I just don't like you."
"Well, the feeling is mutual."
    You take off your heels and start walking back on the cold pavement. Feeling cold everywhere, you wonder what is going to kill you first. Hypothermia or brain damage.
"Where are you going?"
"Home."
"We are on the outskirts of the city, you'll get home by the next solar cycle if you walk."
    As much as Optimus dislikes you, he wouldn't let a lady walk alone at night.
"Let me take you home."
"No," now it hurts to breathe. You probably got a few injuries but you tried to hide the pain. The last thing you wanted was to confirm Prime's idea that you were weak. You were, but he didn't have to know. "Just leave me alone."
"Does your pride have no end?" Optimus' words weren't helping either. "Just come inside–"
    He was going to keep talking until he noticed that you had stopped walking. He sees you put a hand on your head and the other on your stomach.
    Suddenly, you lose balance and he quickly reaches a servo out to catch you. He had assumed that most humans should be warm. The coldness of your body was not common. Analyzing you, he sees that you are still breathing but unconscious. You are small on his servo and he feels as though he needs to cover you.
Maybe, you were right ... he should have let you drive.
.
.
.
    There were many questions in Ratchet's processor. But seeing Optimus' worried face restrained his voice box from instigating the Prime.
"I am not an expert in human biology but my analysis says that she is dehydrated and malnourished. She probably hasn't eaten in days."
    Ratchet sees you in the medical berth. In a deep sleep and weakend, he doesn't know when you will wake up.
"Don't you think it would have been better to take her to a human medical center?"
"I thought about it but while I was driving, she woke up momentarily and asked me not to take her there."
    Optimus had assumed that the reason you didn't want to go to a 'hospital' was due that maybe you didn't have a means to pay for it. The thought alone made him spark ache, he didn't understand why humans would charge for a basic right.
"Well then, make yourself useful and bring her some warm human fuel," Ratchet says. "And maybe some human clothes with more fabric or a blanket."
    Optimus nods, but there is hesitancy. He doesn't move and Ratchet catches on this. His optics are on you as if studying you. Most obvious, there is guilt and worry. He takes a closer look at him. Some part of his paint was ripped off and his metal was scratched.
"Did anything of importance happen?"
"I tried to help her with something but things didn't occur as I planned them."
    There was something he was keeping to himself.
"Did anything else happen?"
"It's just ...," he pauses and the longer he looks at you, the more Ratchet wonders. He has known the boy for some time now. He has seen him at his best and at his worst but this is different. It's like he wants to say or do  something but he can't. Either because he is too timid or because he can't find the right words. But Optimus' eloquence was known through all of Cybertron.
"It's nothing."
.
.
.
    The smell of chicken noodle soup wakes up. It is an unknown place but you feel warm. Much more than your cold, small apartment. It was a bright room, and underneath was a red, giant medical bed. A white blanket covers your body and the face of a little girl stares right at you.
"Hi!"
    You slowly stand up, your head still hurting but at least you were alive.
"Hey, kid."
    You take a better look at the place around you. At least it wasn't a hospital and for that you were thankful.
"I am Sari! And you must be (Y/N)? We exchanged Autobot information before?"
    The girl was smiling, excited to see you. By hearing her name, you immediately knew what she was referring to. A few weeks ago, you had received a letter from someone, you assumed that it was a kid due to the wacky handwriting and simple vocabulary. Nonetheless, this kid was selling Autobot information to you, some things valuable, others not so much. After learning the truth behind the kid, you decided to help her as much as you could.
"I am guessing this is the secret base of the Autobots?"
    You ask the obvious. You didn't find any other logical explanation as to why there would be such big beds and medical equipment.
"Yeah ... Please, don't tell anyone," Sari says. "Or Optimus is gonna have to threaten you."
"Well, I would like to see him try," you give the little girl a head pat. "But I promise I won't say a word, just because you ask me to."
    This would have been valuable information if it wasn't due that it didn't matter anymore. You were supposed to have a story by today and the only thing you have is a headache. Another day, another non-existent payment. You are gonna have to get used to eating air at this point.
"You should eat," Sari puts the bowl of soup closer to you. "Optimus made it for you and I helped, of course."
    After hearing his name, you quickly turn to look at the little girl. You could tell she was telling the truth but she also had a mischievous smile.
"Is there something you want to ask me?"   
    You weren't about to make a meal go to waste. Picking up the spoon, you start to dig in. It wasn't bad and you wonder if Optimus actually helped at all because you can't imagine someone who is unable to taste human food, being able to make something this good.
"Well, I was wondering ... Will you be staying with us from now on?"
"No," you simply say, too concentrated in eating to think properly. "Why are you asking that?"
"Well, do you want to?"
"Thanks for the offer but I don't think the Autobots would like me here."
"But I can get so lonely sometimes!" Sari puts puppy eyes on her face and you have to admit that it was slowly working. "I need a friend."
"You can still write to me if you would like."
"That's not enough ..."
    Suddenly, you heard loud and big steps approaching from behind you. You didn't want to think about it. If you don't see it, it's not real. But then you hear mechanics moving and you are sure that if you were to turn around, you'll find a very unpleasant faceplate.
"Sari, do not overwhelm our guests," Optimus says. "She's still recovering."
"Don't mind me, I was just leaving."
    Like an animal, you drink the last of your soup and put it next to you.
"Hey um ... About last night, I ..." He pauses and struggles with his words. "I wanted to apologize–"
"No need."
    You stand up and let the white blanket covering you slip off your body. It gets cold immediately and you are tempted to ask if you can stay with the blanket.
"Wait! If you really need to, you can stay here,"
"And become your charity project? No, thank you."
    His faceplate was still very close to yours. Now you can take a closer look at his optics.  You didn't want to admit it but they were quite beautiful. A type of blue not found on Earth. Maybe not even in the entire universe. It was unique to him and you were a bit jealous of his own individuality.
"I am just trying to help."
"I think you have helped enough," you weren't about to fall for his kindness. It was his own stubbornness that put you in this situation. That and that you haven't taken care of yourself properly but he doesn't have to know that. "If I let you help me again, then I'll for sure die."
"If only you would put your pride away, we could help each other–"
"You want to help me? Why? Because you like me? Or to subside your guilt?"
"Because it's the right thing to do."
"The right thing to do?"  You can't stand his righteousness. Pretending to be this all-good creature when you know that can't be. How good can he be when he is the cause of your misfortunes? Not only yours but to a lot of more people. The worst part of it all is that he doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. "Why don't you start by leaving my planet first then?"
    Optimus stares at you and you look back at him. It was a few seconds but to you it lasted minutes.
    He doesn't say anything but slowly moves apart from you and walks away.
You turn to look at Sari who was still sitting close by.
"Sorry you had to see that kid."
"It's alright, but can I tell you something?"
    You didn't want to be here. The sun was probably about to rise and you just wanted to go home. But you couldn't say no to the girl, she seemed too sweet and her situation was still lamentable. You nod, confirming for Sari to continue.
"I've known Optimus for a time now and I can tell you that he is not very well-versed with the ladies," she says.  "He rescued a woman once and she asked for his phone number."
    Tilting you heard, a lot of things crossed your mind. You have so many questions, especially about the kind of woman who would want a machine as something more than a friend.
"And what happened?"
"He gave it to her and she texted him," she raised a small hand, pointing up. "The text said 'Do you think I am pretty?"
"And Optimus texted back saying 'I think you look soft and squeezable. And she never texted back."
    You stopped yourself from laughing. Although a small smile left your lips. You look away for a second and then look back at the young girl.
"Optimus is good at hiding his feelings but you can tell he was sad she never texted him back."
"Why are you telling me this?"
    You finally ask, curious about the story but mostly about Sari's intentions.
"Just so you know that he can be an idiot sometimes but he has a good heart ... Well, spark," Sari's voice becomes more gentle and this caught your attention. This wasn't supposed to be a funny story and now you feel a bit shameful for laughing.
"And I think he just doesn't know how to tell you that."
.
.
.
The sun was starting to come out.
You took off your heels for a little bit until the cold pavement was too much to handle for your skin.
    You weren't expecting for things to go this way. Wanting to start a new life, away from everything. It was all going smoothly until they arrived. Now you find yourself on a bench, cold and hungry. Waiting for the first bus to take you home.
How much longer did you have to endure?
    You cover your face, ashamed of yourself. Of every decision you have made in your life. This is your reality now. About to be kicked out of your apartment, without a stable job and nowhere to go. No one to talk to.
Your cellphone rings.
    Not recognizing the phone number on the screen, you were hesitant to answer but lastly, you picked it up, things can't get worse anyways.
"It was harder to get a hold of you than I thought."
You recognized that voice.
"But I am glad you are doing fine. How's the city life treating you?"
"How did you find me?"
    You ask as you look around you. No one was out yet. Just a few cars passed by and the tweets of birds could be heard.
"That doesn't matter. I called thinking you may be interested in a job."
"I am not. No matter what you say, I won't go back there."
"Are you sure? I can send you over the first half of the payment right now."
You were in desperate need. He knows that and is taking advantage of that. Your instincts  were begging you to say yes. To just do one more job, to get enough food to survive for a little while until you can get back on your feet. But ...
"I appreciate the offer. But I have to decline."
    There is a long pause.
"We'll keep in touch."
.
.
.
"Still thinking about that woman?"
    When Ratchet says things like that, it's difficult not to notice the subtle hits in his voice box.
"Perhaps."
    Ratchet can tell many things from the Prime's actions. He wasn't drinking his fuel and in deep thought. At least he wasn't denying the question.
"I am sure you'll see her again," Ratchet says as he pat's Optimus' shoulder plate. "Next time ask for her number."
"It's not like that."
    His cheeks have a slight blue. Very minimal but Ratchet knows better than that.
It was a lively evening in the Autobot's base. With Bumblebee and Sari playing video games while Prowl and Bulkhead stand next to them. Optimus and Ratchet usually watch from the sidelines, never participating but just treasuring the tranquility of the moment.
"If it's not that then what is it?"
"I just ..."
    Optimus hesitates not because he didn't want to tell Ratchet but because he couldn't understand his own feelings. Was it guilt? Curiosity? It's strange and yet both emotions are something he wishes to not feel. He should be worrying about the things he can fix, people he can help.
He shouldn't think about you.
About yesterday night. About the drive back to the base. You laid on his seat, unconscious. Yet you mustered the strength to say three simple words.
"Don't leave me."
And just like that. His spark ached.
Damn you.
    He doesn't have time for this. For all he cares, he hopes to never see you again.
Because how dare you play with his feelings like that?
"I'm going for a drive."
    There was nothing else to do but ride or die.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A/N: Here is a new story I am working on. It was really fun to write this. Thank you for all the support you have given me this far! I'll continue to write. For any ideas, comments, concerns, comments you can always message me/or inbox me here. Thank you. Also sorry for any mistakes I made. I don't proof read. Regardless, I hope you enjoy and I'll be answering comments soon!
See you in the next story!
94 notes · View notes
withahappyrefrain · 2 days ago
Text
First off, this was beautiful. The relationship between Bradley and Smart Aleck is so amazing but also so realistic. Like their conversations are similar to ones I've had with my own husband. The chemistry is off the charts and I simply cannot get enough of them.
Also them being domestic?!?! Getting ready for a vacation?!?! My heart my heart!!
And now for my ramblings below:
But honestly it's so realistic that he fell asleep I don't blame him
Home - where he could finally wake up next to you and have you be right here - not an ocean apart. Bradley already dreaded the next time he’d have to leave you. 
IM ALREADY CRYING 😭
But later? He’d slap your pussy so hard you’d be begging for his cock in no time - in fact, maybe he should time you? See how long it took you to break, to babble, to beg. 
SIRRRRRR THE SWITCH??? from needing to cuddle her to THIS? Deceased.
“But I woke up beside you, so I can’t be too angry.” You leaned in to kiss him. “It’d be impossible to be angry now, actually.” 
I love them so much they're too cute your honor 😭😭😭
That tattoo gets me Everytime my heart breaks every time
He groaned. Fuck. He couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend who said stuff like that. It was like something out of a wet dream. “You seriously only took your fingers the entire time I was gone?” You nodded. “Good girl.”
😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
Him making her an audiobook I'm dead. Not just because that's hot as hell, but also the fact he wants to do research into the dynamic and make it right/good for her????? Like???! Bradley Bradshaw, the man that you are!!!
God, he would love missionary for how close it lets him be. A romantic at heart! I love him. Also love how he's obsessed with her tits like yes girl, get it!
Tumblr media
This fic is making me feel much better about gaining some weight, thank you for your service
She's dimming the light?! Baby girl he loves you, he loves your body!!! 😭😭 I feel for her, I feel her so hard. Also I really love that you gave her a struggle that so many of us have gone through. Like your insecurities don't just magically vanish when you're in a loving relationship, it takes time and work and I know Smart Aleck will get there!
Stop shaking the thought away Bradley! God, he's so close, so freaking close to figuring it out!!! And in a way I like that it takes him time because that's realistic but I still want to shake them both
Her not knowing what to wear 😭😭 God this is hitting me so hard. And Bradley is just trying to be supportive!! Honestly surprised I haven't cried yet because I feel her so much
You've also convinced me that yes, Maverick is Bradley's dad. I love that smart Aleck has a relationship with him as well!
Bradley's right, if I met a 30 year old man who went by Teddy, it would be an immediate red flag. Also the way he's so protective of her and Amelia?! My heart can't take much more Jordan 😭😭
THE PHONE SEX?!?!?! JORDAN ELIZABETH (idk your middle name, I'm just inserting one bc holy shit that was hot and entirely too short God, do they need a third??? Asking for a friend).
“Yeah?” Granted, if you kept rutting against each other like this, he’d probably cum in his shorts - there really wasn’t a lot of substance to the running shorts he was wearing - but god. He needed to sink inside you. 
THE WAY HE IS SO DESPERATE AND NEEDY FOR HER JORDAN I AM FERAL. FERAL!
Good. Then he wasn’t going to apologize for what he was about to do. Because Bradley had to fuck you, he had to be inside you right now. Something about you and being off and those tights and that dress and his run and the subsequent endorphin rush. 
OH MY GOD ITS THIS SCENE THE ONE YOU TALKED ABOUT
Idly, he recalled the jibe he had ignored from Hangman the other day regarding his leave: not all of us have rich girlfriends to take us on two week vacations.
Jake, that sounds like a personal problem my dude.
Hi, can I personally slap her mom?? Smart Aleck, Bradley loves your curves!! 😭😭I need the next part, I need Bradley to remind her she is more than her body, that he loves her no matter what size she is!!
Tumblr media
rocketman: part iii - Some things Cosmic
Summary: finally back home, bradley can focus on all the things he's missed while he's been gone. there's someone there to properly welcome him home, frantic reunion sex, prepping for an amazing vacation, family dinners, and the casual intimacy he's come to love between the two of you. but there's still something up with you and he can't quite figure it out. it'll be fine, right? catch up with [part 1] and [part 2]
OR sex, s'mores, and secrets
Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 18.5k
Warnings: 18+, explicit language, body insecurity, suggestive dialogue, suggestive content, and sexual content (oral (f + m receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v, dom/sub influence, and praise, rank, and degradation kink). also on ao3!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i want to be naked, i don’t mean my body, i don’t need my body i’m floating away
Bradley startled awake sometime later. It happened sometimes. He had these dreams were it felt like he was falling. Out of his plane, out of the sky, out of your arms. Falling and falling - with no end in sight. 
That wasn’t to say that they were necessarily nightmares or anything. (Because the distinction between the two was glaringly obvious.) 
They just unnerved him a bit. Left him unsettled, untethered. 
He rolled over and stretched his arm out across the bed, until his fingers brushed against something silky. Something warm and silky. He turned his head to find you sprawled out next to him.
You had changed between now and when Bradley had last seen you - he glanced at the clock on his nightstand - seven hours ago. 
Fuck. 
He had fallen asleep before you had even gotten upstairs. 
Goddammit, he felt like an asshole. He rubbed his hands over his face, sighing. This was the last thing he had wanted to happen, especially after what you two talked about earlier that evening. 
You’d give us your wild? Of course. Of course, of course, of course he would. 
Like you knew he was thinking about you, you shifted your hips, inching closer towards him. Your body was only half under the thick duvet cover and top sheet, so even in the early morning light he could still see the navy nightie you were wearing. 
Bradley liked to think that you had stowed it away someplace and changed downstairs in order to surprise him in bed. Except now he’d never know because he had fallen asleep on you. God, he was the worst boyfriend. 
Tonight, the night three months in the making, he had missed cuddling and kissing and all the best parts of getting cozy in bed with you because he had fallen asleep before you had even gotten upstairs. And sure, he had gotten a taste of what was to come on the couch while you laid underneath him and drew imaginary shapes across his chest with your finger and he held you tight and counted your heartbeats. 
But this was supposed to have been a big deal. It was the first time you both went to bed in the same room without the fear that you’d be leaving in the morning or later in the week to go back to your highrise. You were both home. Really, truly home. 
Home - where he could finally wake up next to you and have you be right here - not an ocean apart. Bradley already dreaded the next time he’d have to leave you. 
There was a future with you. There was that little boy - or little girl - from your dream. The perfect mix of you and Bradley. 
(Don’t ever be a Rocket Man. I mean it. 
When you’re out there you want to be here, and when you’re here you want to be out there. 
Promise me you won’t be like me.)
Suddenly, there was this overwhelming urge inside him that if he didn’t touch you and have you in his arms, that he’d slip away, back to space. Untethered. 
You kept him on the ground. You kept him safe. 
Bradley scooted over towards your side of the bed and wrapped his arms around you, unable to bear another moment untethered. There, that was better. You were soft and warm and felt so precious in his arms. And with your nightie rucked up around your hips and one leg extended out and the other hiked up, your body was on full display. 
Easy access.
Your thighs were so fucking soft and curvy and he desperately wanted to slot himself right between them. Have them bracket his head, while his tongue lapped at your pretty pussy. 
Would he start there? Eat you out until you were begging for his cock? Have you grind on his lap…until you were begging for his cock? Or…just generally begging for his cock? 
They all seemed appealing, but admittedly kissing you until you were breathless and then rocking his body above yours until you were both tumbling over the edge had plenty of merit, too. Bradley wanted to treat you like you were precious first. 
But later? He’d slap your pussy so hard you’d be begging for his cock in no time - in fact, maybe he should time you? See how long it took you to break, to babble, to beg. 
But that brought him back to the present. Could he wake you up, now? Bradley knew you’d been stressed and busy ever since your mom had come to town and because of all you’d confessed earlier; so, would it be fair to wake you? You hadn’t woken him up, afterall.
After an indeterminate amount of time of just holding you and watching you breathe, you rolled your bare ass against Bradley’s crotch and let out a pleased hum. He gave your hip a squeeze and you burrowed even deeper in his arms. Your skin was softer than the silk nightie you were wearing and he could feel the heat pouring off your body.
He slipped his hand down to knead your ass and you sighed. “Hmm, da-dley? Bubba?”
“Hey, kid.” He kissed your neck. 
Once you were a little more lucid and opened your eyes, you pulled your nightie down to cover your ass, though that didn’t stop Bradley from playing with the lace hem. 
You rolled over so you were now face to face and wrapped your right leg around his left. 
“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”
You cupped his cheek. “Wanted you to sleep, you looked so tired. Pretty too.” 
It was dark in the room at five thirty-eight, but not completely pitch black, so Bradley could still make out your soft features. You had somehow gotten even more beautiful in the three months he had been gone. It wasn’t obvious, not at first, and not to anyone who wasn’t really paying attention. 
But it was obvious to Bradley because Bradley always paid attention.
“Well,” he kissed your forehead then your nose, “I’m still sorry, especially after what we talked about earlier, should’ve stayed up for you.” 
“But I woke up beside you, so I can’t be too angry.” You leaned in to kiss him. “It’d be impossible to be angry now, actually.” 
He hitched your right leg higher over his hip and groaned when he could feel your core through his joggers. You squirmed against him, cheeky little thing. But with his joggers and t-shirt still on, Bradley was definitely overheated and the sweat was building at the back of his neck, to say nothing about the heat your body was giving off. 
As if reading his mind, you grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and slowly dragged your fingers up his stomach, stopping at both his happy trail and then the patch of hair in the middle of his chest, before taking the t-shirt off completely. A soft thud rang out when you’d thrown it across the room and it presumably landed on the floor. 
“You gonna take these off, too?” He slipped a finger under the waistband of his joggers. 
“Been dying to all night - hips up, Bradshaw.” 
Bradley arched his back and helped you slide his joggers down his legs, taking his boxer briefs with them. Your gaze lingered on his body for a long moment, but you just gave him a coy little smile. 
“Fuck,” he sighed in relief, “How’d you let me sleep in those?” 
“How’d you fall asleep on me?”
“You got me drunk!” 
“Not my fault you’re suddenly a lightweight - Bradley!” 
He pinched your side and you wiggled away from him with a shriek. “Uh uh, not so fast.” 
Bradley pulled you close again, desperate to be nearer to you. You tangled your legs together and pointed your torso towards his, but remained perched on your elbow, while he was laying down flat.  
Suddenly somber, your eyes were drawn back to his body and he just let you look - drink him in and see what you had missed over the last few months. Every new freckle, scar, bruise, age line. 
Bradley couldn’t wait to do the same. What had he missed? What was different?
He could feel your eyes lingering on his abs. Normally, you remarked on his thighs and shoulders, but tonight it seemed you had a different focus. You appeared hesitant, biting your lip, as you dragged your finger across his stomach. 
Did you like how he looked - how he had changed in your time apart?
“You’re so handsome,” you whispered, almost to yourself. 
Bradley kissed you and returned the compliment. “And you’ve gotten even more beautiful since I’ve been gone.” 
You appeared bashful at the comment, which just let Bradley know he’d have to give you more of them over the next few weeks. “Come ‘ere.” Without waiting for a response, Bradley started pressing kisses all over your face, your cheeks, your neck, your lips. If it was possible at this point, he drew your body even closer.
“Bra-adley! We have an entire bed here, you know?” You giggled when he rubbed his nose into your neck.
“Mmmm, but it’s nice and warm here.”
You scooched down on the bed on your stomach so you were looking up at him. With a smile, you began to press languid kisses across his chest, starting just above his belly-button and creeping up to his pecs, heart, and shoulders. You loved his shoulders, you always managed to notch your head there during sex and press little kisses to the scars dotting them and his neck. Bites, too - marks to prove he was yours.
But tonight, it seemed you had a different path in mind and, while you still nipped at his shoulder, you didn’t stop there and instead went straight to the small tattoo on his bicep. You traced your fingers across the roman numerals:
x x x i x
Thirty-nine. 
As in thirty-nine years old. An age neither of his parents ever got to see. 
Bradley had gotten the tattoo when he was in flight school and a bit of a shit with self destructive tendencies. People never really asked what it meant and he never really wanted to tell anyone. 
He’d told Ezra, right around the time when they first started talking about moving in together, before that spectacularly failed. He also told Nat. However, the latter was only because he was drunk and pissed and he had just made lieutenant, once again surpassing his father in something.
Maverick had seen it about a year ago. He had never asked Bradley what it meant and probably never wanted to have it confirmed what it meant. But to anyone who really knew Bradley, it was easy to put together.
Bradley had told you about it on your fourth date. 
It was the second time you’d slept together. Because while your first time had been frantic and had taken you both by surprise (you, in particular, were freaked out that you’d slept with someone on the first date without a condom), the second time was much slower - softer. 
You had planned the date this time. Bradley had picked you up at your apartment - he even had come upstairs to get you - with flowers - and the two of you had dinner at Callie, followed by a performance at the San Diego Symphony. It was actually thanks to one of Bradley’s fun facts about playing the piano that you had gotten the idea. 
Both of you had gotten dressed up (a big departure from your third date hike in Torrey Pines), the food and drinks had been plentiful and delicious, and listening to Ravel’s Piano Concerto in G Major and Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2 was made all the more romantic by the way Bradley held your hand for the entire first piece and had his hand on your thigh for the entire second.
So, after eating you out on your kitchen counter and going two rounds in bed, Bradley had told you what the tattoo meant and about his parents and Maverick and you had told him about your mom and your accident during your junior year of high school. 
And if you had asked Bradley, it was after that date that he knew he was going to fall in love with you. 
It hadn’t felt scary to tell you any of it. It felt right and natural. Like you wouldn’t judge him or get scared when things got hard. Like he wanted to protect you at all costs. 
And because he had told you what the tattoo meant, it made the moments since when you’d really focus and hone in on it all the more sweeter. During this last deployment, Bradley had often felt like the ink was burning into his skin under his flight-suit. It kept reminding him that he had once thought he had a timeline or a stopwatch on his bicep, slowly ticking down. But with you, it was something to strive towards, to reach beyond and be there for LIX, LXXXIX, and even XCIX. 
“What’s it like flying at night?” Your question snapped him out of his thoughts and you pressed another kiss to his tattoo to calm him. “I kept thinking about it on my flight to London. And how you must see this all the time, is it still a big deal? Can you even stop and think about it? Just endless night with thousands of stars to guide you? Being in the middle of the ocean, nothing around for hundreds of miles.”
(What’s it like, out in space?
It’s the best thing in a lifetime of best things - oh, it’s really nothing at all. 
But you always go back.)
“You’d never thought about it before?” his voice came out thick, hoarse. 
You shrugged a shoulder. “Not in that way, I guess? I couldn’t sleep on the way to London, so I pulled up the shade in the middle of the night. I’ve never really thought to do it before, don’t know why - but then I saw all those stars, endless stars, thousands of them. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Your finger stopped tracing patterns on his arm for a moment before it started again. “And I though to myself this is what Bradley sees. This is why he loves it and for that brief blip in time I got it. I understood. Makes me love you even more in some way.” 
Bradley felt like he was going to cry, the feeling swept over him so suddenly. “I uhh - fuck.” 
“You don’t have to say anything,” you sounded contrite, “I just wanted you to know.”
Could he tell you? Could he tell you that flying at night with all the stars in the sky simultaneously made him feel closer to and yet farther away from his parents? It was like they were right there, but also so far out of reach. But he didn’t say any of that. He couldn’t say any of that, not now. The words couldn’t come.
Instead, he pulled you closer, putting your face at level with his own. “I love you.”
You smiled and he could’ve sworn there were tears in your eyes, but it was hard to make out in the darkness. “I love you, too. Now please kiss me.”
Bradley let out a chuckle, but leaned in to kiss you without another word. The kiss was sweet, but still had an underlying desperation attached to it that came with being away for months. But unlike every other kiss you’d shared since Bradley had gotten home, there was no need to stop or to prevent it from going further. No, now you were his. He could have you however he wanted.
Not breaking the kiss, you shifted and bracketed your thighs on either side of his hips, allowing him to slide his hands up your body. He’d never get tired of thinking it, but god, you were so fucking soft. Your hips, your thighs, your breasts, your hands, your lips - actually…
His next words were grunted against your neck. “Your lips are really soft - softer than normal,” he finished when you went to interrupt him. 
“Must be my lip mask. I put it on after I saw that you fell asleep on me…”
“Hey, hey,” he tickled your sides and you collapsed on his chest amidst your giggles, “I said you should’ve woken me up!”
“Would you have woken me up?” You had him there. “See? This way I could stare at you uninterrupted and get all moony over you. Plus, now isn’t this better? No more sleepy bubs.”
No. He was definitely awake now. And from where your core was laid on his bare stomach, he could already feel how wet your were and couldn’t wait to slip inside you. 
“‘Could kiss you for hours,” you said against his lips. You kissed him - once, twice, ten times, smiling all the while. He never wanted you to stop. “Bradley,” you whined, “Need you inside me. Gotta get used to you again. ‘m so tight.” You nipped his earlobe. 
He groaned. Fuck. He couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend who said stuff like that. It was like something out of a wet dream. “You seriously only took your fingers the entire time I was gone?” You nodded. “Good girl.”
You preened under the praise. Because it surely had to have been a bit of a challenge. “Yours are so much bigger, though.” Bradley rolled his eyes at your cheeky tone. “What’re you gonna think up for me to do next time you’re gone? Like what you talked about earlier?” You didn’t linger too much on the next time part of your question, so he didn’t either.
“Hmmm. What about tasks?”
“Oh? Like what?”
“Well, I’d have to do more research, but like you have to wear xyz or send me a picture of you doing something? Whatever we want.”
You nuzzled his neck. “Mmmmm, I like that. Wish we could really talk when you’re gone, though. I’m not sure I could handle every comms officer hearing what I need from you again…”
An idea suddenly struck Bradley. It was amazing he hadn’t thought of it before. “Maybe I can make you an audiobook?”
Your jaw dropped and you contorted your body to look up at him. “You’d do that? Seriously?”
His cheeks colored. “I mean, not like an actual one, but like a voice memo or something?” The idea didn’t sound nearly as good out loud as it did in his head. “If you wanted…”
“Oh my god, yes! I very much do want.”
Without another word, Bradley rolled you both over so now he was on top, knees bracketing your hips so as to not put his full weight on you. Your nightie was still covering your stomach and breasts, but that didn’t stop him from snaking his hands underneath the navy silk to play with them. They felt fuller than normal - not that he was complaining, but he hadn’t noticed earlier and now -
His cock brushed against your stomach in a way that had you bucking up against him, so desperate, so keen, so fucking good. Good girl. Your lips were eager against his as you poured every thought, every email, every Facetime call into your kiss. 
God, it had been so long. Fooling around on the couch earlier in the evening paled in comparison to how plump your lips felt and how keenly your body reacted to his. Because you felt so good. Months, weeks, days had passed and Bradley had never felt anything as good as your body beneath his. 
You sighed and squirmed up the bed so your head was laid across the pillows, all the while Bradley made his way down the bed. 
“More, bubs, please.” 
How could he refuse, especially when you had asked so nicely? He bent forward to give you a sloppy kiss on the lips before working his way down your body, from your neck and collarbones, to your breasts through your nightie, and finally to right below your belly-button. From there, you readily allowed him to bend your knees so your feet were planted firmly on the bed and your core was completely exposed to him. 
Even in the early morning light it was exquisite. You had the prettiest pussy Bradley had ever seen - and it was his, all his.
“Fucking gorgeous.” 
You startled at the first touch of his lips on your thighs, but let out the prettiest little sigh when he sucked on the skin by your birthmark. There was another as he licked along one of your lightning lines. And another as he kissed the hood of your clit. 
God, you smelled so fucking good and were groomed just the way he liked it -  like the perfect, obedient, good girl that you were. And perfect, obedient, good girls got their pussy played with until they were babbling like dumb little sluts.
“- Would have thought this would be your first stop?”
Bradley chuckled, but didn’t stop dragging his fingers across your inner thighs and lower lips. “Yeah? What, d’you think I’d do? Just dive right in? Take you on the kitchen table?”
“I would’ve let you.”
Once the words had sunk in, he stopped teasing you. His elbows gave out beneath him and he groaned with his face pressed against the sheets. Fuck. That was a conversation for another time, but just the thought of you letting Bradley basically use you had him grinding his hips into the mattress.
You were so good. 
He popped his head back up and slapped you - lightly - across your pussy. “You keep saying shit like that and next time I just might.”
In response, you arched your back and tried to close your legs around his head, but Bradley just tutted and spread them further.
“Uh-uh, need to have a look at her, I've gone three months without her.” Your hips jumped off the mattress as his fingers started playing with you, tracing circles over and dipping in and out of your cunt. “‘pretty pussy. She took such good care of you while I was gone, didn’t she? Look at you dripping for me, huh?”
His fingers scissored inside of you, dragging against your walls, while his thumb needled your clit. Your wetness spread across his fingers and he, in turn, spread it across your folds and inner thighs. He liked when you were messy. He liked to feel you all over his face.
“Bradley,” you whined. “Stop teasing.”
Neither of you really wanted that, so it didn’t even merit a response from him. Instead, he kept sliding his fingers inside you in and out, in and out and crooked them ever so slightly before he added a third. Above him, you gasped and jolted. 
“‘Atta girl, arch your back, just like that.” You whimpered at his praise and kept rocking your hips in tandem with his fingers. Fucking glorious, such a good girl for da -
“- Bradley…” He peered up to see that you had one arm over your eyes, while the other was pawing at your breasts through your nightie.
“God, you’re sucking on my fingers so tight, I would believe you’ve taken anything up this pretty pussy in months.”
“‘Want your mouth, please, please…” 
“Where?” his voice was muffled. Bradley sucked his lips around your thigh, right by your labia, but refrained from kissing you were you wanted him most. He wanted to mark you up everywhere, have your thighs and breasts and neck covered in little bites and bruises. 
Mine. Mine. Mine. 
Good. Good. Good. 
You whined. It sounded pathetic and he had barely even started. “My pussy. Please, Bradley? Please?”
Who was he to deny you? Because, god, you tasted so fucking good. It was hard not to absolutely devour you, especially after going for so long without you. Bradley slid his hands down from your hips to grab your ass and rut your cunt deeper against his face. As a reward, he got a slew of pretty little whimpers out of you.
He continued at a steady pace, alternating between probing your clit and slipping his tongue inside you. Above him, you arched your back and he pressed a firm hand on your stomach to keep you down. 
“Bradley,” you cried as you rode his face. 
God, you sounded so pretty now, he couldn’t wait to get you on his cock later. 
Pretty girl. 
Smart girl. 
Good girl. 
His girl with a body like Aphrodite. 
“Ahhh - fuc - ahhh.” You made that sound and he knew, without even looking up, that your head was tipped back in pleasure and you were close. “Bubs,” your voice came out small, “want you - inside me, now.”
“Uh-uh.” Bradley pulled his head back, but continued fingering you. “You need to come first.” 
Come on his face. 
You shook your head frantically against the pillow. “No.” You gasped when he purposely plunged his fingers deeper. “‘wanna with you - ahh inside me.”
Somehow you grabbed the hand he had pressed on your stomach and you dragged it up your body. His knuckles brushed against the silk of your nightie until you eventually pressed sloppy, open mouthed kisses to your interlocked fingers. And all Bradley could do was say your name in censure, which ultimately came out heavy with need.
“Please? Want it to be together our first time back.” You whined pitifully. “Haven’t touched myself in days.”
All you had to do was pout and he was gone. 
“Fine,” he smacked your thigh, “but I’m gonna make you come again after I finish inside you.”
“Yes, yes, anything, Bradley.”
You would be spent and whiny by then, it wouldn’t be hard. 
After swirling his fingers once more around in your cum, Bradley held his fingers up to your mouth for you to clean them off. “That good?” You hummed around the digits before he retracted them and tapped your cheek twice. “Atta girl.”
Next, he shifted up on the bed so his knees were straddling your waist. He was achingly hard at this point and bit back a smile as you made grabby hands for his cock. It pulsed in your grasp and you swiped your thumb over the slit to rub his pre-cum over the head. Fuck, that felt divine. While you may have relished how much larger his fingers were than yours, Bradley loved how large his cock looked in your smaller hands. However, he’d already let your tender touches go on long enough - another minute and he’d come all over that silk nightie you hadn’t taken off yet.
“You gonna be a good girl for me?” Your eyes were wide and you nodded. 
Trusting, needy, desperate. Such a perfect girl for him. 
“Wanna be full.”
He brushed the head of his cock against your pussy lips, making sure it was nice and wet and, god, you were fucking soaked and practically sucked him in. You whimpered and muttered something indistinguishable, but wrapped your arms around his shoulders and canted your hips up for more. Then, once Bradley slipped just the tip of his cock inside you, you gasped, but brought him closer. Your nails dug into his shoulders, hopefully pressing little crescents into the skin. He pulled back and slid in again, inch by inch, earning a breathy gasp from you every time. 
Holyfuckingshit. You were so tight. So fucking tight, even after prepping you with his tongue and fingers. 
Yours are so much bigger, though your voice echoed through his head. 
You were so fucking soft and warm and wet and felt perfect around him. With each thrust he’d grunt out your name and you in turn would give a whiny Bradley and eventually wrapped your legs around his hips. And then you were also clenching down on him like you’d spent the entire three months doing kegel exercises. 
“Fuck, you made me so hard - thinking about how much of a good girl you were while I was away, keeping this nice and tight for me,” he barely got the words out. 
“‘do anything for - for you. ‘d let you do anything to - mmhmm - me,” you finished with a whimper. 
Fuck. Your unwavering trust in Bradley always took him aback. Because you meant it. You really would let him do anything to you. If you had the slightest inclination that it would please him, you would do it. He had never had someone who trusted him that much. And that wasn’t something he took lightly. 
With that thought in mind, he snapped his hips against yours in a particularly hard thrust that had you crying out. 
“Mmm harder.”
He bent down to suck on your neck. This - the closeness - was why he liked missionary so much. It was perfect for this exact moment. There was plenty of time to take you hard and fast later.
“Oh, god. Feel so full - Bradley, Bra - Bradley!” With every utterance of his name, he drove deeper inside you. Harder inside you. You’d ride him next time, he’d make sure of it. But for now, breathing each other’s air, gasping against each other’s mouth, and feeling the sweat on each other’s brow, being so impossibly close to each other, it was hard to say where Bradley’s soul ended and yours started. 
Yours and mine are the same. 
He groaned your name and you opened your eyes to gaze up at him with an almost dazed expression. Grabbing the back of your knee, Bradley went in at a different angle, trying to get deeper. “Feel how much your little hole’s dripping? Just needed me to stretch you out again.”
“Mmmmm yes, yes, da-dley - ahhhh,” you cried out, “can I come? Please, please?”
Oh, you were such a good girl for him. Asking so nicely, so prettily. So properly. Thank god he had prepped you, he wasn’t going to last much longer, himself. It was kind of pathetic. Both of you were, to be frank. Obviously, you more than him in this instance, but -
“‘Course. There you go, sweetheart, come on my cock like a good girl.”
When you finally came a few moments later, it was with a strangled cry of his name that Bradley swore was the most beautiful sound he’d heard in months. As the shudder of pleasure swept over you and you tightened your core around him, Bradley hastened to find his own release. The slew of cries and whimpers against his lips as you tried to settle down only spurred him on further. He drove into you again and again and again. 
He had to get there with you - had to. You clung to him and notched your head by his neck, only to graze your lips along the tender skin there and bite. 
“Fuck,” he grunted. “‘You ready for me to come inside you, sweetheart? Know how much you missed it.”
You nodded against his neck. “Yes,” you whispered, “Bradley, please…”
He groaned your name. It sounded so good like that, so perfect. He had to say it again and again and again. With each stroke, your overstimulated pussy fluttered around him, pulling him towards his own orgasm. His jaw clenched and his back muscles tightened and Bradley could barely support his own weight over you for another moment - 
“‘s good, bubs, feel so full.”
Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. That was it. That did it. 
With a final moan of your name, Bradley came inside you, painting your pussy with his cum. His cocked twitched one final time as the last streams of cum filled you up. He notched his head against your shoulder and he breathed in your sweet scent. 
Goddamn. 
Once he settled down and caught his breath sometime later, he moved to pull out, knowing that when he did so, both your cum would drip down your thighs. Your gorgeous, thick thighs. He already needed to get lost in them again. And wasn’t that just the thing? Bradley was obsessed with you. He could never get enough of you.
“No, no, not yet,” you whimpered. 
He stopped and pulled you closer, but slightly changed your position. There was some perverse part of him that wanted to make a comment about keeping you on his cock for the rest of the morning so you could get used to him again, but he refrained after thinking about the tone of your voice. You sounded so fucking good and docile and submissive. Such a good girl. 
“Pretty sure you owe me another one…” You burrowed your head against his neck and moaned when he shifted. “How ‘bout I stay inside you? ‘That okay?” You nodded and your pussy tightened against him. “Good girl.”
Keeping you close, Bradley slid one hand in between your bodies to play with your throbbing clit. You arched your back up towards him, trying in vain to get closer, though that was nigh impossible - the two of you were already as close as two people could be. 
Yours and mine are the same.
He needled your clit between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it back and forth, trying to get some moans and whines out of you. God, your body felt unreal. Still so warm around him, still so wet for him. All for him. 
Mine, mine, mine. 
As your body shifted, your pebbled nipples brushed against his bare chest and Bradley was remiss for not playing more attention to them earlier. But that could’ve been because you were still wearing that goddamn nightie. You were flustered and warm and your skin was glistening with the slightest sheen of sweat. 
He bent his head down and mouthed at your breasts through the midnight blue silk. They were already hardened to peaks, desperate to be suckled on, especially after noting their new size. There would be time for that later, he had to remind himself. 
For now, he nipped at the top of your cleavage and kept playing with your clit. You were so oversensitive, you were practically shaking in his arms. And in response, you raked your hands through Bradley’s hair, pulling on the strands. Fuck him. That felt divine, especially as he felt you tighten around him. 
“Brad-ley,” you whimpered, “’s too much.”
“Shhh, easy, easy, there’s no rush.” He tipped your chin up. “You want me to stop?” You shook your head. “Take a deep breath. That's it. Good girl.”
Little whimpers kept escaping your mouth, but you burrowed your face against his neck and trusted him to take care of you. You nipped at the skin there and he hoped it would leave a mark; let everyone know that he was yours and only yours for the next few weeks. 
Mine, mine, mine.
“I’ve got to take care of you, you were such a good girl while I was gone. My best girl, huh?”
“Mmmm.”
“So beautiful, so smart. Took such good care of things for me, huh?” He could feel as well as hear your breath hitching, letting him know that you were close. “‘gorgeous girl, so proud of you, sweet g -”
And that did it. 
So proud of you.
You came with a cry and your walls fluttered around his cock once again. A sudden gush of wetness coated both yours and Bradley’s thighs. God, it was beautiful. You were beautiful. Your name kept running through his mind and Bradley realized he was actually muttering it against your lips through kisses. There were tears in your eyes and he thumbed them away before they could slide down your beautiful face.
“Hey, too much?” He kissed your cheeks, which unfortunately only made more tears spring from your eyes. “I didn’t hurt you, right?” 
“No, no,” you shook your head, “I just missed you so much, think I’m overwhelmed,” you finished sheepishly. 
The tension in Bradley’s shoulders eased and he smiled down at you. “Now you’re gonna make me cry, kid.”
“I love you.” The words came out quietly, but it was like they’d only just come out of your mouth before Bradley was saying them back. 
“Love you, too.” The smile he got out of you warmed his heart and he pecked your lips before tucking your head under his chin.
The two of you laid there for some time with Bradley still inside you. In fact, he was pretty certain you may have dozed off at one point, but he didn’t want you to be too uncomfortable when you woke up later. With that in mind, he slowly pulled out and settled you on the bed beside him. You fussed a little, but Bradley kissed your forehead, heading it off. 
He started with your name, “I’ll be right back, okay? Going to the bathroom.” You nodded at him, your eyes wide and trusting. 
It was chilly out of bed, away from you, and Bradley only paused for a brief moment to slip on a pair of his sleep shorts from the dresser, before heading off to the bathroom to get a damp towel for you. He hastened back to the bedroom, now almost fully lit in the early morning light. You made such a pretty picture all tucked under the thick, white duvet. 
“Bradley?” You stretched out underneath the covers and let out a little whimper. “‘m sore.”
“Shit, sorry,” he said with your special nickname tacked on the end. “Come ‘ere.” Despite his words, he came to you and dutifully cleaned you up with the warm cloth. 
“‘s not your fault,” you slurred, “need to get used to it again. Missed you.”
The cloth passed over your thighs once, twice, three times, before Bradley brushed it against your core once, twice, three times. You sighed and gave him a lazy smile, which he easily returned. 
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the inside of your knee. “Be right back,” he whispered. 
You’d barely managed to get back under the covers by the time he came back from the bathroom. And then, with all the care and love you deserved at the moment, he bundled you up in his arms. You were so warm and smelled so pretty and your nightie felt so soft against his rough fingers. Everything about that moment was perfect. You were so precious. You pressed your cheek against his chest and he hoped you could tell how fast his heart was beating. 
“I missed being with you like this, missed holding you.”
You pressed lazy kisses to his chest for a moment before you eventually tipped your head up to meet his eyes. “Can we stay like this? Just for a while? Don’t wanna get up yet.”
“‘Course,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “go back to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
--------------
When Bradley woke hours later, he did so slowly. He was pleasantly warm, he was finally sleeping on a true mattress, and you were slotted between his legs sucking his cock. 
Surely, there were few better ways to wake up than to have your sweet lips wrapped around him. It wasn’t something you did often, at least in terms of waking Bradley up this way, but he loved whenever you took the initiative. It showed how eager you were - how desperate. Really, the only thing that could top it would be your pussy sunk deep on his cock as you rode him.
You had to have been at it for a while, for he was achingly hard by this point. His hips bucked up, thrusting his cock deeper into your mouth and you let out a surprised moan, no doubt having thought he was still sleeping, before taking him further. Your tight grip on his thighs left him relatively grounded, else he would have set off a round of those gagging noises from you that he liked so much. That wet mouth that he liked so much - fuck. 
Bradley groaned your name. You peered up at him with those wide, innocent eyes like you weren’t getting him off while he slept. Like your pussy wasn’t soaking. Like you hadn’t been grinding it against his bare thigh for the last however many minutes. 
And you kept at it with Bradley’s hand grabbing your hair and guiding you. You kept working him, forcing him deeper down your throat. He moaned and you responded back in kind. Such a good mouth, such a good girl, taking care of him like this. It took him a moment to realize he was doing it, but he was mumbling your name, almost nonsensically. 
But then he felt, rather than saw, you remove one of your hands from his thighs to presumably put it between your legs to play with your needy pussy. And that just wouldn’t do.
“Fuck. Get up here,” he said and then punctuated it with a growl of your name when you stayed down. The whimper you let out had him bucking his hips up off the mattress. “I’m serious.”
Almost begrudgingly, you eased him out of your mouth and the resulting, wet pop echoed throughout the bedroom. You looked far too pleased with yourself as you sucked on your finger - the one that had definitely been shoved up your pussy only moments ago - and hummed in response. 
“Get up here - now.”
You braced yourself on either side of Bradley’s hips and teasingly brushed your pussy against his aching cock a couple times, practically begging for him to sink inside you. It would be so easy for you to ride him right now, but that wasn’t what he wanted.
“Bossy, bossy,” you teased and crept up his body, pressing kisses to his happy trail and chest along the way. But just as you were about to kiss him on the lips, he stopped you.
“Uh uh.” He stuck his finger in the air and mimed a circle. “Turn around.” 
Your jaw dropped. “Are you…” Again, just Bradley twirled his finger around and smiled. “F-fine.” 
“But,” at this you relaxed your thighs to press more of your weight on his stomach, “you have to take this off,” he finished by thumbing the navy fabric of your nightie. 
It only took a moment for the smile to creep across your face, but you didn’t take your eyes off Bradley’s as you slid the dainty straps off your shoulders, one at a time. You didn’t take the nightie off, it still covered all of your stomach, but it let Bradley ogle your breasts unimpeded for a moment. 
“Will that be all, lieutenant commander?”
He just shook his head in disbelief. “Cheeky little slut.” 
And then you smiled, looking so proud of yourself for rattling him that he had no choice but to slap the top of your ass. Hard. You huffed.
“Now turn around.” 
You rolled your eyes, but managed to turn around with Bradley’s assistance. The brief awkwardness of limbs strewn about was easily forgotten as soon as you got into position and he was rewarded with the sight of your glistening pussy in front of his face.
Bradley didn’t bother holding back a moan and started kneading your ass and running his fingers along your lower spine. Meanwhile, you wiggled down his body, dragging your breasts against his bare skin for the first time all morning. They were so soft, but your nipples were pebbled as they brushed against his stomach. He hissed when you lingered there for a moment to tease him.
Not one to let you get the upper hand, Bradley grabbed your hips to draw you close to his face and inhaled your sweet scent. Fuck. You were so good. You let out a mewl and startled when he first made contact with his tongue and then attempted to nose at your clit. That always got you going. Same with his mustache against the tender skin at the apex of your thighs. Maybe he would abstain from shaving on vacation, if only you’d ask.
“Fucking gorgeous,” he groaned your name against your skin and then he feasted. 
Meanwhile, the way your hands were playing with his balls right now had him already teetering towards an orgasm. After only being able to fantasize about having your hands on him - your sweet, delicate hands on him - for the last three months, this felt divine. And then you put your mouth on him and he was well and truly done for.
“Fuck.” 
Neither of you lasted much longer after that.
--------------
After your depravity filled wake up call, the rest of the morning took on a decidedly more chaste tone. The room was filled with giggles and the sounds of kissing as Bradley told you some of the more entertaining stories from the carrier and Australia, while you revealed that you had watched his 60 Minutes segment at least nine times. When he asked you why you’d watched it nine times, you just ducked your head and bashfully said it was because you sounded really smart.
It was finally around noon when Bradley said you two needed a shower and to have breakfast before embarking on the rest of the day’s activities, which included a tour of the house, complete with all the little goodies you’d amassed for him over the last couple months that he had glossed over last night, and getting ready for drinks with Nat, Caroline, and Max at six-thirty. Granted, the latter was six hours away, but Bradley had a feeling you both would be pretty slow to the take that afternoon. Probably would get a little distracted, too.
“‘m gonna take a shower,” his lips brushed kisses up and down your arms and over your once again silk clad breasts and he was rewarded with giggles, “you wanna come with me?”
“Oh!? Uhh - yeah, we could take a shower.” You pecked him on the lips. “Can you warm it up first, please?”
The pout worked - it always did - but Bradley still groaned, totally hamming it up. “Mmmm, I suppose...”
With one final kiss, he dragged himself out of bed and made his way into the bathroom. He flicked the lights on with a snap, going for full brightness on the dimmer, and turned around to give you a cheeky wink, only to see you worrying your lip between your teeth and staring intently down at your clasped hands on top of the duvet. He called your name and your eyes snapped up to meet his gaze.
“You good?”
You nodded and put a smile on your face. “Yeah, be right in.”
Odd. But then again, Bradley could’ve been reading too much into it. He hadn’t seen you since before Christmas, afterall. You were probably just tired. Yesterday had been a long day. And he had run you pretty ragged this morning. 
The water had warmed up while he was going to the bathroom and was the perfect temperature by the time he finally got under the spray. Just as he was about to call out to you again, he heard you enter the bathroom - and promptly dim the lights. 
“Woah, woah - hey!”
“Sorry!” you called out from behind the shower curtain. “I uhh - I just have a headache, don’t want the lights too bright too early in the morning.”
It was twelve-fifteen. 
Bradley frowned and looked at your shadow moving on the other side of the curtain. You were standing up straight - he would almost call it stiff. It was an odd request, to say the least, but it wasn’t exactly pitch black in the bathroom now, just a little darker, especially from the waist down. 
“Okay, just be careful when you get in - here,” he pulled the curtain back and held his hand out for you to step over the lip of the tub. You startled, but nevertheless took his hand. “There you go.”
The two of you stood face to face for a moment, allowing you both to get your fill of the other. It was definitely darker in the shower now, but Bradley could still make out your ample curves. Streams of water dripped down your chest as you tipped your head under the faucet and it was impossible for him to not watch as the droplets cascaded over your breasts. 
They looked fucking glorious by the way - he was slightly put out that he hadn’t gotten a chance to really play with them in bed earlier - you had only given him a glimpse of them for a few moments - but there was always later. Or now? Now was also good.
“Did these get bigger?” The words were out before he could think twice and he cupped a breast in each hand. Your nipples pebbled as his thumbs passed over them, back and forth, back and forth.  
Your eyes flew up to his face before glancing right back down at your breasts. “What? No, I don’t think - no.”
Bradley leaned back to catch your eye. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. They look great, feel even better, they’re just…”
“Oh! I guess I hadn’t noticed.” You turned your back to him. “Here, do you want to do my hair? Or I can do yours? Why don’t I do yours?”
Before he could even process what was happening, you spun back around and grabbed the shampoo bottle from behind Bradley and squirted some Ouai into your hands. He leaned forward so you could lather his hair up with the suds and appreciated your care in keeping them out of his eyes. For someone normally so dominant and in control, Bradley really did love when you fussed over him. He knew it wasn’t something you were comfortable with in every aspect of your relationship - taking charge like that - but it was nice in settings like this. Once the shampoo had set, he crouched down for you to rinse and then repeat the process with the conditioner.  
“I think we need a bench in here.”
“Yeah?” 
You hummed. “Just a little bump out, enough for someone to sit. You’re getting older, I wouldn’t want you to fall or hurt yourself during any rigorous shower activity.”
“Rigorous shower activity?” Bradley chuckled and nudged you with his shoulder before wetting your hair under the faucet. “You know, if I took all my showers with you, I wouldn’t have to worry about that, kid. Here, turn around, ‘s your turn.”
Gently, Bradley lathered up your hair and made sure to massage your scalp the same way you had done for him. You let out a pleased hum and then he repeated the process with the conditioner, though he might’ve used a bit too much. 
Once you were both back under the spray, you rested your palms on his chest and peered up at him with wide eyes. You looked like you were about to cry and he pulled you closer in comfort.
“I haven’t stayed here at the house too much while you were gone, just a night or two - like that night…with the email,” you confessed, “it didn’t feel right. I kept thinking you’d come home any minute.” Bradley pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “But I’d drop stuff off slowly, a couple boxes a week and whatnot.”
You both stood in the silence of the falling water for a few moments before you spoke again. 
“It just doesn’t feel real - all of this. I keep worrying that you’re gonna disappear again tomorrow. Or that I’m going to wake up or something. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
And that was just the thing: Bradley didn’t know what he’d do without you either. He had never felt this way before; that there was someone else tied to him, someone else living for him, while he in turn lived for them. 
“Hey,” he tipped your chin up, “you’re not the only one worried about that. But I have you with me now and I’m always gonna do my damndest to come home to you, alright, kid?”
“Alright.” You wrapped your arms around his waist, keeping him close, and pressed a kiss to his chest. “Love you, bubs.”
Bradley instantly tightened his arms around you. “Love you, too.” 
I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.
Before long, your kiss on his chest turned into a kiss on the mouth and your hands roved over each other’s bodies as you shared the loofah and soap. “So broad, so strong,” you said in wonder as you roved your hands over his chest and thighs and chased away the bubbles. 
And then, after multiple passes over your breasts at Bradley’s hands - it was unfair how good your breasts looked all sudsed up - it was time for a final rinse. He hopped out of the shower first and had a towel waiting for you when you got out, before you ultimately changed into your fluffy white robe. 
The two of you completed your morning routines side by side in comfortable silence until Bradley went back to the bedroom to put on some running shorts and a t-shirt. 
“You want breakfast?” He snuck up behind you at the bathroom counter and kissed your cheek. 
You smiled at him in the mirror. “Yes, please.”
“Anything in particular.” He kissed you again. “Pancakes? French toast? Ooooo maybe hash browns and bacon, too? The works?”
You had been giggling while he had been kissing your neck, but you suddenly turned sober as he rattled off your options. “Oh, uhh - maybe some eggs?”
Bradley frowned. “Like scrambled?” 
“Or poached? I’ve been eating a lot of egg whites lately…” With the way you were bundled up in your robe and with your hair still wet from the shower, you looked small - young. Egg whites?
“Oh, uh, yeah. Sure, I can do some egg whites for you.” 
Egg whites? Since when did you like egg whites? You had always liked your eggs scrambled and a little runny - with ketchup. Idly, Bradley remembered Max eating egg whites and low carb toast for the entire month of May to get in shape for yacht week in Croatia. He shook the thought away.
“Anything you want, kid.”
“Thank you.” You gave him a soft smile and a kiss on the check. “I’ll be down in a bit, okay?”
And with that smile and a promise, Bradley headed off downstairs to make breakfast. 
Egg whites, really?
-----------
Bradley’s homecoming weekend extravaganza - your words - could only be considered truly complete with a family dinner at Maverick and Penny’s on Sunday evening. Penny wouldn’t hear of you two bringing anything to dinner, so all that was needed to do upon returning from a morning hike in Torrey Pines was shower and change. 
You didn’t have to be there until six thirty, but it was already five forty-five and at least a 20 minute drive, so you were both a little more hurried than you were after yesterday’s shower. In fact, when Bradley got out of the shower, he was surprised to see that you were still in your bathrobe and staring at your half of the closet like it contained all of life’s mysteries. Granted, your hair and makeup were done, but you just stood there with your arms crossed over your chest, absentmindedly biting your thumb nail. 
How long had you been standing there?
“If it makes it any easier,” you startled at Bradley’s voice, “I’m sure Mav will just be wearing a t-shirt and jeans.” Barely looking at the shirt he grabbed to go with his chino shorts, Bradley fell into your line of sight. “You good?”
You relaxed your shoulders. “Yeah, just…not sure what to wear.” 
The two of you stood side by side to take in the full array of clothes in the closet. While not all of your clothes - some bulkier items and more formal dresses were in the guest bedroom - there were still dozens of options in front of the two of you. You took a hesitant step forward and eventually took a pair of boyfriend jeans off a shelf and held them to your chest. Just as you were about to grab a boxy oxford, Bradley snatched up a brightly patterned, tiered, sleeveless dress that would hit at the middle of your thighs. The empty hanger rattled against the rod, but it stopped you in your tracks, the oxford momentarily forgotten. 
“This would look nice.” 
Even to Bradley’s own ears, his voice sounded lame, almost a little desperate. But there was something about you choosing an oxford to wear after staring at your closet for ten minutes that gave him pause. You had such pretty clothes, it would be a shame for you not to wear them. 
“It’s not too much?” Bradley shook his head and held the dress up to your body. “I bought it to bring on our trip, but now I’m not sure…”
“It’s perfect, trust me, you’ll look gorgeous. And you better pack it for Mexico, too, okay?”
“Okay.” You appeared a little flustered, but had lost the sad look in your eyes from moments ago, so Bradley considered it a win. 
With a kiss to the side of your head, he told you to finish getting ready and that he would be downstairs when you were done. 
After getting his wallet and car keys together, Bradley made his way to the mudroom to put on his new sneakers. Though you wouldn’t admit it, you had definitely ordered them for Bradley during one of your many Ted Lasso rewatches while he was away. He reminds me of you sometimes, you would demure when pressed. It was cute. 
With one foot propped up on the bench to tie his shoes, Bradley noticed the row of jackets in front of him. He called your name. “You want a jacket?”
“Yes, please,” your voice carried from upstairs.
So, he grabbed your jean jacket, figuring it would look good with your dress, and got himself his oversized grey Navy crewneck sweatshirt. Maverick and Penny always liked to have drinks and dessert out on the back patio, and though it had been a relatively warm day for March, Bradley knew the breeze off the ocean would make it chilly later. Maybe they’d light the firepit and have s’mores? You loved s’mores even more than Bradley did, if you could believe it. 
Just as he had gotten the jackets and threw his sweatshirt on, you appeared beside him. And just like Bradley had thought, the dress looked perfect on you.
“See? You look gorgeous.” You ducked your head and muttered thanks. “Here.” Bradley held your jean jacket open and helped you slip it on while you put on your sandals. And then you set off for Coronado in the Bronco. 
-----------
After a lovely dinner filled with much chatter and laughter, Amelia and Penny dragged you upstairs to show you her dress for the sophomore semi-formal next week. This left Bradley and Maverick to clean up the dinner plates and get things situated outside on the patio.
It was completely beyond Bradley’s comprehension how to get Penny’s fancy fire pit started, but Maverick had a flame roaring in no time. The two sat across from each other - Maverick on one of the cushioned, wicker swivel chairs with Bradley on the matching loveseat - and sipped their beers in comfortable silence for a few moments. The sun had set about fifteen minutes ago, but the sky was still a kaleidoscope of pinks, purples, and oranges. 
“So, how’re you really doing?” Though the question has been asked at dinner already, Bradley had just given a vague answer. But now that it was just him and Maverick, he felt he could be honest.
“Fine, I guess.” Bradley made a face. “‘s always weird doing some stuff again. We went to the store earlier; always takes me back that first time.”
“It’s the cereal. Too many choices.” 
“Yes, thank you!” Bradley exclaimed, glad he had someone who could relate. Every time he brought it up with Nat or the guys, they just looked at him like he had seven heads. They went from having few choices on the carrier, to endless when on land. “And the chips. Too many options and sizes.” Maverick chuckled. “We went on the way back from Torrey Pines to get more Diet Coke and I wandered off like three times just to stare at the oversized boxes of Lucky Charms.”
Maverick smiled wryly and took a sip of his beer. “You don’t look as tired as you did Friday afternoon, that’s for certain.” Though the way he’d said it had been completely innocent, Bradley still blushed.
“Yeah, it’s been amazing. You should’ve seen her Friday night, she was so excited to make dinner and the house just -” he broke off, “it felt nice coming home to someone like that, I guess.”
Nice? I guess? Bradley sounded like an idiot. It had felt more than nice coming home to you. Coming home this time made him never want to leave again. But the real test would come tomorrow when you went to work. And Bradley would be alone for the first time in three months. Alone in your big, quiet, house. It hadn’t been quiet in three months. There was always something else going on around him. But not tomorrow. Tomorrow, he could do things on his own time and make his own food and pick his own clothes. He could have choices. Luckily, Maverick didn’t seem to notice his sudden unease.
“That was all she talked about last week.” 
It took a concerted effort on Bradley’s part not to be jealous that you’d talked to Maverick so much last week when all Bradley had gotten were emails. Beautiful, heartfelt, smutty emails, but emails nonetheless. Before Friday, Bradley hadn’t heard your voice in weeks.
“She did a really good job. The cake was unreal, I had a piece for breakfast this morning.” That got a chuckle out of them both. “It’s nice to see her comfortable doing something outside of her wheelhouse. She kept sending me pictures from her lessons and even cooked for me on Facetime once.”
Just as Maverick appeared to be gearing up for a follow up, probably about how he’d gotten the leftovers from those cooking lessons, Bradley rushed out: “But we really talked Friday night - about a lot of things. It was good, though.”
“What about?” 
“Kids,” the word slipped out before Bradley could think better of it, “family, that kind of stuff.”
Maverick pondered this and took a sip of his beer. “And you didn’t mind talking about that right when you got back? Seems like a lot.”
“No, it was good.” Not looking at Maverick while he was talking made it easier for Bradley. That way he couldn’t see his pity. He shifted in his seat. “I’d rather we talk about it now anyway, that way it isn’t hanging over our heads on vacation and whatnot.” 
The fact that Bradley thought you were keeping something else from him didn’t need to be brought up yet. He wouldn’t even be able to put it into words, it was just a gut feeling at this point. You just seemed a little off. The egg whites, the boxy oxfords, the chocolate cake.
There was hesitancy in Mav’s voice when he spoke next. “So, you looking to get engaged soon? It’s been what? A year?”
“Almost, yeah. But uhh no, no.” The denial was firm in his voice. “Probably still a year off at least. It’s gonna happen - we both want it to - but there’s no need to rush it. I’m excited for it to be just the two of us for a little while, you know in the house and everything.”
“Good, good,” he sounded pleased, “you two have a good thing going, I wouldn’t want -”
“- We’re not going to have kids until I’m out of the Navy.” Bradley said the words in a rush and he really hoped Maverick would ignore how thick his voice sounded. 
But of course he didn’t. Maverick snapped his eyes over to meet Bradley’s, but he was suddenly focused on a loose thread on the upholstery. Shit. Why had he said that?
“Oh.” It was a long time before either of them spoke again. Bradley finished half his beer. “Is that your idea or hers?”
“It’s both of ours.” Bradley winced realizing how defensive he sounded. “Well, I kind of brought it up first, but she was the one who said we’d wait.”
“And you’re okay with that?” Bradley nodded. “Jesus, Bradley, you’ll be at least forty by the time -”
“- Forty-two.” 
Maverick looked sad and Bradley hated it. Because he knew, without Bradley even having to spell it out why you were going to wait. Because Maverick had been there. Because Maverick had held Bradley’s mom as she cried on too many occasions to count. Because Maverick had taken Bradley to all the father/son events in the place of his own father. Because Bradley realized, as he had gotten older, that Maverick thought it was his fault that Bradley grew up without a father. 
“Listen, we both know that a million things can happen between now and then and maybe the timing will be all wrong, but we want to wait. If it gives either of us the slightest peace of mind, we’re going to try and wait.”
The silence was heavy this time around. 
“Well, I guess it’s good you’re talking about it now - even if I don’t entirely agree with it. You should be enjoying your life together, not waiting around…” Maverick seemed to think better of what he was saying and took a sip of his beer. A beat passed until he spoke again. “Also reminds me of some stuff I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh?”
Maverick waved him off. “It can wait until after your trip. Just some estate planning and whatnot, I know the four of us are in a really good place, so figured it was a good time.”
Estate planning? The four of us? The whole family was involved? Bradley’s curiosity was most definitely piqued. 
“Oh, err yeah, sounds good -”
“It’s nothing bad - promise!” he quickly backpedaled, “More paperwork than anything -”
“What’re you ladies gossiping about?” Amelia breezed onto the patio and messed up Bradley’s hair before she plopped down on the other end of the sofa. Naturally, he in turn had to elbow her in the side. Not hard, mind you, but hard enough for her to kick him back. 
“We were actually just talking about the dance coming up next Friday,” Maverick replied smoothly and Bradley stifled a snort. Since when had he become such a good liar? Regardless, Amelia preened. “I was just about to tell Bradley about your date…”
“What?!” Bradley exclaimed.
Amelia pouted, clearly put off that it had been brought up in front of him. He liked Amelia, he was protective of her, fucking shoot him. “Mav likes him!”
Maverick slightly cowed under Bradley and Amelia’s stares. “He’s nice, they’re on the debate team together.”
“Debate team?!” Alright, now he was putting it on a little bit, but as someone who had also been on the debate team in high school, Bradley knew that those guys were also smart, which generally meant they were way more trouble than the typical jocks.
Clearly misconstruing his comment, Amelia frowned. “Listen, I know you were rocking the middle part and puka shell necklace when you were on the debate team, but it’s cool now…”
“Puka shell necklace?” your voice chimed in from the doorway. “Pete never mentioned that when he was telling me of your high school heroics.”
Bradley’s cheeks colored. “Yeah, well, it was the late 90s and I thought Pacey Witter was cool.”
“The 1990s!” Amelia feigned hysterics and got a chuckle out of you and Maverick. “Next you’re going to be talking about where you were on 9/11 -”
“I was in kindergarten, we couldn’t go outside for recess,” you teased.
You sat yourself between Bradley and Amelia on the sofa and he threw his arm over your shoulders, pulling you closer. He knew you’d get cold soon, but didn’t want you to run inside to get your jacket or a sweatshirt just yet - he just wanted you beside him. Plus, there was also the fear that you’d get one of Maverick’s sweatshirts from inside if you forwent your jean jacket and that just wouldn’t do.
Amelia groaned, but still turned her attention back on you. “Okay, but you were definitely Joey Potter, breaking hearts left and right. No debate captains for you.” She stuck her tongue out at Bradley for good measure.
“Ha, I wish. No, I was actually kind of lame in high school, very angsty.” Bradley knew why, but Maverick and the Benjamins were still in the dark.
“Really?” Amelia frowned. 
It was easy to understand her confusion since you were just about the coolest person she knew - her words. Amelia had told Bradley so the first night he’d brought you over for dinner. Can you ask her where she got her sneakers? A couple weeks later, you and Bradley had gotten Amelia the very same sneakers for her birthday. She always blushed when you wore them at the same time.
So, the next words out of your mouth clearly surprised her. “Oh, yeah, I was knee deep in Mazzy Star and Vampire Weekend. The dark preppy vibe, if that’s even a thing?”
“Jesus, I wasn’t even that bad.” Bradley squeezed your shoulder and got a smile out of you with his teasing.
Maverick and Penny were talking off on their own, so you turned your full attention towards Amelia. “I was in a car accident my junior year of high school. Kind of set me back with school and then - well, private school kids are kind of vicious so…” 
“What happened? Sorry - that was -”
“- It’s oka -,” you started to say, then seemed to think better of it. Because nothing about that night had been okay. “I was in a car with someone and we got t-boned. I got pretty banged up, broke my right arm and leg. It seemed like I had a perpetual concussion for the next six months. He just broke his arm,” you finished wryly. 
He. 
He just broke his arm.
Bradley pursed his lips at the mention of Teddy Cavanaugh. Fucking prick. To say you’d gotten pretty banged up was putting it way too mildly. Thinking about it again made him just as upset as it had that night all those months ago on your fourth date when you’d told him the entire story. 
And more recently, Bradley had had the unfortunate experience of meeting Teddy over Thanksgiving when Bradley had played golf with your dad one afternoon up in Berkeley. As a rule, Bradley tried not to hate people on sight - at least not anymore. 
But god, he really fucking hated Teddy Cavanaugh. He wanted to fucking deck him on the first tee at Claremont Country Club. He wanted to slam his nine-iron into the Porsche 911 he was driving. And Bradley was pretty sure your dad did too. 
It was such a cunty move to get the same car.
Plus, what self respecting twenty-nine year old still went by Teddy anyway?
But the truth of what happened that night wasn’t exactly appropriate for a post dinner conversation, nevermind the fact that Amelia was only a year younger than you had been that night. 
The realization made Bradley freeze. 
You had only been a year older than Amelia when it happened. Amelia, who still slept with the stuffed cow her grandparents had gotten her for her sixth birthday. Amelia, who still played with her American Girl Dolls when she didn’t get invited to a friend’s house on Friday nights. Amelia, who still made Bradley a new welcome home banner after every deployment. Amelia, who still huffed whenever Bradley ruffled her hair as a hello. Amelia, who Bradley promised he’d teach how to drive that spring.
You were Amelia. You had been that young, that sweet, that trusting and Teddy Cavanaugh had thrown it all back in your face.
Bradley could feel his chest tighten, even as he ignored the chatter around him. Maverick and Penny had joined in whatever conversation you were now having with Amelia, but all Bradley could do was sit there. 
Without a word, he pulled you closer, so you were bundled up in his arms. It was still proper enough in front of his family, but he needed to have you close. Your legs were plastered together alongside Bradley’s right side and you burrowed yourself under the arm he draped across your shoulders. 
Everything was right as it should be. Bradley was with his family, Bradley was with you, here. Not on a carrier in the middle of the Pacific or the passenger seat of Mr. Cavanaugh’s Porsche. 
Here. And nothing bad was going to happen here.  
Soon, the conversation changed to whichever HBO show Amelia and Maverick were excited to watch later that night, while Penny went inside to get the dessert: s’mores. 
“‘You need any help?”
Penny waved you off. “I’m all set, everything’s already measured out.”
Once she was gone, Bradley pressed a light kiss to your shoulder and you shivered. “‘You getting cold, kid?” You nodded. “‘You want my sweatshirt?” 
“Please?”
“I’ve got one in the mudroom if -” 
“No, it’s fine,” Bradley cut off Maverick, “she can have mine.”
Quickly taking off his own sweatshirt and putting it over your head, Bradley didn’t even have the time to linger on how pathetic he sounded. Who did Maverick think he was, offering to let Bradley’s girlfriend borrow a sweatshirt? Didn’t he realize Bradley was more than capable of taking care of you?
“Thanks.” You smiled at him, now cozy and wrapped up in the still warm sweatshirt and Bradley nearly forgot why he had gotten so huffy in the first place. Nearly. 
“So,” Penny popped back out onto the patio with a heaping tray of marshmallows, a bowl of chocolate squares, and stacks of graham crackers, “who wants s’mores?”
“Me, me!” Amelia called, pushing her way towards the tray and subsequently dishing out the marshmallow sticks. 
Little shit gave Bradley the worst one, even knowing Maverick wouldn’t have any and therefore didn’t need one. As payback, he kept putting his marshmallow wherever Amelia’s was. It meant that he didn’t roast a single good marshmallow, but the glare she kept sending him was too funny to make him stop. 
Eventually, after Bradley had to blow out yet another marshmallow - Oh, shit! Not again! - you took over s’more duties. Just as well, really; yours were the best. You turned marshmallow roasting into an art form - a perfectly golden, gooey art form. While you didn’t eat any with graham crackers, you did have one you roasted over the fire with the chocolate already stuffed in the marshmallow. You smiled at Bradley’s shocked expression and then wordlessly made him three exactly like it.
All the while, you answered Penny’s questions about how your dad and Mary were doing and when they were next coming down to San Diego and if they would want to get dinner with her and Pete, just the four of them? But when you started nodding off against Bradley’s shoulder, he knew it was time for you both to head home. 
-------------
Mon, March 22, 1:43pm
How was your meeting? 
it was fine, but ran over and i didn’t get to have lunch before my one o’clock ☹️
At least have a snack or something, don’t want you wasting away on me, kid. 
i won’t! what’re you up to?
Stopped by the base for a bit, saw the guys and then went to the gym.
I might get a haircut later. 
you can’t get a haircut without me! i don’t trust you not to get it too short! plus i like it a little longer 
Oh yeah? 
i like when it gets curly at the ends, it’s always really soft too. can you wait till after the trip?  please bradley please?
Fine, but only because you begged me…
i’ll make it up to you later, promise and i did not beg you…
Or you could make it up to me now?
Is the office busy today?
no  it’s pretty quiet
You wore that navy skirt, right?
yeah with my white silk blouse 
What’d you wear underneath it?
bradley! i don’t know, boring underwear? 
You wanna show me? Just to check?
you can see when i get home, i’ll even try and sneak out a little early 
Wanna see now
Show me
fine, just give me a sec. i’ll go to the bathroom 
No
At your desk
Now
bradley!
Sweetheart I’m aching
[image: Mr. 7.5 Gs]
fuck holy shit bubs what were you doing before you texted me?
Jerking off, I’m bored
charming
Wanna be inside you
fuck bradley wish i was home to take care of you god you’re so pretty hold on
Keep thinking about you in your office, acting all proper and then I’d barge in and fuck you on that fancy desk of yours
[image: miss ‘the one day i’m wearing plain underwear’]
God such a good girl for me
Are you wet
mmmm  getting there this is so hot unless i get fired
I’d bend you over
Take you from behind
You’re always tighter that way
[Sent with Siri]
bradley
Need your mouth on me
I’d make you get on your knees and suck me off in front of the window
Fuck your throat
[Sent with Siri] 
bradley you’re not playing fair
No you’re not
Need more pictures of you
[Sent with Siri]
What do you want me to do? [Sent with Siri]
Shove your fingers up your cunt
Knuckle deep
[Sent with Siri]
I’d have to use three to feel like yours [Sent with Siri]
Need a video need to hear you too
[Sent with Siri]
[for bradley’s eyes only.mov]
Fuck you’re fucking gorgeous like that 
Always do just what I ask 
Fuck I need you so bad 
[Sent with Siri]
Need you too fuck [Sent with Siri] i can’t believe you got me to do that at work
When are you coming home? 
-------------
There was something up with you. The thought kept running through Bradley’s head Tuesday evening while he was on his run.
Bradley would never have described you as skittish, but that’s how you had been acting over the last couple days. You were still affectionate and kind and you. And had told him countless times how much you loved him and how happy you were that he was home. 
So, it had to be a physical thing. You were guarded whenever he touched you - whether you were being sexually intimate or he had just grabbed your waist to cuddle you closer on the couch or in bed. It was always your waist or stomach area, really. That was the hot spot.
At first, Bradley thought he’d been too rough with you that first time back, but he knew you trusted him enough to tell him if that was the case, so that was out. Plus, later that morning when you were riding him, you’d asked him to grab your hips so hard he’d leave behind marks. You liked whenever he marked you - and he liked whenever you marked him. And you weren’t shying away from sex with him, not at all. In fact, you were pretty insatiable.
Then, he’d thought you might have hurt yourself while he had been gone and had a scar or something that you hadn’t wanted him to see? But your skin was free of new blemishes, baring the zit on your cheek you’d been complaining about since Saturday night. 
At one point, Bradley had even contemplated that you might be pregnant. He had been gone for three months, an entire first trimester. But something about the theory didn’t sit right with him. 
First, you would’ve fucking told him on Friday night, especially after you both talked about waiting to have kids and how you were on the same page. Because Bradley wasn’t dying in an F-18 with a family at home. 
Then, there was the fact that you had an IUD and the possibility of getting pregnant on an IUD was even less than on the pill (<1% a year - he’d looked it up). And finally, you’d be showing by now, even if only a little bump. But now that he thought about it, in all the days that he’d been home and all the times you’d had sex, Bradley had only seen you completely naked once. One or both of you were always partially clothed. And he would have noticed - right? Your boobs were definitely bigger, but it wasn’t - that wasn’t it, no, he was sure you weren’t pregnant.
It had to be something about your body, your stomach in particular. Because you were still affectionate, still wanted him, were still relatively yourself, your boobs looked great, and you loved him. So, why did you practically jump out of your skin whenever Bradley’s hand grazed your stomach? 
He would give you until Friday to tell him on your own before he asked. That would be a week from when he’d gotten home, more than enough time. Plus, maybe being on vacation would get you to open up a bit? 
Because this just wasn’t you. You didn’t really keep any secrets from Bradley. He wouldn’t be so naive to say that he knew everything about you, but in general you were honest with him. Was there a hint in one of your emails? Some little detail he had glossed over in his haste to read any scrap of news from you, in your voice? Bradley had read all of them at least three times, some even more, but maybe he had missed something?
The run he’d gone on to clear his head left the problem no more clear than when he’d set off forty-five minutes ago. He ran up the back steps to the mudroom and toed off his sneakers before heading to the kitchen for a glass of water. You’d be home soon, he needed to start dinner.
Last night, you’d marinated some steak tips and made some rice pilaf, while Bradley roasted some vegetables. There was plenty of leftover steak for dinner tonight, he just had to decide what to make with it. Taking a peek in the fridge, he took a quick inventory of anything you’d need to finish before leaving Thursday morning. A couple peppers laid in the crisper along with an eggplant, which stumped him as neither of you liked eggplant. He could do steak fajitas with those? There were always fresh tortillas around. Content with his plan, Bradley grabbed a bottle of Pellegrino from the side door and poured himself a glass. 
As he put the bottle back, his eyes landed on the chocolate cake, perfectly ensconced in glass snapware, on the top shelf. How the hell was there still leftover chocolate cake? In addition to what you’d had Friday night, the two of you had had some for breakfast Sunday morning - well, Bradley had had some for breakfast Sunday morning and you’d let him feed you a couple bites. He shut the fridge door with a little more force than necessary and started prepping the peppers and onions. 
You loved chocolate cake. And you’d worked so hard on it. Why the fuck weren’t you eating it? Plus, now that he really thought about it, you’d barely had a s’more at Maverick and Penny’s and instead kept yourself occupied by lovingly making Bradley’s for him. And then there were the egg whites.
It would be a lie to say that none of it had seemed off at the time, but looking at all the incidents together just showed how truly off things were. And then coupled with how off you were with other things like your clothes and stomach - oh. 
No way. No fucking way. That could not be it. 
No, no. You couldn’t be worried about how - 
Just as he was finishing up the peppers to go along with the onions he’d already prepped, Bradley heard the back door open.
“Bubs?” you called out, “I’m home!”
“Hey!” 
“How was your run?”
Bradley quickly washed his hands and went over to meet you in the mudroom. And there you were, looking polished and professional in a black tweed, sleeveless dress that he hadn’t gotten a glimpse at before you’d left for work that morning, thanks to the blazer you’d thrown over it. The bodice of the dress was decorated with what he hoped were functional gold buttons that were just begging to be ripped open. And to top it off, you were wearing semi sheer black tights and those black slingbacks he liked so much. 
Actually, you were leaning against the wall trying to unbuckle those slingbacks he liked so much. But all Bradley could focus on as you asked him about his afternoon was the curve of your hip and the fact that your breasts looked unreal in that dress.
His pretty girlfriend. His pretty girlfriend who looked so smart and absolutely fuckable right now. His. His. His. His -
You stopped trying to take off your shoes and shot him a questioning look as you approached. “Bradley?”
“Sorry, I uhh - yeah, it was fine. Saw the Thompsons finished their patio - is that a new dress?” His fingers idly brushed against the fabric and you froze. 
“Oh, uh, no. I’ve had it for a while. Since the move, I’ve been going through my clothes trying to see what I actually wear and - I know it’s a little small now, it keeps riding up my hips a bit, but I still think it looks nice on top…” You ventured out of the mudroom. “Does it look bad?”
No, it very much did not look bad on you. It was definitely tighter than anything you normally wore to work, but it looked good. And weary from the work day with your hair a little mussed and the dress a bit askew from when you tried to take off your shoes, you looked absolutely divine and Bradley had to have you immediately. 
“No! I’m just,” he goaded you further into the kitchen, “surprised you wore it to work - in a good way!” 
The shy look on your face gradually slipped away and you crowded into Bradley’s space. “In a good way, huh?”
His hands found their way to your waist and he waited for a reaction from you. Getting nothing but a smile, his thumbs rubbed circles along your hips and he brought you chest to chest. 
“I gotta ask, though?” You hummed. “Do these really work?” He dragged his fingers up and down the front of your dress, spending the slightest bit more time along the square neckline and your breasts.
“And what if they did?”
Bradley groaned your name and rested his forehead against yours. “Then I’d have to unbutton every last one of them right now.”
You kissed his neck, paying no mind to the stubble he had been growing since Friday night. If you’d asked, he would shave it in a second, but you loved the roughness against your neck and inner thighs. As your lips kept up their targeted attack on his neck and jawline, your right hand slid between your bodies to palm his cock through his athletic shorts. 
“But if you did that, then you’d have to take me right here…”
Barely a beat passed before Bradley grabbed your hips and plopped you down on the kitchen table. It shook under your weight. Your chest was heaving at the sudden action, in turn drawing his attention to your breasts and those tempting buttons. They reminded him of the ones on his old Naval dress coat from Oceana. 
“Lemme help you out there.” 
His nimble fingers made quick work of the four brass buttons that revealed your black lace bra. Out of the corner of his eye, he could tell you were pleased he didn’t tear off any of the buttons. Knowing you, his spoiled, prissy girlfriend, the dress was probably expensive. Good.
Next, Bradley pushed the wide straps over your shoulders, leaving your black lace bra as his final impediment. “So pretty,” he muttered into your chest. Your head tipped back and you pulled him closer, deeper.
“You didn’t send me any texts today,” you barely got the words out as Bradley made quick work popping one of your breasts, then the other, out of your bra. It was technically a lie; he had texted you, but it had been a do you know where my Theragun is text, not a show me your pussy right now text. “I even wore pretty underwear for you.”
Bradley tutted against your left breast. “Guess I have to make it up to you now.” 
His mouth latched onto your nipple and he needled the little nub with his tongue. You carded your fingers through his hair and gave the ends the slightest little tug. 
“Thought about you all day, bubs,” you whispered the words against Bradley’s ear before nipping at the lobe. 
“Yeah?” Granted, if you kept rutting against each other like this, he’d probably cum in his shorts - there really wasn’t a lot of substance to the running shorts he was wearing - but god. He needed to sink inside you. 
Today was the first time since he’d gotten home that you hadn’t fucked in the morning. You had had to hustle out of the house for an early meeting and even Bradley had an eight-thirty physical at the Naval Medical Center. There had barely been time for a heated makeout against the refrigerator - to say nothing of a good fuck - before you’d left with your lip gloss slightly mussed.
“Would’ve come home sooner if I knew you were wearing these fucking shorts.” You slipped your hand under the waistband of his compression shorts that were borderline painful at this point and grabbed his cock with an expert touch. 
“Fuck…” Bradley allowed your touches to go on for a few more moments before he pulled back, knowing he’d spend in your hand if you kept this up. “Hold on.” You pulled your hand back and he yanked his t-shirt off over his head and threw it on the breakfast bench. Your hands crept across his chest before they eventually rested on his shoulders. 
But now it was Bradley’s turn to touch you. Your tights felt particularly soft beneath his hands as he inched higher and higher up your thighs. He loved when you wore stuff like this, so prim and proper. Especially when you got all squirmy beneath him. Cheeky little thing. The heat was pouring off you where Bradley was touching you between your thighs, even though your underwear and tights. Your arms wound around his neck to pull him closer and press your lips to his in a bruising kiss. God, he could kiss you for hours; he never tired of it.
“Bradley…” you sighed through his ministrations. “More, bubs.” 
He smiled, of course, anything for you. Anything to be inside you. But first, he had to ask: “These the thick ones?” You froze under him. “The tights? The thick tights? Like from Thanksgiving?” 
They had a more formal name, but he was focused on other things at the moment, namely if he could rip a hole in them to get to you faster. Over Thanksgiving, he’d found out the hard way that your tights were often rip resistant. Which really put a damper on a portion of your wine cellar escapades. 
“Oh?” The furrow between your eyebrows disappeared. “Oh! The tights! No, no, they’re cheap ones from J Crew or something.”
Good. Then he wasn’t going to apologize for what he was about to do. Because Bradley had to fuck you, he had to be inside you right now. Something about you and being off and those tights and that dress and his run and the subsequent endorphin rush. 
He had to have you.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Bradley tugged at the seam of your tights and ripped a hole in them large enough for his hands - and his dick - to poke through. You sighed when he broke through the nylon and slid your panties to the side to circle your clit with his thumb.
“So good,” he muttered reverently. 
God, what a pretty picture you made. Dress rucked up around your stomach, chest bare, and pretty pussy on display just for him. 
“More, please, Bradley.” You whimpered while he teased you with one finger, then two. “Anything. Need it - you.”
“You get stressed out at work today?” You nodded and then burrowed your head against his neck, rubbing against him like a cat in heat. “Poor thing, da - I’ll take care of you, yeah. Make you forget.” 
Bradley thrusted his fingers deeper inside you, crooking them just slightly so you’d buck up against him. You bit his neck when he tweaked his fingers just right. There you go, just a little more and you’d be ready for him. God, he was aching. He couldn’t fathom teasing you anymore. He needed you, now. 
“Just need to slip inside you, sweetheart. You made it so perfect for me.” Wet. Hot. Tight. Perfect. His. “There we go, just like that, good girl.” Bradley took a moment to line his cock up and slid inside you in one motion. “Fuck,” he punctuated the word with your name, “good?”
“Yes, yes.” 
You got into a steady rhythm that kept increasing. The table creaked under your combined weight and had anything been on it, it surely would’ve toppled over by now. 
You tightened around his cock and met his hips thrust for thrust. A wave of heat swept over Bradley’s body and he could feel you slipping deeper into a lustful haze. Knowing he was also close and would be near useless in moments, he hiked your left leg higher up on his hip so your heel was digging into the back of his thigh, anchoring you to him. 
“That’s it, that’s it,” Bradley said mindlessly. 
Your faces were so close, you were breathing each other’s air, stealing the word’s off the other’s lips. Yours and mine are the same. You cried out suddenly and snapped your eyes up to meet Bradley’s brown ones. God, you were beautiful. You both were beautiful. This was beautiful. Being together like this was beautiful. It was wet and loud and messy, but it was beautiful. 
Everything about it.
“‘m so close,” he finished with your name on his lips like a plea. “Wanna wait for you.”
“Don’t, ‘ll be right there.”
His thrusts eventually got sloppier and slower, but he could still feel you clenching around him as he spent himself inside you. 
“Fuck,” he panted your name. “That’s it, that’s it.”
“‘s full, bubs.” Your nails dug into his shoulder, centering him so he could turn the focus back on you.
All he needed was a few more shallow thrusts and a punch of your clit to get you there alongside him. You came with a cry, utterly spent, but sated. 
Your legs relaxed their hold against his thighs, but you didn’t totally release him. Meanwhile, he pressed kisses across your cheeks and lips, before finding himself notched along your neck. 
“There you go, good girl. Did such a good job, huh. So beautiful.”
It was quiet between the two of you for a few moments, all Bradley could hear was your breaths panting against his cheek, while your index finger moved lazily across his shoulder blade. But then you started shaking. 
And at first he thought it was from being overstimulated until he realized you were shaking from silent giggles. Bradley picked his head up from where it was buried in your neck and leveled you with a look that had you properly bursting into laughter. He wanted to make some smart comment, something cheeky, but the gorgeous smile on your face had him losing his feigned stoicism and he started laughing right alongside you. 
“So,” you said after your laughter subsided, “what’s for dinner, bubs?”
--------------
The following morning, Bradley poked his head into the dining room where you’d made up your office for the day. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask why you weren’t using the office upstairs, but he held back. He liked that you were downstairs, he liked that you were close to him. 
Of course he’d seen you work from home before. But there was something about seeing you holding meetings and taking calls for the first time in your home that made him smile. 
And though you were taking a half day to prepare for leaving tomorrow, Bradley knew you’d be checking your email and Slack for the rest of the afternoon before officially logging off for the next 10 days. 
10 days in Punta Mita - just the two of you, no distractions, no emails, no training runs, nothing but the sun, sea, sustenance, sleep, and sex. 
Just you and me, kid.
Bradley inched further into the room and leaned against the doorframe. “I’m gonna go for a run, but should be back for lunch.”
You took out your Airpods before responding. “Sounds good, how much are you thinking?”
“Probably a quick 10k?” It had been ages since Bradley had run his usual route through Balboa Park, so these last few days had been a treat.
“‘A quick 10k,’ he says. I should be done by the time you get back?” He nodded. “We can have lunch and then I’ll head out on my errands.”
Errands? “Oh? I didn’t know you were going out?”
You sat up straighter and fully focused on him. “Yeah, I have to get my nails done and then have to pick up a couple things - like your special sunscreen...”
“Can I come?” he asked, completely ignoring the sunscreen comment. It wasn’t special per se, it was just high SPF since he burned easily. 
“Really?” You sounded surprised. “It’ll be pretty boring.”
“No, I wanna come with you.” I wanna spend time with you. 
A bashful smile appeared on your face. “Okay, I’m trying a new salon.”
“Ditching your old stomping grounds?” Bradley asked, referencing your old neighborhood near Gaslamp. 
You nodded your head. “Figured I’d try someplace around here, but the only one that looks promising is way up on 30th?”
“I think we can make due with that,” he pecked your cheek, “alright, I’ll see you in a bit, kid. Don’t work too hard.”
“Har, har, see you soon.”
Bradley shot you a wink and set off. Who knew, maybe he’d set a new PR in his haste to get back home to you?
And sure enough, after his quick 10k through Balboa Park and the surrounding neighborhood, Bradley bounded up the back steps and quickly disposed of his sneakers and his sweat stained grey t-shirt on the mudroom floor. It had been stupid to even wear one in the first place, he’d had to tuck it into his waistband before he hit the first half mile. 
“New personal record!” 
Your face lit up with a smile as Bradley came into the dining room. “See, now, how do I know you just didn’t milk a 3 mile run or something?”
He rolled his eyes and gestured down at his torso, which was gleaming with sweat, even in the soft mid-day lighting currently cloaking the dining room, and showed you his running app for good measure. “Does this look like I milked it?”
“Come ‘ere.” You held your arms out.
“I’m all sweaty, kid…”
“Nope, don’t care, please?”
Hey, if you weren’t going to complain that Bradley was too sweaty or smelled, then he wasn’t about to put you off. He wrapped his arms around you over the back of the chair and put his chin on the top of your head.
“You know, if you like the scent of someone’s sweat that means you’re soulmates…” 
“Is that right?” You sounded amused.
Bradley burrowed his face in your neck, forcing a giggle out of you even before he pressed butterfly kisses everywhere. “Mmmhhmm, yup. You always smell perfect.” 
“That’s just my perfume!” 
“Nope, just you kid.” 
Bradley could feel you relax and let out a sigh. The two of you sat there in silence for a moment, content to just be with each other, until your Mac dinged with an Outlook notification. You stretched your arms out in front of you to reply to the email, but Bradley didn’t let you go. As he watched you type out a response to your coworker about if ESG investments were just virtue signaling or not, his eyes caught a glint of gold on your wrist.
“You really wear that bracelet everyday, huh?”
You turned your head to look up at him and he was pleased to note you looked incredibly flustered. “Of course I do. You got it for me.”
The matter of fact way you responded had him blushing. “Guess I’ll have to get you the necklace for your birthday…”
“You better not!” He just kissed your cheek. “Bradley, I’m serious! That’s too much - especially for just a birthday.”
“Then I’ll get it for you for our anniversary.”
“Bubs…” You were pouting now and it only made him want to get you the necklace more. “It’s too expensive for something like that; I looked it up online.”
“You’re no fun.” 
And so he would continue to be denied the pleasure of seeing you in the matching jewelry - at least until he wore you down. You did have a point, though - the necklace was almost twice as much as the bracelet. But then again, you bought Bradley little (and not so little) things all the time?
Idly, he recalled the jibe he had ignored from Hangman the other day regarding his leave: not all of us have rich girlfriends to take us on two week vacations. Bradley’s reply that it was only for ten days, not two weeks hadn’t exactly done him any favors. 
But it was a points game! It was practically free. (He knew it wasn’t, but…) And you were going dutch for all the incidentals and room charges. It was going to be perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect. 
Ten glorious days of no work, no distractions, just the two of you. 
You turned around in your chair so you were properly facing him. “Do you want to get lunch out? Make an afternoon of it? We don’t really have much in the fridge, so it’s either lunch or dinner out and I know you still have to pack.”
A smile crept across his face and he kissed your nose. “I’d love to go to lunch with you. You sure you won’t get sick of me? All this one on one time?”
You just shook your head. “Nope, not that easily. Well, unless you sit next to me at the salon, I’m not very chatty while I’m getting a pedicure.”
“Woah, woah.” Bradley held his hands up and you grabbed one to examine it. “Since when am I getting my nails done?”
“You’re getting a pedicure at the very least. I don’t want to have to look at your weird feet on the beach all week.” 
“Oh-ho, now you’ve done it.” 
He bundled you up in his arms and started tickling your sides. That was your sweet spot. And hopefully if he was tickling you, you’d forget to be jumpy when he touched you there. He hadn’t forgotten about that.
“Bradley! Bradley,” you giggled. “Okay, okay, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. No pedicure.”
But Bradley did end up getting a pedicure, even if it only entailed getting his feet buffed. If pressed, he would say it was because he wanted to sit in the massage chair and the nail tech told him he could only sit in the chair if he was getting his nails done. That was the only reason why. It wasn’t because of how pretty you looked while you were smiling at him out of the corner of his eye, like you couldn’t believe he was really there.  
Absolutely not.
--------------
“Do you need any help packing?” 
Bradley nodded, he hoped he didn’t look too sheepish. At thirty-six years old, he absolutely could pack his own clothes, but he liked when you fussed over him and made sure your clothing was complementary to each other. It was sweet. Plus, you always packed stuff he hadn’t thought to bring or wear together.
The two of you were a well oiled machine. Bradley would roll his underwear, pajamas, and gym clothes into his packing cubes while you helped pick out his bathing suits and later his dinner and day clothes. To his great surprise, you managed to fit all his clothes - for ten days, mind you - into his Samsonite carryon. His toiletries and extra pair of shoes and other incidentals would go in his backpack.
Once his suitcase was zipped up and ready to go, Bradley nodded towards your Rimowa stashed by the bedroom door. “‘You need any help? You don’t normally check?”
You normally lived by the carry-on rule, so it seemed out of character for you to check a full-size bag. Which, of course, wasn’t the first thing that seemed out of character for you since Bradley had gotten home. But he promised himself he’d wait until you came to him with your problem. Or till Friday.
“Oh, uhh, yeah, I guess I just have more stuff this time.” You shook your head. “I packed earlier while you were taking a nap, but thanks.”
He clicked his tongue. “Guess it’ll be a surprise then.”
“Hmmm, I’ll let you see my shoes?”
Bradley sat on the edge of the bed and leaned back on his elbows. “You’d do that? For me?”
You giggled and then mimicked his pose on the bed, except you made sure to snuggle up next to him, all earlier awkwardness gone. “I’d do anything for you actually.”
“Sap.” He kissed you. 
“Nerd.” You kissed him. 
“See, now you’re killing the vibe,” he teased. You giggled and kissed his shoulder through his t-shirt. “You ready for tomorrow?” You nodded. “You’re not gonna get sick of me, right?”
You shook your head. “Never, even if you are a nerd who gets pedicures -”
“- I was coerced! The massage chair!” You giggled. “Alright, alright, walk me through tomorrow.”
At this point, Bradley was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, while you were tucked under his arm, peering up at him. 
“We should leave by six if our flight’s at eight forty-five, especially if we want to go to the lounge beforehand. It’s spring break-ish and I’m not sure if it’ll be crazy in the terminal, so the lounge might be a good idea.”
“Got it, United lounge for breakfast, good.” 
“Flight’s like three hours.”
“Mmmmm, perfect for a nap.”
You chuckled. “I think we get in around one o’clock with the time difference and everything. The hotel’s sending a car and then it’s like an hour drive to Punta Mita.”
“So, if we play our cards right, we could be on the beach by three-o-one?”
“Oh, for sure,” you feigned seriousness, “If anyone can, it’s the two of us.”
And ain’t that the truth? Bradley held his hand up for a high five, which you heartily returned. “Nice job, kid. It’s gonna be great.”
Ten days. You and Bradley at some tony resort in Mexico. No cares, no worries for ten whole days. Fucking perfect. 
Everything was going to be perfect.
-----------
If at all possible, in the three months that he had been gone, Bradley had gotten even more handsome. 
Sure, you’d seen a grainy image of him every two or so weeks over Facetime and had noticed him mentioning going to the gym a lot on the carrier. You’d known he was going to look different. His hair was going to be longer and blonder and his skin darker. He was still your Bradley and you loved him all the same. 
But seeing him on the 16 inch screen of your Macbook compared to all six foot one inches of Bradley Bradshaw in person was an eye opener. 
Because you hadn’t been prepared for how it made you feel in comparison. Because he was so strong and fit and beautiful - and you didn’t think you were any of those things. Not anymore at least. Not after what happened.
Not after how often you’d been skipping pilates to spend some extra time in the office or all the meals you’d eaten on the go or out with clients. You should have taken your mother’s words to heart at lunch two weeks ago when she had told you to watch your figure, boys like Bradley are used to certain standards. 
That afternoon when you’d gotten back to your apartment, you’d gone straight to your walk-in closet and scrutinized every inch of your body in the full length mirror. 
Certain standards.
Why did you let her get in your head? Why did you let any of it get in your head? It wasn’t true, it wasn’t true. None of it was true. 
Certain standards. 
And then, when you finally picked Bradley up on that cloudy, late March day, you wore an oxford of his and a pair of baggy jeans. You still looked cute, you still looked like you put in an effort, but you didn’t look as dolled up as some of the other wives and girlfriends and partners and maybe you should have? Maybe you should have worn a cute little sundress and forgotten your underwear or some other ridiculous thing? Let him fuck you in the back of the car right in the middle of the parking lot? 
That wasn’t you, though. That wasn’t either of you.
But Bradley loved you. He had told you in about 159 different ways (re. emails) while he was gone. He loved you, he wanted you, he was going to live with you, build a life with you. You knew he loved you no matter what you looked like. 
Certain standards.
But when he fucked you softly and slowly that first morning back - only after originally falling asleep on you, which you tried not to be too upset about - and you told him how much you loved him and missed him, you did so with the lights completely off and with your chemise on before snuggling in his arms. 
It was stupid. The entire thing was stupid. You knew that. And you knew you’d feel this way until you confronted Bradley and he ultimately proved you wrong. But doing that wouldn’t fully stop those feelings from brewing inside you either. 
And yeah, for the first few days you’d been too caught up in the ecstasy of him finally being home - in the home that you two finally shared - to really give it much thought. But tomorrow you were going on a ten day long beach vacation to Mexico and you couldn’t help but toss and turn all night wondering if you were up to certain standards. 
-----------
a/n: oops! this was super long, sorry! but there's such an interesting story here and i'm so excited to show how it'll unfold in the next chapter when they're in mexico!
tagging a couple people: @sometimesanalice @withahappyrefrain @cherrycola27 @notroosterbradshaw @gigisimsonmars @pisupsala @dissonannce @laracrofted @heartsofminds @briseisgone
201 notes · View notes
naamahdarling · 2 days ago
Text
.
#i gotta go get my T bloodwork done tomorrow#which is fine but like#last time i was there the nurse was REALLY weird and they were pretty annoyed with me#because i hadn't come in for a long time#because life shit happened including breaking my ankle#and it's the same situation now but like so much fucking worse#and i don't want them to be assholes to me about it or about how i kind of miss shots quite a bit#like that's A Thing#it's a problem for me#but i don't deserve AT ALL to get scolded for it or treated like I'm doing something wrong#ugh i just have a chip on my shoulder#i know it has the potential to go fine and i am bringing backup with me#but EVERYTHING has gone wrong lately!#and if this goes wrong there is every chance it'll drive me to getting the stuff online and not getting bloodwork AT ALL#and I want to tell them that but I feel like they'd just be shitty about it because ultimately they may be an inclusive clinic#but they are still medical professionals and gatekeepers at heart and you can't trust medpros and gatekeepers further than you can spit#idk man I'm an adult just leave me alone to do my thing and accept that I will be in once a year for sure but no promises on more than that#i'm tired in advance#idk i just got the feeling last time that they were accusing me of getting my T illicitly and it's like bitch im not but even if i was#aren't you supposed to be a place people can be honest about their situations? am i not here jumping through your hoops to do it legally?#im doing what you wanted but the thing is I DON'T HAVE TO and if you keep acting weird im going to have to STOP#because i don't have energy to deal with my disintegrating life AND gatekeeping judgy bullshit#do cis men have to dance like this?
43 notes · View notes
airybcby · 1 day ago
Note
How about hiori with 🫐 and 🍫
i love hiori omg
a hiori yo chocolate blueberry
Tumblr media
જ⁀♡⊹。° something about you
♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event !
♡ content — hiori yo x gn! reader, gn! reader, one bed trope, reader has slight feelings for hiori, hiori's sadism mentioned like once, talk of hiori playing pro, some cuddle moments, awkward kinda, not my best but i fear idk how to write for hiori well
♡ synopsis — Living with the resident ' nice guy ' , hiori yo, for this simulation was supposed to be good for you...until you're faced with any strangers sharing a space's worst nightmare... a singular bed
Tumblr media
The apartment was... cozy. That was one way to describe it. Small but clean, with just enough space for the both of you. The only glaring problem was the single bed that sat against the far wall.
Hiori noticed it first, freezing mid-step as his gaze locked onto it. His lips pressed into a thin line, and he glanced at you, his blue eyes uncertain.
“There’s only one bed,” he said softly, as if you hadn’t already seen it.
You shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “It’s fine. You can take it.”
His head snapped toward you, his brows furrowing. “No way. You take it.”
“Hiori, it’s not a big deal—”
“It is to me,” he insisted, his voice uncharacteristically firm. “I’ll take the couch.”
You looked at the small, uncomfortable couch in question, your heart twisting. You knew him well enough to understand why he was being so stubborn. Hiori had always been the type to put others first, even at his own expense.
“I’m not letting you sleep on that,” you said, crossing your arms. “We’re both mature. We can share the bed. It’s just sleeping.”
He hesitated, clearly torn. But after a long moment, he sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “Alright. But I’m staying on my side.”
The first night went without incident. Hiori was almost annoyingly still as he slept, his back turned to you, his arms tucked rigidly at his sides.
The second night, though, he loosened up—or at least that’s what you told yourself when you woke up to find him lying on his back, his hand resting near yours.
“I didn’t cross the line,” he said as soon as he noticed you were awake, his voice light but his gaze serious.
“I didn’t say you did,” you replied, though your heart was racing.
The days passed, and despite the awkwardness, you settled into a routine. Hiori would tease you endlessly, but there was a tenderness beneath it that made your chest ache.
“This isn’t weird for you?” you asked one night as you lay side by side, staring at the ceiling.
“What?” he replied, his voice soft in the dark.
“Sharing a bed. Being here. With me.”
He was silent for a moment, then said, “No. Is it weird for you?”
You hesitated. “No. I guess not.”
“Good,” he said simply, and that was the end of it—or so you thought.
The moment it all came crashing down was during the final week of the simulation.
You woke up one morning to find Hiori’s arm draped over your waist, his face inches from yours. For a moment, you froze, your heart racing.
He stirred, his eyes fluttering open. When he realized the position you were in, he didn’t pull away immediately. Instead, he blinked at you, his expression unreadable.
“Morning,” he said finally, his voice low and raspy.
“Morning,” you whispered back, your cheeks burning.
And then, as if the weight of the moment was too much, he pulled back, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.
“Sorry,” he said, his tone back to his usual sweet tone, though his ears were red. “Guess I forgot to stay on my side.”
“It’s fine,” you said quickly, sitting up as well. “It’s not a big deal.”
But it was. You both knew it.
The next morning, he avoided your gaze entirely. The easy banter that usually filled the space between you was gone, replaced by a heavy, stifling silence.
“Hiori,” you began as you packed your things on the last day, your voice trembling.
“I’m sorry,” he said abruptly, cutting you off.
“For what?”
“For crossing a line.” He didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busy folding a shirt that didn’t need folding. “I shouldn’t have—”
“You didn’t,” you said quickly, stepping closer.
He finally looked at you then, his eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place. Regret? Longing?
“You don’t get it,” he said softly, his voice laced with frustration. “I can’t—I don’t want to hurt you.”
Hiori Yo? Hurt you? In what world would that be possible? But you didn't know him like you thought, how his brain worked, how he was just a bit of a sadist.
And, in the end, he was still an egoist, still a soccer player who's was going to play pro.
He refused to bring someone into that life when even he didn't know how it would play out.
“Hiori,” you whispered, your chest tightening.
“This was supposed to be pretend,” he continued, his gaze dropping to the floor. His usual smile still on his face, although his eyes looked sad, “But I think we both know it hasn’t felt that way.”
Your breath hitched, and for a moment, you thought he might say something else. But he just shook his head, his jaw clenched.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice barely audible.
You swallowed hard, fighting back tears. “So that’s it?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he zipped up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.
As he walked toward the door, he paused, his hand resting on the frame.
“For what it’s worth,” he said without turning around, “I wanted this. More than I should have.”
And then he was gone, leaving you alone in the quiet, empty apartment.
Tumblr media
this is so bad but i didn't wanna make him "i'm such a baby , pls help me" fanon hiori when he's a meanie but i didn't know how to make it fit the story
i hope you liked it!
likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!
63 notes · View notes
genderqueerdykes · 3 days ago
Note
Hey hello! this is probably a weird ask but I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma? when I've heard stuff like "you might gain weight going on T" it's been giving me nothing but joy for the future. Like I actively Want To Get Bigger? I'm really skinny now, and have been all my life, and I keep getting comments from people being like "woahh you're so thin I wish I was as skinny as you" and like. I feel bad for wanting to be larger? I know fat people face a LOT of problems and discrimination due to their size, and it's not like I'm not aware of that, but I'm worried this is some weird fetishizing thing I need to unpack. me wanting to be fat that is, and loving the idea of gaining weight on T. like, going from skinny hairless girl > fat hairy man is something I really really want, and is basically a transition goal atp. But I haven't said anything about this bc I'm worried this is disrespectful to fat folk or just downright gross?? idk
that is not fetishizing, you're okay, you should never be made to feel bad for wanting to be bigger, i'm so sorry people are treating you that way
they are objectifying your body and i am so sorry. your body is yours, not theirs. the thing a lot of people don't want to accept is that some people genuinely want to be larger, chubby, fat, and so on. some people genuinely want to be a weight that's higher than what's considered "normal" and that's genuinely not a problem. like i don't get how people don't understand that someone's weight impacts them and them alone. and no it doesn't impact their doctors, because doctors need to be open to working with all body types
people are so possessive and weird about body weight. people feel so entitled to each others' bodies that they will take someone else's weight gain personally. as if it's an affront to them. (or are they upset because this affects whether or not they're attracted to you...?) even people who claim to be fat liberation will get pissed off at people who want to gain weight on purpose. there's nothing wrong with gaining weight on purpose. it's not going to inherently cause health problems for you, and if it does, you can tackle that when it comes. but people are so weirdly possessive of others' bodies. like. i don't think this behavior comes from a standpoint of concern for that person's health.
we are so fucked up about weight that i genuinely think that when they see a well fed fat person they get pissed off because that can't be them. that person is too concerned about dieting and losing weight and toning up and cutting back calories and going without and skipping meals and ignoring cravings. like. it's a projection of how that person feels about their own weight. their taking out their issues about not being able to eat what they want and be the size they want. so much of this comes from internalized fatphobia. most people who get pissed off when fat people enjoy being fat and enjoy eating are people who desperately want to be able to eat what they want, too, but get mad when they see someone who's doing it because they just don't have the courage. a lot of the time it's jealousy
also keep in mind that a lot of people actually like being "overweight" "obese" and so on because they have issues with disordered eating, gastrointestinal issues, anxiety, personality disorders, cancer, chronic illness, or anything else that might lead someone to struggle to keep on weight. for some people, being fat is actually safer.
a lot of people who go on T do so with the goal in mind to be a big fat hairy guy. i was already fat, but i that was my goal as well. i wanted to stay fat. i wanted to add some muscle and then stay fat, which is what i'm doing. so many other trans guys want this. i'm sure many will speak up on this post!
anyways, i'm sorry people have made you feel like that. it's your body you get to choose what weight you feel the most comfortable at. ive never been bothered by my weight. i don't feel held back by it. this is just the weight ive been for almost my entire life. i don't care if the way i look offends someone else, i'm the one who sees me all day long, not them. i'm gonna look the way i want for me, not for anyone else. good luck anon, feel free to come back any time. you are allowed to do whatever you want with your body
41 notes · View notes
unlimited-sciuridae · 2 days ago
Note
I always talk about greed and gluttony being twin sins lol. Idk what the catholic doctrine says about them but when modernizing sins it's important to remember these sins distract you from your godly duties, from being a good community member and distract from loving God.
Gluttony is the over consumption of goods and resources. Food is the traditional one but it's taking more than your fair share- it's leaving your neighbors to go without while you have more than enough and using it up or wasting it. (Side note: some people are fat regardless of how much they eat. Over eating into a higher weight does happen but fat people have always existed if even basic calorie needs are fulfilled due to endocrine issues and/or natural weight gain tendencies. Humans come in a variety of sizes for the most likelihood for survival. It's fatphobic and boring to make gluttony fat so thats at least 1 check in the good job box) today's gluttony could be water on a golf course in a drought. It's trophy hunting for fun, it's take and use, take and waste just so no one else can have it.
Greed is hoarding. Traditionally understood as having more money while your community suffers, but ruthless capitalism is basically pure greed. It's take and keep and spend on self over community. It's a golden coin hoard to a dragon.
Neither are satisfied, always wanting to pursue more, there is no limit. Inside these two sins are the other sins to various degrees.
Wanting more and more can lead to wrath and lust and makes you envious the only one i can't reason as well into this is Sloth its kinda there depending on your defintion of Sloth. (Sloth is the neglect of duty to community and spiritual growth, sleep is uh, something of a boring representation but as an anemic person I get it. This is a cultural problem likely stemming from puritan ideas of suffering as noble and godly that the sick and hurt should suffer for God by working instead of resting to heal. Given the life or death situation they faced I kinda get it but fam we got science. Let us rest.)
And of course pride is "the father of all sins". I guess I feel like gluttony and greed are his first borns, and twins in this metaphor lol
Anyway, it's a interesting choice to make mammon and bee hate each other like they are. I understand what the set up is (bee is dating a hell hound and shouldn't tolerate species prejudice) its just a waste? I guess to explore the way they are so similar would be interesting.
Even a flashback to the two of them being close but drifting apart would satisfy me, maybe not everyone.
”gluttony isn’t just overindulgence of food, it’s also partying and bee can taste vibes and she doesn’t like mammon” that’s the whole fucking point of gluttony it’s over indulgence whether good or bad you can’t get your fill, if it’s food, sex, money or power it’s a constant hunger. I hate this fucking “good sins and bad sins” like what a boring interpretation of the seven deadly sins. Gluttony is still overindulgence and the fact mammon (only fat character) can’t overindulge without this judgy hater (who should be his bestie because they love to overindulge whether it be food, partying or money) giving him stink eyes and calling him sad lonely loser no one wants to fuck. I love Kesha so much, but I hate bee. Kesha would never fat shame or be a hater, fuck you viv
Huh, I didn’t think of that regarding sex, money, and power. Thanks Anon for the extra information. This only shows how two-faced Bee is. If Bee wasn’t a judgmental prick, her and Mammon would be a powerful force if they collaborated.
116 notes · View notes
octobobble · 3 days ago
Text
Ramble abt CobiSpek bc I think abt this ship every day. Putting it under a read more bc it’ll include game spoilers and also like idk how long it will be and it may be a lil. Incoherent. I’m insane about them
OKAY. SO. I think about CobiSpek a lot and there’s a lot in that relationship, at least to me. Like at first I was like oh that’s nice that Cobigail was so quick to reach out and invite him back into the pantheon. And then I thought more. And went crazy.
Inspekta and Cobigail are both like, stupidly lonely gods, Inspekta actively isolates himself because of his own mental issues (also Capochin not letting other bizzyboys see him but shhhhh) and Cobigail is basically forgotten. Inspekta is scared of being replaced and forgotten, that he’ll become unimportant and cast aside. All he has to do is look at Cobigail to have that confirmed as a possibility, no one has visited her in 20 years, she’s forgetting her favorite food, the harvest songs, her own domain. She’s everything he’s so scared of, and she’s coping by acting like everything is alright. Thinking about possible interactions between them makes me ill.
Because when you’re about to head into Milldread he says that he doesn’t think Cobigail’s a blood drinker. I don’t think he says that solely because he feels bad. He says that because he absolutely NEEDS to look, to feel, like he’s the good guy. He’s the hero of the story. Don’t you get it, he’s not the one in the wrong. Why would he ever call Cobigail a cannibal, that’s evil and wrong and he’d NEVER do that. The gods can talk to each other, Cobigail tells Thespius about you visiting and Inspekta gave Click Clack the letter from King. Do you think Inspekta ever visited Cobigail, assured her that he was a friend, or that he would fix this. That he would solve this problem he caused. That he would absolve her of this accusation that he made. She started to believe it. She considered the possibility of being a cannibal. And Inspekta caused that. But he’s her friend.
That’s. THATS SO MUCH TO WORK THROUGH!!! But Cobigail would understand, wouldn’t she? She was isolated for twenty years, she’d understand the desperation, wouldn’t she? Their greatest difference is that Cobigail’s reaction swings in a completely opposite direction. Inspekta is hungry, Inspekta consumes. Cobigail is starved. She acts like everything is fine, demands nothing, smiles and jokes around like she’s not in a terrible spot. I think they have a lot to talk about. I think they have a lot to work through. There’s so much potential in their dynamic, in who they are as people. The only god in Milldread and a god with no area to look over. Someone desperate to be worshipped, to be loved, to be the hero, the one that saved the day. And someone who deals with serious issues, mentally taxing situations and horrible isolation, with jokes and laughs and staying as lighthearted as she can, even while being painted as cruel and evil. They’re so sides of a coin to me.
They make me insane. Lonely people with the problems ever. Friendship, romance, something secret third thing. Who knows. Love loses.
29 notes · View notes
strang3lov3 · 2 days ago
Note
genuinely wonder what it's like to have a dick and how it feels to jerk off is it just me?
Tumblr media
Definitely not just you. If I had a cock, you guys would never see me again because I’d be very preoccupied with cranking my hog. I would love to know the sensation of jerking off my own penis but also just ya know, having that external genitalia hanging between my legs. I think I’d have back problems cuz of how massive my schlong would be though, cause I’d have to sling that fuckin’ thing over my shoulder or else I’d be a danger to myself. One misstep and I’m tripping over it and ending up in the ER getting 69 stitches across my forehead. And I’d be up to no good in such a way with my meat that there’d be a public announcement of my sterilization, I’ll tell you that much. Like an alley cat. Meeeeeow 🐾😼
I’m happy with my own equipment, though. I think us pussy-havers get the better end of the deal when it comes to orgasms and stuff, right? Don’t they tend to be more intense and last longer? Idk. Mine generally fuck. And sex toys for vulvas and vaginas are also pretty fun and creative. I wouldn’t trade my ability to get off with my cute spooky little ghost-shaped clit sucker for the world. It’s one of the sweetest little treats. Like a biiiig fountain Dr. Pepper with the good ice from the gas station.
27 notes · View notes
aimasup · 3 days ago
Note
hey wouldn't it be something if Filbrick noticed how quiet the house got after both his kids never came back, and he says 'good riddance'
wouldn't it be someth
So I was reading your post about Filbrick and I want to ask a question about this parts of the post:
"From his point of view, Filbrick just heard Stan admitting he destroyed his brother’s life, by making him lose a chance that will never happen again."
"He made Ford lose an occasion that will never come back."
"Because before ruining the family, Stan’s action ruined his own brother’s future. He could have studied in a great school, instead of a mediocre one. And this is not something any parent would see, for none of their kids."
So, you are trying to say that Filbrick believes in retributive justice and that's the reason that he kicked Stan out of home? Like "You ruined your own brother’s future and destroyed his life and I will show you the same courtesy". He responds fire with more fire, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, that sort of thing.
Honestly, I don't think Filbrick thought at all, when he kicked Stan out of the house. What we got from the series (especially from Lost Legends) is that Filbrick is a guy with a short fuse, who tends to reach instinctively to things.
This is what I think happened here too. Filbrick heard Stan admitting he was hurting Ford, so he did the first instinctual thing that popped up in his mind: he protected the hurt son, by keeping the other away.
If he stopped to think, he would've probably found it very weird that Stan deliberately messed up his brother's life and questioned the whole situation a bit more. But that wouldn't have been Filbrick: he's a tough guy with a short fuse and he connected everything in his mind in the simplest possible way. One son hurt the other? Separate them.
I articulated it in a more complex way, but I don't think Filbrick made complex reasoning about Ford's future: his train of thought was probably much simpler, much more of a "son hurts other son -> separate them". Probably, on a more subconscious level, he made all the reasoning I explained, about how Stan admitted he just ruined his brother's future (according to him at least) and how painful it was to see a talented son forced into mediocrity. Maybe this is also how he processed everything that happened in the following years. Maybe he even gave voice to these thoughts, while talking with his wife and Ford.
But in the heat of the moment when he kicked Stan out, I doubt he made any of these reasonings at all. I believe it was more of an instinctual reaction of someone who wanted to protect the hurt son. And yes, by doing so he ended up hurting the other son, but we also know that Filbrick isn't the best at delicate mechanisms like psychology or feelings.
#gfreblog#god this post destroys me thanks op#i highly doubt filbrick was a completely uncaring man#he has many many faults as a person and as a parent#but listen. there was a panel of him looking at his father's day gift in lost legends#headcanon territory here i'm aware. lost legends isn't even in the tv show so idk how much it counts#as for the funeral thing. Well why would a father show up to the funeral of the son he believed he killed#not defending him. i don't even like him.#just saying that it would be more messed up if the father cared a teeny bit and ruined everyone's lives anyway#love doesn't matter if you are a terrible person who views his kids as cogs in a machine#they named BOTH their kids stan like at least open a random page of a phonebook or something#great post op#parents with anger problems tend to have warped views on what a Bad Kid is#so will deliver disproportionate retribution in misguided attempts to correct their child or as some emotionally-charged “karma”#that's my theory anyway#also as a comparison to personal experience even though i'm aware these are really just scripted cartoon characters#if stan was more scared of the outside world than his father he'd sit on the doorstep for the whole night.#maybe walk around town for a few days in uncertainty. who even knows if he'd actually be let back in though. not him. man#in an ironic way filbrick and caryn really did successfully raise two tough boys#those boxing lessons and the natural pines stubbornness paid off unfortunarely#for better or for worse they were willing to face the dangers of the world alone and luckily made it out well n alive. emphasis on the luck#the only thing i slightly disagree with in the above text is how he might've cared for ford's aspirations? not saying the take is wrong#ford had shelves of medals but he LIT UP at filbrick's 'i'm impressed' in that school office#and filbrick just said 'you cost this family millions' after the motion machine incident. he might've liked ford a bit more than stan#but only bc ford was a more promising 'ticket'#sorry for the rant. god. the pines family makes me insane all of them.#anyways fuck filbrick pines if he has no haters i'm dead. you fucked up two perfectly good children is what you did#look at them they've got anxiety#ask to tag#bc of the discussions of abuse n all
91 notes · View notes
luvst4rc0r3 · 11 hours ago
Note
just wanted to say i loved both 'slave' fics! idk if you're continuing it but please do! they were so interesting!
“Slave” PT.3
Jinx x F!Reader
WARNINGS:Cursing.
WC:554
NOTE:Not proofread. This is Jinx’s POV of the situation. ALSO THIS WILL HAVE 2 MORE PARTS.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Normally, the hum of her gadgets and the constant chatter in her head drowned out the loneliness. But tonight, even the voices were quiet. Even Fishbones seemed heavier in her hands as she sat on the cold, grease-streaked floor.
“Why’d you leave, huh?” she whispered to no one, her knees drawn up to her chest. Her fingers toyed with the trigger, not out of malice, but habit. She wasn’t going to fire. Not this time.
The question bounced around her head, louder than anything else. She tried to answer it, tried to twist it into something she could understand, but all she got was static.
They’d told her it was too much—she was too much. That she didn’t know how to stop. That loving her felt like standing on a bomb, waiting for it to go off.
But Isha looks at Jinx with displeasure. Like she was trying to tell her “Hey! Why the fuck would you chase out my other mother who actually took care of me?!”
Jinx had laughed then. It was her first mistake. The second was saying, “You look like everyone else.”
Isha’s face had gone tight, jaw clenched so hard Jinx thought it might snap. Then she left. Just like that. No explosions, no fireworks, not even the sound of the door slamming.
Now, no one called her. No one sat cross-legged on the floor while she worked, tossing her bits of scrap metal and asking endless questions. No one hummed under their breath when they thought she wasn’t listening.
Jinx hated it. Hated you.
But she didn’t hate you. Deep down she knew that hate she had for you was her missing you.
Her stomach twisted, and she choked on the sour taste of it. She could fill a hundred walls with your name, a thousand blueprints with sketches of your face, and it still wouldn’t be enough to make her forget.
She’d tried forgetting. Tried blowing it up. Burn it down, smash it apart, erase the memories like she erased everything else. It didn’t work.
The voices, they told her to move on, find someone else, something else to focus on. But the silence in the hideout told her the truth. She misses you, Isha, and Micheal.
“Isha,” she whispered into the quiet. The name tasted bitter and sweet at the same time. Like the candy Isha used to bring her, the ones Jinx pretended to hate but always finished.
Her pink eyes darted to the little pile of wires and broken circuits by the workbench. Isha had left her gloves there once, and Jinx never threw them away. They were still draped over the edge, the leather worn and soft.
Jinx wasn’t sorry. Not really.
And that was the problem.
Fishbones slipped from her hands with a dull clunk as she folded in on herself, forehead pressed against her knees. She stayed like that, curled up in the quiet, like maybe if she got small enough, the world wouldn’t notice her anymore.
For a moment, she imagined Isha walking through the door. Her sharp eyes, her steady voice—both somehow managing to make Jinx feel like she wasn’t completely broken. Like someone had stitched all the cracks together, even if just for a moment.
But the door didn’t open.
And Jinx knew, deep down, it never would.
Tumblr media
HEYY!!!
I’m kinda happy how this part turned out!!! I’m currently trying to finish this before midterms😰😰😰 AND To write another series which I was passionate abt.
ANYWAYS
I want food and sleep
22 notes · View notes
ask-postcrash-curly · 2 days ago
Note
So wait is Curly your LAST name? I always assumed it was a nickname, a la Curly McLain from Oklahoma! (the musical, if you haven’t heard of it) or Curley from Of Mice and Men (though idk if his name was a nickname. You ever read that book?). I guess if it was a nickname it wouldn’t really apply anymore, since, y’know. No more lucious locks. Sorry about that. I’m confident you could rock a bald look if you got proper care tho. Anyway, if it’s your last name, do people call you that cause of the natural address of Captain Curly? And if THAT’S how it works, how do you feel about the crew calling Jimmy “Captain Jimmy” instead of “Captain Jimmy’s-Last-Name?”
Sorry this kinda got away from me. Feel free to answer as little or as much as you want, or not at all.
Yep. Grant Curly. I can live without hair so long as I’ve got healed skin. Setting the bar nice and low, yeah? Thanks though. And no, it’s not related to my title. I’ve been Curly since I was a kid. The only problem I have with the crew calling Jimmy Captain anything is that Jimmy’s too unstable to have any business captaining a stranded crew.
Maybe he’s getting better. He hasn’t come in here for a while. I can hope, at least.
20 notes · View notes
dootznbootz · 2 days ago
Note
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMkyc3svp/
I CANNOT KEEP HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.
ODYSSEUS. WAS. FUCKING. RAPED. AND. COERCED.
THE. TELEGONY. ISN'T. CANON. TO. THE ODYSSEY.
WHEN. ARE. PEOPLE. GOING. TO. ACKNOWLEDGE. MALE. VICTIMS. AND. WHEN. ARE. TIKTOKERS. GOING. TO. STOP. BITCHING. ABOUT. THE. SOCIAL. POSITION. OF. A. GENDER. IN. AN. OUTDATED. AND. ANCIENT. SOCIETY.
I'm going to delete tiktok istg
I didn't even go further after the "You have no idea how much Ancient Greece hated women" :')
Thank fuck I don't have the clock app or I'd be causing problems. I'm really tired.
I'm sorry but in general, I'm really tired of this "They absolutely hated women" when like, y'all, that may have been the case with certain men and societal structures (The way Hesoid writes about women scares me tbh.) but like... people are so mindboggled by the fact that there are men that care about women??
Especially when the Minoan/Mycenaean society was structured quite differently compared to other eras.
I genuinely wish people just like, looked at history with a neutral lens. and then just saw how things like, are and how they were viewed at the time.
Idk I think some folks just have their heads so far up their asses that they refuse to see otherwise, which is a real shame :/
like I didn't even wanna listen to the rest of the clip because I just know it was a lot of hogwash
idk, Woe, Circe essay be upon ye.
23 notes · View notes