this moment where benson holds the door open and makes randy walk under his arm to get inside the diner drives me crazyyy. it's such an intoxicating interaction and i can’t help but wonder if he's ever done this to randy before… maybe when they've closed bbb together and randy's been a little slow gathering his things from his locker. benson's just been standing at the door all quiet, waiting. and randy's shuffled over embarrassed and feeling guilty for holding benson up. says a quick 'sorry' that has benson turning the keys over in his hand, not saying anything back. pushes the door open but stands in the way and waits again, arm up, eyes dark but the contact pointed. randy blinking. “oh. thanks.” goes under benson’s arm, gets so close the smell of cigarettes is dizzying. rubs at his nose as he heads to his car. only pausing halfway there when he realizes benson is still at the door to the restaurant, just standing there, door still open, arm still up. a fluttery, confused, “benson?” leaving him as he looks around. and then benson’s back to business with a roll of his shoulders, key in the lock, quick pull on the handles to double check. randy a little hopeful as he says “see you tomorrow?” by the hood. benson nodding, replies with a rough, knowing, “you will.” that makes randy warm.
h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
i think some of the popularity that meta horror has garnered is a little bit disingenuous tbqh even though i do like some of the movies that have come out of the subgenre, people don’t realize that the foundation of the slasher genre was established in the 60s/70s and a lot of the 80s movies that have become so classic were already riffing off of the tropes established by those movies before full fledged meta took off. the idea to make friday the 13th was sparked by the commercial success of halloween. the original script for slumber party massacre was a parody of the genre and the movie retains much of that humor which is referential to past slashers by nature. + it intentionally uses typical slasher tropes around gender and sexuality to bring forward the concerns of teenage girls. is that not something that meta horror is frequently touted as doing? child’s play is like a slasher, “except —” which is what a lot of meta horror comedies do now (“slasher except it’s a possessed doll” is not that far off from “slasher except it’s freaky friday” and whatnot). this isn’t to say that scream isn’t foundational to what the slasher genre evolved into or that contemporary meta slashers aren’t doing something interesting but i also think they tend to lean towards cynicism towards the movies they’re deriving their themes from + they’re not even as different as they think they are from “classic” 80s movies that already are borrowing from classic slashers which in turn borrowed from even older horror (for example, in halloween, laurie is watching the thing from another world from the 50s which was adapted into the now classic john carpenter’s the thing in the 80s). and of course many of these older horror movies were adapted from literature which also inspired more literature. like the shelley/byron/polidori scary story writing contest is now legendary but also you don’t get the shining without the haunting of hill house (and you don’t get the haunting of hill house without turn of the screw, for example) and the shining is probably one of the most referenced movies by other media of all time. horror has always been an intertextual genre let’s stop pretending it didn’t become “self aware” until 1996
hi. i’m going to be on break for a bit, i’m sorry to the people who’ve sent me messages or replied to me recently that i haven’t gotten back to yet. i’ll be gone until november at max but idk exactly yet, see you all in a while <3
Absolutely no motivation to unpack my apartment after the past week I’ve had and I’m trying not to be so tough on myself but I’m still sleeping on my mattress on my floor and living out of my suitcase and I’m just starting to feel so disorganized and icky which I know won’t go away until I unpack
Evangelion is probably, hands down one of my favorite franchises. If not one of the most formative series I was introduced to in late middle school (doctor who being the other). I rewatch it a lot. When 3.33+1.01 (Thrice Upon a Time) was released I rewatched the entire series in order starting with the orignal anime season.
I was introduced through the rebuilds. Around 2015, Adult Swim’s Toonami block did a special airing of 1.11(you are (not) alone), 2.22(you can(not) advance), and 3.33(you can(not) redo). I remember DVR’ing them because they showed at like 3am Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in order.
There’s not a lot of experiences from my early teens I actively wish to relieve, but sometimes I rewatch the Rebuilds late at night just to try. Just to, for 2 hours, feel like I’m 14, witnessing Shinji Ikari’s three movie mental breakdown for the first time again. It’s midnight and I have the volume way down and the subtitles on because I’m definitely not supposed to be up but I can’t look away. I understand for the first time, the appeal of mecha anime, a subgenre that up to then never interested me. I also think NGE played a significant part in why I like psychological horror (and what I like in psychological horror) with the way the series systemically picks apart each major character in a uniquely way tragic.
Shinji is a loser, and he has his father to blame and himself to blame and being human to blame. And the series is about giant robots and confusing plot lines but it’s also fundamentally about humanity and human connection and as someone who, at the time was the same age as the kids, who struggled with connecting with other people despite wanting to, Evangelion hit me in a way that I’ll likely never fully articulate.