#i had to sit through a two and a half hour marvel movie (actual hell) (for me)

[warmsol]

do you crave to be home playing with your sims while you’re out or are you normal

[waitimcomingtoo]

Bagels and Bites

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Synopsis: Sebastian likes to flirt with you in interviews

Masterlist

It all started when you met him on The Late Late Show.

“How are you all feeling tonight?” James asked you and Sebastian Stan as you sat on the guest couch.

“I’m excited.” You beamed as Sebastian rested his arm on the couch behind you.

“So am I. We should probably talk about this later,” Sebastian smiled directly at you, “but we’ve been wanting to meet each other for a long time.”

“Have you?” James chuckled.

“No.” You laughed and playfully hit Sebastian in the chest. “We had one interaction on Twitter and he thinks there’s something between us.”

“It was a very flirty interaction.” Sebastian clarified. “There were sparks flying all over those tweets.”

“So this is your first time actually meeting?” James asked. “Even though you’re in the marvel movies together?”

“It’s weird. I haven’t met half the cast.” You shrugged. “I’ll meet everyone else once the press tour starts but so far I’ve only met the people I’ve filmed with. Just Chris, and Chris, and um, oh yeah. Chris.”

You looked down and smiled to yourself when you heard Sebastian laughing at your joke. Even though you’d never met him, you’d always liked him. It was a well known secret on the Internet that you were his celebrity crush, since he was so inclined on bringing it up in almost every interview of his. Being face to face for the first time now, you were feeling a little intoxicated from his charm. Well, his charm and the white wine you’d been sipping on.

“I hope they stop putting me with Mackie and start putting me with Y/n once this press tour starts.” Sebastian said after taking a sip of his wine. “I love him but I can’t keep babysitting him at 8 in the morning. I’d like to wake up to someone who looks a little more like this one.”

“I know what you mean.” You agreed. “He would show up to set every morning all ready to go and I’m like dude, give me a few hours for my personality to arrive.”

“I was so mad that he got to film with you and I didn’t.” Sebastian shook his head. “We finally get cast in a movie together and we’re never in the same scene.”

“Well,” you put your hand on his knee and patted it, “we’re meeting now. Lucky you.”

“Yeah.” He smirked at you. “Lucky me.”

“Now, Sebastian.” James reminded you both that he was there. “I heard a rumor that you have a little crush on Y/n.”

“Well, I try not to pay attention to rumors.” Sebastian waved his hand. “But that ones pretty accurate.”

“Oh my God.” You put your hand over your heart, which was about to beat out of your chest, and laughed.

“It’s true. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, but I feel like I’ve seen you all my life. And here you are in person and you look so great.” Sebastian said through a shy smile. You laughed in shock at his compliment and looked down at your lap.

“You’re fully going for it.” James laughed at how bold Sebastian was being.

“You’re not being a very good wingman.” You teased James as you took a long sip of your drink. The more alcohol you had in you, the easier it would be to flirt with the incredible attractive man next to you.

“I was never known for that.” James agreed. “But I heard your brother is a pretty good one, isn’t he?”

“Oh My God.” You groaned, knowing exactly what James was referring to. “He’s not.”

“What happened?” Sebastian wondered, never taking his eyes off you.

“I took my brother to the Oscars with me last year and we happened to be sitting next to Jake Gyllenhaal.” You explained. “And the whole night, he’s telling Jake about how I used to be in love with him when I was a kid. If there weren’t a bunch of cameras around us, I would’ve rung his neck.”

“So I’m assuming you and Jake aren’t the next celebrity power couple?” James teased.

“We are not.” You shook your head. “I can confidently say that I was still single.”

“I was just gonna and say, there’s still hope for us.” Sebastian gestured between the two of you. You opened your mouth in shock before biting down on your tongue. You playfully hit Sebastian again, signally that you were just as interested as he was.

“You’re really going for it.” James pointed out. “I must say, wow.”

“Why not?” Sebastian grinned. “This is the time.”

“You are pretty cute, I just wanna say.” You flirted back for the hell of it. Sebastian laughed in surprise before covering his face with his hands. You laughed as well as he hunched over to hide his face.

“He’s actually gone red now!” James pointed at him. “He was so sure of himself and now he’s all red.”

“Leave him alone.” You pouted as you rubbed Sebastians back. Sebastian sat back up and rubbed his face with his hands.

“Yeah.” Sebastian said assertively as he wrapped an arm around you. “Leave me alone. I’m trying to flirt here.”

“How would you ask her on a date, then?” James asked. “Since you’re so in love with her.”

“Like this.” Sebastian said as he turned to you “Ce faci?”

“Would you bite me in the neck?” You asked, catching him completely off guard. He took his arm away and laughed in shock at your words.

“Oh my God.” He chuckled as he looked around in embarrassment. Suddenly, he turned back to you and cupped one side of your face, tilting your neck slightly with his hand. He bit down on your exposed neck, making the audience erupt in a series of laughter and gasps. You giggled when you felt his scruff tickling your neck and made no effort to push him off.

“He actually did it.” James looked at the audience to see if they were seeing what he was.

“She asked me to.” Sebastian rolled his eyes playfully. His arm was still around you and neither of you wanted it off.

“It was a hypothetical but I guess I know my answer.” You shrugged as you leaned back on the couch.

“Why would you ask him that?” James wondered.

“Like a vampire.” You explained. “Aren’t vampires from Romania?”

“That’s Transylvania.” Sebastian smiled fondly at you.

“Oh.” You realized. “I still liked it.”

“I’ll do it again later.” Sebastian shrugged, making your hide your face in embarrassment.

“Promise?” You said suddenly as you put your hand back on his knee. It was Sebastians turn to be baffled as he put his free hand on tops of yours.

“Darling.” He choked out, too stunned to form a full sentence.

“This has been an intense experience.” James fans himself with his cards. “What will the two of you do after the show?”

“I’ll probably go home, order a pizza, and pass out while watching all of Sebastian’s episodes of Once Upon a Time.” You joked.

“I was going to do the exact same thing.” Sebastian nodded. “Right after I got a job as a pizza delivery boy so I can go to Y/n’s house.”

“Or you could just come over.” You shrugged, making Sebastian blush.

“I like that idea too.” Sebastian replied.

“I’m trying to imagine what the poor pizza delivery boy is gonna see when he arrives at Y/n’s house later.” James grimaced, making the audience laugh.

“I know, right? They open the door and this is what the get.” Sebastian gestured to you. “It’s you. How lucky they are.”

You leaned into him as you laughed, the alcohol making you feel bolder than usual. You’d never be this flirty with a man you’d just met, but he made it too easy.

The rest of the interview continued in a similar fashion, with you and Sebastian unapologetically flirting with each other every chance you got. By the end of the interview, you were so close that your knees were touching. When it came time to say goodbye, you felt an unexpected pane of sadness.

“Well, thank you both for coming on the show tonight.” James smiled. “I hope I’ll be invited to the wedding.”

“You will. And I wanted to thank you. For this.” Sebastian said as he slipped his fingers through yours and held up your hands. You beamed and squeezed his hand, fully tipsy now the the interview was over.

After thanking James and drinking another glass of wine, you drunkenly pulled Sebastian off the couch.

“Come in the photo booth with me.” You giggled as you tugged him by the hand towards the booth.

“Okay.” He grinned as he climbed inside. He pulled you into his lap and pressed the button before wrapping his arms around your waist. The pictures began to snap away and you posed for all of them. For the first, you just held each other close and smiled. For the second, he leaned up to kiss your cheek. And for the third, he took another bite of your neck.

“That tickles.” You giggled as the camera flashed.

“Good.” He smirked against your skin before pressing a kiss there.

“Stick your tongue out.” You told him, and he obliged. You licked his tongue as the fourth picture was taken, capturing the drunken moment. The fifth flash went off right as Sebastian connected your lips to his. You continued to kiss him, tasting the alcohol on his lips and tongue.

“Oh my God.” You pulled away suddenly. “I have to pee.”

You got off his lap and ran to the restroom, leaving him alone in the photo booth.

The next time you saw Sebastian, neither of you brought the kiss up. Whether you thought the other was too drunk to remember or you were simply too embarrassed to bring it up, it was not mentioned.

The flirting, however, the flirting continued.

~

“What would you like to see for your characters in the next movies?” The journalist asked you and Sebastian as you sat together in a press junket.

“For our characters specifically, I’d like to see some graphic love making.” Sebastian said seriously. “I think that that’s something the movies have been lacking.”

“Oh my God.” You laughed and shook your head. “Me too, actually. I think it would be really in character and important to the plot.”

“How would that benefit the plot?” The journalist asked.

“It’s simple. I would just change my name to “the plot” and bam.” Sebastian clapped his hands. “I’m benefited.”

“He’s such a flirt.” You said as you rested your elbow on his shoulder. “Can you believe him?”

“I can’t.” The journalist chuckled.

“You know what I’d like to see? Some method acting. Why can’t you be as quiet as Bucky?” You teased Sebastian as you flicked his ear.

“How would I tell you how pretty you are if I wasn’t speaking?” He flirted back.

“This is what I have to put up with.” You shook your head as looked at the camera. “What about you? What do you want to see from our characters?”

“I would like to see Bucky do the knife trick some more.” The journalist answered you.

“What knife trick?” You wondered.

“It’s the thing he does when he flips his knife around and stabs people.” Sebastian explained as he moved his hand in a circle. “It took me forever to learn.”

“Wait, I wanna see it.” You smiled excitedly and turned to him.

“No, no.” He wagged his finger at you. “I’m not doing the knife trick.”

“Please?” You pouted. “For me?”

“All right, all right.” Sebastian broke into a grin. “I’m only doing this because you asked nicely.”

The journalist handed him a pen and he easily flipped it around and caught it before making a stabbing motion. You let out a gasp and stared at him in shock for a long time.

“What’s wrong?” He asked you.

“I wanna to fuck you, that’s what’s wrong.” You replied. “Can you do it again?”

Sebastian laughed at your joke as his face heated up. He knew that was just the way you two liked to tease each other, but it didn’t mean it didn’t make him smile.

“I’ll do it again.” He nodded as picked the pen back up. “Anything for you.”

~

On a day where the interviews ended early, you spent the night in Sebastians hotel room, getting drunk on his balcony.

“What about you?” Sebastian asked as he took a sip of his beer. “What was your best kissing scene? I know you’ve kissed some pretty great actors. Might be hard to pick.”

“It’s not. I hate kissing actors.” You grimaced. “It’s not even kissing. It’s just like, limp lips on limp lips. There’s no passion when it’s for a scene. I hate it.”

“Maybe you’re just kissing the wrong actors.” Sebastian shrugged playfully as he gazed at you.

“I don’t think so.” You shook your head. “I’ve never felt anything when kissing another actor. You can’t tell me you do.”

“I do.” He shrugged again. “Its not much, but I wouldn’t say it’s nothing.”

“What? How?” You wondered. “If you kissed me right now, you wouldn’t feel anything. I guarantee it.”

“I think I would.” Sebastian disagreed.

“All right.” You turned your chair a little to face him. “Prove me wrong.”

Sebastian tweaked an eyebrow up before leaning in to kiss you. You kissed him back for a few seconds before pulling away. You looked past him for a minute as you mulled the moment over in your head.

“What’s the matter?” He asked quietly.

“I was incorrect.” You chuckled a little. “I guess I did feel something.”

“I told you you would.” He said smugly. “I knew you’d feel something.”

“How’d you know?” You whined as he basked in the glory of being right.

“Because I felt something the last time we kissed.” He said simply. “And I knew you did too.”

“I didn’t realize you remembered that.” You smirked before talking a sip from his beer.

“Course I do.” He replied. “I think about that night all the time. It was the start of a beautiful, sexually frustrating friendship.”

“Oh, I’m sexually frustrating?” You laughed. “Try being your friend. It’s hard to look at you, really.”

“That’s not how I feel about you.” He smiled a little. “I really, really like looking at you.”

“I like you too.” You smiled back.

“That’s not what I said.” He teased. You dropped your jaw and stole his beer again, taking a long sip as you held eye contact.

“It’s what you meant.” You stuck your tongue out at him. You sat in comfortable silence for a minute, listening to the chirps of the crickets as a warm breeze wafted through the air.

“The press tour is ending soon.” You said quietly as you adverted your eyes. “Tomorrow’s the premier. Then, it’s all over.”

“I know.” He said softly. You looked at him and gave him a sad smile, to which he returned.

“We won’t get to see each other every day anymore.” You pointed out.

“Then we better make tomorrow count.” He said simply. He knew what you were implying, that there was no point in starting something when you’d both been going home soon, but he didn’t want to think about that. He just wanted to enjoy his last few days with you.

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly and looked away again. “We better.”

~

The following night at the premier, you felt an overwhelming sadness knowing that it was all ending. You loved the weeks you’d spent goofing off with Sebastian, even if it never led to a real relationship. It still meant something to you, and you hoped it meant something to him.

To counteract your sadness, you sat with Chris Evans at the bar and let him distract you. After spending a minute with him, you were feeling drunk and ready to find Sebastian. You spotted him on the red carpet, fixed your dress, and went up to him.

“Hi.” You giggled as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You smiled up at him as he wrapped an arm around you, taking an usually loud whiff of his cologne.

“Hey.” He chuckled as he patted your back. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good.” You said as you swayed a little. “Question, is there alcohol in a Shirley Temple? Because I feel like I’ve had alcohol.”

“There is.” He laughed again and steadied you. “Did you know that?”

“Nope.” You sniffed him again. “You smell good.”

“Oh no.” He smiled as your behavior. “How many did you have?”

“I was having a contest with Evans to see who could drink more. I had like 5.” You bragged as you almost fell over.

“Oh dear.” He quickly caught you. “You’re staying with me tonight. I don’t trust drunk you.”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to babysit me.” You waved your hand and tried to walk away. You instantly stumbled and neatly fell, but Sebastian wrapped his arms around you and caught you.

“I think I do.” He chuckled as you put you on your feet. “Come on. You’re sticking with me.”

~

The next morning, you woke up with a throbbing headache. Not feeling the strength to sit up, you opened a single eye and looked around. You were definitely not in your own room, but you recognized who’s room you were in.

“Good morning.” Sebastians voice was usually loud, making you wince.

“Oh God.” You groaned as you sat up. You groggily opened your eyes as Sebastian handed you a cup of coffee.

“Here.” He smiled shyly. “How’s the head?”

“The head is in pain.” You groaned. “So is the rest of the body.”

“Here. Drink this.” He held out a glass of water and some Advil. “And take these.”

“Thanks.” You smiled sheepishly as you accepted his offerings.

“Did you at least win the drinking contest?” He asked as he took a seat on the bed. You took a long sip of water and swallowed the pills before answering his questions.

“I did.” You nodded. “But at what cost?”

“You’ll start to feel better once you get some food in you.” Sebastian said as he rubbed your shoulder. You put your hand over his and stared at him, feeling the guilt set in.

“I’m sorry I got drunk.” You mumbled. “I didn’t mean to ruin the last night.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Sebastian shook his head. “Trust me, we still had fun. I’m not sure how much you remember though.”

“I remember sitting with you at the premier.” You recalled. “And eating many, many bagels.”

“Yeah, we stopped at a bakery.” He chuckled. “You ate a dozen. I watched it all.”

“Oh God.” You covered your face with your hands. “That’s not how I wanted to spend our last night together.”

“How did you want to spend it together?” He asked quietly.

“Probably in a way that still ended with me waking up in your bed.” You joked like you usually did. “But I could do without the part where you watched me eat 12 bagels.”

“What do you mean?” He grinned. “That was the best part.”

“How’d I end up in your bed anyway?” You asked before taking another sip of coffee.

“You threw your key card at a seagull who was eyeing your bagel.” He explained. “You couldn’t get into your room so I let your crash in mine.”

You looked around the room and saw his pull out couch was topped with pillows and sheets, evidence of him sleeping there.

“Did you sleep on the pull out?” You pointed to it in disbelief.

“Of course I did.” He shrugged.

“Such a gentleman.” You scrunched your nose at him before finishing the coffee.

“Basic human decency is not exactly being a gentleman.” He pointed out.

“Maybe not.” You agreed. “But you still are one. You prove that to me everyday.”

“That must be why you like me so much.” He teased.

“Must be.” You dished it right back. Sebastians smile fell suddenly as he got a serious look on his face.

“I think you and I need to have a talk.” He said softly.

“Oh God.” You feared. “Did I puke on you last night?”

“No.” He chuckled. “It’s not about last night.”

“Then what’s it about?”

“As much as I love flirting with you, and I do, I think you should know it’s not just a joke to me.” He began. “And I wanted to know if it was just a joke to you or if-“

“It’s not.” You said a little too quickly, which made him smile. “I...I like you. A lot, actually. One might even call it love.”

Upon hearing this, Sebastian leaned forward to kiss you. You held a hand to stop him and gave him an apologetic look.

“I wouldn’t.” You grimaced. “My morning breath is-“

“-something I could get used to.” He cut you off before going in for the kiss. You immediately kissed him back, pulling him by his shirt to have him closer. He climbed over you as you tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I don’t care if its our last day.” He mumbled against your lips. “I want to do this for real. I wanna be with you.”

You kissed him back to tell him you felt the same way, not trusting yourself to say something smooth in the heat of the moment.

“Wait.” You pushed him back suddenly and held him away from you.

“Whats wrong?” He asked as he hovered over you.

“Can we get bagels after this?” You asked seriously before breaking into a smile.

“I seriously can’t stand you.” He said before leaning down to kiss you again. “You’re lucky I love you because I don’t like you at all.”

“12 wasn’t enough.” You giggled between kisses. “I need more. I crave them. I crave the yeast.”

Sebastian stopped kissing you for a moment and looked at you with a fond expression. You stared back at him as a content smile tugged at your lips. The flirting had finally lead to something more and neither of you could be happier.

“You know, you might actually be more annoying than Mackie.” He teased you before leaning down to kiss your neck.

“Shut up.” You laughed. “Shut up and bite me in the neck.”

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[theonewiththefanfics]

Don’t Worry, Darling (one-shot)

Synopsis: Falling in love with a co-star is something that can hurt, especially when it seems like they’re talking to other people behind your back, but falling in love with a co-star and being unable to help when they’re sick, is even worse.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, SMUT 

Warnings: COVID-19, sickness, swearing, SMUT (fingering, m going down on f, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it))

Word count: 11 968 (yoikes)

Please note I’m not trying to make light of the pandemic or the virus and those impacted by it. It’s a very real and serious thing, which is why I decided to use it. Please stay safe and healthy, follow the local health guidelines and if you have the ability please get vaccinated. Let’s keep ourselves and one another safe, frens :)

When Y/N got the call she’d gotten the role of Jack’s ex-wife who’d disappeared in mysterious circumstances, she was over the moon. As a Marvel alumnus, she was excited to work with Florence, as she’d loved Midsommar, and knowing she was going to be one of the new faces carrying the next Marvel chapter, she wanted to get to know her. Having played Tony Stark’s adopted daughter since the age of six, she was very protective of the franchise but was excited to see where it’d go.

      Then Shia LaBeouf, Chris Pine as well with Dakota Johnson’s announcements coming soon after, Y/N got even more stoked, and with Olivia Wilde leading all of them, she was sure the movie would be a hit.

      Shia and Dakota had to drop out due to scheduling issues (which Y/N couldn’t lie – she was kind of happy Shia couldn’t do it), and that's where Harry Styles took over the role of Jack with Kiki Layne Dakota’s Margaret.

      Now, when Y/N had seen Harry’s picture next to the re-cast e-mail the whole production had been sent out, she might’ve had a little (a massive, like a ginormous) freak-out. As much as she’d grown up listening to classic rock, due to Robert Downey Jr. and Iron Man, she’d been an avid One Direction fan. Like to the point, it might even seem a bit creepy. Y/N had sort of grown out of the obsessive phase of it all, but most definitely admired the solo albums they’d been able to produce, and when Dunkirk came out, she was excited to see Harry join the acting world, with the amount of talent he had.

      The first table read was sort of awkward, and definitely the weirdest one, given how a pandemic had started, and everyone was at their respective homes using Zoom. 

      Y/N and Florence had been the first to join the conversation about half an hour before the official beginning, and by the time everyone else did, they were crying from laughter and had to excuse themselves from their computers to collect whatever remaining composure they had. 

      “You two alright?” Oliva Wilde had raised her eyebrow, as the women re-joined, still chuckling. “Will we have to use body doubles for the scenes you two are in?”

      “No!

      “Nohooo!” both of them yelled through laughter. “We’ll be as professional as professionals are. Which is very professional.”

      Then Y/N made the mistake of glancing at Florence’s square, and the two busted out laughing again, spewing apologies in between, but no one seemed to really mind. In fact, it looked like they appreciated how casual and open everyone was being, hoping the set wouldn’t be stiff either when they moved onto filming.

      And for the two women, it wasn’t really. Actually, they grew closer than ever. The amount of time Florence spent in Y/N’s trailer was to the point that the two started to talk about just moving in together. After scouring the nearby apartments for rent, they settled on a three-bedroom apartment, as two-bedroom ones were non-existent. 

      When Harry grew closer to them as well, given how he spent quite some time with both women, they suggested he move in as well.

      “You know, what? I changed my mind. You’re taking away our closet, and I don't like that,” Y/N pouted, watching as Florence lifted a pile of her clothes and moved it to her room. “That’s not very ‘treat people with kindness’ of you.”

      All he did was flick a finger at her forehead, which Y/N swatted away with a smile. When he’d double-checked about moving in with them (which, mind you was the seventh time, and half his stuff was already there), the two women were ecstatic. They got along amazingly on set and basically having a sleepover with friends every night suited all of them quite well. 

      At that moment, Y/N was sitting on the edge of her bed, knitting while Harry painted all of their toes and Florence put on facemasks.

      “Wine!” Y/N suddenly exclaimed, almost knocking over the light blue nail polish bottle as she jumped up, throwing her needles back on the bed. “We need wine!”

      “Do not ruin my masterpiece!” Harry hollered after her, as she waddled away on her heels, toes separated by foam and hight up in the air. She even had to manoeuvre around the carpet to avoid any hairs and fibres that could get stuck inside the still wet lacquer.

      It took her a second to find a bottle all three of them could enjoy, given their tastes were so different – Y/N preferred sweet and red, and didn’t care if it was a three-dollar bottle from Target, Harry had a bit more of an expensive pallet, giving preference to something with a more of a lingering aftertaste and in the higher ranges of price point, while Florence liked rosé and white wines.  

      Taking two glasses in one hand and the bottle with a third glass between her fingers, she shuffled back to her room when she heard the two muttering something in low voices before Harry whispered harshly, “I’m not telling Y/N that!” 

      “Won’t me what?” Y/N’s question made him and Florence spring back where they’d been engaged in a heated conversation when she re-entered the room, putting the wine bottle and glasses on the nightstand.

      Florence waved her off, giving her a smile, she didn’t believe in. “Nothing. Now come on, Harry will do your fingernails now, and I think it’s about time the mask came off.”

      And that’s when Y/N’s heart dropped. She’d been in the industry long enough to know how fake people could be, how they could put on smiles so inviting and friendly while hiding their true intentions behind them. She just didn’t think two people she’d found so genuine and sweet would be like that.

      And the thing was – it wasn’t the first time she’d heard the two whispering like that and hushing up when they saw her enter the room or even come somewhere near to them. 

In the beginning, Y/N had chalked it up to the two being closer, given they had to spend more time together, so they knew one another better, but this time sort of solidified it wasn’t the fact the two were closer, it had to deal with Y/N specifically.

      So, she started to distance herself. She’d had enough users in her life to last her for the rest of it. Y/N excused herself from the movie nights they had on most Fridays, she no longer joined in on the cooking sessions and mostly spent time in her room, or on work calls.

      When she re-entered the flat, four weeks after their falling out, they watched as she nodded to them, and went inside her room, closing the door, much like she’d been doing for the past thirty days. 

      “Do you think she knows?” Harry asked, brows furrowed and bottom lip between his teeth as he hoped the doors would open, yet, obviously, they didn’t. 

      “Well, I haven’t told her, and unless you did, then I doubt it…”

      Harry stood up, running a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna talk to her.”

      “You think it’s a good idea?”

      “No, but if she’s upset maybe she needs to talk to someone.”

      “Or maybe she wants to be alone.”

      Harry bit his lip thinking over Florence’s words. When he was upset about something, he himself did like to kind of retreat and become a little bit of a recluse, to sort out his emotions before anyone else tried to jump in and help with it, but the thing was – Y/N’s distancing started the night when she’d walked in on the two of them arguing, and it’d been about the girl in question herself, so he shook his head. “I’ll just ask if she’s alright.”

      He took a deep breath and went to enter the room he hadn’t seen in almost a month. “Hey.” Harry poked his head through Y/N’s door, making her swirl around in her chair. She looked adorable to him. She’d changed into a big fluffy nightgown, the hood up, a headband pushing hair away from her face with a green facemask covering her skin. The domestic life flashed through Harry’s head like a freight train, as it was something he craved, but pushed it away. There was no daydreaming before figuring out what was in front of him in reality. “You okay?”

      “ 'M fine.” She shot him a quick smile. “Why? Did Olivia send something new for the script?”

      “Um, no, ‘s just you’ve been, I dunno – detached a bit?”

      “Look, Harry… I may be younger than you, but I’ve been in this industry longer than you or Florence.” Y/N stood and shrugged before crossing her arms. “And the thing is – I don’t care for shit like that. So, you two can gossip and whisper and talk whatever you want about me behind my back. Everyone else is doing that so, you’re not that special. But’ I’d prefer if you did it somewhere else besides my room, my space, and I’ll say this once, but very clearly – we’re not friends. I don’t need friends like you. We’ll be civil and we’ll do our jobs, but…” Harry’s heart broke at her eyes, seeing the pain in them as she nodded and made sure he understood where she stood. “We’re not friends.”

      She didn’t leave any room for argument. When Harry left, Y/N didn’t even look over her shoulder to see him exit.

      The next couple of mornings she didn’t see them leave nor come back, seeing as Y/N had the week off from filming, but the morning of the seventh day was awkward as hell, given how all of them had to go and get tested, and well, they had their allocated time slots one after the other. Usually, they’d take one car together, but this time, Y/N drove off on her own, while Harry and Florence carpooled on their own.

      The tests were always nerve-wracking. If one person went down, the whole production did for at least two weeks. And as much as she hated going in alone, she was glad no one was with her in the car, because as she stepped out, a certain notion swept over her that this would be a lot different than usual.

      A doctor dressed head to toe in protective gear motioned for her to sit down, as another processed her ID and work ID. Her leg was bouncing up and down the whole time, and he eyed her. If she could see his lips, she was sure they’d be pursed. “Anything wrong?” He handed her back the IDs before moving to the table where a set of large q-tips seemed to lay in sterile packs.

      Y/N sighed, biting her lip and nodded. “Woke up with a sore throat and a small cough appeared on my way here as well. I wiped and cleaned everything down at the apartment I’m staying at and wore gloves and a mask the whole time.”

      “Anything else?” the doctor asked, writing down each word as Y/N said. “The feeling of breaking bones, fever, muscle pain, eyes hurting when you look up, lost sense of smell or taste?”

      “No, nothing like that. Just a sore throat and a small cough.”

The doctor let out a large sigh, probably from having to wear a full-on hazmat suit. “Alright. Just for safety reasons, so we know who’s a potential contact person, who are you staying with?”

      “Florence Pugh and Harry Styles. We’re renting an apartment together.”

      “Do you know if they’ve had any symptoms?”

      “No,” Y/N shook her head honestly. “And I haven’t really interacted with them this past week, as they’ve been on set, and I didn’t have any scenes to film, and by the time they get back, I’m already asleep, and I’m still asleep when they leave so there’s been no direct contact. We have our own kitchenware, so there shouldn’t be any direct contact. I think.”

      That last bit was half-true, seeing as she hadn’t been asleep when they came back, but she might as well have been. The second Y/N heard the door click, she’d place her headphones on or leave the room, only glimpsing the two faces falling as she did that.

      The doctor clearing his throat and motioning for Y/N to open her mouth so he could take a swab and then to do the same for both her nostrils, was what brought her out of it. She was so used to it, it was like nothing at that point. “Okay. We’ll need you to stay in the car while the test is being run, and if it comes back positive, you’ll be placed in a separate flat, as to not endanger the rest.”

      Her ‘alright’ was barely audible. Fuck. It just felt like the universe was against her. First, the two people she’d gotten closest to were whispering behind her back and being fake to her face, now she might have a super contagious virus to which there was no medicine really, nor was there a vaccine, let alone the thought she’d have to miss filming for potentially more than two weeks.

      The thirty minutes of wait were agonizing, her leg bouncing up and down. Y/N’s eyes kept watching the line of cars slowly move forward through the tent and then settle behind hers. She knew Harry was about five cars away, and she was glad he wasn’t closer. They weren’t really allowed to get out of their vehicles while the tests were being run, and Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to not look back at him through her review mirror. 

      Two more minutes passed when finally, one of the med students in the full hazmat suit came up and knocked on her car window.

      “Miss Y/L/N?”

      “Yes?” 

      “ID please.” It was standard so that no med info got leaked. The only reason she had to rummage through her stuff was, because she’d bite the little plastic card in half if she didn’t throw it somewhere deep inside her bag.

      “So.” The man sighed, and he didn’t need to elaborate. Y/N understood, but still, he had to confirm it to her. “Your test came back positive for COVID-19. The production has been informed, and for safety reasons, everyone will have to self-isolate for two weeks.”

      Y/N’s head slammed against the back of the seat. “Fuck. Okay.”

      “Because so far, you’re the only positive case, you’ll be placed into quarantine. We’ll need the address you’re staying at, and if you need anything from your apartment, we can send someone over to grab a few things. You’ll have to follow the black SUV right there.” He pointed further down the lot where indeed a black SUV stood. “They’ll take you to where the quarantine apartments are. Is there anything immediate you’ll need?”

      “I – uh – I need my pills, my birth control that is. I take it every evening. Computer, chargers. That’s the most immediate I can think of. Maybe some food? I didn’t get the chance to eat breakfast.”

      Even through the mask, Y/N could see the man smile. “Well arrange that. In the meantime, here’s the number for the coordinators who’ll get you the rest of your things and deliver them to you.”

      “Thank you. I’ll call my assistant, and she’ll drive down to the apartment. She knows where everything is.”

      “Have you been in close contact with her?”

      “Just through the phone. She hasn’t been on set in almost a month, as I told her only to come when it’s an emergency… Guess this is it.” Y/N let out an awkward chuckle.

      And truly that was it. With one last motion as to where the SUV stood, she started back up the engine, reversed out of the spot and followed the car to where the ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ production had set up a few quarantine apartments, specifically for actors and crew, speed-dialling her assistant Anna and letting her know of the situation.

      “Shit, girl,” she’d cursed. “That sucks.”

      “Tell me about it.”

      “Okay,” Anna huffed. “Do you have a spare key for the apartment by any case or do I need to go down to the lot and ask Harry or Florence?”

      “Both of them will be at the apartment, given how everything’s shut down, so they should be able to open the door for you. Hopefully, if both of them are negative. If not, call me, I’ll tell you where we hide the spare. Thank you, Anna.”

      “Of course.”

      As Y/N pulled up behind the SUV, a man and a woman in face guards and masks stepped out. She ended the call and stepped out as well, pulling on a cloth face mask, an envelope in their hands, which they handed to her.

      “Your flat’s on the third floor, 367. When you have the list of things you need, forward them to us, and we’ll gather your things.”

      Y/N nodded and gave them a tight smile. “Thank you. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

      With a sigh, she took her bag and entered the complex. As much as she’d only had a small cough in the morning and a sore throat, walking up those flights of stairs made her winded more than it usually would. Maybe it was the knowledge she had a sickness, or maybe it was stress about missing work and putting everyone on lockdown, or maybe it was the combination of it all with her falling out with Harry and Florence on top.

      She placed the key in the lock and twisted, revealing a studio type apartment, and it was so bare it made her heart clench. As much as she felt awkward being around Florence and Harry, their flat was a bit messy, had little pieces of clothing thrown around, giant knitted blankets on the sofas, a candle always lit whenever someone was home. Harry’s shoes were typically all over the place while Y/N’s make up was scattered around everywhere. Literally. Florence and Harry had gotten back early one morning from a night shoot and found her looking under the sofas for one of her lash glues as she started to get ready for the day. They’d made that flat their home for the time being. This… this was nothing like that.

      She threw the keys on the small kitchen counter and shrugged off her jacket. They was going to be a long two weeks. At best.

 ***

       Back at their place, Florence and Harry were pacing around, having heard the news that someone was positive, and everything had to shut down for the time being, yet Y/N was nowhere to be seen when a knock at the door disrupted them.

      Harry was there and flinging it open in a matter of a second, only to be stopped by Anna instead of Y/N.

      “Hey.” His brows furrowed as she and two people all wearing masks and gloves entered. “What’s going on? Is Y/N alright?”

      Anna sighed, nodding her head for the two strangers to go towards the woman’s room. “She was the one who tested positive for the virus. Gave me a list of the things she’d need while in quarantine. We’re here to pick ‘em up and get them to her.”

      “And she’s not doing that here?”

      “Per the safety instructions, she’s been placed in a separate flat in self-isolation.”

      “She could’ve done that here. We’d be fine with it,” Florence butted in, arms crossed over her chest. “We’re more than willing to take care of her. She’ll need someone to help her.”

      “You both tested negative.” One of the people piped up, carrying a box of books and yarn. “I’m sorry, but she’ll have to quarantine separately until she’s no longer infected. She’s under the supervision of doctors, and she knows if an emergency happens, they’ll be there in ten minutes tops. I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be.”

      Harry sighed, nodding as the people exited their place, but before Anna could leave, he took hold of her bicep. “Hey, can you please tell her to call me? I just wanna talk.”

      “I uh – ” Anna furrowed her brows, showing Harry that Y/N hadn’t said anything to her about the falling out they’d had. “I’ll uh, yeah. I’ll do that.”

      With that he was left to close the door and just wait for… anything.

 ***

       In the two hours Y/N had spent in the apartment, she already felt like going insane, having been left alone with her thoughts, so how she was going to do another two weeks after finally getting back into the rhythm of work was beyond her. She didn’t have any of her knitting supplies, didn’t have any of her books (yet), and most likely there was no reason to look at her script anymore, as she’d made up her mind about a lot of things. 

      There was a knock at the door, and Y/N instantly had a mask on her face and gloves on her hands. She peeped through the peephole and when she saw boxes lined in the hallway, three people in masks and faceguards at least six feet away, only then did she open the door and give them a wave.

      “Everything should be here, but if you need anything else just pop me a message.” Anna then pointed at a bag that sat atop everything. “There are the most important things, so you don’t have to rummage through everything and a pizza is on the way while I do some grocery shopping for you. And umm, there’s a paper you need to sing that you know you need to be in self-isolation and that you understand what happens if you’re not.”

      Y/N hoped all of them understood she was smiling underneath the mask, grateful for having them help her out like that. “Thank you. So much.”

      She rushed inside found a pen and signed it, moving between the boxes to place the papers on the stairs so that they could be safely retrieved. With that, the two assigned people left, leaving Anna to say goodbye.

      “Call me.” She pointed at Y/N. “No matter what, even if you just wanna talk for five seconds.”

      “Will do.” Y/N nodded and gave her a thumbs up. “If I could, I’d hug you.”

      Anna sighed, cocking her head. “Same. And umm, Harry told me to ask you to call him.”

      “Yeah, uh thank you.” She knew he probably wanted to talk, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise, but it still made her stumble on her words. “Take care, Anna.”

      “You too.”

***

       The next two days Y/N spent worrying as to how to present her decisions to the cast and crew. She felt worse with every hour, and with that had come her thought process, but as much as everyone was going to be impacted by what she was going to do, Olivia would be the one dealing with it most, so later that night she hopped on a Zoom call with her director.

      “Hey, girl.” Olivia gave her a warm smile, and Y/N almost melted. God, she loved that woman. She was like the older sister she never had. “How are you doing?”

      “I’m alright. Feelin’ kind of woozy from time to time, throat’s killing me, and I’m fairly certain I’m getting abs from how much I’m coughing.” That made both of them chuckle before Y/N bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair. “Look,” she sighed, looking at Olivia. “The reason I called you is that umm… well, I think it’d be a lot more cost-effective for you to re-cast me. We’ve barely shot one scene with me. I’ll be out of commission for two weeks, as a minimum. It could get worse. And I’m definitely not going to be back before I get two negative consecutive tests.”

      Olivia shook her head, running down her hands over her face and then through her hair. “Y/N, I really don’t want to do this. There’s a reason we cast you. You’re amazing, and yours and Harry’s chemistry is off the charts. We’re all quarantining for two weeks, and I’m sure you’ll be fine in no time, back on set and killing it like you always do.”

      “You don’t know that.”

      “Of course, I do! Nothing’s gonna happen to you.”

      “All I’m saying it could take up to a month to get those two negative tests. By that point, you could’ve shot at least a fourth of my scenes. Olivia…” Y/N gave her a small, sad smile. “I know you know I’m right. I hate to pass on this, but I won’t hinder the production. If you want my input, I’ll help with the re-casting, if it takes the guilt away.”

      “I still feel like shit this is an option we even have to consider.”

      “’S not your fault. You didn’t get me sick. We should be happy it’s just me, not someone else or more than one person.”

            ***

      For two more days, it was radio silence from Y/N, and Harry and Florence were anxious messes. If they could distract themselves from the falling out while on set, then now, having to be cooped up inside the apartment with pretty much nothing to do, was so much worse, not to mention Y/N declined all of their calls and left their messages on read, leaving the only option for checking in either through Anna or what she decided to share on her social media, which wasn’t a lot. But the thing was, Harry knew his best bet was to call Y/N in the middle of the night. Disorientated and barely awake, she probably wouldn’t look at the caller ID once. And he was right.

      A bleary face appeared on his screen, eyes squinting as she tried to block out as much of the light as possible. “Hello?” Her voice was scratchy, and Harry’s heart clenched at just how much pain her throat must be in, let alone how she was feeling as a whole.

      “Hey, there, lovie.”

      It took her a second to comprehend the person who was speaking, and she’d be lying if she said hearing Harry’s voice didn’t bring her some sort of joy. “Hey, H. Are you alright? Why are you still up?”

      “I couldn’t sleep. Kept thinking about you.”

      Y/N hummed, rolling on her side, and immediately regretting it as the action elicited a coughing fit. “Yeah?” she asked hoarsely. “ ’Nd what about me?”

      ‘How shitty I feel about everything’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m so fucking terrified’, but instead he asked, “How are you doing?”

      “Alright,” Y/N croaked out before her body was racked with coughs once more. Harry’s own chest hurt just hearing them. “Fever’s finally down, so I’m getting some sort of sleep. Throat’s killing me though, and they’ve hooked me up to an IV. They’ll be coming in two hours or so to change the bag. How are you?” she asked quietly. “How’s Florence?”

      “She’s alright. Upset. Just like I am.”

      Y/N’s brows furrowed. “Why’re you upset?”

      “Are you kidding me? You’re sick, alone in quarantine and… and we can’t help you. I can’t help you.”

      A genuine chuckle escaped her. “Didn’t know you had a medical degree, Styles. Could be my personal nurse. Fetch me my water and shit.”

      “No, but at least I’d like to be there for you.”

      “Harry…” 

      “I like you,” he said after taking a deep breath, hoping that the break he’d heard in Y/N’s voice as she’d said his name wasn’t just because of the sickness, but because her heart thudded just as fast as his when he thought of them together, that her mind reeled with the possibilities of where their futures could take them and that whenever they touched, she could feel the electricity that ran through his fingertips, igniting his whole body. “That’s what Florence and I were whispering about all the time. Is that I’m madly crushing on you, and I couldn’t gather the courage to say it to you.”

      A strong coughing fit made her drop the phone on the bed and lean over, as she gasped for breath, and through it all, all Harry wanted was to be there. Fuck him possibly getting the virus, as long as he could make it easier for her in some way. 

      “ ’M sorry,” Y/N whispered, trying to keep her voice as low as possible as to not aggravate her throat. “Harry, I’m so sorry.”

      “Hey, there’s nothing to apologise. You’re sick, you can’t help –”

      “No,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry I assumed you and Florence were talking bad behind my back. I never should’ve done that. And this is not an excuse, I’m not trying to shift the blame from being in the wrong, but I like you too.” She gave him a shy grin that he thought was as bright as the sun. “I really like you too, Harry. I think that’s why it hurt so much to hear you two whispering ‘bout something. And thinking it was about me, and it was something bad, hurt even more, ‘cause I really connected with Flo, and I kinda, well I kind of fell for you. Hard.”

      “You did?” His tone was like he didn’t believe what his ears were hearing.

      “Yeah. A lot actually… I – I really like you, Harry.”

      He couldn’t explain how his heart expanded in his chest while simultaneously was being crushed by his inability to help, by the distance between them, while the hope that glimmered in his eyes at Y/N’s words made her heart break as much as his was, when he asked, “So you won’t resign?”

“Harry,” Y/N made her voice as tough as it could sound with her condition. “I told them to re-cast me not because of you. I’ve been on enough sets and worked with enough pricks, and still gotten the job done. Genuinely, this is not because of you or Florence. I just – I just don’t want to hold up production. You’ll all be out in what – twelve days or something? I’ll be here for at least twice that, if everything goes the way it’s going right now.”

      “I don’t want anyone else to play Larie. You are my Larie,” he muttered, which made Y/N smile, but in a true Y/N fashion she just wanted to make others feel better. 

      “You do know Jack murders Larie in the middle of the night.”

      Harry’s mouth opened like a fishes’ while Y/N’s mouth pulled up in a grin. “That’s – that’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

      Both of them were laughing now, all tension having evaporated. 

      “I know.” She bit on her lower lip. “But um… we’ve gotta be practical. I sent Olivia my resignation letter already, and she signed.”

      She saw Harry sigh and throw back his head at her words. 

      “ ’M sorry, Haz. I didn’t want to but –”

      “I know.” His smile was gentle, understanding. “You always put everyone before yourself. God, this just sucks major ass.”

      “Trust me,” Y/N started before being interrupted by another major coughing fit. “I –,” she took in a breath. “I know.”

      Her heart cracked seeing Harry’s face and his green eyes, the eyes she’d gotten lost in more times than she’d ever admitted being lined by tears. “I wish I could help you.”

      “But you are. Just by – by talking to me, by keeping my mind off things. You’re helping me more than you’ll ever know.”

      “When you get out, I’m taking you on a date.”

      Y/N couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on her face. For the first time in a while, she felt good, despite being sick. “Is that a threat, Styles?”

      “It’s a fucking promise.”

      That night she fell asleep listening to Harry talking, seeing as it became harder and harder for her to do so, so he just took over, telling her stories that lulled her to dreamland where he was there, and she could touch him. 

      The following days she also had calls with Florence and the rest of her cast to explain the situation, but she wasn’t doing much talking anymore, and one night they’d even seen her almost throw up from coughing so much, which broke everyone’s hearts. They were lucky the only Covid case before Y/N had been a light one, so witnessing just how brutal it could be, made everyone appreciate what they had, but at the same time, feel as helpless as ever.

      A week and a half in, that was when shit really hit the fan. Despite her feeling shitty the previous days, now Y/N woke up from the feeling as if she was drowning. She’d fallen asleep while talking with Harry on FaceTime, his features illuminated on her phone. At first, she thought it was just her dream still lingering and causing that effect, but when after a minute or so her lungs still remained on fire, she knew she had to dial the doctors.

      In five minutes’ time, an ambulance was at her door, and it was a miracle she’d been able to get out of bed to open it because the second she did, her whole body pretty much collapsed into the arms of one of the nurses. 

*** 

      “Come on,” Harry muttered into the phone, pulling on a pair of trousers as quickly as possible and a knitted sweater he took from the floor as he immediately tried to redial her, having heard the call drop. “Come on! Pick up, Y/N!” Her voicemail answered instead.

      “Damn it!”

      It took Harry seven minutes with the way he was driving to get to her assigned isolation place, only to be greeted by red and blue flashing lights, an ambulance right in front of the entrance, and it took Harry five seconds to feel his heart drop as a team of three doctors wheeled out a gurney on which lay Y/N, face covered in a mask, an IV stuck inside her arm while a huge plastic cover domed over her body.

      Without even thinking about himself or his safety, Harry jumped out of his car, rushing towards the ambulance.

      “Sir.” One of the doctors extended a palm towards him, keeping him back as Harry tried to get towards the inside of the car. “Sir, you can’t be here.”

      “Is that Y/N?” Harry felt like he was spinning out of control, and his mind was dizzy from not being able to take in a proper breath. “Is – is that Y/N?” 

      “Are you family?”

      “I –,” Harry so desperately wanted to say yes, to say he was her boyfriend at least, but he couldn’t lie. “No, I’m just her collegue – friend! I’m her friend. Is she alright?”

      “Okay, well is there anyone we can contact from her family?”

      Harry nodded, knowing that her mum and dad were on her emergency contact lists. “But her family is out of the country, and they won’t be able to fly out with all the restrictions in place.”

      “Alright.” The doctor sighed before looking back inside the car. In a way, Harry was happy he couldn’t see Y/N because he was sure if he did, he’d completely break down and crumble to the ground. “We’ll contact her parents, but if you could leave us your number as an emergency contact on place that’d be a lot of help.”

      “Okay, uh…” Harry took in a deep breath, held it for five seconds and then let it out before reciting the number he used while in the USA and his permanent UK number as well, so he could be reachable anywhere and at any point in day or night, no matter the time. 

      “Well keep you up to date.”

      And with that, the ambulance doors shut, and they rushed away, the vailing of sirens echoing in the dark night, leaving Harry with a hand in his hair, tears streaming down his cheeks and without a clue as to what to do.

***

      In the end, Harry had gone back to his car and cried for what felt like ages, but instead, it was just twenty minutes. He pulled himself together but was still shaking as he made his way back to the flat where Florence basically ripped open the door. Seeing his face told her everything she needed to know.

      “She’ll be alright,” the woman muttered as she soothed Harry by rubbing a palm up and down his back, letting him hide his face in her shoulder. “It’s Y/N. She’d pull through an atomic bomb.”

      They spent the rest of the night and the following day on the couch, glued to Harry’s phone waiting for any sort of updates. From time to time a text message came from the hospital letting them know what procedures were being done on Y/N, that her parents have been informed, and if necessary, they’d allowed Harry to be the main contact person because of his proximity to their daughter.

      Three days later and the quarantine for the rest of the cast and crew ended, yet when they returned to the set, everyone was in low spirits. Especially, Harry – he was miserable. Every moment spent not reciting lines or acting was occupied with the thoughts of Y/N, how she was doing, was she improving, was she still breathing, how he wanted to just ditch everything and run to her, to help in whatever way he could.

      “This sucks,” Florence grumbled, arms crossed over her chest as they took a break while re-setting already in for the fifth day of filming, eight since Y/N’d been in the hospital. “Can’t believe they won’t allow a phone in with her.”

      “It’s the same policy for everyone, but trust me,” Harry sighed and looked up at the bright blue sunny sky above. “The number of times I got out of my bed in the middle of the night and had the car keys in hand is ridiculous. And the number of times I’ve thought about breaking into that hospital is even more concerning.”     

      Florence let out a small chuckle and nudged his shoulder. “I’d cover for you if you did. As long as she doesn’t have to be there alone.” She hung her head, blond strands falling down to curtain her face. “Can’t imagine how scared she must be.”

      Harry just sighed. There really wasn’t anything he could say. 

      Something vibrated in his pocket, but he no longer furrowed his brows when unknown numbers called, knowing it was from the hospital. It was nerve-wracking though to pick up the call each time because he had to mentally prepare himself for the possibility of bad news, even though he always hoped for good ones. 

      “Yes, hi. Hello. I – oh,” he put a hand over his mouth and sagged down onto a chair. “Oh, thank god, thank you, doctor. Yeah. Yes, I’ll let her know, and someone will be there to open the flat. Thank you again. For everything.”

      He took away the phone from his ear and stared at the ground for a minute before leaping up and hugging Florence, laughter escaping his mouth.

      “What’s wrong?”

      “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, it’s the opposite. Y/N’s out of the hospital.”

      “Oh thank god!” Her hands flew to hug him back.

      “She’ll have to stay in self-isolation until the two negative tests and will be monitored by the doctors, but she’s out.”

        Immediately he was dialling her, and Harry had never been as happy for the invention of a video call, because when he saw Y/N’s face light up the screen, as tired as she looked, it was the most beautiful sight that graced his eyes.

      “Hey, lovie.” His voice was soft and low as if anything louder would worsen her state.

      Her ‘hey’ was barely audible, but he heard it, and it made the weight of a boulder drop off his shoulders.

      “I’m so – I mean we all are so happy you’re back home.”

      Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “I’m happy too,” she whispered. “I missed you. Missed everyone, but most of all I missed you.”

      Harry was happy they were separated by a screen because if she was anywhere in a five-mile radius, he was sure she would be able to hear his heart beat out of his ribcage at her words. “How are you feeling?”

      “ ‘M alright,” Y/N tried to let him know. “Very tired.”

      “Then get back to sleep, lovie.”

      Y/N shook her head. “Wanna talk to you.”

      “I’ll keep talking,” Harry promised. “Like we did before, okay.”

      “Okay…”

      And so, he did. He kept talking as Y/N listened, and he watched as her eyes slowly closed before she drifted off to sleep. Even though Harry had to go back to filming, he didn’t dare end the call. He’d never end the call. 

***

      It took a month and a half for Y/N to get those two consecutive negative tests, to feel somewhat human again and when she did, she probably garnered at least seven speeding tickets with how fast she was driving down to the set.

      It was the most inconspicuous outfit she could scramble together, consisting of a hoodie and baseball cap, as she watched Harry as Jack lean down to peck the actress’s lips, then step into the vintage car and rev out in the driveway, while a dishevelled Florence started the scene from the side, eyes racking over Jack’s first wife, who was dressed the exact same way, hair styled like hers and even nails painted the same, her character putting all the puzzle pieces together. 

      “And cut!” Olivia yelled across the lot, nudging Y/N’s side and giving her a smirk. “He’s gonna freak. You’re all he’s been talking about on set. We almost had to put a ban on you as a topic,” she muttered that part so only the woman could hear while telling everyone to re-set, so they could do the scene from another angle, but not before asking the three actors to come and look at the monitors so they could understand how to move in order to keep the continuity.

      Y/N moved to the side, ducking her head down as Harry, Florence and Mandy, the actress that took over her role, all leaned closer to watch the monitors. Y/N had to bite on her lip to keep the grin away, as all of them analysed their movements and the scene, nodding along to what Olivia was saying.

      “Y/L/N, what do you think?” Olivia asked, grinning. 

      Y/N stepped forward a bit, seeing all of their shocked faces through her peripheral, as she pointed to the screen, lifting her head so that everyone could see her face fully. “I think it’s great, you might want to step to the side a bit more, Harry, when –” but she was unable to finish the sentence as he swooped her in his arms, lifting her basically off the ground, and burying his face in her neck.

      “Watch the hair! Daniele will have a fit if you ruin her masterpiece!” Y/N laughed, holding one of her hands on the base of his neck, the other tightly wrapped around his shoulders, but he just shook his head, and she could feel tears splash her skin.

      “Fuck the hair!” He let out a small chuckle, and she could hear the lump in his throat. “I’ve missed you so much. I was so scared.”

      “Same,” Y/N whispered. “Missed you like crazy. And your stupid, unfunny dad jokes.”

      “ ‘M hilarious, lovie, what are you talking about?”

      He finally set her down but didn’t let go of her waist, and she smiled cupping his cheeks. “A true comedian, that’s what you are.”

      “I know. Why’dya think I got that SNL slot?”

      But his eyes, as he gazed into hers once more glassed over.

      “Hey,” Y/N cooed wiping away the tears running down his cheeks. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, cause then I’ll cry, and we’re both gonna be crying messes, and then these guys will have to deal with that.”

      Harry sighed, leaning into her touch. “Happy tears, lovie. All happy tears.”

      The two looked at one another as if there was no one else in the universe. And for the two of them, there really wasn’t. Neither had to say what was on their minds, they already knew.

      His face was inching closer to Y/N’s, and heart started to beat erratically, not that Harry minded, as his palm rested in the middle of her back. In fact, his own heart mimicked the rhythm, but it stuttered when someone behind him cleared their throat and interrupted their moment.

      Y/N hid her face in Harry’s chest as he sighed at Olivia’s raised eyebrow. 

      “You’ll be able to smooch as much as you want, but we need him in hair and make-up.”

      “Oli-“

      “Now,” she let out a small laugh. “Before Daniele removes my head from my shoulders.”

      “Go,” Y/N patted his side. “I’ll still be here.”

      “Is that a threat?”

      She grinned up at him. “A fucking promise.”

      Harry dashed away like lightning, hoping that the quicker he was done, the sooner he could have Y/N back in his arms even if it was for a second, but her attention was taken by a woman with long blond curls, a flowing green slip on her figure; her steps unsure as was the wave she gave her, but Y/N’s heart melted at the sight of her.

      “Hey, Flo,” she whispered and brought the girl in a bone-crushing hug, holding onto her, trying to convey how much she regretted her words and actions, especially because they were unwarranted.

      “I’m so sorry,” Y/N said, and she nodded.

      “Me too.”

      Y/N shook her head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

      “And I should’ve made sure Harry pulled his head out of his ass.”

      That made both of them laugh, and it was nice to do it not only without having to cough up her insides, but to do it with someone she’d connected with and had become great friends with.

      “He did that. I just hope if he wants to make another move, it won’t take me dying to push him to.”

      Florence pointed at her, a serious look on her face. “I’ll kill him with my bare hands if he does.”

      A small noise of someone clearing their throat from behind Y/N took both of their attentions for them to go onto the actress who’d been cast as her replacement, the woman coming forward and extending her hand for a handshake with a nervous smile. “Hi. I’m Mandy.”

      “ ‘S very nice to meet you.” Y/N tried to give off as open and accepting of a vibe as much as possible, because she genuinely wanted Mandy to feel respected and that she wasn’t a threat. “Before you think anything if you’re worried about me taking the role, don’t. It’s all yours, so don’t worry about that. I just stopped by ‘cause I hadn’t seen anyone in almost two months. Never thought I’d say this, but fuck did I missed people.”

      Mandy shook her head, her smile a lot lighter and brighter now. “I – uh thank you for that actually. I’m a huge fan of yours, and well, can only try and live up to what you would’ve portrayed.”

      “Well, I’m sure you’ll absolutely kill it, and I can’t wait for the movie.”

      It was great to see Mandy’s shoulders drop in relief. “Would it be too much if I asked for advice on the role?”

      “No,” Y/N laughed. “But I would say that you should make this role your own. It is yours. You are Larie now. And Harry’s Jack. Make it yours.”

      As she said that, she turned to watch Harry who was practically bouncing on his feet, green eyes flitting back to where she was standing, and when their gazes met, neither could help the smiles blooming on their faces.

       “You know he messed up a scene once and said your name?”    

      Y/N’s brows furrowed as she looked over at Mandy. “What do you mean ‘said my name’?”

      “It was a kissing scene. The wedding bit, actually. As Jack and Larie recited their vows, and he leans down to kiss her, he was supposed to say, ‘I’ll love you Larie, until the very end’. He said your name instead.”

      That hit Y/N more than a semi-truck wheeling a ton of bricks would. Yes, she knew Harry liked her, and he knew she liked him, but love was a big word, and for him to admit that, whether it was a flub or not, was even bigger.

      Harry was a private person. While he openly talked about what he felt, he guarded heart at the same time, much like Y/N did. But she had to wait until Olivia yelled cut for the day, and had to watch him make a mad dash for hair and make-up before running to the dressing trailer as he didn’t want to miss out on a second he could spend with her. Even as they walked up to their shared flat and he opened the door, his fingers stayed intertwined with hers.

      “How does it feel to be back?”

      “Kinda shitty, honestly,” Y/N laughed throwing the keys to the table and shrugging out of the jacket and taking off the cap, Harry immediately helping her and putting it on one of the racks. “I’ll have to move out, now that I’m not part of the movie.”

      “Why? ‘S not like the production is paying our rent, we’re doing it out of our own pocket.”

      “Yes, but now that I don’t have a job, I kinda need to look for one.”

      “And what says that you can’t live here while you do that?”

      “I –,” Y/N’s brows furrowed. “I mean nothing, really… I just… kinda thought because I’m not part of the movie anymore it’d be safer if I found my own place. But um… I think I have something else I’d like to talk about. Mandy,” Y/N dragged out her name a bit, a sly smirk appearing on her face, “told me you had a flub on set.”

      Harry’s heart was pounding underneath her palm where she’d grabbed onto the lapels of his dress shirt, so he couldn’t run away. 

“I’ve uh,” he let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve had a couple of flubs on set. Who hasn’t?”

      “I don’t doubt that. But she said you misspoke a name.”

      She made him look into her eyes and wouldn’t dare let their gaze break. “You said my name during the wedding scene. You said Y/N. Not Larie.”

      Harry looked like a cross between a deer in headlights and a fish out of the water, eyes wide with his mouth opening and closing, no sound coming out, which made Y/N worry a bit.

      She placed a palm against his cheek. “Harry? You alright?”

      “I – I meant it.” He let out a deep sigh and leaned down to press his forehead to hers. “And when I thought back on it, I don’t remember seeing her face or Larie’s face. It was yours. And the lips I was kissing belonged to you too. I was holding your hand, and you were holding mine. And I know it’s way too quick, for a wedding -”

      “Unless you threaten me with it –”

      “I –,” Harry stuttered before laughing, all tension evaporating from his body. “No, that I don’t want to be a threat. That will be a question asked with love and hopefully an answer given to it the same way.”

      Y/N nudged his nose with hers. “Well, we’ll see. I mean if you don’t kiss me what makes you th–,” 

      But she didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence before his lips were on hers, pressing with such gentleness, it made her weak at the knees, and she would’ve crumbled if Harry’s arms handn’t woven around her middle, fingers pressing into the sides, the pressure increasing with each second their mouths were connected. 

      Harry’s hand drifted up Y/N’s back and settled on her neck as if he could pull her any closer, her own palms slipping over his stomach, pecks and grabbing onto his jaw, fingers lightly scratching at the stubble that’d grown throughout the day. He had to shave every morning for the role of Jack, but each evening she’d see a small, darkened shadow across his skin, and Y/N would be lying that when she’d realised her attraction to him, she hadn’t thought about how delicious it would feel to have it leave small burn marks on the inside of her thighs. 

      Unconsciously, she clenched her thighs, trying to create some sort of friction which became more and more unbearable as she felt Harry moan into her mouth, tongue sweeping against her lower lip, asking for permission without words, which Y/N granted without a second to spare. 

      It was heavenly to have him so close to her. She did wonder if the sensation was intensified by the fact, she hadn’t been able to touch anyone properly for almost two months, but that thought vanished when his fingers skimmed underneath her hoodie, brushing against her heated skin. No. It was because it was Harry.

       “I –,” he was breathless as he pulled away, but Y/N didn’t let him get too far, her lips attaching themselves to his neck, making him groan in pleasure. “I don’t want to push this too far.”

      Her brows scrunched up, as she took a look at him. “What do you mean? If you think I don’t want this, then let me be perfectly clear – I do. A lot.”

      Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so fucking glad you do, but… Y/N you just got out of the hospital, where you were on a ventilator. I don’t want to make anything worse.”

      “Not your choice to make.” A devious smile appeared on her face, as she stepped a few feet away and lifted her hoodie over her head, making Harry inhale sharply. “So here are your two options.” Her hands went behind her back, unclasping her bra and letting it slowly drop to the floor, the green eyes that hadn’t left her now wide as saucers. “Number one.” She toed off her boots and popped open the button of her jeans. “We can stop this, obviously, just say the word, and I get to my room, start packing and looking for a new place. We can have some dinner and just chill. Or number two.” Y/N hooked her jeans behind her thumbs and slowly dragged them down her legs, revealing more and more of herself to Harry. “We can go inside your room and make up for the lost time. In every position imaginable, for as long as you want. But.” Y/N’s eyes glimmered with mischief as she made her way to Harry’s room. “I don’t think you wanna take the first option.”

      Harry ran a hand through his hair, turning it from the meticulously gelled hairstyle into a mop of messy strands. “You know you’re making it really hard for me to be a gentleman.”

      Y/N swayed her hips a bit more as she took another step closer to his room, the door meeting her back, and one of her hands went to the doorknob, pressing down on it. “Well, a gentleman doesn’t kiss before the first date, and definitely not like that.”

      He stood there, hands on his hips, eyes not leaving her body, as she cocked her head. “So, what’s it gonna be?”

      They were ten torturous seconds for both, hearts beating out of their chests, but it only took three steps for Harry to cross the hallway, his hand sneaking behind Y/N’s back and pressing down on the doorknob as well, revealing the inside of his room. It was messy, much like her own, but it wouldn’t take too much to rip all off the tossed around bedding leaving a whole bed to themselves. 

      “You. Are. The. Devil.”

      Her smile was nothing short of wicked. “I mean you can listen to the angel on your shoulder.”

      “I’d rather listen to you.”

      Together they stepped inside, and Y/N nodded. “Making good choices already.”

      “Can’t get on your bad side, can I now?”

      “I mean you can.” Her legs hit the back of his bed and she fell down on it, Harry leaning over, resting his elbows next to her head. “But bad boys get punished.”

      His nose skimmed over hers. Now he was the one smiling like a devil. “I’ll hold you to your word. For future reference, that is.”

      That kiss was nothing like their first. This was messy, and passionate, all tongue and teeth, hands grabbing everywhere possible to get the other unclothed. Or at least that’s what Y/N was trying to do, seeing as she was pretty much naked already, and Harry was the one still wearing too much.

      Her hands pretty much ripped open the shirt. It one of his expensive Gucci ones, she was quite certain of it, but it didn’t seem like he cared, as he shrugged it off, throwing it to land somewhere on the floor.

      Y/N sighed into his mouth as her hands were now freely allowed to run over his chest, over the ink embedded into his skin, over taut muscles that relaxed under her touch, and dig into his sides in an attempt to leave her own marks on him, much like he was going to do to her. 

      “Think you can take your pants off? It’s only fair.” Y/N muttered into his mouth and his own travelled down to her cheek, then neck and to her chest.

      “You mean my trousers?”

      Her lips quirked up and she shrugged her shoulders. “No, in this case, I meant pants the British way.”

      “And if I’m going commando?”

      Y/N pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him away from her. “You had nothing underneath all day on set?”

      “No! I wouldn’t subject the dressing department to that. But underneath this.” He looked down at his jeans and smiled at her. “I do have nothing.”

      “Well then? Get on with it!”

      Both of them were giggling, as Y/N tried to unbuckle Harry’s belt, his own fingers mixing with hers as he went for the zipper and the button. He nudged his head towards her. “Your socks and pants come off as well. Or we’ll be unevenly matched.”

      Y/N lifted her eyebrow, as she went for her own remaining pieces of clothing. “No socks during sex?”

      “No, what kind of a weirdo do you think I am?”

      “And if my feet get cold?” She threw them away somewhere.

      “We have a blanket.”

      As Harry removed his jeans and his own socks, Y/N slipped off the dampened piece of clothing that’d been on her, now both of them completely naked. 

      “Alright.” He leaned over her again, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling them chest to chest. “Happy now?”

      Y/N deeply kissed him. “Very. But I think we can make each other even happier.”

      “Agreed,” Harry hummed. “Wanna get a taste first.” He attached his lips to her collarbones sucking a bruise there. “Can I?”

      She groaned at the feeling, knowing there be a pleasant ache that accompanied mark. “You can. Don’t have to, if you don’t want. No need to do this for me.”

      “And if it’s for me?” Harry was moving lower and lower with each word, wet tongue flicking against a perked bud, and making Y/N gasp. “What if I wanna feel you cum on my tongue, and what if I wanna do something I’ve dreamed about for months now?”

      His hands were kneading her breasts, mouth having left a trail of kisses down the middle of her stomach as it was moving towards where an ache that’d been left untreated made itself more and more prominent. 

“Then please, please, please do something, Harry.”

      “With pleasure.”

      Luckily for Y/N, she didn’t have to beg any more, as his mouth attached itself to where she wanted him most, tongue sweeping past her lower lips and licking up a broad, steady stripe.

      One of her hands went to fist into her hair and the other into Harry’s. “Shit,” she moaned. “Fuck, that feels good.”

      “Guide me.” He licked a circle around her clit. “Tell me how you like it.”

      “Mhgm, fuck, okay,” Y/N breathed out. “I – I mean you’re doing great on your own.” Her chest was heaving as if she was running a marathon, and Harry shifted her legs so that they lay over his shoulders. “But umm, like if you lick around my clit, but like really press down li – oh, fuuuuck, just like that.”

      The coil in her stomach tightened with each pass he did, just like Y/N had instructed, small tight circles just how she did with her fingers, only what took her sometimes half an hour, Harry managed to do in less than ten minutes, to have her toes curling and hands grasping anywhere they could find purchase to just keep onto something real.

      The vibrations from Harry humming sent shivers straight to her core. “What else, lovie? What else, do you like?”

      “If – if –,” Y/N panted, “if you suck on it, but like – fuck – shit! If you kinda keep a seal around my clit, that fuck! Yes!”

      The way Harry was eating her out was almost sensational, but what made it even better wasn’t that he just decided to do something and assumed, she’d like it, he asked, he wanted to learn and discover what made her tick and turn, or in this case – cum. 

      “Harry, ‘m close,” Y/N warned him, feeling the warmth slowly start to spread all throughout her body. 

      “I’ll get you there.”

      He let his lips go for a moment before slipping two of his fingers so that they pinched her clit and moved them slowly but tightly up and down it, while his tongue went to slip inside her hole, and that did it for her.

      With a gasp of air, Y/N’s eyes rolled to be back of her head, hips lifting up as euphoria exploded through her veins. Her mind went completely dizzy, and she was quite sure some drool also dribbled down the side of her mouth because she’d lost all ability to function.

      “ -o me, love,” Y/N heard as if through a fog, and then felt two soothing palms running up and down her legs. “Come back, love. There you go.”

      A drunken smile bloomed on her face, and she ran a hand down it, the same hand that’d grabbed Harry’s hair like a vice. “Fuck. You’re good, you know what you’re doing.”

      “Well, I’m certainly glad you enjoyed yourself because I thoroughly enjoyed myself.”

      She watched as he straightened out to sit on his knees, her legs still over his shoulders, cock slapping against his stomach, and when she looked down there was a wet patch on his side of the sheets, a sly grin morphing on her face. “You liked eating me out so much you came yourself?”

      “What can I say – bringing pleasure, gives me pleasure. And your cunt’s probably the sweetest I’ve ever eaten. But… do you think you’re ready for me?” Harry asked, kissing the inside of Y/N’s thighs and watching as she vigorously nodded her head, but he just smirked. “I think I need to test it out. Just to make sure.”

       “Harry,” Y/N whined as she felt his fingers skim the apex of her thighs, teasing her. 

      “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

      With that, he used one of his hands to open up her lips, his thumb pressing down on her already sensitive clit, eliciting a gasp before he allowed two fingers to skim her entrance and then slipped in.

      “Still so tight,” he said, watching as Y/N sighed and her mouth fell open, his fingers curling in a come-hither motion. “Told you needed to check if you were ready. What kind of a gentleman would I be now, if I didn’t make sure you could take it?”

      Y/N gritted her teeth. “I can take you.”

      “Don’t doubt it.” Harry left kisses along her leg, as he continued on with his movements, noting how her hips slowly started to grind down on his palm, so he pushed his fingers in deeper so that the heel of his hand could rest against her clit, making the pleasure intensify. “But I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you when all I wanna do is give you pleasure. And you weren’t stretched out enough. Not yet at least.”

      “Oh, god, Harry,” Y/N groaned, one arm thrown over her eyes as his fingers hit just the right spot.

      “That’s it? Right there?”

      “Yes, right there,” she moaned. “Just. Fuck! Just don’t stop, please, don’t stop.”

      “Gonna cum again?”

      “Yes, just – just curl your fingers and twist them a bit more.”

      And much like the first time, a couple more times was all it took. Her orgasm was even more powerful than the previous and fully knocked her breath out of her lungs. Her legs fell open around his shoulders, stomach and chest spasming from the intensity. 

      Gentle fingers skimmed up and down Y/N’s arms and featherlight kisses fluttered over her breasts, then chest, neck and finally were peppered across her cheeks.

      “Kinda spaced out on me there. You alright? Not too much?”

      “ ’M – I’m good. But I’m pretty sure you’ve killed me.”

      Harry chuckled, and Y/N leaned her head to the side so she could press a kiss against the closest of the swallow tattoos. “Hopefully not. I still wanna take you out on that date.”

      Her eyes landed on Harry’s left hand’s ring finger, where a golden band still laid. 

      “Oh, yeah.” He lifted the digits, still covered in her cum before pushing them past his lips and licking them clean. “Forgot to remove it. Hope the prop guys don’t kill me.”

      She hated how his eyes sparkled, absolutely knowing what that sight did to her, how it made her stomach flutter and heart thunder against her ribs. Y/N was sure with the force it was pounding, they’d crack. 

      “Well, if they don’t, I will.” She pulled him down, nails raking on his skin, dragging to rest on his ass as they bit into it. “Now get inside me.”

      “Condom.”

      “No, ‘m on the pill.”

      “I’m clean, I swear, but it’s still not a hundred per cent safe.”

      Y/N shook her head. “I’ll buy the morning-after pill. Just need you inside.”

      “You sure?” Harry placed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

      “Yeah. I mean I’m clean, and uh… I just wanna feel you.”

      He’d cum once already, and Harry would be dammed if he did it again before having the chance to know how heaven feels like. As gently as possible, he took himself, giving a few strokes before nudging the tip against Y/N’s clit, her sharp inhale stalling him until she nodded. 

      Her nails dug into his biceps, as he finally slipped inside her, making both of them moan at the feeling. Even with all of the stretching out he’d done with his fingers, and the two orgasms he’d drawn from her, the slickness helping everything to be easy and smooth, Y/N still felt a little sting.

      Harry’s head dropped to Y/N’s shoulders and even from under him, she could feel his thighs and stomach shaking, as he tried to hold his composure and give her a little bit of time to adjust.

      A couple of deep breaths later, she tapped his ribs. “You can move now.”

      “ ‘ya sure?”

      “Mhm,” Y/N nodded her head and pecked his lips reassuringly. “Please.”

      His dishevelled and sweaty hair shook as he nodded and slowly drew back his hips so that just the tip of his cock remained in her before gliding back inside. The sight alone was more than enough to make both of them explode, but they wanted to last longer than thirty seconds, especially for their first time together. There’d be quickies for later, now they wanted to have a proper shag.

      Bit by bit, Harry’s pace quickened, pearls of sweat gliding down his skin and dampening the sheets below them, much like it was with Y/N. Her leg slid up to rest around his hips, giving him a better angle and more leverage for him to strike the right spot, as he pushed her knee to rest against her chest, Y/N’s head falling back to the pillow.

      Her insides were shaking from the pleasure, and it was like an invisible force was pushing down on her chest, as she struggled for a proper breath. “Harry,” she dragged out his name, the word turning into a high-pitched whine.

      “I know,” he responded in the same breathless voice. He could feel her tighten around him and wasn’t sure just how much longer he’d be able to keep up the pace. “Touch yourself ‘f me, lovie. C’mon, use those fingers.”

      Y/N did as she was told. It didn’t give her that butterfly feeling like it’d happened when they’d been Harry’s, but it did make her cum faster, and the sensation of her gushing around his cock made him lose all self-control and he spilled inside.

      It wasn’t enough for Y/N, but she guessed she needed to settle for it. She knew that nothing really ever touched in the universe, that the closest atoms ever come to touching one another is when their wave packets overlap, much like she and Harry were now overlapping, his body lying on top of hers, skin sweaty and frame trembling as he came down from his own high.

      “I uh,” Y/N cleared her throat, finger tracing the outline of one of the butterfly in the middle of Harry’s chest. “When the people came to get my stuff, I umm, asked them to take your rainbow cardigan. Wanted something that smelled like you, so I didn’t feel so alone. Was the first thing I put on when I got out of my hospital gown.”

      She felt his body rumble with laughter and a kiss being pressed to her forehead. “I know. Saw Anna stash it inside the suitcase. I uh, I was the one who also put in one of my sweaters. Know how cold you always get.”

      She hid her smile against his collarbones. “Thank you. For thinking of me.”

      “ 'M always thinking of you… Will you knit me one though?”

      Y/N raised her eyebrow. “Knit you one?”

      “Yes. I know you knit –“

      “Everyone knits nowadays.”

      Harry drew himself back a bit, and she pushed away the matted down strands from his forehead, wiping away the sweat from underneath his green eyes as well. “Yes, but the point is – there’ll be a million other Gucci shirts and sweaters and cardigans. But I’d like to have one-of-a-kind made by you. So, I have something to sleep next to when you’re not next to me.”

      Y/N ran a finger along his jawline, biting away her grin. “It’ll probably have mistakes. I’m not that good at it. ‘M not a professional.”

      “Exactly.” Harry tilted her head up with a finger and their eyes met. “Which is why it’ll be perfect.”

      “The arms will most likely be different lengths in the end.”

      “Don’t worry, darling.” He pecked her lips before hugging her and not letting go. “It’s flawless for me.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15​ @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64​ @supernaturalbaesduh​ @breezy1415​ @crazy--me​ @thatawkwardlittlefangirl​ @sea040561​ @staryeyedgirl​ @deathbyarabbit​ @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83​ @in-the-end-im-still-trash​ @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog​ @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

A/N: My tags are always open :)

P.S. please don’t repost my work without specific written permission onto other platforms :)

[wizkiddx]

hiiiii i love your stuff - could u do one where the readers ill but they have stuff to do and tom has to look after her. maybe if they were just friends before too but both pining? thankuuuuuuuuu

should I be writing this instead of revising? clearly fucking not. Did I make this little blurb req ridiculously long purely to procrastinate? Of fucking course.

but also this was v cute! I assumed u meant famous!reader, sorry if that's not what u were after at all anon x

summary: Tom Holland turns into the readers knight in shining armour when they get ill during promo

warnings: fainting / feeling ill

///////////////////

It couldn’t be today. Of all days, why today? You’d been at home for two weeks doing absolutely nothing, before this trip. And yet it’s when your itinerary is packed to the brim, people moving heaven and earth just speak to you. Two weeks of unrelenting press for Marvels next big ensemble movie. 

Your manager was speaking to you, reeling off a run down of todays activities but instead of listening you nodded along blankly - head rather cloudy with this heavy mist that was not shaking off, no matter how hard you tried. 

“You got that Y/n/n?” Lucy pointedly spoke, eyes almost physically knocking you backwards as if her eyeliner was battery rams. Fumbling with your thoughts, your answer wasn’t particularly cohesive earning you just a disappointed head shake. 

“I um… yeh I think. Who-who did you say I was paired up with?” 

“Y/n please for the love of god. Tom, like I said the past fifty times.” And to be fair to Lucy she wasn’t wrong. It was the first major major promo tour for the both of you and after just two days so far - you were both exhausted. She was more than allowed to be a bit short tempered. 

“But we-we hardly know each other? The chemistry won’t be there and-“

“As I said, I tried to re-jig it but Kevin is of the mind that acting is your job.” Her tone was sharp but as she glared across the opposing seats, in the little mini van Marvel had hired for you as transportation, her eyes softened. Lucy had been so wrapped up in her own stress she may have overlooked quite how gingerly you were sitting. By the time she had arrived at the hotel, your stylist had already managed to half save your ghoulish looking face, with sunken under eyes and tired skin, so it wasn’t so blatantly obvious how crap you were feeling.  “Is everything okay with you?” 

It felt pretty puny to say that the jet lag from flying to Tokyo had been weighing you down further than you wanted, or that the local cuisine top chefs had kindly prepared for you last night wasn’t siting well in your stomach. To be honest, even you thought it was just your body being a bit overdramatic. So in response, you put on your best happy-go-lucky face feigning a smile.

“No no I’m fine, just want to give the best interviews I can and you know…. I’m awkward as hell as it is, then pair me with the most talented actor that I share about two minutes of screen time with…it’ll be interesting.” 

The way Lucy reacted with a weird slow nod, eyebrows furrowed, meant it was quite apparent you had perhaps overplayed that one. Had you not been so over the day before it even began, you would’ve tried again to give a more believable act. But as you were, you turned your attention back out to the bustling streets of Tokyo and the high rise buildings bordering each pavement. 

You didnt have a problem with Tom, far from it in fact. Tom was hilarious and the times you had met him, you’d both built up this weird and sarcastic competitiveness with each other. It was a game of who could get the last laugh, each of you pushing each other with the Mickey taking just a little further. Of course, not in a malicious way, just the way you’d both lived pretty similar but parallel careers - when everyone drew comparisons between the both of you, it was nice to make it a joke. 

Like Tom you’d also started out on stage, had a ‘big break’ movie as a kid and then spent your teenage years on and off film sets - till marvel happened. Then everything blew up to epic proportions, changing your life forever. Actually, it was so similar to Tom’s story, plus the fact you were also from the south west of the UK. It was bizarre your paths hadn’t crossed more - He probably could’ve been a useful ally in the the whole ‘becoming famous’ thing. 

And yet, you could probably count on two hands the amount of conversations you’d had with him. 

Now that, that was the issue. Right from the beginning you learn what the press want and when you are publicising a movie you cater into it too. They’d all be asking for the insider scoop on set; what pranks you’d pulled on each other; what was the most annoying thing about each other. Which is hard if you’d only had 5 or 6 days actually on set together. 

By the time the cab had wormed its way through the Tokyo traffic and you arrived at the PR hotel, it was already 9:30 - making you 15 minutes late (blame it on the traffic). Instantly then you were ushered straight to the interview room for the evening, no chance of green room chat or grabbing a drink before. The place was stuffy, everything was draped with black curtains except the poster board that Tom was already sitting infront of. 

He’d scrubbed up well, no doubt about it. He was wearing statement-ish burgundy suit trousers, teamed with a black knitted but collared shirt thing - that was clearly tailor made for the man. As soon as he noticed you scurry into the room, his face broke out into a warm smile, jumping up to greet you in a friendly hug. It was brief, and as you pulled back you accidentally bumped your head on one of the overhanging lights. No doubt someone had spent a ridiculous amount of time configuring them so they were positioned perfectly, which you had just ruined with your big head. 

“Oh shit!” Tom just laughed in response, shaking his head slightly as he lead you the two steps across to your pre-positioned seats. 

“Making an entrance as always I see!”

“Yeh, you know me, a bit of chaos just to keep everyone on their toes.”

“Oh is that why you’re ‘fashionably late’” With a playful wiggle of his eyebrows, you just rolled your eyes, fidgeting on the chair to find a position that didnt aggravate  your stomach so much.

“I’m ready now though! What did I miss? Just having to pretend to be your friend for 15 minutes?” You stressed the words as though the thought of conversation with Tom was the absolute worst thing in the world - which you definetly didnt think. Scowling like you’d insulted his dog Tessa, it was almost visible how the cogs were turning in his head looking for a comeback. Unfortunately for him though, he was quickly shut up but the organiser bringing the first interviewer in . 

For what would, no doubt, be a long day. 

////

Everything had started off so well, the banter was flowing between you and Tom, no major spoilers revealed that meant Marvel would have to make the journalist disappear. It was once you hit an hour of back-to-back interviews that everything started to crack bit. Because yes, it had only been an hour but that was enough to exhaust you on this particular day. When Tom joked around you got slower and slower, similarly the  energy was zapped from your own answers. It’s not very compelling when someone says ‘you have to watch this movie’ in a monotonous voice with sullen eyes. 

As the interviewers were swapping in and out, Tom actually lightly nudged your shoulder.

“Everything alright? We’re trying to sell tickets and you’ve got a face like thunder.”

“Oh no-no sorry I just, I-um.”

“You want some water?” Now looking at your with more concerned eyes, as if he was just nervous he’d actually offended you for calling you a boring bastard. And you would’ve picked up on it and alleviated his concerns, if it weren’t for the fact your eyes were glued on the water bottle he was holding out to you. You were thirsty. You knew that, that wasn’t the conundrum. What you weren’t so sure about was whether your stomach would accept it, or more violently reject it. In a very non ‘we’re-trying-to-sell-a-movie’ style. 

But the lightheaded fogginess in your brain won out, as you nodded jerkily, taking the bottle and taking a little swig - too cautious to take anymore. 

Now concerned with how Tom thought you were being a Debby-downer too, you managed to perk yourself up for the next four interviews. They were easy, asking questions without any activity and though you did rely on Tom beefing out and adding to your answers, it was okay. Then the next interviewer came in, who you recognised as being from the BBC, Ali Plumb, that had interviewed you a number of times. From the way Tom jumped up to give him afirendly bro-hug, you guessed he also was familiar with him. As soon as he took a seat the cameras were already flashing with the red light, demonstrating his 7 minutes had already started. 

“Guys! It’s been a while.” 

“How are you Ali?” You started it off with the pleasantries, Tom echoing, before the speccy dirty-blonde asked his first question. 

“So the last time I spoke to you guys the universe was in chaos, Peter Parkers on the run and Aurora Blake was trying to strip her own powers, so I guess my first question is how are you both doing? We can use this as a therapy session if you guys need.” His very typical nerdy joke made Tom laugh, nodding as he leaned forward and repositioned a bit. 

You didn’t share the same humour though, more focused on this invisible blanket of stuffiness that seemed to have been thrown on top of you. It made you feel groggy, incredibly hot and so unbelievable nauseous. The lights weren’t helping either, it felt like you were pouring with sweat from your forehead. You thought Tom was answering Ali, even if you couldn’t really hear  - everything had merged into a deafening roar. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, unconsciously making you fumble yourself to standing, desperate to get somewhere with fresh air. The last thing you saw before your vision tunnelled into darkness was Tom, reaching out to try and catch you. 

Because next thing you knew, you were on the floor, wires from all the cameras and lights digging into your back as you looked up to see Tom on one side and Lucy on the other - both wearing a similarly panicked expression. You knew you hadn’t been out long, seconds if that, going by the fact everyone else was in the ‘oh my god’ phase of panic. It was a bit weird how calm you where, but then again all your life you’d been the ‘class fainter’. Waking up on the floor was something you were long since used to. 

“Y/n? You awake?” Rather stating the obvious Tom asked the question as you bent your head up - allowing you sight of all the concerned facing oggling you. With a defeated sigh, you flopped your head back. 

“If this is a dream then it’s a real bloody nightmare.” This time Tom didnt seem to appreciate your joke, looking at you without almost dumbfounded eyes, as you blinked repetitively and groaned. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lucy appeared to want to lecture you, which to be honest wasn’t the most time appropriate. You were still on the floor, legs crumpled up under you, so ignored her. Instead you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, taking a moment to blink away the blotchy haze that threatened to takeover your vision once again, whilst the pair above you both cautiously rested their palms on each of your shoulders -trying to be useful. The room still felt cramped and stifling, as everyone around were no doubt looking at you. 

It took a few minutes but your body seemed to get over itself, sitting up normally and trying to make small talk with Ali - who, by the way, was still sat awkwardly in the chair. Still nestled on the floor, your back up against the chair you had been siting on as you raved with Ali of the Harry Potter theatre show. In a natural lull in conversation, Tom perked up - from the door where he’d been muttering with the organiser as Lucy bit her nails nervously. 

“Y/n you need to go home.” 

All of you knew what Tom said was impossible. Not being egotistical, but you were too important. Although you hadn’t been paying masses of attention for Lucy’s run down of your itinerary - you knew it was packed. 

So you just looked up and rolled your eyes at Tom, earning yourself a strong glare, before locking the organiser in eye contact.

“How many have we got till lunch?” 

“Um this gent here” He gesturned toward Ali, who was almost squirming in his seat now “then two more.”  

“And then lunch?” 

“Yes, then you have a personal appearance at a dinner, so transport will be coming to pick you both up.” This poor guy seemed obsessed with the clock and his timetable, looking at your with a mixture of panic and frustration. You should know this stuff, you should’ve listened to Lucy. 

“How fars the drive?” 

“At this time probably an hour and a half.” 

The plan was clear in your head, you’d sort yourself out in the car and be fully fine by the afternoon and evening engagements. Plus you felt almost fine now. So with a sigh, you hauled yourself up onto the chair, patting for Tom to sit back down. 

“It’s half an hour and then I’ll sort myself out at lunch - come on their waiting.” The way Lucy pouted showed she disagreed somewhat, except a stern look kept her from protesting, as Tom walked toward you. 

“Are you sure you don’t loo-“

“Let me stop you before you insult my appearance.” Snickering slightly at his worried face, you laughed it off , knocking his side with a gentle murmur of ‘don’t worry about me’. 

In fact after that little episode you did feel a little recovered, which meant you were properly noticing the change in the boy sat next to you. Throughout the remaining three interviews he’d done a complete 360 from earlier. Rather than trying to get little digs at you, he had become fiercely protective - jumping in if a questions wasn’t particularly appropriate or relevant to the movie ( meaning when an awfully crap man asked what underwear you’d been able to wear in your suit) ; taking the heat of the conversation as well as just watching you like a hawk. Each time you answered his beady brown eyes were watching you from the side, you got the impression it wasn’t only just because of the risk of spoilers. 

Quite remarkably, you survived the rest of the day pretty well, after a power nap in the car on the way over - even if it was a bit difficult when you had your manager watching you like a hawk from the seat across. It was as if Lucy had never seen anyone ill before, she seemed concerned that you were going to spontaneously stop breathing and die at any point. 

Though by the time all the official business at the dinner was done, your body and willpower had reached the end of their tether. You and Tom were both on a round table, surrounded by 6 CEOs and execs of what seemed to be a multimillion pound business enterprise. With the language barrier meaning you had to speak through the two people on the table who were fluent in both japanese and English, the conversation was already pretty jilted. Though to be fair, the six did seem to be enjoying the evening - something you werent able to reciprocate. Thankfully, five minutes after the main course dishes had been collected, Tom spoke up from his position opposite you.

“This has been lovely and we really appreciate your time and generosity but me and Y/n have a really early start tomorrow so I think we should probably get back to the hotel.” You swore in that moment you could’ve kissed him, and it looked like Tom could tell - by the way your shoulders sagged and you let out an exhale of pure relief. Apparently even if you’d managed to convince the hosts you were enjoying the evening, Tom easily saw through the performance. After some hurried goodbyes, Tom led you out of the hall with his hand hovering over your lowerback, trying to make sure your exit was as discreet as possible. 

Away from the bubble of chatter and activity, in the deserted hallway, Tom stopped you - lightly holding both hands on each of your arms. 

“Wheres your team?” 

“Um Luce is back at the hotel, she was trying to see if she could reschedule any of my stuff tomorrow.” You winced at the way he sighed, realising you were all on your own in some random business event hall in Tokyo.

“Harry -my brother- is waiting in the car at the front - is that okay?”

“No Tom, don’t worry abo-“

“Yeh well I am and I think you feel ten times worse than you’re letting on.” He spoke harshly, like a school teacher telling you off - except the hint of a kind smile at the end was a dead giveaway. 

“You sure?” 

With a relieved nod (Tom had thought you might be a bit more stubborn - you obviously were really really ill) he wordlessly shrugged his suit jacket off, wrapping it round your shoulders. He muttered something about not wanting you to catch a chill but to be quite honest you were a bit distracted by the woody cedar smell of Toms aftershave that enveloped your senses. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being fussed on by him? To be fair he wasn’t wrong either, you were in a strapless evening dress - you would’ve preferred to be in joggers, but Marvels press team had other ideas. 

After a quick pit stop at the toilets, the two of you managed to make an unnoticed escape out the building - into a big SUV which had seconds prior pulled up onto the steps. You literally melted into the nearest window seat, body hunching over as you probably crumpled Tom’s jacket beyond belief. 2 seats along from you, a frizzy haired boy gave you a sympathetic smile, which you returned weakly whilst muttering a ‘hi’. Meanwhile, Tom pulled the sliding door shut, sitting across from you. 

“Oh Y/n this is Harry and Harry this is Y/n.” In unison both of you replied with an ‘I know’ eye roll. Your response was somewhat more shocking to both Holland boys, you could tell from the way they had this whole nonverbal conversation with their eyes - they were very clearly brothers. Needing to explain you continued. “I like to keep tabs on my castmates, I’ve seen you on Toms instagram.” That had both boys smirking, Harry presumably just because you knew who he was; Tom more smugly, you’d just given away you slightly stalked him on instagram. 

Silence reigned for a moment, as the driver put his foot down slightly. 

“How you doing?” Tom asked. 

“Mhm…” you thought for a second, how to eloquently describe the sensation. 

“shit.” 

Both boys chuckled a little and even though you had closed your eyes in an attempt to dull the throbbing behind your temples, you could feel the eyes on you. 

“You want the music off?” Harry asked, referring to the indie-rock coming quietly out the speakers of his laptop, which was resting on his lap. With a shake of your head you refused, even if really silence probably would help your head, you were already causing the two Hollands enough trouble - no need to bore them during the journey back into central Tokyo, especially when you weren’t the most enthusiastic company ever. 

Thankfully the music stayed on a low volume, whilst the car seemed to settle into a comfortable silence. With a long exhale you fluttered your eyes open, seeing Tom focused on his phone, before you rested the side of your head against the black-out glass. Taking some relief from the cool glass, you huddled further into the corner of the car against the door.

Floating in the space between sleep and wakefulness, you were kind of aware of your head occasionally bobbing and jerking about - but really didn’t have the energy or willpower to do anything about it. Instead, the thing that perked your attention was hearing some supposed-whispering from inside the body of the car.

“I know she said she didn’t care but she was clearly lying-“ 

“Like you know! You’ve been desperate to try and spend some time with Y/n- maybe you poisoned her just so you could be all knight-in-shini-“

“Turn. The. Music. Off.” Tom sounded scathing now, and with a grumble from your other-side the cheery drum beats ceased.

“Happy now?” …and Harry was sarcastic. 

“Swap places with me.”

“What?”

“Just do it.”

“Why?”

“So she can lie down.” 

“Well no because you would still be in the way if we swapped.”

“Yeh but she can lie on my lap idiot.”

“She can lie on me.”

“She doesn’t know you!”

“Well for 1, barely ten minutes ago she said she did know me. And 2, she doesn’t know you any better!”

If this was their version of whispering, you would love to hear what volume ‘shouting’ was. There was no reply for a short while, you imagined the two brunettes locked in some intense staring match.The next time Tom spoke he sounded more defeated - almost begging. 

“If I admit you beat me at the driving range the other day will you-” 

“I KNEW IT!” Harry yelped, the volume making you jerk, eyes flying open before reflexively closing because the light was too bright. There was a little mutter of an apology, then silence again. 

Once agin you must’ve drifted off because it felt like absolutely no time had passed when a firm but gently hand on your shoulder nudged you awake. 

Sure enough the boys had swapped position, Tom now sitting along the seat from you, Harry looked a little sulky from across the way. It was Tom who was reaching over, a gentle and peaceful smile on his face.

“You wanna lie down? Don’t want you to strain your neck.” He wasn’t wrong, adding to the throbbing headache, the cloudiness in your brain and the unsettled feeling in your stomach… now your neck hurt. Just bloody great. 

Had you been your normal witty and perceptive self, you might’ve teased Tom as to why him and his brother had done a switch - but everything hurt and all you wanted to do was sleep for a hundered years. So with squinting eyes you jerkily nodded, missing how Tom chuckled to himself. The guy undid your seatbelt, then sat back to let you balance the back of your head on his thigh, looking up at the roof of the SUV. Already your eyes were closed again, you kicked off your slip-on heels and bent your legs up to lean against the backrest - occupying the position you had been sat in before hand. You felt his hands reposition the jacket, pulling it round so it was now like a blanket tucked under your chin. 

To be fair it was much more comfortable than sitting up and you weren’t even aware of how quickly you dropped back into sleep. 

Though it wasn’t quick enough to miss Harry’s very sulky sounding comment, presumably meant only for Tom’s ears. 

“Still think you’re being fucking creepy bro.” 

<33 lemme know what u think! (would make me feel less guilty for not doing all the work I rlly should be doing aha)

tagging : @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter @hollandfanficlove

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Touch it for Real, Part 9

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Angst / (Eventual) Smut 18+

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers / unresolved sexual tension

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

A/N: DO NOT YELL AT ME! It is going to be okay. 

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8  , Part 9 , Part 10

You had a secret.

For such an abstract and shapeless thing you could sure feel it sitting in there.

It was pulsing.

Your secret felt like a splinter lodged just under a single taste bud that sat in the center of your tongue. You could feel your white blood cells attacking it, trying their best to push it up and push it out, but still it clung tight with its sharp barbs lodged within your cell walls. You brushed your tongue against your teeth.

The secret did not budge.

What you knew about them though, was that secrets did not like to stay hidden forever.

Your fork slipped and clanked noisily against the ceramic plate and the bright orange carrot ball rolled across the smooth white surface nearly sliding over the edge onto the white linen. Whoever decided that your steamed vegetables needed to be shaped into spheres simply for aesthetics should be forced to come out here and explain how you were supposed to spear one of these things while also avoiding the risk of it shooting across the table and hitting your date in the face.

Ben turned out to be very nice. If you were into tall, handsome, clean-looking, and responsible guys who drove their own cars and also had things like health insurance and retirement plans. When you first saw him, you were struck by the firmness you felt when he shook your hand and smiled brightly at you. He had all of his teeth and a head full of hair. He was definitely walking around on his real legs too. He looked like the kind of guy who didn’t let the clean laundry sit in the dryer for longer than a day and changed out his toothbrush every three months. You couldn't see a single fault.

You were trying your best to make a good first impression.

Really, you were.

Well, while also keeping an eye on Baekhyun who sat beside you with his focus down on his plate as he sliced his food into bite sized bits. His control of the fork and knife felt so careful and so exacting, it neared obsession. He had not ordered the steamed vegetables. None of his food rolled.

Across from him, looking just as cute in person as her online dating profile pictures conveyed, was Mia.

Mia was fine.

She was fine.

You didn't want to get into it.

Her clothes were fine. They were exactly the kinds of clothes you had expected she would wear.

Her hair was fine.

She actually had a hairstyle that reminded you of one of the characters in an anime you watched with Baekhyun once and you wondered about the upkeep costs of that particular shade of blue that streaked through her hair. You wondered if she had to switch to blue towels and blue pillow cases or if everything in her house was just stained forever.

Baekhyun’s cheeks blushed when he shook her hand and his smile was bashful, if not a bit tight when she complimented his glasses. Your mind briefly considered the plush, expensive white towels you both owned at home and a flash of horror overcame you for a split second when you imagined those towels streaked with a blue stain from the shower.

He bought those glasses at a store. Anyone can go to the store and buy glasses. Did such a superficial compliment really warrant such a deep shade of pink on his cheeks?

You took a sip of your glass of wine and the sweet, cool liquid had a tart aftertaste that lingered on your taste buds long after you swallowed and you stabbed roughly at the runaway carrot again, impaling it with the prongs of your fork.

Finally.

“I got it,” you said out loud to yourself with a wide smile and you held your prize up in front of your face for a second. Long enough for your eyes to drift across your table to meet Ben’s and you caught the soft amused chuckle that puffed from his nose.

You’d already gotten through the backstory. Starting with the curious question from Mia about how you and Baekhyun got to know each other and you took a quick glance toward Ben as Baekhyun explained that you and he had been roommates for a couple of years. You caught the slight smile on Ben’s lips as he looked down into his water glass and you wondered if he was pleased that he already knew the answer to this question as you had been quick to tell him this important detail about your life as you chatted with him during the last week or so.

Mia on the other hand simply let her eyes drift over from Baekhyun’s face to land on yours for a moment and you offered a disarming smile by way of explanation. Not that either of you had any explaining to do. You could live with whoever you wanted to live with. It took her ten seconds to return your smile, although you didn't quite believe it, or believe that she was done with her curiosities about this topic.

You couldn't really blame her although you’d given her nothing to be suspicious about. Not in the last 20 minutes since you’d all arrived and nibbled on shared appetizers, at least.

Hell, you hadn’t even touched him all day. From before you both arrived at this fancy restaurant and just relinquished your coats to some stranger simply because she held a hand out and sported a severe enough hairdo and manic look in her eyes that was too frightening to question. From the morning when you woke up and wandered into your kitchen to make toast for one and you ignored the sound of his feet shuffling in, half-asleep to grab a yogurt from the fridge. You hadn’t even helped him style his hair; which looked stunning, by the way, with the waves and the faded brown color that absolutely looked like something the perfect boyfriend would let you play with as he laid on your lap. He hadn’t even asked for your help picking out his outfit. He’d simply done it all on his own and waited for you by the front door wearing those jeans and smelling like that familiar scent that he bought for your date with him weeks back.

When had this all become so awkward? You’d never been afraid to touch Baekhyun before but now, well, the touches hadn’t ever concealed quite so much meaning before.

By the time the entrees arrived the conversations had moved on to hobbies and interests.

Ben was a movie buff, and his favorites were mostly mainstream blockbusters of the Marvel Superhero variety. He enjoyed many of the genres of films you’d mostly seen just the previews of. His top ten contained a bit more horror than you were comfortable with. One in particular, a prolific film based on a Steven King novel, had been the kind of psychologically terrifying film that made your chest rattle and you had spent most of the second half of that movie with your face buried in Baekhyun’s arm begging him to just describe to you what was happening and to tell you when the scary parts were over.

When he asked you what your favorite movie was you hesitated for a moment before pulling the movie Forrest Gump out of basically thin air. Yes you had enjoyed the movie. Yes it was something you’d seen more than once and if it was on television right now you would sit down and watch it from start to finish and you would enjoy it. It was a respectable favorite to have. It was the kind of favorite movie you would not be embarrassed to show to your grandmother.

But it wasn’t actually your favorite and you could feel the burden of Baekhyun’s eyes as he turned his head to look at your face when you said it.

Something about naming, out loud with your own lips — the light and fun, mindless guilty pleasure of the film that was actually your favorite movie that you’d watched hundreds of times and returned to watch again and again every time you felt even a little bit upset; something about saying it out loud to this table of people with countless of hours of media consumption under their belts and opinions about things like prolific directors, production companies, hefty CGI budgets, and overused, tired tropes that absolutely should be dropped in 2021, well it just felt too vulnerable for you to say out loud.

You swallowed a sip of your wine and refused to turn your head to look at Baekhyun until you heard the sound of his throat swallowing the ice water he sipped.

When Mia changed the topic to Anime you felt Baekhyun come alive beside you and Ben slinked back in his seat a little as the two of them got to talking about something that was highly anticipated and was slated to be released next year. Rumors about artists and directors with names you could not know flew easily from their lips and Mia mentioned the name of one previous work that you recognized.

In fact you had watched the entire thing last year with Baekhyun and you remembered talking excitedly about it with Mia during one of your early text conversations.

Your face lit up and you happily joined in, excited to finally know what in the world they were talking about when you accidentally let something slip when you reminded her of what she had said about the anime before. Luckily you stopped yourself before you could admit that you had actually been the one she had been chatting with at the time.

Still, she caught it. She was very quick and sharp and you watched her face as she registered that you’d referenced something that only Baekhyun should know about. Had you just fucked up?

“Ahh, we,” you raised your index finger and waved it lightly toward where Baekhyun had stiffened up in his seat beside you, “he told me about what you said.”

There was a moment when her eyes widened and she looked at Baekhyun briefly before returning her focus to you.

“He...told you about me?” She lifted a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, straightened her back and leaned forward with her forearms rested in front of her plate on the table. Her off-the-shoulders number dipped when she leaned in and you caught a bit of black lace and the bunch up of her impressive bosom.

She smiled a coy smile aimed across the table.

You followed the smile and your eyes reached Baekhyun. He’d been hit with the smile and had been too stunned to return it. Instead, he lifted a hand and rubbed it over the back of his neck twice before reaching the same hand forward to grab the ice water he’d been sipping all night as he pulled in a mouthful and puffed his cheeks before covering his lips with his flattened palm and swallowing noisily.

“I also mentioned you to my friend,” Mia said not quietly enough for it to be just for him and you dropped your eyes down to the half finished chicken on your plate.

She was fine. Mia was fine. She’d done absolutely nothing wrong. She was nice and she was probably a good person, but you kind of wanted her to die.

“So,” Ben interjected suddenly and you looked across the table at him as you tried to conceal the surprise on your face to find him sitting there.

You noticed he was done with his food and his plate had already been cleared away by the super attentive waitstaff.

The negligence of your own date weighed heavily on you and you angled your chest forward to face him directly for whatever questions he had for you.

He was pointing toward Baekhyun and Mia with his extended finger and raised eyebrows.

“You two work in computers?” It was a work question. He’d gathered this much from the brief introductions everyone had given and while you had failed to offer any insight as to what you did for a living, Baekhyun and Mia had both mentioned computers.

“He’s a software engineer, and I’m a programmer. Similar but not the same,” Mia explained. You weren't sure of any of the details or of how they were different. You hadn’t really put much thought into it. You knew Baekhyun worked the magic with the keyboard and could fix anything that you happened to break.

“I’m in advertising. Just got scouted by Comma Entertainment and I’ve accepted.” Ben had a hand raised to his chest and his eyebrows were up. This seemed important to him and you let your lips form into an impressed O shape as you raised your eyebrows. His tone and the way he said the name of his new employer seemed to warrant the excited reaction.

You weren't familiar at all with his industry but you knew how to react like you knew what he was talking about. He certainly seemed impressed by himself. Who were you to discourage his enthusiasm.

“You’ve heard of it?” You sold it too well. Baekhyun had leaned close to you and whispered an aside question and you shot him a tense look with your eyes as a warning, but you quickly pushed your smile wide for Ben who was, deservedly, very excited about his new position.

“Of course, who doesn’t know Comma for advertising. That’s a very big deal. Is that why you were so busy last week? We hardly got to talk.”

Your subject change was so slick. If you hadn’t been the one to do it, you’d have been impressed by it. The disappointed pout on your face sold it well.

“Actually I was at the bank a lot last week. It was so weird. I had a few accounts that seemed to be hacked but then it turned out to be nothing. Had to change all my passwords though, so that was annoying.”

“That sucks. They didn't take anything did they?” Mia spoke up from beside Ben; concern written all over her face.

“No. Whoever did it just seemed to access purchase histories mostly. Some loser of a hacker. Didn't even get any money.” Ben’s lips pulled wide and he was laughing with his head thrown back at his perceived victory over the hacker that had been messing around in his bank records.

“You can learn a remarkable amount of information about a person’s bad habits from their bank history, Ben. Sure utilities and rent; that’s boring. You can find out how often someone gets hammered at bars. How many of those bars are also strip clubs. How many maxed out credit cards they make minimum payments on each month just to keep their head above water. Their gambling losses and the motel rooms they book in the bad part of town…”

Baekhyun was speaking up beside you. You turned and you looked at his profile as he spoke so candidly and with what you could only describe as a certain smugness on his voice.

The only reason he’d stopped talking was to catch his breath. It was the most he had spoken all night and you honestly felt taken aback by the suddenness of his words and more, the topic he spoke on. It felt weirdly pointed. It just felt so detailed; almost accusatory.

“What?” You hissed the question; focused it hard and as under your breath as possible to the man seated beside you.

His lips closed up before his eyes turned to look at you and you caught a quick blink of his eyes that preceded a softening of his features that had no business looking that confrontational in the first place.

“I’m not saying any of that stuff applies to Ben.” Baekhyun lifted a slim dismissive hand to wave toward your date. “It’s just an example. For all we know Ben’s only weakness is eating fried chicken every day.”

Ben’s lips were pulled into a thin line on his face and his jaw unclenched when you looked back at him. Then he was smiling at you and it was bright and convincing. You smiled back at him and shook your head at your wacky roommate’s antics.

“Actually it’s pizza. You caught me buddy, I’m a hardcore pizza addict. Every night.”

“Well, not tonight.” Baekhyun shrugged with an odd smile landing on his lips.

Ben’s tight smile flattened and the two men seemed to be staring at each other for longer than you thought was polite for a shared first double-date.

“So what is it that you do?” It was Mia who ultimately broke the tension and you looked across the table into her eyes. She had a pleasant smile on her face and was still chewing on a piece of bread, clearly unbothered by the strange standoff that had just been going on between the two men at this table.

Surely you weren't the only one to notice how odd it had been. Had you just imagined the tightness in Baekhyun’s fist that laid over his thigh and the hard glare in Ben’s eyes?

With Mia’s question though, you felt your own lips pull closed and your eyes danced around the table to the other curious parties who also were now looking at you to answer the question.

You’d prepared well for this date. You’d made sure Baekhyun had the detailed first date topics, questions and answers for perfect small talk, even the section on table etiquette. You’d made sure he knew you’d be here to steer the conversations toward topics he was comfortable discussing and you’d even set up a safety signal he would use if he wanted to bail and just go home.

You’d planned it all out, down to the detailed progression of the evening and how at the end someone might even suggest going together for drinks. And should one of the dates wish to split off, it would be completely okay as long as the corresponding person felt comfortable. You’d even promised that under no circumstances would you abandon Baekhyun to do this on his own if he didn't want to. Not even at the behest of Ben, your date.

They were looking at you and you'd gone quiet. You’d been so busy preparing for this date that it never occurred to you that you were also actively involved and that someone might possibly ask a question about you and your work.

Your work. Well…

“Uhh...I don't really do anything worth mentioning.”

You felt it. It was a warmth that had pooled in the skin around your nose. Your cheeks felt warm and you felt just insignificant enough for it to take your undeserved confidence and throw it out the window.

Ben and Mia were watching you. You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth and bit down on the dry chapped skin on the surface.

“Nothing?” Ben said and his eyes were wide with a look of confusion on his face.

“Well, not nothing.” You were not completely unemployed. You had been quite impressive before. You’d been working with the best publicists of an entertainment company and had been in charge of crafting and perfecting the asset sheets of many of your company's highest profile artists. You’d been the best at it and at one time had been highly sought out for your expertise. You had a way with it. You could work some real magic. You could make a dud of a raw potato sound like a five star course in a Michelin star restaurant. Losing your position in the spring of 2020 had really been a huge blow to your confidence. You looked back at how far you had fallen. Boring data entry jobs to make ends meet. Taking on weird side gigs so you could afford tiny luxuries like your favorite scented lotion or the name brand tampons instead of the store brand.

“I do have a job.” You added lamely. “It’s just not at all interesting.”

Ben dropped his eyes from yours and Mia shrugged her shoulders and stabbed a carrot ball expertly on the first try.

“Yeah but what is it?” Mia said as she chewed daintily. The heat in your cheeks spread and you let your eyes wander away from hers over the various dinner items that covered this table.

Beside you, Baekhyun’s movement caught your eye and you turned to see him place an elbow on the table in front of him and he leaned forward.

“She’s a dating coach. She’s really good at it, but much too modest when she talks about herself.”

Oh no. He wasn't about to spill the beans was he? This was definitely not something in the approved list of first date dinner topics. Wasn't this topic too incriminating? Wouldn't Mia put two and two together and figure out that you had been coaching Baekhyun all along? Also, wasn't this new profession of yours too brand new to start talking about so freely like this? What the hell was he doing?

“A dating coach? What’s that?”

Strangely, Mia didn't seem to be looking at Baekhyun with wheels turning and sirens blaring. She was looking at you with her mouth empty and hung open with a look of genuine interest in her eyes.

“Do you like, feed them what to say in an earpiece?” Ben was speaking up from the other side of Mia and you laughed at the absurdity of such a silly rom-com movie cliche.

“Well no. I’m not a pickup artist. I am a dating coach. Think about it like a sports coach. I am teaching my clients the skills to play the game. Skills to overcome dating anxiety, or I’m teaching them to identity and move away from self-sabotaging behaviors, limiting beliefs, or preconceptions that are detrimental to a healthy relationship.

I have clients that don't even know where to begin. My goal is to strategize with them and place them effectively within the dating scene so they stand the best chance. It’s incredibly hard to be objective about your own love life, but I provide an outside viewpoint. I step in and intervene when I see something that isn't in line with their relationship goals or the vision they have for dating.

I’m not teaching manipulation or just telling them what to say. There are no love spells to make someone fall in love with you. I’m changing the way they believe in themselves so they can present themselves to someone else in the absolute best way to begin a real relationship with someone.”

You’d been leaning in as you spoke animatedly with your hands. You felt the genuine excitement building with your words. You were surprised at how much of your previous profession’s language applied to this new exciting endeavor you were embarking on, but there really were tons of overlapping similarities between the two fields. The explanations just poured out of you.

You hadn’t said any of this out loud before to anyone but the more you talked about it, the more elated you felt about what you were doing with your life. With how much you had been helping Baekhyun and how much progress you had seen in just one day of helping your clients — Baekhyun’s friends Minseok and Sehun. Sehun had finally, finally sent you his first selfie that wasn’t taken from his lap after you’d sent him many examples of good selfies taken from different angles. Minseok was already halfway through the materials you’d sent him to study and had been working hard on identifying and changing the self-defeating language he’d used in his rough draft dating profile.

“She has an app.” Baekhyun piped up from beside you. He’d leaned back in his chair as you spoke.

Both Ben and Mia’s faces mirrored each other’s. Their eyes were wide and their mouths hung in amazement and you quickly closed up your own mouth and grabbed anxiously at your wine glass, feeling a little bit embarrassed about having talked so much. You couldn't resist the chance to smash their misconceptions about what your goals actually were with helping your clients. None of these people were unlovable. They were all worthy of finding someone and you were going to give it your all to help them see their own value.

“Not at all interesting?” Mia spoke up, “that’s super interesting. That’s really, really cool. Can—Can I have your contact info? I have a friend that would be interested in your services.”

“You have an app too? This is something we could advertise online. It would do extremely well on certain kinds of reddit forums and definitely in most online gaming communities.” Even Ben sounded excited, if not a bit overly judgmental, and you heard a quiet, but hostile scoff next to you.

You ticked your head toward the sound but did not turn to look at him. You knew that scoff well enough to hear the annoyance in his voice at whatever he thought Ben might be insinuating about online gamers and the connection to the incels that haunted the forums of reddit.

“I think it’s a bit premature to think about online advertising. I’m still only one person.”

Ben smiled and shrugged off your quick dismissal of his idea to partner up and advertise your business to the desperately lonely and pathetic gamers of the world. Hell, the more you thought about it, the less inappropriate Baekhyun’s annoyance was. Ben could use some coaching on choosing less insulting words.

Thankfully the dinner was over and the check had been taken care of. You looked away from the palpable awkwardness that slapped you across the face when Baekhyun waved away Ben’s card and paid for the entire bill with his own.

“You can get me next time, buddy.” He definitely said this word sarcastically. It was out of line and you simply could not find the right moment to pinch his leg under the table to get him to behave himself in a discrete enough way that would not get you caught by the other two people at this table.

You let it slide simply because you had no way to stop it. He was ignoring the way you waved your finger frantically at him down by your calf. You knew he could see you in his peripherals.

No, Baekhyun. Stop that. Be nice. Your hand was saying. He wouldn't even look at it.

The dinner was over and the movie was starting soon. You’d picked a restaurant that was close enough to the theatre that you could walk.

You paired off. It was far from natural. You actually caught Baekhyun’s eyes as you stepped quickly and walked ahead of him, falling into step beside Ben and you left behind Baekhyun and Mia to bring up the rear. It took every ounce of self control not to turn around and look behind you to see how closely they walked to each other. To see if Baekhyun kept his hands shoved securely in his pockets or if he swung his arms at his side as he walked, inching a hand closer and closer to Mia’s swinging hand in the hopes of a back of the hand brush of his warm skin against hers.

Your steps must have stalled. You’d reached the theatre and you looked up to locate Ben, only to find him at the box office purchasing four tickets for the movie you’d all agreed to watch days ago. For the life of you, you couldn't remember what you were seeing. You merely followed where you were led and found yourself seated in a center row of a movie house sandwiched between Ben and Baekhyun. You noticed the center armrests had been lifted when you arrived and simply did not bother to lower them since everyone was too full from dinner for any movie snacks or drinks.

The house was mostly empty and then lights dimmed as the movie began. You searched your brain and nearly pulled out your phone to check your chat logs for the name of the film but decided against shining a tiny bright light in a dark room.

The movie began and you were quickly drawn into the narrative. It was a dark film and as the soundtrack began to take on more sinister sounding tones you recognized that your heart was racing and you were feeling the tension all over your body. It was not a gorey horror film, but it was leaning more toward the psychological suspense thriller genre. Not really something you watched much of.

To your left, Ben sat completely still; focused only on the movie screen. He looked so calm and nearly unaffected by the terrifying things happening on the screen. He occasionally shifted in his seat but did not react to the jump scare that flashed before your eyes and made you flinch hard in your seat. You’d reached the point in the film when the main characters were in genuine danger and you began to wonder if anyone would make it out of this movie alive. Was this one of those films where everyone was doomed?

It happened again, another jump, another loud shocking sound and another noise startled you and you dove to your right, hiding your face in the warm shoulder of the man sitting beside you.

The realization was instantaneous. The second you felt the warmth of his arm, and the smell of him hit your nose, you pulled your head up and you straightened out your spine, mumbling a quiet apology to Baekhyun for using his arm to hide behind as you removed any and all contact points you had with his body. You angled your hips and your knees away from him and even went so far as to stick your hands well under your own thighs and keep them there so you didn't grab for him again. You had been doing so well by not touching him at all today. Why did it have to be a scary movie?

Things grew more frantic on the screen. You held your breath and tried your best to keep from reacting as much as you could. How long was this movie? How much longer did you have to endure this? You should have paid more attention to the details of this part of the date. This was your own fault. You were acting like a big baby because you couldn't handle a little frightening scenes in a movie.

It was coming again. You could feel it building. You closed your eyes and terrible sounds were erupting all over. You would just not look. You could make it through if you just didn't look. With your eyes closed the sounds felt louder than ever and when you thought you couldn't take it anymore you considered committing the enormous sin of getting up during the climax of the movie to use the bathroom just so you didn't have to sit through this anymore.

There was a shift beside you then. You felt warm fingers inching down your forearm, traveling the path your hand took that led below your thigh and someone was reaching for your hand and pulling it out from where you’d been sitting on it. Someone to your right was gripping your hand with his own warm hand and you opened your eyes to look down between the hidden space between your hip and Baekhyun’s hip. There, you saw the grip of his hand that wrapped securely around yours.

He squeezed down once and you followed the length of him up to catch a glimpse of the side of his face. He was looking up at the screen. His eyes were open and he did not flinch at all. He was so still aside from the occasional movement of his lips when he moistened them with his tongue.

You could handle this if he lent you a little bit of his strength like this. Your eyes returned to the screen but your mind wandered back down to the secure comfort you felt in his hand.

You felt your own secret throb.

It made you flinch just a little bit and Baekhyun’s hand shifted then. He moved, lifting the tight grip for a moment and you wondered if he was done, would he take his hand back and leave you cold and afraid again? The lift was for the shift of his fingers and you felt the push of each digit between yours. He pushed his fingers between yours; interlocking your hands together with his and his thumb moved lightly over your own thumb, brushing comforting strokes again and again through the loud and scary and shocking scenes that played over that screen.

This time the racing you felt in your chest had nothing to do with the scary movie. He was touching you. He was holding your hand in secret. It felt forbidden with his date sitting right beside him like she was and with your date seated right beside you like he was. All of your attention was down on the slow pressure you felt from his thumb as it traced the shape of your own thumb down from the very bottom up to the tip, around again. The simple up and down had a slow and sensual rhythm to it. When he lifted his hand his thumb moved and you held your breath to feel that same very slow touching trace the outline of the palm of your hand again and again. He drew absentminded shapes into your skin with the pointed tip of his thumb and your eyes drifted closed as the longing grew within you. He followed the paths of the creases in your skin like a palm reader. He did not even need light to see them, he simply felt them and traced along the paths.

You let him.

You felt bewitched.

You loved him.

The credits rolled on the screen and the lights switched on. The change was abrupt. You were taken by surprise and shocked by it like you were from the jump scares in the film.

His warmth left you. His wandering light touch, his deliberate and careful exploration of the lines that made up the palm of your hand vanished.

Everyone was standing and everyone was walking out of the theatre house and your mind felt clouded and dazed but you followed where their steps led and you found yourself standing outside of the exit doors with the three other people who you entered with.

Baekhyun stood beside Mia and Ben occupied the space of the sidewalk square that you also stood inside.

It was the end of a night. You felt an overwhelming urge for this evening to be done so you could go home and shower and maybe eat something sweet and distracting and maybe made out of chocolate.

“Well this was fun,” it was your own voice that ultimately called it.

Mia had been looking at Baekhyun who had been looking down at his own feet as he lightly tapped his foot on the concrete below. Three taps.

Tap, tap, tap.

You felt a jolt of realization. Baekhyun had just tapped his foot thrice on the floor below him well within your sight and you recognized what that meant. He was feeling done. He was done with all of this exhausting socializing and being out in public with so many people around and he wanted to go home now. This was him asking you for help now as he wasn't sure how to end the date but wanted it to be over.

“What about...grabbing some drinks, maybe...” Mia was talking only to Baekhyun as she looked at him, “if you aren't too tired.”

“Hey Baek, isn’t your grandmother coming over early tomorrow? Do you still have to get ready for that?” You interjected suddenly and Baekhyun looked up into your face with his mouth open and you watched his eyes move slowly over your face as he recognized what you were doing. You were giving him an out. Mia had asked him to go for drinks and you were giving him an excuse, should he need it.

You both knew his grandma came every other Sunday. You both vividly remembered the wonderful visit you had at the beginning of the week with her and she wasn’t due to arrive again until next Sunday.

He could simply correct you if he really did want to go with her. He could call you a dummy and tell you that you had the wrong week again and playfully tap you on the head to jog your brain back into functioning the right way as he often did when you got something mixed up.

“Oh, yeah she is,” Baekhyun grabbed your convenient reminder from the air and smiled a rueful smile directed at Mia. His smile widened with the wince on his face, “that’s too bad.” He added and Mia took it well.

She smiled and nodded her head and there were well wishes for a safe trip home all around as you all parted ways.

Ben said he would text you later. Baekhyun told Mia the same and you waited until they both walked away to follow Baekhyun back to his car for the quiet ride home.

The silence was heavy, but it was comfortable.

Baekhyun didn't speak at all and you could tell by the way he carried himself that he was tired. He wasn’t normally an extroverted person and found it very draining to carry on a full conversation with friends he knew well. Strangers like he had been with tonight, well, you could see the fatigue in his movements and you knew he needed something warm to drink and maybe some comfort with a familiar favorite tv show to zone out in front of.

You handled it better. You were used to having to go out of your home occasionally and you even enjoyed socializing with your coworkers on the few days you went in to the office for work. You felt a bit drained but mostly you were preoccupied with watching how he was handling it and you were also burning with curiosity to know how Baekhyun felt about the whole thing.

He’d wandered into the living room and he found the sofa. You followed him close behind and grabbed the remote, flipping to a familiar and funny cartoon that you often saw him playing in the background as he worked on things. He didn't usually watch it that closely but it was comforting enough to stay on and keep his mind occupied for a while.

You didn't speak. Everything you had to ask him could wait. Even the scolding you had for him about how he acted toward Ben could also wait. You’d let the man breathe a little first.

You busied yourself in the kitchen making two cups of hot tea and when you returned you found his head leaning against the back of the couch with his eyes still glued to the screen. He had a passive smile on his face and he reacted positively to the wacky scenarios the characters found themselves in. He would occasionally speak out loud, speaking along with a funny line he knew by heart and you found it impossible to resist saying the follow up joke. You knew this show as well as he did.

He accepted the tea with a smile and had a few sips and you set your mug on the coffee table in favorable of the comfortable side of the sofa, the side with the pillows that allowed you to rest your head comfortably as you watched the big tv.

You were feeling pretty good. Baekhyun had now officially gone on his first date with a real girl who wasn’t you and he’d had a nice time. You could see from where you laid your head down how relaxed his face was as he giggled at the show.

You stretched and you felt his warm thigh with your foot. This sofa was long enough for you to stretch out completely and you only barely reached where he sat at the other side. You wiggled your toes, unable to resist the light messing with him that you often gave in to and his hand reached down to grab ahold of your foot, which he held in place as he paid attention to the tv.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you sat up a little bit to pull it out.

You saw a text message from Ben.

From the preview you got the idea of what kind of text message the man would be sending you an hour after your first, and apparently your last date with him.

-Hey you seem like a super cool girl, but...

The preview showed you enough to know that he was dumping you before you’d even gotten anything started with him.

You opened the text. Your curiosity outweighed your sense of self preservation.

-...but whatever’s going on between you and your roommate, well it doesn’t really seem like there’s much room for me. I just don't think I can start something knowing I’ve already lost. Thanks for inviting me tonight. The movie was fun. Good luck with everything. - Ben

You felt the sting.

You couldn't help it. You’d spent all evening watching Baekhyun interact with Mia with every ounce of your self control devoted to not letting your jealousy show at all. At one point you’d been so damn engrossed in them that you forgot Ben was even there. What an unfair and shitty situation to have put him in. You quickly keyed out an apology for your crappy date etiquette and thanked him for going out with you tonight.

You couldn't even blame him for anything. He had been sweet and he had tried his best to be the perfect gentleman. What had you expected?

You sent the last message you would ever send to Ben and tossed your phone roughly toward the coffee table. It bounced but landed in the middle.

The racket called Baekhyun’s attention and he turned to look at you with his eyebrows raised in question.

“Ben just rejected me.”

Somehow saying this out loud to Baekhyun felt better than hiding it from him. It felt less miserable than keeping it inside of yourself and letting yourself suffer the sting of the rejection alone.

Baekhyun’s lips pulled into a small frown and he took out his cell phone from his pocket and tossed it roughly on the coffee table beside yours. It took a similar bounce and your eyes widened in surprise at the sudden gesture.

“No way, not Mia too,” you said in genuine fear and Baekhyun shook his head with his shrug still well in place.

“Nah, I just can't lay down with my phone in my pocket,” he said as he wiggled on the sofa trying to get comfortable, “though in hindsight I can see how you would think that, sorry. Mia hasn’t texted yet.”

He was wiggling, finding no comfort in all the positions he tried and you caught his wandering eyes for a second as you lightly tapped a hand over your belly.

This…

This would be fine. This was something you both did sometimes. Baekhyun said your belly was warm and comfy and made the best noises and he liked to use you as a pillow when he was just too tired to go to his own bed.

He moved right away at your invitation and you let your legs part around his chest as he laid his head down right on top of you. He turned his head to face the tv and didn't even squirm too much before he sighed out loud. His arms laid on either side of your waist and you felt the constriction as he lightly squeezed around you.

You really hadn’t gotten to touch him all day. Your fingers found their way into his hair and you felt a low moan from the back of his throat travel though your body as you raked your nails down the back of his head to his nape.

“Peanut,” you said softly, feeling every little bit of the annoying little tickle of that stupid secret sitting inside of you.

You could feel the heaviness of his body as he gave in and relaxed his muscles on you. You felt every breath he took and they seemed to be changing as you played with his hair and he gave in to the relaxing comfort you offered him.

“Hmm?” He replied after a long while. You angled your face and could see that his eyes were closed.

“How was the date? Was it nice?”

You had so many hopes for him. You were trying your best to ignore the pangs of your own selfish jealousy and get past it all to get to something good for him. Something that would make him understand how incredible he was. How beautiful he was inside and out and how precious of a human being he was.

“Mhmm, I liked it.” He said softly and he shifted and you felt him tighten his hold around your waist briefly before he relaxed again.

“Did you really? Do you think you liked Mia?” You kept your voice strong. You did not allow your fears to overcome your voice. You were okay with this if he was okay.

He did not answer right away. You’d stopped playing with his hair and you kept your hand rested over his head. He was so warm. He was so lovely.

“Do you want me to like Mia?”

No.

Mia would be so good to him.

You did not answer. Your answer would have been no. It would have been selfish. You’d just been dumped by your date, how dare his date have gone so well. You’d both been on the same date. You could still see the way she looked at him. She found him just as lovely as you did.

You felt a thickness at the back of your throat and you swallowed it down.

“I’m trying, Bug. She’s very nice to talk to. Do you think I should like her?”

Was this because of his mistrust of people? Was this his shyness about letting someone he didn't know very well in close?

You couldn't respond. You did not trust yourself to do the right thing.

“You should go rest if you’re sleepy,” you said, you know, like a coward.

It took him a few minutes of laying on top of you before he realized that you were right and he would be much more comfortable in his own bed. He nodded and pushed up with his arms, and his eyes stayed closed and his head stayed hung down as his feet shuffled and he made his way into his bedroom, leaving his door open you merely heard the loud sound of him plopping down on his bed.

You were stuck where he left you.

Stuck in about as crappy a mood as you’d ever found yourself.

You hated everything about this. You hated how much you loved him and you hated how receptive he was to the idea of dating Mia. You hated how she looked at him and giggled at his small jokes and you hated HATED the way his cheeks blushed and the shy smiles he gave her when she talked to him.

You laid there and you stewed in your mood for longer than was good for you and the only thing that made your it up was the simultaneous buzzing that brought both of your cell phones to life on the coffee table.

You reached for yours. It’s as your dating coach app. Baekhyun had received a new message from Mia. The feelings that surged through you were taking over your sense of what was good and what was right and what was proper behavior for someone like you to participate in.

You swiped to read the message.

-Hi Baekhyun. Sorry I couldn't wait until tomorrow to text you. I had an amazing time tonight and I was wondering if you would like to meet up tomorrow after your Grandmother’s visit for coffee? I have something I’d like to ask you.

You felt as if your body was on fire.

You could feel it deep inside your chest, deeper still inside your belly where his head had been resting moments before. You felt it in the palm of your hand where his thumb had traced the patterns of lines there. You felt it in your lips that he had kissed and in your tongue ached inside of your mouth from your stupid secret.

You reached for your phone. You opened the app for the power he’d given only to you and you responded to her message as if you were Baekhyun.

-Hi, Yeah, that sounds fine. I’ll meet you at 1pm.

Your hands moved on their own. You moved to the internal commands of your app and you deleted both of the messages from the chat history. When you picked up his phone you saw the notification for Mia’s message vanish before your eyes and when you unlocked it and accessed his chat log, there was no sign of the unimaginable and unforgivable sin you had just committed against him.

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8  , Part 9 , Part 10

Tag list: @j-pping  @blahblahblah-boo  @his-mochi-cheeks  @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13  @baekinmylife  @insta1010  @nana-banana  @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth  @totallynerdstuff  @byunbabybaek @maijinki @bbyunz@theclawofaraven @kingkushdealer  @uhobob @baekswifey​ @punchmebaekhyun @xlxbaekhyuneex

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Five Minutes

Pairing: Spencer x Fem!Reader

Summary: Five minutes is all it takes for Y/N to disappear

Warning: Kidnapping

Word Count: 1,717

A/N: I’m back! This is only part one!

Part Two HERE!   Part Three HERE!  Part Four HERE!  Part Five HERE!  Part Six HERE!

Master List HERE     Permanent Tag List HERE

“Where are you?” he questioned. You could imagine him sitting on his couch, popcorn and drinks laid out on the coffee table. He’d be bouncing his leg, fighting the urge to go check out his window to see if he could spot you. He was usually a patient man, but you’d both been looking forward to this evening.

You’d been travelling from state-to-state with little downtime for the past two months but finally, Hotch had given the team a complete weekend off. You and Spencer had quickly made plans to spend Saturday evening together at his apartment, he’d brought the latest Marvel film which you’d both been dying to watch.

 It was something which had bonded you both when you had first joined the team. As the newest, and youngest, member of the team, you had felt like the odd-one-out for a time. However, two months into your new job, Spencer had caught sight of a Marvel trailer on your phone which you were watching on the jet home. It had opened up a conversation which had led to you both find out that your interests were very similar.

 Through your growing connection with Spencer, you had become to feel more comfortable with the team. You’d started speaking to the other members more, even Derek, who had made you nervous at the beginning because of his muscles. He gave off the impression that he could crush you like a bug but once you got to know him, he was a sweetheart.

 While you had grown extremely close with the girls of the team, you still considered Spencer as one of your closest friends. Okay, that was a lie. Though you would never tell anyone, you harboured a crush of the resident ‘Pretty Boy’. It hadn’t formed straight away. You’d been friends for years, but then slowly, butterflies started to form in your stomach.

 When he would smile at you, your sides would tingle. When he’d laugh at something stupid that you had said, your insides would warm. On the occasion where he sought comfort and you hug you, you would feel like you could breathe – but in a good way.

 “I’m almost there, I’m just outside Little Istanbul” you told him, your eyes peaking into the little restaurant.

“Istanbul actually isn’t that small. It spans five-thousand three hundred and forty-three square kilometres and has a population of approximately fifteen million people. Of those approximately fifteen million people, sixty-four-point nine percent live on the European side of the city, with thirty-five point one living on the Asian side” Spencer tells you.

“Nerd” you snort playfully, rolling your eyes.

“It’s general knowledge, Y/N, unlike the knowledge you hold about The Little Mermaid” he counters, and you can hear the smile in his voice.

“That film is a classic and the songs are a gift” you are quick to defend with a small laugh. “Anyway, I’m nearly there. I’ll see you in a few.”

 You quickly say your goodbyes before tucking your phone into your pocket. It was nearing half-six and the streetlights were just turning on, casting a hazy orange glaze over the sidewalk. It was a nice night, a cool breeze blowing through the early autumn night. The streets were mostly bare, which was odd but not all-together strange. It was peaceful.

 You turned right, onto a small side road which acted as a short cut to Spencer’s apartment. The street was only about one-hundred yards, with two streetlights which lit nearly the whole road, apart from the small section in the middle.

 The little street is almost empty, little laying in a small pile off to the side. A person walks down the road towards you, headphones in their eyes as their head bops to their music, their hands in their pockets. He doesn’t acknowledge you as you pass, just continues pass and you continue on your way.

 Your just about to exit the little street when an arm wraps around your waist, a cloth covering your mouth and nose as your pulled backwards.

 __

  Spencer looked at his watch again. It had been nearly ten minutes since he had gotten off the phone with Y/N and she still hadn’t arrived. Little Istanbul was only five minutes from his apartment, so she should have been here by now.

 He pulled out his phone, quickly selecting Y/N’s contact and calling her. He went to the window, pulling back the curtain to look outside. The street was clear, apart from a single car which drove a little two quickly. Spencer turned away, letting the curtain full closed as he focused on the phone call.

 The phone continued to ring but Y/N didn’t answer, and the phone went to voicemail. He tried again, and again, but still, there was no answer. Why wasn’t she answering. Maybe she had dropped her phone, she always kept it in her jeans pocket. Surely she would have noticed though, right? And if she hadn’t noticed, she would still already be here by now.

 Spencer wasn’t sure what he should do. Y/N hadn’t arrived, and she wasn’t answering her phone. should he go and look for her? But what if she turned up just as he left? Well, he said to himself, she would just wait at the door or let herself in, I did give her an emergency key.

 Spencer strode towards the door, bending at the waist to pull his shoes on. Shrugging on a light jacket, he grabbed his keys and his phone, and left the apartment.

 It didn’t take long for Spencer to reach the side road near his apartment but when he did, he stopped. There on the floor, was Y/N phone. She had made it this far. As he looked up from the floor, turning to look behind him and towards his apartment, he froze. There, on the wall under a eerie glow, was a smidge of blood.

 Normally, Spencer wouldn’t have been worried seeing that. It was a street, sometimes people would knock into the wall or get into fights. However, he had walked down this road earlier and the blood hadn’t been there. Y/N’s phone was also on the floor, though there was no sign of her. His eyes scanned the floor again and caught sight of a piece of cloth caught of a small bush.

 Something wasn’t right. Separately, these things wouldn’t be concerning. However, Spencer had a feeling that something had happened, that something had gone wrong. Y/N was missing, that was all there is to it. He had walked to the street, taking the path she would have had to in order to get to his apartment, but hadn’t passed her. She was gone.

 He quickly pulled out his phone, pressing number three on the speed dial. It rang for a moment before connecting and Spencer didn’t allow the other person to talk. “I think somethings happened to Y/N.” “Reid?” Hotch asks. “What happened, what do you mean?”

“She was meant to come watch a movie but didn’t turn up, I spoke to her when she was five minutes away. I waited, to see if she was running late but she didn’t turn up” Spencer began to explain. “I traced the same path she would have used, and I found her phone in an alley. There’s a blood on the wall and a cloth nearby… I think maybe she was taken… something just doesn’t feel right.”

-

 Spencer sat at the conference table, his leg bouncing as the rest of the team came into the room. Each member took their seats, none of them looking particularly happy to have been called back to work early.

 “Where’s Y/N?” Emily asked, looking around the table.

Hotch glanced at Spencer before addressing the team, “Y/N’s missing. She was meant to visit Spencer but never turned up, instead, her phone was found in a side road, along with blood. A cloth was found near by and we’ve put a rush on that. The lab has made an early guess of it being chloroform…”

“What? When was this?” Derek asked, sitting up straight in his chair.

“Two hours ago,” Hotch replied.

“And you’ve only just called us, what the hell, Hotch?” Derek said, pushing to his feet in anger.

Hotch ignored Derek, turning to address the other members of the team, “Prentiss, take JJ and check Y/N’s flat. We don’t know if someone’s been following her. There might be something there if someone was. Derek, I want you and Rossi to go back to the side road, see if you can see anything we missed. Reid and I will start mapping out Y/N friends and family, anyone she could have come into contact with lately. Garcia’s already started looking through security cameras.”

 The team separated, each member going to complete their separate tasks.

 -

 You woke up feeling dizzy and your stomach rolled. You groaned, fighting off the wave of nausea. You laid still for a few more minutes, waiting for your stomach to calm down. The dizziness passed but your stomach still felt off, you ignored it though as you blinked your eyes open.

 You blinked a few times, your surroundings slowly starting to come into focus. The room you’re in is dark and damp, you can feel the moisture in the air as you breathe. The walls are solid concrete, the floor a matching grey and it take a moment for your brain to catch up and for you to realise you’re in a basement.

 In front of you are bars and when you look to your left, then right, there are bars there too. You don’t have the energy in you to turn over, but you would guess that there are bars behind you too. You were in a cage, like an animal.

 Your brain struggled to make sense of what was going on around you, still foggy from whatever had knocked you out. You laid on the floor of the cage, willing your brain to clear but the fog continued to cloud your brain, making it feel like it was full of cotton wall.

 Your eyes closed as you were unable to fight to keep them open. You felt yourself drifting away but as you went, you could have sworn you heard a lock turn… 

Permanent Tag List: @sskhair​ @sammypotato67​

[exodusmc]

“Please stop moving so much..”

Genre: Smut(not too explicit)

Words: 1963

Paring: Sehun  x   Reader

Warning!: Mentions of horror movies and scens(nothing major), public dry humping, very light pet naming and dirty talk, swearing, 

a/n: This one was requested :)

Gif is not mine 

“Come on Y/n!”Chanyeol’s voice was loud over the phone and had always been, ever since you met a few months ago. 

He was in one of your classes and he laughed the loudest out of everyone but he was a good guy, it wasn't hard to get to know him when you had a group project. You two clicked and he was like a brother to you, annoying and nice. Happy virus Chanyeol who moved a little too quick, figurative and literally. You can't count on one hand how many times you seen him trip over air, but he also thought it was a good idea to introduce you to all his friends when you’d known him for about three weeks. 

It had been Sehun first, his roommate, a boy built like a skysharpe with wide shoulders and the deepest eyes you had seen. He was your age and the youngest out of them all. Maybe you had a teeny tiny crush on him, a crush you blamed on his god like features. 

“I promise they want you to come and you have already met everyone, so I don't see why you are hesitant!”Chanyeol and his friends had a movie night every Sunday and he had begged you to come for the last two times, the only times you actually were glad you had work. 

“I know, I know…”biting your lip, you knew you couldn't lie to him or he would send you the biggest puppy eyes and whine for about a month.”Fine, I’ll come..But who is picking the movie?”

“Yes!”you couldn't help at smile at his excitement, a dreading feeling creeping over your spine.”Jongin is...so expect a horror movie, by now!”

Just great..

-

Arriving at his apartment, you wondered if you overdressed or if you stank or if you had something between your teeth or if you should have brought something or if-

The door opened and your thoughts stopped, nothing was in your head, not even a cricket. Just empty..

“Oh, hi..”Sehun stood in the door, his hair pitch black and nothing like the orange you remember seeing on him when you first met him over four months ago.  

Back then had it been short and colored like an orange but now was it long, so long that it fell down to his eyes, and black, so very black.

He moved from the doorway, showing you that you could come in and damn were you feeling your face slowly burning off. You had stared at him for far too long, ogled at the perfection of his face. 

“A-ah, hello to you too..”taking of your shoes you wondered if your horrible gut feeling was telling you to run away or if you were just ill.”I like your hair..”

“Thanks..”Sehun smiled slightly, a twitch on his right upper lip which told you that he was not so comfortable.”I like your li-..hairpin..”

You couldn't marvel too long at what he was about to say since the thundering steppes of Chanyeol shook the ground and you.

“Y/n! You made it!” Sehun was pushed to the side as Chanyeol whisked you away the second your shoes landed on the floor.”See, I told you she would come!”

Waving slightly, you stared back at everyone, mouth feeling way too dry. This friend group had always made you a little confused since it doesn't seem likely that half of them would actually be friends but you guessed that was what made them so close.

“Yes yes, we see now come sit down so we can start the movie!”Jongin grinned to you, like he always did  but you thought you saw something else, a glimpse of mischief that made you sweat. Something was going on,  something everyone else knew.”Hurry hurry.”

The lights were already off but as you glanced around the room did you realize there was a small problem, a tiny problem that weren't actually a problem but still. 

All the seats were occupied, Chanyeol literally squeezed himself between Jongdae and Baekhyun on the sofa, while Kyungsoo and Jongin shared the slightly smaller one. Junmyeon, Minseok and Yixing sat on the floor, while Sehun occupied the last chair.

You had nowhere to sit, all the floor spaces were taken if one wanted to see the Tv. Panic spread through your system and you scolded yourself for not listening to your gut. 

“You can sit with Sehun..”Chanyeol smiled, rolling his eyes after.”He always takes the chair so everyone else has to sit on the floor..”

“I don't!” the younger whined, glancing at you for a second. He doesn't want to share the chair with you...You should have stayed home. 

“Just go sit down Y/n so we can start!”Jongin once again usered everyone to settle down, so with defeat were you making you way to Sehun.

The sofa chair may be big but it wasn't big enough for two people and you contemplated running away when you locked eyes with Sehun. They were so dark but glowed due to the Tv and god had you just stared at his thighs as well. 

You tried smiling slightly, standing still until Chanyeol kicked you from the sofa so you fell right on Sehun. Everyone laughed loudly while you face was bruied against his chest, never feeling the hammering of his heart since yours were flying away. This is going to be a long night.

   The movie was playing and took away most of the tension with sitting on Sehun’s lap but you weren't sure if you liked looking at the screen. 

Jongin’s choice was the silence of the lambs and you hated horror movies, feeling like your soul could jump out your body any second. Everytime Hannibal spoke were you waiting for something to go awfully wrong. And suddenly was he just biting of a cops face, which had you, Chanyeol and Baekhyun screaming. 

You pushed yourself back, face turning until you could press your forehead towards Sehun’s neck, closing your eyes. Your breath fanned across his collarbones and you didn't know it but you had been squirming the whole time on his lap, so Sehun had a hard time concentrating on the film at all. Those fuckers knew exactly what they were doing, making you sit on his lap while they watched horror movies. 

“Are you okay?”Sehun sounded like he was in pain but you were sitting on his things so you guessed he had every right to be. 

“Y-yeah..”glancing up, you managed to get caught in those eyes again.”I’m fine thanks..”

He smiled for a second, gaze finding your lips. They looked too soft and tempting, alluring without you trying. 

   “I need water..”standing up on slightly shaking legs, you stumbled to the kitchen, trying to not think about the movie. 

It left Sehun glaring at each and everyone of his friends, frown pulling down his mouth. They knew about his crush since Chanyeol couldn't keep a secret for his life and still forced him through this situation. 

“Fuckers..”he muttered but his face brightened up when you came back, eyes slightly in a haze. Everything would be fine as long as you wouldn't feel the boner he had.

“Now it’s time for Annabelle!”your eyes widened, hands becoming clammy at the thought. You hated dolls with every fiber in your body and the wanted to watch a movie about them!

Sitting down on Sehun’s lap again, you didn't even want to face the Tv, shamelessly turning your body so you could easily hide. He was warm and the only thing you had in the moment. It’s going to be okay, the sentence repeated in your head over and over again as the film started, adrenaline racing through your system.

You didn't really know Jongin that well but  sure as hell would you beat him for making you watch these movies, softly muttering to yourself a promise of hurt, which was extremely cute to Sehun.

An hour in and you were sitting facing the Tv, eyes locked on the screen as the music became more and more ominous. You leaned forward as Mia’s hand reaches for the window and then you screamed, making Baekhyun and Chanyeol shriek as well. 

Your back pressed against Sehun but this time did he let out a groan and that’s when you felt it, the tent he had in his pants. Gasping, you tensed, forgetting the movie completely and drowning out the chatter of the others.

“P-please stop moving so much..”his whisper was strained in your ear, igniting fire through your body all the way to your core. Sehun’s hands came to rest on your hips, holding you but not sure in what way.”So-sorry..”

He muttered while you felt your cheeks heat up. Your mind wasn't paying attention to the film anymore but to the feeling of his jeans covered things, the fact that you wore thin pants didn't help at all. 

“It’s okay..”your voice was low and innocent, however, your thoughts muddled into differents scenarios which had you screaming in another way.

You actions weren't nice to him but your body had a mind of its own, ignoring all logic and how you were not alone. 

Moving your hips ever so lightly, you turned so you faced him, not looking in his eyes. This was it, you were too horny and didn't want to see Annabelle anymore. Leaning in, you placed your head between his neck and shoulder, legs on either side of his while your knees rested on the chair cushion. 

“I don't mind Sehun..”he swallowed hard, hearing the change in your voice, your lips ghosting over his pulse point.”I...I like it..”

It was like a switch flipped inside his head, fingers digging into your skin while he started to move you across his thighs. Sehun nudged his head so you had to look at his eyes, stare right into cloudy and fiery orbs. A mere inch was left between the two of you and you wanted to kiss him, push your lips against his skin but just sat there, grinding on his lap as your breath came out in pants. 

“Dirty dirty girl..”you tried to ignore the heat his voice spread through you, how the smirk dancing across his mouth made you want to jump him right then and there”Moving your hips so greedy over my thighs..Does it feel nice, hmm?”

Sehun forced you down harder and the denim rubbed against you aching pussy. The tv let out a scream in the exact second you moan softly, covering the sound so no one else heard, no on but Sehun. He was also greedy, greedy for the expression on your face, the pretty gasps from your lips. It was hard containing himself, surrounded by his unsuspecting friends. While you were on the brink of cumming did the end titles start playing and the lights turned on, giving Sehun the chance to see your burning face. Your body was tingling, desperate for release but you couldn't hid there anymore and  you didn't know if you could ask him to go home with you. Another smirk spread all over his face and even if it was late, would he not let you go. 

“I really hate when Jongin gets to choose the movies..”Chanyeol whine as everyone made their way out of the room. He sent a glance over his shoulder, seeing the two of you.”I have somethings I need to do with Kyungsoo so I’ll stay at his place. Night night.”

With that were you and Sehun alone, all alone.

“Now why don't we continue, baby?”

[agathaharknes]

yennaia + gamer au

This was supposed to be three sentences and definitely not crack but I just had to... sksjsjssksjjs.

Yennaia prompt: Gamer AU.

LINK TO ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN IN THE REPLIES.

Word count: 1.8k+ Pairing: Yennaia. Rating: T.

Tissaia really had no idea why she was doing this. Perhaps to appease Rita. Perhaps because her addiction to nicotine had worsened over the course of one year of a bloody Continent-wide pandemic and she was loath to use her credit card every time she needed a new pack of cigarettes. Perhaps she was going through a midlife crisis to cope with the fact that being the Chancellor of Aretuza College was already stressful enough without half the generations there trying to fool her subordinates into thinking cardboard replicas or even mannequins counted as attendance or simply because the rest of the Board of Governors (Stregobor) couldn't differentiate between what could be said through an email and what required her to clean her entire house so the background of her call was pristine.

Her controller vibrated in her hands, (Why, for the love of the Gods, couldn't that setting be turned off?) her knuckles turning white from gripping it so strongly. "Oh, for fu- heaven's sake." There, she had been ambushed. Again. A funny and wholly unexpected thing happened, though, one of the users turned on her companions, offing the lot of them with clean headshots the brunette definitely couldn't pull off in the span of twenty seconds.

"Uhh..." What does one say when your virtual saviour just betrayed her entire party on a whim and was being cursed at obnoxiously loudly and vulgarly for it?

Yennefer ignored Sabrina calling her names that absolutely applied to her and her hormonal reaction to a lovely blue-eyed MILF the likes of which she had only seen in her dreams. "No thanks needed, love. I was getting tired of seeing you frown like someone had keyed your car every time you got killed. A pretty thing like you should only have cause to smile." Oh, Gods, now she sounded like a creepy old man that lived in his mum's basement. Great. Good job. Her Social Studies major was an absolute hit. Fuck her life. Fuck Oxenfurt College. And fuck Sabrina's witch-like cackling while she was at it. "Name’s Yennefer." She choked out miserably.

Tissaia scowled at her laptop. Hackers. Amazing. This was the best day of her new normal life. "Mind telling me how you broke through the most expensive antivirus in the Continent, dear? Because now I really need a refund." Now she also needed to contact Aretuza’s IT team on a Saturday night, because she was not about to mess any further with these blasphemous machines, thank you very much.

Wait, what? "That wasn't me... You left your camera on." The woman legitimately squealed at that, her oversized jumper sliding down her left shoulder and exposing just a glimpse of her collarbone as she pinned up her hair into a bun with... were those pens fashioned as swords? Oh, bugger, this was so not the time to get turned on! "Are you alright?" Mercifully Sabrina, Renfri and Phillipa were already accosting someone else, else she was sure the brunette would've completely lost it, more than she already was doing, anyways. "Hello?" No answer.

Tissaia was fishing for her boots when she started ranting, “Oh, don’t you worry! I’m fine! Just dandy! This is exactly how I wanted my life to go.” She motioned with her hand to the space around her. “I wished for nothing more than dealing with complete morons from nine to six, five days a week, whilst trying to make sure my sanity doesn't desert me.” Biting her lower lip for a moment she began checking that the ends of the laces were the same length when she pulled them up. “Running right after to my local grocery store to buy more instant meals that are probably going to give me cancer in five years if the bullshit articles my mother keeps sending me-”

Yennefer had told herself she wasn’t going to allow this wasn’t going to get any creepier than her misguided comment but she still had a gift code for that nice liquor store which conveniently had retailers popping up every six blocks everywhere for the last few months, especially in Thanned isle, only Gods knew why. “This bloody succubus of a twat that is my best friend has been forcing me to constantly use this cursed game by changing the password for my email and then Aretuza’s server and then-” Bingo. One text to Philippa and they had her IP address, with a mortified Triss already calling Jaskier since she was the only one that had managed to get a decent scholarship at that posh college.

This was her future wife who was about to jump from a bridge from the looks of her and they just had to do humanity a great service by saving her from herself and from sobriety.

“Can you believe that tosser? I am a lesbian! I spent my teenage years clad in flannel until my girlfriends staged an intervention kind of lesbian! Yes, Vilgefortz, I will sue you for harassment in the workplace and I will blacklist you. No, Vilgefortz, I don’t want to break quarantine to go on a date with you and I definitely do not want your disgusting cologne anywhere near my-” Tissaia’s head shot up, her doorbell was ringing and she pinched the bridge of her nose, reaching for a new, disposable, mask.

“You stay right there.” She threatened the girl, who had the most beautiful violet… Perhaps she really ought to let Coral get her a therapist. It rang again. “Gods-damn-it.” She thought.

Her plan was going marvellously. She would only have to sleep with a knife under her pillow for a few weeks for blackmailing Sabrina (Who honestly hadn’t the slightest talent to pass off plagiarism as a sudden stroke of genius in her final project without her aid.) into going along with this. The blonde was lighting the candles around the monitor without trying to burn her hair off and had given away her best bottle of cheap but still good wine for the cause. Thanks to Renfri and her frankly psychotic, owl obsessed, girlfriend she already knew what she would be replacing her trauma-ridden last name with! Splendid!

The brunette shut the door on Jaskier’s face after taking the brown paper bag from his hands, spraying the bottle of vodka inside it with so much disinfectant that it dripped down onto her carpet. Taking off her gloves and disposing of them, she grabbed a knife from the counter and ignoring the annoying blue light that came from the kitchen table, “Oh, shit. You’re soulmates. I’ll tell the rest of the girls we’re all fucked.” Tissaia cut off the upper part of the glass in one smooth hit, like Calanthe had taught her when the then teacher could still be considered fun by her groups of friends.

“Shut up, tiddybug!” She heard Yennefer sing-song.

Feeling like being crass the blue-eyed woman took a rather large swing directly from the bottle. Sitting back down, she sighed. Yennefer took a dignified sip from her wine; she could do balanced when her significant other to-be needed to let loose. “Did you like the bottle? It has good reviews from… wait a minute… apparently several alcoholics who don’t know what a budget is.”

Tissaia’s face paled. “I thought you weren’t a hacker.” The woman muttered. She didn’t fancy getting kidnapped and… No, no, no. Fucking Rita. What was the cost of moving, again? If she slept four hours less a day and split her cleaning time in two she could probably trade this house for Stregobor's in-

“I am not!” Yennefer cried. Bloody hell. “You just mentioned that you worked at Aretuza and-” Sabrina had probably started a group call and Phillipa was indeed hacking into her computer to save her arse. The Redanian was currently writing a script for her to follow. “Your username in the game is your surname. My friends and I tried to get into that school a few years back and I do remember that the Chancellor is a woman and that her last name is de Vries.” Her username wasn’t her last name, it was actually something that suggested she was an Ice Queen of the highest order. Queen Elsa from the movie Frozen would be intimidated kind of Ice Queen.

“Everyone is aware the highest-ranking members of the faculty live in chalets near the castle, pardon, the building.” True. According to Triss, that was a part of their contract that if unfulfilled prohibited them from working there ever again. To Yennefer that seemed borderline cruel, forcing them to be available at all hours like circus animals for juniors that didn’t deserve their spots.

“My best friend is a student there and she knows which one is your home because she wants to eventually be a teacher.” Partially true. Until that day came, Triss, like any rational individual, avoided the Chapter’s Village like the plague lingered inside, and wouldn’t be caught dead there unless she had to stop Sabrina from doing something stupid because of the anarchist phase she was going through. Jaskier was an acquaintance of hers of sorts because Triss had tutored his boyfriend Geralt in Biology and being daddy’s boy, he knew which one was Tissaia’s house because he had almost gotten expelled like fifteen times.

“I honestly just wanted to do something nice for you, you sounded like you needed it and… I know quarantine hasn’t been lifted once in Temeria since it all started.” Philippa wrote then that she would probably make for a decent actor without flashing her breasts to the audience every five minutes. She pursed her lips and replied in the mock post-it note to fuck off.

“I… I… Thank you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed- I’m sorry, darling.” Her pale cheeks flushed at the term of endearment that slipped her tongue and Tissaia bowed down her head, red-painted nails caressing the glass bottle almost reverently. “Say, why don’t you tell me what your email address is and I send you my mobile via chat? The explosions in the background aren’t that, uhm, comforting to listen to when I’d much rather be hearing your voice.” Should she have looked up she would have seen the smile that threatened to split Yennefer’s face. “Only if you want to, of course! I- what am I even saying? Never mi-”

“No! Wait!” She placated. Sabrina squeezed her shoulder as she went to retrieve her phone charger, offering her a genuine smile. “I’d love to.”

“Okay.” Said Tissaia, an awed sound leaving her throat when blue finally meet with lilac. Gods, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Rita could have whichever bottle, all the liquor she wanted from the school’s cellar for indirectly enabling this.

Was one week a proper enough courting period to then buy the engagement ring? Or should she just have Philippa get her the best, costliest one from that jewellery eshop they all liked through some minor fraud that would take her like half an hour at most, today? “Good.” Yennefer de Vries had such a nice ring to it.

[superfanficnatural]

The Choice Part 9

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Christian Grey x Reader 

Summary: Deciding to get over your crush on Dean, you find Christian, a mysterious billionaire that manages to split your heart into two. Finding out hidden truths, your decision becomes a hard one, who will you choose?

A/N: Hey guys! It’s been so long since I’ve posted something let alone written something and I had actually finished up this chapter this morning in a random urge lol. I don’t want to get your hopes up, and I can’t promise I’m going to be posting like I usually was, but at least I can give the people who were waiting for this another chapter! As always, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Angst, Fluff.

Word Count: 2,572

Italics are thoughts

Masterpost

After an unnecessary amount of driving, you finally parked the Impala in the Bunker’s garage, the smile still just as strong on your face. You thought Dean would have gotten bored after the first half hour but he seemed just as content as you were. Of course, he tried to steel his face of emotion but you knew him well enough, he was enjoying it just as much as you were.

“Thanks for that,” you winked at him, handing him the keys.

He rolled his eyes, still attempting to seem annoyed, “Yeah, no problem sweetheart.”

You chuckled and opened the door, walking towards the war room with Dean following closely behind. As if it was muscle memory, you placed your bag down on the table and reached into your pocket to put your phone down as well, only realizing you didn’t have your phone.

“Hey, do you know where my phone is? I can’t find it anywhere,” you muttered, turning to Dean.

He swallowed, a bit heavily, “Uh no, I haven’t.”

You were slightly suspicious of him because of his reaction but didn’t think any more of it, shrugging your shoulders, “I guess I’ll ask Sam, he was the one who found me.”

He nodded and began treading towards his room, the second he turned his back to you, his face turning into one of guilt.

Looking around, you wondered where Sam was, looking in the library as well to find him nowhere in sight. Huffing out, you checked the only other place he could possibly be in, his room. You knocked on his door and called out for him, waiting a few moments for a response. A shouted, ‘come in!’ from the other side confirmed that he indeed was there. Opening the door, you walked in to notice Sam laying on his bed with his computer on his lap, the bed still made underneath him.

“Whatcha up to?” you asked, slightly confused as to what he was doing.

He smiled, “Just looking around for a case, it’s been a bit since the last time we were on one.”

You sat down at the edge of the bed, “Hey, do you have my phone? I’ve been looking for it all day and I have no idea where it is.”

He looked a bit confused, “It should have been with your clothes when you left the Hospital?”

You shook your head, “No, it wasn’t there.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Last time I saw it, it was there, maybe one of the workers stole it?”

You hummed, “It’s possible, unlikely, but possible.” You got up, “Alright Sammy, just let me know when you find a case,” you winked at him and left the room.

You had intended to go back to your room, but for some reason you couldn’t stop thinking about Dean. Walking over to his room, you knocked on the door, hearing an almost instant reply from him. 

“Unless you’re naked and covered in chocolate don’t come in!”

“Fuck off,” you laughed, walking in and closing the door behind you.

He was on his bed with his headphones previously on, obviously listening to music on his phone while he laid on his bed, a similar position to his brother.

“What’s up?” you questioned, sitting on the bed and reaching out to tap his leg.

He smirked at you, “Something you wanna say, sweetheart?”

You rolled your eyes, “Get your dick out of your mind and just answer the damn question.”

He chuckled, “Was just listening to some music, getting ready for bed.”

“I don’t suppose you couldn’t stay up a bit longer to hang out with me?” you asked, an innocent smile on your face.

He feigned being in thought, seeming as if he was really thinking about it, “Fine, but only if you get naked and cover yourself in chocolate.”

You bursted out laughing and slapped him across the back of the head, “Just meet me in the cave for fucks sake.”

As you were walking out of the room, he called out behind you, “Make sure you bring popcorn… and choco-”

You slammed the door shut before you could hear the end of his sentence, chuckling and shaking your head as you made your way to the kitchen. Reaching into one of the cupboards, you pulled out one of the popcorn packages and slipped it into the microwave, setting it to the time written across the back. As you were waiting for the popcorn, you grabbed a case of beers and set it on the countertop, popping one open and taking a sip. After drinking nothing but weird tasting water at the Hospital for the past few days, you were grateful to finally have some flavor to the liquid you were drinking. 

You didn’t want to think about it, but both Christian and Dean began to invade your thoughts. Are me and Christian even dating? And what’s going on with Dean recently? You really couldn’t tell what was going on with Dean, first he stays by your side at the Hospital the entire time, he doesn’t even allow you to thank him for saving your life, and he let you drive Baby? Something was up. You were broken from your thoughts by the beeping of the microwave, signaling the finished product of the popcorn. After grabbing a bowl big enough to fit all of the kernels, you filled it up and held it in one hand, the case of beers in the other. As you opened the cracked door with your hip, you walked in to see Dean on one of the couches facing the TV, scrolling through Netflix and trying to find something to watch. He turned to face you as you had made some noise and stole his attention.

“Come on over,” he patted the spot next to him, beckoning you to sit next to him.

Sitting down and putting the case of beers to the side, you grabbed yours and handed him his, placing the popcorn in the slight gap between you.

“Find something to watch?”

“Not yet, but I’m thinking an old western,” he responded.

“Of course you are,” you rolled your eyes with a smile. “Let me choose, I am not going to fall asleep to some boring old movie,” you grabbed the remote from him.

He gasped, placing a hand over his heart, “How dare you call old westerns ‘boring’?!”

You laughed, “Just call it like I see it.”

“Well then you are blind,” he huffed out, drawing a scoff from you.

You scrolled through Netflix, trying to find a movie the two of you would enjoy, eventually settling on one of the new Marvel movies, Endgame. About an hour into the movie, you looked over to Dean still intently watching the screen, at least he likes it. You had reached the end fight scene where Thor appeared and striked down Thanos with his new weapon.

“Why didn’t he just cut off his head?!” Dean exclaimed from his seat.

“It’s not a vamp, Dean,” you chuckled.

“Shhhhhh! Don’t talk during the movie!” he hushed you.

You were about to retort until you let it go, shaking your head with a silent laugh as he continued to watch the movie. Reaching the end, Thanos had won and obliterated half of the life in the entire universe, Dean nearly jumping out of his seat.

“What kind of ending is that?” he spat, unbelieving.

“Not everything ends with a happy ending, Dean,” you were having way too much fun poking at him throughout the movie.

“Massages do!” he exclaimed.

Your jaw dropped and an unbelieving scoff came out of your mouth, “Oh my god, Dean what the fuck,” you chuckled. 

He turned to you with a smirk, “And so does this.”

He closed the space in between you in milliseconds, his lips brushing up against yours softly. You were shocked at first but almost instantly gave into the kiss, his soft and plump ones feeling like heaven against yours. You didn’t want it to escalate further than it should have so you decided to pull away, seemingly not the first person to think such a thing since Dean was the one who broke off the kiss first. You both pulled away and as you looked at Dean with both adoration and slight confusion, he simply had a smile on his face, the crinkles around his eyes shining brightly in the dim room.

“G’night, Y/N,” he spoke softly before kissing you tenderly on the forehead and leaving the room. 

You sat there in utter shock at his ministrations. Did Dean just... was he being... soft? You were flabbergasted at the least and couldn’t tell if he was being genuine or trying to play some sort of angle. Shaking any of those thoughts from your head, you weren’t too tired so you decided to keep watching some TV on your lonesome. Clicking play on a series you had been meaning to watch for a while, you got comfortable in your seat and began your binge. You got as far as the finale of season one until you decided to call it a night and turn off the screen. You got up and collected the trash, the popcorn bag, the few bottles of beer, and headed towards the kitchen to throw them all away. Discarding all the trash, you walked down the corridor to enter your room, walking past Dean’s and hearing the rumble of a cell phone. Your curiosity got the best of you and you cracked open the door to his room, seeing a small light coming out of the drawer next to his bed. The thing that had your eyebrows furrowing into your face was the fact that Dean’s phone was sitting right on top of the drawer itself. You slowly crept into the room, making sure that you didn’t wake up Dean and opened it, peering inside to see a familiar phone with a name lighting up on the screen. Picking up the phone, you noticed that it was your own, Christian’s name showing as the caller ID. What the hell? Dean has my phone? 

“I can explain,” you heard the worried tone of Dean’s voice.

You looked down to see him awake in his bed, looking at you in fear as his gaze darted from your eyes to the phone resting in your hands. Of course, he was trying to get on my good side.

“Ten seconds and I’m out,” you gritted behind your teeth, moments away from losing it.

His face was littered with guilt and uncertainty but he took a deep breath to compose himself before starting, “At first, I had no intention of even touching your phone.”

You raised your eyebrow in defiance, silently telling him that it makes no difference.

“But then that...asshole started texting you, calling you,” his face was morphing into an expression of anger. “I was sitting next to you, thinking that you were dying as this stupid rich dude who only wants you for your body was making your phone ring.”

You had half the mind to cut him off and tell him how wrong he was but decided against it, letting him finish whatever bullshit excuse he was making up.

“The noise was killin’ me, hell, I couldn’t even hear your heartbeat anymore!” he shouted, shocking you. “So I grabbed the damn phone, shut it off, and put it in my pocket.”

“So this is you ‘explaining’ what happened, Dean? Are you fucking kidding me? You took my phone, lied to my face about it, and tried to cover it up with some bullshit story that doesn’t even make sense?!” you yelled back, his face going pale as he recoiled back into his bed slightly. “You know what, I thought that you actually-” you cut yourself off, shaking your head with a disbelieving laugh. “Fuck you, Dean.”

You turned around and slammed the door behind you, ignoring Dean’s cries to wait and to let him explain.

You stomped your way back to your room, positively fuming, steam practically rising from your ears. Who the hell does he think he is? Playing me for a goddamn fool, acting all sweet and kind just to turn out to be just another asshole as he’s always been. It was like the more you thought about it, the more infuriated you got. Getting into your room and slamming the door once more, you plopped down on your bed and took your phone out of your pocket, opening it to see practically a hundred missed calls from Christian. You closed your eyes and sighed, clicking on his number and putting the phone up to your ear, hearing it ring and praying that he would answer.

“Y/N?” just hearing his voice already managed to calm you down and bring a smile to your face. 

“Hey, Christian,” you breathed, feeling the anger that was once overtaking you dissipating.

“You got your phone back?” he asked.

“Yeah, long story but I got it. How are you?” 

“I should be asking you that, where are you? I saw that the hospital had discharged you,” you smiled at the concern in his voice.

“I’m at home, just resting up a bit more,” you bit your lip, a strange awkwardness coming to light, as if neither of you really knew what to say.

“I also heard that… the shooter came back,” his voice sounded strained, as if he was gritting his teeth.

You already knew how he felt, “Christian, I’m fine, nothing happened... Dean... saved me,” you reluctantly admitted.

You heard a strange noise coming from his line on the phone, “I can’t believe I wasn’t there to protect you!”

A loud crash registered in your ear and you felt horrible, “Christian, please, don’t blame yourself. No one knew that he would have came back to finish the job, but because of it we learned who hired him!” you tried to get him to move past it.

A sudden silence overtook him, “Someone... hired him?”

You began to regret telling him, “Uh... yeah.”

“Who was it?” his tone was very sharp and you knew that he was ready to track down whoever it was and kill them.

“Does it really matter? It’s over now,” you hesitantly tried to move on from the conversation, knowing there was a slim chance of that.

“Y/N, that person hired someone to kill you, and they aren’t going to stop simply because they failed the first time. Please, just tell me their name, I can’t protect you if I don’t know what’s going on,” his tone was so sincere and so warm that your heart felt heavy in your chest.

“Leila, her name is Leila Williams.”

Silence. Complete and utter silence. 

“... Christian?” you began to worry something had happened.

You heard him clear his throat on the other side of the line, “G-got it. Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll check in with you later, alright? Goodnight.”

“Christian? What’s going-” he hung up the phone before you could even finish the sentence.

Pulling the phone away from your ear and looking at the screen incredulously, you gaped at the sudden change of attitude and tone in Christian. He knew more than he was letting on, and you sure as well were going to find out exactly what it was. You got out your laptop and began your search. 

Next Part

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp @shadowsinger11 @donnaintx @flamencodiva @impala-1979 @talesmaniac89 @winchest09 @malfoysqueen14 @deanwanddamons @waywardbeanie @anathewierdo @janicho88 @katehuntington @whatareyousearchingfordean @emoryhemsworth @jensengirl83

Dean/Jensen Forevers Tag List: @akshi8278 @lyarr24

Female Reader Tag List (All Fandoms): @punof-agun

Tag List for The Choice: @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @spnfamily-j2 @greenarrowhead @vicmc624 @pie-with-hunters @m-winchester-67 @ellewritesfix05 

[amerie-wadia]

Painting JJ’s Nails

for the prompt “painting jj’s nails” by @maybanktho

this drabble somewhat follows canon pairings but you can read into my hints at mayward because i just can’t help myself. 

The Pogues had been out on the boat all day, mostly fishing but swimming a bit before the sunset and the water was still warmed from the heat of the day. It was the first true summer day they all got to spend together since John B and Sarah...well, since John B and Sarah came home. JJ was happy to give up the driver’s seat of the Pogue, too many weeks of just himself, Pope, and Kie riding in circles around the island desperate to find some place that didn’t remind them of John B. They never quite found that place.

Even with Sarah tossed into the bunch, it was the closest to normal JJ had felt in the past two months. Grief and loneliness had sent JJ into a spiral of isolation and cheap vodka. His head hurt, missing his buzz, and he had buried all his weed in the backyard so it didn’t tempt him. It still tempted him. He promised Pope he wouldn’t do that anymore.

It had gotten to be too much. Too much vodka too early in the mornings. Too many days of ditched work. Too many unanswered text messages. Kie had been livid with him. Pope had just been worried. Both were too hard to face, so JJ hid under his duvet and hung around Barry’s house more often that he’d ever admit too. Once he worked off the money he stole, he made enough to buy better vodka that got him drunk even faster.

JJ hasn’t taken a drink in five days.

To most people, five days doesn’t seem like many. To JJ, five days is a millennia.

Sarah and John B brought beer and JJ refused to make them stop when Pope told them JJ was trying to get clean. Kie has gotten mad again, but this time it was at John B. That didn’t sit right either so JJ chugged part of a gatorade and tossed his fishing line off the side of the boat to keep his hands occupied. As long as he didn’t smell it, it wasn’t too bad. Pope sat down next to him and started talking about hammerhead sharks.

Other than one uncomfortable moment, the day had been what JJ dreamt of for weeks. The air was warm and the breeze was glistening. Soft rock spilled out of Kie’s waterproof speaker as they drifted along the marshes, laughing and reminiscing about Kie’s Kook year and the summer before freshman year when they met Pope.

The sun set before they made it back to the Chateau, so it was dark and John B stumbled as the boat slammed into the shore, flailing around to find a thick enough tree root to anchor it to. Sarah pulled out her phone’s flashlight and shined it in his direction. Pope gave Kie a hand up and out of the boat. He offered one to JJ too, but JJ just rolled his eyes and hopped out of the boat, swinging an arm around Kie’s shoulder just to have her brush him off.

“Pizza?” Kie suggested as all five of them headed in through the porch and into the house.

“I can do pizza,” Sarah agreed.

“Hell yeah, then,” Pope chimed in.

John B scrambled through the top right kitchen drawer for the menu with the right phone number on it and then held it in Sarah’s direction as she called in their order.

“Don’t forget to ask for extra pepperoni,” JJ whispered midway through the call. Sarah just waved her hand at him as if she couldn’t believe that he thought she’d forget that.

“Wonderfull. Thank you so much,” she grinned, shutting off her phone and sticking the menu back in the drawer. “They said it will be about half an hour.”

“I should probably shower first,” Kie commented, studying the patches of dried sunscreen blobs on her arm.

“No,” John B whined. Let’s do something.”

“I feel so gross right now. You guys do something and in like ten minutes I’ll join you.”

“Fine,” John B huffed, looping his arm around Sarah’s shoulders as Kie headed into the bathroom and started up the shower. The sound of the shower water was comforting and JJ crawled into the corner of John B’s sofa so he could lean against the arm rest. Pope took the opposite end of his couch and John B and Sarah curled up on the loveseat.

“Shark tank?” Pope asked as he slowly flipped through the channels.

“Eh.”

“Friends?”

“Nah.”

“John B, what do you want to watch, then? Because there’s not much on other than the news.”

“Just give me that!” John B pressed, reaching out for the remote from Pope. Sarah used the moment to unwrap his arm from around her and she stood up. He was too engrossed in finding something to watch that he didn’t pay it much attention. JJ didn’t either, until she came back with two little glass bottles of nail polish.

One was turquoise and the other looked totally clear.

For some reason, JJ couldn’t help but watch.

She rested back up against John B but leaned over and rested her hands on the coffee table. Pope and John B continued to argue about the channel as Sarah began to coat her right hand’s nails in little blue strokes. The color was light and subtle and completely popped against her tan skin. Her strokes were precise and practiced, and none of the polish spilled out onto her skin or the wooden surface below. She finished one hand and began working on the next.

“What do you think?” she asked—surprisingly, looking directly at JJ.

“Looks great, babe,” John B answered as he flipped the channel again, barely glancing down to see the marvelous job she had done.

Her eyes didn’t stray from JJ’s. In fact, they widened in a bit of an offended gesture as if she was truly interested in JJ’s opinion on her manicure.

In all fairness, JJ did have an opinion on it.

“They look really, um, nice.”

“Want me to do yours?”

JJ choked on the air in his throat and Pope glanced over his way to assess the situation. JJ felt his cheeks flushing pink so he hit down on the inside of his jaw. Him? With painted nails. Pope’s eyes were warm and Sarah wasn’t laughing. Why wasn’t she laughing? It was a joke.

“What?”

“Do you want me to paint yours too? I have enough polish.”

JJ hasn’t been worried about the amount of polish Sarah had. He wasn’t worried about anything. Well, maybe he was a little bit worried about the weird urge to say yes.

“You can say no. I just thought it would be fun.”

JJ glanced over to John B, who was still completely focused on finding something to watch. Then he looked over to Pope, who just gave him a smile and then shifted his gaze back to the tv. Sarah was waiting for a response.

“I guess?”

“You can say no,” she commented again, hesitation lacing her voice.

“No, I mean yes. You can paint them.”

“Great! Do you like blue? I have other colors!” Her eyes were shimmering and JJ could tell why John B had fallen so hard for her. She bounced on the edge of her seat.

“Other colors?” he croaked, not understanding why his voice betrayed him.

“I only have a few here though. I think I have like a light pink and then a red. It’s dark though, like a wine red.”

That was too much description and JJ didn’t want to actually think about what he was doing.

“This one is fine,” he answered, pointing to the polish that she had already used.

“Easy enough,” she smiled, twisting the cap back off and slapping the coffee table lightly for JJ to put his hands down. He spread his fingers apart like he had seen her do. He looked to see if Pope orJohn B were watching but neither were, arguing yet again over which movie they were going to watch.

Sarah lifted up his right hand and her fingers were cold against his skin.

“Relax your hand,” Sarah instructed, holding up his thumb so the nail was pointed toward her. JJ tried to relax his hand but it only felt stiffer. After a few moments he found a sweet spot and Sarah grinned.

Once she began painting his nail it was too late to turn around.

He had expected to feel more of a weight or a tickle when the little brush floated across his nail but there was nothing other than the little stripe of blue polish. It was runny and it dropped to the creases of JJ’s nail beds and Sarah dug the corner of her own nail against it to prevent the color from seeping onto his skin. It chipped her own paint a bit but she was too preoccupied with moving along JJ’s hand.

It didn’t look as soft as it did on Sarah’s hands. His hands were too rough, too hairy—though it was bleach blond and JJ was the only person who actually ever noticed it—and there was bruising around his knuckles from when he’d gotten angry with Luke and punched a hole through his closet door.

It had only been a few days ago. The fight had been enormous and he’d gotten so drunk he genuinely thought he was going to die of alcohol poisoning. He was so drunk he couldn’t figure out how to answer his phone and let him know that John B and Sarah we’re home. He woke up the next morning to bloody knuckles, two broken ribs, and about thirty text messages from Kie and Pope. He’d promised to stop drinking that day, after he hacked up the entity of his stomach and dry heaved for about an hour. His head ached when John B pulled him into a hug.

“Don’t touch anything. Here, give me your other hand.”

JJ listened, setting his painted hand gently over his knee so his nails were out of harms way. Sarah picked up his other hand and began to paint.

“What the hell are you watching?” Kie’s voice asked suddenly. JJ flinched and Sarah gripped his hand hard to steady it after a brush of polish went across his index finger. Water droplets sprinkled lightly from her hair onto the couch beside JJ.

“Sorry.”

“Keep still.”

“What are you two doing?”

Her eyes felt hot on his own so he kept his gaze on his nails and shrugged. It was a rhetorical question—or at least Sarah and JJ took it that way.

“I can do yours too?” Sarah offered as she wiped off the excess polish from his finger and continued onto the next nail.

“Mine are already done. Maybe I’ll do my toes tonight.”

Girls painted their toes too?

“Ooh, good idea. I’ll do mine when I finish JJ’s.”

She had said it out loud. Obviously, JJ knew Kie could see it happening—knew everybody could see it happening—but it was still a bit uncomfortable to hear her say it out loud. And he couldn’t figure out why.

Because it looked really nice.

Sarah’s coat was smooth and even, no polish on his skin and it wasn’t too see through either. Her hand was steady and she carefully set JJ’s left hand down in the coffee table when she was finished.

“All done! You just need to let these dry for like twenty minutes,” she explained, twisting the cap back into place on the bottle.

Kie took a seat beside Pope and reached out for JJ’s hand.

“I wanna see!”

At first, JJ didn’t let his hands move—Sarah had said to keep still—but Kie was being gentle so he let his left hand fall before her and a big grin grew from the crown of her lips to her ears.

“They look amazing, Sarah.”

“Why thank you.”

Kie let his hand go and then Pope looked over to see the final result. JJ wiggles his fingers in Pope’s direction.

“Looks good.”

JJ refused to acknowledge the pink on his cheeks as the he continued to receive attention and praise for his turquoise nails. Sarah was talking to Kie about nail polish colors when John B finally settled on friends and finally looked over to see what all the fuss was about.

JJ was a bit more hesitant to show John B his nails—unsure as to why (probably because he idolized John B and if his friend said it looked stupid he would rip all his fingernails out).

“Cool.”

JJ’s shoulders dropped, tension easing from his spine.

“Sarah, remember that time you did those little flowers on your toes?”

“Yep.”

“That was sick.”

With his new found ease, JJ let himself admire the polish. It was beginning to dry but was still glistening and smooth. They looked absolutely perfect. And JJ kind of loved them.

He knew he would have to take it off before he went home that night. Luke would absolutely kill JJ if he saw the nail polish. But at least for a few hours JJ could enjoy the feeling of having his nails painted.

Maybe someday—if he could muster up the courage—he would ask Sarah to do it again.

[wizkiddx]

was thinking for toms most recent ig story it sounds like hes working out early everyday, what if u did a blurb where the reader does it with his and its like best friend --> something else ? sounded like a you type of story, id love if you gave it a go ❤️💕

oohkay so sorry this lit just came through this evening and I suddenly got v stupidly into it (if u put in a req before that I promise I am working on it I just got way to invested cos this is stupidly cute) xxxx

summary: what starts off as tom taking you under his wing and some sunrise workouts together might just develop into something more

“It shouldn’t be legal…. to be doing anything… this fucking early!” Spoken, well yelled, in between the fake strokes of the exercise bike and your pants. All you got in response was the two men laughing at you, no sign of sympathy at all, as your gritted your teeth - fighting against every body instinct to stop the movements. Your heart was pumping like the clappers; breathing shallow and rushed and your arms… your arms felt like they were about to fall off. Combine that with the lack of sleep from waking up before the sun did at 5 am - meant you felt like your were in literal hell.  

Why ever you’d agreed to do these workouts with Tom and Duffy escaped you. Being the new and rising actress, with a new supporting role in the next Spiderman, meant you’d spent a lot of time with Tom over the past few weeks. Not to inflate his ego either, but Tom had been a real life hero to you. See, you were the complete opposite of his experienced and seasoned professionalism - this was your first acting gig. And what a gig it was, the second biggest part in a Marvel movie. You never really believed you’d get the part and even when you did, were pretty sure it was some elaborate joke, where Ant and Dec were going to jump out from some corner and go ‘ha its a prank!’ or something. 

Yet somehow it was all still happening, you had been flown halfway across the world to spend three months alone on a film set. Well obviously not alone, but you knew no one - you were a complete outsider. That, really, was the reason you’d agreed to do these sessions with Tom. He’d offered half heartedly while between takes as you were moaning about how out of breath you got in that scene. At that point, you’d only known each other for a matter of weeks, he really hadn’t expected you to commit to 5 am each and every morning. What he wasn’t aware of though, was how ocmplerly stranded and lonely you felt here, hence why you jumped at his offer. 

And yes you loved to moan and complain when you were there, however you were also so incredibly thankful he ever offered. Duffy, Tom’s PT, was a right laugh too and he took great joy in torturing you - and was also entertained by the new and inventive ways you’d insult him after he ordered you about. 

“Come on Y/n, 200m more and then we are done, even your little arms can survive that.”

“Really … not the encouragement… I was looking for.” Still panting, face bright red and blotchy as you pressed your legs straight again.

“Tom? You wanna help Y/n out?” 

“Nah you know… kind of enjoying seeing her in pain.” The British voice laughed from somewhere behind you, making you roll your eyes.

“Why the hell… are you not… torturing him?” He sounded way to comfortable and relaxed to be working hard. 

“He’s got a stunt heavy day today so wanted to go easy this morning.”

Now that was a bloody joke. You were BOTH filming the SAME scene today, doing the SAME stunts. 

“Did I forget to mention Y/n is on set too?” The joy in Tom’s voice made you want to do horrible things to him. Even though you felt like you wanted to collapse on the floor, you’d happily do a set or two on a punch bag right now - if that punch bag was Tom’s face. 

Before you could hurl some fresh abuse at your costar, Duffy called time on the rowing machine, turning the display off and passing your water bottle over as you slouched on the slidey seat. 

“Done good Y/n/n, I am actually super impressed with your progress” The stocky man patted you on the back genuinely, bringing a bit of smile to your otherwise grimacing face. He went over the chat to Tom about some boy shit that you couldn’t care less about, allowing you a couple minutes to get your breath back. As soon as you did and tried to dismount the machine of death, your ruined legs seemed to have other plans, shakily buckling so you ended up starfished on the floor, groaning at the dull ache that came with the sudden movement. 

And what show of concern did Duffy show you? A belly laugh that echoed round Toms indoor gym making you groan again, throwing your forearm over your eyes. It was in fact the curly haired brunette, who came and knelt by your side, wordlessly balling up the towel and placing it under your head as you shot your eyes open in shock. 

“You okay? Sorry… I might’ve taken our friendly competition a bit too far.”

“I just… just might have to gain the power of flight this afternoon cos my legs aren’t gonna bloody work.” Tom chuckled and shook his head at your dry humour. 

“Oh I’m sure we can talk to Jon and get that arranged… not like Marvel don’t spend years crafting the script and storyline for a newbie actor to change it all.”

“Might I remind you… they wouldn’t have to if your weren’t such a dickhead!” You exclaimed, sitting up and staring at him with an exasperated look than only made him burst out laughing again. 

“I’m sorry I’m sorry… I just cant take you seriously when you look like such a tomato!” His voice went an octave higher as he laughed at himself, the situation getting even worse for you when you heard Duffy join in too. 

The boy was bloody lucky you couldn’t lift your arms right now, otherwise they’s almost certainly be attempting to ruin his pretty boy face. 

/////////////////////////////

After a long day of shooting you and Tom were in one of the set buggies, being taken back to your trailers to change for the evening. There was a peaceful silence until Tom ruined it yet again.

“ Got any fancy plans for this evening then?”

“Well you know me, back to my lonely little old place and  frozen pizza - so living the movie star life.” 

“It’s a Friday! You not going out with your team or anything?” He sounded so bemused at your quiet plans, and mention of a ‘team’ had you cocking your head to the side. 

“‘My team?’ Tom until I get my movie star pay check I can barely afford my pizzas, never mind a whole persons wage.” You were still only three weeks into filming and although you spent an hour every other morning sweating your ass off with Tom - apart from that you’d tried not to impose yourself on him too much. You didnt want to look clingy and naturally Tom always had a mountain of people vying for his attention - you would go to the back of a long line. So honestly, you were still a bit of a mystery to him, right now you’d both only scratched the surface on each other. 

“Really? I know this is your first big job but I thought you’d have someone here?” 

“Nah… I mean I’ve kinda clung to the Marty on the camera crew but he’s going to see family tonight sooo.”

“Come back to mine. I’ve swapped Harry for his twin Sam, which is a bit of an upgrade cos Sam’s a chef. He just arrived last night. I bet he can one up any pizza you were planning on.”

“Honestly I don’t want to impose, sorry I didnt mean for this to be a pity party or-“ The buggy slowed to a stop and Tom instantly vaulted out of it, standing right infront of you and blocking you exist off the back sofa. Both of you were still in costume, Tom in latex and you in your corset-esque two piece, but then both wrapped in matching long line black jackets supplied by set. 

“No come on I’m serious… Sam’s dying to meet you and it’d be good to spend more time together. You know, cos of chemistry and all.” The last bit was a switch from his cool and smooth, normally easy going tone - into something a bit more… anxious? Just like that, before your brain even knew what it was doing, you agreed, smiling broadly and nodding. 

So barely an hour later, you were knocking on the doors to Tom’s mansion-ish rented Atlanta home which was much much more grand than what the studio had arranged for you. Even though you were here most mornings, this time it felt different. Yeh it was stupid, but you can’t help the way you feel and you were stressed. For no real reason… just, just because. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t awkward at all  and you especially instantly hit it off with his younger brother Sam. Everything just felt easy and simple which meant so much more considering you’d felt so isolated an alone halfway across the world for your home comforts. Being British too, simply chatting to the two young men about your hometown and growing up was just so familiar, it really helped you feel less homesick.  Naturally too,  you’d fallen into a casual and friendly ribbing of Tom with Sam, making the three of you spend to majority of the evening cracking up (or in Tom’s case pouting at the abuse). It was a nice change from the two on one attack you got from Tom and Duffy that morning. You’d all cooked dinner together… well no, you and Tom had stood idly watching Sam cook an amazing chicken curry dish - which he promised to give you the recipe too. Honestly Sam felt like your long lost best friend, especially when it came to your shared ability to berate Tom for anything and everything. 

About an hour ago Tom had stuck on the film, effectively shutting up you and Sam - thankfully for him since Sam was just about to get to some rather embarrassing stories of Tom as a kid. You and Tom were on the longer grey sofa; with Sam sat  the other side of the coffee table in an impressively soft armchair - looking as though it was swallowing the lanky boy. The calm, the silence and the comfort was only going to go one way for you though. After your workout this morning, plus all the running and jumping during the shoot,  after what had already been a pretty intense week, it was hardly surprising that you didn’t even notice yourself drifting off the sleep. 

Who did notice though? Perhaps your brown haired costar who’d been stealing glances across to you ever since the movie had been put on? Because as much as he hated to admit it to himself, this didnt seem to be panning out as a normal job. A normal job is something you put your all into, for a couple weeks, and then leave with good memories and a good pay check. Yes, he had only known your for a matter of weeks or so but it already seemed to be unfathomable to cut ties with you. How would he go without your kind mannered abuse everyday? You were just refreshing, new and mysterious. And Tom was more than intrigued, his interest was peaked. 

And it was stupid to feel like that…. Of course it was. You can’t fancy a colleague because things get complicated and awkward. Tom knew that. 

Then why was he now delicately draping a blanket over your frame and smiling smally when you hummed in your sleep, in what seemed to be a show of appreciation for the layer of warmth? 

Because you were his excited puppy of a costar who is giving everything she has for the job? Because he is worried and wants to look after you? Because he cares? 

No matter why, in that moment you were contented and as was Tom. Oh and Sam? 

Sam saw the tell tale signs in his brother. He saw the way Tom had been touching your arm or the small of your back just a little more than what would be considered normal while he’d been cooking. He’d seen the way Tom had been laughing purely because you had. His eldest brother never did anything rash, it was always a painfully slow process for everyone involved. But Sam thought this just might be the start of something. The start of a slow burn.

[xxx-cat-xxx]

we’re collecting dust (but our love’s enough)

Have a little bittersweet Pepperony & Ironfam fic. As always, thanks to @whumphoarder for beta reading!

_________________

And here’s the thing about getting old: it’s marked by an ever-rising contrast between the good days and the bad days. On good days, Tony can still spend hours tinkering in the garage or playing ball with Peter’s eight-year-old son, Ben, down by the lake.

But on bad days, when phantom pain is hijacking all of his senses (despite the fact that two decades have passed now since that final battle), putting on the prosthesis is out of the question—as is getting down the stairs from the master bedroom.

And on the really bad days, his joints are so stiff that he’s barely able to lift his one remaining arm high enough to bring his migraine medication up to his lips.

“Pep?” Tony croaks, hating the weakness that’s echoing back at him. He’s not sure if she’s even close enough to hear him, but he trusts FRIDAY to relay the message that his wife is needed.

It takes her longer than it used to, but then Pepper is by his side, putting an arm behind his back in a practiced motion to help him sit up a little more. He bites back a groan when the change in elevation only increases the stabbing pain behind his right eye.

“Open your mouth,” she directs, firmly but warmly, before placing the pills on his tongue and bringing the water glass to his lips so he can take a sip. He loves her for the lack of pity in her eyes, for her focus on the practicalities of caring, for the calmness masking her worry― although none of that is surprising. Hell, they’ve been through far worse than the thunderstorms in his head.

Pepper adds a heating pad to the collection of pillows propping him up and pats it with an inviting gesture. Wincing, he lies back down, then curls onto his side, pulling his legs up to his stomach.

“Here, just in case.” Pepper puts a trash can next to the bed, freshly lined in order to avoid the smell making his nausea any worse. Tony really hopes he won’t throw up the pills he just took, but the possibility is definitely there.

“You’re the best, Miss Potts” he mumbles, and only then realises that this particular nickname is already a few decades too old.

“Get some sleep, Tony.” She brushes a kiss on his forehead and gently shuts his eyes with her palm. He opens them again the moment she’s left the room, unable to find rest just yet.

With difficulty, Tony turns onto his other side so that the photos on the nightstand come into view. Morgan and her girlfriend Riri with their surfboards at Malibu beach, the sunset bathing them in a warm, almost otherworldly light. Peter and Ben, who is sitting on Rhodey’s lap in the wheelchair and laughing at someone behind the camera. Happy and May, arm in arm and a little drunk on the evening of their tenth anniversary.

Tony keeps looking at the photos until the drugs kick in and they turn blurry in front of his eyes while he finally drifts off.

*

It’s early evening when he wakes again, his head still throbbing and his body tired, but feeling miles better than earlier. The house is quiet and Pepper is nowhere to be seen. Tony lies still for a moment, marvelling at the simple fact that he is able to form comprehensive thoughts without feeling like his brain is being eaten alive.

After a while, he’s able to sit up on his own and slowly make his way to the bathroom. He uses the toilet and brushes his teeth to get rid of the stale taste in his mouth. Then he has to hold on to the basin for a while because he starts to feel lightheaded from being on his feet for a phenomenal five full minutes. Finally it passes, and he washes his face with cold water to get his blood pressure back to a more reasonable level.

When he looks up, there’s an old man staring back at him from the mirror, rumpled grey hair and an even greyer beard. He bears a vague resemblance to Howard Stark―Howard Stark if someone had tried to melt away half of his face.

The snap has left a long-term toll, and not just in the gruesome scars all over his body. Tony had a stroke last summer, after which he’d temporarily lost the movement in his one remaining arm and was drooling for weeks, and he’s already on his second pacemaker this year. Not that he’s complaining―better to be old than dead, thank you very much―but some things really just suck. He stares at the mirror image a moment longer and then sticks out his tongue at it, content to see that this makes him stop looking like Howard.

“Tony?” He flinches when he hears Pepper’s voice from downstairs, though she doesn’t sound like Pepper at all. Her tone is scared, almost desperate. “Where are you?”

“Hon-” he stops to clear his scratchy throat and tries again. “Honey, I’m up here!”

Her footsteps run up the staircase and he turns around to see her enter, dressed in her favourite light blue summer dress, the long hair cascading down over her shoulders.

“Tony?” she asks again, breathing hard. Then she takes him in and relief blooms on her face. He registers the tears on her cheek and automatically raises his good hand to wipe them away.

“What happened?” he asks softly. But he already knows.

Closing her eyes, she leans into his touch. “I was in the garden,” she starts. “I was, I think I was watering the sunflowers, and then, for a second, I―I didn’t know. Where I was. Where everyone was.”

“Oh Pep,” he sighs, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close. It’s not the first time this has happened, but all the other times she’s been inside the house where FRIDAY could help her make sense of the situation and get back to reality quickly. “How long were you out there?”

“I don’t know,” Pepper mumbles. “I thought―I thought it was a park, maybe? That I was back at my parents’ place and went out for a walk. But then I saw Morgan’s little house and remembered.” She takes a shaky breath. “God, Tony, it’s all such a mess.”

“You’re alright,” he whispers, and then, knowing it’s not herself she is scared about, he adds, “I’m here. Morgan and Riri are flying around the world somewhere. Peter is in Queens—it’s his weekend with Ben. They might be visiting Happy and May just now. Rhodey is… I don’t actually know where Rhodey is right now, but he’s fine. Everyone’s doing okay.”

“I know,” she mumbles, pulling away. “Now I remember.”

“Good. That’s good, Pep. It was just―a glitch. A tiny glitch in your memory.” He forces a smile and shifts a bit of his weight against the doorframe, his legs suddenly feeling weak.

Pepper, of course, catches on to that. “How's your headache?” She seems to have caught herself, but he wonders whether she remembers his migraine or just guessed it from the situation. “Why are you up?”

“Had to pee. But I’m better, promise.” She looks at him critically, and he adds, “Just won't be up for anything demanding for the rest of the day.”

“That’s fine.” She runs her hands through her hair, combing it with her fingers before tying it up in a bun, her way of reasserting control. “You should go back to bed. I’ll fix us something light to eat.”

Tony doesn’t like the idea of leaving her alone right now, but making it down the stairs to the kitchen seems... challenging. But he’s already got a better idea. “Actually, I was thinking of taking a bath. Getting a little ripe,” he jokes. “Will you help me wash my hair?”

It's always good to give her something easy to do when the dementia is playing tricks on her, something to busy her hands and distract her mind.

“Uh-huh.” She looks right through him, then sighs a little. “Sure. Why not.”

There used to be a time after Afghanistan when Tony couldn’t have set foot in a bathtub if an army had forced him to. He avoided them the same way he avoided caves and, later, endless night skies or Sci-Fi movies with wormholes. It was only Peter’s immense disappointment over not being able to watch the fourth Star Trek movie together that finally pushed him into seeing the counsellor who helped him get a grip on some of this.

(Almost starving in space, Peter’s five-year disappearance and Pepper’s pregnancy might have also played a role, but hey, saying you started therapy to be able to watch Leonard Nimoy in a bathrobe saving whales makes for better dinner table jokes).

Either way, he’s glad that his bath-o-phobia is mostly cured now, because their lakehouse tub is plain amazing, and not having to stand to shower on days like these is a blessing.

The hot water and the essential oils Pepper added to it do wonders for Tony’s aching body. He breathes in the steam that reminds him of expensive spas on New York’s winter days. Pepper has turned her back towards him, organising the already neat collection of tubes and bottles on the counter. Unimpressed with the solemnity of the scene, he playfully splashes some water at her. She turns towards him and smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Tony could tell from a mile away that she’s still shaken.

Time for plan B.

“Will you join me, honey?” Drawing out the last word, he blinks his eyelashes up at her seductively, which finally makes her laugh for real.

“Well, Mr Stark, if you’re asking like that…” The dress slides down her shoulders and collects around her feet, and her undergarments quickly follow. She glides inside the tub more gracefully than should be legal for anyone over sixty, and, copying him, flicks some water onto his nose.

Ignoring the perfect opportunity for a water fight, Tony extends his arm and pulls her close to his chest, taking in her wrinkled skin and the roots of grey in her ginger hair where the dye has grown out. She intertwines her legs with his and lets her weight, minimised by the water, be borne fully by his body. Her cheek comes to rest on the soft spot between his collarbones. She is moving up and down in rhythm with his breaths, creating tiny ripples on the surface of the water, and he holds her tighter, ever tighter.

Pepper readjusts her position and runs her hand down from his neck, to his stomach, and back up again. He responds with a kiss to the top of her forehead and then starts tracing the outline of her breast with his index finger. She stops to look down at them critically. “Not really what they used to be.”

“Still better than what I have to offer,” he deadpans. At this point, his chest is basically one big scar tissue. “And personally, I’m still a fan of them. It. All of it.”

He can hear her smile in the way she lets her breath out through her nose.

They stay like that for a while, Tony feeling the tension bleed out of his body, the pounding of his temples ease a little, and his eyes slowly falling shut again.

“I was so scared,” Pepper suddenly admits into his collarbones. He feels drops of water trickle down his neck and knows she’s crying even before she sniffles quietly.

“I know,” he says quietly. “But it will be alright, love.”

“Will it, though?” she asks, ever-critically, ever-questioning. Too many of his promises have shattered before her eyes for her to blindly believe him now, so he doesn’t make her any new ones, doesn’t talk about the world-renowned team of scientists he already hired when the first symptoms showed themselves, about the devices he’s working on down in his garage. She already knows all of that. It’s not what she needs to hear right now.

Instead, he swallows hard and says, “Pep, listen. We’ll get through this too. And if… whatever will happen. I'll be there.” What he doesn’t say out loud is what she already knows from how tight he’s holding on to her:

I won’t give you up without a fight.

“I know,” she whispers. Then she takes a deep breath before untangling herself from his embrace. “So, are we going for the anti-dandruff shampoo or can I use something that won’t make you smell like coconut?”

Tony positively purrs while Pepper massages the shampoo into his scalp. “Close your eyes and mouth,” she commands when she tilts his head back before starting the shower. And a laugh bursts out of Tony, because this is the same tone she used to use on Morgan when washing her hair, and in response their daughter would screw her eyes shut and bite her lips so tight in such concentration that her whole face scrunched up with it.

“What’s so funny?” Pepper asks, so Tony, not one to admit to nostalgia, just twists the showerhead out of her grasp to point it back at her, finally getting himself that water fight.

*

After drying off and pulling on a fresh pair of pajamas, Tony is put back to bed with his tablet and a promise that Pepper will join after making pasta. He checks his email, then sets the tablet aside and gets back up to open the window. He lets his eyes wander to the garden and lake that are just visible in the last rays of daylight.

Sometimes, on bad days, he cynically wonders what will give out first: his broken body or Pepper’s battered mind. But on good days, that's not what counts. They might have months, or years; if things go great, they might even have another decade. Tony has long, long ago started to regard every additional day in his life as something he doesn’t have a right to, and sworn to himself to use them to the best of his ability. That’s what it comes down to, in the end. He and Pepper will do what they have always done―simply keep going as long as they can.

“Hey, old man.” Pepper is standing in the doorway, holding out a bowl of blueberries. “I picked them earlier in the garden―forgot all about them. You want some?”

“Sure.” He turns around to fully look at her. “I'd love to.”

_________________

I hope you liked it! Credit for the idea of Riri Williams and Morgan Stark getting together goes to @fuzzydeergirlart‘s wonderful art (or at least that’s where I go the idea from). 

All my fics

[stydiaeverafter]

Not all heroes wear capes

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Characters: Evan “Buck” Buckley, Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz

Rated: T

Words: 2k

Read on ao3

Summary: What Buck thought was an ordinary Thursday night, soon changes into something much more when feelings for his best friend are exposed.

A/N: I've recently fallen into watching 9-1-1 and am obsessed. Right away, I felt the chemistry and love between Buck and Eddie. I love the family feels I get when I watch them with Christopher. So I added three of my favorite elements in my first Buddie fic. I know it won't be the last time writing for them! I hope you enjoy it!

It was an ordinary Thursday night.

Buck had invited Eddie and Christopher over for pizza and movies. They had ordered the supreme of course, which Eddie had all but inhaled, and a small cheese pizza for Chris.

They were watching Marvel movies and talking about who their favorite superhero was. Chris picked Spiderman because he liked that everyone saw him as ordinary but he was so much more. Eddie picked Iron Man, most likely because of the ties to the extreme situations he had been through in his life. And Buck picked Captain America, of course; it was an easy choice to make.

Halfway through Infinity War, Chris had fallen deeply to sleep. Buck loved having his buddy here. He liked making sure he was always safe. If he was being honest, he loved the kid. Chris had helped inspire him in more ways than one. He was the greatest miracle.

The second greatest miracle was his best friend. He had been so grateful to have met someone like Eddie Diaz. They had clicked from...almost the moment they had met. It took some thawing, but they were now inseparable.

But if he was being honest again, he also loved his best friend...as in...he was in love with Eddie. Buck hadn’t known exactly when it had happened, but now that it had, it was like falling asleep. It was effortless. Natural.

They had spent years getting to know one another, and every moment was special to Buck. When Chris had been away at camp, and both Buck and Eddie had been missing him like crazy, they hung out practically every night for weeks to soothe the ache.

Over that course of time, Buck caught himself staring more at Eddie. Those lingering glances would hover over the guy’s lips, fingers, hair, nose. When he realized what he had been doing, he wanted to kick himself. But it wouldn’t stop. He had tried to go on a random date, but it was no use. These feelings wouldn't go away. It wasn’t some new development either he had realized, it was just finally coming to the surface.

However, he had no idea if it was one-sided. At times, Buck thought that maybe Eddie was feeling what he felt, especially when the guy looked deep into his eyes the way he did. But even if Eddie did feel something, Buck felt as though he was being a coward. He didn’t want to take the risk of losing the relationship he had for something that wasn’t a promise of being reciprocated.

For Buck, the realization of his past happened when he knew he had fallen in love with Eddie. It had been this way for him all along. But he had ignored the inner urges over the years and slept with tons of girls as Buck 1.0. Luckily, Abby with her kindness and good heart had helped him to grow. Wear less of a mask. And while he still was attracted to women, he was deeply in love with the man sitting next to him.

It was starting to cloud everything though. To the point he thought maybe putting distance between them was the next step, although he didn’t want that at all. This realization within him started to make him anxious, irritable, and quiet, something he never was. He didn’t know how to pretend anymore, not when all he wanted was to truly be with Eddie in every way.

He wanted to be a part of their world. And the thought that someone else would come into Eddie’s life and have that privilege, hurt more than he could stand.

Getting out of his head, he took another swig of his beer and looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. They had been watching movies for hours. He took a deep breath and pretended to act normal as he looked over at Eddie, “You guys can stay the night. It’s late and he needs sleep.”

“You sure?”

“Of course, the couch is big enough for the two of you. Besides when he was gone you spent the night a lot.” Memories that Buck couldn’t get out of his head and that he had replayed up in his bed nights after yet creating a different type of scenario of Eddie spending the night.

Eddie nodded, “Thanks, Buck.” But instead of looking grateful, his best friend looked down at his hands, worried lines covering his brow.

“You okay?”

Eddie looked over at him, that beautiful face that Buck was so attracted to etched with worry, “I feel like I should be asking you that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Eddie drawled, “that you’ve seemed uptight all night like something is bothering you. Actually, for the last few weeks, it seems. Even at work. I thought it was just because you were missing Christopher like I was, but now that he's back, you're still acting like something is wrong. What’s going on?”

Damn. Buck had tried to hide how he was feeling, but it was getting harder and harder to fade away. Especially when they were both single and he had finally had some deep closure with Abby. “Uh, nothing, man. I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“Excuse me?”

Eddie rolled his hazel eyes, “Please Buck, you act as if I don’t know you or somethin’. This is me we’re talking about, us, whatever it is you can tell me.”

Us. If only Eddie knew how that word haunted Buck in every waking hour. Anxiety started to overcome him as Buck removed himself from the couch, and hopefully the situation. “Nah, I promise. I’m fine.” He walked into the kitchen and started to clean up dinner.

He looked over to see Eddie putting a blanket over Christopher and turning off the TV. Eddie wasn’t going to give up on this conversation. That much was certain. When his best friend had his mindset on something, he followed through every single time. Buck just wanted to get the hell out of there before he did something stupid.

Turning on the sink, he started washing the dishes as if that would somehow wash away his feelings. Nothing would do that.

He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, and he closed his eyes from the touch of it. God, he wanted to embrace that touch. The few times they had hugged, he had clung on for dear life not really understanding why. Now he understood, more than he cared too.

“Evan,” he heard his name whispered and he trembled from the thrill of it coming off of Eddie’s lips, “Please...talk to me.”

The way Eddie had begged, made Buck tremble even more. God, he just wanted to hold Eddie in his arms.

He shut the running water off and turned around. Eddie was so close to him that his heart pounded like a drum inside his chest.

“I can’t…” Buck replied sadly as he breathed out. “Just let it go, okay?”

Eddie finally nodded after searching Buck’s face, “Okay, if that’s what you want. I’m just really worried about you.”

Great. Now he was being pitied, something he definitely didn’t want or need. Anger flared in his body. “Because you’ve always been so open with me.”

Eddie frowned and his mouth fell open in surprise, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Buck groaned, wanting nothing more than to end this conversation. “Honestly, just forget I said anything.”

“No, please,” Eddie pushed with a flicker of anger as well, “If you have something to say and want to throw punches, I’d rather you just say it to my face upfront.”

Fine. I guess we’re doing this, “I feel like half the time I don’t know what you’re thinking, and when I ask, you push me away. You’ve pushed me away for a while now.”

“Kind of like you’re doing now?”

Buck nodded, grabbing on to Eddie’s thick wrist, which was now pinning him closer up against the sink. How was it possible that they were getting closer and closer within this small space? “Guess so.” He looked over Eddie’s shoulder to see if their loud whispers had woken Chris up.

The little boy was still fast asleep on the couch.

“Well,” Eddie exclaimed with a bit of desperation Buck hadn’t seen in some time, “maybe we should both be honest with one another for a change. You can start with what’s really bothering you, then I’ll gladly answer any question you want.” When Buck didn’t answer, Eddie frowned and bit his lip, “I know it involves me in some way, so just tell me, Buck!”

Buck didn’t know if it was the way Eddie bit into that bottom lip of his, the way his body was up close to his, or the fact that Eddie was pushing for answers and he was tired of hiding it from the guy, but Buck’s body responded and he closed the distance between them.

His lips crashed onto Eddie’s and he roughly kissed the guy he loved most in the world. It was a reaction to the wanting and needing he had had for Eddie for so long. His lips slid across his best friends and it was like breathing for the first time in forever.

When he came to what he was doing, he quickly pulled away. Eddie’s mouth was still hanging open, a bit red from Buck’s kisses, and his eyes were wide with shock.

Neither spoke for what felt like a very long time.

Buck had to break the silence, he was the one who made the move, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He looked down to his feet from the silence, feeling so uncomfortable he wanted to cry. What in the hell had he just done? He was going to lose Eddie...and Christopher. Tears started forming in his eyes; he was helpless to stop them.

That was when he felt a soft touch on his chin, as Eddie lifted his head up gently to meet his gaze, “I’m not sorry. I’m glad you did.”

Buck looked at Eddie and blinked several times, tears falling down his face. Eddie wiped them away off of his cheeks with his thumbs as he held Buck’s face.

“You are?”

Eddie nodded, his face full of emotion, “Yes, I am. You did what I didn’t have the guts to do.”

Buck trembled, not for the first time, “Do you… um, you wanted to kiss me?” He was fumbling his words like an idiot, but he didn’t care. He felt as if this had been a dream, one he would wake up from at any moment.

“For a very long time,” Eddie responded truthfully, his eyes never leaving Buck’s face. It felt as if Eddie were seeing him for the first time. “I didn’t realize you might feel the same way.”

“I do…I always have, for as long as I can remember.” As the words finally left Buck’s mouth, he felt as though a heavyweight had been lifted off of his chest.

“You...you never said anything,” Eddie swallowed breathing heavily as if he had run around the block.

“I was scared,” Buck said. If he was going to start being honest, then he was just going to let it all out. Better now than later. He didn’t want to sit with his regrets of what might’ve been. “I didn’t want to lose my best friend.”

Eddie quickly shook his head, “You could never lose me.”

Inhaling deeply, Buck grabbed on tightly to his best friend’s shoulders. “Really?”

Smiling, Eddie put his own hands onto Buck’s waist and held on just as tightly, the feeling of it making Buck spiral in happiness, “Truly.” His smile suddenly disappeared, and Buck was scared he was waking up from the best dream he had ever experienced. “I’m sorry I never said anything either. I wasn’t going to act on my feelings for you. I guess…I was scared I was going to lose you, too. You are the greatest thing to have come into my life.” He paused and looked behind him at Christopher who was smiling in his sleep, “Well, the second-best thing.”

“Amen to that,” Buck replied with a smile as he looked at his little buddy.

“I mean it though,” Eddie said, looking back Buck’s way, “You have added so much to both of our lives. He really loves you.”

Buck nodded with a grin, “And I love him.” Then he looked deep into Eddie’s beautiful eyes and confessed everything, “I love you, too.”

“As... in love? Or just love in the general sense?” It was beyond cute to see his strong Eddie look flustered in this way. “Okay, that sounded like we are in fourth grade or something. Do you like, like me?”

They both laughed and kept hold of each other.

But then it grew serious at what the origin of the original question asked. Buck moved his hand and gently caressed Eddie’s soft skin of his cheek, “I’m in love with you, Eddie Diaz. I always have been and I always will be.”

Eddie closed his eyes briefly and shuddered a breath out. Slowly, he opened his eyes, “I’m in love with you, too, Evan Buckley.”

Staring at each other, and both trembling in anticipation, they moved towards each other. Slower this time around. When their lips brushed together it was a promise of something more. It was unique and different, but so special.

Their kiss grew deeper as the minutes went on, and Buck opened his mouth as Eddie’s tongue caressed his. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped. His hands traveled from Eddie’s face to his hair, and his fingers massaged and grabbed on. Now it was Eddie’s turn to moan as he kissed him in a frenzy.

Buck moved his hands and pulled Eddie even closer by his waist as their jeans rubbed together. The desire was unreal and Buck had never felt this type of hunger before.

However, he opened his eyes for a second and saw Christopher still on the couch. He pulled back and Eddie gave him a quizzical expression. Then he saw where Buck was looking and turned to look at his son. “He’s fine. He’s probably dreaming of superheroes.”

They both took a minute to catch their breath, never letting go of each other. Eddie looked back into Buck’s eyes and gave him the most beautiful smile nodding towards him with a look of wonder, “I guess not all superheroes need a cape after all.”

“Oh,” Buck teased as he kissed Eddie on the cheek softly, “I have one… you just can’t see it.”

“Maybe I’ll just have to look a bit harder then,” Eddie murmured seductively eyeing Buck’s bed up above. Desire coursed through Buck’s veins. He had never wanted anything more. He knew he needed to probably wait, take things a bit slower...but he felt as though he had waited a lifetime for this already.

He looked at Eddie as if to ask if he was thinking in the same way, but Eddie replied by grabbing his hand, clearly leading the way to what they both needed and wanted.

As they slowly made their way upstairs to the loft to continue what they had started, they heard, “What happened to Iron Man?”

They paused at the stairs to find Christopher rubbing his eyes sleepily. Eddie looked at Buck who smiled sheepishly and shrugged. They were not going to leave their little superhero hanging.

Buck and Eddie made their way back to the couch, sitting on both sides of Chris, and turned the movie back on even though it was way past the little boy’s bedtime. Christopher moved up close to Buck and put his head against his chest as he watched, yawning wide.

Buck smiled at the love he felt at that moment. He squeezed his little buddy tightly, who looked up at him with a big toothy grin. Then continued watching the movie. Buck then looked over to see Eddie looking back at the two of them; his eyes shining with the same expression he knew he was wearing. Love.

Their hands found each other on the back of the couch, and their fingers intertwined. What started out as an ordinary Thursday night, was no longer just an ordinary night at all. It was the beginning of a new life for him, for the three of them.

Buck couldn’t help feeling like the luckiest human on earth.

[ravenforce]

In Another Life

Prompt: "Hi again! I always look forward to reading all your work, would you be interested in doing a cross-over?? One where the reader is dating Carol at the beginning but then they break up (you can decide the reason why) and the reader moves to National City where she meets Lena. Then the reader falls in love with Lena and they begin dating. After a while, Carol returns and tries to win the reader back. You can decide how it ends - reader ends up with Carol or Lena or they start a poly-relationship??”

Requested by: @lmaodrag1037​

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader, Lena Luthor x Reader

Word Count: 6103

Warning/s: DC X MARVEL Crossover. Angsty with a happy ending (depending on who you ship R with.)

A/N: This prompt sat on my pending list forever. I’m so sorry it took so long but here it is. I hope you guys like it. I’m sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes that still escaped me. And lemme know what you guys think! Stay bright, my darlings. xx

***

You didn’t know what went wrong. You were okay. You were more than okay, together; even though she’s away in space most of the time. You manage, you make it work. Then just after putting the world back together, your world started caving in. This is supposed to be a happy moment! You just defeated a titan and revived the dusted half of the population. So you’re confused as to why Carol is mad at you again. 

“Y/N are you listening?” Carol snapped her fingers at you. 

“I’m sorry, I was elsewhere.”

“Clearly,” she said annoyed.

You haven’t seen your girlfriend for three months since she volunteered to go with Gamora on a short mission off-world. You realized it's happening a lot recently. Every time she’s on Earth, she’s always rather pissy with you.

You sighed heavily. “What’s happening, Carol?” you asked, exhausted from all the day's work of being an Avenger and also an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. All you wanted was to come home and maybe cuddle with your girlfriend or your best friends Nat and Maria (since Carol’s always, well absent).

Carol spun around to look at you. There’s some anger reflecting on her beautiful hazel orbs. “What’s happening is, I’m breaking up with you,” Carol says plainly like she’s not breaking your heart. 

“Excuse me?” you blinked at her twice.

“I didn’t think you had it in you,” she said gritting your teeth. 

“What are you talking about?” you asked confused as hell what she’s on to. 

“You and Maria sleeping together!” Carol said angrily. 

You wanted to chuckle but one look at her face and you know she wasn’t joking. You looked at her defiantly. “Did you snort some space drugs or something?”

“Agent Johnson said,” Carol tried to say but you cut her off. 

“Agent Johnson?!” you asked incredulously. “You believe her word more than mine?” Your voice shaking, and it wasn’t from the pain you’re feeling inside. 

“She saw Maria come out of your room in the wee hours of the morning!” Carol tried to defend her accusation. 

You thought back of the last time, Maria slept over in your room. It was a few weeks ago. You were training the new recruits, you were sore and awfully lonely. You’ve been missing Carol a lot. So you settled for a movie night with the girls but Nat’s on a mission, Pepper’s with Tony and Morgan in the lakehouse, and Wanda’s out on a date night with Vis. You were close to crying when Maria knocked on your door.

”I take it’s just us tonight?” she asked after you nearly dragged her inside your room. 

“Yes. Nat’s still on a mission. If she wasn’t she’ll be here,” you said while popping the wine open. Maria flops down beside you on your extra expensive couch care of one Tony Stark.

“Of course she will, I won’t let her miss it,” Maria said before reaching for the remote and flipping through your watchlist on Netflix. You ended up doing a marathon of How I met your mother, again. Both of you falling asleep after a season or two. You felt Maria hopelessly try not to make too much fuss getting out of your extra soft sheets. 

“Doing the walk of shame?” you mumbled your futile attempt at a joke, before burrowing deeper into your warm sheets. Maria chuckled. 

“Yeah, Nat’s home,” Maria said before kissing the top of your head and jumping off the bed. 

You just hummed and chuckled then went back to sleep. 

You shook your head to clear away the memory and look at your girlfriend. 

Ex-girlfriend, rather. She broke up with you a minute ago, you had to remind yourself. 

“I gave you my word, Car. No matter where you go, no matter how long it takes, you’ll always have me, didn’t I?” you finally let the tears roll. You have minor injuries from today’s mission; you’re exhausted, and now also heartbroken. 

“You know what my father did, I told you the story,” you tried to continue but you’re full-on crying now. Carol knows the story of how your father cheated on your mother multiple times, and how it ruined you and your family. Carol knows, Carol remembers you promised you’d never do that to her no matter how long she’s gone. 

Carol wanted to reach out. A part of her head is screaming abort! Abort! Abort! But instead, she frowned deeper and crossed her arms. She couldn’t ignore what she heard.  

“I gave you my word, yet here you are accusing me of being the very thing I loathe,” you said looking up at her, tears already drying on your cheeks. “You’re throwing away everything we had for five years, to take the word of a girl you know for months. I hope it’s worth it.”

You wiped your face using the ends of your sleeves. Before Carol can say anything else, you opened a portal behind you and disappear through it.

***

Opening portals through space and time is your power as a mutant experiment. Opening portals are very serious business, it requires intent and total concentration to land where you wanted to be precisely. It can be dangerous, potentially disastrous to open portals when you’re unfocused. You certainly didn’t want to suddenly open one 35,000 feet above the ground, and free fall from the sky without a parachute ever again. So, you’re extremely grateful that you’re standing on concrete after leaving Carol behind. 

“Who the hell are you?” you heard someone ask behind you. 

When you turned around you saw a beautiful woman with the greenest eyes you ever laid eyes on. You held your hand up to show her you mean no harm. 

“Who sent you? Who do you work for? Are you working for Agent Liberty?” the pretty lady asked; face completely neutral but voice slightly shaking. 

“No one sent me. I don’t know who Agent Liberty is,” you tried to explain. You wanted to introduce yourself and explain further but suddenly your vision blurred and your knees gave out. 

***

Lena gasped when your body hits the ground. She didn’t know what to do, she didn’t know who you are or where you came from exactly. All she knows was you walked through a portal. She walked closer to you and inspected your body. You’re wearing some sort of latex suit, a little like Alex’s D.E.O uniform but with a different logo on it.

“Alex,” she whispered before pulling out her phone and calling the older Danvers’ sister.

Lena didn’t want to explain on the phone. Alex sent Supergirl ahead to check if you were a threat but when Supergirl arrived she had to hold back the urge to take a photo of Lena; sitting on the concrete floor of her rooftop in her expensive suit and cradling your head on her lap.

“Lena,” Supergirl said to catch her best friends attention. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you?”

“No. She didn’t hurt me. She passed out before she can tell me anything though. Help me bring her to the lab,” Lena said without taking her eyes off your face. Kara had to bite her lip to keep herself from actually squealing.

“Alex said we should take her to the D.E.O. If she needs medical attention, Alex can take care of her.”

Lena knew it was the best thing to do. So she nodded for Kara to take you.

“I’ll be right behind you,” Lena said before Kara flew away with you.

***

When Kara arrived at the DEO, Alex was already ready to receive you with her medical team.

“What do we have, Supergirl?” Alex asked while she fusses over you on the gurney.

“Lena said all she knew was she came through a portal,” Supergirl answered while keeping at pace with her sister.

“Portal? Like Cisco’s portal?” Alex asked while checking your vitals.

Supergirl made a quick sweep of your person to check on anything that could trigger a portal, like the watch Barry gave her but there was nothing on you except your skin-tight suit. Alex noted the black insignia that’s blending in your suit.

"Querl,” Alex called as he passed by.

Querl walked towards the sisters. “You need me?”

“Scan our database for this insignia. We need to know who she is, and where she came from.”

“I will do that,” Querl affirmed before leaving the medical ward. As he exits, Lena came in the room.

“How is she?”

Alex quirked an eyebrow at her sister. Supergirl just smiled and shrugged.

“She’s gonna be fine, Lee. She’s fatigued and extremely dehydrated,” Alex assured their friend.

***

You blinked once, twice before the room came in focus. You’re in a medical bay but it’s certainly not a hospital. It’s very reminiscent of the one at S.H.I.E.L.D actually.

“Oh, hey! You’re awake! I’m Supergirl btw,” a blonde woman with blue eyes in a red and blue suit introduced herself. She reminds you of Carol because of their suits color scheme similarities. You tried not to flinch at the memory of her. Kara noted the sudden sad look on your face.

“Where am I?” you asked before a redhead in a black tactical suit came in. She smiled at you briefly before standing against Supergirl. Together they look like a powerful duo, like Nat and Carol, actually.

“You’re in the D.E.O, Department of Extranormal Operation. I’m Alex Danvers, I’m the Director.”

“Aren’t you a little too young to be a Director?” you asked feeling a little silly. It must be the medically-induced drugs. Alex couldn’t help but smile.

“Maybe,” Alex answered.

“I’m Y/N. I’m an Avenger, and S.H.I.E.L.D agent,” you said full-on beaming before lying on your back and passing out again.

***

When Kara and Alex arrived at the conference room, Lena was already there and talking with Querl. 

“Any updates, Querl?” Alex asked as she looks through the monitors. 

“There is no Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D anywhere in our databases. I run facial recognition as well but nothing came up either,” Querl explained, clearly frustrated by the situation at hand. 

“I called Barry but they said they got nothing,” Kara piped in, their backs turned towards the door. 

“Who’s Barry?” you asked so suddenly that everyone nearly jumped out of their skin. Including Supergirl. They turned towards you wide-eyed. No one gets to sneak behind these team. 

“How did you?” the blonde stammered.

“Oh! Hi again! I woke up alone in my room, and I thought it was rude of me to pass out mid-conversation. So I thought of the Director, and opened a portal to her,” you explained while glancing at Alex. 

“Told you she’s can open portals,” Lena murmured low enough but she still caught your attention. 

“Hi! I’m Y/N. You’re the lady from the rooftop.”

“I’m Lena. Lena Luthor,” she said cautiously.

You beamed at her. “Sorry for passing out on you too. It happens sometimes, when I open a portal too far from my starting point,” you explained. 

A man name Querl asked how you’re portal jumping without any tech with you, which prompted you to tell them about being a product of mutant experimentation. It was kind of weird that they don’t know what that is or what mutants are. So, you ended up explaining that too. 

***

It took several hours of storytelling, interrogation, and an alien mind reader before everyone decided you’re not an actual threat. Another hour before you decided that you can trust them. Another hour to set up a fake identity for you, and at the moment, Kara, Alex, and Lena are arguing where you would be staying.

You cleared your throat. “If it’s all the same to you ladies, I’ll stay with Querl.”

Querl just grinned smugly at them. “Brainy? Why?” Alex asked, angst by your choice.

“He offered. I agreed,” you answered simply. Thankfully, Nia didn’t find anything wrong with that. 

Lena laughed before walking up next to you. “I’m sorry, we should have asked.”

You beamed at her. “You should have. I would have gone with you,” you said cheekily before following Querl and Jonn out of the conference room. Had you not walked away, you would have seen the blush that crept up on Lena’s face and the teasing she had to endure from both Kara and Alex. 

“Someone has a crush,” Kara sing-song. 

“Oh, shush! I do not,” Lena tried to lie but Alex and Kara knew better.

You know you just got out of a relationship but you’re currently stuck in another universe, might as well make use of your fresh start. You need to heal before anything else. 

***

The decision to live with Querl was tactical on your part. You’re not trying to leave immediately but you still need to find a way back to your universe. Maria and Natasha will give you hell for leaving without telling anyone. Even though you didn’t exactly plan on being stuck on a parallel universe at all. Your heart ached thinking about home, thinking about your friends, thinking about her.

Your heart ached as you lie on Querl’s guest room, thinking about all the times Carol came home to you after a mission. How the strongest Avenger likes to cuddle like a baby when she’s bone-tired. Your heart aches remembering the sound of her laugh and how it used to give you so much joy watching her goof around with Thor and Peter. Your heart ached reminiscing the way her arms made you feel safe, her lips made you feel at home. Your heart broke a little more remembering the last time she told you she loved you. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Querl asked from the threshold of your room. 

“I’m just wondering if there is a universe where she and I ended up happy together?” 

In the course of your interrogation, the D.E.O along with James and Lena asked thoroughly about your life and the event before you landed on their Earth. You didn’t have a choice but to tell the truth, even if it’s still a little raw for you. Querl know who you’re talking about, and he wisely didn’t spout a formula that calculates the number of universes in which you and Carol are happy together. He just wished you a good night. 

***

You’re not quite sure how time flows between parallel universes but you’ve been on Earth-34 for three months now. Figuring a way back home has been fruitless, to say the least, and it has been taking a back seat since you finished D.E.O training and started a more active role in the organization. Alex assigned you as a D.E.O liaison officer at L-Corp, which you didn’t have a problem with. In the three months, you’ve been on their earth, and after being inducted as an official member of the Superfriends, Lena is secretly your favorite. 

It’s a harmless schoolgirl crush, you didn’t pay any mind. Lena is an amazing human being, a lot of people admire her. She’s intelligent, sassy, and quite literally, breathtaking. It’s not like you stand a chance to date someone as amazing as her if you’re ever stupid enough to ask her out. Which you aren’t, so you’re sticking with friendship. Friends are good; friends rarely break each other’s heart.

So you’re bewildered as to why Lena’s hellbent on arguing with Alex at game night nonetheless about why she didn’t need you as her additional security.

“Alex, L-Corp has the most advanced security since our latest upgrades last month,” Lena says as quiet as she could inside Alex’s open kitchen. 

“We know but having Y/N on the ground with you at all times makes me feel more at ease. She has powers, and her fighting technique is unprecedented,” Alex tried to argue. 

“I’m not a child, Alex.”

”I didn’t say that you are, Lena.”

“Agent Dallas,” you suddenly spoke from where you’re sitting on the floor. Alex and Lena turned to look at your back as you continue to play monopoly with Kara. 

“What about Agent Dallas, Y/N?” Alex asked before taking a sip of her beer. 

“Agent Dallas has superb fighting abilities. Not to mention she’s an excellent markswoman too.”

Lena and Alex scrunch their eyebrows together, trying to figure where you’re going with this. Kara nodded towards their direction that caused you to look at the two over your shoulder. “You can assign Agent Dallas as Lena’s security detail if she didn’t want me,” you said simply before rolling the dice.

Lena looks angst at the suggestion. 

“Oh no, she thinks you didn’t want her,” Alex whispers in Lena’s ear teasingly before walking towards you and the others. 

***

Lena was awfully silent through game night. She participated, of course, but there’s a pensive look on her face all night. When it was time to go, you tried to insist that you’ll walk to your new apartment but Lena shoot it down with one look.

It’s fascinating how one person can remind you so much of your family. With one look, Lena can shut you up and shut down any of your crazy ideas just like Natasha. Her intelligence and love for all science and technology can rival Tony’s. Her superb leadership skill can match Steve’s. Her loyalty is like Maria’s, and her caring nature’s just like Wanda’s. You can’t help but smile to yourself as you watch National City in the comfort of her Porsche.

“Thanks for driving me, Lee. Goodnight,” you said when you felt the car come to a stop.

Before you can exit the vehicle, Lena reached out and caught you by the sleeve of your white polo.

“Y/N,” she said softly. You turned to look at her bewildered. “What’s wrong?”

She licked her lower lip, and no one could fault you when you got entranced by the movement. “The reason why I didn’t want you to work at L-Corp was…” she paused.

You quirked your eyebrow to prompt her to keep going. “…was because I think it’ll be inappropriate to ask you out when you do,” she rushed out in one breath. You blinked once to clear away the fog that suddenly hangs in your head. One more to let what Lena sink in.

“Well. Technically, you’re not my boss; Alex is,” you said slowly and seriously before breaking out into a smile.

“Y/N!,” Lena whined before crumpling the sleeve of your polo. You couldn’t help but laugh. You leaned against the center console of her car and gave her a quick kiss on the cheeks before exiting the car. Leaving a blushing happy Lena Luthor.  

***

You give it to Lena to know how to make a girl feel special. On your first date, she arrived at your apartment promptly, and with your favorite bouquet of flowers at that. She then took you to the most expensive and exclusive restaurant in National City, where you had a five-course meal and talked the night away. Lena drove you home way past midnight but didn’t stay the night. Plans for the second date was made the next business day.

Your second date didn’t happen until after another month because Lena got busy and you got busy making sure she’s safe always. On your second date, you took Lena out to ride your new Ducati motorcycle to a rustic restaurant outside the city limits. The place was warm, inviting, and private even for a Friday night. Lena absolutely loved it that you ended up staying in a cheap nearby hotel because you both were too sleepy to drive back. Lena argued that she can call her driver and pick them you up but she relented when you question her sense of adventure.

That night the only available room in the hotel only had one double bed.

“I can take the couch,” you said as you both stare at your current predicament.

She walked to the bed and sat down in front of you. “Y/N, we’re dating. We can share a bed.”

You tried not to blush but Lena’s just too beautiful that you couldn’t help but kiss her.

“What was that for?” she asked breathlessly.

“Nothing. I’m just really happy I’m here with you.”

It took a while to get where you are but you’re better now. You still miss Carol, a part of you will always be Carol’s but you’re happier now. Lena makes you so happy.

***

Dating Lena is possibly one of the most beautiful experience you had in your life. And you’ve had so many in this lifetime. You survived being tortured and experimented on. You defeated a titan, twice! Heck, you even managed to go out in space. You thought you’d lost your home when Carol broke up with you. You thought Earth-34 was just another adventure but it turns out it has become home too and without fully realizing it, a year has officially passed since you arrived on their universe.

You were supposed to be celebrating your “Earth-34 birthday” as Alex and Kara call it but an emergency occurred. A group of possibly hostile vigilante’s are spotted downtown. Kara and Jonn flew at the scene first. Querl and Nia drove there next. Alex went directly to the D.E.O, while you drove Lena first to her penthouse where another agent was to take over your place for the time being. 

When you arrived downtown, you were floored to see Carol sizing up Kara while the rest of the Avengers are aiming their weapons at Jonn, Querl, Nia and a few D.E.O. agents. You would have laughed at the hilarity of how the two blonds look almost identical but the scowl on everyone’s faces stopped you. Instead, you yelled at the top of your lungs, 

“Stand down!”

Your family immediately turned towards your voice. You walked towards the center and in front of Natasha. She holstered her gun, when she turned towards you, you expected her to pull you in a hug but instead, she threw a punch at your face. You stammered a step backward, you held your hand up to signal everyone to stand down. Your lips are bleeding, and before Kara can fuss about it; Nat pulled you in a tight hug. 

“I miss you so much, idiot,” she murmured against your hair. You wrapped your arms around her sturdy frame. Maria joined the group hug immediately. 

“You know these people?” Guardian asked. You can hear Tony mocking his suit from Nat’s comms. You had to reign in the chuckle. 

“They’re the Avengers,” you answered before leaning your forehead against Maria’s.

“We,” someone said behind you. You didn’t need to turn to know who it is. You know that voice in any universe. “You’re still a part of our team,” Carol continued. 

***

“You didn’t tell me Carol and I’s suit are almost identical,” Kara whispered as you walk side-by-side at the D.E.O.

“I’m surprised she even told you about us,” Nat quipped, clearly overhearing Kara as she and Maria walk behind you. You turned on your heels to look at Natasha. She might be joking but you know the hurt was real.

“Tasha,” you said. She smiled at you; she’s gonna be pissed again when she found out the truth.

“She couldn’t stop talking about you actually,” Kara supplied excitedly as the three of you entered the training room, which is the only room big enough to house the lot of you.

“Are we still waiting for someone?” Tony asked on his typical bored CEO demeanor.

You couldn’t help but smile because god you miss him. Lena’s gonna freak when she finds out he’s here, and they can finally meet. Speak of the goddess herself, Lena burst through the door of the training room in her signature CEO entrance. Carol, Maria, and Natasha noted the way all your focus going in on the newcomer. Carol frowned deeper.

“Y/N?” Lena asked for you immediately.

“I’m here,” you said unable to untangle yourself from Maria’s embrace. Maria narrowed her eyes at Lena. Lena frowned as she watches Maria’s slender figure, hugging you from behind. You pleaded for Lena to remember all your stories.

“Who are you?” Carol suddenly asks. Steve bristled at her tone.

You watched Lena take in Carol before standing ramrod straight (not that she’s one to slouch). “Lena Luthor, CEO of L-Corp. Y/N’s girlfriend, who are you?”

Tony snorted. Maria and Nat tried to snicker quietly but failed miserably. “Carol Danvers. Captain Marvel,” Carol introduced herself. And then a thick, awkward silence descended upon the room.

“Okay, ladies. Play nice,” Alex asserted her power. “I’m assuming you came here for Y/N?”

Steve affirmed after introducing himself and the whole team.

***

Everyone turned to look at you. Maria noted your stiff posture in your arms. She knows you too much to know your decision even before you can make one. She smiled sadly at you. You need to come clean now.

“I can’t..” you stammered out. Everyone waited for you to continue. “I can’t go back, Steve.”

Tony didn’t speak, he just watched you. Before anyone else can say anything, Carol spoke. “Tony worked on the simulation and technology in half a year to get to you.”

You have no doubt he did. Your heart hammered in your chest. Kara looked at you sympathetically, clearly picking up on your heartbeat. “I spent the last half, jumping from one earth to another to find you.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” you nearly yelled. And there it is, the anger that you felt when Carol accused you of cheating on her suddenly bubbled up inside you. “Heaven knows I appreciate you all coming here but no one asked you to find me because I found my way back.”

You can hear a pin drop at the silence that followed. Everyone waited with bated breath for you to continued. You saw the realization dawn on Tony’s face faster than everyone else.

“I figured a way back to our universe on the sixth-month mark of my landing here,” you said slowly.

***

Everyone gasped, except Querl. Carol motioned for you to step outside the balcony. You followed her without question, you owe her at least that. Carol didn’t speak for a minute, and you just watched her regulate her breathing.

“Did you hate me that much?” Carol asked. Eyes closed, face turned towards the sun.

“I never hated you, Car,” you said as you watch the side of her face. “I was mad when you accused me of cheating on you. I was heartbroken when you took Daisy’s word over mine but I never hated you. I love you far too much for that.”

Carol noted the use of present tense and you know her well enough that she caught it. You tried to smile at her. “I will always love you, Carol but I’m in love with Lena,” you said softly. There’s no use beating around the bush.

You watched every emotion that passes through her face as she processes that she’s going home without you. Regret, jealousy, sadness, surrender.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I was stupid,” she said with tears running down her face that you immediately pulled her into a hug. You’re both aware that you’re still in full view of both your teams but at that moment you didn’t care. “I love you,” Carol sobbed against your hair. You rubbed soothing circles against her back.

“I know. I love you too,” you said tearing up too. “Maybe in another life, we can try again.”

***

All goodbyes are bittersweet, only you know this isn’t one. There’s no way, Nat and Maria won’t be portal jumping to you whenever they can, now that they have a way to you and vice versa.

Steve came up to you first. “I’m really proud of what you achieved here. You know S.H.I.E.L.D is always open for you,” he said before pulling you in a brotherly hug, which you gratefully returned.

Tony came up next. “Stark Expo is opening again soon. Come home and bring your girlfriend, she’s a delight,” he said before ruffling your hair like the annoying brother that he is.

Maria and Nat came up together. Maria pulled you in against her in a back hug; which you thought might be Maria’s favorite position to hug because she’s taller than you and Nat. Nat stood in front of you, reaching out to touch your cheeks.

“Kara gave us this,” Nat said showing what seems to be a normal phone. “She said we can use it to communicate seamlessly. So call us, anytime for anything, like always and we will be there.”

“I will,” you promised before leaning towards Nat’s hand.

“And please, visit often. We miss you terribly. Friday’s still movie night when we’re not out on a mission; do come and bring your superfriends. Alex said, you have game nights on this universe, maybe we can all hang out sometime,” Maria said hopefully.

You smiled before turning your head and kissing Maria’s cheeks. “It’s a date,” you said before you turned back towards Nat and saw Carol walking towards Lena.

***

“Hey,” Carol said a little self-consciously to catch Lena’s attention who’s talking to Alex.

Alex smiled encouragingly before excusing herself. “Hello, Carol,” Lena answered. Less hostile but still very much guarded.

“I was rude awhile ago, I’m sorry.”

“You are but nothing I’m not used to. I deal with it every day with my investors trying to always undermine me,” Lena answered matter-of-factly.

Carol rubbed the back of her neck. “I know Y/N is strong and can take care of herself but please, take care of her,” Carol pleaded.

Lena smiled, before extending her hand. “She is and she does but rest assured, I will see to it that she’s well-taken cared of; I promise.” Carol sighed before smiling up at Lena and shaking her hand. This isn’t the result Carol wanted but she doesn’t have the heart to stand in the way of your happiness.

***

Tony opened the portal when everyone bid their farewells, and one by one the Avengers walked through and back to their universe. Before it closes though, Nat turned back to you.

“Hey, by the way, you need to come home on December,” she said vaguely. You quirked your eyebrows at her.

“December 4th to be precise,” Maria piped in.

“Why?”

Nat laughed before taking Maria’s hand and showing you a diamond ring around it. “We’re getting married, idiot.” You look dumbfounded for a second.

Maria looked past you. “You’re all invited, I’m sure HQ can accommodate. Promise you’ll come.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you said after you recovered from your initial shock. Maria and Nat waved at you before the portal closed.

***

Alex and Kara stood by your side for a minute or two to offer their silent support before walking away and back to the command center. You stared at the wall where your family walked through for another minute before you heard the telltale sounds of heels behind you.

“Why didn’t you tell me you found a way home?” Lena asked quietly.

You turned to look at her. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t think it matters. I wasn’t gonna go back,” you answered; worried that she’s pissed at you.

“When did you know you’re not gonna go back?”

“The morning after our second date.”

Lena raised her eyebrow at that. “When we woke up at a dingy hotel?” she asked surprised.

You tried to stop it but when the memory surfaced, you couldn’t help but break into a goofy smile. “Yeah,” you said dreamily.

“Why then?”

You blinked the lovestruck look in your face and focused back on Lena. You grinned at her. “Oh,” you paused for dramatic effect.

“Well, you smelled divine while drooling all over my arm,” you said cheekily while closing the gap between you two.

Lena gasped. “How dare you accuse me of being unladylike?” she asked in mock offense but you can clearly hear the playful tone in her voice.

You laughed before pulling her hips flush against yours. “Life’s all about choices, and on the cusp of knowing how to leave or staying, I choose you.”

Lena shakes her head affectionately before pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

[captainchrisfics]

Slipped

About: On a press run for Defending Jacob, Chris’s mind drifts to every other thing he’d rather be doing than answering questions, causing him to subconsciously reveal his relationship status which sparks a slew of probing questions and potential problems for the newly public couple

Word Count: 3,153

Requested By: Anon. Thanks for the submission! I’m always happy to accept inspiration, especially when it’s a concept I get excited over before I even start the story. Hope it’s everything you thought it’d crack up to be :)

It’d be an understatement to say Chris was tired of doing press for Defending Jacob. Usually, he didn’t mind the tours too much anymore. Sure, it was his least favorite part of the job, but a few years working for Marvel and he’s learned how to cope with it. That being said, it’s gotten harder knowing he’s got someone waiting for him at home. 

The uncomfortable director’s chair he’d been stuck in for hours while interviewers cycled in and out had him longing for the time he’d get to spend tucked underneath the covers, curled up next to you on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in his lap and Dodger at your feet. As per usual, you’d take handfuls if his snack after asking for a piece or two when he’d offered to get you your own in the first place. You’d say it tasted better when it was his and he’d roll his eyes but laugh from his belly anyway. Eventually, you’d get up and return with a bottle of wine that somehow paired perfectly with Doritos and left you two feeling warm inside and out. You’d fill up on so much junk food that dinner would slip your minds so you’d just keep watching some Netflix shows you’d already seen while Chris was away until it got dark enough that you’d beg him to come to bed. He’d just hold you closer to his chest and ask for five more minutes, relishing in your combined warmth and the comfort of how the couch cushions molded themselves to your bodies already, until you both fell asleep there instead without realizing until the early morning. He’d be woken up by you stirring, climbing off of his chest to slink back to bed with a pillow instead of his pec and his ribs would feel empty without your weight so he’d follow you.

Neither of you would fall back asleep though. Instead, Chris would brush your hair out of your face and tell you about how he was thinking of making pancakes for breakfast even though it’d only be three or four in the morning and really the only thing on his mind would be that you had the loveliest eyes. You’d say you’d rather have waffles just to put up a fight about something since the peace of laying in his arms was too good on its own, but given time, you’d doze off and wake up to ready blueberry pancakes since he knows you’d prefer them anyway. Then he’d peck your purple-stained lips until you kissed him so hard the color transferred like lipstick. 

Yeah, that sounded a hell of a lot better than answering nearly identical questions so many times in a row he’d lost count. Chris greeted the new interviewer with a tight-lipped smile and a firm handshake. “Before we start, I just want to say I love your work,” she said with a polite smile. Chris brushed the compliment off with a wave of his hand as he thanked her, but he wasn’t too fond of pleasantries at the moment. He didn’t want to be rude, but they were time-takers as far as he was concerned.

She launched into the usual questions. How this role was different for him, any funny memories from the set, what he thought about the story. Nothing he hadn’t already gone over and, frankly, he’d already lost his enthusiasm for being interrogated. Soon they both grew rather bored as his answers ran dry and her questions became weak and they were both just killing time, probably so they could sell more advertising space on the video. 

“So starring in an Apple TV series has got to be a lot different than waiting maybe years for fans to see the next installment of a movie series,” she said, sitting back comfortably as she referenced his old role as Captain America without saying it. That’s all anyone ever wanted to talk about. “Are you looking forward to a different kind of response with that in mind?”

“Yeah,” Chris paused to clear his throat, shaking his head a little to try to rid his head of the curve of your lips. “I am. I mean, I love a good night in binging something so I hope the audience will enjoy that as well.” His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think a little deeper, maybe find something tucked in the corner of his mind he hadn’t said yet, but he came back empty-handed. Chris shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he tugged at his blue t-shirt, itching to be anywhere but there. 

“Oh, yeah?” she inquired, trying to keep the conversation casual. Don’t get him wrong, Chris thought she was friendly enough, but the thing was that nothing about these things ever are. It was all so contrived and uncomfortable, saying things preprinted on a cue card, but they always tried to pass it off as an easygoing conversation between people who actually knew more about each other than just their first names. In fact, Chris hadn’t even caught that. “I’m sure everyone would love to know, what’ve you been watching lately?” She ruffled a hand through her hair as her eyes drifted away, clearly losing interest in the conversation as well. 

He contemplated the question for a moment, scratching his beard as he answered with a shrug, “Stranger Things mostly. The acting is phenomenal, especially those kids.” The woman across from him started picking at her nails as she hummed in acknowledgment. “I like that, too. Thoughts on the third season?”

Chris’s eyes grew wide and a sudden burst of energy jolted through his posture as he shushed her. “I’m still catching up so, please, no spoilers. My girlfriend is bad enough,” he laughed at his own half-joke. Chris thought of how you couldn’t even get through an episode without squeezing his hand too hard when something gory was about to happen or gasping with the shock of realization a second before the twist actually transpired. The suspense was always ruined for him, but the way you balled his shirt in your fist while letting out a cute little squeak and turning into the crook of his neck, where you fit so perfectly, made it easy not to mind. 

Chris didn’t need much of an excuse to wrap a strong arm around your shoulders and pull you into his lap, relishing in being your comfort blanket. He’d hum as he rubbed your back so gently it sent more goosebumps up your spine than the scary scene. Even if it wasn’t so bad and long after it was over if it was, you’d stay curled up in the pit between his crossed legs, pressing your front to his until you were convinced Chris could never be unstuck from you. He was always so warm and he smelled more like home than your apartment did while he was away. He could tell by the way your body relaxed as his hands roamed over every muscle taught with anxiety when you were finally at peace again, eliciting a self-satisfied smirk that was probably plastered on his face right now just thinking about it. 

“I’m sorry,” the reporter bolted up straight in her chair, leaning forward as she caught the bit of new goss like a gold nugget finally discovered stuck in silt. “Your what now?” She tucked her tight curls behind her ears, making sure she heard him correctly this time around, although Chris was sure the camera caught his slip of the tongue the first time around. 

Chris’s eyes dropped to the floor as he scratched his upper lip with his thumb in an attempt to suppress his shit-eating grin. He’d managed to keep the secret for nearly a year now. So many exits through back doors of restaurants or clubs to avoid paparazzi, countless sunglasses collected to make sure you both had somewhat of a disguise on you at all time, seemingly endless trips traveled apart as to not raise suspicion about the girl with a jacket over her head at his side. All to keep a little piece of paradise to himself without the prying fingers of rumor-happy gossip reporters typing clickbait to churn out articles and the harsh spotlight of a gaze the judgmental, beady public eye had to offer. All to save you from getting burned in the limelight that accompanied his career, a life he didn’t want to subject you to since you never asked to be the topic of global outcry over taking a famous bachelor off the market. All for Chris to blow it in the last five minutes of what was so close to being any other interview.

“Uh... fuck,” he slipped in under a sigh of defeat. “Yeah,” he stretched to scratch the back of his head, trying to make a smooth recovery in front of the cameras. “My, um, my girlfriend likes that- she’s a big fan of Stranger Things, but, I mean... you know, who isn’t?” Chris laughed in an attempt to pass off the comment as casual instead of life-altering though he wasn’t confident it managed to mask his stutter. Nothing about the pit in his stomach was normal, though. Or the onslaught of questions thrown his way, prolonging the q&a session with a newfound source of torture. Moreover, how he couldn’t stop his mouth from moving, speaking with an eagerness from his heart that didn’t quite connect with his mind. 

Like a bottle that’d been shaken, Chris’s cork finally blew and he just couldn’t shut up about you. She asked what he liked about you. He said it was the way that you could pop his bubble when his head was getting a little too big, keeping him grounded instead of in the clouds with the other L.A. stars. She asked how you two met and he told her he’d been head over heels from the moment you stole his taxi in New York and tried to fight him when he climbed in right behind you anyway. Then she wanted to know what he loved about you and Chris couldn’t stop himself from going on about the way you’re so ordinary in the best way, but still so inherently extraordinary just by your nature, managing to always keep him on his toes as well. She didn’t inquire anything about how Dodger took to you, but Chris told her about how the first time he took you home his dog barreled into you so hard he knocked you over and licked your cheeks maybe even more times than Chris kissed you that night. With raised eyebrows and a poorly suppressed grin, she asked if he thought you were the one. Chris insisted he was sure of it.

At the moment, he was elated to finally have the freedom to talk about the best part of his life so openly, even if it was to a reporter whose point was to exploit whatever he shared. And, boy, was he like a kindergarten kid with a cold. He told her everything short of your social security number and credit card information. It felt like the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders, but the gravity of what he’d done started to make him ache on the car ride home and grew to be all but oppressive by the time he swung open your front door. 

“So,” he started with a long sigh. Chris’s lips sucked into a whistle, like the sound of a bomb about to drop. “I may or may not have accidentally let it slip that I’m in a committed relationship.” He stood in the open doorway, kicking off his shoes in an attempt to pass off an air of nonchalance. 

“Oh, really?” Your eyebrows perched at the top of your forehead as your eyes rose to meet his over the edge of the book you were curled up reading only for a split second. “And who exactly might your secret mistress be?” You turned the page with a smirk, much to Chris’s chagrin.

Yeah, his annoyance surprised him too. Still, his hands fell to his sides as he stared at you with a suspicious incredulousness. “Haha, very funny.” He rolled his eyes as he found it safe enough to close the door behind him without much of a reaction from you. “I thought you’d be more... upset?” He suggested, unsure of why he couldn’t just be grateful she wasn’t screaming over him spoiling their secret love life. But there was a nagging in his stomach that he couldn’t ignore. Why go through all the trouble of seeming single when she evidently didn’t mind being a public couple? After all, he did it for your sake, right?

You caught on to the tinge of disappointment in his tone and dropped your novel on the coffee table, slinking up from the sofa like a stretching cat. Chris stayed planted in the doorway, watching every move of yours intently with a bitten lip and bated breath. After all this time, at least you still managed to surprise him. 

“Don’t be upset that I’m not, darling,” you said despite an inkling that it was about much more. Arms snuck around his waist as Chris’s shoulder sagged even more than they already were, trying to compensate for your height difference as he melted into your touch. 

“I’m proud of you,” you said, crawling behind him and stretching to your tiptoes to rest your head on his shoulder. Your nose brushed his bearded cheek as you whispered, “I’m grateful for you.” You placed a long kiss on his shoulder before moving your lips up his neck and stopping at his cheek, kissing every inch of Chris you could reach. “I’m in love with you.” Still, from behind, you brushed his hair behind his ear, something so intimate he couldn’t help the way it made his heart flutter. “Why wouldn’t I want the world to know it?”

Chris resisted his urge to shrug out of fear that you’d take it to mean he was trying to be dismissive. In all honesty, as much as he liked wrapping his arms around you like a present, being in your embrace instead might just beat it out. “Because... I don’t know. We’ve done so much to keep this between us, maybe we aren’t ready for the whole world to have a say,” Chris craned his neck to peck the top of your head as he places his hands over yours on his stomach, lacing your fingers together. “Sorry I said something about us in the first place. It just kind of... slipped.”

You shook your head as you tried to reassure him. “Chris, baby, you really don’t have to be. I’ve known who you were from the start. I’m the one who spent months convincing you that I’d be alright if news got out before we began dating, right? God, that feels like forever ago,” you paused to sigh, getting lost in a memory of only for a moment.

Chris insisted on exchanging information so you two could share the taxi and send whoever got out last part of the fare since he claimed rides seemed to be in such high demand it’d be near impossible to find another. Honestly, he just wanted to spend more time with you, it’d been so long since someone screamed at Chris Evans the Famous Actor on a street like that you intrigued him. You two ended up hitting it off, each asking the driver to continue to a different address whenever the one previously requested approached until you both decided on a bar. The sheer amount of digits on that bill was something you’d never forget, but you’d managed to snag something even more memorable. 

You and Chris were fast friends and, once you finally mustered the guts to admit that you liked him a little bit more than that, he realized how much couldn’t stand the idea of dragging down a red carpet with him. Not because of you, but because of the way he knew you’d be treated. The unkind comparisons they’d make. The lewd questions they’d ask. The accusations they’d throw your way. But you didn’t care about that. All you paid a mind to was what Chris thought, which you were eventually able to convince him of, and he’d agreed to put his heart before his head under the condition that you’d keep it low profile at the beginning. The first few weeks turned into months which melded into almost a year. It seemed like yesterday and centuries simultaneously. Now seemed as good a time as any to remind Chris of that same sentiment again. 

“Point being, I’m here to stay no matter what the DailyMail has to say about it. You don’t need to worry about them driving me away. You know I don’t scare easily.” You turned Chris in your arms so he was facing you and reached fasten his shirt a button or two, causing him to smile softly as the apples of his cheeks gained a rosy hue. The balmy look of love in his blue eyes didn’t come close to matching your intensity, trying to pour every ounce of sincerity into your expression so Chris would take it to heart. “I think it’s past time we got to walk in the same entrance anyway,” you finished with a crooked smile, causing Chris to chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

Your hands met in the middle, swinging back and forth ever so slightly as Chris watched your interlocked fingers intently. “I guess you’re right. It’ll be nice to do this in public,” he sighed, drawing circles on the backs of your hands with his thumbs. “You know what I really want to do right now though?” Chris inquired, earning a low hum as you pressed an ear to his chest. “All damn day I just wanted to plant our asses on that couch, watch some Stranger Things, and not move until the morning.”

You laughed and said you’d grab his snacks, to which Chris couldn’t help but point out your acknowledgment that they are in fact his. When you returned from the kitchen with a bottle of wine, a bag of popcorn, and all the candy you could find, you plopped down next to your boyfriend and pulled a blanket over your laps. Leaning against his side, you shoved a handful of M&M’s into your mouth while waiting for Netflix to load. 

“I thought you’d be better at keeping secrets given the whole Captain America thing,” you joked, poking his ribs lightly. “You don’t know how many times I wanted to tell my boss to shove off before I made my boyfriend break out his shield, but you just get to spill for funsies? So unfair.”

As much as Chris feared things would change once that interview was released, staring down at you as you perched your chin on his shoulder and locked your arms together, absentmindedly scrolling through your recently watched shows, he couldn’t shake the feeling that the two of you would stay like this forever, inside of your apartment or out and about in the rest of the world. Now that was something he could get used to.

Tags: @patzammit , @thegetawaywriter , @coffeebooksandfandom , @captainsteveevans , @intrepidandabitcrazy , @super100012 , @spilledinkindumpster

If you’d like to be tagged in my future fics, please reply to this post :)

[vydante]

Restart | Avengers x Male! Reader | 9

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Avengers x Male! Reader (romantically: multiple)

Plot: Dr. Strange said there was only one possibility of winning the battle against Thanos.

But when (Name) is forced into the past and into his younger body, he’s suddenly given the chance to start over and prevent the future from happening again.

So which route are you going to take? Are you going to risk the future and take preventative measures, or live life with the Avengers for the next 4 years, knowing what will soon come?

A/N: Long- 5.29k words. Lmao did y’all miss me? Also, completely in POV of future timeline, so no actual (Name) ‘till next chapter. Granted, next chapter we get to meet someone pretty chill, so there’s that. So... yah. 

It's safe to say that it's been a complete shit storm on Earth, Carol muses behind her cup of coffee.

Of course, it's not just Earth that's undergoing complete mass hysteria from the reversed blip. Other planets and societies beyond the Terran solar system were facing the after-effects of what had happened, too- and it doesn't help that Earth was so cut off from the intergalactic systems, so nearly everyone else didn't know of what had happened.

So least to say, she was quite busy trying to maneuver her way through the galaxies (with help, of course) to try and spread the word of what had happened.

Regardless though, she'd thought that after weeks and weeks, perhaps maybe the news would've slowed down a little bit. And it seemed to have, just a little bit, but for every time news slows, another wave comes in.

The first wave was about, obviously, the reversed blip. Of course, that one didn't have enough time to slow down as the next wave came around. The death of Tony Stark was announced a week after the fight- just so his family and friends had enough time to mourn in privacy. Then the next one about the sacrifice Natasha Romanoff made- though it was a smaller wave, it was one that still had a huge impact. And for a while, it seemed like that was that- weeks pass, and just barely had the craze around the reverse blip (Lord, there's got to be another name for this, Carol thinks) lessened.

And then (Name) Stark is pronounced dead.

To say the headlines erupted once again in a mad-dog-like frenzy would be an understatement. Hell- Carol would even dare say that it was almost as talked about as his father's death. Of course, it was in part due to, well, (Name) fucking Stark being pronounced dead. A man of his status was bound to capture the headlines with his passing for weeks, just like his old man.

But it was also in part credited to something else: the timing and nature of his death, or lack thereof.

Carol remembers watching the SI press conference a couple of hours ago, just as it finished broadcasting. She was a few light-years away from Earth as she heads back for check-in.

(New message, 3 hours ago: Maria R.

'Hey, I think you might wanna watch this before you come back to Earth. Just broadcasted. It's about (Name) Stark.'

Carol pauses, midway through drying her hair as she's about to put her uniform on. She'd be lying if curiosity wasn't eating at her, so she still clicks on the link Maria had sent her.)

(Name) was... A prominent figure within Earth's society. Being the CEO of Stark Industries (a massive company, so she's been told), a superhero/ Avenger, and the world's 'longest-running most eligible bachelor' (Carol scoffs- why is that one of the main things the public likes to point out so much?) definitely lands you underneath the people's microscope more often than not.

They'd pick at every nitty-gritty detail one by one and shred into it without mercy.

And even in his death, they did the same thing. Unsatisfied, they practically crucified Stark Industries and the Avengers after SI’s press conference. 

She glances around her, the local tavern loud with nothing but one word on their lips: Stark.

'Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he died from like, an inside job or something.'

'Died too young, man. The kid had so much potential to be great... May God rest his soul.'

Carol shakes her head. They weren’t wrong- from what she’s seen working with (Name), he was a hard worker, that’s for sure. Sighing, she left a tip at her table and quietly left.

Hopefully, for Earth, they’ll come to find some peace soon.

"You okay, punk?”

'No,' Steve fiddles with nail absentmindedly, 'I'm not.'

That's his honest answer to the question. He wants to scream and shout to the world that no, he is not okay whatsoever, but he knows that's one of the many luxuries he'll never get to have anymore- even to the people closest to him. Too much of a burden no one would want to carry.

So, instead, he smiles at Bucky with more teeth than necessary, face straining ever so slightly. 

"Sure thing, Buck'. Are you?"

The brunette offers him a small, sympathetic smile back. It's not the same as Steve had remembered- it used to be confident and relaxed, but nowadays it's always tense and careful. But then again, it wasn't like Steve was the same man either, so he'd be hypocritical to expect the same man from his memories from his old pal.

"I'm managing."

It was always something along the lines of that. Never an okay, never a not okay. Just... managing. Short and simple.

It's scary how much Bucky's reserved presence reminds him of how Steve himself used to be, back when he was wide-eyed and naive to what the world has become without him. He didn't really feel like he was actually there and knowing how separated he and the rest of the world were made him want to close in on himself.

On one hand, he'd never wish that feeling of emptiness on anyone. But on the other hand, he's almost relieved he's not the only one who's felt so completely alone in this world anymore.

Almost.

Steve doesn't say anything as Bucky comes over to where he was in the living room and sits adjacent to him on the couch. For a brief moment, they say nothing as the TV plays the news station. Steve pretends to watch the news, but he can't find the energy to care about what's going on in the news. It's all the same thing nowadays: Blip, Blip, Avengers, Blip, Starks...

Settling down in his seat, he lets his mind drifts off other places instead.

It drifts to a cramped, moldy apartment that was too small and cold for the average person, but just enough for him. 

It drifts to an ugly tower, placed right at the epicenter of one of the most beautiful yet terrifying cities he's ever been in. Charming, and in every way a wonderful representation of the future.

It drifts to the loud yet comforting hum of the inside of the quinjet, sailing ever so smoothly into the night sky after a successful mission. Bruised, but satisfied.

It drifts to a sly redhead with one too many daggers slipped around her person, sitting next to a tired brunette wrapped up in blankets. Deadly, yet delicate. Open, yet intimate.

It drifts to a mystical long-haired blonde and an erratic billionaire, sitting together and joking about as if they hadn't just fought neo-nazis no less than an hour ago. He remembers a rush of fondness glossing over him as he passively observes them.

It drifts to a pair of warm, mirth filled eyes as they listen attentively to Steve ramble on and on about the war as if he had hung the moon. He relishes in the spotlight of their monopolized attention.

It drifts to the nights where life's not as unbearable as it usually is, as he sits across from a usually aggressive young adult quietly chatting about books they've read together: their own secret club. Warm, he reconsiders, comfortable. Content.

It drifts to quiet nights where he tries to focus on the ceiling rather than the erratic beats of his heart, images of his own teammate grinning tiredly at him, lips bruised, split, and inviting. Guilt courses through his veins, but so does heat.

Steve's mind drifts through lots of things before Bucky murmurs into the air nonchalantly.

"It's about Stark, isn't? The son?"

Steve holds back a flinch, praying that Bucky doesn't notice the red crawling up his neck. He wouldn't have been embarrassed if Bucky had meant Tony- of course, Steve misses him dearly- but for Bucky to go straight to you instead is mildly humiliating, to say the least. He can feel Bucky's eyes burning holes into his skull. It'd be no use trying to deny it, so Steve conceded with a reluctant nod.

"That obvious?"

"It's written all over your face."

Steve doesn't offer to say more, so Bucky continues, quieter this time.

"He seemed like a great kid."

Steve huffs with a small amused smile. He thinks back to when you two spent Valentine's Day together- not as a couple, obviously, but you claimed that the two loners on the Avengers team should have each other's backs. He chuckles absentmindedly. You two did nothing but watch movies and critique them all night.

Granted, it was more one-sided as he spent the whole night listening to you go on and on about how objectively, the Hunger Games books were far better than the movies, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. It was nice to hear you talk, especially when it's about something so trivial but important to you.

"One of the best," Steve half-heartedly offers. 

"Tell me 'bout him." Bucky isn't looking at the TV anymore as his eyes are trained on Steve's.

Steve shrugs with a sigh.

"What more can I say that hasn't been said already?"

Ever since the SI press conference, countless of people came out to say great things about you, as they did with Tony. Countless of people praised you, especially with your efforts to help society get back on their feet ever since the blip. Even random people gave their one anecdote with you, whether it be a barista that had served you or folks at Morgan's daycare center whenever you picked her up.

Nothing but words of praises and kindness for you.

Bucky hums, understanding what he means. It wasn't like he hadn't looked at the news as of recently, either. For every 10 headlines that are published, chances are 9 of them have at least one mention of a Stark, whether it be the senior or junior.

They sat in silence once more, something Steve noted as a reoccurring theme between them. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it did make Steve's skin crawl, hoping for the other to say something just once.

"... You were sweet on him, aren't you?"

Though, maybe this was the one time he wished Bucky would've just stayed silent.

It would be horrifying to hear someone accuse him of being in love with his own (ex-) teammate if he hadn't already come to terms with it. Still, it's unnerving to hear someone pinpoint his feelings within a matter of a week or two when it had taken him up until it was too late to figure it out.

"Did it matter?" Steve runs a hand through his hair, almost as if it were a defense mechanism, but he insists it's not, "It's not like he was interested in me, anyways... Not especially after..."

Steve laughs quietly, almost bitterly so. If he thought he had any chance with you before, he sure as hell threw that chance straight in the garbage the moment he locked eyes with you at the airport. And it sure as hell didn't help when he had practically rag-tag teamed up against your own dad.

"Besides... He's a man of the future, Buck. He's so... so bright compared to everyone else. I can't- I don't have much to offer. I'm just- all I'm good for is fighting."

He sighs, and he'll deny it if anyone comments on how resigned it sounded.

"Not to mention, there're other people that he'd be happier with. People that wouldn't- wouldn't hurt him," 'Like you did,' his subconscious bitterly reminds him. And he wasn't wrong- there were other people you could be wonderful with.

You and Queens already had some chemistry, from what Steve's heard in the air. There was never anything substantial, but he'd pass by a few newspapers mentioning you and Spider-Man spotted together more often than not. You two would've been cute, Steve reluctantly admits. He wouldn't even be surprised if you two were dating.

Then there were a few others, too. Surprisingly enough, he saw you and King T'Challa, of all people, together too often in the New York Times, and even Wakanda's own news websites. His Highness' explained it was only ever about the Accords, but Steve wasn't so blind as to not notice how much more genuine T'Challa's smile seemed when you were brought into the conversation.

There was also Thor, too. You stopped talking to the rest of the Avengers save a select few after the initial blip in 2018, so there wasn't any new thing between you and Thor, but Steve reminisces when he'd catch you joking around with Thor and teasing the poor God. If not lovers, you two were most definitely good friends. Steve hates the fact that he's exceptionally happy at the prospect of you and Thor being just friends.

Not to mention the other seemingly boundless amount of people who you'd make a great couple with. Maybe it was just Steve being excessively attentive when it came to you, or maybe it was because everyone's eyes just seemingly happen to gravitate to you, no matter if there's hundreds of people in the room at the same time.

Bucky sighs and mutes the TV. Steve gives him a questioning look, but Bucky only raises an eyebrow back as he looks at him straight on.

"Those just sound like excuses. Never took you for a coward."

Steve bristles.

He'll admit that he's a lot of things. Frustrating, thick-headed, and quick to anger. And knowing other people, they have a whole list to add on to those too, whether it be positive or negative. But one thing he's never been was a coward.

"I'm not- look, I just know a lost fight when I see one, okay? He just- wasn't interested in me, and that's fine. Hell- he's probably not even into men."

Steve's mind lingers back to a picture lying in your old room, back when he used to come visit you just to say goodnight, or to ask you to join him in his morning jog. He never brought up the picture, rationalizing that it was too invasive of a question. You were with a girl- both of you seemed quite young- but it was obvious that you two were more than friends judging by the way you held her and the very obvious hickey on your neck.

His ears burn, and he's not sure if it's with embarrassment or envy.

"But you don't know that, though, do you? You ever asked him any of that? If he was into fellas? If he was into you?'"

Steve tears his eyes away from Bucky's stare, feeling his eyes burn into his skull.

Sure, he never asked you outright anything Bucky had mentioned, that much was obvious. And sure, even entertaining the (pleasant) idea that you were into men, it didn't take a genius to guess that you absolutely loathed Captain America. It was obvious, too. Especially ever since the 'scandal' of you deleting any tweets or photos you had uploaded that Steve was in. 

(Of course, you deleted any photos the Rogue Avengers were in, but that didn't make the stinging hurt any less when Steve had found out.)

Bucky sighs and turns the sound back on. There was a tension in the air between them, but Bucky beat Steve from saying something as he speaks up.

"And the whole thing 'bout you knowing a lost fight when you see one?"

Steve raised an eyebrow. Bucky half-smirks.

"Not the Steve Rogers I know."

He gently punches Steve's shoulder and ruffles his hair, much to Steve's amused annoyance.

"The Steve Rogers I know would've charged headfirst into a battle, even if it was just him against the world. Oh wait- you already tried doing that."

Steve rolls his eyes and playfully shoves Bucky. The amount of razzing he had gotten from Bucky- and others, too, like Sam and Bruce (his heart curls, knowing that Natasha would've been among them as well, telling Steve off for trying to pull a 'bull-headed' move)- was more than enough for Steve to feel bad anymore at this point.

"Shut it." Steve jests.

They fall into a comfortable silence again, though this time Bucky turns back on the TV to a low volume. Steve glances at Bucky, who's got his chin rested absentmindedly on his hand.

"You know... You're taking this awfully well."

Bucky pauses, peering at Steve with a raised eyebrow.

"Taking what?"

"Me bein'," Steve pauses, trying to find the right words before giving up, "Er, into ladies and fellas."

Bucky doesn't say anything for a solid minute, and before Steve was about to start rambling, trying to just get Bucky to say anything, the brunette speaks up, but timidly so.

"It's... not somethin' I ever thought about, y'know? You bein'- bein' into guys, I mean."

He sighs and runs a hand through his shaggy hair. He keeps his eyes glued onto the TV with a soft gaze, so distant that Steve wants to know what he's really thinking about.

"We just... Never talked about it. Never... Never gave it a thought. I'd be lying if I said I was 100%, er, up to speed with it."

Bucky pauses mid-sentence. He waves his hands and flickers his attention to Steve for just a split second, almost as if he's nervous about what he's saying.

"Not the bein' gay thing, or whatever. Just... How open people nowadays are with that stuff."

Steve unclenches his jaw, not even realizing it had been clenched this whole time. It wasn't something that Steve had thought would be new to Bucky, and he almost feels dumb for not realizing it sooner. Hell, even when Steve himself had been defrosted, it shocked him that something as gay relationships were accepted now. Not that he was against it- but to see that the world had progressed like that without him made him hurt less whenever he thought too hard about the old times.

"Oh, Buck..."

Steve places an encouraging hand on Bucky's shoulders, and he almost seems to sag into it.

"Back then, you'd practically be crucified if you were caught."

Bucky's eyes are unfocused, lips pressed in a firm line. Steve doesn't say anything since he doesn't even know what to say to that.

Bucky, seemingly haven snapped out of it, smiles; though, it looks more like a grimace in Steve's opinion.

"Just- give me some time, 'kay? I'll come round sooner or later. Just... It's all still a lot, even after years of bein' here..."

'To the 21st century,' the words lingered on his tongue. Steve sure knows how that feels, to be overwhelmed by the new world. It's almost suffocating, knowing how much you've missed out on, and how different everything is now. It's like drowning, really.

Surrounded by so much, too much, and at one point it even feels like Steve's being dragged down further and further away from the surface no matter how much he tries swimming up. There's no one there to save him, either. No one to dive their hand down into the waters, no one to hold onto as they pull him back up to the surface.

It's just Steve, alone, in a bottomless ocean, drowning. And it's constantly filling up and up and up and God all Steve just wants to do is get away from there and be able to breathe.

Steve pats his shoulders, pulling him in for a side-hug as Bucky returns the gesture. He playfully ruffles the blonde's hair, much to Steve's annoyance, and gives him a lopsided smile that makes the tension in Steve's shoulder loosen.

"B'sides, you're still my Stevie. Not like you've sprouted horns and started killin' people."

Steve rolls his eyes but doesn't comment on that. Once again, they fall into a comfortable silence, though Steve's shoulders feel unexplainably lighter than it has in days.

The sun's almost gone by the time Steve gets home from the group therapy session he was at. It was the same old, same old. Go in, talk about your feelings, and listen to other people afterward. Sure, it helped, and it felt great to empower people to get back up from a great fall, but it just...

It doesn't really fulfill him nowadays.

Hell, he's not sure what can fulfill him now.

Settling in, he notes that Bucky's room is dark; chances are, he's probably out right now. Before, Steve used to be worried about him, but now it's not uncommon for Bucky to be gone every now and then. Steve doesn't really ask where he's going, so long as Bucky doesn't tell him. One day, maybe he'll ask.

Regardless though, Steve rummages around in the fridge to see what he has to work with in terms of dinner. But before he could even take out anything, his phone buzzes with a notification.

Taking out his phone, still halfway into the fridge, Steve glances at the display name.

It's from Rhodes.

Raising an eyebrow, he taps on the notification. It's rare that Rhodey texts, and it's even rarer for him to text Steve of all people. Nowadays, other than any Avenging business, they don't really talk. Granted, Steve also never finds the energy to talk to anyone these days, save a select few and those at the group therapy sessions, but that's beside the point.

So if Rhodey is texting him, it's gotta be important.

And judging by how fast Steve had bolted out the door and onto his motorcycle, it sure as hell was important. 

From: Col. James Rhodes.

To: Capt. Steve Rogers, Dr. Bruce Banner, +3 others.

"Dr. Strange's back. He has new information about (Name), and it's major. He's not staying for long. - James."

Pepper doesn't want to be here.

There was no going around it- as composed as she was and had to be, she knew she could only take so much before she would snap. And sitting in the compound once again, she wouldn't be surprised if what she was about to hear would be the final straw.

She had plans today, too. She was supposed to take Morgan to go see the neighborhood fireworks festival, and she remembers distinctly looking forward to taking Morgan on the ferry-go-round, too. And yet, here she is, at the compound which once used to be lively, but only whispers of her husband and son echo in the hallways.

She had already been sitting in here for an hour before Steve had finally made it. By then, Bruce and Strange had already explained why they were here.

Just like Tony and Natasha, it seemed like your fate had already been set in stone the moment Stephen had spared the time stone for Tony's life.

But that wasn't what they were called in here for; or at least, in a way that Pepper had initially thought. 

Bruce was talking, and as if he was concluding his monologue, he spares a sympathetic glance at everyone in the room, especially at Pepper. She just wishes he'd stop throwing glances at her as if she was a fine piece of China ready to tip over from the cupboard at any moment now (She knows she almost is, but she'd rather be caught dead than to have an emotional breakdown at a time like this. What was it- Stark men are made of iron?)

"And besides... We've retrieved video recording of what happened that day. From DAHLIA."

The only thing in her vision is red. But she doesn't raise her voice. ('Am I going to have to watch it?' She thinks) She doesn't move from her spot as she stares at Bruce, eyes dilated ('Yes, of course, you want to know what happened,' her subconscious betrays her). Her ears are pounding and she doesn't know whether she wants to laugh or cry.

"And why did it take you so long to get the recording?"

She watches like a hawk as Bruce and Stephen grimace. They glance at each other with uncertainty, but it's Bruce who bites the bullet and speaks up.

"Because, ah... We didn't think about it...?"

Suddenly, all she wants to do is scream. Lifting a shaking hand to her head as there's now a pounding at her skull, she clenches her eyes shut.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

She opens her eyes and boy, does she hate the way that everyone's avoiding her gaze. Even the ever so elusive Sorceror Supreme (In her head, she knows he's not at fault. In her heart, she wants to spit on his name.) pretends to be busy, but she knows.

She knows.

She sighs, ignoring the tremble of her lips, and dismissively waves her hand at Bruce.

"Just play it. Please."

Bruce silently nods and pulls up a recording. It's dated back to the day of the reversed blip, a quarter past afternoon. 

Pepper crosses her arm, praying that no one sees her hands quake as the recording starts. 

It's dark and decrepit, with a good portion of the screen glitching out. There are charts and tables everywhere, and Pepper now recognizes them as his health stats. The walls all blur together as she tries to bite back the tears.

There's rubble everywhere. In the distance are lights from fires, but you're so far down there's barely any light at all. Your face isn't in view, and rather what she sees makes her heartache even worse than before.

A gleam of metal jutting out of your stomach is front and center of the camera. It's huge- about the width of her thigh- and it's stained red. Your breathing is labored and short, obvious signs of a panic attack as the sounds of you gasping echo in the room. No one says a thing as an Australian voice speaks up in a frantic.

"Doll! Doll, I need you to breathe! You're going into shock!"

There's no response from you as you continue to hyperventilate. Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees Steve's jaw clench and Bruce covering his mouth. She doesn't react to Rhodey's hand squeezing her shoulder as they all watch on.

There's a weird sound coming out of you. Pepper's heart clenches, and at this point, she doesn't even care that she's crying now- because she knows what that sound is.

That's the sound of you hiccuping.

You're crying.

You- one of the strongest men she knows, an Avenger, a hero, her baby- are crying, alone, and she was none the wiser to your suffering.

You're moving- oh God, your arm- and the video feed pick up scuttering and growling. Her stomach drops even further. Chitauri. 

Your other arm grasps all over your lower body, barely gliding past your wounds (oh God, please tell her that's not a steel beam) and into your pockets. There's an orange tint, barely there, but in your hands as DAHLIA speaks up again.

"Don't move! You've been impaled by a steel beam and your prosthetic arm has been dislocated- any more movement will result in an increased blood loss! I am attempting to contact Mister-"

There's the sound of glass shattering before the video camera shuts off. The charts suddenly spike unnaturally, going practically haywire as the only thing left coming from the screen is the sound of DAHLIA's voice glitching. 

"-er-er-er!"

It was a horrific way to go if Stephen's being honest.

Of course, as both a doctor and Sorcerer Supreme, he's seen- and even experienced- his fair share of gruesome injuries and deaths. It was par the course, so it wasn't enough to make him want to empty his guts.

But he'd be lying if he said that he didn't at least feel his stomach curl in when he had to witness your 'death' the first few times. 

Seeing you crushed under debris, your prosthetic arm hanging by a few strings, and literally impaled by a steel beam wasn't a pleasant sight whatsoever. Add on watching your scared form hyperventilating and hearing your A.I. trying to calm you down with heartbreakingly real panic in her voice, and it was downright unbearable.

And that was the best of it: there were ones where the steel beam had sliced through your skull or where you had been straight up mauled by the Chitauri as you didn't have your suit on hand, for whatever reason. There were other scenarios where the chitauri had mobbed-up your decapitated head, and Thanos had presented it to the older Stark, just as he was about to grab the stones. That one move proved fatal for everyone, as even Stark had lost his composure at the sight of his dead son.

As much as Stephen doesn't want to say it, he knew that what had actually happened to you was the best possible route that had been chosen for you.

The video ends, and the Captain leans away from the wall he was positioned on. 

"What the hell happened? One moment- he was trapped under rubble, the next, nothing? Suddenly we lose all contact with him? What- did he just- pop out of existence?"

He's frustrated, angry. Stephen would be lying if he didn't feel an inkling of the same emotions as him. Stephen runs a shaky hand through his hair.

"You're not entirely wrong, Captain. What happened to him was similar to that of St- Tony," He corrects himself prematurely, "and Romanoff."

"You telling me he was meant to- to die too? Like Tony and Natasha?"

Stephen shakes his head, ignoring the seething anger in the captain's voice. In the corner of his eyes, he sees Rhodes wrap his arms around Pepper, who's sat still in her chair, staring blankly at Stephen. It's almost as if she's seeing past him for a split second as if she's looking at someone else behind him.

There's only a wall next to him. He ignores her, skin prickling at her unwavering attention, yet eery silence.

"It's a means to an end. I can't pick their fates, Captain. That's not how my powers work."

'Though, it would've been better for the sake of everyone had it did work that way.' Stephen bitterly remarks.

"Besides that, I never said he's dead, Captain. Or, shouldn't be, anyway." Stephen carefully avoided answering if it was a necessity that you were to go.

Stephen internally sighs, knowing immediately that wasn't the right thing to say judging by the 'oh God' Pepper just muttered.

Rhodes speaks up with a clenched jaw. He had been silent this whole time, but Stephen wasn't foolish enough to not recognize how even he had been bothered by the film. Whether it was because of the gore, emotional connection, or both, Stephen doesn't care enough to ask.

"Then what exactly are you saying?"

Stephen, once again, ignores how confrontational his tone is. He doesn't blame Rhodes for his frustrations; being a doctor, it's inevitable that he'd come and get used to people like this.

'They're mourning,' he hears imaginary Christine chiding him.

Stephen sighs. He's not even sure how to break it all to them, as even he's not too sure of what has become of you after the film. But regardless, Stephen reels himself back in and composes himself.

He pulls back the need to add any fluff words and says what he's been inching to say ever since he had attended Tony's funeral.

"Stark's traveled back in time; the only problem is, is that we don't know when and where."

Masterlist

Tagged: @unsolvetheheckoutofit