#shes decided to do her laundry after she gets home

[hoahoahoahoahoa]

I’m not quite done with this idea but i don't think i'm in a place to sit down and write a fic so i'll just word vomit here

First of all, my two fav side effects of this AU:

Not only does Edward not have the edge on Bella that he has on everyone, but she has that edge on him. He's forced to be vulnerable to her the same way everyone but her is forced to be with him. He's getting a taste of his own medicine in the worst way. (not that he's invading others' privacy on purpose most of the time, but it is what it is)

2a. Edward does a lot of romanticizing Bella, because he can. She's the one person onto whom he can project. It sounds nastier than it is-- that's how all relationships are to some degree, especially at first before you get to know the person. The difference is how much of a novelty this is for Edward. Finally, he can get to know someone at a normally pace, not privy to private events they don't mean to share. He goes a little overboard idealizing her because she's the first mystery he's had in a long ass time. Except now... Bella can catch him doing it.

2b. Bella's got the reverse now. She gets all Edward's dirty laundry from the jump. She meets him at his very worst... and she sees him rise above it, and how quickly he turns around.

Okay busting out my copy of Midnight Sun for this play-by-play of the first book:

Obviously a big plot change is Bella knows Edward is a vampire from day one. Even if she doesn't clue in from anything she hears from him in the cafeteria (she might not even fully realize what's happening in the cafeteria; maybe Bella's telepathy doesn't have as long a range as Edward's b/c she's human and also "borrowing" the gift), it's super obvious as soon as her scent hits him in Biology.

She's frozen in place from the shock of suddenly having telepathy + the revelation that vampires are real + Edward's a telepath (that can't hear her?) + the sheer violence in Edward's thoughts. She manages to gather her thoughts enough to consider running out of the room or even asking to be excused, but she doesn't trust her voice to not give away her terror, which would escalate the situation.

Class ends and Edward runs out and Bella decides very, very quickly that Edward Cullen cannot know that she can read his mind and knows about him being a vampire. Surely he would follow through on killing her if he knew. She's got to play it cool like none of this ever happened. She can't tell anyone, because he (and his vampire family?) would kill them too.

Some of Edward's thoughts in Biology involved following her home and eating her there so there'd be less casualties. She has no way of knowing that he ran away to Alaska. It's not even a comfort that he doesn't return to school; she spends the whole time he's away waiting for him to appear out of thin air and kill her. She sharpens a stick from her backyard into a stake which she keeps in her backpack because she has no way of knowing it couldn't work, and she doesn't want to feel totally helpless, even if it's a silly gesture. No harm in trying.

In this time she does get some flashes of Alice's visions during lunch now that Alice has turned her "eye" on her. She has no clue what to make of them. Her with red eyes?? Her smiling with Alice?? Her with Edward?? These cannot be coming from her own imagination what the fuck is going on, she must be losing her mind from everything that's been happening

Edward comes back to school and Bella's picking up snippets from him from across the room. he seems much less murder-y. but she's not ready to trust that after everything she heard that first day. It doesn't help that Edward is coming in with every intention of gaslighting her ("Why didn’t she look up? Probably she was frightened. I must be sure to leave her with a different impression this time. Make her think she’d been imagining things before.")

The thing about Bella trying to hide her telepathy, which becomes very apparent in Biology on Edward's first day back, is she's never had to do that before. It's very difficult. It doesn't help that Edward's internal monologue is trained on how helpless she isa nd how it hurts to breathe near her because she smells so tasty

Talking to Edward is just difficult I’m general bc vampires are canonically capable of having multiple trains of thought at once and we know Bella is frequently ~dazzled~ by his beauty so Edward quickly becomes very concerned for this poor girl she’s hanging on by a THREAD

And of course Bella hears this worry so she’s in a positive feedback loop of anxiety. RIP

anyway Bella doesn’t do a perfect job of hiding her fear and her newfound ability. She slips up juuuust enough that Edward is Suspicious. But she makes it through

The tipping point for Bella going from "terrified" to "oh this is a complicated creature" is the incident with Tyler's van. For a horrible moment, Bella's absorbed in Alice's vision of her getting squished. Then she hears Not her! in her head in Edward's voice, clear as day. And she hears all Edward's anxiety over the potential for exposure but also how he just really, really doesn't want her to die (even if it's confusing him). She laughs a little too hard at his "no blood, no foul" joke at the hospital because she's in on it now and she's too stressed to think better of it.

I think her mind also, like. Snaps. at this point. She's done worrying. He's gonna kill her or he's not. He can't even seem to decide, and she can't do anything about it anyway, she's just going to keep on keeping on and if she dies, well, at least the end of her life will have been the most interesting bit? And yeah she's a little bit of a freak and she's fascinated by this guy. What is his deal. She’s along for the ride now

Bella doesn't grill Edward for the truth of how he got over to her so fast but she does slip up and thank him for risking so much to save her and he's like wait. Does she mean risking his life with the van or risking exposure of him and his family? There's no way she could know about that??

Of course that day is the day Alice lets it slip to Edward that he's going to fall in love with Bella. Bella isn't present for that but the next month, Edward refuses to talk to Bella but she hears a constant stream of I do NOT have a crush on her, I AM going to kill Mike Newton, I am NOT falling for her, even if it'd be so easy to fall for her, I wonder what she's thinking right now, I will NOT destroy her future, my throat HURTS and honestly it's still freaky as hell to be privy to a vampire's mind but her mind's kinda. Snapped. by now. and she can't help but be a tiny bit amused. At least he's not fighting "the monster within" anymore? Is this some weird strategy to keep from killing her? Sure, fine, whatever, thanks

Bella catches snippets of memories of the family meeting about killing her too. Btw. Much 2 think about

When Edward finally asks her if she wants a ride to Seattle, she hears how genuinely nervous he is, and she knows, fucking knows exactly how dangerous he is, so she honestly shocks herself when she says yes. He hasn’t killed her yet, and he’s genuinely fascinating, at this point she’s Into him but also studying him like a bug

At lunch that day Bella hears in Edward’s head that he’s ditching because they’re blood typing. She can’t think of a good excuse to also ditch. Edward is extremely confused that she leaves for Biology like she’s about to walk into a war zone

Port Angeles happens much the same as in canon with Bella feigning ignorance and acting like she hasn’t known about Edward being a vampire from day one. It seems silly to admit she figured out the vampire thing but not mention the telepathy, but every time she opens her mouth to admit to the telepathy, she remembers the snippets of the family meeting about killing her and she chokes on her tongue. It’s one thing for a vampire to choose to confirm a human’s suspicions about the existence of vampires. It’s another entirely for a human to have direct access to a vampire’s mind and the whole coven’s secrets, right?

So now Bella’s stuck herself in a horrible situation where Edward’s trying to be honest with her and she’s lying to his face. Angst angst angst

Bella doesn’t realize that night that she’s in love with Edward.

Edward has a really conflicting image of Bella because on the one hand nothing ever seems to surprise her. On the other, she seems nervous every time she opens her mouth. The idea that she can read his mind is just so far-fetched it just doesn’t occur to him— even he couldn’t read thoughts as a human

Bella hears the Bug Calculations in the meadow. I just wanted to point that out. It’s hilarious

Bella finally breaks. I’m thinking Midnight Sun page 349, right after this exchange:

…but when she says “you know, the rest of us feel that way all the time” it’s absolutely stricken with guilt and nerves. He never gets a choice in telling her what he’s thinking. It’s finally being thrown in her face. She can’t keep this up anymore. This can’t go on— not without him knowing

So of course replace “I was wishing I could know what you’re thinking” with a horrible minute of absolute silence from Bella. Her heart rate spikes and she finally braces herself says “no, ‘the rest of us’ includes your family. They can’t read minds, either.”

Even with his vampiric supercomputer brain™ it takes a good 5 seconds for him to register that she’s responding to something he didn’t say out loud. He chokes out her name in a strangled cry. This is the quietest his mind has ever been to her. She broke him. Good lord did she trigger something is he going to kill her— no, he wouldn’t, but what if—

Bella immediately starts crying. Sorry, babygirl. Yeah she terrified. She thinks Here it comes. She starts babbling. She blurts out the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. “I’m not like you. Not really. I can only ‘hear’ you. And I don’t think my range is as far as yours, from what you’ve described. I’ve been afraid to tell you because I figured someone like you couldn’t let someone like me live with the knowledge I have now but because I was afraid to let you suspect I knew anything, I got to know you“ etc etc

Edward is still through all of it. Deathly (hah) still. Straight corpsin’. She’s now getting static from his brain— too many thoughts too fast for her human mind to pick anything comprehensible out.

Boy oh boy if Edward was struggling with the mortifying ordeal of being known before… he just found out the woman he’s in love with has been live-streaming his inner monologue every second they’ve been together. Noice 👌

He’s really, really angry. At Bella, for hiding this. At himself, for not seeing it sooner. At himself again, for every wicked thought he’s had in her presence (I know he’s prob not catholic but the catholic guilt is strong in this one). Every shared moment with her flashes before his eyes in reverse chronological order, leaving him off with the first day in Biology. Truly the most heinous thoughts he’s ever thunk, in his opinion, and she heard it all. “You’re here.” He says. “You know exactly how close I’ve come to killing you, over and over again… and you’re here.” It occurs to him that Bella could’ve been going along with his plans and pretending to be his friend for fear of her life, but she hears that train of thought and shuts it down: “Yes, I’m here. Because I want to be.” Edward winces because okay, yes, it does suck being on this side of the telepathy, confirmed.

Still, he tells her in short order, because he thinks it needs to be said: “You can leave right now. You can never talk to me again. I won’t come after you, and I’ll protect you from my family.” He silently prays that Alice loves Bella enough to not tell Rose or Jasper about this if she’s seen it, and then winces when he realizes Bella can probably hear that he’s not 100% certain he could protect her from his family.

She takes his hand. Gives him a really sad smile. “I’ll stay… if you’re sure you want me to.”

Edward starts choking/laughing/sobbing. Here’s this girl who’s seen him at pretty much his lowest, laughed her way through his feeble disguise, and somehow still accepts him.

Hearing this thought, something occurs to Bella: she loves him. Isn’t that what love is? Seeing someone’s worst, and taking their hand? Maybe she’s not in love with him yet, but… yeah, that’s some kind of love.

Now she’s looking at him like she loves him. Edward doesn’t dare believe that’s the expression she’s wearing, so her softened gaze and slight smile are driving him crazy: “Tell me what you’re thinking— I think I’m justified in asking, now” he’s still reeling so he’s gonna crack a joke, ok

“I meant it when I said you’re beautiful.” He can appreciate that more now— she knew how truly monstrous he was when she said that. He’s been dead wrong about her not understanding, or underestimating— she knows. It doesn’t really connect in his brain. So the word “Beautiful” sends him off on his canon tangent about being designed to kill (“aS iF yOu CoUlD oUtRuN mE”)— maybe an in-person demonstration will drill it into her that he’s too dangerous to want to be around

Instead of calling herself an idiot for still wanting to be around him, Bella argues that she’s aware of all that, but she’s also aware of the horrible pain he endures just to be around her, and all the control he’s shown so far.

Okay this is long enough already djdjxjxdjsjs TBC if there’s any demand for it

AU where Bella’s gift is not so much a shield as it is an Uno reverse card

Edward can read everyone’s mind but Bella’s as in canon, but now she can read Edward’s mind

Alice’s visions are blank where she’s concerned (like the werewolves in canon), but Bella can see visions of the future involving Alice, or has visions when she’s around Alice. Jasper’s gift is already kinda 2-way so he can still sense/manipulate her emotions, but she can do it back to him. She can hurt Jane, zap Kate, etc etc

Bella would have the weirdest fucking first day of school anyone has ever had, ever. There’s a voice in her head saying “yeah okay I guess she’s pretty but kind of plain and— wait why can’t I hear her” and then Biology is just. The worst hour of her life. but being Bella she’s just sitting there like

…while Edward plans the death of her and all her classmates right next to her

[lillaydee]

Head Over Heels Part 4

Jackson!Joel / Reader

Special Guest Appearance by a Certain FBI Agent who may or may not look a lot like Joel.

You left the loneliness of your home and headed to Jackson with Joel and the teenage girl he was with, hoping your new life would be less lonely. You should've stayed alone.

WARNING:

Non-canon Compliant, Pining, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Joel Lives (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy, Loneliness, Trauma.

MEGA WARNING: Descriptions of Attempted Sexual Assault.

@copperhalfcent @joelalorian @vickie5446 @peelieblue @nandan11

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 3

---

One month. You decided that you would stay for a month to see if you would stay for good. And now that month was up. Time to make a decision.

That first week after the settling down period was interesting. During the settling down week, the three of you basically went everywhere together. Had your meals together. No talking, but the familiarity of being together helped you. Helped all three of you, even, you dared thought. Joel would go out first, and you would wait for Ellie. But every time you came out of the door, he would be there and walked with both of you over to the hall. After dinner, he would walk the two of you home and then leave again to go to the Bison for a drink with Tommy.

When that week was over, you woke up early to make sure everyone had a good start to your new lives in Jackson. You made breakfast. Nothing fancy, just some eggs and toast, which Ellie devoured even if she wasn’t speaking to you. When Joel came down, he stopped at the bottom of the stairs for a good minute, taking in the food on the table, and the coffee you made for him. He came over and told Ellie to have a great day at school, sort of looked your way, nodded and told you to have a great day at the greenhouse and left, his breakfast and coffee untouched.

For a second, you could’ve sworn you saw Ellie looked at him a certain way, shaking her head and chancing a glance at your hurt expression that he didn’t touch the food you made for him. She didn’t say anything to you, though. She took half of the eggs you had scrambled for Joel and gave you the rest, devouring her breakfast in silence as you poured the coffee meant for him in a to go cup for you to take to work before making some sandwiches for Ellie’s lunch.

When you walked Ellie to school, you ran into him, walking out of the dining hall, getting ready to go on his first patrol, a cup of coffee in his hands. He watched you drop Ellie off, and then turned around and left for the stables with Tommy.

That breakfast with Ellie was the last one you would have with her over the coming month. She made friends at school that day and left early to have breakfast with them at the hall every single day since then, even on weekends. She left the lunch you made for her untouched, leaving it on the table when she got back from school that first day before leaving again to see her new friends.

You ate those sandwiches for dinner, alone. Joel didn’t come home until well past ten, when you and Ellie were already in bed.

The same happened every day for the whole week. When the next Monday came, you stopped bothering.

You swallowed your pride and went on with your new life, focusing instead on those who did enjoy your company. Your new colleague at the greenhouse, Liv, was nice. She and her sister Diana came to Jackson a few years back. Diana worked in the kitchen, and the two of them, along with Maria had taken you in, and soon, you felt as if you had been friends with them forever. Since Joel and Ellie had both decided your presence was no longer necessary at their mealtimes, you dined with the sisters and Maria instead.

You spent your first two weekends after settling down cleaning the house and doing the laundry, before Joel told you to stop, taking his clothes off your hands, rather roughly, you might add, telling you he and Ellie could do their own laundry, and clean their own areas too. So don’t bother, he said, and don't go around rummaging through my stuff.  

You were stunned. Ellie just watched as he did this, adding that her stuff was off-limits too.

The truth was you were gagging for something to do. You were often alone at the house on the weekends, Ellie off somewhere with her new friends and Joel on patrol or off fixing something somewhere in the small town. By that third weekend, you were going out of your mind. So you looked for things to do, helping out at the bakery, the kitchen, heck, you even went for an extra shift or two, completely without pay at the greenhouse just because.

It was when you decided to go to the library that you found what you needed. They didn't have the Chronicles of Narnia, but they did have a copy of the Two Towers and the Hobbit. You almost shouted in excitement. You scoured the place for Return of the King, but even Ike, the kind, older man who took care of the library told you he hadn’t had the pleasure of finding one yet, but he would let you know as soon as one was found.

You took those books everywhere, reading them at every opportunity, straight up running into Joel as you left the house one morning with your nose literally in the book. You fell on your back, and Joel dropped his pack to help you up.

“Oh, dear, are you okay, Joel?”

A sweet, simpering voice came calling, followed by a blurred figure rushing past you, knocking you back onto your ass on your own door step, trying to make sure Joel was okay, even though he didn’t even budge from the impact.

Joel went around her to help you up, offering his hand to you, but somehow, the presence of that woman made you want to get out of there as fast as you could. You ignored his hand and left, muttering an apology to him while practically jogging away from the house you shared with him.

It was her, Vanessa. She was in his patrol team. She was married, according to Liv, to Pete, the town playboy. They were very young when the outbreak happened, and met at the QZ their parents took them to. They escaped when there was a coop there, and travelled together for years, and then married when they settled in Jackson. But Pete, a good looking, strong, strapping man in his thirties, when suddenly presented with a gaggle of young ladies in Jackson, decided that Vanessa alone wasn’t enough for him anymore. They had only known each other, and Pete was unashamedly sowing his wild oats, and Vanessa was forced to watch helplessly as her husband went around with every single and available, and in some cases, taken and married lady in town.

She had attempted to do exactly what he did just to spite him, but apparently, men were less enticed by the town playboy’s wife than she thought they would be. It didn’t help that Pete was a somewhat scary man, the years of travelling having to protect a woman alone had made him ruthless, and no men wanted the hassle of facing an angry Pete.

Rumour had it that Vanessa had had enough of this humiliation her husband had put her through. All this while, no man had dared take her up on her offer – they were all to afraid of Pete. But now, it seemed, a new man had arrived in town. One who had a reputation as a killer, a ruthless, savage killer. One who was well-connected in Jackson, the brother-in-law to the mayor of Jackson.  

A man Pete wouldn’t dare touch.

Joel Miller.

And she wanted him and made absolutely no effort to hide it.

Liv and Diana told you the popularity Joel Miller had in this small town. The young ladies, most of whom were younger than his daughter Sarah would’ve been if she hadn’t passed, positively swooned over him. They all stared and giggled at him every time he was around. You had to sit through an entire lunch where the girls at the next table were wondering out loud what kind of a savage he would be in bed.

You should make your move, Elena, or he would be swiped out right from under you, Liv and Diana told you, giggling good-naturedly.

You kept telling yourself you didn’t care. Your crush on him was on the sidelines for now, ready to be shoved into some back closet you had yet to find in your mind, now that you knew for sure what he thought of you. But your heart ached every time you hear these much younger, much prettier women coo over him, the man you had been crushing hard on these past 15 years. Maybe he was a hard ass who didn’t want to risk opening his heart to anyone, but he was just a red blooded man. A handsome, rugged, red blooded man. Who’s to say he wasn’t fucking them already?

You had to physically shake your head to get the images of him fucking one of these ladies in the room across the corridor from you out of your head. You didn’t know if your heart could ever take it if that were to happen. But somehow, you managed to put those thoughts away by losing yourself in the new books you had borrowed. Middle Earth was much safer than Jackson, you felt. At least Middle Earth wouldn’t break your heart.

You were telling Liv and Maria your frustrations about not having the final book in the trilogy that evening when Vanessa came gliding in, arms wrapped around Joel’s who looked like he would rather be anywhere but there, all ready for her evening shift at the greenhouse. He stepped away from her, taking his arm away from her grasp, gruffly asking you if you were ready to leave, puzzling you. Joel Miller offering to walk you home from work? Something was not right. It wasn’t until Vanessa reminded him to eat the dinner she made for him while it was hot that you realized what was happening. Ah… he was walking her to work and had to come up with a quick strategy to not make it obvious to you by asking you if you were ready to leave. Liv and Maria watched in uneasy silence as Vanessa crooned on and on about what a gentleman Joel was to walk her all the way to the greenhouse.

“I’m okay to walk by myself, Joel. Thank you.”

He stood there for a while, looking as if he wanted to say something to you, but ultimately decided against it and left, Vanessa sweetly saying goodbye to him. She turned to you after he closed the door behind him, sighing, telling you she didn’t understand how you could live with someone like him and not jump his bones already. You stood up and took a basket with you, going to the row of peppers, picking some to dry on the rack. She followed you, asking you incessant questions about his likes, his dislikes, his background, refusing to shut up, annoying the living shit out of you. You’d finally had enough and turned to her with a snap, telling her that you were not his mother, nor the keeper of all that was Joel Miller, so could she please leave you alone?

Vanessa looked at you as if you had slapped her, muttering an apology before finally walking away from you. You made your way back to the big table, Maria and Liv looking at you with a look that you could only decode as pity. You gathered the veggies you were going to send to the kitchen for dinner and placed them in the trolley, telling them you were clocking out for the day, placing the Two Towers on top of everything and wheeled the trolley out of there.

You turned the corner out of the greenhouse to Joel standing with his back to the wall, his hands in his pockets. He stood up straight when he saw you, rushing over to get the cart from you. You quickly moved it past him, telling him you had it. Go home Joel. What would the townspeople think if they saw the two of you together? Bad enough you lived together, you refused to get in the way of him having a life there.

“Look, I didn’t walk her here, Vanessa showed up with dinner, and I was just…”

“Well, go home and have it. You heard what she said, have it while it’s hot!”

And with that, you pushed the cart away, leaving him standing there, gripping the handle tight and hoped he didn’t see your shaking hands. Maria came running after you, hands on her pregnant belly, Liv following close behind.

“You okay?” Maria asked you.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Elena, it’s me. You can be honest with me.”

“I’m fine, Maria. I need to get these to the kitchen.”

**********

You had to admit, you liked it here in Jackson, despite the loneliness you felt whenever you were home. You liked that you had things to do. That you had a purpose, that you were contributing. You had duties you had to do. People you could help. You felt useful. Everywhere in this town you felt useful, welcomed, liked.

Everywhere in Jackson, except your own home.

Ellie still wouldn’t talk to you or Joel, stomping around in and out the house, only speaking when asking you where the detergent was, or how to work the washing machine, or to tell you she was going to hang out with her friends. She had only begun doing that because you had gone around town one night looking for her when you opened the door to her room to check on her before bedtime, only to realize she wasn’t there.

That was one of the rare instances you and Joel communicated in peace and went your separate ways looking for her.

When you found her and dragged her home, she screamed at you for invading her privacy. For putting your nose in her business. She only got quiet when you arrived home to Joel seething on the porch, giving her an earful about how she was your responsibility, his responsibility, and how you couldn’t keep her safe if she didn’t let you know where she was going. She was about to say something else when he told her to really, really think if she wanted to say what she was about to say. She looked at you and Joel with such hatred in her eyes before slamming the door shut behind her as she went inside.

You and Joel stood around on the porch composing yourselves in silence before going inside and retiring to your rooms for the night.

And as for you and Joel. Well…

You saw him return an empty container to Vanessa a couple of times, previously filled with a homemade dinner or breakfast made by her truly. You couldn’t help but feel stung that he would eat her offerings when he ignored that one breakfast you made for him. You, the woman who lived with him, the one who travelled with him for months, the one who nursed him back to health when he needed it. The one he had known for 15 years. This man, who had no problem eating the meals you cooked with Bill way back when, who ate the stuff you cooked or reheated on the road for him and Ellie, had resolutely refused to eat something you cooked now that you were living under the same roof.

Ever since that day he got caught walking Vanessa to the greenhouse, he hadn’t openly tried to do so again, although you did see him in the vicinity of the greenhouse every time you left your shift, standing somewhere near, making himself busy looking at some trees and walls with interest. Conveniently, those were also the days Vanessa had come in to take over your shift.

Hmph, hide it better, Joel. Not like you were going to stop him.

Sleeping at night had gotten easier and easier, the room now felt like a sanctuary for you. It was the place you could be alone. You used to toss and turn at night before falling asleep, but these days, all you had to do was lie down, and you would drift off. Maybe it was the safety of the walls, maybe it was familiarity, but most probably you were just tired from your busy day. Sometimes, that dream you used to have, one where Joel would caress your face or smooth your hair, or tuck your blanket around you would come, but you had gotten so used to those dreams you ignored them.

You did wake up after one such dream one day to your bedroom door ajar. You got up to close it, cursing that the old door was starting to cause problems before going to use the bathroom. You came back out and got in bed, hearing a door click shut somewhere in the house.

Shit was that someone in the house? Did Joel just get back? At this hour? Not that you cared if he did, but if he wasn’t home before when you woke up to your door ajar, that gave you pause.

You installed a latch on the door the next day just so it wouldn’t give you any more trouble, to keep your mind at ease.

Strangely, you never had those dreams again.

You were still teetering on whether or not you wanted to stay in Jackson when one day, Ellie wasn’t home 30 minutes after she said she would be home. You went looking for her, remembering Liv’s words that evening during dinner - she saw Ellie and her friends walking towards their ‘hideout’ looking like they were up to something. So you went to the ‘hideout’, opening the door to find Ellie sitting down with her bite mark out, one of her friends tattooing something on it. They froze when they saw you.

You wanted to say something, of course you did, but you didn’t want to give her a reason to be mad at you for going off on her in front of her friends. So you left, giving her a stare that was enough, it seemed, for her to get the message. She came home 30 minutes later, her arm wrapped, meekly sitting across from you as you sat on the couch in the living room with a stern glare her way.

“What were you thinking Ellie? You didn’t think you should’ve talked to me or Joel about this? You were showing them your bitemark! What if they had told people?”

“They wouldn’t do that, okay? They’re my friends! They would never betray me like that. I just wanted to cover it up once and for all. I wanted to be able to roll up my sleeves, wear short sleeved t-shirts and not worry someone was going to see the mark.”

“Ellie, I get where you’re coming from. If you wanted to hide the mark we could’ve figured something out, but Ellie, if people find out about this, they might do things to you. Give you up to the Fireflies, kill you, even. Not everyone can be trusted with this information, Ellie!”

“God!” she screamed, standing up. “Will you stop controlling my life? You are not my mother!”

“I’m only looking out for you Ellie, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“Well, if you had let me die in Salt Lake City, you could’ve spared yourself that worry.”

“Ellie!”

“Look, Elena, I’m gonna say this one more time. You. Are. Not. My. Mother. I'm not a fucking child. Leave me the fuck alone. God! You’re so annoying! I wish you would just leave already! I should’ve kept quiet when you wanted to go back to Boston. At least I wouldn’t have to face your annoying face every day! No wonder Joel won’t talk to you. You’re like a fly nobody wants! Buzzing around, being nosey. Just get off my back already!” she snarled, before taking her jacket and leaving, slamming the door behind her.

You sat there, willing yourself not to cry.

So, that’s what she thought of you.

She’s an angry teenager, you reminded yourself. She didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean it.

You needed a distraction.

Diana and Liv had always asked you to join them for a drink at the Bison. You never went, the crowd of drunk people made you nervous. But if there was one thing you needed today, it was a distraction. The crowd and the music and the buzz might help.

Yeah. You’ll go to the Bison.

You got up and went upstairs to get ready. Just as you were shutting your bedroom door you heard Joel and Tommy come in, their voices carrying up the stairs.

“Listen brother, you’re here now, permanently, maybe dating is not a bad idea. But not that Vanessa chick. She’s married, Joel. People are talking.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m not seeing her. I’m fine with being alone. I have Ellie to worry about.”

“Look, I’m just saying, Elena…”

“No, never suggest that again. I told you. That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. Not her. Anyone but her, you hear?”

“Okay, okay, sheesh. But, I have to tell you, brother. A lot of men in town are interested in her. They keep asking me if she's off limits – they’re scared of you, you know. But maybe, if you date someone else, they could ask her out. She’s hot, man. But they don’t dare go near her cause they think she’s with you.”

Joel didn’t answer. You couldn’t see any of them, but you could feel the tension between the brothers all the way upstairs.

“Joel, if you don’t want her, don’t stop her from having a chance at happiness, brother. She’s pretty, she's nice. If she has a shot at being happy here, having a normal life, a family, let her, brother. Although, I still think you and her…”

“Tommy!” Joel’s voice rang throughout the house, and you could just see him grit his teeth, jaws clenching at Tommy.

“Yes alright! I’ll stop! So tonight, when you come for a drink, maybe don’t bite the heads of the ladies who come trying their luck with you, huh? Go out on dates, and then maybe Elena would have a chance. But Joel, are you sure you’re not…”

“Tommy, I will never, ever, be with her like that. You hear me? Or would your hearing get better with my fist in your face?”

“Fine. Just… think about the dating thing, okay? See you in ten.”

You heard the front door close, and a huge sigh of relief from Joel.

You took a shawl from the hook behind your door and wrapped it around yourself, waiting until you heard him move away from the front door to leave. You heard the kitchen sink turn on, and snuck downstairs as quickly as you could, shutting the front door behind you quietly.

If you heard the front door open behind you as you walked away, you didn’t look back, not wanting him to see the tears free-falling down your cheeks.

**********

Your worst fear was now confirmed. They didn’t want you there with them. The two people who were the closest thing you had to family didn’t want you there.

You. Are. Not. My. Mother.

I wish you would just leave already!

You’re like a fly nobody wants!

Not her. Anyone but her.

I will never, ever, be with her like that.

Those words kept coming to you, pelting at you like bullets you couldn’t dodge, lodging themselves in your mind.

You wiped your wet face with your shawl, walking into the Bison to join Liv and Diana with a huge smile on your face as if nothing was bothering you.

You had just ordered your second drink when Joel and Tommy walked in, Joel eyeing you nervously.

No. You were not going to let him win. You were not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt you.

You went back to your table and sat down, happily laughing as you listened to Liv tell a story about a date she had when she first got to Jackson. You saw him in the corner of your eyes, staring at you from across the room, his hands twirling his drink on the table.

And then, Vanessa walked in. She beelined towards him and Tommy, immediately sitting down next to Joel, her arm around his. She said something to him, and he said something back to her, his eyes still on you. She got up and went to the bar to get herself a drink, coming back to sit next to him, saying something to Tommy instead.

You tried your best to give Liv and Diana your full attention, not wanting to seem distracted. But you couldn’t. Try as you might, your attention was always drawn back to Joel, now happily laughing with Tommy and Vanessa, her hands all over him. He certainly didn’t make any attempts to stop her from where you were sitting.

And then, one of the young ladies you had heard talk about Joel once, Esther, if you remembered correctly, walked up to him. You saw Vanessa’s face turn. The lady said something to him, her body language flirty as she played with her hair, batting her eyelashes at him. She turned to walk away, and after a moment, Joel picked up his glass and followed her to the bar, sitting next to her, looking her in the eyes, listening to her talk and talk.

When had he ever looked at you straight in the eyes like that on a social basis? His eyes were always on your feet, his own, or the necklace or bracelet you wore, the ones Tess gave you. Never your eyes. And here he was, taking Tommy’s advice, focusing on this lady as if she was the most important person in the room.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t be here to watch this. To watch the man you had been crushing hard on from the past 15 years treat someone else, look at someone else the way you had wished he would you for years.

You knew what you needed to do. You excused yourself, told Liv and Diana you had something important to talk to Maria about and left.

When Maria opened her front door, she was greeted by a sobbing you.

“Maria, I need your help. I can’t stay in that house with them anymore. They don’t want me there, Maria. I don’t want to leave, but please let me stay somewhere else. I need this Maria. Please.”

---

Part 5

[wisconsindean]

do not look at this i’m just gonna be throwing a fit in the tags and i need to feel like its going somewhere

[fairytales-and-folklore]

Chapter Three: Laundry

Abbie and Ichabod have an unspoken agreement to never, ever talk about the shower incident. And, to avoid future embarrassment (and because she's running out of clothing that will actually fit him) she decides to take him shopping over the weekend. The mall is a strange and fascinating new place for Ichabod, and it's hard to remain frustrated with someone who won't budge from the brilliantly colorful and shiny advertisement posters on all the shop windows when he's staring at them with such awe and admiration. Although, Abbie admits, it'd be nice if he could just shut up for a minute and let her think.

"Lieutenant, the artistry and calligraphy of these…what did you call them…advertisements…is truly a wondrous sight! The work that must have gone into creating such color, such precision! Not to mention all of the wasted trees…they must have cut down an entire forest just to decorate these shop windows! Pity, that."

Abbie grasps him by the cuff of his jacket and tugs him along, weaving in between a sea of customers that continuously bump shoulders with an unaffected Ichabod. The storefronts rush past them in a blur of blended colors and bold, modern font, until Ichabod stops dead in his tracks and locks eyes with one in particular, his expression a caricature of shock and horror.

"Lieutenant, what on earth is that well-endowed woman doing in such revealing clothing? Isn't there some kind of law against this level of immodesty?" Ichabod scoffs, clearly scandalized, and yet somehow, he's unable to tear his gaze away from the gigantic Victoria Secret poster. Abbie rolls her eyes, dragging him away from the decorated pink and red shop windows that display a cheeky collection of lacy lingerie on busty, stick-figure mannequins.

"People are a bit more open about that kind of stuff in this century. There's a lot I have to catch you up on…but first, you need a change of clothes," she explains, rolling her eyes and holding up her hand before Ichabod even has the chance to open his mouth.

"Don't even try it, Crane. We've already had this discussion. If you're going to play up the whole Oxford Professor cover story, you're going to need to blend in. And that means looking the part."

Ichabod scowls, presses his lips into a tight line, and reluctantly follows.

She takes him to JC Penney, Macy's, Kohl's, and Boscov's, pointedly avoids the juniors' shops (even though she's almost certain that his lanky frame could fit their sizes…and even though the potential of seeing Crane in skinny jeans is hilariously tempting) in favor of a more sophisticated, collegiate look. 

After an agonizing two and a half hours of changing rooms and piles of unwanted clothing (he had rejected nearly everything she'd given him) they finally leave the mall with shopping bags full of new jeans and work trousers, a collection of button-up collared shirts in various colors, a couple of sweaters for the winter, pajama pants, t-shirts, boxers, socks, boots, and a brand new, navy blue pea coat on sale at half the price. It was all pretty affordable, considering her rank in the force, but that didn't mean that Abbie wasn't a pro at bargain shopping, hitting nearly every clearance rack she could get her hands on. Ichabod had even commended her on her finds (after gaping at the original prices and threatening to start another Revolutionary War.) 

On the drive home, she blasts the radio and sings along, feeling relatively good about still having the rest of her Saturday off from work to do as she pleases. Ichabod complains about the noise level, jamming his fingers in his ears like a petulant child, which only serves to make Abbie turn the volume louder, mouthing, What? I can't hear you! Too busy enjoying the music!, and laughing at his glowering expression. Ichabod settles for lightly banging his forehead against the passenger seat window.

As they're getting out of the car, Ichabod turns to Abbie and leans across the arm rests and cup holders until he's invading her personal space. He tentatively places his hand on hers, and says, "Thank you for purchasing new belongings for me today. Though I might not always display it outwardly, I want you to know that I am grateful for all that you have done for me. I do not know how to repay you, as I am not currently in possession of any currency, or of the ability to obtain it via labor…but I do hope that I can find a way." 

His expression is soft, his pale, pink lips curved into a small smile, framed by a mess of disheveled, dark brown facial hair. Abbie is struck with a sudden urge to reach up and smooth it over with her fingertips. Instead, she clears her throat, gently takes her hand out of his, and says, "Don't worry about it, Crane. Just promise me you'll actually wear them."

Ichabod gives her a curt nod, and then jiggles the door handle, but it won't budge.

"Hang on," Abbie sighs. "This car's pretty old…sometimes the lock sticks." Without even thinking about it, she reaches across his lap and clicks the little plastic button, just as she'd done a thousand times whenever she'd spent the night out with friends. She feels him flinch and go very still beneath her the moment her arm brushes against his chest. Before she can say anything, he's bolting out of the car and then standing beside it, ramrod straight, with his arms awkwardly folded behind his back.

"What? You're gonna make me carry all your stuff inside?" she laughs, unlocking the trunk with her keys. That seems to stir something in him, and suddenly he's at her side, looping his arms through each of the shopping bag handles and tugging them out of the car as though they weigh nothing.

"Huh. Impressive. Those new boots are pretty damn heavy," she says, sifting through her key ring until she comes across the one to her apartment. She wonders for a moment if she should get a spare made for Crane, and then thinks better of it. It's not like he's staying for very long. Just for a little while, until he adjusts to life in this century. And then he'll get his own place. With Katrina, his sort-of-dead-but-not-really wife. Probably.

"You forget that I was in the army. War requires strength in a multitude of ways," he explains, shifting the weight of the shopping bags from one arm to the other as they ascend the stairs to her apartment.

"Fair enough," she says, dropping her keys onto the kitchen table and shrugging off her coat. "Now, here comes the hard part. I'm going to need to teach you how to do your own laundry, and you're going to need to listen very carefully so you don't break anything, got it?"

Ichabod gives Abbie a curt nod as he follows her into the communal laundry room at the lower level of the apartment complex, clutching a basket full of his brand new clothes. With a small, supercilious chuckle, Ichabod wonders how on earth scrubbing articles of cloth on a washboard and then hanging them out on a line to dry could've possibly gotten any more complicated than it had been back in his time.

Oh, he thinks as he surveys the massive room lined with a collection of black and white metal boxes. Apparently everything is operated by machinery these days.

Abbie takes the basket from him and sets it atop one of the washing machines, cranks the dial to heavy load cycle and selects the button for cold water. Ichabod tries to keep up, memorizing her moves. She explains how the washer works, shows him how to pour in the proper amount of detergent (the very notion of liquid soap still baffles him), and helps him load his new clothes into the machine. Then she explains how to use the dryers, rolling her eyes when Crane argues that drying them out on a line would be much simpler.

"Yeah, except we don't have a linen line and your clothes would get bird shit all over them," she says, arching her eyebrows. "Trust me, you'll get the hang of this, and it'll take much less time for your clothes to dry if you use the dryer."

"Hmm…looks like you're going to have to split it into two cycles," Abbie adds, sifting through his new wardrobe and piling a couple of pairs of jeans and work trousers into the washer after his sweaters and socks.

"So, I've got some errands to run, but they shouldn't take too long. I'll be back before you know it…but you're going to have to stay here while it finishes its cycle to make sure no one steals your stuff, okay?"

"Yes, of course," he says softly, his tone hesitant, disheartened.

"You okay to do the second load on your own?" she asks, concerned.

"I believe I have learned well from your example and should be able to complete the task without tremendous difficulty. I shall see you upon your return, Lieutenant."

Abbie smiles, her lips curving up at the corner in the way that they always do, whenever she's found something he's said or done particularly amusing, and makes for the door. Ichabod pushes the start button on the washing machine, carefully perches on a nearby plastic chair, and waits, his hands folded neatly in his lap.

Abbie returns home about an hour later, her arms full of grocery bags that she quickly dumps onto the kitchen table, massaging the grooves in her wrists left by the weight of the plastic handles digging into her skin. At the sound of her arrival, Ichabod bolts into the room, clutching a bundle of pink and purple stained clothing. He looks utterly beside himself, his expression a combination of outrage and anxiety as he approaches her.

"Lieutenant, look at what that cruel machine did to the new clothing!" he exclaims, holding out one of his formerly white button-up shirts as evidence. "I did everything just as you had explained. I turned the correct dials and pressed the right buttons and added the precise amount of magic cleaning liquid into the container, exactly as you had, but when I took them out of the machine, the lighter shades of clothing had turned different colors! That devil machine is to blame for ruining perfectly acceptable clothing!"

"Crane," Abbie says, her tone a mix of amusement and frustration.

"I am appalled by this century's advances, Lieutenant," he continues, "for they have ruined the kindness you had bestowed upon me, and now I am filled with guilt."

"Crane," she says, softer this time. "It's fine. Come on, I know just how to fix this."

After they put away the groceries, she makes him gather up all of the clothes that had turned different colors, and takes him down to the laundry room again. This time, she makes sure to explain how to properly separate whites and colors so that the dye from his red and purple button-up shirts won't turn his white ones pink. She reiterates the fact that cold water lets colors remain much brighter than they would if he'd used hot water (which he admits may have been his first mistake.) And then she throws in a cup of Tide with bleach, and Ichabod watches with wonder and curiosity as the magic solution turns back time.

She sits with him on the uncomfortable plastic chairs while he waits, the two of them sharing Mad Libs entries and Word Searches. When it's finished its final cycle, Abbie quickly takes his clothes out of the dryer and rushes upstairs with the basket. Crane, intrigued by Abbie's sudden enthusiasm, follows at her heels. She pushes open the door to his bedroom and proceeds to dump the pile of laundry out onto his bed.

"Want to know what one of the best feelings in the world is?" she asks, a cheeky smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Ichabod arches his eyebrows, and watches as Abbie takes a few steps backward, makes a running leap toward his bed, and plunges into the rumpled pile of clean clothing, just as she would autumn leaves. She takes one of his new sweaters and wraps it around her shoulders, reveling in its fresh-from-the-dryer warmth and coziness.

"Seriously. Best feeling. Come on, Crane," she says, waving him over. Ichabod stills for a moment, uncertain as to what the proper course of action in this situation would be. But curiosity outweighs propriety, and he slowly, carefully lies down on his back, sinking into the mattress and sighing as the exposed patches of his skin make contact with the warm clothing. Still using his sweater as a scarf, Abbie rolls over onto her side, wraps her arms underneath her head, and watches him. Ichabod closes his eyes and burrows into the cozy pile of clothing, a pleasant smile spreading across his lips.

Abbie makes a soft, low moaning sound at the back of her throat, and says, "It's like hugging a freshly-brewed cup of coffee." Ichabod opens his eyes, tilts his head to the side, and simply stares at her for a moment, his eyes tracing patterns across every feature of her face, burning them into his memory. Yes, he thinks, this is one of the best feelings in the world.

✨ Read Next Chapter | Chapter Masterlist ✨

You Always Want What You're Running From

Sleepy Hollow » Ichabbie

Title: You Always Want What You're Running From

Author: fairytalesandfolklore

Fandom: Sleepy Hollow (Masterlist)

Relationship: Abbie Mills x Ichabod Crane

AO3 Rating: Mature (a complete collection of author's notes, inspiration credits, content warnings and tags can be found on AO3)

Summary: When Abbie invites Ichabod to come live with her, the last thing she expects is for him to start feeling like home.

She'll tell herself, over and over again like a mantra, that it's because she feels indebted to him, that she feels bad for him, that it'll make their casework much easier if she can keep a constant eye on him, that it's convenient.  But really, it's because, in spite of everything, in spite of an impending apocalypse that only they, the unwilling witnesses, can prevent, he keeps her grounded, keeps her sane. For reasons she can't explain, she trusts him.  She hasn't trusted anyone like this since Corbin…and now, Crane is all she has left. In his company, she feels secure. Protected. Cared for. They've only known each other for a short while, and yet…Crane's company feels like home. Besides…how bad could living with a man from the 1700's truly be?

Read On AO3 | Read On Tumblr: Chapter 1 » Chapter 2 » Chapter 3

[yaut-jaknowit]

Story idea: pregnant human gets to the point where she just says fuck it and walks around their home in the nude because it's the only way she can be comfortable. Her yautja mate sees this as an absolute win.

Eyes Never Wander

Character: Wolf (Male Yautja) x AFAB!Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content

Word Count: 2208

Summary: In your homes with Wolf, you are currently pregnant. One thing you've come to learn about Yautja Prime: it's fucking hot and humid. No matter where you lived before could never prepare you for the humidity in the air or the heat that pelted you. With your pregnancy, it has only made that feeling worse. Your clothes would stick to you like a second skin. What's a way to fix that? Go naked around the house. Wolf doesn't mind one bit.

Author Note: Absolute win on both sides. And if you do this while not pregnant. You're about to become pregnant.

Masterlist

Ao3

Out of all the places for you to end up in, this isn’t where you had hoped. The average temperature was a few degrees too high for you to comfortably handle everyday. The humidity was killer as well. It drove you insane when nothing could get dry in a reasonable time. Plus, these aliens have never heard of a dryer. So, any closes you’ve worn take days to dry outside. Even then, they never feel completely dry.

Said clothes would stick to your skin and drive you insane with the over sensitivity of your skin. Everything grew too much for you to handle. In a place you weren’t used to; in home you hadn’t grown up in; with a man you loved so much. He’s the only reason you’ve stayed here, enduring such a harsh environment that wasn’t meant for such a soft human.

Let alone, one so pregnant.

One look at your closet had you closing the door with a slam. “Fuck that,” you murmured and stomped out of the bedroom. Your swollen belly made it evident to everyone what your condition was. No male dared to say a word to you. Yautja or not, do not mess with a pregnant creature. They’ll do everything in their power to protect themselves and their unborn children.

Your male Yautja lover hovers nearby when you go out to the vendors. Wolf will not let you out of his sight around so many people. Though, it was against their code to injure or harm a pregnant creature, he does not trust everyone. You are only human after all. Heavily pregnant and waddling around.

A sight you know he heavily enjoys. His eyes find you whenever you are around. He watches the evidence of his potent seed taking place in your ravish body. You know he likes observing you. He’s never felt this way before with another.

The sound of your fast foot steps catches the male Yautja’s attention. His head peered over the edge of the couch. His gaze immediately finding you marching through the house towards the kitchen. You feel his gaze, piercing through your skin. Nothing to hide the shape of your form moving through the dwelling he’s built.

In the kitchen, you snatched up a fruit that was similar to a dragon fruit mixed with a banana. Strange to look at but it was delicious to consume. When you were about to turn around, large hands gripped at your waist and tugged you flush with a warm, humid body. Despite hating the heat and humidity at the moment, you sighed and relaxed against Wolf’s body. His presences calms you in an instant.

Wolf leaned over your figure and let his tresses create a curtain around the two of you. “What a sight to see, love,” he purred and gripped your hips tighter. “What has caused this? Do you need help with the laundry?” You are stubborn and independent, even in your heavily pregnant state, and want to do everything yourself. Only asking for help when you are in a pinch.

Both of your arms wrapped around the back of his neck and tugged him down a little further. “No. No offence but I fucking hate this area. It’s hot, humid. My clothes won’t dry in less than a day. My clothes stick to my skin uncomfortably. I decided to say ‘fuck it’ and go without. I know you won’t complain.” You find a thin strain of his tress underneath the rest of them and toyed with it, mindlessly.

And boy, were you right.

To have his pregnant mate walking around their shared home, naked. He growled low in his throat and rubbed his jaw against the top of your head. His scent further rubbed into your skin. Though you were pregnant with his child, he loved to continuous mark you up, scenting for everyone to steer clear of you.

Wolf let his hands drift up your sides, skating his claws over your ribs then back down to palm at your thighs. “To see my mate, naked like the day they were born, pregnant because of my doing, walking around in our home… it’s a life I could only dream of.” His claws carefully grazed the tops of your thighs as he touched whatever part he wanted of you.

Then, his hands wandered back north and palmed at your swollen belly. The Yautja was large, towering over your form. His hands slid down a little more to the lip of your stomach and gently lifted up. Instant relief flooded you. You sighed heavily and rest as much as you could against him. Your mate held you there, letting the weight be his burden for the moment.

“This needs to be an everyday thing, Wolf,” you mumbled, voice going hoarse from the lack of power you gave it. Said Yautja chuckled. The vibrations running up your back and spreading out to the tips of your fingers.

“Yeah?” he teased, arms not faulting. “I can’t help it if my seed produces such large offspring.” You elbowed him in the side. He takes the hit without even making a sound.

“Yeah, this is all your fault. Mate can’t keep it down.” Wolf growled, arms flexing without moving your belly. The weight still in his hands.

“I didn’t hear you complaining each time I took you,” he rumbled back to you and lowered his mouth next to your ear. A purr starts in his chest and creates goosebumps. They run across your skin and cover your limbs.

You turned your head enough to send the Yautja a glare and a huff in tandem. Wolf’s purr deepened and helped you relax again, softening against his thick scales. The tress you were playing with, you decided to tug on it. Wolf tensed up, purr stuttering for a moment. “You may never hear a complaint from me in those moments, but you’ve heard me plenty of times now.”

With all the medical care you have access to at your mate’s status, you still can’t get rid of the aches and pains. Sweet, old Wolf does his best to draw baths, massage your aches, and feed you delicious foods. Only those could so far while dealing with a situation such as this.

Slowly, he lets your weight return to you. You whimpered but put your hands on top of his. Your fingers carded between his in a reassuring grasp. The texture of the scales on the back of his hands is stark to your own skin. You mindlessly run your thumbs up and down the sides of his palms.

“That may be true, but I’m beyond thankful for allowing for this opportunity to continue.” He knows if the pregnancy was too far of a risk, even above ten precent of serious injuries or death, he wouldn’t let you talk him into it. A healer had been brought in with the help of a scientist. They were able to give the facts to Wolf about this very situation before it happened. It helped calm his older heart, reassured your chances of passing were low.

Same with the strain it would put on your smaller frame. It took months upon months trying to convince him that this was safe, you would be fine in the end.

Not that he didn’t want to have a child with you. That’s one of the things he wanted most in his life. To see his permanent mate pregnant. The thought of losing you greatly outweighed that want though. It was simply brushed to the back and forgotten about.

Finally, he had broken about eight months ago and took out the implant he had requested you used. For both of your safeties. Weirdly enough, it was instantaneous that you had wound of pregnant that same night. It was as if your body knew it was the perfect time for this to happen.

Now, look at you. The happiest you’ve ever been with your mate, on the verge of starting a family.

Your eyes softly shut as you leaned towards his face and nuzzle against the softer, wrinkly scales on his cheek. “And I thank you for this. I know you are scared. I won’t deny that I’m not either.” You took a deep breath and opened your eyes to find him already watching you closely. “Considering this is hybrid baby. And the father is a towering alien that could pop my skull open like a grape.” Of course, he never would.

His purring deepened again. An upper mandible slowly reached out and caressed my cheek. “I won’t lie to you, little one. I am scared. Still scared. You are the most precious thing to ever walk into my life all those years ago.” He squeezes your fingers in a firm yet gentle grip. “To have this opportunity to create life with you is amazing.”

The two of you stayed like that, just enjoying the moment. The warmth of the other person. It was a beautiful, soft moment. Two lovers basking in their love for the other.

Until the ache in your ankles grew too much. As you took a breath in to speak up, Wolf was easily scooping you up and carrying you over to the couch. The lean Yautja sets you down on the cushiony couch.

Wolf goes over to where the dragon fruit-banana had been dropped and picks it up. His eyes roam over the piece of fruit and walks back over to the kitchen. A whine comes from you as he takes away your snack. Your bottom lip pushing out into a pout.

Said fruit is tossed into the trash can next to the counter. You gasped, ready to argue about throwing away a good piece of food. Then, he grabs another, fresh one and grabs some pink colored grapes. Wolf brings them to you spot on the couch and kneels down in front of you. The bowl of grapes is set off to the side. The banana-like fruit is held in front of you.

The moment you tried to grab it, he pulls it away and starts to peel it. Your hands drop back into your lap as you looked at him with a confused look in your eyes. It was easily peeled. Wolf offers it to you again. You attempted to take it from him but he pulls away enough for you to get the idea. You snorted with a small smile. Then, you leaned forward and take a bite from it.

For a fruit, it had a hint of spiciness to it. Strangely enough, you’ve grown a liking, a need for spicy stuff during your pregnancy. These types of fruit have made your life ten times easier to deal with this stupid craving all of sudden. Well, until your stomach decides it doesn’t like it for a week. That’s been fun to deal with.

He fed it to you until it was gone. The peel was set off to the side on a small side table. Next, was the bowl of grapes he knows you enjoy. Wolf holds them to you in an offering, allowing you the chance to take or deny the gift.

The lovesick smile on your face tells him everything he needs to know. Wolf sets the bowl down in your lap and plucks a grape up. Just like before, he holds it close to your mouth.

Gingerly, you leaned forward and took the piece from his pointer finger and thumb. Once biting past the thin skin of the fruit, it’s flavors burst across your tongue. You groaned and licked at your lips.

This continued until the bowl was empty and you were happy and well fed until lunch. Said bowl was set off to the side. Wolf shuffles closer to you and scoots his way between your legs. Before he touches you though, he looks into your eyes. No words were needed. Not after all this time with each other. You gave him a simple nod.

Wolf timidly rests the side of his head against your belly. His bright eyes were hidden. All his focus was narrowed down on the life growing inside of his wonderful mate.

Something underneath your skin nudged against his cheek. Wolf reared back, head snapping to face you. The expression he held was the most you’ve ever seen him make before. You laughed, head tilted back and savored the image for the rest of your life.

“I-I felt them kick,” he sputtered, astonished at the findings. You placed a hand on your belly and ran a thumb over the stretched skin.

“Yes, you do. They probably recognized that their father was close by. Isn’t that right?” you cooed towards your stomach. Another powerful kick had you wincing. “Alright, alright, thank you for letting me know you’re there.” For some reason, they always got kick shy when Wolf came to feel. This was his first time feeling it.

He placed his throat over the mound of your stomach and started to purr. The kicking instantly stopped. Shit, that works?! It worked on you too. You leaned back against the couch and looked down at him.

For someone who his species consider old, you would’ve never picked another male. Never.

[svetamillss]

Headcanons: household chores with them🩵

Featuring: Thanos( Su Bong) x Reader(f), Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f), Kang Dae Ho x Reader(f), Se Mi x Reader(f)

A/N: If you have ideas about what to write, you can always talk about it!

🩵🩵🩵

Thanos (Su Bong)🖤

Unfortunately, you can have quarrels literally every day because of this. After all, your boyfriend is still a "household disabled person". You have to force him to do something around the house, of course, heavy sighs and indignation will come in response.

Thank God that he at least tries to do it without mistakes.

It happens that you are at work, and he is at home all day. You ask him to wash the floors and do the laundry, of course he promises to do everything in the best possible way, but in the end he does nothing, because he forgot. That's when you get nervous and start yelling at him.

- Well, you promised to do it! You stayed at home all day! Why do I have to clean the house after work? - you said almost crying, because during the day you got very tired and hoped for your boyfriend.

- Don't cry! I just forgot, anything happens! I'll do everything now! - the guy answers you irritably.

- I'll do everything myself, mind your own business. - you were angry with him, so you didn't want to see his help, but he still followed you, taking you by the hand and sending you the room.

- It's my fault that I forgot. I'll do everything now. - and he really started to wash the floor and deal with the laundry.

Cho Hyun Ju💗

Living with this woman is a fairy tale. You immediately divided the responsibilities around the house. You took more cleaning, and she cooks (since food turns out very tasty). Sometimes you change tasks if some circumstances occur (some of you were detained at work, some of you got sick, and so on), but this absolutely does not bother you.

- Baby, don't make any plans for Sunday, please.

- No problem, but why? - you asked her.

- I want to do a general cleaning, and it will take a lot of time, but don't worry, after we do it, we'll watch the movie and eat something tasty. - she said, kissing you on the forehead.

Of course, you agreed, it wasn't a tragedy for you to do a general cleaning. After all, you will still spend the whole day with your Hyunnie.

Kang Dae Ho🩵

Living with this guy is a dream. After all, he was raised by four older sisters, so he is very attentive to you (well, straight by 1,000,000 percent). He is ready to do all the work himself.

- My love, I don't need to help, you'd better rest, you've been very tired.- he said when you volunteered to help him clean the closet.

- It's not fair! You're also very tired for a week, if I help, it will take much less time! - you were indignant, but it worked, although he agreed with a heavy sigh, but you rewarded him with a kiss on the lips.

Thanks to you, the cleaning took about two hours, so you decided to go for a walk outside, after all, the weather was very good.

Se Mi💋

When you moved in, you had a problem about who would do what household chores. After all, both of you weren't really good at cleaning or cooking.

- Maybe we'll do everything together then? Then we won't have any difficulties! - you suggested with a smile, to which your girlfriend gladly agreed.

- It's a great idea, sweet. We will look after each other, at the same time we will spend more time together.

Of course, you sometimes have small arguments, for example, that one of you did not clean up very well and seems to be a little lazy, but you solve them very quickly. After all, you have a good harmony in your relationship.

🩵🩵🩵

[writersdrug]

Training for Two

Chapter 3. New Trails

Masterlist

Summary: You and Riley take the beaten path to defeat boredom. Simon realizes that the seed of his new obsession has been planted.

Warnings: mild cursing, obsessive behavior

Simon had never told you how long he'd be gone - which was fine, your flat was only a twenty-minute drive from his home, should you need to do laundry or get more soap. You had some freelancing logo-design work you could focus on in your downtime, and Simon had been gracious enough to leave a note on the coffee table with the wifi password. Truth be told, you imagined this would feel like a holiday: no more shitty bosses. You were your own boss, here. You could make your own schedule, as long as you made time for Riley.

You soon discovered, after moving into Ghost's house, that it was very much not a vacation. The interior of his home was so barren that it made you feel like you had been sent to an asylum. On your first day there, you managed to get a bit of freelance work done; after that, you tried watching the telly, but you couldn't drown the heavy restlessness in the back of your mind.

You decided to phone a friend.

"What's Riley like?" Leslie said through the phone, which was tucked under your ear.

"Military dog." You replied. You were lying on the floor next to Riley, stroking her fur as her head rested on your stomach. "So proper, I've never seen anything like it. You know- when I made breakfast today, I dropped some food on the linoleum- she didn't bat an eye. Girl just watched."

"That's amazing... you know Donald would have run to it like it was the first meal he'd been fed in years."

You laughed, making Riley's head bounce on your abdomen. "Mum has got to stop feeding them real food..."

"What about the client?" Leslie said, changing the subject. "Simon, was it? What's he like?"

"Honestly?" You began, scratching between Riley's ears. "A decent guy, don't get me wrong - but bland. Gruff. His apartment is, too."

"Just like ya mum always said." She snickered. "Can I see?"

You sighed. "Nah, I never checked if it was ok to bring people over. Not sure if he'd appreciate me giving you a tour. But I'll ask next time if you can visit."

"That's fair..." You heard her shuffling around on the other end of the line. "Well listen babes, I should get back to work. Got five left on my lunch break."

You groaned at the prospect of having to be alone in Simon's barren home again. "Alright... still on for this Thursday?"

"You know it! Nina's coming too."

You grimaced. "Whoop-tee-doo..."

"Oh, c'mon, I'll make sure she's civil. Love ya."

"She'd better be. Love you!"

The call ended with a click, and you let the phone slide from your shoulder with a sigh. You stared at the ceiling, running through what you could possibly do. You'd already had a shower at your flat before coming here, you'd done plenty of work...

Riley tilted her head up to look at you, sensing your frustration. You looked back down at her.

"What d'you and Simon do all day?" You asked.

She sighed and looked away.

Maybe it was time for a walk.

"Alright, Riley!" You said, pocketing your phone and sitting up. She scrambled up at the sudden movement; her eyes followed your every move as you stood, her stare expectant and excited.

"Fancy a walk?" You asked.

She whined and yapped, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

You chuckled. "C'mon, then - before you and I both start going insane."

On your way to the closet to fetch her leash, she had nearly knocked you down to beat you there. You huffed, leaning down to grab your shoes and tug them on. She sat (im)patiently and watched, her tail slapping against the wooden floor.

"Alright, alright..." You laughed, grabbing her leash and latching it onto her harness. She obediently trotted to the front door and sat, waiting for you. You opened the door and stepped outside, confused when the leash tugged in your hand. You looked back inside and saw that Riley hadn't moved from her seat on the floor. She looked at you, ears forward and eyes eager as she waited for... something.

You looked at her, puzzled. "What's wrong, girl?"

She whined, pointing one foot up and thumping her tail against the floor.

Oh, right. Military dog.

"Okay, Riley." You said clearly, and she happily trotted out the door. You chuckled, locking the deadbolt behind you and beginning the much needed walk. She stuck right by your side, never passing you nor falling behind.

For the kind of gruff, admittedly shady man that Simon was, you noticed that he lived in a pretty nice area. If you told your mum where he lived, she'd blow a cap out of jealousy - the houses were neatly lined down the street, each one with a driveway and a small garden bed underneath the living room windows. Simon's was noticeably bare - Christ, even his grass was thinner than the other neighbors', how does one manage that?

You eyed his empty garden bed as you passed it. You wondered if he would let you plant a few things... just to liven up the drabness. A couple of Hostas, maybe some African Violets... you knew he wouldn't want too much colour, but he definitely needed something to brighten his home. Currently, it stuck out like a sore thumb against the other houses. Not to mention, it would give you something to slice through the boredom of staying here.

Eventually, the sidewalk led to the edge of a small patch of woods. A bridge stretched over the creek, which then led to a longer, winding path through the trees. You came to a halt, reading the sign next to the trail.

"Po-wee-hee-co park..." You mumbled and Riley stared at you with her tongue hanging from the side of her mouth. "Poeheko Park? You ever been here?"

She looked between you and the trail, sniffing the air. She licked her lips and whined.

"Suppose not, Simon's only ever dragged you around the block a few times, huh?"

She eyed the trail warily, but you could see her eyes brimming with eagerness and interest. You chuckled, reigning in her leash and starting over the bridge. "Time for an adventure!"

Simon sat stoically on the heli, eyes fixed on the wall across from him. His palms rested on his thighs, fingers splayed. He appeared calm and collected, focused on the mission that Priced had debriefed not too long ago.

Except, the mission couldn't have been further from his mind. He was thinking about you and Riley. We're you giving her enough attention? That was a dumb question; clearly you knew how much attention a dog needed. You'd done this before... but had you ever worked with a dog that had certain needs and medications? You never mentioned it during the interview, and he didn't remember to ask. What if you couldn't see the signs when Riley's pain was flaring up? What if you had forgotten that she needed pain medication?

He thought about texting you - but he quickly shut the thought down. He'd reserved texting for emergencies only, and he knew you were good at your job. There wasn't a moment of your life you hadn't spent around dogs, of course you would take perfect care of Riley.

"Honin' in, LT?" Soap's voice echoed through the coms as he took the seat opposite from Simon. He was relaxed, as if this was just another Friday for him - well, Simon supposed, it was.

"Always." Simon replied gruffly, focusing back on the mission at hand. He cleared his throat and flexed his fingers, trying to keep a cool composure.

"How's Riley doin'?" Soap asked. "Know I jus' seen 'er a few days ago, but- ye finally cave n' get someone to pet sit?"

Simon grunted. "'Course. Not gonna leave 'er alone that long, it'd be torture."

"Who'd ye get?"

"What's it to you?"

"Secret service? Ye snag one of the Royal Guards fer the job?"

"Jog on, Soap." Simon warned with a serious look, and Soap raised his hands in defense.

He couldn't tell Johnny about you. A fierce, possessive feeling in his chest told him not to. He knew Johnny had a thing for young, pretty things like you, and he refused to let you fall victim to his desires. In fact, he hated the thought of it.

But- who was he? Why was he being so protective over someone he barely knew? You were an adult, perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Why should Simon cockblock you and Johnny? So what if he wanted to shag you?

Mentally, he shook his head. No. Never. He'd lock you in his house if it meant keeping Jonny away from you. Even if Simon wasn't anything more than your client, he wasn't going to allow Johnny to get close to you. It would be too weird. You're his, after all.

...

Fuck.

He sighed and adjusted his position in his seat. You and Johnny didn't even know each other, for Christ's sake. He was overthinking all of this. You'd probably never even meet his team, why would you need to? You only ever have reason to spend time in his house, not on base. You just watch Riley, make breakfast in his kitchen, sleep on his couch, maybe his bed, if you're with the dog... using his bathroom, his shower...

He scowled at himself. Maybe hiring you was a huge mistake. You were too distracting.

Next ->

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[delusional-day-dreamer]

Reflections - e.e

‣ emily engstler x reader

‣ wc: 2958

‣‣ synopsis: emily had no choice but to bail on your planned day together, so you decide to get a little revenge, leaving your reflection as the only thing on her mind all day.

‣‣‣ a/n: sorry this took SO LONG to release, i was a little nervous to write smut for the first time so hopefully this isn't too bad! i'm still working on more fics and hopefully i can still follow my plan to release one a day!

You adjusted the position of your body in front of the mirror, lifting Emily's shirt to reveal just a sliver of your boobs as you posed for your selfie in your lacy thong. You weren't posing for a social media post or anything of the sort, you were just trying to torture your poor girlfriend a little bit.

The two of you had planned a day-long date today, as she wasn't supposed to go in for practice or any sort of team events, but her coaches had changed their mind, calling the team early in the morning for mid-day practice, followed by a workout session, ice baths and checkups with their athletic trainer, and a film session to end their packed day.

Unfortunately for you, the text had come in during an early morning makeout session, causing Emily to leave the comfort of your bed to eat breakfast, get ready, and head out for her long day. Leaving you a needy, pleading mess for her in the process. You knew the change in plans wasn't her fault, nor was it in her control.

You were just seeking revenge for the fact that she chose to leave you orgasmless before heading out, promising to finish what the two of you had started later in the evening.

Grinning as you finally got the perfect shot, you sent off a text to Emily, containing both the selfie and a short text that read, can't wait for you to get back Em. Now, all you had to do was wait for her response, which you knew wouldn't come until a little later, when she finally got the chance to check her phone during a water break.

To your delight, Emily's response came in sooner than you had expected, not even ten minutes after you had sent the text, your phone pinged with a new text. you better find a way to wait, don't you dare touch yourself without me.

You knew that was one of Emily's "rules", if she wasn't away for a game, your pleasure was hers and hers only. And usually, that was always enough for you, as you had no need to get yourself off either by hand or with any of the toys hidden in your shared closet, Emily was always there to take care of you. But today, you found yourself struggling to hold off on relieving the deep ache that had settled in your core.

You swear you did everything in attempt to pass by the time that Emily was gone. You ate breakfast, dusted nearly every surface in your apartment, wiped down every mirror, scrubbed down the bathrooms, ate lunch, cooked dinner for you two to enjoy later, took an everything shower, and finally settled down in on your bed to watch t.v. around four in the afternoon, knowing Emily would be home before six.

Just as your eyes began to shut, drifting off into a light sleep, you heard the front door open as Emily entered the apartment, dropping the keys in the little ceramic bowl you had bought for the apartment and taking off her shoes, walking towards your bedroom.

You shot up in bed, eager for Emily to walk through the door so you could capture her in your grasp and lure her into bed, finally able to relieve the throbbing between your legs. She greeted you as she entered the room, dropping her practice bag over by the laundry hamper before making her way to you, not that you were paying attention.

You leaned in and grabbed the back of her neck, smashing your lips onto hers the second she was close enough. She climbed onto the bed with you, laying her body over yours as you continued to make out, her tongue intertwined with yours as her hands moved up and down, from kneading your braless tits to squeezing your waist, the two of you just couldn't get enough of each other.

You whined as she pulled away from your kiss, she chuckled before ducking her head down to kiss across your jaw to your ear, "missed me that much baby?" She questioned smugly as she moved her lips under your ear, alternating between sharply nipping at your skin, open mouthed kisses, and soothing licks over the trail of reddish-purple marks she left behind.

"Please Em, don't tease. Been waiting for you all day," you begged, arching your chest into her, hoping she would get the hint. She popped her lips off your neck with a smirk, gazing at your needy expression before moving her hands to pull her t-shirt off your body, uncovering your perky nipples, begging for her touch.

Her lips began a trail of kisses, licking, biting, and sucking her way down from the base of your neck to your chest, leaving hickeys at the very tops of your breast before finally latching her mouth onto your right nipple, her hand coming up to twist and tug at the other.

Your hands flew to her ponytail, gripping it as you moaned at her teasing, urging her head to continue its descent down to where you needed her the most. Thankfully, she continued to kiss down your abdomen, stopping at the edge of your lace thong to nip at the fat of your hips. She continued to tease you, leaving hickeys around the perimeter of your inner thighs as you whimpered the arousal continuing to pool within your panties, yet Emily purposely avoided your throbbing pussy.

“God Em, please I can’t take it anymore, need you so bad,” you propped yourself up on your elbows to look down at her as you pleaded, your mind far too hazy to feel embarrassed of how desperate you sounded. She propped herself, perching herself to the perfect position in between your thighs as she finally ran her fingers up and down your lace-covered slit, feeling the wetness that had begun to soak through.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this baby,” she hummed, “Wanna try something different with you, that okay?” She asked as she pulled your thong down, a strand of your slick sticking to the fabric. "You're this wet for me and I haven't even touched you yet baby," Emily rose to lean back on her knees, moving her hands to rest upon your thighs.

“Please Em, do anything, I just need you,” you whispered back, sitting up as you watched her rise from the bed, walking over to the floor length mirror you had taken the picture in. She picked it up and adjusted it so that it leaned against the wall in front of your bed, such that you were now gazing at your own naked reflection.

Your attention, however, was quickly drawn back to Emily, who had now stripped her t-shirt and sweatpants off her body, leaving her in just a plain black sports bra and a matching pair of boxers. She walked back over to the bed, settling against the headboard and planting her feet flat on the bed to take a seat behind you.

"Come here baby," she requested, and with such a low, sultry tone, how could you resist for even a second? You quickly turned onto your hands and knees, crawling up the expanse of your California king bed to kneel in between her thighs, capturing her lips once again.

You took the chance to tease Emily back a bit, taking control of the kiss by biting and dragging out her bottom lip before slipping your tongue back into her mouth, moaning eagerly into her as your hands tugged at the straps of her sports bra.

She didn't allow you to continue for long, grabbing your waist and manhandling your back into her front before you could take off her bra. She traced her hands down your body, grabbing the back of your thighs to rest them over her bent legs, spreading you open in front of the mirror.

"You see how wrecked you are for me?" She mumbled into your ear, you watched as her tattooed hands kneaded at your hickey covered tits, pinching and tugging at your nipples once again. "Mhm," you nodded, biting your bottom lip to hold back the moans threatening to spill from your lips.

Emily, however, wouldn't accept that as an answer. She grabbed your jaw firmly with her right hand, using her thumb to pull your lip out in between your teeth. "None of that tonight ma, I wanna hear you properly, whether your answering me," she spoke softly, beginning to suck hickeys into the unmarked side of your neck, "swearing," she flicked her tongue out to soothe a particularly rough area, the skin already turning purple, "or moaning my name, begging me for more," she whispered into your ear.

Your brain turned to mush at her words, which meant you didn't notice how her left hand dropped from massaging your breast to reach your cunt as she was whispering filthy things into your ear, turning you on even more. A borderline pornographic moan tore from the back of your through as Emily finally pressed her middle and ring fingers onto your clit, rubbing small circles at first.

You threw your head back against her shoulder as your body arched against her, desperate moans spilling from your lips as your hips moved upwards to search for more friction in her touch. Her right hand wrapped around your waist, holding down your bottom half before she quickly lifted her fingers from rubbing circles on your clit to lightly slapping it, not nearly hard enough to hurt, but the pressure was enough for your head to shoot up at the sparks it sent through your core.

"I want you to watch yourself in the mirror, you stop looking and I stop touching you, okay baby?" Emily insisted, her fingers only moving down from your clit to trace your folds after you agreed, dragging her fingers to collect the arousal dripping from your entrance back up to your clit, this time adding more pressure onto your clit.

Your body squirmed in her hold, your mouth emitting a near constant stream of desperate whines, begging Emily for more. "C'mon ma, tell me what you want from me," she murmured, her breath warm against the bruised skin of your neck. "Fuck me, please Emily, need you to fuck me so bad I," your words were cut off by a guttural moan leaving your mouth as she plunged two fingers into your sopping heat, the prolonged foreplay had made you so wet she slipped in without any discomfort.

Your eyes fluttered, as your body melted into hers, illegible pleas, swears, and cries of ecstasy continuously fell from your lips, all the while maintaining eye contact with Emily through the mirror. Her fingers increasing their speed as she plunged a third into you, continuing to pump in and out of you, curling into you with such precision you preened her grasp, rolling your hips forward to meet her thrusts. In the process, the heel of her palm brushed against your clit, causing you to writhe in her arms, all the while Emily ducked her head down to suck at your sweet spot.

Her name fell from your lips repeatedly, the coil in your abdomen was so close to snapping, you could almost taste how close your orgasm was. Sensing this from how tight your cunt was squeezing her fingers, she moves her unoccupied hand up to your nipples, roughly tugging at them while she moved her lips up to whisper filth into your ear.

"Just like that baby... see how pretty you look while taking my fingers, my dirty little slut getting off on being finger fucked in front of a mirror, thought about fucking you like this all day... such a good girl for me," her continuous praise and encouragements, combined with the sensation of her playing with your tits, her fingers curling so deep inside of you, and her palm providing friction to your clit was all too much for you to withstand any longer.

Your moans turned into near screams as you finally came, your orgasm hitting you full-force as your legs shook on top of Emily's, full body shudders coursing through you as Emily continued to fuck into you at the same pace, insistent on having you ride out the full extent of your orgasm.

As your orgasm finally began to subside, your body going limp against hers, Emily slowed the pace of her fingers until they stilled within you. To distract you from the emptiness she knew you felt as she withdrew her fingers from your soaking cunt, she peppered kisses along the side of your face and placed a few gentle pecks on you lips accompanied with soft praises as you tuned to face her.

She brought her fingers up to your lips, shoving them into your mouth so you could clean off your own slick, humming as she felt your tongue swirling around her fingers. After popping your mouth off her fingers, you removed your legs from on top of hers, twisting your body around in her grip to face her as your hands reached upwards to cup her face, pulling her mouth down to yours in a searing kiss, all the while your knee pressed into her core.

You were acutely aware of the fact that you hadn't even touched Emily yet, and as stubborn as she was, you could feel the throbbing of her pussy against your knee, and you would be damned if you didn't get her off after the earth-shattering orgasm she gave you.

Your lips continue to move roughly against hers, attempting to establish dominance and only separating when you tugged her sports bra over head. Your lips met the soft skin of her neck, peppering gentle kisses as you knew you couldn't leave hickeys on such a visible area just two days before her next game.

You continued placing kisses to her chest, circling her nipple with your tongue as right hand reached down to cup her warm cunt through her boxers, forcing an airy moan from her. You were able to feel through the fabric how aroused she had gotten from making you cum.

You paused your ministrations to retract your hands from her body, moving to grab at the waistband of her boxers, the only material still separating the two of you. You looked up at her glazed over eyes, nonverbally checking for her consent. Emily's past relationships and hookups always had the same dynamic, she gave a lot more than she received, if they even made an effort to reciprocate her pleasure.

With you, that was never the case. You were just as concerned with Emily's satisfaction as she was yours, despite her having the more dominant personality, you almost never allowed her to leave without at least one orgasm.

With her approval and the slight lift of her hips, you discarded her underwear, laying down on your stomach and spreading open her thighs to be eye-level with her glistening cunt. "All this just from watching my reflection Em?" You teased, your breath warm against her inner thighs as you sucked and nipped at the skin closest to her center, knowing no one would be able to see the bruises left there.

"Yeah baby, it's all for you," she breathed our, grabbing your tousled hair into a makeshift ponytail, using it to guide you closer to her sopping pussy. Even now, she still Deciding she had waited long enough, you dove your tongue into her, licking a long stripe from her entrance up to her throbbing clit, causing her to throw her head back into the headboard as she moaned deeply.

"Right there ma, just like that," she encouraged as you devoured her, running your tongue through her folds to lap at her leaking arousal like a woman starved. You gather her wetness to move up and press your tongue flat against her clit, sucking and lapping at her bud. "Oh fuck baby, doing so good for me," her hips moving up to meet your mouth.

She groaned loudly as you began to hum against her clit, holding her hips tighter as moved down to her entrance again, dipping your tongue to curl into her as your nose moved against her clit, her orgasm quickly approaching from the friction you provided. You moved back up to her clit, knowing just what she needed to be pushed over the edge.

You latched onto her nub, sucking and slightly grazing her with your teeth, humming and pressing into her as she came with a throaty moan, pushing your head deeper into her to draw out as much of her orgasm as possible.

You continued to suck at her for a few moments after, slowly reducing your touch to a few soft kitten licks as her body went limp against the headboard, relaxing fully as you detached your lips from her, rubbing your hands up and down her thighs.

Her thumb wiped the slick that covered your lips and dripped down your chin, grinning at your wrecked state. “Worth the wait ma?” Her smug but somehow genuine demeanor took in the blissed out expression on your face, exhausted from your previous activities.

“Well worth Em, should mess with you more often if this is what happens,” you beamed, only half joking. “Yea right, try that again and I won’t be so nice next time, I could barely make a single shot at practice,” she grumbled, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on your lips, crawling off the bed to grab a washcloth from your joint bathroom. Your reflection had truly served you well today.

[yamumsyadadd]

mariquita

“Y/n? I want to introduce you to some people. This is Alexia and this is Jenni. They have adopted you and will be taking you home in a few days. Does that sound good?” 

“Home?” 

“Yeah, Pequeño, home with us.” The tall dark haired one spoke. She had a nice smile, calm, safe. The other one looked how you felt uncomfortable, anxious, wishing the world would swallow you whole. 

Over the next few days, Jenni and Alexia had more visits to the group home, eventually taking you home to your new home. It was an apartment, near the beach. It was light and airy, clean and tidy, but not lacking warmth, photos of them on the walls, other people, people you could only assume was their family. 

“Do you want to see your room cari?” You nodded shyly, following their lead up the hallway. 

“This is the bathroom” pointing to a door on the left, “this one is the laundry, you won’t need to worry about that though.” Oh but you would. How else would you have clean clothes?

“That one at the end of the hall is mine and Jenni’s room. You can come in at anytime okay? This, this is your room.” 

It was big. A big bed in the corner of the room with clean, soft bedding. A bookcase in the other corner, a toy box and a desk. 

“All by myself?”

“What?”

“I sleep by myself?” 

“Yes cari. This room” Jenni motions around, “this is all for you. We will need to go shopping and buy some clothes for you. We can buy you more toys or books. Whatever you want.” 

“No thank you. I have my bag.” A sad look was shared between the two adults while you walked around   Observing but never actually touching anything. 

“Do you want to watch TV? Jenni is going to make dinner. We can watch TV or play? Whatever you want.”

“I can help clean? I’m good at that. You can show me where everything is and I’ll clean.” 

“No y/n. You don’t need to do anything like that here. We are the adults, you’re a child. You get to be a child here okay?” 

You didn’t believe a word coming out of Alexia’s mouth. Adults say things like that all the time but then change their mind, it would only be a matter of time before they did. 

Secretly, you took note of where everything went. Where the dishwasher tablets were, the laundry detergent, the mop and vacuum. You were sure going to clean up whatever mess you made. A child is to be seen and not heard right? 

That’s exactly what you did, after every shower, after every meal, after reading or playing the next thing you would do is clean up. You kept everything exactly where it was when you came so neither Jenni or Alexia would get mad. 

—————————————————————————

When they took you to training for the first time it was very overwhelming. Jenni was excited, alexia was more cautious. You were much like alexia, shy, introverted and uncomfortable in big crowds. 

“Amor, stop. She looks scared, just let her calm down a little?” Alexia pulled Jenni aside after trying to introduce yet another teammate to you. The way you picked your fingers and your eyes were wide with fear, she could tell you were uncomfortable. 

It didn’t get any better over the next few weeks and ultimately they both decided it would be better if Alexia’s mami looked after you. That was horrible. The entire time you were there you cried, afraid they wouldn’t come back for you, so much so that you made yourself sick and Eli called them to come back. 

“Hey, hey, Cari. It’s okay. Jenni and I are here.” The scene they walked into broke their heart. You were sat in a corner, rocking yourself back and forth covered in your own sick. Alexia didn’t care, she pulled you into her arms, rocking yourself side to side. 

“She thought you left her, for good.” Eli spoke up, rubbing a hand up and down alexia’s back as she soothed you. 

—————————————————————————

The next few months went the same, while you came out of your shell at home and around a few of the girls, as soon as it was a bigger crowd you retreated. Climbing into either alexia’s lap or Jenni’s and shoving your head up their shirts. Not once did that complain even though you were stretching out their shirts. 

Slowly though, the family that was built started getting ripped apart. Alexia and Jenni tried hard not to fight in front of you but you could hear them when you were up late at night cleaning your room and secretly reading. 

“They fight a lot.” You said to no one in particular as you licked your ice cream. 

Leila and Mapi shared a look over your head, “who do pequeño?” 

“Mami and mama. They think I’m sleeping but I’m not. I hear them. I bet they are fighting right now and that’s why you took me for ice cream before dinner. That’s not allowed.” A silent pause happened before you spoke up again, “Ice cream is bad for adults, mami says you have to run extra when mama eats it.” 

They both realised how perceptive you were. You were quiet, but even at the age of six you knew when things were wrong and boy were they wrong. 

Mami and mama kept fighting and you kept getting sent with Tia Alba or Abuela but on the extra bad days it was Leila and Mapi. Leila and Mapi were the best, always giving you ice cream, buying you the colourful cold drinks and the little toys from the arcade but it added to your mami and mamas fights. 

“You’re not taking her with you Jennifer! Her whole life is here!” 

“Then what do you want me to do? Abandon her with you?” Their fight had been going for a long time, you were supposed to be in your room playing with the new barbies that Mapi got but the yelling was being too loud that you couldn’t think about it anymore. So there you were, sat in the hallway listening to them fight. 

When they finally stopped was when they noticed you, hands over your ears and tears streaming down your face, Alexia all but ran to you, scooping you up and laying you in bed. She stayed with you all night, and many more nights after that. 

From that day on they weren’t fighting with you there, but you knew they were still fighting. When Leila came and got you from the crèche that the club set up for you, you knew something was very wrong. Leila’s face was red, like yours after you cried. 

“What’s wrong lele?” You cupped her face as she bent down to hug you. 

“Nothing princesa. Let’s get some ice cream yeah?” You nodded excitedly, waving goodbye to the carers and pulling Leila out of the room. 

It took a few weeks to find out what the problem was. Your mami was crying a lot and sleeping in bed with you instead of with mama. You overheard some of the bigger girls talking, “Jenni’s going to Paris.” You knew who Jenni was, obviously, your mama but you didn’t know what Paris was. 

So when you got home that night, naturally you asked but that caused yet another argument. 

“Mami didn’t tell me! Don’t yell at her no more! It was pats who said it but she didn’t know I was there cause I wasn’t supposed to be.” You stood up on your chair at the dinner table, trying to make them stop fighting. 

“Cari, sit down.” Alexia motioned for you to sit but you crossed your arms and frowned. 

“Stop fighting and I will.”  

“Fine.” So you sat. Arms still crossed and glaring at your mami. 

“pequeño, I am going to Paris, but I won’t be gone forever.” 

“Just for a sleepover?”

“No pequeño, for a little longer than a sleepover. You know how mami and mama play for Barça?” You nod, of course you knew that. “Well, I’m going to go play for a club in Paris, like Barça.” 

“Are they better than Barça?” You heard your mami scoff. 

“No, maybe with my help they will be.” 

“Are you going to get a new mami and new me?”

“No! Never pequeño. No one can replace you or mami. And I’ll come visit, and mami will bring you to me whenever we can. Okay?” 

“No.” 

“No?” Jenni shared a look with Alexia. Unsure how to proceed. 

“You’re going to a new place, a new team with new lele and Mapi and-and that means a new me and mami.” You pushed your plate as hard as you could, watching it slide off the other side of the table and then you ran as fast as your little legs could take you. Climbing into the box in your wardrobe to hide. 

“Cariño?” Your mamis voice was loud. She knew your favourite hiding spot and that you’d be in there now. “Mi vida. Can you come out please?” 

A tiny “No” was heard, muffled by the extra blankets that were kept in that box. 

“I need to talk to you but I can’t do it when you’re hiding.” Slowly you came out, not fully removing yourself from the box, just your head. 

“Mama isn’t going to replace you okay? There is only one y/n Hermoso-Putellas and that’s you.” 

“But-“

“No buts bebé. Mama is feeling a little upset, do you think you can go talk to her? Cheer her up?”

You got out quickly, leaving behind a trail of blankets and one of your socks, barreling into your mama and apologising over and over again. 

—————————————————————————

That’s how the next year went, you’d go every few weeks with Tia Alba to Paris or mama would come visit you, but she never slept in her bed with mami and they never talked about anything but you. Abuela said it was because mami and mama weren’t together anymore but they still loved you all the same. 

Then mama came back to Spain but not back to you or mami. It made you both sad. Because you started big school, you barely got to see mama and that made you have a lot of big feelings. 

You made mami cry a lot because you weren’t very nice to her and Abuela said it hurt her feelings but no one ever asked about your feelings. Lola asked though, after you ran away from mami she caught you like she catches the balls. 

“Mi Princesa, what are you doing running away from your mami like that?” Her spare hand coming to tickle your stomach. 

“I don’t like her!” 

“Woah that’s not a nice thing to say, is it?” You shook your head and frowned. “Wanna tell me why?” 

“She made mama leave. Mama leaved me and mami and now she won’t come home. They are supposed to kiss like used to but they won’t no more.” 

Unbeknownst to you, Alexia and Jenni were both behind you, listening to everything you said. 

“No bebé! No, Mami didn’t make me leave. I promise. Mami and I love each other still but in a different way.” 

“Not Like tia alba and Mapi? More like me and lele?” You asked, slightly confused. 

“Yes, just like that. Wait alba and Mapi?” 

“They was kissing each other like you and mami used to when we got ice cream.” 

Lola put you down, realising that you’d just shared a very big secret that Alexia now needed to go deal with. They agreed you would spend the night at the hotel with Jenni before she left again the following morning. 

Mami, Tia Alba and Abuela had a fake Christmas to celebrate with you since you were going to Madrid to be with mama and her family. Madrid was a long way away, Mami said it equaled 3 naps in the car or 1 nap on the plane. 

Mamas family was very loud. Almost too loud but mama made sure that you weren’t overwhelmed. You got lots of presents, even ones from Mami even though she gave you some already. There was a lot of food and a lot of singing. Everyone was very happy, and you happily fell asleep curled up in your Abuelos lap in front of the fire. 

—————————————————————————

It was a random Wednesday when mama picked you up from school. You were excited, but also confused. If she picked you up it was on a Friday and that was rare. 

“Where’s Mami?” 

“Oh I see how it is. You’re gotten too big for me huh?” 

“Don’t be silly mama. Mami usually gets me on wednesdays.” 

“Well Pequeño, I have a surprise for you!” 

You felt all giddy inside, you were just a kid after all and surprises were fun. She loaded you into the car and drove until you reached a building that looked like the one you and mami lived in. 

“This is my new apartment bebé, yours too. You’ll have your own room like at mamis and I’ll be right across from you.” 

“But you live in Madrid?” 

Jenni got down on her knees, “I’m moving back here. To be with you” she bumped your nose with her finger, pulling you into her, “and I’ll be playing at Barça again so we need to get you a New Jersey.”

“You and mami will kiss again! That was my birthday wish and it came true!” The smile on Jenni’s face was immediately wiped off. She didn’t have the heart to break it to you, so she let you continue on rambling about how Nala and you would have so much fun here and mami would love it too. 

The first night you stayed at mamas new apartment you cried and cried until you passed out in her bed. You didn’t understand why Mami and Nala weren’t coming and why Mami didn’t kiss mama goodbye like the past times. 

Alexia’s heart broke into even more pieces when Jenni sent her a photo of you curled up on her chest, your hand gripping her shirt for dear life and the obvious wet patches. Going through a break up was hard at the best of times, but adding a child who didn’t understand into the mix? Worse. Every time you asked if your mama could pick you up from school or come to your little kickers game, she had to explain again that Jenni couldn’t. 

—————————————————————————

The next three years continue on as the others. You’re getting better at school and football, much to Mapi and lele delight you love being a defender. The one thing that confuses you though is sometimes your Mami and mama kiss and then sometimes they don’t even look at each other. Abuela says they are silly and tia alba says bad words. 

You don’t cope well much with new people, that was proven when Tia Alba bought a new girl to Sunday dinners and when she tried to kiss Alba, you threw a shoe at her. 

“Oye, y/n that’s not nice. You do not throw things at people.” Your Mami had grabbed your arms, stopping you from running away. 

“No! She’s being mean to Mapi. She’s only allowed to kiss Mapi like you are only allowed to kiss Mami!” 

“Pequeño-“ 

“Let go of me! Mami said no kissing anyone else but her! Tia Alba is the same! Only Mapi and Mami!” You finally got out of her grasp enough to push her over, running upstairs to Abuelas room and climbing under the bed. 

“Let me Ale.” Alba gave her sister a sympathetic smile before turning to follow you. “Pequeño?” Silence. “Pequeñoooooo? Come here Mariquita.” She grabbed your ankle and pulled you out. You were both sporting matching pouts. 

“Mapi will be sad. You can’t do that to Mapi!” 

“Mi vida, who told you I can only kiss Mapi?” 

“Mama.” You crossed your arms and stamped your foot, “mama is always right.” 

“What else did your mama say hm?” 

“That Mami isn’t allowed to kiss anyone else but her.” 

“Is your mama allowed to kiss others?” 

“Yes. She has a special friend. I don’t like her though because whenever she comes I have to go to my room and Andy barks at her.” 

“Does your Mami know?” 

“No mama said that only she’s allowed to have special friends and Mami isn’t.” 

“Right. Well, Mapi and I were special friends, but we aren’t anymore. You know Ana who plays with Mami and mama?” You nod your head, you do know Ana. She’s very tall and blonde, she helps you tie lele’s laces together too. “She’s mapis special friend now and Judith is mine. I really like Judith and I want you to like her too.” 

“You like her more than me?” 

“No. There’s no one I’d ever like more than you Mariquita.” Alba started leaving sloppy kisses all over your face before carrying you downstairs to you Mami. You had to apologise to Judith and give her a hug but then she agreed to play with you so you were happy. 

You didn’t notice the conversation between Tia Alba, Abuela and Mami. Maybe that’s because Judith was playing farms wrong and you had to keep correcting her and but you didn’t miss the tears in your mamis eyes when she came to take you home. 

The fighting started again after that and you never saw your mamas special friend again. The fighting didn’t just happen when Mami picked you up but at training too. When you were playing hide and seek with Pina and Cata, you heard your Mami crying to Mapi. 

You wanted to go see but if you went Pina and Cata would find you and you’d lose. So you stayed and listened. 

“Mariquita told alba that Jenni has a special friend and that I’m not allowed to kiss anyone but her. She’s fucking with the girls head Mapi!” 

“Ale, she’s 7, maybe she heard wrong.” 

“She didn’t. I spoke to Jenni, she said she was seeing someone but she was supposed to be seeing me only! That was the conversation we had, she promised me that she wouldn’t see other people.” 

Your mama had lied and made your Mami sad. All of your trusted adults said that lying was bad and making someone sad wasn’t nice. So the only logical conclusion was that your mama was a big meanie. You made sure to tell her that when she tried to take you home after training. Screaming bloody murder and kicking and biting her until she let go. 

Your Mami was the last to you as a crowd of teammates had began to form. 

“Don’t make me go with her Mami. Please Mami. She’s mean! I wanna go home with you and Nala. Please Mami.” You begged as you cried into her arms. Alexia looked at Jenni with wide eyes before comforting you. 

Mami did take you home with her that night and bribed you with ice cream so you’d tell her what happened. 

“Mama made you sad and she lied. That is mean. Mama is mean.” 

“Mariquita, where did you hear that?” 

“I heard you and Mapi. I was hiding in the laundry basket from Cata and Pina because we were playing and you were crying. I wanted to hug you but I didn’t want to lose so I stayed hiding.” You shrugged nonchalantly as you continued to shovel ice cream into your mouth. 

Alexia realised then that they were both fucking with your head. You weren’t really a talker, but you were a listener. You caught everything and knew everyone’s secrets. Expect you didn’t know what a secret was so you just shared your new information with whoever was closest. 

—————————————————————————

When Barça lost to Lyon in the champions league final, all you could do was cry. Both your Mami and mama were crying, so was Mapi, lele and pats. Somehow you managed to be standing freely away from Tia Alba and Tia Miriam. 

The barricade wasn’t that high. All you had to do was stand on the seat and jump. Mami was still laying on the floor crying and she always said that your hugs made her tears go away. So you did what you thought was right and jumped over. 

You ran as fast as you could, which for a 7 year old was pretty fast, hurling yourself at your mamis body on the floor. 

“Mari?” She sat up slightly, noticing the security guards and waving them off, “what are you doing down here? Where’s Alba?” 

“You were crying. When you cry at home, I hug you then you stop crying. Please don’t cry Mami.” You tried to wipe her tears but they just kept coming and she squeezed you tighter. 

Eventually you both got up and went around hugging the other girls and your mama. Even though you were mad at your mama, she still needed your hugs too. 

When the tall blonde lady from the other team came to talk to Mami, you made sure to stick your tongue out at her when she said hello. 

“Mari, you need to be nice to Ada please.” 

“No, she made you cry.” 

“I didn’t mean to make your mum cry, I promise.” 

“Did you say sorry? Mami says you need to say sorry even if it’s an accident.” 

“I did, I even gave her a hug.” 

“Well I didn’t hear it so say it again.” Both adults laughed at you, Ada saying something about how you were just like Alexia. Obviously, she was your Mami. 

—————————————————————————

You were supposed to be in England when your Mami broke her knee. She was very cranky for a long time and everyone was scared of her. Not you though. You got new toys out of it and new books. But there was a new person around, mamis friend Olga. She didn’t play how you liked so whenever she came over you went to your room. 

Alexia, in her depression didn’t notice it. Abuela did though. She saw how you retreated more. How you didn’t want to play football, or talk to your mama on the phone. You just hide away in your room, old habits dying hard of cleaning. It was something both Jenni and alexia had worked hard to get you out of the habit of doing. You didn’t need to clean the bathrooms, or was your laundry. That was their job, but Mami couldn’t do any of her jobs anymore so you did. 

A loud smashing noise woke you from your nap. It was summer break and you’d spent all morning at the beach with Alba and Judith so you were tired. 

“You’re not taking my fucking daughter Jennifer! Over my dead body.”

“She’s our daughter alexia. And it wouldn’t be forever. Just until you can look after yourself and her because god knows you can’t!” The fighting was back. Something you’d gotten for 8th birthday was a phone. It only had a few numbers in it but the only one you needed was abuelas. She answered very quickly and you were able to give her a run down of what was happening. When she said she was on her way, you snuck out of the apartment, taking Nala with you and heading down to the front foyer to wait. 

It was very long before she arrived, running through the doors and barely stopping to notice you sitting there. 

“Mi vida! What’s happening?” 

“Dunno. I was sleepin’ then Mami started swearing and mama said she was taking me away.” 

“Alba, take her to the car. Now.” Abuelas voice was scary, the type she used to yell at Mami and alba when they were fighting or when Nala chewed her tv remote. 

Eli could hear the yelling from the hallway, using her key to let herself in. 

“I don’t fucking care Alexia! She’s not staying here. You’re a pathetic excuse of a mother right now!”

“ENOUGH!” Both women turned in shock to see Eli standing there, face full of fury. “Your daughter rang me because you were both screaming at each other. She was scared and wanted to leave. I bet neither of you noticed that she left!” 

“No eli. She’s in her room.”

“She’s in my car Jennifer. She packed a bag and took Nala downstairs and waited. Alba put her in the car. Neither of you deserve that little girl. All you two do is fight and treat each other like shit. In front of her! What kind of example are you setting?” 

“Mami-“

“No Alexia. I’m not done. Jennifer, you will not move that child to the other side of the world. Her football is here, her school and her friends that she worked so hard to make. You’re here often enough that you will see her and I will bring her on holidays. Alexia, pull your shit together. She relies on you not the other way around. She will stay at my house for now, Nala too. When you’re ready to be grown ups, you know where to find her.” 

It didn’t take long for mama to come but it was to say she was leaving and you wouldn’t be coming with her. She explained that she’d be going to Mexico, you understood geography a lot better now since you had just turned 8. She was going far away, further than ever before and leaving you behind yet again. 

Something changed that day, it wasn’t the first time you had been left behind but this was your mama. The person who was supposed to stay with you and love you. 

Towards the end of 2022, alexia was finally running again. Rehab was going as planned and you were continuing to do well in school. She had planned to take you, Tia Alba and Abuela to the Maldives for Christmas. It was supposed to be a fun time. Just the four of you. Nala couldn’t come but she was excited when she got dropped off at Pats house.  

When you came back school had started again, Mami had promised everyday she’d be the one to pick you up from school and she was. Until a stranger came. She wasn’t completely a stranger, she was mami’s friend but you didn’t know her. Your refusal to go home with her caused a scene and Abuela ended up getting called. 

Your Mami and mama had taught you a lot of important things, like when someone was sad you gave them a hug, never take food from a stranger and never ever go with a stranger. Only a trusted adult and Olga was not a trusted adult. All the trusted adults knew the safe word, it was the word they’d say and you knew Mami or mama sent them but she didn’t. 

“Mari, what happened at school today?” Mami asked while watching tv on the couch. 

“I did some maths, made a volcano explode. A stranger tried to take me. Oh! And I played on the monkey bars with Isabel then she braided my hair!” 

“A STRANGER WHAT!” She jolted you around. 

“Yeah at pick up. You didn’t come and she said you were friends but she didn’t know the safe word so I ran back inside and made them call Abuela.” It was silent for a few moments before it clicked. Alexia was stuck doing an interview and had asked Olga to pick you up, completely forgetting to tell her about the safe word. 

“Olga came, yes?” You nodded, “you know Olga. You’ve met Olga before?” 

“Just because I’ve met her doesn’t mean I know her Mami. What if the mean Real Madrid girls took me from school? I’ve met them but I don’t know them. Plus she didn’t know the safe word and trusted adults know the safe word.” 

“You’re right Mari. How about this weekend we go to the beach and you can really know Olga? We can take Nala and have a nice lunch.” You thought it over for a moment, you did like the beach and you liked most of mamis other friends, expect the Real Madrid goalie. You did not like her at all. After much consideration you nodded your head. Mami pulled you back into her lap and that’s how you stayed for the rest of the night. 

Meeting new people wasn’t easy. You got Mami and mama when you were three but now you were eight. During those five years you’d met so many new people, some were good and some not so good. There was always something subconsciously that made you freak out, especially when it was in a foreign place. 

“Hola y/n. I’m Olga.” She squatted down so she was a little smaller than you. Instead of responding you just hid behind your Mami. 

“she gets a bit nervous around new people. Mariquita? Can you please say hi?” Alexia felt you shake your head from behind her, she let out a sigh but continued on. 

They both tried to include you in conversation but you only ever stared at Olga. Mami had a lot of friends, none of them quite like her. She was what Abuela would describe as a espíritu libre. Almost the opposite of Mami. 

“Are you and my Mami having sex?” Both adults chocked on their food. 

“Mari!”

“What? I asked it in a polite way no?” 

“Where did you learn that?” 

“You’re deflecting. Abuela says you and Tia alba do that when you don’t want to answer.” Olga just watched as you both stared each other down. 

“Do you know what sex is?” Olga asked, she didn’t mean to ask it out loud so she was just as shocked as alexia was when the words came out. 

“Yes. I googled it. I’m not stupid you know.” 

“What do you mean you googled it?” 

“I don’t understand what you aren’t understanding Mami? I am speaking the same language!” 

“You’re eight. You shouldn’t be googling things like that! Where did you learn the word?” 

“Mapi.” 

“Of course. Please explain how you and Maria got on the conversation of sex.” 

“She was talking to Ingrid and I was hiding in the locker room because Ana was gonna get me and she said to Ingrid ‘should we have our post win sex early”. You mocked the way Mapi spoke, earning a laugh from Olga who only got a glare from your Mami. 

“I’m going to kill her.” 

After lunch Olga let. Instead of Mami driving home, she drove straight to Mapis apartment and basically smashed the door down. You got a front row seat to the chewing out the Spaniard got. Her face red in embarrassment. To you, it was very funny but to Mami and Mapi, it was not. 

—————————————————————————

On the 30th of April, the time finally came for your Mami to return playing. She was back in training a few weeks earlier which meant you were spending more time with Abuela after school. 

When Mami got subbed on the crowd went wild. Everyone was standing and clapping. Abuela, Tia Alba and Olga were all crying and when you asked why, Tia alba explained they were happy tears. It didn’t really make much sense to you, you understood she was hurt and couldn’t play for a while but you didn’t understand the significance that your Mami held to the club or to women’s football in general. 

FC Barcelona won the champions league that year. This was the first time you truly understood what it meant. They were the best time in Europe. Mamis important Ibiza holidays always included you, but this year they wouldn’t. Mama was back and you’d be going on holiday with her before the World Cup. 

Mama took you back to Madrid, where you spent three weeks. Not once did you talk about Mami, or Tia alba but you did talk about Mexico and how mama really loved it there and wanted you to visit. Right before you flew back to Barcelona, mama gave you a special necklace. It was a love heart locket, on one side was a picture of you, Mami and mama when you were little and the other side was blank. 

“When we win the World Cup, there will be a picture of the three of us to go on the other side.” It was a promise. 

You celebrated your ninth birthday in Australia. Mami and mama were allowed to come celebrate with Tia Alba, Abuela and Olga. There was a weird feeling around the table but you didn’t care. You had most of your favourite people and Olga and that’s all you needed. 

[mariasont]

aaron hotchner masterlist

smut = ✧ clean (ish) = ♡ angst = ✩

this list goes oldest to newest! (idk why i did it like that but im too lazy to change it now)

one shots:

♡ marked territory: you are not happy about a consultant trying to make a move on your man

✧ negotiation with mr. h pt 1 pt 2: hotch doesn't know what to do when his nanny flirts with him out of the blue

♡ bumper to bumper: you can't seem to park your car and hotch is the man to help

♡ office sleepover: you get put on a hit list and have to stay over at the office pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

✩ the manuscript: you find a series of letters aaron wrote you in college

✩♡ talking to a brick wall: you overheard aaron’s not so nice words about you

✧ spoiled: in which hotch overhears your conversation with penelope and decides to do something about it

♡ some profiler you are: in which hotch insists you stay with him after you get shot

✧ ideas from a book: in which hotch catches you reading smut and finds out you have a gun kink

♡ give this old man a heart attack: you almost get yourself killed on a case and hotch has some choice words about it

♡ they think i'm pregnant: the team thinks you're pregnant and you decide to have a little fun with it

✩ please, don't prove 'em right: aaron hotchner is a busy man and he tends to disappoint you by missing important events pt 1, pt 2

♡ stupid crush: being the youngest member of the bau you think you have no shot with your hot boss

♡ late night podcast: hotch finds you fast asleep to the soothing sound of a seriel killer podcast

✩♡ too emotional: you and hotch are taken hostage, hotch makes some comments, but is it part of the plan or did he mean that?

♡ dangerous: you get hit with some laughing gas and become much more bold and flirty with your boss

♡ schoolboy-esque: spencer and hotch spend the day competing for your attention

♡ secret nicknames: hotch accidentally calls you your middle name at work causing suspicion in the team

✧ let me take care of you: you had a rough day at work and hotch decides to draw you a bath and help you relax with a couple creative methods

✩♡ softly, slowly: you have a hard time opening up because of a past of your mom being dismissive with your feelings but hotch is slowly helping you overcome that

✧ short skirt, long day: on paperwork days you tend to wear short skirts, one day perv!aaron decides to take advantage of that

✧ the hypothesis: spencer and aaron want your help settling a debate of arousal

♡ a puddle in running shoes: your boyfriend finds out you have a praise kink and is having way too much fun with that information

nanny!reader

♡ laundry day: hotch notices a difference in how his clothes smell and realizes his nanny might have something to do with that

♡ parent-teacher conference: nanny!reader isn't too happy about a teacher trying to flirt with her boss

♡ date night: nanny!reader comes home after the worst date

♡ career day: mr. hotchner can't make jack's career day so nanny!reader steps in and maybe embellishes just a smidge about how the fbi works

bimbo!assistant!reader

♡ my assistant: bimbo!assistant!reader can't reach a book so hotch helps you out

♡ my boss won’t be happy about this: bimbo!assistant!reader is wrongfully arrested and hotch is not happy about it

♡ strawberry wine: hotch is a lot more flirty when he's got some alcohol in him (bimbo!assistant!reader)

♡ semantics: bimbo!assistant!reader flirts with an officer that has been driving hotch mad all day

♡ jealousy, jealousy: a witness flirts with hotch and bimbo!assistant!reader thinks that hotch is reciprocating

♡ good luck charm: bimbo!assistant!reader is gone for the morning and leaves hotch a couple sticky notes

♡ training day: bimbo!assistant!reader doesn't understand why hotch is giving her training lessons, but apparently he thinks she needs it

♡ talk about a bad date: bimbo!assistant!reader went on a shitty ass date and calls hotch to her rescue

♡ rainy with a chance of hotch: bimbo!assistant!reader gets caught in the rain

♡ business of making babies: bimbo!assistant!reader gets hotch worked up at the casual mention of kids

♡ smiling like a fool: hotch is the one making bimbo!assistant!reader flustered for once

♡ lovely menace: hotch and bimbo!assistant!reader are in an established relationship and reader lovessss to be a menace at work

♡ a pen for your thoughts: 5 times hotch found himself unexpectedly drawn to bimbo!assistant!reader before they were together and 1 time when they finally were

♡ the funny thing about him: the team thinks it's absurd that bimbo!assistant!reader finds hotch hilarious

♡ laced with love: hotch is away on a case and insists you spend his money while he's gone, so you spend it on something you both enjoy later

[tan1shere]

um do you think you could write about billie coming home drunk after partying with her friends with smut ig (IF YOU WANT I LOVEE YOUR STORIES)

Missed You

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: ooou coming right up !!!

Summary: you hadn't gone with her tonight and she missed you alot when she comes back home.

Warnings: smutyness, eating out, drunk billie. I think that's it ?

Masterlist

Friday night, and you were home. Alone, seeing as your girlfriend Billie was at an after part for one of the award shows. You sadly couldn't attend either of them, because you had to work, yet you still supported her though. Even if it was through a screen. She had won an award and you were so proud. Still a bit upset you couldn't attend her and the others to the party after.

"You can come when you're done baby." She said, almost pleading. -

She honestly hated these things and only enjoyed them if you were there on her arm. Especially at the events, she adored taking you along the red carpet just to show you off. It was so sweet. You even noticed in a few mini interviews they had asked about you. "Shes working today I'm afraid." She makes a saddened face at the person she was speaking to. Then turns to the camera currently on her. "But I love you beautiful, see you at home." She then proceeds to blow a kiss your way. You smile at your desk feeling so loved by her.

- "It'll be late by then bub, I'd wanna just relax at home." You reply, folding laundry. "Then I won't go to the after party." You look at her. "Baby-" Her head shakes. "There's no point if you won't be there." "Fins going to be there!" She goes to back that up. "With Claudia so I'll be basically third wheeling." You sigh gently. "Baby. Please go have fun." She lets out a small noise. "But I know I won't." You then go over to her, cupping her cheeks. "You don't know that, I'm sure Finneas and Claudia will make it fun."

She now sighs. "Fine fine. I'm gunna miss you though."

That leads you to now, you are laying on the couch, anxiously waiting for her to come back. You had just showered and gotten into your sleepwear, when the door swings open. "Baybeeee." Your brows knit together, turning your head to see Finneas holding her up right. "She drank a bit." He says pursing his lips. You giggle just slightly. "God she's annoying when she's drunk." He says plopping her on the couch. "I was gunna take her back to mine so you wouldn't have to deal with her, but you haven't seen her all day so I decided against it." You smile at him.

"Thanks Fin." He salutes. "Noo, problem." He says shutting the door and leaving to get into his car. "You so totally didn't have fun huh?" You laugh. "I most certainly- didn't. It was boooooring." She says, sinking into the couch. "I missed you." You smile. "I missed you too. I'm going to go get you some water." You say, heading to the kitchen. You try find a glass and fill it up when you feel hands on your waist. "You smell and look so good." She says into your neck. You shake your head a tiny bit. "Bil-" "God you smell amazing." She mumbles into your skin again.

You feel her teeth bite as she sucks. You let out a surprised moan. "Billie-" Your hands move to push her away lightly. "You're drunk baby." She looks at you from head to toe. "You aren't doing anything. It's meee, so it doesn't matter." She gets closer again. "Your breath reeks." Your giggle was to be heard as you keep her at bay. "God you're so fucking cute." She says going to kiss you. You must admit she was extremely hot right now. So you don't stop her.

Her lips were soft mixed with the taste of alcohol. Her hands were all over you as she gets incredibly grabby when drunk. "I love you. I missed you so much." She slurs against your lips. Her hands move to your side, fiddling just slightly with your robe having it almost fall. "Bill-" "Need you. Come on." You bite your lip as it slips off you. "Want a taste, please." You let out a shakey breath as she instantly drops to her knees. "Missed you so much." She kisses your inner thigh gently. "So. Much." You didn't feel real, she was even sexier when drunk. Her tongue feeling amazing.

"Your skin is so soft baby." She then says, moving up to your clothed pussy. Instantly making them drop down your legs. "Everywhere just smells so good fuck." And you feel her tongue finally. It being on you hastily. Your mind races with nothing but her and the feeling. If anything you were the one drunk. The way she always made you feel. "Mmm, Billie-" You moan out, putting your hands in her hair. She looks up at you, the most hungry eyes you've ever seen. You then watch them roll back as your walls tighten around her tongue.

She moans into you, gripping your hips tightly. And within seconds you're cumming hard on her tongue. She swallows everything drinking you dry.

"Now I'm drunk on you." You giggle as she comes up to your face. "I'm your alcohol."

"Yeah you are."

[kaivenom]

Hellooo, could I request the one piece dilfs catching you masturbating and humping their pillow?:3

The One Piece Dilfs catiching you masturbating and humping their pillow HCS

Characters: Doflamingo, Mihawk, Crocodile, Smoker, Shanks

Masterlist

Dracule Mihawk

He was two months away, two months that you were alone at the castle.

He called you and was sweet and said he missed you, but you missed his touch and you couldn't wait.

It alrealdy happened a couple of times these two months, but this one he was coming back.

It was a surprise so he didn´t told you, and want to make it special, but when he entered the room he saw you naked with your wet pussy moving all along his pillow.

He freezed a little, not knowing if he should join you and scare you or be sweet and give you the chocolate and flowers.

"My love." you were the one frozen now. "Maybe you were missing me more than i thought, i missed your pressence too."

With that, you saw the gifts he had and know he can approach you.

With one hand he took your chin and kissed your lips, with the other he guided your hand to feel his boner.

He was trying to be sweet and caring after spending that time away but right now he just wanted to split you in half.

And when you started to squeeze his boner and put him on bed, he took it as the signal to be savage with you.

Donquixote Doflamingo

You know it was risky, like a lot, if he founds you like that he could get angry.

He doesn't like anyone to be on his chambers, but here you are, naked with his pillow between your legs.

You don't know what was on your mind when you decide to enter the room but since your mind can only think of him and your voice can only moan, well you are not thinking straight anymore.

On the other hand, he was watching you thru a camera on the room, nobody knows about it except for him.

When he saw you entering the room, he was about to send someone to take you out, but when you got naked and started humping his pillow, things changed.

He was observing you with a serious face, trying to ignore his hard-on, but you made it so difficult.

He was on top of his nerves, you could open a drawer and see his secrets, but you are there, getting of with just the smell of him.

He started to stroke himself thru his pants, not really caring about anything else that was happening around him.

His thoughts were varying a lot: "Why is this bitch on my room" "what a annoyance" "She's looking so hot" "I want to stuff her" , etc

When you cummed, he couldn't and that made him angrier.

So, when you left the room, he approached you on the hallway, almost giving you a heart attack.

He lifted you up and put you on his shoulder, going directly to the room.

"You are going to have a punishment for getting where you're not supposed to be."

Sr. Crocodile

Long day at work, and you long bored day.

So your mind started to go to specific memories and made you take the decision to hump the pillow.

You were so lost on your pleasure that you lost track of time.

So, when you heard the door open you didn't have time to react.

"Ummm, it looks like my little lover can't wait for me to get home, you are a little vicious one."

He was listening to you for a couple of minutes, building his desire just to move the door when you were about to come.

For a moment you thought you did something wrong but when you saw the big tent on his trousers poking out of his coat, you felt arroused x3

He felt really arroused too, he was a little upset that you didn't wait for him to get home but at the same time he loved that you couldn't wait.

He just sits there and makes you a signal to come closer, you have to get some kind of punishment.

"You can still pleasure yourself love, but you need to do something about this too."

Smoker

It's really difficult to be in the same ship as a man who is that hot and always walks shirtless.

Today's training was the breaking point, he was all sweaty and groaning.

You were in charge of laundry today so you had an excuse to enter his room.

You layed on the bed, turning on with just his smell and cologne on the sheets.

You hugged the pillow, you were being weird and you know it but suddently the idea of humping it took your mind.

You are either way going to wash it, so nobody would notice.

The bad feeling lasted 5 seconds, after that all was pleasure, to the point that you were trying to stay quiet.

The thing is that your captain was going to take something on his room and catched you, but you were so distracted that you didn't realize it.

He was about to yell at you but he didn't have the nerve, he felt too embarrased about how he instantly got a boner.

He just tried to forget it but that night he tried to catch your smell on the pillow and he was now the one who was jacking off to your thought.

He was distant from you a couple of days but then he coudln't wait and kissed you hardly against a wall.

"God, how can i be a god supervisor if all i think is you riding me?"

Akagami Shanks

You were angry at him, for some stupid thing he did, but you were arroused too.

Solution? humping a pillow.

You were angry about thinking of him, but you were getting so much pleasure.

You heard someone coming in but you didn't care, the only person that would open the door is the one you are angry at, so, f*ck him.

"God baby, you are feeling so good."

You tried to slow you movements and ignore him, but he got closer, smelling a little like licour, but you know he isn't drunk yet.

When he starts to kiss your neck you groaned but you have to stay strong.

"Im sorry for earlier baby, please, let me hear your pretty voice."

You tried to ignore him and not moan but his voice was so deep and sensual that you coudln't resist.

He started to grope your breasts and bite your neck.

"You are not going to do it again?" you grabbed his hair agressively.

"I promise you." he said while pressing his boner on you.

"Good, now fuck me."

[leah-lover]

Sketches. Mapi x Ingrid x reader.

Summary: what happens when Ingrid and mapi discover the sketches r drew of them.

------------------------------------------------

Doom scrolling on your phone after practice was your favorite activity of the day. You would come home exhausted, throw your kitbag in the hallway, and cocoon in your coach for about an hour.

Today was no different. You got home and did the same thing. You opened TikTok, and scrolled half mindedly. One video though grabbed your attention. It was a tik tok from the official page of Barcelona where your teammates were asked to describe you in a few words.

Cata was the first to answer and she did so by describing you as quiet. It was fair you didn't talk much if at all. It's not that you weren't comfortable enough with the team, you were just a quiet person. Irene was next and she called you kind which put a smile on your face. All your teammates called you different versions of sweet, kind, funny, quiet, and shy. You found their words endearing and it almost brought you to tears. This reaction quickly went away after you heard what mapi described you. “ Talented artist.” your face turned white and your heartbeat was accelerating. Her answer was followed by Ingrid who described you as an “ impressive painter.”

You dropped your phone quickly. “ No it can't be. No no no no. Fuck!!” You got up from the couch and tried to keep yourself busy. You put away your kit bag, did laundry , cleaned the house surprisingly thoroughly. You even meal prepped. all of this so that you wouldn't think about that video, their response, and what most likely saw.

Your alarm found you awake for the first time since the champion’s league final which spoke greatly to the anxiety you were experiencing. The thought of being face to face with them knowing that they know your secret terrified you but had to go to training so you did, and your mission was to get through the day without making contact with them because if you did you would either cry or throw up and that wasn't an option.

“ Nena what's wrong?” Asked Alexia at the meeting room.

“ Nothing capi everything is good.” You say trying to contain your tears. That's when she held your hand and redirected her focus to the coach. She rubbed her thumb across your knuckles once in a while. Once the meeting was over she pulled you gently out of the room and to a different room.

“ We are not getting out of this room until you tell me what is wrong.” Alexia looked so gentle, caring and a little bit worried. But you couldn't tell her what was wrong.

“ Nena I love you and I care about you deeply. Your anxiety is clearly through the roof. Just let me help you. We decided that you would let me help, remember.” She put her hand on your shoulder and desperately waited for an answer.

Alexia was like a big sister to you. She helped you survive your time in Barca but your issue right now was within the team not the pressure or the limelight and you know there was nothing to fix it.

“ I want a transfer. I want to leave Barcelona. I want to leave. “ You close your eyes so that you won't cry.

“ It's okay pequena everything is gonna be okay. I can fix this, whatever this is I can fix it. Trust me.” She pulled you in for a hug. Your anxiety was through the roof and the voices in your head were screaming vile and scary things at you.

“ I want to leave ale. I am serious.” You try to say sturnely.

“ You are one of your best strikers. We need you now more than ever if we want to quadruple again. And we do so you are staying.” She just held you as you cried some more.

Once you calmed down you apologized to Alexia. “ I guess you aren't gonna tell me right?” she asked again.

“ It's just about a stupid video.” You tried to stop the words as they were coming out of your mouth but it was too late.

“What video?” She asked suspiciously.

“ A video posted by the Barca page. It's nothing to worry about. Sorry capi, I didn't mean to freak out.”

“ It's fine Nena if you don't feel like training you can go home. “ She proposed after realizing you won't say anything.

“ Yeah I think that is a good idea.” You went to the locker room, grabbed your bag and left. Alexia then pulled out her phone and searched for the video you were talking about. She watched it 3 times and her teamates’s answers seemed fine, but she got suspicious of mapi and Ingrid's answers so she went to talk to them.

“ Maria, Ingrid, I need to talk to you.” Demanded the captain. They complied and waited for her at the side of the pitch.

“ Where is Nena?” Asked mapi.

“ That's what I am here to talk to you about. She went home now. I just managed to calm her down but she isn't okay. She was crying and she said she wanted a transfer from this team. She also said something about a video the social media team posted. I didn't understand anything.” Mapi and Ingrid gave one another a look they both understood. They knew what troubled you and they felt bad for it.

“ Don't worry about it ale. We will make things right, I promise you.” Said Ingrid.

“So you did something wrong. You hurt her somehow” Alexia started to frown with anger.

“ Ale calm down, I will tell you everything just not now. Everything will be alright tomorrow.”

“Well it better fucking be or you will answer to me.” added the captain before leaving.

When you arrived home your head was pounding because of the crying so you headed straight to your bedroom, got under the covers and slept almost immediately, too tired to do anything else. You only woke up when your phone was buzzing under your pillow.

“ Hola” you answered without checking who is calling.

“ Hola Nena, I need you to open the door. We are standing outside.” Said a familiar voice.

You put your phone to the side and went straight to your door not realizing what you were doing.

Once you opened the door, your eyes opened wide, surprised at who was at your door. You stood there like a statue trying desperately to calm the voices in your head.

“Nena , please let us in, we need to talk to you.” said ingrid in the gentlest voice you ever heard.

You couldn't kick them out so you stepped aside and let them get in. By the time you got to the living room your heart was beating very fast, each breath was harder and harder and the walls around you started to close in on you. Mapi was the first one to notice so she came running towards you. She took your hand, guided you to the couch and started to construct you to take deep breaths.

“ I am gonna leave. Transfer window is in 2 weeks so the coach has enough time to secure a deal with a new team. Even if they dont we can fake an injury for the media and I can just stay home until the summer where we can look again for another deal. You don't have to worry about anything. I won't cause any problems i swear. . ” you say once you get your breath back.

“ nena why do you think anybody wants you to leave?” askes ingrid.

“ I know you think I am a creep, I understand that. I don't want to cause any problems within the team so I am leaving.” you try to say as calmly as you can.

“ nena we don't think you are creepy.” replied mapi. You look at them with confusion. What if you understood everything all wrong? what if you had jumped to false confusion? What if this was all a misunderstanding from you part?

“ You said in that video that I draw really well. I never showed you any of my drawings so that means that you saw them.” you try to piece everything together.

They both look at eachother hesitantly before ingrid starts talking.

“ The other day in the locker room you wanted to talk to the physio and left your ipad open, that's when I saw a drawing of myself and I zoomed out to see the full picture. I then accidentally swiped and saw that you drew a few portraits of me and mapi separately and together.” you knew that they saw the portraits, but hearing the words come out of ingrid’s mouth made the situation much worse for you. Those drawings were something sacred and intimate to you. You expressed your every thought through them. They were your safe space and they gave solace. But now they have changed into a nightmare that would force you to leave your favorite place in the world.

“ Did you see all of them?” your voice seemed to have shrunk and as you ask the question staring at the floor.

“ yes but we don't think it's creepy. We think it's beautiful that you drew us.” mapi didn't know what to say. She was afraid that she said the wrong thing and made the situation worse.

“ mapi you saw 79 portraits of you and your girlfriend on my ipad. Very detailed portraits of the two of you that I drew when I was near you in the meeting room or training or the dinner hall or even my own bedroom and you don't think that that’s a little bit sick.” you ask the question sarcastically.

“ No we don't. look we didn't come here to fight with you or reprimand you we….” you didn't let ingrid finish her sentence, you instead got up, grabbed your ipad and displayed the portraits for them.

“ You seriously don't think this portrait is creepy.” you show them a portrait you drew of them kissing. You weren't thinking of how embarrassing this moment was, you were trying to convince yourself that they hate you because it was better than the alternative. “ Look, I hate myself for this more than you could ever hate me. That's why I want to leave. I am not going to make you feel uncomfortable anymore. “

“ can you please just shut up for a moment. We don't hate you, we don't find you creepy, we liked what we saw, and we think you are very talented. Please don't turn this into something it's not. And please don't ask for a transfer.” mapi didn't mean for her words to come out like that but she couldn't stand seeing the hurt on your face.

“ Look what Maria means to say is that it's all good with us. You don't have to worry about anything and that we are sorry we brought it up in the first place.” ingrid then extended her arms and offered you a hug which you took. You hugged her and mapi again as they left your apartment. Once you found yourself alone in your house again you grabbed your ipad and smashed it to the ground cracking the screen. You left it there on the ground and went straight to bed.

While you slept soundly the couple were the ones that would stay awake late at night.

' you shouldn't have said it like that maria.’ reprimanded ingrid.

“ What did you want me to do? I couldn't just sit there and let her insult herself.” defended mapi.

“ I don't think we handled it right. We should have talked to her more.”

“ you have seen her when she closes herself off. You can't break through when she does that. Once she convinced herself with something you can't undo it. And now she convinced herself that we hate her which isn't true.”

“ We have to find a way to convince her otherwise. She can't leave.”

“ she won't, amor.”

The next day was travel day and you were the first on that bus. You sat in the front, put on your head phones and closed your eyes. The team knew from alexia not to bother you and alexia was informed by ingrid and mapi to let them handle your situation.

You didn't hear anybody get on the bus, you only realized what was happening when the bus started moving. You weren't bothered for the first 20 minutes of the ride but that didn't last long because somebody snatched an airpod from your ear.

“ No iPad today?” asked a smiling mapi who sat next to you . Ingrid sat in front of you.

“ No, I gave that up.”

“ It's a shame you were very good at it.” she responded.

“ Since when did you start drawing?” asked ingrid.

“ since I was a kid. My therapist used to encourage me to do it because I wasn't so good at expressing what i am feeling.”

“ and these drawings help you express your feelings?” you knew what ingrid was getting to and you didn't want to go there so you went for your phone to try and increase the volume of the airpod left in your ear but ingrid’s hand got to it first.

“ Yesterday we were scared that we would say the wrong thing. But today I would rather say the wrong thing than lose you nena.” what ingrid said shocked you.

“ So you were saying that drawing helps you express things right?” continues mapi.

“ yeah. I am not very good at words. I never was so I drew all the words I couldn't say. “

“ Do you have your ipad with you?” asked ingrid.

“ No, I don't have an ipad anymore i smashed it yesterday.”

“ why?”

“ because….” you were quickly interrupted by mapi “ don't you dare say it's creepy.”

A staff member interrupts your conversation by putting an envelope on the table.

“ room 1209, 3 beds like you asked.” she said looking at mapi.

“ What did you do?” you ask confused.

“ I am making sure you are not leaving.”

The bus stopped so you couldn't continue the conversation. You weren't left any room to protest the decision that was made for you as the couple were more stubborn than you are.

Once you got in the room you were hit with the reality that you were going to have to sleep in the same room as them.

“ mapi i can't stay here.”

“ why not?”

“ You know the reason why.”

“ No we dont.” said ingrid.

“ Please don't make me go through this. I promise I won't leave, just please don't make me.”

“ I don't understand why you are so upset right now. We are just going to share a room.

The couple knew that playing dumb would anger you enough that you would start talking. The melancholic look on their faces hit the nail on the head.

“ i cant be here because of the same reason i drew those fucking drawing.. I tried to get you out of my head by drawing you and fantasizing about you but i can't stay stop whatever i am feeling from coming out when i'm sleeping and you are cuddling next to me.”

“ Why would that bother you?” they continued to play on your built up anger.

“ It bothers me because I want to be in the middle of you. I want to be with you. That's why I drew you, that's why I fantasize about it and that's why I can't sleep here.” you weren't realizing what you were saying not until you said it and it hit you like a truck.

Suddenly , you see the couple moving two beds together, taking off their shoes, and laying on the bed. Ingrid then taps on the space between them calling you over.

“ you gotta be fucking kidding me?” you say.

“ We knew what you felt the day we saw you drawing but we thought we were just reaching or projecting our feelings towards you. Since yesterday we were trying to get you to admit your feelings so that we would do too but you kept on insulting yourself which was nice by the way so we resulted in playing dumb which clearly worked. “ said mapi.

“ We care about you, we don't want to lose you. We don't have to figure out everything right now so just come and lay with us please. “ added ingrid.

You were moving on autopilot when you took off your shoes and layed in the middle of the bed between them . you stared at ingrid’s eyes for long time before you moved or spoke.

“ Your eyes are so beautiful I could never capture them in a drawing.” you then look over at mapi “ and you smile i don't think i have never seen it up close. This is too much.” you try to get up but they stop you.

“ We don't have to do anything right now.” mapi handed you a notebook and a pen.

“ Why don't you draw this moment now.” you take the pen and the biggest smile spreads on your face as you get up, look at them, and start drawing as they admired you.

[cressidagrey]

Lightning in a Bottle - Prologue

Summary: 

Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was actually pretty much useless. The only thing she wanted was to be somebody's first choice for once in her life.

Also known as: Azriel's shadows decide that if he doesn't treat his mate right... they'll just do it for him.

Warnings: 

Kinda Elain Bashing?, Low Self Esteem, Mention of Cauldron induced torture...

(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)

As far as cauldron-made went…Eira Archeron was pretty much useless. 

She had neither the power of Death nor of Divinity. 

She was neither the prettiest one, that title belonged to Elain…nor the smartest one, which was undoubtedly Nesta. Or the strongest one like Feyre…And if she had tried to hunt like Feyre, it would have been more likely that she would have accidentally killed herself instead of bringing home any meat. 

As a human, she had been limited to cooking and cleaning and laundry, all of it with limited supplies and even more limited experience. She had tried. It had never been enough. 

So maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her that her uselessness continued on even when she was no longer human.

So if she wasn’t beautiful or strong or smart…what was she then? 

The dumb one? 

When the cauldron had burned every bit of humanity out of her…when it had ripped away all her hopes and dreams…when it had been so angry with Nesta after whatever she had done to it that Eira was just…Eira was just an afterthought, something it could hurt in response to her sisters and then leave gasping on that stone floor feeling like she was dying…

She had done her best to accept her lack of humanity afterwards. Nesta had raged…Elain had said nothing, suffering silently in the bed…and Eira…Eira had tried. 

Tried to make it better…tried to make it easier for everybody around her. She had tried. 

She hadn’t wanted to put even more on Feyre’s shoulders, not with the threat of impending war…and so she had done her best to be supportive and make no trouble…be agreeable and quiet and be helpful…

But she couldn’t be helpful. 

She was nothing but a useless appendage. With no powers, no great destiny stretched in front of her…

Not even a limb. Not even a fucking pinky finger. 

More like a skin tag. 

Completely useless. If cut off, it wouldn’t even bother anybody. 

They had made that clear to her over time. 

They had made clear what they thought about her, again and again, and now…now she finally realised it. She was a slow learner…but by the gods, she did learn. 

It started…slow in a sense. Comments, made offhandedly, that probably weren’t meant that way anyway…sometimes said to her face…sometimes overheard. 

“Stop your screeching, girl, I am getting a headache.” Amren. After she had finally…after months felt like singing again as she fixed the hem on one of her sister’s dresses. She had stopped singing then.

Amren had never brought it up again. But then Amren had never been particularly nice to any of them.      

“Don’t come crying to me if she bites off your head. I warned you.” Rhysand had told her drily when she insisted on visiting Nesta at the House of Wind every week after all of that had gone down… 

“Don’t you have anything better to do? Like make another ugly dress?” Seethingly said by Nesta…pitted against the one thing she liked to pretend she was good at…the one thing she could do and make money with…

It cut. Of course, it did. But it wasn’t even the worst thing thrown at her head by Nesta…so why was it the one thing that stayed in her mind? 

“We don’t need Eira. Quite frankly, it’s better if she doesn’t go. Elain is the prettier one, anyway.” Cassian…overheard by Eira before the rest of them had gone off to Hewn City. Eira left behind because…well the contrast of Elain badly dressed was enough, no need for Eira to…be what? A distraction?  

And it was true too. Elain was the prettier twin sister. 

Eira was just…common as muck as her mother had liked to remind her…Nesta was the smart one, the one who would marry a prince…Elain would marry for love and beauty…and Eira…well, she would make a good farmer’s wife as far as her mother was concerned.

Not pretty enough to garner a richer man’s attention…not smart enough to drag herself up the echelons of society on her own…To easily content as far as her mother was concerned. 

“As far as cauldron-made goes, she is pretty much useless.” Morrigan. Said in jest. Eira was quite sure of that…still, it had hurt. Because it was true. She was useless. 

No magic sparking at her fingertips…Using her magic was like pulling teeth…painful and a long process…And it never did what she wanted anyway. 

“Eira, find somewhere else to be. I really have more important things to do,” Feyre had said with a sigh…after she had brought her sister cookies and tea…after she had only tried to get Feyre to take a break from her work. 

Eira hadn’t tried that again either. 

And then the one that clinched it: 

“At least I found two males in my life willing to marry me. The one you have your ridiculous puppy crush on is never even going to look at you!”

Said by Elain…by her twin sister. She was frozen in place, staring at Elain wide-eyed as her sister sneered at her. 

 That was the last drop into an already overflowing bucket. 

Stress. Right? Just stress from wedding planning. Elain would have never said that usually. 

She wouldn’t have…

It was just…it was just stress…Just stress. 

Elain didn’t mean it like that. 

Right?

Elain flounced off…her wedding binder in tow…leaving Eira alone, sitting there, in the dining room, her chest aching. 

Eira was in a trance as she carefully put all the plates into one tidy stack…as she was thankful that it had just been her and Elain, every other person in their family busy with their mates or something else…Feyre and Rhysand gone with Baby Nyx for the evening…Nesta and Cassian off at the House of Wind…who knew what Mor and Amren were up to…

Or even Azriel. 

A sob threatened to take over, as she thought that name. 

She walked up the stairs…to her room…Her room. She locked the door with shaky hands. 

“At least I found two males in my life willing to marry me. The one you have your ridiculous puppy crush on is never even going to look at you!”

She collapsed on her bed, burying her face into her pillow and let the tears stream. 

Ridiculous puppy crush. 

All of that said because she had tried to talk to Elain about her choice of flowers for her wedding. Because lilies wouldn’t be in season when she married Lucien in Day Court in less than 2 months. 

And then Elain responded with that, because Eira clearly wanted to ruin her wedding with that factoid. 

“At least I found two males in my life willing to marry me. The one you have your ridiculous puppy crush on is never even going to look at you!”

The worst part of it was that it was the simple truth. 

Azriel was never going to pay her a second glance. 

He had always been more interested in Elain than Eira…he had on more than one occasion asked Eira questions about her twin sister…had made sure that Elain was comfortable and cared for…and Eira had sufficed as a source of information and nothing else. 

And after Elain and Lucien had become serious…well, Eira ceased to be interesting too. He hadn’t sought her out again. 

If she sat next to him at dinner, he was polite and quiet, bordering on silent. And then she tried to fill the silence and probably only annoyed him in the process. 

He didn’t want her. He never would. 

She starved down the sobs that wracked her body. 

It was probably high time that she accepted that, right?

High time to get over herself. 

High time that she reminded herself that…that she was never going to have him and that staring at him in ill-hidden affection only made everybody else make fun of her and probably made him deeply uncomfortable. 

So maybe it was better that she just…

At least he had never called her useless, she supposed. It could be worse…even when he never would want her. 

She felt the touch on her hand first…soft like velvet…like kitten fur…never warm, never cold. massive and somehow not… definitely not human. 

The shadows. His shadows. 

Sometimes they came to keep her company. At the start, she had thought that maybe he had sent them but nowadays she was quite sure that they had just liked her quiet singing while embroidery one afternoon. So quiet that nobody would hear.  It had taken her months to coax them out of their corners after that. They probably had just taken pity on her. 

Just like they did now. 

“Please don’t,” she choked out. She never wanted him to find out how she was feeling about him…never wanted to feel the pain of him outright turning her down. 

 And if his shadows came to check on her, they would report back in what they saw…and they didn’t need…didn’t need to worry about it. 

They never talked to her. Just sometimes they came and listened to her softly talk to them while she was sewing in the evening, about this and that...

It wasn’t right how she talked to you, the shadows whispered. 

They didn’t talk to her. Never. 

And now they did. 

Hell, even his shadows were feeling sorry for her, weren’t they? 

“Please don’t tell him,” she begged. 

He should know, they disagreed softly. Everybody should know. She should apologise to you. 

And what would that give her? Nothing. More embarrassment because everybody else got to hear all about her fledgling little feelings? Feelings she should bury deep and never examine again? 

“Please,” she begged again and the shadows seemingly surrendered, curling themselves up against her hands so that she could touch them. 

Don’t cry, they soothed her softly. Don’t give her that. 

Elain hadn’t said anything that was untrue. That was the worst part. It was true. And that hurt. 

Is there anything we could do? the shadows asked Eira softly. Anything at all to make this better? 

“No,” she whispered, choking out the words, another sob. Not anymore. There was nothing anybody could do. 

It hurt. It hurt so badly.  Just like the cauldron had.  Then she had wished she would die. 

Now…now she wondered the same once again. Maybe then it would stop feeling like this. 

She cried her eyes out, as the tears kept pouring over her cheeks…as she sobbed until her throat was raw and everything hurt. And finally, she just laid there…the shadows still swirling worriedly around her prone form. 

“Don’t you need to work?” she asked the shadows listlessly, tears tracking over her cheeks. “Don’t you have something more important to do than to try and comfort me?” 

Maybe take care of him?

You are important, the shadows snapped. 

Eira could argue that point. She was useless. So what did it matter? It didn’t. 

She wiped away the tears, but new ones just came pouring over her face and she stopped trying, let them run down her face and wondered how long she could stay in her room and never come out again. 

Would you like something to eat? the shadows tried again. So sweet. Trying to give her something, anything to comfort her. 

“No, thank you,” she whispered. Alone the thought made her want to throw up. 

She didn’t want to eat. 

She didn’t want to get up and talk to anybody. She didn’t want to even look at another person anymore. 

She didn’t…

What would you like then? The shadows tried softly. Would you like to plot revenge? they suggested. 

It was so stupid that she choked out a laugh. 

“For what? Elain saying what everybody else is thinking?” Eira asked, her heart painfully restricting. 

Nobody here actually wanted her around. If she disappeared forever she would do them a favour. Him especially. 

Elain had only said what everybody else was thinking. 

All three of her sisters had found their mates, just not Eira. All three of her sisters had some kind of power…just not her. All three of them had found some kind of place for themselves…and then there was her, living with her youngest sister, half seamstress, half nanny for her child, an unwanted appendage that was taken care of out of some feeling of duty and no other reason.

Elain had just voiced what she was thinking. The truth. 

It had been the truth. Plain and simple. And Eira maybe didn’t like to hear it but it didn’t…it didn’t matter. 

It was the truth. 

Elain had two men willing to marry her and spend the rest of their lives with her…and nobody wanted to spend any time with Eira. A husband wasn’t even something that had ever seemed to be a possibility. 

Even if everybody else is thinking, that doesn’t make it right. The shadows disagreed quietly. Your sister said that to hurt you and not for any other reason. 

“She’s stressed out with wedding planning,” Eira whispered. 

It had just been that. Probably. Maybe. 

That doesn’t make it right, the shadows disagreed again, twirling tighter around her wrist. We could ruin her wedding. Lilies and all, they suggested brightly. 

She shook her head. No. Elain should have the wedding she dreamed of. Eira wasn’t going to ruin it for her. 

“Don’t do that,” she said weakly.

We could at least steal her wedding binder, they told her mulishly, and Eira wondered if they disagreed like that with Azriel too.

Azriel…

What did it say about her that she fell head over heels in love with the first man who treated her with polite indifference? That she was so desperate to be loved that that was all it took? 

Did it matter? 

No. 

Elaine was right. He would never spare her a second glance. He was just as unreachable as any other male.

Nothing was enticing about Eira.  Neither her body, nor her mind, nor her magical power. What could she possibly offerany male? 

All the nightmares she had on a near-daily basis? All the fear and anxiety that swirling around her gut every day? 

She could sew on any buttons he lost along the way, she supposed. That was something.

The knife that plunged into her womb and twisted, took her by surprise. 

It shouldn’t have.  

Of course. 6 months had passed once again. 

“Don’t tell him this either,” she begged in a whimper. This was too embarrassing. He didn’t need to know about her cycle. 

Nobody did. She was the most modest out of all her sisters. The one with the most human ideas of what was considered to be decent, left…the only one who…

The only one left with her maidenhead intact, because everybody else was mated or married or very much in love and it had never mattered in Prythian anyway. 

Just Eira was left. 

Without a mate. Without a husband. 

Without ever having even been kissed. Nearly 26 and that…hadn’t happened for her. 

It probably would never happen anyway. 

Why today of all days? 

Why did her cycle need to torture her today?  How did she deserve this? Why not in a week…Though at least now she had a reason not to leave her bed for a few days.  

She could just stay here. 

Mope in her own Misery and self-pity…wallow in the pain that she knew would come…

Of course, it would. She had always had a horrible time during her cycle even as a human…as a Fae, it had become her very own personal torture. 

Maybe a bath would make you feel better, the shadows suggested softly as she already curled herself together in pain. 

She needed to get up and sort herself out before it got even worse…made sure that she wouldn’t get blood all over the sheets, but she couldn’t…She didn’t want to. 

And a bath…A stab of pure fear.  

“It’s like the cauldron,” Eira whimpered. Just like the cauldron. 

She didn’t bathe…she used buckets of water…even years later…still standing water was not something she could stand. Not without being reminded of her humanity being ripped away and traded for whatever this existence was. 

What if we make sure that it isn’t? the shadows asked her softly. It will be nothing like the cauldron, we promise. 

A bath…a hot bath that would help against the soreness of her muscles…that would maybe ease the cramps…

It did sound nice. So nice. 

So Eira just weakly nodded. 

That seemed to be all the agreement the shadows needed as they whisked her to the bathing chamber, in the blink of an eye.

She watched as they flitted about the room, turning on the water, dotting candles around the room, making it brightly lit with faelight and candlelight both. 

Lots of foam and bubbles appeared in the bathtub as well as numerous concoctions being poured into the water. 

She slowly toed off her shoes and opened the laces of her dress. Eira hesitated and the shadows disappeared, letting her undress in privacy…letting her walk to the bathtub and test the temperature…stare at it for a moment. 

It couldn’t look less like the cauldron if it tried. 

She waited for a stab of fear but nothing came. 

So she slid into it, let the warm water envelope her, the perfect temperature… A few tendrils of shadows came to keep her company, touching her chin so that she tipped her head back and they started to wash her hair for her. 

Eira couldn’t even remember the last time anybody had done that for her. 

And they did that…without even asking…just…just for her. 

“Thank you,” Eira whispered, not daring to close her eyes, but staring at the ceiling. “Are you sure you don’t have anything more important to do?” she asked weakly. “Isn’t your master going to be angry at you?” She didn’t want them to get into any trouble, just because they…they were taking care of her. 

You don’t want Master to find out, so he won’t, they said easily. Would you like some pain potions? 

If they gave them to her, she wouldn’t need to walk downstairs and maybe face her sister or gods forbid, Rhysand…and ask them for Madja. 

Nobody would need to know. She could have her privacy and her dignity left intact. 

“Yes, please,“ she breathed in relief as the shadows poured something or other over her head. One shadow brought her a vial, wrapping around her wrist as she uncorked and downed it. 

A bitter taste but it left her blissedly numb and tired nearly immediately.

“What’s that?” She mumbled as they hushed her, massaging her head.

It tasted differently than whatever Madja usually gave her…telling her that pain and discomfort were normal and that her potions would ease it…It was like pouring a bucket of water over an inferno. 

While this…this was quenching everything. Leaving her numb. 

Just a rather strong pain potion, the shadows promised her. You’ll sleep for a bit…We’ll talk more then.

Sleep… Sleep sounded nice…

She didn’t even think about feeling self-conscious when they pulled her from the water, rinsed her off and wrapped her in warm, fluffy towels. 

They laid out her favourite nightgown so she only needed to pull it on and pull back the sheets of her bed so she could slide beneath it. 

Even a hot water bottle was waiting for her…

Everything so that she would be as comfortable as possible… everything for her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, tears pricking in her eyes as she climbed between her blankets, the shadows fluffing her pillow and pulling the blankets as high as they went. 

It was weird…to have the shadows doting on her, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Eira was too selfish to protest this bit of attention…the only positive attention she had in years. 

They promised not to tell, so she wouldn’t either. Not when this was the sweetest thing anybody had ever done for her. 

She fell asleep between one breath and the next, safely and warmly ensconced in her bed. Deep dreamless sleep…When she woke, it must have been the middle of the night…and still, the shadows were there immediately. 

She whimpered at the cramps that were ransacking her body…and the growling of her stomach in hunger. 

She hated these cycles. Hated how weak they left her and how she wanted nothing more than to cease to exist. 

Are you hungry? You’ll need to eat before you can take another pain potion, the shadows told her worriedly. Not a lot, just a little bit, they promised. 

“I don’t want to go down into the kitchen,” she answered weakly, biting her lip. Not that she thought that she could safely traverse the staircase anyway. 

Eira just wanted to stay here…alone. Maybe with the shadows for company, as long as they wanted her…

We’ll get you something. What would you like? They assured her immediately. 

Everything in her body ached for something human, even when she knew that their food would taste like ash for her. She always wanted human things. The things she would never have again.  

“Maybe some soup?” Eira asked finally. “If that’s not too much trouble?” 

Of course not. 

They fluffed her pillows and helped her sit up…and then soup appeared…a bowl filled with clear broth with bits of vegetables and chunks of chicken and noodles…cooked to perfection…better than anything she could have ever produced and by the gods, she had tried…All of it, arranged on a tray, with two slices of perfect crusty bread and another pain potion. 

She took that first, and it made her pleasantly numb and tired…and so she weakly spooned as much soup as she could in her mouth afterwards… mopping up the last of her soup with the bread. 

She finished as much as she could before she was too tired and the shadows tucked her back into bed, curled up on her side…so they could fuss with her hair which was a mess as always. 

She felt like a child being fawned over and she couldn’t help but relax into it…let them do with her whatever they wished if they just kept being so…nice to her. 

Feeling better? they asked softly and she hummed. 

If you could be anything…do anything... what would it be? The shadows wondered quietly. The movements of them were lulling her to some space of safety and warmth and Eira considered the question. 

If she could have anything in the world…what would she want?

A heady question. 

“When I was…young,” she said softly… “I wanted a dashing knight to come rescue me, and whisk me away from that horrible cottage,” she said weakly. “That’s what I wanted since I was old enough to want anything.”

A stupid children’s dream. 

But sadly there were no knights in Prythian and even if there were any, they wouldn’t pick Eira. 

And now? The shadows pushed. 

“Somebody that loves me,”  she admitted quietly. “A husband…children.”

All of that…she wanted all of that. 

And she was never going to have it. 

We could find you a husband, the shadows finally said quietly. If that makes you happy…we could help you.

“Who could possibly want me?” Eira asked, her voice breaking. Who would want her? The answer was easy: Nobody. 

Only because Master is an idiot, doesn’t mean every male is, they told her tartly. 

She wanted to laugh but it ended in a sob. 

“He isn’t an idiot,” Eira disagreed. “He just knows that…I am not good enough for him.”

Not pretty enough, not smart enough…not enough period.

That’s ridiculous, the shadows hissed. 

It wasn’t. 

“He’s in love with my prettier twin sister,” Eira snapped. “I shouldn’t want him anyway. Why should I want to be his second or even third choice?  Maybe for once, I want to be somebody’s first choice! Maybe for once, I want to be treated like I matter! That my feelings matter…that I matter!” It burst out of her. The tears burned in her eyes at that admission. At…how unfair it was. 

What had she done to deserve this? What had she done? 

Eira immediately regretted that outburst though. “I am so sorry,” she blurted out.

They didn’t deserve to be pulled into her feeling unfairly treated. She should stop complaining. It wasn’t going to…

For what? the shadows snorted. You are absolutely right. You deserve to be somebody’s first choice. You deserve to be treated like you matter. 

She didn’t. 

Maybe you should go shopping, the shadows suggested with a sigh. The suggestion was so sudden that she stared at the tendril of shadow still wrapped around her wrist. 

“Why?” she asked with a sigh. 

The Morrigan does that if she feels bad. The shadows told her earnestly. Then she buys shoes and feels better. 

Ah. 

She highly doubted that shoes were going to solve any of her problems. A pretty pair of shoes wasn’t going to make anybody fall in love with her. Or want her. 

“What am I supposed to buy?” She asked quietly. “Just shoes?”

Stuff. The shadows answered easily. Whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy, they assured her. All your sisters have more stuff than you. You make them dresses and other things. But you never make yourself anything, the shadows said quietly. Nobody would say anything if you wanted things that are yours. 

Right. She had never bothered with that. Not after she had lost all her things together with her humanity…there had been some piles of necessities sent to them by Rhysand…and that had been that. 

She had never bothered to get more than that. She still wore those dresses of the very first weeks… and while she had made dresses for all three of her sisters…as human out of necessity, as Fae out of habit…she hadn’t made herself any in years.

Not since becoming Fae. Her new body felt…she hadn’t wanted to look at her new body for long enough to figure out how something should fit onto it. How it had changed….

These godforsaken ears were enough. 

Buy things for yourself. Like a new dress! Or earrings! Diamonds! The shadows suggested. Whatever you find pretty. 

“My ears aren’t pierced,” she said quietly, a yawn taking over her face. 

That brought them up short.

Master bought you pearl earrings, the shadows said suddenly, sounding perplexed. 

He had. Beautiful. Impersonal. Unwearable for her…a far cry from all the little trinkets he had given to Elain…

Still, for months she had stared at them and found them oh so beautiful…safely kept in their box in her drawer at her vanity table. 

Maybe that alone should have told her everything she needed to know about the state of Azriel’s affection for her. 

Namely it was non-existent when the spymaster of the night court didn’t even bother to check if she even wore earrings. 

And the earrings…well…they were only…one thing. Her room at the River Estate that she had been supposed to furnish to her liking…that was another. 

In the end, it had consisted out of her getting a set of the same bedroom furniture as every other guest room and her walls were painted cream like in every other room Feyre hadn’t gotten to yet. It was still as impersonal as it had been when she had moved in. 

She knew that Elain had stuff to litter her bookcases with…gifts from Azriel or Feyre or Lucien, her mate…even Eira had gifted her sister things. 

But all Eira had…were the dresses she had on commission laid out on her desk. Which she would need to return to the shop where she worked as a seamstress at soon enough once she was finished with her alteration on them…and well, that was it. 

No books, because her reading was absolutely atrocious…no little trinkets from any of her sisters…no paintings or art or anything really. 

Just…her sewing and embroidery supplies and that was that…and even these weren’t…held in one of these pretty little wooden sewing boxes on legs that would keep them tidily kept away…

Do you need money? The shadows asked her seriously. 

“What?” Eira asked weakly.

She made some money with her job. Not a lot…but some. All of it carefully stashed away to buy birthday or solstice gifts from…or little trinkets she saw in a shop and thought one of her sisters would like…that Nyx would like. 

Do you need money? They repeated patiently. To buy stuff? For yourself? 

“No, I have money. And I don’t want to owe anybody anything,” she answered quietly, her eyes slowly closing.

 She didn’t want to end like Nesta… were in the end, her habits were used to bludgeon her with…she didn’t…

You wouldn’t. The shadows assured her. We have our own line of credit. 

What? 

“How does that work? Do you have your own bank account?” she asked curiously, and she could nearly feel their amusement. 

We like playing the lottery. Everything we win, we put into Master’s Bank Account, they explained to her earnestly. He never uses it anyway. We could just put our winnings in yours instead. Master wouldn’t care.

It was so ridiculous that she couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Really?” she still asked weakly. 

Really! they assured her seriously. Enough for you to have a shopping spree! We like shiny things, they told her, making her laugh. Master never buys any. We’ll pick up some mail-order catalogues for you and then you can spend tomorrow ordering some things. Maybe some curtains to spruce things up a little. It’s awfully empty in here. 

Still, she couldn’t help but ask. 

“Why are you doing this?” 

Nobody should be treated like you are, they told her fiercely. Nobody should feel like they have no place anywhere.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Girl on Fire

Hi guys!

Here we are for one with Lia, I didn't write for her since ages. It's from that sweet request, and I hope it will please you :)

Please enjoy ♥

TW : Mention of firefighter job, Alcohol, Men (the creepy ones).

The other chapter of the serie "Lia & The Firefighter" is here.

Lia is the sweetest person you ever met. When people learn that you both are dating, they always look so surprised that you found it almost offensive at first. But then you decided that you in fact love the way Lia seeks protection towards you and how she feels in security with you.

You are a firefighter, and you are more than ten centimeters higher than Lia. Because of you work you have to train a lot and you’ve developed a pretty impressive musculature over the years. You have several tattoos spread on different parts of your body and you laughed your heart out when one of Lia’s friends told you that she claimed not to be a fan of tattoo before. You know that Lia loves your tattoos.

You are part of the London Fire Brigade, and you are very proud of it. You aren’t the chief of one of the Brigade, but your place in the team is perfect for you. You sometimes have trouble because you are what your supervisor like to call a hothead, which makes you roll your eyes every time. For you, you are here to save lives and you have to take all the risks for it.

Very early in your relationship with Lia, you found the deal not to tell her which interventions you are working on. She knows when you are working, obviously, but you both realize very quickly that telling her everything is very anxiety-proving, and you obviously don’t want that for her.

You are not living together, but you like finding her at home when your work is finished. She’s your safe place, she doesn’t have to say or do anything special to make you feel good. You just have to be with her, or when she’s away hearing her voice is enough to help you calm down.

You both work great together and you knew really soon in your relationship that you will fall hard for that girl. You were right and here you are, two years, going to her house in St-Albans after your shift. You know that Lia won’t be at home, she went out with some of her teammates in the neighborhood to have fun. But you plan of getting a shower and wait her looking at TV.

You first grab something to eat however, smiling softly at the love note Lia putted on your plate. She putted leftovers in it for you and when you see that it’s one of your favorite meals, you fell in love with her again.

From You Thank you for the leftover Cookie, it was amazing ❤️

From Lia 🧸 With pleasure :) are you waiting for me?

From You I will, but don’t you dare coming home early for me. Enjoy your night, party girl 🔥 I’m going to take a shower anyway

From Lia 🧸 Tease :(

You roll your eyes and send her a kiss emoji before going to the bathroom. Your clothes are respectively around each other’s house, so you put your uniform in the laundry bin without thinking further. The hot water is very welcome to help you wash the day and help your muscles to relax. It was a long day, with stressful interventions. You would have loved to have Lia’s cuddles right now, but she has the right to enjoy her night with her friends.

Another thing you love about Lia, is the way she choses to sleep in oversize t-shirt, who are so big for her that they come down to her knees. She was doing it before you met so you know that she didn’t wear them on purpose, but at least you are able to steal some of her clothes. That’s what you do today, stealing a beige t-shirt that smell like her and will make the job until she comes home.

Before going to the living room to watch TV, you stop in the kitchen to grab a Red Bull that Lia stocks on the fridge for you, even if “It’s an awful drink for your health”. You drink a lot of them, a bad habit maybe, but you hate coffee and that helps you to be focused all day. When you explained that to Lia, she grumbles something in Swiss German but stopped since that day to try to make you stop drinking it.

You watch some stupid TV show while drinking your thing, happy to be able to relax a little bit. You were doing it for twenty minutes when your phone rings and you don’t check the screen because it’s the ringtone reserved for Lia. Which is strange, she’s supposed to come home with Leah.

“Hello?” you frown.

“Am I waking you up?”

You can hear almost immediately that something is wrong, her voice is a little shaky and you stand up instantly without thinking.

“What’s wrong?”

“I… It’s stupid, but there is some creepy guy who tried to hit on Less all night, and he gets drunker every second. She’s safe with us and didn’t want me to call you, but it looks like he’s waiting for her with some of his friends and –“

“I’ll be there in five minutes. Don’t move from where you are, ok?” you cut her.

“Yeah. Ok.”

You met Alessia several times and you like that girl. Not the way you like Lia obviously (you love her in case you haven’t understood), but she’s a friend of your lover. And there is no place in the world where you want your girlfriend not to feel safe, with or without you.

You put a jean and a black hoodie on, before grabbing your keys to jump on your car. Lia shared her location or her phone with you months ago, so you are able to find her very quickly. The club they chose is rather good noted, you have trouble to get inside at first because of your clothes. But when you insist and explain that it was only to get your girlfriend and some of your friends out, they finally let you in. You explained too what was happening and they promised to talk with one of their colleagues to have a better look of the situation.

When you enter, your eyes are like drags like magnets on Lia and you let them get up and down on her, methodically searching for any injuries. But there is nothing and you just have to look at her friends to know that they aren’t hurt either. They just seem uneasy.

Lia must have felt your eyes on her, because she suddenly raises her head in your direction while you are walking to their booth. She gets up and you hug her as soon as you reach her position.

“You alright?” you frown.

The top of her head is at the height of your chin and she has to tilt her head to look at you.

“I’m fine” she nods before turning on the others direction.

There is Alessia obviously, Kyra, Leah and Victoria. The first feels a little bit more uneasy, in purpose. You don’t know how much you impressed Lia’s friends, even when you smile at her like you are doing now.

“Alright Alessia?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry you have to come here, I tried to call my brother, but he didn’t answer.”

“No worries. Should we go?”

They all agree, and you share a look with Lia before putting what you hopped will feel like a recomforting hand between Alessia’s shoulders. When Leah proposed to go to her home, they all agree too.

“Will you come too?” Lia pouts, walking next to you and Alessia.

“If you want to” you answer softly, never able to refuse her anything.

She smiles at you, and you lose yourself several seconds in her beautiful eyes, before feeling Alessia tense next to you.

“It’s them” she mumbles.

You look at the direction she shows you with her eyes, just to see four men in their thirties, more average and boring than ever. They look so smug; it makes you want to go knock them. But you don’t, you know Lia hate this kind of behavior. Plus, you are a firefighter, you are supposed to help people. Even if, in your opinion, put something in their head would help them but that’s another story.

You tense when they whistle Leah, but she shows them her middle finger without any thought and you can’t help but smirk. She was walking in front of you with Kyra and Victoria. But when you pass next to them with Lia and Alessia, one of them walk to stop in front of you.

“Well, Alessia Honey? I thought you will come home with me tonight?”

“She’s not going anywhere with you” you answer before Alessia can even react. “Can you push your damn ass away from here so we can leave please?”

Your ton is cold but still polite. You keep your poker face while the man looks at you with a mixture of haughtiness and surprise. You are a little higher than him, only one or two centimeters maybe. But he seems to finally decide that he might be superior or something.

You groan when he tries to grab Alessia’s arm, passing a protective arm in front of her, making her take two steps backward.

“Don’t fucking touch her” you warn, approaching your face of his.

“Oh yeah? And who’s gonna stop me? You?”

He snorts with arrogance, and you take all you have not to punch him. But then he tries to push you, not making you move a little bit. You are smirking when you talk again.

“Watch me.”

Just when you were arming your fist to punch him, someone grab it. You want to extricate your hand from the surprise grip, but you only need half a second to realize that it’s Lia. At the same time, the man who was at the entry and another security guy came to you. Without ceremony, they take Alessia’s creep to make him leave.

“I’m sorry Ma’am” the guy says. “You can enjoy your night now.”

“We were leaving actually. Can you make sur that he’s not waiting for her at the entry?”

“I will, promise. Just give me some minutes yeah?”

You nod and watch him go outside, before turning in Alessia’s direction while your arm itself wraps around Lia’s waist, without you really thinking about it.

“You alright?” you ask her for the second time of the night.

“Yes. Damn I really thought you’ll kill him.”

You are content to smile at her with complicity without saying anything. You would probably have wreck him, to be honest. But Lia is still next to you, and you know how much she hates violence. Even if it’s to protect one of her friends.

When the man comes back to tell you that you can go, you find the three other girls in the street to go to Leah. You learn in the car that Caitlin and Katie will come too, but it doesn’t change anything for you. You like both of them too.

“How did that guy know her name?” you frown towards Alessia when you are walking to Leah’s house.

“I was stupid. I told him, he was really nice at first. I didn’t know things will turn that way” she mumbles, cheeks red.

“It’s not stupid, you don’t have to defend yourself I was just curious. Plus, you couldn’t know he was a psychopath” you pat her shoulder affectionally.

She smiles softly at you and go straight for a drink in Leah’s kitchen. In the living room, Kyra is relating what happened in the nightclub, exaggerating without any embarrassment most of the details of the story. You roll your eyes and just go sit next to Lia, who smiles at you.

“Here is my little terror” Lia coos.

“Stop” you smile shyly, hiding your face in her neck.

Lia laughs and passes her arms around your body. She’s warm and soft, and you are really tired. You melt against her, enjoying happily her stroking on your back. You were almost dozing off when you hear Katie’s voice.

“Can’t believe that teddybear is turning in Hulk outside of Wally’s arms”

“She was scary honestly” Kyra says.

“Fuck you” you grumble in Lia’s neck.

“Someone’s already working on it darling”

You can hear Katie’s smile in her voice, and you just take slightly your face away of Lia’s neck. You just have to look at her with one eye to see that you were right, the playful smile on the Irish girl being present.

You know it’s only a friendly teasing though, you learned to know Lia’s teammates during the last months, and you like them all. With her temper, Katie is maybe the one who is the closest to your character. Except when you’re with Lia, once again.

“Don’t wake the beast again Katie” Kyra laughs.

You throw a pillow at Katie, making her laugh, before turning in Lia’s direction. She’s already looking at you and you put a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“You are beautiful tonight” you said softly, even if the attention of the others isn’t on you anymore.

You let your eyes appreciating her outfit and Lia blushes slightly but kiss your cheek anyway.

“Aren’t you tired?” she asks soon after.

You look at her two seconds, hesitating to lie to her before choosing the truth. You shrug anyway, trying to dismiss how much tired you are.

“I am. But I’ll stay, I want to stay with you”

“No, let’s go home, come on.”

Lia stands up without hesitation. You say your goodbyes to anyone, following Lia who you hold her hand, not letting her go until you have to start your car.

“Thanks for coming tonight” Lia says after some minutes.

“Of course. Like I would leave you alone like this” you yawn.

“Was it a long day?”

You throw a quick look at her, just to see her looking at you once again. Sometimes, you know that she would like to know what you have done during the day. But like you said before, it’s not a good idea.

“Yeah. A long day” you mumble.

You don’t say anything else. Car accidents, fire, you never say anything. Even when you come back home with slight injuries. Your thoughts are quickly turned back in reality when Lia kisses your fingers, putting you away of the memories of your day.

You let Lia go take a shower while you change your clothes again and let yourself fall on your stomach on the bed. You must have fall asleep, because what looks several seconds after, a fresh showered Lia is slipping under the sheets beside you. You roll on your side to snuggle against her, closing your eyes almost soon after.

“Love you” you mumble against the skin of her shoulder.

“Love you too, Pookie. Sleep tight.”

You mumble something back, but you are already almost asleep, and you are pretty sure that Lia was not able to understand the slightest word. It doesn’t matter. She has you, you have her and it’s perfect that way.

[hoe4sports]

Nobody likes the angry girl

A note from the author: I saw a video that hit home. It was a tiktok about being told that “nobody likes the angry girl”. I was the angry girl as a child, and by now you probably know that this is a fic based off of my life. I am not enabling this kind of behaviour, but I’m trying to show you how it can feel to struggle with trauma. Traumas need constant work, love and attention.

If you are struggling with the same thing; you are not a monster. You will get there. It’s not your fault. I love you.

Credits: This is based off a tiktok that I saw, you can find it here. Courtesy of @young.Riley on TikTok.

Warning: Trauma, anger, anxiety

Summary: Your childhood has caused more damage than Alexia could ever believe.

⚠️If you feel easily triggered or overwhelmed, read with caution and take breaks. If you need to, please seek a mental health hotline.

—

“Nobody likes the angry girl”. That was a sentence that would be thrown after you as if it was a knife. Your mother would use it when you did something she didn’t like. Speaking up for yourself, telling her how you felt, wanting her love or being upset. She would describe you as angry if you weren’t a pleasure or the quiet girl.

Alexia however, she is patient with the angry girl. She understands the angry girl because she took her time to understand her. She asked the questions and listened to the stories. She knew what caused you to become the angry girl. How your mother’s words cut through your back causing scars in your heart. Alexia knew that the angry girl carried her heart outside her sleeve. She loved the angry girl with every cell in her body.

The Spanish heat was flowing in through the kitchen windows. You breathed in the air filling your lungs all the way up. Your body felt sweaty after working in the garden for a while. It was mid day, and you had gotten the week off. It was a nice change, your workplace had decided to work on their employees wellbeing giving all of your colleagues a week off. You see, that was the recipe for a perfect week. Only, whenever you got too much time off: your mind and unconsciousness would deep dive into your childhood making your mood miserable and leaving your emotions on edge.

You decided that the best thing to do was to head into the shower, so you approached the bedroom where you pulled out a pair of black athletic bike shorts and a blue athletic long sleeve. Just as you were about to close the door to the wall in closet, you noticed that alexia had left clothes in the floor. Not just on the floor, but right next to the laundry basket. The mishap itched you the wrong way. “Of course”, you mumbled to yourself, “of course she would leave me to pick it up when she knows that I hate when she does that.” You reached for the clothes before chucking it into the basket. It made you feel annoyed. Like your blood was boiling. But you pushed it down. You didn’t want to have a meltdown, not when Alexia had a stressful week.

When you entered the bathroom, you quickly started the water making the shower heat up before getting undressed. That was when you noticed the toothpaste on the mirror. Your face dropped when you saw it. Jesus, you thought, you just cleaned it yesterday. It made it feel like Alexia didn’t appreciate your hard work of trying to keep the house in shape. You grabbed a rag after spraying the mirror, washing the full length of the mirror. You couldn’t just was the one spot with toothpaste, because then it would cause streaks. And you hated streaks. When you turned around to feel the temperature of the running water with your hand, you stepped into cold water with your socks. It made you feel furious. “Oh my god” you mumbled to yourself. You took a deep breath with your eyes closed. Then, your hands reached for a dry towel to wipe up the water that Alexia had left for you to step on.

But, your hand didn’t find anything. You turned your head to see that there were no towels. You took a quick deep breath feeling as if you were about to explode. The robe that was hanging on its hook came to use when you wrapped yourself in it heading into the linen closet to restock towels. Alexia knew that there were fresh towels in the closet. They were neatly folded, white cream towels made out of bamboo. You grabbed the bunch that were sitting on the shelf before stomping your way into the bathroom. The towels got placed in its shelf before you wiped up Alexia’s mess from earlier this morning.

You see, the thing about being the angry girl is that it becomes your identity. You are never smart, talented, beautiful or a joy; because in your mother’s eyes, all you are is the angry girl. When she gave you silent treatment as a 5 year old and you cried for days begging her to speak to you. The first thing she said when you sat there, tears filling your eyes was that nobody likes the angry girl. It hurt like a gunshot. And whenever she used it, it felt like you got shot again. And again. And again. And again. Even though you don’t talk to your mother anymore, you are still the angry girl in her eyes. You will never be anything more.

After your shower, you sat down on the toilet while drying off. Your hand instantly reached for your phone which lead you to watch TikTok. It was childishly enough the only thing that would give your brain a pause. Some days, you had to take yourself on a timeout to watch TikTok with your headphones underneath your blanket it your dark bedroom. Maybe it was the feeling of overwhelming that hit you and maybe that was why this became the solution? Or perhaps it was because whenever you said anything about your feelings, your mother would tell you to go to your bedroom?

You kept watching TikTok before you reached for the toilet paper. And, lo and behold, there was no toilet paper. You could’ve sworn that your eye twitched for a second. But you reached out to the cabinet underneath the sink and popped the new roll on the holder before getting rid of the empty roll.

After feeling the anger building up inside you like a tidal wave, you decided to try to have something to eat. Perhaps, you thought, just perhaps you are hangry and it will all pass once you’ve had some food. Then you remembered that you had leftovers from Lasagna in the refrigerator. You peered into the kitchen and opened the big fridge door before feeling your heart sink. No lasanga. Alexia had brought it with her to practice. It made you frown because you knew damn well that Alexia had all kinds of food in the Barca cafeteria that she would eat from. Even fresh lasagna.

In a need to calm yourself down, you decided to go for a drive to the grocery store. You put on some makeup and do your hair all nice before grabbing your purse and heading out. You press the keyless start button in your car and there is a flashing sign. You are out of gas. Alexia borrowed your car yesterday. You feel your blood boiling. You hop out of your car before smacking the door as hard as you can. Then you stomp your way upstairs to the bedroom to hide from the world and your own problems. You stay hidden in the bedroom for hours. Hiding underneath your weighted blanket hoping that you will fall asleep. That’s one of the angry girl strategies, sleeping. She will close her eyes and keep them shut for hours to avoid confrontation.

But, the attempt to calm down is quickly paused. Your eyes peer open when you hear Alexia’s familiar footsteps in the hallway. “Hola, amor!” She calls out. You can tell that she’s in a good mood. The kind of mood that makes you feel sick to your bones when the angry girl is out. You tuck the blanket around your head so only your face sticks out. “..Amor? Are you sick, no?” Alexia asks softly when she opens up the door to the bedroom. You huff out in response hoping to keep the angry girl away. Alexia sits down next to you on the bed. She gives you the most loving look. It makes the angry girl scared. God, you think. You are so unloveable. Your eyes starts to look like glass, but Alexia dosent seem to catch it. “I’ll go make you some tea. Blueberry?” she askes before placing a kiss on your forehead. You nod in response.

Why is the world against me today, you think. Keeping your head calm when the storm is flaring up isn’t easy, the angry girl inside you is peeking out from the heavy blackout curtains she normally is forced to hide behind. You see, the angry girl looks big and scary. She’s hiding behind curtains as she takes up the whole room. But, the angry girl isn’t a big girl. She’s small. She’s little. She looks big because of the shadows from the lights, but she is small. She is so small. She’s easy to hurt. And she’s sensitive.

The angry girl comes out with a bang. Alexia drops the cup in the kitchen causing you to practically jump out of bed. It scares you shameless, and the angry girl feels put on the spot. You stomp into the kitchen, your face strained and your body tight. You look at the cup on the ground. Or, what was left of it. You instantly recognise it. That is what causes the angry girl to jump out. “ALEXIA!! Seriously?? My moomin mug? From my grandmother?? Seriously?? You are so clumsy, so irresponsible! God, you are so fucking annoying! Why do you ruin everything!” The angry girl yells out feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Alexia looks caught off guard before her looks softens. “You are right mi vida, i shouldn’t have dropped it. Lo siento mucho princesa” she speaks softly. Her body slowly moves towards you. When she dosent get angry back, the little girl feels scared. For some reason, that causes the angry girl to feel threatened. “Don’t fucking touch me, Alexia! Don’t you dare to fucking touch me!” The angry girl yells before turning around and sprinting to the bedroom. Your hand quickly turns the lock before your throw yourself on the bed, face looking into the wall as tears of anger swells in your eyes. You can hear Alexia outside of the door. “Leave me alone!! God, will you ever fucking learn? I should just move out!!” The angry girl screams before pulling the blanket over your head. You lay completely still with your eyes squeezed shut causing you to fall asleep within minutes.

The angry girl haunts your head monthly. It used to be weekly, and in periods; even daily. You don’t purposely let the angry girl out, but sometimes she claws her way out of the deepest darkest rooms where you normally keep her. The angry girl is a result of trauma, event though you sometimes let yourself believe that she is who you are. A part of your personality. A part of you. The angry girl hurt you for years. But you, Alexia and your psychiatrist worked together to get you where you are today.

The thing about the angry girl is that she isn’t really big. She’s a little girl. When the little girl comes out to play, she gets scared. She hides in the bedroom in fear that someone might yell at her. Or disown her. Or not talk to her. To hide is how so stays protected. Her talent is hide and seek. She tiptoes into the bathroom at night, terrified to wake someone up. She sneaks snacks when nobody is watching and god forbid someone catches her: she always ask if she’s allowed food. As a young little girl, she craved love, she craved to be seen and she craved to feel wanted. But she wasn’t allowed to feel those feelings. She was starved of the feelings. She creeps along the shadows of the hallway avoiding showing herself until she is trapped in a corner. That’s when the little girl becomes the angry girl. When she is trapped, and there is nowhere to hide and it feels like the world is about to end. But because Alexia is there, the world doesn’t end.

-

An hour later, you wake up by someone softly playing your hair. You can hear the low buzz of the bedroom tv. The slow beats of Alexia’s heart. The warmth of her lap. The embarrassment and the sadness fills your body. Tears make your eyes glass-like. You move your hand slightly. “Feeling better amore?” Alexia hums at you, not stopping her comforting movements. “I’m so sorr-“ you speak before your voice breaks and your body fills with regret and embarrassment. You feel so angry with yourself. Why are you like this? Why can’t you just communicate instead of letting everything blow up? You don’t know how to stop it, and you are terrified that it will drive Alexia away. “You don’t deserve this..” you mumble moving your hand to alexia’s knee.

“Mi amor, it’s not your fault that you were treated badly as a kid so don’t be sorry for breaking something that you didn’t break. You will get there with time and patience, and I’ll be with you every step of the way. Te amo mucho and that is never gonna change. Vale?”

Alexia looks down on you smile long softly before kissing your head.

«Vale, te amo, Ale. Te amo mucho”