#i’m burnt out from the semester but i need to get this out of my system
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editing in progress instead of writing a final essay. gonna email them and said i had a business to tend to,,, would love to hear thoughts because i have ideas but i usually do a ROUGH first draft,,,, im gonna add minnie for the “now you’re the only one here who can tell me if it’s true, that you love me and i love me” because clearly i am sick and twisted ! but yeah no this isn’t finished at all !!!
#late night with the devil#jack delroy#lnwtd#edit#wip#editing#i’m burnt out from the semester but i need to get this out of my system#do you guys think jack delroy would have fancams in the 70s#david dastmalchian#they might be giants#kiss me son of god
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#one of my silly little goals this year is to talk more about my accomplishments even though they aren’t super recent#I’m tired of resigning myself to being a burnt out former gifted kid. I studied at Oxford for a term.#I taught a college class. I TA’d for two other college classes. and volunteer TA’d for the department’s hardest course offering#because I was already being used as a TA that semester for a different class and the professor still wanted someone to run review sessions#I had professors fighting over me to do work and research for them! I had departments fighting over me! I did summer research!#I was the first person in my department in nearly a decade to ask to do a senior thesis. for fun.#I ran programs and clubs and I was a writing tutor for the writing center AND the resume lab/career center#I was the only person in my writing professor’s tenure to earn a 100 on my research paper for that stupid fucking class#in high school I was second in my class and did it while writing one-act plays for production and doing district choirs and acting#I’m so so so tired of beating myself up and falling to my knees and doing penance for the past 4 years.#I fumbled some stuff at the start of my 20’s. I’m an adult with ADHD that no one clocked while I was growing up.#I was supposed to go to St Andrews for an MLitt and then the pandemic happened and I had to withdraw.#I just need to get over it and stop agonizing over every misstep I’ve made since college#otherwise I’m never going to make it out of my 20’s alive#so yeah. for those of you who don’t know! I am a silly cumdrunk braindead good girl PART-TIME#the rest of the time I’m clawing my way back to the high standards I set for myself from first grade onward#my stuff#ignore me i’m rambling
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i asked to work 4 days when the most i ever worked has been 3 i hope it doesn’t feel too overwhelming for me
#i only work part time bc i’m a student#so during the semester i’ll only work 2/3 days and i asked my manager to give me 3 after the semester finished#and a couple days ago i asked him to put me for 4 since i’m not doing much this summer and i need the money#but i feel like i get burnt out and overwhelmed from working easily so i’m scared it’ll be worse if i work 4 days#idk i feel like it’s my adhd that makes work so overwhelming for me#but my job is relatively chill so i think i’ll be okay#it’ll feel worth it when i get my check for sure#i’m sure i can handle it as well#diary
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₊˚⊹ ᰔ it-girl school tips ᝰ.ᐟ
a new semester is around the corner for a lot of us, and i’m seeing so many blog posts about study/school tips, and i thought i’d share a few of my own that i’ve began to implement into my own school routine that helped me succeed during the fall semester!
just to preface: i took 2, almost 3, gap years after my first year at a university. i realized i was so burnt out after high school and my mental health wasn’t where i needed it to be, so i took a very much needed break! i started back up in school earlier last year in the spring, and i am flourishing! i’ve reconnected with my love and passion for my education and i’ve eased myself back into a comfortable, but effective, routine that’s helped me succeed!
let’s begin !!
ᝰ.ᐟ find/create a good study environment
having a cozy, comfortable, and nice place to get your studying done will make your sessions so much more enjoyable! you’ll feel more motivated to get work done in a space that you feel good in! so whether it be your own space, your favorite café, or even your school’s library, having a good environment to focus on your schoolwork will increase your productivity and make you feel good about studying!
a darling mutual of mine created this post that has helpful tips on creating your desired study space - @glowettee ♡︎ i also highly recommend her page for other tips related to studying, personal growth, & just becoming that girl!
ᝰ.ᐟ make use of a planner
planners are essential in maintaining organization throughout the semester/school year! whether it’s a digital or physical planner, find one that’s appealing to you! find a planner that suits your aesthetic, or your desired aesthetic, and make good use of it. it’ll help you keep track of what days & times you have a certain class, important due dates, and planning out your homework schedule!
if you have a pretty plain planner, decorate it! use fun or aesthetically pleasing stickers and use fun colored pens & highlighters; just make it super personable to you!
ᝰ.ᐟ organize, organize, organize
make sure any and all paperwork for all of your courses are organized! i personally love using accordion folders because they have tabs that you can label for each class or each week of a class! having some kind of organization method will keep you and your schoolwork in check!
how to maintain organization:
as your semester progresses, it gets pretty easy to let your organization slip through the cracks and turn into a mess.
create an organized binder to store older papers from your courses! this will be useful when midterms or finals come around and you need to look back at old worksheets, handouts, etc. you can have a big binder that’s divided by different tabs dedicated to each class you’re taking or you can get different binders for each class and organize that way!
throw out anything that no longer serves you! amongst all the papers, notes, packets, there’s bound to be things that you will no longer need. toss them out, shred them, just get rid of them! the more papers you have stocked up in folders or binders, the less room you’ll have to keep track of the real important stuff
track each week of the semester! keep that syllabus handy so you can keep track of what’s going on for each week in your classes. when you reach the point of midterms, a long weekend, or even a break (like spring break) find some time to look at the past weeks & the weeks ahead and reorganize and just reset your organization of papers, notes, etc.
ᝰ.ᐟ create a checklist for your assignments
as your classes pile up, so will your homework, and it starts to get overwhelming when you start thinking about everything you have to complete for the week. creating a checklist for what needs to get done will allow you to prioritize the most important assignments, help you practice time management, and also feel satisfaction as you check off each assignment!
this helped me immensely throughout the semester. majority of my classes were 8 week courses, so everything was pretty fast paced and due dates came up a lot sooner than i thought. whenever i made a checklist for everything i needed to do, it eased a lot of my stress because i allowed myself to break down each class and the corresponding assignments & it made me realize that i didn’t have too much to do (or at least i tricked my brain into thinking that)
i made my checklist literally through my notes app on my phone, and it was so satisfying to add the little green checkmark emoji after each assignment!
ᝰ.ᐟ don’t be afraid to ask questions
any time i struggled in a class and i was too afraid/embarrassed to ask a question, i ended up doing poorly in that class and it made studying and completing assignments so much more challenging for me. so don’t be afraid to ask questions! your teachers/professors/instructors are there to help you! they’re there to answer any and all questions you might have! asking questions also just helps you understand the material better and get any clarification you might need!
the more questions you ask, the better informed you are, and the more likely you’ll succeed!
ᝰ.ᐟ use school supplies you love
having those aesthetically pleasing school supplies actually gave me so much more motivation to get work done! using stuff that you’re excited to use during your semester will make doing schoolwork & studying so much more enjoyable for you!
ᝰ.ᐟ set the mood for your study sessions
listen to a good study playlist, light a candle, set up some cozy lighting, grab your favorite drink, and just set a good, calming mood for yourself while you study! i love having lofi play softly in the background while i’m studying, and since i do most of my studying at home, i make the lighting in my room nice and dim and get my desk lamp set up. i’ll also have a cup of coffee, tea, or water near by that i can sip on!
ᝰ.ᐟ take breaks
burn-out is extremely real and you’ll quickly feel it when you spend majority of your time studying and giving yourself way less time to rest and relax.
for longer study sessions, take 20 min. breaks after each hour! i remember taking an english course when i first started college and one of the books we were required to read was one on studying tips! (i really wish i remembered what it was called, i unfortunately misplaced it) one of the things i remembered from that book was the 20 minute rule. this time slot allows you an ample amount of time to rest your mind and take a break! you can rest your eyes, scroll through your phone, stand up/stretch and grab a snack, or just step away from your study area for 20 minutes!
set a timer! let’s say you wanna work on homework for an hour & a half, set a timer and just do all the work that you can within that time. once your timer goes off, stop doing what you’re doing and set another timer with the same amount of time to go do something you enjoy or get yourself to relax!
i can’t stress this enough: please take breaks. your mental/emotional well-being should always be your top priority! you can’t do your best in school if you, yourself, are not doing the best.
𝜗𝜚 final notes 𝜗𝜚
being that girl in school is only possible when you put your best foot forward. stay on top of your self care, keep yourself organized, and come up with a routine! a good routine will get you great results!
i wish you all a great start of your upcoming semester and i know that every single one of you will flourish during it too!
live and love, babe.
sincerely, juno ⭑.ᐟ
#milkoomis#girlblogger#girlblogging#it girl#that girl#it girl tips#becoming that girl#studyblr#study motivation#school#school advice#study tips#study movitation#self improvement#study blog#student#student life#girl blog aesthetic
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Hard Light | Chapter 1
summary: when a new english professor begins teaching your class for the duration of your semester, you can’t help but develop an innocent crush on him. he’s as off-limits as he can be, but that doesn’t deter you in the slightest. after a drunk night, you accidentally email him something that wasn’t intended to ever be seen by anyone. but that doesn’t matter. it triggers a misunderstanding that manifests into an affair with your professor who is twenty years your senior. nothing good could come of this, right?
pairings: professor!joel x college student!reader
word count: 2.2K
series or one-shot
warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, no mention of Y/N, alternate universe, professor/student relationship, eventual smut, self-esteem issues, workaholic, joel x female!reader, infatuation bordering on obsession (stay delulu friends), some sexual thoughts, masturbation (f), joel being a huge tease lol, (will add more tags as i write)
AN: i am so excited by the response that my joel one-shot got a few days ago and i’ve been itching to get something else out to you all. big, giant forehead kisses for those who want one, i love you all. so, anyway, a mini-series about professor joel is coming at you fast. i’ve written the first few chapters, so expect those in the near future. i’m thinking once a week? this fic is going to be something else and i’m so excited to share it with ya’ll. enjoy, and let me know what you think. find my ao3 here for more content and other fandoms.
You were running late for your shift at the coffee shop on campus, rummaging around your dresser, trying to find the low-cut black top you always wore when you had a shift. You weren’t usually one to feed into the peer pressure of those around you, but push came to shove when you found it nearly impossible to keep yourself afloat as a twenty-something student without the added extra tips from your part-time job.
So what if you had to show a little bit of cleavage? Right? There was no harm. Student loans were a bitch and on top of rent and food costs, you had to get a job at the coffee shop and balance a full course load just to make ends meet.
A thought popped into your head and you rushed to your laptop, throwing it open as you checked the time; 5:45 AM. If you busted out your lightning-fast typing skills, you would have enough time to catch the next bus and make it to campus with five minutes to spare. If only your crappy second-hand computer would work.
The thing honestly sounded like a chopper engine, getting ready for lift-off. You were surprised you’d gotten this far with it. Not that you weren’t appreciative, your older brother had passed it down and it had relieved a huge weight— and expense off of your shoulders.
You tabbed into your school portal, typing in your credentials and selecting your English course. You sighed heavily, as you skimmed over the assignment for this week, something to do with a sonnet that you couldn’t care less about. You loved school but ever since becoming an English major, the spark that you once had for literature sort of just evaporated.
You couldn’t tell if it was because of how busy you were with everything else that you just couldn’t find the time to enjoy it, or the thought that really scared you, you had fallen out of love with it.
It had been two years of go, go, go and you were, for lack of a better word, burnt out. You’d tried dropping courses last semester, thinking that you just needed a little bit of ease when it came to your course load, but when that didn’t solve the problem and only made things worse for you, you spent the last two semesters trying to catch up and get yourself to a place where you could finally breathe.
But it wasn’t easy. You were only now caught up to where you had been, the illusion that you were someone who could afford to take time off and slow down was a distant memory.
In bold letters, the words Paid Internship jumped off of the screen. You smiled as you leaned in closer to the screen, making sure you read through everything correctly. This was the break above the surface that you needed, the reprieve that you had been chasing. A paid internship was exactly how you’d be able to make more money and maybe have a little breathing room before you worked yourself into an early grave.
You clicked the mail icon at the top and clicked into a new email, deciding that the worst-case scenario was that you wouldn’t get the internship. All you were doing was inquiring about the application process. Best-case scenario; you’d get it and make some extra pocket money.
You saw the time, cursing under your breath as you slammed the laptop closed, grabbed your phone out of the charger and ran out of the door. You couldn’t be late, not again. You texted your co-worker Jeremy to open the shop without you and explained to him that you were running a few minutes late, as you barely made it to the bus. You climbed on board, scanned your student pass and found a seat near the back. Your chest was burning from the rush of trying to make it on time, but you could breathe easy now.
You checked your messages mindlessly, scrolling through a bunch of unread ones that you didn’t have the heart to answer.
Before you knew it, the familiar monuments and buildings of UT Austin came into view, and the subtle change of scenery from downtown to a more densely packed area made your heart skip a beat. It was the same each time you were back on campus. Which, these days, was often. Sliding out of the seat, you made your way to the front, thanking the driver as the bus came to a complete stop.
The coffee shop was only a short walk from the bus stop but even still you quickened your pace. You didn't want to leave Jeremy alone for long, you already felt bad enough about letting him open by himself. You stifled a yawn as you pushed open the door to the small cafe, leaning your body into the door, slightly cringing at the shrill sound of the bell.
"There you are", a male voice called, making your head snap up. You wiggled your nose, the familiar timbre of your ex-boyfriend's voice ringing in your ears. "It's about time you got your ass down here".
You snickered, shrugging your heavy bag off of your shoulder, and dropping it behind the counter, turning around and greeting him with an unamused smirk.
Jeremy and you had gone out for a few months last year, it was your first and, as of right now, the only short-term relationship that you'd had in college.
Dating your co-worker, even in a relatively small place like the coffee shop on campus, almost always spelled trouble, but Jeremy was not the type to hold something like a failed relationship over your head. He understood that school was a priority for you and making a living for yourself came first, even above something like a relationship. It might not be the healthiest way to live, but it was how it always was.
Jeremy and you had developed a fast friendship, one that went beyond the romantic relationship that you'd had last year. You parted amicably and now, you had someone you could confide in, someone you could trust.
"Why don't you say that to my face?", you teased, raising a brow at him over the milk frother you were setting up.
Jeremy threw his rag down and stalked over to you. "You're snippy this morning", he chided.
You banged into his shoulder playfully, "Doesn't help that I have to see your ugly mug first thing in the morning".
You snorted out a laugh and Jeremy looked at you, feigning defensiveness, "Ouch", he paused, returning back to his post near the coffee machine, "Remind me how we ever went out?".
You scrunched your nose and threw your rag at Jeremy, hitting him square in the face with it, "That was rude".
He shrugged his shoulder, "You started it".
You both devolved into a fit of giggles and fell into a comfortable silence, setting up and getting the coffee shop ready for the day. You had a half-day shift to look forward to and then you had class until the late afternoon. The days were long and the nights were longer.
You usually found yourself nose-deep in your textbooks, more often than not, or some classic novel that was required for class, not moving from the couch until your eyes were red and you were seeing double.
Only then did you retire to sleep, crashing hard until you had to wake up and do it all again the next day.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
The coffee shop had been bustling with people since six in the morning, and at one in the afternoon, it hadn't let up, only now you had to go to class. Waving Jeremy goodbye, you sidestepped Tara, the fourth-year who was covering the rest of the afternoon and closing shift.
You'd crossed the far side of campus, passing by the science building and one of the massive libraries that had acted like a second home to you back when you’d been studying for exams when you were a freshman. You could thank your obnoxious roommates for that one.
Entering the lecture hall, bodies pressed into you as you weaved through the growing crowd, trying to find a spot in the middle where you could see and hear your English professor. But also blend in with the masses. As if the universe had other plans in mind, and everyone suddenly showed up to the Tuesday lecture all at the same time, you found yourself picking a seat near the front, an exasperated groan leaving you.
You hated sitting at the front, not because you didn't want to get called on to answer something or because you didn't know the answers, but because you did. You wanted to get through your four years as quickly and unscathed as possible and if people knew, mainly professors, that you knew more about the subject matter than you needed to, you'd surely get called on more often, making you stick out in ways you didn't want.
It was a terrible curse, going through life with the self-esteem that you did. But it was how you were raised. Blend in. Don't be too loud. Be quiet and only observe. Nerves rapped at your insides when you thought about getting called on when class started. Your heart rate ticked up and you found that your hands were beginning to get clammy, your throat constricting with each breath.
You rubbed your hands up and down your thighs, grounding yourself with the sensation of the material.
With a jump, you sat up straighter in your seat, being jostled from your thoughts by a loud slam. You snapped your head toward the entrance, eying the person who had startled everyone. It was a man carrying a briefcase.
Your lips tilted up at the edges, amusement tickling you when you thought of anyone using a briefcase nowadays. But here this man was, head down as he made his way to the front of the room, toward the desk.
You couldn't help keeping your eyes trained on him. On how his slacks tightened around his butt, moulding to the shape and curve of it. You bit your bottom lip out of reflex, your eyes dragging down the length of the mystery man who had crashed your lecture. Maybe he was a TA? Your brows furrowed when you thought about how your professor was nowhere in sight.
The man with the briefcase placed his case on the desk, turning to face the audience of students who blinked back at him, who now settled down enough to hear him speak. Air caught in your throat when his eyes flicked momentarily to you, and lingered on you for half a second longer than you'd expected. He had massive, warm brown eyes, and soft wrinkles that danced at the edges of his eyes when he smiled, making him seem more boyish than he appeared.
He looked older than a TA would but then again, who were you to judge someone's position in life? You thought that his age did nothing to undermine just how attractive he was, if anything it added to it.
The man, who may or may not have been moonlighting as your English TA cleared his throat, nodding his head, "My name is Joel, well, Professor Miller to most, but 've always been a little bit more informal than my peers".
He began to circle the wooden desk nervously, his large hand finding the edge of it and stroking it far more sensually than necessary. You flexed your fingers, gripping the arm of your seat to stabilize yourself. "So, you can call me Joel from here on out... since we'll be seeing more of each other from now on".
Murmurs began to break out around the lecture hall, and confused and hushed whispers followed.
Professor Miller— Joel, mumbled something incoherent, and you were unable to hear it from where you sat. He cleared his throat again, "Professor McCarthy has taken a leave of absence, so I'll be filling in for him for the remainder of the semester".
You crossed your legs, feeling heat rise and a furious blush break out across your face, and shuffled in your seat, a loud creak emitted from it and you stilled, praying that the loud sound had only been heard by you and no one else. But when you lifted your gaze, Joel's eyes were already locked on you, blown and brimming with cautious inquiry. A touch of a smirk graced his lips.
"And I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you, personally". His eyes were still on you, not ready to release you from their hold.
His tongue darted out to wet his lips and you couldn't help but stare. You had every reason to look away from him, he was your professor and given the clear age difference, he was someone who was off limits. But when he didn't look away from you either, trapping you with his gaze, your face heated up, suddenly aware that he was purposely staring at you.
You swallowed thickly, heart hammering as Joel's eyes finally drifted away from you and back to the faces of your classmates. He continued on with addressing the class, and you noticed that he avoided your eyes for the rest of the lecture.
Only one thought rang through your mind as you tried and failed to focus back on the lecture. This was going to be one long semester.
#teacher x student#teacher attachment#pedro pascal#joel miller#the last of us#joel tlou#joel the last of us#pedropascaledit#college au#joel miller imagine#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#tlou hbo#tlou2#the last of us fic#the last of us fanfic#writeblr#fanfiction writer#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedropascal#pedro is daddy#i love pedro pascal#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal fanfic#my fic#joel miller x you
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Ahh the courses look great [my Mc is opting for Psych] but I wonder how will the classes and exams will go? You're spoiling us with so many options to choose from but I also don't want u to get overwhelmed and burn out while writing them all
your worries are legitimate, dear bonnie, but i’ll say i’m currently handling it alright. sure, it’s a bit of a pain in the ass to look through the course catalogues and designing it myself but i just consider it my creative process atp.
as per my plans, each semester will have a quiz or two that y’all will have to take. that, alongside the assignments you’ll get will constitute for 30-35% of your grades. there are also the mid-term and end-term exams that y’all will also need to take for 65-70% of your grades.
for quizzes, y’all just need to answer like 3 questions and the rest would be done without an input. the minimum possible grade is B+ (87-89%).
for exams, there will be around 7 questions, more or less. the minimum possible grade is B (83-86%).
for assignments, just relax cause MC’s worst is still better than most of the class 🤷🏻
the notes will be provided in the stats just in case y’all didn’t pay attention or are just speedrunning through it all.
the minimum possible grade may go lower as MC progresses through their degree and starts to get burnt out.
#i don’t want to get too ambitious and add more variables since we already have a lot of it already#but this is my plan for now#if: the ballad of the young gods#interactive fiction#interactive novel#interactive story#twine wip
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Let Me Try To Understand, Angel
Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Being Stressed About School and Burnt Out
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.6K
Summary: Y/N isn't acting like she normally does and Rafe is on a mission to help her out.
Masterlist
As their first semester as sophomores comes to an end, Rafe has noticed the way that Y/N has been withdrawing from the world. He has been trying everything to get her to come out with him, but each text is met with a simple no thank you. Instead of anger filling him, worry is the only thing that Rafe can feel. He hasn’t been in her dorm often because his private room in the frat house is more intimate for them. He quietly knocks on the door, waiting for someone to let him in. Very little light from the room spills into the hallway. Y/N’s hair looked a little greasy, so she threw it up into a bun. She is wearing a large oversized hoodie with sweatpants that are just a little too big for her. Her eyes are droopy and she looks like her soul has been sucked out of her body. The smile that normally spreads across her face doesn’t appear and this tells Rafe that something is wrong. “Angel, are you okay? You haven’t been answering my text,” he questions, stepping closer to her with his hands reaching for her shoulder. She uncharacteristically steps away from his hold, “Yeah, I’ve been busy.” She doesn’t add anything to her statement.
“Oh. Well, maybe I can just hang out in your room right now. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” he offers, hands falling to his side. She shakes her head, trying to push him out the door, “Rafe, I really don’t want to be around anyone right now. Can you go?” “I will, but I can tell something is wrong. Your room is so dark. It’s not like you,” he confesses.
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Then let me try to understand, Angel. I can’t do that if you try to push me away. Maybe, I can help or I can just listen.”
At the offer of having someone to vent to, a huge weight feels like it is being lifted off of her shoulders. She collapses into his arms and buries her head into his chest. “I just feel so burnt out. Everything I have to do, even the smallest of tasks, takes so much out of me. I haven’t read a page of my book since last week. I’m just going through the motions of life. I don’t think I can do this anymore, Rafe,” she rants to him. His hand smoothes down her hair and he kisses her temple, “I’m so sorry, you are feeling this way. What can I do to help lighten your load? Do you want me to pay someone to do the rest of your assignments? Because I will. I will do anything to help you.” She lets out a snotty giggle with a shake of her head, “No, no. I can get through my own assignments. But do you think I can stay at your house for a few days and can we take a shower together?” This would be something new to them. She stays at his house a lot, but she only sleeps over every other day. This would be the first time she slept more than two nights in a row at his house. “I just need to be with you,” she adds in a whisper. He kisses her head, “Of course, you can stay as long as you want. Why don’t you take a really quick power nap? I’ll pack your stuff up for you.”
As she watches her boyfriend get her stuff into bags, she can’t help but be grateful that she met someone as caring and loving, whose attention is always on helping her well-being.
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @queen-shadow22 @victory-in-the-llama
#let me angel#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron oneshot#rafe cameron series#rafe cameron imagine#obx fic#rafe obx#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe fanfiction#outer banks rafe#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#outer banks x reader#outerbanks#obx#obx fanfic#obx imagine#obx x reader#obx x you
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ft. ren zotto x f! reader — iluna, nijisanji en
╰₊✧ sneaking around with fuckboy ren zotto & thinking about your feelings┊0.7k words
contains: smut!! dom ren & sub reader┊friends with benefits, outdoor & semi-public, making out & tongue piercings, size difference, ooc ren, a whole lot of buildup for a paragraph of smut my bad, receiving oral, mentioned unrequited feelings
➤ author's note: thanks to @roseofdepravity for the idea of ren with piercings!! i’m no longer normal about him (i haven’t written in a while due to writer’s block, i may be rusty)
“god, what’s gotten into you? we might get caught here!” your back pressed against the ridged brick wall of the building, unable to escape in any direction with ren blocking your way.
“what’s gotten into you? thinking that you could wear such a cute outfit and expecting me not to go crazy over it?” his hand trailing up your thighs and under your skirt to tug at the hem of your underwear. “and you’re so wet for me already? what were you thinking about during the lecture?”
“’for you?’ don’t get so ahead of yourself when we aren’t even together,” you scoffed. it was literally the first day of the new semester yet still believable that something like this happened already.
“maybe i’ll make it official then,” he smirked, his other hand cupping your face upwards to shut you up with a kiss. a sense of urgency laced his every action as if he actually cared about the possibility of getting walked in on despite acting like he didn’t. this was the most vulnerable both of you have been to the public eye, getting dragged into a dark empty hallway with burnt-out lights right after a class with him.
you highly doubt that he ever would make it official with the copious number of men and women lined up at his door, but it’s not like you aren’t already content with this little game of cat and mouse that’s been going on since high school. all you could do was roll your eyes and sigh at the intrusion of his tongue slipping into your mouth, feeling the tasteless titanium of his piercing as you put up a little fight for dominance before completely melting into him and letting him take control like always.
although he isn’t the tallest guy on campus, he still managed to tower over you and dominate you so effortlessly. you practically disappeared behind him and it eased any anxieties you had about being seen since you would just be another one of the many people he was seen screwing without being recognized, but you suddenly panicked when he dropped to his knees.
“don’t worry about it, everyone is at the club fair for the free snacks anyways…” he mentioned as if he read your mind (you wouldn’t be surprised at this point, you’ve learned over the years that aliens have many different abilities). you were half-tempted to kick him off to drop the moment and pick it up another time, but his devilishly charming smile managed to make you agree to it like always.
realization struck you about just how many times you’ve snuck around with ren from the moment mutual attraction was made known until now: from parties, to trips, to being rebounds, to being bored. there was hardly a single week that went by without one of you sending a text to the other. neither of you was looking for anything serious and you had already crushed the idea of it ever happening several times, but there was a little glimmer of a wish that maybe your friendship including extra benefits would evolve into something more— even though he probably doesn’t feel the same way.
your thoughts disappeared with a shiver up your spine when he started to lick long stripes along your cunt, gasping at the piercing of metal against your clit controlled by his talented tongue that knew you more than you knew yourself. he moaned at your taste, lapping up the leaking nectar until you just all over his mouth and then he’ll chuckle with slick lips about how quickly he was able to unravel you.
he doesn’t need anything in return, he’ll tell you when you started the motions to return the favor. he just wanted to eat you out because of how cute you looked today, wiping the remnants of the seconds before away on the sleeve of his hoodie before leaving to give you some privacy to recollect yourself. he hides the blush on his face and speeds away, unsure of how much longer he’ll be able to pretend that he’s still seeing other people and that he feels indifferent towards you in that way when he can barely handle keeping his hands to himself.
#📜. her works#ren zotto#ren zotto x reader#ren zotto smut#iluna#iluna x reader#iluna smut#nijisanji#nijisanji x reader#nijisanji smut
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Daffodils & Dragons || Draco M. x F! H! Reader
synopsis; studying for the NEWTs, time had caught you and you had completely forgotten about the yule ball. finding yourself at a gryffindor party a few days before, your short friendship with draco starts to unravel, leading you to a side of him you’ve never seen.
a/n; teehee. this is. long. it was a very self indulgent fic, as a plus size reader/writer who has a very soft spot for draco, i just wanted to write for him 🫶 also this is my first time writing smut, please be nice
story notes; SMUT (MINORS DNI), plot with porn, alcohol, p in v (wrap it before you tap it, PLEASE), mattheo is kinda an asshole and does mean things to (y/n), self-conscious thoughts abt self, romance, angst at the end BUT THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING
tw; sexual assault, potion misuse, alcohol spiking. please lmk if there’s something i’m missing!!
wc; 13.2k. i got carried away whoopsies
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The NEWTs were known to be the worst exams you could ever take at Hogwarts, hence their full name; nastily exhausting wizarding tests. For the first half of the year, it had been filled with studying, attending tutoring sessions by my professors, and more studying. Exhausting, truly. I knew I didn’t need to push myself so hard, but I was trying so hard to follow in my parents footsteps, to become a potioneer.
I'd grown up around them explaining and showing me the processes of potion making, and it occupied a good portion of my mind for most of my childhood. A NEWT in the subject would mean the world to me, and hence the studying was needed.
“(Y/n), dearie, you need to get your head out of that book and get some air,” a voice said from behind me, and I noticed it was hannah.
“I’m quite alright, thank you though Han,” I said, quietly resuming the notes I'd been taking. I still had a few hours left until dinner, and I was keen on studying until then.
“(Y/n), please love. Take a break. You’ve been in your notes all semester. It’s a wonder how you aren’t burnt out yet," Hannah said, sliding into the chair next to me as she grabbed my hand, pulling my attention away again. “Join me tonight; there’s a party I want to go to, and I know you aren’t keen on them, but I think it’ll do you good. You haven’t been to a party since your fourth year. You need to relax,” she begged, her eyes silently pleading for me to go.
“Hannah, you? A party? What happened to miss prefect,” I said, giggling as I shut the book in front of me.
“I know, I know. It’s just…” she trailed off, her cheeks gaining a pink hue to them, and I immediately knew what she was getting at.
“I get it. Longbottom will be there, won’t he?” I teased, enjoying the way her cheeks flared, her eyes avoiding mine as she nodded. I let out a laugh, gathering the notes and pens I had scattered around the table. “Fine, I'll be your wingwoman. But for this, you owe me a butterbeer next time we go to Hogsmeade!” I mused, putting the materials in a neat pile as I heard Hannah cheer.
“Oh, thank you (Y/n)! Thank you! C’mon, we’ve got to get you out of these robes, and I need to do my hair!” She said, happiness apparent in her voice as she pulled me from my chair and out of the library, my books in my arms as she dragged me all the way to the Hufflepuff dorms, ignoring the stares we received, and into our shared room.
Placing my books on my desk, I took off my robe and draped it over the bed, leaving me in my uniform. Undoing my hair from the loosened braid, I let it fall over my shoulders as I sat on my bed, watching Hannah dig through the trunk at the end of hers.
“I don’t even know what to wear. I didn’t think this far ahead. I'm so nervous (Y/n), what if he doesn’t even notice me!” Hannah said, picking out a few dresses she had stored and throwing them over her bed. A dark red one caught my eye, and I quirked an eyebrow.
“Han, that one,” I pointed to the red one, watching as her face darkened again.
“(Y/n/n), that one…it’s too revealing!” She squeaked, getting off her knees as she picked it up, holding it to her frame. “It’d show…everything!”
“Isn’t that what you want? Neville will definitely notice you then,” I smirked, watching as her eyes widened with realization.
“Merlin, (Y/n). Find something and change, I'll be right back,” she said, skipping into the bathroom with the red dress as I let out a giggle. “Oh, Hannah,” I said, shaking my head as I left the plush surface of my bed and dug through my own trunk. Throwing out a few options, I sighed, wondering if I even had a dress that would be good enough for a Gryffindor party, though I thought it was odd they were throwing one on a Thursday.
“Hannah, can I rummage through your trunk?” I shouted, hoping she could hear me through the door.
“Do you not have a dress, (Y/n)? I thought you had that sparkly green one?” She shouted back, and I turned my eyes back to my trunk, digging through it until I found what she was talking about. It was a dress I had bought a few years ago to attend a Slytherin party, but never ended up wearing or even attending, due to not wanting to be tormented by Draco or his goons. Standing up, I held the dress to my body, watching as the dark green fabric sparkled in the dormitory light. Shrugging, I figured this was as good as it was going to get, and stripped off my uniform and tights before unclasping my bra and pulling the dress over my head. My figure had definitely filled out since I had bought the dress; it bunched up around my hips, and the low chest line left little to imagine as it pushed my chest up slightly. The dress ended mid thigh, and the sleeves were a sheer dark green that fell off my shoulders. I'd be lying if I said I didn’t feel sexy in this dress, and I ran my hands over myself, feeling the pudginess of my tummy. Turning around, I eyed the low cut in the back, wary of how it almost showed off my ass, but other than that it was perfect. Running a hand through my hair, I enjoyed the waves in the length from the hairstyle it had been in all day.
“Han, can I borrow some of your makeup?” I asked, looking at her as she exited the bathroom. The red dress hugged her figure tight, accentuating her hips and showed off more of her thighs than I could ever think of. “Wow…Han…you look stunning,” I said, shaking myself from my best friend's beauty as she laughed.
“I could say the same about you, dearie. You look hot!” She grabbed my hand and spun me, a laugh ripping its way from my throat. “I'll do your makeup, sit on my bed!”
Listening to her, I took place on her bed, sure to not let the material around my thighs ride up as I heard her murmur a spell, her wand directly in my face as I felt a cool breeze against it. “All done!” She sang, hopping up from the bed to slip on some black kitten heels and I rolled my eyes.
“I thought you were against using magic for makeup?” I asked, making my way back over to the mirror to see what she had done.
“I am, for the most part, but tonight calls for a special occasion.”
Looking in the mirror, I brought a hand up to my face, careful to not smudge the makeup on my face. The blemishes on my face were covered, the blush on my face making me look flushed constantly. There was a shimmery eyeshadow on my lids, along with a fine flick of eyeliner and mascara. Tinted gloss was on my lips, and I felt prettier than ever. “Thank you, I look so pretty!” I beamed, turning around at Hannah who had a smile on her face.
“You always look pretty, now grab some shoes! The party has already started!”
"What?!"
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
The music boomed in my ears as Hannah dragged me into the Gryffindor common room. I could already smell the booze in the air, and everybody was tightly together. My eyes wandered, and I saw a pair of hands on a girl's hips, dragging her ass into the male's crotch, and I inwardly cringed. If I had known this was how the party was going to be, I would've contemplated a bit more on coming, or wearing something different.
"I'm going to go get something to drink, Han. go find Neville," I said, removing my hand from hers as she nodded, and in an instant, her body was lost in the sea of seventh years. Shaking my head, I maneuvered to the side of the room, my eyes landing on a bottle of sherry and my heart eased its panic. Grabbing a cup, I poured the liquid in, but just as I was about to grab a mixer for it, a pair of hands slithered onto my hips.
"(Y/n), you look stunning tonight," the voice whispered in my ear, barely audible over the music, and the smell of firewhiskey invaded my senses. Turning around, I was met with Mattheo, a fellow seventh year who I had a few classes with over the last few years.
"Hi to you too, Mattheo," I said, giving him a polite smile as I tried to turn my attention back to the alcohol in my hands.
"Whadda shame," he slurred, his hand gripping my hips even tighter as he leaned in closer, "I woulda loved to take you out, now that I know what would be under that dress of yours," his hands ran up and down my sides, an unwelcome shiver running down my spine. Mattheo was far past drunk, and while I couldn't excuse his actions, the better part of me knew I needed to get him away from the alcohol.
"Matt, c'mon," I said, placing my cup down on the table behind me as I grabbed his sleeve, tugging him towards an empty loveseat in the corner. His frame towered above me as we made our way over, the music growing quieter as we moved away from the speakers. Gesturing for him to sit down, I ran a hand over the butt of my dress before sitting, cursing the way it slid up anyways.
"Y'so pretty, y'know that (Y/n/n)? I always thought you were pretty." He said after a few moments, his head lifting up from where it was resting against the back of the couch. I blushed at his words, hoping it wasn't visible in the dim lights.
"You're drunk, mattheo, you don't mean that." I said, pulling my gaze away from his face and scanning the crowd. I could see Hannah grinding against Neville, a drink in both their hands as they laughed, and my heart felt heavy again. Hannah was so pretty, her hair falling over her shoulders as she danced with neville. Her dress hugged her in all the right spots, the red complimenting her skin. If she hadn't been sorted into Hufflepuff, Gryffindor would've been my next guess, solely because of the color with her skin. The thoughts gnawed at my mind for a few more songs, constantly comparing myself with the other girls I knew, and how drastically different I looked than them.
As the next song played, a warm and calloused hand gripped the bare skin on my thigh, slowly working its way up. I didn't need to turn to know who it was; Mattheo. My skin froze, and I could hear my heart in my ears.
"Bet if I reached up a little more, I could feel how wet you are, baby," he slurred in my ear, his other hand coming to grip my face as he slammed his lips against mine. A muffled yelp escaped my lips from the contact, and I could feel his fingers against my pantyline. Panic flooded my system, and I pushed myself away from him, attempting to get up from the couch before he pulled me into his lap.
"No, no, (Y/n). I know you want me just as much as I want you, baby." Mattheo's hand clawed at my chest, groping one of my breasts as the other one kneaded my ass. It wasn't pleasurable; it was the opposite. I hated it, I wanted his hands off me, I wanted to burn this dress and my skin.
“Hey, mate. What's the big idea?” A voice said from behind me, and it was that moment that I realized I had been crying. Cedric stood behind me, his arms crossed against his chest before reaching out for me, pulling me up from Mattheo.
“Cedric,” I whimpered softly, feeling one of his hands rub my arm as he continued to glare at Mattheo, who had thrown his arms up in defense, and the smirk on his face made me want to puke.
“She wanted it, man. I could feel how wet she was under that slutty dress," Mattheo started before he was met with a punch to his face. The people around us had started to stare, and I could feel myself shrinking into Cedric's arm, trying to hide from them.
“Don’t ever say that about her, or another girl for that matter, Riddle,” Cedric spat, turning us around to make way to the other side of the room. “Are you okay, love?” He asked, his hand rubbing my arm once more as I pulled my dress down more. I couldn’t do anything but nod, trying to stop the tears falling from my eyes as we sat down with some other Hufflepuffs who had taken residence at one of the tables.
“(Y/n)? oh my god, love. what happened?” I heard Hannah behind me, and I turned around to face her, watching as she left Neville's arm and rushed over to me, cupping my face in her hands as she brushed stray tears away from my face.
“Riddle is what happened. I saw his hand up her dress when I went to get another drink, so I went to get her. Ended up decking the fucker in the face,” Cedric said, rubbing his knuckles as Hannah continued to comfort me.
“I-I think I might just go back to our dorm, Han.” I said quietly, holding one of her hands as she nodded. “I'll come and walk you back,” she got up, and I shook my head. “I don’t want to ruin your night, you stay here with Nev and the others. I'll be fine,” I said, lifting myself out of the chair.
“(Y/n), I’m not comfortable with you walking around the school after this. Somebody needs to walk with you,” she stated before a cough behind us distracted us.
“I'll walk her; I'm leaving anyway,” Draco said, his eyes shifting between the two of us. His sleeves of his black dress shirt were pushed to his elbows, his usually neat hair tousled as his eyes landed on mine. He looked like he had been in a fight too, but then I noticed his knuckles were bright red, just like Cedric's, confirming my suspicion. I wouldn’t put it past Malfoy to do something, on tonight of all nights too.
“Fine, but if I hear one thing from her, your ass is mine, got that Malfoy?” Hannah said, her hands resting on her hips as he nodded. “Noted; let’s get you back to your dorm, (Y/n),” Draco said, moving out of the way so I could leave the table. A shiver ran down my spine from him calling me by my first name; usually it was (L/n), or mudblood. First name basis was reserved for people close to him.
The walk to the Hufflepuff entrance was quiet, not many students to be seen. It was well past midnight at this point, and I cursed myself inwardly for letting time slip so fast. Thank Godric there were no prefects out at the moment though.
“Are you okay?” Draco asked, breaking the silence as he fell into step beside me. Looking up at him, I could see the concern written on his face, but he didn’t dare touch me.
“I think I'm alright. I’ll be fine, anyhow,” I started, unsure of what else to say as I wrapped my arms around myself, the late fall air cold, even inside the building.
“Here,” Draco held out a jacket, one I was unaware he was even holding, and I shook my head.
“It wouldn't fit, but thank you anyways,” I gave him a sad smile, brushing some stray strands of hair out of my face.
“Merlin, you’re stubborn,” Draco groaned before setting the jacket over my shoulders. It was warm from being in his arms, and smelled like musk and apples.
“I…thank you,” I muttered, grasping the edges of it gently as it fell quiet again. Soon enough, we reached the Hufflepuff entrance; its giant oak doors were daunting to me as I tried not to let the events of the last few hours crash down on me in front of Draco.
“Do you need me to go in with you?” He asked, noticing the worry on my face as his hands shifted a bit, almost as if he did want to help me.
“Oh-um. No, thank you,” I squeaked out, embarrassed that he saw the worry on my face, “here, thank you again,” I said, shuffling off the jacket as I placed it back into his arms, the brush of my fingers against his arms electrifying.
“Of course. i’ll see you in potions tomorrow,” he said, turning around, leaving me in the hall with a pale blush on my face, not one caused by makeup.
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The blaring of my alarm woke me up with a jolt, and I couldn’t help but groan, throwing a pillow over my head as I tried to drown the noise out. Just because I was in the sweetest house of them all didn’t mean I couldn’t be a bitch without sleep.
“Godric's sake, (Y/n) turn that blasted thing off. I have a bad enough headache as it is," Hannah groaned, throwing one of her pillows at me as I reached for the alarm on my bedside table, smacking around a bit until I hit the button, silence once again obtained. Pushing myself up, I blinked a few times, trying to figure out the mess that was on the floor. Clothes were scattered everywhere, a wand on top of everything. Shoes weren’t neatly put away under the beds, and a pile of clothing I didn’t recognise was on top of Hannah's trunk. The green dress I had on last night was draped neatly around one of the posters on my bed, and it took a few moments for a few things to click. One was that Neville was sleeping soundly on the other side of Hannah, hence the pile of clothes I didn’t recognise. Two, was that Draco was oddly nice to me last night after everything that had happened, and that if my speculations were right, he also got a few punches in at Mattheo.
“Hannah, c’mon. you’ve got to get up,” I said, throwing off the warm blankets as my feet met the cold stone on the ground.
“Not going to classes…Too hungover…” she moaned from under her blankets, and I stifled a laugh as I stripped out of my sleepwear and into my uniform.
“Snape will be mad at you, you know that right?” I asked, tightening the tie around my neck before leaning over to place the school loafers on my feet.
“Don’t care,” she replied before a heavy snore echoed through the room. Oh Neville.
“I'll miss you; make sure you use a condom,” I snickered as I grabbed my bag and robe, leaving the room before another object could be thrown at my head.
Settling down at the Hufflepuff table, I grabbed the notes out of my bag before filling my plate with the breakfast goods. I could feel eyes burning into the back of my head, but I opted to ignore it as I smiled at Cedric, who had just joined the table as well.
“Morning, (Y/n). how’d you sleep?” He laughed, ruffling my hair as I scoffed, threading a few fingers through my hair to undo the mess he had just made.
“Just fine, thank you.” I mumbled, rolling my eyes with a smile as I flipped open the notebook in front of me, ignoring that Cedric had stolen a sausage link off my plate. “Any more of you got laid last night?” I asked, enjoying the uproar of laughter that echoed out.
“Cedric got close with Cho, if I recall correctly,” Abby said, nudging him in the side as Ethan tossed a crumpled up straw wrapper at him from across the table.
“I probably would’ve, if you two hadn’t interrupted the game!” He laughed, which made me look up from my notes.
“There was a game?” I asked, looking around at my friends.
“Yeah, Ron started a game of spin the bottle, the one muggle game, but Pansy added on seven minutes in heaven. It was wonderfully funny.” Ethan cackled before shoveling eggs into his mouth.
“Oh…sounds lovely.” I mused, shaking my head as I turned back towards my notes.
“Malfoy wouldn’t play after he returned though. He looked seriously shaken yet deeply in love," Abby commented, Cedric nodding in agreement as he continued to eat off my plate.
“Wait…Draco came back? He said he was going to his dorm after he walked me back.” The confusion must’ve been written clearly across my face, as everyone fell silent.
“He..he did come back. But didn’t do anything but pour a cup or five of firewhiskey for himself,” Ethan shrugged, looking around the group. “What? She asked, and I told. Pansy threw a nasty fit when her spin landed on him, and he refused to kiss her for the bare minimum.”
“It's fine, guys, I swear. I just didn’t know, that’s all,” I said, shutting my notebook and giving a fake smile before I took a sip of the orange juice in front of me. The bell rang a few moments later, and we all said our goodbyes as we headed our separate ways. I usually had Hannah alongside me while we made our way to potions, but because of her ‘hangover’, she wasn’t here, and I felt extremely anxious. Another set of feet were following close behind me, and it made my pace pick up as I clutched my bag tighter in my arms, but their pace increased too. The anxiety inside me was skyrocketing as I reached the door of the potions room, and I flung it open, rushing to my usual seat. I didn’t want to see who was behind me, I didn’t want to know if it was some poor student trying to catch up to me, or if it was Mattheo trying to make another move. Settling down, I took a few deep breaths to try and calm down as other students filled the room. Hearing the chair scrape on the floor next to me, I pulled my gaze from my lap to see Draco sitting next to me, an irritated look on his face as he slouched back, his gaze on the board at the front of the class. I guess he noticed me looking at him, and he turned to me with a scoff.
“What? Something on my face, (Y/n)?” He asked, his word choice not matching up with his tone. “You’re a bloody fast walker, by the way. Practically running down the hall, you git.”
I blushed, turning away from him as I dug my notes out of my bag, watching as Snape scribbled something on the board. “I didn’t know it was you following me. I thought it was…” I trailed off, not wanting to recall the memories from last night.
“He won't be bothering you, love,” Draco said before shutting up. Besides being one of Snape's top students, it didn’t stop the glares from the professor to get him to shut up.
“If the class would like to start, we will be going over Amortentia today. You will be expected to make a decent potion of it by the end of class and have a three page essay over its components and your results by next Monday,” Snape said, my eyes drifting over the ingredients laid out on the table in front of us. I could hear the groans emitting from the students around me; an essay over the weekend wasn’t something anyone wanted.
“You will be partnered up with your desk mate today; given the…amount of students missing,” Snape continued, my head snapping up. Oh Godric. Hannah was usually my desk mate, the spot now taken by Draco. Not that he was a bad potions partner per se, probably the best in the class actually, give or take me. But we walked a line I didn’t know existed until a few months ago, when the term started. Always on the receiving end of his taunts, the boy’s words stopped carrying the sting they did from the first few years of school. Now, they stopped all together, and he was…friendly. In a Draco way. It was confusing, especially after yesterday’s events.
“Right, I muttered to myself, following the instructions I had written down in my notes, distracting myself from my previous thoughts as I poured my attention into the cauldron in front of me. I didn’t notice the way Draco was watching me, his gaze scanning my face, noticing the way my brows furrowed in concentration and how I stuck out my tongue as I bruised the peppermint heads with the mortar and sprinkled them into the potion, then dropped the whole leaves in. He continued to watch as I dropped in the powdered moonstone, stirring three times and seeing the way my eyes sparkled over the golden cauldron.
Scribbling down notes quickly for the essay, I turned to look at Draco, quirking a brow at his unlit cauldron.
“Aren’t you going to start?” I asked, dropping a handful of rose thorns into the pot before I covered the top with a silk cloth.
“We’re partners, if you didn’t hear Snape correctly. We were supposed to be doing this together,” his eyes glanced over the covered cloth, amusement dancing in his eyes.
“Oh, shit,” I clamped a hand over my mouth, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I'm so sorry, Draco. I got carried away,” I moaned, hiding my face behind my hands as I rested my elbows on the table. He laughed from beside me, a delightful sound to my ears as I peeked between my fingers.
“S’alright, (Y/n). Less work for me. I guess to pay you back for doing the hard work, I'll tackle the essay for you.” A hand found its way to my shoulder, and I jumped in surprise before it retracted immediately. “Sorry,” Draco mumbled, and I removed my hands from my face, watching him stare at his own notes with a slight pink tinge to both our cheeks.
“S’okay, Dray,” I said, the nickname rolling off my tongue as I lifted the silk. “Looks like it’s done, yeah?” I asked, looking at the pearlescent color swirling around.
“It does. Let me take a whiff," Draco said, grabbing the other side of the silk as he lifted it off. I watched as his head went closer to the pot, his eyes closing as he inhaled the scent.
“What does it smell like?” I asked as he pulled away, watching as he took his sweet time to exhale the breath he was holding.
“It smells like..amber and vanilla. and a hint of cinnamon,” he finally said, and I scribbled it down. My chest felt heavy at the description, but for what, I couldn’t pin. Was I upset that draco didn’t smell me? Was I happy that he didn’t? I didn’t know.
“Your turn,” Draco said to me as he finished writing his findings, and I gave a curt nod, brushing back a strand of hair so it didn’t dip in the potion as I leaned forward. My senses were flooded with the smell of apples, sandalwood, musk, and a hint of peppermint.
“What does it smell like?” Draco asked as I removed my face from the potion, pulling my hand down to let my hair fall back down.
“It smells like apples, sandalwood, and peppermint,” I said, grabbing my quill again as the bell rang for class change. I missed the raging blush on Draco's face as I put away my things, making sure the leftover ingredients were left on the edge of the desk.
“I'll help you with cleanup, professor,” a voice said over the chatter of students. I noticed it was Mattheo, and I groaned, anxiety settling in my bones once again. I hadn’t even realized he made it to class, surprisingly, but at least this meant I didn’t have to deal with him in the halls.
“Start with the back row; dump the cauldrons into the sink and wash your hands after everyone,” Snape's voice called out, and as I made my way out of the room behind Draco, I noticed Mattheo sending me a sly smile, making my skin crawl as I exited the room.
“What's your next class?” Draco asked, his long strides growing shorter as his steps fell into sync with mine.
“I have a free period next; I'll probably spend it studying in the library. The potions NEWTs are next week, and I want to be as prepared as I can,” I replied, my voice getting lost in the sea of students as they chatted and moved out of the way for us. Seems Draco still held his reputation around school.
“Ah, well, good luck with studying. I'm sure you’re going to ace the NEWTs next week, even without studying. You’re top of our class, (Y/n).” He said as we both unconsciously made our way to the library.
“You’re too kind to me now, Draco. What happened to your comments?” I asked, leaving no room for a response as I opened and closed the library door behind me, leaving Draco in the hall.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
I had taken up residence at my usual table in the library, books and notes once again scattered around me as I pounded information into my weary brain. I'd very much had skipped my classes for the rest of the morning and much of the afternoon; it wouldn’t hurt to lose a point or two off some assignments that were going to be turned in late in lieu of studying. Dropping my quill, I stretched back, my arms above my head as I heard my back crack. A low moan left my lips from the pop, and I slouched back down, pulling my skirt back down from its shifting upward.
“Merlin, (Y/n), have you been here all day?” A voice said, and I looked over to its owner.
“Hi, ‘mione. nice to see you too,” I laughed, watching as she set a tray down in front of me.
“You missed dinner, so I brought you some. I figured you’d be in here since you weren’t in defense or herbology.” She said as I eyed the potatoes on the tray, and she pushed it closer, rolling her eyes with a laugh as I said a quick thanks and scarfed the food down. I didn’t realize how hungry I was, having been too engrossed in the books to realize my bodily needs.
“If you weren’t so kind, you definitely would be in Ravenclaw,” Hermione shook her head as I gave her a shy smile.
“Just trying to be my best, that’s all.” I said, placing the fork down on the empty plate.
“Oh, by the way, someone asked me to give you this. Not a clue what it is though, so be wary,” she said, handing me a small box with a note tied to it. “Looks like you have an admirer, (Y/n/n),” she teased, a blush coming to my cheeks as I opened the note.
“Be my date to the yule ball?” It read. No name attached either. Handing the note to Hermione, I opened the box, surprised to see little heart shaped chocolates in them.
“Oh, that’s sweet!” Hermione chirped as I popped one of the chocolates in my mouth, feeling it melt on my tongue as it left a tingly feeling throughout my body.
“I had totally forgotten about the yule ball, to be honest. But there’s no sender, so why would I go with them?” I quipped, my body growing hot as I swallowed the chocolate. I'd never had a secret admirer before, and the thought of it made me blush, but not knowing who it was was nerve wracking. “Plus, it’s tomorrow. Why would they ask so late?” I continued, popping another chocolate into my mouth, the same tingly feeling exploding throughout my body as I closed the box, munching on the melting chocolate.
“Who knows? But you are going, aren’t you? I'd love to see how pretty you are in your dress!” Hermione smiled, grasping my hands from across the table as I nodded.
“Yes, I do plan on going. I might just tag along with you lot. I was supposed to go with Hannah, but she snagged Longbottom and I don’t really want to third wheel,” I laughed as she nodded.
“I'd love to have you there, (Y/n). Now c’mon, pack up sweets. You need your beauty rest for some dancing tomorrow. Studying can resume on Sunday.” Laughing, I nodded as I cleaned up my space and slung my robes and bag on, holding the chocolates and note in my hand as I walked back to the Hufflepuff dorms.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
The next morning had come and gone; most of it was spent soaking in one of the dormitory tubs. I couldn’t get myself to get out of the always-warm water and the bubbles that never popped. It was relaxing, but I knew I needed to get out soon. Hannah would be looking for me soon if she wasn’t already. She was keen on doing my hair and makeup again, saying she knew the perfect look for me to suit my dress. Letting out a groan, I unplugged the tub stopper, immediately missing the warmth as I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself and patted myself dry as I picked up my clothes, tossing them into the laundry basket. Never in my years here did I question how they always knew what clothes belonged to who, but I was thankful for it.
Walking down the hall, I could hear the excitement emitting from the dorms and it brought a smile to my face as I entered my dorm, seeing Hannah on her bed, a mirror up to her face as she perfected her makeup.
“Oh, there you are! I was beginning to think you drowned yourself,” she laughed, setting down the eye pencil and mirror in her hand as she watched me plop down on my bed, a sigh escaping my lips as I stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars I had pushed on the angled room at the beginning of the term.
“What's wrong love? Something got you down?” Hannah asked, moving from her bed to mine as she grasped my hand, making me look at her and give a soft smile.
“I don’t know, Han. I don’t feel as excited for this as everyone else,” I admitted, sitting up, her hand still holding mine.
“Is it because you didn’t get asked? Merlin, (Y/n), if that’s the case, that’s an awful reason to not feel excited. I thought you’d be one of the first girls to be asked out, with how kind and pretty you are. Not to mention you’re an amazing dancer," Hannah said, moving a hand to stroke the side of my face as I nuzzled her palm softly.
“No, it’s not that. I did get asked out, but I don’t know by whom.” I admitted once more, letting out a small laugh at her gasp.
“You got asked out anonymously? What a twat!” She exclaimed, her hand holding mine tighter as I let out a giggle.
“It’s fine, Han. If I had to place it on someone, it would be Riddle. I don’t know how much more he can make it obvious that he likes me, especially since he slid his hand up my dress Thursday.” I shrugged, getting up from my bed to grab some underwear to slip into.
“That git…I swear if I see him tonight, I’m going to hex him. I don’t care if it costs me my prefect title, what he did was awful and I can’t believe the professors or headmaster aren’t doing anything about it!” She mumbled, falling on my bed like I had done a few moments ago.
“It wasn’t an open party, hon. If the professors knew, we’d all be in detention right now.” I laughed, shimmying on a pair of black underwear. “Do I wear a bra? My dress doesn’t have sleeves, but I feel like I’d need the support,” I asked, turning back to Hannah as I tossed my towel on my trunk.
“Just wear a bandeau. You’ll get the support, but no straps”
“Right,” I muttered, grabbing a nude one out of the dresser and slipping it over my head, adjusting my breasts so they sat right in the bra before I sat on Hannah’s bed. “Doll me up; do your worst,” I smirked, watching her face light up as she sprang from my bed, giggling as she made her way over to me.
An hour and a half later, I couldn’t recognise myself once more, but in the best way possible. Hannah had truly worked her magic. My hair was curled, a few pieces pinned back with a white carnation pin, and tickled my bare back. My makeup was perfect. Blemishes and imperfections covered once again, a pale blush scattered across my cheeks. She had done a shimmery eyeshadow over my lids once again, and a dainty line of dark eyeshadow to mimic eyeliner, but she had buffed a dark brown under my eyes, topped off with filling my brows and a luscious layer of mascara to make my eyes pop.
“You look more beautiful than ever, (Y/n),” Hannah smiled softly at me, kissing my cheek softly as I beamed up at her. If this was the wizarding equivalent of a muggle prom, I felt like the prom queen, even without my dress on.
“Thank you Han, now go get your man,” I winked at her, shooing her away as she laughed, picking up the bottom of her once again dark red dress, the layers falling behind her as she made her way out of the dorm. Smiling, I could finally feel the excitement creeping up on me as I looked at my dress hanging on the side of my wardrobe. I reached out, feeling the tulle between my fingers before I got up, taking it off its hanger and slipping into it. It was a beautiful daffodil color, a sweetheart neckline that had flowing layers that ended at my heel, with an intricate floral lace on the bodice that trickled down onto the skirt. Spinning around, I enjoyed the way it ballooned out before falling against my legs once again. It was like a princess dress, in my eyes. Hearing the 7 o’clock bell ring out, I grabbed a pair of teardrop pearls and put them on, then a matching necklace before slipping into the nude flats I had gotten in Hogsmeade earlier in the semester before leaving.
I could hear the music being played from inside the Great Hall, and all of a sudden, I was swarmed with anxiety. I’d be entering alone, the music was so loud, what if Mattheo was there? I struggled to find my breath, placing a hand over my chest to try and even out my breathing as I sat on the stone steps outside the entrance to the hall. I could see my friends inside, watching as they danced and laughed together, while I was holding myself together with pieces of tape. Feeling beautiful moments before didn’t help me, and I struggled to not let any unwanted thoughts in my brain, but they came crashing down anyways. Was I not good enough? Was it because of how big I was? Was I just some checkbox for the boys here to flick with their quill; to try and get into my pants to say they fucked the fat girl? Was I even pretty enough? Were my friends just my friends because they pitied me and couldn’t dump me after the first year?
The thoughts swirled in my brain, and tears brimmed at my waterline as I curled into myself, clutching my head as I rocked back and forth, a pitiful attempt to try and calm myself down before I fully broke down. I didn’t notice Mattheo standing above me until it was too late.
“What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?” He asked, sitting down next to me as I bit my lip, his presence making my anxiety worse.
“Go away Mattheo; I don’t want to see you,” I quivered, turning my body away from his as I rubbed my arms, the feeling of his hands on me from Thursday ghosting over my skin, even though he wasn’t touching me now.
“I wanted to apologize, (Y/n). It was wrong of me to force myself on you, and I deeply regret my actions. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, badger,” he spoke, his words whispers on my ears. “But I did mean it when I called you pretty all those times; I truly think you’re one of the prettiest girls at this school, if not the most,” he continued, and I brought my watery gaze to his, already finding his eyes on me. “Please, if not your forgiveness, can I at least ask a dance of you? And perhaps a drink, too?” He pleaded with me, sincerity glazing over his eyes for a moment, and I nodded, not finding the words to speak as he offered me a hand, pulling me up from the steps as I sniffled, rubbing gently at my undereye to not smear the makeup. “Thank you, darling. Now, shall we?” He asked, extending his arm to me, and I slowly linked with him, guiding me through the grand oak doors and down the steps. I could see my friends turn to the late entrance, their focus on me and the man who had me wrapped around his arm. I could see Draco in the back, standing by Pansy and Theo, a faint blush on his cheeks, but a scowl on his face as he saw who I was with. If a grand entrance was what I was hoping for, this was the closest thing to it.
I could feel my dress swooshing behind me and the magic in the air as Mattheo guided me to the dance floor, spinning me gently to face him before he rested a gentle hand on my hip, his firm fingers digging into the fat of my hips before he took my other hand and started dancing. I followed his movements, swaying to the beat of the slow song as other pairs started dancing around us. Looking up, I could see the candles had stayed, floating in the air but accompanied by little stars and constellations. The whole room was magical, quite literally and aesthetically. It was like we were planted in the middle of the woods, looking at the starry sky. Flowers and vines crawled across the floor and walls, an echo of a creek played behind the classical music, and it smelled like fresh rain, along with the cologne Mattheo had put on. I hadn’t realized I was resting my head on his chest until the song ended, and I stepped away with a blush.
“Sorry,” I murmured, hearing him chuckle.
“It’s okay, (Y/n). Why don’t you go mingle with your friends, and I’ll find us something to drink. I did promise a drink, afterall,” he said, shooing me away with a soft smile, and I glanced back while making my way over to Hermione, seeing Mattheo still standing there, a wonderstruck look on his face before he turned to the assortment of drinks and goods by the stairs.
“You danced with Mattheo!” Hemione said, grasping my shoulders as she shook me, a confused look on her face as Cedric and Cho stood there, interlocked in each other’s arms, the same look of confusion on their faces.
“He asked me to dance, and he also apologized. I agreed; I didn’t want to make him feel bad, ‘Mione,” I stated, stepping back as I shrugged.
“Did you accept his apology? After what he did to you?” Cedric spoke up after a moment, his brows furrowing and I shook my head.
“No, at least not verbally. He apologized, and then said ‘if not your forgiveness, at least a dance and a drink after,’ if I recall properly,” I said, sitting at the empty table behind us, seeing Draco make his way over.
“(Y/n), Sherry, right?” Mattheo said, turning my attention back to the curly-haired male. Nodding, I accepted the glass from him with a smile.
“Thank you, Mattheo.”
“No worries. I’ll be right back; they’re refilling the firewhiskey as we speak, so I’m going to go grab a glass for myself,” he responded, sending me a wink before disappearing into the crowd once again.
“He tries to be all goody and nice, I can’t believe the audacity of that man,” Hannah said, scaring me as I whipped around.
“Han! When did you get here?” I asked, bringing the bubbly drink up to my lips, taking a sip. It burned more than normal, and an overwhelming sensation flooded my system, making my head spin as I took another sip, thinking I was just parched.
“When Riddle was giving googly eyes at you,” she rolled her eyes, resting her elbows on the table as she scanned me over. “You don’t look too good, (Y/n). Are you okay?” She asked, reaching over the table to feel my forehead. “Merlin, you’re burning up!”
“I-I’m fine, I swear. It must be the mix of alcohol and dancing. I’ll be alright, Han,” I said, my words slurring together as I felt my face flush again.
“I don’t think it’s that,” Draco’s voice called from behind me, and I turned around again, my vision blurring from the too-sudden movement.
“Dra-Draco.” I greeted, biting my lower lip as I looked up at him, my vision dancing with stars as I tried to focus on him. I heard the chair next to me scrape back, and I could hear Mattheo’s voice. It was muffled though, as if I was underwater.
“I think…I think I’m going to go get some air outside, guys. I’ll be right back,” I mumbled, swaying as I got up from the seat, gripping onto Draco’s bicep as I steadied myself for a moment before making my way outside.
“Too much alcohol for her? I mixed it with the lemon-lime soda she likes,” Mattheo commented, watching as I ascended the staircase and out of everyone’s view.
“Hm…I don’t think it’s that, Riddle. She’s handed much more alcohol than that before,” Cedric chimed in, sending a glare at Mattheo, who threw his hands up in defense.
“I didn’t do anything, I swear. You can ask Ginny; she was at the refreshments with me,” he said, his eyes widening before a loud cough echoed through the speakers.
“Excuse me, students,” McGonagall’s voice spoke through the mic. “It has come to my attention that while we do allow alcoholic beverages here during the yule ball, one of the punch bowls was tainted with. It didn’t seem like too many students took a cup of it, but if you or one of your friends had a cup of Sherry and ingested it, please report to Madame Pomfrey immediately. We do not know what was put in the bowl, but it is urgent that whoever needs it, seeks the antidote right away,” McGonagall finished, and murmurs floated throughout the crowd.
“Oh, fuck,” Mattheo whispered, running a hand through his curls as he leaned back, panic on his face.
“Where’s Draco? Did he have some of the Sherry too?” Hannah asked, glancing over the group. She didn’t know that once Sherry was mentioned by McGonagall, he took off, looking for your whereabouts.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
I don’t know how, but I had found myself in the dungeons, taking solace in its chilly temperature as my body burned. The Sherry tonight was much more potent than usual, and I wanted more after I cooled off. Running my hands along the cool stone walls, my mind flooded with thoughts of Draco. How nice he had been to me, walking me back to my dorm the other night, how lovely his hair always looked. I imagined his lips on mine; how they would feel as his fingers wove into my hair as he peppered my neck with kisses. A small whimper escaped my throat from the thought, and I used the wall to hold myself up, my knees growing weak from the flooding of indecent thoughts about the boy I had known since I was twelve.
“Fuck..” I muttered, sliding against the wall onto the floor, my breath coming out in small pants. Placing my hand over my heart, I could feel it beating a million miles an hour, and my brain was so foggy. The thoughts flooded my mind, and a burning sensation lit in my abdomen, only fueling my thoughts about Draco. What would he be like in bed? Would he treat me good? Does he know what he’s doing, unlike me? Godric, I was horny for this man. I could feel it in my panties, the way they were sticking to me was a sign, but I couldn’t do anything about it, not with this dress on at least.
“Fuck, (Y/n), you feel so good,” his voice echoed in my brain as I tried to steady myself against the wall, a rush of slick pooling in my panties as I let out a choked sob. I could feel the fabric of my bra and bodice brush against my breasts, the friction burning in the most pleasurable way possible. If I didn’t get out of here soon, someone would see me in this pathetic, alcohol-induced state of horniness.
“Be a good girl for me, yeah darling? That’s it,” the voice continued in my head as I staggered along the wall, my shoes scuffing along the floor as I slowly made my way down the hall, my chest heaving with every breath as sweat started to bead on my hairline.
“(Y/n)? Merlin, there you are,” I heard Draco hall from me, and I cursed silently under my breath as I heard him start to run up to me.
“N-No..Draco, don’t come any closer,” I whispered, trying not to let a choked moan escape my throat, the heat between my thighs burning with every step I took. I held out a wavering hand in front of me, a fruitless effort to get him to stop, to leave me alone so there wasn’t another reason to be embarrassed. Feeling his hands on my shoulders, a loud moan ripped from my throat as I collapsed against him, my brain too foggy to care anymore as his hands sent electricity down my spine.
“We..We need to get you to Madame Pomfrey, right now,” Draco said, ignoring the blush on his cheeks and the way his pants tightened from the moan I had let out. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, helping me steady myself, the blush on my cheeks darker than ever as I gripped the sleeve of his suit, cursing how I wished how I knew he looked under it.
“N..No…I can’t let anyone see me like this!” I exclaimed with all my strength, looking up at him with watery eyes, hoping he could see my plea behind them. After a moment, he sighed and shook his head.
“Fine. I’ll bring you to my dorm, then I’ll get Madame Pomfrey to come see you,” Draco guided you to the Slytherin door, whispering “Pure-Blood.” I watched as the serpent decoration moved, revealing the door to the common room. I let Draco guide me to his room, goosebumps littering my skin as his grip on me tightened. We soon entered his room, and he guided me to his bed. I let out a soft whimper as his hands left my bare skin, letting me sit down on the bed. I relaxed into the soft bedding, only to feel Draco gently brush up the material of my gown, his hands grasping one of my ankles softly.
“Draco..” I whimpered, feeling his slender fingers slide down, slipping my shoe off and placing it by the foot of his bed, repeating the process for the other one.
“It’s gonna be okay, (Y/n),” he whispered, getting up from his crouched position to brush a stray curl behind my ears before he traced a finger along my jawline, sending another jolt of electricity down my spine. “I’m going to go get Madame Pomfrey; stay here, please,” he said, locking his eyes with mine as I nodded, my lips parting slightly. I saw his gaze graze over them, licking his own before he turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door gently. I could hear the echoes of his shoes running down the hall, clicking until he was too far. I let myself fall back on the bed, resting my hand over my eye. I was so confused, the alcohol wasn’t helping my confusion, and I was so fucking horny. Everything stacked on top of each other wasn’t making sense, with Draco, the ball. The only thing I could do was sigh, making the dress shift on me once more, another soft moan leaving my lips.
After a bit, Draco returned, but without Madame Pomfrey. I noticed the shirt in his hands, and a pink blush on his pale cheeks.
“Ma-Madame Pomfrey? Where is she?” I asked, adjusting myself so I could sit on the bed, clenching my thighs as I felt another rush of slick come out of me. I swear my brain was being fried, with how hot I was at this point.
“She’s…she’s occupied, with other students right now,” he coughed, turning his head away as he tossed me the shirt in his hands. “I went to your room too, by the way. Figured you’d want something better to change into while we figure out what to do.”
“Oh, thank you,” I murmured, feeling the soft fabric beneath my fingers. It was an old shirt I had stolen from my dad years ago, I forgot I even owned it. Where Draco found it is beyond me. “You said she’s occupied with other students? Did something happen at the ball?” I asked, reaching around to fiddle with the dress’s zipper, feeling it slide beneath my fingers as I grunted from the loss. “Can you help me?”
“Er, yes,” Draco whispered. His actions were concerning me, to the point where they were fighting against the horniness my brain was screaming release from. “Somebody spiked the Sherry at the ball…she’s trying to help the few other students recover from it,” He mumbled, dragging his fingers along my shoulders, and I couldn’t help but shudder from his ministrations. Hearing the zipper fall, I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief, the dress constricting more than what I thought, and it felt like I had just taken the first actual breath of air in hours.
“Thank you,” I got up off the bed, shimmying out of the dress as it pooled around my feet. The cool air of his room hit the wetness in my panties, and I let out a small whimper, pulling the oversized shirt over my head. I missed the way Draco’s eyes glazed over me, his eyes stopping at my underwear and his eyes locking in on how dark they had become, and the slick that had dripped onto my thighs, glimmering in the low light. “What…what do we do about…” I asked, shyly gesturing a hand to me as I met his eyes. There was no way I could leave his room, looking like this, but Madame Pomfrey was busy, and it could be hours before she could come here.
“I…er…” Draco coughed, his head turning away from me with a dark blush, sending another bolt of electricity down my spine. I bit my lip to stifle the moan threatening to spill from my lips as I waited for him to continue. “She…she said we could wait, or…” He trailed off again, and I noticed he was fidgeting with his hands. I could only watch as he gathered the strength to say what he was trying to say. “Or we could. Um. They figured out what the potion was. It was a lust potion, and well, the obvious answer is to fuck it out of the person, or wait for it to run its course, which could be hours or even days, depending on how potent it was. Professor Snape and McGonagall are working on an antidote right now,” he rushed out, his hands moving to the front of his trousers, trying to hide the obvious erection he had at the moment. It took a moment for the words to sink into my skin, and another bright blush coated my face, burning so hard I could feel it on my ears.
“O-Oh.” Was all I could squeak out, my hands trembling at my sides as I sat back down on the bed, trying my hardest to ignore the friction the sheets provided against my mostly bare ass.
“I…I could help you,” Draco said, and my head shot up, his light grey eyes locking with my eyes. “I don’t want to see you in pain, (Y/n),” he spoke again, taking a few strides to stand in front of me, and his hand was on the side of my face. If possible, my blush grew hotter as I watched him, feeling his thumb stroke the side of my face gently and I let out a small pant. I felt like a dog in heat, and as much as I wanted to get rid of this potion in my bloodstream, how could I let Draco do this? We’d barely been friends for the term, and now he was offering to help me with this problem?
“Draco- I…I don’t know. We’ve barely been friends for the term; I don’t understand at all,” I started to confess, and the words just kept tumbling out. “You were so mean to me up until this year, and now you’re standing up for me against Riddle, your best friend. You’re walking me to classes and being nice to me, bloody hell, you aren’t sneering at me in potions for doing all the work, even offering to do the paper we have due,” and then it hit me. I had smelt Draco in the Amortentia potion. How could I have not noticed until now? His fragrance hit me again, apples, sandalwood, and peppermint filling my senses once more as he leaned down between my parted thighs, and tears pricked at my waterline again. “Fuck, I’m so stupid,” I mumbled, wiping away at the tears that threatened to spill as his large hands moved to my thighs, continuing to rub them in small, gentle circles.
“You aren’t stupid, (Y/n). If anyone is stupid, I am. I was mean to you because I didn’t know how to process the feelings I had for you when I was younger. Fuck, I still don’t know how. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore this year; I made that decision over the summer while studying potions. I had recreated the Amortentia potion to practice for the NEWTs as well, and I had smelled you; the smell of honeysuckle in your conditioner, the ever-staying smell of vanilla from the Hufflepuff dorms, even the scent of marshmallows,” Draco said, his eyes locking with mine as a hand moved back to my face, gripping it gently. “I realized I was in love with you, (Y/n). I love you a lot more than my pitiful heart can process, and I never want to hurt you again. I regret my actions from the past, more than I can convey, and I want to make it up to you from here on out. I don’t want to take advantage of you, so if you don’t want to, just say the word. I just want to help you,” his words turned quiet as he finished, and there was a twinge in my heart, hearing him say he was in love with me. A few moments passed, letting the quiet around us settle back in before I nodded, grasping his hand that was on my thigh.
“I want you to help me, please,” I said, my heart beating faster with every word I said. I didn’t even realize it sounded like I was begging until after, but I pushed the thought away as he stood up in front of me, a soft smile on his face as he stripped his suit jacket, tossing it across the chair by his desk.
“I’ll help you as best I can, (Y/n). Just lay back for me now,” he whispered, and I obeyed, leaning back on the soft sheets as he settled between my thighs, pushing them a bit farther open as he leaned in over my face. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” He asked, a hand resting against my cheek as I nodded, and that’s all it took for his lips to be on mine. It felt like a million fireworks had gone off in my body as he moved his lips gently against mine, unspoken words behind every movement. Reaching up, I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer as I kissed him with more fevor. Feeling him shift, I could feel his hips grind against my clothed pussy, eliciting a loud moan from my throat as I pulled away, resting my forehead against his as he let out a soft chuckle.
“You’re so pretty, (Y/n),” he whispered against my lips before kissing me once there, then moving down to my jaw, then neck, leaving wet, opened mouth kisses along the tender skin. Whimpering, I released my arms from around his neck, letting him continue his ministrations, until he was met with the collar of my shirt. “Can I take this off, love?” He asked gently, watching as I nodded, trying to catch my breath. I could feel his cool fingers sliding under my shirt, another whimper leaving me as his hands bunched up the fabric before bringing it off my arms and over my head. “Godric, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, kissing along my collarbone, nipping at a few spots, making me mewl.
“Draco, please,” I moaned, feeling one of his hands come up to cup my breast, kneading it softly through the thin material of my bra. His thumb grazed over my perked nipple, obvious through the fabric before he dipped down, licking over it, a strangled moan escaping me. “Merlin, that feels good,” I managed to get out before he stood back, wiping a hand over his wet mouth.
“Take off your bra,” he demanded, no harshness behind his voice as he started to unbutton his dress shirt, and I complied, digging my fingers under the band as I lifted it over my head, feeling my breasts jiggle as they came back down. Draco’s eyes never left my chest as he finished with his shirt, throwing it off into the room somewhere as he kicked off his shoes before he sat down on the bed. “Come here,” he said, grabbing my hips as he lifted me onto his lap, a soft squeal coming from me as I sat down, feeling his dick poke into my wet panties.
“O-Oh,” I moaned out before his lips crashed back down on mine, his hands sliding down my hips to grab my ass, making me moan before he started grinding me down on him. His fingers dug into the fat of my ass, dragging me across his clothed cock as a moan escaped both of us, my head falling onto his shoulder as he continued the action, low groans flowing into my ear.
“I want you so bad, (Y/n), please,” he begged into my ear, and I nodded into the crevice of his neck, nipping at it gently as I felt his hand slip under me, his slender fingers dragging along my soaked panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he commented, digging his finger between my folds, enjoying the wetness that collected on his fingers before he drew small circles around my clit, a high pitched moan leaving my lips as my hips buckled into his hand, desprate for more friction.
“Draco, please,” I moaned into his ear, grasping his wrist, bringing it closer to my core. Understanding what I wanted, he moved my underwear to the side, dragging a finger along my wet folds before slowly inserting it into me, another moan rippling through me as he pumped it in and out of me, the wet squelching noises lost between my moans. “F-Fuck, it feels-” I shuddered out, tossing my head back before his lips attached to the sensitive spot beneath my ear, nipping at it as he slid another finger in with ease, curling them up into the spot inside me that had me seeing stars. “Draco!” I gasped out, feeling him abuse the gummy spot as I rutted my hips against his hand, his palm catching on my clit. His other hand continued to knead my ass, spurring me closer and closer to the edge. “I-I’m close,” I whimpered out, threading my fingers into his hair and giving a sharp tug right as his fingers pushed me over the edge, my vision spotting as I came on his fingers with a broken moan of his name. Stilling his motions, he left his fingers inside me, using his other hand to grab my chin, smashing his lips on mine. Kissing me, he slipped his fingers out of me, making me whimper at the loss before he flipped us over so he was on top, his lips never leaving mine as he pulled his pants down, taking his underwear with it. I could feel the tip of his cock hit my stomach, and I reached down, grasping it in my hand before I gave him a small pump, a shaky moan leaving his lips.
“Don’t,” Draco murmured against my lips, bringing one of his hands down to stop my hand, and I looked at him with teary eyes.
“I wanna-I wanna make you feel good too, Dray,” I whispered, watching him shake his head in protest.
“No, you come first,” he said against my lips, pulling my hand back up before he tapped my hips. Lifting them, I felt his fingers slide under the band of my panties before slowly taking them off, shuffling a bit so he could take them off my legs. They got thrown over his shoulder somewhere, landing on the floor before his lips landed back on mine. Running his tongue over my lip, I parted them, allowing his tongue to enter, entangling with mine as he gripped my hips, dragging me to the edge of the bed. “Fuck, I know I’m supposed to be helping you, but I want you so bad (Y/n). I can’t wait to feel you,” Draco whispered against my lips, grasping his cock with one hand, dipping it in the slick on my pussy. The action sent a shudder through my body, followed by a moan as he gently pushed in, the fat tip of his cock stretching me farther than I thought it would. Pushing a hand against his chest, I let out some soft pants, feeling the pain melt into pleasure.
“Dray, I’m..I’ve never done this before,” I admitted, watching as he nodded.
“I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” was all he said before he slowly pushed into me, a guttural moan leaving my lips. Everything burned with desire; Draco was making shallow thrusts, his hands gripping my hips tightly, as though he’d lose me in this act. Shifting my hips a bit, his shallow thrusts hit the same spot that made me see stars with his fingers, and I moaned, biting my lip as I kept moving them in sync with his thrusts.
“More, I need more,” I begged, gripping onto his biceps. I’m sure I left little crescent marks in them from my nails, but that was the least of my worried as Draco started going faster; his shallow thrusts started turning into longer ones, his cock almost leaving my pussy entirely before it would slam back it, making me moan over and over. All of a sudden, it felt like a too tight coil was placed inside me, threatening to snap with each of his thrusts, and my whimpers came out broken, shifting my legs further apart so he could be closer to me. “Dr-Draco!” I let out a loud moan, the coil inside me snapping as my vision saw stars again, and I could make out the grunts coming from him above me, his dick shuddering inside me as my walls clamped around him.
“Fuck, (Y/n), you feel so good,” Draco leaned down, capturing my lips in another kiss as I felt him shudder above, his hips stilling for a moment until it felt hot inside me. He came inside me, and he seemed to realize that as he pulled out slowly, a whimper left me from the sensitivity. “Shit, I didn’t mean to-” He stammered, a hand on his creamy cock as I sat up, my brain feeling less fuzzy than before.
“S’okay, Dray,” I murmured, looking up at him through my lashes. “I’m on the pill; I’ll be okay,” I said with a soft smile, a hand running over his abs, enjoying how they felt under my fingertips.
“Fuck, every word that comes out of your mouth just gets hotter, princess,” he chuckled, making my clench my thighs from the pet name. It didn’t go unnoticed by Draco though, who just let out another chuckle. “You like that, don’t you princess?” He purred, grasping my chin to make me look at him. I could only nod, seeing a smirk come across his face. “Good, because I’m far from done with you. Need to make sure every drop of that potion is fucked out of that little brain of yours, darling,” he said before grasping my thighs and flipping me over, my ass in the air for him to see. His hand met the squishy fat, and a sharp slap echoed through the room, making me moan from the contact. “You’re such a dirty girl, (Y/n). Even though you just got fucked for the first time, I can see you want more,” Draco murmured, and I could feel his hot breath against my pussy, making me shudder.
“Draco, not there, it’s…it’s gross,” I said, a blush coming across my cheeks as I turned around, only seeing his bare shoulders and his platinum hair behind my ass.
“Oh, love, I want to though,” was all he said before licking a stripe up my lips, a strangled moan coming out of me as his tongue dipped into my pussy, sucking and licking everywhere until my legs were shaking and I had come again from his tongue. I was so sensitive, and I could feel myself clenching around nothing, and a soft laugh sent vibrations through me, goosebumps littering my skin as Draco removed his face from my pussy, all evidence of his cum and mine gone, only leaving his saliva and new waves of slick on me.
“It’s going to be a long night, princess, I hope you’re ready,” Draco said, shifting behind me as he gripped my hips before filling me up with one long and hard thrust, sending me forwards onto his bed.
Oh Merlin.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
I woke up to sunlight streaming on the bed, warming my thighs, and for a moment, I couldn’t remember where I was. All I cared about was cuddling back into Draco’s chest, ignoring the world around us.
Wait.
Draco.
I was in his bed, in a t-shirt and no underwear.
Sitting up, I ran a hand through my hair, untangling the knots that had formed, and my back ached. Looking around, I saw Draco asleep, right next to where I just was. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and from the looks of it, only boxers, which made my cheeks light up as I hid my face in my hands. Memories of last night came flooding into my brain; the Sherry being spiked with a lust potion, Draco finding me by the Slytherin commons, him offering to help me because he didn’t want to see me in pain, and mostly, him fucking me brainless on almost every surface in his room. His bed, his desk, against his dresser. I don’t remember if there was a spot where his dick wasn’t inside me. Feeling him shift next to me, I looked down to see his grey eyes looking at me, messy hair covering his forehead, and I felt my heart flutter a bit.
“G’morning, love,” he said, his voice husky with sleep as he sat up next to me, a soft smile coming to both our faces. “Did you sleep alright?”
“Ah, yes, I did. Um…thank you, Draco,” I said, peeling my eyes away from his as I looked at my lap, clutching my hands together. It was probably a one night stand; he probably pitied how pathetic I was last night, and wanted to get some points with Crabbe and Goyle. The thought brought tears to my eyes, and I sniffled a bit, remembering how I smelled him in the Amortentia. There was no doubt that I liked him, but he probably didn’t like me back, so what was the point in staying around? Shifting, I let my legs dangle over the edge of the bed before I pushed myself up, my knees buckling underneath me and in one swift motion, Draco was by the edge of the bed, holding me up by my hips.
“Where are you going?” He asked, his voice soft.
I gulped, unsure of if I should tell him the truth. “I…I’m leaving. You can tell Crabbe and Goyle you bedded me, and get the bet money. I can be another checkmark on your list of boxes, I just can’t be here anymore,” I whispered out, my voice cracking as I tried to ignore the way his hands gripped my hips tighter as I spoke.
“Bet money? (Y/n), what are you talking about, love?”
“I-I know you were just trying to help me, but I know I’m just another game to you. Fuck the fat girl, get the money. I know how it goes, Draco,” I spoke, my voice quivering as I fought back the tears that threatened to fall as I looked at him. He looked...heartbroken, and confused, which only fueled my confusion as his mouth opened to talk.
“(Y/n), darling. There was no bet, for Merlin’s sake. I helped you because I wanted to, not because you were a box for me to check off. I love you, have I not made that clear enough?” He asked, guiding me back onto the bed and onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I..I thought you didn’t mean it last night. Godric’s sake, look at me Draco. I’m nothing like Pansy, or Hermione, or Cho, or any of the other girls here. You could have so much better than…than me,” I said quietly, the tears finally falling. I knew my worth, and in comparison to the other girls here, I was close to the bottom of the list, if not at the very bottom.
“(Y/n), look at me, please,” Draco asked, placing a hand on my jaw, his thumb rubbing small circles on my cheek as he guided me to look at him. I could see the hurt in his eyes, and the frown that was on his face. “Yes, those other girls are pretty, but they hold no light next to you. You are the brightest light in my life, the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. You’re so smart, witty, hardworking, I could go on and on for hours about the things I love about you. You are all I’ve ever wanted, and more. If anything, I don’t deserve you,” he spoke, and I could hear the sincerity lacing every one of his words as he wiped the tears from my face. “I meant it when I said I loved you. I love you more than words could ever describe, and I’m so glad it was you I smelled in the Amortentia over the summer, and even in class. It hurt my heart to say it wasn’t you I smelled, but I didn’t know what else to do. I don’t know how much more I can say or even do to make you believe I love you, but I will keep trying and saying and doing things until you believe me, love.”
Nodding, a soft smile came back onto my face. “Maybe another kiss will make me believe you,” I whispered, causing Draco to laugh.
“If that’s what it’ll take, then I’ll kiss you til the day I die,” he said before pressing his lips against mine, weaving his hand that was on my jaw into my hair as our lips moved in sync for a few moments. Pulling away, I let out a small giggle, pressing my forehead against his before another thought came into my mind.
“Dray?” I asked, pulling away a bit to see his face.
“Yes, love?”
“Does this mean..we’re like..together?”
“Is it not obvious?”
“Well, you never asked me, so…”
“Merlin, (Y/n). You’re going to be the death of me,” he laughed, grasping my hand as his other one untangled itself from my hair, going back to its place on my jaw. “Will you be my girlfriend, (Y/n) (L/n), the most beautiful Hufflepuff and woman to ever walk the face of this earth,” he asked, making me laugh.
“I thought you’d never ask,” I said, smiling as I leaned in for another kiss before pulling away again, making Draco groan. “You still have to do the essay today, love,” I reminded him, a cheeky smile coming to my face as I saw him roll his eyes before he leaned back down, taking me with him with a squeal.
“Let me have this moment with my girlfriend, (Y/n). Then we can talk academics.”
#draco x reader#draco x you#draco malfoy#draco lucius malfoy#draco fanfiction#draco x y/n#harry potter#x reader#fanfiction#hogwarts#x hufflepuff reader#x chubby reader#writing#romance#angst#happy ending#bee’s writing#masterlist
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The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 10
Maximum Loser
Welcome back to Fantasy High where the Abernant sisters are having sandwiches in front of the burnt ruins of their old mansion. You know, normal sibling activities! As we learned last week, Aelwyn is working for Kipperlilly (Adaine calls her Cottoncandy Bitchfuck which is one of my faves just for the levels of obvious disdain and degrees of separation from the original name) and Adaine wants all the info ASAP. Here is a rundown of what Aelwyn tells her (along with speculation on my part):
KP seems to be loaded in a way that isn’t connected to her parents' jobs (Dad is a realtor and mom is a clerk for the treasurer’s office). [Could she possibly be getting the money from her party member with a rich dragon ancestor? And could she be using her mom’s government job to get inside info somehow?]
KP has been employing Aelwyn as her “arcane errand girl”. She’s basically been getting her magical contraband which Aelwyn figures are spell components. Adaine asks why their party wizard Oisin can’t just do it and Aelwyn says that KP was very adamant about him being “protected”. [Does that mean protected as in not in trouble so he doesn’t get expelled and mess up their party comp or protected as in “I don’t want him to know what I’m doing because he wouldn’t approve”?]
KP never had Aelwyn steal a cloud rider engine for her but she did have Aelwyn download schematics for one which she thinks was so that it would be on her browser history not KP’s. [Aelwyn, do NOT get framed for this girl’s crimes I’m BEGGING you.]
Similarly, KP never texts Aelwyn any info. They always talk in person so she keeps clean at least on paper.
There are two specific things that Aelwyn had to procure that were kind of hard to find because they’re more divine than arcane: Devil’s Nectar and Ambrosia. [We don’t learn what the properties of those are exactly but they seem pretty clearly to be the divine and infernal versions of the same thing. Maybe they can make a god or a devil? Sounds like it’s part of the resurrection plan–or maybe they want to raise a new god?]
Anyway, Aelwyn promises to shoot Adaine a text the next time KP reaches out to her so she can spy via scrying (I'm reminded of Spy, Tongue, Curse again). She also shows Adaine her tiny apartment full of senior cats and microwave dinner trays that’s sorely in need of a deep clean. Adaine invites her to swing by Mordred to get her laundry done and maybe hang out and Aelwyn seems tentatively receptive, even though the aggressive positivity of the house and its residents (who she does ultimately care about) majorly grates on her.
[Also! Not plot relevant but their relationship progress is in full swing with open “I love yous”, only slightly undercut “I believe in yous”, and kisses blown as they say goodbye. I’m trying to be super streamlined with this recap so I can get it finished on time but I had to at least quickly mention how delighted I was by this scene which I have watched so many times. They’re doing it! Sisters!]
We next cut over to Riz who is in the car with his mom and he’s so so so over this whole semester. He keeps talking about everything that’s going on with the bored, anxious, almost whiny, but mostly resigned tone that makes her pull over and force him into a nap. Here are the mystery relevant bits of their conversation pre and post nap:
Sklonda’s case was defending a married firbolg couple–Alonso and Hespia Loam. Frosty Faire was supposed to be held at their farm but then they were accused of embezzling and the event pulled. [Firblog are giant-kin if that matters.]
They maintained their innocence and Sklonda believed them. The case was actually going to be a slam dunk because they found forgeries and docs submitted on their behalf. But then they got murdered so the case was over. [Forgeries and docs submitted on their behalf reminds me of Lucy’s god change form.]
Sklonda thought this case was strange because there’s no financial incentive to frame the loams. [Sounds like the motive could have been just moving the festival to a different location to me.]
The reason they were under suspicion was that amounts of money matching what was embezzled from Frosty Faire were deposited into the Loams' account but Sklonda was able to show that that was all bogus and that the Loams didn’t even use online banking and that a Bastion City VPN was involved. But again, before they could track that down beyond “somewhere in Solace” it got shut down due to the murders (which the cops are now investigating btw but this is a Brennan story so how useful will they really be? [This is also giving me KP vibes but in fairness, that girl is just suspicious.]
Lola Embers is the one who recommended the move from Loam Farms to the Thistlespring Tree. [A possible Ruben request since he’s her client?]
Riz also tells Sklonda all about what’s going on with the demon stuff and the Lucy stuff and the campaign stuff. Sklonda is concerned about the demon stuff but she’s honestly more concerned about Riz breaking his back and losing sleep over Kristen’s campaign. She’s very fired up and a bit incredulous that he’d work so hard for his friends who, from her POV, are always slightly bullying him (“Your name isn’t The Ball. It’s Riz!”). And, while she’s on it, he would be a great candidate himself! Riz assures her that their dynamic is fine and then worries her again right away by saying he’s absolutely gonna check out the crime scene. She sighs deeply and says they can check it out together because she knows she’s not talking her son out of it. (She also says she’ll try and get some info from her old co-workers but again, cops in a Brennan world so we’ll see how useful they are.)
Post Grix exploding, Jace hosts an impromptu assembly: Things are bad y’all! With Aguefort gone and Grix blown up (not to mention Yolanda dead), they’re getting to the point where it’s not clear that the school will be able to continue functioning.
The whole cleric track is going pass/fail which none of the Rat Grinders seem to have strong reactions to (Ruben smirks and Buddy looks confused, but the rest look bored or unfazed). This news especially sucks for Freshmen and Sophomores who won’t be able to take the Last Stand exam Porter mentioned in an earlier episode. Some upperclassmen who maybe weren’t doing so hot (like Max and his party) look kinda stoked. Fig does insight on Jace and her roll is low (5) but he seems like he’s sincerely stressed about this unforeseen situation.
Post assembly, Hilariel calls Fig (after 18 missed calls to Fabin’s phone which is on Do Not Disturb) to invite everyone over to spend The Lunar Yulenear (fantasy Christmas) with them (and also inform her that Gilear’s string of good luck is still going strong. He cracked his back while limboing and grained 2 inches in height!). Fig turns that into invites for everyone at Mordred (including Aelwyn who is a wanted criminal in Falinel and Sandra-Lynn who is Gilear’s unfaithful ex–wild crew). Fabian wants the chance to talk to his mom but by the time Fig hands over the phone, she’s already hung up.
Riz fills everyone in on the Loam Farms situation and Gorgug worries that the soil at his house is corrupted now. Adaine reminds everyone that Fig is still super cursed and they should probably start looking into that soon. Kristen and Fig get naked for no reason so we’re gonna move on from that to Fabian getting a text from Mazey. Apparently she's just gotten some big news and she doesn’t know exactly who to talk to. He rushes away from his naked friends as quickly as he can (so valid) and goes to meet up with her. (While he’s en route, Riz wonders if the RG’s killed rats were being killed sacrificially and Fig wonders if Lucky FROSTblade had anything to do with the FROSTyfolk festival).
Fabian meets up with Mazey who congratulates him for killing Grix since he mega-sucked and was shooting nets at kids. Then, she says that she knows that Fabian and his party have kinda always had the school’s back over the past few years and she trusts him which is why she’s telling him what she’s about to say. Remember how anything Aguefort says, even as a bit, is canon? Well, apparently he said once in an email that if there’s no principal then the school becomes a democracy and the student body president becomes principal. Fabian is baffled: surely the vice principal would become principal, right? But no. The system is set up so that there’s always one all powerful principal and one VP who is supposed to be Kalvaxus (remember, he was supposed to be imprisoned there forever). So she’d have to take classes (has to be a student enrolled in good faith) AND be principal and she doesn’t feel like she can do it. Fabian is awkward but encouraging and says he’ll do his best to help her and ask his friends for advice. When he does, Riz right away is like, "They’re gonna kill her, dude,” so Fabian rushes back and invites (practically begs) Mazey over after school so he can keep an eye on her.
Once school is out, Fig does her bodyguard thing and secretly trails Mazey so she gets to Seacaster Manor safely. Once she’s there, she and Fabian have a bit of an awkward beat and then Mazey, who has clearly misread the situation, tries to make out with him. Fabian pulls back which makes Mazey confused and embarrassed. Fabian really quickly tries to reassure her that it’s not that he didn’t wanna kiss her. He’s just not in that mode right now and she’s in danger and they’re trying to kill her. She has NO idea what he’s talking about so he Facetimes Riz and the Mordred crew to explain. Mazey says that killing her wouldn’t make the killer the new Principal–it’s not Pokemon Champion rules. But Riz says that every person who’s had the top spot has been sidelined or killed so it’s safer to be careful. Maybe killing her would prompt an early election and whoever wins will be promoted early. She asks if this suspicion is just because they hate the Rat Grinders and Riz says that they have good reasons to be suspicious. They are all outraged though when Mazey says that the Ratgrinders famously hate them and have since Freshman year. [Hilarious that they were apparently publicly seething and haven’t been on the BK’s radar at all.]
Anyway, Mazey says she appreciates the concern but rushes to leave, embarrassed. Fabian tries to salvage the awkward encounter and tell Mazey that his reaction was about how stressed and worried he is, not about how he feels about her and Mazey seems genuinely concerned about him. Like, as a person. Is he eating? Is he sleeping? Is he being cared for in this big empty house? Fabian musters some bravado about how he’s a legend and the legend continues but it’s mixed in with some super obvious red flags about making his house a place people want to come to so he won’t be alone. Mazey says she’d still want to hang with him even if he wasn’t a Maximum Legend and then leaves to his cavernous, home, solo.
Back to Adaine! Her next big roll is Mystery and she wants to learn about the giants and their gods. She uses a portent to get a 27 (which she needs because clues cost more right now) and here’s what she learns:
So first off, Ruvina is a Seasonal god (Winter) vs Sol, Helio, Cass, and Galicaea who are Celestial gods (Sun, Moon).
A bridal gift would only be given to the spouse of a sibling so that means that the missing dead god is Ruvina’s sibling. Brennan specifically mentions how hard/weird/complicated it would be to be prevented by Oblivati Mori from speaking of a spouse or sibling.
There’s no mention of the missing god but there are mentions of the OTHER seasonal gods so Adaine can determine by process of elimination that the missing god is the summer one.
She wonders if Sol or Helio stole the summer domain since they’re sun gods but Brennan said if they did, it wasn’t in one violent act. There’s no obvious crusade or anything like that.
There is a certain point where “Sun” starts being capitalized like a name (like how in the Bible God is He not he).
The bridal gift is only mentioned in early texts, not recent ones. Recent texts have a lot of mentions of fire.
She doesn’t find any text concerning the gods followers. She does however find text that says “Beware the blades of the red fire”. These seem to be connected to the shatter star rage crystals but there's no clear timeline of them showing up once the god died. It seems like they existed at the same time.
So, a lot of info but no big Aha! moment yet.
She rolls Work for her third track and fails so she takes a stress token (up to three now). She only rolls well enough to not get fired (which, girl, just get fired! Make money another way! Ask your newly caring sister for some funds and don’t ask where she got them!).
Lastly she rolls to relax but fails (been there girl) and has a deeply unsatisfying massage given to her by Lydia.
Kristen is up next and her first roll is Popularity (makes sense) on the middle schoolers (you lost me). In fairness to Ally, there is method to their madness. They said in the Adventuring Party that the idea was that the school is across the street from where the bodies were found so maybe they could do some recon. Still, on the face of it, bonkers plan and Riz is low key wondering if his mom was right about them picking the wrong candidate. Anyway, she passes and now has advantage on charming any new middle schooler she meets lol. Brennan also makes her roll Perception and on a 14 gives her nothing. Ominous!
The second thing she’s interested in is Relationships and she wants to talk to Lydia and also Buddy. With Lydia, she wants to know if there’s a way for them to talk to Bakur. Lydia says that Bakur is conscious and aware but she can’t talk to him because it would compromise the security of his gem prison. However, if they come up with a safe way to talk to him she’s game to participate, especially since she’ll def be a target if stuff with Bakur’s god is going down. Lydia also mentions that it seems like Cass might have been especially vulnerable in the Astral Food Court which makes Kristen even more suspicious of Kalina than she already was since she was the one who suggested that plan in the first place.
Riz does Detect Evil on Lydia with his necktie so he can recognize Bakur’s magical aura on anyone else in the future and Brennan says that will also give him the ability to recognize anyone connected to Bakur’s god in the future. (Riz also says he wants to do the same on a Helioic cleric and the moon, presumably for the same reason but he doesn’t explicitly get to it this session).
They then check on Fig to try to figure out what the heck her deal is and they find a lot lol. There are four main things happening with her aura. The strongest is the anarchy sigil on her forehead that marks her as the Archdevil of Rebellion. The second is her burgeoning paladin rage aura which matches Lydia's but seems more fiery and is also unaligned. The third is her warlock mojo which is unaligned as well. And the fourth is the lemony yellow aura of her curse. Her being a tiefling doesn’t even crack the top five of what’s going on with her apparently!
Anyway, on to her second relationship thing–Buddy. Kristen finds him putting a Rat Grinders sticker on her locker which she peels off, clearly annoyed. There are three main important parts of that conversation which are as follows:
Kristen asks if there’s any rage talk happening at the Helioic church right now and Buddy says that Sol is angry–lots of people left the church during the months of night situation which makes sense. Worshiping the sun god during eternal night feels like a losing proposition.
Buddy thinks it would be a great idea for his grandpa–Helioic evangelist Bobby Dawn–to become the new Cleric teacher to save everyone from going Pass/Fail. Kristen thinks that sounds like a nightmare and I have to agree. Buddy says that it’s fine because the cleric teacher has to worship *some* god, right? Might as well be Helio. But we know that’s untrue because Yolanda gave up her active connection with a specific divinity in order to minister effectively to her whole class. And I can’t imagine whoever raised Buddy would make a fair teacher who’s welcoming to all faiths.
Buddy wants to “take Kristen into counsel” about her brother who he thinks is going down a dangerous path as he’s being exposed to various worldly elements at Aguefort. I have no idea what Buddy considers a dangerous path–for all we know Bucky is actually fully fine and coming into his own. Buddy offers to take Bucky under his wing and Kristen casually but very firmly says, “I’ll never let you do that.” [She really should check on him though, just in general.]
They close the conversation off with some faux cheerful/polite sniping about how Kristen’s god died again (point Buddy) that ends with Kristen saying that Cass will come back again as opposed to Helio who only came back once (point Kristen!). [She also tells Buddy, as she’s wont to do, that she met Helio and thought he was a total frat boy loser–just mentioning it in case it comes up again. He seems pretty sure that Kristen will come around though. Tres prodigal son.]
Fig’s turn! She aces her Paladin, Bard, and Warlock classes–A+ across the board. [She gets to roll her Bard class at a DC 5 even though it’s her second track for reasons Brennan doesn’t tell us. We also learn that Lucilla Lullaby is now on sabbatical after her conversation with Fig. Girl, go to therapy.]
Anyway, Fig is working with Porter and Zara and they want to talk to her. She’ll have to pick her pact soon and though she’s doing really well, they’re not quite buying that her powers are coming from her deviation to Cass or doubt. Porter recognizes that protective, German Shepherd energy in her and when Fig floats rage (protective rage) as what’s motivating her, he has a positive reaction. Him jumping on the rage thing would already be a little suspicious but the next thing he says is, "If there was some other power like that that you knew could support Cassandra, [and] was connected to your friend Kristen, maybe that's a worthwhile thing to explore.” And I very much want to know if that’s a Porter nudge or a Brennan nudge because that really sounds like he’s hinting towards Cass’s sibling. Incidentally, Porter is an Oath of Ancestors paladin and an earth gensai since we’re keeping track of affiliations.
For her next track, Fig wants to roll Mustery and ooh boy, Nat 20!
Here’s her bonkers/genius plan: She disguises herself as Wanda and boards a bus she knows Ruben will be on from all her recon. Adaine casts Nystul's Magic Aura on her to make sure that any detection spells will ping as whatever they want them to and not Fig. When Ruben boards the bus, she says that when she made a hasty exit after the festival she was breaking up with her boyfriend and when he asks what music she’s listening to, she shows him a fake episode of the Complicated Women Podcast about Lucy Frostblade. Ruben is instantly rattled and starts looking for the podcast but “Wanda” says it was an early release episode she got because she knows the producers. She lies and says they’re talking bout how they found Lucy’s body and Ruben says he used to be in a party with her. When Fig asks what she was like, Ruben speaks positively of her. She says she was noble and stuck to her guns. He’s really itching to get more info about the podcast and Fig says that she’ll send him the MP3 if he gives her an email. Ruben gives her Lola’s email (They have SOL instead of AOL in Solace) and his cell and then Fig Dimension Doors away, mysterious as ever.
For her final action, she tries to roll Relationships for Riz but she doesn’t roll high enough to catch him with how busy he is. She still leaves him a nice note and signs it from Gorgug. In response to that, Riz sends back a very long, gushy text that’s so grateful for the check in. Gorgug has no idea what he’s talking about but returns the gesture by making him an Artificer Infusion: A Medal of Wit which gives advantage on Int checks and throws for an hour (one time use). Cute all around!
Let’s close out the episode with Fabian. Popularity: 29. He’s maxed out the track. Any stranger he meets at Aguefort is charmed by him for a minute. He gets a neck tattoo that says Maximum Legend. For Mystery, he wants to check in with his dad to ask about Hell/Curse stuff (but he clearly mostly just wants to hear from his dad). He fails and takes a stress to succeed with the help of the AV Club. Skrank and Shellford help him set up a little broadcasting booth that can reach the Nine Hells assuming Bill has the correct equipment. He tries to broadcast and the equipment is working correctly but Brennan rolls a 3 in front of the board so he gets no response. He speaks into the void about how he’s a Maximum Legend while in his house, utterly alone.
He rolls for Fighter: B. He rolls for Owlbears. Fail. He rolls for Bard–the DC is 25 and he gets a 24. He’s at four stress so the next token will be a rage token. The table persuades him to take Fig’s cursed Bardic instead. He gets a single point which gets him to the 25 which is a D. Then Brennan gives him a Con save. He fails. Brennan says that, with that fail, he loses control of an important bodily function. He gets to choose which one it is and in front of who like a nasty game of Clue and…look. I’m gonna try and say this as delicately as possible but Lou is not making this easy for me. Lou’s decision is that he will lose control of his bowels in the middle of bard class. That’s as far into it as I’m gonna go–if you want the gritty details you’ll have to get them from the man himself.
Terpsicore, his teacher, is very supportive and kind about it, but one of his classmates, Quincy, takes his lute and breaks it, calls Fabian a Maximum Loser, and quits Aguefort on the spot. He headbutts the door, making his head bleed, and says, “I fucking hate this school!”
Which, on the one hand, valid sentiment to the latest bout of (almost literal in this instance) Aguefort bullshit. But headbutting the door to the point that he’s bleeding? Sounds a little bit like rage star effects to me. Is it connected? Or was this just the last shitty straw for Quincy? We’ll have to tune in next time to find out!
Honor Roll
Fig for Her Clutch Investigation Skills
Fig has honestly been killing it just in general lately. A pluses across the board? What a GPA jump! But I have to particularly commend her for skillfully keeping Ruben on the hook the way she has. This is maybe her most perfect ratio of bit to plan so far. It’s so funny but also going so well. And that Nat 20? Chef’s Kiss.
Detention
Lou (the player) for Describing [REDACTED]in Graphic Detail
I don’t care if Quincy was affected by the rage star or not. He was right. That *was* nasty.
#Dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20#d20 spoilers#fantasy high#fantasy high spoilers#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#spoilers#the report card#no extra thoughts today because I am exhausted and we are getting this one in later than I'd hoped#halfway through folks!
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txt - how their help their academically burnt out s/o
a/n: welcome back! this one is extremely self indulgent bc yeah. also, this is for whoever is struggling in school rn or whoever has struggled in school in the past. I wish I could confidently tell you it gets better (I’m sure it will) but I don’t feel that way at the moment. So, without further ado, enjoy this writing! Requests are also open!
warnings: discussion of depression, burnout, etc… other than that, comfort all around. Lmk if I missed something :)
yeonjun
takes such good care of you during these times. he physically had to pry you off of your desk chair for you to even listen to him. "babe! listen to me and get up off that chair! you need a break this instant!" he immediately prepares a warm bath for the both of you to enjoy, you in the tub and him on the side, helping you wash your hair and keeping you company. After, he takes your towel out of the dryer and brings it so you can dry off and he helps you do skin care and anything else you have in your routine. the best way he knows how to help is with acts of service and not as many words.
soobin
he only finds out you’re burnt out during a midnight conversation. He’s asking about school and you casually mention how you feel burnt out and like you just wanna call it quits. he was stunned by how casual you spoke of wanting to leave school behind because he always listened attentively when you spoke about how much school meant to you and how much you wanted your degree. he immediately sits up and the tone switches to something more serious. “are you sure? let’s talk about this. i just want to make sure your making the decision that’s going to make you happy.”
beomgyu
he knows that this is not the time to act silly. his usually unserious personality does a 180 when he realizes the state you’re in. at your desk, sobbing into your hands, papers and notebooks scattered about the desk and your laptop open to your current assignment. he keeps calm and walks up to you, place a gentle hand on your back. “My dear? What’s the matter?” If you allow him to, he’ll hold you throughout your whole crying session. He just wants to comfort you and help you figure out where to go from your current position. he hates to see his s/o suffer this way.
taehyun
so understanding. I feel like he is the type that if he sees you with your hands all tangled up in your hair pulling at your roots, he would gently hold your wrists before you can pull anymore and kiss your hands. "come on, my love. let's take a break? talk this out? ill make you some milk tea (or whatever your favorite drink is :)." he understands the stress of having so much pressure on your shoulder so he just does what he would want you to do for him (which you always do!) he helps you figure out the best course of action to go about dealing with burn out. if you need a break from school next semester, he won't fight you because he knows you need it. Supports you no matter what.
heuning kai
the pout on this boy's face when he finds out is unreal. he always assures you you can go up to him at any time to ask for a hug and that's exactly what you did. your face was red and puffy from crying about your last assignment and how burnt out you felt. he shows his little pout and holds you as close as possible to his chest. "my love. wanna go cuddle for a while?" please agree because this is the best way he knows how to help you. he knows he'll probably ever understand what you're going through, so he tries his best to be as sympathetic as possible.
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I keep asking you guys this and I can’t ever decide but new factors have occurred to make me even more indecisive. Which do I write and why?
The Rose and Flame: This is a comfort fanfic that’s definitely a self ship fic with me and Preminger from Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper. April this coming year marks the fifth anniversary of when I fell in love with him. The story is a dark retelling of the original film with a spotlight on Preminger and my oc Princess Juliette. There’s political intrigue, forbidden romance, and a bit of magic. I’m not sure if this is the official title but it’s a nice one. I’ve been struggling so much lately and feel like a Princess and the Pauper fanfic could be therapeutic.
A Court of Music and Mischief: I’m obsessed with Mozart and have been since I was a preteen (well the actual obsession is a bit more recent but I’ve adored his music since I was about 12 or so, around a decade of love for him). His music means everything to me. But I recently found out that I’ll be doing a unit over his opera The Magic Flute in one of my classes starting in the spring semester, so my desire to write this story is skyrocketing right now. This opera was actually inspiration for this au along with faerie lore in general, a book about Mozart’s sister called The Kingdom of Back, and it’s to get revenge on Sarah J. Maas for writing ACOTAR because the books scarred me.
I'm leaving out my Dracula Alice in Wonderland au here because it serves as a smaller story and if I need a palette cleanser. I can only write one of the above stories because I’ve learned that one of the reasons why I’ve been getting burnt out lately is because I’m cramming too much writing into my schedule. I have to save room for my oneshots, a collaboration with a friend, my short original stories, a fairytale anthology I want to slowly work on, school (when it starts back up), and my other hobbies such as reading. I can only do one other fanfic first. I’ll still write them all.
I’m just stumped. It’s either I go feral over Tom Hulce’s portrayal of Mozart in Amadeus (and F. Murray Abraham’s Salieri, there I said it, I’m feral for him too) in a faerie au or return to my childhood comforts and write a story about a movie I hold dear to my heart and the guy who charmed me nearly five years ago and never left my side. I really want to do both at once but I know it’s not realistically possible to do so without risking my mental health getting worse. I plan on doing both eventually no matter what. I worry that whichever one I end up doing, my thirst to write the other would consume me. So how on earth do I manage that as well?
Tagging
@xxiamtiebrousxx
@fetchmearum420
@mushroomsie224
@ibrithir-was-here
@ilovegayvampires
@mysteryofvampires
Others can pipe in as well.
#barbie movies#princess and the pauper#amadeus 1984#wolfgang amadeus mozart#antonio salieri#preminger
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sneek peek of my hsmtmts season 5 (madlyn edition) fic 😈
~
Lively Christmas music sounded from the living room as the Wildcats gathered around the tree at the Caswell house. Maddox was lazily sprawled on the couch with her head in Ashlyn’s lap as Jet showed off a new drone that he had just unwrapped, smiling excitedly.
“Okay Maddie, it’s your turn,” Ashlyn said, gently nudging her shoulder. Maddox sat up with a yawn and reached for her last gift left under the tree, wrapped in EJ’s signature sparkly red wrapping paper. She tore it open to reveal a retro digital camera, decorated with funky stickers and had ‘Gadget’ written across it with paint pen.
“Whoa, this is awesome!” She held it up, examining it closer.
EJ beamed. “Thought you might like it. Especially since you’re the head PA of Romeo and Juliet.” He nudged Maddox playfully, who swatted him away with a laugh. “It’s not a big deal.”
EJ rolled his eyes, but left it at that.
Maddox smiled tiredly. It had been a long few months working as the head Production Assistant of such a big movie, which was so close to wrapping. Between twelve hour shifts, logistical nightmares, and keeping all the various departments running smoothly, Maddox was definitely feeling burnt out. Not that she’d ever admit that to the ever-worrying Ashlyn.
Maddox watched fondly as her girlfriend modeled the hat and scarf that Gina had knitted her, heart warming at the girl’s obvious joy. At the same time, though, a thread of fear nagged at the back of her mind. Would she have enough energy to support Ashlyn during the spring musical as a stage manager? Ashlyn said that she had previous luck with spring musicals at East High, and Maddox didn’t want to let her down.
But there was no way she was admitting any weakness, not when Ashlyn always got that anxious crease between her brows when Maddox so much as yawned too loudly these days. It was better to pretend that Maddox was still her usual energetic, spunky self.
As the gift exchange wound down and conversations shifted to dinner plans, Maddox curled into Ashlyn’s side with a content sigh. Her girlfriend’s arm wrapped around her waist, comforting as always.
“How are you feeling?” Maddox heard Ashlyn’s soft voice pull her away from the distinct conversations that she was eavesdropping on from all over the living room. Maddox sighed. Of course Ashlyn saw straight through her attempted nonchalance.
“I’m okay Ash, I promise,” Maddox reassured, her voice stern but soft. “Just ready for a nice, quiet break is all. But then it’ll be time for the musical!” Her voice was laced with forced enthusiasm.
She watched Ashlyn study her face carefully, clearly not convinced. “You know, if you need the semester off from extracurriculars, no one would blame you.”
“No way, I need to be with you guys for the musical. It will be fun, I swear!” Maddox insisted, sitting up straighter to prove her energy.
Ashlyn still frowned, her eyes full of concern. “I don’t want you to burn out, that’s all. You work so hard and deserve a break.”
Maddox opened her mouth to protest, but was cut off by Kourtney’s excited squeal.
“Guys, look! A Christmas Story is on! We have to watch, it’s tradition,” she said, grabbing the remote.
A reprieve from a difficult conversation– Maddox shot Ashlyn a reassuring look and snuggled back into her side to watch the movie. Her girlfriend still seemed wary, but dutifully wrapped both arms around Maddox and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
The movie played out as they all chatted and snacked, buoyed by the nostalgic Christmas spirit. But too soon, it was over, and they began packing up to head to Denny’s. Maddox stretched with a groan and got up slowly, drawing a worried glance from Ashlyn.
“If you want to stay here and rest, we can. You clearly haven’t had a full night’s sleep in weeks and I don’t want you to keep pushing just for us.”
Maddox flashed Ashlyn a quick smile, standing up quickly. “I’m fine, I promise. Let’s go get some pancakes!”
The Wildcats soon piled into cars, Kourtney riding shotgun with EJ as Maddox followed behind with Ashlyn and Jet. The diner was packed with other last-minute Christmas patrons, but their usual booth was still thankfully open. They squished in together; Maddox happily sandwiched between Ashlyn and EJ, with Kourtney and Jet across from them. Ricky and Gina arrived soon after; Gina taking her place beside Kourtney while Ricky pulled up a chair at the end of the table.
After placing a multitude of food orders, easy conversation flowed as everyone recalled highlights from the gift exchange, and discussed the possibilities of the spring musical.
Maddox chimed in when prompted, but found herself drifting in and out of focus, exhaustion catching up to her at last. She leaned heavily into Ashlyn’s side, barely noticing when their plates arrived, filled with pancakes, eggs, and hashbrowns.
A concerned call of her name brought Maddox’s head up with a start. Ashlyn was peering at her worriedly, gently pushing her plate closer. “Your food’s here.”
Maddox rubbed her eyes with a sigh. “Thanks, sorry. I think you might be right about the ‘no sleep’ thing catching up to me,” she joked halfheartedly.
Ashlyn only nodded slowly and put a hand on the girl’s knee. “We can go home after you eat, okay? EJ won’t mind if we take his car.”
Maddox nodded gratefully, too tired to protest further. The idea of curling up in Ashlyn’s arms for the night was all the motivation Maddox needed to tolerate the Wildcats any further. She dug into her pancakes quickly, listening into her friends’ conversations once again.
By the time they finished eating, Maddox was drooping where she sat. It was quite funny to the group, who made jokes about both Maddox and Gina practically falling asleep in their food the entire dinner. Maddox didn’t even notice that Gina was as exhausted as her.
Ashlyn took charge immediately, hugging her friends goodbye and hustling Maddox into the car. The girl looked back to see Ricky doing the same, giggling to herself at the idea of the rest of her friends being stranded at Denny’s. She heard Ashlyn call something back to EJ, telling him that she’d be back soon.
Soon enough, Maddox was being driven back to her girlfriend’s house. The street lights were almost hypnotic out the window as Ashlyn drove them through the quiet Christmas streets. Maddox drifted in and out, lulled by the smooth rumble of the engine and the rhythmic sounds of the wipers against the light snow.
Her blinks became slower, until finally, they stopped. Her breathing evened out as sleep claimed her in the passenger seat of EJ’s car.
~
erm yeah there will be multiple chapters, and this is just the prologue, AND i have it all planned out already, so expect that soon!!!
#maddox x ashlyn#maddox hsmtmts#hsmtmts maddox#hsmtmts#hsm the series#high school musical the musical the series#madlyn#hsmtmts fic#hsmtmts fanfic#madlyn fic#madlyn fanfic#fanfic#my work
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Mini rant
The academic burnout is hitting HARD. Senior year of my undergrad geology degree and BOY I’m tired. I’ve had 8 exams this semester and only one was a “final”. I’m barely starting on my term paper for geochem due Friday. I’ve got my structural geology final tomorrow and my hydrogeology final on Thursday.
I’ve moved apartments completely in the middle of midterms, I’m on the verge of quitting my job. And you know what? That FUCKER that copies off everyone’s work is going to be allowed to pass this class! Yeah, the one my lovely friend @thezoraprince wrote a thing for me about? That dipshit has been absent half the semester, leaves early for every test and lab, takes photos of other people’s work, and the T.A and professor will probably let him pass anyways.
It sucks to be so burnt out and tired, working my ass off and crying from the stress while this absolute FUCKNUT gets to pass because it would be detrimental if he didn’t!?
FUCKK YOUUUU
anyways, I need to study.
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For my own mental sack, can I have Bo telling his burnt out, stressed, drained college gf that she’s doing a great job at the book she’s been writing for college? Maybe forcing her to cuddle in bed while there’s one hell of a storm outside? I’m in need 🥹🥹🥹
Thank you 💜
Comfort: Bo Sinclair x f!reader
A/N: my bad on taking so long on this totally did not mean to do that. Also my bad on it being short too 🫡 also also we get a hug because hugs are comforting
Your eyes droop at you stare at the computer screen.
One more paragraph and you’re done for the night. Your brain felt absolutely fried and you I wanted so badly to give up and shut your computer down but that meant even more writing tomorrow.
The front door opens and shut as thunder rumbles throughout the sky. Bo’s home. You promised him you’d be done by the time he got back. You groan and sigh loudly. Getting frustrated with yourself and how bad you are at procrastinating.
Your boyfriend walks up to you and kisses your forehead.
“Go-“
“I just have one more paragraph Bo, just let me finish.” You whine. Bo tsks.
“No, go get some water and a snack and let me look over your paper. Then we’re going relax together, we gotta make sure that brain is refreshed for tomorrow.” Bo explains. You frown and nod, going into the kitchen and pulling out some fruit snacks and cookies and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.
It takes Bo about 5 minutes to skim through your work, you hear the laptop shut as the rain patters against the window. The noise calms you and you sigh, finishing up your fruit snacks and throwing the packet in the trash.
Bo hugs you tightly and rubs your shoulders getting the tension out. You smile and kiss him.
Lighting strikes, and thunder comes a few minutes after. He takes your hand and pulls you up the stairs to your shared bedroom. You set your water down and turn on the soft fairy lights and your favorite music to help you settle down. Bo shuts the door and changes into something more comfortable.
You two lay in the bed, you set your head on in his chest. He kisses your forehead and rubs your shoulders.
“I’m so proud of you baby cakes. You’re doin’ so well on your paper. Can’t wait for you to turn it in, then you’ll get such an amazin’ grade on it and you’ll be done for the semester!”
You smile up at Bo. Your heart fluttering. “Thank you Bo. It means a lot.”
You close your eyes and focus on being in bed with Bo and the music and rain that plays in the background. Bo kisses your head again.
“It’s no problem. You’re amazin’ and deserve to know it.”
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Let’s Talk :)
Woah! It’s been awhile, has it not? I doubt half of you even recognize this name, but hey, it’s the high school girl who wrote Hazbin/Helluva fics from January 2024-April 2024 but then left because of burnout haha
This has been on my mind for awhile, I’ve made the decision to come back to writing fics, I’ve missed you all a lot, and not writing for awhile broke me, but the break was sooo needed.
My return won’t be until the end of my last semester, so I’ll be coming back officially in about mid-June, because until then I’ll be setting up haha.
A lot of my rules and things will change, just so I don’t get burnt out again, but I’m so happy to be back <3
Until then,
Mio <3
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