#i’ll probably delete this in like 20 minutes cause i’m being stupid

[sapphicsnzs]

currently crying in the library while studying

[euphoriara]

By Your Side

you turned up with casual clothing the next day. and the first time he saw you with normal clothing, he could only stare with his mouth agape, like a fish out of water. you look smaller with the oversized sweatshirt, hair styled naturally instead of the usual professional look you go for. you're also slightly shorter since you forego the boots you usually wear for a pair of comfortable sneakers. the only thought that ran through his head at the time was "find you a woman who can do both." 

alternatively

you just want to get your job done, but it seems like jungkook is determined to get in your way (and steal a spot in your heart in the process).

pairing: jungkook x bodyguard!reader

genre: action, fluff, tiny pieces of angst sprinkled throughout, bodyguard!au

word count: 22k

warnings: swearing, violence, weapons, abduction, implied/reference to sleeping pills, politics. (it sounds like a lot but it's not too much, promise. they're mostly at the first half of the story)

a/n: ahahahaha hey, i deleted the first part and decided to re-upload it as one part bc posting the second part was giving me a headache so here it is as a one piece instead. apologies to the people who read it before, there was like 7, im sorry lol. hope you can find it again since the first part left at a cliffhanger im so sorry. i still suck at summary but like at this point who's surprised anymore. but here it is, the longest thing ive ever written probably. to the people reading, thank you for giving it a chance, i appreciate it a whole lot, have a good day!

the cold air causes jungkook to nuzzle deeper into his sweatshirt, pulling up the hood to maintain his body temperature. outside of the convenience store, the busy street has started to wind down, only a few stragglers walking home from a long day at work. he pulls up his mask to cover more of his face, gripping the bag of snacks tighter to his body before opening the door. 

when he steps outside, he's too busy ruffling through his snacks to realize there's someone sitting at the plastic chair in front of the store, who quickly stood up when they saw him making his way out. it isn't until he feels the slightest press of cold metal against his back that he realizes something is definitely wrong. 

"just pretend like nothing's going on, walk normally and i won't hurt you." the girl is just as tall as him, whispering the muffled threat right into his ear so nobody else can hear it. from outside perspective, it might look like just two friends catching up with each other, with the girl having an arm slung over his shoulder from behind while her other hand concealed a dagger behind his back.  

he quickly schools his expression into a mask of calm, though his mind is racing with how to escape this situation. he follows her instructions when she subtly shoves a knee to his thigh, signaling him to walk with her. "if you want money, i can give it to you right now. don't hurt me, i promise i won't tell anyone." 

the girl scoffs next to his ear, "be quiet, I'm not letting you go. just listen to me and you won't get hurt. i said that already." 

jungkook tries to hide the tremble in his hand by holding the bags tighter, nodding in response because he's too scared to talk. he's worried if he does try to talk, a sob might escape. 

the girl shifts so she's walking by his side, arm with the weapon now wrapped around his waist, playing into the illusion of a couple taking a walk together. 

unfortunately for jungkook, they didn't encounter anyone on their walk. nobody that he can signify to ask for help.

she leads him into an alleyway, and that's when jungkook's legs start to shake as well, causing him to lag behind. fear starts to course through his veins faster, heart beating a mile a minute.

he sees the girl raises one of her perfect eyebrow, eyes impassively staring at him. the rest of her face is concealed with a mask, just like him and she wears a baseball hat to hide the rest of her hair. "for fuck sake, i told you already I'm not gonna hurt you. you don't have to worry about your pretty little face, alright?" her tone is annoyed, patience clearly running out and jungkook just nods, afraid he might set her off if he doesn't. 

he will himself to walk normally again when he sees another person emerges from one of the dark corners of the alley. a male and he's holding a gun, he realizes right away. he can't help himself when he audibly gulps at the sight of the weapon, fear rooting him in his place, unable to move. 

"don't worry, he's just a precaution so you won't try to run away. we're not stupid." the girl tries to reassure him but all he could think about is the gun that the male has shoved into his jacket pocket. 

they walk by his side now, and with the assurance of a gun, the girl pulls back her knife and shoves it into her pants pocket. jungkook tries to will his mind into coming up with a plan, but he's too scared to try anything with a threat of a gun next to him. 

he scans his surrounding area, but couldn't find any loophole for him to make his escape. they eventually make it into the other side of the road where a black SUV is waiting. she opens the door of the car and gestures with her head, "get in." 

he hesitates in his steps, if he climbs inside, there might not be a chance to escape anymore. 

"i said get in, I'm not asking again." he feels the press of a gun on his lower back and decides to listen. he climbs into the car where somebody is already waiting at the driver seat. another person is sitting next to him, possibly to prevent him from jumping out of the car. 

the male from before hops in next to him, while the girl climbs into the passenger seat in front. 

he takes the down time to memorize details, not that there's many, since everyone in the car, including him are wearing a mask to cover their face and a hat, and have their hood up. each person only reveals a sliver of their eyes, hair hidden away by the hood of their jackets, and hands covered with leather gloves. their whole person is covered by clothing, making sure no skin is exposed.

when the car starts pulling out of the side of the road, the person next to him dangles a black cloth in front of his face. "now jeon jungkook, we need to cover your eyes and tied up your hands to make sure you don't become a loose ends." he faces the girl next to him, her voice is deceptively sweet and jungkook can't tell if she's faking it or not. despite not being able to see her face, he knows she's smiling from the way her eyes crinkle and the revelation brought a shiver up his spine. 

the driver chuckles, causing jungkook to whip his head to stare at them on the reflection of the mirror.

they made a brief eye contact when the person looks back, holding his gaze in curiosity before his vision becomes dark. 

he feels the male next to him shift, taking the bag from his trembling hands and tying his wrists with a cloth. he gives it a few tugs and when he's satisfied, he moves back to rest against the seat. "don't worry 'bout your snacks, pretty boy. I'll keep them safe." his voice is deep, raspy, amusement clear as day. 

he drawled out his words, a clear sign that he's relaxed. jungkook thinks it's unrelatable. 

the whole ride was silent, except for the music playing from the radio. jungkook tries his best to listen to his surroundings in hopes of being able to find clues of where they're taking him. but alas, the sound of the music is loud enough to drown out any other noises. he tries to focus on the direction of the car, tracing it inside his mind from the starting point when he got into the car. 

however, it seems like his captors knew this because jungkook can tell they've been driving aimlessly for the past 20 minutes or so. it's not until 10 minutes later jungkook hears the difference in the road they're driving. briefly, the car drove through gravels before smoothly going back to pavement. and then going back to driving through dirt road.

at this point, jungkook has lost any sense of direction and has no idea where he is and where they're taking him, so he slumps against the seat, trying to come up with something else. he doesn't know what they want with him.

well, he does have an inkling about what they want. 

another 10 minutes later, and the car finally stop. he hears the door being opened and closed, feels the people next to him climb out of the vehicle. except, he stays rooted to his spot, not knowing what to do since nobody instructed him to get out. 

then, a hand reaches out to him, causing him to flinch when he feels someone grabbing his arm. "chill, it's me, come on. get out." it's the guy from before, tugging him by his sweatshirt. 

he feels the gravel beneath his shoes which turn into soft grass after a few steps. when he steps inside the building, the first thing he notices is the smell. smell of old, rotting wood and dust. 

somebody yanks the black cloth off his head, revealing an old empty warehouse with a chair in the middle. that's where he'll be spending his time, he guesses. 

he hears the crinkling of his bag from the side, looking to see the guy from before dumping his snacks into the table next to the window. "minhee, tie him to the chair. I'm just gonna take a look at his taste in snacks." 

the girl who threatened him steps forward, shoving him in the direction of the chair. "sit here, pretty boy." 

the driver from before brushes past his side before he got the chance to move, murmuring, "please don't worry. we're not gonna hurt you. i promise." oddly enough, jungkook believes her. 

after the reassurance from someone he doesn't even know, he complies with the girl, that he now know as minhee. for the first time in the last hour, jungkook finally opens his mouth. "are you not worried about revealing your name like that?" 

minhee raises her eyebrow and scoffs, husky voice laced with amusement, "if it's not safe then do you think he'd have said it?" she yanks the rope around his wrist harshly, "i told you, we're not stupid." she doesn't elaborate, not like jungkook was expecting her to. 

"haeun, did you queue the message?" she turns to look at the girl who sat next to him, the one with the terrifyingly sweet voice. a cheery voice replies from somewhere in the warehouse, "yup! all set. he'll receive the message first thing in the morning!" 

"and did you take care of any possible recording or evidence?" he sees the guy opening one of his chips, turning away from him to pull down his mask to pop a few into his mouth. his voice sounds clearer without the barrier of the mask. 

the sweet one, haeun, scoffs, "what do you think of me, yoongi? an amateur?" he sees yoongi shrugs, "I'm just making sure. no need to be salty 'bout it." 

jungkook is thoroughly confused, why are they using their name so freely like that? are they not worried he'll tell authority about them? though judging from what minhee said, they have reasons to not be worried. he wonders what that means. 

a new voice pipes up from one of the doorways, the girl who drove the SUV. she's the one that hasn't had a name associated with her yet. "yoongi, don't forget to feed him and give him some water." 

yoongi turns around, mask now back in place, and frowns. he sighs loudly before grabbing a container and a water bottle from a bag he didn't notice before. "I don't understand why I'm stuck with the babysitting duty." 

"oh shut up, all you gotta do is feed the kid. it's not that hard of a job." minhee snarks from where she's sitting near the window, eyes glued at the phone in her hand. 

"the kid's hands are tied, how's he gonna eat and drink?" yoongi ignores her, making his way in front of jungkook. "i told you, you feed him." driver says, clearly amused at the way yoongi grumbles and complains. 

begrudgingly, yoongi opens the bottle and tilts it towards jungkook, telling him wordlessly to drink. obviously, jungkook hesitates. what if the drink is poisoned?

the driver answers his question without him having to voice it out loud, "it's not poisoned. we're just trying to keep you away from dehydration and starvation." 

he looks up at yoongi, who has one dark eyebrow raised in question, before deciding to trust her again. seeing how they have kept their promise of not hurting him, he doesn't see why he can't accept the food and water.

yoongi makes him finish the whole bottle of water before feeding him pieces of kimbap. offhandedly, he thinks the kimbap is delicious. so much so that he's tempted to ask his captors where they got them from before resisting the urge to open his mouth and make a fool out of himself.

when he's done eating, yoongi goes back to the table with his snacks, once again facing away from jungkook to probably finish the rest of the chips he opened. the driver speaks up again from where she's standing, now perched next to the snacks table with her hip resting against the side. "don't worry too much, you'll be home in no time and we really do have no intention to hurt you. you're just…" she trails off and stares outside the window. 

"a helping hand to get us what we need." 

and then it clicked in jungkook's mind. he was right, these people wanted money and holding him hostage is a quick and surefire way of getting it. clearing his throat, he decides to brave himself and ask for confirmation himself. "what do you want from me?" he holds the stare of the girl, curious and amused eyes staring back at him. 

it's minhee who answers his question, "it's not what we want from you. it's what we want from your father." she stands up from her seat and sends a cold glare his way. 

"money." 

---

"Good morning Governor Jeon! What a lovely day today, isn't it? What a shame your son isn't able to see the sun himself today! But, don't fret, we can surely change that.

Now, Governor Jeon, all we ask from you is your cooperation and we won't hurt your precious son. Cross our hearts! We know how much you love him, so please don't worry too much. You just have to listen and comply. 

Our only demand is, you guess it! Money! We want $5,000,000 in cash, delivered at an address we'll send to you after confirmation that you had prepared the money. After you give us what we want, we'll send you a location where you can find your lovely boy. He's quite a charmer, isn't he? And his taste in snacks is pretty good, if I say so myself. Sour cream and onion potato chip is delicious.

I must remind you however, do not try to get any authority involved or we can not promise your son will return unharmed. Do not try to trick or fool us, Governor Jeon, we have eyes on you and a gun in the same room as your son. 

We know you're fully capable of giving us what we want so no negotiations, I'm afraid. Once the money reaches the location, open the bag and show us that you're not fooling us and then leave the premises and do not return back. Do not send anyone either or you won't get your son's location.

Now, as I've made clear before, if you or anyone else for that matter, violates one of the rules I've set in this message, I'm afraid your son will have to pay for that Governor Jeon. We would hate for that to happen, wouldn't we?

Anyway, you have 24 hours, starting from the moment you close this message.

Say Governor Jeon, isn't it lucky that the people that got your son are kind people who won't hurt him? Well this time at least. You should up your security around him, don't you think? It was quite easy for our people to get to him. What if somebody else got him again, but they're not as nice as us? You and him would be in big trouble, huh? Consider this as a friendly reminder from friends to friends, yeah?

Lovely time talking to you Governor Jeon! Hopefully we'll see you soon! Here's to no one getting hurt! Wait for our information!

---

jungkook quickly fell asleep last night after finishing his kimbap. it's no brainer since by the time he got to the warehouse, it must have been along the time of 1 in the morning. 

he woke up uncomfortable, back and neck complaining at the awkward angle he had to sleep in. there's a shuffling sound close to him and when he turns his head around, he sees yoongi, with new clothes but still covered from head to toe, walking towards him with another container of food. 

wordlessly, he opens the box, revealing a stack of pancakes with a side of fruits and a bottle of orange juice. he muses that at least they give him good food and one that's appropriate with the time of day. silently, he starts eating the food offered to him, eyes occasionally scanning over the room. though there's really not much to see.

the warehouse is empty save from a few scattered chairs, and a table. he notices the window from last night had been covered this morning, no natural light coming through the gaps. the only source of lightning is the few lightbulbs scarcely hang around the room.

there's a few doors to his right, but he couldn't see what's beyond it. although he can faintly hear the sounds of keyboards clicking from one of the doors, so he guess that's their temporary workspace for now. 

"what time is it right now?" he asks after finishing the last of his orange juice. "almost 10 in the morning. here's to hoping your father fulfill his end of the deal, huh?" there's an underlying threat laced around his playful remarks and jungkook can only sigh at the statement. 

"hopefully, i have assignments to finish and essays to write." at this, yoongi laugh, low and deep. "you sound much more composed than last night." 

that's true, jungkook is a lot calmer now, talking about this whole situation like it's a minor convenience. but it's because he trusts that these people genuinely won't hurt him or they would have done so by now. also because he knows one way or another, his father will somehow get him out of here. 

yoongi seems like he's expecting an answer from him, so he truthfully tells him his reasons. despite not being able to see his lower face, jungkook can tell he's smirking after he finished relaying his thoughts. "yeah well, maybe you should worry. we can't promise we'll let you go unharmed if he doesn't comply." 

that brought his thoughts to a screeching halt, doubts and fears starting to plague his mind again. "we did promise not to hurt you, but only if you and your father listen to our demands. so your second statement is still up in the air. there's no 'one way or another" jeon, there's only one way if you want to get out safely." 

one statement and his facade of bravado crumbles. what if his father doesn't comply? what if he makes a mistakes? what will happen to him? what will they do? 

before he can scares himself further, minhee calls out for yoongi from the other room. 

"that's my cue, be patient, pretty boy. you'll be out of here soon." even in the haze of his anxiety, he can't help but frown at the nickname. "stop calling me that." 

"whatever you say, pretty boy." he hears yoongi's footsteps fade, and sighs to himself again. he cuss himself for forgetting his phone at his coffee table last night, and tries to move his wrists to see if he can loosen the tie. 

unfortunately for him, the knot is too strong. so strong that he thinks it might be the impossible knot. he scans the room for any sign of weapons, only to come up empty. which means two things. one, his captors have all the weapons. and two, he won't be able to defend himself even if he got loose. 

he hears a slight commotion from one of the rooms on his right. a second later, yoongi emerges, walking slowly towards him with his hands inside his pockets. "guess your father cares after all." before jungkook gets the chance to ask him what he means, he feels his eyes getting heavy, mind hazy, unable to fight it when his senses become dull.

"sorry 'bout that." and then everything becomes dark once again.

---

jungkook wakes up to a hand gently tapping his cheeks and a mean cramp in his neck. he slowly blinks his eyes open to see a stranger in a uniform crouching in front of him. when the stranger sees that he's awake, he's quick to gesture other people to start working on his bind, loosening the tight ropes around his wrists and legs. 

"Mr.Jeon? Can you hear me?" he blearily nods at the question, mind too hazy to start speaking just yet. he slowly looks around the room to see crowds of people searching the perimeter. he doesn't see any signs of his captors however, which probably meant that they got away after rendering him unconscious. 

he's lead to a Lexus RX that's parked outside of the warehouse, but not before being bombarded with questions from what he assumed are the paramedics. he tells them that he's fine and that they hadn't hurt him. they run a quick check on him and seem to be satisfied by his answer, letting him climb into the familiar leather of the car.

he tells the driver to drive him to his apartment, head heavily resting against the cushion of the car, "but Mr.Jeon, your father wanted to see you." 

"tell him I'll meet him when i can, right now i just want to go home and rest properly." he doesn't want to deal with his father just yet, not knowing how he's gonna react. would it be anger? concern? indifference? he tries not to think about it too much. 

thankfully his driver listened, sensing the exhaustion rolling off his being, and drove him straight to his apartment without any more questions. 

he slams the door and make sure to check that it's locked before going around his apartment to make sure it's safe. he double checks every window and room, a slight anxiety still lingering at the back of his mind. he makes his way towards the bathroom, planning on taking a shower to rid him of the heavy weight pulling his limbs down. 

on his way to the bathroom, he sees his phone lights up from where it's perched on the coffee table. curious, he snatches the phone to check the message. it's from an unknown number.

"Hey! What did we tell you, we won't hurt you right? We kept our promise! Just messaging you to tell you that Yoongi's sorry about the orange juice. We needed you to be unaware of what we were doing while we were preparing for your retrieval. Oh, and also tell your father to not investigate further too. Or something unpleasant might work it's way to your building. We wouldn't want that, do we? 

And don't even try to track this message, you won't find anything. I guarantee. I'm good at my job. Anyway, don't forget to close your windows and lock your doors, wouldn't want a repeat of last night huh? Alright have a good day now Jungkook!

-Haeun"

he doesn't realize he's trembling until the phone almost slips out of his grasp, the taunts only adding to the growing anxiety at the back of his mind. the fact that she's brave enough to send a message to his phone, with yoongi's and her name in it means she's confident that they can't and won't be tracked. imagining the sweet voiced girl brought another shiver up his spine. he doesn't know why but haeun terrifies him. 

he decides to delete the message and try to forget about the event from the last 24 hours, making a beeline towards the bathroom where he hopefully can wash off the reminder of the exhausting night. 

once he's refreshed from his shower, he flops onto his bed and stares at the ceiling on top of him. he tries to rearrange the chaotic thoughts inside his mind. 

concerningly, he thinks, he's not necessarily afraid of his captors from last night. maybe it's from the way they repeatedly assure him that they're not gonna hurt him. or from the way they fed him actual food, delicious one at that, and water. 

no, it's the thought that he's a pawn in this game that terrifies him. the fact that he's stuck in this game of politics, money and power all because his father is the governor. the thought of being taken by another group that won't be as merciful is scary. years have gone by with his father involved in the politic scene but his family had never been threatened before. should he start worrying now? 

before he can overthink like he usually does, the phone in his hand ping with another message. it's his father, asking for him to meet tomorrow to talk. closing his eyes, he sighs, shooting a quick agreement before trying to fall asleep to the sound of rain that starts pouring outside. 

---

the next day finds him sitting in front of his father, fidgeting hands placed on his lap. his father doesn't mention anything, doesn't ask about what had transpired that night. jungkook can't help but think that his father had changed. 

"i will be assigning you a bodyguard from now on, to ensure your safety." so there won't be a repeat of last time. "she will be with you at all times, except for when you're at home. and even then she will be staying at the apartment in front of yours so you can easily ask for her assistance. you are not permitted to leave and go anywhere without her. understand?" i will not let you cost me my reputation and money again.

his voice is cold, authoritative, daring jungkook to disagree with him. 

jungkook bows his head low, muttering, "i understand," without making eye contact with the man in front of him. one he's not sure he recognized anymore.

"call her in." 

jungkook hears the door open, two people coming in to stand next to his father. he sees you facing him and looks away before you can catch him staring at you. 

"her name is (y/n)." you bow your head in his direction, face carefully blank when you look up again. your hair is styled neatly, suits tailored to fit. "it's nice to meet you Mr.Jeon." he blinks at your voice, not expecting you to speak to him. "oh! uh, nice to meet you too." 

his father claps once to bring the attention back to him, "alright, you're dismissed, you can leave now." 

he quickly stands up, bowing at his father before making a quick exit. the room feels suffocating and cold. he hears you trailing behind him but doesn't turn around until he's in the elevator, going down. 

he debates on how to start a conversation with you, but you beat him to the punch. "no need to worry about making pleasantries with me Mr.Jeon. you can pretend that I'm just a shadow following you." he turns to see you with a slight smile on your face, before trailing his gaze to the holster strapped underneath your suit jacket. 

"right…" he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, "you can call me jungkook. no need to address me so formally like that." 

he sees you nod in confirmation before falling back into awkward silence. for him, at least, it's awkward. but you seem content with it. 

he walks toward the awaiting car in front of the building, his father had sent someone to drive him around in the meanwhile, not yet allowing him to leave on his own. "i heard you're moving to the apartment in front of mine?" he hesitantly asks when you settle into the seat next to him in the car. 

"yes i am. my belongings are being moved right now, actually. i will settle in tomorrow." he nods at your answer. "so, you'll be with me for," he frowns, "24 hours?" 

"not necessarily, i won't be intruding on your personal space that is your apartment, but i will be accompanying you whenever you go outside."

"including university?" he doesn't think he likes the sound of that.

you purse your lips sympathetically, "I'm afraid so." 

he stays quiet after that, looking out the window at the passing scenery to distract himself. he doesn't know what to think of this whole situation. in one hand, he's slightly relieved at the extra protection but on the other hand he's slightly uncomfortable at the thought of being followed everywhere he goes. at least, he thinks, he still has his home as his personal space.

a few minutes pass by in silence before jungkook feels you shifting next to him, body leaning forward to talk to the driver. "someone is tailing the car." 

he guesses you have intended to whisper as to not worry him, but he hears you anyway. body immediately going rigid, he moves to look at you anxiously. "what?"

you lean back after the driver nodded, sending a curt nod his way, "a car has been following us ever since we left your father's building. we will try to shake them off before reaching your apartment." jungkook feels the car turning into a busy highway, now surrounded by more cars than before.

he anxiously glances between you and the rearview mirror, trying to find the car you're talking about, but with various cars in the highway, he can't tell which one is following him. you seem to understand what he's trying to do, "black honda accord." 

he briefly sees the car you're talking about before it slips past him and speeds up, leaving him confused in his seat. when he turns to look at you, he realizes he's not the only one confused by the turn of events. you frown at the fading car, before blinking your expression back into a state of neutral. 

"why did they just, leave? what do they want?" he asks, breaking the tense silence between you. "I'm afraid i don't know either jungkook. don't worry, i have their plates memorized, I'll make sure to tell your father about it." 

the statement doesn't comfort him all that much, but he chooses to stay quiet. soon enough, he reaches his apartment building. he had always thought his apartment is safe, located in a building with strict security, but that doesn't make being followed home any less scary.

when you step out, you make sure to asses the surrounding area first, making sure nobody is following the two of you. once he reaches his apartment door, he asks you one last question. "do i have to call you when i want to go to the convenience store too?" 

he sees a slight amused smile pulling at the corner of your lips, "with all due respect jungkook, it was going into the convenience store by yourself that got you into trouble, so yes, i will be accompanying you to the convenience store too." 

embarrassed, he quickly nods and opens his door, bidding you a good night before disappearing into his apartment. he makes sure to check his whole space again, locking the doors and windows like haeun had reminded him yesterday. 

he falls into his couch, turning on the tv to some news about an anonymous donation to fall asleep to. he lets his eyes close and sleep to overtake him, trying to shake off any remaining anxiety weighing his limbs.

---

having you as his bodyguard is not that bad, jungkook thinks. on the first week, you had been quiet and serious, accompanying him whenever he went to school and hanging back whenever he went out with his friends. though he received some strange looks at school because of your presence, it also brought a sense of security and calm for him. 

after the first week of adjusting with having a bodyguard, he started breaking the ice between the two of you, occasionally striking conversation with you and asking about trivial matters. you were quiet, but you keep up with his conversation well, firing back questions after an answer to keep the conversation going. 

by week three, jungkook considers the two of you as friends. he even managed to convince you to wear normal clothes instead of the suit you always wear, when you're not going somewhere formal. a feat that he's proud of.

"it'll look weird if you wear suits when accompanying me to the convenience store." he had said one afternoon while at the library. he's procrastinating his essay, choosing to strike a conversation with you instead. "this is basically a uniform, jungkook. I can't not wear a uniform while on the job." you leaned back in your seat in front of him, arms crossed in front of your chest. he tries to not let his gaze lingered too much. 

coughing, he averted his attention to the highlighter next to his laptop, "but come on! wouldn't it look suspicious if you keep wearing that everywhere we go? why is it necessary for you to wear a uniform anyway? I'm sure they're not as practical. and they're probably not mandatory for your job." you had sighed but stayed quiet to let him speak.

"don't you need to be more subtle? and i bet it's a lot of work having to put on a suit every time i need to go out to get a cup ramen." he saw you mulling over the proposition before relenting. "fine, I'll start wearing more practical clothing but i still need to wear a suit when it's formal." jungkook nodded, "i understand, don't worry." 

you turned up with casual clothing the next day. and the first time he saw you with normal clothing, he could only stare with his mouth agape, like a fish out of water. you look smaller with the oversized sweatshirt, hair styled freely instead of the usual professional look you go for. you're also slightly shorter since you forego the boots you usually wear for a pair of comfortable sneakers. the only thought that ran through his head at the time was "find you a woman who can do both." 

by the second month of you being his bodyguard, he has started inviting you into his apartment to hang out with him. he often challenges you to play video games with him, competitive nature resurfacing everytime you win. though, he never asked to go to your place and you never offered. 

your presence lets him forget about the events that took place many months ago, providing a calm reassurance everytime he walks. now, he doesn't check his apartment obsessively anymore, merely making sure to lock the doors and the windows. it also lets him feel normal for once. 

despite being someone who works for him, you don't let that become a gap between the two of you, befriending him who sometimes finds it hard to make friends due to his status as the governor's son. 

all in all, jungkook thinks having you as a bodyguard isn't that bad.

---

walking at night doesn't feel as scary as before now, with your warm presence next to him, steps aligned with his. he chatters away about his upcoming project, asking for your opinion once in a while about a certain topic. it isn't until he feels your hand on his bicep that he realizes you had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, eyes cautiously trained in front of you. 

he frowns, turning to look at you, "what's wrong?" he follows your gaze to see two people standing at the other side of the road, appearance reminding him of those people that had captured him all those months ago. a hat, mask and a hood to conceal their identity. hands shoved into their pockets to conceal any weapon they have. 

he tenses when he feels you shift next to him, fight or flight instinct sounding in his head when he sees them slowly making their way over. he's too caught up in his mind to realize that you had drawn out your gun, shoving it into his trembling hands. "jungkook, take this. if any of them tries anything, aim and shoot." 

"wh- what? what about you?" he'd be embarrassed of the tremor in his voice if he weren't so scared. these people don't look nice. 

you throw a smirk his way, "don't worry about me." 

any reply dies on his tongue when he sees one of the people swings their fist towards you, one you quickly dodge by stepping to the side. he sees the other person charging towards him, moving away from the direction he pointed the gun at to tackle him down. 

they both fell to the ground, his back hitting the cold pavement with a loud thud. the male pins jungkook to the ground with his knees, gun having fallen away in the moment of scuffle. he draws back his fist to punch him but jungkook manage to throw him off balance by slamming his knee against his back. he pushes the male away from him, wrapping his arm tightly around their neck while searching for the gun with his other hand. 

he's momentarily distracted when he hears you yelp in pain, looking over to see you hunched over a few feet away from him. he sees the person you're fighting aiming a knife at your shoulder, sending him into panic. when he grabs ahold of the gun, he shots the person in the thigh. 

the knife clatter to the ground, a hiss sounding from the person standing in front of you. he sees you stand up to neutralize them, throwing a punch and stepping on the thigh jungkook had shot before. he then turns to the person in his arms, debating on what to do. the male senses his hesitation, using their strength to throw jungkook over their shoulder, causing jungkook to loses his grip on the gun once again. 

in the moment of weakness, the guy had managed to grab the gun from him, the barrel of a gun now pointing at his forehead. jungkook closes his eyes and brace himself, fear gripping every inch of his body, replacing the adrenaline. 

but the shot never rang. instead he hears a heavy thud, and when he opens his eyes again, you stand in front of him, gun pointed at the guy kneeling in front of you. 

"who sent you?" you ask, voice cold and emotionless, it reminded him of the first sentence you've spoken to him. the person doesn't answer, eyes trained on you while occasionally flickering to his friend still laying on the ground, obviously in pain. 

"you're not gonna answer?" your question sounds more like a statement, and a few seconds after you finished your sentence, jungkook hears the telltale sound of the police cars. you must have alerted the authority the moment you saw them. 

he sees the male nervously glancing around, fidgeting like he's trying to find a way to escape.

"go on, try to run, I'll make sure you end up like your friend over there." bleeding, unable to walk, let alone run. 

slowly, the male moves his hands out, holding it up in the air in surrender. your hold on the gun tightens momentarily before relaxing again when the police arrive to apprehend the two. 

he sees them being handcuffed and lead to the awaiting police car ready to take them to the station. you drop your hand to your side, still clutching the gun in precaution. 

an officer walks towards the two of you, placating hands in front of his body. "are you two okay? do you need medical assistance?" it's not until he mentions it that jungkook notices there's an ambulance parked next to the sidewalk, a few medics tending to the guy he had shot. 

you turn to look at him, scanning him head to toes for any injuries, "do you need medics? are you hurt?" he shakes his head, hands still shaking, "no i- I don't, i don't think so." you frown at his answer, taking a hold of his wrist gently, "still, you need to get yourself check out. let's go." 

jungkook is tempted to hold your hand but managed to refrain from it. he needs some comfort, but he's not sure if he can ask it from you. 

you lead him to the ambulance, the male from before had been taken away to the hospital, so there won't be any awkward encounter between the three of you. "he might have a bruise on his back, he was thrown to the ground twice." you tell the medics. 

he didn't realize he might've been injured too, but your words makes him realize there's a dull pulsing on his shoulder blade and his back. the medic nods, gesturing to his shirt, "may i check?" offhandedly, he nods, letting him lift his shirt to check his back, but moves to grab your hand when you turn to walk away.

"where are you going? you need to get checked out too, you probably sustain more injuries." 

"I'll get checked out later, I'm going to give you some privacy." you smile at him, hand gently prying his from your wrist. 

he furrows his eyebrows, "i don't mind, really. you should really get yourself checked." he eyes the cuts and bruises on your knuckles. "did you know your knuckles are bruised?" 

you look down at your hands, chuckling to yourself. "did you forget this is my job, jungkook? this is not a big deal." 

thankfully, the other medic is quick to agree with jungkook. "come here, let me tend to your wounds." she doesn't let you disagree, sitting you down and making quick work to clean the scrapes on your hands. 

he hisses when he feels someone poking the bruise on his shoulder blade, "just some minor bruising on your shoulder and your left lower back. when you get home, you should ice it and rest to let it heal by itself." he quietly nods and watches as his medics move to help tend to you. 

"and you, miss? any other injuries besides the knuckles?" he asks as he crouches behind you. 

you turn your head to the side, pondering the question. "probably just some bruising too since he managed to get a couple of punches." 

the medic nods, "is it okay if i check your torso?" you purse your lips, eyes flickering to jungkook at the back of the ambulance. "sure."

jungkook averts his eyes when the medics start to lift your shirt, only looking back when the male starts talking again. "there's a shallow laceration on your side, quite a few bruises too. do they hurt?" 

"not that much." 

he sees them nod, "alright we'll take care of the bleeding wounds and then you can go. don't forget to let the bruises heal." 

a few minutes later, you're walking home, side by side. he eyes the gauze around your knuckles, heart heavy with guilt.

"I'm sorry." he mutters. 

you stop to look at him, eyebrows raised in question. "for what?" "you got hurt protecting me." 

"it's my job, jungkook. you don't have to feel sorry." he sighs, kicking at nothing. "i know, but still." 

you place a comforting hand on his biceps, "and it's not your fault. don't beat yourself up." he can only nod at your statement, still uneasy at the thought of you getting hurt. the rest of the walk is blanketed with silence, millions of thoughts running through his head. he thinks about who those people were, about what they wanted. he shivers at a particular thought. what if you hadn't been there with him? what if he were alone, like that night at the convenience store? 

he doesn't want to think about it. 

when he arrives at his doorstep, you place a hand on his shoulder to stop him from entering his house. "don't forget to ice your back." jungkook blinks, he just remembered that. how is he gonna ice his own back?

he sees amusement dancing in your eyes, it's like you can read his mind. "do you need help?" 

embarrassed, he quietly nods, opening the door and inviting you in. 

"lay down on the couch, I'll get the ice." 

he complies wordlessly, laying on his stomach on the plush couch and closing his eyes. he hears you move around in the kitchen, and struggles to keep his eyes open. he hears you ask him if it's okay for you to lift his shirt, answering the question with a short grunt. 

you lift the shirt off his back, hissing when you see the bruise on his shoulder. "damn," is the only thing you say before placing the ice pack at the right spot. he tenses for a moment at the cold sensation, before melting back into the couch. "didn't they say there's another bruise, jungkook? where is it?" 

at the mention of his other bruise, his eyes pop open, realizing where it's located. "uh…" 

he waves his hand around, "don't worry about that one, i can take care of it." he can't see you but he's sure you're frowning in confusion. "i thought they said it's on your lower back?" 

"ye- yeah. yeah it is. it's um…" he's too embarrassed to tell you it's on his butt. "don't worry it's fine." 

it's silent for a few minutes, jungkook thinks you might let it go but then he hears you trying to stifle your laughter. he pouts, "don't laugh! i fell on my butt when he threw me off his shoulder!" 

you let out a single laughter before composing yourself, patting jungkook on the head. "it's okay. that's good actually, you didn't fall on your tailbone and risk injuring it." he hums at the compliment, good point, kudos to him for moving his body slightly to the side when he was up in the air.

"you sure you don't need my help compressing it?" you tease, moving off the couch back to the kitchen. "m'sure." 

"do you want warm milk, jungkook?" you call from the kitchen. "yes please!" milk sounds nice right now. 

when you come back, you place the warm cup of milk on the coffee table, "i put some honey in it, like in that movie you showed me last week." jungkook's heart clenches, you're so cute. he mutters a thanks to his folded arms, trying his best to keep his eyes open. "I'm gonna go home now, rest and take care not to aggravate your bruise too much, okay?" 

he moves his head to the side, "do you need help? with your own bruises?" you shake your head on your way to the door, "nah, it's fine. i can do it myself, i didn't get thrown to the pavement." he throws another pout your way. 

"good night, jungkook." the door closes before he can say it back.

---

a few weeks pass by without any more incidents, his body returning back to its normal condition in just a few days. for a couple of days, you diligently helped him iced his shoulder, not forgetting to tease him about the one on his butt each time. 

everytime he offered to help you with your own injuries, you always shot down the idea, telling him you can take care of yourself. so jungkook decided he'll help by going out less to let you rest a bit more, so your cuts and bruises can take their time to heal. 

he invited you over more often, offering to watch movies together with him or to play video games. sometimes you had to decline, telling him that you still have some things to do, but more often than not you'll sigh and roll your eyes fondly before agreeing. 

this week however, he hadn't seen you that much except for when you accompanied him to school. mostly because he had been cooped up in his own apartment, only leaving for his exams in the morning, studying and focusing on his big project for the rest of the day. 

he'd given you a heads up before the week started, as to not worry you when he doesn't knock on your door to ask to go the mall. 

"I'm gonna be pretty busy next week," he had said over a plate of fried rice, sitting on his dining table with you across from him. you raised one eyebrow in question. "finals week means i have to study everyday and i have to finish a project I've put off long enough."

he chewed the fried egg, gulping it down before continuing, "so i probably won't go anywhere except for school. think of it as like a vacation for you." you had nodded and smiled at him, but didn't say anything, scooping up more rice onto your spoon. jungkook didn't notice your smile didn't reach your eyes.

today is the last day kf exams for him, every finals done and project sent to his professor 15 minutes before the deadline. he flops down into the floor in a heap, exhaustion rolling off every inch of his body. he had only gotten a total of 25 hours of sleep this week, and had not been taking care of himself properly. 

he groans and stands up when he hears his stomach grumbles, making his way to the kitchen to look for some food. there's a slight headache at the back of his head, vision blurring for a moment before returning to normal. he shakes it off as exhaustion, opening the fridge only to see it empty. he tries the cupboard but comes up with the same thing. 

throwing his head back, he decides he'll have to go out to get some food, it's not too late at night yet, clock showing 8:15. walking to the door to get you, his vision blurs again when he reaches his door, hand gripping the doorknob to prevent him from falling. he definitely needs to get you now. 

when he opens the door, he finds you conversing with someone in the hallway, opening the door to let them in. he can't exactly hear what you're saying but the other voice causes a flicker of familiarity to light in the back of his mind. your eyes quickly snap to him when you realize he's standing behind the person, widening in surprise and… nervousness? fear?

he was about to ask you who it is when the person turns to look at what made you freeze, jungkook's body going rigid at the realization. the voice, the eyes, he remembers them, memories from the events all those months ago surges to the front of his mind. his vision blurs again, this time slowly going dark around the edges. only one name crosses his mind.

"minhee."

---

you watch as jungkook's body goes rigid when he sees minhee turning around, he had obviously recognized her. you hear him mutter her name before going limp and move to catch him before he collapses, supporting his weight so he won't fall to the ground and hurt himself. grunting, you adjust his body in your arms, "minhee, a little help?" 

she sighs loudly, moving to stand next to him and slinging his arms around her shoulder to help you carry him to your apartment. "the fuck are we supposed to do now?" she asks, kicking open the door and helping you move him to your couch. "i have no fucking idea." 

your mind races with all the possibilities, trying to come up with a solution to the new problem in your hand. you unceremoniously drop him to your couch, feeling his forehead to check his temperature. he doesn't have a fever, though he look pale and exhausted. you figure he hasn't been taking care of himself. 

haeun emerges from the kitchen, holding a bowl of seasoned popcorn. she munches and raises her eyebrow at the sight, "what's going on?" she looks at the boy on your couch, "why's he here?" 

you pinch the bridge of your nose, pacing in front of the door while minhee sits on the chair next to the tv. she answers haeun question for you, "pretty boy here, recognized me and then fainted." 

haeun chuckles, "he fainted because he saw you?" 

"no, i think he fainted from exhaustion and possibly dehydration, seeing minhee just add to the shock. how long do we got until he wakes?" minhee clicks her tongue, "few minutes? maybe? I don't know but you need to figure something out, quick."  

you talk out loud so minhee can hear you, maybe her opinion can help. "well, one thing for sure is we can't let him go and pretend nothing happened, can we?" she shakes her head no. 

"but, maybe we can? i can just say that he hallucinated because he was tired? do you think that would work?" she shrugs her shoulders. 

"do you think he'll believe me if i told him that?" she nods her head yes. 

you stop your pacing, "what? you think he'll believe me if i told him he hallucinated?" she plasters an innocent look on her face, blinking at you from where she sits. "i think so. pretty sure he'd believe you if you tell him the cashier at downtown McD is an alien." 

you tilt your head to the side, not understanding what she meant. "what?" before she can respond, haeun places a glass of water on the coffee table and you shoot her a grateful look. "okay you know what, you two go hide in my room. I'll try to see if i can get him to believe nothing happened." 

"no, he's not that stupid. you know that's not gonna work," a voice is heard from your doorway, and when you turn to look, it's yoongi with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

you groan in frustration, "then what am i supposed to do, yoongi?" 

sighing, he walks into your apartment, closing the door behind him. "I don't know yet but i think we should take him with us." he stares at the sleeping boy on your couch, using his shoes to nudge his knee. "it's too big of a risk if he knows and we let him go, you know that. we can't let him walk around with that knowledge, not yet. he now knows of your identity and hers. we'll figure out what to do after our main goal is done." 

minhee and haeun stay quiet, letting the two of you figure out what to do with the governor's son. "if we disappeared, they would no doubt be suspicious of me, and then my cover will be blown." yoongi sits at the table, legs crossed, "I'm sure you can figure out a reason, right?" 

you drop your head to your hands, racking your brain for any solutions. "whatever you come up with, you know I'll be able to help you with." haeun offers, watching your eyebrow furrows in deep thought. 

you look at jungkook, it's been a few minutes and he hasn't woken up yet, which probably means he won't wake up for a little while. 

hesitantly, you let them know of your plan, "i can tell his father he's going on a trip with some of his friends to celebrate and that I'll be accompanying him. I'll tell him he won't be able to reach us because we're going somewhere secluded but I'll keep him updated and that it's an impulse trip." 

you turn towards haeun, "can you deal with the logistics of all of that? tie up any loose ends and cover any tracks so he won't get suspicious. I'm going to message him right now and see what his response is and then we can go on from there." 

haeun nods, and you trust her. you trust that she'll be able to handle it, she's good at her job after all, and a genius on top of that. you quickly send the message, receiving a reply in less than 5 minutes. 

"Alright, keep him safe. I'll transfer the expense to you once you return. Tell him not to do anything stupid." 

you scoff at the response, you can't believe that would actually work. he doesn't question why jungkook didn't tell him himself? doesn't question jungkook going on an impulse trip with his friends? you wonder about his relationship with jungkook. 

but you guess right now, it's a good thing that he doesn't question you and he trusts you that much. 

"minhee, can you pack me my bags? in case anyone checks, we need to keep up the illusion of going on a trip. I'll go to his apartment to pack his." she nods and makes her way to your room, while you order yoongi to keep an eye out for him. 

you quickly walk to his apartment to pack his bag, grabbing only the necessity and some pieces of clothing, turning off all the lights and electronic appliances and taking his phone and laptop with you. once you're done, you walk back to your door, briefly musing about the security cameras. you'd need haeun's help to take care of that later. 

when you get back to your apartment, you see minhee holding two bags, standing next to yoongi while jungkook stays fast asleep on your couch. you shove the bags you're holding to haeun so you can lift jungkook with yoongi, making sure everyone have their mask on before leaving the apartment. you tell them not to wear their hood as to not rouse any more suspicions and make your way to the parking lot downstairs where you deposit him in the passenger seat of your car. 

fortunately, you didn't meet anyone on your way down or you'd have a hard time explaining the unconscious boy in your arms. climbing in to the driver seat, you pull out of the parking lot, driving to a place you know to be safe. 

"haeun, can you take care of the security footage?" she hums from the backseat, "don't worry I'm already working on it." you nod at her words, glancing at the boy next to you. 

"I'm sorry, Kook."

---

when you reach your house, you take jungkook to your bedroom to let him rest and ask minhee to get some water for when he wakes up. you need to assess the situation after he wakes up too, to determine if he remembers what happened or not, maybe you can still convince him that nothing had happened and take him back. 

10 minutes later, you see jungkook stir as yoongi and minhee steps outside your bedroom, so you gesture for them to hurry up. when jungkook fully wakes up, they're both hidden from sight, door closing quietly behind them. 

he groans from his position on your bed, hand coming up to rub his forehead. you sit next to him on the floor, tentatively touching his shoulder. "jungkook?" 

he jolts when he hears your voice, scrambling to put a gap between the two of you. "hey, hey it's okay. you're alright, you're safe." he keeps quiet, eyes wary, and you can't tell if he remembers seeing minhee or not. you keep talking in a soft voice to placate him, "you're okay. you fainted from exhaustion in front of my door. i heard a knock and when i opened the door, you collapsed before i could ask you what happened." 

you place your arms on the bed, showing him you're not gonna hurt him. "you look really pale when i opened the door, do you want some water?" you gesture to the glass on your nightstand. 

he furrows his eyebrows, glancing at his surrounding, confused eyes scanning the room. you think he might have forgotten until he opens his mouth, "are you gonna poison me?" 

you freeze, blinking at him. "what are you talking about? of course not, why would i?" 

he blinks back at you, face blank and void of emotion. "so you can use me as a "helping hand" to get what you need." he repeats the word you said to him that night, proving that he remembers. you try to play it off, "jungkook, i really don't understand what you're saying."

hesitation flicker in his eyes for a moment before disappearing again, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "minhee," is the only thing he says. 

you frown, "who?" "the tall girl in front of your door earlier." you purse your lips, he remembers. 

you sigh, dropping your shoulder and gesturing to the water, "at least drink some water first, i promise you it's not poisoned." you reassure him the same way you did that night. 

he doesn't move so you take the glass, taking a gulp of water to prove its harmless before offering it to him. he eyes the glass with distrust, gazing at you for a few moments before taking it from your hand. you notice he tries to not make any contact with the hand you have wrapped around the glass.

"jeon jungkook, if you don't forget and pretend nothing happened, i can't let you go." you sit at the couch on the left of the bed, putting more space between you so he'll be more comfortable. you put on your persona and offer him a chance to walk away.

he scoffs at your statement, "where am i? and what the fuck are you talking about? you want me to forget that you were with the person who captured me all those months ago? and goes on with you as my bodyguard? don't you think i need an explanation?" he slams the glass on the table, hand raking through his hair in frustration.

the way he phrases it captures your attention, does he not know that you were also there?

"you're in my room, and if i tell you, jeon jungkook, i can't let you leave this house. i don't want you to get more involved than you already are." 

"stop calling me that!" he nearly shouts. you widen your eyes in surprise at his volume. 

he lowers his voice, hands gripping the sheets underneath him, "don't call me jeon jungkook, don't put distance between us." 

softening your eyes, you cross your legs, softly calling his name, "i can't tell you, jungkook." he snaps his gaze towards you, recognition dawning on him.

he throws his arms up in the air, "even if you don't tell me, there's no way you can let me go anyway, right? i know about you and minhee, i know you were the one driving the car." 

there it is. confirmation. 

"but if i tell you, you'll get tangled in this mess." 

he scoffs, "like I'm not already?" 

"you might hate me if i tell you," you worry, biting your lips in an effort to not let it all spill out. the moonlight shines through the blind on your window, providing a dim light that illuminates the room. there it is, the reason you're so hesitant on telling him.

he purses his lips, "what makes you think i don't already?" 

your heart drops to your stomach at his words, tears unconsciously welling up at the corner of your eyes. 

it's a fear of yours that manifested the moment he invited you over to play games. a worry at the back of your mind when he convinced you to wear casual clothes. you know you shouldn't have let your guard down so easily, but he had been scared, lost, sad, lonely. so you give in, opening your heart for him to nestle himself in.

you close your eyes and will them back, fisting the blanket on your couch. eventually you nod, deciding you owe him an explanation at the very least. "okay."

"that night, we staged the capture. we were never planning to hurt you in any way, money also wasn't the reason." you see him starting to relax, hands fiddling with the string on his sweatpants. "we needed your father to hire someone to protect you, so i can infiltrate my way in to gather intels. we have someone on the inside, someone who will make sure I'll be the one he chooses. i also needed to keep an eye out on you to determine if you were involved." 

"the two people who attacked a few weeks ago wasn't us. they were people who wanted to get you because they realized your father will pay them if they managed to get their hands on you." 

he knows that, but keeps quiet, letting you continue with your explanation. 

you stay silent for a minute, before, "your father is involved in multiple cases of money embezzlement. he had been taking funds from a few public projects, and had also been receiving bribe money from certain companies." jungkook freezes at the reveal, mind going numb at the information.

"we are here to gather information, to reveal it to the public in due time. we are also working to expose the authority so that when we come out with the evidence, it won't be swept under the rug." you shift in your seat, wringing your hands in front of you. "i figured you weren't involved and had no idea about it." 

it's a question masks as a statement. dazed, he shakes his head. "he started doing it one year ago, and our mission had been on going for around half of that time. our information wasn't enough just yet, so we needed a way in. i had been collecting evidence, sending them to my team for them to process."

jungkook is still bewildered, mind starting to connect the dots. before he can spiral, however, you intervene his thoughts, "don't worry jungkook, the illegal money is all in an offshore account and had never been used until that night with the 5 million dollars and to pay people to keep quiet about his secret." 

he snaps his gaze towards you at the mention of the ransom money, "what did you do with those money?" 

you smile sympathetically at him, "we gave it back to the institution." his mind flashes back to the news of an anonymous donation the next day after the incident and a small weight lifted off his shoulder.

you sigh, leaning back on your seat. "I'm sorry to say but right now, you're in my room, in my house. not the apartment." 

he blankly stares at you, waiting for more explanation. "unfortunately we can't let you walk around with this knowledge, not now. but once we reach our main goal, I'll make sure you'll be able to leave safely. please believe me when i say we won't hurt you." your words are sincere, eyes gazing at his to convey your honesty.

he hears the door to your room open before he could open his mouth, two people walking in. the smooth voice of minhee cuts through the air, laced with amusement, "so I'm guessing your plan of lying to him didn't work?" 

you glare at her from your spot, "don't act like you didn't hear our conversation min." you lay down on the couch, eyes closing in exasperation. "so, what are we supposed to do now?" he recognizes the voice as haeun, a slight shiver running down his spine.

"I'm not gonna say anything." he hopes he sounds convincing enough. 

minhee scoffs, rounding the room to sit next to you, lifting your legs and placing them in her lap. "even so, we can't risk it. our identity is on the line, you have to stay here under surveillance until we can figure out what to do with you." 

"i don't see any reason why you need to keep me captive if i promise not to tell anyone. nobody will know and your identity will be safe if I'm the only one who know," he argues back, he knows it's probably pointless but it's worth a shot.

"he has a point," you mutter, haeun coming over to lay herself on top of you, crushing you with her weight. minhee swats at her but doesn't complain.

"absolutely not, we can't let him go." a new voice speaks out from the doorway. when jungkook turns his head to look, he found three males standing there, one he recognized as his driver. 

he suppresses his gasp at the fact. they walk into the room, closing the door behind them. 

"and why not?" you question from under haeun, who is squishing your cheeks with her palms, like you're too cute for her to handle. jungkook doesn't understand why she's doing that. 

"he knows too much, simple as that." it clicked in his mind when he hears the drawl of the voice. it's yoongi. 

you sound more muffled now, "but he's not gonna tell anyone, i believe him." his heart skips a beat at your declaration. yoongi raises his eyebrow at him, "yeah? but i don't." 

minhee is the one who speaks up next "so how long are we planning to keep him here?" 

yoongi shrugs and drops to the floor in a starfish position, "as long as it needs." 

his mind reels, for the topic of conversation right now, all of you seems to be very relaxed, not worried about jungkook running away and ratting you out to someone. you're basically in a cuddle pile for fuck sake. he confusedly look around, catching the eye of his driver who lift his hand to wave at him. 

"oh yeah, that's taehyung. he's also one of us. he's the one who's in charge of getting the information at first, but when we realized it won't be enough, we had to find another way." you had successfully pushed haeun away from you, rolling over so you're now lying face down on the carpet. you sigh loudly "yoongi, what are we supposed to do next?" 

the man in question snorts from his place, "i don't fucking know, isn't it your job to figure it out?" 

jungkook can stand up right now, he realizes. he can stand up and bolt out the door and away from whatever this is since all of you are distracted. oddly, he doesn't feel the need to. 

you roll over on your back, "oh! and that last guy is jimin." the guy in question lift his hand and wave, offering jungkook a friendly smile. 

"so you basically kidnapped me, again?" jungkook asks as he leans back on your bed, staring at the navy blue sheets. 

"uh… i guess? in a way?" you sound so confused, so unsure, it reminded him of the other version of you he thought he knew. he realizes the two of you would need to talk it out later. 

"you're not worried about my father?" 

"oh, well, you see, i told him that you impulsively decided to go on a trip with your friends to somewhere where we can't be reached, but i told him I'll keep him updated and he agreed." 

he nods, storing that information for pondering later when he can't sleep at night. 

the room is quiet after that, each person caught up in their own world. he sees haeun poking minhee in the face, while the girl type something in her phone. taehyung, his former driver is conversing quietly with jimin while you and yoongi appear to be asleep. 

he sighs loudly to announce that he is, in fact, still here, garnering your attention from the floor. "this is too much information for one night, can you all leave, i would like to be alone." 

they all wordlessly stand up from their spot, yoongi had to be pulled up by both minhee and taehyung, and steps outside your bedroom.

except for you. 

you scooch so you're sitting next to the bed, staring up at him, "please don't try to run away or you might get hurt in the process. we have plenty of surveillance and guards that will prevent you from leaving and i can't promise they won't hurt you while doing so." 

he holds your gaze, reading the emotion behind it before closing his eyes. "fine but we need to talk." 

nodding, you gently take his hand in yours. "i know, we'll talk tomorrow okay? you should get some rest, you did faint after all."

you stand up, letting go of his hand and walking out the door, "finish the water, I'm going to get you some food and then you can go to sleep." 

the door shuts behind you, leaving jungkook alone with his thoughts. he wanted badly to stay awake and process all the information but after finishing his meal, his eyes can't help but droop and he decides this time to let sleep overtake the chaos in his mind.

---

when he wakes up the next morning, the curtains are drawn, letting him sleep undisturbed by the blazing sun outside. he rolls over and groans, trying not to think about his situation too much or else his head will explode. 

for now, he's just gonna go out on a limb and give you a little bit of his trust, you said you trusted him last night with the identity of you and your whole team, despite how dangerous it is if people found out so he thinks he'll give you back that trust, even just a little bit. 

he was about to fall asleep again, the plush bedding and warm blanket lulling him back before the door cracks open and someone walk in. he pretends to be asleep, not knowing who it is. 

he feels the bed dip at his side, a hand caressing his head gently. he will his body to relax so the person won't realize he's awake.

"Kook, I'm sorry." it's you, whispering because you think he's still asleep. "i didn't want you to get involved in this mess but I guess… i guess I'd gotten you involved the moment i became your guard, huh?" you're rambling to yourself, hand still gently stroking his hair. "Or maybe the moment i decided to staged that incident." 

he hears you sigh, low enough that he thinks you still don't know he's awake but loud enough that he can feel your frustration through it. "i really am sorry, Kook." you whisper one last time, before standing up and tucking the blanket around his shoulder. he hears the door close, and opens his eyes, staring at the wall in front of him. 

it's the first time you call him by his nickname.

///

you watched as his friends drove away, waving from inside the car and shouting at the top of their lungs despite only being a few steps away. "bye, kook! We'll see you later! Don't forget to send us your part of the project or I'll hunt you down!" he laughed at the threat, shouting back his confirmation before turning back to you. "come on, let's get inside before we freeze out here." he ushered you inside, bright smile still plastered on his face. 

when the both of you were standing in the elevator, you turned to face him to see a thoughtful look on his face. "hey, (y/n)." you hummed in answer. "we're friends, right?" 

you blinked at his question, honestly not knowing the answer yourself but he had continued, not waiting for you to answer. "you know, i was thinking, since we're friends, why don't you just call me by my nickname? it's probably a hassle to call me by jungkook all the time, right?" 

you hesitated in answering him, because you don't know if you can. it's a warning that minhee gives you everytime she comes over, "don't get too comfortable." it floats around in your mind, plastering itself at the front of your head everytime you give in to his request in trying to befriend you. 

he silently stared at you, waiting for your answer. you pursed your lips, trying to lightly brushed it to the side without hurting his feelings too much. "hm, i don't know jungkook. i think I'll stick to calling you by that name, i need to maintain an air of professionalism, right?" 

his shoulder dropped at your answer, turning his body to stare at the elevator door in front of him. he sounded dejected when he replied, "yeah… i guess you're right." 

not wanting for him to be upset, you quickly reassured him, "but i am your friend, jungkook. just because I'm not calling you by your nickname doesn't mean I'm not." he's still tensed at your response, nodding to signified he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. 

you wordlessly complied with his request and he eventually let it go, never bringing it up again in conversation.

///

he ignores the loud chatter inside his mind, all the confusion and doubts cruising through his head. he'll make sure to talk to you later to quiet them. for now, he's going to get some breakfast. looking at the clock which read 8:43, he stands up from your bed, making his way to the door. 

only to realize he's completely unfamiliar with the house and won't know where the kitchen is. he debates on waiting for someone to get him, but his grumbling stomach protests his decision, causing him to try to brave through the house by himself. 

opening the door to your room, he's greeted by an empty house. he takes his time admiring the place, it doesn't look too big, but it does look luxurious. with marble flooring and ivory walls, the house looks like it's sparkling. he turns right to make his way down the stairs, observing the left of your room has another set of stairs that go up. 

he finds himself in what he assumed to be the living room, a place that looks more cozy down here than when he's looking at it from above. he sees a door at the side of the room, walking towards it when he hears people talking. 

he walks into the space to see haeun placing two slices of bread at the side of taehyung's face while jimin sits at the counter, giggling. "what are you?" haeun screams. taehyung answers with a deadpan and blank face, "I'm an idiot sandwich." causing jimin to laugh harder, folding in on himself, jungkook fears he might tumble off his chair. 

"okay, I'm not eating that bread, it touched tae's face. haeun! stop wasting our bread!" he doesn't realize that minhee is standing by the fridge with a bowl of cereal in her hands. "it's fine, this is tae's bread." the male sighs, taking the bread from haeun and walking over to the toaster. he pops the bread into the toaster before turning around, catching sight of a confused jungkook standing at the doorway.

"oh hey, you're awake. help yourself to some breakfast. we've got plenty." he gestures to the array of food on the table, ranging from fried rice to waffles. "why is there so much food?" is the first question that comes out of his mouth. 

"soomin stress cook." minhee answer simply, grabbing a piece of bacon and french toast and plopping them into her empty bowl. jungkook shrugs when nobody else bothered to elaborate, grabbing a plate and scooping a plate of fried rice and some noodles on the side. "dining room that way." taehyung points to the hallway that leads to the side, "(y/n) is there, i think." 

he nods at taehyung in thanks, making his way to the dining room after grabbing a glass of milk for himself. he sees you sitting at the table in the middle of the room, laptop and documents splayed out in front of you while you mindlessly munch through your plate of waffles and fruits. two other people sit at the table with you, yoongi on one side and another girl he doesn't recognize on the other. 

yoongi notices his presence first, gesturing for him to sit down at the table in front of him. jungkook frowns, is he allowed to be here right now? it seems like you're working. "yes you're allowed, we're not working on anything confidential right now." yoongi answers, apparently he had voiced his question out loud. 

nodding, he sits on the table, occasionally glancing at you from the corner of his eyes. you smile at him when he catches your eyes, mouthing "we'll talk later, i promise" before going back to your laptop. 

"hello, my name is soomin. i don't believe we've met yet." he snaps his gaze to the girl who just spoke, offering an awkward smile her way. "oh, uh. I'm. I'm jungkook." 

she smiles warmly at him, "i know, I've heard about the situation, don't worry. i believe (y/n) told you everything already, right?" he shyly nods. 

"then please don't worry, we won't hurt you as long as you don't try anything." his body goes rigid at the thinly veiled threat, hand freezing with the spoon tightly grasped between his fingers. "soo, don't scare him like that, i already talked to him." you step forward when you see him react, trying to quell the tension that suddenly fills the room. 

soomin smiles at him before looking back at you, "i know. I'm just making sure. this is our whole team we're talking about here so i just want to make it clear." 

you close your eyes and sigh, "i… i know. i just." he turns his gaze to see you biting your lips, eyes staring at the dark wood in front of you. 

"I'm so sorry." your apology sounds so small that he's sure he wouldn't have heard it if it weren't for the stillness of the room. soomin's gaze softens, hand moving to squeeze yours that lay on top of the documents, "no, hey. it's okay. it's not your fault."

there's an odd feeling sitting on his chest. a stuffiness that he can't explain everytime he hears you apologize. he decides he doesn't like it. doesn't like it when you blame yourself, doesn't like it when you sound so small like that, doesn't like it when you keep things from him. 

yoongi purses his lips at the exchange, "soo, let's go to the kitchen to get some more coffee?" he stands up with his plate and mug, (y/n)? you can take a break and enjoy your breakfast." soomin nods, leaving the two of you alone in the big dining room. 

you close the laptop in front of you, gathering the papers into one neat pile before storing them in a briefcase he didn't notice were there. the two of you stay quiet for a while, each enjoying your own breakfast at your own pace. 

eventually it's you who break the silence, "any questions you wanted answer to, jungkook?" 

he ponders it for a while, starting with "was the you i knew then was real?" 

you frown into your plate, lips forming an adorable pout that had jungkook almost cooing at the sight. "well, yeah. why wouldn't she be real?" 

he purses his lips, "did you befriend me because you have to?" this time you shake your head, "no. in fact, i wasn't supposed to. i was actually told time and time again to keep my distance." 

he gulps at your confession. 

"but i chose to be your friend anyway, because…" "because?" 

you look up to meet his gaze, honesty coloring your eyes, "because i wanted to. and because i saw that you needed, no, wanted a friend too." his gaze softens at that. 

you continue, "everything between us was real, it wasn't because it was my job to be your friend, gain your trust and betray you in the end. i-" stuttering, you bring up your hand to wipe a stray tear. "i didn't want to hurt you, even though i guess in the end, i would have regardless." 

because in the end, your goal is to take down his father, essentially betraying him in a sense. befriending jungkook wasn't part of the plan, it was something you didn't see happening while you were mulling over the plan to take down the governor. 

jungkook stays quiet, processing the information you just laid out for him. you stand up with your plate, sensing the conversation is over for now. when you pass by him, you place a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it once to provide reassurance. just before you walk out of the dining room, you ask "and jungkook, you know that I have to reveal it to the public, right?" i have to take down your father, is left unsaid.

he nods because he knows. no matter what, the people need to know about the corruption, the authorities need to do something about it, and his father needs to own up to his actions. 

you nod at him, sending a quick smile before leaving him by himself so he can think.

---

a few hours later, he finds you crouching in the garden next to the house, watering and tending to a variety of vegetables. he hesitates on how to strike up a conversation. 

"so, uh, the bedroom I'm staying in is yours?" you flinch when you hear his voice, not expecting someone else to be in the garden with you. you look up at him from your position, hands midway to picking a tomato off its vines, "oh! uh yeah." he nods awkwardly, eyes scanning the content of the garden. "where are you staying then?" 

you pick the remaining ripe tomatoes off, placing it in the basket next to you, soomin is going to be overjoyed that they've grown so well after that disastrous harvest. "in the guest bedroom next to the dining room. it's usually unoccupied so i can stay there as long as i need." 

he crouches down next to you, grabbing a tiny shears to help. you watch curiously from the side, wondering if he knows which one to pluck off and which one to leave behind. you pull out the pesky weeds next to your precious cucumbers, keeping an eye on jungkook to make sure he's not going to accidentally ruin your crops. soomin will murder both of you. 

curiouslyly, he knows exactly what to do with his tiny shears, removing the excess branches and cutting off any dead leaves and buds. "can you show me around later? around the house? it's… uh… a pretty large house." 

you eye the patch of leafy greens at the side, debating if you should pick them today or leave it another week. "yeah okay, sure." 

the air is tensed between the two of you, but you can't exactly pinpoint the reason. is it you? did the talk affect you more than you thought? or maybe jungkook just doesn't trust you anymore, given the circumstances. maybe he decided that you're-

you feel him grabbing your wrist before you can finish your thoughts, staring at his wide eyes in front of you. "you were spacing out while holding a scissors." frowning, you look down to see that you are indeed holding a scissor that look too close to your other hand for comfort. you mumble, "sorry." 

jungkook huffs at that, gentle but stern when he talks, "why do you say sorry so much? i don't think you have anything you need to apologize for." widening your eyes, you stare back at him, not understanding what he's saying. he sighs at your expression, shaking his head at you before continuing with his task. 

you decide to let it go for now when you see his annoyed expression, watching as he cuts dead leaves off your cucumbers plants. curious, you ask, "how do you know about pruning?" 

he huffs a laugh this time, "i think even without gardening knowledge, anybody will know that you need to cut off these stems and leaves." 

"yeah, but you pruned the branches of the tomatoes, the new ones." he hums at your question, "i used to help my mom when she worked in her garden." you blink at the unexpected answer, you don't think you've ever heard him talk about her in all the months you've worked alongside him. 

a small "oh" leaves your lips, not wanting to pry any further. it garners an amused smile from him. "currently, she's in another country, had been for the last two years. but we keep in contact quite often." 

you purse your lips from trying to ask a question but it seems like he reads it on your face anyway, "they both have a pretty good relationship, he's pretty supportive of her pursuing her interest." and he leaves it at that. 

the two of you work in silence for the next few minutes, making sure there's no pests or weeds left that risk ruining your, well soomin's, perfect garden. 

you stand up once you're done, almost falling over when you realize your legs fell asleep while you were working. thankfully, you caught yourself, wrapping your palms around jungkook's biceps to prevent yourself from face planting into a patch of cabbage. 

again, soomin will murder you if you damage her precious veggies. you don't know why she's so protective over her cabbage in particular. 

jungkook snickers at your blunder, placing the shears on a toolbox next to his feet. you immediately let go of him when you feel the muscles shift underneath your hands, resisting the urge to slap yourself out of it. he moves to grab the basket full of vegetables, placing a hand between your shoulder blade to help you walk. 

you turn your face away, hoping he didn't see your flaming cheeks. absentmindedly, you think, the two of you are okay.

---

you stand in front of the door with jungkook next to you, hands on your hips, "this is the front door." he blinks at you, "yeah i know?" 

you point at the room behind it, "that's the living room." "I'm perfectly aware." 

you throw your hands up, "you said you wanted me to show you around!" he laughs loudly at that, "i already know about the first floor. beside! we're standing outside the house right now! I'm 100% we look ridiculous. you're pretty bad at being a guide huh" 

you pout, "fine," and walk inside the house, flopping down onto the couch in the middle of the living room. "I'll explain it verbally instead. first floor is the living room, the kitchen, dining room, a bathroom and my bedroom." 

he maps it in his mind, your bedroom must be at the back of the dining room. "second floor is the rest of the bedroom and a family room, next to the bedroom you're staying in right now. that's just where we hangout usually." 

he looks up at the second floor at that, counting the doors, "how many people are there?" 

"10 including you." 

"there are only 7 rooms on the second floor." 

you nod, grabbing the remote at the coffee table in front of you. "jimin and tae share a room, mirae and narae also share a room." 

you turn on the television, stopping at a documentary channel, "there's also two more bedrooms on the third floor, along with a gym room, an office, and a game room." 

"big house, huh." he mutters. 

"it does have 9 people living in it so yes, it needs to be large to be comfortable, don't you think?" a voice speaks from upstairs. when he looks up, it's soomin. "i- yeah. i guess so." 

he watches as she walks down the stairs, and freezes in alarm when she stops in front of him. "I'm sorry about this morning, by the way, i was just protective of my team." 

her gaze flicks to you when she says, "surely you understand, right?" 

he purses his lips together, brows furrowing. "yeah." his gaze moves to you for a second before going back to her, "i understand." 

she nods in satisfaction, hiking her backpack higher before addressing you, "well i gotta go now. I'll be back in a few days, don't cause any trouble while I'm away, okay? please keep haeun away from my garden." 

you nod distractedly, eyes still glued on the tv in front of you, "bye! stay safe!" 

she fondly rolls her eyes before sending a quick smile his way in curtesy. she closes the front door behind her and a few seconds later jungkook hears the sound of a car driving away. 

"by the way, do i get any access to internet? phone? computer?" he knows the answer but no harm in asking. he sits at one of the comfortable armchairs next to the couch.

you hum from your seat, "I'll see what i can do but I'm afraid I can't give you your own phone or computer. haeun will probably do something about the phone situation and if you want, you can go to our game room to use the computers. everything's been secured there." 

you side eye him, "we can't really risk you making contact with anyone outside. just, you know. a lot of, uh" you stutter, obviously trying your best to not insult or hurt his feelings. he had to bite his lips to keep from laughing at your endearing reaction. 

"it's okay, i get it, really." you sigh in relief at his reassurance, nodding at him before going back to focus on the tv. 

he hears a door open somewhere, haeun emerging from the kitchen with a bag of chips in one hand. jungkook averts his stare, she still scares him a little bit, not a lot, just a little. on her way to the stairs, she tosses a box in his lap and when jungkook looks down, it's a brand new phone. 

"it's been secured, no way you can contact anyone without me finding out so don't even try." and then she disappears into one of the rooms upstairs just like that. he notices her room is the one to the left of yours.

you smile at him, "sorry, you're gonna be off the grid for a while." he shrugs at that, he thinks he doesn't mind it too much now.

---

he's only been here three days, but he already finds himself getting comfortable around your friends. once the wariness had wore off and they're sure he could be trusted, they had started warming up to him. 

jimin had been one of the first one to approach him, asking him if he wanted to work out with him in the gym room. jungkook had accepted the invitation and now jimin had dubbed him as his workout buddy since yoongi and taehyung won't budge when he asked them. 

they usually spend a few hours in the gym, exercising together and making light conversations. he finds jimin to be very friendly, sometimes a little too friendly for someone he literally just met a few days ago. 

taehyung had been the second person he befriended. apparently, walking into the game room had been enough to get taehyung to open up to you. now, taehyung pesters him to game with him anytime he has time to play, complaining that no one else in the house is interested in playing with him except for haeun who's busy most of the time and jungkook is happy to entertain him.

on the other hand, he doesn't see the trio all that much around the house, and the time he does, the interaction is usually short lived and curt. but he does feel that they're trying to be nicer to him. it's just that, with the history of their past interaction, it gets kinda awkward sometimes. 

he also doesn't see you as much as he would like now, only seeing you in the morning for breakfast and at night for dinner in the dining room, each time always checking up on how he's doing. he doesn't know where you go for the rest of the day. 

truth be told, he misses hanging out with you. 

he rolls over in bed, standing up to close the curtains when he hears a knock on his door. tilting his head to the side, he wonders who it is and opens the door to you standing in front of him, hair wet like you just took a shower, flustered. 

"uh hey." 

"hey."

"so- sorry. I'm just here to grab some stuffs?" he remembers that this is, in fact, your room. "Oh! Of course," and steps to the side, allowing you to come in. 

you make a bee line to your wardrobe, throwing the door open to grab your clothes. he hesitantly sits on his, well, your bed, hand awkwardly placed in his lap while he watches you sort your clothes into a bag you have with you. 

he coughs to get your attention, "um, you know. you can just stay in this room?" 

you freeze in your place when you hear him, "wha- what. what do you mean?" 

he notices how he phrases his question, quickly backtracking to avoid embarrassing himself, "i mean! maybe you can just stay here and i can stay at the guest bedroom you're staying in right now? this is your room after all and all of your things are probably here while i have my things in a bag and can easily relocate to the other bedroom, i also don't want to intrude on your private space." 

you turn around to sit next to him on the bed, "are you sure?" "yeah, it's fine." 

you mull over his question for a while, "no, it's okay. this room is closer to the other's rooms." 

he deflates at that, he thought you trusted him? "so it doesn't feel as stifling as that one since it's so far away." you shift your body towards him, "this room feels a lot more comfortable, so i would like for you to stay here instead so your stay here would be more comfortable too." he perks back up at that, heart skipping a beat at your thoughtfulness. "this room is also bigger." 

"you're really cute." oh shit, he said that out loud. your expression doesn't change, most likely because you're so surprised but he does see pink tinging your cheeks. 

"tha- right. oh! i mean, thanks. i- i guess?" you're really cute, he thinks. you quickly stand up, going back to your wardrobe with impressive speed, "right i need to, uh i need to pack some more clothes." 

you start shoving clothes into your bag, and jungkook worries he made you uncomfortable. 

"sorry, i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." he apologizes, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. 

you stop packing, a black garment in your hands when you turn back around to look at him. "no! it's not- I'm not- don't apologise- it's-" 

he raises his eyebrows at you, 

"I'm, I'm just embarrassed, sorry." 

"you don't have to apologize." 

"right! right, sorry." 

he chuckles at that, redirecting the conversation to another topic to avoid prolonging the awkwardness, "so, um." he doesn't really know how to bring it up but he decides to just go for it. "where have you been lately? i haven't seen you around that much." 

you continue packing some clothes and move to the desk to grab some more things. "oh, I've been kinda busy lately, with some-" you cough, "with some work. it's just some documents and things and yeah." 

he senses that you're trying to not to reveal too much which probably means it has something to do with why he's here. he decides to let it slide, not wanting to pry too much into it. "i see."

you zip up your bag once you're done, turning around to sit back beside him on the bed, "why? is something the matter?" 

"oh, no. it's just." he hesitates for a brief moment. "i just miss you, it's all." he grumbles underneath his breath, kind of embarrassed.

you take his hands in your and squeeze, "I'm sorry. i know it must be hard to adapt to a new environment without someone you're familiar with, right? I'll try to make more time, okay?" he wants to tell you he's perfectly adapted to his new environment and that he just misses spending time with you but he keeps his mouth shut, running his thumb across your knuckles. 

he nods but stays quiet, staring at your hands between his. "how about we go watch some movies? I'm free right now," you offer after hearing his prolonged silence.

his shoulders perk up at that, "really?"

smiling, you nod enthusiastically. "yeah! you can go pick a movie and I'll get some snacks downstairs." you stand up, pulling him with you out the door and guiding him to the room next door. 

he's never been to this room before. "I'll go get the snacks!" you shout as you quickly run downstairs, to the direction of the kitchen. 

the room is large, being one of the master bedroom, and cozy. half of the floor is covered with comfortable rug, soft enough to lay on with a large tv pressed against one of the walls. a shelf sat underneath it with a coffee table in front of it, surrounded by large sofas and multiple bean bags covered with blankets. 

he makes his way towards the shelf under the tv after turning on the light, browsing through the movie selection of the house. you come back a few minutes later with three large bags of potato chips and two bottles of water, dumping them on the coffee table before joining him in browsing for the perfect movie. 

he settles on the floor after picking the movie, leaning against the couch behind him so he can be closer to the chips. you lay down on the couch behind him, hand dangling over his shoulder to steal some of his chips instead. "you haven't seen this one yet, right?" he asks around a mouthful of chips. 

"no." you mumble into the couch, one hand unconsciously massaging the knots on his shoulder. he shivers at the sensation, willing himself to stay put. "do you know what kinda movie this is?"

"no." 

"it's a horror movie." 

"oh." 

he twists his body to look at you, "are you okay with that?" you blink sleepily at him, lips curving down into a confused pout, "yeah I'm fine with that." he nods at that and focuses back on the screen. 

he's pretty embarrassed to admit that he flinches more than you despite being the one who picked the movie but the feeling is overshadowed by his feelings of contentment to be able to spend some more time with you.

one movie turns into a marathon and before he realizes it, the both of you had fallen asleep, comfortable in each other's presence.

---

contrary to what you said, for the next couple of days, he actually sees less of you than before, only seeing you in the morning for breakfast. in fact, he had seen less of the others in the house too. it's like he's back in his apartment again, alone, just in a bigger space. 

today is the first time jimin had asked him to go to the gym again, citing that he was busy the last few days and unable to work out. he walks into the gym expecting to find jimin already on weights but is surprised when he sees you and yoongi at the corner of the room, sparring. 

"hope you don't mind." jimin says from next to him, wiping the sweat on his forehead with the towel around his neck. he jumps in surprise when he hears him, quickly shaking his head to bring his thoughts back, "no i don't mind it's okay." 

he steals a quick glance at you, eyes scanning over your practice clothes. flustered, he coughs when he sees you throw a punch to yoongi's rib, and averts his eyes somewhere else, feeling his cheeks heat up. 

not looking back at where you are, he makes his way to the treadmill at the other side of the room, putting his headphones on so he won't be tempted to look back. 

it's not like it's the first time he's seen you in a more casual, more revealing clothing. it's just that the sight amplifies the odd butterflies he feels on his stomach. 

he feels his heart beat a little quicker but he doesn't think it's the treadmill. for now, he'll shove it all into a box labeled "later" for him to address another time.

these past few days, he can feel the tension in the house rising without a single word being exchanged, and seeing you practice with yoongi confirms his thoughts. all of you were planning on something, he just doesn't know what. 

when he's done with his run, he takes off his headphones and moves to the weights. focusing  himself on his exercise instead of you, snapping his gaze up when he hears the door to the gym open. "(y/n), yoongi, come with me. we need to talk." soomin says, turning around to leave before receiving a confirmation. 

he sees you and yoongi stand up, gulping down water before walking out the door without so much of a nod of acknowledgement. before you close the door, you send an apologetic smile his way. 

he hopes everything's alright.

---

that night, he couldn't quell his curiosity and finds himself walking to your door after dinner. you didn't come down from the office for dinner, only appearing for a short while to grab a cup of coffee before disappearing back into your room. he knocks on the wood and waits, shifting his weight around when he doesn't hear any movement. 

he was about to turn around to leave when the door swung open, revealing you on the other side. if jungkook pays close enough attention, he can see the faint dark circles underneath your eyes. "hey jungkook. what's up?" 

"can i… can i talk to you?" he toys with the zipper on his jacket, gaze bouncing around to avoid looking at you. 

you step to the side to let him in, "sure. what do you want to ask?" 

"it's just, I'm just wondering." he sits on the chair next to the door while you take a seat on your desk where he can see piles of papers scattered on top of it. you tilt your head to the side in question, urging him to continue his question.

"why is everyone so busy lately? it seems like everyone's a little tense?"

you freeze at his question, eyes going wide for a split second before you sigh, slumping into the leather chair. "i guess i should tell you." 

he frowns, crossing his legs and placing his hands on his lap. "tell me what?" 

"we're publicizing the information tomorrow. regarding your father." 

he tries to process the words, he really did. tries to find a place in his mind where he can store the sentence, but he just couldn't. he doesn't know what to think. should he be upset? angry? terrified? sad? relieved? he doesn't know. 

he just feels numb.

you continue when you don't hear him speak, "he will be arrested and the money will be seized by the government. I'll try to damage control as much as i can so your family doesn't get the brunt of it." 

he didn't realize that you had moved to crouch down in front of him, placing a reassuring hand on top of his to bring him back from his mind. "we'll be returning from said vacation in about two days in pretense that we heard the news, and then I'll either get fired or resigned so my cover won't be blown. and i," you trail off, gripping his hand just a little tighter. 

"i really hope that you don't betray my trust. i know that, that it's risky. it's so, so risky to let you go with the amount of information you have on us. especially now that you know significantly more than anyone else ever involved with us. but i just, i can't let you get tangled in this mess much more. so i really hope that once all of this is over, i can let you go and you can move on with your life, try to forget about us. put all of this behind you and live happily.

"i hope that me trusting you with all of this won't be my downfall. because i know how easy it is for you to just walk to the authority and reveal everything you know about us. but i really really hope that my choice to believe in you won't hurt my team because i really don't want you to get hurt anymore either." 

his mind runs through every concerns you just revealed to him. pulling you onto his lap, he wraps his arms around your waist, face dangerously close to yours. "i don't want to forget about you." his voice is so faint that you doubt you'll be able to hear it if not for the proximity of your face. 

he closes his eyes and sighs, resting his forehead against yours. you place your hand on his shoulder, eyes softening at the emotions coloring his face. "it's my turn to talk now, okay?" he opens his eyes to stare at you, gaze more intense than that time he lost to mario kart. you nod mutely at his request. 

"i know you're scared of me holding this knowledge with me because you're scared that i might be angry at you and your team for what you're doing but it's not true." his gaze softens when he looks at you, soft lights framing your worried face. "I'm not angry at you, what you're doing is necessary, I'm more angry at him, angry at myself for not knowing but mostly angry at him for letting greed overcome him. so don't worry about me going to the authority, i won't."

he rubs comforting circles at the small of your back, watching as your posture relax slightly in his hold. "i also don't want to move on and forget about you. i don't want to lose you, don't want to put you and everything else behind me." it's obvious you want to interject, but you kept your promise of letting him talk. 

"despite it all, your team had become my friends too so i don't want to forget about them either. i hope that once this is all over, you'll let me stay by your side and be around you. i feel safer with you, I'm happier with you." he'll keep the rest of his confession to himself for now, deeming it not the right time just yet. 

you rest your head on his shoulder, hands unconsciously playing with their hair on his nape. "but i can't let you stay, it's dangerous and complicated." 

you sound so confused, so lost, unsure and uncertain, that all jungkook wanted to do is hold you tight to him and assure you it'll be alright. 

he rests his head against yours, "we'll figure it out. I'll be by your side, i promise." 

---

"Governer Jeon revealed to be involved in embezzlement."

"An anonymous tip was received last night, revealing that the well respected governor had been embezzling money from multiple public projects and storing them in an offshore account. Other than taking money from the goverment, it's known that he had also been receiving bribe money from multiple companies for various reasons for the past year. Many questions how he had been able to avoid detection for quite some time.

Since the information had been revealed, Governor Jeon had been arrested this morning and taken into custody to await for trials. All of the money will be seized by the goverment and will be redistributed back to the projects with lacking funds. 

It's revealed that all the money has never been used before other than paying other involved parties, except for a withdrawal of 5 million dollars a few months ago, apparently after the kidnapping of his son. Some posit a theory that the 5 million donations the next day have been from the people who took his son, determined to get the money the former governor had stolen back to it's rightful owner. 

Staffs and family members will be questioned by the police, but it is believed that none of his family members had been aware of his secret, being that he had never withdrawn the money for anything else, suggesting he was hoarding the money for himself for when his reign as the governor end next year.

Read more to find out about the full evidence submitted last night and other parties involved in the scandal."

---

jungkook busies himself by staying at the game room today, not in the mood to talk to anyone or accidentally listening to the news. it's not that he's angry at you and your team, he just doesn't want to know what kind of look they will give him. remorse? pity? disdain? 

he knows that they know he's not involved and that he's against it as much as them but he can't help but fear how the reveal might change their perspective on him. thankfully, they didn't bother him, letting him have his time alone to process everything. that, or maybe they're busy. he'd like to believe it's the former.

he also needs to brace himself for the hectic days that's to come when he gets back, no doubts he will be questioned by the police and quite possibly run into some news reporters, eager to write the story. 

he's glad that it's his break or he might lose his mind if he has to go to school on top of everything. he's restarting another game when the door opens, internally groaning to himself, he really doesn't want to be bothered today. 

he feels someone placing something on the desk next to him, it's a plate of noodles and a glass of milk. he turns his head to find you standing next to him, sending a quick smile before turning around to leave. 

he reaches for your wrist before you can take a step, patting the chair next to him when you pivot to look at him in question. you wordlessly comply, sitting down and scooting the chair closer to him. 

he's the first one to break the silence, "what am i supposed to do with the police and reporters?" 

"answer the police truthfully, they already know you're not involved, it's all just for show and protocol. same with the reporters, they just want confirmation for what they already know. I'll still be your bodyguard for the next few days, so I'll help you deal with them." 

" and if it makes you feel any better, your mom has arranged you another bodyguard for the time being."

he straightens at that, turning his chair to face you. "really? how did you know?" 

"she contacted me, said she'll assign another person to help because one probably won't be enough for now. at least until everything has settled." 

nodding, he grabs the glass and chugs the drink inside. you'd think he's taking a shot if it doesn't look like a glass of milk. 

you place a hand on his back, and he muses he likes it when you touch him. "it's gonna be okay jungkook. I'll be by your side, okay?" 

"i know." 

you spend the rest of the day in the game room with him, watching him play games by himself and occasionally making snarky comments from the side. nobody else came to bother him that day, a fact that he's grateful for. 

---

the morning came too soon for his liking, the day he has to go back and deal with everything causing his heart to beat loudly in nervousness. he hikes up the bag on his shoulder, waiting in the living room for you to come out of your room. 

haeun tosses his phone back to him and when he checks, he has hundreds of unread messages. some from his mom, a few from unknown numbers, and a lot from his friends. true to your words, it seems like everybody believes that his family and himself is in no way involved with the incident. most texts are asking if he's heard the news, if he's okay and to contact them back when he can. 

everyone seems to be aware that he's on a supposed vacation where he can't be reached and he's sure it's haeun's doing. 

he's still scrolling through his message when you come to stand next to him, with your own bags to make it look believable. "ready?" you ask.

shrugging in response, he shoves his phone into his pockets, deciding he'll deal with them later. "i guess." 

"alright, there's a car that'll come pick you up in a minute and it'll drive you back straight to your apartment." haeun tells him, walking up the stairs with a loaf of bread in her hands to get back to her room. 

a second later he sees a car pulling up to the front of the house, a sleek black SUV waiting for him. you settle yourself on the back seat, but he hesitates briefly before climbing into the car, this time without a threat of a gun pressed against his back. 

the drive is silent for the rest of the way and he's ought to thank you for that. he doesn't really want to think, let alone speak. instead, he spends his time going through his messages, replying to every message and deleting the unnecessary one, namely from press. he should probably change his number after this. 

soon enough, he arrives at his apartment building where a few reporters are waiting outside. it's not as crowded as he thought it'll be and he's glad for that. you slide out of the car before him, putting on your bodyguard persona once again before opening his door for him when you deem it safe.

they immediately rush to him, throwing questions after questions without listening for an answer first. thankfully, with your presence next to him, they don't crowd around him, standing far enough that he can still move around. he listens to what you told him last night, answering the necessary questions truthfully and that seems enough to placate them into letting him walk inside his building and away from them.

before he gets the chance to get inside the elevator however, he's stopped by your hand gently clasping around his wrist. "your mom's bodyguard is here." 

he looks to see a tall man walking his way, with a suit similar to yours and sleek back dark hair. "hello. I'm kim seokjin, your temporary bodyguard." 

he curtly nods in greeting, he just wants to get back to his apartment, not feeling like exchanging pleasantries with anyone. without saying another word, he speed walks to the elevator, pushing the buttons in agitation. 

in record speed, he reaches his door and before entering, addresses the both of you, "i want to be alone for the rest of the day, please. I'll come get you if i need to go outside." 

you nod in understanding, sending a glance to seokjin who also nods before walking to the end of the hallway. "are you gonna be okay?" you ask once seokjin is far enough. he purses his lips, "eventually," and close the door behind him. 

---

for the next few days, jungkook is preoccupied with the police and press, and when he's not going out to attend the meetings with the authorities, he stays inside and shuts himself out. you're starting to worry about him, but you know he really does need the time to himself. 

in the meanwhile, you familiarize seokjin with everything he needs to know, telling him that your contract is about to end and there's a possibility you're not going to be jungkook's bodyguard anymore. he had nod in understanding and promise to you that he'll do his best to protect him. 

you knock on the door to his apartment, nervously shifting in your place. when he opens his door, he looks exhausted, prominent dark circles decorating his face. worried, you frown, stepping inside his apartment and placing your hands on his face to examine him. 

"are you okay? you look like you haven't been sleeping." 

he closes his eyes at your touch, "yeah, yeah everything's fine, i don't know I'm just." he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer, resting his head in the crook of your neck. "there was just some things i needed to take care of. everything's fine now." 

you nod, bringing a hand up to rub his back. "i came here because i needed to tell you something." 

he hums, arms slightly tightening their hold on you. "i know, your contract ends tomorrow, right?" 

you hum in answer, pulling away from him to guide him to the couch. he sits close to you, resting his head on your shoulder and holding your hand between his. "so after tomorrow, you're not someone who works for me anymore." 

"uh huh." 

"so should i tell you i love you after your contract ends or can i tell you now?" 

you freeze in his hold, not expecting him to bring this topic up right now. both of you had been skirting around the conversation long enough. your heart skips a beat at his statement, and you try to supress the smile playing on your lips.  

"well, do you want me to tell you i love you too after or before my contract ends?" you don't know when you realize you were in love with him, but you have a feeling it's before he even fainted into your arms and had to be taken to your house. 

the realization wasn't a loud declaration, but more of a soft whisper at the back of your mind. when you told minhee about it, she had barked out a laughter and said "took you long enough to realize." 

he squeezes your hand, turning his head to place a tiny kiss on your jaw. "tomorrow then." 

laying on his bed that night, jungkook thinks tomorrow can't come soon enough.

---

the next day, you walk out of the office with lighter steps, your mission is done, your undercover role is thoroughly finished and you can finally go back to your house again. 

while packing your bags in your former apartment, you can't help but think about how jungkook will fit into the puzzle. he had stated that he wanted to stay, and had been pretty determined in his stance. you entertain the thought of him joining your team for a whole second before throwing it out the window. 

you don't want him to get hurt, you don't want him to be involved in something so complicated and confusing. you want him to be able to live normally and happily.

a knock on your door startles you out of your thoughts, you zip up your bag before placing it on the ground, opening the front door to find jungkook standing there with a big smile on his face. 

"can i come in?" 

you smile back at him, stepping to the side to let him in before closing the door behind you. 

you turn around to see him standing behind you, hands reaching out to pull you close to him. "I love you. I'm so in love with you." 

you wrap your arms around his shoulder, burying your face in the crook of his neck. you mutter loud enough for him to hear, "I'm in love with you too." 

the confession fills you with warmth and makes you feel lighter at the same time.

he moves the two of you back until he can sit down on the couch with you on his lap. "can't you just move into my apartment or something." he grumbles to your hair, hands splayed on your shoulder blade. 

you chuckle at his tone, peppering light kisses to the side of his neck that cause him to squirm. "no, i can't. I'm sorry." 

he sighs, "i guess it's fine." hesitantly, he asks, "i can still meet you and go to your place, right?" 

you pull back to look at him, pursing your lips in thought, mulling over the situation, "not yet." 

he frowns at that, "what do you mean?" 

"seokjin is your bodyguard now, you can't go anywhere without him and we can't have someone knowing about where we live or who we are, even though he has no idea about it." 

biting his lips, he closes his eyes in frustration. "so? am i supposed to wait until he's gone to see you?" 

you take his face between your hands, smoothing his eyebrows with your thumbs, "hey, i can still come over and meet you. you just can't go to our house. it'll be fine." 

his frown turns into a pout, one you want to kiss until it turns into a smile. so you gently place your lips on top of his, feeling as the corner of his lips turns upwards. he reciprocates the gestures, capturing your lips between his and pulling you impossibly closer to him. you pull back when you need air, jungkook chasing your lips before opening his eyes. you muse on how beautiful he look. 

"how about you come over to my apartment right now?" he playfully smirks at you, hands moving slowly down your back. you bit back a smile at his offer, "yeah? what for? i should be heading home right now, you know." 

he moves closer to your face, "just, you know. to play games." you try to contain your laughter, "no can do. gotta get going, have some errands to run." 

he pouts at your answer, moving to steal another kiss before relenting, "fine." 

standing up from your seat, you grin at him, slinging on the backpack and grabbing the bag you have with you, "maybe next time, kook." 

his face breaks out into a large smile at the mention of his nickname, eyes scrunching cutely. he stands to accompany you, reaching for your hand to intertwine with his. you meet seokjin on your way down, nodding at him in goodbye and gratitude. jungkook orders him to not follow him, garnering a protest from seokjin that results in a back and forth bicker between the two. you watch with amusement as seokjin lectures him, jungkook shooting back rebuttal in a playful manner.

eventually jungkook wins, letting the two of you have more time alone before having to depart. once you reach your car, you squeeze his hand one more time, reaching to plant a kiss on his cheek. he seems unsatisfied with it, moving to capture your lips between his once again.

you giggle into the kiss, feeling him smile underneath your lips. reluctantly, he parts way from you when minhee taps on the window impatiently. 

"I'll call you, okay?" 

"okay. I love you." 

you softly smile at him, eyes crinkling in endearment, "I love you too," and climb into the car. as the car drives away, you think, the two of you will be alright.

---

the sun shines brightly through the windows, causing you to groan and roll over to avoid accidentally blinding yourself when you open your eyes. the person next to you stirs, grip around your waist tightening momentarily before relaxing again. hoarsely, you cough out a question, "babe, did you forget to close the curtains last night?" 

jungkook mumbles in his sleep, something that sounds like "what are you talking about? what's a curtain?" you're not quite sure but it sure doesn't sound like "i didn't close it, I'm sorry." so you roll over again until you fall to the carpet, sitting up and dragging yourself to the window to pull the curtains close so you can go back to sleep. 

when you flop back onto the bed, you mumble sleepily into his ear, "kook, it's already 20 minutes past 8, you should probably hurry to your meeting with mirae and narae." at your words, he bolts up from his position, looking more awake like he had chugged 3 cups of coffee in one sitting. that's the effect the twins have on people, they truly hate it when people are late. 

he scrambles to change his clothes, not even bothering to go to the bathroom to freshen up, muttering a chant of "fuck shit they're going to be so fucking pissed. fucking damnit." 

he doesn't forget to kiss you before bolting out the door, slamming the door shut behind him as you hear his footsteps echoes through the house. if the twins don't get to him first, yoongi will, since you're sure he just woke him up. 

2 months ago you completed your mission and moved away from your apartment. 2 weeks later, you find jungkook at your doorstep with a proposition in his mind and no seokjin behind him. a week later, you watch as jungkook chugged a glass of beer mixed with hot sauce, something taehyung and haeun dubbed as "initiation" but jimin preferred to call it a "celebratory" drink as jungkook officially joined your team. 

it's been a little over a month since he settled into everything, and it seems like he adapted well enough into his new life. you smile to yourself at that. sure, you'd been apprehensive at first at the prospect but when you see how determined he is, you decided to relent and follow along. 

unsurprisingly, he's good at whatever task soomin threw his way, easily completing it in record speed and usually leaving her speechless when he goes to report to her. he also learned martial arts pretty quickly, something you know yoongi is pleased at because of how he call him his "best student" and "(y/n) it took you 5 months to learn this move and this guy got it in 2 days." which cause your eye to twitch in annoyance that you have to supress the urge to throttle yoongi. 

he hadn't been assigned any significant mission just yet, only helping others with theirs for now, but by the look of it, yoongi and soomin might let him lead his own mission soon, impressed by his capabilities. 

you look over to the clock at your bedside table, groaning to yourself when you see the 8:58 blinking back at you. deciding you won't be able to fall back asleep, you drag yourself downstairs to get some breakfast, remembering that yoongi is cooking today since soomin is out of town. the thought of yoongi cooking relieves you since the last time both of them were out of the house, haeun had managed to burnt 3 pots and broke two cups while taehyung stands to the side with a bucket of water in case something caught on fire. 

when you reach the kitchen, you find it to be empty, plates of waffles neatly stacked on the counter with some foil over it to keep it warm. you fix a plate for yourself and jungkook, sitting at the counter with a glass of orange juice next to you. 

before you finish your plate, you feel someone wrapping their arms around your waist from behind, jungkook's head resting against your shoulder. "i narrowly escaped their wrath." 

"yeah? how angry were they though?" 

"angry enough to keep me on garden duty while soomin is out of town." 

"huh, not too bad. once, taehyung was late for literally 47 seconds and they had his games restricted for a week." he hisses in sympathy, "yikes." 

"uhuh, they're going easy on you. i fixed you a plate of waffles already, and there's a new carton of milk for you in the fridge." you detach yourself from him, putting your dishes on the sink before turning to look at him. "i have some documents i had to send, so I'll be at the office, alright?" 

he kisses you deeply before you leave, one hand resting on the small of your back while the other holds the side of your face. 

"bro! this is a kitchen! take that shit somewhere else, some of us are single!" haeun screams from the doorway.

you part way from his lips, laughing loudly on your way out. "I love you babe." 

he shouts back from the kitchen, "I love you too!" 

yoongi shouts from his room. "shut the fuck up!" 

the house breaks into a laughter at that, and you reckon, the house feels warmer now.

[vintagedolan]

Hey lovey, i had a concept or blurb whatever you prefer to do. Maybe a little something about giving gray a massage or helping him when if poor back hurts and just being there for him. I’m so soft. Ok thank you love you! Ps make sure you are eating and drinking enough water 🥺💖

(did I get 1k words into this and then tumblr deleted it? yes. am I rewriting it bc I love you? also yes)

The first time that Grayson hurt his back, it was Ethan’s fault. A few overly-competitive wrestling moves on the too-thin mat in the garage ended with the breath knocked out of his lungs and a sore back for a week. After that, it would only flare up occasionally. Lisa took him to the doctor when he was 11, and all they said was it could be a nerve, it could be the way his muscles were wired, or it could be nothing. So they left with no answers, and he signed up for football the next month anyways, ignoring the pain after one too many tackles at practice and stealing the ice pack from the freezer every night. 

Now, at 20, without contact sports in his daily life, he had it under control for the most part.

But there was still one thing that could have him, in his words, ‘kinked up’ in no time. 

Stress.

He’d gotten a better handle on his stress over the last few years, combatting it with a good workout, a walk, even meditation. When work got stressful he knew how to brace for it, how to make sure his body didn’t have any adverse reaction.

But when Ethan decided to prank him with an elaborate set up that had him thinking the house construction got delayed for another 3 months?

Back -> kinked.

Which was why when you made it to the front door of the rental house in Laguna, Ethan answered it instead of your boyfriend.

“Is he good?” 

“He’s pouting in his room cause I got him good,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Don’t sound too concerned,” you laughed, moving past him and sliding your shoes off by the door. You followed the now familiar path down the stairs and to the right, unsurprised to hear music from behind his closed door.

If anyone else had opened it and saw what you saw, they probably would have thought it was a ritual of some sort.

Grayson was flat on his back in the middle of the bed, shirtless, staring up at the ceiling without moving a muscle. There was a candle on each of the nightstands - healing on the left, relax on the right you would later realize. Music played from the speaker in the corner, quiet enough to still be relaxing.

“Hey you.”

He perked up, but only moved his neck, looking up at you and offering the best smile he could muster. It was pitiful.

“Still hurtin’ huh?” He’d text you about the whole prank a few hours ago, and you’d hoped that maybe it had eased up before you got there. But he just shook his head with a bit of a sigh and a pout.

“Roll over baby, I’ll try to get it out.” 

He did as you said, trying to stay quiet as he tensed up at the pain. It pulled at your heartstrings, and your hands fluttered over him uselessly as he groaned a bit, finally making it over to his stomach. 

You climbed on the bed as lightly as you could, careful not to jostle him as you got situated, straddling him over his ass and letting a bit of your weight rest on him while you held yourself up with your knees.

As soon as you leaned forward and pressed your hand onto his back he groaned, but you recognized it as a pleasant one rather than a painful one.

“Just try to relax, it’ll help,” you hummed, starting to work up by his neck and shoulders.

“Your hands are tiny,” he mumbled, voice muffled a bit by the comforter. “Feels so good though.”

“Your back is just huge,” you countered, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his lions. He sighed at the feeling of your lips on him, relaxing even more as you continued your work, thumbs pressing in hard against the thick bands of muscle that ran all across his back.

“I always wanted a girlfriend so I could have somebody to rub my back,” he said, words a bit jumbled like he was about to fall asleep. Sure enough, when you leaned over slightly his eyes were closed, long eyelashes practically resting on the tops of his cheeks.

“Oh yeah? You just love me for my back rubs huh,” you teased, readjusting a bit so you could move further down. 

“No baby you know that’s no- shit,” he hissed, as your fingers found the knot you’d been looking for, just shy of his spine on the right, a few inches under his tattoo. His whole body tensed under you, shifting so quickly that you had to grab onto his hip so you didn’t lose your balance.

“Swear that wasn’t on purpose. Relax baby, I’ll work it out slow,” you coaxed, peppering kisses along his skin until he was sinking back into the mattress. You made your way back over to the spot, working around the edges of it gently, slowly but surely pressing and kneading it out little by little. You could tell it was the good kind of hurt, and Grayson did his best, finally melting like a puddle when it was finally gone and his tired muscles were relieved.

“You’re magic,” he hummed, starting to roll over a bit, giving you time to move with him until you were straddling his waist, looking down at him. “Come down here.” 

You obliged, shifting off your tired knees and settling against his chest. With the smell of the candles burning you were so relaxed that you were almost sleepy, and when his warm arms wrapped around you tightly you weren’t sure you were going to be able to stay awake.

“I owe you a good back rub, you just tell me when,” He pressed a kiss into your hair, the gratitude obvious in his voice.

“I’ll let you know.” He gave the best back rubs, especially because his hands were so big. “Were you just kinked up from the prank stress? Is there anything else going on?”

“Just the stupid prank. I shouldn’t have fallen for it, but the idea of not being able to be home for another 3 months had me so worked up.”

“I know you’re ready to get back there,” you sighed, smiling as his hands moved over your back lightly, fingers grazing over the fabric of your shirt. “S’not so bad here though.”

“It’s not, but I’m just ready for us to be home, because being home means you moving in full time, and us being in our room, with our bed and our stuff.” The excitement in his voice made your heart swell a bit.

“Don’t forget our bathroom. Designed for all the activities,” you grinned, the thought of the little shower bench that Grayson had designed racing through your head.

“Activities huh? I bet we could do some of those now. Get some good practice in.”

“Hmmm, I’m not sure. Wouldn’t want you to kink your back up again or anything, I’m a one-back-rub a day type of girl,” you feigned your innocence, sitting up to give him a wide grin. “Don’t think we have an ice pack here.”

Two seconds later and he had you pinned underneath him, eyes ablaze. 

“We’ll see whose needing the ice pack in a minute.” 

[ahyesthesufferingoftvteens]

Just the Way You Are

I decided to IDK...write a ReeKai fic...cause why not?

Letting y’all know I might regret writing this tomorrow and might delete it, IDK XD.

Rated T for some swearing.

So here, have this bullshit I wrote in three days:

“...Hey...Kai’s been acting weird lately, don’t you think?”

Adam’s question startled Reeve.

He was, once again, extremely close with his old friends Mira and Adam. The entire “second round” incident, as everyone liked to call it, changed his relationship with the two for the better, especially with Adam. The two fought way less than they did before he even eavesdropped on their conversation with Mira.

He was also fairly close with Vanessa as well. He looked passed her mistakes, and she’s been a pretty chill person to hang out with. All three of these people, he could say with confidence, he could read pretty well. He could usually tell how they felt with each moment.

...Him and Kai though...

He could tell that Kai was also pretty close with Mira and Adam, and they’ve developed a special sibling bond with Vanessa it seems. But despite the fact that both of them are very close with the same friends...they never really interacted with each other.

Sure, him and Kai would sometimes converse with each other, but it wasn’t often, and always with the others, where it was more a group chat than anything. Him and Kai were simply acquaintances. Acquaintances that got along pretty well, but it never became anything more than that. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in getting to know the red-head better...it just kind of...never happened. The two only ever saw each other when someone from the group was also around.

Adam’s question startled Reeve because, unlike the others, who probably instantly noticed these changes Adam was referring to, Reeve only realized the change in that exact moment. Because he wasn’t close to Kai, he didn’t pay attention to him much. It was only when he quickly looked back at his interactions with Kai this month that he realized that, yes, Kai was acting a bit strange.

The dork was the type to stick chopsticks up his mouth and make walrus noises as a joke. The type to develop gadgets that had a 50/50 chance of either working spectacularly or burn the house down. Luckily he had his fire controlling powers, which he gloated about every 10 minutes or so. Kai was a fucking nerd, but not in a bad way, at least to Reeve. Kai’s quirks were charming.

...Lately however, Kai had begun to quiet down. He spoke less often, and the topics he brought up were a lot more general. “Have you heard of the latest Movie Weirdie implemented! A cult classic! I’ve always wanted to watch it!” Was replaced with, “So how was your day?” He gloated less, he didn’t do the stupid chopstick thing anymore, and most importantly...he looked sad.

“...Now that I think about it...yeah...he kind of has...” Reeve responded, shifting his comfortable position on Adam’s couch, and pausing Fire emblem on his switch.

Adam had returned from his trip to the kitchen, placing the last bowl of popcorn onto the nearby coffee table. 5 in total, for five people. It was movie night, and the others haven’t arrived yet. “I want to talk with him later...ask him what’s going on. I’m worried, he isn’t himself.”

“So why haven’t you?” Reeve questioned his best friend, who sighed and shook his head, collapsing into the couch behind him, and pushing Reeve’s feet out of the way. “I’ve been trying to speak with him in private for a week now. He always has some sort of excuse. Heck, sometimes he even says he has to leave early! Remember a few days ago at the fair, when Kai announced his parents called and he needed to go home to deal with some issues? That was directly after I asked him if we could talk in private near the river.”

Reeve narrowed his eyes at this piece of information. It was definitely worrying. “...Suspicious.” Reeve commented. “...What do you think could be wrong though-”

“Sup guys!” Shouted a familiar, lilting voice, who barged through the door and appeared from the doorway to the living room. Vanessa was, as usual, stylishly dressed for the occasion. Mira, meanwhile, who followed shortly behind, was dressed for comfort first. “...You two look gloomy. Is something wrong?” Mira inquired.

The girls were quickly filled in by Adam, who both instantly agreed with his reasoning. “Yeah, Kai has been acting strange lately!” Vanessa sighed out, gently massaging her neck. “I’ve asked him time and time again if he was OK and every time I ask he looks more and more depressed!”

“...Yeah, something’s definitely off about Kai...especially since he texted me he’s not coming over a few minutes ago.”

Everyone gawked at Mira’s confession.

Kai never missed movie night. Everyone had opted out at least once, but not him. Kai was the one that started the entire thing in the first place! And he used to pick all the movies before they all established a rotation system recently.

This night would have been Kai’s turn to pick the movie, but he surprisingly declined. “I don’t have anything good I can think of right now. Sorry! Vanessa can go ahead and pick one.” Was what they remembered him saying. That alone was weird, but ditching movie night? Absolutely bizarre!

“...That’s it.” Adam grumbled, abruptly sitting up from his couch. “I’m driving to Kai’s house.”

“Adam you’re grounded right now, you can’t go anywhere outside of the house.” Mira reasoned as she crossed her arms. Adam wasn’t convinced. “My parents would understand!” He stated.

“One of your parents teaches math, which you are failing right now. It’s a miracle they even let you host movie night in the first place with how much they want you to study right now.” Vanessa’s comment silenced Adam, and after a moment, he flopped back down onto the couch, grumbling about how it wasn’t fair that he was grounded for the week just for getting a few Ds on his recent tests. Those were flukes!

“...I’ll go check on him?”

Mira, Vanessa, and Adam turned to Reeve, who had placed his switch on the coffee table. He looked perfectly calm on the outside, but on the inside, he was beginning to panic.

Why did he suggest that?! Mira’s much more suited to this kind of comfort stuff, not him! He’s not that close to Kai anyways! He simply wasn’t the right person for the job!

...But...this was an excuse to finally try and connect with Kai...Was that why?

“...You sure?” Mira questioned, confusion clear with her furrowed eyebrows. “Because...I can go instead, you don’t have to-”

“It’s fine.” Reeve reassured his other friend, sealing his fate and lifting himself off the oh so comfortable couch. “...Just...tell me where he lives...”

Huge.

Kai really was rich off his ass, as he had heard from the others. The mansion was huge, and the front yard was spectacularly decorated. For a moment he just sat there, admiring the scene before him.

But then he saw...was was it called, a gazebo? Close by the front of the house, and in it, he could see Kai’s body, lying lazily along the benches inside.

It was only when he sprinted closer, out of worry, that he realized Kai was actually awake. They stared blankly at nothing, their eyes dull. They looked almost as if their mind was in a completely different world.

Now that Reeve was directly standing in front of the entrance, He could now see Reeve. It only took his name being called for the red-head to snap out of his trance. He looked absolutely confused, his eyes bulging. He abruptly stood up from the bench and cleared his throat, trying to calm himself down. “...R-Reeve!” He laughed out awkwardly. “...Didn’t expect to see you here. Didn’t know you knew where I lived!”

“I...didn’t...Mira gave me your address a few minutes ago.” Reeve answered. Kai raised an eyebrow at this, but didn’t comment, simply muttering a small “oh” under his mouth.

Awkward silence hung between the two, slowly suffocating them until Kai formed another question in his brain. “...So uh...” He began, trailing his fingers along the gazebo fence. “...Why are you here? I mean...it’s movie night after all...don’t you want to hang out with the others?”

Reeve was quick to explain. “We were all worried when you said you weren’t coming, it’s not like you...so I came over to check on you.”

“...Oh! That’s...really nice of you!” Kai remarked, showcasing an overly cheerful smile. “But I’m fine really! I just have some stuff to do at home! Real busy you know! I have to help prepare the mansion for some guests that are coming over tomorrow! Wish I could come!”

An obvious lie. “...Oh, so you’re taking a break right now?”

Kai nearly choked at Reeve’s reasoning, but quickly regained composure and nodded vigorously. “Y-Yeah! I have around 10 to 20 more minutes before I have to get back to work!”

Awkward staring was met with awkward staring.

...

...

...

The tension is mind-crushing, holy shit.

Kai cleared his throat, avoiding Reeve’s gaze. “So, anyways, you should probably drive back to Adam’s place! I don’t want to interrupt your fun! Tell the others I’m fine-”

“I-It’s not just that!”

Kai’s smile faltered a bit. He seemed more than shocked. “...Oh...um...” He scratched his head, and let out a strained laugh. “...What’s up?”

“...I just...I want to say I’m sorry for being mean to you, back in the first round...and...I want to get to know you better.” He explained. Although that wasn’t the main reason he was here...he couldn’t say his excuse to stay was a lie either. “We don’t...we haven’t really hung out that much...y’know? Figured now would be a good time...to just...chat.” Don’t break your stone cold demeanor now Reeve. You have a reputation to uphold. “...So...Is it OK if I come inside? I won’t be a bother or anything. I told everyone they could start the movie without me...they picked a shitty one anyways.”

Fuck, he was so nervous. Why? This isn’t like him...maybe it’s a result of the awkwardness from before. It was screwing with him.

Kai stood stiff as a rock, his mouth slightly agape as he stared at Reeve intently.

It was only after a few moments of silence that Kai finally nodded a slow, small yes, fidgeting with his shirt sleeves.

“...O...k.”

Reeve wasn’t much of a tea person. Yet here he was, sipping some freshly prepared chamomile tea. It was weird, how it actually didn’t taste as bad as the batch his grandma made him try once.

He watched Kai almost gather all the ingredients for a chocolate shake, but then put them all back in their proper places and made some hibiscus tea instead. He didn’t seem to enjoy it that much, as he took a small sip and sat stiffly on an armchair.

They were in some sort of fancy, parlor room. Wide, spacious, and rather modern styled. Reeve himself was sitting in the armchair opposite to Kai, a coffee table separating the two.

For a good while they just asked random questions about each other. Reeve indulged, mostly so he could eventually transition to the main reason he was here. “What’s your favorite color?” Was the first question Kai asked, which showed just how tense they both were. He obviously responded with red, and Kai responded with blue.

“...Weird, considering your power, I figured you’d like a more warm color.” Reeve commented. Kai shrugged in response. “I don’t think about aesthetic choice when it comes to power choosing...it’s more what complements my team.”

“...Have you...ever had any pets?”

“...What is this some weird version of twenty questions?” Kai giggled out, rubbing his hand against his face. “...God we’re...so awkward...”

Reeve, for some reason, couldn’t help but chuckle a bit in response. “...I mean, we don’t know each other that well, so might as well get the basic facts down...” Reeve reasoned. Kai seemed to agree, with the small smile he gave. “I had a pet cockatoo named Chipper when I was...around 8? They...flew out of my window when I was 10...I never saw them again...you?”

“Pet-less all my life...I remember when I was like...a toddler, I constantly begged my parents to let me get a cat...but it never happened.”

Back and forth, back and forth. Question after question was answered. And slowly, Reeve noted just how different him and Kai were.

Kai wasn’t that close to his parents, and vice versa. Reeve’s parents were over-doting, constantly hovering over him like a helicopter. Kai was obviously extroverted despite his awkward tendencies, and Reeve was more introverted. He liked his alone time. Kai could explain any and every piece of tech, not only due to his powers, but because those were his interests. Reeve was more the artsy type. He didn’t know what to do with a gadget, but he liked to sketch in a notebook he has at home.

Kai and him were almost opposites, counterparts. The only things they had in common were their love for video games and comic books, and their similar friends. These differences intrigued Reeve a lot. He saw a side of the world that Kai had lived in his entire life.

“Oh come on, superman would totally win in a fight with batman! It would take me more than a minute to list all of his powers!”

“Superman is too good-natured to kill someone and Batman is not. It’s not about powers, it’s about will, and Batman has the will that Superman doesn’t.”

Kai let out an annoyed huff, and crossed his arms. “...I mean, I guess it depends, Some of the comics portray Superman as the winner while in others Batman wins. The comic writers can’t make up their minds either...My favorite showdown between them was probably in...Justice League Origi...”

The way Kai trailed off at the end concerned Reeve, greatly. He looked shameful, like He made a grave mistake. Fidgeting with his shirt sleeves. Kai attempted an awkward smile, although it didn’t reach his eyes. “...But I mean...you’re probably not interested in me ranting about that, sorry...”

Reeve remembers seeing Kai do this before.

He’d speak about a topic he was passionate about, pour his entire soul into it, and then just...shut down, discarding the topic like some embarrassing photo he didn’t want people to see.

“...Hey...” Reeve spoke up. It was now or never. “...Are you sure you’re ok?”

Kai jumped at the question, and attempted to wave Reeve’s concern away with a forced giggle. “Oh, I’m fine! I just don’t want to annoy you! Let’s change the subject-”

“Don’t lie to me Kai.” Reeve growled out, silencing Kai’s excuse. “You’ve been acting weird this entire month. You haven’t been yourself at all. Everyone is worried about you.”

What Reeve didn’t expect was for Kai’s expression to harden, and for him to glare daggers at his lap. “...So that’s why you’re here huh...” He accused lowly. “Tell our friends who sent you here that I’m fine. Ok? There’s nothing wrong.”

“...Kai.” Reeve began his explanation. He was confused that Kai would assume he was doing this because he had no choice. “I volunteered to come over. I’m not doing this against my will-”

“Bullshit!” Kai stood up from his armchair, tears threatening to escape his eyes as he breathed heavily. ““I want to get to know you better” My ass! Why would you...” Kai trailed off for a moment, the tears spilling down his cheeks. “...Why would you want to hang out with me? The worthless fifth wheel of this group...why would...you want to be friends with someone like me.”

Muffled sobs filled the room as Kai hid his face into his hands and attempted to control his crying. It took a while for Reeve to process everything Kai said, but before long he had stood up from his armchair and walked towards Kai,hesitantly gripping his arms. Kai flinched at first, but didn’t struggle.

“...I...” Kai sobbed out in his hands. “...I’ve been trying to be more likeable...be less annoying for you all-”

“Is that what this is all about?” Reeve questioned softly. Kai nodded hesitantly. “...Kai...We don’t think you’re annoying at all. Everything about you is distinctly you. We love those parts about you...” Reeve, after a moment of reluctance, cupped Kai’s cheeks, and slowly coerced Kai to removed their hands from their face. “I mean, even I think you’re great...You’re quirks are charming.”

“...I-I thought...I thought you of all people hated me...” Kai strained out, small hiccups erupting from his throat as his snot filled face was shown for Reeve to see. “I think you’re really cool, you know that? You’re calm, and collected, and you read the mood well. You never make a fool of yourself. I was...never a worthy replacement for you, and now that you’re back...” Kai jerked his head away, and hid it from Reeve’s view as it faced the ground. “Adam and Mira...don’t need me anymore...I mean...that’s why they picked me to be in their team. There was an opening, and I was available...”

Reeve's heart tightened at Kai’s comment, as they stared intently at the floor, avoiding his gaze. He was partially responsible for Kai’s current insecurities. He couldn’t help but wonder, if he had tried to get to know Kai better earlier on, would this situation have happened in the first place?

His stern expression faltered, and was replaced with a guilty frown. “...Kai...I....hey, look at me.” He once more had to lift their head up, which they resisted at first, but eventually complied, and stared directly at Reeve, threatening to crumble at the sincere gaze they were met with.

“Listen...whoever told you these things, you need to stop listening to them right now.” Reeve commanded, almost begged. “You are not just my replacement. You were never that. If Mira and Adam secretly think so, then fuck them. You are you, and you aren’t going to make yourself happy by changing your very core, the thing that makes you you, just to please others. That happiness is only going to come if you love yourself, good and bad.”

The advice just came flowing through him. To him it was simple logic, and it wasn’t sure if it would even help, but according to Kai’s absolutely shocked expression. He supposed he at the very least reached Kai’s heart with those words.

“...Love myself?” Kai nearly whispered. Reeve was quick to nod a yes.

“...How?”

It was a question that left Reeve stuck in place for a good minute, as he removed his hands from Kai’s body, and massaged his temples for inspiration, for an idea that would answer Kai’s question.

Eventually though, that idea came in a flash, and he snapped his fingers, gripping Kai’s hand, much to their surprise. “Not that I’m an expert on this stuff but, let’s try something real quick. I’ll drive you there.”

“...Reeve, I don’t know about this...” Kai muttered as he stood on the thick railing of a bridge, which created a path over a chest deep river.

Reeve sat close by, on the same railing, his phone in hand. “...Listen, just, you know those pep-talks people give themselves while staring at a mirror?” Kai was quick to nod a yes, and Reeve continued. “...I want to you shout about all your good qualities on this bridge.”

“W-what!?” Kai shrieked out, earning the attention of the few passersby on the bridge. “T-there are people here Reeve I-I can’t...o-oh god they’re staring-”

“Sometimes you have to push yourself to extremes. The point of this is to teach you how to not give a fuck about what other people think about you.”

“B-but what do I say? I...don’t have anything nice to say about myself.”

“...Hey...just look at me for a minute...” And Kai did so, finding himself somewhat relaxed by Reeve’s chill energy. “Just shout the first good thing that comes to mind. Don’t try to deconstruct, just say it first thing...you got this.”

Kai, which shaking legs, slowly nodded, slowly breathed in, and shut his eyes tight. “...I have pretty hair!”

The red-head felt a brief moment of relief, before he peaked an eye open, beholding the groups of eyes that stared intently at him, judging his overly loud self-compliment. Immediately he crouched down, hiding his face, but felt a warm, firm hand on his shoulder.

Turning his head to the side a bit, he saw Reeve, still in that same spot, his eyes non-judging. “...The world didn’t end, did it?”

Kai looked around the bridge once more, and everyone went on with their lives. He wasn’t torn apart for his supposed sin. The world didn’t explode. He was fine.

Most importantly, Reeve himself didn’t think of him any less. “You’re not wrong you know.” Reeve reassured, focusing his attention on his phone once more. “Auburn’s a pretty color.”

On Reeve’s phone, was a text he had recently sent to Mira, along with a few replies.

Reeve: Had a talk with Kai, but he aint goin to come, we talkin things out, he’ll be fine

Mira: I’m super glad he’s doing better, but PLEASE CONVINCE HIM TO COME AND PICK A MOVIE!?!

Mira: VANESSA PICKED SPICE WORLD JUST FOR THE KICKS!!! PLEASE HELP US!?!

“H-hey!” Kai gained Reeve’s attention from his phone, and he raised an eyebrow, ready to hear what Kai had to say.

“...You can help out you know!” They said with a bright blush, late evening sky glowing his face. “...C-could you...compliment me more? Please?”

Reeve in that moment was completely consumed in the moment, studying each feature of the boys face.

“...You’re pretty cute, you know that?”

His complement escaped his throat without a single breath, or thought. Kai’s eye’s widened and sparkled at the sentence he quickly regretted saying out loud.

...But then Kai smiled...like...truly smiled. Letting out the most charming laugh he had ever heard. When he saw how happy they were, he instantly ceased his regret.

“I-I can’t! Y-you can’t be serious!” Kai accused in near tears, wiping his eyes and tilting his head ever so slightly. “Y-you’re joking right? Me? Cute? No way-”

“Dude I know plenty of friends who would die for the opportunity to have a cup of coffee with you.” Reeve justified his statement, a wide smirk on his face as he elbowed Kai. “Remember what this is about man. You heard me say it! Now you go say it to the world. Stand up already!”

Kai nodded, and quickly stood straight up. “I’m absolutely adorable!” He said without hesitation. Slowly opening his eyes, they sparkled with excitement, and he let out a soft giggle.

Reeve’s phone dinged, signaling another text from Mira, but Reeve ignored it. He shoved the phone in his pocket as he admired the boy before him.

You really are...

You’re amazing just the way you are...

[simpsonsnight]

Episode #197

Simpson Tide Season 9 - Episode 19 | March 29, 1998

Well suck my dick and call me catholic, I literally resized the browser window I was writing this into and lohan behold my entire write-up disappeared. Better write a crappier one before I get too pissed off to continue. This is a season 7 episode that was held-over till season 9. It was produced by Al Jean & Mike Reeces “Pieces” Reiss with a batch of other episodes they produced during season 7 that aired much later. I’m pretty sure that this episode was written and recorded significantly earlier than 1998 because who would be making a 1994-style dig at Margaret Cho like Homer does in this? Cho was the star of All-American Girl, a sitcom that aired briefly on ABC that made a big old deal about staring an Asian family. I remember it being a bit of a target. The perception at the time was that Cho was a young comic who hadn’t *quite* paid as much dues as her contemporaries but was being bolstered by a form of network tokenism. I remember her on Comics Come Home and her Pulp Comics and thinking she was funny at the time. I’ve never watched any of her stand-up movies. She was funny on Hollywood Handbook. I have never felt ill-will towards Cho, despite the fact that most of the times people say her name it’s an example of a bad comedian. But, I also don’t really care. Anyway, this one is a very funny episode, and I”m sorry that I spent most of this post talking about Margaret Cho. That’s what happens when an entire write-up gets deleted by tumblr’s graphic interface. I’m not sure what makes this episode so much better than the other Scully-produced episodes. It has a lot of the same qualities. A thin story (though Bart’s earring coming back to save the day is pretty nice), lotsa zany gags, Smithers just showing up to dance with the Villiage people on the submarine for no reason (Jesus, it’s so stupid and yet maybe the hardest I’ve laughed at a gag I’ve seen 20 times). The exploration of Moe’s soft side also continues in this episode: Homer imagines Moe cuddling a kitten and Moe, despite being conjured by Homer’s imagination, looks at Homer’s mind camera and scolds him for peering in him during an unguarded moment of kindness. It’s a gag that only works if Moe is the rough character that he once was in the classic era. Also, I am endlessly disappointed that this episode, which features Bart getting an earring, doesn’t actually include the line “Sparkle sparkle, Homer” (he merely says “sparkle sparkle” TO Homer). Being from solid homophobic Northern California stock it was very common for me to mock the practice of men wearing earrings in the 90s. I have a genuine but shallow distaste for vain/fashionable accoutrements of all kinds, and the diamond stud is something that repulses me to this day, and I take great joy and childishly ribbing modern men who wear them, calling them “girls” like I would have in grade school. “NICE EARRING YOU GIRL”. But one time a friend of mine absolutely slayed me by saying “Sparkle Sparkle Homer” when an audience camera cut to Will Smith at the Oscars. It was one of those insane laughs that caused me to have to desperately catch my breath after 2 straight minutes of uproarious laughter. Had to be there? PROBABLY!

MAIL BAG

It's very funny and interesting that you said you would vote now to Homer when the election has been over for almost two weeks. lol. I wonder if you knew that!

(obviously this was sent shortly after the election) hot tip friend, they let you vote late if you have a gun

IF YOU DON'T UNRIP THE B-SODE I WILL RE-RIP YOUR A-HOLE - Dr. Richard "Bitchtard" Dunn

Sent back when I first killed off the B-SODE! I’m glad I did!!!!! Okay I’ll let you behind the curtain this is one of my friends and the Richard Dunn reference is that I had a doctor with the same name as Tim & Eric’s Richard Dunn who sucked and misdiagnosed my hernia. I had to have emergency surgery and almost missed my friends funeral. IT WAS LIKE A TIM & ERIC SKETCH!!

from the makers of Me So Horny (the thing the prostitutes [erm EXCUSE ME? Sex WORKERS, hello!?!] say in Full Metal Jacket) and Miso Brody (Brody Stevens head in a bowl of Miso Soup, may he broth in peace) bring you a once in a life time moment...B-SODE GROADY (timelapse footage of the b-sode feature rotting away into a perfect skeleton).

This was nice :)

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Chapter 20 - A Bittersweet Surprise

Author’s Note: Woo! Chapter 20! Here we go, I'm excited! This takes place mid to late December and oh hey a strong language warning! It's been a while! This chapter contains the words 'bitch' and 'asshole'.

Chapter Summary: An akuma attack interrupts Marinette and Adrien hanging out. Afterwards, they deal with an unexpected occurrence.

First | Previous | Next

Adrien and Marinette are hanging out at her house. He had a rare gap in his schedule caused by a few last-minute cancellations. The rest of their usual group couldn’t make it, so it’s just the two of them. They’re doing homework, Marinette is writing a paper and Adrien is working on math.

One of her heaters is down, so the room is slightly colder than usual. After a while, Marinette starts to slump, leaning over onto Adrien.

“Mari, you gotta’ do your paper.” He nudges her. He doesn’t actually know what the paper is about, but it’s important for her to try to complete her homework.

“...don’ like it…makes me sad, feel bad…he ‘ould tell me it wron’, but he doesn’ kno…” It’s a longer sentence than she usually would manage, and it only confuses Adrien.

“Who? Why does it make you sad?” Maybe she shouldn’t be doing the paper if it’s upsetting her.

“...don’ like th’ fac’s...stupid…” Marinette tries to explain, while casually ignoring the first question. Even as tired as she is, she understands that her partner needs to stay a secret.

Adrien misunderstands her meaning,”You don’t like the facts? You could find other information if you think it’s stupid.”

“...can’ change fac’s they’re wha’s true…notebook say so” She sounds very sure of herself. She slumps further onto Adrien’s side. She tries to keep her eyes open, but her eyelids seem very heavy, they close every so often, and she forces them open again and again. She loses the fight eventually, her eyes close and she succumbs to sleep. 

Adrien can’t help but be tempted to read the paper. It’s not like she said he couldn’t read it. Maybe he can help with editing?

…

He doesn’t like it either. At all.

It’s an entire paper on Ladybug and her shortcomings, how she’s a bad hero and needs to improve. It’s multiple pages, and while there are specific events listed, there aren’t any outside sources referenced.

Marinette came up with all of this on her own.

It makes him think of Ladybug’s own doubts on herself - honestly the points are almost exactly the same. He can’t let Marinette turn this in. She’d said herself that she doesn’t like it.

“Mari.” He shrugs his shoulder a little, hoping to jostle her into being awake, but she doesn’t respond, “Marinette, I’d like to talk to you.”

She hums, but her eyes remain closed.

“Marinette, we need to talk about your paper.”

She blinks her eyes open, squinting. They’re unfocused and don’t seem to be taking in much. She blinks again, slower and seemingly heading back to sleep.

He prods her, “Marinette, stay with me.”

She pulls herself upright - or as upright as she’s going to get.

As he opens his mouth to begin, their phones ding in unison.

An akuma alert.

“Alright, I’ll be right back, you stay here. We’ll talk when I come back,”

She nods, and he slips into another part of the house to transform.

Ladybug must have been nearby, because she’s already on a nearby rooftop. She looks droopy.

“Hey, Bugaboo. How are you?”

“Try’n t’ sleep.” She scrunches up her face, clearly distressed by the interruption.

“Well, we’ll try to do this fast.” 

She nods sleepily, and they head in the direction of the fight.

---

Ladybug lands in an alley. They’d defeated the akuma soon enough - only about half-an-hour - and Chat didn’t even have to use his Cataclysm. Her earrings are beeping, and she’s about to speak the words to detransform when someone spots her.

“You!”

What?

She turns to see Alya at the entrance to the alley, looking furious.

No no no no no nonono.

Ladybug hasn’t seen or heard from her in weeks. What did she do now? Alya deleted the Ladyblog, she was supposed to have stopped coming near akuma attacks.

She feels the panic welling up inside her. She freezes. Her brain is sure that if she can only stay perfectly still this threat will leave her be. Another part of her mind says to play dead, but her human sensibilities keep that in check.

“You are a monster! How could you betray your own best friend? For someone like her?!”

At first Ladybug thinks that Alya has figured out her identity, but then she continues.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a disgusting excuse of a decent person who pretends she’s some innocent snowflake! And you sided with her! Over Lila!”

What? No. No, no, no! She thought she’d finally been getting better at being a good person. Was she wrong?

“You and Lila were best friends! You were close, and you trusted each other, but then some liar plays victim and you turn sides! You bullied her! The person you called your best friend! You disgust me!”

She’s stuck. Frozen in place. What is she supposed to do? Her mind is convinced that she’s taken the safest option so far, so she just stays still, staring in horror.

“Marinette bullied her! Did you know that?! She cornered her during the school year to insult her, and Lila started believing it. Even during the summer, she messaged her from other accounts online! That good-for-nothing little bitch! Lila’s self-esteem is terrible and it’s all your fault! And hers!”

She’s having trouble breathing.

“Marinette beat Lila up the first week back and you helped her! What kind of ‘hero’ are you?! And then again, back at the museum, Marinette beat her up again and you didn’t care! Even when Lila got akumatized out of fear!”

Her vision is blurry, she can’t make out anything accurately and she hasn’t got her breathing under control.

“Even as an akuma she was scared of you! She wouldn’t leave the Louvre because she felt safer around her real friends! Even though she was an akuma!”

Alya takes another step toward her, they’re very close, but her vision is still wrong and it’s hard to tell just how close.

“Why would you do something like that?! Why would you do that?!”

She feels a sharp pain on her cheek, but can’t figure out what it is.

“Answer me, asshole!”

Someone lands in the alley.

---

Chat Noir is on his way back to Marinette’s, but he doesn’t make it far before he has to stop.

Something is wrong.

He doesn’t know what, but he can feel the panic in his chest, even if it isn’t his. It takes a moment to register, but he eventually realizes whose it is.

Ladybug.

It isn’t her panic specifically, but something in him knows that she needs him, that she is most certainly panicking and he needs to intervene.

He’d only just left. She’d left to detransform, what had happened in the time? 

The panic claws at him, and he doesn’t know what to do. He can tell she’s scared and he has to do something. He needs to help her.

He turns around. He hates that Marinette will be waiting longer for him, but she can be patient. Ladybug needs him. Now.

He hears yelling. Maybe she’d seen a new akuma, but wasn’t able to transform? 

Then he gets closer, and the words actually register with him, the voice, Alya.

Her words are sharp, harsh and clearly meant to hurt. To harm.

He can tell before he even arrives that they’re directed at Ladybug.

He can hear her earrings beeping as he peeks over the alley. Ladybug barely has time left on her transformation, and Alya’s anger doesn’t show any sign of slowing down.

Alya takes a step forward, and slaps Ladybug across the face.

He jumps down before he even thinks about it.

“You need to leave, Césaire.” He growls at the journalist.

“You! Do you know what she’s done or- Oh you’re probably just as bad as-”

“Césaire. Leave.” He’s seething - not even yelling - but the fury is clear. If he let himself do anything more, there wouldn’t be any restraint left.

“If you think I’ll-”

Ladybug has two spots left, and hasn’t moved.

“Go. Now.”

She gets the message, and stomps away. Chat turns to Ladybug immediately, face softening.

Her breathing is all over the place, her eyes are unfocused, and she isn’t actually here. Not mentally. She’s shaking. He hates to think what must be going on inside her head.

“Hey. Ladybug.” He approaches her gently and she doesn’t even react. Something in him is convinced she’s going to drop from pure fear and panic, but she remains standing.

Her earrings beep. She can’t stay here.

“Ladybug, I’m going to carry you to the roof now, okay?” He speaks softly so that she doesn’t get startled, but she isn’t responding at all. He tries his best to reign in his uneasiness.

He scoops her up carefully and sets her carefully on a rooftop, he’s about to back off, but she clings to him desperately. She still hasn’t registered anything around her, but some unconscious part of her won’t let go. Her grip is loose and could easily be shaken off, but he certainly won’t be the one to do that.

---

Ladybug wants to shut down. She’s scared and it’s so draining to remember all the ways she’s terrible and all the ways she tries to correct it. She isn’t supposed to shut down though. She’s got to…

What is she supposed to do? She hears a voice - it must be Alya. That’s the main thing she remembers. Alya is yelling at her, Alya is mad. Alya hit her? She isn’t sure, that’s about the time she started zoning out. Not paying attention to anything seems safer.

The voice is still there, she still isn’t sure who it is. She’d respond, but what if it is Alya?

No no. It’d be safer to stay quiet. To stay still.

The cold beckons to her. It must have started snowing, she can feel drops of water on her. She wants to go to sleep. She’s not supposed to sleep…right?

She normally tries to stay awake, but she can’t remember why. If being awake means more Alya, then maybe she should sleep.

There’s another cold breeze and she lets it carry her away to sleep. The beeping she vaguely registers probably isn’t important anyways.

---

“Ladybug, you’re about to detransform.” He feels like it might be important to tell her, even if he’s certain she isn’t listening.

She doesn’t respond, as he expected.

“Oh, Bug, what happened?” The question is rhetorical, especially since his only audience is close to sleep.

It’s begun to snow, and it looks like it’ll only get worse. Paris is in for a blizzard.

The final beeps sound over the empty rooftops, and he focuses elsewhere.

“Chat Noir,” It’s Tikki, he can tell she’s barely managing against the cold, shivering and stuttering, “I-I th-think you need t-to know e-each other’s id-d-dentities.”

“What?!” He certainly wasn’t expecting that.

“You t-two would-d-d bo-both b-benefit. She needs y-y-you. Y-y-you’re the one she’s t-told the most a-a-a-about how she’s f-feeling. Y-you b-both need ea-each other in y-your real lives.”

“So… should I look at her?” He’s hesitant, he’s been waiting for this, but not in these sorts of circumstances.

“Yes. T-take her h-home.” The Kwami is barely still with him.

“How will I know where she lives?”

“T-trust m-m-me.”

He nods, and finally turns to the girl in his arms.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

Ladybug is Marinette.

Marinette is Ladybug.

Things are falling into place in his head, and he doesn't know what to think. He’s obviously happy because it’s Marinette! He loves her doubly. He doesn’t have a crush on two different girls, he has two crushes on one.

But, at the same time, everything that’s happened to Ladybug, happened to Marinette. Everything that’s happened to Marinette happened to Ladybug. How much can one person take?

Oh, Marinette.

The snow is falling harder now, he stands. They need to go.

Making sure Tikki isn’t at risk of falling, he takes off across the roofs. He arrives at the bakery, entering the trapdoor and shutting it carefully. He gently places his partner into her bed, accidentally knocking a notebook down as he does so.

He breathes a sigh of relief that they’re home now.

---

Author’s Note: Oh hey, a notebook fell. Oh well, I'm sure that's not relevant.

A little ironic what you're saying there Alya.

Well! The reveal! I've been so excited to post this! Don't worry, the next chapter is directly after this one.

Last chapter I said this one marked a first for Adrien, did any of you catch it? At the very end there, he referred to the bakery as 'home'. Every time I have Adrien speak/think of his house that's what I say: his house. That empty mansion is no home to him, but his friends? Marinette especially? They're his home.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave any thoughts, theories, constructive criticism, or anything really in my ask box, in replies or through reblogs. I love seeing what you think!

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[multiphandomunnies]

remnants of happiness | im nayeon

requested: nopers admin: mirae authors note: im not so sure im fully happy with this. also I wish i could make fics like these a surprise and have you discover its angst and not fluff but i needa add the warnings for people, i dont anyone gettin hurt cause of me  authors note #2: if you find any mistakes please let me know! genre: angst warnings: abuse, mental and physical  word count: 1.4k

Monday, 6:23pm, Week 1 

Your hands typed away furiously at the keyboard, eye barely even glancing down to double-check your typing or spelling. Your eyes have been hyper-focused on the girl in front of you, Im Nayeon, you don't believe in gods or goddess but something within your mind told you that they were real and Nayeon was one of them. 

She gently brushed her hair behind her ear, head slightly turning in your direction. For the split second that your eyes locked with hers, you felt your heart 20 floors and your stomach practice gymnastics. That smile, that sweet bunny-like smile, had to have been one of the cutest things you'd ever seen. 

Turning back to her friend, you couldn't remember her name but you had seen them together many times, Nayeon went back to talking to her as if she didn't just take another piece of your heart. Maybe someday, you'd get the guts to actually talk to her and not stare at her like a creep in the coffee shop. Despite giving yourself the little bumps of encouragement you knew you'd probably never be able to do it. 

You weren't like your friends, you couldn't just strike up a conversation with any given stranger. Even though Nayeon wasn't a stranger, you had her in your econ class and had talked to her a few times, so at this point, she was an acquaintance. An acquaintance that you happened to be madly infatuated with. 

Looking back down at your work your cheeks burned up in embarrassment, you hadn't been typing about the difference in healthcare between America, Germany, and China, you had been typing your nonsense thoughts Quickly backtracking you deleted everything your autopilot brain at typed and attempted to work on your assignment once more. You couldn't keep letting Nayeon distract you like this. 

It felt like hours had passed, hours spent wasting your life away studying for a degree you wouldn't even get a job, A light tap causes your eye to snap up at the source of the sound. 

There she stood, light shining down around her beautifully. 

“Hi,,, may I help you?”, you asked quietly, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so rude. Nayeon didn't seem to take offense to your tone as she simply giggled. 

“This probably sounds extremely stupid and I know what you're gonna say so I've already prepared myself. I was wondering if I could have your number?” Nayeon always had been good at one thing, confidence, or at least faking confidence, you'd never seen her look nervous, worried, and tired. She always had her shoulders back and a smile on her face. There she stood in front of you, voice wavering and fingers fiddling with her hair. 

“O,, Of course-” you shake your head at your own stutter, hands reaching for a spare piece of paper to write it down on “-here you go,” handing her the paper your hands brushed a little sending a shock to your heart.

 “Thank you Y/n,, I'll text you later,” Nayeon spun around on her heels giggling with her friend as they left the shop. 

You stared blankly at your computer, confused by what had just happened. Thee Im Nayeon was nervous because she was asking for your number.

--------------

Friday, 9:56pm, Week 5

Dating Nayeon had been one of the most amazing experiences of your life. She was the perfect girlfriend, you couldn't have asked for a better person in your life. It felt like you two had been made for each other, despite only dating for a little over a month, it felt like you had been dating for years. Dropping the box on the floor you huffed and smiled as you gently rubbed your back. 

“That's it, the last box,” you said proudly to Nayeon.

 She was moving in with you, despite her friends thinking it was a bad idea. Some would say that you were moving to fast but you didn't care, ou just knew that you and Nayeon were meant to be together. 

She giggled and tapped your nose “I think it's time we have a snack, we deserve it after all this heavy lifting,” her voice was the most calming and relaxing thing you'd ever heard before. 

“Ah, you're a smart one aren't ya? I think you're correct, we deserve a snack,” you slung your arm over her shoulder and lead her in the direction of your small and cramped kitchen. 

“Now we have to figure out if we want to cook something or order something,” you say as you stared at your practically empty fridge.

 Nayeon looked at you then back at the fridge “How about we order some Chinese,” she suggested with a laugh at how empty your cabinets were also. Nodding your head in the agreement you reached for the phone and began putting in your guys' orders. 

Within 35 minutes the Chinese had arrived and you and Nayeon laid on the couch and watched TV as you stuffed your face with the extremely greasy and unhealthy food.

-----------------

Tuesday, 3:12pm, Week 8

You knew you knew you should have listened to what everyone was saying. You were blind, blind by a love that was never there and never existed in the first place. Nayeon wasn't some goddess sent from the heavens just for you, no she was a demon sent to make your life a living hell and she was succeeding. 

Throwing the pillow on the couch Nayeon screamed “I wasn't cheating on you, babe. I swear I was out having a few drinks with my friend Jeongyeon then we went back to her place, you could even ask her,” Nayeon had tears in her eyes, she tried to hold them back but they threatened to spill overboard. 

“You know what you are? Pathetic, you're a pathetic excuse of a human being. Why the fuck would I call Nayeon when I know she’d lie to cover up for the fact that her best friend is a dirty little lying whore,” you spat your words at her like venom, causing the tears she so strongly attempting to hold back to spill over. 

Nayeon sobbed, loudly. Hearing it made your heartbreak, maybe you were wrong to judge and accuse her, maybe she really had been telling the truth. “,,,, Is what I would've said If I didn't believe you, I believe you bae I'm sorry for getting mad,” you tried to cover up your outburst.

 Walking over to her you got angry when she flinched away from your touch “Babe,” you said in your most stern voice “I love you so much and id never do anything to hurt you, never, but you know who would hurt you? The other people, other people will try to hurt you but I won't because I love you,” you roughly pulled her into you. Enjoying the feeling of her trembling body pressed against yours. Smelling her hair the scent of cherry and jasmine soothed your heart. 

You loved Nayeon, she was perfect in every single way. She was yours, and you wouldn't let anyone else have you. They weren't right for her but you were. You were perfect for the perfect girl.

---------------

Sunday, 11:38pm, Week 12

Liar, liar, liar, liar, that's all she was. She lied, constantly. Constantly lied and broke you apart, she wasn't perfect nor had she ever been. She had always been a dirty little slut, who loved to play games with people's hearts, hearts like yours that were so caring would get ripped apart by her vicious claws. 

Despite all that, all her lies, you loved her more than words could even begin to describe, She was incredible, beautiful, amazing. She lifted you up when you were down. Every second with her was euphoric like you were high on love, and it felt beyond amazing. Staring at her figure, curled up on the ground you smiled sinisterly. 

“I love you Nayeon,-” brushing some of her sweaty hair off her forehead you continued “-and no one will ever be able to love a slut like you, except for me,” you finished, hand slapping across her face to get her attention. “Do you love me, Nayeon?’ you asked voice cracking. 

Nayeon whimpered and nodded her head “I do, I love you. I ever cheated on you baby and I promise I never will,’ she cried out, hands attempting to free themselves from the shackles you bound them too. 

“I can't trust you, baby, I just can't. Until you can gain my trust back I need you to stay here where it's safe,” you said. Standing up you cracked your neck and headed to the door of the storage room far out from the nearest city. 

“Goodbye Nayeon, I left you some food and water, I'll be back tomorrow to check up on you.”

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

I go to therapy I promise, but sometimes having to write out my thoughts helps me process things and it feels a little less like screaming into a void if I do it here. 

I really, truly despise that mental health requires constant work. Overall, I’m ok-- I’m nowhere near where I was ten years ago, and that is a very, very good thing. 

But I’m exhausted. I’m so tired, and I think I’ve been barely holding it together for a while here; and recent developments have just... thrown me for a loop. 

I feel inadequate. I feel behind. I feel pathetic. I feel unattractive. I feel lonely. 

And logically, I am aware that  most of those things are just perceptions that I have and that other people don’t view me that way. But right now, I do. 

I feel both frozen and overwhelmed at work, and half the time the days drag on forever and the other half I blink and they’re over and I’ve gotten nothing done. 

I’ve pulled myself out of and away from all of my hobbies; I still sing sometimes but I always immediately delete the recordings because they’re not good enough or no one will care. I haven’t written much of anything, really, in months because I feel stuck and uninspired and at times outright bored. 

I sat in my car the other day scrolling through my phone contacts because I wanted to talk to someone and realized that I don’t have any friends outside of internet only communication that I felt I could speak with. 

The thing is, I feel like I know a lot of people. But I don’t necessarily have anyone to spend time with. 

One person I know asked me to be in her wedding; we have a long and complicated history spanning over twenty years, and that’s the reason she asked me. But I’ve only seen her maybe three times in the last two years, and I’ve only met her fiance twice, briefly. I’m having a lot of insecurity about being in the wedding. My therapist said that not being in it would be self care; I just want to suffer through the day and then never, ever see the pictures. 

Another person I know (friend? I don’t know anymore), I haven’t seen in six months. I tried to make plans in October and she and her husband said they couldn’t do anything until after the new year because they were working on their business (Amway). We spoke on the phone the other night... I asked a few times when we could get together. The subject was changed a lot. And they’ve got some major life changes coming up, so... I don’t anticipate much improvement there. 

Another friend(???) just moved even further away, and lately all of our conversations seem to be about her and what she’s doing and how she feels about things and not much else. I don’t talk a lot. She doesn’t like what I like. She thinks my hobbies and interests are pretty stupid. She tells me, quite often, what she thinks of my choices and how I spend my time. She’s not a bad person, but a lot of work goes in to everything there, and I don’t say or do much anyway. 

I don’t begrudge anyone being in a different place in life. I know other people who are having kids, getting married, changing jobs, moving... everyone is constantly changing and adapting. 

But realizing I don’t have a single person that I feel like I can just... call, or get a drink with? That’s painful, in the deep-seated ache in my chest kind of way. 

Sometimes it feels like everyone has someone, and I’m just filler. I’m fun when there’s not another option. I’m handy in a crisis. But I’m not someone to stay friends with, or to spend time with just because. And then I figure, well.. you know... I probably caused that. 

I used to have this theory that still creeps up now and then that I called the “time-bomb”. Everyone gets sick of me eventually. Everyone will get rid of me eventually. I’ll ruin it eventually. 

And I’ve since learned that that line of thinking stems from years of depression and abuse. Usually I’m pretty good at shaking it off these days, but when it keeps happening (or I feel like it does) it’s harder to ignore. 

I always figured I’d at least figure out my 2-3 forever friends that would always be around, because we build our own families in life. We do. We find people that we connect with and we choose them, and they choose us and we grow and learn together. And I figured I’d found them, because my early to mid 20s they were always there, and we were building and learning and growing together. 

But now it feels like I did it again. I said something or I did something and they collectively decided to bow out, as is their right. But fuck, if it doesn’t hurt. 

There have been jokes in my family-- and it’s not cruelty, I started it, I play into it, humor has always been a defense of mine-- where my parents have started hosting dinner and game nights with semi-regularity, or planning parties at the holidays. And it’s become a thing for one of us, at some point, to say, “Hey, if you manage to find a friend before the party, let us know so we can be sure to have enough food.” 

I never have any friends at these parties. I invite the few people local enough to maybe be able to attend, but no one ever does. 

I tried going on a few dates-- even though I despise it-- in the hopes of maybe meeting someone to spend some time with. But there’s so much trauma and fear there, I don’t know how to make it past a first meet up. 

I was dog/housesitting last week and I still went home every single day for at least an hour just to make sure I could talk to someone face-to-face instead of being alone all day every day for six days. 

I go to work. I go home. I spend 20 minutes or so training my dog. I climb in bed. I put on Gilmore Girls. I read fanfiction until I fall asleep. I wake up, and I do it all over again. 

I’m stagnating. I see it, I acknowledge it, I’m aware that it’s contributing to the feelings I’m having right now. And I can’t make myself stop. Which means that things are... not great right now. If I can’t strong-arm my way through depressive behaviors, then I’m already pretty in it and have been avoiding acknowledging it. 

It happens. I’ll get through it. I have before and I will again. But I’m getting that itch under the skin “I want to run away from here and never come back feeling” and that’s started manifesting in... shall we say less than healthy thought patterns. 

I’ll figure it out. I saw my therapist yesterday. I cried a lot. I’m trying to go to sleep at normal times and to cut myself some slack. I’m making lists and trying to get things organized in my home and work life so that I don’t feel as overwhelmed, or at least have a plan day to day so I can get some things done. 

I don’t know what to do about the loneliness bit. 

But I’m tired. Lately I’ve just been turning my phone off, logging out of messaging sites, etc. No one’s going to contact me anyway. 

[rosegoldquintis]

T-shirt

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Reader                                                                

Word count: 1.5k (I haven't written this much in so long??)         

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, drunkness, swearing, me trying to write ‘angst’ and Luke being a D I C K, bad ending?

A/N: Based on T-shirt by gnash!!! This sucks but I haven’t posted in a while and idk what to do with this blog anymore gang.

Also here’s my MASTERLIST

Faded red, short sleeves

I can't forget the way you looked without your jeans on 

It's in my drawer and you're all I dream, so                                                       

I had to let you know you left it here with me

She couldn’t get the image out of her head. She tried and tried but nothing worked, so in the end she just gave up. He was still haunting her dreams and she was still deeply in love. He had just up and left one night when she confronted him about it.She had packed down everything that reminded her of Luke, everything except one shirt. It was a red button up which he loved seeding on Y/N. At first she didn’t remember why she left it hanging, so it wa soon forgotten. One day when she was cleaning out her closet which now seemed too big, she found it. It was hanging there, neatly beside her dresses and blouses.

“What are you doing to me Lu.” She said to herself as she held it in front of her. She picked up her phone and pressed the messages app, scrolled down and pressed the contact she was looking for. She started typing a message but before she pressed send she deleted all of it, closed the app and hung back the shirt.

It kills me to admit that I still want this bad

And I try to forget all the feelings I had

But each time that I look in my closet, I can't

'Cause I still got your t-shirt, do you want it back?

Sometimes Y/N would wear the shirt because she missed him, he was a big part of her life and she hated to admit it but she still loved him. Y/N had decided to get drunk on a Wednesday night because she was in pain. So here she was, after a couple of vodka shots and almost an entire bottle of wine, sitting in her closet and staring at that red fucking shirt. It had been almost a month since she found the red shirt hanging there. She would forget about the shirt and move on, but for the past week she found herself staring at the shirt. So tonight she grabbed her phone and looked through her contacts and when she came to the contact that read Lu❤️ she pressed call, after a few dial tones someone answered, the only problem was that it wasn’t her Luke who answered;

“Hello?” A woman's voice said

“Is Luke there?” Y/N whispered in a small voice.

“Who is this?” The woman asked, clearly very confused to why someone would call her lover at 1am.  

“Can you just give him the fucking phone.” Y/N spat, not understanding why she had to explain herself.

“Tell me who you are and I’ll tell him that you cal-” Before the woman could finish her sentence Y/N hung up. Around 20 minutes later her phone vibrated on the floor next to her, she looked down and unlocked her phone.

‘Why did you call Y/N?’ the text read

'Cause I still got your shirt, do you want it back?’

--

I gave you love and all you did was leave first

Then you told me that I shouldn't be hurt

I tried to hide it, but it couldn't be worse

You broke my heart and all I got was this t-shirt

Something 'bout the way I love you seems cursed

But I've learned karma tends to be a b-word

So, I hope you get everything you deserve

You broke my heart and all I got was this t-shirt

Y/N never feel out of love with Luke, but when she caught him cheating she understood that he had fallen out of love with her. At first he didn’t know that Y/N had caught him in the act, so he pretended that everything was the same, which wasn’t very hard since he had done that for almost 6 months.

One night when they were sat on the sofa in Y/N small flat she looked at the love of her life and accidently said; “How Long Lu?” Luke looked away from the TV and looked at his girlfriend.

“What do you mean baby?” Even when those words left his pretty lips he knew deep down what she meant.

“How long have you been cheating on me?” Luke’s body stiffened at those words and so many questions filled his head, like how long had she known and why she didn’t say anything until now.

“You shouldn’t be hurt you know.” He said, that made Y/N furious. How could she not be hurt? She had left almost everything behind just so she could be with the man in front of her.

“I think I'm going to go now Y/N.”

Those were the last words he said to her before he left her flat.

For the next days Y/N wandered around her flat, picking up things that he had left behind, putting gifts in boxes and she even threw away some things. When all his things were organized in a box she grabbed a black marker and in big letters she wrote ‘SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY I LOVE YOU SEEMS CURSED, BUT I’VE LEARNED KARMA TENDS TO BE A BITCH. SO I HOPE YOU GET EVERYTHING YOU DESERVE’  The box was later shoved into a closet and soon forgotten about.

--

I'd burn it in a fire if I didn't know the smell

I'd bury it six feet deep if that would help

I'd hold onto it longer, but you don't like being held

So, I'd really like to see you so that maybe I could tell you

I gave you love and all you did was leave first

Then you told me that I shouldn't be hurt

I tried to hide it, but it couldn't be worse

She tried to get rid of the shirt so many times but she was never able to fully commit. In the end of their relationship Luke seemed to avoid Y/N at all costs. She thought that she had done something to upset him but that was clearly not the case. A week after they had broke up Y/N tried to call him a couple of times, she even texted him, she needed to see him and talk to him. It’s so hard to just let someone go after spending so much together.

But he didn’t want to be around her anymore, he wanted to be with everyone but her. Over the years Y/N had became good friends with the rest of the boys in the band but they seemed to avoid her as well.

Y/N had never been a petty person but she still went and did the last thing she thought she’d do. It was a saturday evening at around 9pm, the sun would soon start setting for the night and she had downed a few drinks because alcohol was her only source of comfort right now. She put on the red button up that had been hanging in her closet, she sat down in front of her big mirror that she had in her living room, she snapped a few good photos and before she could really process what was going on she had posted it on her instagram.

The picture had a warm glow from the setting sun and you could see that she was wearing the red shirt. The caption she chose to have with the photo took the price, it read;

“Then you told me that I shouldn't be hurt, I tried to hide it, but it couldn't be worse”

As soon as the comments came flooding in she turned them off, a while later she made her account private and around 2 days later she deleted her account. The only social medias she kept was her snapchat and her blog, she also kept her twitter but deleted the app from her phone.

You broke my heart and all I got was this t-shirt

Something 'bout the way I love you seems cursed

But I've learned karma tends to be a b-word

So, I hope you get everything you deserve

You broke my heart and all I got was this t-shirt

“Hi Lu, so uh. it’s me again, so i know that you’re probably just deleting these but.” She paused and hiccuped a couple of times.

“I just had to let you know that i still love you very much. but you should know that you’re probably cursed. Because all you did hurt me. A lot” She took a few deep breaths as the tears started to roll down her cheeks.

“So know that i love you very much but please keep in mind that karma is a bitch so i hope you get everything you deserve you pathetic idiot.” She looked at her closet and for the last time she took a few deep breaths and said:      “You broke my heart into a million pieces and all i got was your stupid fucking shirt.” Then she hung up her phone and threw it on the bed beside her. And for the first time in two months she let herself cry.

Tagging some cool people: @panimation @notexactlylegal @lilbabycalum @glitterprincelu @benhardymazzello @softforcal @mathildahilda @perriwiinkle @babyplutoszx2

[freelance-arc]

Technical nonsense, overwhelm, and how to overcome them.

Heyo!

It’s been a little while since my last post. Of course, there’s been stuff going on, I just haven’t put any of it into a blog post, YET.

Unwelcome Tech Nonsense.

The essence of the back story is this; I bought a book, it inspired me, I attempted to do some graphics work based on that inspiration, the computery side of things let me down.

Bad. Times.

FRUSTRATING times…

Because, as you know, when you spend hours of your precious time trying to achieve something, to make progress, It’s REALLY flipping annoying when that work and time amounts to nothing.

The book in question is by a guy called Sean Vosler (Book link here; https://app.increase.academy/most-important-skill-guide ).

I liked his email sequence, the book itself looked nice (literally, visually very good). So I took the plunge and made the purchase. It’s a great piece, definitely recommended. He’s worked for Tai Lopez amongst others, and tbh, that was what clinched it for me.

Anyway, reading through, I was struck at how he uses font as well as phrasing to imply tonality. Copywriting is sales in print, and the more you can convey emotion, raising certainty and reducing objections the better.

This was the inspiration.

So I fired up Spark and started creating. 

3 Hours. 3 Hours on a Saturday afternoon, adding text, moving, resizing, blah blah. This was kinda the POINT of the exercise, to see what I could make up, especially being a complete graphics noob. But Spark’s quite intuitive, so it’s not so bad. 

Feeling all smug and pleased with myself I downloaded the image I’d so finely crafted. Guess I also downloaded all the unwelcome tech nonsense too. (I’m being dramatic, it wasn’t a virus or nothin, just a big pile of steamy digital baloney).

Darn. Half of it was missing.

F. L. I. P.

I’ll get right to the point. If anything like this happens to you, 

CLEAR OUT YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE.

To fix the problem, I cleared out the cache in Chrome for the previous month. Issue solved.

Apparently, if the cache becomes corrupted for any reason, it affects the browsers loading time, downloads, it can freeze unexpectedly… All the issues I was having. 

I’d cleared out old files, deleted unused programs, defragged. I ran updates just in case. None of them fixed the problems of my handiwork getting mashed.

So yea, don’t make my mistake. Any issues with your browser or web-based applications, clear out the cache FIRST. It’ll save you a lot of swearing I can tell you.

(Yea, I know. It leaves a lot to be desired. But it DOES prove the concept.)

Overwhelm.

As you can imagine, dealing with stupid technology when you already have a thousand things to do isn’t productive. It causes a bottleneck. Well, any issue does really. But things start to back up. 

When that thing you’re doing is the next step in your plan, what you’ve based all your other next steps on, you then have to take further time to figure out a workaround or solve it or both. 

Building a business and a dream lifestyle from scratch is a lot of work. Skills need learning, social proof creating, domains set up. Hell, you gotta work out exactly what you’re selling, who you’re selling it to, and how you’ll sell it to them. And THAT’S the easy bit.

I have guests to invite. Microphones to find. Domains to set up, clients to get… Phew.

In my quest for knowledge I’m signing up for everything. Well, 90% of things at least. My mindset is delicate and precious, so anything I feel won’t add good things to it, I don’t chase.

In the meantime though, there’s so much great stuff out there. Loads and loads and loads of it. 

It’s not even hidden, you just have to look for it.

Stuff’s coming in thick and fast. I’ve got about 8 courses to get through, 4 books on the go, and about an hour a day to do it in. 

So anything I do, I’m neglecting something else.

It all kinda stalled me for a bit. It’s difficult to focus on doing a thing when you aren’t sure it’s the right thing to do. As a result, nothing gets done, and that CAN’T HAPPEN.

I went basic. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.

I made a list.

If you’re suffering from Overwhelm make a list. 

Make it as long as it needs to be, pour your mind out into it, personal, professional, the lot. Once it’s down on paper, or the screen or whatever, you don’t have to remember it any more.

Then, prioritise.

The list I made showed all the things that had been swimming around in my brain hole. But I could see them clearly. Instead of things bobbing to the top occasionally, making me panic because I’d forgotten about them, they were all there as plain as day.

The most important thing on that list was writing practice. Obvious. But not obvious when everything’s weighing on you and you aren’t sure what’s the right way to get stuff moving again.

So I’d suggest if you write, then write. If you dance, then dance. If you draw, draw. Whatever it is that YOU DO, the essence at the core of your dream, then do that.

I started riffing on some sales copy ideas using random household stuff. Trying to make it compelling, using copywriting formulas AIDA and the S hook to start with, getting the juices flowing. Creating emotion around Table Salt.

It worked. Seeing those words flowing out felt productive. The wheels were turning again. YES!

The next thing is to see about getting clients. A lot of the stuff that bogged me down was related to Freelance Arc. But FA is the story of how I get there to help others get there too. But the vehicle to that success is copywriting. 

I’d gotten lost in the swirl of ideas, easily done. But refocusing is good.

From here out writing will be my main priority for the short term, I’ll keep plugging away at the books for 15 minutes a night before bed, and probably squeezing in little chunks of the courses for 20 mins or so over my morning coffee.

Did you know, 20 minutes a day over a month is 10 hours? Doesn’t sound like much but it adds up. 

Don’t be that person who makes excuses. If you’re short of time, JUST DO SOMETHING!

Future you will thank you, I can tell you.

Follow Freelance Arc at the top of the page for more updates and resources.

Build your dreams.

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Episode 55 Review.

STRANGER DANGER!

I’ve got the blues... For this is the last time I’ll see the Enzan I like before Axess ruins him.

We start the episode in the arcade where Rockman and Blues are having a battle!

Not as epic as the one in the tournament finals, but a little more credible.

Enzan decides to end the battle by using the Program Advance, however, Netto and Rockman figured out a way to deflect the Beta Sword with just a Sword.

This surprises Enzan and Blues because, it’s the Beta Sword... Its not something a preschooler can do with little effort, right?. XP

The battle continues until Enzan receives an emergency call on his PET and tells Netto that they have to postponed their battle for another time.

I just like their reactions.

In his limo, Enzan is still surprised about Rockman using a Sword against the Beta Sword, showing us a flashback of what we just saw, literally, a minute ago.

“The probability of doing that is just as high as Gutsman using a Program Advance”

After the title card, we see that Enzan’s emergency called was just about his dad being impatient about getting a contract signed for a partnership with a new company.

I have no idea what that stick Blues showing is supposed to be, but we have reached the MADEA... I mean MAEDA company.

Enzan enters and sees a man working on something, he tries to talk to him about the contract but the man isn’t interested in working for another company like IPC.

You know, the thing. That thing, go get the thing.

Oh, that thing... What even is that thing?!

The man asks Enzan to do more chores, like shredding some documents, when a Higure like character comes in and yells at him demanding to know who he is.

The man tells him that Enzan is from IPC and the Higure guy, whose name I forgot, gets all creepy on him until the man tells Enzan to move on to his next chore, cleaning the toilet.

I don’t know what confuses me more, the fact that the guy has a pink apron the fits Enzan perfectly, or seeing that the toilet also has a sink.

After cleaning the toilet, Enzan returns to the man and his assistant who are working on a special program with the help of some standard Navis.

Don’t ask me what that machine is because I don’t know.

Apparently the Navis have to use Swords to cut the data rock into a perfect copy of the model the man wants. And I really mean perfect because once they’re done the man analyses it, finds a small imperfection, and that’s enough to tell the Navis to destroy it, ignoring his assistant telling him that kind of precision is almost impossible to achieve.

Like everything humanity does, it took way less time to destroy it than it took to make it.

This upsets the Higure clone because of the time they spent working on it. They begin to work on another data rock, but this time Enzan offers to give it a try in hopes to speed things up.

He plugs in Blues who scares the standard Navis and even more after he performs the Program Advance to give form to the data in a matter of seconds.

Unfortunately for Mr. Child prodigy the shape is not perfect either since the man shows him that it is just a tad smaller than the model.

He tells Enzan that the Program Advance, even though its a powerful move, it is useless without control and sometimes a simple sword is just right.

So after Blues’s fail, the Navis are not afraid of him anymore and invite him to work with them, and their interactions with him are kinda cute.

My new favorite trio.

Since this is an Enzan episode we cut to and back from commercials with two cube scenes with the chibi Blues.

What’s funny is that Blues says Shakin twice the second time and Netto’s voice points that out.

We see that Blues was left working with the Navis using regular swords while Enzan is out on an errand. Suddenly, the power goes out in the work station making the data rock disappear, but wouldn’t that affect the cyberworld too?

I guess they would just lose contact with the humans.

The man suddenly says that he forgot to pay the power bill and... calmly and shamelessly tells his assistant to go steal power from somewhere. 

Meanwhile, we see Netto at the Maha Ichiban talking about how he enjoyed his battle with Enzan and that he can’t wait to continue it.

They are just so adorable!

So anyway, the power goes out causing Mahajarama to give Count Elec third degree burns.

The Ex-WW soon discover that the Higure double is the culprit and they give chase to him, until he turns around a corner but goes back to kick a garbage can to stop them which was pretty funny.

Speaking of funny scenes, you can’t help but laugh with the subtitles’s sense of humor in this next one.

Even the subs are tired of having to translate Aki’s cheesy song. XD

So the Higure bootleg returns to the office just in time for some mafia looking guys from another company to arrive and attempt to destroy the man’s work for not wanting to join them. Luckily for him, Enzan returns just in time to save the day by throwing a chip at one of the thugs, karate chopping another one, and had apparently taken out all of the others outside off camera... Damn, you don’t mess with this kid. O.O

What is it with rich people and throwing collectible items a bad guys?

“That’s for making me waste a perfectly good battle chip!”

Anyway, Enzan scares off the mafia boss by telling him he is from IPC. While Enzan and the man watch the bad guys leave, the Higure copy makes a creepy face as he is doing something on the computer. Turns out he is a bad guy who steals part of the program data to sell it.

He easily runs away before Blues tells them that there are viruses destroying the original data. So Enzan sends chips to help Blues fight them.

He says, as he deletes a Metool.

Blues protects the data from the viruses and then suddenly does this.

It looks like Blues found an invisible hole that is bringing the viruses in, Enzan sends a Paladin Sword to destroy the hole and the real enemy appears.

Drillman, where have you been?! The season is almost over!

So Blues fights Drillman and...

Wow guys, you suck today. 

Not even the Beta Sword can beat him, and it’s practically unavoidable!

PRACTICALLY!

Enzan is running out of ideas until he exchanges looks with the man and understands that a single Sword is more than enough. So Blues uses a Sword and cuts Drillman in half!

I bet this was edited in the dub.

So the day is saved, but their celebration is interrupted by the Ex-WWW who caught the Higure knock off and demand something in return for stealing their electricity.

Since the assistant is the ”real” bad guy here, the man doesn’t take responsibility for telling him to steal power from them and offers a trade, the stolen data for the thief.

I initially though he was offering the data he stole, but nope.

“Please boy, I’m not stupid. Why would a famous company like IPC have a kid working for them if it wasn’t the president’s son?”

So the man finally accepts IPC’s partnership as thanks for Enzan helping him out and the episode ends with Blues and Rockman continuing their battle at the arcade while a news anchor informs everyone about the newest PET that will be released.

The Advance PET is going to be so revolutionary that it will practically hijack the flashbacks for this season by making everyone forget the Plug-in PETs and even rewrite history!

How is this even possible?!

My thoughts?

I like to think this is the last time I’ll see the Enzan I know and love before Axess makes him boring. I feel that this Enzan is more of an interesting character that I would like to know more about, but instead will become someone obsessed with his job and only follows orders. The Enzan in this episode, and in this season in general, has always been portrayed as Netto’s rival, someone who enjoys Net Battles and wont let anyone get in his way, just like back in episode 20 and 21. Sure, he takes his work at IPC seriously, but he was doing the jobs his father told him to do, he didn’t look like the type of person who would stay all day in an office doing paper work, he is a kid for crying out loud! Axess basically makes him an adult, he doesn’t feel like a kid anymore, to me, he was just a cool, kind of a snobby kid who respects his father and is proud of his family’s name, but he also enjoys Net Battles and eating at fancy restaurants by himself, and even hangs out with Netto when he has the chance (mostly to show off to him).

The episode introduces Drillman.EXE who had a bigger role in the game. He was a WWW Navi, it was not known if he had an operator, but somehow was related to Bubbleman a Navi that will debut in Axess. It’s a shame that Drillman’s character goes to waste here, but at least he returns for an episode in Rockman Stream... To fight Blues again.

Looks like Capcom was already working on Battle Network 4 when this came out since it announces the arrival of the Advanced PET that will take over the next season.

[wine-anon]

Is it okay if I ask fora JoJo x reader fic??? Because, like, I love him and there just aren’t enough fics about him and honestly he’s just so under appreciated???

a/n: Okay so this took me ages to write because it deleted itself and then I had to re-write it and then I didn’t like it so I wrote it again. Yikes, anyway, I had this really cool idea after seeing the new Pacific Rim movie, I genuinely hope you like it! It’s a bit different to what I usually write, so tell me if you like it. I really, really hope you like it!!!

The Kaiju broke through the breach when you were only seven. You watched in horror as those monsters from storybooks and movies became real. The world changed that day, nothing was ever the same. When the Jaeger program was announced two years later, you knew in that moment that you would be a pilot one day. That’s all you wanted, you had to survive until you were old enough to pilot your very own Jaeger, no matter what it took. 

In 2021, you were recruited by Stacker Pentecost into the PPD Cadet program. You were only sixteen at the time and drifting didn’t come easy, you couldn’t find the right co-pilot to drift with no matter how hard you tried. You found a temporary co-pilot that you could mostly drift with just before the UN began pulling funding from the program to build the coastal wall. 

By 2025, at only 20, you were one of very few Jaeger pilots left, you were transferred to the Hong Kong Shatterdome. Not many were left open and after your last fight against a Kaiju, you were left with no co-pilot. Word went around that there were tryouts for two of the most renowned Jaeger pilots in recent history, so you took a leap of faith and signed up.

It was the morning of the tryouts, you had been running somewhat late and managed to run into someone in the halls.

“Oh, I am so sorry, sir,” you panicked at the man in front of you, “I wasn’t looking where I was going. I’m running late.”

“It’s okay,” his accent was rich, he was from New York, you guessed, “I’m running late too.”

“Where are you headed, er?”

“JoJo,” he smiled at you, he was gorgeous.

“Right, where are you headed, JoJo?” you looked at your watch at cursed silently.

“The pilot tryouts? I’ve never been here before, I got turned around.”

“Great, that’s where I’m headed,” you grabbed his wrist and led him down the halls towards the dojo. 

You arrived but sadly lost him in the crowd of people watching Raleigh Becket fighting Mako Mori. You watched in amusement as she beat him easily but frowned when Pentecost said that they weren’t to drift under any circumstances.

“Right, now that’s done,” Pentecost’s voice broke you out of your thoughts, “we’re testing compatibility with the one and only, JoJo de la Guerra.”

Shit. It was him. The man from before. He was the one you were testing against. 

“(y/l/n)!” your head snapped to Pentecost, “it’s your Jaeger. You’re up first.”

Shit.

“So, you think we’re actually drift compatible?” 

“We’re about to find out, de la Guerra.”

“Oh please, just call me JoJo.”

“What ever you say, JoJo,” you smirked at him from the other side of your Jaeger, your baby, your pride and joy. 

Cobalt Glory. She was one of the two Mark-3 Jaegers left in the world, she was launched by the British in 2017 and given to you five years later. The same year you graduated from Cadet to Ranger.

“What happened to you last co-pilot?” JoJo asked, his voice coming through the headset in your helmet.

“You’ll see in a second, you’ll be in my head remember?” you pushed some of the holo-buttons and set up your drift sequence. JoJo following your lead, “when was the last time you drifted?”

“Three years ago, in the Philippines,” you looked at him from across the space, his demeanour had shifted to a sad one. Whatever he was thinking was going to be in his head any minute now.

“At least you still look good in the flight suit,” you attempted to cheer him up, a small chuckle came through your headset and sent a shiver up your spine, there was something about him.

“I think I look great in this new style suit,” he grinned at you as the techs began to talk to you both.

“This is just a test drift, you’re not moving from this position, is that clear?” Pentecost’s voice broke through your headset, his voice commanding.

“You always have such a way with words, sir,” you joked at him.

“Watch the tongue, (y/l/n),” he chuckled at you, he always had a soft spot for you and you knew it.

“Drift sequence is ready, sir,” JoJo spoke clearly to the techs, he looked to you, “ready to get into this head of mine?”

“Let’s give them a show,” you winked at him, he winked back and your heart raced faster.

“Initiating Neural Handshake,” the robotic voice spoke to you both. Within a second every thought and memory JoJo ever had was passing through your head and yours through his. You tried to calm yourself at the influx of information and bad memories. You almost hooked onto one bad memory but quickly stabilised. 

“Left hemisphere calibrated,” the voice broke through again.

“(y/l/n),” Pentecost called through the coms, “you’re stable but JoJo is way off. Bring him back.”

“Yes, sir,” you spoke firmly.

“It happens to all of us, but we got there in the end,” you reassured JoJo.

“I almost blew up the Shatterdome,” he sighed heavily, “it was too much.”

“Mako almost blew it up too. Don’t worry about it. The memory was too recent for you to get over it quickly,” you put a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at you, “we completed the neural handshake didn’t we?”

“I guess you’re right,” he looked into your eyes and your breath hitched, “ya’know I say some interesting things whilst I was in your head.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you panicked and got up from your seat on the floor. You quickly made your way down the hall.

“Oh come one, (y/n),” he called to you, “I know what you think about me.”

“Goodnight, de la Guerra!” you called back, your heart racing in your chest at the thought of him again.

You woke up to the Shatterdome alarm and your door being banged on. You pulled yourself from your bed and ran to open the door. JoJo stood on the other side his fist raised. That stupid smirk back on his face.

“You’ve got two minutes to be at Cobalt Glory’s hub.”

With that he grinned and walked off, leaving you stand in the doorway watching people run past you. 

“Two minutes,” you sighed to yourself. He could have at least told you why, that boy and his stupid face. It was so beautiful, fuck.

You found yourself back in Cobalt Glory, hooked into her central hub and looked to see JoJo doing the same. 

“So, someone going to tell me what we’re dealing with?” you called out to everyone who could hear you through the coms.

“We’ve got a double event,” Tendo’s voice broke through for the first time, “we lost Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon. Striker Eureka is powerless and we just sent out Gipsy Danger alone.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me this earlier!” you panicked at them all.

“Calm down, we’ve got this, we’re running flank for Gipsy okay?” JoJo’s calm voice caused your heart to race faster but calm down at the same time. You nodded at him and took a deep breath.

“You ready for this, JoJo?” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he looked at you, “are you ready?”

“Let’s do this,” you looked forward, “Tendo? Initiate neural handshake.”

“Neural handshake initiated.”

You were back in his head, this time his memories had you in them, they were focused on you. Your heart raced as the drift was completed successfully. There you both stood, the first fully successful drift between the two of you. 

“You okay, (y/n)?” you nodded at him, you couldn’t look at him, he was so gorgeous you’d get distracted, “stop thinking about me like that, you’ll make me blush.”

“Shut up, JoJo,” you moved in synch towards the drop zone, “we have a job to do.”

You were praised as heroes after the battle in Hong Kong. JoJo held your hand on the way back to your room and you swore that he was going to cause you to have a heart attack.

“I’ll see you in the morning at the meeting,” he kissed your forehead and left you leaning against his bedroom door.

“You’ll be the death of me, JoJo de la Guerra,” you sighed at his retreating figure.

“We’re doing what?” JoJo yelled across the room.

“Gipsy and Cobalt will be running point for Striker when we blow up the breach,” Pentecost informed the room calmly.

“But Herc is down,” Raleigh said, “you. You’re piloting her, aren’t you?”

“That’s our only option right now, does everyone understand?”

Multiple ‘yes sir’s’ echoed through the room. JoJo took your hand as he stormed out of the meeting room.

“Where are we going?” you spoke as he dragged you towards his room.

“We’re probably going to die tomorrow, not going to sugarcoat it,” he pulled you into the roo and closed the door, “I don’t want to die regretting never doing this.”

“Doing wh-,” you were out off by his lips crashing onto yours. You moaned at the feeling and wrapped your arms around his neck. You certainly wanted every part of this, especially considering the stakes of tomorrow.

“At the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other. Today there is not a man nor woman in here that shall stand alone. Not today. Today we face the monsters that are at our door and bring the fight to them! Today, we are canceling the apocalypse!”

The Shatterdome erupted into cheers at the end of Pentecost’s speech before it broke into a mad dash to launch the three Jaegers into the highest risk mission ever.

“Pilots to your Jaegers,” the robotic voice called out. You and JoJo made your way to Cobalt Glory’s main hub for the third time together.

“You ready for this?” he asked as you hooked into the system.

“No,” you spoke softly, “we might die this time.”

“Don’t think about that, doll,” he reassured you, “we can do this.”

“I hope you’re right, Jo,” you voice wavered.

“Initiating Neural Handshake,” the PON spoke to you both. 

The drift was easier this time, your connection to the man standing next to you was so strong that it took you mere seconds to be 100% connected.

“Cobalt Glory,” Tendo called to you, “you’re ready and have permission to go. Good luck.”

You moved across the ocean floor in the Jaeger, flanking left of Striker Eureka and the package, Gipsy Danger flanking right. Your ranks were broken when two category four Kaiju’s ripped through your formation.

Scunner bit at Cobalt’s arm and pulled you off to the side. You and JoJo slice at the Kaiju with your sword and punch it firmly in the face. It recoils and makes it’s way towards Striker and the package.

Yells are heard through your coms as a third Kaiju emerges from the breach, someone screams that it’s a category five, the first. A triple event. Your heart drops when you hear the yells from the Shatterdome.

You and JoJo make your way towards the break to help Gipsy with the other category four Kaiju. The two of you kill it within minutes but turn to see Striker being hounded by the other two.

In what felt like seconds, you hear the plan to detonate the package above the breach in an attempt to kill the two Kaiju.

In a moment, you’ve stabbed your sword into the ocean floor, tears racing down your cheeks as you watch Striker Eureka blow up itself, the pilots inside and the category four Kaiju attached to it. The water around you surges and creates a tidal wave. JoJo yells at you to brace yourself as the water crashes into the back of your Jaeger.

“What now?” Raleigh coms to your Jaeger.

“Um, we have to get through the breach and blow it up, that other Kaiju is still around here somewhere. We’ve sustained heavy internal system damage, what about you?”

“Same over here,” Mako calls, “look out!”You and JoJo turn in time to see Slattern coming towards you, you grip its head and throw it to the ground. It reels back up and launches itself at Cobalt again.

“The power core!” JoJo yells to you as your hold Slattern’s head in a death lock, “blast the head with the power core!”

“We’ll lose power!”“Just do it!” 

The two of you hold the Kaiju’s head and ultra-charge your power core. You release the blast straight into the Kaiju’s head, effectively killing it.

“Cobalt Glory!” Raleigh’s voice crackles through the coms once more, “how are you holding up?”“We’re dead weight, Gipsy,” JoJo replies, “Slattern is dead but we used the power core to kill it and we’re powerless.”

“Eject safely in your pods, we’ll take it from here,” Raleigh commands, “you’ve done well.”

“Will do, Gipsy,” JoJo speaks calmly, “good luck finishing the mission.”

“See. you on the other side, Cobalt.”

With that your communications are shut down, JoJo opens the escape pod override, you attempt to do the same.

“Shit,” you yell.

“What?” JoJo looks over at you concerned.

“My pod is damaged, I can’t use it,” you panic as your oxygen tank levels begin to decrease. 

“It’s okay, take a deep breath and disconnect, we’ll go in my pod together.”

You nod and do as he says. He grips you tighter than he ever could once you reach him and the two of you are ejected from Cobalt. Your heart drops at the fact that you have to leave her at the bottom of the Pacific.

You return to the Shatterdome as heroes once more, the four of you make your way through the crowds. Everyone watches as the clock is stopped for the last time. This was the end.

“I guess I should take you out on a date now,” JoJo smiled at you and pulled you into a deep kiss.

“I’d love that, de la Guerra.”

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | VanderwoodxOC Cerise - Tagged | Ch. 18 Proposed Cooking Lessons

***My apologies for last week's lack of post. My puppy was diagnosed with a dreadful disease which we are lucky he survived followed by myself getting a terrible cold. I hope this week's sweet fluffy chapter will help. There is a deleted scene chapter before this available to my patrons. It’s called ‘Preparations Apart,’ and is all about Vandy gettin that ring and there are shower selfies involved. ~Let’s Connect! FFC***

*Remember, this is a sequel to Vanderwood Backstory, and Cerise has a bio. You can support my writing on patreon and get access to my VIP Discord Server or other goodies like early chapter releases and hidden scenes.  Tagged Chapter Directory*

They had spent the last day apart, and boy did he feel it when he woke up. Vanderwood pulled away from the mass of pillows that he’d cuddled into because they smelled like her, grumbling softly as he hadn’t slept nearly as well without her. He’d gotten her ring yesterday, that and hurt himself again by exercising after their exchanged after-shower selfies had caused him a pants tightness problem. Jesus…by now she’d probably also gotten her pills, too, not that that would do him any good. Yet. Bloody Hell, what kind of a man was he that that was what he was focused on?

He sent her a good morning text, assuming she would still be sleeping. It took him a while to get up and make breakfast, opting for toast again and some juice to wash down pain pills. He felt exactly like he had yesterday now, so he really had set himself back a day. At least it wasn't horrendously painful. Vanderwood didn't have much time left before he was going to be asking the love of his life to marry him. It was all so fast, but he knew she was the one for him, and he knew that she felt the same way, even though he was still anxious and nervous. He snorted at himself, only because he’d gone from, ‘I’m going to ask her someday’ to, ‘Now.’

Vanderwood kept practicing the words, hoping they would come out right. As much as he had practiced, 'Will you go out with me,' he had found that, 'Will you marry me' sounded incredibly different. At least it had been good practice in learning more words? Vanderwood showered and got dressed, opting for his v-neck shirt and black shirt over the top rather than a t-shirt. He should look at least a little nice, right? They were going to stay together tonight, so he packed up a little bag and grabbed the ring box, placing it in his pocket with a deep sigh, trying to release all the nerves that were building in his gut. It was nearly time. Vanderwood sat on the edge of his bed as he watched the minutes tick by, sending her another text. `I'll see you soon, shortcake. I miss you.`

***

Cerise was woken up by the sound of her phone going off. Groggily, she unlocked it to check her messages. It had been from her boyfriend...He was going to come over soon. Cerise stretched and hopped out of bed, scattering a few pillows about as she did so. She padded over to her bathroom and discovered that she somehow looked like an absolute mess. Her hair was all over the place. "...Did I fight a fricken leopard in my sleep?" She mumbled to herself as she tried to tame her messy locks with a brush. When she was satisfied, she clipped off a section of her fringe to keep it out of her eyes and set off to find something to wear.

She opted for a pair of shorts instead of a skirt and a tank top with tennis shoes. Cerise threw a cute jacket over the top and didn't skip the stocking, because it was still winter, after all. Finally, she brushed her teeth and put on lotion before plopping down on her couch in the living room and turning on the television. Now she pulled out her phone to reply, a smile on her face. `Miss u 2. I'll b waiting <3`

***

His phone pinged, and by now he was tired of waiting around. Surely, she wouldn't mind if he came a little early? The anxiety was eating at him, and he felt like he needed to ask her now. Hell, he probably wouldn't make it through the front door at this rate. Vanderwood sent her a quick text before grabbing his things and tossing them in the car. `Can't wait. Coming over now.` The drive seemed even longer than before. It wasn't really that long, maybe 20 minutes, but eternity stretched out before him before he had finally parked and was at her door, taking a deep breath as he knocked, hand finding the little box in his pocket. This was happening, and it was happening right now.

***

Her phone pinged and buzzed again, causing her to grin. It was cute that he couldn't wait to see her; she felt the same way. Cerise was eager to see him again after spending a night apart. Judging by how her hair had been that morning, she’d probably tossed and turned all night. She decided not to text him back, since he was driving, and she didn't want him to be tempted to check his phone while on the road...Not that he would. He was so much smarter than that.

She didn't know how much time it had been before she heard a knock at her door, causing her to jump up and all but run to it. Cerise flung it open and threw her arms around him, forgetting that he was sore. "Oops!" She let go and laughed sheepishly, "I kinda forgot...I just missed you." Cerise tried for a hug again except a lot gentler that time. She just felt like she was brimming with so much affection and excitement just by him being there; she felt like she could burst.

Vanderwood grunted at the pain of her embrace, but it was swiftly followed with one much gentler. He wrapped an arm around her as he kept his other hand in his pocket. "I missed you, too...Cerise....I have to tell you something." He stepped away from her just a little, his hand finding her chin and holding it, so he could keep his chestnut brown eyes locked with her honey gold. Cerise was about to complain that it was really cold out there and that they should probably head inside if he wanted to tell her something, but the look in his eyes were so intense and captivating she couldn't find the words. All she could do was stare up at him, the cold making her breath visible in the air.

"I can't remember being so happy as I am with you. You've given me everything, and I can't help but want to do the same. You're ma moitié, my everything, the only woman I'll ever need." The words were coming so easily, flowing perfectly even as blush rose in his cheeks. "I need to ask you something...something really important." Here it came, he'd practiced over and over and now was the moment of truth.

The words that came out of his mouth made her blush, he was being so sweet this early. Did he really miss her that much? She nodded when he said he needed to ask her something important, but she got worried for a moment when he suddenly dropped to one knee and visibly winced. Marion was in that much pain? He should have stayed in bed. Cerise was about to interrupt him and tell him that he was in pain and needed to come inside to rest, that they could talk later, but his next question threw her off.

"Iras-tu sortir avec moi...No....wait..." No, no no, that wasn't right. A look of confusion washed over her face. He...was asking her to go out with him. For the third time now. Was this some weird British thing? Vanderwood bit his tongue as he tried to remember. He had royally screwed this up, beautiful. Think, you dunderhead. "Veux-tu m'épouser....Yes...veux-tu m'épouser?" God, he couldn't blame her if she said no and made him ask again later, because that really sucked. Vanderwood felt stupid on many levels, but he produced the little ring box anyway.

Before she could try to interrupt again, once she broke out of her confused daze, he had asked his apparently corrected question. Did he realize what he was asking her? Apparently, he did, because he also produced a ring box. So here he was, proposing to her in her apartment doorway. Tears began to brim in her eyes as she dropped down with him and threw her arms around him, hugging tightly and forgetting again about his soreness. This wasn't something that she had expected this early in their relationship or...at all, really. She would have been happy just being by his side. "Of course...yes. Yes, I'll marry you." It didn't matter to her that they'd only even known each other for a short while, Cerise already knew that she and him were meant to be together. Why prolong the inevitable?

He saw the tears first and when her arms wrapped around him just a little too tightly, he knew. Vanderwood knew she was saying yes before the words left her mouth. Even though he was a cheesy, rather blunt, damaged idiot, she still wanted to marry him. Vanderwood wrapped her up tighter in his arms, despite how much it was hurting his back and leg to sit there like this. Cerise was going to marry him, and he couldn't be happier. He shifted just a little to open the ring box for her and take out the ring to place it on her finger. "This was my errand yesterday...I'm so happy you liked it..." And he was, probably happier than he'd ever been.

He kissed her ring softly before nuzzling her nose, his hands on her cheeks, wiping away a few stray tears. "Je'taime, Cerise...You've made me the happiest man in the world already." Vanderwood really hadn't made it past her doorway after all. The relief and joy washed through him now; the joy he could see in her eyes, that was worth making a fool of himself on her doorstep, even though his leg was starting to cramp up.

So, that had been his errand...he did say that he thought she'd like it. Cerise absolutely loved it. The ring he had picked out was simple but completely beautiful. He really knew how to pick something out to compliment her. As much as she annoyed him and wasn't good at much of anything, this man had asked her to marry him. Her, out of all the people in the world. "I love you too, Marion." Cerise sniffled a bit before standing up, holding onto his hands to motion for him to follow. It was really cold outside, and she didn't want him to get sick on top of all the pain he was in.

Vanderwood tried not to wince too much as she pulled him along into the house. He really had cramped up, but with how happy she was, it was so incredibly worth it. Once they were inside and the door was closed, she was embracing him again; she didn't want to let go. Cerise was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that the man currently standing in front of her was going to be her husband and was now officially her fiancé. There was such an intense feeling of joy that she had never experienced before now, and she wanted to remember it for the rest of her life.

If Cerise had been taller, she would have just kissed him, but she wasn't going to ruin the moment by hopping around like some deranged bunny just to reach him. "Thank you...for choosing to stay with me. And for putting up with me." She nuzzled her face into his shirt, still holding him. "You make me happy~ I don't think there's even an emoji that can express what I'm feeling right now. "

His heart wouldn't stop fluttering, all thanks to her. "Cerise..." She just kept holding him, and he didn't want to stop holding her, although he did want to kiss her. Could he manage the pain to do that? Cerise was his fiancée now. It almost seemed surreal, but there it was. This woman, who for all intents and purposes should have run away from him, should have turned him away the moment they met, had agreed to become his wife.

Her comments had him smiling and pulling her closer. "I would choose you over anyone. And I'll ‘put up’ with you for the rest of my life." He gently stroked her hair, his heart warming further. Of course, she would want to use emojis to describe it. There was no resisting it now. To Cerise’s absolute delight, it seemed he was going to kiss her.

Vanderwood pulled away from her solely so his hand could cup the side of her face as he kissed her, deep and slow. He poured his love for her into that kiss, wanting her to feel just how much it meant to him that she cared for him, that she wanted to take care of him at all, the joy that she brought to his formerly bleak world. His Cerise, immature and irritating, but wonderful, strong, caring, open-minded; Vanderwood couldn't come up with enough praises, because nothing would ever be enough. His body was reacting to her now even past all of the excitement, so he pulled away, blush hot in his cheeks.

Just from that one kiss--their first as an engaged couple, he told her wordlessly how much she meant to him and how much he loved her. Cerise loved these intense moments where words weren't needed. She poured her own heart into her kiss, getting lost in the flood of their shared affection. It felt like he’d pulled away far too soon for her liking, but she could understand why...She was starting to get worked up, so she could only imagine how he felt. The blush on her cheeks matched his as she took his hand and led him to the couch. "Sit here while I make some warm tea for my future hubby~" Just saying it made her heart leap.

He was thankful to be sitting down, and now he was blushing even harder at being called her future hubby with such a sweet voice. He was a little cold; he realized that now. The winter air had sunken into him but not been felt past his excitement. Vanderwood watched her as she made the tea, taking in her appearance. She was wearing shorts and a thin top with only her stockings and jacket to really provide any true warmth to her. He bit his tongue looking at her. His future wife didn't know how to dress for the weather apparently...but she sure dressed in a way he liked. Vanderwood internally slapped himself, sinking into the couch instead.

As she made her way to the kitchen, she examined the ring he’d gotten her. It was real. He had really asked her to marry him. That cheesy vanderjerk. The blush was still taking up residence on her face as she brewed a cup of tea. She added only a little ginger to some green tea with lemon and a small bit of honey. While she was at it, she made herself a cup, too, sans the ginger and with a lot more honey. When she was done, she carefully brought his cup to him with a smile. "Here~"

Her sing-song tones would be the death of him. "Thank you...future wife." Vanderwood reached for her, gently tapping her lips with his pointer finger. "I feel like I don't tell you enough just how beautiful you are." Attack of the cheesiness. She really was, though, and the outfit only made her look even better. He shifted to indicate he wanted her to snuggle up to him, not worrying about soreness, just wanting her close to him. After their night apart, he didn't want to be away from her at all.

Cerise felt like she was on cloud nine, and nothing could bring her down. Him calling her his future wife made her feel like she was falling in the best way. The color dominating her face was redder than her namesake. The word 'wife' felt like it couldn't apply to her quite yet--she was only twenty. People got married that young, right? How old was he, even? She figured he couldn't be that much older than her, even if he did act like such a stick in the mud sometimes. Cerise couldn't help but giggle a little. He was being so very cheesy today...Though he had every right to be, especially if he was as elated as she was.

"Oh~?" Cerise took him up on his offer, snuggling up to him closely. "If you think I'm so beautiful, maybe we should start going out or something." She teased him and carefully reached over him to where she’d put her own cup of tea on the side table. Vanderwood wrapped an arm around her as she snuggled into him. Her tease had him coughing softly in embarrassment. "Yeah, I think I really would like to go out with you."  He was about to say something to her about how much he liked her outfit, his hand at her hip so he could reach out and touch the soft fabric of her top. Vanderwood started absentmindedly playing with it, but then she completely broke his train of thought. "You know what, though?" Cerise took a sip of her tea and looked up at him, grinning. "I still think you look better in a skirt than I do~"

Fucking Seven. "I..." Vanderwood felt his eyebrow twitch just a little in irritation at the redhead. Someday, somehow, he would get that little shit back for showing that picture of him in a maid’s outfit by embarrassing the kid. If that were even possible. "I have to disagree with you." He bit his tongue before having some of the tea she'd made for him. There was a bit of ginger in it, but it wasn't nasty like the last time, and he would have been grateful for it even if it was. "Did you want to help me with lunch after we finish our tea, fiancée?" It felt ridiculously silly to keep repeating that she was in fact going to be his future wife, but it also gave him that warm fuzzy feeling he was coming to enjoy so much.

"Oh, but I think you're mistaken, dear Marion~" Cerise was definitely going to have to ask the red-headed man for any copies of that picture that he might have. She was sure that Vanderwood would protest as soon as he found out, but she'd find some way to convince him to let her keep it. He had repeated the word again; he was definitely as excited and giddy as she currently was. "I would love to help you, but I can't believe I get to have such an attractive teacher. Good thing I'm the only student, huh?" She took another sip of her tea. "Can't have the others getting all jealous that I'm marrying the teacher." Cerise glanced at her ring again, unable to get over how pretty it was or how well it had fit on her finger. How did he even know her size? She didn't even know her size.

Vanderwood snorted softly. "I'm more worried about me getting jealous if someone else were teaching you." That was most certainly true. It was a new thing for him, but he was definitely more jealous than the average person, and he had a feeling that his jealousy could be lethal in the right situation. Cereise nodded, talking into her cup of tea. "Would suck to be that person, huh?" She had already seen small glimpses of his jealousy, and there was no doubt he'd be quite a force under the right (or wrong) circumstances.

His eyes fell to her ring. It suited her so perfectly, and that just made him smile all the more, not only because she seemed to love it, but also because he felt damn proud of himself for picking something that matched her so well. "Does the ring fit okay? I made an educated guess." His fingers had continued absentmindedly playing with her shirt as he drank his tea, by chance slipping just under the fabric to brush against her scar.

"It fits perfectly, actually. I was surprised, it was a really lucky guess." They both sat there in silence for a little while just drinking their tea and enjoying each other's company after their time apart. While cuddled up to him, she could hear him breathe...it was such a comforting sound along with his steady heartbeat. She felt his fingers brush over her scar once more. Did he feel guilty?

Cerise tried not to think about that day, the words he had said. He didn't mean them, yet they still came out of his mouth. She shook her head and pushed those thoughts away. Of course, he didn't mean them, it probably hurt him to say them as much as it hurt her to hear them. Marion wouldn't have asked her to spend the rest of her life with him if he didn't want her around, if he didn't care for her--didn't love her.

Vanderwood had been tracing her scar for some time now, but then his fingers slipped down over the much smoother skin of her hip. He moved his hand, placing it up on the couch. Even just that one small touch to her skin had made him react to her. It had been too long and too stressful since the last time he'd had sex, clearly. He bit his tongue before taking a big swallow of tea, trying to hide just how red his face was.

When his hand moved from her scar to her hip, she began to automatically respond with a blush. Just as quickly as he had done it, he’d pulled his hand away. She looked up at him with a questioning expression, finding his face was totally red. Cerise was happy that he was doing so well, that he had so much better impulse control now. If he hadn't been so sore, she might have tried at teasing him just a little. Instead, she opted to just let him have his moment, pretending she hadn't noticed how flustered he was...which in turn made her more flustered.

He placed his tea to the side. Why was it that he already wanted to put his hand on her again, wanted the contact? Addiction based or just because he loved her? Really, he was doing much better than he thought he would ever be able to at controlling himself, although he still worried. She deserved the best of this world, and he only hoped he could make that happen...only hoped he would be able to keep her from getting hurt in his presence any further than the times she already had.

Just a day before after her brush with painkillers he'd said...some things. In the moment he'd meant them, and it was a fear for him that he would ruin her life, but...Vanderwood looked down at her. He would keep that from happening, and she was willing to risk everything to be with him, just like he was to be with her. She had that right just as much as he did.

Cerise kept her head down and focused on her tea. The silence was starting to be a little uncomfortable for her.  "Marion...I never really asked you. How old are you? I guess it's kinda silly asking that now considering..." Cerise found the hand that he rested on the couch and began to play with his fingers. "I'm twenty...but I'm sure you already know that. Being a super-secret agent and all.”

Her question pulled him out of his thoughts. "Oh...well..." That's right, he'd never told her. "Yeah...I've known since the day after I brought you to the first hotel. Seven sent me a file...but I could only read the first sentence. Didn't feel right to read the rest." She probably had some idea of how old he was already, so it wouldn't be a huge shock right? "I'm 28. I'll be 29 soon."

Okay, so he was eight years older than her, that wasn't bad. At the mention of the word 'soon' her eyes lit up. "Soon? When is your birthday?" Cerise loved celebrating things. Holidays and birthdays made her so excited, but the birthday of her fiancé? Sign her right the Hell up! She was totally going to learn how to cook by then, so she could surprise him with something she made that wasn't terrible and burned. By now, she was pretty much hovering right next to his face, eyes sparkling with excitement.

Holy shit, why was she so excited? He leaned away just a little, furrowing his brows at her. It was just a birthday. Hell, he'd never even done anything for his birthday. "It's...December 23rd. Just about a month from now...but I'd rather not dwell on it." Vanderwood couldn't even remember people saying happy birthday to him. No wait, he could. Caleb. Caleb was the only one who remembered. Vanderwood wrapped his arms around Cerise, pulling her into his lap tightly and burying his face in her hair. His heart had felt like it was being suddenly crushed, her presence in his arms easing it somewhat.

She didn't even have a chance to ask him why he seemed so upset before he was pulling her into his lap. The atmosphere felt sort of…gloomy all the sudden...Had something happened on his birthday? Did he just not like celebrating it? If it was bad memories he had...she wanted to do her best to replace them with good ones. He was twenty-eight...and probably hadn't celebrated his birthday in a while. Cerise had a lot of work to do if she wanted him to look back fondly on it, but now she figured they had their entire lives ahead of them to make that happen. He had buried his face into her hair, probably not wanting to talk right now, so she just nuzzled into him, letting him enjoy the silence as he held her there.

The silence and just her warmth, it was comforting. It was exactly what he needed. After a few minutes, he felt like he could talk again. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled into her hair before he released her slowly. "That was a little sudden...Just...unpleasant thoughts." Vanderwood gave her an apologetic smile and a soft kiss to her forehead. "You do whatever you want for my birthday...but I can't promise you I'll be in a good mood."

Cerise shook her head and gave him an understanding smile. "Don’t worry, you know? We're gonna make happy memories." God help him if she forgot. Vanderwood internally winced at the idea, but Cerise wouldn't forget...judging from how excited she had been...she wouldn't forget. His hand found the side of her face, cupping her cheek as he had a tendency to do before he gave her a kiss, nice and slow, pulling away to kiss her nose. "Now...is my beautiful fiancée ready for her first lesson? I'm a little hungry."

He didn't really feel like talking about it right now, as much as he had promised her his honesty...it could wait. Those childhood memories were more painful than the stories of his scars and were overshadowed by Caleb's death in ways that made him feel like he couldn't breathe past the pain in his chest. It was strange; usually he'd never think about those memories, they were just locked up behind a wall of pain, but this memory, as painful as it was, it also felt good. His brother had loved him. Vanderwood bit his tongue to keep from turning into a mess again.

She didn't think even in a million years she would get tired of his kisses. Each one never felt like the last, but all of them were enough to always take her breath away. "I'm so ready." She hopped up off the couch and towards her kitchen at an incredible speed. Not only was she really hungry, but she was really eager to learn from him. Cerise turned around and motioned for him to follow. "Come on, slow poke! At this rate we'll be celebrating my birthday before you get your butt over here."

"Alright, I'm coming." He snorted softly at her enthusiasm, that and her birthday was almost a full year away, and he couldn't possibly be that slow, even injured. Vanderwood couldn't help but smile like an idiot as he looked at her, thinking about just how much she meant to him. "Let me go get the groceries. Wash your hands while I'm gone...And maybe find me a hair-tie?" Cerise teasingly saluted him and found him the hair-tie he had asked for before washing her hands. They were going to be cooking, so she made sure to wash them extra well.

He had left the groceries in the car in his excitement to propose, so now he went to get them before entering her house again and placing them on an open space of counter. "Alright...so we're making omelets with some vegetables, not too difficult and pretty healthy." Cerise was drying off her hands when he reappeared back in the house with the groceries, nodding as he spoke. Omelets sounded pretty easy, and vegetables weren't that scary either. She could totally impress him with how quickly she could pick this up. Eggs and vegetables were nothing. "That sounds delicious! I can't wait~" Cerise handed him his hair-tie. "So, what's first, Teach'?"

"I'm probably going to start by teaching you how to wash and cut the vegetables while I whisk up and cook the eggs." Vanderwood chuckled at her enthusiasm. Cerise was a marvel to him sometimes. He put his hair up before looking her over. She had a Hell of a lot more hair than he did. Considering the mess she'd made the last time she cooked, it was probably better for her to have her hair up, too. "But...I think you should put your hair up first, too."

He was not risking her lighting that on fire. Vanderwood loved her hair, more than he really cared to admit. "Oh, my hair too?" Cerise nodded and disappeared out of the kitchen and into her bedroom before returning with a thicker hair scrunchie and handing it to him. "You do it~" She didn't give him a chance to answer before she turned around, shaking her hair out with her hands for a moment.

A light blush appeared on his face. He loved messing with her hair, really, so putting it up, as dumb as it sounded, it was a little on the intimate side, at least for him. "Alright then." Such a simple task shouldn't really make your chest feel warm and fuzzy should it? Vanderwood took the hair scrunchie and put it on his wrist as he gathered her hair up carefully before sliding the scrunchie from his wrist to around her hair, making sure to get it tight enough that it would stay but not so it would hurt her head.

He gave her a quick kiss to the top of her head then moved to grab some carrots and broccoli from his grocery bag, handing them to her. "Alright...so, first we get them out of the bags. Then we wash them off. The carrots will need peeling, but the broccoli just needs a good wash." Vanderwood washed his hands quickly, leaving the water running to wash the veggies. "So...let's wash the broccoli first, since that doesn't need peeling."

Cerise bounced in place excitedly as he talked before taking the broccoli from him. “You got it~” Easy stuff; she was practically a broccoli-washing pro! Cerise hummed excitedly to herself before turning the broccoli over. He watched her, shaking his head a little. Lord, she was in adorable form. At least he could trust her to wash broccoli, right? That wasn't so hard.

Vanderwood had gone to open the bag of carrots, so they could wash those as soon as she got the broccoli cut up, and then his thoughts were violently interrupted when he was splashed with water. She had managed to somehow make the stalk fling water at the both of them, getting in her eyes. "Sorry!" Cerise apologized and rubbed her eyes. She didn't know broccoli could be so...rubber-bandy and flingy. He looked over at her to see that, yup, somehow she had managed to mess up washing, but at least the broccoli was clean? He carefully took the broccoli from her and placed it on a cutting board, trying not to be bothered by the fact that there was a wet spot on his back. "That's alright." She really was rather clumsy.

Did he trust her with a knife? Vanderwood cut the stalk of the broccoli off himself before motioning for her to stand in front of him, demonstrating cutting the broccoli apart from the little cluster. He hadn't expected her proximity to be a problem for him, but she was so close, and he needed to get away before problems arose, so to speak. Vanderwood did just that, shifting away from her directly after showing her how to cut the pieces apart. "So...just cut them away from the bigger portion while I wash the carrots." She could get that, right?

"Yessir!" She answered with another salute, trying to ignore how close he had been to her. Cerise had cut things before. That shouldn't be hard...At least she couldn't get splashed. Except with blood once you manage to cut your finger off. Cerise froze. Whoa, what a terrible thought. She shook her head; she wouldn't be cutting any appendages off today. Carefully, she did as he’d instructed and managed to successfully cut the florets away from the stalks without much of an issue. How in the world could she do that but not wash the goddamn thing correctly?

Vanderwood had started on washing the carrots, snorting at her salute. Thankfully, cooking was a good mind clearer, but he kept glancing at her to make sure she wasn't cutting herself. Her voice got his attention. "I think I did this right." As he looked over, his eyes widened. "Yeah, you did great. And no blood." That was supposed to be an internal thought, but now it was out. "Um...I wasn't expecting any." He resisted the urge to rub the back of his neck, because then he'd just have to wash his hands again. "So...um...put that in a pot, and let's wash and peel some carrots."

Cerise couldn’t help but feel a little flush in her cheeks as he, apparently accidentally, pointed out the obvious. "It's okay...I'm actually surprised too." She confessed with a nervous laugh. That probably wasn't reassuring at all, but there it was. Cerise deposited the broccoli into the designated pot. "Okay...carrots." He seemed to be busy with washing them...which was fair considering how she had treated the broccoli, so she could just start on the peeling.

She grabbed the peeler and a carrot. He hadn't really shown her how to do it, but it couldn't be any harder than chopping broccoli. Vanderwood was surprised to see her grabbing the peeler already, apparently wanting him to wash the carrots while she peeled. Did she need to be shown how? Probably not…Holding the carrot, Cerise applied pressure with the peeler and peeled the top skin off. Well...it was more like half the carrot...which as she applied pressure to get the chunk of carrot off, suddenly shot across the room. Cerise just stared blankly and she watched the orange torpedo hit the wall and then the floor. Why? Why was she so bad at this?

He had been watching what she was doing, a little confused by how she was choosing to hold the carrot, but he wasn’t expecting the orange missile situation. Vanderwood just kind of stared at the carrot on the floor for a minute. "Um...let me help you with that." He tossed the carrot, grabbing another, a little wary as he took her hands from behind her again. His head bent to lightly press a kiss to the spot just behind her ear, an easy task with her hair up, before he bit his tongue and returned to the task at hand.

No time for nonsense...Vanderwood took the carrot and placed it in her hand, showing her how to properly hold the damn thing, because apparently that was too difficult for her clumsiness, God, she was cute...and slightly terrifying. Cerise cooking could probably be weaponized. Vanderwood had to suppress a snort as well as control the little side of fear that gripped at him as he envisioned her shooting carrots at someone. He shook his head before he helped her peel a few lines off the carrot. "It can peel both ways, but I think you should peel in the direction away from your body...To be safe." His concern for her safety was outweighing his concern for how close he was pressed to her like this.

For a moment, he seemed to be thinking, maybe in more reverent silence over what had happened to that poor carrot. Cerise was still having her own little moment of silence over that, quite frankly. It was becoming apparent to even herself just how bad at this she was. His comment about peeling away from herself for her own safety made her scrunch up her nose for a second before her face relaxed. "You know...that's fair." She peeled the carrot like he had shown her away from herself, and once she had started, she found it rather easy, as long as she held it correctly.

He stepped away to start on the eggs, but Vanderwood had found himself mostly watching her rather than dealing with the eggs out of worry. After the first carrot, it looked like she was doing okay. She managed not to maim any more defenseless carrots and successfully peeled the rest he had washed as he cracked the eggs into a pot for stirring together.

Cerise figured that cutting them was next as she finished, placing the peeler aside along with the final carrot. "Done with this part~" She sang out and went to go and grab her knife. Unfortunately, she had completely forgotten that she might not have peeled them over the trash can, causing her to slip on the orangey peels. The kitchen was not her friend. Cooking was not her friend. The Gods above obviously hated her.

He had snorted softly at her sing-song tone, having moved to place the eggs on the counter, and then he noticed her slipping. Vanderwood's heart was in his throat as he reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her into his arms successfully before she could hit the ground. Cerise had closed her eyes in preparation of hitting the floor, but it never came. She opened one eye to see that he had grabbed her before she could. It was a good thing she hadn't managed to grab for the knife; that would have been a disaster. Vanderwood was about ready to curl up in a ball in the corner. The mess too…the carrot peels on the floor he hadn’t noticed out of concern for making sure she didn’t launch the carrots about the room.

Obviously, she simply wasn't meant to cook. It was fate, clearly. Life had prepared him to be the housewife for her, because his future wife sure as Hell wasn't one. He realized he was holding her rather tightly and let go slowly. "Are you alright?" When he finally let go, Cerise looked down to see what it was that made her slip. Yep. That figured. She knew she should have peeled the orange traitors over the trash can. Cerise looked back at him and blinked. "Yeah, I'm fine..."

Despite her saying so, he still felt the need to check her over, apparently. His hands went to her shoulders, moving down her arms and then to her waist and over her legs as he searched for any sign of injury, his face slowly turning redder. It was sweet how much he worried over her, even for super simple things. God, she was so clumsy...Maybe cooking would never be her thing. In theory, it seemed so simple, but she just was not able to pick it up. Maybe in time...who knew?

When he was done checking her over, she noticed that his face was at a new level of red. The touches were innocent, and she thought nothing of them, but the way his face was flushing only made hers match it, and she couldn't help but to look down at her feet, letting her hair obscure her face again. Marion moved to press a soft kiss to her forehead, which didn’t make it easier. "I think you've learned enough for one day, shortcake...Please go sit down before I have a heart attack..."

Cerise wanted to argue with him, tell him that she wanted to stay in the kitchen and learn more, but he did have a point. If she stayed in there today, she was either going to kill herself or kill him in some ridiculous freak kitchen accident. She didn't even blame him for shooing her away. Cerise stalked over to the couch and plopped down with a bounce, turning her head so she could watch him in the kitchen. It made her feel bad that she sucked at cooking so much that he basically had to do everything. Maybe she was just good at other things and hadn't realized it? Cerise let out a sigh and pulled her phone out, stopping to glance at her ring. If she was going to be someone's wife...his wife--shouldn't she be better at these things? Some woman she was...but she didn't think he was the type of person at all to ask her unless he was absolutely sure that she was what he wanted. She had time to learn things.

A smile played on her face as she opened the camera and took a selfie of herself with her ring in view, making sure to angle it to where Vanderwood could be seen cooking in the background. Cerise had her doubts about being a good wife, but she wasn't going to let that dampen her excitement. She figured she must have added like fifty tags to that photo and surprisingly opted not to put stickers all over it. It was a great picture how it was and didn't need any decorations--Cerise's ring was decoration enough.

As expected, as soon as she uploaded the picture, her phone began to blow up with messages and notifications. She couldn't help but giggle and read through the well wishes and congratulations. There were a few salty people, but she tended to ignore them. They were going to have a beautiful relationship, haters or no.

Vanderwood really wasn't sure he could take more kitchen mishaps, focusing on taking care of the mess that was making his skin crawl before he could start cooking again. Occasionally, he peeked at her from his periphery. It looked like she was on her social media. A little smile crossed his face. How had he, a guy who had tried all his adult life to avoid having any online presence whatsoever, fallen in love with a woman who was virtually famous?

It struck him as incredibly ironic. On top of that, it was a bit dangerous, but...Cerise was the love of his life, and he wasn't about to let any more danger come to her. It might show up at the doorstep, but he would take care of it. Vanderwood let the veggies cook while he worked on the omelets, adding a little cheese, which hopefully she liked. "Lunch is almost ready." He looked at her there on the couch. That woman, that perfect little obstinate woman, was going to be his wife.

Cerise perked her head up at his announcement. No doubt if she had stayed in there, it would have taken ten times as long. This incredibly domestic setting made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. There were no issues to worry about, no secret threats to speak of. Cerise hopped back up off of the couch and made her way back to the kitchen, coming up behind him to wrap her arms around his torso as he’d turned around. It could have waited, sure, but she just really felt she needed to hug him right then.

Vanderwood was portioning the veggies onto the plates with the omelets when she wrapped her arms around him from behind. He hadn't been expecting that at all, but his heart flipped in his chest, and his hands found hers as he hung his head and closed his eyes. It was such a simple little thing, just a hug, but he felt so happy, a moment of peace and quiet with his soulmate. His finger stroked lightly over her ring, the ring that said she was his wife to be. She felt him relax into her arms and they were able to share a quiet little moment. It was nice to just be near him, especially when they had recently spent so much time apart. Cerise decided she hated being apart from him and hoped that there was never another situation that he had to be away for so long, because his absence was definitely noticed.

How long did they stand there like that? It felt never ending, and maybe that's just what it was like to be truly happy. Vanderwood gently moved her hands away to grab her plate and turn to hand it to her. "I love you, shortcake...I'm so glad you said yes." He felt blush in his cheeks again, but that was just how today was going to be, it seemed. It was the best day of his life so far. "I love you, too." A light blush dusted her cheeks. Marion sounded so soft and sincere, and it made her heart flutter. "I'm glad you asked me. " Cerise shot him a smile before she was headed back to the couch with her omelet, waiting to start on it until he joined her. Not only had she gotten the cooking lesson she was promised today, but she’d gotten a proposal for something much better.

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Tagged Chapter Directory

[autumn-in-phandom]

Dan and Phil play Dream Daddy

MEET DILDDY LESTOWELL

I loved this video! I was dying of laughter in the first fifteen minutes and just had to make timestamps. Very very long under the cut.

0:00 Phil is wearing his rainbow zebra shirt! Being his best self.

0:03 Wow was that second “daddies” necessary Phil? (Yes, it was.)

0:42 “Cause you know Dan and Phil they like to have the raw naked-”- Dan

0:45 “Immersion”- Phil

0:46 “They just like to go in-”- Dan

0:47 “Are you saying we’re going to have to be blurring some things-”- Phil

0:48 “Bare. What?”- Dan (what?)

0:58 “Give me that Daddiest graphics.”- Phil

1:00 “Oh it’s like Yuri on Ice.”- Dan

1:10 Phil will be a long haired vampire in ten years. Yes, something to look forward to.

1:25 “Phil, don’t do your chin like that, you’re fine.”- Dan (damn fine)

2:07 “Is that your best dad voice?”- Dan

2:14 “Do you wanna be Dad?”- Phil (sass)

2:15 “Phil, everyone wants you to be Dad.”- Dan (the honest truth)

2:34 “Moving house? Oh my god!”- Dan (omg!)

2:45 “Coordinating the headband with the nails.”- Dan (noticing the important stuff)

2:46 “Definitely.”- Phil

2:53 Phil’s yawn, wtf was that? Sounds like a dog.

2:55 “Are you American now?”- Dan

2:56 “I don’t knowww.”- Phil (poor frustrated Phil)

3:03 “Build that Dad!”- in sync

3:30 “Dilddy! No?”- Phil (Dan’s face)

3:36 “Yeah sure. Let’s not think about that anymore Phil.”- Dan

4:04 “Thor. We just made Thor by accident.”- Phil (always with the Thor)

4:07 “Ah the bun hair.”- Dan

4:08 “Man bun.”- Phil

4:09 “That’s very like modern dad aesthetic.”- Dan

4:12 “That’s quite Dil-y”- Phil

4:13 “That’s the most Dil-esque, I think.”- Dan

4:19 “Heart eyes.”- Phil

4:20 “SENPAI!!!”- Dan

4:30 “Can you just have heart eyes the entire game?”- Dan (are you asking for permission Dan?)

4:31 “The whole time.”- Phil

4:32 “Is that just going to ruin the game?”- Phil (no.)

4:33 “Would that be slightly distracting?”- Dan (well, yes.)

4:58 “Noman Rose.”- Phil (has a bit of a Roman nose)

5:10 They love the lips, sassy mouths

5:39 “He banged it on some kind of exercise equipment.”- Phil

5:40 “Wrestling another dad for territory.”- Dan (sure)

5:45 “Yes!”- Phil is excited by facial hair options (and I’m excited for him)

5:50 “More people should have black hair and blonde beards.”- justifying your ginger eyebrows Phil?

5:51 Dan has to think a second before agreeing

5:55 Hunger Games aesthetic, okay.

6:00 “I asked you yesterday if you’d grow a full beard. If you wanted to. Like what’s your answer to that question?”- Phil (I’m going to cry.)

6:04 “What in like twenty years?”- Dan

6:05 “Yeah.”- Phil

6:05 “Yeah, sure. I’ll give it a crack.”- Dan

6:06 “Do you think you’ll ever have a full beard?”- Phil

6:09 “Ever?”- D

6:10 “Ever.”- P

6:10 “Yeah, maybe in like ten years when I finish going through puberty.”- Dan

6:13 “I kinda wanna try.”- Phil wants to try a beard, people! And it might be a different color than his fringe. I see.

6:15 “This is the best part!”- Phil on clothing

6:19 “Can’t you just like have nothing?”- Phil (for underroos apparently)

6:22 “Captain America! Yes!”- Phil (nice six pointed star)

6:25 “Egg nips. I mean totally, I can see that.”- Dan

6:31 Phil saying “Daddy Dil” kills me

6:35 “Cats! With a suit jacket.”- Phil (we have a winner)

6:43 I agree with Dan about that pattern, it reminds me of party centers, roller rinks and tour busses. Phil with the Saved by the Bell reference.

7:00 “Goals. As the kids would say.”- Dan

7:26 “Be that dad. The dad you always dreamed to be.”- Dan

7:28 “Now do we get to date some dads?”- Phil Lester asking the important questions.

7:58 Phil’s second child syndrome

8:13 “No mum’s must exist in this universe!”- Dan (okay Dan, interesting justification)

8:35 “I was just given a bin bag and some sticky stars to say I was a ‘wizard’. Yeah.”- Phil (dang that’s cheap, Lesters)

8:43 “Princess Dragon!”- in sync

8:45 Dan would watch a scaley fairytale movie

9:05 “I wish I had a horse phase.”- Dan (I’m glad I did)

9:09 “Or a Horse Prince phase.”- Phil (he’s not over it)

9:11 “Oh we all had that.”- Dan

9:20 “Why aren’t we going to McFridayz?”- Phil

9:50 Adoption +1

10:00 Kangaroo existential crisis

10:19 “Hit me.”- Dan

10:25 “He knows what to do.”- Dan (getting really into it)

10:30 “Yeah. Then what?”- squeaky over dramatic Dan

10:35 “And then he ran away with a kangaroo.”- Phil (there are two types of people in this world)

10:44 “Just look him up on Facebook! Or did he die?”- Phil

11:02 “The old house!”- fake crying Dan

11:05 Hawaiian backstories, driving distraction

11:15 Hydration: “I can get behind this.”- Dan

11:22 Phil, waving your hands in the air where Dan sneezes is not going to keep the germs away. Maybe if you both actually covered.

11:33 Everyone does bicep curls in this Daddy themed universe

12:12 Dil Howlter house without the owl slide is no Dil Howlter house at all.

12:44 “Dogs!”- Phil

12:48 “CLICK!”- Dan

12:55 Dog to person ratio should be the highest thing on the agenda for any neighborhood

13:11 “Side quest!”- Dan

13:11 “Dog quest!”- Phil

13:12 “Dog time! I’m here for some cute drawn dogs.”- Dan

13:16 Woofing song to the tune of the Katamari theme!

13:27 “What is this idyllic pastel utopia that they’re living in right now? Honestly.”- Dan

13:30 “Where’s the diseased pigeons?”- Phil (London summarized by Phil)

13:47 “DOGS! (toddlers) NOT INTERESTED! (dogs) INTERESTED!”- Dan

13:52 Panting puppies D&P

14:05 “A corgi! Of all the dogs!”- Phil (this is the only reason Phil agreed to play this game)

14:14 “Delet this doggo.”- Dan

14:20 Second “Bork!”

14:26 “Oh god this is the cutest dog. Can we just do dog adoption simulator instead?”- Phil (I’m sure you could)

14:30 “Pet the dog!”- Phil

14:58 “Woah! Irish father of my children!”- Dan

15:13 Gruff and slightly offensive leprechaun

15:18 Puppy role play ;)

15:25 Phil saw the aubergines come out.

15:35 Phil apologizes for “Dilddy”

16:05 Dan loves the freckle representation.

16:22 “Oh my god it’s a Dad Child Proud Of Brag Off”- Dan (very Undertale)

17:33 “Bam. Amazing.”- Dan, “Slapped.”- Phil

19:55 “I’m torn though, cause he has a corgi.”- Phil

19:57 “He has a corgi, but-”- Dan

19:58 “Can we not just date him to hang out with the corgi?”- Phil

20:01 “Can we date him, adopt the corgi and then break up with him?”- Dan

20:04 “Yes!”- Phil (a good plan)

20:33 “I mean let’s just get our own corgi. Let’s adopt a corgi.”- Dan (a better plan)

21:07 Dan would read horse fan-fiction.

21:36 Chocolate coffee beans btw

22:11 “*Sigh* Why would people sit next to you, they always do that though don’t they?”- Dan

22:26 "Am I being helpful or am I cluttering up everyone’s life?“- Dan

22:44 "Oh my god!”- Dan

22:45 “Another Dad.”- Phil

22:46 “With the ta- the glasses, the hair, the piercing.”- Dan (tattoos)

22:49 “Good layering. On the outfit.”- Phil

22:51 “Definitely.”- Dan

23:00 Dan doesn’t like the “too cool” vibe.

23:13 Husky voice ;)

23:38 Dan would not be able to hold a conversation with this guy in real life. Probably because he sounds too much like himself.

23:48 Iced Tegan and Sara (yay!)

23:02 Phil got the pun!

24:49 Couches (Starbucks sofa)

24:50 “Okay Amanda, wow. Life isn’t all about listening to cool music. It’s about enjoying the music that you like.”- Dan

25:00 Good lumbar support is important. It’s comfier than their couch. *giggles*

25:48 “Okay I’m about this.”- Dan (feeding kink)

25:50 “He’s got food!”- Phil

25:53 “Yes. Tick that box.”- Phil

27:08 Phil likes Mat’s awkwardness

27:10 Dan is on the fence: “I don’t know how to feel. Runs a coffee shop, bit of a hipster, is socially awkward, gives you banana bread. I think it’s looking mostly good.”

27:27 “Ohhhh.”- in sync (using 'baby’ in flirting)

28:00 “Wow. Are we adults? Cause we just moved recently.”- Yes Dan, you are adults.

28:08 “Do I smell bad?”- Phil

28:09 “Noo.”- Dan with a quick sniff, barely leaning in, he clearly already knew the answer.

28:16 They agree that the dark and mysterious stranger is the most intriguing part of the story. Stupid look at camera.

28:30 Acknowledging that they still have boxes

28:42 Pink duck, succulents and XBox 360 “Nice”- Phil

28:56 “Get the hell out of my life!”- Dan

29:00 “He’s too perfect already.”- Phil

29:08 “Robot. Robot. Robot.”- Phil

29:36 “Guffaw.”- Dan

30:13 Yeah, just move again guys!

30:28 Phil feels bad for kangaroo jokes earlier.

31:11 Phil likes the do over, time flipping, reset thing.

31:33 Louise story mention.

32:18 “What is that wink?”- Dan

32:30 “All of these daddies are mixed bags.”- Dan desk slamming returns

32:40 “He’s a bloody angel. He’s an angel.”- Dan

32:42 “He’s got a dark secret.”- Phil

32:44 “But also angels are terrible. Stop feeling bad by comparing yourself to an angel.”- Dan

32:48 “Dark secret.”- Phil

33:07 “Plot twizzle.”- Dan

33:45 “They are definitely possessed. I told you, dark secret.”- Phil

34:05 “Christie, Christian and Chris. Wow.”- Dan

34:08 “Evil.”- Phil

34:09 “Definitely.”- Dan

34:28 Exorcist

34:34 “Time for the nappy ding dong.”- Dan

35:01 “Bro”- Dan  "Bro"- Phil

35:20 That look

35:22 “Old college roommate.”- Phil

35:23 “Just sayin.”- Dan

35:35 “River. Oh my god.”- Dan (good name)

35:42 Nice baby gurgling Dan

35:51 “Survived that hazing together.”- Dan

36:00 Phil enjoying the matching eyebrows

36:06 “Maybe they got that scar together, doing something, as roommates.”- Dan

36:30 “Copacabana.”- Dan

36:50 “Clearly we didn’t have the American college experience. We did the Smirnoff Slam.”- Dan

37:05 Jogging with baby imitation

37:12 “Wow. Dilddy is just every person probably on the internet and YouTube, in the community watching this.”- Dan

37:25 “Wow. So relatable.”- Dan (shush Dan, #relatable is your schtick)

37:30 “How is he so ripped if he never jogs though?”- Phil (umm you selected that body type and said he works out.)

37:37 “Bro brunch.”- Phil, “A bro brunch?!”- Dan

“Why do we never have bro brunches?”- Dan, “I don’t know”-Phil

“What the hell is a bro brunch?”- Dan, “I don’t know.”- Phil

37:52 “Jog on, Craig.”- Phil, “Jog on, Craig? Jesus.”- Dan

38:18 “I mean, there’s like, stuff in that, isn’t there.”- Yes Dan, they’re tomatoes.

41:01 “The blonde guy.”- Phil

41:10 Phil likes coffee shop guy. Gee I wonder why. Dan is unsure, too cool.

41:30 Dan likes the blonde: confidence, wants to make you happy, “that’s who Dilddy needs in his life, at this important time.” (Dear god Dan can you not?)

Phil still thinks he’s a robot with satanic children. Yep.

41:51 Gee Phil you don’t seem into it. (probably just tired, maybe headache)

42:08 “Thumb it”, tickle, etc.

42:45 “Get a dog.”- Dan

[duelingdestiny]

☠ ♥ ♦ ♢ ✮☄ ☯ ☀ ☁ ☂ ☢ ☣ ❀ ✧❥ ❦ ❧ ✖ ♒❣

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Start public shit on my dash. I literally cannot handle it. I don’t want to be involved. I don’t want to see it. I’ve been a part of it before. I’ve screwed up and started it myself before, and at this time in my life I’m avoiding it like the plague.

 ♥What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

Oh my god. Uhhhhh. Wow so okay the thing I actually regret rp wise is losing one of my favorite partners due to something really stupid that could have been handled WAY better on both sides but it’s really helped me to handle things better as a person. Still, I regret losing that person as an RP partner, and I probably always will. 

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

I mean the really big thing that messes with me is because of character bleed. When people just leave Atem. It really messes him up. Or when any relationship he’s in just ends. It’s like he has no closure and it messes with me to have to deal with his pining ass. 

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz

In short Yes. I’ve been around possibly the longest at the point and I’ve seen a lot of my hcs migrate to other Yami/Atem blogs, but it doesn’t bother me. I’m flattered, besides most of them aren’t so far fetched that people couldn’t come up with them on their own. I will however flip shit over my icons Masaya90 made them for me as a commission and I will absolutely fight someone over them, but you know how I feel about stolen art anyways

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m sorry give me a moment. Honestly yes. Other than the drama I have caused for myself in the past? All and all I am very careful about who I interact with. I just don’t deal with it. I ignore the “discourse” and just do what I’m here to do. That’s all I can do. 

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama?

Yes. I have been in the middle. And I’ve handled being in the middle badly, and I’ve tried my best to rectify my mistakes which is all anyone can do. I’ve made amends to the people I feel like I needed to make amends to and as a general rule I just ignore drama altogether now. 

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

I have. Sometimes I succeed, others I have failed miserably. I’ll tell you this. I will generally always try to bring peace to things. I don’t like being at odds with anyone. It’s too much work and I’m too lazy to hold a grudge. 

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

Oh this is a tie, between people just putting Atem in a situation he would NEVER be in, in a starter (without discussing it with me prior) or people who don’t cut their posts and use mobile as an excuse. I am on mobile some times and I just make a new post and mention my rp partner in it so we don’t clog the dash. It’s not rocket surgery. 

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?

I don’t think so mainly because if two people can work through something I think they should. I used to not think that but I’ve learned a lot and some times people just fuck up you know? So no. I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven someone when I shouldn’t have because everyone deserves another chance. 

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?

Again, see post above

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

CONTAINER BLOGS!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I have fucking unfollowed people for this shit. I understand that you want your blog to be pretty, but holy shit. Just font that’s a size 7 and I have to blow up the page like 9 times in order to read anything and most of them have the practically non existent scroll bar and AUTO PLAY fucking terrifies me. Like just please know every time I have to go on your blog and music starts out of no where you are giving me a HEART ATTACK. Just I know you think it looks pretty but before you decide on the things like that go on your blog and look at it. USE it. User friendly is a REALLY important thing guys. 

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

Due to past personal experiences I like to make up my own mind about people. Honestly the best relationship came from that. Making up my own mind. A lot of really good friendships have come from that so yes, I always try to give people a chance no matter what I’ve heard, because what you hear is probably only half of the truth to being with. 

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

People being shitty to others on the dash publicly. And yes before anyone points a finger, I have been in on that once and it was an awful stupid idea. It doesn’t help anything. It literally doesn’t. Tearing someone up in public makes you look like a giant asshole. We have Inboxes and IM systems and a plethora of other social media so if you have an issue with someone you can talk to them like they are a person and explain your grievance and if it’s THAT big of a deal just unfollow them and block them if you need to, but there’s no reason to be Captain Asshole on the dash. No one really wants to see it and it makes everyone’s experience really uncomfortable so bottom line? Just don’t call people out publicly. 

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

I’m up in the air with this. I have WAY too many followers and it’s extremely frustrating to reblog a meme get 30 reblogs off said meme and get literally not one thing in my inbox from said meme. But I remind myself timezones, and maybe people don’t feel like that will work for our muses but here’s the really easy thing that you can do if that’s the case. REBLOG FROM THE SOURCE. Then people don’t get the hit that basically looks like “I don’t WANT to interact with you.” and it makes everyones lives a little better. But I REALLY support sending memes in. I have days where I will just make a post that is MEME HOUR which is if you post a meme as long as I think Atem would be down, I will send you in an ask for it. It’s really fun and it makes up for the times when I’m not on to spam peoples assboxes. 

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you? 

Honestly someone has ruined every character for me at one time or another lol but FC I’ve got a good one. Now it wasn’t from RP but Gina Torres who is one of the prettiest people imho was RUINED for me by the show Angel. Because (SPOILER ALERT) She’s a giant pile of maggots okay? And she’s in some of my fave shows: Firely, Any Day Now, Suits. But I cannot unsee her face on Angel. She just shows up in shit and I scream. She popped up on Criminal Minds once and I just shut it off. She’s in Hannibal and I REALLY want to watch that. DAMMIT. 

❦ Has someone been jealous of you? 

Maybe, but I wouldn’t know why...I mean I’m just me. Oh! Maybe when I go to cons and meet awesome people? I’d be jealous of me then too. 

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone? 

Yes. There are people I get jealous of. People who get more interaction, people who are here all the time, people who are in a better time zone. So yeah, happens. 

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

Like I said before, I think I have been here longer than most in this fandom at least the rp side and HOO BOY, things have changed a lot. Remember when we had to tag a post on the side? Remember when Missing E was the extension we all had? No? That’s because I’ve been here forever. Before this I was in the SPN fandom. So yeah. I feel like I’ve stuck around a lot longer than a lot of people. What kills me is that things have changed but not really improved? When are we going to be able to lock a post so people’s art can’t be stolen? When are we going to be able to delete a post and all clones of that post are deleted as well so someone who made a mistake 6 years ago and LEARNED from it doesn’t have to wake up with hate in their inbox every morning? 

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

I actually really love both the fandoms I’m in right now, though both have some issues. Voltron is fucking unhinged about some shit I won’t get into because no one really cares in this fandom but HOO BOY I’m glad we don’t have that here because we literally have the same thing going on here. HA! I just thought of that. But yeah age gaps man. Just fuck everything about it. Okay done ranting about this before I get my first hate mail

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

Ask Sophie she’s had to listen to me rant for the last hour about everything on this list. I just screamed about the SPN fandom confusing reality with porn for 20 minutes and then the Josh Keaton thing with his kids so yeah, pretty fucking salty that people can’t just get the fuck along. 

[littleblondesoprano]

Dear *anyone*

Dear Meredith, 

Well, that was something; wasn’t it? I mean, I’ll cut to the chase here–I told you, from the day stuff happened with Sara, that you don’t ever have to lie to me, I mean, and there’s no reason to. I’m one of the most open people you could meet! And yet–and yet! I don’t know how many times you lied to me; I tried to justify it to myself by saying you had a horrible time growing up–which you did–and you had to lie to your dad for the sake of not being hurt at night, and for the longest time I believed that. But, there comes a point where your raising only gets your bad behavior so far. 

I mean, you had to deal with a lot at a young age–so did I. You dealt with raising yourself in two volatile households–one that wasn’t even your family. I dealt (and still deal) with an autoimmune disease that, at this point, is incurable and will probably kill me. But that gives you no right to treat people the way you did; you manipulated me. The countless texts I received of “I need you right now, I need my best friend.” and driving half an hour to your house, only to be met with hostility–I mean, you didn’t even give me a blanket to sleep with when it was thirty degrees outside, and in the lower sixties in the house!

Then there came the mind games; we would set a day to hang out, and maybe the day (or night) beforehand you would cancel, and if you didn’t do that–you wouldn’t answer me until day of, saying you needed more time until we hung out–changing the time from 11:00am to 4:00pm–and I am not your servant. I am not your maid. I will not wait on you hand and foot–but I did, maybe three or four times, and then I retaliated, because I suddenly realized my time was more valuable then you led me to believe. You wouldn’t stop talking about the issues you and your husband were having, either; you shouldn’t have gotten married, and I say that from the bottom of my heart. You fucked up big time, sis. Not only did you initiate a “open relationship” without his consent, you did it with multiple men at the same time. I mean, god damn–how many times did you have sex in one week? 20? I mean, how can you do that to the man you claimed you loved? Have sex with other men and claim that he gave consent when he really didn’t? You fucking cheated. You cheated on your man, and what’s worse, is you cheated on your man with his brother.  I absolutely hate being around cheaters, because I was cheated on, and you know that! 

Your husband would give you the world; and he said it in those letters he sent to you from his basic training. Multiple times. He loves you; but do you really love him? Can you claim that after taking multiple vacations with other men? Driving 12 hours to go on vacation with some man-hoe you picked up off of Tinder? How can you text me 12 times in the same minute, wailing about how much you don’t love your husband anymore, how much that your relationship is over and you should’ve never even dated him–and then, when you go see him again, you hide it all behind a smile and post everywhere how you’re so in love with him–in the same second, deleting all the pictures you took of the men while you fucked them. 

Then it came to Claire; who hated me since the beginning, really. I don’t care about her, and you knew that. Now that I’ve stopped talking to you, it seems like she’s all you ever talk to–is that because she’s your only friend or are you trying to dig at me? She’s stupid as well. You took her, a 17 year old girl, to get her first tattoo–you’re not even her guardian! She’s not even legal! And then you…you really just took from your own appearance as well. I won’t even speak on that because it’s such an obvious, easy thing to say something horrible about. 

You used to be my best friend, and now…well, now I have no respect for you. You cheat on your husband with multiple men and keep it secret (actually telling your mother-in-law that you wanted an open relationship with your husband–bad move) and then you say that you’re so in love with him, you lied to me even about little, meaningless things. You killed your own hamster by letting it roll down three flights of steps in its ball, you stole from a store and tried to get me to hide the evidence, you stole from a pumpkin patch, you slept with your brother-in-law, you’re impulsive, you played your mind games and manipulated me and my feelings…

You weren’t really a friend at all. I even have cause to doubt your sanity. 

For your husband’s sake, I hope you two divorce–maybe you’re really in love and just lied to yourself–either way, you committed atrocities to him and his family. 

I’m glad I got out of this when I did. At least I know what to look out for now. 

Sincerely, 

Someone Finally At Peace.