#im nayeon angst

[dovveri]

matching wounds

synopsis: 2 victors are brought back as mentors for the 58th hunger games. you don’t understand how your fellow victor nayeon seems so okay after everything that happened in the arena.

warnings: angst! sleep issues, trauma, death, killings, blood, weapons, mentions of sex trafficking, suggestive at times, all the trigger warnings that come w the hunger games ig…

w/c: 13.3k

a/n: got this idea post conan concert listening to the exit and being thrown back to this one hunger games edit to the exit and this was born! its mostly just them dealing w their trauma and talking and being there for each other </3

»┼)➝

the train ride to the capitol is it's usual flamboyant, boastful lie. you scowl, looking out the window as you pass the countryside at rapid speed. a year was not nearly enough to recover from the trauma of winning the infamous hunger games. you still remember very clearly, the absolute dread you felt sitting on this train a year ago, praying to all the deities and gods you had never bothered learning the names of in your limited education in district 9.

your attention is drawn over to the carriage door when it slides open. your accompaniment, the only other victor alive in district 9, walks in briskly. she doesn't seem to take notice of you slinking around in the corner of the carriage. im nayeon was something else. she was your mentor when you were in the games last year. she had won her games not too long before you, reaped at the very young age of 14 for the 49th hunger games. you guessed you could consider yourself lucky in that sense. your name was picked out last year when you were already 18, so you already had the build and experience from working out in the fields all day to help you win. nayeon's games didn't make too big of a splash because the next year was the quarter quell and haymitch abernathy from district 12 stole the win to the surprise of much of the capitol and the districts. he was all everyone could talk about and people easily forgot the winner of the games the year before his.

you don't remember watching her games on television either, you were only 10 at the time, and your family was too poor to afford something as luxurious as a screen. you saw no sense in watching the games when you could be out working the fields to bring home food for your family instead, that was the first year you were trusted with heavier tasks after all.

as a mentor, nayeon was surprisingly bright and enthusiastic. she was a little awkward when she first met you, but when she found out you actually had potential, she poured her all into preparing you for your games. and with that bright charm she enticed capitol citizens easily, getting you sponsors left and right despite coming from such a poor district. your male counterpart was a little less lucky, he was killed in the initial bloodbath at the cornucopia, it was a shame but everyone expected it. you think he was one of the ones in your district that was worse off, he looked skinny as a stick, and when you sparred during training you had him flat on his face within seconds.

you'll never forget the face nayeon made when you came out of that arena, bloodied and barely conscious after killing the other final contestant, but nayeon was the first face you recognised. she hovered over you, eyebrows creased, hand over her mouth, tears falling uncontrollably, dripping onto your face.

you were the only other victor district 9 produced. it must have meant a lot to her that you survived after she sent kids off each year knowing they'll most likely die. it was the first time you had seen her break, the first time she wasn't putting on a mask for the kids she lead to their deaths.

because your district didn't have a male victor, you were asked to come back as a mentor this year instead. the kids reaped were scrawnier than ever, you had asked the staff to instruct them to take a shower first before meeting you and nayeon. you remember when you were escorted onto the lavish train for the first time you felt so disgusted with your grime and dust you felt too bad to eat all of the food that would be laid out, thinking you were much less than presentable, especially in front of nayeon.

you continue sulking in your chair, watching nayeon move around the room effortlessly. although you had moved yourself and your whole family into the victor's village, you still didn't see much of the older woman despite practically being neighbours.

you got to know her mom and her sister a little better but found out her dad was killed in a small uprising when she was only a little girl. not long after, her younger sister was born and she had to practically raise her while her mom was out trying to find as much work as she could to support all of them. nayeon grew up to be strong-willed and caring, winning her games with her cunning and natural ability to draw people into her and make them trust her. back home though, she spent most of her time away from home, no one, not even her family knows where she goes.

the carriage door slides open a second time, and this time the tributes for this year walk in shyly.

nayeon turns immediately with a smile, the same one she presented to you when you first walked in.

"hi! come in! please help yourself to all of the food here. it's a fairly long train ride into the capitol so it's important to bulk you guys up as much as we can before the games start."

the contestants flinch at the reminder of the games, looking at each other in uncertainty.

you step up then, "it's okay. everything's safe to eat. i had the same worry last year because i heard the story of that boy winning one of the early games by poisoning everyone on the train on the way to the capitol so all the other tributes were already dead or weakened by the time they stepped into the arena. security has upped considerably since the early games so it's safe to eat. you should eat, it'll help you get strong before you go in."

nayeon's gaze flicks over to you when you step out of the shadows, a curious look settling over her face.

the male contestant lurches forward at the reassurance, immediately stuffing his face with all he can reach, never having seen this much food in his life.

the girl also steps forward watching her counterpart, gingerly picking up a scone and biting in, her eyes light up at the texture.

you smile, moving towards them, "here. add this, it's called jam. it'll make it taste even better." you grab a scone for yourself and show her how to apply the jam, watching her take a bite and grin, mumbling her thanks around a mouthful of food.

nayeon slides in next to you, sitting across from the contestants with a kind smile.

"good right? after only eating plain bread and wheat for so long it's almost otherworldly."

the contestants hum and nod, still more focused on the food than the two of you.

"what were your names again?"

the boy finishes his mouthful of scrambled eggs, "julian. my family mainly works in transportation of wheat. so i've had a little experience hauling heavy things and lugging them around."

nayeon nods, "that can come in useful. there are always weapons that are included for heavyweights like you." she turns to the girl next, prompting her to reply.

"adeline. i don't have a lot of experience doing much of anything." she replies shyly.

you speak up, "that's okay! i'm sure we'll be able to find something once training starts."

you don't ask any further questions, nayeon and you in mutual silent agreement to let them eat until they were full. you send them off to explore the rest of the train and have a look outside, getting accustomed to the rapid change of pace from grueling farming work under the hot sun everyday, to air-conditioned velvet cushions and endless food and drink.

nayeon excuses herself as well, saying she was going to ask the train conductors exactly how long it would take to get there.

you wave goodbye, the permanent smile etched onto her face unnerved you.

when she was your mentor, you just thought she was encouraging. but now… now you know how she feels to be the last one standing in the arena. and you don’t understand how she can possibly smile or act as if everything was okay, not when the people you killed and betrayed haunt you in your nightmares every night, not when your senses are constantly on alert, terrified someone would jump out from around a corner to try and kill you, not when you felt like you had never left the arena.

it felt like you and nayeon had matching wounds, but yours were still black and bruised, and hers were perfectly fine. leaving the arena and trying to live life after the trauma it put on you, and being forcefully reminded of it every year afterwards, it was like you buried something that never died. how could she live with herself?

you spend the rest of the day moping around, wallowing in despair and wondering just how you were going to survive the next few weeks.

»┼)➝

a jolt of the train wakes you up. not that you could ever sleep well anyway. the first few nights after the arena you barely slept an hour a day. if you weren’t paranoid someone would attack you in your sleep, you’d be woken by the voices of the ones you killed.

you sigh, sliding out of bed and stepping outside your room. you wouldn’t be able to sleep for any longer so may as well rise early.

you pad down the hallways lightly, rubbing your eyes and wandering around aimlessly. you had gotten used to waking up at ungodly hours and usually chose to be productive when you were awake, cleaning, gardening, knitting, learning whatever you couldn't learn when you were living in poverty and didn't have the opportunity to learn. anything to get your mind off the ghosts that haunted you.

you find yourself at the back of the train, in the last carriage where half the carriage's ceiling and back wall is practically clear, allowing you to see the terrain the train was passing through.

what you don't expect is another figure, curled up at the end of the carriage sitting on the ledge and looking out at the landscape. nayeon.

she's got one knee up on the ledge, the other stretched out dangling over the edge, arms perched on her knee, head rested on her arms. you approach slowly, unsure if she was awake or not.

it seems her senses never really dulled at all either though. she noticed you when she walked into the food carriage earlier in the day, she just chose to let you think and brood, she noticed you now as you tread towards her slowly. this time she turns her head to not scare you, letting you know she was awake. her eyes are crinkled in a softer smile, heavy and tired.

"hey y/n."

you reach her quietly, she gestures for you to sit opposite her on the ledge, shuffling around so you have the space to sit up and lean back against the window.

"hi... did you sleep?"

nayeon hums, "a little."

it's silent for a few minutes, the churn of the train and the soft breaths the two of you let out are the only sounds you can hear. you look out towards the horizon as well, the fields and forests the train rapidly passes blur into mixes of brown and dark green. it's getting brighter, slowly but surely, the sun was lazily making its way up, signifying another day you were alive.

your eyes eventually drift over to nayeon. (they always do.) she was like a mystery someone would dedicate their life to uncovering. you trace over the lines on her face, noticing the little mole under her left eyebrow for the first time, the small array of freckles that dotted her cheeks and the bridge of her nose, her heart-shaped lips full and-

you catch yourself, eyes flicking up to hers again to make sure she wasn't watching you. you breathe out a sigh of relief, she was still entranced by the slowly rising sun.

"are you always up this early?" she speaks up at last, breaking the silence that settled over you calmly, although it wasn't an unwelcome break, like a raindrop disturbing the peace of a still lake.

"sometimes. i haven't really slept well ever since i left the arena." you realise this is the first time you're speaking about your experience in the arena with her. the first time speaking about your experience period. you had closed the memories off, pushing them down deep inside you so they could only haunt you in your unguarded sleep. and your family knew better than to ask, they saw what you went through on the big screens, there was no need to remind you of the trauma more than you already were reminded of it everyday.

nayeon lets out a dry chuckle, "that never changes."

your eyebrow raises, you knew close to nothing about the older woman. she never talked about herself or her games, when she was your mentor she was solely focused on helping you survive. and you had never asked.

"... you always seem so... fine though. i don't know how you do it to be honest."

she looks at you then, a sarcastic sort of glint in her eye, "is that what you think of me?"

you gulp, suddenly nervous for whatever reason, "i think that's what most people think of you. i didn't think much of it until i stepped out of that arena too. most people think we can just leave it all behind, enjoy the riches, bringing our families out of poverty, not having to live on scraps of grain everyday, they'd think we'd all look like you. but i'm not."

"i'm not either y'know. i have to put on this face. so that my family doesn't ask how i am. so that the kids i send to die every year think they have a chance of getting out and being as happy as i look."

"even faking it though... it must take so much. i can barely look at the kids without being thrown right back into that arena."

"you never get used to it. y'know the first year after i won, i was so optimistic. i thought, if i could do it, there's no reason anyone else can't do it from our district. and i thought that year they had better chances than me. i was only 15 y'know, when i first started mentoring, not to mention it was the quarter quell so there were twice the tributes i was in charge of. the tributes that year were all 16 or 17, i thought they were older than me, fitter than me, they could win, they really stood a chance. and then i watched them all be cut down in the first few seconds of the cornucopia bloodbath. four people. just like that. dead."

"...i'm sorry."

"don't be. that's just the world we live in right? the only way to survive is to think like the people in the capitol. when you view them as objects, as items of entertainment instead of real, tangible lives, it's a hell of a lot easier to watch them die." there's a somber pause, your mind racing, sorting all this new information you're getting out of her, "not you though." and then your mind's quiet, senses hyperfocused on what nayeon says next.

she sighs, looking back out at the soft orange and yellow hues that start to fill the early morning sky, "i couldn't do it. i couldn't look at you like that. no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't- i don't know. you were different. eight years sending 18 kids to die, but you came back."

"i couldn't have done it without you."

her lips turn upwards, just a little, but you catch it, "no. you brought it out of me. turns out when you actually care about who's in the arena instead of treating them like your next poker piece, you work a little harder to make sure they survive."

"but then what if they don't?"

her smile drops again, "i think you'll answer that for yourself after this year's games."

she sighs, standing up, about to leave, but you catch her hand, not even sure what compelled you to grab it. the contact makes both your eyes widen, looking down at where you're touching.

"wait..."

she waits. cocks her head, hand closing around yours in reciprocation.

you struggle to form the thoughts in your mind, too much information for your cognitive load to handle, but eventually one thing comes to the forefront.

"i care about you too."

nayeon smiles, a real smile this time, you can tell because her eyes crinkle, her nose scrunches, cheeks blush, perfect teeth show. you suddenly pull a memory from the depths of your brain, the first time you saw her, when her name was called out at her reaping. she was a small little thing, obviously young and frail, but her smile was just as practiced. except back then she had two large front teeth, it gave the appearance of a freshly born rabbit. you don't question where they've gone, her time in the capitol right before her games likely had her stylists 'fix' her teeth so she was objectively prettier and would attract more sponsors on screen. like cleaning the pigs before sending them to the slaughterhouse. what a broken world you lived in.

»┼)➝

you spend the next few days on the train leading up to the capitol getting to know julian and adeline better, trying to tease out parts of their personality that could be used to appeal to the public, as well as putting them on a basic exercise and meal regime to get them fitter and healthier for the games.

you also spent a lot more time with nayeon, working together to come up with the best plans and routines to put the tributes into, staying up late and studying all you can know about the other contestants that would be in the games, coming up with strategies that could be used once they were in the arena.

the outlandish extravagance of the capitol will never cease to amaze you. and judging by the look on nayeon’s face as you pull in, it seems no matter how many times you return, you will always be reminded of their power and riches over the districts.

you’ve been getting to learn nayeon’s expressions. right now, she’s sporting her fakest, most exaggerated smile for the capitol viewers. you know better though, the anger and disgust in her eyes only able to be interpreted by someone who came from the districts.

she turns to you then, and you blush, feeling caught staring, but she doesn't comment on it, instead brushing her hand past yours lightly, behind the peacekeepers stationed out front for your protection (or to keep you in line), and interlock your fingers where no one else can see. she squeezes gently in reassurance, leaning in to whisper into your ear, "smile y/n. you're the most recent victor, the one they'll remember best, the one they'll be most curious about since her games ended, their attention on you can help bring attention to our tributes who would never normally get this much of a crowd."

she was right. you didn't have time to wallow in the self-pity and hate you held for the capitol when you remember your two mentees from back home, likely terrified and completely overstimulated from their first sight of the capitol, the people coming to welcome them not even looking like they belonged to the same species, all dressed up in absurd colours and materials people in the districts probably slaved days away to manufacture.

you squeeze her hand in return, looking out to the crowd and smiling.

"look for the red dots. those are signs that cameras are currently recording for the rest of the capitol to see."

you follow nayeon's instructions, spotting the small blinking dots and smiling directly at them, waving and trying your best to remove yourself from your body, going into autopilot to not feel the utter abhorrence at being paraded around like a circus monkey.

the crowd becomes impossibly louder at your actions. when you can tell everyone's eyes are on you, you point to your tributes who are standing next to you, looking like newborn foals learning to walk, redirecting their attention.

nayeon gives you a little nod of approval, her hand not leaving yours while you slowly step off the train and follow the peacekeepers towards your transport to the training facilities while making your way through the welcome crowd.

by the time you finally arrive, it's already sundown and you can feel the exhaustion of having put on a face for so long. the tributes are taken away from you to meet their stylists for the first time. you're too tired to offer them any advice but nayeon steps in, still as energetic as she was when the day started.

"do everything the stylists tell you to do. it's gonna feel weird at first and they may even want you to do some things that you won't be comfortable with, but it's all gonna be for your benefit. just remember that they're on your side. they want to make you look like the best version of yourself for the rest of the capitol, and beauty sells. trust me i know."

they nod, thanking you both and being led off by peacekeepers.

you and nayeon are led to your floor where you'll be staying for the remainder of the games. as soon as you're inside you slump down onto the couch, waving off the avoxes that look at each other a little concerned.

"she's okay. just tired. you guys can leave us, we'll call you if we need anything." nayeon offers a polite smile, sitting down much more elegantly next to you.

the avoxes nod their acknowledgement and wander off. poor things.

when you hear that they're gone, you roll over to look at nayeon who's finally taken off her smile, folding her jacket neatly and placing it off to the side.

"you're really good at that."

she looks at you, tilts her head in question.

"you fooled me too. the whole happy polite princess thing you have going on. and you know you're way around. this is my first time back to the capitol since the games. i never thought i'd be back here."

something comes over her eyes, but she brushes it off, smiling at you, a little pained, but before she can reply, one of the avoxes comes back and whispers something into nayeon's ear. her face darkens, and she nods, standing back up.

"i have to go y/n. rest well." it's curt, she doesn't even look you in the eyes, and then she's gone.

you’re left blinking after her, confused at what just happened. did you say something wrong?

»┼)➝

nayeon isn't back even by dinner time. neither are your tributes, although they probably wouldn't be back until the next day, or even the day after. you remember the amount of procedures you'd gone through when you'd arrived. the preparations for the opening ceremony were extremely important for first impressions and they didn't have that much time to fix all the issues you'd grown up with. major plastic surgery was normally the way to go.

so you push the abundance of food around on your plate, thinking about how at home the amount of food you're eating could feed a family of 10. it sickens you. it's the first time since you'd left home that you were really alone. not counting the avoxes positioned behind you that had to attend to your every need. it was almost like you missed nayeon. she was always able to brighten your moods, playing around, even when things were serious she'd make sure nothing ever got too overwhelming for you or for the tributes. she was a veteran.

you sigh, pushing your food away, apetite gone. with nothing else to do, you retire to bed after a shower. maybe the soft mattresses and expensive fabrics designed particularly for sleep would finally grant you a night of good sleep.

it did the exact opposite. the fabric rubs your skin the wrong way, and you're tossing and turning in bed, playing around with the different settings of the window, shuffling your pillows around. you just couldn't find peace.

you yawn, giving up and sliding out of bed. you pad outside your room, intending to get some fresh air. on the train you didn't have that luxury, but you could still see the countryside while it passed. at least now you had a balcony in the main living room. it was caged off in case any of the tributes tried to commit suicide before the actual games, but it was still fresh air.

the cool tiles of the floor feel foreign on the skin of your feet. before you make it to the balcony door, you hear the front door clicking open.

your heart stops, sweat immediately building up on your brow, your body being thrown back into the arena, terrified someone was here to kill you.

your movements are quick, crouching and scrambling towards the couch in silence, grabbing the closest thing you can, the couch blanket. you'd learnt anything can be fashioned into a weapon with the right mindset. the blanket could be used to choke the intruder if it really came to it.

you peek to the side of the couch, holding your breath as soft footsteps pad towards the living room, the only light available is the one in the entry way, overcasting a shadow moving its way closer and closer.

but as soon as it's about to turn the corner, it stops.

you curse internally. did they notice you?

you don't get to form a second thought before a pin is whizzing your way, impaling itself into the couch. you barely have enough time to scramble backwards, the cushion of the couch saving you, but the person is leaping forwards, pushing you down into the floor. you react automatically, struggling against the figure, using the blanket you're clutching onto to latch onto a leg, yanking so they lose their balance, toppling over. you take the opportunity to quickly clamber over them, pulling the blanket to wrap around their neck.

their hands come up immediately, trying to create space between the fabric pulled tight at their throat, gasping in effort.

you finally can assess the intruder. she's wearing a short dress, pale skin exposed, hair pinned up in a clean updo with the same pins that she must have used to throw at you once she noticed your presence. and then suddenly, with horror you realise it's nayeon.

you quickly let her go, scrambling back until your back hits the couch, staring at her as she coughs, trying to catch her breath.

"nayeon!"

she groans, turning, eyes adjusting to the dark, "y/n?"

"oh fuck i'm so sorry i didn't- i thought there was an intruder-"

she massages her throat, letting out a little chuckle when she realises what's happened, "it's okay y/n. i thought the same. sorry for almost impaling you with a hairpin."

you stare at her, still in shock. "what- where have you been- jesus i almost killed you-"

"don't get cocky now. i could've gotten out of that."

you roll your eyes, "i'm serious nayeon. what are you wearing? i'm sorry too." your words are flying out, too many thoughts coming up too fast, but mainly, you're just glad it wasn't some assassin sent to kill you.

she looks down at herself, like she was just remembering she was dressed up. "ugh never mind that. are you okay? you're not hurt are you?"

you shake your head, "you?"

"i'm good don't worry your pretty little self. anyway i'm gonna go take a shower. you should go back to sleep y/n."

you tilt your head, standing up when she does, "but where have you been?"

she starts towards the bedrooms, turning on the hallway light so you can finally see each other, "out." she doesn't look at you when she replies, pulling her dress down so it covers more of herself. you catch a glimpse of the scar on her right thigh right before she covers it, the one she got in her games when someone had slashed her leg. her face is made up, but you notice the mascara running down her face in tear streaks. it's such a surprise it stops you in your tracks. you hadn't seen nayeon cry since that time you were barely conscious and just out of the arena.

"nayeon..."

she pauses, but doesn't turn back to look at you, "what is it?"

"i... you... are you okay?"

nayeon lets out a dry laugh, "i'm fine y/n. you aren't that strong. i just feel really gross and i need to shower. i'll see you in the morning."

before you can stop her she's stepping into her room and closing the door. you frown, she was obviously lying, something had happened while she was out and she wasn't telling you. it was fine if she didn't want to tell you, you just... you cared about her. you owe your life to her. you want to do anything you can to repay her.

so you sit outside her room, it's not like you were going to be able to get any sleep anyway, you'd wait for her to finish her shower and talk to you.

»┼)➝

it's almost an hour before she leaves her room. you sit fiddling your thumbs, thinking up scenarios of what could have possibly happened. nayeon was too good at hiding herself. you wished she'd open herself up. if not to her family, to you, someone who understood what it feels like to be in her position. you were one of a kind, there weren't going to be many district 9 victors after you, there certainly weren't any before her.

when she finally opens her door you scramble up.

she looks down at you surprised, her hands wringing out her hair in a towel, face bare. you're reminded of just how young she was. despite her experience and knowledge of everything, you remember she was just a girl.

she smiles. you're practiced enough that you can tell it's fake.

"what are you doing here y/n?"

"waiting for you."

"i told you to go to sleep."

"i couldn't sleep anyway."

her smile stays as she steps past you, you follow quietly. she turns the kitchen lights on, rummaging around in the fridge for something to eat.

"have you not eaten yet?"

her hands stop moving for a second, "no. not yet."

"where were you?"

she sighs, taking out a takeaway box and moving to the microwave. "i was out y/n. i told you. please stop asking me."

"but why can't you tell me?"

"it's classified."

"what?"

"i can't tell anyone."

"but why?"

"i can't tell you that."

the microwave rings.

"do you not trust me?"

"it's not that."

"then why?"

she sighs again, ripping off the lid of her takeaway box a little roughly, "i just can't tell you y/n. you'll probably find out after this year's games end anyway."

"what is that supposed to mean?"

she whips around then, eyes red, eyebrows furrowed, she's raw and genuine for the first time, too tired to keep concealing herself. "you're not stupid y/n. you're an attractive victor. what do you think happens to attractive victors? where do you think i go when we're back home and i have to leave? i'm certainly not out farming or doing all the regular jobs people back home do."

that takes you back, the pure hurt in her eyes, the way she cowers into herself in just her thin sleeping clothes and bare face. she's so much younger, so much more human without all the flashy smiles and outfits she wears for the capitol.

"i- i don't- i just thought-"

"no. you weren't thinking. you're naïve y/n. you think we have to live with just our traumas from the games. you think there's an end to it all. that once you get over what happened in the arena you'll be able to live a normal life. the life. the life they promised us when they said we'd win the games. well i'm sure living it!" she chuckles darkly, arms flailing out and raising her voice to the ceiling.

"it never ends y/n. all they do is take and take until we're as bare and barren as the farms we take care of."

you blink stupidly, the reality of what she's saying settling in.

"you admire me for how well i lie." she spits the word out, mouth dripping venom and eyes furious, "i lie to survive. everyone does. the capitol lies to us, promising us riches and glory for winning the games. that's why districts like 1 and 2 exist right? why careers fight to volunteer to kill other kids in the arena? i wonder if they'd go back in time and do the same thing once they realise what winning actually means. we're not real to them y/n. we're not humans. we're products. expensive, dolled up, murderers they have on a leash."

she sighs heavily, both hands coming to rake her hair backwards. "i'm sorry. i was meant to be your mentor. i was meant to prepare you for all of this." her voice cracks, you stare at her, mouth agape, processing all this new information, "but i couldn't. i just couldn't. i was so happy when you won. i thought i could protect you from it all."

"w-what do you mean protect me?"

she slumps, her posture giving out, you've never seen her so broken. "they wanted to start you off last year. because you were already 18 when you won." she scoffs, "not that it stopped them from starting me when i was 15. i convinced them to give you a year. i wanted you to know what it felt like to win. to be free of it all, to have your belly full, to be with your family, to be able to live without the fear of not waking up the next day."

you gawk at her in horror, "what did you do nayeon?"

she chuckles darkly again, "i said i'd take your customers. until your year was over."

"you- what?!"

she wipes at her eyes angrily, picking up a spoon and stabbing it into her food, "it's fine y/n. it's not a big deal."

"wha- nayeon- it is a big deal! this- you can't- i'll kill-"

suddenly she's got a hand clamped over your mouth, so close you can see the redness of her eyes, the small freckles that dot her skin. "don't say something you'll regret. they have ears everywhere."

you gulp, nodding, wide-eyed as she lets you go.

"w-what about what you said?"

"i didn't say anything explicit. and you were going to find out soon anyway. your year is almost up."

"what- why haven't you fought back? why have you gone along with this for so long?"

she laughs thickly, "careful. that's rebellion you're talking about."

"but it's not fair! the deal was once we won we won! the only thing we should have to do is become mentors! and even doing that is cruel enough being forced to relive the games each year!"

"there are no limits to how cruel humans can be y/n."

"i- but- but still!"

"i have family. so do you. what do you think happens to them if you say no?"

that makes you pause, thinking back to your parents who worked so hard to bring you and your siblings up. who kept you alive until you were 18. lots of kids weren't that fortunate. many died from starvation, or of the unhygienic circumstances back home.

you collect yourself, taking a breath, nayeon was still inches away from you, studying your reactions. "do they know?" you ask softly.

she sighs, shaking her head, "my mother went through enough when my dad died. even more when i was reaped for the games. she thinks my trips away are just meeting people in the capitol for business ventures or whatever. it makes sense because i always bring back large sums of money. and my sister... i never want her to find out how cruel this world is. it's enough she still has to be entered into the reapings at least once a year, but that'll stop soon when she turns 18. and then i hope to just give her a normal life. she'll never have to worry over me again."

"nayeon..."

she sniffles, "it's fine y/n. worry about yourself. i can't look after you anymore. i'm sorry."

"are you kidding?! nayeon please... i don't- do you not understand what you mean to me? i owe you my life. and now i find out you've been doing this for me for the past year. you don't have to protect me. i can protect myself. i won my games didn't i?" you try for a smile, she gives you a teary one back.

"i just- i never knew nayeon i'm sorry. i'm sorry i didn't know you were going through all this on your own. i wished you'd told me. i wished you wouldn't shoulder all this on your own. we know you're strong. we all saw your games, we know you're capable of survivng. you don't have to keep proving that. you can rely on others every once in a while."

"others like you?" she jokes, smiling up at you.

"yeah. like me. i'm the only other one that can relate. that can understand. i want to be there for you. i told you, i owe you my life, my family's lives. that's a debt i'll never be able to repay. i want to do as much as i can in this lifetime to be there for you."

"you don't have to do that y/n-"

"yes. yes i do. you've been there for me this entire time, without me even knowing. when will you let me do the same for you?"

that gives her pause, she hides under wisps of hair that have fallen down over her forehead.

you ache to brush them away, to cup her cheeks, to see those eyes again.

your wish is granted when she looks up after a second, pupils glassy. and then without another word she's burying herself in the crevice of your neck, arms coming up to wrap around you, taking a shaky inhale. you react just like you had when she had thrown that pin at you, immediately reciprocating, pushing your cheek against hers and circling your arms around her waist.

you stay there for an immeasurable amount of time. unsaid words drifting between you, sharing emotions, pain. nayeon finally feels like she's not alone for the first time since she'd won her games 9 years ago. and you finally feel at peace in her arms, the ghosts that haunted you gone for the moment.

the both of you wound up in nayeon's bed that night. it wasn't awkward, the complete opposite. you naturally gravitated towards her after she finishes eating, and she lets you cling to her. when you fall asleep, limbs entangled and hearts beating in tandem, you'll realise in the morning, it's the first time the both of you will have had a full night's rest without any of your regrets invading your dreams.

»┼)➝

the horn sounds. you grip nayeon's hand as the competitors rush forwards, you try taking in as much of the arena as you could, as if you were standing on the platforms in the arena for the first time again. you were lucky in your games to have been granted fields of tall grass. it obstructed all of the other competitors’ vision and would prove very difficult to hide in, but you were practiced in moving around between blades of wheat that grew up to 2m tall back home without making a sound. this year it seems they took a more traditional approach, the cornucopia is in the middle of the arena as always, plain desert and beating sun the only thing visible. you can make out sand dunes on the far right of the arena. it would be hard to find a water source. your eyes lock onto your tributes, praying they make it through the initial bloodbath. they're not placed in a position they can see each other, in this scenario, you and nayeon had instructed them to run for it. don't bother with the initial bloodbath, the first thing they'd need to find was water.

you breathe a sigh of relief when you see adeline do exactly that. she makes for the dunes you spotted earlier, leaving behind the chaos of the first few minutes. but then the camera pans to julian, seemingly frozen on his platform, completely petrified as he watches the girl from district 8 fall to her knees after someone launches a javelin at her.

"move!" you're extremely tense watching the scene, trying to maintain your composure as you knew you were still in public, the opening of the games was always a big spectacle, all the mentors were situated up in viewing boxes while the capitol watched along on massive screens.

nayeon grips your hand tighter, a warning not to be too loud, to keep on that mask.

you spare a glance at her, her features are tight in concentration, eyes glued to the little figures on the screen.

your head whips back when the crowd suddenly howls. it seems the career pack has formed and has just taken down both the tributes from district 12. it disgusts you how these people can cheer over the deaths of children.

julian has finally started moving though. he leaps off the platform and runs forward.

no. no no no. he needs to run away from the cornucopia. you grit your teeth, he must have seen the deaths of the district 12 tributes and thought the careers would be distracted.

the camera follows as he crouches and dips past ongoing fights, he manages to grab a sword, but that's where his luck ends. the girl from district four is wielding a nasty trident, charging straight for him. he tries to fend her off with his sword, catching it in one of the prongs of the trident, but then with horror, his feet catch on the sand. he hasn't gotten used to the terrain yet. he must have known running on sand was much more difficult than running on regular ground or the concrete of the training grounds. the girl takes the opportunity to yank her trident back, and then jabs it straight into him, all three prongs go through his chest and out the other side. you can see him cough up blood in shock, hands coming up to rest on the handle of the trident, she pushes him down and steps on his stomach to yank her weapon back out, already on the lookout for her next victim.

you can't believe what just happened. you had knew him. you had spoken to him. you had just seen and touched him this morning before he was flown off to the arena. it's completely unreal. the crowd roars with glee.

your mind can't keep up with your eyes. there's no way he was dead. the sounds, senses of the crowd drown out, you stare blankly at the main screen, watching other kids be cut down left and right, kids smaller than your youngest siblings, all while people dressed up in nauseating colours and patterns placed bets and had their children play fight with toy swords and weapons imitating real life people that died for their entertainment.

"y/n- y/n... y/n!" nayeon's shaking you out of your stupor, you blink, looking down at your intertwined hands, her concerned look that's quickly masked with a smile.

"the announcer was just asking you for some comments about the opening." you can see straight through her smile, you've spent much more time together over the past couple weeks while you were preparing your tributes for the games. you didn't explicitly talk about it, but you'd always end up in her bed each night, cuddled up and talking about everything and nothing until you both fell asleep. it was the only way you could sleep these days, and you knew it was the same for her.

you look past her shoulder to see a short man with bright green hair and a matching moustache. he smiles expectantly, teeth all white and glowing, holding out a microphone to you.

nayeon squeezes your hand again, hidden under the tresses of your gowns.

you clear your throat, awkwardly leaning forward and looking into the camera panned towards you, "r-right. um well it's pretty standard from what we can see. my arena last year must have made it difficult to see all the... fighting so it seems they've gone with something a lot more open this year." you try for a joke, earning a boisterous laugh from the man with green hair and from some in the audience who were looking on where your face was projected on one of the smaller screens next to the main livestream.

"we can definitely see all the juicy bits more clearly can't we!"

juicy bits?! is he trying to remind us of the bloody insides of all the kids being slashed open?! what kind of sick joke is it to use those words?! nayeon saves you the outburst, speaking up with a smile and a voice you know she's only ever used when talking to capitol media.

"definitely! and i must say wilbur your moustache is fantastic this year!"

he blushes, twirling the green hair on his upper lip, "thank you nayeon. you're as beautiful as always. and i'm glad to see you're finally accompanied by another victor your age! it must have been very lonely these last few years on your own."

nayeon's hand tightens against you. you want to punch this man in the face.

"yes i'm very glad to have y/n here. we make a fine team don't you think?" she grins. you notice the angrier she is, the more absurd her acting is, almost as if she's testing the limits of just how far she can go before people finally realise she's been sarcastic the entire time.

"of course! 2 fine ladies such as yourselves, you're both a hit in the capitol! i'm sure lots of fellas in the crowd tonight would love to see you two team up another time."

there's an uproar in the crowd, obviously male voices hollering and agreeing with laughter.

you're absolutely revolted at the implication. so you can't stop yourself when the next words fall out of your mouth, "i'm sure you'd know a lot about teaming up wouldn't you wilbur? how many fellas do you have twirled around that moustache of yours?"

nayeon is barely able to conceal a scoff, hiding it as a cough into your shoulder. you smile daringly, all teeth as wilbur stares at you aghast.

he clears his throat, "i'm not quite sure i know what you mean by that y/n."

"oh nothing. just wondering how many balls you have to play with when you do that team sport out here... i don't quite recall the name, it must be something that is only really fashionable out here in the capitol."

"r-right. sports. ahaha! you must have gotten me mixed up with someone else y/n! yes that must be it. everyone here will know i'm not really one for sports." he tries to steer the subject off, his face burning up bright red, with his green hair he looks like a mishappen christmas tree. he moves on quickly after that, going to interview less problematic mentors.

"you shouldn't always let them get away with shit like that nayeon." you frown when the attention is off you again, whispering into her ear.

she shakes her head, "sometimes it's better to let it go than to bring it up. more trouble than it's worth. you did very well though. are you okay? you zoned out a bit back there."

you sigh, running your thumb over hers gently, "yeah. just... wasn't prepared i guess. adeline is still in it though, she's got a decent chance if she manages to find water."

"you can never prepare for this. i'm sorry."

"there's nothing to apologise for. you warned me on the train, about what it's like. nothing compares to the real thing though."

"i know. i'm here for you though okay? i couldn't physically help you in the arena but i can now."

"stop that nayeon. you did more than enough for me in the arena. i told you. i owe you my life."

she smiles. you're taken aback by the genuinity of it. the slightly dimmed lighting, her makeup not too over the top like some of the people you've seen walking around the capitol, but accentuating her already flawless features even better. you knew she was attractive, you'd have to be blind not to. and you'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought of nayeon as something more. you pushed it down though. people like you and nayeon didn't have the luxury of feelings like love.

you quickly break away from her gaze and those perfectly heart-shaped lips, looking back to the aftermath of the opening minutes. but even the grim bloodied bodies littering the floor that you can barely comprehend are real, do little for the blush that dusts your cheeks and the fluttering in your stomach.

»┼)➝

you can tell from the way she's breathing nayeon’s not asleep yet either. one of her arms is draped over your midriff, her breaths lightly hitting the back of your neck, legs entangled with your own.

"you're still awake." you whisper out into the quiet of her bedroom walls.

"so are you."

you don't dare turn to face her, knowing your faces would be centimetres apart, breaths hitting each other's lips, noses almost touching.

"i can't get it out my head. the way the trident just went through him. like he was made of clay."

her voice is soft, careful, "i’ll never forget any of them. not any of my kills.”

“he wasn’t your kill nayeon. the tributes you mentored aren’t your kills.”

“they may as well be. as a mentor, surely i can do something. but every year is the same. i don’t learn. i can’t do anything for them.”

“you helped me survive.”

she sighs, breath tickling the back of your neck, her arms wrap around you just a little tighter. “i told you. you’re different.”

“how?”

“you just are. i don’t know how to explain it.”

“you don’t have to. i… nevermind. still, i don’t think you should think of the tributes we mentor as people we’ve killed. it’s the capitol, everything’s them, that’s the big enemy remember?” your voice is hushed, paranoid they’re listening in somehow but also desperate to soothe nayeon’s worries.

“it doesn’t change what i did. all victors are murderers. we lost our innocence the day our names were pulled out of that bowl.”

“you’re right. we have to live with that. but at least we’re not alone now.” you decide to risk it, turning and shuffling around the bed until your nose to nose. you can feel the blush creeping up your cheeks already, wisps of her hair tickling your face, her eyes shining in the dark.

she stares at you for a little, eyes darting around your face. "you're right. we're not alone now." she speaks in a whisper, breath gently kissing your lips with her words.

you can't help but look down at her slightly parted, heart-shaped lips, her breaths coming in and out softly, luring you in. you're magnetised. the tension between you two is undeniable, thick enough to make you feel almost drowsy, eyes drooping and lidded, only focused on tracing the shape of her lips.

nayeon's the one to break it.

she leans in closer, hand tightening around your waist, closing her eyes and pressing your lips together. it's not sparks or lightning, it's just two mouths moving against one another, finding comfort in one another, it's soft and pure and everything the capitol robbed the two of you of when they turned you into murderers.

but then it's not. there's a salty tinge to her, the taste of tears. you open your eyes slowly, breaking away from her, she takes the opportunity to inhale shakily.

"nayeon?" you frown, immediately concerned you've overstepped.

she hides her face in your neck, squeezing herself against you.

"hey... what happened? what's wrong?"

"we- w-we can't." her voice is wobbly, there are still tears dripping down her face.

your heart sinks, "we can't?"

"i'm- i can't- i'm a product y/n. you'll become one too. i can't- i can't lose you too."

"but- you won't lose me."

"you don't know that y/n. you don't know what the capitol is capable of. if they find out we're- if they find out we care for each other like that they'll tear us apart. we can never have what normal people have."

"but that won't stop me from caring for you! and i know that's not going to stop you either."

"but when- i don’t- when they start selling you off i don’t know how i’ll be able to- to not kill them all."

you bring a hand up to her cheek, forcing her to look at you, thumb swiping across the skin under her eye, wiping off her tears, "i know. i don't know how i'll be able to do it either. but you're worth it. i haven't felt- i haven't felt this understood, i've spent so long thinking i'm alone, that i'll have to spend the rest of my life like this, but you make me feel happy. after all we've been through don't you think we deserve that?"

"but- but- they can't know y/n- they can't take you away from me."

"and they won't. i promise. do you trust me?"

nayeon stares up at you, her eyes shining, lip wobbly. she bites down into it after a second, breathing out a small "yes."

"i trust you too. anything they throw at us, we'll take it together. okay?"

she sighs, nodding, bringing a shaky hand up to feel you, just to make sure you were real, that she wasn't conjuring all this up to cope with her trauma. you lean into her touch, hand coming up to grip her wrist and squeeze, leaning in and touching your nose against hers, feeling safer than you've ever felt in your entire life.

»┼)➝

the next day is more of the same. at least this time you're not in a display box so you can have genuine reactions and you can be close to nayeon in the privacy of your own floor, finding comfort in her arms and words.

you spend the morning cuddled up, choosing to eat breakfast on the couch while the livestream of the arena plays. when there's nothing interesting going on they have live coverage of news anchors and commentators reacting to replays and talking about what happened during the night that the audience may have missed while they were asleep. adeline hasn't been seen on screen much but you know she's still alive and has found a small alcove in the desert with cacti that she can cut open to drink water from. still, you know it won't last her and nayeon and you plan on going out during lunch when most of the capitol citizens will be out and about to start finding sponsors to send water or food to adeline in the arena.

by the time you're in the city you come to realise just how good nayeon is at networking. you trail behind her like a lost puppy while she greets extravagantly overdressed citizens of the upper circle with a bright smile, compliments, and sparkling eyes. she seems to understand that you're much newer at this so she brings you along as a prop of sorts, convincing new and old sponsors to sponsor district 9 once again, after all, the most recent victor did come from district 9, and adeline was tutored by you with the most recent experience winning which made her someone to look out for in the later days of the games.

there are lots more people that recognise than you think, colours and materials you've never seen or felt before invading your senses, fake voices and compliments trying to get on your good side, you can simply smile and try your best to keep up.

eventually, you're seperated from nayeon when a short man engages you in a conversation about hair products and how you got yours to be so shiny and natural, you only nod along while he talks your ear off about different products and chemicals he's tried on his orange mess of a flat top, you can only provide clueless agreements and your simple hair routine back home. but you manage to steer the conversation back to the games and actually manage to get him to donate something as long as he gets the name of the random shampoo brand you use back home.

once you wave him off, you excitedly look around for nayeon, eager to tell her about your first donation that you managed all on your own. but as you scan the square, you can’t seem to catch sight of her.

you frown, wandering around a little until you spot her, hidden away in the shadows behind a few pillars. your eyes light up, almost skipping over to her until you realise she’s with someone else.

“stop- no i don’t want to-“

“c’mon you want sponsors don’t you? i’ll give you double what your highest donation is if you come now-“

“no! i’m not rostered on right now you can’t just- you can’t approach me in public like this-“

“no one saw us sweetheart c’monnn if we go now we can leave quietly. besides i saw your other victor and she’s doing alright on her own, she won’t even notice you’re gone.”

the man she’s with is gripping nayeon’s forearm harshly, when he starts pulling her away you step in, clearing your throat, eyes flaring up. “i did notice she was gone actually.”

nayeon whips her head around to you, but you can barely see her, your gaze is fixed on the way he still has his fingers wrapped around her, squeezing so tight her skin is white around his fingers.

your eyes trail up to his face when he laughs, not letting go of nayeon, “oh! y/n right? don’t worry nayeon and i are good friends. i’m just gonna borrow her for a bit yeah?”

you step forward, an arm sliding around nayeon’s waist protectively, glaring up into his blue eyes and perfectly sculpted nose, “is that true nayeon?” you don’t back down from his sleazy gaze while you direct the question to the older woman.

his eyes flick over to her, a warning in his eyes.

“i-it’s okay y/n i can handle this just go back to the square.”

you frown, unwilling to let her go, “no.”

the man raises an eyebrow, “you two a package deal now or something?”

nayeon bristles then, yanking her arm away from him, “don’t fucking touch her.”

the man backs up, surprised, “woah! calm down bunny i was just joking around.”

nayeon flushes at the nickname, “whatever josh. i told you i’m not rostered right now. book me in for when i’m actually available.”

“and her?” he smirks, nodding his head to you.

she grits her teeth, “take it up with your agent. don’t contact me outside again or i’ll make sure you won’t be able to buy any one of us.”

she doesn’t wait for him to respond, pulling you away and back into the main area.

you’re quiet, processing the information you just learnt. she doesn’t look at you, eyebrows furrowed, hand tight against yours.

“… was that one of your customers?”

she sighs, “yeah. one of my pushier ones.”

“i’m sorry.”

“what for? he pays well.” she spits out, storming back to your accommodation, deciding socialising for the day is done, she had collected enough donations today.

“i’m sorry you have to deal with him.”

“it’s not your fault.” she says simply, pulling you into the elevator and punching in your floor number.

you ascend silently, fiddling with your fingers, unsure of what else to say.

when you arrive, your fingers are still interlaced with hers, but she relaxes as soon as you step in, letting her mask drop.

“you did really well today.”

she smiles at you then, “thank you. i saw you grab that last donation too. adeline will be happy.”

you step closer to her, tentative and shy, her eyes crinkle at the sight. “thank you.”

“what for?”

you step closer again, swinging your intertwined hands slightly, “protecting me all that time.”

her hand tightens against yours.

“can you actually do that? stop him from using your… services?”

she snorts, “no. but he doesn’t know that. all he thinks about is his dick anyway, any danger to that and he’ll back off.”

“do they ever hurt you?”

her eyes soften, looking into yours, searching. “sometimes. sometimes it gives them pleasure. other times they like to take out their anger on us. maybe they’ve had a bad day or they’ve had a fight with their spouse at home or whatever else. they don’t need an excuse to treat us however they like.”

“that’s terrible.”

“it’s the world we live in.”

“what if we… what if we were a package deal?”

she raises an eyebrow, “what do you mean?”

“if they had to book us together. it’d make me feel better, if i could protect you somehow while we’re in there. that you have someone else there in case anything extreme happens. and…” you blush, thinking over your next words, “i know i have to… share you, but at least this way i can see what others do to you, so i still have some semblance of control over the situation.”

nayeon hums, pulling you in by the waist so you're no longer awkwardly hovering around her trying to think of how to get closer to her, "i can ask. that's a good idea y/n. and i'm sure lots of people would love to see two pretty girls getting it on." she jokes.

you blush, looping your arms around her neck loosely, playing with the hair at the back of her neck that has come out of her updo, "i don't- i've never- y'know..."

there's a hint of a smirk on her face, you're avoiding her gaze, "you've never...?"

you whine, knowing she's teasing you on purpose, pushing her away from you but she laughs, pulling you back into her and pecking you gently, "do you want to? there's no rush. i'm worried we may be taking things a bit fast but as long as you're comfortable i'm okay with whatever."

you look at her determinedly, "i don't think we can move too fast. i think we should take whatever we can get while things are good before the capitol tries to break us apart. i want to be with you, all of you, for as long as you'll let me."

nayeon smiles, leaning her forehead against yours, "i want to be with you for as long as you'll let me as well."

you reciprocate her smile, leaning in and pressing your lips against hers, hesitant, but loving. she responds immediately, one hand remaining at your waist and another coming up to rest on the crevice of your neck. you move easily against each other, it's comfortable, safe, you're both on the same wavelength, and nayeon treats you with utmost respect and adoration, ensuring you felt just as loved as she felt, keeping you grounded and at-home in her arms.

»┼)➝

it's another few days before something big happens. nayeon and you spend every minute wrapped up in one another, basking in the comfort and excitement of something new yet reminiscent of innocent, purer times.

that shatters completely when it gets to day 6 of the games.

adeline has managed to survive this long without coming into real contact with any of the other surviving tributes. nayeon has done most of the brunt work in receiving sponsorships and donations which you use strategically to lead adeline towards water sources or away from enemy tributes that may be nearing her location.

however, it seems the gamemakers had had enough of her cat and mouse game by the time there are only 5 tributes left, adeline, the boy from district 1, the two from district 2, and the girl from district 11 who managed to create her own water and food source in the barely repairable soil, turning it into her own farm using knowledge from her home district.

it was nearing the finale, and everyone in the audience knew it. the anticipation would put pressure on the gamemakers to bring out their final tricks, to lure all the tributes into one location to fight it out to the end.

that trick turned out to be a sandstorm in the night, blinding all the tributes, throwing off coordinates, destroying the girl from 11's farm, and forcing all the contestants to stumble blindly in the dark while the storm whipped around them harshly, sand cutting into skin and drying up lips while the cold chill of the desert night only made it even more difficult to find one's senses.

the girl from district 2 was smart, she used the sandstorm and her teammates' confusion to her advantage, taking the chance to stab the boy from 1, making him think it was the boy from 2, and letting them fight it out while she ran off, abandoning the career alliance that was inevitably going to break down towards the end of the games anyway. the boy from 2 ends up being able to defend himself well enough to deliver the finishing blow on the boy from 1, but he sustained fatal injuries in the process and died slowly and painfully in the storm while the sand lapped at his open wounds and his mouth gasped for water through mouthfuls of sand, wishing he was the one who was killed first.

when the storm finally dies down, the audience can see the carnage it has wrecked on the arena, three girls left, all within a 20 minute radius of one another. if it wasn't clear this was the endgame, it was definitely clear now.

the entire topography has been shifted, everything is now covered in sand. there would be no food, no water, the girls would either starve or thirst to death first in which case it would be a test of endurance, or find each other first and win the games to end their own form of suffering in living in this unlivable arena.

the girl from 11 seemed to want to take the former approach, burrowing herself under dunes of sand, digging for her farm and hoping the desert heat and lack of water would mirage her location into regular sand dunes while she hid until the final 2. the girl from 2 is set on the latter, going on the prowl immediately to find the remaining two contestants and claim her victory.

unfortunately for adeline, because the girl from 11 hid herself so well, it meant she came into contact with the girl from 2 first.

she puts up a good fight. everyone in the capitol is on the edge of their seats. as soon as the storm had cleared, nayeon and you had immediately sent adeline some supplies, water, a basic first-aid kit to tend to the wounds she had received earlier in the games, anything to let her know you were both still watching and keeping an eye on her, that she wasn't alone despite the immense loneliness and hopelessness she must have felt living in the desert for the last 6 days.

but even that wasn't enough to deal with the mental pressure of being in that situation for so long, thinking you actually have a chance of winning, of going home, she let her guard down, openly gulping down water while the girl from 2 crept up behind her.

adeline reacts just in time, throwing her bottle away and picking up the sword she had retrieved off a dead tribute's body earlier on in the game, swiping blindly in order to create some distance.

she manages to find her footing, standing on both legs, eyes zeroing in on her opponent who has already started lunging forward with her next attack. her weapon is longer, able to reach further, but adeline is tall and gifted with long limbs, able to maneuver herself out of the way before getting impaled by the pointy end of a spear, whipping around quickly to slice a deep cut in the girl's arm while it's still outstretched holding the spear.

the girl yelps out in pain, but quickly recovers, switching the spear to her non-dominant hand, jabbing forward without missing a beat, gritting her teeth in effort.

the crowd in the captiol is cheering, throwing popcorn, placing last minute bets, rowdier than ever after they couldn't clearly see the fight between the boys from districts 1 and 2 because the sandstorm had lowered visibility on the cameras. now, they could see every parry, every stab, every drop of blood that’s splattered onto hot, golden sand. the pure bloodlust is nonsensical.

adeline manages to block off each advance, but there's simply nowhere left to run or hide, everything that could be used has been covered by sand, there's only acres and acres of desert. so it makes sense when she loses her footing on the loose grains, falling onto her back and losing grip of her sword. the girl from 2 is quick to kick it away and out of reach, and adeline is tired, thirsty, and near delusional from being in the heat and arena for so long, that the ripping squelch that sounds out on speakers across the country as the girl from 2 shoves the end of her spear into adeline's chest, comes almost as a blessing, ending her pain at last.

the gamemakers are able to lure the girl from two to the girl from 11's hiding spot after that, and the final battle ensues, the girl from 2 rising up on top, bloodied and battered but grinning with the glee and pride only those in the career districts could have after killing and coming out on top over 23 other children.

you barely have time to mourn adeline's death, you and nayeon are both thrusted into interviews immediately, forced to watch replays and close-ups of the killing, to watch the life drain out of adeline’s eyes over and over again, asked for comments and messages to send back home, to congratulate the winner on becoming one of you, a murderer.

and even worse, when the day’s finally over and you can retire to your safe space in your apartment for your last night there, nayeon is called out for a premium customer, someone paying triple the normal fare to spend one more night with her before she goes back to her district. so you're left alone, watching repeated news coverage of the hunger games from start to finish, dolled up 'scientists' and gamemakers being brought on for interviews and time to analyse kills and strategies the tributes used, milking every drop of profit and entertainment out of the deaths of children not their own.

you'd watch something else but every channel on capitol television is talking about the end of the games, you switch every time your face, or your post-games interview comes up, cringing at the way you looked and spoke, feeling as if you betrayed your district for dishonouring adeline and julian's deaths by dragging them out for the enjoyment of people who never cared for them, wanting desperately to go home and find their parents and offer your condolences, and maybe sneak some of your victor rations to their families so they at least didn't have to worry about another death. you were determined to take care of all of your mentee's families, you know it's what you would've wanted if you had died in that arena.

by the time nayeon comes back, you've already settled in her bed, cuddled up on her side and taking in the scent she's left behind, the tv still playing in her room at a low volume.

you sit up immediately when you hear her come into the room, closing the door softly behind her. she looks at you and smiles defeatedly. "you look cute."

you blush, burrowing into her sheets more which only serves to widen the smile on her face, "are you okay?" you ask.

"i need a shower."

she doesn't say anything else. you remember the last time she came home this late, not having eaten anything and only wanting to get rid of the feeling of another person's hands on her body off of her. you nod, shy, letting her walk around collecting clothes and heading into the bathroom.

she doesn't bother closing the door. you appreciate the gesture. it's a dramatic change from the first time she had locked you outside her room unknowingly, to think she trusts you enough to leave the door unlocked in her most vulnerable state warms your heart. you hate the capitol for what they've done to her, what they'll continue to do to her. at least this was the last time she would have to do it alone, she had talked to higher ups in the capitol and gotten president snow himself to agree to your proposition, you'd hope your presence would at least ease some of the tension she felt during those sessions.

you hear the shower turn on, and you hesitate, thinking over your next moves carefully.

after some deliberation, you quietly move off her bed, padding to the bathroom and stripping off the pyjamas you had already put on when you were getting ready for bed.

you stand outside the fogged up door for a second, admiring her silhouette, but soon grow cold, opening the door gently and announcing your presence to not frighten her.

she turns, surprised, bar of soap in her hand, hair wet and squinting at you without her glasses or contacts on. she's adorable.

"y/n?"

"hi... is it okay if i join you?" your arms bracket your chest, suddenly shy even though she's seen all of you already.

she smiles, pulling you in under the stream of hot water, "of course. i'm sorry i'm not really feeling up to doing anything today-"

"no! i didn't- no i didn't come in with that intention i just... wanted to help you get clean."

she blinks up at you, water still running over her face and hair, and then she pulls you down into a wet kiss, arms still holding onto yours as you kiss her back sweetly.

you break away first, smiling and nudging your nose against hers, "turn around, i'll do your back first."

she follows, bending her neck down so the water doesn't get in her eyes, handing you the bar of soap she was holding.

you lather her back up, caressing the small scars and moles you had memorised. you had asked the story of each one, and nayeon had told you. your heart broke with each scar, most of them from her games, but some of them from rougher times with clients, others from when she was even younger, working the fields and factories back home. there were more from when she was young, but most of them were surgically removed or fixed when she was first fitted for her games, her stylists wanted her to look as young and as pure as her age suggested, hoping to entice sponsors either out of pity or admiration.

you rub her shoulders, work the knots in her back while you wash her, feel her relax under your touch.

when you get to her right thigh, you're extremely careful, and nayeon takes notice.

"it's okay. it doesn't hurt anymore."

you frown, rubbing gently over the largest scar on her body, the one she covered up most often and got in her finale fight in the games. "i know. i still want to be careful though."

she smiles, pecking your cheek while you concentrate on cleaning her to the best of your ability. she had opened up about how disgusted she would feel in her own body after she would come back from sessions with her clients, often spending an hour or more scrubbing away at her skin until it was red and irritated and hurt to continue before she finally felt clean. you were determined to make her feel loved, feel safe in her own skin, and do so without hurting her.

when you finally come out of the shower, you're quick to wrap her up in a towel first, patting the rest of her down dry and sitting her down on a stool, grabbing the hair dryer and brush.

she scolds you in the process, telling you you'll catch a cold if you don't dry yourself off first. you pout but do as she says, quickly drying yourself off and slipping into your pyjamas again.

then your hands are back at her hair, combing through gently with your fingers first, before turning on the hair dryer.

she watches you with a smile, her eyes crinkling upwards at the way your eyebrows furrow in concentration, drying each part of her head with meticulous attention.

when it's just slightly damp you turn it off, placing it back down and start to brush through her hair, wincing and apologising with each knot you work through. nayeon giggles, constantly reassuring you it was fine with each apology, but her reassurances do little to quell your concern.

it's quiet, peaceful in the bathroom, just the two of you.

"my mother used to do this for me when i was young."

"mine too."

"it feels nice."

"i'm glad."

"are you ready to go back?"

"as long as i have you."

"you'll always have me."

you meet her eyes in the mirror, "will your mother be okay with this?"

"you brushing my hair?" she jokes.

you whine, "you know what i meant. us."

she smiles, "yes. both my mother and my sister only want to see me happy. they know how much the games affected me, they're just glad i'm still alive."

"mine too." you repeat.

"…even if they weren't, you know i wouldn't stop wanting to be with you right?"

you blush again, easily affected by her, "i know."

she nods, satisfied, the both of you falling into an easy silence again.

you think this isn't too bad. living out the rest of your life with nayeon like this. she helped you forget all the bad stuff, but also reminded you of all the things you've been through together, you healed each other. in no other universe, no other situation, no other time, would you be able to find this kind of love with nayeon, and that little special thing the both of you share, it makes everything you've gone through and will go through a little more bearable.

[misahyochaeng]

“Insider”

(CEO!Mina x Fem!Reader🌧️🔞)

TW's// Smut, Dom!Mina, Sub!reader, CEO!Mina, Clubbing, One night stand, catching feelings, slight angst, Fingering, Bathroom sex, L bombing, Public area, exhibitionism, hair pulling, spanking, Mina is DESPERATE. Mentions of Nayeon and Sana, you and nayeon lowkey have some tension here and there but shh..//

—Flashback—

—"Nggh, M-Mina-nim.. fuck.” Your body shook the bathroom stall, your body gripping Mina's shoulders as you came undone on her fingers.

—"Hmm.. good girl." She helped you ride your high, helping you finish and clean up.

—"No hard feelings, ok?" Mina replied sternly, fixing your appearance and leaving you there at the bathroom stall.

No hard feelings.

—Flashback end—

Those harsh words echoed and panged through your mind. It had been almost a month since your one night stand with the vicious club owner, known for her dark aura and intimidating presence; yet you saw her in her most vulnerable moments, her digits inside you as she took care of the problem inbetween your legs.

You'd promise yourself to not fall in love, but your heart was saying otherwise. You kept stalking her social medias, keeping up with the company club, eyeing events she hosted and thinking about how nice it'd be to go and see her again, maybe experience her fingers inside you again.

—"Fuck.. ughhh i can't, i miss her so much." You complained to your friend Nayeon, head on her lap as she played with your hair, your hands scrolling aimlessly through Mina's feed.

—"Y/N, honey, come on.. It was just a fling, what's so awesome about, her?"

—"Nayeon, you don't get it.. it's THE Myoui Mina, imagine being able to spend the night with the most fucking rich woman in all Seoul? Shit, you'd be crazy like me too!!"

Nayeon rolled her eyes, pinching your cheeks softly as she continued to play with your hair.—"Alright, alright, dummy.. It's noticeable you're hooked."

You nod, getting comfortable in Nayeons lap as you continued scrolling.

You need to see her.

—

On the other hand, Mina was in her office, counting up big stacks of twenty dollar bills, legs resting on her desk as she went through the paper. —"Alright, Sana, here's your payment..."

Mina said as she handed the Japanese a rough stack of cash, her expression cold. —"And the rest i'll be keeping, as promised."

Sana checked and counted her bills, the ones she hardly worked for by dancing. —"Ma'am this is only—"

—"Am i getting a complaint, Minatozaki?" She snapped back, her voice cold and stern,

—"You got your fair share, you know i need to get my bills paid, darling." Mina stood up and leaned over her desk, lifting Sana's chin up and inching closer to her, lips barely apart as she stared at the latter in a rather dominating composure.

—"Is there any way i can increase my payment, Ma'am?" Sana asked, hand snaking to hold Mina's, which was still on her chin.

Mina thought for a bit, getting an idea and smirking. —"Oh i know a way, sweetheart."

———

—"Holy shit, Y/N!!" Nayeon yelped as she scrolled through her phone, you were laying next to her watching a movie, the scream making you jolt up, eyes going wide.

—"What the fuck!" She shut you up with a finger to your lip, sitting up properly as she began to explain, eyes scanning yours.

—"Okay, soo.. yknow my whole modeling thing with Tommy Hillfiger, right?" You nodded, eyebrows furrowed as she yapped on and on.

—"They're hosting a runway event and they invited me!," Nayeon then leaned closer to you, practically whispering in your ear

—"And they said i could bring a plus one, plus they're holding an after party in this club,” Nayeon said in a low sultry tone, trying to seduce and convince you, the action making you roll your eyes.

—"Come on! it'll be fun!" After a couple minutes of nagging, you finally gave in, borrowing some of Nayeons THF designer clothes and doing your makeup,

—"See, i knew you'd always look better in my clothing, i have a better fashion sense after all!" Nayeon replied cockily, taking off and changing her shirt infront of you.

—"Whatever, just hurry up so we can go," The only reason you agreed is because you needed to get your mind off Mina, almost a month and you couldn't get the image out of your mind, you needed to do anything possible to get that pit inside you out.

After a good ten minutes, Nayeon finally finished getting all dolled up, holding her handbag as she walked out with you to the door. —"Wait, wait! quick selfie before we go out, babe!"

You rolled your eyes and smirked, going over to the closet mirror you had near your apartment front door and posing, Nayeons hands snaking near the lower area off your waist as you both posed for a quick mirror pic, speeding off the door in a stat.

Nayeon was quick to post the pic, the entire car ride to the event just being some basic chatter.

———

Sana smirked as she got the notification on insta, seeing the two of you posing, she giggled as she liked the story. —"Bingo."

———-

As your driver finally settled near the event area, paparazzi drivers immediately started flashing you both, of course since you were going as Nayeons plus one; you had a reputation, sure, but not as big as your best friend's.

As the event finally started, you sat with Nayeon, her hand on your thigh as you both watched the fashion show, cameras occasionally flashing to you both, you watched with amusement as you admired all the outfits, whispering a funny comment or two in Nayeons ear when an outfits pattern or style was weird, both of you trying to hold in your laugh.

The event was fun, (and by fun you mean making fun of the weird outfits the models would walk in with), and it got your mind out of plenty of stuff; as you walked out, you took plenty of selfies with celebrities you admired, mostly flattering Nayeon in all her glory while you introduced yourself as her friend.

But now, the fun was actually about to start. As you pulled up to the club for the after party, it was full to the brim, butterflies in your stomach as the night began to settle.

The night was wild, filled with dancing, drinking, pouring shots in random peoples mouth and getting closer to Nayeon, the alcohol in your system making you touch, feel and grind all over your best-friend.

Little did you know, Sana, Mina's little minion and worker, was eyeing you the whole time.

Sana had been bringing over drunk girls for Mina to toy with, it's what they agreed on after all, the more the girls, the more payment increase for Sana. Sana was about to strike until you drifted off of Nayeon, whose lips were near you neck as you both danced together.

You slightly stumbled off to the bathroom, where only god knows what you were about to do.

That was until Mina bursted out of her office door, T-shirt collar messy as she wiped the messy lipstick on her face, a dark haired girl with bangs who looked like she just got ran over by a tornado leaving the room shortly after her, a hand trailing behind Mina's ass. —"Thank you for the service miss uhm.. Hirai.."

The girl blew a kiss as she ran off to party.

—“All good, Miss. Myoui?” Sana asked, head tilted as she gave the Japanese a cheeky smile.

Mina nodded, —"Just a quick bathroom break, i'll be back in a bit, bring the next girl over to my office ok?"

Mina walked off to the bathroom, hands in her pockets as she opened the door with her shoulders. You were leaning against the sink touching up your makeup until a loud thud made you snap your neck to the side, the sight of the girl you yearned so badly for making your jaw drop.

—"Myoui!!!?" You shouted, though it was quickly cut off by Mina's hand covering your mouth.

—"Shh, people aren't supposed to know i'm here, fuck." She replied sternly, the tone of voice taking you back a bit.

You both had a moment of silence before Mina spoke. —"It's been a while, no?"

You nodded, avoiding the latters gaze until she lifted your chin up with her finger, inching a bit closer. —"You okay?"

Mina replied, her cold facade disappearing and now being replaced with some light concern —"N-no it's just..."

You sighed before inching her hand away.

—"I don't think i can forget about last time, Mina.. I need that.." You paused for a brief moment as you stared at her, the bass of the music making the walls vibrate,

—"I need you."

Silence..

Mina barely wasted a second and latched onto you, hands holding your waist and ass as she bit your bottom lip, pressing her lips against yours in a deep kiss. You moaned out, Mina's cold hands reaching up to your shirt to cup and knead your breasts, pressing you against the wall, her thigh in-between your legs.

You bucked your hips for friction, grinding on her thigh as you whined against her.

—"Need it so badly, don't you, baby?" Mina teased, mouth trailing down to your neck, biting, leaving sloppy kisses, she was aggressive, desperate even; it was like you were her last fucking meal.

Mina groped your breast hard as she undid the button of your jean pants, shoving her hand down there to rub your clit through your underwear, a smirk pressing against your neck as your body jolted forward at the stimulation, mouth falling agape as you moaned out.

—"Good fucking girl." Mina gripped the skin of your sides harshly, her neck still on your neck, inhaling your scent, it was like an addiction, and she had fallen in deep.

Mina inserted two of her digits inside you, fucking you at an easy and steady pace, biting your earlobe as she kissed you roughly all over.

—“You need it so badly, don’t you baby?” Mina teased, mouth trailing down to your neck, biting, leaving sloppy kisses, she was aggressive, desperate even; it was like you were her last fucking meal.

You moaned loudly as she touched every single one of your weak spots, she knew what you liked and she’d do anything to please you.

The loud noise echoed through the bathroom, she pressed her lips against yours again, tongue exploring your mouth. —"Be quiet, needy girl, anyone can some in at any second yknow? See you being such a good girl for Miss Myoui, what would they think? Hm?"

You arched your back bucking your hips against her fingers, Mina's free hand reaching down to land three harsh smacks on your ass, kneading the area after, she was obsessed with your ass, and you knew it.

Mina's lips trailed down to your collarbone, marking the area. —"Don't wanna fuck anyone else after this, don't want YOU fucking anyone else, you're fucking mine, got it? This wet cunt is mine. Myoui Mina's fucking pussy."

You nodded endlessly, arms wrapping around her neck, you hid your face in the crook of it, biting her neck to suppress your noises.

—"Easy fucking girl." Mina spit back, her off hand just feeling you all over, sweat dripping down her forehead as she got you all messy for her.

—"Gosh, fucks sake Mina, i love you so fucking much."

Those words made Mina jolt up a bit, she would hear it a lot from all her different flings, but when it came out of your mouth, fuck, it was different. —"Yeah? Say how much you fucking love me, say it, needy girl."

Tears pricked at your eyes as you moaned out, telling her how much you loved her aimlessly, everything about her, how fucking obsessed you were with her. It struck a nerve in Mina, making her heart pang, she knew there was no hard feelings, but fuck.. why was she feeling this way.

She thrusted harder, hitting deep inside you as she felt your walls clench around her. —"Close, baby? Gonna cum for me? How about i take you home and treat you good after this?"

You nodded before pouring your juices out on the girls fingers, as she helped you ride your high, you pulled the girl closer into a hug and kissed her, your eyes teary. —"I'm sorry"

You apologized as you look into her eyes, her gaze softening, something you'd never seen before.—"It's.. Its okay.. Hey? I did promise id treat you? it's on me."

—"But what about—"

She was quick to reassure you, hands cupping your soft cheeks as she admired you with her gaze.

—"Don't worry about Nayeon, i've got it covered, trust me." As she said that, you gave in as she cleaned you up and took you out of the bathroom, eyeing Sana as she walked out with you, pinky's linked together.

You did good, Sana... You did good.

[dalsofile]

trust?

Nayeon discovers that her girlfriend, Y/N, has been hiding a serious illness, leading to a painful confrontation that threatens to break their relationship apart.

tags :: angst, illness, arguments

wc :: 1,571

cast :: nayeon, y/n

song :: waiting room - pheobe bridgers

Nayeon stands in the kitchen, her hands moving with practiced ease as she prepares dinner. The familiar sounds of sizzling vegetables and the rhythmic chop of the knife do little to calm the growing unease in her chest. You’re late—again. It’s been happening more frequently, and Nayeon can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

She glances at the clock, her worry deepening. Over an hour has passed since you were supposed to be home. Her phone sits silent on the counter, no response to the texts she’s sent. Anxiety gnaws at her, and she tries to push it down, telling herself that you’re just caught up at work, as usual. But a part of her knows that’s not the full truth.

Something has been off for months. She’s noticed it in the way you’ve been distant, the way your laughter doesn’t quite reach your eyes anymore. You’ve been coming home late, your face pale and tired, the dark circles under your eyes growing more prominent. Every time she tries to ask, you brush it off, claiming it’s just stress. But Nayeon knows you better than that.

The front door creaks open, and she feels a mix of relief and dread. She turns off the stove and moves to the entrance, forcing a smile as you step inside. You look exhausted, your shoulders slumped and your skin pale, as if all the life has been drained out of you.

“Hey, you’re home,” Nayeon says, trying to keep her voice light, though it trembles with worry. “I was starting to get worried.”

You offer a weak smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. “Sorry, got held up at work.”

Nayeon studies your face, her heart aching at how tired you look. She steps closer, reaching out to touch your cheek, hoping to offer some comfort, but you flinch away before she can make contact. The small movement stabs at her heart, a confirmation of the distance that’s grown between you.

“What’s going on?” Nayeon asks softly, her voice filled with concern.

“Nothing,” you reply quickly, too quickly, as you move past her towards the bedroom. “I just need to change.”

She follows you, her worry growing with every step. “You’ve been acting strange for weeks. You’re always tired, you’re late, and you never tell me where you’ve been. I’m worried about you.”

You pause in the doorway of the bedroom, your back to her. “I told you, I’m just stressed. Work’s been a lot.”

Nayeon hears the fatigue in your voice, but it doesn’t explain everything. “I know work is hard, but this feels different,” she says, her voice trembling. “I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

You don’t respond, and the silence is deafening. Nayeon’s heart pounds in her chest as she waits, hoping for some kind of reassurance. But when you don’t say anything, the fear she’s been trying to suppress bubbles to the surface.

“Please, don’t shut me out,” she whispers, taking a step closer, her voice pleading.

Your shoulders tense, and for a moment, Nayeon thinks you might finally open up. But then you sigh, shaking your head.

“I’m not hiding anything,” you say, your voice flat. “I’m just tired, Nayeon. Can we drop it?”

Her heart sinks at your words. She wants to believe you, but the emptiness in your eyes tells her something else entirely. She nods slowly, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Okay,” she murmurs, though it feels like a lie. “I’ll go finish dinner.”

You don’t say anything as you walk into the bedroom, closing the door behind you. Nayeon stands there for a moment, staring at the closed door, feeling the weight of everything unsaid between you.

As she turns to head back to the kitchen, something catches her eye. Your bag is lying on the floor, half-open, with a small bottle of pills peeking out. Nayeon hesitates, guilt pricking at her conscience as she considers going through your things. But the worry in her chest pushes her forward.

She kneels down and gently pulls the bag open, her breath catching when she sees the bottle of pills. Her hands tremble as she picks it up, turning it over to read the label. It’s a prescription she’s never seen before, and the name of the medication sends a chill down her spine.

She’s not a doctor, but she recognizes the name. The drug is used to treat a serious, chronic illness—something much more than just stress or fatigue. Her heart races as she tries to process what she’s seeing. You’ve been taking these pills, hiding them from her, hiding your illness.

“Y/N?” Nayeon calls out, her voice trembling with a mix of fear and anger.

The bedroom door opens, and you step out, your face going pale as you see the bottle in her hand.

“Nayeon, I can explain—”

“Explain?” Her voice shakes, tears welling up in her eyes. “Explain what? That you’ve been sick this whole time and didn’t tell me? That you’ve been hiding it from me?”

Your face crumples, guilt and regret etched in every line. “I didn’t want you to worry,” you say, your voice breaking. “I didn’t want to burden you with—”

“Burden me?” Nayeon’s voice rises, the anger taking over as she steps closer to you, her grip tightening on the pill bottle. “How could you think that? We’re supposed to be in this together. You don’t get to decide what I can or can’t handle. You don’t get to shut me out like this.”

Tears begin to stream down your face as you shake your head, looking more broken than she’s ever seen you. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I didn’t want you to feel trapped, like you had to take care of me. I thought I could handle it on my own.”

“Well, you can’t!” The words burst out of her, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions. “You’re not handling it, Y/N. You’re falling apart, and I’m watching you slip away from me, and I don’t even know why!”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice so small, so full of pain. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t enough, Y/N.” Nayeon’s voice shakes, the hurt and betrayal cutting deep. “You lied to me. You made me feel like I was going crazy, like I was imagining things. And now... now I don’t even know if I can trust you.”

The room falls into a heavy silence, the air thick with the weight of her words. You look at her, your face crumpling as the reality of what you’ve done sinks in.

“Nayeon, please,” you beg, reaching out to her, desperate to bridge the gap between you. But she takes a step back, shaking her head, her heart breaking at the sight of you so vulnerable, so lost.

“No,” she says, her voice firm even as tears blur her vision. “You don’t get to ask me to forgive you right now. You don’t get to make this okay. Not after what you’ve done.”

Your hand falls back to your side, and you swallow hard, tears streaming down your face. “I... I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared.”

“We could have been scared together,” she whispers, her voice barely holding together. “But now... now I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

The words hit you like a physical blow, and you almost collapse under the weight of them. The room is suffocating, filled with nothing but the sound of your ragged breaths and the unbearable tension hanging between you.

“I think you should go,” Nayeon finally says, her voice hollow, devoid of the love that once filled it. The words feel foreign on her tongue, but she can’t see another way out of the spiral you’re both trapped in.

Your breath hitches, your eyes widening with a fresh wave of panic. “Nayeon, please...”

“Just go,” she repeats, turning her back on you, unable to bear the sight of your shattered expression. “I need some time to think.”

You don’t move at first, as if frozen in place by the realization that you’ve truly hurt her, that you might have lost her. But then you take a shaky breath, forcing your legs to carry you toward the door. Each step is heavy, filled with regret and sorrow that you both know will linger long after tonight.

You reach the door, your hand grasping the handle as if it’s the only thing keeping you upright. You turn back one last time, hoping—praying—that she’ll stop you, that she’ll say something, anything, to make this right. But Nayeon stands with her back to you, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

With a sob of your own, you open the door and step out into the cold night. The door closes behind you, the sound echoing in your heart like the finality of something precious slipping away.

You walk away, the cool night air biting at your skin as tears stream down your face. You thought you were protecting her, sparing her the pain of knowing, but all you’ve done is push her away. The love of your life, the one person you thought you could protect by keeping your illness a secret, is now out of reach.

As you wander aimlessly, your thoughts a whirlwind of regret and anguish, you can’t help but wonder if you’ve lost

[cry4mina]

Take Me Back to Eden - Euclid - Part 7

Take Me Back to Eden Series Page

Angst/Fluffy Moments

Word Count: 12k

Summary: After the events of the last chapter, reader finds themselves in a spiral of self hatred as they wait for their beloved to wake up, unbeknownst to them - someone is lurking in the shadows.

TW: Hospitals, spiraling, big sads, talks of death, some happy moments!, knives, talks of guns, talks of abusive relationships, broken glass, aaaaaaand talks of drinking and cheating. I think that's everything?

AN: Two more parts after this one and the story will be complete! I feel like I say this all the time but I never really thought this story would evolve into the series that it is now and I'm so grateful for all your support and kind words along the way! <3 <3 I truly hope you all have a lovely evening! I'd love to hear your predictions on what you all think is going to happen next!

A sharp jolt crackling through your chest wakes you violently, like lightning crawling through every vein cardiovascular system, forcing your eyes open. The fluorescent lights shine down on you, the beeping of machines, someone crying, and the rocking movement overwhelm your senses.

“We got her back! Okay, Y/n! You need to stay with me now, okay?” concern laced in the voice as that spoke to you.

Your vision is still blurred, eyes barely opening when you use as much energy as you can to keep yourself from passing out again. A familiar voice breaks through the machine’s whirring.

“Is she going to be okay?!” Momo is frantically barking at the EMT, seemingly trying to get information from him but unable to hold back the panic in these circumstances.

The rocking of the larger vehicle wakes you up just a little more but not enough to be full cognizant, bringing nausea along with it. Body unmoving as your eyes fight to keep the sliver of sight they have when your brain flashes the last few memories you had before you passed out…

Nayeon, with a smoking gun in her hand pointed past you.

Mina with crimson running down her torso and going pale…

“Mina?” croaked out between heavy breaths from the oxygen machine placed on your face.

“Wait!” Momo snaps at everyone who’s speaking around her, you hear silence again.

“Y/n?” her hand fills yours, feeling her lean into you to make sure she can hear what you’re saying. It must be pretty bad if she’s reacting this way.

“Where…is…Mina?” gravelly and with everything you could muster.

Momo sniffles, you can feel her head down and it on your arm. She sighs heavily before bringing her head back up, aware that she might not have time to fully explain what’s happening. The unanswered question haunts you for a moment.

“She’s on her way to the hospital. You both lost a lot of blood…they don’t know….they don’t know if she’s going to make it, Y/n. She was…shot in a pretty severe place…” tears spilling from her, sobbing at the information she had.

Tears roll down your face, reviving the crystalized blood coating your skin from the circumstances you were just in, dripping and reigniting it’s liquid form as it spills down around you.

If Mina…doesn’t survive…

The dread consumes you instantly. Would it be your fault if she didn’t make it? You were the one who was with her, you were the one who was supposed to protect her, but was it enough? Trying got you here…trying got you in this ambulance with both you and her getting rushed to the emergency room.

How could you stomach losing Mina like this? At the hands of one of her best friends and over…you?

“Nayeon…” whispered through the sadness and the anxiety filled thoughts that consumed every cell in your body.

The silence between her sniffling tells a lot, but not enough.

“Momo…do the police have Nayeon?” a little more aggression out of you, even in this state. You want to make sure that she can’t touch you or Mina ever again.

“Where is she?!” hissed out in an anger that Momo has never seen from you, even in the state of hurt you were in, the rage permeated the vessel you were trapped in.

The only two things you could feel in this moment: Fear and Fury. They walk hand in hand through your mind while patiently waiting for someone to answer your question.

Machines around you start furiously beeping again. Eyes still fighting to stay open but you’re so exhausted that staying awake feels impossible with the frames of darkness around your vision.

“Ma’am, I understand that you want to speak with her but we need to make sure she stays awake.” the EMT started putting needles in your arms.

“Get the crash cart ready! We might lose her again!”

Again?

Momo is in hysterics, understandably so. Wondering how much she witnessed, it would be hard for anyone to see someone they cared about in the position you were in. Imagining the lasting impact of finding the mess of the room that it all happened in, you sigh as the tears keep flowing.

All of this is too much. Too much on everyone around you.

Too much on Mina.

Too much on you.

You're slowly drifting into a dream-like state when what little blood you have runs absolutely cold, the ice that froze hell over ransacks your veins expeditiously. Eyes flying open as your heart pumps faster and faster, a chemically impersonated panic attack brought on to keep you awake.

“Y/n, listen to me. We are on the way to the hospital and it’s imperative you stay awake. I gave you an adrenaline shot so your heart might race. This is normal. Okay?” his voice is fading in and out of your range of hearing.

“So…tired…” breathlessly escapes you.

“Y/n, we are almost there, just please listen and stay awake.” Momo’s sobbing sounds physically painful and drenched in fear.

Fighting as much as you can, you try to count the lights to stay awake, forcing yourself to focus on anything that wasn’t the weight of your eyes or the pounding in your chest.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Suddenly, you’re pulled feet first out of the vehicle, continuing to try and count things as your eyes fight you.

Vision goes as black as the night sky above you while you’re being pushed through the hospital, feeling the gurney bumps over the tracks of the automatic doors you hear glide open.

“We need 2 liters of O negative, stat!” shouted from your right hand side.

Your hearing is fading, replaced by the ringing that you got familiar with when the gun went off. A wave of panic swings through you, hands going up to reach for anything you could grab. This takes all of your energy and you fall into a deep calm sleep.

—

Void. Darkness. Silence.

Familiarity seeps in through your pores as your eyes calibrate to the surroundings, deja vu reflecting what once was in your mind, yet again. The same small metal table, the same figures sitting around it.

Sighing, unable to hear the huff of your wit’s end, you start to walk. Knowing exactly who the figures are before you even approach the table. Cautiously walking towards the shadows sat, almost waiting for something. Maybe, someone?

Both turning their head at you, the faces exactly who you expected, Mina and Nayeon. Mina smiles at you, the glow of her illuminating the endless ether. You have to stop moving to fully take in the essence of her.

Long dark wavy hair that frames her face and torso, welcoming eyes that melt you in the warmth she radiates, that small smile she is giving to you, and the way she gracefully reaches her hand towards you…peace.

The calm washes over you, just like the last time, as you approach her. The other figure at the table shows itself again to be Nayeon, eyes black, the smell of sulfur, the rage emitting off of her skin and the possessiveness that she always carried try to overshadow the care that was brought by Mina.

“Oh, Y/n, it’s great of you to join us.” ethereally leaves Mina’s lips.

“Yes, isn’t it pleasant to have my personal whore here?” hiss between Nayeon’s razor sharp teeth, contorted voice layered in anger and hatred.

“Don’t.” stern and powerful as it leaves the angel's lips.

A bright stream of light beams down from the nothingness, penetrating Nayeon’s chest cavity. She wails out into the void, breathing heavily.

“Do you think you can just take her from me? She’s my favorite piece of meat!” arms lengthening, mouth largening as Nayeon’s body contorts into a tall, lanky, sharp looking demon. Horns growing and snapping into shape, hooves clomping down into the cement harshly as she stakes her claim.

Mina is unaffected by this gesture of power, sending another few beams of light through Nayeon, setting what they touch on fire. Nayeon screams, loud enough to shake the table and it’s settings, rumbling them onto the floor.

Bloodied barbed wire shoots up from the floor, alive in its movements as it wraps around Nayeon’s wrists, slamming her into the ground and tightening with every second. More barbs shoot up and fix themselves around her torso, pulling her even further into the floor.

A demonic shriek can be heard through the hellfire and brimstone, Nayeon crumbles into stone before you, leaving nothing you coated in this dust and ash.

Mina is calm, cool, and collected. Standing up and yanking on your hand, you swing around and land chest first against Mina.

It starts drizzling pure clean water, Mina just holding you close while you look up to observe the rain falling from nothing. It starts picking up, washing the dust off your body.

Both of you soaking wet, standing in this mysterious rain after the monster has been slayed - there’s only one thing left to do in this fairy tale.

Boldly grabbing the sides of her face and bringing her lips to yours. Her eyes were surprised at this gesture but reciprocated the moment of passion before pulling back.

“Wake up” barely over a whisper and in a voice that isn’t hers.

“Please, Y/n, wake up!” Momo?

“WAKE! UP!”

“Don’t worry.” in her own voice, echoing against the walls of your brain before the light around Mina shines its brightest, consuming both of you.

—

Blinking ferociously, your eyes open to bright fluorescence hanging above you.

“Oh thank GOD” Momo throws herself on you before you can even understand what is happening, you wince at the weight of her unsure of what your wounds were.

“Sorry, Sorry!” She hugs you tightly before removing herself from you. Dahyun is seated, allowing you time to get your bearings before coming over to you and placing her hand in yours.

“We are so happy to see you’re awake!” smiled lightly, eyed red and swollen.

She has been crying…

“Where…is…Mina?” croaked out through dry lips and barely any energy as the worry for her consumes you.

“She’s in surgery…” Momo sniffles at the words she spoke.

There was an uneasiness about the way her voice wavered.

“…what did the doctors say?”

“The bullet penetrated her lung…they’re going in to remove it…She lost a lot of blood, Y/nnie…There’s a good chance that she might not…make it.” choking on the last few words as she forced them out.

The droplets fall from your eyes when you register what she’s said…Mina might not make it?

Thinking about the ambulance, thinking about how Momo gave this information to you there as well but it didn’t really connect in your brain until now…This event of Mina getting injured was avoidable…If you just kept your distance from her when Nayeon went crazy, maybe she wouldn’t be where she is….Maybe Mina would’ve been safe from her…

The pit of your stomach flips, all the stress of what happened has come back full force and is slamming all of your fear back into your chest, making friends with the pounding of the headache you have.

“Nayeon?” puffed out of your weak body, wondering if shew as far away and in police custody.

“Is she awake?” an all too familiar voice breaks the moment.

You look up to see who it was, a bouquet of lotus flowers covering the face of the person. They are placed down on the small table at the foot of the bed and the person steps out from behind the display, revealing herself to be Ms. Park Jihyo.

Tensing immediately, you struggle to lift yourself up higher in a move of defense. Momo sees this and puts her hand on your shoulder.

“Just hear her out, you might be surprised at what she says.” smiling and nodding before heading out of the room with Dahyun.

Jihyo stands in the room, looking at the ground before she grabs one of the uncomfortable foldable chairs from the walls of the room and scoots it closer to you.

You try to keep a straight face in her presence but can’t help but shed a few tears as this human who knowingly hurt you sits in front of you, elbows on her knees and hands together as she tries to plead her case.

“I’m sorry, Y/n…I know that this is a lot and has been since everything came out but I think I need to tell you what happened the night that rock flew through your window.” she makes eye contact with you, showing a serious demeanor as she shifts back into her seat trying to find some sense of comfort in the discomfort of this situation.

“Nayeon was…violently upset when we ran into you and Mina at the cafe. She was punching the dashboard of my car the entire way to your apartment…she still had your location. I didn’t like that she did that but honestly…” Jihyo’s voice cracked, eyes reflecting something you had never seen in her before back to you as she forced herself to make eye contact through the discomfort that sat on her chest.

“…I have always kind of…been scared of her, you know? Like she has this intensity that’s just really hard to say no too and when she was raging about seeing you and Mina together…I just didn’t know what to do so I listened to what she said. We went to your apartment and we watched you and Mina walk in together…Nayeon got…quiet and told me to leave so I did.”

Fear, her eyes were reflecting fear.

Jihyo is visibly shaken and remorseful through reliving the events as she spoke them to you, rubbing her hands up and down her face aggressively to smear the intensity of the conversation off.

“We went back to the apartment you both lived in together…I tried to calm her down by massaging her shoulders but she…got angry when I called her “baby”...she told me I would never be you and then she pushed me to the floor…a-a-ggressively.” Shuttering through the dread that was weighing her down.

“After that…Nayeon just got up and left.” Choking on her words as the spilt from her lips.

Jihyo was practically sobbing while sharing the trauma she had endured that you were unaware of. Knowing full and well that Nayeon was an abuser to you, the only moment you really thought she could be a monster to Jihyo as at the cafe…when Jihyo was crying behind her as she tried to seduce you again…in front of her.

She had been affected by this situation just as much as you had. Her eyes hold similar pain that yours did when you and Nayeon first split. It was hard to see, even on someone you were upset with.

“When she came home…things happened…and the cops showed up. She fake cried and told them that I made her go with her, that I was violent and controlling of her. She said that I was the one who had the idea…I tried to tell them it wasn’t me, but they didn’t listen because she was hysterically bawling her eyes out and acting like I had threatened her. They took me to jail after that…she called me after I got bailed out and told me that she was breaking up with me because she was going to exterminate the problem…so she could be with you.” completely serious in her tone, even through the trembling of her voice.

“So you called the police?” still raspy in the way you asked, the puzzle pieces have finally found their place.

“Yes. I called the police and Momo to tell them what was going on…I tried to call you and Mina but neither of you answered…Y/n, I’m so sorry. I really am. I truly loved the friendship we had and I don’t know if we can ever get back to that but I'm very willing to try to fix this…that time we spent at the park, everything I said, I meant. I never wanted to hurt you in this. I just felt so stuck.” sobbing as she makes her apology, genuinely distraught about all of this.

“Hyo…I need to know how this actually started. How did you and her end up…together?” a small ache in your chest reminds you of the confrontation in the elevator. The anger and hatred you felt then was still present to some degree.

“The drunk one night stand part was true…but it was before she met you.” her eyes down at the ground, a semblance of a smile lingers on her face at the nickname you called her.

“She told me when you met and said that she had no intention of it being serious with you. We went on tour and Nayeon couldn’t put her phone down, always texting you and calling you on Facetime… I knew that it was something serious then but when we got back and had that party, it was just different.” making eye contact with you again, voice quivering while she’s holding back even more tears.

“That’s why I called you that night…because I thought you were who she wanted and not me. I just wanted her to be happy. But when we were out of town…she would purposefully ask to be roomed with me. We would get drunk, it would happen again and we would just pretend like it didn’t.”

“My feelings got involved pretty early on and I told her but she was insistent on being with you and I respected that. She would tell me that you broke up and then when we got back, she would say you were together again.”

“Jihyo, this is the first and only time we ever broke up…” whispered to her in the smallest breath, hoping she wouldn’t hear you or at least wishing you didn’t have to tell her the whole truth.

It was hard to see her like this, baring her soul for you to see, dripping in guilt and anger.

“I know that now. I know that she was using me for when you weren’t around. But you can see why I had a hard time getting away from her…and she wasn’t ever as violent as she was the night that we saw you at the cafe…I think that’s when it truly clicked for me that she was dangerous.” Jihyo’s breathing is picking up, she’s on the verge of a panic attack when you see the blood under her nails and knuckles that were bruised.

“Jihyo…what happened to your hands?” whispered in fear of the answer.

“I came to the banquet…when I heard that first shot and saw everyone rushing out of the building, I saw Momo trying to get the members out a side door. We saw each other and I pointed to the room. She ran over and we went in together.” her voice is trembling as she tells you more of what happened.

“When I saw you passed out in Mina’s arms…and what Nayeon did to Mina, I got so angry.” She’s in hysterics now, trying to steady her own breathing and self regulate so she can tell you the information you were owed.

“I tried so hard to get her to stop…and put the gun down…I don’t even know where she got that fucking gun. I punched her to try and get her to stop but she just kept going…I got the gun from her, and was trying to fight her off but she tackled me to the floor. She got on top of me and choked me…I couldn’t get her off me, Y/n.”

Jihyo is now sobbing, trembling and looking very nauseous. Completely drowning in herself when she finally releases the memory that is burnt in her brain for the rest of her life.

“Y/n…I shot her.”

“What?”

“I…shot Nayeon…”

“…Jihyo, you shot Nayeon?”

“It was the only way I could stop her…she would’ve killed me if I didn’t…I feel so guilty. I feel so fucking guilty.”

Jihyo’s face falls into her hands, violently sobbing at the fact that she killed someone she loved, even if that love wasn’t returned.

The sting of this information was something incomprehensible, a grief blending inside your torso, the gut wrenching twist of your stomach, ruining the home where the butterflies once lived and flourished for Im Nayeon.

Your ex-girlfriend of three years.

The girl you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with.

She’s just…gone.

Even with everything that happened between you and Nayeon, you are having a hard time wrapping your thoughts around her being dead. Barely only finding out about how crazy she actually was, the version of her that was sweet and loving still saturates the predatory acts and violent tendencies she exposed to everyone in the end.

Shifting up in your seat weakly, you rotate your legs off the side of the bed. Bare toes touching the cool ground as you try to stand up. Feeling every single bruise and wound left in the altercation. Jihyo stands with you, putting her arms out so she can help you balance yourself.

Without hesitation, you pull her in for the hug you both needed. Crying in each others arms as you both try to process the death of your abuser.

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I’m so fucking sorry.” wept into your shoulder.

“I am too, Jihyo. I am too.” sniffling while you release all irritation you had with Jihyo. She was a victim of Nayeon, just like you. Maybe there was hope for that trust had, to be built again.

Maybe.

“Y/n? Can we come in?”

Both of you turn to look at her, when the entirety of Twice minus Nayeon and Mina walk in with sorrow in their eyes and more flowers in their hands. Worry being on the forefront of their minds. We are all grieving this loss, we are all fearful of the future.

“Jihyo…”

“Yes, Y/n?”

“Thank you.”

Momo is smiling behind the crowd, holding Dahyun’s hand and watching as the girls come in and sit scattered around the room. Jihyo still in the chair near the bed you crawled back in, Sana sitting at the end of that bed across from her, Chae in the big comfortable chair by the window, Jeongyeon is standing and looking a little anxious and Tzuyu pulls up a seat next to Jihyo.

“How long was I asleep?” not knowing what day it is, or what time it was. The sun seems to be either rising or setting and you can’t tell which.

“About 12 hours.” Momo chimes in from the doorway, checking her phone to see the time. She’s got a weird air about her, something is off.

“Momo, what’s wrong?” knowing she’d normally be as close to you as possible in this situation.

“I’m waiting for a phone call.” anxiously blurted across the room.

Everyone is silent with their heads down, whatever this was putting Momo on edge was eating at everyone in the room.

“The police don’t speak Japanese here…so I had to call Mina’s parents…” another piece of your heart breaks off for every syllable of the sentence.

Her parents…her brother…

Dread sinks your heart down to your stomach, weighing like cement in your gut. Skin prickling into a million stipples, remembering the last moment you saw Mina.

Tears rolling down her cheeks.

Blood spilling from her chest.

Then darkness.

Unable to help yourself, you start sobbing uncontrollably.

This was all so overwhelming, trying to process everything that had happened. Nayeon with the gun pointed at you, the person you were with for so long had not only threatened your life, but wounded you beyond what you thought possible.

Weeping as you think about what she had put Mina through. Mina just wanted to be there for you and you found some safety, Nayeon tried to take that away and might’ve been successful…

The doctor walks into the room, looks around and sees all these people around you crying with you and his eyes widen, intimidated by the 8 people who peered up at him as he entered.

“Uh…I can come back later…if you’d prefer.” raising the clipboard by the side of his head, pointing it back towards the door nervously.

“No no, it’s okay. You can come in.” waving him into the room so he can say what he needs to.

“Is it okay if I talk about your medical diagnosis in front of…uhm…” gesturing to the girls scattered around the room.

“Yes, that’s completely fine.” assuring him that he could continue.

“Okay, Ms. Y/n…so we are looking at a concussion, you’ve got 16 stiches on your scalp, 3 broken ribs, and a few lacerations and bruises. I suspect you’ll be sore for a while but you should make a full recovery. You should thank whoever kept the pressure on the back of you head…you had an artery grazed in the…incident and that pressure saved your life.“ The Doctor hesitates as he reads off the clipboard, it looks like he’s wondering if that was the right thing to say.

“I’ve written a few prescriptions for the pain and swelling, but you should be good to be released within the next few hours. Do you have any questions for me?” clicking his pen and putting his clipboard down by his side.

That’s a lot of information to digest.

“I do but I don’t think you’ll be able to tell me…” softly stated back to him.

“I take it it’s about your friend? The one you came in with?”

Nodding your head as the tears fall again, you’re too worried about Mina to not try to get some information out of him.

“I can’t really tell you anything specific without permission, I would need permission from the emergency contact to do so.” the Doctor sighs,

“You have my permission.” Momo raises her hand from across the room, nodding to him, respectfully.

The Doctor nods his head back, his body language shifts into something less pleasant.

“Ms. Mina is out of surgery and the surgeon over seeing her said that it went very well.” He moves his weight to the other leg, crossing his arms and looking at the floor.

“She lost a lot of blood…even with a blood transfusion she wasn’t very stable, we revived her a few times on the table.”

Everyone is frozen at this news, breath held and the whirring and beeping of the machines around you is the only thing keeping all of you present.

“She had a punctured lung from the bullet wound in her chest. We did manage to remove the bullet and patch her up just fine, but with her being unstable…we had to put her in a medically induced coma.”

Everyone gasps in unison, the worry behind everyone’s eyes reflects the deep love of a friend and loved one, who is now in a state of deep sleep for an unknown amount of time.

Jihyo takes over now, directing the conversation and asking what we all wanted to know.

“When will she wake up?”

“Well, that depends…we have her on a 24 hour watch to make sure she can stabilize on her own. She’s on a ventilator to insure proper oxygen intake. Once she stabilizes, we can wake her.”

The Doctor looks around the room and sees many sets of distraught eyes looking back at him.

“I know this is a lot of information, but rest assured we are doing everything we can. I’ll give you some space, but Miss Y/n, I’ll have the nurse bring in your release paperwork soon.” He turns out of the room, swiftly walking to where his next patient was.

It’s silent, everyone can’t seem to wrap their heads around what is happening, yourself included. Everything that happened to Mina would’ve never taken place if you hadn’t hung out with her. If Nayeon hadn’t seen you together she would be okay…

Sobbing quietly to yourself, the girls look at you with saddened eyes, Momo knowing exactly what’s going through your head. Walking up to you and sitting down, she wraps an arm around you, letting you cry openly on her shoulder.

Everyone follows suite, walking up and wrapping their arms around everyone to create a group hug that all of you desperately needed.

“Please, let me have some space.” quietly said into Momo’s neck.

“What do you mean, Y/n? We are all here for you.” confusion in her words, cocking her brow at you to try and understand what you meant.

“This is all my fault.” whispered through the cascade of bitter hatred for yourself that spilled from your eyes.

“No, it isn’t your fault Y/n! This is Nayeon’s fault.” Sana insists, mad that you would even think that you had anything to do with the outcome of this.

Believing that was something you would never do.

“Y/n, it’s so obvious that you care about Mina…You would never intentionally put her in harms way.” Jihyo rubs your shoulder trying to ease you of the mind set that was turning your brain into a web of connections that was weaved in hatred for yourself and Nayeon.

“If you and Nayeon had never seen us at this cafe, it would’ve never happened…I should’ve just ordered in that night. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” choking on your tears, coughing, and wincing at the searing pain that erupted from the contractions of your muscles around your broken ribs.

The feeling accumulated from everything that happened poured out of you like steaming lava, burning and aching your chest as the rage of another thing you care about possibly being ripped out from underneath you catches fire under your heart.

Momo is holding you against her, rocking you and trying to comfort you as Dahyun ushers the other girls out into the hallway to let you have this moment.

“Hey, hey. Look at me…” Trying to catch your eyes as they drift to the floor.

“…I said look at me, Y/nnie!” Momo grabs your faces and forces you to look at her, tears heavily coating your cheeks as your eyes blur at the pressure you’re putting on yourself to hold yourself accountable for nothing done wrong.

“You didn’t do anything. Nothing. Not a single thing to deserve any of this. None of this is your fault. Not even close.” pulling you back in immediately for another hug that sucks the life out of you.

Mourning the memory of a Nayeon that never existed and mourning what Mina is going through just from being too close to you…It was too much for you to handle in the state you were in. Physical and emotional wounds compounding into a broken person being held up by those around you.

Just as you’re about to speak, Momo’s phone rings. She let’s go of your hug in a panic to look to see who it is.

“Shit, I have to take this. I’ll be right back.” jumping up off the bed to step out of the room, her eyes brimming with tears as she answers and steps away.

Alone with your thoughts, you think back to how safe Mina made you feel and how unsafe she was when she was with you. How could you have allowed this to happen? Why weren’t you shot instead of her?

A nurse walks in while you’re lost in these thoughts.

“Alright Ms. Y/n, will you please sign these release papers? I’ve brought your medications in this bag so you should be all good to go home. The doctor suggests plenty of rest until your ribs heal in 2-6 weeks.” cheerfully beaming at you like you hadn’t just been through the most traumatic event of your life.

How could someone be so…sunshine at a time like this?

Signing the documents she brought you quickly, she points to a bag that hung off the side of one of the folding chairs.

“Your friend, Ms. Minatozaki, brought you a change of clothes…what you wore to the event is considered evidence now…You are free to change and go home.” The nurse triple checks your paperwork and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her, leaving you to get changed.

Standing up, wobbling as you gain your balance and wincing at your weight of your own body. Gripping the chair that Jihyo left next to your bed, you grab the bag and tug out the clothes that she brought for you.

Knowing that Momo was the only one with a spare key to your apartment, you knew that Sana would have gone and done exactly what she said to do. Your favorite pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that looked unfamiliar…it’s not one you recall.

Picking it up, you pull the arms to the side and take a good look at the sweater.

“A catholic school in Japan?” confused at the lettering on the sweater, you lay it on the chair and slip on the pair of sweats.

Reaching down slowly to grab the hoodie, you lift your arms up - trying not to cause further damage to yourself and cautiously let it glide down into you.

As the fabric passes over your face, you take in the smell and instantly know who it belongs to.

Mina.

Lifting the neck of the sweater, you take a long inhale of her scent and a calm washes over you that you had become accustom to.

“I wish you were awake.” softly spoken to yourself, wiping a tear from your cheeks with the sleeve.

Momo comes through the door again, her eyes wide when she sees the sweater.

“That must have been Sana’s doing…” a small chuckle as she sees you’re dressed.

“Are you ready to go home?”

“I’m not going home.” pushing past her to get to the hallway.

“Y/n, you need to rest.” concern lays thick in the words as she cocks her head at you, seemingly frustrated at your lack of cooperation.

“She didn’t leave me…I’m not leaving her.” taking a slow step to not lose your footing.

Momo watches as you slug down the hallway to sit with the other girls who are patiently waiting for Mina to wake up. Sana smiles up at you when you sit next to her, instinctively putting her arm around you to support some of your weight.

“Thank you for this.” tugging on the front of Mina’s hoodie, trying to smile up at her but you end up biting your lip to hold in the tears.

“Sana…”

“Yeah, Y/nnie?”

“I’m scared.” the breathed statement is so quiet that’s it’s a miracle she heard it.

Leaning in to hug you, she tightens as much as she can without hurting you. Both of you have tears dripping down you face - sharing the moment of fear with each other and some how strengthening the bond that was already in place.

—

Days pass like it’s nothing. Sitting still in that same hospital chair while the world goes on around you. No sleeping, no eating…simply waiting for the doctors to say anything about Mina and her state.

Food is offered to you at every meal, you decline it. The nausea of the unknown clouds your stomach and the idea of any flavor makes you sick. You can only focus on Mina.

Momo walks up and sits down next to you, she rubs your back and you snap out of the dissociative state you sat in for days on end. The trance breaking leaves you realizing how much time had gone by and how much you had been neglecting yourself.

“Hey, come with me?” offering her hand to you and leading you to the room where Mina was.

Two older people, seemingly her parents are sitting in the room across from the bed where Mina sleeps, with tears streaming down their faces.

The man looks up at you, standing and then bowing to you - you return the bow as best as you can, before he starts saying something in Japanese to Momo and then looking at you.

“He wants you to know that he’s seen you sitting outside…he wants you to sit in with him and Mrs. Myoui from now on.” Dr. Myoui says something else to Momo and she translates the same.

“He knows about you and Nayeon, he is really sorry that this happened to you and wants you to know that he doesn’t blame you. “ Momo’s voice cracks as he begins speaking again, he seems to get teary eyed as he continues on, sniffling and clearing his throat as he tries to stay strong.

“He says that Mina had spoken about you…and that she really cares for you. Judging the state you are in, injuries and all, it seems that you really care about her too…and he wants you to be here with them because it’s what she would’ve wanted.”

Stepping up to Dr. Myoui, your jaw quivers trying to hold the tears inside but you can’t help it. He leans in and hugs you gently, all you can do is weep in his arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so-sorry!”

Momo translates it and he offers reassurance that Momo translates for you.

“Please go home and eat, get some sleep and when you come back we will be waiting for you here, okay? If anything happens, I’ll call you.” Half translated and half just an instruction from Momo.

“Thank you.” Releasing from the hug, Mina’s mom stands to offer you a hug, you accept the warm gesture happily.

Mrs. Myoui holds you tightly before pulling back from the hug and rubbing your upper arms.

Catching your eye contact before your head could fall to the floor, she wipes the tears off your cheeks- even with her own falling. A wordless exchange of affection that was a sign of acceptance and care, even her parents were amazing. You can see where she gets it from.

Momo puts her hand on your back, guiding you out of the room.

“Can we go to you and Dahyun’s house instead? I really don’t want to go to that apartment right now…” looking down at the ground while you walk as fast as your body would allow.

“Of course.” patting your back lightly and leading you to the exit from the hospital.

—

When you get to the house, the dogs scramble to greet you. Boo and Dobby come toppling over each other to get their love and affection. Momo goes into the kitchen and you go to the guest bathroom to take a shower.

Being anywhere but at the hospital leaves you feeling guilty, unable to cope with the idea of Mina waking up before you could get back. It makes you nauseous.

The one who accentuated your sense of self after all the trauma Nayeon left behind…she meant so much to you in such a short amount of time - how could you feel anything but shame and guilt?

Showering in your condition was difficult. Physically, mentally, emotionally…it was almost unbearable. Watching as the water as it revives the dried blood from your scalp and carrying down the drain, you relive the silent scene of Mina getting shot by Nayeon over and over again.

Standing in the hot shower and letting the water rinse you, you can’t imagine what would happen if you closed your eyes. What horrific scenes would play on your eyelids while you tried to rest? That and the anticipation of new about Mina kept you from resting in anyway, not even able to relax your body and unclench your back.

Stepping out of the shower now feeling better as you were clean, putting on a pair of jeans and Mina’s hoodie after toweling off, you are consumed with guilt and riddled with shame at the fact that you were here with Momo and Dahyun…and Mina was still in that same bed sleeping against her will just to fight to stay alive.

Walking out into the kitchen, you see that Momo had made you a plate of your favorite food. Her and Dahyun sit at the table and wait for you to come sit with them.

Eating in silence, there’s nothing really to say. All of you are worried about Mina…though they are also worried about you.

You haven’t eaten in days and you were just playing with your food, rolling the array of delicacies around and barely tasting any of it.

“Y/n…I know there is a lot going on right now, but you need to eat something so you can heal properly and fuel yourself.” Dahyun breaks the silence with a slice of care, unintentionally adding to the remorse.

“We care about you and so does Mina…she would want you to eat…”

Jaw tensing, you zone out at the sound of her name, triggering the events to play back through your mind like a film reel that would never stop spinning. Looping over it’s self in complete silence.

“Y/n?” nudging your shoulder, Momo sees your eyes focus back on her.

“It should have been me…” softly before standing up and walking right out the front door, leaving your phone and everything you were truly feeling on the table.

Hearing Momo and Dahyun yelling your name, you just keep walking down the street towards the hospital.

—

Overcast skies drear over your head as you walk towards downtown towards the hospital. There wasn’t much movement on the streets even in the evening.

Unaware of how time is passing, one foot in front of the other takes you far. Without your phone you had no clue what time it was or if anyone was trying to get ahold of you. Regret pangs your stomach when you realize that Mina might have woken up in this time…you should’ve brought your phone with you, but it’s too late to turn back now.

It had to be early afternoon, assumptions made from the light that seeped through the fluffed up grays that block the suns view - the outside grey matching the grey that was alive in your chest, molting into a virus that would infect the rest of you as time goes on - until your own ray of sunshine woke up.

Thoughts of Mina cloud your every waking moment, reminiscing about the last few days spent together and how she made you feel. The stark contrast between what she is and what Nayeon turned out to be made your shattered heart sting as the pieces dug into your chest, piercing your flesh in the sharpest way.

Tears brim in your eyes, threatening to spill over as you cross the street. A car comes out of no where, pulling up to you. The back window rolls down and a familiar voice shouts at you.

“Y/n!”

Turning around, you see Chaeyoung hanging out of the back of the car waving you down.

“Are you going to the hospital?”

Nodding your head gently, the energy that you would normally bring was long sucked out by this traumatic event and there was no will to make anymore.

Chae pops the door open from the inside and slides over to the other seat, waving you into the car.

Hopping in to the back, the driver continues on his path.

The silence is calming, even if it does spark the cyclical thoughts - the agonizing overlay that led you to having to go to the hospital to begin with. You can feel Chaeyoung looking at you as your eyes unfocused.

“It’s not your fault.” Cracking through the walls of the theater playing the film of the banquet in your mind, Chae scoots into the middle seat, wrapping her arm around you and trying to comfort you.

“She would be so pissed if she knew that you were blaming yourself for this, you know?” Eyebrows cocked at you.

She’s right.

“She’s a fighter, Y/n. Mina will be awake soon, she’s not going anywhere.” Hugging you tightly for reassurance.

“Thank you.” meekly spoken to her as she rubs your back.

“I think I’d like to walk the rest of the way, it helps me clear my head. It’s only a few blocks, right?” the misery in your eyes is alarming to her, the look on her face says it all.

“It is, I’ll see you there…right?” A warm smile following, making sure you were agreeing. It was very apparent that everyone was worried about you.

The car comes to a halt, opening the car door, you make your promise to Chaeyoung.

“I’ll see you in a little while.” Sliding out of the car carefully, not to agitate your bruising further.

Just as you’re about to close the door, you hear Chae call you by name.

“Y/n?”

Cocking your head up, you see her eyes blur.

“Please be safe…she’s going to want you when she wakes up.”

Biting the inside of your lip, tears welling up as you close the door to the car and it drives off in the direction of the hospital.

Blinking a few times, you see your liquid grief blends into the rain that was starting to fall. The heavy drops couldn’t compare to the destress that weighed down your skin.

Almost as if you’re walking in slow motion, you trudge through the sky’s sporadic droplets and make your way down the road. Taking the time to really try and process what had happened to you over the past few months.

Revisiting the memories of what had happened was like swallowing a branding iron. Nayeon not being anywhere near who she said she was, ruining everything you had built with her. Jihyo playing a part in it but being a victim in Nayeon’s wrath.

And Mina…the innocent bystander that just wanted to make you feel safe and cared for.

How could you ever forgive yourself for what happened with her? It was a miracle no one was blaming you when the gun was pointed at you…maybe if you would’ve heard Nayeon out at the apartment the evening before then none of this would’ve happened…

The sky opens up, releasing a torrential downpour onto you and your thoughts, weighing your clothes down but it was hard to notice considering the heft of the emotions you were carrying.

The constant silent replay of the bullet that put Mina where she is and Nayeon with the smoking gun before it all just fades to black…

A loud clap of thunder snaps you out of your own mind, you can see the hospital from where you are. Focusing on the doors, you take your slow steps towards the building, eager to be in the room where Mina sleeps so when she wakes up, she knows that you’re there for her, like she was for you.

—

The doors slide open, revealing the fluorescent lights that you had woken up under a few days prior. Dripping rainwater onto the tile, the soft thwaps give you something to focus on while you make your way to the elevator.

The external sounds help to drown out the misery and anxiety that saturates your soul. The digging of the elevator, the click of the button, the tapping of the rain on the windows around you, the sliding of the doors and the people around you creating the white noise that scream over your thoughts as you try to keep yourself from violently shaking.

Everyone is here, Momo and Dahyun must’ve drove here knowing this is where you’d end up. Chae arrived safely and Jihyo, Jeongyeon, Tzuyu and Sana were already present.

Walking to the group, you notice Mina’s parents are out of the room and everyone is sobbing…

Running up to them and wincing at every step, the panic overrides the pain of your injuries.

“What happened? Is Mina okay?” choking on your words.

No one answers.

Your heart sinks, anxiety coursing through your veins brings a need to get inside that room. Mina’s father puts his hand on your shoulder, trying to comfort you words that are out of your realm of understanding as the girls try to compose themselves so they can explain.

Reaching for the door immediately, you try to push it open to find it locked.

Having no patience in this moment, you slam your hands on the door - shaking the it inside the frame and trying to get whoever was in the room to let you in.

“One moment, please!” an unfamiliar male voice chimes through the door seemingly frustrated.

“I don’t have a moment! Open the fucking door!” the panic in your voice is so eminent that everyone around you freezes and looks over at you. It’s the first time they’ve seen you this way, aside from the banquet but even then, your anxiety did not show itself this way.

“Y/n…let them do their job.” whispered by Momo, grabbing your shoulder and pulling you away from the room, putting space between you and the answers you craved.

“But…Mina, I-”

The door opens and the unfamiliar voice reveals himself to be the doctor. He steps to the side of the frame and goes to speak with Momo so she can translate for Mina’s parents, everyone else just looks at you and waits to see what you do.

You face the door and take a deep breath.

The unknown of behind the frame scares you, terrified of what was going to be on the other side of it. The gloom sits on your chest as you attempt to take another deep breath, eyes stinging as they try to create more tears but you had cried so much already that you seemingly had run out of them.

Taking a step into the room, you can’t bring yourself to look at the hospital bed. The machines are beeping so that’s a good sign but you’re so worried about what you were going to see that you needed to do this in steps.

Step 1: Walk in the room.

Step 2: take a deep breath.

Step 3: Turn to look at Mi-

“Y/n?” the smallest, most angelic hoarse whisper cuts through your list of what to do next, pushing you into the 3rd step before you could say it to yourself in your head.

“Mina?!” whipping around to the bed, you see Mina awake, looking exhausted and smiling at you with tears falling from her beautiful eyes, streaming down her perfectly porcelain cheeks.

“Mina!” forget the injuries, forget then soaked sweater, forget everything. Nothing else matters but this human in front of you who was finally awake.

Running to the right side of her bed, you shed her sweater and crawl on top of the sheets to lay next to her. Burying your face into her neck, wrapping your arms gently around her and sobbing into her.

“I th-th-thought I l-lost y-you. I’m so s-s-sorry for everything.” sniffling and trying to compose yourself so you can talk to her, holding her face as you wipe the tears off it.

“I sh-should’ve never p-put you in that s-situation, you deserve s-so m-much more than this, I’m so fucking sorry.” falling apart completely in her arms as you held each other.

“I thought I lost you too, Y/n. I’m so happy to see you.” pulling you in closer to her, you can feel the reverberation of her weeping through her body as you just take the moment to hold each other.

“None of this is your fault! You couldn’t have known that Nayeon was going to go off the rails like that. Do not blame yourself for anything that happened…it wasn’t you, it was her. Okay?” kissing the palm of your hand gently as she cradled you.

“Sit up for me.” Mina coos.

You comply immediately, keeping a hand on her while fixing yourself to the upright position.

Mina cups your face, turning it to the side to see your healing bruises, her lower jaw quivers as she attempts to hold back more tears, trying to get an idea of how bad your wounds were. Tilting your head down to see the stitches on your scalp - she loses the will to keep it together.

Mina is in full hysteria, sobbing as she runs her thumb over your bruised cheeks. You wipe the tears from hers again, grabbing her forearms and gripping them lightly as you go to reassure her that you’re fine.

“Wh-what else?” her raspy voice choking out, sighing and trying to regulate but interrupting you before you can get the sentence out.

“3 broken ribs, 16 stitches on my scalp and a few bruises to my face and stomach. The doctor told me that had you not held the back of my head, I would have died…So thank you for saving my life, Mina…what did they say…about you?” fearing the worst as to what could be…what Nayeon inflicted on her after you fainted.

“Punctured lung and a few cracked ribs. They told me to take it easy for the next few months and that I might get winded easily until my lungs heal. I can’t lift this arm until the muscles heal either but…I would do it again.” sniffling as she calms, realizing you both are okay, she removes her hand from your face and holds a few of your fingers instead.

“You would do it again?” confused in what she meant.

“Y/n, I have admired you from a distance for so long. I watched her take the light from your eyes and I was blessed to see it return. I would take that bullet a million times over if it meant keeping you safe and keeping the glow you have alive.” reaching up to cup your face again, pulling you towards her and placing her lips on yours gently.

Solar systems collide with the energy exchange that was this moment, your lips meeting after all the worry you both experienced for each other. It’s like all the trauma that you both endured melted off your bones, dripping into pure lilac care and comfort for one another, allowing both of you to forget about everything you endured together, even if it’s just for a moment.

Her heart monitor beeps uncontrollably as her heart races, prompting everyone to run in anxiously when they hear the sound of the chirps from the machine.

Separating for only a moment, you both look over at everyone and share a giggle together. Everyone is smiling at you, just happy to see the light between the two of you again.

“Sorry for the scare, everyone…” Mina’s face beams red in the embarrassment from making everyone worry, but that doesn’t stop her from doing what she wanted.

Pulling you back to her, she kisses you in front of Twice and her parents. It was soft and sweet and it contained every comfort you craved in the last few days of living in the unknown, even if the action did surprise you.

It was a welcomed and lovely surprise.

—

After a few hours of talking and sitting together, the Twice members leave to change and get some rest but not before Momo can give you your phone. Wanting Mina to spend some time with her parents, you try to stand and go with Momo to give her some space, but Mina wouldn’t let go of your hand.

“Please stay. I want you next to me.” gripping you tighter and tugging you back to her.

Climbing back onto the bed, you lay with her while she speaks to her family. Unable to join the conversation because of the language barrier, you simply lay next to her and keep her hand in yours.

The sound of her voice brings is a calm to you that you feel like you’ve been missing for years. Body relaxing next to hers, you face her on your side and slowly drift into a peaceful sleep you hadn’t known for days.

—

A buzzing wakes you, jolting you out of your sleep and immediately causing a disgruntle energy to settle in your body. Reaching over to the table next to Mina’s hospital bed, you admire her calmness for a moment, sleeping so peacefully, and your heart soars.

Realizing it was just you and Mina in the room, her parents must’ve gone back to their hotel to get some rest, you grab the phone and look to see an unfamiliar number on the screen.

Swiping to answer, you groggily say your greeting to be met by something unexpected.

“Hello?”

“Good Morning, This is the sheriff’s office and we are looking for Y/n L/n.” the thick southern accent familiar in the way it speaks, this must be the officer from the other day.

“This is she.”

“Well, Ms. L/n, I wish we were calling for better circumstances but unfortunately, that is not the case. Your apartment was broken into and torn apart. Are you currently available to come down and see if anything is missing?”

“What?!” your voice wakes Mina up, she quickly realizes that something is wrong and she’s sitting up next to you.

Putting the phone on speaker, you wait to hear what the officer has to say.

“It looks like they broke in through the window in the kitchen, it also looks like every room has been trashed…I suggest you get down here as soon as you can.” the officer is not aware of the events that had happened just a few days prior.

“I’m currently in the hospital waiting for my girlfriend to be discharged.” Mina perks up at the statement, turning red and blushing.

“We both were in a bit of a targeted situation and are a bit beat up. How long will you be down there?” inquired so you can cooperate in the situation.

“Targeted situation? Does this have to do with that rock with the note from before?” the officer seems to be concerned, realizing that this is way bigger than he realized.

“Yes. Im Nayeon tried to kill us at a friends banquet a few days ago. She was shot…and is…uhm…” realizing that Mina didn’t know about what happened with Nayeon yet.

“Well, she’s dead, sir.”

“What?” Mina gasps at this information, tears welling up as the processes what you’ve just said.

“I’m going to pull the reports for this incident, give me one moment.” the officer says, hearing typing on the other end of the line.

“It looks like she’s very much alive. There are reports that she was taken to the hospital across town and was in police custody but she escaped two days ago and her whereabouts are unknown.” the words ricocheted off your skull and down into your chest.

“What did you just say?” looking over at Mina, who is wide eyed and shivering as she tries to cope with how overwhelming this situation is.

“You should probably get here, Ms. Y/n. We will wait for you.” as he hung up the phone.

Looking over at Mina, you are both in shock.

“I saw Jihyo shoot Nayeon before I passed out…I remember that…but…why did she want to hurt us? Why did she hurt me? ” Mina’s eyes shift back and forth as she recalls what happened that night, the trauma settling in her brain from the betrayal of someone who once was her sister.

“We thought she was…gone. We all thought that she was…” cut off by the hinges of the door squeaking.

Watching as the door to the room opens and the nurse who did your discharge paperwork steps in with a clipboard for Mina.

“I’ll let you do the paperwork, I’m going to step outside and call Momo to let her know what’s going on.” Standing up with a sense of urgency and rushing past the nurse.

“Please hurry back.” Mina chimes as the nurse fills her in on care she would need.

The phone chirps back to you as you wait for Momo to answer. It’s early so you know you’re waking her and Dahyun up but this was an emergency.

“Hello? Y/n? Is everything okay?” Dahyun answers Momo’s phone, worried about you and Mina.

“No. Nayeon’s alive and not in police custody. I think she broke into my apartment and trashed it but Mina is signing her paperwork for discharge now and we are going to head over there.” Giving her the information that was given to you.

“What?! I’ll wake Momo, we can meet you there.” Already hearing Momo grumbling in the background.

“Let me take care of the apartment stuff. We will get a hotel somewhere and call you from there to meet us. I fear we won’t be safe until she’s caught.” Voice shaky as the fear penetrates you.

“Okay, just call us when you can.”

“I will call you soon, I promise.”

Hanging up the phone and spinning around to see Mina standing and struggling to change her clothes, not being able to lift her arm was hindering her mobility.

It breaks your heart into tiny pieces, watching her try to do something so basic by herself but hindered by the wound Nayeon inflicted.

Walking back in, you shut the door behind you and help her get dressed. Being her arm for her, slipping her pants on and finagling her sleeves of her sweater so she can slip the arm that she can’t lift through it and be somewhat comfortable.

“What aftercare did the nurse give you?” Grabbing the bag of her things and her hand before leading her out of the room to the door.

Both of you taking it slowly despite the mess at your apartment and the imminent threat of Nayeon, she could be anywhere. The most important things were safe, you and Mina. Everything else is replaceable.

“Just changing bandages and making sure it’s sterile. Stuff my Dad taught me, very easy.” reassuring you that she had it handled.

“Teach me how to do it once we get somewhere safe?” Offering to help care for her as she did for you when you needed her.

Protect her and care for her, that’s all you wanted.

“Of course, baby.” Leaning in to kiss your cheeks as you walk out of the hospital, just happy to be with each other again.

“To your apartment?” Looking up at you as you hail down a cab.

“To the apartment. Can you call your parents and make sure they’re somewhere safe? I don’t want anyone else hurt in this…” worrying about their safety, you can’t handle anymore hurt to loved ones especially after the kindness they showed you.

“I’ll call them on the way.” pulling her phone out of her pocket and scrolling through her contacts.

“Also, your girlfriend, huh?” Making eyes at you and smirking before looking back at her phone and clicking on her Mom’s contact ID.

“I- well I-…uhm.” Stammering and embarrassed, you hadn’t exactly asked her to be your girlfriend yet…

“I like the way that sounds, can I keep that title?” Winking at you, she lifts her phone to her ear to speak with her family about what comes next.

“Please do.” giving her the biggest smile you’ve shown in days.

—

Arriving at the apartment, you see the crime scene tape and the sheriff outside. You and Mina thank the cab driver before getting out and walking up to the officer.

“Ms. Y/n! Thank you for coming so quickly, will you please walk through the apartment and let us know if anything is missing?” Ushering you inside with Mina, he seems to be in a hurry.

All the windows are broken, the couch has been sliced up with a knife, the TV is shattered and the game consoles you had purchased were in pieces in the living room floor. Sighing at the sight of this, you knew it would only get worse further into the house.

The kitchen was covered in shattered dining ware, all your new plates and cups in ruins on the floor. The sink missing chunks of the tub of it and the water spraying everywhere, creating puddles on the floor.

Thinking back to when Mina cleaned the floor after the window shattered and bandaged up your foot on the island that now was coated in broken ceramics…you were just starting to make happy memories here, why would someone ruin this?

Everything is broken tossed around like it was nothing…the only thing left untouched was the black mug that you had matching with her…

Gasping at each room you went into, you made your way to the bedroom to see what else she could’ve done. It’s astonishing to you that someone who was just beaten and shot could do this much damage to a property.

The bed is in shreds, just like the couch. Headboard broken and falling off the frame. Clothes everywhere, thrown around and in pieces just like the rest of your belongings.

Mina grips your hand tighter, refusing to let go of it as you realize that everything you owned was completely dismantled at what you assumed to be Nayeon’s hands and a very sharp knife.

“We can replace it all, I’m not worried about any of this.” Kicking around the fabrics of what were once your favorite shirts and shoes.

“Y/n?” Mina’s voice quivers as she points to the wall.

Heavy red spray paint spelling out, “Sorry she’s gone but you’re mine.”

“What the fuck…” a chill runs through your spine, you knew it was Nayeon the minute you walked in but this…this felt like such a threat, making you nauseous and fearful of how much farther she would take this.

“We need to get out of here.” Turning around to leave and pulling Mina with you, when you feel a vibration in your pocket.

Pulling your phone out, it’s an unknown number…

Waving over the officer to show him the phone, he hands you a device that clicks into the charging port of the phone, explaining that it would track her location via cell towers and then encourages you to answer the call on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Did you like my art on your walls, my love?” Giggling manically at herself, you sit in silence.

“What do you fucking want, Nayeon? Haven’t you done enough already?!” Seethed through clenched teeth as you watch the sheriff signal you to keep her talking.

“Awh baby, are you mad at me? Sorry about your little girlfriend…she was just collateral damage, a pawn in a bigger game. So is your apartment but don’t worry, you can still come home. I miss our showers together, don’t you?” somewhere between manic and seductive, her strange attempt to get you back to your old home was threatening and violent.

You’re unsure how far she’s going to take this and you don’t want to find out what the last resort is after what she’s already done.

“I told you I don’t want anything to do with you.” Trying to keep calm when in reality the storm brewing in your chest could’ve blown the roof off the apartment, ruining it further.

“Look…she’s dead. Gone. I shot her where it counted, so just come home where you belong. With me. Don’t you want to come home to me again, baby? I broke up with Jihyo…it’s over between us. It’s only you, my love. Only you and me.” trying to conceal her tears from you, but you can see and hear right through them.

This was always about control.

The cops puts his hand up, signaling that they had her location.

“You either show up here in the next few hours or else.” The grit in her voice scares you more than you’d ever admit out loud.

“Like what, Nayeon? What else could you possibly hurt me with?” snarky in your response, knowing that you had the upper hand and she wasn’t aware of that.

“Well…don’t forget I know where Momo and Dahyun live. You have 2 hours to get here. No cops. Just you. I love you.” The phone beeps, indicating she’s hung up on you.

Mina has a look of horror on her face, leaning in to hug you. Feeling her shake in fear sparks a rage in you that you cannot explain.

“Is she actually at the old apartment?” The officer nods his head yes.

“I’m going over there. Follow behind me and come inside 15 minutes after I do, do you want me to wear a wire?” to the sheriff, he nods his head again.

Mina is hasty in her protest, practically slamming her fist down on the counter as she spits her argument at you.

“Don’t you fucking dare put yourself in harm’s way again! I thought I lost you the first time and I don’t want to even imagine what losing you would feel like, please…just let them handle it.” Holding back her sobs, she’s distraught and almost inconsolable.

Hugging her as tightly as you can without sparking pain in both of you, you rub her back in reassurance and kiss the top of her head. Holding you so tightly, she refuses to let you go at all, keeping you in her arms, where she would argue you belong. To that you had no rebuttal.

“I’ll be safe, I promise. And you are safe because she thinks…” the words get caught in your throat.

“…she thinks she killed you…I can’t let her go after Momo and Dahyun, I won’t let her go after them.” kissing her forehead and then reminding her of the one key part of this plan of you going to your old home.

“Besides…I’m just a distraction.”

[alcoholfreenayeon]

Butterflies

CW: Nayeon x Reader, hint of angst, fluff

You make a sour expression as you eat dinner. Nayeon, sitting across you, was looking away bitterly as well. The two of you were still not talking to each other. You keep staring at your food, digging at it and not eating much. Meanwhile Nayeon wasn’t eating either, glancing at you sourly constantly. It was far from a usual evening that you and Nayeon are used to. After dinner you get up and sit on the sofa, flipping through some shows, skipping past the one you and Nayeon watch everyday while or after eating just as she walks in causing a flash of pain and annoyance to flicker over her face before she scowls and storms off to the bedroom.

You sigh and continue flipping through shows, nothing really catching your attention as your thoughts are focused on wondering if Nayeon went to bed straight away or if she’s watching something on her laptop instead. Your thoughts wander back to her pouty angry looks at dinner. It made you feel so guilty to still be fighting with her but at the same time, you had felt your heart skip a beat because in your eyes she still looked so beautiful…adorable. Truth be told in your heart, you were more than ready to go, make up and apologize but your pride was holding you back which kinda annoyed you but you also weren’t willing to fight it. You wonder if she feels the same way, hopefully she does, you already miss holding her so much even though it’s barely been a few hours. You dread the possibility that she’s still seriously upset. You keep switching between scrolling through your phone mindlessly to going through some more shows aimlessly, passing by the time enough so it makes it seem like you watched an episode of a show. Even though you were ready to make up, you still preferred that she be the first to try and make up. You silently curse yourself as you stand outside the bedroom, hesitant to enter. Gods get a grip of yourself, you scold yourself as you take a deep breath. It wasn’t helping. Now that you had cooled off and had to face her, you felt really self-conscious. Was she still mad at you? Did she feel really hurt? Did she miss you as much as you missed her? Did she still love you the same? All these questions haunting you. You take another deep breath. You can see the main light is off and only her night lamp is on. Maybe she already went to sleep. On one hand that means you can avoid your guilt and shame and head to bed easily…maybe even put an arm around her for a few moments but it also means she really was upset if by nothing but the fact that you skipped past the show you both watch together. Fuck it, you tell yourself. You take another deep breath and open the door, bracing yourself to face the worst.

You enter to find Nayeon leaning against the bed headrest, hugging a pillow, your pillow. Upon seeing you enter the bedroom, she hurriedly puts the pillow away and picks up the book by her side, pretending to have been reading it the whole time.

As you walk up to your side of the bed, you don’t notice how she didn’t look at the book once since she picked it up again. She was looking at you longingly…until she realized how she must have looked and forced herself to make her expression angrier but it only resulted it in making it pouty….

You feel your heart race as you sit down on the bed. You reach out to turn your nightlight off to signal you were about to go to sleep but before you can, Nayeon reaches out and shuts hers off first making it seem like it was her intention to go to bed first. You turn your light off and shoot her a dirty look to which she rolls eyes. You feel tense as you prepare to lie down, taking a couple breaths to calm yourself first. When you finally lay down and turn towards her, you find her scooting close towards you as well though she avoids looking at you, keeping her expression like she’s annoyed and only doing it as a favor to you.

You huff and put your arms around her pulling close and she puts her arms around you too, huffing and sighing dramatically as well. Neither of you aware that both of you are trying their hardest to not let the other feel their heart with how fast both your hearts were racing.

You feel her looking at you expectantly through her peripherals and you roll your eyes. It was a thing between the two of you. That while you both cuddle and talk about your day, the person who kisses the other’s forehead signals that they are sleepy but the other person can keep talking since they want to fall asleep listening to their voice. Mostly it was you kissing her forehead since she was more chatty and also had more things to talk about throughout her day.

And then all of a sudden you felt something…pettiness…playful pettiness or brattiness you couldn’t tell. Regardless, you brushed her hair from her forehead and prepared to kiss her only to close off your lips entirely and touch her forehead for a second and pulled back which to her felt like you might as well have thrown a stone at her. You were trying to keep your expression between looking inconvenienced to neutral but in truth you were trying hard not to smile. Nayeon on the hand looked up at you in disbelief before huffing and turning away so instead of cuddling, you both are now spooning.

Now that she wasn’t able to see you, you let out a tiny smile, readjusting your positions so her hair isn’t in your face. But after a moment her hair gets in your face again…and then again after another minute and that’s when you realize, she’s doing it on purpose! Holding an annoyed sigh in, you keep trying to readjust but it’s a lost battle. You can basically sense her doing that particular smile she does when she annoys you and it nearly makes you chuckle. You take a deep breath and sit up slightly and turn her towards you, trying not to look annoyed or smile, doing your best to keep a serious expression as you can’t let her ‘win’, giving her a look as if to say you want to sleep and don’t to play games. For the barest of moments it almost looks like she felt hurt from your look but it disappears immediately as you nearly smile and now she’s trying not to smile and giggle as well.

Turning back towards you, you both are cuddling again, both of you trying not to smile as you both keep your eyes closed and pretend to try to fall asleep. You think you are succeeding until you realize how quickly you were breathing and slow yourself down. You feel Nayeon take short peaceful breaths and you feel relief all over you. She wasn’t upset at you anymore. You stay still for a few more moments wanting to make sure she’s really asleep before opening your eyes and looking at her. You feel butterflies in your stomach as you see her pretty face and you can’t help but break into a smile. Brushing a strand of hair away from her face, you softly kiss her forehead and close your eyes. A few moments later, you feel her stir, you keep your eyes closed and then you feel her kiss your cheek lovingly. She was awake???? You open your eyes immediately to see her looking back at you happily before she presses herself into you even more and you hold her tighter….

[dollfacedsl1ut]

anal and/or oral with older g!p nayeon

I like this gif.. ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ (if you enjoyed you can tip me here)

content : anal, crying, slight mommy kink

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡

Her cold hands gripped your hips as she rutted in your wet hole repeatedly the squelching sound made your pussy flutter. Nayeon moved upwards as she gripped the headboard angling her cock in a deeper part of your body, you moaned loudly as you gripped her shoulders tightly, her dark eyes peered down at you as a smile plastered on her face, she lifted her leg higher on your waist quickening her pace. You could hardly breathe cause you were to busy choking on your tears “mommy s-slower ple-“ you were silenced as a hand was placed on your neck she squeezed tightly nearly cutting off all oxygen. “m-mommy plea-“ her vice grip on your neck caused your eyes to roll back as a familiar tightening in your belly formed. Nayeon rubbed your lips with her thumb as she prodded it in your mouth, you sucked on her finger as her other hand left the headboard and rubbed circles on your pussy before inserting two of her fingers. “You’re still such a tight little girl aren’t you” you nodded as nayeons fingers brushed against her cock that was pounding ferociously in you. Your wetness coated her fingers, glancing down you watched the outline of her digits stretch your pretty pussy. You couldn’t help but drool as you sucked on nayeons pretty fingers faster as you subconsciously rolled your hips along with her as your body threatened to snap. “m-mommy m’gonna cum please-“ you didn’t know if you wanted her to go faster or slower you but you just pled for a release “mommy…can I cum…please” your voice was barely audible from your tears. “you wanna cum for mommy y/n?” Her voiced teased the right side of you as you came around her fingers, your holes tightened around her as your neck arched off the bed, your visions blurred as nayeon kept fucking herself into you she was close her wet hands slapped and groped your soft tits “m’gonna cum in your tight little hole…and your gonna take it and keep my cum inside” her words sounded so good in your ears, you nodded not wanting to disappoint her. You felt a spread in your hips as she rutted in your few more times releasing her thick load of cum “mommy s’good” the warmness of her cum made your body relax as nayeon smiled down at you “you’re gonna keep mommy’s cum inside right” she poked your nose “yes mommy I-I’ll keep your cum inside” she pulled out slowly as she raising a brow, you felt her cum begin to run out of your gaping rim, your head was still fuzzy as you plunged your fingers in your rim moving them around slowly. Nayeon giggled as she leaned over you removing your hand then licking your fingers clean “you’re such a good girl” she moved a hair from your sweaty forehead as she placed a kiss on your face “my perfect little girl”

[psylocke142]

Night of fireworks

Jihyo x fem!reader

synopsis: Colorful lights began to erupt into the night sky. You felt as if your heart burst along with each explosion in the sky. Dreading the end of the festival. This is the last summer you will spend with Jihyo before you part ways.

w/c: 1.8k

warnings: none(?); maybe some angst; goodbyes; definitely some angst

a/n: i was surprised with the results of my first fic(?), not sure what to call it. thank you if you read that and left a like or reblog <3.  i was expecting nothing tbh so i was so happy to see it do better than i expected.

i was listening to Night of Fireworks by Xdinary Heroes and was inspired to write this work. i chose jihyo because i've been missing her zone & one spark era lately. DMs and asks are open. i’m still new to writing so any suggestions or comments are appreciated. apologies for any errors.

------------------------------------------------------

Jihyo looked beautiful today. She always did, but today you felt mesmerized by her. Even with the lack of light outside, as the sun had already set, Jihyo seemed to glow in your eyes.

“Come on y/n, don’t get lost.”

Your hand was grasped by Jihyo’s, pulling you along to make sure you didn’t get lost in the crowd. Jihyo looked back towards you. Blinding smile crossing her features, making her glow even more.

Your mushy thoughts and gazing were suddenly interrupted.

“There you guys are, we’ve been looking for you two everywhere.” Nayeon huffed.

“These two have been running my pockets wanting to play every festival game.” She continued. The culprits, Momo and Sana, happily ate away at a huge bucket of cotton candy. Which was also bought with Nayeon’s money. No remorse in their eyes.

Mina just silently greeted you two with a smile and waved as Nayeon clung to her arm in defeat.

“Please tell them that these games are rigged for you to lose money trying to win stupid stuffed toys!” the eldest whined.

It was the end of summer, which meant that the city’s annual summer festival was in place. The six of you had decided to come to this year’s festival. You were all still adjusting to the adult world; the youngest of your group just finishing university, others securing new jobs, and the rest of you were piled with work. This left little room for your friends to hang out like before. There were still a few of you missing tonight.

Jeongyeon and Tzuyu couldn’t make it, the vet center they’re working at had them stay for the night shift. They explained that some of the animals get jumpy with fireworks, so they were quick to oblige. Chaeyoung and Dahyun volunteered to stay behind with them to help, expressing concern over their friends being left out. Really they just wanted to play with the puppies and kittens all night.

Your group of friends sought a night of enjoyment and unwinding. The girls were all glad to be able to have found time to gather and spend together. Jihyo was particularly delighted that majority of your group could make it. Wanting to see your girlfriend even more happy you had a plan. Tonight every wish Jihyo had was your command.

Jihyo wanted funnel cake?

You bought her some.

Jihyo wanted to go on the bumper carts?

You teamed up to annoy Nayeon by cornering her and continuously crashed into her cart.

Jihyo wanted a ‘stupid stuffed toy’?

You played the festival games until you won her a cute stuffed elephant.

Much to Nayeon’s dismay. Momo and Sana gave her puppy eyes and promised to treat her to dinner if she won them something. She relented of course. Surprisingly, or not, Mina won a medium-sized panda on her second attempt of the ring toss.

Despite being able to enjoy the festival and being with your friends, there was a gnawing feeling eating away at you. It would creep up on you throughout the night. Not letting you stray too far from the reality of tonight. A reminder of the ticking timer in your chest.

This summer festival would be the last you get to spend with Jihyo.

Jihyo had gotten a promotion. Said promotion was a significant milestone in her career, as she was still a rookie in her office, only having worked for her company for two years. This was a chance she couldn’t turn down, it would be unwise to do so.

However, there was a major downside to this promising opportunity. It required her to relocate. Jihyo had to move to the company’s prestigious headquarters — in Paris. She would be moving to a beautiful and alluring city while gaining valuable experience for her work, but it also meant she had to leave her current life behind. Her friends, family, and you.

Jihyo didn’t mind the idea of starting fresh in a new country. Her ambitiousness and work ethic would make that a smooth process. What weighed heavily in both her heart and mind, was what it meant for the two of you.

Despite your willingness to move to Paris and follow your girlfriend, she protested. You had just secured a job with your dream company a couple months ago. Following Jihyo meant giving up the job you dedicated your blood, sweat, and tears for. That was something Jihyo couldn’t allow. The memory of you jumping in joy when you landed the job fresh in mind. She couldn’t take that away from you by asking you to leave with her. Hesitantly you obeyed Jihyo, not wanting to further upset her or cause any more turmoil.

Uncertainty filled your hearts. Fear of what the distance, different time zones, and unforeseeable changes would make of your relationship. So you both reluctantly agreed to not let it reach to a point of no return. Not wanting to taint the beautiful relationship you cultivated throughout the years.

To set aside the worries and stress, Jihyo invited the group to the summer festival. Afterall, this would probably be the last time she gets to hang out with everyone for a while.

Jihyo’s main reason for coming to the summer festival was to see the firework show with you. She wanted to spend a memorable night with you before the end.

As you prepared to leave to watch the show, Jihyo said her goodbyes to your friends. Both sides making promises of keeping in touch.

The conversations between Jihyo and the girls made your heart clench, knowing that you were going to have a similar talk later that night. Taking in the fact that you would have a different goodbye than your friends. One more permanent.

Once again Jihyo was leading you, hand in hers, to a vacant park that would have a nice view of the firework show. Once again, you just cherished the sight of her.

As you sat down on the grass, waiting for the firework show to start, you realized that the night was ending. Without thinking you held onto Jihyo’s hand tighter. In response, the shorter girl placed herself between your legs. She wrapped your arms around her as she leaned herself into your front.

The distant crowd began to applaud and cheer as the countdown for the show began.

Colorful lights began to erupt into the night sky. You felt your chest constrict tightly with each explosion that fired into the sky. Dreading the end of the festival.

You looked up into the sky, at the fireworks.

Then you looked at Jihyo.

Her face was tilted upwards looking at the sky. Big round eyes reflecting the colorful lights. Soft black hair cascading down her profile in slight waves. Mouth slightly agape and forming a bright smile. Face expressing momentary awe and joy. You couldn’t help but feel an immense amount of love for the girl in your arms — the girl who held your heart.

Fireworks were nowhere close to shooting stars that you could wish upon. Still, you hoped that they could grant you just one wish. You gazed at the fireworks and you prayed to the explosive colors in the sky. To let you stay here forever, with Jihyo.

As the build up for the grand finale of the firework show began, you felt your heart’s timer begin to run out. The night was over. You held Jihyo tighter. Buried your head onto her shoulder. Trying to ingrain this moment into your brain.

Before the final fireworks went off Jihyo stood up unraveling herself from your warm embrace. Her back towards you.

“y/n…”

“it’s time.”

You hesitated to stand up. Not quite ready for what was to come.

You thought that maybe it was just you who felt devastated to have to say goodbye. Until Jihyo turned around and lifted her head to look at you. There were tears that had already fallen from her eyes and new ones that threatened to fall. She ignored her tears and just smiled at you.

Jihyo grabbed both of your hands to hold in hers. She observed your face intently. Slowly nearing towards you. She closed the small distance between you. Lips meeting in a gentle but desperate need to be together.

Her hands came up to caress your face but stopped when she felt the tears that ran down your cheeks. Tears that you hadn’t realized had fallen. Jihyo pulled back and wiped away your tears.

“This is what’s best, right Jihyo?” you muttered. Suddenly unsure of what you had both agreed upon. Not quite set on letting each other go. Not set on saying goodbye.

“Yes,” Jihyo quietly replied as her hands roamed your shoulders. Her body pushing against your front to be as close as possible. To savor your touch for these last few moments.

“I love you Ji,”

“I always will.” you whispered as you moved a strand of Jihyo’s hair to tuck behind her ear. Your other hand finding her waist to hold.

“So will I, y/n/n. I love you too.”

Jihyo pushed herself even deeper into your hold, enveloping you in a hug. You reciprocated her actions. Filling as many gaps between your bodies as you could.

The remaining fireworks shot upwards into a final explosion. Finally the ticking timer in your heart went off. Heart bursting alongside the lights in the sky.

Without hesitating you brought your lips to your lover’s. You emitted all the love you felt for Jihyo into the kiss. Your last kiss.

As the fireworks began to fade, you both pulled away. Jihyo brought her hands to yours. You stared down at the connected limbs. Tears brimmed at the corner of your eyes. You willed yourself not to cry as you looked up. You wanted these last moments with Jihyo to be as clear as crystal.

The girl before you still glowed in the dark night. She looked stunning, angelic even, despite the tears in her eyes. Those round mesmerizing eyes held something scenic, a view filled with sadness and love. Far more captivating than any shooting star or firework show.

Thousands of unspoken thoughts were behind both of your eyes. Thoughts that you were able to comprehend without either of you having to voice them.

Jihyo gently let go of your hand, her fingers softly lingering for a moment longer than necessary. The inevitable end of the festival has come and so has the conclusion of your time.

You felt yourself wanting to reach out, to hold her hand tighter as her fingers began to slip away, a last attempt at grasping this fleeting moment that you wished could last forever. The look in her eyes pleaded for you to not make this any more difficult than it already was. A mixture of sadness and adoration. Your own gaze reflected Jihyo’s. A shared understanding; this parting, though painful, was necessary.

Jihyo was the first to speak.

“Goodbye, baby” she solemnly drawled.

“Goodbye, love” you returned.

Still rooted in the same spot, you watched the love of your life walk away. Tears now freely falling. Heart in ashes.

The night of fireworks is over.

[sscieloz]

Just Pretend

Im Nayeon x member!reader

Synopsis: looking back on the day it happened.

Warnings: angst. overdosing. hard use of drugs. self-harm. agressive behaviors.

Word count: 3.4k

Notes: -

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5 | Pt.6

Without them, you are worth nothing.

The manager’s words echoed in your head as you entered the apartment, dragging your feet in exhaustion.

He wasn’t wrong, as much as it hurt to admit. You were far from being the most popular member, often preferring to be in the back and step aside to give your bandmates the spotlight. You weren’t as good of a singer as Jihyo, delicate as Mina or as smooth of a dancer as Momo. You’d never be half as good as your bandmates were, no matter how much you practiced and worked to improve. You knew that, they knew that; it was a well-known fact, even though everyone refused to acknowledge out loud.

Were you ever going to be anything other than mediocre?

The thoughts were overwhelming, running through your head at high speed. You threw yourself in your massive bed, the pillow muffling your screams as you tried your best to suffocate, shrink and just disappear. You felt the tiredness up in your bones, the weight heavy and crushing down on your lungs until you were unable to breathe; all you could do was choke in your tears, grasping desperately for a comfort that would never be provided to you.

You were trying so hard. Every day, you did the best you could to keep speaking, breathing, working. Why did no one recognize that?

Why were your efforts never enough?

You screamed, yet no one came. No one heard; no one cared.

You’d once told your bandmates you didn’t mind living alone —you were used to it, after all. Being raised in a small family, it was only natural for you to seek a place for yourself after the girls decided to leave the dorms. You had opted for complete silence and privacy, just as you secretly wished after so many years of a chaotic dorm life with your bandmates.

As much you were thankful for the times you had shared: the late night talks, being spoiled by the older girls, or just hanging out together 24/7… you missed the loneliness your body had grown up with, being alone most of the day as a little girl while waiting for your parents to return home, from work.

That’s what you had told them: you didn’t mind living by yourself. It was quiet, organized, and nice, surely different from the life you’ve experienced as a trainee, but nothing you weren’t used to. You liked being able to relax, to be vulnerable without having to worry about being caught. This way, you didn’t have to think about being a burden to your bandmates, no matter how much they’d argue against it.

That’s how you’ve always seen yourself. As a burden, an unnecessary member, a selfish human being and most importantly, a horrible friend to your bandmates, who you loved to pieces. You’d never be worthy of them. Would never be half of all they were.

A failure. That’s the only thing you excelled at being.

Your mind, the thoughts… it was too much of a burden. You were— you’ve been exhausted for so long. If only the intensity of the memories, the hypothetic situations plotted in your mind would cease, even if just for a few seconds. Then you’d rest, finally, without them bothering and being an ache in your head. Silence, at last. You’d do anything to have it, no matter if the quietude was for a single minute.

After what seemed so long, your loud sobs faded to whimpers, and the banging in your head resumed to a fading headache. With that, you were able to think a little clearer, although still deeply hurt. Your mind went immediately to your unnies, seeking comfort. You knew they’d be more than eager to help you, doing everything in their power to make you feel better — however you simply couldn’t; it was almost like something physical; your stomach prickled, and you felt like throwing up every time you thought about bothering them, even more to talk about something as stupid as your feelings. No, you couldn’t. They were all also struggling, each with their own demons to battle. You’d never ask for help.

Even though you desperately needed it.

As you sat down on the bed, you thought about your oldest bandmate, Nayeon. Always so energetic, with her bunny smile and an infinite wish to have fun and enjoy her life. Picturing her big, loving eyes, you know just what to do to forget such heavy feelings that nested and suffocated your heart.

-

“I’m sorry, Y/nnie.” Nayeon’s voice sounded baffled through the phone, since she was clearly in a loud space. You recalled the oldest member talking about shooting for a magazine, but you didn’t quite remember the details. “Could you repeat yourself? What is it that you want, my dear?”

You took another long gulp of your mixed drink — it tasted awful, since you’ve never seemed to get the dosage of alcohol right, but you didn’t really care. All you wanted was to numb the pain and silence the thoughts, anyway. “That skirt of yours, unnie. The one you were wearing at Louis Vuitton’s fashion show? I also have a shooting later today, and I’d really, really like to wear it. Please?”

She took long to answer, and you weren’t sure if it was because she was busy or simply wondering what was happening to you. Once again, you hated yourself for disturbing her, but the desperation in your bones hurt enough that you’d do anything for it to stop.

“I don’t remember you having a solo shooting anytime soon, baby. It wasn’t mentioned in our monthly meetings, at the company. Who is it for? Tell me all about it, maknae. I want to know.” You could hear people calling her, throughout the line — but she was quick to silence them all, asking for a few more minutes of break. Nayeon’s smart, and knows you too well. She was aware something felt off: whether it was the heaviness in your tone, or how you were stuttering slightly, the words coming out unclear and hesitant.

You were prepared for it, though. You’ve rehearsed all of your words before dialing her number.

“It was a last-time arrangement.” You answered promptly, walking around in your apartment. “Manager-im said the company didn’t really want it, but they’ve let me do it today, finally. It’s for ELLE Korea.”

Nayeon hummed, and you could imagine her shoulders relaxing in her shooting’s dressing room.

She was falling right into your trap.

“Oh, wonderful.” She was probably smiling, her bunny teeth all in display, and the thought of that made you guiltier than ever. You were despicable, not worthy of her love at all. You needed punishment, to hurt and to— “I’m free in a few hours, then I was supposed to meet Momo for dinner. Maybe you could join us, my love? I’ll give you the skirt there, then. You’ve been so distant later, Y/n. Me and all the girls… we miss you.”

Her words forged a bulge in your throat, your defenses falling off instantly. You did your best to hold the hiccups that threatened to leave your lips, frail and insecure. Nayeon’s warmth always made you feel so small, cared for and comforted. Any words from her are enough for you to go running into her arms, crying and confessing all of your deepest fears to the oldest member.

It was an easy thing to do, in theory. But in reality, how hard it was to know you were surrounded by care, yet a thick wall prevented you from feeling the love you so desperately claimed for.

“C-can’t I just stop by your house and grab it, unnie? I’ll be quick and won’t make a mess, I p-promise.” You couldn’t tell her how much you were hurting. The words didn’t come out, they never did. You’ve tried to do so countless times.

They’d never know your troubles, your pain. And it was your fault.

Nayeon sighs, and you know she’s tired. You were exhausted, too.

Regardless of anything, though, you were still the maknae. The girls always granted all of your wishes.

“Sure, baby. I’ll message the doorman so he’ll let you in. You know the code, right?” She was respecting your time, giving you as much space as you needed, to heal from the demons she did not comprehend.

Again, you didn’t deserve her.

“I do.” You bit your lip, unsure of how to express yourself. After so long of keeping your soul hidden, it’s difficult to let the light shine through. “Thank you, unnie. I love you.”

She knew you weren't talking about her skirt.

“And I love you, my dear. We all do, very much.” You heard another muffled voice, sounding much more incisive, even though you couldn’t understand the words clearly. “I’ll talk to you later, ok? Call me whenever.”

You hung up, somehow feeling worse than before.

-

Nayeon’s apartment is a familiar scenery to you. It’s where your most precious memories live, from times when you weren’t so broken and scared. Tracing the walls with your fingers, you reminisced the best ones: weekly movie nights with the girls, the times when Momo baked you cookies because you were feeling down. Being alone in Nayeon’s lavish, grand place feels weird— almost wrong. As if you’re entering a dangerous part of your brain, one you kept carefully hidden because looking back at it hurt too much.

Have you always been like that? So dull and lost?

It’s winter, and Nayeon’s not home, so it’s only natural that the house is cold. However, you felt a different type of freezing feeling in your bones. One so strong it left you shivering, mouth colorless and fists closed, your long nails inflicting pain upon the palms of your hands so you’d focus the discomfort somewhere else, if not your entire body.

Her room, messy as always, brought enough comfort that you found yourself smiling; at least some things never changed. You went straight to her closet, although not for the excuse you’ve told your unnie. Her skirt was there, naturally — but you were looking for something entirely different.

Nayeon has always been energetic. She enjoyed socializing, partying, and, most importantly, having fun. You know it well.

Her personality was the reason she had the perfect distraction for you. At least for a few moments, the thoughts would cease. You’d no longer feel the heavy burden that was being alive. Silence, that’s all you wanted.

You already knew where to look. You’d caught her reaching out for it before attending Jennie’s birthday party. ‘Just to have a little fun, love.’ she had told you. In the last drawer on the left, behind layers of thick winter sweaters and scarfs, the drugs she’d use recreationally were carefully packed in a small metallic box, sparkling at your touch.

Your phone lit up, the familiar notification sounds distracting you from your task. You put your phone on DND, leaving it on one of Nayeon’s jewelry drawers as

your trembling hands held a small sealed package, filled with pills. You hated smoking — the smoke irritated your throat, and somehow you’d never gotten a high, so you found it awful. You despised the taste of alcohol too, often choosing not to drink during gatherings, which cooperated to your title of baby of the group.

Being naturally shy, and more reserved than the others — as well as the youngest, meant you’ve been protected your whole life. Whether it was your family, your members, or the staff, people have always been somehow gentle to you: giving you less revealing clothes, so you’d be comfortable, answering evasive questions in your place, giving you relationship advice and warnings in advance, protecting you from possible dispatch scandals… and most importantly, giving you the drug lecture. You’ve heard it countless times, about how drugs led to addiction and its side effects destroyed people’s lives, along with their loved ones.

But Nayeon used them, and you were sure the other girls were no saints, either. You were all grown women, aware of your actions. Besides, didn’t you deserve peace? You’ve asked Nayeon about what it felt like before, which was why you were sure it was just what you needed.

An escape, something to distract yourself from the rage and the pain, to have you relax for a bit. What were some substances to a body that was already filled with numbness? You just wanted it all to stop, to not feel so overwhelmed. You wanted to be a better idol, a better daughter, a better friend. But you knew that, for such thing to happen, you’d have to be born again; to be someone else.

You could never be anything but mediocre.

That was the reason, even though you were afraid, you still gathered some pills in your hands, looking at them with tears in your eyes. You struggled to breathe, and you lacked courage.

Even that you couldn’t do. A coward — no, you refused to be called that. With a deep sigh, you took a single one, at first.

I did nothing to ease your nerves. You were curious, and so desperately wanted the thoughts to stop, so you took another handful of them. You had never taken anything before, you had no idea how it worked. You expected something immediate, brief but strong, but instead, you just felt the usual numbness. Worse than that, you were starting to overthink about what such substances would do to you. Were you that useless that they didn’t work?

Instead of feeling light and bubbly, you simply felt like you had to throw up. Your entire body was prickling, and your long nails furiously scratched your skin in hopes I’d stop. There wasn’t enough air — as if you forgot how to breathe. It was a mechanic movement, and it terrified you, having to remember to recharge your lungs at every second. Despite the cold, your palms started sweating, and you felt sore and dizzy.

This wasn’t at all how you’d envisioned it. The thoughts were not gone, they’ve worsened, instead. They passed like flashes through your head, a million possible outcomes being presented to you through horrible insights, like you were a character living a thousand lives.

It terrified you. You didn’t want any of it anymore. It was all a terrible mistake.

After what felt like hours, you managed to get up from where you had been kneeling all this time. Balance had left your body, and you felt truly sorry for breaking one of the pretty vases that hung near the tv in your unnie’s room, as well as tearing down many little objects she had left dangling through her drawers. Leaning on anything you could see with your shitty vision, the ground moved like you were in a roller coaster.

You’d have to apologize for making her room even messier, later. Great; one more thing to feel guilty about.

Somehow, you managed to reach her on-suite bathroom. Your hands were now vigorously shivering, a clear message you were not well in the slightest. You needed it to stop, to do something, anything. Feeling heavy with regret, and desperation, you opened her mirror to reach out for your other option: Nayeon’s sleeping pills. Surely, sleeping through all this mess would make it pass quickly. You’d deal with all the consequences later. At the moment, you only needed to rest.

The medicine worked: you felt better instantly, no longer like you were going to throw up at any instant. Calming down, you were able to think clearly, although your heartbeat echoed loudly through the silent house. For the first time in weeks, you stared at yourself through the mirror.

The girl that started back scared you. Your hair lacked its usual thickness and shine. Your eyes were dull, lifeless, with heavy eyebags. And you were thin, so much your current clothes looked huge under yourself, as if they were someone else’s.

Maybe they were.

Those were your last thoughts before the world went pitch black. You lost control of your legs, and slowly felt your body getting closer to the ground. The world finally went silent, and it felt like you’d finally rest.

-

Nayeon knew something was wrong from the moment you called her.

Her nervousness only went further once the doorman confirmed to her that you had indeed gone to her apartment, but he hadn’t seen you leave ever since. In her heart, she already knew what was up.

Just refused to acknowledge it.

“Y/n?” Momo’s voice reverberated through the cold open area of her duplex’s first floor, not getting any response.

It’s okay. She told herself, trying to calm her heart, that felt like was going to fall from her chest. Y/n’s always been quiet. It’s okay. She’s okay.

Both women walked slowly to Nayeon’s master bedroom, looking at each other briefly before entering the room. The oldest gave Momo a faint nod before opening the door, unsure of what to expect.

Her room was normal, as much as it could be. It was a mess, naturally — her mess, but something felt.. off. There were a few things splashed on the ground that she was sure that were not her doing, and… her vase was broken?

What had Y/n done?

The lights of the closet were still on, so it was were she rushed, not looking back to see if Momo would follow. Truthfully, she hoped her friend and ex roommate didn’t.

She sighed in relief once she didn’t find the maknae in the room, but the scenery was not what she was prepared to see. Her drugs, the ones she’d hidden so carefully were all messy on the ground, in all the possible places.

It clicked, then. Your questions, the innocent curiosity whenever you’d mention about it… Nayeon suddenly felt so, so stupid. And deeply worried, too. She felt her rapid breathing as her shaky fingers shoved the drugs back to the drawer, a single question roaming like a silent scream inside her head.

Where was her baby maknae?

Nayeon didn’t have to wait long, though. A terrified scream followed her worried thoughts, confirming her deepest fears.

She didn’t want to look. Couldn’t master the courage to do so.

With her mouth dry, she forced herself to get up and follow Momo’s gasps. The sight presented to herself was one she was sure she’d see in her nightmares every day until she died.

It would haunt her forever.

Momo laid beside your fragile frame on the ground, vomit splashed in your shiny, porcelain ground. Nayeon didn’t mind that — she’s taken care of her members while they were passed out drunk many times, but what terrified was the way your body moved, limp yet frantic, a pool of white foam leaving your mouth while your eyes, while and lifeless, showed no signs of conscience.

She’s had a bad seizure. They doctors would explain to Nayeon, later.

It looked like hell on earth. Her baby, shaking so much there was blood on your head, hurt from the repetitive movements.

“U-unnie?” Momo’s voice faltered, her body covering half of the tragedy. It was selfish, but she was grateful for that. That she hadn’t seen it all. “Call the ambulance.” She was crying, Nayeon noticed, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t think, couldn’t move — she was useless, frozen, unable to do anything to help.

Momo’s hands went to your hands, trying to lock your arms in attempts of making you stop moving so aggressively and stop hurting yourself, even in your unconsciousness. “Unnie? Ambulance. NOW.”

Momo’s desperate tone is what brings Nayeon back from her trance. Her movements are mechanic, and she has no memory of the words she’d told the operator.

The only thing Nayeon truly remembers is holding Momo’s hands in the way to the hospital, as salty tears clouded her face. The paramedics screams were nothing in her ears, muffled by the loud banging inside her mind, with only one thing she was sure of.

She was to blame.

[rd0265667]

Nayeon x Reader: It's always you

Permanent Taglist: @cwpiqwon @justme-idle

A/N: Does this make complete sense? Not exactly A/N2: Also, thanks to my illusion bois for helping me proofread/helping me do this(my bad @alcoholfreenayeon, ms spout is not gonna do well in this fic)

"Hey Babe, Happy 2nd Anniversary. You're finally awake, what were you dreaming about? You were mumbling, and smiling a lot" Nayeon whispers after leaving a kiss on your forehead. She saw your eyes flutter open, stretching your arms groggily. “You. It’s always you.” You mumble with a sheepish smile, Nayeon playfully giggling before flicking you on the forehead.

“Flirt.” Nayeon said with a blush, yelping as you suddenly wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her back onto the bed with you. After a short while of tussling, Nayeon finally got up. “Alright get up, We can’t spend the whole of our anniversary in bed.” Nayeon goes to her dresser, tying her hair up into a ponytail before reaching around her drawers. “Why not, I’d think we’d enjoy that very much.” You say, earning you a shirt to the face. “I will spray you with the hose.” Nayeon chides, but still unable to hide her smile in the mirror. “Besides, I’ve made plans for our 2nd anniversary seeing as we’re both on leave.” Nayeon said as she began her makeup routine. “Oh, do tell.” You say, wrapping your arms around her midriff, throwing her into a back hug as you rested your chin on her shoulder. “No spoilers, but I guarantee you’re in for a surprise.”  Nayeon said, leaning her head toward yours. “I swear, if we’re going to that one restaurant where I accidentally ordered the most spicy instead of the least and didn’t want to return it,  I’-” You began, but you were quickly stopped by a finger to the lip. “No need for swearing, my dear, and we’re having dinner there.” Nayeon said, sticking her tongue out as you rolled your eyes. “Well good luck then, you’ll be eating dinner with someone wearing a penguin mask.” You retorted, causing Nayeon to scrunch her nose in confusion. “What penguin mask? Oh, you mea- I swear to god you’ve been spending too much time with Mina.” Nayeon replied, a look of mock horror as you waved the penguin mask in front of Nayeon. “If I see that mask in our car later, I’m locking you out.” Nayeon retorts, causing you to make a theatrical gesture of placing the mask on, eliciting a face palm from Nayeon. “I don’t know why I married you sometimes.” Nayeon playfully jabbed. “Because you love me.” You say, before making a cacophony of weird penguin noises. “You’re right, because you’re my weirdo.”

The day went by in a breeze, almost a whirlwind of nostalgia and fun to be had. The date began with a trip to the beach, where you had first met Nayeon, who, despite her fear of the sea, was peer pressured into going for a swim with Jihyo and Sana, and promptly ran away from the sea, where she had fallen for you, both metaphorically and physically. Your back was bruised for a week, but on the bright side, you got a bruised back and her number, so you called it a win and moved on. The day continued with a bicycle ride through a nearby park followed by a picnic, the park where the two of you had your first date. Nayeon even went all out to recreate the exact date, the same picnic mat, the same burritos you had(that she made herself. She insists it's not as good, you know for a fact that it's amazing), everything short of time travelling and bringing you back to the exact day of your first date. After that picnic lunch, the final destination before dinner was a recreation centre, where the two of you engaged in sports like pool, darts, axe throwing, all of which she had lost to you. (She insists she was being chivalrous, you’re on the fence about that) “What a day.” You say with a tired but still jovial tone. “Day’s not over bub.” Nayeon says as she starts the car. As the car coasted down the highway, the two of you belting whatever songs were being played on the radio. Just as the two of you were singing out, you felt a strong jerk forward, the car spinning rapidly as you crashed into the road barrier. The events that soon came next were hazy, your ears ringing and feeling blood trickle down your forehead. You felt arms wrap around you, dragging you out of the car. “I’ve got you baby.” Was the little you could hear as you saw Nayeon above you, in much worse shape than you were, but she persevered as she dragged you out of the car wreckage, an unholy meld of your black sedan and the other’s blue van, collapsing just as she pulled you out to safety. The next hours were a whirlwind of chaos, as the ambulance arrived, whisking both you and Nayeon to the hospital. After some scans and treatments, the doctor diagnosed that your injuries were rather minimal, and that you would just need to stay for a short while for monitoring. “That’s good to hear Doc. How’s Nayeon? The lady I came in with.” You asked. “Oh, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but it’s not looking good. Her side of the car hit the barrier so she bore the brunt of the impact. She has pretty severe internal injuries, and the doctors are planning a surgery now. “Where is she?” You quickly asked, trying to get up from your bed, but your body still weak from the crash, you barely got one foot on the ground before you almost collapsed. “You can’t leave yet, your body is still weak.” “Doc, I need to see her, please.” You plead, as the doctor hesitated for a moment, before agreeing, bringing you a wheelchair. As you were wheeled to Nayeon’s ward, you began to hear rapid beeping from Nayeon’s ward. That couldn’t be good. A whole horde of doctors and nurses quickly swarmed into the room, though you were forced to stay out of the room. It was all going to be okay, you kept repeating to yourself, but as time passed, you felt hope slipping away, especially as you peered into the ward, seeing Nayeon’s lifeless body being shocked, an attempt to kickstart her heart.

“Time of Death, 2208.” You heard the doctor say, and you felt your world crash around you.

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t even think. As you sat in the wheelchair, your mind flashed back to the last time you had seen her. When she had pulled you out of the wreckage. The doctor said she had suffered much worse injuries than you did. But…she still saved you, she still pushed herself to the limit, exerted herself to make sure you weren’t in danger. Could that exertion have killed her? “Are you related to the patient?” The doctor asked as she walked out of Nayeon’s ward

“She is…was my wife.” Was all you could say before being overwhelmed by a tidal wave of emotions. “Oh, I’m really sorry for your loss. She fought hard, but during the crash, she suffered numerous internal injuries. She suffered an injury to the chest during the injury that caused damage to her heart. We were able to stabilise her for a short while, but eventually her heart gave up. I’m really sorry for your loss.” The doctor said, bowing slightly before walking away. “You can see her if you want?” The doctor who wheeled you here asked. “It was my fault.” You could only whisper. If it was Nayeon’s heart that gave out, then her saving you was most likely what killed her. Looking out of the window with tears in your eyes, you noticed a shooting star. Or was it falling. Like Nayeon, a fallen angel, a fallen star, the love of your life. Oh, what you would give up to save her. At that moment, the star froze in the sky. Everything froze, the beeping in the monitors stopped, the chatter of the nurses stopped. You looked around in confusion, what in the world was happening? Through the frozen bodies, a child walked through the crowd of bodies, a small packet of chips in hand. “Hey kid, do you know what’s going on?” You ask, realising that the only ones not frozen were you and the kid. “Watch who you’re calling kid, I’m like a thousand years old!” The kid snorted. “What?” You asked in confusion. This all felt like a fever dream. What was this kid talking about? “Duh, you wished upon a shooting star, all that nonsense, now here I am. You get one wish. Make it quick, these things have validation periods and they’re a bitch if you stall.” You look at the child in confusion, but the possibilities swarm your mind. Could you bring back Nayeon from the dead? “I can’t bring her back. Not in any way that you’d want anyways.” The child says, seemingly having read your mind. “Can I go back in time to save her then? Let me wake up this morning again, and let me sleep to go back again.” You ask the child, and the child looks at you with a little concern. “Are you sure you want to make this wish. Go back to this morning, and loop yourself. I’m not permitted to give you ideas for other wishes, but I hope you think through this clearly.” “I’m sure.” You say resolutely. Anything for Nayeon. “Alright, if you insist. What was the first thing you did or said today?” The child asked, a piece of paper appearing in his hand.

“I said to Nayeon, “You, it’s always you.”” You tell the child, looking at him in confusion. “Alright, listen to me carefully. Once the loop begins, you will be looped to this morning, but you won’t have control over anything until your first action. Thankfully, it was this morning so you have the whole day to do what you need. Before time can continue and you continue on your looped day, you need to say the first thing you said. Only then will the day continue. But until you do, you’ll be trapped in that moment.” The kid explains to which you nod

“Wait, how-” You were about to ask, but with a snap of a finger, you woke up in bed once again

And the Cycle begins

Day 2

"Hey Babe, Happy 2nd Anniversary. You're finally awake, what were you dreaming about? You were mumbling, and smiling a lot" Nayeon whispers after leaving a kiss on your forehead. You wanted to throw Nayeon into a hug, but you found yourself locked in place. After a short struggle, you remembered what the kid had said. “You. It’s always you.” You say to Nayeon,  who playfully giggles before flicking you on the forehead. Worried, you quickly pull her into a hug. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” You mutter under your breath. Hearing this, Nayeon’s playful demeanour disappeared in a second, quickly sitting on the bed next to you, holding both your hands in hers. “Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?” Nayeon asked, before putting her hand to your cheek, gently caressing it in an attempt to calm you down. “Yeh, a nightmare. Something like that.” You muttered under your breath. “Well, whatever that nightmare was, you don’t need to worry, I’m here, I’ll always be here alright?” Nayeon whispered, her hand patting your back. She was right. You were going to make this alright. Taking a deep breath, you pull Nayeon toward you, leaving a long kiss on her forehead. “Thank you, my love.” You say, collecting your thoughts. You had to act normal. You did not know what little errant act of yours would alter the day in unforeseen ways, and you weren’t sure if that alteration would be better or worse. Besides, once you saved Nayeon, you didn’t want this day to be one where she had all her plans for your second anniversary ruined. You’d just save her before the car crash. “Everything okay now?” Nayeon asked worriedly. “Of course, let’s go get dressed, we have a long day ahead. I assume you have plans for the day?” You asked, causing Nayeon to smile in excitement, almost jumping for joy on the bed. “Definitely, We can’t spend the whole of our anniversary in bed.” Nayeon goes to her dresser, tying her hair up into a ponytail before reaching around her drawers. “Why not, I’d think we’d enjoy that very much.” You say, earning you a shirt to the face. Good, everything was going as it was. The day proceeded as expected, the beach, the park, the recreation centre, everything. Then, came the moment where everything had gone wrong. “Hey Babe, I’ll drive. Just key in the location.” You say as the two of you left the recreation centre. “So you can uncover my final surprise? Nuh uh.” Nayeon said, sticking her tongue out, causing you to giggle. “I know it’s THAT restaurant.” You say, causing Nayeon to pout. “Aish, did Jihyo tell you?” She asked, to which you shrugged. “Ugh, fine.” Nayeon said, tossing you the keys as you got in the car. As you drove down the highway, you and Nayeon sang the songs that came up on the Radio. But as you were driving, an all too familiar song popped up. The song you were waiting for. As soon as you heard that song, you began to nervously glance in the mirrors, trying to spot the van. Soon enough, it pulled up upon the horizon. The van was speeding, and fast. Keeping an eye on it, just as you saw the van reach you, you quickly swerved out of the way. “What was that?” Nayeon asked, hand grasping the handle at the ceiling of the car. “I did it.” You exhaled to yourself. “Babe look out!” You heard Nayeon shout, seeing a motorcycle on the wrong side of the road, speeding towards you. The crash was not as major as the previous one. But it was more than enough to cause damage. After the collision, the motorcyclist and his bike flipped, crashing into the car, the impact of which knocking you out, the last thing you heard being the distressed screams of Nayeon. Waking up in the hospital, you sat up with a splitting headache, an IV drip stuck into your hand. “What happened?” You lightly groaned as you asked the doctor next to you, before noticing Nayeon in the bed next to you, swarmed with doctors

“What's happening?” You try to ask, but your injuries stripped you of any energy to even speak out. “Hands off. Clear.” You heard, and realisation dawned upon you. No. This couldn’t be happening again. “Time of Death, 2208.” You heard the doctor say, and you felt your world crash around you, all over again “How could this happen?” You mutter to yourself. You couldn’t let this happen again.

Day 3 "Hey Babe, Happy 2nd Anniversary. You're finally awake, what were you dreaming about? You were mumbling, and smiling a lot" Nayeon whispers after leaving a kiss on your forehead. You knew what had to be done this time. “You, it’s always you.” You say, leaning onto Nayeon with a sigh. “Are you alright?” Nayeon asked worriedly. “I just need a hug for a moment.” You whisper, Nayeon nodding as she holds you closer.

Okay, you anticipated not succeeding right away, you just had to try again

.

.

.

“Hey Babe, I’ll drive. Just key in the location.” You say as the two of you left the recreation centre. “So you can uncover my final surprise? Nuh uh.” Nayeon said, sticking her tongue out, causing you to give her a small smile. “Jihyo told me.” You stuck your tongue out at her, causing her to roll her eyes. “Ugh, fine.” Nayeon said, tossing you the keys as you got in the car. As you drove, Nayeon began to sing the song on the radio, but instead of turning down the highway, you continued along a different route. “We’re talking about the same restaurant right? Shouldn’t we go by the highway? If we go this way, we’re only going one big round, no?” Nayeon asked, looking at you in confusion. “Just wanted to take the scenic route.” You reply, fingers tensing around the steering wheel. “Are you okay, baby? We can go to another restaurant if you’re uncomfortable. I just thought we could have a laugh there, but if you don’t like it…” Nayeon trailed off, seemingly associating your bad mood with her choice of dinner location. “No baby, its not that, I promise.” You reply, eyes still darting about “Pinky promise?” Nayeon said in that voice, the voice you knew, and she knew, you couldn’t resist. “Of course baby.” You say with a smile, left hand extending your pinky out, Nayeon smiling as her pinky hooked yours. Your heart threatened to jump out of your chest all through the drive there.Whenever a car so much as crossed your periphery, your mind immediately thought, how is this car going to mess with me. But through the ride, nothing happened. It was safe. Words could not describe your relief as you finally parked at the restaurant. “Baby, is everything alright? You’ve been acting weird ever since we began driving here.” Nayeon asked you while in line at the registration counter. “Just was a little paranoid. Heard about a few too many car accidents recently, so I was a little on edge.” You replied, Nayeon shooting you a weird look. There hadn’t been any news about that recently. As you were about to get to your turn at the registration counter, you saw a woman in a hoodie walking out of the restaurant, suddenly bumping into you. Without a word, she hastened her stride, and runs off. “What the hell was that?” Nayeon asked, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know, something wrong with that one probably. Ignore her, lets enjoy dinner.” You say, Nayeon smiling, nodding as she gave you a kiss on the cheek before walking into the restaurant with you. Once you were at your seats, you began to read through the menu. While you were reading the menu, however, you extended your leg, accidentally kicking a bag. That was odd. Looking down, you noticed a small bag on the ground. “Hi, Sir?” You raised your hand, beckoning a waiter over to you. “Hi, are you ready to order?” The waiter asked, taking out a small notepad. “Not yet, there’s a bag here, I think a previous client left it here.” “I’ll look into it.” The server picked the bag up, slowly walking over to the main counter. Looking at the bag, Nayeon’s eyebrows furrowed. She had noticed some wires protruding from the bag, and she heard a faint ticking sound… Nayeon’s eyes widened in realisation, especially hearing the ticking sound grow faster. “Get down!” Nayeon shouted, lunging at you, using her hand to keep your body low, draping her body over yours. Before your could even be confused, you heard a loud boom, the force pushing you to the ground. As the dust settled, chairs and tables in a frenzied disarray, you felt yourself get pulled onto a stretcher, your mind still a mess. Through all the mess, you were set down next to an ambulance, paramedics swarming the area, tending to the wounded. Seeing as you didn’t suffer any serious injuries, you were left there, pretty low on the priority list. Looking around, you tried to find her, but all of a sudden, through all the noise, as if a mocking tune meant to twist the knife in your heart “Im Nayeon, Time of Death, 2208.”

Day 4

"Hey Babe, Happy 2nd Anniversary. You're finally awake, what were you dreaming about? You were mumbling, and smiling a lot" Nayeon whispers after leaving a kiss on your forehead. Your mind was still a mess. It seemed like the universe was conspiring to kill the love of your life. Well, not if you had anything to say about it. Because you’d try over, and over, and over again, until Nayeon was finally safe “You, it’s always you.” You whisper

.

.

.

.

.

.

Day ???

"Hey Babe, Happy 2nd Anniversary. You're finally awake, what were you dreaming about? You were mumbling, and smiling a lot" Nayeon whispers after leaving a kiss on your forehead. “You, it’s always you.” You say, a tone that all but said you were defeated. “I’ve gotta go.” You say, quickly getting up from the bed, going to get dressed. “Don’t you remember what today is?” Nayeon asked, parts shocked, parts angry. Looking at her, your eyelids drooped, and you looked absolutely defeated. “This is a throwaway day anyways. I’ll see you at the hospital.” You sigh, walking out of your apartment.

Walking to the bar, you went towards an unmarked room, pounding your fist against the door. “Open up dipshit, it’s me, Y/N. Don’t say you’re busy, don’t say come back later, I’m not in the mood.” You shout out. Opening the door, the aforementioned dipshit stuck his head out of the door. “Have I become that predictable? And of course, come on in.” He said, a hand gesturing into the room. “Also, do me a favour, tell your secretary that you’ll be receiving a call in roughly 37 minutes, just tell him to come back another time.” You say, crashing onto the couch. Looking at you in confusion, he finally nodded, texting his secretary, then sitting opposite to you. “Groundhog day, Nayeon, I’m going insane.” You say, the three pieces of information being enough for the other man. “That explains a lot. What’s the sitch?” He asked, pulling a whiteboard from the side of his office out. “I’ve tried everything. No matter what I do, Nayeon ends up dying in the hospital, Time of death, 2208.” You say with a sigh, hanging your head low.

“Oookay, you my friend, need a drink.” He said, sliding you a shot of gin. “No, I need to have my head on straight for this one. I need to brainstorm a way to save Nayeon.” You decline. “Alright, tell me the details, we’ll try to plan something.”  He said, patting you on the back. “I know what Nayeon means to you. We’ll figure this out alright?” He said, to which you nodded, though masking a considerable amount of doubt. The same amount you’ve had the last 20 times you were here. “Hang on.” You raise a hand, halting him in his step as you pulled out a piece of paper. Scribbling around 30 or so lines down, you handed the paper to him. “What’s this?” He asked, scanning through the paper “Your last 30 ideas.” You deadpanned, letting out a sigh. A look of realisation dawned upon him. “Oh, we have a mountain to climb then.”

“Alright, so what happens if you go home after the recreation centre then?” “We get robbed, the robber's a trigger happy little shit. Tried it out like 20 different ways, no matter what I arm myself with, even calling the cops, the robber can’t miss. In another life, she’d probably be a sniper.” You sighed. “If you drive around?” “Car crash, blue van, black SUV, a goddamn 5 tonner. You name it, it crashed into me. When I don’t crash, I’m not kidding when I say this, we get crushed by a landslide.” 

“Okay okay, scrap that, what’s the furthest you’ve gotten in your day without getting into an accident.” He asked, fingers massaging his forehead. “The loop is similar to the second one. I ran out of ideas, so I went back with that plan. I took the wheel, and we drove to the restaurant that we originally booked, but I took a roundabout way. We got there without an accident, but once we got there, surprise surprise, there was a bomb there. There was this one lady who bumped into me, dressed shady as hell, she’s the one who planted the bomb. I tried to take her down once, but that just resulted in the bomb blowing up earlier and killing Nayeon all the same. For this one, I called the cops prior, and they had cleared the place, successfully apprehended the criminal, then disposed of the bomb.  Then, surprise surprise, the damn restaurant caught on fire. That’s the furthest I ever made it. This is the closest to 2208 I can make it without Nayeon injured or in the hospital, but that fire was too big, I couldn’t get Nayeon out of it fast enough without the fumes getting to her or us getting trapped under debris. There were other similar situations like this at the restaurant, but there’s usually some minor differences. Once, the bomber’s friends came back to shoot the place up, the other time, some stupid ass kid ran into Nayeon and she fell, hitting her head.” “Okay, Okay, so we work off of that. Tomorrow, before you start your little date adventure, call me. Tell me code black, and tell me what to do. I’ll get some of the boys to prepare. We know this route can go wrong in a few ways. So, first, call the cops, secure the bomber. That much is obvious. Continue the date as is. We can’t really prevent the fire, given we don’t work there, but I’ll get Samuel there with a fire extinguisher. He’ll hand it off to you before you go in, along with some gas masks. Wouldn’t want the fumes to mess you up. For the shooters, I’ll have some of my boys guard outside, they see any rolling, they’ll call the cops. And for the dumbass kid. Well, just trip him if you see him.” He shrugged, causing you to nod. You knew there was no way to cover all your bases. The universe would try to throw anything it could at you, but this would work. “Alright, thanks bro.” You say, pulling him into a hug “No problem. I know I won’t remember this, but you should go visit mom soon, she’s been pretty bored recently.” He said, tightly embracing you. Once out of the hug, he put his hand on your shoulder. “This is gonna work, kid. Have faith alright? But, y’know, stay on your toes too.” He said with a small smile. “I really hope so, because I really don’t know how many more of these loops I can take before going insane.” You say, letting out a hoarse chuckle. “And, 3,2,1.” You say, looking at your watch. Right on cue, your phone began to ring. With a sigh, you picked up the phone. “Yes Natasha? Don’t worry how I know your name, yes, I’m Mrs Nayeon’s partner, I’ll be there in a short while.” You say, then hanging up the phone. “After this loop ends, Drinks on me.” He patted you on the back. “I look forward to it.”

Day ???+1

"Hey Babe, Happy 2nd Anniversary. You're finally awake, what were you dreaming about? You were mumbling, and smiling a lot" Nayeon whispers after leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

“You, it’s always you.” You say, leaning onto Nayeon with a sigh. “Are you alright?” Nayeon asked worriedly. “I just need a hug for a moment.” You whisper, Nayeon nodding as she holds you closer.

As you leaned on Nayeon’s shoulder, you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. Today was the day. You were going to save Nayeon today. “Hey babe, you can go get dressed first, I gotta call Darius” You said, Nayeon nodding. “Alright babe, say Hi to him for me.” Nayeon said with a hum, walking to her dresser. “Code Black, I’ll send you the details.” “Roger that.”

After typing out what you had discussed with Darius, you sent it to him, getting a thumbs up from him. “Hey babe, how do I look?” Nayeon asked, drawing your attention. She stood there, twirling around with that cute smile on her face. “Perfect, as always.”

.

.

.

“Nay, I gotta go take a call, can you wait for me by the car?” You ask, Nayeon nodding Once Nayeon was out of earshot, you took your phone out, dialling the police.

.

.

“Hey Babe, I’ll drive. Just key in the location.” You say as the two of you left the recreation centre. “So you can uncover my final surprise? Nuh uh.” Nayeon said, sticking her tongue out, causing you to give her a small smile. “Jihyo told me.” You stuck your tongue out at her, causing her to roll her eyes. “Ugh, fine.” Nayeon said, tossing you the keys as you got in the car.

As you drove, Nayeon began to sing the song on the radio, though pausing as she noticed you turning to the longer route. “We’re talking about the same restaurant right? Shouldn’t we go by the highway? If we go this way, we’re only going one big round, no?” Nayeon asked, looking at you in confusion. “Just taking the more Scenic route babe, don’t worry about it.” You say with a small smile.

As expected, much to your delight, the ride there was a smooth one, though your mental preparations for the upcoming dinner from hell caused you to tense up quite a little. Reaching the restaurant, Nayeon’s eyebrow furrowed. “Hmm, why are there so many police cars?” Nayeon looked around curiously. “Maybe there was some disputes here. They’re leaving now, so we should be fine.” You reassure Nayeon, who nods. Walking out to the counter, you see Samuel, a friend of Darius’, someone you had seen in passing but never really interacted with. “The package has been set under your table. Here are the masks, godspeed my friend.” Samuel says, handing you the small pouch. You quickly take it, grabbing them and shoving them into your pocket. “Thank you so much for this.” You thank Samuel, who returned a small smile. “Anytime.”

“Who was that just now? At the counter?” Nayeon asked as she browsed through the menu “Oh, just a friend of Darius’. We were just exchanging pleasantries.” You reply, Nayeon seemingly satisfied with this answer. Looking around the restaurant, you seeked to remove the first and most minute possibility of messing up. “Hey kid.” You beckon the boy over to you. “Here’s 10$, do me a favour, stay seated at your table alright?” You whisper, the boy nodding, taking the money before running back to his seat. “You’re acting weird today.” Nayeon said in a joking tone, but you knew there was some serious concern behind that. “Don’t worry about it babe, let’s order.” You reassure her. As the dinner went on surprisingly incident free, for now at least, you got a message from Darius. “All clear so far. Besides, I heard on the news that the cops had made a big arrest on some of the members associated with the bombers, so you’re only left with the fire. Good luck.” As if a goddamn hex had been placed, almost instantaneously, you heard shouts from the kitchen, followed by some sparks. “Babe, I need you to listen to me very carefully, I need you to do exactly as I say for the next 5 minutes alright? Put this mask on.” You say to her, quickly taking the masks from your pocket. Nayeon looked in fear at the flames that were rapidly spreading, looking to you and nodding. “Stay behind me, and when I say run for the exit, run.” You say, taking the bag off the fire extinguisher. “How did y-” “Question for another time, let’s go!” You say, standing up as you pulled the pin on the fire extinguisher, spraying the gas at the sources of fire around you. As you were putting out the flames around you, your main priority was to put out the flames leading to the door, aiming to make a safe passage for Nayeon and other people in the restaurant. “Go!” You shout out, Nayeon making a dash for the exit, you follow close as you continue extinguishing the fire around you. When you were just about to reach the exit, you heard a loud creak, seeing the banner above Nayeon about to fall. “No!” You scream out, lunging at her, draping your body over hers. The large banner crashed upon your back, knocking you unconscious, your last thought before you blacked out, a jumbled slurry of fear and pain.

“Can you hear me?” You heard a doctor ask as you were slowly regaining consciousness. “Yeh doc, I can hear you.” You groggily reply, before your mind immediately sharpened. “Where’s Nayeon? My wife.” You ask, before hearing a cough to your side. “Look around sometimes, baby.” Nayeon said weakly, though with a smile on her face. “No, No.” You mutter, the memories of your first loop rushing in to your mind. “Nay, are you alright? Are you feeling off in any way?” You quickly ask. “Other than a mild concussion and some scrapes, I’m fine, thanks to you. My hero.” Nayeon said, a smile on her face. You looked around in confusion, till you finally saw it. 2210. You had made it. “Yes!” You exclaim in excitement, before your wounds promptly put you back on the bed. “Calm down my friend. So, about your injury. We’ve done some scans, nothing serious, but we’d still like to keep you for observation for one day. And, it was very heroic what you did there, not just saving your wife, but you and the fire extinguisher. I heard from the other patrons who I attended to earlier, if not for you, most of them would have died in there, but thanks to you, the worst injury someone suffered was a mild burn. So, great job, and rest up.” The doctor smiled, gently patting you on the back before leaving the ward. “So, my hero, mind telling me how you had those masks ready for us? And that fire extinguisher too?” Nayeon asked, curious. “Story for another day my love, for now, let’s just rest, alright? And, happy 2nd.” You say, causing Nayeon to chuckle. “What an eventful 2nd anniversary it’s been.” She says, to which you smirk. “You have no idea. Good night babe.” You say, before shutting your eyes, a smile as you could already feel the beautiful horizon of the next day to come, it’s rays shining upon you

.

.

. As your eyes slowly opened, you shook your head a little, as if coming out of a headache"Hey Babe, Happy 2nd Anniversary." Nayeon whispers after leaving a kiss on your forehead, the rest unintelligible due to your still addled mind “Babe, what are you talking about, it’s not our anniversary anymore?” You tried to say, still not fully comprehending what she had said. But as you said it, you found that you couldn’t move. And you weren’t in the hospital, you were at home, time frozen as the exact scenario you’ve woken up to hundreds upon hundreds of times played out the exact same way as before. No, it can’t be. You won. You, against all odds, had finally found a way to save Nayeon. You did it. Right? As you were stuck there, frozen, a horrible realisation dawned upon you.

“You. It’s always you.”

[multiphandomunnies]

Twice reactions

crush confessing

bf is an actor

bf is a cop

bf is a tattoo artist

*T* bf used to self harm

bf is a doctor

bf is a wizard

s.o is a scientist

bf is a bartender

bf is a nerd

bf surprises them with dinner

bf plays for the european clubs

how twice would kiss

bf is a horror author

their tough bf is crying

bf exercising

s.o has a dream about losing them

s.o works late

bf feels insecure

coming how to their gf asleep in her books

s.o makes something special

how would twice wake you up

showering with you *J line *

how twice would comfort you

bf in public

bf watches anime

haunted house au

receiving a gift from their crush

high school au

youtuber au

sana’s bday

haunted house au part 2

angel/demon au

s.o drinks a lot of coffee

spending the day with s.o

seeing you reading a smut fic of them (*M*)

s.o has autism

s.o throwing them over their shoulder

s.o has a tattoo of their name

s.o sees them in a bathing suit

bf visits them at a fansign

gf wants a lot of kids

being embarrassed

gf has really bad period cramps

gf being cheesy in front of the members

haunted house au part 3

twice sleepover

idol gf faints

gf has a scar

seeing their gf naked

s.o is a leo

s.o fainting after a roller coaster ride

s.o is a sagittarius

s.o punches a stranger

another member likes gf

s.o being smaller

falling for a foreigner

s.o send inappropriate photo

you using a strap on(*M*)

s.o playing an instrument

partner moves in

gf has low self esteem

finds out crush is trans

twice as little sisters

gf is a terrible dancer

have wet dream about their s.o

not wearing panties (*M*)

finding out gf is related to got7

little sister is debuting as an idol

gf compliments another member a lot

s.o says i love you for the first time

s.o is in cosplay

watching a horror film with s.o

haunted house au part 4

s.o has abs

gf cuts her hair short

hurting their s.o and regretting it

seeing their s.o working extremely hard

as types of yandere

s.o is the leader of a secret organization

gf is an idol producer

they think their bf is cheating on them

[nr1chaedickrider]

'Cold hands'

First Love with Nayeon

- angsty but turns into fluff, kinda talking about homophobia in the beginning?? (just the whole im scared of others to hear it thing)

_______________________________________

Confessing your love for her was probably somehow the most difficult thing in your life. The fear of rejection, of judgment, actually of everything, it was always there. What if she will hate me? What if she never wants to be friends with me again? Something like that was always in your head, for years. But those thoughts disappeared the moment Nayeon said:

"I love you"

She left after wiping away a tear from her cheek. You just stand there - in actually her apartment. You just couldn't live with the thoughts anymore, just wanted to get rid of it. You just started talking. How much this friendship is dragging you down and stuff, but Nayeon was hit harder than you thought.

You walk around her apartment a bit, walk to the dresser in the living room - pictures of you together, hugging, kissing eachother on the cheek, laughing together and so much more. You feel yourself smiling. And then it hits your head.

You really love her.

That moment actually showed you how much you actually like her.

"Shit," you mutter. You grab your jacket and put it on as fast as you can. You run out of the apartment, slamming the door behind you. She can only be at one place...

_______________________________________

"This is where I always go when I want to be alone"

She said as she showed you a bench in a park, her "comfort place" as she called it.

_______________________________________

It is dark when you arrive, you see the back of a person sitting on the bench. It can only be her.

"Nayeon" you call out. She doesnt move, continuing to stare at the water infront of her.

"I know you heard me" you walk towards the bench she is sitting on and sit down next to her. Except for the waves and some light gusts of wind, it is completely silent, your breathing not in time. "Are you serious?" you ask, it's soft, a low whisper that makes someone listen clearly to really hear it all.

"Why shouldn't I mean it?" she asks back, again in that quiet tone. As if there were people around you, but you are completely alone. The fear that the world will hear is too much. You are silent, she answers her question herself, "I didn't kiss you on the cheek all the time for fun. Or hugged you like no one else did. I kind of wanted to show it without having to...", she pauses, thinking about the right way to describe it, "..say it."

"Do you think they will loathe us?" you ask quietly, one could even think that you say it in a frightened tone.

"I don't know." she answers.

"Me? Maybe... problably. But you? I don't think so." she says, a soft sigh afterwards. A tear runs down your cheek.

Just tell her. Damn it, you know. Tell her.

Your thoughts are overwhelming you. Nayeon gets up and slowly walks away, you sit on the bench, not daring to move in any way. You stop breathing and just sit there.

You do love her. You know it. You are alone. Its just the two of you. What are you waiting for?

You do love her?

You love her.

You stand up, your legs moving faster than you can think.

"Nayeon!" you call after her, she is already further away, but you can still see her figure. The street is almost dark, with only a few streetlights left on. You run after her, and suddenly, you reach out. Your hand around her thin wrist. She stops, looking at you with a glance over her shoulder. Her eyes red from tears. You haven't even looked at her face once since she left you alone in her apartment.

"We could be seen-..it's better if you go.... I-I need time, alon-" you stop her from talking further.

You kiss her. Your lips on hers. Your hands on her cheeks.

You slowly pull away from her, taking a step back. You wipe your tear away from your face and smile at her.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do this," you say.

"I don't care if the others see it Nayeon" you take her hand and walk with her back to the bench. "I just want to be with you" you sit down on the bench.

"I know you said you come here to be alone, but how about we just be "alone" together?" you smile again. So does she. She breaks her silence. "That's a very good idea" she takes your hand in hers, your fingers stroking each other's.

It feels like you've always been this happy.

"I love you" you say, no longer in that strange, quiet, fearful tone.

"I love you too" replies Nayeon, loud and proud. You both laugh, your cold hands warming each other.

You could sit on that bench forever, away from everyone. Just the two of you on a very cold winter night, but it doesn't matter. You both have each other, and that is completely enough.

[happilychaengs]

nayeon - involved (rewrite)

wc: 1.2k

fluff, angst

a/n: i wrote this in like half an hour after waking up. sorry if it's bad

original

im nayeon. the girl who exuded worlds of confidence with every stride, parading around the hallways of the college along with you, the only one who could handle her obnoxious pride. she was the true it girl of the college, always getting what she wanted, no exceptions, because she was the one who was crowned queen and no one could take that from her.

nayeon stuck her fork up against her lips, eyes wandering across the cafeteria, "i want her."

you pick at your food, "what?"

you drop your fork as nayeon leans over the table and grabs your cheeks in her hands, tilting your head to the left, "see the girl with the short black hair?"

you swat nayeon's hands away as she clicks her tongue, your eyes glancing around, "are you talking about momo?" she was the girl second only to nayeon in terms of whatever hierarchy you had. the only true competition she had.

a soft sigh escapes her mouth as she takes a bite out of her food, "yes. her."

"really?" your head turns back to nayeon only to see her stare at you with such confusion and offense, "i mean doesn't she have a girlfriend already? i didn't expect you to be a homewrecker."

"so?" nayeon drops her fork as she stares back at momo, "not like it matters. look. no one's sitting next to her so they obviously broke up."

"i don't think that means-"

"it does to me."

you shake your head as you let nayeon talk to herself, mumbling on about how she'll make momo hers in quick time, though it's not what truly happened.

throughout the rest of the day, nayeon does her normal flirting with the girl of the week, but it doesn't go quite as planned. rumors spread as you caught sight of an immensely furious queen.

"that fucking bitch." nayeon swims in her sorrows, head almost ducking as people passed by her, though she would never admit it, "how could anyone reject me? especially in front of everyone!"

you give her a half-assed nod, as you mainly focus on your food, "yeah."

"seriously? are you even listening?" nayeon bites her tongue, holding back whatever insults she had because she knew you didn't take them well.

"i'm listening."

your eyes look up to meet nayeon's, though they're not looking your way. "i need to do something to make her regret it."

"what are you going to do then?"

you see the cogs turning in her head as she stares back at you, "do you think we can date for a while?"

you almost choked on your food, apologizing as people looked your way. "wh- what? are you fucking crazy?"

she laughs as she corrects herself, "i meant fake dating or whatever. a fake relationship, i guess."

"you guess?" she scoots a tad bit closer to you, "why not ask anyone else? they'd kill for that."

"exactly." nayeon rests her head on your shoulders and despite your heart almost beginning to hammer against your chest, you stay strong, "they would come crawling back to my doorstep once it'd be over, but i know nothing would change between us."

she sits upright, turning her head, "oh shit. she's looking over here. kiss me. quickly."

nayeon whips her head around to face you, hands already behind your neck. without a hint of approval from you, she brought your head in as she locked lips with you, you groaning into her mouth from the sudden motion. heads turn as you feel everyone's eyes on you, nayeon smirking into the kiss as she bit your bottom lip. you let out a small moan as she quickly disconnected, looking more than satisfied. "so that's a yes?"

you're left with the lingering taste of her strawberry chapstick, wiping your lips as you sigh, though your heart is frantically beating, "fuck you. as if you'd actually give me a choice."

she lets out a small smile as you rolled your eyes, "you know me too well."

and in that moment, you were officially nayeon's. at least for the time being.

in every single waking moment, nayeon would be glued by your hips, laughing and kissing with you every single chance she got. even when momo wasn't around, she would sneak her way into your dorm, going away to sneak a few kisses in the early morning.

"isn't-" a light kiss on your lips, "isn't this too much?" nayeon looks confused as she stays atop of you, her hands holding her above you.

"what? what are you talking about?" she kisses your lips again.

"i mean this... you don't need to do this." you slip from under her, standing up quickly, nayeon sitting down on your bed, "aren't we just a fake couple?"

she tilts her head, an almost innocent smile on her face, "does it matter? we're both just enjoying it anyways at this point." she stands up as she takes off her shirt. her hands move up your stomach as she kisses your lips, "you can skip your biology class, right? let's just enjoy it while we can."

and although you didn't realize it then, you were falling. falling into the deep, dark hole that was known as im nayeon. every single kiss, every single date, and every single intimate moment you two shared mattered to you. it all piled up but you knew you were nowhere close to the bottom.

"hey, y/n." nayeon sits on the edge of your bed, "you wouldn't... say you loved me, right?" there's an almost uncertainty in her voice, her eyes staring at the floor.

"... no." you sit up from your bed, eyes taking in nayeon for everything she was. "i wouldn't." though you would only begin to see a part of her as you kept telling her lies.

"okay." she has an almost fake smile across her lips as she bites her tongue, "let's break up then. momo finally showed some interest in me, so... let's end it. that was the whole point, right?"

"... yeah..." you take a deep breath as you stand up, back turned towards nayeon as she shut the door behind her. you couldn't bear seeing her right now.

you really might beg her to stay.

a few days have passed since then and nayeon has never looked happier. she kisses momo wholeheartedly any moment she gets, though, to you, it feels like she chooses to only kiss whenever she sees you. she does everything that she did with you from the stupid 5 am dates before classes to just outright skipping classes to have a bit of fun.

people pass by you as you sit alone, eating your food, gossiping that nayeon broke your heart to get with momo, and in reality, that's not far from the truth because she did. at least to you she did.

nayeon eventually sits with you, though she's looking at momo most of the time with stars in her eyes, "i wanted to say thank you, y/n."

she pulls out a small book from her bag, "i remember you said you wanted this while we were... together, so this is my thank you to you." call it what you want. you smile as you take it from nayeon, though you're sure you're throwing it away whenever you get the chance. you resented what you did too much to take it because, through every painstaking and heart-wrenching memory of her, you finally understood why.

why people said what they said when they fell victim to the queen.

"don't get involved with im nayeon."

[lesbiankpoplover]

Feel My Rhythm

★ 𝘐𝘥𝘰𝘭 𝘯𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘰𝘯 𝘟 𝘐𝘥𝘰𝘭 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳★ <6𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘙𝘦𝘥 𝘝𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘵> ★ 𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ~ 𝘍𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧/ 𝘚𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘚𝘮𝘶𝘵 * 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ~ 1193 ★

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

You were the biggest Nayeon stan and you so had a crush on her over any other idol but since you were a popular idol you had to keep that hidden. You never talked about twice and when they performed you stared blankly. So when you knew that both you and twice would be performing on the same award show you got excited but didn’t show it. The day of the award show came close your set would be right after twice so you thought you should make friends with them.

You got to the award show As You sat watching Twice perform their song “Talk That Talk” backstage with the makeup artist finishing up your look. It was soon time for Red velvet to perform so You headed over to the girls.

“You look great we’re all ready now” as Wendy had look you up and down, checking you out. You laughed and covered your mouth, “Ok ok you don’t have to boost my ego before we go on stage”. You both laughed heading out to the lift underneath the award show stage. You had past twice on your way bowing to them as you rushed over. All of the members got onto the lift as you all were pulled up, Fireworks blazed and the fog cleared out as “Feel My Rythem” had begin to play

After your set the crowd was cheering so loud as you could all hear it through your ear piece’s. Heading backstage to go back to your dressing room before heading to your seats for the remainder of the show. You had seen that twices dressing room was next to red velvets so when you came walking back in you were greeted by some member; Jihyo,Chaeyoung,momo,and Nayeon; you all bowed to each other congratulating that you all had such amazing performances. 

“We should totally take a picture for our fans” Jihyo had stated, she took out her phone and switched to her camera as we all posed. “Thank you so much we have to go now” seulgi said as she pulled my wrist. 

When we got back into our dressing room I couldn’t stop thinking about that photo, me and Nayeon were holding hands in the photo and she looked so cute. After we were done in the dressing room we walked back to our seats. We sat at a table with NCT before we sat down I had told the memebers i had to use the bathroom.

While walking toward the bathroom down the hall someone tapped on my shoulder, “Hello are you heading to the bathroom?” It was Nayeon (looking pretty as ever). “Ya you too” she nodded and we headed down towards the stalls. She held the door for me and since it was such a private area I decided to tell her something.

“so I’m a huge fan of you and I wanted to…” she cut you off “can I be honest” you looked puzzled as you didn’t say a thing. “I think your a very pretty girl and I’ve been a huge fan of you as well… and honestly I wanted to ask you on a date since we’re always seeing each other at these award shows you get more attractive every time and when I saw you walk off alone I thought this would be my chance”

“What about your company?” you questioned, “What about them they don’t have to know about us honestly there’s tons of couples in the kpop industry so what’s the harm”. You were both shocked and happy “I would totally date you we just have to keep this away from prying eyes”[Cough*cough*Dispatch] 

you both had walked together hand in hand after being done with the bathroom. As you were about to go through the door you realized that you can’t just walk out there. Nayeon caught on quick “I have to give best choreography award out so I’ll have to go to the upper platform to get on stage soon”

You nodded “ Alright let me give you my phone number” and that night was history after announcing all the awards. Twice had won that night and so did red velvet. 

A few years go by and you two are still together and are enjoying sneaking out and going places disguised. Soon you asked Nayeon to come to your house for dinner as you cooked

Later that night you were both stuffed as the clock struck 9:30 you yawned, “Do you want to stay over tonight as well I have an empty schedule all weekend” Nayeon rolled her eyes as she thought about her very busy schedule with the new release of “Set me free”[Go stream] “I can’t stay over tonight im super busy comeback season am I right” you got up and put both plates into the sink.

You sat on your kneees as you looked up at her, her outfit was beautiful the skirt was a hot pink that complimented her body very well and the matching crop jacket was so cute not to mention the lace bra top that was driving you crazy all night. You started to intrusive thoughts.

“What?” Nayeon didn’t realize that you were down here for a reason. You unzipped her skirt and slowly pulled it down. She grabbed onto your hair as she started to smirk, “you seemed super ready for this” you started to get flustered but instead you pulled her skirt all the way down and sat rubbing her clit through her black lace panties that you bought together.

“Wait” As soon as you heard that you retracted your hand, she patted the space next to her on the couch for you to sit and you did just that. “What?” “I wanted to make you feel how I do” you both started rubbing each other creating so much arousal in both of you. “Can I take this to the next step” you nodded as Nayeon came to you and got between your thighs and started sucking on your pussy and your head fell back out of pure pleasure

“Omg Nayeon I-“ “Does it feel good I’m going to start fingering you love if that’s ok with you”,

You nodded your head immediately as she buried her head into your clit more and started rapidly fingering you while licking repeatedly nonstop. As your rearing closer to your climax you scream out your body instantly felt numb and relaxed at the same time. 

“Did that feel good” “what do you think Nayeon” you said out of breath “you know you threw me off I thought I was going to be the one to make you feel good” you said as you gasped for air. “We’ll I wanted it to be your turn  before we both have one whole night of pleasure for the both of us” you nodded at her statement as you looked her in the eye “I’ll do everything to get you alone again and then I’ll have you screaming my name” she grabbed her stuff and just before opening the door she waved and muttered 

“Oh and after this week I’m going to need it”

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

★ 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 ★

[chaestats]

Insecurity drabble w Nayeon from TWICE!

Request by: anon

Warning: slightly suggestive at the end

Ask: "hey ❤️ I just found your blog and um my request is quite weird? But my whole life I've been insecure of my small chubby hands and was wondering if you could a ins drabble with Nayeon? fem reader please!"

Nayeon, your girlfriend of two years has been the most important and amazing person in your life. You were sure of this. And you were even more sure now, after she freed up her day just to go on a date with you even during comeback season. God, just how much you loved her...

She's always been caring & loving, never hasn't made up for being busy. Even when you didn't mind, it was her job after all, and you'd never make her pick between you and her job. You know how hard she worked to achieve all of this.

And safe to say, she showed all that care and love she has today. She took you out on a picnic date. Sure, it may be simple but it's the cutest thing ever to you. She put so much effort into everything, to find a more secluded place, to find comfortable blankets she even cooked everything! To be honest, you could tell it was cooked by her. It didn't taste exactly good, but you'd never tell her. Not that you mind either way. You love her for who she is, just like she loves you for you.

"Actually...I have one more surprise for you baby"

She let a giggle that was almost as adorable as herself.

"Oh god, you really didn't have to Nay...this already so much"

"Are kidding? This is barely anything!"

"No, really. I mean it..."

She laid a kiss on your forehead and stood up.

"Wait here!"

You waited patiently and in less than two minutes she was back. Her smile covering almost half of her face.

"Close your eyes!"

Excitement was so visible on her face she seemed just like child on its way to get some ice cream. You chuckled and closed your eyes. Then, you felt a box in your hand.

"Open it up!"

And you did as said. At that moment, you laid your eyes upon the most spectacular ring you've ever seen in your entire life. It was a golden ring, with a ruby on top circled with silver. It was definitely expensive...it would be shame for you to put it on your hands...

Nayeon frowned at your expression.

"Baby? You don't like it...?"

"W-what no! Of course no! I love it! It's just that uhm...I'm not sure it's meant for uh my hands..."

She went a step closer.

"What are you talking about? Your hands are perfect! I mean they're hands like hands!"

You chuckled slightly.

"Well I'm not exactly sure that chubby and short is the exact standard for perfection"

Nayeon let out a sigh as she went even closer to you.

"Are you hearing yourself? Your hands are beautiful, just like the rest of you. C'mon...put it on! I know you want to!"

She saw you hesitantly slide the ring onto your fingers when you gasped in awe. It was truly the most eye-opening piece of jewelry you've seen.

"See? I knew you would love it!"

"It's fantastic Nayeon, really. I don't know what to do to thank you for that enough, really..."

Nayeon smirked slightly.

"Well, you could start by showing me what those hands of yours can do tonight."

[cry4mina]

Take Me Back to Eden - Part 6 - Vore

(Mina x fem!reader) (Nayeon x Fem!reader)

Take Me Back to Eden - Choke Hold - Part 1

Take Me Back to Eden - Granite - Part 2

Take Me Back to Eden - Aqua Regia - Part 3

Take Me Back to Eden - Ascensionism - Part 4

Take Me Back to Eden - The Apparition - Part 5

Take Me Back to Eden - The Apparition - Part 5.5

Word Count: 11.4k

Fluff/Smut/Angst

Summary: Reader and Mina seem to be getting closer with each other and Nayeon doesn't seem to like that too much.

TW: Cute fluffy shit, Sex, abusive themes, violence, weapons. (Kinda want this one to be a little bit of a surprise, so if you would like a list of detailed trigger warnings, please DM me! <3)

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has requested more of this story, it really makes me so happy to know you all enjoy it! I also hit 300 followers! OMG THANK YOU ALL<3 Thank you for following and keeping up with my silly little stories and yapping with me! I appreciate every single one of you!<3 Thanks to the moots for keeping me sane will I wrote this cuz I was having a TIME. Anyways, love you mean it<3 Feedback always welcome and I hope you have a great day! ~*virtual forehead kiss*~

_

Sirens ring out as they approach your building, flashing lights almost blinding as they whip into the parking lot. Mina has you wrapped in a blanket, holding you closely and using her body as a shield from the outside world. Attempting to keep you calm as the officers walk to the door, checking the situation out and getting a feel for what was happening. 

Mina takes your face lightly into her hands, one placed on each cheek trying to get your attention, seeing the lack of presence in your eyes, she takes control of the situation. Unsure of what Nayeon was capable of. You were honestly scared of her and whatever was coming next. 

“Hey…” softly stated, bringing you back to her soft brown eyes as she let out a small smile. 

“I’m going to go and let them know what happened here, okay?” Tilting her head as she looks into you, trying to gauge how present you were for her. The state of shock is blatantly on your face as you look over to the broken window and see the police officers pointing something out on the ground to each other. 

“Hey…hey, look at me.” Delicately bringing your attention back to her, hands still present on your face as she continues. “I will be right back, okay?” 

Hands reaching up to grab Mina’s forearms rigidly before she takes her first step towards the door, fear rings through your heart knowing that Nayeon knew exactly where you lived. 

“I know…don’t worry, we will figure this out, okay?” calmly reassuring you before she speaks with the officers about what took place. They’re definitely going to want to talk to you before they leave but you find yourself slightly rocking back and forth on the couch, attempting to self regulate as all of this chaos is happening around you. 

Time stood still as you thought about how Nayeon would have known where you and Mina were. She knows where Mina lives, of course, but how did she know where your new apartment was? Could she have followed you? 

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks when your brain connected the dots; you never shut your location for her off. Getting up with a sense of urgency to grab your phone, you immediately sit back down. Quickly scrolling through the contacts to find Nayeon and turning the location off. Noticing that hers was still on and that she was pulling into the apartment complex you used to share. 

“That fucking bitch” said loudly enough for Mina to hear, side eyeing you while continuing to speak to the officer. The uniform, noticing that you were in distress on the couch, points over to you saying something to Mina as she nods her head and starts to walk over to you. 

Squatting down in front of you, maneuvering herself so she could meet your gaze as she rests one hand on your knee, lightly grips your hand with the other. Slowly focusing your eyes as she comes into view, a petite grin forms on her face again. 

“Hey honey, they want to ask you some questions now…are you up for that?” searching for hints of discomfort as she inquires on what you’re comfortable with, lightly running her hand up to your thigh. 

“I-…” peering up at her as she continues to rub your thigh, causing you to turn a special shade of red, you settle for just nodding your head yes instead of stumbling over your words. 

A gummy smile returned to you, sitting next to you before nodding her head to the officer across the room. He walks over to you, looks you up and down before asking the normal questions you would expect. 

“Did you see who did this?” Husked in a southern accent, pen and notepad in his hands as he looks over the rim of his glasses down at you. 

“No, I didn’t” shakiness present in your voice. 

Mina notices this and skims her hand on your upper back, body facing you with her legs crossed. Studying your body language as you continue speaking to the officer, giving you a sense of safety.  

“This ex-girlfriend of yours, has she had anger issues in the past?” Voice scratching against your memory as you plummet into dread trying to remember any tense moments you might’ve had with Nayeon before she betrayed you in the foulest of ways.

“Sir, we spent 3 years together and she was cheating on me the entire time, I just found out about it a month ago so to be fully transparent, I don’t know who she is…and I sure as hell don’t know what she’s capable of.” Leg bouncing as your voice emits dismay and fragility, arms enclosing your own body in an act of protection and defense. 

“Does she know where you live?” Concern coating his voice throwing hot coals into your ears as you try to keep from grieving in front of this stranger in your new home, and Mina. 

“Yes.” Faintly leaves your mouth as you look down at your lap,scratching the sides of your fingers, avoiding eye contact with anyone around you as you start to shut down. 

“Did you tell her where you live?” now obviously frustrated by the answer given.

Mina's eyes snapped up to him as she stood defensively in front of you, “don’t take that tone with her, she obviously wouldn’t tell her where she lived.” 

“She had my location on her phone. We did that years ago…I forgot until this. It’s off now.” Emotions absent from your voice as your eyes start to unfocus under the stress and implications of intentionality from the officer. 

“Do you have her address? We'd like to speak to her.” Officer now taking things a little more seriously. Mina, realizing you aren’t present, takes over the conversation and gives him the address of your old apartment. 

The sound of her saying your old address rings in your ears. The happiness that used to live there, no longer present. Thinking about what happened in that place makes your stomach churn, boiling through the lining as it rips from her mouth. Eyes brimming with the falsity of the emotions you felt so deeply in those walls. They are now stained in the blood from the knife Nayeon slid across your throat. 

Mina is too sacred to know the location of that cold hell you lived in, unknowingly sitting in the iced flames as life burned down around you, freezing your warmth and removing it from your body. A soul crushing, earth shattering ache exists where the frost bite gnawed the hole through your chest. 

 The officer walks out of your apartment and informs the other two cops of the details he just received. They shake their heads and nod as the officer you just spoke to points and waves with his hands, seemingly creating a plan when he gets in his car with his partner and speeding off, leaving one of them there to speak with you of what the evidence found. 

“There are footprints under the window to the living room, unfortunately they’re not clear enough to take an impression. There doesn't seem to be any handprints or fingerprints on anything, so we will update you with any new information we find. We are going to have an officer in their squad car outside for the night, should anything suspicious happen, we will handle it.” 

“Thank you.” Mina politely says while the officer walks away, still handling things for you while you’re in emotional paralysis and completely checked out. 

This was a brand new feeling for you, something very strange seeped into your pores, distorting your sense of reality. Appendages made of stone as you stilled, descending into the void of your psyche. 

Hazy thoughts coated in fear rise into your mind’s eye. A tornado of grief, guilt, and fear rotate around in absolute madness causing the earth to quake within your skin. Arm hair raising at the action of your home being violated by an unwelcome energy, another betrayal from someone once so close to you, now simply a stranger in your heart. 

Mina watched as your eyes unfocused, the way your shoulders rose, arms crossing your chest as your body withdrew inward. She promptly started attempting to remove the stressors one by one.

“Do you have any boxes? And some tape? Packing tape or duct tape preferred” walking to the kitchen, avoiding the glass, to sift through the recycling. You cling to her every movement as she pulls out a flat piece of cardboard, cuts it to size, and lays it over the window to cover the shattered hole.

“Y/n?…do you have any tape?” patiently waiting for you to hear her, knowing how overwhelming this situation must be, especially after what happened at the restaurant. She was learning how to show up for you, but somehow she already knew the best ways to do so.

“Oh! Uhm, sorry…” running to the junk drawer, almost robotic in your movements and absentmindedly forgetting about the glass on the floor. You step right into it without even noticing. So dissociated that it doesn’t even phase you, continuing what you set out to do and trialing a small bloody pattern along the way.

Pull the drawer open. 

Grab the tape. 

Hand tape to Mina.

Wait for further instruction.

Listing the steps as your brain gave you orders, autopiloting its way through the tasks given, completely separating logic and emotion. 

A troubled look on her face as she quickly fastened the cardboard. Disbelief washes over her for a split second. Standing in front of you who just stepped on a very visible pile of broken glass with no wince, sense of pain, or idea of what you just did. 

“Do you have a first aid kit?” a dash of panic present in her tone, eye searching for clues to where it could be. 

Another instruction. 

First aid kit.

Cabinet under the sink. 

Almost like setting coordinates, your muscular system takes the data and converts the math into movements. Taking a step towards the sink when a cold hand grabs your upper arm tightly. 

Malfunction. 

Short circuit. 

Cannot complete assigned task.

“Wait, wait, wait” firm grip keeps you still, hardware unable to comprehend the sudden stop.

“You stay here, I’ll go get it. Where is it?” sternly stated as she steps in front of you, now waiting for your directions.

Pointing to the cabinet under the sink, she rushes to grab the plastic container full of supplies out, setting them on the island in the kitchen.

“Up here,” patting the counter. Hoisting yourself up to sit, she pulls your sock off gently and assesses the injury you inadvertently caused yourself. 

“This doesn’t look too bad,” grabbing the tweezers and pulling the glass out of the sole onto a piece of gauze, double checking to make sure she got it all. Mina disinfects the wound while you giggle at the coldness and texture of the alcohol soaked towelette. 

“Are you ticklish?” mischievous look in her eyes after learning the new information not knowing that this level of care was bringing you back to a state of cognisense. 

“I might be.” A smile returned as she refocuses herself on placing the gauze on your foot and wrapping it gently and meticulously.

“There…should be good, but stay put for a moment” ordered back to you as she finds your broom in the pantry and sweeps up the sharp slabs of glass. The sound of the glass scraping against the tile echoes through the kitchen, the clatter of the dust pan on the floor wakes you up a little more from your numbing haze. 

Mina throws the shatter reminisce of the window away and quickly reaches for the cleaner under the sink and a paper towel, carefully wiping the blood off the floor, making sure she doesn’t miss a single splotch before bringing her attention back to you.

“Thank you, Dr. Myoui…for the house visit, are all your patients lucky enough to receive this kind of care from you?” Bashfully smirking in her direction, acknowledging that this was more than a bandage and some cleaning.

“Dr. Myoui is my father, Y/n.” Playfully biting back, fighting a grin before leering at the floor to make sure the hazard was taken care of, then being sure to put everything back where it belonged as she tidied up the kitchen.

She looks up at you with honeyed eyes, fixing her waist between your knees, placing her hands around your waist. Your bodies pressed together, resting your heads on each other's shoulders, relaxing into her and just enjoying the calmness after the storm.

“Hey, Mina…” almost silent in volume, hesitating to make your request.

“Would you…stay with me tonight?” muttered into her hair, your back unclenching in her touch. 

Mina pulls away, reaching up, lifting your chin with her pointer finger to encourage eye contact again. She’s made of literal magic when she does this. Your stomach cages every butterfly you’ve ever witnessed at her touch. 

Mina’s finger is still under your chin as she kisses you gently. Admiring your features before giving you the answer that you already knew you had.  

“Of course I’ll stay with you” 

—

The bedroom is dark and cold, rain lightly tapping on the window adding to the relaxing state you find yourself in. Absorbing the safety Mina seems to bring with her everywhere she goes. 

Even in one of your old oversized shirts that was so long on her- it was mid thigh, and barefaced, she’s effervescent and elegant as ever.

Laying in bed next to her was a surreal feeling. It felt so natural for her to hold you, both arms wrapped around you, running her fingers down your arm as you rested your head on her chest.

“Y/n?…are you awake?” Lightly spoken into the shadows of the room. 

“Yeah…I’m so comfortable but I can’t seem to keep my eyes closed for longer than a minute” mumbled back. 

“Can I ask you what that dream you had was about?” curiously flows as her hand runs up your back. 

“It was a nightmare. I couldn’t talk or scream or anything. My teeth fell out. Nayeon’s face melted off and she threw me off a cliff into the ocean by my neck…you were there too but you were…glowing? I don’t really know what it means” vulnerability dripping off your jowls as you continue on.

“It was definitely overwhelming…especially with the police and stuff after.” Twisting her shirt in between your fingers, listening to her even heartbeat pace quicken against your ear while you fidget with the cloth..

“I did like what happened in between the dream and the window though…that was nice, but a little unexpected.” Chuckling to yourself.

“Can I be honest?” Mina says hesitantly with a smile, the contradiction of her actions and words confusing, her heartbeat raising again. It’s almost pounding out of her chest as she tells you the whole truth. 

“I…have actually had a crush on you since I met you. I always thought you were so kind and loving, and I mean look at you, you’re stunning. I feel lucky to even have spent any amount of time with you.” 

Astonished at what Mina has just said, you lift your head up to look her in the eyes.

“Really?” 

“I mean yeah…you’re great.” meaningfully spoken with a hint of nervousness, her heart pounding against her skin as she confesses the yearning she’s experienced surrounding you. 

“I feel like this is all happening so fast but…I don’t want it to stop…I don’t think I’ve ever felt this safe before.” you comfortably say without any fear or doubt. 

“It doesn’t have to, as long as you’re comfortable…I know there’s a lot happening right now so if you’d rather take it slow, we can do that. I’m patient…and I don’t want to rush into anything that you aren’t ready for.” a small sense of panic rushes over Mina, you can taste it in her words. 

“Or if you don’t want to…be anything but friends, we can do that too. I just…really like being around you and the time we spent together today, even with all the craz-'' cutting her off with a passionate kiss, running your fingers up her sculpted abs, other hand firmly placed on her neck, leaning into the moment. Your body finds comfort in her touch. 

One passionate kiss, turns into two and slowly dances into where you left off on the couch earlier in the night. Shirts flying across the room, this time with no bras to unclasp, tongues dancing effortlessly and in sync like Mina was always the one this was supposed to happen with. 

Both of you in only underwear, heavily making out. Hands create maps on each other's bodies, exploring the new territory. Mina breaks the kiss, trailing her lips down your neck to your breasts. 

“You can leave marks,” you huff between stimuli as she lightly digs her teeth into your chest. A small whine leaves your lips triggering her to look up at you, eyes half lidded with a lazy smirk.

“Not this time, baby.” between the small feathery bites as she takes one of your nipples in her mouth, softly pinch the other one, eliciting more airy gasps. Your hips start to grind against nothing under Mina’s touch, completely losing yourself in it.   

Her right hand chases the rocking of your hips, playing with the elastic band hugging your skin. Hooking a long delicate finger into it and stretching it up, mouth still swirling on your chest in tandem. 

“Can I…?” playfully snapping the band against your skin, sighing into the sting it brought with it. 

“Please” sheerly leaves your lips. She wastes no time, swiftly removing the blockade of fabric from your body, taking in the sight of you lifting your hips for her desperately to feel some form of contact.  

“Are you really this excited for me?” whispered into your skin, side eyeing the glistening of your upper thighs and the damp spot already forming on the sheets underneath you. You are too ready and willing to even reply. 

“Look at how wet you are…did she make you wet like this too or is this all for me?” swiping her fingers upwards from your entrance to your clit. Her eyes are blown out with lust, basking in the sounds you’re making and how you’re twitching at the minimal touch she gave you.

A string of your slick connects the two of you as she pulls her hand away, giving her fingers one lick and humming at the taste of you before taking her place between your legs, caressing up your thighs with her lips, placing open mouthed kisses that leave you attempting to rut into her. 

Feeling her hot breath against you makes you drip. Scooting closer to her, hips first, aching for her in a way that was unfamiliar. The sense of neediness you had for her was unmatched. 

No one has ever made you want it more than Myoui Mina. 

Wrapping her arms behind your thighs, holding you in place, and sweetly kisses from your hip bones down to your core. 

Slowly sweeping her tongue from your entrance to your clit in the same pattern her finger did. Eyes darkening as she starts to tease with different rhythms and patterns, not allowing you to build your arousal too quickly underneath her. 

“Tell me, baby, how badly do you want this?” cooed into you. She starts to form a regular beat of dragging her tongue across your clit. 

“I need you so b-bad, -ungh, right there- ” unaware of what you were even saying. A devious smirk creeps over your naked body, Mina’s lips not leaving your clit as she builds on the pleasure you were feeling, teasing your entrance with the tip of her finger. 

Carefully sliding a finger into you and curling up, continuing the pattern that causes you to twitch underneath her touch, moaning into the shadows of the room loudly for her to hear. You’re sure the neighbors would know her name by the end of this.

Her dainty frame covering your legs, looking effortlessly elegant in the mess created. She slowly picks up the speed of her fingers and tongue. Complete ecstasy rising within you while your mind focuses on the pure pleasure Mina is giving to you. 

“Mina…I’m gonna -right there right there, fuck-“ ripping from your chest as she sweetly pulls the orgasm from your body. Letting you ride it out in her hands, watching as you buck your hips down on her fingers while making sure not to waste a single drop of you. 

“Wow, so desperate for me…couldn’t keep still, huh?” Teasingly with a devilish smirk as she reaches up to lay her lips on yours. Your own taste floods your mouth, tongues re-familiarizing themselves. The way she melts into you is unmatched. 

Mina breaks the kiss and brings her hand to place it around your neck, squeezing softly just to see your reaction. Moaning for her and halfway chasing her lips again, she chuckles and sighs. 

“Don’t worry, we will have time to explore that together too…you’ve had a hard day, honey, maybe it’s time to get some rest?” laying next to you and draping her arms around you so she can hold you close. Tracing patterns on your back and weaving your legs between hers, drifting in and out of sleep. Mina draws little hearts on your back as if they’re little notes of encouragement to drift off.

—

Stirring in your sleep, the sound of a phone vibrating on the nightstand wakes you. Flipping over to readjust, trying to fall back asleep when you hear Mina breath in sharply and stretch. 

A slap on the nightstand, she grabs her phone, half grumbling as she stands and saunters out of the room to answer it. 

“Hello?” Sleepily spoken, you smile at how cute she is. 

“What?!” The shock laced word spills into the empty living room while you fade in and out of sleep, trying to fight your eyes so you can hear the rest of the conversation or maybe get a hint as to what was going on, but you failed miserably, slipping off into the dreamscape once more. 

—

“Y/n…wake up, my love” whispered to you from mere inches away. Your eyes flutter open, looking next to you seeing the morning sun casting its beautiful rays onto Mina’s face. She brings her finger up your cheekbone and moves a piece of your hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

Radiant as ever laying next to you, sheets covering up to her hips, exposing the rest of her body, your breath hitching at the sight. She studies your face diligently, taking in every inch of detail of you. 

Grumpiness is apparent in your face, frowning at how far away she is from you. You scoot into her chest, closing your eyes again, and nuzzling into her. The skin on skin contact causes a flurry of giggles to erupt out of that same chest you found comfort in. 

“You’re too cute like this,” softly running her fingers through your hair. You slowly wake in her arms smiling at the pure hearted person. She peppers your face with kisses to wake you up a little faster even though it just makes you want to stay in bed with her all day. 

“I heard your phone ring earlier and part of the conversation you had…is everything okay?” concerned tone in your sleep drenched voice.You open your eyes to see her affectionate gaze outlining your naked body. 

Unable to help yourself, the world fades around her. Laying in your bed, holding you, the safe and calm you feel is unmatched to anything you’ve ever experienced. Even with all the stressors that were gnawing at you, none of it mattered when you were here. With her. With Mina. 

“Well….it was the police.” calmness in her voice not matching the anger brewing in her eyes as she continues to take in your curvature. 

“They arrested someone in correlation to what happened last night…and I wasn’t ready for who…” conflict in her eyes, something was bothering her and you wanted to make sure you were fully present for what she was about to say. 

Sitting up in anticipation of the news, her eye contact is absent. She toys with the sheet anxiously, your hand reaching out to still hers. She peers up at you through her bangs, trying her best to focus on your face and not your chest. 

“They arrested Jihyo.” gulping in worry of how you’d take the news. 

“…Jihyo?! There’s no way…” confusion blinds you for a moment, unwilling to accept this as true.

“She confessed, apparently.” rolling her eyes, knowing she’d never do that willingly. Jihyo was wrapped around Nayeon’s finger, ready to do whatever she needed, no matter the cost.  

“Did they even questi-” interrupted by the sound of your own phone vibrating. Both glancing down at the sound before you pick up off the bed to see it’s an unknown number. 

Flipping the phone around to show Mina, both of you confused. You answer it on speaker phone. 

“…hello?” 

“Hey baby, mind if I stop by?” 

Immediately tense at the voice crackling through the speaker. Mina is visibly irritated at Nayeon’s word choice, glaring at the phone while crossing her arms. 

“Uhm…Don’t call me that and I’d actually prefer for you to leave me the fuck alone.” 

“Oh come on babe, don’t be like that. It’s not like you weren’t violently fucking my face two days ago.” Nayeon coyly says in the tone she always used to try and seduce you.

“If you show up here, I’ll call the police again.” anger threads your voice. Nayeon almost moans over it.

“Babeeee, you know I love it when you’re mad. Maybe you should come take it out on m-”  hanging up and tossing your phone back on the bed, repulsed at what just happened.

You turn bright red and avoid Mina’s eyes, not wanting to see her reaction to what was just spoken in front of her. 

“I think I’m going to go take a shower…” softly said, embarrassed at the information Nayeon just threw into the mix.  

“You do know that I already know that happened, right?” Mina asserts in an attempt to reassure you.

“Don’t you remember back at the cafe? Nayeon dropped that information in front of Jihyo…the poor girl. Also, the scratch marks on your back aren’t exactly healed. I, of course, didn’t know about the “violent” face fucking” giggling and bringing her hand over her mouth. She’s really teasing you about this right now. 

“We also were pretty drunk…” Blushing and fighting a smile back, poking fun at you. 

“…I’m thinking maybe I could make some new scratch marks once those heal.” winking at you before grabbing your hand. 

“ Anyways, you’re gonna shower? Is it cool if I join or are you not a shared shower kind of person?” 

A huge grin plastered across your face. Mina sees how you’re absolutely beaming, returning the same volume of light back to you. Swinging her arms around your waist and kissing you passionately before making your way to the bathroom together. 

–

Laying in each other's arms on the couch again, a movie playing in the background, cozy clothes on- the perfect homebody day. Both of you are exhausted and happy to be relaxing with each other. 

Mina laying her head in your lap, quietly napping while you play with her hair, tangling it between your fingers as you doze off to the sounds of her deep steady breaths and the comfort movie you put on to drown out the silence.

Her phone suddenly clatters against the table it rested on, waking you both immediately. Mina sighs, stretches, and slides her finger across the screen to answer without moving her head from your legs, poking the speaker button before a soft and sleepy “hello?” escapes her lips.

“Mina! Are you okay? You were supposed to be at the house already! The banquet starts in a few hours!” Momo roars through the phone, concerned as to why the always punctual Mina was suddenly late. 

“...is that today?” looking at you with her brows furrowed in confusion, sleep still present in her eyes.

“Uh, yeah! Hello?? You helped plan it!” stunned that Mina had forgotten something so important. 

“Shit!” exclaimed in a small panic before she got up immediately and headed to the kitchen, leaving the phone with Momo still connected on the table. 

Watching Mina closely, studying her movements, not as fluid and graceful as usual. Mina was pacing trying to organize herself in an almost chaotic way, fumbling to get the things she needed together. 

It’s cute to see her like this. 

“Momoring!” shouted at the phone to your best friend, knowing it would startle her. The sounds of a scream and her phone falling ring out followed by your hearty belly laughing. 

“...Y/n?! I thought you and Mina were supposed to hang out yesterd-...wait…Y/n…did you and Mi-”

“Momo, shut up!” rolls off your tongue, silencing her instantly.  

“What is she late to?” 

“The banquet auction we set up for Jeongyeon’s birthday…you were invited you know…if you wanted to come…with someone you might be with currently…you total-” hanging up the phone on her and laugh to yourself. 

The private charity banquet was put together by the entirety of Twice for Jeongyeon’s birthday. Hosting it for a local animal shelter, they were going to auction off Twice memorabilia and the money would then be donated to help the shelter build a new facility they desperately needed. 

The perfect gift for someone who has it all. 

It would be nice to get dressed up and go support a good cause for a good friend with a pretty girl. Plus the girls worked hard to make this happen…just because 2 out of 9 were in your shit list, doesn’t mean the rest should be shown up for. 

“Hey, Mina!” volume of your voice a smidge louder than normal. 

“Yeah?” poking her head around the wall to look at you while you spoke to her. 

“I wasn’t going to go to that banquet because I thought it might be a little awkward after everything that happened, but how do you feel about…us going together?” a slight pang of awkward hovers over you, realizing that you were actually asking Mina on a date. 

Stepping around the wall and coming closer to you, Mina places her hands lightly on your hips, eyes softening into yours. You fight the urge to look away from her when she pulls you closer to her. 

“Are you…asking me on a date?” tilting her head to her right and blinking a few times, a gummy smile warms your stomach.

Nodding your head yes, she’s still silently beaming at you. 

“Yes, I’m asking you on a date.” nervously fleeing from your throat. You bite the inside of your cheek and look down to the floor.

Mina rests her body against yours, the closeness forcing you to tilt your head up. The feeling of her on you is so mesmerizing, like a ray of warm sunshine after the chilled rain storm. 

The walls you built around yourself after Nayeon shake and crumble underneath the feather light touch and coziness she presented to you. A feeling so pure and ethereal encompassed you so tightly that it was almost horrifying how close you let her get so quickly. 

“I would love to have you as my date tonight.” noses brushing against each other, her arms resting on your shoulders before lazily falling around your neck. 

Lips meeting gently, a few rapid pecks leaves your mind completely swirling in what reality was to you now. Devastation no longer bleeds through the cracks left by your past. A tenderness blankets the once dark shadows in a brightness that envelopes your entire being. 

“Meet me at Momo’s when you’re done getting ready?” spoken faintly into your mouth before giving one last kiss that was more passionate than the few before. Both of you having trouble pulling away from each other, tension so taut that even a piano wire wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure. 

“I’ll see you soon.” 

—

Settling on black slacks that taper down the legs, a black button down, and a black blazer to wear to the banquet. You were invited before by Jeongyeon herself, you accepted the invitation assuming you’d be going with Nayeon. That was obviously no longer the case. 

Momo had tried to convince you to go anyway, despite Nayeon and Jihyo being there and you were very undecided about going. Not wanting to interact with someone you found to be so cruel, you pushed off making the decision until Momo put the idea in your head that you could, in fact, go with someone else. 

Standing in front of the mirror, making sure you looked acceptable for the black tie event, you can’t help but dive into your thoughts about how much had actually changed within the last month. 

You hadn’t really thought about what life would look like without Nayeon but maybe it wasn’t so bad. The past month had been a whirlwind of many emotions and even through the weight of them, it felt good to see the little parts of you that she had consumed and tried to destroy. 

Even in the anxious mindset of being around her again, you were going to show up to this event and have a good time.There would be barriers between the two of you and it was a larger event, so it’s not like you had to be near her. This thought brings you peace.

Walking through the kitchen, throwing your dress shoes on, and grabbing your keys before swinging the door open to see a dolled up Nayeon standing in front of you. It’s almost like she knew exactly what you were going to wear, showing up in a very similar outfit, unintentionally matching with the person you wish to never see again.

Blood runs warm immediately, you roll your eyes before stepping outside and shutting the door behind you. Eye meeting before you brush past her, aiming to get away from her. You start walking to your car when you hear an agitated huff at you. 

“Can you just talk to me, please?” perturbation refracts off the early evening sky as it emanates from her mouth at the chill of the air. 

“No. Go Away.” matching the temperature of the brisk weather surrounding the confrontation. 

Nayeon’s heels clicking on the concrete behind you, trying to match your pace to try and get your attention.

“Y/n, please just listen to what I have to say!” voice cracking as she cries out to you. 

Whipping around to face her promptly, causing her to almost crash into you. The closeness makes you cringe in disgust. You can feel her breath on her skin. Struggling to take a very large step back, Nayeon’s hands trying to hold onto your waist trying to keep you near. You’re at your breaking point. 

“Nayeon, I am so fucking tired of this! I want you to leave me alone! I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want to talk to you, and I sure as hell do not want you showing up at my apartment!” pointing your key directly at her face in a sign of disrespect, tearing into the pitiful stranger that stood before you.

“ Nothing is there anymore, do you understand?!” irreversible truths spat in the direction of someone who was just a memory in your mind. 

Giving your words a second to sink seer into her, Nayeon’s eyes well up. Finally understanding that this was the fatal blow. The end.

You soften at the sight of her tears, knowing that it was probably hard to hear even if it was her actions that caused this division between the two of you. 

“After this moment, I never want you to show up unannounced or try to convi-”

“I called you earlier, it wasn’t unannounced!” sneered back at you in a tone you weren’t familiar with. Venomous in nature and sour in flavor. 

“And I told you not to come! So why the fuck are you here?!” matching that same irritation she threw at you.

She’s in your face now, screaming at you. 

“Because I knew you were lying! AND know who was here…” sharply slices the air, creating an even deeper wound. 

“Who even are you?...Where I am and who I am with are not your concern anymore. I’m finally feeling some sense of self for the first time in a long time and you can’t even let me have  aunty fucking peace!” clamoring through the sounds of the busy street near the lot where your car was located. 

“Just leave me alone, Nayeon…I really just want you to let me live my life without you.” bittersweetly spoken in a sense of calm.

A failed attempt to keep your voice steady haunts you while getting in your car, starting it and driving off to Momo’s house. Leaving Nayeon in the parking lot of your apartment, absolutely speechless and seething. 

__

Pulling into the driveway, you just sit for a second. Needing a minute to gather yourself after that confrontation. 

All of the emotions of the last month flood back to you immediately and tears are running down your face without care, stinging in the grief that exhausted you to the point of mental break. Nayeon really wouldn’t leave you alone, she knew where you lived, she knew who you were with, and she threw it all back in your face because she didn’t get what she wanted.  

Another layer of betrayal peels off the once rose colored love you had for this person. Seeing her for who she actually was really shook you to your core. Nausea builds in your stomach, an all too familiar feeling as the reminisce of the ache returns full force. 

Unable to help yourself, you sob into your shaky hands. All that time, wasted and all the heartbreak suffered just to end up right back at Momo and Dahyun’s house crying, again. 

The front door is faintly tugged open and rapidly closed, a shadow on the porch shivering with a cellphone in hand. Your eyes are too hazy and tear filled to even register who it was. Simply hoping they didn’t look in the driveway and find you trying to regulate your breathing in the safety of your car. 

Buzzing in your pocket momentarily pulls you out of the fog, reaching for it immediately and glancing down at the lit up screen. A single penguin emoji graced your screen, you answered without even thinking about your state of being.

“Hello?” sniffling into the microphone and blinking rapidly to clear your tears from your field of vision, letting them fall down your cheeks and landing in your lap.

“Y/n?? What’s wrong? Where are you?” panicked immediately. 

You can see the shadow by the door growing restless as it paces, head tilted down, arms crossed.

“I’m in Momo’s driveway, I just need a second.” a deep breath through your lips and a shaky exhale makes the shadow by the door stop in their tracks. 

“I want to give you the space you need but I do hate that you’re upset. Is there anything I can do for you while you are calming down?” very composed in the face of your stress, your heart flutters at the thought of Mina hugging you through this. 

Turning the keys to shut the car off, pulling the handle and swinging the door open, stepping out smoothly. The shadow turns around, you hang up the phone and hastily walk over to it. 

Mina sees the look on your face and takes a single step forward, trying not to rush you and overwhelm you, knowing you just asked for space. The closer you get, the more you see the delicate sadness framed in her eyes. 

Taking large strides to reach her sooner, she lifts her arms up in anticipation of you falling into them and you did just that. Resting your head on her shoulder, fighting more tears now that you feel safe, you hold her around the waist and as close to you as possible. 

Mina just holds you, tracing small soft patterns on the back of your neck, letting you just relax into her. Nuzzling your nose into her neck and inhaling puts your body at ease. Slowly your muscles start to unclench, a sigh of relief leaves you slowly. 

Pulling away from her just enough to kiss her, smiling into the lock of your lips. She happily kisses you back before resting her forehead on yours. Wiping the tears from your cheeks with a feather light swipe of her thumb that morphs into her cupping your face. 

“What happened, love?” concerned at the state you showed up in, looking into your swollen reddened eyes, searching for the answer to her question. 

“Uhm…well, Nayeon showed up to my apartment and wanted to talk to me.” 

“And what did she say?” trying to fight the fire that filled her eyes, even if it wasn’t present on her face. 

“We honestly argued…She said she knew you were there…and that she wanted me to listen to her…I told her to leave me alone. Then I drove here…She’s never spoken to me like that before.” another sharp sniffle cuts the silence as she processes the information just given to her. 

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry you were put in that position.” rubbing small circles on your back. 

“I hate that she knows where I live. I wish I would’ve turned my location off. I don’t like that she can just…show up like that.” voice quivering with a hint of rage before Mina proposes an idea. 

“Stay with me tonight then.” 

“I don’t want to impo-”

“Y/n…” leaning into you once more to connect your lips, passionately tugging on your blazer while your hands roam up to the back of her neck. 

Quickly turning into something more than a kiss, her tongue swipes the bottom of your lip and  moves in sync with yours for a moment. Mina starts to pull your tucked in shirt out of your slacks, sliding her finger along your stomach to tease you a little when the front door flies open.

“Hey, Mina did you talk wi- OH?” Momo shouts out when she sees the steamy scene happening in front of her. Both you and Mina turn beat red and separate, ears hot in embarrassment about being caught and knowing that Momo is going to make fun of you for it later. 

“Sorry to interrupt! Should I go back inside or?” playfully teasing the two of you when Dahyun emerges from the house.

“Are you guys ready? Our car should be here any second…is everything okay?” asked through the awkwardness of the situation, taking note of your untucked shirt and how close you and Mina are to each other, beat red complexion gracing both of you. 

“Yes, we are.” Mina reached for your hand to let them know that the two of you were more than what was previously thought. Dahyun and Momo smile at the sight of what’s blooming right in front of them. 

“Alright let’s go eat some good ass food and get a new building for that shelter.” Momo raises her hands to cheer as she walks down the driveway towards the SUV that just pulled up. 

Dahyun takes a step forward, looking back at you and Mina. 

“You know…This,” pointing between the two of you. 

“This is cute.” grinning briefly before walking down the driveway. 

“Do you want another minute?” Mina asks, squeezing your hand gently.

“No, I’m feeling much calmer now…and yes.” 

“Yes?” quizzically repeated back to you. 

“Yes, I’ll stay with you tonight.” leaning in to place one last kiss on her perfect lips.

“LET’S GO!” Momo yells from the end of the driveway causing you both to giggle into each other before you walk hand in hand towards the car, now way more excited for what the evening held. 

—

Tremendously elegant crystal chandeliers hang from the hand painted ceiling of the venue, a calm murmur of the crowd buzzing in your ears as you step into the mix, still hand in hand with Mina.

 Jeongyeon is greeting people as they walk in and thanking them for coming before they walk through the gallery of what was to be auctioned off. Patiently waiting to get signed in, you finally have the opportunity to admire your date. 

Makeup naturally laid onto her face, her hair is down and wavy to the middle of her back. Fixating on her lips for a moment, the shape of them now burnt into your brain as it clouds with flashes of that which took place at Momo and Dahyun’s house. 

Your eyes slowly make their way down her body to find black satin fabric cascading down her, stopping mid thigh. Eyes tracing back up to her sleeves that cover the middle of her arms with her perfect shoulders bare. The concave of her collarbones almost sends you into a spiral when her head pivots and catches you red handed, gawking over her. 

A small step taken towards her, threading your fingers together loosely before taking a purposefully big step forward in line, turning around and facing her as she follows. Fingers rotating to a more comfortable position but never leaving each other's grip.

Mina leans into you, arm placed around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder. A big sigh is expelled from her when you place your cheek on the side of her head.

“I didn’t get the chance to tell you how stunning you look tonight.” whispered to her through the low bustling surrounding you as it slowly fades out. She removes her head from your shoulder, keeping a close distance, bringing a hand up to hold your face before laying a small kiss on your lips, smiling immediately at you.

“It’ll be hard for me to keep my hands off of you in this little suit you’re wearing, you look too good. Maybe later I can show you what I mean.” sultry and suggestive in tone.

Mina skims her lips along the underside of your jaw, kissing right below the ear when someone approaches you both, breaking the moment before it could go any farther.

“Uhm…Hi, guys?” Tzuyu is visibly confused at what she’s seeing, looking at the intimate way you are interacting with each other. She visibly shakes the curiosity out of her head as the three of you step forward again, place being next in line. 

“Have you guys seen Jihyo? I haven’t seen her or Nayeon tonight. I’m a little worried because she hasn’t texted me back since the day before yesterday. 

Oh, shit…Tzuyu doesn’t know…Mina looks up at you to find you flushed pale, brows furrowed and eyes unable to keep still. 

“We haven’t seen her yet but if we do, we will definitely let her know you’re looking for her.” gummy smile followed. Not exactly a lie, but not the whole truth. 

“Tzu! Mina! Y/n!...Y/n?! I didn’t think you were coming!” exclaimed with her arms up.

Letting go of Mina and throwing your arms around Jeongyeon for a big bear hug. She notices your anxiety immediately but doesn’t draw attention to it. 

“Well, I couldn’t miss your birthday! Or this amazing event! Seriously, this is so amazing. I’m so proud of the hard work you all put in.” sweetly said with an elbow to Jeongyeon’s rib. 

“Thanks, god why are you so sappy today?” poking back at you, playful as always, confusion in her eyes about your attempt to hide the discomfort you were feeling. 

“That means everyone is here except Jihyo. Have you seen her?” Directing her attention to Mina and Tzu for a moment before worry spreads across Jeongyeon’s face when she sees Tzuyu shake her head no.  

“I tried to call her earlier but I think her phone is off…I hope she’s alright. This is very unlike her.” Jeongyeon pulls her phone out to look for a sign that Jihyo is okay and you feel completely guilty.

You can’t bring yourself to tell her what you know, not willing to ruin the happiness of tonight with the uncomfortable knowledge that Jihyo is probably still in jail, or at least in severe trouble with the company. 

A moment of silence lingers as you all sign in for the auction before stepping into the gallery of what was being auctioned off. 

You walk the halls and follow the glass cases set up for viewing. Various outfits from music videos, solo stages, and performances including TV appearances, autographed pictures and other various items scattered throughout. 

Having a hard time focusing on these moments in Twice’s history, hating the idea that you knew uncomfortable information that was being sought after. The pit of your stomach deepens, waving in anxiety even though you know who should be where Jihyo was. Where ever she was. 

Walking through the big double doors of the grandiose ballroom, many vendors and members of the staff line the floor with tables, animals that are up for adoption, donations booths, and an information center where you can find out how to help other local shelters with their needs.

Heartwarming that they’d go through so much effort to help the community they lived in, it truly was an honor to be a part of this, even with the guilt. It was a sight to see. 

Finding your seats at the table you were assigned to, 10 seats around a table that was lavishly set with perfectly shining silverware, white plates contrasting the black napkins adorning them. Your seat is between Momo and Mina, thankfully.

Jeongyeon takes her place on the stage as everyone else falls slowly into their seats. Nayeon walks up to the table with minimal eye contact and waves to everyone. Mina is gripping your leg under the table, knowing how uncomfortable you must feel with her sitting right across from you, especially after the confrontation that took place earlier in the day.  

Everyone is silent as Jeongyeon makes her opening speech, thanking everyone for coming to support a good cause and briefly reliving memories about volunteering at the shelter. Mentioning how kind the staff was and how much care was put into loving these animals that didn’t have homes yet. The light dim as she steps to the side for a video to play. 

The presentation about the shelter starts by following the early years of the shelter being open, and some of the pets they had saved. Stories about the staff and the volunteers who made the hard days bearable. By the time it was finished, everyone was sniffling and giving a standing ovation. 

“Please enjoy the dinner the chefs have prepared for you! The auction will start at 7pm so please have a great time until then!” Jeongyeon exclaims and then claps with the crowd before finding her seat at the table with the awkward silence.  

__

Poking at your food, you have a hard time eating even though it is delicious. Anxiety keeps you from devouring the meal in front of you as the girls talk around you. Mina leans over to you and checks in every now and then, just to make sure you’re okay. 

The second time she leans over to you, she is interrupted by a loud, harsh voice.

“I get that we aren’t together but can you stop doing whatever this is, in front of me? Kind of rude, don't you think?” sneered to you and Mina across the table. 

“Nayeon, not now.” Momo tries to hush her but she persists.

“You think she can do for you what I did? You think she can be who you need her to be for you?! WE are supposed to be here together, not you and Mina! Mina, of all people!” aggressively throwing her hands as she berates Mina in front of everyone. 

The entire table looks at her in disbelief, unable to understand why she is reacting this way and more importantly why she was doing it in public. Tzuyu looks at you and Mina, and then back at Nayeon who is visibly enraged at the sight of you together. 

Jeongyeon just stares at her in silence, Dahyun can’t seem to find a comfortable seat in her chair, Chaeyoung and Sana are trying to talk among themselves to avoid the conversation but Sana is staring daggers at Nayeon.

“I bet she doesn’t fuck like I do or do you need another reminder of how I fuck you?” Nayeon is now standing, palms down on the table, and leaning forward suggestively. Everyone around the table looks at her with absolute disgust. 

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t want to work on thi-”

“ENOUGH!” abruptly leaves your chest. Loud enough to silence the tables around you, jaw clenching in fury. Everyone turns their attention towards you, surprised at the tone you took.

Mina is continuing to eat but places her hand in yours, resting it on your thigh in an act of comfort. She’s politely chewing her food when she looks directly at you, giving you a look that could only be described as “If you don’t, I will.” They need to know. 

“Nayeon, why don’t you tell everyone where Jihyo is?” spat at her venomously through a tense demeanor. 

“Y/n…I- I don’t know what you mean. H- How should I know? ” stammering now that she has lost control of the conversation. 

“Oh, sure you do!... Weren’t you with her last night?” aggressively questioning her, dropping little bombs of knowledge on everyone around you. 

“Wait, I thought you were here setting up last night…you said you couldn’t come over because of that…” Tzuyu with a saddened tone speaks up through the words being ping ponged across the table.. 

Mina is just smiling next to you, watching as everyone is realizing that they had been lied to. 

“Y/n, shut the fuck up!” growled at you. 

Momo, Dahyun, and Mina start chuckling at the sliver of panic Nayeon was showing, while everyone else just gawks at her for speaking to you the way she was. 

“You haven’t told them yet? Actually, here’s a better question…Why does everyone think we split up?” almost taunting her, dangling the question in front of everyone, hoping they would take the bait. 

“You never did tell us exactly why you broke up…” Chaeyoung is now fully present for the conversation. Sana looks cross, probably from the way Nayeon spoke about Mina. Her arms covering her chest, waiting for Nayeon to explain herself. 

Silence fills the void once more, everyone is staring at Nayeon, waiting for her explanation of what was going on. Panicked in her movements, unable to make eye contact with anyone, she curls into herself. A defense mechanism that you were all too familiar with. 

Standing up from your seat, placing your napkin on the table, tucking your chair back underneath and resting your arms on the back of your chair before dropping the truth on all of the members who didn’t know. 

“Since you aren’t interested in telling the truth…”

“Y/n, please…we can talk about this later” through clenched teeth, Nayeon tries to get you to stop your sentence in it’s tracks.

“I don’t want to speak to you at all. There is no later.” a bite back against her attempt in control. 

“Jihyo isn’t here because of you, you should tell them! After all, don’t you want to claim her since you’ve been sleeping with her behind my back this entire time?” 

An audible gasp from everyone who was unaware of the situation, shock covering their faces as Nayeon’s ears heat up and beam red. 

“Nayeon, are you fucking serious?” Sana being the first to speak up, completely surprised that her elder would do such a thing. 

Your chest tightens as you watch the consequences of her actions come out to smite her down. Feeling overwhelmed that you had to hold her accountable to her closest friends and ruin the perception they had of her. 

“Sorry you had to find out this way. “

Swiftly walking away from the situation and fighting your way through the waves of people, shoulder clashing as you make haste away from the strain you put on their relationship. 

Having a hard time breathing, the panic creeping in. Ducking off to a side room that wasn’t in use, closing the door behind you and taking a set of massive breaths. Trying to regulate yourself from the excessive cortisol in your body, guilt and dread combine to create the feeling of someone sitting on your ribcage. 

In attempts to bring yourself back down to a reasonable level, you take in your surroundings. 

The room is average size with bookshelves built into the walls, filled to the brim with colorful leather laced in gold and silver accents. A dark wood desk sits facing the door, paired with a big leather office chair behind it. Two large glass doors on the far wall that part in the middle to a balcony that oversees a beautiful garden. 

Deep breath in, exhale. 

Deep breath in, exhale. 

Repeating yourself over and over again when you hear a soft knock on the door and a silvery voice speaking your name through your own huffing. You’d recognize that tone anywhere. 

Leaning over to the side, hand missing the knob once before landing on it, twisting it to let Mina in. She immediately hugs you before you hear the latch click shut. She pulls back to look into your eyes, gripping your upper arms with an empathetic look as she studies your current state. 

Realizing that you are having a hard time keeping yourself calm, she goes back to holding you. Her head on your shoulder and hand tracing up your spine to the base of your neck, twirling your hair to give you something else to focus on besides Nayeon’s outburst. 

“It’s okay…It’s alright. You’ve done nothing wrong, okay? You are safe here.” cooed to you from your own arms as Mina tries to get you to come back to her from your panic attack. It’s working better than anything else ever did. 

Breath slowly going back to normal, you lean into her touch, calming down in Mina’s arms was easy. She made hard things seem so trivial and unimportant. You put your entire face into her neck, she giggles in your ear. The ethereal woman fitting perfectly into you.

“Better?” not willing to let go until the answer was given. 

Another deep breath and a nod of your head, she releases you from the hug and starts fixing your blazer and hair, tucking a strand behind your ear before smirking at you. She kisses you quickly. 

“I’m proud of you, Y/n. I know that was probably very hard for you to sa-“ 

The door flies open, knob hitting the wall with a loud crash causing the both of you to jump and swing your heads towards the sound.

Nayeon steps in calmly, using her bag to push the door closed behind her as it bounces back at her, slamming shut. A dent in the wall from where the knob smacked it harshly, chipped paint on the floor at the sheer force used to open it. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Can you just leave me alone, Nayeon!? Isn’t this enough for you?!” breaking apart from Mina for a second, scooting in front of her. This wasn’t her argument to have and you weren’t going to let her put herself in the middle anymore than she already had.

“I think it’s funny” Nayeon starts as she paces, “that you two end up here. Together. Was this always your plan, Mina? To steal my girlfriend from me?” lowly spoken towards both of you, malice very present in her demeanor, stepping deeper into the office space.  

Your eyes follow her every move, not familiar with this flavor she was expressing. You’ve seen her act many ways but this tone and body language were unfamiliar, setting off alarms in your head that you needed to get you and Mina as far away from her as possible. 

“Nayeon, you don’t have a sa-”

“Shut the fuck up, Y/n!” snarled loud enough to feel the vibrations of her voice in your chest. 

“Don’t speak to her like that!” Mina shouts, stepping out from behind you to confront Nayeon with you, not allowing you to do this on your own. 

“You can’t just manipulate your way out of this, Nayeon.” slithers through Mina’s lips and wraps around Nayeon’s throat. 

Nayeon is just smiling calmly. It’s eerie the way she’s silent, almost threatening. She reaches into her bag without taking her eyes off Mina, swiftly pulling something small out of it and pointing it right between your eyes.

Your blood immediately runs cold. Chest tightening, heartbeat felt in every inch of your skin as you stare down the barrel of a 9mm handgun held by someone who seemed very ready to pull the trigger. 

Hands fly above your head instinctively, gulping loudly in the face of the muzzle. Sweat beads up on your forehead, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation. 

“Nayeon! What the fuck are you doing?!” Mina screamed while taking a step towards her. Nayeon pulls the hammer down, the sound of the bullet loading into the chamber makes every muscle in your back stiffen, cracking your vertebrae under the tension. 

“One more step and I’ll shoot, I’m sure you wouldn’t want that. Would you, Mina?” an evil cackle erupts her throat as she continues slowly pacing around the two of you. 

You watch her circle like a shark, following her movements as she keeps the gun pointed at your head. Stomach churning, just trying to keep from making sudden movements. 

Nayeon sees the terror in your face and winces. Observing her face to look for signs she was actually going to pull the trigger when you see it. Her eyes soften for a moment, hands lightly starting to shake as she breaks.

“Why wouldn’t you come back to me?!” tears are falling down her cheeks now, sniffling through her sentence; the distraught predator circling her fearful prey. 

“Why would you choose her?!” Shouted while carelessly pointing the gun at Mina, finger on the trigger with her face contorting into a version of her you did not know. 

Mina flinches through Nayeon’s display, jumping every time the firearm is pointed at her. Her hands are visibly shaking as Mina takes a small step back, holding her breath and shutting her eyes.

“Nayeon…maybe you should put the gun down and we can talk about this. There’s no need for something so extreme.” calmly making small movements towards her. She aggressively points the gun back at you. 

Her eyes drowning her face in tears, sucking air sharply between her teeth and holding her breath. Rage, despair, and insanity creep out onto her face, slowly dripping in unison her tears. 

“If I can’t have you…no one can.” Rapidly swinging the gun and pointing it right at Mina. . 

You immediately dive towards Nayeon, the gun goes off before you hit the ground. The window across from you shatters, small shards of glass scatter across the floor underneath you. 

A crunch inside her torso causes her to shriek out in agony. You try to wrestle the gun out of her hand, she tugs down roughly on the back of your neck with her free hand, bringing your faces closer together. Manically laughing at you and smiling.

Kubrick stare prominently on her brow as something blunt hits the back of your head, vision blurring her into two. You collapse on top of her and use as much of your weight as you can to keep her pinned to the floor and away from Mina. This falters quickly with your eyes crossing, dizzying you to the point of being unable to focus. 

The sting on your scalp is almost unbearable. Liquid warmth oozes out of the wound, pooling quickly and saturating your hair before cascading down and dripping onto Nayeon’s face and the floor around it.   

Nayeon pushes you off of her onto your back. The floor temperature cools you, still unable to stand when Nayeon stands up, wincing at every movement, and places one of her heels on your chest, pinning you down as you gasp for air. 

Your own blood is seeping through your shirt as the puddle underneath you grows. You’re suddenly tired, so sleepy. Fighting your eyes to stay open through this. 

“Don’t worry, baby! I’ll get you all fixed up once I take care of this little problem.” grimly ridiculing her intentions. 

“Nayeon, you can’t do this!” Choked out through sobs. Mina looks down at you bleeding on the floor, trying to keep a sense of poise in the face of pure terror. 

Nayeon opens her mouth to reply to Mina, you slam your fist into the back of her knee on the leg holding her above you before she can get her words out. She yelps out as her back slams against the floor, wind knocking out of her and the gun sliding out of your sight. 

Nayeon screams in agony and rage as she crawls over to you, smearing the blood leaking out from underneath you as she reaches you. Your life force coating her hands, 

She straddles your hips, you struggle underneath her too weak to push her off. She cocks her fist back and swings full force at your face, connecting to your jaw. Blood mists out of your mouth as your head is forced to the side. The droplets are audibly hitting the ground as the audible gasp is ripped from you. 

Nayeon throws another punch, wrath seeping from her pores as she swings again and again, slamming her hand down on your chest in an act of pure outrage. 

She gets up from your lap, knuckles bruised, crazy eyes, and in search of the weapon that was out of sight.  

Unable to focus your eyes, lids fluttering, choking on the blood in your mouth. You try to roll over and stand. A swift kick to the gut knocks the wind out of you. The cry stolen from you. The air depleting from your lungs is overshadowed by a combination of crying and laughing.

A gunshot rings out, ringing in your ears blocks out all other sounds. Eyes still trying to gain some form of stability as Nayeon falls to her knees in front of you, clutching her abdomen. Mouth wide open and tears falling, seemingly screaming out in pain when you feel warmth touching your face. 

Head lifting to be placed in Mina’s lap, one hand putting pressure on the wound on the back of your head. Her lips are moving as she looks down at you, seemingly mouthing your name as she tries to get you to focus on her. Eyes fighting to stay fixated on her as you fade in and out of consciousness.   

Tears streaming down her cheeks, the sounds muffled as your hearing slowly starts to regenerate, still ringing when you hear your name frantically called over the high pitched ring and muted screams.

“Y/n! Y/n! Look at me, it’s going to be okay! We are going to get you ou-”

A loud bang echoes against every fiber of your being, reducing your hearing back to nothing. You strain your eyes as hard as you can to focus on Mina, who is completely frozen. Looking over in a daze to see Nayeon, hand over her wound, slouched in the corner with the smoking gun in her hand pointed at Myoui Mina. 

The vibration in your throat tears your vocal chords as you scream out, unable to hear the sheer terror emitting from you as you see the red leaking out of her chest. Mina goes pale, tears spilling rapidly as her breathing picks up. 

You try to reach out with the last stitch of energy you have but fail, fading into total and complete darkness.

[alcoholfreenayeon]

Bittersweet

Reader x Nayeon

CW: Hint of fluff, Angst, Mention of death

Word count: 1000

Synopsis: We all have positive and negative memories, of people, events, everything that we have been through for as long as we can remember. Yet the human mind is deceitful, it alters our memories, willingly at times and sometimes unwillingly. And the human heart is selfish, it makes sure to never forget how it felt like to be loved yet hides the anguish that is felt upon heartbreak. Combining the altered memories and feelings, it makes us yearn for what once was, it makes us hear what was never said, it makes us see what isn’t there, to speak what we never could and most importantly, it makes us feel what we once felt. Until that actually happens, and then we do not like what hear, we do not like what we see and absolutely loathe what we have to feel.    

You got back home, tired, heading straight to the bedroom. You quickly change and go to your bed, leaning against the bed’s headrest, scrolling through your phone like you do every day before going to sleep. That’s when you see her slowly poke her head into the room to see if you are there and upon seeing you, she smiles slowly, she smiles longingly.

“Hi, you are back already?”, Nayeon says approaching you, stopping at the edge of the bed.

You have mixed feelings and mixed feelings about feeling that way as well. Things were never supposed to go this way, especially when everything was going so well. Swallowing your airs bitterly, you look at her and nod with a small bitter smile, “Yeah, like every other day. You would know if you came to visit everyday instead of whenever you felt bored”, you regret your words as soon as they leave your mouth, even more so when you see the flash of pain on her face for a moment before she tried to hide it.

“That’s not fair. You know I’m trying my best, less for myself and more for you”, she replies with a sting in her voice as she avoids looking at you in eye.

You already knew that, but you still wanted to hear it from her, every time, to convince yourself that it wasn’t you but her, despite knowing that was extremely selfish of you. You take a shaky breath and look at her sadly, “I…I’m sorry…I just-”.

She huffs, half amused, “You know you don’t have to be, it’s not your fault. Besides what’s done is done.”

“I hate it when you say that”, you say, folding your arms and looking miserable.    

Nayeon snickers and sits down next to you, putting her hand on top of yours. You freeze for a moment, panic rising in your chest and the feeling of anguish spreading all over your body and you shift a little bit unintentionally. Nayeon looks at you, surprised and hurt by your reaction, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”, she starts, withdrawing her hand but you interrupt her.

“No, it’s ok, I was just surprised, I didn’t expect….”, you trail off and try to nudge her gently with your shoulder but since you shifted there was too much distance between the two of you, so you missed but your action made your intention clear. She nods solemnly, feeling a bit relieved as she stares at her legs.

You hated it, you hated this so much. This rift between you and Nayeon causing what once felt like the most loving and warm touch of hers to now feel like a cold and distant one. You sink lower, turning to your side to face her, looking up at her for a moment, feeling a bit relieved that at least she still looks at you like she did before. Shutting your eyes and sighing heavily, trying to focus on falling asleep.

Nayeon smiled a small sad smile as she looked at you, just staying by your side, wanting to be close to you. The two of you stayed that way for a few minutes before she realized you had already fallen asleep. She sighs and smiles, touching your cheek gently, her heart aching, knowing it was probably time for her to leave.

As her hands leave your cheek, you mumble, “please…don’t go,”.

She freezes, pain, she feels so much pain, even more so when she sees that you said it in your sleep. She could practically feel her tears welling up, but she knew she couldn’t stay, she wanted to, she really did, more than anything else. But that was the cruelty of love, she knew that her staying would cause you more pain even if you wouldn’t admit it, she could see it in your eyes. Breathing shakily, she thought to herself that maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t be bad to be selfish. Just this once, she tries to convince herself.

Hours later, you wake up groggily and lie still for a few minutes, rubbing your eyes and sitting up before you recall last night and look around for Nayeon. She isn’t there, you sigh and softly shake your head and fall back down. You didn’t expect her to stay but it still hurt. You didn’t get to tell her goodbye…again. And you don’t know when you will see her next, tomorrow? in 6 months? if at all. You are distracted when you see your phone buzz, glancing it at you see it’s just a notification from your calendar. You didn’t need a reminder for today though, you could never forget this day. The day that changed your life forever, the day that made you feel like you lost it all, and in your heart, you did, lose it all. The memory so fresh in your mind, it may as well have happened seconds ago. You sigh and pick your phone up, staring at the notification, “Nayeon’s Death Anniversary”.