#long post under the cut

[gallusrostromegalus]

Move To A Darker Place

This is a story of Man Vs. Machine.

---

Last March, my father attempted to file his Taxes.

My beloved father is a Boomer. Unlike most Boomers, my father is rather handy with technology because he was one of the people that had a not-insignificant hand in Developing a hell of a lot of it. He was studying Computer Science at Cal Poly before the computer science degree existed. I have many fond childhood memories of skipping through the aisles of various electronic and computer part warehouses while Dad described something that either terrified the staff or made them worship him as a God.  He taught himself how to use his smartphone.  Internationally.

So when he saw the option to file digitally with the IRS through the “ID.me” program, he leapt at the chance to celebrate the Federal Government finally entering the Digital Age.

It was all going swimmingly for about six hours, until he was ready to file and the system told him that it needed to verify his identity. 

“Very Well.” said my father, a man unafraid of talking to himself and getting something out of the conversation. “It wouldn’t do for me to get someone else’s return.”

The System told him that it needed him to take a “Digital Image ID”.

a.k.a: A Selfie.

“A-ha!” Dad beams. Dad is very good at taking selfies. He immediately pulled out his phone, snapped one, and tried to upload it.

Please log into your Id.me Account and use the provided app to submit your Digital Image ID. The System clarified.

“Oh. You should have said so.”  Dad pouted, but used his phone to log onto the ID.me account, do the six security verification steps and double-checked that the filing looked the same as it did on the desktop, gave the IRS like nine permissions on his phone, and held up the camera to take his Federal Privacy Invasion Selfie.

Please align your face to the indicated grid. Said The System, pulling up a futuristic green-web-of-polygons approximation.

“Ooh, very Star Trek. Gene Roddenberry would HATE this!” Dad said cheerfully, aligning his face to the grid.  My father is a bit… cavalier, when it comes to matters of personal information and federal government, because he’s been on FBI watchlists since the late 60’s when he was protesting The Vietnam War and Ronald Regan before he’d broken containment. Alas.

Anyway, there is very little information the federal government does not have on him already, but he’s as good at stalking the FBI as they are at stalking him, and had worked out a solution:  He has something approaching a friendship with the local Federal Agent (Some guy named “Larry”. Allegedly), and got Larry hooked on Alternative Histories and Dad’s collection of carefully-researched “there is very likely buried treasure here” stories, and Larry is loath to bother his favorite Historical Fanfiction author too much.

But I digress.

After thinking for a minute, The System came back with an Error Message. Please remove glasses or other facial obstructions.

And here is where the real trouble began.

See, my father wears glasses that do substantially warp the appearance of his face, because he is so nearsighted that he is legally blind without them. His natural focal point is about 4 inches in front of his nose.  While Dad can still take a selfie because he (approximately) knows where his phone is if it’s in his hand, he cannot see the alignment grid.

He should ask someone to take it for him! I hear the audience say. Yes, that would be the sane and reasonable thing to do, but Dad was attempting to do taxes at his residence in Fort Collins, while his immediate family was respectively in Denver, Texas and Canada.  He tried calling our neighbors, who turned out to be in Uganda.

He looked down at the dog, Arwen, and her little criminal paws that can open doorknobs, but not operate cell phones.

She looked back at him, and farted.

“Well, I’ll give it a try, but if it gives me too much trouble, I’ll call Larry, and Larry can call the IRS about it.” Dad told her. 

She continued to watch him. Arwen is an Australian Kelpie (a type of cattle-herding dog), going on 14 years old, deaf as a post and suffering from canine dementia now, but she still retains her natural instinct to Micromanage. She was also trained as a therapy dog, and even if she can’t hear my dad, still recognizes the body language of a man setting himself up for catastrophe.

So, squinting in the late afternoon light next to the back door, Dad attempted to line his face up with a grid he could only sort-of see, and took A Federal Selfie.

The System thought about it for a few moments.

Image Capture Failed: Insufficient Contrast. The System replied. Please move to a darker place.

“...Huh.” Dad frowned. “Alright.”

He moved to the middle of his office, away from the back door, lit only by the house lighting and indirect sunlight, and tried again.

Image Capture Failed. Please move to a darker place.

“What?” Dad asked the universe in general.

“Whuff.” Arwen warned him against sunk costs.

Dad ignored her and went into the bathroom, the natural habitat of the selfie. Surely, only being lit by a light fixture that hadn’t been changed since Dad was attempting to warn everyone about Regan would be suitably insufficient lighting for The System.  It took some negotiating, because that bathroom is “Standing Room Only” not “Standing And Holding Your Arms Out In Front Of You Room”.  He ended up taking the selfie in the shower stall.

As The System mulled over the latest attempt, Arwen shuffled over and kicked open the door to watch.

Image Capture Failed. Please Move to a Darker Place.

“Do you mean Spiritually?” Dad demanded.

“Whuff.” Arwen cautioned him again.

Determined to succeed, or at least get a different error message that may give him more information, Dad entered The Downstairs Guest Room.  It is the darkest room in the house, as it is in the basement, and only has one legally-mandated-fire-escape window, which has blinds.  Dad drew those blinds, turned off the lights and tried AGAIN.

Image Capture Failed. Please Move To A Darker Place.

“DO YOU WANT ME TO PHOTOGRAPH MYSELF INSIDE OF A CAVE??” Dad howled. 

“WHUFF!” Arwen reprimanded him from under the pull-out bed in the room. It’s where she attempts to herd everyone when it’s thundering outside, so the space is called her ‘Safety Cave’.

Dad frowned at the large blurry shape that was The Safety Cave.

“Why not?” he asked, the prelude to many a Terrible Plan.  With no small amount of spiteful and manic glee, Dad got down onto the floor, and army-crawled under the bed with Arwen to try One Last Time. Now in near-total darkness, he rolled on his side to be able to stretch his arms out, Arwen slobber-panting in his ear, and waited for the vague green blob of the Facial grid to appear.

This time, when he tapped the button, the flash cctivated.

“GOD DAMN IT!” Dad shouted, dropping the phone and rubbing his eyes and cursing to alleviate the pain of accidentally flash-banging himself. Arwen shuffled away from him under the bed, huffing sarcastically at him.

Image Capture Failed. Please move to a darker place.

“MOTHERFU- hang on.” Dad squinted.  The System sounded strange. Distant and slightly muffled.

Dad squinted really hard, and saw the movement of Arwen crawling out from under the bed along the phone’s last known trajectory.

“ARWEN!” Dad shouted, awkwardly reverse-army crawling out from under the bed, using it to get to his feet and searching for his glasses, which had fallen out of his pocket under the bed, so by the time he was sighted again, Arwen had had ample time to remove The Offending Device.

He found her out in the middle of the back yard, the satisfied look of a Job Well Done on her face. She did not have the phone. 

“Arwen.” Dad glared. It’s a very good glare. Dad was a teacher for many years and used it to keep his class in order with sheer telepathically induced embarrassment, and his father once glared a peach tree into fecundity.  

Arwen regarded him with the casual interest a hurricane might regard a sailboat tumbling out of its wake. She is a force of nature unto herself and not about to be intimidated by a half-blind house ape.  She also has cataracts and might not be able to make out the glare.

“I GIVE UP!” Dad shouted, throwing his hands in the air and returning to the office to write to the IRS that their selfie software sucks ass. Pleased that she had gotten her desired result, Arwen followed him in.

To Dad’s immense surprise, the computer cheerfully informed him that his Federally Secure Selfie had been accepted, and that they had received and were now processing his return!

“What the FUCK?” Dad glared. “Oh well. If I’ve screwed it up, Larry can call me.”

---

I bring this up because recently, Dad received an interesting piece of mail.

It was a letter from the IRS, addressed to him, a nerve-wracking thing to recessive at the best of times.  Instead of a complaint about Dad’s Selfie Skills, it was a letter congratulating him on using the new ID.me System.  It thanked him for his help and expressed hopes he would use it again next year, and included the selfie that The System had finally decided to accept.

“You know, my dad used to complain about automation.” Dad sighed, staring at the image. “Incidentals my boy!  My secretary saves the state of California millions of dollars a year catching small errors before they become massive ones! He’d say. Fought the human resources board about her pay every year.  I used to think he was overestimating how bad machines were and underestimating human error, but you know? He was right.”

He handed me the image.

My father was, technically, in the image.  A significant amount of the bottom right corner is taken up by the top of his forehead and silver hair.  Most of the image, the part with the facial-recognition markers on it, was composed of Arwen’s Alarmed and Disgusted Doggy face.

“Oh no!” I cackled. “Crap, does this mean you have to call the IRS and tell them you’re not a dog?”

“Probably.” Dad sighed. “I know who I’m gonna bother first though.” he said, taking out his phone (Dad did find his phone a few hours after Arwen absconded with it when mom called and the early spinach started ringing). 

“Hey Larry!” Dad announced to the local federal agent. “You’re never gonna believe this. My dog filed my taxes!”

Larry considered this for a moment. “Is this the dog that stole my sandwich? Out of my locked  car?” he asked suspiciously.

“The very same.” Dad grinned.

“Hm. Clever Girl.” Federal Agent Larry sighed. “I figured it was only a matter of time before she got into tax fraud.”

---

I'm a disabled artist making my living writing these stories. If you enjoy my stories, please consider supporting me on Ko-fi or Pre-ordering my Family Lore Book on Patreon. Thank you!

[jesncin]

Caped Crusader, "Safe Diversity", and Catwoman

We're at a point where it's expected that a new incarnation of any story previously with a white-dominated cast would be reimagined with a "more diverse" cast. This can mean racebending them, genderbending them or making them queer, but for the purposes of this analysis we'll be focusing on racebends. Most of the time, executives will take the "safer" routes with diversifying their cast- pick a couple of unproblematic supporting characters to be incidentally "diverse this time". Other times, there might be "braver" takes where more prominent characters (perhaps even the main character) are racebent. This doesn't necessarily mean racebending prominent characters is an inherently better thing to do.

I've been more than critical of MAWS' portrayal of BIPOC characters but especially their Asian Lois before. Sometimes BIPOC representation is just a decorative palette-swap change for these shows. Caped Crusader however, is different. It's more complicated- but it's rooted in very similar problems. Unlike MAWS (though I can only speak for S1), CC is far more willing to take on political topics: classism, sexism, police corruption and brutality, even beauty standards in the entertainment industry! Yet, in choosing to portray these topics in their stylistically anachronistic 30s-40s set piece- it makes it so the show's reluctance to discuss race intersecting with any of these topics far more apparent.

(spoilers for all of Caped Crusader)

Take for instance, episode 2: "...And Be A Villain". The story is about Basil Karlo, a less than handsome actor who wishes his appearance wasn't holding him back from both love and playing roles saved for better looking people. He makes a deal with Jack Ellman, an experimental makeup artist who turns him into Clayface. This story is set in motion when Miss Yvonne Francis, a beautiful actress, goes missing. Miss Francis is a woman of color (brown skinned, unspecified) played by Lacey Chabert: a white actress. CC goes for a generally colorblind casting what with Stephie (a white girl) being voiced by Amari McCoy (a Black actress) but it always feels icky when a white actor voices a character of color. Prominent characters of color in CC are more accurately casted. However I do think animation should be wary of using their medium to get away with their show appearing more diverse than the actual talent behind it.

The episode's theme is pretty clear on how unfair the entertainment industry is in regards to who it prioritizes in leading roles. Basil is constantly emphasized as a tragically talented actor whose appearance is holding him back. "With your talent you should be a leading man, Basil." Yvonne says to Basil in a flashback. Meanwhile as Alfred is watching through movie clips featuring Yvonne and Basil together, he comments "while lovely to look at, Miss Francis is no Gloria Swanson." So Yvonne has the looks, but not the talent and still gets prestigious roles because that's showbiz. The only time this is weirdly inconsistent is when Yvonne calls out Basil/Clayface in the finale, saying:

"I don't believe your performance. You're chewing on scenery. Relying on makeup effects to enhance weak characterization. It's insincere, Basil. It's not real."

I honestly feel like this scene was just meant to quickly "subvert" Yvonne being a damsel in distress by having her call out Basil's acting. It's a moment that isn't reinforced by anything the episode set up. After all, according to Alfred, she's not as good an actor compared to Basil. That's supposed to be how they foil each other, so this moment feels unmotivated. Again, I get what they're going for, that Basil's performance ironically relies on his newfound appearance so much that even a bad actress like Yvonne can spot his meager acting. But it doesn't work when our protagonists were actually convinced by his imitation of others. She's still a damsel in distress character regardless of her having a bit of attitude when calling her captor out.

What I don't understand is: why make Yvonne a woman of color if this was the story you wanted to tell? It's not like they're paying homage to how her voice actress looks, after all. Why, in your story set in purposely anachronistic 30s-40s era noir, did the character who was meant to represent the epitome of "not talented but gets by the industry because of her conventional beauty and pretty privilege" a woman of color? We're missing the very obvious conversation here where Tinsel Town is a white industry with white biases to what it considers attractive. It doesn't matter how many attractive actors of color exist, they're still pigeon holed into stereotyped and often racist roles (especially back then), and have to work twice as hard to get the opportunities their white colleagues get. Why is Basil, a white man, the only one afforded a marginalized narrative when Yvonne is quite literally a woman of color right next to him? The episode is especially painful to sit through when Basil is afforded so much sympathy compared to Yvonne.

"He didn't have the right look. He didn't have the right face."

"The camera is kind to some, but cruel to others."

This is transparently a colorblind narrative. Yvonne is written and even casted as a white woman. The CC crew just decided she should be a WOC likely because "wouldn't it be neat if the beautiful actress in this story is POC" without thinking about how that would drastically change a narrative already critical of the showbiz industry based on appearances. It's not intersectional and flattens the narrative to being selective of the prejudices Tinsel Town has. This episode is a great example to what CC generally does with diversity. It's not afraid to be critical of society, but it gets oddly squeamish with discussing how race intersects with these topics- opting mostly for a palette-change type of representation.

It's not entirely fair to say CC doesn't ever touch on the topic of racism. It sort of does: if you read between the lines for why the mayor gives Jim Gordon his commissioner role, and more prominently with the Gentleman Ghost (a rich aristocrat ghost that steals from the poor, believing wealth is his right) being offended that his mansion is sold to Lucius Fox (saying "and you would sell it to rabble like this?")- racism is somewhat present in the world of CC. We see the women in this show experience misogyny, but it's ambiguous if any of their struggles are intersectional with that of race. But that's... just about it. Racism isn't discussed more than it is alluded to, whenever the writers decide it's relevant. Because of this, CC has a spectrum of hits and misses when it comes to integrating characters of color in their reimagined cast.

Here's how I would visualize that spectrum using canonized instances of Asian Lois Lane. I should emphasize that representation of people of color doesn't entail the narrative owing us "a racism arc" or what have you. This spectrum is more used to measure how much racial identity was integrated in the characterization of the character: whether that be cultural identity or history. Being a person of color isn't just "person who goes through racism".

This is how I'd personally place the prominent characters of color in CC on my "spectrum of racebends" chart. Generally most of the characters of color (whether reimagined that way or were originally POC already) are fairly harmless in how they were integrated into CC's world, but none of the characters feel bespoke as a reimagining of the character and are interchangeable with their white counterparts. To quote cartoonist Juni Ba (in a discussion on CC):

"...stripping characters of color in these time period stories of any cultural, [a]esthetic or social signifiers that’d make them true to the groups being represented. Instead they dress, act and speak very western."

In my opinion, the only character that is an exception to this is Linton Midnite (or as he's popularly known as: "Papa Midnite"). Midnite is a character so interlinked with Haitian culture and mysticism that even CC couldn't erase that aspect of his identity (important note: historically, the portrayal of Midnite since his creation is riddled in racism, but that's not my place to discuss here). Midnite at most speaks with an accent, dresses more nonconformingly compared to the western standard dress of all the other characters, and practices occultish stuff (though I don't think there was anything culturally specific in that episode, please correct me otherwise if someone has more insight!). That's a lot more cultural representation than just about any other character of color in CC. Midnite can't be changed to a white character, his African identity is too interlinked with who he is.

There are a few characters I consider in poor taste to be POC- that being Arnold Flass, Yvonne Francis (who we've covered already), and Harley Quinn (who will be getting her own post, as her case is complicated). So let's talk about cops, then.

I tend to be indifferent about media choosing to diversify cop characters because it feels like choosing the most "respectable to society" role for a marginalized character to play. Cops uphold bigoted systems of power at the end of the day, so that's a very comfortable place to represent your marginalized characters. It's why we keep getting gay or lesbian cops, which Batman media absolutely perpetuates as well with Renee Montoya. It's hard to cheer for two women of color being allowed to date and kiss in public when one of them is a cop, y'know? But this doesn't mean re-imagining cop characters doesn't have narrative merit.

In regards to Jim Gordon being reimagined as a Black cop, I'm gonna refer to La'Ron Readus' video on "Fixing the Batman's Copaganda problem" where he goes into detail about the missed potential of Black!Jim Gordon from Reeves' The Batman (2022). Generally, I felt that opportunity was missed in CC as well. While I love that Barbara Gordon is in CC, nothing about her being a WOC is integrated into this version of her. It felt like if either character was white, the story wouldn't be that different. The bigger issue here is the choice to racebend Arnold Flass- a previously white, blonde, cunningly smart, and brutally corrupt cop.

CC follows some of this in their version of Arnold Flass- he's paired with Harvey Bullock (also a corrupt cop). While Bullock is the brawns of the duo, Flass is the smarts. He's cunning and even implied to be willing to frame Bullock if the worse comes to it. It isn't an inherently bad idea to racebend a corrupt white cop into a Black cop. If the writers want to tell a story about how the police force assimilates people of color into the system and forces them to be just as if not more brutal than their white counterparts, then by all means tell that story.

But that's not what CC gave us. By rarely acknowledging race, we don't get to have a conversation or themes surrounding that delicate intersection of identities. We just have "diverse Flass". Look at these panels from Year One for example, can you imagine how Flass' casual disrespect for Gordon by constantly calling him "Jimmy" could be re-contextualized with a race change? Unlike other characters who just feel like missed opportunities for not integrating race into their characterization, Flass is an elephant in the room. To not acknowledge his race in themes of police corruption and brutality is to white wash the narrative with diverse paint.

I personally think the stronger narrative decision would have been to racebend Bullock as Black instead of Flass. Flass could still be the conniving cop, but he encourages Black!Bullock to be the more "violent brute" who does the dirty work for him. It would put a newfound racial layer to how Flass considers Bullock disposable. Then we could have some kind of commentary on how the police force encourages a system of abuse that makes even fellow POC turn on each other. It'd also make it so a certain scene would be better in optics.

I have many criticisms for the scene where Batman holds a gun to Flass in the finale of CC. It's a narratively unmotivated (see my criticisms for CC's Two Face here for elaboration) and weak moment that relies on metatextual shock value to cover up how underdeveloped this take on Batman is. But it's also just very uncomfortable optics-wise. It's a common and valid criticism that Batman as a character can very easily fall into copaganda, with his status, goals, and collaboration with the police force. In many ways, Batman is often written to be committing his own kind of vigilante police brutality.

Caped Crusader wants to be a deconstruction of a Batman tied to power and hellbent on his mission to eliminate crime. But because CC occasionally omits race from its narrative, the scene where Batman holds a gun to a Black cop-a man stripped of his ability to fight back-just falls flat for me. There's no acknowledgement in this scene that Batman basically gets to be an anonymous cop, "warning shots" and all. Batman shoots at an unarmed Black man several times. It's meant to be shocking to us how Bruce is willing to stoop to such a level and indulge in gratuitous gun violence, but it honestly hits too close to real incidents where this is racially the case for me to enjoy the narrative point of this scene.

You know a character who would be perfect for calling out Batman's many privileges? Selina Kyle. Let's talk about Caped Crusader's biggest downgrade.

I've heard just about all the arguments in favor for CC's reimagining of Catwoman and none have convinced me that this was in any way a good take on the character. I see people saying that this Catwoman is a return to her golden age roots, and there's a lot of misconception surrounding that assumption. So bear with me as looking at Catwoman's history is necessary to discuss race and how a character evolves.

Catwoman debuted in the 1940s as a jewel thief who disguised herself as an old lady. She was just called "The Cat" and would not don her more feline appearance until later. True to the mystery woman femme fatale trope she was inspired by, her backstory was left unknown for a long time. 10 years later, in Batman #62 it is revealed that after a plane accident bonked her head, the now named Selina Kyle got amnesia and went on a crime spree. Giving her leeway to reform and be an ally to Batman. This would historically inform how Selina Kyle toed the line between good and evil as an anti-hero.

Her origin would be revisited in 1983, in the Brave and the Bold #197. Although not canon to the mainline universe, it is still a crucial development for her character's history. In this story, Selina reveals that she lied about having amnesia to get out of facing punishment. Her true story was that she entered a life of crime to escape an abusive relationship with a rich man. The only loss her husband understood was material loss, loss of property, so stealing was how Selina fought back.

This crucial re-examination of her character transformed her from shenanigans inducing femme fatale, to a marginalized fighter. Shortly later in 1987 in Batman Year One, Catwoman is reimagined as a street-hardened sex worker in poverty. She is inspired by the Batman to become a vigilante for her own goals and gets annoyed that she's assumed to be his sidekick.

The moment Catwoman became marginalized by power, was the point where she became worthy of solo-character status. She was not only a compelling foil to Batman-capable of going toe to toe with him and make him question his motives even though she did not share his privilege-she could lead her own adventures reflecting a side of Gotham Bruce Wayne's perspective doesn't. She actively makes the setting of Gotham stronger because of how she's evolved as a character.

Catwoman's character would continue to evolve, with some iterations reimagining her as a latina woman and others where she's canonically bisexual.

While Catwoman has been portrayed by Black actresses before, I want to focus on the most recent and prominent iteration of a race-swapped Catwoman. When Matt Reeves' The Batman (2022) featured Zoe Kravitz as Selina Kyle, an explicitly biracial character within the text of the story, we see another step this character evolves. I think La'Ron Readus' video on "Why Race-Swapped Characters Are Not The Full Story" does a fantastic job of explaining why this is a narratively great race swap. To summarize (though I do encourage watching his video as he goes into depth about 2022 Batman's Jim Gordon as well among many other examples) and add analysis of my own: Selina being the byproduct of an Italian crime lord and a Black sex worker is a brilliant marriage of her original backstory (being connected to and abused by powerful men) and her modern backstory where she's poverty stricken (and tangentially related to a sex worker if we're talking about Batman Year One).

We understand why someone of her background would have an affinity for stray cats because of how she lost her mom at a young age, she is sympathetic to fellow people from the lower class, and explicitly calls out privileged white people- including Batman who attempted to over moralize Selina's partner as a sex worker.

"All anyone cares about in this place, are these white privileged assholes."

It's especially that last line that makes it so Selina's character isn't interchangeable with her white counterpart. She's a textually rich character to contrast Bruce in Batman 2022, and we can see how years of history and evolution has brought such an empathetic character to the screen. Interestingly, Readus feels that while 2022 Selina was an example of a race-swap that works, he believes it was great by coincidence, because of the miss that was Gordon's characterization in the same movie. I think with Reeves as a collaborator on Caped Crusader, that assumption was correct.

Selina in CC is back to being a rich socialite, but (unlike her Golden Age counterpart) she's not married into wealth- she's got generational wealth (with a dad serving jail time for tax evasion). Worse yet, she's taking what little remains of her money and spending it on superficially imitating the Batman to create her Catwoman persona. She even has her own reluctant Alfred, a Catmobile, the works. Selina steals things because. She likes shiny things. And is something of a kleptomaniac. Catwoman is instantly discovered to be Selina because of course she's not as good as Batman is with keeping a secret identity (another key difference from her Golden Age counterpart, whose backstory was shrouded in mystery for a decade).

It is laughable to me that CC touts that their version of Harley Quinn has an origin of her own outside of the Joker, only to turn around and make a Catwoman that is completely tied to copying a man as her origin (did they decide Harley's goofyness as a character needed to be replicated in Selina for some reason? In their supposed dark and edgy show?). What a strange choice to fixate on the part in Year One where Selina didn't like being mistaken for Batman's assistant despite being inspired by him and turn it into a quirky bit. It feels like such a regressive take that frames Selina as a sillier, whimsical version of Bruce that just spends money on a whim because women just aren't smart enough to know how to keep track of their money. They're too busy looking for shiny things to steal. The fact that both 2022 Batman and CC have a scene where Selina is looking through her many bills she's yet to pay is wild to me. How am I supposed to care for a Selina that has the expendable wealth to create a Catwoman costume, car, and gadgets, but delay paying her maid? One of these versions of Selina is far more sympathetic than the other.

Again, I get what CC is going for. Batman is characterized to be hellbent on catching criminals, Catwoman is supposed to serve as some kind of reflection of his obsession. They're both self destructive in their goals, but one is vengeance and the other is chasing thrills. But is that really as interesting a foil as having Catwoman be marginalized, just as skilled, and making Batman second guess himself? Is it a take that strengthens Gotham as a setting by shedding light on its lower class characters? Is it a take that makes her worth revisiting as a perpetual rogue and not a one off episode where's she's basically a shenanigans-inducing nuisance to Batman? Evolved takes on Catwoman have talked about her desire to seek thrills and paired it with how she dismantles power. So it's not like CC's take is particularly unique, it just lacks all the depth that usually surrounds Selina's thrill seeking.

In a show that is frankly desperate to make it so Bruce doesn't have a personal relationship to his rogues gallery because he's too busy being "A cold, remorseless avenger of evil, seemingly more machine than man. Forged in the fire of tragedy, every fiber of his being is dedicated to the eradication of crime." (according to promo) that's how we end up with Barbara as the foil and humanity to both Harvey Dent and Harley Quinn. How the show focuses on the police force more than Bruce. It feels especially pointed that Catwoman is characterized this way. When she doesn't contrast Bruce, she becomes less personal to him as a character that is poverty stricken but still matches up to him in skill. She can't challenge him or his worldview, he can't find her fascinating as an equal, all of their chemistry and intrigue is erased.

All this to say that of the characters revealed for CC, I was honestly surprised that Selina wasn't one of the many characters racebent. CC followed up on a Black Jim and Barbara Gordon, two characters that have been race swapped before in previous media. Most prominently! Harley is Asian in this iteration, something never done before. So why is it that Selina doesn't follow up on the many times she's been portrayed by Black actresses?

It's because it's an actual good racebend if written well. It wouldn't be a "safe" racebend because writing Selina this way means you'd have to acknowledge racism, and it would be much more noticeable if you didn't. There is no canonized version of Asian Lois Lane that parallels her relationship to Superman as an immigrant. But there is a version of Selina as a Black woman who directly calls out white people and is aware of systemic power. It's in something as prominent and mainstream as Matt Reeves' 2022 Batman. So instead it just reads as cowardice to me that CC couldn't follow up on this evolution of Selina.

Not only does it weaken Catwoman and Batman's relationship to regress Selina this way, but it actively weakens Gotham as a setting and the very themes of Caped Crusader. I personally think all the energy that went into Harley Quinn should have been shared with (or straight up gone to) Selina Kyle. Because unlike CC's take on Harley, the way Selina Kyle's marginalization intersects with race and queerness would have actually critiqued Gotham's class corruption effectively. As a Black queer woman, Selina would be among the most vulnerable people in Gotham. We don't have prominent characters in CC that truly reflect the lower class, there are these unnamed characters Harvey Dent sits next to on a train. There are some orphans with Batfam names. A proper Catwoman reimagining that takes advantage of her evolution would have filled this gap in their narrative.

But that's not how "safe diversity" works. CC would rather racebend and canonize the queerness of a character like their take on Harley Quinn. A WOC who gets to kiss a cop and call out powerful men, but not in a way that makes white people uncomfortable.

If I could edit the Sandman quote that "The great stories will always return to their original forms" for Superheroes, I'd say "The great stories will always return to their most resonant forms" because without iterations we don't get characters like the Kents, Alfred or Catwoman as we know her today. Classics are good to look to, but we like these characters because they evolve. In my opinion, none of CC's takes on these characters of color feel resonant. They're not definitive to the level of Mister Freeze's tragic love story in BTAS, among many standout narrative choices in BTAS that continue across media iterations.

In my opinion, CC isn't as thoroughly clumsy as MAWS is in regards to POC representation and race-swaps (all characters of color in MAWS get put in the left side of that chart I made. In the Sunken Place. Where they all Missed The Movement). However, I can't help but see Caped Crusader's take on the world of Gotham as nothing more than an anecdote in the evolution of Batman's story for the modern era. "It's BTAS but superficially more diverse and with less compelling narrative choices."

[myenemytolover]

i love you (but I cannot survive you) — a thiam playlist

i. All I Want | Kodaline

'Cause you brought out the best of me, a part of me I'd never seen. You took my soul and wiped it clean; our love was made for movie screens.

ii. The Killer Was a Coward | Dermot Kennedy

And when I think of you, I think of spirit defined, and I think of all the love that we shared in a very dark time.

iii. Demons | Imagine Dragons

Don't wanna let you down, but I am hell-bound. Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth.

iv. Take on the World | You Me At Six

And nobody knows you the way that I know you; we'll fight, we'll crawl into the night. I won't let go; with you by my side, the calm, the storm, we'll face it all.

v. Eyes on Fire | Blue Foundation

And just in time, in the right place, steadily emerging with grace.

vi. I Found | Amber Run

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me.

vii. Litost | X Ambassadors

And how long must I stay? Will I lay by your side just to say that I'm yours and you'll never be mine?

viii. Another Love | Tom Odell

And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight, but my hands been broken, one too many times, so I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude.

ix. Fortnight | Taylor Swift; Post Malone

And I love you; it's ruining my life.

x. The Show | Niall Horan

Life is like a board game some of the time; mistakes and heartbreaks are no crime, but there's a lot creeping through under broken skies.

xi. Guilty as Sin | Taylor Swift

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

xii. Us | James Bay

I still hear the howling, I still feel the rush; over the riots, above all the noise, and through all the worry, I still hear your voice.

xiii. Fade | Lewis Capaldi

That I'd end up so caught up in need of your demons that I'd be lost without you leading me astray. Guess I'm such a fucking fool for the way that you caught me.

xiv. Saturdays | Louis Tomlinson

My heart might be broken, but I won't be broken down.

xv. Fine Line | Harry Styles

You've got my devotion, but man, I can hate you sometimes.

xvi. The Great War | Taylor Swift

It turned into something bigger. Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed.

xvii. Holding On To Heartache | Louis Tomlinson

I called you twice, but then regretted it and changed my number.

xviii. Hoax | Taylor Swift

My only one, my kingdom come undone, my broken drum; you have beaten my heart. Don't want no other shade of blue but you; no other sadness in the world would do.

xix. I miss you, I'm sorry | Gracie Abrams

Nothing happened in the way I wanted; every corner of this house is haunted.

xx. my tears ricochet | Taylor Swift

And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.

xxi. favorite crime | Olivia Rodrigo

I defended you to all my friends, and now, every time a siren sounds, I wonder if you're around 'cause you know that I'd do it all again.

xxii. Somebody to Die For | Hurts

And there's no hell that he can show me that's deeper than my pride 'cause I will never be forgotten. Forever, I'll fight.

xxiii. So High School | Taylor Swift

No one's ever had me, not like you...Truth, dare, spin bottles, you know how to ball; I know Aristotle.

xxiv. Complex | Katie Gregson-MacLeod

I need him like water; he thinks that I'm alright. I'm not feeling human; I think he's a good guy, but it's complex. It's a complex.

xxv. Ghost Of You | 5 Seconds of Summer

So I drown it out like I always do. Dancing through our house with the ghost of you, and I chase it down, with a shot of truth, that my feet don't dance like they did with you.

xxvi. Give Me Love | Ed Sheeran

Give me love like never before 'cause lately I've been craving more and it's been a while, but I still feel the same.

xxvii. illicit affairs | Taylor Swift

And you know damn well, for you, I would ruin myself a million little times.

xxviii. Holding On And Letting Go | Ross Copperman

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't.

xxix. Atlantis | Seafret

Now all the birds have fled, the hurt just leaves me scared.

xxx. Hurricane | Fleurie

Though I am breaking down again, I am aching now to let you in.

xxxi. You and I | PVRIS

We can meet in the middle, bodies and souls collide. Dance in the moonlight when all the stars align.

xxxii. Crazy in Love - Remix | Beyonce

I'm not myself. Lately, I'm foolish; I don't do this. I've been playing myself, baby I don't care.

xxxiii. this is me trying | Taylor Swift

And maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway.

xxxiv. Can't Catch Me Now | Olivia Rodrigo

You can't catch me now, I'm coming like a storm into your town.

xxxv. Perfect | Hedley

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying 'cause that's what I said I would do from the start.

xxxvi. Til My Heart Stops | Too Far Moon

I almost died the day I lost you; I'll keep breathing til my heart stops.

xxxvii. The Alchemy | Taylor Swift

There was no chance, trying to be the greatest in the league. Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me.

xxxviii. The Exit | Conan Gray

Feels like we had matching wounds, but mine's still black and bruised, and yours is perfectly fine now. Feels like we buried alive something that never died.

xxxix. Don't Forget About Me | CLOVES

Lost through time, and that's all I need: so much love, then one day buried. Hope you're safe, 'cause I Iay you leaves; is there more than we can see?

xl. Hurts Like Hell | Fleurie

I don't want them to know the way I loved you; I don't think they'd understand it, no. I don't think they would accept me, no. I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.

xli. Is There Somewhere | Halsey

'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings, and you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.

xlii. Burn with You | Lea Michele

We're not healthy, barely breathing, but this pain keeps my heart beating.

xliii. Cringe | Matt Maeson

Lover, come hold me; could you forget? That I got a secret, digging a ditch.

xliv. Him & I | G-Eazy; Halsey

We got that love, the crazy kind. I am his, and he is mine, in the end, it's him and I.

xlv. An Evening I Will Not Forget / Furthest Thing | Dermot Kennedy

Days with nothing but laughing loud underneath my coat, when you tap my shoulder, hold my hand; nights with nothing but dark in there, you could be my armor then.

xlvi. Call It What You Want | Taylor Swift

You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?

xlvii. I'll Never Love Again | Lady Gaga

And I want to pretend that it's not true, oh baby, that you're gone 'cause my world keeps turning, and turning, and turning, and I'm not moving on.

xlviii. This Town | Niall Horan

And I know that it's wrong that I can't move on, but there's something about you. If the whole world was watching, I'd still dance with you.

xlix. Without Fear | Dermot Kennedy

And now I really think you're heaven-sent 'cause you've been forcin' all these hollow hearts to feel again. And now I really think you're heaven-sent, but there's a beauty in being broken; I've been seein' it.

l. Waiting Room | Phoebe Bridgers

Know it's for the better.

li. Only Love Can Hurt Like This | Paloma Faith

Burning hot through my veins, love is torture; makes me more sure only love can hurt like this.

lii. Still Falling For You | Ellie Goulding

And just like that, all I breathe, all I feel, you are all for me, I'm in.

liii. Daylight | Taylor Swift

I once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden.

liv. Margaret | Lana Del Rey; Bleachers

'Cause when you know, you know.

lv. Lost Without You | Freya Ridings

You were the only safe haven that I've known; hits me at full speed, feel like I can't breathe and nobody knows this pain inside me.

lvi. I Fell In Love With The Devil | Avril Lavigne

Got me playin' with fire, baby, hand me the lighter. Tastes just like danger, chaotic anger.

lvii. Million Reasons | Lady Gaga

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but baby, I just need one good one to stay.

lviii. But Daddy I Love Him | Taylor Swift

No, I'm not coming to my senses; I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want.

lix. Ultraviolet | Freya Ridings

No, I can't hide it, and you're reading all of me.

lx. Sunday | Dermot Kennedy

You're one of few, boy, who can safely say they had somebody truly love them back.

lxi. golden hour | JVKE; Ruel

You know nothing compares to the shattering feeling I get, oh, when you're not right there.

lxii. Daylight | David Kushner

You and I drink the poison from the same vine. Oh, I love it, and I hate it at the same time.

lxiii. Half Hearted | We Three

The fighting is done, and nobody's won, so now I'm just laying here in pieces on the floor.

lxiv. Always Remember Us This Way | Lady Gaga

So when I'm all choked up, but I can't find the words every time we say goodbye, baby, it hurts.

lxv. Latch | Sam Smith

Now I've got you in my space; I won't let go of you. Got you shackled in my embrace, I'm latching on to you.

lxvi. Say Don't Go | Taylor Swift

'Cause you kiss me, and it stops time, and I'm yours, but you're not mine.

lxvii. Put A Little Love On Me | Niall Horan

When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancing, I look around as my heart is collapsing 'cause you're the only one I need.

lxviii. Ho Hey | The Lumineers

I belong with you; you belong with me; you're my sweetheart.

lxix. XO | John Mayer

Your heart is glowing, and I'm crashing into you.

lxx. Strange Love | Halsey

Everybody wants to know about how it felt to hear you scream; they know you walk like you're a God, they can't believe I made you weak.

lxxi. You Mean The World To Me | Freya Ridings

And it kills me that you might not know after all, 'cause I know I don't let you see, but you mean the world to me, and I know that I can be pretty mean, but you mean the world to me.

lxxii. Dark Paradise | Lana Del Rey

Love you forever can't be wrong; even though you're not here, you won't move on. That's how we played it.

lxxiii. Oceans | Seafret

I want you, and nothing comes close to the way I need you. I wish I could feel your skin and I want you from somewhere within.

lxxiv. The Archer | Taylor Swift

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put me together again 'cause all of my enemies started out friends; help me hold onto you. I've been the archer; I've been the prey. Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

lxxv. MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT | Loveless

In the middle of the night, just call my name; I'm yours to tame.

lxxvi. Train Wreck | James Arthur

You can say what you like 'cause see, I would die for you. I'm down on my knees, and I need you to be my God, be my help, be a savior who can unbreak the broken.

lxxvii. Walls | Louis Tomlinson

For every question, why, you were my because.

lxxviii. Infinity | Jaymes Young

'Cause you're the reason I believe in fate, you're my paradise, and I'll do anything to be your love or be your sacrifice.

lxxix. Salvation | Gabrielle Aplin

Just a trick of light to bring me back again, those wild eyes, a psychedelic silhouette. I never meant to fall for you, but I was buried underneath, and all that I could see was white.

lxxx. Sleep On The Floor | The Lumineers

Take all your savings out 'cause if we don't leave this town, we might never make it out. I was not born to drown, baby; come on.

lxxxi. Castle on the Hill | Ed Sheeran

I still remember these old country lanes when we did not know the answers.

lxxxii. The Other Side | Ruelle

I don't want to know what it's like to live without you; don't want to know the other side of a world without you.

lxxxiii. Angel With A Shotgun | The Cab

They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for. Well, baby, you are all that I adore; if love is what you need, a solider, I will be.

lxxxiv. Black Friday | Tom Odell

You look so pretty, pretty like the wind. Every time you touch me, I feel adrenaline.

lxxxv. Die With A Smile | Lady Gage, Bruno Mars

So I'ma love you every night, like it's the last night, like it's the last night. If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you.

lxxxvi. Northern Attitude | Noah Kahan

If I get too close and I'm not how you hoped, forgive my northern attitude. Oh, I was raised out in the cold. If the son doesn't rise until summertime, forgive my northern attitude. Oh, I was raised on little light.

lxxxvii. "Slut!" | Taylor Swift

Half awake, takin' your chance. It's a big mistake; I said, "It might blow up in your pretty face." I'm not saying, "Do it anyway," but you're going to.

lxxxviii. Backroads | Lonely The Brave

So the sinners stopped, and the villains turned, and I'll be the sky, and you be the bird.

lxxxix. Angel By The Wings | Sia

Oh, so, your wounds, they show. I know you have never felt so alone. But hold on, head up, be strong.

lxxxx. Too Deep | Ritual, Delilah

You said my signs were vital, that every touch was tidal. You held me, you held me so right, you held me so tight.

[number1villainstan]

Adolescence of Utena: First Time Watcher Reactions

Finding the movie and figuring out a way to get the file to play was an Educational Experience, to be sure, but I have it now! I've already watched through the series (reactions in this thread) so that should be helpful in understanding the movie. Real-time reactions below the cut:

how many times have i seen those bells now? things kept Not Working

the cock tower got ripped off at the base. lmao get rekt akio

wait is that utena and dios as shadows? with utena kneeling before kid-looking dios too

yo this intro music is fire

all the little stamp-sized pictures look like they're exploding/going up in flames. memories maybe? getting sacrificed? my first thought is nemuro hall from the series

wait wait this one picture. taller than the others, the biggest of them all even if it's not as wide. castle in the background. a small-looking boat, i can see the planks, getting tossed on huge waves in the stormy night. and right in the middle, the shadow of utena (i think) in the doorway--ready to jump out? god the boat seems like a noah's ark reference but idk if the creators would like. already know the noah's ark story? given cultural differences and all. and it's the only picture that moves (sliding backwards) AND the only picture that doesn't go up in flames. oh god. oh my god. is utena okay???

those blackboards are funky

WAKABA! she already knows utena's name but this is the first time they're meeting??

oh this is a dub. hm. well it's better than no movie at all lmao. and it doesn't seem like a bad dub either don't look a gift horse in the mouth after all

this entire school is on some escher shit. escher if he lived to make animations instead of still images

E-ko and F-ko, huh? no D-ko? (or is it linked to superstitions about 4 being unlucky in Japan cuz it can be pronounced like "death") that is assuming, of course, that the corresponding Shadow Girls from the series are A-ko, B-ko, and C-ko

lmao at that broadcast though

"it's the prince!" and the fighters are orange and blue. is juri the prince? miki?

nvm the dub is not actually that good

oh JURI'S the prince here! instead of wakaba! and she seems to be pretty close with miki--does that mean she has a better relationship with shiori here? (or at least a better relationship with her memories of shiori?)

oh damn touga showed up--black and gold uniform, a lot like utena's uniform in the show actually, but without the red on her uniform cuz his hair's already red--

damn there even looks like there's blood on the base of the cock tower where it got ripped off lmao

touga showing up as a ghost, with a dark red rose on his lapel--and the dark red roses piled up in the middle of that inaccessible(?) courtyard, like a grave

"our promise in the planetarium" akio's planetarium??? from the series??? i don't remember them ever meeting there, unless the dueling arena counts--

idk what they're supposed to be saying there. "we have yet to go" ???

that picture again--that's not utena in the doorway though

so touga's the one with the ring this time, instead of utena. "you must be engaged to someone" "this ring led me to this academy" calling back the "perhaps the ring was an engagement ring" part of the storybook intro and utena's "i came to this academy to find my prince" thing from the series

the rain stops and touga is gone. and that single white rose wasn't opened yet, was still just a bud until Utena came along, one white rose among a thousand red ones (and all the red rose petals falling), and that rose gives her the ring like dios did--standing out from the crowd of course, but is it utena or dios? or perhaps simply the ideal of a prince?

"what is that?" utena says about the floating duel arena, which is high up, unlike all of the other floating islands and parts of Ohtori

oh the stairs! unconnected to anything solid aside from their end points, like the spiral stairs in the series, but it's straight up unlike the spiral staircase, and there's no elevator that i see. like it's lost its central support

practically a carpet of red roses. so that's where the petals were falling from? that's gotta hurt to walk through though, so many thorns. plus like--flowers in general don't grow that densely? they're nutrient and energy intensive, just like fruit, cuz they're reproductive organs. Something Fishy Is Going On

anthy is holding a pink rose. pink for utena this time for sure

"i'm the headmaster's sister, so i get special treatment." idk if i can trust the dub's voice acting (doesn't sound like it) but she does not sound happy about that 'special treatment'

"I'm the only one captive to the roses" a) are you sure you're the only one? b) is captive to the roses referring to Rose Bride bullshit or just being trapped in Ohtori in general

damn saionji sounds super rough in the dub. which makes sense ofc it's saionji lol

and there's anthy's mask again. shows up around saionji, but she dropped it for utena

is saionji eating anthy's hair >.>

the sounds of machines that come as utena puts on the ring. of course. of course. the machinery of ohtori is starting up once again to claim another cog

oh wait huh. saionji's wearing the same outfit as touga, so it's not special to him after all

"this is your chance to take it off" it's like the "good luck" in the first duel in the series, but instead anthy's actively warning utena away from the duels--because utena is new, instead of a recurring student? because anthy remembers utena from before and feels guilty from trapping utena in the game? because anthy herself has gained a taste of independence and desperately wants to reclaim it? it's fascinating how anthy is acting as her own person, actively utilizing her agency in a very visible way despite being in the role of Rose Bride, as opposed to the series where she very much sticks to being passive at first (at least when the camera is on her)

the bells again, but they start the duel instead of mark its ending like in the series

aaaand there's the slap. specifically after anthy actively attempts to interfere with the duel, rather than saionji just slapping her for wishing good luck to utena. i honestly really like this new anthy

"my possession?" oh so it's said even more out loud here than in the series

saionji looks downright insane here

the series is transmasc utena the movie is transfem utena and they're both butches

"I'll never lose to anyone who hits a girl!" still that prince mindset. still that association of femininity with weakness and masculinity with abuse. in this specific case it holds true, but in the general--what about people who hit boys?

saionji looked normal for half a second there

anthy is actively taking charge of her own destiny here, kissing utena to give her the sword of (dios? anthy? just A Sword?)

and it's with the sword that utena finally wins (and gets hair extensions). in the series utena won even with a broken practice sword

oh my god they LITERALLY put saionji on the other side of a dividing line. goddamn

underwater moment? we sunk down to the new dorm? so utena isn't living with anthy this time around. it's just normal unpacking stuff

utena and touga were childhood friends...

okay so utena wants here there. which maybe anthy anticipated cuz she really just walked right in lmao

"i'm not gonna let you go home tonight" that was unexpectedly sinister

damn, anthy really just went "hey order me to fuck you utena :)"

shiori and touga are conspiring...don't like that

touga was under a white sheet. don't they usually put white sheets on the dead?

"the prince was killed" juri? touga? ruka? THE BOY FROM JURI'S STORY. which she said happened to her older sister--

"i'll make her be the prince for the rest of her life" ...damn, shiori, tf are you doing to juri

the shattered frame with the picture of utena

wait was that a show that just floated by? a lot of underwater motifs here with scene transitions

wakaba trying to swordfight lmao

utena don't leave the water on even if you're talking to your childhood friend

ah, swimmers. I see, oh it's in the pool. an empty pool. and anthy's flirting with touga. ah yes, the hypersexuality, i remember reading a meta about this

different frames in the pictures--pink roses, then candy, and baby anthy's wearing utena's yellow dress from the storybook scene--and dios being exhausted, but they're in a castle, not a barn like in the series--and the guy talking on the phone to touga, that has to be akio/dios, cuz his story is being told in the painting

oh, witch, not wish--and dios was the the lord of the flies first, akio (evil) first rather than starting as dios (good) (for all that evil and good don't really mean anything in this world)

kozue and miki are. really different in this cycle. i think kozue's hair color is different, and so is miki's hair? miki looks older, more wild, much less like the "girl-shaped boy" from the show. and the dialogue suggests that he's let go of his need for the Sunlit Garden, like how he was introduced fencing with Juri rather than playing piano

also i forgot to say this way earlier but like man, anthy and utena both look way different. i think it's their face shapes being different. rounder cheeks and points for chins. maybe it's cuz they both left last time?

"i was sold to [my father] when i was young" OH YES THE PROMISED TOUGA BACKSTORY I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS

"the customer" too, like jesus fuck touga are you saying you were prostituted around to pedos??? the touga-anthy parallels are painful

and shiori calling juri disgusting :/ for what, having a gay crush? being a lesbian? liking shiori? the pendant? just a rumor?

the bugs on the cabbage. shiori being a bug? and growing wings from the white cloth (death cloth?) of the room--oh no, moths. white moths. with black spots. (the defilement of purity? the ugly evil on a canvas of nothing?) landing on touga. somehow i feel like even if they had sex that touga wasn't properly into it. that it was just a bargaining chip.

juri and miki's outfits are red and blue, not black like touga and saionji's--

the mirage of dios--and just half an hour in we get the Revolution foreshadowing

the name kozue behind miki as juri's asking about his motivations. and the (blue? purple?) bath duck and water splashes in the red light. this feels like machinery.

"my wish is always to obtain more power" miki doesn't just have ruka's hair, he's acting like ruka. i don't like this

"that's so male" and yet again the gender roles

miki says he wants to simply gain more power. juri says she wants to gain power to free herself from Everything. and then--"unromantic things" are they dating?? is this just something weird about the dub or was it intentional on Be-Papas' part???

they are not, in fact, alone

oh fuck

(and shiori's flirting with juri--shiori's manipulating both touga AND juri. but miki seems to see right through it)

"those things" you mean sex? like cmon utena sex isn't something shameful

"touga started to act strange because of you" and then we cut to the moths over the lamp. oh no. it was shiori made touga "act strange"

"i thought he would only be beside only me" possessive much?

stars--"there is no prince"--callbacks to the show again

she cut the water line! not utena's neck thank god

utena mentions the stars so anthy gives her the stars oh my god

the long haired utena with the red trim that short-hair utena doesn't have, and anthy's reflection has the rose bride dress--which is white instead of red like the series--is the long-haired utena supposed to represent her "true self?" transfem utena fr

wakaba also looks a bit different, so maybe it's just all the girls ("girls") who look different, cuz the boys don't look very different

"capture your partner's essence" what? oh this is art class

anthy always above utena during the walking scene

"i want to be your friend": the "i don't like this engaged business" part in the series came early, during the student council arc--the "if you have any problems come to me, okay" part came much later, during the akio arc. the movie be speedrunning their relationship. but anthy's not cooperating, cuz she interrupted utena to ask to switch

"let's keep no secrets" used to get utena naked. damn. a bit of anthy's manipulativeness coming in

THAT PAINTING AGAIN

is that the sound of a car? and the paintings from the intro--

no that's an airplane taking off

oh god, there's a hole in her chest. the swords of hate?

the shadow girl broadcast! and a 'scandalascious tape'

the nanami cow! and chu-chu, and the triplets as elephants too lmao

i'm surprised they didn't use actual cow sounds. it's just a dub of someone saying "moo" over and over again :/

chu-chu got ate?

wrong tape lmao

Akio! "I lost the key to my car. Oh well!" lmao. and is that girl with him, is that nanami? looks like her. but it's probably meant to be kanae instead. and all the obvious performativeness, even as E-ko and F-ko call him a "textbook example of a prince", yeah that fits him

oh, did he just use the police as an escort? i thought he was getting arrested for half a second (sadly no)

the skip with the "starts, starts, starts...starts here!" huh.

and now the record is skipping--and then the tape skipping--

and now juri and utena are dueling. utena of course pulls a sword from anthy, and shiori gives juri a sword--i'm reminded of the akio and apocalypse arc duels, but the motivation is similar to juri's stuco arc duel

miki standing with touga... except he can't see him. i also think maybe ruka got folded into miki's character

"eternity, miracles, everything that glows" eternity, the power of miracles, and the shining thing. of course.

oh so utena actually properly wins against juri in the movie, by calling on the power of dios subconsciously. naturally.

and then the revelation that Akio is dead? and kanae crying over here. anthy doesn't seem to like her very much this cycle either

oh my god, anthy killed akio? or at least buried his body--no wonder she's so much more active this time around mwahahaha

oh now akio's car key is much more important

oh. no. akio killed anthy. damn. in a drunken stupor it seems. cuz he was taking advantage of her when he thought she was asleep? yay, more sexual trauma /sarcasm

chair with a sign on it, turn for the elevator--black rose arc callback?

OH SHIT IT REALLY IS THE BLACK ROSE ARC! evil elevator time??? but different cuz no mikage i bet

ahhhh this makes shiori's "i'll make her be the prince forever" make so much more sense

the boat from the picture!

dividing line between touga and utena

"the end of the world" name drop!

ah, touga was the one who drowned. their relationship is way different this cycle

the lighting used to be yellow in the elevator, now it's pink instead. and huh, the elevator wasn't evil this time around

"you really were my prince" Your Honor I Would Like To Object

and now utena's the prince--as long as she stays in this world. is this anthy's world then? but utena still wants to go to the outside world

ZETTAI UNMEI MOKUSHIROKU!

utena's getting turned into a car let's gooooooooo

these scenes are where all the implied machinery comes to light fr isn't it

utena nearly went to rust before anthy took up her offer

the road from the show! is it staying stop i can't read japanese

the shadow girls now all have pink hair lol

oh my god it's shiori! that's not black, that's purple though, and the insides are pink with frilly lace on the edges, hm

"the only one who deserves to escape is me" and then she takes herself out

oh no, more cars. actually black this time, sounding like bots--creepy bots? compared to bugs--and a swarm--but the radio girls implied that they've seen them before--

is that shiori again? nope

she got help! from the student council of all people! but how did they know what they were trying to do, and what made them decide to help them--this movie requires so much prior knowledge of the series to make any sense. like when did they become friends this cycle even? when utena defeated saionji and miki??

"high goals attract good people" okay but do they? we only have the one instance, and we have a counterexample in touga and shiori don't we?

"i will be there to seduce you" saionji you're like the worst seducer on the planet lmaoooooo

i don't think the magical looking castle is the landmark for the exit somehow

i was right

rondo revolution! and car makeover!

anthy's got some serious dodging skills to get through those tires

oh no, not the treads--and there's dios/akio.

damn does utena feel pain as a car? cuz she must be hurting right now

"a living corpse" huh? a closed world where death and life are conflated--

ohhhhh being a living corpse is how you be a princess....does that mean dios was a princess? lmao

end of the world and "grant me the power to revolutionize the world" name drops

oh my god all the radio girls are literal strawmen. strawwomen? strawpeople? no wonder their faces/skin were blacked out

oh, those are the ruins of the black cars--and the castle too, probably

"a world without roads" huh?

wakaba is still trapped in ohtori :( with what looks like onion prince dude lol

"the world will get bigger by that much" ah, so that's what "end of the world" means here--it's not a literal world, it's their experience that's the world. living at the edge of their experience

and that's the end of the movie! Overall Impressions: I'm...honestly not impressed by it. I do like the touga backstory, cuz we didn't get that in the series, but it felt like it took on too much and ended up cutting vital things cuz nothing fit. Maybe my experience was colored by the lackluster dub voice acting, but it seriously felt like the characterization was lacking, and not just because of the dub--there were important scenes missing that give context to character changes. Most specifically I'm thinking of the heel-face turn of the Student Council. Why did they do that? Why did they help them? Utena and Anthy's desires to go to the outside world also aren't properly explored. That's probably the biggest flaw with this movie, is the way important character arcs aren't fluid--they have big jumps that don't feel right, that only make sense if you have the show's context, and even then don't make sense within the world of the show. We leave a character at point A, and then when they reappear somehow they've jumped to point 27 and the viewer only has any idea how they got there if they've watched the show. That and whatever happened to Miki's character, and the fact that Wakaba only shows up as exposition (and I think the Student Council's car? that wasn't clear though). Absolutely criminal what they did to Wakaba. My girl deserves better than that.

I did like Touga's backstory, though. Makes a lot of sense for his character (even when that calls a lot of Nanami's character into question, like did she suffer the same fate??). And also Saionji's willingness to Throw Down with Utena immediately. If he were anywhere except Ohtori he'd be a delinquent with like 18 fights on his record lmao

[nitunio]

IDOLiSH7 Hunger Games Simulator

I used to play this thing all the time with other characters and fandoms. Now it's time for them to go through it!

Im using this website, you can press "Load Season" and paste the code XKs4qINi to load the main cast, then press "Edit Cast", scroll to the bottom, press "Submit" and you can proceed afterwards!! (the edit cast part is for it to refresh the whole thing, otherwise you will be playing my simulation ^__^"")

Now for the main attraction! I did one run of it and oh. . Experience under the cut! (VERY LONG POST)

Beginning!

Most people run away from the cornucopia, with the exception of them:

WHERE DO I BEGIN. Mitsuki's furious rage (contained in such a short body) made Tamaki give up. At least Sougo scored a mace for them (violently). Ryou loses also.

Minami fights Anesagi for a bag too, and Riku and Touma fight as well. Minami and Touma get their bags.

Weapons obtained: Nagi - sword, Torao - pair of sais, Okarin - handful of throwing knives (oh!), Momo - bow and arrows

Manager uses violence! Basket of bread obtained.

DAY 1

Not even the break of dawn, Momo already is set out for ZOOL. His archery skills are... admirable. Sorry Touma, your fight for the bag didn't save you

On this episode of Torao Needs A Therapist - WHAT. And on another note - Riku would probably be the worst person to go to with that request, I'm glad he went to him

Mitsuki also has a very... depressing thing going on, in spite of fighting so vigorously with Tamaki over a bag. And Yuki would never hurt his kouhai (with an, cough, exception).

Some of the other contestants sadly weren't lucky enough.

Nagi and Banri are killed gruesomely (an explosion and whatever torture Ryou did to Nagi). It's unclear if Gaku had an intention for murder, but we'll see later.. as for Ryou, he should find a better way to vent his anger after failing his fight for supplies.

In other news!

Sponsor items - Iori receives medical supplies, Okarin receives clean water

Takanashi Papa goes hunting.

Haruka picks flowers.

Minami and Yaotome Papa search for firewood. (separately)

Takanashi Papa goes hunting.

Anesagi discovers a river.

Deaths - Touma, Banri, Nagi

NIGHT 1

Starting the night off with something light - they're all decently equipped, and Momo is dealing with some stuff after killing Touma, but as always, not showing it. Mitsuki probably needed this mood lift too, since he didn't do too well before.

Tenn sees their fire but decides to stay hidden, trying to calculate his next move.

And continuing the trend of going to the worst people possible to be making this request to - we now know that what Gaku did was most likely an accident, and Banri just got caught up in it. Sorry, Gaku, you're gonna have to live with it.

In the distance, Takanashi Papa is trying to gather resources...

OLD MAN, DON'T CLIMB TREES, YOUR LIMBS MAY NOT BE SUITED FOR IT ANYMORE. Otoharu Takanashi joins Banri in heaven.

Other contestants find themselves alone...

Utsugi questions his sanity. Tsumugi questions her sanity too.

Anesagi cries herself to sleep.

Yaotome Papa attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

Ryou goes to sleep. (as one should after murdering a guy, you sick sick man)

But wait.. AN AMBUSH?!

Iori, Tamaki and Minami are no longer alive, because their attempt at ambushing was gravely unsuccessful. For all the planning Iori and Minami could do, there is no stopping Tamaki from acting rash..

And as a cherry on top, Torao finds new powers within himself after Riku's kind words this day and decides to-

Fatally injure Yamato! What an end to this night.

Maybe a nap would help...

Deaths - Takanashi Papa, Iori, Minami, Tamaki, Yamato

DAY 2

As the Sun's rays creep up on the grounds, people wake up and start their day with-

More bloodshed! Torao, I think you're getting WAY too into this, perhaps it might not be the best time to "give it your all"?

Other contestants seem to be doing better, possibly to balance out Torao's kill count.

As the remaining center of ZOOL, Haruka is doing his best to cover for the teammate in the "mercy" department. Thank you for sparing Sougo.

And Tenn is doing his usual thing.

In other, minor news:

Momo discovers a river.

Okarin diverts Tsumugi's attention and runs away. (Tsumugi CAN be scary, believe me)

Utsugi thinks about home.

Ryou fishes. Yuki constructs a shack. (treating it like a farming sim, I see)

Yaotome Papa travels to higher ground. (as he always does in his life)

Deaths - Ryuu, Mitsuki

Districts 2 and 9 are wiped out! Torao has the highest kill count (3) (I don't count Riku, Ryuu and Yuki in that because they were a team in killing the ambushers, and there's no way of telling who contributed the most)

NIGHT 2

Okarin and Sougo really love their campfire stories. And now that Tenn has calculated his moves from the past night, he can safely be in their company, now with his brother too.

Utsugi receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Momo thinks about home. Yuki looks at the night sky. (sighss)

Haruka passes out from exhaustion.

Yaotome Papa and Torao both see the campfire, but stay hidden for the night.

A peaceful night indeed.. Wait!

An unlikely (by threat or withholding resources) alliance of Anesagi and Ryou is going after Tsumugi and Gaku! The Manager-Idol duo survive through their sheer power (Tsumugi) and the urge to protect (Gaku).

Deaths - Anesagi, Ryou

DAY 3

Usual day, as usual it can be.

Haruka fishes.

Sougo tries to sleep through the entire day. (uncharacteristically so, perhaps from exerting himself too much)

Tsumugi runs away from Momo. (knowing his archery skills, it could have been a worse outcome. glad Momo's not out for blood)

Yuki attacks Gaku, but he manages to escape. (Gaku, what did you say to him?)

Yaotome Papa steals from Tenn while he isn't looking. (TRIGGER's property is his property too, right?)

But there's more!

Riku plays with some dangerous toys and finishes Torao's kill streak by exploding him, with Utsugi getting caught in the explosion too (That's the second manager who barely did anything and exploded. Stop exploding your local managers)

And maybe give your managers medicine next time too? Okarin received clean water earlier, but it clearly wasn't enough to stop the deathly infection.

Deaths - Torao, Utsugi, Okarin

District 8 and 11 got wiped out! 2 members of i7, 2 members of TRG, the entirety of Re:V and 1 member of ZOOL are alive. Tsumugi and Yaotome Papa are still alive too.

NIGHT 3

Surprisingly devoid of spilled blood, the night is spent peacefully

Haruka thinks about home.

Momo and Tenn run into each other and decide to truce for the night. (best interest in mind, and looking after a kouhai too! great!)

Yuki, Yaotome Papa, Riku, and Gaku sleep in shifts. (unexpected to see Gaku team up with his old man, but things happen! Riku and Yuki decide to continue their alliance from before)

Sougo receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. (so that no people can die from infection injuries ever again.)

Tsumugi questions her sanity. (i would too)

DAY 4

The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Yuki and Gaku get into a fight over raw meat, but Yuki gives up and runs away. (he needs it for his makeshift soba, Yuki!)

Haruka decides not to go to The Feast. And as we see, it was one of the better decisions.

Yaotome Papa decides to end all sorts of rumors and blow up Riku. Unfortunately, Tenn's "twin sixth sense" couldn't make him get there in time to lead Riku away, but at least they're together now. Two kills on Yaotome Papa (and, like son like father, both he and Gaku are responsible for most explosion deaths. brilliant. please don't continue!) (also fun that Riku was playing with explosives earlier and now died. because of them)

The Feast also brings us a fight!

Sougo has had a mace since the beginning, and now he decided to use it well! And well, he used it. Momo's bow/arrows and Tsumugi's raw strength just couldn't compare.

Deaths - Riku, Tenn, Tsumugi, Momo

DAY 4 (CONT.)

Yuki camouflauges himself in the bushes. (already looks the part)

Yaotome Papa constructs a shack. (what else to do after setting off an explosive)

Sougo tends to Haruka's wounds. (very cute moment after a double-murder, but now these medicals supplies are getting some use!)

Gaku practices his archery. (did you not hear what they did to another archer moments ago?)

NIGHT 4

Yaotome Papa and Yuki tell stories about themselves to each other.

Gaku receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor. (GREAT.)

Sougo tends to his wounds. (efficient and great! probably one of the better doing contestants)

Here's an example of a contestant who's not doing well.

He'll sleep it off, I'm sure.

DAY 5

Yaotome Papa starts the day off by making a wooden spear. Let's see how others are do-

BETRAYAL! After all the injuries have been healed, and Haruka's mind cleared off from screaming, he went straight for it! What a twist!!!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!

And Sougo might not be the only one with the bad luck today.

Gaku gets betrayed by the ice and his own body, and drowns in the lake. Sadly the received hatchet will never be used.

Let's see how Yuki's doing.

Oh. Alright.

And now it all comes down to these three.

NIGHT 5

Haruka and Yaotome Papa talk about the tributes still alive. (not a lot of them, and you make 67% of the population now. this is just Yuki gossip)

Yuki accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it. WHAT.

Deaths - Yuki

DAY 6

Yaotome Papa accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

Hey. I think the land mines might be faulty. What the fuck!

And the winner is - Isumi Haruka, the lucky man who did not want to arm the landmines! His journey was tough, but in the end it all came down to not touching explosives.

Congratulations!

[familyofpaladins]

(From a post talking about how I make an au everytime I watch another movie)

Oh you're spoiling me @sonderquill by indulging me in my au's. Also careful what you wish for lol

Okay heres a list of different Tmnt Au's that I've made in my head!! :D

Princess bride au

My own tmnt iteration au =Youngest leo (and oldest Mikey, but I tend to focus on leo)

Turtleverse - not so much an au as.... a big ol crossover and filling in some gaps from canon

Pacific rim au- I was actually gonna do a tmaynt promt with this au, but I skipped it because it was giving me trouble but I might come back to it

Treasure planet/island au - set in space like treasure planet but I pull in a bit more of the plot/events from the book

brother bear au - setting and details a little iffy

Looking through my notes to double check my Au's, I apparently also had a pokemon au, but I dont really remember where I was going with it lol

And now, Princess and the frog turtle au

Longer descriptions under the cut because uh. It got long lol (most of these are personality and character based from 2003 series, but could also be from other series/general/non specific iteration as well)

Princess bride au and Youngest Leo Au have links to their own posts so I'm not gonna say much more about them on this post

Turtleverse- So this is .... mostly just a place for all the iterations to hang out and meet each other. Kinda like the place in Across the Spiderverse. Theres not much for plot, except. The turtle in charge of everything in the turtle verse is the Donatello who disappeared in Same as it Never Was (2003 series). In this au, that Don was experimenting with alternate dimensions and time travel and accidentally sent himself to another dimension. Because of where ever he was sent, it takes him a while to travel through dimensions and then spends years hopping from universe to universe trying to find home. But because of [science stuff that I'm going to blame on quantum physic even though that's probably not the right term] his body isnt tuned to his home dimension anymore, and so if he ever made it back he wouldnt be able to stay there. And/or by the time he makes it back the events of same as it never was have already happened. So instead, he "maps" out the other turtle universes and allows crossovers to happen and a big ole hang out. (Like I said before, theres not really a Plot, but if there was, itd would probably have somethign to do with Don being A Bit controlling of the different universes and them not messing with Canon Events (like Manuel in Spiderverse), because he knows 03 Don made it to his home dimension, and while 03 Don got his brothers tow work together and defeat shredder, Don's brothers died and SAINW Don holds that against 03 Don and dosnt want other turtles interfering with other universes. So the plot would be addressing... all that while probably also dealing with some other interdimensionalproblem)

Pacific Rim au- like I said, I hope to draw of this and explain it more there. But I'll go ahead and give a run down. This is a human au. The bros are 4 identical brothers that pilot the only four man jaeger. They can also pilot a normal two man jaeger in any combination. But one day when a kaiju that comes out of the rift is more powerful than they expect, it tears into their jaeger and Donnie gets ripped out. After they get their damaged jaeger back to shore and injuries taken care of. They search for Donnie but never find him and (logically) assume he died. What they dont know is that donnie miraculously made it to shore and got picked up by some locals. But Don got a head injury and doesnt remember who he is and no one else realizes that he's the jaeger pilot who was lost at sea. (The bros are fairly private and so their faces arent publicized, and after people from the jaeger program looked for donnie, they really figured he was gone ((okay actually there is debate between the brothers)) so they didnt keep up the search.) As for Donnie, he assumes he's just a person whose home was destroyed by the kaiju and that theres just no one left to look for him. A man that goes by the nickname Leatherhead, takes him in and as the years go by the work on building the wall to protect against kaiju attacks (Don does his own research on the kaiju on the side tho). Anyway. After Don is gone, they cant pilot the 4man jaeger anymore and work in teams of two. But because of disagreements about Don's fate (like how they argued in SAINW) they dont work quite as well together. So Raph and Casey are drift compatible . And Leo and Usagi are Drift compatible. Mikey probably Could drift with others (if I wanted to bring in Mondo gecko into the au theyd be drift compatible), but he's trying to make sure his bros stay together and works with them.

BUT. Mikey hurt his arm during a fight. (Maybe just broken, maybe loses it if I want to lean into the SAINW parallel) So he's benched for a while. With all the gossip of the 4 drift compatible brothers losing a member and getting new drift partners eventually photos of their faces get out there. Someone who works on the wall keeps up with jaeger pilot gossip and thinks, "hey that guy kinda looks like those pilots. Guess the jaeger program really is going to shit if one is retiring to work on the wall" and maybe jokes about it with others. Eventually a rumor starts that theres a retired jaeger pilot working there. Don, who is probably going by a different name but I havent decided what yet, doesnt pay much attention to rumors and if he Does here, absolutely doesn't think it's about him. He doesnt pay much attention to the jaegers and focuses more on the kaiju themselves. Anyway, Mikey ends up hearing the rumor (because he's bored when benched and so goes out and wanders and also is secretly working on rebuilding their 4man jaeger) and goes "well it's not me, and I know it's not Raph or Leo... ". So trying to keep his hope down in case it's not what he thinks, (because really, it's been 5 years. If it was donnie he would have come home. Right?) He goes to see who this look a like is. He goes to where the wall is being built and looks around for a while and is about to call it quits when he bumps into someone. Don does a double take at the person he bumped into because he was looking at his notes instead of where he was walking. Realizes he's probably in the way and apologizes and goes to walk around. Then Mikey, who was so stunned to suddenly run into his brother (who he knows is donnie. Even with the scar he can see peaking out underneath his hair on his temple) who has been Gone for Five Years. He stops Don and questions where he's been. Don is very confused doesnt know what to make of this person who looks such like him. Eventually they put it together that don has lost his memories and Mikey begs Don to come back with him. Don isn't really sure what to think, (could this really be his brother?), he doesn't know this guy and doesnt know if he believes the "yeah I'm your brother and you have 2 more identical brothers as well" and he has been gathering impressive data on the kaiju that he doesnt want to abandon. So mike goes, come see my brothers and you'll see and if nothing else, you can conduct proper research with other scientist there. So don says yes. (But really. After just a minute of talking with mikey, Don would have gone back with him because he could Feel a connection and he Has to figure out the truth of what happened to him). Anyway they go back, Don meets his other missing brothers, theres crying and hugs and apologies and awkwardness. They do a drift at some point and Thats what brings back all of Don's memories. Something something they end up saving the day. I havent thought much plot past the bros reuniting lol

(God that was long. sorry)

Treasure planet/island au- setting is in space like Treasureplanet, so the boys are turtles. But some plot/events and character roles taken from the book. Splinter and the bros help run an inn. Theyve all grown up hearing stories of the Pirate Krang and his hidden treasure. Someone comes to the inn with a map (I'm thinking baxter stockman. Possibly in this weird brain/tentacle form since this is space and I can use his weirder forms) and other pirates pancake the inn and burn it down with the bros barely escaping with the map. Casey is a friend of the family and they go to his house. Leatherhead is a doctor/scientist and was with the turtles at the time. Mikey and/or Don are messing with the map and are the ones to figure out how to open it. Once they realize they have Krang's Treasure Map, they set out to find it. Casey and leatherhead hire the crew. Leatherhead hires the well renown Captain April O'Neil with firstmate Traximus the triceraton. Casey hired the cook and his daughter who helped hire the rest of the crew. Oroku Saki is an utrom in an exo-suit "with a passion for cooking". His adopted daughter Karai is an excellent sailor. :) Anyway they set sail. April knows soemthign is up with the crew and doesnt trust them one bit. The turtles are slightly suspicious of Saki, but mikey likes cooking with him, Don is fascinated by his exo-suit, and Leo likes training with Karai, and is charmed by Saki's "Honor". Raph doesnt trust them at all, but has no proof for anything and his brothers seem okay with them so he keeps his temper down (as much as he can. He's raph tho lol) anyway. Leo (and mikey maybe?) eventually overhear Shredders real plans to create a mutant and take over the ship. The rest of the events are a little unplanned because it's a mix of book events and movie events and I didnt write down everything that I apparently originally thought of. But two of the brothers (originally wrote down Mikey and Raph but that might change) sneak off the ship to join the pirates pretending to think that they are still good loyal crew. They get away from the pirates and meet The Fugitoid, Professor Hunnicut, former navigator for the Pirate Captain Krang. Later 2 of the other turtle brothers (maybe leo and don?) Are trying to get the main ship back and have a epic fight with ... someone. Maybe hun or bishop and/or Karai. Idk. Like I said. Iffy plot points. Karai is the one who has a change of heart and helps the brothers. Also the pirates may not be after treasure so much as, say, a giant portal that can take them across the galaxy in the blink of an eye. Fugitoid may or may not have actually been the one to booby trap the planet so no one could use the technology again for evil.

Brother bear au- setting would probably change. but idk to what/where exactly. The brothers, when reach a certain age are given totems/amulets/soemthing(depends on setting) with a certain trait. Leo the oldest gets Guidance. Don second oldest gets Wisdom. And raph is supposed to get his. he gets Love. Gets mad about the animal he gets. (I havent fully decided if I'm sticking with the whole turning into a Bear thing and giving the eagle and wolf to leo and don. Or to turn raph into a turtle demon(like the ones from the ninja tribunal arc) because then I'm not sure what animal/creature to give to the rest of the brothers. Anyway). Mikey is the youngest and hasnt recieved his yet. things happen, Raph goes a bear/turtle monster and Leo does saving his brothers (I'm sorry leo 😭). Raph decides to go after the "monster" again, despite Don and mikey telling him not to. Raph goes out, kills it, and gets turned into said creature. Donnie who had followed after Rpah thinks his other brother has now died as well and decides he need to go after it as well. Mikey may or may not join him (I havent decided). Raph meets a young one along the way, and while I was originally thinking Tyler(? From lone raph and cub 2003) I think this would be a good spot for Spike/Slash. (I could also change it that mikey is the kid he picks up along the way, it could work. but I also like the idea of the 4 of them actually being brothers the whole time) anyway. travel shenanigans and raph realizing that the "monsters" arent monsters meanwhile Don is having A Time following the creature who killed two of his brothers.

Pokemon au- I'm just gonna screenshot what I have in my notes because I dont really remember where I was going with it lol

And then the newest addition to the Au's and what prompted that other post

Princess and the frog, I mean turtle- theres so many different ways I could go with this. But I think I'm leaning towards an au where, somehow, at least one of the brothers (who are mutant turtles) gets cursed into a normal turtle (because I think its funny). They're all trying to figure out how to break the spell/curse. They find April and think she is a princess whose kiss will break the spell, but she's not a real princess and ends up cursed too. So then they're ALL trying to figure out how to fix it. Havent decided if it's the situation from some of the original stories where the frog has to eat off the princess's plate three times, or kissed by a princess or "true loves kiss". But if it is the true loves kiss, I'm going the Platonic Love is just as true love as romantic love route.

This one hasnt been cooking in my mind as long so it's not as detailed, but I do like the idea of the turtles and april helping each other try to reverse the curse. (It could also be that casey and/or april got cursed originally and the turtles are there to help them find a solution. Or it could be that the brothers are supposed to be human and got turned into turtles/or turtle mutant)

So yeah, theres the different Tmnt Au's I have :)

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

this is my personal acct with my personal opinions follow my art-only acct if you're only here for art

🥩 ghooost - they/he/she - haitian

warnings: body horror, gore, suggestive art, talking a lot (a LOT)

do not follow or interact if you are a proshipper, loli/shotacon, terf ect.

don’t follow me if you are still a pr*jmoon fan who supports the company (i may block)

i can n will block for any reason.

anti-haitian "jokes" are not tolerated.

🥪 strawpage: https://ghooosthand.straw.page/

🥪 carrd w socmed links + commission info + itchio link: <here>

🥪 patreon: <here>

🥪 art-only tumblr!: @gooey-goo

🥪 oc tumblr!: @ghooostzone

🥪  carrd art gallery!: <here>

NOTE: 

1. if i mass delete art for a specific fandom post-2020 you’ll still find it on my itchio (or on youtube if it’s a video), if not you can potentially ask me to put it there. don’t reupload without asking me!!!

2. please try not to spam me too heavily! i used to block ppl over it srry.... (bc there were multiple cases of ppl literally going through 200 posts at once n it made me irritated/paranoid). i try to be chill abt it now but for certain fandoms its a chance for a hardblock (namely pm)

List of (unique) tags:

🥩 oc group tags:

oc, sweven, alien food, mikko in hell

🥩 art tags:

my art, art process, ghooost wip, ghooost art explanation, ghooost art vault

🥩 oji search = stuff i find that’s specifically old or middle-aged men (40+ but sometimes 30 yr olds end up in there u kno how it be...) (50+ is best btw)

🥩 pk gayming = general gaming tag; yume time = yume nikki fangames

🥩 book eating event = reading tag (doubles as gaming tag for some visual novels or games that i’m only watching playthroughs of)

🥩 personal finds = art scans, books, merch etc i obtained

🥩 [character / media name] posting = basically me posting a bunch of the same thing/character over n over. sometimes doesn’t have the word “posting” in it

^ current list of these tags:

- gegege posting

- samurai calibur

- jiro posting

- ginko posting (not used at all anymore but i still like him ^_^ so i still rb the old posts)

^ there are other tags of this nature for other games or media, if they’re not on this post anymore it means i just moved on from them or haven’t used them in a long time

[themadauthorshatter]

VERY suggestive Jally thought. Imagine both characters are of legal age of consent because, honestly, that's more comfortable to write

Somr background: Johnny is freshly booted from his home because, "You're 18 now. Get off our hands," so Dally takes him in and takes him home. It's a little awkward. Dally's neater than Johnny originally thought, and, once they get talking, Johnny doesn't have a plan. Find a job, find a place of his own, and live his life, but that's it

Here's where the suggestive stuff comes in:

Dally offers for Johnny to stay with him. It can be the two of them being each other's family. Family doesn't have to be brothers like the Curtis's. It can be them together looking out for each other

As he says this, Dally carefully places a hand on Johnny's shoulder, then moves it to carefully hold the sode of his face. He's being more vulnerable with him than he has before with anyone else, and being more careful than he ever has because of how Johnny flinches at being touched without being hurt

There's more talking, more back and forth, not arguing, just the two thinking out loud about a future together, given both their records. They're both moving closer together until their bodies are touching. Dally is touching more too, letting his hands move from Johnny's face to his arms, then his ribs, waist, hips, and legs

Johnny, on the other hand, just has his arms around Dally's neck because he doesn't know what to do

That's fine. Dally takes over and helps Johnny lay on his back. He also pushes Johnny's hair out of his face because his hair's long enough that he can barely see his eyes sometimes. Even with the scar on his face, Johnny is still a sight, resilient, yet precious like a gem and Dally is lucky enough to have him and be near him

Dally's also a sight. Johnny is so used tonseeing Dally in a dangerous mood or being himself with the gang, but here? Just the two of them? He's never seen Dally look the way he does: Nervous, eager, careful, even desperate, for what, it's not clear

The talk of living together comes to a halt as the two see, touch, and feel more of each other. Dally is so, so careful with Johnny, seeing how he's been hurt and damaged and doesn't want to cause him more pain; Johnny is the only thing he really loves, and he wants to show Johnny just how loved he is, how much he means to Dally, how much Dally sees Johnny and sees the world looking back at him. He's had plenty of experience with plenty of girls, but this time he's with someone he knows won't leave him- or at least hopes won't out of fear

For Johnny, Dally has never been so sincere, never been so tender, and it doesn't feel real. It feels like it could be a dream or a really cruel joke, and he doesn't know which is worse. As much as he believes it to be otherwise, Dally proves what's happening is real, and he practically begs Johnny to stay with him

And who is Johnny to say no?

It's a long night, one the two wake up late in the morning from. They had enough sense, at least, to sleep in Dally's bed, but their clothes are everywhere

Johnny is up first, but can't move because he's got Dally holding onto his waist, so he goes back to sleep. When Dally wakes up, he's happy to carry Johnny around, despite Johnny's insisting he can walk. He's also happy to make sure no one gets to Johnny again or hurts him, not if Dally has anything to say about it

Idk, that's the thought, they live together now, don't yell at me, please😅🙏

[lumberwoof]

the final duel between Guel and Suletta and why I really love it actually

it's a final test of Suletta's resolve - it's "you understand what the game is now, are you still willing to throw yourself back into it?" and "this is your last chance to free yourself of all of this, you can turn back now"

it represents a true crossing of the Rubicon - Suletta isn't an oblivious player in someone else's game anymore, she's fully aware of what's happening in the world around her, and she's choosing to participate

it's also Guel selfishly still trying to shield Suletta

I think it's important to remember that Guel and Miorine both consider Suletta as their precious person. it's why they came up with the plan they did, why they entered their sham of an engagement to protect Suletta. so Guel is making a last ditch attempt to protect Suletta (by forcing her to give up on Miorine if she loses the duel, the way they forced her to give up Aerial), but Suletta is single-mindedly determined and defeats him easily

(Guel is someone who always rushes forward, who was inspired by Suletta's "move forward, gain two" adage, and in this duel, just like the others, he surges forward and his haste to move forward, to press, is what causes him to lose (but he doesn't run away, he moves forward even if he gains nothing, which is the true lesson here))

"What a fool I am" he says, for thinking that he could stop Suletta, for that tiny bit of pride that still seeped through and told him that, in a fair fight, he might actually stand a chance (the double meaning of standing a chance, too, not just as a victor of the duel, but in romance as well)

and the symbolism of Suletta at Miorine's door in her Holder uniform. it doesn't matter anymore, Miorine's birthday has already come to pass, the game is technically over, but that's the point, isn't it? the game is over and Suletta still chooses to be Miorine's groom.

without words Suletta says, pick me, choose me, rely on me, I want to be here. I didn't understand and you knew that and you pushed me away to save me, but I understand now and I'm choosing to be here, I'm choosing to be at your side, like I promised to be

I'm here, all you have to do is let me in

(and god, they're already married tbh)

it's also proof of Suletta's new resolve, to move forward even if she gains nothing, she's going to do this thing - to pilot Calibarn and speak with Ericht and her mother - where she might not gain anything from doing it might lose everything doing it. it's the same for her in that moment at Miorine's door. she's talking to Miorine because she wants to, because she has to, to move forward, even if it doesn't actually get her Miorine (the game is over, remember, being the Holder doesn't have to mean anything to Miorine) but Miorine responds, lets her in, because she wants Suletta to be there

(the game is over, and Suletta still chooses to be Miorine's groom. the game is over, and Miorine still chooses to be her bride)

-

post script: I still think about Suletta getting ready to pilot Calibarn, and Guel trying to protest because Gundams kill their pilots, but Miorine just ice cold stares him down because Suletta is making her own decisions now and we will not fuck that up, Guel! even if those decisions are absolutely fucking terrifying to Miorine, she will support them because it's Suletta who's making them

and god, that bit where Miorine is so matter-of-fact running the callback test with Suletta and Calibarn to make sure she can reach a high enough score to break through Quiet Zero's data storm and doesn't appear affected at all, but the second Suletta makes it to Score 5, Miorine just crumbles in tears and prayer

(how much of Miorine was silently hoping that Suletta wouldn't be able to make it to Score 5 so someone else could take on the burden for once, but this is what it means to be the hero's lover in fiction, they will always be the one, there is never anyone else)

[blueeyesking]

Duel for the World! Yugi & Kaiba vs. Dartz! Part 1

Seto and Yugi had the good fortune to draw extremely powerful opening hands, making their first turns give them a strong start: Seto already has one Blue-Eyes on his field, and the other two are already in his hand; Yugi was able to summon his equally powerful Black Luster Soldier. Facing down both mighty creatures, Dartz doesn't seem remotely intimidated. He draws, and plays his Seal, that ominous blue-green symbol encompassing their Duel and changing Dartz from a gracious host

to a sharp-eyed predator.

Dartz wears a wicked grin as he continues his turn, playing two monsters that seem useless and weak to Seto; Yugi warns him of one's ability to come back stronger every time it's destroyed, but Seto isn't concerned. Dartz doesn't play anything else; clearly, Seto thinks, this man doesn't know who he's dealing with.

Seto's next draw confirms this. He lets out a hearty laugh- Polymerization! Absolutely perfect.

Seto had intended to use all three of his dragons to create Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon... but looking at Dartz's field, why should he summon a Fusion Monster with no abilities, when, objectively, Blue-Eyes Twin Burst dragon has fantastic abilities that will allow him to clear the board, leaving Dartz completely defenseless against Yugi's Black Luster Soldier? Even if Dragon Master Knight is powerful enough to finish this Duel immediately, Seto doesn't know Dartz's deck- he could have any number of counters to their powerful monster, or one of these monsters could have a trick to it that he doesn't know. After all, Seto doesn't have every Duel Monsters card memorized. Kris had suggested well; Twin-Burst would come in handy.

Kaiba reveals his Polymerization and the two Blue-Eyes in his hand, discarding all three in order to summon his great Twin Burst. Its heads rise and roar at the temple's interior, briefly joined by the solo Blue-Eyes next to them, who, to Seto's intuition, seems a little disappointed not to be included. But she's grateful to be here and fighting beside her sisters, which is more than enough for them.

With Twin-Burst on the field, Seto orders her to attack both of Dartz's Orichalcos monsters- but suddenly, the Seal flares with light and closes Yugi and Seto off from their supporting friends, casting a beam of cyan light high into the clouds.

Seto and Yugi recoil, shielding their eyes from the light- and when it fades, they find themselves on the Seal, high above the clouds. It's not long until Dartz appears with them.

Seto rushes forward to grab the man's collar, lifting his feet off of the ground with one arm. "What sort of party trick are you pulling now, bastard?! I won't be fooled by any more illusions!"

Dartz smiles at him, patting his forearm with all of the condescension one might show a small child throwing a tantrum. "Don't worry, Seto; the Seal is reacting to your powerful attack. It's showing us a memory held within the Orichalcos."

Seto scoffs and tosses Dartz to the floor. "We don't care about your dark memories, Dartz- we're here to end you."

Dartz shrugs. "I have no control over what the Orichalcos does in this capacity."

The clouds beneath the Seal reveal a grand city, alight with electric lighting and seated upon an island. Dartz stands, brushing off his robes, while the two Duelists gaze down at the sight.

What follows is a ten-minute exposition dump about Dartz's past, as the ruler of Atlantis. How the Orichalcos came from their volcano, along with the serpent of darkness that blotted out the sun. They used the stones to bring their society into a grand age of prosperity.

However, the stones also slowly corrupted people with darkness in their hearts. Eventually, it tested their wills- and turned those with great darkness inside, into monsters. When Dartz was given a piece of the Orichalcos, he was also told his purpose: to start the world anew, and create one without darkness.

He has Orichalcos Soldiers descend upon Atlantis and tells them to kill the unpure, taking their souls to revive their God! And in response, an aurora shines across the sky, bringing the Legendary Dragons out of their slumber to combat Dartz and the Orichalcos. The fight ended in a draw, with the Dragons sealed by Dartz's magic and Dartz leaving his ruined kingdom.

After his spiel and show, the Duelists are returned to themselves on the field, the light of the Seal fading back to normal. Blue-Eyes Twin Burst Dragon destroys Orichalcos Gigas, then Orichalcos Kyutora...

[luminae-system]

(Danny, as almost always, speaking)

Venty ramble-ish post of the day under the cut as promised in the update (ended up a long post, sorry)

If anyone wants a quick summary, there is a tldr bolded and green at the bottom! Would love some advice if anyone is nice enough to share their experiences and stuff.

Tw: General negative thinking, obsessive/repetitive thinking, ocd-like tendencies, lots of self-doubt, system doubt/self denial, brief neglect(? Descriptions, brief abuse mention (tell us if we missed something else)

I've been thinking of System Origins (xyz-genic) lately. Something about messy thoughts and obsessive patterns and stuff, our psychiatrist calls it "cow chewing" or something like that (since January, our memory has been shit, sorry).

So. I'm afraid to label us as traumagenic because like, as I mentioned in the notes of a reblog this week, we never went through traditional abuse, we had food and education and shelter and all that good stuff.

Maybe mom was down in the dumps herself, and dad was always away on a buissness trip, not to mention mom having to deal with three kids at the same time... so we never really got enough love and attention. We were loved ofc, and I am grateful for all mom did for us.

But like... her best wasn't enough in many ways, that's why we're in therapy since like 11 and always go off the deep end whenever we try to go long periods without a session (monthly sessions seems to be the stretch/limit). And well, we have more diagnoses than fingers in one hand already, wonderful! So funny! Amazing! /sarcasm

So, anyways, back to the topic. We never really lacked anything, were never abused, and the emotional neglect wasn't thaaat bad and totally not on propose. So... was it enough to form a traumagenic CDD system? Are we really disordered?

I do have emotional amnesia in the rare times we've managed to get someone else to be the main fronter, and we do have some ptsd symptoms but like... we do have a separate ptsd diagnosis bc of my ex-bf (another story/post, bad bad guy) and the childhood ptsd-like symptoms are nowhere in the same level as when we first got the diagnosis of the other ptsd.

And looking at posible diagnosis, Partial DID (pdid) is so so so close to what we experience! That's like, us! Main frontstuck host with other headmates acting as 'advisors' and less fronting and more passive influence and co-conciousness (even if we are monoconcious, it's a bit weird, don't wanna think too hard about it)

But like... I didn't start having "multiple people in my head" until like I was 14. Or atleast being conscious of it I guess. That's way past the age threshold for identity consolidation and thus traumagenic system formation...

So are we "disordered enough" to qualify as a disordered/CDD system? Would we make a mockery of "real" disordered systems to self-diagnose that?

I've been thinking of sharing with our current psychologist. The last one dismissed my concerns and said I was being a hypochondriac (god, it's always that excuse! Even with our physical health, which, yes, another post/story).

I'm scared of being wrong. What if I really am just talking to myself and making a sorta tulpamancy thing on accident? Ofc nothing wrong with that, but it would change our system dynamics a lot.

On the flipside, if we really are a traumagenic system... now what? I doubt there are any specialized psychologists for systems in our town... so yeah. Not sure what we would do after a hypothetical informal/formal diagnosis by our psychologist and/or psychiatrist.

Gosh. This is... a lot. And I tried to be brief. Sorry, and if anyone did read it all, thank you so much for caring about us! (Or being curious I guess lol). I'd love some advice

So, tldr: No abuse, only some emotional neglect on accident. Is it trauma enough for traumagenic? We disordered enough for a diagnosis? What if yes? What if not?

-----------------------

Bonus info for anyone(s) who want to give us advice (thank you!!!!)

System of 3

One front-stuck host and two "advisors"

Daena is a sorta reformed persecutor and sorta trauma holder?

Aelius is our protector (he is taking a long nap/trip somewhere in the brain, miss him)

Danny (me) and Daena are two sides of the same coin, share a lot of traits and stuff even if personality is different, basically like a median system.

Aelius is fully separate from us gals

Dissociation has been very common since we were a very young kid, especially derealization, though depersonalization did happen a lot too. Therapy has helped a lot in terms of grounding

Not much in terms of Amnesia I think? Like, maybe I'm not aware of something, but we do remember our childhood well enough to tell anecdotes and funny stories

We do have emotional amnesia tho, mostly with taking care of the body and household chores (remembering something but like, I did not do that. The memory spawned by itself???)

Uhhh ask for more details if needed!!!

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Miracle In The Night

Sometimes, you get an idea for a lightly fucked up short story. TW: Death, mild gore, Plot Twist :)

---

She travels through the night And listens

Some might call her home dark and cold and akin to the lowest levels of hell, But their heaven burns her eyes and skin and her very breath To her, The Endless Night is Paradise

The whole world was like this once, in the very beginning The Divine Darkness which contains the potential for every tragedy and miracle and everything in between, and she is blessed  to travel through the gardens of creation.

The Night created everything, even God, who lives in the burning world and blesses the sinless beings of the night with the very force of life.

But not even Paradise is free of suffering.

It should be this way, of course- nothing would ever happen otherwise. Everything that happens is a miracle. It’s just a question of who the Miracle is for.

There will be a Miracle tonight. She can feel it- the tension is electric across her skin, gut tightening, every sense on edge.

Starvation leads to such peculiar sensitivity.

She’s on the verge of death-  It should be this way, otherwise nothing could be alive. But she’s closer to the edge than usual.

It’s been so long since she felt the Burning Love of God within her. The delicious taste of good fortune in the night Chasing ecstasy with a racing heart and feeling her body fly The heat in her belly, seeping out through her until it filled her with the Divine Warmth of God’s Love.

It’s been so, so long since she’s eaten.

It’s been uneasy- the breathing of the world has been unsteady of late- too early and too late, out of time like it has become ill and all things suffer for it. There is nothing to partake of in her usual hunting grounds, so she has traveled far, far from home, into a brighter and hotter part of the night.

Here, the protective wall between her and the burning world exists only in scattered fragments, and strange and monstrous things traverse the thin veil between their worlds.

Here, the eternal night has been invaded by noxious, screaming beasts from the burning world above.  They race with their bodies straddling the barrier between their worlds, far faster than anything has the right to fly, howling with a deafening voice that can be heard for hundreds of miles.

It’s a problem because she cannot hear the songs of her prey.

Everything sings, if one will listen. The high, chiming pings of the smallest stars flashing with bioluminescence around her. The long, low songs of the fire-breathers, who hunt here in the abyss for one of her oldest brothers, but return to the barrier and briefly cross it to breathe before they return. Even the earth sings- the moan and crack of her body as she shifts her weight, the almost invisible inhale and exhale of her seasons. She even builds great musical instruments of ash and smoke and an even hotter burning than the world above, singing the tale of the first days of creation in honor of the endless night.

But the behemoths do not sing.

They scream and scream and scream and their piss reeks of vile poison and overexertion. Almost like the way an injured animal can put on a miraculous turn of speed to escape pursuit. What might be pursuing such behemoths is an awful but intriguing consideration. Perhaps the behemoths are the little darting beings of the burning world, and the thing they flee the equivalent of herself. She’s seen it before, when the moon is high and she travels up to the barrier, and the little dancing bodies leap across the barrier to avoid her.

To that end, she can only wish her counterpart good hunting- both in the sympathy between one apex predator and another, and the hope that maybe it will get better at catching the behemoths before they come into her world.

Still, Where there is disturbance, There is also opportunity.

There are rumors from those that live closer to the barrier that the behemoths piss poison but shit out bounties- the wastes of these things are food direct from the burning world, where God lives, and that waste is full of The Divine Warmth of Life. The direct waste is devoured by the smallest and fastest things first, but when they are clustered at their feast, they are easier for the larger beings to partake in, and so too larger things than they until even her most beautiful borderland sister with the belly pale as the moon is now as round as it, fat with the blessing of pups.

So she has ventured as close as she dares to the world of her sisters in hopes of finding the rumored prey so full of the Burning Love of God.

She needs it. She can’t live without it.

A Miracle will happen tonight.

Whether for her or the crawling lives of the deepest night remains to be seen.

She follows the terrible screaming song of the behemoth in silence and prays for a miracle. She does not sing praise when she prays. She preys when she prays.

The highest reverence to The Divine Night is to Listen. To travel in silence, and take in all the songs of The Night.

So she makes herself silent and listens and listens and listens to the screaming song, hoping that somewhere in the noise, she can hear the soft voice of God.

This time God answers with a voice like thunder.

It really is like being too close to a lightning strike, the way the noise viscerally passes through her and lights up every nerve, teeth gritting and body thrashing as she feels the voice of God the same way she feels the body of a lover against her own.

The scream of the behemoth changes. It sputters, then pitches wildly, low visceral injury and high keening pain, like the fire-breathers when they try to hunt the largest of her brothers and become prey themselves.

Oh, what a beautiful song to something like her.

She aches, weak and tired, but hope and joy surge through her and she forces herself to move at speed, even for all the energy it takes, because perhaps the miracle is for her tonight- 

She flies as fast as she can towards the dying behemoth, as does every brother and sister and ancestor and descendant, all as desperate to feast upon God’s Love as she- all of them race forward but then up, and up and up up to where the Behemoth is sinking into their world- It has run upon a fragment of the protective barrier hard enough to tear it's side and break it's back. There is the terrible acrid scent of it’s noxious  piss and if she were not on the verge of starvation it might be enough to put her off the feast.  

But she flies on and up- even weak with hunger she is one of the largest and fastest of her family when she needs to be, so she is the first to smell other strange things from the behemoth- burning flavors that sting her nose and mouth, as well as sweet things that confuse intrigue, and-

Oh. Oh, GOD!

It’s blood but nothing like any blood she’s tasted before- it’s actually HOT in the night, burning with the warmth of the other world even this far from it’s origin, rich and fatty and metallic like the flesh of a fallen fire-breather but even more so.  She spreads her wings and sways her hips and spine to fly as fast as she can, the way a lover pursues her- full of nothing but adoration and a desire to make their bodies as one.

Then in a beam of moonlight, she sees the first of the bodies from the burning world.

The frenzy at the behemoth is a feast for the ages, from the exultant chorus above, and the fact that even with every member of her family for a hundred miles around at the feast, there are so many bodies to feast upon that a body is falling past the festivities to her, uneaten and whole.

What a strange and beautiful body it is.

She pauses, circling it even as her mouth and gut ache for it, studying the being from the burning world.

It’s hot, hotter than any body she’s ever felt before, even though it is very definitely dead, as unsuited to breathe the night as she is to breathe fire. Its wings are long and twist strangely, like the tentacles of her brothers that are hunted by the fire-breathers. It’s awkwardly shaped, like the crawling five-winged creatures of the mud, but not quite.  There is an almost unsettling familiarity to its symmetry.

The fire-breathers say they used to live in the burning world, but returned to the night, and that all the beasts of the burning world had too once come from the night. It had sounded absurd, but looking upon the form of this being now, she wondered.

Well. Only the one thing to do, really.

Gently, she approaches the being, opens her mouth to embrace it, and welcomes it home to the night.

There is no love like the love the predator feels for its prey.  It is reverence made flesh- O holy being, oh virtue to pursue and make one’s own.It is the flesh made reverent- Please, little being of the burning world, let her love you as she loves her own children, the weight of your body deep within her own. 

There is no gratitude like the gratitude a predator feels for its prey. She owes you her life tonight, little being of the burning world. She lives from the mercy of your body alone. It is already a kindness she can never repay to live by your generosity, but oh, you made it so sweet-  Your blood intoxicates her senses, your body thrillingly warm- as agonizing as the fire of the burning world is to breathe in, it’s just as wonderful to swallow.

You are so sweet, so sweet, she will remember this favor forever.

There is no miracle like the divine connection between predator and prey. Oh child of the burning world, you who brings the Warmth of God into The Endless Night, You burning being of God’s Love. She is blessed by you, messenger of God.  Through you she receives the miracle of life.

Welcome, little burning being Welcome home to the night from whence you came Welcome inside her deepest self, and receive her hospitality.

She swallows the little burning being up with adoration, feeling it settle within her. Relief, ecstasy and satisfaction swirl but are interrupted by the appearance of another body. And another And another And another

The Behemoth itself falls, it’s body still curiously dynamic even torn in half- one end dives for the bottom of the night with somewhat alarming speed, where the other glides along to the depths on an angled path, the distant motion still visible with the bioluminescence it stirs up along it’s path. It is massive beyond anything she's seen before, more like a piece of geography than a living organism.

And all along its wake, hundreds of bodies spill forth from inside.

What a strange miracle this is. But she’s not one to refuse God’s Love. And if the beings of the burning world travel in huge schools with their behemoth, the peculiar notion that the little being within her might be lonely occurs to her. …Wow, she’s REALLY drunk.

Still, she eats three more of the burning beings before her guts are almost bursting with fullness, a bizarre sensation she’d only heard about from those who had been fortunate enough to feast on the fallen body of a fire-breather and had to leave the excess to the crawling beings of the bottom. So too, does she watch more bodies descend deep into the night as she returns to her world of darkness and song, the behemoth’s terrible screams now silent with rest, and the choir of the night rejoicing in this miracle.

---

Two miles above the revelry of God’s Favorite Greenland Shark, the survivors of the Titanic prayed into the endless night for a miracle, unaware it had already been granted.

[peppermint-cardboard]

alright alright alright i wanna talk about the new Alien movie. i’m gonna talk about the new Alien movie ok???????

this post is gonna be long. be warned lmao

this movie. oh my god dude. this fucking movie. fucking THANK YOU Fede Álvarez for making this fucking movie. oh my god. this movie was (in my opinion) at LEAST as good as the first two. it lives up to the tone and feel of Alien and captures the same grander scale of Aliens, all while bridging the gap between those two movies in a super satisfying way. it’s a direct sequel to the first movie in a really cool and interesting way that i really was not expecting, wrapping up one key story while opening another. the cast is incredible. everyone say thank you to Cailee Spaeny and David Jonsson right now. the writing was great. the music was amazing. the practical effects???? oh my god dude the practical effects. the practical effects were TOP NOTCH. HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN THE ANIMATRONIC XENOMORPH????

ok spoiler time!!!!!!!!!! spoilers under the cut!!!!

the movie opens with a fucking bang and honestly the prologue is one of my favorite parts. the weird fucking Echo Probe with the MU/TH/UR 9001 AI?????? the weird red eye?????????? the familiar computer sounds???????????????? BIG CHAP FUCKING COCOONED IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE???????????????????????? THE WRECKAGE OF THE NOSTROMO????????????????????????????????

and then the human scientists on the station in the creepy outfits cutting open the cocoon and its fucking Big Chap in there and then the smash cut to the title??? i fucking loved it.

after that it’s just immediately into another banger set piece, the super bleak Wey-Yu colony. reminded me a lot of Aliens and Blade Runner, but also felt new. the far-off star in the distance was super cool and very eerie. and then of course the real villain of the movie casually doubles Rain’s work hour quota without a second thought which is really just blood-boiling.

then were introduced to the Corbelan, which feels Nostromo-like, yes, but also very new and fresh. i love its weird thrusters and how it just shoots straight up into space and the shot of it taking off was fucking breathtaking. actually let’s talk about the cinematography here for a sec. the lighting is always so fucking cool and moody, not quite as harsh and stark as the first movie but close. it fits with the theme and tone of this one i think :3

anyway the fucking Renaissance station…….holy shit dude. the premise was fucking cool, and the look and feel was even cooler. i really like the main crew’s mission to get crypto pods, i felt like that was a cool way to set up the stakes and give them a reason not to immediately leave. the gravity generators were a really cool plot device and also a cool bit of worldbuilding. i loved seeing the generators from Alien Isolation and the "MU/TH/UR 9000" system too, that was neat. and then. oh boy. the fucking flooded cryo chamber with the cloned facehuggers??? the crazy red lighting?????? THE DOOR LOCKING AND SAYING "CONTACT SCIENCE OFFICER"?????????????

i liked the addition to how Synthetics work, with the driver and disk being kinda like SIM cards. i thought the idea of adding Rook’s clearance add-on thing to Andy was neat, and Andy’s eyes rolling back into his head to reveal Company logos was super creepy and also cool.

oh, and speaking of Rook… honestly, i loved him. the CGI to make him look like Ian Holm doesn’t really bother me, especially now that i know his widow and children were all on board with it. i loved what it did for the plot, and for those of us who’d seen the original movie it was an awesome tension-builder bc that guy? that guy Rook? that’s Ash, my friend. i liked how at first he seemed helpful but then his demeanor completely shifted when he saw that the Prometheus Fire compound was safe, like he suddenly reverted back to his original programming and mission. ALSO BIG CHAP’S SHREDDED CORPSE ON THE FLOOR ABOVE THEM?????? fucking GNARLY!!

i think seeing Navarro get facehugged was honestly the most horrifying time it happened in the series, it was so fast and visceral. Aileen Wu’s physical acting in that scene was fucking amazing, so intense. and the race against the clock for them to freeze the Facehugger’s tail and take it off her was something new and very cool. seeing her get chestbursted was, again, insanely visceral and horrifying, especially when she sees the thing trying to break out of her with the handheld x-ray thing

the scene where Rain, Andy, and Tyler snuck through the Facehugger-infested room was super cool and also fucking terrifying

despite my opinions on the other prequels i really liked how they handled The Black Goo from Prometheus and Covenant, and i liked that it seemed to be a soft-retcon too? the stuff coming from the Xenomorphs instead of being used to make them was very neat. i liked how Rook’s attitude toward the alien and The Black Goo paralleled Ash’s and it really worked as a logical next step from that.

Andy’s abrupt shift to being like,,,,superhumanly strong was very cool, and i loved seeing his new Company-serving mission conflicting with his love and loyalty to Rain throughout most of the movie

seeing an earlier model of the pulse rifles was pretty cool, and i really liked how they had to be more sparing in their use of them, adding tension before that final cathartic Zero-G scene near the end

i loved (hated) the cocoon on the wall. it was insanely fucked up and disgusting and Giger would’ve been proud and i loved it. Bjorn’s death by acid blood was terrifying. the chase scene with Kay had me actually hyperventilating and jacked up my cortisol levels. it was great (horrifying)! Andy making the call not to open the door for her was gut-wrenching.

ok i gotta speedrun the rest of this movie lmao

the lab with the 3D-printed facehuggers and the nest inside the lower levels of the station was both awesome and terrifying, and i really wasn’t expecting them to be able to save Kay. Tyler’s death was terrifying and very Brett-esque, and just the sheer number of Xenomorphs and Facehuggers on the station was enough to make me nauseous

Rook’s betrayal was completely expected but you could still feel the weight of it bc the characters didn’t know it was coming!!!!

the "get away from her, you bitch" line from Andy was kinda silly and sorta didn’t fit but i was still grinning when i heard it lol

Kay injecting herself with the Prometheus Fire at Rook’s recommendation was just,, the cherry on top of the sundae of Fucked Up Shit Foreshadowing, and oh boy. the outcome did NOT disappoint in that regard…

Rain killing all the Xenomorphs with the pulse rifle in zero gravity was awesome and her swimming through the clouds of acid blood was terrifying

the gravity coming back on was another unexpected "oh, fuck" moment, and the elevator shaft was horrifying

and of course, Rook’s death and the destruction of the space station was an insane, fitting, and visually STUNNING conclusion… UNTIL things start back up again for the Corbelan crew and poor Kay fucking GIVES BIRTH to an egg containing the very Engineer-like Offspring (most visceral and horrifying scene in the entire movie istg), which was fucking terrifying all by itself.

the ending was definitely reminiscent of the first movie with the "last survivor of the Corbelan" line but it didn’t feel too repetitive either.

all in all i think Alien: Romulus was fucking AMAZING. it’s been rattling around in my brain since i saw it and it has me growling screaming gnawing on the bars of my enclosure i fucking loved it. i loved it as a movie on its own and i loved it as a sequel to Alien. Fede Álvarez, the cast, and everyone else who worked on this movie did a fucking amazing job. i loved every part of it with the exception of like,, three lines that all lasted like 2 seconds tops. no big deal lol

i’ve heard they have ideas to make a Romulus sequel by tying in the other prequels and honestly i kind of hope they don’t do that? i love where this movie stands in the Alien universe right now, being self-contained but not without connections to the rest of the franchise. Álvarez has said he’s not gonna rush a sequel if one gets made so that’s definitely a good sign right off the bat.

THIS MOVIE WAS FUCKING AMAZING AAAAAAAAAA ok im done :) for now :)

[insanelyadd]

If the song fits it fits, regardless of possible embarrassment. Anyway, lets hear what songs you put together, and what your reasons are!

Oh ho ho, you just gave me a chance to talk about music, hee hee hoo hoo.

Okay so I'll start with the playlist I made for the Collector, as a heads up note about all of these playlists, I am far from done, so while they're all short right now, I will be getting around to adding more.

Through Glass by Stone Sour -

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass Don't know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head How do you feel? That is the question But I forget you don't expect an easy answer When something like a soul becomes initialized And folded up like paper dolls and little notes You can't expect a bit of hope So while you're outside looking in Describing what you see Remember what you're staring at is me (...) How much is real? So much to question An epidemic of the mannequins Contaminating everything We thought came from the heart It never did right from the start Just listen to the noises (Null and void instead of voices) Before you tell yourself It's just a different scene Remember it's just different from what you've seen (...) And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah

I cannot stress enough that these are the actual lyrics and I did not move them around or anything, all I did was remove the repeating verses/choruses. This song came out in 2006. An absolute shoe-in to be used in AMVs for this little guy except it's a rock song from 2006 and not an indie-pop song from the last five years and it's also not popular.

I was doing my usual thing like a week or two ago where I go through a bunch of songs I heard on the radio when I was in elementary school and as I was relistening to this song I felt like I had lost my mind. I remember relating to this song a lot when I was little kid because the song is about being lonely, and I think the Collector would relate to it too. More kids should listen to rock music from the 2000s because I am deluded* and think a lot of it is good. Music critics tremble before me when they try to say nu metal is bad and I just say "Nah".

(*Yes I do have psychosis and have delusions for realsies, I can use this word)

After this it's all under the cut because this post will end up being long because I fucking love talking about lyrics and the fun little picture shows my brain makes when I hear a song that fits a character. if you don't feel like reading the Archivists playlist discussion be happy knowing I summed all of them up in one picture:

No Lullaby by Siames -

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home? Where's the love when you were left on your own? So alone

The most relevant lyrics in the song are the chorus because the verses on this song are super abstract, like more than their other songs that I've heard. Final lines of the song are the above lines but instead of "so alone" it says "Who says you're on your own?" which feels like how their arc concludes in the show.

All the Best by Siames -

Let's play pretend now Don't be afraid, no Stop being worried this could be the way We are what we made up Ready for a new start Follow your dreams no other way will be that great And I'll keep searching for all the best Picture yourself in a rocket and believe you can be anything you want The meaning of our actions feeds the power of attraction, let it flow Just let it flow It's right under our noses Going through our minds With passion and devotion (with passion and devotion) Your light can be our sun

I feel the lyrics here are pretty self-explanatory. Since the band is Argentinian I'm going to forgive any wonkyness in the lyrics.

Steal My Sunshine by LEN -

Genuinely the lyrics for this song are very abstract but apparently it was written when the brother and sister of the group were having a fight. Though I think the lines "And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, So I missed a million miles of fun" are pretty good. Also it sort of just sounds like a song he would like.

Island In The Sun by Wheezer -

On an island in the sun We'll be playing and having fun And it makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain We'll run away together We'll spend some time forever We'll never feel bad anymore

Escapism, sun motif, easy pick for the Collector. Plus the song itself has this sort of fun, laid back up-beatness to it.

Kids by MGMT -

You were a child, crawling on your knees toward it Making momma so proud But your voice is too loud We like to watch you laughing You pick the insects off plants No time to think of consequences Control yourself Take only what you need from it A family of trees wanting To be haunted (...) The memories fade like looking through a fogged mirror Decision to decisions are made and not bought But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot, I guess not

I made a whole AMV for the Collector and King set to this song, it's a perfect fit, if I were to post all the relevant lyrics I would probably end up posting the whole song. Actually fuck it I'll post them anyways for everyone who's never heard this song.

Fine by Lemon Demon - (the sped up version)

Light is on the way, we'll be having a fun time It's such a lovely day, we should pocket the sunshine And never give it back, even if there's a heat wave We're stalling on the track, it will just be a close shave I know (I know) That in a snap, all the birds will sing I know (I know) I'm full of crap, but still Everything works out nice in the end The sun will marry the moon It'll be fine Why don't we sit back, mellow again And have a nice afternoon? It'll be fine

I feel like this is a fun song for them. Once again sun and moon imagery in the song, outwardly cheerful and bouncy in that way, but menacing at the same time.

GRRRLS by Aviva - (specifically the version that's a Collector animatic)

I can't explain it better than the video explains itself, so here's a link

Best of You by Foo Fighters -

I've got another confession to make I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holding you Were you born to resist or be abused? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best The best of you?

I think it fits thematically with the Collector breaking free from the cycle of abuse he was subjected to.

When I'm Gone by 3 Doors Down -

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone Everything I am and everything in me Wants to be the one you wanted me to be I'll never let you down even if I could I'd give up everything if only for your good So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there So love me when I'm gone Love me when I'm gone But when your education x-ray cannot see under my skin I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends Been roaming through this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone And part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone

Most annoying thing on the face of the earth when you're making playlists for child characters or siblings with terrible relationships is probably that every goddamn song you find where the lyrics are vague enough to be interpreted as a familial relationship and not romantic was probably still originally written to be romantic *strangles amatonormativity with my bare fucking hands for an hour straight*

So anyways in this context the song is about the Collector trying to reconcile their feelings about their family being shitty with their want to connect and love people and be comforted by the familiar.

Now for the playlists for the Archivists. I encourage you to look at the scroll bar on your screen. I will not judge you for looking at it and deciding you've read enough, especially since my Archivists (anyone's Archivists really) are totally made up and are basically OCs inhabiting a hole left by canon. I still have fun with them tho.

Penumbra first because she has the shortest playlist (Sorry Penny it's hard to find songs about being stressed by raising your younger siblings and being emotionally and mentally drained by stress)

Help! by The Beatles -

So much younger than today (I never need) I never needed anybody's help in any way (Now) but now these days are gone (these days are gone) I'm not so self assured (And now I find) now I find I've changed my mind And opened up the doors (...) In oh so many ways (My independ-) my independence seems to vanish in the haze (But) but every now and then (now and then) I feel so insecure

Once again on closer inspection of the lyrics I think this is AGAIN about romance. I choose to ignore it. I Do Not See It. I'm taking the implications out back and shooting them. Mainly I chose this song because it was kind of funny for everyone's playlists to be songs from the last 30 years mostly and Penny is out here like "I relate to this Beatles song which is a literal cry for help" someone save this woman (nonbinary).

Stressed Out by twenty one pilots -

Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it if I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it, I'd probably only sell one

*putting on a very serious face* She's stressed, she yearns for the nostalgia of when she wasn't responsible for so many things. The part about making money means nothing because I don't think Collectors participate in any economy because it's implied they don't need to eat and they could probably just magic up whatever they want/need.

Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine -

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You can't carry it with you if you want to survive And I never wanted anything from you Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

She wants to stop being so stressed out all the time but I think if she suddenly stopped experiencing it she would probably explode. Girl needs a therapist so badly. And a vacation. I like this song because when I looked up the meaning it was like "Bad days will end and things will get better one day" and the lyrics describe the incoming happiness as graphically fatal and terrifying in its approach like being hit by a fucking train in the first two lines of the song.

D.A.N.C.E. by Justice -

No need to analyze the lyrics here, I think she would just genuinely like this song and dance to it, though I think part of it is that there's a little bit of desperation in the way it's sung, like "please dance you have to dance or you will die" which is probably how she would feel if she was given time to relax like "oh wow this has never happened before, am I supposed to be afraid?"

Next I'll do Crescent because why not. "Birth" order, sure. Also Crescent's songs should be fairly easy to explain

The Pretender by Foo Fighters -

Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend Keep you in the dark And so it all began Send in your skeletons Sing as their bones go marching in again They need you buried deep The secrets that you keep are ever ready Are you ready? (...) What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays? You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender? I'm the voice inside your head You refuse to hear I'm the face that you have to face Mirroring your stare I'm what's left, I'm what's right I'm the enemy I'm the hand that'll take you down Bring you to your knees So, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend

I mean. She's a liar, a pretender, she's keeping a secret (having their parent taken away) from her siblings. He's an evil bastard. This explanation will be the standard response to most songs in this playlist but maybe from different angles.

Dangerous by Big Data ft Joywave -

Nobody's listening when we're alone Nobody's listening, there's nobody listening, No one can hear us when we're alone No one can hear us, no, no one can hear us And I've gotta get out of here Sink down, into the dark Keep on running I've gotta get out of here (Keep on running) Sink down, into the dark You understand, they got a plan for us I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous It must be fate, I found a place for us I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much

A little bit uncharacteristically paranoid for Crescent tbh, but the song is fucking awesome and even though the most fitting part of the song is only one line "I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous" it is sung in this sort of taunting way that really has enough threatening intent to be perfect for him.

Miss Murder by AFI -

With just a look, they shook And heavens bowed before him Simply a look can break your heart The stars that pierce the sky He left them all behind We're left to wonder why He left us all behind

After reading the lyrics I have a suspicion they aren't what 10 year old me interpreted them to be about. That's alright. I can imagine the verses are about all the times Crescent has made cults to worship her (I have a HC that Collectors primarily do this as a means of acquiring samples from all the planets they visit because it's easier to convince the most advanced life on the planet that you are a god who demands tribute and getting them to mobilize for you VS going around finding all the animals and plants and whatever else yourself).

I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters -

I've got to hand it to you You've played by all the same rules It takes the truth to fool me And now you've made me angry I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

Did I tell you guys??? Did I mention??? Crescent likes to kill people???? Most interesting part of this choice is how the truth will fool him, which is true. If she believes something that isn't true about you and makes the wrong assumptions based on that it's better for you in the long run, though continued exposure to her increases the chances that he'll eventually realize he made the wrong guess and then he'll get Very Mad about it.

Breezeblocks by alt-J -

No lyrical analysis because yeah they don't really fit but I like the song for the vibe, mainly the ending, though that sort of repetitive mania isn't really in line with how I characterize Crescent. I personally love it, this song triggers my mania sometimes and it's great.

Lone Digger by Caravan Palace -

Another one where it's less about how I write the character and more about what I think she'd like to listen or dance to. I think she would enjoy the frantic energy of the song.

You're Gonna Go Far Kid by Offspring -

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time And turning all against the one is an art that's hard to teach Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd And as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet (...) With a thousand lies and a good disguise Hit 'em right between the eyes Hit 'em right between the eyes When you walk away, nothing more to say See the lightning in your eyes See 'em running for their lives Slowly out of line, and drifting closer in your sight So play it out, I'm wide awake, it's a scene about me There's something in your way and now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want, well, it's all because of me

I feel like the picture here is clear, liar, manipulative, doesn't show her true face so she's always in disguise (metaphorically), the implication of murder/fighting. *slaps the hood of this song* This baby can fit so many of Crescent's worst qualities in it.

I Get It by CheVelle -

So you say you're ignored, as it is Well, give us your sad, sad trip You're right, I get it It all makes sense, you're the perfect person So bright, so wrong Let's all live in your imaginary life Assumed it's whether We're right, or wrong We're doomed and there's plenty for all How dare you catch me counting? How dare you call at all? How dare you call this suffering? How dare you call at all?

Crescent's inner monologue if either of the Twins voice their concerns about anything. Someone needs to hit him with a car.

Annihilation by A Perfect Circle -

It's your choice, your choice, your choice, your choice, Peace or annihilation

This song I think is originally about the American military industrial complex and nuclear war. So anyways for my dumb little OC's playlist this is basically the choice they give the people of the planets they visit if they start to get hostile. "Hey, I know things are tense but have you considered that I will boil your oceans and burn your world to ash if you don't choose to be nice?" Obviously it's also another instance of the song only really having one or two lines that strongly fit the vibe but you see the vision?

You're Going Down by Sick Puppies -

Define your meaning of war To me, it's what we do when we're bored I feel the heat comin' off of the blacktop And it makes me want it more Because I'm hyped up, out of control If it's a fight, I'm ready to go I wouldn't put my money on the other guy If you know what I know that I know (...) This is hardly worth fighting for But it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore When my fist hits your face and your face hits the floor It'll be a long time comin' Bet you got the message now 'Cause I was never goin' Yeah, you're the one that's going down

Oh hey one thing I haven't said about Crescent yet is she sometimes beats the shit out of her siblings (mainly Solari who instigates it on purpose even though she knows she'll lose because it's worth it to them to get under his skin). Well when I say "beats the shit out of them" I mean it more like Crescent can get a single good solid hit in and it knocks Solari down and the fight is over. Solari has never actually been mad enough to push their luck into a full-on brawl with Crescent. If Solari actually, for real, wants to fight him then she duels him with magic instead because it's an even match-up.

Next up I'll do Solari

She also has You're Going Down, but intended from the opposite perspective, while Crescent is the singer, Solari is the listener.

The Red by CheVelle -

The red Well, it filters through So lay down The threat is real When his sight Goes red again Seeing red again Seeing red again

You might be wondering, is this another song from Solari's perspective about Crescent? No. Solari gets so mad she basically loses all control of herself, hence the destruction of property she does. If they ever got actually mad enough to actually fight Crescent for real with their hands, she would be a very dirty fighter. She sees Crescent on her missions visiting the worlds of mortals. She's watched him fight for thousands of years. Crescent has never seen Solari fight with their hands. She might not be as physically strong as he is but she would be able to have the advantage of Crescent not knowing what to expect. Plus if Satellite is there and something has made their twin THAT mad then they would join in too.

Headstrong by Trapt -

Conclusions manifest Your first impressions got to be your very best I see you're full of shit and that's alright That's how you play, I guess you get through every night Well, now that's over I see your fantasy You wanna make it a reality paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads, yeah Well, now that's over I see your motives inside Decisions to hide Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on any one I know that you are wrong Headstrong, we're headstrong

Solari's mind when they're about to start shit with Crescent again. Unrelated I saw the band was marked red on my screen earlier and I was like "???" for a half second before remembering the lead singer is a dipshit loser who whines on twitter and facebook because I guess he has nothing better to do. May the miserable cretin never chart again.

Oh No! by Marina -

I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh! One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best

We've come to the portion of the playlist where Solari is consumed by guilt and regret. It's actually not separated like that, I'm just saying these lines speak to how she wants to change who she is as a person because she realizes she doesn't like who she currently is. Not that Penumbra or Crescent would know she's trying to get better, because Solari doesn't respect either of them and does not put in effort into improving herself for them, she's doing it for her little brother, the Collector. Even if she never gets to see them again.

Bother by Stone Sour -

Wish I was too dead to cry My self-affliction fades Stones to throw at my creator Masochists to which I cater You don't need to bother I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on I won't let go 'til it bleeds Wish I was too dead to care If indeed I cared at all Never had a voice to protest So you fed me shit to digest I wish I had a reason My flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying One good turn deserves my dying

I did mention they are being eaten alive by guilt and regrets right? This is for when Solari is having a bad time in her head.

Riot by Three Days Grace -

If you feel so empty So used up, so let down If you feel so angry So ripped off, so stepped on You're not the only one refusing to back down You're not the only one, so get up Let's start a riot A riot Let's start a riot

Solari is ready and back to being angry. They totally would incite a riot if they felt like they had a good enough reason to start one.

Fine Again by Seether -

And I am aware now Of how everything's gonna be fine One day, too late, I'm in Hell I am prepared now Seems everyone's gonna be fine One day, too late, just as well I feel a dream in me expire And there's no one left to blame it on I hear you label me a liar 'Cause I can't seem to get this through

Just kidding it's Solari Emo Hours again. The only line in the song that doesn't really apply are the lines about staying sober because I HC that there isn't really any chemical that has any effect on Collectors like that. Anyways this is Solari being like "Wow the two older siblings were able to just go back to pretending everything is fine after getting rid of our baby sibling what the fuck."

These next three songs Solari shares with Satellite so I'll talk about why I chose them for both.

Send the Pain Below by CheVelle -

I liked having hurt So send the pain below Where I need it You used to beg me to take care of things And smile at the thought of me failing But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below Much like suffocating Much like suffocating (...) You used to run me away all while laughing Then cry about the fact 'til I returned But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below

This is a bit messy but whenever the lines say "You did this" that's a perspective shift for the line from the twins' perspective to The Collector. Basically another song about the twins regretting being shitheads to their baby brother.

Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park -

Memories consume Like opening the wound I'm picking me apart again You all assume I'm safe here in my room Unless I try to start again I don't want to be the one The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That I'm the one confused I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So, I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'm going to assume some of this song is about some type of addiction. I'm disregarding that. Anyways the part about behavioral issues and not knowing why you act the way you do does align with the twins, and I mentioned it previously with Solari, about her trying to get better for the Collector, if he ever returns, but the same applies to Satellite. Though Satellite is at least attempting to practice this with Penumbra and Crescent. It's kind of difficult because they're so afraid of both of them, and Crescent avoids talking to them whenever he's actually around.

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men -

I don't like walking around this old and empty house So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear The stairs creak as you sleep It's keeping me awake It's the house telling you to close your eyes And some days I can't even dress myself It's killing me to see you this way 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore There's an old voice in my head That's holding me back Well, tell her that I miss our little talks Soon it will be over and buried with our past We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore Don't listen to a word I say (Hey) The screams all sound the same (Hey) And though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore You're gone, gone, gone away I watched you disappear All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart There's nothing we can do Just let me go, we'll meet again soon Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep

Yeah it's basically the full song. Once again the lyrics were vague and I had to dig around to find out it was written with romance in mind but I am sending my fucking mind beams out and blowing that up. Anyways tell me this couldn't be about Satellite and Solari's guilt for how they treated their little sibling and the last verse here where they "watched you disappear" is about when the Collector was imprisoned, and the torn apart bit is how they feel about their family. I might not identify as asexual anymore (further testing necessary I'll get back to you all on this if it turns out to be true) but I am still going to be fucking grabbing songwriters in my mouth and violently shaking them. Please can you just write complex interesting relationships into songs without being "OH YEAH IT'S ROMANCE" man there's other types of love. Please. I am on my fucking hands and knees.

*double checks playlist* Oh shit Fine Again by Seether is also on Satellite's playlist. Same explanation applies. Don't feel like moving shit around and adding accommodations in the existing text, I've been working on this for four hours because I have severe ADHD and I am dogshit at prioritizing anything.

If you get this far comment on the post about my brave stance that if a candle smells good enough I would eat it. It hasn't happened yet but my toasted coconut s'more candle tempts me every fucking time I smell it.

Anyways now it's Just Satellite

Unwell by Matchbox Twenty -

Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be, me

Fun fact I actually listen to this song when I feel like I might be about to have a bout of existential terror or some other flavor of mental breakdown and singing along to it calms me down. Obviously, Satellite would be able to relate about feeling gripped by a nebulous madness that Changes You when it hits. I actually have an idea for what I might have unintentionally gave them. Like. This is buried deep enough no one will hit it.

Anyways like a few days after I wrote my fucking long ass post about the Archivists and Collector's relationships and related HC and shit I began wondering. "Am I Autistic??" Asked a friend who is autistic and has ADHD at the same time (like what I would have if the answer to this wonder is yes) and she gave me some things to read about it and I was like "oh my fucking god this is literally all me." and then, because I'm some type of menace freak and I reread my posts that I like frequently, I reread my post about the Archivists and shit and I was like "Ah fuck are they all autistic??? I knew I couldn't write neurotypical people because I have literally never been one but seriously??????"

Point is: I might be autistic. Mentioning it here and now because it seems like getting an actual diagnosis is going to be a huge fucking pain in the ass and won't happen for months. And I might have made the Archivists all autistic or probably other slivers of my various other mental illnesses because I am physically incapable writing a neurotypical person. Circling around to what started this tangent: Satellite absolutely has autistic meltdowns. I don't know if ADHD people get meltdowns like how I imagine Satellite gets them, but they are modeled after My Own experiences with having meltdowns. So anyways back to music analysis in relation to my dumbass little OCs.

Bound For The Floor by Local H -

Born to be down I've learned all my lessons before now Born to be down I think you'll get used to it And you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic And you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic (...) Born to be down I think that I've said this before now Born to be down What good is confidence?

I've actually always related this song to mental illness, ever since I was a kid, I always associated the song with the struggles of growing up neurodivergent and how it beats you down and you learn to accept it and live with it.

Words As Weapons by Seether -

All I really want is something beautiful to say Keep me locked up in your broken mind I keep searchin', never been able to find a Light behind your dead eyes Not anything at all You keep living in your own lie, ever-deceitful and ever-unfaithful Keep me guessin', keep me terrified Take everything from my world (...) Keep me dumb, keep me paralyzed Why try swimming? I'm drowning in fables You're not that saint that you externalize You're not anything at all It's oh-so playful when you demonize To spit out the hateful, you're willing and able Words are weapons I'd be terrified You're nothing in my world

Now a song for how Satellite feels about Crescent. Once again, about a person who lies and projects a self that isn't true to who they really are, and the singer is terrified of them, which fits because that's how Satellite feels about their older brother. Crescent is physically strong and gifted with weapons but her best weapon is her charisma and charm and how she uses it to manipulate people.

Keep Talking by Pink Floyd -

There's a silence surrounding me I can't seem to think straight I sit in the corner And no one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me?) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking?) I feel like I'm drowning (what are you feeling?) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me?) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me) I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking?) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling?) I feel like I'm drowning (You never talk to me) you know I can't breathe now (What are you thinking?) We're going nowhere (What are you feeling?) We're going nowhere (Why won't you talk to me?) (You never talk to me) (What are you thinking?) (Where do we go from here?)

Now I saved this one for last even though it was literally the first song I ever started associating with Satellite because I think it really fits them. I think this is what it's like from their perspective when they have a meltdown. I don't really know how else to describe it so I guess I'll break this down line by line because sunk cost fallacy at this point why not.

"There's a silence surrounding me" in my own experience with meltdowns, which is what Satellite's are based off of, I find that all the blood rushes to my ears and I sort of lose the ability to recognize sound?

"I can't seem to think straight" probably self-explanatory but in my experience I stop having coherent thought and kind of only think in impulses.

"I sit in the corner, and no one can bother me," though this wasn't always the case (like when you're a child experiencing this you don't really understand what is even happening, and you develop this later in like when it's more like "ah this shit again") you will typically try to remove yourself from the situation that is causing you the distress that makes you have a meltdown in the first place.

"I think I should speak now, I can't seem to speak now, My words won't come out right" this could either be interpreted as a meltdown where you just shut down and stop talking or a meltdown where you fucking scream, I tended to have ones where I would just scream, but that might be because when I get the other way I end up crying silently instead so I might have filed those moments away as just normal "I am sad" moments?

"I feel like I'm drowning" meltdowns can be overwhelming, and when I'm overwhelmed I tend to stop my feet and flail my arms and sort of contort myself because?? I don't know. It feels like I'm trying to escape my own body honestly. Drowning in myself.

"I'm feeling weak now, but I can't show my weakness" this shit is fucking humiliating to have happen in public and around other people man, it sucks ass.

So anyways that is my ridiculously long ass post about music and my little bastards (and baby, the Collector is only baby) that I spent FIVE HOURS writing. I am going to go wash my hands because Bad Texture, drink some water, and then get floor time which is time where I lie face down on my floor and pretend to be a dead body.

[paladin-official]

Also some some OC thoughts and questions for Hahns if you don’t mind. Np if you're still have to think about some of these since their still WIP c:

Do commanders have multiple Hahns serve under them like a band/circle of knights or just one or a few if they're more like specialists?

Do you think there are commanders that keep their Hahns off the field so they can be safe and close to them? If so, do you think there’d be any tensions w/ Hahns that want to serve their commanders by fighting for them?

Any idea which units act as commanders to Hahns? Would it just be Falkes or Storchs as well?

Are Hahns also chivalrous outside of their loyalty? Do you think that’s an issue for them being part of the Eusan Nation?

Do you think Hahns train together in their spare time? Maybe engage in Hahn to Hahn combat?

Thank you for giving me another excuse to talk about my rooster boys, I really appreciate it. I am actually writing for them as we speak, so I appreciate the chance to share with my beloved mutual, loyal followers, and the general Signalis tag. This will be a long post so more under the cut.

HANR (Hüter Angriff Nahkampf Replika - Hahn) (acronyms subject to change) are dual-purpose close-range specialists built to resemble martial champions from mankind's ancient history, serving as both loyal protectors and valiant frontline vanguard soldiers.

Physically, they stand at 175 cm (same as Adler and Eule) not including helmets, and their face resembles Adler's but with facial hair and brown hair and eyes. They're covered entirely in armour, usually painted red and black like Star's but often decorated and even repainted by the Hahn himself, as they have a tendency for vanity and favour flashy, attention grabbing colours and accessories such as plumes, ribbons, engravings, and etc. They wield large Zweihander as their main weapon, though some also carry an emergency firearm, often pistols or revolvers.

Hahns are well known for their intense loyalty, and possess the signature ability to bond to their charge, forming deep connections and devoting themselves to protecting their charge and obeying their orders, even at the cost of their lives. Once a bond is formed it is unbreakable, and even if the charge does not return their affection, the Hahn will stay by their side for the remainder of his life. Their devotion is second to none, and they are even more dependent on their commander for their well-being than Adler units.

Aside from their bonds and vanity, Hahns have two more notable traits. First, they possess low-level bioresonant potential that shields them from mental manipulation, such as Kolibri's mind control for example. They have no active bioresonant abilities to use themselves, however, and they aren't protected from physical application of bioresonance such as Falke's spears.

Second, Hahns tend to develop strict codes of honour, which they painstakingly follow at every step. This can often interfere with their duties, and Hahns who are caught between obeying their orders or upholding their morality can quickly grow distressed by the conflict. A charge's command will almost always override the code, but being ordered to break their ideals too often runs a high risk of destabilizing the Hahn. There is only one recorded case in the unit's history of a Hahn choosing to follow his code even against direct orders, to the point of treason against the Eusan Nation. The unit, HANR-0331 Ritter, still evades capture and his whereabouts are unknown to this day.

Hahns are most often paired to Falkes, often in groups of 3-6, but in one case as many as a dozen Hahns have been assigned to a single Falke. Other common charges are Adlers, who are often given a single Hahn guard, two at the most. Rarer but not unheard of charges are high-ranking Star security officers, but in theory a Hahn could bond to most Replika types.

Battlefield-deployed Hahns often prefer to bond to each other, creating a strong sense of fellowship within the company. Frontline Hahns are fiercely protective of their units, and are deployed to deal with the most threatening enemy unit in the field while their allies fight weaker but more numerous combatants.

Hahns prefer to spend their spare time at the side of their charges, but when forced to part from them, they also find joy in the company of their brothers, and get along with most other Replika. Common pastimes are sparring, comparing their decorated liveries, socializing with other Replikas, and often even Gestalts. The only Replikas that Hahns have trouble with are Storchs, who they clash with over the latter's vicious streak and cruel tendencies, and Kolibris with whom they compete for the Falke's attention and affection.

I could go on and on about these funky dudes and what I have for them, but this post is already long and kinda disorganized, so I'll cut it off here, but I'll accept more questions any time!

[apalestar]

One orthon was difficult enough, three was insurmountable. Yet it was almost plausible. Sent on behalf of Zariel, mercy was a far cry away. It seemed, as Karlach pulled her trusted axe from the face of a fallen devil, that the fiends had forgotten she and Astarion were not about to grant mercy either.

Severely wounded, arm certainly broken, the axe felt heavy in her exhausted grip. Blade to the ground, she aimed to lean on it for just a moment, turning to see what shape he was in, flashing a victorious smile. Her vision darkening and certainly blurred, her body wishing only to collapse and rest - she didn't detect the movement behind her.

Karlach heard it before she felt it. The all too familiar ballad of ripped flesh, cracked bones and blood cascading onto rock. Even then when feeling returned, it didn't in spades. Only when she caught sight of fiery flares branching away from her did she dare look down. She saw it. A blade protruding from her torso, a clean cut all the way through. A dagger, in an orthon's hands at least...

The taste of blood threatened to drown her as she drained. The only thing holding her up was the orthons grip on the hilt, but as he finally gave way, so did she. Collapsing on her side with no time to speak, to fathom what was happening. She had kissed death before in battle. But unlike those times, there was no resurrection scrolls. No Withers.

'Go back...home...' Karlach found herself thinking as the world began to fade, focusing solely on the blur of white amongst all the red. 'Leave...be safe...'

'Live.'

@iron-hearts-ablaze

Idiocy separated them. They worked in tandem. Karlach in front whilst he struck from the shadows, but somehow the orthons had placed some distance between them. Led them down a tragic path in their tale. One where Astarion buried his blade into the throat of one just to see the silver and crimson pierce through his partner's body. "Karlach!" Voice carried across the field.

A cry born of pain and suffering. Of a heart lurched within his chest. The sudden drop of his world beneath his feet. Astarion felt off-kilter in a way he hadn't for centuries. "Get away from her!" He snarled and growled uncaring of his own injuries.

It was the sickening part of all of this. He was already undead. His curse sustained him. Wounds and injuries healed slowly even shortly after being inflicted. He only had to stay fed. Karlach afforded no such boon.

Grief-stricken and adrenaline filled Astarion was a sight to behold. A creature of death and shadow given form. If the hells wanted a monster of him, they damn sure received one. He fought them the orthons blades coated slick in their blood. A man driven to the extremes. Not even Cazador had warranted such fury. He sustained his own wounds as he stole their lives, but Astarion soldiered through. Unless they severed his head, he wasn't so easily felled.

But it didn't matter. None of it mattered. Karlach was already still when he reached her. He begged and pleaded beneath his breath. For anyone or anything to reverse this. To suddenly be a full vampire capable of bringing her back. But he wasn't. This was real.

"No, no, no! You weren't supposed to leave me like this! You were supposed to live! Damn you!" Astarion wailed. Voice tainted in his breaking heart. Tears glistened in tracks down his face. His hands cupped Karlach's cheeks. But she didn't breath. She didn't move. She was just a magnificent flame snuffed out by the wind.

Astarion held her corpse in his arms. His face buried in her hair. Cries muffled against her, unwilling to let Karlach go even as her body grew cold. Colder than his own. He had failed her. Failed to live up to that promise of curing her. But he'd bring her back. He would bring her back.

The field green and lush even under the full moon's light. He loathed flowers. Gaudy and trite little things, but she didn't. And this was as much for him as it was for her. Astarion waited for the flowers to burst open. Snow white beneath the pale moonlight. Moonflowers.

The urn in his hands felt heavy like the choking weight in his heart; the tightness in his throat. Astarion stilled himself with a breath he didn't require. Twisted the jar open and let her be free among the flowers she loved. Watched as her ashes would spread and dance among the blooms of white.

Astarion couldn't save her. Couldn't restore her heart, but he could do this. Bring Karlach home. Lay her to rest under the moon and stars far away from Zariel and the hells that wronged her. "Goodbye, Fire Girl."

And in the end Astarion had to live on for her. For the both of them. Eternity was going to be very, very long.

He still hated the flowers.