#i would die for a big snail

[bigshot-furbiestm]

im living out my snail farmer dreams guys!!!!

my goal is to be a random npc with a snail farm so you can do snail races and also send love letters to my crush for me

[a-very-fond-farewell]

so. i did a bad thing :)

[saerins]

─── 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 4.7k | content: fluff (i promise), slight insecurities, comfort, 5 times he says yes and 1 time he says no

notes: ok ok so guys !! i know i’ve been posting angst recently so i offer you comfort sae !! <3 this man has my entire heart so i’m just gonna embrace it hehe may or may not have been thinking of ‘daylight’ when i wrote this .

summary: the way sae loves you is beautiful. it’s nothing like you envisioned and something you never knew you needed.

“be my girlfriend, then, idiot.”

he’s handsome, seventeen.

even more handsome when he’s on the field, being the beast you know he is. he dribbles past everyone like they’re robots, like they’re snails. he gets into the penalty area and scores, and everyone in the stand cheers.

if there’s one common knowledge in your high school, it’s that itoshi sae is one of the world’s best soccer players.

maybe it’s no wonder that you’re holding a bag full of gifts for sae for valentines, being assistant manager for your school’s soccer team. it’s astounding how heavy this bag is. but you’ll know that in the end, whatever’s inside will likely get distributed between the entire team anyway, given how sae never accepts a single one.

“is it that time of the year again?” sae sighs, squirting water from his bottle into his mouth, towel hanging around his neck as he walks out of the locker room shirtless, fresh after a shower and hair all damp, sticking to the sides of his face.

still handsome.

“would it kill you to accept at least one of them?”

you expect one of his usual retorts—maybe a yes or a one of them could be poisonous. but instead, he grabs the bag from you, still frowning. “fine then,” he says, opening the bag and peering inside before he turns his gaze back onto you, “which one’s from you?”

the one with the purple post-it attached to sae’s favourite candy bar.

“i didn’t give you any, itoshi,” you lie, keeping your calm and crossing your arms. but sae cocks a brow because he doesn’t believe you. “really!”

“yeah, you sure about that?” sae’s tone takes a surprisingly gentle turn, and you find it hard to get used to. especially when it’s coupled with an amused expression.

“really, i’d die before giving anything to a grump like you.”

sae nods his head like he doesn’t believe you and starts rifling through the contents. he takes something out—a candy bar with a purple post-it attached to it. you can’t escape from him even if you tried.

“you’re the most irritating smart handsome guy i know, i hope you make it to the big leagues, i’ll never get tired of watching you play,” sae reads out loud, monotonously because it’s his way of mocking you. his gaze shifts from the note up to you, and he has his answer by your unwillingness to meet his eyes. “slick.”

“oh, shut up,” you tell him before turning on your heels and walking off.

“you want me so bad.”

“you wish, itoshi sae.”

“hey, take the rest of these away from me,” sae calls after you, referring to the big bag of valentines’ gifts you’d just left him with.

you turn around, walking backwards. “i’m not your girlfriend, itoshi, not my job!”

sae smirks. “be my girlfriend then, idiot.”

taken off guard, you fail to watch where you’re walking and fall over a broom, knocking several of the janitor’s stuff over. sae runs over, straight-faced while he holds his hand out to you.

“damn klutz,” he remarks as he pulls you up on your feet.

you’re thankful sae’s not the kind to make jokes like how he swept you off your feet, but the close proximity is making you giddy, in a good way, and you’re not sure you want to pass up on that.

“so?”

“so what, itoshi? and let me go,” you say, trying to pull away from him. he doesn’t let go though.

“say yes, then i’ll let go,” he tells you, and you can feel his breath fanning your lips and you’re sure he’s having a field day watching you get flustered.

“sure you want me, itoshi sae?” because a part of you finds that hard to believe, with the way he rejects other girls left and right and barely feels any remorse.

but what you don’t know is how different you are to him. if he dare say, special. maybe it’s the way you’ve always seemed like the stubborn kind, the kind of girl that refuses to ask for help but secretly wants to be protected. the kind of girl who can always help herself, but kill him if he thinks you’re someone who wouldn’t mind having someone to lean on.

maybe at some point, he started to want to be that person for you. no matter how many times you scream his name for not complying to schedules, no matter how many times you flip your hair against his face. you have everyone on the soccer team on a leash, and most of all sae.

that’s the first time he tells you—yes, he wants you.

“not even if you bribe me.”

at nineteen, sae’s serious about you.

it’s no secret that he’s devoted—you can feel it. because sae isn’t the type to profess his love every day, no. he’s the kind that shows it through his actions, through the way he automatically carries your shopping for you, through the way he always takes your side in public, through the way he looks at you whenever you’re talking.

you have no doubt about it. it doesn’t even cross your mind that he might stray. yeah, you have your priorities, and he has his. you’ll go after them, and he’ll go after his—there’s no reason why you can’t chase your dreams in parallel.

your parents think otherwise, though.

like some rather typical parents do, they’re sceptical; sae can see it in their eyes. the way they furrow their brows whenever you invite him to chime in during dinner, the way they ask investigative questions—things about his past history that even you never asked him.

“mom!” you’re fed up with their interrogation tactics, shooting a warning glare at your parents.

your mom and dad look at each other in resignation before resuming to quietly eat their dinner. you’re reluctant to leave sae alone at the dinner table with your parents while you help to wash up, but sae tells you he’ll be fine. because he will.

they’re humans. they’re like you, just older and less prettier. why should sae be scared?

as expected, the moment you turn the tap on, your parents jump on him.

“you know, she really likes you,” your mom tells him. “i can’t say the same for you, though.”

sae’s never navigated around conversations with parents. he doesn’t know the first thing about this. he’s just keeping his fingers crossed he doesn’t fuck up.

“you look like someone who has a lot of girls, itoshi,” your father chimes in before sae can speak up. “you have a lot of girls on the side?”

he could not be more wrong.

“none, sir.”

why does this effort feel much more than necessary?

“why y/n?” your mother jumps in, and for the first time tonight, sae spots a genuine curiosity in her eyes.

not the best question to ask someone who doesn’t even remotely talk about their feelings. sae finds himself stumped, but your mother is, fortunately, a nice person deep down.

“just tell me this,” she leans forward, and your father seems to relax a little bit, sinking back against his chair. none of you realise the tap’s turned off. “do you love her?”

that’s… premature, if sae has any say in it. and he thinks it’s criminal that he’s telling your mother before he even tells you, but he knows that not admitting it would likely cause a rift between you and them—not something he wants.

making you miserable? no thank you.

so he nods, “yes, i do.”

“you realise that—”

“sir, let me put it this way: you can’t force me to stay away from her, not even if you bribe me.”

from the kitchen, you smile as you listen. looks like you had nothing to worry about after all.

“they’re nothing compared to you.”

you love seeing sae living his dreams; love having front-row seats to his matches, love catching the fleeting glimpses he gives after he wins.

he’s twenty-one and thriving in the soccer scene, more than ever. world-famous and revered. the two of you are stronger than ever, still, because despite how sae looks, he’s much softer than people think.

when he’s running late from practice, he texts you the moment he can, tells you what’s up. when he has to cancel on you, he makes sure he makes it up to you. if he has soccer obligations on special occasions, he’ll let you know.

it’s funny thinking back to the days when you used to squabble with each other, to the days when everyone was tired of hearing you and sae argue.

not that that should be a problem now anymore—why? simple, because non-disclosure agreements are ass. but a highly recommended thing by his publicist; to protect his image, and then he told you not to take it personally because he’s asking all of sae’s close contacts to sign it too.

which didn’t take long.

it was mostly rin and his parents, and some other guys he used to know back in high school.

oh, and there’s you. apparently, you can’t divulge anything about being in a relationship with itoshi sae. so, as far as the world is concerned, he’s a bachelor.

“it’ll sell better,” was all the explanation his publicist offered.

sae had been against it, because why should he hide you from the world? and it’s stupid. but his publicist is smart, pointing out that you might get harassed online if his loyal fans find out. (to which sae begrudgingly agreed to, for the interim.)

it was fine, up to a point, but you’d never really considered how you’d feel seeing all these headlines of sae possibly being romantically linked with all these socialites and up-and-coming movie stars.

a part of you, the prideful part, is too stuck-up to ask your boyfriend for assurance. mainly because you think it’s stupid. sae constantly texts you when he’s not with you (as much as his schedule allows), and whenever he’s done for the day he goes back home and calls you if he can.

the other part of you, the lovestruck one, is afraid that maybe you can’t measure up to everyone else. that just maybe, you’re worlds apart and you’re not good enough.

usually you’d wait for sae to tell you he’s home, you’d let him rest his mind on the way back, but this time you’re impulsive and you’re dialing his number before you know it.

“hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, picking up after just two rings. even he knows you don’t usually initiate the calls.

“um,” you stutter because you don’t actually know how to tell him you’re calling to ask for assurance. despite having been together for four years, you realise that neither of you have actually sat down and talked about feelings.

“babe, talk to me,” sae urges you, and you can hear him getting off the bus. he must have just reached his apartment complex. he must’ve been tired from an entire day of intensive bootcamp and here you are, calling him with your trivial matters.

“it’s nothing, sae, forget it.”

“wait, what—”

you hang up before he can say anything and quickly text him.

i’m feeling a little sick tonight, just going to rest early.

sae leaves you on read and you think you’ve fended him off.

you did not.

an hour later, he’s at your door, carrying all your favorite convenience store snacks and a worried expression.

“what is it?” he asks you. you’re a little too stunned to speak. sae lets himself in, placing the snacks on your dining table before he really looks at you, surveying your face. “what were you crying about?”

you suddenly feel stupid for thinking your puffy eyes wouldn’t give you away.

sae tips your chin up when you try to look down. “y/n, tell me,” and he sounds only concerned, and the guilt builds up inside you.

so you tell him—you tell him about your intrusive thoughts as he lets you lay against his chest on the couch. you tell him about your insecurities as he sits in silence and listens. you tell him that you think it’s stupid of you to think this and you’re beginning to think you’re an ass for keeping him up so late when he has training tomorrow morning.

but sae doesn’t feel that. not one bit.

“it’s not stupid,” he tells you, and if you’d been able to see his expression, you’d know that he can never look at anyone the same way he looks at you. “all those girls you’re worried about, they’re nothing compared to you.”

“really?” you sniffle, appreciating the fact that even though he’s horrible at talking emotions, he’s trying his best for you.

sae pulls some hair away from your face and you pull back to get a good look at him. “really, stupid.” you laugh and he laughs, and now you’re really feeling stupid because there’s no way sae would ever choose anyone else over you. would never dream of having any other option.

“promise?”

sae sighs, in that lovingly way he does. “yes, i promise,” and he means it—he’s never thought of being with anyone else. “i love you, don’t i?”

you nod, chuckling because yes, yes he does. and yes, you know that more than anyone. even if it has to be kept under wraps for now; there’s no cause for concern.

when you fall asleep on his chest and sae’s too cautious to wake you up, your mother wakes up to take some water and stumbles upon the sight. she greets sae with a nod and a smile, the softest one he’s seen so far.

“my daughter has good taste.”

“that’s a secret.”

sae’s only getting more and more famous as he gets older. a year later and he’s already garnering attention from everyone, with girls lining up to be a possible mrs itoshi.

you’re still unknown; hidden in the crevices, tucked between pieces of signed contracts. you’re dealing with it, it’s fine. it’s going great, only because you’ve learned to get used to it. it was either that or to call everything off, and you don’t want that.

it’s a friday night and sae’s away for another match, this time in london, and you’re watching post-game interviews on your screen while you finish your pack of chips.

they finally get to sae, throwing the normal obligatory questions like how he feels after winning the match, how he feels like being the man of the match. until they start asking personal questions like who he’d like to dedicate his win to.

he dodges the first few easily with vague answers. but then they get even more personal.

“so, itoshi, rumours have it that you’ve been in a long-term relationship now, is that true?”

you freeze up hearing the question, noticing how sae momentarily looks to the right before he rolls his eyes and turns back to the interviewer.

“maybe,” he answers, and you’re surprised. that’s the first time he’s probably not listened to his publicist.

“now who is this lucky lady?”

sae sighs, “that’s a secret.”

his interview ends there as he retreats back into the locker room, your phone vibrating almost immediately after.

one day i’m gonna show you off to everyone.

you smile as you type your response.

sure you want the whole world to know you belong to me?

you expect a retort about how it’s the other way around, but he does one better.

fuck yes.

“you make me lose my goddamn mind.”

you’re both comfortable, twenty-three and lounging in sae’s apartment, curled up in the couch, fingers intertwined and spending a lazy sunday in.

it’s right smack in the middle of his break and you’ve got him to yourself for four entire months. it’s been good, so good.

everyday you’re reminded of why you love him, of why he’s yours. the way he pulls you back against him in the mornings when you wake up. the way he says your name when he’s sleepy, the raspiness in his voice known only to you.

“hey, i’m heading out for a while,” he tells you, slipping on his slides and unlocking the door.

that’s how it usually goes; you’re still not allowed to admit to your relationship, even if sae has hinted at being in a committed relationship. what his publicist considers as minimising risks is that both of you shouldn’t be seen out in public together. that’s why you’re having fun nights out at odd hours and being romantic in private.

sae often just leaves in the middle of the day, some alone time and maybe get some groceries since you can’t let yourself be seen leaving his apartment. it’s not an ideal situation, but you’ll take it. the last thing you want to do is make his life harder.

while he’s gone, you do the chores—make the bed, defrost some chicken breasts, vacuum, maybe wash the laundry. he’s doing his best to learn the right way to do chores (because one time when you asked him to help vacuum he ended up vacuuming the bathroom too), but you find it’s easier if you just do them instead.

usually he comes back by now, takes about a half an hour because his apartment is nestled in the centre of town, surrounded by all the stores and amenities he could need. but you stare at the clock.

it’s been an hour and a half, what’s he up to?

sae doesn’t even respond when you text him. right as you’re about to call him, worried, you hear his keys jangling and the door opening.

you expected to find him carrying a huge bag of groceries with the amount of time he was gone, but he’s empty-handed and you’re starting to think maybe he was hounded by paparazzi.

“did you have trouble with some press?” you ask innocently, mop in your hand.

sae sighs, “fuck no, thank god.” he toes off his slides and tosses his keys on the dining table, taking his cap off and tousling his hair. his pretty pretty reddish brown locks.

“oh, then where’d you go?”

sae smirks at you this time, hiding something behind his back.

“what’re you up to, itoshi?”

he rolls his eyes because you only call him that when you’re afraid. “relax, baby,” he coos, inching closer to you and revealing what he’s holding.

sae’s holding up your keychain; a mini figurine of sae you got from one of the gift shops during his match. but you spot something that wasn’t there before—a key, painted black like the door to his apartment.

“sae?”

“this key’s yours.”

you blink at him, a little stupefied. “sae, did you get lost while trying to find the key copy place?”

sae clicks his tongue, annoyed. “shut up, do you want this or not?” by the way he’s all red, he did get lost.

you take the key from him, suppressing a grin. “aw thanks, now i can let myself in.”

sae sighs again, “i’m asking you to move in, stupid.”

“y-you want me to move in here?”

“yes.”

“like, you want to see my face everytime you wake up and before you go to bed?”

“yeah.”

“you want me to live here with you, together?”

“yes and if you ask anymore i’ll take it back.” because sae’s aware that you’re asking out of disbelief—he loves his alone time yet here he is, asking you to be with him whenever he’s back home. which isn’t that hard to believe for him; you’re the only one he’d ever want to be alone together with.

you giggle, “okay okay, roomie.”

sae only sighs. “you make me lose my goddamn mind.”

“i don’t want this anymore.”

it’s your fault, it’s all your fault.

sae’s publicist is at the house, screaming at the top of his lungs, and by sae’s unamused expression, he’s not having it. he’s just controlling himself so he doesn’t end up getting a lawsuit filed against him for employee abuse.

“who thinks it’s safe to go out wearing their boyfriend’s jersey, which isn’t even for sale yet by the way,” he rants, staring straight at you, “and go down and buy a birthday cake on his birthday and take it up to his apartment, all while knowing that the press is gonna be camping outside the complex?”

he makes you feel stupid.

sae steps in front of you, his broad shoulders the only thing making you feel safe from his publicist’s constant attack. “you yell at my girl one more time and you’re done,” sae threatens, managing to get his publicist to storm out of the house.

apparently, sae had a big endorsement deal all planned with the one stipulation being that he had to appear a bachelor up until the stunt was over. and now his publicist’s mad because that’s all down the drain and his commissions are gone.

“hey, you okay?” sae asks you, gently, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

you’re fine, you’ll get over it. it’s just what his publicist said that gets in your head.

it’s like you’re trying to ruin his deals.

being with a famous pro player comes with some form of caution, you know that right?

she’s just in the fucking way!

weeks pass and it’s not easier to drown out the voices. sae’s good at it, so he’s already moved past it, resumes work as per usual, assumes you’re okay too because of the multitude of times you insisted that you are.

but really? it’s fucking difficult.

if you thought you were insecure before everyone knew about you, it’s ten times worse now. while the majority of people are nice about it, saying wonderful stuff like how the two of you are so sweet and look so good together, there’s still so many people who shit on you.

wait, i thought he was with that model from that one shoot? damn, he got the short end of the stick with his gf lol

lmaooo what a downgrade from that other soccer star he was dating

@itosae you okay, dude? you blind or something?

there’s a lot more than that. a lot. some of them even found your account, messaged you directly and said some less-than-nice things.

you keep it all from sae, though. the last thing you need to do is distract him any further, especially when he has the champions’ league coming up.

“i’m fine, mom,” you say one night when your mother calls to check up on you. “i promise.”

you’re a bad daughter, keeping these from your mother who’s just concerned. she isn’t convinced, but she hangs up anyway afterwards, telling you to rest.

it’s easy for things to spiral when you keep them all to yourself. the voices in your head that belongs to sae’s disgruntled fans growing louder, drowning out the words of affection sae tells you everyday.

until one day you think you can’t take it anymore.

they’re all telling you that you’re not good enough, that you’re just a burden. his publicist is nowhere near your side, instead silently siding with the fans who berate you. sae’s oblivious to it all, you think, because he doesn’t do anything about it.

one day you’re just sitting side by side, watching a movie, sae’s arm around your shoulders, his fingers idly twirling your hair.

“sae, we need to talk.”

like the lover he is, he pauses the movie, adjusting himself to look at you. “yeah, what is it?” he’s smiling at you because he has no idea what’s coming.

and you know, you know if you tell him what you really think that it won’t work, so you put on your best game face. truth be told, you’d been building up to this moment anyway, purposely telling him you’d be busy whenever he’s back from his games just so you won’t spend time together. it was all to give him the illusion that you just weren’t interested anymore, no matter how fucked up that sounds.

“i don’t want this anymore.”

sae furrows his brows. “what? what’s this?”

you sigh, feigning frustration. “this, sae. us. i don’t want this anymore.”

“why not?”

“because i’m tired. i’m tired of dating someone who’s half here and half not, i’m tired of tolerating your stupid habits, i’m tired of being with you, sae.” you’re raising your voice, but sae doesn’t flinch. his expression doesn’t even change. you’re beginning to think you broke him, made him malfunction.

when sae doesn’t say anything, you continue.

“i want to break up.”

sae looks away from you, at the patch of rug on the floor beside him, jaw clenched. he blinks a few times before he looks back at you.

“no.”

now it’s your turn to be confused. “w-what?”

sae tilts his head to the side, concern etched in his expression. “i said no, y/n,” he repeats, sighing. he puts his forefinger under your chin, his thumb caressing the side of your face. “who are you trying to fool?”

“i-i mean what i said, sae.”

you’re in disbelief. you hate how he knows you better than anyone else, maybe better than yourself, and you’re beginning to realise no one can come close to sae for you.

“so you don’t love me anymore? don’t wanna be my girl anymore?” he asks, but it’s redundant because he knows the answers. “i love you, okay? and i’d be a shit boyfriend if i let you go like this.”

you’re speechless, so you don’t say a thing, just sit awkwardly in front of him while for the first time in his life, he resolves to being there for you.

“look, i don’t know what mean things people are saying online, but fuck them,” he tells you.

“sae, it’s not easy,” you sniffle.

“then talk to me, and stop shutting me out, you idiot,” he chastises, and you find yourself falling onto him. “i fired my publicist too, by the way. couldn’t stand him spouting shit about you even after i told him to shut the fuck up.”

you laugh at his exasperation, your chest somehow feeling lighter.

“and, do me a favor? ignore the mean comments, yeah?” sae tells you, softer this time. “i kinda don’t ever wanna lose you, so.” he has his head resting on top of yours, your fingers intertwined and your heart soaring.

until now, you’d thought it’d be easy to drive sae away. you thought if you’d been enough of a nuisance, an eyesore, that he’d just take your word for it and run, that he’d throw a fit and let you leave.

but he doesn’t.

sae stays. and he tells you to stay. because he doesn’t know much about laundry, or how to handle feelings, but what he knows is how to love you. he knows what you need and he knows what you’re thinking, even if he doesn’t necessarily tell you about it.

and sae is a bitch to the world. he’s not the friendliest to fans nor does he care about making friends or enemies.

but to you, he’s everything. he says no to either of you straying and he says yes to whatever you ask except when it doesn’t make sense and you never knew that this was the beauty of being with someone who wants you—in every sense of the word.

there’s a certain threshold to pass before you can see everything clearly. suddenly it’s like the mean voices are faded into the background, and suddenly sae’s love is all you hear, and nothing is blurred because now all you can think about is how even if the world fails you, sae never will.

“hey, sae?”

“mhm?”

“thank you.”

he smiles against your head and you can feel it. “i love you, stupid.”

and you love him; recognising your handwriting and sweeping you off your feet. you love him; braving your parents, living his dreams. you love him; protecting you and showing up at your door. you love him; bashful yearning and unwavering emotions.

so you kiss him in response, and that’s all he needs to know that you’re with him for life.

[sagasolejma]

Found this little fella (actually pretty big, about the size of my middle finger) in the middle of the road today and picked him up to put him in some bushes close by (since he would most likely dry out and die on the asphalt or get hit by a car) sadly though, I accidentally dropped him while carrying him and (admittedly) I felt so bad about it I cried.

Like, cried A LOT. I'm genuinely still really really angry at myself for being so clumsy and I get teary eyed if I think til much about it.

Luckily I have like, a million spare plastic terrariums, and his little slimy body seems to be unharmed so I put him down with some spagnum moss and the like, added a few clean eggshells for calcium and cucumbers and am hoping he will start patching up his shell in the safety of my room, and be ready to return to the garden in about 7-14 days ^~^

In the meantime I can share a little tip about snails that I really want people to know: if you want to handle a snail (which I totally get, they are after all very slimy and cute) it's important that you DO NOT pick them up by the shell. This can hurt them a great deal (yes I know I'm one to talk considering I straight up dropped on but I'm feeling really bad about it okay?) and it is better to just gently let them slime their way onto your hand.

If anyone has any name suggestions for him, I would love to hear them! I figure he needs a proper name now considering he will be staying here with me for a while ^w^

[cattimeswithjellie]

Pearl the Wild Canary

Jimmy may well end up reprising his usual canary role this season, but the evidence for my theory that Pearl has caught a touch of the curse is continuing to build up. We call Jimmy the canary because his death tends to herald the beginning of the endgame, but in real life history, canaries were used to suss out very specific dangers, not just "this is a dangerous place."

Every death Pearl has had so far in Wild Life has showcased a specific hidden danger inherent to the wildcard of the week. Not that she has been the first to die of the wildcard, but that she has died of something related to the wildcard that people otherwise wouldn't have known was dangerous.

Session One: Big/Small Wildcard. Pearl did not die of getting trapped or clipping or suffocating or anything like that. Her death revealed the hidden danger that players could no longer crouch on ledges.

Session Two: Food Randomization Wildcard: Pearl didn't starve to death or die of poison. Her death revealed the hidden danger that players who are hungry cannot block with shields.

Session Three: Snails Chase You Wildcard: Pearl didn't get snuck up on or dropped in on by her snail. Her death revealed the hidden danger that snails can instamine to hit players even through walls.

I don't know how long this trend is going to continue, or what it's going to mean for Pearl's longevity in the series. I was initially worried she might only last six sessions at most, but after this week I will be happy if the entire series manages to get to six sessions, so she might be just fine! Either way, Pearl's teammates and enemies alike would do well to keep an eye on her at the start of each session, because there's valuable info to be learned.

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Kinktober Special Part 10 (+18)

SOMEONE REQUESTED THIS AND I HAD TO. (OK so would this ever happen in canon? no. do I care? also no. this is fun and pretend on the internet idk)

The Crew’s Whore (Part 10) (+18)

Summary: You are the former owner of the Grand Line’s most popular brothel. Your powerful fighting abilities got the attention of the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. He had asked you to join their crew but what would you bring to the team? Your battle skills were hardly comparable to many of the other Straw Hats… but you actually had a great skill. Your years working as a high end escort had prepared you to become the private plaything for this pirate crew. You joined the Straw Hats as their personal sex toy.

Pairing: Red Hair Shanks x Straw Hat F!Reader

WC: 3700 what the fuck lmao

TWs: unprotected sex, p in v sex, face riding, oral sex, teasing, fingering, alcohol consumption, hot passionate lovemaking idk. 

— — 

You don’t know how you ended up here, scared out of your wits.

Okay… maybe you do know exactly why you were here, but it didn’t make you any less terrified. Your captain once again got you into a life-threatening predicament, but this time it was one you had to face alone. 

You take a deep breath and smooth the fabric of your red velvet wrapped gown over your stomach. You shake your long hair down your back and square your shoulders. 

Your heels click across the strong wood as you go to cross the gang plank to the adjacent ship. 

— — 

(3 hours earlier)

“No seriously, I heard if you rub the mucus from the transponder snails all over your skin you look 10 years younger.” Robin said as she leaned up against the railing of the Thousand Sunny on her elbows. 

“I don’t really think I want to look 11…” Nami said back as she picked at the dirt under her fingernails. 

“Is Luffy back yet? I can’t stand the suspense anymore! I just know he’s going to blow us all to smithereens!” Usopp butts his head in-between the two girls as they watched the Red Force docked across from the Sunny, no sign of their captain yet. 

“Don’t you think if Shanks’ crew was going to vaporize us they’d have done it immediately?” Sanji grunts with a cigarette dangling from his spit soaked bottom lip. No one thought he was listening as he sat on a barrel with you leaned up against it between his legs. He had a seashell comb in his right hand that he used to braid your hair. 

“You make a good point… but I don’t think we should settle in just yet. He’s arguably the most powerful man in the world. We should be lucky we aren’t gore at the bottom of the ocean being eaten by mantis shrimp.” Your eyes flutter open at the conversation, you had been so relaxed by Sanji’s delicate brushing of your tresses. 

“DO YOU REALLY THINK WE’RE GONNA BE EATEN IN THE OCEAN Y/N?” Chopper scrambles across the deck, tears in his eyes, and lands in your lap as you sat on the deck of the Sunny. 

You pat his hat. 

“Maybe!” You chuckle. 

Chopper starts to sob. 

“Alright who made Chopper cry?” Zoro comes out of the kitchen with a hefty bottle of sake in one hand. 

“I was just being honest, love.” You say to the already slightly drunk swordsman. 

“You’ve gotta stop doing that shit you know he’s-“ The green haired man begins to scold you. 

“HEEEEY!!! HEY GUYS!!!”

Everyone’s head whips towards the source of the yelling. 

Luffy bounds towards the Sunny and opts to stretch his arms and catapult himself onto the deck instead of using the gang plank. 

Chopper hops immediately up out of your lap and runs to clutch Luffy’s legs. 

“Luffy how are we gonna die? Is he gonna cut us up into a million pieces or-“ The poor reindeer snivels through violent sobs.

“Huh? Who? Shanks?” Luffy looked confused before he broke into a smile. “Ha ha! No, Shanks is my friend! We were just catching up! You guys are weird haha.” 

There was a collective sigh released across the deck. 

“Yeah he’s totally cool. He’s setting out in the morning. I offered to have Sanji cook us all a big feast, but he said he’s rather have y/n for the night instead. More food for us!” Luffy giggled. 

“WHAT?” You stood up from the deck. “You offered my services to the most deadly man in the seas without asking first?” You storm up to your captain. 

“Yeah? He’s nice, y/n! Heh heh you’ll like him a lot! I promise!” 

— — 

So here you were. You slinked across the deck of the Red Force towards the captain’s quarters, trying to stay unnoticed. You thought you were being inconspicuous until the door to what you assumed was the galley swung open and bathed your cloaked figured in bright light. Two men, drunk in arms, stopped in their tracks when they saw you. 

“Oye! It’s the Straw Hat girl! She’s ‘ere for the captain!” The much larger of the two men said as he gestured towards you with a beer bottle. 

The smaller man with long, dreadlocked hair ushered him along. 

“Yeah yeah leave ‘em be.” He said as he held up his drunk crew mate to their quarters. “Hey, tell my boy I say hi, alright?” The pirate said over his shoulder as he let you pass the two of them to continue towards the captain’s room. 

“Aye… Aye I can do that.” You say shakily. 

“Good, now have fun tonight! Don’t hurt ya’ self!” The long haired pirate who bared a striking resemblance to a friend of yours called as he disappeared out of sight. 

You regained your composure and straightened your dress before you continued to the belly of the ship. You walked down two sets of stairs before reaching a hallway with a singular door. You were given no chance to back out because the door opened as soon as your foot hit the bottom stair. 

“Y/n, welcome.” Red Haired Shanks stood clutching a doorknob and waving you towards him with a smile. You froze. You hadn’t knocked. He knew you were coming long before you got here. Such power. But his smile seemed so.. normal?

“Everything okay, y/n?” He calls at you. You snapped out of your daze.

“Yes! Sorry!” You hurriedly enter his private quarters and he shuts the door behind you. It was luxurious for a pirate, but nothing over the top. He had a full bar with a loveseat on one end and king sized bed with red velvet sheets on the other. You had to chuckle at the dated decor, you were forgetting he was well over 10 years your senior. 

Shanks moves past you after locking the door and heads to the bar. He grips a bottle of wine and tips it towards you in question. 

“Can I pour you a drink?” Shanks asks. 

“I-um, yes. Yes thank you.” You eventually get out. 

Shanks carefully pours each of you a large glass of red wine. He hands you a glass and beckons for you to join him on the loveseat. He was so large in stature that you were in the corner with your legs crossed so you didn’t encroach on his space. 

“My friend and your captain says you are the hottest little thing on the Grand Line… you have something to say about that?” He says playfully from across the couch. 

“I-I’d say you’d have to try it yourself, captain.” You try to make yourself sound confident but there was no use. This man could pulverize you and everyone you love in five seconds if he wanted to… and yet here he was lighting candles and pouring you wine. 

“Drink.” Shanks motions for you to drink your wine as he lifts his own heavy pour to his lips. You oblige and take a few large gulps of wine before settling your glass in your lap again. 

“Why are you afraid of me?” Shanks breaks the silence. 

“I-I’m n-“ Your eyes threatened to bug out of your skull.

“And don’t lie because I’ll know.” Shanks smirks at you from across the loveseat. “Tell me what’s bothering you. I have no interest in laying with someone who isn’t all here. I would just like to know what’s frightening you, little one?” Shanks takes another sip of his wine. 

“Y-you’re just very powerful. I’ve never felt like this before with anyone… I-I can’t explain it…” You look down into your wine glass and take a gulp. You couldn’t meet Shanks’ gaze. 

“I won’t hurt you…” Shanks gets up from his seat and you tense up. “But maybe we should get to know each other better first so you actually believe me…” Shanks returns to his position across from you, this time dragging over a small table and a deck of cards. “Let’s play, every hand you win you get to ask a question and the other has to answer truthfully. And drink, of course.” 

You relax a bit and cock your head. You place your empty wine glass down on the table. 

“You better get the bottle then.” You smirk. 

Shanks smiles and pours the two of you full glasses. He then deals you your first round of cards. To your misfortune you lose the first hand. 

“Alright then… you still think I’m going to kill you, don’t you?” Shanks almost chuckles as the words leave his mouth. 

“Yes.” You respond immediately. You take a drink. 

Shanks sighs and deals another hand. You thought for a moment if you should offer to deal the cards, seeing as it might go faster… but Shanks struck you as a man who liked to be in control so you kept your mouth shut. 

“Listen, sweet pea, you’re worth a lot more alive than you are dead from what I’ve heard about you… So you have nothing to worry about.” Shanks says as he lays out his hand. “Oh dear it seems I’ve won again. Less morose questions, perhaps?”

You toss your losing cards back to the center of the table. 

“Have you ever had a fishman?” Shanks asks. 

You choke a bit on the wine you had just sipped. A smile spreads across the pirates face, his eyes glistening with childlike mischief even through his scarred flesh. He really was quite handsome…

“Sorry… too forward?” He asks. 

“Not at all.” You chuckle after catching your breath. People always asked you about that once they learned of your line of work. . “Yes I have.” 

“What’s it like? I’ve always been curious but never had the opportunity…” Shanks asks with genuine interest. 

“I think you’re supposed to win another hand if you want to ask another question.” You lay your winning hand on the table and smirk. “My turn. Who’s your one that got away? Everyone like you has a lost love.” 

“Oh I wouldn’t call it lost… they’re very much still in the picture. Someone I’ve known since I was young. I still have hope, in the end, but we’ll see. He’s just-“ Shanks explains as he deals more cards. 

“He?” You interject. 

“Is that another question?” Shanks playfully raises an eyebrow

“No.” You recall your inquisition. 

“Good, seeing as I’ve won again.” Shanks collects the cards again. “Now, is the two cocks thing true?”

“Of course it is. But only for the shark fishmen. It’s intimidating at first, but when you’ve been doing my job for this long you learn how to handle it.” You smile into your wine glass cheekily before taking a sip. 

“I have no doubt you excel at your job. It’s simply pleasure enough to get to spend the evening with a beautiful woman with such-“   Shanks’ eyes flick down to where your wrapped velvet gown was opening in the front, exposing your cleavage. He looks back up to meet your gaze. “Breathtaking features.” 

You can’t help but giggle. His hungry eyes on you somehow made you feel more at ease… all men truly are the same. It’s incredible that they call it a man’s world when the strongest of them all can be tamed by the promise of pussy. 

“Looks like I’ve won this one, Red Hair.” You splay your cards on the worn wooden table. “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you recently?” You ask. 

“I don’t get embarrassed!” Shanks answers far too quickly and defensively for your liking. You cock your head with skepticism. “Fine. Last week one of my crew mates came up to me in celebration asking for a double high five.” Shanks sighs. 

You didn’t understand why it was embarrassing at first, but when you looked at his torso and were reminded he only had one arm you short laughed so hard that you had to bring your hands up to your face. 

“Oh gods I’m sorry I shouldn’t laugh.” You try to regain your composure. 

“No no I promise it’s quite alright!” Shanks grins and plays another losing hand. “It’s funny now that my bruised ego is healed.” 

“So my turn again. When you’re with men do you top or bottom?” The wine must have really been affecting you to even consider asking an emperor such a question. 

Shanks smiles again. 

“Let me ask you this…” Shanks peruses his hand of cards, slipping them deftly between his calloused fingers. “If I take you to a candy shop and I say, ‘now you can only have the peppermint sweets’ how terrible would that be? You’d have to pass up on the chocolate sweets, the strawberry sweets, and sweets you’ve never even imagined. Who wants to live like that?” Shanks lays his winning hand down on the table with a smug grin. “Would you like to come sit on my lap, y/n?” 

You nod silently before you finish your drink and set the massive wine glass down on the table. You rise to your feet. Shanks uses his one hand to pat his left high, spreading his legs so you could slot between them. 

“Plenty of room on this side now.” Shanks winks as you sit down on his lap. He raises his right hand towards your face slowly but suddenly stop as if he’s realized something. “Can I touch you?” He asks as he looks in your eye. The sheer power emanating from his body no longer frightened you, but drew you in and made you feel your heartbeat below your waist. 

“Yes, you can touch me.” You affirm, looking Shanks in the eye. You give him a soft smile. 

“Wow… Luffy wasn’t kidding. You really are gorgeous…” Shanks compliments you as he touches your face gently to brush your hair out of your eyes. He was getting a better look at you. “Really just so fucking pretty…” He kisses your cheek before you feel his hand working at the tie of your dress. “Help me a bit, sweet pea? Wanna see all of you.” 

You blush hard and fumble with your dress enough to spread it open, exposing your nude form. 

“Absolutely beautiful…” Shanks coos as he slides his hand down your chest and cups one of your breasts in his strong grip. He kneads it for a bit and you relax into his touch. He pinches your nipple and you jolt forward, almost losing your balance on Shanks’ lap. 

“Hold onto me, baby, it’s okay.” Shanks brings your arm up to wrap around his neck before continuing fondling your body. His hand finally reached to cup your mound, pressing his fingers flat against your wet lips. You hid your head in the crook of his neck and whimpered. 

“I can feel you throbbing, honey, why didn’t you just say something?” He nudges you with his chin to prompt you to come out of hiding in his neck. “Huh? It’s okay. You should have told me it was this bad…” Shanks starts swiping his fingers through your folds, taking a moment to circle your clit a few times with each upwards stroke along your pussy. 

“I-I just…” Lust had clouded your brain and you could no longer form a coherent thought. A few moments ago you were holding your own against the emperor in a game of cards but now you were completely helpless in his grasp. Shanks slips two digits inside your soaked hole, you gasp out loudly and your arms around his neck tighten. 

“Oh!” You yelp as he tentatively pushes his fingers in and out of you, stretching you and working you up. 

“It’s okay… I'm gonna help you with this okay?” Shanks pushes his two fingers into you again and keeps them inside. He pulls upwards on his fingers once and you instinctively squeal and try to close your legs. “Theeeere it is. Keep those legs open, doll, I’m gonna make you cum now.” He immediately begins hammering his fingers into your favorite spot. 

“AH!” You cry out and your shoulders lurch forward, you slam your eyes shut, the sensation overwhelming you. You moan out as he physically pulls a wet, screaming orgasm out of you with his hand. 

“Good girl! That’s better, huh?” Shanks coos at you as he pulls his fingers out of you and rubs gently at your pussy with his whole palm as if to say ‘good job, champ.’ Shanks quickly lifts you into the air and lets your dress fall to the floor. He sets you to sit on the bed and starts removing his clothing. 

You decided this was something you could help with and start undoing his belt and pants. Shanks slips off his boots and sheds his torso of his jacket and shirt. You move to lay down on the bed, figuring he could shed the rest of his clothes himself. 

“Ah ah ah, don’t get comfortable sweet pea.” Shanks scolds you playfully and you finally get a full view of his body. His olive skin was scarred but beautifully tanned, and his cock was so impressive that you noticed it far before you noticed his missing arm. “You’re going to ride my face.” 

“Oh I am, am I?" You hop up onto your knees on the bed, making room for Shanks to lay down.

“You are because if I don’t get to taste this wet little cunny in the next few minutes I might die.” Shanks lays on his back and grips your waist to help pull you towards his face. “Now sit.” He yanks you down onto his waiting mouth and holds you in place with his arm wrapped around you. 

“Fuck! Shanks!” You cry out as his lips latch around your clit. “Oh my god!” You lean forward instinctively and grip the headboard. You find your body involuntarily rocking against Shanks’ tongue and lips, somehow desperately chasing another high. 

Shanks laps now at your hole, trying to taste more of you straight from the source. 

“So fuckin’ sweet… No wonder they won’t let you go…” Shanks slurps messily against your cunt and moans deeply. “My gods, taste so fuckin’ good…”

 You toss your head back and moan, feeling yourself approaching orgasm again so quickly after your last one. 

“Yes- fuck- just like that, please!” You grind your hips harder onto Shanks’ face. 

“Let go, cum on me baby girl, come on, you can do it…” Shanks mutters into your sex as eagerly devours you, wanting you to finish just as much as you did yourself. 

With a final harsh suck to your clit, you release onto Shanks’ waiting face. He pulls off your sensitive bud but continues lapping at your folds, trying to taste every last drop of the essence leaving your body. Once satisfied from tasting you, Shanks pulls you down his body to sit on his lap. 

He pushes the two of you put he bed so his back is against the headboard and you’re seated comfortably on his lap, wet cunt soaking his member pressed against his abdomen. He was thick and uncut, just the way you like them. 

You move your hips to hover over his pelvis as you allow him to line his leaking cock up with your entrance. Delirious from your orgasms, you eagerly impale yourself on his cock fully and let out a choked cry. Shanks chuckles and pushes your hair out of your face to hold your chin in his hand. 

“Oh baby that was so good! You took it all so good.” He smiles at you. 

You nod and start to grind your hips onto him, your eyes falling closed at the delicious friction. Shanks leans up and starts leaving bites and sucks on your neck, he grips your hips tightly in his hand to guide your grinding on top of him. He plants his feet and is able to thrust inside of you. 

“What a fucking goddess you are, y/n… fuck you feel so fuckin’ good…” 

You were feeling bashful at his praise… like he wasn’t buried balls deep inside of you right now. It was clear from his languid pace and his attention to your needs that he didn’t want to fuck you. He wanted to make love to you. 

You continue to ride Shanks and he nibbled and sucked at your breasts while continuously spilling words of praise and admiration about your pussy and how well it takes his cock. 

“So good, sweat pea, come on and make yourself cum on me, just use me baby it’s okay…” Shanks mumbled into your spit soaked nipple. You whimper and move your hips faster, feeling your walls start to spasm. “Yes there it is, come on…” 

“SHANKS!” You cry out the captain’s name as you fall apart completely on his thick cock. You felt completely boneless as the aftershocks of your mammoth orgasm wore off. 

“Gonna fill you, love, just take it…” Shanks grunts as he obviously approaches his climax. 

“Y-yes-“ You could barely squeak out, so beyond overstimulated. 

With an animalistic growl, Shanks empties himself inside of you entirely. You whine and wiggle on his lap as you feel the floods of cum seep from your hole along the sides of his cock. 

Shanks pulls your body into his by your shoulder and you collapse into his broad chest. He pulls out of you and lays you both of your side. After a few moments of gentle touches and pillow talk, you rise to collect your things. 

“You’re not staying?” The pirate captain asked. 

“You’re leaving port in the morning.” You replied. 

“I know. I’m asking if you’ll stay with me. Here.” Shanks asks. 

You smile as you throw on your velvet dress. You approach Shanks’ nude body on the bed. You cup his jaw. 

“I am loyal to my captain.” You say with a smile. 

“After all that, you’re still loyal to your captain?” Shanks refutes, sitting up in bed now. 

“Of course. What good is a crew if they aren’t loyal to their captain?” You say playfully as you approach the door of the bedroom. 

“Gods that only makes me want you more.” Shanks smirks. 

“Best of luck to you, Red Haired Shanks.” You wink and you retreat back to your home ship. 

[woncon]

part one: the sunscreen master

pairing: poly!stray kids x gn!reader

A day at the beach with your eight chaotic boyfriends.

genre: mini-series, fluff, suggestive, crack/humor, summer fic, established relationship, polyamory, a day on the beach

warnings: jisung dreams about priest jeongin (he's lucky), men compete for chest groping, sunscreen, like a lot, one twilight-reference

word count: 4.1K

a/n: shoutout to @honeytwo for her work with this big chunk of words. thank you! 💗

also, don't get sunburned, guys. protection is important.

summer go loco / stray kids mlist [part 2] / [part 3]

It was a warm day. Very warm. The sun decided to stay true to the lines of ZEROBASEONE's Sweat. Oh, baby, I'll make you sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat.

Chan got the fan out for you to use. He took it into the living room where most of you were gathered.

Jeongin was mopping his forehead with his T-shirt, Minho was fanning himself with his tank top, Jisung was twisting and settling in one of the armchairs in agony, and you were deep in thought about taking off your shorts or not. When the four of you spotted the sweaty Chan's acquisition, you burst out in grateful sighs and cheers.

"Hyung, you’re a god!"

"I love you!"

"I'll marry you!"

Chan smiled modestly and embarrassed, plugging the instrument in, which flooded the room with cold air.

Jisung crawled closer to the cold airwaves that came from the fan on the carpet and lay down in front of it, grinning in satisfaction. His wet skin clung to the soft material like he was a lifeless snail, but he didn't seem to mind. In the meantime, Chan occupied the vacated chair. And he clung to its fabric. Clinging was an universal factor that day.

The euphoric sound just heard made the rest of the guys curious, as they sought to get some refreshing, less stuffy air through the bedroom window. They peered into the living room and decided to stay. After all, it's easier to stand in front of a fan with a rotating head than to squeeze in a group at the window. Hyunjin threw himself down on the sofa next to Jeongin, Felix chose the other armchair and Seungmin lay on top of you who were on the sofa. You all squeaked in chorus.

"Y-you're heavy, Min hyung." Jeongin tried not to die. Seungmin grunted an offended growl, and rolled over so that his buttocks were against the speaker's stomach.

Changbin soon appeared as well. Shirtless, might I add, so that everyone could thoroughly admire the panorama of his upper body down to his waistline. He thought it would be funny to tease Jisung, so he climbed on top of the boy lying in peace and tickled him.

"Hey, stop it! Bin! Hey! CHANGBIN!"

Everyone watched the events with interest. Would there be a tickle fight? And if not, will Jisung retaliate for his treatment? You were so focused that your grip on Seungmin's legs loosened. He was also wearing shorts and sweating. Those legs almost slipped out of your grip.

Jisung laughed as he struggled until Changbin finally let go. In revenge, Jisung elbowed the giggling individual in the side and then fled to the opposite side of the rug.

It occurred to you that it would be a lot easier to hold Seungmin in water, you'd just have to slap him on a floatie and push him. Then the perfect idea came to you.

"How about we go for a swim?"

There were no objections - not like a few days ago when Changbin was hungry at 2am and begged someone to walk him down to the convenience store for chocolate milk and buns. You agreed to take a dip in the nearby lake. Once the decision was made, you left the living room to get ready. The last to leave turned off the heroic fan.

Minho and Seungmin were responsible for the floaties, you for the sunscreen, Chan for the slippers, Jeongin for the bathing gear, Felix for the groceries, Hyunjin for the towels, and Jisung for the sunglasses. You were ready in fifteen minutes, all of you in the car while your stuff was in the trunk.

And your group was on the way.

Many of you took a nap during the drive. Even Jisung was tired from the active torture of the heat. For a while you memorized the names of the villages and towns you passed through, during this activity you leaned your head against the window, but Changbin, who was lying next to you, put his arm around your shoulders and hugged you when he noticed that you were asleep. He wrapped an arm over the boy on his other side, too. The lucky guy was Jisung, who was mewling contentedly, because everyone is happy to have their face pressed against Changbin's chest, the best sleeping pillows in the world. Changbin also fell asleep to the soothing sound of the engine.

Six of them stayed awake. Chan, the driver, Felix the DJ, Minho who caressed Jeongin's hair, Jeongin who played on his phone, Seungmin who was eating a sandwich, and Hyunjin who was snacking on Seungmin's food to annoy him - in a very loving, quiet way of course, as to not disturb Chan's driving.

After you arrived, getting out the car was a difficult process. Not because you were out of the mood for swimming, as it was just as blistering hot as before, but because many of you stepped out onto the concrete of the parking lot half asleep. In a sticky half-asleep, stretching-yawning state.

Felix and Seungmin supported the dazed Jisung. The boy told them his dream about his wedding with Chan and Minho, which was greeted with smiles, although Felix was not pleased that he had become a bridesmaid - but rather that he had kissed the priest, Jeongin, and one of the witnesses, you, before the ceremony.

Changbin couldn't get out of the car. He tried, but with a sniff, he fell again and again on your shoulder. Finally, the kisses and wake-up monologues of others who had already woken up got him out.

You, meanwhile, whined in your seat.

"Hmn, twenty more minutes! Or ten. I'll settle for five..." you begged until Minho was lying on your chest, having given up on your wake-up call. From there, you were tied down to being a good support and stroking his soft locks.

Seungmin tried to similarly lean into your chest from the opposite side once Minho had given up on pushing you out of the car, but you slapped him on the arm with an angry face. You muttered about trespassers in the hills of your chest.

"I didn't mean that way!" defended Seungmin. He fell silent when you laughed.

"It was just a joke. C’mere!"

Seungmin rolled his eyes, but snuggled up to you anyway. You now had two boys on either side of you. They blocked the way for the others to get to you. It wasn't how you'd originally planned it, but it was a diabolical plan to buy you some more time to sleep.

You have not taken into account the danger of the previous row of seats. Chan grinned as he squeezed between the two seats, grabbed your cheek and covered you with cupping kisses. You'd have been a fool to resist, even if he had your full attention, and you were being pushed further and further away from your dream. Thanks to Chan's skilled wake-up technique, within minutes you were outside in the blazing sun, missing the coolness of the air conditioning. At least you were awake and remembered why you came: to take a dip.

You were ready to start the next phase: going ashore, also known as beaching, as it's more pleasant. The circus consisted of uninflated floaties, containers of food, drinks, bathing suits, towels, bags, and a few blankets.

Jisung complained that the air conditioning froze his legs and he couldn't feel his toes in his solid black slippers, so he ended up with the props in his hands on Seungmin's back, needless to say, very contentedly.

Jeongin went his own way: he went the wrong way about three times. When Chan got tired of calling the poor guy, he took his hand to stop him from wandering off.

Hyunjin paused every few minutes because he didn't want to wait until everyone was camped out, he wanted to wear the designer, heart-shaped sunglasses he got from you for his birthday last year. Finally, with Minho's help, he fished them out and put them on his nose with a satisfied smile.

"Well, now everyone will be looking at you..." Minho hummed appreciatively.

Hearing that, you almost dropped the hand pump you were entrusted with. Thanks to Felix's proximity and quick reaction, that didn't happen. You threw your head back and cast a suspicious glance at the boys who were seeking the attention of others. Felix also made a surprised face.

"You guys are everyone, stop looking at me like that!" Minho snorted mockingly.

"And your attention is perfectly enough," Hyunjin added.

"Very good." You turned back with an angelic smile. Felix let Hyunjin hug his shoulders, so you concluded that he wasn't angry either.

Changbin was still a sleepy zombie when his stomach started to growl.

"I'm hungry!" he announced with a grimace, and he stumbled over to Felix, who had the food bag. Felix patted him on the head and promised to feed him as soon as they were settled. In the meantime, he left him in your care, and you expertly tried to distract him by talking about everything that wasn't food-related.

You found a cute grassy area where you could spread out like little rascally donkeys and where you didn't disturb other beachgoers peace. Everyone set down the things they had carried with small sighs. Seungmin made the loudest noise as Jisung's slippers hit the ground and he was able to straighten up properly again.

Felix fished out a chocolate croissant for Changbin in the heat of the moment the bag hit the ground. Changbin ate it with grateful passion.

You took turns getting dressed in the changing rooms set up for the purpose. The more refined ones had already put on their swimming clothes at home, but you, for example, had a dressing-room circuit, which you quickly did to help with the beach chores.

For example, you put one blanket on the grass, then another, then a third. You always had to take into account that on a nice day, everyone goes out to sunbathe, and in this case you need a lot of space. Your huge bedroom bed could tell a lot about this (the mattress shop owner was stunned when Minho shared the required size with him. The guy said that he had never been asked for a mattress that big, but he would comply. And he did indeed put together a mattress that is about the size of two California king beds.)

You threw out the towels for the soft stuff, and got your own sunglasses. You put them on with pride. With your swimwear, complete with your mango patterned t-shirt, you had the perfect summer image. And to make the summer vibe even more appropriate, you felt you were sweating quite a bit and needed to get in the water as soon as possible or you'd end up in a puddle and that would be the end of you. All you'd have left would be your clothes and sunglasses.

You had to splash as soon as possible.

Of course, who the hell wants to splash alone when you've got eight hot boyfriends, so you set about preparing those hot boyfriends for the water: slathering them with sunscreen. It was the most rewarding task you'd ever attempted on the beach. You got a knot in your stomach as you grabbed the sunscreen from one of the bags. You squeezed a squirt into the palm of your hand. The pleasant, soft scent reminded you again that this is what sunshine could smell like.

Jisung and Seungmin have already started getting half-naked. Seungmin was still aching at his waist, and Jisung was stroking the sore area guiltily. You picked them as the first victims.

"If we give it a massage, will it help?" you asked Seungmin, smiling, and held up your sunscreened palm.

The boy nodded. You gave some of the cream to Jisung as well, and together you gently squeezed the likely stuck area. You worked very co-ordinated, like a real team. As your palms pressed up to spread the sunscreen all over the spine and shoulder blades, Jisung stroked the cream into Seungmin's waist.

Felix got up from beside Changbin to help with the 'smear Seungmin' project.

"Better now?" he asked gently, pressing a kiss to the nodding boy's forehead. He, too, got cream, which he smeared all over the other's neck, chest and abdominal wall. Seungmin closed his eyes and the soft moans turned to sighs as his three lovers gave his body pleasant touches. Seungmin was just like that: teasing everyone, usually not asking for touches because when you touched him, he simply melted.

You planted a kiss on his forehead, then gave Felix a sweetly cheeky look.

"Strip, baby!"

"Your wish is my command."

In that moment Hyunjin looked up, pumping the mattress with greater vehemence at the sight, even causing his glasses to slide down the tip of his nose.

You rubbed Felix's nicely arched back, with Seungmin helping from the front. Jisung was the next, whom you left in the care of the others. You yourself sat on the blanket with Changbin. He was still snacking there.

"Want some?" He offered his last two bites. You nodded.

Changbin fed you with care, as your hands were fit for nothing but sticky groping. You used them on Changbin appropriately, massaging his shoulder blades as well. You also devoted a lot of time to his huge biceps, to prevent them from sunburn. And as with the first chest you touched that day, well, you spent a lot of time there too. All up by those muscular tits, all up by that worked-out, hard, drool-inducing abs. You were careful, of course, knowing that Changbin's chest was a sensitive area.

The boy kissed your cheek. You smiled lovingly at him, and it was as if you were alone. But not anymore. A tired body, Jeongin, happened to fall on the blanket next to you with his arms outstretched. He was followed by a black tank top, which fell next to his head. Not his own, he was wearing his t-shirt. You looked up, and Minho was standing over you. Half naked, holding out his hand.

"Sunscreen, please." He had quite many beads of sweat on him, but at least one of the mats was ready. Chan was getting the next one prepared for the next pump.

You didn't let Changbin take the tube from you. In truth, you yourself found it hard not to comply with Minho's every wish when he looked down on you like that, but you persisted because there are limits. You just happened to be the sunscreen master that day or something. You didn't want to pass up the opportunity to grope.

"As if." You scrambled to your feet and held your palms ready for action again. In fact, you curled your fingers to make the message even clearer: get the boobs here!

And with that, you got down to work. You were really into it. Minho's muscles under your skin were hypnotizing you. What a great thing sunscreen was! You noticed how sexy Minho's sideways smile and the look in his eyes were, even though he was laughing at you.

"I need to make sure your belly doesn't burn, okay?"

"Okay," he shrugged. "Enjoy yourself."

"I don't–" The look on Minho's face as he poked his cheek with his tongue drowned out your words. You sighed in surrender. "I might be enjoying myself. But anyone else would do it if they were me!"

As if to confirm your words, Changbin stared longingly at Minho from the blanket.

"What is it, cutie? You want to smear me too?" asked Minho in a mournful voice.

Changbin nodded enthusiastically. You didn't want to deprive him of the opportunity to touch Minho. You were a fair and loving sunscreen master after all. You helped him stand up, then pressed some cream on his hands. You watched with pride as he rubbed his palms together, then placed them on Minho's shoulders. You must have looked like a contented matchmaker, smiling and hugging the sunscreen.

The matchmaker, however, did not expect to be grabbed at the hips out of nowhere and pulled backwards so that the owner of the hands could drop his chin on their shoulder and then roll up the bottom of their shirt.

"And who's going to smear you?" Hyunjin asked.

And, whoosh, he'd already pulled the shirt off you, and there you were, wearing nothing but your bathing equipment. Changbin whistled appreciatively, then returned to rub Minho all over.

"What's with the passion?" you blinked in disbelief.

"I just wish to have the honor." His made-for-brush fingers plucked the tube from your hand, and you could hear the hissing sound of splashing sunscreen. You took the bottle back to grip it. You had to grab it when Hyunjin touched you.

Hyunjin did it in an understanding way. His hands worked your sleeping back, you could not help sighing in delight. You were almost dizzy on the blanket

"Don't stop..." you begged.

It turned out that you can enhance the pleasure. As soon as Changbin finished with Minho, the latter stepped in front of you. He squeezed himself some sunscreen to smear on your side. His thumb slowly worked its way around your hip. It made your eyeslashes flutter and your thighs tremble.

Hyunjin noticed the change immediately, scrunched you up jealously, pulled you to him, and gave Minho a defiant look.

"Mine."

Those nearby cried out at this bold statement.

"All I have to do is hold my toe differently and my slipper will smack you in the forehead, you selfish hyung!" warned Jeongin, lifting his foot at a really threatening angle.

"I mean, I'll smear them," Hyunjin corrected.

"You wish, pretty boy," Minho replied.

You've established that there was chest inflation. Yours has become quite a valuable piece of land. But as long as you have a say, you're not going to let these two fight it out.

"Guys–" you started, but Jeongin's dedicated shouting interrupted you.

"Hyung! Don't start pumping! You just blew the biggest one. You need to rest!"

Chan had indeed planned to do everything himself. Felix, Jisung and Seungmin had undertaken to relieve him of pumping, but as it happened, he was adamant and kept pumping.

"I can put the cream on myself!" Taking advantage of the commotion, you stepped away from the two competing gentlemen and smeared the cream left on your hands on your belly to prove it.

"Will you put some on me, please?" Jeongin raised his hand.

Well, you couldn't say no, so you took the opportunity, and the bottle, kneeling down next to him. Jeongin usually bathed in a T-shirt. This time he didn't indicate that he would have wanted it any other way, so you didn't even attempt to take off his shirt, and just squeezed enough cream on your slick palms to cover his face, neck and arms. You took a peaceful seat beside him and began to cover his exposed body parts.

Jeongin stroked your wrist first. His face turned innocently towards the sun, his eyes closed. You got caught up in the thorough work. Suddenly, you found his palms sliding all the way to your shoulders, not planning to stop, reaching your neck. Jeongin was already looking at you. You blinked questioningly into those beautiful, deep brown eyes, but they didn't reveal much.

Meanwhile, his long fingers touched your collarbone and didn't hesitate to go lower. Your eyes widened, blushing, you wanted to pull away, for you had planned to be fair and cover that area yourself. True, you had your back to the majority of the others, but still.

"Easy, baby. I'm not smearing you... I'm just touching you," he whispered, a sly smile forming on his lips.

It was as if Jeongin had read your mind. He was mindblowing. You had just put the white material on his forearm, and Jeongin touched you even more boldly. You enjoyed it. Of course you did when Jeongin touched you, but you also resented that he had played the others like that. Your resolve was also ruined. Before this groping could get out of hand, you let go of him and turned to the junction where most of your boys were.

"I changed my mind." Damn, fine, you thought. If they want to fight, they'll get it. "Whoever kisses Innie first gets to cream the front of me."

Jeongin shouted in surprise. He threw himself to the side when Changbin knelt down like a knight to attempt a kiss. Jeongin couldn't rest afterwards, he struggled into a stance as Minho darted towards him. Jeongin was forced to run away. He ran as if his life depended on it. He left both his slippers behind.

But he couldn't leave the others.

"Innie, it's only a kiss," Jisung persuaded him.

"Stick your soft cheek in here, let me give you a smooch!" cooed Changbin, as if the contest was to see who could embarrass the fleeing boy more than catch him.

"Leave me alone! I don't want your spit!"

He rounded a tree and immediately Hyunjin and Felix were about to attack him from two sides. With a frustrated battle cry, he backed away from the dudes charging towards him. He ran for a new route along the grassy bank. He couldn't go to the sandy bank, he would hurt his feet. His escape options were greatly reduced without his slippers. And he was alone against seven dedicated boys, who loved to baby him anyway.

"Innie-ah," Seungmin laughed as he framed Jeongin. "Stop running."

Jeongin didn't listen. In utter desperation, he jumped barefoot onto the gravel path. His face was writhing with a pained expression. Watching him from a distance, each step seemed to be like stepping over tiny pieces of lego. You both appreciated his perseverance and pitied his suffering. Perhaps you shouldn't have exposed him to this... What you didn't expect was that, after he'd been so eager to touch you, he wouldn't let the others get romantically close to him even for a second.

Chan rushed to his rescue, carrying Jeongin's slippers. He put them in front of him and even knelt down to help him get into them.

"Does it hurt much?" asked Chan, looking up at the persistent boy.

"Not anymore," Jeongin replied quietly. He had lost his fighting spirit at Chan's chivalrous gesture, and the others hadn't approached him since Chan appeared with the protective footwear.

When Chan stood up, Jeongin whispered something in his ear. Too far away to hear, in any case, Chan's face brightened at what he heard. The next moment, he pressed a light kiss on Jeongin's cheek.

The losers erupted in an ovation of dissatisfied voices. They huffed, pouted, grumbled, but there was nothing to be done. Chan had clearly won the contest. Now he could smear, and he could also come smearing, like a loaf of bread waiting for butter.

Chan sat down next to you and smiled, squeezing some sunscreen onto his palm. He was blushing so sweetly, and working so hard - driving, pumping and pumping, even getting the fan out - that it seemed to you that the others had softened in his direction and returned to their pre-race activities. In other words, pumping to the death.

"Come closer, Edward," you said to Chan, who was thoroughly prepared for your smearing.

"Edward?" he made a puzzled face.

"Look at you," you pointed. "You shine in the sunlight like a Twilight vampire!"

"Yeah!" Chan giggled. It was music to the ears.

He stroked your stomach first, quite affectionately. He didn't rush anywhere, moving over your skin with careful, soft touches. Then he pressed his creamy hand to your chest, softly caressing the white material there.

"Done! And I've only aged five years doing it," Seungmin reported as he released the hand pump. The last mattress was successfully inflated. Felix wiped the sweat beading on his forehead and tossed the doughnut mattress onto the pile. Then Hyunjin circled him with a hair tie and made a neat bun so that Felix's hair wouldn't hang in the water. You knew that Hyunjin had freshly washed his own blond locks and therefore didn't want them to get wet, but to see him taking the same care to keep Felix's intact warmed your heart.

Everyone was sunscreened and all the mats were ready. The sun was still blazing as if baking people was its main goal, or at least hobby. There were no questions of spending another unnecessary minute on the beach, but instead you all dived in.

stay taglist :: 💕@lemonn015

[bethanythebogwitch]

Wet Beast Wednesday: hermit crabs

There are some animals in this series that I relate with more than others. I kind of envy hermit crabs. I would love to have a hiding place I can carry around and retreat into to avoid social interaction. I'd keep some books and headphones in there. Hermit crabs are also an example of the internet's favorite part of evolutionary biology: carcinization, the tendency for many animals to evolve a crab-like body plan. Contrary to what some people seem to think, carcinization is something that happens in crustaceans only.

(Image: a hermit crab. It is a crustacean with a bright red exoskeleton with white spots and spikes. The head (with antennae and eyestalks), pincers, and two pairs of legs are emerging from a mostly white, conical snail shell. End ID)

Hermit crabs are over 200 species of decapod crustaceans of the clade Paguroidea. They are more closely related to squat lobsters, king crabs, and porcelain crabs than they are to true crabs. What sets hermit crabs apart from the other decapods is their asymmetrical bodies and soft abdomens. the soft abdomen is a major weak spot as it leaves the body vulnerable to predators. In order to protect themselves, hermit crabs have adapted to live inside of the shells of other animals, usually snail shells, but the shells of other molluscs have also been used. A few species have evolves out of the need for snail shells, such as the terrestrial coconut crab. King crabs (which are even more crablike than hermit crabs but still aren't true crabs) may also be a subset of hermit crabs that became even more carcinized and lost their soft abdomens. The relationship between hermit crabs and king crabs is an open question and a source of some pretty fierce debate. The abdomen is flexible and curls up, but is asymmetrical, usually bending to the right. This is so it can fit in the curling shell of a snail. At the tip of the abdomen are appendages called uropods that grab onto the inner column of the shell. The front part of the crab, including the head and legs, do have a protective exoskeleton. Of the 5 pairs of limbs, the rear two remain within the shell and hold onto it, the next two are used for walking, and the frontmost pair are adapted into powerful pincers. When a hermit crab retreats into its shell, it can use the pincers to block the entrance.

(Image: a mostly white hermit crab without a shell, seen from above. Normally hidden in the shell are two pairs of small legs and a long, soft abdomen that curves to the right. End ID)

The availability of shells is of vital importance to hermit crabs. They not only need local snail species to provide shells, they rely on the snails dying naturally or being killed by the type of predators that will leave the shell intact. A crushed shell is of no use. The availability of shells acts as an upper limit to the local hermit crab population. If there aren't enough shells to go around, those without them will die. The crabs don't just wear the shells, they remodel them. Through the secretion of chemicals and physically scraping at the shell's interior, the shell is hollowed out. This reduces the weight and increases the available shape in the shells. Remodeling is usually done by young hermit crabs. The shells last much longer than their inhabitants and the same shell can be used by generations of crabs. As the crabs grow, they will need to replace their shells. A shell that is too small stunts growth and can prevent the crab from retreating into it. A shell that is too large can be too heavy to move. Hermit crabs will fight each other over the best available shells. They will also attempt to steal good shells from other crabs. The attacking crab will grab onto the defender's shell and ram shells together. This continues until the attacker gives up or the defender leaves its shell. Hermit crabs have been known to form a chain of vacancy. When a crab finds a shell that is too big, it will wait for others to show up and do the same. Once one crab fits, it will abandon its former shell. The process will then repeat with the newly vacant shell until many crabs have traded. Shell fights and vacancy chains usually happen with the same species, but will occasionally occur between different species.

(Image: a pair of white and brown hermit crabs engaged in a shell fight. One hermit crab has climbed on top of the shell of the other one. End ID)

Hermit crabs are known to associate with other species of animal. Some species have a mutualistic relationship with anemones who grow on their shells. The anemone gets a place to live and transport while predators for the crab are warded of by the poisonous anemones. A genus of hydrozoans (tiny, anemone-like animals) called Hydractinia has evolves to live almost exclusively on hermit crab shells and are commonly called snail fur. On the other hand, barnacles or too many or too large anemones, can make the shell to heavy or too lopsided for crabs to use. Some species are known to tolerate the presence of small worms or amphipods who shelter in their shells.

(Image: a white and brown hermit crab in a large, white shell. On top of the shell is an anemone, which is a red, fleshy, flower-like animal. End ID)

While the vast majority of hermit crabs are marine species, there is a freshwater species (Clibanarius fonticola) and 17 land-dwelling species. These species spend their lives on land and only return to the water to mate and lay their eggs. All of the terrestrial species are members of the family Coenobitidae. 16 of those are in the genus Coenobita. The other one is Birgus latro, the coconut crab. While the other terrestrial species still wear shells, the coconut crab has a totally different lifestyle. This giant can get a legspan of 1 meter and weight of 4 kg (9 lbs), making it the largest terrestrial invertebrate. Their name comes from their habit of climbing palm trees to knock down coconuts, which they eat. While mostly herbivores, coconut crabs will hunt small animals and scavenge meat. They are also known for being curious and for stealing shiny objects, which gives them the nickname "robber crabs". Juvenile coconut crabs do wear snail shells, but as they grow, their abdomens harden, allowing them to live without shells as adults. Also, despite the meme, Amelia Earhart was probably not eaten by coconut crabs.

(Image: a coconut crab climbing a tree, with its head facing down. Its anatomy is similar to a hermit crab, but the abdomen is much shorter and has an exoskeleton. The crab is a dark brown color. End ID)

Hermit crabs of many species are kept in captivity as pets and in public zoos and aquariums. Terrestrial hermit crabs are more commonly kept as pets due to their easier care requirements. They are often promoted as easy pets that don't need much care, but misinformation leads to a high death rate and poor quality of life. Many species are marketed as living only for a few months when they can actually live over a decade with proper care. Hermit crabs are also notoriously difficult to breed in captivity, so they are usually harvest from the wild. This is leading to population crashes among popular pet species. Outside of the pet trade, there isn't a major fishery for the crabs outside of use as fish bait, though coconut crabs are edible and sometimes caught for food. Major threats to them include habitat loss, bycatch, and snail deaths resulting in fewer available shells. There has been a recent rise in wild hermit crabs using bits of trash such as glass bottles, plastic waste, and even light bulbs. These substitutes are less effective than shells and can injure or kill the crab as it tries to move in or out of them. Dead hermit crabs release a chemical signal that alerts other crabs to the presence of an available shell, which can result in the same piece of trash killing multiple hermit crabs. As of February 2024, 10 of the 16 non-coconut crab terrestrial species have been seen using waste instead of natural shells.

(Image: a brown hermit crab. Instead of a snail shell, it is wearing a plastic pipe elbow connector. End ID)

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Pyroclasmic Slooch (Sulucina vulcanis)

Debut: Pikmin 3

I think Pyroclasmic Slooch has one of the best names of any Pikmin creature! This is the one I break out if I ever need to explain what a Pikmin name feels like. A large scientific jargon-y sounding word, followed by a single silly little syllable it's perfect! And it IS meaningful, because Pyroclasmic is only one letter away from Pyroclastic, as in pyroclastic flow, a hot volcanic gas/rock current. And Slooch is just, look at this thing! It's what "slooch" looks like! Both as a noun AND a verb!

Fire in video game and monster design is usually pretty boring to me, just for how common it is. I get it, since it is pretty much the most "yeowch! don't touch" thing everyone is familiar with, but I have had enough of Charizardlikes bloating my media! Thank goodness, then, for Pikmin, which implements "conventional" elemental properties into fun, pseudoscientific speculative creatures! It may often be a big load of nonsense, but they explain the nonsense so confidently. Yeah alright. Whatever you say! Maybe a slug could be on fire.

Hello Slooch! What a nice smile you have, framed by your oral tentacles! I wonder if Pyroclasmic Slooch's eyes are useful at all. A regular slug's eyes are mostly just for sensing light and dark, but that doesn't seem practical for a creature that makes its own light that would constantly be in view! Just to be safe, you should give this Slooch a thumbs up, in case it can indeed see you! (computer screen is a real portal to another world where pretend creatures live)

So yeah, Pyroclasmic Slooch is a slug on fire, or maybe a snail whose shell IS fire. It doesn't really matter, either way, the DESIGN is fire! The vibrant orangish stripes on its black body evoke flowing and cooling lava! Lava joke: I bet it was a real "aa moment" when they came up with that design quirk!

As much as I love Pyroclasmic Slooch, it is a wild animal! And it will try to eat the min that you picked, with its funny blue tongue! Louie, everyone's favorite menace Louie, recommends cooking this tongue and no other part of the creature. Would You Eat? I wouldn't, but I wouldn't judge you for doing it. If you have plenty of Red Pikmin, though, their fire immunity makes Slooches very easy to deal with.

You know, real slugs like mold! Do you think Pyroclasmic Slooch likes mold? Maybe it could be friends, with mold. Let's introduce them!

Name: Moldy Slooch (Parasitus pseudofungi elasticis hostus)

Debut: Pikmin 4

Hooray! Now they're inseparable! You may notice that Moldy Slooch's scientific name differs greatly from that of Pyroclasmic Slooch, and that is because the Slooch is no longer in control. It is being puppeted by a fungus! Its nervous system and slime organs have been entirely taken over. Isn't that nice? Now the Slooch doesn't have to do any work, because the fungus does all of that for it! This slug can just relax for the rest of its life, because it is not dead! A dried-up corpse wouldn't be useful a very good friend, would it? In fact, if the Moldy Slooch does die, it can be instantly revived by a phallic, yet kindly Toxstool! The gift of eternal life!

Moldy Slooch's description by Dalmo (the animal enthusiast who could have been writing for this blog the whole time and you would be none the wiser includes the incredible line "Slugga slugga choo choo! Here comes the fungal spore train." So fun! Whee! I want to ride the train!

Moldy Slooch is really the best friend someone could ask for. After I met it in person, and it introduced me to Toxstool, I've never felt better! So what are you waiting for, fellow living animals? Come visit our damp cave sometime! You are always welcome :)

[strawhatbougie]

A thread of my zosan fics thus far that nobody asked for:

(All rated E)

Tongue Like a Knife (Or in This Case, A Sword)

"While the deep and dangerous voice of Pirate Hunter Zoro has made probably hundreds cower in fear, it made Sanji inexplicably and undeniably turned on. A horrifying realization that had him waving his own internal white flag time and time again before his knees gave out from embarrassment (or arousal, but he’d rather die than admit that)."

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56562154

Kissgate

Nami starts a rather calculated game of truth or dare to get Zoro and Sanji to realize their pent-up sexual frustration--and hopefully relieve their friend group of the constant petty arguing.

What Nami didn't factor in was how wrong she'd be to think what follows would be any better.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57011413/chapters/144984268

Those Damn Fingers

The usual suspects either busy or unwilling to help, Zoro enlists Franky and Luffy to help pick out a shirt for his first date with Sanji. Zoro's canonically 110cm chest ensues.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57644626/chapters/146687353

The Knight Shift

Sanji was a royal failure. Literally.

Deemed beyond redemption for being the only Vinsmoke with humility, Sanji is appointed a personal knight to keep him under surveillance. That position soon becomes a revolving door of noblemen when the young prince decides to force them into reassignment by being as intolerable as possible. The first two folded quickly, Sanji believing that one more would disappoint his father enough to retire the position entirely.

Unfortunately for the third prince of Germa, three was this knight’s lucky number.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57980884/chapters/147604246

Kiss Me Thru the Snail

Sanji looks at his own snail, and wonders if it dreams of being set free in the lush greenery of Kambakka Kingdom. Maybe he could set it on his windowsill and let it slither out into the night, Zoro’s idiotic goading slowly but surely being lost to the trees.

For if a marimo speaks in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it even make a sound? 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58384315

Lost in Translation

His tone lowers, frustration curdling every word. “You wanna take this outside?”

Zoro’s half-hard dick twitches under his haori. “Right now?”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58680220

Couldn't Care Less

Zoro didn’t care.

Unbothered. Unconcerned. Indifferent. Nonchalant.

Zoro couldn’t give less of a shit that Sanji was gone.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58726597

Slip of the Tongue

Sanji had to admit, though, it was getting more and more difficult during times when islands were few and far between. It left him even more sensitive and riled up when Zoro did get his hands on him. In combination with Zoro’s Three Kink Style: Moaning Cook technique—where the swordsman does exactly what he’s fucking doing right now, crooning dulcet encouragement and ‘baby's in his ear—there wasn’t anything Sanji wouldn’t do to get that oaf’s stupidly big cock in or around him.

Including embarrassing the ever-loving shit out of himself, apparently. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59061058

The Bet

The mosshead became in charge of planning their next date.

Sanji should’ve seen this coming. Standing here now in their bedroom, knowing Zoro even better than he knew himself, it comes as no surprise.

Did he pick a nice place to eat? Maybe a fun new activity that they can become overly competitive about?

Of course not.

No, Zoro takes the one filthy desire that Sanji accidentally hinted at on a whim and fucking runs with it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59233723

Man Spreader

Sanji was sure he heard the idiot incorrectly. It was the only possibility.

“Gross, dude—TMI,” Usopp grimaces.

“What do you mean? I spread men all of the time!” Zoro shoots back with an indignant scowl.

Okay, then Sanji heard him perfectly.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59003473/chapters/150417478#workskin

Plated

“Which one is this?” Zoro asks, peering down at his plate. He sounds almost bored, like he’s speaking to someone—something—not even worth his time. Something that’s only there to elicit a response so he can properly enjoy his meal.

Rule three: only speak when prompted.

“Hamachi,” Sanji replies.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59438275

[byunpum]

Experiment 56 [part 5]

Neteyam x Human reader ( like a mix of human and Navi )

and sullyFAM x human reader, spider x reader , and quaritch x reader (dont blame me )

Tw: mmm neteyam baby, reader being mutant, neytiri being a sweetheart-mother, jealousy, spider being spider, Watch out for quaritch, 18+ light smut, net and spider fighting like baby girls, all the characters are aged up 20's.

POV: Y/N is surprised that it is an indispensable piece for the human race. Her family will do everything possible to keep her hidden and safe…

Experiment 56 masterlist | Experiment 56 sequel Masterlist

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7

Note: I loved this part, it's a bit long. So please enjoy it. I think there are only two or three parts left to finish the series, but I don't know yet. And remember that if you want me to do more stuff about other characters, go ahead, the request is open. From now on I warn you that I am not very expert in this Navi culture, but I did my best. And I'll be using events that happened in the movie, but they won't be exactly the same. And sorry for the spelling. English is not my mother tongue.

You were already on your way to marui that you shared with your family, you were so upset. How dare he say that to you, wasn't Neteyam his friend. You were not his friend?, you thought it was all clear. You and spider never worked out and decided to be friends. But now, he's saying that you and neteyam aren't compatible. But maybe spider is right… you might have some physical characteristics of a navi, but you were still a human. You were nothing… well, maybe he was right. Neteyam needed to be with someone just like him. And you well… there was only one, you. So you would have to stay alone. You would really like to know what was the purpose of your creation.

You enter the marui, everyone was there except neteyam. Tuk and kiri were in a corner playing. And neytiri, jake and loak were sitting together preparing dinner. You walk in and go straight to where neytiri is. "Here are the snails, I picked up quite a few" you affirm and hand the bag to neytiri, while changing your gaze to go sit somewhere else. "Thank you sweetheart." Said neytiri surprised by your behavior, you were never this cold to her. Everyone was silent and looked at each other. "What could be happening to her?" said jake, while looking at neytiri. "what did you do to her?" jake gives loak a punch on his arm." Ouch, I didn't do anything… she was alone on the beach" loak complains. "She won't be at it…dad what does she get y/n every month" loak looks at his father, "period?, I don't think so" jake looks at neytiri for her to confirm it.

Neytiri didn't know about the "period" thing until one day when you were 10 years old, loak came to tell her that you were dying and that she had to say goodbye to you. Neytiri ran to where you were, and saw blood coming down from your legs. She took you in her arms and ran to Norm and max's lab. She wasn't a big fan of humans, but she trusted Norm enough. He was practically her children's uncle. "What's happening to her?" asks neytiri in panic. While you are crying, loak is also crying because he thinks his sister is going to die. Norm laughs a little and explains that periods are normal for the human female body. After that, Jake helps Neytiri understand how it all works. Two months later, Neytiri was an expert. She even prepared a special kind of reusable pad for you. Mo'at was in charge of preparing some drinks to ease the pains and loak was no longer crying for his sister.

"no, it's not her period yet. She's upset." Neytiri looks at loak, and pushes him a little." Go and talk to your sister and then come and tell us what she told you" neytiri orders loak, " but mom, they are literally sending me alive to a thanator" loak complains again. "Go, listen to your mother" jake pushes loak a little bit. He gets up and walks over to you, looks back and sees his parents waving for him to keep walking. "They're such old gossips" thinks loak, arriving to where you were and sitting down next to you. There was a long silence… too long for his taste. You were ignoring him, loak saw how you were organizing your snail collection. He had to admit, you have a talent for that. But that wasn't his mission. "Hey, how nice your snails look" loak spoke, making you look at him with a murderous look," tell mom and dad I'm not going to say anything" you speak. "Please!!! They forced me to ask you" loak pushes you a little with his arm. Again there was silence…

"Loak, I had a little argument with spider, but it's nothing serious. " you said to your annoying brother, you were hoping he would stop bothering you." you said to your annoying brother, you were hoping he would stop bothering you. "ahhhh I see, it's because of that" Loak says, while trying to understand the situation. "What are you talking about? You know something" now it's loak's turn to answer. "Well, since you're my sister aka best friend, I'll tell you… Spider told me he had feelings for you. I told him to stay out of it. Because I know and we all know that you and neteyam are fucking everywhere" you roll your eyes while loak keeps talking. "he insisted… and he told me that he was happy for you, but that he still loved you and blah blah blah. I of course, am always by your side. So I told him he was an idiot and missed his chance." Loak finishes speaking, this one sitting up straight and with a goofy grin. "Thanks for being faithful, battle buddy," you say as you tap him on the back.

"you know… I don't want this to affect my friendship with spider, I love him. But… neteyam is the love of life" loak makes a disgusted face. "I don't know what you see….but if you say so. Look, then talk to spider and set the things clear, And that's it" loak strokes your hair. You go over to him and hug him. They stayed like that for a moment, until you felt the stares of your parents." Go tell those gossips, I lost a precious snail and that's it." You say to loak, "Understood, ma'am" loak stands up. You know it's true, you must go talk to spider. But that will be tomorrow.

Meanwhile on the beach, neteyam is walking straight towards spider. Spider waves to neteyam, until neteyam walks up and pushes him into the sand. "What the fuck is your problem with y/n?" neteyam asks him, while his taller figure looks up and threatens spider from above. "I don't know what you're talking about? What's wrong with you, bro?" spider stands up from the sand. "You know what I'm talking about, you and y/n. Why do you keep hurting her." Neteyam is noticeably pissed off, pupils dilated, breaths heavy and the fingers on his hand tightening with every second. "I didn't do anything to her. I was just talking to her." Spider defends himself. "Well stop talking to her." Neteyam said, as he moved closer to the boy's face. "you have to understand that she is mine now." Neteyam looks spider in the eyes, spider is not quick to be intimidated. "i know it's yours…but that doesn't take away my privilege to speak my opinion." Spider spat, neteyam was about to hit spider, he controlled himself because he knew it would be an unfair fight.

"Well you should swallow your options for yourself. Because the last opinion you're going to have will be your ass back in the shelter with the other humans." Said neteyam, as he turned around and walked to the marui. Spider stayed there in silence, like it or not neteyam was right, he didn't have any power over you. Besides, he didn't want to go back, he liked it here…after all you guys were the only family he had. He would miss you guys a lot, even neteyam, he knows neteyam threatened him because he was upset, but they were still friends. And he didn't want to walk away from Kiri, she was special to him.

Spider swallowed hard, and followed neteyam who was already farther away. When they reached Marui, everyone noticed the tension between the two men. Jake looked at loak, and loak made a face at his father that he didn't know what had happened. Meanwhile you were at neytiri's side, dinner was already served. "Come and eat, everyone. And take off those long faces," Neytiri scolded. Everyone sat down. Kiri sat next to spider. Loak on spider's left side. Tuk in the middle of jake and neytiri. And right in front of kiri and spider, there was you and neteyam. Neteyam settled close to you, and curled his tail around your waist, a very territorial action of omaticaya males. They used to do this to mark their female, as a mating signal, it was something like "she belongs to me". Neytiri noticed the action of her eldest son, and this confirmed to her that something was going on with you. Literally, neteyam was saying that you were a couple and to stay away from you. Jake looked quickly at neytiri, and she gave him a smile. They scoffed silently.

Spider was looking at neteyam serious, he saw how his tail curled more around your waist, how close you were to each other. How you and neteyam were sharing bits of food. He had to admit it bothered him, because he knew neteyam had won. Meanwhile the others at the table were enjoying the view, it was funny. Dinner was over, some of you were already going to rest, others were cleaning up. Neteyam came up to your ear. "Hey, let's go to our place, shall we?" you smile a little and nod your head. "Dad, y/n and I are going for a ride with the ikran. We'll come back later" said neteyam, while taking your hand and they go out of the marui, " watch out" said neytiri, looking at both of you. You say goodbye and leave.

"You have to get over it, you'll find someone else" said Kiri to Spider, these two were already settling in to go to sleep." I know, I should apologize to y/n tomorrow,” Spider speaks, as she settles down. “Your plan failed” Kiri mocks. Spider pushes Kiri around a bit, as the two settle down, ready to sleep.

Neteyam and you arrive at your place, you jump down from the ikran. "hey!!!, ¡Careful, you're going to hurt yourself" shouts neteyam, as he follows you. Careful, you're going to hurt yourself" shouts neteyam, as he follows you. You settle into your favorite spot, this place was beautiful. You could tell that no one was going to this place, there were bright plants and the little light that came in, so the atmosphere was perfect, quiet, cozy. Neteyam sat next to you, making you sit between his legs. "I talked to spider" said neteyam, turning to look at him. "I noticed, you guys looked annoyed". Neteyam bends down to leave several kisses on the back of your neck, he loved your scent, it was one of his favorite things. "I think he understood what I meant" neteyam speaks, between kisses. He was already kissing the side of your neck, tickling you. "Neteyam stop…". "but why?" he places his big hands on the sides of your body, lifting you up to turn you over. He lifts you up a little, and your face is right in front of his. "mmm what do you want my big boy?" you ask him as you cross your arms around his neck, neteyam moves his arms to your thighs causing you to place them around his waist, you were already sitting on top of him. "I want a kiss." You giggle a little and give him a small kiss. Neteyam moans, and you give him another. "another one." One kiss after another. "you know… you look beautiful today. I like this top you have on" neteyam points, as he slides his index finger from your chest slowly… across your breasts to your belly button. You take a deep breath… you were very faint to his touch. "I prepared it myself" you say as you watch him continue to move down, to where you needed him most." By yourself?" neteyam asks, " yes…by myself" you breathe, until you feel neteyam playing with the garter of your loincloth. "neteyam…" you moan, as you start to lift your hips, looking to release some tension. "mmm you have to take it easy, there is no rush" as he slides his hand slowly to your wetness. You move in for a kiss, neteyam already started playing with your center, as you moved your hips back and forth, trying to seek your release. "love, you are so wet…and we are just getting started" he kept moving his hand. "I need you so much…" Neteyam kissed your forehead, as he removed his hand, to lift you up and get you settled closer. You can already feel his growing bump. "me too y/n, me too." Neteyam says placing his free hand on your hips ,helping you to grind in his lap. The rest is history…

It was morning, you and neteyam had returned to the marui late at night. Neytiri saw when they arrived, how they were playing around. She even saw when you kissed before you lay down to sleep. She didn't want to say anything, until you two felt comfortable. Inside she felt something… she didn't want to interrupt in your relationship. She knew it was strange too, because of your physical naturalness. But also, she was not uncomfortable with the idea, because you could unite with him before eywa. She wanted to get this feeling off her chest. She knew how much you loved each other. She just hoped you knew what you were doing.

Neytiri stepped forward and began to lift tuk, and kiri. Spider got up a little at a time." Good morning…neytiri" he said shyly." Good morning spider" smiles neytiri, it was the first time she smiled at him. Jake was already up and on his way to where you and Neteyam were lying down. You are lying on spoons, neteyam's hand was literally hugging you completely. "ahhhh no respect anymore!!!" complains jake, " leave them alone." Neytiri scolded jake, "yeah, they were very very very very late" scoffed loak. Neytiri smiled a little, jake walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "The family is growing…don't you think so?" he whispers in her ear, neytiri blushes a little." Yes, but don't bother them. They will know when to tell us" she received another kiss from jake. She loved this man so much.

You started to get up, you took neteyam's hand and take it away from you as you sit down. "mmm it's too early, my head hurts" you complain a little, while wiping your eyes." Sure…with the things you must have done" loak says, you blush quickly and punch her on the arm." Leave her alone…. Why are you like this?" kiri scolds loak. "Where's mom and dad?" you ask." They went out with tuk for a walk" loak said, as he reached over to his brother to pick him up. "oh, I wanted to talk to mom." You say as you sit down next to kiri, "they'll be back soon I'm sure…y/n do you want me to fix your hair?" asks kiri, you settle towards her, kiri starts to arrange some pieces of your hair. Neteyam slowly got up, while loak kept bothering him. "let me your skxáwng" says neteyam, pushing loak. " hey, tell me where were you with y/n last night?" asks loak, to his brother, he was trying to speak softly so you wouldn't hear him." Come here…come closer…. I'm not going to tell you anything" neteyam yells a little to his brother, as he gets up to go to where you were with kiri. Loak gives him a dirty look and follows him.

Spider was quiet, settling some things. He wanted to apologize to you, he knew what he had said was out of line. But he didn't know how. Meanwhile neteyam sat in front of you, enjoying the view of watching her sister fix your hair. Love this view…loak was talking to you, kiri helping you. He feels grateful…he feels like he grew up with his future partner. "hey, ma neteyam…have some water" you offer him from your cup, he takes it and swallows some. Spider takes this moment to approach you. "hey, y/n we could talk in private" says spider, neteyam looks up." Well…when kiri is done. It's okay" you accept his invitation, after all you guys are like family. You hated being on bad terms with him. Neteyam looks at you and you give him a calming smile. "Come here, sit down skxáwng" said neteyam to spider while pulling his arm. Spider sat down, he felt comfortable again. Neteyam played with his hair, while loak and he started talking. It didn't take long, until kiri finished. "Spider… aren't we going?" you say to him, as you stand up. Spider follows you. "hey, remember not to take too long… we will prepare breakfast soon" said kiri, you told him that you will be home, in less than half an hour. You and spider walked to the shore. Neteyam watched you from afar as you walked away. "hey bro, relax… y/n is your girl" said loak to him. Neteyam looks at him and then catches him by the neck to throw him to the ground. "ahh get a hold of yourselves I'm trying to find something" the two brothers ignore kiri and continue to play around.

"How about we take a ride in my ilu, while we talk" you comment, spider saw that you were in a good mood. He agreed, since spider couldn't have an ilu, he got in with you on your ilu and they set off. You rode away beyond Reef. You weren't worried, you had been here many times before. "and well…" you begin to speak, spider settles back and takes a deep breath." I'm sorry… I was out of line, I shouldn't have had an opinion about you and neteyam's relationship. I know you are perfect for each other. I just feel…jealousy. Forgive me please" Spider looked down, he was waiting for you to turn him down. In return you gave him a big hug." I forgive you idiot. I…I can't change how you feel, but I appreciate you recognizing that you were wrong." You say as you and spider share a quality smile. After all…you were friends.

It doesn't take long, until spider notices a boat in the distance." What's that?" spider points, as you look off into the distance. And yes, it was a boat speeding towards you. You and spider panicked and started to swim with your ilu, as far away as possible. But it was almost impossible, your ilu was still too young to reach very fast speeds, and that boat was approaching fast." Come on, let's go!!!" shouted spider, he looked back and could see a recognizable figure. It was the same avatar from the forest, the one that had captured them several weeks ago. The boat got close enough to drift the two of you into the water. You couldn't see who they are, because I was so focused on guiding your ilu.

When you fell into the water, you saw your ilu spinning in the water… he had hit it. Spider was a bit far away from you. As you were about to reach for him, a large hand grabbed your braid pulling you to the surface. "ahhhh let me go" you cried out in pain, the braid was a very sensitive thing. When you made eye contact with the person who had dragged you into that boat. To your surprise it was one of the avatar soldiers from the forest and the famous intimidating man. "here's the girl miles!!!! We got her!" said Lyle as he sat you down on one of the seats in the boat, while tying you up with some kind of red handcuff." Well, well… we just caught a beautiful little mermaid. hello, gorgeous do you remember me?" Quaritch came up to your face, and grabbed your chin. You spit in his face. Quaritch straightens up and wipes his face." Mmm you're lucky I like that stuff" he looks at you with a mocking look. "ok, let's go…we got our prize, straight to base" Quaritch yells to one of his soldiers who was driving.

"Spider…SPIDER!!!" you shout, but it's already useless. You see how there is no one on the surface… your tears come out of your eyes. Quaritch makes eye contact with you, and wow…. You were beautiful.

p.s: This is getting good… I've already started part 6, but I'm exhausted. It's already 3:00 am here. I've had a lot of work lately, but I still hope you like this part. Let me know what you think. I hope to have part 6 ready by tomorrow. <3

Neytiri babies: @st4rrry @valeriinee @inutheangel @gielrmn @sloppierjewel @purple7theparty @itscheybaby @ssc7514 @namorslit @ducks118 @tpwkstiles @elli-aesthetics @nao-cchi @uselessbutinteresting @msjae @austynparksandpizza @gamorxa @andyyy4444 @itssomeonereading @meivap @barbii04 @mm-nope @dorck26 @nessrin @purple7theparty @ssc7514 @sloppierjewel @yeosxxx @legendleopard100 @pandoragalora @jayzes-blog @ducks118 @laylasbunbunny @kyriekurokami @heesoftiefreak @teamanime @d4rno @dumb-fawkin-bitch-bitch @burdeningbitch @allsouls-emma @aceofheartzzz @famousbagelhandspurse @fanficblogs @lilyofthetigers @mjnij

@cherrywinesab @sloppierjewel @bubbleguppy0315 @ellielovesrobinarellano @mrs-sullys-blog @lovekeeho @vectoriscommitingcrimes @kimtaehussy @bimbotinkerbell  @aceofheartzzz @d4rno @3okutos-3ig-toe

If there is any problem with the tags, let me know. I have had many people asking me to be on the tag list, if you are not on the list yet you can send me a message.

[fanaticsnail]

I'm surprised by all the love for Childhood Friends Reader x Doffy but also I feel like a winner. Take that, discord buddies.

I want to write at least the first few chapters before publishing anything just to see if I'm good at it or not.

Here is some 17-year-old Doffy with 15-year-old Reader. He is great at Spanish but sucks at French at this age (he's still learning 🥺)

Doflamingo was lounging on the chair, his legs extended, feet sitting on the round, small table of the restaurant, his hands folded behind his back, swaying back and forth on the chair.

One day, fate would have enough of his games and the chair would tip over and the goof would fall. You had a camera ready for that day.

You were doing prep for the evening dinner, wondering what dessert to put on the menu on the chalkboard outside.

"Hey, can we have a quickie tonight?" asked Doflamingo curiously.

You dropped your knife, and almost cut your finger off by doing it. Your heart raced wildly as your mind raced even faster, by the teen pirate’s suggestion.

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck - you thought, freaking out.

Your face was so red it would make the Red Line pale in comparison.

"You know, that delicious tart thing,” said Doflamingo, beaming at you, like you didn't experience a full system shutdown at the ripe old age of fifteen.

The confusion and panic faded very fast after that, replaced by embarrassment.

“It's a quiche, you moron!" you shrieked, and as per usual, grabbed the closest thing in vicinity and threw it at him.

Doflamingo squawked in surprise when the box of butter came flying at him. His fingers controlling the strings wrapped around the stool's hind legs twitched.

Uh-oh, was the final thought Doflamingo had before the chair tipped over, and his overly large, gangly body went down, crashing to the wooden floor.

At least the butter missed him. That thing hurts.

Your shocked gasp was music to his ears, and he faked a pained groan while grinning from ear to ear.

“Doffy!” you cried, running out from behind the bar to the large heap of limbs that was your best friend.

You gathered his head in your lap, “Doffy, are you okay? Wake up! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't die!"

"I might from suffocation," gasped Doflamingo, despite your hug not really hurting.

There was another gasp from you, this one of relief.

"I thought you shattered your skull!” you cried, hugging him tight.

A swell of warmth spread through Doflamingo, and he raised his arms, hugging you back — you were so tiny in his arms now, but he liked it, he liked being big for you — gently patting your back as you rambled incohrenetly.

How cute.

If you thinking he got hurt meant you hugging him this close, practically stuffing his face into your breasts, your hands cradling his head and your gentle fingers caressing his hair, maybe Doflamingo should whine about the rare little injuries he gets more often.

“I can't shatter my skull,” said Doflamingo, smirking, enjoying the embrace. “Because I’m a string man!”

He laughed at his own pun, and loved hearing your giggles join in.

I just think all the teenage chars with material-based Devil Fruits were doing that "Because I'm (insert material of Devil Fruit here)" during their teenage years because it was the cool thing to say in their minds.

Much love to all the anons, and to you, Snail.❤️❤️

- Yandere Doffy Anon

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(we can have anything you want, king).

I love this childhood friend au. Drop the Ao3 link, my darling. I want EVERYTHING you write for them 😭😭

[hey-august]

Edging anon: Alternate take on this that is more cute and a bit silly rather than hot (Altough I personally still think it’s pretty hot), that I still liked and wanted to share:

It’s fun to tease the little captain while your man’s away at sea, that was the whole point of this excercise from the start. Give that poor little thing (well, big thing actually, with just enough girth to satisfy you immensely and a cute, pinkish tip that makes your mouth water when you look at it) a few light touches during the day, just linger a bit too long after you helped him answer the call of nature, be extra gentle when you tuck this pretty cock in at night…. But also it’s oddly bittersweet to do so while Buggy is out and about. It’s sexy to be so MEAN to him, but also Buggys magic to his cock is frustratingly more reliable the Denden connection in the waters he’s charting trough.

So it’s frustrating to wait on him like this at times. Not even because of sex, but because your funny, handsome, silly clown man isn’t there with you to hold you at night or try to make you stay in bed longer even tough he KNOWS you both have a busy schedule today. It’s hard not being there when he has a bad night, he’ll, it’s harder not knowing if he has a bad night PERIOD and if a warm hug from you would help more making it better than your hand on his dick.

And you can’t help but think about that while you absently wash his cock before you are about to get ready for bed. Carefully, taking the soft washcloth and drawing a big swipe tracing the vein on the underside. This is fun, truly it is fun, but this week has been hard for you in a non sexual manner just as much as it has been (both sexual and non sexual) for Buggy.

A twitch in your hand brings you back to the present. Oh well, just two more days and he’ll be home. Still, you want to somehow make him know hes loved and you miss him, so you decide to give the little captain a little kiss, right below the head of his dick, the peckish and soft kind, a tender little reminder that you want his entire back home beyond just sexual desire.

The spurt of cum shoots out of the cock in your hand so suddenly you accidentally drop it back into the tub in surprise. The load he just blew was HUGE. The streaks barely missed your right eye and you’re certain some of it got behind your ear as well as your hair. You hadn’t noticed how long you’ve been holding him while you were reminiscing about him, but even then, that a tiny little kiss made him cum like a bull is surprising.

You look in disbelief at the cock pathetically twitching and returning to its softened stated under the water. You never realized cocks could look embarrassed. You carefully retrieve Buggys privates from the water, realizing both cock and balls are still going trough the aftershock of a damn fucking good orgasm, spasming every so often.

You almost drop him again when the telltale purupurupuru alerts you to Buggy apperantly being in waters with a better connection now. You pick up the phone, trying not to look into the, now red nosed, snails eyes, because you know where this conversation will be headed and you already feel bad for it’s innocence.

„Buggy.“ „YEAH OKAY SO TURNS OUT THE AREA IS FULL OF SEABEASTS!“ „Buggy is okay-„ „SO I PROBABLY WONT MAKE IT HOME FOR LIKE ANOTHER WEEK-„ „Buggy it’s okay, you were just“ „OR ANOTHER MONTH OR MAYBE EVEN EVER WHO KNOWS WHAT THESE THINGS MAY DO TO ME! MAY EVEN DIE OUT HERE! SUCH A SHAME!“ „Buggy, I think it’s cute you liked it so mu-„ „OH LOOK AT THIS! A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN! WHAT A SHAME! TOO BAD, SO SAD! SEE YOU NEVERHOPEFULLYGODDAMNPLEASEFORGETTHATHAPPENEDPLEASE!!“

Being apart from you was difficult. It was hard. Buggy didn't think it was going to be this hard all the time.

It was cute at first. Sweet. You were always teasing him - sneaking up to tickle him, wrapping your arms around him so tightly that he honked, pinching his ass in public, sitting in his lap and "accidentally" moving too much. So even if you weren't physically together (well, more than you currently were), all your taunting touches made Buggy feel like you were right there.

But as the trip dragged on, the frustrations built up. Frustration that you weren't with him. That he couldn't jack off, fuck you, or come at all. That he hardly had enough time to talk to you over a spotty staticky connection.

Buggy thought about asking you for...a favor. Just once. Something little. Quick. Just the tip, you know? But he couldn't bring himself to actually say the words during the handful of calls you two had. How shitty would that be? "Hey, how have you been? Everything okay? Taking care of yourself? Great, can you rub one out for me?"

Fuck no.

...maybe he should have asked though. That might have been better than what actually happened.

Buggy wouldn't admit it, but he liked the nighttime "baths." Even if the routine left him painfully hard and pent up, he enjoyed the attention. It was comforting.

As you dragged the washcloth along his cock, all he could think about was your tongue doing the same. Fuck, he could practically feel your breath, like you were leaning in taste him.

The moment your lips touched his burning skin, it was all over. So soft and plush against his erection. Buggy didn't stand a chance. He felt like the floor was pulled out from under him.

He was doubled over and groaning. Knees weak, threatening to give out. His mind was reeling, trying to catch up to what his body was experiencing. How was there so much fucking cum?

It was like a wet dream but worse. Buggy felt like he should have known it was coming. Ugh. Coming. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuuuuuuuck. You just watched his detached dick explode after a kiss. Not even a sloppy slutty kiss with tongue and spit. Nope. Just a little bit of chaste affection.

Shit, what's he supposed to do now?

[cozage]

The Daughter's Return Part 3

Chapter 10: Change in Plans

Start From Beginning | Next Chapter | Table of Contents | Read on AO3

Characters: female reader x Portgas D. Ace Word Count: 1.2k

Sanji was the first to approach your unmoving form. He sat in front of you and held out a plate. 

“You should eat. Ace told me you needed to eat.”

Ace’s name made you flinch, but other than that you showed no sign of seeing or hearing Sanji. In a sense, you didn’t hear him. Everything felt distorted, like you were underwater or in a dark and echoey cave. 

This wasn’t happening to you. It couldn’t happen to you. Ace would be back soon. This was all a big misunderstanding. 

“Come on,” Sanji said. “I hate to see you like this, darling. You need to eat. He’s not worth it.”

Tears filled your eyes. “You don’t know anything, Sanji,” you snapped. “So don’t talk about things that you don’t understand.”

He seemed startled that you addressed him, but he took that as a good sign. “Listen, you’re a beautiful lady. You don’t need him, so just-”

“I need him,” you whispered. “I need to find him. I need-” you eyes widened. “His vivre card,” you breathed.

You rushed to your feet and raced to your bag, pulling out a clip of papers.

Whitey, Brew, Dad, Marco, Jinbe, Izou, Curiel, Shanks, Namur, Haruta, Epoida. 

You looked again. Whitey, Brew, Dad, Marco, Jinbe, Izou, Curiel, Shanks, Namur, Haruta, Epoida. 

No Ace. His card had drawings of hearts all over it. You did it so his card would stand out against the others. It was impossible to miss. But it wasn’t there. 

“Luffy!” you called out, clipping the papers back together. “Did Ace give you a piece of paper?”

“A paper?” Luffy asked, staring at you confused. 

“A paper.” You held out your other vivre cards as an example. “Like this?”

Luffy stared at your hand long and hard, and then shook his head. “Nope.”

“Luffy.” Panic was rising in you, desperation beginning to spill into and seizing your muscles. “Give me the paper.”

“He didn’t give me one.” Luffy turned away from you, unable to meet your eyes. 

You knew he was lying. You could see it written all over his face, which is why he was hiding it from you. But could you fight him for the possibility of getting Ace’s vivre card? You didn’t even know where the card was hidden, and Luffy wouldn’t give that information up, even if you did try to beat it out of him.

Plus, beating up Luffy meant beating up his crew too. Could you fight every Strawhat here? Logistically, it’d be a walk in the park. But you weren’t sure if you could live with yourself. You’d have to convince him. 

“I promise I’ll give it back when I’m done with it, Luffy.”

“He only gave me the snail,” Luffy said, his lip sticking out in defiance. 

“Please,” you begged. “Ace will die without-”

“Ace won’t die!” Luffy yelled, glaring at you. “Have more faith in him! He has faith in you!”

Your lower lip trembled, and you bit it to keep it steady. Luffy clearly knew nothing. Ace didn’t have any faith in you at all. Or else he wouldn’t have left.

“Luffy!” Sanji screamed back in your defense. “Don’t yell at a lady!”

“You’re yelling at Luffy now!” Zoro yelled.

“Yeah, ‘cuz he’s an idiot, idiot!”

“You won’t find it,” Luffy assured you, ignoring his crew. “I don’t have it.”

You knew he did have it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take it from him by force. So you walked to Yuba with the crew, hoping that he might change his mind the more you were together. 

You didn’t eat. Sanji begged and pleaded with you, but you refused meals. You considered laying down and never moving again, letting your bones get covered by the sand. 

“You’re being dramatic,” Luffy finally said, shoving a spoonful of stew in his mouth. “Ace knows what he’s doing. He’s not stupid. And if you’re really actually mad at him, you need to just go punch him. Don’t suffer because you’re mad. That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I can’t find him, Luffy,” you hissed. “That's why I need that piece of paper you have.”

He stuck his lips out again, pouting at your aggression. “I told you I don’t have a paper.”

You rolled your eyes, clearly not believing him.

“Besides,” Luffy added. “Someone else has to have this paper you keep talking about, right? Go ask them!”

You perked up at that thought. All of the subordinate captains had each of the commander’s cards. Which meant Whitey would have Ace’s card. If you could convince her to give you his card, you’d be able to follow it back to him. 

“You’re right,” you agreed, reaching for your spoon. You unconsciously ate while you thought, trying to work out the kinks of the plan. 

It could work. It would take some time, but Ace had left you all the money. You could probably buy a small, old sloop. If you couldn’t afford one, you’d just steal it and leave the money you had as payment. 

You still had Whitey’s vivre card, and you knew she was in Paradise. Brew was as well, if Whitey wasn’t able to help you out. You had plenty of people who had Ace’s card. 

And just like the ship, if they wouldn’t give it to you, you’d steal it. You’d find a way back to Ace so you could fight Teach together. Together, with your strategy and his power, you were certain you could do it. You were certain you could win. Your spirits lifted just a little bit, thinking about the possibility of meeting back up with Ace again. 

You all only made it about halfway to Nanohana before Luffy demanded they turn around and head back for Rainbase. 

But Rainbase would only delay you further, and you didn’t have a moment to waste. 

“You guys go,” you said. “I’m going to keep on going to Nanohana and find a ship.”

“Are you sure?” Nami asked. “What if you get lost?”

“I’ll be fine,” you said. “It’s only another day or two, isn’t it? It can’t be that hard.”

“A lady shouldn’t travel alone,” Sanji said. “What if-”

“Sanji,” you laughed. “I could kick anyone’s ass who’s on this island right now. Yours included. I’ll be fine.”

Sanji collapsed backward, overtaken by your words. 

“Follow the brightest star in the sky at night, and use the sun as a guide during the day,” Vivi offered, trying to give you a crash course of desert survival. “Nanohana is south-east, so follow the sun in the morning, and keep it to your back in the evening.”

“Ace wanted you to stay with us,” Luffy said. “But if you need to go find him, then you should.”

You gave him a polite smile, trying one last time. “You could give me something that would help speed up the process.”

Luffy deadpanned. “Don’t have it.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing lightly. “Alright, alright.”

You gave them all a deep bow. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Even when I didn’t want it.”

“It’s nothing!” They all said in unison. 

“I’ll see you around, Luffy.”

“See ya!”

And with that, you and the Strawhats went your separate ways.

--

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[soapyghost]

i need to give könig a smooch RIGHT NOW or i will DIE. he deserves THE WORLD. i need to HOLD HIM and SMOOCH HIS FOREHEAD and TELL HIM HE IS LOVED (may i have könig x gender neutral reader fluff blease??? i just know that he is so sweet and so adorable. he is my sweet cheese, my babygirl and there is so little content for him)

ABSOLUTELY! König makes my whole life better. UGH I love him.

Pure fluff coming up-

It’s been a week since you found that crumpled note under your pillow. You could tell instantly by the terrible, yet somewhat cute, handwriting that it was Königs penmanship.

Will you go to the mall with me on Saturday to buy me civvy clothes?

-König

The sound of your blood rushes to your ears. Is this him asking you on a date? Or was this just an invitation because he was to nervous to go on his own? Your heart flutters at the thought of walking around the mall with König by your side. You fold the note and tuck it safely into your breast pocket, smiling to yourself.

Saturday seems to take eons. You’re mind wanders during every meeting and debrief. The only thing in your mind during every moment of every day is your date with König. When Saturday finally rolls around you can’t get to the parking lot fast enough to meet him. You see him far before he sees you, and you’re surprised that he isn’t in his mask. Instead opting for a black baseball cap and a surgical mask, which with the ongoing pandemic made it look normal. His clothes on the other hand look liked they had been picked out of the trash from a Goodwill. His cargo pants were much too large and his black t-shirt was way too small, but it did show off his muscles.

“Hey big guy! You ready?” You shout to him across the parking lot. The sound of your voice puts him at ease almost immediately. His eyes light up and he rushes over to you. He’s different with you, softer, which you would never expect from a 6’9” German man. “You all ready to go?” He asks with such excitement he can barely contain himself. The entire ride to the mall you and König don’t stop talking, laughing and singing terribly to the songs on the radio.

But the moment you two step out of the car he freezes, car door still open. You can see the terror in his face as he sees the people lingering outside the mall. You rush over to the other side and put an arm on his bicep, “hey hey. It’s ok. I’m right here” you whisper as you look into his eyes. “It’s gonna be ok, I promise.” You grab onto his hand and that finally softens him. He comes back to you and to earth. “Ok. I believe you” he murmurs, looking back into your eyes and squeezes your hand.

As the two of you walk through the sliding glass doors into the noisy mall you can feel Königs grip tighten on yours. People begin to turn and see this hulking giant of a man and whisper to each other. You know König has some pretty severe anxiety, “hey. Anytime you need to leave we can leave” you say. He simply shakes his head, “No. I want to do this. With you” he whispers, eyes sinking to the floor. You cup his chin and raise his eyes back to yours “I want to do this with you too” you smile, “how about this, anytime you feel anxious you squeeze my hand and we’ll stop whatever it is we’re doing and I’ll tell you a joke?” “I don’t want to hurt you” he replies, gesturing at how his hand dwarfs yours. “Dont worry about it big guy, I can handle it”

You make your way through the stores, laughing at the outfits he tries to pick out for himself. König may be one of the best soldiers out there but he has the fashion sense of a dead snail. You help him choose some basic clothes, jeans, T-shirts that actually fit, and a new pair of sneakers. Surprisingly, he only squeezes your hand a few times the whole time you’re in the mall with him. You’re so proud. Once your shopping trip is over you take him to the food court to treat him to a soft pretzel and some boba.

As he bites into the pretzel his face twists into disgust. “This is your idea of a pretzel?” He mutters, spitting it out into a napkin. You can help but burst out laughing at the look of horror on his face. “Mother would be so dissapointed in this… abomination”. “Oh I am so sorry our food does not live up to your expectations my King” you retort. He laughs. A big hearty laugh you only hear when you’re alone, never ever in public. He takes a sip of the boba tea, fully expecting to hate it, but it takes him by surprise how much he loves it. “We should get this back on base” he says inbetween sips. “Indeed” you agree, seeing him so happy and worry free stirs something inside you. You want him to feel like this every day, all day. You promise yourself then and there that you would do everything possible to make sure that becomes reality. “I really had a great time today, König. Thank you for taking me” you declare.

“I would like to take you on more dates in the future” he responds. Eyes full of hope that you will agree.

“Nothing in this world would make me happier.” You smile, taking his hand in both of yours.

[itsagrimm]

He Who Comes from under the Water

Chapter 6 - Safekeeping

Monster!König X she/her afab Reader

CN dead fish

Notes for better understanding at the bottom!

Beta-read by @queenquazar. She is a writer as well and does amazing work which you should definitely check out.

2,3 k words

Masterlist

The water ran playfully past your bare feet dangling in the little stream. You had taken off your shoes, sitting at the grass covered bank while watching König fish. It was shallow, but you could not bring yourself to go deeper than this. König of course did not mind the water, hip deep, and comfortably towering as he straightened victoriously like a tree surviving the flood to pass you one sorry little flapping creature after another, asking you with much elation if that sorry thing would do for lunch.

“A Pike? Yummy.”

“No, not the Rodd. Too much bone.”

“Please don’t make me eat a snail.”

“Another Pike! How did you manage to catch a second one so quickly?”

As the caught fish collected in a basket next to you, waiting to be gutted and prepared, you leaned back on your elbows. It had been a… strange morning.

König had come inside your home for breakfast, only to reveal you might die due to the dangers of being his underwater queen. His words had felt like getting pushed back into a dark pit you had barely managed to crawl out of moments ago. Every time you gathered back your strength, something happened, and you were back where you started. But unlike you, König was not as quick to give up and dragged you back up once again from the pit.

 In fact, you wondered why he had not given up on you, just leaving you to find himself a better, more suitable, queen? No, König was bent on keeping you alive, jumping up from the kitchen table declaring ‘I have an idea’ and running out, shouting for the Heron. Confused, you had stayed where you were, only for König to run back in again, lifting you up in a surprising hug accompanied with a ‘you will live, you will live’-chant. You had squeaked in surprise, and he nearly dropped you on the floor, mumbling an excuse before running out again and returning what felt like no time with a bit of fresh birch bark, asking you for a knife.

“Why?”

“It is to write a letter.”

Confused, you passed him a kitchen knife and he started scratching symbols into the soft bark with it. The little blade looked so ridiculous in his large hands, like a dainty daisy in a bear’s claw. Despite it all, you laughed. A desperate little laugh fighting its way out of your lungs.

He looked up.

“What is it, Bride?”

“Nothing. Your hands are so big and the knife so small. That is all.”

He leaned back.

“Would you prefer to write yourself with this tiny knife in your tiny human hands?”

“I can’t,” you replied shortly, still giggling. What a stupid question.

“Why? Can you only use a knife to chop fish?”

“Yes,” You dead panned and smiled softly, the easing laughter helping you with your heavy mood, “I can’t read. Women do not read or write. Don’t you know? Only men can and Ivar, the village teacher, never allowed girls, despite my brother being a student of his and practising at this table next to me. I still was never allowed to attend.”

König frowned under all the messy tangled hair.

“We should change that. Downstream in the cities, everyone knows how to read and write - man, woman or whatever you humans can be. It would be good for you to learn it - but not today. The Heron will not be able to guard you. They have to deliver this letter and hopefully give us the help we need for you to stay alive.”

He paused, his eyes shifting from the pragmatic to a soft questioning gaze.

“Would you like to spend the day with me instead, Bride? I promise, I’ll keep you as safe as the Heron.”

And that was how you ended up wandering the forest with König. Watching him search for trees to fall for the palace with his big axe, while you followed collecting berries and harvesting herbs with your little, tiny kitchen knife until you grew tired and rested at this little stream.

A little splash of water to your face made you squeal in surprise, and you opened your eyes.

König stood before you, a huge catfish under his arm struggling to get free and splashing water everywhere.

“Don’t fall asleep in the sun, Bride,” König chided softly. “You will get a headache from it. The old man complained about it all the time.”

You giggled. “Yes, grandfather liked to have naps but never chose a good spot for it.”

You got up to move into the shadows of a willow for a quick nap.

König nodded approvingly, the catfish under his arm joining in in an attempt to get free.

“Can you make a fire before you nap? It is not my strong suit and, unlike me, you don’t eat raw fish.”

Surprised you turned to König. The man who appeared to be able to do anything – scare away Ivar, summon speaking animals and swamp lights, catch fish and lift heavy wood – did not know how to make a fire.

“No fire under the water, remember?”

You paused before nodding.

That made sense.

The catfish nodded too before finally wiggling out of König’s grip and slipping back into the water.

With a curse König dived after it, leaving you to make a fire.

With practised ease you build a little pile before lighting it up and feeding it more air and dried bark until it was big enough to sustain itself.

Casually you grabbed a few sticks, sharpened them with your knife, gutted and cleared the caught fish and skewered the pike meat wrapped in some of the herbs. It would make for a great meal and you felt your body going from tired to awake enough for food and an eventual nap afterward.

König emerged from the stream and stepped on land, his unhuman appearance mostly covered by a dripping cloak except for the shimmery wet skin from the water and the sunlight.

“No catfish?”

He grumbled something in defeat before sitting down next to the fire.

“You need to teach me how to do this fire and cooking thing, Bride. Could be useful.”

“Oh yes, I will,” You promised, “Who else is supposed to make meals while I sleep?”

He chuckled.

“You humans are so delicate – always needing rest, food, shelter, air, water – but only the clear sweet waters and none of the green or salty ones. I wonder how you make it through the day laughing. Your lives are so harsh.”

“It is pretty okay being a human.” A grin spread on your face as you shrugged. “Better than coming from the water and having to munch raw catfish. Oh wait, the catfish got away. Guess you’ll go hungry, love.”

The word slipped out of you before you could think - a little treacherous word telling of little, treacherous dreams in your little, hopeful heart.

Love.

You looked down, pretending to concentrate on the fire and picked up one of the sticks to grill the fish.

“Be kind and do not let me starve, maiden.” König called out playfully and picked up one of the prepared sticks. “How do you do this?”

You showed him how to hold the fish without burning it, reminding him he had to turn it once in a while, so the fish will be cooked from all sides, and explaining how you used the herbs on the meat.

“And no bark?” König asked after your explanations.

“No bark.”

“Hmpf.

You looked up at him, his features hidden by his hair and hood. Except for his mouth with gleaming sharp teeth turned down in an unhappy frown.

Very sharp teeth.

You shivered, the reality of your fiancé’s inhumanness hitting you in the face like water from the struggling catfish desperate for life.

“Humans do not eat bark but if you like it so much, do what you want.” Your voice went thin as you spoke, a strange lump of fear and worry weighted down deep in your gut.

“Say, König,” you started. “What exactly is so dangerous about me becoming your wife?”

There, the words were out.

Hanging in the air like the skewed fish over the fire, slowly burning and sizzling away skin – painful and inevitable, unless doing something to prevent it.

König sighed.

“My brother,” he explained with a defeated tone, “Can be very pessimistic. He said I might accidentally kill you by drowning. But,” He looked at you, his eyes clear as ice piercing through any doubt. “I will not do that. I promise you are safe with me and there might be someone who can help with removing that danger. Also,” He continued as a careful, toothy smile grew on his face. “So far I have at least somewhat succeeded in keeping you safe, right? You are here and not hurt or hidden away in the house. Not saying I’ve done it perfectly but…” His voice rippled off in waves, making your eye brows narrow slightly

“It is good enough for now… right?”

You stared into the fire, thinking about König’s words. Yes, you were afraid. His otherness sometimes confusing you, or making you withdraw from him in fear. But never had he done anything to harm you.

At least not willingly.

Yes, there were accidents and mistakes. But, he tried to keep you safe and looked out for you. You could not remember anyone being so honestly interested in you and your well-being. Not the villagers who dropped you the moment you became uncomfortable for them. Not the boys you had kissed in secret, or girlfriends who had stopped visiting you when you started to cry more than you laughed from all the death and misery in your life. And certainly not your family who loved you, but kept you as their obedient child to help at home and carry any expectations they placed on you without opposition. That included your beloved grandfather who promised you to someone without asking your permission, counting on you to just follow his command. Love was complicated. You missed your family, your friends and old life. But there was bitterness thinking about them now. The old house had become as much a sanctuary as it was a prison.

Being with König was not that different: like an axe to build a new palace or yield as a weapon.

Yes, it was unfortunate how you had come to be the Bride of the King from Under the Water.

And maybe it would be your death.

But so far, your engagement has come with much more grace than you had ever known.

“Do not worry, my love,” You whispered those words with a grim dedication to all that it might include. “I know you are keeping me safe, and I trust you will continue to do so.”

The silence of your words weighed heavy as you stared into the fire without seeing the flames.

A hand touched yours and you jerked up. König had moved closer, carefully lifting your hand with the skewered fish up and away from the heat.

“I am not much of an expert on fire but this looks like you could light yourself up like that,” He declared with a soft ring as if trying not to smile. “You said it yourself - ‘turn it so it does not burn’. I would do a poor job keeping my bride safe if I let you burn your fingers now.”

You blinked in confusion, before adjusting the grip on the stick in your hand under his large right palm.

“Thank you,” you mumbled.

He kept his hand around yours - warm, strong, pleasant - and you hummed in approval as his other wandered around your shoulder and pressed you closer to his side.

My bride. My bride.

That’s what he had said.

The words rang pleasantly in your ears as you nuzzled into Königs chest.

XXX

Cultural context notes:

König writes in Old Church Slavonic. Old Church Slavonic is the basis of many the Slavic languages written form. It was ‘created’ by two monks named Methodius and Cyril (That’s why the modern alphabet is now called Cyrillic) who were tasked with helping to convert the Byzantian Slavs in Moravia to Christianity. To do that they translated several religious texts, most importantly the Bible, into Old Church Slavonic which could be understood by the Slavs. Old church Slavonic is really cool and can still be understood by many modern speakers of Slavic languages despite coming from the 9th century. Also, the Polish band Batushka / БАТЮШКА sings in Old Church Slavonic if you want to know what it sounds like.

XXX

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