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mechazushi · 2 months ago

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Insane Dad Lore (Part One) [ A Kn8 Short Story]

[Head's Up!] So this is going to hopefully be a part of a series. The plan is that I'm going to make several "Short" stories {length to be determined} That are all about this pervasive idea I have centered around the idea that Kafka went on a soul-searching journey through Germany after a series of unfortunate events. Some of this (down the road) will not line up with established canon (mainly parts pertaining to his family) and I'd just thought I would let ya'll know. I have more personal details after the fic.

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It's safe to say that having the ability to turn into a Kaiju is enough to make anyone interesting. But when that's the only thing you know about a guy, suddenly discovering anything unrelated seems to make him a lot more fascinating than before. Even more so when you've only known him for three weeks and you're starting a new job together. The first and most subtle discovery Reno and Iharu found about Kafka was during their third day as Defense Force officers. They had just finished a long day of training and had hit the bathhouse showers before bed

Reno had undressed the fastest and booked it for the shower counters so he could wash the spilled energy drink out of his hair. Between that and the sweaty sheen he had developed, he just felt all around uncomfortable. Kafka and Iharu had wrapped towels around their waists and casually trailed in some time shortly, engaged in quiet conversation. The two of them tossed their shower supplies onto the counter and pulled up their own squat plastic chair with Kafka sitting in between the two juniors. Kafka had to took twice as he saw just how hard Reno was scrubbing away at his hair.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked.

"He's fine. Someone dropped their energy drink out of a second floor window and it hit him in the head." Iharu answered for Reno as he dug out a bottle of shampoo.

"Damn, sounds like that sucked." Kafka offered some simple platitude and he dug out an old plastic gum container filled with q-tips instead.

"I... have smelled nothing... but grape powder... all day!" Reno growled in between bouts of vigorous scrubbing.

"What, you gotta problem with grape flavor?" Kafka chuffed as he wet the tips of the q-tip.

"Have you seen my hair? I don't know if it's ever..." Reno wanted to continue his tirade about what the cursed drink did to his snow blond locks, but was cut short by the sight of Kafka bringing the q-tip to his nose.

"What are you...?" Reno began to question, only to suddenly choke down a sickening retch as he watched Kafka practically thread the q-tip through the septum in his nose.

"What was tha-AAH! WITCH DOCTOR!" Iharu shouted as he turned and was confronted with the same sight.

"What has gotten into the two of you?" Kafka interrogated as he swiveled to look at them, leaving the q-tip suspended in his nose.

"Y-y-y-your n-nose!" Reno stuttered, pointed finger quaking at the sight.

"Oh, this?" Kafka pointed to the unusual sight, "Old nose ring piercing." He didn't expand upon as he went back to sliding the cotton tipped instrument back and forth through the hole.

"YOU HAVE A NOSE RING?" Iharu shouted once he recovered from the shock.

"Had being the better term here. I had to drop the look if I was to land my job with the Monster Sweepers. They considered it a possible safety hazard." Kafka explained as he pulled the stick out and fiercely rubbed at his nose.

"Do you still have the ring?" Reno asked, morbid curiosity getting the better of him.

"Unfortunately, no." Kafka said with a heartbroken sigh, "Lost it down a mall bathroom sink."

"Then how do you still have the hole?" Iharu questioned, joining in on the perverse inquiries.

"From what I've heard, once it's fully healed you don't tend to lose 'em. Still gotta make sure there isn't anything stuck in there though." Kafka continued to answer as he started to look through the rest of his shower supplies.

"Do you have any others?" Reno quickly fired back.

"God, ya'll are just full of questions tonight." Kafka used to answer, hoping it would encourage them to find something else to talk about.

A short period of time passed before Iharu spoke back up as he noticed Kafka didn't answer the question, "Well... do you?"

Kafka sighed heavily before he answered, "I had almost twenty by the time I had to give them all up. Outside of my nose ring, I'm pretty sure most of the holes are completely closed up."

"TWENTY?" Now it was Reno's turn to shout incredulously.

"Wow, I hadn't pegged you as the metal head type." Iharu voiced openly.

"Are you kidding? I was more than a Metal Head." Kafka chuckled cryptically, "I was a Heavy Metal Head." He giggled eerily as he turned to Iharu and wiggled his fingers creepily, making him laugh.

"I'm sure you had a Heavy Head at least with all those piercings, Sir." Reno teased under his breath.

He wasn't nearly as quiet as he should have been with it since Kafka very clearly still heard him. Before Kafka could return fire, Iharu popped another question.

"So what type of piercings did you have?"

"Uhh, let's see..." Kafka said as he scratched his chin, " I had three rings in the right ear, three studs in the left, the nose ring, nose bridge cuff, a snake bite set, an eyebrow stud, dimple studs- got rid of those pretty quickly, a belly button..." Kafka trailed off, almost lost in thought before his eyes snapped open in shock.

"Uhh, yeah, I think that's the list. The whole list, nothing else." Kafka finished as a miniscule bead of sweat trailed down his temple.

Iharu's eyes flickered around in thought before they landed back on Kafka with confusion, "That's fourteen piercings."

"So? Fourteen is close to twenty." Kafka countered, still looking somewhat nervous.

"Then why not say fifteen? That's a lot more reasonable than saying close to twenty" Reno argued as he shrugged.

"Yeah. Saying Twenty to mean fourteen is a little misleading. There's a lot more numbers between fourteen and twenty than fifteen." Iharu supported his friend's argument as he drew out the problem on the mirror in front of them with a bar of soap.

"Are you sure you're not forgetting some?" Reno questioned as he squinted at his older friend suspiciously.

"So I miscalculated! You don't have to drag me over a bed of coals about it.'" Kafka threw his hands up on either side of his head as he got up from his seat to make it clear that was the end of it. The two of them watched as he walked out toward the hot bath in the other room and turned the corner.

"He doesn't miscalculate. I've seen that man do accurate inventory reports without even stepping into the storage room." Reno murmured as his eyes flickered back to Iharu.

"You don't think he had some... embarrassing ones, do you?" Iharu sneered scandalously right back.

"What piercing could be embarrassing?" Reno asked as he rinsed the shampoo from his hair.

"Nipple rings for starters." Iharu quietly chuckled out.

Hearing this, Reno visibly shivered, "You know, that's a good point. I feel better not knowing now."

"I don't." Iharu replied, "He's definitely got more than he's letting on and I wanna know the full extent." He rushed to catch up with Reno in scrubbing himself down before they could join the others in the on-site onsen. Finishing and getting up from their spots, they walked over to the other room to join the others in the massive bath.

"I'm serious, you can tell a lot about a person by what they would willingly get pierced. Like, who knows what Kafka was like in his twenties? What do you think would be the line he wouldn't draw back then?" Iharu continued to comment on the idea as he followed Reno out of the room.

"I get your point, but knowing him as he is now, I sincerely think he wouldn't have gotten anything below the belt." Reno challenged as his attention was focused on his friend.

"You'd be surprised-" Iharu replied before his head snapped forward to see the awkward spectacle before them.

On the way to the bath, it appeared that Kafka had been sidelined with an interaction with their Vice Captain. It wouldn't have been an unusual sight had it not been for the fact that for One) It had looked like Kafka's towel had fallen off of his waist and was now desperately clutching it in front of his privates, and Two) Soshiro Hoshina was caught in the compromising position that was kneeling right in front of where Kafka was death-gripping the towel. Aoi and Haruichi were standing off to the side witnessing the event. Aoi was as stone faced as ever, but Haruichi was clearly holding back the urge to burst into laughter.

"Whoa, whOA, WHOA! WHAT THE HELL?" Iharu shouted as he intruded onto the situation.

"This isn't what it looks like!" A very red-faced Kafka called out from his place against a side wall.

He had braced a hand against the painted brick wall to support himself from falling over. If anyone other than Reno had any previous knowledge as to what Kafka was hiding inside himself, they would have noticed the spidery cracks spreading out from his hand-print on the wall. A distracted Hoshina whipped his head around to view the intruders behind him.

"Oi! Reno, Iharu, did you know Comedy Relief here has a tattoo?" Hoshina declared as he jabbed his thumb at it, pivoting to the side a little to show it off better.

"I wasn't ready to talk about it just yet!" Kafka squeakily snarled through gritted teeth, not trusting himself to move.

"I don't see why not? It's a beautiful piece." Hoshina countered as he turned back to look at it some more.

"He's not going to get kicked out for that, is he?" Reno asked as he quickly moved over to where everyone was standing.

Getting closer, the two of them got a better look at what their Vice Captain was looking at. What initially looked to be an ornately decorated Oni Mask tattoo became more and more interesting the longer they looked at it. The first notable thing was the horns. Instead of being curved, they pointed straight out and had stair-stepped protruding lines running from their points all the way down. The eyes looked like complicated stained glass windows and its mouth had a wooden door and crumbling pillars acting as its tusks and teeth. Its ears had church bells for earrings and arch-buttresses protruding out over its rounded cheeks, decorated with tiny gargoyles.

"Oh, please. A large portion of the JAKDF is powered by rebels. We would be alienating over half of our strongest members if we didn't allow a little self expression." Hoshina assured as he tiled his head side to side, still staring at the art on Kafka's upper thigh, "Did you ever say where you got this done? I'd love to meet the artist."

"I, uh, got it while on a backpacking trip through Germany. I chatted up this girl I met at a rock concert and managed to sweet talk myself into a discounted piece." Kafka answered as he pursed his lips.

"Huh." Hoshina mused, "Out of the question to ask you to remember her name, I take it?"

"Definitely. She made me delete her number after she caught me flirting with her brother." Kafka answered as his eyes flickered briefly of shame from the memory.

While they talked, Iharu had saddled up to Aoi and Haruichi to inquire what was going on.

"What the hell happened?" Iharu started as he crossed his arms casually.

"So I saw Kafka walk out from the showers, yeah?" Haruichi whispered as he fought back a bout of giggles, "And I thought, "Hey, lets haze the Creepy Shinomiya Fanboy a little." I just wanted to steal his towel and snap it at him! I genuinely didn't know that the Vice Captain would walk in at the same time!" He shoulders continued to shake as the look in his eyes went a little crazed.

"And I don't think anyone would have expected the old guy to have a tattoo, nor the fact that Hoshina seems very interested in body art." Aoi noted in an even tone.

"Such a shame. I've felt inspired lately and I like the work done here." Hoshina smirked as a hand came up to the cheeks of the oni mask design and pinched them together a few times, "It's quite the expressive work."

Kafka's body immediately tensed at the sensation and caused more subtle cracks to appear on the wall. His entire face and chest flushed to an even deeper shade of red. Reno felt his heart sunk into his stomach out of surprise at the sight. Iharu's jaw dropped and Haruichi had to turn away before he completely lost control of his face.

"Well, make sure to be safe out there then." Hoshina sighed as he rose up from his knees, "I'd hate to see such a wonderful work of art get ruined." He turned on his heels and walked back out of the bathhouse automated doors.

"Take care." He concluded as he walked away, lazily waving goodbye.

Kafka had to take several deep breaths before the atmosphere returned to the room. Haruichi finally let out the roaring laughter he had been holding in the entire time, falling to his knees and flopping onto his side while holding his ribs. Aoi just shook his head.

"She caught you flirting with her brother?" Haruchi practically screeched as he tried to suck in some air into his abused lungs.

"Cut me some slack! He worked at a completely different tattoo shop!" Kafka shouted back as he tried to regain some semblance of control over himself.

"Why were you at another tattoo shop?" Aoi questioned with a cynical look.

"Probably getting another piercing." Iharu answered for him, "So, which one was it? The nose ring, the half dozen ear piercings, or the nipple studs?" He sarcastically prodded which added on another year to Haruichi's laughing fit.

"It... was actually... the tongue piercing." Kafka gritted out as he pulled the towel back around his waist.

Iharu and Reno immediately looked each other in the eye, pointed at the other and shouted "Fifteen!"

"Excuse me?" Aoi inquired bewilderedly.

"We'll explain later." Reno offered to tide him over.

"And with that ordeal over with, I'm just going to skip the bath and just take a very long, very cold shower." Kafka groaned as he walked away from everyone.

As Iharu and Reno moved over to help Haruichi regain the concept of a regular breathing cycle, the two of them wondered if that was going to be the last they were ever going to hear about this trip through Germany. Nothing could have prepared the Third Division for how much another man's adventure through loss, heartbreak, and consequences would envelop their lives.

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OH! Before I forget: I drew this a long time ago for this particular fic actually. Just pretend that it has hyper-realistic shading like what you would find on grayscale tattoos and a shit-ton more details. (German churches are fucking insane looking) And yeah, Surprise! It's based on German Church Architecture.

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Okay, not to ruin the fun vibes I tried to set up here, but I've gotta talk about a few things. Mainly my future as a writer. (God, I'm already making this sound worse than it is) Less important stuff out of the way first.

Anything involving this Story Line will not be posted to Ao3, yet. I am going to wait until I feel like I have written enough about this and come up with a satisfying conclusion before I shove all this into a multi-chaptered one-off fic over on xXMechanicalDuchessXx at Ao3. That way, it can all be read at one time. I get its part of the culture on Ao3 that you're supposed to be patient and wait for your faves to upload their newest chapter when they feel like it, but that ain't me. So much so, that it'a become a problem for something else.

The other problem is that I've had a few things on my mind. Recently, I posted a smut fic here and onto Ao3 that... well, I wouldn't say it didn't do well, but I'm used to a much warmer reception to when I post my writing. To be fair, it was a smut fic and I recognize that to some it isn't their cup of tea, not to mention that it was about a less recognized pairing. (Which makes no fucking sense to me, it was fucking IhaReno, their shit should be treated way more popular.) But for a few days, it didn't gain any traction on either platform... like, at all. And for a moment I was kind of upset. Like, considered never posting smut here ever again upset. Which, looking back now, might have been an overreaction.

That being said...

YA'LL NEED TO FUCKIN' THANK MY BESTIE @iceclew FOR THE SHIT SHE DOES FOR ME. IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FACT THAT I SPECIFICALLY WAITED FOR HER REVIEW TO COME OUT BEFORE I TALKED ABOUT THIS SHIT, WE WOULD BE HAVING AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT DISCUSSION RIGHT NOW.

(it also helped that I just now saw Ao3 Offical's post here talking about some sort of updating error that was posted around Valentine's day, which was the day I posted... that healed me a little as well.)

Needless to say, I feel like I should update everyone on the status of some WIP's that I've been wanting to work on, and thanks to some soul searching during those days I was patiently awaiting the review, I can now fully explain.

To start with, There were three fics on my mind. This one, another IhaReno fic with a twist, and a KafHoshi fic that has been in an indefinite working hiatus since probably last year. With the somewhat lackluster reception of my latest fic, I had briefly considered that I might have lost my touch with how I write characters. I have been complimented on it and have continued to pride myself with accurate retelling of their characterizations.

My Achille's heel when it comes to doing this, is Reno. Every time I put pen to paper about this man, (Or, I guess I should say fingers-to-keyboard) I can never tell if I'm doing him justice. I find it incredibly hard to strike a good balance of being a cool, collected, and calm-natured soldier with the occasional outbursts of explosive emotions he's prone too when he's in situations he's not sure of himself in. This current fic you have undoubtedly read will be exploring a take I have on Kafka I'm not sure many people would agree with. Not only that, most of it will be featuring this take through the third person perspective of either Iharu, Reno, or both. Needless to say, my faith in myself was briefly shaken. Thank you again Ice for restoring that.

TL:DR, I will be continuing this fic, I shall just give no fucks about it.

The IhaReno fic follows a similar problem. It's A fic written entirely from Reno's point of view, meaning I have to write that story from the standpoint of his internal monologue. Which, as I have just stated, I still don't have the best grasp of the man. The First Person POV I have no problem with, I've worked with it before. Still, that particular fic is probably not going to see daylight for a while yet, but thats where you lot come into play. I would greatly appreciate any helpful commentary on THIS line of fics specifically surrounding how I could write Reno better. This isn't a ploy for compliments, I GENUINELY feel like I can't write him well enough.

This fic will also be doing double duty as well when it comes to the final and biggest matter at hand, the KafHoshi fic. I had gone into that fic thinking it would just take me a couple months, not suddenly devolving into requiring almost Eight full chapters, which is something I had no previous experience with. I have since learned that I do have the capacity to write that much, I just haven't gotten there yet. That is something I have to work for, an entirely alien feeling for me. ( Not in the sense that I've never had to work for something, but that this is the first time I've ever had the desire to.)

It didn't help that I've been wanting to post all "Eight" (HOPEFULLY it stays to eight) chapters all at once, so as to avoid the possible emotional guilt that would haunt all my days should I have became burnt out on the story and not update it for years at a time. However, to accomplish this task, I was restraining myself from posting every other paragraph because I was desperate for the energy I could gain from all the possible praise and comments I could get from doing so. As an alternative, I hope that from working on this fic and posting the chapters piecemeal, I could built the mental fortitude necessary to bring myself to continue what I'm is sure to be My Personal Odyssey.

I'm sure most of you are going to skip this part, but screw you I feel better now.