#i probably should have brought merch but i actually was not crazy about the con’s theming (it’s…giving a bit too parasocial for my taste) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunlightfeeling · 2 months ago

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I genuinely feel like I dont have a right at all to complain or talk negative about Japanese fans but like……..the evident cliqueish-ness of honestly what looks like a very unfortunate larger chunk of them ……😮‍💨

like i gotta be honest the concert was a lot more isolating than it actually already was in itself because of the vibes at least a couple of clusters of fans gave me

#ramblin but not a gamblin man #like there’s a point where the pretty fixed staring or being like….physically distanced by everyone just gets…..unnerving #like the train back was completely fucking packed #except for in the space in front of where i was sitting…..lol #there was room for at least two people to stand if only people had actually consolidated and scrunched #like they had been doing the entire motherfucking way through transit and back #but i guess fuck them they can wait for the next train??? sure that makes sense #like i have never felt MORE uncomfortable and self-conscious being a smap/takuya fan #he’s the only piece that actually matters at the con tho 🫰#i probably should have brought merch but i actually was not crazy about the con’s theming (it’s…giving a bit too parasocial for my taste)#and I didn’t even consider bringing gwtf or next destination merch but i probably should have #but it’s not actually /mine/ so then i would think about how everyone that has theirs maybe probably ACTUALLY went to the concerts #that was another thing tho which is absolutely stupid because the whole point of a con is to SHOW OFF the stuff #but it was actually like……..off putting to me…….#idk maybe it’s cuz i innately have a weird ‘relationship’ with smap/individual members in that they aren’t normal-level interests #it just wasn’t sitting right with me seeing hoards of fans with bags..shirts..hats..all kinds of stuff lol #and it’s so hard NOT to have a defense mechanism like ‘I wonder if that person likes smap or /just/ takuya….’#and ‘did you actually want to come to the concert or mostly/just because you think he’s hot/cool/etc etc?’#esp validating seeing TWO people yawn during the con which was genuinely pretty disgusting/distasteful lmao #like that’s worse than leaving early why are you EVEN HERE #sorry okay i could probably vent more but i actually shouldnt and also i might end up talking in circles but #he was genuinely…………so amazing im eternally grateful that i had the opportunity to see him live #and if there is a smap reunion………..#….i genuinely think smapchat should storm it #be our own ✨clique✨#(but like…actually nice and kind and probably how takuya would want his fans to be ie not thickly-layered judgment [heehee :3])#(im also actually kind of so serious ???)

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