#i wish it wasnt work to love us
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
The average Tumblr user visits about 67 pages every month.
Text
yeah. it hurts seeing both of them like we used to be with him. shit dude. and on top of that we like. man *I* know Tim will never like me. and Im fairly certain Jasper never will again anyway. not that Sienna will ever believe me if I bothered to tell her that.
#whatever#Sienna isnt the one upset like I am at least...#unless she knows something I dont somehow....#but this hurts this hurts this hurts#i wish Jasper liked us#i wish we were likeable#i wish it wasnt work to love us#i wish we could just all dissapear and give jasper some robot of how sienna used to be#i hate this and I hate us and I hate the way I am#WHY IS SHE NOT MORE UPSET???#SHE SEEMS TO THINK THINGS WILL WORK OUT IN THE END#AS IF#NONE OF THE EFFORT WE EVER PUT IN IS EVER FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGED#THE SECOND HE PUTS ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN HIM TO “TELL THE TRUTH” HE SAYS ITS ALL LIES#HOW DO WE TRUST A SINGLE POSITIVE WORD HE SAYS ABOUT US WHEN HE BETRAYS EVERY SINGLE LIE LATER THAT NIGHT#we arent wanted here#we might as well fucking leave#but thats just my opinion#not that it matters to *him* because Im just an Alter and he doesnt like any of us
0 notes
Text
tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything
#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism.#sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art...#i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this.#but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again.#its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years.#im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again...#but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it.#anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human.#i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable#but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start#ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
#text#polls#im rly curious abt this#i havent painted in foreverrr :{ i took an oil painting class that i loved but working with paint that never dries was difficult#but also helpful to be able to wipe it off even like a week after i fucked up lol#i liked it tho !! i wish id gotten to spend more time on my final bc it was so fun but i wasnt quite done#literally went in with a paint pen like last month to touch up some stuff#might go try and finish it fully but idkkkk. i dont have oil paints so id have to do it in acrylic and idk how easy itd be#ANYWAy#ive never worked with ink before and i only have worked with oil paint in that class#but the other three ive used a lot and when it comes to on Paper and not canvas#acrylic dries fast which is difficult for me#and watercolor dries slow bc. thats water. and it doesnt always go where i want it to#so usually i prefer gouache bc its a little thicker but not too thick and it dries quick but not too quick. a happy medium#just like goldilocks#on canvas tho i usually prefer acrylic#i think bc i get scared to use up my gouache paints on a bigger canvas#^saying all this and i havent painted in months. </3#im not even particularly good at it i just like it. makes me happy#waugh. its nice out today maybe i'll go out and paint :} it miught rain tho#so who knows
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not sure if I'm sabotaging my relationship or not but I feel like I'm in the right ? Perhaps ?
#personal#basically we're long distance but I couldn't see him on a weekend because of unavoidable circumstance#we were going to go to his friends wedding but I couldn't make it.#but hes been sending me photos of my empty seat next to his at the venue#and telling me constantly that I would've loved it#so I took issue with it bc i wasnt enjoying that#and he's gone into panic mode and thinks I'm accusing him of being a 4D chess manipulator#and low-key he kind of is. Unconsciously I think but still manipulative.#he uses the whole 'woe is me' and 'I'm just a terrible useless creature pls pity me' bit way too often.#if we have a slightly uncomfortable conversation he will stop engaging with me and try to distract by telling me he loves me.#like literally 'so what do you think?' ... '[laughs nervously] I love you :'')...' imagine that being the only response he gives for an hour#so I've called him out on his difficulty with sincerity and he's just doubling down on the 'pls pity me' stuff and frankly...#i really don't like it#the wedding thing was kind of nothing but his reaction to it was telling#pulling out the whole 'I am horrified you'd think that' guilt-tripping nonsense#followed immediately by 'you overestimate my intelligence if you think im capable of that :'')' pity party.#just. not promising. not good vibes.#to elaborate on the wedding bit: I made the decision that I couldn't make it bc of a busy work week.#he assured me several times that it was okay if I couldn't make it but he stopped messaging for a day after I told him I couldn't#then sent me a photo of my empty seat with a crying emoji and telling me that he wishes I was there and that i would've really loved it#that's not a message sent with the intent to make me feel good is it?#idk reading this back it sounds like an overreaction from me but with the context of my experience with him this is not an isolated thing#it's kind of perpetually like this. then when called out on it he pulls out the love-bombing but doesn't address the actual issue.#idk. idk.#if anyone wants to engage with this post feel free. Any outsider perspective would be welcome.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....
#i wish it was in English#bcs i would be very happy about it#but i have lost so much capacity for any German writing#bcs he sucks so much as a prof and has dropped the ball on actual language learning imo#how am i supposed to suddenly write a 7-8 pg paper after youve spent all our class time just lecturing at us#and giving us no real opportunity to really learn or test our skills#i shall.. probably just cheat.#LIKE i want to learn german so badly#but what the fuck is the point of even trying when i know im not going to get actual feedback on my writing#why should i even try at that point. put that much effort in and know that he doesnt really care at all#it just sucks so much bcs i genuinely love and am so fascinated w the topic#but the idea that id put so much work into translating it only for him not to read it really kills me#again. just submit boy king fic and see if he notices sjfkgllblb#but do you know what i mean? like im sure ill write a good version in english that i think is actual good content#but translating it is such a lost cause bcs all the effort is reallt for nothing#like atp im jusy interested in the history more than making an effort w the language#ugh i wish i wasnt this way but yknow lack of stimulation anf feedback really kills my enjoyment and interest#like see i can convince myself that thr eng version of teh paper is my typical personal research#<- i mean im making a fucking family tree for funsies so this isnt that far off#but the translation part is so difficult bcs my german has been eroding a bit SOB SOB#lol anyways i say this bcs i was plotting a boy king fic in my head as i was goong to bed#and was like oh i shoulf write it out tmr! and then remembered I HAVE AN ESSAY UGH#well yeah. suffering. we'll see how i feel abt i write the original copy and if i have the capacity to germanify it#i just feel so guilty about it. cheating. I dont want to and it feels so low effort and terrible#but why would i force myself thru all that for a guy who barely reads it#catie.rambling.txt
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
i will prob never visit the us unless for work reasons bc the thought of being there scares me more than the thought of flying there. i would love to go though... im just scared
#txt#i get scared bad things will happen to me no matter where i go (knife crime knife crime knife crime)#i think abt the acid attavks from a few years ago every time i step off the train in a city#and the manchester bombings#the us to me just in my head is everything in the uk with guns as well and 10000000000x more regular and horrible#id love to go to your museums and stuff though... and go on tours and shit. visit the cool places... such a big place id love to somehow#visit every state but obviously i never will... maybe some day ill go to cali or florida or fucking... idk whats another state#tennessee#but only for work not for leisure#<- that being said my dad wants to go to ny on his 50th and if he wants me to join then well. i wouldnt stop him#hmmm#i could also get a uni course that allows a year studying in another country i could always pick the us#i can make opportunities for myself#anyway#RAAAHHHHHHH I WISH A TRIP TO THE US FOR HISTORY WASNT IMPOSSIBLE... SMIFFLE :( I DONT WANT TO GO TO 5 GUYS I WANT TO GO TO THE UNITED STATES#OF AMERICA
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
How it feels to watch minecraft diaries as a 21 year old woman
#the pyre#just passed the point where we meet kc for the first time#btw mcd season 1 is the only aphmau series I watch bc mcd after s1 has a major tonal shift that I cannot get behind#I never got far enough into mystreet to get introduced to all those new characters#and even as a middle schooler I knew that pdh was cringe#and I think she's had other big series outside these 3 but I've never watched#I think it's funny seeing aphmau b4 she rly started taking her rps more seriously and every character has a va#I still love her and the cast (at least the ones I'm familar with) but I wish all her content was brainrot meant to be consumed by toddlers#I check out her channel from time to time and b4 she p much only made videos with#zane kc ein pierce noi mac and ofc her husband#and she still does but I remember clicking on a vid a few months ago and lucinda was there!#and also I've seen garroth and katelyn make an appearance!#I used to love her vids in 2020 when she wasnt uploading rps but it was b4 she devolved into brainrot#like her “minecraft but the water rises” or “minecraft but we can only dig down” vids and I rly liked her#I think that the reason why aph is one of the few old popular mcyters who still is rly popular today is bc of her minigames#like seeing the charcters be all serious in mcd and then seeing them get along as friends in mystreet and then seeing jess and the vas get#along as friends in her minigame vids...amazing#and those vids are v reminiscent of those old vids I think we all love#but I bring this up bc I know that garroth would appear in those 2020 vids but then he kinda...disappeared#so I'm glad he's back even if it's just for one vid#but I havent seen katelyn since like....when pdh was still airing#so her appearance FLOORED me but in a good way#I just think it's funny how many connections jess has#like ppl joke about how theres a solid chunk of former vas who worked on jess' series who actually made it into the industry#good for them#also I wonder how many of the old vas she's still in contact with#and god jess#it's been FOUR years#you got popular for rping WHEN will you upload another rp?!?!?!?1#upload another rp and my soul is yours
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#hhhhhh reread the flashback chapter i wrote w d/dirk and just hooh boy i love it so much ugh#im tempted to post it on its own but i want to save that bomb of a scene for the middle of the larger fic its in#just ughhhhhhh i love everything about how i wrote d#im going nuts bc i have been working on it since like december? ish? but the past couple months have been hell for me personally#fuck like i remember going thru an entire calendar of movie release dates for that historical year and found the perfect spot#to where it accounts for historical events and events in canon and has its own special date and how the release of the movie...#...effects how d managed to make it a success and just#fuck man i researched the hell out of that and only had to put one anachronism to grease a moment in it#like#this fic is so big for me and i am so scared that i wont finish it bc i have so many things planned out for it and so many ...#...annotations i keep adding to modify things i wrote earlier in it (which is why im not publishing any of it yet)#i want to share it w the world so fucking badly but i keep getting amazing ideas to weave in from an earlier point i already wrote#cries lol#ughhh this is why im so tempted to post the flashback as a standalone chapter/separate posting#but#i wrote it to match a scene from both the previous and next chapter so i dont wanna ruin that either#fucking writers block man ahhhh wish my life wasnt shit rn bc i need to finish it#tag edit: i used the wrong spelling of affects earlier lol#but yeah ughhhh so frustrated w life rn i have such bigger problems going on rn but#rereading my fave chapter kinda just made my day at least lmao#personal#vent#kinda i guess#delete later / /#maybe idk lol#ShitPost.exe#like this wip is over 33k words and its probably not even halfway done in terms of event points i want to happen in it lmao fml#all bc i wanted to make one punchline happen which happened a long time ago before i wanted to write all that backstory into the fic
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I SHOULD HAVE GONE INTO RADIOOOOOOOO
#the only benefit of art school is MY FRIENDS!!! maybe i would be better at art now if i hadnt gone bc i could have kept it as a hobby...#but i do love everything i have learned. i really do. unfortunately i think more than anything i am just bad at existing and doing things#i used to be able to do things. in high school. existing i still wasnt good at doing that there either. but at least i did things on my own#and at the time felt i was good at them. now im just bad at existing and doing things and do nothing worthwhile that i love anymore#oh it sucks to have this realization every other day. to just know you are very bad at what you wanted to do so badly. and just feel like#all you can do is give up on it. i know i shouldnt. but it's very hard not to want to. when you see everyone else around you getting better#and still doing art on their own time. and you see your own stuff and realize you have gotten worse. dont progress. and cant even do it as#hobby anymore. when you see how far behind you are from everyone else and see how your work has lost confidence it just sucks badly. yknow#i wish my brain worked better desperately bc i do think that is part of it. but im just lazy. and bad at this. and have no drive for anythi#im not very good at any of this overall. and it makes me sad. im the only thing in my way of what i want but i dont know how to move forwar#oh well. one day something better will come my way if im lucky. if i do better. one day i'll do better. i hope. i really really hope.#static.soundz#vent.txt#SORRY i got whiney and self pitying in my tags even though i said i wouldnt well unfortunately I Am Not Strong and need to make posts#bc this is my diary where i say everything ever good and bad beneficial and detrimental bc what else should i be doing with this blog huh
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
my merch collection B)(i also have a miu standie and her goggles because have coolest friends-)
#like srsly would have less than half the collection i have if it wasnt for my friends/brother#i love my friends so much i need to give them the world#but ya! i love my friends#may art fair in where i am is about to happen soon and i have saved money to spend and im gonna see what i can get for others#i am also i think if i can get school work and everything else done with stuffs then i might start makin lil#merch designs. because i love drawin silly characters and wish to make designs my friends can like and use#so ya! be prepared!! mabey!! if i can ever get thingies done+!!!!!!!!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I find it genuinely hilarious how many signs there were pointing to us being a system from ages ago... As the host whos been here the longest I'm surprised I didn't look into it sooner, like I SERIOUSLY wondered on MORE THAN TWO SEPERATE OCCASIONS as a teen whether I had DID, but brushed it off both times because I thought "oh I'm not traumatised enough" and "you have to experience blackouts and time jumps and I haven't so I can't" (spoiler alert, I definitely was incredibly traumatised and I definitley have had blackouts before but even then I didn't know that those weren't fully necessary for a diagnosis).
And this is without getting into "my" love of any media that involved characters with alter egos, "multiple personalities", etc. Like I LOVED the Jekyll and Hyde musical when I found it, my favourite Total Drama character was Mike (the one with DID but like. when people still knew it as MPD. also he wasnt the best rep lol), I loved the Markiplier and Jacksepticeye egos, for a short time I was into Sander Sides, I had full on "characters" that were "aspects of my personality" but also next to them was just. My actual sona? Completely seperate from them, which actually represented me?
I just really thought I liked media with alternate egos/personalities but methinks the call was coming from inside the house sdjshsnsjsbdjdb
#talking tag#🌒 tag#any other systems have that kind of experience??#mostly adressing traumagenic systems soz endos i just have no idea how you all work /lh#i only realised it this year thanks to anti's help and even then we were bamboozled lmfao#uhhh idk how to tag this and im scared to tag too much svdbsbsb#did system#osdd system#dissociative identity disorder#otherwise specified dissociative disorder#i hesitate to use the tags 'actually did' cus even tho we're medically reconised we're still technically not diagnosed and-#-i really do feel that sweet sweet (/s) imposter syndrome + host denial kicking in#brain is silly ;w;#wishing i could be like anti and just not have anxiety#its crazy. i can feel how much less anxious he is when hes fronting and how easy it is for him to brush off anxious thoughts like#if he wasnt constantly in a state of mild sensory overload all the time i think he'd be too powerful /hj#i feel bad for him tho :c he loves fronting but its sensory hell for him#not to mention he has really bad heat tolerance which is ok for now while its winter in aus but we dont have an aircon so-#-when it becomes summer hes praying we get out of emergency housing by then so he doesnt have to suffer all day in the heat#sjdbsjbdbd adhd train of thought go off i guess
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
this may be because i am just a hater but a ballad of songbirds and snakes sucked
#i listened to the audio book and the narrator was so bad which i think contributed to half of my dislike for the story#he would do this shrill “um actually” voice for Snow's classmates#and an annoying girlish tone for lucy and maude and the singing he did for both characters actually made my ears bleed#but i digress#i just didnt really like that snow's evil backstory is a manic pixie dream girl he killed#i wish it wasnt a love story i wish collins did something different with his character#i really loved his betrayal to sejanus it made so much sense for his character it worked so well applause for that one#and also sick how he stole sejanus' money from behind the photo frame after executing him#sent it to tigress to have money#and then intercepted it before it entered the capitol to use for himself#all that just to become the heir of sejanus' grieving parents lmao#dirty dirty dirty#last point i loved how they didnt include snow's betrayal to Tigress in this novel#i was even thinking in the beginning of the novel that i hope snow does not betray tigress in his youth#just bc ... idk.. so much happens in our lives. and for his evil to all be explained in snow's life only from this age of 17/18 would feel#lazy#so yeah grateful for that slay suzanne collins slay
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
mmmmmm two sketchbook linebecks im pretty happy with
#as much as i love his coat it is very hard to draw. so no coat. or. shirt#my art#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#linebeck#tossing in my own rendition of shirtless linebeck. woe underweight linebeck be upon ye#i find that i draw heads too small. i have learned that#SERIOUSLY what the fuck happened i dont. im not an artist but these turned out so well and then what i drew after wasnt this good#did some like. artistic spirit pass through me long enough for me to draw these or something#his hair is a fucking mess but its fun that way#like the thing is these are good! thats not what i think linebeck’s face looks like tho#tbh in general he’s fucked he’s so difficult to draw. i have no idea how these two turned out do well but they did#the vibes are off and i am not skilled enough to fix it#but im happy with these#linebeck is doing so fucking bad in ph i bet. he doesnt notice the curse of the ocean king temple at first bc hes used to feeling godawful#that side profile looks GOOD i wish it looked more like how i imagine linebeck to look but it gets the idea down#SHOUTOUT TO VIKTOR ARCANE FOR BEING A REALLY GOOD FACE SHAPE REFERENCE FOR LINEBECK#second pic is a redemption. i have an older shirtless linebeck pic that i used myself as body reference for but it didnt turn out well#hence the viktor shoutout. in the first pic i fucked up his face but this time used viktor as reference and it worked
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that
#I've talked about this a lot with my sister who is also autistic#and were both like. on a similar level of autism i dont know how to properly explain it#were functioning in similar ways i guess#and we both agreed that we're in this awkward spot of being autistic#where we're not suited for living in this world the way we're expected#but we're good enough at surviving that we can't really ask for help#like from the government or smth#im not sure if im making sense#but like neither of us ever had a normal job for longer than a few days#she's incredibly lucky bc her boyfriend (also autistic lol) has rich parents#so he's able to have a small business where hes making youtube content and games and merch#and he gets financial support from his parents. so he can have the job he feels comfortable with and enjoys#and my sister is now able to work with him. theyre both making their silly little games and trinkets and are able to live normally#which is just so great for her i love that. im also so jealous lmao#and then theres me who also is made for creating art and not much else but im not lucky enough to be able to do that and survive#idk. my mom is great and doesn't put too much pressure on me. she was the one to take me to that blueberry job#and she really supprts my plans to be an artist full time#but still. thats really difficult to do. ugh#sometimes i wish that i either wasnt autistic at all or was 'less functioning' so at least i could get some help with living#bee buzz
9 notes
·
View notes