#i was afraid of everything
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Dreams of luxury from the noughties.
#crazy what love can do#when i took this photo i was singing along to in the shop#it's not like i'm proud of it#i wish i was still shy like i was in the noughties#i was afraid of everything#i loved that luxury-glitter-chic in fashion magazines while trying to avoid very girly and/or pink things irl#and now i can like it all again without prejudice#photographic pictures#wrap me up in diamonds#cover me in gold#Š“Š¾ŃŠ¾Š³Š¾-Š±Š¾Š³Š°ŃŠ¾
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14 year old artists listen to me right now (gripping you by the shoulders) STOP caring about your "internet presence" right naow. Draw slower and stop trying to boil your art down to an acceptable marketable brand
#stop trying to finish every piece in one session so you can post more often... you're hurting yourself in the long run#i know from personal experience !!! please#you also don't have to post everything you draw... don't be afraid to do studies in case they look bad#you're not obligated to post them. studies probably will look shit at first but it's fine
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the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid
#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#the book of bill#tbob#young ford pines#turtlearts#also sorry i got the heights devastatingly wrong fidds is so damn short here im sorryyy#for the record i was thinking of when mcgucket and ford reunited at the end where he actually is much shorter and smaller so erm idk man#please dont be mad#also i KNOW this is not lore accurate or whatever and i made it so much more sappy (?) than how it actually went but my hobby is being sapp#so leave me alone <3#also i do love me a ford thats afraid of vulnerability so theres also that haha#my favorite thing to draw was the first panel of fids with the banjo and then the 2nd to last picture#everything else looks like shit sorry#but i haaadd to post it ok . i have nothing else so dont complain and eat up kids#also do NOT laugh at my piss poor comic skills. literally dont even i swear to god
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Player progression
#dst#dst fanart#dst wilson#wilson dst#wilson p higgsbury#triumphant wilson#doodle#I remember first time playing and being so afraid of everything#but now I see anything Im just like š«µšļøšļøY o u
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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you're a good kiddo
#rain world#rain world au#rain world oc#rw pioneer#rw huner#slugcat#slugpup#artificer's pups#ask blog#step-dad hunter š#the dad who stepped up ššš#a smol comfort drawing because yet again i want to do everything but my responsibilities#i'm afraid no asks will be answered until AF is over lol#a week more to go...#i really like the bg in this idk how i did that
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EA's leaves are kind of dull, and I personally think TNW's are too bright, so here's my spin on a leaf default + a new mod :-D
Leaf variety mod
There are 4 different leaf textures in the game files but only one is used. I talked with @shastakiss some years(?) ago and she mentioned an unfinished mod Neder started working on to make the leaf use different textures. Unfortunately, Neder couldn't get it to work. Shasta kindly sent me said mod and I handed it over to @lamare-sims last year who of course managed to fix it (thank you so much once again, you're a legend!!)
Note #1: worth mentioning, this mod will only affect leaves that spawn after you've installed the mod! the same goes for my mesh fix included in the default below. Note #2: if you already have this mod in you dl-folder, delete that file and use the one from this download if you're planning on using my default (otherwise my uv-map and texture edit will not work).
Defaults
Replaces all 4 leaf-textures with new, more colorful and less blocky textures. I also edited the "effect"-textures of single leaves (the ones falling from the trees). This default can be used without the mod mentioned above, but then only the "original" texture will be used - see second image.
The leaves that spawns under the tree (the one sims can't rake), it was impossible to make it look good with any of the four textures, so I re-mapped it and gave it it's own texture (256x256px). There's also an optional default for the rake included, I edited a tiny error in the mesh and gave it a texture makeover. I made a separate LOD90-default for the leafpile (meaning: the mesh in neighborhood view) and instead of replacing the textures I repo'd them, meaning that the LOD90 default works with any leaf texture default you might use (it will only be showing one texture in neighborhood view).
Texture sizes are all the same as EA's:
Leaves: 512x512px x4 (my default +1: 256x256px)
Rake: 128x256px
Leaf effects: 32x32px x3
Edited leaf-related cc
I edited Sophie-David's leaf pile pet bed (the mesh) and repo'd it to leafpile_txtr, meaning the mesh will now pick up my default (or any other default you might have for leafpile_txtr, and if none - EA's original texture). The mesh now needs seasons + pets, since it's repo'd. Their recolors are not included, so be sure to download them from the link above if you want them and replace their mesh with mine!
I also edited Shakeshaft's leaf cover mesh (warning T$R) , I repo'd it to one of the leaf textures and made recolors - also repo'd - to the rest of the textures. This mesh and recs now need seasons, this also means that the mesh and recolors* can be used without my default.
*with the exception of rc4, which is repo'd to my custom leaf texture, found in my leaf default.
Recommended mod
I recommend simler90's Gardening Rake Leaf Pile Mod or jfade's leaf pile fix (I have no idea what the difference between those two mods are, they edit the same thing so choose one of them).
Nothing in this download is dependent on each other* so feel free to pick and choose what you want :-) remember you can only have one default for the leaves, meaning that if you have any other default (1, 2, 3, 4) or Shakeshaft's/Sophie-David's original meshes, make sure you remove them before installing my files. Everything has been compressed to reduce file size, as usual. Do let me know if I messed up anywhere!
*with the exception of rc4, see above.
DOWNLOAD: SFS | MTS
Credits: Neder, @lamare-sims (many many thanks!!), @shastakiss, Sophie-David, Shakeshaft and lasty EA.
#ts2cc#sims 2 custom content#sims 2 default replacement#dl: default replacement#dl: object default#dl: mod#omg I ramble so much im so sorry#the funny thing is im really quiet irl and so afraid to be a bother#but on my download posts? i TALK#i just have to explain everything and in great detail#my brain just says i have to do it#it's hard to explain#everytime i make a post here on tumblr i always think back to that one anon - saying they miss my posts#that's literally my most treasured ask hahaha you anon are the reason i dare to post#i swear to god even in the tags i ramble
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thinking again about that "curse the fate that brought me here" line they just threw in the journal.
considering ford had felt so drawn to the town because of its weird and unique qualities, he had attached a sense of connection to it with himself. for so many years he had felt like it was a place of sanctuary where he could be the scientist and the man he wanted to be. to now view that fate as something to be regretted is so heartbreaking. he no longer feels that safety and that happiness he felt being there. in the time that he was quickly losing his mind, he probably felt like all the amazing things he once enjoyed were a illusion for something else. something really awful that ford unintentionally had a hand in. the town is no longer the place he finds a sanctuary in. it's actively trying to kill him. and we can imply he's saying that, in that very moment, he wish he never came.
#fucks me up man#hi. it's 5am#thoughts#even if the rest of the town wasn't (like bill) trying to kill him I think it would've been hard to convince him of that fact#I think he was probably just so afraid of everything being in bills spiderweb that he couldn't fathom the feeling of safety
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weird blue girls
#homestuck#vriska serket#june egbert#terezi pyrope#i like them so much. my top three favesies forever im afraid#it sucks that so many of their interactions are built on a foundation of 'everything is really really fucked up right now'#whatever triple moirailleigance up in this bitch#they need to be able to do more stupid shit together i need them to be sticking forks in toasters at three am or something like that#john egbert#for the clout..... sorry......... for my shallow nature.........
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favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this
#the first time he did it in unmortricken i was like Fuck Yes and little did i know he would just keep doing it the whole time#DESPERATELY hoping they keep both of these things. i Love when characters have tiny little habits sprinkled in their actions#to me these things kinda sorta symbolise him no longer being afraid to really be himself#like he no longer has to hide certain things about himself that inside of the cfc wouldve made him appear āsuspiciousā#since he IS like so much different than any other morty ever#also barely related but like. em is fundamentally such a good character bc everytime we see him heās feeling something different#in his first appearance he was cold and distant because at the time he was new to being free and was strictly focused on his goal and wasnā#even sure if it would work#in his second appearance he seemed hopeful and honest both of these things just being a trap to get the people of the citadel to trust him#and his old colder self unfurling near the end after he successfully becomes president#in his third appearance he seems giddy almost. heās constantly giggling before and after sentences and heās super eager to just Get The Hel#Out. and also to reveal the truth to morty prime. make it so that he doesnāt have to be the one to shoulder everything anymore.#and this fourth appearance. apart from a few little details he really just seems happy and comfortable. the entire episode he was just doin#whatever he wanted and nobody got in his way at all. and i could not be happier#normal about this character!#rick and morty#evil morty#rick and morty spoilers#odiespeak
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It's racist, my dear, to be blunt. People come from outside, they think we're all witches and druids. For God's sake, child, you walked into a piece of string!
#dwedit#doctor who#usertennant#userteri#userdiana#usertreena#miatendos#ruby sunday#enid meadows#roger ap gwilliam#*#this whole thing was just so interesting???#like supposedly the fairy circle meant nothing and mad jack is just a story they made up#but then where did the woman (who is definitely real and definitely supernatural in nature) come from.#what was she saying to people to make them afraid of RUBY. SPECIFICALLY.#why did they call her a HERALD to MAD JACK. then she was used to defeat roger. who by complete coincidence is also called mad jack.#(hey you know what else you could call a herald. perhaps... a prelude. maybe even... a harbinger)#how did ruby TURN INTO the woman when she (i have to assume) died of old age#AND MAYBE MOST IMPORTANTLY. IF OLD DEAD RUBY STOPPED THEM FROM BREAKING THE CIRCLE. WHICH STOPPED EVERYTHING ELSE.#THEN IS ROGER AP GWILLIAM NOT GOING TO REMAIN AS PRIME MINISTER IN 2046?????#or even though that timeline was erased did it still happen Enough for him to... lose? still resign but this time for no reason???#and WHY are we probably NEVER GOING TO GET ANSWERS TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS#AND WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE DOCTOR FOR 70+ YEARS
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speaking of wounds sometimes I see posts on here that are like "discussion/depiction of wounds is more about metaphorical intimacy nobody means they're literally erotic" like no they're sexual actually. to me.
#they have fluids & everything people are just afraid to be Conceptually Messy#thoughts#meat tag.#this isn't about op of the last post btw i have faith in them. some of the notes however
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hey shoutout to dndads fans with DID/dndads fans who are part of a system. i love you! and also shoutout to BIPOC dndads fans. i love you too! im really saddened by fans being shitty and also cast being shitty. yall are amazing and im sorry there are fans/cast members who try to tell you otherwise ā¤
#on GOD i will do everything in my power to make my blog a safe space for you <333#and i always have anon on for when i inevitably fuck up and get something wrong!!#i strive to have a space where nobody feels afraid to call me on my bullshit. im white and stupid!! i will get it wrong!!#anyway. Beth May stop fucking tweeting ableist bullshit challenge#dndads#dungeons and daddies#beth may
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in case you are in the mood to feel devastated hereās an alternate way of viewing charlesā response to edwinās confession:
we know that charles kinda puts edwin on a pedestal- yes they are partners but there is a bit of a hierarchy between them. charles just looks up to and admires edwin in so many ways while constantly looking down on and being really hard on himself. he puts on his big happy persona because he thinks that people wouldnāt like him if they actually got to know him.
so when edwin confesses, itās like a blow to him. he took his charming persona too far and went and tricked the most important person in the world into thinking he was worthy of love. and itās worse because he does love edwin in that way, which is exactly why he canāt let him know that. charles still believes that he is like his dad, and he saw exactly what his parentsā relationship did to his mother.
he thinks that loving edwin in the way that he wants to would only cause more pain to this boy who has already been through far more than he deserves. so he blinks back his tears, attempts the same charming smile heās used all these years, and dishes out the gentlest non-rejection in the history of forever
#i donāt really think this is what happened but my brain just loves to add an extra sprinkle of angst to everything#but honestly the more that i study that scene the more i think this is a possibility#at least to some extent#like specifically his facial reactions after edwin says heās in love with him#he looks panicked and devastated#almost like it was something he thought about before and was afraid of it happening#and then he cracks his little joke to downplay it because he isnāt ready to accept that whatās really happening#because he already had to watch edwin get dragged away before he could step in to protect him and now this#his two worst nightmares became reality in hell#anyways i do think heās just oblivious and will figure it out in season 2#but i just wanted to ramble#i do think a lot of the reason why he has to figure things out is because heās afraid heās a bad person#so itās more him figuring out if heās good enough to love edwin rather than if he actually does#okay iām done yapping for now#dead boy detectives#payneland#charles rowland
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Sometimes I think about when Minthara first joins camp after you save her from Moonrise. She sits in her tent, alone at night, surrounded by strangers who she believes have every reason to kill her. She sits there paranoid, feeling that they will just kill her at any moment for any reason. You have earned a small sliver of her trust, but not completely. And she goes along with you and everyone because she really doesn't have much of a choice. And it's not like her fears are unfounded, some of the companions do state their reservations about her when she is first recruited (and one of the companions actually does want her dead if a certain datamine ever gets added to the game).
She only comes to completely trust you when you allow her to read your mind. But, it doesn't clear her of any paranoia with the other companions. She only trusts them because you trust them, and she trusts you.
In spite of this paranoia and fear, she is still willing to risk her life to protect them and save them from whatever trouble comes their way. Even if she won't admit it, she does care about all the companions in camp. Yes, even the wizard. But she feels that none of them will ever lift a finger for her and will let her die when she needs help the most.
One of the many reasons why Orin kidnapping her is so heartbreaking. Because ALL of the companions want to go and save her and get her back from Orin. And one of them is extremely outraged and pissed that Orin had the audacity to take her Minthara away from her. The one time the companions show unanimous love and support for Minthara, she isn't even there to hear it. If only she knew how much they wanted her back, she would probably stop being so paranoid of them.
And she attends the reunion party still thinking that nobody likes her and they all hang out without her. When in reality, they all love her. She is surrounded by people who love her, and she thinks they hate her and are still plotting to kill her. And it's all because she wasn't there to hear how much they do care about her.
#baldur's gate 3#minthara bg3#minthara#minthara baenre#if there is anybody who needs a group hug it's minthara#girl is so terrified of everyone and everything around her#afraid that she will be betrayed by them at any moment#but everyone comes to love her for who she is#and they would all do anything to help her when she needs them#also why the underdark ending as a default ending for her is so sad because she goes down there alone#feeling that she has no reason to remain on the surface and she's better off trying to conquer her house instead#fighting a fight that she already fears she will die in#and she would end up dying alone#and she has expressed on numerous occasions just how terrified she is of dying alone#i wonder if she would choose to stay on the surface if she knew how much everyone wanted her there#especially Karlach
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vanha kauppahalli date but the dessert edition aka the more enjoyable edition if not because sasha has a sweet tooth so we can like these foods freely
sasha in the midst of eating merengue and almost choking to death because he thinks any comment out of maffhews mouth is funny maffhew sweetheart we have to think about the effect we have on the people around us for a single second here
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#[insert my cake vs tart vs pie translations into eng rant here yes my eye twitched lets move on.]#im sorry has maffhew never had merengue in his life girl you live in soflo with so many hispanic bakeries#wdym you dont know how to eat merengue yeah if you use that much force its gonna cave in on itself šššš#(man who grew up in america) ānever afraid of that [powdered sugar]ā#man with texture issues likes the spongy cake and not the one thats texture hell because its airy and dry#and if youre not used to it feels weird. shocker!#as someone w texture issues if its a really bad day i cant even eat it either despite how much i like it yeah i get its a chalky texture#but girl we do have to take you on like a pastry soflo tour im so serious#runebergin torttu reigning superior yeah#kills me the way maffhew just repeats everything wrong and im like oh his ears are POPPED popped after that flight huh#my guy hows your auditorial processing just asking#ākeep the flagā sasha hes sentimental don't encourage his trinket collection#ārunebergin torttuā āroodoboo stars?ā its like talking to my grandmother at this point its beautiful#the 1619 date is intricate huh boys
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