#it is for me. thank god. I needed it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
To the âthemes I am picking up on in Veilguardâ list, let's go ahead and add what I have a sneaking suspicion will actually turn out to be The theme:
â the world has changed and can never be as it was again.
â I have been changed and can never be who I was again.
â in this simple unavoidable truth there is endless grief and endless hope.
And I⌠may be getting a bit emotional about it haha. Let me show my work a bit:Â
if da:o is a game about people who are already dead or half ghosts in some form (through societal forces, psychologically, functionally, literally, in body, through the joining etc.) coming together anyway to save the world from being swallowed by total nihilism and despair (symbolized by the blight) through the power of love and friendship and also this sword/potential heroic sacrifice that I found, da2 is a game about people who have lost their homes and been set adrift finding and building new homes in each other (while completely failing to save the world. also through the power of love and friendship. as well as years of petty bickering <3 we must imagine kirkwall if not happy then worth having been because the love was there the love was there and that's the only sanctifying force we can ever have in this doomed world and city of ours), and da:i is a game about old stabilizing-but-unjust comfortable lies vs. disruptive but potentially liberating uncomfortable truths, and the power of friendship to help us distinguish the one from the other and navigate through them...
folks⌠I'm starting to think that veilguard might be a game specifically about moving towards recovery and acceptance after trauma â about how even in this flawed, severed, scarred state, what is here right now is worth loving and worth caring for. even in an imperfect and impermanent world and self, there is worth and joy. and of course the first real tragedy â and threat â of Solas is that he just cannot find it in himself to accept this and move on, to let go of what was, the regret wonât let him go or he wonât let go of it. which means that even though on the surface itâs Elgarânan and Ghilanânain (and the will to subjugate and violate they represent) who are the main villains, the real antagonistic force in this story beneath that is the Dread Wolfâs despair. A despair Rook must make an answer to by the end of the game, one way or another, compassionately or with righteous fury, triumphant or pyrrhic.
The world will change again and again and so will you â BUT the crucial element is that so will everyone else who exists along with you, you are fundamentally not alone in this existential truth. all weâll ever have is each other and my god that is plenty, my god that is enough!!! Which is the second thing Solas just canât accept, he keeps himself separate and completely alone out of an awful mix of fear and pride and feeling himself unworthy of anything else. Rook and the player want to save the world of Thedas because itâs where everyone we love lives, Solas wants to go back to the past because thatâs the only neighbourhood where he can still visit those he loved â and the person he himself was, before. A very sympathetic and human instinct/trap to fall into when touched by trauma, I think, if only it wasnât backed by godlike power, a fundamentally oppositional personality, and a catastrophic lack of therapy to make it literally everyone elseâs problem too lol. Itâs varric and solasâ banter about the man on the island and where meaning in a life comes from all over again, writ large and with detail work â and the added idea of âwhat if there are also other islands out there, though. With other people on them that you could find if you reach for each otherâ. Rook with the best of intentions has to make choices to which there are no perfect outcomes and live with what happens â and not cut themselves off from everyone else around them even when there is regret or shame. You get back up every day and you make a life with other people doing the same and you do your best, and thatâs the only victory this world will give you. In the end, that is more than enough, that is essential. And I um. I love that. So much. Itâs why some of the writing clumsiness on top canât hurt me because this thematic spine is so solid and so beautiful to me. Itâs DA2 all over again that way for me personally â I forgive this story for what it isnât and couldnât be, and I love it with my whole stupid open heart for what it actually is. Thank you for coming to my TED-talk and goodbye etc.     Â
(For my fellow TLT heads out there â you know what this story is reminding me of most of all, actually? It has some big Nona the Ninth vibes down there in the deep. Itâs about⌠the horror and unspeakable beauty that can only be found in liminality, and the role of love in making that basic fact of existence bearable. And also even more unbearable at the same time. I'm so sorry.)
#I told you all I was going to be extremely myself about this. I suppose we all hoped I was joking. even while knowing I was not#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age meta#solas#varric tethras#anyway. at the end of the day and despite everything varric won the 'I told you so chuckles' rights over solas in this philosophical debate#and isn't that enough in a way. I think so. the world and the story of the world is his legacy. people get to keep telling it#I want to say so much about how each of the companions play into the different aspects of this theme but I should uh#probably finish the game properly first haha#guys I literally opened my eyes this morning and wrote out most of this before even getting up. the pressure cooker brain is back#the lone brain cell in here boileth over with dragon age feels & thoughts#very little sends me deranged quite like this series I'm afraid. I'm just still so relieved that even if this story isn't for everyone.#it is for me. thank god. I needed it
116 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I turn to Ares.
Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK
âď¸ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon
#greek mythology#ares#athena#greek gods#dont get me wrong it aint athena slander but it sure is ares praise#on some level at least#man justly accused of bad things deserves some mid praise more at 11#thank you romi for helping me with words though i duly noted you insisted on ares not being cautious rather than him not being careful#romi be like âi want him to careâ and honestly good you should say it#also EPIC led to this and i just..... i want to draw some animatics man i just need infinite time now#my long lost love for greek myths just will never stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming#i want some vulture design in here for ares but not sure about this one#kochei doodles
92K notes
¡
View notes
Text
I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuuji#megumi#deleted scene gege told me#god im not over 266 i will never ever ever be over 266#im so incredibly unwell abt them i cant believe this is the timeline we live in#itafushi friday....itafushi everyday.....#decided 2 forgo my usual miku and broke out the emo playlist fr this one . breaking my own heart :3#how many itfs embraces do i need to draw until i successfully manifest it in canon#gege i beg i plead pls let them H U G#they r so traumatized they r so touch starved pls hug pls contact pls Holds/Is Hold#anyway if megumi's height is inconsistent no it isn't <3 if he looks like 2 completely different ages no he doesnt <33#......kids r Hard guys gomen i tried my best#honestly it's probably not even that bad i think its the arm angle in the first one thts throwing me#i had to play around w it so much that i think im just tired of looking at it#megumi voice whatever !!!!!#thats not important the important thing is Itafushi Hug#and i do believe i met my quota in that regard#also yes my pen pressure Is still dying thank u fr asking but i did this fr them Anyway pls clap
7K notes
¡
View notes
Text
summer of junior year 06/11
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#fabian seacaster#adaine abernant#the bad kids#this is like. the First time I put down a palette for the kids lmao#I thiiiink its pretty consistent with the tones I did with my early sketches? iirc#gods. Ive been staring at this for Hours. I need to sleep lol#summer... it is happening. I feel like that always brings with it big emotions for me#it is. a little bit funny to me that whether these kids get a peaceful summer or not depends fully on how many roll20 campaigns happen#between now and a definitive end/last season of fh lmao#but also the last ''summer'' movie I watched was uhhh summer of 84. which. mmmmm#grim affair! so I'd need to stock up on less gloomy stuff to even think abt this...#well. what I need right now is sleep. so sleep I shall. thank u for tuning in today. see u again I think
4K notes
¡
View notes
Text
(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! đđđ
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just#crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door'#oh twst you always know just how to get me#the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD#SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!!#3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!!#SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH#oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things#also master chef grim! he's so precious!#though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all?#grim canonically flies in the nude i guess#no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE#if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration đ#which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna#anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody!#i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years#you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems
3K notes
¡
View notes
Text
âŚ..SO. AHAHAHAHAH. I finished reading Mistakes on mistakes until (technically I finished chapter 68 which is the last one currently~)
What a ride OH MY fuckINg god
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#my brain fried both from excitement and complexity#the whole story you are basically feel so so lost but so entertained#and then all small things you noticed start to come together#but in such cursed and unpredictable way#it is#oh my god#you NEED to read this fic if you havenât already#it is. SO GOOD#Jabberish if you are reading this#thank you for your writing#and thank you for bouncing off the walls with me#Iâll be watching this fic for updates#âŚâŚ.what do I do with myself now#how do I financially recover after this ahahahah#the person who recommended this fic to me is probably giggling right now lmao
2K notes
¡
View notes
Text
chillin in the hot springs đą
+ a closeup
#ok so after drawing this i realized a major anatomical error that i compeltely overlooked and its bothering me so much that i cant unsee it#but i like how the drawing turned out so im not gonna change it#its bc if theyre both sitting down in the pool. there is no room for nemesis. but i hope you all can imagine that the pool is very deep and#they are actually standing#ok please imagine that for my sanity thank you#in my og sketch they were at the right edge of the pool and they would both have room to sit in this position but i moved them#cause i thought it would look better compositionally#and just didnt realize that the anatomy wouldnt make sense that way lmfao#anyway hope yall can still enjoy this melnem fanart#melnem#hades 2#hades ii#melinoe#nemesis#fanart#my artwork#illustration#i need these two to kiss kiss fall in love asap#oh my god also i love the little detail of their painted nails on their in game artwork#so cute#melinoe has green nails and nemesis has red nails#im love them
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Light of the Kshahrewar â¨
#thanks kaveh for being the light of my life and my lighting study subject#guess who just found out that learning art fundamental is super important??#me đââď¸#damn i really need to study more#my art stopped progressing for ages#myart#genshin impact#kaveh#thank god genshin has been keeping me alive and not burned out haha
7K notes
¡
View notes
Text
yes & no by Natalie Wee | Trigun Ultimate Overhaul
#THIS HAS BEEN COOKING. FOR TWO MONTHS#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash#wolfwood#trigun maximum#mine#edit#trimax#trigun edit#tw suicide mention#for that one line#and#tw blood#hopefully there's nothing else I'm forgetting#long post#i guess#pls feel free to critique me on the alt texts I've never done it before and would love to know what I can do better#but uhhh yeah otherwise. enjoy my baby. I'm very proud of this#I do however need to not look at it for a while now#so aside from the IDs if there are mistakes. no there aren't <3#AND THANKS TO MY QPP EEE FOR LISTENING TO ME ENDLESSLY WORK ON THIS AND OFFERING ME INPUT AND CRITIGUE!!! <3333#god. it's finally done#edit: btw I could write so much on my choices in this and what I'm going for and little details. but I leave it to the masses to interpret
3K notes
¡
View notes
Text
I don't think Belos is taking it very well
First part (You are here) >> Next Part
First batch of this little series, inspired by @petitprincess1's idea! I couldn't get this scenario out of my head so of course I drew it.
Get ready because it will have at least 8 pages! Probably my longest comic yet
There will be some angst but the violence will overall be canon-typical!
#the owl house#the owl house spoilers#toh#toh fanart#toh comic#luz noceda#emperor belos#philip wittebane#pyralart#Sooooo many backgrounds in those pages oh my god#Back to the Human Realm#<-- Guess that'll be my tag for it I just came up with it#Also it's my personal headcanon that The Collector would speak with emojis sorry not sorry it's too funny and fitting to me#Little ipad kid and his stars and moon emojis <3#I need to do more with the collector too I love them#ok ok enough rambling#thanks for reading <3 I love u
5K notes
¡
View notes
Text
So I accidentally almost got into an argument on Twitter, and now I'm thinking about bad historical costuming tropes. Specifically, Action Hero Leather Pants.
See, I was light-heartedly pointing out the inaccuracies of the costumes in Black Sails, and someone came out of the woodwork to defend the show. The misunderstanding was that they thought I was dismissing the show just for its costumes, which I wasn't - I was simply pointing out that it can't entirely care about material history (meaning specifically physical objects/culture) if it treats its clothes like that.
But this person was slightly offended on behalf of their show - especially, quote, "And from a fan of OFMD, no less!" Which got me thinking - it's true! I can abide a lot more historical costuming inaccuracy from Our Flag than I can Black Sails or Vikings. And I don't think it's just because one has my blorbos in it. But really, when it comes down to it...
What is the difference between this and this?
Here's the thing. Leather pants in period dramas isn't new. You've got your Vikings, Tudors, Outlander, Pirates of the Caribbean, Once Upon a Time, Will, The Musketeers, even Shakespeare in Love - they love to shove people in leather and call it a day. But where does this come from?
Obviously we have the modern connotations. Modern leather clothes developed in a few subcultures: cowboys drew on Native American clothing. (Allegedly. This is a little beyond my purview, I haven't seen any solid evidence, and it sounds like the kind of fact that people repeat a lot but is based on an assumption. I wouldn't know, though.) Leather was used in some WWI and II uniforms.
But the big boom came in the mid-C20th in motorcycle, punk/goth, and gay subcultures, all intertwined with each other and the above. Motorcyclists wear leather as practical protective gear, and it gets picked up by rock and punk artists as a symbol of counterculture, and transferred to movie designs. It gets wrapped up in gay and kink communities, with even more countercultural and taboo meanings. By the late C20th, leather has entered mainstream fashion, but it still carries those references to goths, punks, BDSM, and motorbike gangs, to James Dean, Marlon Brando, and Mick Jagger. This is whence we get our Spikes and Dave Listers in 1980s/90s media, bad boys and working-class punks.
And some of the above "historical" design choices clearly build on these meanings. William Shakespeare is dressed in a black leather doublet to evoke the swaggering bad boy artist heartthrob, probably down on his luck. So is Kit Marlowe.
But the associations get a little fuzzier after that. Hook, with his eyeliner and jewellery, sure. King Henry, yeah, I see it. It's hideously ahistorical, but sure. But what about Jamie and Will and Ragnar, in their browns and shabby, battle-ready chic? Well, here we get the other strain of Bad Period Drama Leather.
See, designers like to point to history, but it's just not true. Leather armour, especially in the western/European world, is very, very rare, and not just because it decays faster than metal. (Yes, even in ancient Greece/Rome, despite many articles claiming that as the start of the leather armour trend!) It simply wasn't used a lot, because it's frankly useless at defending the body compared to metal. Leather was used as a backing for some splint armour pieces, and for belts, sheathes, and buckles, but it simply wasn't worn like the costumes above. It's heavy, uncomfortable, and hard to repair - it's simply not practical for a garment when you have perfectly comfortable, insulating, and widely available linen, wool, and cotton!
As far as I can see, the real influence on leather in period dramas is fantasy. Fantasy media has proliferated the idea of leather armour as the lightweight choice for rangers, elves, and rogues, a natural, quiet, flexible material, less flashy or restrictive than metal. And it is cheaper for a costume department to make, and easier for an actor to wear on set. It's in Dungeons and Dragons and Lord of the Rings, King Arthur, Runescape, and World of Warcraft.
And I think this is how we get to characters like Ragnar and Vane. This idea of leather as practical gear and light armour, it's fantasy, but it has this lineage, behind which sits cowboy chaps and bomber/flight jackets. It's usually brown compared to the punk bad boy's black, less shiny, and more often piecemeal or decorated. In fact, there's a great distinction between the two Period Leather Modes within the same piece of media: Robin Hood (2006)! Compare the brooding, fascist-coded villain Guy of Gisborne with the shabby, bow-wielding, forest-dwelling Robin:
So, back to the original question: What's the difference between Charles Vane in Black Sails, and Edward Teach in Our Flag Means Death?
Simply put, it's intention. There is nothing intentional about Vane's leather in Black Sails. It's not the only leather in the show, and it only says what all shabby period leather says, relying on the same tropes as fantasy armour: he's a bad boy and a fighter in workaday leather, poor, flexible, and practical. None of these connotations are based in reality or history, and they've been done countless times before. It's boring design, neither historically accurate nor particularly creative, but much the same as all the other shabby chic fighters on our screens. He has a broad lineage in Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean and such, but that's it.
In Our Flag, however, the lineage is much, much more intentional. Ed is a direct homage to Mad Max, the costuming in which is both practical (Max is an ex-cop and road warrior), and draws on punk and kink designs to evoke a counterculture gone mad to the point of social breakdown, exploiting the thrill of the taboo to frighten and titillate the audience.
In particular, Ed is styled after Max in the second movie, having lost his family, been badly injured, and watched the world turn into an apocalypse. He's a broken man, withdrawn, violent, and deliberately cutting himself off from others to avoid getting hurt again. The plot of Mad Max 2 is him learning to open up and help others, making himself vulnerable to more loss, but more human in the process.
This ties directly into the themes of Our Flag - it's a deliberate intertext. Ed's emotional journey is also one from isolation and pain to vulnerability, community, and love. Mad Max (intentionally and unintentionally) explores themes of masculinity, violence, and power, while Max has become simplified in the popular imagination as a stoic, badass action hero rather than the more complex character he is, struggling with loss and humanity. Similarly, Our Flag explores masculinity, both textually (Stede is trying to build a less abusive pirate culture) and metatextually (the show champions complex, banal, and tender masculinities, especially when we're used to only seeing pirates in either gritty action movies or childish comedies).
Our Flag also draws on the specific countercultures of motorcycles, rockers, and gay/BDSM culture in its design and themes. Naturally, in such a queer show, one can't help but make the connection between leather pirates and leather daddies, and the design certainly nods at this, with its vests and studs. I always think about this guy, with his flat cap so reminiscient of gay leather fashions.
More overtly, though, Blackbeard and his crew are styled as both violent gangsters and countercultural rockstars. They rove the seas like a bikie gang, free and violent, and are seen as icons, bad boys and celebrities. Other pirates revere Blackbeard and wish they could be on his crew, while civilians are awed by his reputation, desperate for juicy, gory details.
This isn't all of why I like the costuming in Our Flag Means Death (especially season 1). Stede's outfits are by no means accurate, but they're a lot more accurate than most pirate media, and they're bright and colourful, with accurate and delightful silks, lace, velvets, and brocades, and lovely, puffy skirts on his jackets. Many of the Revenge crew wear recognisable sailor's trousers, and practical but bright, varied gear that easily conveys personality and flair. There is a surprising dedication to little details, like changing Ed's trousers to fall-fronts for a historical feel, Izzy's puffy sleeves, the handmade fringe on Lucius's red jacket, or the increasing absurdity of navy uniform cuffs between Nigel and Chauncey.
A really big one is the fact that they don't shy away from historical footwear! In almost every example above, we see the period drama's obsession with putting men in skinny jeans and bucket-top boots, but not only does Stede wear his little red-heeled shoes with stockings, but most of his crew, and the ordinary people of Barbados, wear low boots or pumps, and even rough, masculine characters like Pete wear knee breeches and bright colours. It's inaccurate, but at least it's a new kind of inaccuracy, that builds much more on actual historical fashions, and eschews the shortcuts of other, grittier period dramas in favour of colour and personality.
But also. At least it fucking says something with its leather.
#everyone say 'thank you togas' for not including a long tangent about evil rimmer in red dwarf 5x05#Our Flag Means Death#Togas does meta#and yes these principles DO fall apart slightly in s2 and i DON'T like those costumes as much#don't get me wrong they're fun and gorgeous - but generally a bit less deep and more inaccurate. so. :(#I'm not sure this really says anything new about Our Flag but I just needed to get my thoughts out#i hate hate hate Gritty Period Drama costumes they're so boring and so ugly and so wrong#god bless OFMD for using more than 3 muted colours and actually putting men in heels (and not as a shorthand for rich/foppish villainy) <3#looking at that Tudors still is insane like they really will go to any lengths to not make men feel like they've got bare legs XD#image descriptions in alt text#and yes i DID just sink about two hours into those so you'd better appreciate them
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
boop! đđ¤
#drawing this reset me as a person my my crops are watered and my skin is clear#this is the most wholesome thing ive ever made in my entire life#based on the one panel from the mlp comic where theres sonilver hedgehogs in the background being absolutely adorable#i made. the lineart so cute and i was so worried about the rendering but im actually. pleased with it.#thank u silver your cuteness made my self criticism leave for a while....#this didnt even start out as really ship art but god they are so cute. what the hell. i need to go look at sonilver art.#i love silver...hes such a good guy#i recently read gotf and my love for him has grown tenfold (you can also probably see the inspiration in my colouring)#i am making a gotf fanart soon!!! i have a little sketch cooked up#it is sonadow as expected of course#anyways!! here are the two best boys for you#sonic the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#sonilver#my art
493 notes
¡
View notes
Note
Heard about the food poisoning. That really sucks. I hope you feel better soon đđđ
thank you! It wasn't great but I lived â
But this ask gives me context for my doodle woes
(when you've been throwing up so hard you sprain your abs)
(that's one thing the lab can't prep you for)
#an art#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#hajime hinata#super danganronpa 2#This trip has been something! A mix of paradise nice and kind of a disaster#I was knocked OUT by food poisoning for the full 24 hours but thank god it didn't happen on a day we had to drive#My travel mates were nice about it which made it worse. Who else can't stand it when ppl are gentle and helpful when you need it#Please just make fun of me or something if it was up to me I would be locked away in a cabin not depending on someone to go buy me a coke#And now I'm stuck alone in Prague for a day because my flight changed my layover from a couple hours to 24 hours#BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. MAKING THE MOST OF IT. YAY PRAGUE I HEAR ITS BEAUTIFUL#Thank god I'm surrounded by the kindness of strangers
444 notes
¡
View notes
Text
playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
2K notes
¡
View notes
Photo
do you think itâs a friendly wolf
#my art#werewolf#anthro#furry#wolf#oc#els#illustration#the answer is NO but we should also remember looks can be deceiving#guys i accidentally started buying pokemon cards again. i'm never going to financially recover from this#but have you seen the crown zenith subset with full art cards of underappreciated pokemon....did you see....I NEED it#i haven't brought ANY cards since early sun/moon and even then it was just a little collector's box because i wanted the arceus pin/promo#please god forgive me for spending money on pokemon cards again PLEASE#i'm your weakest soldier anud i require your strongest card pulls so i can get simisear vstar thank you amen#and also bibarel thievul lumineon and miltank thank you amen#GRAAAAAGAGHHH WHY DID I SPEND SO MUCH MONEY ON PIECES OF CARD I'M NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!!!#monster art
5K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Itâs the way Steve places a pin in that damn map of Hawkins. Two fingers, muddy knuckles. Fuck if Eddie knows the actual destination because all he can navigate is the curve of Steveâs index finger as he smooths out the edges of the map.
And itâs stupid, right? Because the world is folding in on itself and heâs looking at a guy in the kind of way Victorian novelists would only describe as âlongingly.â Itâs objectively stupid. Probably some adrenaline bullshit that a doctor could explain with a brain scan.
The rest of the group has scattered, plotting amongst themselves. Pulling plans out of their asses. Finding layers of courage behind clues and cassette tapes.
Eddie should do that too. Plan. Make decisions. Do anything other than stare at the dirt underneath Steveâs goddamn fingernails.
âPlease blink, Munson.â Steve says while clearing his throat. Heâs been doing that a lot. Which is, like, understandable after coughing up lake water all night long.
He clears his throat again. âShow sign of life before I ransack the supply bag for that shit you call music.â
âThat⌠shit?â Eddie spits out the words. Briefly forgets his swirly Steve feelings because of the fucking audacity on this guy. âRightrightright, because Bob Seger is so fucking dignified, huh?â
âUh-oh.â Dustin murmurs behind him.
âBecause Old Time Rock and Roll is the highest ranking of ear candy?â Eddie searches through their duffel bag until he finds Steveâs Vecna Saftey Tape. Waves it around wildly as he speaks. âForgive me. I didnât know entry-level chord progressions were considered Carnegie Hall worthy these days. But by all means, call my music shit.â
He throws the tape at Steveâs lap before dropping back down to his seat on the couch.
âWell,â Steve smirks. âAt least we know if the music wonât wake you up, mocking it sure as hell will.â
âGuys. Focus.â Nancy steps into the center of the room. Everyone nods, even Eddie. They listen intently to her directions. Henderson doesnât interrupt her, not even once.
Nancyâs entire demeanor is charged with currents of determination. Itâs honestly impressive. Truly. She could convince congress to change the fucking constitution if she wanted. Have the supreme court eating out of her palm with how persuasive she can be.
And the only thing that distracts her, is the same thing distracting Eddie.
Two fingers. Muddy knuckles.
Eddie follows her gaze back over to Steve. Her expression softening when she sees him.
Itâs cruel and expected. Cruel that Eddie has to witness such softness, knowing exactly how it feels. Expected because wedding bells can practically be heard every time those two interact with each other. No one can deny that.
But knowing all this doesnât stop the cruelty from squeezing Eddieâs stomach till his insides feel raw.
He swallows down his flimsy fantasies. Keeps repeating those words from back in the woods:
Itâs jealousy, itâs jealousy, itâs jealousy, itâs-
âHey, man.â Steve says.
Man? Not âNancy, my betrothed?â Not âNancy, my muse?â
⌠Man?
Eddie blinks. Glances up to see Steve looking at him. âYour taste in music isnât complete shit.â
Which isnât exactly an apology. But the teasing scratches an itch in Eddieâs brain that he hasnât be able to reach for a very long time.
âYeah.â Eddie says. âI guess Bob Segerâs stuff is⌠intermediate. Assistant managerial-level chord progressions.â
He pauses. Then leans in and adds a quick, âAt best.â
They both laugh a little. Itâs cut short by Steve clearing his throat again. One of the many reminders that theyâre not well.
That nothing theyâre going through is fair. Not even in the same universe as Fair. Eddieâs eyes fall to the red markings around Steveâs neck. Wonders if that makes his cough hurt worse.
âLook.â Steve nudges Eddieâs arm. Pulls his attention back into this moment. âWeâve got this, okay?â
Eddie canât exactly tell if thereâs softness in Steveâs eyes - the same kind Nancy gives to him so freely. Or if itâs just regularly scheduled Concern. But it doesnât even matter because Steve said that.
We.
âWeâve got this.â
Him and Steve.
And, okay, was Steve referring to a collective âwe?â Sure, yeah. Obviously. But Eddie is allowing himself to wallow in delusion while the worldâs expiration date remains questionable.
So he aims a lovesick smile at Steve and sighs. âWhatever you say, Harrington.â
#hi fam Iâve missed yall#please have some words if you need them#in my brain - this takes place while prepping for the vecna fight#idk I think about the conversations being had at that time a lot#serious and lighthearted bc how else do you cope?#aaaaanyways please thank Chappell roan#her music made me miss making things đ#okay I hope you are thriving and hydrating out there đ#steddie#steddie ficlet#oh my god I forgot what other tags I use fcegegeheghj
530 notes
¡
View notes