#AND WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE DOCTOR FOR 70+ YEARS

[claraoswalds]

It's racist, my dear, to be blunt. People come from outside, they think we're all witches and druids. For God's sake, child, you walked into a piece of string!

[lizardho]

"Exhausted Doctoral Psychology Intern" What is an interesting snippet of your life? This really made me curious!

I’m getting my Psy.D. in Clinical Psych and I’m terrible at taking my own advice so I’m usually pretty tired 😅 I’ve had practicum rotations where I was supervised doing forensic assessments, working with people on SOTP, providing disability assessments, and working in community mental health. I’m currently working at a university counseling center and absolutely loving it.

An interesting snippet of my life is that I have been a therapy patient AND provider. And my first therapist lost his license to an ethical violation.

To preface this story - psychologists have REALLY strict ethics - there’s not a lot to it, tbh, it’s easy enough to be ethical most of the time but, it’s strict. The top 3 rules of ethics are, in order, 1) Do NOT fuck your patients, 2) Don’t violate confidentiality (unless you can - deidentifying info, ROIs, mandated reporting, etc., are all situations that can allow for info to be shared, albeit loosely), and 3) DO. NOT. FUCK. YOUR. PATIENTS.

But before getting into my Psy.D. Program, I didn’t know this. I had been told by my former therapist that the ethics board is ravenous for licenses. That they are out for blood and the tiniest ticky-tacky violation of documentation rules would get your license revoked. So I go into my first ethics class SO scared because I am convinced I need to learn everything and never make any mistakes ever ever ever in my life ever.

Our ethics professor is a story by himself - he was dying of lung cancer or something and was an unhinged cranky asshole to everyone he felt like being shitty to. BUT. Part of our learning involved listening to ethics board meetings, and the day of the board meeting assignment fell two days after the professor died, so we were told to listen to an old board meetings and do the assignment like that instead. And that's how I learned that they record old ethics board meetings, going back for DECADES. This did three things for me:

It showed me that my old therapist had lost his license for sending dick pics to a patient in an abusive relationship. Rough way to learn that, but it was good to know that I was not in danger of losing my license for not documenting something exactly right.

2. It showed me that the licensing board is actually fairly lenient - there is a shortage of mental healthcare providers, so they don't take a provider out of the pool unless it is necessary. I've read about therapists who let client's live with them as servants in exchange for free therapy, therapists who have provided medical care so far out of their scope of practice it's laughable, and therapists who have provided evaluations of people they've never met based on 2nd- or even 3rd-hand information, and not lost their license. If anything they're almost TOO lenient.

3. There are some FUCKING WILD stories of bad therapists. My best one, though, is one from the late 70s or early 80s. It was a guy licensed to work with Medicare and Medicaid who took a young divorced mom onto his caseload. He broke rules #1 and #3 and fucked his patients, and this one was included; however, this client had extensive trauma and needed longer-term care. So the fact that she was being double-billed for each session - once for the therapy and once for the sex, was found out by her because she was permitted to have 12 sessions a year before an appeal needed to be made and she had reached her limit after 6 sessions.

So she sues the guy, who changes his name and flees the state to practice in a different state - in the years before the internet he was hard to track down. To my knowledge they never tracked him down. But the thing that is wild is that in the 70s and 80s government insurances paid the LEAST for therapy. So this guy was billing himself as a male sex worker, but was making like $60-70 for an hour of post-therapy sex. The guy was making so little he would have actually made more money by just seeing patients in that timeframe.

So anyways, the TL;DR is a shitty therapist took advantage of a traumatized young mom to get his dick wet and then billed insurance for an insanely low amount compared to what he could have made as either a good therapist or an actual sex worker.

I guess the moral of the story is don't half-ass two things if you can whole-ass one thing?

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence(ish) summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 2

(eps 61-110) thank u for the funny comments and tags on the last part i love u guys

the rest of these may take a while as i've caught up to where i am currently in the podcast but i will finish them like in a month i promise

----

61. the thrilling sequel to man does not open coffin: man DOES open coffin.

62. surely this doctor can find an easier way to scam people out of money than putting them in a little book.

63. THE DARK ATE MY BROTHER IN LAW.

64. this is possibly the plot of laura croft tomb raider

65. mmm crumchy

66. what's the opposite of an unboxing video

67. as close to a coffeeshop au as you're going to get from this podcast

68. Doctors hate him! Man REFUSES to die from tuberculosis!

69. your college's psych department has the worst idea ever.

70. reverse death note

71. not even death will stop this woman from taking the british subway

72. man doesn't want to be low key racist in his last moments before getting eaten

73. police versus the second coming of dark jesus

74. lady is haunted by an ad for coffee

75. mike crew says "uh fuck it let's just put this guy on a skyscraper forever"

76. ryan from buzzfeed unsolved breaks into a train yard and suffers consequences

77. you're not a enough of a bitch to be my real mom

78. man gets harassed by his cousin and then exorcises him

79. you know that chase scene in scooby doo with the doors

80. stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner

81. i have been personally victimized by the sequel to the hungry hungry caterpillar

82. pov: elias threatens to cancel you

83. mannequin takes matters into its own hands after people don't like its pitch for a new window display

84. a hoarder put newspaper on my friend's face :(

85. hey there's maybe a little man upon these stairs?

86. man gets got by a squiggly thing in the dark.

87. plumber is so oblivious to spooky happenings around him that it possibly saves his life.

88. guys i think this guy likes to dig

89. lesbian investment banker finds a new, less evil job: arson!

90. guy who turns people's bones starts a gym where he promises not to turn your bones! (he is lying)

91. i was stalked by lightning for 10 years and i all i got were these stupid scars

92. jonah magnus is a bad friend // another day another elias slay

93. ocd is no match for purple fuzz

94. let the bodies drop gently to the floor let the bodies drop gently to the floor

95. im so sorry my brain refuses to remember what the war ones were about but i think one guy got gently kissed on the forehead so that's pretty nice.

96. diversity wins! the not-quite-human delivery men who stole your identity and business are maybe gay?

97. man gets gaslighted by an entire town about a hole

98. 🎶mister sandman bring me a dream, actually don't, please stay far from me 🎶

99. another one bites the dust

100. archival assistants face off against the general public (they lose)

101. jon finally levels up high enough to unlock an eldritch horror's tragic backstory

102. LOCAL MAN MARRIES BUG

103. peppa eats a clown and they cover her in concrete instead of congratulating her.

104. pennywise stole my brother's skin

105. it's world war z baby

106. Something Big Is In Space.

107. man is interrogated about the time he saw thomas the train roasts people alive and also sans is there

108. actor is stalked by mask who liked his monologue so much that it tells its mask friends to come watch.

109. sometimes a family is just a serial killer's daughter and that guy who maybe killed some vampires

110. yeah man those spiders be eating

Part 1 |

[felixdragonheartofficial]

TFA TEAM PRIME HUMAN REDESIGNS FINALLY

FUCK

+headcannons

Optimus: gotta stay focused

looks too old compared to his bot form.

I find it impossible for Optimus to be more than a million years old in this canon. In the least, he's older than 1000 years and since we have mfs that are canonically over 70 million years old(fagatron iykyk) compared to that, he feels like a dude in his early-to-mid-30's being the group parent.

---

-I made him more youthful, gave him curly hair, and tailored his clothing to actually look like his bot form.

-workaholic

-on the cusp of barley being able to hold his liquor

-doesn't own a pair of pajamas until Sari gets some for him

-usually forgets to put them on, but appreciates the gesture

-stays active for like, 3 days until he can't fight off sleep with work brain anymore, and unceremoniously passes out on the couch to sleep for a full 24 hours

-ratchet sighs and puts a blanket over him as per routine

-frequently checks security feed

-elf on the shelf despiser

-early morning talks with jazz and ratchet over coffee (they all wake up at 6 am)

-half thrives on caffeine and a vigorous training protocol

-is a dog person, loves German shepherds to death

David sama, pls forgive me ily very much

Ratchet: to old for this nonsense

doesn't match his body type in the slightest.

Ratchet is really old, he's got a sallow face and a gramp gut, how dare they square him. He's wayyy too angular and peachy looking.

-I gave him his luscious curves back, adding all the equipment id expect a field medic to have because he is a field medic, not a regular doctor. I changed his facial proportions, and also made his face gaunt, for that dead inside PTSD look.

---

-drinks his coffee black with brown sugar, literally drinks it piping hot

-is one of those old people who complains about noise

-confiscates bumblebee and Sari's toy cars, and puts them in a high up cabinet

-neither of them know how to bypass the child safety lock lmao

-casual clothes includes a lot- a l o t of plaid shirts, and 10 pairs of the same blue jeans

-tunes out bulkhead and prowls convos about birdwatching

-big fan of political satire dramas

-Sentinel doesn't approve

-Ratchet doesn't give a rats ass about what he thinks of course

Bumblebee: professional smart-ass

doesn't match his body type/age.

Bumblebees holoform is presented as a 10-12 year old child specifically for the fact that he's short, and the comedic relief. Total ass

I set his human age as 19-20 years old, making him more of a big brother to sari because that og model is disappointingly lackluster

---

-Bumblebee is a scrappy wisecracking punk, like an adhd kid who just got roller skates for Christmas.

-since he doesn't have wheels, I feel like he'd wear skates instead to emulate the feeling

-terrible at watching where he's going cuz he's too busy trying to show off, so ratchet makes him wear all that padding + training wheels

-legit despises the padding and training wheels

-Jealous of Blurr for mastering roller blades lmao.

-his favorite games are choose your fighter and fps

-saw ONE ancient ass assassins creed playthrough and begged ratchet to install hidden tasers in his arm bands (was denied)

-Sari used her key to do it instead

-self appointed "rizzler"

-Optimus has zero idea of what that means and thinks it's code for something dubious

-Ratchet knows what it means and thinks it's silly

-"I' was something of a rizzler myself back in my day, kid"

-bumblebee cringes

-loves summer and swimming

-wants to be the fastest thing in the sea because y'know, it's bumblebee

-is spooked from the beach for awhile cuz he saw sharks in Prowls nature documentary

-there are infact, no sharks in lake Erie

Bulkhead: big guy, bigger heart

doesn't match his body type/aspirations.

Jesus fuck he's so wide?? And his belly migrated to his shoulders?? I'm gonna be honest, I really hate this design. I feel like it contributed to the "brute strength = stupid" take that most in the fandom associates with him.

---

-Bulkhead is a SWEET. CARING. NERD YOU FOOLS. He's like the male version of a tall goth gf-

-a tall-nerdy-farm hand-physics bf, You got me fucked up.

-Its already shown that bulkhead really likes art in Addition to creating it. He hates being only seen as the "muscle" so it wouldn't make sense for him to lean into that.

-bunny slippers that him and sari made together(she provided the buttons)

-the slippers go missing sometimes (basically considered community property unless he's wearing them)

(ratchet and prowl are the main offenders)

-frequent art museum goer

-really likes watching cooking shows, but is too shy to make food himself

-Owns a ton of star maps

-Really wants a treehouse that he, bumblebee and sari can hang out in

-pillowfort enjoyer

-casually reads quantum physics at the beach

Prowl: draft dodger

Doesn't look like him at all.

Prowls holoform being a mustachioed,white, police officer was an actual jumpscare for 7 y/o me, I kid you not

---

- I know this bitch would not wear a helmet (you can't force him to) que windswept hair

-Not as much as starscreams, for obvious reasons but yk

-prowl is like one of those "shoes are a prison for your feet"

-emo hipster

-has a pet cactus named "planty"

-bumblebee heckles him for it

-can and has brought his cactus with him on early evening motorcycle rides

-the helmet is reserved for his cactus, bring your own >:(

-salad consumer

-him and jazz share custody of the cactus

-repeat victim of the cat distribution system

-ratchet has probably spent hours telling him they can't keep any animals at base

-frequent midnight picnics with jazz

-and beachcombing

-and roaming around antique stores cuz jazz wants to know what vinyl records are

-got a mug with an attempted pink chibi cat with big round shiny eyes painted onto it, courtesy of bulkhead trying to find an artsyle

-cherishes this mug to death

-has a shrine dedicated to it

[hlficlibrary]

✤ Amnesia Fics ✤

A series of posts with the top five fics of each category by kudos plus five more hidden gems from that category! Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.

- Top 5 H/L Fics -

1️⃣ For As Long As I Can Remember (It's Been December) by green_feelings / @greenfeelings {E, 128k}

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

2️⃣ take my hand (and my heart and soul) by bananasandboots / @anylessreal {M, 45k}

Harry feels nauseous when he opens his mouth. "Hey. Um, hi. It's me," he mumbles before realizing with a jolt that Louis might not have his number anymore. "It's Harry... Styles," he tacks on, screwing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. This was a terrible idea.

There's silence on the other end for a long time. Harry understands. He shouldn't have called. He tries not to let the static swallow him whole.

"I – yeah. Hi," Louis finally answers, slowly, awkwardly. "I um. Sorry. I heard about your accident. You're alright?"

Or, the one where Harry hasn't spoken to his best friend in sixteen months and can't remember why.

3️⃣ Fugue by iwillpaintasongforlou / @canonlarry {E, 16k}

Harry falls asleep a 17 year-old who lives in Cheshire and is probably rockstar Louis Tomlinson's biggest fan. He wakes up 24 with a wedding ring on his finger, two kids, and Louis Tomlinson attempting to wake him up with a blow job. The doctor calls it organic retrograde amnesia, says he might never get back the last seven years of his life. The only thing that feels the same is how he feels when Louis touches him, and maybe that's enough to make him fall in love all over again.

4️⃣ The Dead of July by whimsicule / @baroness-elsa {M, 117k}

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

5️⃣ Indestructible by whoknows {E, 24k}

“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob.

“Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is.

“I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him.

Louis freezes.

HIDDEN GEMS:

💎 Stand By Me by MsHydeStylinson / @mizzhydes {E, 100k}

He was almost home when his eyes caught the text sprayed on the wall saying ”Treat People With Kindness”. Yeah, right. He couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. How naïve are some people? The world was too fucking unfair to even consider thinking like that. One day, sooner or later, they would learn their lesson just like everyone else and their own carefully built little Shangri-La would collapse in the blink of an eye. Just like Harry’s had. Poof, and everything had gone.

Or, In the wake of a tragic event, Harry left home at the age of nineteen, leaving behind everything he ever loved. The only thing that kept him going was his passion for music and his dream of making it big in the entertainment world.

What happens when Harry later encounters the man who once broke his heart? Is it possible to find forgiveness for the person who bitterly betrayed him? Could love really prevail despite the trauma he carries with him from his past?

💎 Jade by Halos_Boat / @halohamilton {M, 91k}

Harry was in a shipwreck, lost at sea with an injury to his head that causes him to lose part of his memory. Louis happens to notice the boy and dives in to rescue him, then aiding him to health again with his mother’s help.

Harry may have lost part of his memory, part of his life, but he gained something better than he could have ever imagined; he fell in love with Louis.

But, the life that Harry couldn't remember may just come between them.

The Amnesia AU where Harry and Louis still end up falling in love.

💎 I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) by @lululawrence {NR, 74k}

“Louis,” Harry breathed happily. His smile widened as he realized he’d finally found him, and he was stood before his soulstar. This was the closest they’d been in 31 Earth years, which had felt extraordinarily long for Harry, even in his star form. He could hardly withhold his happiness at seeing him again.

“Erm, yeah,” Louis said, interrupting Harry’s thoughts with his brows furrowing and looking clearly suspicious. “And you are?”

Harry and Louis are literal stars who have known they were soulmates from their creation eons ago, however when Louis came to Earth to start the next phase of their fated future, he forgot everything. Even Harry.

This leaves Harry to break the rules and instead of waiting for Louis to call him and join him on Earth, he crashes down on his own. Without Louis there to guide him and help him learn how to adjust to having a human body and everything associated with that, Harry has no other choice but to do the best he can.

As Harry tries to correct what has gone wrong, he finds that friendship can be a light even in the darkest night, and through those bonds even separated soulstars can find their fated path once more.

💎 Making Waves by @haztobegood {E, 30k}

After Louis Tomlinson, an arrogant millionaire, is thrown overboard and loses his memory, a mistreated employee convinces him that they are married. Thrust into an unfamiliar life he cannot remember, Louis must learn to live with his new husband and daughters and adjust to a less extravagant life.

Or, the one where Louis can’t remember, Harry needs money, and Niall has a plan. An Overboard AU.

💎 i forget (but i remember you) by honey_beeing {T, 3k}

Where Harry has anterograde amnesia and needs Louis's help sometimes.

[nemeyuko]

Tumblr if it existed in Lovecraft’s work would be a literal nightmare.

0 notes

💉 doctor-reanimator Follow

My assistant just came home from a trip to Illinois. I acquired a new specimen and tried out my new embalming fluid on it. My assistant will record the progress of reanimation.

🪦 reanimator-assistant Follow

West injected a compound into the specimen to counteract the embalming fluid.

🪦 reanimator-assistant Follow

West put a pillow over it. Afterwards, he injected the body with the reagent. It’s possible the specimen may tell us what’s on the other side of death!

🪦 reanimator-assistant Follow

West did what now?

15k notes

📐 math-folklore-gilman Follow

I keep having fucked up dreams about the witch that used to live in the house I rented for cheap. Especially since my rented room, the attic, was where she did her magic. I’m sure it’s nothing.

📐 math-folklore-gilman Follow

That’s a weird giant rat! I hate these fucking dreams!

10 notes

🖋️ bostonnephew-deactivated02181928

I got this weird box full of documents from being the heir of my great uncle’s estate after he passed. It has this strange bas-relief and notes. I’ll read what’s in it.

🖋️ bostonnephew-deactivated02181928

Cthulhu still sleeps beneath the waves in his sunken city. I know the cult knows I know too much. They’ll take care of me like they did my great uncle. If you don’t see me on here anymore, that’s why.

🐙 cthulhu-cultist80008 Follow

lol idiot.

90k notes

🌙 carter-the-dreamer Follow

Why do people think I killed Harley Warren? I did not! I do not know what has become of my friend Harley Warren.

3 notes

🐟 olmsteads-journal Follow

Hey, I’m going to visit this weird seaport town while on the way to Arkham to do genealogical research. People in Newburyport don’t want me to visit, but it’s the cheapest route to Arkham. Wish me luck!

🐟 olmsteads-journal Follow

Year later… but…

I was related to someone from that town and something else.

After I fled the town, started to become like the people from the town. I shall join them in the sea with my cousin! :)

70 notes

📚 curwen-research Follow

Note to everyone: don’t try summon up your ancestors from the grave with essential salts.

If you see a Dr. Allen around Providence, Rhode Island. Please shoot him and dissolve his body in acid.

📚 curwen-research Follow

Take no account of what I published. Dr. Allen is a grand man who meant no harm.

30 notes

👤 outsider2817 Follow

I’m going to leave my house for the first time! Wish me luck!

👤 outsider2817 Follow

I went to a house full of people partying. They all screamed and fled. What was that about?

👤 outsider2817 Follow

Oh.

100k notes

(Inspired by @strangestcase)

[botanical-garden-system]

🌺Intro to the Garden🪷

Hey yall, we are the Botanical Garden System!

We like using this platform to basically post how our experiences with mental health impact us—whether this is ADHD, trauma, MDD, OCD, or any other issue we have fought with. Most posts will be surrounding psychological research in trauma and dissociation, experiences or symptoms I have had, and general psychology resources I have “sailed the seas” to access in my craving for knowledge

I left my asks open and made a post expressing my answers to questions [here’s the post talking about this more]. You can pretty much ask whatever!

Spam/Reblog account: @botanical-gardens-system (we will post our responses to reposts and wonderful comments you guys have added thru that now. I genuinely read every reblog and have teared up with the amount of stories, love, and comfort you guys have gotten from my posts).

Music account: @botanics-beats (It’s kinda dead rn, sorry yall)

Our spam/reblog blog is where we house all posts we reblog. Usually there isn’t much text unless I am reblogging a response someone posted that I found important. Generally everything is system-related, but it sometimes has repost of other stuff like memes or something political.

DNI Criteria/Boundaries:

There is no DNI. DNIs are kinda useless and instead I will just block you if I don’t feel like I want to interact with you, and feel free to block me if you think I am violating any of your DNI. I never check DNIs really and I’m sure not many check mine. Just please don’t be a dick.

Bodily we are 20 years of age, and we would prefer having minimal interactions with minors in any dm setting. This page is safe from NSFW posts and content, so it is safe for minors to interact with, but we would much rather private dms and conversations be with other adults.

Understand I do not care about syscourse. I think it is a useless argument and it’s very frustrating to know it encompasses a good 50-70% of all content I see on here. I do not care to entertain discourse or debates on what you think is right or not, that’s not at all what I focus on in my studies.

Regardless of beliefs, this is going to be a safe space, and I do not want anyone being rude to people who reblog or comment on my posts. If I am uncomfortable with you, then I will block you at my discretion.

While I am not enforcing it, I would kindly ask you NOT to tag my posts with syscourse. That’s not a tag I want my posts to be under because I generally do not want to be roped into arguments. I’m not gonna block you if you have/if you do, it’s just a preference! I know some people reblog my posts under the tag as awareness, so this isn’t really some hard rule or anything. This just isn’t really a debate account, and you don’t get to be a dick to me because of a fabricated discourse issue I couldn’t care less about.

Fun facts about us/More Info on us:

We are working on a bachelor’s in psychology and want a master’s in nursing!

The ultimate goal is a master’s in nursing with a focus in PMHNP and a doctorate in clinical psychology. Being able to fund myself well through being a PMHNP and enjoying my research/teaching/helping through clinical psychology would be the most fulfilling life I could ever ask for.

We are a huge advocate of sharing and distributing free educative sources, and we have entire folders full of nearly 100 different resources we will gladly share!!

Since we are so big in psychology, our entire account is more psychological-science oriented to better understand our’s and other’s personal experiences. Our approach is always going to be empathy and understanding first.

Identity wise, queer is the best way we can describe ourselves.

A lot of us are generally agender, asexual, and aromatic, but we do have some alters who are pansexual and/or are a separate gender. Generally we are transmasc-neutral and the safest pronoun would be he/him. Neopronouns and xenogenders are fucking awesome and some of us do in fact use them!!

We are currently in a happy relationship right now!

We are traumagenic and experience the higher end of the dissociation spectrum (DID).

We do know our “origin” term would be considered traumagenic concerning our personal history. Our dissociative experience is very complicated and we have often felt alienated within the community, so we try our best to share feelings we hope others find comfort in. Honestly have no idea how to keep up with headcounts because our system doesn’t fully work like that but at least 10 have fronted on numerous occasions.

If there are any other adult systems that would like to interact, I would be happy too!

We’re friendly, I promise!!! However, this account is our only social media-related connection. We do not talk outside of this blog and are not associated with anything else! That being said, we do not feel comfortable sharing our simply plural unless you are someone we know deeply.

Tagging system for organization purposes:

“ #Omg a hit tweet /silly ” (more like a personal record to keep track of my top posts so I can respond to everyone/look at them)

“ #Botanical

[dreamwatch]

I know Tumblr is the place of eternal youth where finding out someone is in their thirties causes some kind of site wide panic, but I found this today and it put me in my feels.

And this comment kind of hit me:

“I’m 53 now, and while I love these years I must say it’s a difficult decade. Many of us start realising that we have more years behind us than ahead of us, and often we’re saying goodbye to our parents during these years… What is clear in these pictures though is that our personalities tend to stay true and we try to find joy and laughter where we can.”

There’s this thing I only started to notice recently, where people think because you’re older you don’t have passions and hobbies and weird fucking fandom obsessions. But you need to understand, my mind is in its twenties, it still thinks about mosh pits and festivals, still obsesses over the minutiae of my favourite tv shows from thirty years ago, still wants to wear glitter eyeliner to work and go drinking all night with my friends.

And that’s fine, but the body starts to fail you, you do something you wouldn’t have thought twice about as a youngster and suddenly something hurts, but your brain doesn’t say ‘don’t do that, you’re too old!’ because it doesn’t fucking know! It’s twenty two and thinking about that awesome Megadeth show and how you got kicked in the head but it was so cool, and you’ve got this girl, nothings changed, let’s move that wardrobe on our own like we always do. No! Because now you do that and you’ll fuck something badly, and sometimes permanently. You bend wrong and your back is fucked for a week. Your knees hurt, you get arthritis in your hip, your doctor knows you by your first name because they see you almost weekly for a hundred different ailments, because EVERYTHING HURTS. You cure one problem and BOOM! here, have another. And on top of that is menopause. Fucking menopause, you absolute fucking whore!

And those friends? They’re gone, mostly. They moved away, they had families, your big friend group of losers who stayed out all night in the city getting drunk are now spread across the world.

Getting older is lonely, I’ll tell you that much.

This is just me screaming into the void inarticulately, I don’t really have a point to this other than aging fucking sucks but it’s a privilege, too, and we’re still figuring our shit out in our 50s, 60s and 70s and beyond. We still love dumb shit. We’re still kids.

Anyway, I need to finish that ‘Hypochondriac Eddie Munson Turns 50’ fic.

[verdemoun]

Out of the timewarp couples we know that...

Sean dies before Lenny

And

Bessie dies before Hosea

This leaves The Morgans, The Duffys (Sorry Kieran it's you), and The Jones's... at least to my memory.

So in my lust for angst... who dies first, and how tragic was it?

Okay timewarp endgame let's go

Bessie and Hosea die together, so who died first is unknown. Bessie was sick first* and the one the gang most expected to die. Hosea's heart just went 'fuck not losing my wife again'.

Generally, the first shall be the last. Most of the 1911 gang actually die before the 1899 gang (minus tragedies and age related illness) simply because living rough as outlaws do for an extra 9-15 years in canon era was a physical strain they never really recovered from.

Charles dies before Arthur - he went 9 years mourning Arthur before timewarping, and I'm not putting him through that again. Only in his early 70s, Arthur noticed the tiny change of Charles sleeping more than usual and insisted he go see a doctor. Metastatic lung cancer: with only two or three weeks left to live. Instead of suffering through treatment for at most an extra 6 months, Charles decided just enjoy what time he had left - helping Arthur plan for how he would cope without him, seeing family and saying goodbyes, going to the few sights they hadn't seen and some of their favorite places for the last time. 3 weeks after the diagnosis, and only the second time he actually complained about pain, Charles simply took a nap and never woke up.

Similarly, in the once-Matthews-now-Duffscuella household, Javier dies first. Javier did not age well, and got a lot of age-related illnesses younger than most people. Arthritis in his 40s, heart disease in his 50s. Still, his death was very abrupt (only a year or so after Charles, so early 70s again). He was sitting on the couch, watching TV with Kieran. Sat his cigarette down on the edge of the ash tray, said he didn't feel like it, and laughed when Kieran asked if he could have it. But then - didn't pass it to him. Massive, sudden cardiac arrest. No response to attempted resuscitation: so quick it was painless. Didn't mean Kieran was any less distraught.

Kieran ends up living with Arthur because, as well as his self-neglecting brand of autism, Kieran was diagnosed with early stage dementia shortly before Javier died. As it progressed, Kieran's confusion manifested as basically thinking it was canon era. He'd huff he had to take care of the horses, or have moments where he still thought he was an O'Driscoll and start stealing things (from himself) because if he went back to the gang empty handed 'Colm'll have my head'. Arthur was always the best at calming him down, second to Javier, and generally knew how to keep Kieran happy in terms of things he would eat and what situations would be too overstimulating for him. Also, Arthur actually had horses so Kieran could look after them in his stableboy moments and be content. Kieran also passed away before Arthur.

The Jones's might have to be another ask oop.

[missbellesmagic]

Some pitches I've heard for Misha in the Boys from my family:

Russian Doctor that experimented on Soldier Boy (from my sister in law)

Bucky Barnes analog but he came out mostly non-violent and escaped, and has just been tooling around doing quiet good deeds for 70 years without accolades (this was my brother, who pitched the dialogue of "Where have you been?" and Misha responding "Well last year I was clearing out land mines in the Ukraine")

A thirsty Soldier Boy fan that has a cache of classified documents that they need (this is from my mother, and the resulting scenario is that Soldier Boy has to fuck him to get the paperwork, and it's a one-off episode where he dies at the end or he's never mentioned again)

These sound like fic prompts, so have them for free.

[drinkingteawithkate]

Okay I made a little post about this but it’s jawing at my brain

A deep dive into Ginny Weasley’s music taste

(Not specifically 90s timeline)

SPICE GIRLS

Okay so even though it might be cringy now she was definitely so obsessed with the spice girls. With their whole girl power agenda she definitely was really into it, and they have great party music. Hermione being one of her closest friends and muggle born showed her the spice girls over one summer and gave her tons of magazines on them. Tonks offered to take her to see them but Molly said absolutely not. Favorite song Wanna be obviously, it’s her designated getting ready song.

THE SMITHS/RADIOHEAD/NIRVANA/WEAZER

Okay so, Ginny dated Dean for almost a whole year being with someone you naturally gain interest in their interest. Dean being a muggle born introduced Ginny to all sorts of muggle bands The Smiths and Radiohead having a lot of sad songs I think she found very healing with all her trauma from the chamber. Nirvana is like the OG teenage dirt bag band so yes she loves them. Nirvana reminds her a lot of Sirius so she got Harry into listening to them. Weazer came from Seamus actually, when she was getting used to being around Deans friend group music came up and Seamus lent her one of his mixtapes. Her favorite song is Back to the old house because it makes her miss time before Tom and before the war.

DAVID BOWIE

So Bowie. I think Bowie would come from Bill and Arthur. Bill was born in the early 70s so it come from his childhood. We all know Arthur loves muggle things so I think music would be incorporated in that. Bowie has a perfect blend of sad and feel good music, we know she was close with Tonks but Remus helped her through second year too and Bowie was one thing they bonded over and what made Ginny trust Remus after Tom. Her favorite song is Changes because it feels like growing up.

EMINEM/D-12

Completely George and Charlie influence. She loved D-12 first obviously but she prefers Eminem. She knows every word. To every song. Harry loves when she gets wasted at parties and just stands on the table and belts out the lyrics. She’s totally a Doctor Dre fan too. The Slim shady album is her favorite it dropped in 1999 when she was freshly 17. Charlie took her to see him when she was 19 she went all out saggy jeans, heavy smudged eyeliner, bandana. When family dinners where to serious at the Burrow after the war. Her and George would start singing the dirtiest songs to get Molly’s attention on them. Favorite song in his discography is Under the Influence.

DO DOUBT/GWEN STEFANI, BIKINI KILL

Girl power rock bands I don’t have a ton to say about them. She loves No Doubt but proffers Gwen’s solo stuff. Obviously knows them from Tonks. She gave Ginny her Tragic Kingdom vinyl which released in 1995 perfect timing for her 4th year at hogwarts when she’s angry about being left out of order business. Her favorite Gwen song is Rich Girl.

ARVIL LAVIGNE

Okay so Arvil really started getting big in 2002 when her album Let Go came out. She wasn’t super big into her with that album but followed along still. Her teammates on the Harpy’s loved her and played her music in the locker rooms. She picked up again with her when Girlfriend came out but her favorite song is Here’s to never growing up.

(Later music)

TAYLOR SWIFT

I never liked that people think Ginny isn’t girlie because she grew up with 7 brothers. Yes, she is a total tomboy but she never saw being a girl as making her weak. It was just a challenge with her brothers but it just gave her more reasons to get to prove herself. If she had Taylor in her teens her favorite album would be Red or Evermore. Cowboy like me is a perfect song to describe her and Harry. “The skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up” perfect example of their relationships with Voldemort. They definitely avoided that they had that in common for a while but after they accepted it they where able to heal through each other. I think the song I hate it here from TTPD would be one Ginny could relate too because honestly when she was completely alone her therapy was Tom and the diary. It was where she would escape too. I think her hearing that song as an adult would have an even deeper meaning because it’s so sad and describes how lonley-ness feels beautifully.

- If you want my other opinions and more bands I think she would like feel free to ask I have so many others artist and songs

This kinda turned in to me relating Ginny to my favorite music but oh well 🤷‍♀️

[romanarose]

Queerness has always been integral with the fanfiction community, way back to its roots. Fanfiction would not be what it is today without queer stories and the people who wrote them.

Somewhere along the line fandom has become much more straight centered and I think a lot of that has to do with the last 10 years or so the rise of X reader fanfiction, instead of character X character

This is not a bad thing to be clear. I write a lot of x reader, mostly I write X reader in a heterosexual relationship fanfiction is a beautiful source of self expression and people should be able to express themselves however they choose and if they aren’t queer or don’t want to write queer stories that’s absolutely OK.

But I need you to understand where this community came from. in the last year or so I’ve seen more of an uptick in queer stories than I have for the last few years and that has made me so happy! Deadpool wolverine of course, is a huge ship, and this has led to a boost in the queer men content

Additionally, in the other fandoms I’m in there’s been more people writing X male reader or two male characters, often from different fandom’s, and shows, which has been super fun

But with this, I’ve seen a backlash from people complaining that everything is gay now. They tried to frame it in a way that isn’t homophobic or trans phobic, that they just want to see themselves and fanfiction or that their straight fanfiction isn’t getting as much likes as gay fanfiction, and I need you guys to understand something

Firstly, this is just not true. While there are always outliers, fanfiction that pop off and do well, in general x fem reader fanfiction will do better than any gay story. If there’s a threesome story, if it’s two men and the reader, it will do well. If the two men are also kissing and fucking, it will generally do less well.

But secondly, it’s important to know that those of us post queer fanfiction are doing it out of necessity, out of fear even sometimes. We do not want to be erased and if you’ve been paid attention to any news lately we are a heavy target. Writing, explicitly queer fanfiction is us being loud and proud and those heterosexual and cisgender allies who also write these stories are supporting us.

But finally, the fandom space has always been queer

From the earliest days of fandom as we understand it now, with Star Trek and Lord of the rings, both fandoms were filled with gay fanfiction and gay fanart and those fandoms have paved the way for others as time went into the 70s and 80s.

Remember when fandom was at its peak in the early 2010s? That whole movement was built gay fanfiction. Sherlock was extremely fucking gay and the fandom was no less. Supernatural was so gay. It’s the whole reason most of us know the term queer baiting.

Doctor who, les miserables, Harry Potter, avengers. If you didn’t see queer content you simply weren’t paying attention, and I doubt you would have been on tumblr.

We have always been here. We have always been here. We build fandom into what it is now because WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE

[trans-canadiantrain]

Meta read of why the Twelfth Doctor chose that face

Basically, why the Doctor chose that face can be explained by The Giggle

Twelve tries to figure out why he chose that face, and assumes that it's to remind himself to save people, but that leads to an act of god and hubris in resurrecting Ashildr. He remembers where the face came from, that Donna asked to save "somebody, not the whole town, but somebody", but he only does so in an emotional moment where he's not thinking logically and letting his guilt get the better of him. In actuality, his subconscious chose that face to remind him of Donna, and that he should go back for her and rest a while. After all, he just spent 900 years on Trenzalore fighting a war, that was traumatizing as hell. But he doesn't go find Donna (and Clara, bless her hot mess, is totally an enabler), and whilst he does spend 24 years with River, and then like 70 guarding a vault, he's still on alert, so to speak, not settling, not resting. He embraces endings, but he doesn't know how to emotionally deal with the endings once they've, well, ended. All though Series 10 he's mourning River, he clearly spent that night on Darillium for her sake, not for his. (And as Eleven, he loved the Ponds, but he never settled with them.)

Thirteen's face is the Doctor repressing, hiding this emotional fatigue and weariness under a facade of smiles, choosing in the moment of his regeneration to just keep plodding on because to him "rest" means "death". "One more lifetime won't kill anybody. Except me." The Doctor assumes "oh well, I can just change my face again and be new and maybe this tiredness I feel will go away". They are wrong, they get fucked over with the Timeless Child and the Flux, suddenly have to go through an identity crisis, repress it HARD, friendzone Yaz, then her subconscious goes "Okay time to make this explicit to you" and bam, David Tennant again. The TARDIS gets in on it and drops him down in front of Donna.

And that's how we end up with the specials and Fourteen getting some needed rest and rehab. It's been absolute centuries of the Doctor constantly pushing and pushing and assuming they can't stop running because it's all they've ever known, and now he has finally embraced it with the help of Donna.

[yourmidnightlover]

timeless - ch. 2

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

series summary: you, bucky and steve were the best of friends growing up. what happens when you're assigned to be a war nurse for the 107th? what happens when bucky finds himself 70 years later with scattered memories of the girl who brought him so much comfort? will your love for each other remain after all of the pain you've been put through? will your love for each other remain timeless?

chapter summary: this chapter is set during civil war when bucky and steve are reunited.

warnings: classing mcu violence, guns, mention of headshots (of the other supersoldiers from HYDRA), death, HYDRA talk, talk of assassins, please let me know if i've missed anything!

w/c: 2.1k+

a/n: hiii! i've missed writing so so much but i've finally finished the second chapter of this series! i'm so excited for it and already have so much planned. it's loosly accurate, but it definitely goes off course with the actual plot the mcu has. so THIS IS NOT CANON. i am making some of it up, mostly towards the end and bits and pieces about the reader being involved in anything. this chapter ALSO doesn't have reader in it because this part is largely the development of how they realize that reader is still alive... you'll understand once you begin reading. anywho, i hope you lovely people enjoy reading!

<- chapter 1 ~ chapter 3 ->

“which bucky am i talking to?” steve chided bucky as his arm remained in a vice. his voice remind still and steady as if his emotions hadn’t been the victim of intense whiplash from trying to get his old pal back.

“your mom’s name is sarah,” he had what almost seemed like a grin as he continued, “you used to wear newspaper in your shoes.” 

“can’t read that in a museum,” he tilted his head with an almost grimace, recalling the days when he was a few feet shorter and far less invincible. 

“wh-just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?” sam questioned incredulously, reasonably so. sam had no reason to trust bucky. he was never once his best friend. he didn’t know the lengths bucky and steve used to go to to protect one another. 

“what did i do?” bucky could tell by sam’s reaction that yet another bad deed had occurred at his hand, the one that he wasn’t even born with.

“enough.”

“oh god,” bucky sighed as he threw his head back. “i knew this would happen. everything HYDRA put inside me is still there… all he had to do is say the goddamn words,” bucky’s face filled with self-hatred that was all too familiar.

“who was he?” 

steve knew bucky would understand who he was talking about. hell, the man knew his trigger words, bucky wishes he knew who the fuck he was. it pained him that after years of not knowing who he was, being used as a mere object for a terrible agenda, he finally escaped… only to be used once more by a complete stranger.

“i don’t know.”

“people are dead,” steve leveled with bucky as if he wasn’t aware of the magnitude this all has come to. “the bombing, the setup, the doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you. i need you to do better than ‘i don’t know.’”

“he-he wanted to know about siberia, where i was kept,” bucky recalled. “he wanted to know exactly where.”

“why would he need to know that?” 

“because i’m not the only winter soldier.”

“what?” sam was in disbelief, his voice going into a higher pitch than steve had probably eer heard. 

“but, steve,” bucky was confused about what he was even supposed to say, how to say what he needed to. hell, he didn’t even know exactly what he knew. “my memories, they’re coming back all… jumbled. it’s like i remember pieces before the fall and then some when i was under HYDRA’s control and i can’t tell which is which. it’s like they’re getting all confused.”

“buck, what’re you trying to say here?” steve wanted bucky to tell him whatever it was he needed to, they had other pressing matters to get to the bottom of.

“you remember y/n, right?”

“how could i forget?” he smiled fondly. “she-she died, though? back when-”

“that’s what i thought too,” bucky shook his head. “but i keep seeing her in the memories with HYDRA. not from the war, not from brooklyn, it’s distinctly HYDRA, but i don’t know how much of my memories i can trust.”

steve took a step back from bucky, trying to analyze what he was implying. trying to decipher what it meant if HYDRA had taken you for all this time too. that means you must have the serum in your veins as well, but how? 

were you being used like bucky in all of HYDRA’s plans? this was all so confusing to him, bucky too. 

“who’s y/n?” sam asked, his arms thrown up in utter bewilderment. 

“she was our best friend,” steve filled in for bucky after a pause, the man clearly not able to accurately describe what you were to him. “she meant a lot to us, but we thought she died back in the war…”

“so that’s not the case? i’m assuming, based on cyborg here?” sam motioned to bucky, clearly confused as to how many people seem to come back to life or survive far past their expiration date here. 

“do you know if she’s still in siberia?” 

“after a while, the i stopped seeing the people in siberia. but i remember being with her a lot more… i don’t know what she did for HYDRA, but i don’t think she’s there,” bucky couldn’t look at steve as he tried to explain where his best friend was. 

“if she’s not there, then HYDRA surely isn’t doing anything good to her in your absence.”

“that’s what i’m most worried about.”

“those other soldiers… who were they?” steve wondered

“their most elite death squad. more kills than anyone in HYDRA history, and that was before the serum.”

“they all turn out like you?” sam sassed.

“worse.”

“the doctor, could he control them?”

“enough.”

steve shook his head, perplexed as he added, “said he wanted to see an empire fall.”

“with these guys he could do it. they speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. they can take a whole country down in one night and you’d never see them coming.”

“this would’ve been a lot easier a week ago,” sam mentions primarily to steve.

“if we call tony…” 

“no, he won’t believe us,” sam cut steve’s idea short.

“even if he did-”

“who knows if the accords would let him.”

steve sighed, his head low as if he had been defeated, “we’re on our own.”

“maybe not,” sam had a sly smirk on as he finished, “i know a guy.”

-

after meeting with sharon carter, an easy fight with most of the avengers, and hijacking the quinjet, steve and bucky were on their own, hurtling towards siberia and a few of the world’s best unknown assassins.

bucky didn’t understand why he couldn’t pinpoint where he had known you from. all he can tell is that you were practically everywhere. because of that, part of him thinks you might’ve just been a figment of his imagination, creating a sense of comfort from one of the only people he’s ever truly cared about in the midst of his pain and the chaos HYDRA forced him to impose on the innocent. 

but if that were the case, then shouldn’t he recall more of steve as well? 

“what’s gonna happen to your friends?” bucky asked, hoping the people who put their necks on the line for him, for his best friend, would be alright. 

“whatever it is…” steve shook his head with a heavy heart. “i’ll deal with it.”

all bucky could think about was the pain of the last 70 years, but not his own. he was thinking of all the memories he’s had surface already of him harming those who didn’t deserve it, as if anyone deserved for their lives to be taken. 

“i’m don’t know if i’m worth all this, steve,” he shook his head adamantly.

“what you did all those years…” he looked thoughtfully before turning slightly to face bucky. “it wasn’t you. you didn’t have a choice.”

“i know, but i did it.”

-

once they landed atop the mountain, they went to the back to unload a few weapons and headed inside the already open door. 

“he can’t have been here a couple hours.”

“long enough to wake ‘em up,” bucky tilted his head with a grimace, not knowing if he selfishy hoped you were there or hoped you weren’t included in the infamous group of th world’s best assassins.

heading further down the corridor, they come face to face with the one, the only, iron man.

tony heads towards steve and retracts his helmet to greet the men. “you seem a little defensive,” he gestures towards bucky, who’s gun remained aimed at the red-suited man. 

“it’s been a long day,” steve sighed to try and reason with tony, thinking he was here to take him and his fugitive pal in for good.

“at ease, soldier. i’m not currently after you,” tony stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

bucky was still confused, watching the two men interact and trying to figure out his place in their conversation, but opting to simply observe and keep his gun raised in defense.

“then why’re you here,” steve asked the question bucky was also wondering, himself.

“could be your story’s not so crazy… maybe,” tony rolled his eyes as he continued. “ross has no idea i’m here, so i’d like to keep it that way.otherwise, i gotta arrest myself…” he trailed off on that note.

“well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork,” steve finally lowered his shield. “it’s good to see you, tony,” he addressed the man after figuring out it wasn’t ‘iron man’ coming to him. it was only tony.

“you too, cap,” his attention was brought to bucky after noticing his weapon was still ready to fire, pointed right at him. “hey, manchurian candidate, you’re killing me. there’s a truce here,” tony motioned to himself and steve to emphasize his point. “you can lower…” steve signalled for bucky to loer his weapon, so he did. 

the three continued their way into the bunker, trying to be ready for whatever was awaiting them. 

“i got heat signatures,” tony said after scanning the room.

“how many?”

“uh… one,” with that, the three enter the room. 

hazy yellowed lights flickered on as a speaker began to crackle to life. looking around, the soldiers were still secure in their capsules, but the only one they could see clearly had a bullet straight through their head.

“if it’s any comfort, they died in their sleep,” they recognized zemo’s voice over the speaker. bucky looked in the other capsules, ensuring your corpse wasn’t in any of the capsules. “did you really think i wanted more of you?” zemo scoffed.

“what the hell?” bucky was confused at the actions of the man before him. if he didn’t want to control some of the stronged people in the world, what did he want from killing them?

“i’m grateful to them though, they brought you here,” he chuckled slyly as the other men rolled their eyes and huffed at his secrecy. steve had launched his shield at the booth that zemo was in, only for it to come ricocheting back towards him. “please, captain. the soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets.”

“i’m betting i could beat that,” tony piped in, raising his hand, ready to shoot beams through the glass. 

“oh, i’m sure you could, mr. stark, given time,” he nodded in agreement, leaving tony to lower his hand in bewilderment. “but then you’d never know why you came.”

“you killed innocent people in vienna just to bring us here?” 

“i thought about nothing else for over a year. i studied you. i followed you,” he was droning on and on about how dedicated he had been. “but now that you're standing here, i just realized . . . there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes. how nice to find a flaw,” it was mockery for him to stand there as if he had superiority.

“you’re sokovian, is that what this is about?” steve simply wanted answers from the man who was only speaking in puzzles.

“sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. no. i'm here because i made a promise.”

“you lost someone?” steve filled in the blanks that zemo clearly had no intention of confessing.

“i lost everyone,” he made eye contact with bucky before he continued, “and i think you’ll be thrilled to know that you haven’t lost everyone, yet.”

“you know where she is, don’t you?” bucky strode towards the glass that was protecting zemo. “where the hell is she?!” his fist slammed against the glass. 

“now, now,” he rose his hands and gestured for bucky to calm down. “that’s no way to get information out of someone, although, i guess that never was your specialty, was it?” 

“did you do something to her?” his voice was a low growl. “i swear to god if you touched a hair on her head-!��� 

“i didn’t do anything to her, yet, mr. barnes,” he continued to patronize the man. 

“buck,” steve placed his hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. “he wants you to react. he wants to upset you. don’t give him what he wants.”

bucky turns to face steve, “if he knows where she is-”

“we’ll find her on our own,” steve nodded, trying to get bucky to remain calm. “we don’t need him to manipulate us to get things figured out.”

“look, icicle,” tony chided in, “i’ll use all of my resources to help find this girl of yours - whoever she is.”

tags:

@cjand10

@coldheartedmar

[wei-ying-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 5- Lesbians, which includes the following films: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Water Lilies (2007), Saving Face (2004), D.E.B.S. (2004), Set It Off (1996), The Handmaiden (2016), Carol (2015), Imagine Me and You (2005), Two of Us (2019), Rafiki (2018), and The Color Purple (1985). 

Today I will (finally) be watching Naissance des Pieuvres or as it is titled in English:

Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma

[Run Time: 1 hour 20 minutes, Language: French]

Summary: A love triangle forms among three adolescent girls who meet at a local pool over summer break and each desires the love of another.

Cast:  - Pauline Acquart as Marie - Adèle Haenel as Floriane - Louise Blachère as Anne - Warren Jacquin as François

___

Okay well, I need to give a massive shout out to @twig-tea without whom this film viewing would not have occurred. I have exactly two films left in this unit, and I do not plan on doing retrospectives or anything so I will just say this here. 

What I have learned about sapphic films: 

At a minimum, 70% of the air time is dedicated to two sapphics of any age silently staring at each other 

That out of the way, this was a lovely little coming of age film and I was incredibly appreciative of the fact that they actually cast actors who were the same age of their characters for this. At this point I am so used to adulted in their twenties or (god forbid) thirties playing teenagers, and I think this film would have had a very different vibe if that were the case. 

Y’all these kids were awkward as fuck in the best possible way, it was nice to see some early 2000’s fashion, and I think when you get 15-18 year old actors for films like this it is helpful recontextualization for how young people are when they start drinking, and flirting, and having sex. And it aids the tragedy too of watching Floraine talk about the experience she had been sexually assaulted (my words, not hers) by the pool boy. 

I am really interested in the decision to make this a film around synchronized swimming. Maybe there is something to be said about the ways in which a synchronized team needs to know their team and their routines intimately and yet the girls on Floraine’s team have a completely false perception of who she is as a person. 

And I think the ages of these performers really helps support that misconception. Floraine is a beautiful girl, and she is young, and she has had full grown adults climb in to the pool where she is practicing and pull out their dicks. I was genuinely concerned about her safety when the grown adult man was asking if she wanted a massage before she went into the pool, and the fact that she did agree, and that we do not know what happened behind that closed door. (Maybe massages are a natural part of competitive synchro but I could not stop thinking about the US Women’s gymnastics team and the team doctor that abused them.) 

Floraine is young, and these girls around her have decided that she is a “slag” for whatever reason, and she is at such a perfect age to toe the line between promiscuity and modesty. She will doll herself up, she will make out with boys at parties, and she will go to clubs to grind up against and make out with grown adult men, but whenever she steps closer to actually engaging in sex, she stops herself or Marie stops the encounter for her. 

And, their ages really help sell the sex scenes in this. I have added this film to a list of my favorite portrayals of sex because holy shit are the sex scenes awkward and terrible. There is no romance in them in any way, shape, or form. The sex scene between Floraine and Marie is literally just like two minutes of Floraine lying there completely still while Marie, presumably, sticks a finger up her vagina, barely moves it, and ends with Floraine looking pained and shedding a tear. 

The sex scene between Anne and Francios is also painfully awkward. That man shows up to her apartment after being denied sex by the girl he actually wants to fuck. He thanks Anne for the necklace she gave him which he promptly gave to Floraine, and then without another word his hands are just all over her. There is no romance, there is no passion, this is just a horny teenager sticking his dick in someone who is willing to get fucked. 

Also the smeared lipstick all over Marie and Floraine’s mouths after they make out at the party? Iconic. 

I am quite mad that Marie never apologized to Anne for the mean shit she said to her, because she truly started poking at all the insecurities that she knows Anne has (shout out to teenage girls for knowing just what to say to tear you down). And at the same time, I appreciate Anne so much for knowing that Marie is just having a temper tantrum, and navigating whatever complicated feelings she has. It was quite a strong friendship moment when Marie was like “I’m sick of you,” and Anne’s first response was not hurt, not upset, was a simple, casual, bored reply “Okay Mrs. No Tits.” 

Now. Thinking about this film in relation to BL, since that is where this syllabus is headed I have to say 

There is a pinky touch. We love a pinky touch. We live for a pinky touch. There can never not be a young queer love story that is absent a pinky touch. 

They did a very lovely job using naturally occurring lines like walls or grooves in sidewalks to create barriers between Marie and Floraine a la many a BL 

TOH FROM SECRET CRUSH ON YOU LEARNED ALL HIS CREEPY LITTLE HOARDING TRICKS FROM MARIE! THIS GIRL STOLE TRASH AND KEPT IT IN HER DESK DRAWER AND SHE BIT INTO AN APPLE THAT HAD BEEN THROWN IN SAID TRASH JUST SO SHE COULD TASTE SOMETHING FLORAINE’S MOUTH HAD BEEN ON.

Favorite Moment

The very last scene of the film is my favorite moment, when Anne and Marie are starfishing out ala I Told Sunset About You after finally walking away from the people who have been using them. 

Because ultimately that is what is happening. Marie is in love with Floraine, and Floraine is, I think, genuinely interested in Marie. But she is not at a point in her life where she is going to pursue that. She will ask Marie to fuck her, she will let Marie make out with her, but she is going to go back on to the dance floor with the boys because she has a reputation to maintain. 

Though their friendship goes through a rough patch, and though I do think that Anne forgave Marie for too much too quickly, I love that we ended this film on their friendship. #brosbeforehoes

Favorite Quote 

“Imagine the number of people with ceilings in their eyes” 

Score 

8/10

Shout out to Adèle Haenel, she has done so much for lesbianism. 

Up Next: Rafiki (2018)

[spot-the-antisemitism]

Hey, genuine question here because I’m really confused about the phrase “anti-zionism is antisemitism.” Why do you think that? After spending over a year now watching the Israeli Government: 

Admit to intentionally depriving the entirety of Gaza of food, water, and electricity. (Israel: Starvation Used as Weapon of War in Gaza | Human Rights Watch)

Engage in Collective Punishment and various other heinous war crimes. (Same source as above)

Target civilian infrastructure under the guise of them being fronts for Hamas. Which even if they were (something there is no definitive evidence of) would still be vile. (Security Council Debates Israeli Attacks on Hospitals Allegedly Misused by Hamas, as UN Rights Chief Urges Independent Probes | Meetings Coverage and Press Releases)

Actively claim via government funded video that there are “no innocent civilians in Gaza” despite the fact that 44% of the reported casualties have been children. (Yes I acknowledge that the Ministry of Health is run by Hamas, however Israel is actively banning journalists from entering Gaza to confirm those statistics. Therefore forcing us to take them at face value because we have no other source.)(Israel posts video saying ‘there are no innocent civilians’ in Gaza)(Nearly 70% of Gaza war dead women and children - UN - BBC News)(More Than 13,000 Children Reported Dead in Gaza as Famine Nears | UNICEF USA)

Allow the IDF to do literally whatever the hell they want, allowing unjustified use of lethal force. We have reached a point where IDF soldiers literally are posting on tiktok bragging about bombing civilians. I’ve seen a nauseating amount of people calling Palestinian children “little Hamas members” or “future terrorists” to justify slaughtering them. (Open-Fire Policy | B'Tselem)

Killed more than 250 aid workers while purposefully targeting shelters and aid worker convoys. (Gaza: Israelis Attacking Known Aid Worker Locations | Human Rights Watch)

Labeled certain areas as “Safe Zones” and proceeding to bomb them anyway. (Urgent need for ceasefire as Israeli forces attack ‘safe zones’ in Rafah | Doctors Without Borders - USA)

Ignore their long history of massacring Palestinians decades before Hamas was founded. (ccrjustice.org)

So please, seriously, please do not tell me you genuinely think my hatred for the Israeli Government is antisemetic. I will condemn Hamas until the day I die but just as Israelis are not a monolith neither are Palestinians, and it is unfair to place sole blame on the Palestinians Tyrannical Government for the deaths of the innocent. 

More Sources used to cross reference or with relevant information: (Latest massacres in Gaza's Middle Area illustrate complete disregard for Palestinian lives | Doctors Without Borders - USA)(Israeli MP Says It Clearly for World to Hear: 'Erase All of Gaza From the Face of the Earth' | Common Dreams)(Israel, The Targeted Killings Case | How does law protect in war? - Online casebook)(Al-Majdal)(Israeli Massacres: A Brief and Shocking History | Israel Palestine News)

I did my best to cross check all my sources for accurate information, however I am a human and not infallible so I may have made a mistake somewhere. I sincerely apologize if any of the information given in these sources is outdated or has been debunked with definitive evidence.

Thanks

Dear thanks,

I think that because entitled goyim like you still think thry can trot out some conspiracy theories like “genocide real” and “Israel caused the famine” with some propaganda ass source to justify why they hate Jews instead of just goosestepping honestly like most of y’all and demand I treat you will respect

you want respect you come off anon and give some actual ass sources with WORKING LINKS and dropped the “now that everyone hates will you stop playing hard to get and admit my goysplaining trumps your lived experience ” attitude, THEN we’ll talk

tankie goy punk fuck off,

Cecil