#i want to be able to enjoy my existence

[beelzlikes]

Part of my problem is I'm NOT scared. I'm a trust fund baby, Capitalism worked for my parents and they do have millions of dollars.

I did the math: if I had just $1 million and only paid myself the yearly salary I get for my job, I'd be set for the next 25 years. That's longer than I ever planned on actually staying alive!

If I had no pride or self-worth left, I would beg and cry and lie for that money. Try to convince my parents to just give it to me. Oh the things I'd do!

I'd pay off my house and buy a new car. Hell, I'd even pay back my student loans right away. Then maybe go on a quick vacation before sitting down to write a book...

Ah, it's all too good to be true. So instead, I'll wait like a good little boy. My parents are healthy and wise, they aren't going to be dying any time soon, so I won't be getting any of that inheritance money from them until they pass away. Which... Doesn't help me now. At all. In fact, it makes things both stressful AND underwhelming. I have to work to keep my head above water, knowing all the while there's a lifeboat just a few feet to the side, but if I try to grab hold of it, people bat me away with their oars.

"Hey! What did you do to DESERVE getting in this lifeboat? We all worked and earned our place on the lifeboat, there's no room for slackers here. You can wait for a vacancy to open in a few years. But in the meantime you can just drown."

And yet by the same token, why would I bother doing anything for myself when I know it doesn't matter in the long run? I'm supposed to make something of myself? Why not just let my life fall into ruin, accumulate hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt cause I know when I get my inheritance I can make all that disappear. So why bother trying to PREVENT those things from happening when at the end of the day I'm going to be a millionaire anyway...

Ugh, I'm pathetic. Listen to me complain about how rich my family is and how I don't want to work the endless capitalist grind. But if it comes down to asking my parents for bail out money or killing myself... hmmm... actually, that's harder to choose than I thought...

[fireplaceisanyplace]

I've seen a few fics and posts about Charles learning about Edwardian courting customs and courting Edwin. I've read one or two fics about Edwin learning Urdu or Hindi. What about Edwin learning about Indian culture as something that's connected to Charles' mother's side of the family that, presumably, his father tried to supress, and his peers killed him for, but is something Charles can freely connect with and reclaim without that threat?

This is all to say I want to see Edwin explaining his suitability as a husband friend to a bunch of Charles' old relatives that can see ghosts and them being confused because it seems like the dead boys already got gay ghost married 30+ years ago and Charles saying that he can't say for certain that he's in love with Edwin and all his relatives rolling their eyes and asking what that has to do with marriage and obviously some form of love has grown and they're doing fine, no grandchildren or reincarnation, but they're accepting the gay thing, so they can accept those oddities too.

[egophiliac]

so have you heard about the ride kamens app game? seems like it's gonna be a twisted wonderland like game with all the riders being hot anime guys now, and it's also gonna be written by yuya takahashi and produced by naomi takebe (apparently it was in development before geats), with designs by the person who did sk8 the infinity, so take that for what you will

have you ever gotten the feeling that a piece of media came into existence just to appeal to you specifically, or

(brb preregistering immediately)

(as far as I can tell you play as an agent who maintains a secret superhero base for riders in the basement of the rider-themed cafe that you run with your butler, and there's some other plot stuff going on but honestly I'm way past sold at this point, this sounds amazing)

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[torchickentacos]

Is this a safe place to admit that I tried really hard to get into MCR when I was a fourteen year old emo, but I never could???

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also "textless" versions of these, wahooo

[sucktacular]

I miss the days where existing online was a fun thing for ppl with social anxiety to make friends on instead of like Life 2.0 ya know

[aspynnwoofs]

hey, anyone else want to slam their head into a wall any time they have a slightly less good thought?

or anything else really

i just constantly want to destroy my head ig

also bite things (my hand)

[crescentfool]

guys. isn't being alive so cool. there are. so many swag people in my life. some of them don't even know i exist but i know that they exist and they're doing cool shit and i look at them with fondness that's enough for me.

the people who do know that i exist are also wonderful and i cherish them so much beyond human comprehension its unreal to me that in another lifetime i wouldn't know such splendid souls but they are here with me now and i think that's all that matters.

and there's so many cool little creatures and animals and plants and whatnot and even if i don't know shit about them i think its so cool that somewhere out there these things spark whimsy and joy and breathe life into people that their brain is like a cozy little library of encyclopedia knowledge.

the way in which life can take us on so many fun journeys and paths even if it may not look like anything to us in the moment i think it's so fucking neat to be able to walk this path and that even in hardship there will be good for us eventually and stories to tell for getting through these things.

guys i love being alive im so happy i love life and i'm so glad that i can feel a depth of emotions because it means i can be grateful for so many cool things like this.

i hope you all have something to love in life too you are so epic and swag for reading this and i think you will absolutely be able to skyrocket out of the universe to do the thing you want to do. keep on keeping on fellow humans!!!

[faggling]

I love taking care of people omggg 😍😍😍

[electricpurrs]

i need to be a cute boy and wear cute clothing i need to have strangers talk to me and say "btw i love your outfit!" i neeeeeeed to feel pretty and enjoy my presentation in fun ways. or ill DIE

[riraro489]

They say that isolation is one of the worst forms of torture...

[lilacthebooklover]

if i die, i just want you all to know that being on here has been brilliant thus far. the communities here are so welcoming & the people are so friendly; i've made so many wonderful friends on here, and wouldn't have it any other way. this site & fandom culture have given me something to do in my free time & to be passionate about. it's let me meet amazing people from all over the world and feel liked. i hope this will be able to continue on for many many years, but if it can't, thank you for giving me all of the lovely moments & memories we've shared up until now :)

[pawbeanies]

all my friends are pursuing their passions and dreams and living in other countries and moving out of their hometowns and the most exciting thing ive done all year is decorate my cubicle slightly

[johndonneswife]

[friendlynaborhooddisapointment]

the dream would be a 15hour week workday at a low stress job not that far from home but not too close it feels intimate to your home, a small mangable appartment that wont fall apartwith furnishings i like,bills that arnt stress inducing in a way that make me think about money all the time, and just chill and do my hobbies when im not doing all the other things people have to do in their adult to not be that sad life like cook and clean and talk to people