#but while we continue to ask ourselves what the point of life is

[lilacthebooklover]

if i die, i just want you all to know that being on here has been brilliant thus far. the communities here are so welcoming & the people are so friendly; i've made so many wonderful friends on here, and wouldn't have it any other way. this site & fandom culture have given me something to do in my free time & to be passionate about. it's let me meet amazing people from all over the world and feel liked. i hope this will be able to continue on for many many years, but if it can't, thank you for giving me all of the lovely moments & memories we've shared up until now :)

[sharoo]

Self-knowledge as a theme in STP messes me up so bad, bros.

This all starts with how little the Princess can tell you if you ask her about herself. How little you can say about yourself, more often than not. Most of the time Quiet doesn't even know what they look like!

The Narrator makes it a point to make the Princess' cluelessness, her lack of self-knowledge, into deception, but really, both the protagonists don't know themselves. How could they?

The concepts of bounds, of something that isn't you, the distinction of "self" and "other", "you" and "I", the concept of something being not like yourself... this is the first time this deity which is now two has ever experienced it.

The Shifting Mound and the Long Quiet did not exist until the Narrator tore a whole into parts.

Now, this deity in twain has to reorient. It has only begun existing, it's not yet known itself. A toddler has to develop a self-concept, and the concepts of others.

Now imagine, for the first time in your solitary existence, that there is something that you are not. Unknowable, foreign.

What are they like, you think? Are they a friend? Should I get to know them? Are they a foe? I do not know them, I cannot trust them... Or can I?

This brings to mind, of all things, Contrapoints' video on Twilight, where she speaks about the concepts of Union and Division in relation to love. And while she speaks of it in terms of eros, it can apply here just as easily, romantically and platonically.

Love is the union of two beings. We love because something outside of us allows us to be more than ourself. In others, many seek that which they lack. We seek out people so that we may develop through our similarities and contrasts with them, to change an be changed.

We seek out people because there can be no I without a You. To exist in a void is not a fulfilling experience.

We cannot discover ourself if he have nothing that allows us to compare ourself. The mirrors elude us throughout the game, always leading to the princess - she is the only way we may know ourselves, the mirrors tease as they disappear. And at the end of the route, only then, can you see yourself, now that you have a complete knowledge of yourself in a given scenario, with a given persona.

Was the princess someone you decided to trust? Or to betray? Was she a foe? A friend? A nightmare? A victim?

You both try to find out who you are through your relationship.

The princess assumes many faces and attitudes in response to you, you assume voices and attitudes in response to her. You're two batches of clay shaping each other at the same time. It's almost like knowing someone your entire life, seeing them go through different phases as they try to find out their identity in the world, their place. The 5 routes, whatever they be, are your "adolescence".

And growing means you will hurt each other, intentionally or not. There will be fights, disagreements, there will be heartache, and comfort and love.

And everything will pass.

Shifty, before she's complete, before she discovers her godhood, makes this point so clear.

How could she not be kind to you? You are the only thing in this place that is not her. What reason could she have to hate you? To make the only friend she could have into an enemy?

That's why, at the end of every route, all hurts are forgiven. All the heartache is acknowledged, understood, and then she moves on. So that you may continue being together, so that she may see what else you do.

Even godhood can become a phase. The Shifting Mound recognises what you both were, but it need not be you unless you accept it. Because self-knowledge is unending. You are always changing, and you can always change.

You can accept being a god, and that becomes you.

You can reject being a god, and that becomes you.

You are by that point an "adult". The figure trying to dictate who both of you are is gone, and you can decide for yourself.

I think this is partially why I love the Leave with Stranger ending the best of all the endings. You begin it by avoiding knowledge of yourself and of another. The self can only exist as far as it is not like the others.

And you meet the Stranger, this being who knows so little about herself, because she too has been deprived of another. The route is quick. It really cannot amount to much, because if you don't know yourself, it's so hard to build a relationship.

But at the end, they've matured. You gave each other time to become fuller beings. You met this person again and they seem so much happier with themself than they were in youth.

I love how they say "We're just a stranger.", and the voices point out how it needn't be sad that you don't know her, unless you make it out to be. You can get to know them, the real them, and they can do that with you.

The way the Stranger speaks if the position of a God only underlines how much the heart of the Shifting Mound can understand self-knowledge.

They speak of how they feel themself be pulled towards taking the position of godhood, of being everything, yet find it confining. Restricting.

"We want more. We want whatever might be on the other side of this door. Something new, that we'll experience together. With someone who exists outside of us. Someone who can see us in a way we can never see ourself."

Self-knowledge through relationships and reflection on how you impact other people.

[edenfenixblogs]

2 am rant cuz I can’t sleep:

I’ve stated repeatedly that I’m pro-Palestine and pro-peace, so I obviously want a two sided, negotiated ceasefire and permanent peace for all. I’ve repeatedly stated that I do not condone the degree of heavy bombing taking place in Gaza.

But it’s currently 2:15 in the morning and I am haunted. I’m haunted by the fact that the world saw the brutal attack on Jews and celebrated. I’m haunted by the number of high l-profile celebrities who felt moved to speak out for Palestine — wearing flags and pins and signing demands for Israel to stop bombing, but who said nothing about the dead and tortured and kidnapped Jews.

Yes, what is happening in Palestine is and continues to be a tragedy.

But apparently what happened and is happening to Jews worldwide and Israelis of all religions simply isn’t. At least not enough of one. Not enough of one to move these high-profile folks to speak out for us. Not enough of a tragedy to say the names of the hostages, including one forced to give birth while kidnapped by terrorists. Not enough of a tragedy to condemn the violence happening against Jews. Not enough to speak out on behalf of a 20-year-old singer made to fear for her life because she dared to be from Israel and sing about her own trauma instead of, idk, bursting into flame or shutting up or whatever the mob wanted her to do.

No. What happens to us isn’t a tragedy. It’s a nuisance. It’s a nuisance to have to care about Jews. It gets in the way of everyone else feeling good about their “radical activism” and self-aggrandizing bravery. People of all levels and types of fame. All of whom say they only want peace and an end to pain. Yet when they mention pain, it’s always and only the Palestinian flag. When they want a ceasefire, it’s always an only in reference to Palestine. But they wouldn’t be caught dead asking for an end to Hamas or Hezbollah bombs or even acknowledging that they exist. All calls for peace involve asking Israel to lay down arms but no call for anyone attack Israel, Israelis, or Jews worldwide to do the same.

From large creators to small creators to people in day to day life, non-Jews around the world have made clear that it would be more convenient for them if we Jews just died. If we stopped ever defending ourselves or speaking up or being sad in public.

The vast majority of people speaking out would or will view this post as a justification of violence. But it’s not. It’s a condemnation of complicity from people who claim to care about peace. It is a condemnation of those who claim to be against antisemitism yet refuse to listen when Jews point out how they are contributing to and spreading more antisemitism. People and institutions worldwide have failed Jews everywhere.

Cats Blanchett

Mark Ruffalo

Billie Eilish

Viola Davis

Lena Heady

Susan Sarandon

Ava DuVernay

Hozier

Sara Ramirez

Annie Lennox

Cynthia Nixon

Angelina Jolie

Multiple UN groups and resolutions

College students and professors across the world

Friends I’ve had for 8 years who don’t even respond to messages that I have moved out of state or even spoken to me in at least five months

So many people who are so eager to read every bit of pro-Palestine news that exists and condemn every action from Israel.

And yet…

Before the bombings. Before the reprisals. Before all the violence from Israel: where were they? All these people who so desperately beg for peace (as defined by the end of Israeli aggression only): where were they when it was just dead Jews? Where were the Instagram posts and educational content and in depth analyses of Israeli trauma and history? Where were the condemnations of Hamas? Where were those who are moved to speak for anyone and everyone but Jews?

Are we really supposed to believe any of you actually want peace? When you chant for the globalization of terror tactics that traumatized a generation of Israeli Jews? When you fail to acknowledge Jewish history in any way except to minimize it?

Before the bombing campaign, where were the red carpet statement pins and gowns featuring Jewish stars?

How are we Jews anywhere in the world literally ever supposed to believe that you’re not actively cheering for our deaths? Maybe not in front of our faces, but certainly behind our backs. We know. We know you’re afraid to be less than tactful in front of us, but that you describe our rapes and murders and social exclusion and kidnappings as “unfortunate but necessary.”

I’m reminded of when Israel was first created. At a time where every Jew on earth was traumatized directly because the Holocaust firsthand, Britain left the territory of mandatory Palestine and the UN allowed for the creation of a Jewish state. And then proceeded to heckle the traumatized survivors for handling its creation poorly. The Nakba is a tragedy and an outrage and I’ll never deny that.

But…y’all are no different from the people who stood on the sidelines as Israel was first created. Why was it up to an actively traumatized people who had very recently (and after a continuous 2,000 year period of expulsions and pogroms and murders) been slaughtered on an industrial scale to somehow create a perfect and stable government in a land where people despised them?

The world needs to own up to the fact that everything that ever went wrong in Israel’s creation is a direct result of the continuous and still ongoing contempt for Jews by all the other countries that could have stepped in to help and provide Jews with a guarantee of safety at any time in the last 2,000 years in general but also since 1934 specifically. And you didn’t. Your great grandparents and grandparents and parents all didn’t do jack shit. And you are following in their footsteps. You are all doing just as they did: standing on the sidelines and heckling the Jews you don’t like for fighting back too aggressively.

But what exactly have you or anyone else done to help Jews in your communities or in Israel to not feel like caged animals forced to fight for survival? Like wild beasts you let loose for slaughter in a coliseum for your own enjoyment? At what point have you worked to provide Jews with other options? How have you made the Jews in your life feel safe or seen during this time? How have you started to deconstruct the harmful anti-Jewish bias you inherited from the people you love?

Is it ok that Netanyahu and the Likud government is bombing Palestine to the extent it is currently doing? Of course not. And I’ll never say otherwise.

But aside from yelling “hey stop it!” at Israel or “you’re complicit!” at Jews who fail to join your chanting, what exactly have you done at any point since this started to make the world safer for any of us?

Because from what I can see, the vast majority of you have done nothing. And every Jew I’ve spoken to in the last half a year has seen the exact same nothing.

Too many of you are too concerned with being on the right side of history. Most of you aren’t famous actors or musicians or whatever. Most of you are just people. History won’t remember you individually. Who knows what history will say about the movements of which you were a part? My guess is that you’ll be called passionate and outraged and sympathetic, but ultimately disorganized and misguided.

But you know who will remember you? Every Jew you’ve encountered since 10/7. We will remember each individual we saw who celebrated our death or ghosted us or made us feel unwelcome in our own lives.

We will remember you forever. And not fondly.

[chuwenjie]

Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse comes out later today so I wanted to write a post reflecting on my journey and experience working on this movie. So many people have supported me through this and I am so thankful to each and every one of you!

Text version of this post under the cut:

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse comes out tonight. It feels really weird to be typing that out right now. I worked on the movie as a visdev artist for the last 2.5 years, from 2020 to 2023. Long post incoming.

There are a lot of reasons why I'd consider this film to be one of the most ambitious animated films to ever be made. As artists, we were asked to push ourselves far beyond our comfort zones and do things that had never been done before in animation.

Every time we reached a point where most people would say "this must possibly be as creative and weird as it gets," our entire team of artists and animators would smash right through the ceiling. The driving direction for the visuals of the film was to push the limits of every single frame; to challenge audience expectations and make something truly original.

The best thing about this film was that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie. The hardest thing about this film was also that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie.

There were times while working on this where the imposter syndrome hit me hard. This was my first big movie, and what a hell of a first movie to get thrust into.

I came in only a few years out of school with absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I constantly feared that someone had made a mistake in bringing me onto this film, and I was going to let everyone down. There was a solid chunk of those 2.5 years where I wasn't sure if animation was the right path for me.

If there's anything I could tell my past self it would be this: there are so many people who love you and believe in you. There will be a time when you get to stand on the other side of it, look back on everything and see how far you came.

I'm still working on self-acceptance every day (it will be a lifelong struggle, I'm sure), but I'm glad I didn't give up on myself. I'm proud of myself and my contributions to this film, and I'm certain that this movie will continue to change and shape the animation landscape just as the first one did. That's truly a special feeling to have been a part of. I am so incredibly grateful to every single person who helped me along this journey.

Here come the thanks:

To the ENTIRE visdev & art crew- it's been an honor getting to work alongside each and every one of you. My jaw is literally still on the floor from seeing your incredible talent day after day.

I want to thank Tiffany and Felicia especially for being there for me through tough times- I admire and respect you both so much as artists, and even better than that, my life is greatly enriched for being able to call you my friends.

Thank you Patrick and Dean for taking chances on me, teaching me so much about art and what I'm capable of, and encouraging me along the way. To Aymeric, your art is one of the reasons I initially became interested in animation and you have been one of the kindest & most empathetic mentors I could ever have asked for.

I want to thank my wonderful parents for believing in me always and raising me into the person I am today: everything I do in life is to make you proud. To my brother Andrew who is perpetually awake at 3 AM when I need someone to talk to- thank you for always picking up the phone and making me laugh.

And finally to my partner Luke for making me grilled cheeses on all of the difficult days, for never getting sick of me even when all I would ever talk about was work, and for patiently and steadfastly loving me throughout this entire thing. I don't think I could've done it without you.

Starting tomorrow I will begin posting and sharing some of the art I made for this movie; I'm looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with you. I hope each and every one of you enjoys Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse when it hits theaters later today!

[mcu-coworkers]

Exploring The Prince

Summary: Seeing Aegon again brought something new out of you.

Pairing: Aegon ii Targaryen X Targaryen reader

A/N: This is a part 2 to A Weeks Time which can be read here I plan to continue this series as season 2 goes on so I will tag those parts as I go. I hope you like them and enjoy. :)

(As always I do not own the gif or the characters involved :))

You had traveled from Dragonstone to Kingslanding countless times before this.

But back then it was different, back then you were going to visit your grandfather and cousins nervous for what would break out in a fight first.

Between your cousins and brothers there was always something.

You were lucky to have Helaena in all of this. If not for her they would have driven you to insanity.

”Are you ready my dearest sister?” Lucerys asked as he crept up behind you.

The three of you decided to ride on a dragon back to Kingslanding while your mother and Daemon rode with your younger siblings.

This only meant you would arrive some time earlier than your mother and Daemon, luckily you have your brothers by your side.

” I am as ready as I can be brother.” You answered with a soft smile.

”My sister, do you want this? This marriage to Aegon?” He asked.

Turning to him I noticed his look of confusion.

”It was not an idea of mine, but it is my duty if it is requested by the king.” You answered as you walked closer to him. “Does it bother you Luke?” You asked, looking at his face for an answer.

Although a blind man could have seen it from miles away.

”They aren’t very fond of us, they never have been. I just don’t want him or his brother to take it out on you, I worry for you my sister.” He said taking your hand in his.

”Luke, you are an angel sent from the gods themselves.” You exclaimed as you hugged him tightly.

Moments like this made your eyes tear up, Rhaena was lucky to be his betrothed.

“ I promise you, If I need your rescue I will fly back to Dragonstone at once.” You said smiling at him hoping to ease his conscience.

Before he could say anything else Jacaerys interrupted you both by joining in on your hug.

”Will the two of you wrap this up? We must get on with it if we want to deliver our sister to the wolves by the end of day Luke.” He said attitude dripping from every word.

Deadpanning and looking at Jace he ruined your efforts to ease Lukes mind.

”Jacaerys! I am not being fed to the wolves and if I were I have my dragon I can come back at anytime.” You responded annoyed with your brothers sour mood.

”Besides, Aegon has yet to cause me any discomfort.” You said as a matter of fact.

”That’s because out of us four,” he said pointing at us, “You are the only one who resembles them.” He said, swirling a strand of your white hair in his finger.

”That is not my fault Jacaerys. I wish it were different.” You said feeling a sense of guilt.

You didn’t know why things happened the way that they did but they did and you had no choice in the color of your hair.

Only the gods know why you did.

Sighing, Jacaerys knew he let his mouth go too far.

”My apologies my sister, I did not mean to upset you.” He said this time with a genuine tone in his voice.

Grabbing both of their hands you made them look at you.

”This moment in my life is meant to bring peace between our families, promise me you won’t do or say anything to ruin that? Please.” You begged.

You couldn’t live in a world where you had to choose between your brothers and your betrothed.

You wouldn’t.

Looking at each other your brothers sighed as a form of acceptance.

”You have our word sister, we will not start anything, we will only defend ourselves should they start it first.” Jacaerys finished.

You couldn’t win with these two but you’d take anything at this point.

”Thank you,” You said as you hugged them both, “Now shall we get going? We have a long day of travel ahead of us.” You said as you led them to your dragons.

——

While you rode through the sky with your brothers Kingslanding prepared for your arrival.

Among them was Aegon.

Last he saw you, your brothers had taken Aemonds eye and your mother married Daemon.

All of these years and just now he wondered what you might look like now.

He wondered if you were still and kind and gentle as he remembered.

If your hair was still as soft as it felt when he’d play with it while he told you stories of all the dragon riders he read about.

He knew one day you’d grow to be a beautiful young woman and any man would be lucky to have you at his side.

Little did he know that when that day came he was to be that man for you.

And he only hoped to be enough.

”Lost in thought my brother? I don’t believe I have ever seen you this silent.” A voice said behind him.

Turning to reveal Aemond as the voice to startle his thoughts he turns back to his view of the city.

”That’s because I ’ve never been my dearest brother.” He said, admitting to his change.

”And what’s brought this out of you?” Aemond pushes, although he already knew the answer.

The truth is Aemond had known for years, no one calmed Aegon the way your presence did. It surprised him that Aegon didn’t realize this in the years you two lived under the same roof.

He questioned if Aegon himself even knew it now. How could one be so blind yet have both eyes?

He’d never understand.

“Just saving my energies for Jacaerys and Luke, you know they can come in quite strong sometimes.” He said absentmindedly.

Aegon didn’t want to let Aemond in on his thoughts.

They were of you, and you were pure, he would not let his brothers hatred for yours damage that image.

Chuckling at Aegon Aemond smirks, “And there he is.”

”Now that I see you are well and intact, I should have you know that she arrived quite some time ago.” Aemond said, unable to hold back his amusement at the way his brother's head whipped in his direction.

“What? How long ? I didn’t expect them so soon.” He said standing to walk past his brother.

”They rode on dragon back, seems its only her and her brothers.” Aemond said with mischief in his tone.

Aegon stopped in his tracks upon hearing it.

”Listen to me brother, any ideas you may have, rid yourself of them. If not for her sake then mine. She deserves none of it.” Aegon said, “Give me your word Aemond.” He finished forcing his brother to look him in the eyes.

”Fine, you have my word. But do not waste your time looking for her now, the queen has taken it upon herself to receive them. You won't see her until dinner tonight.” Aemond said, walking past his brother.

Damn my mother and her ways.

——

Dinner could not have arrived soon enough for the both of you.

The Queen managed to keep you quite “busy” for all those hours with her rant of her new found religion.

Aegon on the other hand was forced to pace in his quarters, too annoyed to deal with anyone yet too impatient to sit still and read one of his books.

He wondered if you’d still like to listen to the stories he read like before.

Or if your brothers had poisoned your mind with whatever distasteful thoughts that came out of their mouths.

The thought angered Aegon.

Before he could indulge in such poisonous thoughts a maid knocked on his door.

”Dinner is ready to be served my lord.” She said quickly before turning away.

Finally, Aegon thought.

Aegon all but barged in into the dining room expecting to see everyone but finding no one.

��Dammit.” He cursed as he grabbed a cup and served himself a large amount of wine.

Sitting himself in his assigned seat he waited for the rest to follow.

After your afternoon with the queen you had only a few moments to ready yourself for dinner before your brothers came in to walk you down.

As the three of you walked down the halls you began to fiddle with your fingers.

What if he changed? What if he really was all that you heard and worse?

Standing at the doors of the dining room you took a deep breath and prepared yourself.

Whatever he was now, he was to be your husband and only that could you be sure of.

As the doors opened you put on your gentlest smile and prepared yourself for whatever greeting you’d be given.

”There they are, come my grandchildren.” Viserys said as he waved for you all to join his side.

Quickly you did as he asked joyfully to hear his voice.

”Hello grandfather.” You said as you bowed to his grace.

“My dear y/n how beautiful you’ve come to be, come sit next to your betrothed.” He said, turning to Aegon.

You could feel your brothers stare at the back of your head as you turned yourself to face Aegon.

Walking towards him you bowed your head slightly, “My prince.”

“My betrothed.” He answered with a quiet smile.

Offering his hand to you, taking his hand you walked with him and sat by his side.

Sitting down you began to feel how different things would be.

Your brothers across from you instead of next to you and you next to Aegon.

“Lost in thought?” You heard from next to you.

Turning you came face to face with Aegon.

“My apologies, This is the first I have a second to do so.” You said, taking in his features.

Blue eyes, soft skin. His hair was shorter.

His shoulders more broad, jawline sharper. It was no surprise to you that Aegon aged well.

“Tell me.” He requested softly.

“May I be honest, my prince?” You asked.

My prince, Aegon thought. In that you were right. From the moment he saw you walk in those doors he was devotedly yours.

“ If I am to be your husband, we must learn to trust each other so please, be honest.” He said, watching your eyes soften sensing your relief brought him happiness.

Smiling, you talked to him about your day with the queen and how little interest you truly had in the faith of the seven but listened to her out of respect to your queen.

It wasn’t until you began to talk about your ride here that he finally saw your features light up.

The way you spoke of your dragon, the smile you carried, the glimmer in your eyes.

He only hoped you’d glow like this at the mention of his name some day.

Eventually dinner came to an end and your brothers stood to walk you back to your room.

“ I can walk her back to her room, Jacaerys.” Aegon insisted on wanting to have more time with you.

“Don’t be mad, it is not custom for you to be alone until you wed, come sister.” Jacaerys demanded for your hand.

Wanting to avoid a fight, you took your brother's hand and bid Aegon goodnight.

You enjoyed your time with him and could only wish it lasted longer but for now you’d wait until tomorrow.

Aegon watched as your brothers whisked you away to your chambers only wishing he could follow.

Instead he found the nearest bottle of wine and his glass and took himself to his chambers to await for the next day full of you to come.

After some while of not being able to find sleep you debated finding a maid to bring you tea or just simply taking a stroll in the garden to bring you peace.

Deciding for the ladder you grabbed your robe and made your way to the door.

Opening your door you stopped in your tracks when you came to face with Aegon back facing you.

“Aegon.” you said gently.

Turning to face you Aegon tries to make up an excuse as to why he was at your door late in the night.

Not finding any he decides to allow his mind to speak freely.

“ I couldn’t sleep, I needed someone to talk to. Is that alright?” He said, taking steps towards you.

“ I am your betrothed Aegon, it is my duty to tend to you now.” You said as you looked into his eyes a dark blue you had yet to witness from him.

A look you didn’t recognize just yet, but you would soon.

“May I come in my dearest?” Aegon asked looking down at you too close for temptation.

Giving it no second thought you stepped aside allowing him the space to come in.

Smiling at your invitation he walked in and settled for a couch at the foot of your bed.

Only then as you walked towards him did he notice your attire.

A silk gown covered with a silk robe, your hair brushed out and beautiful.

You made it difficult for him to respect your virtue and you didn’t even know it.

Sitting beside him you waited for him to speak.

Too distracted in his own thoughts you decided to interrupt.

“So what was it?” You asked breaking the silence.

“Hmm? What was what?” Aegon asked being brought back to reality.

You smiled amused at his ability to get lost in his thoughts just as easy as you did.

Realizing what you meant he quickly worked to find the words.

“Right well,” he paused turning to look at you unsure of how you would feel by his question, “What is the craziest thing you’ve done?” He asked.

Slightly taken aback by his question you took a second to think.

“ I - I am not sure by what you mean, the craziest?” You asked hoping he’d clarify.

Turning his full body to you he clarified, “When your mother was younger I heard of the stories where she’d sneak past the walls of the castle and sneak off. Have you ever done such a thing?” He asked curious to know how much you resembled your mother.

This statement made you timid toward the prince.

You’d never even thought to do such a thing. Maybe he’d find you too innocent for his liking at the revelation.

Sensing your answer in your silence Aegon reassured you by putting a hand on your lap.

“It’s alright if you’ve done nothing of the sort, we'll soon have our chance to do all sorts of things. The castle will be yours to do as you please.” He said rubbing his hand on your thigh not realizing the touch as innocent as it was left you feeling hot.

This was new to you.

The thoughts that ran through your mind as he continued to lay his hand upon you so gently.

“All sorts of things?” You asked barely above a whisper as you inched yourself closer to Aegon.

Any kind of sense leaving your mind.

“Yes, we can start exploring tonight if you’d like. Is there something you would like to see?” He asked, noticing your sudden closeness again reminding himself of his need for restraint.

“Anything?” You asked, a look of innocence in your eyes.

“Anything.” He whispered, kissing your hand.

Observing the act you pondered your next move.

On one hand you knew this was wrong on so many levels on the other hand you were losing sight of that mentality the longer his hand stayed in place.

Letting temptation win you take a hold of his hand as you look into his eyes and move his hand to the place where you need him to explore.

You know he’ll be able to help you with this temptation, after all he was to be your husband.

Looking down at the new location of his hand he clenched his jaw fighting for what little restraint he had left.

“My dearest-“ he tried but it only brought you closer to him as he began to lose what little control he had over himself.

Close enough to close the gap with a kiss. But Aegon knew it wouldn’t end with that if you allowed him.

“We are to be wed. Why not explore me?” You asked looking down at his lips wondering how it would feel to be kissed.

His breath hitched in his throat at your words.

“Why must you make it so hard to respect your virtue?” He asked, feeling your hand on his face.

“Then don’t my prince.” You said pulling him to you and closing the gap with a soft gentle kiss.

Pulling away to look into his eyes you saw the darkness behind them now understanding what it was.

For you felt it for him too.

Pulling you back to him this time Aegon grabbed you by the waist and put you on top of him as he kissed you deeply with passion as you tangled your hands into his hair.

Groaning at the sensation Aegon pulled your hips down to meet his, your heat only growing at the sensation of his cock.

Gasping as he moved your hips together, “Aegon,” you moaned into his ear needing more.

Quickly Aegon picked you up and moved you both to your bed.

“This is what you desire?” He asked, looking into your eyes and seeing them filled with lust.

“You are what I desire.” You said breathless and eager.

Those words were all Aegon needed before taking off what was left of the clothing you two had.

kissing your stomach he gently made his way up to you breast massaging your nipple gently whilst peppering kisses on the other sucking lightly on your nipple.

His touch brought quiet moans out of you as you indulge in the pleasure he gave you.

“Aegon please.” You moaned, pulling his face up to meet with yours.

Hoisting your leg onto his waist he lowered himself to kiss your lips.

“You’ll tell me if it's too much?” He asked wanting to hear your reassurance.

“Yes.” You whispered as you kissed the surface of his face not being able to get enough of him.

Kissing your lips once more this time he gently pushed himself in groaning at the sensation of your tightness.

Gasping at his size you looked down as you saw him slowly entering you, stretching your walls the deeper he went.

“Just a little more y/n, that’s it.” He said trying to focus on keeping it slow for you.

Once he was fully inside he gave you a moment to adjust before pulling himself out entirely and thrusting back in gently this time forming a pace you could grow used to.

Slowly the pain of the stretch began to turn into pleasure and your gasps turned into moans needing more

“Aegon,” you moaned into his ear, “Faster please.” You said as you wrapped your other leg around him.

“Fuck,” he said as he tried to hold on to what control he had from releasing into you too soon but your words only brought him closer.

Quickening his thrusts he grabbed a hold of your hip with one hand and held himself up with the other.

Looking down at your face almost brought him overboard as he saw the look of pleasure in your eyes.

His innocent betrothed lying beneath him as he plunged his cock deep into her soaking wet pussy.

And it was soaking wet for him.

“Aegon I - I’m-“ you tried to say but you were cut off by another moan yet he knew what you meant.

“ I know my darling, together.” He said as he rested his forehead on hers closing his eyes as he felt her tightening around him.

“Aegon!” She moaned, getting louder by the second.

Quickly Aegon kissed her to cover the sound of their climax until she came back down.

Kissing her forehead one last time before pulling out of y/n and falling to her side to catch his breath he thought about what just took place.

As did she.

Until this day she had never even had such impure thoughts.

She’d never understood what it was that came over her but the look in Aegon's eyes in that moment told her she wouldn’t need to.

Turning to face him she met him face to face with her innocent smile once again.

“For someone who said they needed someone to talk to, you didn’t do much talking,” you said, smiling.

“ I will have you all of daylight to listen to me talk tomorrow will I not?” He asked moving the few stray hairs from your face.

“You will, my prince.” You whispered as slumber began to consume your body.

Pulling you to his side Aegon kissed your head one last time before closing his eyes as well.

“Then until then my dearest.” He said as he joined you in slumber feeling a sense of fullness with you in his arms.

At Least until morning came.

[thewritingrowlet]

The Office Romance pt. 1, ft. tripleS Seoyeon, Kep1er Dayeon

tags: creampie, daddy kink

length: 8k+

author's note: It's been a long while since I've written about Seoyeon. So, to rectify that, I'm featuring her in this start of another series (this feels like a bad idea, ngl).

-

“Miss Yoon, to my office, please,” you say into the landline on your desk that’s connected to Seoyeon’s. “On my way, sir.”

Within seconds, Seoyeon appears in front of your eyes, and you lock the door behind her with a push of a button. “Sir?” You shake your head. “It’s not the time for that.” She knows what you’re getting at. “Oppa?” “I miss you, sweetheart.” She looks at you confusedly. “Sorry?” You take a deep breath before continuing your point. “We haven’t spent time for ourselves recently, have we, sweetie—we’ve been so busy with work.”

Seoyeon sits on the empty chair on the other side of the desk. “That’s true,” she sighs, “so, what’s your idea?” You suggest getting lunch together, but she seems hesitant to take you up on the offer. “People will see, though,” she says quietly. You close your eyes as realization hits: only a handful of people (who you trust the most) know about you and Seoyeon, and it’s safer for the both of you to keep it that way.

Without command, tears start flowing out of your eyes, and Seoyeon jumps off her chair in shock. “Huh, what—oppa, are you okay?” You nod. “I-I’m fine; I just realized how complicated our relationship is.” Seoyeon isn’t convinced that you’re fine, so she pulls you onto your feet and hugs you tightly. You put your lips on her forehead, feeling apologetic for bringing this life upon your lovely girlfriend. “I’m so sorry, sweetie—I didn’t mean to drag you into this life like this.”

Seoyeon has been your number one supporter since day one; she’s been by your side through all the ups and downs of the company, unwavering in her approach to this difficult job while maintaining the other side of the coin as your girlfriend. She’s doing all these things for you, and the only things she’s asking in return are your loyalty to her and commitment to the job—on top of appropriate pay, of course.

“It’s a good thing that you’re paying me a ton for this,” Seoyeon tries to lighten the mood. You crack a little laugh. “I’m glad that it’s enough for you.” She looks at you in the eyes. “I mean, with sex on top of it, it’s more than enough.” You smile a little before frowning again when another realization hits. “We haven’t had sex in a week,” you say quietly. Your girlfriend smiles, showing you the incredible patience that you admire her for. “It’s fine, oppa; like you said, we’ve been very busy with work.”

An idea enters your mind. “What do you say we spend this weekend for ourselves, sweetie?” Seoyeon nods enthusiastically. “Sounds great, oppa,” she says, “I must warn you, though: if you don’t touch me at least twice, I’m quitting this job.” “You got it, sweetie.”

Seoyeon asks you to return to your seat, and because you expect that she’ll want to leave your office and get back to work, you unlock the door for her. “I heard that,” she comments, “are you kicking me out, oppa?” You blink rapidly in confusion. “Excuse me?” She leans very closely towards you. “Don’t you want a blowjob first?” Her whispered words give you goosebumps everywhere, and you can’t help but nod. “That’s what I thought.”

Seoyeon pushes your chair backwards a little to make space for her to get on her knees. “Feed me your dick, oppa,” she allures. Without wasting too much time, you unzip your trousers and pull them down along with your boxers, exposing your hard cock to your girlfriend. “Omo, you’re excited to see me, aren’t you?”

You let out a moan when Seoyeon first lets you in her mouth. “That’s really good, baby—fuck, you’re so good.” Much to your satisfaction, your girlfriend starts bobbing her head along your length faster. Your eyes gradually close as your eyelids feel heavy, but that’s when she slaps your leg to get your attention—Seoyeon doesn’t like it when you’re not looking at her during a blowjob. “Sorry, baby; you’re just too good,” you reason.

She’s trying to say something, but because your shaft is lodged in her mouth, nothing but intelligible sounds come out. You see that she’s tapping the back of her head, though, so you guess that she wants you to put your hand there. “Alright, alright, here.” You place your hand on the back of her head, expecting nothing from her in return.

She proves you wrong, however, as she negotiates more of your shaft deeper into her mouth, possibly into her throat. “Good girl, baby,” you utter without thinking twice. Not satisfied yet, Seoyeon fixes her hands on your knees and forces herself to take the entirety of your length, ignoring whatever blaring alarm from her body and brain, and at the same time, taking you closer to cum-land.

“Baby,” you finally manage to say something, “I’m going to cum.” Seoyeon removes you from her mouth momentarily to gather herself. “S-sure,” she says between heavy pants, “one—oh, God, one second, please.” You lift her chin so that you can look right into her big, adorable eyes. “I love you,” you whisper to her, “thank you for making the time for this.”

You can tell that she wants to be kissed but is hesitant to come in for one considering your cock was just in her mouth, so you take the charge and kiss her passionately. “I like that,” Seoyeon quips, “that’s a green flag for me, you know.” You run a thumb back and forth on her cheek. “I love you, sweetie—I love you sooo much.” She smiles, a mix of cuteness and sexiness shown on her face. “Give me your cum, then, sir.”

Seoyeon opens her mouth as wide as she can, and there’s nothing better for you to do than to shove your cock into her mouth. “I’ll give you my cum, baby; don’t worry about nothing.” She closes her eyes when you start fucking her mouth while making sure her teeth are off your cock. “C’mon, Yoon Seoyeon, you can do this—you’ve done this dozens of times,” she tells herself. Thinking that you’re close, she fixes her hands on your knees again to prepare for your semen.

Even though she has prepared for it beforehand, Seoyeon still panics when her mouth is suddenly flooded with your cum. She tries to stay in place and receive everything, but despite her best efforts, it starts leaking out of the corners of her mouth, and she can only hope that it doesn’t land on her clothers. “Should’ve undressed first,” she thinks.

Salvation comes to her as you place a palm under her chin while pulling out at the same time. “Come here, sweetie.” You pull her head closer to you to help make sure her clothes stay clean. “Thank you, baby—thank you for everything,” you say as you clean her face with facial tissues.

“Do you want to spit that out, baby?” Seoyeon shakes her head, and instead swallows your load in one go. You show her a big smile. “You’re such an amazing girl, you know that?” She thanks you for the kind words (and the load). “Do I look okay, though, oppa? Am I too messy?” You run your fingers through her hair to help her tidy up. “Should be okay now, baby.” “Thanks, oppa.” She gives you a peck on the back of your hand. “See you later, okay?”

Seoyeon makes her way out of your office, and as soon as she closes the door behind her, she sees Dayeon, who’s sitting on a chair while hugging a big binder. “You were there a long time, Seoyeon-ah—what were you doing?” “I was just doing my job, Dayeon-ah,” she replies, trying to play it cool. “That must’ve been stressful, because your hair is quite messy,” Dayeon strikes for the second time. Seoyeon’s heart jumps a little, but she manages to deflect once again. “It was a pretty serious matter.”

She can tell that Dayeon isn’t entirely convinced, but whatever is in that binder matters more. “So, is he free now?” Seoyeon nods. “You might want to ring the bell first,” she adds, and apparently, it sounds odd to Dayeon, as proven by the raised eyebrows. “Is that so? Why, is he naked?” It’s getting hard for Seoyeon to stay serene. “No, but he has a lot of work other than whatever is in that thing.” “Sure, he does,” Dayeon presses the bell to your office, “well, see you later.”

Seoyeon watches on as Dayeon disappears behind the door to your office. “You’re not stealing him from me, you bi—” A ding from her phone interrupts her train of thoughts; it’s an incoming text from you, thanking her for making you cum and relieving some stress. “See this? He’s mine, not yours.” She takes a seat on her chair and promptly lets out a deep sigh. “Why are we doing it like this, oppa? Can’t we just tell the world we belong to each other?”

-

Dayeon enters your office with a big smile. “Yes, Miss Kim?” She reaches behind her head and frees her hair from the tie, showing you a rather sexy side of her. “Miss Kim? Really?” She slowly makes her way closer to your desk, and only now do you notice that the first two buttons on her blouse are undone, letting you peek at the white lacy bra she’s wearing underneath. “When are you going to treat me like you do Seoyeon-ie, boss? I don’t want to wait forever, you know.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Miss Kim,” you deflect, trying to stay solid under pressure. “Also, it’d be helpful if you'd stop trying to seduce me every time you walk into my office.”

Dayeon places her hands on your desk and bends forwards just enough for you to see her cleavage more freely. “Oh, c’mon, don’t be too hard on me.” She smirks when she catches you looking at her chest. “Don’t you want to touch these plump tits, boss?” You shake your head to both clear your mind and tell her no. “I have a girlfriend, Miss Kim,” you open a card, “please stop.”

You expect her to listen and stop trying to seduce you, but instead, she moves to sit on your desk with her legs slightly parted. “You’re such a good boyfriend, aren’t you, boss? Here you are, working hard at your company while she’s off doing God-knows-what.” “My girlfriend is a hard-working woman, Miss Kim,” you say, not accepting the slander. “So am I, and that’s why you should consider giving me a chance.” She must’ve missed the single most important detail of this exchange, which is the fact that you’re taken, but you just want to stop at this point. “Miss Kim, let’s address whatever you actually came here for, and we can pretend this never happened.”

Seeing that there’s no way to progress, Dayeon jumps off your table and tidies up her clothes. “Fine,” she sighs, “I guess we can talk about work instead.” She places the thick binder on your desk crassly. “These are reports on our trainees, let me know which of these girls you want to choose for debut.” “I need—” Dayeon interrupts by placing a flash drive on your desk. “Here are their practice videos,” she adds.

“Let me know about your thoughts about these girls soon, okay?” Dayeon then makes her way out of your office, and as soon as she disappears behind that door, you let out a big sigh. “Why are we doing it like this, Seoyeon-ah? Can’t we just tell the world that we belong to each other?”

-

“Seoyeon-ah, why are you still here?” Your question snaps her out of focus, making her jump in shock a little bit. “Oh my God, you didn’t have to surprise me like that.” She pats her chest to calm down. “Can I help you, sir?” You show her a warm smile while pointing at the clock hanging on the wall. “This is quite literally not the time for that, is it?” Seoyeon’s face instantly relaxes and her body sinks into her chair, releasing the tension she has been holding for hours now. “You want to go home, baby?” “I still need to finish this thing, though,” she says.

Your heart sinks: you forget how much you rely on Seoyeon for a plethora of things, taking her help and presence for granted more often than you’d like to admit. “We can continue tomorrow, love; let’s just go home, please.” Seoyeon stares at you blankly, possibly contemplating if she wants to finish it tomorrow and go home with you tonight. “Yeah, let’s go home,” she finally comes to a decision, much to your delight.

Seoyeon looks around to make sure there’s no custodian or security guard around, and when she sees that the coast is clear, she takes your hand in yours. “I love you, oppa,” she says softly, filling your heart with some much-needed warmth. “I love you more, baby, and I can’t do anything without you,” you reply, making sure she knows that she’s appreciated. Seoyeon giggles. “Would you consider giving me a raise, then?” “Yes, absolutely; I’ll see what I can do, okay, baby?”

As soon as you step out of the elevator, you see Dayeon hanging out with a security guard with her back turned against you, which gives you enough time to let go of Seoyeon’s hand and pretend nothing happened. Dayeon turns around when the guard points inside where you are.

“Oh, hello, boss,” Dayeon ignores Seoyeon and only greets you, “going home?” You put on a smile and simply nod to her question. “See you tomorrow, Miss Kim.” Initially, she doesn’t say anything when you walk past her with Seoyeon, but as you’re inching closer towards your car, Dayeon opens her mouth. “Do you sleep with your secretary, boss? Is she that girlfriend you spoke of?”

Both you and Seoyeon stop in your tracks, and admittedly, you’re very nervous. “What the hell are you talking about, Dayeon-ah,” Seoyeon comes to your aid, “I have a boyfriend, just so you know.” “You don’t actually think that I’m that stupid, do you? It’s not hard to put 2 and 2 together,” she presses on.

After thinking about it for a moment, you decide to interrupt and just reveal the whole thing. “Yes, Miss Kim, I do sleep with my secretary who is also my girlfriend.” You sigh, feeling somewhat relieved. “So, please stop trying to get to me; I don’t want to cheat on my beloved.” “Yeah, okay.” Dayeon bows while her eyes release tears, “I apologize, sir—have a good evening.” You look at Seoyeon, and she looks right back at you with this flat expression that you can’t figure out the meaning of. “You too, Miss Kim. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

-

Seoyeon is oddly quiet tonight, visibly tense and deep in thought—not even a flavorful dinner managed to get her to relax. “Love, I hope you’re not thinking about work right now.” She shakes her head. “I’m just thinking about Dayeon-ie.” You stay silent and see if she wants to continue. “How long do you think she has had a crush on you, oppa?” “I don’t know, honestly,” you sigh, “I think the more important question is why me, because aside from my position, I’m just a regular, boring guy—even you acknowledge that I’m a boring person.”

Seoyeon moves to sit on your lap. “Just so you know, dating a boring guy is fun, as odd as that sounds,” she says. Truthfully, you’re glad to hear that, but you’re curious about the reason. “Just think about it, oppa: because you’d rather stay at home and be boring, I don’t have to worry about you running around the city looking for one-night stands or side chicks.” “I mean, yeah, but I also don’t go out much—isn’t it boring for you to stay at home with me a lot?” Your girlfriend shrugs. “I mean, you’re still willing to go out on dates when we have time.”

Now that Seoyeon has brought up that topic, you suggest getting dinner together tomorrow after work, which makes her light up. “Hmm, yeah, about that,” she fetches her tablet from the table, “the dance instructors are inviting you to attend a monthly evaluation tomorrow at 6 p.m.” “Okay, but can I have you after that?” Seoyeon doesn’t answer right away and scrolls up and down on her tablet. “Yeah, you can,” she says, “what do you have in mind?” “Dinner, love—did I not tell you that already?” Seoyeon laughs. “Sowwy, daddy.” “Daddy? What, you horny?” Seoyeon places her hand on her crotch and then yours. “I need a bit of warmup, but you seem eager.” “I’m always eager for you, baby, but do you want it?” You ask to make sure you have consent. “Only if you promise to make me cum.”

In the few years you’ve been dating her, only twice have you not made her cum, both involving you busting early: the first one was because you were strangled by her ass and couldn’t hold it back, and the second one was because you were not in peak condition. Seoyeon expressed her disappointment on both occasions but didn’t let you touch her to rectify your failure. Ever since then, you make sure to make her cum first before you try to chase your own orgasm, and it’s been working well so far.

You carry Seoyeon like a koala, and she circles different parts of your body with her arms and legs. Once you’re close to bed, you pretend as if you were going to drop her, making Seoyeon scream the loudest you’ve heard from her in recent memory—eh, actually, that scream she let out when you surprised her on her birthday was likely louder.

“That was so not funny, oppa,” she whines, “why would you do your girlfriend like that?” “Sowwy, baby.” You gently set her down on the bed. “How about that, love?” Seoyeon looks away momentarily. “I was about to get mad, but let’s be real, how can I get mad at you, oppa?”

You kiss her fleetingly. “You’re so sweet, aren’t you, baby? You’re always so kind and hard-working.” Seoyeon’s boba eyes widen even more while her cheeks are painted pink. “W-what are you talking about, oppa? Why so sudden?” You take a knee in front of her. “Baby, I’m so thankful for you, both personally and professionally; I seriously wouldn’t last a day without you.” She places her hands on either side of your face. “Thank you, oppa,” she says, “life has been very pleasant with you by my side.”

The two of you came to the bedroom to have sex, but here you are, crying to your heart’s content in each other’s arms because you’ve been overwhelmed by emotions. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” you wipe tears off your cheeks, “oh, I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean to make you cry like this.” Seoyeon shakes her head. “W-with you, I-I cry because of the right reasons, oppa.” You chuckle slightly. “Is this a good segue to sex, though?” Seoyeon pecks you on the forehead. “Us crying right now means good emotions, and good sex needs good emotions,” she says.

After calming down, Seoyeon takes off her T-shirt, revealing a black bra that you love seeing her wear the most. “I consent, oppa.” You join her in undressing and let your clothes scatter all over the place. “I love you, sweetheart,” you say softly, “I’m glad to be with you all the time.”

Seoyeon falls backwards onto the bed, and you take the chance to take her shorts and panties off. “Oppa, before we start,” she calls a timeout by placing a finger on your cheek. “Please don’t get in my ass; I’m not in the mood for it.” “Of course, baby—thanks for letting me know.”

You grind your tip against her entrance, and Seoyeon promptly starts moaning. “Vanilla is great, isn’t it, baby?” “Y-yes,” she says, “I-I can feel how much you love me.” “That’s great to hear,” you whisper, “here I go, baby.” “Yes, make love to—oh!”

With little problem, you ease your cock into her pussy, her warm walls hugging your shaft snug. You hear her soft and angelic moans in your ear, and you’re doing your best to keep this tempo that’s nice and relaxed amidst the temptation to go hard and fast.

“Oppa, I love you—I love you so much.” “Oh, I love you more, darling; more than words can express.” Seoyeon lets out a mix of giggles and moans. “Really?” You peck her on the lips before answering. “We’re having sex right now so that I can show you, instead of telling you.” She places her soft hand on your cheek. “Keep showing me, then, oppa.”

You hug her tightly as your shaft moves in and out of her, exchanging moans with each other freely. Seoyeon suddenly lifts her butt off the bed while yelping. “You alright, cutie?” She nods. “J-just goosebumps,” she says. Now that she’s mentioned it, you notice that you also have goosebumps on your forearms. “We’re equal, baby.”

You’ve lost track of time at this point; the pace makes it feel like it’s been hours, but neither of you is showing signs of impending orgasm just yet—at least that was the case, until Seoyeon announces that she’s getting close. “Y-you need to go faster if you want to make me cum, oppa,” she says. “I don’t want to—it sounds exhausting,” you crack a little joke. She lets out a gasp of disbelief, playing along with your joke. “Su-surely you’re not that mean.”

You straighten your posture and fold her in half. “Oh, I’m so ready for this,” Seoyeon approves of the change of position. Once your knees are set, you start pumping into her fast and hard. “Yes, daddy, yes!” She pulls out the kinky name out of her bag. “Fuck me, daddy!”

Your girlfriend is moaning without any care about anything else, while you’re endlessly fucking her; whatever agreement you had about vanilla and making love has been thrown out the window.

“More, more! Make me cum, daddy!” Seoyeon is great at pushing the right buttons at the right time to egg you on. You fasten your grip on her ankles and move your hips as fast as you can while praying that you won’t bust too fast.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby.” “Y-you only no-noticed that now?” You chuckle a little. “Yeah, kind of,” you say, “are we ready to cum yet?” “S-soon, daddy.” “Hard to get, aren’t you, cutie?” Amidst the endless moaning, Seoyeon manages to let out a laugh. “Y-you love me f-for it, d-don’t you, daddy?” “Damn right.”

After what feels like forever, Seoyeon finally announces that she’s ready to cum any second now. “Just a bit more, daddy, please.” You opt to let her legs relax and come in for a hug, having had enough of being rough. “Come on, my love,” you whisper in her ear, “cum for me, please.”

A part of your mind wonders if the slower pace will postpone her orgasm, but no is the answer you’re getting, as Seoyeon asks you to pull out when her orgasm hits, her legs and thighs shaking as per usual. You lie on your side next to her while your hand gently runs on her head. “You’re always so pretty, baby—even prettier when you cum, might I add,” you praise her. She wants to say something back, but her heavy pants prevent her from doing so, hence the nods. “Take your time, baby; we have all night.”

-

You’re getting some looks from a bunch of people when you’re walking through the building with Seoyeon, and you wonder if you’re simply being paranoid. “Baby, is it just me or are they looking at us weirdly?” “I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.” Seoyeon picks up the pace of her steps while keeping her gaze forwards.

You invite her to your office before releasing her into the wilderness that is secretary work. “I’m sorry, baby; I just wanted to make Dayeon-ie stop flirting with me.” She sighs. “Yeah, it’s fine; I didn’t want to stay silent while she kept pursuing you either.”

The bell to your door rings, and Dayeon appears soon after. “Hello,” she says, “am I interrupting?” You and Seoyeon look at her in confusion. “No, no,” you break the silence, “please come in, Dayeon-ah.” As she gets closer, you see that her eyes are red—she must’ve spent some time crying. “I-I’d like to submit my resignation letter.” Dayeon places a piece of paper on your desk, sobbing as she does. You quickly scan the letter, and under the reason section, she’s written that “she is no longer able to stay professional at work.”

Aside from her shenanigans, Dayeon is great at her work. As a former idol herself, she has a keen eye when it comes to evaluating trainee candidates, hence how she was able to keep her position this long despite her occasional unprofessionalness.

As thoughts run amuck in your head, Dayeon sobs more and more. “S-sign it, please, sir,” she urges you. You pick up a pen from your shirt pocket, but you can’t bring yourself to sign the letter. “Oppa,” Seoyeon steals your attention, “don’t sign it.” Both you and Dayeon look at her confusedly. “Let her stay, oppa; we need her.” “I-I literally tried to steal your boyfriend, Seoyeon-ah—why would you let me stay?”

Seoyeon holds Dayeon’s hands. “I know you did, but at the same time, you didn’t know that we were dating; I don’t want to punish someone for being clueless,” she reasons, and you think that it’s a reasonable point. “She’s right, Dayeon-ah,” you support your girlfriend’s idea, “you’re a valuable personnel in this company.” You put down your pen and the letter. “Now that you know about our relationship, I hope that you’ll stop chasing me and be able to put your expertise to good use.”

Seoyeon pulls her into a hug, which makes Dayeon burst into tears. “T-thank you, Seoyeon-ah—thank you, boss. I-I promise I will work hard.” Your girlfriend looks at you with a smile and teary eyes, and your eyes are threatening to release tears because of this sight.

Dayeon quickly pulls away from the hug and wipes tears off her cheeks. “S-someone give me orders—please tell me what to do.” Seoyeon whispers something to her ear, and considering how her eyes widen seemingly in shock, it must be something crazy. “What did you say to her, sweetie?” Your girlfriend doesn’t answer while Dayeon makes her way around your desk and kneels between your legs.

“Let me suck your cock, sir.”

You look at Seoyeon, who has a naughty smirk on her face. “What the hell did you just tell her?” She shrugs. “She wanted your dick, so that’s what she’s getting.” You want to say something back, but you’re distracted when Dayeon unzips your trousers. “Look at her, oppa, and tell me she’s not excited right now.” Dayeon indeed seems excited and ready. “Fine,” you decide to play along, “we’re not doing this ever again, just so we’re clear.”

You inhale sharply when you feel Dayeon licking the tip of your cock. “I will make sure you remember this, boss—you can tell me later if I’m better than your girlfriend.” “Just get on with it, please,” you say, oddly eager about getting a blowjob from another girl—a home wrecker.

She parts her lips and slowly negotiates your shaft into her mouth, seemingly (and understandably) struggling with your unfamiliar size. In the corner of your vision, you see that Seoyeon is moving to stand behind Dayeon. “Deeper, slut—if you want to please him, you have to show more effort.” She pushes Dayeon’s head forwards, making her gag on your cock. “Sweetie, be gentle with her,” you say. “Nah, she can take it.”

It is when the gags get worse that Seoyeon lets Dayeon remove you from her throat. “N-not too rough—h-have mercy, please,” she begs. “Do you want to please him, or no?” Dayeon nods weakly. “I-I do, b-but please let me do it at my own pace.” “Fine,” Seoyeon steps away from you and Dayeon, “continue, then.”

Dayeon turns her attention back to you. “W-water, please.” You grab a bottle that has some leftover water from yesterday. “Open your lips, cookie.” Once she opens her mouth, you guide the bottle towards her and help her take a sip. She finishes the water in one go, and unfortunately for her, that’s all you have. “Sorry, I haven’t refilled my water today.” She shakes her head. “I-it’s fine, I-I’ll manage.”

She starts stroking your cock, indicating that she’s ready to go again. “S-sorry, oppa, my gag reflex is so bad.” You rub her face gently. “Do you want to stop?” “B-but Seoyeon-ie said—” “Don’t worry about her,” you interrupt, “if you don’t consent, then we must stop.”

After thinking about it, Dayeon decides that she wants to stop right here and asks both your and Seoyeon’s consent to try again some other time. Seoyeon suggests inviting Dayeon to your apartment on Saturday night, which you have no problem with. “We’ll see you again on Saturday, Dayeon-ah.” “Y-yes, sir,” she says, “t-thank you for the opportunity.” You smile at her. “Now, get yourself tidied up and start working, please.”

While Dayeon gets herself sorted, Seoyeon extends the invitation to attend a monthly evaluation to her, mentioning how Dayeon’s experience might help the company make decisions about these trainees. “Yeah, I’ll be there—thanks for inviting me.” During the exchange, you see that Seoyeon is starting to soften up to Dayeon, which provides you with some much-needed relief.

It is when Dayeon exits your office that Seoyeon approaches you again. “I love you,” she says, “everything I do for you is out of love, oppa.” “I know, sweetie; I’m always thankful for you.” You and Seoyeon move towards each other at the same time for a kiss. “I’ll see you later, oppa.” “I’ll see you later too, sweetheart.”

-

The clock shows 4:00, which means that it’s time to go to that meeting that Seoyeon has prepared materials for.

“So, to remind you, we’ll be talking about some debut-related stuff with a bunch of people—the important things for this meeting are in this binder.” “Thank you, sweetheart,” you take the big binder from her hands. “You’re attending too, aren’t you?” Seoyeon laughs. “We both know you can’t go through the day without me.” You nod. “I know, sweetie, and that’s why I asked.”

Seoyeon wraps an arm around yours as you walk towards the meeting room with her. “I’m nervous, baby,” you say. “Honestly, same,” she replies, “believe me when I say that I'm glad I’m not the boss of this company.” “Oh, don’t worry, you’ll be joining me soon, Miss Yoon.” You try making a joke to suppress the nervousness.

You believe that you have valid reasons to be nervous; the future of this company depends on whether the 5-member group that’s going to debut in January next year succeeds. Not only that, but these 7 trainees who have been spending so much time training at your company are very hopeful about making the debut team—it’s going to be so damn painful for everyone when you announce the two trainees who won’t be debuting in January.

When you enter the room, Min Suhye and Min Suji, the dance and singing instructors respectively, are waiting for you. “Hey, guys,” you greet them, “how are you two doing?” Suji’s face lights up. “We’re doing very well; these trainees have been working really hard and really well recently.” Her words blow tenseness away from your mind. “Well, you guys deserve all the credits; you’ve been tireless with them.” Suji looks at her sister momentarily. “Yeah, actually, we’d like to take a bit of PTO next week or the week after.” You figure that they deserve some much-needed rest, so you agree to let them take leave, and in turn, let the trainees get some rest as well.

After a short wait, you’re joined by the choreographer and music production team. “Hi, hi,” the choreographer greets you, “sorry for being late; I had a discussion with Sihyeon-ie.” “Is she okay?” You ask because you care about these trainees and their instructors. “Yeah, yeah—she just had questions about some choreo details.” You’re glad to hear that people are as serious about this as you are; it would be difficult to proceed if someone were to lose motivation during this long process.

To not waste more time, you start today’s meeting. The production team plugs in their laptop to the speaker and projector, taking the first turn to “speak.” “Which one do you guys want to check out first?” You see on the big screen that there are demos titled A through D, each around 3 minutes long. “We’ll start from the top, okay?”

Demo A immediately catches your attention; it sounds fun and exciting with the uplifting beat, and the supposed chorus part has that banger factor (your opinion, not official production term). Demo B and C sound cute, but C in particular sounds quite generic. “Maybe we can include B as a B-side,” you think. Finally, you arrive at D, which sounds like another title track material. “A or D as title,” you write on your little note.

“I’d like to hear what everyone thinks about each demo,” you start the discussion. The instructor sisters love C but are worried about it coming off as boring, so they vote for D instead. Your beloved Seoyeon, on the other hand, thinks that A should be the title track, like you do. You’re glad that she’s of the same opinion, but you make sure that your face doesn’t show any sign of bias in front of these people.

“I think A is great,” says the choreographer, “we should be able to make a catchy choreo that sticks to people’s minds.” Before casting your vote, you ask what the production duo thinks. “When we were making these demos, we thought that maybe we could include C in the EP; I personally think that it’ll be a fun addition to it, you know.”

After a short discussion, it is decided that A and C will be in the debut EP: A is the title track while C is a B-side track; someone suggests putting C at the end of the play. “Yeah, sounds great,” says production, “we’ll be working on the lyrics soon.” You thank everyone for making the time for the meeting and sharing their opinions on the demos, earning smiles from each present. “I hope you guys remember that you guys are important to me and this company,” you say. You want to say that you’ll be giving them bonuses based on the group’s success but it’s probably best to keep it as a surprise.

Seoyeon approaches you after everyone has left. “Did I do well, sweetie?” She nods. “You always do well, but sometimes I wish you’d show more authority.” You scratch your chin as you think about her words. “I mean, I just wanted to listen to everyone’s opinions first.” She nods again. “Thankfully there wasn’t much disagreement today, but should it happen in the future, you’ll need to be able to take point, oppa.”

Someone’s knocking at the door, so Seoyeon makes her way towards it to check. “Oh, it’s you—come in.” Dayeon appears at the door with a plastic bag in her hands. “Erm, I bought some kimbap for you guys—I-I wanted to get donuts but I don’t know if you guys like sweet stuff.” “Thank you, Dayeon-ah; we were about to get food ourselves.” With a sheepish smile, Dayeon hands the bag over to Seoyeon, who doesn’t seem to be in the best mood, before leaving the meeting room.

“You alright, sweetie?” Seoyeon sighs. “Just wondering if giving her a second chance was a good idea.” “Sweetie,” you hold her soft hands in yours, “you know I would never cheat on you, right? I’ll make sure Dayeon doesn’t get too close to me.” She sighs once more. “Just… don’t leave me for her, please.” You assure her that such thing won’t happen; you love Seoyeon so much and don’t want to see her go.

-

“Oh, hi, Jihyun-ah—going somewhere?” You catch Jihyun, one of the two eldest trainees, leaving the training room. “D-director,” she’s visibly surprised to see you, “I-I was going to get some water for us.” Based on her sweaty forehead, you can tell that she’s been practicing hard. “I’ll get it for you; please return to the training room.” Jihyun seems reluctant to accept your offer, but she doesn’t dare argue. “Yes, director—thank you so much.”

You grab a box of bottled water from the storage and carry it towards the training room where the trainees are. “Good thing you’re fit,” Seoyeon quips. You chuckle. “I know, right.” As soon as you enter the training room, you’re met with bows and hellos from the trainees. “Hi, hi, hi,” you put on a kind smile for them, “Jihyun-ie said you guys needed some water, so here it is.”

You hand a bottle of water to Jihyun, who then passes it over to the other trainees until everyone has a bottle in their hands. You invite everyone to sit in a circle on the floor, and Sihyeon, the other eldest trainee, tries to get a chair for you. “That’s not necessary, Sihyeon-ah; I’m just your co-worker, not your dad,” you make a little joke, making her laugh a little. “Come, guys, let’s just sit on the floor.”

“So,” you start, “how’s everyone doing?” You make sure your tone is gentle in front of these exhausted trainees. “We’re fine for the most part, sir,” Jihyun answers on their behalf. “Most part, Jihyun-ah? Is there something wrong?” Jihyun reveals that Sunbin has been feeling some pain in her right calf because she didn’t stretch properly. “Are you okay now, though, Sunbin-ah?” Sunbin says that she’s feeling better after having applied some ointment on her calf, which brings relief to your heart. Sunbin is the youngest despite being of legal age and is also a big softie, so it stings to hear that she was in a bit of trouble.

“Director, director,” Sunwoo steals your attention. “I-if it’s okay with you, can we have some pizza and fried chicken, please?” You burst out laughing. “Of course you can, Sunwoo-yah—look, do your best for tonight’s evaluation, and I’ll buy each of you a box of fried chicken and two large pizzas to share; how about that?” Everyone’s face lights up as the room is filled with excited cheers—look, Soobin is beaming right now!

As trainees, dietary restrictions can be quite rough on them, so the fact that you’re agreeing to their request brings joy to their hearts. “Order for them, please—buy some for us as well,” you whisper to Seoyeon, who immediately pulls out her phone to order food.

You spend some more time talking with the trainees and are soon joined by the Min sisters and Dayeon, who are here for the evaluation, and everyone starts getting on their feet. “Girls, huddle, please,” you join them in the circle, “you are so close to debuting, and I know you guys have what it takes.” “Thank you, sir,” Jihyun says. “Fighting on three—one, two, three, fighting!”

You and Seoyeon take a seat at the big table with the Min sisters and Dayeon. “We’re ready when you are,” you say. “Good luck, everyone!” The song starts playing after everyone’s gotten to their positions—they’re doing a dance cover of tripleS’ Girls Capitalism, followed by a full cover of Kep1er’s Love on Lock right after.

You put on a serious face as the trainees go through the first cover and nail some important details from the original performers—shit, Sunbin seems to be in discomfort. “Pull through, Miss Jeon; c’mon, you can do this shit,” you say in your head, hoping that it’ll reach her. Your attention is stolen by Jihyun, however, as she steps closer towards the table to make a big impression on you and company. “Good job,” you mouth to her, drawing a small, proud smile on her face.

Sunbin immediately falls seated onto the floor after the cover is finished, scrunching her face because of the pain. You step away from the table to check up on her. “Are you okay, Sunbin-ah?” She nods weakly. “J-just my calf, director.” Jihyun passes you the ointment and you open the cap. “Excuse me, Sunbin-ah; I’ll help you apply some of this, okay?” Only when she nods do you start putting ointment on her leg. You then help her sit on a chair and return to yours. “You can sing your lines while sitting, Miss Jeon,” you say, “everyone else, please proceed as planned—eh, actually, drink some water first."

“You’re so kind to them, director,” Suhye makes a comment. “I don’t want to simply be a boss to them, Suhye-yah,” you reason. Suhye doesn’t say anything back, and you take it as a sign that she agrees with your approach.

The girls move to take their positions for the next cover, and Jihyun is the last person to get ready because she was still taking care of Sunbin. She seems to have also said something to her, and you hope that it was words of motivation or comfort.

The second song starts, so you shake your head to get rid of other thoughts in order to focus on the performance. It’s been smooth so far; Sunwoo and Daeun seem to be more immersed in this cover compared to the previous one—they must like this sort of song more. Jihyun, the always passionate one, is doing her best too, along with Hyeonju, Sihyeon, and Soobin.

Unfortunately, however, Sihyeon’s voice cracks a little, but she manages to stay focused and carry on. You and Seoyeon, in a moment of like-mindedness, quickly put up the OK sign to help assure her that she’s okay. Another thing to note is that Sunbin is giving absolutely everything despite being seated, showing everyone present her perseverance that is second-to-none, and at this point, the best choice of action seems to be debuting all 7 of them.

Once the performance finishes, you start a wave of claps, and in response, the trainees bow in respect and gratitude. “Well done, everyone,” you say, “now, I’ll have your instructors say their feedback.” “I’d like to start,” Dayeon says, so you let her do so. To your surprise, she leaves her seat and starts undressing, thus revealing her idol-like practice attire that consists of sports bra and compression shorts. “Wow, she came prepared,” you think. Apparently, you’re staring too much, proven by how Seoyeon pinches your thigh as punishment.

Dayeon gives Sihyeon some feedback and goes as far as showing examples, and the other trainees start replicating her, taking the guidance seriously. “I understand if you’re not too big on showing your curves, but it’s often necessary,” she adds. “Oh, and don’t forget to make eye contact even when you’re in the center.” After Sihyeon, Dayeon turns her attention to Soobin, who apparently was caught lacking.

“Soobin-ah, I want you to look at me and then compare my moves with yours, okay?” She does this piece of choreography like the pro she used to be—muscle memory goes crazy when it comes to dancers and athletes. Dayeon then tells Soobin to do the same and is quick to see the part that was not good in her eyes. “Right there, stop,” she says, “where’s the detail on that move, Miss Park?” Soobin repeats the piece once more, but she still doesn’t manage to satisfy Dayeon. “Oh, c’mon,” she’s getting heated, “stick your butt out some more when you’re doing those steps, Miss Park.” Soobin does the move again as instructed, and admittedly, that last try looks better. “There, that’s better,” she says, “remember the details, okay?”

Behind the standing ladies, Sunbin is looking at the floor, seemingly in low spirits. “Let’s talk to Sunbin-ie,” you say to Seoyeon, who follows closely behind you as you walk towards Sunbin. “Miss Jeon, how’s your leg?” “I-it doesn’t hurt as much anymore, director.” “Then follow us, please.”

Right as she’s stepping out of the training room, Sunbin starts crying. “P-please don’t fire me, director; I-I know I was wrong for not warming up correctly, but—” Her gust of tears interrupts her own words. Seoyeon promptly hugs Sunbin, making her gasp in surprise. “It’s okay, Sunbin-ah; accidents happen all the time,” she says, “please don’t cry, we’re not punishing you or anything.” “B-but—” Seoyeon doesn’t let her make a counterargument, placing a finger on her lips to stop her. “Just worry about your legs first, and then, I want you to remember this instance and warm up properly next time, okay?” Sunbin nods and hugs Seoyeon more tightly. “T-thank you so much, ma’am,” she says tearily.

-

Seoyeon falls onto bed as soon as you enter the bedroom with her after showering. “God, that was such a long day—it's helpful that dinner was very good.” “Thank you for sticking around until the end, love,” you don’t forget to express your gratitude. “That was me both as your secretary and your girlfriend, by the way.” “I know, love, and I’m thankful for you, like I always am.”

Your girlfriend gathers her might and moves to sit. “If you’re that thankful for me, surely you can do me a favor.” “Sure, baby,” you take a knee in front of the bed. “What can I do for you, baby?” “Why don’t you make me cum, hm?” You chuckle. “Yeah, I’d love to—I thought you were tired, though?” Seoyeon shakes her head. “We can pile on some more exhaustion so that we get better sleep.” “Sure, baby.”

You stand back up and stretch a little. “Wouldn’t want to pull a muscle like Sunbin-ie.” Your little joke makes her laugh. “She’s so cute, isn’t she?” “Yeah, that’s something I wouldn’t say—I don’t want to come across as creepy, you know.” Seoyeon pinches your forearm. “You should be more worried about me, if you catch what I’m saying.” “Oh, I know.” You’re getting impatient to start. “Are we ready to start, or no?”

Seoyeon pulls her T-shirt over her head and uses it to cover her body. “Are you okay, love?” “I don’t like this bra,” she says, “I don’t think I look good in it.” A few questions pop up in your head: which bra is this, why does she not like it, and what did she mean “I don’t look good in it,” because Seoyeon looks good in everything and nothing. “Can I look?” She shakes her head. “Turn around, oppa; let me take this off myself.”

You do as she asks and let her do her thing. “Here,” she hands the bra over. You see that it’s a nothing-out-of-ordinary sports bra. “What’s wrong with this, baby?” “It makes my breasts look flat, and I don’t like it—not when I’m trying to have you between my legs.” You scratch your head as you try to come up with something to say. “Baby, look,” you start, still wondering if it’s a good thing to say. “You are attractive, ‘kay? You don’t need to worry about looking flat or whatever, because respectfully, you are very hot.”

Your girlfriend beams and taps your face gently. “Congratulations, you passed the test,” she says. “Test? What do you mean?” “Ah, don’t worry about it, oppa; just know that it was the correct answer.” You’re speechless, unsure of what to make of this situation. “C’mon, oppa, touch me.”

You’re still stumped even after getting rid of your clothes. “Baby—” Your words are cut off when Seoyeon starts stroking you. “C’moooon,” she picks up the pace, “get hard and fuck me already.” It is when she thinks you’re properly hard that she lets go. “There you go—now please fuck me.”

You pretend like you’re about to kiss her, only to turn her around and have her bend over. You place a palm on her pussy to check if she’s really ready. “You can feel how wet I am, can’t you, daddy?” A mix of gasp and moan escapes her lips when you stick two fingers in her pussy. “I-I’m ready for you, daddy,” she states the obvious.

With your cock in hand, you slowly and gently ease it into her, earning a long moan from her until the entirety of your length is inside. “S-say something, daddy; t-tell me I’m good.” The way you’re bending forwards allows you to hold her tits and say words right into her ears without compromising your pace. “You’re always good, baby; I will never get tired of you,” you say, “you’re such a good person on the outside and a sexy lady on the inside—speaking of inside, you’re also so damn tight all the time.” “T-thank you, daddy,” she lets out a moan before continuing, “t-the way you tended to Sunbin-ie was a-attractive, you know.”

You laugh internally; you say what you said because Seoyeon wanted to be praised, but she mentions Sunbin in her reply. “This moment is ours, love; let’s not bring work to bed, hm?” Seoyeon nods slightly. “I-I’m sorry, daddy.”

As a gesture of accepting her apology, you start moving your hips faster to reach that sweet spot of a tempo. Seoyeon then straightens her back so that only her knees are on the bed, and you do the same in cooperation. “Fuck me like this, daddy.” “You love taking me deep, don’t you, baby?” “Oh, oh, yes, I do; I fucking love it when you’re hitting me deep.”

Seoyeon is active today, moving her hips downwards to meet your thrusts in the middle. You reach around and begin stimulating her nub, making her moan louder and faster. “Daddy, daddy,” she chants, “y-you’re going to make me cum.” “Yeah? Is that so?” Your speech is rather breathy at the moment. She turns her head to the side. “Kiss me, daddy.”

Seoyeon, after taking a few dozens of thrusts from you, suddenly slams her hips while screaming from the top of her lungs—poor girl didn’t have the chance to announce her orgasm because of how sudden and hard it hit her. At the same time, her walls are squeezing your shaft really hard.

You notice that she’s getting weak and threatening to tumble forwards, so you fasten your hold of her body to make sure she doesn’t go face first into the bed. “Great job, love—that must’ve felt good, right?” “A-amazing,” she answers weakly. “You’re also amazing, baby.” You send a barrage of kisses to the back of her head (because you don’t have access to her face) to make sure she knows that she’s appreciated.

“D-daddy,” Seoyeon captures your attention again. “C-cum in me, please.” “Gladly, baby—here I go, okay?”

You start off slowly, savoring your girlfriend’s tightness and warmth to the max since you were busy being fast on her earlier. “I love you, baby; I love you so, so much.” “I love you more, daddy—oh, yes, daddy.” You ask if she can help you get closer to orgasm by grinding her hips against yours, and she does just as you ask. “Oh, you’re amazing, baby; you’re always so fucking amazing.”

With a grunt, you release semen into her core, filling her to the brim and earning a very sexy moan from Seoyeon, who immediately falls onto the bed as soon as you let go of her torso. You slowly retreat from her pussy while placing a hand underneath to catch the excess cum. “Oh, you’re holding it in—good work, baby.” “I-I don’t waste your cum ever, do I?” You peck her in the forehead after flipping her over. “That’s true,” you say.

[shyfoxsky]

I really think that the therian community needs more essays on former trends and general forms of conduct, because I've said it before and will continue to say it, but the way the community was structured in the mid to late 2010s when I was first awakened was fun and exciting and helped me really find the good in my identity, but also was extremely toxic, judgy, and detrimental to my overall journey.

In my first few years in the community, I was embraced into a corner of the internet that was all about animals and the ethical treatment of them and appreciating and worshipping nature as we all considered ourselves more a part of it than "others". I was also dragged by my tail into a corner of the internet that forced me to give up every single personal, little detail about my personal identity and how I felt about it and the step-by-step of how I got there just to be allowed to speak.

That community both sang the praises of wolf therians, put them on a pedestal, to the point that it felt like they were above all other 'types, while also simultaneously tearing down anyone who questioned wolves, especially certain coat colors, to the point that you had to defend a master's thesis in front of a panel of graymuzzles for anyone to allow you the label "wolf therian". From day one, you were conditioned to believe there was no fun and intimate community, no pack meets, no content for you, unless you were a gray wolf, but you had to be educated on par with the top experts in the world on both identity and the species to not be considered "another kid that likes wolves". If you were anything else, you were an outcast in a world of outcasts. You were just "trying to be unique". You never got edits, outfits, etc. without asking creator accounts for them yourself. The community's terminology was structured around wolves. Howls, packs, etc. You either had to accept that you were going to be outnumbered in any close-knit small group you joined, if you were even allowed and it wasn't "wolves only", or, you could make a group designed around 'types similar to yours, which would never be found by others like you, and would quickly only become a failed idea.

That community is what led to my complicated and painful feelings towards wolves. For the rest of my life, no matter what happens, I will always have doubt in my identity because of it all. I will either be a wolf who believes I'm one because of the community's influence, or I won't and will believe I'm not because I want to escape the stereotypes that come with being a wolf.

That community also was riddled with rigid, unspoken rules about what was and wasn't an acceptable therian identity. I never heard of systems during that time, never saw anyone identify solely psychologically, and no one identified only because they felt like that creature. Back then, you were a standard therian with a single 'type, maybe a second if you'd been researching and journaling every single day without fail for more than a year with statistics to back it up. You had a reason for your identity, but it couldn't just be that you imprinted on your pets as a child (that's not enough), or that it developed from trauma or autism (therianthropy isn't a mental illness), or that you simply feel that way (you're just a wolfaboo). You had to be a misplaced soul, someone with past lives, on rare occasions, you could be a permanent walk-in spirit (but definitely not in a plural way). Don't even get me started on the idea of polymorphs, conceptkin, etc.

I personally feel like a standard therian, but to this day, I still question the origin of my identity. So much of my identity as a red wolf hinged on it being endangered and from my area, because then I could be a misplaced soul due to there not being enough bodies for red wolves to be born into. When I first awakened, I thought my identity came from a past life, even though I personally don't believe I can ever find out what those were, if I even have any. Later on, when I realized being raised with dogs and always seeing and being compared to canines likely had something to do with it, and I considered it to have come from imprinting, I still felt as if I was required to find some spiritual side to it as well. I still struggle with this, to the point that I barely know what I believe in afterlife-wise anymore, and I certainly don't understand what led to my identity, if something even led to it at all.

Those kinds of things needs to be discussed more, because to an extent, I feel like it's still present, both in the same and different ways. The newly-awakened alterhumans of today, yesterday, and tomorrow, all deserve to have a truly accepting space to figure themselves out without pressure to conform to an unspoken standard of how one should identify. Tumblr is better about it than most sites, but ones like TikTok might set things back, if they haven't already, despite the attempts of well-meaning individuals who are trying to break through the algorithm and educate others. I just think more discussions need to be had and more perspectives and experiences need to be shared for the sake of awareness and making sure damaging practices don't continue forever.

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT CH2 EP16 First Impressions

We’ve reached the end of the chapter! A bittersweet feeling, finally getting closure on this chapter while also ushering in a new hiatus. Still, congrats to dev for making it this far! Hope they enjoy their break, while we enjoy whatever they’ve cooked up for the ending!

Without further ado, let us enjoy peak.

Spoilers for the entirety of CH2 (hell yeah). CW: Execution, suicidal thoughts.

It’s Aceover.

ONE vote for Teruko! Do we think Ace voted for himself? Did the mystery voter from Trial 1 repeat their vote on Teruko? Or did they not, and the vote’s just Ace? {Hindsight: It’s CH1 Mystery Voter probs}

MonoTV: “You got it right!” IT’S ALL OVER.

Okay wait it’s actually kinda weird to see the new David sprites outside of the Trial. Like it’s trippy idk why. That’s crazy.

Eden: “Why her of all people?” Poor Eden, at least give her an answer! Even if it’s just “it was the easiest option” man.

Whit: “I really thought that no one would repeat what happened to Xander and Min.” Is this the very first piece of anti-Whit Time Loop theory evidence? Or is he just lying? I don’t believe the theory, so I’m passing that one to the defenders.

Ace: “I killed her. And if you can’t forgive me for that, then there’s nothing I can say.”

Hey remember when Nico said they didn’t see the point of saying sorry if they wouldn’t be forgiven anyways? Yeah.

The foils are foiling :O

Both Teruko and Eden blaming themselves in their own way (Eden mentioned it in Ep10 “just like Min!” and now Teruko’s bringing “misfortune” into the conversation), man we are in for some sad times with these two. And everyone else ig.

Hu: “How could you say it’s just misfortune?” And Hu is very against this idea, interesting.

“So we can’t blame ourselves for failing to prevent something like that.” Ah, there’s the ticket. She’s trying not to feel guilty about it, which is kinda fair, Arei’s death is 99% Ace’s fault.

Eden: “The Ace I met for the first time wasn’t a murderer.” Oof, Eden hitting us with the full highlight line. She’s so great for this honestly. Everything she says afterwards is also great for her character, I love her (and I don’t need to read her lines with suspicion!!! I’m free!!!)

Veronika. And she’s still smiling. Go worst girl! /affectionate

“The only thing anyone can do in this killing game is to shatter.” We are… getting worryingly close to secret quote wording here.

Rose: “Are you saying Ace was pushed into killing because of things like almost being killed?” (Paraphrased) Oh God she’s gonna feel guilty too because she let Nico get the turpentine! Even if that doesn’t work if Ace had already chosen to kill Eden, still! How much self-blame can we have this trial?

Teruko: “No.” Yeah thank you.

Ace: “Did you all get the Veronika virus or what?” God I’m gonna miss him so much actually.

[To Levi] “Shut up for the rest of your life and kill yourself!” Holy SHIT he’s going out with a bang. {Hindsight: I didn’t realize how accurate this would be}

David: “You still have it in you to throw stones in your glass house.” Did this motherfucker correctly use the idiom Ace fucked up earlier? He’s such a piece of shit /affectionate.

Ace: “I don’t care if it made me a hypocrite!” AGH-! New sprite and the voice acting continues the hot streak of being absolutely fucking stellar! Holy hell!

[To Levi] “I just needed a reason to stay mad at you!” Ouchie!

[The whole Levi v Ace thing] This is just fucking incredible. Levi still doesn’t understand, Ace just wanted to stay mad so he could live with his betrayal, just peak character writing all around. And peak VAing, of course.

Teruko: “I need you to do a favor for me. It might just save your life.” YOOO I CALLED THIS!!! Blackened Blaze of Glory let’s fucking goooo!!!! Thanks to shinycrows for asking me that!!!

“Kill MonoTV for me.” Alright so. Not the best plan ever, but then again, it’s not like any plan against the killing game will work on CH2. Also the way she said that was great.

MonoTV: “Yeah, more murder!” Why’s it so funny for?

Teruko: “Arei died because you’re a coward, Ace!” YO why’s she going so hard right now?! This entire scene is incredible, I don’t even have any words for this much peak. The emotion in her voice, holy fuck- Oh yeah because Arei’s crying reminded her of something! In the playground! So Teruko does have a small connection with Arei so she’d feel real bad (for more reason than just death of someone she knew)! I didn’t put that together till now.

[Ace punches MonoTV] PEAAAK! Oh shit it actually broke! That was so fucking awesome! Let’s fucking go Ace!!!!! Also MonoTV is definitely just coming back, right?

That broken MonoTV sprite though!

Eden: “Finally, it’s over—“ The lack of music is making this really impactful, even though we know it won’t work. Holy shit.

MonoTV: “A fatal error has been detected” We breaking out different fonts?

MonoTV: “Now loading the default XF-Ture personality drivers.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD!!!!

Now we have the question. Was MonoTV created by XF for the game? Or did XF just create the AI, and someone repurposed it for thre killing game?

Also what are these defaults going to be?

…Wait whose voice is this? Someone we know? Please tell me I’m bad at recognizing voices! {I think it’s still MonoTV’s VA, just doing a different act, but I’m not sure}

[MonoTV speech] Didn’t expect MonoTV of all damn characters to have a badass moment, but I guess this is the world we live in now.

“But there is no reason to punish Ace a second time.” UHHH Chat are we cooked?

The death of every participant? This is about rule 14, right? “All murderers must be held accountable”? The “everyone is responsible for Mai’s death and must be punished” theory seems to be gaining ground.

It’s also saying this is why it was created, so XF likely did have a direct hand in the killing game. Min MM not looking so implausible all of the sudden.

“I will pass the punishment…” chat we’re actually immensely cooked what.

“I will now proceed with the execution of Teruko Tawaki.” UHHH LUCK BETTER COME IN CLUTCH!!!

[Machine Gun] BRO?!?!?!

Charles: “That thing will surely kill you!” Even Charles is sounding extremely distressed here, damn! But I guess Teruko is relying on her luck maybe?

Whit: “Charles! Stop talking and cover your eyes!” I mean yeah good advice but you know- More pressing things atm

Teruko: “No :)” Why’s she so silly coded?

Teruko: “Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me.” AAAAAAH!!!! The suicidal tendencies return with a vengeance!!!

[Her speech] Holy fuck holy fuck this is crazy she’s actually doing the unhinged Lucky Student thing of relying on luck she’s going in I’m so terrified for what’s about to happen.

“I’ll show you all what it means to be the Ultimate Lucky Student.” Shit boutta go crazy.

[LEVI DOES THE THING] OF FUCKING COURSE!

Bro I was not ready for this. I wasn’t ready in the slightest. This motherfucker better survive against all odds or it’s all over.

Bro that sprite- He’s so cooked.

MonoTV: “His injuries are not fatal” Wait are we saved? Arturo look I know you’re not a doctor but for the love of God tell me you can do something about this holy shit. I wasn’t ready for this.

VERONIKA. Holy shit she’s actually insane.

Arturo: “He could live…” Please??? For me???

Wait now that I’m thinking about it. He hasn’t said his secret quote. We might be saved.

[Whit sprite] … Huh??? Bro what the fuck is happening this episode.

Ace: “Execute me right now!” Ough this shit insane!!! I can’t- I genuinely can’t react. I’m just overcome with emotion at this point.

“I’ll have a third death in my hands!” … Wait the math. Unless he’s counting himself… does he blame himself for Taylor’s death???

[The entire Arturo - Ace debacle] I…holy shit???? The genuine distress in Arturo’s voice when he says he can’t save Levi??? Ace clinging to the hope that he can??? Bro what the fuck??? This is insane???? I can’t- I can’t compute- This is actually insane. This is so much. Levi better not fucking die after this I swear to god-

Ace: “I don’t want to die…” Holy shit dev did it. I’m feeling just as bad for Ace as I felt for Min. Bra-fucking-vo. Holy fuck. No words.

[Thanatophobia]

(Fear of death right? Fits)

… Okay, so. I know someone brought up this term in relation to Ace. Genius, first.

Second, that might just be one of the greatest executions I’ve even seen, if not the best. I usually don’t care much about how good executions are, but this… this is incredibly good. The music was banging. The execution method was unique. It wasn’t related to his talent, but his character, which makes it better imo.

(Also are the “unexplained illnesses” related to Xander’s family?)

And even through all this… dev showed the corpse. When they didn’t show Min’s. Why would you allow me to cope even further? You drop XF and show a corpse- holy shit. I just can’t even process anything.

And he didn’t say his quote. He never said it I don’t think. Levi better survive.

VERONIKA. Holy shit she’s actually getting more and more unhinged by the second the hell-? Yeah remember when she looked unnerved by Min’s execution?!?! She ain’t looking unnerved no more!

Hu: “The elevator is open!” We’re just- gonna ignore- Alright, I guess it’s fair. Surely Levi survives right?

Rose please tell me you looked away. I know you saw Levi so it’s not looking great either way, but still.

Teruko: “Go on without me.” Is she going to talk to David maybe? About the secret?

“Everyone was gone.” Alright no, she’s just going to mourn or something?

[Teruko reflects on her similarities to Ace and Arei] I really like this moment, it’s nice of her to say what the audience was probably already thinking.

MonoTV: “I must convince everyone that I’m the villain.” And what does this mean MonoTV? Genuinely too burnt out to think about it any harder rn.

MonoTV: “That is the fate that I have, to make others suffer.” HOW ARE WE TYING MONO FUCKING TV TO THE THEME OF FATE?!?!?!WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING “TERUKO-MONOTV PARALLELS” WHAT THE FUCK?! DEV YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! /positive

[Teruko breaks down] Holy hell…

“I had known the answer…” AUGH- The character writing… it’s so good… fucking hell this is incredible…

Where do we even go from here? Teruko’s speed running the themes of trust and fate like they’re not the main themes of the series?!?! I’m going crazy.

… Are we seriously leaving it on a cliffhanger whether Levi is alive or not? Like, I know the “surviving students” thing counted him, so I’m guessing he’s alive, but… hot damn. This is an evil cliffhanger.

(Also I find it funny that David’s silhouette sprite did in fact change to what the dev said was his new default lol)

“Seems there’s something he’s not proud of” The nailbiting right.

-

General Thoughts

…

…

…

…

Bro how the fuck am I expected to even begin to summarize this shit?!?!

Okay, in… ascending order of crazy.

Did David just… not speak almost the entire episode? Did he even have any lines when Teruko was being executed? The fuck is going on with him? He didn’t even reveal Teruko’s secret???

Veronika was unhinged. Loved that for her. Hope she gets worse, it seems like CH3 will be a fun chapter for her (I hope that doesn’t mean she dies).

Whit officially gets his very own unhinged/breakdown sprite! We’ve completed the set! I mean, it’s not as crazy as others, but it matches Rose’s so…

Everyone endures further trauma, fun.

I even feel bad for Arturo! Poor guy did not ask for this shit! There’s fun foils here with Levi trying to protect the group as much as he can and Arturo being forced into the role…

Also. Of all ships. I did not expect Aceturo to get a dub here somehow.

I somehow called more or less predicted what Teruko was gonna do. Fun how that happened. And her little character reflection at the end was awesome, I loved it very much. Jesus fuck.

That’s gotta be the best execution I’ve ever seen, hands down. I don’t care that there wasn’t a single horse there. This is much better.

Also, no secret quote from Ace. So those are 100% not a good metric for defining who is at risk of death. Wonder if that means we’ll get a flashback with him?

XF-Ture Tech?!?!?! MonoTV character building kinda?!?!?!?! I’m going crazy?!?!?!

Levi??? This motherfucker better be alive. There’s no reason he should be dead, so I’m gonna assume he’s alive. But wow… I guess weightedblankettt was sorta right on the “final orbit” interpretation of Levi’s connection to Shoemaker-Levy 9, just… not in a way we expected. (If that meant nothing to you don’t worry about it).

And Ace… Hot damn. Just… an entire character arc at the eleventh minute, huh? How’s that for the people who were saying Ace wouldn’t be remembered, huh? Levi probably owes him his life, in a way. He broke MonoTV. He faced his thanatophobia to try to help Levi survive. Just… so fucking good. I said it in the reaction. I genuinely felt just as much grief for him as I did Min. And coming from me, that’s… a lot. Just incredible writing and voice acting and everything in between…

This cements it, btw. This is my favorite trial from anything DR related ever. It’s genuinely insane. I am going to make a more detailed, more coherent post analyzing the entirety of Part 2 of this chapter, because it deserves it. It deserves more thought than I’m able to give right now on account of feeling too many emotions. Stay tuned for that, I guess.

Props to the dev, the VAs, and anyone who might have laid a hand on this at some point. It’s genuinely incredible, this is an unforgettable experience. Holy shit.

I don’t- I don’t have the emotional energy to keep writing. Just… I think I need to calm down for a few hours. Genuinely loved every second of this. Thanks for reading, and see you when I gather my thoughts enough to trust myself to be coherent.

[nayatarot777]

A Lot of You Have Subtle/Covert Control Issues, And Here’s Why:

One thing that I’ve noticed about a lot of people is that they have control issues that are given a pass and overlooked. Especially in relationships and friendships.

When we think of ‘control issues’ in the context of connections, we think of someone telling another what they can and can’t do, or what they can and can’t wear, or who they can and can’t speak to. Those things definitely fit into that category, but those are OVERT forms of control issues. Read through some of the following points and see if you can relate to any of the more subtle ones:

Refusing to accept people for who they are (positive or negative) and therefore opting to try to change them for better or for worse - instead of choosing to change YOUR behaviour and whether or not YOU continue to deal with them.

Thinking that you have the power or influence to change someone into a ‘better person’ and refusing to give up despite them not being receptive to that, nor even asking for your help in the first place.

Trying to force people to love and care for you. Instead of just choosing to love, care, and focus on yourself. Thinking that if you do ‘this’ and ‘that’ for them, or if you stick around them long enough, then they’ll eventually treat you like you want to be treated.

Refusing to change what YOU accept in terms of disrespect (when you definitely could if you wanted to), and instead trying to force someone to respect you. THEY DON’T WANT TO. Simple.

Trying to “fix” other people constantly (people who most likely never asked for that/don’t want that in the first place) while barely fixing anything about yourself.

All of these scenarios are just examples, but they all include someone trying to change someone else instead of choosing to change themselves, and their OWN behaviour, and their OWN standards.

So, this is my question: If you think that you don’t have the power nor the influence to change yourself into who you want to be, what makes you think that you’re powerful enough to change someone else into who you want them to be?

Please recognise your control issues. People who struggle with these types of things - covertly or overtly - are people who feel out of control in their own lives so they try to control someone else’s life. And that energy repels people. Because hardly anybody ever asks for someone to impose themselves onto them like that. Doesn’t matter if you think that you’re doing it to make someone “better”. If they don’t WANT to be a better person, then leave them to it. You don’t have the right to force someone onto a path that they don’t want to be on. Just like nobody else would have the right to do that to you.

There’s a reason why we have free will. To control ourselves. A lot of you shame manipulative people due to the way that they impose themselves on another person’s free will and mindset. However, I can guarantee you that if you relate to doing any of the things listed above, you attempted manipulating someone’s mind and behaviour - even if it was for something ‘good’ or ‘better’ - whether you realised it or not. Manipulation is something that humans do consciously and subconsciously all of the time. My question is, if you’re willing to try to manipulate someone’s behaviour for better, why not put that energy into yourself? Or at least someone who has directly ASKED for your help with that?

Please, everyone, stay in your lane and control YOURSELVES 💀.

[hoernypie]

⋆｡˚ moonlight magic ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

tags: public, p+v, creamp!e

wc: 1972

Suguru and I had been planning this vacation for months, eager to escape the stressful missions and life of jujutsu sorcerers, allowing ourselves to immerse in the peacefulness of the countryside. The cottage, nestled by the tranquil lake, was a charming retreat that promised peace and relaxation after all our stress. We arrived just as the golden sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the calm waters. After unpacking our bags and preparing a simple dinner, we stepped out onto the porch to breathe in the crisp night air, the gentle hum of cicadas our only company. The full moon, a luminous orb in the velvet sky, reflected on the lake's surface, turning it into a shimmering mirror of silver light. The thought of a night walk to explore the area was too tempting to resist, so we laced up our shoes and set off into the quiet embrace of the surrounding woods.

"I hate when they cry", I huffed as we walked slowly. "Who's cry?" Suguru asked confused, his eyes searching the darkened woods with a hint of concern. I chuckled, squeezing his upper arm. "The cicadas." He listened intently for a moment, before snorting. We continued our stroll, the moonlight guiding our path.

As we walked deeper into the woods, the sound of the cicadas grew faint, replaced by the rhythmic rustling of leaves beneath our feet. The air grew cooler, carrying with it the scent of damp earth and pine. Suguru, kept a watchful eye on our surroundings, while I drowned in the beauty of the moonlit landscape. Our laughter echoed through the trees as we pointed out peculiar shapes in the shadows cast by the silvery beams. Suddenly, the serenity was pierced by an unmistakable splash from the lake. We froze, our hearts pounding in sync with the night's rhythm. Curiosity piqued, we cautiously approached the water's edge, our eyes scanning the now-disturbed surface for any sign of what had caused the disturbance.

"Suguru... Do you think it's a good idea to stay here?" I asked with a worry in my voice, looking at the ripples that distorted the moon's reflection. Suguru looked at me, his gaze flickering with a mix of curiosity and caution. "Let's just check it out," he whispered, taking a step closer to the lake. The water remained still, but the silence felt heavier as if the night itself was holding its breath. "No, no! Please don't check, it's how people die in horror movies!" I whined looking up to see his face.

Ignoring my pleas for caution, Suguru pulled out his phone, switching on the flashlight to scan the lake. The beam of light danced across the water, revealing the silhouettes of trees and rocks on the other side. Then, it caught something moving, something large and unmistakable. "It's just a loon," he said with a chuckle, the tension vanishing from his shoulders. The bird, having realized it was no longer hidden, let out a call before diving back into the water. "See?" He turned to me, flashing a reassuring smile. "It's just nature doing its thing." "Stupid bird", I huffed when we sat on the fallen tree trunk, "I almost saw the pearly gates."

With our hearts still racing from the unexpected encounter with the loon, we shared a nervous laugh. The adrenaline rush brought us closer together, and we found ourselves leaning into each other, our eyes locking in the soft moonlight. The air grew thicker, charged with a new kind of energy. Before I could protest, Suguru leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, his hand gently cradling the back of my neck. The kiss was slow and tender, starkly contrasting to the chaotic world we had left behind. We made out, our breaths mingling in the cool night air, the moon casting a gentle glow on our faces. For a moment, we forgot about the monsters and curses of our daily lives, lost in the tranquility of the countryside and the warmth of each other's embrace. The lake's surface stilled once more, reflecting our silhouettes as we deepened our kiss, the only sound the distant whisper of the breeze playing with the leaves above us.

Our kiss grew more passionate as we let go of our carefulness, the stress of our lives melting away with each tender brush of our lips. Suguru's hand slid down to hold my hand, his thumb tracing circles on my palm as we breathed in unison. The moon, our silent witness, cast a soft, ethereal light over us, painting our skin in a silver glow. Time stood still as we savored this moment of intimacy, the serenity of the lake a contrast to the intense passion we shared. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves while we kept whispering sweet nothings to ourselves, getting lost in the pure feeling.

As our kiss intensified, the desire to be even closer consumed us. Suguru's hands found the hem of my shirt, gently lifting it over my head, revealing the moon's glow on my bare skin. Our lips never parted, as he worked his way down, his kisses leaving a trail of heat along my neck and collarbone. His touch was tender and exploratory as if discovering me for the first time. In return, my fingers traced the firm lines of his back, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath his shirt. With a soft murmur, I helped him remove it, our bodies pressing together in the warm night air. The moon, still high in the sky, bathed us in its soft light as we slowly undressed each other, our clothes discarded like leaves on the forest floor. Our kisses grew deeper, more insistent, as our bodies melded together. Without a word, Suguru swept me up into his arms, the sudden movement sending a shiver down my spine. His eyes, gleaming with playful mischief, met mine as he stepped into the lake, the water cool against my skin. "What are you doing?" I gasped, but the laughter in his voice was contagious, and soon I found myself giggling as he walked further in. "I've always wanted to do this," he murmured, his eyes never leaving mine as the water reached our waists. The moon's reflection shimmered around us, casting a glow on our faces as we kissed once more, the cold water contrasting the heat between us. Our bodies moved in sync as he held me, the gentle current of the lake swaying us back and forth around our bodies. It felt like a moment of pure bliss, making our kisses grow more passionate with each passing second. The world outside the cottage, the missions and curses, all felt a lifetime away as we shared this moment.

Suguru's strong arms tightened around me, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist to maintain balance. His hands explored my bare skin, sending waves of pleasure through me, and I gasped as he found my hardened nipples, teasing them with his thumbs. Suguru's hands continued to explore my body, his palms cupping my breasts with a gentle yet firm touch. He rolled my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, the sensation sending electric jolts of pleasure through my core. I moaned into his mouth, my hips rocking against his growing arousal.

Suguru broke the kiss, his gaze dropping to my chest. He kissed a path down my neck, his hands moving now to fully embrace my breasts. His mouth found my nipple which he sucked gently at first, then with increasing pressure before flicking his tongue against the sensitive peak. I gasped when his tongue sent waves of pleasure through my body. I gripped his hair before he switched to the other one, giving it equal attention as his teeth grazed it. The water around us grew choppy as our movements grew more urgent. Suguru's mouth left my breasts to kiss back my neck, leaving hickeys while his hands guided me to straddle him more firmly. I could feel the tip of his dick pressing against my entrance, and the anticipation was killing me. He bit my neck as he pushed just the tip of his dick inside me, the cold water of the lake rippling around us. My walls clenched around him as he stopped, savoring the feeling.

Biting his bottom lip, Suguru pushed his dick in one swift move, his tip hitting my cervix and sending a wave of pleasure mixed with pain that filled my body. My moan echoed through the quiet night, mingling with the distant sounds of the forest and the occasional splash of water. His movements grew more desperate, the water around us splashing with his rhythm. Each thrust sent a jolt of glee through me, my nails digging into his shoulders as I held on tightly. Our kisses grew more desperate with our lips crashing into each other while we chased the pleasure. Suguru's hands gripped my hips as he buried himself deeper with each powerful stroke. With each passing moment, his strokes grew more powerful and desperate, his grip on my hips tightening, almost bruising my skin. My body was on fire, the pain from Suguru's fingers digging into my soft skin was sending me closer to the edge. I could hear his muffled breaths growing ragged against my neck which was now covered with hickeys and bite marks.

"You're so fucking tight," he grunted against my neck, his hips moving quicker and more forcefully beneath me. "I can feel every inch of you," he groaned, his teeth grazing my earlobe before biting down gently. "You're going to come for me, aren't you?" he whispered, his voice ragged. My breaths grew shallow, my body trembling as I approached climax, the tension coiling tighter with every stroke when he hit my sweet spot. The overwhelming pleasure filled my body, my pussy clenching tightly around his dick as I mewled out his name, looking at him with glossy eyes, before he pushed his dick inside me, making me squirt all over him. The warm liquid spurted between us, mixing with the cool lake water as my pussy clenched tightly around his cock. "Fuck, yes," he murmured, his grip on my hips bruising as he held me in place, his cock pulsing deep inside me. His thrusts grew erratic, his breaths coming in harsh pants as he chased his own release. "You're going to milk me dry," he rasped, his voice thick with need. "Look at me," he demanded, squishing my cheeks and pulling my face closer to his. "Look at me as I fill your pussy." I looked up, my eyes locking with his as his strokes grew more intense, his words of how good it felt only heightened my sensitivity. "You're so fucking beautiful when you come," he moaned before his warm cum filled me, my pussy greedily gripping his cock as he emptied himself inside me.

Suguru didn't stop moving his hips as he came, his cock pushing deeper with each spurt of cum that filled me up. "You're so fucking perfect," he murmured, his eyes hooded with pleasure. "Your pussy is so tight, it's like it's made for me." We stayed like that for a moment, his lips leaving soft kisses on bite marks and hickeys that he left on me. The only sound was the quiet lapping of the lake water against our skin. I held him tightly, our hearts racing, as our shallow breaths filled the silence. The moon's light reflected off the water around us, a silent witness to our passion. "I've wanted to do this for so long," he spoke softly, his voice thick with satisfaction. "And it was worth every second of waiting." I smiled, my cheeks flushed, knowing that this was just the beginning of a week filled with us going wild.

[delusionaldeadgirl]

Between me and you, our little secret

summary: you and spencer work together and have been dating in secret for 2 years. your coworkers have to find out at some point

warnings: smut, people being grossly in love lol

based on my character.ai chats but without those damn censors

Looking away from his files of papers, Spencer asks “Do you have anything new?”. “Nothing yet. You?” (Y/N) replies. “Not really.” He stares at the page almost like if he looks hard enough something will change.

(Y/N) walks over towards Spencer’s desk, planting her feet right next to him. Seeing him looking so disheveled and stressed out, she quietly utters “I love you, Spence”. “I love you too” he responds as she grabs his hand, dropping it suddenly as they hear footsteps come up behind them.

“(L/N), Reid, it’s getting late. We should all head home. We have a big week ahead of us.” JJ says noticing the two are still there while she was on her way out. The three of them walk out together, (Y/N) and Spencer getting into their respective cars as well, heading to the same home.

They both walk in the door together. Spencer speaks up first. “So…” He smirks mischievously. “You know we have the weekend to ourselves”. “What is it, Spence?” (Y/N) asks. “Why don’t i make my beautiful girlfriend dinner?”. “That would be lovely” (Y/N) replies. “Great” he kisses her head “I’ll tell you when everything is ready”. “Ok baby!” (Y/N) says as she takes her shoes off and puts them by the door.

After a bit, he yells out “Dinner’s ready” and she walks towards the table. “Also… I have a surprise for you” Spencer says smiling. “A surprise?” (Y/N) asks. Without another word, Spencer walks away and comes back with a small box, handing it to (Y/N). (Y/N) opens up the box to find a necklace with both of their birthstones dangling from the chain. “It’s beautiful”. “A beautiful necklace for a beautiful girl”. He says as she stares at it in awe. He puts it on her from behind and kisses her neck as he finishes. “Are you ready to eat?” he asks and she nods in response.

After finishing dinner, the couple sits with each other on the couch and Spencer speaks up. “You’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever laid my eyes on.” “You mean it?” she asks blushing slightly. “Yes. i’ve never met anyone as sweet and beautiful as you”. He says as he puts his hand on her thigh. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.” “You’re the lucky one?” she asks before continuing. “You’re the smartest and most thoughtful person i’ve ever met. And you’re quite easy on the eyes” She says chuckling. “I’ve never seen someone so perfect”. He looks down at the ground and then back up at her before saying “You’re the best part of my day. God I want to marry you so bad. Spend the rest of my life with you and no one else”. “Then do it”. She responds. “What?” he asks, slightly caught off guard at her serious tone. “I said then do it.” She says. somehow getting more serious. “I will. Tomorrow?”. Now she’s the one caught off guard by HIS seriousness. “Tomorrow we’re going to pick out a ring and I’m taking you to the courthouse and marrying you.” “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” she asks. “Yes. (Y/N) (L/N)? Will you be my wife?” He asks with nothing but admiration and love in his eyes. “YES A MILLION TIMES” she says jumping up and down in excitement. He picks her up bridal style, kissing her with such passion. She whimpers slightly making him smirk while kissing her. “Why don’t we do some celebrating?” he’s asks, carrying her straight to their bedroom, not waiting for her response.

Laying her down, Spencer kisses her passionately. “You’re so perfect” he says in between kisses, making her blush. “I love the way you blush for me” Spencer announces as his lips go from her lips, to her jaw and all the way down to her neck. “You are everything to me.” he says looking back up at her. “You’re smart, you’re sweet, and you’re the most gorgeous person i’ve ever met….” he continues. “Shut up and kiss me, Spence” she cuts him off. “As you wish” he kisses her with even more passion than before.

Their tongues dance around eachother’s. “You know you drive me crazy…” He smiles softly. “You drive me crazy too” she declares. “Oh do I? What shall we do about that….” “You tell me”. Spencer kisses her neck making her breath hitch. “You like that?” he asks rhetorically. Not even waiting to hear if she responds, he bites down on her neck making her moan. “S-Spence?” “Yes my love?” “I need you”. “You have no idea how bad I need you too. Let me show you” He says grabbing her hand that was on the back of his neck down to the growing bulge in his pants. She gasps a little. “Want me to fix that?” she asks. “More than anything” he responds.

They rip eachother’s clothes off not caring where they end up. Spencer enters her with an almost pornographic moan coming out of her mouth, making him gulp in reaction to such a beautiful sound. He looks down watching the two of them connect together as if her pussy was designed perfectly for him. She runs her hands through his hair tugging on it slighting, making him groan at the feeling of that and her walls tightening around him. Spencer nearly abuses her clit with his thumb as he holds her hips down with his hands, making her see stars. He once again looks down. This time seeing the bulge in her stomach that his dick is making. He starts biting her neck, marking his territory before whispering “You’re doing so well, My good girl” causing her to close her mouth to muffle the loud moans and whimpers begging to escape. “Don’t do that, my love. Open your mouth for me. I want everyone to hear who you belong to. Who’s making you feel this good, (Y/N)?”. “You” she whispers. “No baby…that whispering shit isn’t going to cut it. Who do you belong to?” “YOU SPENCER” she can barely get out as the feeling in her stomach finally snapped and she came undone right then and there. Shortly after, Spencer finishes inside of her. They stay in that same position for a couple seconds before he pulls out. Taking his finger and pushing the mixture of their cum back into her hole as she whines in overstimulation. Licking his fingers clean. After cleaning up, they lay side by side in bed immediately falling asleep. Too tired to do or say anything.

The next morning they wake up entangled in eachother’s arms. The sun shining bright on the two of them. “Good morning, love.” Spencer says as he admires how beautiful is girlfriend looks as the sun rays from their window hit her skin. “Get up and get ready, we’re getting married today.” He says. Him having enough energy in his body for the both of them.

As (Y/N) walks out of the bathroom in her only white dress she owns, Spencer can’t help but tear up looking at his future bride. Although this isn’t the most traditional way to get married, neither of them have the patience to wait any longer.

Arriving at the jewelry store, Spencer opens the car door for (Y/N) and holds her hand as they walk in together. After looking through cases of rings, Spencer hears (Y/N) gasp as she stares at the most beautiful ring she’s ever laid her eyes on. A silver band with a small yet perfect diamond on it. “Is that the one?” He asks. All she can do is nod as it finally hits her that she’s marrying the love of her life within the next couple of hours. Spencer pays for the ring and as they arrive at the car, though it’s not the most romantic setting, he gets down on one knee, sliding the ring onto her finger.

Walking out of the courthouse hand in hand, the couple can’t help the almost painful smiles on their faces. Reliving the words “Congratulations! You are now husband and wife” over and over again. “You looked so beautiful during the whole thing, (N/N). I mean you look so beautiful all the time but specifically in that moment…” his rambles are stopped by the most loving kiss they’ve ever exchanged. “I can’t believe i get to call myself Mrs. Reid” she exclaims with a twinkle in her eye. Spencer has never been so happy than in this moment. “You are the most amazing wife i could ever ask for.” he says on the verge of happy tears. They reach the car as Spencer turns (Y/N) to face him, planting his hands on her hips. “What?” she asks. “Nothing. I just wanted to take a look at my beautiful wife that’s all.” he says. watching a blush creep up onto her cheeks. “Even though it’s not your typical wedding, and you’re not wearing a typical wedding dress, you still look like a goddess to me.” he exclaims. She doesn’t respond, the bashful blush on her face is enough of a response for him to dip her like in those cheesy romance movies and kiss her passionately as she giggles in surprise. “Ya know… I feel like seeing as though we both have rings on our fingers, our friends are going to figure out at some point. Once they do, we should totally have a late celebration surrounded by all the people we love.” she says. “If you want to do that, we’ll do that. I’ll do anything for you” he responds in a cheesy manner. “But i wanna keep this between us for a little bit longer to savor this moment.” she says. “Me too. Let’s head home and plan that celebration, my love.”

They did not get any planning done but they did do some celebrating. The newlyweds can barely get in the door without touching eachother. “I need you” she’s whispers in between kisses. “How bad?” “Really bad. I’ll do anything” she desperately responds. He smiles softly, slightly biting her lower lip. “Anything Mrs. Reid?”. “Anything.” she whines. Spencer gently pushes (Y/N) up against the wall and then brings both of his hands down to her hips. “So all I have to do is ask? You’d do whatever I’d tell you to do?” He says while leaning in closer, biting her right under her jawline. “Yes. I’d do anything for you, my love”. Spencer’s face turns slightly pink at the sound of her desperation. His hands gently lifting her shirt just enough so they can now rest on her waist. “Just do as I say. I want you to give yourself to me.” He says this in a deep quieter tone. “I will.” she whispers. “Good girl, Let’s not waste time Mrs. Reid” he says before grabbing her hand and leading her to their shared bedroom. He lays her down pressing his lips against her, more passionately than before. “Surrender yourself to me (Y/N)” he growls. She takes off her dress, “Is this what you want?” asking with a new found sense of confidence. Spencer’s eyes move down her body and then back up to her face, feeling himself get harder the longer he stares at her. “You’re perfect. That’s exactly what i wanted”.

He bites and sucks her perfect skin, leaving marks from her jaw all the way down her stomach. She makes a mental note to remember to cover those up before work monday. “You’re such a good girl for me” he whispers into her skin. He continues kissing down her skin reaching her thighs spreading her legs apart. “Tonight is all about my beautiful wife.” he says earning a whimper in response. He slid her panties off, admiring what is rightfully his. He starts to lick softly at first, teasing her folds before finally diving in. It didn’t take long for (Y/N) to be a moaning mess underneath him. Spencer worked his tongue inside her feeling her walls tighten. Spencer knew she was close. She instinctively grabs his hair as she came undone on his tongue. Leaving both of them a panting mess.

That monday, they couldn’t hold back their child like giggles when they both woke up for work. Reality struck when they were both standing outside the doors of the elevator to the BAU trying to act as though they have no relation other than coworkers. “I’ll go up first and you come in maybe a minute behind me okay?” Spencer says to his now, wife. Spencer gets there before her and sits down at his desk. (Y/N) walking in like it’s a regular work day, notices Morgan standing alongside Spencer talking about a case. Spencer slightly leans forward before making eye contact with his wife then looking back at Morgan. After their conversation subsides, Spencer walks over to (Y/N)’s desk, whispering to her slightly. “Have you noticed Emily has been eyeing us recently?” he asks her. “Yeah. she definitely clocked my ring as she walked by my desk a couple minutes ago.” (Y/N) responds. “Um..Spence? Don’t look now, but she’s walking over here.” she says behind her teeth. Spencer however, disregards her words and looks right at Emily, giving her a deer caught in headlights look. “No no no..” he whispers trying to race to his desk.

This falls short as the woman steps in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. Spencer blinks at her a few times, trying to think of something to say. “Emily…I-I…is everything okay?” he stutters. “Can I ask you guys a question?”. They both nod their heads in response. “Is there something going on between the two of you?”. There it is. After two years of being so careful, it finally happened. Spencer sighs “Y-Yes Emily, there is.” he says with a hint of defeat in his words. “She is..um..my wife”. Emily nearly chokes, not expecting that statement to come out of his mouth. She looks at (Y/N) for any kind of response, but all she gets from her is a nervous smile and the slight raise of a hand showing her ring. This catches Emily off guard. She looks between the two, back and forth, trying to process this information. “Oh my god you’re married? That means you guys dated and when did you have time for that? And how could we not tell?” She rambles on. “How did you mange getting married in secret? Why didn’t you tell any of us?”. “With this job comes danger and stress. You saw what happened to Hotch and his wife. We didn’t want the same for eachother.” (Y/N) says, finally speaking up. “Did you two plan on ever telling anyone?” Emily ask. “We didn’t think that far ahead” (Y/N) responds still slightly nervous. “You do realize at some point you’re going to have to tell Hotch seeing as though you need to change your name on legal documents and stuff. We do work for the government.”. (Y/N) laughs a little then actually registered what Emily said. “Oh Shit.” was all she could say before looking at her husband. Just then, Hotch calls the three over to the conference room. “We have a case”. Spencer and (Y/N) look at eachother, and then back at Emily, before looking back at eachother again. “I guess it’s now or never, (Y/N)” Spencer says breaking the silence.

With a sigh, (Y/N) walks ahead of the other two. Noticing all of her colleagues are already in the room, She mentally prepares for the bombshell she’s about to place on the whole team. Going up to Hotch she nervously asks “Hey Hotch, could you do me a favor?”. “What’s up, (Maiden L/N)?” he responds in his normal stern yet still welcoming tone. “U-Um..” she starts to stutter. “Is everything okay,” he asks, cocking an eyebrow waiting for her response. She looks at her colleagues who are all now staring at her with worried looks on their faces. “Um…I need..uh..mylastnamechangedonmyfiles.” she says the last part rather fast, almost trying to get it over with as fast as possible. Spencer is behind her, nervously tapping his foot, leaning against the door frame.

He looks at the girl, quite puzzled. “Is something happening to you we should be worried about?” he asked, taking into account what line of work they’re on. “Um. No. I got married”. He looks at her with the most emotion she’s ever seen on his face since she started working there. Her coworkers gasp at her statement. “You got married? Who did you marry?” he says to use, eyes wide. “S-Spencer.” she stutters, looking at her husband and then back at Hotch. He almost drops his case files as he looks between her and Spencer. “You’re married…to Reid?” his eyebrows raise as Spencer walks over to her, putting his hands on her shoulder. “So when did this happen?” He asks in a slow manner. “Saturday.” Spencer finally speaks up. “Saturday?” Rossi says rather loudly. “We’ve been dating for 2 years if that makes it any better.” Spencer says awkwardly. “How did we as profilers not catch this?” Morgan asks the congregation of people. They all nervous laugh and exchange a couple ‘I don’t knows’. Penelope runs over grabbing Spencer and (Y/N) in a group hug and starts happily giggling. “YES MY OTP IS REAL”. Morgan and Rossi look at eachother “What the hell is an otp?” Rossi asks Morgan as Morgan just shrugs.

After everyone settles down, the newlyweds get congratulations and hugs. “See? it wasn’t so bad!” Spencer says as he holds his new wife tightly.

A/N: if you got this far, i hope you liked it. this is my first time writing anything like this since like middle school. i’ve never written smut before but i feel like it adds more flavor to any fic so it was needed lol. feedback is always welcome just don’t be mean i’m fragile lmao. lmk if yall want more.

[aya-j-hashem]

I hope you will take a minute of your time to read our story. I am Aya, my husband is Ahmed, and my children are Kareem and Rital.

Have you ever experienced seeing your dream shattered before your eyes and felt powerless to prevent it? Have you ever thought of living in a tent, forced into a cold and unclean environment without any basic necessities of life? Have you ever felt helpless in meeting the basic needs of your children for food, drink, and clothing?

I am Ahmad Al-Sharif, married to Aya, and we have two beautiful children, Karim, 10, and Rital, 6. I have been working as a specialized nurse in the field of safety, infection control, and epidemics in Gaza for over 15 years. I hold a master's degree in environmental health and infection control, and my wife Aya works as a teacher.

We found ourselves trapped amidst the conflict, turmoil, and war that we have been experiencing in Gaza since October 7th. We were forced to leave our homes and move to the designated displacement areas. We now live in a small, inadequate tent. Despite the lack of security and safety, we still live this difficult life under constant bombardment. At any moment, I could lose my life and that of my family.

Months have passed, and we are still in this situation. During this period, my wife lost her job as a teacher due to school closures, while I continue to perform my duties in hospitals and medical points to serve my fellow citizens, even though I receive a salary of no more than $200 every two months, which is not enough to meet the basic needs of my children. The situation becomes more complicated due to the constant shelling we experience daily and hourly.

Do you understand what it means to find yourselves displaced from your homes simply because you were told that your area is no longer safe, losing your home, memories, loved ones, and job (as happened with my wife)?

Amidst these hardships, I see a glimmer of hope because I have not given up yet. I am still seeking an opportunity for a new beginning, an opportunity to pursue a PhD in my field, an opportunity for my wife to return to her job as a math teacher and continue her higher studies, an opportunity to leave Gaza and create a new, safe life for my children, paving the way for a bright future for my little ones.

Therefore, I ask you to extend your generous hands towards us, as every contribution from you will alleviate our suffering and create a beacon of hope for a new beginning away from wars and conflicts

My campaign has vetted by: @gaza-evacuation-funds

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters

, my number verified on the list is ( #231 )✅️

[honeytonedhottie]

trusting and betting on urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🫧

keep promises that u make to urself : just like how if u know someone who continuously makes promises to do something, yet they never act upon it, you won't trust that person or believe them if they promise u something else. this is also the same with urself. ur new years resolutions? ur goals that you've had for a while but never ever did? all those promises that you've made to yourself and the ones that you haven't followed up on will lessen trust with urself. do what u say you'll do. "stand on business" and if u know that u won't be able to deliver or do what u say you would, dont say it. dont tell urself promises that u won't be able to keep. once u start keeping ur own promises, you'll start to build trust within urself.

hold yourself accountable : just a quick disclaimer but when i say holding urself accountable i do NOT mean punishing urself!! when u find urself falling into old and fruitless patterns you need to hold urself accountable and make sure that u straighten up. the thing about our relationship with self is that a relationship needs BOUNDARIES. you need to set boundaries with urself. what will u or what will u not do? ur non-negotiables?

and when u find urself crossing boundaries within yourself take the BIGGEST step back. the key to forming a healthy relationship with urself is to balance being strict and gentle with urself. strict in the sense that ur the only one that can get u to where u wanna be, and gentle in the sense that ur best won't look the same every single day and u should also listen to urself and what u want, without having to compromise on ur boundaries. kind of finding that middle line is important, bcuz when we're too lenient with ourselves, we get too comfortable and that leads me into my next point...

where growth begins : u cannot expect to grow if ur too comfortable and honestly, this is why most people stay stagnant. its bcuz being comfortable FEELS GOOD. but growth will almost never happen when ur comfortable, on the contrary growth can only happen outside of ur comfort zone. if u want better things for urself, ur simply gonna have to DO BETTER.

the importance of ur self concept : even if ur not familiar with or u dont practice conscious manifesting/law of assumption, i think that working on ur self concept can still be such a fruitful thing to do. i say this because self concept is the way that u view urself in relation to ur desires/goals. its seeing urself as worthy and powerful, and truly grasping ur potential to do great things. a way to start with ur self concept is with affirmations! start telling urself about urself in a positive connotation. you're unstoppable <3

putting it into practice : start small, challenge urself a little bit every day. do one hard thing a day, doing so will build ur confidence bcuz u won't be so daunted by ur big goals when you've already done so many hard things. when u see something challenging instead of thinking "oh i can't do this" you'll have confidence in urself and what u are capable of. oftentimes when we have goals, we kick ourselves out of rooms before we've even tried to get in them bcuz we think "im not good enough" or "im not worthy" which isnt true at ALL. dont shoot urself in the foot. thats self sabotage. and thats not hot.

motivating urself : if u remind urself of your "why" then you'll have reason to stay consistent and truly try. i recommend asking urself the tougher questions, like "what do i want out of my life?" or "am i truly happy and if not what can i do to get there?" once you've decided what u want out of life make a VISION BOARD and actively pursue your dreams. u can't actively pursue something if u dont know what it is. so i advise u to remind urself whenever u feel that u need it of your "why", your driving cause. having that motivation, and actively pursuing and keeping the promises that u make to urself -> will then build ur confidence in yourself to the point where your betting on urself bcuz u know that no matter what cards you are dealt, you'll prosper.

so just to wrap things up, an overview ; start keeping ur promises -> be strict -> get comfy being uncomfy -> say ur self concept affirmations -> apply -> remind

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 7!!!

Beginning|| Previous || Next

It will not surprise you at all, dear Reader, to learn that Aziraphale keeps very little in his kitchen cupboards. There is no stove or oven, and the only thing in the fridge is milk (for his tea no doubt). When you start opening cupboards, you find one pack of custard creams, and a second one of chocolate digestives. Well, it will have to do. You find yourself a small plate and fill it half and half before heading back into the shop just in time to say goodbye to Anathema and Newt.

As they leave, you turn to the supernatural entities in the room.

“So,” You say, “If we’re going to the States, then we have a few problems. First, I don’t have my passport or any ID at all, so airport security is going to be fun. Second, I have no money. Third, I’m gonna need a Walmart or something because I don’t even have a toothbrush, my dudes. Fourth, these,” You indicate the cookies, “are fine for a snack, but overall they’re not gonna cut it.”

“You just leave the airport security to us,” Aziraphale replies. You make a note that he glided right past ‘my dudes,’ they’re getting used to you already. Dammit. “As for the rest of it,” Aziraphale continues, “I suppose a trip to Tesco’s is in order.”

Crowley produces a shiny black credit card from nowhere and hands it to you. “We’ll take the Bentley,” he says. He starts to stand, but you shake your head.

“Nuh-uh, you both stay here,” You say. Crowley raises his eyebrow.

“You realize we can take care of ourselves,” he says, “We’ve been doing it for a few millennia.”

“I’m not talking about that,” You say, “Look, what we’re going into is really dangerous. And I know that your pattern is to just wait to talk about things until you’re in the clear, but that’s not a good idea anymore. I mean, I get that I’m not exactly an expert, but I read just as much as you do and I’ve heard a million stories by this point in my life, and in NONE of them do people ever say ‘I’m so glad I never told them how I feel’ - you know? It’s always ‘I wish I would have’ or ‘I should have told them every day.’ So Muriel and I will go ask Maggie to take us to Tesco, and you two need to talk. Please. While it’s safe, while you have the chance, before things get dangerous and possibly deadly.”

Crowley and Aziraphale are silent. You notice that they aren’t looking at each other. Well, you’ve done your best. Now you need to trust them.

At this point, dear Reader, you are probably thinking to yourself ‘well I would snoop and spy on them while they talk! I want to watch them make out!’ But here is the thing – in this world they are real people, not characters. It’s one thing to say that you would creep on them from the other side of this fiction, but when they’re very real and looking at you in person, things are a little different. For one thing, you realize that real people deserve things like boundaries and privacy, especially for sensitive conversations.

And so, you take Muriel over to Maggie’s shop, where you explain that Mr. Fell has sent the two of you on an errand and you need to stop for dinner somewhere and have no idea where anything is. You flash her the credit card and say ‘It’s all on me,’ and she conveniently agrees with a look on her face that says something like ‘least they could do after all that shit they put us through.’

So the three of you go for dinner at the nearest Weatherspoons, where you and Maggie eat while Muriel watches in morbid fascination. Then you all take the bus to Tesco where you buy yourself a small wardrobe, and manage to coax Muriel into some light blue jeans and an argyle jumper so they look a little less like the Beacon of Gondor. You quickly find out that Muriel has an adorable fascination with fuzzy socks, novelty mugs, and coloured pencils. Of course, you enable their fascinations with a happy heart, and as an afterthought, you grab them a small pot of orange daisies from the flower section. It will give them something alive to tend to while you’re gone. Muriel appreciates the thought. All in all, it’s a long but good time.

You don’t know about the talk, and you’re worried about asking when you get back.

THAT BEING SAID

You and I, dear Reader, not actually being in that world, are allowed certain privileges.

The bookshop is silent for a long time. Both of them are thinking, digesting, processing. Feelings are hard to feel, and harder to put into words. Especially when it has been made clear, twice now in the span of a number of hours, that you absolutely need to put them into words.

It isn’t until after Crowley notices you, Muriel, and Maggie heading down the street that he stands up and begins to pace. A few more minutes pass before he speaks.

“So...uhm...are you going to go first or should I?”

“Are we...are we actually going to do this? Have this talk I mean?” Aziraphale has been shelving books to try and take the edge off. Now he puts down the book in his hands and absent-mindedly fidgets with his ring.

“Well, I mean we don’t have to,” Crowley says, aiming for non-chalance and missing ever-so-slightly, “No one can actually make us.”

“Yes, except it feels very much like everyone is trying to.”

“Trying is the key word there.”

“That’s true enough I suppose.”

The silence returns and stretches. It is anything but comfortable. The air is full of words that they have been told they should say, words that perhaps they want to say, but words that have been dammed up with fear and uncertainty for so long now that they’ve become very hard to un-stick. After a while, Aziraphale clears his throat and speaks.

“I, erm, I suppose you had better go first.”

“Me, right, okay.” Crowley clears his throat now and stops his pacing near the desk. He looks down at the scattered papers and books, the pens and photos and newspaper clippings. The assorted clutter of Aziraphale’s life. Looking away makes it easier to start. He takes a breath. “Um..right...well...we’ve known each other a long time. We’ve been on this planet a long time – you and me, I mean. I’ve always been able to rely on you, and you’ve always relied on me,” another breath, “We’re a team, yeah? A group of the two of us. And...erm...we pretend that we aren’t. Always have. Safer that way I guess.” He looks up at Aziraphale. The angel isn’t looking at him, but he nods anyway to show that he’s listening. Crowley continues. “And I mean...I’ve tried not to think about it much before but...but it would be nice, I mean, UGH” He takes off his sunglasses and rubs a hand over his eyes as though he can massage the words and make them easier to say. “I mean, I would like to spend...mmm….I would like to spend the rest not pretending anymore. Be an us. I mean,” suddenly the dam breaks, and Crowley finds the words come tumbling out, “If Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, we can. We don’t need Heaven or Hell, they’re both toxic. We can be an us, on our side. You and me. What do you say?” He looks at Aziraphale without reservation now. His angel looks back at him, eyes wide. When he does speak, it’s with a smile and a small nod of acknowledgment rather than agreement.

“That was very well done Crowley,” he says. This isn’t an answer.

“Nnyeah, thanks. Your turn though.”

“Right, I suppose it is.” Aziraphale takes a moment to gather himself. After hearing Crowley be so open about this, he feels more resolved himself to do this properly. He faces Crowley and folds his hands to keep himself grounded. “Crowley,” he begins, “I...I wish that this conversation were happening under better circumstances. Although it’s been pointed out that ideal circumstances aren’t a promise that we can wait around for. Well, the thing is that I would like the same thing. Very much in fact. My biggest concern by far is for your safety because, well, frankly I don’t see the point in saving the world again if you’re not around to enjoy it with me. An us, as you said. You and me.” He smiles. Crowley smiles.

“Guess we’d better save the world together then. And try not to die.”

“Yes, quite.”

“Aziraphale?”

“Yes, Crowley?”

“You’re my angel. No one else.”

“And you, my wiley serpent. No one else.”

The shop bell dings.

“We’re baaaaaack!” You sing as you waltz through the door, shopping bags in hand. Muriel follows after you, carefully carrying their daisies. “Did you miss us?”

When you eventually get the courage to ask them about their talk later, you get a “ngk” from Crowley, and a “We’ve said all that needs to be said, for now.” from Aziraphale. And that, you suppose, will have to do.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning|| Previous || Next

[sanddollarpoems]

The truth is, I started in a very different place than I am now. Perhaps I am the evidence of evolution, that a person can go from one side to the other in a matter of years. I have family and friends who still think the same way. They echo the same hurtful words. They babble the same disrespectful slogans.

Last week, while feeling scared, disappointed, and emotionally bruised, I had to explain why people like me felt like I did. I had to be the adult, take the slander, and share about why people like me who didn't agree, people who feared for their rights as a human, were angry and sad and upset.

To be fair, I grew up on the other side. I grew up listening to my dad rage against the "flaming liberals" and the "fema-nat-zees," listening to Rush Limbaugh, and conservative talk radio. And as I grew up, the information I was fed was consistent. I was surrounded by people of like minds, and it was very easy to agree. No one challenged me. No one asked me WHY I thought what I did. No one pointed out my racism, my hurtful words, or my prejudice.

I got married young to a man who enjoyed telling me how to think and what to believe. And perhaps that's when I started feeling the cracks in my belief system. I started having my own thoughts, secretly, of course. I started struggling with the things that didn't add up.

It's so easy to pick someone's motives if you don't know that person. It's so easy to "other" them if they don't fit into your tiny understanding of the world. But God has a sense of humor. He gave me a double dose of empathy and compassion. I started meeting people, and they didn't fit into my categories. I started meeting people who I couldn't make sense of. I started meeting people who I had been taught to hate. But I didn't hate them. They were just people who hoped, and loved, and lived just like me. In fact, I started seeing they were all just like me.

And then, I became the "other." With my divorce, 90% of the people I had called friends, left me. My church, who had been like a family to me, left me. I was the sinner. I was the outcast. And because I was a victim of abuse, I had been talked out of asking for child support, even though he made over three times what I did. Now, I was also the woman standing in line at the grocery store, using my EBT "food stamps." I was a "leech on society," as my dad would say.

Remember how I said God has a great sense of humor? Well, guess who were the ones to come around me and support me and love me and lift me up? That's right. It was the people who I used to "other." It was the single mom's, the LGBTQ, the "flaming liberals," the atheists, the women of color...

For the first time in my life, there was no judgment, just kindness. There were no impossible standards, no mistreatment for being different, no more expectations to conform. There was freedom.

I have since come to a place where all those things my dad used to insult people with are now true of me. And this past week, as my friend was talking about the "woke morons," I gently told her that I'm one of those.

The truth is, we're all just people. We all want safety and well-being for ourselves and our families. A lot of us want that for our communities, and some even want it for the world. Most of the people I've met on both sides are generally good-hearted people. We all have been taught to say hurtful things, to believe hurtful things, and sometimes to even do hurtful things to "others." But I believe that for most people, these are learned behaviors.

My dad used to quote the Bible and say, "believing that there's good in people is a lie. Everyone is evil if they're not a Christian." These days, I believe God made humans in his own image. And having kindness and love are the traits that everyone has inherited from him. These are the things I have seen in others. And so I continue to believe that everyone has the ability for great kindness, and if we all exercised that kindness more readily, this world will not be such a scary place for any of us. Even if we don't all agree on the politics.

[thatfrailsoul]

_

Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you and behind which image it hides... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that whenever you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

_

Hi!♡ Before looking deeper into this question... I would like to do another one to you.♡ Obviously you don't need to stop by here if you don't want to - your message and reading is right here after this question. But if you do answer, it will be incredibly helpful for me to make this blog more comfortable and interesting for you and others.♡ So... which forms of tarot readings and messages here on Tumblr are more interesting for you?♡:

1) A lot of piles/images to choose from so it feels more real that the message is for you, and shorter messages that can be read more fastly and comfortably.

2) Less piles/images to choose from so there isn't anxiety in deciding, but longer and more detailed messages.

3) More piles/images to choose from and more detailed messages so it feels more destined to you and provides more clarity and information.

_

Thank you so much for helping me out!♡

_

_

No matter what you see, what you feel when you are stuck in that dream and vision... There is something important there, a key to your current situation, a solution to the confusion and uncertainty that overwhelms you.

It might confuse you or even scare you, with its mysterious story that each time unfolds in your mind.. But there is nothing to be afraid of, nothing to fear. As it's only a particular way of your subconscious mind to talk to you, to give you the alternative to giving up or running away that you consider now...

Because is not all that there is to this situation, difficulty or problem. You are not meant at all to suffer as you walk on this path trying to achieve your dreams. There is a solution, right here and so close to you. A different way to overcome it shifting the situation from the worst to something much much easier and even enjoyable to go through.

Your mind is asking you to wait a little more here, to give this situation another chance, to look at it from a different perspective exactly as you do with this dream trying to understand more of it. Your mind tries to tell you that exactly like this dream... It will end.

All the confusion, anxiety and worry will end. Allowing you to return to your life, to the safety and the balance that you managed to create. You need only to allow yourself to live it, to see it like this dream, knowing that there is much more that will follow it, no matter how scary, confusing or strange it seems.

_

_

It's difficult to stay present in the life that feels so harsh, so confusing, so different from the way we pictured it when we were younger. It's difficult to push our own selves in keep on going, in facing the situations, in taking our responsibilities or sacrifice ourselves to resolve the ones of others who don't care that much...

But it's so easy to hide in our mind, in different and misterious worlds. In other dimensions where when facing the same problems and fears, or perhaps even worse... We have much more control on it.

And you did it for a really long time. You hid inside your mind, inside does hopes and wanders. The ones that nourished became something more, a whole different story about who you are, adventures that you live through... It became your safe space, far away from the situations that continued to get worse and more painful to deal with. To the point that it's simply scary to face them, difficult to don't look away.

And when you are still forced to do so... Your mind is overwhelmed with fear and stress, finding relief only in those dreams that are so strange but that feel much more appealing than this world. But while this is what your conscious mind does and needs... The subconscious mind is aware of how wrong it is and is against it.

And through those same dreams that were always the only real and clear way it could talk to you - it tries to regain its power back by shifting your visions, the sweet stories and lies they tell you. In hopes that you can, in that confusion and impossibility to understand and connect so much to those dreams like you used to... You could become aware of how unfortunately false they've been. How they never were the truth, never were what you needed to overcome all of this. How they instead were only a distraction, a way to escape this reality and hide.

Your subconscious confuses you, makes it uncomfortable to be in that state in which you escape for so long and for so many times. But it's not because it's mean to you, because it doesn't want you to have a safe place... It's more because it wants, your inner self wants, to feel so safe in this and real world. It wants you to live, to fight back, and in doing so to find your strength and courage. It wants and needs you to learn how to live and go through it. Instead of putting yourself in a golden cage from which you will never be able to grow.

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