#i want ppl who truly understand me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heretoobsessstuff · 4 months ago

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You know the most heartbreaking thing about losing close friends, friends that you thought are gonna be forever, is when you have put so much time and effort snd love and just so much of yourself into that friendship just for it to go down the drain. It’s like life proves to you that see? Love is not enough. You can give it your best, your all, do everything for someone, walk all over yourself just to care for them but you can still lose that friendship. You can give things your all and still fail and that’s something you have to get over.

#personal #but im a little hurt #acc a lot hurt lol #i want ppl who truly understand me #and care abt my feelings #and not guilt trip me #and turn everything back on me #making me feel like im the one being sensitive #that’s why i have a hard time expressing my emotions to people lol #losing friends

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necrotic-nephilim · 3 months ago

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If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???

i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3

Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.

Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.

And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.

#necrotic answerings #batcest #bruce wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #fandom tag #anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them #but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like “everyone else is wrong about them” isn't in a “no one gets them but me” way #(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a “oh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't you” way #one more person call dick grayson “eldest daughter core” and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters “female coded” in any way please #women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his “siblings” if you wish to call them that #and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that #but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills #is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization #the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him

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thelaurenshippen · 3 months ago

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genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble

#lauren feels things #fandom #this is mostly a joke post #obviously create the experience on tumblr that yOU want #you are not obligated to do any fucking thing on this website #but like....there are a few people I've been following on my other blog #(my real and anonymous one where I do most of my reblogging/fandom stuff)#and I've been following them for YEARS #or they're mutuals from the fandoms I've written fic for #and they just post the most out of pocket shit #or they ship ships that totally squick me out #or - the most annoying sin of all to me -#they post sanctimonious explanations about how the creators/actors/whatever #really feel THIS way about this particular thing #and all you other fans are wrong #(and like......no they don't. unless that actor or writer has said that #you have no idea they think that. also it doesn't matter what they think.)#but I'm honestly not kidding when I say this makes my personal fandom experience better #bc a) some of these people are just pals I disagree with!#and b) none of them are - like - toxic or anything #there's a certain kind of fandom discourse I do not tolerate #these people are mostly just kind of silly sometimes about stuff #and ultimately harmless #but it helps me understand a fandom better #and the fact that I've been doing it for like a decade now #means that i truly never get offended or hurt or feel any kind of way #when I see a bonkers take on something #bc I'm just like 'oh sure you're wrong but whatever good for you seems like you're having fun'#and sometimes ppl in fandoms take things SO PERSONALLY!#and it's okay that some people who make art you like or amazing gifsets feel differently about the thing you both love

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cryptiduni · 1 year ago

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“white mourning.”

#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice #judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry #he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as #he put up with du bois�� bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco #you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen #his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but #jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control #i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late #my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon #disco elysium #de fanart #jean vicquemare #disco elysium fanart #jean heron vicquemare #jean posting #illustration #de #artists on tumblr #I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings #my little maiu maiu #cryptiduni #my art

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bunnihearted · 4 months ago

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i cant fully control my emotions during a breakdown and then i come out of it and im like oh fuck........ ._.

#bpd #like i dont mean to hurt anyone else with having my breakdown on my vent blog on tumblr...#like the stuff i say isnt aimed at anyone in particular #and it's abt MY feelings which are so confusing i get a headache #my thoughts is my enemy and im such a broken and confused little girl inside fr T-T #but like yeah im sorry for upsetting ppl???#but really i feel so suffocated bc im constantly terrified of saying smth that will upset this or that person #or reblogging the wrong thing and making someone im attached to hate me #like idk.... genuinely my blog is supposed to be a vessel? a tool? smth for me to be able to put my emotions and thoughts down #and try to make sense of them. even when i cant. it really only concerns me. i dont mean to attack or hurt anyone else :/#but i mean i really shouldnt and i shouldve learned this lesson so long ago....#being confused and broken and mentally ill and not knowing or understanding things and being messy and #saying the wrong things or phrasing it incorrectly or anything like that #or like sometimes i have one thought tied to a certain emotion but it's only there in that moment #like when i feel so lonely i could die.. yes i do have kidnapping fantasies. bc i dont.: whatever i dont owe anyone a psychoanalys of mysel #but that doesnt mean i want want to be kidnapped by a stranger who doesnt care abt me... i know that would be awful and traumatizing and no #what i *want*. bc what i desire is love #but like i feel so much pain and just venting abt it or reblogging a post helps me solidify my overwhelming emotions #idk what to say like..... ☹️☹️☹️☹️#i cant even fucking blog or do tumblr right im worthless. and yeah i know i have a victim complex.. sorry 🥲#hmmm. yeah idk what to say like when i have breakdowns i have to get myself thru them without any support #and i dont mean that to attack anyone else.: we're all alone i know.#but idk how to deal w it so i just type it out. its not to attack anyone else its to try to make sense of my emptions i dont understand ☹️#anyway.. maybe i should just accept that im too fucked up and too contradictory for anyone to actually like me #there will always be smth that will make everyone not like me anymore. thats that.#thank u for the time u do give me tho i always appreciate thay #and im sorry i really truly dont want to hurt anyone else #i just dont have .. idk it doesnt matter im sorry for what its worth and if anyone even reads this #i hope not bc i dont want anyone to perceive me and stuff like i dont wanna exist to anyone #and im not on tumblr or post stuff for attention. im just in pain and have nowehrre to put it. im sorry if im lashinf out and hurting other

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rabbithaver · 21 days ago

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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space

i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !

#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post #like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide #which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone #> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won #i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare #and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that #but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it #so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything #if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again #i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable #i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people #like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation #again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good #person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make #>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be #when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be #im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry

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pickled-flowers · 23 days ago

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Every time I go to a party I'm reminded that it's not that I can't interact with people, it's just not a desire I have :(

#i always feel so guilty when ppl i just met are like wow u seem so cool! because im really not!#im good at masking and making people feel comfortable! its got nothing to do with my personality unfortunately #no version of me is as true as who i am by myself and idk i feel like a fraud for being nice?#ive had many people be disappointed when i just. dont want to hang out #im not a 1 on 1 person i hate being alone with someone #even with people i dearly cherish i just cant find myself comfortable when others are around #and its not about them either i think im just not compatible with social interactions #im not really looking for advice btw like this is just something im coming to terms with #i love people i truly do i just cannot exist properly around them #anyways fat bear supper was really nice :')#the mashed potatoes??? they were so fuckjng good like bro you dont understand #and shoutout to the ppl who made a salmon lasagna that was so good as well #friends played a beautiful beautiful song they made (if they end up putting it on spotify ill share it here its about a cow named Margot)#anyways i guess soft reminder you never know what people are struggling with regardless of how functioning they appear #(mashed potatoes recipe is as follow: unpeeled potatoes #+whole milk+butter+rosemary+thyme thats it thank u)

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lucifer-kane · 2 months ago

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want to do a red valley piece because i have a little itch but also consistently being demotivated because borderline 0 fandom interaction despite loving when i make art for it because it's literally tied for first for my favorite ad

#trying to tell myself over and over interaction doesn't matter but seeing ~popular~ artists get interaction on red val pieces #despite the fandom not actually being super large it's just that a lot of people in the fandom only interact with those large blogs #vs literally anyone else which is demotivating #it's only with red val too i never felt this way with something like tma even if it was a bit similar but not /this/ bad #i truly don't understand???#and don't even get me started on how so much of it is on twitter as well. i don't follow many fandom things on there these days #idk who anyone is talking about when they bring up ppl on fandom twitter. i don't want to know #i especially don't personally care for people saying 'x persons work is the only work/best work/things like that'#sorry that's not how this works #personal

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kavehater · 4 months ago

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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all #just makes me think about myself LOL #I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of #and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact #like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying #and disgusting to me in a practical sense #like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal #and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence #ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t #understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin #and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie #but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one #and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always #because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it #freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to #someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart #because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak #and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak #and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters #into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO #dora daily #and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool #as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is #living the life dating who they want and being with who they want #but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit #and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are #I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace #is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3

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yaoianimeremade · 8 months ago

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Soon im rly gonna do it

#🕸️#sui mention #< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are #like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however #every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day #it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a #wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach #into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i #cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening #almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not #only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is #to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being #or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in #coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe #its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont #hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am #im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf #its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will #i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to #do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks #thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me

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enden-k · 1 year ago

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im sorry to hear people are stomping all over your boundaries, big props to you for sticking up for yourself and putting your foot down. I hope you're doing ok (/gen)

on another, hopefully happier note, i noticed your info post mentions that you self ship! I'd love to hear about your favourite self ships if you're comfortable talking about them some time?

i actually never did or had interest in this but then haitham waltzed in so hes the first and only one (this whole thing flusters me so its smth i indulge in for myself in private by reading or daydreaming or sometimes i babble and ramble about him very in depth)

(most hkvthm things i draw is just me going 'wish that was me' and drawing it LMFAO)

ohh also same w kaveh but in a slightly different way than haitham (theyre both the only ones) i want them to hold hands. i want them to hold my hands. there

#i dont feel attraction to ppl irl mostly bc im just not comfortable around ppl #and the ones i am are my friends and theres obv no romantic attraction #so when i saw haitham and learned more and mroe of him and how he and i share so many traits and ideas and things it was #instant comfort and the feeling of being understood #that its like #if he was real i would seek out his warmth and presence instead of getting away frm it like with my ex partners when it was too much for me #knowing that he would understand me therefore knowing how to handle me without making me uncomfortable or upset #uhh so basically. he made me realize all i want is just someone who perfetly understands me and knows how to treat me #when to come close and when to give me space #perfectly knowing me and reading me #i cant speak and in the rare moments i am able to im often struggling to form my thoughts into sentences that make sense #so he would still understand and put together that garbled mess and know exactly what i mean #not misunderstanding and acusing me of things or tones i never said or used #ppl and things messed me up quite a bit in the past that im having trouble w lots of things unless im alone #only when im alone i feel truly comfortable and safe bc nothing can hurt or upset me but even then you kinda realize in some moments that #you actually want someone with you but it has to be smn you trust and who knows you inside out and all that #i dont have anyone like that and idk if i ever will but rn this character is jsut rotating in my head giving me these things i crave and #thats enough #sorry that was a lot of gay rambling there but yea idk if it sounds stupid or nah but my #mental health issues got way better and balanced ever since haitham so he really #grounds me and gives me strength and comfort to deal with things i would have be unable to do in the past year #bc even if i dont have smn who truly knows and understands me #inside me there is someone #reply #tags tbd #in case i get embarrassed LMFAO

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ozlices · 9 months ago

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im like sincerely so sorry bc my most shameful flaw is that envy is one of my favorite characters in the entirety of fma which is like. listen it's genuinely irredeemable but she knew exactly what she was doing when she made envy the pinnacle of gender envy bc my non-binary ass is NOT immune to feeling the gender envy to the highest degree for that little freak