#and its not about them either i think im just not compatible with social interactions
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Every time I go to a party I'm reminded that it's not that I can't interact with people, it's just not a desire I have :(
#i always feel so guilty when ppl i just met are like wow u seem so cool! because im really not!#im good at masking and making people feel comfortable! its got nothing to do with my personality unfortunately#no version of me is as true as who i am by myself and idk i feel like a fraud for being nice?#ive had many people be disappointed when i just. dont want to hang out#im not a 1 on 1 person i hate being alone with someone#even with people i dearly cherish i just cant find myself comfortable when others are around#and its not about them either i think im just not compatible with social interactions#im not really looking for advice btw like this is just something im coming to terms with#i love people i truly do i just cannot exist properly around them#anyways fat bear supper was really nice :')#the mashed potatoes??? they were so fuckjng good like bro you dont understand#and shoutout to the ppl who made a salmon lasagna that was so good as well#friends played a beautiful beautiful song they made (if they end up putting it on spotify ill share it here its about a cow named Margot)#anyways i guess soft reminder you never know what people are struggling with regardless of how functioning they appear#(mashed potatoes recipe is as follow: unpeeled potatoes#+whole milk+butter+rosemary+thyme thats it thank u)
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
oouuouua please make a follow up on the superhero pap x reader theyre one of my favorites also im excited to see tf fic from yuo
im glad you enjoyed it!!! i got a comment on it recently while i was thinking abt how to continue it and that seemed to click my brain into action LMAO
EHEHEHE hopefully! soon!! ive got a few things in mind but im also waffling over Really Starting because i have so many things ongoing but... auauugh the IDEAS plague me!!!!
also heres a sneak peek into my brain because im in the mood to chatter, but feel free to skip it if you so desire:
for Origin Story im LOOSELY planning any continuation/s to be kinda standalone stories all centered around a superhero trope (like the Origin Story ;]) because i think that could be fun to work with. i enjoyed writing some of the larger Undertale cast, something that i WOULD have liked to do in FF, except Edge and the MC in that are both pretty reclusive socially abfjfbdjdghkf,, oh well.
anyway. i have tons of ideas for the various tropes, so its really a matter of picking a place and Writing. i really want to feature more of Alphys in this because i love her dearly <3
as for TF fic... most of them are reader inserts unsurprisingly lmaooo but ive got a few non-reader inserts floating around there too. im kinda just throwin stuff at the walls of my mind to see what sticks, but heres a few of my draft titles for your perusing pleasure:
into the fire: noble-ish au with a human reader who is supposed to be gifted to one of the members of the household. reader makes a failed escape attempt torn bedsheet style and is saved :] inspired loosely by the visual novels i used to read/play back in high school LMAO. skeletiano, i will forever be sad i could not romance you.
between you, me and soundwave: reader writes rpf abt mechs on earth LMAO. i see people mention humans writing fanfic about Cybertronians in passing but i think itd be funny to put that at the forefront. extremely silly and low stakes fic. probably.
drift compatibility: mecha! pilot! au!! exists purely because i read 1 (one) fic about plugsuits and just went "hmnngh... mecha pilots are fun to imagine interacting with Cybertronians... also there's DRIFT compatibility... i can totally do some fucked up shit with that" and now it's spiralled wildly out of control because at some point i started thinking about Governments and Social Structures and got distracted with worldbuilding lol. i have many many many ideas and i can only hope i can string some of them together so I can EXPLODE it out of my brain either through writing or art. also theres smut that happens wayyyy down the line which ill probably end up writing first and posting separately LMAO
penance is a prison: my take on Titan AU but as a fic because my brain is so so full of thoughts abt this au. i'll probably just end up drawing a lot of these scenes instead but like. its there! partially written!! im emotions abt it!!!
self explanatory long title: human/borrower au constructicons/jazz/prowl poly. i love rare not-so-pairs a lot and im particularly fond of this set. also i just like thinking abt either jazz and prowl getting menaced by a bunch of tiny guys OR the opposite where a group of construction workers have two borrower roommates. this one is more just random idea dumps instead of a fic but still fun to think about LMAO
ALSO! MINI REC. while you wait for me to (eventually maybe) write TF fic, you should check out boostergoldishh's works on ao3 for some tasty tasty TF reader insert fics. im still planning on making a rec list but they updated today and im filled w/ much love for good writing.
and as a bonus if you got this far (thank you!!): the super secret draft chapter title for the next NEXT FF chapter because its pretty silly
if my cowriter sees this hi. ill share the doc soon but its pretty much empty, its just there to remind me whats coming next LMAO 👍
#anon#velwy.txt#inbox#one day ill also outline all my ideas for ut fic..... i have So Many#most of the skeletons in the EOVD/FF universe have stuff planned for them lol#plus some others! like a dust!pap / reader that's been rattling around the back of my head Forever#anyway it's scary writing for new fandoms so we will see if i actually get around to any of these lol#but yeah. feel free to ask abt any of them. or the myriad of ut fic ideas i have#also if anyone reads this and wants to pick em uo as prompts PLEASE do and also tell me so i can read it <3
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
Nah it’s okay, my childhood was goated but I was extremely anti-social and quite naturally, I think it’s my personality or something like that. I am very imaginative and like I had also a strong case of malo-adaptive dreaming where I would basically mumble the words and scenarios in my head even when I’m walking the streets like I was dissociating from reality or sum. People looked at me like I was crazy, one girl asked that if I was possessed or something like it gotten to the point where I would space out like I would be very immersed in my own imagination and yeah, I didn’t fit in and because my interests was different I really didn’t know how to connect with them properly so I was known as the quite freaky kid or something like that so I relate to you in that sense.
I was extremely shy and I couldn’t had the courage to interact with anyone online so that also didn’t help my anti-socialness. I was just very weird, you know? And it didn’t help that those kids used to bully me and the class was toxic asf and covid didn’t help either but that made me more scared of judgments and people anyways. I don’t know if I’m correct, but maybe you’re neurodivergent? I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying but have you gone for a therapist for a proposer diagnosis? Please don’t be offended and I’m sorry if it’s personal and you don’t have to answer. But hey, you and Aizen are twinning, at least. Sorry bout the vent, sorry if it’s too personal.
all my daydreaming was locked firmly in my head, I was so scared of anything getting out and alerting people around me to my inner world. I could completely erase the world around me and go there but I cant anymore tbh. People are generally awful to outsiders regardless. It makes one very aware of how shitty this species is lol. The social anxiety used to be major for me but I've quit giving as many fucks as I get older. Once the people you love abandon you, you sorta quit caring about whether some rando yahoo thinks your nuts. However, even now its very hard for me to admit my interests in the real world. Mostly because I know the conversations I have about it would not please me. My favorite is when dudebros find out im into something "nerdy" like one single anime and immediately assume we are compatible. Lol.
Nah I already know I'm neurodivergent. Been on tumblr way too long to not know it. I dont have an interest in an official diagnosis. My symptoms most align with autism from the myriad of tests I've taken from official sites but theres no point and getting dx with it. No medications and honestly it just builds up the govt' database against you.
I sort of hate labels anyway. I wish humans could see each other without labels.
(And i wasnt offended 😄)
1 note
·
View note
Text
I have nothing to motivate me. I dont sepnd enough time out in nature feeling whimsical. Everything in life feels so dull. I feel so much more motivated to care for myself when im able to take the time to be outside in natural environments. I have no irl friends to hang out with right now. Im trying to make friends with my bfs friends because i know that i can talk to them about shared interests like dnd and warhammer40k and one of his friends hosts a radio show for the college. So i know i dont have to try super hard to find topics to talk about. Thats the hardest part of making new friends for me is an adult... i have to find out what their interest are and if we're even compatible. And i just dont really have the energy for that right now. The only other option i have for making friends is the college club i joined for gender and sexuality. I love having a safe space to do activities with my fellow queers but i dont necessarily want to make friends with them especially since im hyperfixating on dnd and warhammer rn and i dont think many of them are into that sort of thing... i thought about maybe going and joining the DJ friend tonight while he hosts the radio show as he said im welcome to join him anytime.. it just feel weird because i just saw him yesterday for dnd and i dont want to seem too eager to hang out. I just dont know how to properly socialize as an adult and its not like im im college taking classes where i see these people everyday. The most social interaction i get is the dnd sessions we have once a week. I just feel weird wanting to hang out with my bfs friends more than he hangs out with them but its because he's busy with schoolwork and im not. Maybe i feel insecure about not having anything to do during my free time, but right now i really want to spend my free time building a good support system and gaining trust worthy friends. Ive had my trust severely broken by so called "friends" over the past few years. I dont know if im trying to convince myself that im worthy of having friends or if i just rely too heavily on the people around me. But im not even sure if thats a bad thing to want? Like so many people these days think its not okay to rely on the people around you but to me thats what makes a society? Ive felt abandoned by those around me so much that ive begun to abandon myself. I cant get myself to do anything anymore i have to have breakfast brought to me or i wont eat i have to have help getting lunch or dinner or i wont eat that either most days. I cant get myself to clean up after myself anymore because i just dont have the energy for it. Sure I'll have coffee or tea to wake me up but i have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I want things clean and organized but i cant be bothered to do it myself. And the main thing that helps me regulate that and be able to help myself is honestly being able to socialize and go outside and interact with things outside of myself. And im just not getting enough of that. I feel like a goldfish who's been left in a tank with nothing but a skull to hide in. At this point im just waiting for somwthing to trigger me into fight or flight so that i get up and do something about my situation. It hurts.
#long post#sorry for the wall of text#vent post#bit of a rant i guess#the reaper speaks#good thing is making this post is getting me to go inside so that i can actually post it lmfao#ive been sitting in the car for the past ohh i dunno 20 minutes#just alone. no one has checked on me which is kind of concerning. im trying not to worry about that part so much.#but it doesnt help with my abandonment issues#maybe i wont go inside#i mean whats the point anyway#ill just be miserable in there only difference is ill be connected to the wifi and be able to post this#or i can just keep crying in the tags#meh#fine ill go inside jeez
0 notes
Text
Astrological signs for Anakin Skywalker!
I mostly just focused on the signs and planets, not on the houses that they fell into, so there may be some inconsistencies! I might change these later the more I learn, but this is just for fun! Here is my take on Anakin! (with some minor Obi-Wan analysis for comparison!) Read Obi-Wan’s interpretation here. Edit: I changed Anakin’s moon!
Before I get into this, I want to explain the elements and the modes: Air = thoughts/intellect Earth = materialism/pragmatism Water = emotion/spiritualism Fire = Action/Instinct
Cardinal = initiative Fixed = stability Mutable = adaptability
Anakin has mostly Fire and Water, making him active and emotional. He has just enough air to give him an unconventional intellect. He is also Cardinal and Fixed dominant, which gives him initiative and stability (not often a word you would describe Anakin with!). He has a beautifully intense chart, this boy belongs in a Gothic novel. Lord Byron would be proud.
Scorpio Ascendant: The ascendant is our mask or ‘filter’. It is the first layer of our personality, what we show to people before they truly know us. Anakin processes the world around him through the lens of a Scorpio; with high emotional intensity and an almost psychic perception. He is reserved with most people around him, he keeps his guard up like a Scorpio. Most of the time he keeps quiet, letting Obi-Wan do the talking with his more chatty Libra Ascendant. Scorpio Ascendants also look very intense, and may come across as cold to people. Unlike Obi-Wan’s airy Libra, Scorpio has a very heavy presence, because it’s a fixed sign. It has the intensity of a black hole.
He’s not going to budge an inch, until he knows that he’s safe around you.
This is probably why Anakin comes across as a loner most of the time, even though this boy is like ‘im so lonely please love me i’m so lonely’. When people get to know Anakin better, and he lets his guard down, they get a glimpse of his core Aries self (Obi-Wan is very familiar with this side).
Aries Sun: The Sun is the ‘core’ part of the personality. Anakin is an Aries Sun, a fiery cardinal sign, making him highly action-oriented. Anakin seems to have a lot of trouble staying still, always needing to do something with his body or work with his hands. He needs to see the fruits of his labors right now dammit.
Anakin often gets typed as a Scorpio Sun, however I think Scorpio, for all of its emotional volatility, can be frighteningly calculating. Scorpio Sun likes to hide in the shadows, waiting patiently for the perfect opportunity to strike. Anakin broods like a Scorpio, but he has the impatience of an Aries, and carries out most of his actions like an Aries.
His Aries Sun is very active, always on the move, acting on its feelings almost without thought. Anakin seems to be flying by the seat of his pants in most areas of life. He’s also naturally pretty fiery and competitive, having no issue with showing off. Anakin is restless, he has an urge to push boundaries and to experience everything. He’s very open, and his moon blends in easily with this. It’s this fire and action-oriented cardinal energy that has given him drive to become a Jedi, and probably his Aquarius/Scorpio that gives him the follow-through. Cardinal energy wants to lead, and Anakin is a natural-born leader. It comes more naturally to him than to Obi-Wan’s mutable Virgo!
Moon in Sagittarius Leo: The moon is our vulnerabilities, our emotions, and our maternal instinct. It is the side of ourselves that comes out when we are most comfortable. I thought that Anakin was a Sagittarius moon, since he seems given to sensory experiences. The more I saw how he interacted with Ahsoka, however, I’m starting to think he is in fact a Leo Moon. His emotions are wrapped in his pride. I remember the idea that Anakin wants more than what a Jedi’s life offers, even though he shouldn’t. He has strong desires. There is a nobility to Leo, fiercely protective of what it claims as its own. The way he tells Ahsoka he would never let anyone hurt her makes me think of a lion protecting its cub. Anakin is so fiercely protective of her, he sneers at the mere implication that Asajj sees a part of herself in her. With Padme, he wants to express his love in grand, dramatic gestures, probably in ways that he wishes he could show the whole world, but he can’t. He wants to save people who are suffering and right wrongs in a very grandiose manner. It feels like a divine calling, a narrative in which he is the main character, it is his purpose in life. This is how Anakin mothers the people he loves. Extreme, devout protection and gestures of adoration. Just think of a Lion’s majesty and ferocity, and you’ve got Anakin’s moon.
Mercury in Aquarius: Mercury is all about how we understand things, think, and communicate. Anakin’s Aquarius Mercury is having a hard time breathing with all these fire and water signs around it. This is where Anakin’s unconventional thought patterns come from. Anakin will come up with a solution to a problem that is very unexpected. Anakin’s action-driven Sun, his possibility-driven Moon, and his forward-thinking Aquarius Mercury combine to make him a very daring pilot. Honestly it makes him very daring in many areas. His Aquarius Mercury is fascinated by tech and creating new things with it. He also doesn’t care much for social etiquette, and may even be amused by saying something blunt. He has a taste for innovation. Him and Obi-Wan having Mercury signs in air makes me think that’s why their banter is so amusing. They are both quick witted in this regard.
Venus in Scorpio: Venus rules romance, aesthetics, and taste. Oh boy, this is a doozy. Where do I start?
Having a water-based Venus is compatible with Obi-Wan’s water-based Moon. Water signs are compatible with other water-signs. However, there is a problem: Obi-Wan’s moon only comes out when he feels completely comfortable to do so. That happens extremely rarely.
Anakin’s Venus is pulling at Obi-Wan’s Moon, demanding that Obi-Wan share a part of himself that Obi-Wan only shows when he feels absolutely safe to do so. Unfortunately, being a Jedi, it’s never safe to do so. Scorpio probes, which might even feel parasitic to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan will block it out, because it’s sensitive, it hurts. Anakin interprets this as a rejection, and thinks that he did something wrong, when it’s really just not the way Obi-Wan expresses his love (most of the time). That said, the detail-orientation of Obi-Wan’s Venus and his emotionally-psychic moon are extremely precise in detecting Anakin’s mood-changes and feelings.
(Obi-Wan’s Moon/Venus: “I love you but I don’t know how to deal with this.”)
Anakin’s love is raw. It is an all-consuming type of love, it’s like an addiction, a drug. Anakin wants to know the depths of someone’s soul, he wants to know someone’s deepest traumas and demons, to accept them and love them for all that they are, because ultimately that is what he craves for himself.
This kind of love is extremely intimidating to Obi-Wan’s gentle Virgo Venus and sensitive Cancer Moon. I don’t think Padme really knows how to deal with it either. I don’t think he’s shown all of it to her.
Scorpio Venus, along with his Scorpio Ascendant, makes Anakin very possessive and stubborn. This doesn’t mean that Scorpio Venuses are bad, only that they have an urge to take things to an extremely intense depth that most others don’t feel comfortable going to. Not everyone sees that as love. A Scorpio Venus has to learn that not everything has to go that deep, and that boundaries need to be respected.
On the plus side, you can probably tell your deepest secrets and insecurities to Anakin, and he won’t tell a soul. He’ll probably feel closer to you.
Suspecting rejection, Anakin thinks he has to prove how much he loves someone, so that they don’t let him go. I think of the scene where Anakin gives his lightsaber to Padme, as a symbol of his life and love (I also suspect that Padme is probably a Cancer Ascendant, which would explain Anakin being drawn to her because she has a mothering, caring energy that he wants in love). Anakin doesn’t realize that he doesn’t have to go to these extreme lengths to prove that he loves someone, he doesn’t see that they already love him. He feels wrong and broken, and he wants someone who can heal his soul, when he really needs to look inwards and heal himself.
A Scorpio Venus can also take things very personally and become wrathful. Scorpio has a divine wrath, it is complete and utter destruction. Anakin is fire and ice, he burns everything to ash and freezes it over.
(Anakin’s Leo Moon/Scorpio Venus: “Why are you leaving me? What did I do wrong?”)
Losing someone he loves is death itself to him. When he speaks to Master Unduli about not giving up on Ahsoka, the thought of losing her looks like it physically pains him.
In short: Anakin not properly dealing with his Scorpio Venus/Leo Moon is probably the cause of his fall.
Also: Scorpios like darkness and intensity. To them, it is the most real, the most deep. Explains why Anakin likes black, huh?
Mars in Aries Scorpio: Mars rules passion, war, instinct, and sexuality. An Scorpio Mars is a planet in the sign of its old rulership! It is not as potent as Aries, but I changed it because I examined the way Anakin goes to war. He is more likely, at least later on, to use underhanded and sneaking tactics. This is where he becomes very cold, calculating, unyielding. Having a third inner planet (Ascendant sort of counts as a planet) in Scorpio makes his personality slightly unbalanced. There’s a LOT of Scorpio here, a lot of intense emotions that he has difficulty understanding. He can never completely express himself, there is something he’s always holding back, and he doesn’t even know what it is that he’s holding back.
When it comes to sexuality, this is another area where Anakin gets possessive. This is where not only his Mars, but his Scorpio Venus and Leo Moon all come out to play. The eroticism is ridiculous. It’s wild, uninhibited, dark, passionate, emotional, and probably loud. What a drama queen. He’s easily aroused and wants to give everything he can to his partner. Having Scorpio in the planets of love and sexuality makes his expressions of love tinged with darkness. He probably has a dominant edge and wants to explore dark taboos. He wants to utterly consume his partner and have them consume him in return. This is an intense sensory and emotional experience for him, and he wants the best. His ideal is a luxurious bed with candles, a beautiful moonlit view, and nobody else for miles. Leaving his partners exhausted and satisfied is what he strives for, and he’d wish they could do this forever. Aries/Leo/Scorpio make his head, back, and well...his genitals, his erogenous zones, respectively.
#Anakin#anakin skywalker#skywalker#star wars#sw#clone wars#cw#star wars clone wars#swcw#astrology#anakin skywalker headcanon#anakin headcanons#obi and ani#padme mention#anakin skywalker character analysis#star wars astrology#anakin reference
249 notes
·
View notes
Note
multiples of 8, except in the misc section. all even numbers for the misc section
200: My crush’s name is: well well well this question again. you’re not getting anything out of me!!! they fucking use this website!!!
192: I am allergic to: nothing. but i found out like yesterday not everyone gets dermatographia and im kinda annoyed. what do you mean your skin doesnt get red and puffy the moment you touch it......
184: Xbox or ps3: xbox solely because of ah
176: Last YouTube video watched: my watch history says this, which is a scene from a show called billions. this scene in particular is about my favorite character asking about their introduction scene with their former mentor figure that they quickly outranked and asking why they were picked for the internship that lead them down this [entire shitpath].
168: Luck: [long sigh]. [puts on clown makeup].
[obi wan voice] im my experience there’s no such thing as luck.
[rian voice] luck? there’s probability plausibility and actuality. luck is superstition. luck is lazy math. [winston voice] that’s what i always say.
160: Soul mates: again souls arent real..... nor do i believe that people are “meant for each other” on any sort of cosmic/larger level. you are more compatible with people based on your upbringing and your interests and your values and those are adaptable over time though some people are so different that they will never get along and other people match/complement each other incredibly well.
152: Phone or Online: lmaoooo this questionnaire once again showing its age. throwback to when these things weren’t synonymous. online for sure. what am i gonna do with a phone? talk to someone with my fucking voice? i think not.
144: Oranges or Apples: to eat by themselves? probably apples since they are easier and less of a mess. and apples are more consistently better than oranges. oranges, it’s easy to get a batch that just sucks. juiced? probably orange. i love me some fuckin orange juice. but i like apple cider more than orange juice.
136: Hillary or Obama: lmaoooo again.. the age of this. 2008 or 2012. going to guess 2008. obama but not like. enthusiastically. while he was certainly better than [what we got going on now] he still bombed the hell outta some countries......
128: Manicure or Pedicure: ive never had either but i would probably be more comfortable with a manicure. people touching my feet would make me ticklish.
120: Gay Marriage: the only type that should be allowed. sorry straights youre no longer allowed to get married. /s obviously.
112: Facebook: oh BOY are you fucking ready. are you???? im starting the readmore NOW because this is going to be something. i doubt anyone except robots maybe will actually read my deranged pro-privacy anti-facebook/social media/surveillance rant but im angry every time i think about it and if i were a more important person than a rando on the internet with a keyboard im sure facebook would hire someone to kill me one day.
FUCK FACEBOOK. FUCK THAT SHITTY ASS WEBSITE THAT AT EVERY TURN HAS BEEN REVEALED TO HAVE HORRIFYING PRACTICES OF DATA COLLECTION.
but before that, they need to pay some goddamn fucking taxes. they are profiting off the data of billions of people and getting away with paying SO LITTLE back.
you ever hear about deepface? no this is not the beginning of a prequel meme. deepface is facebook’s facial recognition technology and facial recognition is fucking terrifying. that shit is as good as humans at facial recognition at this point. does that not scare you? that a bunch of computers can figure out if this photo contains you or not? it’s one thing if humans recognize each other, but another thing when computers who can process data almost infinitely faster than humans can are able to do it. the scale and speed at which these fucking nightmares operates is hard for us to imagine and so we are all not scared enough of what they can do. this kind of technology is so deeply privacy violating it’s hard for me to stress it enough. every image of you ever uploaded on the internet could possibly be put through facial recognition tech. and with the fact that there are cameras literally everywhere at all times now at this point it’s so fucking possible that if desired, someone could find out where you are at all times. and that gets SO scary when used by governments. are you comfortable with your government knowing where YOU are at all times? yes? what about if tomorrow your government is overthrown by a group of radicals you completely disagree with? you still comfortable with that? facial recognition is kind of a fucking pandoras box that we are opening and now that we have the technology available to us, unless we actively take steps back from it, it WILL eventually/already is being used in malicious, intensely privacy invasive ways.
and everything in that above bullet point goes for ALL DATA COLLECTED ON YOU, EVER. everything you’ve ever said on facebook is probably put through some multi layered neural network fucking robot who is learning how to understand what humans say on your input and also cataloging things about you as a person. it is doing SO MUCH more than reading the exact text of what you are saying and then picking up on keywords. neural networks are an attempt to copy how humans think by making an artificial version of a brain basically. in simple terms it’s a map of points and connections and you feed it data for a while and tell it what the desired outcome should be. it will adjust those connections and the weight of those points based on your data and expected outcome. that change in connections and weights is how it learns. then after a while it has fed on enough data that it will begin to expect what your desired outcome is. now imagine millions and millions of connections and points. it’s fucking huge. you ever hear about how we don’t know how machine learning/deep learning/neural networks works? this is that. it’s because they are so large and they have changed their weights and points so much that we no longer understand how it makes its decisions. ml is on a deeper level starting to understand what you mean when you say words. like a human. and can pick up nuances humans cannot because of its perfect memory. do you understand how scary this is? do you? i really do not know how to express this better how absolutely buckshit wild and terrifying the idea that everything i say online can be scraped and put through a robot and a profile on me and who i am and my ideals can be gathered almost instantly. how hard would it be to write a scraper that goes to my blog and grabs the text of every post in my talk tag? and then there’s free and open source nlp software (or you can pay for it) and you can feed in everything ive said on this blog ever. you can go to my facebook. you can go to my twitter. you can find my profiles on every online platform ive ever used and take everything ive ever said and determine what kind of person i am based on that. and then you can then make further distinctions based on that data. (sidenote: facebook wouldnt have to scrape the data on my profile, it’s all in their databases already. they have everything ive ever posted on public or private, on my old profile i’ve deactivated, every photo ive posted or been tagged in, everything ive ever uploaded to their servers or have been associated with.) and someone or robot can make decisions about me based on that data. it could just be am i likely to buy [this product] or it could be something much more like am i a threat? am i dangerous to you, the person using this data about me? what are my politics? what are my views on [this topic]? are they too extreme? should i be denied [real life thing] based on what this machine has determined about me from my data online? not to sound fucking crazy, but you ever watch that episode of black mirror? nosedive? and its system where you can rate interactions with people? how this one girl was trying to increase her ranking so she would qualify for a cheaper price on housing? how we’re already starting to see things like this in real life with china’s social credit system?
call me a fucking wack job but i think it’s so deeply creepy that we have digitized so many aspects of our lives and leave machines we no longer understand how they make their decisions to analyze every bit of data about ourselves.
by the fucking way facebook tracks data on people WHO DO NOT USE FACEBOOK. FACEBOOK TRACKS DATA ON PEOPLE. WHO. DO. NOT. USE. FACEBOOK. are you scared? i am.
i’ve been thinking about this tweet from @/malwaretech on twitter from a few days ago. text: On a serious note, social media tracking is more extensive than you may think. For example: those Facebook 'like' buttons you see on every website? They call home. If you're logged into your FB account, it records that you visited that web page, even if you don't click 'like'. doesn’t that sound a lil fucked up to anyone else? that facebook knows that i visited that webpage even though i did not tell it? that it will use that data to build a better profile on what my interests are and that it will use that data to better sell ads to me? i’ll be honest i am unsure of if facebook sells that information to other vendors. i think that might be not allowed but i wouldn’t be surprised if that data somehow got into the hands of people who arent facebook.
the fact that for the longest time you could NOT get your data deleted from facebook? that even if you deactivated your account facebook would still keep all of that in their shit ass servers forever? as far as i know, that’s changed now, but i would not at all be surprised if the next day it was revealed that facebook was Actually Keeping all that info anyways
the fact that by default facebook’s privacy settings are set to allow anyone to see most info about you? just this whole opt out culture is so fucking wack. it should be opt in. your privacy settings should default on the MOST PRIVATE and it should be up to you to ACTIVELY SEARCH OUT how to change them to public. it is ON FACEBOOK to actively cultivate privacy but of fucking course they don’t.
lmao cambridge analytica politics russia brexit trump. i don’t have the energy to even open this fucking can of worms but i will say that again, another layer of deeply fucked up that political campaigns can use that data to try to coerce or influence elections.
do you remember when in 2019. yes twenty. fucking. nineteen. 2019. two thousand and nineteen. 2019. i dont know how more to stress how recent but late this is. 2019. facebook admitted that it and instagram were still. STILL. STILL. S T I L L. storing passwords as plaintext? meaning your password that is “password123ilovedogs” is stored AS “password123ilovedogs” in their database. it is STANDARD AND EXPECTED PRACTICE that websites store SECURE hashes of passwords (not like fucking. md5 or something) meaning you do a bunch of fucking “irreversible” math on the password and store that instead of the actual password itself. so the db would be storing “298!79v@w8W#R;3,f9jf” instead of your actual password. anyways face. fucking. book. was storing passwords as plain text. which means if they ever have a data breach on their passwords db then all that data inside will just be your actual goddamn password. your actual goddamn password. what the fuck? what the fuck? and we still use this website? we? me? i use this website daily? i use this website on a daily fucking basis and allow it to continue to collect information on me? im so goddamn angry.
the fact that now in this day and age you are considered weird for not having any social media? super fucked up. the fact that employers will check your social media and if you don’t have one that is somehow a red flag? weird as hell. why must we participate in the world’s largest data collection scandal ever just to be a member of society? i cannot choose to opt out. facebook collects data on me even if i do not have an account. society expects me to have some form of social media and if i do not then that i am the weird one for it. if you choose to live a life of trying not to be tracked it is almost impossible. can you live your life in modern society without an email address? without a smartphone or laptop? there is an expectation that every person is available to communicate with digitally and if you find the practice of data collection abhorrent and don’t want to use websites that do so, then you’re the weird one who has a LOT of society’s services unavailable to you.
im not going to even touch on the psychological effects that facebook and social media have on people other than to ONCE AGAIN, say they are very real and deeply fucked up.
by the way check out haveibeenpwned. enter your email and it’ll check against databases to see if your email has been on recent dumps. i have been. lately there have been a few older accounts of mine that have been breached and it’s terrifying.
fuck jesse eisenberg man he fucked over spiderman crazy
fuck faang. fuck big tech. fuck data collection. btw edward snowden is a hero. fuck all of this.
104: The future: man we’re in for it. i am not optimistic about it at all. too much tech progression / not enough foresight / expansion/globalization of the world / global warming / political and economic issues are all coming to a head to make the world a fucking disaster.
96: Changed a diaper: never done it! i am not around children often.
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: having a vague idea of where things are locally. im very bad with directions.
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: answered already.
84: People call me: yeesa, apparently. i have a fair amount of nicknames but i just call myself teresa.
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: sure haven’t though i deserve one
80: The first person i talked to today was: soph because she wakes up at a normal goddamn time so i’ll sometimes have a text from her from a few hrs ago
76: Right now I am talking to: milo and a discord server im in for a group of friends i made when i was applying to college. though i havent responded in quite a while since i went on my angry facebook rant.
74: I have/will get a job: well i HAD a job for the beginning of the summer when i was a TA but i do not any more as that was first summer semester only. hopefully in the fall i’ll have a job as a TA again but who knows. and then after that when i graduate i hope hope hope hope hope i will have a job lined up.
72: Today: woke up. made a plum smoothie. played minecraft. took a nap. here i am. it’s all very riveting.
70: Next Weekend: it’ll happen for sure. odds are i will be waking up and eating food and coming on the internet and chatting with friends and doing a bit of writing and trying to learn a bit more html.
68: The worst sound in the world: answered already.
66: People that make you happy: will roland lmao.
64: My friends are: well it’s basically the same people i tagged in my last post on people who make me happy.
62: My School: you tryin to doxx me? it’s alright. not the best for my major. and also stupidly trying to reopen for the fall because theyre greedy and idiots. it was like my 5th choice school but it is what it is.....
60: I lose all respect for people who: already answered
58: Your hair color is: black as fuck. im east asian.
56: Favorite web site: controversial but archive of our own dot org i guess. i believe in their mission and like how they have advocated for fans and have created a fan-owned space on the internet. they’re not perfect but i overall support them.
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: answered already
52: My room is: a time capsule of what i liked in late middle school/early high school.
50: Where would you like to be: im fine where i am. maybe visiting friends though. i would like to Hang With Them and Do Fun Activities.
48: Ever been in love: who’s to say....... what is love? (baby don’t hurt me). but for real the concept of love is weird to me, especially romantic love. i don’t know. i’ve certainly obsessed over people. i’ve noticed i kind of “pick people” to have crushes on. i can’t really say why. but then it creates a feedback loop of i pay more attention to them -> i think more about them -> i like them more. so i’ve made conscious decisions that have lead to me obsessing over people.
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl but that’s just because people in fandom spaces tend to be women and most of my friends ive made through fandom.
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: kaity is coming to my town but we cant see each other because of a pandemic so im kinda fucking miffed about that. i didn’t get to see maria before she left my state so i’m also miffed about that.
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: lmaooooo no. i would just like to be satisfied with my life. would like to see friends. do fun things with them.
40: Last person I got mad at: idk im not generally a mad person. mark zuckerberg probably.
38: I wish I was a professional: as in i suddenly have all the skills and talent needed to be a professional? i think a director &|| writer tbh. i would love to have the Creative Vision necessary to come up with dope ideas AND translate what i have in mind into real life. i would love the ability to be able to tell compelling stories that mean a lot to people.
32: Athlete: lmao if it was 2008 or 2012 i would ahve said ryan lochte but nevermind. idk. maybe katie ledecky.
24: Movie: am not much one for movies...... star trek 2009.
16: Book: i don’t know how to read.
8: Yankee candle scent: idk about yankee candle specifically but i love the smell of apple.
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
1-15 for the ask game
Oh ok well you’re just gonna go and ask all of them? Ollright, well, I already answered three and Ill answer the rest here. yw…
1. Boobs or ass?
wrong. dip of the neck, biceps, and most importantly that fold right below the hip bone, above the thigh,, thats where its at.
2. Long hair or short?
yes
4. When kissing tongue or no tongue?
tongue. gently tho. don’t shove it in there. gently
5. How do you approach her?
still working on that.
jk but like prolly just a’hey’ will do
6. What would her nickname be?
Babe.
7. How would you please her?
ooh ;). Listening and responding appropriately…
Like if she mentions she likes a certain chocolate then maybe you surprise her with it some day. idk what else y’all were thinking of thats absolutely all I meant by that statement.
8. OITNB Or orphan black?
Ive only really watched orphan black and I think Tatiana Maslaney did an amazing job (but I haven’t finished watching that either)
11. How do you dress on a normal occasion?
It literally depends. Today Im wearing a soft pink silk button down with black jeans and sneakers but like, it depends,
12. Rough sex or making love?
tbh I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive. All Ill say is that if you love her let her know. Make sure she knows it, at all time, esp. during sex.
13. Personality you look for in a girl?
tbh I just really appreciate someone who really has a distinct personality. They don’t have to be loud or extraverted or anything but I really need to feel like I know them. Also because im opinionated I tend to drift towards people who if not relate at least understand (and hopefully appreciate you know cuz I don’t wanna end up with someone who doesn’t like my personality either). I think its really fucking hot when a girl has opinions and really stands for them, or in some way is really ambitious or driven. Most important tho is compatibility, which usually presents as banter that is both comfortable and fun, so thats what I tend to look for
(wow this last one turned out really long sorry. But you know, pro-tips by Cynthia, enjoy)
15. What was your coming out story?
So this is kinda reductionist imo, because I don’t have /one/ coming out story. My life has been a whole series of coming out, to myself, to my class, to my team, to my family, to other family members, to random strangers, to teachers, mentors, every single person I encounter and need to make a conscious decision of how much ambiguity to leave them with, the entirety of the world I interact with, people I don’t know and will never meet again but saw me on a bus once on the way to pride… I don’t have a coming out story. I mean really I am a fucking coming out story but what does that even mean. That being said im not going to leave you with some deep philosophical question or anything, Ill give you a little humorous tid-bit.
So, here we go, fun-fact. One of my first days at uni I was having a social with the other people in my course to get to know people. The event ended at 6, but a few people left before that. At six, about half the people had left, but they made it clear we could stay and chat for as long as we wanted. So I stayed, and so did a few (albeit less and less as the hours went by) others. At some point it had pretty much whittled down to about 4 of us, and somehow it came up as I was talking about high school or some other mundane thing (as it always does because my gayness is fucking everywhere), that I was, you know,, homosexual. So I said something like, ‘I came out pretty early in life’ or something and this girl in my course, a non-native speaker of English, with very little filter, stops dead in her tracks, and looks at me in a way that makes me stop talking as well. In the most dramatic, comical way Ive ever seen in my life she sticks her hands backwards as if holding back the other person leaned back very casually in their seat, and literally an empty chair, leans forward, reaching halfway across the table towards me, and says “wait!– – are you,,, a GAY??¿¿?¿?¿”. The funniest part is that she did not mean this in a homophobic way, it was honestly very innocent, but also, incidentally, hilarious to me. In the most monotone voice I could muster I said “yes, I am a gay” and tried to continue my story but in all honesty that was one of the funniest consequences of being gay, of my entire life.
1 note
·
View note
Text
instagram
I know allot of this shit is unusual.
He need to call his friends from his DNA4U list and say "i got a laundry problem. You got a working machine? I got the clothes and soap"
Tap the drive thru for a party taco box and some drinks and see a friend or meet a new one and spend the day.
Look i know. But mother fucking listen
Loophole your ass. I didn't create DNA4U so,you can sit around in shit smelling clothes alright???.
That IS OPTION NUMBER ONE.
Option number two is sneak into an apartment complex or hotel and do coin operated laundry there. But i tell you i lived in an apartment complex where the dryers didn't work on purpose so you would pay 4x for one dry. So i washed then hung every thing to dry in the bathroom. So obviously I would recommend not this. But if you can't hang you can't hang. So take a bleach rag ang bleach and clean the machines first or wipes or whatever it is you use. Spic and Span or Mr Clean. Because I'm quite sure ain't no one cleaning it. Unless it's a hotel. They will and their machines may work better... MAY. because they know its important the clothes get dry for packing so it's either an,extremely rude rip off or they gonna take,care proper and they gonna dry. In today's age of online reviews. Most likely they will work properly.,but check online first.
But think. Around 2 machines (maybe more) of questionable quality that you feed quarters into for hours. In some unknown land that ANYONE can walk into. Anyone. Perv flashers. Murderers all rank because you're Asian or Black or even Caucasian. In a not so comfortable area of questionable cleanliness.
OR
meeting a new qualified friend from your DNA4U list who says man i probably ain't got Corona and i feel fine. My laundry machine is 13 years old and i broke this part of it washing pillows so there's a big hole in the bottom of the door but it works great (im talking about myself) And i like Taco Bell and my daughter only eats Del Taco so if you're on that side of town just get Wendy's (still same price as a taco box) if not then just roll up at McDonald's you gotta pass it no matter which way you come from but one. Tell me your pick and ill let you know what to get.
$20 and then a very comfy sofa. And a fine TV. Xbox. Play station. Netflix. Electric plugs for your phone.
Conversations.
Note i didn't say bring your own soap. I ain't gonna be like that because you should know you need to. If you don't next time I'll tell you like you need a mother. If you don't the next time. When you ask again I'm gonna tell you no.
Now on the other hand if you give at least $10 for soap and water use on top of the food then we're good.
I'm talking "lower class" finances. I know you got plenty enough in DNA4U from me. So you should be doubling it. Or you know like $15.
Now I'm telling you. Ill order an Asiago chicken sandwich combo x2 with baked potato and coke no ice and frostie. Mixed vanilla and chocolate.
Or ten piece chicken and a big Mac, 1 basket of fries, 1 large coke no ice and 2 ice creams. With honey mustard.
Or we might get arbys which is 1 large fry. 1 chicken bacon swiss no tomato. 1 three cheese. And 2 large milk shakes.
Cause I'm gonna order for me and my kid. Cause im a single mom to one.
So like a big family is a taco box. Or like 6 large frosties. Or 6 of them candy mixed fake blizzards from McDonald's.
Arbys has 5 for $10 right now. And Weinershniztl has a hot dog box, too. And hey pizza. You can get 2 for $20 easy. The $5.99 at Dominos. You can get 2 with taxes and delivery runs $18.99
Remember your laundry personnel needs to get something for themselves in the drive thru. They need to eat to do their own dam laundry
Going to someone's house to do your clothes means it's your responsibility. Put your game on pause and get it done.
The people living there should check you know how to run it and show you where the soap goes. Always show where the soap goes.
I don't use nor like dryer sheets they cause a build up that can cause a fire. So i use liquid fabric softener. But i know if i rinse the lint screen with water until it pours through and doesn't run on the surface then it's fine. So I don't care they use dryer sheets. I'm not gonna throw down about it.
But if you can't handle it. Explain "i use liquid fabric softener and if you don't mind to use mine because I'm totally freaking about dryer sheets" then it's for your quality and sound of mind so its a free bump for you and them. Don't expect them to pay you back for that. That was for you. Not them. Don't expect them not to use s fabric softener because you're tripping.
Don't expect them to clean your machines. That's your home. Your machines. Your responsibility. Now if they make a mess then they need to clean it.
Say they accidentally pour soap all over the floor. Have them use something dirty that will go into the wash to clean it. Eye ball measure it to see how much it is.
If its their last load and don't have anything dirty then use something dirty of yours.
You will need a dirty wet towel to clean it proper
Do you see what I'm saying? Use the soap to clean the laundry. Don't waste it.
Don't use a broom and dustpan and sweep it into the trash.
Put it on the clothes needing to be cleaned. Its old school it works just fine.
So DNA4U Friends list. Teamwork. Find and use love.
It could be a good playdate for kids. Or not. Check theirs too.
If your kids aren't compatible then you can still take them. Just keep your kid with you. Your child will,lesrn about you and your social interactions. Your child or,children will be your managers and so when the dsy is over they can,score you. Tell,you how well you did in,their eyes.
Now aliens do not have DNA4U access. You have no options. You must leave the Earth.
That is all i am allowed to say.
0 notes