#bc a) some of these people are just pals I disagree with!

[thelaurenshippen]

genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble

[lovebvni]

my opinion on shifttok

ok, we all know that tiktok in general is a very toxic, harmful place for people that are growing up.

my opinion on shifttok isn’t going to be very… new? but it’s going to have some of the good parts, yk?

im not making this blog long bc i dont care a lot abt tiktok 💀💀

anyways, i hate shifttok. the negativity there, the lies, the manipulation is sooo SOOO harmful, and im tired of it. the fact there r so many people, witches included, that manipulate their viewers “if u don’t watch to the end/like/follow/ do x y z, then u will never shift!!” has me fed up.

let me tell everyone this, if u don’t interact with a post bc u don’t care, you aren’t goin to be held accountable by the universe, because that person just wants fame. hell, half the videos i see on there, even if the person doesn’t look interesting to me, i am SCROLLING faster than a foxy can run, okay?

there is nothing wrong with not caring, as long as you aren’t putting anyone in harms way, yk? and by not liking or following, you are not killing anyone!! if anything, they r trying to guilt trip u for their own gain. if there was genuinely something going on that is serious, i doubt it would be on tiktok.

anyways, back to shifttok…

i think shifttok is a good *introduction to shifting* place. just to know what it is, what it’s like and to learn the basics. it’s like having a pen pal is something fun, u can learn about them, but once u find out they have a different view than u, i highly doubt u would take their advice on something u disagree ruth, yk?

so, all and all, shifttok as a hole is a toxic place — but if it wasn’t for tiktok, witchtok and shifttok, then would u have been introduced to shifting at 15? 16? or u could have possibly never been able to find it.

of course, everything is going to come to you if u need it, but sometimes bc something doesn’t blow up for at least a short period of time, you would have been introduced to it LATER!

what im getting at is, introduction ≠ learning from the place. i was introduced to witchcraft in church, under the blind-eyes of christian’s, but once i did my own research and talked to people with their own experiences, that’s when i found it how helpful it can be.

that’s all. shifttok is still bad, but there’s always *something* even the tiniest bit of hope in the bad.

[sardonic-sprite]

Update

Sooo hopefully y'all have seen ch 3 of 20th Annual yada yada Egg Hunt, which begged people to come stop by here to see what is up. Basically, i just decided im gonna try something new, which I think some other writer pals do? Anyway, my plan is to basically write a month in advance. This would mean that whatever I write in April gets saved and posted gradually throughout May, May writing gets spread through June, etc. Im thinking this will help not make you guys wait as long for new content, not make me wait as long for the sweet, sweet dopamine boosts of comments and kudos, and also let me feel freer to bounce between many ideas over the course of the month as my inspiration/attention waxes and wanes.

That being said, it means essentially no new stuff posted during April so I can stock up for May. The one exception for this is naturally my easter fic bc TIMING.

Anyhow, that brings me to tumblrs favorite craze, POLL. Since I've made it a THING to do holidays, please inform me which Mother's Day concept you'd most like to see:

I don't usually get tons of poll responses which may simoly be lack of tumblr/ao3 overlap, so if yiu can't vote as a guest, drop a comment on Second Sunday of May please!

[violetlearnschinese]

today is 6/30/2024 i just wanna write up a log of the things that i've tried so far i guess

i feel like my chinese learning journey is kinda interesting bc . i'm more addicted to trying to innovate/revolutionize/optimize how to learn chinese more than actually learning chinese . and sure some of that could be attributed to instant gratification or wtvr, but also i am also rly addicted to trying to solve physics-esque/mathy problems and that's just what my brain is inclined towards doing, like if it recognizes smth as mathy and nonoptimal then it'll compulsively search for a solution lol . usually this activity doesnt actually turn out to be super productive (and a lot of the time it can seem like im just Wildly Overcomplicating things, and there's definitely an argument for that, yes) but i believe it's at least Somewhattt useful + at least i enjoy the rush (sometimes) + maybe one day ill finally get some Good idea and then ill make millions !!! or maybe that is just what i tell myself to cope . Lmao . anyway.

chinese course at brown

hellochinese

made the whole diagram thing (i was so anal abt this (and esp its application to music) and eventually changed opinion to yeah sure it was correct but not a good way to approach learning bc kids arent just magical sponges but instead the reason that they learn quickly is bc 24/7 private tutor (their mother) + fast iteration)

anki spoonfed chinese too hard

may 23 night - may 24 day

call w regan, she inspired me to just go thru my chinese textbook bc she made me think damn maybe i should just try being normal for once

went thru half of chinese textbook

felt like i wasnt rly learning well past lesson 5 (and lessons 1-5 were mostly review anyway)

may 24-25 ish

found lazychinese.com comprehensible input

found other CI people existed

searched through a Lot, couldnt find much at my level, either way too easy for total beginner or too hard nothing to grasp onto or just no variety of sentence structures

may 25 night

salena sent me the gay guy i could sorta understand him, like i could latch on to smth

coded the thing

went over the video w transcript for a day or two

may 26 day

saw the baby in pool

may 26 night

watched n followed funny easy chinese ig/tiktok accts

may 26/27

tried peppa pig / cartoons / stories on yt / etc, still too hard

may27

up until now, really mostly input little output

peppa pig longest sentence

turned on chinese keyboard

chatgpt convo

texting w friends

wow im not bad

hearing is impt, then pure imitating, then say it while pinyin, then understand

u will not see gains intra-day 1 bc gains r slow obv u need multiple days etc wtvr 2 bc gains happen during Sleep (ie After the learning session, Not During)(analogy to gym, u dont get stronger inside of one session, ur muscle builds up After the session is done)(i notice improvement after one or two days)

do many short sessions, but also include some long sessions

imitating a sentence/paragraph whole-part-whole . listen to the whole thing, then split into parts, then put the parts together . like learning a piano piece . (also this is fractal - if too big, split up)

around this time i tried brute forcing comprehensible input via lazychinese.com, but found it too slow/unoptimal/wtvr

flirting w krashen's hypothesis and i see so many success stories abt krashen (e.g. https://www.reddit.com/r/languagelearning/comments/wetbjo/i_learned_english_through_magic_and_input_krashen/)

this was interesting too, i forgot what i got out of it but it was interesting (https://www.reddit.com/r/languagelearning/comments/r9g1s3/i_immersed_in_spanish_for_900_hours_without_any/)

eventually i disagree w krashen and think he's stupid bc my brother cant speak tagalog

opinion abt tutors

also found out that it lines up with more modern language acquisition theories and critiques of krashen: swain's comprehensible output + dekeyser’s skill building

hypothesis abt memorizing stories might be better than flashcards

like a memory palace but it's stories not palaces

du chinese analysis failed (unique word density starts at 12% then goes to 6%)

i think about here i stopped being so anal about the whole ... diagram that was rooted in kids being sponges

i dont hate language classes as much

trying to brute force grammar

current hypothesis/method:

trying to brute force grammar

same hypothesis abt memorizing stories to learn vocab, but now using AI generated stories (unique word density starts at 32% then goes to 20%. much better!)

build a huge foundation (learn lots of textbook grammar and vocab) (get lots of clay), then iron it out (practice listening/speaking/reading/writing/wtvr to acquire more natural idiomatic expressions and also just increase your speed/skill etc etc) (roll the clay)

[im-the-punk-who]

OKAY SORRY i have too many thoughts to tag rant this because my gutshot was like THESE ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SCENARIOS and they are, but then I realized that like, Silver isn’t seeing them as different, is he?

I always kind of wondered why Silver had such a strong reaction to Flint being like ‘we probably aren’t all going to survive this’ - because it’s a factually true statement. But this set brings up a really good point that like, Silver maybe isn’t seeing Flint - and he’s acting more from a point of PTSD than from reason.

He’s not really thinking about the men - or he is, but he’s also probably thinking about this - the last time someone asked him to think about who was potentially expendable and what happened when he didn’t do that. 

Flint isn’t suggesting they kill the men on that second list, but the reason Silver is hearing it is because that was the stated implication when Vane’s quartermaster put the scenario to him. 

Anyway PTSD is a bitch and I kindly suggest someone get John Silver a very patient therapist.

[loracarol]

I've been reading more manhwa - maybe I'm the last person in the world to start bc I am Square lol. Return for Revenge is.... interesting. It feels (#vibes only) like it's trying to be "realistic" in the same way that Game of Thrones is "realistic", if that makes sense? Holy trigger warnings, though nothing explicitly drawn IMO. That being said, I really liked the plot, uh, "twist"? Is it a twist if I figured it out ASAP? Where the Female Main Character was like, "oh no, you [love interest] can't be with me because I'm reincarnated and my hands are stained with blood from taking my revenge!"

And the LI is like, "oh, hey, me too! My hands are also stained with blood from revenge! Let's be a revenge battle couple!" so I thought that that was a neat story.

On the flip side, I love Another Typical Fantasy Romance. Yes okay, the title is a bit silly, but look, I read it because the LI looked more interesting then your typical LI:

Yup, I'm shallow.

Some people in forums reddit mentioned feeling like it was a little bit boring, and yeah, I can sort of see it? I personally disagree, but it is a little bit more slice-of-life then other romance ones. The main plot is that the FMC was a person from our world isekai'd into a book by accident, and as an apology, the god of that world gave her a wish. The FMC didn't use that wish and instead used her own knowledge of the book to become emperor. While she's emperor, she's pen pals with the above LI. When she's murdered, she uses her wish that she could go back in time and meet him earlier/become friends.

The first time she actually meets him - since she's never met him before in any of her lives, she's a bit afraid of him, but as they grow to care for each other, especially since she's still dealing with the PTSD of her second life, we learn that he's actually adorable and a giant fucking nerd and they talk about their problems and admit to their emotions and it's just. So very sweet. Also the FMC is a #mood.

[lynnetendo]

every day i think about that one haikyuu post someone made about their “music headcanons”

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[thickenmyblood]

It’s interesting because, like, Laurent being conventionally attractive is a pretty integral part of his character? Just because he’s got people fawning over him and being creepy all the time and it’s interesting to think about how it would affect his defensiveness and stuff if he was just, like… average? And tbh if he wasn’t blond and gorgeous I feel like Nik at least would like him a lot better just bc he wouldn’t be like… Damen’s making bad decisions bc he’s horny

Also in terms of Damen only respecting jocks I literally cannot get over the fact that he spends a good half of book one shitting on Ancel and the other pets for being pretty and useless and then straight up gets raped by him and then two scenes later sees him fire dancing and thinks “huh, this guy has a useful skill after all” and smiles on-screen for the first time because he’s genuinely happy the guy got the interest of the regent like seriously Damen I love you but wtf

I'm sorry. I have thoughts. Again.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about this and she told me, basically, that if Laurent wasn't pretty and/or didn't know how to fight, Capri wouldn't be Capri. It'd be a completely different story (although we all agree that it's not just Laurent's skill with a sword that draws Damen in. It's the fact that he starts to see Laurent as someone who's committed to his people, his men, etc.)

I think "being pretty but singed" is an actual trope, as in, many people enjoy writing/reading about someone who is beautiful on the outside but has dark secrets, an ugly past, whatever. Which is interesting to think about. It's also interesting how sometimes we will take a character who is explicitly described as undesirable and ugly and turn them into a hotter version of themselves. I do that with Govart, especially when I'm reading.

Sadly, I disagree a bit on the Nik part. I think Nik's character sometimes is read and interpreted as some sort of comedic relief, much like Nicaise (the fork scene in Book 1, for example). By this point, we all know there is a difference between canon and fanon, and so some characters become caricatures that can be quite the opposite of what they were meant to signify in the original text. I believe—once again, my opinion, just a way to interpret things, nothing else—that Nik's dislike for Laurent runs deeper than the fact that he thinks Damen is being a horny idiot.

Nikandros is a slave owner. He's the Kyros of Delpha, which we all know used to be Delfeur and belonged to Vere. He underestimates Laurent's abilities again and again, and when Laurent proves himself he has to do so in the Akielon way (so, fool Akielon guards, win the Okton—which I'm not even going to try and explain because I don't even get it myself. I really don't). Nikandros doesn't share Damen's journey as a slave, doesn't know what it's like to be at the mercy of another man simply by a twist of fate, doesn't know that slavery is not as fancy and nice as Damen described it in Book 1. Nikandros is Damen pre-journey, unchanged except for the grief of losing his friend. Not that I think Damen has turned into the Virgin Mary towards the end, but whatever.

My biggest issue with Nikandros as a character is that his whole development and "arch" happens in the third book, which is to me the worst book in the trilogy, full of things that make 0 sense, full of contradictions that not even fandom can "fix" without starting a headcanon war of epic proportions. All I can say is that I think Nikandros hates Veretians (dislikes them strongly? considers them militarily inferior? also, morally dubious?) and I refuse to believe after KR he was suddenly okay with slavery being abolished, became best pals with Laurent, and never had a shitty thing to say about Vere again.

Not only does Nikandros have all this prejudice against Veretians (which we can say he sort of overlooked that one time he was plotting with Laurent), but he's also the only person in the trilogy besides Jord that tells Damen things exactly how they are. I think Nikandros' concerns are very, very valid. You can't just build a cute palace on the border, get married without heirs, and unite two countries that have hated each other for many years. . . and not expect any sort of retaliation, uprising, mutiny, etc. It's simply stupid. But then, Pacat writes that that's exactly what happened. So. . . I don't even know where I was going with this.

Also, Nikandros probably doesn't give a fuck about helping Laurent get his kingdom back. Nikandros wants Kastor's head on a spike and for things to go back to how they were, so he can go back to Delpha and eat olives with bread while a hot slave fans him.

Damen only respecting jocks + the thoughts he has on pets and people, in general, are the two reasons why he's a good character when he's depicted as flawed. He has flaws. He judges people harshly and wrongly. He makes assumptions. He lies to himself. Giving him flaws isn't making him OOC. In canon, Damen is deeply flawed, just like Laurent is. I don't know when Lamen became the symbol for all that is good and pure, when really they're both. . . fucked up. Every couple in Captive Prince is fucked up. Jord and Aimeric? Jord is one creepy fuck. Aimeric is basically raping himself (at least in the very beginning, we can debate the rest). Anyone and Erasmus? Fucked. Up. Like, every version of Erasmus with someone ends horribly. Erasmus and Torveld are gross (objectively, because Erasmus is a SLAVE even though Pacat really tried to say 'Torveld is not like the rest of the slave owners, he's different'). Erasmus and Damen are gross because again, power imbalance, also Erasmus' feelings towards Prince Damianos are worthy of a good old therapy session. Erasmus and Kallias? I have thoughts but this is way too long. Erasmus and Govart? Rapey rape. I think the least fucked up couple is Berencel, BUT it can be argued that they're not part of the trilogy. We only meet Ancel in the short stories, so I don't know. Plenty of people haven't read Pet.

My final thoughts on this are that had Laurent been ugly as fuck, it would have taken Damen 400k words to fall in love with him. And if he was ugly AND not blonde. . . 650k.

[clumsyclifford]

bella i am eliciting so much impulse control rn and and and. i just. i had to come tell someone this story so here i am . to tell it to u. i hope u strap in for the ride.

ok so let’s go back to like. 2016? maybe? i was still writing r5 fanfic on wattpad. i was 13-14. i would have people dm me complimenting my fics all the time, and bc we tended to be the same age and share interests, that would often lead to conversations beyond just my writing. one such person was this girl named sydni.

she complimented my fics, i did the usual omg thanks i appreciate it. conversation progressed. we would just talk about r5 or misc stuff we were doing. at the time i was also getting very deep into the patd fandom and had started writing ryden fanfic (we all have our demons). by this point her and i had been getting along and talking for a few weeks. we shared interests, and we even found out we were born on the exact same day of the same year which we thought was cool. being the exact same age. so it continued as casual conversation with a newly formed online acquaintance.

now is how the ryden fic writing becomes relevant. she asks what im doing one day. im like. writing? and she’s like oh what r u writing. im like some gay ass fanfic pal. ryden. and she’s like. well i have something to tell u and u have to promise not to get mad bc ive lost so many friends over it. im like okay what is it!! thinking its about to be something deeply personal or like her coming out or something.

she’s like. well u writing gay fanfic is gross and a sin. im like ?????????? what. little 13 year old me did not know she was a closeted bisexual at the time, but she WAS going through that pre-realization phase of FIERCE ALLYSHIP where she was a shooter4thelgbt. anyways we argue. im like Girl shut the hell up with your bullshit single bible verse defense and just accept all people for who they are. she argues that she isn’t a homophobe, she just disagrees with gay people’s “lifestyle.” i tell her she is literally just a homophobe there is no sugarcoating it. things progress. i become progressively less civil and pretty much tell her to just get over herself. 

at some point she starts telling me this story that she thinks will like. be in her defense?? of her brother riding the bus with a trans boy. who he would constantly deadname and use she/her pronouns for despite the boy telling him to stop and telling him to use he/him pronouns. and finally the boy got so fed up with her brother endlessly harassing him that he screamed at her brother. and of course HE was the one that got suspended. so of course she’s telling this story, dead-naming and misgendering all throughout. and is acting like her brother was in the right.

so she gets done telling it. and im like Um your brother literally harassed a trans kid and he had every right to yell at your brother when he finally got fed up. cue another grossly transphobic spiel with me resending every message of hers back to her with the pronouns corrected. me losing my shit and calling her homophobic and transphobic and saying her brother deserved to be more than just yelled at. she spews at me about god created 2 genders blah blah blah. 

at this point i ignore her. we stop dming after i basically just call her gross and then post a public callout about her being homophobic and transphobic on my wattpad message board Aw. time goes on. then i see one day her talking about being mad that one of the members of r5 posted something in support of the lgbt+ community. it was at this point i decided to have some fun. i asked for her kik and was like i just want to have a civil conversation :(

she agreed. i then added her to a group chat with all of my queer online friends at the time. there were probably like 15 of us and they all agreed when i told them the situation. this group chat then like collectively dismantled every one of her arguments and called her homophobic. she gets pissed and leaves. i get vague’d about this.

i move on. i have not spoken to or thought about her in years. tonight my best friend and i are nostalgically scrolling our wattpad dms since its the first place we ever talked and its now been like 7 years since we first talked. she remembers sydni and is like oh what’s her wattpad these days. i joke that i have hope for her now that shes an adult and can unlearn bigoted beliefs (something i said to her at 13. to unlearn all the gross beliefs taught to her by her parents and be her own person), and say i should dm her to ask if she’s still homophobic.

so i find her wattpad. click her profile. see she now runs a 5sos account?? im like oh ew. STAY AWAY FROM THEM. and then i see she has her twitter username in her bio. so out of curiosity i decide to scroll her twitter.

for starters, i am shocked to see she has like 3K FOLLOWERS?? running a 5sos stan account. and then i was like hmmm i wonder if she’s ever POSTED here about being homophobic. i mean, she was pretty open in posting about her bigotry on wattpad. but i mean hey! because like, its been 6 years! we’re both like baby adults now! maybe she’s grown and learned! maybe she like moved out and went to college and realized she was in the wrong! maybe it was like internalized the whole time or something! in my head, i was so hoping i could give her the benefit of the doubt. i would have been happy to see she had changed.

the first thing i see is a rt thats like “harry styles isn’t a queerbaiter, you people just don’t know how to let him have a private life and mind your own business” which like. i agree! real people can’t queerbait so true! pushing celebrities on their sexualities when it clearly makes them uncomfortable and trying to forcibly out them is gross! but knowing her past i was like This feels icky. This screams of her whole past idea of disagreeing with the “gay lifestyle” and essentially thinking queer people should keep being queer to themselves. so then i went further and. well. i was greatly disappointed. i searched her twitter with the word “gay.” in march 2021 she was arguing with someone about how she’s allowed to disagree with gay people’s “lifestyle” because the bible says being gay is a sin. 

i had so much hope for her bella. i truly hoped she would learn and grow. i have too much faith in people </3 um moral of the story is my impulse control is dwindling. i will be logging off of twitter so i don’t dm her from my lurking account and start problems. i have years of receipts and now screenshots of the tweets from just last year when she was 18. i could ruin this girl to her 3k followers. But I Wont. today i use impulse control. today i choose Peace and Love.

in conclusion. don’t follow twitter user @/mcclesyy because well i really don’t care to not name drop. she needs to stay away from 5sos 👹 maybe she’d calm down if she wrote some muke or something 🙄 /j

bella i am losing my fucking mind this was the most insane rollercoaster i've ever been on

[magpiefngrl]

Do you think people taking issue with the noncon/consent exploration in mdzs are people who mainly read fanfiction? I'm wondering because I've recently read both atonement and the world according to garp and I found both interesting and good reads even when I morally disagreed with the main characters actions or opinions, whereas in fanfiction I often look for 'canon fix its'. All my favorite mdzs fics are about people making amends. Maybe for some reason people want mdzs to be an explicitly queer fanfic version of the untamed? Idk, I think what I really want is to read a full-blown thesis on fandoms

Hi anon and apologies for my late reply.

The short answer: I don't know. I have to say, first, that I'm mainly on the periphery of the mdzs/cql fandoms (who congregate on twitter), I haven't made many new fandom pals, and I keep seeing posts about drama that has happened somewhere somewhen but never the actual drama. I keep missing all the wank lol (seriously, tho: fandom wank can be very illuminating as to the attitudes of the fanbase)

In short, I'm not very knowledgeable as to the prevalent fandom mentality and why people might complain about the consent issues, but if I were to make some assumptions, this is what they'd be:

Firstly, the topic itself. Consent is a sensitive topic, it's a huge trigger for many, and it's understandable that some people don't want to read wangxian's con noncon kink or a dub con kiss or anything similar. Which is perfectly fine, they should stop reading a narrative that explores consent throughout in order to keep themselves safe.

But my gut tells me that you're right, though, in that many of the people kicking up a fuss about the consent issues of mdzs are mostly people who came from cql; in other words, people who have watched the subtle version of wangxian romance, and are used to fanfic or published romance novels like Carry On etc, and expect something similar. They expect romance. Porn. The kind of sex you read in fanfic or in the romance novel section of KU, which is meant to arouse and titillate. When I began reading MXTX's novels, I also initially assumed they'd be like fanfics: a story with a canonically queer pairing posted on internet? It was also my own assumption, come to think of it.

From what I've seen, the romance is the key re: consent (the dub con kiss, the incense burner extra etc) because few, if any, have made similar complaints about the non-consensual golden core transfer, which is the only massively and unarguably noncon instance in the whole series. I've seen excellent meta about it, but not the vehement reactions and hate that the sex scenes have gathered.

The number of fans who began reading danmei recently (and I'm including myself here) must have quadrupled since the success of cql. It's a niche, very niche genre that became almost mainstream, and of course there'd be friction. The success of cql plus other adaptations brought a lot of people that prob wouldn't read danmei or enjoy it. Which is fine to not want to read it, it's fine to dislike the genre, as it's fine to explore new genres and discover new things but many fans, imo, came with the expectations mentioned above. That it's cql but with hot sex. Fans of the novel mdzs are (I'm speculating) people who are comfortable with a highly nuanced book about many weighty themes incl. consent, and prob read similar books which all seem to feature hugely messed up characters and grey morality and be angsty af, so I'd be surprised if the original danmei fans were the ones complaining about a rape fantasy in an extra.

As for wanting to see different things in fanfic, well, that's what fic does, isn't it? It's pure wish fulfillment. You write about the ship you think should be together, or happy endings for the ship that didn't get one, or the yunmeng siblings reconciliation that we all wished we'd see, or Wen Qing being alive etc. It's what we didn't get. I love reading this in fics but I also loved the actual canon story. If I read books that remind me of fanfic (in that everything is neat and orderly and people are being their Best Selves and make few, understandable mistakes for which they immediately apologise), I don't actually enjoy them. I relish the Atonement angst (read this ages ago; should give it a reread), but if I were to read Atonement fanfic, I'd like a happy ending, you know? I get different things from fic than I do from novels, but a lot of people read only fanfic and perhaps they think that's how stories are.

I've rambled on and on. As I've said, I am just a lurker in this fandom. I assume others might have a better understanding of why people have whined so much about the noncon elements of a novel nobody forced them to read. (i'm being salty bc most of the times people complained about this they were also incredibly dismissive towards the author and the genre to the point of coming across as culturally insensitive and racist. Lots of bad faith takes, basically.)

I'm also fascinated by fandom ecosystems---I'd love to read a good thesis on the mdzs/cql fandom too.

[kuronekonerochan]

*deep breath, takes cover* so...about Start Up *activates shields*

Warning: This is a rant... a looooooooooooooooong raaant (pls read this in that long man jap commercial singing voice, if you don’t know what I’m talking about google it...it’s...wow).

First, let’s start with how I feel watching this drama vv

^^ Found footage of drama viewers who went into this hooked by the first engaging episodes thinking it would be a good drama and not crumble to the ground in the second half, after already having gone through Do You Like Brahms? and Record of Youth just in the past few months of 2020.

I think the problem with dramas this year is that the scripts seem like they were written without purpose. A writer should want to tell a story. They should have a clear picture in their minds of what story they want to tell. Of who their characters are as people and how they want them to be at the end and what happens to mold them into who they become and how they get there. 

These scripts don't seem to want to tell a story at all. The writers instead seem to have something to say instead of a story to tell. They want to say ppl are like that and they behave a certain way and so we end up with scripts like Do You Like Brahms? or Record of Youth with a million characters portraying relatable irl attitudes and it works as social commentary, but without a proper plot for a story they want to tell to streamline the whole thing it becomes little more than people watching that is interesting at the beginning as character study but quickly falls apart when it becomes apparent they have no idea what to do with the characters they've created. 

And in DYLB the characters ended up having no time to have properly structured arcs because they stopped the drama and filled the runtime with secondary characters demonstrating various forms of pettiness in human nature and when they got back to the main characters and broke them down they suddenly ran out of time to make them heal on screen so it was a rushed mess.

 Record of Youth was so worried with showing also a billion characters for the different types of ppl there were, that besides PBG, most characters had little to no development They were just there, there was no story it was all pointless.

Start up also had this  vast set of characters, each with defined personalities and individual issues to overcome: the sister with her internalized (and misplaced) guilt and her defense coping mechanism of lashing out on her sister and overcompensating stubborn behavior; the mother with her life choices; the grandmother with her past lies and current health issues; Dal Mi with her rage issues and her inferiority complex and her relationship with her sister; Do San with his confidence issues and his self sacrificing/self sabotaging bullshit; Ji Pyeong with his loner complex and his guilt towards grandma and back into her family and the unresolved issues with Dal Mi; plus the found family aspect, the team growing together, Ji Pyeong being begrudgingly supportive against his will and Nam Do San being disarmingly honest and kind to him even when they disagree bc that's how he is, even if he now stands up for himself and starts to be cheekier.

 And that's how the drama was going... until it wasn't. Because there was a sandbox competition and jargon and stuff to cram in there for conflict and a love triangle they decided to drag for some reason... and suddenly because some events needed to happen the characters start behaving in a way that makes no sense to their established personalities. Do San is blowing up all the time and him and Ji Pyeong hate each other all of a sudden... no more endearing bickering, pure vitriol; Dal Mi after the whole reveal with the letters never had a personal conversation with Ji Pyeong again; the mother had an out of the blue christian mea culpa...without barely talking to any character prior besides the MIL; and one of Do San's friends is pissed at Ji Pyeong, also out of the blue bc years ago he was mean to his brother and he killed himself. He is mad now, halfway into the competition...not when they met Ji Pyeong at their old place, or during the whole "fooling Dal Mi as a CEO" arc, or even at the beginning of the sandbox...just randomly now. Artificial conflict who?

 And Dal Mi and her sister...well the drama doesn't have time to unpack all that, or show a proper personal conversation between Ji Pyeong and Dal Mi, but this drama also needs to end with the family back together and Do San still needs to end up as the brilliant confident engineer he needs to be, and since him and his Sherpa, who should have been the one to nurture him (even with a bit of tough love), are now busy hating each other...well TIME JUMP TIME!

Character development on screen who? Do you like Brahms? Start up sure does bc they did the exact same thing...when you write yourself into a corner...stop writing, do a time jump and tell everyone everything already happened. 

This is latest mutation of the time jump trope is even worse than the usual kind. The romantic trope one was usually for self reflection, to make a break from the conclusion of the dramatic plot and transition smoothly into a happy ending (since killing off the bad guy, who one of the characters might be related to or had befriended before he went off the deep end and thus have conflicting feelings about, and immediately jump into the smooching mood might be a tad too much), or fix up the power imbalance in traditional kdramas (the female lead spends the whole drama as his secretary...time jump glow up for curriculum abroad so she doesn’t have to work for him all day before coming home together...not that sexy, kind of exhausting really), or simply kdrama trope tradition like the last minute amnesia...just because.

 But in our year of the devil 2020 time jumps are now where the meat of the plot should be. The emotional resolutions, the healing, the forgiveness, where relationships are mended and strengthened and the important events take place. It’s the divine spa for plot holes and lazy writing where scriptwriters sip their drinks and congratulate themselves for a work well done, because in the end it all worked out...their characters come out of the time jump spa feeling refreshed, with a new purpose in life at peace with themselves and all their struggles past them, just in time for a happy reunion, or just footage of them looking at cellphones and posters and talking about other characters so the audience knows all is well and they’re all pals now... and then they go back to their chores and the camera pans out (okay this one I realize due to the pandemic maybe having the entire cast together could be difficult, but at least showing them interacting one on one for god’s sake).

I know this was long and ranty, but I am getting tired of this new trend of  Don't show and don't tell...at least not to their faces. Go with "Oh, haven't you heard? xoxo gossip girl". I am all for good character study and social commentary, but maybe tell a story and then according to the actions of the characters give them realistic personality traits. And only then, after having a clear plot in mind, incorporate the characters into the story and not the story into the characters.

[halfgclden]

gene n alice pls!! ship meme

ka’zenga,,,, but pronounced ka-zinga

Who is more aggressive in bed? - (:

Lights on or off? - um it feels illegal to elaborate but they’re both morning people so it doesn’t matter

Who does what chores? - the woodland creatures that alice sings to do all the work for them but gene lifts all the heavy things bc alice likes to watch him do that

Who gets babied when they’re sick? - when alice gets sick she curls into a little ball and sleeps it off but gene would make soup from veggies at the farm and leave them on her table with water and juice and gene doesn’t get sick but when he does he was really gross and didn’t want alice seeing him at all so she dropped some mushroom stew off outside his window

Who makes breakfast? - alice uses the chicken eggs!

What are their quirks while sleeping? - idk if either of them have sleeping quirks?? it gets foggy if alice has a bad dream?

What is their favorite activity as a couple? - hikes, picnics, and sailing

Who is the stricter parent? - gene can be a real hardass but alice helps him to be more reasonable and he’s Finally learned after his years with devin not to push too hard bc it will backfire

Who would be the big spoon? - gene 😌

Who would wake up first? - they both wake up to the sound of their rooster

Do they have nicknames for each other? - i,,, don’t think so, maybe a “, dear” added to the end of their names

What happened when they met each other’s parents? - gene’s parents thought alice was a bit strange but she’s very nice and polite so they liked her. alice’s parents don’t speak english and gene doesn’t speak finnish so he learned a few dutch greetings but uh,,, yeah

How do they apologize after an argument? - they don’t argue if they disagree they talk about it

What would they be like as parents? - they’d definitely have a Gaggle of children (sorry alice) that are all weirdly well-adjusted but a little,,, strange. alice would be perfect tiny mom who teaches them all the life skills like what plants you can eat and how to handle animals correctly and gene is the dad that u think is scary until u realize he uses all his muscles to hug his teeny wife n kids but also he Can be scary if u try anything

Who is the better cook? - they’re both v good at it so they make things together a lot!

Who is more romantic? - it’s alice c”: but gene does his best it just doesn’t come as naturally to him

What sort of gifts do they get for each other? - handmade things but also little acts of service and since gene isn’t v good at making crafty things he gets small sentimental things or commissions something

Who gets jealous easiest? - hA gene alice doesn’t know vice

Who gets more excited for events? (e.g. birthdays, christmas…etc) - alice? she seems like she doesn’t go All Out like some people do but definitely gets very excited for festivities and being around happy people

Who is the most adventurous? - oo um alice she’s quiet about it but life is one big adventure!

Who is the most protective? - oH gene u wanna try something bro?? do ya???

What would they have been like as childhood sweethearts? - they met through one of those school pen pal groups and alice came by one year on exchange and he was like oh no oh god she’s so cute and every day he’d bring her flowers and they’d go on picnics and and hikes and he went from a Full lax bro to a Full hippie and oh no then she has to leeeeave but they’d keep in touch through writing and skype and maybe surprise visits?

Song to sum them up? - i can Not think of the Ghost Duet (Louie Zong) without thinking of them but also West Coast - Coconut Records

[godtrials]

sorry im dumb and i don't understand that post about amy pond. are people saying that she was wrong in murdering those people so it's okay for dean to murder her or are they saying that dean shouldn't have murdered her just because killed four people? and you're disagreeing with which one? or am i getting everything wrong?

(i personally think she should have lived because she was sam friend and therefore i liked her and wanted her to live idc what she did everyone's a serial killer in this show)

the first one! so initially everyone was like WHAT the fuck dude dean should not have killed sam’s pal in front of her kid, especially after promising not too. she only killed people bc she felt she had to to save her kid, and she killed “““bad””” people so it’s okay!

but then there was some pushback saying it’s not okay to kill even if people are ‘bad’ (true), so dean was okay to kill her (what?). that was what i was being like ??? at, like yes she was wrong to kill even to protect her son -- although yeah, within the world of supernatural & especially dean’s morals, this was pretty normal -- but for that exact same reason dean shouldn’t have killed her.

[anxietylord]

Tagged by @marzipanandminutiae thank you friend! 

Name: Crow or Anxiety, lymongrab on AO3

Fandoms: I’ve only ever written for Pacific Rim, Gotham (it was years ago), and the greater Batman universe

Two-shot: I haven’t really done any two-shots, just one shots, a one shot collection that I’m pretending isn’t a multi-chapter fic, and a longfic, so I guess I’ll just pick my favorite true one-shot which is this Pacific Rim NewMann one. Quite proud of this one though it mostly flew under the radar compared to my other stuff. 

Most popular multi-chapter: My Love Me Dead “one-shot collection” of Scriddler pieces, which, if we aren’t kidding ourselves, is a multi-chapter fic. (It’s a bunch of events that happen in linear order in the same universe but don’t really have a specific overarching plot).

Actual worst part of writing: finding time to do it without feeling guilty about not working instead of enjoying my hobby 🙃 

How you choose your titles: I descend into Hell where Satan himself personally tortures me and then hands me the most stupid, mediocre, half-assed title that’s some dumb song lyric or stupid summation. I then come back to the mortal realm and cry. (I hate titling, can you tell?)

Do you outline: For long fics, yes, for one-shots and drabbles I’m a pantser. 

Ideas you probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice: 

-I DESPERATELY want to dip my toes into some DS9 writing, maybe Garashir but probably Quodo. Hopefully I’ll actually get to this, but probably not till the late fall bc I’m super busy and finishing my one shot series/the server challenge coming up needs to take priority. 

- I’m also thinking about maybe doing a lil Reanimator Herbert/Dan (is there a ship name for that pairing?) at some point, but I haven’t quite figured out their dynamic yet, so that’ll be a ways off. 

-I really wanna write more Sinnerverse Scrids one-shots or short series outside of the long fic, or maybe even some genderswapped Scrids where they just stay as Jo and Ed because I love them so much. 

-I’m a lil interested in writing some non-Gotham Pengy or even Harvey (I’ve been feeling Two-Face recently, he’s an interesting dude).

Callouts @ yourself: WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. 

Best writing traits: Hmmm I guess from what people have told me, characterization (People like my Newt and Hermann, and also my Jon and Ed, and weirdly enough my Fish Mooney when I used to write for Gotham), I’ve also been told my work is very “evocative” since I spend a lot of time on details, people also like that I made one of my characters turn off the stove and put away the food before I let them make out 😂 

Spicy tangential opinion: Let your characters do scary and horrible shit if they’re villains! You can make a character cartoony and flamboyant AND STILL LET HIM HURT PEOPLE. In fact, that makes him even scarier when he does. (Can you tell I’m talking about someone in particular lmao) Also ‘NoT eVeRy ViLlAiN NeEdS a TrAgIc BaCkStOrY’ Okay literally why are you even writing villains then? The whole fun of them is exploring the question of how an otherwise average person got to this point? Also not every villain needs a redemption arc just let them be evil and sexy. These are all just personal preferences for what I write and read by the way. If your disagree with any of these that’s totally fine and I’m not trying to start shit, just my hot takes personally. 

Obvi no pressure but could be fun tagging @acapelladitty @korereapers @pinkiepiebones @camprocklobster since I think y’all are my main fic writing pals (Although I’m sure all of you have already been tagged in this hahaha)

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

tw/venting

so im once again randomly sad at 1:30 and honestly i hate it. i always seem to get really just down and upset during the early morning. (probably because i need to be sleeping) but this is stressful to be honest. im feeling a ton of guilt that i shouldnt even feel bad about. right, so we all know that im how old? a minor, and like.......im fine with that. im fine being this age. but like....i feel like im carrying feelings for things that dont even have to do with me. some people are like “yeah, i dont want minors interacting with my content” and for some reason, i always wonder if it has something to do with me. it doesn’t, but i feel this secondhand guilt for some reason, and it hurts. and i know it’s really selfish of me to do that, and im victimizing myself with this. i always obey the “MDNI” on people’s posts, but sometimes i feel like i did something bad. like with smut, specifically, i completely understand why people wouldn’t want minors interacting with that, it makes so much sense.

then i start feeling really upset about how i literally write smut, and read it. im starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me for having written smut, and had a specific audience read and react to it. i sometimes feel gross for just wanting to read smut. and a lot of the fandoms i read smut for may have the “MDNI” on it, which is fine, but after that, I feel this deep trench form, and it’s the worst thing. i just feel like im weird, and dirty for wanting to read smut about characters. and here comes the argument of me, a minor, reading smutty ass fanfiction about grown characters, in some scenarios. of course, i imagine myself older, above legal age, but that doesn’t stop the nasty feelings I feel. and with characters that are my age, or around my age, like with my hero academia, like sure, i crush on sero and everything, but i feel awful about reading smut for him. or even thinking about smutty things.

this also briefly dips into how i interact with my mutuals’ fics, particularly the smuttier ones. i think ‘oh god, am i being gross by interacting with this’ and i know that if they have an issue with me interacting with their fics, they would say it, clearly, and explain what needs to be explained. and i love that. but i always feel like im the weird one here, like im the odd one out, i guess because of my age. and i absolutely love and appreciate that they’ve created a safe space for me. it’s just an internal thing that’s really bothering me. and i absolutely love my mutuals as well. and i know that they also love and appreciate me, i guess i just feel that guilt.

and i know that it’s completely normal for kids my age, and teens to think about, and sometimes desire sexual things. and i know that it’s fine to explore those thoughts. sometimes, though, i just feel like im being a hypocrite. i. e. some shoes marketed towards teens, such as euphoria, and riverdale (off the top of my head, not biased) portray teenagers that might not be accurate. i don’t know what it’s like to be y’know present in a high school, and there, but for my own experiences, at least, i feel like it’s not true, or at least not in all of its glory. im like the outlier for a lot of that stuff. and i know it probably exists in some places, but i feel like this is how society views teens, and what they expect from us. i feel this odd pressure to be everything that society expects me not to be. and on some posts and stuff, i see what seems to be a bit of a disdain for kids of my generation, or at least gen z and i just kinda freeze and panic. i go “oh god, do they think this of me” “do they hate me” and i know that they don’t but it’s this lingering thought of “this is what they think of other kids in the same group as you”. i know it doesn’t represent the entire view but i just feel like i cant say anything, or bring it up. it makes me feel like im the problem.

anyway, i feel like i can’t do some of the things that i want because im scared of what people will think of me. like, sometimes i just feel hot, y’know and of course, send nice photos to a pal or two, but i’d never post that shit publicly. why, you might ask? because im a minor, and just because i feel nice about myself doesn’t mean that i need other ppl being gross about it. some people always say “these teens are always posting stuff all over social media. they share everything on there.” one, yes, we do, some people should know better. but also, two, this is new, people are being misled, mistakes are going to happen. plus, when you dont have that outlet to do other things, you go where you may feel safer to do something. it may not even be the best choice either. i agree that teens shouldnt post everything to social media, but i also believe that we should be allowed to make mistakes too? and have a bit of fun (where it’s morally correct, im not talking about driving people to suicide, or posting nudes (or semi-nudes on insta when you’re 13, that’s just wrong) anyways. i just feel like i cant do anything bc im gonna get shit for it, and further promote an agenda, but at this point im kinda starting to tear myself down about other people’s opinions, and that’s shitty.

also i feel like teens cant do shit in GENERAL, but that’s another conversation for another fucking day.

i always try to keep my opinions and everything at bay, because i hate when conflict is directed at me. and i dont like the panic of waiting for someone to text, or message me when i had what could be considered a hot take. i feel like i cant disagree, or think differently. or even sometimes just speak my mind because im scared of the repercussions. so i kinda just shut up, and stay in my little corner, and i absolutely hate that. but i also dont like being vocal about my opinions because of the fear that it produces.

and also sometimes some of the shit that people come up with im like......okay, i feel like i cant joke about. like when i talk about “MILF dennys” or “DILF buffalo wild wings” I DONT WANT TO BE A MILF, NOR A DILF. i dont even want kids, so ahaha. i say that shit as a joke.

kids, get future milf out of your bio, unless you put a “/j” or “/hj” after it. also, you don’t want to be a sex worker, or a stripper. im pro sex-work, but don’t look at that as your ONLY job option. that shit gets people killed, or tortured, and mistreated. if it’s a joke, it’s a joke, but it’s a dangerous choice, and it’s your grave bestie. and no, people contradicting you isn’t sexist, or misogynistic UNLESS IT’S LITERALLY THAT. people can be like “i think your opinion is a little harmful, ngl” and you can respond respectfully and be like “do tell, im open to  listen” and not go off about someone not supporting your choices. if it’s something that you can avoid, do it. IF IT’S ILLEGAL, DONT DO IT. like, prostitution is illegal where i live, so if yall try to do that shit, dont expect to be given special treatment. people already see kids, women, and sex workers as what? OBJECTS. you’re nothing to people who may be incarcerating you one minute, and calling you for a 5 minute hookup the next. it’s not empowerment to be on places, and letting yourself be groomed and taken advantage of by nasty ass people who need to be locked up. i understand that you should be able to do what you wan, and wear what you want, but there’s some disgusting people out here.

and it’s also the usual shit bothering me, the pandemic, school, my brother saying fatphobic stuff, yada yada. i want a HUG. and i need to sit in someone’s lap for god’s sake anyways.

im also pretty sure that it’s NOT normal to have this many extreme changes in mood. like i was fine earlier yesterday but as soon as i see one thing that hits too close, im upset so....anyways.

also yes i feel bad about this because i really need to talk to someone about these issues, instead of y’know, letting them pile up and haunt me until im emotionally unavailable because i hide my feelings. this is further promoting other people’s view of teens oversharing on social media. but to be honest, people are going to hate gen z, and teens for a lot of shit. and i cant stop them from doing that. i can, however, keep myself out of their line of sight and dont cause issues about it. anyways, im gonna go rewatch some invincible (wow 3rd time now). and try to keep my mind off of wanting to be in someone’s arms while we make out. :)