#will delete this later

[vivika-ka]

For anyone in the ASPEC community, how did you find out you are in the ASPEC spectrum? I’ve been grappling with my identity for a while now.

Getting super personal for a minute but as someone who grew up in a small town in Brazil where even the concept of being LGBTQ+ was considered a sin/taboo during the time I was a child and teen (I’ve been told it’s somewhat better now!), I’m still trying to understand my own sexuality now that I’m out of there and have the opportunity to even explore how I feel.

And thinking back on my intimate experiences, I never felt anything while engaging in them. I’d enter some sort of limbo, idk. Just complete numbness. And I felt absolutely awful after—I’d be extremely depressed for days.

Like, I know only one instance when the journey of being together with the person and even light activities (that felt genuine) made me feel enjoyment and love. And there were the rare times I’d want to engage in sexual activities, when I felt in love with the person. But when it got to the activity itself, zilch, I felt nothing. Which made me feel guilty.

I still have difficulties knowing what spectrum I fall under. On one hand I’d say I’m panromantic asexual. On the other hand I’d say I’m just pan asexual. But both experiences (romantic and non-romantic) rendered me numb.

The thing that confuses me is, I love romance. I love love, if that makes any sense. But when it comes to me in the equation, it often (but not always) falls flat? So I get to the question of, “Am I aromantic too, then?” And I fall in this rabbit hole of scattered identities. And admittedly I often find myself falling into some sort of traditional line of thinking (thx Protestant and Catholic upbringing 🫠)

Anyway, I’m in a constant state of trying to understand myself and my sexuality, and even feel pressured at times to have a specific answer, given how it seems extremely important for people online.

Most people seem so sure. They know with such certainty, I find myself envious at times. Given that I often find myself at a lost. And that usually makes me feel…incomplete, for a lack of better word. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Idk.

[amajorchord]

Drawing clefdraki again after Francis streak peace and love on planet earth

[avonne-writes]

I feel like shit for no apparent reason, I'm scared, I'm sad, I don't want to eat, I hate myself. I'm sorry I'm not doing better. I have no excuse to be like this.

[cheery-bomb]

[elysiansparadise]

Having someone's Ceres exact conjunt to your Mercury and feeling the urge to write and talk about them all the time. As if they awaken your mental productivity and stimulate you mentally like no one else. God.

[sunny1927]

Random thought: I like giving characters a little gap in their teeth’s (out of nowhere. I just think it’s cute and simple)

Just. Wanted to share that. Yeah

[applesoftgaze]

Shimmy shimmy ya shimmy ya shimmy ya mm drank swalala mm drank swalala swalala

[simsimulation]

This isn't terrifying AT ALL!!

[nettleclanstale]

GUYS.

HAZELSTAR WAS A CALICO THIS WHOLE TIME AND I NEVER NOTICED.

[ozarkthedog]

Some people use likes as a bookmark and may not have read them yet...

your attitude 🤮

I already know this but there are other ways to save fics to read. Your drafts?? A side blog? Or maybe just reblog with a ‘TBR’ tag??

[magicians-abode]

This is the part where I start questioning myself and begin doubting if this is even accurate and how the hell to continue writing it. I have... so many drafts, so many notes saved for a fanfic for Asra that I left unfinished just because of this same doubt... God I wish I could write like @iridescent-solstice

(Don't mind if the English is shitty, it's not my first language but I usually proof read things before publishing something here)

[amajorchord]

Two fully colored posts and im alreayd back on the grind im insane

[nell0-0]

Too tired to draw, what is this curse. I wanna draw so badly but can't even focus on the screen, augh

[cheery-bomb]

my fishnets again

[hanafubukki]

WHHHHHEEEEEE I HAVENT SLEPT FOR….awhile….and counting 😆🥰

….im going to knock out …eventually

Someone send lilia or malleus to wake me up if no one hears from me hahahah 🥰🥰💞💞

[pezhead]

Apologies to the any tmntaucomp specific asks I didn't answer. I won't be answering those since Age Gap is no longer in the comp, and I'd like to focus my attention on other art/projects/etc~