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littlcdarlin · 16 days ago

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My Burning Sun Will Someday Rise

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 || read on AO3

summary: Reader goes on a beach vacation with Joel after her father breaks his leg. tags: daddy kink, big age gap (Joel is 49, reader is 23), dbf!Joel, Joel has a lovely belly, Joel is a little mean, praise kink, Joel calls reader "kid", unprotected piv, creampie, cunnilingus, sexual tension, blow jobs, smut with a little bit of plot, no use of Y/N, afab!reader, reader has hair (will add more as I add more parts)

note: The devil works fast but I work faster. New multi chapter smut fic inspired by those damn new Pedro pics in the works…enjoy part 1! I haven't planned all of the smut scenes, so if you have any requests for specific kinks/scenes, do let me know!

He’s dead fucking wrong. You love your father, enough to not immediately say no, but he’s wrong. It’s true you could use a girls’ trip, perhaps even a couple of days out of town with your Dad, and he’s not entirely off about university being the death of you, kiddo – you’ve spent one too many nights inhaling coffee and cramming for your finals. The idea of an all-inclusive trip is tempting, given the fact that all you manage to eat these days is pasta and store-bought pesto, if that.

Nevertheless, you need to keep studying, there’s less than two weeks left until your exams, and although the trip is only a couple of days, you don’t know Joel.

Sure, you’ve been to his barbecues, and he let you use his bike one year when yours was stolen and your Dad refused to buy you a new one, because you should have locked it up in the first place. You know how he patched up your Dad after the divorce – you never worried about your mother, who was heartbroken, but able to talk about it to her family and friends. Your Dad was the one you spent sleepless nights over. The way the beer bottles accumulated in his garage, how distant he seemed on the phone. You know it was Joel who looked after him, made sure he left the house and had anything edible inside it. You’re grateful for it, you are, but you don’t really know him. For most of your life, he has been a friendly smile and wave over a fence, and you’re shy around people you know much better than the occasional hey kid, you back for the summer? or if you see your Dad, tell him I borrowed his screwdriver, I’ll put it back tomorrow.

You do feel slightly guilty your Dad can’t go on his trip. He broke his leg, and although it’s not entirely your fault he slipped, you had been the one to mop the stairs right before the accident. As much as your Dad was looking forward to his vacation, after a week he had to admit a beach holiday would be little fun with a whole leg in plaster.

You sigh, staring at your phone screen, tapping on it every once in a while to keep it from turning black. He’s expecting an answer soon, you know he is. Who the hell books non-refundable trips anyway? When you get the time, you’ll need to tell him about a lovely invention that is insurance.

You glance over at the stack of unfinished coursework on your desk, your laptop taunting you with its quiet – no responses to the millions of job applications you have sent out have come through. At this rate, you’ll be jobless in a couple of months, when you finish your degree. You’ll have to live with either of your parents forever, no money for any sort of vacation whatsoever.

"Oh, screw it,“ you mutter, unlocking your phone, and typing quickly.

I’ll do it. Only because my A+ cleaning is the reason you can’t go. Tell Joel to bring something to read, I need to study.

***

"It’d be a shame if it went to waste, kiddo, I’m glad you’re doing this.“

"Yeah,“ you answer, thinking of the endless powerpoint slides you haven’t even looked at yet. "Maybe studying at the beach works wonders.“

There’s a knock on the door, and you move to open it, your Dad chained to his chair by his broken leg. You’re not particularly excited about the smalltalk you’ll have to make with your Dad’s friend, but if you remember correctly, Joel is as much the quiet type as you are, and might actually appreciate your studying. Great, you think, at least one of us will enjoy it, then.

When you open the door, the first thing that strikes you is how hard you find it to envision Joel at the beach – he’s all mountains and trees to you, with his lumberjack boots and flannel shirt. His smile is friendly, and only gains warmth when he notices the critical look you give his outfit.

"I know,“ he says, voice deep and quiet, "I’m king of dressing for the occasion.“

You grin, and open the door wider.

"Come on in. Dad’s in the living room. What’s with the…uh…“

Your voice trails off, as you gesture towards his distinctly un-vacationy clothes.

"Thought you might bail,“ Joel answers easily, stepping into the house. "Can’t imagine you’re overly thrilled about this.“

You think about denying it, but this is your chance to come clean about how you would much prefer keeping to yourself and preparing for your finals, so you sigh.

"Well, it’s kinda my fault Dad was, like, almost paralyzed from the neck down, so I figured the least I could do was not let his trip go to waste. I’ve got finals in two weeks, so the timing is…suboptimal.“

"Yeah, your Dad said. I brought reading material, so I won’t bother you too much.“

He’s easy, you realize. Easy to talk to, and easy to accept your reluctance to bond with an almost-stranger, quick to make you feel comfortable by hinting at that boundary. You smile back, and are struck by how he holds your eye contact until you break it yourself, nodding towards your suitcase.

"Think this will fit inside the car?“

"Sure,“ he answers, "I’ve got a Bronco.“

You have no idea what that means, but you assume it’s a good thing, so you smile vaguely.

"It’s an SUV,“ Joel explains with a hint of good-natured amusement in his voice.

"Right,“ you say, attempting to overplay your obvious lack in car-knowledge, "SUV. One of the big ones.“

It makes Joel smile again, and you notice the wrinkles around his eyes that make his face look all sunny.

"Yeah,“ he says. "One of the big ones.“

You lead him into the living room to say good-bye to your Dad, who’s expression is a weird mixture of sombre and excited at the sight of his daughter and best friend getting ready to drive to the airport.

"Take care of her, Joel,“ he says, when you’re getting ready to leave.

"Don’t worry,“ Joel answers with a pat to your father’s arm. "I’ve got her.“

"I’m twenty-three,“ you remind your father, "I’ve done more dangerous things than a trip to the beach.“

"Yeah, but you’re still my little girl,“ he answers with a smile, squeezing your hand. You squeeze back, though his comment irritates you.

"See ya, Dad. Call me if something’s wrong with your leg, alright?“

"Sure, kiddo. Have fun, you two, and bring me a seashell.“

Joel grins at the open envy on your Dad’s face.

"We’ll go on another trip next year,“ he says in an attempt to cheer him up.

"Yeah, yeah,“ your Dad answers, glancing at his watch. "Better get going, or you’ll miss the flight.“

"We’ll be fine, Joel’s got a fast car,“ you argue, "A Bronco. That’s an SUV.“

Joel snorts.

***

Joel lets you take the window seat and plops down next to you, legs slightly spread so as to fit into the little space the two of you have. His leg nudges yours, and he pulls it back immediately, though you can see how uncomfortable it must be with his knees pressing into the seat in front of him. You move your legs towards the window with a glance at Joel, who looks grateful and is able to relax his muscles into a more comfortable position without invading your space.

"Thanks,“ he mutters, "Fucking hate flying.“

So do you, though not because you’re too big to fit into the space, and not because you’re afraid – mostly because it’s boring. Sure, takeoff is exciting, but you get nauseous from watching movies and the plane is much too loud to really enjoy your music the way you would lying on your bed at home. You could study, you suppose, but you tell yourself you wouldn’t be able to concentrate and kick your backpack further under your seat. Joel notices and chuckles.

"Finals, huh? You almost done with your degree?“

You can’t imagine him finding your boring university struggles interesting, but you’re not exactly fantastic at smalltalk, so you take the conversation he’s offering you.

"I’ve got one more year, but I’ve got to do a six month internship, and write my thesis, so yeah, this is, like, the last of my regular classes and exams.“

"You enjoy it?“

The question is strikingly honest, like he really wants to know, like it’s fine if you don’t. You look at him, his eyes already on your face, and for a second you think how handsome he is. You didn’t notice before, when he was just the owner of a bike you could conveniently borrow, when life was all skinned knees and staying up till sun-down. Now, he looks like an equal, like someone who wants to know about your life, someone you want to know about yourself. The change is a little unsettling, but thrilling. You realize you haven’t answered him, so you clear your throat.

"Sure, it’s alright. Not what I would have done if money didn’t matter, but it does, so…I can be content with it.“

Joel considers this, eyes still lingering on your face, as the plane starts speeding up for takeoff.

"What would you do if money didn’t matter?“

You shrug, and smile to yourself.

"Creative writing, maybe. Or English lit.“

"You always were the smart one in your family,“ Joel answers with a chuckle.

You glance at him, and feel a pang of something warm in your stomach as he compliments you. When the plane takes off, you look out of the window, but get the feeling Joel’s eyes keep looking at you. It makes your skin prickle, though not at all unpleasantly.

***

You get to the hotel when the sun is high in the sky, burning the top of your head and making you long for a shower and an ice-cold coke. Joel courteously carries your suitcase and although you don’t want to inconvenience him, you don’t mind the way his muscles bulge under the weight, arms straining against the navy shirt he had underneath his flannel. You wonder how he’s not suffocating in the heat, wearing his thick jeans and boots.

When you get to the front desk, he fishes his phone out of his pocket, searching for his reservation details with furrowed brows. You smile when you notice he uses two hands to scroll. It takes him a couple of minutes, cursing under his breath, and you smile at the lady, who smiles back, patiently waiting for Joel to find the right email.

"Sorry,“ you say to her, and try to catch a glimpse at Joel’s phone, so as to figure out what’s taking him so long. "Need some help?“

He throws you an offended look that makes you grin, and finally shows the lady his phone. She smiles, types something into her computer and gets out two room keys.

"Go easy on your Daddy, it’s easier when you grew up with the internet,“ she says, handing you each a keycard. You feel Joel stiffen beside you, and your stomach flutters.

"Here’s your keycards, you’re on the third floor. Enjoy your stay!“

"Thanks,“ Joel mumbles, taking the cards and handing them to you, before grabbing the two suitcases. He huffs, when you walk around a corner and towards the elevators.

"She was makin’ fun of me,“ he says accusingly when the lady is out of earshot, as if that would be your fault. You snort, all of a sudden feeling giddy at the prospect of being at the beach soon, your holiday only a couple of minutes away.

"I don’t think so, she was trying to help you by blaming your incompetence on your age,“ you say, Joel looking at you like he can’t believe what you said.

"Sorry.“ Your voice is quivering with amusement at how offended he is. "Daddy.“

That makes him clear his throat, and if your eyes aren’t playing a trick on you, his cheeks turn a shade darker. Bingo.

"Don’t say shit like that,“ Joel grumbles, "’M not that old.“

"How old are you, then?“

"Why?“, he asks, eyes meeting yours, and suddenly you’re the one blushing, your stomach swirling with something you definitely should not be feeling for your Dad’s best friend. Joel shakes his head. "Don’t start something neither of us can finish, kid.“

It’s just an offhand-comment about the way you jokingly flirted, but you feel all bashful all of a sudden. His mention of there being something to potentially start, the fact that the possibility even crossed his mind…when you look up at him again and watch him press a button on the elevator, you study the grey patches in his beard, the way his jaw clenches and unclenches as you’re waiting, his thick fingers drumming against the handle of his suitcase. It’s not what you expected to happen, but Joel’s got you intrigued.

***

You both agree to take a shower, get settled in and meet outside the rooms in half an hour – they’re neighboring, so it’s not far. You’re too lazy to properly unpack, so you just grab a bikini and a comfortable white sundress to change into after your shower. The water is welcome on your skin, washing away the grit and sweat of the hours spent on the plane, and you feel like a new person when you step out of the bathroom. You put on sandals and a pair of sunglasses, grab sunscreen, your books and notes for class, and a bottle of water, and throw it all into your beach bag, then head for the door. Joel is already waiting for you, leaning against the wall opposite your door wearing a different shirt, red swimming trunks and dark sunglasses. He’s got a towel thrown over his shoulder and you grin.

"Raw-dogging the beach?“, you ask, which makes him furrow his brows.

"The hell does that mean?“

You snort at his obvious annoyance at your innuendo.

"It means you’re only bringing a towel, nothing to entertain yourself with,“ you explain, gesturing towards your bag. Joel shakes his head, still frowning.

"I’m going to the beach, not the library,“ he answers, and starts walking towards the elevators, his flip-flops making their soft sound on the floor. Your gaze flickers down towards his legs, his swimming trunks revealing tan thighs.

"Comin’?“

You swallow, and catch up with him.

***

He’s fucking gorgeous. It’s a problem, how gorgeous he is, tan torso, swimming trunks low on his hips, bits of dark hair scattered across his chest and soft belly. His shoulders are wide, like they were made for swimming, his hair glistening as he shakes like a wet dog when he comes up for air. You have been staring at the same page for far too long now, but there’s no way Joel is able to notice your staring, not when you’re wearing your sunglasses and he’s busy swimming.

You know it’s a bad idea, that there’s no good that can come from crushing on a man twice your age, more than that, even. You know he must surely see the girl who came over to borrow his bike with tears of anger in her eyes every time he looks at you, and you know how much he respects your father.

Still, you are allowed to have fun. You’re doing this for your Dad more than anything, and you’ve been bending over backwards trying to make him proud with your good grades, so if there’s something you’re able to get out of this trip, you figure you’re at least allowed to look. And anyway, it’s not hurting anyone. It’s just natural, the half-naked bodies and blissful relaxation would affect anyone who has spent the last four months cramped up in a little dorm room.

You watch Joel swim towards the beach again, rising out of the water like some sort of Poseidon sent to personally make this trip unbearable for you. You think of his reaction when you teasingly called him Daddy, and swallow.

"Fuck,“ you mumble to yourself, when he tugs on his swimming trunks so that they don’t slide over his hips, dripping water onto the dry sand all around him. He smiles at you as he makes his way over to your spot – two deckchairs shielded by a parasol.

"Wow,“ Joel says sarcastically, when he looks at your book, still on page two. "Real page turner, huh?“

You blush, and open your mouth to defend yourself, but Joel’s expression softens, all biting humor gone, as he grabs his towel.

"You’re allowed to take a break from studying, you know?“

You watch him dry himself off, big hands rubbing the towel over his chest and stomach, leaving his legs to dry on their own, as he lays down on his deckchair.

"Easy to say, you’re not the one who has to face my Dad if you fail all your exams.“

Joel turns his head towards you, and you’re struck by how gentle his expression is.

"I know he can be a hard ass, but I guarantee you you’re not goin’ to fail all your exams, kid.“

You sigh and shrug.

"He give you a hard time ’cause of your grades?“

"No,“ you answer quickly, all of a sudden feeling defensive of your father. "I just wanna…make him proud.“

Joel smiles.

"I know for a fact you’re doin’ that without even tryin’. And anyway, it’s good to take breaks. Let’s your brain cool off and absorb information much better afterwards.“

Can’t argue with that logic, you think and close your book with a thud. Joel grabs it from you and throws it into your beach bag.

"I grant you two hours of studying each day,“ he says, and you have to laugh. "The rest is for having fun, gettin’ tan and drinkin’ cocktails."

It’s preposterous, that he would order you around like that after you told him you need to study, back before you even made it to the airport. But something is different here, away from your desk, and your Dad’s broken leg (and the rest of him, for that matter). Joel and you have fallen into an easy dynamic, and although it’s unusual, your reservations are gone. You’re actually looking forward to spending time with him, and not just because of the way his belly nudges against the waistband of his swimming trunks, or how his accent seems to thicken in the sun.

"Fine,“ you say, "but you’re paying for my tuition if I do end up failing, Miller.“

He grins at you.

#mine #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us part 1 #tlou1 #tlou #pedro pascal #my writing #dbf!joel #older!joel #smut #Joel miller smut #Joel miller fanfiction #dbf!joel miller #tlou fic #my burning sun will someday rise

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drchucktingle · 10 months ago

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autistic expression in a neurotypical art gallery

this morning i thought i would talk about AUTHOR VOICE specifically when it comes to AUTISM. as autistic author i have learned to turn the dial up and down when writing characters. rose from CAMP DAMASCUS is basically exactly where i rest on spectrum and this shows in a few ways

in roses internal monolog you will see that she uses phrases like ‘my friend’ to talk about folks where neurotypical buckaroos might just use first name. or with her parents she will think of them in FIRST NAME instead of ‘mom’ or 'dad’. this is way many autistic buds THINK

to explain this trot I will say it is not a way of disrespect or anything like that, it is simply that these terms are TECHNICALLY all correct and interchangeable. socially, autistic buds often learn to mask by pinpointing WHEN to use these words that logically the same to us.

in CAMP DAMASCUS i left these things in to create character, but if you go back in my writing you will see it. in TINGLERS this is because they are honest in PUNK ROCK way. unfiltered expressions. in earlier novels its admittedly just because i did not realize it was unusual yet

point is, ROSES internal dialog in camp damascus is neurodivergent and i CHOSE not to change her thought process in this way, because we are BOTH autistic. this can be a risk because some neurotypical buckaroos will read it and just think ‘what a strange way. this is bad writing’

camp damascus reviews are actually very good it is a very well received book by any measure, but you will see some folks kind of making fun of these traits (i do not think they would do this if they knew it was authentic autistic way BUT we cannot educate EVERYONE on this trot)

POINT IS i am now faced with an artistic choice in later books. do i write with my AUTISTIC voice even though some neurotypical readers find it awkward? in technical sense some readers WILL think each book is better if i eliminate my autistic tendencies in later edits

my advice is this: character voice IS SO IMPORTANT, but a big part of writing is finding the place between YOUR voice and your CHARACTER voice where both are authentically existing in some way. like acting, you are always bringing something of yourself even when you 'disappear'

when writing BURY YOUR GAYS i did not plan to make misha on the spectrum, but misha is part of me and i am on the spectrum. what i have realized over time is that ALL OF MY CHARACTERS will have these traits in some way because i wrote them, and i will never disappear completely

so when edits came for BURY YOUR GAYS and misha, i took that dial and i turned it farther towards neurotypical than i did with rose, BUT I DID NOT TURN IT OFF COMPLETELY. in literal sense, i left some of those ‘my friends’, because i will always bring MY VOICE to my art as well

i am proud of being on the spectrum. while my voice may not hit every convention of ‘good writing’ it is authentically ‘MY writing’ and i think that is more important than any outside checklist for ‘correct literary expression’. and guess what THE RESULTS ARE IN, MY BOOKS DO WELL

so if you are an artist getting feedback or reviews, consider which parts you can LEARN FROM and grow and change, and which parts are just AUTHENTICALLY YOU. because while your honesty may defy conventions and seem unusual to some folks, IT IS OFTEN WHAT MAKES YOUR ART SING

feel free to turn that dial marked 'YOUR TRUE VOICE' up and down when it makes sense. i do this all the time. but i have long since decided i will never turn that dial OFF completely. your voice is your POWER buckaroo, dont be afraid to sing with it

#writing #actually autistic #chuck tingle #love is real #camp damascus #bury your gays #buckaroo lifestyle #tingleverse #queer horror

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aroaceloverofgarlicbread · 28 days ago

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Okay guess I’m doing a note goal thingy

50: Continue working on my Undertale AU

100: Continue writing on my fantasy novel

200: Tell my parents I suspect I might have autism and ask them to get it checked

250: Try to beat the Pacifist and Vengeance routes of Undertale Yellow

300: Start making a Deltarune AU

400: I'll show you all the very cringe video I've made which is the Ness and Paula battle themes from Deltatraveler with Lyrics

500: Ask my parents if I can buy like some more merch or pins or something of the aroace flag

1000: I’ll make a gimmick blog of some sort (Okay I know we didn't reach this yet but I have made one anyways so like yeah)

2000: I’ll tell you all about the two very cringe story multiverses me and my friends made when we were like 8

2500: I’ll see if I can grow my hair out to be like actually long

5000: Come out as trans to my parents on my birthday (Which is January 29th. If it has not been beaten by then, I’ll do it the year after that instead)

10000: Come out to some of my irl friends as trans

Orange Means Working On It

Green Means Completed

Red means I chickened out and decided not to do it, probably won't happen a lot but yeah, sorryyy

Max 15 notes per person

I am genuinely hoping this doesn’t get 5000 or more but I know it’s better for me if it does, but I might still chicken out on some of these (Specifically the trans and autism related ones and possibly a few others), hopefully not though.

Tagging people is allowed

If I think of any more goals, I might add them

#note goal #reblog bait #rb bait

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coquelicoq · 29 days ago

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how to write a sympathy card

so someone you know recently lost a loved one and you would like to extend your sympathy, but you have no idea what to say. here are some ideas to get the juices flowing. i did not even try to keep this short, so i've broken it up into four sections: general advice, what to include, some example cards i've written, and takeaways.

general advice

first, if you're reading this i'll assume that you have decided to express your sympathy in some way and just don't know how. the thing about doing this is it will always feel inadequate. it will often feel very awkward. you may be worried that everything you say sounds weirdly insincere even if it isn't. i'm here to tell you that that is all okay and normal and to be expected. i've written a lot of sympathy cards and afterwards i've never been like "wow, i nailed it!" and yet i've gotten a lot of comments from people thanking me for showing up even when all i did was send a measly insufficient card, because most people don't do that. it will mean something to the person that you did it at all, even if it's not perfect.

should you send your sympathy in a card or some other method? if you never send mail, if you don't have their address, if you don't even own stamps, maybe sending a card is not for you. but everything below also applies to an email you could send. i personally prefer a card because i like the physicality; it's something they can keep and look at later if they want to, and it's a way of showing a small amount of deliberation and care (i went to the store and picked this out; i sat down and handwrote this). more importantly, i feel like there's less pressure to respond to a card than an email, and a phone call can be overwhelming to someone who is already dealing with a lot of shit, while a card is just there whenever they feel up to looking at it. but that is entirely my own perspective; there are differences culturally as well as personally. you should do what makes sense for you.

do think about what you're trying to accomplish by sending this card. you may not be able to make things better, but you are certainly trying not to make things harder. one example of this might be: if your friend has just lost her mother, you might have a lot of complicated feelings about this that aren't really about your friend or her mother specifically (you also have a mother!), and that's natural and okay, but those feelings would perhaps be best to share with other friends of yours who didn't just lose their mother. another example: it's okay to be worried about your friend and how they're doing, but try not to imply that they owe you updates or that they're causing you a lot of stress by not keeping you in the loop. (of course, if they are instead sharing more with you than you can handle, it's important to set boundaries around that! though probably not through the mechanism of a sympathy card.)

it is okay to keep it really short and generic. again, i think just the act of thinking to get a card, getting a card, writing something in it, and mailing it already means something regardless of what is written in it. if you feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what to say, it is okay to keep it to "I'm thinking of you in this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss." i also sometimes add "I don't know what to say, except that [I'm thinking of you, etc.]."

one thing i've learned that makes this harder is that you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. you may be thinking, "i also lost a parent, so i know how it feels," but you only know how you felt about it. there are infinite ways to feel about losing someone, including:

sadness for the deceased, that their life is over

sadness for themself, that the deceased is gone

sadness for the other people who lost the deceased

fear of their own mortality

fear of dying in the same way

fear of how their life is going to change without the deceased

relief that the deceased is no longer suffering

relief that their caretaking duties are over

relief that the deceased can no longer mistreat them

anger at the deceased for dying or for not doing something before they died

anger at god

anger at others/self for contributing to their death or not saving them

overwhelm from all the logistical things there are to deal with when someone dies

overwhelm from all the emotions

confusion at their own reaction

guilt for outliving the deceased

guilt for not feeling sadder or for feeling other things in addition to sadness (or for being numb/in shock)

this is an incomplete list!!!

i try not to project onto my friend or put words in their mouth, because it can be very isolating to be told how other people think you should feel if that's not exactly how you feel. because you're sending them a sympathy card, there is some baseline assumption that there is something to feel sympathy about. but beyond that i try to be careful not to get super specific about how "you must be feeling" or how hard "this must be". generally i try to avoid the word "must" because it implies that there is a certain way this is supposed to go, when there isn't.

if i know that they are struggling in some way but haven't talked to them much about it, i personally usually feel okay saying "Loss is hard" or "It's hard to lose someone", which might seem similar to "This must be hard", but avoids the word "must" and the direct reference to their situation ("loss" in general vs. "the particular instance of loss you are experiencing"). if i don't know much at all about how they're doing, i might say "Loss can be hard", which presumes even less, or i might not directly mention the difficulty of loss at all.

but also, it's okay to be more specific and personalized if you have been in contact with your friend as they've been processing the situation. it's good to acknowledge specific feelings that they've told you about, but try to also leave room for other feelings and/or ways their feelings might have changed.

what to include

here are some categories of sentiments you may want to include (all optional!):

thinking of you: even though it's kind of self-evident that you're thinking about them, this is something that is always appropriate to say and always nice to hear. examples: You're in my thoughts. I'm thinking of you often.

wishing you comfort/support: comfort and support are very safe things to wish somebody because they don't assume anything very specific about how they're feeling, and they express care for their wellbeing without putting pressure on them to be fine. I hope you can find moments of comfort in the coming days. I hope you're feeling supported by friends and family.

sorry for your loss: this is one of those things everyone knows is a stock phrase, but it's the kind of stock phrase that imo actually communicates something, so i do generally use it. I'm so sorry for your loss.

my heart goes out to you: this stock phrase is a little iffier, meaning it can be kind of a toss-up on whether or not it will sound insincere. it might depend on how close you are to the person. use your discretion. again, even things that sound insincere to you can still mean a lot to the recipient. My heart goes out to you. My heart is with you.

i'm here for you: offer logistical and/or emotional support if you want to and if you're reasonably sure that you could provide it. if you're able to be specific, that can be very helpful; one thing that can be overwhelming in the aftermath of a loss is dealing with lots of people wanting to help and having to come up with ways for them to do that. Please reach out anytime if it would help to talk about it. If you ever need to be distracted, I'm good at that! I'd love to bring over some food/help out with chores and errands; I'll text you to see if that would be helpful and not disruptive.

prayers: if you and the recipient are both religious/spiritual and it feels right to say, you could say "I'm keeping you in my prayers" or similar, in addition to or in lieu of "I'm thinking of you." if you are religious but the recipient isn't (or you're not sure if they are), i suggest not saying this, but use your judgment. some people don't mind hearing that someone is praying for them even if they don't believe in prayer and may in fact expect you to say it if you are known as someone who often expresses care through prayer, but for others, this can be actively offensive. i would say when in doubt, stick to "thoughts" instead of "prayers". You're in my prayers. I'm praying for you.

there are many ways to grieve: this one is harder to describe, but i like to include something that validates whatever the recipient may be feeling, despite not knowing how the recipient is feeling. the downside of a card is that it's not in real time, so you really have no way of knowing how your friend is feeling when they read it, even if you talked to them previously and know how they were feeling during that conversation. so i like to, in addition to not assuming any particular emotions, make space for the fact that their emotions may be shifting in ways that are confusing or distressing. but you have to be kind of vague about it, because you don't even know if that's happening. I hope you have the space to grieve in whatever way you need to/is meaningful for you. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you.

you may want to express your own grief over the loss of this person, if you knew them. i think this can be comforting for the recipient to hear, but i suggest keeping it brief and not overwrought. the last thing you want is for your friend to feel they have to manage your emotions in addition to their own. if you can, do the below instead of or in addition to this.

now i will share my LIFE HACK!! for the very best thing to put in a sympathy card. this will not always be possible, because it relies upon a) you yourself having a relationship with the deceased (which is not always the case) and b) you being able to remember things (which i often cannot, especially when i'm sad). but if you can, i highly suggest something along the lines of the following.

say what you will remember the deceased for. (I will remember them for their wry sense of humor. I will remember them as a compassionate/driven/curious person.)

give an example of a memory you have of them in which they exemplified that characteristic.

if you can't do both, it's also good to do just one and not the other. if you have a favorite memory but it's too hard to think of adjectives to attribute to them, just share the memory. if you tend to think of them as [positive adjective] but no specific evidence is coming to mind, that's okay, this isn't a debate. in general it is comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.

example cards

i will now give some examples of cards i've written. these all feel really awkward and inadequate to me, and you can see i didn't always stick to my own advice! but they were all deeply appreciated.

[to my coworker. i didn't have much detail except knowing her dad had been in the hospital a lot, and she was sad that he died]

I was so sorry to hear about your father. It seems like the last few years have been hard on your family, and loss is especially hard. I hope you are able to take the time you need to be with your family and cherish your memories of him together.

[to my friend's mother after the passing of her husband. i knew from talking to my friend that her mom was struggling especially with outliving him, because she was sick and had expected for a long time to die before him]

I'm thinking about you and [friend's name] a lot. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone is so hard. Adjusting to their absence is, too. I hope that you're finding moment of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. He will be missed. I will remember him for his wry sense of humor; I still have a "card" from him on my fridge (he cut out a sample "thank you" card greeting that said "The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention" from a list of things to write in different kinds of cards (a sample message for a "Get Well Soon" card was on the back, crossed out) and simply added my name at the top and his name at the bottom. It's one of my favorite pieces of mail I've ever received and it's been on my fridge for many years). I am so sorry that he's gone. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you.

[to my close friend and her husband i don't know as well, after a late-term abortion for a baby they had been very excited to raise. in this case i knew some of my friend's feelings, but not her husband's, and while i knew that many things about the pregnancy had been hard (lots of waiting for test results about the viability of the fetus, for one thing), i didn't want to imply that the decision to abort was hard, because my friend said it wasn't]

I'm thinking of you both lots. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. It sounds like it's been a difficult and fraught process, and I hope you're getting space and time to grieve and to come to terms with the loss. I hope you're getting whatever kind of support you need. If there's anything I can do to help, whether logistical or emotional, please let me know. I would love to be of service to you. I wish I knew what to say. You've just had such a fantastically shitty year. I do believe that things will get lighter for you both, and I hope that happens soon. Take care, and know you are cherished.

[to my grandmother after the loss of her estranged brother, when i was extremely unsure how she was feeling about it and had my own complicated emotions]

I just wanted to send you a card to say I'm thinking of you. Mom let me know about Uncle [name]. I know things had been strained for many years and I haven't seen him in a long time, but I'm sorry to hear that he's passed. I hope that you and [grandmother's sister] are able to reminisce in whatever way feels appropriate and meaningful to you. I'm not sure what else to say, other than I'm thinking of you, I love you, and I'm sorry. It was really nice to see you at [family member's] graduation the other day. The next time we're together, I look forward to giving you such a big hug! I feel very lucky to be your granddaughter and to have you in my life.

[to my grandmother after the loss of my 38yo cousin, which was hitting me really hard]

I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to tell you that my heart goes out to you and that I'm thinking of you, and [cousin], and [uncle], and [father], every day. It's so hard to lose someone, and I'm so sorry for your loss. My grief is a strange animal that sneaks up on me at the strangest times. I hope you are finding moments of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. I'm looking forward to the day when I can hug you in person.

[to my close friend on the loss of her father after a long illness. she had been leaning on me for support, as another person who has lost someone after a long illness]

I'm thinking about you lots. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you. Loss is hard even when you know it's coming and even when you get to say goodbye. I hope you are finding comfort and feeling how loved you are. He was a special person, and I'm so sorry he's left you. I know part of him will live on in you and the other people who learned from and admired him. It's still so hard to lose him, and grief is a strange animal. Take care. Reach out anytime. I love you so much.

takeaways

it will probably feel inadequate to you, but chances are it will still be appreciated.

remember that though you may not be able to make things better, you are trying not to make things harder.

it is okay to keep it really short and generic.

you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. there are many ways to grieve. that said, it's nice to acknowledge any specific feelings your friend has expressed to you, while also leaving room for other feelings you may not know about.

if you want to offer support, it can help a lot to be specific in how you are able and willing to help.

it is usually comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.

even if you do it awkwardly, just the act of reaching out is meaningful! people don't know you're thinking about them unless you tell them.

and remember to take care of yourself, too! watching friends lose loved ones can be hard for you as well for a variety of reasons. reach out to other friends for support when you need it.

#grief #support #cards #my posts #long post #unfortunately this has been very relevant this year #i dug this out of drafts because a friend just lost her mom after losing her dad earlier this year. and then her unborn child #what a shitty year she has had. what do you even say? well past me had some advice about this

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erwinsvow · 11 months ago

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𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲

summary: hiding your relationship with rafe from your friends is fun... at first.

word count: 2k

now spinning: freak by lana del rey

author's note: this one put me in a silly mood <3 i love this man <3 so cute it'll rot your teeth! enjoy!

He’s a bad habit. Your worst habit, in fact, one that you hide from everyone like a dirty secret.

At first you’re just embarrassed. You’re supposed to be a Pogue, you try to remind yourself every now and then, you’re supposed to hate him and everything he stands for.

You’re supposed to hate the pretty jewelry he buys for you on a whim, hate the stupid—or something like that— look in his eyes when he puts it on you and presses a kiss to the soft skin of your neck or wrist or ankle, and you’re especially supposed to hate the way he spends money on you.

You’re supposed to hate all of it, but you don’t. In fact, you think you’re falling in love with Rafe Cameron.

Which is bad, so so bad, you don’t even have words to describe how terrible it is. Rafe—who your closest friends despise, and for good reason. He becomes an ass outside of the sheltered, private walls of your tiny bedroom, getting into fights and egging everyone into violence.

He’s completely different, like an entirely new person, and you should hate him for what he does to your friends and goads them into doing.

Hate is the furthest thing from what you actually feel. You’re not even embarrassed anymore. You’re protective, because you know your friends won’t understand, that they’ll try to talk you out of your feelings, and you’ll have to show them the thing that you’re dreading the most of all, that you would defend Rafe to them. That you would take his side.

That you would become that girl you used to make fun of, screaming at your friends because you don’t know him like I do, and then running home, running to him, to feel better.

It’s gotten bad, and to avoid all of this, you don’t bring up your relationship to them at all. What started off as chance encounters and graduated into quiet, peaceful hours spent in each company without another care in the world, has now turned into a real relationship. A secret relationship, at that.

Rafe wants to tell the world, and he especially wants to tell your friends. You convince him that it’s romantic to sneak around, with plenty of hidden kisses and longing gazes and making a fool out of everyone right in front of their eyes.

He buys the act for now, but you know he won’t for long. You think that he wants to rub it into your friends’ faces, that he got you despite how much they hate him. He doesn’t tell you it’s because he has to know, has to be sure that you aren’t ashamed of being with him.

𝜗𝜚

The first time you almost get caught is in Rafe’s truck—parked along the beach, in what was meant to be a cute little date. You pack sandwiches and fruit, freshly squeezed lemonade in a mason jar that you and him pass back and forth.

The two of you watch the sunset from the safety of his car, specifically because you’re worried your friends will catch you if they spot you on the beach with someone.

“This is good,” Rafe says, taking another sip out of the jar, his lips shining with the sugary juice. You want to lick it clean, but you hold off for now. “Where’d you get it from, again?”

“I made it, Rafe,” you reply, rolling your eyes. “We have a lemon tree in the backyard. My parents like to grow their own stuff.”

“Well,” he says, licking his lips. Damn it, there goes your chance to sneak a kiss in and act like it was for some other reason. “You should make more. Shit’s good.”

“Then take me on another date. I’ll make you a whole pitcher.”

“Our next date is gonna be way better than this,” is his response, looking down at his half-eaten, heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

He notices your eyes get big, like you’re upset, and immediately follows up his own sentence.

“Not that this isn’t perfect,” he says, resting the mason jar in the cupholder. “It is. Perfect. Couldn’t ask for more. I just meant, next time, you won’t have to pack anything or juice any lemons, like a restaurant. All you have to do is wear something pretty and show up.”

You smile, giddily.

“You have some lemonade, right there,” you say, pointing to the side of his lip, leaning in for a kiss, just about to close your eyes, when you hear the unmistakable hoot that is your boys, as in your other boys. “Shit-” and you duck, head resting on Rafe’s thigh as you try to get out of their eye-sight. You don’t sit back up until you make Rafe triple-check the coast is clear.

“Y’know, if you wanted to get freaky in my car, all you had to do was ask-”

𝜗𝜚

The next time is a month later, a month of bliss and joy that you still haven’t told your friends about. Rafe came over to help you finish baking lemon squares, but really just creating a mess and kissing you with sugary, citrusy lips and flour-coated hands.

You take turns showering to clean off, because as much as you would love to rinse off together, your shower is not like the one Rafe has in his Tannyhill bedroom, and sadly, barely big enough for one. You go first, washing your hair and complaining about icing remnants, and send Rafe in after you while you dry your hair.

On his way in, he tells you not to get dressed just yet. You sit in anticipation, wrapped just in your towel, brushing your hair absentmindedly. You drop the brush on your foot when you hear three sharp knocks on your bedroom window.

Crap.

When you turn to look, it’s just Kie, and you sigh a breath of obvious relief. You wouldn’t be able to manage lying to everyone, but if it’s just Kiara, you might be able to get away with it.

She climbs in through the window, lying flat on your bed and starting to explain what’s going on—her feelings for Pope and some old feelings for Jayj that are coming to the surface. You half-listen, feeling like a terrible friend, but your heart is currently showering in your tiny bathroom, probably complaining about the luke-warm water and thinking about all the things he’s going to do to you when he gets out.

“Is your shower running?” Kie asks, ever-observant. “Dude, that’s like, so bad for the environment.”

“Oh, I-” your brain turns to mush. “I just stepped out to brush my hair, I’m going right back in. I’m so sorry Kie, I’m so distracted today. You know, I-I hate wasting water.” You stare at her for a second, wondering if she bought it.

“I’m just glad you care. JJ and John B don’t even recycle their beer cans. I’ll come back later, then?” and you nod, maybe a little too excited. “Are you gonna finish showering now?” she questions, watching you linger by the door.

“Yes! Yes, I am. Bye, Kie,” you say, opening the door and closing it quickly, hoping Rafe doesn’t speak up. You drop the towel and climb into the shower, clasping your hand over his mouth quickly. You wait to hear your window close, and then the noise of her car driving away.

“Y’know, kid, if you were feeling that impatient, all y’had to do was tell me,” Rafe says, leaning in for a hot, wet kiss.

𝜗𝜚

It all breaks down because JJ is like a walking metal detector, eyes flitting to anything shiny and new and the questions never-ending, even when you’re glaring at him.

Rafe bought it for you. A gleaming, pretty silver bracelet with a little pink heart hanging off, complete with the letter R engraved on the back of the charm. You try to sneak it in with your other bracelets, the beaded ones Kie makes, the thread friendship bracelets all of you share in matching colors, and you even throw on a watch just so no one notices something new on your wrist. It doesn’t work.

“Wow,” JJ starts, letting out a whistle. You freeze instantly. “What’d you do, rob a Kook and not invite us?” He comes up closer, taking your wrist in his hand and raising it above and below, inspecting it.

“No, no…” you trail off, mind going completely blank on how to explain this to your friends. All you can think about is the soft way Rafe kissed your wrist while helping you put it on, and the not-so-soft two hours you spent at Tannyhill after. “I, uh-”

“What, you found it?” Pope throws in, and you start to nod, even though your friends know you better than that. “Because you should really turn it in, I mean, they’ll get you for that-”

“Trust me, I would know,” John B says, coming around to look at it closer. “I feel I’ve seen that before.”

“Yeah, I bet all the Kook princesses have ‘em and compare with each other.” JJ puts on a goofy, high pitched voice that would normally make you laugh. “Mine’s silver. Mine’s gold. Actually, guys, mine’s encrusted with diamonds.”

“You know how much child labor funds the entire jewelry industry? They have kids mining in caves-”

“But that would actually make sense, Kie, because, like, they’re so tiny they’re the only ones who can just like, sneak on in there with their little tools, and just like-” JJ imitates, what you can only assume, is a child mining for gold with his hands.

“They can grow diamonds in labs now. It’s so unnecessary and dangerous,” Kie says, looking back at you. “We should burn it, so it goes back into the soil.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” JJ says, getting up and putting himself between you and Kie, like a barrier. “Why would we do that? We could probably go get a couple hundos for that thing. Y’know how much beer we can buy with that?”

“He’s got a point there,” John agrees. You’re speechless.

“Well, does it have any markings? Because if we just return it, the owner might give us a reward for finding it.” JJ scoffs.

“Yeah, right, they’d probably think we stole it.”

“Well, we did, that’s like the definition of-” you cut Pope off before you can stop yourself.

“I didn’t steal it!” It comes out like a yell, even though you don’t mean it, running a hand through your hair in frustration. “I didn’t steal it, okay, it’s mine, so can we please just drop it?”

You notice the boys lock eyes with each other, eyes wide, probably wondering what just happened. You turn away from them to look at Kie, about to apologize because you know she’s totally right about the whole child mining thing, when you see her eyes are fixed on your wrist.

“R?” she questions. “What’s the R stand for?”

You drop your hand to your side, eyes shutting on their own as you release a tight breath. You really have no idea how to get yourself out of this one, until a voice pipes up from behind you.

“Why don’t you idiots take a wild guess?” The voice belongs to your boyfriend, your secret boyfriend. You guess it’s not such a secret anymore.

JJ is the first to react, exactly like you thought he would, too.

“No, no, gross, gross!”

John B stares at you like you’ve just run over his puppy. Kie has her eyebrows raised like she’s questioning everything she ever knew about you. Pope’s eyes are wide like coins, fist clenched like he’s about to start swinging.

You let out another breath.

“Was that really necessary?” you ask, turning your head to question Rafe, standing right behind you, his arm hanging around your shoulder now.

“Had to tell ‘em eventually, kid. Guess today’s the day,” and then he uses his hand to squeeze your cheeks together, giving you a sloppy kiss and waltzing off in the direction he came from.All you hear is JJ—gross, gross, gross!

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #obx #outer banks #eeeee hope everyone likes!!!

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johannesviii · 3 months ago

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Nearly every time I've rewatched Infinity Train Book 3 since I first saw it in February, I saw more parallels and narrative echos, and infodumping my friends about them isn't enough anymore

I figured I should do a post about this one because I don't think I've seen a post about that specific thing yet, and I love this show's writing, and. idk. I just need to praise it I guess

So, the most obvious part first:

Grace became everything she hated about her parents

When Grace mentions her mother in the Debutante Ball Car, it's made pretty clear she's trying to distance herself from her mother as much as possible, and at this point, we realise retrospectively that Grace's room in the Mall Car in episode one was full of sports clothes - it seems she tries to avoid things reminding her of her life before the train. And of her mother. And yet-

She tries to control everyone and everything around her, and makes people do what she doesn't want to do

And she decides what's cool and what isn't

She makes people kneel in her presence, like her mother towers over her in her mind's eye

Obviously she constantly lies to get what she wants, and her dad does that in her tape

When her younger self looks up, she looks right through adult Grace, and it's actually her parents she's looking at! Her younger self is metaphorically seeing her parents where her adult self is standing!! I still can't get over this shot

Also I feel the need to mention her mother has the same voice actor as her in her tape and even if it might be to cut corners in the budget, that feels significant (and to be fair, sometimes you can cut corners while making meaningful choices at the same time)

Now you might think I'd have nothing to say about Simon on that matter, since we don't see any flashback of his life before the Train, and we know next to nothing about his parents. But I think it's very telling that the only actual backstory we get for him is his backstory with The Cat.

Because-

Simon became everything he hated about The Cat

Ok I never see anyone mentioning this, but hear me out

First, we have no idea if Simon knew The Cat was routinely invading people's privacy through their memory tapes, but he sure has no issue doing the exact same thing

But that doesn't stop there. He also collects things obsessively

And makes kids collect things for him as well, by the way

He thinks he's above others, but he immediately switches to victim mode when it comes back to bite him

HE. ABANDONS. A CHILD. WHO WAS UNDER HIS CARE!!

And. Uh. They both dig their heels instead of trying to change, too

Don't get me wrong, on some level I would have liked to know what Simon's parents were like too. I would have liked that a lot. But there's a good chance it wouldn't change anything, because everything we need to know about his background to understand why he's Like That™ is already in the show

But yeah, Grace and Simon both pretend they found freedom on the Train, and both distance themselves from parental figures who are at the source of their trauma, claiming they're different and better than them - and yet they are both subconsciously repeating patterns that caused at least part of their problems and/or trauma in the first place

And since they decided that making numbers go up was good, as long as they stick to that idea, they are bound to never escape from that self-perpetuating loop of harm and trauma

And I love it

And I hate it

#infinity train #grace monroe #simon laurent #samantha infinity train #this has been in my drafts since May

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chocochipsushi · 5 months ago

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𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲

NSFW! minors do not interact! 18+ only!

🌸Word count: 8.3K

🌸AU: Toji, your father’s best friend, finally gets to call you his in public

🌸CW: cockwarming, public sex, exhibitionism/voyeurism, unprotected sex, light slapping (just once), indecisive (kinda psycho imo) y/n, fluff

🌸A/N: The final piece to this series!! I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did. thank you for all the support, especially since it was technically my first series here.

<< Part 1 🔞, Part 2 🔞, Part 3 🔞, Part 4 🔞

“Toji!” I squeal, throwing myself onto his hot body that’s been exposed to the sun for a while now.

I hear my mother clicking her tongue. “Jesus, honey!”

As Toji pulls his sunglasses up to squint at me, his other hand rests on my waist. Even with the furrow between his brows, his lips are slightly tilted in an affectionate smile.

I grin down at him. “Hi.”

“Hey, sugar.”

My heart races at the pet name but I reach out to slap his shoulder in embarrassment anyway. As my parents get closer, I get off Toji to snuggle into his side, resting my head on his warm shoulder and my hand on his chest. He slides his arm around my waist to hold me closer to him.

“How was the drive down?” Toji asks my father as my parents set up their beach chairs next to his empty chair.

Smushing my cheek on the ball of his shoulder, I get myself comfortable snuggling with Toji. He rubs my waist affectionately while he listens to my father complain about the traffic.

“Do you want your chair next to Mum?” My father pauses in his reply to Toji just to ask me. Though he knows what my answer would be already anyway, because he stares at Toji and me for a second before he rolls his eyes, “Why did I even ask?”

I laugh as my mother passes him my beach chair to place it next to Toji’s.

That eventful brunch that happened a few months ago ended awkwardly, to say the least. Toji brought me out for a drive after and explained what had happened between him and my father. In short, my father was skeptical but didn’t disapprove. He just needed some time to get used to the idea. Which Toji really helped with. He came over a lot, conditioning my parents to be comfortable with seeing him more, especially to accustom them to his lingering touches. Over time, they warmed up to the idea, and stopped skirting around the topic that Toji and I were dating. We still keep it down low, not wanting to scare my parents with our PDA. We don’t kiss with my parents around, and he doesn’t stay over at our home.

My father and Toji had to do some explaining to their friends, specifically around the argument that Toji basically watched me grow up (which was put down when they explained that that was technically not true since he was out of the country from when I was nine, all the way till I was 24). They accepted the relationship way faster than my parents did, some even swearing that they thought we would have been a better match if I was born earlier or Toji later. But I guess it helps that Toji, despite being my father’s best friend, is a few years younger than my dad, and not to mention that my dad had me when he was only barely 21. My parents weren’t really good with their planning and I always teased them for it.

“We got some beer, too,” my father announces to Toji as he points to the ice box next to him. “Ice cold.” He winks.

Immediately, Toji sits up, making me slide off his body while his arm that had been around me falls away. I watch Toji reach out a begging hand.

“Thank God. The heat is insane.”

My parents laugh. My dad passes him a can and the both of them crack their beers open at once. They bump their drinks before taking long, thirsty gulps. While I watch them, I subtly snake my leg around Toji’s, almost using him as a bolster. After almost inhaling half the can of beer, he turns around and offers me the drink. I shake my head. It’s not even noon yet, and I don’t think I would like to be drunk by four in the afternoon.

Propping my head on the palm of my hand, I lay on my side as I stare at Toji’s back, observing the hard lines and curves of his muscles moving with every little movement he makes. I don’t know how long I have been watching him, but he turns to me a while later when his conversation with my father has come to a standstill. He stares for a while before he brings up his sunglasses to sit on top of his head, at the same time brushing his hair back.

“Wanna soak in the sun, Princess?”

I smile. Holding my hand out, I say, “Yes, but you have to help me with the sunscreen.”

Toji takes my hand at once and pulls me to sit up. “Of course,” he promises.

So I take off my sundress, leaving myself in a two-piece bikini. I fold it nicely and put it into my bag, only to turn back to Toji to see him ogling at me with dark, mesmerised eyes. It makes me smile, knowing just how much this rock-like personality can be so expressive only when it comes to me. I take my sunscreen out of my bag and hold it out to him, which he takes, slowly. He is still staring at me.

“You can do my back, Toji,” I chirp, immediately flopping to lie down on my stomach.

He doesn’t respond and doesn’t do anything for a while. Then I hear the cap of the sunscreen bottle opening and I get myself comfortable.

Toji’s hands are warm and rough, but so gentle and careful as they spread the lotion on my back. He is slow in his caress, almost like he wants to savour this moment, and I am enjoying it so much that I can already feel myself trying to fight off the brain fog. He even goes under the strings of my top piece, making sure that every inch of my skin is covered.

And when he gets to my lower half, Toji shifts himself to kneel next to my hip where he lathers the cream down the back of my thighs and calves slowly. He makes sure to get my ankles too. But I have to snap my eyes open to look at my dad when Toji goes back up where he spreads the lotion on my ass cheeks, even sliding his fingers under the hem of my bikini to make sure he has covered all grounds.

My father glances over then, making my heart pound and my body hot for a whole second before he looks away. I glance down at Toji and realise that he has situated himself so strategically that his broad back would be shielding my parents from the view of Toji fondling my ass.

I suck in a breath and purse my lips as I turn my head to the other side when Toji starts sliding his hands between my inner thighs. His touch and caress are sensual as he rubs in the lotion, making me feel so many things at the pit of my stomach. He rubs his calloused hands up and down my inner thighs, his thumbs slipping under my bikini piece to give me the full experience of his fondling as he massages the meat of my pussy in circles.

I am biting hard on my bottom lip when I lift my head and crane my neck to gape at Toji, who is already watching me. As if that is the exact thing he wanted, his lips stretch into an naughty smirk and he finally takes his hands off of me. He takes the bottle of sunblock and chucks it next to me.

“Princess can do her front on her own.”

I watch in disbelief as he gets up, dusts himself off, and goes to take his seat in his beach chair next to my dad. They are already in conversation as they crack open another beer, and I am left hot and bothered on Toji’s beach towel.

A little bit annoyed and very much frustrated, I flip onto my back and sit up, aggressively grabbing and opening my bottle of sunscreen. I am probably not as thorough as Toji is in lathering me up, but I can blame him for starting something he knows he cannot finish, leaving me wanting more. Once I am done, I throw my sunblock into my bag and go back to lying down, grabbing my own towel in my bag to throw over my face.

I can hear my parents and Toji talking about how busy the beach is, how nice the weather is, and how long they haven’t been anywhere close to open waters. Taking in a deep breath, I drown out the conversation happening next to me, soon feeling peaceful and ready to take my nap.

I don’t know how long later, but I wake up briefly to flip onto my stomach when I am aware of the sweat on my body. I rest my cheek on my hands and easily go back to napping again despite the cacophony at the beach. I am still in my half-conscious state, taking in all the sounds around me, when I feel a warm, wet hand on my ass and a tickle on my cheek.

As I slowly wake up from the fogginess in my head, I feel a kiss pressed to my cheek, water droplets now on my skin. I hum and nuzzle my cheek on the back of my hand even more.

“You look so good, baby,” Toji’s husky murmur warms my face as he presses another kiss to my cheek. He kneads my ass, his thumb playing with the hem of my bikini.

“Wherem’re p’rents?” I mumble sleepily.

“They went back to the car to get something.” Toji leans back away from my face now, though his calloused palm is still fondling my asscheek. “You guys parked far?”

I hum as I think, though I just end up almost dozing off again so I lift my shoulders slightly to tell him that I don’t know. Toji tsks and slaps my ass lightly before leaning down again close to my face.

“Give me a kiss, baby,” he murmurs.

I turn my head and pucker my lips, though my eyes are still shut. Toji presses a long and firm kiss on my pillows and I feel him give me one last caress to my ass before getting up, probably going back to his beach chair again.

This time, when I try to go back to sleep, I find it hard to fully stay unconscious. So I attempt at continuing my nap for the next 10 minutes before flipping onto my back. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I turn to the side where Toji is still sitting alone, looking all intimidating, topless in his beach chair, the water droplets on his body glistening in the sunlight, his semi-wet hair in clumps. As if hypersensitive to my movements, he tilts his head to take a peek at me over his sunglasses.

“My parents?” I wonder groggily, my voice hoarse and slurred.

The corners of his lips turn down slightly as he pushes up his sunnies again. “Dunno.”

I take a second to shut my eyes again and inhale a deep breath to wake myself up. Toji is already watching the beach goers again when I sit up, his arms resting comfortably on the arm rests, his one hand holding a beer can.

I get up and rest my palm on his shoulder, making him look up at me as I move to sit on his lap, his wet boardshorts already sticking to my skin. Immediately, he moves his hands out of the way so that I am situated between his legs, sitting nicely on his thigh. Toji circles his arms around me for a second to transfer his drink to the other hand so that he could rest his cool palm on my waist.

“You went into the waters, Toji?” I wonder as I play with his bangs.

He hums in reply. That’s a yes. “Had a nice nap, Princess?” I nod to his husky murmur. He grunts and kneads my flesh gently. “Don’t wanna sit in your own chair?”

I shake my head and shift myself until I am leaning into him, my face in close proximity to his. “You’re more comfortable.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re making me lose my shape from eating all your leftovers,” Toji teases as he flicks the underside of my chin. He brings his hand down to rest on my lap now.

“So you have a literal dad bod.” He doesn’t, but I grin at him cheekily anyway.

He clicks his tongue and scowls at me, though I know he means it jokingly. Wrapping an arm around his nape, I lean into him and rest my head in the crook of his neck, half-crossing my legs so I can be closer to him. The man sets his beer can back into the cup holder of his chair so he could rest his palm on the curve of my ass. I am enjoying the nice breeze when I feel his hand caressing my mound, his fingers lining and toying with the hem of my bikini bottom. It only makes me hum in content as I move to stick my ass out more, giving Toji more to hold in his hand.

Taking that as a good sign, he curls his fingers under the fabric and starts stroking my skin with the back of his digits. I lift my head slightly to kiss him on his neck. Toji’s other hand that had been on my lap slithers to wedge itself between my legs, his thumb rubbing a spot on my inner thigh.

“Toji…” I try to murmur as a warning, except it comes out breathy and sultry.

His chest rumbles beneath me as he hums. “Hmm? You alright, baby?”

I decide to stay quiet and nod my head, wanting to see what Toji would do next. Not at all to my surprise, he starts inching closer to my crotch, finally rubbing the back of his thumb on my clothed pussy. I cannot help but to rub my thighs together, at the same time allowing Toji to push the crotch of my bikini aside, the back of his thumb sliding between my lips. Forcing his thumb between my legs, he manages to find my lips gradually being lubricated with my juices. He hums in satisfaction, having found what he wants.

Using his knuckle to rub and tease my lips open, he slides his thumb up and down my slit. He finds his way back up to my clit, smearing the little nub with my cum. Toji tilts his head to press a kiss to my hair, almost like a sweet gesture, before rubbing my engorged clit with the knuckle of his thumb. I sink my teeth down on my bottom lip as I cling onto my boyfriend, my nails digging into his flesh. Toji slips his other hand away from my ass, only to give me a light slap to my ass cheek. As if to soothe me from the sudden jerk my body did, he caresses my waist, running his rough palm up and down my side.

I widen my legs just a little, giving Toji more access to my pussy and at the same time trying to feel up his erection unsuccessfully. Frustrated by the space restraint for my thigh to be rubbing on his tent, I take a hand away from around his neck and rest my palm on top of his cock, feeling just how warm and hard the bulge in his boardshorts is. Experimentally, I give his erection a stroke. Toji lets out a low groan.

Dipping his hand deeper between my legs, he finds my pussy now seeping with my juices. Squeezing my thigh with his hand, he teases my entrance with his thumb by rubbing my hole before slipping his finger inside of me. I moan at the sensation of his rough digit in my cunt, my hand on his crotch squeezing the rock hard tent in his shorts. Toji moves his thumb in and out of me slowly, fingerfucking me at the beach where my parents are soon coming back to.

Suddenly reminded of my parents, I widen my eyes and still my body. Toji feels how stiff I have gotten and stops what he is doing. He dips his head so that his lips are brushing my forehead.

“Everything okay, Princess?”

I move on his lap so that I am properly clinging onto him now and my head is right next to his. I squint into the distance and spot my parents walking back with bags in their hands. Feeling Toji slipping his finger out of me, I quickly turn away and grab hold of his wrist, keeping him there. He looks at me worriedly. But I give him a sweet smile and lean in to give him kisses on his lips.

“Keep going, Toji,” I murmur softly, sultrily.

He doesn’t need to be told twice. Rubbing the length of his finger along my puffy lips, Toji leans in to kiss the spot below my ear. “You’re getting wetter, Princess,” he whispers, his hot breath tickling my earlobe.

Seeing my parents getting closer, I bravely whisper back, “Wanna put it in, Daddy?”

Toji is always a daredevil when it comes to sex, but I know that he would never agree to this if he had known that my parents are returning. However, since he can’t see them from where he is sitting, he readily agrees by taking his hand out of my bottom and pushing me gently off his lap. As I get off him, I bend over to grab his towel, only to suddenly receive a slap to my ass. I hear Toji let out a needy groan behind me.

As I spread out the towel to drape over the lower half of my body, Toji pulls me closer by the hip before pushing aside the crotch of my bikini bottom. I lower myself slowly until I feel his tip poking between my lips. Shimmying my hips to fit his cockhead between my folds, Toji squeezes my waist and pulls me back slowly, allowing me to take his size in. Toji groans, and I don’t even need to turn around to know that he probably has his eyes shut and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He always enjoys the first time he enters me.

I am still getting myself adjusted to his girth as I slowly take in his cock when my mother shouts my name, sounding just a few metres away from us now. “We got ice cream!”

Immediately, I freeze and my entire body goes cold. Toji, always the one that takes care of everything, tightens his hold on my waist and curses under his breath as he pulls me to sit down, completely taking him in now. I let out the most pornographic moan and Toji lets himself enjoy my pulsing tightness with a low groan before he gathers me quickly towards him. He carries my legs and brings them to rest on his thighs so that I am sitting on him, facing slightly to the side.

“Daddy—”

“Shh, baby,” Toji hisses, now making sure his towel covers our connected parts well.

I turn to give him a pout for the tone he used with me. He cups my chin and pulls me in almost roughly in his haste, giving me a quick apology on my lips. It is an unexpected but heart-fluttering act that has my pussy throbbing around Toji’s meat. Embarrassed, I lean into his chest and rest my head on his shoulder, hiding my face in his neck. A few seconds later, my parents finally join us again, this time with a few bags in their hands. Toji squeezes my waist as he turns to them.

“Got more beer,” my father announces with a grin, lifting the bag in his hand.

“Good, ‘cause this was the last one,” Toji says as he presents the can in his hand.

“And we got ice cream,” my mother says as she fishes out my favourite ice cream from her bag and holds it out to me.

I gasp and move away from Toji. “Thank you!” I am so excited that I have a hand on Toji’s abs, pushing myself up slightly to reach out for the ice cream bar.

Toji’s body tenses up, especially when I sit back down with the ice cream in my hand. I turn to him and see him widening his eyes slightly at me in warning. I give him an embarrassed giggle. Holding the ice cream out to him, he takes it and opens it before giving it back to me.

“You went into the water, Toji?” my dad asks as he plops down on his chair with a new can of beer.

Toji takes one last sip of his and crushes up the metal cylinder in his hand. He hums. Before my mother returns to her own chair, she passes Toji a new can of beer. He opens it and takes a long swig of the golden liquid.

“Yeah. It’s nice,” he finally answers.

My dad glances at me, realising that my body is not wet. “You didn’t go?”

I shake my head. Before I get to reply, Toji mutters, “She was napping the entire time. Just woke up a few minutes ago, this Princess.”

“She slept on the drive down here, too,” my father mutters.

Toji clicks his tongue. I stare up at him and he gives me a mock scolding look. “Sleepyhead,” he says, smacking the side of my thigh.

My pussy clenches around Toji’s cock, making me blush when my boyfriend starts caressing the spot he abused, his eyes dark on me. My father stands up and takes his singlet off. He turns to his wife next to him.

“Shall we go in the waters too, honey?”

My mother immediately takes off the skirt she is wearing so she is in her bathing suit. She agrees, “It’s so hot today.”

Toji looks up at the two of them standing and says, “The water’s cool so you’ll like it.”

“You two want to come?” my father invites.

Toji lets me answer for us, to which I shake my head. He turns to my dad and promises, “We’ll take good care of the beer.”

“The only person I’m worried about getting to the beer is you, Toji,” my father teases. Then, he calls out to my mother and they both start towards the sea.

Now that it is just the two of us, I move away from the hard wall of muscles to look at my boyfriend. His eyes immediately flicker down to my lips where I am giving my ice cream kitten licks. As I start to say something, he pulls me towards him with a hand on my nape, his lips already on mine. I spread my lips as I let a moan into his mouth. Toji’s tongue slips between my pillows and hums when he tastes the sweetness on my tongue. He kisses me with hot passion, with overwhelming love, with gentle caresses. By the time he breaks the kiss, I am heady and dazed from the kiss, my pussy probably slobbering all over his meat. He brushes my hair away from my face as he slides his hand along my cheek, finally leaving his hand cupped around the back of my neck and his thumb resting behind my ear.

He presses a kiss to my forehead and places his chin on top of my head, my face now buried in the crook of his neck. I can feel the rumble of low voice reverberating through his chest as he murmurs, “Naughty girl. You knew they were coming, didn’t you?” I don't say anything. After all, how do I lie to someone who knows me even more than I do myself? Toji rubs my arm. “Today’s a nice day, huh, baby?”

I nod my head. Toji is quiet as he watches the people on the beach. After a few moments, I move away from his body and frown, “Aren’t you going to touch me?”

He looks at me over his sunglasses, a teasing look in his eyes. “Huh. Aren’t you a little daredevil?”

I whine and pout, so Toji rests his warm, heavy palm on my collarbone, caressing me gently as he moves his hand closer to my chest. He leans in to drop a kiss on my shoulder, at the same time prodding me in a different spot with his cockhead as he moves closer to me.

“So many people are watching, sugar,” he mutters, now lining kisses across my neck like an invisible necklace. His hand drops to my tits now, brushing his knuckles on my mounds, over and over. “And this is a kid-friendly beach.”

I tilt my head back with a low moan when he starts making out with the side of my neck, right where he can feel my pulse pounding against my skin. He is fondling, almost playing with my tits now. If it weren’t for the heat of the sun, I would have thought we were in the confines of a private space. Attempting to fight against the tantalising pleasure Toji is swallowing me up in, I dig my fingernails into his skin as I grasp onto his bicep.

“Toji… Daddy…” When he wouldn't stop, I have to swallow that haze clouding my mind and snap in a terse voice, “Toji.”

Finally, he lets go of my skin with a dissatisfied groan and drops his hand to my lap. His cock is twitching between my soaked walls, harder than he has ever been. I lift his sunglasses to rest them on top of his head. His dark eyes are on mine, almost begging.

“You asked me to touch you, sweetheart.”

Is he whining?

I bite back a smile. “I know, I’m sorry. I didn't mean it.” He gives me another pleading look. He looks very stupidly cute for a grown ass man who is pouting. “Heat of the moment and all that.”

Toji lets rip a loud groan, his final tantrum thrown as he crashes his forehead against my collarbone. “Fucking cock tease,” he grumbles under his breath.

I slap his bicep as I pout at him, to which he only rolls his eyes. I whine and move towards him to kiss him on the lips as an apology. “You weren’t going to fuck me here anyway,” I say, except it comes out more as a question than a statement.

“Oh, I was, honey. Have I ever denied you of anything you ever wanted?” I think about it, and with a pink tinge on my cheeks, I shake my head. Toji sighs. “Whatever. You’ll just have to cockwarm me until I’m soft again.”

I laugh because that is never going to happen. But I indulge him as I nod, leaning in to drop a kiss on his cheek. Toji leans back and takes a long sip of his beer. I go back to finishing my melting ice cream. Toji’s other hand caresses my back absentmindedly, his fingertips drawing lazy circles.

“Toji,” I complain. He isn't helping the situation.

He darts confused eyes to me. “What?” I let out a louder whine when he rubs my waist cajolingly. He is even more puzzled now. “What, baby?”

“Your hand!” I finally groan.

Toji quickly removes his hand from my body, lifting it in the air in a surrender. “Didn't know you didn't want to be touched at all. Sorry.”

Another groan immediately comes out of me as I throw myself at him, burying my face in his neck. He isn't sure what to do, especially when I’d just scolded him for touching me. But I blindly grab his wrist and slap his palm on my back. So he strokes me gently, almost carefully. He sets down the beer in his other hand to brush my hair behind my ear so he could drop a kiss on my temple.

“You alright, Princess? The sun too hot for you?” I shake my head. “Hungry?” Another shake of my head. “Tired—? No way, you slept so much. Thirsty?”

I finally give up and lift my head off his collarbone to whisper in his ear, “I’m horny, Daddy.”

“Jesus, baby,” Toji curses, his body relaxing against me, his hand now comfortably rubbing my back. “I thought you were mad at me.” When I huff and rest my cheek on his shoulder unhappily, he asks, “Can’t even wait till we get to the beach house to settle down for the night?” I shake my head. Even if we did get back to the beach house, my parents would be there, cockblocking me from getting fucked real good. “What should we do then? Hide behind some trees?”

I lift my head with a hopeful look at that idea, which only receives a disbelief chuckle from him. I moan when he gives me a light, teasing slap to my cheek, my gummy walls fluttering at his gently mean action. Is he trying to drive me nuts?

“Not happening, sweetheart,” he states, still smiling, obviously enjoying how much of a spineless slut I become when I am horny. “I have a better idea.”

I am asked to get off of him, much to my dismay and annoyance. But he promises me that I would have my way as long as I am a good girl for him, which I am, though with some sulking.

Toji packs up our things and tells me to wait there while he looks for my parents. I watch him cross the beach, observing the way women are noticing him. It makes me so smug that this man is mine, especially when he walks back to me with a cheeky smile and takes my hand in his. He picks up our belongings and walks me to his car.

We’re off as soon as he keeps everything in the boot, heading off towards the beach house where we would be staying for the night. He reaches over to place his hand on my knee, massaging my inner thigh sensually. I lift my legs to rest my feet on the dashboard.

“What did you tell my parents?” I wonder as I watch his hand creep closer to my core, his veiny hand slipping under my sundress.

“That you’re cranky and moody, so I had to bring you back.” I whine and smack his arm, though he merely chuckles. His hand finally reaches my crotch. He rubs my pussy over the fabric of my bikini and I eagerly spread my legs. Toji slides my swimwear aside to swipe the tip of his finger along my lips, only to curse. “Fuck, Princess. You’re so fucking wet.”

Sliding two fingers inside me easily, he pumps me slowly with his digits, allowing me to rock my hips against his thrusting motions. I move to press my cheek against his arm as I let out sensual moans. At every stop light, Toji leans in to kiss me, the both of us making out until the car behind him has to honk to make him move on a green light. I have to take several deep breaths as I watch Toji lick his lips and swipe the corners of his mouth with his fingers, his other hand still playing with my wet pussy.

By the time we are parked outside the beach house we are staying at for the night, Toji is bricked up so hard that he throws me over the shoulder the moment I get out of the car and storms his way into the accommodation. He fumbles with unlocking the door for so long that he almost has to break down the door. But once we are inside, Toji wastes no time. He throws me on the couch and I grin at him as I wiggle out of my bikini bottoms. Throwing the fabric at my boyfriend playfully, Toji catches it and presses it to his nose, giving it a long and good sniff.

He lets out a long moan, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Then, he sets his lustful gaze on me, throws my panties to the ground, and stalks over to me like a predator. With his hands on my bent knees, he slides them under my thighs as he drops himself on the couch, crouching as he lifts my legs to rest them on his shoulders. I have to hold my breath as I watch his face get closer to my pussy.

He glances up at me through his bangs and with those eyes still on mine, he swipes his tongue slowly along my wet lips. I shudder in pleasure, longing for some dopamine release. Toji readjusts his position to a comfortable one as he drops a line of kisses on my pussy. Then, he takes my puffy lips in his mouth, almost like he is making out with my cunt, his tongue digging between my folds and flicking at my hole over and over. My hands fall to his black locks, my fingers grasping around his soft strands as I arch my back in pleasure, my toes pointed and pressing into his shoulders.

“Oh, Toji…” I whimper when the man enters a finger into my hole, pumping my wet pussy slowly while his mouth sucks gently on my clit.

It feels so good being touched and pleasured like this, but I want more. I’ve been waiting since the beach and I don’t have the patience for foreplay right now. Tugging on Toji’s locks, I separate my boyfriend’s face from my pussy just enough to get his attention. My throat closes at the sight of the bottom half of Toji’s face glistening with my juices. He licks his lips, frowning in confusion at me.

“Fuck me, Daddy,” I whine. Taking a hand off his head, I point to the door-to-ceiling windows facing the quiet beachfront.

Toji quirks an eyebrow at me. “On the balcony, baby?”

It wasn’t what I had in mind but I still think about it. I shake my head. “Against the window.”

He leans back a little, surprised that I am actually being serious. “You want people to see?”

Moving so that I’m no longer lying on the couch, I flip around to get on all fours as I stare out at the beach facing our residence. “There’s no one,” I reply softly. Toji can’t help but to drop his head to latch his mouth on my ass, sucking and kissing my flesh, while his hand fondles with my other cheek. I look back to see him watching me. So I ask again, “Against the window, Daddy?”

He finally lets go of my mound. As he drops a kiss on my ass, he stands and leans over me, his sturdy arm wrapping around my waist to carry me off the sofa. He sets me on the ground and presses his lips to my ear to murmur, “Anything for my kinky little princess.”

Tapping on my butt, he urges me forward. While I walk over to the window, I turn around to see Toji pulling his cock out of his shorts. Feeling my heart jumping in my chest, I quickly turn back around to press up against the window and perk my ass out. Toji grabs my hip while his other hand reaches out to slap his meat on my ass cheek. Eager to finally be satisfied, I push my ass out even more. Toji lets out a low groan.

Before he does anything, he leans down to press a kiss on my back. Then, he traces my ass crack with his cock and finally meets my throbbing pussy with his tip. We’re both groaning as he rubs his cockhead up and down my slit, coating his meat with my juices before he fits his tip between my lips, perfectly at the entrance of my cunt.

With a hand on my hip and the other on my shoulder, he holds me there as he sheaths into me slowly. Toji lets out a long groan as his fingers tighten their grip on me. I just know that he is putting in a lot of effort not to ram into me completely. The moment he is entirely buried inside of me, Toji wraps his arms around my body, pressing me to him. Always wanting to be as close to me as possible every time we fuck, he snuggles his face into the crook of my neck.

“Fuck, you’re so wet and warm around me, Princess,” he groans into my skin. “So fucking good…”

I let out a deep breath and place my hand over one of his. Sliding it down my body, I position his hand at my crotch. “Gonna fuck me, Daddy?” I pull his finger to rest on my clit. “Make me squirt all over your cock?”

“Fuck, baby,” he swears. He adjusts his stance and grips my hip tightly with one hand. “I’m going to ruin your pussy,” is all he says before he starts ramming into me like a dog in heat.

With his other hand on my crotch, he begins rubbing at my swollen pearl, making me mewl and moan like a slut. I press my fingers into the glass window as I rock my hips, at the same time slamming my ass back against Toji’s cock every time he sheathes into me. The male lets out low, feral groans with every thrust, clearly relieved now that he is finally relieving all that sexual tension stored inside of him.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby. I’m going to cum,” Toji growls. “Gonna put a fuckin’ baby in you, Princess. Fuck,” he curses. Feeling my tightening walls, he chuckles breathily. “Yeah? You like the idea of that, sweetheart? Wanna be knocked up by me, huh, d’ya Princess?”

I whine in embarrassment. The house is filled with the sticky, loud sound of Toji’s hips slapping against my ass every time he pounds into me. It is hot, and honestly so dirty that I can’t help but feel sexier.

So I crawl my hands down the window slowly, until my ass is sticking up in the air and my back arch is so visible Toji groans and leans down to drag his nails over my skin, leaving red marks in his wake. Taking his hand away from my clit, he cups my ass cheek and kneads my flesh.

“Oh, fuck, baby girl,” he moans, almost whining. His hand on my ass squeezing hard. “I’m cumming, baby. Daddy’s going to cum,” Toji grunts out.

With his both hands now gripping onto my waist, he makes one final thrust into my soaking cunt and holds my hips pressed up against his cock as he shoots his seeds far and deep into my womb. He moans and whines my name the whole time, almost as if to ground himself. His hips twitch a few times as he empties more of his seeds inside of me.

Finally, when his breathing slows down and his moans turn into grunts, I lift myself up, only to see a man standing on the beach, staring into the house, his one hand holding onto the leash of his dog.

“Toji, there’s—”

I stop when he suddenly leans in and nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck, at the same time driving his cock deeper inside of me. He moans against my skin and calls out my name so breathily that my heart stops for a second, only to start racing.

Feeling his hand creep down to my crotch, he rests his middle finger on my sensitive pearl. Toji rocks his hips just so slightly and caresses my swollen clit with his digit. My walls grasp onto his meat and I have to drive my nails into his bicep as I hold onto him, trying to stay grounded at his ministrations. This time, Toji tilts his head so he has his lips by my ear.

“You’re so hot, baby,” he moans. His husky voice, his almost-dirty praises, and the way his digit rubs so gently on my clit make my heart soar. “Wanna fuck you all day.”

He lets out a grunt as he makes a hard thrust into me. Toji pulls out slowly and just before he rams into me again, he adjusts his head to rest his temple on mine. It is at this moment that he must have finally noticed the man and his dog watching us because he freezes so suddenly, his finger no longer teasing my clit.

“We have an audience, baby.”

“I know,” I answer breathlessly.

Toji pulls back slightly, making me turn to face him. His eyebrows are furrowed. “You knew?”

I give him my most innocent look as I nod my head. “I tried to tell you but you ignored me.”

His green orbs slide up and down between my eyes and my little pouty lips. He leans in and licks me slowly from my chin to my pout. Then, with a kiss, he grunts into my mouth and resumes his slow fucking. I whine when he taps lightly on my sticky clit.

“Kinda hot, huh, Princess?”

Toji grunts as he makes a slow but hard thrust into me, his tip pushing against my cervix. I let my eyes roll to the back of my head as my head thumps against his collarbone.

“Having a stranger watch us fuck in your family’s beach house…” He lets out a breathy groan. Dipping his head down to nose the back of my ear, he mutters lowly, “Give him a nicer show, why don’t you, baby whore?”

A small gasp falls from my lips when he bends to bring up a leg, hooking his arm under my thigh so that I am opened wide and bare for our audience as my boyfriend continues fucking me slow and deep. Toji brings his other hand up to lick his digits before poising them on my clit and I immediately brace myself against the glass panes.

The moment he speeds up his fucking and begins toying with my swollen pearl, my brain turns into mush. I can’t think, I can’t speak. Lewd moans and horny gasps are all that I can offer every time Toji grunts dirty praises into my ear. I know that the man and his dog can surely see the look of intense pleasure on my face. But Toji’s girthy meat is sliding in and out of his little cocksleeve, so tight and warm and snug just for him. The bumps of his veins, the ridges of his cockhead — they feel so good against my wet walls.

“Oh, fuck, baby,” Toji groans into my ear, his tongue sloppily licking at my lobe. “You’re getting tighter. Gonna cum for me, Princess?” I can only bite on my bottom lip and nod my head. He sucks in a deep breath and massages my red pearl with more passion. I let out a whine, especially when my only standing leg trembles. Toji growls at how tight my pussy has clamped down on his thrusting cock. “You’re so close, aren’t you, little one?”

I can only use whatever energy I am left with to hold myself up against the window and fuck myself back into his impaling cock. Our chemistry, our rhythm, our bodies, even our breathing, are so in sync that when Toji tightens his hands on my flesh, I throw myself against his body, my arms going behind me to snake around Toji’s neck. His arms wrap around my waist until our bodies are skin-to-skin with no spaces in between. He makes one last thrust into my tight pussy and it is the end for us.

Toji has to bury his face into my neck as he bites down on my shoulder to muffle his loud groans and shouts. I can feel the pulsing of his balls against my ass, the flood of warm seeds in my pussy. Even through my black out of pleasure, I can hear the pornographic moans and screams from my mouth, my entire body twitching and trembling against Toji’s tight hold around me. I don’t think I have been visited this long by my orgasm. Every time I think I am about to come back down to earth, Toji makes a tiny hip movement and another wave of mini orgasm crashes through my body.

By the time the calmness that only follows after sex blankets my body, I realise how close Toji and I are. I am still in his arms, the both of us standing before the window. If we just wait for the sun to set more, we might just look like one deformed person standing in the silhouette.

I look out into the distance and notice the man with his phone out, definitely filming us. I let out a content sigh and turn slightly so my nose is in Toji’s hair. The older man lifts his head just enough so that he can look me in the eye. I give him a little smile. His green orbs flicker down to my lips, just staring for a few seconds before he cups my jaw gently and leans in to press his lips to my smile. I melt into his kiss, just letting him hold me.

Finally, when we pull apart, I pull his arms away from my body as I give him a cheeky grin. “I think we were filmed,” I say as I stick my finger out in the direction of where our only audience is. Toji tilts his head to glance out the window, only to roll his eyes and groan. I try to step away from him. “But I think I want to keep that video. I’m gonna go—“

Toji immediately stops me, his eyes turning into slits. “You’re staying here.” I open my mouth to argue, but he interrupts me before I get a word out, already knowing what I would be complaining about. “I’ll get the video. You go clean up before your parents come back.”

I perk up with a bright smile. “You would?”

He slides his calloused hands down my sticky waist before he steps back, now slipping out of me. I watch him walk to pick up his board shorts to slip them on. And just before he leaves for the balcony, he pecks me on the lips and flicks the underside of my chin.

“Anything for my baby.”

“Oh!”

I look up with round eyes, startled by the exclamation. Two ladies are blinking at me, looking left and right as if searching for someone. I quickly swallow the tart I am chewing and smile politely at them. They could after all be our company’s customers.

“Hi.”

One of them gives me a concerned look. “Where is your father?”

I knew it. They’re our clients.

Smiling apologetically, I murmur, “Sorry, my father couldn’t make it today. However, if you have any concerns, you may speak to me—“

A lady looks confused while the other is frowning. “Eh?” She scans my face for a moment before shaking her head as if to get rid of any misunderstanding between us. “I mean the man that—“

“Hey.” A warm, heavy hand rests on the small of my back, its presence already flooding my being with security and comfort. Even though I am aware of who the newcomer is, I tilt my head to look up, at once meeting Toji’s soft gaze. He leans down and gives me a soft, haste peck on my lips. When he parts from the kiss, his thumb rubs my back as he murmurs, “Mr. Kondo said he would buy us a TV for our new place as a wedding gift.”

“A big one?”

“65-inch, at least, I told him.”

“S-Sorry for intruding but…”

I had totally forgotten about the two ladies that had approached me before. I let out a small gasp as I turn to them quickly. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I apologise anxiously. “You mentioned you were looking for my father, right?”

There is a long beat of silence and the air around us is electrified by awkward tension. I take in the horrified looks and gaping mouths of the two females, their eyes anxiously darting between Toji and I.

Ah.

I tilt my body slightly and place a hand on Toji’s chest. He slides his palm down to rest on the curve of my waist. “This is my fiancé, Toji Fushiguro.”

“Oh— I—“

They are fortunate that someone calls out for them, saving them from their stuttering. With a quick bow, they take their leave. I watch them scurry off for a while longer before glancing up at Toji, only to notice his face coming closer. He gives me a quick, soft kiss on my lips, his hand on my side caressing me gently. He pulls away but his tender gaze is still on me.

“What was that for?” I wonder, though I am not complaining.

He hums. “It’s nice to hear you call me your fiancé.”

“Wait till we’re married and I get to call you my husband.”

“I think I would die.”

I giggle, which gets me a squeeze around my waist in return. He leads us back into the house when I complain that it is getting chilly. The familiar interior brings me back to the first time Toji and I were here, the place where all of this had started.

Stopping at the foot of the stairs going up, I glance at Toji, who is staring into the dark corridor upstairs. Then, he turns to me, a cheeky glint in his eyes.

“Shall we relive our first time, baby?”

<< Part 1 🔞, Part 2 🔞, Part 3 🔞, Part 4 🔞

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