#“Oh what? Youre gonna get revenge for me? :) By killing their kid who is me? :)” / “FINE Forrest I just might”

[wreckedhoney]

"WONDERFUL SHOW TONIGHT, FORREST."

a KILLER FREQUENCY Marie Campbell/Forrest Nash ship playlist on YT

"Good to talk to you again, Forrest. You know, I've really enjoyed our chats tonight." "I guess we've had some moments."

Tracklist under the cut

Is Everybody Going Crazy? - Nothing But Thieves / The Perfect Girl - Mareux / We Don't Have To Dance - Andy Black / Night Issues (Nightcall x Daddy Issues) Mashup/Remix - FuturePastPerson / "Bassically" - Tei Shi / Cold Summer - Mareux / Diet Mountain Dew - Lana Del Rey / Destruction Of Us - Mr.Kitty / Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer / HUSH - Ari Abdul / DTLA - Mareux / Make You Mine - Madison Beer / FEAR YOU - Kat Von D / Bad Romance - Lady Gaga / Dark All Day - GUNSHIP / Maniac (feat. Conor Mason of Nothing But Thieves) - AWOLNATION

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪. (𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦) 🍊

⤷ summary: saudi arabian and australian grands prix happen! y/n starts making vlogs for the races and it reveals more about her and a certain driver's feelings than she hoped, not that she notices. poor oscar's stuck in the middle of it all but he's trying his best!

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by f1, landonorris, and 55,007 others

tagged landonorris and oscarpiastri

mclaren saudi arabia, you were beautiful even if the results weren't! ready for what's to come

12,567 comments

user1 admin not using a single nice photo of the drivers 😭

user2 admin be honest is this your revenge era

mclaren well, yes!

user3 HELP MEEEE

user4 the way lando looks at her 😭

user5 this is a place of business

user6 oscar looks petrified 💀

mclaren dw guys we're still training him!

oscarpiastri wtf why would u say it like that, i'm not a dog

mclaren full-time team mascot, part time driver

user7 admin drop the insta your so pretty 😭😭

user8 no literally, content of her WHERE

mclaren ynusername 🤲🏼

user9 LETS FUCKING GO

user10 HER DISSING HER OWN TEAM 💀 THEY'RE GONNA FIRE YOU GIRL

mclaren they don't pay me to LIE

user11 CRAZYY

user12 LANDO IS NEVER GETTING A GOOD PIC EVER AGAIN 😭

mclaren what can i say, i am no mans peace 🥱

user13 icon

landonorris reporting you to hr

mclaren for what

landonorris idk harrassment or something

mclaren ok keyboard warrior, lets calm down 💀

user14 KEYBOARD WARRIOR HELEPSJSM

user15 i vote admin just takes over and we don't even get driver pictures

user16 real and true

user17 i fear we may have lost the plot

user18 thoughts on today's results

mclaren i'm trying to be positive in general but man

user19 LMAOOOOO

user20 ik the pr department is shaking in their boots after every post notif

mclaren probably! but unfortunately for everyone, i am going to keep doing whatever i want

user21 no more lando beef, mclaren admin?

mclaren i forget but i never forgive. i forgot why we were fighting but i stay hating bitches 🥱

landonorris literally WHAT DID I DO

mclaren IDK BUT IK U PISSED ME OFF 🫵

oscarpiastri diabolical photo choice

oscarpiastri i look like a little kid on picture day

mclaren so basically your everyday look

oscarpiastri yk what you are making this work environment very hostile

mclaren i can make it more hostile if you want 🤨

oscarpiastri nevermind!!!

maxfewtrell most flattering lando picture i've seen in years

mclaren that's saying something isn't it 🤩

user22 i went to haterville and they all knew you admin

mclaren they actually just elected me mayor there!!! 💪🏻

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by bsfusername, landonorris, and 17,800 others

ynusername if my admin duties don't kill me, i promise my caffeine addiction will! (:

3,422 comments

user23 be honest, how many coffees have you had today

ynusername 3!

user24 oh that's not that bad

ynusername +5

user24 JESUS CHRSUT

bsfusername at this point i think meth would be healthier

ynusername honestly yeah

ynusername thanks for the suggestion!!

user25 nooo admin don't do meth ur so sexy aha

ynusername that just made me want to do meth more

landonorris so what i'm hearing is buying you an espresso machine would get me in your good graces 😇

user26 oh brother here he goes

ynusername you must be deaf then

landonorris 😔 2 espresso machines?

ynusername i don't want ur dirty espresso machines 🙄

oscarpiastri now what car is that 🫵

ynusername SHHHHH

oscarpiastri TRAITOR

bsf2username when your not busy being super sexy on a race track, can we go thrifting and get sweetgreen and overpriced coffee 🙏🏼🙏🏼

ynusername this could've been an email, get this out of my comments 💀

ynusername but yeah obviously

user27 admin vlogs when 😔

ynusername SOON!!! very very soon

user28 mother feeding us once again

ynusername brb, adding single mom who works two jobs, loves her kids, and never stops to my resume

danielricciardo coffee recipe where?

ynusername in your dms now ‼️

danielricciardo is this flirting

ynusername no if i was flirting i would've told you to ask me in person, i'm just being charitable

landonorris can i get the coffee recipe too then 🤲🏼

ynusername wdy want next, my mugs? keep on walking charity case

user29 CHARITY CASE IS CRAZYDFHAJ

user30 she's so effortlessly funny and mean i love her

user31 i feel like this is so unprofessional /:

ynusername babe professional where, you are on??? my personal?? account???

user32 maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the fact that she's consumed enough caffeine to tranquelize a horse

user33 oh please the horse would be dead

ynusername call an ambulance, BUT NOT FOR ME ‼️💪🏻🗣️

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

ynusername posted to story!

(caption: melbourne vlog out now on youtube, go watch!!)

15,221 replies

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

would you like to watch? yes or no

now loading...

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

"This thing better be working," could be heard slightly muffled in between vague shuffling sounds. After a second or two of incoherent noise, the camera footage finally came on. Y/N smiled at herself in the camera as the recording light blinked to life, and raised her hand victoriously. She grabbed the smile microphone in front of her and laughed, "It looks like everything is working. Thank God, I wouldn't have known how to fix it otherwise."

"Alright everybody, welcome to the first race weekend vlog hosted by me! Your favorite McLaren admin and social manager. It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to go about this, but now I think I settled on a format that will work," She explained as she walked around the small, clean kitchen that was within frame of the camera. She pulled a glass jar out of her cabinets and left it on the counter before pulling a jug of cold brew and a cartridge of milk out of her fridge.

"It is currently 7:30 A.M on March 29th, and I have a flight to Melbourne in 3 hours. I'm already packed and ready for this weekend, but I wanted to get an introduction filmed and I wanted to take a shower before I left." Y/N paused for a moment as she poured the coffee into her mason jar until she seemed satisfied and began to add some milk. "I am totally exhausted so this is probably cup one of like," she laughed, "I don't know seven probably. And this is a pretty big jar I won't lie."

"The race weekend doesn't technically start until Friday, so I'll be getting there a bit early, but I wanted to film some content before the race weekend gets really hectic, so McLaren is sending me a little bit earlier. I'm excited though! I love the heat, even if I live in London the antithesis of Australian weather," she taste-tested her coffee and hummed in delight.

"God I really never miss with this stuff," she said contently. "Anyway, it's a bit of an early start today, but I'll have plenty of time to sleep on the fight. I mean can you believe that London to Melbourne is a nearly 22 hours," she scoffed. "I vote that we start making all of the races in one place so I don't have to feel jet lag more painful than the force of 1,000 suns every other weekend. Not that I'm complaining," she chuckled awkwardly, "I love my job McLaren please don't fire me."

Abruptly an orange tabby cat came into the frame of the camera, causing Y/N to abruptly grab her glass jar in the hopes of avoiding a mess. She gasped, but laughed as the cat scampered off as quickly as it had come. She shook her head fondly.

"That, ladies and gentleman, was Cali! My cat. She's literally my baby, and I love her more than anything else on this earth. However, she does have an affinity for hitting things off of counters and breaking them. She also hates men and nearly all other animals, so she's basically the world's biggest hazard to society. She's a good girl, I love her." Y/N explained between sips of coffee as she stared wistfully past the the frame of the camera, where it could be assumed Cali had gone.

Abruptly an alarm went off and Y/N threw her head back with a groan.

"That means I have to get in the shower and get ready so I can leave on time," she said, before taking a few more sips of coffee. "I'm going to go do that, and the next time you'll hear my beautiful voice will be at the Melbourne Airport! Cue the travel montage!"

An assortment of clips follow. Y/N is seen dragging her luggage through Heathrow Airport. Y/N is seen ordering another coffee at the airport, finishing the coffee, and ordering another before her flight. Y/N is seen responding to emails from her airplane seat, editing video footage, and responding to instragram and twitter comments. Footage is shown outside the plane window of a cloudy, blue sky and a time lapse is shown as the sky grows beautiful shades of pink and red before becoming a starry-night sky. Y/N is seen cozy in a throw blanket and a travel pillow, presumably asleep with headphones on. Y/N is shown pulling her luggage through the airport once again, with a brand new coffee cup in hand. She smiles, taking a sip before she is seen settled down in a seat in the bustling airport.

"Twenty-two or so hours later and I have finally landed in Melbourne. I'm waiting for my Uber to get here so I can finally be taken to my hotel to drop my stuff off. I have a meeting with the McLaren drivers in two hours, but luckily I slept really well on the plane. I don't know how else I would be able to deal with Lando Norris. I'm going to finish this coffee in order to maximize my tolerance for the next few hours, but I suspect I'll be getting a new coffee before I reach that meeting. My addiction truly knows no bounds," she laughs, trying to ignore the people vaguely shown within frame that are staring at her speaking to a camera.

The camera cuts abruptly and the waiting screen from SpongeBob flashes on the screen, including the narrator's voice reading "2 hours later."

Y/N is shown once again in new clothes, a new coffee cup in hand, and luggage replaced by a small canvas bag. Her comfortable plane clothes have been swapped out for jean shorts and a plain white tank-top. Her hair is clipped back out of her face, and she is adorned with simple gold jewelry and light makeup.

Y/N smiles at the camera as she walks, bustling and talking heard around her, before whispering into the small microphone, "I have arrived at the McLaren garage. It is now time to meet with Lord Lando and workplace mascot Oscar Piastri," the titles slip off her tongue sarcastically and she doesn't bother suppressing an eye-roll.

In the next clip, Oscar and Lando are seen seated on either side of her as they sit in what seems like a board-room. Lando leans over and whispers something that the camera doesn't pick up and Oscar laughs while Y/N grimaces and reaches forward to readjust the camera. When the camera comes back on, Lando and Oscar are seated together on the left of Y/N as she faces on angle toward both them and the camera.

"Don't just sit there and look pretty, say hello to the camera boys," Y/N says and Oscar cackles at the disgruntled look on Lando's face.

"Is that your way of calling me pretty Y/N," Lando chokes out between laughs, and Y/N scoffs with an eye-roll.

"I was actually talking about Oscar, but whatever floats your little papaya boat Norris," Y/N deadpans and Oscar doubles over from the force of his laughter at the pout on Lando's face.

"That's not nice at all, I hope you know that. I think I am sitting here very prettily, thank you very much," Lando says, leaning into the girl next to him to speak into her microphone.

Y/N draws the microphone back, swatting him away, "Yes, yes quite prettily," Y/N mocks in a British accent.

Oscar, still trying to recover, joins in, "Pretty little Lando Norris," and Y/N laughs jovially, reaching across Lando as if the boy weren't there to high-five the Austrialian driver.

"Bullies, the lot of you," Lando mumbles and Y/N brushes off his comment without response before finally facing the camera.

"Anyway, welcome to the first McLaren race weekend vlog. I'm Y/N L/N, the best media manager in the whole god damn world, and this is Lando Norris, the biggest pain in my ass, and Oscar Piastri, the second biggest pain in my ass. How are you feeling about Melbourne boys?" Y/N questions, transitioning smoothly much to the British driver's chagrin.

"Feeling proud to be the second biggest pain in the ass and not the first. Probably the only time i've been glad to get second actually," Oscar comments and Y/N laughs as Lando shakes his head in disappointment.

"But in all seriousness it is good to be home, this is easily my favorite race of the year seeing as it's my home race and i'm looking forward to, hopefully, good results from our team," Oscar supplies and Y/N nods along to his words.

"Yes, Australia, we are in you and we are happy about it," both boys choked out a laugh at the manager's sexual innuendo and Oscar quickly covered his mouth with his hand so as not to react too much. "What about you Lando what are you feeling," Y/N questioned, leaning the small microphone to the boy.

"Feeling like that was a stupid joke. And also like I am going to be getting P1 this weekend. I can feel it in my bones."

"Leave my jokes alone Lando, you're not being paid to be a critic," she scoffed, "and if I recall, you said the same thing in Saudi Arabia not that long ago. What's changed now?"

Lando rolled his eyes, "What's changed is that we're in Australia now and I'm feeling much more confident."

"Well thank god for that," Y/N supplied unhelpfully as Oscar laughed.

"Now, what we really came here for, it's time to film a video for this channel, it's going to be a fan Q and A, I picked the questions. By the time this vlog is up, the QnA should've already been posted. So feel free to stop watching this and to go watch that or whatever," Y/N commented. "After that we're going to film a TikTok challenge," both and Lando and Oscar grimaced, but Y/N ignored their dismay at the idea of fiming yet another TikTok, so cue the montage! Filming time!" Y/N exclaimed and the screen transitioned to a new series of clips.

In the first clip Oscar and Lando were sitting in two chairs while Y/N sat across from them with a set of notecards.

"Lando, this question from user "ln4mania" asks, "Are you and admin actually friends? Or is the online beef real? The people demand answers!" Y/N reads off with a laugh.

"Do you hear that, the people demand answers Lando! Don't keep them waiting!" Oscar and Y/N laugh as Lando shakes his head and tucks his face into his hands.

"There is no beef, guys. Me and admin, or rather me and Y/N are just fine. We hadn't even actually met when that happened," Lando supplied between laughs. Y/N looked at the camera and rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, faux-disagreeing with the boy.

She ignored the simmering pit of disappointment in her stomach. She did in fact have a problem with entitled little Lando Norris who still gave her side-eyed looks and judgmental stares whenever he saw her. If that wasn't humiliating enough, Oscar had clearly noticed it too, which just gave Y/N the feeling that she wasn't being taken seriously at all now that Oscar understood Lando's lack of respect for Y/N. However that didn't matter in the current moment. All that mattered was making this video.

The next clip showed Lando and Oscar sitting at a table with bowls of water in front of them and towels strewn across a chair just within frame of the camera. Y/N stood behind them, hands rested in their hair as she reacted to the prompts being read by someone, an unnamed media intern, off-camera.

"Who is harder to make videos with?" The intern asked and Y/N huffed out a laugh as she let her hands fully grasp Lando's curls and push him into the water quickly. He sputtered, trying to blink the water out of his eyes as Y/N laughed at the wet-puppy dog look he was sporting.

Y/N tried to shake the ridiculous desire to let her hands run through the soft curls underneath her finger tips. Curse Lando and whatever stupidly good, rich-person hair routine he used that made him smell good and look good, and... whatever.

Lando, blinking water out of his eyes, was now undoubtedly certain that being damn-near waterboarded was worth it if it meant that Y/N would laugh like that again. He knew Oscar would harass him again later for being "down-bad" or something along those lines- as he had done every time he caught the man staring-, but as he caught a glimpse of Y/N's bright smile and shaking shoulders, he found he didn't really care.

The next clip showed Oscar, Lando, Y/N, and a laughing media intern as they all dried off- somehow all having become wet through the course of filming. Y/N dried herself off quickly, taking a sip of her newly refilled coffee, not seeing the way that only the camera and Oscar saw Lando stared at her until the driver was nudged back into focus on drying himself off.

A title-card once again came on the screen with white words on a photo collage of Australian grand-prix candids that Y/N had taken, reading "Race montage? More likely than you'd think."

Footage was shown of the free practice sessions. Oscar and Lando getting in and out of their cars. Engineers along the pit wall going over data. The team speaking incoherently, going over the game plan for Sunday's race. Oscar and Lando greeting fans, signing merch, and posing for photos. Y/N smiling and waving at a cheering crowd of people before staring at the camera incredulously with a small caption reading: "Omg she's famous your honor". More clips showed Lando laughing as Oscar tossed grapes and Lando moved to catch them with his mouth. Lando nearly choking as Y/N cackled in the background. Multiple clips showing Y/N with a fresh coffee, and another... and another, as Oscar's face in the background grew with concern. Zak Brown explaining to Y/N the dangers of caffeine overdose, and the need for moderation. Y/N explaining to Zak Brown that without coffee she would simply collapse and die, which the camera showed did nothing to ease her concern. Y/N getting caps signed by the drivers for fans and walking away with intricate friendship bracelets decorating her wrists.

And finally footage of the race. The engineers in the garage. The pit-crew changing tires. The cars racing past as Y/N watched attentively. Footage of the crowd as they cheered when the cars whizzed past. Smiling faces of fans. Y/N's cheers as Oscar and Lando passed. The smiling faces of McLaren employees as Lando and Oscar crossed the checkered flag in P6 and P8 respectively.

Y/N accepting hugs from both drivers, ignoring the burning sensation in her stomach as Lando wrapped his arms around her with a smile and a laugh. Y/N calling Lando smelly and telling him to go wash off if he wants to hug her next time, and him rolling his eyes at her fondly before making a face at the camera. The podium celebration is shown and Y/N smiles as the anthem plays, even though it's not for her own team.

The final clip is shown of Y/N in her hotel room, comfortable in sweats as she sits on the unmade bed.

"Not bad results this week guys! P6 for Lando and P8 for Oscar, which are good points for the team. I'm happy on my end, I think we got some good content filmed, and I am now ready to go to sleep so I can get home to Cali and my own bed quicker. I hope you enjoyed this video, and if you didn't don't tell me because I don't care!" Y/N jokes with a smile.

"Hopefully I will see you all at the next race, if not the race after that! Bye papaya fans, and be sure to follow us on instagram and all of the other social platforms!" Y/N exclaimed, gesturing to the list of the social media handles that appeared on her right hand side.

And with that, the camera cut to black.

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 29,145 others

ynusername afraid to report that i fought jetlag and lost 😔 i did sleep for 25 hours straight after melbourne and i had no clue where i was when i woke up! shout out cali for waking me up 🙏🏼 best friend frl

9,547 comments

bsfusername i'm going to try not to be offended by that caption (love you bb cali) but FUCK YOU CAUSE I BOUGHT YOUR ASS BREAKFAST

ynusername my bad! s/o to that bomb ass omlette 🤩

bsfusername never doing shit for you again

user34 that vlog was god tier, how long did that take

ynusername it took 7 hours of editing and years off my life, thanks so much for asking 🥳

maxverstappen1 thanks again for those podium photos! you have a gift for photography 💪🏻

ynusername don't mention it! 👍🏼

ynusername (no seriously, mclaren might behead me)

mclaren beheading is so last year. firing squad. 🗣️

user35 not y/n threatening herself 💀

oscarpiastri suprised your body didn't naturally wake up for coffee

ynusername it did! just 25 hours later

user36 your poor cat was literally starving for a whole day? youre a horrible owner

ynusername let me introduce you to god's greatest creation: the automatic feeder!!! i'm sure they can mail one to whatever fucking rock you live under!

user37 PERIODDDD

user38 me personally? i'd never log on again

user39 she needs a personal channel 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i'd subscribe

user40 her cat is so cute 😭😭😭 gimme that

ynusername 🫵 STAY BACK HEATHEN, NO ONE TOUCHES CALI AND LIVES

user40 my bad fam 🧍🏻‍♀️

user41 i want someone to love me as much as she loves that mean ass cat

landonorris don't you have a job to be doing 💀💀 she slept through a full work day

user42 lando always on her ass and for whattttt

user43 obsessed obsessed obsessed

ynusername i had the day off! but not the guy who was streaming video games coming for me 🥱 talking bout get a job

user44 lando and y/n beefing on insta again? we're so back

user45 at this point instagram comment beef isn't enough, they need to duel or some shit

user46 the caffeine addiction almost got her guys

ynusername i wish it would, then i wouldn't have to work with lando's annoying ass

landonorris I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS???

ynusername THAT'S THE POINT

user47 honestly just give her a gun atp, these men test her too damn much

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

user48 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S RIGHT HERE

user49 no fr, like let's get back to bed grandma

user50 OP, are you concussed?

user51 no actually cause didn't y/n just say she wanted to khs working with him 💀💀

pastryboy81 that sign can't stop me, because i can't read!

user53 OK I ACTUALLY SEE THE VISION

user54 ARE YOUR EYES CLOSED???!1!1

user55 i fear i totally get it 😔

user56 it's giving enemies to lovers, secret relationship type vibe lowkkkk

user57 no deadass like he hugged her reallll tight

user58 she also hugged oscar 😭😭?? and he has a whole gf

user59 the way she shoved him off and told him he reeked not 5 seconds after 💀 delusion is a disease yall

user60 someone call the f1 gossip pages cause 😗

user61 more like someone call the ward cause somethings real off with yall 🤨

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

sorry that this update took forever, i had surgery and recovery has been rougher than i expected! hope you enjoy!!

please leave your thoughts in the comments and feel free to drop a request for your fav in my asks <3

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[sl0t4matt]

hard launch with hector fort 🙏🏻🙏🏻

h. fort | hard launch

love love this trope. thank u, anon!! also added a few more posts than just the hard launch hope u don’t mind :)

youruser kinda in my wag era rn

liked by hctorforrt_ and 679.055 others

random OMG WHAT

random she’s fine af how did he pull her lmao

╰┈➤ random they are both very attractive bro

random did somebody say hard launch?!

yourbestfriend hottest wag

╰┈➤ youruser luv u

random who’s she and why is she with hector

╰┈➤ random prolly his gf

hctorforrt_ i still don’t know what that means

╰┈➤ youruser r u slow i told you like 10 times

lamineyamal thank god i can’t keep secrets

╰┈➤ youruser 🙄🙄

╰┈➤ random lmao lamine knew

random can someone watch my grwm? 🥺

╰┈➤ random no 🥺

marcguiu9 someone took my bitch

╰┈➤ youruser bohoo 🥺

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ marc 😫🫃

╰┈➤ youruser homosexuals

╰┈➤ random theyre dating atp

╰┈➤ random LMAO i love her 😭

random noo hector 😓

random wha- shocked.

lamineyamal gonna be a long ass era

liked by creator

hctorforrt_ still not sure how i pulled this 

liked by marcguiu9 and 308,940 others

youruser ur cute

random hottest couple

random i think we missed a chapter or two

random crying rn she’s pretty tho

fcbarcelona champ on and off the pitch 🤙

liked by creator

random lol this came out of nowhere

random she’s beautiful

liked by creator

random WTH HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

╰┈➤ random yes and she mogs u

random they compliment each other so well

╰┈➤ random fr both hot af

marcguiu9 i accept i guess

╰┈➤ youruser thank you for your blessing🙏🏼

_ferminlopez my kids

╰┈➤ random daddy

╰┈➤ _ferminlopez come again?

╰┈➤ random oh

random she only wants him for money

╰┈➤ youruser omg you caught me 😰

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ lmao

╰┈➤ random she’s a model i’m sure she has her own money

433 goat good luck!

liked by creator

random HARD LAUNCH ⁉️

hctorforrt_ added to their story

hctorforrt_ she said she would look “so sexy” pregnant

╰┈➤ youruser bitch why would u post that (i would totally rock being preggo)

hctorforrt_ wym you always look good (only with my children tho)

youruser you flirt 🤭 also i’m totally not letting you get away with this

hctorforrt_ yeah sure

hctorforrt_ i was zipping up her dress lol

liked by youruser and 208.086 others

youruser stop talking big you literally couldn’t do it for shit

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ i did it in the end tho

╰┈➤ youruser yeah when we were already late

random the last one 😍 she’s so cute

lamineyamal papi when r u posting yourself 🥵

liked by creator

╰┈➤ paucubarsi i miss his face too 😔

╰┈➤ marcguiu9 me three

╰┈➤ youruser ew

╰┈➤ random they are so funny 😭

youruser i’m gonna get revenge for the story wait up

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ shivers down my spine 😱

╰┈➤ youruser okay bitch it just got worse

paucubarsi i think she has something on her nose

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ omg really bro 😱

╰┈➤ youruser leave him alone 🙄

random it���s always the models

╰┈➤ random literally stop calling yourself a fan when you say shit like that

╰┈➤ random just let him be happy omg?!

youruser i’m kind of liking this wag lifestyle

liked by marcguiu9 and 469.976 others

marcguiu9 JAJAJAJAJA

liked by creator

random omg haha hector looks so cute in that picture

lamineyamal slaying fr

╰┈➤ youruser ate fr

paucubarsi the pic of hector is killing me

╰┈➤youruser u and everyone else

hctorforrt_ you’re evil

╰┈➤ youruser it’s your own fault 🥱

hctorforrt_ just because i’m in love w u doesn’t mean u can do shit like that!!!

╰┈➤ youruser aw you’re in love with me 🤭

lamineyamal nah deserved after that story

╰┈➤ youruser i know right!

╰┈➤ paucubarsi fr did you dirty with that

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ you’re supposed to be MY friends?!

╰┈➤ youruser hah! they love me more

fcbarcelona hector always been a culer 💙❤️

liked by creator

random why is no one talking about how good she looks?!

liked by creator

[deadsetobsessions]

As the girl who came up with the Triplet! Tim AU PLEASSEEEEE continue it!!!!! I NEED to see Bruce who thought he had one robin finding out he actually has three separate completely different ones

I gotchu lmfao I think I’ll get to Bruce later? I’m really happy you liked it omg like that idea is so good

——

Their plan was perfect! It would have been perfect, had it not been for Dick Grayson and his nosy face!

Batman might not have known his identity, but Dick Grayson did. He promised to keep it from Batman, but Tim hadn’t exactly thought about his secret identity when he showed up to harass the man into being Robin again.

And now, they’re paying for it.

Tim leaned back and crossed his arms as he watched Dick cradle his head in his hands, looking half a short breath away from a mental breakdown.

“Are you telling me… there’s three of you?”

“Yes, Dick.” Tim sighed, having answered this exact question ten times in the past two minutes.

Dick lifted his head, wide eyes looking a little feverish… no, looking a little manic.

“Tim. Your name is Tim, right? I’m not-”

“Yes, my name is Tim. Technically, so are the others. But the one here with us is Lionel.”

“No, wait, Tim, you understand how this is- insane, right? It’s not even remotely in the realm of mentally healthy.” Dick paused. “Wait, are you skipping school right now?!?”

“Has anyone ever told you your priorities are screwed up, Dick?” Lionel-Tim walked back into the room, hands full of snacks and, most importantly, Dick’s emergency marshmallow bag. Dick turned to Lionel, eyes full of guilt, and grabbed the bag of marshmallows like a dehydrated man in the middle of a desert who’s only couple of feet away from an oasis that he’s been looking for for days.

“Oh my god. I’ve had three younger brothers and I thought they were all the same kid!” Dick wailed, grabbing a handful of marshmallows and stress cramming it into his mouth. Tim threw him a disgusted look.

“To be fair, we made sure to train to act like each other from a really early age,” Tim said, snatching the bag of chips that Lionel chucked at his head. His snack laden triplet plonked himself on the plush spinning chair, shoving a hand inside the bag of gummy worms and cramming it down his throat as he spun around.

“I can’t believe I’ve never even checked up on you at your place!! If I did, I would have noticed it way earlier!”

“Probably not,” Lionel mumbled through his mouthful of colorful gummy worms. “You only caught us because Tim got beat half to death by an edgy crime lord teenager.”

Dick hunched into himself, a myriad of complicated emotions- largely, guilt and fury and heartbreak- wormed its way past his face. Tim glared and threw a chip at his triplet.

“It’s fine, Dick. Lionel’s just being an asshole. We’re taking care of it. Revenge prank.” Tim explained.

“He wouldn’t have caught us and you know it.” Lionel grumbled.

“I’ll help.” Dick mumbled dejectedly.

“You’ll have to get in line, Wing,” Tim went back to his laptop. “My thirds got first dibs, and I’m not planning on staying still either. I’m gonna mess with Jason’s slush funds.”

“He’s got a stash of cash locked up in the fourth safe house, but that’s not interesting. Look!” Lionel proudly displayed a duffle bag- from where he got it from, Dick had no clue- and unzipped it to show batteries, lightbulbs, and random bits and bobs.

“What is that?” Dick asked.

“That’s the second lightbulb in his bathroom light! This is the left battery in his TV remote! And this is half of his back up boot laces. I took all of his 10 mm sockets! And the specialized socket he got for his bike! And this,” Lionel grinned, lifting up a piece of fabric. “Is his pillow case!”

“Niceee.” Tim whistled. He tossed a piece of tech at Lionel. “Sneak back into his house and put that in between his pillows. It’ll keep both sides uncomfortably warm.”

“Fuck yeah!”

“Is… this revenge for almost killing you?” Dick asked.

“It’s either this or complete and total financial ruin, social death, and then actual death.” Tim tapped away at his laptop.

“You’re kind of scary, you know that?”

“We know!” Lionel chirped.

“Base, come in.”

“Base,” Tim quickly replied, laser focused on Archy’s call. Lionel and Dick quieted.

“Hood’s lurking outside the school like a creep,” Archy muttered into the comm, papers rustling behind him.

Dick tensed, upset making itself visible once more.

“You still have the container I gave you this morning in your pocket?”

“Yes.”

Tim smirked in a way that made Dick suddenly have a horrible need to shake and lecture him on the moralities of not becoming a villain. “It’s glitter. Purple and pinks.”

“…Ah.”

“Godspeed, Archy!” Lionel chirped again, sounding slightly more demented.

A moment of silence before-

“Oof!” A puff. “Oh, no! I’m so sorry, mister!”

On the other end of the comm, the gruff voice of a beefy teenager spluttered, “What- why do you- egh- my mouth! The glitter went into- pleh, pleh! What the fuck, kid?!”

“I’m so sorry! It was supposed to be for a project! I worked so hard to mix the colors right! Wait, stay still, mister! I’ll help!”

Archy, eyes wide and innocent, patted some more glitter onto the vigilante.

“No, stop! Stop! You’re getting it on my bike!”

“It’s a pretty color- oh hey, this is open-”

“No! That’s the fuel tank!”

“Oh! Whoops! Sorry!”

As chaos spread on the other side of the comms, Tim and Lionel burst into cackles. Dick choked on the marshmallows, helplessly shaking with laughter.

Lionel whacked at Dick’s back, hysterically giggling.

“That’s- that’s Archy?”

“Archy pretending to be Lionel pretending to be me yeah. I hope he got glitter in the fuel tank.” Tim grinned.

“Want me to patrol tonight to see if he got the glitter out of his bike?”

Lionel jabbed his pointy elbows onto Dick’s shoulders. “Absolutely. Distract him, too! I gotta mess with his safe houses. He’ll never feel comfortable in a safe house ever again.”

“Don’t go overboard, Lionel.” Tim looked up. “But also, I changed his WiFi passwords to 123456, so do with that what you will.”

Lionel grinned. Dick mustered up a smile in response, pushing the guilt away. He had a lot to make up to his little brothers, and if terrorizing Jason was how he was going to accomplish that… well, Dick’s not feeling too nice about Jason right now.

——

Batman squinted suspiciously at a humming Nightwing.

“Something happen?” He managed to ask.

“Hm? Oh, no, I got some nice pictures.”

“…I see.”

Batman, regardless of what his history might suggest, knew how to pick his battles. This? This thing that brought Nightwing’s murder smile? This was one battle he was willing to walk away from.

“Hey, B, you ever think about adopting more kids?”

Batman choked and promptly grappled away. Nightwing cackled.

“You can’t escape the question!”

Batman ran faster.

[henry7931]

Got Your Body B*tch!

Drew:

This is Marco, he’s a raging asshole (for a lack of better words). I’ve known him all of my life, down to when we were young kids. And he’s always been a huge pain.

Marco, is the type of guy who’s cocky, always gets what he wants, comes from really nice rich parents, and incredibly insensitive.

He’s been that way forever.

I thought I was done with him when I left to go to college. That was until I walked in to my college apartment and saw Marco unpacking bags.

“Drewphus! I didn’t know you’re my roomie. You’re going to have to leave the apartment when bring a girl over, okay? Oh also, no touching my shit. I don’t want you get poverty all over it.”

If looks could kill in a moment, I swear Marco would be dead on the ground right now.

“I’m kidding…. Well, kinda. So here is your space, I hope you don’t mind but i already called the bigger bedroom since i was here first.”

“That’s fine Marco,” I say biting my tongue.

“Great, well have fun unpacking whatever you got in those two suit cases. I’m gonna have some private Marco time if you know what I mean”

Marco makes a jerking off hand gesture, I just roll my eyes and head into my new room.

A few hours past after I unpack and settle in, I order a pizza for dinner and lay back in bed.

All I can think about is how I’m about to have to live in the same quarters as Marco. The same guy I cant stand to be around.

Ugh…

So just like I always do when I get this stressed— it’s time to jerk off. (Something I’m sure Marco has already done 12 times today)

I checked my phone to see how much time I have until the pizza arrives, one hour. Great!

I pull off my shorts and open up my laptop. I feel a little embarrassed to admit this but I the kind of porn I like isn’t for everyone. I have a foot fetish. And not just that I this thing for jock athletes and their feet. I hate how much it turns me on especially since it’s guys like Marco that really get me going.

I start scrolling through and see this really hot jock with big feet. I click on his page. His username says AlphaAlex, he’s tan, dirty brown curly hair, six pack, big muscles…

I start mentally picturing him with me in the room, fantasizing him taking off his sneakers and dirty gym socks in front of me.

He says to me, “Hey Drew, do you mind rubbing my feet? I’ve had a really long practice and they are killing me.”

He puts them on my lag and says, “sorry if they stink!”

He lets me rub them and I ask him if I can smell them…

He says, “Sure, you can do whatever you want with them. After you’re done with my big jock feet, do you mind massaging my cock next?”

I stare deeply into AlphaAlex’s massive bulge on the screen. Almost about to nut…

“BRO!!! WHAT THE F*CK DREWFUS! I KNEW YOU WERE A HOMO BUT YOU’RE A FOOT FREAK TOO?”

Cum squirts onto my chest just as I turn to see Marco standing at my door with his cellphone recording in hand.

“MARCO!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?”

“Bro, wait until I show this to everyone! Now everybody going to know you’re a foot freak!!”

“MARCO PLEASE NOOO!!!”

I hop out of bed and Marco turns around and I chase him butt naked through our apartment.

He screams, “Stop chasing me foot freak!!!”

Marco shuts the door and I feel my stomach turn. I beg him to delete the video but he doesn’t respond.

As I go back to my room, I cry into my pillow… I feel so mortified.

I lay back, wiping my tears and say, “If someone could hear me, I wish I can get revenge on Marco. No I want more! I want everything Marco has…”

I cry myself to sleep, nervous for what the next day had in store for me.

The next morning, I wake up feeling kinda off. It takes me a second but I realize that somehow I’m not in my room!

In a panic, I rush to get out of bed until I come across a mirror.

That’s when I see Marco’s reflection looking back at me!!!

“Holy shit!!”

I feel a moment of fear hit me… but then I remember my wish last night. Someone out there listened to me.

I look at Marco’s face and then down at his body. Hes a dick but…. He is hot…

I pull off Marco’s shorts he slept in and his 10 inch hard morning wood comes flopping out.

“Holy fuck…”

I grasp it in Marco’s hand, which I guess is my hand now?

Nervous, yet kinda excited, I wasn’t sure what to do.

I looked down at the throbbed cock in my new new hands and immediately start jerking off.

I hop back into Marco’s bed and bring his foot up to his face. He actually has some sexy feet!

I start licking his foot from heal to toe. I relish in knowing the fact that he would go insane if he saw me with his body right now.

I keep tugging away at his cock and this maybe the best jerk off session in my life.

I twist Marco’s nipple and let out a soft moan.

“Fuckkk Marco your nipples are sooo sensitive,” I say aloud.

Hearing his voice sends me into a frenzy, just the thought that I can say anything, do anything as him. I have complete control of this dickhole!

I stand up out of bed and dash to the mirror, I grin at his reflection and jerk his cock even faster.

“Drew, it feels soo good, keep jerking my cock Drew. My body belongs to you now, my big feet, my sensitive nipples, my sexy abs… FUCKKKK THIS IS SOOO HOTTTT!!!”

I nearly screaming by this point and I feel every muscle in Marco’s body tighten.

I’m tugging so fast now and then cum sprays all over the place.

I fall back onto Marco’s bed covered in his nut. I look at his covered hand and lick it clean.

I lay back and gently rub his fingers back and forth on his stomach up to his chest.

Then reality started to sink….

Wait, if I’m Marco… what happened to my body?

“AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

I hear a distant familiar scream coming from the background.

“Oh shit…”

Heavy footsteps coming charging my direction and before I can even get up the door slams open.

Out of the door is my body…

My eyes get big, I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry. My face is blood red and he starts to charge at me.

“Hold up!” I say hopping on top of the bed.

“DREW YOU PIECE OF SHIT IM GOING TO END YOU!!”

He balls up a fist and starts to pull back. Before he can reach me I grab the balled fist.

I guess Marco’s body has quicker reflex’s.

I pull him in and toss him on the bed. I pin him down and say, “I’m a lot stronger than you now. You wanna talk instead?”

“F YOU!!!”

I twist my former weaker arm and he shouts out, “OWWW SHIT, FINNNE!!!”

I get hop off my body and let him turn over.

He glances me over and says, “did you just jerk off in my body?”

I look down at the undeniable evidence.

“Yeah, I did. It was amazing.”

“You piece of—”

I look down and notice the tent in my boxers.

“Wait are you turned on right now?” I say to him.

“NO IM NOT!”

“You have a very noticeable boner right now.”

“Shut up! No I don’t!”

“What was it for you? Seeing your body all naked? Or was it when I pinned you down?”

He says nothing to me, just looks away.

“I mean you have very hot body Marco, theirs no shame in being turned on by it. Hell, I can’t stand you and I just had the best jerk off session in my life. What’s getting all hot and bothered? Is your hairy pits?” I hold his armpit up and step closer to him.

“Or maybe it’s the sight of your own cock.” I say shaking his semi-hard dick at him.

I move even closer to him. He looks like he’s in a trance.

“Oh you know what always gets me hard. Big manly feet,” I kick his foot up and show it to him.

I place his foot on my former bulge and start rubbing it.

“Does that feel good?”

He still say nothing but lets me keep going.

I push him further on the bed and pull off the brief I went to bed in my last.

My dick comes out standing straight up and leaking from the tip.

I place his foot on it and start toying with it using his toes.

He lets out a moan.

I look at my former face and he’s so turned on right now.

I pull his foot away and he says softly, “please don’t stop…”

“Oh you don’t want me to stop?”

“No… please Drew… it’s throbbing…”

“Well you’re gonna have to finish the job yourself, I’m going to shower and head to the pool.”

“WHAT!??”

“Yeah the pools still open, got to make the most out of these last few warm days Drew.”

“YOU!!! Drew, you can’t just leave me like this!!! I want my body back right now!”

“Sorry DREW! But this wasn’t my doing necessarily. If anything this is karma for you being such a prick all these years. Now run along and go take care of that boner little gay boy.”

I look at the corner of Marco’s room and see his dirty sock.

“Oh here you go! A gift from me to you, enjoy!”

I give my former throbbing dick a pat and I run off to the shower, leaving Marco in his mixed emotional state.

I rinse off quickly and come back out, I walk back into Marco’s room and see he’s still on the bed— sniffing the dirty sock and wanking one out.

“Oh fuck you’re back already!” he says to me.

He looks so pathetic right now.

“Geez, just stay right where you are.”

I drop the towel and get into bed with him. I grab my former cock and push it into Marco’s throat.

“HOLY!!!!” he screams out.

I suck off my former body while Marco’s moans frantically.

I feel him running my former hands in his hair and I feel myself getting a little excited from it. It’s kinda hot being this aggressive and sucking my former body off.

He lets out a loud grunt and cums down my new throat.

“Better?,” I say whipping the excess cum off my mouth.

“God yeah,” he says taking heavy breaths.

I look at my former body in the eyes and for a split second I thought about kissing him. But then reality sinks in… that’s still Marco inside.

I get out of bed and say, “I’m heading down to the pool.”

I put on his bathing suit and he says to me, “Drew, I’m sorry for being such a dick.”

“I know you are,” I say back.

“Can we try to fix this?”

“I’m sorry to Marco but I don’t think we fix this, these may be our bodies forever. So you might as well get comfortable.”

I left him sitting in his now former room naked and silent.

When I get down to the pool it doesn’t take me long to notice others noticing me.

Some girls and some guys, I look over at some of the guys and even wink at one. He is super cute and fit.

I hop on to a float and lay back soaking up the sun. I wait to see if that guys going to make a move when the ultimate buzz kill shows up.

It’s Marco in my body.

“Sup,” he says to me.

“Just trying to relax.”

“Yeah well, we still need to talk.”

“We don’t now f*ck off.”

He rolls his eyes and walks over a chair by the pool.

Soon that guy from earlier comes over.

“Hey, what’s up?” he says to me with a grin.

“Just laying out wait for you to come over,” I say with a smirk.

“Oh is that so?” he says flirtatiously.

He gets into the pool and now he’s right next to me.

“I’m Lois.”

“Marco,” I say introducing myself to him.

“So do you live here?”

“Yeah I’m on the second floor.”

“Nice, I’m on the third.”

We flirt and have small talk for a minute until he asks me out.

“Sure you wanna do tonight?” I say to him.

“Oh man, yeah I’m down,” he tries not to be too excited.

“Great, let’s say 7?”

“Yeah 7 works for me.”

“Cool,” I say grinning at him.

I peak out of the corner of my eye and see my Marco coming up to the pool.

“What are you doing?” he says to me.

“Oh hey Drew, this is my roommate.”

“Oh nice, I’m—”

“Don’t care dude, I need to talk to you Marco.”

“Uh okay, sorry Lois. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yeah for sure!”

I get out of the pool and walk back to the apartment with Marco angry.

“What was that?” he says sternly.

“None of your business! Also you were just so f*cking rude!”

“I don’t care! You were flirting with that guy!”

“Yeah so? We are going on a date tonight.”

“WHAT?!?”

“Yeah, and you interrupted it.”

“You’re going on a date with a guy in my body?!?”

“It’s my body now and yes I am!”

“But… but you just sucked me off and…”

“And what? You thought that was something special?”

“OF COURSE NOT! I’M NOT GAY!”

“Well what you did a few hours ago seemed pretty gay to me.”

“Yeah that’s because I’m in your gay body and plus that’s my body. It’s kinda like masterbation.”

“Whatever man, I really don’t care. If you want to pretend to be straight that’s fine. But I’ll be honest, I think you’ve always had feelings for guys. I know because I’m in your body and I’m still attracted to men.”

“SHUT UP!!!”

“So it’s true, you’ve been a dick to me my entire life about my sexuality, what I like, and it turns out you have some pinned up jealousy towards me right?”

Marcos looking down at the ground.

“We could have been friends, do you not get that?!? We could have—”

Marco grabs me and kisses me.

I was so shocked and I even felt butterflies in my stomach. We kiss for a few minutes before I pull back.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?”

“I’m sorry Drew! I was never going to do all of that stuff. I… I don’t know how to say this… I like you. I like you a lot. Hell, I thought about kissing you just about every time I went to kiss any girl. But I have so much anger and you’re right I am jealous! I’m jealous that you’re out and proud of yourself. You’re so confident! Fuck!!”

“So why put me through so much!?!! I mean look at us, we’re literally trapped as each other now! All of this could have been prevented if you just owned up.”

“I thought… I thought you would have hated me so much that you would tell everyone the truth about me. So… I just, I was a prick.”

“Damn right you were!”

“Sorry… again.”

“It’s fine, I guess I’m sorry for causing this body swap thing between us. I made some wish last night to get back at you. I didn’t think it would become anything but then woke up as you.”

His eyes get big, “so that’s how this happened?”

“Yeah, I guess something out in the universe was listening in and heard me.”

“That’s nuts.”

“Yeah it is.”

“Well if we are being honest about everything. I wasn’t just turned on by you dominating me upstairs. I was freaked out and yet turned on from being inside of you.”

“Really? My body?”

“Yeah Drew, you’re cute. You have an adorable face, cute slim figure, you’re charming yet kinky.”

“Wow.”

“And now I guess we are going to have to be each other forever?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“Well if I had to be anyone else, I’m glad it’s you.”

“You mean that?”

“I do.”

I grinned at him and he smiles back at me. We both start to laugh.

“Are you still going on a date with this Lois guy?”

“Well not if an adorable guy who’s charming yet kinky stops me.”

“I guess that’s me now isn’t it?”

“Yep!”

“Well I can’t fully stop you but I can tell you this. If you don’t go—we can order take out, lay in bed together, and fool around all night.”

“Hmmmm… that sounds promising.”

“Plus, I know my body really well. And I can tell you no one knows how to make that body feel as good as I do.”

“Is that so?”

He walks closer to me seductively and Im starting to get hard again.

“I’ll nibble on those nipples, toy around with my balls…I bet you these hands are going to feel so good working that cock..”

He reaches into my bathing suit and I gasp.

“Fuckkk, I guess I’ll be staying tonight,” I say barely getting words out.

“Hell yeah!!!”

3 Months Later:

“Babe, are you packed? We got to be at your parents in a couple of hours… Babe?”

“Hi”

“Are you kidding?”

“We have time for a quick round, sides I’ll jerk you off using these sexy toes,” I say wiggling my feet at my boyfriend.

“Fuckkk… I guess we have time.”

Marco pulls off his shirt and I see the definition built into my former chest. He’s been hitting the gym a lot lately and everyday he’s looking sexier and sexier.

Marco pulls off his shorts and he’s already hard from these feet. It works like a charm every time.

I watch as my boyfriend grabs the foot that used to belong to him and he kisses every toe.

It’s crazy how quick the time had flown since we woke up as each other. I guess it helps that we are so in love with one another.

I start rubbing the cock that used to belong to me and now I’m hard.

“Babe, you are so talented with those toes… mhmmm that feels good.”

I use both feet and stroke back and forth.

He stops me for a second and plants my foot on his face.

“Did you work today without any socks on?”

“Hell yeah I did.”

He takes a big sniff of them.

“Fuckkk, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[rachetmath]

Jaune Revenge

Winter: Ruby we found her.

Ruby: Cinder. Everyone it's time.

Yang: Ruby no-

Ruby: I have to stop her. I am the only one.

Jaune: What?

Ruby: It has to be me.

Jaune: Who the hell- who the hell decided that?!

Ruby: She is my problem.

Jaune: I know this- oh hell no she- Ruby!

Ruby: Farewell my friend. I pray that I return.

Jaune: Oh hell-

After a minute what seemed like hours of fighting.

Cinder: Yes finally.

Ruby: *barely catching her breath*

Cinder: After all this time… you finally die Ruby R-

*Boom*

Cinder: *screams in pain*

Ruby: *looks behind her* Jaune. 

Jaune: *throws the gun away and slaps Ruby across her face* The f*** is wrong with you?!

Ruby Ow.

Jaune: You really think I would let you steal my prey? My kill? After all the bull**** that b**** put me through. The f***!

Ruby: Jaune I-

Jaune: I had dreams. Dreams of when I have this b**** in my sights. As her life is now in the palm of my hands. Having her beg for forgiveness has I take what little breath she has from her now feeble hands. Oh God yes… 

Ruby: …. Um

Jaune: And have you learned nothing from your people? Penny? Pyrrha? Alyx?!

Ruby: Whoa Jaune don't be–

Jaune: Stop running off somewhere, prepared to die. We do not do 1 v 1. We jump people. It is the most effective means to win. You are not built for that kind of time. There is no shame in having a squad, especially for enemies.

Ruby: But-

Jaune: Like your uncle, he sucks. He has lost a one-on-one every time since Beacon. Winter, hit him. Tyrian poisoned him. Hazel could have ended his career.  Your uncle needed two other hunters to take Tyrian in. He even required Tyrian to fight Clover. Your uncle isn't about that action. 

Ruby: Well sheesh…

Jaune: Now you excuse me- *pulls out the sword* I will finish this.

Cinder: You weakling. You piece of crap. What are you going to do to me huh? Kill me. Don't make me laugh. You don't have the- *stab in her arm* Ah! *mouths is covered*

Jaune: Oh no Fall maiden, we are just getting started. 

Cinder: *scared*

Nora: Ruby, sorry we’re late but-

Cinder: *screams in agony* My legs! My legs!

RWBY: *shock*

Jaune: Nah-nah we ain't done yet. This is for Pyrrha.*beats Cinder down*

Cinder: *yells in pain* Help me! Help me! Ruby help me! Please!

NERO: *scared*

Jaune This one's for Penny! *Stab Cinder's chest*

Cinder:  *screams*

Jaune: *healing and stabbing Cinder repeatedly* No, you gonna feel this. Yeah. Yeah!!

NPRA: *Summer and Alyx are shocked while Pyrrha and Penny fist pump*

RHAW: *Glad they never met Jaune*

Adam: Oh it was good that I didn't try to fight him on the train.

Hazel: Even though I know I can beat him…. It scares me that he could have a chance of killing me himself. 

Ironwood: Oh so he finally learned. Thank God. 

Clover: Sir please-

Ironwood: We died because of these kids, Clover, I have a right to be like this.

Cinder: No. No. Not my eye. Not my last eye, please! *screams as her eye is pulled out*

Salem: *watching from a far* Oo she will die. Not my problem.

Jaune: *exiles* 

Cinder: *dead* 

Jaune: Finally. And Oscar.

Oscar: Um… yeah-yeah what is it?

Jaune: Are you Ozpin now?

Oscar: N-no. Nope. I'm still here.

Jaune: Your girl. Your problem. I am tired of being the third wheel. The seventh wheel really.

Weiss: I mean -

Jaune: Figure out what you want in life then we'll talk.

Emerald: Oh my God I have maiden powers. I was Cinder’s last thoughts. I-

Jaune: *readies his sword*

Emerald: Jaune-Jaune calm down. We are good. We are good. Best behavior.

Jaune: You damn right b****.

Emerald: Jesus what have you been through on that island?!

Jaune: Isolation is a b****!

Cinder: *in hell and curled up in a ball*

Rogue: How was your freedom as a slave?

Cinder: Shut up. And why are you here?

Hazel: Are you serious? He left you unsupervised, and in a family where you were put through extreme work conditions to survive. 

Adam: You were a slave and the only thing he did was train you. 

Roman: He didn't even get you out. He abandoned you. He is a monster.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

Danny and Danielle definitely love to mess around with people guessing their relationship.

~~~

Duke: Danny, who is that girl with you?

Danny: Oh, she's my cousin. Long story. Anyway...

~~~

~Gala in honor of a new victory of the Young Titans.~

Batman hands the adoption papers to Phantom.

Danny: Look, man, I already have parents and I'm a self-sufficient ghost with a job and...I'm really not a fan of creepy billionaires with a lair under the estate.

~Danielle literally appears out of thin air~

Elle: Hey, dad. I don't want to interrupt, but father is dead ahead, coming right at us.

Danny: What, is that crazy fruit loop here too? Call Clockwork, tell him to lend me the thermos I left in his lair. I might as well get child support for both of you.

Batman looks stunned, then nods. The 1+2 action is very successful, Alfred will not be able to resist such cute faces.

~~~

~ Danny pointing at the phone screen~

Danny: Here. Jazz and Elle. My sisters. They are so cool.

Dick: But isn't the ghost girl your cousin? Or daughter, according to Bruce?

Danny:...Not to change the subject...Show me a picture of Jason in pixy boots!

~~~

Danny: This is Elle, my no-love-but-hate product with my nemesis, and this is Dan, my youngest. Who knew that when you play with timelines, you have to use protection!

Flash: Yeah, rookie mistake.

~~~

~Dining room, Wayne Manor~

Dan: I'm not going to play along with your crazy ideas! It's humiliating!

Alfred: Master Dan, your attitude towards your father upsets me immensely. Kindly sit down and have a cup of tea with your family.

Dan:...I still don't understand how Jazz and Pennyworth make me do what they want.

Oracle: No one dares to resist Alfred and upset older sister. These are the laws of the universe. Would you like another cup of milk oolong?

Dan: *sighs*

~~~

Nightwing: So you and King Phantom and Chronos...

Vlad: No! Disgusting! We're just raising kids together. I have them every Thursday and I curse the day I thought I needed an heir. Your father has a whole bunch of them...I thought I could keep one under control, but now my house is like a battlefield and I'm losing. What is this, gum on the chair?!

~~~

Danny: I’m so tired of this job.

Dan: You know what, I used to want to kill you and your whole family for revenge, but now...you must suffer. Have fun with the paperwork. Now the whole Ghost Zone thinks you’re my father, so I don’t want to inherit that stupid ring and crown if I crush your core. Elle and I are gonna go to Starbucks, and then I’m gonna teach her to terrify Vlad. Good luck trying to stop me.

Danny: ...I hate this family...

~~~

Danny and Elle are just having fun. :D

Dan and Vlad:Why do I have to participate?

Clockwork: Everything is going as it should be. Nice.

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo Revengers Groupchat (not everyone, also random combinations, no specific gang)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, homophobia by a gay person (just sillies), mentions of vomit and poison, mentions of drugs

Desc: placenta, placebo, or gazebo? 🤔

Rindou: yk when you tell someone something then they believe it and it works?

Rindou: like what you're saying isn't true but cause they think it is, it works

Ran: yes

Ran: the placenta effect

Izana: here we fucking go

Smiley: you're kidding right?😁

Ran: are you going to put a Smiley face after every single thing you text?

Ran: we get it, you smile really wide 👍

Smiley: kys

Ran: so hostile and for what

Mikey: idk what the word is but it's definitely not placenta

Izana: how even?

Mitsuya: ...the placebo effect??

Ran: isn't that those huge tent things

Mitsuya: that's a gazebo

Ran: oh

Ran: same thing

Smiley: you dumb as hell

Hakkai: you'd think that big ass forhead of yours would be worth something

Hakkai: smh

Ran: and you'd think after 10 years you'd get over whatever grudge you have against me

Hakkai: you literally hit my best friend (future bf) over the head with a brick

Chifuyu: thought you could sneak that in huh

Hakkai: he could have died

Ran: but he didn't?

Ran: i was just being silly and having fun

Ran: is that such a crime🙄

Hakkai: ITS FUCKING ATTEMPTED MURDER

Rindou: so is it placebo, placenta, or gazebo?

Mitsuya: it's placebo

Kazutora: placenta's are in females stomachs for pregnancy i think

Baji: that's the uterus (i'm so fucking smart)

Chifuyu: none of those are correct

Draken: google exists also

Draken: why are you asking us

Rindou: shut up for a sec

Rindou: would the placenta effect potentially kill someone

Rindou: like if you told someone that you poisoned them and then after a while they start frothing at the mouth and shit, could they die?

Rindou: or are they being a little bitch and faking lol

Rindou: i didn't actually put the rat poison in his drink (i think)

Rindou: but it kinda seems like he's dying or smth

Mikey: what the fuck is this situation

Mikey: is this real?💀

Rindou: nah

Rindou: hypothetically

Ran: does this have to do with the ambulance being here

Rindou: nah

Rindou: can y'all just answer me

Rindou: hurry before the "poison", does it's job or whatever

Rindou: guys he's throwing up pretty violently

Rindou: there's blood

Rindou: hypothetically

Izana: who would you have "hypothetically" poisoned?😐

Rindou: bro that's not the point, sir

Izana: stop calling me sir in normal situations

Izana: we're normal now and not in a gang and i'm a normal person not a gang leader

Mochi: so we don't have to call you Izana-sama anymore?

Ran: what if it turns us on

Izana: uhm

Kakucho: fuck off

Kakucho: sorry

Ran: Kaku give it up, he's way too old for you

Rindou: so y'all just gonna let the hypothetical person die? ayt

Rindou: i'm on my way to the hospital for unrelated reasons

Kakucho: who's the hypothetical victim of the placebo

Rindou: uhhh Sanzu

Kakucho: LMAO

Kakucho: let him hypothetically die then 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: punch him in the stomach

Rindou: i know a lot of y'all don't like him but we're friends now and i don't want him to die also he has the best drugs so i'd rather he stay alive so that i can enjoy them recreationally

Rindou: but i'll do it anyway

Mitsuya: stfu for a sex, punching him will make him throw up, and he'll vomit most of the poison out

Rindou: oh like in the stomach?

Rindou: he's gonna be so mad at me, damn

Baji: "shut up for a sex" lmaoooooo🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Baji: and you guys say I'M diabetic💀💀

Mikey: bro what?😭

Kakucho: you mean dyslexic?

Kakucho: nvm the situation speaks for itself

Smiley: the irony of this is crazy

Draken: that got a chuckle outta me 😂

Chifuyu: why you text like a 40 year old dad💀

Ran: i never went to school but even i know that's incorrect

Hakkai: "i never went to school but even i know that's incorrect 🤓👆"

Hakkai: jump into oncoming tragic you f slur🖕

Smiley: aur naur you done made Hakkai homophobic

Ran: you need to fucking chill omg

Mitsuya: are you five years old, Baji

Baji: nah i'm 24 dumbness🤨

Baji: *dumbass

Izana: my oath for not using violence anymore might have to be on hold cause you guys are pissing me the fuck off you fucking incompetent fools useless excuses of human beings

Smiley: bro called us fools

Ran: that's a bit much, sir

Baji: bet you're typing with your left hand

Ran: uh huh <3

Rindou: get some fucking bitches, damn

Ran: where are your bitches, Rindou

Rindou: on my dick

Ran: oh you're talking about the femboys?

Ran: ohh ok i thought you weren't gay but whatever

Mikey: yo is haruchiyo alive?

Rindou: they're pumping his stomach, he'll be fine

Rindou: liking femboys isn't gay

Smiley: 🤨

Angry: 🤨

Rindou: don't act dumb because it's literally in the term 'fem'

Draken: uh, what about the 'boy' part

Rindou: don't twist my words

Rindou: how is liking something that looks like a girl, gay??

Mitsuya: bffr 😐

Rindou: y'all telling me if i fuck haruchiyo i'm gay???

Hakkai: he's a boy?

Rindou: he looks like a woman

Rindou: have you seen his body? tiny ass waist headass. y'all come to the onsen next time you'll see what i mean

Chifuyu: you're being weird rn

Ran: what about his penis, Rindou

Rindou: that's irrelevant

Rindou: besides it's barely noticeable

Draken: people like you and Koko are the fucking problem, get some therapy

Smiley: Rindou thinks fucking a guy in the ass isn't gay 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Rindou: "FEM"

Draken: BOY???? MALE??? MAN??? DICK???

Rindou: ok who's gay now, weirdo🤨

Draken: kys (kill yourself)

[dragonking10]

Jaune The Black Knight

An AU where Jaune and Ruby decided to say Fuck the world, got married after going rogue (they left Beacon after being betrayed by their friends) and had a daughter together named Olivia.

Salem was watching everything through her Grimm and decided to personally invite them to join her faction in turn they will get their revenge. With nowhere else to go they accepted now Ruby leads a battalion of Grimm with Jaune as her Second in Command.

And yes Salem cares about these two adorkable couple and vowed to never let anyone hurt them ever again.

I have baffled long enough, let's get this show on the road.

This particular day Salem ordered for Ruby to get some needed rest after capturing a few villages in her name, Jaune got up from bed and got ready for another day of spreading fear around the world

He showered, brushed his teeth, puts on his black armor, his wife changed Crocea Mor's color scheme, instead of a white shield it's now black with a gold outline and their combined family symbol, instead of a blue hilt it's now blood red, instead of a silver blade it's now a black sword (like the one Sokka made from Avatar the Last Airbender)(As for Jaune's armor, it's the Rusted Knight armor but it's polished and the color is black and gold, helmet included)

Jaune walks into the kitchen where his wife made him some food to go, he grabbed the bag, kissed his wife and turned to leave when suddenly his wife stopped him

Ruby: Wait Jaune, do you know what day it is?

Jaune: Uh... Wednesday?

Ruby: No dummy it's take your daughter to work day!

Jaune: Uh I don't think it's a good idea to bring our daughter to our kind of work, at least not yet.

Ruby: I know, but she has been wanting to come with us for a while and since it's take your daughter to work day I figured now is the best time, plus she'd have my big strong dark knight as her protector~.

Jaune: Well yeah but-

Ruby caressed his face: Jaune you RoseArc-promised.

Jaune sighed: I did didn't I?

3 Hours Later

The scene shows a metal door to one of Atlesian's military bases exploded with Jaune rushes in while holding his daughter's hand but hit his head on the top of the door-way

Jaune holds his head for a second before activating his shield protecting his daughter amd himself from the bullets from the AK's

Jaune: Keep your head down Olvia!

Olivia holding a stuffed Ursa toy: Okay daddy-Whoa!

Jaune quickly dragged Olivia to cover but Olivia lost grip of her best friend.

Olivia: MR. CUZZYBOTTOM!!!

Olivia was about to run out to grab her friend but her father stopped her

Jaune looked down to his daughter and saw her pointing at her stuffed animal which is laying on the ground near the Atlesian Knights

Jaune sighs and looks at Olivia: I'll get him, you stay here where it's safe.

Jaune rushes out of cover, raised his shield and charged at the robot knights

Jaune quckly cut and sliced through the knights, grabbed the toy and rushed back to his daughter

Jaune out of breath and his daughter her toy: Here you go baby.

Salem: Who's the little girl?

Jaune nervous: Oh Lord Salem! Uh... it's bring your daughter to work day and uh I'm sorry for bringing, but my wife says we barely had time to spend together and let's be honest she's right, okay she's right!

Salem:...

Jaune even more nervous laughs a bit: Do you have kids? Cause heh I mean they change your world.

Salem:...

Jaune facepalms and mutters: Ugh I'm probably gonna get either fired or killed for this but... Fuck it.

Jaune grabs his daughter's hand: I love my daughter!

Salem brought her fist to her chest and smiles a bit: That really hits me where I'd live.

Salem noticed a survivor and used her powers to grab his neck

Salem: What have you done with those plans!? Jaune here never gets time to spend with his daughter because of PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!!

Salem snaps the survivor's neck and quickly realized there was a child present

Salem raised her other hand to her mouth: I'm so sorry you had to see that.

Salem drops the body

Salem kneels down to Olivia's eye level: Are you having fun being at work with your father?

Olivia gets nervous because she doesn't like talking to strangers and hides her face behind her father's leg

Salem chuckles: I know I'm pretty scary.

LATER IN MENAGERIE

Jaune was holding his daughter's hand as he and a White Fang goon was patroling a town looking for their targets when suddenly they come across an old man (Ozpin) wearing a hood with Weiss, Blake and Yang behind him also wearing hoods

Jaune stops them: Hold up you all seem familiar.

Ozpin uses his magic: These are not the students you're looking for.

Jaune: These are not the students we're looking for.

Olivia: Yes they are.

Ozpin: Move along

Jaune: Move along!

Ozpin and the three bitche- uh I mean students moved along going into the tavern for intel

Olivia: Daddy, You're not even trying!

Jaune: Honey, It's 110 DEGREES IN THIS CONTINENT!!! I CAN'T HEAR IN THIS THING!!! *points at his helmet* I WAS JUST REPEATING WHAT I THOUGHT THE GUY WAS SAYING! IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S MY OWN MOTHER FUCKING THOUGHT IN THE MATTER, OKAY!?

Olivia runs off crying and Jaune realized what he had done

Jaune feeling guilty and runs after his daughter: HONEY!!!

White Fang Goon: See? That's why I don't take my daugher to Jack Shit!

FEEL FREE TO ADD MORE IF YOU WANT

[sanjisboyfie]

๑ keep safe : new crewmate, tony tony chopper (11)

one piece x male reader

you lost your way, just take my hand

you're lost at sea, 

then i'll command your boat to me again 

『 prev 』

now, [name] would never call himself a heavy sleeper. in fact, he used to wake up to every sound that was around him when he was a child. but that was also due to the fact he had to be kept on his toes almost 24/7 when he was a kid.

dangerous environment and all.

so, he was really shocked to learn about all that had happened while he was resting. it was probably due to the exhaustion he was facing, especially the physical aspect of that, but still! he slept through cannons being fired, a major fight going down, and a bunch of shouts of determination.

it was a wonder how he slept through it all. and it seemed also a key event for some mockery from everyone’s favorite chef.

“what a lazy ass!” sanji said, grinning at the look on [name]’s face.

“i’m not the one who has to crawl everywhere, shut it, shitty cook!”

“shitty cook!? alright, if that’s what you really think, i’ll just feed you rat shit when we get back to the going merry!”

“oh, you think you can make that trip that easily?! considering you’d have to crawl there like a spineless vermin!”

“i’ll really kill you!” sanji shouted, but [name] only walked past him, sauntering in his steps to emphasize the fact he could walk freely while sanji was restricted in his movements.

after his back bone had given out on him, sanji was bound to crawling on the floor everywhere. and [name] took every opportunity he could get in making fun of sanji’s carelessness. like how sanji was making fun of [name] for sleeping through an entire battle right outside his window.

when he stepped out into the courtyard of the castle, it was nighttime. he had the blanket tightly wrapped around his person and looked around, trying to find anyone in the crew. but, his search was cut short when he heard luffy’s yelling.

“hey, reindeer!!! come be pirates with us!!!”

[name] smiled at the invitation, walking through the big doors and seeing luffy, usopp, and zoro all gathered in front of the castle.

“you’re so loud, luffy,” he yawned, chuckling when he saw his breath turn into puffs of white.

“woah, are you really supposed to be walking around, [name]? doctor said your injuries were pretty severe,” usopp said, looking at [name] as he stepped out in only a blanket and pants, “plus you’re really underdressed, what the hell?!”

“well, aren’t we leaving soon anyway? i got everything i need here, so let’s get to merry - where it’s nice and warm,” [name] opened up the blanket to show that he had his essentials, which really was just his sword, and grinned at them.

“doesn’t explain why you’re naked,” zoro said unimpressed.

“zoro, y’know, i missed you!” [name] cheerfully exclaimed, a complete contrast to the swordsman's disgruntled demeanor. 

the swordsman made an obvious sound of disgust at the confession, sticking his tongue out as if he was about to barf, “fuck, i think i’m gonna vomit everywhere,”

“hey!!!” [name] scolded, not appreciating that negative reaction to his confession. zoro simply held up his hand though and covered his mouth, really selling the part that he was going to vomit. or, maybe he really was going to — he didn’t seem the type to be good with sentiments.

“that’s pushing it a bit, don’t you think, seaweed?!” [name] said, turning angry. he began to chase after zoro, who threw a snowball right at his face to stop him, shouting about how he didn’t want [name] near him.

as the two were chasing after each other, usopp went back to building his snowman.

“come on, zoro, admit it you missed me too!”

“i don’t even fucking know you!!!”

they were so focused on cursing each other out, they didn’t notice that both of them had rammed into usopp’s snowman. the sniper got involved by nailing them each in the forehead with a snowball, getting revenge.

as the two then began chasing usopp, vivi and nami came out of the castle as well. but behind them was a immobile sanji, who they had to drag by his feet in order to get him places.

“hey! reindeer!” luffy said in surprise, a grin still on his face.

“tony-kun?” a genuine look of surprise was on nami’s face. she didn’t think chopper was really going to join them.

[name] stopped running after usopp, looking at the still reindeer in anticipation.

“it’s not possible!” chopper said, turning down the offer with his head held down, “i’m a reindeer, i have antlers and hooves! i even have a blue nose! it’s true that i wanna be a pirate, but i’m not even a human! i’m a monster! i can’t become your friends, so i just came to say…thank you…i do appreciate you guys and thank you for inviting me.”

[name] bit his lip to hold back his laughter, finding the sight of chopper both amusing and greatly depressing. the way chopper was so obviously fighting against his own desires, wanting to sail out to sea, just so he could appease the expectations that were set for him on the island. to see such obvious repression of freedom made [name] almost laugh at how chopper's world was going to be flipped upside down. luffy would never take no for an answer.

the zero self assurance chopper had in himself made [name] sad. chopper was special and he might have been a monster, but the reindeer failed to see the beauty in both of those things. now, [name] didn’t get the chance to see chopper fight anyone, as he was passed out completely, but he was sure it was impressive.

“so one day…if you feel like it, stop by agai-”

“shut up! let’s go!” luffy shouted, spreading his arms out into the air and stretching so far back that his hat had fallen off of his head. [name] chuckled, along with many others in the crew, before looking back at chopper’s now teary eyed form.

finally, chopper stopped fighting his hopes and nodded his head. an unhealthy amount of tears streamed down his face as well as snot, but [name] could only think of how heartwarming the sight was.

so as chopper ran back inside the castle, the rest of the strawhat crew awaited his return. [name] picked up luffy’s straw hat and secured it on their captain’s head, “nice job, captain,” he said, making luffy smile and laugh.

deciding to prepare their ascent down the castle, usopp and him worked on getting the ropeway ready.

“i feel like you definitely shouldn’t be doing any heavy work,” usopp grumbled, showing [name] how to get everything set up, “i mean your hand! aren’t there still stiches in there?”

[name] shrugged, “something as small as that isn’t gonna make me stop from helping,”

“something as small as that?! i get it, you’re insane just like those three,” usopp said, dejected at the thought of someone so strong also being on their crew, “i mean, your bounty isn’t a joke, but really? a stab to the hand isn’t a big deal to you?”

[name] laughed, a very hearty one as he slapped usopp on the back, “it’s never a big deal if it’s for the safety of your friends. you’d do the same thing, wouldn’t you?”

[name] tugged and pulled on the rope, looking up when he realized usopp had stopped working for a moment.

“i don’t know, stuff like that seems out of the question for me…i mean!! i am a brave warrior of the sea, so doing little stuff like that — pft! i don’t even-”

“usopp, you are a brave warrior of sea, why are you mocking yourself?” [name] said, tilting his head ot the side in confusion.

“i wasn’t mocking myself!” usopp said, trying to sound confident as he felt [name]’s e/c eyes boring into him, “i was confident,”

“whatever, usopp, you’ll see in the future. i’m sure you’re even more capable than me,”

“well, obviously the great captain usopp exceeds all standards!” usopp said once more in that loud voice of his, the one he used whenever he was telling lies.

“i believe you,” [name] said with a grin, finalizing the ropeway and sighing at the exercise, “this weather isn’t good for my heart, where’s chopper? we should go now,”

“it’s also not helping you’re not wearing a shirt, idiot!” usopp cried out, making [name] laugh in return.

“everyone! hop on the sleigh! we are going down the ropes!” chopper’s sudden yell made everyone turn their heads, but then their jaws dropped to see the circumstances in which they were leaving.

dr. kureha, for whatever reason, was throwing endless amounts of weapons at chopper’s running form and yelling profanities at the reindeer. chopper was running with his four legs and carrying a sled with him.

“oo! free ride!” [name] cheered, running forward and being one of the firsts to get on board. the others soon followed, zoro carelessly throwing sanji inside, and then they were off.

chopper ran at a remarkable speed carrying all of them, but it seemed he was only focused on getting to the bottom of the rope. he didn’t look back even once.

[name] laughed the entire way down, finding the urgency to leave hilarious. seeing dr. kureha so determined in driving chopper out was funny, but also sad.

he hummed in thought, not particularly liking how this island had a terrible habit of making funny things just as funny as they were depressing.

but as they were finally on solid ground, there were several bangs that were going off and they were coming from the castle. chopper eventually stopped, turning into his small form and walking towards the light that was emitting from the castle.

everyone else on the sleigh stayed behind and allowed chopper to process it by himself.

“it’s beautiful,” nami breathed out, eyes enamored with the light show.

“awesome!!!” luffy shouted, zoro nodding in agreement.

“that lady sure is funny,” [name] said, leaning against his seat on the sleigh, completely focused on the lights.

chopper began wildly crying at the sight.

”doctor! doctorine!” he shouted into the cold winter air, bellows of crying following soon after.

[name] remained silent, eyes dimming at the heartfelt goodbye. he held his open palm out to catch some of the pink snow and chuckled as he saw it melt in his hand. with the water in his hand, he focused on shaping out a jolly roger.

he smiled softly as he saw it turn solid, the pink strawhat jolly roger freezing in place.

“hah, i hate pink,” he said under his breath, making vivi turn her head towards him.

“what was that, [name]?” she asked smiling softly, not hearing what he had said. when she caught sight of the small piece of art he made in his palm, her eyes sparkled a bit.

“nothing, princess,” he assured her, pinching the ice in his hand and sadly watching it melt at his natural body heat. “nothing,”

it continued to rain pink snow until they made it to the ship, all of them leaving chopper alone to take in his farewell. well, that only lasted for so long before [name] was smothering him.

“hey, chopper, let’s go party!”

“yeah, yeah, come and sing with us!” sanji joined in.

“here, drink!”

[name] took the jug usopp was offering to chopper and handed it to zoro (who gladly took it), giving usopp a disapproving look.

“he’s too young to drink that, usopp!”

“no way, how old are you, chopper?”

“i’m-”

“here, stick these up your nose!” luffy said, breaking into the conversation and holding a pair of chopsticks for chopper to take.

the poor reindeer, who was overwhelmed by it all, had backed away slowly before he was caught by the ship’s navigator.

“you made friends with some pretty crazy guys, huh?” she asked teasingly, although there was a soft way in which she spoke. she understood that chopper was still sensitive to the goodbyes he had to share so she, unlike the men on the crew, tried to make him feel somewhat comforted.

their festivities didn’t die out one bit, usopp leading the toast in bringing chopper on board.

[name] had his own mug of coffee, lifting in up as he held chopper on his shoulders, and crying out with the rest of the crew, “cheers!”

chopper had a pair of chopsticks still in his nose and mouth as he shouted, making [name] laugh at his slurred words. the laugh seemed to infect the reindeer himself as he was left clutching his small, furry stomach in glee.

“you’re gonna patch me up after every fight, right chopper?!” [name] asked the new doctor, earning a nod in response.

“do you get in fights often, [name]?” chopper politely asked, making [name] grin so wide his eyes had crinkles at the end.

“i’m the strongest on the crew!”

“really?”

“liar, he’s a liar, chopper! don’t believe him!” luffy said, stretching his head to literally butt into the conversation, “i’m the strongest!”

“[name]’s definitely just a pain in the ass, he doesn’t know shit about fighting, chopper, don’t believe him,” zoro said, waving his hand at chopper’s question.

"[name] can’t even-”

“alright, no more shitting on me! i’ll beat all of you up, how about that?!” [name] said, throwing his mug of coffee on deck, throwing his hands up as if he were going to box.

the three seemed to take that as an invitation and before they all knew it, their four crewmates were all fighting each other. it more so  turned into a fight between zoro and sanji, as they were focused on one-upping each other, and then luffy and [name] wrestling across the deck.

“i bet [name]’s gonna win!” nami said, beris in her eyes.

“zoro, cut him up!” usopp drunkenly cheered, focusing on the other fight instead.

“is this really okay?!” chopper cried out, watching as they were all tumbling around deck to fight.

“it’s alright, chopper, just place your bets!” nami said, beri being the only thing in her eyes once more.

as they all continued to fight and laugh, [name] came out on top.

“that’s what i thought! suck my dick, you annoying assholes!” he crudely shouted into the night air, choking luffy with his own arm and having his feet planted on the back of both sanji and zoro’s heads.

“this isn’t over! i never lose!” luffy said in fury.

“why are you interfereing with our fight, idiot!?” zoro shouted.

"you won't be so confident when i kick you overboard into the freezing ocean! ” sanji threatened.

“see that, chopper! i’m the real winner!!!” [name] said confidently, grinning from ear to ear as he showed chopper his strength, “be like me, okay?!”

nami sighed and shook her head as [name] began infecting chopper’s naive mind whilst vivi only could chuckle behind her hand.

sanji and zoro both tackled [name] after his proud exclamation, ruining the pedestal [name] had put himself on for chopper. the reindeer still was looking at him in amazement though as he now was fighting both zoro and sanji at the same time.

despite their violent celebrations, though, all of them gathered in the boy’s dorm and shared their company with one another. there were enough hammocks for everyone and the going merry finally got to hear some peace and quiet.

well, as peace and quiet it can get with zoro snoring loud enough for everyone to hear.

the next morning, everyone was still upbeat and energetic over their new crewmate, plus the fact nami was feeling much better now. [name] brewed himself a cup of coffee, sliding one over to nami, “look, i saved enough for the two of us to drink!”

the orange haired girl grinned, nodding her head in thanks and taking a sip of the mug. she blinked, pleasantly surprised by the taste.

“woah, [name] this is really good,” she praised, making him shrug in response, “make my coffee from now on, alright?” a cheeky grin was on her face and [name] had a feeling that there was some underlying motive. just as he was about to question her, she continued on, “you know, i couldn’t properly calculate how many coffee beans of mine you had eaten…so let’s just mark the total to: 100,000 beri. for every cup of coffee you make me, i can take that price down 3%.”

“oi!!!” [name] said, jaw dropped as she revealed it was all a ploy to get her money’s worth.

“now, now, i don’t want to hear complaints! that’s even after my discount since you nursed me back to health! just be glad i’m even applying a low fee,” she said, taking the cup of coffee and waltzing out of the kitchen as if she didn’t send [name] into an impossible debt.

he was still standing in place and looking at the coffee in his hands, deflating at he knew that nami was dead serious when it came to getting her money back. well, he may as well make the most of his delicious coffee as it may be the last he’ll have for a while.

if nami was charging him for the individual coffee beans, he didn’t want to think about how much a whole cup would cost.

he met the rest of the crew on deck, eagerly walking over when he saw them sitting in a circle with cards.

“ah, don’t join us, we already gave out the hand,” zoro said, already predicting what [name]’s first words were going to be.

“i’ll watch!” [name] said, taking a seat right behind the swordsman. zoro couldn’t do much to shoo away the man from there, allowing him to look at his hand.

“don’t say stupid shit now, this is for real beri!” zoro said, a smirk on his face as he saw the unfolding of the rest of the cards. “i’m gonna win! i think i owe that greedy hag some money anyway…”

“hell no, i’m taking all the winnings, nami is gonna do my head in if i don’t repay her soon…” usopp whined, seemingly dejected at the sight of his cards.

“don’t bad mouth nami-san! i’m happy to be in her debt,” sanji said, ever the prince, “if it means she’ll look my way again for another day, i am eternally grateful!”

as expected, it seemed everyone was in debt to nami.

[name] looked on with wide eyes as the rest of the cards were shown in the middle, eager to see sanji and usopp’s.

chopper came running to them and around circles, yelling about something regarding luffy, but unfortunately, the game was just getting interesting and no one in their circle was willing to move.

[name] prodded at zoro’s side, making the swordsman scowl at him. but then he saw [name]’s satisfied smile and then returned it. zoro’s hand was really, really good actually, and there was no way he’d lose it. he would definitely win! their matching mischevious grins showed how confident they were.

just as the trio were going to reveal their hands, luffy and the “trouble” he got himself into came crashing into all of them. it left them all sprawled out on deck, the cards that they were holding now loosely flying in the wind.

“huh? are you guys sleeping?” luffy’s oblivious voice asked.

“it’s your fault!” they all shouted, springing into the air and angrily glaring at their captain.

“how are you gonna fix this situation! i had a good hand!” usopp shouted.

“really? sorry!” luffy said and at the sight of his wide smile, [name] felt his annoyance bubble down.

instead he came running over and looking at the “catch” up close. he kicked it a couple of times with his foot and suddenly felt himself get hungry.

“that’s pretty huge,” zoro commented, a smirk on his face, “now we can have some decent meals,”

“sanji, cook it now!” [name] childishly commanded.

briskly walking over to the bird, and slapping his hand down on [name]’s head as he passed, sanji commented on how they didn't have time to prep a whole bird for feasting on.

“oh, but i bet if nami-san or vivi-chan,” [name] said in a mocking of the blonde’s voice when he spoke their names, “asked, you’d do it right away, perv!”

“come on! let’s fight right now, shit for brains, i’ll throw you overboard!” sanji said, about to kick [name], if it weren’t for nami’s interference.

“guys! we are about to land at alabasta soon, this isn’t the time to be joking around. come on!” she commanded, successfully getting sanji off of [name]’s back and gathering them all at the center of merry.

“so what’s alabasta?” chopper asked curiously.

“alabasta is a country that vivi’s dad governs,” nami patiently replied.

“there’s a rogue named crocodile that’s trying to take over it right now,”

“i hear that crocodile is one of the sevel warlords of the sea,” sanji added in, but chopper only seemed to become more confused.

“seven warlords of the sea?” he echoed, a blank look on his face.

“they’re pirates that are under the world government,” [name] said, a smirk on his face as he thought of the seven pirates, “they’re a bunch of dogs, basically,”

“hey, hold on, that’s really undermining them,” nami said, a pointed look on her face, “chopper, the seven warlords are really strong people.”

“i could take them,” [name] said, making chopper turn to him in shock.

“really? [name], you could?!”

just as [name] was going to reply, usopp knocked him on the head to interrupt, “don’t pay attention to this guy, he’s not normal, chopper. he’s insane, even. the seven warlords are crazy strong, they can easily crush any other pirate — that’s why the government employs them in the first place.”

“my point still stands, they’re just dogs,” [name] shrugged, showing clear dislike to both the world government and the seven warlords.

vivi, who was curious as to why, was about to ask what grudge [name] had against both parties, but luffy had cut her off, “crocodile, huh…? i can’t wait to see him!” the fist luffy was holding up seemed to emphasize his point.

“crocodile is a hero in alabasta because he crushes the pirates that attack towns,” vivi explained to the crew, “but that’s only his public act! behind the scenes, he’s the one pulling the strings that caused the civil war in alabasta, in order to take over alabasta. no one has noticed it…the citizens, my father…no one!!!”

[name] grinned sadistically, licking his lips at the thought of beating a warlord.

“all right then! in any case, all we have to do is beat up that crocodile, right?” luffy exclaimed, punching his fist into his open hand. he had that same stupid grin on his face, but seeing it only made [name]’s grin turn wider.

“yes, if we can first stop the civil war and expel baroque works…” vivi said, a determined look in her eyes.

“well, i already promised you i’d beat crocodile up, so taking care of his underlings shouldn’t be too bad,” [name] said, imagining the many weaker and fodder pirates that were acting under crocodile.

“hey! i’m gonna be the one to take down crocodile!” luffy shouted stubbornly at [name], “he’s my enemy, i put dibs on him since the beginning!”

“well, i told vivi i’d take care of crocodile the moment i saw him, so you can take your dibs back, luffy,” [name] said, not at all intimidated by luffy’s childish nature.

“i’m the captain, whatever i say goes!”

“why do you always pull the captain card at the most inconvenient times?!” [name] snarled.

“see chopper, i told you, [name]’s an insane man. arguing with our own captain on taking down a warlord…a bad example, indeed,” usopp whispered to their newest crewmate, who seemed to simply nod his head in agreement. “these are the qualms of strong men,”

“well, vivi, explain to us the system that the organization works in,” nami said, punching both luffy and [name] for arguing in the middle of a serious conversation. it effectively shut the two of them up. “if we are going to take down the whole system, as [name] said.”

the h/c haired boy grinned in reassurance, “i’ll kill them all,”

it was unsettling to see such a serious and violent sentiment be conveyed through a friendly smile.

“well, the actual system is simple. at the top, there’s crocodile, mr. 0, the boss. then there are 12 agents and one animal who receives orders from the boss directly. each of the 12 agents operates separately with a female agent.

“mr. 1 and miss double finger, then mr. 2, who doesn’t have a partner…”

“mr. 3 is the candle man we met in little garden, right?” zoro interrupted, making vivi nod her head in confirmation.

“yes, he was paired with miss golden week,”

sanji and [name] looked at each other, blank expressions on their faces as they didn’t get the chance to meet — or even see — the pair that the crew were talking about.

“mr. 4 is paired up with miss merry christmas, i don’t know much about these two either.”

“then there’s a snot guy!” usopp proudly proclaimed. making usopp turn to him in confusion.

“snot?”

“yeah, when he sneezes there are sharp knives that come from his nose,” [name] said, lying to the poor reindeer.

“don’t lie to the new member!” nami scolded, bringing her fist down onto [name]’s head once again.

“well, [name] wasn’t too far off, his whole body is a weapon,” vivi explained in a more refined way, “miss valentine has the powers of the kilo-kilo fruit.”

“stupid ass fruit,” [name] said under his breath, making luffy laugh at his crude words.

“the woman that can change her weight freely, right?” at the question, vivi simply nodded.

vivi went on to explain more of the agents, but [name] felt himself zoning out. whoever their opponents were, it didn’t matter. he’d crush all of them. it sounded like an easy enough mission.

he leaned on the railing of the merry, looking out at the vast ocean. mindlessly, he caused some shapes to form in the ocean, grinning as he saw the water fluidly obey.

defeating devil fruit users, or anyone for that matter, was easy when you had the sea at your beck and call. [name] had perfectly good reason to be confident. hopefully, he’d get to show off some of the reason as to why the world government so badly wanted his head on a platter.

『 prev 』 ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🌊 ꒱ 『 next 』

_

taglist (lmk if u want to be tagged <3 !):

@skullr0se , @strawberrii-tea

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 17

only nearly 50% of the way through this book and we’re already on day four. and the description that ‘Hot Sauce draws her gun’ on this day is very ominous

‘That fucking shuttle’ Palamedes i am not as smart as you, i am both very concerned and totally clueless about what Palamedes realised about the shuttle. i guess my main theories are Pyrrha has either been taken/went willingly for some unknown reason to the Emperor’s shuttle, or she’s been taken into BoE custody for some reason??

from We Suffer’s perspective i guess it makes sense that she wants Nona to be Harrow, because despite their overall perspective on necromancy, having a Lyctor who could actually help them fight against the Houses could be incredibly helpful for BoE. at least i hope its that because Harrow did help kill an awful lot of planets in the last book, and i imagine some of BoE might want revenge

ohhhhmfg Pal and Cam’s situation is so tragic. Palamedes has technically survived but from his perspective he’s doing exactly what he rejected so firmly in GtN, killing her. this is just cruel 

and for all my theorising about Nona i didn’t consider what Pal suggests here, that Nona’s some kind of full soul merger of Harrow and Gideon. for starters i think its unlikely, given Nona has her similarities but is very different in many unique ways to both of them. and on a more personal level i just hope thats not the case because i like my character’s souls unmerged please and thank you

i wonder if Nona’s going to be able to do something about the RB eventually, given she seems to be able to understand it. also describing it as ‘low[ing] sadly, like a cow’ feels like a very pointed comparison given John apparently killed a whole bunch of cows a couple chapters ago. i mean i have no clue what the fuck it could mean or why but it feels significant 

i’m still very intrigued as to whose side the Angel is on. based on her story here she’s clearly not associated with the Houses, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s with BoE either. she’s kind to Nona and a good teacher to the kids seemingly but i still think she’s suspicious and don’t fully trust her 

the absolute irony of John’s motivations apparently being to save the Earth and everyone from climate change, only to years later be killing planets and using them for mining 

‘An interesting group, your family’ ohhh shit, first Hot Sauce and now the Angel seem to be taking note of the strangeness of Nona’s situation. and i’m curious whats up with Hot Sauce and the Angel’s relationship, what with her having already told Hot Sauce the survival advice she gives the rest, and Hot Sauce being so determined to look out for her. i wonder if Hot Sauce has confided in the Angel about Nona’s cut not healing, and thats why they seem suspicious of Nona’s family here

oooh is Nona’s drawing that seems to disturb the Angel an awful lot her drawing her dreams, of Gideon maybe?

oh the kid’s plan and swearing this oath is going to go so so badly. i feel like there’s no way they’re not gonna find out Nona’s related to necromancy sooner rather than later

wtf Hot Sauce is very ruthlessly practical about Born in the Morning’s dads being ‘baggage’. its  hard to believe she’s roughly the same age as Jeannemary was in GtN. like don’t get me wrong, Jeannemary went through an awful lot but she and Isaac were also ‘annoying teens’ in the way Hot Sauce really hasn’t gotten to be 

[7nessasaryevils]

And so we begin... Gods I'm terrified... ep 7 of Wandee Goodday: how shall thee fuck me up?

- oh great we starting it right off with fucking cuddling on Yak's chest this is such normal non-boyfriend behaviour 🙄😑

- Yak my darling, if you're looking for psychiatrists, I'd recommend one that isn't a crazed Naga prince hell-bent on revenge on a reincarnated chicken... just saying 🤷🏾‍♀️ - although I am immensely in love that Dee does bring up therapy for Yak 🥹🥹

- them just comforting each other in a physical way that isn't sex... IM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

- I have never hated a title sequence more than when it came right before I know yak was about to ask for a kiss as his reward 😤😡

- Yak being so fucking comfortable in Dee's space... I hate you both and I'm going to smush your faces together if it's the last thing I do

- WHAT PICTURE WAS THAT MY EYES SUCK!!never mind it was ter now im wishing my brain can unsee it

- yak my darling he loves you I promise!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- not me barely taking in the fact that Dee kept the picture rather than throwing it out (which... I will shake you for Dee!!) and then getting fucking smacked in the face with the first kiss poster... P'Golf you test me today

- normally I don't condone vandalism but today... YEAH YAK RIP IT

- Kao our king asking the important questions as always! (Psst shake him harder Kao please and thanks)

- Ter... I swear to god you try some shit I will snap you in half (though the sunlight is doing ✨fabulous ✨ things for Pod!) edit: in retrospect that sunlight is literally turning his eyes red P'Golf you actual fucking genius

- me as soon as ter starts speaking

- pfft Cher you absolute king ♥️♥️

-uhhh... is this the weight training equivalent of that pottery scene from Ghost??

- ohhh they're so stupid i wanna die

- Cher and Yak are the mother son relationship I never knew I needed ♥️

- CANDLE LIGHT DINNER

- TER I WILL END YOU

- ohhhh i have a bad feeling about this... but also Dee.. you dumbass put on pants at the very least when you're entering a snake's house!

- this sequence of events is most horrific and terrible and I do not like it

- I'm going to kill Ter. Anyone who stops me... beware my wrath. Yak should've broken his fucking nose.

- also the fact that Ter lives in room 666. HE IS THE DEVIL YOU ARE SO RIGHT

- nooooo yak! Baby!!

- Kao. sir. I'm going to conquer empires in your name! MY KING!!

- the break up episode is meant to be #11 not # 8 what is this?!??

- not the necklace... no please not the necklace

- I hate everything nobody talk to me

- oh cool yak made it hurt even more im going to rip out my eyeballs thanks

- NOT DEE REACHING UP FOR THE NECKLACE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

- the worst the worst the worst I'm in pain

- that's it. That's fucking it. Someone get me Vegas Therapanyakul on the phone right now, I need to order a fucking hi- never mind the idiot doctor fell asleep. My sincerest wish is that Dee knees Ter in the balls as he gets up.

- Taem baby girl what was that??? 😦😦🤨🤨🤨

- sassy english my beloved 🤣🤣

- oh... ohhh no no no no no no- oh what the fuck what the fuck YAK CONCENTRATE BABY

- did i fucking expect the grim reaper? No. And neither did Yak if that right hook was any indication ouch!

- yak and yei fighting... this epsiode really said how can i hurt Nessie today....

- ohhhh fucking fuckity fuck why won't this epsiode let me BREATHE

- yak's face when he see Dee!!!! His teary eyes!!! I ACHE THANKS

- ROOF TOP KISS SCENE MY FUCKING BELOVED IM SO FUCKING OKAY GEWNFUCKINGCHANA 😭😭😭😭

- also throwback to The Sign and their bolster light effect I have never been the same again

- I 'm just gonna die in a corner bye don't look for me I do not exist to any of you

This episode has finally culminated in the kiss we all have been waiting for and I don't know about any of you but I feel the same as I did three years ago watching Bad Buddy. The absolute joy and heartache in me as these boys who so clearly love and care for each other finally acknowledge their feelings.

Next episode is also coming for my existence and I shall keep myself alive until then to regale you all with my incoherent screams ♥️

Until next time! 🥊🩺

[t0ast-ghost]

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock thoughts!

Wow Wrath of Khan left us on a total cliffhanger so I’m glad I can just watch the next movie instead of waiting (checks google) …2 years. Goddamn. Anyway!

Warning for strong language and spoilers

Let’s get schmoving:

- They’re throwing us RIGHT BACK IN with the saddest scene ever

- SAREKS GONNA BE IN THIS ONE?! Hi bitch

- KLINGONS RAHHHH

- GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH (edit: I love the Klingon monster dog <3)

- is that Janice Rand?

- Who’s in Spock’s room??

- CHEKOV ACTUALLY GETS TO SPEAK RUSSIAN

- “Jim, help me.” WHAT WHAT WHAT

- Jim lost one husband and the other is possessed by spirits and having visions

- McCoy can do a pretty good Spock impression

- McCoy is now two husbands in one. Two for the price of one kinda deal

- Stabbing me would elicit less emotion.

- LET SCOTTY REST OR LET HIM STAY ON THE ENTERPRISE

- Kirk has lost both his husbands and is now losing his ship. When will the pain and suffering cease?

- they slay

- Saavik commenting on how David is human like Kirk. Saavik saying fascinating like Spock. David and Saavik working together like the awesome siblings they are. I’m getting everything from this movie

- Did they have to make Sulu slay that hard? Yes.

- THEY PUMPED MCCOY FULL OF TRANQUILIZERS ?!? NO!!

- HII BITCH! It’s ambassador Sarek!

- “Sarek, your son meant more to me than you could know. I would give my life if it could save his.” That’s- nevermind. They’re husbands. Yada yada you get it

- okay. So Sarek was helpful. That’s a… rare occurrence

- “Then it’s my responsibility.” “Yours?” Yes! Of course it’s Kirk’s! They’re his husbands!

- “You’ll destroy yourself. Do you understand me, Jim?” The only people Jim would understand in these circumstances are mayybe Spock and McCoy but they’re not here. So he’s gonna do something stupid.

- Sulu’s outfit is going so hard

- McCoy’s at the club? He should be at the club!

- I LOBE HIS SPOCK COMING OUT OMG “to order poison at a bar is not logical.” God he’s got tho (edit: got what?)

- McCoy mixed with Spock is so funny cause it’s all of McCoy’s anger tampered down with a couple of added in logic’s

- HE TRIED TO NERVE PINCH HIM AND FAILED WHAT A LOSER LOL

- babygirl sleeping position

- “Revenge for all the arguments I won.” I like how McCoy knows Spock would be that petty

- Kirk not afraid to punch a bitch

- Sulu flips a guy IN HEELS and then proceeds to destroy a console… icon shit. He’s my hero “don’t call me tiny.”

- “Up your shaft.” Scotty ain’t taking shit

- This kid is about to get ratioed by Uhura so hard. I love her. SHE PULLED A GUN ON HIS ASS

- They’re so hot in this movie holy crap

- “Are you just gonna walk through them?!” “Calm yourself, Doctor.”

- McCoy’s standing there on the bridge after they escape the loading dock like ‘..did they just hijack and deactivate an entire starship for me?’

- Saavik’s hair is so cool

- IS THAT A CHILD

- ‘Marcus believes that Genesis has regrown Mr. Spock’ the captain is so shook like ‘uhhhhhh.. that’s amazing?…!’

- Tiny Spock is so cute omg

- welp.. Klingons

- BONES WITH SPOCKS VOICE IS SO FREAKY WTF

- A dick monster just attacked the Klingons

- Saavik must be relieved to hear her dad’s husband Kirk’s come to rescue them

- OHHH GOD. They’re gonna kill David. Oh no. Davids gonna die. He’s dead oh god. Kirk’s defeated little “David?” Oh my… god

- THEY KEPT THE “zero zero zero destruct zero” CODE??? That’s so funny

- Super cool moment. Love them

- He was having his period (edit: who? Probably Kirk? Not sure) (edit edit: it’s about young Spock grabbing his stomach in pain from pon farr but to be fair Kirk is the usual suspect for grabbing his stomach when in pain)

- So… they’re in hell. The planet is becoming a fire pit

- “Sorry about your crew, but as we say on earth c’est la vie.” God. this bitch.

- Kirk not afraid to kick a bitch… into lava

- “Help us or die.” “I do not deserve to live.” “Fine, I’ll kill you later.” Kirk is sooo done. He’s done.

- “Wait. You said you would kill me.” “I lied.”

- McCoy asking Spock for help D:

- I’m not ready for this moment- and neither is my computer cause it’s low power

- “I’m gonna tell you something that I never thought I’d hear myself say. But it seems I’ve missed you, and I don’t know if I could stand to lose you again.” mccoy- what what. What. What what. What

- I like the little hug between Kirk and Uhura

- Scotty looking between Saavik and the ceremony like ‘what the f- heck is going on?’

- So, Bones is alive. yippee!

- Saavik looking down and away from Spock when he gives her no emotion is so telling. She feels bad.

- “Why would you do this?” “Because the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.” JUST SAY YOU LOVE HIM smh

- They’re just staring at each other for a solid couple of seconds which I- personally - think should have been utilized by Spock going to kiss Kirk

- Leonard is so happy to have Spock back

- Group hug ! :3

That was pretty good. I enjoyed a lot of the McCoy scenes and the David and Saavik stuff. I like in the end credits they finally include Leonard Nimoy’s name because in the opening it would have been spoilers to have all the ‘as Spock’ actors names. Welp onto the next.

Masterpost

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

Sorry for bringing discourse onto your blog but your post just reminded me of when I saw an unhinged rant abt how “if they have a senior year all the parents of the rat grinders should try and violently murder the bad kids and when tbk ask for redemption instead it isn’t given to them.” And I get that like you wanted your thematic bullshit or whatever but you LITERALLY just advocated for a munch of adults to kill teenagers without mercy bc of tbk not thinking twice when they need to save the ENTIRE world. Idk maybe we’ve lost the plot a little.

OH BABY! We've lost the plot in Costco and need to find a responsible grown-up to help us find it again.

Anon, that's the funniest thing I've seen in a while because... didn't the Bad Kids just take down Oisin's Grandma not one episode ago? I'm sorry, what are the Copperkettles gonna do? Bobby Dawn (to quote Gorgug) is a regular freak. Henry can get someone to cast Plane Shift and go get Ruben back. Like, damn, I WISH the Ratgrinders' parents would show up so they can come get their kids, the fuck?

Also... The Bad Kids would never beg for anything not even redemption. Especially not from some adults who were about to kill them. They'd flip them off and insult them on a deep level only teenagers can before dying glorious deaths. And then they'd find each other across afterlives, figure out how to get back to the Material Plane and get revenge. Because what does death mean to the kids who died on the first day of school?

[g4yforethan]

the help

pairing: mickey altieri x male!reader 

summary: reader plans revenge against sidney prescott but with the help of mickey, the two of them begin to fall for each other (credit to @akiraackerman19 for the plot) 

warnings: kissing, cursing!

you had just lost your mother due to your dad having an affair with someone else. now, you’ve lost your brother too. although he was sick in the head, he was still your brother and grief came and went. your brother was billy loomis and the person who killed him was sidney prescott. every night, you sought to plan revenge against sidney for what she and her mother did to your family. it also didn’t help that sidney became an overnight celebrity and your family’s name was tarnished. a year had passed and your plan was almost complete. you wanted to finish what billy had started and honor him so you followed sidney to windsor college. you arrived there and ran into her in the library. “sidney prescott?” she looked behind her and recognized you immediately. “oh my god. y/n loomis?” “in the flesh. it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other huh?” “yes i mean after what happened 2 years ago, you and i have never had the chance to speak.” “i know it’s been a crazy couple of years. i’m sorry for what happened with you and my brother. for everything he caused to you and your family.” you notice sidney starts to tear up and she gets up and gives you a hug. “you are nothing like him y/n. remember that.” the two of you talk for a little while and go your separate ways. you start to feel guilt for your plan on the way to your dorm room but when you arrive to your room, you notice someone sitting in a chair writing notes. he notices you standing in the doorway. “oh hi there.” “um hello. i thought i was going to be the only one in this dorm room.” “you were until i was told you are billy loomis’ brother.” “what does that have to do with anything?” “are you kidding me? you’re telling you don’t have any craziness in your genes. i mean it’s kinda obvious with what’s in your closet.” you walk over to your closet and realized that you forgot to stash away the ghostface costume. “listen. i had a very sick plan that i am no longer going through with.” “you can’t. it’s a perfect plan. i’ve wanted to finish billy’s plan too. that bitch prescott doesn’t know what’s coming her way.” you couldn’t help but notice how insanely attractive he was. ‘i’m sorry i didn’t ask your name.” “mickey. mickey altieri.”

as the weeks went on, the two of you got closer and closer to each other and the plan was coming together. one night in your dorm room, the two of you talked about other things besides the plan. “so after this is over are we just gonna run away or do you want to be caught?” you asked mickey who was laying next to you in bed. “ i mean getting caught would be pretty cool. have an insane trial about the attacks and hopefully get put on death penalty but i have another idea. you and i run away together.” “why would you want to do that instead?” “because i feel things for you. i feel like i have to protect you and make sure you’re safe after this.” “that’s really sweet. you care about me.” you start to tease mickey about it but notice he is being serious. “i just want to be with you. always. you’re the only one who truly gets me.” the two of you stare at each other before you start to lean in for a kiss. his hands touch your face while you feel on his shoulders and back. “do you want to do this?” he whispers to you. “yes” you reply back. he takes his shirt off as do you and he starts to touch your back and waist. he admires your physique and kisses your neck and chest. you go on top of him and kiss on his neck while he scratches your back which makes you moan in pleasure. you go down and kiss his belly area and reach his pants. you look at him and he nods giving you permission to unbuckle his jeans. you tease him and start to suck and you hear mickey moan and roll his eyes back. “i’m almost there. i’m going to-” you go even harder and are delighted to hear mickey moan and grab onto your hair. you lay on his chest as he plays with your hair. “did you like that?” “i loved every second of it.” you blush and give him another kiss.

author’s note: reply in the comments if i should do a part 2 where mickey and the reader reveal themselves to sidney and run away! 

[wawamouse]

Oz Rewatch 3: S5E03: Dream a Little Dream of Me

Storylines

Miguel gets out of the hospital, scores are settled according to Morales; Jaime Velez wants to join Miguel; Miguel tells him to kill Chico

Rebadow wants Brass to buy a lottery ticket for him

Brass talks to McManus

Jia Kenmin returns to Oz; has an interaction session with Cyril; Li Chen arrives at Oz; tension with O’Reilys

Redding and Morales make a deal

Schibetta wants to take revenge and move against the Aryans; Said refuses to held; Peter confronts the Aryans alone as it raped again

Penders tries to cash in on a favor from Glynn and is rebuffed

Keller returns to Oz and is placed in PC; Keller is being investigated for the college kid killings

Said continues to struggle with anger; interaction session with Schillinger; Said tells Omar not to talk to Poet; Said catches Omar buying drugs from Poet; expressing an interest in singing, Omar gets a singing lesson

Sister Pete group counseling, Augustus sad about divorce

Bikers go to kill Cloutier but are stopped; Cloutier appears to Hoyt as a vision and tells him to kill Kirk; Hoyt stakes him in the stomach with a cross; Cloutier vanishes; Hoyt confesses to several murders

Sister: I hate his tattoo so much. Me: Yeah, and that’s a real one, too.

Sister: Why would your guy not be happy about scores being settled? Me: ‘Cause he just wants to bother Miguel, that’s why. Sister: Why doesn’t he go fight the white guys? Me: ‘Cause he just wants to bother Miguel. Sister: It doesn’t make sense… Me: He just wants to bother Miguel.

Sister: No, not that! It’s going to be too dangerous— Miguel: Kill Guerra. Sister: SEE, I told you! …Who’s Guerra? Is that your guy Me: 😑 He’s not my guy… Sister: What, he belongs to the streets? Me: 😑

Sister: I think he’s going to buy the lottery ticket and win and then he’s going to keep it for himself.

Me: He’s doing that Asian bullshitting thing right now, don’t you think? Sister: Totally… Pretending he reflected, LOL… Playing the Buddhist angle...

Sister: “Li Chen”? How lazy can you be? (It's a pretty generic name)

Sister: Jia Kenmin… why’s his name like that? Me: Yeah, it’s kind of old-fashioned. It’s like Daddy’s generation of names… Sister: No, I mean, they say it the Chinese way… Me: Oh, I know! I was literally wondering about that the other day!

Sister: His hair looks so bad. Me: Yeah, the length really accentuates his hairline in a bad way. Sister: It’s medieval squire length…. Me: It’s not doing him any favors… It looks good short, though. Sister: It’s not short, though, is it?

Sister: Not the butt pop… His booty muscles… Me: His butt’s definitely up there in the rankings…

Me: I wonder what determines whether they use the sinks here or their cells. Sister: Yeah, I’d just use the one in my cell. Especially because that guy (Augustus/Narrator) said that you could get shanked in the shower if you turn your back.

Me: I wonder if they only did this singing plot line for him because the actor was in The Five Heartbeats… Sister: What’s that? Me: It’s a mini-series about like this fictional motown group… The guy who played Jefferson Keane is also in it. Sister: Oh, then they definitely did it because of that.

Sister: Why would they put him here to guard a civilian? What’s he gonna do if a prisoner gets agitated? Hobble over? He should be on desk duty. Me: He didn’t want to be on desk duty. Sister: So? They need to put him on it anyway. And if he quits because he hates sitting at a desk too much, then their problems are solved anyway. They don’t have to worry about a liability and they don’t got to pay anything, either, ‘cause he quit himself…

Sister: She gets way too involved with her patients, man…

Sister: He’s risen and he’s hiding in the laundry room.

Stray Thoughts

The apparent gang tattoo on Jia Kenmin’s hand just says “blood” btw

Sister: The have the guy in the wheelchair talking about his wife again and still nothing from the Muslim guy whose wife was also on the bus…