#d20 wank

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

Sorry for bringing discourse onto your blog but your post just reminded me of when I saw an unhinged rant abt how “if they have a senior year all the parents of the rat grinders should try and violently murder the bad kids and when tbk ask for redemption instead it isn’t given to them.” And I get that like you wanted your thematic bullshit or whatever but you LITERALLY just advocated for a munch of adults to kill teenagers without mercy bc of tbk not thinking twice when they need to save the ENTIRE world. Idk maybe we’ve lost the plot a little.

OH BABY! We've lost the plot in Costco and need to find a responsible grown-up to help us find it again.

Anon, that's the funniest thing I've seen in a while because... didn't the Bad Kids just take down Oisin's Grandma not one episode ago? I'm sorry, what are the Copperkettles gonna do? Bobby Dawn (to quote Gorgug) is a regular freak. Henry can get someone to cast Plane Shift and go get Ruben back. Like, damn, I WISH the Ratgrinders' parents would show up so they can come get their kids, the fuck?

Also... The Bad Kids would never beg for anything not even redemption. Especially not from some adults who were about to kill them. They'd flip them off and insult them on a deep level only teenagers can before dying glorious deaths. And then they'd find each other across afterlives, figure out how to get back to the Material Plane and get revenge. Because what does death mean to the kids who died on the first day of school?

[pendragyn]

What ACOC fanon are people getting so upset over?

Come traveler. Let me tell you a tale. For I, too, was unaware of it until they went absolutely bugfuck all over Twitter. But if you don't want the whole long-winded epic: people shipped Belizabeth Brassica and Saint Citrina and while there has been no evidence indicating this will or not be confirmed or even mentioned they FREAKED OUT about how Matt would OBVIOUSLY destroy the "widespread" fanon (it is not widespread), specifically implying he'd do so in a bigoted way. Then some D20 guests noticed because the people saying this are not like, unknown fanartists (in fact one implied they had been asked to create art for the season but forgot to check their DMs) and were like "this is entitled and stupid and needlessly cruel to Matt, who is like, a guy we personally know and generally like." The people then, rather than saying "my B" and taking this to the DMs like a normal person who wants to talk shit, repeatedly doubled down. As of a few hours ago they were accusing Jasmine Bhullar of subtweeting them when she was in fact merely promoting an entirely unrelated show, it's sparked both a heartfelt discussion about how Matt's discussion of body dysmorphia has helped people and a conversation about how there's toxicity in all fandoms but the D20 community refuses to even acknowledge it; and also I think they've burned their chances of ever doing fan art for an actual play of any size in LA, Chicago, New York, London, or the centroid that represents an equidistant point from all the McElroys which is, I believe, hilariously for Amnesty fans, in the Monongahela National Forest.

Anyway POV we're around a campfire, I'm drinking something lightly alcoholic, and you wish to hear of The Drama At Length:

Do you remember Belizabeth Brassica, aka Broccoli Pope loosely based in appearance on Queen Elizabeth I (technically renaissance rather than high medieval but like...people constantly mix those up in D&D so it's fine)?

Great. Now do you remember the Rocks Sisters? Not the twins played by Siobhan and Emily; Amethar's four older sisters who died in the Ravening War, before the story started: Rococoa, Lazuli, Citrina, and Sapphria. Rococoa was a general; Lazuli an archmage (and Caramelinda's wife before she died; Caramelinda then married Amethar because while Lazuli had been a love match, this was a beneficial marriage for political purposes); Citrina a devotee of The Bulb; and Sapphria a spy and diplomat. They get talked about a lot, for sure, but their presence in the story is to be absent and to haunt the narrative.

Anyway the fanon is that Citrina and Belizabeth were in a relationship. In canon, I believe all we know is that both were devotees of the bulb; that Citrina held positions that might be considered heretical by some (she was a passionate believer in love matches and supported Amethar's marriage to a commoner in the Dairy Isles) and that Belizabeth ordered that she be killed.

Here's where this gets fun. So ACOC aired pretty much exactly three years ago, and while I think it's considered by many to be a high point in D20's oeuvre, a lot of fans have, you know, kept up with D20 on the whole and not dwelt on it in depth. But a small group of people have been consistently focused on this ship between an NPC who is vitally important to the narrative but shows up in fewer than a third of the total episodes; and a character dead before the story ever started. Which, I need to stress, is fine; the joy of headcanons is playing in the empty spaces.

Flash forward to 2023: a creative director who was generally opposed to revisiting past campaign settings and preferred standalone has just amicably parted ways. Neverafter has gotten mixed reviews (I have to see the last 8 episodes; this is anecdotal but some of the editing choices, plus the both dense yet meandering plot, brought the momentum of a truly fantastic TPK and resolution early on to a shuddering halt), and really nothing but A Court of Fey and Flowers has truly stuck for some time. The fandom has been clamoring for Fantasy High Junior Year for quite some time to no avail. The switch to 10-episode sidequests from 6 episode sidequests has met lukewarm reception. In short: D20 could use something flashy to revitalize their next sidequest. Enter: Matt Mercer as DM.

Now, a lot of D20 fans who are not part of the (significant) overlap with CR fans hate Matt Mercer. This is in part because a lot of people who got Big Mad about ships in Campaign 2 went to D20 and proceeded to badmouth Critical Role, a show they happily watched and made art for until roughly episode 107-ish of Campaign 2, proclaiming it homophobic (wrong two women kissed); racist (one of the women who kissed is a dark-skinned woman played by a white woman, which would have still been true if she kissed the other woman but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯); and probably problematic in other ways. To be clear I am not saying Critical Role is above criticism, and it has made its missteps, but like, the fact that these complaints showed up conveniently only when a ship didn't happen and mostly from like, white teenagers who proceeded to simultaneously call the cast transphobic and deliberately get their names wrong means this is not the criticism that is valid and worth considering, as is the fact that technically Matt had nothing to do with the ship not happening, but they've realized being an asshole to Marisha about her character's romantic choices will rightfully get you flayed alive. Also some D20 fans just hate Critical Role in the way that if you live in Boston you're supposed to hate New York and vice versa but if you say "why? what if I just want the baseball boys to have a good time together?" no one can answer.

Anyway here's a diagram to illustrate the group I'm talking about; they're the green dot:

So: a couple of them decided a smart thing to do on Twitter in front of God and everybody was to say that they were worried Matt would contradict this "widely established" fanlore because he is not plugged into the ACOC fandom. They then proceeded to specifically (jokingly, but like, in a shitty way, still where everyone could see it) say that Matt would probably introduce Belizabeth as being married to her husband because she is 100% straight.

Now there's a bunch of problems here, and people pointed them out. Namely:

This is a weird thing to assume Matt would do, ie, automatically make an arbitrary NPC definitely straight, even if you're joking about it; like, he has a pretty decent track record for making NPCs of varying genders and sexualities, especially by C2 and C3.

This is not even widely established fanlore; this is a tiny group of fans of ACOC. See below for more on that.

Even if it were widely established fanlore, it's unlikely Brennan would know either.

Even if it were widely established fanlore and Matt or Brennan were aware of it, they are under no obligation to adhere to fanlore, because it's fanlore, not the established canon of A Crown of Candy. This does not make fanlore bad! It just means that creators are allowed to ignore it in the same way that fan creators are allowed to ignore canon; this is a two-way street.

Therefore, because this is fanlore, even if Matt did say "here is Belizabeth and her husband, and she has only ever been involved with men" this would not be homophobic because the character's sexuality has never been established and straight is one of the possible sexualities she could have. Obviously if he went super hard on her straightness that could get weird but that's a fucking bonkers stretch.

When people pointed it out, this group and a few other people who just fucking hate Matt kept dismissing them as CR fans. Then it caught the attention of various D20 guest cast members or people in the broader TTRPG scene, who have pointed out that like...the actual play and TTRPG industry is a place where basically everyone in a particular region knows everyone else and they are all good friends and this is shitty. The D20 fans mad that Matt is DM-ing The Ravening War kept doubling down and started making outright ad-hominem attacks on Matt (notably his appearance and dress which is like, shitty and irrelevant to this fanon thing anyway even before you consider the body dysmorphia) and whining that because they've made some charity fanzines, a thing people have been doing since the dawn of Star Trek TOS, they deserve...something. People rightfully called them out as 1. entitled brats and 2. needlessly cruel. They keep whining that CR fans are dogpiling them when in fact like, the entire TTRPG community including, as far as I can tell, the D20 community who overlaps with CR fandom and even the D20 community that does not but is neutral on CR, is like "you suck, you started it, this fandom is not exempted from typical fandom toxicity, and you will look back on this in 5 years and vomit from embarrassment."

Anyway this is all kind of tiresome, but also pretty funny because literally I'm expecting a bunch of fanartists who are immensely high on their own farts to be 100% blacklisted from ever receiving a commission from like, any Actual Play of note and also a lot of fans; there's an outpouring of support for Matt that far outstrips what there would have been without a handful of idiots starting shit; and also the season is fully filmed anyway so if this ship was confirmed noncanon, it happened a few months ago anyway and there's nothing anyone can do.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, pretty much all these losers are still 100% going to watch The Ravening War anyway so like, this has all amounted to a net positive for everyone but them.

[lamortwrites]

SICK of people referring to fully professionally filmed ttrpg shows as podcasts. Taking the audio from a video episode and uploading it as a separate file is NOT the same as producing a podcast and we all know it!

[corruptedhellbait]

What dice you rolling? And will you be rolling a dice say a d20 for how many edges you should do before a orgasm or how many minutes of overstimulation after the orgasm on a d12 ?

I do this to my sub. Depending on her punishment/ funishment or ever how good she has been we bring the dnd dice out and she gets to roll the dice a could times and choose what she likes.

So for example we use the d20 and the d12

The d20 could be for how many spanks she gets, that d20 would get rolled 10 times and then we agree 6 or 7 of the numbers and thats how many she gets (just depends on her mood some times. But when she stores the spanks she takes the full number from the 10 roll of the d20. which her and i agreeded on and plus means she enjoys it more since she loves it when her bum gets a bruise 😊 ) Other days the d20 could be how many minutes she has to edge every hour with the wand maximum 6 times. That dice would get rolled 6 times.

The d12 could be how many extra jobs she has to do around the house for the week that she doesn't like doing. Or it could be how many times she has to watch me wank and cum into a towel and she can't be creampie (which she loves! Hehe.

Alot of the things we do with the dice can and do change so what I've used as an example was last months one. We skipped this month due to being busy and will resume next month well try to. But we also use the dice for good things like if she has been a good girl if she can get a certain number with in say 10 rolls she can have as many orgasms as she wants when she wants with 3 days (that's an example.)

just a regular dice and it was just a thought, it's more likely that it won't happen

[toysoldieralan]

Some of the infrequent ones are gold. I mean, come on! Dirt-wit?

Dip-goblin is great for someone who cancels plans all the time.

Wank-clown is good replacement for gooner because it finds them more ridiculous than hateable.

And Trump-nozzle is perfect for people who thoughtlessly regurgitate his incoherent ramblings.

Oh, and if you want to roll a D20 to randomly generate curse words, but don't want to be a ... Twat-ass... about it, you can replace "tard" with "hole". Reintroduces common ones like ass-hole, and introduces new ones like, uh, dog-hole.

This might be handy for the writing crowd