#i think it's so fucking stupid but i know it isn't because it's not my fault that i now associate bvb with a toxic person i knew
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sevika.com..
➜┆ ↻ 𝙇𝙤𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜... ⟳ sevika x fem! camgirl reader
possible warnings on your browser: unofficial sugar mommy sevika who would go nuts over camgirl websites these days (as opposed to brothels in zaun), mechanic! sevika(who bffr is probably getting dirty cash from silco at his auto shop), 18+ content, masturbation (both), lingerie and vibrators, dirty talk.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8af0ce0dbb659a6aa9725957346e1a75/e3e5c23a57a0bc5d-ae/s540x810/e11fd1922777685ac74fe467794fe0ea051e69b3.webp)
Sevika is the type of person to make fun of the guys who actually think the stripper likes them. That is just who she is.
However, camgirls? Totally different story.
Something using her money she racks in from a sketchy auto shop named "Silco's Auto Haven" to purchase monthly subscriptions for lingerie-clad women? Absolutely.
Imagine it—Sevika walking through the door after a long day at work. Her muscles are aching, and she just wants to take a shower, collapse on her ratty couch, and send her hard-earned income to her favorite camgirl, you. With two fingers in her aching cunt, of course.
Meanwhile, you are in your comfy bedroom. You've got a mountain of pillows pushed back out of your iphone camera's view so you can be the main focus, and your cheeks are visibly dark with desire. You look right into the camera and lean forward, your tits nearly spilling out of the pretty, pink Victoria's Secret lingerie set you were able to buy with money that Sevika donated to you. Only slightly can the hundreds, if not thousands of viewers see a hint of pebbled skin, your nipple peeking out of the bra. You're a fucking tease, and your fans love it.
slipknot_slut commented: take off the bra for us, baby.
You squint your eyes to read the influx of comments, but that one stands out in particular. You huff out a teasing laugh, leaning slightly out of frame on purpose.
"Slipknot_slut says i should show everyone my tits. Well, maybe after a donation or two. Go to pornhub if you wanna see some free titties." You say with a slight shrug.
onomatopoeiabitch22 commented: GIRL? WE LITERALLY PAY TO SEE THIS. SHOW US UR TITTIES.
ambessahub commented: i could eat you for protein
"Uhh, okay." You scoff, both amused and weirded out. Chat is getting pushy, and in all truth, you need some donations for rent. (The only reason you're struggling is because a certain someone had been working overtime as a mechanic, missing your most recent livestream).
And then, practically godsent, you see your favorite username.
iluvgamblingngirls has joined the livestream. Say hi!
"Sevikkkkaaa!! Hi, baby." You coo over the screen excitedly, unaware of how wet you're currently making Sevika's pussy.
Sevika is already pumping her cunt tightly with her fingers, eyes transfixed on the way you begin to unclasp your bra, already knowing that she's got you. It nearly makes her laugh at the thought that you're such a huge slut for her, and you don't even know what she looks like. She knows it's the money, she isn't stupid. But you get so desperate, it makes both her heart and pussy warm from inside her cheap apartment, laid out on the couch with her phone tight in her grip. With shaky hands, she begins the bidding.
iluvgamblingngirls has left a donation of $500. Say thanks!
Your eyes widen, and you finally throw your bra behind you haphazardly. You don't make Sevika wait like you do your other fans, grabbing the string attached to your panties around your hips and sliding the fabric down the wide expanse of your thighs.
"Fuuck.." Sevika curses underneath her breath when she is able to see the glistening wetness on your panties, simply because it catches on the light and the camera just barely picks it up. Regardless, she finds herself fucking herself at a harsher pace.
Your center your naked body back into frame, and your hand slides a vibrator right between your legs. Suddenly, Sevika isn't feeling good alone. Your clit pulses with each vibration, your moans exaggerated but real. Sevika wonders if you've been pent up. It may sound creepy, but Sevika has a knack for distinguishing your real moans from the dramatic, pornographic sounds that are truly from pleasuring yourself, but obviously aren't fully realistic.
The thought that you struggled to get off without Sevika on the livestream sends a pang of heat throughout her lower abdomen, and she tries to find a pace that matches yours. She can't help herself from wanting to talk to you, however.
iluvgamblingngirls commented: wish you could ride me into the mattress
iluvgamblingngirls has sent a donation of $500!
When you read Sevika's message, you let out a soft moan, allowing yourself to fall back onto the bed and spread your legs wider, growing desperate.
You don't know what it is about Sevika's messages and financial support, but it has an effect on you. It's the countless donations that go towards rent/groceries, lingerie for live streams, and expensive lotions to keep your skin smooth. It's the comments that do not hesitate to inform you of the filthy things Sevika wants to do to you. Ride her into the mattress. You shouldn't get yourself so heated over someone who is practically faceless to you, but you can't help it. You always react to her comments, and she knows it.
"Sev, gonna cum..are you gonna cum with me?" You whine, rocking your hips to meet the intense buzzing of the vibrator. Your clit is nearly numb from the sensation, but it feels so good.
You get no answer, but do not think much of it. You can only imagine a faceless, bodiless woman, cunt stuffed with herself as she struggles to type out her reply because she is on the edge of a cliff. Cute.
Nevertheless, you let yourself go, savoring every wave of pleasure as your cum drips down onto your bedsheets. You're left a quivering, spent mess.
At the same time, Sevika's body arches and her back stretches. She feels the hot pangs of pleasure pulse until it is her own heartbeat that she feels, still rapidly racing, but trying its hardest to come down. She nearly laughs at how carried away you were able to bring her.
iluvgamblingngirls has left a donation of $1,000.
You nearly fall off the bed when you read that. Sevika surely likes to take care of you, huh?
You manage to compose yourself and sit up, turning off the live stream. Sevika almost lets herself feel disappointed before ultimately freezing. An email about a friend request on the camgirl website. A friend request from you.
Sevika is in over her head.
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#sevika x fem!reader#sevika x reader#sevika arcane#arcane sevika#sevika#sevika smut#arcane#arcane smut
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Jayce is a sap. But everybody knows that. It's not a shock to see Jayce getting flowers and chocolates during the week leading up to St. Valentine's feast day, but no one questions it much. Jayce is a handsome man, it makes sense that he'd be picking up some nice wine and scented candles and massage oil. The ladies giggle and gossip, wondering and whispering about who his "secret" lover could be. Everybody talks about how lucky that person must be, to be spoiled by the genius who changed Piltover.
No one expects Viktor to be a sap.
He's snippy and irritable, sarcastic and sharp, short-tempered and cold-hearted. So the first year Jayce is spotted buying chocolates, everyone is shocked to see Viktor in the corner of the shop, tucking a rather pricey box under his arm before he picks out a stunning bouquet. and again the next year. And the next. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times a pattern. By the beginning of the fourth year, one of Ximena Talis' friends has enough courage to approach and ask Viktor who he was buying all that for. Viktor laughs in her face, and shuffles off to pay for the flowers he's acquired.
The next year, Viktor is nowhere to be seen, but Jayce is found buying an entire bag of rose petals and a horrendously overpriced bath bomb. This time, it's a jealous young lady asking invasive question about who that's meant for. "It's for my partner!" Jayce replies with a confused smile.
He refuses to elaborate further.
The sixth year, something strange happens. Plenty of talk has been going around already about the boys' strange habits, but when they're spotted at dinner together, at a rather well-known if lower class restaurant, on the day itself, ...well, the rumor mill doesn't spin itself. The story is halfway around the city by noon the next day. For both those young men to lose their partners, at the same time, on Valentine's day no less! It's nothing short of a tragedy.
Mel mentions it in passing, cooing softly about how disappointed Jayce must have felt.
"What are you talking about?" Jayce laughs. "I had dinner with my partner at a restaurant we both love, and then we got to cuddle and listen to a new record together. I had the best night!"
Mel puts two and two together and immediately dismisses the conclusion. It's none of her business anyway.
The next year, Jayce is found at a gala thrown at the Kiramann estate. Viktor is also there, glaring over the edge of a champagne glass any time Jayce is not by his side. As the night wears on, people lose track of Viktor, and then they lose track of Jayce.
It's Caitlyn who finds them on the balcony, tipsy and laughing at each other, Viktor holding a bouquet of stunning Noxian roses in his hand as he cups Jayce's cheek, kissing them slowly.
"What the fuck?" Caitlyn shrieks, because she isn't above swearing when her fucking older brother gets caught kissing his lab partner.
"Cait, some privacy?" Jayce huffs.
"Language." Viktor quips.
"You two are fucking making out!" Caitlyn shouts.
The whole of the gala has stopped to stare out the doors at the commotion. Whispers fly around the room, and the gossips tell their friends about what they can hear from their perfect spot next to the door.
"Cait, will you chill? We weren't doing anything gross, Vik's just not a huge fan of PDA." Jayce protests. "I would still rather be at home. Your mother had to host the stupid gala on Valentine's?" Viktor concurs. "Since when is this a thing?" Caitlyn yelps. "Since, like, 7 years ago? Cait, you were there."
"Honestly, Miss Kiramann. You would think you would know better." The gossips giggle amongst themselves, but more and more young ladies turn away with crestfallen faces. 7 years of romance is nothing to sneeze at, after all, and to think all this time, Jayce Talis has been giving his heart to someone- a man, no less! "You've been dating this whole time?" Caitlyn groans. "Why didn't you say anything?" "Well, um, actually..." "We're married." Viktor laughs. "And we did tell you. You just didn't listen." The gala goes dead silent. All whispers cease, and even the gossips go still. Did he just- there's no way he meant- he couldn't have possibly just said- "MARRIED?" Caitlyn screeches. "See, this is why we didn't tell you." Jayce snarks.
Unplanned Valentine's Day art because I cannot stop drawing them 🥰
#jayvik#jayce x viktor#jayce talis#viktor arcane#arcane#my writing#other people's pretty art#mini fic#happy v day
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Absolutely my favorite cutscene in the entire game. There's so much to MICRO ANALYZE about it! My favorite thing to do ^^
Why Shadow. You look like you've seen a ghost.
The way he looks at her when he recognizes it's her. It's just so perfect. He's in total disbelief. It has been twenty years since ShTH, twenty years since he moved on from all that pain and trauma. And now she's back, staring him in the face. He doesn't know HOW to feel about it.
The way he fucking BACKS AWAY FROM HER when she runs up to hug him! He isn't HAPPY about this reunion, he's SCARED of it. Scared that it's perhaps some kind of trick that he shouldn't trust as really happening. Scared of letting down his emotional barriers and accepting it as a real event, and being hurt by that vulnerability. Scared of losing her all over again. The way they conveyed his emotional state of mind via his expressions and body language is SUPERB.
This could have been SO EASY to fuck up. It would have been so easy for them to have some trite bullshit hokey reunion where Shadow goes "Maria ='D " and tearfully embraces her, oh pinch me this must be a dream! (You know, like what they did in fucking Archie)
Golly, you know, if you were to tell me that the person who wrote this piece of trash garbage stupid idiot comic book was also the same person who wrote Shadow Generations, I would be forced to conclude that you didn't know what the fuck you were talking about. Because it couldn't be more clear that the HACK FRAUD MORON who wrote this stupid comic clearly didn't have anything to do with the creative decisions that went into this video game literally whatsoever at all.
anyway....
"Huh, well, she hasn't tried to stab me yet, so I guess this isn't some kind of Sonic Omens boss fight hallucination..."
You can see Shadow starting to accept that this is really happening at the very least, although his emotions are clearly still very mixed up about it.
Once again, absolutely perfect reaction. The way his pupils fucking dilate at the sight of Gerald. And again he steps back. His feelings are probably very similar to how he reacted upon seeing Maria, but probably some extra emotional conflict thrown in because of the whole "Gerald brainwashed me and tried to turn me into an instrument of revenge to destroy the world" as well. Imagine the last thing your father ever did was try to stab you to death with a knife, and then all of a sudden you were thrown back in time to the first time he ever changed your diapers. It'd probably give you some fucked up internal emotional conflict.
Let's focus on the look on Shadow's face. You can see the gears turning in his head. This threw him for a loop for sure, he doesn't know how to feel. He's disoriented. But then
he locks in.
Shadow ain't no dummy. He's been paying attention to all the levels up until this point. Hell he just ran into Black Doom earlier. Obviously this is some time travel shenanigans. What's great about this is that it's all internalized, this is just his inner monologue. It provides insight into what his thought process is at every other time too. We so rarely are given telepathic insight into the characters internal thoughts like this. Shadow is having this kind of inner problem recognition to problem solving analysis all the time, we just aren't usually privy to it.
He goes from looking at Biblically Accurate Black Doom in the sky, to glancing towards Maria when she starts talking to him, then glancing away from her as he tries to think about how he should respond. He doesn't want to tell the truth just yet. He doesn't want to let on about how he's really feeling. Perhaps he's trying to think back about what he was like back when living on the ARK, and get back into that kind of personality? Or perhaps he doesn't particularly care, and has just shifted into Mission Mode moreso than anything else.
Hehe, I love his little gestures. "I'm fine. *waves his hands around like a power ranger* we'll ALL be FINE!" He's so animated. You can really tell how much he's off his game because of this encounter. I'm inclined to think he's trying too hard and laying it on too thick because he's putting on a bit of a performance right here for Maria's sake. Which is why Gerald is able to get a hunch that maybe this isn't HIS Shadow after all.
Best cutscene in the game, I fucking love it.
#sonic x shadow generations#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#gerald robotnik#sonic#sonic the hedgehog
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for kink prompt...SH!verse, the possessive jealous threesome that never was with max charles + lewis. either it actually happening or max riling charles up by talking about it 😎
1.9k words because they spend too much time yapping. kink prompt fill! SH lestappen and the threesome that never was. explicit, obviously.
pairings: charles leclerc/max verstappen, (in spirit) lewis hamilton/charles leclerc/max verstappen
relevant heads up: slight feminization? in a little bit of a derogatory way but that's more so a thing Max isn't willing to admit he likes. I think the most outrageous thing here is charles taking a picture without asking (but it doesn't go anywhere except the private folder on his phone)
"Max, are you mad at me?"
Max is currently firmly on his side of the bed, trying very hard not to be mad at Charles.
It's not even anger, it's just-
"No."
Charles sighs, half rolling over to drape an arm across his waist.
"I don't believe you."
Three points to Charles, because despite how he's behaving, apparently he isn't an idiot.
"That is because I am lying."
There's a beat of silence. Charles is clearly giving him space to elaborate, and Max is very clearly not interested in elaborating, because it's stupid.
Charles grips his waist and rolls them, settling them so that Max is facing him, even though he's avoiding eye contact.
"Chéri- I cannot fix it if you don't talk to me."
Max frowns.
"I thought you'd be more interested in talking to Lewis."
Charles makes a face like he's swallowed a lemon, and it's the closest to unattractive Max has ever seen him, which makes him feel slightly better.
"What?"
Well, Max has already gone and stuck his foot in his mouth, why not make it worse.
"Since you two have been so cozy lately."
The root of the problem here is that Max is acting like a jealous, bitchy WAG. Ferrari had done some dumb clothing collaboration for the winter, and it had involved Charles and Lewis and a fucking log cabin. With one bed.
"Max, what are you-"
Max tries to roll back over, but Charles snags him around the waist, pulling him back in. Max ducks his head down, catches his teeth around the edge of Charles' collarbone and nips.
"Ow- Max. What do you mean by that?"
Max keeps his head down.
"Your stupid winter ad went out today, and everyone on the internet is talking about how you are both 'so boyfriend coded' and it is stupid."
Charles is quiet for a moment, and Max is sure he's coming up with some kind of apology, appropriately dramatic for the situation.
Charles laughs.
Max practically gives himself whiplash yanking his head back, eyes narrowed.
"Sorry- Max, baby, I am sorry, really, it is just-"
Max groans and rolls away. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, he knows. Yes, Charles would rather step on a slobbery dog toy than get in bed with Lewis. Still.
"Chéri, come back-"
Charles can barely speak through his laughter, and Max flips him off as he stalks out of the bedroom.
Stupid boyfriend. He turns his head slightly, calling out over his shoulder in a parting shot.
"Maybe I should go dig up the tweets from 2021, where everyone was talking about how Lewis bends me over after every race- see how you feel then."
The laughter abruptly cuts off, and Max has to fight not to choke on his own sudden giggle.
He turns to poke his head back through the doorway, and Charles is sitting up, duvet pooled around his waist, eyes narrowed.
"I'm sorry, what tweets?"
Oh- oh Charles doesn't know.
Max can't stop the smug grin playing at his lips as he tugs his phone out of his pocket.
"You did not see them? It was practically every weekend Charlie, all these accounts saying Lewis puts me in my place after every race, or that I was just being bratty- Lando sent me one that called Lewis my dom once-"
Max lights up, delighted at the way Charles' face has gone shadowy. This whole thing could have been avoided if he'd just apologized.
"I mean, really- if everyone thought he and I were fucking, and now you and him are fucking, we should just invite him in, see if he fucks as good as his reputation."
"Max."
Charles' voice is dark, and Max freezes. When he looks up, Charles' eyes are locked onto his, and they don't waver as he speaks.
"Leave your phone on the counter, and then you're coming back to bed."
Max hadn't intended to make Charles act like... this.
He's not complaining. He drops his phone off on the dresser before making his way back onto the bed, and his knee has barely hit the mattress before Charles is manhandling him, laying him out flat with his wrists pinned above him.
"You can still apologize for that, and we can pretend it didn't happen."
Max is not fucking apologizing, if anything Charles needs to apologize, for doing such a stupid photoshoot.
He raises his chin.
"Maybe you want him on the phone to hear it also? I can moan his name very easily as well, want to hear-"
Charles grips his jaw hard, bringing his teeth down into the meat of Max's shoulder, and Max gasps, jerks at his hands, but Charles keeps them held firm.
"Don't be a whore, Max."
Max hates how those words, in that tone, is rapidly making him hard, pressing his hips up into Charles.
"You really think you would want Lewis here? You want him to see you beg for fingers, start crying on my cock? You want him to see how desperate you get to be full, the way you fall apart if I don't give you something when I'm done?"
Max tilts his head back, because Charles' tone is dark, and he's still holding his jaw in his hand, but Max is grinning.
"Maybe he would fuck me better. Maybe he would not tease, maybe he would not even-"
Charles shoves three fingers into his mouth and Max gags, knows he's dug his own grave.
"What if I said you were right? What if I called him right now, left the phone next to you on the pillow and edged you all night?"
Charles scoffs, pulling his fingers out and wrestling Max's shorts off, pressing his thighs apart, and Max moans.
"You- you would not, you get too impatient to get your dick in me-"
Charles presses his thumb meanly into the tip of Max's cock, and Max jerks underneath him.
"Fuck, you're as wet as a girl, aren't you baby? You want it that bad? You really are a whore, if this is all it takes."
Max twists underneath him, thighs flexing.
"No- no, it is not-"
"Right, of course not. You'd probably love if I called him over, let him see you fucked out and messy. Maybe I'd let him have my sloppy seconds when I'm done with you, yes?"
Max's face is violently red, and he didn't mean for any of this, the way he's so hard it hurts, the way Charles isn't fucking stretching him, the way his words are ringing in his ears.
He opens his mouth to respond, but Charles flicks his wrist again, and Max's head flies back into the pillowcase.
"Charlie,"
Charles continues talking over him, like Max hadn't said anything at all.
"He seems like a tits guy, and you've got plenty."
"They're not-"
Max hates when Charles calls them... that. It makes something in his gut churn, makes him feel hot. He squirms underneath Charles, wants to hide his face or have his hands back, but Charles doesn't give him the option.
Charles laughs at him again, lowers his head around one of Max's pecs and bites, and Max's hips jerk up off the bed, legs wrapping around Charles as tears bead at his eyes.
"Hurts, Charles please, please I didn't mean it-"
Charles lets go, bringing his head back up to kiss Max, wet and filthy and messy.
"I thought you wanted Lewis, no?"
Max bites at Charles' lower lip, pulling him in with his legs to grind against him.
"You- I want you, fuck me, please."
Charles squeezes his wrists together for a moment, grinning against his skin.
"See, I would, but-"
He presses Max back into the mattress, sucking hickies into his throat where they'll be impossible to hide.
"-you are being a brat."
Max moans, half out of desperation and half out of frustration, fruitlessly grinding his hips up for friction. It's not enough.
"Please, I was-"
Charles squeezes at the base of Max's cock, long fingers wrapped around him, and Max could cry. He's not getting fucked tonight. He'll be lucky if he gets off at all.
Charles must be able to see the resignation on his face, and he laughs at him as he brushes his fingers across Max's tip- gets them wet and sticky before bringing them back up to his lips.
"Suck."
Max lets his mouth drop open, and he's trying not to cry around Charles' fingers, even as he can feel Charles rutting against his hip, because it's not fair-
Charles tenses, groaning as his fingers press deep into Max's mouth, grazing the back of his throat. Max gags, feels sticky and wet and hot, and he's not going to come tonight, but Charles still looks so pretty above him.
He's still trying to swallow down the excess saliva when Charles pulls his fingers out, wiping them against Max's cheek.
Charles leans over him, grabbing his phone off the dresser before sitting back on his heels, and Max is still so pent up, so close to coming he really thinks all it would take it just a bit of pressure.
Max doesn't realize for a second until he hears the shutter noise, and then it hits him- Charles has taken a picture of him, debauched and messy, desperate and wanting.
"Oh, oh don't send that-"
Charles huffs a laugh, tossing the phone down by Max as he lets go of his wrists.
"If you want to get off so bad you can call Lewis and beg him."
Max whimpers, because he doesn't fucking want Lewis, he wants Charles.
"You, just you, I only want-"
Charles brushes his fingers lightly against Max's hip, so close to where he wants him, but not close enough.
"That's right."
"Please."
Charles grins down at him, gorgeous and beautiful and terribly mean.
"You can beg prettier than that."
Max feels tears sliding down his cheeks, and he's so close, he might even get there just by Charles taking that humiliating tone with him.
"Please, please get me off, please let me come, only you- I never wanted anyone else, just for you, Charles please-"
"There we go."
Charles finally wraps his fingers back around Max's cock, and Max sobs, gasping as Charles jerks his wrist, and then he's done, feels his own come painting stripes across his stomach, trembling underneath Charles' hands.
"That's it, there you are."
Charles carefully strokes him through it, letting go right before it tips into overstimulation, leaning down to gently kiss Max.
"You were so good for me, you are so beautiful like this, I love you."
Max steadies his breathing, tugs Charles into him to hide his face in his neck.
"Thank you, thank you, I'm sorry-"
Charles presses a kiss into his hair.
"Nothing to be sorry for, unless you actually want Lewis in the bedroom."
The post-nut clarity is starting to hit, and Max recoils slightly.
"Eugh-"
Charles bursts into laughter, peppering kisses on Max's face and cheeks, dropping one on his nose.
"So now it is not okay? You are ridiculous, did you know that?"
Max turns his nose up, avoiding eye contact.
"I of course do not know what you're talking about. I was very mature about the whole thing."
Charles squawks, looking affronted.
"This whole thing started because of you-"
Max is going to pretend he doesn't know what he's talking about.
#search history verse#kink prompt#lewis was here in spirit#the concepts of lewis hamilton#ficlet#in every universe max's love language is biting
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your heart's safe with me
written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles Valentine's Day pop-up event and @steddiebingo main card fill for the prompt pre-relationship
rated: T | wc: 1.000 | tags: pre steddie, pining, love confessions, implied friends to lovers
"If I have to see one more couple kissing, I'm gonna be sick. Can they just not? I'm already miserable, don't need them to rub it in like that," Steve groans and Eddie gets it; it's hard being single on Valentine's day.
That is, if you're name is Steve Harrington. Self-proclaimed former ladies’ man, who never really had a problem scoring a date until he lost his crown when he climbed off his high horse and became part of the loveless losers club Eddie's been a member of all his life.
"Can't even go to Robin's for our annual Fuck Valentine's date because she's seeing her new girlfriend tonight. I mean, I love that for her but- god, it sucks being alone."
"You do know who you're talking to, right?"
Steve turns to look at him, confusion making way for understanding.
"Oh, uh, sorry."
"You should be. I've never had a date on Valentine's day. Or ever, for that matter. But do you see me complaining? No. So suck it up, man. You'll find the right one. Maybe not today but- they're out there somewhere."
Eddie hates to even think about it but there’s no denying the fact that one day, he'll have to come to terms with Steve being in a relationship with someone that isn't him. It sucks, but that's just how things are.
"You could come to my place after work," Eddie offers before thinking it through. "We can watch some cheesy romcom. You can complain about how unrealistic it is and I can make fun of you for crying over the happy ending."
This makes Steve laugh and Eddie takes it as a win; he loves making Steve laugh, loves the sound of it.
"So that's a yes?"
After their shift, they separate ways only for Steve to make a detour home because he complained about needing to get out of his smelly work clothes and take a shower.
Eddie would've offered his shower and his clothes for Steve to change into but it’s better that way – better not to give his mind any more reason to create fantasies he definitely shouldn't have.
So, he uses the time to freshen up and clean up some of the bits and bobs scattered around his apartment. It's not messy, not really. Nothing like Wayne had augured when Eddie moved out to live on his own. It's more like organised chaos but because it's Steve coming over, Eddie puts a little more effort in it than he usually would.
An hour later, Steve finally arrives.
"For how long it took you to get changed, I thought you'd be dressed up a lot nicer for me," Eddie jokes when he opens the door and finds Steve standing there in comfy sweats and hoodie, hair tousled but still unfairly good looking.
"Sorry. Robin called because she was freaking out about her date, so I had to calm her down. You know how she gets when she's nervous." Steve shakes his head and sighs, smiling fondly, "But I stopped at the pizza place you like. Brought your favourite, as an apology."
His smile turns from soft to cheeky and Eddie happily takes the large box handed to him.
"I could kiss you right now."
Eddie could kiss him always, but Steve doesn't need to know.
They get comfortable in the small but cosy living room, eating while watching the movie Steve chose - something about best friends who are obviously meant to be but too oblivious to realise it. Eddie's not really paying attention, just enjoys Steve's presence. Letting his eyes linger on the man beside him every now and then, smiling whenever Steve smiles, counting the moles on his face and neck, wishing he could kiss every single one of them. It's stupid, maybe even risky to gawk so openly, but Steve doesn't notice - or at least he doesn't call him out on it.
"This is so stupid," Steve says and Eddie laughs because he's been waiting for it.
"How do they not know? I mean- it's clear as day that he's into her. How can she keep looking for love when it's right there?"
"Sometimes you just don't see what's right in front of you, I guess." Eddie swallows hard; he knows too well what it's like not to be seen.
"Okay, sure. But then why doesn't he just- tell her. I mean, they're clearly perfect together."
"It's not always that easy."
"I'd want to know. If there was someone loving me like this, I'd want them to tell me."
Steve turns to look at him and Eddie's breath catches in his throat.
Does he know? Does he suspect something? That can't be. Eddie never told anyone about his feelings for Steve.
"What if they're scared?" It already sounds like a confession and Eddie curses himself for not keeping his mouth shut.
"Scared of what?"
Eddie scoffs frustrated.
"I don't know, Steve. Rejection? Losing your best friend? Having your heart broken?"
He didn't mean to snap at him but this conversation really hits a nerve.
"But what if..." Steve trails off, seems lost in his thoughts, "What if they love them back?"
Eddie has the sickening feeling that they're not talking about the movie anymore.
"They wouldn't know unless the other person gives them a sign."
"Something like that?"
Before the question even sinks in, Eddie’s lips are sealed with Steve’s that are tentatively pushing, opening up just enough for a hint of tongue Eddie chases with his own, falling easily into the rhythm of Steve's lead.
Eddie keeps his eyes closed for a long moment after they part, contemplating whether he dares to believe this is real.
"Your heart's safe with me," Steve whispers sweetly and Eddie realises then, that this crush hasn't been so one-sided all this time.
Next year on Valentine's, he promises himself, he'll make it extra special for Steve. Tonight though, sharing pizza and kisses and confessions is enough to make it perfect.
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Hey! I really like your posts.(Sorry for my bad English💔💔💔) And I feel so awkward asking you something..😭 Well, in general I was interested. Thomas is a very closed person and I was interested if it is AT ALL possible to get closer to him. Like, is this even possible? What would he value in a person? Or maybe there would be some rules when communicating with him and his family? Sorry if my question sounds stupid💔
Hi! Don't worry, your English is very good! This question isn't stupid at all - I think it's wonderful! Plus, it gives me more to work with which I always appreciate. I took this as an opportunity to introduce what life would be like as a Hewitt "guest" - Which I will expand on in future posts 🫀
Surviving Thomas {Hewitt} + The Family
Yay! You’ve survived the Hewitts - A real accomplishment if you ask me. Sure, you’re scratched up, bleeding, and traumatized but you’re alive, aren’t you? {Would’ve been better to die, but..can’t do much about that now.}
____
The Family
Communicating with the family? That's not gonna be as hard. Submission and respect is what they accept - Nothing but.
First of all, you’re not automatically “family” just because you survived - You’re a “guest” captive. You’ll join them for dinner, you will NOT interrupt prayer; You’ll do chores, specifically the tedious or strenuous ones: Cleaning bathrooms, helping with laundry, dusting {the house definitely needs it}, getting Thomas for dinner, tending to the animals, dishes, ironing clothes - Anything to help the family. You will do as you’re told. If you don’t, they won’t hesitate to penalize you.
Be prepared to give up all your belongings and morals. Everything they want, they’ll get. Books, clothing, food, MONEY, it’s theirs. If you have weapons, Hoyt is taking those IMMEDIATELY - They’re his now.
You will eat. Do not waste food, time, money, anything. The Hewitts have little as is, don’t decrease their chances of survival.
If you’re fem-presenting, watch for Hoyt and Monty. Both are sexual deviants with no respect for women outside the family. From what I’ve seen in the films, Hoyt tends to prefer blondes - I don’t see Monty as caring too much. Just like he did with Erin, Monty will ask for “help” when you two are alone.
“Can you help me grab that?” - “Could you help me get up?” - “Could you pick this up for me?”
Anything that gives him room to grope. He’ll try to trip you and lift your clothes with his cane, too.
Back to Hoyt,
Hoyt’s a piece of shit, but he’s not as bad once you’re “family.” It’ll start off very rocky - Calling you slurs, being physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally abusive, trying to grope and rub-up you {if you’re fem-presenting}, VERY little trust, and lots of belittling remarks.
“I don’t know what {whoever spared you} saw in you” - “One word, and I’ll get Tommy to chop your pretty ass up n’ serve you on this very dining table” - “What the hell are you doing? You ain’t doing it right..asshole” - Lots of comparisons to livestock and hookers, and lots of “you fucking idiot!”
Once he's gotten used to you, he'll respect you a bit more. {If you've gotten close to Luda Mae or Thomas, he'll calm down}. If you're not a straight white woman, he'll call you a slur and frame it as a joke - It's not. He respects those who're part of the family, but that doesn't mean he wont ridicule you when you {or a victim} pisses him off. The easiest way to gain his respect is work. When he sees you working your ass off for the family, he'll slowly but surely gain respect for you. It may not seem like it, but Hoyt Charlie does care. He'll protect you from whatever once you're part of the family..but he'll still be 'tough love'.
--
You’ll have the best luck with Henrietta - She’s the least likely to get violent or judgy if you aren’t judgemental to her. You won’t see her too often - But when you do, don’t get confrontational {this goes for every family member}. The Tea Lady {Kathryn} Won’t do much harm either. She’s not too confrontational, only minor teasing with other family members. When she comes over for tea with Luda Mae, don’t interrupt unless you’re spoken to.
OFFER AS MUCH AS YOU CAN !! If you see Luda doing housework, offer to help. At the scene around 1:12:00 in TCM: The Beginning, when Hoyt’s in the kitchen with Luda Mae - At around 1:12:20 when she says “I’ll go set the table”, it would be best if YOU offered to set the table. Preferably before she announces that she will. Recognize their routine, incorporate yourself by helping out when you can.
One of the biggest, most influential things you could do is warn the family when something happens. For example; in TCM:The Beginning, at around 1:16:55 {when Chrissie grabs the knife?} You should immediately either A.) Tell Hoyt; Or B.) Run after/Yell for Thomas. This will prove to them that you care about the family, their safety, and how they operate. That will automatically bring you closer to becoming a “member” of the family.
It’s easier to become part of the family if you’re: A woman {Luda wants a daughter}, a Christian, submissive, quiet, hardworking, or NICE TO THOMAS !!
This doesn’t mean you have to compliment Thomas or be attracted to him - Just don’t alienate him, stare excessively, or give him judgmental looks / remarks.
{if you’ve gotten close to Luda Mae}
When she starts talking about Tommy, that’s a good sign. ESPECIALLY in relation to you.
“Y'know, Tommy’s really starting to take a liking to you.” = He’s stayed up thinking about you.
If she ever sends you to get Thomas, she’s trying to set you two up / get you two closer. If she likes you, she’ll connect you with Thomas.
She’s pretty kind to you - But she’s still strict. No wasting food, no defiance, no secrets, no shaming of the family {especially Thomas}, do as you’re told. If you’re not busy, she’ll invite you to join her and Kathryn for tea sometimes. {Especially if you’re in a relationship with Thomas, they wanna know everything most things}.
Jedidiah just wants a friend. He's a lonely boy who will happily draw you {please praise it, he needs some.} He gets hurt often {cuts, bruises, scabs}, he's outside a lot. You might be asked to babysit, which if you do, be prepared. He's a bit of a chatterbox if he likes you. Draw together, pose for his portraits, and let him ramble about whatever's on his mind. {You could try to get family information out of him, but butter him up first.} This will also help you get closer to Luda Mae and Thomas - Showing care for Jedidiah is a good sign that you're not a total asshole.
____
Thomas
Thomas is closed off for a few reasons: Previous trauma, anxiety, insecurity, and "fear" of outsiders. One of the easiest ways to get closer to him is by showing respect to the family. If you don't cause chaos, he’ll be less antsy around you. Especially if you get close to his mother. Be patient with him, please. He’s trying his best. Leave him alone when he’s stressed or really upset - He’ll usually storm off to his room or the basement. He needs time to himself, be mindful of that. Thomas, in his nature, is introverted. This doesn’t mean he hates people - He’s just very cautious.
You don’t necessarily have to compliment Thomas, but it’ll definitely help him weaken his guard. I.E; “I like your mask{s}” is a wonderful place to start. Even if you don’t like his masks, complimenting his work is the easiest way for him to reconsider how he views you.
He LIVES for praise. {This connects to the compliments} - Compliment his strength, his stature, his craft, how he provides for the family. STAND UP FOR HIM !!! Oh my god, and PLEASE thank him for things. For example, if he gets something for you, please say ‘Thank you’, it’ll mean so much to him. He just needs lots of praise and appreciation.
If you’re ever serving dinner, give him a bigger portion. He’ll appreciate it.
If you ever find things he might like {CD’s, Jewelry, BONES, Needles, Thread} anything he can craft with, give it. It’ll further weaken his protective walls and show that you’re one of the very few people who’s genuinely interested in Thomas.
When attempting to have a conversation with Thomas, do it when he’s not busy - And when he’s not too tired. At the dinner table? Not the greatest option; Hoyt will be eavesdropping and Thomas is focused on eating. Maybe after dinner - If no “guests” are around. If you’re gonna ask him questions, it’s preferred if they’re ‘yes/no’ questions. Something easy and quick for him to answer.
As soon as he starts loosening his guard, softening his gaze, staring at you / acknowledging you more, and doing things for you; You’re in. He’s semi-comfortable with you. When he’s really comfortable around you, he’ll treat you as if you’ve always been here. More touchy {depending on what type of relationship you two have}, open to conversation, less likely to guard his things; Just generally calmer around you. Oh, and he’ll be very protective :) {Hoyt and Monty will be deterred}.
Ask him how he's doing - He may not always respond but it's a start. Bring him water, don't get in the way of his work, give him his space, compliment / praise / acknowledge him, and let Thomas grow at his own pace. The best things take time, especially relationships {of any kind}. Mutual respect is key 🫀
____
I hope this answers your question! If it doesn't {or you have more questions}, please let me know! Thank you for the ask <3
#tcm#texas chainsaw massacre#leatherface#tcm 2006#tcm 2003#thomas hewitt#texas chainsaw the beginning#the texas chainsaw massacre#thomas brown hewitt#texas chainsaw 2003#the texas chainsaw 2003#the tea lady#the texas chainsaw 2006#texas chainsaw massacre 2003#texas chainsaw#sheriff hoyt#luda mae hewitt#charlie hewitt#old monty#uncle monty#monty hewitt#hoyt hewitt#henrietta hewitt#jedidiah hewitt
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uncommon/non popular/dare i say "contresverisal" (cuz a wrong opinon gets u death threats in this fandom...) characterization? like personalities wise? ik u don't like mean alpha remus, dumb sirius, regulus in general, but anything else that peeves you?
oo i love this. i think i've made it clear how much i despise fanon marauders so some actual unpopular opinions perchance?
sirius:
i loveee introvert sirius idc he doesn't like talking to people at all and has four friends
not immature !! ever !! EVER !!
very emotionally stupid i fear. cannot read the vibe of the room ermmm ever unless he spends a good ten minutes trying to read everyone's individual facial expressions.
he's not unaware of how gorgeous he is and neither does he spend six hours getting ready every morning ?? he knows he's good looking and he'll flaunt it and make fun of others for being ugly because it's just another good quality about him, like being intelligent or whatever.
not overprotective ?? not if he actually gives a fuck, anyway, if he's being overprotective he just doesn't respect you enough to think you can deal with the world
not jealous either ?? why would he be jealous when he literally has anything and everything he wants (except like emotional stability. if you can regulate your emotions he is in fact jealous)
remus:
actually not average, like he is well liked and stuff he's just Not Enough
ACTUALLY the forgotten marauder !!!
not memorable at all
peter:
most game out of the marauders
this isn't related to characterization, but i don't like the hc of him being super into herbology
not insecure
very manipulative from his teen years
james:
literally SO bad at comforting people it's horrible
you know those "pov: the only child friend" videos that are annoyingly exaggerated and just show a selfish egoist who's also a bad friend? that's james potter
^ that being said he is a good friend, because he does have a good heart, and he does care for people a lot
that doesn't mean he's not a dick to them
"bullying is my love language" and he points out your deepest insecurities in front of half your grade but somehow doesn't realize it's bad
lily:
a BITCH
hypocritical
not popular, ever
super smart but never ranked
NOT A MEAN GIRLFRIEND
kind of a mean girl though (affectionate)
bellatrix:
NOT SEXUAL !!!
SHE DOESN'T WALK AROUND IN LACE SLIPS??
i hate i DESPISE the headcanon that she's like some fucking dildo carrying femdom who's only true love is pegging men and having sex ???????
she looks down on women who show their knees to men before marriage dawg fuck off
barty:
crybaby
?? evil ??
evan:
also evil
small dick
regulus:
second option™
also evil
pandora (rosier):
NOT A SEER
Bad Person
evil but not in a fascist way just in an unlovable way
pandora (lovegood):
NOT A SEER
not luna's carbon copy, she was way more unhinged and potentially dangerous
#heavy on the bellatrix one#god. i hate that#i hate the sex addicted bellatrix sm#i could cry#sirius black#james potter#lily evans#peter pettigrew#remus lupin#bellatrix black#bellatrix lestrange#evan rosier#pandora rosier#regulus black#barty crouch jr#moth's own#moth's asks#dead gay wizards from the 70s#the marauders#marauders era#the marauders era#hp marauders#marauders
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"Oh wow OP sounds like you weren't Their Good Jew™ enough to avoid experiencing antisemitism in antizionist spaces, I guess you'll change your mind about antizionism now!"
Actually this is so crazy, but my political activism isn't actually based on what will personally benefit me or if I'm rewarded for it, but is in fact a reflection of my moral compass and what I think is right. Way to tell on yourself that your political views and activism are 100% based on other people's approval and what you think will personally benefit you best, though! Couldn't be me.
#did you know that some people don't choose their political activism based on clout? and that you're the weird one for thinking that they do?#the whole “antizionist Jews are only antizionist to try to escape antisemitism/for goyim's approval” argument is so stupid#and is VERY telling about how selfish the people making that claim must be#to think it's not just normal but expected to abandon your values because they don't always benefit you on a personal level#that's just straight up not how most people think about activism or political beliefs or basic morality#my advocacy for Palestinian liberation isn't for anyone's approval it's because of my moral compunction to do what I think is RIGHT#and I couldn't really respect myself (especially as a Jew) if I abandoned my advocacy because it didn't personally benefit me#idk maybe self-respect or moral character or having any fucking backbone at all is a new concept for the people in my inbox#and if so great timing! high holy days are coming up so maybe this is a chance to reflect a little and realign yourself with Jewish values#anyway thank you to the zionist and antizionist Jews and gentiles who are being normal in the notes of my post y'all are so kind#jewish antizionism#antizionism#jumblr#jewblr#jewish
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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I think of so many stupid shenanigans between Wriothesley and his daughters in the Addison Lee verse. They tell Wriothesley crazy shit all the time, their daddy-daughter secrets, and it drives Neuvillette nuts that Wriothesley won't snitch.
Sigewinne, whispering into his ear: Today at school I punched a boy because he was being mean. I waited until it was recess, and made sure that no one was watching, and I punched him. Everyone knows he is a liar, so noooo one believed him when he cried about it. And Sigewinne is aaaalways a superstar so Mr Vautrin didn't suspect a thing !
Wriothesley, mildly concerned: Uh huh.
Sigewinne: Papa would say Sigewinne has to be nice to everyone, but, Sigewinne thinks bullies need to get punched sometimes, b'cos, b'cos otherwise, they think everyone is just gonna let them be mean
Wriothesley: Y'know what. That's fair
#They tend to play with him more than Neuvillette because he can match their energies#but Neuvillette usually is who they'd run to when they#need calmness and comfort#at night. when they're all asleep. Neuv would pin his husband down and be like. Tell me. Tell me the secrets.#and Wriothesley is like Noooooooo snitches get stitches Neuv#obviously if it's serious he'd let him know. but. if Carole comes up to him and is like daddy I secretly put a roach in Mr Vautrin's lunch#he'd be like. Did he think it was yummy?#and Carole is like aheeheeehee noooo don't be silly !! It was a prank and the roach was plastic so he can't eat it anyway#ingital#also vautrin teaches all 3 of their kids#for like. first grade#so he's basically a family friend at this point#I also have this stupid#scene in my head. the Swear Jar. I imagine like swear words in the Wriollette household is a hotly debated topic. because Daddy say it#aaaaaall the time. And Wriothesley doesn't believe in banning words. He explains it to the kids when they ask but he's like. You can be#just as hurtful. if not more. with words that are not considered 'bad'. You can still be mean without saying fuck. The point is to be nice#and daddy is nice isn't he. even if he says bad words sometimes.#but neuvillette is like No. No Bad Words. It is considered socially inappropriate for your age group. When you are older#you can decide if you want to use them. however. there are some rules in the classroom and I do not want you girls to get into trouble.#if you get into the habit of cursing like your dad. it'd be hard to keep away from them when you are in class. and bad words frighten papa#so. I ask that you ladies do not use them.#but like I don't think. they'd Punish the kids. the swear jar isn't even like. a punishment. it is a swear tax. every time you say bad word#you have to pay the swear tax. and whatever's in the jar gets taken out for ice cream or whatever to make papa feel better#[ this is how wriothesley explain it ]#and it leads to stuff like. The girls being considerate to Neuvillette firstly (he isn't actually all that bothered he's more scared#of the social repercussions for the girls. But they think he's Scared Of All Bad Words)#so they'd be like. papa cover your ears. I am going to say frightening words. FUCK YOU TIMMY. and then they pay their swear tax#and when Wriothesley curse in front of Neuvillette. the girls are like stop it. you will frighten papa. pay the swear tax NOW#we must acquire the icecream for papa. lest he gets so frightened he runs away forever. and wriothesley is like oh shit yeah that'd be bad#and theyre like DADDY. STOP IT
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There are 60 million people in Britain. There are 200 million in America. (Can that be right?) How many millions of English-speakers other nations might add to the total I cannot even guess. I would be willing to bet, though, that in all those hundreds of millions not more than 50, at the outside, have read A. Roemer, Aristarchs Athetesen in der Homerkritik (Leipzig, 1912), a work untranslated from its native German and destined to remain so till the end of time. I joined the tiny band in 1985. I was 23. The first sentence of this little-known work runs as follows: Es ist wirklich Brach- und Neufeld, welches der Verfasser mit der Bearbeitung dieses Themas betreten und durchpflügt hat, so sonderbar auch diese Behauptung im ersten Augenblick klingen mag. I had taught myself German out of Teach Yourself German, and I recognised several words in this sentence at once: It is truly something and something which the something with the something of this something has something and something, so something also this something might something at first something. I deciphered the rest of the sentence by looking up the words Brachfeld, Neufeld, Verfasser, Bearbeitung, Themas, betreten, durchpflügt, sonderbar, Behauptung, Augenblick, and klingen in Langenscheidt's German-English dictionary.
The Last Samurai by Helen DeWitt, i, 1, p 17
#this is the first page of the first chapter. so not counting the prologue or the epigraphs#the start of the 'action' if you will#she goes on to translate the first 30 pages in this painstaking fashion (not for us. she just summarizes it for us don't worry)#at which point she figures out what his argument is#but it's such a patently stupid argument she thinks that can't possibly be right and reads the next 50 pages#at a faster rate because she's getting better at it#and no. he really is saying that stupid thing. so she drops out of grad school lol#my posts#the last samurai#apologies if there are any typos in the german i do not speak german. or even read the small percentage that the narrator does#helen dewitt is so fucking funny but it's impossible to excerpt any of her humor because it's all so dependent on#things that came much earlier (or later)#so every page i'm going oh my god that's good but i know i can't show anybody because it would lose something out of context#but since this is the first page i felt i could quote it. because there isn't actually much context at all at this point in the book#not sure how many other people will go wow this is hilarious but if you do: this book may be for you
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i am going to say it now btw but the way you perceive alex in yiik is basically how you perceive someone who essentially has severe untreated moral ocd specifically around fearing he has npd and severe bpd and hpd that mimics npd and severe pediatric onset ocd that mimics the symptoms of DID which has happened and can happen according to multiple studies and my actual first psychiatrist who specialized in pediatric ocd btw.
if you perceive him as a narcissist and irredeemable and are going to be ableist about both people with npd and him? yeah you'll perceive him as irredeemable with no good points
if you perceive him as someone with such severe moral ocd that the thought of even OFFENDING his friends makes him fear he's an irredeemable violent criminal who deserves to be executed and has abandonment trauma around his father and abuse trauma around his mother that splintered him into multiple headmates? you're going to understand alex a little better than the average fan or hater.
basically: to understand alex as a character you need to know only one thing and it's he believes like 100 percent that he deserves to be hated for existing and that nobody should love him. it's the opposite of the common perception of him that he believes he should be loved unconditionally because he thinks he doesn't.
#yiik iv#yiik: a postmodern rpg#yiik#alex eggleston#alex eagleston#i'm of the second type btw. alex isn't some irredeemable sociopath he's just a stupid white guy who has way too many mental disorders#that's a majority of why he's Like That#he's got abandonment issues despite his arguments with carrie she was PROBABLY his only friend growing up#(keep in mind rory probably is a parallel of alex as well. he's called the paralleled one for A REASON not just because of the soul thing)#(well. besides simon. who he had a bi genderqueer crush on and was jealous of allison/carrie for scoring instead of him)#his mom was probably the type of woman who let's be real used being a single mother as an excuse#and swang between abusing alex for being THE most autistic person alive and being his coddling overprotective mother#and his dad. i don't like damned daddy let's not talk about damned daddy#alex is the way he IS because his UPBRINGING is basically 'parents don't believe in therapy so he's not getting therapy'#by 'parents don't believe in therapy'#i either think his mother was like 'MY SON DOESN'T NEED THERAPY OR ACCOMMODATIONS HE'S PERFECT'#or 'MY SON DOESN'T NEED ACCOMMODATIONS OR THERAPY HE'D BE A FAILURE IF HE DID AUTISM ISN'T AN EXCUSE'#(the latter is more likely because of the autism 'my diagnosis doesn't define me' alex comment in character as himself)#(that was likely the only diagnosis HE GOT aside from like ocd because autism and ocd diagnoses are twins)#(and he wasn't allowed excuses for autism for the former)#(and for the ocd he probably only looked it up after he saw it on a paper and concluded he's a violent serial killer by being alive)#some of this is VERY much from experience yes but my personal experiences except i got therapy since i was VERY young are like alex#and my relationship with my sibling is what i imagine alex and carrie's to be like: loving but alex had fucking autism and ocd tantrums#so of course alex has probably hit her before and believes he's an irredeemable sociopath for hitting his sister in fits he couldn't contro#so yeah. i know alex more intimately than most people do. alex wants to be unconditionally loved#he says that in the game. he's never been unconditionally loved and he thinks only a plastic robot can give it to him#no wonder alex is the way he is. he thinks even his friends and family will abandon him because he's the way he is for any little mistake#hell he probably assumes PANDA his HEADMATE STUFFED ANIMAL will abandon him someday. he's the way he is for a reason#and that reason is nobody in his life until The Yiik Gang has showed him affection or kindness#and even then he doesn't believe they care about him because his core belief is Nobody Cares About Him
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Omfg. Ya know what, I now believe you when you accuse these IDW stans of being cultists.
I was scrolling through some of your posts the other day and found this one talking about this Kotytang dude on YouTube, and I believe you now. Flynn and Stanley are just brainwashing these people to believe that the comics are good and the games are bad.
I was watching his reviews on the comic issues and let out a long tired sigh when he began to see Surge as his Waifu. but then I saw his posts. One that made me very angry was him saying: "A major problem that I have with Sonic x Shadow Generations is that we have no reason at all to believe that Maria has a genuine connection to Shadow."
Is he fucking serious? The more I scrolled through his comment sections the more I realized that you were right. He has NOTHING good to say about the games.
These people don't like Sonic, so they change Sonic into what THEY want him to BE. And sadly, Flynn and Stanley's asses do the same thing. hence why so many "fans" love these comics.
I fucking PRAY that IDW Sonic will burn and crash and die soon, because I can't take this shit anymore.
Sometimes I do engage in hyperbole. But nothing I ever say about Sonic comics fans is hyperbole or exaggeration.
If you think a single thing that I have ever said about Sonic comic fans is an exaggeration, then that just means you haven't seen what I've seen.
Fans of the Sonic IDW comics would MURDER ME for what I've said about the comic, if they thought they could legally get away with doing so. You think I'm exaggerating? You haven't seen what I've seen. I am being dead serious. And honestly for some of them, it isn't the fear of consequences that's stopping them. It's simply the lack of means.
That's them at their most extreme, their most rabidly cult like. Compared to that, my pointing out the OBJECTIVE FACT that they simply hate the Sonic video game franchise from the bottom of their heart is mild.
The ONLY REASON they like Ian Flynn is because he represents an ideal for them. He is an icon. The "big name fan" who infiltrated the franchise and now he has the keys to the asylum. They GENUINELY AND SINCERELY BELIEVE that Flynn can dictate the canon of the Sonic series, and is slaying the evil dragon of SEGA so that he can turn the franchise into Archie/IDW Sonic The Video Game. Because that's what THEY want to do. They are living vicariously through him.
They sincerely and legitimately resent the video games from the bottom of their heart, they hate everything from them and about them. They have nothing good to say about a single thing that originates from the video games, unless it's something that they claim was "fixed" by the comics and what they enjoy is the comics "version" of it. They derive no joy from the video games. To them, the video games are an albatross. A ball and chain. And yet at the same time, they want to coopt it and turn the video games into what they think the franchise should be i.e. the comics.
It's like they're so insecure and resentful of the fact that their stupid comics owe their existence to the video games that the only way they can cope is by constructing these delusional fantasies of destroying the video games and rebuilding them into interactive representations of the comic books. I don't even know what mental illness you fucking call that. I don't know what else to call that besides pure religious fanaticism.
It's going to be so fucking funny when IDW Publishing finally goes out of business and the comic fucking dies because of that, and everything from them is immediately forgotten about and never even acknowledged again. There'll be some cope for a little bit after it happens, some frothing at the mouth that a new comic publisher can just pick up the license and take over where IDW left off or that SEGA can just self publish the comic themselves, or that it just means the games are going to start adapting the storylines and cast of the comics. They'll deny reality for quite a long time. And it will be insufferable. But it will also be hilarious.
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being a system can be really fucking hard and it comes with a lot of challenges and struggles but man?? I fucking love my headmates. I don't know what I'd do without them and my life is better because they are in it.
#like. OSDD and DID are survival mechanisms yeah?#now that I'm living and not surviving its less of a survival mechanism and more of an. annoying friends and flatmates mechanism#obviously there are arguments and tensions. we're two dozen people sharing a vessel there is no way there wouldn't be#but MAN I would miss othello nights with sunny so much#and I would miss phoebe's stupid fantastic jokes#moon's level headedness and care#jasper's common sense....#francis's giggles and our shared interests and likes#the fact that they know exactly what I'm thinking so miscommunication is super rare#the fact that I know they won't judge me for anything because they all know everything about me anyway#fucking sucks that I had to be bullied for 5 years straight in order to obtain some of my best friends but like . ?#its better than being bullied for 5 years straight and Not having a coping mechanism this strong to help me through it#being a system isn't a consequence for trauma to me. its a consolation and a helping hand (or twenty-something helping hands JKFDSHDJSAKHSD#system#osdd#DID#plural#plurality#system positivity#NON-SYSTEMS PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT EVERY SYSTEMS EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!#many systems are still not in a good place and being a system can be very hard for them#I'm very lucky to be where I am now#just. keep your system friends in mind. look out for them. lift them up. thank you
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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