#and swang between abusing alex for being THE most autistic person alive and being his coddling overprotective mother
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epiceneandroid · 22 hours ago
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i am going to say it now btw but the way you perceive alex in yiik is basically how you perceive someone who essentially has severe untreated moral ocd specifically around fearing he has npd and severe bpd and hpd that mimics npd and severe pediatric onset ocd that mimics the symptoms of DID which has happened and can happen according to multiple studies and my actual first psychiatrist who specialized in pediatric ocd btw.
if you perceive him as a narcissist and irredeemable and are going to be ableist about both people with npd and him? yeah you'll perceive him as irredeemable with no good points
if you perceive him as someone with such severe moral ocd that the thought of even OFFENDING his friends makes him fear he's an irredeemable violent criminal who deserves to be executed and has abandonment trauma around his father and abuse trauma around his mother that splintered him into multiple headmates? you're going to understand alex a little better than the average fan or hater.
basically: to understand alex as a character you need to know only one thing and it's he believes like 100 percent that he deserves to be hated for existing and that nobody should love him. it's the opposite of the common perception of him that he believes he should be loved unconditionally because he thinks he doesn't.
#yiik iv#yiik: a postmodern rpg#yiik#alex eggleston#alex eagleston#i'm of the second type btw. alex isn't some irredeemable sociopath he's just a stupid white guy who has way too many mental disorders#that's a majority of why he's Like That#he's got abandonment issues despite his arguments with carrie she was PROBABLY his only friend growing up#(keep in mind rory probably is a parallel of alex as well. he's called the paralleled one for A REASON not just because of the soul thing)#(well. besides simon. who he had a bi genderqueer crush on and was jealous of allison/carrie for scoring instead of him)#his mom was probably the type of woman who let's be real used being a single mother as an excuse#and swang between abusing alex for being THE most autistic person alive and being his coddling overprotective mother#and his dad. i don't like damned daddy let's not talk about damned daddy#alex is the way he IS because his UPBRINGING is basically 'parents don't believe in therapy so he's not getting therapy'#by 'parents don't believe in therapy'#i either think his mother was like 'MY SON DOESN'T NEED THERAPY OR ACCOMMODATIONS HE'S PERFECT'#or 'MY SON DOESN'T NEED ACCOMMODATIONS OR THERAPY HE'D BE A FAILURE IF HE DID AUTISM ISN'T AN EXCUSE'#(the latter is more likely because of the autism 'my diagnosis doesn't define me' alex comment in character as himself)#(that was likely the only diagnosis HE GOT aside from like ocd because autism and ocd diagnoses are twins)#(and he wasn't allowed excuses for autism for the former)#(and for the ocd he probably only looked it up after he saw it on a paper and concluded he's a violent serial killer by being alive)#some of this is VERY much from experience yes but my personal experiences except i got therapy since i was VERY young are like alex#and my relationship with my sibling is what i imagine alex and carrie's to be like: loving but alex had fucking autism and ocd tantrums#so of course alex has probably hit her before and believes he's an irredeemable sociopath for hitting his sister in fits he couldn't contro#so yeah. i know alex more intimately than most people do. alex wants to be unconditionally loved#he says that in the game. he's never been unconditionally loved and he thinks only a plastic robot can give it to him#no wonder alex is the way he is. he thinks even his friends and family will abandon him because he's the way he is for any little mistake#hell he probably assumes PANDA his HEADMATE STUFFED ANIMAL will abandon him someday. he's the way he is for a reason#and that reason is nobody in his life until The Yiik Gang has showed him affection or kindness#and even then he doesn't believe they care about him because his core belief is Nobody Cares About Him
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