#i think i'm in love with a sentence
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you#mine
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the way i would pay for oliver to write meta about buck's character
#like. he Gets it. i've been thinking about buck in this ep for five days straight and he said it better in one sentence than any paragraph#i could ever come up with#people are arguing over whether buck#acted the way he did bc he wanted tommy's attention or eddie's attention or bc he was feeling left out or whatever but i don't think it's#any one thing i think it was just a general feeling of Wrongness when tommy showed up borne from thirty years of repressing his sexuality#and he tried to rationalize it as jealousy or whatever and worked through the fact that his behavior was completely unreasonable but#it wasn't until tommy kissed him that all of the rage that was trapped inside him was allowed to escape bc he finally had a name for it#he's been turning over parts of himself for years trying to find that final piece and getting more and more upset when it eludes him#n this kiss was the kind of cathartic relief that he so desperately needed bc it allowed him to understand what's been missing#anyway. oliver stark i love you so much i'm so grateful you play buck#buck#rae.txt#911
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something I feel like people miss while reading stormbringer is this line from the second chapter when Dazai and Verlaine met:
'Nevertheless, Dazai continued to slaughter his enemies and serve the Port Mafia in order to force himself into an even darker place.'
So, "why does Dazai stay in the mafia for so long?"
Because he wants to be in a bad place. He wants to commit these atrocities to further dehumanise himself. He wants to alienate himself and is determined to convince both himself and everyone around him that he is a terrible thing, the 'black wraith of the Port Mafia' who had no empathy or sense of humanity.
That's why he stays in the Mafia, that's why he works so hard in the Mafia, that's why he does what he's told. He's an automated killing machine capable of planning out and causing mass destruction, and his fuel is self-hatred.
He doesn't take pride in his 'accomplishments' in the mafia because, again, he doesn't actually want to succeed in the mafia, he wants to prove he's a bad person. He's not in the mafia to try and find a reason to live anymore, his reason for that is Chuuya, he's realised he's not going to find it in the mafia, even if he's not going to admit it until the dark era.
He probably feels a sense of guilt and disgust, but refuses to acknowledge it because he thinks that as something inhuman, he isn't meant to feel things like that, and the more he does, the further he removes himself from any sense of remorse, until he doesn't feel it any more, and probably still hasn't processed even in the ADA.
He stays in the mafia, and does the things he's told with such accuracy and deadliness because he thinks it's the only thing he can do, and he can use it to prove he's no longer human.
#appreciate the use of his ability name in the last sentence please#anyway#he's a complex character and i love him and want to kick him down the stairs in a box#he's so interesting#and stormbringer is mainly chuuya based and I'm thinking about his character a Lot#but also Dazai has some interesting moments that add to his characterisation#that meeting with verlaine is very important#done yapping now#silas yaps#ao3 fanfic#bsd#soukoku#bsd fanfic#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#dazai angst#dazai#dazai osamu#dazai analysis#bsd analysis
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too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.
#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit#about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels#like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they#broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane.#im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them#and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong#i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma#if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more#ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month#but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories#so make of that what you will#and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them#i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them#anyway yeah#f1#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes
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where is my cutscene of eating fish dinner with miss neve gallus bioware
#i feel robbed#the notification is sweet and it made me smile but#i really wish we got some more closure with our companions#because our last conversation with them is before the last battle#there's only some one sentence later and it's basically a quick summary of their personal quests' endings#which was already in the journal after you've finished said quests#some sort of celebration like in origins or inquisition would've definitely left me feeling less empty i suppose?#and more attached to our companions#and if not that then at least like. 5 more sentences??? idk that's not much to ask for i think#i'm happy that at least solas and lavellan had a beautiful closure :)#i finished the game today and i can't stop crying about them#despite this game's flaws i still love it at it still destroyed me emotionally like no other dragon age game has#top 3 games that ruined me tbh#the other two are enderal and a plague tale#dragon age the veilguard#neve gallus#datv spoilers#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers
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well we got kr siz, who is wolf boy diend, not a combination i saw coming... unless he's a cat boy 'cuz he could be a cat burgular
ooooh, yeah, a cat would make sense with the claws too! I think it is supposed to either be cat or wolf, dogs don't tend to get the claw theming like that. 🤔 honestly, Diend is SO opposite from anyone I had speculated on for the furryboy that it is hilarious and I genuinely love this surprising new direction for him. they made (half of) W a catboy, why not Diend too?
(Siz seems pretty far removed from Daiki as a character, but I would kind of love it if he was also a thief, just...in the background. it never actually comes up in the story, he just occasionally leaps in through a window covered in jewels and this is never remarked upon once.)
#art#ride kamens#GIVE EVERYONE ANIMAL EARS AND TAILS. COMMIT TO THE BIT.#anyway let me just say that i LOVE that rui is inexplicably the one who is friendly with q#i didn't see that coming but it is PERFECT#and despite saying siz is removed from daiki i do get the vibe that he has that core of. like.#a good person who is trying to be more cynical and jerkish than he actually is#(decade is objectively not great but i still think tsukasa and daiki were pretty good characters)#this is all based on like three sentences of character description and a relationship chart so i could be waaaay off#but that's the feel i'm getting from him
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man some of y'all have never learned the home training of "keep your hate/critique out the main tags and on your own blog or in critical tags" and then wonder why ppl be vagueblogging or reblogging with disagreements like you didn't show up to the crochet lovers group telling everybody how crocheting was actually Not Fun At All and really hard and doesn't make sense to enjoy, or Problematic, actually instead of keeping it in the group chat with the haterella besties
#we are the series#love sea the series#playboyy the series#and i know ppl are gonna be like “so what we can't critique things now? we should be able to critique media”#baby i didn't say you couldn't like waffles i just said i like pancakes that's a whole new sentence#i'm just saying y'all can't post about how much you Dislike A Thing and then get salty when ppl are like “hey what the fuck bro”#when you come into their house and tell them their decor sucks#like maybe their decor does suck but you're still in their house bro!#just say their decor sucks in your house with the friend group and then ppl won't be like “hey what the fuck bro”#b/c it's your house you can say whatever you want#chaos pikachu speaks#do y'all know how many shows and actors that are hella popular i think are mid af?#do i post that shit in the tags? no i don't and if I did#and the fans were like why are you such a bitch I'd be like fair cause I came into y'alls house
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THIS IS GOING ON MY MAIN BECAUSE I JUST HAVE TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT THIS FANFICTION BROKE ME. I'M CURRENTLY VIBRATING. UNABLE TO THINK OR PROCESS ANYTHING. I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY AND NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. LORD ALMIGHTY. @vinelark, YOU HAVE SINGLE HANDEDLY GRIPPED ME INTO THIS PLOT AND I'M THIS CLOSE TO SOBBING AND THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WOULD WHIP OUT A RING FOR YOU AND I'D LEAVE YOU AT THE ALTER AND AND AND
#so#I may have lost it a little bit#and I take accountability for that#but holy shit#this#this this this#I don't think I've reacted to a fanfiction like this#well#EVER#I have been sat here#fully tense for the past ten minutes#rereading the last sentence of chapter five#and fucking LOSING it#I know we have never talked or met or even glanced at each other upon this hellsite#but thank you and I love you and I'm fucking losing it#this is actually the first dc fanfiction I have ever read#and you've made it so very worth it#thank you so much#I don't think I could have had a better experience for the first fanfiction of this fandome#uh#think of this as a love note to you and your fanfiction if you want to#because I truly do love it and your writing#you've got me so hooked in a way I didn't even realise was possible#to the point where I am still writing about it#I will stop now#but I do love it and you#dc#dc universe#tim drake#kon el superboy
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have to ask, how’d you come up with the idea for that piece for the gotham horror zine with bruce and dick?? the idea is just as insanely cool as the art itself, genuinely
What's more scary than becoming just like your father lol
On a more serious note. Bruce didn't to bring Dick into vigilantism, but Batman in the end swept him under his wing. The inner demons become a real demon and all that.
I also think so much of horror is the price of actions. Bruce pays the price of being Batman by that the people he loves are harmed by his actions.
This curse is forever laid on Dick and now they are even more mirrors of each other. (You are loved by your father, this isn't a comfort it's a life sentence.)
#the 'you are loved by your father this isn't a comfort it's a life sentence' is from a post comparing dick and bruce it Issac and Abraham#I cant find it :(#but also I think I'm pretty incoherent in this explanation but I'm really tired and I drew this almost a year ago so its all a bit fuzzy rn#thank you for the ask!#asks#the art style I was going for was gothic ish but I committed to too many pages for that style ie the cross-hatching#batman#dc
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I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.
Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.
Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.
I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.
And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???
#ryūnosuke akutagawa#osamu dazai#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#q.#14/05/23#Edit:#*the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer together with oda/zai.#But I'm quite tired of receiving anon hate for thinking oda/zai is plainly in love in the text that I've opted for deleting that sentence.#Edit 2: Like I wouldn't even put it beyond canon to make Akutagawa canonly gay for Dazai. His attachment to him has already been–#consistently depicted as blind irrational affection. And it would fall in that specific trope of#“gay character that is alone in their gayness because being gay is something that *can* happen but is also something *others* experience–#and gay people are destined to be sad and lonely because they can only love straight people unrequitedly. Their fate is tragic and sad–#and they will probably die also.”#Like that IS a trope that used to be a thing. I can think of at least a couple of old (and not old) eastern series that use it.#Still unlikely for Akutagawa to be confirmed gay even if it's unrequitedly for Dazai. But I'd say it's still more likely than‚ say‚ making–#s/kk or sskk canon.
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a fading wash of sunlight
So. This is a retired event, where the bazaar started emitting light for a few hours. At one point a voice is heard, and it seems to be the Bazaar (I mean, look at the echoing!)
This is also the event where you could release your dark carapaced crustacean into the light, and it would emerge gilded and giggling like a school girl.
The event is retired and old, so it's hard to say "this information is still fully canon to the universe", but the Bazaar's speech here is really really interesting.
Here's my rampant speculation:
I think the bazaar is talking to Sol, maybe in her sleep or something: the wash of sunlight is coming from the bazaar, but the Bazaar is acting like Sol has appeared unexpectedly and she's scrambling to implore it to Understand something. I think the fading wash of sunlight is a Day-dream, is what I'm saying
"these are my children/this is my light" "this is the Sun who commands run below"
I think light is law here and the bazaar might be comparing itself to a sun. I've been long into the idea the bazaar has aspirations of ascension, as being a judgement is the only way they could legally be together. it might be saying here 'look! I have a world of my own, my own law, my own kingdom, like you'. With the MOTR:
we get the Bazaar's feelings after London just fell. It seems a bit depressed in general but is tired of running and being a Courier. It wants a place of its own. But we know it doesn't ONLY want that, or it would stay in the Neath and chill.
"The one who denied" is likely the. One who said NO to sol, which prompted the bazaar to do All This Shit.
this and
this from 7th letter are all we have about this Other Sun. We don't strictly know it was a love letter, that just makes thematic sense (and the bazaar seems jealous)(and it would work for "love's enemy" of course)(It probably was a rejected love letter but I like to point out alt interpretations and how little we know total)(I got into suncrab out of spite you know initially. I realized the fandom had given me a false idea of the relationship which simplified it to a black/white "sun dickhead bazaar pathetic". So I thought about alt readings of them until I got into it)
Also, note the Bazaar rocking up to the Pheonix like "wait you don't want your flame?? 👀 is it free? Free fire 🔥??"
I'm not sure what "but the enemy, love, is the last we shall see". Beyond 'enemies of love' being the forces which keep them apart. Their relationship is forbidden because of the oppressive laws of the Chain. If their relationship is found out, they and their daughter will be put on trial and sent to some judgement torment nexus.
It makes a promise that All shall be Well. I think the Bazaar's motto might be an echo of what the sun has said to it before. It repeats "all shall be well" constantly without having much luck ensuring that (see: axile). I don't think it has failed to keep All Well on purpose, I think he is basically muttering this promise as a lifeline. Echoing and hoping it'll be true.
and then "Crown me with a knot of flames, my love, my love"
Crown being a word of royalty/ascension. what 'flames' means in FL I'm not sure, but it here is suggestive of 'make me a judgement'.
Then it apologizes... "Forgive my trespasses" a bit late after asking to be crowned. What trespass? Something it did angered the sun but it wasn't punished or killed either.
Elsewhere in a lacre vision: "You dream, feverishly, of a bright light in a long lone empty place; of a gift given and a gift rejected; of the one you love moving away, inevitably as the motions of an orrery, distant as childhood." and elsewhere is it repeated the sun rejected the bazaar.
I think the gift rejected is love, and the bazaar's trespass was something in the confession of that love.
It continues "the fire and the rose are one"-- if the bazaar wishes for a fire crown, does it wear a rose one now? Roses are love, follies, devils, temptation, desire.... is the bazaar trying to prove a point that love is an equal force to fire? Love and feeling are as powerful as law and the fabric of the universe? More powerful?
Anyway thanks for coming to my BazaarTalk. For the 15th anniversary we should get this event back but better (it was hourly so few peoplegot to see all of it). And more.
#fallen london#suncrab#fallen london spoilers#Theories#I have a lot of stray theories I want to collect one day about. I love broad speculating!!!#I get nervous (end of sentence) bc fl is sooo open to interpretation I know I am biased to look to (crab)love always#But there is a lot of stuff where I'm like “I THINK THIS IS SOMETHING” but it's way too open ended to be a proper “theory”#For example I have a couple fun ideas about the Prester's appetite. I have a not fun idea about what happened to Stone regarding the ToF
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i think sacred music in the kryn dynasty would be very cyclical and repetitive in form to symbolize the idea that life is a continuous thing (at least those who are consecuted right right) and is a cycle across lifetimes and yeah
#court rambambles#cr#critical role#kryn dynasty#finishing up my religions class and i've used the last two topics to research non-western music because hi music major western music gets#super fucking boring. and i've been having a Blast listening to classical indian music. this shit slaps. i fucking LOVE music with drones.#but since this is a religions class obvs im researching in in the context of religion so I'm doing music in hinduism and this was something#brought up in like 2 sentences not even in a paper im using a a ref and it reminded me a lot of this and idk yknow. very neat.#ive been thinking a lot about fantasy music as well. okay like using western music and medieval western European music as inspo is fine and#dandy.#but like goodness guys there are so many other amazing cultures and styles and genres of music and subdivisions within cultures and i just.#im so amazed by them. give me that microtonal music give me these awesome instruments give me these great scales and rhythms and just. yes#if anyone comes from some non western European cultures and has neat traditional/folk/classical/whatever music and they want to share it my#dms and ask boxes are/should be open and stuff. please i just like learning about music across the world#*non western-european bc yknow eastern europe has unique things too#FOLLOW ME FOR MORE POSTS LIKE THIS WHERE I RAMBLE ABOUT MUSIC AND MY INTERESTS. SOMETIMES I EVEN POST ART AND TALK ABOUT MY OCS WHOAAAA#please talk to me about music i just really like music. it's not like im majoring in it at all. is it a smart idea in this economy with adh#wellll yknow
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I think Otta would be very likely to hit on Packpatty instead of Mayjack
#I now people like butches and toxic lesbians but listen#since Mayjack takes after Chilchuck the most I'm sure she got his high sense of judgement and would very much turn her down immediately#meanwhile Packpatty has a tendency to take life a bit too lightly so it's easy for Otta to get her chance#also because Otta is an elf who possibly has a high position and despite being a prisoner her sentence got shortened post canon#I thought the ship can be a thing because Packpatty probably would be willing to take a shot knowing there's a chance Otta would ditch her#talk#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#meijack#mayjack#packpatty#puckpatti#otta#we all know how their relationship would end#But anyone wanna bet how long will it last?#it's just me thinking about background characters like Marcille being delusional about people's love life#this is definitely something that makes not only Chilchuck but Mayjack and Flertom go crazy#and it's gonna be comedy worth
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Happy Sunday, everyone! So the Time Loop AU has accidentally sort of become a bit of a character study as well (though it's a time loop before anything else), so here's a little Carlos lore behind that pale green sweater. Which, funnily enough, coincidentally goes with the color scheme of yesterday's mood board! 💚
Luisa told him pale green meant peace, harmony, new beginnings and new life. ‘Spring in a Bottle’ is what his dad once called it when he walked by their flashcards. For some reason, that was the symbolism that always stuck to him like glue.
When Carlos turned 16, he was hopelessly love in Javier Barrera and lying to himself about it. After coming home from a particularly rough day at school, his mom asked him if wanted to paint his room and if so, what color.
He took a beat to think about how he had been feeling. How his body had been changing, how his heart kept breaking and how he wanted things to start anew. Eventually, a rickety voice shaken by the hands of puberty answered with, “Pale green.”
After taking a second to dry from the memories that washed over him, Carlos slipped on the pale green sweater with ease. Pale green once found a way to breathe new life into him, maybe it could do the same for TK.
Thanks for the tags:
Thanks for the tags @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes, @heartstringsduet, @strandnreyes, @orchidscript
and @sznofthesticks, @reyesstrand, @carlos-in-glasses,
No pressure tagging:
@herefortarlos, @honeybee-taskforce, @lightningboltreader
@lemonlyman-dotcom, @vineofroses, @nancygillianmvp, @never-blooms, @bonheur-cafe
@basilsunrise, @carlos-tk, @freneticfloetry, @paperstorm, @theghostofashton
@thebumblecee, @your-catfish-friend, @ladytessa74, @safeaswrites, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut
and here's an open tag :)
#if you liked the carlos character study i think you're gonna love this chapter <3 (NOT AS SAD)#if i'm given enough time in this guy's head we're going to unearth something it's a given#and i've just spent four months and 33k words doing it so LOL#fic: love can pull you out of yesterday#seven sentence sunday
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does anyone want to join me on the aventurine/argenti train. it's got all the perks of being as funny as any other argenti ship - especially given the random absurdity of their first meeting. what the hell was argenti doing in the depths of the nihility? who even knows anymore man. but like also i think it has the potential to be really sweet?
aventurine hasn't let anyone In since his sister died. he's long since forgotten how to Trust, and Love, and how to BE Loved. and this, combined with enormous amounts of survivor's guilt and trauma and being treated as an object, has really done a number on his self-esteem. he doesn't act like it (because he's learned that it's dangerous to be vulnerable; it's the one gamble he's not willing to take), but 2.1 gave us that glimpse into his inner dialogue and it is Bad in there
between his conversation with acheron, the note veritas left for him, and finding a sense of closure in the apparition of his younger self, he's on track to becoming better. we can see it in the way he pretty much immediately reaches out to the trailblazer to get some things off his chest once he gets his phone working again. and the way he's accepting what is basically a form of therapy from the doctors of chaos. but his self-hatred has been building up for years, and it's going to take a long time to unpack and unlearn all of that
so like, in comes argenti, right? he's a loud show-off, but he is SO earnest. he sees the beauty in everything and everyone. he's kind, and gentle, and so full of love. he also comes off as a bit... lonely to me? he's spent so much of his life chasing after idrila's shadow, and only catching a glimpse of them in his many near-death experiences (and isn't that something to think about...........). he's not like, secretly miserable or faking or anything - i think his exuberance is 1000% genuine. but humans are social creatures; everyone wants and requires at least some form of closeness and intimacy. to have a love to pursue in This realm... someone he can see and hold without needing to have one foot in an early grave . i think that would be good for him. that's all
anyway, it's clear that argenti was pretty enchanted by aventurine
like yeah that's kind of just how he talks normally but !?@,%&#& that's a lot of awfully romantic things to say about one specific person out of the several you apparently rescued (??????? god i love this guy he makes no sense. literally why are you even here bud). it seems that aventurine's more subdued state left an impression on him too, and well wouldn't it be pretty in character for him to start popping in randomly... as he does, because he can apparently just go wherever the fuck he wants. to check on this sad yet oh so beautiful peacock.. to try to bring a true smile to his face... to show him how kind and beautiful the universe can be......
i think aventurine might have a hard time laughing off offers of comfort and company and the beginnings of a courtship if it comes from someone like argenti. this man couldn't be disingenuous if he tried. he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve as much as he rips it out of his chest to show you. it'll be a learning curve regardless - aventurine is too used to needing to constantly prove his worth to keep anyone around and to keep them from hurting him
but do you see it. do you see the vision. do you see how Sweet this could be. aventurine is about to receive more roses than he'll know what to do with
#i spent enough time on this that i think i can...#honkai star rail#argenti#aventurine#aventi... argenturinenope i hate this one actually#avegenti. dude i don't know don't ask me i'm just the messenger#like can i just say that what most ratiorine shippers are trying to squeeze out of that would be better found Here.#i don't mind the ship as much as i used to. veritas is kinder than i gave him credit for. i can even enjoy it if done right#but like#? veritas may be kinder than i originally thought but he's not that kind.#he's harsh truths and tough love. he started to soften after aventurine's unexpected death sentence and he has the potential to soften more#but guys i don't think a ratiorine relationship that takes place so soon after the events of penacony or god forbid BEFORE-#is going to go that smoothly#veritas has his head pretty deep in his own ass. it's going to take him a bit to get that out#he's more likely to hurt aventurine and send him right back into his defensive shell than he is to actually help him along his recovery#and/or aventurine is likely to dismiss any of his attempts to be more forthcoming with his feelings because of his perceived dislike for hi#and just how their working relationship always was Before#if you want to talk about that and the messy struggle to be better for each other after they stomp all over the other's heart#i'm all ears man.#but if you want something that's softer from start to finish and not so stressful... listen to me. argenti and aventurine is where that's a#i think both options are appealing tbh? in their own ways
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i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????
#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary#bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it#so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences.#being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much#compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself#tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments.#tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts#could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably#and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist#but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think#this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines#and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before#it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person.#this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3#we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically#p
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