#we all know how their relationship would end
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navybrat817 · 3 days ago
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Knock You Down a Peg or Two
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Pairing: Husband!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Someone learns the hard way that it's a bad idea to upset Bucky's wife.
Word Count: Over 1.5k
Warnings: Established relationship, violent threats (not against the reader), protective vibes, implied sexy times, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: I'm in a mood, lovelies. We can consider this in the same universe as Mr. and Mrs. Barnes and Handsome and Beautiful. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky was no longer the Winter Soldier. He told himself every day he wasn't a cold killer anymore. He did his best to make amends and worked hard to clear his name. From time to time though, people pushed his buttons and got under his skin. You helped him brush it off. Their opinions didn't matter at the end of the day, only yours.
You mattered to him more than anything else. So, if someone bothers him, yeah, he could let it go. Someone upsetting you? He wouldn't stand for it.
Bucky's eyes narrowed as he spotted the little weasel sitting at the table in the break room alone. A few hours ago, you called him to vent about how this guy repeatedly tried to make you look bad in front of your superior during a meeting. It wasn’t the first time either. Your tears of frustration were obvious by your tone on the other end, though you tried to hide them. You worked hard, harder than anyone else he knew, and you took your job seriously.
He saw red when he heard you sniffle and it was the only color he had seen since then.
“Give me his name.”
“Bucky, no,” you had argued. “The guy’s a prick and I just needed to vent, so you don’t-”
“Please, baby,” he whispered, knowing full well you could handle yourself, but you were his wife and someone took joy out of your day. Not just that, they made you cry. He took this personally and he wanted to defend you. “Just give me his name so I can take care of it.”
You softly gave him the name, and he made it a priority to find the asshole. It didn’t take him long. No one even questioned why he was asking. It must’ve been his “murder strut” and glare. You once said it could break even the strongest of people.
He headed toward the empty chair beside the agent, careful not to make a sound. His stealth assisted with that. Once he reached the chair though, he made it a point to scrap the chair across the floor to get the prick's attention. The annoyance in his eyes quickly shifted to fear when he realized who he was looking at.
Good. He hoped he pissed his pants.
He made a show of slipping off his leather jacket before taking a seat, making sure the agent got a good look at his metal arm. He also made a show of getting one of his knives out, one you gifted him. “I think we can skip the introductions since you know who I am and I really don't give a shit who you are,” he began, his voice low as he twirled the knife between his fingers. “But I understand you know my wife and, well, she’s the reason I’m here.”
The guy blinked when Bucky made eye contact, the blade still expertly weaving in his hand. “S-Sure. Everyone knows your wife.”
Bucky smiled softly, taking a second to glance at his wedding band. “I’m usually not one to brag, but I can’t help it when it comes to her. She works hard and deserves all the praise she gets, but she’s still humble. Appreciative. Loyal,” he boasted, still smiling before he glared again. “She’d never throw anyone under the bus, especially in front of a superior.”
The little weasel cleared his throat, sitting up a bit straighter in his chair. He seemed to notice for the first time that they were the only two people there. “Look, I don’t know what your wife said, but-”
Bucky pointed the blade at him. “I would think very carefully about what comes out of your mouth next,” he snarled, his eyes as cold as ice.
There was a beat of silence as the guy squirmed in his seat and averted his gaze. Bucky wished you were there to see it. And Steve and Sam. “I may have run my mouth a bit. I just wanted to knock her down a peg or two, you know? She keeps getting promoted and…” he swallowed when Bucky’s eyes narrowed to slits. If this fucker even thought about implying that you slept your way to get where you were today, he may actually cut his throat. “Please, don't kill me.”
The silence after that statement may have been uncomfortable for some, but Bucky didn’t break a sweat. No, he was just thinking of all the different ways he could put him in the hospital for even thinking he had a right to put you down. Putting the knife away, he slowly got to his feet. “Get up,” he said quietly, flexing his hands in intimidation.
“Fuck.” The man nearly knocked his chair over as he stood. “Listen, I’m sorry,” he blurted out, putting his hands out in front of him. “I’ll apologize to her first thing tomorrow, I swear.”
“You think that makes up for it? And are you sorry for trying to make her look bad or are you sorry that you’re under my radar now?” Bucky’s stare remained steady as he knocked his chair out of the way, the piece of furniture nearly splintering when it hit the wall. “Everyone knows what I'm capable of, but do you know what happens to people who upset. My. Wife?”
Bucky refused to say that you cried. The asshole might take that as a sign of victory and he wouldn’t give him any sort of win. He didn’t deserve it. He didn't deserve to be in the same space as you.
The guy’s mouth parted as he took a few steps back on shaky legs. “I-It won’t happen again! I swear!”
“No, it won't, but how about I cut your tongue out so you can’t run your mouth again? Maybe pull out your teeth, too?” Bucky knocked the table away next as he advanced. “Or how about your eyes so you won’t look at her either. Hell, I’ll settle for taking your arm. We’ll match.”
The man let out what sounded like a whimper, his teeth nearly chattering from his fear. Scaring people had given him nightmares, haunted him, but it fueled his fire when he terrified anyone in your honor. “I won’t bother her ever again! I’ll tell my boss she deserves another promotion! I'll transfer! You have my word! I’m sorry!”
Bucky laughed after a moment, a bitter, chilling sound before he held up a hand. “I’m just fucking with you.”
His eyes were still wide with fear. “W… What?”
“I was just trying to scare you a little. You should see the look on your face,” Bucky chuckled again, lightly smacking the guy’s cheek. “Listen, you don’t have to transfer and I’m not going to torture you. Just apologize to my girl and we’re good, okay?”
“Okay.” He let out a breath and chuckled, too. “You really won’t torture me?”
“No, I won’t,” he grinned, grabbing his shoulders. “But I will knock you down a peg or two.”
The prick didn’t see the headbutt coming, but he felt it before he hit the ground. Bucky knew he’d feel it in the morning, too. He got off lucky.
“You know, after you apologize to my wife, I hope you do stay so you can see her continue to thrive,” Bucky toed the guy’s body with his boot. “And speaking of, I need to go buy her some flowers, chocolate, and wine. She deserves it.”
Grabbing his jacket from the broken chair across the room and brushing it off, he whistled as he left the room. He waited until he was a good distance away to call. You picked up on the second ring.
“Hey.” You sounded much better than you did earlier. “So, what’s the damage?”
“Hey, baby,” he smiled. “I headbutted the prick. And before you ask, my head feels great.”
The former assassin may get suspended for that and damaging the table and chair, but he doubted the asshole would have the balls to speak up about what happened.
“Bucky…” you sighed. You were probably pinching the bridge of your nose. “What am I gonna do with you?”
“You’re gonna let me eat you for dessert when I get home,” he smirked. Not that he needed an excuse to dive between your legs, but he'd take any chance he had. “Figure I'll give you at least two orgasms before dinner.”
“Is that right, Mr. Barnes?”
“That is right, Mrs. Barnes.”
The sound of your giggle spread warmth through his chest. Your happiness was his happiness. “Better not keep me waiting,” you teased, pausing for a beat. “Thank you.”
“Nothing to thank me for,” he said. You always stuck up for him without question.
“Love you.”
His heart swelled more. “Love you, too.”
He’d have some more explaining to do once he got home and would probably have to pay for the damage he caused. He was also sure that you were plotting the demise of the man’s career and would tell him that he didn’t need to do anything, but he wanted to. He was no longer the Winter Soldier.
But he was your husband and he’d defend you with his life, no matter what.
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Violence isn't the answer, but this is fanfiction and we all deserve a loving Bucky. ❤️ Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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xinganhao · 2 days ago
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✏️ seatmates joshua x reader.
prompt: "we sit next to each other every day, i lend you pencils, you share snacks with me, people are assuming we’re a couple, let’s go with that." ✶ part of my svt university milestone event
⤿ fluff, slight miscommunication, joshua is whipped, jeongcheol [if u squint!]. more content under the cut. ♡⸝⸝ prompt from anon!
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It's not looking like a good start of the week for Seungcheol.
He had an insane bender the night before. He missed the morning bus to school and ended up walking the whole two-kilometer way. And now, the not-quite-a-couple duo who sat in front of him at class was back on their bullshit again.
With his fingers pressed to his temple, Seungcheol watches warily as the starry-eyed boy— Joshua, Seungcheol thinks his name is— places a canned coffee atop the edge of your desk. God, Seungcheol would kill for that right about now.
He's too far gone to make out anything the two of you are saying, but Seungcheol can fill in the blanks. It's probably something stupid, he thinks bitterly. Good morning, love. How was your weekend, love? I missed you, love.
Blegh.
There's only one thing he can think to do. Seungcheol whips out his phone and shoots out a quick slew of texts, trying to ignore the way that Joshua has begun to laugh a little too loud at something you just said.
Seungcheol it's a monday and i'm hungover and the pretty boy in front of me keeps making heart eyes at his seatmate he's laughing. i'm hungover to the heavens and he's laughing god what have i done to deserve this god when will it be my turn Jeonghan you think someone else is pretty? :( Seungcheol do NOT start with me rn
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Seokmin doesn't think Joshua notices.
It's just like Joshua, really, to be a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to matters of the heart. And so Seokmin nods along, the perfect picture of indulgence, as you wheedle your way into Joshua's every day.
You don't even have to show up in the physical sense. Joshua fills in those gaps for you. I think they'll like this, Joshua (while holding a box of some obscure snack) tells Seokmin at the grocery store. They'll get a kick out of that, Joshua cackles as he snaps a photo of a silly eraser.
Seokmin knows he could, should probably ask his best friend what the hell is going on. The boy is in desperate need of a quick 'check-the-label' moment, honestly.
In the end, Seokmin decides: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
He figures the two of you will eventually hammer it out yourselves. It's a rite of passage, isn't it? The limbo of flirtation, confined in the four corners of a classroom. The happy crush that may or may not reciprocate.
As Joshua all but skips— honest-to-God skips!— to the Wednesday session of his class with you, Seokmin can't help the fond shake of his head at what Joshua has gotten himself into. Sharing snacks and stationery every M/W/F?
There are worse situationships to have, Seokmin concedes.
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Professor Kang has been in the academe for nearly two decades.
He's watched relationships bloom, and last, and end. One or two students have even invited him to their weddings. There's no shortage of gossip in the faculty rooms; there's always a seating plan to orchestrate, a partnered project to use for a little drama.
He likes to think he has a sixth sense for this sort of thing, and that's why he initially believed that you and Joshua... aren't really a thing.
Sure, the two of you bend your heads together a little too close when discussing something. He notices, too, the exchanges— both the transactional and spoken ones. But he's unconvinced, for the most part of the semester, that there's not really anything worth reading into.
That is, until, you don't show up to class one day. On a whim, Professor Kang asks Joshua about your absence, and the boy fumbles with his phone for a couple of minutes.
"Doctor's appointment," Joshua eventually divulges, though there's a slightly worried crease in his eyebrows that has Professor Kang thinking, huh.
That huh gives way to an ah when, at the next class, the two of you slot right back into place. Professor Kang catches bits and pieces of your conversation with Joshua; how he eagerly inquires about your Friday plans, how he listens intently to your little rants.
As the two of you walk out the classroom, your shoulders brush. It's slight enough that anybody not really looking would miss it, would dismiss it, but Professor Kang can only watch with amusement. Joshua apologizes for crowding you— only to take an infinitesimal step closer as the two of you leave the classroom.
By the time the two of you are out in the hall, your shoulders are almost touching again.
Ah, Professor Kang thinks. He swears he's seen it all in the past twenty years, but he's not immune to making mistakes.
Perhaps they're a little bit in love, after all.
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angelltheninth · 21 hours ago
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Vander and Silco Get Baby Fever After Seeing Felicia Have Kids
Pairing: Vander, Silco x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, established relationship, creampie, size difference, breeding kink, mentioned future pregnancy, on the bar, desk sex
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: I saw them in that flashback and haven't had time to get them out of my mind sense. They were all so hot, we lost so much!
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Vander was usually careful when having sex, at least when it came to pulling out on time
Lately he's been actively pushing you against his cock to make sure his cum goes inside you, not out
Will put you in a headlock while he breeds you
If he notices you teasing him through the day he will wipe the bar down at the end of the night and fuck you on top of it, not even caring to carry you to the bedroom
Already has a list of names in his head
Uses his fingers to push his cum back into your pussy while holding you up with his other hand, those fingers dancing along your spine
Gets pussydrunk very easily when you say how much you want him to make you pregnant, how good of a dad you know he'll be
Could go all night if he thinks it would increase the chances of your pregnancy
Raises your ass when he fucks you from behind, his strong thighs smacking against your cheeks hard, the bed protesting under you both
Eats his cum from your pussy if it leaks out, at least then it won't fully go to waste
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Silco never thought he'd want to become a dad but now it's all he can think about, all day, every day
Cockwarming was always one of his favorite things, one of the best ways to pass the time while he works but now there's an added bonus to it of him keeping your pussy nice and full
Bends you over the desk almost immediately after you enter his office and actually enjoys seeing his cum drip down your thighs
Has so much more cum to give you so it's no issue
Never masturbates, not until you get pregnant anyway, because he wants to make sure that as much of his seed ends up in your womb as possible
Knows that pregnancy will be hard, and raising the kid even harder, he is ready to be there every single step of the way, especially when all the hormones kick in
Folds you into a mating press, the slight curve of his cock hitting your sweet spot and making your pussy squeeze so hard you milk the cum right out of his balls
If he really gets into it it's debatable if he would stop fucking you if someone were to walk in
Every time he imagines how beautiful you'd look pregnant his cock stirs in his pants, it's a problem if he's at work during that time
When he's balls deep inside of you he gets very talkative and starts brainstorming names and things that you'll need to buy for the baby
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cherrybr4t · 2 days ago
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ex for a reason — choi seungcheol (+18)
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cheol feels a wave of possessiveness when he sees your ex-boyfriend!
warnings: unprotected sex, fingering (f rec), sl*t, degradation (f rec), daddy cheol!, spanking, tit playing, jealousy! est. relationship, a little possessiveness haha, creampie, that’s all i think! ok enjoy <3
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if seungcheol could pinpoint exactly why he, too, is a creature bound to the notion of possessiveness — he would. except, at this point of time, all he feels is rage.
not at you — no, no not at all. how could he ever be angry at his princess? the poor guy falling victim to his fiery glares would be your ex-boyfriend. said ex-boyfriend — mingyu, was definitely too buzzed to notice the hard daggers thrown at him.
you however, are quick to notice the switch in tension after mingyu came over to give you a hug, gushing over how it’s been forever since you’ve last met. you return the kind smile. after all you and him did end on cordial terms.
that ticks something off in seungcheol’s head. the way mingyu’s arms seemed too familiar — too comfortable snaking around you. all while he was standing there right beside you.
he shakes hands with mingyu, squeezing a little too tight until he notices the wince on that pretty boy’s face. head’s too busy thinking about the fact that he’s held you close under his covers before.
“baby, you all right?” you squeeze the hands that are tightly wrapped around your waist.
seungcheol hums, “yeah baby, just a little tired is all,” he reassures, leaving a peck on your temple. you narrow your eyes, knowing he’s withholding words from you.
“y’sure? we can leave early — anytime you wanna,” raising your brows at him, offering an exit.
“no baby, i’m fine. it’s your friend’s birthday after all, let’s stay a while more — enjoy this bottle of whiskey she has,” he lifts up the $3000 bottle off the table top, waving it slightly.
seungcheol self soothes. he thinks he’s got it all under control, it’s not like you’ve got residual feelings attached to mingyu — its been almost two years. but with the way mingyu keeps gazing over towards you, with that fucking smirk, seungcheol thinks he’s about to lose it.
the party is in full swing — party hits back to back, loud chatting over the speakers, with people dancing around. he sees mingyu start to make his way across the room towards the both of you.
without much thought, seungcheol pulls you in closer — if even possible, grabs your hand and leads you to a room. a guest room which you recognise due to the nights spent in your friend’s house.
“cheol, baby? what’s wrong?” you catch your breath, looking up at him and furrowing your eyebrows.
cheol tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. he looks at you tenderly, before deciding to come clean. it’s not the first time he’s informed you of how jealousy tends to cloud his mind.
“i…just couldn’t stand your ex being there. standing there looking at you, as if i’m not there right beside you — was fucking pissing me off,” he sighs out, leaning his forehead against yours, body to body.
you let out a small chuckle, “baby, you know how he is… plus the only man i’ve ever looked at the whole night — is standing right in front of me right now. he’s all i wanna look at.” you nibble on your bottom lip, hoping seungcheol catches every nuance of sincerity you’re projecting.
“yeah? i know baby.. sorry it’s just, i can’t help it. want him to back off. want him to know who you belong to now,” his voice barely above a whisper.
you gaze up, giving his plump lips a kiss. a simple peck which turned into sucking, biting and licking — which was the case all of the time because who could resist and pull away from those lips?
he kisses you back with even more urgency, even more passion and love — and you feel him take charge, grabbing your nape to pull you in closer. he wants to taste all of you, every inch and spot — he wants it all. wants the reassurance that you’re now his and only his to hold, to touch, to pleasure.
“you’re all mine aren’t you,” he growls out mid kiss, grabbing you by your chin, staring so deep into your eyes you feel the need seeping into you from his gaze alone.
“always have been, cheol.”
his heart settles at your voice. knows you’re his. but hearing it makes him feel a whole ‘nother level of complete. loves when you play to his possessive selfish desires.
“fuck,” he mutters to himself before sitting himself down on the edge of the bed, pulling you down to straddle above him.
he pushes and combs your hair to the back, hands rubbing up and down your body, hands claiming what’s his. he takes in your silhouette in front of him — sitting so prettily, just waiting to be devoured by him.
“you’re too beautiful baby, hate the thought of someone else getting to see you the way i do,” he removes the strap of your top, teasing slowly as he starts to pull your top above your stomach.
you raise your hands, letting him remove your top. he hisses, sucks in a sharp breath, noticing you went braless for the night.
“braless tonight baby? thank god it was warm out there. imagine if these,” he tugs on both nipples harshly, “were to stand if it were cold,” he releases them, rubbing over your hard nipples softly in circles with his thumb. “then that ex boyfriend of yours would’ve been able to see what’s mine, wouldn’t he.”
you whimper at the hard and soft sensation on your nipples, knowing he’s going gentle on you now.
“you’d like that baby? want him to see you like that?” he slaps across your tits, tainting the soft flesh with his print. you let out a whine, “n-no…don’t want him to,”
“yeah? it’s for my eyes only, right baby?” his hand inches towards your core, completely exposed under your mini skirt by the way you’re sitting.
he rubs his fingers over your panties, smirking at the wet patch he feels on your center.
“so wet baby, thinking about me or thinking about him?”
you frown and gasped at him indignantly, “you. baby — i don’t understa—” he slaps your cunt, soothing it immediately afterwards with a few gentle rubs across your core.
he knows it’s him, knows only he can get you so dippy — likes a confirmation of it anyways.
he pulls you in for another heated kiss while his fingers continue to stay busy toying with your clothed cunt. your warm cunt that he wants to drown in all the time.
“remove your panties and go on all fours for me baby,” he grabs your hips, lifting you off him. you silently think of ways to apologise to your friend before getting comfortable on the bed, just clad in your mini skirt.
seungcheol groans at the supple flesh of your ass spilling out of the short fabric. pulling you closer to the edge, he grips onto the flesh. fingers tense, possessiveness dripping down his fingertips. needs to feel you on every active nerve to remind himself that you’re solely his.
he dives in to give one long lick up your soaked cunt. you moan out his name, and he groans out how fucking wet you are.
“fuck baby, i think if i were to fuck you right now my cock would slide right in,” he settles for his fingers for now, feeling the way your walls immediately tighten around his finger.
“cheol…daddy, want more..” you push your hips back, wiggling your ass in his face. he slaps a harsh one down your cheeks, and you wince, whimpering slightly.
“greedy slut. think you deserve more? letting your ex boyfriend hug you like that,” he says that but inserts two fingers in this time. bottoming out to his knuckles, curling his fingers.
“d-don’t be angry daddy, you know i only want daddy… want you only…” you beg, breath hitching every time he hits the spot all the way inside.
“show me baby, tell daddy how much you want him.” he sees you look over your shoulders, eyes wide and sweat starting to form on the edge of your hairline.
the cocky look on his face has you tightening around his fingers. him fully clothed, fingers deep inside you while you lay so pliantly for him. you would do anything for this man. and so would he.
“please daddy, want you to make me cum. need your cock.” gripping onto the bedsheets tighter as you feel him sneakily insert a third finger.
“yeah baby? doesn’t seem like you want it that bad. i’ve heard you beg better.” he coos. he knows you could go louder — loud enough for him and the other guests to possibly hear. needs to set him straight.
you whine. god. frustration starting to boil and mix with the immense pleasure in your core. you know how cheol is. how he can get mean in bed.
“want—want you to fuck me daddy. please. need you so bad. please please cheol,” your voice breaks. you feel his other hand reach from behind to tug on your nipples, before reaching down to leave teasing touches to your puffy clit begging for attention.
he’s a master a multi-tasking. thinks when it comes to you, he’ll be a master at anything. anything that makes his princess feel good.
“fuck baby, making such a fucking mess. so desperate to cum aren’t you.” at this point, he’s more desperate than you to make you cum. he feels his cock growing so hard it hurts, and if he doesn’t cum inside you soon he’s going to lose it.
“fuck baby. show me why you’re my good girl yeah? cum on my fingers and i’ll think about letting you cum on my cock.” he rams his fingers so hard inside you, other hand rubbing tight and fast circles around your clit.
“cum for me baby, moan out my name nice and loud while you do yeah? let everyone know who’s making you feel good right now,”
with his urging, you snap and unravel, gushing out while cumming around his fingers. you scream out his name as you cum, hands turning white by how hard you’re holding on to the sheets.
“fuck daddy, so good… so good…” you puff out as you come down from your high. no time to register as you hear his pants drop to the floor.
“turn around baby, come sit on me.” you push yourself up, only to see him already leaning against the headboard, hand stroking his hard on. grunting. hints of pre-cum glistening in the dim room light. his gaze hard on you as he strokes himself.
you bite your lip, crawling slowly towards him before settling in front of him. he tilts his head, letting his pre-cum coat his length.
“think he heard you cumming all over my fingers?” cheol prompts. you flush, nod a little, think anyone within a few metre radius distance from the room would’ve heard you begging cheol to make you cum.
“wait til he hears how good my cock makes you feel baby,” he guides you towards him, letting you hover over his cock for a moment.
“you okay baby?” he whispers and gets a confirmation from you. “just want your cock in me,”
the tip presses against your entrance, and like what he predicted earlier, you sunk down his cock with ease, soaking wet cunt welcoming him eagerly. he groans, voice croaky. head so clouded by how snug and warm you feel.
“you feel so good princess, you feel fucking perfect around me,” he husks. his eyes unable to tear away from you — the way your mouth opens, gasps leaving you as you take him in all the way. the way your brows furrow with sweat down the middle. the blush spread on your cheeks and the moan you let out as you feel him completely.
he holds on to your hips, guiding you up and down his cock. switching between bouncing you and letting you grind on him.
“so fucking pretty, you always take me so well,” his brows stay furrowed, unable to fully process how fucking good you feel around him. feels like he could cum any moment.
“cheol.. daddy..so good daddy,” you moan out, you see and feel nothing but him and him only at this moment. and you want him to know how good he makes you feel.
“yeah baby? daddy’s cock making you feel good?” he raises his eyebrows, head hitting the back of the bed so hard yet he can’t feel the impact of it. so lost in the moment — wants you to cum around him, wants to cum inside of you.
“so so so good daddy,” you cry out, hands playing with your tits, giving him a little show as he continues to work your hips on him. his strong hands doing most of the work for you, while you focus on the feeling of his tip hitting and grinding against your gummy spot. the way he keeps creating waves of butterflies in your lower stomach.
“that’s it, let him hear how good i make you feel baby,”
“show him how you’re my needy little slut, bet he’s never gotten you like this,”
“no one can make you feel like i do right baby, no one compares to daddy right?” cheol utters out, cursing out every time he feels your walls tighten around him.
“n-no one daddy. only you can make me feel this way,” you cry out. “only you daddy, only you,” and it’s true. cheol works around your body like no other, like magic. knowing every spot of your body and how to take you there — faster than anyone ever.
his fingers make their way to your clit once again, and you jerk forward the moment he starts to rub messily on your slippery bud again.
“that’s it baby. only daddy can ever make you feel this way,” he snaps his hips up faster, feeling his incoming orgasm the more he hears you cry out.
“you’re doing so good baby, taking me so well. you belong on daddy’s cock don’t you,” he moans out. holding back on his thrusts, focusing on your clit to make you cum again. knows he won’t be able to hold back any longer if he continues fucking up into you.
“cum for daddy again? wanna see you cum around daddy’s cock. i know you can baby,” his pace quickens and he groans — knowing how it goes, knowing when you’re about to cum. needs to hear you fall apart on his cock.
“almost there baby, cum for daddy — that’s it that’s it… feels so fucking good doesn’t it baby, look at you.” his words alone bring you to a new high, cumming so hard around his cock, screaming his name so loud you think the upstairs neighbour knows who cheol is.
“fuck baby. gonna cum. gonna cum so fucking hard inside of you baby.” his hands find their way back on your hips, gripping onto dear life as he snaps his hips up into your dripping cunt.
“ah fuck, fuck i’m cumming baby, daddy’s gonna cum inside of you,” and you clench around him, watching the final string break as he whines out, and you feel his hot cum shooting inside you, painting your walls.
thick hot cum continues to spurt inside of you as he slowly fucks it in you, pushing his cum deep inside every crevice of your cunt. his moans come in sections, breaking more and more.
he lifts you up slowly before you decide to lay beside him, feeling beat. he extends an arm for you to lay on as a pillow and you smile, facing him as you use his arm comfortably.
“you were so good princess, did so well for me. as always,” cheol caresses your cheek softly.
“sorry baby, i shouldn’t have let mingyu hug me all over like that… i would’ve been upset if i were you too,” quietly, you place a kiss on his jawline. hoping he isn’t too affected by mingyu anymore.
“no baby, i’m not mad at you. just hate it when guys look at you that way…especially if it’s an ex-boyfriend.” he rubs his nose with yours.
“i know baby…let’s get out of here? i’ll find another day to bring minji out for a birthday dinner..”
giggling, cheol agrees — but not til you guys catch your breaths for a few minutes.
perm taglist 🖤: @gyuguys @black-swan-blog27 @do-you-remember-summer-127 @mrsjohnnysuh
a/n: hi luvs! sorry, i’ve been a lil caught up w life and etc so :(( missed being here n writing so here i am! managed to find some time to write a lil smth <3 hope u guys liked it, if u did — like, rb or comment ⭐️ love you, muahh 🍒
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missgenesis · 1 day ago
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It is!
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Honestly, tho I can't stay mad at people who make epic music that colors my life.
Nobody in this world owes us anything. Some people come into our lives to simply make their mark and cause a disruption. Fear not the shit disturbers. They can bring unexpected blessings.
The vacant spaces in between - the beats of silence, of pause - are just as important to the melody as the notes themselves.
In my life, I never would have learned what love truly was until I experienced what it felt like for love to be absent. I wanted and expected so much more than what I got on multiple occasions. This has been a recurring pattern in my life indicating a karmic cycle. I kept attracting this chaotic energy into my life over and over without even knowing it.
I kept finding myself in relationships that left me feeling disappointed, frustrated, and heartbroken. It took me a while to see it this way, but now I am truly grateful for those experiences, it was the struggle and the pain that ended up healing me on a deeper level.
It became clear to me that I had an ancestral wound already, a void space inside of me with regards to love, and these broken relationships, while painful, let me become aware of it and ultimately heal myself.
I believe that I subconsciously attracted them into my life for this very purpose.
Shadow work. Excavating the unconscious mind and the parts of our psyche that we prefer not to examine. It's nasty business. Uncomfortable, stressful, overwhelming, messy, painful as hell... it's like giving birth.
Worth it, I think.
In fact music was my single most important healing modality. It became my home and taught me everything I know about life.
~~~~ Music is my obsession because to me it feels like the essence of life and spirit. Infinite combinations and permutations that follow almost like a mathematical code to create a rhythm. A vibrational frequency that resonates with the soul. Patterns in music that are pleasing to the ears are a fractal of the laws and patterns in nature. Music theory n00b here but I found this kinda neat. ~~~
A step, or conjunct motion, is a linear interval between two consecutive notes of a scale.
An interval is the distance between any two pitches in a melody. Linear (melodic) intervals may be described as steps or skips.
A melody that moves in small, connected intervals is considered conjunct, while one that moves by leaps is called disjunct.
The general rule of spacing is to keep the distance between soprano and alto as well as the distance between alto to tenor within an octave of each other.
Any larger interval is called a skip (also called a leap).
Allowing a distance greater than an octave between soprano and alto (or between alto and tenor) is considered spacing error .
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Childhood can be scary.
A collection of some of my hand-drawn horror looping animations!
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ktownshizzle · 1 day ago
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Love & Lullabies | Part 3
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Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader
Summary: What begins as a simple favor for your best friend Namjoon soon pulls you into the rhythms of Yoongi’s life—afternoons spent caring for his son, late nights filled with candid conversations, and a connection neither of you thought you needed. You’re just fresh out of a long-term relationship with an ex who didn’t want a family with you, so did you really just stumble into a life you’ve always dreamed of? (Thank god Namjoon isn’t the only one who’s clumsy.)
Alternatively: It’s 2025 and BTS is prepping for their comeback. All members seem to have gained muscle weight from their time at camp. But Min Yoongi has gained a different kind of weight—an 8-pound baby and a fuck-load of responsibility. (Thank god you’re there to help him.)
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, idol!au, Acquaintances to Lovers, Reader is Namjoon’s bestie
Warnings: Yoongi is a DILF (!!!) That’s it.
Chapter warnings: GRAB YOUR TISSUES!, this bitch is a whole ass kdrama episode and it’s gonna hurt before it gets better, happy ending tho!, themes of self-loathing, anxiety, and depression (MC), severe postpartum depression (not MC), it’s monsoon season and namgi don’t like umbrellas, (____) in the rain cliche scene, NAMTIDDIES because I can’t help myself, lastly… watch me morph this into another workplace romance/co-workers to lovers story lmao (real)
Word count: ~7k
Posting date: November 21, 2024
Notes: This is inspired by an ask/prompt sent by @yoongznme. 
I am a clown 🤡 and a liar 🤥 From pretending this is a two-shot, then a three-shot. It has become a chaptered series, atp. There is a part 4 in the works and I fully intend to end it there, but again, I may have just jinxed myself. Anyway! Enjoy, my lovelies~ 💕
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |  Masterlist
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“She’s Haneul’s mom.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut.
“What?”
“Sung Kyung and Yoongi… they’ve been good friends for years,” Namjoon explains quickly, his tone almost apologetic. “I didn’t think they were dating. But yeah, she’s his mom. She left for months and when she came back, she'd already given birth.”
You feel like the ground has been ripped out from under you. What Namjoon said made no sense. You clutch the edge of the counter, your mind racing. “What do you mean she left…?” You have never been more confused in your entire life.
Namjoon sighs. “I don’t know all the details. You know hyung, he tells you what he thinks you need to know. The rest, he keeps to himself. But I do know they did the paternity tests and everything, and Haneul’s his, theirs.”
Theirs. It’s easier if Namjoon just slices your heart open at this rate. 
He places a tentative hand on your shoulder. “It’s better to hear it straight from Yoongi-hyung, since you guys are, you know.”
“I– I don’t know. I don’t know what we are,” you say, leaning your weight sideways against the wall to steady yourself. 
Get a grip. It’s Haneul’s day. 
Namjoon stands to shield you from the rest, in case anybody chances to look your way. You probably look like you’re about to puke. You definitely feel like it.
“Joonie…” Your voice is small when you ask, “Do you think she wants to come back now?”
Namjoon lifts his shoulder, lets it sag, “I don’t know. Maybe. She wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
Your chest tightens, a wave of insecurity crashing over you. Of course, she would want to come back now. She’s beautiful, successful, everything you’re not. And most importantly, she’s Haneul’s mother. That’s the kicker. How can you compete with that?
Spoiler alert: you can’t.
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When you step back into the living room, the first thing you notice is Yoongi’s mom. She’s standing off to the side, her lips pressed into a thin line as she glares at Sung Kyung from across the room with a mixture of disapproval and barely-contained irritation.
“She shouldn’t be here,” she says quietly, her voice cold and clipped.
“Eomma,” Yoongi grits.
“She abandoned Haneul, Yoongi,” his mom hisses, her tone sharper now. “And she thinks she can just come here like nothing happened?”
Yoongi sighs, his hand briefly brushing his mother’s arm in a silent plea for calm. “Not here, eomma. Please. It’s Haneul’s birthday. Don’t make a scene.”
Of course he is siding with her.
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You’re unable to tear your eyes away from Sung Kyung. How can she look so beautiful even if she looks miserable? She exchanges a few more quiet words with Yoongi near the door, her expression alternating between frustration and what looks like regret. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but you catch the way Yoongi’s shoulders stiffen, the way his jaw tightens as she reaches out to brush his arm. You see Yoongi nod, and you’re so curious, what is he agreeing to?
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she leaves. The door is closed, but for sure this chapter isn’t. Not even close.
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You entertain yourself by watching some of the BTS members play some video games. Their antics, as funny as they are, don’t really register. Your laughs are hollow, mind totally elsewhere. It’s a while before Yoongi finally finds you, after he disappeared to his studio after Sung Kyung left and went MIA for half an hour or so.
He corners you near the snack table as you pretend to be engrossed in arranging leftover cupcakes.
“Hey,” he says softly, touching your arm lightly.
You turn to face him, your smile brittle. “Hey. How’s everything going?”
“Can we talk?”
You nod, following him toward the hallway, away from the laughter and chatter. The noise completely fades as you enter his soundproof studio and he turns to face you.
He exhales deeply, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted to talk to you,” he says carefully, like he’s choosing every word with precision.
“About Sung Kyung.” you offer. He nods, shoulders visibly tense. “Yeah. And Haneul.”
The mention of Haneul makes your chest tighten, but you steady yourself, waiting for him to continue.
“She and I… we were close for a long time,” he begins, his gaze dropping to the floor. “And yeah, there was a point where I thought it was going somewhere. But then she just… disappeared.”
“Disappeared?”
“She left Korea. No warning, no explanation. Just… ghosted.” He shrugs. “I didn’t know where she went or why. She didn’t contact me for months.”
“And then one day,” he continues, “she called. Told me she just gave birth to a son. That it was mine.”
The words hang between you, heavy and jarring. You don’t say anything, letting him get it all out.
“She didn’t tell me she was pregnant,” he says, shaking his head as if he still can’t believe it. “I literally only found out after he was born.”
You feel a pang of sympathy, but then you’re also feeling angry at Sung Kyung. “Why did she wait so long to tell you?”
“She said she didn’t want to burden me. I was already doing my military service and I had that thing… that case. She thought she could handle it on her own.” He looks up at you then, his eyes dark and conflicted. “But after she had him… she couldn’t. She fell into really severe postpartum depression and some other health issues, basically telling me she was diagnosed unfit to take care of him.”
Your throat tightens, and you clasp your hands together to keep them from shaking. “So you stepped in.”
He nods, “I didn’t have a choice. Haneul needed someone, and I couldn’t—I wouldn’t turn my back on him. He’s my son. It was confirmed by a paternity test.”
“And now she’s back,” you say, more a statement than a question.
“Yeah,” he says quietly, dragging a hand down his face. “She says she’s better. That she wants to be in his life now. That she can be. And honestly… I don’t know what to do.”
You study him for a moment, your emotions warring between compassion and your own sense of inadequacy. “What do you want, Yoongi? Not for her, not for Haneul. What do you want?”
“I don’t know,” he admits, gnawing his lip before he says, “I just… I want to do what’s right for Haneul.”
The words cut deeper than you expected, but you force a small smile, nodding as if they don’t sting. “That makes sense.”
Yoongi takes a step closer as he studies your face. “But what about you?” he asks, his voice almost too gentle. “How are you feeling about all this?”
The sincerity in his question takes you off guard, and for a moment, you’re tempted to tell him everything. The ache in your chest, the jealousy you hate admitting to, the fear of losing whatever connection the two of you have built. But instead, you plaster on a smile, shoving all those emotions into a corner of your mind.
“I’m fine,” you say lightly. “It’s Haneul’s birthday. That’s what matters.”
Yoongi doesn’t look convinced, his gaze lingering on you as if he’s trying to read the truth in your expression. But after a moment, he nods, letting it drop. “Okay.”
Finally, you glance at the door, forcing yourself to straighten up. “We should probably get back to the party.”
“Yeah,” Yoongi says, stepping aside to let you pass. But as you reach for the door, his voice stops you.
“Thank you,” he says quietly.
You turn back, your brows furrowing. “For what?”
“For everything,” he says, his eyes filled with something you can’t quite name.
You don’t know how to respond, so you just nod. Because his words—why did it feel like a goodbye?
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The rest of the party passes in a blur. You keep smiling, keep laughing, keep pretending everything is fine. You stand by as Yoongi helps Haneul blow out his single candle, snapping pictures of his chubby hands smashing into the frosting. 
You’re wiping stray frosting from Haneul’s cheek when you glance at him and for a split second, you see her. Sung Kyung’s face is right there, faint but unmistakable, in the shape of his eyes and the curve of his brows.
The realization hits you like a freight train. You freeze, the cloth clutched in your hand, staring at this beautiful baby boy who isn’t yours. Who will never be yours.
It’s too much. You set the muslin down, excusing yourself to the kitchen with a muttered, “I’ll grab more drinks.”
You don’t even make it to the fridge. You stand there by the counter, gripping its edge as you force yourself to breathe, to keep the tears at bay. You’ve never felt more out of place in your life.
Namjoon finds you a few moments later, leaning against the doorway with a quiet, watchful look. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t ask if you’re okay. He just stays there, close but not too close, his presence steady and silent. You appreciate him for that—for knowing exactly what you need when you’re unraveling. He’s your best friend after all.
But even his quiet support isn’t enough to keep the emotions at bay.
Across the room, Yoongi’s eomma catches your eye. There’s something pitying in the glances she throws your way, a faint furrow of her brow that makes you want to sink into the floor. You had the feeling she knows there’s something between you and Yoongi, but now… now it feels like she’s seeing through you, like she knows exactly how small you’re starting to feel.
Because the truth is, you’re nothing.
You’re not Haneul’s mom. You’re not Yoongi’s girlfriend. You’re just someone who helps out when it’s convenient, and now that they have a nanny, you’re not even that. And it hurts. God, it hurts because you thought—maybe foolishly, maybe selfishly—that you were becoming something more. That you were becoming someone to them. That, maybe, you were becoming a family.
But now, as you stand there watching Yoongi carry Haneul to his room, barely sparing you a glance, the truth sinks in like a stone in your chest. You’re not someone. You’re a placeholder. A stand-in.
And pretty soon, just like Jiyong, they’re going to discard you. Because that’s what always happens. You’re always easy to leave behind. Always replaceable. Always useless.
The thought claws at you, and you suddenly can’t breathe. You grab your things and run. The cool night air stings your skin, but it’s nothing compared to the ache in your chest.
The tears come before you can stop them, hot and angry and full of every ounce of self-loathing you’ve tried to bury.
You glance back at the building. Maybe for the last time. You’re on the outside now—of course you are. You’ve been on the outside this entire time.
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Namjoon must have noticed you were gone because he texted shortly after:
Joonie: You okay? Joonie: Don’t worry, I told them you weren’t feeling well. Go home and rest. Text me when you’re there.
That night, you ignored Yoongi’s call. You stared at the screen as his name lit up, your finger hovering over the answer button before you let it ring out. He left a voicemail. You deleted it without listening.
The next morning, you wake up to another call from him. This time, he doesn’t leave a voicemail. Instead, he sends a message.
Yoongi: Can I come over?
You stare at the text for a long time, your stomach twisting with guilt and anger and sadness. Finally, you type out a single word:
You: No
You throw your phone face-down on the couch, ignoring the way it buzzes again and again and again.
For the next few days, you ghost him.
It wasn’t easy. Every time your phone buzzes, you feel a pang of guilt, a deep ache that gnaws at your resolve. But you can’t bring yourself to answer. You need time. You need to figure out where you stood in all of this.
His messages come sporadically at first:
Yoongi: Hey, can we talk? Yoongi: I don’t know what I did wrong, but I want to fix it. Yoongi: Please. Just let me know you’re okay.
You delete most of them without reading too much into them. But then he starts sending pictures.
The first was of Haneul, grinning in his chair, wearing the capybara slippers you’d gifted him for his birthday.
Yoongi: Haneul misses you
The next day, another photo. This time, Haneul was lying on his playmat, still wearing the slippers, holding onto Bora.
Yoongi: Still missing you
Each message chips away at your resolve, but the one that breaks you comes Thursday evening:
A short video clip. In it, Haneul is sitting on the floor, babbling as he clutches Bora. And then, clear as day, he says it:
“Sa-ra.”
Your heart twists painfully. It’s clipped, but it’s unmistakably sarang. Your term of endearment for him, the nickname you’d called him since he started smiling every time he heard it. He’d never been able to say it back—not until now.
And Yoongi knows exactly what he is doing, sending this to you.
You stare at the screen for what feels like an eternity, leaving the video on loop, before finally opening your call log. His name was right at the top, of course. You hit the call button, your hands trembling as you bring the phone to your ear.
“Hello?” Yoongi’s voice comes through almost immediately.
You exhale shakily. “Hi.”
There was a pause. Then he speaks again, and you can hear his vulnerability. “I didn’t think you’d call back.”
You close your eyes, trying to steady yourself. “How could I ignore that video? Haneul… he said sarang.”
“Yeah, he’s been saying it non-stop since yesterday.”
You swallowed hard, gripping the phone tighter. “Yoongi… about… us.”
“Mmh?” He didn’t interrupt, didn’t rush you. He just waited.
“I’ve been thinking,” you began. “Haneul deserves to have a complete family. He deserves to know his mom, to have her in his life. If—if that’s what you both want.”
Yoongi was quiet for a long moment before he finally responded. “But… he needs you, too.”
Before you can back out, “Yoongi, I need space,” you say finally, your voice trembling.
There was a pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Okay.”
It wasn’t a protest. It wasn’t an argument. Just… okay. It’s the most ‘Yoongi’ reaction to things, and you hate it. You hate it so much.
You hang up, staring at the screen until it goes dark. Your chest felt heavy, your heart splintering in ways you didn’t know it could.
You’d told him you needed space and he said okay. The truth is, when you said space, you just wanted him to make room for you. To assure you that you belong with them. That there is a seat, warm and yours. But he didn’t.
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You miss Yoongi so much it feels like a physical ache. But it’s not just him. You miss Haneul’s face, his giggles, his sleepy weight in your arms. 
Namjoon has been doing his best to check in. He sends you UberEats nearly every other day, a steady stream of meals you barely touch. The one time he came over, unannounced, he walked into what could only be described as a disaster.
“Jesus Christ,” Namjoon muttered, kicking a stray box out of his way as he entered your apartment. The laundry basket was overflowing, your trash can piled up. You were in a 2-day old shirt, hair a rat’s nest, and you’re slouched on the couch with an empty brain.
Namjoon stared at you, his disappointment radiating off him. “Y/N, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”
“I’m fine,” you lied, barely looking at him.
He scoffed. “Fine? You look like you’ve been run over by a truck. Twice.”
“So dramatic.” You rolled your eyes, but the truth of his words stung.
Namjoon crouched in front of you, placing his hands on your knees. “Move in with me for now. You know I have the space. You can’t stay here like this. It’s not healthy.”
“I’m not moving in with you, Joon,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m not your charity case.”
He sighed, rubbing his temples. “You’re not a charity case. You’re my best friend. And I’m not gonna sit back and watch you drown in your own misery.”
“I’m not gonna live in your and Soyeon’s sex den,” you snapped unnecessarily.
Namjoon just looked at you, shook his head, before he flopped beside you on the couch. He fed you, forced you to go take a shower, and watched some shitty reality show with you. He eventually left, though you could feel the weight of his disappointment long after the door shut behind him. If he only knew how thankful you were of those visits.
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A week later, you find yourself standing in front of Yoongi’s apartment. You didn’t plan this. You don’t even know what you’re hoping to achieve by being here. All you know is that the ache of missing them—missing him—has become unbearable.
You knock on the door before you can second-guess yourself.
Mrs. Kwon opens it, her expression immediately uneasy. “Y/N,” she says, her tone cautious. “You should come back another time.”
“Why?” you ask, your voice sharper than you intended.
She hesitates, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s just… not a good time.”
“I need to see them,” you insist, stepping forward.
“My dear girl, please listen—”
But you’re already past her, your determination overriding her warnings.
When you step into the living room–
Fuck.
There she is. Sung Kyung, sitting on the floor with Haneul in her lap, holding a plush toy you don’t recognize. She’s smiling at him, her voice soft as she tries to coax him into playing with it. Adding salt to the wound–Bora, the capybara plush you gave Haneul, is discarded carelessly in the corner near the diaper pail.
Your heart stops, and before you can control yourself, you take a step back, your movement catching Sung Kyung’s attention. She looks up, confused. She doesn’t know you, why would she? 
Yoongi’s voice comes from behind you, and you turn to see him emerging from his studio, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Who rang the—”
His eyes widen when he sees you, but you’re already moving, your feet carrying you toward the door in a blind rush.
“Wait—Y/N!”
You barely hear him as you bend down and snatch Bora from the floor. Haneul’s voice suddenly cuts through the air, his tiny, excited voice calling out, “Sa-ra! Sa-ra!”
Tears blur your vision as you wrench the door open and run, Yoongi’s voice calling after you, but you don’t stop.
It’s raining when you step outside. Great, because this day couldn’t get any worse. The cold droplets soak through your clothes almost instantly. You don’t have an umbrella, but you don’t give a shit. Tears stream down your face mixing with the rain.
You don’t know how far you get before you feel it—a warmth against your back, arms wrapping around you tightly.
Yoongi’s voice cracks as he says your name, his rain-soaked body like a furnace against your shivering frame. “Please.”
He sounds like he is begging, but why? What is he asking? What does he want from you?
You shake your head, your voice breaking. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come.”
“Then why did you?” he asks, his tone desperate, his chest heaving as he pulls you tighter.
“Because I thought… I thought I had a place here. But I’m such a fucking idiot.”
“Don’t say that,” he pleads, his voice barely audible over the rain as he turns you to face him. His hands come up to cradle your face. He was starting to shake too, the pads of his fingers damp against your skin. His eyes search yours, desperate, and before you can stop him—or yourself—he closes the space between you and kisses you.
Against the pouring rain, your lips press against each other, clumsy, shaky, unexpectedly urgent. His lips move like he’s trying to say all the things he can’t find the words for, like this is his only way to make you understand. And for a second, maybe a minute, maybe more, you let him.
You feel his ragged breaths as he licks into your mouth, his hair brushing your temple, droplets trailing down your skin. His hand slides from your cheek to the nape of your neck, fingers threading gently through your wet hair. It’s tender and fierce all at once, like he’s afraid you might vanish if he lets go.
But there is a tinge of bitterness cutting through the taste of his kiss. This isn’t enough—not to fix everything, not to erase the doubt clawing at the edges of your mind. Not to prevent the new thoughts from worming its way inside.
Sung Kyung is in his apartment right now. So maybe it’s not just about Haneul anymore. Maybe they’re reconciling. Trying to sort out their own feelings that they put on ice. Yoongi did say he thought their relationship was going somewhere. 
God, you do not want to be some homewrecker. You cannot do that to Haneul. Weakly you try to pull back. 
But Yoongi doesn’t let you. His lips chase yours, teeth gently sinking into your plush and you’re unable to stifle the moan from your mouth at the delicious sting. You open up to him, lips sliding against his as his other hand grips your waist now, pulling you closer until you can really feel the heat of his body through the drenched fabric of his clothes. The world feels like it’s spinning, everything is blending into a dizzying blur, and you don’t know how to stop it.
Your hand hovers at his chest, not pushing him away but not pulling him closer either. Your heart is screaming to hold on just a little longer. But your head is telling you—
“No,” you whisper, breaking away as quickly as you can without slipping on the slick ground. Your chest heaves as you clutch Bora tighter against you.
Yoongi stands frozen, his lips parted as if he’s about to speak, his dark eyes locked on yours. The rain clings to his lashes, his hair plastered to his forehead, and for a moment, he looks completely lost.
“I can’t do this, Yoongi,” you choke out, your voice shaking. “I just… I can’t.”
And before he can stop you, you turn and run again, your feet splashing through puddles as you make your way to the nearest bus stop. By some miracle, you make your way home in one piece. Barring one vital organ that’s discarded somewhere in Hannam.
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My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I Got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could, it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad - Stan, Eminem
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Your apartment is cold and quiet, the soft patter of rain against the windows the only sound. The mug of tea on your table has long since gone cold, untouched, as you sit curled up on the couch, staring at that grainy selca Yoongi sent you weeks ago. 
You’re startled out of your thoughts by the sound of the door opening. Namjoon steps in, shaking off the rain and holding a grocery bag in one hand, his hoodie slung over his shoulder. He’s soaked to the bone, but he flashes you his dimples anyway.
“You know,” he starts, setting the bag on the counter, “for someone who always claims they’re fine, you sure as hell don’t look it.”
“Don’t start, Joon,” you mumble, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself.
Namjoon ignores you, glancing around the apartment with a disapproving look. “Seriously? It still looks like you just moved in. No decorations, no warmth. This part could be a photo wall or something…”
You roll your eyes. “Alright, Mr. Art influencer.”
“I need a dry shirt,” he says, gripping the edge of his tee and pulling it up and over his head without fanfare.
You’ve never felt attracted to your best friend in any physical or sexual way ever (seriously, ew), but you can appreciate a good physique when you see one.
“Wow, Joonie, are your tiddies getting bigger?” you say as you stand to find a shirt for him from your makeshift closet.
“You’re an idiot.”
Before you can respond, the doorbell rings. Namjoon straightens, wiping his hands on his pants. “You expecting someone?”
You shake your head.
Namjoon strides to the door, glancing through the peephole with a tsk before pulling it open. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s shirtless, which would be awkward enough if it were anyone else standing there. 
But it’s Yoongi.
Yoongi stands in the hallway, his expression strained, his eyes immediately scanning the room behind Namjoon until they land on you, curled on the couch. You clutch the t-shirt you were about to lend Namjoon tighter against your chest, unsure whether to feel relief, anger, or the painful longing that’s been gnawing at you for days.
“I need to talk to her,” Yoongi says, his voice calm but heavy with emotion.
Namjoon steps into the doorway, crossing his arms as he blocks the entrance. “Maybe not today, hyung.”
Yoongi’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t flinch. “I have to. I need to explain.”
Namjoon doesn’t budge, his voice soft but firm. “Sorry, hyung. Not after everything.”
Yoongi’s eyes flick to you again, desperate. “I just… fuck,” He swallows hard, his voice breaking slightly. “I can’t let her think she doesn’t matter to me. She does. More than anyone.”
Namjoon hesitates for the first time, glancing back at you. His expression softens briefly, but when he turns to Yoongi again, it’s your voice that responds.
“Yoongi.” Your voice is quiet, but it cuts through the tension like a blade. Both men turn to you, and the hope that flashes across Yoongi’s face makes your lungs shrivel.
You grip the fabric in your hands tighter, willing yourself to stay firm. “You should go.”
Yoongi’s lips part as if to argue, but the look in your eyes silences him. He nods once, slowly, his expression crumbling for just a moment before he turns away.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice so soft you almost don’t hear it.
Namjoon watches him for a moment longer before stepping back into the apartment and shutting the door.
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The first step is always the hardest.
Namjoon didn’t sugarcoat anything when he told you to get your shit together. “I love you,” he said bluntly after Yoongi left that rainy night, “but you’re the only one who can pull yourself out of this. No one else is coming to save you. Not me. Not Jiyong. Not Yoongi. Just you.”
You hated hearing it, but he was right.
So you took the first step: you called a therapist. Twice a week, you sat in that tiny, clinical room and talked about everything you’d buried for years. The abandonment issues you’d carried since childhood. The shame you felt after your relationship with Jiyong fell apart. The way you constantly give pieces of yourself to others, just like you did with Haneul and Yoongi, leaving nothing for yourself. Thinking that’s okay.
Session by session, the fog began to lift. Slowly, you started to understand that happiness couldn’t come from someone else, no matter how deeply you loved them. It had to come from you—built piece by piece, nurtured, protected.
You realized that loving yourself wasn’t selfish. It was necessary. And for the first time in months, you began to believe you were worthy of it.
At home, you started small. One night, you finally tackled the pile of laundry that had been haunting you for weeks. Another night, you scrubbed down the kitchen until the counters gleamed. And then one weekend, you went to IKEA and bought a bed frame—not just a functional one, but a beautiful one that made you feel excited to wake up in the mornings.
You even hung up paintings on the walls, little pops of color that made the apartment feel like it was actually yours. Namjoon gave you some from his collection, too.
Running sucks, but it became your nightly ritual. At first, it was hard. Your legs ached, and your lungs burned. But the more you pushed yourself, the better it felt—the rush of endorphins, the rhythm of your feet hitting the pavement, the way your thoughts quieted for just a little while.
Bit by bit, you started to feel lighter. Like you were shedding layers of weight you didn’t even realize you were carrying.
And then there was Yoongi.
He was still a constant name on your phone, though the tone of his messages had shifted over time. At first, his texts were full of apologies and pleas for a second chance:
Yoongi: I know I messed up. Please let me make it right.
Yoongi: I’m sorry for everything. I hate that I hurt you.
Yoongi: I need you, Y/N. I should have told you sooner.
Yoongi: Can I come over? I really want to explain everything.
Yoongi: I’m an idiot.
Yoongi: I’ll wait for you. Just tell me when you’re ready to talk.
Then came the texts about Haneul:
Yoongi: Haneul misses you. Not to one-up my own kid, but I miss you more.
Yoongi: Han said your name today. He kept pointing at the door like he was waiting for you to walk in.
Yoongi: I bought him a new Bora. This giraffe is lame. [image attached]
Yoongi: Han’s been carrying Bora 2.0 everywhere. He even tried to feed it rice last night.
And now, weeks later, his messages had settled into something different.
Yoongi: I was in the studio all day, and Hobi made me take a break. We ended up eating too much fried chicken and now I have a zit.
Yoongi: How was your run today? Namjoonah says you’re joining a mini marathon. Good luck!
Yoongi: Still have boxes of Silver Moon tea. It’s too bougie for my ghetto taste buds. Lmk if you want it. Yoongi: Actually, no need. I'll send it thru Namjoonah.
Yoongi: I fucked up the choreography to our new track at Mubank today like an amateur. I hope you didn’t get to watch it.
They were simple, almost mundane. But Yoongi’s texts had a way of hitting you square in the chest. You think back to that conversation in his home, the one where he admitted how lonely he sometimes felt—how he wished for someone to talk to about the little things, the big milestones, everything in between. Someone to share life with. And now, with every message he sends, it feels like he’s choosing you.
Even though weeks have passed without seeing him, he’s still there. Reaching out. Trying to stay connected. Even when you never reply.
But his messages have become tiny bursts of dopamine in your otherwise quiet days. You’re both surprised and relieved he hasn’t stopped trying, that he hasn’t grown tired of pouring himself into the void of your Kakao.
Namjoon told you recently that Yoongi and Sung Kyung have started co-parenting Haneul. She gets supervised visits twice a month. At first, the green-eyed monster threatened to come out. But your best friend tells you that Yoongi never wanted to rekindle anything with Sung Kyung, which gave you some peace. Maybe if you’d been braver back then, you could’ve asked Yoongi yourself. Maybe if Yoongi had been better at communicating, he would have told you then it wouldn’t have felt like such an uphill climb.
But, he was also having such a difficult time, sorting through his own circumstances. And your insecurities at the time were too heavy, too overwhelming to sift through. You probably wouldn’t have believed him then. The progress you’ve made now—to love yourself first—feels hard-won and necessary. And maybe Yoongi also needed to go on a journey to really know what he wants for him and Haneul.
You’ve come to realize through all this that you don’t really hate Sung Kyung. Maybe you were angry on behalf of Yoongi and Haneul for all the secrets she kept, for the ways her choices hurt them both. There was even a night when you found yourself doing a Naver search on postpartum depression. You hadn’t understood how debilitating it could be, how it could turn even the strongest person into a shell of themselves. It didn’t excuse everything, but it gave you perspective, especially as you battle your own demons.
Still, as you journey forward, there are moments when you imagine the “what ifs” with Yoongi, if Sung Kyung hadn't showed up that day. Sometimes, late at night, your mind drifts back to him. You replay his kiss, remembering the way it felt, the way he tasted. You can still conjure the image of his face under the rain, the way he looked at you in that fleeting, heart-wrenching moment.
You wonder if he thinks about it, too. You know he’s waiting. You just hope that when you’re finally ready to let him back in, he’ll still be there—on the other side, willing to try again.
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One evening, Namjoon called, his tone unusually excited. “Hey, I’ve got something for you.”
“No, I don’t need more lube, I’m stocked,” you joked, just to be a piece of shit.
“Shut up and listen,” he said, laughing. “Hybe’s opening a daycare for employees’ kids. They need someone to run it. You’re perfect for this.”
Your stomach flipped. “What? Joonie, I don’t even—”
“Don’t even try to argue,” he interrupted. “You have a degree in early childhood education. You love kids. This was your literal job in the states. C’mon, this is made for you.”
“What if I’m not ready?”
Namjoon sighed. “You are. I’ve seen how much work you’ve been putting in. You’re stronger than you think. Just… apply. The worst they can do is say no.”
You’re quiet, so he added. “...and they won’t. I’ll have each member of Bangtan sign a recommendation letter for you.”
“You’re too much, Joonie,” you laugh. But you surely won’t put it past him to do that. “But ok, I’ll apply.”
So you did. And a week later, you got the call.
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Your first day at Hybe’s daycare center feels like a dream you didn’t know you had. The space is beautiful—sunlight streams through floor-to-ceiling windows, casting a warm glow over the colorful toys, tiny tables, and pastel murals. There are only three kids who pre-registered, but you were expecting more to walk in.
Namjoon is there, truly your ride or die, sitting casually on your desk with his ever-supportive grin. “You nervous?” 
“Nope,” you say, trying to sound confident. But the way your voice wavers gives you away.
Namjoon chuckles. “Relax. You’re going to crush this.”
Before you can respond, the door swings open, and in walks Hobi with Yunjin and their toddler, Jeongyeon. The little girl looks adorable in her sunflower-patterned overalls, her tiny pigtails bobbing as she walks toward the play area.
“Jeongyeon, say hi to teacher Y/N,” Yunjin says, gently guiding her forward.
“Hi!” Jeongyeon squeaks.
You crouch down to her level. “Hi, Jeongyeon! You’re gonna have so much fun today.”
“First kid of the day, ayeeee!" Hobi says, high-fiving Yunjin, before she runs to Jeongyeon who is mounting the toy pony. Then he turns to you, “Congratulations, Y/N.”
Just as they’re leaving, Namjoon nudges you. “By the way, did you know there’s a capybara mascot today?”
“What?” you blink, confused.
Before Namjoon can explain, something soft and warm suddenly envelops you in a hug. You turn to see a capybara mascot wrapping its plush arms around you, its giant head tilted adorably to the side.
“What the…” You laugh, surprised, grasping its arm. “Hybe really went all out, huh?”
Namjoon smirks. “Of course. First-day activations are a big deal here. And look at that, your favorite animal. What a coincidence.”
You grin, stepping back to look at the mascot. “Guess I’m a little biased, but this might be the cutest thing ever.”
The mascot gives you an exaggerated thumbs-up. 
Shortly, Haneul arrives. The moment you see him toddling through the door, all your nerves, all the weight you’d carried for weeks—gone. There’s no ache, no tension. Just pure, uncomplicated happiness.
His nanny, a kind older woman, walks him in, holding his hand as he peers curiously around the room.
Haneul bounds toward you giggling, his gummy smile stretching wide as he lets go of the nanny’s hand and waddles toward you.
“Hi, sarang,” you say, crouching down to scoop him into your arms. He smells like baby lotion and sunshine, and your chest feels full as he buries his face in your shoulder. “I missed you.”
You glance toward the door, your eyes darting around instinctively, but there’s no sign of Yoongi. A small pang of disappointment settles in your stomach before you shake it off. He’s probably holed up in his studio, working on something brilliant. It would have been nice to see him though.
The capybara mascot wanders over, drawing Haneul’s attention instantly. His eyes light up as he points at it, giggling.
“Appa!” Haneul says excitedly, punching the knee of the mascot with his tiny fists.
You laugh, brushing a hand through his soft hair. “That’s not your appa, Haneul. He’s probably in one of the big studios upstairs working very hard right now.”
The mascot gives you a pat on the head, and something about its movements feels oddly familiar. But you don’t dwell on it, too caught up in Haneul’s delighted squeals as the mascot does a little dance for him. It sure loves to shake its ass.
For the rest of the morning, you’re in your element, guiding the kids through activities, wiping tears, and singing songs during circle time. Every so often, Haneul points at the mascot and calls out “Appa!” again, and you can’t help but laugh.
And if the capybara mascot seems to hover a little longer around Haneul, or if it lingers near you whenever there’s a chance, well… you just chalk it up to coincidence.
(One day, much later, you’ll find out the truth. But for now, you’re content not knowing.)
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That night, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you pull it out to find another message from Yoongi.
Yoongi: Congratulations on your first day!
You stare at the screen, your thumb hovering over the keyboard. For the first time in weeks, as you look at your thread of messages from him, you let yourself smile—a small, cautious smile, but a smile nonetheless. And for the first time in months of radio silence, you type up your first reply to him.
You: Thanks, Yoongi. I’m really happy. :)
His reply came almost immediately.
Yoongi: You deserve it
And it may have taken a while, but you finally believe that. So you decide you are also finally ready to do this.
You: Can we talk? Yoongi: giv me 10 mins im cming overr
:)
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A/N: 
Alright!! Wheeeew! You good? How are you feeling?!?!? As usual, please sound off in the comments. 💕
I just want to say that am so proud of this chapter. I think I wrote my best, angst work here. Plus - Kissing in the rain? Namtiddies? A taste of smau? Hee hee. 🤗 
If you make it to here, thank you so so much for reading this story, you lovely, beautiful, human! xo
Part 4 is coming uppp and it’s gonna be a doozy~ 🤭
P.S. As some of y’all know I am a mom and I have experienced post-partum depression before. It was nowhere near the severity of how it is depicted here (a condition that is grave and rare because the character also has other mental struggles), but I empathize. I cannot imagine being truly unfit to care for my own baby. So I request that we do not vilify L&L! LSK. She fucked up real baddd, she could’ve involved Yoongi earlier, etc etc but again she is trying to do better. Plusss, it needs to be said, she does not want Yoongi. Gasp. Y’all can rest easy. He’s yours! 💕
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& If you want to read more of my work, please check out my masterlist. & If you enjoy my work and want to buy me a ko-fi, I'd appreciate it.
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Taglist:
@yoongznme @nnybtitts08 @rinkud @nbjch05 @perfectiondazesworld
@marnz1990 @mxrauds @queenbloody @jadestonedaeho7 @futuristicenemychaos
@direnediane @glossdebut @maryhopemei @theresstardustinmyblood @mggv97
@wobblewobble822 @kam9404 @supernoonanyc @damn-u-min-yoongi @ot72025
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gracieheartspedro · 3 days ago
Text
Nobody Likes A Secret
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pairing: no outbreak rich older!joel miller x afab reader.
how to help the palestinians and what it means to write for the last of us characters
word count: 3k words
description: a rich wealthy playboy who becomes enthralled by his neighbor's daughter. it never ends well when he can not fathom having happiness for himself.
warnings: ANGSTY!!!!!, age gap (joel is in his 50s, reader is in her mid 20s), wealthy!joel, neighbor!joel, reader is pretty naive and delusional, taboo relationship troupe, mentions of parent death, VERY BRIEF SMUT, joel is borderline evil and very mean. joel calls reader "kid". joel is also a liar. talks of having children.
author’s note: I wrote this all in like... two nights. I listened to illicit affair by taylor swift and nobody likes a secret by lizzy mcalpine a lil much and it ended up here. sorry if I make you sad.
You creep into the large 4-car garage, seeing Joel pacing the oil-stained floor. He’s still in his work clothes, but he looks a bit disheveled. His eyes are wild, his face downturned into a deep-set frown. 
“Joel? Everything okay?”
He shakes his head. “He knows.”
You know only one person who would ruin this. 
‘This’ being an 9-month-long affair with your older neighbor. Months and months of meeting in dark corners, hardly ever seeing each other in the light. 
“How?”
Joel fumbles trying to pull his phone out of his pocket, showing you the 5 missed calls from your Dad. You stare at it blankly, tightening your jaw at the possibility that your Dad is too smart for his own good. Shit, he does know, doesn’t he? He throws the phone down on a nearby leather couch that is positioned near a workbench. Joel was pretty good with his hands, but lately his mind has been anywhere but tinkering with wood in his garage. 
“He came over an hour ago. Sat me down and told me that he was getting suspicious of some outings you’ve had over the last couple months. Said he realized you were not going to the places you said you were going to. So he assumed you had a new boyfriend or something. Then last night…”
You curl your hands into a fist. “Fuck.”
“Yeah. Fuck,” Joel grumbles, running his hands over his face, dragging his lower lids down in frustration, “He said that if I know anything or see anything, I am to let him know immediately. He’s worried you’re fuckin’ around with the wrong guy.”
You had snuck out of your house last night and tiptoed your way into Joel’s car, which was parked in a nearby cul de sac. He promised you a nice late dinner in the city and then he ravished you in a hotel room you two didn’t even spend the night in. He brought you home around 4 am and you snuck back into your bedroom, ensuring nothing in your home was stirred. When you woke up the next morning, your father left you a note that he wanted to do dinner with you that night. Meaning tonight. 
You know this is detrimental, and while you do not want to freak out immediately, you can not help but feel like someone is stabbing you directly in the chest. Joel’s body language is giving off negative signals, so even though you want to hug him and tell him that you can talk to your Dad, you know it’s not going to change much.
Your eyes well with tears, thinking of how this was going to ruin everything. After months and months, you thought you were being so smart.
“We can’t do this anymore,” He whispers.
And God damn, did Joel hate seeing you cry. 
But the tear-filled eyes you are giving him are warranted. You don’t turn away from him like usual. You never wanted to show him any weakness. 
This time you confront him, your nose turning upward and your eyes full of disdain. 
“You said we were being careful,” You murmur, the salty tears falling down your cheeks.
“Not careful enough.”
The bitterness tastes like blood in your mouth. You want to scream at him but keep an even tone instead, “Joel… Just let me talk to him.”
“You knew where this was gonna end up,” He states plainly, his voice not wavering. 
And maybe he was right, but you enjoyed living in a loved-up delusion. Maybe it was the sex or maybe it was the looks he gave you from across densely populated parties you were forced to go to. You would put on a show long enough to make your father happy and then you would somehow sneak away with Joel. You knew if your father caught you with the much older man, he would lose his mind, so you were always cautious. You made sure the doors were locked. The moans would stay hushed. The car was parked far from your front door. And during the time spent away from the house, you would get a girlfriend to lie for you. You were always so careful. 
“Maybe he suspects it’s someone else.” you try to reassure him, but you know it’s falling on deaf ears.
“You know he knows it’s me.”
“We don’t know that for sure.”
Joel rolls his eyes. He knows that your father’s words were simply a warning. If you two continued this schtick, you know better than anyone your father would find out. You knew he already kind of had eyes on you and Joel had caught on to a couple of neighbors watching him from their bedroom windows. He gives your father credit, he was thorough. 
“We have to stop.”
You did not realize how much your heart was banking on making this work. Joel was about 25 years older, so deep down, you knew that no one would accept the relationship. But in your wildest fantasies, you imagined you two would run away together. He had tons of money, you had nothing tying you down, and it could be a perfect escape. You had brought it up one night after you snuck over to his bed and he didn’t explicitly say no. He just giggled and continued tracing circles on your bare back. 
You bite the inside of your cheek, “So you just… don’t want me anymore?”
He huffs, already annoyed you were making it seem like he had a choice.
“It was never gonna work out in the first place, kid.”
You just stare at him. The nickname hit harder than it ever has. After months of sneaking around with you, Joel only ever saw you as that. A kid. 
“Don’t call me that. Ever.”
He notices the rise in your voice and quickly realizes he made a mistake. 
“Listen-”
It’s like every terrible emotion you have ever had comes bubbling to the surface. The resentment you held towards him when he ignored your calls some nights. Or when he refused to get near you at any party. You had your grievances, but you sat there like a good girl and just accepted him the way he was.
It’s like acid in your throat, it burns. 
“No, you listen,” You snap, “You don’t get to play the kid card. You chose this just as much as I did. You told me that my age didn’t matter. You told me that you would want children with me one day. You filled my head with all this bullshit and now when shit gets real, you walk away. You’re a fuckin’ coward, Joel.”
“My reputation and livelihood is on the line for this! You think I don’t still want those things?”
“If you wanted them bad enough, you would fight for me.”
It makes his face drop. His furrowed eyebrows relax and his mouth droops down into a subtle frown. 
You do not know where to go from here. The atmosphere in his garage rises with tension, words just hanging in the air. 
The Annual Miller Christmas Party was the talk of the town. Everyone who received an invitation would proudly display the cardstock on their huge fridges and show their uninvited neighbors to brag. When Joel came over to hand deliver you and your father’s invitations, he told you to wear something sparkly. 
You searched everywhere for the perfect gown for weeks. He had only really shown you attention when forced to be in the same room as you, so you needed to be eye-catching. He was never the guy to wave to you when he was leaving for work or say a quiet hello at the grocery store. Joel was a very regimented man. He never strayed away from his routine which was usually work, hookups with random women, and sleep. He never kept a woman around for too long. You noticed the circulation of women changed every month or so. Joel never wanted to settle down. He had tried that once 15 years ago and his ex ended up with half of his company. 
But you always loved the way the man carried him. Despite his playboy behavior, you were entranced with him. You always thought he was handsome and when you came home at 25 to help your mother who had fallen sick, you knew that your crush had morphed into borderline obsession. Living next to him would be dangerous.
The dress you chose was red, which was fitting for the occasion. And of course, it was sparkly. Just what Joel ordered. 
You spent all day preparing for the evening and when you showed up on his front door on your Father’s arm, he could not peel his eyes away. You were so radiant and perfect. The twinkle in your eyes shone brighter than the glitter on your gown. 
During the night, you drank a couple of glasses of champagne and chatted up some of your Father’s colleagues. You notice Joel’s eyes following you every so often. You can vividly remember thinking, “This man wants me so bad.”
That night Joel cornered you in the hallway by the bathroom. He asked you if you were interested in literature, but really he just wanted you alone in his study. You being you, you enthusiastically said yes and followed him down the unlit corridor. Once he shut the huge wooden double doors, you knew that you would be slipping out of that gown for him in no time. 
And that’s exactly what happened. 
He drove you crazy, peppering kisses all down your body. He would groan every time he heard your shaky breath, knowing that the effect he had on you would become a dependence for him. 
When he first pressed into you, it was different than any other woman he’s ever been with. You did not throw your head back, moaning obscenities. Instead, you stared into his eyes and nodded, encouraging him to continue his movements. It was so sensual and passionate, by the time you two finished, he held you in his arms for 20 minutes. He was never one for pillow talk or aftercare, so he surprised himself.
You were different than any other woman he had ever encountered. 
You had slipped over to his front door a couple of days after the Christmas party, knocking to ask his assistant if he was home. When she brought you into his office, he told his assistant to shut the door on the way out. His eyes never left yours as you bantered to him. He loved your confidence. He bent you over his desk after 10 minutes, tugging up your skirt and swatting your ass for showing up on his doorstep looking “this beautiful”. 
Joel always made you feel so good. His dirty talk went to Harvard. He could make you cum over and over with his husky Southern accent. Every time he called you “darlin’” or “princess”, you would come undone. 
A couple of months into the entanglement, your Mother’s health deteriorated overnight. You and your Father stayed by her side when she took her last breaths. It was devastating, seeing the woman you looked up to your entire life slowly slip away. You felt like a shell of a person, unable to really harbor any feeling other than pain.
Joel called you and let you know he would not be able to attend the funeral due to work commitments. You did not care, understanding that there’s never a good time for someone to die and he had no obligation to come. You arrived at the funeral home and saw a huge arrangement of purple and blue flowers. On the card, was scribbled in his handwriting. 
“What a breath of fresh air she was. Thinking of her family, always. Joel Miller.”
When it was time for the burial, you watched a large SUV pull up right before the final words were going to be spoken. Joel hopped out the back and slowly approached, keeping his distance from you and the rest of the attendees. Once she was lowered into the ground, Joel came over to give his condolences to your inconsolable father. 
You stayed back, watching everyone except him leave. You sat in the first row of fold-out chairs, watching them throw dirt over her casket. He sat down next to you, never saying anything. His hand extended out, touching your hand that was resting on your lap. It was an unspoken thing, but you never felt more seen in your entire life. He somehow knew exactly what you needed. 
Someone next to you.
After a couple of months, you felt more like yourself. You called him one night, asking if he was available for a drive. He parked his truck in your usual meet-up spot. You crawled up into the passenger seat and asked him to drive. You did not care where. You two caught up and once he could tell you were getting back to some semblance of yourself, he made his move. He was stopped at a red light when he placed his hand on your thigh. It was the first time you had sex in his truck. That night kickstarted the affair again, which led to the secret meetings in hotel rooms. You two got more bold with your rendezvous, even taking a weekend to the mountains. You don’t even remember the lie you told your Father as to why you were gone. 
Joel always thought you were capable. He admired you for being such a dynamic woman. To be so strong and delicate at the same time was unheard of. Even though you were much younger than him, you were well-versed in everything. You were professional and smart when it came to business. All the while, you were polite and empathetic. He would frequently come to you when he needed advice about work or an opinion on something ethical. He enjoyed hearing you ramble on about things you were passionate about. And God, did he love your laugh. 
He did not expect to keep you around as long as he did. But your body was like a drug and Joel had a nasty habit. You were always eager and available, and after a while, Joel started thinking maybe it was too much all at once. When you became comfortable enough to sleep over in his bed and make him breakfast, he knew his world was tilted on its axis. 
He needed to find a way to ruin it for himself, as he had done so many times before. 
He “slipped up” one night. As he and his chatty neighbor Jeff sat outside and smoked cigars, he spoke about his desire for you. He didn’t particularly say that you two were together, but simply insinuated that he would like to have you alone. And the rumors spread quickly. Soon enough a little birdie was in your Dad’s ear, feeding him information. 
Joel kept up the act with you, even though it was not really an act. He did like you, hell, he may have even loved you. But he did not want you to need him. So when people started paying more attention to you and him, he knew his plan was set in motion. In no time, it would all come crashing down. 
“If your Dad takes this to the board, I will lose my company. Do you understand that?”
You hated that you understood stupid business jargon. You knew that Joel losing his company would be devastating. But at this point, you could not care less. Because for as long as your affair, you watched his walls fall away. He had let you in more than once and in your delusional state, you believed for a second that he would choose you over his job. 
You clench your teeth as you suck in a sharp breath, tears still streaming down your warm face. 
“Yeah, I do.”
“Then we just end it. This has already gone too far.”
You finally turn away from him, your eyes falling to the concrete floor. As soon as he says those words, chills run down your arms. 
“You know Joel…” You drift off, using your shirt sleeve as a tissue. You wipe away a couple of tears and glare back up at him, “I would have given up everything in my life for this. My job. My relationship with my father. Everything. And the fact that you won’t even give me a chance to talk to my Dad to see if he could spare you and this whole charade, really fucking hurts. I’m not worth that to you and that… That’s what hurts the most.”
“Babe-”
“No. You don’t get to call me that anymore. You don’t get to call me anything.”
The tears flow again as you watch him exhale, his hands on his hips. His hair is unkept and the tie he’s wearing has been loosened. 
“I’m sorry,” Is all he can say while your lip quivers. You are trying not to lose it completely. 
You just shake your head, “No. You’re not sorry.”
He was. He was sorry, but he could not let you ruin everything. 
Joel would soon know that you were everything. And as you left the back door that evening, leaving behind the scent of your perfume, he knew that the smell would somehow taint his sheets, even though you had not been in them for weeks. He already started to miss the feeling of your lips. When he tried to go about his evening, he swore he would see you in the shadows of his large house. He even thought he heard your laugh. You were already haunting him even though the death of your relationship happened just hours before. 
You moved on after a couple of years. Met a guy at your 9-5, settled down, and popped out a few kiddos. Some nights you would lie awake, wondering to yourself if Joel was really happy. You never learned the truth of his deceit. After all, your Father was just grateful that his warning to Joel led to his desired outcome, which was him being gone from your life entirely. 
And Joel would be haunted for the rest of his life. No woman. No drugs. No party. Nothing ever filled the void you left behind. And it was all his fault. Just like it always had been.
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theoncomingchaos · 1 day ago
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Easy steps that could have improved the Lucanis Romance
Pacing:
Make the cake scene the first romance scene. He cooks little treats for everyone anyway. It would be a good friendly scene that gives a chance to build the relationship. We could see that Lucanis cares and is paying attention to what Rook likes, give Rook another chance to flirt, and let us see that small uncertain smile to make it clear Lucanis is interested but hesitant. Maybe a companion makes a comment about how much more effort he put into Rook's dessert than theirs. Lucanis quickly escapes the room with Spite telling him to turn around and offer to hand feed Rook. Spite is a menace.
Make the wall scene the commitment scene, but don't break Lucanis's character. He isn't good at romance, he has no experience with it, he wants it so badly and has read romance novels, but he shouldn't be confident and suave about seduction. Not after what happened with Viago. Instead, have a talk about why Lucanis has been distant and hesitant, allow Rook to reassure him, then let Lucanis so, so happily give in.
In the cafe scene, let us really talk about Spite's place in the relationship and learn more about how they are actually doing. Particularly, how they affect one another.
Let us kiss and chat to our L1 whenever we are at the lighthouse. Let us ask about their lives, factions, etc. Maybe Lucanis can invite us to the book club!
Additional Scenes I wanted:
Romantic gondola scene! After we escape the Crow party let us have a moonlit gondola scene!
Cooking together for the team. Flirty flour fight included. If Rook ends up on the counter all the better.
Varric warning us to be careful with him and comparing him to Anders. Yes, I know the truth, yes I am in denial. Real or not I want it. Continue the tradition!
More of Viago's reaction about a Rook de Riva and Lucanis being a thing. We could see him find out about it and then maybe in a banter Lucanis could mention having been threatened. Maybe Lucanis could even talk about the irony of the fact that his first crush was a de Riva and now his first love is a different de Riva. Rook actually chimes in: "I would have appreciated the dagger." "I'll get you an even better one next time we are in Treviso."
Caterina finding out- especially for a de Riva Rook. Caterina demanding they have dinner together.
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creamflix · 10 hours ago
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flix my love my darling what if we combined jjk and hsr or is this too delusional
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LUST FOR LIFE! — jjk x female reader x hsr
18+ content, minors and blank blogs do not interact. recurring themes of: established relationship, marathon sex, slight cnc, overstimulation, mind-break, threesomes, degrading, praise, p in v sex. sex toys, cucking, voyeurism, body worship, switch dynamics, oral (m. receiving). guided sex. featuring x reader pairings of: toji fushiguro & sampo koski, gojo satoru & aventurine, choso kamo & dan heng, nanami kento & veritas ratio, and (heinen era) ryomen sukuna & blade
jelli my love you got me slobbering all over the screen with your request. i would have written more but i wanted to include multiple pairings so it ended up as drabbles instead ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) i hope you like these <3 requests are still open for those who are interested, just send in an ask. 
— general masterlist ☆
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TOJI FUSHIGURO AND SAMPO KOSKI — BUSINESS DEALS!
toji had a habit of turning things up a notch, but this? this was a different league altogether. 
when you first saw sampo koski at your doorstep, looking like trouble in an expensive coat with a shit-eating grin, you thought it was just one of toji's stupid pranks.
“brought reinforcements,” toji had said, voice dripping with smug amusement. sampo, ever the showman, swept into the room like he owned it, opening a sleek case filled with an impressive lineup of toys. your face burned, mortification clashing with a thrill you couldn’t deny.
and now? god, you were wrecked. sprawled out on the bed, legs trembling, body hypersensitive, and your mind a haze of overstimulation. sampo’s laugh was low and teasing, his voice dripping with condescension. “look at you, so eager to thank us for every little thing. who’s my favorite little client, huh?”
toji’s hand, firm and warm, pressed on your lower back, pinning you down as he leaned close to your ear. “ye got a lotttta stamina, babe, but you don’t think we’re stoppin' now, do ya?”
every whimper, every moan that escaped your lips only fueled their sadistic amusement. sampo alternated between cruel, taunting comments and offering you praise that made your head spin, while toji took full advantage of your pliant state, whispering filthy things about how good you looked falling apart for them.
it was endless, round after round, with every toy from sampo’s collection coming into play. the overwhelming sensations had you slurring broken words of gratitude and sobbing from the sheer intensity, unable to think, just feel.
“we might have to invest in more,” sampo mused, twirling a dildo in his hand like it was a business proposition. “our sweet little thing here seems to have a taste for luxury.”
toji laughed, a dark and throaty sound. “oh, don’t worry, she’ll take everythin' we give her. wouldn’t want her to get spoiled though… unless you like bein' spoiled, baby?”
you could barely respond, too lost in the haze, but the smirk they exchanged promised that your torment — and pleasure — was far from over.
GOJO SATORU & AVENTURINE — ALL IN!
“a brother from another mother,” gojo had said with that usual mischievous grin, clapping aventurine on the shoulder like they weren’t both trouble incarnate. aventurine, all sharp smiles and unnerving eyes, had leaned in, his sandy-blond hair catching the light, and said, “nice to meet you, sweetheart. gojo’s told me allll about you. every. single. thing.”
you didn’t know if it was the way aventurine’s voice dripped with something wicked or the way gojo gave him a knowing smirk, but you had a feeling this meeting wasn’t going to stay innocent for long. and god, were you right.
now? now you were caught between them, your senses obliterated, every nerve ending alight. aventurine’s hand tilted your chin up, forcing your dazed eyes to meet his. “think you can handle another round, sweetheart? satoru says you’re good for it, but I’d like to see for myself.”
“she’s better than good,” gojo cut in, his tone smug as his hand trailed down your side, igniting shivers in its wake. “but let’s make this fun — wanna bet how long it takes before she’s begging again?”
aventurine’s grin widened, all teeth and danger. “oh, you’re on. but let’s not stop there. how about we bet on how many times she screams my name?”
you were barely holding it together, their words tangling in your hazy mind as their hands and mouths worked you over. every move was calculated, every kiss, every thrust a competition to see who could unravel you faster.
aventurine was smooth and precise, his calculated touches finding every spot that made you see stars, while gojo was relentless, teasing and taunting as he pushed you to your limits. they coordinated like they’d done this a hundred times before, one filling the spaces where the other left off, leaving you no room to recover.
“look at her,” aventurine said, his voice a low purr as he watched your trembling form. “a little overwhelmed, aren’t you, sweetheart? don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. maybe.”
“nah,” gojo chimed in, his grin never faltering. “she loves it. just look at how she’s clinging to us — like she doesn’t want it to end.”
you could barely respond, lost in the pleasure as their playful banter became background noise to the overwhelming sensations. every sound you made, every time your body betrayed you, only fueled their competitive fire.
“i think that’s my point,” aventurine declared triumphantly when you screamed his name, your voice cracking from the intensity.
“oh, don’t get cocky,” gojo shot back, his tone light but his actions anything but. “we’re just getting started.”
and you? you couldn’t even protest. not that you wanted to. you were here to enjoy the ride, and with these two, it was shaping up to be the wildest ride of your life.
CHOSO KAMO & DAN HENG — SOCIALLY FUCKED ANXIOUS!
choso had always been your sweet, reserved boyfriend — the type who’d spend hours listening to you, loving you with a quiet devotion that melted your heart. so when he mentioned he was making friends, especially someone like dan heng, you couldn’t have been prouder.
but this? this was unexpected.
dan heng, all elegance and composure, was seated next to choso, his blue eyes studying you with a mix of intrigue and desire that sent a shiver down your spine. choso, your shy, anxious boyfriend, was the one who suggested it. his voice soft but firm, his dark eyes burning with an intensity you didn’t know he had. “only if you want to,” he murmured, his hand holding yours with that same gentle warmth you’d always known.
and now here you were, sandwiched between them, their lips worshipping every inch of you. dan heng’s kisses were slow, deliberate, trailing down your body with reverence, while choso stayed closer, his lips brushing against your neck as he murmured sweet reassurances.
“you’re so beautiful,” dan heng said softly, his voice like silk, as his hands mapped your curves.
choso nodded, his voice thick with adoration. “perfect. always perfect.”
but their tenderness didn’t last. it wasn’t long before patience gave way to raw hunger. dan heng’s composure cracked first, his movements becoming urgent as he gripped your hips, his kisses turning into bites that left you gasping. choso followed suit, his shyness replaced by a desperation you’d only seen glimpses of before, his hands firm as they guided you exactly where he wanted.
their rhythm was relentless, their coordination uncanny as they pushed you to multiple orgasms over and over again. choso’s soft murmurs of praise contrasted with dan heng’s deep, rumbling groans, the combination leaving you breathless and shaking.
“you can take it,” dan heng growled, his usual calm voice tinged with something feral as he watched you writhe between them.
“you’re doing so good for us,” choso added, his tone still laced with love, even as his thrusts grew rougher, more insistent.
you couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, your body overwhelmed by their touch, their intensity. all you could do was surrender, grateful for every moment, every sensation.
as the night blurred into a haze of pleasure, one thought lingered in your mind: you were so glad choso had stepped out of his comfort zone. if this was what friendship brought, you were more than happy to let him keep making new ones.
NANAMI KENTO & VERITAS RATIO — LESSON IN RELIEF!
nanami had always spoken highly of veritas ratio, his tone fond yet full of respect whenever his name came up. “a genius,” he would say, “but insufferably eccentric.” still, he admired ratio’s dedication to teaching and his unmatched intellect, and when his best friend visited, nanami insisted on inviting him to stay at your home.
ratio was a sight to behold — his wavy violet hair fell over one eye, the other catching you with its piercing, dual-toned gaze. he was polite, almost reserved, but the sharpness in his eyes betrayed his mind at work, constantly analyzing, constantly thinking.
you hadn’t expected the night to turn this way.
“she’s yours for the evening,” nanami had said, his voice calm, almost businesslike, as though he were discussing dinner plans instead of offering you up to his best friend. “i know how taxing your work is, ratio. consider it my way of thanking you for all the years of friendship.”
ratio hadn’t needed to be asked twice. his demeanor shifted as he approached you, the intensity of his gaze pinning you in place. “a most generous gift, nanami,” he said, his tone smooth, his lips curling into a small, amused smile. “i promise to make the most of it.”
you had barely registered the words before ratio’s hands were on you, firm yet measured, like he was solving a complex problem with precision. his lips brushed against your neck, his breath hot as he murmured, “so eager to help, aren’t you? a willing participant in your husband’s… generosity.”
nanami watched, seated nearby with a glass of whiskey in hand, his expression composed but his eyes betraying a flicker of satisfaction. “don’t go too easy on her, ratio. she can handle more than she lets on.”
ratio chuckled, low and dark, as his hands roamed your body. “oh, i don’t intend to.”
he wasn’t gentle — not entirely. his movements were calculated, his touch almost clinical at first, but it didn’t take long for his restraint to unravel. his words came fast, sharp, like a lecture, each one making you tremble under his control.
“you’re quite the distraction,” he mused, his voice edged with amusement. “no wonder nanami looks so content these days. it seems i underestimated just how… accommodating you are.”
you barely heard nanami’s low chuckle over your own gasps and moans, your body responding to ratio’s relentless attention. his strength surprised you, his hands gripping your thighs as he pushed you past every limit you thought you had.
“good girl,” ratio praised, his voice a mix of condescension and admiration as he watched you fall apart. “you’re learning quickly. maybe there’s hope for the future generation after all.”
“she’s an excellent student,” nanami added, his tone warm with pride. “but she’s all yours for now, ratio. don’t hold back.”
and ratio didn’t. by the end of the night, you were utterly spent, every nerve in your body alight, your mind foggy with exhaustion and satisfaction. as you lay there, caught between them, you couldn’t help but think how lucky you were to have a husband so generous — and a man like ratio to appreciate the gift.
RYOMEN SUKUNA & BLADE — A LORD’S DECREE!
sukuna was as cruel as he was powerful, a lord whose sadistic streak ran deep. you had earned your title as his consort, climbing from the ranks of his concubines, yet even now, his affection came wrapped in torment. his amusement at your expense was a constant reminder of his dominion over you.
tonight was no exception.
“you’ll honor my general,” sukuna commanded, his voice a rumble of authority as he reclined on his throne, sharp eyes watching you like a predator savoring its prey. his lips curved into a smirk, his four arms resting lazily, exuding dominance.
before you stood blade, the general who had delivered yet another victory in sukuna’s name. he was imposing, with dark blue hair tipped in crimson, his red eyes sharp and unyielding. the bandages on his body only added to his aura, a testament to his countless battles.
“kneel,” sukuna ordered, his tone leaving no room for hesitation.
you obeyed, trembling but determined not to falter under your lord’s gaze. blade remained stoic, his expression unreadable as you lowered yourself before him.
“use that mouth of yours well,” sukuna drawled, leaning forward slightly, his smirk deepening. “but remember, pet, blade knows better than to take liberties. isn't that right, general?”
blade’s deep voice was steady, but there was an edge to it. “of course, my lord. your word is absolute.”
you began, your movements tentative at first, the weight of sukuna’s gaze a constant pressure. blade’s restraint was palpable, his body tense as you worked, every sound you elicited from him controlled, calculated.
“good,” sukuna murmured, his voice dripping with sadistic satisfaction. “you should feel honored, blade. not everyone gets to enjoy my consort’s talents.”
blade’s only response was a low grunt, his eyes flickering to sukuna briefly before returning to you. his self-control was admirable, but you could sense the strain, the effort it took for him to abide by sukuna’s decree.
“don’t get greedy,” sukuna warned, his tone sharp as a blade. “you know the consequences if you so much as think about taking more.”
blade’s voice was a strained rasp. “i wouldn’t dare, my lord.”
sukuna chuckled darkly, his amusement clear as he watched the scene unfold. “good. remember your place, general.”
you could feel your own limits approaching, the intensity of the situation overwhelming, but sukuna’s laughter reminded you that this was as much a test for you as it was for blade.
“don’t stop now, pet,” sukuna said, his grin widening. “you wouldn’t want me to think you’re slacking, would you?”
you shook your head weakly, redoubling your efforts despite the ache in your jaw, the humiliation of it all only fueling sukuna’s sadistic pleasure.
when it was finally over, blade stepped back, his expression unreadable, though you could see the faintest flicker of gratitude in his eyes. sukuna, meanwhile, looked utterly pleased, his laughter echoing through the chamber.
“a celebration worthy of my general,” sukuna declared, his tone mocking. “well done, pet. perhaps you are worthy of your title after all.”
you swallowed hard, your body trembling as you knelt before him, his cruel gaze still heavy on you. being sukuna’s consort meant enduring his games, his punishments, and his praise — if it could even be called that.
and yet, you wouldn’t dare question your place by his side.
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the-flaneur · 2 days ago
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the enemy of my friend is my enemy, but he's also his own worst enemy? so he's my friend? (nr6) | pt3
pairing: nico rosberg x hamilton!reader [smau]
summary: in an attempt to plan a surprise birthday party for your brother's 39th birthday, you enlist the help of his ex-??? to get into his apartment
warnings: none (i think)
[prev] [masterlist] [requests]
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lewishamilton
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liked by fencer, charles_leclerc, roscoelovescoco and others
lewishamilton Excited to be back home for New Year's. Here's to an amazing 2024!
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user1 LOOKING GOOD SIRRRRRR 😩😩😩
user2 i usually hate manspreading, but the way this man does it is sooooooo sexy user3 literalllyyyyy it's the see through shirt that does it for me though user4 can't wait to see him without his braids, they're the only thing that get me through the winter break 😭😭😭
user5 UGH HOW DOES MONACO HAVE SUCH GOOD WEATHER IN LIKE THE MIDDLE OF WINTER, BRO'S IN A SHORT SLEEVE SHIRT
fencer can't wait to see you brother 💪
user6 yooooo birthday bash hints??? user7 i mean his birthday is pretty soon....maybe we'll see another bro pic hahahaha
user8 happy new years eve from london ❤️
charles_leclerc when are you going to finally invite me out on a yacht trip ☹️
user9 LOL CHARLES ARENT U LITERALLY MONEGASQUE AND RICH - GET UR OWN YACHT 🤣🤣🤣 user10 bro just wants to hang out with the goat
user11 ya'll anyone else catch on y/n's absent comment??? girlie is usually on top with responding to her brother's posts...
user12 yk she doesn't always have to respond right, like she could just be with lewis, or you know...being her own person user13 lmfaooo so real @/user12 user14 but like she's not even given it a like? i wonder where she is... LIKED BY lewishamilton
user15 hopefully mercedes have their car back on track this year, we NEED to see this man win a race 🙌🙌🙌
user16 CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT INSTA POST!!! BIRTHDAY TIMEEEEEE
f1gossipofficial
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f1gossipofficial well well well it looks like an old romance may have been rekindled just before new years!
y/n hamilton and nico rosberg have been seen arguing in y/n's ferrari daytona sp3 in monaco, before engaging in a heated makeout session. are we going to see our first new (honorary) wag of 2024?
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user20 OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
user20 WE ARE SO BACK GUYS
user21 HOLY SHIT MOTHER AND FATHER ARE BACK TOGETHER TRULY MY ROMAN EMPIRE
user22 someone gotta call the ambulance for lewis, he's about to get the biggest heart attack of his life
user23 cant believe their relationship has literally been strangers -> friends -> secret lovers -> enemies -> friends? -> lovers????
user24 that's why they're ICONS 💪💪💪 user25 istg if they go back to being enemies after all this crapshow they've put us through... user26 i think max would rather just shove them in a hotlap with him around spa and then lock them together in a room then face them being enemies again
user27 YA'LL ARE MISSING THE POINT AGAIN, THEY'VE PROBABLY BEEN TOGETHER SINCE BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR
user28 RIGHTTTT 🤨 like are people seriously think they havent contacted each other before this lol user29 nah i think this is legit their first interaction in like eight years - welp didn't take them that long to get BACK together
user30 do you guys need a third??? asking for a friend
user31 bros are not subtle at all 😭 making out in such a recognisable car and city where everyone knows who tf they are 😭😭😭
user32 i forgot how good they look together 😍
user33 watch their kids be pretty as f too
user34 well looks like both hamiltons like rosberg, wonder if thats definitely not at all caused any arguments 😒
user35 well you defs werent around for the great hamilton twitter discourse of 2014... user36 oh yeah forgot about that user37 🤨 someone wanna tell me what that is?
user38 CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO ACTUALLY FINALLY POST EACH OTHER AFTER EIGHT YEARS
user39 i missed the anniversary posts so bad 😍 user40 their cute little dates healed something in me
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lover-of-mine · 1 day ago
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I gotta speak my truth: Lou is an IDIOT. He could've left a beloved side character who helped major movements on a very anticipated storyline on the most popular scripted show on the us right now if he had just shut the fuck up. If he hadn't seen the way people were interacting with him on Twitter back in April as a way to get money and some instant gratification recognition and jumped on cameo to hijack the story and pretend he had creative power and was anything other than another one of Buck's love interest who happened to be a guy, Tommy might've ended up showing up after the breakup. He's a first responder, it would be so easy to make them cross paths. Instead the guy decided to act as if he is more important than he is, milk his fans for all they are worth, and spit on the show's face on the way out as if playing the victim is going to get him a new contract. He could've used this to boost his career and instead he keeps shooting it on the foot because his ego is more important. He's a pr nightmare and he's been a pr nightmare from the get go and now we're somehow in overtime because he just can't stop. This is insane behavior. You think Tim Minear, Ryan Murphy, abc as whole, every Disney company, will want to work with a guy who only has his father's name to fall back on, is a perpetual guest star, doesn't have the talent to back up his ego and somehow can't stop talking shit about the plotline he knew he was brought in to play? His 704 interviews talk about being an entry level relationship, talk about Tommy being a stepping stone for Buck to "work out the kinks before Eddie", talk about how it was supposed to be Eddie so clearly the relationship hadn't been planned, and now he wants to talk about how he didn't see this coming? My man you filmed the breakup before filming the happy scenes from 805. There's no way in fucking hell you didn't know. There are contracts involved, he had to have known how many episodes he was supposed to be in. And playing the victim and saying Tim didn't consult with him and he didn't want this to happen is not gonna make anyone on the show be like "okay we need to bring this man back". Tim once named a villain over a fan who annoyed him. What the fuck do you think he's gonna do about a guest star on a power trip because he got 10 people paying him 5 dollars over and over for him to say what the want to hear and decided he's somehow now indispensable for the plot? It sure as fuck won't be bringing them back.
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sierrale8ne · 3 days ago
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40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER TEN
thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…
pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc
taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlifwy @patscorner @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @makethemhoesmad @slvt4her @uconnpazzi @luvapaigeeyy @hedidnotpleaseme @paigesbabygirl @mopopshop @omg-imtumbling @ch12334 @wbb4l
warnings angst (?), homophobia/homophobic slur, sexual innuendos, sexual content.
kalena speakss 🪽! so here’s the ACTUAL chapter ten, i accidentally posted a different version last night so if you saw that just completely disregard it lmao
July 2025 — Crypto.com Arena, Los Angeles, California 
“‘Preciate you comin’ out, man.” I nod, my hand giving a firm dap to Julian.
Yeah, the Julian who’s girlfriend I seem to be helplessly obsessed with.
We had just beat the Fever at home in a blow out on the second night of a back-to-back. My body is aching, and as soon as I left the locker room, I was ready to push through those metal doors and go home. Maybe stop for some dinner too. 
Until I heard it. The voice that has replayed in my head rather than in my ears for the last week and a half. That slight southern drawl with the occasional upbeat ending. It’s perfect, and I didn't realize how bad I’d missed it until now.
I meant it when I thought I needed a break. Maraye was running laps in my head, like a marathon. She’s all I seem to be surrounded by. But there’s so many issues, and Nika was right: I don’t need to be getting hurt again.
So I stepped back, wanting to figure out what I really did want. 
Now I know that I want her in my bed, hands in my hair, moans of my name leaving her mouth. More importantly, though, I want her to be mine. So damn badly. I wanted to grow with her, watch her succeed up close, to do all the things with her that come with a relationship. 
That shit was fucking terrifying. I can't remember the last time I let a girl get this close to me. To learn me in the way Maraye has been able to. Or even being able to learn her in the way that I have.
So when she stands there, next to Julian in her curve hugging jeans and a cropped shirt with my name and number, her eyes looking everywhere but at myself, I know that something is off.
“Congrats All-star.” She says to me, eyes looking at me but not really. She darts everywhere but at my eyes, which normally are her main attraction.
The All-star list dropped at halftime, Rickea and Dearica making the list as well. A smile spreads onto my face and I finally drop my hand from Julian’s. “Thanks, angel.” It slips. I shouldn’t have said it, not here in front of him. I knew I shouldn’t.
It was so natural, falling from my tongue like butter. 
I see his eyebrows furrow, looking down at his girlfriend as if she would stop me from calling her that again. 
“You comin’ to Indy?”
“I was thinking about it. Yeah.” Raye answers and it’s the first time throughout this awkward exchange that I actually see those eyes. Wide, doe, eyes that I know I could happily spend the rest of my life just looking at. “Uh, we. We were thinking about going.” She corrects when Julian darts his head to her.
I nod, wiping the palms of my hands on the side of my jeans. 
“I should probably head out, Ion wanna keep y’all too long.” I force out through the tension. I don’t want to leave. Because I know that as soon as I do, I’m going to force myself into more dry texts and ignore her calls and keep myself away from looking at that damn perfect face. 
“You sure?” Julian questions me. His tone is skeptical, like he knows something that I don’t. Or that he knows something that he shouldn’t.
“Yeah, I got some places to be at too.” I hum, pulling my phone out to look at the time. It’s not late, barely even 10 o’clock, but that slight movement is enough to make them both think I have other plans.
Maraye pushes her curls from her face, the bright white hallway lights make her gold septum glisten in her nose. “I’ll see you around then?” She asks, taking a step closer to me and we hug.
The only difference is this hug isn’t what I’m used to. It isn’t the hug where her arms wrap around my neck, mine feel on the swell of her ass, and I can smell every bit of the scent she chose to wear. That would be too risky.
So instead she holds me by my side, my arm cautiously around her shoulder while her palm presses into my back. It’s difficult for me to keep my composure because deep down I know that I should be able to hug her however I damn well please. 
And I can’t.
All because of him. It’s always him.
The hum of the engine is all that fills the car, along with the occasional voice of whatever rapper Julian has playing at minimal volume while I drive. 
It’s been like this for a minute. Just the two of us sitting quietly, my finger tips occasionally tapping against the steering wheel while he stares out the window. I’m supposed to be taking us to his place, we’d eat some dinner and maybe watch a movie.
“So, you and Paige, huh?” He asks, his voice so monotonous.
My hands start to sweat and nearly slip down the wheel. “What?”
He turns his head towards me and though my eyes are glued to the road ahead, I can feel the way his dark eyes are burning holes into my skin. 
“You and her. Y’all got something goin’ on? She callin’ you angel and you don’t do nothin’ about it?” His voice casually picks up, going from nonchalant to angry in a matter of seconds. I briefly look at him, and even through the darkness of the night I can see his light skin slowly build in a red tint.
“Paige and I are friends, Ju.” I breathe out. I know that’s true, even though it’s also a lie. Paige and I stopped being just friends the second I kissed her on my couch.
“Then why the hell is it that you been hanging out with her so much, but the second I’m around y’all wanna be all awkward and you wanna look at the floor?”
It’s my fault for thinking that he wouldn’t be able to pick up on our awkward exchanges, because the tension was very noticeable. It was my first time seeing her since that night in the studio. She’s been avoidant lately, and honestly I couldn’t even blame her.
She was over it. And I guess I am too. 
Yet, here I stand, lying to Julian once again and letting him think nothing is wrong. Keeping him at arm's reach when I should really be letting him go.
“I’m sick of fighting, Julian.” I told him. That’s also true. I am so damn exhausted from all the back and forth yelling, but right now I just really don’t want to have this specific conversation. 
“Answer my fucking question, Raye. Are you fucking her?” He yells, never taking his glance off the side of my face.
“What, no!” I look over at him again, my hands shaking while I grip the wheel. “Quit being so insecure! Just because I got good people in my life, doesn’t mean I’m fucking them. I’m with you.”
I hate this. This lying and manipulation. I fucking hate it because this isn’t who I am. I’m not an asshole. I’m not a cheater. Then here I am, doing everything I write about in my songs, hurting him just to protect my own image.
“Insecure? You think I’m jealous of that fucking fag? Like she can give you anything that I do.” He scoffs. His words hit my ears and as I process them, they taste bitter. Every gear in my head starts turning and I start to get angry. Not at what he said, but how he speaks about her. I waste no breath in defending her.
“Watch how the fuck you talk about her, Ju.”
We approached his apartment complex.
“Why you defending her?”
“Why are you calling her out her name?” I yell back.
He’s silent. We stop at a light and I turn my whole head to make eye contact with him. “Should’ve never that you get close to that fuckin’ dyke. You wanna fuck around with her, go do that shit then.”
I reach for the panel on my door, pressing the unlock button. The click echos through the car. “Get out.”
He looks at me surprised, as if he didn’t expect me to say that to him. “Raye.”
“No. You wanna talk to me crazy, you wanna talk about Paige crazy. So get the fuck out.” I reason. “Your place is right there. Walk. Get the fuck out of my car, Julian.”
He scoffs, slumping back against the seat. “Man, you crazy.”
“Get out of my car. You think I’m fuckin’ joking?” I laugh completely irritated. I reach for his phone, taking it off aux and throwing it into his lap. I look at him expectantly.
Julian huffs, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the passenger door. He hops out, looking at me with squinted eyes. “So you—”
“Close my door.” I cut him off, no longer looking back at him, but the green light that is blaring at me to keep driving.
He huffs, slamming the door and I speed off as soon as he does so.
I sit with my own thoughts. So much running through my head, but it all goes back to her. And suddenly I don’t care about the lying or the distance. I just want to talk to her. To talk to Paige.
I pull off into a nearby gas station, pulling my phone out of my purse.
can we talk?
It isn’t even a few seconds before the gray text bubbles pop up on my screen. Then they disappear and I groan.
Until they pop up again, this time fast and insistent.
Yeah we should
Come over?
I know better. Me and Paige don’t have a great track record of keeping our hands to ourselves when we’re alone. So I should text back that we should meet somewhere else.
That’s until she texts me again: Please?
send your addy
And she does.
My leg bounces from where I sit on a kitchen stool. It’s not in the anxious way, but in the distracting way. My arm is stretched out over the edge of the counter that I lean on. My fingers tug on my bottom lip while I look at her.
Raye’s been here for a few minutes, going on about something Julian has done. I was listening at first, I think he knows and argument being the specific terms that stuck in my head.
She stood in front of me, pulling her curls up into a bun on the top of her head. It makes the hem of that damned cropped shirt ride up on her body and expose gold jewelry on her belly button.
So yes, it’s hard to listen to what she’s saying when she’s practically tempting me right now. But I do listen when she says:
“I dunno. I’m done with all of this shit.”
If I were a dog, my ears would practically be perking up at it. I sit up straight, leaning with my elbows on my knees to get closer. To make sure I heard her correctly.
Throughout this whole encounter with Maraye, she’s only ever told me she was tired or that she was bothered. Not once did she ever tell me she was done, and that makes all the difference.
“You’re done? For real?”
“Yes. I dunno. It’s not that simple, P.”
I let out a scoff. “Yes it is. You aren’t comfortable ‘round him like you are with me. You don’t spend all day with him like you do with me.” I shrug my shoulders, slightly frustrated. I feel like I’ve given Raye enough evidence that I’m better, as cocky as it sounds. But yet here we are. “It’s hella simple. You jus’ don’t wanna admit it.”
“I didn’t come here for you to scold me.”
“So whatcha come here for then, huh?” I ask, standing up from the stool. 
My hair tumbles down my shoulders as I tower over her. Maraye’s eyes trail down my body and the white shirts that clings to each ridge of my body.
“You wanna kiss me? Wan’ me to fuck you? Wanna keep talking about him? What do you want, Raye? ‘Cause I know what I asked you to come here for.”
“And why’d you do that, Paige?” She responds, getting in my face.
I should be bothered and put up yet another defense. Then I’m reminded that she’s already defensive, herself. She’s frustrated from all the arguing that took place the minute I left her and Julian at Crypto. 
She’s mad. And normally I’d justify her anger, but tonight; it’s all our fault. We made a mess, started seeing each other in a way that we shouldn’t have and Julian caught on. He knows.
“Well for one, Ion wanna be a home-wrecker.” I say, throwing my hands up. “You might be over him theoretically and he might be a raging asshole, but I don’t do that shit, Raye.” And I don’t.
Fooling around, seeing multiple girls, I used to do a lot of it. I can admit that. Home-wrecking, however, has never been on my list.
Raye lets out a snort. “Spell theoretically.”
I huff and run my hands through my hair. “You’re so unbelievably annoying.” I respond, stepping away and walking past her to my couch but she tugs my arm.
“Okay, wait.” She laughs. “You’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
“Yeah, okay.” I stand in front of her again. This time we’re even closer, her hand wrapped around my wrist. “What do you want me to do?” It’s more of a statement than a question because she knows.
She knows I want her to breakup with him and choose me and then let me fuck her within an inch of her life immediately after. That, I could get behind.
“You wanna hear me say it?”
“Please?” 
Raye’s free hand trails up my arm. She’s so tempting, the words so close to dying on my tongue and not being heard at all. Her voice is so enticing, and she looks up at me through her lashes like I hung the moon.
“I… want you, to make a fucking decision.” My voice doesn’t waver as I look deep into her eyes. “You can choose whoever you want, but I can’t keep doin’ this. You choose.”
This is the closest I’m going to get to fighting her off. I don’t push her arm off of me or tell her to back up. This is the closest I’ll get, because I simply can’t get enough of her.
“Okay.” Maraye nods, clutching onto my bicep.
“Okay? That’s it? You not gonna yell at me for making you choose?”
She smiles and shakes her head. The bun on her head shakes a little, and it makes me smile too. “I’ll choose. You gotta give me some time tho’. Few days maybe?”
It seems pretty reasonable to me, though I’d rather she break up with him right this minute over the phone, that would be just a bit crazy.
“We got a road trip. I’ll be gone all week, that work?”
“You’re really serious about this, huh?”
“I just need to know. You pick him, fine.” I shrug. “But if you pick me, even better.”
She grins. “It’s giving Meredith Grey.”
Now I push her off me, listening to the way her laugh fills my ears and bounces off the walls. She stumbles back a tad before catching me on the couch. My back rests against it while Maraye stands in front of me, the spot between my legs becoming designated for her.
“C’mon. It was funny!”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I’m a sexy idiot.”
I hum, rolling my eyes.
It was things like this I missed. The laughter, the jokes, the comfort. Sure she was stunning, and the flirting and kisses were otherworldly, but this topped it. These moments with Maraye that were so hard to come by.
I like the way she looks when she’s looking down at me. It’s intimidating, but still so damn hot.
“A very sexy one.” I finally respond, sitting up more so she can see me better. “These jeans look incredible on you, by the way.”
“Yeah? You wan’ a 360?” Raye jokes.
“I want a 180, angel.” I reply. My hands reach for her hips, playing with the fabric of her belt loops. Raye brushes me off, making a frown spread across my mouth. 
She bows her head to check the dainty watch on her wrist. “It’s late, P. I should get home.”
“You could stay here with me.” My hands drop from her body, instead using my eyes to suggestively try and convince her to stay the night. It’s a joke. Mostly.
“And you were the one who said no more home-wrecking.”
My lips are pressed against hers, tongues swirling and spit swapping between the both of us.
It’s urgent. More urgent than any way Paige has ever kissed me before. She doesn’t give me a second to think before her finger is breaking me open and I’m gushing all over her. The stretch is so foreign, and I can’t believe how unbelievably full I feel with just one finger.
“Like this?” She asks after pulling back with a nasty suck of my tongue. I’m nodding at her words tucking my lip between my teeth. 
“Mmph yes. Yes.” A whimper rumbles from my mouth. I clutch into her shoulder, tossing my head back until it hits the pillow under me. 
My legs start closing in on themselves when she adds a second one. “I’m tryna make you feel good, baby. Why you fightin’ me?” Paige asks. Her voice as deep and hungry as I ever heard it. 
Her fingers curl into me, thumb rubbing tight circles on my unbelievably sensitive clit. She found it within a matter of milliseconds, it felt like. And the lights were off.
“He fuck you better than me? Huh?”
I barely hear her over the sound of my own cunt but that doesn’t stop me from shaking my head eagerly. “No. Fuck no, P. He doesn’t.” 
I’m nearly melting at the stimulation. Her voice in my ear and her finger’s scissoring me apart
“P.” I hiccup, nothing else filling my head except the pleasure I’m feeling. Her fingers are so damn long, tickling the deepest parts of me that I didn’t even know existed. She consumes me, swallows me whole. 
Her mouth finds my neck again, biting on my sensitive spot and making my eyes roll. I’m so close, my arousal already dripping past my cunt and onto the sheets below my ass. It’s messy. Wet and messy.
“You wanna cum for me, angel?” Paige teases, licking at the mark she left on my neck.
“Fuck, Fuck! ‘Mm God, P, you’re—”
“You’re doin’ so good, ma. I know you wanna cum.” She nods. “Just let me have it.”
“Paige!” I moan, reaching to grip her hand.
“Pretty fuckin’ girl. Cum, baby. I’m right here.” 
Her words add unbelievable fuel to the fire and my back arches underneath her body. She’s talking me through it, bringing me to the edge and I gasp before waking up.
The sun peeks through my blinds and sleep still crusts my eyes. I wipe them, sitting up half naked in my bed. 
I got home late last night. Closer to one in the morning. Paige was distracting, and I simply couldn’t just leave when she was begging me to stay.
My body is sweaty, my breath is embarrassingly ragged, and My panties are so soaked under the shorts I wore to bed. 
When I sit up, the duvet covering my body, I reach for my phone. Then I see them, the hundreds of texts and calls from Julian and the text from Paige.
Hope you make the right decision
I’ll see you when I get back ma 🫶🏼
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iamsooraa · 3 days ago
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caitlyn and ambessa's relationship portrays an interesting parallel that i haven't seen anyone talk about. at first, i couldn't see the significance of their relationship beyond the obvious narrative of a puppet dictatorship, but then i remembered the scene between mel and ambessa. mel asking her why she sent her away, and ambessa saying that she couldn't stand the look in mel's face whenever she made the decisions she thought was necessary to protect her and their family.
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and this mirrors cait and vi's relationship in s1 and s2 act 1. from the very beginning, vi directly confronts cait's beliefs and biases about zaun and it's people. in their first interaction, cait says "in what mad world would i trust someone like you?" and vi instantly is pissed off by this comment (rightfully so). cait has already been made aware that there is no record of vi's incarceration, and can infer that she is being held without probable cause. vi tearing into her about that comment makes cait question her previous notions about not only vi, but about the other possible innocent people from zaun that are wrongfully imprisoned.
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throughout their story in zaun, cait's ignorance is constantly confronted by not only what she sees in the undercity but by what vi tells and shows her about herself (like her childhood home). cait's value for honesty allows her to build a trusting relationship between her and vi. she begins to value her insight and relies on her to help make pivotal decisions.
cait even listened to vi when she asked her not to kill her sister, jinx (despite knowing how dangerous she was), and this unfortunately led to the death of her mother. throughout s1, vi is the source of her strength towards her conviction to find the truth. however, for the first time, vi was her weakness, and that weakness led to irreparable consequences.
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after the death of her mother, and the eventual attack at the memorial, we see that vi has become an emotional anchor for cait as we see her slip into her old biases of the undercity. when cait calls the zaunites "animals", vi is there to remind her that they were trying to get a rise out of her, trying to remind her that the attack is independent of zaunites. we also see that vi is constantly checking on her and asking her not to change, seeing that her anger and grief are making her slip from the old cait that she knew.
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this all comes to a head at the end of s2 act 1, when vi stops cait from shooting jinx due to isha's presence. when she tells vi that she's no different than jinx, she not only has fully slipped back into her prejudice, but she is subconsciously pushing away the last pillar of reason she has, vi. cait believes that this path to revenge is the best way to protect her people and to honor her mother's memory, but how can she make the difficult decisions when the one person she loves constantly questions her? and that's what makes her and ambessa's relationship so fascinating. just like ambessa, cait couldn't make the decisions she thought was best to protect what she cared about the most because she couldn't stand the look in vi's eyes: concern and fear. ambessa understood that vi was cait's weakness, just like how mel was hers. she knew that maintaining cait's isolation from vi (as stated in s2 act 2) was essential to maintaining power over cait and subsequently piltover and hextech.
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f1amour · 2 days ago
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˖ ࣪ 𖥔 NO ONE NOTICED — CARLOS SAINZ
[social media au + some real life]
pairing | carlos sainz x mexican!reader
face claim ★ danna paola
content warnings | age gap (reader is 22) angst, suggestive content
authors note | not spell checked. based off no one noticed by the marías. if anyone would like a part two with a happy ending let me know <3 posting this to start off some manifestation that carlos wins the vegas gp please just one more win with ferrari 🤞🏼
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liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt, landonorris, bellahadid, dulcemaria, and 842,496 others
yourusername monza gp was amazing as always. now off to my home for a little break 🇲🇽🤍
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user1 she ATE every single outfit at monza
user2 girl might as well post carlos in the second slide we all know that’s him😭
alexandrastmleaux pretty girl 💓💓💓
yourusername please that’s all you 🤍
carmenmmundt hermosa! can’t wait to see you
yourusername reuniting so soon i love you😭
user3 kind of new to the fandom but how does she know so many wags??
user4 she’s a singer and occasional youtuber who was invited to sing the national anthem of mexico at the mexico city gp in 2021. it’s been rumored she has a fwb situation with carlos but never been confirmed even though she’s been spotted in his garage at multiple races
user5 carlos needs to make it official atp she’s his biggest supporter despite him constantly saying he’s not in a relationship and doesn’t want to be in one
user6 our girl deserves better if he wont appreciate her then let her find someone who will
♥️ yourusername liked this comment
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SEPTEMBER, 2023
You walk close behind Carlo as he makes his way back inside the house after having a relaxing day at the beach he’d saw the dms from random people about you liking a certain comment “It was an accident. I thought I was liking Carmen’s comment and I don’t know my thumb slipped or—.”
“An accident? You responded to Carmen way earlier that comment was made hours later. Just stop lying for once in your life, yn!”
“No that’s now fair, Carlos. You say I lie all the time? I lie for you! I don’t want this anymore. I want something real…that’s the truth.” Your eyes well up with tears overcome with emotions you sit on the bed feeling deflated.
Carlos sighs and sits beside you, “Y/n…we said from the beginning this would be—.”
“No feelings attached only sex because with both our careers being busy a relationship would not be healthy for us. I have that memorized, Carlos. I know we agreed to that and it was going well,” You quote what he had said to you the night after the México City Gp in 2021 where you two had spent the night together.
“I thought I could have sex with you and have no feelings for you but how can I not? You…you always know what will cheer me up. You are the first person I call or text in the morning even if I’ve had a busy week. You know exactly how I take my tea or coffee, you kiss me with a passion that makes me believe you love me too, you hold me like you never wanna let go…how can I not fall in love with you?”
And there it was. The three words Carlos had been trying to avoid from you not because he didn’t feel the same way but he knew his life and your would ever be stable for a relationship. Among other things he just knew this may not end right if you got into a relationship but now looking at it, this situationship was ending now.
“Y/n…I don’t feel the same way.”
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SEPTEMBER, 2023
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liked by yourusername, user1, user2, user3, and others
smoothoperator_updates carlos has won the singapore gp!!! this is a huge accomplishment after redbull dominating season so far. congrats carlos! 🏎️
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user1 anyone else see yn like this post? why was she not there😭
user2 yn in the likes because she unfollowed carlos…my heart is breaking
user3 they definitely ended their relationship or whatever it was after the monza gp just a few days later she unfollowed him even though he still follows her
user4 y’all go check f1gossiponthepaddock recent post…carlos is horrible for that
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f1gossiponthepaddock spotted! carlos sainz cozying up and kissing mystery brunette at a club celebrating his singapore gp win. sources at the part said he never left her sights and was very hands on. quite a fast rebound after being spotted with y/n y/l/n just a few weeks ago.
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NOVEMBER, 2023 • PODCAST INTERVIEW
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yourusername posted a story !
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slide 1 tan lejos de mi, te sigo pensando. me canso llorando.
carlossainz55 posted a story
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slide 1 i wanted to stay, i wanted to be there. i wanted to hold you, but i was afraid. i should've told you.
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chickadeeee · 4 hours ago
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Yeah it’s a very strange argument because we’re all people, it’s not like our interests are completely siloed due to age gaps. This isn’t even just for romance, you are losing out on wonderful friendships if you think you have nothing in common with people much older or younger. At 27 I have several friends in their 40s and we talk about art, music, cars, bikes, cooking, dancing, etc just like I do with friends my age. And I benefit greatly from their perspectives and experience. One friend in his late 40s is helping me buy a car this weekend!
The concern with age gap relationships is exactly what @marzipanandminutiae said, power imbalance. It is, importantly, not a guarantee that a younger person will have less power. My ex was 7 years older than me but I was far more financially stable, mature, confident, and socially supported. What age can be is a proxy for an unethical power imbalance.
Any age gap of more than a few years is worth some self-reflection, but it’s not just relative age, the younger you are the more significant the experience and maturity difference. Clearly I am comfortable with age gaps, at 25 I dated a 32yr old, but reverse the direction of my last relationship—at 27, I would not date a 20yr old. I know how much growth I’ve experienced since I was 20, and the likelihood of a 20yr old not having the maturity, confidence, and financial stability to be on equal footing with me is just too high. At the end of the day, there are plenty of wonderful people my age and older who I can date instead and not have to worry about how ethical or unethical our relationship feels (at least because of our ages).
'all age gaps problematic' people are so wild. "what can a 19 year old and a 28 year even have in common??? what do they talk about??" BITCH THEIR HOBBIES???????
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redr0sewrites · 3 days ago
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Cuddling with Touya is a must during the winter. He's soo warm
-B3an
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🎀A/n: bean. ily. this made me giggle and cackle like a FREAK hes so silly ☹️
🎀Cw: none, just fluff !!!
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you are so sosososoos sooooo right !!! Touya is genuinely so cozy to cuddle with, for a multitude of reasons. i headcanon that his hands and limbs are always really cold, but his chest is really warm, so the best way to warm up is to snuggle close. he also loves putting his cold hands under your shirt to warm them up, and just ends up pressing himself as close to you as possible
because of this, he's pretty clingy !! even when he isn't intending to, Touya always ends up gravitating towards you in search of both body heat and comfort. he's definitely very touch starved and is unused to gentle affection, so it takes him a while to let his guard down. probably very much against touching you early on in any sort of relationship with you, but overtime becomes more inclined to touch as he trusts you more
i wouldnt say he's self conscious per se, but he's definitely aware that his rough scars and piercings may make him a bit uncomfortable to hold. even if he swears it doesn't bother him, please reassure him that you don't mind :( it definitely eases some of his apprehension about touching you
i also think he's simply not used to non-violent physical touch as a concept. Touya grew up with Endeavor as a father, and i just don't think he received enough affection in his childhood or adulthood to be comfortable with it, so it definitely takes some time to adjust. obviously this transfers over into cuddling, so he has a hard time asking to cuddle at first. he will probably just act indifferent about it but in reality he desperately wants you to ask him to cuddle so he can say yes,,,
Touya is one of those people who will say that they're cold, and then physically be warm if that makes sense. like he could be shivering and whining about how he's literally freezing.... but then you touch him and he's burning up!!! as we know from his childhood, his body supports freezing temperatures, and so he's better at handling being cold than warm, but it still pisses him off because he's CONSTANTLY cold !!!!
likes when you play with his hair, it makes him really sleepy
also ??? expect him to absolutely melt if you kiss his scars or praise him when he's feeling vulnerable enough to cuddle. there aren't many times where you can see behind his facade, at least at first, but this is the quickest way to do so. as previously mentioned, he's horrendously starved for affection, and really enjoys your praise
no matter your size, Touya prefers having you lay on top of him. it both allows you to rest against his chest and for him to hold you close, which is optimal for both of you, especially at first when he's still getting the feel of physical touch. it allows him to be in control and feel secure, while also giving you the affection you need as well.
another pro of getting to lay on his chest is listening to his heart beat. especially if its post war Touya, he knows that listening to his heartbeat and knowing that he's still alive and still here is reassuring to you. this also helps him as he gets nightmares or night terrors a lot, and just listening to your breathing and knowing your safe and staying with him helps calm him down.
this is another personal headcanon, but i think once he trusts you enough, Touya would secretly prefer to be the little spoon rather than the big spoon. he really wants to be held, and like i said, likes when you play with his hair, but most of all... neck kisses. he adores them. you press a sweet little kiss to the back of his neck while cuddling?? boom he's yours forever
he does enjoy holding you though, and i feel like he'd tap your body or rub little messages into your skin subconsciously. maybe i'm just projecting my own neurodivergent stims onto him, but i truly think he's also neurodivergent in some way and would be super touchy in the sense that he'd tap out little patterns on your skin, rub his name onto you as he holds you, stuff like that. most of the time he doesn't even realize, he just needs something to do with his hands. definitely rubs your hand with his thumb while holding hands too,,,
huge fan of pda- Touya wants everyone to know that your together. when your cold in public, he literally just slides a hand under your shirt or skirt or anything he can reach, and warms you up with his quirk. to onlookers it looks more risqué then it actually is, but that's the best part in his eyes
Touya isnt a very deep sleeper, he has nightmares and night terrors a lot and overall it takes him a while to fall asleep. when it's chilly out this is especially amplified as he CANNOT sleep when its cold, so he loves sleeping and cuddling with you because A) it warms him up and B) it soothes his anxieties
overall, Touya both loves and hates when your cold. he hates it because he can't stand when your uncomfortable,,, but also loves it because it means he gets to cuddle with you !!!
"why are you so far away?" you grumble, reaching out in search of your lover. Touya lets out a disgruntled whine as an arm snakes around his waist, pulling him up against your body. his tension involuntarily melts as you brush away the small hairs at the base of his neck, before pressing a small kiss to the now exposed skin and watching his ears redden.
"you're so cold... s'too cold. must've pulled away in my sleep. 'sorry babe." he mumbles, and you let out a giggle at his sleepy tone.
"s'ok Touya. y'know, i have to get up soon.."
he immediately perks up, squirming in your grasp until he's facing you, before wrapping is arms around your waist and burying his head in your hair.
"no. it's too cold to even go out."
"Touyaa!"
"stay here. we have to make up for lost time, since i didn't get to lay with you as much.. besides, missing one day of work/school isn't that bad, right?" a scarred hand creeps under your sleep shirt to caress your chilled skin.
"besides," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple as he speaks, "you deserve the rest."
☹️
maybe this is ooc but idc i love him sooo much AND im picturing postwar!Touya so,,,, shh. pls send in more Touya asks. hes so silly.
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