#this is actually the first dc fanfiction I have ever read
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THIS IS GOING ON MY MAIN BECAUSE I JUST HAVE TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT THIS FANFICTION BROKE ME. I'M CURRENTLY VIBRATING. UNABLE TO THINK OR PROCESS ANYTHING. I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY AND NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. LORD ALMIGHTY. @vinelark, YOU HAVE SINGLE HANDEDLY GRIPPED ME INTO THIS PLOT AND I'M THIS CLOSE TO SOBBING AND THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WOULD WHIP OUT A RING FOR YOU AND I'D LEAVE YOU AT THE ALTER AND AND AND
#so#I may have lost it a little bit#and I take accountability for that#but holy shit#this#this this this#I don't think I've reacted to a fanfiction like this#well#EVER#I have been sat here#fully tense for the past ten minutes#rereading the last sentence of chapter five#and fucking LOSING it#I know we have never talked or met or even glanced at each other upon this hellsite#but thank you and I love you and I'm fucking losing it#this is actually the first dc fanfiction I have ever read#and you've made it so very worth it#thank you so much#I don't think I could have had a better experience for the first fanfiction of this fandome#uh#think of this as a love note to you and your fanfiction if you want to#because I truly do love it and your writing#you've got me so hooked in a way I didn't even realise was possible#to the point where I am still writing about it#I will stop now#but I do love it and you#dc#dc universe#tim drake#kon el superboy
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Hello. I know this might sound dramatic, but I want you to know that you probably save my life tonight.
I was having a really bad day. My family doesn't understand me enough to care, and maybe my issue with my family is the reason why I found comfort in Batfam fics. Today, everything just got worse. My father yelled at me for something he didn't even know, I don't know why he even had the audacity to speak when he doesn't even know the matter, and now I can't speak and yell at his face that he's wrong because I am a child and not a parent, I would be considered "disrespectful" if I wanted to speak what is right and true.
I was really begging any Gods at that point to take me. I was thinking of ways to execute myself tonight. I was planning to starve myself tomorrow and ignore today's dinner. I was planning on searching what's "Metoprolol" is because growing up as a kid, I always think that "concern" is a form of love, and maybe if they saw my dead body tonight, maybe they'll cry because they love me. I know this is bad. I know this is inappropriate to say, but when I tried to atleast make myself feel better and decided to read Batfam fics again, I saw your new chapter of From Gold to Mold and it genuinely makes everything better. I didn't want to read Chapter 3 because I saw the comments that you left it with a cliffhanger, and I hate that, and decided to wait for the next chapter instead. Ever since I saw the new chapter, I actually ate dinner, because atleast I know there's still things in this world that makes me happy. When I saw your new chapter, I asked God, "Is this your way of comforting me?", and I want you to know that your work is a form of blessing for me. I started thanking God at that moment, and told myself that I also want to thank you.
I actually don't read Batman comics, or watch Batman. I never read or watch any DC movies before, but Batfam fics is about a family that I will always desire yet never really grasp. I wish for all Batfam authors to live the life they wanted.
I am very sorry for saying this, and straight up said that I was actually considering doing it. I am very aware that this is inappropriate but I really, really, really want to tell you that you save me. I know saying that a "fanfiction" save my life sounds ridiculous, but that's where I found my comfort in, and I would be willing to be ridicule at if it means showing what genuinely makes me happy. I will always love your works even if it means showing my lack of redamancy for my family, or even hatred if I have to admit. This doesn't mean that you are a start of my rebellion. I am only stating that you are a light in my times of darkness.
Thank you.
Wow, ok, wasn’t expecting my work to have such an impact. Good to know.
First of all, I’m glad you’re enjoying the series! When this idea popped into my head, I wasn’t sure if there would be many who’d actually enjoy it. With people like you, I’m inspired to put all that I have into From Gold to Mold! I hope my future work meets and exceeds all your expectations!
Second of all, I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a rough time in your life right now. Since you were brave to share a part of you for all to see, I’ll share something, too. About five years ago, my mother was a major junkie. With that, plus her narcissism, led her to divorcing my stepdad (who brought me out of my shell and made me a better version of myself) and moved us to my grandmother’s house after my grandfather died after battling lung cancer. Living with her was a nightmare, constantly walking around eggshells for fear of pissing her off, her stealing money from my grandmother, and yelling at everyone. She was always riding my ass to get a job just so she could take money from me. Early 2020, she was finally evicted and it’s just my grandmother and I living together.
She’s actually cleaned herself up and we enjoy a decent relationship.
So, while things look horrible and it may take a while, things do get better. I’m rooting for you.
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You. Person. You like. Batman. How does one that exists in a country where comic books r ridiculously unaffordable understand the Batman world enough to read fanfiction of it.
…..i’m going to be so brave and vulnerable with you guys for a second here: i read fanfiction before i read the comics.
do i recommend? not really, however i had the same problem where it was too expensive to buy every single volume i needed to read to get into them, i didn’t have ANY idea of where to start, and i actually stumbled across the fanfiction before i really realized what i was getting into. initially i watched like,,, so many youtube’s on the chronological order of batman comics and very quickly realized there was so much i didn’t even know where to begin. however, now i either read them online through, ahem, illegal means, or i use the DC universe app and just read through the individual volumes! i know i’m going to be the worst batman fan ever when i say this, but since you’re so right and comics are ridiculously expensive and unattainable (seriously tracking down the issue where tim and kon meet for the first time was a pain in my ass), i say just read the fanfiction?? like it’s hella confusing at first, but it’s so worth it because the found family and the tropes are just so good. and a lot of fics are so AU they can be read with no knowledge of the DCU. i’m not saying DONT read the comics, but it can take AWHILE to catch up on all the content of the past like 80 years to understand every character and their story, and personally i was way too impatient to stop reading fics and start reading every comic connected to the batfam. but also, again, i did not realize what i was getting into until i was already hooked and confused as fuck, so maybe take it with a grain of salt :)
but for sure if you’re wanting to read the comics first (good choice, but lots of content and WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU START) i say read that shit online lol. if anyone has an easier way of accessing them, i am begging to hear it, but what i typically do is go to twitter or here and search what i’m looking for (like chronological order of young justice comics, or chronological reading order for tim drake, whatever i’m wanting to find) and then usually people have blessedly compiled a list of all the issues by name and number and i can find them online that way! figuring out where to start and what’s canon and what’s old stuff that they’ve decided doesn’t count anymore is,,,, rough. i still don’t always know what’s going on with what’s new 52 and what’s pre :’)
if you’re just wanting to know enough to get by with reading the fanfics, i say either just jump in and have a sink or swim moment where you just figure out what you don’t know and look it up on fandomwiki, or you can also like watch youtube’s of the characters entire story arcs?? i don’t know if that’s normal but i do that a lot for fandoms lol. i did the full sink or swim where i just completely figured things out through osmosis and was very confused for a BIT. ummm otherwise i’d say read a few comics that are central to the characters and? maybe read some wikis??? depends on how confused you wanna be lmfao
but it’s worth it!!! 100% the vibes are so good and i don’t think i’ve ever consumed more content for a fandom in like ever :D the characters and the tropes and the angst and the found family 🤌 it’s all very good and very worthwhile
#asks#i might not be very qualified to answer this and for SURE am just fucking around and finding out#but i love batman!! so i’m at least that qualified…#anyways do what you want anyone who tells you there’s a right way is wrong :) fuck around and have fun#i’m here for a good time and i’m having it <3#batfam#batman comics#batman
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What are your fav fanfictions?
Who is your OTP?
What's your 3 biggest pet peeves about reading fanfiction?
What is your fav fic that you've written?
What fandom and pairing was your first uploaded story?
What is your most hated and most loved genre to read/write?
Any tips on how a non-writer can write their first fic?
I’m so terrible at recs! My fave ever is “skies of couple colour” by Betty. My fave footy one was a Kylian Mbappe / Hakimi which the author think made private. Sad. But I get not wanting to link yourself to Hakimi.
I have vexed people for what might be decades now (I have dipped in and out of fandoms since far too young now far too old. It’s great. I have a long streak if DGAF) by not having OTP’s. I have characters I like so I’ll try an Anthony Gordon fic and anything with one of my NUFC guys but I’ll try them with whoever. Even in like. Sherlock Holmes fandom I would have read Sherlock with John or Irene or that cop.
Anthony/ Kieran or Frank or DC-L or Bruno G? I’ll believe in anything.
I don’t mind spelling or where you put capitals (if you like capitals) the only think I literally cannot read is wall of text. I beg you: paragraphs.
I am not a fan of women being fridged or some evil harpy that has trapped a man. I also don’t like the “accidentally got her pregnant so now me and my actual love have a baby” but I’ll read anything. ABO? Sure more? Why not. AU? Teeny bit bored of coffee shops.
Of wait anything with young kids when the author has clearly never been around young kids? Pet peeve kids who go to bed and stay asleep.
Mind the warnings but my fave of mine:
A fun one first:
I did fall in love with sexy wolffish Bruno.
Not even losing lasts forever
My first posted story included Marty McSorely. He was an enforcer in ice hockey so like the hard man, literally his job was to fight. And it was my favourite way to write a hard man, good giving and game.
Absolutely wiling to go down, get fucked, fuck someone. The hard man with a core of marshmallow for those he loves? An eternal fave trope.
Fandom is fun and community for me. I don’t read things I don’t like! I just stop. I frown if they are shitty to women but I just close the tab.
I love a rookie/ mentor fic.
I love a hard man taking care of those he loves. I love a twisty threesome where one is on the outside. Porn and yearning.
I genuinely think you should just put it down on paper (as it were, type on the screen). If you are thinking of the story you are already a writer! You already have the hard bit out of the way, so just write the first image that comes to mind and then tell me so I can read it. :)
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2, 3, 7, 9, and 20 for the ask meme 🤠
HIIIII HAVEN <3<3 thank you for the ask!!!!!!
(the ask meme in question)
2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!
i actually have like nothing for this LMAOOO. i do actually regularly read fics or consume content that have headcanons that i'm either meh about or that i outright disagree with because i'm still interested in seeing how they're explored. for me it doesn't really matter if i'm "not sure" about a headcanon--i still wanna see what all the fuss is about. does that make any sense??
3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate
i guess bruce!! before i got into dc stuff my only real exposure to him was like pop culture osmosis and also the lego batman movie. so my reckoning of him was very dark/angsty/brooding emo guy who broods. and all of this is true!! but now hes also a tired and trying single father with an almost comical amount of mental illnesses and when i see him i go whoa!! it's the guy!!
7. your favorite tropes to read/write/draw
well sibling dynamics. first and foremost always and forever. i will also say that my first instinct as a creative is to be funny, which means a lot of my stuff ends up being very goofy (by design). i also do very much enjoy outsider povs and fics where people are having a lot emotionally thorny conversations
9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy
i'm going to say ghostbat, mostly because i know vv little about ghostmaker. but what i do know about ghostmaker makes their dynamic extremely fun!!
20. your very first fandom!
oh boy. literally every answer i could give to this is embarrassing as hell (cringeisdeadcringeisdeadcringeis--) but im prettyyyy sure the first thing i was ever reading and writing (by hand in my little journal) fanfiction for was princess tutu. which is an anime about a ballerina magical girl who is also a duck. theres something about a heartless prince shes in love with and there are a bunch of ravens and cool dance sequences, but i was mostly invested in the emo edge boy who was like stupid in love with her. (fakirxduck5evr)
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Fixation Central
Anyone who follows my blog knows I am auDHD and I fixate extremely fast. I am constantly frothing at the mouth with how much I adore certain fandoms. Most of what I'm into right now is superhero cartoons, but my journey with two of my first ever fandoms: Scooby Doo and Harry Potter.
I've 'left' Harry Potter, but that's because I made my own canon lmao. Or attempted to, at least-
It has long since branched off and my honorary fixations include Gravity Falls, Warrior Cats, PJO, and Doctor Who. And yes, I did also have problematic fixations - let yourself be cringe; if you want to enjoy DSMP, Homestuck, ATLA, or anything in between - do it. I was only part of one of these though. All fandoms have their toxicity, and in the end... make your own fucking canon. Problem solved.
Though, now... it's time to talk about what I like now and the ones I never truly left so without much further ado - let's get on with it!
Read below the cut for the rest!
The Fixations That Just Stayed
Gravity Falls (joined the fandom late, ended up being the creator of multiple original AU's and adored the Pines family dynamics; would've wanted to see something actually used with the Cipher/Zodiac Wheel)
Warrior Cats (never finished the books, unapologetic Firestar fan - first fandom I ever roleplayed and had an OC named Dawnheart of all things)
Doctor Who (adore New Who, loved all companions and thought more could've been done with Martha; huge Riverdoc fan, Donna is my favorite companion - was obsessed with the Pandorica arc for literally no reason; actually enjoyed the Timeless Child reveal)
Scooby Doo (on-off fixation, made up Scooby Doo AU's and crossovers for a lot of my fandoms-)
Current Fixations
Danny Phantom (literally what started my superhero cartoon fixation; adores Everlasting Trio - Sam bashing is irritating I'm ngl, also platonic Badger Cereal is one of my favorite things; has made ghost king and TUE AU's, among other things)
RC9GN (Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja) (never watched it as a kid afaik; huge Randy Cunningham kin, kickstarted my Secret Trio fixation - multishipper for the fandom)
Wordgirl (nostalgia fixation, watched few episodes as a kid but came to love it as an adult; adoptive villains apologist, obsessed with the Rise of Miss Power episodes; Becky Botsford and Tobey McCallister kin, a lot more thoughts but I can't list them all down-)
K-Dramas (kind of picky with them, anything high-drive/action are my favorites; adores Vincenzo and Descendants of the Sun. Taxi Driver was also a fun ride, among others)
AU's and Crossovers Hoard
Secret Trio/Quartet (American Dragon: Jake Long, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja, and Danny Phantom + bonus appearances from Miraculous Ladybug) (massive fixation, currently being worked on as a fanfiction series on Ao3 - post canon/future au timelines, darker depictions than their given canon)
Superwholock and Co (Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock) (original crossover I ever got into; adores crossovers with Merlin)
Mystery Kids (crossover between Coraline, Paranorman, Gravity Falls, and Danny Phantom - as I've never seen/played Psychonauts) (first of the crossovers as well, was a casual fan in the beginning - currently also being worked on as a fanfiction)
Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons (Rise of the Guardians, Brave, Tangled, and How to Train Your Dragon) (the OG, attempted to make an LPS series for it as a kid; adored any plotlines with Pitch Black - the four being New Guardians of the Seasons? chef's kiss)
DP x DC (personal favorite, i like the Vibes)
Personal Hoard
Totally Spies/Glitch Techs (made it up like Right Now; very behind on Glitch Techs but still-)
RC9GN/Wordgirl
C:KND/RC9GN (Codename: Kids Next Door/Randy Cunningham) (original creator; former KND operative Randy Cunningham becomes the Ninja, what could possibly go wrong?)
Project Zero: Heroes United (expanded Secret Trio/Quartet universe) ("Heroes Cinematic Universe" multi-fandom au where superheroes of different cartoons are selected to be an elite team against evil)
Once Upon in Camelot (OUAT/Once Upon a Time and Merlin) (abandoned project, might return to it; crossover/au where BBC! Arthurian cast are reincarnated following the S4 finale - exception being Merlin, shenanigans ensue; post-canon arc, Merthur storyline)
Other projects will be brought up later so if anyone's curious, interact with this post! Likes are appreciated, but comments and reblogs are preferred! Meows.
independent fandom AU's (i.e. Reverse Falls) will not be included within this post! I will be linking that separately!
#masterpost#too many fandoms#hyperfixation#crossover shenanigans#alternate universes#fandoms#fandom woes#project zero: heroes united#secret trio#superwholock#i will not be tagging everything#i am not tagging all of them#how to tag#destiny talks#infodumping#masterlist
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i know that this is such a random question, but...
for the Titans show, do you think all of the cast for the show fit their characters? or do you think there could've been someone else to play their role?
(tbh I love random questions like this omg. I love any chance to discuss Titans at length)
And genuinely, I wouldn't change any of the casting.
It's actually so interesting, because Titans is the first piece of live action DC media that I have gotten really sentimentally attached to. I was always a bigger fan of DC than Marvel because I always enjoyed the Batman films, and I did watch episodes of the Justice League cartoon in passing, or I watched other random animated Batman movies or Justice League movies and really enjoyed them - and I have always enjoyed how DC has so many different styles and tones across each piece of media, rather than the homogeneous boring schlock that Marvel puts out.
Young Justice was the first piece of DC media in general that I got really, really personally attached to, because @nctzenkane is a huge DC fan (and when we first met, it was one of the first things we ever talked about that made me start falling for him) - and he really sparked my interest in certain things and caused me to convert my casual enjoyment of it to a very hardcore nerdom. And him encouragining me to watch Young Justice was definitely the first step in me becoming a full blown DC nerd.
And he also encouraged me to watch Titans - just because Ryan Potter is hot in it - and it's so funny because Jaycen is not even the biggest Titans fan, but I developed such a distinct emotional attachment to it. So in my mind, all of the actors for those characters in Titans - they just are the live action versions. Whenever I am reading fanfiction of those characters, no matter what version the writing is talking about - I always picture the Titans cast in my head.
I know there has been a lot of (idk how to phrase it) controversy? Around Curran Walters as Jason Todd because people think that he's not bulky enough to be Jason and people think he somehow should have shredded and bulked up to become Red Hood?
Honestly, I am fucking relieved that the show didn't pressure him to make major changes to his body just because in the comic books he magically went from a skinny fifteen year old kid to the hulking body of a 6.4" shredded pro wrestler (for those of you who don't know, I have described it as: The Pit makes comic Jason go from looking like Titans Jericho to looking like Titans Hank in five minutes) - like there is already so many gross unrealistic body standards when it comes to men in superhero roles. There doesn't need to be more
And in terms of emotions, and the actual acting, Curran is literally the best fit for Jason possible in my opinion. He brings so much power and depth to Jason's scenes, he makes the character eager and excitable yet worn and jaded at the same time, and he makes Jason's mental illness and struggles so layered and relatable.
One thing about Titans, is that they have some of the most phenomenal actors ever. They might not have the best special effects, or storylines/writing that makes the most sense - but the actors take the material and elevate it so fucking much.
Ryan Potter brought so much depth to Gar (which is something I could rant about for hours), Brenton balances Dick's hardened outer shell and his tender moments so fucking well, Anna makes Kory such a pensive and thoughtful character beyond being just intensely powerful and 'badass' (not to mention, casting a black woman in that role was a risk with whiny fanboys complaining about POC on screen and I am sure she puts up with way too much bullying and hate because of it), and Tegan was so young when she started as Rachel, but she brought an intensity and professionalism that carried Rachel so well (especially during the first season, where her character was the focus) that not many other young actors could have pulled off.
And that is just the core four - I could also go into how Joshua Orpin balances Conner's anger, inner turmoil, and troubled mind with his naive optimism of seeing the world for the first time so well.
And genuinely, I don't think Hawk and Dove could have been played by anyone else than who was cast.
And not only that, but from what we do see of the behind the scenes, it feels like Titans is a true passion project for all of them, and that's why they put so much care into these characters (even if the writers sometimes neglect the details). I think the actors bring so much to the show.
I think possibly my only 'what if' - would have been Tim Drake being an Asian character as originally planned?
And this is absolutely no hate to Jay Lycurgo, I think he did end up being fantastic in the role. He plays the character wonderfully, balancing Tim's bright optimism, gentle fears/insecurities and heroic confidence well.
But I think a visibly Asian character who is clearly connected to their heritage would have been really great to have on screen, and it would have only added to the amazing array of representation in the show. And as far as Asian actors go, I don't know who I would replace him with. (Especially because I think it's interesting when lesser known/up and coming actors play these roles, and all the ones I can think of are popular from other things, or too old to play this role???)
But I do think that it's really cool how he was also in The Batman, so there could be headcanons of him also being Tim Drake in that universe (which I haven't seen anyone mention?)
But overall, I wouldn't change anything fundamental about the cast of Titans. I think they are amazing and I think they did their job so well. They made the show what it truly is for me. They made it close to my heart.
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EXPLAINING KRYPTONITE WITH SUPERGIRL AND POWER GIRL
PART 2
Part 1 here
"I-ahahahaha...." Kara laughed nervously as the Supergirl flouted in the air, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly "So we kinda... well... got a bit over the top there at the end, huh?"
"A bit?!" Karen frowned, the Power Girl resting her hands on her hips "If I described all the shit we did to each other under Black K, the reader's would be reading a fanfiction instead of out informative blog piece!"
"Alright! Alright! I get it!" Kara groaned "Sorry for the wait guys. We had to... well... wait for the Black K to wear off before continuing. And considering how I am with Black K once I'm on it? It is kinda tough to get it all off me and then give me enough time to 'detox'. With earings, a necklace, the nipple piercings, the butt plug, the-"
"I think they get it. I think they get it." Karen groaned "And that's another thing before we go into detail today. Kryptonite's effects are temperoary, but take time to wear off. Longer the exposure, longer it takes to wear off."
"Now, on to the sexy fun!" Supergirl cheered "What's the first Kryptonite today?"
"White Kryptonite." Power Girl commented as she suddenly held up her hand, showing off the glowing white stone
Several members of the audience screamed and hid away
"Oh, don't worry. It's harmelss." Power Girl waved dismissively "But it's also time to clear something up I think wasn't too clear the first time. Only Green K's causes pain of any kind to Kryptonian's they effect."
"Now, as for what White K does." Supergirl continued "It kills plant life. That's... Kinda it. It's bad for plants and bacteria. Superman, our cousin Clark, actually has a White K laser up at the Fortress of Solitude that acts as a sanatiser. Has destroyed multiple parasitic life forms."
"So, arguably, this is the best type of Kryptonite. It is actually useful." Power Girl nodded as she put the white rock away
"Platinum Kryptonite is next." Supergirl said as she held up a near identical rock, only a bit closer to silver in colour "As you can see above, this gives Kryptonian powers. To any humanoid being."
"So humans, Tameranians, Thanagarians, Martians, all of them automatically become as powerful as Kryptonian's." Power Girl nodded ... "Well, Martians where already like that, but there are only so many commonly known DC alien species."
"And yes, fan boys. Give this to Goku, he gets Superman's powers." Supergirl rolled her eyes "So.... What's next?"
"Next is another white/silver Kryptonite.... Silver Kryponite." Karen explained
"And we have no pic for it!" Supergirl called dramatically
"Silver K is exclusive to Smallville and looks just like mercury." Karen sighed, shuddering in fear at the idea of said fear "Even a tiny bit enters the blood steam and it makes Kryptonian super paranoid. To a scary level."
"Indeed." Kara nodded before grinning "You know, I think we are in luck. We haven't had one weird Kryptonite yet."
"Yeah, you're right." Karen realised "And we only have two types left. I wonder what the next one is."
Suddenly a pink glow washed over both heroines, making them gasp out and cover their heads
"Pink K, of course." Kara mumbled as she blushed, looking at Karen... And getting lost in her breasts, unable to look away from her counterparts chest
"Pink Kryptonite... It is a bit of a meme, as some of you may know." Power Girl mumbled as she tried not to look at Supergirl. Mumbling under her breath as she bit her lip, small words like 'why is she so cute?' coming out under her breath "It... It makes Kryptonian's gay."
"Yeah." Supergirl nodded as she tried to look away from the other attractive blonde "Not-Not much has been explored about this. Like how it effects bi Kryptonian's, how 'real' it is, and things like that. It's mostly up to writers interpretation."
"But it only ever appeared as a throw away background joke in one Super Girl comic." Power Girl further explained "At least until it got a.... Revamp in recently years."
"In a-In Justice League Action, a newer Justice League cartoon for kids, it did gender swapping instead. Turning Superman into a Superwoman." Kara laughed nervously "So I guess it depends on what kinks you and your RP partner are into."
"Remember. Always ask before doing such a thing." Karen nodded, blushing "And also remember, suddenly being lesbian or gay doesn't mean you're automatically all over your partner. It changes what-what you're attracted to, not who you are or how horny you are."
"Yeah, what she said." Kara nodded before a second light covered them, a purple glow.....
(the next segment is 18+ only)
"Aaaahh~!" Both moaned, falling to their knees as their juices flowed down their thighs
"If you're-you're here for canon, this is-is where you can get off." Kara panted as she hugged herself, shaking "Bye now. And... And remember, this is an 18+ RP blog so.... Oh fuck~!"
"Our-our final Kryptonite today is.. is Purple Kryptonite. B-Basically an OC type of Kryptonite created by-by this blog's writer." Power Girl moaned, finding it almost impossible to keep her hands off her large breasts as she rubbed her own tits "Mmmm~!"
"Purple K, as-as you've guessed makes-fuck! Horny! Horny! Makes us horny!" Supergirl moaned deeply, a hand under her skirt pumping "This is-isn't real! It is-is made up for this blog! Fuck! Karen! I need!"
"Coming! I'm coming!" The other blonde panted, crawling towards her counterpart. Almost drooling as she approached her
"I-I need to be cumming soon or I'm gonna go insane!" The younger counterpart moaned, her blonde hair flowing around her like a halo as she threw her head back
"You lot..." Power Girl panted "Fuck off! We're gonna be busy!" And with that she pounced, pulling Kara into a deep kiss
The two moaning as they wrapped their arms around each other and began to make out, their hands gliding across each others bodies
And that is it for the Kryptonite Explains two partners. Hope you all enjoyed.
If you want another thing like this, I could do it for Lantern Rings. Or leave suggestes based off my other Muses.
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Green! I've been wanting to ask you this for a few days, but I'm too shy. Today is the day. When did you start shipping Jason with Tim, and what dynamic do you like the most between the two of them? Also, how did you come up with the idea of taking advantage of the YJ series to write about them?
Have a nice week!
Ahhhhh! Oh my goodness, I am SO glad you woke up and decided today was the day! Seeing this message in my inbox gave me all the fuzzies and happy feelings🥺💕! But I also completely get it; there are so many cool people in this space that I want to send asks to, but I am also shy and have yet to. This may be the thing that encourages me to do so!
As for your first question, I actually found out about the JayTim ship in kind of a roundabout way. I've been a DC fan for many years (particularly the animated movies and shows) but never really thought more about the other universe-wide ships than a casual "oh, that's nice" for most of them. But then, a few years ago, I came across a stunning fanart that was actually JayDick (If you can believe it!!), and my thoughts were, "OH! That's nice!!👀" Insert many Google searches later, a foray into Tumblr, and my first experience getting into Fandom spaces, and that's where I found a fanart for JayTim, and let's say my mind just spasmed "ahdfdfdsfsdf," and I was sold.
As for "what" exactly sold me on their dynamic? It's funny because I am not usually an enemies-to-lovers fan (friends-to-lovers is much more my jam). But for Tim and Jason?? It just works. I also am a sucker for angst, and pining, and good old fashion snarky banter. But honestly? I think what really got me was the absolute "ride or die" way that they care about each other when depicted in fandom and even platonically in canon. I know "ride or die" could be applied to a lot of ships, but I think that these two would go to far more extraordinary lengths to protect each other than, say, some other characters (particularly those of whom are hindered by their moral code). Both of these characters are consistently shown to be greyer than not, but just go about it in completely different ways. I've always been more attached to gray characters in fiction, so when there are TWO of them? It's just the chef's kiss. TL;DR They are both just MESSY and yet competent AF and I love it.
But even with my attachment to them, I never considered writing fanfiction! I've only ever written original stories. I don't even know why I didn't consider it because I've loved reading fanfiction since I was as old enough to navigate a computer (a LONG time😅). But suddenly, a little over a year ago, I was re-watching all of Young Justice while simultaneously watching the new season, and BAM! Two very specific scenes came up in my head (One that has already been written about in Part 1 and another that has yet to be shown in Part 2), and I could just Not. Stop. Thinking. About. It. I'm serious. Those two scenes kept me awake at night, the brain rot was all consuming, and I got that feeling that all writers have felt a time or two where if they didn't jot it down in that moment, they'd just implode!!
So, of course my totally normal person response was to immediately sign up for AO3, outline an entire ~40-chapter story around those two scenes right down to the nitty-gritty details, and start uploading.
100K words later and here we are! The rest was history!!! I know this is probably WAY longer than you ever anticipated 🤣 but THANK YOU for asking me! I hope I didn't scare you away with the essay. I have just loved these characters, the JayTim fandom, and my first experience writing fanfiction so much, and all it takes is a little question for me to go on a gush about it!!
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Ok @quodekash thanks for the tag(!!!) but I just have to open a new chain this thing is lagging as hell😅
1. Are you named after anyone?
Well my second name is the female version of my grandpa's name while the first one is "original". But, my first name is way cuter and I usually use that one. (I will actually kill you if you ever use my second name)
2. When was the last time you cried?
A couple of days ago actually, during my therapy appointment. It was the first time I've ever cried there🤔
3. Do you have kids?
Objectivively? No
Figuratively? YES.
4. What sports do you have/have you played?
I did some dance classes when I was a kid and I took on swimming for like six months.
5. Do you use sarcasm?
I'm more of a Passive Agressive type of person. My best friend says that I'm a Bad Person trying not to show it but who still wants to be a bitch about things.
6. What's the first thing you notice about someone?
I don't know??? I do the usual fruity assasment but yeah...
7. Eye colour?
Grey.
8. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?
Happy endings. I want Hurt/Comfort - Angst with a Happy Ending showed down my throught
9. Any talents?
... I don't know? I don't know if the things I can do can be considered talents...
(self love wooho)
10. Where were you born?
In a hospital somewhere on earth
11. Do you have any hobbies?
Maaan this is gonna be long:
Reading books, comics, webcomics, mangas and fanfictions.
I like tv series, cartoons and Bls.
Obviously films.
ANIMEEEESSS.
Animated movies are YES.
Choice based videogames. Like DBH or LIS.
I like the LEGO stuff!
Marvel. Just MARVEL! And some DC too.
Writing and translating (yes as a hobby).
THE SIMS.
MUSICALS.
Recently I started making lists and playlists (they are SO good for stress).
Listening to music of course.
Watching Youtube.
Scrolling endlesslu trough Tumblr.
12. Do you have any pets?
I have a dog, his name is Holly and when he's not ignoring me he is veeeeery cute.
13. How tall are you?
1,68 (I do NOT intend to use the Feet Sistem, you uncultured vikings)
14. Favourite Subject in school?
✨ENGLISH✨
15. Dream Job?
I want to translate books.
Npts: @emozionidinchiostro @fenoy7 @waitupimalittleslow183 @saladbroth @artemis-skadi-morrigan @dark-sky-official
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Sanvers fans know her from her amazing contributions of art and fic to the Big Bang, but @morganastorm24 is also a multi-talented writer and artist for multiple ships in the DC universe. She also has love of everything Lois Lane. In honor of the Planet's star reporter, we've asked her to share a glimpse into her writing process. Thanks, Morgana!
Tell us a little about yourself. How did you get started writing fic? Have you written for other fandoms? What are your favorite tropes?
I've been writing for as long as I can remember - even longer according to my mum. I've always loved creating stories and would sit with my teddies and toy horses, reading them stories (even before I could read, because that's what pictures are for, right? Telling a thousand words and all that). For my 6th or 7th birthday, I apparently asked for a "really nice writing set and an even nicer book to write in". I was given a ring binder with plastic pockets, a notebook and a pencil case full of stationery. I still have that ring binder to this day, though it's not filled with all my random childish scribbles like it once was.
I started writing fanfiction not long after Star Wars: Attack of the Clones came out. That's the earliest fanfic I can remember writing, anyway. I wrote Anakin and Padme's adventures after they got married, and then when rumours started flying about what was going to happen in Episode 3, I wrote my very first "fix it fic" by finding a way to keep Padme alive (as I couldn't bear the thought of my favourite character dying). Most of those very early fics never left the pages of the notebooks they were scrawled in and nobody else ever saw them (thank god!), but it wasn't until I started reading fanfiction online that I realised I could actually do that too - share my ideas with the world. I dabbled a little in fanfic for the tv show Casualty (a British medical drama), had more success with Doctor Who, wrote some more Star Wars, then Merlin and eventually (and most recently) Supergirl (with a dash of other DC).
What were your inspirations for this particular story? What was it about this/these ships that grabbed you?
This fic was born of a single image - namely Chyler first revealing that she was going to wear a black and blue super suit and become Supergirl for one episode. That image alone was enough to get my mind racing with possibilities and ideas of how it might come to pass. I have to be honest and say I stopped watching the show after the Crisis stuff, so I've never actually seen her episode as Supergirl, but maybe that's a good thing? At least this way I know that my version of her is different and unique.
I am and always will be a huge Sanvers stan, but there's something so appealing about AgentCorp as well, and the show really dropped the ball when they wouldn't let Alex and Lena be together. They're an interesting and dynamic pairing - they share interests, are both huge science nerds and yet so completely different that its great fun writing them both together.
As for Lois and Kara - that one literally came out of nowhere and took me by surprise. I'd never intended for it to happen, and yet now that it has, I'm wondering why I never thought of it sooner!
Has the time spent away from your story changed your outlook or approach to any of the storylines or themes? Have you had any new inspirations or breakthroughs/revelations in the meantime?
Absolutely. I got to a point with the fic where it had grown stale, and I was constantly hitting up against a wall with no idea how to get around it, or to power through it. So, I walked away from the fic and decided to focus on other WIPs and new creations instead. Coming back to it now, I've been able to see everything with fresh eyes, and I can see not only where I was going wrong before, but also a way to fix it. Changing the villain, adding characters, getting rid of redundant plot threads and adding more relevant pieces has really helped to get this work to a place where finally, I can see the finish line and I know I'm going to make it. That's a huge relief, considering where I was 2 years ago when I first started writing it.
Any advice for new or aspiring fic writers?
Never give up. No matter how hard it might be, just put words on a page. It doesn't matter how rubbish they are, as my BFF always says, "You can't edit a blank page." Let yourself suck, let yourself write horrendously. It's all good practice. Even if those words never leave your notebook or the document on your computer, they've taught you something, they've helped you to improve, so be proud of them.
Writing is also a bit like a painting. Not even Da Vinci or Van Gogh sat at his easel and created a masterpiece on his first try. There's the initial sketches to plan out the idea. That's your plot or summary. Then you add basic blocks of colours. That's your first draft. From then on, you work away slowly, adding details, shading, contouring...those are your second, third, fourth drafts. Keep revising and editing as much as you need - there's no right or wrong number of times you should be doing it. Because each time you do, you're adding more detail to your masterpiece. And what you end up with is a work of art.
One final piece of advice... writing is not a solo event. All those times a writer is depicted sitting along, tapping away at a keyboard or scribbling in a notebook, it's so misleading. Get yourself a writing buddy. DKGwrites and I are best friends, we met through fanfiction (and I'm eternally grateful for that everyday). We have regular writing sessions together, and ok it's 90% messing around, distracting one another, talking utter nonsense or throwing random videos and links to each other, but that 10% when we do actually behave and get down to the task at hand, it's so much more fun writing together than it ever is when we try to write alone. Silliness aside, we help one another, bounce ideas off one another, motivate and encourage one another, and it's the best thing ever. So find yourself a writing buddy, and have a blast!
If you were going to promote this fic with a single line, what would it be?
What if Supergirl was a badass redhead called Alex Danvers?
We'll have more about her artwork in the coming weeks, but in the meantime, check out her work on A03!
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I like writing and reading fanfiction cause frankly sometimes media is lightning in a bottle good when it’s long running.
Like idw transformers, I still need to start reading the current comics but I doubt if anything can really capture how much my brain latched onto it. Like even if the writing is objectively better in the current iteration, I do wonder if it’ll peak my interest the way idw transformers did.
Like with large media franchises, it really is me picking and choosing what I really like.
With dc comics I love all the cartoons. Some of the animated movies, none of the live action movies and none of the tv shows. But I still like the characters. So like fanfics can sorta capture what I’m looking for in a certain iteration of a character.
But also it kinda has to have this sense of imperfection or desire for more to make me actually search for fan works. Cause like I love you idw transformers but the ending was rushed/also the ending was open ended with one of the cut panels saying “over to you” instead of “the end” to signify that the fans could do what they wanted now with the lost light in the new universe. And like ever after high, I love it but it’s like objectively a bunch of interesting half baked ideas that just got cancelled out of nowhere.
Something tight and clean and satisfying like gravity falls for me does not make me desire to read fanfics. Like maybe a short fancomic n what not but I feel the story had a satisfying beginning middle n end so I feel like I can move on fully satisfied.
So there is something so nice about satisfying media. I think Hilda is also super satisfying, it got a bunch of seasons, a movie and got a finale that didn’t feel rushed. But also, there’s something so fun about being ravenous for more, for being not satisfied and looking for places to become satisfied.
First Aid will never be the main character for more than a chapter or episode. But hey, there were like almost one hundred fics I read where he was the main character. And plenty more if I wanted to read smut but I do not so almost one hundred first aid fics for me.
Like the reason why I’ve been so into Damian Wayne and Jonathan Kent stories is that the movie that featured both of them was good but also too short and doesn’t have a sequel. It planted the seeds that its short run time didn’t allow to fully grow.
Or similarly, I’ve heard that dc comics kinda aged up Jonathan to move him into a different comic series away from the super sons series but Damian is still a kid to keep with Batman continuity and it sounds convoluted and confusing and it sounds like the relationship of Damian and Jon was kinda thrown away to have Jon be an adult now because of space shenanigans. So people have been writing under the tag of “naturally aged Jon Kent” to have Damian and Jon grow up together.
But yeah side rant off of this side rant, even though I’ve never read the comics, a part of me definitely wonders if there is room for multiple different continuities to exist at the same time. But also I think crisis on infinite earth’s literally existed to merge all the ips into one universe and it’s cool and all but it does sorta create those odd situations where a character is thought to be better in a different series so they figure out a way for the character to leave the storyline of the current comic series they are a part of so they can go to a different one. Which is from my understanding what Superboy did by going from super sons to like legion of superheroes or something ?? I don’t know. I don’t read the comics.
Anyways so while I do really love shared universes, I do kinda like it when they have little to no impact on each other so they can stay in their lanes. Cause sometimes it really does feel like a crossover more than an integrated universe. And I don’t really like crossovers all that much. Thought I appreciate the creativity. I do filter out crossovers in ao3 HAHAHAH but that’s mainly cause in crossovers I usually have only interacted with one of the medias.
Like one time I wanted to find any fix it fics or extended fics on that movie Epic that came out in the 2010’s and like I found maybe three that fit my very strict filters hahahahahahha. A lot of the fics that used epic was crossover as I think it was lumped into Brave, how to train your dragon, and Frozen, rise of the guardians crossover stuff. Which I’m not a big fan of.
Anyways this post has ran wildly out of control.
The best kind of post.
But yeah love it when things hit the sweet spot of either, “so good that I desperately need more” (Baulder’s Gate 3, IDW transformers), and/or “I love this media with all my heart but I don’t think they did enough with it/it got cancelled/felt like it had a rushed conclusion” (IDW transformers, Damian Wayne and Jon Kent, Ever After High).
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Stuff where I am in that spectrum:
Canon I have never watched/read:
I used to read Supernatural fic before an '"all normal humans" Dean kidnapped Castiel and half convinced him they were soulmates due to an angelic presence via Stockholm Syndrome and some extreme duress non-con' fic made me decide the fandom was too dark for me.
I had a period of time where I was really into the Hannibal fandom, that was when I was really into the whole murderhusbands thing, and apparently so was everyone who'd actually watched the show.
When I first got into omegaverse, I read alot of Teen Wolf fanfics, because I didn't know where else to look for it and that was what popped up the most. The pairing I was into doesn't seem to popular amongst the omegaverse writers in that fandom anymore so I don't really read in that fandom when I'm wanting to read omegaverse anymore.
Had a bunch of stuff where the fanfiction has made me curious about the canon but in the end decided I wasn't interested in canon enough to keep on with it:
I read alot of HP crossovers and then read a bunch of HP fanfictio so I ended up reading the first 2 and 1/2 books of the HP series before giving up and deciding I didn't like JKR's writing because disappointingly her fans wrote better than she did. I do avoid the HP fandom now because it's gotten so toxic but it had some really talented writers.
I tried to watch Lazytown after the "We Are Number One" song and the outpouring of love for the actor who played Robbie Rotten got me curious about the show and that somehow ended with me reading fanfiction that got me fully on the Robbie Rotten is fae train, I never actually watched more than 2 episodes, possibly because I am very much not the target age group.
I have never played Final Fantasy of any version, evne though it all looks extraordinarily gorgeous but I really really enjoy the Sephiroth redemption via someone else's time travel fics. AimeeLouWrites and She_Sees_In_the_dark are particular fav authors of mine there.
I watched one episode of Miraculous Ladybug because I read some really good fics of Adrien running away or otherwise dealing with the drama of who Hawkmoth was. That was before someone named Luka and sentimonsters were introduced. Couldn't really get into the show though. [I'm pretty sure DPxML or DCxML crossovers were to blame for my interest in that fandom]
Stuff I don't exactly know where to put:
So I used to read alot of MCU fanfics, especially when the Avengers as a found family in the Avengers tower was a popular fic, and then a little bit when the Exvengers trope became popular, buuut I've only actually watched Iron Man, the first few minutes of Thor, and an Incredible Hulk movie that I'm not sure if it's the one canon to the MCU canon or not [also the X-men 1,2, and 3 but I don't really count those as being the same]. I can't remember if I watched Iron Man 2 or not. I always meant to get around to watching the MCU movies but never actually did. Now if I did, it'd probably be the Black Panther movies or the Spiderman ones[I'm honestly thinking about watching the one with all three Spiderman's in it despite having only ever watched the Tobey Maguire spiderman movies. I think it'd be an interesting way to watch it, since I only know a little about the other two.]
I read some DC fanfiction, I try to stick to the JLU/BTA/BB fics since those are the shows I've actually watched but there's so much bleed through of the canons I know I've read fic for the other canons.
pretty sure there's more but those are the ones I think of off the top of my head,
OH! I read the entire first 25{? 20 something} volumes of the New 52 Flash comics solely because nirejseki wrote this incredibly awesome fanfic of Captain Cold and the Flash becoming friends while Barry's civilian identity had been accused of murder or being dead? I forget which, that was a few years ago.
i think my next adventure will be to join a fandom without ever watching the source material. i will participate in discourse and pretend that i know what’s going on but in reality i am a fraudulent faker poser bitch. i think this is the direction my character development has to take
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bluepulse is interesting in that it is probably the first thing I can ever recall genuinely shipping. I watched yja when I was like, fucking 9, and I did it with my older cousins who were all very casual dc fans in that way every relatively nerdy person born before 2000 is. anyway, they were all HUGE into birdflash. it was like 90% of the way they engaged with the show. and they introduced me to the concept of fanfiction through birdflash. the first fanfiction I ever read was birdflash fic. My entire introduction to the dc canon was dick and wally having ambiguously underage sex on ffnet. I don’t tend to say this I tend to say my introduction to fandom was naruto, because it’s the first time I remember understanding fandom, but no, I was actually reading birdflash fanfiction before I was in double digits. Anyway. I actually didn’t like birdflash all that much. I just, like, didn’t really care? I really liked wally but I wasn’t a huge dick fan. Umm so when we watched season 2 I completely lost my fucking marbles. It was all over the moment jaime started talking crazy to himself. Anyway when bart showed up I thought he was fucking annoying. A big gripe I had about s2 when I was 9 was that wally wasn’t in it and I was sooo pissed this little wally knockoff showed up and started being annoying because only WALLY was meant to be annoying <3. When wally was mean to him I was like YES. GET HIM. but all of that was right up until the exact moment the end of the episode played and bartholemew henry allen ii reveals that he was lying the entire time. It did something to me. It changed me forever I think. It was probably the first time my underdeveloped baby brain had ever fucking seen a fictional character on the “good” side LIE. my best friend at the time was a pathological liar. If that means anything. Coincidentally said pathological liar just didn’t like bart very much :/ anyway void come read some more birdflash this one is so good I swear. eventually I got annoyed about this and started searching out bluepulse fic instead. I liked bluepulse because jaime was insane but against his will and bart was insane but completely by choice. The weird thing about all of this though. Is that I have a really REALLY clear memory of the 1 million birdflash fics I read and absolutely 0 memory of any of the bluepulse fan content I know I was consuming. I was in the google images trenches (I didnt know what tumblr was yet, give me like 6 months and it was over). I can recall the title and author of a fic where wally calls himself “dick-sexual” but not a single bit of the bluepulse insanity I was on. I know it exists. I was doing something. But what? Who is to say. Who is to say. Certainly not me. Anyway and then I watched naruto
#I had a very dramatic falling out with bp in my head when I was like 12 and started getting into anti vs pro shipping debates on tumblr#and I was like :( a 3 year age gap is simply too much… goodbye jaime and Bart forever 💔💔💔#and then when I was like 15 I got into comics#and came to realize neither of these characters ever spoke to each other before 2012#and now#I think that they would have the craziest most toxic friendship ever#and that’s the beauty of getting older
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i saw your name, for the first time in four years today. it wasn’t even really your name, but your social media handle. i woke up to it in my inbox; you reblogged one of my posts.
i have to admit something. i had forgotten we were mutals, and i had, quite frankly, never expected to see you again, in any capacity.
actually, i have to admit to something else - i didn’t attend new york pride for awhile because i was terrified i would run into you, and frankly, i don’t know how i would have handled it. i went once, with a group of your friends, and the following year, your girlfriend texted me to ask where i was, and the truth of the matter is that we had never talked about it. we never talked about it, and i wasn’t going to travel two hours to a place i wasn’t sure i was wanted, so i didn’t go. i attended pride events closer to home, and remembered you once a year when i thought about new york, and chose philadelphia instead, except this year, where a bunch of fellow researchers and i descended upon dc, and for one, glorious pride, i didn’t think about my first.
you became a ghost in my world, a string of text messages about cats where we last spoke, a string about student loans where we didn’t, and several months later, finally. a single message from the start of the pandemic, asking you to stay healthy. we hadn’t spoken in five months, but i still wanted you to be okay.
i don’t know if you’ll ever see this post. i don’t know if you’ll read it, if you’ll recognize yourself or me in my words. i don’t know that i care. because here’s the thing.
we were friends. and then we weren’t. you were the driving force behind my single most popular fanfiction on ao3, it still gets hits, and comments, and kudos. it shows up in rec lists, which always astounds me, because it was originally just a line of crack texts we sent each other. a joke that i put out into the world. you took me to my first pride event, my first con. we met in philadelphia, once. we were going to go to the art museum, and instead i spent half the night driving around the city.
we were friends, and then we weren’t, and i, with the exception of my refusal to go to new york, moved on. i wrote other things, i still do (little drabbles of things, but there’s a document saved that’s professional. i started it last year, and it’s nonfiction, but it’s my baby). i got a girlfriend, and lost her because we fell out of love (we still talk, still laugh. we fell out of love, not out of like, and i’m delighted she found someone new, and equally delighted that i’m friends with both of them). my roving band of researchers have also gone to comicon (we haven’t cosplayed yet, but there’s talk in the groupchat, and either way, i’ve got fabric and a plan). i go to museums on the regular, i take a different friend every time, and we always have a blast.
somewhere in between you vanishing and today, i fell back in love with life. i got passionate about things, i started exploring again. i remembered the things that i loved before i got depressed, and i got better. life got better, even as the world goes to shit.
and i want you to know, if you see this, that you don’t have to reach back out. this isn’t meant to be a guilt trip, but rather, a treatise on how sometimes people touch our lives in interesting ways, and how sometimes, they intersect again for brief moments that make us think about the person we used to be and the person we are now. so yeah, you’re welcome to pop back in. i won’t turn you away if you do. but if you don’t, that’s alright. we’ve drifted apart, and that’s something that happens. regardless of what you do, i just want you to know that i hope you’re having a great life. i hope you’re doing what you love, i hope that you’re in love, i hope that you’re happy. because i don’t think we’re friends now. but we were, once.
#sometimes people drift apart#and that’s more than okay#sometimes people vanish for no apparent reason#and that can hurt#but it’s okay to move on#even if we still remember#i won’t tag anyone in this post#that’s unfair to the person this is about#particularly since i don’t actually want them to feel pressured into anything#a treatise on how we lose people sometimes#and how sometimes we still care anyway#you are the reason dick grayson is a lanyard makig savant#so thank you for that at least#anyway#i hope that life treats you well
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There are four open files on my laptop
Why am I telling you all this?
Because I need to motivate myself. Thank you Matt for the self doubt you instilled in me when I was six.
But enough of that asshole that I called my grandfather, on to the files!
The first file is a running brain dump. On it is everything from Fanfiction ideas (yeah I write fanfiction, it's been a hobby for the last thirty years. Do I make money off it? No. Will I ever publish one of them for money? No.), novel ideas, podcast ideas, and sketch ideas for TikTok and YT sketches. This running list is updated as I think up ideas, luckily I can have it on my laptop and on my phone for easy general ideas brain dumping. And yeah, that file will NEVER be seen by others, it's written in my own short hand so yeah, it's kept as safe as I feel keeping it.
The second file is the podcast I've been working on for a while. I want the script to actually feel natural before I start recording that crazy adventure (And there might be a book series with that too if only so I can fill in details that I can't do in an auditorial form). This stays on my laptop, though while I'm at work I toy with ideas in my work notebook when I can get some time between clients.
The third is the fanfic I'm currently editing (I have been playing in DC's multiverse a bit, and the fic really needs some work even though it's unfinished). This gets toyed with when I'm stuck on other projects so it may be in it's current state for a while yet.
The last file, is the novel I'm toying with, which I started writing, honestly when I was about 8. Though it's gone through a LOT of revisions. Currently I've changed the main character about twenty times, though now I think I'm actually happy with how it's going. Hell, I started writing it before I knew what Urban fantasy is, and it's a pinch of that, mixed with some sci-fi and well, I'm still debating how I want to publish it. Self publishing has some perks, though also has a lot of pitfalls. Why is it still open on my laptop? Because it's the project that I am still trying to use to find my true voice.
Which brings me back to Matt and the words he said to a six year old Nick. On Christmas if you can believe it. My brother and I were told to go help him and Ma (my Mom's step-mother) bring the Christmas presents from their house (which was three driveways down from ours) to ours. It was a yearly tradition for about ten years, but that year... that's when I realized Mom's side of the family was toxic. My brother had gone ahead with the orange sled filled with the brightly wrapped packages, our dog Wolf was padding along beside him, enjoying the snow. Ma stayed back at their cabin to bake pies for the yearly gathering, so I was walking with my grandfather.
Someone who I always thought should be supportive of their kids and grandkids. Maybe I was a little jealous of what my cousins on my Dad's side got with being so close to his dad for the holidays (Grandpa would bake, Grams would make candy and they had a FARM! I mean really what little kid doesn't want to be on a farm? Other than farmer's kids), instead, I had Matt.
He hated anyone with an education higher than third grade, and hated anyone who read books. Mind you as a kid, I always had my nose in a book. It was the first thing I packed when going on a camping trip (Yeah I'm one of those campers that will take two pairs of jeans and about four shirts and pairs of socks. The rest of my camping bag has a book, and various snacks.) and he thought it was a waste of time. Though when he and Ma babysat us for the weekend all they wanted to do was listen to talk radio (my hate of right wing media may have started then honestly) and ignore us. So, as a baby GenXer, I had to pretty much raise myself, and make sure my 2 year younger Millennial baby brother (mind you I'm introvert while I swear my brother can be dropped in the middle of NYC in rush hour and walk away with twenty friends in five minutes. I'm not talking acquaintances, but life long friends of varied cultures. Yeah, I might envy him a little.)
I'm distracting myself sorry.
So, on this walk, which only took us about three to five minutes to do the round trip, Matt asked the dreaded question.
"What do you plan on doing with your life?"
I was six, and he knew before break we had been asked that by our teacher, and my class's homework over the break was to write a paragraph (A whole hundred words!) on the subject. So I guess he was expecting me to answer something like taking over his business (they ran a ceramics shop in the local tourist trap) and being a loyal housewife. Or some boring shit like that, though really the ceramics would have been fun to learn... ANYWAY
What came out of my mouth was -
"I want to be a writer like Daddy, or a cop."
Matt was silent for a few moments as we walked, I thought that I had said something wrong, but Dad had always told me that I have the potential to do whatever I wanted. He never treated me any different than my little brother (for the most part. Boo got to go on the yearly fishing trips before I did. Even though I begged Dad to let me go.). Though as we neared the driveway, Matt finally spoke up.
"You'll never be good at either. Those are jobs for men"
That's exactly what he told me, I was six years old, it was Christmas of 1985, and I'm standing in the middle of a gravel street, on the packed snow in white sorel boots, a cream colored snow suit with a pink knit scarf and hat, my hands in pink and red mittens stuffed into my pockets, unsure if I wanted to run ahead of him, or sit on the street and cry.
Of course, I let him walk ahead of me, slowing down so I could compose myself. I wasn't going to let his words ruin Christmas for the family. So, yeah I stuffed it down.
So that fourth file... Is all my emotions, my thoughts, my two (thankfully) failed suicide attempts, and all the other horrible memories being used to build the spite fire that fuels that book. It is a passion project, and a Fuck you to Matt, for telling me I was worthless and causing the school to think the childhood depression I fell into, was saying I wasn't mentally ready to go onto the second grade. It's the anger I felt later in life when Matt kicked his own daughter, my Aunt K, out of his house when he was dying, because she was a lesbian, (Which is another story that I might tell later), but the two of us spent the day together while the bastard was lying dying.
Hell I lied through my words when I wrote something to be read at his funeral which ended up being on my fourteenth birthday. I wrote what they wanted to hear, and refused to go to the funeral and the wake. Even though my mother and Ma wanted me there.
Only time I will go to where his ashes are scattered, will be when I have the ashes of that book, published, and in my hand. I will make sure that I can make a pit stop in the book tour being that town, just so I can go back into the woods and scatter the ashes of the book with him, screaming at the top of my lungs "Fuck you asshole, you fueled this, and spite has made me into something!"
So yeah, that file, I want to be the best work I can actually create before I publish it. Something worthy of being a Fuck You to the man that should have encouraged me with kindness instead of encouraging me with spite and anger.
And yes, I realize I should probably go to a therapist for all my childhood trauma, but you know what, I think right now, keeping that anger, at least until the book is done, is actually helping me more than a therapist can.
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