#i think i’ll grow out of it
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chloesimaginationthings · 2 months ago
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I love Michael Afton's story in FNAF..
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time-was-over · 2 years ago
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i think i’m losing it (vent in the tags el oh el)
#orion.shut#i can’t tell if what happened today happened yesterday and it goes by so fast but i can’t stop to think and when i do i cant remember#i can’t remember if what happened this morning happened last week or if something that i think happened last year actually happened when i#was ten i can’t even begin to understand what happened to me to make me like this#i can’t remember how long this has been happeninng to me i can’t remember when i was 8#i think i’ll grow out of it#i’m just a kid its gonna be fine#whenever my parents make me go to church they quiz me on the homily afterwards as if i was paying attention#but when i do pay attention i forget and when i try to remember i can only remember kneeling on cheap wooden kneelers and not being able to#see through the incense or the migraine that i wake up with that i carry with me#and then they ask me if i’m losing my faith because i didn’t remember and i say ‘no’ but i’m lying#i lost faith when i was 12#when i realized that if god existed it should be sorry#for standing idly by with the claims that it loves us while threatening eternal torture in a fantasy nightmare realm#i couldn’t put it into words then but i realized that i had been conditioned to recognize guilt where it didn’t exist#shame that was based in a fundamental flaw in a creation myth#and it was a powerful cycle that i still struggle with#and i had to keep my mouth shut because everyone around me was an enemy after that#i only came out when i thought i was bi to one person (they were my crush)#and i was scared#and i came out to like one other friend after that#and i was scared because i thought my mom was gonna find me out or find my friends out because of me#and i’m still scared#it won’t be long until they can kick me out if they find out#i’m so fucking tired#ive relapsed so many times over the past year#i’ve never felt so fucking alone#i miss things that i can’t remember#i still feel the carpet underneath my back and the pressure on my body#why can i remember the feeling so fucking vividly even it happened over a decade ago but i can’t remember what happened yesterday
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turtleblogatlast · 9 months ago
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Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rise donnie#rise leo#rise mikey#rise raph#donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well#same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident#anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol#Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family#Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them#leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust#I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha#turtle art tag#curious as to what everyone else headcanons#the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo#all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now#I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them#went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭#ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun#my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT#note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum#if that makes sense#headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas#I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd#I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh#and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter#Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic#I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 6 months ago
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See, I think Charles’ annoyance and frustration with the Cat King really was just pure protectiveness and not any kind of jealousy - it’s understandable, because Edwin is not telling him what happened even though something clearly did, which is not typical for them. Edwin doesn’t usually hide things like this! Of course he’s worried!
Charles’ reaction to Monty, on the other hand, is difficult to explain in a way that isn’t jealousy. You could say he’s being protective again, but Charles shows no sign of distrust in Monty, and had no idea of who Monty was or that he might betray them - he was actually very chill with him, except in a select few specific scenes. You could say he just doesn’t like him because he got brushed off during their first meeting, but not only does that not seem like Charles at all, it also doesn’t make sense, since, again, in most instances, Charles is genuinely friendly and is happy when Monty compliments him and seems to have come around to liking him (it completely flies over his head that this is a petty jab at Edwin on Monty’s part but oh well hahaha). You could say it changes up their status quo a bit and that bothers Charles. I do think this bothers him a bit, but I think, unlike Edwin, Charles’ fear and frustration here is directed more at situations (the Cat King whisking him away for several hours, as an example) than others. He’s sociable and likes being able to talk to new people. There’s absolutely no way he’d begrudge Edwin doing the same - and he doesn’t… with Niko. Edwin and Niko hit it off and become very close and that never bothers Charles at all. He’s incredibly endeared to her, just like the rest, and for the most part, he’s chill with Monty too, and smiles pretty knowingly when Edwin confesses to him having awakened some feelings. The only exceptions, where he shows definite annoyance, are when Monty first shows up and gets really in Edwin’s personal space to show him the astrology chart he made, and when Edwin is so sucked into the book Monty gave him that he doesn’t hear that Charles is talking to him, to which he annoyedly says that they seem to have been “spending a lot of time together”.
You could say he’s unused to having anyone get in Edwin’s personal space like that, but, again, Niko. She’s very tactile with him and he doesn’t seem to mind all that much; they spend time together watching things. If it was just someone getting close with Edwin in general, not only would that be weirdly possessive for the character, but it would also mean he would show discomfort with anyone getting close, I think. Does Charles see Monty as more of a potential threat than Niko, seeing as he knows her and her personality and doesn’t know Monty? Well, maybe, but again, Charles shows no sign of distrusting Monty at all.
Monty is a boy. Okay. So something about seeing Edwin so close to a boy that is not him, getting lost in thought over something this boy gave him, really rubs Charles the wrong way. Charles appears to catch on just as quickly as anyone else that there is something (or it looks like something) between Edwin and Monty. He is not surprised when Edwin comes out to him in episode 6, and in fact, seems to have just been waiting for him to verbalize it. He smiles and is not bothered at all by Edwin showing (what he thinks is) a romantic interest in Monty - he just doesn’t like it when Monty clearly shows a romantic interest in Edwin. Um. Well. Well.
Charles is jealous. I really don’t know what else to say.
Look, when I first watched this show, I actually didn’t want them to end up together romantically - I love the idea of one having fallen in love with another who does not reciprocate and the two of them still loving each other just as much. That Edwin’s confession made them closer instead of making things awkward is such a beautiful outcome to this build up and I absolutely love it. However. On my two rewatches, I caught a lot more little details, and I think it would be very strange if the show did not follow up on this. That, plus the deliberate quality of these “jealousy” moments where the camera focuses on him, Charles’ Orpheus coding throughout the show, the fact that Edwin’s arc was far more about realizing his feelings for Charles specifically than just coming to terms with his sexuality, and that even the actors admit that Charles’ response to the confession kind of left things open, it really seems to me like the path leads to a romantic endgame for them, or at the very least, that this possibility will be explored in more depth.
**This is just my reading of it. Please do not use this post as a gotcha for anyone who loves them as a platonic duo or people who really love Crystal and Charles together (because let’s face it, they’re super cute too). I’m just doing my rambles. As per usual.
#listen this got really long and I’m sorry but I wanted to be sure I covered all my bases because#I flat out hate the old argument of ‘it (romance) is the only possible explanation!’ with regards to strong bonds#because it so often invalidates strong platonic expressions of love#but… *gestures above*#they’re going to need to address this at some point I think#I really hope though that if the relationship becomes more romantic#that this does not happen in season 2 but in season 3 or something#make it a good build and emphasize the importance of their existing platonic bond#I want their bond to continue to change and grow closer via their friendship first before evolving into romantic tension :)#(also I have faith in these writers but I’ll always be worried about what happens to Crystal with all this. pls don’t cast her aside…)#the smart thing would be to have Crystal have more of the main plot action and Charles more of the feelings arc#for season 2. that’s what I’m hoping#not just any romance or jealousy for Charles but also feelings around his family and dad and his wants and fears and all that#storyrambles#this got away from me again haha#should I use my analysis tag? does this count??? …I’m using it. ->#call me ace detective the way I am ace. and also a detective.#dead boy detectives#I also love the idea of a canon gay couple in an overall queer narrative because that’s beautiful#please I want it to happen#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#dbda meta#dbda spoilers
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ozzo-the-wozzo · 6 months ago
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I need to you guys to stay with me and imagine Adrien Agreste experimenting with what to wear after he quits modeling but being hopelessly lost on where to start so, after much consideration, he gets the brilliant idea to mimic his friends clothing aesthetics.
So naturally one week he’s wearing a backwards cap and baggy jeans in an attempt to mimic Nino who is ecstatic and another he’s wearing a lot of flannel which makes Alya roll her eyes and another him and Marinette are practically twins much to his delight until she gently tells him he only likes it because they are matching and he should probably keep looking until he finds something that is his own.
But instead he just keeps on mimicking classmate after classmate until he runs through them all and he starts talking to Kagami who’s figuring things out herself and doesn’t provide much to go off of and he settles on wearing suits until someone mistakes him for Felix.
So then he decides to move on from people and starts to look on Pinterest at Marinette’s suggestion and he copies the outfits down to a science but why does everything STILL feel not right? He decides it’s the website so he moves on and copies what he sees in magazines and in ads and it feels a little better but he also feels a little sick when he does it and why isn’t anything right and he’s twisting the ring on his finger so much it’s leaving a mark and hes pacing around the mansion and it has so many portraits and his dad is in all of them and why is he suddenly getting the feeling nothing he puts on will ever be right and why in the world does this stupid ring feel so heavy.
And so after a month of experimenting, he gets up in the morning one day and decides to try on the outfit he always used to wear and attempts to do his grown out hair the old way and looks in the mirror and stares at himself for a while. He slips on his sneakers and then the door rings and he heads downstairs to meet Marinette for school. As they’re walking he is still trying to decipher what he feels and he suddenly realizes that his dad would like this outfit a lot. He smiles to himself and tells Marinette and she smiles weakly and says she supposes he would and then avoids his eyes.
Adrien feels that familiar twist in his stomach that tells him something isn’t right, but when he tries to reflect on why that would be he’s only met with the same fuzzy memories of his father that he can’t quite sort out. He wonders if that’s where the unease comes from but then he shakes his head because those memories must be good because his father died a hero.
And so he wears the same outfit he always wore, ignoring the fact it feels a little too tight on him and that it makes his new ring feel heavier than ever.
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not-the-coffee-machine4 · 3 months ago
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Me: *tries to see what the Queen fans on TikTok have to say*
*Jim hate*
*”facts” that may or not be actually true*
*”Freddie Mercury was bisexual-“*
*Using Barbara Valentin as evidence*
*thinking things that happened in the movie actually happened irl*
*general misinformation about everyone and everything*
Me: aaaaand back to Tumblr I go
(open tags at your own risk, there’s a whole essay in there)
#Why are Tumblr Queen fans the only sane ones like what happened#Coincidentally this is also how reading a lot of articles about them and their history tend to go#When did we stop looking at the primary sources like how did some of these disconnects grow so large#Freddie was just gay. YES he was out. YES he stated it publicly (he was still coy sometimes I will give you that)#No he didn’t know he had AIDS before Live Aid. Yes Jim was his major long term partner.#No the little people with trays of coke on their heads story isn’t true. No Freddie most likely didn’t take Princess Diana to a gay bar#No Roger didn’t accidentally give a fan a sex tape (there is a nugget of evidence that a tape was leaked but if so it didn’t happen like th#He locked himself in a TAPE CLOSET not a cupboard (this one doesn’t annoy me as much as the rest)#No Freddie was not ✨involved✨ with Barbara Valentin#No Love of My Life is not about Mary in the way people think it is#RESEARCH PLEASE I AM BEGGING#IT’S NOT EVEN THAT HARD TO FIND SOME OF THAT STUFF#ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE A JOURNALIST LIKE LOOK AT THE PRIMARY SOURCES INSTEAD OF CONFIRMATION BIASING BY LOOKING AT ARTICLES#FROM OTHER JOURNALISTS WHO ALSO DID WHAT YOU’RE DOING#REEEAAADDDD#It’s not even annoying because it’s about a topic I like it’s just literally the unimaginable gap between truth and reality#that is SO EASY TO BRIDGE AND YET. LIKE HOW IS IT THIS BIG OF A PROBLEM WHAT HAPPENED#I have written a novel in these tags so I’ll stop yapping now but GOD it grinds my gears#queen#queen band#roger taylor#roger meddows taylor#brian may#sir brian may#freddie mercury#john deacon#Tiktok#queen fans
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daily-crowley · 11 months ago
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Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍
(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)
#personal update#I got into Trolls#but I mean really really really into it#new fixation the brainrot is unstoppable#it’s all I think about I’m to the point that I need all Trolls content to survive#all Trolls content HAND IT OVER! merch fanart fics ALL OF IT#I’m so in love with Branch Floyd and John Dory#Rock Zombie Branch is sooooooo#and so I’d Rock Zombie Poppy#I AM THE NUMBER ONE JOHN FORY DEFENDER LEAVE HIM ALONE HE DID NOTHING WRONG AND DOESNT DEAERVE THE HATE HE GETS#I need what Broppy have oh my fucking god it’s so cute the love they have for each other it’s consuming me#and I need more of Branch and Clay those two rule following safety loving nerds would have such a great relationship#DID YOU SEE CLAY FAWNING OVER BRANCH WHEN THEY REUNITED SQUISHING HIS CHEEKS#THATS HIS BABY BROTHER AND HES AS CUTE NOW AS HE WAS WHEN HE WAS A BABY#AND THE ENDING WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE WAS SORRY FOR MISSING HIM GROW UP BUT COULDNT WAIT FOR THWM TO HANG OUT NOW#everyone focuses on Branch and Floyd but I NEED BRANCH AND CLAY#Speaking of Floyd I love him so much. he’s all I think about. that is if I’m not thinking of Branch#John Dory is everything to me? like I’m obsessed with him in a different way. like I said I’ll defend him every single time#BRUUUUUUUCE!!! 💞💞💞💞💞#Trolls 3 is still in cinemas and I’ve literally been going to rewatch it once a week#no joke I’m going again this Wednesday#AND I HAVE THE FILM AT HOME! I have all 3 of them and I watch them every day#I’m telling you the brainrot is unstoppable I am going insane#People apparently don’t like when I talk about any other interest of mine especially Trolls#it’s like I’m almost not allowed to talk about anything other than Good Omens#so since people don’t like me doing permanent posts YOU’RE GETTING IT IN THE TAGS#okay I’m done…. for now.#Crowley#Crowley Of The Day#Good Omens
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snakes-of-the-undercity · 26 days ago
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Vi is gifted kid burnout but in the english major way
#she’s the best characterization I’ve seen of gifted kid burnout outside of super-genius characters#like. as a burnt out gifted kid by legal designation. she is me#trying to succeed at everything because that’s what you’re told to do or what you think needs to be done to be worth anything to anyone#being rigid to change because it’s not being done right but at the same time accepting change so long as people stay with you#and also how that ties in with being an eldest sibling#because ik folks love the whole ‘gifted kid jinx’ thing (not me but ya’ll do you) but ya’ll—#YA’LL DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR BURNT OUT ACADEMIC VI—#because Vi never got the chance to be a kid and learn and grow and find what she actually enjoyed in the world outside of the last drop crew#but look at her. the way she speaks and the way she tried to teach powder the lessons she earned the hard way in the gentlest way possible#in the way she so desperately clings on to people and memories#my girl would be a WRITER#my girl would be writing poetry drunk in her shitty basement apartment after hooking up with a girl#my girl would be writing novellas in prison and getting her degree#because you know she sees the world like a romantic. her world is art and emotion and devotion. to her family. to anything she cares about#i need more literary! student vi. i need more academic vi. i need more grudging debate-team captain vi#i need vi getting her own place and having an extensive book collection that she develops because of the loneliness#Her gkb is going from a leader & soldier to someone who could be useful regardless to someone who is useless & being okay w/ it ->#to being needed again and not knowing how to handle it but knowing she refuses to fuck it up this time#GIVE ME VI W/ MY GIFTED KID ARCCCCCC#this probs makes no sense and is like 4 tangents but I’ll expand on it later ‘cause im tired#coherency is for losers and the well-rested#vi arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#vi
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scratxhed-cd · 2 years ago
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The spiderverse brainrot only worsens so:
- Rio telling Miles “it’s not your life it’s my life and your fathers and your abuelos who put you in this position that I’d give anything to be in” hits home when ur a first gen student from immigrant parents
- Miles’ teenage frustration being so irritating (looking at it from his parents POV), so understandable (from his own POV) And just so “relatable teenager energy” (from my memories of growing up/watching my siblings grow up)
- Miles’ family being his source of strength since the first movie
- Miles only finding the resolve in Into the Spiderverse to take his leap of faith as Spider-Man after his dad shared a very heartfelt message to him through his dorm door which beautifully sets up Miles telling Rio (in earth 42 but still) that he is strong because of his family, it’s always been family
- the queer symbolism of it all, from Miles’ fear in Across the Spiderverse (“I was scared that if I told you, you wouldn’t love me the same”) to back in Into the Spiderverse when he asks his dad if he really does hate Spider-Man after learning he must become the new Spider-Man
- the hints of the Morales’ Latino/Puerto Rican background !!!
- the Spanish! The Spanglish! Rio’s affection toward Miles! “Que dios te bendinga”, the relatives telling Miles how big he’s gotten, the way they say it, love it all
- Miles having a rough time speaking Spanish not only because he spends less time at home, but also because he has no friends to practice with
- Miles admitting he has no friends in his universe besides Ganke, who doesn’t appear to want to be very involved in Mike’s life as Spider-Man. While understandable, I think, it really does further emphasize just how lonely Miles is since he’s lying to his parents and the one person who does know his secret can’t relate to him
- the loneliness being sadder when you think about how easily Miles talks to people and how he seemed to have been more established at his old school
- and finally, rewatching Into the Spiderverse after seeing Across the Spiderverse and thinking about how Miles was just a kid when this all started
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kangals · 7 months ago
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Kep at almost 5 months vs almost 6 months. he’s starting to grow in his adult coat and he’s not in exactly the same stance in the pics but I think he’s getting slightly more long? he looks a bit more proportionate to me, but again, hard to say. I know these are bad stacks but if you know anything about collie confo I always love hearing your thoughts!
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javierduffy · 9 days ago
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DO IT. WRITE THE JOHN X KIERAN FIC AND I WILL READ IT TRUST
ALSO HAPPY NEW YEAR
happy new year to you as well :] !!! i hope it’s filled with fun and love and light !!!!!!!
WAUGH THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT 💔💔 now idk about a full fic but uuhhmmm i can offer you some silly doodles ? hopefully i’ll have the energy to draw/write them for real soon 😭
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and of course the 3rd boyfriend
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rockoblanco · 4 months ago
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been sober for 4 days so far & it’s been hard but slowly falling in love w/ my sober mind and excited to see how far i can go ❤️
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motherfuckingbrad · 1 year ago
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so much untapped potential in jeff and shirley having an episode where they must confront their internalized fatphobia and realize people are beautiful regardless of weight but no. the writers had to be cowards.
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fisherrprince · 2 days ago
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my third time starting a new minecraft world has been Much more successful than my first two times. on account of how i spawned in an area that kind of had things like iron and sheep and a coastline (I GET LOST VERY EASILY) and I didn’t get immensely frustrated trying to find Anything At All. I did however try to get two sheep near me, realize very quickly that that’s really hard without wheat, break both leads I got, dig a ton of stupid holes trying to get the sheep into it, kill one sheep out of pure choices in anger rage, then realize you can’t make a bed with two different colors of wool after I had already killed the sheep,
#kipspeak#I still would rather play this with a buddy. But I made a book! And wrote in it! It’s my journal now#I’m having all these realizations like im 12 and discovering Minecraft for the first time. because i’ve Never Played This#I found an empty map and now the map is my home and now I can go ANYWHERE and find my way home (!!)#I found a huge cave with diamond and gold and redstone and lapis and died 3 times in it so there are 4 boats parked outside#I found a cat in a village and im going to BEFRIEND the cat because I fished up a nametag (and 36 cod)#I made a nether portal. I’m scared of it but I am in a forest! I think im under a different layer of forest#I now have 3 sheep and many cows and 3 chickens but no shears because they burned to a crisp in the huge cave#when I died. In lava a lot and burnt all my stuff to death#there’s a huuuge river network that I can feel confident navigating because the exit is next to my house#I have one (1) bookshelf and plan to make maaannny more because of my cows and sugarcane abundance#there’s more things to grow than just wheat and sugarcane there is Beet Root#there’s a bunch of treasure chests in these little underwater temples everywhere in the ocean (im afraid of getting lost in the ocean tho)#(but I can explore it with my map!!!)#one of these days when I find a pretty place I’ll build a second house. Mine is a beach house 3 turtles live there#idk#I also got a ton of gold and made gold boots? You’re supposed to do that when you go to the nether? Don’t remember why but I’ll find out#I also found a treasure map but I think the treasure is super far underwater..?#but im also slowly getting to the point where i don’t want to go any further by myself#it’s mostly fields and holes out here… maybe I’ll go across the ocean#I’ve never been an open world survival game girlie I am not a fan of resource games like don’t starve#but I like building. so. Hmmm#I see cherry trees waaaaay up in the hills. Cherry time
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black-quadrant · 3 months ago
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claws
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mars-ipan · 2 months ago
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interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!
#marzi speaks#it’s . probably bc of the vasculitis thing#which like. while it is a traumatic thing that i need to work through and plan on going to therapy about#it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me#and like actually i do not think i am afraid of growing up anymore !#i mean i still have like. the imposter syndrome and the fear of getting overwhelmed and falling behind#that’s not gonna go away overnight that’s been there for as long as i can remember#BUT!! i know deep down that i can figure it out now.#bc i figured out a lot. i figured out how to gauge my physical well being#i figured out how to be someone who can regularly make phone calls without crying#i figured out pharmacies. and i’m figuring out how insurance works#and appointments and withdrawing from school and reapplying to school#and all of the lifestyle changes that come with having an autoimmune disease#i’m learning self advocacy. i’m learning how to respond when people treat me poorly (always accidentally so far)#yeah getting my license has been hard and slow just bc i have all the anxiety shit about it. but i AM putting that effort in#i dunno it’s just. adult responsibilities are horrifying and the prospect of existing independently in our current society#is horrifying. and i think i’ll always be scared.#but i used to think i might not be able to handle it. that i would fall apart#i know now that i won’t. i will find a way to move forward and be happy. because that’s what i’ve always done#if i can take the scariest couple of months in stride the way that i have. then i think i can handle it#anyways. 19 was eventful enough can i be 20 now. i think being 20 would be good for me#still a Weird thing to think about. two whole decades. but like i can do it methinks
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