#so since people don’t like me doing permanent posts YOU’RE GETTING IT IN THE TAGS

[theblueflower05]

First Love/ Late Spring

A/N: I had no right to listen to Mitski and write for Neteyam but here I am. I’ve been working on this on and off since December but finally decided to get serious and post it. Hope you guys like it!

Word Count: 5k+

Warnings: Masturbation(F receiving). Breeding Kink if ya really dig. Angst. Talks of self doubt and insecurity. All Characters are aged up 18+.

You are responsible for cultivating your own online experience, please do not interact if any of these tags are triggering to you. Minors DNI.

Summary: Neteyam has passed his Metkayinan Iknimaya, and is now free to choose a woman. Why did you ever think he would choose you? Neteyam X Na'vi Reader.

Series Masterlist(All parts can be found here)

Next> Crawling Back to You(Part Two)

One word from you and I would jump off of this ledge I’m on, baby.

Tell me don’t so I can crawl back in- Mitski, First Love/Late Spring

As the beloved niece of the reigning Olo’eyktan, in your life you had wanted for nothing.

Had spent the last nineteen years in isolated bliss. The island of Awa’atlu and your tribes familiar inhabitants were all you knew. Your life moved to a steady beat, as sure as the morning eclipse. As rhythmic as the tides.

And you had been content, really you had. Too busy to be bored. Too beloved to truly dwell on the gap. On the absence of a mate no matter how much your Uncle; Tonowari urged you to accept one of the many offerings of courtship. Lonely maybe, but happy.

Useful. Focused.

Ever since the Sully’s arrival, you have felt anything but.

Descending from the skies on ikran back, they left plumes of sand in their wake. Shook up everything you had ever known as they stood there on the beach, adrift. Out of place, different then anything you had ever seen with their dark skin and thin tales. That morning had been a whirlwind of harsh words and brief but tense negotiations.

So much change had happened in such a small amount of time that it was hard to wrap your head around-

The leader of the Sully Tribe, Jake, had begged Uturu for his family. And ever benevolent, your Uncle Tonowari had granted it to them.

Overwhelmed by crowds, you don't recall much more of that day except for the desire to run away. To escape the strained aura’s of the hesitant clans people and the exhausted newcomers. You’d gone to away, eager to get back to your herbs and tinctures. To the safety of familiarity to digest the entire situation.

You’d been stopped in your tracks, rooted in place, by a pair of striking golden orbs.

A stare like none you’d ever known. His eyes resonated with you. Plucking a cord n your chest that echoed throughout the rest of your body. You’d never felt anything like it. Never been so affected by a stranger.

Never been so affected by anyone.

Even now, months later, thinking of Neteyam that look he’d given you on his first day here makes you hot. You dream about it, about him often. He plagues you, has taken up permanent space in your subconscious.

You wake most mornings to phantom touches. To his voice ringing in your ears and an empty bed mat that feels too cold.

This morning is no different. Your eyes flutter open with a gasp and your heart is beating madly in your chest.

It's early. You have only moments before you will be expected to wake and start your daily routine. Really, you should’ve been up by now-

Instead you lie in your corner of the family mauri, the privacy curtains pulled around your bed as you shoulder into the woven blankets. Your hands slip down- lower on your belly and into the dip of your tweng.

Between your legs you’re hot, soaked and pulsing as you always seem to be these days. Your clit swollen almost painfully as you press your fingers to it, rubbing firm little circles as you search for some kind of relief. Humping harshly into your small hand, cupping your sex desperately as you recall Dream Neteyam.

He’d pinned you to a tall palm, your belly pressing against the rough bark as buried his nose in your hair. All panting breaths and wandering hands.

“You’re so beautiful”

“I’m right here”

“Let me have you, I have to have you”

Dream Neteyam says all the things you want to hear as he ravages you. He’s sure footed, cocky in that way that you knew he could be. He’s pushy and needy and you’d give him anything if he asked for it, Eywa all he had to do is hint that he wanted it-

“Spread your legs for me, sevin ”

You bite your lips bloody, your fangs digging into them as your thick thighs clamp shut around your hands and your pussy spasms. You want to cry out as you come. Fight the urge to whine because it’s not enough, you’re still so empty.

Neteyam’s name is always on your tongue as you come down from your self induced high.

“Y/N? My Child, are you awake?”

There’s no time to bask in the afterglow, you wrench your hands away. Wiping the mess on your blankets as you shoot up straight-

“Yes? Yes. I’m coming, i’ll be out a minute” You try to keep your voice from breaking and just barley succeed.

Ronal who had peeked a head into the empty mauri isn't convinced, but accepts it anyway “Hurry now, we have to get going. The tide pools will be filling and we need to restock the sea-tsam(kelp like herbs), you haven't even eaten breakfast yet. Up!”

You only release the breath stuck in your chest when she’s scurrying back out of the home- one of these days you’re going to get caught.

Your people are free with their sexuality, there’s no shame in pleasure whether it be self inflicted or given by another. But it would make those pesky questions arise- if you’re so needy, Y/N- why do you refuse every eligible bachelor that comes your way?

You huff, thinking about that very thing as you get ready for the day. Bruising through your long hair almost violently as you chew it over.

If you need to be fucked so badly, why are you three years into adulthood without a mate? You don’t even have a possible suitor- your friends are having babies, building lives, and you’re still living with your family.

It used to be that you we’re hyper focused on your role in the clan. On your training as part of the Tsakarem. On preparing Tsireya for the day she reaches adulthood and takes over her mother’s title.

You had always been family oriented, and the clan had accepted it-

But now there were whispers. Inquiries, never spoken to you but always about you. It’s an oddity that such a pretty young woman with such high standing is choosing to be alone.

Is there something wrong with you?

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The only thing that’s wrong with you is your inability to focus on the most mundane of tasks as of late.

After a quick breakfast, you’d taken off. Determined to knock the long list of chores down.

You’d collected herbs until your fingers hurt and the satchel slung across your chest was full to the brim. You’d tended to the Elders, and checked in on the mother with newborns, still so fresh to the world that they’re connected to their Sa’nok kuru, constant Tsaheylu necessary at such a young age.

Healing isn't always glamorous, and while you’d much rather be mixing potions and sketching in your journals- you check fevers. Change chamber pots. Kiss the scraped knee’s of young ones.

You’re supposed to be heading back to the Healer’s Mauri, the large hut where Ronal waits for you-

But instead you get sidetracked.

It’s all you seem to do these days.

Lounging in the soft warm sand is so much easier then running around the village.

You’d come across your cousins who were circled by Roxto and the elder Sully’s, and it hadn't taken much convincing for you to tag along on whatever little adventure they had planned for the afternoon. It had led you to one of the smaller isles, a tiny thing that was mostly white sand beaches and deep rocky cove tunnels.

Lo’ak and Ao’nung practicing their breath holds, taking turns weaving through the underwater caves. The two had went from going for each others throat’s to thick as thieves, and your glad. Lo’ak’s troubled, but he’s not trouble. Not the way that your cousin's other asshole friends are.

Roxto and Neteyam wade through the crystal clear shallows, hunting for clams that are abundant at this time of year.

You’re sat with Kiri and Tsireya, the three of you staying in the beach and giggling about current clan gossip. Chattering endlessly.

Neteyam’s shoulders are broad and glisten in the bright afternoon sun. You can barely tear your gaze away from him. Hungrily, needing to glance back every few seconds-

“The celebration is in less then a month's time” Tsireya states, a small grin playing on her lips as she takes in the scene.

She knows about your feelings for the eldest Sully son, you’d confessed them to her in a fit one night. Unable to keep them caged in your chest anymore. She can understand the appeal- her own eyes had been glued to the family since the arrival.

What she can't understand is why you wont tell him- or at the very least why you’re being so damn shy about it. You had never been this demure before.

“I know, the preparations have been a real pain in my ass” You reply, turning on your side to face her. Arm bent at the elbow, chin propped in your hand. “Tonowari has me assisting with getting the ceremonial mats woven. It’s not fair”

“I think he just wants you to be…a more active participant this year” Tsireya chooses her words wisely, ignoring your side eye “It’s sweet”

“It’s annoying” you hiss, eyes rolling harshly. Your tail swishes behind you, a firm pat on the sand.

“This is the celebration that’s held for the hunters. The ones that pass their Iknimaya’s?” Kiri asks, intrigued. She’s inquisitive and you’d assured her early on that she could ask you anything, that you’d help her understand the customs of your people.

“Yes and it’s so much fun. You’ll see, the Hunters come back from Motnaui(ritualistic hunt) and we spend the day roasting their catch, thanking Eywa for her abundance. There’s dancing and singing- “ Tsireya’s eyes sparkle as she talks about it, glazed with nostalgia.

You let her rant a bit more before cutting her off, “And mating. Most of the hunters will stake their claim on any courtships that have been started”

Because yes, it is a celebration for the newly joined adults of the clan, but goes hand in hand with the fact that it is their first chance to choose a mate.

“We have something like this back in the forest, it's the start of Fertility Season right?” Kiri verifies and you nod. “Does it coincide with the rains here, too?”

“Mhmm, most newly mated pairs will spend the week or so tucked away…-” Tsireya’s cheeks get red and you roll your eyes.

“Coupling” You interject and she shoots you a look that has you tittering. Awe, your sweet young cousin, still a year away from her own Iknimaya. Innocent and shy when it comes to such topics.

Kiri doesn't look scandalized- she’d come to adulthood back in the forest. Though she hasn't chosen a mate she had partaken in many of the festivities.

“Yes, coupling” Tsireya continues. “Its all beautiful really, its my favorite time of year. Right after the return of the Tulkun of course”

Its nice listening to your cousin's version of the celebration. You think that yeah, your own view of it all used to be mostly the same. That was until you’d reached adulthood, and had spent the last cycles without a mate of your own. This week that Tsireya found so beautiful had just been wet for you. Yourself and other unmated , able bodied Na’vi took on the duties of the disposed clan members.

It was an honor to take care of your people while they were vulnerable.

It was embarrassing to have not found a mate of your own yet.

You wonder if this year you’d spend the week in the rain again.

“You don't seem excited” Kiri whispers and you force a smile onto your face almost instantly, not wanting to come off so extremely transparent.

“It’s not that I’m not-”

“Y/N hasn't mated yet”

“Obviously Tsireya, thank you for pointing that out” you deadpan at the girl but she continues on, not phased in the least by your attitude-

“But I do think that will change this year”

Kiri perks up, big eyes interested, a brow arched “Really? Has someone caught your eye? Every time any one even tries to start courting you, you give them the cold shoulder”

“That’s not true, I’m nice about it” you defend your actions “I just haven't been interested in any of their offers”

“‘Their’ being half of the unmated men in this clan” Kiri’s sarcasm rivals your own, you flick a small shell at her forehead.

“It hasn't felt right and Eywa wouldn't want me to settle. '' The words taste condescending as they roll off your tongue, you don't blame them for scoffing at you but it's true.

If you had accepted an offer in the past, you wouldn't be free to follow your hearts desire now…your eyes flick back to the shore. Back to the broad shoulders.

“I’m sure whoever you choose will be honored,” Kiri chuckles. “Surprised though, probably. I overheard a couple of Elder’s making bets that you’d make another suitor cry this year”

The peel of laughter that Tsireya lets out is shrill and loud,

Roxto and Neteyam’s heads turn, far out enough now that the surely cant hear the conversation but can hear the shrieks of joy. Roxto grins and signs something that you can't quite make out and Neteyam gives a small wave.

You can feel the big stupid smile on your face, it’s no surprise that Kiri acknowledges it.

“You didn't answer my question. Is there anyone in particular that you have your eye on?”

You gnaw on your bottom lip. You’d been wanting to run it past her for weeks. Desperate for her insight but too embarrassed to muster up the courage and ask for it.

“Tell her, tsmuk’tu” Tsireya urges gently.

“I have been hoping that…Neteyam might choose to court me. After his Iknimaya” You admit it, carefully watching her for her reaction. Your own ears are pressed to your head, your fingers winding around each other nervously.

“I was wondering why that idiot was going through his rites again” Kiri nods, like she’d found the missing piece of a puzzle.

One that she wasn't willing to share with the group.

“What’do you mean? If he wants to be a hunter, he has to” You point out the facts, the law of the village.

“Well yeah, but I mean look at how our dad did it. He didn't jump through all of the hoops, he just tamed his Skimwing on his own time. My brother has been adamant about wanting to be apart of ceremony”

You ingest Kiri’s words greedily, letting them expand in your chest. It’s hope, the fragile kind, the scariest kind.

“Maybe he just wants to prove himself as a hunter. We’ve heard his skill is legendary to the Omiticaya” you suggest and Tsireya pushes at your shoulder, shaking her head.

“Maybe” Kiri shrugs her shoulders “But mating is important to Neteyam. He’s always wanted a big family, I think he really idolized our parents' marriage. Mom said he must’ve taken an interest in a mate if he’s making such a big deal out of being a recognized adult here”

A big family. Neteyam wants to be a father.

The thought is heady. The seed has been planted in your head and you know there is no way that you will ever be able to dig it out.

“Do you think that-”

You're cut off by booming laughter, by clatter and chaos. Who else could it be but Ao’nung and Lo’ak coming back from the caves, they had the worst possible timing. You shoot daggers at your cousins fat head.

“What are you girls whispering about over here?” 'Nung teases as he drops next to you in the sand,

“That would be none of your business” You snipe, “Skxawng ass”

“Why so hostile, cuz?” Ao’nung starts “I was the one who invited you out here? You don't want to spend time with little ol’ me?”

“I spend too much time with you as is. I was hoping you had drowned down in those caves so I could get a break- NUNG!” you squeal as your cousin shakes his head, wringing out his wet hair all over you. The water is shockingly cold against your sun soaked skin.

Soon enough, Neteyam and Roxto come in from the waves, baskets full of multicolored shells. More than happy to share as they join the small circle.

“You had such a bountiful catch!” Tsireya applauds, happily accepting the oysters that Roxto offers.

You’re awkward around Neteyam on a good day- there's something so intimidating about his beauty. So tall and angular. But today? After the admittance you’d made to his sister? You can barely look at him.

You feel heavy and clunky and ugh, why does he make you so nervous? You’re playing with your hair, twisting the thick tendrils around your fingers idly when Neteyam turns to you.

“Do you want some?” He asks, already prying the tough shell open with his knife.

“Oh, yes please. They’re actually my favorite” You grin, and at least your voice doesn't project all the nerves you feel.

“I know” He hands you the oyster once he opens it and you try not to pay too much mind to how his fingers brush yours.

“How would you know that?” you slurp at the rich juice, grateful.

“Roxto was telling me about it” He says simply, already working open another shell to hand out.

“Oh yeah! Y/N remember when you ate so many of these that you got sick at dinner! I’ve never seen someone puke that much, it was never ending” Roxto chuckles, igniting laughter from the group.

You wince, the memory is not a particularly good one and you don't enjoy reliving it. Especially not in current company. You can feel your cheeks heat intensely.

“It was so bad! You got it all over dad’s lap and he didn't know what to do” Ao’nung adds hysterically “He just started panicking- picked you up by your tail and tossed your ass outside”

Tsireya breaks, giggling behind her hand and Kiri all but chokes. Lo’aks shaking his head good naturedly as Ao’nung and Roxto are in stitches- the only one who doesn't laugh is Neteyam. No, instead he gives you a gentle kind of smile, before going back to his task of shucking.

You’re only the butt of the joke for moments more before it ping-pongs to Lo’ak, who has almost cut one of his odd five fingers off in the process of prying open an ornery shell.

“Oh! Look brother, how pretty” Kiri points out the large blush colored pearl that Neteyam had almost swallowed.

“That’s good luck!” You grin “They don't usually get that big”

Huh. Good luck you say?” Neteyam picks it out of the shell, holding it between his thumb and pointer as he examines how it shines in the sun. Beautiful…

You’re frozen when he reaches out, the pearl in the palm of his hand.

“Here” he offers it to you.

The purple flush that completely takes over your face crawls down your neck too. You're completely flustered by the simple gesture of good will.

You should tell him that you can’t take it- that he should give it to Tuk, his little sister that loves making jewelry. Instead you’re hungry for anything, will accept any scraps of himself that Neteyam will give to you.

“Irayo” you beam as you accept the pear, tucking it away in your satchel for safe keeping. “I love it!”

He just gives you another one of those ever soft boyish grins, his eyes pools of liquid amber.

· · ─────���─ ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

As the weeks go by, there’s a certain light to you. A bounce in your step,

“Your aura has changed” Ronal informs you of the fact as the two of you sit in the Healers Mauri, plumes of heavy incense filling the space with fragrant smoke.

She’s far into her pregnancy now, but that has never stopped her from completing her duties. The salves she mixes with an expertise that comes from years of trial and error are potent and coveted.

Your lips quirk into a private smile as your fingers continue their threading. Working on a personal project in between your chores. “Has it really?”

She assesses you, her turquoise eyes all knowing as she takes you in. You’re a woman grown now far from the small child she had taken in with her husband all those years ago. In theses last few months you have blossomed, like a flower unfurling. She had an inkling of why-

“You are thinking of accepting courtship this cycle, yes?” It’s not a question, but a statement. One she already knows the answer to.

“I am” you whisper. “If he decides to pursue me, that is”

The comfortable quiet is back, both of you focusing on your respective tasks. You’d always been content just to bask in your Aunt’s presence.

“The Sully boy would be a fool not to court you” Ronal breaks the silence bluntly and you really should've had expected that she already knew.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Where dread usually lives in your heart at this time of year, lies only excitement. Joy, that fragile hope as you prepare for the festival. Anyone who knows you can see the change, you throw yourself head first into ceremony prep. Spend hours sitting with Tsireya eagerly sowing together new pieces of clothing for the festivities.

You sing as you tend to your house work, sweet little tunes that your family is surprised to hear.

Tonowari is beaming, endlessly happy that you are going to give a member of the clan a chance. He’d been questioning your self induced isolation for years, and was eager to see which of his warriors had stolen your heart. Ronal refuses to tell him even though he knows she knows,

“It is not mine to share” his wife rebuff’s every time he questions.

As the day of the Iknimaya draws closer you try to make sure that Neteyam knows that you are open to courtship. You spend a decent amount of time with his family anyway, Tsireya and Lo’ak always connected at the hip and Kiri growing into a close friend.

You ask him about his training, tend to any wounds he may aquire diligently. Laugh at his bad jokes, and listen to his stories of home. He misses the forest, you can tell. You selfishly hope that there isn't a pretty Omaticayan girl waiting for him.

At dinner, in the largest communal mauri, filled to the brim with clans members who are all but vibrating with excitement for the close looming festivities, you navigate the people.

In your hands, a large plate made from a recycled shell piled is high. Fish roasted over the fire, steamed rice and root vegetables that you had harvested yourself.

You’d watched Neteyam along with a handful of other training warriors limp into dinner late. They look tired and worn down.

He’d plopped down next to his family without getting himself food, and that just wouldn't do.

“Jake, Neytiri- I see you” You greet his parents as you approach. The sit close together, always intertwined in one way or another.

‘He idolizes our parents marriage’

You understand Kiri’s words as you watch Toruk Makto and his mate, as you appraise their close bond.

Jake grins, Tuk in his lap. Greeting you right back, easy to conversate with. Neytiri is quieter, hard to read. Intimidating, just like Neteyam who favors her so much in looks. Still the older woman signs the greeting back to you.

“You look really rough” is not what you meant to say to their son. Neteyams brow bones rise and you could kick yourself. Definitely would later.

“Thanks, I feel it” Neteyam responds with a tired chuckle.

Instead you laugh too, albeit awkwardly, trying to remedy the situation “What I mean is, you didn't get yourself food- and I know how exhausting training can be. Here, please eat. I’d hate for you to lose strength this close to your rite”

He accepts the plate of food graciously and you try to ignore the heavy feeling of eyes on you. His families, the clans. People have noticed you, have noticed this act of service. There’s only one thing it can mean.

“Irayo Y/N, I appreciate you” he thanks, making room for you on the log that he’s sat atop “Would you like to sit with us?”

“Very much so- but I promised Elder Raou’wal that I would help him back to his mauri. His legs don't work like they used to, and I don't want him to fall again-” you curse your nature, the fact that you offer your help so freely.

All you want to do is take that seat, so close to Neteyam that your thighs would press against one and others.

“That is very kind” Neteyam soothes “It’s okay, another time”

“Yes, another time” You know you sound like an idiot. You feel like an idiot. Standing before him and his family uninvited.

You need to make a quick escape, overwhelmed by all of the attention. “Please, get some rest before tomorrow. I’ve had to tend to over worked warriors all week”

Neteyam’s grin…is something else. Something not so sweet. Something that makes you flustered, that he’s looking at you like that in front of his parents, in front of the tribe. “Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Will you be there, tomorrow?”

“Of course I will” your response is quick, eager and it just makes that look on his face more intense.

“Good. Then I know everything will go well” his words make your heart beat so loudly your ears ring.

You don’t even know what to say, can barley keep your cool as you utter goodbye to his family, all of them quite obviously amused as you begin to scurry away.

You know the blush is burning up your whole face, that everyone can see your feelings as clear as day.

But-

You can’t leave him like that. Not with him facing is Iknimaya in the morning, with all of its promises of danger.

“May Eywa be with you, tomorrow and always” you give him the quiet blessing, truly hoping that the great mother looks over him.

He softens, physically. All of him slumping, as though you had put a balm on a jagged cut.

You don't wait for a reply.

Tonowari watches the exchange from his place at the head of the room,

Oh.

That is who had caught your eye, the warrior that had broken your resolve.

He shares a look with Ronal, his eyes comically wide and she laughs lowly at him.

“Ah my love, you have always been so slow”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Iknimaya rituals go as they always go, a long day full of young, strong hearted Na’vi eager to prove themselves. Most of them don’t succeed, at least half of them will need to wait until the next cycle to attempt it again.

Your family is at the center, you stand proudly behind Olo’eyktan Tonowari and Tsahik Ronal as they guide the young clan members through the rite of passage. Tsireya beside you, knowing that next cycle it will be her and Lo’ak attempting their own rites. Ao’nung cheering on young hunters that he had trained himself.

You love all of your people, the Metkayina one beating heart under Eywa’s watchful eye- yet you can't tear your focus away from Neteyam.

Your eyes are glued to him, and him only. The entire time. You watch, anxious and in awe. He’s so strong, all lean muscle and sharp mind. He mounts his Skimwing on the first try, much to the surprise of his peers. The people cheer him on, whopping loudly.

He’s beautiful, capable and skilled. He’s…stolen something from you. Abducted your soul, enthralled your thoughts in a way that almost felt intrusive.

You watch as the son of the first becomes a son of the sea, a man in both the Metkayina and Omiticaya tribes. A feat that almost none have accomplished.

The Motnaui is tradition, the freshly rited hunters will join the seasoned on a days long hunt. The time in the open ocean solidifies their bond to the tribe, their place that they have earned. Their chief will join them. Tonowari is eager, ecstatic for the time he gets to spend with his new hunters. With his ever growing tribe.

Everyone gathers to see the hunters off, so much love filling the crowded beach. Your people a buzz, tearful. Joyous.

You trail your fingers over the colorful Lei that lies around your neck. It matches the floral wreath nestled atop your head; the orchids are vibrant shades of fuchsia pinks and sunset yellows to represent your family.

They come in all shades, neon greens and baby blues, lilac purples and vibrant reds.

They are traded between your people at this time of year. Elders give them to children, sisters to their brothers. Tonowari wears many around his neck, the visual representation of how beloved he is to his clan.

To give a Lei can be friendly and platonic, sure. Especially if it is one of the dozens that are made just to be handed out- if a person wears multiple for clear decoration and celebration purposes only.

It can also be a very clear invitation for courtship- or at the very least consensual coupling. If a woman takes her lei off her own neck and presents it to a man, it is a sign of ownership. Marking that the specific male is taken for the duration of the fertility season.

You need to give Neteyam yours before he leaves, you want him to know that he has you. That you are his- and that you want him to be yours. That you will wait for him as he hunts and when he returns, he can have all of you.

You’re trying to find him in the crowd, your eyes scanning for the familiar dark blue skin that stands out so shockingly amongst your people-

Neteyam is with his family, all of them exuding proud energy. His mother cups his face in her lithe hands, his sisters hold onto his arms. His father pats his shoulder and his brother stares at him like he’s hung the stars.

You don't want to intrude on the moment, but you have to catch him before he leaves-

It’s like watching a horrible accident, like being witness to carnage that you just can't stop.

Seychelle, a clans member two years your junior, is beautiful. She’s a skilled singer and the daughter of a high ranking fisherman. She’s tall and shapely with pretty eyes, and its her first cycle as an eligible adult. As a woman grown who is available to mate.

She walks right up to Neteyam and his family boldly. Unafraid or ridden by anxiety like you always seem to be. All flirty smiles and fluttering lashes.

You’re too far away, can't hear what she says but you wouldn't want to anyway. Your chest is caving in and you feel like you can't breathe, your ears ring with the lack of oxygen.

You could challenge her. You have a high standing in the clan. You have first choice when it comes to mates,

But instead you just stand there. Bare witness to her taking off her bright orange Lei and slip it around Neteyams neck. He accepts it without a fuss, grinning and you can see his mouth form the words “thank you”.

Your nose burns and tears prick threateningly at your eyes but you know you can not let them fall. Not here.

You do what you do best;

You run away.

Not bothering to explain your exit to anyone, you probably couldn't form words around the lump in your throat anyway, you run as fast as you can. The world feels very far away, like it exists without you in it.

Your family mauri is empty, everyone's still at the beach and you don't even bother making it to your bed. You collapse right inside the entrance as the tears finally over take you and your eyes flood over.

What were you thinking?

How had you read this whole thing so wrong?

Your mind is dangerous, cruel in its confused, hurt state. It assaults you and you sob into your hands. You feel stupid now, in the special clothes you'd donned. Your hair twisted meticulously-

He had never been interested in you, you’d taken his innate kindness and skewed it. Neteyam had just been nice to you and you being the simple minded girl you were- had tried to force it into something more.

You curse yourself, curse your heart. Curse that fragile hope that you had clung to so desperately.

You cry until you feel sick, your eyes swollen and back tight from sobbing. You’re dizzy and tired by the time you crawl over to your bed. You don't even get under the covers, just stare blankly at the wall of the mauri as tears roll down your cheeks.

Who knew one person could produce so many tears? You wonder when your body will run out. You don't know how much time passes, only aware that darkness starts to fill the space as the evening eclipse arises.

“Oh, YN” the silence is broken by your cousin's soft voice.

Tsireya had wondered where you had gone, had been confused about your departure until she clocked Neteyam with a Lei around his neck that was quite obviously not yours.

“I’m sorry” Is all she whispers as she slips into the bed next to you, her arm winding around your middle.

It starts a whole nother round of tears. Of crying, mourning what you thought you could have.

“I-I-I’m so s-stupid” you stutter, snotty and muffled. She shakes her head, tears of her own starting to form as she holds you tighter.

“No, don't say that cousin. You’re not stupid” Tsireya soothes as she pets your hair. It hurts to see you in such a state. This had to be a mistake, she had been so sure of Neteyams feelings for you. Everyone had.

You shake your head, because you know you are. You knew you had little chance and still you’d paraded yourself in front of him like an idiot.

Never again, you vow to yourself.

To your shattered heart.

Wow, okay I didnt expect this to be so big, but I got so caught up in Metkayina Lore building that I kind of got sidetracked. Safe to say 90% of this story is going to be canon divergent. All of this Lore is my own creation and not Mr. Cameron's.

I have to give a shout out to two authors in the Avatar fandom that have inspired me the most as I write this.

@tiredmamaissy has really carved out a niche when it comes to the sexual nature of Pandora. I love the way she portrays Na'vi relationships and if this story leans a bit A/B/O its because I cant see the Na've not going to Heat's/Ruts now. She's just so good.

@loaksky when I tell you that reading her work makes me want to hone my craft, I mean that shit. She is a wordsmith in a way that you don't see much anymore. I am obsessed with how she long hand story tells and I def feel inspired everytime I read one of her fics. Queen of will they wont they/ slow burn.

[steddieas-shegoes]

safe like a pinky promise

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is protection'

rated m | 2,744 words | cw: alcohol, steve is drunk, minor violence (mostly just the threat of violence) | tags: protective eddie munson, protective steve harrington, post breakup, getting back together, exes to lovers

####################################

In hindsight, Steve should’ve been smarter about coming to this bar alone.

He’d only ever been there with Eddie and his friends, and while they weren’t the most popular, people knew not to mess with them or anyone with them. Without their protection, without Eddie’s protection, Steve was kind of asking for trouble.

Especially when he showed up already drunk, causing a scene at the bar in the middle of Corroded Coffin’s set.

He’d been having fun, or trying to, at his house with Robin. But when her parents called and insisted she come home, she left him with a buzz and a loneliness he couldn’t do anything else with.

He missed Eddie. He’d fucked up so bad and now he had to miss Eddie forever. Or maybe not forever. Maybe if he just showed up to support him like he used to, maybe if he bought him a drink and asked to talk, maybe if he kissed him in the bathroom and asked him to come home with him…

The bar was packed, way busier than it ever had been before. Most of the crowd was younger, but definitely older than Eddie and the band. He could see some older guys in the back corner and the regulars at the bar.

The room was spinning as he tried to get eyes on Eddie. He just needed to see Eddie.

Eddie was on stage, the poor lighting doing a shitty job of making him look like the star he was. Steve would need to talk to the owner about that soon. His boy should shine.

Well, he wasn’t really his boy anymore, or ever. That was the problem.

Steve had run. Despite Eddie always insisting that he was a runner, Steve had been the one to book it the moment Eddie wanted things to be more serious.

Even Robin told him it didn’t make sense. Steve was the commitment type, craved permanence from someone in a way that most people their age didn’t even think about.

The moment Eddie offered that to him, he left.

He regretted it every moment since.

Eddie’s voice filled the bar, the drums and guitar of his bandmates loud enough to make the walls shake. It was all Steve could focus on.

He didn’t know how people were having regular conversations right now.

“‘Scuse me!” Steve yelled to the bartender, who was pouring a beer from the tap. “Did you guys not know they were playin’ t’night?”

He could kind of register that he was slurring his words a bit, but couldn’t do anything about it. He hadn’t been drunk in a long time, he forgot the way his head buzzed when he was.

“They play every Tuesday night, son. Why?” The bartender handed the beer

Steve wasn’t usually an asshole, not anymore. If he was, it was unintentional.

But this was about to be very intentional.

“So you just expect them to sing on a dark stage?” He managed to not slur too much that time, wanted to express how serious it was that Eddie wasn’t getting the right treatment. “How’s he sposed to be a rockstar?”

The bartender crossed his arms, unamused at Steve’s questioning.

Steve didn’t care. Eddie deserved better than a half-assed attempt at a bar.

“He’s so good! And you don’t let him be.” Steve wasn’t sure if that made sense, but the bartender seemed to get it.

“Listen, kid. I dunno who served you before you got here, but you’re not gonna cause a scene, alright? Just go get some fresh air and wait for your friend.”

“He should have better lights!”

A man at the bar stood up and took a step towards Steve. “Hey, you heard Ernie. Go get some fresh air before you do somethin’ stupid.”

Steve should probably listen. Robin would tell him to listen.

The bar was suddenly very quiet, the music on stage paused and voices of people nearby so quiet Steve couldn’t hear what they were saying.

Why was he even mad?

He looked over to see Eddie on stage, looking around the room with his eyes squinting.

Right, the lights.

“He’s gonna be famous someday and it won’t be because you helped. Maybe you should buy a-” Steve felt his stomach turn. Shit. “A um.”

The man across from him mistook his stumbling over words and fists as a threat, and before Steve knew it, he was pushed against the wall by the bar.

“You listen here, kid. Don’t know why you showed up already so drunk, but you best leave before this turns into a serious problem. Ernie does these boys a favor lettin’ them play for tips at all. Start causin’ a scene, they won’t be able to come back, ya understand?”

The hand balling up his shirt was large, and the man’s face was red with anger.

Steve never backed down from a fight though.

“If nobody stands up for them, they’ll just keep playin’ for free. This place doesn’t even get people like this unless they’re playing.”

Just as Steve closed his eyes and expected a fist to the face, he was released and fell down against the wall. He looked up to see Eddie, guitar slung over his back, talking to the man who was holding him against the wall.

He couldn’t really hear what they were saying, too distracted by the way Eddie’s curls framed his face. They were always perfectly messy, falling in a way that would probably look terrible on someone else. But it was Eddie, and everything looked good on Eddie.

“Steve?” Eddie’s voice brought him back to earth and he suddenly realized the entire band was standing behind Eddie, and all eyes were on them.

“They don’t even know you’re a rockstar, Eds,” Steve whined. “I tried to tell ‘em and they thought I was gonna be a problem.”

Eddie waved the guys away, handing his guitar to Gareth before leaning down to help Steve to his feet. “C’mon. You’re drunk as shit.”

Steve couldn’t really argue with that, and arguing would maybe make Eddie take his hands off of him, so fuck that. Eddie’s hands belonged on him. 2+2 was four and Eddie’s hands should be on Steve.

“Eddie, they don’t even turn the lights on!” Steve fell against his chest, mumbling into his shoulder. “No lights!”

Steve breathed in Eddie’s scent, sweat and body wash mixed up just right to drive Steve crazy.

But Eddie didn’t do it to drive Steve crazy, not anymore. Not since-

“Did you drive here?” Eddie asked, luckily keeping his arm wrapped around Steve as he guided him out the front door.

“No. Walked.” For some reason, he felt chastised, like maybe Eddie was disappointed in him, but he didn’t know what for. Maybe drinking? But Eddie liked to let loose sometimes too. It wouldn’t be fair of him to judge Steve for finally letting go a little.

“You walked? From where?”

“My house.”

“Steve, that’s three miles away.”

“Is it?”

Eddie pulled him to the back of his van, leaning him against the back doors and taking a long look at him.

“Does Robin know you walked here?”

“She isn’t in charge of me, I don’t have to ask for fuckin’ permission-“

“Get in the van.” Eddie tugged him to the passenger door, opening it for him and waiting for Steve to get in. “Do you need help?”

“No. I can do it.”

Which was a lie, and they both knew it, but Steve was not about to admit out loud how little control he had over his own limbs.

It became clear the moment he tried to step up into the van and his foot missed making contact by a solid six inches. He would’ve fallen flat on his face if not for Eddie’s strong arms wrapping around him and lifting him into the passenger seat.

Eddie closed the door and got into the driver’s seat, not even turning the radio on as they drove. They were heading in the direction of the trailer park, not Steve’s house, and Steve tried not to feel smug about it.

“Why did you come tonight?” Eddie finally asked, his knuckles turning white against the steering wheel. “Why are you drunk? And why did I have to rescue you from getting another concussion?”

“I just miss you.”

It was simple. That’s what it all boiled down to.

Steve missed Eddie, missed being able to just show up for him when he wanted, missed playing with his hair when he was asleep because that was the only time he sat still enough for him to do it. He missed the way he kissed the freckle closest to his ear when he was trying to calm him down after a nightmare. He missed making him laugh.

“Steve, you-” Eddie sighed and turned the radio on. “You can sleep it off and I’ll bring you home in the morning.”

“I don’t wanna sleep it off. I don’t want you to ignore me.” Steve crossed his arms, protecting himself from whatever words Eddie would throw at his chest. “I want you to miss me too.”

The turn into the trailer park was silent as Steve’s words surrounded them.

When the van was in park in front of Eddie’s trailer, he turned to Steve.

“I do miss you. I miss us.” Eddie wouldn’t look at him, but Steve could tell he was trying not to cry. “But I can’t talk to you about it until you’ve slept this off, okay? Whatever you’re feeling now might be gone in the morning.”

The adrenaline wearing off was enough for Steve to feel pretty sober, but he could still see double and the van felt like it was still moving under him, so he knew he was too drunk to have the conversation now.

“But in the mornin’?” Steve’s head felt heavy.

He was reaching his least favorite part of being drunk, the exhaustion phase, where every movement felt like it was in slow motion but the world around him was speeding by and his body felt numb. He closed his eyes as he waited for Eddie’s response.

His eyes shot open when he felt Eddie’s finger brush against his pinky.

“In the morning, we’ll talk. Pinky promise,” his pinky wrapped around Steve’s, squeezed, and didn’t let go.

Steve looked down at their joined pinkies, thought about how something so small made him feel so safe, and nodded once.

Eddie helped him inside, one arm around his waist and humming a song Steve vaguely recognized as they walked down the hall to Eddie's room.

“Couch?” Steve asked.

“Don’t want Wayne to wake you up when he gets home.”

Steve was helped out of his shoes and jeans and tucked in on his side of the bed.

He curled up under the blanket, breathing in the scent of Eddie’s shampoo on the pillow.

He drifted off to the warmth coming from Eddie’s side of the bed and the sound of Eddie humming that familiar song.

******

“...need ya to be careful, Ed. He really did a number on ya last time.”

Steve blinked his eyes open as he processed Wayne’s voice on the other side of the door, a voice he hadn’t heard in months. A voice that used to be warm and comforting for Steve from a person who placed his trust in Steve to not hurt his nephew.

“I think I did a number on him, too.”

Steve’s head was pounding, but not in the way of his usual migraines. He hadn’t been hungover in a long time, but he was quickly reminded of why he hadn’t bothered to drink in so long.

“I’m headin’ to bed. Be good to each other.”

Steve heard Wayne’s bedroom door close and Eddie’s door open. He didn’t pretend to be asleep, even though it would have given him at least another few minutes of soaking in this feeling of being Eddie’s before things turned sour. He looked at Eddie, who stood at the edge of his bed, his fingers curling around a loose thread of his blanket.

He was nervous.

He hadn’t been nervous when Steve broke his heart, he’d just been angry.

He hadn’t been nervous when they first kissed, he’d just been ready.

But he was nervous now and Steve knew that meant he needed to lead.

“Hey.” Steve’s voice was rough, more than just the usual morning rasp from disuse. “Can we talk in bed?”

They were known to have nightly talks facing each other in bed, sometimes still sweaty and breathless from sending each other over the edge, the honesty easier when the outside world felt far away.

Eddie must have recognized Steve’s intentions as he got under the blanket, facing him in bed with a nervous smile on his face.

“Hey,” Steve said again, barely more than a whisper.

“Hi.”

“Sorry about last night.” Eddie shrugged, but Steve pushed on. “I shouldn’t have gone to the bar at all. But I definitely shouldn’t have caused problems when I got there. I’m sorry I made a scene.”

“It’s alright, Stevie.” Eddie’s hand was inching closer to Steve’s between them. “Why were you drunk?”

“Robin and I were hanging out and she kept trying to bring up how I haven’t tried going out at all since-” Steve breathed out. “Since I ruined everything with you. And she said if I wasn’t gonna make it right with you, I should at least try to find someone who might make me happy. And I didn’t know who would! It was you for so long and you’re the only person who could make me that happy. So when she left I went from drinking a couple beers to drinking a few shots of the whiskey my dad didn’t take with him. And then I just…missed you.”

Eddie’s hand finally found Steve’s, his fingers curling against the back of his hand.

“I always miss you, but it was worse when I was alone and drinking. I was drunk enough to think walking to the bar was a good idea, which it clearly wasn’t-”

“I dunno about that. You’re in my bed again and that’s not all bad,” Eddie interrupted, a small smile threatening to break out into a much bigger one. “We aren’t doing anything else, but can I kiss you, Stevie?”

“Please,” Steve breathed out.

It had been four months, two weeks, and one day since the last time Eddie kissed Steve.

But this kiss felt like no time had passed at all, like they’d pick up exactly where they left off before Steve ruined it.

“You’re thinking too hard,” Eddie said against his lips, opening his eyes to see what was going on. “What’s goin’ on?”

“I’m just sorry that I let myself ruin what we had.”

“Sweetheart, listen to me.” Eddie cupped his face in his hands, forcing eye contact. “You did screw up. I can’t lie and say you didn’t. You had every chance to talk me through what was going on in your head and work it out in any other way, but you didn’t. That hurt me, but it also hurt you. And I should’ve tried to talk after. I shut you out and didn’t leave much room for you to make it right. That part is on me.”

“It wasn’t up to you to-”

“No, it was up to us and we’re young and stupid and have no idea what we’re doing so of course we’re gonna fuck up. We can love each other and still be stupid sometimes. But maybe next time we won’t forget that we love each other, huh?” Eddie kissed the tip of Steve’s nose. “Do you still have those thoughts?”

“Which ones?”

“The ones telling you that you can’t have someone who makes you feel safe.”

Steve looked at the only person on earth besides Robin who ever made him feel truly loved and protected.

He thought about how his last words to Eddie before last night had been spewed in anger, but were born of pain and mistrust in his own ability to be loved. He thought about how Robin told him the only way to be loved was to just let it happen, even when it was scary.

“I do still have them, yeah.” Steve leaned in to give him a kiss on the lips, soft and slow. “But you’ll protect me, right?”

“Every day, sweetheart.”

[petrovouho]

got tagged by @komplikacije in a question game, thank youu 💜

had fun and wrote a lot so i will shorten the post hahah

do you make your bed: absolutely not and people who do.... something wrong with them, also kinda unsanitary, you should let your sheets get some air and sun to disinfect

what’s your favorite number: 8 i don’t remember all reasons but through my life it just feels like the number was always following me in some way and the main trigger was when i was 8th on an entrance exam for college and i was soooo happy because i really wanted to study architecture and it was the only college that i put on my list (kinda stupid decision now that i look back lol) but it felt like everything just clicked

current job: none

if you could go back to school, would you: i would in a sense that now that i’m older i value knowledge a lot more and i can actually understand the importance of some things that we learned in school, not that i didn’t back then, i was always a great student, but now im able to understand it on a deeper level and connect with other things i know but i don’t really have the time and energy to go through it again.. but i wouldn’t like to go back in a sense of that period of time in my life and the people in school and stuff like that

can you parallel park: i can’t drive, and i don’t think i’ll be good at it either

a job you had that would surprise people: never worked a day in my life… i did some dance gigs at festivals and promotions and those type of events but the money would not go to us but our dance studio. and when i was i child i was always trying to sell shells to tourists and one time my drawings…

do you think aliens are real: could be idk, i don’t really see the point in thinking too much about things that i don’t know a lot about or that we just can’t find out so it never makes sense to me when people who also don’t have some knowledge on space and biology, in this case, have an opinion on it. like it’s cool if you’re trying to understand something and come to the conclusion but i feel like today too many people have opinion on everything and know nothing

can you drive a manual car: no

guilty pleasure: things that i feel guilty about are not pleasurable and things that i find pleasurable i don’t feel guilty about

tattoos: they are very cool and i always thought that i’ll have a bunch but as im getting older i’m not sure anymore hahah i think i’d feel super weird if i had something on my skin permanently.. still like them a lot tho

favorite colour: purple, green and blue

favorite music genre: i guess like indie/rock/punk/rnb/jazz/reggae, not too much of anything hahah but i listen to pretty much everything

do you like puzzles: i don’t remember when was a last time i did one but i do like them

phobias: i don’t have some specific fear but lately i’ve been a bit paranoid that i will pass out when i’m in my room alone and no one will know and be able to help

favorite childhood sport: i never was a sports person but i did go to rhythmic gymnastics as a kid and then in elementary school i started jazz dance and been doing it until last two years, idk if dance counts hahah but yeah i’ve always been physically active

do you talk to yourself: i don’t really think of it as talking to myself hahah more like sometimes my thoughts just come through my mouth when i’m alone or like i will have an inner monolouge sometimes but that’s not talking to myself? i guess idk hahah it’s not like my brain is silent if i’m alone

favorite movies: i don’t really have favourite movies, i do watch movies like dirty dancing, grease, pretty in pink, the breakfast club when i need something comforting because it’s something i watched a lot when i was younger

coffee or tea: i like both but maybe tea since coffee tends to make me nervous

first thing you wanted to be when you grew up: pfff i think a painter or a teacher ohh i just remembered hahahah actually i wanted to be “an adventurer” lmao like some type of explorer that has to do with nature and history and wears that khaki shirt and cargos outfit with boots and a hat

i tag: @midnightpulses @kontra-svijeta @valovita @nismo-na-filmu-zaboga @blu27nature if they want to do it :))

[aller-geez]

༝༚༝༚ Welcome to my particular little corner of Hell •⩊•

While you’re here, feel free to look around~

Hey snzblr, I’m allergeez, geezie, geezus or Remi, but you guys probably know me by my OC, also named Remi. 🖤🐺

I am 28 years old, and go by She/Her. I’m married, and am pan greysexual 🖤

I am also permanently stuck between greyscale goth, and pastel soft bean 🖤

@thekinkyleopard & i have OC babies together that we frequently post new fics & art of,

both snz & non snz 🖤

⟡ Quick Nav ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

⛥ ⨾ OC Masterlist Here .𖥔 ݁ ˖๋ ࣭ ⭑

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₊˚⊹ᰔ Art requests are always open for any of our OCs ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

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Ao3~

「⋆⁺ ☽ Toyhou.se ☾⋆⁺」

You can also find all of our characters with more detailed backstories and photos on my toyhou.se, and there’s a link to each characters profile on the masterlist by their names~

I created my main OC, Remington (Remi) 13 years ago with my friend, @thekinkyleopard , owner of Levi, (she also owns Connie, Alistar, Biziil, Elex, and Sy) and have been using him ever since (he’s super fun and adorable to torture >:3)

Fun Fact!: I started going by Remington 9 years ago, because of my OC 🖤

I love to draw and otherwise make art, and sometimes I like to write, even if getting it perfect takes a little time. I frequently post my art of my main OC, Remington, and his mate, Levi, as well as the occasional fic when the creativity allows lmao. I do always have my requests open to anyone (any of my own, or Kezzie’s thekinkyleopard OCs only!)

Despite my name, I don’t have any allergies, and I honestly don’t snz very much (THOUGH I TRY, TRUST ME >:C) so WAVs aren’t my thing /: though I’ll probably appreciate yours 🫠

Tags include: #geezieart, #geeziefic, #geezierant, #geezieanswers, #geeziespeedpaint, #geeziegif

(Kezzie posts 98% of the fic content, and I draw the covers for her fics. She posts snzfics bc she loves me, and some vanilla, as well as full canon lore if you’re interested!)

What I’m Into:

Sneezing (obviously~) M & F

Whump (fever/illness/injury), otherwise H/C

Contagion

Stoic/Angry/Strong characters getting sick/injured and needing to be taken care of by someone they would usually be protecting (IM LOOKIN AT U REMI BBY)

Spray 🖤

Domination/Pushiness (BDSM dynamics)

Pet Play

Slight Embarrassment but nothing too crazy

Vulnerability

Being snzed on 🖤

What I’m NOT Into:

Excessive mess (I know.. 🤡)

Pedophilia [MINORS DNI! ]

Humiliation/kink shaming

Super loud/startling snzs

Emeto

If you’ve made it this far, thank you!

And thank you everyone for helping me reach 250 followers 🖤

It means the world to me honestly to have that many people interested in my art and love my snotty, grumpy boy Rem just as much as I do 😭😭😭

I really do not appreciate hate, and it will swiftly be deleted and you will be blocked. Thanks for your cooperation!

— Geezie, the real Remi ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

[kakairu-rocks]

We are excited to introduce our next shining star for the Creator Spotlight... My_Private_Tsukuyomi!

This is an activity where we reach out to one of the talented people in our community each month to find out all about them and their kakairu creations, and then show them off to the world!

We hope you enjoy learning about My_Private_Tsukuyomi & her creations as much as we did. Please give her some love ❤️  

Pronouns: She/Her

Type of Creator: Writer

Where to find her:

AO3

Discord: My Private Tsukuyomi

Read the exciting interview below the cut, or on the forum!

If you would like a chance to be in the spotlight too, the only thing you have to do is be a member of the kakairu rocks forum or follow us, and be a kakairu creator; and we will contact you, ourselves!

1. How long have you been creating KakaIru fanworks?

Since January 2023

2. What are you working on right now?

I’m working on a Modern Day AU KakaIru Sugar daddy/baby fic with a twist. Iruka is the high-powered CEO type with a huge philanthropic streak but is trying to battle a hostile takeover that includes a marriage/business merger. Kakashi is a disgraced, down on his luck veteran. Kakashi needs a job and Iruka needs someone on his arm in public to stave off the marriage pressure but also someone capable of protecting him at events. But what neither expected is that the lines between the job and real feelings would get blurred so quickly!

3. What is your favourite trope to create for?

Angst with a happy ending seems to be my specialty. Kakashi and Iruka suffer a little, but that just makes the final resolution all that much sweeter.

4. Which of your creations is your favourite, and why?

Right now I’d have to say one of my latest creations, The Road of Life. It uses scrapbooking as an opportunity for Iruka to travel down memory lane to look at a life well-lived and well-loved with Kakashi. I tagged it MCD but it isn’t permanent - I could never permanently separate these two!

5. Do you have any WIPs you’re excited about?

Surprisingly enough I’ve only got the one WIP right now, which I described above. I have some half-formed ideas, but I haven’t started anything else yet. I think I’m waiting to see what the next theme will be on the kakairu discord server. I love meeting those monthly challenges!

6. Do you have any original characters? If so, tell us about them!

My first fic featured an OC female ANBU badass named Minako. I created her before I turned to writing KakaIru, realizing how perfect Kakashi and Iruka are together - they are canon, just mostly off screen. But yet they connect enough on screen to convince me that they are meant to be.

7. What was your hardest piece to create, and why?

I think I’m having the most trouble with my WIP because it’s completely different from anything else I’ve written. Plus I want it to be a bigger, multi-chapter thing with real world-building. That’s always a challenge.

8. Do you have any favorite scenes from something you’ve created?

I do! One of my favorite scenes is from my first KakaIru fic Of Romance and Holidays. Kakashi takes a candy conversation heart that says ‘be mine’ and carves a little question mark and the letter K into it before leaving it for Iruka to find.

My other favorite scene is from The Road of Life, when Iruka and Kakashi meet for the first time after the Pain attack. Iruka tries to tell Kakashi he wasn’t worth Kakashi’s sacrifice, that he’s nothing. Kakashi interrupts and tells Iruka that he is, in fact, everything.

9. Where does your inspiration come from?

My inspiration comes from many places. I often dream in KakaIru, so sometimes those dreams become fics. I also draw inspiration from songs. Three of my fics are based on song lyrics. Finally, I draw inspiration from the wonderful folks on the KakaIru discord server Forbidden Scrolls of KakaIru. The prompts and challenges posted there are phenomenal.

10. Which of your creations is the most meaningful to you, and why?

I don’t think I could choose just one. All of my creations are a piece of me. It’s both delightful and terrifying to share that piece in my fics, and it is humbling that people actually read and enjoy them. Thank you to all of my readers. You, like Iruka to Kakashi, are everything.

[themaladaptivewriter12]

Title: Fate or Fate?

Part 2 of my "16-Bit Heart" series! Part 1 here

Summary:

After Mirai gets accepted to his new Guild, The Underworld, fates starts to play little games with Mirai's heart as he begins to come to the conclusion that he has a crush on the Iginihyde Housewarden, Idia Shroud.

cw: None!

Reblogs are appreciated, just use my custom tag, #TheMaladaptiveWriter12, if you do!

Cross posted from my Ao3: TheMaladaptiveWriter12

“Ba-bum! Welcome to our guild house,” Gloomurai droned, his character doing a little spin, his arms out doing jazz hands. 

Mirai laughed at Gloomurai’s antics. The Underworld was an overgrown stone manor. It wasn’t too big, but it wasn’t too small either. It was three floors, the outside a dark gray stone, with vines adorned with vibrant blue flowers crawling all over the exterior. The windows were lit with a warm gold glow that seemed to make the whole place look cozy, despite the foggy cloudy rain weather. 

Inside it looked like a cozy little cottage, and like the others said, there were cat decorations everywhere. The pillows, the rugs, the blankets, even the clock were either cat patterned, or cat shaped. But other than that, everything was inviting.

“Anything you can interact with, you can use,” Gloomurai said. “There are crafting tables in the workshop, stoves in the kitchen, and forages in the basement.”

“Practical,” Mirai, playing as Apollo said. 

“IMO, it makes better sense that way than to have everything piled up outside like everyone else does.”

Mirai agreed. Back at home, whenever he had played games like this, storage always went in the bedroom, food related crafting in the kitchen, the crafting table in the workshop or living room, and the forage outside. 

“I have a guild chest that I restock every week. You’re more than welcome to take and add as you please,” Gloomurai droned. 

“Cool. Thanks,” Mirai said.

“You, you don’t have to thank me.”

“But I want to.”

Gloomurai cleared his throat, “A-Anyways, now that you’re a permanent member now, allow me to give you the rundown.”

Gloomurai explained how the guild was run in more depth. Apparently the guild cap was actually one hundred, but Gloomurai liked to keep it as a smattering ten, yet his guild was still the top five in the entire server. When Mirai asked why and how he kept it that way, his response was “I hate people and dedication.” But that’s why he was such a stickler for doing dailies and raids. In this game, Guild Power was evaluated on the Dungeons and Sever Events, it didn’t matter if you had the full one hundred, if you didn’t raid, you didn’t rank. 

By the time the Guild Leader finished explaining how to optimize EXP, Mirai was dozing. Mirai checked his phone and it read four in the morning. 

“You’re gonna wanna put the majority of your EXP into your healing stats, then your health, then your shield. The rest will go into combat. I want to make sure your health is high enough for you to survive, we don’t need you to be too brawly, we need you to heal. Ya feel me?” Gloomurai rambled.

Mirai just hummed.

“You tired?”

“Yeah, a li-” Mirai yawned, “sorry. Yeah, a little.”

“Then let's head off. I’ll send you a link to our Keyboard server. We share our strats there. We talk there sometimes too, but we don’t share anything too personal. Make sure you DL it and register under your gamertag, and not your IRL one.”

“Ok, will do. Good night.”

“GN.”

It had been a month since Mirai joined the Underworld and he was having so much fun. Each and every one of them were high school students, Mirai included, so I made things a lot more relatable. When they had tests or homework they’d complain together, and even made a secondary Keyboard server for homework help. But Mirai was happy. He had more friends, online friends, and it was different. 

He had attended two dungeon raids, participated in a Server Event, and even participated in a Guild War. And Mirai had gotten to know his guild members all the while. For their raids, they split up into two teams of five since only teams of five could fight at a time. Mirai was more than happy to be on Gloomurai’s team, while the rest were on the Vice’s team. There were ten levels they had to pass, and if they were successful, there was a huge chest full of drops that would spawn at the end. Mirai had gotten so much EXP the first time, that he leveled up twice. But now at level forty-five, he was stronger, and closer to his Milestone Level. 

Gloomurai had explained that at each Milestone Level the player had to make a decision, and each was different. Mirai’s last one Milestone had him choose between more hp or more ap, but this next one, Gloomurai said he’d have to make a decision affecting his class. Mirai couldn’t wait, because that meant he could open the next part to his skill tree for his character. But none of this could happen if it weren’t for his Guild Master, Gloomurai, he had helped Mirai like he said he would. He helped tailor his character, not just for the Guild and his class, but for Mirai as well. 

It was Friday night, they just had a successful raid. Khan, Rocinante, and Leslie, Mirai’s raid team members, had logged off for the night. The other five, GotSkill?, War Machine, PixieStic, Fafnir, and the Vice, MetaBoy, had also logged off. Mirai wasn’t sure if their Guild Master logged off yet, his headset had been dead silent for about half an hour now, but Mirai didn’t mind, he was just tweaking his character in the mirror, changing armor, and checking weapons. 

 After equipping Apollo with a new harp, and a new dancer’s outfit, Mirai stretched, looking at the time. It was only midnight. Thinking it was much later, which it wasn’t, Mirai got up to check on Grim. He had found the little monster in his room, scrolling on his tablet. They had found early on that Grim’s paws were too big for the phone screen, so they compromised and got him a tablet. He could call on it, watch videos, and use Magicam all the same. 

“Hey Grim, Ima head down to the vending machine, you want anything?” Mirai asked, getting Grim’s attention. 

“A bag of shrimp puffs,” Grim said excitedly.

“Gotcha.”  

Mirai made his way down towards the school, it was kinda chilly outside, the wind was blowing a bit and Mirai honestly wished he had bought his jacket. Mirai still found it astonishing that the school left the side door unlocked. Anyone could get in at any hour, much like how he was about to do, but they could do something so much worse than buying junk food. And of course there were vending machines outside of the building, but the one inside was the only one that carried the caramel flavored chocolate bars. It honestly was dangerous and very stupid, but at the same time, Mirai was glad, it meant gummy worms, and chocolate at any hour of the day.

Finally making it to the side door, Mirai pulled it open and quietly made his way to the vending machine. Just because it was unlocked didn’t mean he still couldn’t get in trouble. Passing empty classrooms, Mirai was just about to turn the corner when he heard someone’s voice. Quickly, Mirai stumbled back, his heart in his throat as he hid behind the wall. His heart was pounding, his hands were sweating, and a small voice in the back of his mind was yelling at him just to turn around and go to the one outside Sam’s shop. But curiosity got the better of him, and Mirai peeked around the corner and spotted a big ball of blue. For a second he had thought it was Grim, but he remembered he left the cat monster at home. But after he looked again, he found that it was a person, a student at that. Mirai sighed in relief, glad he wasn’t about to get in serious trouble, and turned the corner, heading towards the guy.

Mirai guessed the guy hadn’t seen him coming until he was next to him, for the serious face the blue haired student was just sporting morphed into something akin to terror the moment he realized he wasn’t alone anymore. The guy jumped with a shriek, slapping both his hands over his mouth, as he stumped backwards. Mirai gave a small apologetic smile, waving, but the guy just stared at him, beautiful gold eyes wide in fear.

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Mirai said, chuckling.

The blue haired guy didn’t say anything, nor did he move from where he shoved himself against the opposite wall. Mirai just shrugged and put his Marks into the machine. He got Grim’s chips first, making sure Grim got his share, then his chocolate bar next. He got his gummies and last was his Blue Raspberry Wendigo Energy Drink. Mirai definitely didn’t need it, but he loved the taste. And just as Mirai thought he was in the clear, his drink got stuck on the way down. 

“Huh? Oh, c’mon,” Mirai grumbled. 

Of course something like this had to happen. He wasn’t even supposed to be in here, the guy was still standing by, waiting his turn, and now his drink was stuck. And he had a game to get back to. Great, just great.

Mirai stood back before shoving his right arm into the machine. Nothing happened. Mirai groaned, smacking against the outside, nothing. Mirai whined hopelessly. He didn’t have any more Marks, he had only bought enough, but he didn’t want to leave his drink, and to top it off, he probably looked like the dumbest loser to this guy right now. 

“Sorry, dude,” Mirai apologized. “Uh, lemme, uh, lemme try one more time and if it doesn't drop, you can have it.”

Mirai didn’t wait for a reply as he grabbed what he could of the machine and tried to rock it, it didn’t budge and all Mirai did was strain his shoulder. Mirai sighed and gave up. 

“This sucks,” Mirai muttered to himself. 

Mirai turned to the guy. He looked kinda mad, and Mirai felt bad. 

“S-Sorry, man. Didn’t need it anyways. Uh, consider it a gift for putting up with me, well, if you can get it out, that is,” Mirai rambled.

All Mirai got was silence. 

“Well, see ya,” Mirai waved, jogging out of the building, leaving the blue haired guy and his drink behind. 

Mirai slept in the next morning, thanking his past self for switching shifts at Sam’s to the closing shift. He spent his afternoon cleaning, finishing his homework, talking with the ghosts, and before he had to leave, Mirai fed Grim. Mirai hated leaving Grim, but someone had to pay for their food expenses, and Grim sure wasn’t going to.

The closing shift as Sam’s was always unpredictable, hence why Mirai always preferred the opening shift. The morning shifts were always slow and quiet, picking up towards lunch. The midday shift was utter chaos, but predictable, which is why he stayed away from it when he could. But the closing shift was different. Some nights it was jam packed with students, but others, it was slow and quiet. Mirai wasn’t too keen on busy nights, he liked being able to chill and talk with Sam, not fight with hungry Beastmen and overly rowdy party planners. 

Luckily tonight wasn’t too busy, the clientele dwindling as it got closer to closing. Sam whistled to the radio as he took inventory, pen scratching away at his little notepad, while Mirai manned the counter. Mirai was staring off at the clutter at the shop when his phone pinged, it was his Keyboard Server.

PixieStic: Anyone wanna farm mobs?

GotSkill?: I’m game XD

Leslie: give me 5

Roci: Wait for me darlings! <3

Khan: GROSS

Roci: QQ

War Machine: I gotta study (-_-)

PixieStic: F

Fafnir: F

Leslie: f

Roci: FFFFFFF

GotSkill?: what about you Meta

Metaboy: I’m busy right now.

Leslie: Apollo??

Apollo: I’m working

Leslie: :O

GotSkill?: :O

War Machine: :O

Roci: :O

Apollo: LOLOL

Boss: F for respects

Khan: my condolences

Roci: Boss!:D

Boss: Hey

Fafnir: I thought you were a high school student

Apollo: I am. I have a part time job

PixieStic: Suckz to be you

Khan: LOLZ

Leslie: LMAO 

MetaBoy: I think it’s a good thing!

Apollo: Thx Meta XD

The bell on the door chimed, signaling they had a customer. Mirai jumped up from his phone, quickly sending a text to the chat that he had to go. Mirai didn’t see who it was, but he hoped they did take too long. Mirai swayed to the radio as waited, and waited, and waited. Mirai huffed, whoever this was, they were sure taking their time. 

Mirai was about to pick his phone up once more when a plume of blue caught his eye. Mirai looked up and was surprised, it was the guy from last night, and apparently the dark lighting of the NRC hallways didn’t do this guy justice, because in the bright lights of the shop, Mirai could actually make out this guy's face, and Mirai was absolutely floored with this guy's looks. The guy was tall, pale, and gorgeous. His blue hair was like fire, it flickered and danced as if it had a mind of its own, and Mirai was distantly wondering if it was hot to the touch. His teeth were pearly white and sharp as the bit at his glossy blue lips. Mirai was honestly astonished with the different types of people he encounters on a daily basis here, from Beastmen, Merfolk, and now guys with fire for hair, it was really like he was in a fantasy RPG. 

Mirai tried to get himself together as the guy slowly put his purchase onto the counter so Mirai could ring it up. The guy had an air of melancholy to him that seemed to waft off of him in waves. His amber anxiety filled eyes, lined the deepest eye bags Mirai had ever seen, darted around the room as fiddled with his sleeves. He was anxious, and Mirai couldn’t help but to feel a little bad for him.

“That will be two fifty,” Mirai said, stretching his arms over his head. 

The guy just nodded, pulling the crumpled Marks from his pocket and placed them onto the counter. 

“Would you like a bag for that?” Mirai asked as he put the currency into the register.

The guy nodded.

Mirai carefully bagged the items and scooted the bag forward.

“Thanks, have a good evening,” Mirai said, the words more genuine than they normally were. When you had to use the same formalities over and over, it got old pretty fast.

Mirai didn’t get a word back as the guy hurriedly took his bag and rushed out. So the guy was an introvert, Mirai didn’t mind, he was still hot, he was just kinda bummed about not being able to hear the guy's voice. 

“You think he’s good looking, don’t you, Little Imp?”

Mirai jumped with a gasp and Sam cackled wickedly. Mirai pouted, face flushing as he crossed his arms petulantly. 

“I jest,” Sam laughed, “I jest.”

“So what if I think he’s cute,” Mirai pouted. “Like, half of the student body are hunks and pretty boys.”

“But you’ve taken a liking to Shroud.”

“Shroud? Is that his name?” Mirai asked intriguingly. 

Sam laughed, “Shroud, Id-”

Sam was cut off by a flurry of Scarabia students. 

“Hey, Imps,” Sam said, switching to business mode, “What can I getcha?”

They never got to finish their conversation.

Mirai’s week had been absolutely jammed packed with stuff, and he barely had time to do his dailies. The Freshmen had a history project due the following week, Ace and Deuce got Mirai in trouble with Vargas, Kalim all but dragged Mirai to one of his “get togethers”, Mirai was late to homeroom on Wednesday and by the time Friday rolled around, Mirai was exhausted. 

Mirai had just finished helping Professor Crewel when he got a notification that there was an emergency Housewarden meeting in the next ten minutes. Mirai groaned, turning back down the road to Ramshackle and headed to the Hall of Mirrors to fetch Malleus, keeping his end of the bargain that he promised to Lilia. Once Mirai made it to Diasomnia, ready to fetch the wayward Housewarden, Silver had informed him that Lilia actually just left with Malleus the very exact meeting Mirai was supposed to bring Malleus to. Mirai just thanked him numbly and turned around. Now he was late. 

Mirai sprinted across campus as he tried to make it on time. He despised being late, it was humiliating. All the eyes looking at him as he entered the room, full of scorn and disappointment, it was horrible. Mirai was even tempted to skip and feign sickness. 

Mirai was so close to the Headmage’s Office when he was stopped by a ghost.

“Hey, are you headed to see Headmage Crowley?” The ghost asked.

“Uh, uh, uh, y-yeah?” Mirai huffed, chest burning.

“Oh, good. You can take these then.”

The ghost didn’t even give Mirai a chance to say anything as he dropped the stack of books into Mirai’s arms and literally dissipated into thin air. All Mirai could do was get the last of his dwindling brain cells together as he stood there, mouth agape. 

Mirai was officially late, as he struggled to carry the books to the Headmage’s Office. Upon making it to the door, Mirai slumped against the wall next to it, trying to figure out how he was gonna get them inside. Mirai closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. The entire week was a nightmare and he still had to Dungeon Raid after this. Hopefully he wasn’t late for that as well. 

As Mirai was cursing his own existence, he hadn’t realized a student walking up to him, until he heard footsteps. Mirai jumped, eyes flying open when he was once again met with the guy he was slightly crushing on.

“You’re in the way,” the table that the flaming haired student was holding said.

Mirai was surprised. Was the guy mute or something? Mirai was curious, but he wasn’t gonna be rude about it and ask.

“O-Oh, oh, yeah, sorry,” Mirai stammered. “Lemme just-”

Mirai backed up towards the door, but what he didn’t know was it was actually left ajar, so instead of meeting solid wood, he flew backwards. Mirai cursed loudly as he stumbled backwards into the room, all eyes on him as he toppled over, books flying everywhere as he hit the ground, a couple smashing him in the face. Mirai could hear laughter, mostly Leona’s and Ruggie’s as he groaned, rolling over as he held his nose. Was it broken? Mirai was sure it was broken. And if not, it was bleeding. 

“You’re late, Mirai,” Riddle scolded.

“I wouldn’t have been, if a ghost hadn’t made me his delivery boy,” Mirai groaned, standing up. 

Mirai wiggled his nose, sniffing experimentally, it was sore, but it wasn’t bleeding or broken.

 “And don’t think I forgot about you, Idia,” Riddle shouted, pointing his scepter at the blue haired guy.

So his name was Idia, Idia Shroud, Mirai thought as he picked up all the books. At least Kalim, Trey and Rook were nice enough to help. Mirai watched as he flinched, typing really fast on his tablet before it spoke.

“I didn’t feel well,” it said.

“That’s your excuse for everything,” Vil chided. 

“Do you know how long we had to wait for you?” Riddle gruffed. “Why must you always make things so difficult?! You are a Housewarden! Act like it!” 

Mirai could see Idia start to curl in on himself, and Mirai felt bad. 

“Sorry, Housewarden Riddle,” Mirai said apologetically. “I’ll try to be on time next time.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Riddle huffed, seemingly to settle down at Mirai’s apology. “Let’s get this over with.”

The meeting wasn’t too long, and too important. Crowley just wanted their opinions on cafeteria food. They were to have their dorms fill out a survey and bring it back by next week. It was pointless. Couldn’t he just have sent an email or something? But in the end, it was a waste of time.

After the meeting was over, they all ended up walking back together. Mirai didn’t mind, Kalim and he filled the walk with idle chatter, as Leona and Malleus, and Riddle and Azul bickered, much to their Vice’s chagrin. Vil was silent as he looked over what looked like a planner as Rook happily tailed him, and Idia took up the rear, listening to whatever was playing in his headset. 

Upon the bend, Mirai kept walking and the group stopped.

“Where are you going?” Kalim asked innocently.

Mirai chuckled, “Ramshackle.”

Kalim’s eye went wide, “Oh yeah! Well, have a safe trip!”

“Thanks,” Mirai waved.

Back at Ramshackle, Mirai had just enough time to cook, which was instant Ramen, use the bathroom, and set up before he had to be on. In the game, the others were already readying themselves, so it seemed he was the last one to log on. 

“Hey guys,” Mirai greeted.

“Apollo,” Roci cheered.

“Sup, dude,” Leslie greeted.

“How was work?” War Machine asked.

“Same old, same old,” Mirai said.

“What do you do?” Gloomurai droned.

“I work at a convenience store,” Mirai said, heart skipping a beat.

Mirai couldn’t get over how sexy his Guild Master’s voice sounded coming through his headset. It was like blue velvet, all silky, and the gravely edge it had scratched at his brain. This guy really needed to do an audio book or one of those ASMR things, Mirai wouldn’t care if he was reading a Doctoral Thesis or talking politics, he’d listen just to hear the guy talk.

“What’s that like?” came MetaBoy’s high pitched boyish voice.

“Just scanning, bagging, and fake formalities. Nothing special,” Mirai shrugged, even if they couldn’t see it.

“I work in a restaurant,” Khan said. “It’s all fun and games until you run out of breadsticks during the dinner rush.”

The chat was filled with laughter. 

“You scrubs ready?” Gloomurai asked, his character jumping up and down.

“Hey,” PixieStic yelled, “We are not scrubs!”

“Yeah,” GotSkill? shouted, “The only scrub here is Apollo!”

Mirai gasped. “I resent that!”

“Less talkin’ and more fast traveling,” Gloomurai chuckled. 

“Yes, Boss,” Rocinante cheered.

“Aye, Sir,” Mirai said, teleporting to their location. 

“Alright! Dungeon Raid is a go,” Fafnir laughed.

After his morning shift, and a quick run through his dailies, Mirai spent the day in the library. His history project was due on Monday and he hadn’t even started it. He needed to pick a location and give a very detailed essay on the topic. He needed a name, location, population, climate, and the magic history of the place. Mirai was at loss. He knew nothing of this world, and that made things much harder. He didn’t know which places would give him a good report, which places were easy topics, and what information would be correct or incorrect. Ace and Deuce weren’t any help, the two picking their birthplaces. Their countries? Islands? Whatever they were called here, and Mirai had nothing. The Isle of Sages was off limits, which made things harder, and Mirai was pretty sure he was gonna fail. 

It was late, like really late, he was three energy drinks in, and Mirai was still pouring over textbook after textbook. Grim had long since left, saying he was tired, and so did Ace and Deuce, lest they wanted to miss curfew. The library wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be at night. Yeah the floating books were a little jarring, and the quiet was kinda unnerving, but all in all, it was peaceful. 

Mirai, after hours of looking, chose Port O’ Bliss. He was honestly kicking himself for not choosing that sooner. Sam and him were close, so he was pretty sure Sam wouldn’t mind helping him out. With renewed vigor and a sense of freedom, Mirai shot from his seat, ready to get some well deserved sleep. 

“If only I could do America,” Mirai muttered grumpily, “This would’ve been done with.”

Mirai made his way around the room, putting back everything he used, making sure it was where he found it. Mirai really didn’t want to get in trouble, especially by Riddle for the books not being where they were supposed to be. Mirai made his way to the Geography section when he caught a flash of blue. Heart skipping a beat, Mirai peaked through the books when he saw him. Standing in a secluded corner was Idia Shroud, leaning against a shelf as he poured over a thick grimoire. It was as if fate was playing a twisted game on Mirai, and he wondered if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Mirai was surprised that he never heard or saw his blue haired upperclassmen with how long he had been there, pouring over his studies, but then again, maybe that was why. Mirai realized he was being creepy, spying on the poor guy as he was minding his own business, and not wanting to get caught, or continue to violate this guy’s privacy, Mirai went to put his book back. 

Finally at the Geography section, Mirai realized the book’s home was two shelves too tall for him. It was Deuce who had got this book for him, and with the Heartslabyul Freshman being taller than him, Mirai wondered if there were any ladders or stools anywhere. Mirai tried standing on the tips of his toes as he tried to put it back, it didn’t work, he was still far too short. Mirai’s next plan of action was to try jumping, but that ended up with a book flat against his face. Mirai groaned, rubbing his forehead as he glared up to the empty spot.

“Just you wait, you stupid, you stupid, ugh, whatever,” Mirai grumbled, feeling stupid that he was literally threatening an empty spot in the bookshelf.

Mirai tried again, standing on his toes as he tried to put the textbook back, and just as he was about to get eight hundred pages to his face yet again, a larger hand caught the book, slipping the book back where it belonged. Mirai whipped his head around and immediately flushed at the sight of his savior, Idia Shroud. He was giving Mirai the most unimpressed look, a thin eyebrow raised in question.

“A-Ah, uh, Mirai chuckled awkwardly, “Thank you.”

Idia nodded.

The two just stood there awkwardly. Mirai wondered if Idia had something to say, or if he was waiting for Mirai to say something. Although, Mirai already had thanked him, so what else could he be waiting for? 

“Uh, well, sorry for troubling you, have a nice night, Idia,” Mirai said, waving in parting. 

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, the day before Monday, it was always the worst. The battle between trying to enjoy the rest of your weekend against the impending doom of Monday was always stressful. Sam was willing to help Mirai flesh out the majority of his history report, giving him the information that he needed. Mirai couldn’t thank Sam enough, because now he could get a grade. 

Sam manned the counter as Mirai sat beside him, writing his report. He was so grateful for Sam that Mirai hadn’t the words to express his gratitude. Not only had he given him a job, he let Mirai choose his hours, what shifts he wanted, he gave Grim and him discounts, let Mirai choose what he ate for a snack without pay, and now he was letting him do his homework on the clock. Mirai wanted to cry, but wasn’t going to, especially not on the clock. He’d cry and express his gratitude later, but, then again, Mirai had an inkling that he didn’t have to, Sam always seemed to know what he was thinking. So as Mirai did his report, Sam would just smile and ruffle his hair every so often, and Mirai knew that his thanks were already well received. 

It was close to closing when the bell on the door chimed. Both Mirai and Sam looked up, and low and behold, it was Idia. Mirai was pretty sure Twisted Wonderland was playing some kind of trick on him, but he still couldn’t figure out if he should shoot his shot or give up entirely.

“Hey, Little Imp,” Sam called, giving Idia a wave. “What can I getcha today?”

Idia looked as if he was about to say something, but the moment he spotted Mirai on the stool beside Sam, he clammed up, his shoulders going up to his ears. Mirai didn’t take it to heart, he figured he wasn’t used to talking around people he didn’t know. Mirai didn’t move to make any conversation as Sam purposely made Mirai ring Idia up, the guy looked ready to jump out of his skin. But Mirai did pay attention to what Idia was purchasing. There was a truckload of sweets, little cakes, lollipops, gummies, and one Mirai had never seen before, Pomegranate Drops. And the last thing to go up, a Lemon Wendigo Energy Drink.

“Lemon huh,” Mirai muttered, scanning the drink. “Is it any good? I hate the way lemon makes my mouth feel sometimes.”

“Does it matter?” the tablet spoke back. “Lemon flavor has the right amount of sweet and sour, you can’t go wrong.”

Mirai chuckled to himself, but Idia didn’t say anything else.

“Thanks for shopping. Have a nice night,” Mirai smiled brightly.

Idia flushed, seemingly not sure what to do with himself, so he just snatched the brown paper bag off the counter and scurried out of the shop.

One Mirai was sure he was gone, he slouched onto the stool, a dreamy smile crawling its way onto his warming face. It was the first time they really had something close to a proper conversation. And Idia willingly replied to him. 

“So,” Sam said smugly, “That was a start.”

Mirai chuckled nervously, “Y-Yeah.”

“Whatcha gonna do about it?”

“I don’t know, but I wanna try.”

Mirai knew he had just as much luck as oil mixing with water. He could tell Idia would be a tough nut to crack, he was seriously introverted, shy, and it looked like social anxiety, and Mirai would know, he suffered from social anxiety himself. He was aware of the triggers and how it would make Idia feel, but the toughest part was actually getting Idia to talk to him. How does one even talk to someone who absolutely despises human interaction? There had to be a way, there just had to be. And to whatever Twisted Wonderland entity was testing him, Mirai was hoping he got his answers soon.

[ladykailitha]

Stranger Things Fic Master List

Hello! I am updating my Master List so that it's easier to find what you're looking for.

About Me

She/Her. I won't put my age up here because I'm ADHD riddled and will leave the same age up there forever so...just know I joined in 2013.

Long time fanfic writer. I've been writing since 2012. I’ve written for 9 different fandoms though my first and most prolific is that of BBC’s Sherlock clocking out at 62 published stories and an untold number of stories that are unpolished and unpublished. My next prolific and most recent is Stranger Things. I got pulled into Stranger Things by way the Steddie phenomenon that exploded after July by a few different people, but mostly Kedreeva who I started following for Good Omens (which is another fandom I’ve written for).

I love tagging games I just have such anxiety about them (before not having enough people to tag, now afraid of leaving the wrong person out) so I don’t really do them. I want to so badly though. Sorry! Still love everyone who thinks of me though.

I enjoy ask games because I LOVE info dumping. Someone makes a comment or says something nice in the tags and I want to just overflow them with love and information. But I’m never sure how that will be received so I don’t (anxiety really is horrible).

My inbox is always open. Come drop me a line, gush about your favorite story, or just wave hello.

I am pro-ship, pro-back button, pro-kinktomato (your kink is not my kink and that's okay; essentially). I have personal squicks, but I'm not going to call out someone who likes them. I will, if I feel strongly about it, make my own post about it, however. Like Eddie's age and Steve's style. But I won't say anything to you, if I don't like what you post.

I will block, report (if necessary), and delete hate of any kind. Directed at me or anyone else. I leave anonymous asks on, because I'm shy and sometimes like the option to say something without it being linked to this blog and wouldn't deny that of someone else. But hate in my inbox will never be answered.

Every Wednesday, I do WIP Wednesday where I will post which stories I'm working on that week and you can send me asks for your favorites so they get done faster. It's lots of fun so come join me each week.

I have a tag list for each story, but I also have a personal permanent list that I've curated from those that have either requested it or have been such fans that it seems remiss not to tag them in new things. I do have a hard limit of FIFTY per story and yes, that does include those on my permanent list. You can be asked to be removed from the list at any time, I won't be hurt by it. People's feelings change and evolve and if that means they don't want to be tagged, that's fine.

I now has a Discord server where we talk about my stories and you can get previews of my story ideas, help me out with plot problems (be my rubber duck!) and other great perks. Send me a DM if you want the link.

My masterlist only includes my Stranger Things fics, but the tag #ladykailitha writes will have some of my The Sandman headcanons, ficlets and story ideas, too. Everything else is on my AO3.

Story Key

If it has an AO3 tag after the summary, it's been beta'ed and posted on that site. No tag? Not up there yet.

If there is a (+) after the title that means I think it has the potential for a longer story.

If there is an (*) after the title it means I have expanded it to a full fic and the link to said fic will be the post itself.

Any thing brackets () will be major ship (usually Steddie), number of words, and rating. If there is no ship, that means there wasn't one.

The rating will usually be T for teen but there are a few that aren't. G is general audience. M is mature (this usually sex, but also sometimes dark themes) and E is explicit. I don't think I have anything that's rated E, but if I do it's sex.

Completed Stories

Ficlets (Less Than 1000 Words)

MORP (Steddie 233 G)- Steve hosts backwards prom for the misfits and freaks of Hawkins that wouldn’t fit in at the regular prom (not limited to the LGBTQ kids, but that was the main draw).

El Hopper, Avenging Fury (Steddie 249 T)- Steve dies in the aftermath of defeating Vecna and El has some opinions on that.

April Fools (Steddie 288 G)- Steve and Eddie gets couples t-shirts from Dustin. Eddie is amused, Steve not so much.

Erica and the Carebear Movie (308 G)- Missing scene: Mike and Dustin go to Erica to get her to play with Hellfire and meet more resistance then they expected. All because of a movie. Or author finds out Carebears 2 came out the night of the game/session and makes it Mike and Dustin’s problem.

Feral Steve (340 T)- Steve being rescued from having gone feral at the end by everyone.

Cat Dads (Steddie 444 T)- Eddie brings home a box full of kittens only intending to keep one, only Steve falls in love with one of the other kittens.

Steve and the Stick of Life- (Steddie 451 T)- Steve makes a deal with an other to protect those he loves, the catch? Every time he protects someone it burns up a little bit of his life, shortening it.

Smooth Operator Steve- (Steddie 500 T)Steve decides to ask Eddie out. He cranks the charm up to eleven.

Sun-kissed and Moon-glow (Steddie 525 words G)- Rockstar!Eddie and Model!Steve on the red carpet. Steve gets asked about the grumpy one being in love with the sunshine one. Steve’s response is surprising as it is thoughtful. (Steddie 525 words G)

Sad Eddie Time (Steddie 683 T)- Eddie realizes that Steve’s been giving him adoring looks when he sees that look on Steve’s face with his new girlfriend, Becca. (Ends happily)

The Rake and the Knight (Steddie 745 T) - Steve and Eddie are both gay, but hide it in very different ways. Steve sleeps through the female population of Hawkins High looking for a connection. A rake of the highest order. Eddie charms his way out of dating by being so chivalrous (having them home by nine, only kissing their hand) that they tend to break it off with him as they seek for more.

Target (Steddie 702 T)- Steve has something to prove to Eddie. A boy who has been running all his life from people who hate gays. Eddie worries that dating Steve will put a target on Steve’s back. Too bad Steve’s into that. AO3

Thirteen (Steddie 803 T)- Steve comes out to Robin, Nancy, and Eddie, saying he’s known since he was thirteen he liked boys. All thanks to a boy that was kind to him his first day of middle school. Eddie hears the story with some shock and more than a little awe. He was that boy. AO3

Love is Loving the Person For Who They Are (Steddie 871 G) - Just Eddie tell Steve he’s perfect the way he is, no changes required. AO3

Short Fics (1000-5000 Words)

Steve’s Bad Date (Steddie 1046 G)- Steve goes on a date with another guy to a haunted house, the date ends badly when Jeremy pushes Steve at the actor to get away. The actor gives him the fake ax to chase his date. From that one TikTok video. AO3

Whatever You Need, I’ve Got It- (Steddie 1300 T) Steve just picking up whatever instrument Corroded Coffin needs to fill out a song and suddenly he's on tour with them and Eddie still isn't sure how it happened.

I’ll Be Your Knight (Steddie 1336 T)- After Eddie is back home from the hospital, he hears a strange sound outside his window. Click Strike Fwoosh Clack. Repeated, over and over again. AO3

The Rockstar and The Teacher (Steddie 1547 T)- Steve and Eddie have been together for a decade, but due to Eddie being a rockstar and Steve a teacher, they aren’t out to the public, Steve isn’t even out at all because of the stigma around gay men and children. But it all comes crashing down when someone decides to take the choice away from in the most brutal way possible. Steve goes into crisis mode and comes out swinging.

All My Firsts Belong to You (Steddie 1655 G)- Steve finds out he’s the side piece for his first boyfriend when said boyfriend posts his engagement to a woman on social media. A boyfriend none of his friends are aware he had. Eddie finds him on the verge of a breakdown and they learn some important things about each other. AO3

A Gentle Bloom- (Steddie 1842 T) The love between Eddie and Steve blooms, as Steve blossoms into the complete person he never knew he needed to be.

Skate Circles Around Everyone (Steddie 1907 T)- Steve can’t skate. Well. That’s not strictly true. He hasn’t skated since his dad decided it was feminine and Harrington boys don’t skate. So he’s a tad embarrassed by the fact that not only does Eddie skate well he should be out there winning gold medals and shit. But Eddie decides to teach Steve how to skate instead of showing off on the ice.

The Promise (Steddie 1915 G) - Eddie is caught looking at Steve’s bookshelf, but when Steve shows him his favorite book, a little note flutters out of it. Intrigued Eddie has Steve tell him the story. A story that as it goes on, Eddie recognizes. Because Steve’s first kiss? Is Eddie’s too. AO3

Love is Kind (Steddie 1942 T)- Steve finds out his girlfriend was only with him because she thought he was rich. And breaks up with her on Valentine's Day. He's got everything laid out for the perfect date, so he calls Eddie to help him eat it. Turns out planning the perfect date is easy when you learn that love is supposed to be kind. AO3

Crossroads (Steddie 2049 words G) - Steve has a choice. Either go back inside with his mom and give up everything he has fought for in the last five years and live the life his parents want. Or he can runaway with Eddie. Just get in his van and drive forever. AO3

It’s Just a Kiss (Steddie 2420 T)- Steve loves it when Eddie talks. He gets so excited. But Steve keeps getting distracted by a place on Eddie neck, that he just wants to taste. Normally Steve impulse control is iron clad. Not today. AO3

Howling For Yule Conclusion- (Steddie 2867 words T) Steve and Chrissy hold the first ever Yuletide Ball for all the members of the supernatural community. Lessons are leaned on and off the dance floor. Conclusion to day 10 of the 12 AUs of Christmas.

Telling it Like it Is (Steddie 2884 T)- Jonathan and Steve don’t even like each other. But Jonathan knows that there are something that only he can say that Steve would accept. He just didn’t think it would spiral like this. AO3

Fake Boyfriend (Steddie 3060 T)- After most of the older teens have gone off to college, Eddie goes over to Steve's to hang out. When he finds Steve on the phone with one of his co-workers, he tells Steve to pretend Eddie is his boyfriend to get the guy to back off via notes on his notebook. It works better than he could possibly dream as the more Steve describes his "boyfriend" the more it sounds real. AO3

Soft (Steddie 3224 T)- Steve gets Eddie a necklace with the money that he had put down on ring for his very newly ex-girlfriend. Everyone around Eddie is telling him it’s an act of love. Eddie isn’t so sure. AO3

I See You Shiver With Antic--ipation! (Steddie 3495 T)- Eddie and Robin are taking their friends to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show where they all dress up. Only thing don't go quite according to plan when Steve gets self conscious about his costume. Now it's a race to get the belle to the ball, Eddie has just the fairy godmother in mind, his old friend Janice former Hellfire Club member and now makeup artist. 

We Love Steve (Steddie 3700 T)- As far as love confessions go, that couldn’t have gone worse for Eddie. Especially since it ends with Steve crying in his arms because he thought the confession was a joke or prank. Because no one would want Steve. He’s bullshit. Eddie tells the party and they decide to throw a surprise party. His birthday would be best, but an “We Love Steve” party would work in a pinch. The problem? No one knows when Steve’s birthday is. Cue Eddie to the rescue. Holy Shit, Steve’s birthday is Halloween. AO3

New Year’s Eve (Steddie 3816 words M)- Sequel to The Magic of Christmas Steve’s Christmas present to Eddie makes for a wonderful night out, Steve’s mom, be damned.

The People That See You (Steddie 4178 T)- Eddie makes a stupid comment about Steve trying to impress his old friends, only for Steve to overhear it. Now Eddie has to fix it and he doesn’t know how. Only there is someone in his friends that use to hang out with Steve in middle school. Cue Brian (the unnamed CC member) spilling the beans on Steve Harrington. AO3

The Rise of the Fallen (Steddie 4603 words G)- On the ten anniversary of The Fallen's eponymous debut album, the band decides to do an unmasking. This is the interview with Variety journalist Karla Lopez. SEQUEL TO ICARUS AND AROUND THE WORLD READ THEM FIRST!!!

Exit Eddie Pursued By Steve (Steddie 4788 M)- Eddie sees Steve in the ugly step-sister ballgown and likes what he sees, so Steve invites him backstage after the play. Things take an interesting turn when Steve suddenly marks Eddie as his boyfriend. Every doubt, every insecurity Eddie has is almost instantly foiled by Steve’s inner romantic. AO3

Mid-length Fics (5000-15000 Words)

A Valentine’s Day to Remember- Steve hates Valentine’s day. It’s bad enough when you’re in a relationship. But way worse when you’re single. Enter Eddie to rescue. Steve’s POV (Steddie 5276 T): AO3 Eddie’s POV (Steddie 5032 M): AO3

Meet Me On the Dance Floor (Steddie 5578 T)- Steve, Robin, and Eddie take Will to his first gay bar after he turns 18 and awakens somethings for Eddie when he finds out Pretty Boy Steve is bisexual. And doesn’t dance. Well he does, but like a drunk muppet. Mike finds out and learns some pretty deep shit about himself he didn’t he had buried. Deleted Scene AO3

The Places We Hide (Steddie 6667 T) - A series of moments where Steve wants to be found. And learns to ask for help. AO3

Sir Steve, Knight Protectorate (Steddie 6733 words T)- After the events surrounding Will Byers and his return to life, Steve has decided he can't control anything in his life but school, so he seeks to put a stop to the bullying. Cue Eddie getting heart-eyes over popular King Steve protecting his little sheepies. So he decides Steve needs a knew title. Sir Steve, Knight Protectorate will work just fine.

The Subtleties of Steve Harrington (Steddie 6960 T)- Summary: Steve has a problem. One he really doesn’t understand. The people closest to him think he’s straight. Well, there are few exceptions. He just wasn’t expecting Eddie and Robin to be in Camp Straight Steve. In a series of vignettes about the people closest to Steve and Eddie finding out that maybe Steve is subtler than they thought. 

Staking My Claim (Steddie 6962 T)- Steve gets rescued twice by the Corroded Coffin boys when someone seeks to stake his claim on Steve. Steve wakes up under the tender of the Corroded Coffin boys and finds out that family can be found when blood relatives fail you.  AO3

Everything I Ever Wanted (Steddie 9698 words M) - Sequel to Not All That Glitters is Gold. A series of vignettes about things Steve wanted in the first story that he wanted that he was able to achieve through his relationship with Eddie.

What Do Shovels Dig? Graves (Steddie 9711 words T)- After Steve has breakdown when Jonathan comes to talk to him thinking it’s another shovel talk. When Jonathan finds out that other than his family and El, everyone has given Steve a variation of the talk, he runs to Eddie. And between the Byers, El, and Eddie, they force the Party to realize the harm they’ve caused and makes them apologize, too.

Ser Stephan of Harring’s Town (Steddie 10222 T)- The gang finally convinces Steve to join the next campaign. But to help him out Eddie and Dustin create the character based on Steve, their own beloved tank and barbarian. They learn more about the hidden depth of Steve. Extra

Little Runaway (Steddie 10,500 M)- Steve’s on the run from his dad when outs himself as gay. So Dustin turns to the least likely of help. Eddie Munson. Eddie doesn’t even like Steve. But he’s a Munson and Munsons’ have a thing for strays. Extra AO3

The 12 AU of Christmas Series (Steddie 10615 words Various)- A series of Christmas ficlets based on my many AUs that I’ve written over the years. Each one will be from 500-1500 words and will have links to the original fic. Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12

The Eddie Munson Guide to Dating an Oblivious Jock (Steddie LuMax 11150) - After Vecna Max is having trouble convincing Lucas to date her again so she turns to the one member of the party who is dating a jock: Eddie Munson. He breaks down his tips for dating an oblivious jock. Bold = the guide. Italicized = their conversation. Standard = examples Eddie is giving Max for each step. AO3

Sweet Surrender (Steddie 11570 words M)- After the events in Paper Hearts, Eddie and Steve navigate their first date, their first time, Eddie's friends, Steve's ex, and prom! It's a lot, but they'll make it through.

Across a Crowded Room (Steddie 12840 words M)- Modern, no monsters AU. After they all graduated from high school the older teens drifted to other parts of the country. And while Steve and Eddie have made short trips to see each other, usually with the whole, they really haven't spent much time in the same room in years. That all changes when Eddie is able to spend a week in Chicago with Steve and Robin. But when Eddie sees Steve for the first time in years, he gets scared. Will have the courage to walk across that crowded room to be with Steve?

Long Fics (15000+ Words)

The Magic of Christmas (Steddie 17012 T)- Businessman Steve hires artist Eddie to do painting of the Party’s D&D characters for Christmas. Watch as over the next six months as the two men fall in love.

Paper Hearts (Steddie 17027 T)- Hawkins High is selling paper hearts to help raise for senior prom. $3 for red romantic hearts and $1 for pink friendship hearts. Steve hasn't dated anyone since the horrific breakup with Nancy on Halloween and so he decides that he's going to send pink hearts to senior girls who wouldn't normally get any hearts at all. When Eddie hears about this he can't help be intrigued. It goes against his very well curated Munson Doctrine. But as events keep throwing them together, Eddie learns there is more to King Steve then meets the eye.

A Love For Christmas (Steddie 18730 words T) - Steve is a business man charged with planning his dad's company Christmas party. Christmas has never been a good day for him, so he's a bit of Scrooge as far as the holiday is concerned. So when he meets tree farmer Eddie Munson, the man decided to show Steve what Christmas means. And maybe with a little Christmas magic Steve will find more than just a love for the holiday, he'll find love for Christmas too

A Love Connection- (Steddie 18832 words T)Steve has tried everything under the sun to find someone to truly connect with, so he gives up after a particularly horrible date. Then Chrissy introduces him to her favorite game show "Love Connection". When Chrissy and Robin apply for him, they don't think they'll accept him, but he does. His suitors are Billy Hargrove, Tommy Hagan, and Eddie Munson. Will Steve crash and burn again or will his connection be there waiting for him?

Around the World (Steddie 19010 words M)- After a grueling tour, Steve wants nothing more than take a vacation with his boyfriend and just be regular people for three months. Only Eddie isn't just anyone, he's the frontman for the world's most popular heavy metal band. So Chrissy and Robin come long to act as beards (provided they keep their hands off of each other long enough). Join the fruity four as they travel the world looking for the spooky, the kooky, and the alltogether weird. SEQUEL TO ICARUS READ THAT HERE FIRST.

If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too? (Steddie 19435 M)- Steve realizes after the aftermath of Vecna that he’s in love with Eddie. When he finds out that he was trying to get enough money to get to the Ozzy Osborne/Metallica concert in Indy in a week, he decides to woo Eddie via the most important concert of Eddie’s young life.

Batshit Soulmates (Steddie 20590 words T)- Soulmates were granted to a vast majority of the human population. And of those that didn’t have them, the best they could figure out was that they didn’t need soulmates because they were the best humanity had to offer. Of those that had soulmarks they were related in someway. A pair of different colored hearts. Matching flowers. Things like that. And when you met your soulmate they glowed the same color and felt warm to the touch. Steve hasn’t met his yet. All that changes when Eddie Munson is accused of murdering Chrissy Cunningham. (Just an excuse to have Steve and Eddie fighting off the bats together back to back, really)

Sweet Home Indiana (Steddie 20825 words T)- Sweet Home Alabama AU. Eddie is a successful tattoo artist in Seattle and is engaged to be married to Chrissy. Only there is one problem. Well, technically three. You see, back before the Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage was a right and not a privilege Eddie had gotten married in a couple of different states to different people. But now that's it's legal, he's a bigamist and he has to get his exes to divorce him. Which is easy enough for two of the three, not so much for the third. You see the third just isn't just any ex, it's the ex. Steve Harrington. So now he has to go down to Hawkins and try to convince the person he thought he was going to spend his life with to divorce him. Something much easier said then done, especially when Eddie finds himself falling back in love.

In the Midnight Hour (Steddie 20985 T)- Steve thinks that Eddie’s night visits are Vecna toying with his mind. Until one night Steve comes to the starling realization that Eddie IS back and it’s up them to save him. 

Grief (A Friend Indeed) (Steddie 22212 T) - Eddie and Wayne have to go back to Kentucky when Eddie's grandmother (and Wayne and Al's mother) passes. Steve comes along when Eddie suggests that he would feel better if he came. Along the way they learn about each other's pasts and find out that they are each other's future.

The Harrington Pattern (Steddie 26980 words T)- Steve is a secret history nerd who likes to sew. By example he teaches the younger members of the party that not conforming to societal standards can look different for everyone.

Star Child (Steddie 27100 words M)-Steve Harrington formerly of the boy band The Kings, is set to co-headline with Corroded Coffin Indiana’s first Love Loud concert as they are all hometown boys from Hawkins. Steve suggests a duet with frontman Eddie Munson. Low Key in Love, by The Struts and Paris Jackson. Sparks fly as Steve tries to court the frontman Low Key. But this is Steve, when has he ever been low key? Meta Extra Scene

Never Hold Back Your Step (Steddie 31065 words T)- Continuing after “Can Anybody See Me?” Steve is struggling after the play trying to navigate his new relationship with Eddie, dealing with Nancy finding out he’s gay (and her bad reaction to that info) and just trying to keep it together. He graduates from high school but Eddie doesn’t. He doesn’t get into college and now he’s stuck trying to pretend to be “King Steve” so that his spunky new co-worker Robin Buckley doesn’t find out he’s gay. And oh yeah what’s this about Russians in the mall? Steve is cursed, he just has to be. The Boy With a Bat Book 2. 

The Hellfire Exotic Club- (Steddie 32252 words E) The Hellfire Exotic Club was the hottest ticket around. The best male and female exotic dancers in the whole god damn state with each night a deadly sin. When owner, Eddie loses his Envy because the guy fucked the wrong person, he has a week to find a replacement. But when Steve auditions with Julia Michael's Heaven, it turns the entire club on its head. Now Eddie must deal with the usual nut jobs trying to close him down, dancers not liking the new changes, and his former Envy causing trouble, all this on top of having budding feelings for Steve. But if Eddie is anything, he's resilient and stubborn. Come hell or high water, him and his club is going to come out of this just fine.

Of Butterflies and Backstrokes- (Steddie 32435 words T) When a freak accident at his third Olympics left him with migraines and a fear of deep water, Steve thought his Olympic dreams were dead—until delinquent Eddie Munson arrived at his pool to do community service. Steve witnesses Eddie's swimming talent and realizes his dreams don't have to be over. Now it's a race to get Eddie Olympic ready in two years. Steve's going for gold, but Eddie might have other interests in mind.

Oh, For a Muse of Fire!- (Enemies to Lovers Steddie 34275 T) Steve just needs to pass one class in order to graduate from college and get his art teaching degree. Live Figure Drawing. A class as far as he is concerned is cursed having failed it a total of three times. Only now Joyce Byers is teaching the class with Eddie Munson as her model. He’s going to fail, he just knows it. Especially since Eddie is more than a little hostile and Steve can’t figure out why. AO3

All My Roads Lead Back to You (Steddie 37530 T)- It’s been twenty years since Vecna was defeated and Eddie and Steve have gone their separate ways. They are suddenly thrown back together when their kids join the same band. Will they finally realize that what they’d been looking for their whole lives is each other or will they miss out on true love? Again.

Not All That Glitters is Gold (Steddie 37890 words M)- Steve is an escort with Starcourt Services, who provides omegas to alphas with the money for all sorts of accommodations: arm candy at social events, rut servicing, multiples (including orgies), and sometimes, just sex. Steve is highly sought after, but after a run in with Corroded Coffin frontman Eddie Munson at a fundraiser for a US senator, his world is turned upside down. No monsters/omegaverse AU. Rockstar Eddie/Sex Worker Steve. Mature (especially in later chapters). BTS Meta Further Meta

Can Anybody See Me? (Steddie 39594 M)- I just wanted to write a fic where someone notices that Steve isn’t the same person anymore and see him and the changes he’s made. Because I hate how everyone dogs on Steve for being the dumb jock in seasons 3 and 4. * * First Book in the “The Boy with A Bat” series

Well Met by Moonlight (Steddie 41570 words M)- Steve is the Harrington Pack alpha. Eddie is the newly bitten vampire outcast. They are the most unlikely duo but somehow they find a way to make it work. Especially when strange happenings keep occurring in their small town. Who can they trust?

Icarus (Steddie 52895 words M)- Eddie and Corroded Coffin make it big and Dustin is their biggest fan. Or was. His new favorite band is The Fallen. They’re very theatrical and it drives Eddie up the wall. Until Dustin drags him to a concert that will not only change his mind. But rock his world.

Royal Pain (Steddie 58461 T) - No Monster Modern AU. Eddie and his band, Corroded Coffin, have a steady gig at a bar in Indy where they play every weekend. Eddie's life takes a left turn when his regular tattoo artist, Max Mayfield, moves to New York with her boyfriend Lucas Sinclair, newly traded to the New York Knicks. Now needing a new tattoo artist, Jeff recommends "Royal Pain", which even Max agrees is a good shop. On arrival, Eddie is shocked to find Steve is the shop's artist. They hit it off, and slowly move from the barest of acquaintances to boyfriends. Meta 

AO3 Exclusive Stories

Stories that aren't here on Tumblr.

In order of published:

Eddie’s Big Stevie Rescue- (Steddie 3647 words T) Eddie goes out to a bar in Indy to blow off some steam. But the bar is lame and he decides to leave. But before he can get even two steps from his booth, Steve Harrington literally falls into his lap. A drugged Steve that is need of help. Eddie to the rescue.

This Wound Is More Than Skin Deep- (Steddie 4126 words T) Eddie and Steve are struggling post Vecna with their wounds and Eddie blows up at Steve and sets off a series of events that changes how they see each other.

My Sweetheart- (Steddie 1448 words T) Steve breaks down after hearing Eddie call someone else ‘sweetheart’ and revelations are had.

Bravery- (Steddie 3682 words M) Eddie is a virgin and wants Steve to take it. Steve agrees provided Eddie agrees to be his boyfriend. Eddie agrees.

Home- (Steddie 3250 words M) Eddie finds Steve naked in his bed, so he does the decent thing and sleeps on the couch. In the morning there are revelations in and out of the bedroom.

Love Story Alibi- (Steddie 4810 words T) Steve decides to get Eddie off in the most unhinged way imaginable. At a town hall meeting, lying about... well pretty much everything. Almost.

Works In Progress

The Caged Bird Still Sings- (Steddie 54790 words M)- Steve has hit rock bottom, after his dad catches him making out with his boyfriend on the family sofa, he gets kicked out and loses his job. Determined to at least have one more thrill before he spends the rest of his life in his car, he heads to the Hideout to get drunk off his ass and maybe tempt someone into bed so he can have a bed to sleep in for the night. Instead he catches the eye of Hawkins native and metal frontman Eddie Munson who decides he’s going to take care of him. Sugar Baby!Steve and Sugar Daddy!Eddie. Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21

The Au Pair Boy (Steddie 33534 words T)- Eddie Munson is a in bind, set to go on a three month reunion tour, he is in need of nanny for his twin girls Janice and Joan since his partner, Ethan blew up their lives a year ago. Enter nanny extraordinaire, Steve Harrington. Both men struggle with treading the line between boss/nanny and their strong attraction to each other. Will Eddie learn to trust again? Will Steve realize that he was always meant to be right there by Eddie's side? Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12

Spellbound (Steddie T) - It's a quiet, idyllic life in the town of Hawkins. For everyone but Eddie Munson. You see, his look and cottage scream witch. The long, curly, dark curls, the black clothes, and dark and broody cottage all point to Eddie as a witch. But no. That title belongs to Steve Harrington down the way. In bright and cheery house, dressed in green and a sunny disposition. Things start turn in the town when Chrissy shows up on Eddie's doorstep thinking he's the witch. Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5

The Last Dragon Slayer (Steddie T)- Fifty years ago, dragons who had once been scarce had suddenly taken over nearly every mountain, vale, valley, and cove. Humans, frightened of their new neighbors fashioned and trained dragon slayers to rid themselves of the beasts. Sir Steffan, once a prince, is the last of these slayers. He roams the land looking for the dragon that killed his mother on the day of his birth. He's starved, cold, and homeless when he gets the call from King Richard to rid the king of the black dragon Edgewraith. Pt 1 Pt 2

Share With Me One Love, One Life Time (Steddie T)- Final entry in the Boy with a Bat series (here and here). Starts off right in the middle of the action at the beginning of season four and will continue past that to their happily ever after. Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3

You’re a Dream to Me- (Steddie M)- In a world where dreams show your true soulmate when you need them most, Steve has been having his for years but because his soulmate isn't ready yet, he's never seen what his soulmate looks like. Eddie has been having dreams about Steve Harrington since high school but more in the vein of wet dreams rather than soulmate. But when Brian's soulmate turns out to be a sweet girl who hadn't heard a heavy metal song in her life, suddenly Eddie realizes he needs to stop expecting his soulmate to look a certain way. Pt 1

Snippets, Headcanons, and Rants

Plot Ideas

Steve’s Meltdown- Steve gets overstimulated when everyone is calling his name. Ideally a great idea for a comic, not sure I’ll do anything with it.

The Cutting Edge AU- I’ve gone into detail on this, so I’ve put up the link here. Steddie

Munson: Unsolved- An idea I had for an no monster AU here. Steddie

*The Fallen- Steve in a metal band like Sleep Token were the band wears masks. Steddie

Can You Speak Truth to Power- Medieval AU. King Steve and jester Eddie. Everyone else is here too. 

Continued Medieval AU- The masquerade at the end of the story.

*Omegaverse- My idea for a Steddie omegaverse if I were to do one.

*Season 1 AU- King Steve turns over a new leaf and forces his friends to do the same.

*Strip Club AU- Eddie runs Hellfire Strip Club and is their top dancer. In comes Steve and rocks his world.

Stardust AU- My rundown of what I would do with the ST cast in a Stardust AU.

Feral Steve and Kas Eddie- just an AU I had that had Steve in the coma at the end instead of Eddie and Eddie waiting by his bedside.

Midsummer’s AU- Steve is a foundling of Titania and Oberon. Yup that Titania and Oberon.

Code Pink- What started out a cute little idea for a one-start ballooned in what will probably be a full series at this point.

*Werewolf!Steve and Vampire!Eddie World Build- my write up on the world of my latest AU I’m working on. It’s going to be fun! Let’s hope I actually get vamp sexy times, because my two other attempts at Vampire!Eddie(Kas technically) have been angst fests so...yeah!

Scarlet Pimpernel AU- Just a little idea about Steve as Sir Percy by day and the Scarlet Pimpernel by night.

Vecna’s No Good, Bad Time Travel Trip- Henry Creel tries to time travel to make sure he isn’t defeated. Only he keeps making it worse for himself. Like way worse.

The Dating Game- Steve is the contestant and Billy, Tommy, and Eddie are his choices. This is Steddie, so of course he picks Eddie.

Twofer- Secret Garden AU and *Steve is a tattoo artist AU.

In Plain Sight Crossover- Eddie goes into WITSEC after Vecna and he and Wayne gets new names. All is going well, the Party has mourned and moved on for the most part. Jimmy (Eddie) and Nate (Wayne) are happily in their new lives. Until Tommy Munson comes back and kidnaps Wayne because he thinks Wayne is in WITSEC due to hiding lots of money. Eddie has to contact Steve for the ransom money.

Famous!Steve and Rockstar!Eddie- Steve is former reality star and Eddie is frontman for Corroded Coffin. Eddie meets Steve at a club concert and finds out that his “fans” bullied him for not dressing like a metalhead and refuses to perform. The next day Robin shows Steve the video of the rant Eddie gave before walking off stage and Steve realizes it was about him.

Little Black Book Snippet- Eddie uses his little black book he keeps for his drug deals (for accounting purposes mainly) to get Steve out of a jam involving a same sex honey trap.

5+1 Steddie Fic- Five times someone walks in on Steve and one of the older teens thinking they’re having sex but they aren’t and the one time everyone walks in on Steve and Eddie actually having sex.

*Reconnecting AU- Steve and Eddie’s kids are part of a rock band together. Harry Munson on guitar and Edie Harrington on drums. When the kids realize their dads are each other’s biggest what ifs, they decide to set them up.

Stevie Slut Hour- Steve likes to cruise gay bars dressed as someone else, Eddie meets him during one of these tours and doesn’t know it’s Steve. He finds out later, though.

Pride & Prejudice AU: Steve is Darcy, Eddie is Lizzy and the gang’s all here, too.

Insane Asylum Steve: Steve has a breakdown as disassociates the plot of the TV series, with the cast making appearances in Steve’s life in different ways.

Gran Turismo AU- Steve and the rest of the Scoops Troupe is the best pit crew in NASCAR but his world is turned upside down when the owners stage a stunt season of players of the game Gran Turismo. Eddie is assigned to Steve’s crew. Enemy to Lovers, speed run. ;)

*Sweet Home Indiana- Eddie finds himself in a bit of bind when he goes to marriage license to marry to Chrissy and they tell him he’s still married to the guys he married before gay marriage was legalized a cross the country. So now it’s a race against time to get divorced so he can marry Chrissy. Two of them are easy, the third one? Not so much. Steve Harrington isn’t just any ex. He’s the one that Eddie always regretted letting go of. Sweet Home Alabama AU.

LadyHawke AU- How I would do a Ladyhawke Steddie and keep it medieval.

*Sugardaddy!Eddie and Sugarbaby!Steve AU- How I would put my own spin on this AU for Steddie.

Steve’s Worst Nightmare-  Steve thinks he’s living the dream when Eddie tells him that everyone hates him. Only maybe things aren’t as they seem. (angst with a happy ending)

Capt. Eddie Munson and the Star- Pirate Eddie falls in love with a star and proves that stars CAN love you back. A bit PotC/Stardust crossover. A tiny bit.

Bouncer!Eddie and Drunk!Steve- Steve gets too drunk to function and Eddie takes him home. Base off a pic I saw on Facebook.

Steve’s Rizz v Eddie’s Filter- They both win. Steve hasn’t been laid in awhile and Eddie offers to be the willing participate, feat. their friends taking bets.

*Olympic Steddie- Steve trains Eddie in swimming for the Olympics.

Dead Boy Detective AU- Eddie as Charles and Steve as Edwin and sprinkle in the rest of the cast for funsies and go to town.

Steve’s Rewind- Steve’s family has a rewind device that allows them to change an event. He’s done it twice and now he’s going to do it again. Angsty AF.

Noir AU- Steve is a PI, Robin his partner, Nancy is the femme fatale, and Jonathan and Hopper are cops.

Mafia AU- Eddie got a mobster off of a conspiracy to commit murder charge and is now under his protection.

FB Fanfic Prompt- I got enemies to lovers, historical, and time travel. Yeah, baby, let’s go!

Amnesia AU- Steve vanishes and Eddie is blamed. Two years later Eddie meets Aaron. Only Aaron looks suspiciously like Steve but he doesn’t remember anything since he woke up in hospital with no wallet no keys, and no memories.

*The Last Dragon Slayer- Sir Steven is the last dragon slayer hunting down the dragon that killed his mother. Edgewraith is a dragon he’s sent to kill.

Steve is Powered- Steve’s mom was a test subject of Brenner’s and got her abilities.

Serial Killer Steve and PI Eddie Munson- Steve is a killer of serial killers, Eddie is a former suspect of one of his murders turned Private Investigator. When Steve turns to writing after he retires. Eddie figures it out, but the books are sooo good. So he lets it slide, until Steve needs his help.

*Soulmate Dream AU- when you're ready to meet your soulmate, you start seeing them in your dreams.

*Photographer Steve and Model Eddie- Eddie is one of the biggest models around, he’s also the biggest man child around. Photographers hate him. Then enter former war photographer Steve Harrington who only works with his crew.

Headcanons

Department of Energy- An ask I got from a nonny about Steve’s dad being Brenner and my headcanon that Sr Harrington is HEAD of the DoE.

Halloween Costumes- Eddie, Steve, and Robin dress up as the main trio from Star Wars.

Steve and Robin’s Tattoos- my thoughts on what those might be.

Eddie and Steve Arm Wrestle- I had been seeing a couple posts and a comic, saying/showing Eddie being obliterated in an arm wrestling match with Steve. And this was my headcanon on that. Eddie would cheat. :D

Corroded Coffin Headcanons- just my thoughts on the boys in the band.

Eddie and Nancy are Cousins- in which I propose Eddie isn’t Nancy’s half brother, he’s her cousin.

Rants

Steve’s Style- Just a little rant I did about how people keep trying to change Steve’s style to fit with Eddie.

Dear ST Fandom- My reminder to fans to put the Corroded Coffin boys in post season 4 fix-its and give a reason Eddie is at Steve’s instead of home with Wayne. (People don't this much anymore but it was a problem when I joined.)

Eddie’s Age and Ships- My rant on how we forget that Eddie is much older than most of rest of the cast and how that reflects on the ships.

Character vs Author Knowledge- This was about "The Harrington Pattern" but it extends to all stories really.

Would Steve Stay w/ Max or Eddie at the Hospital?- A rant I went because someone was stupid in the steddie tag.

Steve isn’t the douchebag everyone claims he is- just my thoughts on season 1

Takes Me Out- just things that send me out a fic.

Eddie’s Hair and the Unnamed Freak- just me ranting about people always putting Eddie’s hair up in fics and the Dougie problem.

Eddie’s Buzzcut and Steve’s Connection to Hawkins- what it says on the tin

Fandom Wank- My thoughts on shit going down in the Stranger Things fandom at the time (Jan. 2024)

Eddie’s Physicality- I rant about how the fandom seems to think Eddie is a clumsy, weakling, outdoor hating nerd and I how I strongly disagree.

Closeted Steve- Just a little rant I had on Steve’s sexuality

Steve is a HAM Nerd- My headcanon that Steve loves history, art, and music. HAM!

[genshinresource]

All resources in the AIO links were uploaded before Jan 13, 2024. THIS BLOG WILL NO LONGER RECEIVE UPDATES | NOTICE POST. 

AIO link for Assets | Illustrations | Magazines & Manga

Please read the warnings before you decide to follow or interact with this blog.

It’s been a while since I last updated the navigation post, and since I’ve made a few minor adjustments in all of this blog’s current pages, I thought I should make a new easier-to-read one now. This post might be long so I’ll keep the main content under break.

IMPORTANT WARNINGS / BYF/BYI

First things first: I know there are a lot of complaints regarding miHoYo/HoYoverse’s character design and representation etc. etc. but tbh I don’t care and don’t want to give any duck about it either. I’m cool with people’s headcanons but I don’t want to see comments about real life social issues or politic shit in the reblogs, therefore I WILL BLOCK THOSE WHO DO SO IMMEDIATELY if I ever see any. If someone’s brain lacks the ability to separate fiction from reality and chooses to vent their bs here, I have all the rights to boot them out. Feel free to unfollow and block me if you don’t like how it sounds, take your complaints to miHoYo/HoYoverse/COGNOSPHERE directly, don’t do it here, thank you.

Secondly, this blog contains UNMARKED SPOILER, is NOT spoiler-free and will never be spoiler-free. However, I will never post leaks or any content related to leaks. All contents you see here were officially released by miHoYo/HoYoverse/COGNOSPHERE and/or their respective owners in-game and/or publicly by the time they are posted. If you’re not comfortable seeing any content(s) here, please consider blocking/muting/filtering respective tag(s).

BLOG NAVIGATION

» Tags Page «

This page is the main masterlist of this blog. All tags assigned in this blog are grouped into categories and there’s a filter at the top of the page if when you want to see specific groups of tags. Read this post if you want to save image-type media in the largest size possible.

» Character Tags Page «

Nothing much to introduce here. There’s a filter box to the right where you can filter characters by their Vision elements, nations and sexes. Click on a character’s avatar to go to their tagged posts.

» Emotes Page «

This page is the emote masterlist. All Genshin emotes in this blog will be added here soon after they’re posted in the newest -> oldest order.

» Namecards Page «

A gallery of all in-game namecards. Each namecard has its name shown when you hover your mouse over it. If you want to get the full-size image of any card, right-click on it and select “Open image in new tab” or just “Save image as”.

» Main Birthday Artworks/Birthday Shorts Gallery «

A gallery for main birthday artworks/birthday shorts. You can filter them by year, characters’ nations and sexes using the filter box on the right side. Switch between main birthday art and main birthday shorts by clicking the dots under each artwork. More info is in the description box.

» Birthday Shorts (Twins Version) Gallery «

Nothing much to introduce here, it’s pretty much the same as the main birthday art gallery above but it’s for the twins version birthday shorts only.

» Genius Invokation TCG Card Gallery «

There are two versions of the TCG card gallery: Static and Dynamic. These pages use the same filter function that has been used in this blog’s other media pages so I believe everyone won’t have any issues navigating through them. Download instruction is inside the top right description box.

That’s all for now. I recommend bookmarking those pages so you can find your favorite stuff faster. Comments are permanently disabled here so these pages will make your simping life so much easier.

Last updated: January 24th, 2024

[herofics]

Hey! Was wondering if you did suggestive content? (I was about to put slightly but this is very much out there, still not fully down and dirty though I don't think ((unless you wanna go there? 😏/hj)) so don't worry 💀💀)

So I was wondering, Dabi, Toga and Twice separately with a gn!so, right? And the s/o is like very open and expressive with everything, very important to note that it's very, very rare to actually see them like shyly flustered for this next part 💀

So basically, one day they're like in private with their s/o and like they're in the mood and whatever and it's building up to the actual thing but like when they're like just about

The *very* open and *very* expressive and *very* confident s/o just starts acting like extremely shy and flustered / embarrassed about everything... basically just a virgin... but... times... pi. Yes. Times pi.

"Oh my god naked bodies 😃😲😳😳🤯😳🤠😳🤯😳🥳"

"OH MY GOD SEX 😟🤓🙁😎😖😥😦😲🤪🤫😐🤭🤭🤗🤪🤗😝😗🥲🥰☺🥰🙃🙃🥰☺😅😝"

"OH MY GOD WE'RE *BOTH* NAKED 🤯🥳🤠🥳🤠🥳🤠🤯🥵🤠🥵🤯🤠😥🤠😥"

"STOP WHAT IF I DONT DO IT RIGHT 💀💀💀💀"

"UHH ARE YOU SURE ABOUT LIKE... DOING... *THIS*???? 😩😫🤯🥳😈😳😳😳😳"

Puts their arms around their head (kinda like deku actually! Just remembered he does that with homegirl uraraka) and just blushes at the fact that they're maybe, possibly, PERHAPS gonna go down. Honestly also just thinks about how beautiful their s/o is all the while 😇

PLS IM SORRY FOR THIS ITS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR AGES AND IF UR UNCOMFY I UNDERSTAND LIKE BEYOND CONPLETELY BUT AS THAT ONE IMAGE I SAW LIKE MONTHS AGO SAYS

"aw man! I can't find the fic that I want on tumblr! And not even the sickos on Ao3 have it, but I can't go about writing it myself!"

So I'm begging for help to my fav fic writer here 💀 I am so sorry that you had to be cursed with this ask 🙏 I truly am

I made you some HCs, since I didn’t feel like doing scenarios and I can fit more stuff into them. I’ve been meaning to add to the rules that suggestive stuff is okay, and I hope this is okay. Toga is aged up to 18 or over and the guys are with a partner of their own age too. I have this one NSFW Dabi post if you want something actually smutty, it’s older so probably not very good. If someone doesn’t want to see posts of this type, blacklist the tag: suggestive. Thank you for requesting this, it was fun to write

Minors stay away I guess?

~Twice/Jin Bubaigawara~

•Twice has not had an intimate relationship since his incident with the whole personality split thing

•He’s very much into you, but he hasn’t pressured or even really asked about if you would like to get intimate with him, because things are enough for him as they are

•Don’t get me wrong he’s totally down to fuck if you want to, but he doesn’t bring it up

•So when you’re a stammering, flustered mess and you’re muttering about how you don’t know what you should do or what you even like really, he’s telling you he’ll make sure you enjoy it and have a good first time

•When the clothes come off you’re sitting on his lap and he’s kissing your neck and his hands are traveling up and down your sides and back

•He keeps talking the whole time, praising you and telling you how good you’re doing, but there’s probably just a little bit of degradation thrown in there too, because that’s just how he talks and is

•So don’t take it badly, if you’re not into that, he tries to keep it to the praising though

•Twice makes sure to keep asking you if you like what he’s doing, because he needs the reassurance too

•You answer his questions, and ask if you’re doing things right and if he likes what you’re doing, but otherwise it’s all moaning and whimpering from you

•Twice doesn’t care about his own pleasure that much, he just wants to make sure you enjoy yourself as much as possible

~Dabi/Todoroki Touya~

•Dabi hasn’t had many relationships, at least not very permanent ones, it’s mostly been about sex for him with the people that came before you

•But it’s different now, he wants to prioritize someone else other than himself for the first time in a long time

•So when you’re getting a bit hot and heavy and he asks if it’s okay to go further, you’re really not sure what you should say or do

•You get super awkward and whisper super quietly “I’m a virgin”

•Dabi can’t make out what you’re saying, because you’re so quiet, so he asks you to repeat yourself

•You’re a bit frustrated, sexually and just normally, so you repeat it pretty loudly

•Dabi chuckles and goes “It’s okay sweetness, I’ll take care of you”

•It’s pretty slow going at first, because he wants you to be sure that you like what’s happening

•He probably kisses every inch of your body during the whole thing, and you’re very much reciprocating

•Dabi is taking the lead in  the situation, but he makes sure you enjoy everything he’s doing as much as he does

•He can get a bit rough at times, but it isn’t his intention to hurt you, unless you want him to of course

•He doesn’t talk much but when he does, he’s praising you, telling you how good you feel and how beautiful you are

•Afterwards he holds you close and makes sure you feel alright and that you enjoyed the whole thing

~Toga Himiko~

•Toga hasn’t actually really dated anyone before you, not seriously anyway, and even if she did, she would’ve most likely just ended up killing her partner before it got intimate

•So she’s never had sex either, but she is very interested and she thinks you’d be a great person to have her first time with and maybe even experiment a bit with

•So when you’re making out and you’re both starting to feel like you want to take it a step further you ask each other if you’re up for it

•Toga is more on the “taking initiative” side, so when she’s straddling your hips and kissing and biting on your neck, she notices you seem pretty frozen in place

•So she lifts her head and you’re bright red and you’ve wrapped your arm over your eyes

•She asks if you’re okay and you start stammering like “Yeah-yeah, I’m totally fine, nothing to worry about here, no sir, I so-so know what I’m doing”

•Toga giggles a bit, because you’re so flustered and awkward, she just asks what’s bothering you and sits on top of you still

•You kinda squirm and try to avoid the question, but Toga starts tickling you and you give in quickly because you end up barely being able to breathe

•You tell her you’re a virgin and you have no experience with this stuff, so you don’t want to disappoint her or do something wrong

•She tells you she’s not experienced either, and that you don’t know how it is until you try

•You’re both fumbling around, you more than Toga but still

•Toga is taking the lead a bit and you’re both exploring each other’s bodies, inch by inch

•Toga takes your hand and puts it on her lower belly, letting you decide where to go from there

•It’s a great time for both of you, many good times are achieved, many times in a row, by both of you

•Toga bites a lot though, so there is bound to be some blood involved, but not too much, because she is pretty much like a vampire

•In the end you’re both pretty tired, but very, very happy

[hamtigers]

I’ve been here around 12yrs, and when the first attempt at an algorithm was tried, I was among the majority that immediately turned that shit off Tumblr is a blogging site masquerading as a social media site. Not an actual social media site. Control over your feed is essential to keeping what it actually is. It is one of the last bastions of “old internet” where the user actually feels in control of their experience, rather than being fodder to generate clicks and ad revenue through and algorithm.  We like that we curate our feeds, that we get to actually SEE what the people we CHOSE TO FOLLOW are posting without it getting shuffled or drowned out by an algorithm-driven feed!! It’s not hard to figure out how to fill your dash - just search for things you like, browse someone’s blog, and if you like what you see give them a follow. But y’know, with making it increasingly difficult to view peoples actual blogs instead of the neutered mobile-friendly version lately, a lot of the individual user personality is being lost. I hate that I can’t use the little corner tab to direct link to a post on the desktop version of someone’s blog anymore, I have to use the share button that takes you to the mobile version unless I wanna dig thru the blog itself to find the post manually. If you’re so worried about new users not knowing how to use the site bc they’ve been raised on computers doing the thinking for them, then give new users a built in tour that explains the functions. Don’t change the #1 thing that has kept old users like me around, even during the great exodus of the NSFW ban. (Nowhere was better, bc it was all algorithmic fueled bullshit making it impossible to see what I wanted)  Hell, fix the search function if you want creators to be able to be found!! Searching and using followed tags (an old feature that got nuked btw) was how people USED to build communities on this site! People would even make up the most inane bullshit tags to use as a community because they’d all follow it and thus get notified when a friend posted something! (My old skype group used to use “responsible adult problems” since we all met thru this site) I don’t mind the idea of threads in the reply function tho. That’s honestly fine. I hate when someone @s me in a reply but it doesn’t fit in the notification, so I have to take a wild guess at what post it was on, find it, and then scroll thru the replies to see what they were trying to tell me. Which is hell on a viral post. So yes, communication via replies is legitimately clunky as it is if you’re not the OP.

Being able to mute notifications on a post so that you aren’t drowned when it gets popular is also good. And should’ve been made a feature a long time ago tbh. But man, I hate that tumblr live was brought up as an example of the path moving forward. Fuck tumblr live - let me disable it permanently instead of having to go un-toggle and re-toggle the snooze once a week. The reason people have so much vitriol towards it (myself included) is because it’s the first time a new feature has been introduced that felt invasive and forced. Normally whenever something new got rolled out, unless it changed a core aspect of the website like the formatting of the dashboard, users had to the option to switch it off. But tumblr live for some reason has this ‘temporary’ disable that if this is really the route this place is taking, I’m expecting to eventually not even have that option anymore. Fuck an algorithm trying to show me what “25″ posts it thinks I need to see instead of my actual dashboard. When twitter started going more aggressive w/ their algorithm because they wanted their ‘best stuff’ to be viewed first, all it did was hide art and personal posts from friends of mine that weren’t popular, and shunt everything that was already viral to the top of my feed. And then they started putting peoples likes on my feed, completely removing the point of having the difference between likes and retweets. And then it started putting shit that wasn’t even interacted with in my feed, because apparently twitter thinks that I want to see stuff from people I don’t follow just because someone I follow follows them. If I wanted to see it, I’d be following them too! It drives me insane! Literally the only reason I haven’t quit twitter entirely with the fall of tweetdeck (the only way for me to view that dumpster fire in chrono reliably) is because I follow a lot of artists and friends on there that aren’t here on tumblr and I have 0 interest in any other ‘alternatives’.

Hiding duplicate reblogs isn’t the worst thing at surface level, except when you remember that a huge part of the culture here is “talking in the tags”. I personally find an appeal in seeing me and my mutuals all getting excited over the same post, but I can see where that would be redundant to others. So personally, I would want that to be a feature that could be enabled if you choose, not something forced on me. TL;DR if you really are so worried about the new user experience you better make goddamn sure that any changes can be PERMANENTLY opted out of by your existing users. Otherwise you’re going to drive away long-time users, especially those in fandom spaces, in favor of gambling on new ones.

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

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[ynscrazylife]

Hey, here's a Marvel request that can hopefully help with your writer's block. Natasha x Reader where the reader is Tony's protege & a wiz with mechanics. Natasha first meets the reader when the reader is working on a car & she's immediately intrigued. Thanks

Grease Stains | n.r fluff fic

Summary: The story of how Natasha fell in love. 

Authors Note: Thank you so much for requesting! I loved this. 

Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @sniktfam on pinterest

Being the woman she was, Natasha had grown to have quite a handful of memories ingrained into her mind — some so deep they left a handprint on her soul. Some were sad, others angry, and some happy. However there was one particular memory that soared above the rest. It was one of the lucky ones that painted a masterpiece of sunset colors on her soul, and it was the only one to grace her heart. That memory was one that always looped a smile on Natasha’s face, and it was when she met Y/N.

Also known as, the love of her life.

It had been a normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary. Tony had been talking about recruiting a protege - which the rest of the Avengers were against, because he was most definitely going to screw that up - who he’d teach about his technology. Little did she know - he actually did it! His protege was a young woman a couple years younger than Natasha who was not only mentored in the Iron Man and Avengers’ technology, but was a skilled mechanic. 

The spy learned all of this that afternoon when she had come back to Tony and Pepper’s house to drop Pepper off and spotted him and Y/N in the garage. 

“Tony?” She asked as she approached them, eyes furrowed in slight confusion.

Tony snapped his head up from his post where he was working on the coding for an update to Peter’s A.I, Karen. “Nat!” He said, his friend’s presence causing him to smile. He swung his legs over his workbench and jogged over to meet her. Y/N only spared a glance at Natasha, before resuming her work on Tony’s car.

“Who’s this?” Natasha asked, lowering her tone and gesturing to the mechanic with a nod. She couldn’t help how the butterflies began to swarm in her stomach, because the woman was absolutely gorgeous (and had muscles that even made Natasha a little jealous). 

“Oh!” Tony said, glancing over his shoulder. “That’s Y/N! She’s my protege.” 

Natasha blinked in slight surprise before she smirked. “Are you forcing her to fix your car?” She asked, crossing her arms. 

Tony chuckled and shook his head. “No. She was actually going to go on break but saw that there was a problem with my car and offered to fix it. Turns out she’s a mechanic!” He clarified. 

Natasha nodded, thinking, but before she could complete her train of thought, Tony lightly grabbed her arm and brought her over to Y/N to meet her. 

“Hey, Y/N/N! This is Natasha Romanoff, my friend. Nat, meet Y/N,” Tony said before stepping aside. 

Y/N’s head snapped up and she almost lost her balance. “Wait-” she said, glancing at Natasha before her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “You’re Black Widow! Oh my god, Tony told me all about you. You’re such an amazing fighter.” She stood up, smiling. 

Natasha nodded, chuckling. She liked this one already. “Thank you,” she said. 

Just then a loud beeping noise interrupted their conversation - and Tony whirled around to see Karen springing to life. “Let me go fix that - you two carry on,” he said, quickly getting right back into the zone and continuing his coding. 

Natasha just shook her head in amusement before turning her attention back to Y/N. “It’s very nice of you to work on Tony’s car,” she commented, leaning against said car. 

Y/N shrugged. “Yeah, well, why not?” She replied, continuing the small talk but catching a view of herself in the car window. “Shit.” She went to rub the grease stains on her forehead but only ended smudging it since there was grease on her hands. 

Natasha quickly scanned the room with her eyes and when she spotted a clean cloth, snatched it up and offered it to Y/N. “Don’t worry - it just shows you’re a hard worker and . . . it’s cute,” she reassured her. If Y/N didn't return the feeling, Natasha reminded herself she could just brush it off as being her usual sneaky self, but a large part of her hoped that Y/N would return the feelings. 

Y/N lightly scoffed, taking the cloth and mumbling a “thank you”. “Oh, I didn't know that. Guess I should get grease on myself more often,” she said casually, wiping her forehead. Natasha shifted the weight between her legs, thinking that Y/N might not know that she was flirting with her. 

She had to try again. 

The two fell into silence as Y/N resumed her work. Natasha watched her, feeling entranced. As time went by the redhead noticed more cute things about her. How her hair curls lightly bounced and framed her face. Or the freckles that dotted her nose. Time seemed to flow by like a breeze on the beach.

After a bit, Y/N leaned against the hood of the car, taking deep breaths. She was tired and sweaty, but Natasha didn't care. She leaned against the hood of the car as well as Y/N grabbed her water bottle and took a huge gulp. When she put it down, she ended up bumping her knee into the car and instinctively stumbling.

Natasha, who was always alert, easily grabbed her by the arms and caught her before she could fall. Now steadied, Y/N caught her breath and met Natasha’s eyes, just now recognizing that that warm, soft touch was her palms.

The two held their gaze for a couple moments. Time seemed to stand still and everything else fell alway. Y/N got a first hand look at just how stunningly pretty the Black Widow was, and Natasha felt herself captivated by her eyes, unable to look away even if she wanted to.

“Kiss already!” Tony’s yell of encouragement jarred Y/N and made Natasha send a sharp glare his way. But neither of them moved.

“Well?” Natasha asked, raising her eyebrows.

Y/N took a breath, in bliss, and then - not believing what she was doing - leaned forward. Natasha met her halfway and they captured each other’s lips in a meaningful kiss. Natasha pulled Y/N a little closer and Y/N curled her fingers around Natasha’s hands.

After a couple of seconds, they both departed. Y/N was in a daze. That kiss was probably the best kiss she ever had. Natasha was able to snap back to normal a bit quicker and smiled, the ghost of the feel of Y/N’s lips on hers causing a small ache.

“Is there grease on me?” Natasha asked in a whisper after a moment.

Y/N giggled, and then nodded. “Probably,” she answered, also whispering.

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes @kathryndimitrescu @snipyloulou @big-galaxy-chaos @cc13723things

MCU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @summerlovingbaby @ineffablebean @okkulta @procrastinatingsapphictrash @prettysbliss @caseyfish @sarahp-stan @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @xtraordinaryfangrl @peggycarter-steverogers @username23345 @ima-gi--na-tion @yori-nakajima @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mads-weasley @tenaciousperfectionunknown @afraid-to-be-me @lilclownx @acertainredhead @natromanoffxox @lilymurphy03

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

that makes four.

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PART 1

Your feet dangled down from the stool, elbows on the granite counter when Jeff turned around. “Alright,” he said, lips in a thin smile when he revealed the plate of reheated lasagna that someone dropped off in the last few days. “Smells good.”

You looked up at him with an unimpressed stare. “It looks a little disgusting.”

“It’s vegan, I think.”

“Jesus,” you rolled your eyes. “You start one all natural skincare line and people think you only eat plant-based shit.”

He let out a small laugh, set the plate down and watched as you picked up the fork. One bite--mediocre. Not exactly hot enough, but after all Jeff had done for you the last few days, you didn’t have the heart to demand he put it in for another minute.

“So--do you think it went well?”

You laughed around the food in your mouth, picked up a paper napkin and let your head tilt to the side. “As good as a funeral could be.”

The lights in your kitchen were dim and the sun had already faded behind the trees, the house quiet after people finally filed out. Friends, extended family, strangers you’d never met had flocked to Los Angeles for the funeral of your famous father.

It’d been coming from a mile away. His health declined, an obvious result of the cocaine and the cigarettes and whatever else he’d ingested regularly in the 70s. A heart attack a year ago put him on a fast track to the afterlife, but he always joked that he’d probably end up in hell.

Being in the music industry ruined him, in a way--it ruined your parents’ marriage and it ruined a lot of the relationships your father had. Blow outs and big fights that left him exiled from a lot of social circles, sometimes never speaking to people again after one bad phone call. But it was never like that with Irv.

“Well, I’ve never seen my dad cry so hard,” Jeff smiled. “He really loved him.”

Another bite of the soggy noodles and fake cheese. “I know.”

A comfortable silence, the doors off the kitchen were open, a breeze from the backyard let the southern California warmth blow through the sheer curtains when you sipped at your left over wine.

Jeff was the closest thing you had to a sibling, his family was all you had left at this point. You were tossed in the bathtub with him and his siblings as a baby, shoved into family photos and tagged along for vacations.

Being closest in age to Jeff meant people always hoped it would be the two of you that would end up together. Happily ever after or having babies of your own. But when you saw Jeff wolf down a whole pizza at his bar mitzvah, any hope of a spark between the two of you had been permanently extinguished.

His older sister was the one who told you what it meant to have sex, and after your mom died, his mom helped you pick out a dress for your Sweet Sixteen.

She was the one who talked you off the ledge when you found out you were pregnant only a few years later, she was the one who threw you both baby showers and she was the one who helped you through your divorce only six months earlier.

So now that your dad was gone, too, you wondered where you fit into their family and what your definition of family even was.

Before the thought could cross your mind, the front door was pushed open and the sound of high pitched giggles floated in from the foyer.

CeCe’s tiny voice echoed down the hall. “Uncle Jeff?”

“Is that my CeCe?” He took a few steps forward and she ran straight into his legs, he hoisted her up onto his hip when Maeve rounded the corner with Tristan in tow.

“Hi honey,” you opened an arm so your ten-year-old could fit into the side of you. She leaned her head on her shoulder. “How was ice cream?”

The easiest ploy to get them out of the house while you hosted some kind of awkward afterparty.

“Fine,” she sighed. “But Tristan said that funerals are a selfish attempt by the living to hold on to someone after they’re dead.”

You blinked a few times and looked down at her, shocked by the words and apparently, her ability to understand them. You looked over at Tristan, arched eyebrows to communicate how displeased you were.

His eyes went wide when Jeff choked down a laugh. “I didn’t--I don’t know what you’re talking about Maeve.”

You kissed Maeve on the head. “Well, Tristan is wrong about a lot of things, trust me. But you two should go get ready for bed, it’s been a long day.”

You looked over at him again--younger by two years and easily one of the most important people in your life. You met him only a year after you started your business, he had a knack for brand management and eye for design that you couldn’t pass up. He was way too sarcastic and cynical to be your regular babysitter, but Jeff and his family were basically in the receiving line beside you.

Jeff let CeCe climb down and Maeve took her by the hand as they headed for the kitchen stairs to the second floor, leaving you alone at the island with two of your closest friends.

He waited until he heard the water turn on from their bathroom sink, then whispered in Tristan’s direction. “Great idea to say that to a ten-year-old and a six-year-old after their grandpa dies.”

Tristan rolled his eyes theatrically, “she asked why so many people came and why she’d never met any of them if they loved her grandpa so much.”

“Well, you can expect a bill for their therapy in a few years,” you laughed, forking more lasagna into your mouth.

Tristan made his way over to the fridge and pulled out the glass dish, helping himself to a piece when Jeff took a seat beside you. “How are you holding up?”

“Fine,” you glanced at him sideways, suspicious about any ulterior motive he might have.

“Okay, Y/N,” Jeff laughed, Tristan eyed you from over his shoulder like he didn’t believe you. “Let me try again. How are you feeling emotionally?”

You cleared your throat and swallowed the most recent bite of dinner. “Oh, you mean cause my husband left me six months ago and my dad just died and now I’m a single mom with two fiesty daughters who just inherited a giant house aaaaaand,” you drew out the word for dramatic effect. “I’m a business owner who barely gets any sleep?”

“That’s what I was getting at, yes,” Jeff nodded and fought a smirk.

“I’m alright,” you sighed. “Tired. Kind of freaked out about what the fuck is going on in my life, but, I’ll survive. I always survive."

You knew you would--in fact, you’d been waiting for this moment for the last few weeks. When Jeff’s mom called to tell you your dad needed to be put in hospice, you prepared. You talked to Maeve and CeCe and explained it all in a way they’d understand. His life on earth is over, but we can still talk to him and visit a pretty garden to remember him.

It was a lot to deal with only a few months after your high school sweetheart turned husband admitted he’d been having an affair and moved out, you saw on Facebook that he’d since bought a motorcycle and was spending most of his time at bars along the coast. That whole fiasco was harder to explain to your children.

And now suddenly everyone wanted to make sure you were okay. Frozen dinners, offers to drive your kids to and from their extracurriculars, a lot of attention was suddenly thrust onto you and your family, as if you hadn’t always hated that growing up.

But you knew the time would come when life would settle back down. Cousins and aunts and uncles would fly home, people would stop asking how you were doing post divorce. Dust would settle and the sun would set on this chapter and frankly, it couldn’t happen soon enough.

So here you were, the funeral was over, the dinner in his honor at Jeff’s parents, the media coverage was starting to die down and life could return to normal. Or, at least, a new normal.

Your dad had been a fixture in your life--weekly dinner dates with grandpa gave you a minute to yourself after working long days and answering endless phone calls. A glass of wine on the couch or even dinner with Tristan and Zoey was a nice escape from breaking up fights or figuring out how to reattach the head of a Barbie doll after someone shoved someone into a closet and tears and screaming ensued.

“You will definitely survive,” Jeff nodded.

Tristan came and sat, forked into the lasagna and made a face when he realized how bad it was. “Is this fake cheese?”

“Unfortunately,” you nodded.

Tristan made a face and then cleared his throat. “I, for one, think this is the start of a new chapter for you. New opportunities, new love,” he smirked.

A quick retort: “Yeah, that’s obviously the first priority right now.”

“He’s right, though,” Jeff said. “You have a fresh start, a totally new chapter.”

You nodded--they were right, but easing into a new chapter felt a lot better than trying to dive right in.

“Speaking of a fresh start, you know, changing things up,” Jeff forced a grin in your direction. “Can we actually talk for a second?”

You eyed him suspiciously, put your fork down to bow out from eating the world’s worst lasagna. “Yeah?”

“I have kind of a weird favor to ask. And--I know it’s kind of bad timing, with everything going on, but--just hear me out, okay?”

Instead of replying, you watched him, lifted your brows to encourage him to continue and tread carefully.

“So I have a client who isn’t from here, he bought a house but it’s in the middle of getting renovated. There’s kind of been a lot going on, it’s a long story.”

“Okay,” you nodded, unsure where he was going with it.

“He needs a place to stay, and I was wondering if maybe he could stay here for a little.”

“Here, like, here here?” You pointed to the floor of your kitchen, an elegant upgrade from the more modest house in Woodland Hills you’d occupied before the divorce.

Along with the death of your father came the inheritance of his Bel Air estate and all of the bedrooms, the four car garage, the manicured lawn and the pool out back. Some people thought you should sell it, use the cash to make trusts for the girls or save for college.

Selling it didn’t feel right, though. It was the house he worked so hard for, the house you called home for the later half of your teen years and the place you always came back to when things got hard. So instead of putting it on the market and closing that chapter, once again, you returned to the safe haven in the hills when you didn’t know where else to turn.

“Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but you have the room and it might be fun to have someone else around and--”

“I have two daughters, Jeff, I can’t just let a stranger live with us.”

“He’s not a stranger, Y/N, he’s my friend. We’re really close.”

“Who is he?” Tristan asked, waving his fork in the air to remind us that he was still present.

“Harry Styles.”

Tristan’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “The kid from the boyband?”

“No way,” you shook your head, dismissing it before you could even let his name register. “I’m not having a pop star boy band kid stay in my house.”

���Okay,” Jeff held up a hand to get Tristan to relax, then moved to point at you. “He’s 24, number one. He’s not a kid, he’s, like, only a few years younger than us.”

“Yes,” you nodded, “exactly. I don’t need a 24-year-old living with my daughters.”

“He’s not like that, though. He’s responsible and he’s a family friendly dude, and--”

“Then why can’t he live with you? Or with your parents?”

“I don’t have the room,” he said. “And my dad hates house guests.”

You rolled your eyes, it was obnoxious, but it was true. Irv hated having people stay over almost as much as he hated it when your dad beat him in golf.

Jeff took your silence as an opportunity to continue selling you on the idea. “He just finished his tour, he’s working on his second album. He’s probably going to be in the studio a lot, Y/N. Do you really think I would let some crazy party animal live with my nieces?”

Another eye roll from both you and Tristan.

“Is this like, just a few nights?” You asked.

“Like, two weeks. Tops.”

“Two weeks?!” You shook your head. “No--I can’t put them through that after all the shit that’s been going on this year. Why can’t he just stay in a hotel?”

“Cause that’s lonely and he’s a people person and--I don’t know, it might be good for you to have someone around.”

You rolled your eyes that, was it a jab at your new status as a single mom or new status as a fatherless daughter? Unsure.

Jeff stood from the counter and grabbed for his phone on the far end of the island. “Just think about it, okay? I’ve gotta run. A few weeks, built in babysitting, maybe--he’s great with kids.”

“I’ve already thought about it,” you told him, resting your chin in your hand and offering a sugary sweet smile. “No fucking way.”

“Mommy!” CeCe’s voice called from upstairs, you hoisted yourself up, ready to tuck them in and forget that Jeff had ever asked such a ludicrous question.

“I would owe you big time--it might be fun! You’ve got the room, he could be a positive male influence on the girls.” He wiggled his eyebrows at the end of his sentence--like that would really sway you.

“And I’m not that?” Tristan pulled his head back, offended.

“You’re the one who told them funerals are stupid,” Jeff said with a sarcastic smirk.

“And you’re the crazy one trying to let a stranger move in here like it’s an AirBnB,” you shot back at Jeff. “So maybe they do need a better male influence than both of you.”

“Mommy!” CeCe called again, more impatient this time.

“I’m coming!” You shouted. “You, let yourself out when you’re finished eating this terrible meal,” you pointed at Tristan and the lasagna. “And you,” you pointed at Jeff with a smirk. “Please never speak to me again.”

He was already heading for the door, keys in hand when he blew you a kiss. “Love you, see you soon!”

“Love you,” you called back, bounding up the stairs, mom mode activated.

**

A text message the next day when you were at work:

Jeff Azoff (1:43pm): 🙏😇🙏😇

You blew air from your lips, Zoey sat across from you at a conference table when you took a late lunch. She was the first friend you made when you started high school, your long time confidant aside from Tristan and Jeff and a sure bet to tell it like it is.

Now she regularly popped into the Luna offices and she loved nothing more than acting like she was a higher up at your business. She’d rather be doing that than admit she was a new mom with no clue what the next chapter of her life would look like. You had that in common.

Her two-month-old son, Benny, sat in a carrier on the ground, his eyelashes fluttered when Zoey put her feet up on the chair beside her.

“What’s the sigh for?”

“Jeff is being annoying.”

“What’d he do now?”

You looked over at her, nose deep in her phone when you took another bite of the burrito bowl she’d picked up for you. You didn’t know if it was worth it to explain it all. Zoey was excitable, never one to turn down an adventure and her aptly timed identity crisis that came with becoming a mom was sure to make her encourage bad decisions even more.

She looked up at you, suddenly aware of the wheels spinning in your mind.

“Spill it,” she instructed. She put her phone down and let out a breath, clasped her hands and waited for you to fill her in.

“He asked me to let a friend of his stay with us in my dad’s house.”

“Your house,” she corrected. “Deed’s in your name now.”

“My house,” you nodded. “And I feel weird about it.”

“Who’s the friend?”

“Some client of his,” you tried to wave it off as if the name didn’t matter.

It didn’t, really. You’d long been exposed to the rich and famous just because of the nature of your father’s work. He was one of the biggest managers in the music industry in partnership with Jeff’s dad, so you were no stranger to beautiful people with beautiful cars and beautiful homes. When Jeff took on the family business, you only grew more accustomed to it.

“So a celebrity?” she shimmied her shoulders in excitement. “Which one?”

“Harry Styles,” you said the name slowly, quietly, even though it was just the two of you in the second floor conference room and even though this was your office that you bought and you owned and you ran.

“He’s hot,” she nodded casually, less impressed than you’d expected.

“He’s also like twenty-something, so it's disgusting for you to say that.”

“Oh relax,” she dismissed your concern. “He could be your pool boy.”

Zoey--who also grew up in Southern California and spent plenty of time at your house as a kid--hadn’t yet grown so accustomed to the coming and going of celebrities. Her parents owned a florist shop in Santa Monica and in high school you had to tell her she could only come to a Britney Spears concert if she didn’t cry when you inevitably met her in the green room thanks to your dad.

“I have children,” you reminded her. “A ten-year-old who might as well be fifteen and a six-year-old who would think I literally bought her a human playmate.”

“But if he’s friends with Jeff I highly doubt he’s a serial killer,” she reasoned.

“Wow, you are completely missing the point.”

“What’s the point, then?”

“It’s weird--I can’t have a stranger move in with my kids.”

“Why not?”

“Because first their dad left us and now their grandpa died.”

“Sounds like they need a new man in their life.”

You ignored the similarity of her words with Jeff’s from the other night. “I just think it’s crazy.”

“Okay,” she sat up straight and suddenly looked like this was morphing into a business conversation. “How long?”

“Two weeks.”

“Oh my god,” she turned her palms towards the sky. “Just do it.”

“What? No!”

“It’s two weeks--it’ll take your mind off of all the shit that’s been going on, it’ll be a fun distraction for the girls. You have so much space in that house you will never even know he’s there. And you’re helping a friend.”

She wasn’t wrong: Harry could likely stay in the bedroom all the way on the other end of the hall from where the girls slept. Maeve was thrilled to get her own room in the move and CeCe would occasionally run into your room after a nightmare, so the space was a plus.

He’d have his own room, his own bathroom. Hell, he could even park in the extra garage and enter from the back of the house. Maybe you wouldn’t even notice he existed.

You sighed, tugged at your necklace when you met her gaze. “I just feel really protective over them right now. I feel like Luke ruined their sense of family and now with my dad gone--”

She stuck her tongue out in disgust at the sound of your ex’s name. “I get that--but they have you. They have Jeff and his family and they have me and Shawn and now Benny.”

You offered a small smile at her reassurance. She was right in a lot of ways. The Azoffs were as much a family to your daughters as they had been to you. Shelli and Irv were like grandparents, they offered to babysit plenty of times and they always managed to get the girls the most amazing birthday presents.

But something in you knew it wasn’t the same. You’d dreamed of giving your daughters the sense of family you never had: a mom and a dad who loved each other. One house, not two that had two different beds and sets of books or toys.

Luckily and unluckily, your ex hadn’t made a huge deal about custody. Visits here and there were outlined in your divorce papers, but at this point in time he didn’t seem the most interested in maintaining a relationship with his daughters, even though he promised way back when that he’d never leave.

Getting pregnant with him during college wasn’t planned, but he swore you’d make it work and you tied the knot only a few months before Maeve was born. Things were good at first, you always knew you’d have more than one--if only to combat your own only-child loneliness--and then CeCe came five years later when you felt a little more prepared.

“I don’t think it’s going to traumatize them, Y/N. I mean, the least you could do is meet the guy.”

You watched her for a minute, blew air from your nose in a huff before you picked up your phone.

Y/N L/N (1:56pm): Fine. I’ll meet him.

Three days later you pulled up to a cafe in Brentwood and took a deep breath in the parking lot. If he was creepy, you wouldn’t go for it. If you got even the slightest weird vibe from him, you’d ex-communicate Jeff and only go over to visit his parents with the girls when he wasn’t around.

You’d already been leaning towards just doing it, especially once Tristan got a glass of wine in you and reminded you what your dad would have said: he who helps is one who prospers.

A few sleepless nights left you staring at the ceiling and wondering if you were crazy. You just now had the chance to let life settle down and here you were, mourning the loss of your biggest supporter, trying to piece yourself back together post divorce, and considering letting a stranger move in? Grief really did do strange things to people.

But when you walked in and found them sitting at a table in the back, something clicked.

Your dad was already fond of your possible houseguest, which you only knew from overhearing previous conversations between him and Irv about how proud they were of Jeff for picking up the family business, and now it all made sense.

A small part of you--probably the stupidest part of you--wondered if there was something cosmic about it. Your dad was always one to let his artists stay in the house, if they weren’t creepy, of course. You grew up with bands rehearsing in the backyard and going to shows at the Troubadour before you were old enough to drive, and you turned out fine.

“Hi,” Harry stood, offered a hand and introduced himself after Jeff gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Harry, pleasure to meet you.” Polite, maybe a bit of a kiss ass. Your dad must have loved him.

“Y/N,” you nodded, sat down when Jeff tugged out a chair for you. “Thanks for--uh--meeting with me, I guess.”

“Thanks for maybe letting me stay at your house,” he offered a sheepish smile, held your gaze for a second when Jeff adjusted the sunglasses clipped to his shirt.

“I’m actually surprised you guys haven’t met before,” he said.

“I’ve been a little busy this year,” you reminded him with a nod. “But--nice to finally meet you.”

Harry nodded, a dimple in his left cheek ignited a tiny spark in your chest, but you pushed Zoey’s words out of your mind. Two weeks, it wasn’t a big deal. He’d be in and out and this would be a blip on the radar.

“We can order coffee or something, but Y/N, I’m assuming you have like, a whole interrogation mapped out?”

You pretended to laugh at Jeff’s joke, turned to Harry and offered a no-nonsense smile. “I have two children, I got divorced earlier this year and my dad just died. So I don’t need any drama or anything. This is temporary and I’m doing this to help out a friend. Jeff, that is, not you.”

He laughed at your clarification and nodded. “Right. This is just me living in your house. No drama. Short-term.”

“And obviously my children will be there, so no guests.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Okay I’m not that much older than you,” you said it quickly, offered a small smile when he looked a little scared.

“Sorry--no, I didn’t mean that in a rude way.”

“No ma’am,” you added a rule, pulling a laugh from both of them when you lifted another finger in the air to count them off. “No drugs or alcohol, unless it’s like a glass of wine at dinner or something,” you shrugged.

“Look,” Jeff leaned forward. “Y/N’s kids are great, she’s got a great skincare company and she’s a kickass human. And you need a place to stay, so don’t fuck this up.”

“You both have my word. No drugs, no alcohol, no guests, no ma’am,” he smirked in your direction. “I’ve lived alone for a while, so, it’ll be nice to have some roommates.”

You nodded slowly and watched him for a second. A hoodie with the name of the management firm your dad and Irv had started, a backwards baseball hat and simple Ray-Bans. You ignored the fluttering in your veins from just looking at him, your own words echoed against the walls of your skull: he’s also like twenty-something, so that’s disgusting.

This was his brand, you were sure. Something Jeff had worked hard on--the looks, the smile, the exact formula that management firms drooled over was playing out in front of you. You sipped your drink once the waiter delivered three cappuccinos. Two weeks, tops.

**

Los Angeles afternoons were meant for playing outside, which is what your daughters did best if they weren’t busy pulling each other’s hair. You had dinner on the stove--enough for five--and a knot of nerves in your stomach when the wheels of his fancy car crunched atop the gravel.

The girls ran to greet him and Jeff showed him around the house. Now, Harry sat across from you at the table, Maeve to his left with an unimpressed look on her face when you cleared your throat. “Okay, gratitude time.”

Jeff set his fork back down, a guilty look on his face to admit he’d forgotten about your pre-dinner ritual.

CeCe squirmed in her seat, let out a sigh when Maeve protested with a flutter of her eyelashes. “I don’t have anything to be thankful for,” she informed you.

“That feels a little hard to believe,” you nodded, losing patience for her attitude over the last few days. “CeCe, do you want to go?”

Your younger daughter looked up at you, scrunched her mouth and thought about it. “I don’t have anything either.”

You tried not to groan aloud. After the week you’d had and the sudden changes in your life, disciplining your daughters felt like the last thing you wanted to do, if only they’d just behave.

“I can go,” Harry lifted his hand sheepishly as if he was sitting in a classroom and not in your dining room, a dimple on his cheek when he smiled sheepishly.

“Take it away,” you motioned towards him.

“M’thankful for being here, having a place to stay--and what looks like it will be a delicious meal.” By now he had a bit of smug look on his face, maybe proud of the fact that he’d broken the ice and stepped up to the pre-dinner prompt.

“Mom’s cooking is a solid six out of ten on a good day,” Maeve looked over at him, her fork now in her hand as if she was ready to dig in.

“Okay,” you leaned in and caught her gaze. “Drop the attitude or go to your room.”

“I’m thankful for Emma,” she named her friend, her quick submission after she rolled her eyes told you she just wanted to eat and get this over with. “She warned me today that Hayley was wearing a shirt I wore last week so I think she’s copying me.”

“Okay,” you nodded, you’d accept anything at this point. “CeCe? Last chance.”

“I’m grateful for pudding.”

Harry let out a quiet laugh, you nodded and said: “Great. I’m thankful for you two,” you smiled at them, hopeful that this nightly tradition would hold some type of meaning, more than just eye rolls and pre-pubescent angst from Maeve.

Jeff looked over at the girls, “I’m thankful for my friend Harry getting to meet my other friends, CeCe and Maeve.”

“Aww,” Harry smiled, a hand clutched to his heart when he looked between them.

“Alright,” you were annoyed by how good your daughters were at turning on their charm for anyone but you. Jeff was often the fun uncle, just like your ex had been the fun dad, which left you forcing them to play this gratitude game every night after they finished their homework.

CeCe wasted no time digging into the spaghetti on her plate, leaving Jeff to ask Maeve: “so what are you going to do about Hayley?”

“I don’t know,” Maeve sighed. “She’ll die when she finds out that you’re sleeping over,” she pointed her fork at Harry.

“He’s not sleeping over,” you corrected. “He’s staying in one of the guest rooms, remember?” You’d already explained it a few times to them. A few weeks, he’s working on more music, he’ll be busy, he’s not here to play with you.

“Whatever,” Maeve said. “Maybe I’ll hold it over her.”

“Maeve,” you looked over, unsure what had gotten into her. “I thought we talked about this stuff with Hayley?”

“I know--but she just keeps annoying me,” Maeve explained.

“Dump pasta on her head,” CeCe suggested with a giggle.

“Don’t do that,” you looked at CeCe and poked her in the stomach.

“I personally am a big fan of that idea,” Jeff smiled over at CeCe. “But it’d probably be better to just forget about it. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

“Or the sincerest form of annoying,” she retorted.

Harry let out a laugh at that, caught your gaze when you wondered how soon it’d take him to get annoyed with your kids.

They were great--smart, funny, clever, definitely witty and sometimes dramatic. But they were good kids.

You remembered how tough it was to adapt to motherhood, even though they were your own. Something told you that Harry, no matter how short his stay would be, was not in the chapter of his life that entailed finding joy in playdates and pillow fights.

But he made it through dinner, quiet but friendly and as soon as Maeve was finished, she begged him to play squishball outside before sunset.

“Squishball?” his eyebrows dipped together. “Never heard of it.”

“It’s basically just baseball but with a softer bat and a foam ball cause mom doesn’t want us to break our skulls,” Maeve informed.

“I never said break your skulls,” you argued.

“But it’s what you meant,” she shrugged.

“I would love to play,” Harry laughed, unbelievably entertained by the back and forth he’d already witnessed. They yanked him outside and set up their tiny diamond, CeCe pulled on a tutu just for flair and you and Jeff were left to handle the aftermath of a family dinner.

Jeff put the final plate into the dishwasher after a little bit and offered a hesitant smile when he turned around. “So?”

“So what? It’s been like an hour and a half of him being here.”

Their laughter from outside was audible, CeCe shrieked when Maeve made contact with the bat and sent the ball soaring into the air. “The girls clearly love him.”

“Of course they do--they love anyone for the first two hours.”

“I think he’ll be good for you guys.”

You rolled your eyes, wiped the counter with the sponge when he continued.

“And you guys will be good for him.”

This got your attention. “How so?”

“He’s a people-person, never likes being on his own too much. Some structure and responsibility is good for him.”

“So I’m babysitting him?”

“Oh my god,” he laughed. “Relax, will you? This could be a mutually beneficial thing if you let it, that’s all I’m saying.”

You didn’t read too much into it, you figured Jeff was peppering you with reassurance only to calm your nerves or quell your concerns. When he was finished helping you clean, he hugged the girls goodbye and waved over his shoulder, leaving Harry alone in your house with you and your daughters and nothing but good intentions.

You left him downstairs at first, helped CeCe brush her hair and sat on the floor when Maeve picked out her clothes for the next day: hopefully Hayley doesn’t own this dress.

When you headed back downstairs an hour later, the girls were tucked in, the lights were off, and your usual plan would have been to check your work emails if it weren’t for the dimpled guy in your living room.

He stood at the bookcase, hands clasped behind his back when you found him.

“Hi, sorry--bedtime is always a--” you paused, not even knowing the right label. “A shit show. But thanks for playing with them earlier.”

He laughed, turned around and offered a smile. “No worries--they seem like great kids.”

“They are,” you assured. “Maeve’s been a bit snarky lately but I think that’s just the whole beginning of puberty thing.” You cringed a little when the words left your mouth, wondering if it was too much information for someone who likely had cooler things to do than talk about ten-year-olds and training bras.

But he smiled, shoved his hands in his pockets when you said: let me show you around.

He’d arrived at the worst time. Homework, dinner prep, CeCe crying because Maeve finished her homework first. You didn’t have the chance to give him a tour and you figured it would be better coming from you than from Jeff, that way you could remind him of all the rules.

You showed him the ground floor first. The library, the family room, the two offices and the three different remotes that all worked different TVs or speakers or lamps. He marveled at the pictures on the wall in your dad’s old office space, he was a legend, he told you.

He climbed the stairs behind you and whispered in response when you pointed out what was behind each door. Bathroom, Maeve’s room, CeCe’s room, guest room, another bathroom, master suite, guest room, his room.

You pushed the door open and stepped aside to let him in. Gray walls, a wooden four-post king-sized bed. Throw pillows you’d picked out when you moved in a few weeks ago, a dresser to the left. He looked around and nodded. “S’perfect.”

“Good,” you said, walking over to a small linen closet in his attached bath. “Towels are in here, should be soap and stuff in the shower--had our housekeeper stock it.”

“Thanks,” he nodded again.

“I don’t know where you parked, but there’s a garage in the back that my dad used to keep some of his sports cars in--there’s definitely room and that way you don’t have to leave yours out if it rains.”

Were you talking too much? You just wanted him to feel at home or at least welcomed.

“Amazing,” he said. “Thank you.”

A repetitive answer but it didn't stop you from rambling.

“Keurig’s on the counter--creamer in the fridge. Should be plenty of food but obviously feel free to stock what you like. Except like, weed.”

“Weed doesn’t go in the fridge...” he eyed you suspiciously, the same dimple appeared on his cheek and you rolled your eyes.

“I know--I know weed doesn’t go in the fridge.”

“Just the no drug policy,” he nodded.

“Right. Am I forgetting anything?”

He shifted his weight on his feet and shrugged his shoulders, a subtle shake of his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” you nodded, one final look around the room to make sure he had what he needed. His duffle bag was already in the corner, you’d told Jeff to put it upstairs and out of the way so CeCe and Maeve didn’t get nosy.

“I just have a question actually, if that’s alright.”

“Yeah?”

“When did you move in here?”

“Uh, beginning of August, so like, almost a month ago.”

He nodded, his eyes curious despite the fact that he didn’t ask more.

“We had to put my dad in hospice, I was looking for a place anyway after,” a quick motion over your shoulder to gesture to the girls. “My divorce, so--a lot of change, but it’s been nice to be home.”

He nodded thoughtfully, the quiet of the bedroom suddenly felt heavy. “S’a beautiful house.”

“Thank you,” you looked around the room again, if only to put your eyes somewhere other than his face. “I felt shitty about redecorating it at first, but--it was a little too much of a 70s bachelor pad.”

“Leave it to Walt,” he joked.

That piqued your interest. “Did you know my dad? Like, did you spend any time with him?”

He pushed his lips out in thought but shook his head when he sat down on the bed. “Not really--met him a few times at events with Jeff, but I never spent any quality time with him.”

You nodded--he was a busy guy, popular and well respected in his industry. “He was a good person, good grandfather, too.”

Harry smiled at that. “Always heard that Irv was the balls but your dad was the heart.”

You laughed, scrunched your nose at the saying you’d heard a hundred times. The two of them were partners in crime, two peas in a pod, yet they couldn’t be more different. He spoke again before you could reply, voice soft in the sleepy house.

“I mean, if you're his daughter he obviously did something right.”

He held your gaze just long enough for you to feel something, something you pushed out of your mind so quickly that your hand was on the door knob before he could even say goodnight.

Two weeks, tops.

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[averytiredfanfictionwriter]

Clan (Technoblade x demon!reader, Philza x demon!reader)

Word count- 2,210 Content Warnings- none that I can think of Ao3 link- right here.

My first post back in a while. I’m sorry about the absence to whoever might care- a lot of things popped up in my personal life that stressed me out, on top of my graduation fast approaching. But I’m back now, and this might not be the Karl or Ranboo fic that was promised, it is at least something. Those will both be coming within a week or two, I just need to finish up some stuff and then edit them. So follow if you want to see when I post those, or just reply on this post saying that you want to be tagged when I do post them. Enjoy! Reblogs are appreciated, as well as likes. So if you could just do both, that would mean the world to me!

Techno’s used to being alone. He lived the first hundred years of his life that way- until he met Phil. And then Phil left. And he was alone again. 

But when he met Y/n, that all changed. He never had to worry about being alone again. Immortals are rare, and meeting another one is even rarer, but the two were inseparable. She never disclosed where she was from, or what the tattoos of strange runes on her body meant, and Techno knew better than to pry into matters that didn’t concern him, but he couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking about as she stared out the window with her eyes clouded over and memories of a past time playing in her mind.

When Phil came back, it was easy for the pair to fit him back into their lives. Even though Y/n had never met him before it was as if they’d known each other for centuries before then. The three easily settled into a calm daily routine and when they returned to their own houses in the little community they’d created for just them at night, they fell asleep having forgotten what life was like before they’d met. 

The three gods never worried about what would happen when they were found. After all, they’re immortal. They’ve lived to see the rise and fall of countries, rulers, and everything else. Them of all people know that nothing is permanent. But none ever stopped to consider that what they had wasn’t permanent.

It started when Techno woke up in the morning. The arctic always lent itself to freezing mornings but this one felt colder than the others. It could be because he had expected to wake up with Y/n and Phil next to him on the couch, and was surprised that they would go back to their own houses. But it was much more than that- even if Techno couldn’t have known.

Phil and Techno looked in silence for any trace of Y/n around their community when the sun hit the middle of the sky and she still hadn’t shown her face. Any places she might have gone off to in search of quiet or a place to nap. But that didn’t appear to be the case and their search turned up empty and in vain. 

Techno retreated into himself. He found the note she’d left when he and Phil returned from their search and he didn’t say anything, instead heading down to the basement in his small house and shutting himself in to work on ‘very important stuff’ as he told Phil. Phil didn’t believe him-  Techno wasn’t exactly quiet in expressing the emotions he felt about Y/n leaving.

Phil wasn’t quite as emotional as Techno. He was more than two hundred years older than the pink-haired man. He was used to the constant ebbing and flowing of life, of the appearance and then disappearance of people. That’s not to say it didn’t hurt, but he knew that it’s the way of life. People come, and then they go. To stop it would be to disregard the nature of humans as a whole.

He was a little surprised when Techno came back up at the end of the night and, while silent, had refused to acknowledge that she’d even existed there in the first place. He ignored the building next to his where she’d slept and kept her belongings. Whenever Phil tried to bring her up, Techno would shut out the conversation and pretend he hadn’t heard him. It wasn’t healthy, and Phil couldn’t blame him because he was still young but he just wished he wouldn’t be so heartbroken to the point of refusing to acknowledge that she ever existed in the first place.

This went on for months. Almost a whole year had passed and the building that contained Y/n’s belongings went untouched. All the delicate keepsakes from past adventures, photos of strangers that neither of the men dared ask about, and the bookshelves lining almost every wall and so full of books from all over the world- it all gathered dust. Until finally she came back.

Phil almost didn’t recognize her at first. The tired weariness evident in the dark circles under her eyes and the dragging of her footsteps, but everything else was the same. The dark hair on her head now long enough to braid- much to his excitement- and the multitudes of runes covering her body, with the additions of quite a few now. One of the newest things though is the several piercings and jewelry that she’s wearing. The most prominent of which is the chain hanging around her neck, a medium-sized precious stone of unknown origin hanging off of it. 

“Y/n…” Phil said, dropping the wood he held in her arms in favor of running over and embracing her.

She hugs him back, the feeling almost foreign to her now. But now that she’s back, she doesn’t intend on forgetting it again.

“Where’s Techno? I need to talk to you both.” Y/n mumbles into Phils' shoulder, and for a minute he feels the cold flush of fear at the thought of her leaving again.

“He’s inside his house. Here, I’ll take you there.” Phil can’t help but feel like he’s showing around a visitor. The community has changed quite a bit since she’d last been there but the dread-filled feeling that he gets at the thought of her leaving again, coming back to say that she’s leaving and never returning, is more than he could take.

“Techno. Where are you?” Phil calls out as he enters the house and the chill of the room makes him shiver.

“Downstairs.” A gruff voice calls back, followed by a grunt of frustration.

“Well, can you come upstairs real quick? We have a visitor.” The word is bitter on his tongue and the look that flashes quickly across Y/n’s face makes him wish he’d chosen a better wording.

“Fine.” The ladder creaks and then Techno is peeking his head through the hole that leads down the basement.

“Y/n. What are you doing here?” It’s not entirely a question, and Y/n winces at Techno’s harsh tone. “Why are you back now? What, was living out there not as good as you thought it was? Well, you can leave. We don’t want you back here. We’re doing just fine on our own.” 

Y/n feels destroyed. She didn’t expect Techno to react positively to her return, but she didn’t expect this.

“Can I just tell you why I left?” She asks, and Techno snorts.

“Sure. Go ahead. Lay on us this wonderful reason.” Techno’s voice drips with sarcasm.

“There were some people I needed to find- had to find.” She says and Techno laughs.

“Really. That’s your reason. You had to go find some people so you left for ten months. You didn’t even think to tell us in person, instead, you just left a note. Hell, you could have taken us with you. We would have happily gone with you. I would have happily gone with you. I’d have done anything for you. But it appears that the feeling wasn’t mutual, since you barely bothered to leave a half-assed note telling us.” Techno shouts, having climbed fully into the room and stood towering over the girl.

“You don’t understand. This was not a trip you could have made. Neither of you would have been able to!” Y/n shouts back. 

Phil backs away, settling into the couch on the other side of the room. 

“What do you mean, I don’t understand. I understand perfectly. You abandoned us. You abandoned me. Well, you know what, I don’t want you back here. You need to leave. Get your things and leave. Right now.” Techno says and it feels like Y/n was just punched in the gut.

“What? Techno you’re not serious?” Phil’s astonished. Of everything he thought Techno would say to Y/n, this wasn’t one of them.

“Yeah, I am. Now get out.” Philza protests and Techno starts yelling at him as he tries to shove her out of the house.

“My clan was killed! I had to find their bodies!” She shouts out over the two men and Techno stops pushing her.

“Clan?” He asks and Phil stares at her blankly.

“You’re a demon?” He asks and Techno looks back and forth between the two.

“Part demon, yes. My clan was killed and I had to find them. I needed to know who was left. And… I’m now the leader of a clan that doesn’t exist anymore. They were all dead.” Her voice breaks at the end of her sentence, and the sorrow overwhelms her. She’d done a good job on the trip there and back of not crying, of ignoring what happened. But saying it out loud makes it real, and something inside her snaps with those words.

Suddenly the runes tattooed on her and the amount of gold jewelry she’s wearing makes sense to Phil. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Techno pulls her into his arms protectively.

Phil stands from the couch and joins them. The combined warmth of the other two hybrids is almost too much to bear, but Philza hugs them anyways. Y/n’s sobbing continues for a little longer, but soon it turns into muffled sniffles and the shaking of her body calms a little bit.

“It’s up to me now to find a new clan. Custom is that I have to either join one or find others to form one with. I don’t think I’ll be able to stay here. Most of them require you to live with the group.” Y/n whispers as she pulls away from the hug.

“No. I won’t let you leave. Not for a second time.” Techno says stubbornly, and Y/n shakes her head.

“I don’t have a choice.”

“Yes, you do. We’ll be your new clan. Even if you can’t give us the jewelry of your brothers and sisters like tradition dictates, we can still be your clan. Technically your clan doesn’t have to be other demons.” Phil smiles at her. Techno doesn’t know why Phil would know that, but he doesn’t question his knowledge either way. Phil’s lived a long life before he and Y/n came into the picture.

“You guys would do that?” She asks and he nods his head eagerly.

“Of course. We were already really close before- nothing’s going to be changing.”

“Yeah. What do we have to do to join your clan?” Techno asks.

“Well, we basically have to get married to each other. It’s really just an unbreakable promise to stay with each other and protect each other until we die. Soooo… forever. Are you guys sure this is what you want? Because once we do this we can’t go back.” Y/n looks at them in worry.

“Yes. We both want this. You belong here with us. Life was horrible without you here. I had to deal with Phil all alone. The full force of his attention was on me. It was a never-ending nightmare.” Technos voice is dry as he delivers the joke and Y/n laughs as Phil protests.

“Hey. You forget that I was equally as stuck with you. It’s not easy when you live with a piglin who never gets cold and forgets that not everyone is as lucky as him.” Phil says and Techno mimics his words.

“Whatever you say, old man. But Y/n, I’m a hundred percent serious about joining your clan. I never want to let you go again.” Techno says into Y/n’s shoulder.

“Yeah, it was so quiet without you here mate. And cold. So, so cold.” Phil wraps his wings around the two human furnaces and holds them close.

Even though he’s more than two hundred years older than the pair and knows the reality of life- that eventually they’ll get bored of each other or tired and leave- he finds himself wanting to never let go.

“Here, hold out your hands,” Y/n tells them as she pulls out of the hug.

The two men do so without hesitation, and Y/n places a ring in each of their hands. They’re heavy, made of an unknown metal to most who walk the earth and they’re burning hot to the touch as if they were just forged and taken out of the fire.

“But… you’re not supposed to?” Phil says and the woman shakes her head.

“It doesn’t matter if my clan is made of demons or not. I’m still going to give you guys the rings signifying our bonds.” She says and Phil nods.

“Now… who wants to go and slaughter some orphans?” Techno asks, clapping his hands together.

Y/n shouts yes and drops her bag on the ground, running out the door. Techno hangs back a moment, pausing only to look at his reflection in the mirror- at the heavy ring on his tusk. It’s stopped burning and has turned into a comfortable warmth.

“Hey, you good mate?” Phil asks and Techno smiles.

“Never better.” He eyes the half-demon waiting outside in the snow, her tail swishing on the ground behind her. 

“Good. Because now there’s no getting rid of her.” Phil smiles and they join the girl waiting outside, ready for whatever adventures lie ahead.

[vanillahub]

Please read!

Edit 1: You don't need to follow the hub*, but that'd be very helpful for me to check if we're still mutuals or not. Just please, make sure you're following at least one of the RP side blogs, and not just the hub.

*Addendum: If you use the "disable comments from people you don't follow" feature, then I ask you kindly to follow the hub and not just the RP side-blog. Because it prevents me from commenting on your posts, since the comment is coming from this blog rather than the side one. Failing to do this heavily affects the way I can engage with you and your blog/muses.

If I've followed you, it is for one of these blogs:

@galaccias - Star wars Multimuse (Not following new SW mutuals)

@healbellls - Pokemon Multimuse

@hxdrostorms - In limbo rn will be reworked into a Castlevania one

@santuxrio - Saint Seiya Multimuse

As of the 25th of February 2024, I've been prioritizing Discord RP over Tumblr.

Interested in Discord RP? Check out @vanirpads

In light of a new awfull trend across the RPC: I don't send any anonymous messages ever. If you receive any form of hateful message with my name attached, ignore and delete it. Without a doubt, it is someone looking to impersonate me, in hopes of sparking controversy. It is a shame this has to be addressed.

Rules highlights:

I'm a big supporter of 'tag & curate your online experience', 'ship and let ship', 'don't like don't read' (Dead dove don't eat), 'fiction can affect reality, but it will never be that', 'shipping/fandom isn't activism'. If you have any issues with these things, then this blog might not be for you.

I do send in passwords/anything that the mun requires, to let them know I have read their rules. But, unless specified, I'll only do that AFTER being followed back. Because I don't wish to make it seem like I'm "pressuring" them to follow/interact with me.

I reserve the right to unfollow and block anyone, I don’t owe an explanation for doing so. Do not evade it, nor send people after me in an attempt to score an answer for you. If you find out you’ve been blocked by me, move on like any other person would.

The same goes out to anyone following me, who wishes to break mutuals with! Block and unfollow to your heart’s content, IDC what you do in order to feel well. I’d much prefer being softblocked, so I don’t end up sending prompts or interacting with your posts/blog, without realising we no longer were mutuals.

Anonymous messages are permanently turned off.

There’s no pressure when it comes to interacting with my muses. As in, if you’re only looking to interact with one out of all the other options? I’m cool with that. The choice is yours, I’ll obviously try to offer as many as I can see fit for us. But I’ll never force anything upon anyone. And on that note: All I ask in return is to respect my grading system for muses (primary, secondary & tertiary/friends only stuff)! As mentioned in the directories, while I don’t mind HC asks aimed at those tertiary muses. Interactions and plots are reserved only for my long-time partners or friends!

Reblog karma is in effect, if I reblog a prompt from you I will send in something back. And I expect the same from you, if you do nothing but reblog memes directly from me without sending anything back, you will be blocked. I have a tolerance when it comes to mutuals, I’ll contact you to stop with it. However, I have zero tolerance for non-mutuals.  

I am NOT fictionkin nor self-insert friendly, I’ve had way too many bad run ins with them, and I want nothing to do with them! Mun =/= Muse, if you can’t understand that concept then leave. I’m NOT my muses, and I’m not here to judge anyone, but I'm also not here to fulfill anyone’s fantasies like that.

Non-mutuals: please refrain from sending prompts that have been  specifically tagged/marked as ‘mutuals’. They have been marked in such  way, for a reason. I get you may want to draw my attention to your blog,  however, that’s not the way to go about it (If you do this, I’ll likely  take it as an attempt to brute force your way into my boundaries. DMing  me is a whole lot better.). I take a while to follow people back, you can find more info in regards to  what I look into people’s blogs & take into consideration before  following back in my rules.   

I’m strongly against the idea of “if we’re mutuals, then we’re immediately friends!” (as it promotes an unhealthy sense of overfamiliarity, and it has put me in awkward situations in the past). So please, don’t go around calling me a friend, unless we’ve known each other and have been in constant contact for quite some time. It’s nothing against anyone, that’s just how I roll.

On following: If I don’t get followed back in my actual rp blogs after an week or so, I’ll take that as the person’s way of saying they aren’t interested and I’ll unfollow & softblock if they only followed the hub! Of course, I may contact the person in case they have already answered to my asks or other things.

If you’re someone who keeps adding new muses every other day, or is always making new blogs and quickly abandoning old ones (aka drifters or blog-hoppers). Then, it’s very unlikely we will mesh well as writing partners. It’s nothing personal, but this sort of thing doesn’t work well with me. I need rping partners, who wish to stick around for the long run. I can’t and won’t keep up with muns, who are always doing those things and clearly have other things in mind for RPing.

I don't have access to the Legacy editor only the new beta one. I'm using the new XKit trim posts, for my RP responses.

[writingwithcolor]

I'm writing an AU of a movie that takes place in the 1880s USA, where a travelling white character and a Jewish character are waylaid by Native Americans, who they befriend. Probably because it was written by and about PoC (Jews) the scene actually avoids the stuff on your Native American Masterpost, but I'd still like to do better than a movie made in the 1980's, and I feel weird cutting them from the plot entirely. I have a Jewish woman reading it for that, but are there any things you (1/1)

2/2 1880s western movie ask--are there things you'd LIKE to see in a movie where a white man and a Jewish man run into Native Americans in the 1880s? I do plan to base them on a real tribe (Ute, probably) and have proper housing/clothes and so forth, but right now I'm just trying to avoid or subvert awful cowboy movie tropes. Any ideas?

White and Jewish Men, Native American interactions in 1880s

I am vaguely concerned with how you only cite one of our posts about Native Americans, that was not written by a Native person, and do not cite any of the posts relating to this time period, or any posts relating to representation in media. 

Sidenote: if you want us to give accurate reflections of the media you’re discussing, please tell us the NAME. I cannot go look up this movie based off this description to give you an idea of what my issues are with this scene, and must instead trust that the representation is good based off your judgement. I cannot make my own judgement. This is a problem. Especially since your whole question boils down to “this scene is good but not great and I want it to be great. How can I do that?”

Your baseline for “good” could very well be my baseline for “terrible hack job”. I can’t give you the proper education required for you to be able to accurately evaluate the media you’re watching for racist stereotypes if you don’t tell me what you’re even working with.

When you’re writing fanfic where the media is directly relevant to the question, please tell us the name of the media. We will not judge your tastes. We need this information in order to properly help you.

Moving on.

I bring up my concern for you citing that one—exceptionally old—post because it is lacking in many of the tropes that don’t exist in the media critique field but exist in the real world. This is an issue I have run into countless times on WWC (hence further concern you did not cite any other posts) and have spoken about at length. 

People look at the media critique world exclusively, assume it is a complete evaluation of how Native Americans are seen in society, and as a result end up ignoring some really toxic stereotypes and then come to the inbox with “these characters aren’t abc trope, so they’re fine, but I want to rubber stamp them anyway. Anything wrong here?”. The answer is pretty much always yes. 

Issue one: “Waylaid” by Native Americans

This wording is extremely loaded for one reason: Native American people are seen as tricksters, liars, and predators. This is the #1 trope that shows up in the real world that does not show up in media critique. It’s also the trope I have talked about the most when it comes to media representation, so you not knowing the trope is a sign you haven’t read the entirety of the Native tag—which is in the FAQ as something we would really prefer you did before coming at us to answer questions. It avoids us having to re-explain ourselves.

Now, hostility is honestly to be expected for the time period the movie is set in. This is in the beginnings (or ramping up) of residential schools in America* and Canada, we have generations upon generations of stolen or killed children, reserves being allocated perhaps hundreds of miles from sacred sites, and various wars with Plains and Southwest peoples are in full force (Wounded Knee would have happened in 1890, in December, and the Dakoa’s mass execution would have been in 1862. Those are just the big-name wars. There absolutely were others). 

*America covers up its residential schools abuse extremely thoroughly, so if you try to research them in the American context you will come up empty. Please research Canada’s schools and apply the same abuse to America, as Canada has had a Truth and Reconciliation Commission about residential schools and therefore is more (but not completely) transparent about the abuse that happened. Please note that America’s history with residential schools is longer than Canada’s history. There is an extremely large trigger warning for mass child death when you do this research.

But just because the hostility is expected does not mean that this hostility would be treated well in the movie. Especially when you consider the sheer amount of tension between any Native actors and white actors, for how Sacheen Littlefeather had just been nearly beaten up by white actors at the 1973 Academy Awards for mentioning Wounded Knee, and the American Indian Religious Freedom Act had only been passed two years prior in 1978. 

These Native actors would not have had the ability to truly consent to how they were shown, and this power dynamic has to be in your mind when you watch this scene over. I don’t care that the writers were from a discriminated-against background. This does not always result in being respectful, and I’ve also spoken about this power imbalance at length (primarily in the cowboy tag).

Documentaries and history specials made in the 2010s (with some degree of academic muster) will still fall into wording that harkens Indigenous people to wolves and settlers as frightened prey animals getting picked off by the mean animalistic Natives. This is not neutral, or good. This is perpetuating the myth that the settlers were helpless, just doing their own thing completely unobtrusively, and then the evil territorial Native Americans didn’t want to share.

To paraphrase Batman: if I had a week I couldn’t explain all the reasons that’s wrong.

How were these characters waylaid by the Native population? Because that answer—which I cannot get because you did not name the media—will determine how good the framing is. But based on the time period this movie was made alone, I do not trust it was done respectfully.

Issue 2: “Befriending”

I mentioned this was in an intense period of residential schools and land wars all in that area. The Ute themselves had just been massacred by Mormons in the Grass Valley Massacre in 1865, with ten men and an unknown number of women and children killed thanks to a case of assumed association with a war chief (Antonga Black Hawk) currently at war with Utah. The Paiute had been massacred in 1866. Over 100 Timpanogo men had been killed, with an unknown number of women and children enslaved by Brigham Young in Salt Lake City in 1850, with many of the enslaved people dying in captivity (those numbers were not tracked, but I would assume at least two hundred were enslaved— that’s simply assuming one woman/wife and one child for every man, and the numbers could have very well been higher if any war-widows and their children were in the group, not to mention families with multiple children). This is after an unknown group of Indigenous people had been killed by Governor Brigham Young the year prior, to “permanently stop cattle theft” from settlers. 

The number of Native Americans killed in Utah in the 1800s—just the number of dead counted (since women and children weren’t counted)—in massacres not tied to war (because there was at least one war) is over 130. The actual number of random murders is much higher; between the uncounted deaths and how the Governor had issued orders to “deal with” the problem of cattle theft permanently. I doubt you would have been tried or convicted if you murdered Indigenous peoples on “your” land. This is why it’s called state sanctioned genocide.

This is not counting the Black Hawk War in Utah (1865-1872), which the Ute were absolutely a part of (the wiki articles I read were contradictory if Antonga Black Hawk was Ute or Timpanogo, but the Ute were part of it). The first official massacre tied to the war—the Bear River Massacre, ordered by the US Military—places the death count of just that singular massacre at over five hundred Shoshone, including elders, women, and children. It would not be unreasonable to assume that the number of Indigenous people killed in Utah from 1850, onward, is over a thousand, perhaps two or three.

Pardon me for not reading beyond that point to list more massacres and simply ballparking a number; the source will be linked for you to get an accurate number of dead.

So how did they befriend the Native population? Let alone see them as fully human considering the racism of the time period? Natives were absolutely not seen as fully human so long as they were tied to their culture, and assimilation equalling some sliver of respect was already a stick being waved around as a threat. This lack of humanity continues to the present day.

I’m not saying friendship is impossible. I am saying the sheer levels of mistrust that would exist between random wandering groups of white/pale men and Indigenous communities wouldn’t exactly make that friendship easy. Having the scene end be a genuine friendship feels ignorant and hollow and flattening of ongoing genocide, because settlers lied about their intentions and then lined you up for slauther (that’s how the Timpanogo were killed and enslaved).

Utah had already done most of its mass killing by this point. The era of trusting them was over. There was an active open hunting season, and the acceptable targets were the Indigenous populations of Utah.

(sources for the numbers: 

List of Indian Massacres in North America Black Hawk War (1865-1872))

Issue 3: “Proper housing/clothes and so forth”

Do you mean Western style settlements and jeans? If yes, congratulations you have written a reservation which means the land-ripped-away wounds are going to be fresh, painful, and sore.

You do not codify what you mean by “proper”, and proper is another one of those deeply loaded colonial words that can mean “like a white man” or “appropriate for their tribe.” For the time period, it would be the former. Without specifying which direction you’re going for, I have no idea what you’re imagining. And without the name of the media, I don’t know what the basis of this is.

The reservation history of this time period seems to maybe have some wiggle room; there were two reservations allocated for the Ute at this time, one made in 1861 and another made in 1882 (they were combined into the Uintah and Ouray Indian Reservation in 1886). This is all at the surface level of a google and wikipedia search, so I have no idea how many lived in the bush and how many lived on the reserve. 

There were certainly land defenders trying to tell Utah the land did not belong to them, so holdouts that avoided getting rounded up were certainly possible. But these holdouts would be far, far more hostile to anyone non-Native.

The Ute seemed to be some degree of lucky in that the reserve is on some of their ancestral territory, but any loss of land that large is going to leave huge scars. 

It should be noted that reserves would mean the traditional clothing and housing would likely be forbidden, because assimilation logic was in full force and absolutely vicious at this time. 

It’s a large reserve, so the possibility exists they could have accidentally ended up within the borders of it. I’m not sure how hostile the state government was for rounding up all the Ute, so I don’t know if there would have been pockets of them hiding out. In present day, half of the Ute tribe lives on the reserve, but this wasn’t necessarily true historically—it could have been a much higher percentage in either direction.

It’s up to you if you want to make them be reservation-bound or not. Regardless, the above mentioned genocide would have been pretty fresh, the land theft in negotiations or already having happened, and generally, the Ute would be well on their way to every assimilation attempt made from either residential schools, missionaries, and/or the forced settlement and pre-fab homes.

To Answer Your Question

I don’t want another flattened, sanitized portrayal of genocide.

Look at the number of dead above, the amount of land lost above, the amount of executive orders above. And try to tell me that these people would be anything less than completely and totally devastated. Beyond traumatized. Beyond broken hearted. Absolutely grief stricken with almost no soul left.

Their religion would have been illegal. Their children would have been stolen. Their land was taken away. A saying about post-apocalyptic fiction is how settler-based it is, because Indigenous people have already lived through their own apocalypse.

It would have all just happened at the time period this story is set in. All of the grief you feel now at the environment changing so drastically that you aren’t sure how you’ll survive? Take that, magnify it by an exponential amount because it happened, and you have the mindset of these Native characters.

This is not a topic to tread lightly. This is not a topic to read one masterpost and treat it as a golden rule when there is too much history buried in unmarked, overfull graves of school grounds and cities and battlefields. I doubt the movie you’re using is good representation if it doesn’t even hint at the amount of trauma these Native characters would have been through in thirty years.

A single generation, and the life that they had spent millennia living was gone. Despite massive losses of life trying to fight to preserve their culture and land.

Learn some history. That’s all I can tell you. Learn it, process it, and look outside of checklists. Look outside of media. 

And let us have our grief.

~ Mod Lesya

On Question Framing

Please allow me the opportunity to comment on “are there things you'd LIKE to see in a movie where a white man and a Jewish man run into Native Americans in the 1880s?” That strikes me as the same type of question as asking what color food I’d like for lunch. I don’t see how the cultural backgrounds of characters I have literally no other information about is supposed to make me want anything in particular about them. I don’t know anything about their personalities or if they have anything in common.

Compare the following questions:

“Are there things you’d like to see in a movie where two American women, one from a Nordic background and one Jewish, are interacting?” I struggle to see how our backgrounds are going to yield any further inspiration. It certainly doesn’t tell you that we’re both queer and cling to each other’s support in a scary world; it doesn’t tell you that we uplift each other through mental illness; it doesn’t go into our 30 years of endless bizarre inside jokes related to everything from mustelids to bad subtitles.

Because: “white”, “Jewish”, and “Native American” aren’t personality words. You can ask me what kind of interaction I’d like to see from a high-strung overachieving woman and a happy-go-lucky Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and I’ll tell you I’d want fluffy f/f romance. Someone else might want conflict ultimately resolving in friendship. A third person might want them slowly getting on each other’s nerves more and more until one becomes a supervillain and the other must thwart her. But the same question about a cultural demographic? That told me nothing about the people involved.

Also, the first time I meet a new person from a very different culture, it might take weeks before discussion of our specific cultural differences comes up. As a consequence, my first deep conversations with a Costa Rican American gentile friend were not about Costa Rica or my Jewishness but about things we had in common: classical music and coping with breakups--which are obviously conversations I could have had if we were both Jewish, both Costa Rican gentiles, or both something else. So in other words, I’m having trouble seeing how knowing so little about these characters is supposed to give me something to want to see on the page.

Thank you for understanding.

(And yes, I agree with Lesya, what’s with this trend of people trying to explain their fandom in a roundabout way instead of mentioning it by name? It makes it harder to give meaningful help….)

--Shira

[mittensmorgul]

For anyone interested in long-term residence in the supernatural fandom, please have some observations I’ve made over the decade I’ve been here. Take it or leave it as you will, but I’ve found all of this info useful over the years I’ve been here.

I wrote this yesterday, and it achieved its mission of identifying the sort of folks who would react negatively to it (i.e. a lot of block lists have been updated), so now that it’s been edited for content, it’s going under a cut (because that is how we do things on tumblr in general, unless we have a deliberate purpose for annoying readers with excessively long text posts) for the sake of people who actually do care about the fandom and its history. If that’s not you or your reason for being here, then keep on keeping on with your own thing, I guess. For those who are interested, there’s a lot of fandom resources some of us have been building for years that you might enjoy knowing about.

First off, I’ve been informed by a few friends who’ve read through this for coherency’s sake that it sort of reads like a *shakes cane from porch* fandom grandma complaint, but honestly... I earned this rocking chair and goshdangit imma rock now. So apologies for any “back in my day” vibes or faint aroma of tiger balm this post might give off. Then again, it’s loosely based on a similar post from 2012 so like... time is a flat circle anyway I guess.

1. There is no such thing as “tumblr famous,” unless you’re referring to the hilarious and delightful fic of the same name (please go read it, you will cackle). Posting Hot Takes for imaginary Clout™ on this site is kind of pointless in the long run. Sure you can post solely for the sake of stirring shit and getting notes, but the majority of the folks who do aren’t long term residents of the fandom. They’re just tourists moving through our little beach town for spring break. If you’re actually intent on moving to this corner of the fandom for an extended stay, please bother to really feel out the permanent residents and understand the culture and general mood of the neighborhood. It bears no resemblance to whatever’s going on across town where all the bars and beach parities are happening, and those loud, drunken revelers are, again, gonna disappear back to their regular lives or on to the next party eventually. That doesn’t mean the fandom is dying, it’s just evolving.

(funny how I had several comments implying that I’m just trying to keep the fandom from evolving with this post, because I sincerely do want the fandom to continue on for years to come, and that is impossible without evolution. We can evolve without self-immolating, though. mostly i included point 1 for an excuse to push ancient but hilarious fanfic on you.)

2. Once you post something here, it’s been unleashed to the fandom winds. You never know where it will end up, or who will comment on it or add to it. Remember that time Misha tweeted the link to the Epic Cockles Love Story post? No? It was wild. That was 2012. They all know we’re here, and how to find us if they want to. Please don’t take it to their doorsteps.

Obviously if someone is being a dick on your posts, please feel free to block them, but the whole entire point of this site is to engage people with your posts. Being big mad that someone reblogged your post with comments or supporting evidence, or happy headcanons or “HECK THIS IS GREAT BECAUSE (insert personal story about their experience or whatever else made them Feel Things about your post)” is frankly ridiculous. If your goal is to avoid any sort of engagement with your posts, then maybe try instagram instead. From what I understand, there is a SPN fandom presence there, and nobody can tarnish your original posts with unwanted commentary. But the ability to reblog with additional commentary is a FEATURE of tumblr that builds community through conversation. Otherwise we’re all just talking to ourselves in a vacuum, and that’s what actually kills fandoms.

(and for the folks who just want to blog how they want to blog and don’t want people to engage on their posts at all, please feel free to block anyone you want, as well... nobody wants to step on your toes, but most of us also don’t want to walk on eggshells wondering if this post is one of the “do not add comments for any reason” sorts of posts, either. This is a huge fandom and most people can’t even begin to keep track of every creator and their url du jour, and what their personal rules might be regarding interaction with their content. Including a “please don’t add comments” note at the bottom of your posts-- and not in your tags that won’t even show up on reblogs, but in the actual body of the post-- would sincerely help avoid any awkward or unwanted interactions, too. At the end of the day, you are in control of your own fandom experience and the block button exists.

For the record, I block zero fandom blogs (which is why I posted this, I wanted it to reach a wide scope... refer to the opening paragraphs as to why).

3. Since this post was partly inspired by a tag I left on that post going around about how “previous tags” mean fuckall on this site (which you can read here), just a reminder that if you like someone’s tags or feel they add value to the post, part of the Peer Review structure of tumblr encourages you to PASTE THEM INTO A REBLOG. If you do this, then at least credit the person who actually wrote the tags! Don’t just copy someone else’s tags into your tags on your reblog of the post without credit either. They were not YOUR tags. (I have had this happen to tag rambles I wrote and someone else got credited with them on a subsequent reblog and it is FRUSTRATING). Just... don’t even bother to write “previous tags” because WHAT PREVIOUS TAGS?! Nobody is gonna bother to chase back the chain of reblogs trying to find where the mystery tags came from, friendos. That way lies madness.

(for the record, since some folks seemed to focus on this point solely, writing “previous tags” on a post isn’t inherently a BAD thing, but for anyone who actually is here for more than one-off shitposting, then it’s sort of a pointless thing in the long run. This wasn’t intended to suggest people who ARE here for one-off shitposting are bad or “doing it wrong,” but for people who might actually want to preserve that hilarious joke or insightful comment. People delete posts and entire blogs all the time around here. Links break. I get that the upcoming generation just shrugs at that and moves on with their lives, but heck... you don’t have to accept that all entertainment is disposable if you don’t want to. There’s a bizarre sort of nihilism plaguing us all about the impermanence of pretty much everything that feels like something we should be fighting against rather than buying into wholesale, even in our escapist entertainment. I’m just exhausted by the complete loss of joy in community.

*shouts from the peanut gallery* IT AIN’T THAT DEEP, JUST GET SOME FRESH AIR AND LOOK AT A PUPPY OR SOMETHING

Yes... yes it isn’t really that deep, but bigger picture in the state of reality we’re all entirely disillusioned with, are we supposed to just give up on everything, including the things we cling to because they bring us a tiny spark of hope that we’re not all just trapped in this dystopian nightmare and things might actually be worth living for?

*peanut gallery clinging to burnt husks of peanuts in a barren peanut field* but this is how we have chosen to cope

Okay... you do you... I feel bad for you but if that’s the case then this post is NOT FOR YOU. AND THAT’S FINE. I honestly do not care if you don’t care! I mean, I’m sorry anyone has to live in a world that drives them to that mindset, but I understand. This post is for anyone who might look at their lives and their choices and think “no wait, I unironically enjoy this and want more from the experience of that enjoyment than I’m currently feeling.” Everyone else can continue with their lives as usual.)

4. CONTENT THEFT IS NEVER OKAY. PERIOD. Things like “credit to the artist” or tagging gifs or images you found on pinterest as “not mine” isn’t actually credit. If you can’t source an image or gif set, DO NOT POST IT! We don’t REPOST (i.e. save an image and then create a new post with it as if it was our own creation). We REBLOG (click the little square arrows and reblog from the actual creator). That goes for gif sets, fanvids, screencaps, meta, fic... everything.

(hopefully everyone here already understands this one, but I felt compelled to include some “these are stupidly obvious” reminders anyway, since this is ostensibly some sort of advice column. This is the equivalent of the warning label on your toaster reminding you not to use it in the bath. Like... duh...)

5. Close kin of item 4 is SOURCE YOUR SHIT. 

(for 100% disclosure purposes, I specifically discussed this one in this specific way because of an influx of anon ask messages I received in the wake of the finale. Literally the inciting incident for creating this entire post was what I can only assume was a joking ask about a comment Misha made at a con years ago. Someone actually bothered to take the time to type out those sentences to me. I have no idea what they were expecting in reply, or what could possibly motivate them to send this comment about something so entirely random from, again, several years ago. Just a joke? No idea, but whatever... it got me thinking that there might actually be people who are new to the fandom who MIGHT actually care about the fandom history, and maybe they just don’t know where to go for that info, or how to even begin searching through 16 years of history for things they might actually find enjoyment in, rather than just hauling random out of context garbage out on main and pointing and laughing about it now. People are actually allowed to care about things. It’s not cringeworthy to actually care about things, and you are not alone in actually caring, and there’s this whole big room over here full of people who are thrilled to share in that with you. This post is intended FOR THOSE PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY, so if that is not you, please just continue walking by.)

Yes, I know lots of y’all are new around here right now, but dredging up stuff from years ago that fandom has completely debunked and presenting it as TRU FAX again is just exhausting. We’re not trying to be party poopers, but seriously, we have seen it all and are mostly done with extinguishing bags of flaming dog poop on our front porches for the umpteenth year in a row. I’ve seen a lot of posts that have the same tone as “I saw Goody Proctor dancing with the devil” or “I heard kylo ren has an eight pack” and just... the information is there for anyone who cares enough to find it.

This goes double for “why is nobody talking about this thing I just discovered while watching the show for the first time?!” And, oh hon, we have talked it all into the ground over the last fifteen years. We’re happy you’re discovering it again, but I promise we talked about it plenty when the episodes originally aired. We have such a rich meta history that lots of us have worked really hard to preserve. I encourage you to seek it out, if nothing else than as historical artifacts. The way we have discussed the show has been a 16-year evolution. People have written literal doctoral dissertations on this show. Your shitposts are fun! We love reliving our own experience through fresh eyes, and seeing your wonder at experiencing it all again for the first time! But y’all didn’t invent this fandom in the last six months, either.

Meta Sources and Minerals provided by our friendly neighborhood fandom archivist, @lets-steal-an-archive

Academic books and articles about SPN 

A collection of Meta Essays going back to s1 and organized by topic (all of this has happened before, all of it will happen again)

SPN Heavy Meta Archive (s1-3)

Mel’s Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-12)

Oranges8hands Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-15, with many similar entries to Mel’s... though ymmv on viewpoint in a lot of these too)

Anyone remember Fandom Wank? Not the concept but the actual LJ... No? Okay have a link to SPN topics that ended up there. Through 2013. We have seen so much... including several fandom containment breaches.

for all your art sourcing needs, please see @theroadsofararchive, the repository for so much fandom art.

need to find a gif of something? canonspngifs is a vast repository of gifsets of the entire series. If the gif you want to use in your post happens to be the first gif in the gifset, in the tumblr gif finder thingy just paste the permalink to that post from canonspngifs (which is easily searchable by episode, character, location, situation, quotes, and sometimes even color and clothing items the actors are wearing... it’s really well organized, especially for tumblr >.>) and the first gif will be automatically linked with credit to the gif creator attached. It makes life easy that way. It’s also convenient when trying to remember something specific but can’t remember what episode it’s from. I’ve used the site to jog my memory before going to the superwiki armed with more specific search results to find episode quotes and references. Or sometimes I just scroll through all the nice gifs for fun, too.

Need a screencap of something and know exactly which episode it’s from? Try Home of the Nutty. You might not find the exact screencap you’re looking for, but they have a complete set of caps of every episode, and it’s an incredibly useful resource for quick reference checks and the like. Just give pages a chance to fully load before clicking on the next one. The site is easily overloaded, but it’s still free to use (and again, with credit... Pretty much every screencap on my entire blog is from HotN unless otherwise credited).

As you can see, this is a fandom built on preserving our history. You absolutely are not required to engage with any of this if that’s not of interest to you, but I can only assume that there are people who would be interested in it if only they knew it existed and how to find it. Well, now they do.

6. A few more notes on tags, and how they work on tumblr. The first 20 tags on your ORIGINAL posts are searchable sitewide, so if you want to be able to find something again, tag that thing first before going on general tag rambles. The only place tags on reblogs are searchable is on your own blog. So you don’t have to put 50 tags trying to get a post seen if it’s a reblog. You’re just spitting into the wind at that point. If you have a filing system for finding things again, then by all means add those tags (again, in the first 20, so they’re searchable), but you don’t need to tag a reblog “destiel” and “deancas” and “dean” and “cas” and “dean x cas” or whatever. Pick one for your personal blog’s filing system, that’s all you need.

(this was only added because tagging and searching on this site is so very broken... I get that a lot of folks don’t care about ever searching their own blogs again for anything, so this one only really applies if you do often find yourself trying to find old posts. If not, then it’s not really relevant.  It took me years to work out a decent tagging system, and at the beginning of my time here I never thought I’d end up camping out here for a decade and falling this deep into the fandom, and I regretted my lack of consistent tags only years later when I realized I actually wanted to be able to go back and find specific old posts again. So... for anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, working out a sensible tagging system really helps if you’re here for the long term. I personally tag content by episode, because some of my other general tags are so large as to be practically useless as a search term. But whatever system you choose to file stuff on your own blog, it really only has to make sense to you. And again, if this is pointless advice for someone who has no intention of settling here for the long term. Please feel free to ignore it. I just wish someone had explained it this way to me ten years ago and saved me the hassle of retroactively tagging something like 30k posts... especially now that using the mass tag replacer is the fastest way to get your entire blog deleted... oops? so yeah, don’t use the mass tag replacer either >.>)

7. Tags on Tumblr DO NOT WORK LIKE TAGS ON TWITTER. If you @ someone in the body of the post, it will show up in their notifications (if they’re the sort of person who even checks their notifications... not all of us do. For the record, I generally don’t...), but putting actor or ship names in the tags on a tumblr post does absolutely nothing. It’s not the same as tagging the actor’s twitter account in a tweet. Nobody’s getting notifications about you tagging a post about Jensen here as “Jensen Ackles.” There is a difference. Please learn it. (and don’t take headcanons and ESPECIALLY RPF or otherwise explicit art or fic from tumblr to twitter and tag the actors in it. That’s just... not okay.)

(I have seen the pearl clutchers getting all in a huff about the mere existence of RPF or even explicit content of fictional characters if it doesn’t meet their purity standards, but tagging those things allows people who don’t want to see it to actively avoid that content here. Nobody has a right to tell people their fictional content shouldn’t exist at all, or that creators of that fictional content somehow deserve harassment or threats for having dared to create such “immoral” content, won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children... and no... you do not do that here. Don’t be the problematic behavior you wish to ban from the world. Learn to use tags to protect yourself from, as i have attempted to emphasize here, fictional content you are personally upset by. That’s a you problem, not a problem for the creators of potentially upsetting content that they tag appropriately for.)

8. General formatting stuff: If you’re writing long text posts, visually break them up so people aren’t faced with one long wall of text. The enter key is your friend. Also, if you put long text posts under a Read More break and send people to your blog to finish reading, please ensure that your blog is actually visually accessible (tiny text, or light grey text on a dark grey background, or a visually busy background might be aesthetically pleasing to you but nobody can actually read it. Loads of folks won’t even try. Which is great if you don’t actually care whether people are able to appreciate your content or not, but something to at least consider if you *do* actively want to encourage engagement with your work. Confirm how your blog looks on both mobile and desktop and make sure it’s actually functional in both, too).

And since I mentioned that most of my experience on fandom tumblr has been in the SPN fandom, here’s a bit of a reminder for folks who are new around here. With the reminder that I have been here more than a decade and still feel like a newbie myself sometimes...

This is an OLD FANDOM. There are many, many people who have been at this longer than some of you have been alive. The average age for creators in this fandom is older than you think (I think of my friends in their 30′s as young’ins okay? okay). With that understood, you are responsible for the content you consume and are exposed to. Curate your experience. Ship and let ship. YKINMKATOK. Don’t deliberately expose yourself to content you find upsetting for whatever reason. Tags and warnings are your friends, not targets for you to attack in some sort of purity war. People will ship things you do not like (or in specific ways you do not like), will say things you do not agree with, and will find their happiness in things you abhor. That is not your concern. Find what you do like, and support and engage with it, and ignore (or block, or unfollow) the rest. Tumblr has a feature that lets you blacklist tags so the content you’re trying to avoid won’t appear on your dash.

Remember the paradox of tolerance.

It is not your job in fandom to police how other people enjoy the fandom. It’s not *my* job to police how *you* enjoy the fandom, UNLESS your enjoyment is in actively harming other real human beings in the fandom. If you don’t like their take on the character or the show or the plotlines or their ships or anything else, you don’t need to engage with their posts at all! The necessary corollary to this is that clarifying misunderstandings or correcting factual misinformation is not “policing.” 

(this is where the peanut gallery reminds me it ain’t that deep, and I plead with them to put down the social media and find just one (1) thing to actually believe in in this godforsaken life, find something other than disdain and cynicism and spite to live for. If those things motivate you to find a larger cause for yourself, then great, use them to your advantage, but use them to find something that makes you a better person or brings you a modicum of joy and connection to your fellow human beings despite living in a dystopian hellscape of a world)

I have seen a lot of posts lately that are founded on the sort of authority that comes with “I watched through tumblr for a few months and then watched the last three episodes of the series” and as such are just... missing the larger context of the entire show, and are unfounded entirely in canon. I 100% appreciate the new enthusiasm for the fandom that we’ve been living in here for years, and it’s wonderful to see new people enjoying the thing we love. Your headcanons are valid, you are valid, but recognize that your headcanons aren’t canon. All of us finale denialists have accepted this in some measure, so we feel you. We truly, truly feel you. But regarding actual canon, we have a resource for that: the Superwiki. Learn it, live it, love it, as Metatron would say.

(which you could discover he said in 10.17 Inside Man, thanks to the superwiki! accept no substitutes!)

(and again, there have been people who have been involved in fandom for years who haven’t engaged with canon in years, either! You can play in this universe however you choose, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT CANON AT ALL, WHICH I AM AGAIN POINTEDLY SAYING MIGHT NOT BE YOU, READER, AND I’M NOT SUGGESTING YOU ARE WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE WITH CANON, but if you DO want to engage with canon, please have some useful resources. Why do people feel personally attacked by being presented a list of helpful resources? Absolutely baffling.)

(also: words have definitions. “Canon” is a specific thing, meaning in this case “the finished media product that aired on television.” Anything beyond those limits is secondary canon (think: john’s journal, which is not canon but canon adjacent at best...), word of god (i.e stuff said by the writers and showrunners), or headcanon (which includes actor commentary-- they may have helped create the show with their acting choices and whatever, but they are not in control of the story overall). If there’s something you dislike about actual canon, you can reject it and supplement it with your own theories or preferred outcomes-- that’s basically what fanfic is-- but that doesn’t make your theories canon (much to all our dismay, that’s just not how any of this works. This is not to invalidate how anyone engages with the show or the fandom, just trying to clarify what seems to have been a source of unintentional misunderstandings. Your theories do not have to be “canon” to be legitimate interpretations.)

***I am setting this section apart, and did make a separate post of just this following information, because this is where we go from being relatively chill about different parts of fandom choosing to interact in different ways and you do you and blog however you want, to “hey can everybody please understand that the way you are interacting with this specific material might be harmful for specific legal reasons, and stating that you do not care about the consequences of your actions does actively make you the asshole here...” Okay, now that we have that understood:

The spnscripthunt collective has been steadily acquiring new scripts (which are posted in full on the superwiki for everyone to enjoy, for free). The language around how some folks are talking about these scripts is... concerning. For very real legal reasons, actually, and not because we’re feeling precious about the collection and don’t wike it when meanies use them in shitposts.

-First off, these scripts are not “leaks.” They are all verified and legally purchased (or gifted, in some cases, but still acquired entirely above board. we didn’t whack anyone over the head in a back alley for these scripts, or swipe them out of someone’s trailer on set).

(in case anyone was unaware, these scripts are the copywritten protected property of Warner Brothers. So yes, how we use them and share them with the fandom could have legal repercussions. We present them as a collected resource of fandom history which SHOULD fall under Fair Use doctrine, but this is untested legal water. Insinuating that the scripts are somehow not entirely legally obtained, or that posting them for public access involved less than 100% transparent and entirely legal transactions is incredibly concerning.

Once again for the peanut gallery, if you don’t care about any of that and are just having a good time with it, at least be mindful of the work and expense a large group of people have gone through to acquire and present the content you’re all too eager to exploit for cheap thrills. Some of us do actually care and are not exactly comfortable with the fact that others don’t seem to care about burning it all to the ground. We can’t force you to listen or behave as we’d hope you might, but at least be aware of the potential consequences of your actions. All we’re asking is for you to not be the douchebag who sets the whole neighborhood on fire with your illegal fireworks display. Is that too much to ask for? more on that in a second, first... a psa)

-If you see a script for sale and are unsure if it’s legit (or believe it might already be freely available in our collection), please feel free to ask us for advice. Our goal is to make as much of our fandom history available to the entire fandom, and we absolutely do not want anyone shelling out money for stuff you can already find for free.

(seriously, we’ve seen a bunch of resellers cropping up selling printed versions of the scripts we bought and uploaded for everyone to enjoy free of charge, or scripts that are otherwise of dubious origin. We’ve been at this for years now and know what’s actually out there. We don’t want anyone to fall for a scam if we can help it)

-Also, the usual reminder that the scripts we acquire ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE FINAL SHOOTING DRAFTS. In fact, the majority of scripts in our collection are NOT. Changes are made daily to scripts, even during filming. Comparing a Production Draft (white pages, effectively the first “final draft” of what usually becomes a series of drafts before filming wraps) to a much later revision (say... green or goldenrod revisions, several of which we DO have in our collection for comparison) and how those earlier drafts often differ wildly from the aired version versus how similar a much later green draft is to the aired version, for example, can teach you a lot about the television writing process. The link above to the superwiki scripts page has a nice little explainer about how this process works.

Differences between our posted scripts (many of which are white drafts, aka FIRST complete drafts, which will likely go through multiple rounds of revisions before filming even begins) and the aired version of the show are not all “acting choices” or a director or editor just cutting whole scenes on a whim. It’s insulting to everyone involved in production to suggest that’s the case.

(and yeah, fine... whatever, make any sort of posts you like regarding how those changes came about, but at the very least understand that it’s not actually the truth about how any of this works. Don’t care that that’s not the truth and want to make the posts anyway because shitposting is fun and that’s the extent of your sense of humor? FINE! You’re entitled to do that! But at least you DO know the truth now, and hopefully so do the people who engage with your posts. Deliberate ignorance isn’t cute, smooth lions notwithstanding)

There’s probably a whole other post to be made on fandom tagging etiquette, but again I don’t really use the tags enough to know what’s going on with that whole situation. I’ve also probably left a lot of stuff out, so please feel free to add things I’ve overlooked.

Thanks also to @trisscar368 and @thayerkerbasy for help compiling this, too. They were kind enough to escort me through the park to feed these pigeons. Now I need to take them out for ice cream. :’D

So I guess welcome to the neighborhood. Make yourself at home, but like... try not to trash the place while you’re here. Some of us live here by choice, lol.