#i miss when we were a family
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#i feel so sick#i miss when we were a family#i miss Excalibur#I’m literally crying and fake yawning after so my niece just thinks I’m tired#my chest feels sick and hurts#i just wanna roll over and fall asleep but my niece is awake#and I gotta do something with my half eaten dinner or my sister will get mad#I’m tired I don’t think I’m taking the energy to care anymore#everything feels hopeless#all I can think about is how badly I want to die#i wish I was dead#my sister never answered my text#my dad never answered my texts#my heart keeps panging and shooting#i don’t think I’m made for this world#i keep fucking up#i can’t blank out right now#but it keeps happening#i keep zoning out but I can’t do that around Able#i can’t even breathe or finish my sentences#my niece is here I can’t fucking do this rn#i can’t breathe#I’m such a fuck up im such a fuck yo I’m such a fuck up#i can’t think clearly I’m freaking out#feels like I’m gonna die if I have to spend one more minute talking#I’m tired#i wanna die so bad I’m so fucking useless#fuck….#i give up
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers��� blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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#I miss them like family#ever since the finale came out time has felt so slow#lokius#loki#mobius#loki series#currently reminiscing about peak s2 tumblr#back when we could theorize about if they were gonna get their happy ending#man those were the days
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Thinking about how Pomme is q!Antoines only child. Baghera has Dapper and Tilin, Etoiles has Dapper and Pepito, Aypierre has Richas, Bad has Dapper, but Pomme is his. He's a half crazed past scientist and possible god but he is also a father to one child and one alone. That is how much space in is his heart. And what experiments did he even do? Why does the Federation consider them a failure? Was it his "failed" research that was an overture for the eggs? What about Baghera? Was she created before or after his work? Did he know? And what about Aypierre? They were watching Pierre for years, did he know then? How long has this gone on? How long does the betrayal backlog? How long has Pomme been an only child? In the Watchful Scribes library at The End of The World there is no place for her.
(this post is brought to you by this clip that still drives me crazy to this day.)
#sorry just thinking about how robbed we were#“give it back pomme” q!antoine i am going to hunt you for sport#i miss the french family these guys were so crazy#like wtf do you mean Antoine was a main scientist in the Fed and when pierre was having “strange dreams”#Antoine is the one he went to#I need one last livestream with Baghera and Antoine so she can guess the plot perfectly like she did that one time#when she said maybe there was something in the nether the feds were trying to control and antoine got really tense suddenly#call him out queen#him calling aypierre a “A true wily old fox” BRO WHAT#qsmp#q!pomme#q!antoine#q!aypierre#q!baghera
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actually its kind of crazy how little we actually see the starblaster crew interact with each other. like other than tres horny boys and each of the pairs in that trio, and like, arguably lucretia and thb, barry and lup, and lup and taako, most of the relationships between the crew are only a few lines, if anything? like obviously in-universe they're all really close and griffin says that (time enough to grow indescribably close), but there's a lot we don't see. like, taako & barry, for example, have a handful of moments, lines we can point to that show they are really close (you're my family, taako, can i speak frankly?), but as far as actual screentime, there's really very little.
and even those i mentioned before, like, lup has more screentime with barry and taako than with anyone else, there's the whole little legato monologue about her and barry's relationship and she has (comparatively) a lot of scenes with taako, but also, as a character, she's only around for maybe a sixth of the show, so there's just not a lot of time to work with?
and that's not to mention the relationships we can figure were probably present in-universe, but literally never see, like lup & davenport. and on that note, i actually can't think of any other pairs who don't interact at least once, but still, very rarely. like now i'm considering davenport & barry. who we hardly see but there is the fact that barry cast command on him to drink the ichor. it's one line in the show and the implications are never really mentioned but there's a lot of significance to be wrung out of this one tiny interaction. barry condemns lucretia's methods of stealing agency from their family in the service of the greater good, but when he thinks it's best for davenport, does the same on a smaller scale? barry doesn't have the time to try to convince him to drink, he needs davenport back to himself now, because davenport is someone dependable, a leader, someone who barry knows will be capable and decisive and relieve him of the responsibility he's been shouldering by himself? that barry knows davenport won't begrudge his use of the spell, because he'll see it as pragmatic, necessary, assistance, and forgive him for it? none of that is necessarily supported in canon but it can be extrapolated from, again, kind of a throwaway line.
the non-thb crew have presence and are important to the narrative, but most of that comes from thematic significance rather than them as individuals, you know? we hardly see lup and barry and davenport (maybe arguably lucretia too, though we see more of her than them), but we see the echoes of their decisions and their goals and their love for the rest of their family and the way they shape the story.
but actually, even that's not entirely accurate, because as significant as they are in that way, their presence isn't only due to that, they're full characters too. they have personalities and depth and connection, they're not only plot devices. like, maybe griffin needed to explain why lup was missing, and that's why she became a lich, and her needing to be a lich is why she and barry had their romance, but also, if that were all there was to it, the legato monologue wouldn't exist, the best day ever wouldn't exist. those are scenes designed to build lup as a character through her connections to other characters and to the central themes of balance, not to fix plot holes. it's just that all of that character building takes place in a pretty small fraction of the show compared to tres horny boys, who have the entire thing. idk its interesting and impressive how some of the deepest characters and most profound relationships were developed in a very short amount of time
#mine#balance#taz#taz balance#analysis#and by profound relationships i DO mean the twins its still crazy to me that the mcelroys were able to make that work#introduce a new character who is absolutely fundamental to another established character's identity and have it make sense and feel right#in just the way that getting memories of lup back feels right to taako. like everything's slotted into place. like she was always there.#like we were missing her the whole time and didn't even know it. just like he was#but of course i also mean the whole crew together all seven birds#in a similar way. it just feels right that they're all together. it just feels right that they're a family.#when we find out it all feels like it was true the whole time#even when we don't see all the details of it the foundation is there. so when griffin says it's true we don't doubt it#anyway. all that to say. its funny how convinced griffin is at first that he'll be a terrible dm when he's actually a very good storyteller
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~ A Night in the Life of a Bat in Gotham
This is such a cute short story! The bat following Batman around, copying him, and being a detective with him! Bruce caring about stopping animal abuse and trafficking! Bruce saying that the bats of Gotham aren't his pets, they are their family! And he knows each one of them! I didn't know I needed Bruce gently holding a bat and calling it "my hero" until now, it's fucking adorable!
And the whole thing is a metaphor about the Batfam! About how they cannot be kept in captivity, how their falily is important and they need it, but each of them comes and goes as they wish and they respect it, and each have their own story to tell.
#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#dick grayson#damian wayne#barbara gordon#nightwing#robin#batgirl#dc comics#my ramblings#also a nice reminder that Bruce was going to marry into an eco-terrorist family of course animal rights matter to him#I want to see Bruce calling bats his family in front of the JL that don't know his secret identity#they would immediately go “so you are a bat that mutated into a humanoid form? or you were raise by bats? right?#Bruce presenting the bats to the JL members who came to the cave:#These are my ladies. This is Jill. This is my lady Amy. Little Suzy. Brianna. You know why we call her Brianna? It's a long story.#Shaniqua. Helga. Miss Kitty. Ginny I dream of her. Theresa. This is Theresa right here.#Is he serious? Is he fucking with them? Both#Tumblr fuck up my tag the first time wtf? Like they were all in order when I put it in queue and they were chaos once posted
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Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.
Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.
#I am SICK of Miri’s voice ngl#I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. That’s why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end#They are precious#Rei is so cute I love this guy#He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie 👏💖#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special#They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part#It’s more natural than breathing. They’re always saying stuff like « it’s not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#it’s not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together#Except that scene it’s so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we don’t have a reason to live together anymore » lol man#Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sth’s missing#and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. He’s my partner. » line 💕💍#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they can’t be separated.#kazurei#No homo daddies#Buddy daddies#kazuki x rei#Domestic gays
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Jung Yeseo🥺🫶🤎
#twsb#when the third wheel strikes back#서브 남주가 파업하면 생기는 일#섭남파업#jung yeseo#jesse venetiaan#(not rly but just covering all my bases)#my art#spent all day working on this on and off on my phone and now im sleepy#drew him w his webnovel hair🥺 i miss it i wish they didnt change it for the webtoon#if they kept his comma bangs w the webtoons artstyle he wouldve been too powerful and everyone would perish tho i get it...#they had to nerf him...🛐 to preserve his just some guy energy KFJJD#i like the comma bangs tho bc it makes him look more diff from jesse venetiaan.. and also kim dokja fkdn#also wanted to draw his oversize cardigan w the moe sleeves... hehe#sidenote my mutual informed me earlier before drawing this that the jung family including yeseo r canonically attractive????#to the extent that yeseo was scouted to be an idol several times in hs????? WHAT#and this info hit me like a truck... like WHAT . i thought we were all drawing him pretty out of love and delusion--#SCOUTED TO BE AN IDOL... (and apparently he turned them all down bc it was assumed to be a scam fmfndnd)
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Yes my brother is an annoying little brat. But touch him and you're dead.
#I miss him so bad after seeing that post#I remember how I'd confront the kids who used to mess with him when we were kids#I love him#girl talk#desiblr#desi tumblr#desi teen#desi shit posting#spilled thoughts#siblings#little brother#family#kids#childhood
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if angel was raised on pandora it means that she and jack lived as residential settlers during dahls occupation. grogmouth likely worked for the flynts who, being a high status family at the time, in turn worked for dahl. baron flynt was the warden of thor, a dahl mining rig that doubled as a prison. the companys sole interest in pandora to begin with was to extract eridium and find alien relics, so a siren would be a priceless bargaining chip for their efforts. all of this to say its very possible that the flynts were the ones who sent out the order for angel to be kidnapped.
#borderlands#bandit rewrite#angel borderlands#grogmouth#handsome jack#baron flynt#i also doubt that the flynt family was technically a “bandit clan” at the time. more likely they were locals who had political power.#and were able to quickly fill the gap in leadership once dahl ran off. most bandit clans werent really a thing until then. there was crime.#but there was also a lot more law and a different way of doing things. baron being warden especially gave him a lot of chances to harm.#even if he had the support of the prisoners that were freed he still that maintained authority over them.#^ still obsessed with a character who died 15 years ago.#all we really know about the flynts is that their power is generational but we dont know their parents.#hell we're missing one of the 4 siblings we do have and the only named heir between them is sparky.#there is the possibility that grogmouth was working alone but ehhhh. no one ever Works Alone on pandora. theres always a boss.#always someone else. some random bastard with a few stolen turrets isnt going to have a way to contact dahls corporate overlords.#the flynts would though. and that power kept them in atlas good graces when they took over the planet. why else would steele defend them?
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so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell
#yes i read 'carry on' by rainbow rowell in middle school what else could you have possibly expected from me. anyway she gives me simon snow#vibes and not in a good way and she's even blonde while her british vampire boyfriend has dark dark hair and just. you will never be basil.#also i hate to be that guy but the writing has made me physically recoil and the acting almost reads as silly but mostly as middling :/ and#i wanted and expected more from matthew goode bc i really liked him in downton but i guess this is a 2018 bbc modern vampire fantasty serie#like i guess.#also there's SO much shit about bloodlines and maybe i'm gay with a blood disorder amd a family history of adoption but like. who fucking#careeessssssssss it ahould not be that serious. why is it that serious.#also the fantasy racism kind of reads like it's mesnt to be? homophobic adjacent? like there's a Lot of 'love who you love' talk going on#for the single most bland heterosexual relationship i've ever seen on a screen like there is so little chemistry? so little#anyway it's called 'a discovery of witches' and i'd recommend not watching it 🫶 or if you do then watch it on 1.5x speed#it's been decent background noise for knitting bc i kinda sorta care about the plot but if miss a chunk bc i'm in the lace chart zone i do#not care and i do not have to go back to catch it bc the writing is so transparent#there was another series it stole from that's escaping me atm but when i noticed it pissed me off a touch. hmm maybe it will come back to m#a post#do not watch this show#I REMEMBERED they wanted the juliette holding diana captive moment to be joaquin's 'i want to watch you fuck her' from sense8 SOOOOO BAD bu#it WASN'T bc they were too afraid to lean into anything that would make juliette interesting at all. for being all about the world's most#special blonde woman this show does not seem to like women very much. sad! well there's other shows#OH ALSO ALSO there are 3 magical 'creature' species which are witch + vampire + femon except the demons don't seem? to have any magical#abilities that humans don't have besides sensing the species of other creatures? like witches can cast spells and vampires do their various#vampire things but demons have nothing going for them except disproportionately high rates of homelessness and suicide?? like girl what are#we doingggggggg what are we doing here !! what's their deal why does no one care !! can they do anything or no !! god this show sucks
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"[Elizabeth Woodville] was the only member of [Crown Prince Edward of Westminster's] original 1471 council not already on the king’s council and her name headed the list of those appointed as administrators in Wales during Edward’s minority. [She remained on the council after it was expanded in 1473 and granted significant new governing and judicial powers]."
"In 1478 Prince Richard [of Shrewsbury] married the Mowbray heiress. Like his elder brother he had a chancellor, seal, household and council to manage his estates. His council, like that of Prince Edward, comprised the queen [Elizabeth Woodville] and a group of magnates and bishops, few of whom were Woodville supporters [...] It was Elizabeth who mattered, for Richard resided with her and Rivers treated his affairs as their own."
-J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Michael Hicks, Richard III and his Rivals: Magnates and their Motives in the Wars of the Roses
#good👏🏻 for 👏🏻 her#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#15th century#english history#princes in the tower#my post#Reminder that these sort of additional official positions in governance were very unusual (unprecedented) for late medieval English queens#Elizabeth's formal appointment in royal councils (+ authority over her sons) should not be ignored or downplayed in the slightest bit#It should instead be considered one of the most defining aspects of her queenship that spanned over a decade and lasted right till the end#& should also be highlighted as one of the most vital topics of discussion when it comes to broader queenly power in late medieval England#I think it also says a lot about Elizabeth's relationship to Edward IV and the regard he seems to have had for her capabilities#'The only member of the original 1471 council not already on the king’s council' that speaks VOLUMES. Once again: good for her.#It's also really frustrating how some historians (Katherine J. Lewis; AJ Pollard; Laynesmith etc) have incredibly lopsided perspectives on#Elizabeth that fundamentally *do not work* when you remember these actual facts and what they reveal about her power and influence#I'm also still baffled at Lynda Pidgeon's claim that 'Elizabeth's influence with Edward IV was less than with family members who were#part of the king's council or that of her son Edward prince of Wales'. Like???????#First of all - we *already know* that Elizabeth had the most personal influence with Edward and was the one he trusted the most#The case in 1480 & his own will in 1475 (where he referred to her as the one 'in whom we most singularly place our trust') make both clear#Second of all - ELIZABETH WAS LITERALLY ON HER SONS' COUNCILS HERSELF. HER NAME HEADED THE GODDAMN LIST. How have you missed this????????#It's actually bizarre because it completely ignores the fact that 1) Late medieval queens *weren't* generally given positions like this?#If we accept Pidgeon's (false) interpretation we have to claim that NONE of them were influential at all#Which I'm pretty sure nobody agrees with? So why have I seen people agreeing with Pidgeon's FALSE take on Elizabeth based on that lmfao?#2) Elizabeth WAS in fact given such positions. She genuinely was given unusual authority and was an Exception™ rather than the rule#Forget emphasizing her atypical role - Pidgeon has outright erased it in an effort to diminish her#She does the same thing when talking about Elizabeth's role after Edward IV's death and it's equally ridiculous and incorrect#There's stupidity and then there's willful misreading & rewriting of history according to your own imagination. This fits the latter
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Been thinking, there's an issue with how creators and readers often approach the theme of "coming back wrong", since so much of the emphasis ends up being put in the "they came back part". Especially on the readers' side, the idea that someone would do whatever it takes to bring you back is parsed as romantic and devoted, which it can be, but it overlooks a big element of the concept.
Coming back wrong, or even just performing forbidden rituals etc in general, for it to be impactful needs to place a big AND constant focus on the in-universe equivalents of Do Not Resuscitate & bodily autonomy when one can't consent.
It's not just the coming back. It's that you don't know what type of body, what type of mind you're coming back to. It's the dysphoria, if it can exist (and it should), and the expectation that you'll be okay with whatever was done to your inert body when you couldn't decide over it. You're back, you're alive, surely you can get over the circumstances under which it happened, be thankful.
You don't even need to get abstract with "the inherent feeling of wrongness that comes from being brought back from death", most humans can't relate to that, it's vague to the point where it isn't real stakes. It's just a non-issue mentioned to give a fake sense of stakes.
But if you take inspiration on DNR, from people whose lifestyle was changed radically from being saved from a situation where they may have preferred to be allowed to pass on. Like, say:
You come back, and you gotta learn to use your body from zero, and you'll be reliant on others forever. Or you come back and you look so different you feel disconnected from yourself, and every waking moment is uncomfortable. Or you come back, and too much time has passed, you feel like the life you were meant to live got away from you. Or you come back, and what was done to your changes you so fundamentally you end up isolated even if it's no one's intention. Or the ones that brought you back didn't do it selfishly but out of entitlement to your life.
The wrongness needs to be acknowledged often to the point of tediousness, only then would the spectator get a real sense of "okay, I see now why that'd be an issue, and why many would hate it".
#Thinking of The Arcana (Asra's Route which was uncomfortable to me and apparently no one else. which was a shame bcs i think the +#discomforting angle is way more interesting than the hopelessly devoted romantic one. ESPECIALLY because Asra gives up half their heart but#we never really understand how that realistically affects them like. the way it's such a non-issue you'd think they were a donor -#to a hair transplant !) vs. Stories like SHE MAKES HUNGRY (scientists loses whole human life) or FACING THE SUN (survival guilt + chronic -#pain + wretched familial relations forever turned into toxic waste sludge)#been thinking about how it is done in Dungeon Meshi but I'd have to reread. I'm not sure Falin lost anything that would actually be missed#when she was brought back but I'd have to reread. kind of feels like anyone who interacted with the Lion lost something bigger#but that isn't even the same circumstances anymore. those guys were essentially dealing with the devil lol. really gotta reread paying -#attention to that though.#rambles#well! on the topic of the Arcama Lucio probably represents the price of coming back wrong best but not even really? he WANTED to come back.#in a way everything happens bcs he wanted to get his way with everything forever. so that's not quite it.
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actually while I'm thinking about All The Ways School Wrongs You. fuck the whole seven classes shit they make you do in like what. middle school?. do you know how many times i cried bc I couldn't find a room number. how many nightmares i had about that same scenario
#i was one of them low income families so i got free lunch ✌️ fucking hated having to run to the cafeteria so i had a chance to eat at all#bc my class before it was too far away for me to just Walk#& then in highschool when it was just four classes it was the same shit. a lot of panicking &crying every quarter when we got new schedules#STILL had nightmares abt not being able to find my classes#only saving grace schedule wise was theatre class it was right next to the cafeteria and turned out to be very fun#only other saving grace everithing-else wise was that my friends were there i miss them i wish we could hang out again#words from the monarch
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i miss filipino lance and vietnamese keith :(
#mostly i miss when we were allowed to have headcanons without people losing their shit#but i miss them especially#i also miss when lances family was speculative it was way more fun
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#this post is dumb but i enjoy polls on here lol#a teeny tiny look into why I'm Like This#my favorite potion was “raven's blood” which was just a shit ton of koolaid mix in a tiny bottle that solidified. we kept it for 7 years#the lost in the woods story is also hilarious bc we were lost for like 4 hours & her family was worried but mine was like nah. ur grounded#and the ice skating one omfg the pond was literally cracking when we were in the middle of it#i was spoiled hanging out at her house bc they lived on a small horse farm so we had so many great outdoor adventures#and movie nights were soooo much fun bc her dad would pirate us literally any movie we asked for#okay I'm done rambling i just miss her n it was fun remembering things we did together hahah#angel rambles#angel asks
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