#i might even watch it next week!
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Sophie, have you watched Kaos? I just watched a couple episodes and it's so so clever, I'm really enjoying how they translate all the Greek mythology to this kind of fantastical contemporary world. And it has Janet McTeer.
I haven't! I hadn't even heard of it, anon, but that sounds really fun. I'll add it to my list.
#i might even watch it next week!#my sister and nephews are staying with me next week and we usually end up watching a series after they go to bed#this sounds like something we'd both enjoy too so i'll suggest it#thanks for the rec!#tv asks
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WIP Wednesday - Chapter 6 of The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher
“Am I— Did I interrupt something?” Stan asks a little awkwardly.
“Nah,” Bill, who recovers much faster from gaping at Stan like a fish, leans back into the bench before punching Pine Tree’s shoulder. “Kid was just heading out to go break windows or something.”
“Better hope it’s not these windows or [you’re] cleaning it up,” Stan tells Bill before reaching out, shoving the bill of Pine Tree’s hat down over his eyes. Pine Tree grumbles and fixes it before turning a far brighter smile on Stan.
“Your sister’s looking for you. Something about trying to make a suit out of glitter.”
“Oh. Great.” Pine Tree rubs his face and gets to his feet. “Thanks, Grunkle Stan.”
He goes to the door and pauses to look at Bill for a second.
“Just… you know, I think you’re right. I think things will be okay again soon.”
Bill’s brow furrows as Pine Tree heads back inside before he starts chuckling as he shakes his head.
“Weird kid.”
“They’re receptive,” Stan says as he takes up Pine Tree’s seat and Bill tries not to groan. “Not that you’ve made it exactly hard to miss that things are weird between you and my brother. I think the temperature in the room drops by ten degrees every time one of you walks into it. And I thought things were bad with my ex-wife! Ha!”
Bill winces at that, pulling a face as he leans forward to bury his face in his hands.
“Yeah, well, we weren’t even dating—“
“No, you two were just sucking face anytime you were left unsupervised.”
“Please, Pine Tree already got onto me for this. I fucked up and—“
“Summoned a demon, yeah, I heard.”
Bill’s blood runs cold and he looks between his fingers at Stan. …he’s not swinging, he’s not snarling, and Bill can say he’s almost positive that this isn’t Stan then.
“…and you’re cool with that?”
“What? Oh, no, absolutely not. I almost strangled you in your sleep when my brother told me.”
Billy, admittedly, feels a little better with that admission.
“He also said that you came to him to get rid of said demon.”
“Yeah, well… I don’t know. Taking over the universe is so last year.”
Stan snorts at that.
“You’re, like, really cool with that?” Bill tries again. “Don’t want to, I don’t know, punch me in the eye?”
Now Stan shrugs.
“I wouldn’t go that far, but I think watching you walk around on eggshells, convinced one of us is going to take a swing at you or tell the Axolotl—“
“Axo— Oh, wait, no, you said it right.”
“I listen. I’m just saying, you know, you with your tail between your legs ain’t a bad look. Certainly makes me feel better.”
“…but, like, the whole breaking your brother’s heart? Trying to take over the universe? You’re sure you’ve got no murder held in your very large, very family-oriented heart?”
“Don’t go tempting me, Cipher, but… Ford’s an adult, you’re… maybe an adult, I don’t know, how do demons age?”
“Depends,” Bill admits, pulling a face. “Interdimensional demons live to about a hundred millennia or so, sometimes longer if they take care of themselves.”
“You said you were a dream demon though,” Stan remembers.
“Yeah, well, that’s a little more… complicated.”
Stan cracks open his pitt cola and gestures to Bill. He debates for a second before taking in a deep breath and sighing.
“I was born an interdimensional demon, a very precocious, adorable thing. Even though they’re relatively harmless, mostly brokers for deals made between species, they’ve got their own power. It doesn’t help that I was born… different.”
Bill’s voice gets soft, thoughtful.
“They tried to understand me, probably. They couldn’t though. A world full of two-dimensional idiots, they never understood what I saw, understood how I felt. So it was, you know, a little…”
“Othering?” Stan offers and Bill nods.
“Othering. Everyone adored me. ‘Special Billy’, ‘unique Billy’, ‘Billy who sees things no one else can see’.” […crazy Billy.]
Bill grips the bench a little too tight, knuckles turning white as he looks down at the ground.
“I won’t bore you with the sob story of a universe lost to a monster,” and maybe because it’s bad enough to admit it to Ford, admitting it to Stan who he still doesn’t trust not to come swinging at him is another thing, “but I ended up alone. I was drifting through time and space for, easily, a couple millennia. I spent a lot of time floating amongst the stars I’d stared at so long. I saw galaxies born, galaxies die; I saw nebulae explode and reform; stars would go through entire lifecycles in front of my eyes. It was me and the cosmos, so I guess I didn’t feel alone.
#gravity falls#gf#BillFord#bill cipher#dipper pines#Stan pines#Stanley pines#WIP Wednesday#the redemption and subsequent death of bill cipher#trasdobc#my writing#we are back on track baby!!! this was a rough week and weekend but we are back on schedule!#chapter 6 is typed up chapter 5 is being edited and posted today and then I’m working on chapter 7#as always this story is evolving almost faster than i can keep up with it#we’re getting some new faces (new to the story#old to anyone who’s watched gravity falls) in chapter 7#but mostly I’m trying to get the fuck out of bill and ford are fighting land#to all the people who’ve been like oh they’re so cute oh I’m just so happy for their soft moments: I’m very sorry for these next three#or so chapters#there is no softness here#go back and reread chapter 4#but BUT things do get better again#i promise#i am physically incapable of writing anything that isn’t a happy ending#i will stop making them fight and I might even stop cockblocking them#maybe#we’ll see
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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(//i don't normally do text but cw in the tags erm. i went a little off track)
#inanimate insanity#ii#ii lightbulb#daily lightbulb#scribbly bulb#god. ohh my god. im not doing so hot yall#once again i apologize for suddenly halting on posting; ive had a couple rough days recently and it's constantly crashed my motivation to#even QUEUE SCREENSHOTS. my mental health has been so messed up too and i just had to take a step back#for starters. happy birthday to my baby sister that was born yesterday. like legit. im a big sister now#it's hard getting used to it; i was never good with change#secondly; like in the 100 post i've gained a new fixation thats unfortunately pushed ii to the side#i have adhd and autism so its hard for me to keep up with such a daily routine that includes a media i may end up losing interest in#i LOVE lightbulb and i LOVE ii i just.....need a bit#thirdly; i actually havent seen inside out 2 yet. might end up watching it this week or next week though which will be fun#while waiting in the hospital inside out was playing on the room tv so i wanted to draw smth to get my thoughts out#inside out is one of my favorite. modern? disney movies. rlly means a lot to me.#sorry for ranting i shouldnt dump all my life problems on yall LMAO you just wanna see lb pics#anyways posting will try and resume! cant afford to slack off with ii 15 being so close#if anyone is reading this ty sm for liking my silly blog and i hope you have a good day/night#102
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What if I say what most streaming services are doing(releasing all episodes at once) shouldn’t be a thing in the first place(except maybe for shows like BBC Sherlock lmao)
#coz shows just feels better when I can theorise what’s gonna happen next week#and like I get to interact with the fandom more on a weekly basis#plus I love going home every night to watch a show I was expecting#watching weekly TV was how I dealt with high school#because no matter how shit my day is I can always go home and watch the flash having a even more shitty day#idk might be nostalgia doing its thing I just miss those times
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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...
#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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well 😔 after literally 3+ years of masking and double masking with N95s and KN95s and social distancing and not going anywhere where i can't be assured i won't be in close proximity to someone with COVID ya boy got COVID , , , ,
#my lungs feel like absolute shit man ; ;#it's like a footballer rammed straight into my back and stood on top of my crumpled body for good measure ; ;#all because my brother still hangs out at movies and restaurants with his friends . . . . . . . .#and stupidly i was so excited to see him back after a month of being away#so we sat and watched a movie together on tuesday#and then wednesday he was like 'oh shit turns out i have covid sorry'#ogughgh . . . . . .#apparently he was feeling bad even on tuesday but he has such a history with head colds that COVID didn't even show up on our radar . . . .#i'm paying for it now though hhh ; ;#hindsight 20/20 and all that#can't stop coughing and i'm running a low grade fever#but most of all JESUS my chest hurts so much ; ; ; ; ;#it's like the agony of an asthma attack only so much more focus on the pain than the inability to breathe#i'm lucky that at most it just feels like there are rubber bands around my chest when i try to breathe deeply#but god#i'm supposed to start my internship through my college next week#this. might literally fuck me over in so many ways but hopefully my mentors will be accommodating . . . . .#in any event uhgghghgh i'm just frustrated because i've been so so careful for years and years . . . i never stopped masking . . . . .#i got the vaccine and all the boosters and yet . . . . . . . .
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if I was lola I would have such a crush on ant oh my god how does she do it
#like lollllll I mean I do now and he's not even using my name and grabbing my hand every four seconds#she might be stronger than me#I am loving jungle club!!!!!#sad that I won't really be able to watch it live at all next week
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Okay maybe I was not as functional as I thought I was the last two days. Or today.
#was deadass sure i scheduled my drs appt for today. wrote it down. did my pre check in. no. next thursday. only realized when i got there#and they were like no....was the date on the email?#well. probably. idk. apparently im going through it. sry. see you next week lmao#of course the date was on the fucking email but did i read it? apparently not. or my brain filled in whatever. sry my bad thanks 🙏😔#-pers#i wonder if i fucked up any of my employment paperwork yesterday#or my email responses to my new boss#im not even gonna look. i dont want to know. thats a later problem. i think i need to have a drink and watch a movie or something#edit: im losing it it is next wednesday#i think i might not actually be awake on second thought
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i know i keep posting like this but i could go see the substance tomorrow before evil dead........ i could do this.........
#I WANT TO WATCH THE SUBSTANCE ! but there are too many other things going on woe#like i dont even know if im getting to smile next week that might have to wait another.... bc im not paying full price at that theater#and im still deciding if i want to go to close your eyes
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Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌
#this keeps happening to me with the upcoming december#miki and kiyoteru sv.....im so excited...if they get delayed ill scream#jk jk ill be fine but i do hope we get some demos in November soon!#soyogi still doesnt have a concrete release date but hes also probably december#now if HE gets delayed i will actually explode. i will spontaneously burst into flames#the other night i had a dream about aivoice2 ryuusei coming out. which is a normal thing to happen#it literally was just like i went online and saw videos people made with him SHDBFBSJFNFN#premonition dream...this is what will happen in november#but it reminded me i wasnt as familiar with how aiv2 sounds with a2sync. i like the aiv1 kotonosync situation#BUT it is very noisy and the vocals usually sound like lalavoice with the slightly obvious looping#which is charming but not as versatile in the grand scheme of talk synths made to sing#just the nature of it. but a2sync sounds FANTASTIC i was really shocked. im curious how his#particularly deep voice will sound compared to a more medium gentle tone like iori but im excited#im really curious how he'll sound compared to vv humming ryuusei#now what weve seen of his design.....im not suuuper into quite yet. its not BAD and well see when its fully out#but i dont care for the blue hair bits. im picky about hair dye in alternate designs#i like his gray black default situation too much. also i DO like how slutty his design is looking#but also it might look um. a little too much for a talk synth? like brother whats going on here#why are u so dressed up to chat ....i guess for fun#then again his aiv1 design was also probably more appropriate for singing synths rather than talking But I like that one more LOL#doesnt matter too much for me though im more interested in the unofficial singing side stuff AHDBFHSHFBDJJD#which also reminds me i hope someday aiv1 vy series can get a aiv2 update#a full singing synth would be nicer but i wouldnt mind a talk turned singing synth. i know everyone hates the aiv vy designs#i dont hate them theyre not great but theyre fine for talk synths. i think nancy is hilarious. white woman jumpscare#im not a huge fan of the main fanon vy designs (theyre good but they dont fit to me) so i dont mind the aiv ones#even if its just two random people SHBFJFAJFJFJSJJF but yeah i hope they get a aiv2 someday#i think it would be fun to make em sing with a2sync hee hee#also on the ll end i am so excited for dia birthday album end of dec#AND all the new liella tunes. i still havent watched the new season because i havent been able to sit down and enjoy it yet#but soon....next week ill have time...sooooooon
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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Okay I genuinely need to get shit done tomorrow and Friday
Like. I have so much I've been putting off (burnout but we gonna ignore that)
I'm gonna block my hours lol (is it weird i like planning out what im gonna do instead of actually following it?)
And MAYBE take the bus home tomorrow. Maybe. it IS gonna be super fuckin hot tho (considering bus cause uber be damn expensive and i also have a book i need to read for fiction class)
#I SHOULD HAVE DONE SHIT TODAY I HAD A TON OF TIME BUT NOOOO I SAT IN THE LIBRARY FOR 4 HOURS WATCHING YOUTUBE#AND RECREATING MY SDV ITEM SPREADSHEET TO PREPARE FOR 1.6 EVEN THO THAT COMES OUT IN FUCKIN NOVEMBER#anyways i have no one to blame but myself so i shall not actually complain about the assignments#but i WILL complain about past me#depending on how quickly i finish some things i MIGHT try working ahead a bit#bc im going to a concert next week. and im 99% certain ill probably be very out if it after lol#amber's shit you can ignore#also we gonna bring some snacks tomorrow instead of get food from the food court cause uh#im a little tired of pizza and i can do assignments a lot better w snacks instead of pizza 😅
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Like other users here on Tumblr, I'm also blocking and reporting what seems to be bot accounts every day.
So just want to remind you that if you recently joined or have a main blog that's empty, please do something on that main blog that makes you look like a Tumblr user. It should help from being accidentally blocked and/or reported.
#7rambles#just... gosh had one blog that was just “hey i am here to look at art” and I was like “OK you chill!”#just... do something that is not just leaving defaults on since the bots are starting to do that too...#I have been watching the ebbs and flows of trends for bots over the last month and man each week they do a different tactic#like I can not really say what tactic they are doing now since by the time most people read this...#... they would already be onto the next tactic!#so yeah even if you do not use the main blog for anything except as a way to track your side blogs ... please do something with it#in the end - many might not hop onto your main blog to see if there are likes or follows that make sense...#...just a quick glance at the blog title header banner and icon
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