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bachiras-toaster · 1 year ago

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bsd men as perverts : ̗̀➛

BSD MEN x reader — dazai, poe, sigma, ranpo

content. smut. pervyness, obviously.. somnophilia, panty-stealing, m!masturbation, voyeurism, use of poe’s ability, poe writes smut

wc. 1.6k

DAZAI

Dazai was a shamelessly annoying person and practically everybody at the agency knew it. I mean, it was obvious. He was always flirting with the cafe waitress and you when he should've been doing the work that his job requires of him. He was known throughout the agency as someone who constantly lounged around and someone who only talked about how having a woman in his life would benefit him immensely. And yes, sometimes he would even go far as to do things that others would consider perverted.

Though, it seemed that it really went over people's heads how perverted he actually was. If the agency knew what kind of things Dazai got up to when nobody else was aware, he would either be kicked out faster than the speed of light, or he would've earned a prompt slap across the cheek for his taboo behaviour. Because if just plain flirting with you wasn't enough, Dazai was the type of person that loved to take private possessions of yours. And I mean private private. The kind of stuff that you wouldn't notice if he just took one, like a pair of your used panties... Not to keep, of course. Just to use for himself before exchanging it with another pair in your basket.

At night, he would sneak into your room in the agency dormitories using a key that you had originally trusted with Kunikida— which Dazai had stolen. Dazai would sneak into your room at night while you were asleep and slip onto the bathroom to fish through your laundry basket to take out a pair of underwear he took a liking to. However, as he would ball the piece of clothing into his pocket, he would pass by the beautiful figure of you sleeping, your head facing the ceiling and your lips beautifully parted. He wouldn't ever be able to live with himself if he let such an opportunity go to waste, so whenever he saw the opportunity to, he would kneel beside your sleeping figure and place his index finger onto your chin before planting his lips onto yours.

At first it would be tender, then it would just evolve into him hungrily slipping his tongue into your mouth and letting it wander around. The way he so passionately kissed you, it was an amazement how you never seemed to wake up from it. It would go on for perhaps a whole minute before he would finally pull himself away, satisfied with the fact that he had accomplished what he had entered your room to do. On some nights, he would be so desperate for your lips that he would make out with your unconscious body until his lips turned bright red- Those were the kinds of nights were he felt extremely lovestruck and would stumble out of your room with a fluttery heart- As if he had kissed you for real and you had kissed him back.

POE

He’s very… Imaginative, to say the least. In fact, I think he leaves practically everything up to his own imagination when it comes to you— He can be more creative that way. Unlike the others, he doesn’t need to interact with you in almost any way. He doesn’t even need to look at you to be all worked up: Just the memory of your existence was enough to keep him going when he needed to satisfy himself.

Besides, there was nobody more perverted than a person who wrote stories. And not only that, had the power to make his imagination come true as a result of writing all of these stories. Poe would be absolutely lying if he told you that he didn’t have shelves worth of novels dedicated to you specifically. He thinks he’s rather die than let anyone know he would even do such a thing… Writing fanfiction about you and himself— It’s unheard of! He often felt so ashamed of the act that every time he would write a new novel involving the two of you, he’d change your names every time so it just looks like an innocent, made-up story. The thing was, the main couple very obviously described the two of you that if anyone read further than the first two lines, they’d catch on almost immediately.

You were like his muse. You inspired him to write more- Especially if it was about you. But the more novels he produced, the more infatuated he became. There were times where he had even considered trapping you inside one of the novels in the hopes that you could fall in love with him there, but he poked holes in his own plan when he realised that he wouldn’t be able to get himself inside the novel and he would go crazy if he found out that you’d fallen in love with a character that was supposed to be a version of him. So the only option left is to keep his odd fantasies to himself— All of them. Every scenario, wish, and desire would be kept in the confines of the books he wrote and locked away for no one to see. And although his pervyness requires the least amount of contact, he’s arguably got the dirtiest mind of them all. I mean, what kind of stuff does he write about the two of you when he’s feeling horny…?

SIGMA

He isn't as perverted as the others, but he sure does feel it. His intention is never to objectify you or get you to do something in order to fuel his own sexual desire. In fact, just simply seeing you do mundane tasks and be yourself is enough to get him going- Which is what leads to his perverted tendencies.

When he sees you around the casino, he can't help but feel aroused by your presence. Maybe it would've made sense if the reason he felt turned on by seeing you was because you were wearing something sexy, or because you were flirting with the other guests at the casino, but it wasn't any of that. It was just you being a normal human being- Saying hi to the other people at the casino, handing out drinks, dealing cards... It made him feel even more shameful whenever he'd feel the warmth reach his crotch and he'd have to excuse himself to head to a private room to deal with the matter himself. Perhaps it was something about your kindness or atmosphere that turned him on, but seeing you smile and walk around the building like you were friends with everyone gave him all the motivation he needed to get rid of his erection.

What makes him feel even more perverted is using his authority in the sky casino to his advantage. To sit in the surveillance room with the door locked so nobody could walk in on him as he masturbated to one of the security recordings of you. There were some days he felt like he physically couldn't bring himself to finish unless his eyes were on you- Which is why being in the camera room sure helped out a lot. The worst part of this habit is that his favourite camera to look at was the ones he had secretly installed in your room so he was able to capture you during moments like when you had just gotten out of the shower, or were getting dressed to go down to the casino.

RANPO

A really sneaky pervert. He gets you to do innocent thinks for his own self-indulgent and nobody seems to take any notice of it whatsoever. It may be because the things he wants to see are so mild, so tame that nobody would ever even think that Ranpo could be up to anything. As well as that, nobody thinks that Ranpo could ever even be capable of thinking such things or going out of his way to make things happen. Not because he's "childish"— like everyone thinks he is— but because it's a lot of work for little to no payoff.

Despite all of that, he doesn't seem to mind. Besides, little reward for even little work... He can surely get behind that, right? He'd get someone like Atsushi to buy him sweets from the local convenience store, and then he'd offer you a few in exchange for doing something for him. And listen, he's super clever about it too. He'd offer you a lollipop in exchange for grabbing something he had dropped underneath one of the other desks.

Watching as you eagerly accepted his minor task to get down on your hands and knees and crawl underneath one of the desks on the other side of the room to grab something- giving him the perfect view of you bent down. You'd rise back up again with the thing that he had dropped tucked tightly between your fingertips- which just happened to be a tube-shaped pencil holder, and place it gently onto Ranpo's desk, exchanging it with a lollipop flavour of your choice. Before you'd even walk away yourself, Ranpo would watch with cruel intent how you'd unwrap the lollipop and stick it between your lips, your tongue swirling around the sweet to soak in all of the flavour. It was so funny how easily you could be swayed with candy- and it was equally as humorous that nobody had caught onto his scheme.

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practically-an-x-man · 1 year ago

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for the couples ask game #s 3, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 18, 24, 25, & 26 :)

thank you so much!!! can't tell you how excited I am to give these questions a spin :)

answers under the cut since there are a lot of them:

3. Have you ever written a soulmate AU? If you haven't, why would/wouldn't you write one?

Hm... sort of. I have an idea for a Witcher fic with a soulmate arc, though I haven't had time to actually write it yet. And there are elements of Heartstrings (my AHS Coven fic) that are similar to a soulmate plotline, though I've been trying to keep that one a little more "up in the air". I have complicated views on soulmate AUs and "fate" in general, so I tend to fiddle with the trope a bit when I do write it.

4. What's the fastest you've reached a romantic couple's first kiss (in words/scenes/chapters)? First "I love you"? Other landmarks?

Heartstrings has definitely been the fastest-evolving of all my fics, since we get an official first date in Chapter 3 and a slipped "I love you" in Chapter 8. However, I do think A Love Once New moves faster in terms of word count, since Heartstrings has longer chapters overall.

6. Have you ever started to write a relationship and had it develop differently than you expected? How so?

I was expecting Heartstrings to be more of a slowburn, and... well, as you can see from the previous question, it really didn't go that way.

7. Have you written any romantic couples that you think would be better off as friends? Or even enemies?

Not really? I have a lot of romantic couples that are also friends, because I love those sorts of relationships, but I think the romance there is also well-fitted.

10. [Couple] has just been struck by a magic spell, and now they're mortal enemies! What happens now?

Okay, you didn't specify so I'm just gonna pick one at random.... Ophelia and Peter. I feel like Peter would be less susceptible to the spell, since Ophelia's fairly morally-gray already, and he'd be the one to try and break the spell. And I feel like he'd succeed, though he'd have to survive Ophelia first - she's dangerous, and he couldn't stand to hurt her.

11. [Couple] has just stumbled into a fairy ring, and they've forgotten they ever knew each other! What happens now?

I'll do this one for Madison and Alex since I feel like that would be the most interesting. Neither of them are particularly emotional people, so it wouldn't be some "I've got a gaping hole in my heart and I don't know why" sort of melodrama, but I can't help but think that they'd start drifting back towards each other over time. Or hell, it's just as likely that the other X-Men would see what happened and try to mend things themselves, since they were so good for each other before.

12. [Couple] has just found an interdimensional portal, and one of them just walked in! Does the other go after them?

I don't think I even need to specify a couple for this one, the answer will always be yes XD

Strategies, now, that would vary. Some would plan, some would just dive in. Some would go immediately and some would waffle about the danger. But they'd always go after their loved one.

18. Pick a few characters you've written for (or, for a fun twist, asker chooses). Tell me about their relationship in three sentences or less.

Hm... I'll go with Quinn and Billy for this one. Their relationship is... really something.

Longtime friendship that was always a little more than a friendship. Power couple, but morality's still on the fence. They tease each other so much they almost don't seem like a couple... but nobody would ever doubt they're a couple.

24. When you write, do you focus more on the romantic relationships or the non-romantic ones?

I try to include a mix of both. In the nature of fanfic, there's a good amount of focus on the romantic couples in the story, but I do make it a point to build other connections between the characters. I actually put a lot of effort into making sure the romantic relationship is not the only relationship in the story - every character has family, friends, other connections outside their romance.

25. How important to you is the inclusion of sex in writing a romantic couple? Do you have any asexual characters?

So, I don't write smut. It makes me uncomfortable, and I just can't figure out how to make it sexy and not cringey. So that's the first thing - any spicy scenes I write are either implied or kinda dodge around the actual smut. Secondly, I feel like a good romantic relationship doesn't require sex at all. If it's well-written, the chemistry should speak for itself. Spicy scenes can be fun, but shouldn't be required for the relationship.

However, there are a few relationships where I don't want to leave it up to audience interpretation. This is generally in relation to my trans/queer couples, where I don't want anyone to willfully misinterpret their relationship. When I write those, I tend to be a little more candid about intimacy in their relationship, just because I don't want it to get written off or dismissed for not being cishet.

In terms of ace characters, my protagonist in Who Waits Forever Anyway?, Katherine, is outwardly asexual, as well as the character Adrianna in Heartstrings, Rae's sister Ginny in A Love Once New, Lita in Bolts and Blasters, and probably a whole host of other characters I'm forgetting.

26. Do you have any characters that are arospec or otherwise wouldn't enter a romantic relationship? How do they interact with the story?

Most of the works I write are romantic in nature, so at the moment I don't have any primary OCs that are on the aro spectrum, but Adrianna (one of Jasper's friends/derby sisters) in Heartstrings is aroace. In turn, she really values the friendships she's made in roller derby and view those as her most important relationships, though she's not above teasing her derby siblings for their romantic relationships. It's fun, right?

#my friends!!!#answered asks #ask game #my writing #my ocs #fanfic #fanfic author

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sweet-dreamins · 4 years ago

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good to me (s+f)

○ pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x afab!reader

○ word count: 1333

○ summary: sakusa is a thigh man

○ content: he eats you out like a man starved, excessive use of the petname baby, lots of spit

○ a/n: i couldn’t stop thinking about how much sakusa loves thighs

sakusa kiyoomi (26) is obsessed with your thighs, in every way imaginable.

his eyes are practically glued to them whenever you wear skirts or shorts. the way the fabric gently swishes around your skin makes him lightheaded. the gently swaying of your skirt only makes the constant voice in his head louder, telling him to reach out and squeeze.

in public, the amount of self-control he displays is quite admirable. you can always tell when he’s fighting himself or daydreaming about your thighs because of the rosy blush peaking over his mask. usually he can settle for a hand on your thigh when you sit next to him.

in private, it’s a totally different story. he simply cannot get enough. when you’re at home, you can typically find him lying down between your legs, wearing your thighs as earmuffs. he loves to fall asleep there, feeling your warm softness gently squishing his face.

when he manages to stay awake, he ends up teasing you, accidental or not, you can never tell. he places the softest of kisses all over your skin, sucking every so often. when he reaches your stretch marks, he traces over them with his tongue, leaving gleaming lightning bolts in his wake, sending sparks throughout the rest of your body.

you’re certain that’s his favorite way to relax, but for you it has the opposite effect. luckily, he doesn’t need that much convincing to move a little higher, considering that’s his second favorite way to relax.

locks of black curls fall gently, brushing against your tummy here and there as kiyoomi mouths at your skin. what had started as a leisurely cuddle session, with sakusa casually resting on your thighs as you scrolled on your phone had evolved into this.

he has his arms wrapped around your thighs, your legs draped over his shoulders. who knows how long he’s been kissing, biting, and licking away at your inner thighs, you certainly don’t. your skin is gleaming with his spit, from where he’s traced over your stretch marks over and over again. the warmth of his breath hasn’t left you once because of how closely he’s holding you against him.

you’re trying to be good-no, you are being good, you’re being so good for him! you’ve been keeping your squirming to a minimum, so as not to distract him. you don’t want to interrupt his relaxation, you know that he’s just trying to unwind, he’s not trying to rile you up...right? still, even though you don’t think he’s trying to rile you up, you’re fucking soaked. the ‘accidental’ brushing of his chin and jaw against your pussy certainly hasn’t been helping, not providing nearly enough stimulation.

he glances up at you through his curls, but you don’t see. you’re too busy staring at the ceiling, chewing away at your lip, with your hands curled into fists. at first, he genuinely just wanted to play with your thighs, but five minutes in he had a new goal. he wanted to see how long you could last. he’s surprised you haven’t said anything, only letting out the tiniest of whimpers every so often.

after looking at your furrowed brow and bitten pout, he sees how hard you’ve been trying to be his good little baby. warmth blooms in his chest because of how precious you are...but part of him still wants to hear you beg at least a little bit. he leans his cheek against your thigh,

“baby, what’s wrong?”

you clear your throat and choke out, “hmm? nothing, nothing’s wrong, everything is fine!”

“oh, okay…..you sure?”

“yup! everything is fine!”

your voice is strained and so is the fake smile on your face. he should take pity on you, he really should. he goes back to nibbling at your thighs, only this time his ulterior motive is very apparent. he inches closer and closer to your panties, which are three shades darker since this ‘cuddle’ session started. you’re about to scream in frustration, only realizing now that, he is definitely doing this on purpose. before you can do anything, he lets go of your thighs and pulls away completely. a whine slips out from the back of your throat before you can stop it.

he hovers above you, with a soft smile, his sweet brown eyes staring into yours,

“you’re really good to me, so, so, good to me, baby.”

he gently kisses your cheek, then your neck, making his way back down your body. gently pressing kisses all over your chest and tummy, until he’s back where he started. his voice drops as he murmurs,

“you’re so good to me, even when i’m teasing you.”

you open your mouth to scold him for knowingly teasing you, but all that comes out is a pitiful moan when he flattens his tongue against your panties and drags it up the center.

“let me be good to you.”

he hooks his fingers around the waistband and slowly pulls your panties down, your wetness sticking to your lips and the fabric. he smiles even wider when he sees how truly soaked you are, your cunt gleaming in your arousal. he cooes,

“oh my poor, poor, baby, i made you wait too long for me, hm?”

you nod quietly, looking at him with wide eyes and your bottom lip poking out. he tightens his grip on your thighs, fingers digging into the flesh.

“don’t worry, you don’t have to wait a second longer, pretty baby.”

he doesn’t waste any time teasing your hole, instead immediately sucking on your clit. instantly your hips jump and your back is arching off the bed from the much-needed relief. he puts his forearm across your lower tummy to keep you pinned down, not letting you get away from his mouth. he swirls his tongue around your clit as he eases two fingers inside of you.

whines fall freely from your mouth, pleas of don’t stop, please don’t stop, and crying out to him over how good he’s making you feel. you were already dripping before he had touched your pussy, but now you’re gushing all over his mouth. he keeps on licking and sucking and kissing your cunt, you can hear how messy he’s making you. the squelching of his fingers thrusting into you, and the wet smacking of his lips against you, and his rumbling groans, fill the room.

your face is burning but you can’t bring yourself to care, letting yourself get lost in the building pleasure. you run your hands through his raven curls, gently pulling and trying to bring him even closer. your mouth has been perpetually open since he started, never-ending moans coming from you, and you’re sure there’s some drool escaping your lips. your breathing starts getting faster and faster, chest rising and falling rapidly,

“ah! ah! i-i’m close, please don’t stop kiyoomi!”

you didn’t think it was possible but he quickens his pace, thrusting and curling his fingers even faster, sucking and licking even sloppier than before. your skin feeling hotter and hotter, as though fire is coursing through your veins, a light layer of sweat coating your body, as you get closer. your climax finally washes over you, a final cry escapes you, cottony clouds filling your brain as you melt into the bed. everything is light and warm and hazy and you can faintly tell that kiyoomi has slowed down.

he sits back on his haunches, breathing almost as heavy as you are. you look up at kiyoomi through half-lidded eyes, already drowsy with your orgasm. gosh, he’s so pretty. his broad chest, heaving up and down as he practically towers over you. he looks down at you with a hungry gaze, the entire bottom half of his face shining in a combination of his spit and your slick. you struggle to mumble out,

“you’re all messy.”

he chuckles at your astute observation, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“it’s only going to get messier, baby”

#🍓.blurbs #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi smut #sakusa x reader #sakusa smut #kiyoomi x reader #kiyoomi smut

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katina-marnela · 3 years ago

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So I did this at the occasion of @prof-peach proposing us to create OCs for her world. I love creating new characters and coming up with stories for them and since I'm also a big fan of her world and her island I grabbed firmly this occasion ^^ Click on "Show more" if you want to hear all of their lore~

Marie is a retired Pokemon Trainer originating from Kanto. She developped a deep fascination about Mega-Evolution during her journey and is known to have accumulated a lot of experience in the practice and subtilities of Mega-Evolution throughout her battles. When she decided that she won't spend her life as a Trainer, she left the battlefield to study the different powers of stones. She spent a few years travelling a lot, driven by her thirst of adventure that made her become a Trainer in the first place. She studied all kinds of stones found on the different regions and the phenomenons they create. Let it be Z-Crystals, Evolution stones, Mega-Stones, Wishing Stars, she's seen and learned about all of them. Once her studies were done, she obtained a liscence authorizing her to open a Stone shop. That's when she decided to finally settle down somewhere, and she chose to open her shop at Johto. She now sells Evolution Stones of all kind and even sometimes Mega-Stones and Key Stones. It can happen that miners who digs up Mega-Stones or Key Stones send them to her, she is paid to refine them and gives them their round most functional form before either sending them to labs or entrusting them to trainers. Though she is very picky and will make sure the said trainers have the experience and the bond necessary with their Pokemon partner for a safe and healthy Mega-Evolution. But she continues her studies in her free time, deeply fascinated by their power. She doesn't work at the Dotaku Island but actually visits there a lot. The place always sparks her thirst for Adventure back and she loves the company. She is often caught talking with Prof.Grey about recent discoveries, showing strange stones that were sent to her or discussing the new types of Mega-Evolutions discovered. She participates to the Annual Battle Contest sometimes to show off a little (you can't blame a former Trainer) and overall enjoys the company and atmosphere of the island. Her Team is composed mostly of her former Training partners.

Markus the Scizor:

Markus is an old battlescarred grandpa Pokemon. He was the second Pokemon Marie ever owned. A grouch at time, he simply hides his tender heart under his thick Silver type armor. He has a very soft spot for baby Pokemons and is the one with the most battle experience. As the only Pokemon of Marie's team who Mega-Evolves, he's trained in that domain a lot. He can hold his Mega form for very extended periods of time and even ended up picking up some of the traits of his Mega form permanently. He is a relentless fighter, often at the cost of a few scars, and is the eldest of the team. Last pick when it comes to the Annual Battle Contest, because he tends to get a little too serious for young trainers who participates, and first pick when it comes to venture dangerous areas with potentially agressive Pokemons.

Phylly the Servine:

Phylly has been Marie's first ever Pokemon. He's accompanied her her entire journey and has been with her since her youngest age. Phylly was originally a silly child nickname Marie used to give him, but it grew on both of them and ended up being his forever name. He's the strongest of the team and knows it. Smug little man, he's always refused to reach the final stage of his evolution and even refused to train at all until Marie found him and Everstone. Better not try and touch it because he's very attached to it and could flip you like a table for even thinking about it. Marie can't quite figure out if it's because he misses his Snivy form or because he's very attached to this one. His leaves ended up growing bigger than average size, allowing him to charge sun-based attacks faster making him a real powerhouse. He's also a real bedbug and loves being taken care of.

Sandra the Garchomp:

Sandra is the lady of the team. She is calm and values her personal space, as well as her appearance, get her scales dirty, and she will throw a real Dragon tantrum at you. Due to digestive problems, she follows a strict diet and can only eats certain types of food. She is Marie's off-road transport, let it be air or water, and loves taking long flights in the desert. She's tried to Mega-Evolve before, but it brought her a lot of discomfort so they never did it again. She isn't quick to trust and tends to remember to overconfident people trying to pet her that she is a big mean dragon (no she's not). Marie kept one of her teeth as a pendant.

Alsha the Tyrantrum:

Alsha is the oddball and the last addition to Marie's team. He was given to her as an egg by a man who used to own a breeding program for fossil Pokemons. He was a real enigma when he hatched, a peculiar color, a smooth skin instead of the normal edged one, almost no fur, extra fingers and weird growths all over his body. After getting examined by a Pokemon Center and then a Professor, it turns out this baby was perfectly healthy and simply had Rampardos genes. Marie was athorized to keep him and he grew into a healthy, slightly smaller than average, Tyrantrum. He's a happy boy with a lot of space to let his personality shine (by shine I mean destroying stuff). He doesn't actually use the growth of his head as his body is not suited to spint head first like Rampardos does, but his jaws will show you that he doesn't need it. He's the tank of the team and usually the first pick for friendly battles like the Annual Battle Contest. He loves everyone and often everyone loves him. Aaaaaand do not fear I'm finished! I hope you enjoyed reading about them, because I sure enjoyed writing about them!

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lisinfleur · 4 years ago

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The Perfect Date

The request:

It was more than time for you to move on over that childish passion.

You had been cultivating that hidden love for so long that you couldn't even remember when it was the first time you'd looked at Ivar and thought he was the owner of your heart.

But it was past the time to be over with that and move on with your life.

You were his friend.

Period!

You weren't his kind of girl. You mean... Look at Freydis! She was completely different from you, right? And Margrethe before her...

It is ok that Margrethe got the record of banging four of the five Lothbrok brothers, but Ivar was on her list, and you weren't like her.

At least, you never felt pretty like the two of them.

At least...

At least, Ivar never looked at you with those flickering eyes he had for them here or there in the story of your lives.

So, when Hvitserk told you he'd settled a date for you with someone he was sure was perfect to be with you, you've decided to give him a chance. He also knew you pretty well, and if he was saying someone could conquer your heart, then probably this person could have a chance to really do it.

So, at the date he settled, you got yourself prepared. Your best dress, soft makeup. Gods, you even made your hair in a saloon to feel prettier for that night!

However, the last person you thought you would find in that restaurant was Ivar: sitting at one of the tables, he seemed to be as prepared as you were but waiting for someone who dared to get late for whatever they had settled together.

Oh, great.

Your past and your feelings would be right there while you would be trying to surpass them.

Fuck!

At first, you tried to dodge his presence, sitting on a table that was a little away from his.

But, as the minutes passed, your heart shrunk by seeing he was becoming angrier as the person he was waiting for didn't show up. And your "perfect date" was also getting late...

Did Hvitserk lose his good finger? He knew how much you hated people who weren't punctual!

When you noticed, your date was about ten minutes late! And Ivar's angry grunt reached your ears as your friend seemed to be frustratedly threatening to get out of the restaurant.

You could almost read Ivar's thoughts.

Another failure.

OF COURSE, she wouldn't come! Nobody wants to date the crippled.

And that whole ableist bullshit you knew he would be thinking throughout days, maybe months after that failed date.

Fuck the perfect guy! You got up and walked towards Ivar's table, pretending you had just arrived and taking a seat right beside him - just to avoid taking the place his date would be taking in front of him if she was ever to come anyway.

"Ivar! What a coincidence!" you tried to start as if you didn't see each other there.

But Ivar's surprised blues told you your dodging skills were better than you thought: he didn't really have seen you before.

Or the thing with the dress and makeup had really gone right somehow...

"Whoa... You're pretty, Y/N".

Your cheeks burned hot! Did he have any idea of what was that simple sentence doing to you?

"T... thanks," you answered. "You look great too. Occupied?"

His eyes looked at the empty chair in front of his table, and he sighed.

"I guess I'm not. Want some fries?"

Your favorites!

Ivar knew everything about you. And you, about him.

"And ribs!"

His favorites... Ivar couldn't avoid smiling.

One hour of conversation and the two of you had completely forgotten the late dates that never came.

Two hours and Ivar was betting you would be drunk with half of a quarter he was able to drink!

When the two of you took notice, five hours had passed from the time settled for your dates, and no one had come through those doors searching for you guys.

Nevertheless, that was the best night the two of you shared together. You had gotten rid of your heels under the table, he had left the fancy coat on the back of his chair, and the two of you were now side by side on the table, playing with each other at the cellphones with an interesting application he had found to play hnefatafl against you online.

"That's not fair! You always win!" you complained after losing the tenth match for a proud Ivar smiling beside you.

But his smile had a different tone. A gentle tone.

"Thank you," he mumbled, confusing you.

"For what? For repeatedly losing to you in this complicated game?" you tried.

"For making this shit of a night something good for me to remember," he answered, impressing a serious tone to the conversation you'd started.

"Ivar," you mumbled.

"No, Y/N. This would've been a disaster if you weren't here to make this night perfect!" he completed, looking at you. "I'll never listen to Hvitserk ever again, but I cannot say I regret coming to this date he settled for me. You were here. And it was amazing to be with you tonight."

"Wait..." you said, looking at him. "Hvitserk settled a date for you here?"

"Today, at..." he started.

"...eight." you finished, and your eyes became large. "Oh, my gods..."

"Y/N, what happened?" Ivar asked.

For the first time since you knew him, not being the one able to figure out the whole picture.

"Your date didn't come, did she?" you asked.

"No. The 'girl that would be perfect to me' doesn't exist, and I got Hvitserk's stupid pun."

Oh, no. He got it wrong...

"That's not the actual pun, Ivar," you mumbled, feeling your cheeks burning hot once again.

"What do you mean?" Ivar asked, already annoyed things were happening faster than his mind could understand.

"My date didn't come either," you said, looking at him. "I had a date today, here, at eight... Hvitserk said it would be the perfect guy to conquer my heart..."

"The motherfucker decided to make the same stupid prank with the two of us!"

Oh, how charming... There was a detail you always thought was cute about your brilliant best friend: he would always become dumb when he was too angry to think properly.

"Indeed, he pranked us, Ivar. But..."

Shit!

Why was it always so hard to tell him the truth?

"I'll punch his face for hurting you like this!" Ivar said, disposed to defend you with all his strength, but you held his hand, looking at him in the eyes.

"It is you, Ivar," you said, breaking his focus and causing him to look at you, confused.

It took him a second to figure out what you were talking about. And then another ten seconds for his face to frown in complete disbelief.

"Excuse me, what?" he asked, looking at you. "Are you telling me Hvitserk settled us on a date in the same place and at the same time trying us to..." he stopped.

His brain was finally making the right math this time.

"He was trying for us to date each other," you mumbled.

Already feeling, by his reaction, that he would somehow burst into laughs and say his brother was completely insane.

That you could never be perfect in any way to conquer his heart.

However, his head leaned, and he looked at you with a surprised expression.

"Sometimes I think there is a genius inside my brother's mind that he drowns every day with the amount of different alcoholic shit he drinks," he said.

Causing you to burst into laughing the way you would always laugh at his jokes.

Only you were able to understand his jokes, no matter how deep they were. And you would always think they were funny.

You would always be there for him, by his side, making his worst days better and his better days the best.

How come he'd never noticed this?

You were still laughing when Ivar's fingers touched your chin, catching your eyes.

"Hvitserk was right... You are the perfect woman to conquer my heart."

You froze.

And it was your time to frown and look at him, taken aback.

"Excuse me? What?" you mumbled, causing him to smile.

"Unexpected, but predictable," he mumbled, looking at you with a larger smile. "You know me better than anyone else. You like the same things I do. And you make me happy... You're prettier than any other woman I know... And by the way you're shocked by these conclusions now, I can almost say I finally discovered what's the only secret you've always kept from me..."

Fuck!

Fuck fuck fuck a thousand times!

You'd always told him that: there was only one thing about you he would never discover. And it was that he was the love you had hidden in your heart as deep as you could to keep your secret safe.

"And... What would be this secret, if you're so smart, Mr. Smartass?" you said.

Trying to keep your pose until the moment he approached, sealing his lips on yours all of a sudden, surprising you with the most delicious stolen kiss you had ever tasted in your life.

You melted in his hands, sighing against his mouth.

As his hands landed on your waist, yours embraced his neck and it was almost as if the two of you had been made to embrace each other like that.

The kiss didn't last too long, but it was enough to feel like an era for you. And Ivar smiled against your lips, fully cocky about his next words.

"I'm the one who has your heart," he said, revealing the only secret of yours he'd never laid hands on. "It's mine... You're mine. How could it be different?”

His fingers caressed your face and you noticed he was genuinely happy with that discovery

"I didn't want to lose our friendship," You mumbled, justifying your silence for so long beside him.

"We didn't lose it," he said, "It just evolved to a better level," he completed.

"And it was about time!" Hvitserk's voice sounded from the restaurant's door.

"You motherfucker!" You grunted at him.

"You little asshole!" Ivar growled.

And Hvitserk burst into laughter: his plan was a success and he smiled, throwing the car keys to Ivar who caught them.

"Mother told me to take you home, but I don't want to bother the love doves..." he joked just to receive a pair of fries from you and a cube of ice from Ivar's cup against his head. "Fuck, stop it!" he laughed. "You should be thanking me!"

"We're throwing food on you! Count it as gratitude!" Ivar joked back causing you to laugh out loud.

Hvitserk crossed his arms, smiling at the two of you.

"'Take care of each other," he said.

You would remember to prepare his favorite Damascus pie as a reward for being the perfect friend.

You couldn't be happier with the date he chose for you.

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hanoella · 3 years ago

Text

Affettuoso- With Feeling (Part 8)

Pairing: Bucky x Pianist!Reader

Set after the events of TFATWS: In an effort to start over and make a home in Louisiana, Bucky meets a friend of Sam’s who ends up being his landlord. With only a driveway to separate them, he finds that he’s not the only one looking for a fresh start.

Series tags/warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Bucky x Reader, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Canon Level Violence, PTSD, PG-17 Romantic Content (oooooh), talk of sex

Part 8 Word Count: Just under 8k

A/N: It's starting to heat uppppppp👀. I always sort and curate the music so that you can listen to the music as you read the story and match the tone, starting from where I insert the song. Unfortunately, tumblr is being idiotic, and now I can't post the songs to play in-app for some reason. Sorry guys😭 If you haven't given it a try, I highly recommend!

Once again, thank you for all your support! Every heart and comment motivates me and is just so wonderful.

Taglist!: @vicmc624 @officiallykuute @undiadeestos @tailsoflightning @buckys2thicc @mischief-siriusly-managed

Winter

Bucky looked in the mirror nervously, mussing his hair up. It was a bit longer than when he had first come to Louisiana, and he had been overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices when it came to men’s hair products. He thought it looked okay, using the man on the front of the packaging as reference. It was a good thing you two were taking your car. He wasn’t sure if his work would’ve survived the motorcycle helmet. Glancing over the rest of his ensemble, he gave himself a nod of assurance. It was concert weekend, and also the day you were going on your first date. After contemplating on when to go, you had suggested a late night dinner after that weeks second concert and Bucky had thought it was a fine idea at the time. Though, now, he realized that he would have to sit through the concert first.

He picked up the bouquet of flowers he had gotten with the hair product the other day and headed to the door. Before leaving, he bent down to pet a sleepy Alpine, who was currently dozing peacefully in the last rays of the sun for the day.

“Wish me luck.” He said to the cat, who purred in response.

He left and crossed the driveway to your house. Knocking on your screen door, he waited expectantly.

“Come in!” He heard you call from inside.

He opened the screen door and crossed the threshold. He’d done it plenty of times before, but this time felt different. Seeing that the living room and kitchen were empty, he headed down the hall to your bedroom, where the light was filtering out of. Cautiously opening the door, he saw you sitting at the vanity, dressed in your typical rehearsal outfit of a blouse and slacks, and putting on the final touches to your makeup. You blinked to adjust to the mascara and turned towards him, a smile spreading across your cheeks.

“Hey!” You stood up to hug him and then take him in. “You look great, Buck.”

“Thanks, you too.” He replied, still coming across rather stiff from the nervousness. You looked up at him, slightly amused but keeping it to yourself. After a moment of gazing at your features that were complemented by the makeup you had just put on, Bucky cleared his throat and gifted you the bouquet.

“Oh, these are beautiful. Thank you so much.” You said as you admired the large white peonies, accented by bundles of pink hydrangeas and various types of eucalyptus. A green satin bow held the stems together as you felt the velvety petals between your fingertips. You grabbed his hand afterwards and squeezed it as you held the bouquet to your chest. “Thank you,” you repeated as you looked up at him. Bucky felt slightly more at ease, giving you a small but genuine smile.

“Of course.”

You set the bundle down gently before going over to your bed and unzipping the garment bag and holding the dress out for him to see.

“Is this too much to wear for the concert and then dinner? I figured I’d dress a little simpler so I don’t stand out too much at the restaurant.”

Bucky stepped closer and touched the luxurious navy blue fabric. The dress was cut so that it had a slight halter neckline, exposing minimal shoulder. It wasn’t until he saw the bottom end of the dress that he caught a glimpse of what you normally liked to wear. Flowers and greenery adorned the bottom half of the skirt, detailed in such a way that it looked like they had been painted right on the dress. The soft pastel brushstrokes formed rounded petals and long wispy leaves.

“It’ll look great on you.” He said with affection in his tone. “But you don’t have to change anything for me. All the gowns that you wore before looked great too, but what really makes them is the fact that you’re wearing them.”

It was your turn to blush, turning slightly to try and hide the pink on your face. You thanked him softly before excusing yourself to the kitchen to get a vase for the flowers. As you were filling the vase with water, you held your hand to your cheek in an effort to cool down your face. Coming back to your room, you put the flowers in water and turned to Bucky, who had sat himself down on the edge of the bed.

“Ready to go?”

---

Bucky sat on the green velvet couch in your dressing room, reading something on his phone as he listened to the rustling behind the room divider behind him.

“How do I look?” You asked, coming out from behind the divider and into the room. You were dressed in the gown from earlier, now with black flats and earrings that mimicked flower petals falling in the wind. You had decided on a more romantic look for your hair, settling on large loose waves, one side pinned back with a dainty silver bar clip.

He couldn’t help but smile.

“Beautiful.”

Who knew one word could give you such a fluttering in your stomach.

“Thank you.”

You sat next to him, folding one leg underneath of you and leaning against the couch, facing him.

“Are you going to be okay up in that box all by your lonesome?” you teased, reaching across and grabbing the tips of his fingers with yours.

“I hope so. I’ve got a date tonight.” He replied playfully. He always felt so warm, so comforting. You looked at him with affection before your eyes flitted to the clock behind him.

“I should probably get to the stage.” You sighed while you said it, reluctantly starting to get up and pull your hand away. Before you could completely escape his grasp, he squeezed your hand slightly.

“You’ll do great. See you after?” His look was slightly reminiscent of a puppy. You smiled wistfully and squeezed his hand back.

“See you after.”

You separated in the hall, you going one way to the stage and him going the other way to the box. Before he stepped inside, he realized he didn’t have a program. He made his way to the front and found an usher with a stack of programs.

“Can I have one of those?” He asked, coming off slightly more gruffly than he meant to.

“Sure, sir.” The usher handed him one and Bucky thanked him before turning. Halfway down the hall, he picked up the whispering of another usher who had come up to the one that had the programs.

“Is that Ms. Novikov’s boyfriend?”

“No way, is that who that was?”

“He always sits in her own personal box. It has to be.”

Boyfriend. Such a funny word. Bucky hadn’t been anyone’s boyfriend in decades. It almost felt silly to be dating somebody. It was like someone blowing all of their money on something they couldn’t afford. It felt reckless to invest so much feeling and time and emotion when he had so little of those things on his own. Yet, what little he had, he gladly spent on you.

“He is so hot. I would just let him-“

Bucky’s eyes widened as he heard several terms he didn’t understand. Clearing his throat, he walked a little faster back to the box.

---

You had laughed so hard that you were crying as Bucky tried to repeat some of the stuff he had overheard. Deciding to check on him during intermission, you had popped up to the box for a minute. After complimenting you on your playing, having performed what Bucky thought to be amazingly, as you usually did, he couldn’t stop the face he had made as his mind thought back to the usher. Needing to sit down, you had sat in one of the seats in the box, doubled over in a combination of laughing and crying.

“It’s not that funny!” Bucky whisper-yelled at you, as you gasped for breath, face in hands. He turned around to see that the next several boxes were looking over to see what the commotion was. One particular look on an older woman’s shocked face made him turn around quickly and try not to laugh.

“It’s not funny!” He said again, though now he was obviously trying to hold back his own laugh, which just made you laugh even harder.

Starting to calm down, you leaned back onto the seat, still clutching your stomach. Letting out some deep breaths, a burst of giggles fell out of your mouth, evolving into full on laughter again.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You said, regaining some semblance and wiping your eyes carefully as to not ruin any makeup. “That is just hilarious. I love it.” You concluded as you sighed and closed your eyes.

“You are just… something else.” Bucky replied, a huge smile overcoming his face despite the fact that he was shaking his head. The lights flickered overhead to signal the end of the intermission. You got up, straightening out the skirt of your dress and giggling.

“You can meet me at the dressing room after.” You said, waving your fingers at him. He had the same smile on his face as he watched you sweep aside the curtains and disappear. As embarrassing as it was, Bucky was thankful that it had broken the ice, no longer leaving him feeling awkward, nervous in your presence. As he was turning back to face the front, Bucky made eye contact with the same old lady in the box next door. Quickly, he cleared his throat and settled in his seat, adjusting so that he was sitting up straighter.

Several minutes went by before the conductor came back out, followed by you. He gave his usual introduction of the piece, explaining the history and the background behind the melody they were about to hear. This one was another piano feature- this time by Chopin.

The opening note was long and forceful, followed by a back and forth of a set of notes on your left hand that quickly sped up into an impressive speed. Your right hand entered the melody, quickly flitting back and forth to the end of the keys. The quickening of the keys sounded desperate, like a hare running frantically to safety from the jaws of a predator.

Both of your hands ran down from the higher keys to the low ones, somehow managing to hit very precisely on each intended note on the way down. Once in the lower octaves, the melody slowed. Your hand movements were graceful, body language and tone changing to one of peace. You spent some time exploring the gentle melody, conveying a feeling similar to the quiet after the storm. Just as Bucky expected the end of the melody, what would’ve been a period in the phrase of the major key, turned into a comma. The minor key from before took control of the music once more, somehow more desperate than before. The pace of your breathing sped up as you put more force behind the fleeting notes. The minor key evolved into a more complex intertwining of notes before unraveling into a major key once again, saying its last words and taking its last breath before dissipating into the auditorium.

Applause burst forth from the crowd, conveying more than Bucky could ever put into words about how incredible your performance was. How incredible you were. Still catching your breath, you stood at the conductor’s prompting, stealing a glance at Bucky, who was standing as he clapped, before bowing in acceptance of the praise.

---

After the concert, he drove you to New Orleans. At the restaurant, you were sat at a table on the edge of the dining room behind a low privacy partition. It was dimly lit, the small candle in the middle of the table creating a very intimate atmosphere. You sat across from each other at the two-person table, browsing the menu. Yours was laid flat on the table as you leaned over it, resting your chin on your clasped hands. Bucky’s was held up, serving as a way for him to sneak glances at you. The candlelight gave your hair an ever-moving sheen. It was nothing compared to how it lit the color of your eyes as you met his eye and smiled.

The romantic piano music played softly in the background as he set the menu down and let a gentle smile overtake his features. Your eyelids slowly lowered. You loved the little crow’s feet that appear by his eyes when he genuinely smiled.

“How’d I do on the first date setting?” You asked. The cozy restaurant had been your pick.

“You hit it out of the park. It’s very nice.” Bucky replied, leaning in a little closer so that he could cross his arms slightly onto the table.

“Isn’t it? There’s a few of them across the country. I used to at the one in New York while I went to Julliard. Can you guess what I did?” You chuckled as you pointed your head in the direction of the live piano music coming from the stage.

“Hmm… Dishwasher? No wait, valet?”

Bucky lives for the smile that comes across your face when you try not to laugh at his antics.

“Absolutely. Always wanted to be a valet. It’s my dream job.” You joked back with a twinkle in your eye. The waiter came up to the table, causing you both to lean slightly back. After introducing themselves and setting two glasses of water down, they asked for your drink order. Bucky nodded for you to go first, ever the gentleman. You turned your head towards the waiter, your gaze lingering on Bucky before giving full attention towards them as you spoke.

“What are some of the best whiskeys you have to recommend?”

Bucky could’ve spit out his water. This place could not be cheap. His suspicions were confirmed as the waiter started listing off various whiskeys that were at least a decade old. About three whiskeys into the list, you saw Bucky tilt his head out of the corner of your eye. Glancing at him, you raised your eyebrows as if to ask if he was interested. He raised his eyebrows and gave a small nod.

“We’ll have that one please.” You said, stopping the waiter when he finished the description. You had selected the sixteen year old single malt with notes of plums, apricots, white truffles, honey, dark chocolate, and hazelnuts. As soon as the waiter turned around, Bucky leaned in and gave you a look of incredulousness.

“Doll, I am all for the finer things in life but that whiskey has got to be a pretty penny.”

You leaned in as well, with a dreamy look on your face.

“Well, if it gets you to call me ‘doll’ then I’ll buy the whole bottle.”

---

Bucky actually did end up liking it so much that you ordered a bottle to take home. He had tried to stop you from paying for it, but you insisted, saying this whole date was on you.

“Just pay for the next one. I picked the fancy place, so I should pay! Besides, you do so much for me all of the time.”

Eventually, he caved in and let you, the assurance of a second date placating him. Dinner had been equally as delicious and sprinkled with easy conversation. Dessert was set on the table with two spoons to share. The entire night was going wonderfully. At this point, with a few bites of dessert left, both of you were lounging while listening to the gentle music as he held your hand across the table.

A group was getting up from the table across the divider when one of them glanced over and recognized you.

“Irina Novikov!”

Your hand left Bucky’s instinctually as you looked in the direction of the voice. Easing when you realized it was a concert goer, you smiled as the group came over to your table.

“We just came from your performance, you did an excellent job. We’ve been coming all season and it’s wonderful to be able to talk to you in person.” A middle aged man said as the rest of his group nodded enthusiastically.

“The pleasure’s all mine. I’m so happy that you enjoy the music that we perform.” You said, shaking his hand.

“Would you, perhaps, be willing to sign our programs?”

“Absolutely.” You said, as you took the pen. You paused slightly before writing the signature. Bucky could tell that you hadn’t thought about it before- how to sign the new name. You signed everyone’s program, making sure to ask for their name and including a short thank you for their support.

“I look forward to seeing you in the audience the next time you’re able to visit.” You said as you handed back the last program and pen. They graciously thanked you and walked away, leaving you to look at Bucky, who was admiring you.

“What?” You asked, cheeks flushing.

“Nothing. You’re just so good to them. Does that happen often?”

“I try to be. I’m sure if I had more people always coming up to me I’d be less patient. To answer your question, it happens occasionally. It happened a lot in New York when I played with the symphony up there. But that was a long time ago.” You looked down wistfully, thinking of the past. Then, you looked up and grabbed his hand.

“But I’m pretty happy where I am now. Don’t doubt that.”

Bucky felt a fluttering in his chest.

After settling the bill and giving Bucky the bottle of whiskey, you put your coat on and held Bucky’s hand as you walked to out of the restaurant. On the way home, he drove as you hummed along to the radio, watching the road signs and the streetlights pass. Eventually the highway turned into main streets and main streets turned into side streets. Maybe if he drove slower, the night didn’t have to end.

Parking in the driveway, Bucky signaled for you to wait before he jogged around the front of the car, opening your door and holding out a hand.

“Oh, what a gentleman.” You laughed as you took his outstretched hand and stepped out of the car. Taking his arm, you let him walk you to your front door. You turned the key and opened the door, turning on the lights before facing him again.

“Well. This was wonderful. I had such a good time.” You said, hugging him around the neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

“Me too.”

You pulled back, letting your hands run down his arms and holding his hands in yours.

“I think it’s safe to say that there will be a second date.” You stated teasingly, squeezing his hands.

“I would say you’re right.” He said, boyish charm coming through. You wondered if this is what he was like back before the war. Smiling, you looked into his eyes.

“Thank you for taking me out. You’re so lovely to be with, and it feels unreal to be with you. I think I’ve wanted this for a long time.” Affection was laced throughout your tone.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something and nothing came out. He squeezed your hands once, as if to make sure you were real, and shook his head.

“You took the words right out of my mouth. That’s exactly how I feel about you.”

There was a slight pause before Bucky closed the gap between you. Your bottom lip was between his and you closed your eyes as your hands held his face to yours. You felt your fingertips scrape across his stubble as he held you in his arms, hands supporting your back as he deepened the kiss. After a few moments, you pulled back, a flush over your face and the cold air exposing your breathlessness. He let out a quiet breathy laugh and you did the same.

“You have… no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He said as he softly put his forehead to yours.

“You took the words right out of my mouth.” You repeated his phrase with amusement. Reluctantly, you took your arms from around his neck and trailed them down to his hands, grabbing both. You took a moment to appreciate how perfectly his hands felt in yours, vibranium and all.

“Goodnight, Buck.”

He squeezed your hands lightly before slowly letting go of your hands.

“Goodnight.”

Putting his hands in his pockets, he waited for you to exit the house, reciprocating your wave as you softly shut the door. Letting out a deep breath, he walked leisurely across the driveway and up to his apartment. He loosened his tie with one hand as he greeted Alpine with the other. She followed at his heels as he got ready for bed, hopping up onto his chest when he finally laid down. Curling up into a ball, she purred as he scratched her neck. Alpine fell asleep almost immediately, but Bucky lay awake, the image of you laughing at something he said across the candlelit table occupying the forefront of his thoughts.

---

The second date had to be rescheduled due to business that Sam and Bucky had to take care of, once again, in D.C. Reluctantly, he had texted you to reschedule.

Have to go to DC tonight with Sam… Go out when we come back?

Bucky watched the bubble type.

If you don’t want to go out again, just say so

He felt like vomiting.

KIDDING! Of course we can.

Taking a deep breath, he typed out a reply.

Not funny. Almost gave me a heart attack. You gonna be okay for a few days?

I’ll be fine, just take care of yourself and be safe, please.

Will do, doll.

A little heart emoji you sent back made Bucky smile before he tucked his phone away and boarded the plane.

---

After a few days of cut-and-dry investigation, they were done by Saturday night. Since they were flying commercially, they had one more evening to kill before the next flight. Bucky was standing idly outside of the crowded comic book store that Sam was currently in. AJ had called Uncle Sam, asking if he could check for a specific volume of a comic that he liked. Happy to oblige, Bucky had told Sam that they could make the stop. Though, once seeing how crowded it was, Bucky opted to stay outside. Feeling a buzz in his pocket, he took out his phone to see a text from you pop up on his home screen. You had sent him a picture of Alpine curled up on the bed next to the dress you were going to perform in.

Alpine has approved my dress selection this evening!

Smiling at his screen as he sauntered down the sidewalk, he typed out his reply.

I agree with Alpine. Very nice selection.

He sent the text and paused, standing in place for a moment before sending a short addendum.

Sorry that I can’t be there.

It’s okay, there’s plenty others :)

Bucky looked up and saw that he had wandered a few stores down from the comic book shop. Craning his head, he didn’t see Sam yet. Turning back to the store in front of him, he glanced at the window display. A set of earrings on the edge of the display caught his eye. The soft pearls and winding gold took him back to another time. It was very reminiscent of the fancy jewelry that adorned the movie stars during his youth.

Glancing back down to the comic store, he had yet to see Sam out front. He took the opportunity to slip into the jewelers. There was a well-dressed couple looking at specific pieces of jewelry but otherwise, the store was empty. An unoccupied salesman approached Bucky warily.

“Can I help you sir?”

“Yes, um… I was interested in getting something from the window display.” Bucky said in a low tone as he gestured to the front. He was overly aware of how ‘rough around the edges’ he looked.

“Which one?” The salesman asked as Bucky followed him to the front. After the earrings were pointed out, the salesman took them out of the case. He gave a little background as he handed Bucky the set.

“This is from our vintage-inspired collection. Modeled after jewelry from the post-art-deco era in the 1930’s, these earrings are the perfect modern gift with a vintage twist.” They dangled on the velvet earring holder as Bucky took a closer look. They were perfect.

“How much?” Bucky asked.

“They’re a bit expensive sir- four hundred dollars.” The salesman said uneasily.

“I’ll take them.”

He paid for the gift and stepped out onto the street, stuffing the earring box into his pocket. No sign of Sam yet. Making his way back up the street, he checked his phone to see that you had texted him a link. He sat on the bench and tapped on the link, which took him to a video that you had uploaded of the opening piece from the night before. He smiled as he saw that you had recorded it from his usual spot in Box One. You walked across the stage on screen, doing your usual bow and taking a seat at the bench. He put the speaker of the phone up to his ear and waited for the playing to start.

“What’re you listening to?”

Bucky almost dropped his phone as Sam cackled.

“Are you finally done?” Bucky said, annoyance seeping out his tone.

“Yeah, c’mon.” Sam said, smirk still on his face.

That night in the hotel room, as Bucky was settling into bed, he played the video once more, this time actually getting to listen. It was a soft melody, warm and deceivingly intricate, lulling him to sleep.

---

The second official date was up to Bucky to plan, since you had gotten to plan the first one. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but he wanted it to be a surprise.

Dress code? You had asked.

He texted back to wear something comfy and casual. He had gone back to his roots, opting for dinner and a drive-in movie. Remembering your favorite snacks from grocery shopping, he made sure to stock up beforehand, stealing your keys and tucking them into the trunk of the car along with a cozy blanket.

He straightened out the wrinkles in his light grey long-sleeve shirt and checked to make sure his jeans and sneakers didn’t have mud on them from the driveway earlier. Satisfied with his appearance, he snagged his leather jacket and went to warm up the car.

Several minutes after he had gotten in the drivers seat and started the car, you stepped out of the house. Your white headband kept the hair out of your face as you locked the door behind you. You had put your hair into two braids that fell against the fuzzy crème sweater. With your outfit completed with light-wash jeans, white sneakers, and a small cross-body bag, Bucky thought you looked absolutely adorable.

“Hey.” He greeted you with a huge smile.

“Hey!” You replied as you messed with the seatbelt. After it clicked, you looked up at him, allowing Bucky to get a better look at you. You had put on a more natural set of makeup that just enhanced your already present features- your eyelashes curling just at the tips, your lips glossy and tinted-pink.

“Where are we going?” You asked.

“You’ll see.”

A coy smile came upon his lips as he shifted the car into drive. It was a longer drive and you made easy conversation as the sun started to set. It always set so early in the winter, making it feel way later than it was. Bucky exited the highway and you perked up curiously, looking to see if you recognized anything. Eventually, he merged into the turn lane, waiting for the light so that he could turn onto the street with a huge sign that read Drive-In Movies, This Way.

“Are we going to a drive-in movie?” You questioned excitedly. Bucky laughed at your enthusiasm and nodded his head.

“Yup. We are.”

You looked forward excitedly as the light turned green and he turned onto the road. Bucky pulled up to a toll booth and rolled down the window. A man peered into the car momentarily before ringing up the register.

“Twenty four dollars please.”

Wordlessly, Bucky pulled out his wallet and handed the man the cash. Letting his left arm hang out of the window while he waited for the change, he took his right and cupped it against the side of his mouth in a dramatic fashion.

“I remember when these used to be a dime.”

Your mouth twisted in an effort to hold back your laughter as Bucky thanked the man for the change. As you pulled off, you couldn’t help but snort.

“Okay, that was cute.” Bucky teased, getting the crow’s feet in the corner of his eyes that you liked so much. You gave him a wide smile as he pulled into the last row. Your eyes grew wide at the trailers playing on the screen.

“Wow, this is amazing. I’ve never been the a drive-in before. The screen is huge!” You turned your head. “And there’s a snack bar!”

“Hold on,” Bucky said as he popped the trunk and exited the car. He lifted the bag out of the trunk and came back around to the door, ducking his head so that he could see you.

“I’ve got some of your favorite,” he said as he passed you the bag of snacks, “and a blanket to stay warm in.”

Your eyes lit up as you looked through the snack bag. He had gotten a variety of candy he’s seen you eat, as well as chips and a bucket of kettle corn.

“Of course, if you want anything else, you can still go to the snack stand.”

“No, Buck, this is great. You’re amazing.” You said as you shook your head, still ruffling through the bag. He laughed and got back into the car, throwing the blanket into the back seat and pushing his chair back. As you got situated, the sun set fully and the movie began playing.

---

There were about thirty minutes left in the movie, and you and Bucky had finished up with the snacks and settled into your seats. The action on the screen did little to distract you from the way Bucky’s thumb rubbed the top of your hand. You stole a glance at him and he met your gaze with an easygoing smile on his face.

“Do you like the movie?” He asked when you did not turn back.

“Oh, yeah, I like it. I’ve actually seen it before. I just really like being here with you.” You propped your elbow up on the center console and rested your chin against your palm, looking at Bucky with a dreamy look in your eyes. “Am I distracting you from the movie?”

Bucky leaned closer to you with an amused look on his face.

“Yes, but I have also seen this movie before.”

It only took a few moments before his lips met yours, parting slightly to taste your strawberry lip gloss. His hand came up to softly hold your face, his thumb brushing against your jawline. When you came apart, the expression on your face made him swallow thickly. Hooded eyes and slightly parted lips tempted him beyond his means. This time, you leaned in to meet him in the middle, no hesitancy behind your actions. You captured his bottom lip, giving it a little kitten lick before gently sucking on it. Bucky let out a small groan into your mouth unintentionally, making your breath hitch.

You kissed for a while, small noises escaping both of you as you tilted your head occasionally to deepen the kiss. Bucky felt something stir in him that hadn’t in a long, long time. It was absolutely intoxicating, being with you like this. All he wanted was a little more. Breaking the kiss, he pulled back just a little, slightly breathless, just as you were. You let out a breathy laugh, cheeks warm and lips swollen. A beat passed before Bucky said something that made you almost choke.

“If we’re going to keep kissing, you should come over here and sit on my lap.”

You turned your head, looking through the car windows. There was no one parked particularly close to you, and your windows were tinted anyway. With an excited grin on your face, you scooted backwards over the center console until your back was resting on the driver’s side door. You were angled slightly to face him, your outstretched legs over his lap and on the center console towards the backseat. You hooked your arms around his neck and giggled. You hadn’t done anything like this since you were in high school.

He chuckled with you before closing the gap. You felt each others smiles as you kissed. Slowly, the kiss deepened. His arms wrapped around your waist as he tilted forward, leaning over you and giving him better access as you opened your mouth to let his tongue in. His hands moved to support the back of your head and your lower back, causing you to groan slightly and shift in his lap.

Bucky opened his eyes in surprise, panicking silently. You hadn’t noticed, eyes still closed as you continued to kiss him. He cursed in his head, shifting you up slightly so that your leg wasn’t resting right on his crotch. Thankfully, he was wearing jeans and you hadn’t given any indication that you had noticed. He chastised himself in his head.

C’mon man, you’re not fifteen anymore. You can’t go around getting stiff every time you kiss a girl.

The bright lights cut back on, startling you and Bucky apart. You squinted your eyes and looked out towards the screen. The credits had just finished. Looking back to Bucky, you both laughed before kissing once more.

---

Afterwards, he took you to a classic diner, treating you to dinner and dessert. There was a jukebox in the corner that you and Bucky had looked at, racking up a few songs. You had danced slightly in your seat when your favorites came on, making him grin like a love-struck fool.

The diner had been close to the drive-in, so the drive home was still pretty long. Full and content, you had dozed off to the tune of the radio playing softly in the background. Choosing to let you sleep, he drove back silently, looking over at you with a smile every once and a while.

He pulled up to the driveway and parked the car, gently leaning over to rub your arm.

“Hey,” he said quietly, “We’re home.”

You hummed in acknowledgement as you yawned and let you eyes adjust to the lights in the car.

“Mmm. Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“It’s okay, it’s late. Let’s get you inside.”

You slowly got up and out of the car, gravel crunching underneath of your shoes. Bucky walked with you up to the front door.

“Goodnight, Bucky.” You said groggily, leaning forward to kiss him. He met you halfway, pecking you on the lips.

“Goodnight.”

He watched you cross the threshold, giving you his usual three-fingered wave when you turned back to wave goodbye.

---

For the third date, you had told Bucky to wear his suit and tie. He had no idea what to expect. Hearing thunder outside, he took a peak through the blinds. The wind was really starting to pick up. Grabbing his phone and wallet, he gave Alpine a quick scratch before heading out. The wind was harsh, even for Bucky’s standards. He jogged across the driveway and up the porch, knocking on the door. A few seconds later, you answered, stepping out onto the porch.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting the weather to be like this. I got us a reservation at the museum’s restaurant but I don’t think it’s a good idea to travel that far in the rain.”

You looked out at the sky as the wind whipped your hair around your face. Bucky took the moment to admire how attractive you were. You had on an emerald satin cowl-neck dress that had a slit up the side. Dainty gold earrings matched the shimmering tennis bracelet you on. Your heels gave you some height and made it look like you were showing off an ungodly amount of leg.

“I’m sorry Buck,” you started, looking back to him. “I think we’ll have to go out some other time.”

“I understand. You look beautiful, by the way.” He said as he grabbed both of your hands.

You thanked him with an affectionate smile before getting a thoughtful look on your face.

“Would you like to come in for a drink?”

---

You padded back to the living room with two glasses, heels discarded at the door. Bucky, sans coat and tie, had opened a bottle of whiskey. Tucking your leg under your knee, you sat close, facing him. You held out the glasses, letting him poured a small amount in each. He sat the bottle down and you held out your glass to clink it to his. You took a sip of liquid courage, trying to steel your nerves. You held your drink in your lap and put your arm up on the back of the couch, leaning your head on your hand.

“It’s strange how, once we started seeing each other, how much of a rush it feels. Does it feel like that to you?”

“I do. It feels like… I just can’t get enough.” He said with a chuckle.

“It’s quite nice.” You smiled softly. “To find someone you have an understanding with.”

Bucky nodded as he sipped on his drink. You’d only known each other for half of a year, but if he thought about it harder, you had spent a lot of that time together, especially during the last few months. Bonds are also strengthened during trials and tribulation- you were both people looking to start over, to live happily, to do what you love and have a sense of fulfilment.

“I just think you’re amazing. I think it’s amazing that you want to be with me. I went through so much for so long, and now I finally remember what it feels like to have a sliver of happiness. So thank you. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to be with anybody,” you started, looking down at your drink, “-and I would imagine it’s been the same for you.”

“Yeah. Since before the war.”

“There’s been nobody since?” Your face changed to one of empathy. Bucky took another sip of his drink.

“Nobody. Except you.” He glanced at you with a look of resolution and longing. Gently, you smiled back at him.

“I must be one lucky gal to catch you this late in the game.”

You looked at each other affectionately and kissed. It wasn’t rough, but still filled with passion. After a moment, you pulled apart. You looked up at him through your eyelashes and bit your lip. Bucky swallowed thickly.

“How… fast do you want to take things?”

He blinked in surprise at your words. He hadn’t expected a straight forward discussion about it, but then again, dating in this age was much different. It did make things refreshingly simpler.

“I, uh…”

You looked at him expectantly and he cleared his throat and apologized.

“Sorry. This is all new for me.”

You set a hand on his thigh encouragingly and offered to go first.

“I can start. I… haven’t been with anyone, physically, since my last relationship and you know how that ended. He could be a little… forceful, and that aspect of our relationship has proven to be one of the hardest things to heal from.”

At this point, you were looking down at your hand, tapping a soothing rhythm from muscle memory onto his thigh.

“… I’m sorry. That must be extremely painful to deal with. Nobody should have to go through that.” He put a hand onto your knee reassuringly, rubbing it with his thumb. You shook your head quickly.

“It’s in the past. I’m happy with where I am now. At the end of the day, that’s what matters. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself… Either way, I guess what I’m trying to say is… I’m not completely sure what I’m ready for, and I might not know until the opportunity presents itself. Please, be patient with me as I figure this. It’s not because I don't trust you or think you'll hurt me, I just...” You trailed off.

“Of course. Whatever you need. Don’t be afraid to tell me if you’re uncomfortable,” he assured you. “If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t been with anyone… ever.”

“Really? Like, you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” You looked at him in a way that implied that he better not be messing around.

“I mean, I’ve gotten a little handsy before,” he said in slight defense, lightening the tension. “but I’ve never been with anyone like that. We didn’t talk about stuff like this in the 40’s. It was expected that you… you know, wait until marriage. People still got together physically, but it was way less common back then. Believe it or not, Steve wasn’t the only gentleman out there.”

You nodded your head and looked at him, clearly impressed.

“No, I totally believe that. Wow. Playboy Sergeant Barnes, waiting for the right girl. You know they write about you like you basically invented premarital sex.”

“Pfft.” Bucky couldn’t hold back his laughter. You both fell apart into a round of giggles. You took another sip of your drink and tried to settle down, wiping your eyes and letting out a deep breath.

“So, are you waiting? To be married? It’s totally fine if you are, I’m just curious.”

Bucky shrugged his eyebrows, now bringing his arm to rest against the couch behind you.

“Not anymore. I think I might’ve then, but that was a lifetime ago. I think what matters most is how comfortable I feel with the person. Besides, it’s rude to keep a lady waiting.” His tone changed, wearing a teasing smile on his face. You rolled your eyes, though still smiling, and put a hand on his chest lightly.

“Very funny, Buck. I’m glad we got to talk about it.”

“Me too.”

The rest of the night was filled with cooking together and watching a movie, only to be distracted by each other. You had been making out with him for quite some time before you separated from him, yawning and stretching your arms over your head.

“Alright, I’m tired. Wanna sleepover?”

“What happened to taking things slow?” He half-teased.

“Well, I figured since you’ve already slept over here once, it wasn’t anything new. Plus you are so warm and it’s so cold.” You bantered. Changing to a more serious tone, you reiterated- “Only if you want to.” Bucky squinted his eyes as he thought and then mentally shrugged, getting up off of the couch.

“Sure.”

He followed you down the hall. You padded lightly to your room, pulling your hair to the front of your shoulder.

“Do you need clothes?” You asked as you started unzipping the top of the dress. Instinctively Bucky looked aside.

“No, I’m good, thanks.”

You responded “okay” as you stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you to change in privacy. He looked around before unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off, leaving him in a plain white t-shirt. He did the same with his pants before getting in bed on the side you don’t sleep on. Bringing one arm up under the pillow to prop himself up slightly and resting the other on his midsection, he let out a deep breath, getting comfortable. The sheets were extremely soft, and they smelled like you. Hearing the door open, he watched as you came out in a loose long-sleeve t-shirt and soft flannel sleep pants.

“Comfy?” You asked with a smile, hanging up the dress on the door.

“Yeah.”

You got into bed on your usual side and laid on your stomach, propping yourself up on your forearms as you looked down at him. Your hair created a curtain, blocking the light from the lamp and creating your own little bubble.

“Goodnight.” You smiled at him sleepily.

“Goodnight.”

He kissed you softly before settling back down. You turned off the lamp and scooched up next to him. He sighed in contentment and moved his arm so that he was holding you to him. With your head resting on his shoulder, he fell into the best sleep he had had in years.

---

The next morning, Bucky floated back up to consciousness to what felt like bliss. Stirring awake, he blinked his eyes open to find the source of the comfort- you. You were still asleep, curled up next to him, face against his arm. Carefully, he slid out of the bed so as to not disturb you, and went to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. He breathed in the morning as he looked out at the bare landscape. After experiencing cryofreeze and the depths of Siberia, the cold couldn’t phase him.

What did phase him, was the warmth he experienced with you. His entire life up until this point had been frigid. Losing his family, his friends, his life, his willpower. Everything around him was nothing but cold to the touch. Then, you came in with a burst of red warmth, thawing him out and letting him feel again. Feel something other than pain and confusion, anger and abandonment. The feeling of actually being happy, which was new and overwhelming.

He hadn’t noticed his breath growing heavier. Putting a hand to his chest, he tried to slow his breathing. Being happy also meant that it could now be taken away. He hadn’t had anything to lose in a long, long time.

The creaking of the floorboards caught Bucky’s attention, and he was able to calm himself down with the distraction. He poured another cup of coffee as you walked into the kitchen. Turning around, he saw you stretch your arms above your head before settling down on the barstool at the counter.

“Good morning.” You greeted him with a sleepy smile, slouching over the counter to watch him pour the exact amount of cream and sugar that you liked into the cup.

“Good morning.” He echoed, handing over the mug and leaning against the counter across from you. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“You didn’t. The delicious smell of coffee did.” You took a sip and sighed. “And maybe the cold did too.”

You reached over the counter for his hand. The warmth of his palm brought much needed heat to the tips of your fingers. He squeezed your hand slightly tighter than normal and you thought nothing of it. You lifted the mug to your mouth by one hand and took a longer drink before settling back in your chair. Your unbrushed hair framing your face as the light of the winter morning lit up your eyes.

Bucky’s breath sped up slightly as he looked at you, completely enamored and terrified of the feeling that was swelling in his chest.

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes angst #bucky x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader

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blouisparadise · 4 years ago

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Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics posted or completed during the month of August. We really hope you enjoy this list and that you give these fics a lot of love.

Happy reading!

1) Move Out | Explicit | 1525 words

Harry and Louis are moving in together, so they might as well make the most of Harry's apartment.

2) Take Off Your Business Suit | Explicit | 3082 words

“Yes, let me get another chair.” Louis said, leaning up off of the desk. He stood up but before he could leave the office to get another chair, Harry was grabbing his hand.

The words that came out of Harry’s mouth made Louis’ knees weak and heart beat quicken. “Just sit on my lap.” Harry said. Whatever he said afterwards didn’t make it into Louis’ ears as he was moving quickly over to Harry and placing himself on Harry’s lap.Louis would take anything Harry wanted to give him; hand touching, lap sitting, all of it.

Louis hadn't realized he was holding his breath until it came out in a quiet sigh. “Okay so th-this one will be slightly different right?” He asked as he pointed at the sheet of paper in front of him.

3) So Good, It's Making Me Drool | Explicit | 3364 words

He kept his back turned to Harry, whispering the few words he knew that would make Harry go absolutely wild. “If I’m only yours, maybe you should take me to bed and teach me who I belong to.”

4) What I Like | Explicit | 4245 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

Harry gets tired of the "older women" jokes and the incessant teasing from Louis.

5) ll Belong To Your Creation | General Audiences | 4349words

Louis had always thought it was impossible to do so. Thankfully, upon doing research he learned that he still can as long as there are no complications throughout the whole pregnancy. He also stumble upon a birth vlog where a mum was able to give birth naturally even after going through c-section with her first and second pregnancy.

6) An Axolotl and the Fake Date | Explicit | 5976 words

Harry runs a stall at a farmers market every weekend and Louis comes by one day with an odd request.

7) Feels So Right | Explicit | 8804 words

The one where Louis is Troy, Harry is Gabriella, and we find out what really happened after karaoke at that ski resort...

8) Giallo! | Mature | 9776 words

Louis was a mess. A stuttery mess of weak knees and grass stains on his fresh linen clothes, his cheeks blooming a natural pink that matched his sunburnt nose. Upon his return from University, his family abandon the bustling city of London to bask in the comfort of their summer villa. With such a property came maintenance, Louis' father hired a strapping young fellow with tanned skin littered with ink and a charming smile aided by dimples in both his cheeks. Between reading, baking and painting, Louis stares at Harry, he couldn't help it. They grow close under the sun of Greece in 1989.

9) Interlude: One Night in March | Explicit | 10671 words

Note: This is a sequel to this fic.

“Said I would, didn’t I?” Harry let his hands roam over Louis’s bare back, his muscles rippling with that same frenetic energy he always had, swirling just beneath the skin, just beneath Harry’s fingers. “May come a time I’ll have to carry you again.”

Cupping the back of his head and burying his fingers in Louis’s hair, he pulled Louis back into another deep kiss, moaned a bit when Louis squeezed his chest again, harder this time, like he wanted the shirt off. But instead he drew his hand down Harry’s side and tugged at the hem, as though to say best keep this on, before he licked into Harry’s mouth, drew Harry’s tongue out to play only to pull back enough to speak.

“May come a time I’ll actually fucking let you.”

10) Hate To Smoke (Without Me) | Mature | 12164 words

Sleep. Harry just wants one good night of sleep. However, his neighbour has a thing for headboard-banging-against-the-wall-sex every night. After a secret set-up and a bet, Harry may finally get the sleep he so much desires.

11) Call You Mine | Explicit | 12755 words

“I have a request.”

That’s what Louis Tomlinson says to Harry when he opens the front door a bit too aggressively. The latter feels justified after a round of annoyingly incessant knocking that was much too loud in the drowsy sludge of early Saturday morning.

“Zayn’s asleep,” is Harry’s tired, hoarse reply, irritation prickling at his skin. Less than a minute ago he was in bed, feeling perfectly content sprawled out on the mattress with the chilled air from the fan cool against his bare skin. And now he’s leaning up against the wooden door frame in nothing but his briefs because Zayn’s best mate decided that showing up unannounced at seven in the fucking morning was a brilliant idea.

“I’m not here for him,” says Louis curtly.

12) A Vivid And Wistful Melody | Explicit | 13128 words

"Slowly, he takes his violin out of its case, listens for a few more minutes to Louis’ flute, before joining him as best as he could. The flute stops for a few seconds, and Harry imagines Louis blinking cutely, taken aback, before huffing with a smile, and starting to play again, on a suddenly far happier tune. Harry closes his eyes as he twirls around the living room, violin in hand and music filling the air. He pictures Louis doing the same in his own flat while being careful as to not step on his cat.

Somehow, even with heavy eyes and tired limbs, this is the happiest Harry has ever felt in years."

In which they are neighbours stuck at home and they happen to start talking through a wall with a piano, a violin, and a flute. They end up writing the soundtrack of their own love story.

13) Until This Blood Runs Cold | Explicit | 13685 words

In a town as small as Louis’, everybody knows everybody and gossip spreads faster than the wildfires that rage on just outside their backdoors in the sweltering heat of summer. When something happens here everyone knows about it within seconds. Neighbors call neighbors and notes are left on doorsteps, old telephone lines ringing until there isn’t a single person who is left in the unknown.

So it’s definitely hot gossip when a vampire moves in across the street from him, the very same one who’s just become Louis’ boss.

14) A Road To Hope | Explicit | 18280 words

Note: There is no explicit smut but its implied BL.

“We’re far from the people and their issues, don’t hold back. Please.”

It’s true. They are far away from anything that could stop them, the middle of nowhere being the safest place on Earth for them to fall in love. The sacred land where sacred love is created. However, Louis is certain that even if they weren’t safe, he wouldn’t resist the sight of Harry, his pleading eyes, his warm skin beneath his touch.

15) Your Eyes Of Blue, Your Kisses Too | Explicit | 21785 words

When they get out onto the streets away from the crowds Niall turns to walk backwards, “So did you get any leads?”

“Well- uh.”

Niall shakes his head, “Too busy kissing that pretty boy onstage, I see. Gonna blow the whole case for a piece of ass?”

16) Thinking About Peaches | Explicit | 23724 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic, which is #18 on this list.

Eight smutty drabbles following the events of bruise you like a peach.

17) Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds | Mature | 38065 words

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

18) Bruise You Like A Peach | Explicit | 40694 words

Note: The sequel to this fic is #16 on this list.

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

19) Falling Out Of Fashion | Explicit | 42123 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Harry Styles has been the established face of the Grimshaw House of Design for two years. It’s a prestigious and coveted modeling contract Harry took away from once-famed supermodel Zayn Malik. With the model transition Grimshaw’s designs went from a more urban, Zayn-forward aesthetic, to a Harry-favoring flowery, flowing femininity in the Grimshaw designs for men.

So when Harry sees a dress Grimshaw made for a famous Marvel actress, “only a tease”, Nick says, of the evolving look, Harry knows Grimshaw is shifting his aesthetic.

Harry wonders if he can pull off the look.

Or could Grimshaw be looking for a new face?

20) Secretly Dating | Mature | 43615 words

Lottie groaned, looming over Louis with a glare. “If we’re late, Mum and Dad will never let Harry see me – ie. see you.”

It was the first time they openly addressed the fact that Harry saw more of Louis than Lottie on their supposed ‘dates.’ He supposed he knew as much, but it still startled him. “You’ve been setting us up!”

Lottie snorted, cocking out her hip and brushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Honestly, Harry. You’re so dense. To be fair, it was at Louis’ request.”

Louis’ mouth gaped like a fish as he jumped to standing position, wobbling only slightly. “Don’t sell me out!”

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Come on lovebirds.”

21) You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) | Mature | 95417 words

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

22) The Healing Song | Mature | 111851 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis was carrying the large stuffed elephant like it was a baby, it’s trunk hanging over his shoulder and down his back and it’s front legs were resting around his neck, like it was hugging him. Said elephant was a present from Louis’ close friend Steve, who had thought Louis needed something to hug on bad days and had gifted him with a stuffed elephant the size of a one year old.

Steve had been right. Some days Louis did need something to hug, and this elephant was as good as anything.

Louis was having one of the rougher days. The harmonious state of the anxiety free life of a fearless Louis had ended the week after he met with Harry. It ended as abruptly as it had started. It was like pushing a button. Lights out. Almost as if the universe said “You’ve had your fun, crazy one, now go be sick” and slammed the door in his face.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

#bottom louis #top harry #blp fic recs #monthly fic recs #fic recs #blp #larry

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ladyeliot · 4 years ago

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Before we go (Part three)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your company has sent you to Boston to close a deal on the same day you have the most important date of your life at night in New York. Things get complicated, you can’t return to New York and you have to spend the night in Boston with a complete stranger.

Warning: Fluff and a bit angst.

Word count: 2341

Notes: Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Over time life had made you learn many things, all of them based on bad choices that had led you down the wrong paths, yet inside you didn't regret any of them. You learned that when you love someone, or when you think you love them, you open the door to suffering, that was one of the sad truths you had found out. You assume that your heart may possibly end up breaking into a thousand pieces, or on the contrary, you may break that person's heart. Either way, you know that you will never be able to see yourself the same way again, because a new learning will stick with you. That is one of the risks that all of us who bet on love must take.

Perhaps things had not gone in the best possible way, but what you knew at that moment was that the banks of the Charles River created a magnificent scene, which you could spend hours contemplating. The night of a new day was before you, your walk was slow, there was no longer any hint of haste within you, only the reflection of a disappointment that you wanted to consciously erase.

Your companion took up his position next to you, who tried at all times to erase your negative thoughts from your mind by asking you noncommittal questions or telling you anecdotes that involved him in that city.

"Are you really telling me?" you asked, plucking a flower you had just picked.

"I promise, I promise," he insisted with a slightly embarrassed smile on his lips. "I was about seven years old when it happened."

You smiled and shook your head, dropping the flower completely stripped of its petals from your hands. Silence once again invaded your space, but it was no longer as comfortable as it had been at the beginning, nor did it last long, the riverside was a place where you could find anything. A warm composition of notes that connected perfectly reached your ears, coming from the inside of a saxophone, both of you could not avoid directing your gazes towards the man who was in charge of putting the soundtrack to the lives of the people who passed by.

Your footsteps paused for a moment, enjoying the surround sound, which was the perfect complement to the scenery, and even if it didn't seem so to you, to the scene you were living.Chris reached into his pocket and pulled out a note, which he dropped onto the hat of the gentleman prostrate at his feet, who thanked him with a tilt of his chin.

"Small gifts Boston offers you," he said, returning to your side.

"I must agree with you," you smiled as you enjoyed your surroundings.

"Really?" he asked in surprise, eliciting a small chuckle from you. "Wow..."

Minutes enveloped you, but again you went on your way. Each of you was there for a specific situation, you had your own situation that was more than partly solved, but he was still by your side, not facing his own, which made you curious.

"Can I ask you a question?" you said cautiously.

"Please," he said.

"Can I ask you what happened?" your words sounded cautious. "With the girl."

You felt him catch his breath, surely he was expecting it, especially after we'd been together for more than three hours without you asking him about it.

"Lana," he began, "was a great childhood friend. We did everything together, hung out at each other's houses, you know." He paused. "Things started to evolve, we started dating, she had always supported me in the decisions I made, but one day everything changed." Chris walked looking straight ahead. "I guess new obligations came along, new plans for the future where we weren't connected and that led to each of us being on different levels," he shrugged. "Obviously these things happen, you can't always end up with your childhood sweetheart."

You expressed what you felt after listening to him through a wistful smile, connecting for a moment your gazes. His words professed that he still had feelings for this girl, it was completely evident to anyone who had listened. Sadly for you it felt as if there was some similarity in your stories, as if an outside force would not allow you to maintain a stable relationship with the one you loved.

"And tonight she''s having her engagement party," you reminded yourself.

"That's right," Chris let out another sigh.

"And you came all the way to Boston for nothing?" you subtly rebuked, not understanding what he was doing there with you and not showing up at that party to win back the love of his life.

"What do you mean?" he asked looking at you somewhat confused.

"I don't know, weren't you supposed to be a superhero? You told me that yourself at dinner," you said comically in a serious tone. "Do you think Captain America would let someone else take his girl?"

Your words drew a small chuckle from inside him, but then he shook his head.

"Are you suggesting that I should show up at the party, grab Lana in my arms and run out of there?" he suggested with an arched eyebrow, and you shrugged.

"I'm suggesting that if you're here for something, just ask yourself why and if you're going to regret not doing it later," those words came from deep inside you. "Don't let it slip away."

Perhaps it was those last words that hurt you the most, for you did it once, you let it slip away, not knowing what it would lead to until after a while, time evidently put all things in their place, and it put them in your place. Chris stopped his steps for a moment, you turned to him, he kept his life a little lost, but on his face shone a smile, he turned his gaze to yours and reached out his hand for you to take it.

"Come on," he said confidently.

"What?" a naive little laugh escaped your lips as you looked at his hand.

"Come on, let's go!"

The instant you took his hand you both broke into a sprint, dodging people, crossing the road without cars having stopped, keeping your heart rate at its maximum, running through alleyways to close the gap. You braked hard for a moment, "wait a minute," you brought your hands to your heels, undoing the heels that were preventing you from running faster, "are you crazy?" Chris hesitantly smiled and took the heels in his hands, "let's go!

You had no idea where you were headed, but what you did know was that it was one of the things you needed most, to feel the wind crashing against your face, to hear your breathing speed up next to his, to release all the adrenaline you had hidden inside you and to feel his fingers clinging to your hand tightly. That spirit that drove you to do things without warning, without thinking too much, to do crazy things came back after years hidden inside you.

"We... we're almost there," he said nearly breathlessly, causing you to give one last sprint. "Are you all right?"

You nodded without barely uttering a single word, for if you did you would surely lose what little air you held in your lungs. Federal style buildings accompanied you at all times, your surroundings seemed to slow down, it seemed as if you had drifted into a peaceful slumber, for in life you would have thought you would end up running with a stranger totally barefoot through the streets of Boston in the wee hours of the morning with barely a penny in your pocket and no idea where you were going.

Chris stopped in the middle of the pavement, in front of a large red brick building fully lit with antique lanterns that added a picturesque touch to the scene.

"This is it," he muttered to himself.

He turned to you and bent down to help you put on your heels, laughing at the situation on the soles of your feet.

"They've had worse," you said, downplaying the situation. "Have you thought about what you're going to do?"

"I think so," he said getting back to his feet.

You looked around, just behind you were small steps that offered the entrance to one of the Victorian style houses that complemented the Beacon Hill neighbourhood.

"Alright," you nodded offering him an encouraging smile. "I'll be waiting here if you need me."

"No," he frowned, shaking his face. "Come with me."

After his answer you arched your eyebrows and looked at your attire, it was practically 19 hours since you had left your house, the attire was formal enough for a work meeting, but not for a party of that style, besides you really needed a shower.

"I'd really rather wait for you here and..."

"You're the one who gave me the idea and prompted me to come, so you're coming with me," Chris approached you and grabbed your arm, begging you with his eyes to come inside. "I promise we won't be long. Besides, you look great."

You assumed that last compliment was an incentive for you to accompany him, but after analysing the look in his eyes, it was impossible for you not to accept his request. The atmosphere was exquisite, but the discomfort was present not only in you, but also in your companion whom you had seen like this before. The lift took you to the rooftop, where the festive atmosphere enveloped each of the people chatting and dancing entertainingly under the spotlights. Your hands connected again as you wove through the crowd, Chris trying to catch a glimpse of someone who looked familiar, but failing to do so on his own.

"Chris?!" a female voice came from behind you, causing him to turn around.

It was only a few seconds before you discovered in the blue eyes of your companion who the young woman who had appeared before you was, it was her, Lana.

"I thought you weren't coming!" the two of them embraced and you just offered them some distance, with a shy smile of joy. "It's so good to see you."

As if they hadn't seen each other for years they began a conversation in which they both never stopped smiling at any moment, you could barely hear them over the noise of the music, but you guessed what they were both saying to each other.

"This is Y/N," Chris said pulling you out of your thoughts, Lana smiled and you both kissed each other on the cheek.

"Nice to meet you," she said smiling.

" Nice to meet you too," you added, sharing her joyful expression.

The minutes passed and you waited curiously for Chris to present some option on the table that would make the two of you go and have a quiet chat somewhere out of the way, but the moment didn't come, as they said goodbye without further ado, leaving you a little confused. Just as you had come up, you found yourself in the lift going down, your nerves seemed to have faded, and your ears had exchanged the indie music for absolute silence. You watched him out of the corner of your eye, he seemed to be in a down mode, perhaps pensive, the worst thing is that you knew how he might be feeling right now, so you decided to give him his space.

Once again you found yourselves tackling the picturesque streets of Beacon Hill, with no apparent fixed direction, two people, side by side facing each other, moving at a slow pace. The last thing you wanted to do at that moment was to upset him, but you felt a little responsible for how he was feeling, since the bright idea of encouraging him to do this had been yours, but you didn't know what had happened to make him feel that way. Nor did you know how to act, until a unique opportunity presented itself before your eyes.

You stopped your steps, causing Chris to turn his face towards you, and made your way towards a pay phone just off the roadway. You took the receiver in your hands and gave him a glance with a raised eyebrow, finally catching a soft look of joy on his face, almost regretfully he approached you.

"What date would you like to call?" you said as if you were the one in charge of the phone dialling. "Maybe your six hours ago self to warn him of a very strange young lady he's going to meet at the train station and that he'd better not think of going near to talk to her?"

You caused Chris to look you intently in the eye and with a sigh he picked up the handset, dialed a few keys, you barely noticed what they were because you were lost in his gaze.

"Chris! Hey! It's me, you," he kept looking at you, "listen, tomorrow you're going to travel to Boston, you know why, Lana's engagement party, well, before you go, a series of events will happen, crazy events," he gave you a soft smile. "Well, you'll see Lana, you'll talk to her, you'll laugh with her and you'll say goodbye to her, that's all, in those moments you'll realize that the past is the past, she's happy and you're happy, that's... that’s all that matters."

Without taking his eyes off you, he took the receiver away from his ear and hung it up, releasing the air in his lungs. You both stared at each other in silence for a few moments, until you decided to offer him your hand as he had done before.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4

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allykakamatsu · 3 years ago

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Hypothetical P5A

Okay, gonna make this clear right up front, I wanted to make this post for a while but the main reason I decided to do it now is because the Atlus announcement thing is almost here, and also cause I saw a video on this topic by Thorgi’s Arcade (go watch it btw it’s good) and while I agree with a lot of what he said, there’s also some things I’d change, not just cause I disagree, but also cause I think it would be fun. Anyway enough beating around the bush, let’s do this

Gameplay

I’m a firm believer in the phrase, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and the Arena games are already really good so not much to change. That being said, I still wanna change some things. First off though, we are keeping this 1 vs 1, no tag team matches. The arena games already have a lot of Mechanics going on and trying to keep everything as well as some new stuff WHILE adding a tag team button, yeah no let’s not outside of maybe a bonus mode.

This means I can’t add Batton Pass in as a new mechanic to represent P5, but I have a solution, that being Technicals. Status ailments already exist in this game, so how about when you inflict one and do a specific combo you do more damage, also providing risk vs reward as the player with the status will have a better idea of what the opponent will do making them more predictable. Also as for Persona’s, mostly everyone’s will be fully evolved, minus Yu cause him getting a final boss persona normally is a tad to OP, meanwhile the P5 characters will have their starting Persona’s, but they will evolve for big moves, like awakened mode supers and instant kills

I’m also borrowing Thorgi’s Arcade idea of having supports giving a slight buff in battle, like if you pick Fuuka your meter can build faster for a bit, meanwhile if you pick Futaba you’ll get an attack and defence buff. It’s the fairest way to include them without having to make them playable. I know Rise is already playable but this roster is going to have to be small as it is, and being a support doesn’t mean you can’t be DLC later.

Also, we’re not bringing back the Shadow Characters, just, we are not dealing with the likes of Shadow Naoto again.

:readmore:

Story

I am about to cop out a bit here, but Thorgi’s Arcade video had a really good idea for the story so I’ll just link it here https://youtu.be/yyB5rEM9UVU

youtube

To summarise for people who don’t want to watch, Nyarlathotep, the main villain from the Persona 2 games, has been gaining strength from all the suffering humanity has gone through due to 3, 4 and 5, and has gained enough strength to create a new Joker to try finish what he started and destroy the world. Mitsuru might think the Phantom Thieves are behind it cause this is clearly persona related and the fact that the leader of the PT’s is also named Joker is public knowledge, Naoto gets largely the same idea, Katsuya and Maya decide to have their own investigation, meanwhile the Phantom Thieves are trying to prove their innocence and help save the world. Nice excuse to bring everyone together, but who will the everyone be?

Base Roster

Okay, I know the dream is getting everyone from Ultimax back plus the new P5 characters, but given Arc System’s standard for small base rosters, I’m not holding my breath. The ideal would be everyone plus who I’m about to say for P2 and P5, but I’m keeping it… somewhat realistic. Anyway onto the actual size, 16 seems fair enough. One more than the most recent Guilty Gear game for a series that had pretty big success so that sound fair enough. Let’s get the obvious out of the way though, all the base 8 Phantom Thieves besides Futaba are making the cut

Okay so that’s obvious but how will they play? Starting off with Ren/Joker, Smash Bros already laid a great foundation with him being very fast on the ground and in the air plus being great at combos, so I see no reason to change that. Also no need for him to be a Jack of all trades either cause spoilers, Yu is coming back and he already fills that role.

As for the others, Ryuji I can see being a slugger charge hybrid. Basically starting out he hits pretty hard but is a bit on the slow side to compensate, but just like any good athlete, give him a chance to warm up, ie do a charge input, and he becomes a lot faster and has better combo potential. Or we could make him a toned down version of Little Mac where he’s great on the ground but he’s in trouble the second aerial combat is involved. Then there’s Morgana who with his ability to turn into cars and the fact he introduces thief tools like smoke bombs, I can see him being a faster but frailer successor to Teddie.

Then there’s Ann who, no doubt, she’s a Zoner, and with her fire she’ll be Yukiko’s sort of successor. However instead of healing, I’d implement the fact that she learns concentrate and have it so the more she charges it up, the stronger her attacks get, but the Meter will gradually go down over the match. Yusuke, as tempting as it is to cop out and say ‘have him play like Vergil in Marvel vs Capcom’, I have a different idea. Namely, take advantage of the fact that Yusuke can learn counter by having him be the defensive specialist, set up ice traps to freeze the opponent, and if they get close, he can either counter or go for some combos.

Then there’s Makoto who would definitely be a grappler. I mean, she practices Aikido and is really strong, she can 100% pull it off. Finally Haru…… TANK! I mean come on, Haru wields an axe, has a grenade launcher, and Melady is literally a dancing tank in a pink dress, it just makes too much sense. I’d also give her a bit of armor cause if she’s slow she at least needs a chance to get her attacks in.

Okay so that’s 7 out of our 16 slots down, and given that one slot will have to be saved for the Evil Joker who would be the villain, we’re halfway done with 3 games to go, lord help me.

Okay, starting this off with P4, I’m gonna give them more than the others purely because they were the focus of the originals and there’s less realistic cuts I can make compared to 2 and 3. To make things simple, every returning character would play the same, and as for the ones I’d bring back for the base roster, we’ve got Yu, Yosuke, Chie and Naoto. Why them specifically? Well Yu is the main character, Naoto being a detective would basically mean she’d be the one getting everyone involved in the first place, Chie is currently training to be a cop as confirmed in P5 so her getting called in makes sense, and Yosuke is the best investigator after Yu and Naoto, he’s always up for a mystery and the second he learns Yu is involved he’s joining in. I just couldn’t cut him.

Now before the really painful cuts, Persona 2 is really easy. Out of Innocent Sin party members, by the end of the series Maya is the only one left with a Persona, and Katsuya is not only older brother of Innocent Sin’s protag Tatsuya, but he’s also pretty important and a detective so he’s definetly the one Maya’s dragging into this. As for how they play, they both use guns like Naoto, but how I’d mix them up is with Katsuya, I’d let him attack while moving (unlike Naoto who has so stay still to fire) at the cost of less combo potential, meanwhile Maya dual wields her guns so she’ll probably play like Noel Vermillion from BlazBlue where she’d more or less just use the guns to get longer reach melee attacks instead of shooting.

Now, for the hard part. There’s only 2 slots left, one of them basically has to go to Mitsuru (not that I’m complaining I’d probably add her anyway) meaning now I have to choose between the rest of the Shadow Operatives/SEES for the last slot. I narrowed it down to the 3 that were in the original Arena cause they’re the most plot relevant, but that still meant I had to choose between Akihiko and Aigis. I ended up deciding on Aigis though cause A, with Labrys not making the base roster someone has to represent the robots of the series, and B, with Akihiko currently pulling a Ryu by travelling to get stronger, it makes more sense that Aigis would be closer and easier for Mitsuru to call up. Honestly I was tempted to bump the roster up to 17 so I could have both of them on the base roster, but this is ArcSystems, 16 is already kinda pushing it.

DLC

Given that this is a modern fighting game, DLC is inevitable. However since this DLC will likely be like Ultimax where the story acts to wrap up loose ends and have a new story, it’s going yo be big, especially since there’s going to be a fight with Nyaraloptep, so go big or go home in this case. Okay so first order of business, anyone who was in the previous arena games who wasn’t in the base roster is getting added back in, it’s only fair. That out of the way, the new faces I’d add are Futaba actually being playable now and the big 4 P5 characters I skipped, Akechi, Yoshizawa, and Sophie. Before anyone asks though, Sophie was added into a Dragalia Lost collab with Koei Techmo not being credited so she’s likely Atlus’s copyright so she's safe to add.

With that out of the way, how would they play? Starting with Futaba, I’d think she’d be the resident puppet fighter, sitting on top of Necinomicon and only occasionally adding in some of her own attacks like a projectile. Also she'd also probably act as a bit of a grappler cause her Persona has tentacles (no hentai jokes please) which have long reach so that'll be perfect for it. Next up is Akechi who I can see as semi being two characters in one. My basic idea is that at first Akechi will be fighting with Robin Hood and he'll be a solid jack of all trades with a slight focus on rush down. However once he goes into his awakened mode he'll gain Loki, which will increase his speed and attack strength, at the cost of his defence, turning him into a glass cannon.

Next is Yoshizawa, or 'Sumi as I like to call her, and her thing will be she's the mobility focused fighter, namely constantly moving around the stage and poking at her opponent while doing it, at the cost of being frail. Finally there’s Sophie who would be a combo focused zoner, as in her standard projectiles (the yo-yo’s) wouldn’t hurt that much on their own, but she can string them together into the fancy yo-yo tricks to potentially do big damage. As for how much this DLC would cost, it’s going to be very big, so €25 to €30 sounds fair

I think that more or less covers my thoughts. I could keep going on about this for a while, but I think this is a good place to stop. Hope you like my idea!

#Youtube #persona 5 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 2 #persona arena #phantom thieves #investigation team #SEES #shadow operatives #happy 25th anniversary Persona!

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ptergwen · 4 years ago

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yo, what do you think about peter with an azula type reader? Like with the abilities & all that? Would he be interested in something like that, wdy think?

YOOOO HOLD ON i never thought about that before but now that you mentioned it that would be so sick! so here’s a kinda long headcanon

you were recruited by tony after he read your file from SHIELD

he had asked them to send over any information they had on possible threats

your name was on the list

tony read all about your fire powers and where you came from

he realized you were just a kid who needed some guidance, and you could do amazing things if you learned how to use your powers for good

that’s how you end up at the avengers facility

you want to work on yourself as much as tony does, but you were honestly scared

until you met peter

tony introduced you to him after you settled into your room

peter definitely wasn’t ready for it

“i’m uh, wow, i’m peter. your hair’s really pretty. wait that’s weird-“

he was a stuttering, blushing mess

you thought it was kind of sweet

“i like yours too. i’m y/n.”

he gave you a goofy smile and stuck out his hand

that was a bit dorky to you, but you shook it anyway

part of working on yourself is being nicer to people

tony suggested peter gave you a tour of the facility, and you were both down

peter took you down every hall on every floor, telling you fun facts about each avenger when you passed their room

he sure did talk a lot

it’s nice though. you didn’t really have friends, and this was your chance to change that

you even laughed at a corny science joke peter made while showing you tony’s lab

“personally, the movie theater is my favorite room in the whole place”

“do you guys have star wars here? it would look so cool on a screen that big”

“oh my god, we’re gonna be best friends”

you started your training the next morning with wanda, since her powers are the most similar to yours

she teaches you how to control yourself so your emotions didn’t set them off

you have a habit of shooting fireballs involuntarily when you lost your temper

peter offered to help you practice defense moves later

he didn’t know what he was in for

he thought having nonflammable webs meant he’d get you down easily

you just blocked everything he shot with a shield of fire

peter was already in awe of what he was seeing

“holy shit, you can do that? that’s so awesome!”

“i can do a lot of stuff, peter. maybe i should be giving you defense training”

training with peter and wanda went on for a couple of weeks

then you added in breakfast with peter and lunch after defense practice

it became a routine you actually looked forward to

you eventually worked your way up to gameroom nights together

your favorite is air hockey because you beat peter almost every time

sometimes you let him win just to see his dumb eye crinkling smile

dance dance revolution is also fun

you both suck so you always end up freestyling

peter’s carefree attitude really balances you out, especially when you‘re in a mood about something

unlike most people, your sarcasm is what peter likes most about you. you could be funny without actually trying

he’s one of the only people who wasn’t automatically afraid of you or your powers. he gave you a chance to show your real self to him

you spent over a month getting to know each other before peter asked you out on a date

he was super nervous about it, sweaty palms and all

“y/n, you um... i mean um... do you wanna watch a movie with me?”

“like as a date?”

“if that’s okay with you, yeah”

so you watched the empire strikes back in the big facility movie theater

you and peter shared popcorn and he kept doing the cliche thing where he’d “accidentally” touch your hand in the bucket

he was such a nerd but you overlooked it

towards the end he worked up the courage to hold your hand

you were surprised he didn’t ask a bunch of times first, but laced your fingers together

after it ended he walked you back to your room (which was right across from his) with his hand in yours

the next morning at breakfast he asked you out on another movie date

a few weeks later and you were officially a couple

you’re also officially on the team!!!

tony decided you’d had enough training at that point to start patrolling

peter took you with him one night so he could give you a little tutorial

there wasn’t much going on, so you just did firebending tricks for him on a random rooftop

peter loves watching you in your element

he knows how powerful you really are, and that you can do things nobody else could. no one appreciated it like he did

patrol evolves into missions together

you play bad guy, he plays good guy when it comes to dealing with anyone

peter has his quips and strength, you have a lot of rage and stamina to work with

tony is proud of the duo he kind of created

of course peter gives you those cheesy compliments after like “you were on fire out there” and “you looked smoking hot fighting that guy, babe”

then there are the missions that don’t go so well

you have a hard time keeping it together like wanda taught you when those happen

you’ll get back to the facility and fight some punching bags in the gym, burning at least one to ashes

peter never judges you for that

he knows how it feels to be angry after losing

you just want to prove you‘re getting better, and a loss won’t do that

he helps you get your confidence back up, however long it takes

it isn’t long at all before you have him pinned to the floor during training

which could sometimes lead to a makeout session if he isn’t feeling too shy

oh yeah and peter looooooves kissing you

like he’s just waiting for you to make the move all the time

you’re the one who speeds it up or bites his lip first

plus he says you taste like cinnamon which you’re pretty sure is another fire joke

you’re there to make peter feel better after his losses too

he’s better at it though because he’s the nice one and you’re more awkward with that stuff

but you both support each other however you can

you’re not super into pda because peter is shy about it, but there are those rare times he holds you by your waist or kisses your cheek in front of the other avengers

sam and bucky tease the hell out of peter for it

everyone else just ignores it, but thor thinks it’s adorable

you have to admit, you love your odd little family

you take advantage of the summer weather and have campouts in the huge ass backyard sometimes

peter gets the tent set up while you start a fire by throwing fire disks at the wood

it gets peter every time

“y/n, i think you’re the coolest person i know. or should i say warmest?”

“parker, i think you’re the biggest nerd i know. but it’s cute”

you roast marshmallows and pepper comes to check on you once or twice

tony worries about you guys, but he won’t say it directly

you try to scare peter with a ghost story, and he won’t confirm but you saw him shiver

you go to bed in sleeping bags with peter’s head resting on your chest

when summer comes to an end, peter has to go back home to queens

school is a thing and he misses may

you’re both literally devastated he can’t stay at the facility forever

“i wish you could come to midtown so bad. it’s gonna suck not seeing you every day”

“i have to keep working on myself. we’ll figure it out, parker”

you hug for a good five minutes and peter has to let go first

you’ll never tell him, but you cried the day he left

it’s not so bad because you have nat and wanda to spend time with

and peter texts you live updates of his days at school

you also facetime if he’s not on patrol or you’re not on a mission

he makes his weekly visits to the facility as requested by tony

but he spends more time with you than whatever he’s supposed to be doing

peter brings ned and mj with him one time since he thinks you’ll all get along

you become friends with mj even faster than peter

she has the same dry sense of humor as you, and she thinks your powers are so badass

now you have the best boyfriend in the world and some really cool friends too

life isn’t so bad after all

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bokutosworld · 4 years ago

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someday | kageyama tobio

a kageyama x f! reader one shot loosely inspired by iu’s ending scene.

wc: 2.8 words of heartbreak, regrets, and moving on.

summary: kageyama returns home for a reunion he never asked for and gets the closure he has been hoping for. this takes place post-timeskip and has slight manga spoilers.

it took five snoozes on his phone alarm before kageyama turned on his back, opening his eyes to stare at his apartment ceiling. he came home late last night and the jet lag was certainly taking its toll on him. it was currently 10:01 am, and in two hours, he would be meeting up with his high school friends. while he wants nothing more than to stay in his bed for the whole day, hinata threatened him that he would spill all his dirty secrets if he didn't show up for the mini reunion. as if i am hiding anything, kageyema thought. he was going to give his orange headed friend a good smack when he sees him later.

at 11:30 am, kageyama was already making his way to their meet up spot. hinata, yachi, yamaguchi and tsukishima all agreed to gather at a subway station which was a 15-minute walk from his current apartment. the route to the station was more picturesque than ever, with the cherry blossoms in full bloom and the pink petals decorating the street like a red carpet. it didn't hit him until that moment that it was currently spring in japan, his favorite season. he admires the view and suddenly he feels as if he's being pulled back to seven years before. when he was a first year on his way to karasuno and saw you, glowing and smiling happily, under the beautiful sakura tree. he wishes now that someone could have warned him that meeting you was a mistake. spring was his favorite season, but for some reason, it's been tainted with memories he wishes he could erase.

by the time he arrives at the station, he saw that everyone was waiting for him. hinata saw him, looking almost frustrated, 'kageyama, you dumbass! you are late!' the other three simultaneously turned their heads to see him sprinting towards them. when he reached them, he crouched and was desperately trying to catch his breath. hinata was still shouting at him, while tsukishima and yamaguchi was laughing at the duo. yachi was watching over them, nostalgia hitting her faster then she wanted that she failed to stop the words coming out, 'you guys never changed huh.'

it's been three years since kageyama saw this crazy bunch. the last time being the one right before he flew to italy where he was joining a team. they all saw him off at the airport, giving him their best wishes and hopes for his success. it even surprised him that hinata, who would usually tease and give him a playful remark, teared up as he left for the departure gates. it was everything he could have asked for a goodbye, but deep down, he wished that someone else was there to see him off too, for one last time.

the four friends were now settled in a yakiniku restaurant. as always, food was the first in their agenda for the day. while waiting, they comfortably launched into a conversation, catching up on each other's lives and plans for the future. at one instance, kageyama teased tsukishima for pursuing professional volleyball despite lacking the interest in it back in high school. the blonde boy just laughed and took a sip of his drink before surprising everyone at the table, 'well, at least i had the guts to do what i wanted to do. unlike others here who knew what they wanted and already had it but chose to let it go.' to make his point, tsukishima sent the setter a smirk.

an awkward silence enveloped the table. their food arrived and while the kind waitress was setting the different dishes down, the four people were dreading where the conversation will go after what tsukishima said. when the lady left, giving them one bow, kageyama spoke up, 'how is she?' everyone blinked, not knowing how to approach the topic. he repeated himself, while taking his chopsticks and getting a piece of the meat, 'y/n. how has she been doing?' he looked over at yachi, expecting her to have some kind of answer. he remembers how she was best friends with you. yachi smiled, 'she's great! the last time i heard from her, she was visiting her relatives in osaka. i haven't checked up on her this week, i sent her a message though.' she paused, gauging kageyama's expression. he was always difficult to read, yachi knew this from you. she continued, 'i told her about you visiting. she hasn't replied to me.' the conversation shifted to another topic when hinata, worried at his friend, told a story about his time in brazil.

unknown to his friends, kageyama has zoned out of the chat, his mind drifting back to the last moment that he shared with you. he remembers it vividly as if it happened yesterday. it was graduation day and you pulled him to the gardens to talk as soon as the ceremony ended. he had an inkling of what you were about to say, and he was terrified.

he recalls how you shyly looked at him during that time. the you back then was so different from your usual confident and playful self. he's been so used to you going up to him, initiating a conversation and letting you take the lead.

he's always let himself get carried away with your stories, your antics, and even your subtle advances. time seemed to stretch out as you debated whether to go through with your speech, so kageyama spoke up, 'it's finally over. we've graduated.' after a long while, you looked at him and his gaze looked so soft, so focused on you in that moment that you thought there was no other people in the world but the two of you. smiling, you replied, 'yeah, we did it.' shaking off your nerves, you let out a sigh and continued to speak, 'who would have thought that the kageyama, who's so committed only to volleyball, devoted all his time and effort to the sport, could actually get passing grades and make it through high school?'

he shook his head at your taunting statement, reaching out a hand to ruffle your hair. annoyed, you made a move to swat at his hand, but he got it first and intertwined your fingers, 'if it weren't for you, i wouldn't have made it.' he was telling the truth. when he saw you under the sakura tree that time, he wouldn't have imagined that you two would be classmates. he never thought you would be a fixture in his high school life. in first year, he saw you as someone he can rely on to help him with his studies and make sure he never gets a grade below 70 so he could keep his spot in the volleyball team. come second year, he was surprised to see you helping yachi in the gym. as it turns out, you were the new club manager that yachi was telling the team about. since then, his relationship with you evolved.

doubts and questions about your friendship started bothering kageyama on his third year. as focused as he was with practices and preparations for volleyball after high school, he often found himself yearning for your presence - whether it was on or off the court. speculations about your relationship, about him and you being a couple, began circulating around school. the rumors didn't help the emotions that was building inside kageyama, forcing him to look at you as more than a friend but as a lover. as much as he wanted you, kageyama has already set his mind. he felt sick, dizzy, whenever he thought of the dream that he'd carried since he was a child. it was a future without you.

so he doesn't know what to do or what to say when you finally gathered your courage and confessed to him. 'i love you, tobio.' he slowly let go of your hand. your palm felt empty, and you wished you could ignore the warning sign, but you persisted. 'us being friends for the past three years was not a coincidence. us being in the same place three years ago, under that sakura tree, was not fate. i believe that everyone is where they are because of the choices they have made.' you pause, giving him time to absorb what was happening. 'that day, i deliberately took a different route from home to catch the cherry blossoms in full bloom. i knew that street would be lined with pretty sakura trees. i wasn't expecting that i would see someone far more beautiful than the view.' he knows you were talking about him. and he wouldn't say it, but that day, he also took detour to see the beauty of spring. 'my mom always said that life is full of choices. and every day since that spring, my choices have led me to you.'

when you didn't speak for minutes, kageyama took it as his cue to talk. there were so many questions swimming in his mind but all he could ask was, 'why me?' you grinned, 'you don't really need an explanation to know that you are in love. you feel it. and what you make me feel is indescribable. you make me giddy, happy, excited, and proud,' you take a step forward and grab both of his hands. 'and there's nothing i want more in life than to be by your side, supporting you and seeing you achieve your dreams.'

he knows you mean no harm, and he would be lying if he said that he didn't feel moved by what you said. deep down, kageyama feels the same way and he wants to let you know. heck, he would have asked you to be his girlfriend if he didn't feel so confused. he was a simpleminded person and he thought, in all honesty, that he couldn't be a good boyfriend and give you all his time and affection if he was continuing volleyball after high school. so although he reciprocates your feelings, he thought it would be better to keep his love hidden and reject you now than disappoint you in the future. he really thought he was doing the both of you a favor.

'i'm sorry.' as soon as he said those words, your world felt like it was crumbling and you could feel your heart shattering, but he continued, 'you are too good for me.' is that even a compliment, you thought. 'your friendship means so much to me but you and i know having something more will not work.' you hadn't realized you were tearing up. you pulled away your hands, and started wiping at your cheeks. this was it for you two and the ending scene was becoming too much for kageyama. he wanted to hug you and take it all back, but then he heard you say through bated breaths, 'did i read the signs wrong? were my choices a mistake?'

'no, you didn't,' kageyama is looking at you now, almost pleading for you to forgive him. to forget him. 'but i've already decided my future long ago before you went into the picture.' nodding, you sigh, 'so there's no space for me in your future?' kageyama couldn't say anything but the words i am sorry.

it took a while before you calmed down, letting the rejection sit with you. kageyama still recalls the words you said to him before you walked away, 'i know i wish a lot of things, but right now, what i'm wishing for the most is that you don't forget me.'

the hurt expression on your face and the sting when you said those words still affect kageyama to this day. like a curse that was placed upon him since graduation, kageyama has indeed not forgotten you. the flashback that came and overwhelmed him ended when yamaguchi asked kageyama about his vacation plans in japan.

after eating, the group decided to stroll around the mall. each one had things to buy and tsukishima suggested that they went on their separate ways to run their errands and meet right after in the ground floor. kageyama had no other things to do, he could already buy souvenirs but the boy figured he was staying longer than usual and he could get them later in the airport.

deciding to take it easy and relax, he went inside a coffee shop. he didn't notice how he caught the attention of a particular girl who was sitting in the corner. after he placed his order, he sat himself in the available table in the center of the cafe. kageyama felt as if he was being watched, but he shrugged it off, thinking it was one of his fans. minutes passed and a barista gave him his order and soon after getting his drink, someone took the seat in front of him. he looked up, with furrowed eyes, and he swears he felt his heart skip a beat.

after all these years, you still had that effect on him. you excitedly beamed at him, 'so you still drink cafe latte. you haven't changed a bit.' he couldn't believe what he was seeing, he almost spat out his latte, 'i heard you were in osaka?' you laughed and went on to tell him how you returned home earlier than expected because of work-related issues. he didn't need to ask as you caught him up to your life, sharing bits and pieces of what you have been up to since graduation. you seemed happy, being able to do what you've always dreamed of as a manager for a well-known clothing brand. kageyama wishes he has been there to see you rise and be successful, but that would be asking for too much, especially after what he did to you.

sensing that he was feeling uncomfortable, you asked with the kindest tone he's ever heard, 'are you happy, kageyama?' he was speechless at your choice of words, but he knew there was no malice behind them.

'i've missed you.' he wants to say more. to say that letting you go was his biggest regret in life. choosing volleyball over you was mistake that he had realized when one night, after a terrible game, all he wanted was your presence to comfort him. there were moments when he felt so lost that he wanted to pick up his phone and call you. but this was a choice he made and he had to live with it.

'i know, i missed you too, kageyama. it's been way too long.' there were so many words begging to be said but left hanging between the two of you. but the look you held in your eyes was enough for kageyama to know that you have moved on. you glanced at the windows behind him and he noticed how your eyes lit up. he followed your line of sight, and he saw who he can only assume was your lover. you waved at him and before you can say goodbye to kageyama, he beat you to it, 'for what it's worth, i didn't forget you. not once.' you know he was talking about your last request to him and your heart warmed. 'thank you, tobio. i'll see you around.' finally, you turned around and exited the cafe to be welcomed into the arms of your boyfriend.

kageyama saw the two of you walking away, slowly fading from his line of sight. it was weird, he thought he should be feeling sad and broken as he has spent the past years after high school yearning for you from afar. he had selfishly hoped that you would be waiting for him. that when he returned, you would be welcoming him with open arms. but that's not how life works. he was thankful that time has been good to you and gave you the happiness you deserves.

just as he was letting the surprise reunion sink in, hinata came barging in the cafe and took a seat. he peered at kageyama, almost worried, 'you're creepy. why do you have this weird look on your face?' he sneered at hinata and threw a tissue at him. 'what took you so long? you didn't even buy anything.' at that, hinata goes on to complain about his shopping experience.

while he was listening his intently at his old friend, kageyama thinks back to you. the acceptance comes in slow but he was sure. he used to wish for you, but now, he hopes he would also find his own happiness.

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rinharu-purple · 4 years ago

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Lucien: MLQC’s Mastermind

Yes, I said that Lucien is the creepiest LI in my opinion, and I wouldn’t choose him in a million, billion years. BUT, Lucien is by far the one person, who is pulling the strings and is the driving force of the MLQC universe. He is the only person who acquires all the information from all sides and is connected to every important actor in the story. Therefore, Lucien has become the second LI I’ve started to follow more attentively. Mind that the ranking ist 1) Gavin 2) Gavin 3) Gavin 4) Lucien ;)

In my manifesto, why Gavin is MC’s choice, I’ve already mentioned briefly, that Lucien has the strongest EVOL among all the characters but is also the strongest character (it’s not the MC or the Black Queen, let’s not fool ourselves)

The Machiavellian

Before we talk about Lucien’s part in the MLQC universe, we should first look at him as person and observe the elements that make up his personality.

In the game, all our guys have their personal priorities. Gavin and Kiro are on the front line, fighting for peace and prosperity, Victor, well...I don’t think that he cares for anything else besides MC, maybe his position. But with Lucien, his priority is not a person or a concept, but rather a philosophy. Lucien wants to see the next step in human evolution and is determined to take any measures necessary to see it to it’s end. Other guys can not stand oblivious to other things that come up their way in achieving their goals but Lucien only has his eyes on the prize and to him nothing else matters, no one else matters and no ethics matter.

Machiavellianism denotes cunningness and claims, that those dark triads use whatever means necessary to gain power. If we consider the choices Lucien has made throughout the story so far, we can clearly find his manipulative ways in getting other actors to the positions of his conjecture. He lies to MC and hides his personality as Ares, penetrates Black Swan to use their facilities, but also uses LFG’s resources for his R&D projects all the while concealing his true nature.

Another trait of a Machiavellian, is that he is charismatic and friendly, all the while displaying no emotions. I think, there can be two possible reasons as to why Lucien has limited display of emotions. The first possible explanation has something to do with his parents passing and the trauma he suffered afterwards. Among all LIs Lucien is the one with the most loveless childhood and teenage years, the most important years in developing one’s psychological traits and during those years Lucien received alongside with Kiro the most blows. That resulted in him losing the connection to his emotions as a defense mechanism.

Another possibility might be him losing the connection to his emotions as a result of a chemical reaction in his brain due to excessive testing Black Swan objected him to. Lucien’s EVOL was created in a lab and he was the first man-made Evolver. Lucien is called various times a psychopath, because he shows signs of psychopathy such as lack of remorse, empathy or compassion. It is said that that kind of behavior might occur due to a misconnection between the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) and the amygdala. Considering the fact that Lucien’s parents were killed right in front of him and that he was both physically and psychologically abused for the coming years, this might have led him to experience an imbalance in his chemical balance. One might argue, that his altruistic actions in the orphanage are an evidence for his compassion, I think it is yet another disguise for his unethical ways of reaching his goals.

The Orchestrator

In all honesty no one is actively seeking alliances and keeps tabs on other’s actions for their agenda like Lucien does. Maybe Commander Leto but he mostly fails in drawing others to his side, because he is not able to speak in their pendants’ language or resonate with their perspective. Lucien, on the other hand, is gifted with an extraordinary ability to observe his surroundings and companions, making it very easy for him to talk to them in their terms and desires. Lucien doesn’t show much empathy, UNLESS, it contributes to his cause, in that case he can perfectly put himself in other’s shoes and plays them in such a meticulous way, that they join him willingly.

That is how Lucien directs MC successfully in entering the Black Cabin or in understanding the evolution core.

Lucien is not exactly a piece on a chess board, but is a player, who knows all the pieces very well, knows the rules of the game, has observed many games and took notes of how they all has turned out and therefore knows what kind of a game he is going to play. Just watch closely. how he co-operates with Kiro and the Black Queen. He knows that Kiro is using Black Swan for his goals, much like he does, so he uses his hacking abilities to access to information. The Black Queen is the initiator of everything in S1, so he makes sure to stay close to her. He knows that Victor is searching for MC and trying to understand the Evol gene, there he has an investor.

The Cool, Calm and Collected Type

in the MLQC universe, everyone loses their composure at one point or another, because...who wouldn’t? Time and space warps constantly and people are also changing their stances depending on the time-space constellation they find themselves in.

MC loses her cool almost on a daily basis, Gavin was in a constant haywire in the Daybreak era, Victor literally threw people into black holes in CH11 and freaked out as he saw the Black Queen for the first time and Kiro walks around in a bipolar state. So, everybody is pretty unstable due to understandable conditions but we never see Lucien lose his cool and this is one of his best qualities.

Here is the thing about Lucien. This guy is always at least one step ahead of everyone and he achieves this by two simple rules:

1) Acquire all possible information

2) Observe everyone and everything at all times

Why am I saying this? It lies in the basis of anxiety and angst. We humans tend to feel uncomfortable in the face of an uncertain situation, meaning in the wake of the unknown. MC is constantly anxious, because she doesn’t know what is going on, why is everyone after her, why is she blessed with the unconditional affection of 5 equally attractive men? (ehm, but not quite equally ehm *Gavin* hihi, sorry, Gavin-stan gotta Gavin-stan ^_^). Anyway you get the picture. Gavin went haywire in CH22 because he was pushed in a tight spot and therefore had angst. Same goes for Victor in CH11 his mind went blank as he saw history repeating itself and then in CH18 when he saw with his own eyes what could the girl of his dreams might become.

We don’t see Lucien in such deadlock situation though do we, and I think it is mainly because he is always prepared for every possibility and he can calculate them meticulously, because he possesses the largest chunk of information and also keeps tabs on everyone and everything that’s going on. So, when a crisis occurs he doesn’t freak out, sure he gets surprised at times, because the outcome of a a certain situation is the possibility, which he calculated to be no higher than 1% and yet there it is. But since he’s already took this into consideration, he has a plan. Combine this with his knowledge about the persons and organizations involved in the matter, then you have a calm Lucien, who is in control of the situation. Thus, he is calm. You can actually also bind this behavior of Lucien with that of a predator, whose movement are languid, is non-reactive and doesn’t mind turning his back to his opponents, since he doesn’t perceive them as a threat.

If this wasn’t enough, Lucien manages to joggle all of this without exposing himself. Even in the last stage of the play he never gets caught. Unless he willingly exposes himself, as in the case of revealing Ares to MC. MLQC actors can usually see through each other and use their weaknesses to meet their own ends. MC is obviously Gavin, Kiro and Victor’s weakness and their opponents can see this pretty easily. IT’s not quite the same with Lucien though and he doesn’t let himself be blackmailed or threatened by any weakness. He always keeps his cards close to his chest.

Considering the fact that Lucin is the least outstanding LI, this is pretty impressive. So I guess this makes him the embodiment of the phrase “still waters run deep”.

The Renaissance Man

Lucien is a man of science and aesthetics. Explaining phenomenons with associations and loading them with philosophical substance. He doesn’t necessarily perceive things bluntly as they are, but interprets them in a meaningful way. The way he associates MC with a butterfly, how he wants to entrap her in ajar, so she wouldn’t get away, alas taking the only resource of color in his life away. Not only that, but he can also break down the matters at hand to its fragments and can therefore work his way up from there. He is blessed with a strong deduction ability, so he can connect the dots easily, come to a conclusion and act accordingly. No doubt that the other guys have very good deduction abilities, but because Lucien always has a bit of an information more than them, he can find the solutions just a little bit faster in my opinion.

Reading is a necessity for his guy much like eating and drinking, Which is why we see him reframing events in the context of a certain story he’d read at some point in his life. With time, I will add here some of his quotes about certain situations to explain what I mean. Or even better, if you have some, that are evident in you opinion, you could add them in the comments. I really enjoy reading/hearing Lucien’s philosophical, scientific explanations to certain moments in MC’s life. They are always to the point and helpful.

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So this is my very first analysis on Lucien and I have to admit, I still have so many material to check on him, so if anything is missing please bear with me here :)

I was watching Joe’s Twitch while I wrote this, so there are many spelling, grammar mistakes, which will be corrected gradually.

This post will get better and better, scout promise!

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #mlqc simon #mlqc xumo #mlqc xu mo #mr. love queen's choice #I had to rewrite a large part of this because my PC #broke down #so this post will be edited around a 100 times #Im sorry

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a3hastakenovermylife · 4 years ago

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Ok, I really, really want some quality interaction between Kazunari and Taichi.

Like I know that we all joke about them because they’re our energetic, adorable, puppy pair, and yes, that is who they are on the surface. But, when you simplify their whole character arcs down to just that, you’re flattening their characters and you lose the depth that the game hints at for the both of them.

The game did a really great job at letting Taichi flush out a decent sized character arc, and concluded that story in a satisfying way during the Autumn Troupe arc. We see our sunshine boy upset, withdrawn, and separating himself from the others out of guilt. Then we see him distraught over the things he’s done and being comforted by Omi (honestly my favorite interaction in the whole series, second only to Juza and Banri high-fiving). Then we see him confessing to the others, and they all retell their portraits to one another, and Taichi finally gets to accept that he’s been forgiven, and more than that, that he’s been truly accepted into the troupe. For the first time, he gets to understand that he will get to act, he’s going to have the opportunity to do what he loves and he’s going to be able to do it with people he’s come to care so much about.

Taichi is in a much better place at the end of the Autumn Troupe arc, and we can see the potential for that to grow in the future. However, I do not feel like we get to nearly the same place with Kazunari.

With Kazunari, we begin to understand that he puts on a front with other people, that he acts all happy and tends to agree with everyone as to not ruffle any feathers. He’s never had a group of real friends before the Summer Troupe, and when confronted with the fact that he not only doesn’t have to pretend to be neutral, that his friends don't want him to be. Kazunari made some real progress here, he did stand tall and give his opinion, but he isn’t shown to make any other significant changes. Nor, can we tell whether this was a permanent change.

He’s still the same energetic Kazunari, friendly and fun-loving as always. I can’t help but feel like his character arc was left mostly incomplete, we know there's a problem, but we haven't taken many steps to fix it, nor does it seem like Kazu has had any change in attitude. He’s still bottling most of his emotions up, refusing to show anything other than his cheery smile.

Here’s where we get into some of my own characterization here, because as a freshmen art major myself, I know, I know, that college isn't easy. On top of all of that, trying to pretend that everything is fine, is like putting a band-aid on a stab wound. The longer you hold everything in, the more mentally isolated you make yourself. Even surrounded by kind, loving, caring people, you can feel totally alone. On top of that, place his pre-existing tendency to hide any and all of his real opinions and feelings, which isn't the kind of mental behavior you can fix overnight.

What you’re left with is a ticking time bomb.

No human being can be happy all the time. It's just not possible.

When a human being is upset, they will need help eventually. Especially, a college student, stepping out into the world for the first time on their own, a pseudo-adult who likes to pretend they've grown up already.

Kazunari needs that character arc of his to be finished, because right now, he's sitting in a limbo within which he can never truly be happy, or relaxed. Simply because he hasn’t taken the time to learn how to open up to his friends.

Now, here's where my Taichi and Kazu interaction comes in.

(Ok, I started this just as an idea post and lo and behold it became almost as long as a fic. This is literally just my word vomit, so I apologize in advance for any poor grammar, spelling mistakes, and unclear transitions that occur, but please enjoy and tell me if you want me to make this a proper fic)

Taichi has for the most part evolved through his character arc, he's in a good place now and is growing closer to everyone in the company. Meanwhile, Kazu seems to be falling out of sync with everyone, he’s way less chatty, he spends most of his time by himself, and while when he's actually in the room with them he is acting relatively normal. Every single time anybody asks him if something is bothering him, he laughs and brushes the concern off easily. However, his troupe mates can hear how forced the laugh sounds.

It’s something that happens over a few months, but Summer Troupe is very worried. They’ve taken to having weekly meetings in the common area while Kazu is doing his homework to try and puzzle out what’s been going on with him. The others share their concern as well, the point is that now the whole company is determined to get to the bottom of whatever is up with him.

I bet you anything that Omi notices the similarities right away. This is way to eerily similar to the way Taichi was acting during those last few weeks before everything came to light. He probably approaches Kazu to talk several times but is shut down at every turn by a forced laugh, or an easy excuse like ‘I’m just a bit tired.’ or ‘Just been super busy lately, that's all.’.

Taichi, himself, probably notices too, but he really doesn't want to stick his nose into something that felt so incredibly personal. He lets it go because he knows how helpful it was when his troupe mates let him talk out his troubles, and listened, and accepted him for all his faults. He feels if he buts in now, he’ll just take that opportunity from Kazu, and he’d never do something that.

The Summer Troupe keeps trying, and one night they all approach him at once, determined not to let this go until he fesses up. They all corner him in his room and start to ask questions, and Tenma and Yuki are almost certainly going to be coming off as being a bit harsh, but who can blame them Kazu has been worrying the both of them senseless for months, and neither of them are the type to mince their words.

Muku is especially emotional throughout the whole thing, he’s had a front row seat to this slow motion train-wreck this whole time, living in the same room as Kazu. He sees how late he stays up, and how often he gets no sleep at all, he's the one who sees the cracks beginning to form in the persona Kazu has built up for himself. He even mentions one particularly horrible night when Kazu was crying in his sleep. By that point though, Muku is relatively incomprehensible through his own crying.

Misumi is mostly watching, agreeing with the others, saying supportive words, but mostly standing aside, looking and feeling a little helpless.

This is Kazu’s breaking point. Kazu has been spiraling for months. It started with feeling horrible and stressed about his classes, then evolved to worrying about how he always hid that fact from the others, then to feeling guilty about being so dishonest about his feelings, then to feeling even more guilty about pushing them away when they were clearly worried and not being able to reciprocate their kindness with even the most basic courtesy of honesty.

Seeing all of them like this, pouring their hearts out to reach him, it just made him feel worse. He wanted them to understand, but some part of him was certain that they never could. That even if he could speak right then, that none of it could make them understand. There was also a traitorous part of his mind that heard Tenma’s frustrated shout and Yuki’s sarcastic drawl, and only hear accusation and condemnation.

He knew it was stupid, that his friends would never actually feel that way about him. He knew that.

That didn’t stop that little traitorous voice in his head from taking the steering wheel though, it didn’t stop it from completely taking over. He was on his feet and pushing past them out of the room before he even knew what he was doing. He vaguely recognized the feeling of someone grabbing a hold of his shoulder and he forcefully pulls away, running faster than he even knew he was capable of out of the dorm.

The voices calling for him to come back, concerned, worried, crying. Concern for him, and he can't even turn around to look at them, he can barely even hear them. He keeps running, longer than his body should have been able to run, faster than he ever thought possible. He tripped more than once and was left with scrapes from each time. The others tried to follow him, but in the darkness, it seems that none of them had succeeded.

Or maybe, the same voice whispered. They’ve just decided to give up on you.

Meanwhile, the Summer troupe meets back at the dorm, and they get the others to come help them look for Kazunari. To say the least, Summer Troupe is pretty distraught, all things considered. Muku is an even worse than he’d been earlier, having given up entirely on trying to talk, Yuki has made it his responsibility to keep Muku from falling over, having to prop him up through most of their search, and he’s become oddly quiet as he does so.

Misumi actually does cry for a few minuites for Kazu, he's so incredibly sad that he can’t seem to do anything to help. However, he doesn't let it keep him down. It's no more than five minutes before he stands up with a half-smile to help search for him again.

Tenma, is just oddly quiet, like way too quiet, more quiet than even Yuki. Only speaking in clipped one-word sentences, and mostly even then, only answering questions addressed to him. He's clearly frustrated, but more than that, he almost seems remorseful. By this point, he’s feeling pretty guilty and useless himself. He is the leader of this troupe after all, and it is his responsibility to take care of stuff like this isn’t it?

It’s early in the morning, and the whole company has been searching for hours when it starts to rain. It's at this point that the director just says that they should head back and get some sleep. Tenma does not take that order well. After a very loud and long argument with Tenma, the most that he’s spoken all night, he finally gives in when he sees the state the rest of his troupe is in, Muku has practically fainted already, Yuki was on the verge of tears himself and Misumi was just staring blankly into space dejectedly.

So, with that everyone heads back to the dorm to go to sleep.

------------

It’s only after they're back inside, dried off, and the lights are off that Taichi realizes that he can’t sleep. He was close with Kazu, they’d always meshed really well together and got along really well. When he’d seen a reflection of himself in Kazu, he'd let it go, and now he was really starting to regret it. He should have realized, that just because Taichi had had Omi to help him work up the courage to confess what he’d done to the rest of the troupe, and to help him sort out his feelings. Omi was practically an adult, he was so mature and always seemed to know what to do.

Summer Troupe didn't really have an Omi. Kazu was actually the oldest of the bunch of them. He should have spoken up sooner, tried to help Kazu through it, if he’d just said something earlier, the situation might not have gotten this far out of control. Taichi had desperately needed someone to give him the courage to speak up when he’d been in such a dark place and, something told him that Kazu needed the same thing, and that nothing would change at all until he got that much.

He might have school in a few hours, and it might still be raining, but Taichi honestly didn't care. He couldn't sit still any longer. He got up from the covers, and grabbed his jacket and was about to open the door to their room when he heard Omi sit up.

“You’re going to go look for Kazunari aren’t you?” He asked.

Taichi blinked and stammered, trying to come up with some other excuse, and epically failing. It was too hard to lie to Omi though, especially after everything that had happened between them. Omi just chuckled, and told him not to worry so much. Omi stood and opened his own closet, pulling out a spare backpack, and placing a large towel, an oversized poncho, and an umbrella in the bag, then handed it to Taichi. Then silently lead Taichi along to the kitchen, where he pulled out a large thurmace and heated up some hot cocoa to put inside, then handed that to Taichi as well.

“I think that you might be one of the only people who can get through to Kazunari, you realize that too don’t you?” Omi said softly, as to not wake the others. Taichi nodded emphatically, a little stunned that Omi was just letting him go no matter how irresponsible of an idea it was. “Alright, then. Good luck, and bring him home.”

Taichi nodded and just as soon as he had gotten outside he started running. It was still dark and rainy, but at least there were plenty of streetlights. He called out to Kazunari and he called and called. Mostly though, Taichi was looking, looking for any sign of a person, anywhere. By now, he was pretty sure that Kazu wasn’t going to reply to the call, but he did it anyway, just in case.

Eventually, about an hour in, his voice got raw and he needed to take a break. He stopped talking, and sat down on just some random street corner, not caring one bit that his pants were now wet.

It wasn't any good, he wasn't going to find him was he?

He sat dejectedly on the concrete, just listening to the rain and feeling his pants begin to get soggy. He didn't know how long he sat there before he heard it.

It was faint, so incredibly quiet, that even the light sound of raindrops nearly drowned it out entirely.

Yet, if he listened hard enough he heard crying. He hoped he wasn't just his desperation getting to him, making him hear things. He stood up eagerly anyway, staying silent and trying to follow the sound before it stopped. It was hard, really hard, and the sky was starting to lighten just a minuscule shade when he finally made it to the mouth of the alley.

There Kazu was, Taichi could just barely make out the top of his head poking out from behind a stack of abandoned boxes. He was absolutely drenched to the bone, there was no way he wasn't going to get sick after this. He was crying softly, his head ducked and his arms hugging himself.

Taichi carefully approached Kazu and found himself at a loss for a moment. The very last thing he wanted was for him to run off again, and he really didn't want to startle him either. What he settled on was taking the umbrella and the towel out, and holding the umbrella with one arm, while he dried Kazu’s head off to the best of his ability with only one arm to work with. Kazu stiffened but didn't move, his crying coming to an abrupt halt as he held his breath.

“Hey, Kazu. It’s just me, Taichi.”

Kazunari gave a shaky sigh of relief at his voice. “Damn, Tai-chan don’t scare me like that ok? Thought you were gonna mug me or something...” It was clear that Kazu was trying to put up his barriers again, and not quite managing it.

“Sorry, about that.” Taichi apologized, more than a little relieved that Kazunari had actually spoken to him right off the bat. That was farther than the rest of Summer Troupe had gotten. Taichi fumbled a bit before he decided to sit next to Kazu, after it seemed clear that he wasn’t too keen on moving.

Silence settled between the two of them, Kazu seemed to be trying desperately to reign his emotions back under control. Taichi was just trying to think of how to start this, what to say. He thought about how Omi had approached him, but something told Taichi that Kazu wouldn't connect well with that.

It didn't help that he had no idea why Kazu was so upset, or what had caused this, or if anything really had caused it. There might not be one cause. It was more than a little overwhelming, Taichi really really really didn't want to mess this up.

He couldn’t do nothing again though, that wasn't an option, he had to say something, anything.

He decided, to just say whatever came to mind. To say how he felt, and hope to every god out there that it reached him.

“You know, it’s impossible for a person to be happy all the time, don't you?” Taichi asked. Kazunari didn't respond, and Taichi decided that was ok. He’d just keep talking for now. “I won’t pretend that I know why you’re so upset, because I don’t. It’s ok if you don't really want to talk about it right now, I get it. Though, if you’re up to it, I would really appreciate it if you listened to my story.”

Taichi waited until he saw Kazunari nod, the other teen seemingly relaxing a bit beside him. Taichi smiled at the sight, and began to speak.

(Authors note: in this story only Autumn troupe and Yuki (+ the director) know about the fact that Taichi was a mole. Not because they're keeping secrets, just because the others never asked and nobody thought to tell them. Mostly, I don't know for sure if any of the others know, and I like to imagine that they don't know, or at least not the full story.)

Taichi essentially performed his portrait for Kazunari, by the end the other teen was actually looking up at him. Taichi continued though, even after his story normally ended.

“You see, whatever you feel so upset about, guilty about even, I doubt it'll be worse than the things I've done. Even if it is, I know that your troupe mates would listen and try their best to understand why. No matter what it is, no matter what might have happened. They care a lot about you, and the only reason they got so frustrated is because they hate seeing you hurting like this, they were only trying to help, you know...”

“Yeah, I know that...” Kazu looked away again. Though, this time he didn't curl in on himself like before, he leaned back and looked to the sky, which was already beginning to lighten in color. “How did you know I was feeling guilty?”

“I guess, I can just tell? I don't know, it's a bit freaky actually.” Taichi gave a nervous chuckle, then his expression softened a bit to match the sincerity in hie voice. “I saw your expression, and it was almost like I was looking in the mirror, I got this weird sense of de ja vu, and I could just tell. That probably doesn’t make any sense does it...”

“Never experienced it myself, but I get what you're talking about.” Kazu replied with a sigh, closing his eyes. The two of them stay quiet for a minute, Taichi got the feeling that Kazunari was just on the verge of telling him something, so he was patient, giving the other teen the chance to gather his thoughts.

“You know, hearing all that you just said, it almost makes me feel a bit silly. This is such a stupid thing to get so worked up over, ‘ya know.” Kazu shook his head at himself. “It’s always been stupid, and I’ve always known that but I can't help it. I’m always terrified of what others will think, if I don't keep a smile on my face. More than that, I’m so used to pushing all of my worries aside that I don’t even know how to face them anymore. I just ignore them, until I can’t anymore.” Kazu swallowed thickly, leaning forward again and running a hand through his still, thoroughly damp hair. “I don’t want to keep hiding my real feelings, it's just that each time I get even slightly uncomfortable, it's easier to just put the mask back on. I can’t help it, and that’s terrifying, ya know. I want the others to know when I’m stressed or upset, its not like I want to keep hiding it from them, but it never seems like the right time to let the facade fall. They're so used to me being happy, that I don't think they understand how much of it is fake. What happens when I let everything out, and they realize that I've been lying to them? Will they even be able to stand me, as I am now? They’re friends with the energetic, fun-loving Kazunari Miyoshi, not me. I don’t know if any of them have ever even met this side of me, I'm hardly even the same person. I really don’t want to ruin this place, I really really love it here. I’m happier living here than I've ever been in my life, I don’t know what I'd do if everything fell apart...” Kazu trailed off.

“I don’t think anything is going to fall apart, Kazu. Things’ll change a bunch, but nothing will be ruined. You don’t even need to do anything more than just explain this to your troupe. Even if they don’t get it at first, they’ll do everything they’re capable of to help you, I just know it. Also, I think that you’re more likely to push them away continuing on as you are, than you are if you just tried to explain.” “You don’t have to try and handle this all by yourself. Please, try and explain this to them. Trust me when I say that you’ll feel better afterwards.”

“You really think it’ll turn out alright?”

“I know it will.”

Kazunari gave a breathy chuckle. “How can you be so sure?”

Taichi smiled wanly and thought about earlier that evening...

“’The hell? How can you even say that?! You really expect me to just go back to the dorm when Kazunari is out here somewhere, all by himself! If we don't find him soon, who knows what’ll happen! Who know’s what’s already happened? He could have been mugged in an alley somewhere by now, and we’d have no idea!”

“Tenma...”

“I’m not going back.”

“Tenma, please stop and listen for a second. Everyone is exhausted, we aren’t going to make any progress like this. If we sleep for even an hour or two and get back to it, we’re more likely to find him, ok?”

“There’s nothing ‘ok’ about any of this!”

“Alright, maybe ‘ok’ wasn’t the right word for this situation, but Tenma...” The director leaned in to whisper something into Tenma’s ear. Immediately the teen star glanced over his shoulder and saw the state of his troupe mates and his stiff angered posture melted. Tenma silently nodded and sighed.

“I really fucked up this whole ‘troupe leader’ thing, didn’t I?”

“Kazu, your entire troupe is convinced that they've failed you in some way or another, especially Tenma-kun. He was so upset earlier that he actually started yelling at the director, like a real argument and not his usual antics. They want to help you more than anything else, and the entire company feels the same way. This isn’t because they want they want you to go back to how you were, its because you’re in pain and they want to help you. Whether that means that you stop putting on that mask entirely, or just start by learning not to rely on it too much, I know they'll be willing to support you no matter what you decide to do, so long as you’re beginning to get better.”

“I’m here too, if you ever want to talk to somebody who gets it a little better. It's hard being yourself, and it's easy to hide so you won't get hurt when someone rejects you. I get that, Kazu, and I do it too sometimes. So, if you need to talk to someone outside of your Troupe, and maybe even get advice on how to make them understand, I’m here too.”

“Kazu, you’ve got so many people waiting for you at home who want to help you, all you have to do is open up and let them. Try and help them understand, and let them do the rest. That’s all you can do, and I guarantee you, that nobody will be upset if you admit that you’re only human, that you can't be happy all the time. Nobody in the troupe has ever expected that of you, even if they’ve gotten used to your antics, they won't judge you for the fact that you can’t keep them up. The only thing, that you have to decide to do for them to accept you as you are, is to explain this to them. That’s all, and nobody can take that first step other than you.” Taichi said seriously.

“I also happen to know how hard it is to take that first step, by yourself. I had Omi to help me along, he pushed me to tell the others what I’d done, even when I was convinced they could never forgive me, and even that I didn't deserve to be forgiven. He’s the one that helped me take that first step, and I’d like to do that too, for you.” Taichi looked up at the sky which was rapidly changing to a much brighter shade of blue.

“The others will probably wake up again soon, if we head back now, we might catch them before they leave the dorm again. Please, let me take you home, so we can talk to your troupe mates and sort this all out. I know that probably sounds impossible right now, but I know you can do it, and I’ll be right by your side while you do it. So, what do you say?”

Kazunari sighed shakily and nodded, looking absolutely exhausted. “I think I can do it, if it's just my troupe and you I think I can try and explain all of this. I just hope they understand.”

Taichi grinned brightly, feeling a wash of relief rush over him. “Really?! Wow, thank you for trusting me Kazu!” He let out a short bark of laughter. “I’ll be honest, was really floundering there for a while. I didn't know what so say at all, I’m so glad I didn’t make things even worse...” Taichi let out a sigh of relief. “Sorry about that, I ended up just spewing my feelings all over you there....”

“You said all the right things Tai-chan, at least I think so. I feel a lot better, if you'll really be with me I think I can manage this. Even if I still don't know if this’ll turn out alright, I'm going to trust your judgement over mine on this one, because clearly my judgement is all out of wack, today...”. Kazunari paused and shook his head to himself. “Actually my judgment has been out of commission for a while now, I think. The point is, I cant really trust myself right now, so I'm going to trust you, ok?” Kazunari’s voice was a bit shaky, but he put some effort into sounding reassuring for Taichi’s sake.

———————— ok POV switch heh

Taichi blinked and stared blankly at Kazunari for a solid minute before he seemed to gather himself, the words finally having settled in. With a mighty sniff Taichi wiped his eyes and dashed away the tears that hadn’t even had the chance to fall. “Thanks Kazunari, that means a lot. I won’t let you down, I promise.” Taichi grinned brightly, his voice gaining a steelly determination behind it. Taichi then, handed Kazunari the umbrella to hold and turned to pull something from the backpack he’d been carrying. Kazunari stared as Taichi placed a thick plastic poncho on his lap and a large thurmace in his other hand and took the umbrella from Kazunari once again.

“You actually managed to run pretty far away from the dorm, so you should put that poncho on, and there’s hot cocoa that Omi made in there. Even if you don’t want to drink it, just open it and hold it. At least the heat will warm you up a bit.” Taichi said, and he almost sounded like director, the way he was fussing over him.

Kazunari was certain that his cheeks were flushed red, but he was equally sure that was only because he was freezing. It definitely wasn’t because he was embarrassed or anything.

“Hey do you want me to call us a ride? I think that might be better than walking all the way back. Plus, it’ll give them a heads up so nobody leaves to look for us.” Taichi asked, and Kazunari almost immediately shook his head.

“I’m soaked to the bone and I seriously don’t need a lecture from Sakyo for ruining the apoulstry of his car, right now.” Kazunari laughed at his own joke, too bad the joke was too close to the truth. He really didn’t want to soak up and ruin anyone’s car by getting inside it the way he was.

Taichi’s smile wavered, he didn’t laugh. Then he took out his phone and was engrossed in typing for a minute, before Kazu realized what he was doing. He propped himself up against the wall and stood, and was shocked to see how hard it was to do so. His vision almost immediately started blurring and darkening as Kazunari leaned against the wall for support.

“Hey, wait! I can walk I swear, don’t call anybody here, I’m fine!” Kazunari blurted just as he heard the message send.

“Sakyo isn’t the only adult in our troupe with a car, you know.” Taichi replied, a little softly. Then, he nervously tapped his foot for a moment before he made eye contact with Kazu again, and spoke. “You said that you were going to trust me earlier, didn’t you? You can’t get all the way home like you are now, and unfortunately, I’m not strong enough to carry you all the way back.”

Kazunari blinked, and sighed.

He did ask for this after all.

He however, refused to sit down. He was gonna lean right against that wall until the ride came, whoever they were. That thought didn’t last more than five minutes though. Kazunari blinked furiously to clear the spots from his vision to no avail. Then, sighed in defeat and leaned against the wall to slide back down to the asphalt.

Taichi gave him a concerned look and Kazunari tried to ignore it, it was just then he was saved by the appearance of a vehicle, and almost immediately Kazu recognized it as Itaru’s. The car parked and Itaru opened got out of the car to join them.

Kazunari had to look away, because a part of him still couldn’t stand the wave of guilt when he saw the worry in his gaze. So, he fiddled with the hem of his shirt, like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Thanks, Itaru, for coming to pick us up.” Taichi said extra cheerily, though there was a dash of genuine grstitude hidden in there.

“It’s no problem. I’m glad you asked me, the others were already waking up and getting restless. They were almost about to start searching for you again when you texted me.” Itaru said with a wan smile of his own. “So, let’s get you two back to the dorm. Do you need a hand there Kazunari?”

“Nah’ I’m fi-“. Kazunari was about to say when Taichi pulled him up and propped him up.

“Yeah, Kazu, my buddy, nobody is gonna fall for that.”

“Alright, ok!” Kazunari sighed, and said “I’m super woozy and can barely stand up, yes I’d love some help.” He was too tired to keep up with this. Let the others do what they want, he’s taking a nap when he gets in that car.

Kazunari could hear Itaru let out a relieved chuckle, Taichi did the same not long afterward. When did he close his eyes?

“Happy to help, then.” Itaru idly commented as Kazu heard a car door open, he was gently shuffled into what he assumed was the back seat and his head was definitely resting on Taichi’s shoulder.

Someone strapped his seatbelt on, he assumed it was Taichi, and he heard the drivers door open and admit someone as well, probably Itaru getting in.

Kazunari was definitely getting sleepy and the last thing he remembered hearing, he wasn’t even sure he was dreaming yet or not. But the last thing be remembered hearing, was Taichi whisper.

“Sleep well, everything will turn out ok, I promise it will.”

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forasecondtherewedwon · 4 years ago

Text

Fourth Coming

Fandom: The Wilds Rating: T Word Count: 2157

Summary: And on the twenty-third day, Nora ate goat and thought about love.

Nora sees the experiment through two lenses, like the red and blue acetate in those cheap 3D glasses. One lens is the scientific, the other is the brutal. When she puts these metaphorical glasses on, she’s just there, in the middle of it, but when she’s feeling particularly tired (understandably often) or just relaxed (inexplicably often—a fact to be concealed from the others), she shifts between the two views. Each is sharper alone than they are combined.

Scientific: counting the days; subtly taking her own inventory of the rations; monitoring Fatin’s dehydration, the commensurate level of distrust the rest of the group have for her.

Brutal: cold fingers in wet, black sand, disinterring Jeanette’s grave; Dot’s tumbling, shivering recount of spearing and battering a snake; ralphing, ralphing, ralphing bad mussels.

It isn’t until the goat that these contrary perspectives finally attain a kind of beautiful balance in Nora’s brain. And it isn’t her thoughts, or rereading one of her journal entries, that has her mental clouds clearing. Actually, it’s what Leah says. About barbecues and normalcy and the Fourth of July. Leah’s remark—possibly offhand, certainly poisonous, even if Nora can’t see how yet—gracelessly and unselfconsciously reveals the barbarism of order. A social gathering on the same day each year, centered around fire (fireworks, sure, but Nora is amazed by how dazzled people are by something not so very far advanced from what had the cavepeople oohing and awwing) and the cooking of meat. Ritual is the summit at which the scientific and the brutal join hands.

The day doesn’t matter. (Every day could have been June 29th and what difference would that have made for them on this island?) The conditions of their environment haven’t changed. (No major shift in the seasons or significant weather patterns, just the single freakish high tide.) The slaughter of the goat and the subsequent cookout should be put down to chance, Nora knows. Toni, Martha, and Shelby decided to look for food. Martha happened to find the goat. She happened to lay her hands on a tool that could do the job. She happened to be successful. And now, miraculous barbecue in honour of… what?

Nora’s sure that most of the girls would say the feast is in honour of themselves, their power, their survival. All of that would really put a spit-shine on Gretchen’s mission statement, but Nora’s not just an agent, a plant, a spy, a wolf in castaway’s clothing. She seeks to understand as much as she always has. She wonders if Shelby thanks god for the goat, or eats it as a form of praise. Nora constantly spots her toying with the cross on her necklace, frequently in a way that holds it far from her throat, almost like she’s thinking about ripping the necklace off and hurling it into the ocean. That would be going a bit far, but then, so is hacking your hair off because a brush got stuck.

Their ritual could be the sacrifice of another creature in the hopes of sparing themselves—a kind of desperate, gasping celebration. Privately, Nora decides they’re celebrating love. Leah’s persistent aura of tragic romance is part of the inspiration for that, but she isn’t part of either of the two developing relationships Nora’s been observing.

Martha’s picking at her goat meat glumly, so Nora rises and goes over to her. Her gait is unsteady on this sand and on these legs, weakened over the past two days of starvation, but it’s enough to carry her until she can slump down next to Martha. Sweet and strong, vulnerable and clearly capable (judging by the sizzle of fat dripping from the roasting goat leg and hitting the fire), Martha smiles when Nora joins her. Nora smiles back and that’s enough between them for a few minutes.

Nora watches the browned meat, nearly allowing herself to be hypnotized by the texture that urges her to sink her teeth in, the crispy spots she knows would taste incredible. But she can’t gorge herself; her stomach needs to be cool about what she’s already eaten or the chewed up goat goes the way of the slurped mussels Rachel found.

Carefully, Nora turns her head to study Martha. She decides that what this girl needs is the same thing Leah needed on Day 12 when she was sitting alone on the beach: some kind of dirty joke. Since she’s fresh out of filthy material of the Christmas variety, Nora tells Martha, “One second,” and heaves herself up again. She comes back dragging Marcus. He’ll be her muse, but it’s also a reunion of lovers.

“You two could get married,” Nora tells Martha. “Shelby said she was an ordained youth minister, remember?”

They laugh and it’s softer than the crackle of the fire. Nora likes that. The steady, rolling sound of their laughs together. How they taper off, unlike the ceaseless noise of breaking waves that drives Nora insane whenever she surfaces from her numbness to the sound. Like becoming conscious of your breathing and working like hell to stop noticing it, because having to purposefully regulate every breath is exhausting and terrifying.

Martha frowns a little in consideration, then half-smiles.

“Nah. I don’t know if I’m ready to commit like that. I think this could just be a fling. All those abs and he didn’t come help me haul that goat.”

“That’s true.” When Martha gazes at the mannequin, Nora assesses Marcus as well. “And it’s not like you’d want to keep him around because he gives great head.”

“He might’ve once,” Martha defends, brushing hair out of her face when a breeze kicks up, “but he gave so much head that there’s none left for me.”

They catch each other staring at the clean line where Marcus’s neck ends and nothing rests above it and trip into laughter again. Though Nora feels like she accomplished her dirty joke, Martha made it even better. People have underestimated her. Nora’s noted it from the start. It’s probably because Martha was injured. Group dynamics were established quickly and have formed and reformed in the days and weeks since, but Day 1 showed them the rawest version of who they are together and, before they knew about Jeanette, Martha was the weak one. Have the others seen her role evolve like Nora has? Are Nora’s observations anything special, really?

“This is totally not a judgement thing or anything,” Nora says, meaning it. “I was just wondering if you were maybe going to wash your clothes. Or change them.”

“Oh.”

Martha looks down at herself and now Nora’s glad she said something; it doesn’t seem like Martha was really aware that she’s been sitting here crusted in drying blood. Nora weighs the acceptability of a period joke and decides against it.

“You don’t have to,” she assures Martha, raising a gentle hand. “It just seemed like maybe the, uh, the slaughtering process? Was kind of a mindfuck?”

“Yeah.” Martha stares straight ahead and lets out a short laugh that Nora doesn’t join her in. “I’m glad Marcus wasn’t there to see. He might not’ve come back the same.”

Nora peers at her a moment, then resolves to just say what she’s thinking.

“Did you?”

Turning her head, Martha looks at Nora and her smile’s the same, but her eyes are different. No, Nora would write in the journal. The answer is plain. Maybe she’ll record it on paper later and maybe she won’t. Looking into Martha’s eyes, Nora knows she won’t need help remembering this.

“I’m just living my best life,” Martha tells her, batting the ends of her hair with her hand.

It sounds like something Fatin would say in this moment, or at least have printed on a t-shirt or something—it’s flip and glib—and for the very reason that it reminds Nora of Fatin, she’s certain that Martha not only means the silly words sincerely but that she feels the kind of truth in the trope, the mindfulness in the meme, that Fatin fights so hard to experience herself. Fatin is deeper than that ocean over there and Martha is a girl scooping out the sand in front of her mannequin boyfriend, digging him a sturdy trench to rest in so she can lean back against his factory-sculpted physique, painted in the blood of her first kill.

For whatever reason, Marcus is the man Martha wants. Nora can’t imagine him becoming anyone else’s property after all this is over.

“Do you want a lychee instead?” she offers. Martha’s flat-out ignoring her leaf-plate of meat now.

“Maybe in a minute.”

She turns her dreamy eyes away from where she’s rubbing a streak of dirt off Marcus’s bicep. Nora follows her gaze to Shelby, who seems to be counting out and partitioning the lychee haul, looking to Dot from time to time. Dot isn’t interfering, just giving encouraging nods when Shelby seeks them out. And of course Toni’s watching too.

“You think they’re telling the truth?” Nora inquires bluntly. “That whole ‘wrong turn in the woods’ story?”

Martha shrugs and says, “Yeah,” but Fatin scootches towards them, evidently drawn by the hum of gossip in the air.

“Are you talking about Toni and Shelby?” she asks, but it’s more of a demand. Her eyes are bright and excited, her mouth grinning, and Nora knows that a lot of that effect is thanks to their first meal in days, but it astounds her how socializing lights Fatin up as much as it used to shut Nora down.

“No,” Martha says quickly, but no faster than Nora’s flat, “Yes.”

“Dope. Yeah, those two are a hundred percent lying.”

“Are you sure?” Nora asks.

She’s not, but the cameras will be. Seeing the footage afterwards isn’t something she negotiated on when Gretchen made her part of the team. Speculation, though less scientific, is much more fun.

Fatin rolls her eyes like Nora’s questioning the laws of gravity. (She blinks and sees the poster of Newton. Sees Newton seeing the apple. Her throat closes up until she softly coughs it clear.)

“Definitely,” Fatin says. “Even if they were just out there all day picking fruit, it’s still the most sapphic thing I’ve ever heard. It’s, like, biblically sapphic.”

Martha laughs.

“Uhhh, sorry, which version of the Bible did you read?”

Nora smiles broadly and looks from Martha’s expression of brimming joy to Fatin’s concentrated delight. Like she’s on to something and whether or not she’s right is beside the point. That kind of approach makes Nora pleasantly dizzy. She remembers being little, standing at a department store perfume counter she couldn’t see over while her mom spritzed scents on her wrists that floated down to Nora’s nose. Fruit and flowers and anything and everything that could make the air beautiful when a woman walked into a room.

“None, but come on, there’s the garden, right? I know some shit. The marketing for this retreat was super Christian-centric anyway. We’re out here representing the fucking Dawn of Eve!” Fatin gestures triumphantly around at their dismal (except for the goat) camp. “If those two bitches weren’t getting their freak on under a fruit tree last night, I’ll eat my gold watch.”

Nora scrutinizes the girls in question.

“Shelby does look especially glowy today.”

“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s chronic sun damage,” Martha singsongs.

“Maybe it’s what Toni did to those mussels with her tongue,” Fatin acknowledges frankly, “because Shelby sure as hell didn’t borrow my hundred-dollar highlighter. That shit got swept out to sea.”

Fatin trains her eyes on Shelby while Martha watches Toni, and Nora watches both of them watch the others. When they switch subjects in a moment of unvoiced agreement, Toni jerks her head up and spots Fatin staring at her. The tender gazes she’s been throwing Shelby’s way over the low mound of red fruit tighten into suspicion.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” Toni barks, and a laugh sputters from Fatin as she raises her hands to show she means no harm.

“Ok,” Martha says to Fatin and Nora, giggling. “I see it now. Something happened between Shelby and Toni yesterday. Some kind of hunter-gatherer romance.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve taken the ‘hunter’ title away from Shelby,” Nora points out.

“Well, whatever. Gatherer-gatherer then.”

“With an island colony of all women, it was only a matter of time,” is Fatin’s pragmatic take. “Another couple weeks without an orgasm and I would’ve fucked Toni myself.”

“It wasn’t just time,” Martha scoffs, tipping her head to the side. “It’s love.”

“It’s both,” Nora says. She could prove it to them, flourish the statistics she’s been tracking in her journal. How those bald numbers lie there next to the drawings that spill to the edge of the page. She’s made bedfellows of data and emotions. She just sits there and grins at them. “It’s the aphrodisiacal influence of the Fourth of July.”

#my writing #The Wilds #Nora Reid #Martha Blackburn #Fatin Jadmani #Toni x Shelby #The Wilds fanfiction #The Wilds spoilers

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honey-makki · 4 years ago

Text

If It Could Have Been Me

Characters: Nishinoya Yuu X Fem!Reader

Summary: “Why do we desire, above all other things, that which has the greatest power to destroy us?”

Warnings: like two curse words

Song: the 1- taylor swift

Genre: angst, past loves

Word Count: 2k+

A/N: first and foremost i am a folklore gay. second i am so sorry for this i do not know why i was inclined to write 2k+ words of noya angst but i was, so here you go.

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Picking up your drink at the bar, you head back to the table with your friends. The sting of tequila isn’t completely covered by the ginger beer, but that’s your favorite part, the slight pain that comes with having fun. Laughing into your mug you muse on how that's been a common theme in your life. Sprained ankles from volleyball, getting a little too drunk at a party, stung by a jellyfish at the beach, and him.

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Saying that you met Nishinoya wouldn’t be completely accurate. He was late and running to practice, changing on the way after being hung up by his teacher. You were buried nose deep in your diary writing about your weekend plans. Were. You were looking at your diary but now you are on the ground laying next to a man who curiously was half dressed and had a tshirt stuck on his head. He turned, you think, to look at you and apologize but turned the wrong way. The absurdity of this situation reduced you to giggles which turned in deep laughter. You reached up to help him get his shirt on, but only after glimpsing over his toned body.

His brown eyes crinkled together, paired with a shining smile that matched yours. Jumping up, he reaches down to help you up. You take his hand and notice he already has your diary in his other hand. “Hi, uh, I’m sorry for running into you, especially when I wasn’t even fully dressed. My name is Nishinoya and I’m a third year. I have to run to volleyball practice but here is your diary.” The words seem to flow freely out of his mouth, getting increasingly faster as the sentence goes on. “I didn’t mean to see anything but I did see that you don’t have weekend plans, can I make this up to you by taking you out for coffee?”

You nod your head slowly, overwhelmed, and he smiles and scratches the back of his neck. “Cool, wanna meet at Sakanoshita Store at 11 tomorrow?” You haven’t stopped nodding but another smile encaptures your face. “Alright, I’ll see you then!” And with that he rushes off with a jump in his step

Realizing that you never gave him your name you called out, “Hey, Wait my name is Y/N. Y/N Y/LN!” He turns around, gives you a thumbs up and keeps running, narrowly missing a wall. With a laugh, you head on home, with the beat of your heart in your ears. He was a whirlwind and you were at his mercy already.

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You find yourself back at the bar, trying to get the bartender's attention. A tall, dark and annoying man on your left and short, loud and trashed one on your left. You just want a drink, not a man hitting on you, not a man touching you. The longer you are here the more alcohol you need, and by the time the bartender gets there you order the usual and a shot for both you and him with a wink. Lime chasing the burn of tequila in your throat, eyeing the bartender trying to decide if that was going to be your choice of pain tonight.

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Saturday rolls around, and suddenly it's 8pm. You two spent hours at the cafe laughing about embarrassing stories, talking about your dreams and soaking up everything you could about the other person. Noya leads you out by the hand at closing time, not wanting the day to end but not having an excuse to stay with you.

You take the lead pulling him down the road skipping, surprisingly enough he joins in until you reach a stop at a park. The fountain lit faintly with lights, the playground dark and the place was utterly empty. You both started blush with that realization but neither of you notice the other since you are too nervous to look. You might have learned about his dreams today, but it was light, it was populated and it was not as personal as this.

You let go of his hand and head over to the swings on the playground. Once you sit, you see Noya still standing there in front of the fountain, “Hey, Noya, wanna push me on the swing?” you call a little louder than you probably needed to for how silent the park is.

He turns around with a grin, “I would be honored to push you on the swing, Y/N”. another hour passes of y’all taking turns pushing each other on the swing and eventually settling into two individual ones. The tension seems to be building between the two of you as the night draws to a close, he gets up from his swing, and before you can follow, his hands grip the chains and he leans down to look at you. “Hey, Y/N, I’m really happy you agreed to come out with me today,” giggling he adds, “there isn’t anyone else I would have wanted to run into in the hallway.”

Looking up at him you feel warm, you don’t think it's due to a blush, but rather just happiness that you have from being around him. The light he radiates makes the park seem like 4 in the afternoon, not 9pm. Wanting to reciprocate the feeling, but having a lump in your throat, you reach up, brushing his blond bangs out of his eyes and rest your hands on his cheeks. Your hands warm up the longer they are there due to his maddeningly adorable blush. You take the opportunity to lean up for a chaste kiss.

After an embarrassingly long time kissing at the swings, you head back over to the fountain on your way out of the park. You reach in your purse for some pennies, giving him one and retaining one in your hand. “Close your eyes and make your wish and then toss it in. It’ll come true if you believe hard enough” you whisper more to yourself than him. I hope that Noya and I love each other one day. Little did you know that this wish wasn’t precise enough.

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Fists buried in the sheets, eyes blown out, chasing your high. Well, that’s what you are pretending is happening, but really the bartender just wants to get his dick wet with little regard for the other party involved. Tired of acting, you manage to flip him over, and ride him until you reach orgasm. The orgasm wasn’t even worth the amount of effort that was involved, you think about while getting dressed to leave. Bruises are already starting to form on your hips, muscles tight, but hey, what is a little bit of fun without some pain?

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Every date you went on with Noya ended with you at a park, throwing pennies in the fountain. Your wish evolved over time as did your relationship. You didn’t even realize your feelings until you wished to stay in love. The penny plopping into water pulled you out of your mind and you immediately turned to him. Words tumbling out of your mouth, genuine but nervous, “Hey babe, I love you. It’s ok you don’t have to say it back right now, but I would feel weird realizing it here and not saying it. This place just seems special--.”

He cuts you off with a deep kiss, something that feels different. Passionate, warm, all encompassing.Your bodies are flush together, arms around waists, hands in hair, mouth on mouth. His love is almost blinding, hot to the touch, but you can’t get enough. He’s the sun and you are a planet, dependent on each other for purpose.

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The next morning you get a call from Kiyoko asking if you would be her Maid of Honor. With a tired smile, you muster all the enthusiasm you can and agree stating that you would love to do so and look forward to helping with any preparations. You’ve never heard Kiyoko have as much enthusiasm and nerves as she did on that call. Helping her and standing there with her will be one of your life’s greatest honors but it hurts knowing she’s marrying Tanaka and that you’ll have to see him. Hell, if your friendship with Tanaka is consistent, then Noya will probably be the best man, with that thought and a deep groan you roll back over to sleep off your hangover and regret for last night.

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Months with Nishinoya fly by faster than you expected. Its dizzying, its deep, its reckless, its fearless, its love. Getting kicked out of theaters for being too loud, playing pranks on mutual friends, late nights spent under the stars together. Deep love isn’t easy love. There are arguments about the time, or lack of, that you spend together, about the future, about how serious this is. Do you have congruent dreams? Do you respect each other in the same way? Do you think they are the one?

One night, you are standing in front of the playground from your first date, tears streaming down your face, his already dried and looking frustrated now. Words soaked in anger, edging on vitriol flowing out of your mouth, “How the fuck do you expect me to feel when we haven't had time to hang out in 2 weeks, you barely respond to my texts and I see you studying with someone that you know has a massive crush on you?” Just thinking about it, you start shaking your head out of anger, “I’m the top of our class! I’ve always helped you with any assignments or concepts and you know I don’t mind. So why were you with her?”

“Y/N you know that we’ve been prepping for nationals and as vice captain, I have additional duties. I didn't want the only time we spent together to be you tutoring me. I don’t want you to think less of me because I’m not as smart as you,” his voice with increasing ire and face is red. You aren't sure if it's out of embarrassment or anger, but you know that you never want him to feel either of those things when he's with you.

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Between preparations for the wedding and your heavy workload, you've been so busy that you barely have time to think. You wish you didn’t have any time to think because every spare moment is spent in your favorite memories. Nights with Noya under the stars, in the parks, screaming to the music in your car, cheering him on at nationals. We were something and boy it would still be fun if you would've been the one, you reflect while putting together centerpieces for the reception in Kiyoko’s living room.

Not wanting to be too obvious, you ask Kiyoko about the bridal party and what each of them are up to, starting with the bridesmaids. When he is the only one left you let out a small laugh and say, “I bet he’s up to some cool shit, still taking every day as an adventure.” Kiyoko looks at your wistful smile, eyes lost in memories, on the brink of a few tears. She knows what happened. She knows that your love was deep, it was enviable, edging on brutal and it burned brighter than the brightest star.

She also knows how it wasn’t meant to be. That to you two, to love is to destroy and in that destruction you felt truly alive. The passion you felt slowly consumed both of you until there was nothing left. Your love couldn’t be contained, and it was just something that neither of you wanted to fight hard enough for. He wasn’t the one but that didn’t matter in the moment because, humans will destroy themselves before they will recognize a simple truth.

Your desire for the things that have the power to ruin you is barely managed by the passage of time. The further away he is, the easier it is to push the memories down just past the point of wanting to create new memories, to being nostalgic about the old ones. you have no regrets about the time you spent with him, except that your last wish in the fountain wasn’t I wish Nishinoya was the one.

Tags: @lydzisanerd @shiggywiggy @nonexistent-social-life

#nishinoya yuu #nishinoya #yuu nishinoya #nishinoya x you #nishinoya x reader #noya x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu nishinoya #hq #hq!!#haikyuu fanfiction #nishinoya fanfiction #kristen writes #taylor swift #the 1 #folklore #folklore series

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