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yennas-stuff · 6 months ago

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There’s this one e/riel who recently said “azriel was loyal to the mor for hundreds of years and he hadn't even gotten confirmation she liked him back so what makes y'all think he's about to be giving up on elain anytime soon Imfao” and then another one replied “And that man is evidently more down bad for Elain than he ever was with Mor so imagine at least another 500+ years of yearning for Elain. He physically can't stay away”

Rhys asked Azriel about Mor and wasn’t able to respond. Didn’t tell Rhys that he doesn’t love her anymore, doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, or is starting to get over her, and I think that’s why Rhys acted the way he did, because Azriel wasn’t able to give an answer, but if Az did give off the slightest hint of having genuine feelings for Elain then Rhys would’ve acted differently and likely would’ve told Az to wait for Elain to break the mating bond with Lucien or to be patient. And Azriel being “evidently more down bad for Elain than he ever was with Mor” is so funny to me. All we got with Az & Elain in his chapter was lust and jealousy when Sarah could’ve put something that showed romantic interest (genuine feelings) but didn’t. It would’ve been easy for her to do so. Lust doesn’t mean love. Sexual attraction isn’t that deep. There’s nothing wrong with the sexual attraction, but him not being able to plan beyond his fantasies and his self loathing toward himself wasn’t okay. That’s the problem I and others have. How he talked about himself was very unhealthy. There were actually people who did ship e/riel but stopped after reading the bonus chapter/acosf, and that’s saying something.

If Mor showed the slightest interest in Azriel or told him she wanted to be with him, then I 100% believe he would leave Elain for Mor. I don’t think he’s completely over Mor, but I do think he’s slowly starting to move on from her and has accepted that it’s never going to happen, and Elain is his rebound just like he is Elain’s rebound for Graysen. I think Az is jealous because everyone around him is getting into relationships/mates and is becoming happy. Rhys says in the third book that Az spent years waiting for a mating bond to snap between him and Mor. He wants a mate and is jealous because he doesn’t have one.

Lovely Anon, agreed 10000%. Thank you for the message. Great points were made.

I think Azriel just latches on to something he considers a pure and perfect embodiment of femininity. Maybe I am reading into it too much, but I don't really think it was love he felt for Mor. I think it was a combination of lust and platonic love. I think he wants to feel some of that purity and perfection, for it to rid him of his *sins* or wrongdoings.

If a female like that loved him, it would mean that he is good. But at the same time, he feels as if his touch was taking away some of that purity he assigned to Mor or Elain. We don't need to even get into it to know it's not healthy.

Also, I've never felt like him being down bad for 500 years was romantic or a good thing. It was not reciprocated or appreciated by Mor. It seems very self-destructive. At some point you need to actively look for happiness somewhere else. And I dont see him being more down bad for Elain than for Mor. Its been just a year and he's been avoiding her. With Mor he actually spent time with her. And as you wrote, he waited because he wants a MATE. He is so laserfocused on that. He doesn't even entertain pursuing anyone without thinking about bonds. Even when he knows that Elain already has one. He still thinks about it instead of how he feels ABOUT HER as a person. Just about having sex with her, which we know... means nothing (Nesta in the beginning of acosf).

We could get some deep loving words from Azriel about Elain when he was talking with Rhys but alas...

His mate obsession just shifted from Mor to Elain. But he knows she's already taken, which makes it impossible and more painful for him, which he probably thinks he deserves. Sad.

How sad it would be to always have this 3rd person in your relationship (Lucien)? He would probably think about him way too much and let these bad thoughts brew. Comparing himself and whatnot.

I hope he finds his happiness when he least expects it, he he. 💖 And for him to learn how true love feels. With no space for these self-deprecating feelings.

(These are just some thoughts my bestie, and I shared about Azriel and his state of mind. We might be talking crap, so if you don't agree, Im open to hear you all out).

#anti e/riel #gwynriel #azriel

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doodler16 · 2 days ago

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my new years resolution is to block everything having to do with vivziepop for the sake of my mental health after being a on and off fan whos stuck it out since 2019, and i think i feel so bad about it, because i still feel this deep sense of injustice at everything viv has gotten away with. im left with all this knowledge of her misdeeds, (the playbill BS where she wouldnt be honest about the delays on twitter, the one website she cant seem to stop using, her near nepo baby origins she lies about, the ghost fuckers millie suicide attempt leak, her lying about hh being delayed because of the 2023 hollywood strikes, the multiple taxidermy peacocks, viv asking her own crew for money for the $5000 lackadaisy producer donation where mel implies it was a "group effort" in a deleted tweet, all the people shes screwed over like dave and ashley and ken and kyra and erin, the recent livestream signing she deleted just a day afterwards for seemingly no reason, the transphobia screenshots even though i KNOW thats her, she posted a discord light mode screenshot with her and sam talking about how no one knew what she meant with that same exact pfp on her twitter after she announced they could finally release queen bee, and now you cant even find it easily because of her privating her twitter,) that i cant do ANYTHING about since fans dont care and youtubers dont care because *lyle lipton voice* Money, and can only hope that when these shows are closer to their end in 4 to 6 years from now, that someone with a platform can talk about this growing pile of evidence that shows that she might not be a great person after all. its just a burden to carry at this point. fan content doesnt make me happy, rewrites dont make me happy, and even critique i AGREE WITH doesnt make me happy anymore, because a majority of people refuse to address the ROOT of these issues due to a "separate the art from the artist" mentality, even though with how much creative control she has over these projects, i think its near impossible to do that. and i do truly think the root of all of them is viv and no one else, im sorry to say, even if that does sound like a personal attack like SC says. (genuinely, why would that be a personal attack? and even if it is, why should i care? since viv is 10 times richer then most people like me will ever be anyway? cant she just turn her phone off and buy herself more things to make her happy and show off on her insta, instead of learning how to make sincere connections like the average person does when they dont have that much disposable income?) maybe people will eventually catch onto this stuff. maybe they wont. but it wont be my problem anymore, and i'll avoid spindlehorse like the plague until i can binge watch everything in one fell swoop, instead of waiting with baited breath for something i know will inevitably disappoint me. but i wish the best of luck to anyone who will stay for the ride into the new year and beyond until it finally ends!

Happy new year! Wait, she lied about Hazbin Hotel being delayed because of Hollywood strikes and her nepo baby experience? Oof. Regardless, you are valid for feeling this way and I don’t blame you for being upset. It might take a while for most people to completely realize Vivziepop’s patterns and behaviors. There are people such as Ayy Lmao who have a big platform will defend Vivziepop.

#vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #anonymous

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blessedarethebinarybreakers · 11 months ago

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(I’m popping a extra disclaimer here because I don’t know if I worded this very well, and I understand if this isnt the kind if question you feel comfortable answering, but this is a genuine question made in good faith. I also apologise if this sounds really stupid)

I read one of your recent asks about inclusivism and it reminded me of something that always sat in the back of my mind with this train of thought.

If we say that everyone regardless of religion, or absence of it, gets into heaven, doesn’t that seem disrespectful to their faith. By saying that people of other religions get into christian heaven, is that not inadvertently telling them that their religion or their gods are fake, and that when they die it’ll be okay because they’ll learn the real truth? I hope this doesn’t come across as blunt or disrespectful to anyone, I’ve just never be able to come to a conclusion that isn’t exclusive (which is kind of a depressing thought), but is also respectful. Because it’s a beautiful idea that god loves us all regardless of who we are or what we believe, but what about people who have the kind of faith we do in a completely different god, or multiple gods, do they have the same thoughts about us? that their god loves us even though we dont believe?

I feel like I’m asking questions I’m not supposed to but I’m just really curious about your perspective if this is something you’re comfortable answering.

Hey anon, this is an important question, so thanks for asking it! You don't sound "stupid"; you're thinking like a theologian :) I'm probably not going to do it justice, I'm afraid, but maybe folks will hop on with more ideas or resources?

This got really long, so the TL;DR: I agree with you, and so do a lot of theologians and other thinkers!

In a religiously diverse world, it makes sense that people of various religions ponder where people outside their religions "fit" in their understanding of both the present world and whatever form of afterlife they have.

If someone has a firm personal belief in certain things taking place after death (from heaven to reincarnation), I don't think it's inherently wrong to imagine all kinds of people joining them in that experience, when it points to how that person recognizes the inherent holiness and value of all kinds of people, and shows that they long for continued community with & flourishing for those people.

However, this contemplation should be done with great care — especially when your religion is the dominant one in your culture; especially if your religion has a long history (and/or present) of colonialism and coerced conversions.

Ultimately, humility and openness are key! It's fine to have your own beliefs about humanity's place in this life and after death, but make yourself mindful of your own limited perspective. Accept you might be wrong in part or in whole! And be open to learning from others' ideas, and truly listening to them if they say something in your ideas has caused them or their community tangible harm.

In the rest of this post, I'll focus on a Christian perspective and keep grappling with how to consider these questions while honoring both one's personal faith and people all religions...without coming to any solid conclusions (sorry, but I don't think there's any one-size-fits-all or fully satisfying answer!).

I'll talk a bit about inclusivism and how it fails pretty miserably in this regard, and point towards religious pluralism as a possibly better (tho still imperfect) option.

And as usual I'll say I highly recommend Barbara Brown Taylor's book Holy Envy: Finding God in the Faith of Others to any Christians / cultural Christians who want to learn more about entering into mutual relationship with people of other religions.

In previous posts, I brought up the concepts of exclusivism, inclusivism, and religious pluralism without digging into their academic definitions and histories — partially because it's A Lot for a tumblr post, but also because it's by no means in my sphere of expertise. I worried about misrepresenting any viewpoint if I tried to get all academic, so I just stuck to my own personal opinions instead — but looking back at some posts, I see I didn't do a great job of clarifying that's what I was doing!

So now I'll go into what scholars mean when talking about these different viewpoints, with a huge caveat that I'm not an expert; I'm just drawing from notes and foggy memories from old seminary classes + this article from the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy (IEP), and anyone interested in learning more should find scholarly articles or books rather than relying on some guy on tumblr!

Defining exclusivism, inclusivism, & religious pluralism

When we encounter traditions that offer differing and often conflicting "accounts of the nature of both mundane and supramundane reality, of the ultimate ends of human beings, and of the ways to achieve those ends" (IEP), how do we respond? Do we focus on difference and reject any truth in their views that conflicts with our views? Do we avoid looking too closely at the places we differ? try to find common ground? try to make their views fit ours?

Exclusivism, inclusivism, and religious pluralism are three categories into which we can place various responses to the reality of religious diversity.

It's important to note that this is only one categorization system one can use, and that these categories were developed within a Western, Christian context (by a guy named Alan Race in 1983). They are meant to be usable by persons of any religion — all sorts of people ask these questions about how their beliefs relate to others' beliefs — but largely do skew towards a Western, Christian way of understanding religion. (For one thing, there's a strong focus on salvation / afterlife and not all religions emphasize that stuff very much, if at all!)

Drawing primarily from this article on the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy (IEP), here are basic definitions of each:

Exclusivist positions maintain that "only one set of belief claims or practices can ultimately be true or correct (in most cases, those of the one holding the position). A Christian exclusivist would therefore hold that the beliefs of non-Christians (and perhaps even Christians of other denominations) are in some way flawed, if not wholly false..." . (From my old class notes — Exclusivist Christians believe 3 things are non-negotiable: the unique authority of Jesus Christ as the apex of revelation; Jesus as normative; salvation exclusively through repentance and faith in Christ's work on the cross. Some will allow that God does provide some truths about Godself and humanity through general revelation, including truths found in other religious traditions, but the Biggest most Important revelation is still Jesus.) .

Inclusivist positions "recognize the possibility that more than one religious tradition can contain elements that are true or efficacious, while at the same time hold that only one tradition expresses ultimate religious truth most completely." . Christian inclusivists tend to focus on salvation, claiming that non-Christians can still achieve salvation — still through Jesus Christ. Sometimes they hold that any non-Christian whose life happens to fit Jesus's call to love God and neighbor, etc., will be saved. Other times they hold that only non-Christians who never had the chance to learn about Jesus can be saved; if you know about Christianity and reject it, it doesn't matter how "good"you are, you're doomed. .

Pluralist positions hold that "more than one set of beliefs or practices can be, at least partially and perhaps wholly, true or correct simultaneously." For Christian pluralists, that means believing that Jesus is not the one Way to God / to heaven/salvation; Christianity is one way of many, usually conceived of as all being on equal footing, to connect to the Divine. .

(These three categories are not all encompassing; the IEP article also brings up relativism and skepticism.)

Issues with Exclusivism & Inclusivism

I hope the issues with exclusivism are clear, but to name a few:

Christians who are taught that all non-Christians (or even the "wrong kind" of Christians) are doomed to hell are taught to see those people as Projects more than people — there's a perceived urgent need to convert them asap in order to "save them." The only kind of relationship you'd form with one of them is centered in efforts to convert them, rather than to live and learn alongside them as they are.

Doesn't matter if they are already happily committed to a different religion. In your eyes, they're wrong about feeling fulfilled and connected to the Divine.

Doesn't matter if you have to resort to violent and coercive practices like wiping out all signs of non-Christian culture or kidnapping non-Christian children to raise Christian — the ends justify the means because you're looking out for their "immortal souls."

...But what about inclusivism? If you're a Christian inclusivist, you aren't forcing anyone to convert to Christianity right now! You acknowledge that non-Christians can live holy and fulfilling lives! You even acknowledge that there's scraps of value in their valid-but-not-as-valid-as-Christianity religions! So what's the problem?

Turns out that this is a major case of one's good intentions not being nearly as important as one's impact.

You may be pushing back against exclusivism's outright refusal that non-Christians have any connection to the divine at all, which is nice and all — but by saying that non-Christians will basically become Christian after they die, you are still perpetuating our long history of coercive conversions.

There's a reason some scholars argue that inclusivism isn't actually a separate category from, but a sub-category of, exclusivism: you're still saying everyone has to be Christian, "so luckily you'll See The Light and become Christian after you die :)"

This is very reasonably offensive to many non-Christians. If nothing else, it's ludicrously smug and paternalistic! I won't get into it here but it only gets worse when some inclusivist positions try to get all Darwinian and start arranging religions from lower to higher, with Christianity as the "evolutionary" apex of religion ://

For now, I'll only go into detail about Catholic Jesuit theologian Karl Rahner's particular version of inclusivism, because it's quite common and really highlights the paternalism:

Rahner's Anonymous Christians:

A question that Catholics and other Christians struggled with in the 20th century was this: If non-Christians cannot be saved (because they held firm in believing that salvation must be in and through Christ), what happens if someone never even had the chance to learn about Christianity? Surely a loving God wouldn't write them an automatic ticket to hell when they're non-Christian through no fault of their own, right?

German Jesuit Karl Rahner's response was to conceive of a sort of abstract version of Christianity for non-Christians who lived good, faithful lives outside of official (what he called "constituted") Christianity:

"Anonymous Christianity means that a person lives in the grace of God and attains salvation outside of explicitly constituted Christianity. ...Let us say, a Buddhist monk…who, because he follows his conscience, attains salvation and lives in the grace of God; of him I must say that he is an anonymous Christian; if not, I would have to presuppose that there is a genuine path to salvation that really attains that goal, but that simply has nothing to do with Jesus Christ. But I cannot do that. And so, if I hold if everyone depends upon Jesus Christ for salvation, and if at the same time I hold that many live in the world who have not expressly recognized Jesus Christ, then there remains in my opinion nothing else but to take up this postulate of an anonymous Christianity." - Karl Rahner in Dialogue (1986), p. 135.

So someone who has intentionally devoted themselves to another religion, someone who does good work in that religion's name, is...secretly, unbeknownst to them, actually Christian?

I hope the offensiveness of that is clear — the condescension in implying these people are ignorant of what religion they "really" belong to! the assumption that Good deeds & virtues are always inherently Christian deeds & virtues! the arrogance of being so sure your own religion is The One Right Way that you have to construct a "back door" (as Hans Küng describes it) into it to shove in all these poor people who for whatever reason can't or don't choose to join it!

One theologian who criticized the paternalism of "anonymous Christianity" is John Hick, who was one of the big advocates for religious pluralism as a more respectful way of understanding non-Christian religions. So let's finally talk some more about pluralism!

Religious Pluralism!

As defined earlier, religious pluralist positions hold that there are many paths to the divine, and that all religions have access to some truths about the divine.

For Christians, this means rejecting those 3 non-negotiables of exclusionists about Christianity being the one true religion and Jesus being the one path to salvation. Instead of claiming that Christianity is the "most advanced" religion, pluralism claims that Christianity is just one religion among many, with no unique claim on the truth.

Some other pluralist points:

Pluralism resists antisemitic claims that Christianity is the "fulfillment" of (or that it "supercedes") Judaism.

Various religions provide independent access to salvation rather than everyone's salvation relying on Christ. (Note the still very Christian-skewed lens here in emphasizing salvation at all though!)

When we notice how different religions' truth claims conflict with one another, pluralists reconcile this by talking about how one's experience of truth is subjective.

Pluralism tends to give more authority to human experience than sacred texts

John Hicks' pluralist position

I mentioned before that Hicks is one of the big names in the religious pluralism scene. The IEP article I drew from earlier goes into much greater detail about his views and responses to it in the section titled "c. John Hick: the Pluralistic Hypothesis," but for a brief overview:

His central claim is that "diverse religious traditions have emerged as various finite, historical responses to a single transcendent, ultimate, divine reality. The diversity of traditions (and the belief claims they contain) is a product of the diversity of religious experiences among individuals and groups throughout history, and the various interpretations given to these experiences."

"As for the content of particular belief claims, Hick understands the personal deities of those traditions that posit them...as personae of the Real, explicitly invoking the connotation of a theatrical mask in the Latin word persona."

"Hick claims that all religious understandings of the Real are on equal footing insofar as they can only offer limited, phenomenal representations of transcendent truth."

We must accept that world religions are fundamentally different from each other, rather than falling into platitudes about how "we're all the same deep down"

Each religion has its own particular and comprehensive framework for understanding the world and human experience (i.e. we shouldn't use the normative Christian framework to describe other faiths)

Another angle: hospitality

As various philosophers and theologians have responded to and expanded upon pluralist frameworks, one big concept that some emphasize is hospitality: that all of us regardless of religion have an obligation to welcome others to all that is ours, if and when they have need of it — especially when they are of different cultures or religions from us.

Hospitality requires respect for those under our care, honoring and protecting their differences.

When we are the ones in need of hospitality, we should be able to expect the same.

Hospitality implies being able to anticipate our guest's needs, but we need to accept the impossibility of being able to guess every need, so communication is key!

Liberation theology & Pluralism

I also appreciate what liberation theologians have brought into the discussion. Here's from the IEP article:

"Liberation theology, which advocates a religious duty to aid those who are poor or suffering other forms of inequality and oppression, has had a significant influence on recent discussions of pluralism. The struggle against oppression can be seen as providing an enterprise in which members of diverse religious traditions can come together in solidarity.

"Paul F. Knitter, whose work serves as a prominent theological synthesis of liberation and pluralist perspectives, argues that engaging in interreligious dialogue is part and parcel of the ethical responsibility at the heart of liberation theology. He maintains not only that any liberation theology ought to be pluralistic, but also that any adequate theory of religious pluralism ought to include an ethical dimension oriented toward the goal of resisting injustice and oppression.

"Knitter claims that, if members of diverse religions are interested (as they should be) in encountering each other in dialogue and resolving their conflicts, this can only be done on the basis of some common ground. ..."

Knitter sees suffering as that common ground: "Suffering provides a common cause with which diverse religious traditions are concerned and towards which they can come together to craft a common agenda. Particular instances of suffering will, of course, differ from each other in their causes and effects; likewise, the practical details of work to alleviate suffering will almost necessarily be fleshed out differently by different religions, at different times and in different places. Nevertheless, Knitter maintains that suffering itself is a cross-cultural and universal phenomenon and should thus serve as the reference point for a practical religious pluralism. Confronting suffering will naturally give rise to solidarity, and pluralist respect and understanding can emerge from there."

Knitter also sees the planet as a source of literal common ground for us all: "Earth not only serves as a common physical location for all religious traditions, but it also provides these traditions with what Knitter calls a 'common cosmological story' (1995, p. 119). ...Knitter makes a case that different religious traditions share an ecological responsibility and that awareness of this shared responsibility, as it continues to emerge, can also serve as a basis for mutual understanding."

When Knitter and other liberation theologians speak of suffering or earth care as rallying points for interreligious solidarity, it's important to point out that such solidarity doesn't happen automatically: it is something we have to choose to commit to. We have to be courageous about challenging those who would pin suffering on another religious or cultural group. We have to be courageous about having difficult conversations, again and again. We have to learn how to work together for common goals even while accepting where we differ.

How to end this long ass post?

My hope is that as you read (or skimmed) all this, you were thinking about your own personal beliefs: where, if anywhere, do they fit among all these ideas? where would you like them to fit?

And, in the end, did I really address anon's question about whether it's disrespectful to people of other religions to assert that everyone is loved by God, or gets into heaven? Not really, because I don't know. I think it probably depends on context, and how one puts it, and how certain one acts about their ideas about God and heaven.

For me, it always comes down to humility about my own limited perspective, even while asserting that we all have a right to our personal beliefs, including ideas about what comes after this life.

When I imagine all human beings together in whatever comes next, I hope I do so not out of a desire for assimilation into my religion, but a desire to continue to learn from and alongside all kinds of people and beliefs. I hope I remain open to learning about how other people envision both what comes after death, and more importantly, what they think about life here and now. What can I learn from them about truth, kindness, justice? How can we work together to achieve those things for all creation, despite and in and through our differences?

I'll end with Eboo Patel's description of religious pluralism, which sums up much of how I feel, from his memoir Acts of Faith: The Story of an American Muslim:

"Religious pluralism is neither mere coexistence nor forced consensus. It is a form of proactive cooperation that affirms the identities of the constituent communities while emphasizing that the wellbeing of each and all depends on the health of the whole. It is the belief that the common good is best served when each community has a chance to make its unique contribution."

___

Further resources:

Explore my #religious pluralism tag for more thoughts and quotes

You might also enjoy wandering through my #interfaith tag

Two podcast episodes that draw from Eboo Patel, Barbara Brown Taylor, and other wonderful people: "No One Owns God: Readying yourself for respectful interfaith encounters" and "It's good to have wings, but you have to have roots too: Cultivating your own faith while embracing religious pluralism"

My tag with excerpts from Holy Envy

Post that includes links to various questions about heaven

Here’s a post where I talk about why I don’t believe in hell

My evangelism tag (tl;dr: I’m staunchly against prosletyzing to anyone who doesn’t explicitly request more info about Christianity)

#feel free only to read the tldr anon -- the rest goes way beyond your actual question!#exclusivism #inclusivism #religious pluralism #long post #essays #theology #other faiths tag

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necroromantics · 9 months ago

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Hello there. I am very sorry for coming into your inbox all of a sudden, but I feel this is very important.

Very recently, one of the Blessed Be The Wicked’s has come out to talk about what happened and clarify somethings. Anton never meant he wanted the whole Creepypasta fandom to die out, but for the toxic people in the fandom to die out. EX those who will defend Off*****man and those who genuinely are a danger to minors. But because of a mistake that was caught, all of this had blown over.

You can read the offical statement on offical-Locke-writing’s blog or see it on my creepypasta blog @killerlittlerejects the harrsement is getting out of hand, so if you could please share this it would be great

Hey sorry to hear yall are getting harassed for someones post. Even though I don't agree with a lot of things (or I guess how they were worded) that Anton posted, I believe entirely in everyones right to voice their opinions, and personally I dont believe that someones beliefs should punish the art they create. And while pushback against opinions we disagree with is how we open room for necessary discussions and growth, it is completely not ok for anyone to harass anyone or spread hatred and it sucks to see that people who disagree with Antons posts went too far with their pushback. We should all spread positivity and respect for each others right to their opinions, creative liberties, and right to do what makes them happy

On the otherhand, while I do understand that the post was worded badly because of how heated OP was writing it, shit happens, OP has a long history of making very negative and hateful posts that put down a lot of other creators in the fandom and then hides behind calling everyone pedos. Making OCs has nothing to do with sexualizing children. Making fanon content has nothing to do with sexualizing children.

But I completely agree with the fandoms gross inability to handle sensitive topics correctly. Recently I came across a dub/noncon NSFW post that wasn't tagged at all and it was just disappointing to see. Also as someone who has experienced firsthand ableism from the fandom as well, I understand wholeheartedly the anger that comes with seeing how the fandom handles mental illness, drug addiction, SA, etc.

At the end of the day, I don't personally believe Antons posts came from a place of genuine concern, or at least they definitely werent worded that way. But I also don't think yall should be "cancelled" or harassed or anything. I feel like people like to jump on bandwagons and not take the time to see past their own beliefs to try and understand others sides, which leads to a lot of harassment and negativity, even when they have good intentions.

It's important that we do keep talking about the things Anton was attempting to talk about. It's important that we keep a conversation going about the expectations we have for each other, and helping each other as creators handle sensitive topics correctly, and also encourage them to grow and create art of any kind

Just continue to grow and be kind, especially when its easier to be mean.

#tombtalk #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom

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spearxwind · 1 year ago

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not to sound weird but what was that work you put in to get where you are 🙏 i want to improve my life so bad but have no clue where to start. even a general gist of things

You dont sound weird! I think it's commendable to want to change your life for the better, and I want to help in any way I can :D

This is also my own perspective but I think a lot of it could be universally applied if you look at it through different lenses of ppls different situations. This also got rly long so I'm putting it under a readmore ^^;

So I had pretty much been isolating myself with increasing ferocity for years until recently. Even when trying to reach out to people I was extremely closed off, keeping my feelings behind many walls and chains always. A lot of my hard work has come from undoing all of that fuckup. I put all my eggs into my online friendships (and even then had a hard time with them).

My behavior was a cluster of personal garbage, learned mannerisms from keeping bad company, and hardwired reactions to specific behaviors. It's something pretty hurtful to realize when you do realize it, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a failure or anything like that. It just means that you have certain bare minimum survival behaviors that worked before but now are only doing you damage, and you have to learn to undo them. (which is a great step!!)

Which brings me to what I have (painfully) learned over the past several years: the basis to any and every good relationship, romantic, platonic, family, or anything is crystal clear communication. Straight up for the love of god communication skills will save your life time and time and time again

And also like I said in earlier posts the solution to wanting to be more social is just BEING more social. This is arguably extremely hard, especially after years of "if they want me around they'll ask me" and always waiting to be invited but not wanting to bother anyone by asking if you can join NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!! It really does NOT work that way at all. People will invite you to things if they see you express interest in them. The same way that in your head you think 'theyll invite me if they want me to go' if they dont see you express interest people will think you dont want to join. If you go someplace and just stay recluse because youre shy they likely will also think "theyre probably not comfortable or dont want to be here, so we wont force them". People are inherently kind and they are definitely NOT thinking about shunting you on purpose (and I am speaking this, genuinely, from personal experience)

While I was studying my major I got close to a group of people and thought of them as my friend group, but they always seemed cold to me, and I rarely got invited to hangouts because they seemed closer among themselves so I ended up always thinking that they didn't really want me around, and created all of these assumptions in my mind about them or what they thought of me.

Years later, recently, I found one of them again just... randomly while walking through the street and we started talking. And in my much better state of mind I asked about this whole thing because I wanted to know how the rest of the group was doing (I care very much for them still) and he revealed to me that THEY were the ones who thought I was shutting myself off of the group bc I didnt wanna be close to them. Which just blew my mind but it made a lot of sense and explained a lot. I was always on my phone too, talking with my internet friends (because it was my comfort zone), so what they'd assumed was that I already had a friend group that I was invested in and so I wasnt going to prioritize them. SO basically this whole thing ended up being resolved with clear communication and would have been solved much earlier if I had just spoken up about it and gotten braver (though my mental state did not let me at the time)

Anytime you are making up assumptions and ultimatums in your mind without communicating them to the other party you should stop and very much go and speak out loud to the other party (or parties) it will genuinely do you good cause huge as hell brain snowballs do nothing but drown you in your own mind.

Also on the being social front, if you dont have the practice in then it will be hard but a lot of it is very much "fake it till you make it" and I genuinely cannot recommend that enough. Inject yourself into conversations and places and act like yourself unapologetically because the secret isnt to craft a persona that you think people will like, its just being yourself and finding people who will love you for who you are. And like I said I just got invested in other ppls plans and asked to be able to go to places, and oftentimes just by expressing interest i got invited "oh I love this show very much!!" "well we have a plan to watch it at my pals house do you wanna come?" "we were planning on going to X place this week" "omg that sounds so cool can I come with" "of course!" Generally people will respond with "the more the merrier" so please dont be afraid to ask. And even if you get a rejection or two it's fine, don't let it discourage you. Some plans are simply not meant to be, and that's totally fine too!

Something else I worked for was reestablishing contact with old highschool friends I'd lost and I missed terribly. I went out of my way to find them again (old phone numbers, old emails, old instagram accounts that hadnt posted since 2019), and I found them!

And most of them really missed me too and were absolutely thrilled I contacted them again, we picked up right where we left off eight years prior. With a lot to catch up to but its genuinely so nice to have them in my life rather than just melancholically thinking about them and wondering if they hated me or anything. Turns out that they had also thought to contact me as well or had tried and lost my phone, or some of them even thought that it was better to leave things as they were to not "stir up shit" so we were all stuck in the same loop of insane thinking without actually confirming it until one of us (me in this case) finally broke the ice (and it took a damn long time too)

The thing is, people are just like you. We all have our own mental nonsense to fight, and we all have our assumptions and propensity to think ourselves into the grave, that's why its so so so so important to communicate things as clearly and as often as possible. Bearing your suffering alone will only make you miserable in the end, and your circle is there to help you

As a last note, I do want to say I have been incredibly lucky, because the friend group I've been adopted into I have met through that one friend from uni that I just HAPPENED to find on the street. I could have not waved him over on the street and just kept walking with my music on and ignored him. I could have said 'no' to his offer to get dinner that day if I'd wanted to be home earlier. I could have never spoken up about liking eurovision and never gotten invited to the hangout where I met my bf. And none of this would have ever happened at all. But that just strengthens my advice of "just say yes and reach out of your comfort zone" because you never know where it's going to lead you!

All this to say:

Communicate clearly with your peers to reduce misunderstandings. More likely than not they'll be in the same boat as you are. (Also extra note. Communication works BOTH WAYS. It needs to come from both parties. It is also a skill you have to nurture and hone!!)

Be kind!! and be loving!! and be yourself unapologetically!!

reach out to people the same way that you'd want to be reached out to. It sucks that sometimes (even often) you have to be the one to do it, but you eventually reap what you sow and people will learn that they can reach out to YOU

People will respond in kind to you being nice to them and a positive energy in their life. Some people will take advantage of it yes, thats just how things are, and its something you have to learn to recognize but you should never let that steel your heart. It is so so so important to remain kind and loving the world needs it so much. We're all out here trying to make our own lives and our loved ones lives a little bit brighter <3

#ask #anon #advice #this is so long and again it is from my perspective but this is what I have done so I am really hoping it helps you #im wishing u the best of luck anon i hope you are able to better your life significantly <3 #please feel free to keep me posted on your progress whenever you make any. be that in a few months or a few years

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dragon-queen21 · 7 months ago

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hi back again ! sorry for my small absence, my school year just finished and testing is approachin & ive been very stressed ☹️

but this time its gonna be about sanji (like the last two were supposed to) this is actually kind of angsty,, um,,, whoopsie

-i have a hc that during wholecake when sanji was with his family he was actually regressin. i dont think he was fully regressed but definitely wasnt fully big the entire time. please tell me you understand what im gettin at here. the amount of stress he must have been dealin with, unfortunately he needed to cope somehow, kind of angsty i know, but sanji fully regressin the second hes safe and with his crew again, and luffy (and the crew) just being there to help him (they didnt leave his side for hours)

-sanji is the straw hats resident baby like i said in a previous ask i believe that him and luffy regress the youngest, both needin the most care and attention out of everyone else in their straw hats agere universe. hes not as clingy as luffy, but will get fussy if someones not with him

-for some reason i am so diggin usopp watchin lil sanji, I DONT KNOW I FEEL LIKE THEYD HAVE A BLAST

i feel like usopp would be tryin SOOOO hard to helo sanji have a good time considerin usopps not his primary cg

-the girls are the ones who mostly care for sanji when hes little, robin being a little more motherly, and nami bein sweet and spoiling the hell out of him

-sanji called one of the girls “mommy” once and got SO embarrassed. locked himself in the kitchen stress bakin until the one he gave the title too came and talked to him

-once JUST ONCE he called zeff when he was really little and was genuinely tryin his hardest to act big when he was talkin to zeff. i cant imagine how he would react exactly, or if he woukd even understand what was happenin or what agere even was, but he raised this boy he can tell when somethins up. imagine franky, or robin, brook or someone findin him and having to slowwwlllyyy take it away from him and apologize to zeff so he can get back to his job

OKAY IM DONE BECAUSE IM TIRED RAAAH I HOOE YOUR HAVING A GOOD DAY sorry i think this is really difficult from my normal asks/rambles sanji is more personal to me than anyone else on the crew so i think about his highs and lows a lot more than anyone else in the crew! im sorry if its a bit to angsty ☹️

(also sorry i want to drop this,, inosuke agere? real? him regressing and hes just like a nonverbal baby boar. very very energetic kiddo)

(ive also been slightly fixated on ‘metal family’ recently as well. mom the hyperfixations are fightin)

📷

Hi hi! Good to see ya :D please ignore how long it took me to respond, this has been such a busy week for me and my mental health has been a roller coaster. Ooh I get the stress before tests, praying to Jesus for you that all goes well <3 Make sure to study a little, take breaks, and get a good night sleep before and I bet you will do just great! :D

Okay onto headcanons now~

~Sanji kind of teetering between headspaces is so real. Not feeling safe enough to fully regress but also his brain pushing him to be small because he’s upset and usually being small means getting comfort. He would probably crash and burn for days after once it finally hits him that he’s safe. Practically drunk of off familiarity of his crew.

While I am kind of aware of whole cake I’m not up that point in the anime, if I was I would give you a better comment, but alas :<

~The resident baby prince. Ahhh I love him so much. First thing I thought of is Sanji being sat in the corner with a blanket and some toys content to play by himself, but the moment whoever is watching over him leaves it’s instantly tears and crying. Object permanence who? If the baby can’t see his crew they therefor must have disappeared and left him and he is going to be sad about it forever. Never to be consoled agai- oh wait never mind they’re back now. All is right with the world.

~Usopp watching over anyone would have a blast. Let’s be honest- it’s Usopp. Something about him just screams caregiver coded.

~Okay but Sanji calling Robin “mama” promptly realizing what he’s said because Robin is so shocked she’s not responding, he’s not about to stick around and find out what she thinks of the accidental nickname, and going to stress bake for hours <- the best idea ever. It makes me so happy. Bdbjbcjdnjdnsj (Like I haven’t said this a hundred times before, I’m soft for mama Robin can you tell :3 )

~I’ll raise you one. Calling up Zeff but it keeps happening when Sanji is looking after regressors. The phrase “I’m telling!” gives Sanji a near heart attack. The ex pirate has gotten used to getting calls from little straw-hats, so imagine his shock when it’s Sanji regressed and calling.

These weren’t too different I would say. Besides I absolutely adore angst just as much as I love fluff. Like let the baby’s suffer a bit >:3

(Very real. The most real actually. Inosuke never got to experience a normal childhood. Let. Him. Cope. 👏)

“mom the hyperfixations are fightin”

😭😂 love that

I’ve never heard if metal family before. I do however understand the fight between hyperfixations. (Looks towards the 5,000+ word Genshin Impact fic I’ve been writing and essentially ignoring all my other current projects for) It’s tough being in multiple fandoms, the struggle is real my friend

#mayliz rambles #one piece agere #agere headcanons #fandom agere #anime agere #age regression #sfw agere #age regression headcanons #📷 anon

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jayflrt · 7 months ago

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HELLO!

I like your work a lot like it's genuinely Hilarious so I thought you would be the best person to ask for this.

I want to make a writing tumblr for enhypen but I'm a little lost because I've never used tumblr (as a creator) before LOL just used twitter and AO3 to write/socmed for fictional fandoms (tbh this is my first time like being a proper fan of a kpop group as to occasionally liking a song or two).

Anyways! What I've gathered from my experience on twitter and the writers I've followed here is obviously your blog should have an intro about you (inc. what you're comfy with, what you write, etc.) and a master list of your works BUT some of Tumblr's mechanics are Confusing.

Like,

1) should I create specific tags for my asks?

2) on twt, usually you create a tweet like "Hi! New to #___twt, looking for moots blah blah" to get an initial burst of likewise new people to bond and communicate with, does it work similarly here and if so/not please elaborate TT

3) is the etiquette to reblog every work you like, or is that spammy and you should just like them?

4) is there any other advice you have for navigating tumblr (like odd quirks)

5) ALSO this is a small dumb question but in the fandoms I've been in until now we usually used socmed au instead of smau do you have any idea why that's different (low-key smau is smarter tho bcus it's a shorter abbreviation)

I think that's all. I tried going through your rules and intro again, but I didn't see anything on whether an ask like this was alright or not, but I hope it is! I didn't want to Like intrude, but I felt most comfortable asking you because you're also desi ❤️❤️.

Anyways!! If this is something you don't want to/don't feel comfortable answering or it's like annoying genuinely just ignore this, I don't want to be make anyone uncomfortable!

omg thank you so much ml, i'm so glad you enjoyed my works!! 🥹 welcome to the kpop community first of all!! did you recently become an engene? :') and welcome to the tumblr ff community too! honestly i feel like if you can navigate ao3 just fine then tumblr shouldn't be too difficult after a while but i'm sure it's confusing at first 😵‍💫

as for your questions i'll answer them in the same order you asked them:

1. honestly i'm not 100% sure if there's any real purpose behind specific tags for your asks other than organization personally LOL but it's pretty helpful if you want to go back to look through your asks for something instead of scrolling past all the posts on your blog !!

2. omg yes i love the twt intros 💗 honestly for tumblr i think i just started posting content right away whenever i made a blog 🤧 i think intros are usually just in your navigation anyways but if you want to talk to different authors then it doesn't hurt to send an ask!! usually people communicate with different authors via the ask box 🥰

3. all sorts of interaction is great but i think reblogs are preferred!! i typically use likes as my bookmarks and then reblogs to comment on work or share it to a wider audience. the algorithm for tumblr works so that your likes don't show for others (unless you make it public on your profile) but your reblogs are on the dashes of people who follow you

4. ooh i'd say make use of the tagging system!! using tags like #enhypen fluff or #enhypen x reader on your fics will make it easier for people to find your work 💘

5. HAHAH I USED TO CALL IT SOCMED AU TOO BEFORE I JOINED TUMBLR 😭 i still use social media au as a tag but i think smau is more widely used here!! not exactly sure why but im guessing its just easier to tag 🙂‍↕️ i get you tho bc i experienced the same culture shock

dont worry you're most welcome to send asks !! 🥰💘 and thank you for reading my rules and intro!! i definitely don't turn away anyone who's looking for advice <33 also omg fellow desi 🫶 welcome to enhablr !

#💌 : love notes #suneng

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penelopecolinb · 6 months ago

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Hi, nat! I became a big fan of POLIN after watching season 3 of BRIDGERTON, and for the past two months, I've been obsessed with everything about Polin and even reading your fanfiction! I don't read English very well, but with the help of a translator, I've been devouring all of your fics these past few weeks! The way you describe Polin’s relationship, Colin's character, and their intimacy is so sexy and mesmerizing, and I feel like this could only be done by you. I especially love the way you describe Colin's possessiveness and obsession, which is never unpleasant, but rather charming, because it shows his purity towards Penelope...

I have so many questions for you since you write such amazing fiction... I don't want to bother you, but if you have time, I'd love for you to answer them!

1. you wrote a fanfiction of Polin before season 3 was released, and I'm curious what it is about this couple that fascinated you! Are you a fan of the original show?

2. i was wondering how you viewed season 3, because despite the fact that your fic was written before season 3 was released, i felt that the Colin from the show and the Colin from your novel were very similar, especially in terms of Colin being insecure about Pen's love and being afraid that he wouldn't be a better man for her, and trying to hold on to her, even having sex with her right after they got engaged! I know that part 2 left fans disappointed in terms of length and other aspects, but do you think the show satisfied you?

3. last but not least...I was actually going to ask you if you'd be willing to release a new ONE SHOT fic during this Bonus Polin Week! Then I read your most recent one, SPARE HEART, and I found out that you're in a difficult situation to write fics. I'm so sad for you, but I hope your situation will turn out the way you want it to be soon. It's a great pain for me to know that my favorite fanfiction author is in a bad situation!

Your fics have given me so much comfort and strength!!! 🥺 I can't wait until you start posting fanfiction again! And I'm Korean, and I just wanted to let you know that in the Korean online community I'm in, there are a lot of compliments and mentions of your fics!! I love you!!! If I'm approved to join Ao3, I promise to leave comments and kudos on your fics in the future 😘😘

oh god my darling, thank you so so so much for this lovely message, my heart is so full 💖💖

i'll be happy to answer any questions you (or anyone else) might have!

yes, i was a casual viewer of the original series. i got into it even more when queen charlotte came out, and then i just started loving the angst of pen overhearing colin say that shit about never courting her. i went into a deep dive on polin ao3 and never came back!

im hesitant to answer any questions about the show because i dont want to be a hater. i didnt like a lot of the decisions the writers made - not just in part 2, but part 1 too. i think i'll leave it at that. i feel that thinking of the many many things that i wasn't satisfied by really overshadowed the few parts of the series i genuinely liked.

oh, bless your heart. thank you so much for your kind words. i'm trying to finish spare heart at the moment, and then i have a oneshot coming up (but not in polin week) for the polin x care for gaza raffle winner. and after that, i do have a few ideas i wanna start on! so hopefully i will be able to write, but probably not as frequently as i do now.

that is so insane to me, that the polin community in korea have an awareness of my fic and talk about it and really like it 😭😭😭😭😭 thank you for sharing that with me! im so so so glad that my fics have such a broad reach. please pass on my thanks to the lovely korean online community you're in!

i hope you, my lovely friend, have a wonderful, wonderful day!

#neulun #ask nat #this message made me emotional #i cant believe people in KOREA know my fics #oh this makes me so so happy you have no idea!!!!!

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angelthingy · 11 months ago

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hiii so queer discourse post ahead!! im sorry if i say anything wrong please correct me if i do!! also pls read to the end if you would like to comment because its very much a "stream of thought" kinda post so i go through a few opinions before settling on anything-

saw an argument under a poll recently about how detransitioners who hadnt gone through any sort of medical transition shouldnt be allowed to call themselves trans if they had reverted to a gender that matches with their assigned sex and. honestly i feel like this is one of those admittedly rare moments where i dont really know what opinion to take? i mean i do believe that a detransitioners experience is unique so its entirely reasonable for them to identity more with a trans experience but- relating to what the argument was about- should someone born a woman be able to call themselves a trans woman if they had briefly thought they were trans then. changed their mind before having taken any steps to transition? i really really really!!! dont want to gatekeep identities, its just as people pointed out, being TOO accepting can just open up a loophope for ppl with umm. other intentions, such as chasers - which is, not that great? im just bringing this up because admittedly part of me is worried about both of these positions- one seems really gatekeepy but could also be helpful in allowing trans ppl to have a term to describe specifically themselves; while the other kind of means that the uniqueness of a trans experience is taken away if ppl can say they're trans without having ever transitioned or facing any of the experiences of trans people (dont wanna say issues because defining trans ppl by the issues they face isnt that helpful, though yes obviously those as well)

after having written this out i partially think i may have been influenced by conformity tbh (whoaa psychology reference) because like. the VAST!!! majority of the notes in that poll was that they shouldnt call themselves trans but while im here typing this out im finding myself disagreeing with that position more than not- like ultimately i feel like people should be able to use whatever labels they think fits for them as long as its genuine to their feelings at that moment, and in the cases where they're using them harmfully/disingenuously then thats like. the exception and not the rule- right?

anyway i just wanted to talk about this because talking about things helps me articulate my thoughts!! i guess i did actually end up coming to a conclusion with what i believe in the end so it worked, yippee! but if anyone wants to discuss this please feel free because i am interested in other opinions, especially those which come from experience :D

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seeingteacupsindragons · 6 months ago

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hi, im the person whos sent you those rude asks trying to get a reaction, but after thinking about it, id like to apologise for my behaviour. i realise now how immature and ridiculous it was, and that i was just trying to get negative attention because i was bored and too miserable to be able to have any better form of interaction with anyone. but whatever immature reason, i know taking out my personal issues on a stranger i found mildy annoying is really bad behaviour and i shouldnt have done it. im really sorry if i caused any genuine offence when i criticised your writing of which i know nothing about, and im sorry for all those rude and immature and completely random asks i kept spamming you with just because i was bored. it wasnt personal or anything it was sort of random and i dont even know why i did it, it sounds nuts when i think about it. ill stop doing all this rubbish and leave you alone from now on, i wont even do it to anyone else. i just wanted to say that i recognise now that im in the wrong and was acting really rubbishly

Anon...

Honestly, it became apparent almost immediately that you were trying to goad me into giving you attention because you weren't getting any and you were likely jealous I have figured out how to get attention, and...honestly...

That made it easier to keep ignoring you. Because it was so incredibly apparent that what you were doing was entirely about you being upset and jealous and not having the emotional maturity to admit that or do anything productive about it. It wasn't interesting, or relevant to me.

I've never sent anonymous hate mail to anyone (or signed hate mail), but I definitely had a lot of very unstable years where I reacted very badly in social interactions and behaved honestly embarrassingly for the same reasons. You said that you find actually admitting things and liking attention is embarrassing...but I would rather be embarrassed by that than embarrassed about lying to myself.

It's social media! We all want interaction and attention!

But the thing is, making friends and getting attention is often rooted in being positive and loving and affectionate about things. I have so many followers on here because I talk about the things they love with ardent passion. I had a huge surge of followers recently for making a positivity post for original fiction writers encouraging people.

One of your first messages to me told me I don't respond to hate mail "normally" because I actually express genuine hurt when people are mean to me. But that is a normal human reaction. And you know that. I have always been a very open, genuine, and earnest person, so I cannot relate to wrapping yourself in hate, but I spent many years wrapped in anger and jealousy, and the thing that got me out of it was therapy.

Seriously. Therapy, and psychiatric medication. Because my personal brain chemistry means I need that.

And I encourage you to also seek out some kind of professional medical help, because you seem so genuinely miserable and directionless in your life that you need help finding a direction to pursue.

So I genuinely hope you do do that and it helps make you a happier person who hopefully doesn't go into social spaces intentionally poisoning things and making other people miserable because you are miserable. That's what you're doing right now.

But you can also choose to make social spaces more heartfelt and welcoming and warm and kind by adding that to the environment instead. It's a lot of work, sometimes, but it's worth it to me and to people in general.

And you did still hurt my feelings, even though I knew it had nothing to do with me. That's the cost of how you're behaving: you hurt people, and they don't like you very much or want to interact with you, and then you end up lonely and ignored because you're not acting like the kind of person anyone wants to pay attention to.

I'm glad my inbox will return to normal. I hope you find a great hobby that has absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever.

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chicspo · 7 months ago

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hey lolaa hope ur having a great day, anyways i wanna get smth off my chest. growing up- i was always the left out friend which later on in life I purposely excluded myself out of friend groups/friend ships esp after like a minor inconvenience happened. I’d say i have an intuition like a dog so i can immediately sense someone’s intentions and stuff. I recently moved schools and well it’s not going well. I’m doing academically well but I genuinely do not have anyone I vibe with or be friends with. There was this girl- we had similar interests and stuff so I did talk to her and then one day I asked her if she wanted to sit w me in class right. She purposely ghosted me for like 4 hours and responded telling me she can’t because she have to gossip with her friend in like the most shadiest way 💀. Glad to say after that I wasn’t going to contact her again- I have some friends like 3-4 which are from my old school or used to attend there and well those friends and I are starting to drift apart and I feel like I have no one. I have been always fine being alone but a few days ago I definitely started to go insane because I just felt so isolated from the world. I’m now kind of learning again on how it’s okay to have no friends ( literally no one to text to ) and how I can just live peacefully alone with myself. It gets hard sometimes and I was wondering ur advice on the whole thing

school frienships are usually a waste of time. focus on ur grades its great that ur doing good academically!! ur future self will thank u. u dont have to comform to being friends with people who dont appreciate u just because theyre the only people available around u. definitely ur doing good getting used to being by urself. most people cant be alone and its detrimental. however its normal to want someone to at least talk to or text. if u cant find anyone worth ur time irl even out of school somewhere else, try making online friends. it will be less intimidating and ur likely to find people with the same interests way easier. at least that way u will have someone to speak to everyday

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queer-advice-hotline · 1 year ago

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god idk even if this is a vent or that im like asking for help

im aro/ace, specifically i dont want anything romantic nor sexual, like 0% interest. never had the wish for a relationship either, MAYBE queerplatonic where we are just best friends who are exclusive. but idk basically… i feel like im missing behind, like i KNOW i am not, i know there is nothing wrong with the fact that i dont feel sexual nor romantic attraction and with the fact that i dont even want to feel it, but seeing all of your friends find their one person… like holy fucking god dude it sucks

my very best friend of three years for example, i adore her with all of my heart and i click with her in a way that i have never clicked with anyone before, like i have never loved someone this much platonically and i know for a fact she feels the same. but we are older teens, ofc she is gonna be dating around i understand it it is what happens and what other teens want but… not me. she got a bf recently, and i genuinely love the dude we get along great we are good friends we play games together and have the same sort of humor we have similar interests and hyperfixations he is amazing and caring and kind he is so good to her and she had a couple of HORRIBLE exes especially her last gf before him and im deadass so happy to see her have such a good relationship and find someone who cherishes her like that after all the heartbreak she went through

but i cant keep myself from feeling like im second best

she has known this dude for maybe what, a couple weeks? and hes just casually at the level of friendship that she and i have that we have been at for the last three years and shes constantly talking about him and just… like what does he have that i dont? im not jealous, i never really felt jealousy like that and never when it comes to relationships, i just feel like the second pick.

all my closer friends have been getting into relationships like that and never had an issue with it until it was her. i guess i just felt like i finally had someone who thought of me as their one and only, like their person. now this fucker who deadass is me but wants to fuck and kiss came along and in a few weeks that is her person. all my friends have their people, i was her person until he came along, and other people think of me just as the funny guy in class who is a friend to all. like a "jack of all trades but a master of none" situation but with relationships. just, god, i would fucking kill to be someones first choice and their person and one and only but the stupid chemicals that make people have those stupid crushes and idiotic romantic feelings are keeping me from it

just, god dude, being aro/ace sucks so fucking much sometimes. its like heartbreak but just skipping the love part

also this is the first time in my life i have ever voiced these feelings because i usually just joke about it all... even typing it out made me feel better in a way

Voicing your feelings can be helpful, I’m glad it made you feel better

#1-800-queer #queer advice hotline #vent calls #aspec calls #queer #aspec

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brokenwiingss · 1 year ago

Text

Task: 001

001. what is your full name?

Sasha Romero

002. what is your parents names? (what was their occupation?)

My dad's name is Marcelo Romero. He was construction worker. My mother? Don't know, don't care.

003. do you have any allergies, diseases or other physical weaknesses?

Nope, im as healthy as a horse

004. write a full physical description of yourself. you might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

Im about 5'5 and 125 pounds. I'm half Mexican, half Irish. I've got dark brown hair and eyes. My style would be cute casual i guess? I have one minimalist tattoo on my ribs of two hands holding onto each other. It represents my dad and i.

005. to which social class did you belong in before the outbreak?

working class

006. are you right- or left-handed?

right

007. what does your voice sound like?

Uh not sure how i would decribe it.

008. what words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

I use fuck a lot. babe here and there too. Oh and stop being a little bitch and grow a pair.

009. what was your first kiss like and with who?

not good, and someone from my sophomore year of high school.

010. do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? are you in love right now?

I did until i got screwed over. I am not in love, dont think i will be anytime soon.

011. how do you feel about marriage?

Was against it at first, then met someone who changed my mind and now im not sure.

012. who are / is your best friend? what do you like about them?

Maverick is my best friend. He's open, honest and hilarious. @collapseqz

013. when was the last time you were hurt? who did it?

A few months ago when i got shot in the leg but a fucking idiot of a soldier. Unless we are talking about heart break, dont even get me started.

014. talk about one person you've met recently and what did you think of them?

I met a woman named Thalia. She's gorgeous and knows how to have fun.

015. would you say that you're more of a leader or a follower?

hmmm it depends on the situation i guess.

016. when was the moment you really realized that the outbreak wasn't going away? that your life was completely changed? if you were a kid, when do you think you realized you grew up?

When more and more people got infected, i knew it wasn't ending any time soon. My life changed when i had to leave home without a choice so i could survive. When i had to start taking care of myself more.

017. what's your weapon of choice?

A gun, its good to keep a distance between you and whoever you're up against.

018. what do you look for in a partner? or describe what your dream partner would be like? what do they look like? what color is their hair? how tall are they? what's their attitude like? be descriptive.

Why do questions about my love life keep coming up? I guess my dream partner would be someone whose funny, easy to get along with. Genuine and kind, someone who knows what they want. Looks? They'd be tall with a great body. i dont really care about hair color but if i had to choose, dark hair. I'd like someone taller than me. Taller than 5'8 is preferred. And their attitude, positive, calm. Kind of the opposite of me because im already a lot.

019. what are you afraid of? tangible and unavoidable? (tangible: spiders, ghosts, snakes / unavoidable: aging, dying)

Tangible, i dont like rats. Unavoidable, i guess dying alone. I would like to spend my last moments with someone.

020. what is your worst memory?

Finding my dad dead in his bed.

021. What is your favorite memory?

Backpacking through Europe. Got to explore so much, meet new people and try new foods.

022. what’s your reputation with the people around you. do they like you? dislike you? why?

Uh i guess it's good. Im very social so its not hard to befriend people. I would hope they like me though. If anyone doesn't like me, then fuck them.

023. if you could relive one memory, one last time which would it be?

My dad and I on Christmas morning, making cookies, opening gifts then going to see the Christmas lights.

024. when you were a kid were you bullied or teased? for what?

I wasn't because i wouldn't let anyone bully or tease me. I fought a lot when i was younger.

025. if you could tell your younger self something, what would it be?

That'll be okay and youre gonna be such a boss ass bitch. That there is nothing to be afraid of.

026. what is a goal you want to accomplish before you die?

To be honest, i dont know if i have a goal. I use to say to have a family. married with a child so i could give them a better life but im not bringing a child into this fucked up world.

027. if you could pick anyone in town to tell your life story, who would it be and why?

Hmm Sebastian for sure. He's kind and i know he'd be a great listener. He also has something about him that puts you at ease and makes you feel...safe i guess i would put it. @instinctsqz

028. do you believe there is or could be a cure to be made? and do you think that it could restore humanity?

if there was, it would've been done by now and maybe it could restore humanity but i'm not holding my breath.

029. if the outbreak never happened, what would you have wanted to do for a living?

I'd probably be a detective.

#jackson;task #task 01

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