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#i mean i know she was still a kid when she died . if she was actually given the chance to grow up she might have looked more like them
ihopesocomic · 2 days
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My Pride is weird bc the gore for shock value is really the only thing "adult" about it. As far as plot and characters and themes it fits right in with YA xenofiction - yes, even "mature themes" like abuse and oppression are often covered in children's media like Wings of Fire and AtLA, that's not exclusive to adults. I feel like MP was actually intended for the same type of audience, but they added the unserious bobblehead disclaimers at the last minute bc they realized angry parents might come after them if their kids watched a Lion King-style YouTube video that turned out to be super violent and bloody.
Its really hard to tell who the audience for MP was outside of "people who were already fans of Tribble's warrior cat/cotw content". Can't be for children, cuz there's warnings (well "warnings" in the form of cute widdle bobbleheads with little fun quips from the characters)
Like is this for teens? I mean I know teens like a lot of crappy stuff (not me tho, I've always had impeccable taste /sarcasm)
Is this for adults? Cuz the messaging and writing is almost unfathomably immature. The messaging was so bad, people still don't understand what's so "problematic" about it. They think RJ and I are just mad because ableism and homophobia is in it. Like why do we have to keep explaining things to people. If people used their brains, or consumed literally anything else, they'd arrive to the conclusion themselves. After all a ton of the opinions we expressed in our video were already expressed by lots of other people beforehand and they didn't need us to tell them what to think lol
Even the violence was immature, which I can say because I love me some creative violence in my movies/shows. There's science behind violence, so you'd think a show that prides itself as being a "more mature Lion King" and believing itself to have a more realistic portrayal of lions, it would have realistic violence, but nope.
The violence in this show is sometimes hilariously censored, like for some reason Barkmane's body was completely blurred out when they had no qualms about showing Starmane and Quickmane's body, their injuries were not even indicative to anything based in reality
Karabi's throat was slashed open and her voice actor was just groaning (not the voice actor's fault, this is the fault of the director) and I dunno, I feel like I've seen enough slasher films to know a convincing dying noise when I hear one, but I don't expect people working for me to know what that sounds like so as a director it would be my responsibility to... you know... direct.
And Sharptongue's death, like I still don't know what was supposed to even be wrong with her. She just started having a coughing fit and died off-screen.
AND YET MP somehow manages to be really fucked up in its mediocrity?? Because it just shrugs off child death like the characters do.
It's not like resources aren't out there, people have been posting videos of lions killing each other on youtube for years lol
"Adult shows" that are easily outshined by kids shows in maturity are fascinating to me, and they're more commonplace and I don't know why. At least two other "adult shows" have so little respect for the intelligence of their audience that they put in a shit ton of information that adults get mad when they have to think about things. And/or they are so embarrassingly safe it's almost like they're made specifically to cater to kids.
I mean the fuckin Lion King straight-to-video sequel had an effective abusive family dynamic, so what's the excuse here exactly. (I mean I know the answer, it's because Tribble pulled heavily from Warrior Cats and didn't improve upon it.) - Cat
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malfiora · 2 days
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I'm rewriting Jason's resurrection and reconciliation with the fam for my own sanity:
Jason dies tragically and horrifically at age 15
A year later, Superboy Prime punches through universes, collapsing two realities onto each other: one where Jason dies, the other in which he survives. Jason comes back to life but is semi-conscious. Talia finds him and takes him to the League
Jason regains full consciousness after a dip in the Lazarus. For two years, Jason trains and slowly regains his memories. Once he's 18, he decides to return to Gotham, despite Talia's wishes
Quickly becomes clear that Gotham hasn't changed much, which disappoints Jason. He decides to put his League training to use and control crime as a harm reduction tactic, and he goes back and forth on contacting Bruce, especially after he hears rumors of a new Robin
Joker pops up with a new scheme, and this is the last straw. Jason concocts a plan to kidnap and finally kill Joker and confront Batman about all the ways he's failed him and Gotham. When Batman refuses to kill Joker, Jason feints like he's going to kill Tim to "save him the trouble" since Batman clearly cares so little for his sidekicks. ("Hey, kid, at least I'll make it painless.") This gets a reaction from Batman, who incapacitates Jason and rescues Robin. Jason retreats to lick his wounds and reconsider everything
Jason takes time to ruminate on all of this. He's still hurt that his death meant nothing in the grand scheme of things but thinks about Batman's reaction to Tim being in danger and has to wonder if that's how he acted when Jason was in that warehouse
Out of morbid curiosity and a little bit of fanboyishness, Tim monitors Jason. Jason knows this and eventually confronts him. He feels bad for scaring Tim but has to maintain his edge so he tries not to be too scary. At some point, Tim speaks his mind and tells Jason that he has no idea what things were like while he was dead. "Batman was a mess, he almost killed people. That's why I became Robin. I had to put him back together, so you don't get to act like you know everything that happened the past 3 years because you been back a couple months." Jason takes this in. They part ways. (Jason: "Don't die." Tim: "Don't change.")
The Chemo incident happens. Jason rushes to Blüdhaven to make sure Dick is alive and okay, thus revealing he's alive to the Titans. After the dust settles, he and Dick talk privately so that Dick can react properly. (Dick: "No, Batman didn't tell me." Jason: "Yeah, he has a habit of doing that.")
Jason gets to ask if Tim's claim of Batman being a mess is founded. It is. He asks Dick if it's worth doing things the same way. "It is." That doesn't help.
Eventually Jason and Bruce have their equivalent of a heart to heart. Basically they both go, "I love you even if I think you're wrong."
Jason forms the Outlaws, but the moment he gets the distress call from the fam, he comes rushing back to help. He's offended that Bruce is surprised (Tim is hopeful, Dick isn't remotely shocked)
When Dick "dies," Jay comes back to take his place as Eldest Son. He sticks around through the end of the Robin War
Other important events that definitely happen but just don't fit neatly into a timeline:
Barbara and Jason team up on a mission shortly after Bruce tells Barbara that Jason is back. She's happy and immediately falls into big sister/mother hen mode and chides him for not seeing her sooner and makes him promise to stop by the clocktower regardless of whatever is happening between him and Bruce. She promises to help him upgrade his tech if he does. (Barbara has always been more lenient with killers and believes wholly in second chances.)
Cass stops Jason from killing someone who "deserves it," resulting in them fighting. Cass is better trained but she refuses to kill Jason, who won't stop. Eventually, they call a ceasefire and talk a bit. "All life has meaning," Cass says. Jason scoffs. "Even the Joker's?" "All life," she insists. Jason quietly disagrees but he respects Cass's determination. This starts a back and forth of him testing her anytime they're grouped together. ("Even this lowlife, Cass?" or "She's worth your own life?" or "They wouldn't spare you, why bother?") Each and every time she sticks to her principles.
Jay and Steph grab food together after a patrol one night and bond over being the family outcasts (i.e. the ones Bruce doesn't implicitly trust). Jason vows to make Steph his Robin if he ever becomes Batman. She laughs but is secretly touched
***I can never decide what to do with Damian. On the one hand, it's hilarious if Jason knows about him and keeps quiet about it. On the other, I don't see why Jason wouldn't tell Bruce about Damian's existence. Maybe once he's on speaking terms with Bruce again, he does tell him about Damian, which then prompts Jason to encourage Talia to let Damian meet Bruce. This is accelerated by Talia discovering Ra's' plan for Damian and wanting to get Damian away from the League
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Ao3 Link because this one is a bit long <3
Buck ducks his head on his way into the station, hoping that it's one of those days where everyone else is too caught up in their own stuff to notice that he’s kind of spiraling.
It's not that he wants everyone to be going through stuff. And really, thinking that might bring it into existence, and the 118 already feels cursed enough as is. So, Buck really doesn't want anyone to be dealing with emotional baggage on the same level as what he's dealing with but-
"You alright?" Bobby asks as he turns off the stove, pulling everyone's attention toward Buck which is exactly what he doesn't need right now.
"Fine. Just thinking," Buck replies easily, ignoring the way Eddie is leveling him with an I know you're lying because you're a worse liar than Christopher look.
Before Eddie can say anything, Chimney points a piece of bacon at him and chimes in, "Uh oh. That's dangerous."
"What's more dangerous are the thoughts he isn't willing to share with the class," Hen says, eyebrows raised in an almost accusatory way. "So, what aren't you telling us?"
Buck shakes his head with a frown. "Nothing," he states, taking a place at the table and shoveling food on his plate, hoping it's the end of this conversation.
Eddie leans over and lowers his voice to ask, "You're not having nightmares again, are you?"
"No," Buck replies honestly, although after the events of last night, he just might.
"Maddie hasn't said anything, so it's not family related,'' Chimney very unhelpfully adds.
"Are you and Tommy okay?" Hen asks.
The grimace is entirely involuntary.
"Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!" Chimney says with a laugh which dies down quickly when Bobby gives him a look.
"What happened?" Hen questions softly.
Bobby takes the opportunity to clear his throat. "Buck, you don't have to answer any of their questions if you don't want to, after all, we are all at work."
"When has that stopped anyone before?" Chimney asks, getting a swift kick in the shin by Hen in response.
The tiniest bit of relief floods his system when everyone stops pressing and moves on. Well, besides the occasional lingering glance of curiosity, they mostly move on. But the smallest part of Buck wishes they would press on because he has to tell someone, and while they are some of the nosiest people he's ever met, they're also family.
"I called Tommy the wrong name last night!" Buck blurts out.
Everyone stops mid-conversation to look at him.
"I called him the wrong name... and he left."
The amusement on Hen's face slips right off as she puts a hand over Buck's. "Oh, Buck."
Eddie swallows his food audibly before gently asking, "Left as in..."
Buck glances his way, taking in the soft sympathy in Eddie's eyes. "Left the apartment with a quick goodbye saying he needed time to think about things, and he hasn't talked to me since. It's been twelve hours."
"That's not too bad. What we really need to know is what name you called him. Then we can figure out the damage. And hey, I've had many girls call me the wrong name, and the longest I waited was maybe a day before speaking to them again," Chimney says.
"I don't think you're the best person to be giving advice about this," Bobby says with his ever-present small smile.
"Hey, I'm married now! I think I'm doing pretty great."
Bobby turns his attention back to Buck. "Hey, kid. We've all been there, okay? You're still in the early stages of this relationship, and it's natural to revert to old tendencies - including calling someone the wrong name. Hell, I've called Athena my first wife's name before; there's nothing to be ashamed of."
Buck shakes his head and stares down at the table. "But it was... really bad this time."
"This time?" Ravi asks in disbelief, only to be ignored as Buck continues.
"He didn't even look mad. He just looked... disappointed. And I thought it was something we could laugh off because really it was just a slip of the tongue! I mean, I didn't mean to call him 'Bobby!'"
An eerie silence settles in the station as everyone takes in what was said.
Buck tries to defend himself with a quick, "Uh-" But is immediately cut off by the bell going off.
On the way to the scene, everyone glances at Buck who finally says, "Okay, so Tommy has a daddy kink."
"Yeah, I could've gone my whole life without knowing that," Chimney sighs.
"And!" Buck continues, "Daddy and Bobby are... kind of similar sounding, you know? Daddy... Bobby..."
"If you say 'daddy' one more time, I will revoke Uncle Buck privileges," Chimney groans.
Hen shrugs and says, "There's nothing wrong with a daddy kink as long as everyone is consenting. Now a Bobby kink..."
There's a mixture of laughter from Hen and Chimney, an ay dios from Eddie, a mumbled what is happening from Ravi, and Bobby pointedly tries to ignore the conversation.
"We were in the kitchen and he handed me-!"
"Nope! I do not want to hear about your sex life, Buckaroo!"
Buck frowns at Chimney for a moment before his eyebrows shoot up in shock. "Oh! No! You all think I- Oh god. No. No." Buck shakes his head seriously and continues, "The kink extends outside of the bedroom. He likes it when I call him that all the time. Like when we're having dinner or when we're making dinner. Which is exactly when it happened last night. See, Bobby and I cook all the time, plus like I said Bobby and Da-"
"Alright, we're one minute out, let's wrap this conversation up please," Bobby says, as the tips of his ears turn red.
"Yes, d- Bobby. Shit," Buck mutters, ignoring the cackling around him. Who knew a minute could last so long?
Luckily, the call isn’t too bad – a car accident with the worst injury being minor airbag burns. They're able to clear the scene quickly - too quickly in Buck's opinion because none of them forget their previous conversation.
On the ride back, it takes less than a minute before Eddie asks, "So, I don't get it. You misspoke, and Tommy just... walked out?"
"If it was during sex... that would definitely be off-putting, but you would think you could just laugh it off even if it killed the mood," Hen thinks aloud, "But what exactly did you say when you called him Bobby?"
Buck shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he recalls the moment. "He just asked me to hand him the garlic powder, and I said 'Yes, Bobby' and immediately started laughing about it because I thought we could just laugh it off. But when I saw he wasn't laughing I apologized because it was an honest mistake, but he said the thing about taking time to figure things out, and he walked out."
"Maybe he didn't want to be compared to Cap because he's ancient," Chim jokes, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
Hen laughs and looks at Bobby. "You have no comeback today?"
"Don't need one if being ancient got me Athena."
There's a series of cooing, awws, and catcalls from everyone as they're quick to tease Bobby who throws a proud smile over his shoulder. Buck tries his hardest to focus on the secondhand love he feels for their relationship but notices how dim it is when compared to his tarnishing relationship. Bobby must notice it because he's quick to say, "Tommy is a good man. He'll come around."
Buck nods, lost in the thought of what if he doesn't? and too distracted by it to conceal his other thought, "Yeah, if he can get over me calling him Eddie in bed then he should be able to get over this, right?"
A weird strangled noise comes out of Chimney's mouth and Hen's jaw visibly drops. But Buck's eyes shoot to Eddie when he realizes what he just confessed.
Eddie just smiles, looking disturbingly undisturbed and a little amused and maybe… proud?
A minute of silence passes by before Ravi of all people asks, "So is no one going to question what was just said?"
Eddie shakes his head and laughs. "Come on, you guys. You said it yourself it happens to everyone. And I've had my fair share of partners who have gotten offended because they thought I said 'Buck' but 'Buck' and 'fuck' sound very similar."
"Just like 'Eddie' and 'baby' sound similar," Buck rushes to say, jaw tight, nodding quickly in agreement.
"Yeah because I'm sure that..." Chimney trails off and throws his hands up. He shoots Hen a look and asks, "Do you want to take this one?"
Hen blows out a deep breath of air and shakes her head. "They don't pay me enough to even begin to unpack this."
Eddie rolls his eyes and bumps his knee against Buck's. "This doesn't change a thing between us, okay?” He lowers his voice to say, “And between you and me, there was definitely one time I clearly said your name, so I guess we're even."
"You realize our radios are all on the same channel, right?" Bobby asks with barely veiled amusement.
Eddie's eyes widen for a second before he straightens up and fixes everyone with a flat look, almost daring them to say anything.
"Does this happen often?" Ravi asks naively.
"With these two idiots?" Hen asks.
"Yes," comes the answer from Chimney, Hen, and Bobby.
Buck crosses his arms, but he can't feel too bad when Eddie shoots him a small private smile.
Soon enough, they get back to the station, and Buck can sense something is off when he's the last to get out of the truck.
"Someone is here to see you, Buck," Bobby says, his smile tighter than usual before he squeezes Buck's arm and walks past him. Buck glances over everyone else's shoulders and finds Tommy standing there, hands in his pockets looking slightly uneasy.
"So, I'm assuming everyone knows," Tommy comments to the group who all look around uncomfortably.
"I think Cap said something about cleaning something upstairs," Ravi says before running off. He's definitely one of their smartest firefighters and probably their least nosy - maybe there's a connection there. Buck doesn't have much time to think about it as everyone rushes past him, giving him looks of encouragement and poorly concealed grimaces.
"Hi, Tommy," Buck says, purposefully saying his name to prove to both of them that he's capable of it.
"Evan," Tommy replies easily. He glances up and sighs, "Let's go somewhere a bit more private, hm?"
Buck turns and finds everyone including Bobby leaning on the railing upstairs, trying to overhear. Buck furrows his eyebrows and frowns at them, shaking his head - although he knows if the roles were reversed, he would definitely be doing the same thing.
He follows Tommy outside and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he says sincerely.
Tommy nods, the ever-so-slight smile appearing on his face. "I know." He just looks out around them, glancing up at the sky as if trying to determine the impending weather. Buck nearly makes a joke about it, but Tommy beats him to speaking first. "I'm sorry that I walked out like that. I should have said what it was that was bothering me, but I truly needed the time to get my thoughts together."
"And that's okay. You can take all the time you need."
Tommy nods again before finally looking at Buck. "Evan, I think we both know what I'm about to say."
Buck's heart sinks to his stomach as he shakes his head. "No, I really don't."
Tommy glances over his face, frowning for a moment before fixing him with a look of... pity? "You really don't know, do you?"
Buck shakes his head, but he's pretty sure he can tell when someone is breaking up with him. So maybe he should nod, but this feels like something more than that.
Tommy puts his hands in his pockets and takes a step closer to him. "The reason I left like that wasn't because I was angry that you called me Bobby. And really, it was funny as hell given the situation."
"But?" Buck can't help but ask.
"But," Tommy continues, "It was your reaction that startled me." Buck shakes his head, confused as ever. Tommy just sighs. "Evan, you were genuinely startled by it and taken off guard. You immediately laughed it off, and I knew it was nothing. But that made me remember the other time when you said Eddie's name-"
"Which was also an accident!" Buck cuts him off, quickly, almost desperately.
The look Tommy gives Buck nearly makes him want to take the statement back. "Please, Evan. You didn't just laugh it off then, and we both know it. And we always avoided bringing it up because we both knew what happened. From the beginning, I accepted that it was only a matter of time before you figured it out."
"Figured what out?" Buck questions weakly.
Tommy pauses, seemingly debating if he's going to tell him or not. Eventually, he settles on saying, "Both times were an accident. But one was an honest mistake while the other... wasn't."
There's a moment where Buck almost brushes it off and says I don't know what you're talking about. They were both a mistake. But he can't lie to himself or Tommy anymore, and he can see the moment that Tommy registers that, expression dropping to something somber but not surprised.
"You got my attention, Evan. But whose attention was it that you were really after?" Tommy asks, slowly backing away.
"I really liked what we had!" Buck interjects before Tommy can get away.
Tommy gives him a small smile. "I did too. But we both knew it was only a matter of time." He hesitates before walking up to Buck and pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye, Evan. And go talk to Eddie, please."
Buck huffs out a small humorless laugh, experiencing a weird sense of deja vu. He watches as Tommy walks away and doesn't say anything in response because if he fucks up his name one more time, he doesn't think he will ever recover.
As he makes his way back into the station, he notices that most people are upstairs actually minding their own business. But then he catches Eddie watching him carefully and slowly approaches him.
"I take it that went well?" Eddie asks.
Buck chuckles and glances over his shoulder to where Eddie must've had a clear view of their conversation. "Were you watching me?"
Eddie shrugs. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."
He says it so casually yet sincerely that it makes Buck duck his head, trying to fight the blush that threatens to color his cheeks. "Yeah, I'll be okay."
"So, everything is good then?"
Buck pauses and considers what Tommy had said – go talk to Eddie. “Yeah, things are… good.”
Eddie raises his eyebrows slightly, definitely not believing Buck’s weird tone.
Buck sighs and looks down. “Okay. They’re not good. But they’re fine. We broke up- amicably! And… I’m fine.”
Eddie takes a step closer and tilts his head down so Buck looks him in the eye. “Are you sure?”
It takes a moment for Buck to process what Eddie has said- he always gets flustered when he stands this close. He wonders how he pushed it all down before. But he remembers all the pep talks he would give himself to confess things to Eddie before finding out he was seeing someone new, and all the times he was with Christopher and knew that he would do anything for the kid. Anything meaning not dating his dad and fucking up their whole dynamic. And that’s the thing about Buck, he never knows how to keep a good thing. And if Eddie were the one to leave… he thinks it might destroy him.
“I will be fine,” Buck insists and plasters on a smile. “And don’t worry, I won’t stop your and Tommy’s whole bromance thing. So don’t stop hanging out because of me.”
Eddie frowns and puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb resting on his collarbone. “You know you’re my best friend, right? Even if I’m out with Tommy, you can always call me, and I’ll be by your side in a heartbeat.”
“Even if he’s flown you to a different state?” Buck jokes.
“I’ll make him fly back even faster. Maybe even see if he can land where you are,” Eddie answers, smiling wide and sincerely. Buck laughs.
They remain there for a few moments just smiling at each other before the moment is interrupted. “Everything okay?” Bobby asks cautiously.
“It will be,” Buck says with a nod because it will be.
He just hopes it will be sooner rather than later.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Buck’s in Eddie’s kitchen the Thursday after the breakup, staring at the calendar with the dumb circle around the date. Basketball pick-up game with Tommy.
Jealousy still swirls in the pit of Buck’s stomach, and he’s no longer trying to fool himself that he’s jealous of Eddie. He never really has been, and he wonders if Eddie knows that. Because Thursdays are Eddie and Tommy’s night. Even with Christopher’s absence and Buck’s extended stays at Eddie’s, Thursdays are the nights Tommy comes over to distract Eddie from the emptiness for a while.
But tonight, Eddie asked Buck to come over and have dinner with him probably knowing Buck would’ve had the tiniest mini spiral on his own. And Buck wonders what he’s done to deserve such an amazing best friend.
He glances in the pantry, wondering if he should tell Eddie to cancel the pizza order he'll be picking up on his way home in favor of Buck making something that will distract him from his thoughts. Just as Buck picks up his phone, there's a rattling of keys in the front door that makes Buck nearly jump out of his skin as he rounds the corner until he sees Eddie pushing the door open.
"You're early," Buck states as he takes the pizza out of his hands.
"Basketball ended early today," Eddie replies easily.
Buck narrows his eyes at him because he's pretty sure the only way that's true is if basketball ended early only for Eddie. "Right."
"I'm going to shower. Find something for us to watch tonight."
As Eddie goes down the hall, Buck calls after him, "You know you don't have to baby me, right?"
"Who else am I supposed to baby with Chris gone?" Eddie yells back, knowing that Buck can't really argue with him. He only wishes he had something to throw at him in response. He really should've made some popcorn.
While Eddie quickly showers, Buck set the pizza down in the living room and grabs two beers, plates, and napkins before settling on the couch. He opens Netflix and goes to his account, knowing Eddie’s is full of romcom suggestions that he pretends to hate, and picks out a random true crime documentary that fulfills Buck’s thirst for random knowledge and Eddie’s thirst for drama.
Eddie joins him a few minutes later wearing slightly ratty sweatpants and an old t-shirt that clings to his chest and arms just right.
Buck averts his gaze before Eddie can catch him staring, although he thinks he might be too late because he sees Eddie watching him carefully out of the corner of his eye. Buck grabs the remote and presses play in hopes of distracting him, but weirdly enough, Eddie’s gaze never really seems to leave him. At one point, Buck even glances over and gives him a questioning look which Eddie answers with a shake of his head before looking at the TV only to glance back at Buck a few moments later.
When the documentary comes to an end, Buck has absorbed about none of it and he doubts Eddie has either. So instead of talking about it, he grabs their empty plates and heads to the kitchen hearing Eddie trailing behind him with their empty bottles.
“Want another one?” Eddie asks as Buck rinses off their plates.
Buck shakes his head. He has a feeling that Eddie is about to ask him how he’s doing or something, and although another beer won’t really affect his cognitive abilities, Buck rather not take any chances. Once he’s through with putting the plates in the dishwasher, he turns carefully and leans against the counter, locking eyes with Eddie who lingers by the fridge, eyebrows furrowed in thought.
“Is there something you need to talk to me about?” Eddie questions, throwing Buck for a loop.
“Me? I was going to ask you the same thing after you found me more entertaining than that documentary,” Buck jokes.
Eddie frowns and looks away from him. “I did not.”
“Tell me one thing that happened during it.” And Buck really hopes he doesn’t say anything because he wouldn’t be able to confirm it.
Luckily, Eddie stammers for a moment before sighing, “I was staring out of concern after Tommy said…”
Buck's heart drops to his stomach as Eddie trails off. “What did he say?”
Eddie pauses and crosses his arms. “He asked if you had talked to me, and I told him you told me about the breakup, but he acted like there was something more that you needed to say.”
Buck crosses his own arms to try to hide how much his hands are starting to shake.
“Is there more?” Eddie asks.
There’s a moment where Buck almost says, No. I don’t know what he’s talking about. But then he hesitates, wondering if this is it. This is his moment.
Before he knows it, too much time has passed for him to lie and say there’s nothing, so Buck lets out a deep breath and takes a seat before he does something dumb like lock his knees for too long and pass out mid-confession. He looks up at Eddie who begins leaning against the fridge, head framed by one of Chris’s tests with a big A on it.
“I never told you why we broke up,” Buck confesses. “I never even told you the truth about why we started dating.” He pauses and looks down, unable to look at Eddie’s reaction as he continues. “You know, when I met Tommy, I thought he was pretty cool with the whole flying-a-helicopter-through-a-hurricane-to-help-us-without-asking-any-questions thing. I mean. Who does that? So, yeah I asked him for a tour because I wanted to get to know the guy - as a friend.
“And then, I saw him with you,” Buck looks up at Eddie, reimagining the moment. “And you were so happy with him. Happier than I’d seen you in a while, and I knew I should’ve been happy that you got a new friend. But I was devastated. And I felt so guilty about it, especially after the whole basketball thing. I told Maddie about what happened, and she told me all about this best friend she had and how she got jealous when she got a new best friend, and I thought… that was it. As selfish as it was, I wanted to be your one and only best friend.”
Buck pauses, wondering if he should cross this line, but Eddie nods gently in encouragement, brows furrowed as he takes it all in, and Buck continues, “But that wasn’t it. And deep down, I think I knew what was really happening, and I didn’t want to admit it. So, I changed the narrative in my head a bit… I think? Honestly, things aren’t one hundred percent clear to me about how I repressed it - but all of a sudden I was so sure that I was jealous of you. That I was jealous of you hanging out with Tommy. And that’s what I told him before he kissed me, and things just progressed from there. And really, I was happy with our relationship, he was great, and he was… kind of like you. But…” he trails off, words on the tip of his tongue but unwilling to fully let them escape.
“But?” Eddie prompts so gently that Buck almost doesn’t hear it.
In one breath, Buck says, “But he wasn’t you.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up so fast that Buck would find it comedic if it was in any other situation. “So, you’re saying…” Eddie asks, head cocking to the side.
“Calling Tommy ‘Bobby’ was an accident,” Buck states, uncomfortably straightening up in his chair as he prepares himself for what he’s about to say. “Calling him your name was not.” And just to put the final nail in the coffin Buck says, “And it was never his attention I was after. It was yours. I wanted you, but I couldn’t handle the thought of telling you and ruining things between us. I never wanted to jeopardize our friendship or my relationship with Chris, but here I am… doing exactly that.”
Eddie purses his lips and nods for a few long moments before turning to the fridge and opening it up, grabbing two beers, and setting them on the counter.
“I’m good, Eddie.”
Eddie shakes his head. “No, these are both for me.”
Buck feels his entire being shrink in on itself and he wonders if this is the worst rejection he’s ever felt.
“To think,” Eddie clarifies quickly, walking over to place a hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb soothing over his collarbone. “About everything you said - which absolutely won’t ruin our relationship or your relationship with Chris. I promise. I just need a few minutes.”
And that’s all Buck needed to hear to know no matter the result of this conversation, things would be okay.
He stands up quickly, suggesting, “Why don’t I let you sleep on it?”
Eddie gives him a look mid sip that says no before he can actually say anything. “The only way you’re letting me sleep on it is if you stay the night on the couch because I’m not letting you doom spiral in your apartment.”
“I wasn’t going to…” Buck trails off when Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Okay, yeah, I would’ve spiraled on my own. But let me at least give you some space to think.”
Eddie nods, eyes staring off into space entirely unfocused.
Buck quietly says, “Okay,” under his breath and goes to the living room, closing the kitchen door behind him. He takes a deep breath and settles on the couch, trying to make himself comfortable but failing entirely. He takes out his phone and starts typing a message to Maddie saying this is probably crazy but remember that time you said something like whatever I had to tell Eddie I would tell him in my own time? well, guess who just found out what you meant by that and told their best friend they’re in love with them???
But then he remembers Maddie will tell Chimney and Chimney will tell Hen and Hen will tell Karen and Athena and Athena would tell Bobby and… really he does not want everyone to know he confessed his feelings for Eddie before Eddie has time to process those feelings.
Buck sighs and goes through his apps before going to Google and looking through whatever is trending in searches before going down a rabbit hole that becomes a fairly decent distraction until he thinks Man, I need to send this article to Eddie. Then he gets an achy feeling in his chest.
Quite a few minutes pass before Buck gets a sudden dry feeling in his mouth and he realizes he needs water. This is arguably the worst time to need water when the kitchen is off-limits, but he doesn’t think he could drink straight from Eddie’s bathroom sink faucet without feeling weird about it. Plus, he’s sure Eddie will understand, and he won’t interrupt his moment if he’s quick about it.
So, Buck makes his way to the kitchen, pulling the door open only to find Eddie pushing it open on the other side.
“Hey,” Buck says with a small smile.
“Hey,” Eddie responds, eyes trailing over Buck’s features as if taking them in for the first time.
A few seconds pass before Buck finally asks, “Do you mind if I get some water?”
Eddie shakes his head and steps back out of Buck’s way. But as Buck steps forward, Eddie shakes his head and says, “Wait, I’ll get it for you.”
Buck frowns, trying to interpret Eddie's body language, but he's not sure if he's ever seen him so... nervous or maybe... flustered?
As Eddie walks back to where Buck is lingering in the doorway, his eyes roam over Buck before he snaps himself out of it, shaking his head and handing Buck a glass of water. He turns and rubs his hands over his face. "Dios," he mumbles.
Buck doesn't say anything as he sips on his water, leaning against the doorframe and taking in Eddie's spiral. It's simultaneously comforting and nerve-wracking. After a few moments of silence, Buck finally asks, "You okay?"
Eddie pauses and glances up at him. Buck's almost sure that Eddie is about to lie and say he's fine, but right as he opens his mouth, he closes it and shakes his head. Buck wants to step forward and comfort him, but he hesitates, wondering if the push into Eddie's space will scare him away.
Eddie takes a few steps toward Buck, effectively making Buck feel pinned up against the doorframe. "I have been trying to replace the hole Shannon left in my life since she passed. And I've been finding all these replacements that never felt right. Hell, I found Shannon's doppelganger, and it still wasn't right. And I always thought that she was just irreplaceable. And I was right. No one will ever be Shannon, and no one will be able to replace her role in Christopher's life or what I had with her. And that’s okay. But... while I pursued all these women for the wrong reasons, I never realized that Shannon wasn't the only reason why things never worked out."
Eddie takes a deep breath and takes another step closer to Buck. "There was always this small part of me that knew that no matter what happened with my relationships, it didn't matter because you would always be there - for me and Christopher. But I never really considered that this," Eddie makes a quick motion between him and Buck, "could even be an option. And I feel..." He trails off as he stares at Buck.
"Uncomfortable?" Buck asks slightly cowering in on himself, prepared for the mental hit Eddie's answer will be.
Eddie gives him a flat look, completely shutting down all of Buck's thoughts. "Like an idiot," he states as if it's the most obvious answer. Eddie crosses his arms and takes another step toward him. "I mean, I’ve always known you were attractive. Sometimes I would wonder what it would be like to be one of your girlfriends – especially when they didn’t treat you right. I would imagine what I would do if I was them.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, “Hell, I used to call Ana your name often enough that Chris tried to make it an inside joke. At the bachelor party, I really should've known though because as soon as I saw you and Tommy together I felt... awful." Eddie laughs and shakes his head. "For a minute there, I was confused as hell wondering if I was suddenly homophobic."
Buck can't help but burst out laughing.
"It's true!" Eddie laughs and hits Buck on the arm. "I had to reevaluate my feelings when Karen and Hen walked in, and I became very aware that it was just a you and Tommy thing. Then, I thought maybe I was just jealous seeing you close to Tommy or maybe seeing Tommy close to you. But that didn't really make sense because I've been so excited whenever you hit it off with anyone else in my life."
"So, how did you rationalize that thought?" Buck asks, curiosity getting the best of him.
"I got blackout drunk and didn't think about it again." The answer is so immediate that Buck can't help but laugh again. Eddie smiles at him and nudges him on the shoulder. "I should say, I didn't think about it again until about half an hour or so ago"
Buck can't help but look at him a bit bashfully. "Sorry about that."
"Don't be," Eddie says, hand landing on Buck's shoulder. "Don't ever be sorry about telling me how you feel even if it sends me into an identity crisis of sorts."
Buck cocks his head to the side. "Identity crisis meaning...?"
"I might be into guys?" Eddie says more as a question than an answer, but it still makes Buck's heart skip a beat. "I'm not sure," Eddie confesses. He pauses, eyes roaming over Buck before breathing out, "I think I might just be into you."
Buck's brain lags for a few seconds as he processes what he's been dreaming about hearing practically since he met Eddie. After replaying the words in his head a few times, he can't help but ask, "Might?" But before Eddie can answer, Buck leans over far enough to set his glass down and effectively crowd into Eddie's space, "Because I know a way for us to confirm that you're definitely into me."
"Is that so?" Eddie asks, an amused smile gracing his face. The hand on Buck's shoulder slowly yet firmly travels up his shoulder to the back of his neck. "Do you want to show me?"
Buck doesn't trust any words that are about to come out of his mouth, so he lets out a shaky breath and nods, already feeling his cheeks flush and his eyelashes flutter involuntarily.
Eddie raises his eyebrows at him, and they both share a moment of this is really about to happen.
As they move closer together, Buck is sure something is going to interrupt them - like an alarm or an unwanted knock on the door.
But Buck's nose brushes against Eddie's gently, and then there's a breath shared between them before their lips connect gently.
Buck breathes in sharply, heart pounding in his chest, and Eddie responds by weaving his other arm around Buck's waist and pulling him in deeper as if he's trying to make them one whole entity. And who is Buck to deny him his wish?
Buck suddenly remembers that he also has arms which he uses to cup Eddie's face, and then he backs them up until his back is suddenly colliding with Eddie's fridge.
Eddie pulls back momentarily to make sure he's okay, and Buck laughs breathlessly before pulling him back in.
It feels like his first time on the job as a firefighter, the first time he and Eddie truly worked together as a team, and the first time he met Christopher. It feels right.
Buck smiles so wide that he has to pull away with a laugh that sounds almost like a sob, but he doesn't try to stop the happy tears that escape - especially when he sees Eddie in a similar state.
They both stare at each other in disbelief for a moment as they laugh and pull each other into a hug.
"I definitely just like you," Eddie chokes out.
Buck laughs and squeezes Eddie a little tighter.
They linger in the hug for a few moments longer than they usually would, swaying slightly. They slowly pull back to look at each other before resting their foreheads together. “This is real, right?” Buck questions quietly.
He can feel Eddie nod before he says, “It better be.”
Buck laughs softly. He pulls back and notices a faraway look in Eddie’s eyes. “You okay?”
Eddie nods and looks down. “I just wish Chris was here for this. He would probably roll his eyes at me and tell me that you were right in front of me the whole time. Or maybe he’d also feel like an idiot for not realizing that you’re all we need.”
Buck cups Eddie’s face again and redirects his gaze at him. “Hey, we’ll get to know what he thinks soon, okay? In the meantime, don’t you think it’s better that we work out all the kinks of turning what we had into something more before getting Chris involved?”
Eddie nods and laughs softly. “Of course, you already want to fix what we have before it's really begun.”
“I’m the guy who likes to fix things,” Buck says with a smile. “But I don’t think there’s much to fix here, you know?”
“Other than the years of dates, kisses, and declarations of love that I need to make up for,” Eddie comments cheesily.
Buck cocks his head to the side and feels his cheeks turning red. “Wow. Eddie Diaz is a romantic.”
“For you, I sure am,” Eddie flirts.
Buck can almost hear Christopher groaning at the line. “Declarations of love?” Buck recalls out loud.
A pinch forms between Eddie’s brows. “Yeah. You know that I love you.”
Buck frowns and tilts his head. “Really? Because I don’t think we’ve ever truly said that to each other.”
Eddie looks off as if trying to recall every moment they’ve spent together. He frowns and looks at Buck. “Another thing that should’ve made things obvious to us.” Buck laughs as Eddie smiles and grabs his shoulder. “But, just so you’re totally aware, Evan… I love you.”
“Yeah?” Buck asks with a big smile, already pulling Eddie back in for another kiss.
“Yeah,” Eddie mumbles against his lips.
A few moments later, Buck quickly pulls away and says, “I love you, too, by the way.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Buck laughs, “Good. But I’m still going to spend as long as I can proving to you that I love you more than you know. That I love you and Christopher more than you both know.”
Eddie smiles at him so sweetly that Buck almost forgets that he’s allowed to openly stare – more than that… he gets to openly stare at that smile forever. “And we’re going to do the same for you.” There’s a pause before Eddie gets a slight mischievous glint in his eye. “Just try to refrain from calling me ‘Bobby,’ okay?”
Buck sighs and rolls his eyes, pulling away to put his glass in the sink.
There’s a sudden loud chime, and a moment later Eddie gasps.
Buck turns to find Eddie turning the phone to him with a text from Christopher reading I’m ready to come home Dad. Love you.
“Scratch what we said about working out the kinks?” Buck says with a breathless laugh.
Eddie nods and kisses him. “Let’s go get our kid.”
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hecksupremechips · 3 months
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Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#virtues last reward#yeahhhhh just having so many thoughts about akane and sigma and junpei and yeah im screaming eyes bloodshot#i want akane to just like post 999 just do silly shit with aoi get a cat be a gamer try to heal the best she can#and i want her to be so evil i think theres still some crimes she hasnt committed yet she should do those#i really really really want her and junpei to just beat the shit out of each other in a boxing ring. specifically post vlr#need them being old as shit throwing chairs everyone is cheering#and damn like vlr akane just cant agree with junpei on his philosophy that a life with pain is still a life worth living cuz then thatd mean#everything she did in 999 was all for naught like to accept even the bad timelines where she died as valuable...#thats a kick to the dick especially when she fought so hard to live and how her death was so unfair#except she was just a scared kid with no choice then. now whats her excuse#i just want it to be possible you know? possible that akane didnt need to do this and she couldve been happy#cuz yeah the trauma would be horrible but surely itd be better than the trauma she has now since she took that dive#i wonder if she knows that no matter what she does she’ll never erase her trauma and eventually she will have to face it#or if she actually believes she can figure it all out and win the perfect timeline and magical mental stability will happen#basically akane is avoiding therapy soooooo hard but then again who would even be her therapist#no one can possibly understand her...right?
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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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sonknuxadow · 4 months
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also im gonna say it . sega were cowards for having being fat and having a big nose be signature robotnik traits and then only making the men in the family look like that
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deadrlngers · 2 years
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❝It was believed that the marriage between lady Arianne Aspasia of House Vance of Wayfarer's Rest and Colton of House Celtigar was one of love. A claim that held only a partial truth: the affection lord Colton felt for his dear wife was undeniable, while the rumors surronding lady Arianne spoke of a deep closeness she only ever shared with her childhood friend, princess Rhaenyra Targaryen. Though, the union gave life to two twins: Visenyra Cornelia Celtigar and Maegar Lucretio Celtigar. At their birth, the siblings were graciously gifted with two dragon eggs of princess Rhaenyra’s she-dragon Syrax, a most precious gift from the woman they would grow to consider almost as a second mother. The favoritism and even the curious naming of the Celtigar twins, undeniably reminiscent of House Targaryen offspring, kept the realm whispering about the true nature of lady Arianne and princess Rhaenyra relation.❞
#hello no thoughts i'm posting the hotd ocs on main#the day i will make gifs too it's the day you all will know i'm too far gone to be saved#anyways jfdnfk i don't even know how to tag this#*ocstuff#mine#hotd#oc: arianne#oc: colton#oc: visenyra#oc: maegar#ok now's the part where i go insane with facts. mh ari and rhae love each other end of the take have a nice day everyone#something something 'if i can't dream of our family i'll make yours mine and you'll make mine yours'#rhae giving the not-targ kids of the woman she absolutely doesn't love at all mh-mh like: (twirling hair) they would look cute with our-I#MEAN YOURS. YOURS KIDS. nfsdkjfn also ari is a dragonrider bc i decided she claims a..uh unclaimed dragon bc shes sexy and cool#she has a lil personal name for him (which i still need to fully decide on) but for everyone her dragon goes by full title. the lord of the#skies...ari is such a lil show off ksdjfkf. also house celtigar has valyrian blood going on too. i chose it exactly bc i wanted the twins to#have the white hair fashion <33 as it stands rn with my Lore everyone here dies after the dance beside maegar (FOR NOW) so f. vhanya has a#very on brand toxic relationship with u know who if u saw me post at least once about this show sdjfk and mmmh dare i say ari chose each#name for her kids with rhae...colton standing there like uhh i'm the father u know? SHUT UP wifey is naming the kids with her girlfriend#also lil fun fact before i shut up forever: when i made ari i just went yea VANCE surely there's NO house vance in here (later discoveries#pointed out i'm a clown but luckly i exactly needed a forgettable house of no-ones for her. vance who?) anyways it's all cool bc incredibly?#one branch of house vance supports the blacks during the dance and idk the coincidences of life huh
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im2tired4usernames · 4 months
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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
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cherrysnax · 4 months
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oh yeah we were also wondering why we flock to media with dead kids that haunt the narrative both figuratively and literally and uh :) yeah we know why
#child death tw#rowan seemed so much older when we were kids#but realistically she was barely like 14#maybe even 12 or 13#Jason Todd chara and asriel. them mfs from fnaf and maria#they’re dead kids but at the end of the day they’re all apart of someone else’s story#and a lot of them come back. in one way shape or form#with the exception of maria they all come back wrong and hurt and twisted by their deaths#but still deserving of love. still craving it more than anything#being a vessel for someone else’s opinions. barely even themselves#rowan died. and a part of us died with her#that was probably uh.. yknow. That guys last real time being here#cheri took all the stuff as kid. all of it happened to them but buddy boy was still kinda around#and then rowan died and then. She did too#and then Jay had to take over for years and then cheri came back but didn’t know they were cheri until#like they were 17 because they just repressed repressed repressed#and obviously those are very shallow views of those characters#but to a hurting kid who resonated so much with them they were everything#I have no clue why I’m so introspective tonight#but my friends do call me the emotion guy so#I guess it means something. but yeah something died in us when rowan died#but something was also born. rowan was a person. a little girl who should’ve grown up and that’ll never change#but I think this year is the year that we learn to let her go#im happy i got the chance to know her when we did#I hope she’s a fucking butterfly or something really cool like an alligator if her next life#also we already knew why we flocked to this media because duh. but like it helps to know which part of us needs more healing#who needs a therapist when you have me ;)
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rubywolf0201 · 2 years
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Do I ever find it disturbing that the Sonic fandumb’s hatred for Amy Rose tends to to border on extremely disgusting to a degree?
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arlathen · 1 year
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i see “your parents actually werent around much” and say “that isnt angsty enough and doesnt channel my personal trauma in a way i want”
#cw for addiction and suicide in the following tags my besties <3#both of her parents were definitely addicts. i think her dad was also a musician and like. at first it was drinking#and then it was opiates at parties and then it was heroin.#he died. i think. right around when she met seven. right before. seven never met him. so she was. what they met in 7th grade?#she was 12. and she got into an honest to god fight with her dad and screamed that he was ruining their family.#& he stormed out. and. she doesn't actually know. she was 12 and no one would tell her. all she knows is that she hurt him.#and then he was dead. as an adult she wonders if it was an intentional OD or just he was upset and did too much.#as a kid there was just such a clear line between 'she was hurt and said something cruel and someone she loved got hurt'#i mean of fucking course it has a profound impact on her. but she's pretty reserved because of it. and careful w her words and actions.#(seven is the only person she was ever vulnerable with and that ended badly too innit <3)#anyway her mom is still around. she's a garden variety alcoholic. after what happened to her husband she's tried to quit a few times.#she always relapses. she thinks florrie hates her. she's terrified to reach out or say anything to her.#florrie is afraid to invest in her or really get close because. well. she was close to her dad.#miss ma'am doesn't HAVE any secure attachments. she doesn't HAVE anyone she can be vulnerable with.#she's not going to put any kind of trust in someone who seems to her to be unstable.#which i think is part of her little crush on orion. her life is a mess man she's a little bisexual disaster.#oh also i think she has a sister. i haven't decided older or younger. she's estranged and kind of pissed at florrie.#they were close as teenagers but once golden hour took off florrie prioritized the band a few too many times#and left her sister to deal with their mom. and her sister just kind of went. 'fuck it fuck you all' and fucked off to london.#they text each other happy birthday usually. that's about it.#carly.txt#carly's ocs#oc: florrie#brother you know i'm down bad for an oc when i start writing tag essays.
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jacksintention · 1 year
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At times I can be wrong of course, but often I think it's so obvious that someone's view on a character or story (and most of the time lack of sympathy/understanding) is caused by a lack of personal experience
#I notice this with depressive characters‚ mistreated characters‚ revengeful characters and especially suicidal characters#I saw someone's post about how they are very prosaic and can't see Hea.thclif.f as anything but a (fascinating) villain and like...#I would have my suspicions but in this particular case I know for a fact that person has a good relationship with her parents#She was never mistreated in her own home#The steps of her parents didn't make her shiver. She was never hit or insulted or humiliated#Her parents' influence in her life is positive. They worked to help her achieve her goals and supported her#I don't know... It sure is a change. I can't see Hea.thclif.f's actions as just villainous or unjustified even if they're awful#In his case there's also a component of racism. Even if he takes revenge also on the kids of the people that hurt him‚#I still can't see it as entirely baseless or unjustified or 'beyond limits'. Maybe they're not actively to blame for what happened to him#But they passively participate in it. They are part of what hurt him. They *are* what hurt him. Even beyond being 'the kids of'#And He.ath.cli.ff himself was a blameless kid when most things happened to him. Is he terrible at that point to the kids? Yes#But I can't see him just as a fascinating villain and I can't see that his actions go beyond what's 'right' or 'fair'#I too would want to make my parents' life a living hell until the day they died if I didn't have younger siblings idk xD#Anyway I often feel this happens with people's perception of many characters in this manga. Such as Vincent#But Lacie too and I'd say mainly Jack#It doesn't mean a lack of experience makes a character impossible to be understood or even understood well. I don't believe that#But I do think often readers fall into a misunderstanding or bafflement or lack of sympathy (or excessive sympathy) for a few characters#because of this‚ because they lack some experiences. Maybe it's because they just go with vibes#Although often even after analysing they just reach conclusions that are so lacking of certain emotions that still I think they're telling#of their lack of sympathy and personal experience. This person analyses and reads W.uther.ing H.eigh.ts constantly for example#She doesn't go just on vibes like when people just claim 'Jack is nuts'#I guess her approach more like that one post about how Jack is a symbol of depression and many others analysing him#Oouf Jack analysis is so bad as a whole I'd rather stop thinking about it haha#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#I remember once I was trying to have a conversation about Jack‚ how he behaved around people and how it was linked to his past experiences#But mainly about his complex relationships with Laci.e and Oswald (which included some talk on sexuality)#and how I find them very coherent and tbh realistic and natural given the context‚ and in many ways very relatable#And that person's reply was 'okay but Jack's a sociopath and that kind of behaviour in any way and degree is sociopathic'#Like idk. Okay I guess
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rescuefield-arch1 · 1 year
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the thing i find funny is that in general there's a lot of material for claire's life from 19 to 32 but im lowkey dying to write her in a more mature setting 😭
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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Had an absolutely wild dream last night
#i was in this piece of media.. i’m being vague because i don’t really know what it was. podcast with video elements? tv show? movie?#some sort of anthology of found footage? video novel? multimedia? who knows#but i was also sort of watching it unfold#and i don’t remember all the details but there was this town and a specific catastrophe kept happening there#it had happened at least once years ago (maybe a generation ago; long enough that not everyone there remembered) and was happening again now#and what it was was… i can only say murder zombies#about half the people would be trying to kill everyone else and the other half would be running from it but would get pursued by the murder#zombies. like to the point that years on there were people who had gone into hiding and the murder zombies were still after them#and there was always the chance that if they died they’d come back. or new ones would be created? i’m not really sure#one thing i remember was that there were these three specific people who got out: a single father (maybe widowed by murder zombies);#his teenage daughter; and his male best friend who he’d decided to marry so he could 1) change his name for anonymity#and 2) they could raise his daughter together (they got out of murder zombie-ville & got married when she was a toddler i guess)#and i just remember being like. wow. this show (or whatever media it was) really went to the trouble of writing two men who are married#but at the last second was like ‘they’re not gay though. they married for tax benefits’ like??? is this representation. what is this#do straight men do this?? i heard of two women on tiktok who are married so they can raise their kids together but they aren’t together#i just don’t think men would want to deal with the stigma for very long#so then i was speculating that they were closeted but like…… closeted with a husband?? you literally didn’t have to marry him#why would my subconscious do this lmao. i mean the whole thing (murder zombies not just platonic husbands) is a Concept. but why#personal
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guinevereslancelot · 2 months
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not my new co teacher being a literal high school meangirl tiktoker 😬
#she's just filling in thank goodness but she's worse than useless lol#i heard she was from the other classrooms she's usually in tho#she's kind of nice but she's literally sitting there on the phone or texting while she's supposed to be watching the kids#she was on the phone at naptime yesterday and i could not get her attention for my life to get her to settle one of the kids#bc i couldnt make noise and no amount of arm waving could penetrate the tiktok hypnosis she would not have looked my way if i died#phones are allowed at naptime but you still need to be aware of your surroundings and no calls but she did take a call too and was unaware#also she's constantly texting when the kids are awake?? i would get fired for that idk how she's getting away w it#but when ur watching 17 toddlers you're basically a lifeguard you're not supposed to take your eyes off them even to speak to other teachers#bc even with 3 or 4 teachers watching there's always something out of sight thats going to go wrong#its impossible to watch all of them#and they will get hurt#and thats when you're all focusing#also when she does witness unsafe behavior she doesnt move#she just sits there and says no dont do that#but doesnt physically remove the 1 year old who does not listen to verbal correction from the unsafe situation???#she just sits there and scolds them until another teacher intervenes physically every single time 😭#not once has a child stopped because she told them to#anyway#not to be a bitter adult shaking my fist at The Youth but she's so bad lol#i hate to be correcting her all the time so im letting her get away w stuff i would be executed for#and i did 3 of our 4 rounds of diapers yesterday bc she doesnt know how#she's nice to your face basically but she's really gossipy and mean abt others so you know she's speaking badly abt you too
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icepopstar5105us · 3 months
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“Hey. Uh, Johnny?” Danny said awkwardly, “What does it mean when one of the older ghosts calls you their favored and why does it freak people out?”
Johnny 13 gave the halfa a bewildered look, “Dude. Didn’t you listen to Death? At all?”
“Death?” Danny scrunched his face, “What do you mean? I don’t…”
“Wait.” Johnny straightened, “You’ve talked with Death, right? She explained-?”
Danny shook his head, confused, “Was I supposed to?”
“When you first died, she’s supposed to appear. She gives a whole spiel and then transfers a bunch of information.” Johnny frowned, “She did it for Plasmius, so it’s not a halfa thing.”
“Oh.” Danny looked down, “What if… What if someone died and came back a few times very quickly? Would that… Would that cause any problems?”
Johnny stilled, horrified, “Ok. Look, do you want to talk about your death? Because I’m not asking if you don’t, but...”
“I guess…” Danny said, “So you know that my parents made the portal, right?”
“Yeah.” Johnny said.
“They’d been trying to do it for a long time. Plasmius actually worked with them for a while back when they were in college. It’s why all of their tech is similar in design.” Danny explained, “They built the thing, plugged it in, turned it on… and nothing.”
“But it works now.” Johnny frowned.
“Yeah. It does.” Danny nodded, “But remember my friends? Sam and Tucker?”
“The edgy emo and the computer geek?”
“As Sam’s friend, I am obligated to inform you that she is goth not emo… but yes, those two.” Danny smiled sadly, “My mom and dad were upset. They left the house and Jazz was working her shift at a library. The whole house was empty and I was… you know. A normal teenager home alone.”
Johnny snorted at that, “Ah yes. A completely normal teenager
“Yeah, yeah. The point is, the first thing I did after being left home alone was call my friends over.” Danny rolled his eyes, “Told them what happened and… It was Sam who suggested we go down there first — she’s always been into ghost and occult stuff — and look around. Tucker was down, because it was tech even if we didn’t think most of the tech would work. He wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to mess around with it. Jazz had given me some lectures on lab safety — my parents don’t usually follow it themselves — and I had a bad feeling so I put on the Hazmat suit.”
“That’s not a superhero costume you came up with?” Johnny asked, eyes widening.
“No, um. It’s a hazmat suit. The only way I changed my form was the insignia and even then that was Sam’s idea.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, but um….” Danny paused, “We wound up standing outside the portal. It wasn’t working or anything, but there was a big spooky metal hole in the wall. You know, the kind of thing you’d expect in sci-fi movies. Sam dared me to go in and I was nervous. That bad feeling just intensified, but again — fourteen. I wasn’t being smart about it. So… I went into it. I kept going and it was dark. I was turning back when I tripped and I flailed. Accidentally hit some button that was on the side and it turned on.”
Johnny took a sharp breath.
“And um. Did you know that the portal takes a lot of electricity to start up?” Danny joked weakly, “Took three blocks worth. Um, lots of ectoplasm, too — from both the zone and the artificial stuff my parents use.” He shuffled, “So um, turns out both those things can revive and kill people. So I just kind of — died and revived a lot until it turned on and basically spat me out into the lab.
“That’s - Kid…”
“So um, maybe since I was dying and reviving so much death didn’t have a chance to fill me in? Honestly, would have like the heads up.” Danny said sheepishly, “I didn’t even understand what had happened until ghosts started coming through the portal.”
“Seriously?”
Danny shrugged, “I mean, I kind of suspected. I was falling through floors. It was hard to ignore, but I didn’t know - My parents are good inventors, but not the best scientists and it made things hard to figure out.”
“What? You bought that whole non-sentient BS?”
“No.” Danny shook his head, “I just didn’t buy any of it — and I mean none of it. I wanted nothing to do with the whole thing. The whole town thought my parents were crazy, they were always in the lab working, and I only ever saw them briefly once or twice a day. Don’t get me wrong. They’re still my parents and I love them, but… they have two big priorities. Their work and their kids. Their work is just… a higher priority to them.”
“Oh.” Johnny cringed, “Oh. Kid…”
“So yeah. Life sucks. Death sucks… but I really need to know what to do and why Ember is freaking out over me being called ‘favored one’.”
“Uh, right.” Johnny paused, “Well, it’s like old ghost language. Um. Basically, it’s like being called a really, really close friend or adopted family. Kind of like… ‘hey, this is my person that I love and protect’. It’s platonic unless they specify otherwise.”
“Huh, okay.” Danny blinked, “That makes sense, but why would Ember freak out?”
“Well… who called you that?”
“Oh! Clockwork and Pandora call me that when I visit.”
Johnny blanched, “What?”
“And now you’re freaking out, too.”
“You’ve been just- Kid! Are you just casually talking to them?”
“Um, yeah? They said it was okay?”
“Do you know nothing about the hierarchy of the- Wait. No. You didn’t get to talk to Death. Of course you don’t-“ Johnny sighed — covering his eyes, “Okay, so do you know what the ancients are?”
“I thought that was just a saying.”
“No, it’s not-” Johnny pinched the bridge of his nose, “The Ancients are the most powerful spirits in the Zone. They’re ghosts, but they resemble ideals more than they do a person most of the time. Practically gods. The ancients are Undergrowth, Frostbite, Nocturne, Pandora, Clockwork, Vortex, and Pariah Dark. Thing is… where most ghosts plateau at a certain power level the ancients can just keep growing in power. Clockwork is one of the strongest — so strong, the Observants bound him to their will.”
“Yeah, I heard about that, but he’s really nice, you know.” Danny smiled, “And he makes really good cookies really fast.”
Johnny stared at Danny for a long moment, “Danny. Do you not hear yourself right now? He’s basically the god of time.”
“Yeah, but if he didn’t want me to visit, I wouldn’t be able to find him.” Danny shrugged, “So he told me if I can see the clocktower, I’m welcome to come in.”
“Kid…”
“Besides. I’m friends with half of those guys and they’re cool.”
“Wha- How many ancients do you know?”
“Um… All the ones you just listed? I’m friends with Frostbite, Pandora, and Clockwork. I fought Undergrowth, Vortex and Nocturne before, but Nocturne likes me now. Um, Undergrowth doesn’t like me, though. Loves Sam, though… Um, obviously I know who Pariah Dark is after the whole thing in Amity-“
Johnny stilled, “Wait a minute… Kid. I need you to answer me honestly here… Did Pariah ever mention a challenge when you fought him?”
“Well, um. I guess? He was all formal speak, though, so…”
“Kid.” Johnny said very slowly, “Did he ever issue a challenge or accept a challenge from you?”
“… Um. He did say that he accepted my challenge or something, but wasn’t that just fight-talk or…”
“I think I get it now.” Johnny sighed, facepalming, “Just… maybe don’t tell people about this and consider asking one of the ancients allies you have about what Pariah accepting your challenge means for you.”
“For me? What-“
“Just… give it some thought.” Johnny paused, “And- Well, I can talk to Ember for you, yeah?”
“Thanks.”
Danny curled up on a sofa as Pandora embraced him with three arms and ran her fourth hand through his hair.
“Pandora.” Danny said softly, “Some of my friends say you, Frostbite, and Clockwork are ancients.”
“They are correct.”
“I didn’t know what ancients were.”
“I noticed.” Pandora laughed a bit, “But you’re a sweet child. You helped me get my box back and did not demand my favor. Perhaps it was selfish not to tell you, but I didn’t want to distress you. You are a kind and humble soul. Is it such a surprise I wish to continue seeing you?”
“You thought I would stop if I did?” Danny asked, confused, “I mean, sure my other friends were shaken up by it, but they don’t know you. Why would I be afraid when you’re so nice?”
Pandora blinked and then smiled warmly — a little laugh pulling from her throat. Oh, the innocence of such a young spirit, “Why, indeed? I suppose I didn’t give you or myself enough credit, did I?”
Danny shrugged, “I don’t have room to judge people for being different anyway. I’m a halfa. Pretty sure that’s even rarer than being an Ancient, right?”
“I suppose that is true.” Pandora smiled, “There are only a few halfas and none are quite like you. There will only ever be one of you.”
“Does this have something to do with why I never got to meet death?” Danny asked, confused, “That’s the only thing I can find that seems all that different-“
“In a way… Yes, but there are many more differences. The main one is that you powers have grown beyond Vlad Masters and they continue to do so.” Pandora said, “You are what we call a ‘Juna Potenco’. Most realms will never have heard of such things, but us ancients do not forget and when faced with a gift like yourself… well, you’ll only see more of us with time.”
“What does that mean? Is it bad?”
“No, no. It is a gift, not a punishment.” Pandora promised, “You are an inspiring soul, favored one, and it seems the realms themselves have seen that.”
“That doesn’t sound right.” Danny pulled away and sat up as he shook his head, “I’m a halfa, but that’s what I am. It doesn’t say anything about who I am. There isn’t anything special about who I am.”
“Everyone else disagrees with that last statement.” Pandora shook her head, “But I will let you in on the secret.”
“Yeah?”
“These are not due to your half spirit nature, but something truly special.” Pandora cupped his cheek, “Danny, do you truly wish to know? As amazing as this is, I am not sure you will be ready for the truth just yet.”
“I’m - I’ve been debating what colleges to apply for, but… I don’t know if any of them will take me now with my grades. I still look fourteen — fifteen at the oldest… and I still feel fourteen.” Danny looked at Pandora with pleading eyes, “So if this would impact my future, I think I’d like to know. Before things get complicated.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Suddenly, everything froze.
Danny looked up to see Clockwork putting a medallion on Pandora while Frostbite gave him a smile.
“I presume you’re here to assist in informing him?” Pandora asked.
“Indeed.” Frostbite nodded.
“Informing me of what?” Danny asked, confused.
“When you went to face Pariah Dark, you stated your intention to fight him.” Clockwork said, “And he accepted your challenge. You fought in single combat, removed the Crown of Fire from his head, and then managed to get him into the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep.”
“Vlad-“
“Plasmius might have locked the Sarcophagus, but you have repeatedly bested him and even when he has gotten the best of you, it has not been in single combat. However, Plasmius at one point claimed your fight was a ‘fun challenge’. You agreed — officially accepting it as such. When you defeated him, he lost any fragile claim to the throne.”
“Claim to the- Wait. What are you saying?” Danny glanced between them, “What? No. No… you have to be kidding me. I’m just me. I was trying to help, not-“
“Child, your soul was always going to be tied to the zone one way or another.” Pandora said, “Mortality is already a fragile thing, but someone so surrounded by ectoplasm at a young age all while experiencing the struggles you did with your parents absence… it was inevitable that you would be a powerful ghost.”
“But, then, Great One.” Frostbite continued, “You stood fully emerged in the space between worlds and thought of protection and forgiveness — mercy. You did not even consider vengeance or desires of your own. Only the wellbeing of others. It is an act of great sacrifice and not one many can complete so fully.”
“To put it simply, Danny.” Pandora said, “You’re one of us, Juna Protenco. New and young power that will grow infinitely. Though you are far from ancient, you will be with time.”
“An ancient to be.” Danny said distantly.
“The Ancient of Protection, Space, Mercy, and Matter.” Clockwork turned into his newborn form, “The best candidate for king we’ve had in a long time. Though, perhaps I am a bit biased.”
“Does it have something to do with space-time?” Danny guessed, “Because Matter, Time, and Space…”
“Correct.” Clockwork smirked, “Matter tells spacetime how to curve, and curved spacetime tells matter how to move. I guide you and you make changes that I will use to guide you again.”
Dannu blinked, “Oh. I get it.”
“You do?” Pandora blinked.
“That’s domains for you.” Frostbite chuckled and then quickly explained when Danny gave him a confused look, “We all innately understand our domains and their meanings. My domain is progression, society, and advancement.”
“Mine is responsibility, hope, protection, and perseverance.” Pandora revealed.
“Indeed.” Clockwork transformed into the middle aged man again, “But now that you know of your future, we must prepare.” He put his hand on Danny’s shoulder, “Your coronation must happen by the time you turn eighteen. As Ghost King, you will need to learn some diplomatic skills. We will teach you while you finish your human schooling.” Clockwork promised, “You can tell your parents the truth or you can say you are simply leaving for college, but Maddie and Jack Fenton cannot move to the Zone with you. Your sister is welcome. Your friends are welcome, but unfortunately…”
“I understand.” Danny lowered his head, “I don’t think I’ll tell them just yet. Maybe I’ll leave a note or a video, but…”
Clockwork’s eyes glazed over briefly — clearly checking the timeline.
“That is a good idea.” Clockwork nodded.
“Okay.” Danny swallowed, “I can’t -”
“No.” Clockwork said, “Honored as these two would be, they have their duties and people. They cannot. I am both bound by the Observants and a little too prone to acts of selfishness. It is too much power for me. No. It must be you.”
“You’re not selfish. You helped me.” Danny tilted his head, confused.
Clockwork chuckled guiltily as Pandora made a face and Frostbite shifted awkwardly.
“There is a reason people fear me, Danny.” Clockwork seemed more amused than anything by the sudden awkwardness, “I appreciate your trust in me, but I was not so good or kind in life. I hold domain over regret and retribution as well as time. It is a position I earned after giving and getting both in equal measure. I am not a protective spirit by nature. I am one that seeks justice and sometimes revenge.”
“I don’t get it.” Danny frowned, confused.
“Soon, you will.” Clockwork said grimly, “But for now… Trust me when I say all is as it should be.”
“Okay.” Danny said, “I trust you.”
“Now, time in.” Clockwork said. When Danny tried to give him the medallion he shook his head, “No, hold onto it. I believe it goes without saying, but do not lose it.”
“I know. I won’t.” Danny promised.
“Good, now… I believe you have some friends to talk to?”
“Er, right!” Danny said and rushed off.
“He doesn’t know who you are?” Frostbite turned to Clockwork, “And you haven’t told him?”
“… He’ll learn during his studies.” Clockwork admitted begrudgingly, “And it’s best that he come to me after he processes the information than during.”
“Just remember, Kronos.” Pandora glared as she handed over her medallion, “One wrong move-“
“Yes, yes, I am very aware of your opinions of me, Keeper of Hope.” Clockwork held a hand to Frostbite, “Shall I take you back to your people?”
“Er, yes.”
“Good, then-“
“Hey! I was not finished-“
“TIME OUT!”
Pandora sighed as they disappeared, “Ugh. He is always such a petty menace. One of these days…”
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