#but my friends do call me the emotion guy so

[sweetluna20]

me and you

hopkins paige x hopkins reader 

angsty… kinda

you and paige have been childhood friends both growing up in minnesota. you guys were basically inseparable, where ever you go, paige goes and vice versa. when paige went on fiba u17 she would call you and text you all the time. it got so bad to the point you had to tell her friends caitlin and hailey to take her phone away. sometimes you would have to temporarily block her during her training so she would focus. to you paige was your whole world, her dreams, accomplishments, her everything was your world. and of course the same with paige. 

when it was time for you both to commit to college you of course applied for all your dream schools uconn (for paige), columbia, northwestern and of course Yale. yale has been your dream school since you were little and paige’s dream school was the university of connecticut. When paige committed to uconn it’s wasn’t a surprise everyone knew that’s where she would end up, and she was expecting you to join her. when you told her that you were going to yale instead, she understood, upset but she understood, she couldn’t be mad that was your dream.

each night of that summer she laid in her bed wondering about the two of you. 

wondering if you guys would remain as close, it’s always been you and paige. the thought of anyone replacing her scared her. she wonderd if you would date anyone. the thought of you dating someone that wasn’t her, quite broke her filled with jealousy and heartache, she called you in a hurry.

“hey you there” she said out of breath like she has been crying for hours and just woken up from the worst nightmare imaginable.

“yea im here, what’s wrong paige?” you asked confused, half asleep yet calm knowing you need to be grounded for paige.

“could you come over right now… i really really need you” her voice breaking with each word.

“yea im headed over there right now, do you want anything?” you said comforting and soothing but deep down you were confused as hell. she has never been this emotional over a dream before (or what you thought was a dream)

“no i just need you” 

“okay i’m on my way” and with that you hung up 

with the spare key paige’s mom gave you, you entered in, not wanting to wake anyone let alone paige if she fell asleep again. you knew how much stress took over her so you knew how important it was that she gets sleep. 

you opened the door making zero noise. you see paige’s bright blue eye, you can tell she’s been crying.

right when you hugged her she started sobbing again 

“hey, hey, it’s okay i’m here, what’s wrong paigey?” 

paigey has been a nickname you gave her back when you guys first met.

“i don’t want to leave, i don’t want you to leave” she cried out 

“please please don’t leave me, don’t forget about me. it’s always been me and you, please don’t replace me” crying out even harder, squeezing you even tighter as if you were going to fade away if she let go even a slight bit.

“hey it’s always going to me and you, that’s never going to change”

“but you’re going to yale, you’re going to leave me, find someone new to replace me and forget about me”  she says hyperventilating due to her crying.

you slightly wiggled out of her embrace, just enough to cup her face “paige, breathe, i’m not going to replace you, and i’m definitely not going to forget about you.”

you lift her chin so she would look at you

and finally, she looks you in the eye. her blue eyes dilated.

before you could say anything 

she kissed you.

and you kiss back.

this is bad… i came up with a new story in the middle of this and completely forgot my ending so this is the ending now 😭

★taglist★: @patscorner, @heart4caitlin, @thaatdigitaldiary, @st4rrzynight, @mrsarnold

[dwntwn-strnlo]

friendly fire. [m.st.]

── ⟡˙ ̟ matthew sturniolo x !reader

↳ synopsis. — drunk confessions!

↳ a/n. — thank you to the talented @sarosfilms for letting me use this idea! ella is so freaking creative and you should definitely check out her work :))

↳ requested? — no

↳ cw. — use of alcohol, verbal argument

you tilted your head back, beer spilling out of the red solo cup and past your lips. every reasonable nerve in your body was telling you that it's okay, no big deal. it was fine.

but yet, as your knuckles gripped the trashy plastic, you couldn't tell what emotion you were feeling. whether it was sadness, or anger—no. infuriation. you honestly couldn't tell.

eyes locked on your boy best friend, you want to absolutely lose your shit.

leaning against the wall, matt talks to a pretty girl. the way she's watching him speak, gaze glued to his lips and the way you fell in love with his smile? it made you want to burst into tears.

downing the rest of you stale alcohol, you turn around and toss your cup in the trashcan by the dishwasher. closing your eyes for a mere few seconds, you breathe. in through your nose, out through your mouth. trying to compose yourself and cope with the idea that it's just matt. friendly, easy to talk to matt. and he's not going to do anything that would remotely hurt you.

but why, oh why— did you feel like you were going insane?

when you realized that you were falling way past the silly schoolgirl crush for him, the idea of commitment bit you in the ass. though eventually, you wrapped your head around it and now you're head over fucking heels for the goofy influencer who's face haunts your insta feed.

by the time you open your eyes again, your heart is pounding. you weren't one to be so jealous and angry,—if that's even what your feeling right now—especially over a stupid little conversation with a stupid little tiktoker with stupidly big tits. so you have no clue what's gotten into you. besides maybe the 7 cups of beer you've downed in the last hour...

you pull out your phone, needing to get away before you actually lost your head.

you send a quick text to matt in the awkward case you were to get roofied or jumped or whatever frat/influencer thing the guys decide to do, that he'd at least know where you were. no matter how upset you were.

he's quick to react to your text, but you chose not to elaborate before shoving your phone back into your pocket and step outside.

immediately you feel a rush of relief wash over you when the pounding music is no longer rattling your brain, and now just bleeding through the front door.

quickly you wrap your arms around your torso, the night time air hitting you like a brick. closing your eyes again, you breathe in and out. in and out. in and out. trying to steady your keonigsegg of a heartbeat.

now that you're alone and away from the half naked dancing, sweating young adults, you can finally focus. and you soon realize how absolutely full of rage you are.

you want to scream and cry and-

"y/n?" you turn around to your name being called as the glass door slides against the rusty metal. "what are you doing out here?"

matt quirks a brow as he speaks, staring at you with confusion and concern stapled across his face.

"i uh-" you cover your mouth with your palm. trying to figure out what to say. you wanted to blow up at him, but you couldn't do that. he's just matt. just your friend. just your friend that your madly in love with. who cares? "no reason?"

the boy scoffs, knitting his brows as he looks at you in disbelief, "really?"

your eyes rake over his body as you search for something to say. noting how he's in just a simple black tee and baggy designer jeans. "who was the girl?" i snort, "she was really pretty!"

matt's eyes widen, still seemingly shocked by what your going on about. "huh? what girl?" he stuffs his hands in his pockets, shifting on his heels and the balls of his feet. "i wasn't talking to anyone."

you scoff, "i'm not stupid." crossing my arms over my chest. "i saw you talking to her, matt. blonde, big tits, you remember?"

he laughs, but there's not much humor in it. "you can't say shit like that."

"oh so you do remember, hm?" you bite, narrowing your eyes at him.

he puts his hands up defensively, waving them in the air between the two of you. "that was nothing. she was no one."

"you weren't nobody to her." you snort. "did you not see the way she was all goo goo ga ga over you? she was bout ready to flash her colorful feathers and do a mating dance."

"why do you care?" matt mirrors your body language, crossing his arms over his chest too.

your heart skips a beat or two... hundred. your face freezes at his words, and suddenly you're a deer in headlights. "because... i'm your friend matt."

"friend!?" he fires out, barely letting your words roll of your tongue. he looks exasperated, his blue eyes dark and wide.

his swords send you into a string of confusion. raising a brow at him, you snicker. "why are you so shocked?"

"because i love you, y/n."

what?

"yeah i love you too?" you mumble, uncrossing your arms.

matt scoffs. he scoffs. and it makes you even more exasperated then you were before. "are you fucking stupid?" the words make you rebuild the wall in your body, crossing your arms again and standing up a little taller. "i love you." he mutters again. this time unable to hold eye contact with you.

undeniably your breath hitches. this time as he says it, the words hit you a little harder. pressing into you like a body blow, threatening to knock you off your feet. "i don't understand.." you mumble, voice barely above a whisper as you swallow the lump in your throat.

"you are not my fucking friend, y/n. you are the person i aspire to be the most." he reaches out a hand to touch you, but drops it almost instantly. as if his body wasn't with his mind. "i want you so bad. i want to take you out and hold your hand and-" his breath hitches, eyes boring into yours.

as his words slip off his tongue everything seems to hit you like a train. "and what?" your voice cracks. as he finally goes silent, you realize your biting at your nails. picking recklessly at the skin around them. dropping your hand, your fingers fidget, waiting and waiting and waiting.

"i wanna be your boyfriend."

TAGLIST

@thetriplets3 @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @fenoy7 @mlimmm @prettysturniolo @ssturniolo @gabbylovesreading @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @matthewmurdockswife @jellybeanbby @slaysturniolo @iheartshifting @mxqdii @luvsturniolo @lvrsparadise @partoftoofuckinmanyfandoms @sstvrniololuvr

[sundragon]

I remind myself they can get that need met elsewhere, so it's not mine or your responsibility to be the one to do it. I like thinking about other people's emotions too, but it's usually in a "this is exhausting, how do they live like this" kind of way lol. To me it's so much hair-splitting. If I get in my ego about it I start to think I could solve a lot of humanity's problems. And maybe I could, but it wouldn't be my place, they wouldn't really learn anything from a sky daddy fixing their issues even if it was me doing it.

So yeah haha, it does sound familiar! To me it's just...logical. Not to sound like a stereotype but when all else fails, I can rely on clear thinking to sort it out. I don't support marginalized people because I feel their pain myself and get in my emotions about it, but because it's the right thing to do and I'd be a hypocrite not to - I wouldn't want to be assaulted, killed, trapped in a cage, tortured, etc, and I'm sure no one else wants that either. You can be detached and still understand that, so to me, if anyone takes issue with you not knowing what to do with the waterworks, then they're just not getting their need met elsewhere. Not your problem.

I'm asexual too, and it's very similar. Some people genuinely suffer without sexual contact in a relationship and that is so alien to me! I need sex like I need a broken wing, so all I can do is shrug and just take their word for it, and go from there. \o/

I'm the only guy I know who genuinely enjoyed the covid lockdowns, because I could walk outside and have peace and quiet and not be expected to do much at all (after I left my retail job at least), but according to other people I've talked to this was traumatizing. I'm still baffled by that one but again, I just take their word for it.

I'll be honest and even say that if the friend I mentioned died tomorrow, I wouldn't cry about it. It would be... weird to have them just gone suddenly, but I wouldn't be sad. For their sake I'd hope that whatever's on the other side is peaceful, or at least blissfully empty, and that they didn't die while suffering, but that's about it. I'd definitely take care of their gecko though. To some people this makes me a capital M monster and well, alrighty. At the same time I'd still save their life if I had the choice to, because being alive is (usually) preferable, and I know plenty of so-called good and kind people who wouldn't lift a finger to help them because they're queer. So if we're the monsters for not being able to mirror their emotions 1:1 then I think that's great actually. There's times they need us too, for what we do offer, and if they're good to us then we'll be around.

i dont know how to explain that i lose the capability to speak english and type when i shift. and it is almost impossible for me to conceptualize trust or friendship or comfort or anything of that nature whatsoever. people who talk to me call me emotionless and unsupportive and I just say "I don't understand what to do here," they beg and ask me if I understand love or have any sympathy and I just say i dunno. yeah i dunno man. maybe I don't? when I shift I feel seriously like others around me are not relevant to me and my emotions. my dragon brain just cannot comprehend that in that state. it understands loyalty and other complex things. but it doesn't understand love. it understands territory and dominance and etc. but I can't sit here and say it thinks like a person about people and human connections

[cherrysnax]

oh yeah we were also wondering why we flock to media with dead kids that haunt the narrative both figuratively and literally and uh :) yeah we know why

[tetzoro]

the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.

[hallowclave]

What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently

Original photo

[allmyandroids]

Raymond Reddington

In Season 4 Episode 2 - Mato

[greasydumbfuck]

watched the 2004 punisher movie yesterday with pixie and honestly i had fun 👍 some stuff was good some stuff was eh some completely irrelevant stuff made me mildly annoyed. but most of all it was funny and they had frank hang around with his tits out for multiple scenes so i mean how could i not have a great time tbh

[skid-the-mighty-poet]

[neverendingford]

.

[sparky-is-spiders]

Y’know the whole “Peter and Elias are constantly marrying and divorcing” thing well consider: Jonpeter on-again off-again toxic affair.

[hearts4pearlescentmoon]

I need to do to sleep, so naturally, I will be drawing

[cherry-treelane]

Three boys, jeering, examining all four of us girls. They look at me. They grin and say that without a doubt, I "rank the highest"— as if I am an object, a shiny car, a celluloid aphrodisical, designed to be judged. They say that I am the best-looking. My father's voice interrupts the stream of my self-critical inner monologue to cackle in opposition. I open my mouth to defend my girlfriends, yet all of them nod in agreement and chime in, saying that they completely agree. None of them contradict the boys. None of them seem offended. The shock tears into my insides. You're all blind, I want to say, blind and foolish.

Wake up, I scream

You don't see what lies beneath these clothes of mine,

What swims beneath my skin (The beating yet broken heart, the dysfunctional organs, the to-hell-and-back-and-hell-again spine, the either too full or too empty stomach)

You don't know me.

you don't know that im not beautiful at all. not really.

I whisper to my friend, claim that they wouldn't say that if they saw my body. She insists that my body is beautiful and slim and enviable, and all I can think is that, my mother said the same thing when I wasn't eating so do you want me sadder? My father wants me happier— regardless of whether its real or not. He doesn't care either way. I think he'd prefer if it was fake.

A plate of food in front of me.

Eat it, my father says

Spit it out, my mother says

They disagree. They turn on eachother. They fight. The cacophony clouds my ears.

When it is over, when they're done, I tuck them both into their separate beds and listen to their troubles regarding the other. When I tell them about my own grievances, both of them fall asleep. I leave and clean the broken glass on the floor with my bare hands, ignoring the blood that protests at this, and tuck myself into bed with tears down my face, staining my pillow and mixing with the red.

You tell me I'm the most beautiful you've seen and when I oppose you beg me to tell you why

I shrug my shoulders, I don't know what to say (I'll give away too much if I do)

You should meet my father, he'll tell you if you give him all day and all night

After all, I was raised to be this way. Raised to believe every other girl was more pleasing to the eye than I. Raised to believe I should always look to them for inspiration, that I'd never be the inspiration myself.

[moonlit-orchid]

good evening to everyone except a certain few fucking anons

[rustbeltbabey]

boo hoo sad pity party posting hours LMAO but I rlly truly don't think I will ever be in another relationship again. I don't feel that I will every b desirable or deserving enough, and I don't feel like I will ever even b seen as a guy n idk. I just don't know.

[themyscirah]

Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute