#i know they cant actually hold stuff
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has this been done
#toh#the owl house#the collector#toh the collector#the collector toh#emperor belos#belos#belos toh#this is like all vaguely half assed#based on that one is that your fucking fursona? thats cringe meme#drawing the collector is so fun#i know they cant actually hold stuff#as a shadow#but i take creative liberties here#this is also the first time ive draw belos lol#i really enjoyed drawing the collector so happy :)
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uh oh guys, hot take alert:
i think revali may have invented hand held aerial archery HEAR ME OUT- (this is a long one boys)
okay. evidence one: why the fuck would a rito shoot like that. like, it makes nearly zero sense, it would be such a hindrance to their flight and their main stake is that they can be higher than you can shoot whilst still pinging you... which revali has overcome with his gale
evidence two: tulin and the concept arts. obviously rito style archery would be held in their talons. before totk came out idk if anyone had really thought about it too much, but the developers had, as you can see in concept art (from the creating a champion book). and like, its logical, powerful, and allows for peak maneuverability. also, when in flight revali (and teba) holds his bow in his talons before switching to his wings. surely its easier to keep it in your wing (obvi ignoring the effects to flight but hes doing that anyway firing the damn thing) rather than switch back and forth- unless you were taught that way, because why would you hold it elsewhere, you need it in your talons to shoot.
evidence three: we dont see any other rito do it (...kind of). throughout botw and totk, we never see another rito flying with a bow in their hands. in totk, its mostly tulin, who holds it in his talons, but in botw the big one is teba. during the medoh quest, he actually gives *link* his bow, and therefore does no shooting in the sky. teba and harth had both tried to take on medoh before, but we never see this, and while they holds their bows in their hands *on the ground,* we dont see it.
...except for aoc (uh, spoilers?). there are two times we see a rito other than revali hold their bow in their hand for aerial archery. but it is not with any rito soldiers, either during cutscenes (the bows are only on their backs) or gameplay (they swoop down, and then hand hold bows on ground. they arent seen flying at all but thats prolly for the same reasons as botw: its very hard to code that (and so they write the lore around that fact)). the first time we actually see another rito do this, we dont see it. Its teba, as he comes thru the portal, but all we see is the arrow shot, and then him freeze frame with the bow in one wing. we dont see the bow in his hand for the rest of the fight. the second time we actually see him fighting like this, it *is* in the air, but its noticeably different to revali.
hes a lot slower, it clearly takes a LOT more effort to shoot the bow, and he only pulls off one arrow at a time. its canon that revalis bow is heavier/harder to draw, and he manages to effortlessly stream arrows whilst fucking floating midair. i think teba, forever a revali fanboy, heard of how the champion mastered his own style of archery and sought to teach himself, but lacked one key thing: revalis mastery of wind.
evidence three point five: revali could easily use his powers to hold him in the air longer/slow his descent long enough for him to fire his shots. it makes sense, really. if he can use his gale to propel him, he can sit on the updraft for a hot sec, or even curve the path to carry him along while he lines up the shot. this would mean he wouldnt need to flap as much as other rito, who would obviously need to keep flying
evidence four: revalis fighting style and his needs. revali works with non rito, obviously. he needs to be able to communicate with them on the battlefield, and they wont understand the muffled chirps if he holds his string in his beak, so he needs his mouth free to speak hylian. also, revalis main tactic is fly up with gale, shoot, fall, either shoot more or use velocity and weight to knock around opponents, and then fly back up. he often needs both feet planted firmly on the ground to get a good hold of his gale, something that is harder to do if you have a bow in the way.
also, take for example the kick he delivers link in their fight (aoc). that would possibly damage the bow, or give the opponent a chance to grab his weapon, if he held it in his talons. and to switch from feet to back is a risky maneuver during freefall, and could lose precious seconds, and then when you get back in the air you need to get it off your back again. its much easier to keep the bow loosely in your wing the whole time, meaning your free to attack melee, land and rise all while not wasting a single moment getting your next shot lined up.
so yeah, i think the rito used the talon grip for aerial archery, and would often use the hand held method on the ground for a variety of reasons (more powerful shots?, easier in some situations like hunting), but revali was perhaps the first to use hand held aerial, another reason he was one of the greatest archers ever.
#you cant fly and i cant hold a bow in my wings midair so this is the perfect middleground to#fight each other on but jokes on you i literally invented new archery to beat this flaw and im going to kick ur ass and/or teach it to you#its late rn i hope this makes sense#also from a revalink perspective its giving#idk i might go back through this in the morning and clean it up but probably not i have never done that before i always forget about it#this came to me as i was talking to myself trying to justify WHY ON EARTH rito would shoot like that when i went#“wait. have we even seen other rito do that.” and the answer was basically not it was only one other guy#important to note that 1- those two times we see teba do it hes on vah medoh which has A LOT of updrafts and wind which would make it easie#and 2- his moveset is all very close to the ground and often doesnt involve a lot of actual flying so im choosing to be selective about it#god DAYUM i love thinking about these birds#revali#teba#harth#tulin#rito#botw#totk#aoc#loz#archery stuff#hoping a certain moot sees this and gives their opinions bc i know they know archery stuff#moss' madness
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it should be said that some of you are way too dorky about laika
#emergency broadcast system#like okay name another animal that went to space. just one. an american one maybe? no? just soviets bad dog killers?#you say id rather have a very pampered dog that doesnt know whats happening before during or after to die in space than a human who does#and everyone loses their minds on dork.com (tumblrs true domain title)#i am fine with people who acknowledge that she was very well cared for and loved. and i like her being a symbol of space exploration#because its a very important study that we needed live subjects to continue. and if she is emblematic of that i hold no ill regard#however when people are like wahh scientists killed laika baby dog poor pupper whateverrr#name another dog. a monkey maybe. other animals went to space and died. and had names. and caretakers. and many lived too#name a living non human animal that went to space. theres dozens. a cat even. whats her name. what about the tortoises. many hatched eggs.#like oh my god theres so much interesting stuff. also name a human thats not the first man in space nor the first two men on the moon.#actually just name the other guy that was there with neil armstrong and buzz aldrin. if you cant pass this bare minimum you cant-#-web weave all day about laika. especially as an american
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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hi i have a bit of an odd question and im so sorry if it comes off as rude at all!
ive seen a lot of your posts about canes, i have hEDS and chronic pain and im trying to convice my mom and my doctor to let me have a mobility aid. my mom is very adamant that i dont need a cane because i dont have balance issues, but my knees and ankles are pretty much always aching. i was just wondering if you think a cane would help with chronic pain or if i should look into other aids?
Canes can help chronic pain, they are not guaranteed to help you specifically
You can get a cane for ~$30 at most stores and try it out
A physical therapist and/or a specialist in rheum will most likely know more than your PCP about your specific pain and situation
Parents often don't want to admit their kids have health problems
I wish you luck
I won't be answering any more asks about mobility aids.
This is nothing about you specifically, you were not rude, I just get a lot of questions like this in my inbox. It becomes draining to get so many asks with people's personal vents about their medical issues or religious trauma or the homophobic situations they're living in.
While I would love if I could help people, I am not a doctor. I am not a therapist, I am not a social worker. I'm just a random artist on the internet who has EDS and is barely getting by myself.
I prefer to keep my blog about my art and about my work, not about my disability. It is relevant to my work, of course, and discussing my conditions in vague terms in how they relate to themes present in my work is more than okay, but I prefer this space to be dedicated to my work and getting to engage with my readers through my stories.
Personal information about my pain, my medications, my tests my doctors and my trauma are not things I want to make public.
Thank you for understanding.
#cane stuff#asks#anon#I think this might actually be the second time I've said I won't answer asks about mobility aids#but this time I'm gonna put it in my fucking description or something#I dont wanna hear about the character you're writing and whether or not I think it's ableist#I'm not the arbiter of ableism#I'm not someone who can help you out of a situation where your dad won't stop screaming at you#I can't help you#and it is so so so hard to have people come to me and just dump their pain on me#I cant help you!#I just have to read your messages and SIT with them!!!#KNOWING I can't help you!!!#I cant teach you to use a cane I can't hold your hand through your breakups#I'm sorry#I'm so sorry but I can not help you#and to help myself I have to put up a hard line and commit that it is absolutely not my responsibility#it is not fair to come into my inbox#and dump on me#like!#idk!#idk.
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I mean it's a poll about which you prefer not which is objectively better. Windwaker could be the best game ever made and tbh I'd still vote oot. Sorry
And yet, OoT isn't that great even coming from a dude obsessed with it 😭 Sorry
#the hyper fixation that fucking sucks 💖#cant even do a perosnal prefrence my personal prefrence is OoT and YET#I CANT DEFEND IT AGAINST WIND WAKER HAHDGSHSGS WIND WAKER IS JUST A BETTER FUNNER MORE WELL WRITTEN GAME#and i get why people keep asking for it on the switch for like...convinence reasons but i wish people would just emulate it or watch a#playthrough SOMETHING like#god if i wasnt hit with the oot/mm beam it may have been tp or wind eaker#WIND WAKER FUCK#actually fun fact i was obsessed with Tp Link for a few years of my lifr before going RIGHT BACK TO TIME LINK#the ages of 11-13 was tp nation#AND BEFORE AND AFTER WAS ALL OOT LIKE HELP MEEEEEE#THAT BITCH HAS ME IN AN INESCAPABLE CHOKE HOLD#OH MY GOD THIS REMINDS ME ANON WHO wants me dead i assume i see that little sorry of yours but i need to get back on the tablet i have been#doing this custom paint work for stuff and#wait am i just#im just rambaling in the tags aint i#you know what personal prefrance is oot sweeps evey game except MM TP WW and BotW for the most part like im#i like them games a lot more for various reasons but#the comfort game 💖 the hyper fixation that fucking sucks 💖💖💖💖💖#god if i could do a full break down of oot zeph and moon and myles made fun of me for n64 reasons if you bitches are reasing this gimmie an#angry orchard and 100mg gummy WATCH ME WORK
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🎶I am filled with so much anxietyyy🎶
#quotidian convos#have a public speaking thing tomorrow#but the crowd isnt like my usual crowd#these are... actual professionals#accomplished people and leaders and people who are some of the best in their fields and jobs#and even though i'm only holding a 3-5 min activity (with a partner)#still doesnt change that this is my biggest audience yet#in terms of number as well as who they are#and also that every single person in the room are adults except me and my group#well its good to be in a group#i have a friend and we meet each other every other public speaking event#and she's so cool yall you dont even know#she's like one of THE coolest people i know#and her outfits are SMASHING#so cant wait to see her again!!#but yeah still filled with anxiety and nerves and stuff#*takes deep breath* it will be fine tho. it will be fine!#because as sprite said#public speaking is *my* bitch#(thanks sprite ^^)
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thinking about mtt literally physically dragging eachother down and being restrained to eachother because theyre genuinely that fucking ass for eachother but then it means i'd have to decide which of them to humiliate by putting a collar on them. and i can't choose. if they dont all equally suffer than whats the point man 🙁🙁🙁
#i think they'd all have interesting reactions to it 2#like a permanent collar that cant be taken off. to make even more gruesome what if it were like built into the BONE????#or it could just be something less extreme like bone carvings. killer would absolutely do that shit#anyways i think horror would be the most reactive to it. anger is the most intriguing emotion#and also dog horror real. anyways he'd hate to be demeaned and disrespected like that. he has an ego and honor man and this is cutting it#dust drags him around constantly. killer pets him and disregards his boundaries. like a fucking DOG#because horror hates kist enough that he'd never let them get vulnerable enough. not that it stops killer LMAO#dust thinks some of horrors hatred towards them is a projection of his own self hatred (and hed lowkey be right)#loser. dust i think would be unique because to me he'd be a bit fine with it#i mean i think itd be hidden under paps scarf so it wouldn't be a constant reminder of horror n killer#but he lets the two hold the leash at least a bit. give him an eensy bit of touch and let a few insults slide#but the second he decides that even the smallest thing is enough he gets ticked off and then yk. someone has to put bunny back in his place#because dust is chill enough to let normal things in his eyes pass. he's not very reactionary or the type to immediately bite back#(since dust would just avoid horror and killer if he did meet them. means he has some sort of tolerance for them. keeping his peace fr)#but the moment hes reminded that god these two do suck and i shouldn't be letting this happen all of the held back anger comes out#killer would seek out the force and stuff. horror would treat him like shit because it makes himself feel good and killer look like an idio#dust doesn't even glance at him though and it pisses killer off. both of their actions do actually#like WTF DUST you guys literally put this on me. treat me like the piece of shit i know you think i am#but also STOP HORROR!!!! dont pull me around and demean me im not a pet i dont want to be treated that way even tho i say it do#yeah hes caught in a standstill. AND SO AM I do you see my issue. cannot pick one specific#all the trio would have such interesting reactions i cant just choose one to solely suffer......... anyways mttpoly am i right#should i tag this. like majority of the interesting stuff is in tags. but also i didnt post today i have a duty#dust sans#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule rant#this just ended up being me thinking about mtt with collars. maaan what about handcuffs and chains and other restrictive things#having them have restraining relationship isnt enough i need them to PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN EACHOTHER
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hey i might be controversial but im not really feeling the 12th doctor so far
#idkk idk what to thinkkk#i finished s8 today#im just nottt feeling ittt#i just think i might hate how moffat writes no matter what it is fdvxcdfdfv#i actually don't know WHAT is wrong because it's like... things i SHOULD be enjoying but im not it feels like its bad#idk idkkkk#i just feel there's something lacking and i felt the exact same way through the entire 11th doctor era#its just even worse now because i guess im tired#like im so desperate to enjoy this doctor like i did 9 and 10 and i just cant?? cant enjoy the companions and side characters as much eithe#idk man :(#i need to watch some older dw stuff and see if im idealizing the old episodes lmao#because i really want to have a fair opinion of this showww#heeeelpp ToT#i think i just dont like the writing? but i dont know enough about writing to actually say what's wrong#theres just something wrong#ouough#i still hold so much hope everyones always so excited about 12 and i was very excited and its just not ittt#ough ok byeeee#ok wait#like i think his personality is fine and stuff is fine it's just.. the stories? the way they present them? i dont knowwww#i just dont really like moffats dw i gues...#SAD
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me; *(spends five hours planning out my courses for the university i just got accepted into this morning, in a way so that im guranteed to succeed and wont leave me burnt out and drained)*
the university: oopsie daisies!! nope, you can't do that!! forever why would we want someone to actually succeed at what they're good at and want to do??? nope!! you gotta remove most if not all of those first year courses and replace them with a larger variety of things for a more diverse learning experience, whether you hold interest or talent in those subjects or not!!!! oh and you gotta do these two courses as well, these are actually required, haha, i forgot to tell you that!
me, now destined to burn out and fail:
#i just. i just fucking cant.#i was excited to finally get a start on things and i had things planned perfectly#cause i CANNOT DO WELL in classes that DONT INTEREST ME#but no. i have to have languages and sciences in here. cause i can't take all humanities.#and i have to take two boring as shit art history courses as well#or else they'll KICK ME OUT.#why the FUCK cant i just do the ones i wanna do??? they're all first year courses!!!#why should i have to do stuff i hold no interest or talent in and am going to fail at???#just completely fucking obliterated all my motivation and drive to actually go to school.#and now ive spent an hour and a half trying to conform to their hard to decipher course requirements#and now my schedule- which looked managable for me before- looks horrible and draining.#im GOING to fail because of these requirements.#i know this. i know my brain.#im never going to be able to do anything with my life cause every single thing#has stupid locked doors that i dont have the keys to standing in my way#vent
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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i swear to god sega must be choosing which 3d sonic games they wanna rerelease at random because none of their choices here make any sense when i said they should focus more on making the 3d games more accessible instead of re releasing the classic games a million times this isnt what i meant
#i mean the shadow parts of the trailer do have me interested now but im still confused about why they would do this at all#i said it all already but generations is a fairly recent game and the graphics still hold up well and its still somewhat accessible#its not in a situation where theres a bunch of stuff to change or its trapped on older consoles that barely anyone has these days#if generations was a super iconic game with a well loved story i would get it i guess but sonic generations is literally nothing story wise#there are so many other games that it would make more sense to bring back#also shadow??????? why is he the focus here he barely did anythign in generations#and generations whole gimmick is the classic and modern thing and you cant do that with shadow#whatever#like i said i am excited to see what theyre doing with the shadow levels actually im just confused you know
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IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
i love this fuckin argument kaveh and alhaitham have on the port ormos bulletin board
it's one of those instances where kaveh and alhaitham are arguing and alhaitham is saying that like, while he disagrees with kaveh lol, he also doesnt deny theres truth to what kaveh says.
but i also think it's funny how alhaitham is like "end of conversation. ALSO-" like bitch you kept going IMMEDIATELY fkjsjfklds and then that stupid bit where theyre like "he said this" "he did not fucking say that" "he did" "no he didnt fuck you" "he did give me a month ill prove it!!!!" THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD😭😭😭
also i have this one bit stuck forever in my mind from kavehs hang out
[video source i screenshot from]
MAYBE im reading into it way too much bc i have terminal haikaveh brain. maybe. BUT!!!! art is subjective i can do what i want :^) anyway i think a lot about this part because TO ME it sounds like kaveh keeps assuming the worst from alhaitham - makes sense, they argue all the time and they def have a turbulent relationship. HOWEVER!!!!! while alhaitham does like poking fun at kaveh and gets annoyed with him dskjfdsklf i FEEL LIKE theres an implication that he like, does not enjoy seeing kaveh suffer the way kaveh just assumes he does.
like here, kaveh is like oh, youre not hoping to see me make a fool of myself are you >:(?? just bc alhaitham was like. in a location unexpectedly. lol. and then alhaithams phrasing is just so specific where he like, doesnt say yes but doesnt say no either lol. hes like "oh so you think i get joy from seeing you in pain day in and day out? well if that were true id be entertained always because youre always in distress"
but like. I DUNNO MAYBE IM BEING STUPID BUT JKSDLFJDKL to ME it felt like he was deflecting the question. to be fair it was a silly question so maybe alhaitham didnt think it worth answering lololol but like "are you here to watch me struggle" "why do you assume i enjoy you struggling" is the vibe i get. but then with bullying also bc alhaitham is still poking at him and his distresses lol jdkslfdskl
and then like the moment the traveler is about to be like "kavehs feeling sad" and kaveh tries to deflect it, i personally think alhaitham managed to come up with a distraction to get kaveh to walk away for a minute so he could hear about kavehs troubles bc hes IMMEDIATELY LIKE
ok now that hes gone tell me about kaveh and his issues. and then goes on to explain kaveh and his behavior
and there are SEVERAL INSTANCES i mean this is an obvious thing lol but like, many such cases where kaveh and alhaitham will be like "yeah this guy is incredibly smart but his personality is fucking unbearable" i just enjoy that as much as they rag on each other theyre still like "no he is a genius though im not gonna deny that" AND ALSO [help]
alhaitham says stuff like this a few times, i think hes got a teapot line or so where he says similar things 🤔 but hes like "yeah people go about their lives doing different things and thats fine everyone should stay in their lane as long as theyre not disrupting the lives of others" AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!! he and kaveh endlessly fight with each other on how they go about their lives. trying to get the other to see their way of thinking even though i think they both acknowledge [or it says somewhere in the lore that they do] that it is a losing battle bc theyre both really set in how they see things and their methods of doing things. I JUST FIND IT REALLY INTERESTING that alhaitham is like, "mind your business and ill mind my business what ever bye" but when it comes to kaveh hes like. no actually i have to debate you. the way you feel isnt wrong however your actions make your life really hard for yourself and you could be living better if you changed" like he cannot stay in his lane when kaveh is involved!!!!! and like the whole reason he's even IN the parade of providence event at all was bc he was pursuing a thread of research that he figured out was connected to kavehs dad and his disappearance!!! mister "i dont want to get involved if it doesnt disrupt my life" got involved to give his boy some closure on the haunting of his dead father!!!!!!!!!! I am going to explode now goodbye!!!!
#SORRY i post extremely long rambles about haikaveh when i KNOW most people that follow me do NOT give a shit about genshin#i like like. maybe 5 people do#and also a lot of the stuff i say will in fact be repeated things#and like. stuff that is old news LOL me when i discover air or whatever idk leave me be#i need to process my feelings via word vomiting thats what tumblr is FOR!!!!!#if i cant directly dm spam one or two people about Character then i have to do it on tumblr#and make it everyone else's problem#fuckin. god. when alhaitham was released i only summoned for him on a whim#bc my FRIEND was like wow i really want this new guy#and i was like ooo looks fun ill try too#and hes like one of my best dps units actually lol hes SO strong#and im fucking obsessed with him and kaveh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im glad i pulled for them both and got them when they first released!!!#i think i only got kaveh too bc i had really wanted baizhu#who is a fuckin great healer btw. theyre my dendro trio teehee#IM IN THIS GENSHIN VORTEX ALONE bc everyone else i know that plays is on a break or doesnt care or w/e#so im like ok fine. ill just descend into madness about characters BY MYSELF!!!!!!#and by that i mean i will post on tumblr dot com talking to my self#which is what i used to do anyway. ive returned to my roots my default state of habits#holding haikaveh so firmly in my hands YOU DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAND#actually it's one of the most popular ships in the game so. im sure many people understand. probs understand better than i do tbh#however? im on an island.
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#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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Leavingout red velvet cake slices for unnamed alter 3 like a mouse trap except the trap is my friendly embrace . I am befriending you if its the last thing I do
#malik's rambles#lovingyoir alters is a form of self love and i am DETERMINED !!!!!#ifeel awkward posting about system stuff um . imsure literally no one gives a fuck . relax#fr thoughI hope they feel comfortable opening up to us soon like#I dont know the full extent of what happened to us and its really terrifying and horrible so I cant imagine actually holding#onto those memories . esp with how we saw pictures of our rapist recently and Im pretty sure it triggered them to front :[#system stuff
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very quick and not quite my best but yesterday was kind of osiris's bday? so heres some strange sad (slightly erotic??) art of him based loosely on some vent art i made a while back :) i like to put this boy in situations. if you couldn't tell
#my art#osiris gaumond#dnd oc#yeahhh. yeah#very extremely personal stuff incoming brace yourselves#yesterday was the anniversary of the event that 'inspired' me to make osiris as a coping mechanism#will not go more in depth bc this is not therapy lmao but if you know anything about him or about me (recent history) you probably know#i am so incredibly proud of how far ive come since it happened#but when it was fresh i absolutely was not okay in the slightest i was completely torn apart#and right exactly when i needed it my friend created a campaign and asked me to join#so i made osiris :)#i didn't actually initially intend for him to be a metaphor/coping mechanism/therapy character at all#and i didnt realize how he was until months later fhjsdkfjksd#so he holds a special place in my heart because of that#and i will forever be grateful to that friend for starting that campaign and the other friends that are in that campaign with me#even if they dont know they're helping me process trauma gfdhjkdfjkhgfd#ok silly personal stuff over back to shitposting#FUCK I JUST REALIZED HIS EYES ARE FUCKING BACKWARDS#HIS LEFT EYE IS WHITE HIS RIGHT IS GREEN NOOOOO#CANT BELIEVE I DID THIS TO MY BOY ON HIS BIRTHDAY#uhhh lets pretend it was intentional and has Meaning
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