#cause i CANNOT DO WELL in classes that DONT INTEREST ME

[thestalkerbunny]

Tell me your favorite parts please! And characters if you don't mind?

Well I've read the manga up to the latest chapter and lemme just say

Me genuinely trying to make friends when I am traveling with new people. I am being genuine. One time I actually went to a bar with friends, drank nothing, ate cheesesticks and told my friend about Mothman. This true and a real story. I was so overstimulated with how out of place I felt and I was like 'LET ME DO THE ONE THING I KNOW HOW TO DO BEST. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MOTHMAN'S THICC ASS STATUE?'

I also love the 'DONT RUN IN THE HALLS' bit

Something about that is just so REAL to the highschooler experience. Shrodinger rules-if the teacher does not perceive you, you can do whatever you want.

One of my favorite characters rn is the new one, Kouki, the gloomy girl who has a horde of little pikmin gnomes following her around

I also love the sentient anatomical model who is in love with a female anatomical model that got tossed out and he's like 'I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON MY GF I LOVE HER'

Also I cannot wait for the Evil Eye arc to get animated cause like. Up there with Acrobatic Silkie-People will be in the STREETS sobbing

TFW the unmedicated adhd kicks on during class.

Also controversial opinon, Sakata is a good character, he's very interesting, he's not just 'perv character number 12' he's just quite literally a weird akward guy who also doesn't know how to make friends much like everyone else in this manga. Everyone here has no clue how to make friends and they don't help by constantly talking about golden balls in front of other people.

Also, none of ya'll ready for the Kaiju fight arc. NOBODY.

[lunar-wandering]

me; *(spends five hours planning out my courses for the university i just got accepted into this morning, in a way so that im guranteed to succeed and wont leave me burnt out and drained)*

the university: oopsie daisies!! nope, you can't do that!! forever why would we want someone to actually succeed at what they're good at and want to do??? nope!! you gotta remove most if not all of those first year courses and replace them with a larger variety of things for a more diverse learning experience, whether you hold interest or talent in those subjects or not!!!! oh and you gotta do these two courses as well, these are actually required, haha, i forgot to tell you that!

me, now destined to burn out and fail:

[thatneoncrisis]

Sorry to keep dragging you through Arcane hell (the new season is... oof) but I am curious what your thoughts on silco are? Realising more and more that silco and sevika are the only part of the show I gave a fuck about and my love of season one was really just those two.

i keep putting things under a readmore so if ppl dont want to see me go "damn this was good i wish it was better" they dont have to

i think silco on paper has potential to be one of my favorite characters on the show, and barring that at least one of the most layered and well crafted. his and vanders dynamic is by no means unique, its very professor x and magneto, which is already something i can take or leave. "oh we were childhood friends and allies fighting for a better future but one of us got soft while the other became hardned and radicalized" the narrative of the terrorist freedom fighter, one corrupted by power is done a Lot bc of a general apprehension in shows like this to endorse violence on the behalf of the oppressed class BUT i think his relationship with jinx was a good addition and if like one or two changes were made it could have been some of the best the show has to offer

for the sake of this post, im going to ignore the reveal that silco knew jinxs mother before her death i think that was dumb and bad. essentially, the show begins with silco and vander at odds- they both are doing what they believe needs to be done in order to secure zauns future, and both of them are ultimatrly hurting zauns people; silco is flooding the streets with shimmer and vander is working with enforcers. silco is primarily motivated by power, but vander is motivated by his love for his kids, this is the only way he has even the slightest assurance that he can keep them from run ins with the law, a law that has a precedent for tossing children in maximum sexurity prisons.

vanders death and silcos subsequent acqusition of jinx flips the coin. there is now something in his life to love, to protect, to care for. he is falling into the same behavior that vander was, even if he is far worse at it bc hes a terrible father whos also a drug lord and just kind of lets his unstable daughter sit in a. ave and build bombs all day. hes not *good* but he *cares* evidenced by him literally needing to be sedated when jinx gets surgery so he didnt flip the fuck out

in a straightforward narrative, this is a story about a man having to choose between his daughter and his passion project. zaun is something he has given his life for, hed do anything to have it succeed... except one thing. that one thing. "there is nothing so undoing as a daughter" is probably one of my favorite lines in the show. i really do wish we had gotten More of them, especially at the beginning when she was a baby and silco doesnt really know what to do with her, which brings me to my next bit-

i think sevika is an indespensible part of the triangle of silco and jinx triangle. i find her position interesting as she is not only second in command, but second to jinx, a literal child. she can be the best right hand man a guy could ask for, she is so dedicated to his cause she betrayed vander, she has given her life and limb for this shit. but she will never be jinx. and i think the conversation of like, how far will silco go before he is forced to choose is kind of awesome. the ultimatum jayce gives him is good it is the breaking point of him trying to do both. he is directly responsible for the "monster" piltover is hunting, he didnt try to keep her in line, he let her do whatever she wanted and he is now directly reaping the consequences. frankly, i think sevika should have been present for that choice in some capacity, eavesdropping or something, so certain that hell make the right choice, its just a girl. and she sees him falter. him not choosing is a choice, he cannot actually make the sacrifices required to get shit done. hed orphan a thousand children to build his utopia, but he cant let go of his girl

anyway all of that was really cool and interesting so you imagine my frustration when his choice is taken from him via jinx flipping out, kidnapping him then shooting him. it was so. anticlimatic. it *feels* like its supposed to be a tragedy, oh she assumes the worst when he was actually going to choose her, but those conclusions feel too. private. like he dies with basically no one knowing he was this close to selling zaun up a river for his girl. i dont think he should have died i think he should have been disgraced for daring to have it all. anyway i think instead of jinx overhearing him talk outloud and coming to the wrong conclusion sevika should have deliberately led her there 1. to piss her off on purpose and 2. prove a point to silco that jinx is unstable and a liability, but not assume shed go far enough to kill him, bc they both still care about him.

overall any of my issues with how his story goes is just a combination of my distaste for that particular archetype, where he is so incredibly comically evil i cannot take a single one of his points seriously even though they Are correct (killmonger. its just killmonger again) and the show just once again not having time for anything with him that is not The Plot. the fondness he has for jinx is apparent i just wish it could COOK longer i wanted MORE, i wanted to see him foster that love of inventing in her, even though it is clearly just because the weapons she makes are helpful to his cause, i want to see her genuinely give input on his ideas, i want to see them talk about vander. his human elements are like too sparse for me to latch on to its like the Idea of them, i go oh i see what you guys are Trying to do. there is too little of him i see him cooing over his daughter then going back to his crack cocaine mines staffed by orphan children and i ask does the show jave anything to say about this cognative dissonance? no? i find it really telling that one chem baron was pissed at the enforcers for her son dying, and yes they were Definitely a factor but WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR SON WORKING IN THE CRACK COCAINE MINES MAAM. YOU WERE KIND OF ASKING FOR IT. theres no like, conversation about what the corrupting influences of power does to the next generation even when the best of intentions are had. jinx constantly taking shimmer in season 2 for power ups, a direct product of her fathers worst tendancies, and it having NO ill effects on her, shes not reduced to the animalistic state of the drug addicts we are CONSTANTLY seeing on the streets bc. why. is she built different. the metaphor is RIGHT THERE her father/shimmer enable her but they are also killing her from the inside mein GOTT.

also the first time i watched this show i kept confusing him with viktor lol

[oinkinpigprince]

Osomatsusan older sibling headcanons!!!!!

In this the sibling is still in highschool, lol(I’m in high school, I want out I’m boutta go bonkers)

Osomatsu

This little shit, he tries so hard to be the respectable older brother. But you know damn well he’s a little scum bag

Gives really bad dating advice, like he knows what he’s talking about. You listen to him and you got yourself a one way ticket to a restraining order

Tries to help you with homework n shit but, he’s secretly illiterate and can’t do long division. He tries his best

If you ask him to do your homework though and you get a low grade, he’ll be so fucking offended. Probably go down to the school himself to complain

DONT THINK JUST BECAUSE YOUR A BABY HE WONT BE A DICK TO YOU

He makes fun of you so fucking hard, it won’t matter if you’re turning 18 in 2 days he’ll come up to you like “ew who left this ugly deformed baby here, get out you stupid little baby!!!”

He isn’t allowed to pick you up from anywhere, you had to walk in the rain cause he forgot you existed lol

This has happened more then once

He worked his ass off to repay you each time though, he’ll spend all the yen he earn to make you forgive him

Genuinely does care for you and if you bring someone home, he’ll pull the scary big brother act. Doesn’t matter your gender or your partners gender. He needs to show them who they’re gonna have to deal with >:((

Karamatsu

Karamatsu is SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING, YOU CANT GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM

Pray to god he never sees you hanging out with friends, he’ll unintentionally embarrass the hell out of you

You two locked eyes and you knew damn and well it was over for you

“Is that my dearest baby sibling? Oh and they have company! My dearest angel baby sibling may I accompany thee to make sure no one gives you any trouble”

“Karamatsu I’m fucking 17” “nonsense, I know you have trouble speaking up for yourself so allow me to! My darling baby sibling”

He just wants to make sure his dearest darling angel baby sweetest little sibling is okay and doesn’t get hurt

Actually very sweet, and just wants you to know you’re loved and cared for. He’s probably the best one to come to if you’re having problems

He probably will cry if you struggle with insecurities and self doubt, you’re so cool how fucking could you >:((

If you wanna explore your style him and Todomatsu are your guys. He’d probably love dolling you up in his flashy clothing

The rest of the brothers make fun of you, but the happiness in Karamatsu’s eyes seeing his baby sibling indulge in his wacky clothing sense makes it worth it

Cannot fathom you doing ANYTHING wrong, he could watch you smoke crack out of a pipe and he’s just like “lol, what cool magic tricks my dearest sibling does!”

Will fight tooth and nail for you, even if you’re in the wrong

“Hey (y/n)! You took my fucking donut”

“how could you even fathom them doing something so stupid they would never!”

“Lol i totally did”

“. . . My dear baby sibling once again, taking the blame so their elder brothers don’t have to fight! Taking on the burden of keeping us from tearing each other apart! Truly remarkable!”

Choromatsu

Mother hen!! Smothers you a lot to make sure you’re doing fine and you’re getting enough sleep, food, and water(I think he just likes the authority he gets over you)

If you’re a shut in he’ll take you on walks around the park and maybe buy you a little treat, to make sure you don’t shrivel away in the dark

Has beaten osomatsu and Karamatsu’s asses for doing your home work for you. Makes you do it yourself but guides you to the right answer

Probably pressures you into taking higher classes, joining clubs, and other things. Wants you to he successful and well rounded so you aren’t stuck like him and the other brothers

If you are also into idols he is ECSTATIC, if he wants to share his interests and hobbies with anyone it’s YOU

Actually loves listening to the music you enjoy, even if it’s death metal or rap. He’ll indulge in it to get closer to you.

You and him have lazy days where you watch magical girl shows like salior moon or madoka

Hassles you on your friends and what they’re like, doesn’t care for drama but likes to keep tabs on the types of crowds you’re in

If you get sick, it’s fucking over for you. Will not let you out of bed for a hurricane, will make you sleep in that bad and take all of the gross medicines that make you feel sicker than before

Ichimatsu

Doesn’t actually talk to you much, he loves you and all but just kinda tries and hides from you at home

He feels like a total fuck up, and hates the idea of you seeing him as a useless bag of garbage

Ichimatsu though does like watching you grow up, when he sees you out with friends he can’t help but tear up a little

Seeing you so happy with your friends makes him feel all warm and fuzzy, he just hope you’re being true to yourself unlike him

He totally goes to fuck it up though, 100% he spots you with your friends and decides ‘I’m gonna ruin this precious moment’ strolls up like “you kids ever heard of goatse?”

You have to SCREECH at him before he scares off your friends, he thinks it’s so fucking funny the way you try and claw at his face to give him to shut up

“You ever heard of this thing called un-bir-” “OMFG GO AWAY YOU CHRONICALLY ONLINE TROLL!!!!!”

Absolute bastard, he knows it pisses you off

Sometimes though, he’ll bring you a random cat and just kinda, hand it to you. You have to pet it, it’s the law, you have to listen to your big brother, he’ll call the fuckin, pet the cat, don’t make him call the police on you

He’s the reason why you cannot tell your brothers if you’re going on a date, he’ll find you, and when he does. You might as well have cancel the date and faked your own death and move to Russia

Scares the shit out of you and your partner, you and your partner are sitting at a cute cafe and he just sits right next to your partner and stares so intensely, unblinking

It doesn’t end until your partner leaves, mission success. Doesn’t even say goodbye just leaves

Jyushimatsu

Makes you play baseball with him, he’s the reason you can pitch a perfect throw

Wants to be around you constantly, and knows exactly how to make you smile and laugh, and abuses it horribly

He’s actually one of the sweetest brothers, he’ll try and help you with EVERYTHING, doesn’t matter if he’s any good

Would really want you to join a sport but if you end up being more into the arts he’s just as happy

He still thinks of you as a little baby so when you mention anything about highschool or normal teenage activities hes Just Like “BUT YOURE LIKE 3?!” “JYUSHI IM FUCKING 18”

Jyushimatsu had no perception of time, you’re 3 years old forever, sorry

Him and Choromatsu bring you out a lot, especially if you don’t go out he’ll drag you to do activities, and he gets creative

He’ll pick you up and go “ewwww, look at this stinky baby, let’s throw it back in the dumpster”

Jyushimatsu never lets you over work yourself, every time he sees you even remotely stressed he is ON IT, he’ll octopus wrestle you onto the floor for a nap, no escape

Jyushi also is probably the most ride or die person you will meet, if you told him you kicked a yakuza member in the balls and stole their money and contraband he’ll just nod and say “okay, let me go get my bat” and help you dismantle the entire crime district just so you don’t get hurt

But usually he’ll just drive you to target to go replace a vase you broke

Todomatsu

You’re his only sibling, he only has a younger sibling and he will die on that fact

Todomatsu will often take you out to drink coffee and take pictures, he loves spending time with you almost as much as Jyushimatsu and buys you tones of cute clothes

He loves playing dress up w/ you, especially if you’ll let him dress you up really girly

He’ll grab you and use you to pick up chicks too, playing the perfect big brother role. He acts so sweet but you know it’s a slimey little act

Todo constantly asks who your favorite brother is, kicking his legs up trying to look cute. God forbid you say anyone but him, he once refused to talk to you for a week cause you said someone else

“ WELL WHY DONT YOU GO ASK YOUR FAAAAV BROTHER THEN!!”

He is really cuddly though, you’re having a bad day and just wanna relax go to him. He’ll get you some snacks and put on a movie and you two will just sit under a blanket and talk shit about the other people at your high school

He also loooves the Highschool drama, he will sit you down and buy you coffee just for the chance to judge a bunch of children’s morality choices and also spend time with you. Friend drama? Class drama? Some kid almost died from alcohol poisoning in math class? He’s all ears

Todomatsu will also tell you about all of the shit he use to get into during his highschool year (he’s totally not lying or really did happen you have to believe him)

When it comes to dating he actually have some decent advice but also complains, how can you get bitches and he can’t?! It’s not fair he’s cuter than you!!

You feel so loved in this house

[mildew-mop]

#i hope its not weird but it was very interesting learning about your sight#i have to wear glasses#and sometimes i see spots and stuff and its annoying#those fake fix classes bullshit are such bullshit#i remember a while ago my grandma tried explaining to me that i needed to want to be able to see properly to not need glasses#i can barely make out anything more than 3 feet away from me#thats not on purpose#my grandma literally told me to eat more carrots so i didn't have to wear glasses#i cant#ableism Not weird at all! I'm glad it was interesting to read! I always say that joke from that one old contacts commercial "I have special eyes." lol my retired optometrist lOVED when i came in because my eyes are def a unique case and he told me based on my history of prescription lenses, I can detect quarter axis changes in my astigmatism. most people dont detect it usually unless it has changed at least half, if not all the way on the axis. so the fact i notice quarter changes meant that I had to get prescriptions every 6 months, but since then it seems my eyes have slowed down and i am able to retain my glasses for a year before needing new ones. I am actually due for new glasses bc my left lens' coating got messed up so there's like, splotches on the lens but i can barely see out of that eye anyway! so it hasnt been a pressing issue. i have heard the carrot thing as well many times. And YEAH SEE like some people truly believe that you have to make the decision to see, or like your grandmother, you have to WANT to see. and they will tell you even if you say youve tried everything, these coaches will basically gaslight you into thinking you just aren't trying hard enough, even if you are trying your best.

it just isnt possible lmfao I hope one of these Dumb asses actually has a vision problem one day, i wouldn't wish blindness on anyone but when their eyes start to deteriorate due to aging and suddenly they need reading glasses, what are they going to do, say no? Say that they have the willpower to see? If so, the migraines are on their part and no one else's. God forbid one of these idiots has a kid one day who needs glasses but they refuse to get them glasses because they want to try to take some sort of holistic approach to vision??? tell their own child they just have to believe to see. And force them to go through a lifetime of never having their vision checked. What if one of these people has a totally blind kid? you gonna tell them they just need to believe to see, do you know how heart wrenching it is to think that it could be that easy LOL because my eyes have had the max amount of physical surgery on my eyes and I am still half blind. The only case I have ever heard of where someone miraculously gained sight was someone who was blind due to psychosomatic reasons, but once the trauma was dealt with, they had vision again. but even in that case, if you are psychosomatically blind or deaf (hell you can be psychosomatically diabetic) it is just as real as actually being blind or deaf and cannot be controlled. Diabetic alters will actually be diabetic and may need to take insulin to maintain the body's health when other alters do not have the diabetes.

(the truth is in that case, the body is diabetic but it is psychosomatically sectioned to one alter who has to take care of it.) It only goes away if it is being caused by a particular part, or parts who work their stuff out and stop sending out psychosomatic stressors. Even then, it may not improve. Belief and willpower have absolutely NOTHING to do with the eyes and i wish these people to step off of a cliff. ... into something soft but like still.

There's a lot of people who probably shouldn't be parents.

[archer3-13]

SO! I sat down and played through the remainder of fe engages story. Overall, pretty fun if cheezy and corny as all get out, the tokusatsu of fire emblem if I had to put a name to the overall package in look and feel. However, I will note that it took me a bit longer then it otherwise would [pretty breazy experience overall, by fe standards] because I went out of my way to grind out all the units to lvl20/20. Why? mostly out of an ingrained habit of curiosity when it comes to statistical averages on fe units. Note that minimal reclassing was done as well to get the best sense of what these units are like, statistically, at their core best i can. I'll toss out any mention of reclassing I feel might be relevant or practical for people interested in using the units. IDK if this will help anyone, or if anyones even interested in this, but... well might as well right?

below the read more

alear: statistically definitely more on the ike or hector side of things overall of being kinda busted, but I would put alear overall as comparable to POR ike. In that they dont start on an amazing foot feelin a bit average/weak overall but can pretty quickly snowball until by the end of things their taking on every mfer single handed. alear seems to lean towards spd and def of all things the most heavily but overall with attention and care they'll easily be a contender for 'most busted ass unit in the game'

vander: the only unit i didnt end up training, and the only unit I will note as 'use at your own expense'. Vander is a hard classic jegen, starting with stats only slightly above average when you get him, and being an absolute exp sink for the early portion of the game. you get a lot of stat boosters at certain points, so if your willin to put up with him or just willing to use drugs/get a second seal early then hes an easy punt to the bench.

clanne: mixed bulk mage, in that he has an actual str/def growth though at the cost of not being quite as magic happy. He leans more on the offensive side id say being a bit fragile overall but hes a very easy shoe in for a mage knight.

framme: framme on the other hand is the mixed bulk leaning of the defensive side of things being honestly quite bulky once she starts going for a healer. in the martial master class due to how fists calculate damage she can also hit somewhat above her weight too. unlike clanne however who can make an easier impression being offensively oriented, ya have to wanna go for framme as she takes longer to hit a solid groove. alternatively, if your otherwise good for healers id recommend plopping her in the armour knight class or something that can take advantage of her mixed bulk.

alfred: right off the start i'll note that none of the side lords really disappoint id say. They all have unique classes with some solid skills and utility. now that thats out of the way, alfred is gonna hit hard and hes gonna take a physical hit well as hes pretty firmly weighted in those two stats. magic use and magic hits will be an issue to look out for. hes a blunt stick and he'll do it well.

etie: glass cannon extraordinaire, she'll struggle early on as her blds weak and she has practically non existent growth in bld so the weight of weapons will hold her spd back and make dodging difficult. plus as a glass cannon she cannot take a hit to save her life. that said her str and spd are gonna snowball hard later on to the point of chewing up armours pretty handedly with a bow and causing extreme overkill on fliers. patch up her bld with inheritance from leif, and shes a solid choice for any team. well i went sniper for her this run, I feel bow knights a better fit for her for the mobility.

boucheron: an odd fellow, hes got the usual axe fighter insane hp and solid speed but his atks on the mediocre side for his class so he'll be relying on his weapon for damage. it coulda been worse, but you can definitely do better in this game as he overall does not impress. of note though bld will never be an issue for him as he starts off with a solid amount and seems to have high growth in it, so if ya do use him consider putting him in a class that will puff out his speed more? not as frail as etie to a stiff wind but dont expect miracles.

celine: definitely the most questionable of the side lords in this game, celine gets sold to ya as a mage like with some physical capabilities, but over the run she ended up pretty consistently having more str then magic overall. the questionable aspect of this being that her spds not quite high enough and her def low enough that she cant really duke it out in cqc to justify that higher str. her unique class makes up for it i feel with its utility and access to ignis helpin her pump out more damage, but she is unfortunately the weakest of the side lords statistically I feel.

chloe: unlike @ezralahm opinion on the matter I dont feel chloes that busted of a unit overall. not bad certainly, statistically across the board she was on the higher end of things but my general experience with chloe would note a consistent problem of not being fast enough to make up for her bld, not hitting hard enough overall, and not being able to take hits quite well enough to justify bringing her on more missions with me. Could just be that she ended up getting stat screwed for me but overall... shes good but not great stat wise. that said, she gets enough mag growth to serve as a solid healer and use magic weapons well so like celine she gets points for utility from me.

louis: is an armour knight, much armour knight, so armour knight. stupid high def and hp growth, solid str, reliable enough skl and eh everything else with a particular weakspot for res. if your gonna use an armour knight to do armour knight things, louis will be a solid choice. That said I would actually recommend changing him into a lance fighter/halberdier if your not looking for a pure armour knight, as that should help even his curve out a bit well still givin ya a nice solid wall unit for physical attacks.

jean: the first paralogue recruit unit, jean is your donnel of the game which are the recent trend of ests with special skills that increase their growths to the est highs and who come a bit earlier then your usual ests. jean character wise is my fave of the donnels, and stat wise he'll happily fit into any role ya need him to quite comfortably. plus since he starts as a healer he has a lot of immediate utility compared to previous donnels as he can pretty happily keep to the back healing as he builds his earlier levels. I went high priest for him and he turned out a solid magic user with good spd and mag but i can see him doing well in most classes.

yunaka: yunaka here, if louis is an armour knight armour knight then yunaka is a thiefs thief leaning pretty weightily towards spd/skl over other stats. her offense stats are solid though so as far as thiefs go shes a solid choice and the fact that its a special class this time gives her some nice extra punch/mov when ya first get her for that point of the game. she also has some pretty solid mag and res going for her so if ya wanna glue the micaiah ring to her/go in a mage direction cause screw thiefs ya wont be disappointed with the results.

alcryst: leans rather heavily on skill/dex as a dump stat for all intents and purposes but overall hes more offensively oriented so its not all bad. plus as a side lord his special class gets a nice perk in the form of luna which when combined with his better then most chance to crit and double keeps him pretty relative for the entire run.

anna: your second paralogue unit, and one im not quite sure what to say about. i honestly think she got stat screwed pretty hard in my run as shes the only unit i dumped a lot of stat boosters on [cause i was dammned if i was gonna leave her behind] but i also think its just a problem of the class shes in. anna does not want to be an axe fighter or its promoted derivatives, she wants to be a magic user or a mixed magic atk class or just an out and out thief. so, if your gonna use her try to get her into one of said classes early on and save yourself a lot of headaches.

citrinne: magic nuke mage, like etie a stiff breeze will knock her over on the defensive side but her speeds not quite as good which makes her a bit more fragile then etie. when it comes to physical attacks atleast, cause alongside high mag citrinne has high res making her a pretty solid magic wall that can take the magic hits and dish out heavy punishment in return. she'll have a bit of trouble doubling though on anything that has decent speed so watch out.

lapis: speeed, lapis goes the most heavily on speed and with her meh defence shes definitely going to be relying on being a dodge tank over taking hits. ive seen a lot of people go for swordmaster for her, but i went hero this run and she did pretty well for herself [i figured it would help patch up her atk which i was worried about at the time]. her early game definitely felt rough though, so she needs the time and room to grow into a murder machine if your lookin to get your moneys worth from her.

diamant: well his personal skill might seem like a hamper diamants got enough speed and def that his high hp can easily eat, and his unique class has a solidly procing sol and good str and eat back lost health on a regular basis. well he was never a shining hector or ike during my run, of the side lords diamant was pretty consistently delivering good results and fighting at the front of things.

amber: definitely started off kinda iffy being just shy of good in any one area to make him kinda mediocre and hard to get going. it was his later levels that endeared me to him as amber gets a lot of str letting him hit hard and his stats elsewhere are solid enough that even if hes not the most resilient he can weather hits well enough that the punishment he deals out to enemies in return or on the attack are more then worth it.

jade: your other armour knight and of the two between her and louis the one that spreads her growths out a bit more evenly. I put her into great knight on promotion as a result and she served quite well as one but on any subsequent runs i'll probably try and push her into wyvern knight instead for reasons ill probably note when getting to rosado. a flexible unit overall though and she comes to ya at a decent enough level that id consider her a pretty easy/consistent take on any given run.

ivy: pretty darn fun unit to use, comes at a relatively high level for where ya get her. ivy sits pretty handidly near the top of the side lords having flying magic utility, access to staves giving her more utility, and a solid stat line that leaves ya with a flying mage that has solid bulk, strong atk and sustainable spd. her class unique skill also adds some additional punch to her attacks case ya werent killing things fast enough. all in all, ivy secures herself as a persistent mainstay on any team in my opinion.

kagetsu: sadly i didn't use him all that often, not because hes bad hes a prepromote coming in relatively early with a solid statline and growths that keep him relevant the entire time. the problem is that cause i was grinding everyone else out he had to sit in the back for a while, and by the time i was bringing him out again he no longer stood out just being your usual swordmaster prepromote. you wont go wrong in using him, and on a regular run i can definitely see myself gravitating towards him but still. hes a workhorse, not special in any way unfortunately.

zelkov: zelkov on the other hand stands out quite a lot despite being your second thief. like yunaka hes got good atk, spd and skill for a thief but unlike yunaka who goes into mag and res as well zelkov dumps more emphasizes on atk and def of all things becoming a pretty reliably tanky thief who was hitting real hard even on armour knights [which yunaka struggled a bit with comparatively]. he'll be your usual dodge tank thief and if he does get hit it usually wont hurt him too badly, which gives him a nice distinctive quality and niche compared to kagetsu.

fogado: the return of the nomad trooper [seriously his animations are pretty clearly based on the nomad trooper]. hes a swordmaster on a horse with a bow, which automatically makes him awesome and gives him good utility as an archer that can poke in and out much more easily and switch to a melee sword stabby approach when push comes to shove. of note though is that hes also carting around a pretty good mag growth so things like the radiant bow or levin sword are real handy on him. his unique class and skills can also really pile on the damage especially in a pinch so if ya take the time he'll easily be near the top of your side lord list.

pandreo: another kinda early prepromote this time of the high priest class. pandreo is much more comfortable with magic then with physical attacks however and sits pretty comfortably in the usual 'bishop' territory as it were where magic attacks and tanking are where hes best at in combat but physical attacks can easily take their toll. if your hurt for a healer or magic damager he'll definitely fill that niche quite handedly but dont expect to much else.

bunet: kinda a disappointment all things considered, well he gets much better at it over time his def isn't good enough to make him a reliable tank for his spd early on [though as i noted it gets much better later on in his curve]. his biggest weakness though is that he hits like a fucking kitten, im sure he got str screwed a bit in my run but that doesnt change the fact that he needed a str booster to start hitting hard enough to justify that high defense build. if your using bunet i recommend punting him from great knight and putting him in a class that will give him a solid boost to his atk.

timerra: the number one side lord in my opinion, atleast in terms of raw combat. timerra continues the odd engage trend of speedy tanks though in her case she leans more towards speed then to the def side of that equation. her def is still really good though, letting her tank a lot of hits especially if ya let her keep the ike ring which pushes it even higher. well her str is a bit of an issue, i feel her unique class skill more then makes up for it as sandstorm piles on a truly ridiculous amount of damage of any given hit. and as stated shes fast so her lower atk isnt quite as bad as it could be with relatively consistent doubling. and she tanks. outside of some weak mag and res shes the complete package in many ways.

panette: do you like raw str? do you like hp? thats basically all your gonna get with panette to a frankly criminal degree given she was the only unit to hit past 40 on a non hp stat and that was all concentrated in her atk. in her native class of berseker, she has solid enough dex to make use of her high atk and well every other stat on her might as well not exist her hps high enough that she can eat a couple of hits without dying even if she very much doesnt want to. my advice though for panette would be to push her out of berserker as soon as possible and put her in as a swordmaster or something that can help bulk out some of her other stats. because frankly she doesnt need the help in atk berserker offers and would benefit a lot more from an actually stable/decent spd or def stat.

merrin: swordmaster on a dog with a dagger, merrin wont be hitting as hard as ya might like but shes got some really solid spd and skl to her and can be built into a fairly reliable dodge tank/crit machine if your inclined to. plus her access to daggers gives her some of that dagger utility of poison weakening foes and the high move of a swordmaster on a doggo means she can get to where she needs to be pretty easily.

hortensia: a walking staffbot encouraged by the game itself. hortensia has no def, hp or str, eh magic and skl, and stupidly high amounts of lck spd and res. her personal skill gives her additional range on all staves. her unique class skill gives her a chance of saving a use on a staff. her unique class has a bloody c in tomes meaning shes stuck to the elfires and elwinds for magic damage. hortensia is a flying staffbot and is best kept in that role. the sheer utility of such a role mind you and her expertise in it means she ranks highly in my opinion among the side lords due to that utility alone. but shes never gonna excel in combat in her native class at least, and shes likely going to be mostly confined to having any strong applicability in the magic classes.

seadall: as your only dancer outside of emblem byleths special move, it doesnt really matter if seadall is statistically any good and at the point he comes in hes arguably a bit under leveled. with that all said, hes decent enough when trained that he can deal some damage and survive rounds of combat, and thats all ya can really ask of a dancer is that they survive if attacked so they can keep dancing away for the rest of your army. he wont be winning any awards for combat though so keep that in mind.

rosado: an odd case of a wyvern knight in that rosados built more like a falcon knight then a wyvern knight statistically speaking. albeit one with solid strength, but overall rosado will be dodging hits more reliably then actually tanking hits so if your gonna use them especially in their native class treat rosado more like a falcon knight in terms of combat then a wyvern knight.

goldmary: starts off as a pretty standard hero, but overtime goldmary will be mostly growing in defense then any other stat so prepare for a bit of awkwardness in the middle and then a tanky hero near the end when her defence is starting to overtake her str. if your lacking an armour knight/general and just really want one, shes not a bad candidate for reclassing into one where her high def will go stupidly higher.

lindon: a suprise but a welcome one, lindon comes in at a good level with solid enough stats that if your still hurting for a magic user or a staff bot he can slip into that role and help carry things to the end game pretty reliably. not much else to say there statistically, hes a later game sage that you can depend on.

saphir: comes in swinging on a real strong note statistically and ends things up on a decent enough note, shes a late game physical unit thats there to cover your ass if lacking enough physical brute force to make it to the end game. and she definitely leans more towards the classic warrior statistically categories of strong hp/atk and middling other stats. that said overall statistically shes a lot like diamant so like diamant she'll be a reliable frontline unit to the end but not quite as much due to lacking his unique class skill.

veyle: cittrine not work out as a magic nuke? well have another in the form of veyle, she hits real hard and has access to some strong unique weapons but get this, her spd and build are low enough she cant reliably dodge and double when wielding her heavier weapons and her def is low enough she cant afford to take to many hits. shes not bad, but shes not great overall on the statistical end of things.

mauvier: for all intents and purpose hes your athos of the game, having a strong statistical spread that lets him handle pretty much anything and access to a class that has solid utility ontop of the attack qualities. hes there to baby ya along to the end of the game if ya fucked up badly enough essentially. with that said he also leans more towards the defensive stats then the offensive side of things so expect him to be more so reliable bait then a reliable killer. his native classes caps for def also arent fantastic so possibly consider a reclass if ya wanna better take advantage of them.

[sodasober]

DONT APOLOGIZE I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE ME!!! im a uquiz user…

responding to these individually jn my notes app

also wanna know something i think is funny? technically this is correct???? well i mean the firdt thing it asked was the castle but. yeah im a leo im an olive blood

Ok so. Olive blood means youre agreeable, but youre also not that fond of change of scenery. youre helpful, in fact, you try to be as helpful as possible no matter what it takes. if someone has hurt you, it usually doesnt stop you from enjoying yourself and your heart remains open, however, the people who hurt you will live to regret it. 

you .. probably also like animals quite a bit! — everybody who knows me knows how afraid of change i am and how terrible i am at it, but also how protective and passionate i am about my interests. so that is true. also. i do try to be helpful like a friends sad and i instantly go to comments like “you okay??? wanna 🌮 bout it????” but also the last part isnt as accurate i cannot deal with losing someone and it will usually take me forever to find the courage to stop being friends with sombody…also i LOVE animals!!!! but im a bit indifferent about dogs, and insects…

interesting thing is that being a derse dreamer is somewhat contradictory of parts of that. It involves being in a "constant state of dissatisfaction" and not resting until something is done with that dissatisfaction. it often involves pessimism and being introverted, and somewhat closed off. it involves looking to the future and past but rarely the present. — god damn it i hare how accurate this is. dude i dont even have anything to add onto this like?? you just told me everything???

the light aspect aligns with that last part, too! it involves wanting answers. seeking knowledge above anything else. it involves doing anything you can to get that knowledge, and being able to turn it into something useful when you do obtain it. 

Its also associated with telling long stories to people, and having a lot to say , having a lot on your mind usually. — this is a part of me i could totally agree with. ive talked about my inquiry / inquisitiveness to people before, and i think its quite obvious. whether its simple or complex, i want to comprehend it

i want to elaborate on these, cuz theres SOOO much more i could say but like. that might give away who i an and stuff AND ALSO. thats too much reflection for me i dont wanna think about myself right now!!!! that probably says a lot about me, um, oops.

also, what does this make me? like. the. title how to i find out my title…somethibg of light ig

i could also easily see myself being a heart player, though. not gonna lie

The title isnt rly something i can assign based off of the extended zodiac results ,, when i classpected myself i just picked what fit most imo lolol. from what i know about u (from the stuff u just told me in response to the analysis lol) i think light fits good , but at the same time idk- the thing is, if u wanna find out ur class AND aspect, then u gotta consider how those 2 interact! cause a seer of light and a thief of light are very different from each other. this is also putting more focus on the game mechanics of it all. light, in sburb/sgrub is about Knowledge, fortune, and actual light. fun thing about classes is that once u include those , things get way more complicated because theres for example bards and princes who "destroy" their aspect, which makes them act/seem like theyre the literal opposite of that aspect. if that makes any sense .. i recommend skimming through the fandom wiki page for classes, or maybe going to an analysis blog like this one (personally, i used to go on a blog called sburbanalysis but currently it seems like a WIP archiving blog so idk)

good luck . i think!

[cerissy]

blog beginnings: skincare + makeup

currently in the mood to try blogging again. today is my day off, and i promised myself that i will let boredom takeover my life more often. i cherish boring days because this is the time when i embrace doing random things and completely abandon any type of planning.

today i feel like talking about makeup and skincare. im not an expert though, just an enthusiast.

for skincare, i usually wear makeup and sunscreen (laneige hydro UV defense), so i like to take it off using the farmacy green clean cleansing balm. i ran out of this product recently, and sephora canada stopped carrying them (honestly RUDE), so i got a small size of the clinique take the day off charcoal cleansing balm just to try it out. i am not sure if im a fan of the clinique one... it doesn't do the job as good as the farmacy one 😐 after that i cleanse my face with the inkey list salicylic acid cleanser cause im a double cleanse girlie.

im on the hunt for a new toner so that's coming soon, and i recently got the needly daily toner pads which are so popular in korea right now. i tried it and i found that it already made me skin so soft and balanced after just 1 day of use 😮 of course im going to keep using this. after this i would use serums but im also out of the ordinary niacinamide serum so it's not in the photo. then i use a moisturizer (innisfree green tea hyaluronic acid cream).

sometimes i do masks too!

i enjoy using makeup but im not as interested in it as i am with skincare for some reason 😋 i like to change up the products i use but the ones i have been using for a long time are these ones:

tarte face tape foundation (not pictured because im trying sephora's best skin ever foundation as i heard it's a dupe. it's not. maybe in the first hour? it doesn't last as long as the face tape foundation. listen, i know it can cost your kidneys, but the tarte foundation is amazing unfortunately 🤠)

tarte shape tape concealer (using a mini one right now because im looking for a dupe… again, this shit is expensive.)

glossier boy brow (i cannot find any good dupes either. love love love this product)

glossier pro-tip eyeliner (i love this because ive been in countless situations where i cried: went to therapy sessions where i cried, i was wearing this to the hospital when my dad was sick and i cried, i went to class and talked about heavy issues and i cried... and it never smudged. no racoon eyes. thank you glossier.)

kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick (which has been discontinued apparently. i love the lolita ii shade though. oh well)

kissme heroine make mascara (the only mascara for me. dont sleep on jbeauty! in the pic i also have the maybelline sky high mascara but i find that it doesn't last as long as kissme)

tarte aquaflash foundation brush (mermaid vibes, but also reeeaallly great when im using liquid products)

rare beauty liquid touch foundation brush (im starting to really like rare beauty)

newer ones im trying:

lys no limits cream bronzer stick (it's okay. very creamy and blendable!)

colorgram fruity glass tint (ummm no. the packaging is so cute but the product itself is a pass for me)

i use two eyeshadow palettes: colourpop smoke & roses and huda beauty rose quartz because i love pink shades and subtle glitter

colourpop sailormoon pink powder blush (i mean it's pink. and it's sailormoon.)

anastasia beverly hills translucent setting powder (i really want the charlotte tilbury one)

i have no setting spray at the moment but usually it's the nyx dewy finish setting spray. i also want the charlotte tilbury one...

as you may have noticed, i need to go shopping to restock 😋 i hope this entertained you a little bit, or even picked up some useful recommendations and ideas for your own skincare and makeup routine 😊 haircare, on the other hand, is a whole other beast.

[ryuuseini]

I really need to get this off my chest I'm just... I keep being told "learn to love yourself!! You cant expect people to love you if you dont love yourself first!" And "what do you mean everyone leaves you like youre purposely ignoring all the stable relationships you've had just to play the victim" by my family and im fucking sick of it.

To the first point - there are times where people are so deep in their self loathing and hatred, been told again and again they are unworthy of love, that they need someone to lend a hand in teaching how to self love. Because not everyone can do so when the world around them is constantly saying otherwise.

And to their second point - fuck off. Yeah, maybe its not good that I'm grouping people who do care in the same category as the people who don't... but have you considered that like, shit like this is triggering? Having a friend who promised to be there for you legitimately ruining your life; having a friend who said she was your friend and wanted to hang out with you, but each time you made plans she canceled last minute because it was her sister's birthday that day or some shit (only to see she hangs out with everyone else just fine); a person who said that they'll be friends with you and when you're floored by the fact that they waited for you instead of heading straight to class after gym, said "of course, I said I was your friend and I meant it," only for them to randomly ghost you like barely a month after this interaction and just decide to act like you exist simply when they want to, which is never, and you're just wondering what the hell you did to cause that; to the nicest girl in your class telling you, straight up, "of course you don't deserve friends! You just transferred here senior year, we already have cliques and friends we trust, how do you expect to break that?"; to the person who told you that he'll show you you're worthy of being loved, only to proceed to blame you for all of his unexplainable anger; to the friends who you thought had your best interest but talked about you behind your back about how much they hated you, to the point they willingly harassed you because you decided to leave; to the friends that said they'll try to be your friend but got mad when you pointed out that they rejected every single attempt for you to get closer but kept saying "you can join this one server we have" despite me explicitly stating that I Did Not Feel Safe There because someone who had harassed and stalked me was still in that server and there were zero protections offered for me to even feel safe in such an environment, only for them to decide a person who was suffering from such pain deserved no friends and got all of our shared friends to leave me, despite this being a private personal issue between me and them that I handled privately; to being blamed for a grown man's potential heart attack and that being JUSTIFIED by others while you're still a minor; to just... so many other bullshits I genuinely cannot describe, each happening within the relatively short time span of 5 years. Don't you think??? Don't you just think for a second??? That my brain is conditioned to think this way??? And being told "stop trying to play the fucking victim and realize the friends you DO have" is just ignoring the fact that I literally cannot because the pain is far stronger in my mind than the opposite? But you do nothing but help, so whatever.

And then I remember my first high-school. How I was gaslit, not only by my bully... But by the adults who were supposed to help me as well. I didn't feel safe attending any clubs, and the one club I did attend because he wasn't there... most of the people made fun of me anyway, there was no point. He was in every club with me, and instead of working out a thing so I - the kid who frequently felt isolated - could have a chance to socialize, I simply was expected to just not participate. I was suicide baited the day before a huge school trip by a friend of my bully under my bully's name, and when I went to tell the teacher hey, this happened, can you make sure I'm not paired up with this student who was also going to the trip, my bully stuck around to hear that, only to corner me at my locker to lie to me that he did care I got suicide baited (despite the fact I had texts stating that he only cared if the girl who had sent the texts under his name was going to get in trouble, and not the fact that I had been told my life was essentially meaningless) and had a girl who wasn't involved in the situation, who I thought was my friend, back him up and agree with all his points until I cried that I wanted to die and he should just kill me. The trip got canceled for me, but he was still allowed to go on it. We shared classes together and they were working to take me out of my classes to make my health better. One of these classes was my favorite class - the class where the teacher treated me like an actual fucking human being, the class I felt the safest in, the class I would hide in even when the teacher was teaching a different class because I felt fucking safe, the class that I wasn't put in initially for some reason but fought to be in - and they simply chose to take me out of the class instead of punishing him. How the head guidance counselor, to my face, told me "how can you say your bully isn't a friend of yours? He took the time to skip a class because he was concerned about you, how is that NOT something a friend would do?" And how, when I simply couldn't take the abuse anymore, they kicked me out of the school, forcing me to go elsewhere, where I did. And I didn't make any lasting friends and people ignored me 90% of the time, and at that 10% they cared I felt like... I had to pretend that they didn't fucking ghost me 9/10 times... Only for that school to fucking shut down at the end of my junior year, forcing me to go to another high-school my senior year, where I really had no one... Because that girl was right. Everyone already had their friend groups... I couldn't be expected to break that.

I'm just... I'm just not okay.

[valla-chan]

thisss... I was gonna write this in the tags but actually i wanna share with the class cause i dont get to do that with this story often enough.

In the original book and iirc the original Japanese movie, Sadako was written as a transexual/intersex child and is killed out of disgust after a doctor sees her genitals. A lot of articles exist online that explain the queer subtext better than I can, and this post sort of assumes a base level assumption of those ideas. And when I think about her character, regardless of iteration (sadako, samara, etc) i think of it like in this post. Even if the movie ending and some other parts makes it feel very much her fault like, “oh actually she is just killing indiscriminately and will curse a kid too.” but the cursing a kid as well kinda works, if you think about her being outcasted even as a kid and resenting their normalcy.

And I justify a lot of my ideas about her as a sympathetic victim-driven-villain because there is nothing that anyone can truly do to help her now that she is dead. Someone "saving her" (her remains) and feeling like the hero for it doesn't bring her back. There is some amount of gratefulness and self revealed in that moment, but it doesnt really fix anything. It's just people, once again, trying to find a way to fix her and make her not be the way she is because it is distressing or a problem for them. Like when she was at the mental hospital, and the doctors wanted to help her, but they do it to try to use or quell her ability, rather than as a form of her deepest communication that they can listen to.

Maybe the real idea is (or should be taken as):

Either spread my message to everyone so i can keep living in some form and have my story told,

Or try to cover it up once again、try to “fix” me again、and you'll see what happens.

I kinda resent how much the ring got turned into a big mainstream gawkfest instead of thinking about its deeper ideas, but I also literally cannot complain because the entire reason I found it was through youtube parodies. And to me that is kinda interesting, in the same way that the Hunger Games movies got turned into the same sort of popcorn throwing audience spectacle that the books warned the reader of— that the tributes' stories would become when viewed on a giant screen as entertainment.

And to me this feels ironically similar, when taken as a story about a girl who was different, who everyone tried to "fix" for being how she was, who people hated for expressing herself in a way that only she could, and who was disposed of like trash for lashing out from her situation... Only for it to be portrayed as a story of adult struggles with raising a broken weird kid, protecting careless "normal" youths from her story, and once again is centered on the adult who sees her as a case who needs fixing.

And in the American version of the movie, the story is just like hers: a copy of a copy, adapted and retold each time until the image gets fuzzier and fuzzier, losing details, becoming less of a story about the girl who was killed and more of a spooky VHS tape sitting in a room somewhere.

The Ring could so easily have been written as an abused child's revenge fantasy. A child trapped in a situation where they are terrified reaching out with their mind because that's all they can do and projecting that feeling of terror. A demonized child who no one is listening to forcing everyone to listen.

It's powerful. I wish it had been written that way.

[7wanderingpaws]

Mess We Made - first (m)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, highschool AU (first chapter only), university AU, fluff, ANGST

Words: 9.4K

WARNINGS: mature content, unprotected sex, cheating (not bbh), terrible family relations

Quick A/N: Finally, the anticipated full story for this drabble is coming! This will have more chapters! I am a bit self-conscious about this one. But I think it is a good challenge to grow as a writer. Hopefully it worked. Please let me know what you thought? ^^

Plot: You were willing to put the both of you through suffering without realizing you might hurt Baekhyun's feelings in the process. Even though he was yours, you were never his. And he would not stand in the way anymore.

tags: @byunfirstlady​ (hope you dont mind the tag; you were interest and since its been ages I tagged you to let you know 🥺 if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)

parts: first -- second -- third -- fourth (final)

-

Mess We Made, part 1

“Psst,” you heard from your right side as you walked through the corridors of your high school. Before you even managed to look in the direction of where the sound came from, a hand grabbed you, swiftly bringing you into the darkness of the corner, the cold wall pressing into your back. Baekhyun came into view with his breath-taking smile as his lips hovered over yours, stretched out in a mischievous smile. “It's me.”

Instantly, you grinned, mimicking his wide smile. “I was looking for you.”

“Well, I found you first,” he whispered, and leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle manner.

He had been your boyfriend since the second half of the first year in high school. You were now both seniors, ready to graduate and enter your chosen universities. You both chose the same one, the idea of not being able to see each other too ugly to risk going to different schools.

You felt Baekhyun's hands slide down your sides, reaching the hem of your short uniform skirt and his feather-like touch made you squirm and laugh right into his mouth. He followed suit with giggles. “It tickles,” you said, and looked into his smiley eyes.

He hummed, though didn't stop his wandering hand as he massaged the upper part of your thigh, the touch sending trembles down your legs, your heartbeat growing frantic. “But you like it. When I touch you there.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, growing red. “Yeah. But only when it's you.”

These final months in high school were those moments when boys were becoming very horny, the skirts of the uniforms girls had to wear driving some of them crazy. Baekhyun, thankfully, wasn't as affected, though you were thinking if it was because he already had access to you. You would tear his head off if he tried to touch another girl, but he just wasn't that type of a guy.

Same went for you, too. Baekhyun had a sharp gaze and if he saw a guy trying to lift your skirt up, he would just deal with them in his hapkido language, and nobody wanted that. Baekhyun was a literal martial arts superstar of the school. And also a terrible nerd. He was cool and nerdy. What a combo.

While that was him, the smiling, mischievous boy many girls grew a humongous crush on, you were the more unfortunate one, though many would immediately disagree. A daughter to a huge business company, money was something that was never an issue, to put it lightly. Having your own personal driver, needing to attend pilates classes to keep your form, visiting a dermatologist at least twice per month, eating small portions… everything that would scream rich, was basically you, as much as you hated it.

The reason for your hatred was simple: you didn't belong to Baekhyun's world. Likewise, he didn't belong to yours. But how would that define anything, when both of you were literally all over each other at any given opportunity, feelings too strong to fight them? Did social status really mean something? Baekhyun was studying hard to become a doctor, wanting to bring children to this world, and he had one of the best grade averages in the entire institution. Meanwhile, you, of whom it was highly expected of, didn't have it like him. Studying was not exactly your forte, and you ended up following your parents requirements of applying for business school, so that you would study something that was running in the family. As long as they did not intervene in your relationship with Baekhyun, you would accept and agree to anything. But Baekhyun was untouchable. No matter what would happen, it couldn't, by any means, include him and you always made sure about it.

“'Cause you are mine,” he murmured in your ear seductively, and you melted in his arms.

“That, I am. Always,” you replied breathily, standing on your tiptoes to crash your lips on his before anyone could catch you not spending the break outside of the building.

You just wanted to spend time with him before your family would whisk you away from him, like they always did. Rarely have you had the power to decide your free time, sitting at your father's meetings, mothers cocktails, boredly listening to conversations about money transactions that made you feel uneasy.

“Plans for tonight?” he asked as he gave your thigh a final squeeze before letting go, patting your skirt back down to its normal form.

You hummed, leaning back on the wall lazily, your chest pushed out. “Grandparents are coming over. From mother’s side,” you said, already tired at the idea of the dreadful encounter.

Baekhyun nodded, though you could sense he was a bit disappointed. He never said anything, though. It was safe to say he was used to the way things were working with your family. After all, it had been two years by now. Two years of your relationship. And with each passing moment, the both of you seemed to grow even fonder of each other. He never complained. He loved you.

“Sorry,” you sighed again, closing your eyes for a moment when you felt his palm on your cheek that forced you to open them again, his gaze gentle. He leaned in, nudging you with his nose.

“There is nothing to be sorry about, love.”

“Of course there is,” you replied passionately. “I really want to spend more time with you, Baekhyun.”

“You will. We will be together. Once university starts-”

“Can you understand that you consume my thoughts every second? And when I am not with you, the time just drags and it's like a small hell because I cannot see your face-”

Baekhyun kissed you, interrupting your small outburst. You moaned quietly, shyly, bringing him closer by his tie. He played with your lips, teasing you with his tongue, but he wouldn't go further than that. You were in school and as much as he was mischievous, he wouldn't go that far. “I love you,” he whispered.

You smiled brightly. “I love you, too.”

“And I will wait for you no matter how long it takes, okay? Don't feel sorry. I should study anyway,” he shrugged nonchalantly as if it really weren’t a big deal.

You smiled proudly while massaging his ear with your hand. “Always responsible, my prince.”

Just like you knew he would be, your driver was waiting for you, his face typically devoid of any emotions as you trudged to the school gates, ignoring the snickering gazes of students scattered around the entrance. Baekhyun was with you, hand in hand and just before you would reach the car, you stopped to kiss him goodbye. 

“Text me,” you demanded, looking into his eyes.

He nodded, and his long hair fell into his eyes. “I will.”

Not wanting to let go just yet, you took the opportunity and brushed his soft hair out of his eyes while he gently gazed into yours. 

“Promise me you won’t go against your parents,” he said suddenly, his voice quiet and hushed.

You focused on him, slowly retreating your hand from his hair. “What do you mean?” you asked, despite having a very good hunch. He knew your family very well, if not from what you have told him already, then from the experiences of when you would bring him home to study together and his parents would be cold and heartless, especially to you, not accepting your relationship with Baekhyun at all.

He sighed and looked somewhere else for a moment, letting the surroundings absorb in his mind before facing you. “I don’t want something happening to you. It just seems to me that the more you go against them, the more they will push you, mentally or physically. And I don’t want that.”

His worries made you feel warm. Someone actually cared for your well-being, unlike other people you were blood-related to. “I will be a good girl, hm?” you murmured, hearing your driver opening his door to get out, obviously impatient. “I will obey. For you.”

Baekhyun nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “That’s the talk. Now go, before Mr Lee loses his cool,” he said, stepping away from you and nudging his head towards your driver who already opened your car door, obviously urging you to hurry.

You pressed your lips together and waved at your boyfriend one more time before turning and sliding inside the car, the door shutting loudly behind you, voicing the driver's dissatisfaction with your attitude.

Even if you wanted to wave at Baekhyun, you knew he wouldn’t see you. The windows were completely black.

You were dressing up for the dreaded dinner when your mother entered your room. Without knocking, of course. She looked at your dress of dark-red colour combined with a cute black bow on your back. The A skirt was hugging your curves just the right way and the hem stopped in the middle of your thighs that were covered in black stockings. Stylish, you thought.

“Slutty,” was what she said, frowning, her forehead wrinkled into three layers of skin. “Change it.”

You looked at her from behind your shoulder, sending her a poker face before facing your mirror again. “I like it. I won’t change it.”

Your mother sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re ridiculous. Who are you dressing up for? Your lover boy isn’t coming tonight.”

“And whose fault is that?” you fired back, hating whenever they as much as mentioned him. He was too good to be pronounced in their mouths. “It ain’t mine, mother. So stop irking me!”

“Watch your tone,” she said in a low voice before sighing deeply and shaking her head. “Listen. Your grandfather and grandmother will be here soon, so change. You know they are very conservative.”

“I’m not even showing skin,” you muttered, frustrated.

“You’re still a high school student. You aren’t supposed to be looking like this.”

Swiftly turning around, you walked to her slowly. “I’m not supposed to be having a chest? A butt? I am still growing, you know. Out of all people, you should know.”

“You have those because you eat more than you should and thanks to your boyfriend you are more horny than it’s okay for someone your age which leads you to have a big appetite,” she deadpanned. “So cover yourself up. This is not a strip club.”

Your mouth fell open, complete disbelief widening your eyes. She must have not been serious. But you knew she was, so what was more annoying was the fact that you still got angry and you still fought back, despite knowing their preferences for years. You tried to ignore the sting in your chest when she talked about food and about the way your body naturally worked. You were a hormonal teenager. Why couldn’t she understand?

Quickly remembering the promise you made to Baekhyun, you collected yourself and, although in pain, you nodded. But before you could answer, your mother continued: “Besides. Given the nature of our get-together today, you do need to look more responsible.”

That made you frown in confusion. “What does that mean?”

She smiled, though it was rather smug than anything else. “You will find out soon enough.”

“Mum!”

“Change,” she commanded, something dark flashing in her eyes before she walked out of the room.

Annoying tears burned in your eyes, and you quickly grabbed your phone, wanting to complain to Baekhyun, but he beat you to it and you found messages from him sent only a couple of minutes ago that immediately pacified your wild emotions.

i’m thinking of you ❤️ always

even now

and even now

and now too

gorgeous 😘🥰

You smiled through your tears, the need of wanting to be with him growing by tenfold. He melted all the negative emotions you had in yourself and you sat down on your bed, your eyes scanning the texts, the emoticons, and then the picture you had for him. He was being silly on it, wearing your sunglasses and pretending to be a girl group member looking seductive.

With a final look, you nodded to yourself, determined to follow what you had promised. 

Changing into a white shirt politely tucked into a black pencil skirt with your hair strictly tied into a knot, you looked like any worker in your father's company; not standing out, conservative and a little bit numb.

Only one thing was eating you away as you made your way downstairs to the huge dining hall, your parents already  welcoming your grandparents whose eyes gave you a strict look over. 

The nature of this dinner. 

What could that be?

All of the dinners had something into it. Your parents never did anything just for the sake of doing it. If there wasn’t something profitable in the action, they would never bother. But what did they want from your grandparents?

“Oh, finally you decided to show up. What are these manners, letting your old folks wait for you, hm?” Your grandmother’s words sounded like crow’s wailing. Annoying, terribly annoying. 

“Excuse me. Had to dress up properly for your company,” you replied in a calm tone, not paying attention to her nagging. You walked up to them and bowed politely, respecting them.

Your grandma scoffed, frowning at you while your grandfather’s eyes crinkled up a bit in a small smile, though he didn’t say anything besides nodding once to acknowledge your polite greeting. 

“Let’s just sit, shall we?” your father voiced, motioning to the prepared dining table adorned in a cream table cloth. “Before the food gets cold.”

“Yes, yes, we have things to discuss anyway,” rasped your grandmother as she sat down.

Your father was at the head of the table while your mother and you sat on his right, your grandparents on the opposite site. You ended up facing your grandfather for which you were thankful. He was one of the less evil. In fact, he barely ever showed any interest in the happenings around the dirty business your family was involved in.

Now that you thought about it, you didn’t know about him and your evil grandma. You had been secluded from any warm interaction since young age, so you never even bothered asking how they met and how they fell in love. How did grandfather even deal with someone like her was beyond your understanding.

Once your mother started talking in her superior tone, you concluded that your grandfather still managed to raise up someone like your mother. He probably wasn’t any better than the rest of the family.

“We have been in close contact with the rival company,” she started and you suppressed the need to roll your eyes.

Servants put all the food in front of you; seaweed soup, lots of side dishes, meat, fish, rice, rice cakes and corn tea. You usually liked the food but given you had to listen to another business talk, you lost your appetite.

“Their son is already in his thirties, so they requested the marriage as soon as our daughter is out of high school.”

You jumped in your seat, knocking your knee in the table rather painfully. You didn’t have time to curse and look at your mother, who continued talking as if nothing was happening: “Obviously we need to finish this deal before any more losses could happen to our business. Their company is overflowing with profit-“

“What are you talking about?” you snapped, not watching your tone that came out rude.

Your father frowned. “Your attitude is honestly disappointing. How can you talk to your mother in that to-“

“I am not getting married to anyone!” you shouted, growing hot-headed, your knee throbbing in pain. “I-I have a university to attend soon! How can I marry before getting a degree?! And I have a boyfriend-“

Your mother laughed drily. “How on earth can you even consider that boy?” she said, looking at you with utmost calmness. “He is just a middle-class boy.”

Your grandmother and father joined her in chuckles. “Don’t be silly,” said your grandmother. “It’s just a high school crush. It’s always about experimenting and not understanding what love is. Silly teenager stuff.”

“What do you know about love?” you asked doubtfully, turning to your grandmother with a death glare to which she returned it back.

“How dare you question your elders?! Calm down this instant and listen!”

If it were possible, fumes would be coming out of your nose and ears. You couldn’t believe what you just heard was true. It couldn’t be. You wouldn’t allow it.

“Besides,” started your father in a scolding manner, “you are not good at studies. We agreed to let you attend the university you chose, but your studies will be fruitless since you didn’t study as you were told to. You aren’t a man either,” he scoffed and gave a side eye to your mother who now froze. “But that isn’t your fault that you weren’t born a man. That’s someone else’s.”

Completely at loss for words, you fell back in your chair, devastated at what you just heard. Not only he degraded you, but he now attacked your mother.

In a sudden need to defend your mother as a woman rather than as your parent, you snapped: “It’s the amount of sperm that a man manages to put into a woman that decides the gender. If it’s anyone’s fault that I am a girl, it’s yours!”

Everyone went silent at what you just said, your father so shocked his mouth hung open. He blinked a few times, regaining his posture but you were already standing up. “I am not marrying anyone! I already have a boy-“

“So you do all the dirty stuff with this boyfriend of yours and that’s why your mouth is so nasty!” came your father’s voice like a thunder.

“She needs to break up with him. He is no good influence on her,” butted in your grandmother nonchalantly as she slurped her seaweed soup.

You snapped your eyes to her, and to your grandfather who was frowning down at his empty plate.

“I won’t break up with Baekhyun.”

“Then keep your delusions up. But once you're out of high school, the ceremony will take place,” said your mother resolutely, sending daggers your way. 

“I don’t want to do anything with your business,” you now said in despair. “I don’t want to own your company!”

Your father snickered drily in disgust. “You won’t own our company, daughter. You’re useless as it is, so we are going to merge the companies. That’s the only way we can save our hard work.”

You shook your hair. “No, I refuse!”

“You don’t have a choice,” shrugged your mother now turning back to her plate. “You can do whatever you want, but your fate is in our hands. That’s why,” she emphasized and looked at you, “for your own good, break up with your boyfriend. He is no good news. Save yourself the heartbreak. He is with you for the money anyway.”

You stood frozen, keeping the gasp in. Tears were spilling out of your eyes and you turned around, running back to your room, sobs leaving your mouth.

You always knew your family was a nightmare - cold, scary, emotionless. But this was too much for your young self.

All you wanted was warmth, safety and honest emotions.

All of those were what Baekhyun offered you.

He was more than just a boyfriend.

He was love.

That night, you didn't call Baekhyun, instead deciding to text him back to let him know that everything went fine. He was studying anyway, and if you wanted something, it was for him to become successful in a field that he was passionate about. Unlike you, who barely had any hobbies, let alone passions.

Finally crying yourself to sleep around 3am, your alarm went off too early in the morning, a strong headache first thing you felt as you turned off the blaring thing.

Sighing, you fell back on the comfortable pillows, their lavender smell engulfing your senses and momentarily offering a calming pat on your headache. Closing your eyes, you felt your eyes well up again, the idea of having to break up with Baekhyun just not adding up in your mind. How could you do that? Why would you deprive yourself of the only source of light you had in your life? For someone you never even met. Someone who seemed to be much, much older than you.

“I'm not doing it,” you whispered into the stillness of your room, your voice hoarse. Tears slid out of your eyes and down your sides until they tickled your ears. “I'm not.”

And with that, you faced your day; you washed up, put on your uniform, packed the necessary books and headed out, not saying your morning greetings, nor eating breakfast. Ignoring your surroundings, you went out not even waiting for your driver. You decided you will take the mundane route to school that day: bus and metro like Baekhyun did everyday.

“Hey, are you okay?” Someone’s fingers appeared in the line of your vision. Fingers all too familiar.

You looked up to see a worried Baekhyun, his shirt untucked and his tie loosen-up around his neck giving him the typical goofy, laid-back look that lived up very well to his personality. You managed to smile. “Yeah, just tired. Didn’t get to sleep much.”

“And why is that?” he asked, taking the closest seat to yours, looking around to check if the owner of the seat wasn’t there. When you pursed your lips, debating what to say, he added gently: “What is bothering you, hm? You know you can tell me.”

Releasing probably the nth sigh of that day, you closed your eyes for a moment before looking at him. “Let’s talk after school maybe. It’s not something to discuss here.”

Baekhyun nodded but you saw the rapid thinking his mind drifted off to. He could sense trouble, especially with your family. “Alright, let’s do that. But your driver-“

“He didn’t drive me to school, so he won’t be driving me from school,” you said in a monotone and Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at that.

“How did you come to school?”

You shrugged. “Like you do everyday. Public transport.”

Slowly, his mouth stretched to a soft, lopsided smile, his hand reaching out to caress your cheek with the back of his fingers. “Enjoyed it?”

You mimicked his smile, his touch easing up the tension you couldn’t get rid of since last night. “Yeah, thoroughly. Only you were missing. Then it would be perfect.” 

His smile only grew and you turned your head slightly, kissing his hand before he retracted it, keeping the eye contact while he kissed the same spot your lips touched on his hand.

You watched in small awe and you giggled when he added a louder smooch. “You’re unbelievable.”

He let out a laugh, standing up when the bell rang. “But you love me.” He squeezed your shoulder.

“That I do.”

After that, you couldn’t focus any more in any of the classes. Once again it was proved that you wouldn’t be able to even imagine your life without Baekhyun next to you. Yes, the idea of marriage was scary but you’d marry him. In an instant.

Finally coming up with a way to make something out for yourself and of that damn deal your parents made, you slipped out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang announcing the end of your last class of that day. Quickly pulling out your phone, you hid in the toilets and dialed your mother's phone who lazily picked up after countless attempts.

“What.”

So you were still in a war zone. “If I am to get married,” you started without further ado, “he can not touch me. And I won’t be breaking up with Baekhyun.”

It was silent for a moment before your mother let out a laugh. “Oh, honey. We do want you to finish university first before anything else will happen.”

She didn’t add anything more which confused you. “Okay, either way, I won’t be breaking up with Baekhyun.”

“Do whatever you deem correct. Though I bet he won’t like you getting married to someone else? Didn’t you always say how loyal he was?”

You grit your teeth. “Why do you suddenly care about his loyalty?” you hissed, pacing in the small toilet space. “That isn’t your business. You will always get what you want and I already said I will comply but on my terms.”

“Your terms are cheating on your husband? Or on your boyfriend? I really don’t know where this attitude comes from in you. Neither me nor your father are like that-“

Before she could finish, you burst out laughing. “What? You aren’t like that? Don’t be delusional, mother. You’re trying to marry me off for your own profit!” you exclaimed, raising your voice. “The only thing I am asking - no, I am going to do it whether you like it or not. I will be with Baekhyun. I’ll be with him until he breaks up with me.” Because there was no way you would do it.

Your mother was silent for a moment and then she sighed. “Do as you want. As long as you sign the papers…” she trailed off. “I have a meeting now. Let’s discuss once we are home.” And she ended the call.

You realized you were trembling only when you finally let your hand dangle next to your body, already tired from the fights. 

At least she didn’t say anything against the idea.

You took it as a positive sign.

You didn’t go home that night. Baekhyun suggested to sleep over at his house and you gladly agreed. It wouldn't be the first and certainly not the last time. His parents knew you well and you always felt their warm welcome whenever Baekhyun brought you home with him. His mother was a great cook and whenever you saw her, you were reminded of Baekhyun's kind smile.

“Are you staying for the night?” asked his mother with a laugh when you greeted her with a polite bow.

You smiled shyly, nodding and looking up at Baekhyun who was gazing down at you encouragingly. “Yes, if that is okay, auntie.”

“Of course! It's Friday night anyway. My son just keeps studying and not living his young life properly so please, be our guest.”

“Thank you,” you smiled and she said she would prepare a late dinner for you while you and Baehyun went to his room to change into something more comfortable.

“Could you borrow me some of your clothes?” you asked once in his room as you were working on unbuttoning your uniform's shirt and watched shirtless Baekhyun roam in his drawer for your favourite shirt of his.

“Here you go,” he said, coming up to you with the shirt and joggers, but instead of handing them to you, he just put them on the bed and mumbled a soft: “Let me.”

His fingers took over the unbuttoning process, and you closed your eyes at the feathery touch of his hands as he uncovered more skin. When he was reaching your stomach, he paused and you cracked your eyes open, finding him gazing at you intently before his eyes fell to the middle of your breasts that were exposed. He unbuttoned the last two buttons swiftly and then pushed his hands inside the shirt, dragging his fingertips over your hips and waist, tapping each bone of your ribcage until he slid his hands up to your shoulders, sliding the material off. “You want to keep your bra?” he asked, almost as if he wasn't breathing loudly, mimicking your rapidly rising and falling chest.

Shaking your head gently, you mumbled a soft no before he nodded in acknowledgement and with one hand unclasped the bra. He stepped even closer, your nose almost touching his broad and very naked chest. You felt his breath on your cheek as he whispered, pulling on the straps of your bra: “May I?”

Swallowing harshly, you nodded and looked up at him to find his fiery gaze intently set on you. When he pushed the straps off your shoulders and your bra fell to the floor, you shivered at the cool air hitting the hot skin as Baekhyun's fingers were back again, dragging them from your back through your underarms until he reached the sides of your breasts. His breathing was irregular, hot puffs hitting your face while you whimpered softly, egging him on to finally grab you.

“You're so beautiful,” he whispered shakily and you let out a loud sigh when he finally took a hold of your mounds, squeezing them gently in his palms.

You brought your arms around his neck, stretching the skin on your chest and you kissed him hungrily, the heat in your core growing almost painful for not being satisfied as you so badly wished you would be.

Baekhyun pushed his tongue into your mouth, going for a dirty kiss right away as he gave a final, stronger squeeze to your breasts before letting them go, bringing his hands down to your backside, bunching up your skirt in lust. He let out a satisfied moan when he grabbed the meat, his finger momentarily sliding inside and between your thighs. You were fast to break the kiss, needing air and also needing to whine because you needed him so badly.

His naked torso pressed now to yours, his hands cheekily teasing you and grabbing you, he was all about games.

“Baekhyun, the food is ready! Come quickly before it gets cold!” shouted his mother down the hallway, thankfully not coming to Baekhyun's room. You froze in his arms nonetheless to which he chuckled.

“Relax,” he murmured, pressing his face into your neck. “She knows not to disturb when my door is closed and you are with me.”

Letting out a breathy laugh, you let go of him just when he did.

“Once we are back,” he said, helping you put on his big t-shirt. “I will take care of that wetness down there. Seems pretty severe.”

You quirked an eyebrow, looking at the tent that was asking for attention over his joggers. “You sound so unaffected.”

He looked down just where your eyes were set and chuckled as if it was nothing. “Oh, sweetie, it's always like this when I'm with you. I just can't help it,” he said and leaned in, biting your earlobe. “You bring out the man in me.”

Everything was a long lost dream and you should have known it. Things you imagined and desired were not what the reality had in store for you, and it just made it more difficult for you to face Baekhyun. Even when you went on the last high school trip where you had the biggest fun, made the most exciting memories, sneaking behind the group to steal a small kiss, even all of that was not able to lighten up your damp mood. Somehow, it was possible for you to fake it, but you would have been dumb if you ever thought Baekhyun believed your words or smiles. He could sense trouble from miles and given the nature of your family, he was always well-aware of how many troubles could grow overnight in your household. He just wouldn't know the severity of the problem. And you weren't planning to tell him, just like you promised yourself and your mother, not until Baekhyun would break up with you.

And right now, it was your graduation day.

The D-day had come when you would have to say goodbye to all your friends, even the fake ones, and you would be a little closer to losing Baekhyun. Except you wouldn't know it would happen that fast.

“Congratulations!” squealed Baekhyun's mother who was fast to hug Baekhyun and you both at the same time, squeezing you to her chest. Your face was pushed into the colourful bouquet of flowers that smelled wonderfully - but from a distance. You tried to  squeeze your eyes shut but you just looked down, catching Baekhyun's worn-out converse sneakers.

Baekhyun snorted a laugh when he saw your face in the freezias, and gently pushed you away from his mother to protect you. As you straightened up, you managed to scrunch your face just in time to sneeze.

“Oh dear, I'm so sorry,” giggled Baekhyun's mother and even his father chuckled from behind her which made your heart warm up.

“It's alright, auntie,” you waved your hand, feeling your eyes watering up but you laughed nonetheless because - how could you ever be mad at such a sweet woman who was the only person on Earth to have the right to call Baekhyun hers? As much as you wished, you were nowhere near close to have the right for him to be yours. And maybe you would never be. “Looking at you, I wonder how was my son able to sweep you off of your feet! You're so beautiful!”

You smiled shyly and felt Baekhyun's soft gaze on you, ready to reach out for your hand before his mother pushed the bouquet into his arms. “This is for you, son, and this is for you, my dear,” she said, giving you one as well.

Just when you were about to thank her politely and bow, your mother's cold voice interrupted the merry atmosphere, your happy smile dying down as you turned to face her, your father and a- stranger? A man, to be exact.

“Here you are,” she said, sending a cold smile towards Baekhyun's parents, ignoring your boyfriend altogether. She stepped closer so she wouldn't be overheard, and muttered: “I guess your wishes will come true soon.” She leaned back and you followed her with your eyes as she stepped aside. “Mr Kwon, please meet my daughter,” she introduced you before continuing, “and this is Mr Kwon Minheob, your fiancée. Greet him properly!” she ordered but you didn't even process what she said.

Standing frozen, your arms were about to let go of the bouquet you just received were it not for Baekhyun who was fast enough to get the flowers out of your grasp. “Oh, that's great news! I'll take these for you!” he exclaimed with a smile and you looked at him with pure horror in your eyes. “Congrats by the way! I will miss you as my classmate!” he added and quickly bowed to your parents. “I'll see you around someday!” And with that, he turned and left.

In that instance, many things were swirling around in your brain - complete, utter shock, overwhelm, fear, heartbreak. What did Baekhyun just do? Why did he say that? And where was he going-

“Nice to meet you,” said the older male with a deep voice. You turned your stare back at him, hearing your heart beating in your ears. “What a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard a lot about you and your studies. It is so nice of you to lower yourself and your status and attend a regular high school with ordinary people. I believe we will have a lot in common.” He finally uncrossed his hands from behind his back and you found a pastel pink bag dangling off of his somewhat thick fingers. “And this is my congratulatory present for you. Congratulations on graduating high school.”

Once again, you just stared at the bag, unable to make your own hand move and accept the gift with a polite bow like you were expected to. The only thing ringing in your mind was Baekhyun and him only. He found out much sooner than he was supposed to and you hated yourself because he was most probably hating you right now. What was worse - his parents were there, too. They all saw it when it all seemed like you were just about to stay with their son forever. Yet, your family, as always, ruined it all and you weren't sure if you would recover.

Looking up to the tall, grown man, it didn't take you a lot to know he was far from anyone you could have feelings for, ever. The words he just spoke, the malice he said them with, was everything you were standing for. Obviously, he was no one you could have things in common with.

Your father stepped next to you and, painfully, pinched your side, making you gasp and automatically reach out for the gift with a low bow. His fingers were squeezing your skin through your dress and it rushed tears in your eyes, but you blinked them away while accepting the gift and staring at the polished shoes of Kwon Minheob.

“Nice to meet you,” you mumbled, straightening up. The gift bag felt heavy in your hand but you tried not to pay too much attention to it. Eventually, your father also removed his hand from your back and he gave you a pressed smile, though you didn't look at him. “Congratulations, our daughter. Now we can go all to our house and have a good di-”

“I'm sorry, but I still have, eh, friends to greet and meet,” you said, “we also all agreed to have our last meal together as a class,” you added, looking up to meet your father's eyes. You weren't lying; the entire class wanted to meet and have chicken and beer. Preferably spend the time loudly somewhere in a good restaurant.

He shot you a dissatisfied scowl, but you held his gaze. “Until when? You won't be meeting them anyway, why waste time?”

“Exactly,” pressed your mother and smiled brightly at Mr Kwon, who kept observing you with quite an unreadable expression. “And we have Mr Kwon to entertain.”

Quite literally you thought you would start wailing right then and there; everyone was going against you, nobody seeming to listen to your words. Just when you felt tears prickle your eyes, Mr Kwon spoke up and surprised all of you.

“That is not necessary,” he declared, giving a curt smile towards your parents, “she is still young and should enjoy her classmates one last time. I suppose it will be difficult to do it once they all go their own way,” he said in a diplomatic voice, looking at you the entire time. It took a lot in you not to flinch and shudder under his gaze. “So go and enjoy, miss, and I will meet you soon to have a more private conversation with you.” You nodded quickly, though blood was already draining from your face at the idea of what he suggested. Mr Kwon turned to your parents. “I will leave you to entertain your daughter and I will reach out soon.”

Before anyone else could say another word, he gave a short bow and disappeared in the mass of people.

“You do realize-” your mother started, but you were fast to push the bag into her chest, not caring whether she caught it or not, and dashing for the direction that Baekhyun disappeared into.

Of course you were aware how much you would get scolded once you actually faced your parents, but right now you couldn't care less. It was better to get scolded, but losing Baekhyun or even making him hurt just the tiniest of bits made you resent yourself.

And so you pushed past crowds, stopping to say hi, keeping an eye out for any coconut head out there with a family that shone brighter than yours would ever shine. Just when you were about to lose it and start straight up crying in the middle of the crowd, you felt a hand intertwining with yours and you just knew. He didn't turn you around, but you felt his body behind yours and it was you who turned, facing him with a scared expression. 

“Baekhyun,” you whimpered. Seeing his kind smile made you want to slap him because why was he like that after what he heard?

“Hm? Want to tell me about it now?” he asked gently and combed your hair out of your face, his smile growing by an inch. “Pretty.”

You took a deep breath, shakiness overtaking your legs from unwanted pressure. “It isn't what you think it is.”

“Then what is it?”

“I don't want to marry him,” you said and this time, your tears rapidly grew in your eyes and were rolling down your cheeks. “I-I-I never… I mean, not yet. I did-didn't know he would come, I never saw him before and-”

“Shhh, calm down,” he hushed, bringing your face to his chest, hugging you to himself. “Let's talk about it another time.”

“No,” you said, hiccuping, “I am not losing you, Baekhyun.”

“You aren't.” “I'm not losing you,” you repeated, closing your eyes and pressing your face more into him, taking a deep breath of his scent, feeling up his warmth and presence. “I'm not losing you.”

He called your name gently. “It's fine. Don't cry, hm? You know I can't stand seeing you cry. I am not mad and I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered urgently into your ear.

“I just hate my family so much,” you mumbled into his chest. Baekhyun's shirt must have been stained by make-up by then, but neither of you cared. “And I don't want their terrible attitude to damage you.”

“It won't damage me. You are important to me, you. Look at me, hm? Look at me, darling.”

You sniffed and stepped away a little, tilting your head so you could see his kind eyes. He cooed, reaching up to run his thumbs under your eyes. “My little raccoon. Let's enjoy today, alright? Just us. And our classmates,” he added with a little laugh.

You smiled weakly, nodding. Anything Baekhyun wanted, he would get from you.

Your entire class hoarded into a chicken restaurant in Hongdae, the loud cheers and chatterings making many people turn in interest to look at you. You sat down around your girlfriends while you let, though reluctantly, Baekhyun join his pals. Even though you would exchange reassuring looks here and there, you still felt incredibly anxious about the incident earlier. In fact, you were so swallowed up by the idea of losing Baekhyun that you didn't  even think about the actual fiancée, Mr Kwon.

But instead of focusing on that, you decided to enjoy tonight, for you knew events like these won't be coming up for you anytime soon. If anything, your freedom was close to gone.

“I am going to start my own clothing brand,” started one of your classmates that was sitting next to you, munching on her piece of chicken meat. She went on spilling many details that didn't add up in your brain, though you listened carefully to every word she said.

“You don't have your degree yet,” you replied eventually and took a gulp of your coke.

“Funny, coming from someone like you,” she snickered, “you can decide you want to own an island and you will.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes but your classmate just shrugged.

“I can assure you she won't,” came in Baekhyun's voice. “I know it pretty well, since I'm her boyfriend.”

The girls exchanged looks. They all had a secret crush on him, so his words made them a little embarrassed. “Would you even marry her?” they teased.

“I would. In a heartbeat,” was his answer and you looked at him with huge eyes, your mouth that was slightly oily from the chicken hanging open, your heart frantically beating in your chest.

The entire table hollored and whistled, and you caught your boyfriend smiling proudly at you, eventually sending a confident wink. He tapped his mouth with his index finger and then pointed at you. You felt your lips stretch instantly, because you knew he meant “close your mouth”.

“Whew, you really are lucky,” muttered the girl next to you, changing the topic completely.

His hand was intertwined with yours once again as you were slowly walking along the Han river. Ttukseom Han river park was, as always, busy with young people. It gave a great view on Gangnam and Cheongdam that were lying on the opposite side, the city lights of the tall buildings reminding you how life revolved around money and basically anything that smelled even the slightest of capitalism. You found yourself despising all of it.

“Cat stole your tongue?” muttered Baekhyun playfully into the chilly air as he swayed your connected hands.

“Just… thinking,” you replied and made sure your sides were brushing.

He didn't reply, instead letting silence overtake again, but you knew he was curious. He wanted to, and deserved, to know.

“Did you mean it?” you asked, looking at the dark water.

“Did I mean what?”

“That you would marry me in a heartbeat,” you said softly, scared to actually pronounce those words. They sounded so unnatural, for some reason, despite them mirroring everything you ever wanted in life. “What you said during dinner.”

“Yes, I meant it and you know it, too, sweetheart,” he said, shaking your hand.

You smiled to yourself. If you wouldn't spill the beans now, you would probably never find the guts to talk about the main issue that was simmering like the water in a pressure cooker. “My parents want me to marry that man for business. Something along merging their companies or whatever,” you started. “I found out a while ago but I was fighting them. And then you made me promise to obey,” you sighed, feeling the well-known dread eating up your insides, “and I had to agree. But I don't want to.”

“So that's why you weren't yourself,” he muttered more to himself than to you, and he stopped walking so he could look at you properly. When you wouldn't meet his eye, too ashamed, he put his index finger under your chin and made you tilt your head up. “Why didn't you just tell me from the beginning?”

“Baekhyun,” you whispered in disbelief, “how could I? It isn't some news about apples growing backwards.”

He chuckled. “Well, you have to admit, that would make the headlines.”

You giggled, rolling your eyes. “You know what I mean.”

He let out another chuckle through his nose and slid his hand up so he could cup your cheek lovingly while thinking over his next words. “When are you supposed to marry him?”

You swallowed. “Maybe after uni? I … I never wanted to talk to them, so I don't know exactly… I insisted after university graduation.”

He hummed, running his thumb over your lower lip, his gaze focused on the way he parted your lips. “So, we have four more years?”

You pursed your lips, not liking the idea of having limited time with Baekhyun. “Of course not. I will always be with you.”

He sighed, and eventually dropped his hand on your shoulder; you tried not to feel disappointed. “I think this is more complicated than you think, love.”

“How is it complicated, Baekhyun?” you asked stubbornly. “I love you. I saw that man today for the first time in my life. How can I marry someone I don't know and barely ever saw? He is almost twice my age, Baekhyun. You know this is not okay and you also know it doesn't make any sense.”

“And you know business is anything but emotions,” was his fast reply.

“I don't care about their business.”

“And they don't care that you don't care.”

“Bu-but I just don't care! I will be with you behind his back and-”

“And how would that make me feel?” he fired back, now both of you slowly getting heated up from the small exchange of opinions. Baekhyun just asked something you never wanted him to utter. If you were to talk about him, of course, he was the victim. He'd become a secret lover; the forbidden fruit.

When you didn't reply, he nodded, his hand falling off your shoulder. “I understand.”

“Baekhyun, let's talk about this step by step,” you tried, reaching for his hand which he, thankfully, didn't retreat. “We still have a long time until any of those things could even happen. Maybe it won't happen - and I will try my best not to let it happen. But let it not affect our present. Please,” you added with urgency, looking into his warm eyes.

When Baekhyun was troubled or sad, his eyes seemed to become even more down-ward than they already were. This time, it was no exception and you wanted to reach out and make the wrinkles go away but you didn't. “Let me just think this matter through, alright?” he murmured eventually.

You pressed your lips together and nodded while you stepped close to him, snaking your arms around his waist. He gladly took you in, letting out a deep sigh as he hugged you to him and kissed the top of your head. “It will be okay.”

“May I sleep at yours tonight?” you mumbled into his shoulder after a moment of silence. “I just cannot imagine going back to that hell.”

He rubbed your back gently. “Of course. My mum is already expecting us. We shouldn't disappoint her.”

You leaned back a bit and stood on your toes to press your lips to his. “You're the best.”

And so, after walking a little bit longer and enjoying the faraway noise of the busy roads and nightlife Seoul, you slowly made your way back to the metro station, heading for Baekhyun's house, and your safety.

The both of you were lying on his bed, his parents long asleep, the quietness of the apartment giving you a sense of safeness. Baekhyun had a book open on his lap while you were doodling something you weren’t sure what was yet. Manual work seemed to preoccupy your mind enough and sadly, even with Baekhyun next to you, you couldn’t find your peace of mind. 

“Aren’t you tired yet?” whispered Baekhyun and looked at you, and on the paper to see what you were so focused on. “It’s already 1am. Your parents will want you home early-“

Your sigh interrupted him and you put down the pencil rather harshly as you sat up properly to face him. “Since when do you care about them? You know I will go home whenever I want to. I don’t care, so you shouldn’t either.”

“I don’t want you to get into trouble, okay?” he said back, his voice quiet but low. “There has been enough drama.”

“What worse can happen? They want me to let go of you. That is the worst punishment for me.”

Baekhyun’s gaze softened and he also sat up properly to face you. “I know. I can’t lose you either. And I wasn’t intending on that. I meant that they might lock you up and then I won’t be able to see you so soon, hm?” he murmured gently, his lips puckering with each word as he reached out with his hand to caress your cheek. You leaned into his touch right away. “I want to enjoy what we have now.”

You smiled gently when you recognized your previously uttered words and grabbed his hand that was cradling your cheek. “You know I would sneak out just to meet you if I were to be locked up.”

He rewarded you with a lopsided, handsome smile. “You shouldn’t, you little devil.”

You sighed and shimmied yourself closer until your knees were touching his. “Kiss me,” you whispered breathily, already eyeing his lips.

He observed you a little longer before his eyes dropped on yours. Softly smiling, he leaned in, now both of his hands on your neck to angle your face. The softest of touches was what you felt first before he pressed his lips harsher, moving his mouth against yours. Your hands snaked around his neck to urge him on while he opened your mouth and invited himself in. Without meaning to, you let out a satisfied hum that seemed to ignite Baekhyun because he pressed harder, slowly making you fall back on your back, head on the pillows.

He grunted as you spread your legs so he could settle himself there as your kiss grew dirtier, all tongues and teeth, battling for dominance. Your fingers were messing up his hair while his hands were touching you over the fabric of his pyjamas.

It was your whines and a couple of pulls on the hem of his shirt that made Baekhyun lean back so that you could undress in haste, both of you eager and very much horny. Finally feeling the hot skin of his chest press up against yours he was too eager and he already lined himself up at your center, needing the release without any foreplay.

“Just keep quiet, alright?” he reminded softly into your ear under which he placed the softest kiss before he started pushing in, your mouth falling open, but your juices doing a good enough job for his easy access.

You gasped rather loudly and he silenced you with a messy kiss, interrupting it with harsh pants on your mouth as his eyes were closed in focus, his forehead pressed against yours. You panted and tilted your head to chase his parted lips while he pushed himself in all the way, reaching the stillness that you very much needed.

Unable to take the pain, your eyes were squeezed shut, scratching Baekhyun’s back while the other hand fisted his blanket. 

“Just a little longer,” Baekhyun whispered urgently, lips against your forehead, repeatedly puckering them in tiny butterfly  kisses. “The pain will be all gone, I promise. I’ll make you feel like no one on this planet.” He moved the slightest bit, the friction making him hide his face in your neck and mouth at the skin.

Your heaving chest was pressing up against his and with his next movement, you felt the tingles of pleasure that he promised you just heartbeats ago. Giving Baekhyun the sign to move, he started rocking, already setting up a faster pace for he couldn’t wait any longer. Your influence on him was too strong, his emotions for you too overwhelming. In his eyes, you were so sexy, beautiful, sensitive, and absolutely alluring. It would be brutal if he had to hold back while having you underneath him.

Who did he try to lie to? He went absolutely crazy at the idea of him having to leave you for another man; some old dude who didn’t even know you. It might have been the reason why he grew relentless, pushing you into his mattress and snapping his hips, your face of pure ecstasy only fueling his passionate drive. He hated the entire situation. He didn’t want to share you. He never wanted to have a secret relationship with you. If he imagined a future, besides him becoming a doctor, it was your presence next to his the entire time.

Baekhyun was never one to be aggressive and stubbornly go against every rule, unlike you. In your relationship, he was the cold-headed one, the peace-maker, always fighting for what the brain said instead of the heart.

But right now, his heart was in despair, already feeling the beginning of a heart break. He thrusted into you with such passion you really couldn't contain your moans and he wasn’t sure he wanted you to keep quiet anymore. Let everyone know that you belonged to him.

He bit your skin just under your collarbones, tasting the sweat, and you gasped, fisting his hair which prompted him to grunt and reach your g-spot.

“Cum for me,” he whispered harshly, biting you again and then moving his face to push his tongue into your open mouth. “Cum for me and say my name.”

He didn’t have to tell you as you were already panting his name like a mantra that would bring you to heaven. Your walls were pleasurably stretched out, the throaty sounds he made bringing you over the edge. He followed soon after your breathy moans and your arching back that caused your breasts to press to his sweaty chest made him lose it.

His arms snaked in the space between your back and the mattress and he squeezed your body to him, hiding his face in your breasts that he mouthed and licked at sensually while feeling himself release.

With one last bite to your sensitive nipple, he moved to kiss you, your tired smile welcoming him. “I love you.”

You combed his hair away from his damp forehead. “I love you more.” But please don't leave me.

--

CuriousCat Ask box is also open! Or comments!💕

[wsl-chelsea]

You have piqued my interest with the communist talk. From your knowledge I’m guessing you either really like history or you do like history elective (modern history student?).

My friend and I talk about this stuff all the time and since my family immigrated to aus to escape communism I’ve semi educated myself on it. I agree true communism has never been executed because it has always been spearheaded by dictators and whilst I don’t think they were necessarily fascists they were definitely authoritarian if not totalitarian. But even Vladimir Lenin himself said communism cannot work without elements of capitalism

However even though capitalism is highly flawed so is every other form of economy/society and comparatively it’s the least flawed. But I’m open to people arguing that with me cause I admit my family is quite well off and capitalism does help with that lmao

LMAO nah i do really enjoy history but im dropping it next year and doing global politics instead

thats really interesting, i do like hearing the perspectives of people who have escaped communism or have family that have. i think fascism may have been the wrong choice of words; totalitarianism and authoritarianism are much better. ill have to read into what lenin said, is there anywhere you can point me to?

for me i cant see capitalism being the least flawed. i dont understand how a good economic system essentially enforces the idea that people's lives aren't valuable unless they work and not only allows but encourages unethical actions against the working class and the environment in order to make a profit. the goal in capitalism is to make maximum profit, but making maximum profit will always involve the exploitation of workers, turning basic needs into a commodity and/or damaging the environment in the process. theres got to be something better and thats why i believe it could be communism

[lukesperfectharmonyhair]

im rewatching jatp instead of studying for the 3 tests i have tomorrow and i thought i would share my thoughts and reactions with each episode so enjoy!!....

wake up

- hearing the “1, 2, 3″ at the start of the episode gives me more serotonin than my antidepressants ever will

- julie’s slippers...that’s it...that’s the thought

- that dry ass pasta the molina’s are eating for dinner??? someone needs to give my man ray some cooking tips or a cookbook... something

-the looks the boys give julie when she says it was an OLD cd she found. as if they could be old??

-the entire julie and luke kitchen scene i mean there are no words to describe how much i am in love with scene. the banter, the flirting, luke giving this girl he literally just met an actual PIECE OF HIS SOUL so she can get music back into her life. not a single time have i watched that scene and not felt my heart literally grow cause of how cute they are. 

-the entire scene when julie is singing wake up. that scene is what made me literally CRAVE watching the other episodes. like of course i was going to watch them cause i wasn’t gonna just stop watching a show after one episode, and yes the show was good already but seeing the lighting and her voice, and just everything about the scene,,,,*chef’s kiss* 

bright

-flynn drinking seven sodas....SEVEN??? i would be throwing up if i drank more than like 2 and she drank seven,,,no ma’am.

- flynn and her trumpet. talented queen

- “ i wouldn’t have given you the song if i didnt think you were gonna rock it.” lmaooo im crying:)

- i start tearing up every time julie goes to play the first notes of bright,,, and then i’m full on bawling when the guys come in and play with her cause...they weren’t playing to be seen they were playing to be there for her and play to comfort her. pls i love them<3

- nick vibing in the front row

- the tech guy deserves so much more praise

flying solo

- reggie’s little butt shake or whatever you wanna call it!!

- julie’s little laugh when she yells at the guys to stop it

- “and we’re on the runway again” GENUINELY one of my favorite lines of the whole show pls i love luke’s humor

-this is the first time i noticed this but reggie’s face after alex says “DONT TELL ME HOW TO GHOST!”

-WILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU<3333333

-the slow mo helmet take off,,,,me too alex me too

-willie’s little giggles:))))

- “oh-oh!”

- “no clue” alex i love you baby<3

- next season better give us a scene of flynn throwing eggs at someone’s house because i think it’s safe to say we were robbed of that experience. 

- the flying solo performance is just amazing

i got the music

- just the whole opening scene is so cute ....the dancing, singing, happiness RADIATING from julie 

-nick in an all white suit and fedora

-WILLEX MUSEUM DATE YEAH BABYYYYY

- carefree skateboarder bf and anxiety ridden drummer bf

- yelling. in. museums. 

-alex thinking he’s literally dying again because of the salt... zero braincells in this band.

- another scene we were robbed of that i need to see in season 2...reggie singing “home is where my horse is” while alex and julie sit patiently and attentively listen to him but luke looks like he’s about to commit murder

- i get SO MUCH second hand embarrassment for julie when she looks through luke’s songbook and says “ wow luke I didn’t know you were such a romantic” julie baby i love you but...eekkkkk

- “he looks like a substitute teacher”- where did he come up with that like so many other things he could be compared to but a substitute teacher??

- “luke introduced you to rock” heck yeah it did.. literal soulmates

- would like to see a picture of the raccoon in Flynn’s backyard

- wee woo wee woo police sirens://///

- julie’s outfit ughhhh i love it

- the poster that im pretty sure says “sexiest role” behind caleb... why was that necessary 

the other side of hollywood

- THE ENTIRE PERFORMANCE OF THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD 

- i lose my absolute shit over this song omg literal chills

- the cape grab i cannot physically do this rn

- willie being so excited the entire performance and looking over to see alex’s reaction

- reggie being in awe everytime one of the girls performing does something.. me too reggie

-”well i wouldn't really call it mAAgiCcCC bUT”

- nick and his fedora again

- alex has a crush, alex has a crush on.....WILLIE

-the boys eating food for the first time in 25 years is honestly so realistic

-alex shoving a whole slice of pizza in his mouth

- lukes ‘OH MY GODDDDD’

- reggie kissing his meatball sub that looks painfully dry but also delicious 

- the continuation of the other side of hollywood performance and everyone dancing

-reggie imitating caleb’s evil laugh and owen trying so hard not to break

-me getting mad at the boys for not showing up for julie and being sad with her but at the same time i’m obviously not mad at the boys just...disappointed?? idk 

finally free

- how did julie get to the school if she missed the first three classes?? wasn’t she still at flynn’s house from the night before cause she slept over so did she walk to school or was she just sitting in flynn’s house by herself and one of flynn’s parents was like you gonna go to school or???

-dance class with nicky poo<3

-reggie fixing his amp in the rain

-julie’s blue dress outfit in this episode is my ABSOLUTE favorite 

- the birthday candle scene makes me sob like a little baby,,,and rightfully so

- julie smart, smart to be taking calculus as what a sophomore??

- all eyes on me yes queen iconic

- alex dancing is how i dance in my brain whenever the song comes on 

- finally free as a song is NEVER given enough credit and why not?? it’s my favorite song they do as a band AND the madison’s vocals and the echoing part omg i loveeeee

- and the whole performance with luke’s heart eyes. i count this performance as the moment luke like fell in love with julie...like full on just blown away with how much awe and admiration he has for her in that moment and all the time.

 - julie and luke singing “and you’re a part of me” while staring directly into each others soul,,,yeah that’s love kids

edge of great

- carlos being the ghost hunter he is and tía being done with him

- luke’s pouting face 

- reggie and ray making breakfast together is so wholesome. reggie really loves and seeks comfort in ray and i love that

- luke just waiting next to julie’s locker and his little “hey”

- the first time i watch this scene i thought charlie was from new york cause of the way he says “ i can't do this without you” and then i watched the cast interviews and just realized he is somewhat joey tribbiani 

- jealous luke hehehehehhehehe

- “well dont you look shARrP”- yes he does luke thank you very much

- “uh oh i think someone has a crush on julie” yeah you do you little shit,,, now admit it to her

- the proud look on luke’s face when he realizes julie is still paying attention to HIM even though she’s supposed to be having a full on conversation with nick

- the shoulder push ( as someone who has had their own shoulder pushed in the middle of a high school hallway as a weird way of flirting,,,,i can definitely somewhat attest to how luke is feeling in that moment and i too continued to flirt with the person who shoulder shoved me while we were still standing in the hallway)

- the flow from whatever the hell dance nick and julie are doing and the perfect harmony dance is so special to me and i love it

-ADOANCLOBNAOVBCOAB THE HAIR PLSSSSS

- EVERYTIME THE SCENE COMES ON AND I SEE HIM WALKING THROUGH THE MIRROR I HAVE TO PAUSE THE SHOW FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHILE I DIE LAUGHING BECAUSE THE HAIR IS SO BAD EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE USED TO HOW IT LOOKS AFTER WATCHING THIS SHOW LITERALLY 30 TIMES

- i think people see my username and assume i like his hair in this scene but...ummm fun little fact i do not like it

- the dance is so good though ugh my babies

- the hair

- madison is gorgeous 

- another season 2 scene i need: julie teaching this dance to luke and they perform it in front of alex and reggie so they can see luke roll on the floor like that

-the hair

- the lift i loveeee

- the voices at the end of the song *chef’s kiss*

- the way julie spins out from luke and into nick omg so good

- “thAnKs pArTnER”

- luke denying his feelings for julie,,,babe pls

- the whole edge of great performance is so good and beautiful and the colors are SPECTACULAR 

-julie avoiding luke’s gaze lolz

- can't believe my mans really tried to deny he didn’t have feelings for julie like 5 hours earlier even though he’s getting upset because she hasn’t looked at him in 2 minutes

- THE. GUITAR. RIFF. SOLO.

- when i finally learn how to play the electric guitar well enough to learn the guitar solo... it’s over for everyone

-nick just came to watch the girl he likes perform not watch her flirt with a hologram plssss can we give this man a break next season.

- “we have to say goodbye to julie”- that’s literally more important to luke than not playing music anymore because julie is music to him now

unsaid emily

-already crying and the episode hasn't even started

-willex in the orpheum

- alex literally being OVER reggie

- nope too emotionally unstable to watch this scene right now

- my therapist will be hearing about this tomorrow

- show us the baby picture of luke cowards

- this is such a beautiful song that makes me cry every fucking time gosh damn it

- everytime i watch the flashback scene of luke on his bike i think of “christmas song” by phoebe bridges and i cry even more

- i tried to learn how to play this song on my electric guitar (because i dont have an acoustic guitar) and i ended up crying half way through so i do not think i will be playing it anytime soon:/

- the harmonies *chef’s kiss*

- THE POLICE LIGHTS ....i cry

- FAT tears rolling down my face

- there's literally not a moment i don’t cry during this episode

- interesting little relationship :0

- when i played percussion in 7th grade i used to lay down on the couch in the practice room at school ( which god knows what people did on that couch...ew) and stick my drumsticks up my nose too,,,, just another similarity between alex and i 

stand tall

- willie really drove a bus 200 miles into the desert for his crush

- WILLEX HUG 

- i love willie no last name so much,,,i just wanna hold and protect him

- alex’s ballerina dance

-julie’s overall outfit i love<3

- “im swimming”

- the way carlos hangs up the iPad on tía makes me CRACK UP he’s just lmao bye girl

- another julie outfit i love

- “anything julie. you know that.” AHHHHHAASIDSJFPACISN love bitches

- the suits

- luke’s hair in this episode is so much better than the perfect harmony hair pls

- YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE

- the way luke looks so restricted and confined in his suit... but at the same time he looks like a 10 week old puppy

-luke’s AGGRESSIVE but small foot tapping leading up to being on the stage

- the solos:)))))

- crying again over julie’s monologue to her mom

- julie really was brave enough to be ready to perform by herself

-the way Trevor looks at carrie when she says “been here before”

-ALEXXXXXX

-REGGIEEEEE

-luuukkKKKEEEEEEE

- this performance makes me cry

- especially the first time when i saw luke flickering...sobs

- he finally looks free in his suit:))

- alex’s solo is so pretty i love him

- reggie’s solo too 

- nick just straight up vibing the entire performance

- alex and luke holding hands...hehehe cute besties

- “thank you, guys” NO THANK YOU 

- the way julie begs for them to do something about the jolts for HER cause she knows luke would never say no to her

- “no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you,” I JUST SCREAMED AND IM PRETTY SURE I WOKE UP MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD...whoops

- going back to that line i could say so much about it but....for someone who’s life was literally MUSIC for the 17 years he was alive, and after finding out he could play music again even though he was dead and saying it made him feel alive, he would give that up- he would give up playing his guitar, playing in a band with his friends, give up writing and singing music- if he wasn’t doing that with julie. that’s more than saying i love you,,,that’s literally like saying i’d give up my ENTIRE LIFE and what i love to do if i dont get to do it with you

- i just made myself cry with that description...wow

-the hug<3

-also imagine how luke felt in that moment,,, hearing this girl, once again that he would give his life up for, saying in his ear that she loves them. i would motherfucking glow too, luke

- *passionately but gently holds each others faces*

-HANDS OFF MY BABY NICK, CALEB

- caleb’s outfit is....something

- the head turn plssss

this was so long and i am so sorry but if you read this far.....leave some of your own reactions or thoughts:)))

k goodnight im gonna, ugh, finally go study ://

[skies-diary]

You are not the problem for driving a car instead of biking to work. You are not the problem for buying food wrapped in plastic. You are not the problem for leaving the light on overnight.

You are not the cause of the problems the world faces today. Late stage capitalism is.

Yes, driving a car causes air pollution. Yes, plastic is a cancer upon this land. Yes, using electricity burns coal.

Chances are, however, that you don't have any other choice - particularly if you live in America. I've never worked a job that was a comfortable walking distance away, because in America, walking cities aren't really a thing. Public transportation used to be common, but that's changed (because of multiple factors).

Food wrapped in plastic is, more often than not, the only option people have to be able to eat (particularly in food deserts, where the food is far more processed and, therefore, nearly always wrapped in layers of plastic, as opposed to produce and other less processed foods).

Civilian use only accounts for about 1/3 of electricity use; the rest is used by the "industrial and commerical" sectors. Yes, civilian use adds up, but it's nothing compared to manufacturing plants sucking down energy day after day. Using solar power is pushed hard for civilians, but the truth is many people do not have access to solar power; many people live in apartments where they cannot install solar panels, and other live in areas where the HOA forbids solar panels. If you dont live in the customer range of a company that produces green energy, you're out of luck as well.

The truth is individuals are not causing the climate crisis. Wanna know who is?

Here's a good starting point:

Emissions:

Plastic waste creation:

While this is by no means comprehensive, it's a launching point.

Through a mix of disinformation campaigns and lobbying for favorable laws, the corporations of America have convinced the public of America that the climate crisis is whatever the CEOs want it to be. First the narrative was that it wasn't real. But we can see the world burn, we see the fires in Californa and Australia. We see the disturbances in weather, causing natural disasters in rapid succession. We see the start of a mass extinction due to the planet beginning to fail. The lie that climate change is a hoax no longer holds water with the majority of the population.

So, new strategy. The corporate machine develops a new theroy, one still in use today: climate change is real, and it's your fault. You, as a consumer, have been reckless and greedy. Only you have to power to stop the oncoming climate crisis.

This is, of course, entirely false, but it allows corporations to continue, unpunished and unaccoutable, while consumers are saddled with the blame. The truth is, however, we cannot fix this from the civilian side. You can take all the five minute showers you want; that wont save the fish while factories are dumping toxic waste into oceans, while energy companies run pipelines under lakes and rivers which explode and poison the waters and all that live in or drink from them. You can trade in your car for a bike; Amazon and Walmart still runs delivery trucks across the nation day and night. You can bring your own bags to the grocery store and go without plastic straws; marine animals are more likely to be trapped in and drown by fishing nets.

So what does this mean? Give up?

No, of course not. What it means is to be critical of what you're being told about climate change. Recycling, cutting down on plastic use, going vegan, driving a hybrid; all of these are incredible places to start.

But - and I hate to say this - it's not enough. We cannot solve this by ourselves. The charts of corporate giants above; they're the ones that have to change.

So, we press them.

Call the customer complaint lines of companies like Nestle, Coca cola and Pepsi, as well as oil giants, and, keeping in mind that the person on the other end is also a working class person who has not caused any of this, tell them that you're boycotting their company because of their disregard for climate change. Encourage them to do R & D into things like biodegradable plastics if they want your business back. (I know some people cannot boycott these companies; that's okay. If you can, boycott. If you cannot, still call. You just need make them believe you're boycotting. Make them nervous. Make them change their behavior.)

Advocate for green energy; call your electric company and ask what they're doing in terms of green energy. Write or call your representatives and demand that green energy in your state be expanded via government backing like subsidies. Also tell your representatives to back the Green New Deal. Threaten to cast your vote elsewhere if they refuse.

Educate yourself on the facts about climate change and green energy so that when the media giants, megaphones for big oil politicians, and corporations try to tell you lies, you know they're full of shit. Also educate yourself on the views of your local and state representatives. If they're not governing in a way that is in your best interest, throw them out next election cycle. Unfortunately, we cant solve this without major policy and legal changes; your elected representatives are the ones who control those.

It can be hard to fight when you feel overwhelmed by all this. I understand. This is overwhelming to me every day. However, you need to remember: you are not powerless. The phone you're holding right now is a tool. Use it to write to and call the people who need an attitude adjustment. Use it to research. Use it to make a change.

Other great ideas for those who have the means to do so: Take public transport instead if driving. Grow a garden in your backyard; not only for yourself, also for your neighbors. Buy food at farmer's markets or other locally-sourced food (local is best as transporting food is a major polluter). Shop at thrift stores and buy secondhand.

Not everyone can do this. That's okay. You still have a voice. Use it.

Together, we are strong. Remind the bad guys of that.

[paintingtownsblue]

thanks for tagging me @goldenevermore :)))

interview tag!

rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

-nickname: most people don’t call me by a nickname but i looove them, i mostly get em which is super cute but there was one girl that called me emmy, that was also super cute i really don’t care tho lol

-pronouns: she/her

-star sign: pisces, and if u know me well, it is very evident in my personality

-height: like ALMOST 5 foot 7 in, very close

-time currently: 6:53 pm

-when is your birthday: feb 25, which is kind of boring but the full thing like 2-25-2005 looks cool so it’s fine

-favorite bands/groups: i’m honestly not a massive fan of bands butttttt one direction, haim, pentatonix, and old maroon 5 songs all slap so

-favorite solo artists: um taylor swift if it isn’t obvious but other than that i looooove halsey (they go by she/they pronouns now 🥰 also i cannot wait to see her baby), i love fletcher sm, ariana grande has a killer voice and i’ve seen her live she was sooo good, and i bop hard to like early 2010s pop stuff like lady gaga, katy perry, rihanna, kesha, yk anything of that particular vibe my taste is definitely a bit basic but that’s okay. :)

-song stuck in your head: right now it’s jesus take the wheel because i started singing it out of the blue during class today and it just wouldn’t go away... idk.

-last movie watched: ummm i haven’t watched anything in a while it might’ve been ww84, it’s not very good and it’s very long dont waste your time

-last show you binged: the good place, i’ve seen it twice i think? they know how to make actual good taylor swift jokes lol.

-when you created your blog: maybe october of last year? i don’t know, i know i didn’t post until november tho

-last thing you googled: uhhh i was looking up the dates of the zodiac signs cause i don’t remember them all and i was making sure that my cousin is an aries. yeah.

-other blogs: this is it. this is me. sorry.

-why you chose your url: ummm idk honestly just cause it has a nice ring to it and i love ma&thbp

-do you get asks: yes. it is all thanks to @likediamondsinthesky-13 and @catnipevermore i love you guys

-how many people are you following: 979. 😬 i was following 840 a couple days ago idk what happened but umm.. yeah

-how many followers do you have: 284 but i feel like i had 200 like a week ago it’s going up kinda fast uhhh hey guys :,) i love u all

-average hours of sleep: on school days, probably like... 4 or 5 average but on the weekends like a solid 12

-lucky number: 9 and my best friends lucky number is 13 and ever since we’ve been friends it’s started popping up more so that’s interesting

-instruments: i love the piano and i’m trying to get better every day i just cannot read music for the life of me and i tried learning guitar but idk and i really wanna get my nails done long 💀

-what i’m currently wearing: just plain black leggings with a green sweatshirt i got at a soccer tournament

-dream job: anything where i could create and/or play music would be so so fun but i also love to draw aaaand if not something artsyyyy i would like working with animals in whatever way possible

-dream trip: travel down the north american west coast, from british columbia down to la. ugh that would be the dream, i’ve done something similar before but not to that extent

-favorite food: i love salmon sooo much but also just anything chocolate

-favorite song: call it what you want by taylor swift

-top 3 fictional universes you’d like to live in: umm that’s hard i cant pick 3 but i wanna know what the fuck is happening in narnia

20 is too many so i’m just tagging: @likediamondsinthesky-13 @catnipevermore @folkloredeluxe @nineteeneightyninetour @kasuallykrool @patch-up-your-tapestry and i was gonna tag @/album5track2 but u stole her from me 😡

[percydarling]

I'll be honest,if the weasley kids had a tv show I would have percy as my favourite. Bill aand charlie arent in it so I wouldnt have an opinion (they're obviously hinted at but never there) Arthur's gonna annoy me kinda, molly is really nice but she always compares her kids. Ron (as lovely as he is) can be really mean to percy and just sucky to him. I love Ginny but everyone knows jk made her because "girl power= not feminine traits!1!1!1!" I love her,I love her love for quidditch but I feel like I still clearly see what she represents and that's jks sentiments (like cho for example, as an asian it's never gonna leave my mind). The twins would be great in theory but 2 twins insulting their older brother, burning a hole through their brothers tongue? Pranking everybody ALL THE TIME? I say I love them but seriously if I studied at hogwarts I would loathe them because hey, were in class- prank somebody in a more boring one or after. Also they're way too mean to percy.

Percy is the kinda dude I'd identify with, I hate how his family shames him alot. Sure hes ambitious but at the same time I hate when they bully him for his pride in his prefect badge and his head boy badge, like CMON! Gryffindor traits??? PRIDEFUL like yeah hes gonna be happy because he feels accomplished. I remember getting into model un and I talked about it at dinner time,my siblings got kinda annoyed but did they insult me abt it? No! They understood that this was a big part of my pride. They teased me a little "Haha model un-er" or "your rooms the country your representing right? Oops I dont have my passport" regular happy sibling stuff. You dont insult your brothers pride and joy, it's obvious hes so happy about it.

If there's gonna be a show on the Weasley family, the only interestee Weasley I would be watching is for Percy. Now let's go through every Weasley.

Arthur- at work, never home, if at home in shed exploring muggle things instead of probably bonding with his children.

Molly-would do chores, help children and maybe chat with next door neigbour. A slight chance of bonding with kids. Not very entertaining really.

Bill and Charlie- I mean depends whether they're even there or gone. If they're there they'd probably argue with each other. Maybe we'll get the Bill earring story and Charlie dragon obsession. Other than that maybe sibling bonding which is always good.

Twins- I cannot emphasize enough as to why I wouldn't watch the twins, if there was such a tv show. Each episode they'll probably prank someone most probably Ron and Percy. And then these pranks would get violent and physical and they would still be the saints and Percy the villain.

I mean the twins cause Ron's phobia, almost make him take the Unbreakable Vow (Ron was 5!) and then beat his Puffskein to death.

AND PUFFSKEIN IS AN ANIMAL.

And that's only Ron. If I start on Percy the jokes are endless but let's just end with the twins tried to locked Percy in a pyramid( God knows how old!). Enough said.

Ron- We already have Ron content in the book. Do we really need more? Yes we do but not if it's Ron insulting Percy. And if this show was before Harry and Hogwarts then Ron would be a young child like 9-10 years old and I personally wouldn't be interested. I love Ron but he loses absolutely no moment to insult or bitch about his brother. Plus Ron is whiny. Sometimes.

Ginny- They'll probably make her a Mary Sue who can do no wrong. They would seriously do that and make her a female version of the twins. Sorry not interested in watching her.

When we come to Percy there are so many things we can do. We can see bonding with Bill or Charlie. Percy being a good older brother and helping with nightmares. Percy being his mother's support system. Percy helping Arthur with his work. Percy teaching Ron chess. Percy planning a prank with twins. Percy playing dolls with Ginny.

With Percy you can relate him to everyone in some way or another. We know Molly loves Percy and probably considers him her favorite. Probably. Arthur with the Ministry so Percy and Ministry. Percy going to Bill with help for studies. Percy helping Charlie research about dragons.(Percy telling Charlie his dormmate is crazy about quidditch and asking if Charlie could give him tips and an autograph)

Percy playing chess with Ron. We know Percy is protective over Ron and Ginny. So we can assume that Percy teaches Ron chess and helps him read. Percy reading to Ginny about Harry Potter.(Really though who else would have? Molly would be busy and Bill and Charlie wouldn't)

Or we can have Percy writing stuff. Short stories and articles. Percy being a writer. Percy singing , dancing or drawing. Percy sneaking to Muggle town and talking to them.

Percy finding Scabbers.

Percy going to the Lovegood residence and talking with Luna's mother because she is such an amazing person.

(And taking her death the hardest)

Also Percy bonding with Luna.

Percy bonding with Uncle Billius or Great Aunt Muriel. Also reminsing time with Uncle Gideon and Fabian.

Percy having babysitter called Lily Potter who looked just like him but with bright green eyes. She reads to him about adventure stories and tells him she loves him very much and once brought her husband with her(who's an animagus!)

(While his brothers rejoiced the fall of You Know Who, Percy cried because Miss Lily and Mr James were dead. That was the time Percy realised that bad things happen to good people)

Well to put it in short there are so many angles with Percy which makes him interesting in my opinion.

If they do make let's hope they don't screw Percy over like they did with him in that damn game.

Also for that Percy interacting with Muggles there's an interesting fanfic called Percy's Diary.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7542632/1/Percy-s-Diary

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Percy is the only Weasley who I can relate to which makes me love him more. I am an elder sibling, have been constantly insulted by family and friends for following rules and very rarely been put down for being excited for something.

And the whole making fun of Percy is bullying when they're laughing at him and not with him.

These 2 prepositions make all the difference when it comes to teasing and bullying.

And the twins are bullies. They are.

"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should've said something, we had no idea."

This is one of the lines they say.

How much do you want to bet that the twins didn't say something like this to Bill when he became prefect and HeadBoy?

Percy was a constant butt of their jokes and pranks, including bewitching his prefect and Head Boy badges to read Pinhead and Bighead Boy respectively, and sending dragon dung to his office at the Ministry.

This is from the official wikia. People can try to make the twins saint and say it was all good natured and everything. But I will always see the twins as bullies.

And the thing is the twins and Ron never bothered to praise Percy and that just feels wrong. Everytime they talk about Percy it's qn insult. When I talk about my brother to an acquaintance I don't insult him unlike Ron.

I feel that as Percy fans we love him because he is complicated. He isn't like the rest of the Weasleys. He isn't charming or funny. He's just a normal guy trying to do better and Percy fans get it because it's relatable. We can relate to being ordinary. He doesn't have earrings or pranks or a saviour best friend. He's just a guy who follows rules and wants to be successful. Who wouldn't relate with that?

And maybe some of us have been ridiculed just like Percy so we understand. We also understand that this is Harry's biased view and all he has been told about Percy is usually by Ron or the twins who insult him on a regular basis. And Harry is no better! He uses words like pompously like he understands how a person talks pompously?

So I love Percy a lot because I relate to him and I would never in my life apologise for loving such a complicated character.