me; *(spends five hours planning out my courses for the university i just got accepted into this morning, in a way so that im guranteed to succeed and wont leave me burnt out and drained)*
the university: oopsie daisies!! nope, you can't do that!! forever why would we want someone to actually succeed at what they're good at and want to do??? nope!! you gotta remove most if not all of those first year courses and replace them with a larger variety of things for a more diverse learning experience, whether you hold interest or talent in those subjects or not!!!! oh and you gotta do these two courses as well, these are actually required, haha, i forgot to tell you that!
me, now destined to burn out and fail:
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I should have been graduating but my parents fucked me over so they could take money from me lol lmao even
at least deep down I know that a degree doesn’t mean a single thing anymore and it’s just a filter for your resume to be auto rejected or have a 5% chance of being viewed by a real person
but yeah that filter hurts now. then again it seems like most jobs are fake posts now.
it’s over either way 😎
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I know it's wrong and bad to say this, but sometimes I really hate when my friends have other friends. (specifically when I can't also be friends with those friends) because every time I want someone to hang out with or talk to, the only couple friends I have are always busy with their other friends. when I want to plan something with them, they will always choose the other friends over me. they will cancel plans *with* me as soon as other friends ask, but won't cancel plans *for* me when i ask. they will use up their social spoons on other friends and leave none for me. always putting things with me off or simply not responding at all.
i'm always told by random people when I say I want mkre friends "it's better to have a couple great friends than many aquantances" or something like that. but honestly it sucks because you can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there for you every day or every week when you want or need someone. if you keep asking, you're seen as annoying and clingy and they will ignore you eventually (or worse)
it's annoying that they get to fill their social needs at all times, but I never get to. because i'm never the one that gets to go first in the social queue. and when it gets to my turn, it refreshes and i'm pushed to the back again.
the only solution I can ever think of is being friends with my friends' friends too....but for some reason!!!!!! that never works out!!!! (if my friends will even share their friends with me to begin with)
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sometimes i think im pretty lucky with my body image tbh because while like everyone i have stuff i don't like about my body (like i do struggle sometimes with wishing i were prettier and the shape of my nose) but there's lots of stuff that i see other ppl worry about it never even occurs to me to think about like my hip dips and it just makes me sad that people are taught to hate such insignificant things about their body :/ like i think i have bad body image and then ill see someone worrying about that and im like 'oh sis :/'
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Thinking about the fact that my therapist cancelled my previous appointment, which mean I literally had more than one month to fill the various tests he gave me and still... I do them the night before.
I think he's gonna have a pretty solid idea of the mess I am just by seeing the date 🙃
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