#im GOING to fail because of these requirements. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lunar-wandering · 3 months ago

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me; *(spends five hours planning out my courses for the university i just got accepted into this morning, in a way so that im guranteed to succeed and wont leave me burnt out and drained)*

the university: oopsie daisies!! nope, you can't do that!! forever why would we want someone to actually succeed at what they're good at and want to do??? nope!! you gotta remove most if not all of those first year courses and replace them with a larger variety of things for a more diverse learning experience, whether you hold interest or talent in those subjects or not!!!! oh and you gotta do these two courses as well, these are actually required, haha, i forgot to tell you that!

me, now destined to burn out and fail:

#i just. i just fucking cant.#i was excited to finally get a start on things and i had things planned perfectly #cause i CANNOT DO WELL in classes that DONT INTEREST ME #but no. i have to have languages and sciences in here. cause i can't take all humanities.#and i have to take two boring as shit art history courses as well #or else they'll KICK ME OUT.#why the FUCK cant i just do the ones i wanna do??? they're all first year courses!!!#why should i have to do stuff i hold no interest or talent in and am going to fail at???#just completely fucking obliterated all my motivation and drive to actually go to school.#and now ive spent an hour and a half trying to conform to their hard to decipher course requirements #and now my schedule- which looked managable for me before- looks horrible and draining.#im GOING to fail because of these requirements.#i know this. i know my brain.#im never going to be able to do anything with my life cause every single thing #has stupid locked doors that i dont have the keys to standing in my way #vent

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aroaceleovaldez · 2 months ago

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full on feel like pjo tv s2 is not gonna hold up so they need to drag as much attention to the series as they can by using nico as a sock puppet w tsats2

im fully expecting the show to go the way of the movies. it doesnt help Sea of Monsters is almost unanimously the least favorite book of the first series. People frequently forget it even exists or what happens in it, especially more casual fans.

Heck, just look at how little fanfare the second season has gotten so far as compared to the build up to s1. I wouldn't be surprised if s2 totally flops. It would be a little funny.

#pjo #riordanverse #pjo tv #pjo tv crit #tsats 2 #Anonymous #ask #im still sad theyre beating every dead horse in the franchise they can EXCEPT for the graphic novels #the poor graphic novels arent getting advertised AT ALL and the BoO one got cancelled #like. the graphic novels would actually be probably one of the best advertising avenues!#like. hey! you dont need to write a whole new book! just remind people of previous books and give them a way to refresh on it #and given how the first couple of graphic novels were a different artists i could totally see them doing a second version #just to make them all consistent. thatd make sense and be reasonable.#the show has also already kind of trapped itself in a corner in a couple of ways #for one they kind of screwed themselves over failing to plan for the actors. yknow. ageing.#Walker is already taller than like. most of the cast. Percy's gonna be TOWERING over Luke by TLO #i think the main trio is all like almost 16 already? and we're only on s2. its gonna be rough. they didnt think about it. they didnt plan.#also with how theyve been messing with plot and characterization theyre VERY quickly going to start running into hurdles #because they dont seem to understand the more you change earlier on. the less the later stuff will work without also needing change #because. it's dependent on what comes before. so we will very quickly be requiring either MASSIVE canon divergence or a lot of retcon #and retcon in the show is going to be VERY OBVIOUS #though i stand by itll be so funny if they solve too much too quickly in s2 just like the movies and it just ends on #''wait. crap. what are we going to do for s3 now. we solved too much too early. they have nothing to do''

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featherymainffins · 5 months ago

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Kinda fucked up how all the people I know are like "Yeah I know what I want in my life. I want to work in X field and I want/don't want a long-term partner who I'm going to marry, I want kids and-"

and I'm there just like 🧍

#like wow ok #i have no idea what i want man I'm just doing what's required of me #or more like i think i know some of the things i want but I'm actively beating them up every day and instead choosing #what i consider to be my duty #like yeah I really want to work in design and you know the dream is character design and concept art but that's unrealistic #and any design would do. but that's selfish so like lol no. psychology it is. social work if i fail at that. it's an acceptable #compromise. it's not what I want but it is what i am ok with subjecting myself to.#whenever it looks like I might fail a class at university i get really anxious but also really excited #because on one hand I'm failing to take care of my duties and responsibilities. on the other if they kicked me out nobody could #say i didn't try. i could just say that I'm too stupid. i could say that i don't have what it takes. id be a failure but not out of my #volition. they could tell me that im stupid or inferior but they couldn't label me selfish.#and then id just fuck off to work as a florist or maybe id just work in a smokes shop or anything low stakes like that #while I'd be looking for a job in design. hell i don't even need a job in that field; id love to just work a simple job where after clocking #out i could just go home and partake in my hobbies. like i wouldn't even need to have it as my field of work id be perfectly #content with posting character designs online and sometimes getting a small buck by selling pins and dolls and etc #that's definitely what i want in life. but that's fucked up and selfish and would make me a failure and then i would never #be able to even dream of earning humanity. so. doing my duty it is

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 8 months ago

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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

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dysaniadisorder · 9 months ago

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i hate how normalized military is in the us im gonna rip my hair out

#i just. was talking w friends today #one of them was talking abt how he was almost convinced by the recruitment lady to join the navy and i was like. dude #and i was talking about how messed up it is that they send in people like that and catch kids like him #and my friends were like. you cant really blame her for doing her job. its her JOB like yes. it is her job. its fucking Bad #my best friend got all angry cuz his dad was in the navy. babe idc if he didnt actually fight he shouldnt have done it ♡#''people get drafted'' you have to dodge the draft.#''thats illegal'' yes. this is a requirement for if you are drafted. you Have to just not.#no one said action would be comfortable nor convenient. in fact it is going to be almost none of either #you are gonna have to face that the military murders human beings and your dad is not any better #and people who its ''just their job'' to do it chose that job. and they know #''you cant get mad at the worker woman; you have to get mad at the institution'' no im mad at the individual woman too #just because its your job to manipulate kids and kill Arab people doesnt mean its okay #''not everyone in the military is actively fighting'' no! they arent. but they are helping those that are.#they are not complicit but actively helping. you have to do anything and everything you can to just Not Fucking do that #ANYONE in the military has failed being a decent human 101. being in any part of the military means you are okay with centuries of genocide #and encourage even more. its not 'just your job' you are OK and more for relentless murder and i wish you harm #anyways. sometimes repeating & internalizing the things ur parents say means watch our for road traps and the beatles are good.#sometimes it is US propaganda and just because it is in your own house and coming from a loved one doesnt mean you cant not fall for it #edit not to mention him saying this the day after aaron bushnell died. dude #unethical jobs exist. it is everyones job to bring them down #''its just her job'' was Bushnells sacrifice not fucking enough for you??? and the millions of dead Palestinians????? christ

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theresa-of-liechtenstein · 1 year ago

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found something out that is going to fucking ruin my day (course required for graduation and only offered once a year conflicts with course required for graduation and only offered once a year)

#I WANT TO GO HOME. FUCK ME #i’m panicking i CANNOT spend an extra year. i cannot. i cannot #AND ITS NOT EVEN MY FAULT!#ITS THE FUCKING HONORS REQUIREMENTS #i’ve never failed a class i’ve never had to retake a single class #THIS IS NOT MY FAULT #IM DOING MORE THAN LITERALLY EVERYONE IN MY MAJOR #i’m going to cry what the actual hell. i’m so fucking… i cant #i’ve been dreading this day since the start of the quarter because i just KNEW something like this was going to happen #but i thought it was going to happen with ORCHESTRA #as it stands i’ll still be attending orchestra full time. it’s my major requirements that are fighting with each other

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crowcryptid · 6 months ago

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I should have been graduating but my parents fucked me over so they could take money from me lol lmao even

at least deep down I know that a degree doesn’t mean a single thing anymore and it’s just a filter for your resume to be auto rejected or have a 5% chance of being viewed by a real person

but yeah that filter hurts now. then again it seems like most jobs are fake posts now.

it’s over either way 😎

#basically what happened was: they forced me to go to college despite me having no real income #I had no way to get to class besides uber #then I ran out of cash and they refused to pay for transportation #so that led to me failing every class obviously cause I couldn’t even get to class #then I lost my financial aid which had been covering all my class fees #basically. they just wanted me to get to working full time while doing school and this was their way of doing it #so now im doing my classes at a snails pace so they could take the majority of my paycheck 👍👍#and im stuck paying for it all out of pocket now as I can’t get financial aid again #because to apply again I’d need legal documents proving there was some even that caused me to fail my classes #as well as requiring me to take more classes than my job will allow due to the schedule #yay parents am I right yay.#normal parents would have been like : ok you can work part time #or you know just provide the uber payment if you’re the one forcing me to. whatever man this was 4 years ago it’s over now

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autisticlee · 6 months ago

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I know it's wrong and bad to say this, but sometimes I really hate when my friends have other friends. (specifically when I can't also be friends with those friends) because every time I want someone to hang out with or talk to, the only couple friends I have are always busy with their other friends. when I want to plan something with them, they will always choose the other friends over me. they will cancel plans *with* me as soon as other friends ask, but won't cancel plans *for* me when i ask. they will use up their social spoons on other friends and leave none for me. always putting things with me off or simply not responding at all.

i'm always told by random people when I say I want mkre friends "it's better to have a couple great friends than many aquantances" or something like that. but honestly it sucks because you can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there for you every day or every week when you want or need someone. if you keep asking, you're seen as annoying and clingy and they will ignore you eventually (or worse)

it's annoying that they get to fill their social needs at all times, but I never get to. because i'm never the one that gets to go first in the social queue. and when it gets to my turn, it refreshes and i'm pushed to the back again.

the only solution I can ever think of is being friends with my friends' friends too....but for some reason!!!!!! that never works out!!!! (if my friends will even share their friends with me to begin with)

#and dont even get me started on when i share my friends with each other and they choose each other over me and kick me out lmao #WHY ARE FRIENDS SO HARD #why am i just a little creature that requires certain amounts/types of social interaction that never gets met #and no one wants to do anything about it. and im forced to sit here feeling bad about it because i cant fix it either fbbdbdfghhdhjrhfdj #this whole friend and human interaction and bonding and companionship bullshit is going to be lifelong issue and im not here for it #NO ADVICE IM GIVEN WORKS. IM TIRED OF ONE SIDED BULLSHIT WHERE ONLY I TRY. HUMANS ARE ANNOYING #im like a non human creature that wears human skin and everyone except me knows and they dont want me and i domt know why #i also dont have the energy to do the whole new friends song and dance where you small talk to get to know each other #and share your life stories. i rather just hang out and become friends through enjoyment of mutual enjoyed activity????#or something like that idk #i tried so hard to be friendly to friends' friend last weekend when we all hung out so i can be adopted into their friend group but #they didnt even tell me it was nice meeting me and hanging out and didnt even say bye to me. only to my friends #and i was too sad about that to say it to them instead as they walked away. theyre way more social and good at words #and i was overwhelmed and struggling to speak so i was waiting for the queue to say those things or something #i expected it like an idiot loser becuase i thought i did a good job being a cute gremlin that fits into the group that seems to have #other goofy gremlins like me. i thought maybe they can be “my people” or something. but then they turned around and left #after telling my friends bye. and didnt acknowledge me. and i juat kept smiling and turned around and walked away too #PRETENDING IT WAS FINE. BUT IT FELT BAD. BECAUSE I FAILED TO MAKE A FRIEND WHEN I THOUGHT I DID GOOD WITH THEM FOR ONCE #so “being confident/believing in yourself” like im told to do DIDNT WORK AND IT FELT WORSE THAN DOUBTING MYSELF. YOU LIARS. ugh fhdhdhfhjssk #WHAT DO. WHY LEE BAD AT THIS. WHY IT FEEL BAD. WHY NOT JUST ACCEPT BEING ALONE 99% OF TIME AND GIVE UP. WOULD BE EASIER #lee rants #autism things #i know its rude to invite yourself into a friend group but what if i try anyway 🤪✌️

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kohakhearts · 1 year ago

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well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas

#taylor.txt #incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks #like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any #treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really #feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i #despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it #i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni #thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious #anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week #and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why #the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments #has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but #theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed #again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude #i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process #and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to #say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is #also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over #i PROMMY

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gothcarmelasoprano · 2 years ago

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maw why are these troll accounts linked through my ex best friends STILL following me

#im highly convinced at this stage she was the one that made the fake accounts #the gas thing is is that she was mainly an online friend and had she kept in touch with me at the time she wouldve known i was in the #studio in college preparing for my assignment for the semester so i dont fail like there were specific requirements we had to get done for #that week... and you think i would have that time to make fake accounts if anything itd be you and your online friends #emphasis on online because you could hardly make friends or even get a job here so you got one back home #the saddest thing is that the memes can be funny but its just what they represent in this whole situation that sours it completely #dont get me started on her friend she is honestly so polarising even from an outsider's perspective #ugh it doesnt annoy me anymore as it did because at the end of the day it has nothing to do with me but the fact that theyre STILL going on #about it makes me think that her and her online buddies have nothing else to do apart from being with themselves constantly #i had that life but no way did i want to live that way in my 20s 💀#i fucked up before that incident but isnt it convenient when we hardly spoke for a month just for the ~fake account~ to appear to stop #being friends like as awful as it sounds but itd actually be a lot easier just to say you dont want to be friends #instead of dragging outsiders into it like you do best #the saddest thing is that she was actually quite fake even before she went down a permanent online rabbit hole #and i was aware of it but because i was emotionally vulnerable at the time i never cut her off since i really wanted friends to talk to #play that cool girl alty idgaf attitude all you like but it doesn't change the fact that you're superficial no matter how much you mask it #ugh im hormonal and i cant sleep but at the same time its nice to be able to freely bc not as many people use tumblr anymore #i block those accounts not because im offended or im precious about my image but they do spam and its annoying af so i dont want that tbh #having pictures with a school friend whilst under the same breath making jokes of their dead brother is not a good look 😬#i did fucked up things as a result of coping with trauma and alienation as a teenager but this is actually low?#im sorry but it does it screams fake and im pretty sure that the fake treatment was given to me when we first became friends #fake people rarely ever change #i have to get ready for work in an hour this was unexpected #might vent later because i feel like i can do anything on this godforsaken website #the shocking thing to them is that they nothing on me if anything the 'proof' she showed me almost exposed her and her crowd #i have deleted my fb account but i still have the screenshots somewhere

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tenrose · 2 years ago

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Thinking about the fact that my therapist cancelled my previous appointment, which mean I literally had more than one month to fill the various tests he gave me and still... I do them the night before.

I think he's gonna have a pretty solid idea of the mess I am just by seeing the date 🙃

#it reminds me of school assignment #and btw i feel the same #trying not to fail dkdkdjeke #unfortunately some don't have the 'it depends' mark #and that very unfortunate #because im like #'yes i don't like being around a lot of people in the street supermarket'#'but the one time every two years i go to metal concert im fine with it'#so i feel like my replies are gonna be lies #imma make an extra paper in case he let me extend some answers #do you think developing and something that requires literally no sentence tells something fucked about me? 😬#misc

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ikilledamanforthisurl · 3 days ago

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how did coders figure out how to have fun and enjoy code at all cuz i like making cool awesome shit and webpages can be so cool and awesome but the process of this is just mind numbingly enragingly disengaging

#ikildaman shut the fuck up #show me a code draft/base to customise and i get so angry when something doesnt work and i get so angry at my own ideas #because of all the Assets they would require which then thus requires me to go Find them or Draw them myself #and if im ever coding 3d modelling chiptune composing etc its cuz i dont Fucking wanna draw rn #so then i quit after 2 seconds of tinkering #show me an empty page and no. hahaha. oh no baby that's not happening. dont even joke luv. im not entertaining this #like i knoww its kindof stupidly simple. and learning it can also be stupidly simple #good luck getting me to watch footage on Special Text Tutorial that has nothing but Typing text in a special way though #you know what? if i fail to make it to the end of the projected texture eyes tutorial seriesa 3rd time i'll watch a learn code video instea #it literally CAN NOT be as fucking painful to sit thru as that series of videos

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yippeecahier · 8 months ago

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