bendpalm

[gothcarmelasoprano]

maw why are these troll accounts linked through my ex best friends STILL following me

[ruuufus]

Ugh I rarely make posts anymore but something from Pretty Little Liars Summer School just gets me so upset.

Because in season 1 I really liked Noa. I thought she made a lot of dumb decisions, but she always seemed to have good reasons. And even if she didn't I understand their kids and gonna do stupid things anyway. But I feel like I'm being gaslit into liking Noas new girlfriend, Jen. Both on and off of the show.

And I didn't hate Jen to start. I was initially excited that Noa was queer. I dont like that we had to have another bi character discover her sexuality through cheating. But thats an issue with the writers and societies perception of bisexual people as a whole.

But the show is called Pretty Little Liars so I give Noa so much leeway in liking Jen. When Jen first stole money from their job I was like "Noa do better!" But I thought if thats the worst of it, eh not too bad.

But when Noa asks Shawn for $2000 to bail out her mistress the show started to lose me. But even then I was like okay they gotta have some drama for the end. But that also wasnt the end of it!

While Shawn is getting cheated on his mom finds out about the $2000 and rightfully demands it back. (Which Jen should've been making an effort to pay it back anyway, not just when his mom gets mad). And Shawn loves and trusts Noa so much that he gets angry with his mom. So Noa asks Jen to come up with the money. And what does Jen do? She robs Shawns house?????? Not only is that awful, but also incredibly stupid! You couldnt find any other persons house to rob?

And even when Shawns mom tries to tell him that Noa robbed the place, he doesnt believe her. He cant fathom that Noa would ever betray him like that. And yeah it was Jen not Noa, but Noa staays with Jen so as far as I'm concerned her name is cosigned to that robbery

And side note I don't even love Shawn all that much. His steroid arc in the first season was annoying, but he did not deserve this.

Finally Noa realizes this has gone too far and breaks up with Shawn. But she doesn't confess the cheating, manipulation for the bail money, or the robbery. Shawn at least figures the cheating part out (im not sure about the other two things) and goes to confront Noa, but finds Jen.

Jen, who he paid all of her bail. Then she "paid him back" by robbing his fucking house! According to Jen, Shawn yells at her and punches the wall. And for arguments sake we'll believe Shawn did everything Jen claimed (even though Jens a proven liar and manipulator).

No Shawn should not have punched the wall. But could you imagine discovering your partner, who you love. Who you defended time and time again to your friends and family. Who you gave a huge chunk of your savings to to help her mistresses with bail. And then that mistress breaks into your house and violates your home. So he has every right to be fucking pissed. And yeah he shouldn't have punched the wall (if he did), but he is also 16. Everyone keeps saying the girls are just 16, well so is he. Hes 16, and just found out the person he loves lied, cheated, manipulated, and stole from him.

And then Noa finds out right? And she absolutely destroys his car. Which is stupid! You have a criminal record girl. His mom hates your guts! But even then Shawn doesnt call the police. And by the way when confronted about the hole in the wall, the first thing Shawn says is "you're a liar."

But fine okay the show is called Pretty Little Liars, drama is the name of the game. I resign myself to holding out hope Jen will be less prominent or written off next season. Because I actually still don't hate Noa. I think she's being mad dumb, but I don't hate her. I do hate Jen (no hate to the actresses though).

Also the girls are supportive of Noa and Jen, only because they dont know everything! If Faran knew that Noa had stayed with Jen after she robbed Shawns house. After stealing from their job. Faran would be like "what the fuck, this isnt smart or good for you."

But where Im really feel like Im being gaslit is on social media. Because first off this isnt good representation to start. Another bi character who has to cheat to learn shes bi isnt good rep! So lets not act like it. But also The creators are working overtime to demonize Shawn on twitter to make me like Jen. And Im not ride or die for Shawn, but he was a lot better than Jen. Jen didnt have any reedeeming qualities. I was waiting for one. But the only time she is a help to Noa is when she saves her from bloody rose, and when Noa needs to hotwire a car. Which are both crisis situations. And if all shes good for is a crisis, then shes not a good partner!

My hope if we get a season 3 is that these problematic aspects of Noa and Jen are acknowledged and explored more until they break up. Cause I just can't see a way to salvage the Jen character. And no that doesnt mean I want Noa to get back with Shawn. Honestly, I want Noa to stay far away from Shawn and either be single for a while or get a new girl.

[ladyfanatics]

01/11/23

me and my ex-best friend are friends again!! i’m so happy omg. and also her bsf aren’t friends anymore, since like 2 weeks. tomorrow, i have art class, and i’m not stressed. also the most awkward interaction happened to me today. i’m so embarrassed it’s not funny omd 😭. ok so sometimes, i just stare at people, not to be mean but my eyes wonder. anyways this dude told me to stop talking to him cuz i’m only in 9th grade, and he’s in the 11th. i was like how old are you ? and he’s like oh i’m 16, and i was like wow ur old! as a JOKKEEE istg. he got offended and he tells me “well don’t talk to me then 😒” i tell him i’m joking and i leave cuz wtf do you want me to do atp? ugh people are so ODD 😭 i had to look up embarrassing stories to make myself feel better. anyways, the whole school practically knows who i like at this point! wanna know because of who? my supposed friend. my (best?) friend and i were talking about her cousin again, and discussing his hoes and (manyyy) exes, and she suddenly drops the bomb on me, that during our free period, my friend (lola) had told one of the dude’s hoes that i liked him, and the hoe’s friend was there and ended up telling her 💀. obviously, i was mad. because WHY are you telling people. i lowkey cursed her out… ok yeah, that wasn’t a good idea, i do regret it. but ugh seriously? what a low blow. when i asked her about it (let’s be fr!), she told me that she didn’t and everyone already knew anyways. (also what kind of answer is that) now i’m confused, who should i believe? anyways, more boy talk cuz i can and will, period! today, i had gym class (he’s in it) and i was playing volleyball with some people, him included. (let’s call him luis) but i was so bored. i got annoyed with how boring it was, and left. we could choose what to do, so i walked around, before deciding to play basketball with some dudes. one of them, is especially touchy. during the game, he’d grab my arms and push me with it. aka, simple play fighting. but obviously, i don’t like him. i like luis 😩. anyways, luis and his friend leave to play badminton or wtv. while i’m busy playing (fr!) i see him coming over to play. i ask him what team he’s in, he says “yours”. btw, i suck at basketball, i was only there cuz i was bored. anyways, even though i was in his team, he kept making me go around him for the ball. he’d laugh and say stuff like “come catch the ball from me”. then, for like the first time ever, i manage to do a actual pass. excitedly, i yell out to no one “i did it!”. i raise my arms up, as i walk towards his direction. and he catches my hand and close his hands on it. at the end of the class, i’m dying. he asks me if i’m okay, while covering my shoulder with his hand. i almost died… then, in english class, he kept asking me to switch places with the girl he was sitting next to. i kept telling luis i would, but i never did. for some reason, someone had stolen my assigned seat?? i had to sit next to his cousin (same girl who told me lola told that bitch’s friend) he kept gesturing that he wanted that girl sitting next to him OUTTT, and me there instead. and when me and my friends were walking out of school, he smiled at me but i didn’t notice (soon after that the awkward interaction happened) anyways, i still think he doesn’t like me. apparently he’s getting back with his ex? i’m totally reading too much into his behaviour. i don’t think i spoke about this, but yesterday, we were sitting next to each other in our free period, and he asked me if he could take a picture of me. i asked why, and he said “for my brother”. naïve as i am, i believed him. so i took his phone and took a selfie (i looked fat in it 😢) then i was like, what’s your brother’s account? he goes to a DIFFERENT account and that’s when i realize i’m stupid, and he sent that to his friend. he then asks me to walk him to his locker to meet his brother. HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE ONE? so i walked him to his locker for nothing 😞. i think that’s it. goodnight

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

Boyfs 41 🤔

Player 2: Michael fucking help Jake is talking to her I'm aowuwowhsj I'm done. Mission failed. We won't get em next time cuz there won't BE a next time

Michael was in his PT Cruiser waiting in the parking lot for Jeremy to come out from his first day of rehearsal. Although Jeremy, instead of heading outside, was seemingly spying on Jake and Christine.

Player 1: Lol dude I don't think your chances of getting closer to Chris are ruined just because Jake's talking to her

Player 2: Psh yeah sure cute sentiment

"You were in that play last year"

"Romeo and juliet"

"Yeah! You were ghe girl that died!"

Wait wtf

Wtf how has this guy fucked Chloe fuxking Valentine what

Player 1: OMG ARE YOU LIVE TWEETING THEIR CONVO?? Plz holy shit

Player 2: HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT A BOW IS HE JUST CALLED IT A VICTORY DANCE IM????

Fuckinffuck Chris it totally into it she's all smiley andifjdodh

Is this how he does it?? He just??? Acts like a total dork?????

Player 1: If that's all it takes to be popular then how are YOU not the most popular guy at school

Player 2: Vxisbdkdbdkd shit up

Shit

S h u t

Player 1: You love me

Player 2: Unfortunately

"I remember thinking,, I'm gLAd that girl's not DEad! Before I got the chance to know her" Jesus christ him?? With Chloe?? I'm still just??? HOW?!?!?!?

Oh fuck he invited her to hang out at the mall SHIT

Player 1: Jer come on!! Jake is proof humans aren't evolving anymore. You have just as high a chance of winning chris as him!! Go talk to her!!! Dork it up!!!

Player 2: Bdidnsjdd uhhh??? Ok????

Player 1: You got this man

A couple minutes passed without a response. A good sign!

Player 2: i very much dont got this

Dude I'm gonna throw myself into a trash can I barely got ten words out before she was like "sorry did you say something?"

SHES ALREADY WRAPPED AROUND JAKES FINGER UGH SHE LIKE BARELY ACKNOWLEDGED MY EXISTENCE

Not a good sign.

Player 1: Hey don't sweat it man, at worst they might hang for a couple weeks and then he'll crawl on back to Chloe. He always does

Player 2: I guess it could've gone worse... I didn't end up in the nurse's office out of sheer panic

Player 1: There ya go! Not a huge loss!

Player 2: Doesnr exactly prove your documentary right ya know

I mean don't you get tired of us constantly being called lovers?

Michael tilted his head. It was annoying whenever stray assholes in the hall would pull their homophobic remarks, not to mention Rich's NOH OMO and BOYF RIENDS stunts, but that wasn't really-

Player 2: OMFG ***LOSERS

Ffs even autocorrevt thinks we're together

Michael snorted at his phone. Over two years of random classmates asking him if he and 'Anxious Twig' were dating and giggling in the halls whenever he'd throw his arm around Jeremy's shoulders and now predictive text was shipping them.

How funny. How cruel.

Player 1: Damn auto-correct... it's tryna keep ya on your toes

Player 2: Clearly

You know how many times I've almost typed thongs instead of things??

TOO MANY

Player 1: Lmao hurry up in there your Sev Elev pizza is getting cold and you slushee is melting

It's in the cup holder getting blasted by the ac but that's only gonna keep it alive for so long

Player 2: Yeah yeah I'll be out in a few I need to run to the bathroom and very calmly Not drown myself in the sink

Player 1: Aight have fun don't die

Player 2: No promises

[artreider]

Station 19 rewatch: 4x14

Going to try to do another rewatch before my family wakes up. We have a lot to do today and there is a dark cloud over the house after loaing our cat this week. Here's hoping i can get through one of my favorite episodes before they get up.

Surrera is so cute here and the whole food thing, like girl where is our payoff on this baby that was so clearly teased. Or is there another medical condition that could be blamed on her excessive eating.

Im so glad maya and andy are friends again. I loge their friendship.

I'm glad andy acknowledges that getting married doesnt fix things; but i worry that if maya and carina hit a rough patch, andy will remind maya of this conversation or use her own issues with sullivan and their marriage as an i told you so.

Danielle is beautiful but does anyone else think she lost weight, random question but just looking at her in her uniform there she seems smaller and it worries me. Didnt really notice last time i watched this episode but am i alone in this.

Oh carina baby you so dont want to go. I just want to hug you.

Jack is so cute, he deserves a family so much but i really do fear he'll be killed off.

Im surprised ben reached out to Sullivan instead of dean.

I love this outfit on maya. Carina your girl is flirting with you and thinking of happier times, engage with her.

I love that maya opens up with carina about her dad and the protests and the happenings in the world with him. It shows so much growth and im here for it. Also anyone else annoyed that one carina answered gabriella's phone call when maya is opening up to her and two that she didnt turn it off for their last few hours together.

The look of like disappointment/devestation on maya's face when carina answers the call and walks away from her is too much hurt.

So sad that bailey isnt there and that ben is alone for even a second of this.

I'm glad andy and sullivan came to be there with ben. Like i get why they wanted andy but im sad after ben and Dean's episode dean wasnt there.

Oh jack, i dont even know what to say besides oh jack lol.

The drama with trash girl is too much lmao. I know its important for jack/inara but its just too much.

Carina packing up her knives being a trigger for maya like she's leaving forever is heartbreaking.

Carina snapping at maya hurts, dont be mean to baby. Also the kitchen sign is totally carina's doing and though she hadnt confided in maya yet that she is her home its a dead giveaway.

I really need screen grabs of the changing words on the sign.

The kids talk, the coming out talk and the marriage talk are all things that should not be done while packing or doing anything else.

Wait it totally sounded like she said "it felt pregnant" lmao or i just have babies on the brain.

Now carina being flirty and maya not reciprocating.

Maya you shouldve pushed the marriage talk now if it was what you really wanted. Instead of letting carina drop the i never wanted to get married bomb and walk away.

Andy and ben together, this friendship is beautiful. I feel like it took several seasons for ben to really get in good the team. Im trying to think of other moments besides the prt support and such when he really connected with folks before this season and none come to mind. He has been an outlier from my memory, tell me im wrong with examples please.

Lmao "you slept with my wife which means we are in a pod", things a pandemic makes funny.

Thats just wrong, giving gibson shit still. Dont hit the puppy with the newspaper when he's doing nothing wrong.

Once again with gabriella, seriously carina turn off your phone and be present with maya and maya alone.

Maya's jealousy is everything. This argument ugh, so good and just the tip of the iceberg.

I hope that maya does take the month break and the months after to really get to know the us immigration system and what it will take for carina to become an american citizen as well as learn more italian. I dont need her fluent but id love to see her use some italian with carina. She lost her brother who she spoke to in her native tongue itd be nice for her to gain that in her wife.

I love how carina stops herself as she raises her voice at maya, like she realizes it may be triggering to maya. I really do think the show and actresses put in a lot in this episode to show how well they know each other and have grown. I feel like they talk more even if we dont see it and maya is working on her issues with carina's love and support. I also do love how this argument ends though ;)

Once again maya opening up and finally carina is there and not sidetracked. And its nice carina opens up as well.

Ben's dream with the different versions of himself and his mom is funny and heartbreaking.

Joey in the dream lmao.

The nice thing about ben is if he gets hurt on the job and cant be a firefighter anymore he has other professions to fall back on.

Oh jack. I just want you to get your happy ending.

I still think its so weird to be talking about jack after they had sex but im glad they are in a place that is so comfortable and can laugh about him.

Once again another bomb dropped, kids. This is something that needs to be discussed properly.

Oh maya dont drop the marriage bomb like that. And i guess i dont underatand the outrage of the "just because", like why would carina think it was anything but that when it was dropped on her like that and after she said she didnt want to get married. This fight is so much about misunderstandings and hurtful comments.

I get how maya's fear gets the best of her here especially after carina said they just moved in together because they didnt want to be apart (asif that is a bad thing) and it was bureaucracy.

And i can understand why maya's fear hurts carina but they both needed to take a minute to breathe and try to talk it out.

I do like when carina tells maya to breathe, again like she knows her triggers and feels maya is on the verge of a panic attack.

If carina felt she married maya when she moved in i really dont see the harm in making it official. Would her having been moved out in italy for 6 months or more have felt like a divorce. I really need to know more about her logic here.

I agree why not just do it.

You've both said enough carina. I hate that she just walks away, so un carina like.

How did jack end up at the hospital? Was he called or what?

Andy is such a good friend this episode, checking on everyone.

Gabriella is so right noone wants to be proposed to the way maya kind of did. Like i cant help but wonder how carina would've taken a true proposal.

Im so glad gabriella spoke some truth to carina and turned her around on the marriage idea.

If we let the wrong decisionss rule how we live our lives things in the world would be so different. Less babies possibly and fewer marriages among other things.

Once again andy being a good friend this episode.

If carina hadnt shown up im curious what maya's next move wouldve been after talking to andy.

Love the proposal and love how its carina who announces they are getting married.

[kekisu]

TOP 5 CHARAS AND 5 REASONS WHY YOU LIKE THEM GO GO GO

AHHHH OKAY OKAY. I LITERALLY LIT UP WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA THANK YOU SO MUCH ah okay. i hope its ok if i leave it to just one or two of my fav things about them though cause NFHBGDF I DONT WANT THIS TO BE MILES LONG i hope you understand!!!!!

1. LIGHT YAGAMI

now. i dont think anybodys surprised. MFKSKFMFMHNGJN honestly, though i dont care about death note much at all anymore, hes like gum stuck to my shoe and i just cannot get him off no matter what i do. i tell myself that i dont give a fuck about anything in death note until i see him on my dash and i go apeshit. hes completely changed me and how i approach analyzing complex characters. i think hes the first character that ive ever actually cared about in that sense? the sense where i look into every detail about him i mean. its really just so fun...

my absolute favorite thing about him... i really love how funny he is. this isnt to say hes a humorous guy im saying hes funny as in he makes such stupid decisions and its hilarious to see him struggle so hard constantly. the entire ending of death note is fucking insane it sends me into laughing fits every time. theres so many funny moments in death note despite it being considered a psychological horror animanga because of him being a genuine fucking idiot 24/7. hes supposed to be a genius but he truly does lack so much self awareness sometimes.

if you wanna know more of my thoughts in depth, i have an analysis of him here that you can check out :) ID LOVE FEEDBACK ON IT so if you disagree with me or have questions etc feel free to shoot an ask and ill try to answer!!!!!

2. GORO AKECHI

god... hes perfect. he and light are on the same level of favoritism for me, dont let the numbers fool you. hes hands down my absolute favorite in persona 5 and it blows my mind knowing that the majority of the fandom feels the exact opposite or are torn over him ITS ALMOST FRUSTRATING because its mostly due to the amount of misinformation/mischaracterization spread about him!!!! but no he just happens to be the best written character in that piece of shit of a game! MFDKDHNGJJ AND PERSONA FANS CANT COMPREHEND GOOD WRITING

my favorite thing about him.. i love how hes written. and i know this sounds really basic and predictable, but its the truth i just really love his growth as a character, especially in royals third semester when he gets a chance to properly shine and oh my god! did he shine! hes literally so perfect in 3rd sem

theres just something so captivating about an angry teenager who truly thinks of his life as worthless and doesnt bother making bonds with others because of it who suddenly finds himself questioning his choices of self isolation when he finally meets a group of people he can resonate with and feel seen by. a group of people who are willing to reach out and listen to him despite his past mistakes. theres just something so perfect about seeing that same angry teenager want to take his life into his own hands and strive to grow... that same angry teenager who didnt value his own life start to see meaning in things because of bonds...

i love goro so so much he makes me so emotional if it isnt obvious enough NGFHGDGBDFH I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT. i think about him healing so much.

(btw im working on an analysis for him atm thats similar to lights so! stay tuned for that dropping when its done in like a million years NFHFBGFHDBGHF)

3. AKIRA KURUSU

DAMN 2 PERSONA 5 CHARACTERS IN A ROW

OKAY SO i know Technically akira is supposed to be a blank slate silent protagonist but let me tell you THATS SO FAR FROM WHAT HE ACTUALLY IS. IM NEVER FORGIVING ATLUS FOR TRYING TO SHOVE HIM INTO THE SILENT PROTAG BOX AND NOT LETTING HIM BE HIS OWN CHARACTER! BECAUSE HE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE AMAZINGGGGG ugh sorryfor caps im so fuckng mad MKDFKMGMHMGMG

it really does get on my nerves how because of atlus trying to make him a silent protag, the majority of the p5 fandom sees him as that. blank slate. nothing. when in reality he very much has a ton of spunk and id argue that hes his own character entirely if you just look a little deeper past the surface Like... its not even that hard to see personality in him. beneath the mask is literally his theme song, have you Not seen the lyrics to that? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE THEME OF THE GAME? this little dude is so traumatized and angry at those who wronged him (aka the justice system! shitty adults!) and people have the nerve to say hes the worst persona protagonist? lmfao

my favorite thing about akira is how he looks like a cat and how cocky and annoying he can be.. he is such a jokester hes the absolute dumbest. i enjoy this silly guy. *holds him under the armpits like a longcat*

4. SHIGEO KAGEYAMA

ahhh mob. he makes me do this -> :)

mp100, of course, changed my fucking life. mp100 is the reason i am the way i am and though all the characters are incredibly relatable and memorable and i cherish them so dearly, i, like most people, cherish mob the absolute most. seriously his strength really is incredible and though hes just a fictional character he is so inspiring and i wish to carry as much gentleness in my heart as he does.

im so so proud of him on his development he started off so.. i wouldnt say he was weak, but i would say that he lacked experience. he lived in his own little bubble not knowing what the world was like and throughout the story he grew to learn so much.. he learned to make such. mature decisions at such a young age. hes so so wise. hes so powerful not only because of his psychic powers but because of his compassion for others. he can befriend even the worst of people...

my favorite thing about him is his determination to become the best version of himself he can be. and also his relationship with ritsu (not me, i mean ritsu kageyama <3) i always gravitate towards siblings in fiction because im an only child and well <3 i dont experience that. so i like projecting onto them GHBFBBHFG they care so much for each other.. sniffle sniffle

5. RYO ASUKA

ok im going to be real even though im into devilman i dont have much of a reason to enjoy him this much. i just think hes hilarious and really cool and his satan form gives me gender envy. i love it when he commits random easily avoidable acts of violence for no reason at all its just because he wants to. and thats just fine. i think he can kill people and get away with it because hes ryo asuka. gay rights

[thebibliomancer]

Archaia’s Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance #12

The Journey into the Mondo Levidian Part 4

In this installment, they do not journey into the Mondo Levidian at all. Maybe this should have been titled Into the Guts and Back Again: A Gelfling’s Tale.

In part one, newly All-Maudra’d Mayrin deals with a Sifan separatist crisis but also plenty of unresolved mother-induced insecurity issues. She charters a ride with Captain Kam’Lu to speak to the separatist leader Fenth but a sea monster sinks the ship.

In part two, Mayrin and Kam’Lu are adrift at sea on a raft following the sinking but then they get eaten by a sea monster. The two meet the monster gut dwelling Boblings and learn that they have a limited time before the Mondo Levidian returns to the deeps and then there’ll be no escape for a trine. With the Bobling King’s daughter Gunda, the two set off on a journey out of the Mondo Levidian.

In part three, Mayrin, Kam’Lu, and Gunda set off on a journey to the Mondo Levidian’s porticol and fight a lot of Zoa. Mayrin and Kam’Lu become friends on the basis of name-shortening. And Mayrin flies Kam’Lu out of the closing porticol to save him from Zoa and prove her mom wrong.

So they’re out of the giant fish so what more is left of the story at this point? The answer is beneath the keep reading.

So let’s get started!

Dot arrives on SkekSa’s totally sweet monster/ship which she is very proud of.

SkekSa: “Greetings and welcome to the greatest behemoth in the Silver Sea, Ambassador Dot’leth! You’re aboard an unstoppable ship built with Skeksis ingenuity. Does our mastery of nature itself make you tremble in awe?”

Dot: “I assume you mean the second greatest behemoth in the Silver Sea, considering the attack on the Sifan ship that cost the lives of All-Maudra Mayrin and Captain Kam’Lu --”

SkekSa: “Well, yes, that was reported... but the captain of this ship has yet to find any proof of the alleged creature that destroyed the Sifan ship.”

Now, at first blush, this seems like SkekSa slipping up and accidentally admitting culpability like Prince Humperdinck in Princess Bride and his fastest ships.

But when the Mondo Levidian emerges from underwater, SkekSa goes from ‘what the heck’ to ‘i WANT that.’

SkekSa: “Second-greatest behemoth in the sea... bah! What does that ignorant old Vapran know about the sea! The only monsters here are --”

Mondo Levidian: -emerges-

SkekSa: “Oh. What other secrets are hiding in this infernal world...?”

And

SkekSa: “It’s been many trine since SkekSa discovered such a wonder -- and a majestic creature such as this deserves a naming ceremony! Vassa... You will be mine! The Mariner sails only the greatest creature -- er, ship -- in all of Thra!”

I had been assuming that the Mondo Levidian attack was a conspiracy by SkekSa to seize power for her preferred Gelfling clan. But it seems like it was just crazy random happenstance that she and Fenth got opportunistic over.

Also, holy crap, Dot has a full name?

And Fenth and Dot are implied to have History, being a little awkward around each other.

Over on top of the sea monster, Mayrin and Kam’Lu discover that the Zoa (led by the Zoa wearing clothes. The Necrozoa?) are following them up and out of the porticol. Mayrin and Kam’Lu have to take to the air again to try to escape to SkekSa’s ship.

Watching all of this happen, SkekSa settles on ‘bored of this.’

SkekSa: “New plan. SkekSa doesnt’ care anymore about your Gelfling squabbles.”

Fenth: “But...! But....! You said I could have power! We had a deal!”

SkekSa: “And SkekSa is bored of politics. I want that creature. I will be unstoppable, and all of Thra will be mine to explore! Entire lands waiting to be named -- named after me!”

I kind of like that SkekSa’s priorities are 1) Giant monsters, 2) Naming a lot of shit after herself, 3) The Sifan, I guessss. 2.5) is probably ‘ugh Skeksis politics uuugh.’

Mayrin manages to lead most of the Zoa swarm in front of the Mondo Levidian which jumps up and eats them.

She lands on the deck of SkekSa’s ship and has a moment with Kam’Lu.

This very good friendship has just become a kissing relationship.

It has been a hell of an enemies to lovers for them, huh?

The remaining Zoa and the Zoa-in-clothes, identified as being a queen Zoa? land on SkekSa’s dreadnought and Mayrin declares that the Zoa stand before a United Thra “Vapran courage and Sifan honor!” and for the Zoa to turn back or be destroyed.

Then there’s a massive Zoa vs Gelfling fight scene with SkekSa yelling for them to get off her ship.

I adore her.

Fenth gets upset that Mayrin is uniting the Sifa and Vapra and decides ‘hey, all kinds of things can happen in the heat of combat’ and throws an entire ass sword at Mayrin’s back.

But Kam’Lu blocks the attack with the goo shield (which he evidently kept). And its a bit of a broken pedestal moment considering Kam’Lu’s personality in issue one was ‘hey did you hear this cool stuff Fenth is saying??’

Kam’Lu: “Vile traitor! I trusted you! I believed in your lies and your wisdom! I thought you would lead us to something better... But you are the poison to all Gelfling-kind -- a poison I can no longer willingly imbibe!”

Good for you, Kam’Lu.

The war against the bugs ends when Mayrin stabs the queen Zoa in the eye and yells a defiant speech to her.

Mayrin: Queen, I am not one for violence -- But I will resort to it if I must! I will do whatever is necessary to save my kind -- just like you. We are the same! Please! Turn away! Turn away and end this needless bloodshed!”

And the queen Zoa does.

Whether actually moved or cowed by Mayrin’s speech or because she’s smart enough not to go in for sunk cost, the queen and the remaining Zoa take off.

Good job, Mayrin.

Although, it is funny that you tried to sue for peace when you earlier described the queen Zoa as “a monster filled with blind hate, resentment, and beastly rage. Something born in the pit of despair and darkness... Something that knows only hunger and power.”

But it won’t be the first time that Gelfling were way off in regards to the Arathim slash offshoots, nor the last.

Still, it feels right that the final boss of Mayrin’s plot was a giant monster queen wearing her mother’s clothes that she fends off by confidently telling to buzz off.

Fenth tries to blame the whole situation on Mayrin for leading the bugs to the ship, which is technically true. But Kam’Lu has become Mayrin’s biggest supporter because the boy believes with all his heart.

Kam’Lu: “You’re wrong! Mayrin is here because she had to save us at all costs! She is here because she is fighting to keep the seven clans together! She has been through a bizarre adventure, struggling through the stomach of monsters unknown!”

“I was just like Fenth -- I distrusted Mayrin because she was a Vapran. But Mayrin has saved my life too many times to count. She proved her strength in the toothrakes! She outwitted the horrifying King Bobling! She fought bravely and earned the respect of the greatest warrior of Bajula! She is what the Sifa clan needs. What all Gelfling need! In the darkness of the Mondo Leviadin, Mayrin led the way. I believe in her.”

“LONG LIVE ALL-MAUDRA MAYRIN!”

“And I swear, from this day to my last, when my body is taken by Thra, that I will fight for her -- by her side. As her friend... Her captain... Her...”

And then he trails off there because Mayrin holds his hand and the poor boy only has so much processing power.

Also, he kinda embellished Mayrin’s accomplishments by saying she outwitted the “horrifying” Bobling King. That guy was a kitten.

The Sifan Maudra is intrigued by all this love biz and asks Mayrin what she would do if the Sifans do decide to leave the clans.

Mayrin: “If we are to separate, then the seas will weep for the lonely Sifa clan. The mountains of Ha’rar will shake in the bitter Vapran gales. We must be the shining light of Thra -- together!”

“We are the living monuments of everything that touches us, be it the good and warm that gives us hope... or the malice and greed that drives us down darker paths. And... I wear my mother’s colors. I know it. I feel it -- I accept it. But I am not my mother.”

“I promise that I will bleed for you! I will fight for you! I will break my body in half to ensure that you have yours! To sail the sea as you see fit! So please, give me the chance to prove it to you! Give me the chance to fail and to succeed! if you do... Perhaps we may all grow old together -- knowing what unity is meant to be... knowing what love is --”

WOO!

Fenth is less than thrilled. Not just for his thwarted ambitions but because SkekSa has thoroughly gotten sick of him and is probably annoyed that she had to sit through all these speeches without even getting a giant sea monster.

She grabs him and drags him away through the crowd while everyone is distracted being jubilant.

SkekSa: “Take a long look at the Silver Sea, Fenth -- It will be many trine before you witness it again... Skeksis friend SkekTek the Scientist has plans for Gelfling who fail!”

Huh. Wonder what that means. This is way too soon for draining to be on the table.

Later, WEDDING TIME!

On the cliff above Raunip’s pass, the Sifan and Vapran come together for the wedding of Mayrin and Kam’Lu.

Dot assumes that Mayrin chose the venue so she can fly Raunip’s Pass with the power of love but Mayrin chose the venue so she can deliberately not do that because she’s done following her mom’s path.

Mayrin: “You have taught me the most important thing, Kam’Lu -- that I am the only one responsible for the path I fly. That we must all chart our own path -- and that we cannot do that when the dense cloud of grief fogs our vision. And that to be my best self -- no matter who it is that I am -- I must be myself. Faults and failures and scars and all. Understanding that acceptance is not the same as failure. We must think of the future of our kind.”

Its also implied that Mayrin is already pregnant as she declares that she’ll name her firstborn Seladon, after Mayrin’s mother.

... It is incredibly ironic. Mayrin declares that she’s going to set her own path and then chooses her mother’s name for her daughter. The daughter that she’s going to repeat a lot of Seladon I’s parenting mistakes with, giving Seladon II a whopping case of insecurity and unfortunately no character building adventure with a hunky sea captain.

Hm. I wonder what happens with Kam’Lu. That whole family situation probably would have been less of a timebomb with him around. Alas, the sea is a harsh mistress. Full of fish and salt.

So, the last arc of Archaia’s Jim Henson’s Dark Crystal Age of Resistance comics. I still have two of the YA novels to read but with the cancellation of the show, who can say when there will be more comics.

But the comic ends strong. We visit another parent when they’re young and get to see more wild Thra life. We get to see SkekSa! She’s a delight. We get to see another side of the Sifan than the brief appearances in the show.

Thanks for the good times, Archaia’s Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance comic.

[coolgirl]

Hey what's Jason's relationship with nocturna? It's the first time I've heard of her😣 and nothing on her wikia mentioned anything about Jason. She seems interesting character and I would like to know more about her.

okay I went. A little insane. Here's a retelling of her pre crisis arc, long as hell  

(this part covers Batman #529 / Detective Comics #363 / Batman #530) ok for some context: it’s pre crisis, meaning this Jason was also a circus boy. He has recently lost his parents, and was taken by Bruce, but isn’t dealing with the loss well, finding himself missing his past life. PLUS Bruce isn’t allowing him to be his partner, and that has him sad as well. 

SO he wants to go back to the circus, since hes lonely and directionless etc.

NOW. ENTER NATALIA KNIGHT! Shes a villain, think.. Catwoman meets Poison Ivy? She’s a thief, but seduces men to do the stealing mostly. 

Her backstory is basically that she was an orphan living in the streets, and met who will then become his adoptive parent Charles Knight when she was 12. When she’s already an adult, Charles gets killed, and she finds out he had big money bags bc he was a criminal. and she said. awn man i like being rich. well. time to do crimes.

she’s rlly into the night and the stars (she was the head of the observatory, which Bruce was funding through his company or w/e)

anyways. she gets away, Jason helps bruce find her (but! bruce wouldnt le him help which rlly hurt jason), and as her and her partner anton are getting away (again) batman catches up to them, but only manages to bring anton to justice, while Nocturna escapes in like. one of those giant balloons idk whats the name

the issue ends with Nocturna/Natalia sending Bruce money for the maintenance of the observatory and with Jason deciding to leave

NOW onto the next part. So in this issue we have Jason escaping home, Bruce going to court against Natalia’s partner Anton, and Natalia just vibing around, and she happens to find Jason running away from home, and they have a conversation in which she tries to convince him to go back home.

but Jason. well.

So Bruce gets back home and Alfred tells him about Jason running away, and bruce, in real bruce fashion, is all like ughg i shouldve listened to him.. well lets go get him. and alfred is like. sir. do i have to remind u u arent his legal guardian yet. u have no right to decide where he stays.

so bruce is like ugh fine. i’ll go patrol then. which he does, and turns out Nocturna was trying to help Anton escape, and well it fails, and she gets captured too. 

and that’s that for Natalia… for now ;)

NOW. this isn’t relevant for Natalia & Jason but again some context. Covers um  covers fuck a bunch of issues. SO. what happens in this time

jason goes back to the circus but is deeply unhappy

he’s still doing detective work. hasnt seen bruce or alfred in a while

alfred visits

case stuff case stuff case stuff it was the clown all along

Jason ends up helping Bruce, since they were both working the same case separately, and they make up

NOW. a lot of shit happens not relevant to nocturna. Jason isnt robin for a while, then he uses Dicks costume, then bruce gets mad at him for that bc its not his costume, so jason uses his own costume, then dick gives him the robin costume, so jason becomes robin. um stuff stuff happens and all it matters is the panel below.

NOW! BACK TO NOCTURNA! 

her comeback arc kinda starts in batman #374, where this lady is like hold on.. bruce wayne isnt jasons legal guardian wtf, is he even fit to have a kid?

so she starts digging around, asking questions 

and shes like yea this is real fishy, give me that kid

so bruce and jason try to behave like uh yes no robin and batman business. let that kid be a kid.

but welp.

and so.. Jason is taken away :( and both of them are heartbroken :( 

but u know what! bruce wayne is one stubborn fucker! and he will fight to have the legal guardianship!

and even if they’re not living together anyomre they’re still the dynamic duo in a way, which like. lol. this lady took this kid away bc she was worried about him but he still ran away.. tch tch tch.

they’re both rlly depressed about the situation

AND THATS WHAT U MISSED ON GLEE!!

NOW. SHES BACK. look at this epic cover

shes now parterning w a dude named nightshade or smth, and he like. rlly wants to hit that, but shes like um pause ⏸️✋my love is the night. the dude, like every other man, is like so im not getting anything from this? fuck u, and leaves. shes like whatevers, ugh how annoying i dont have a partner again & anton is still in prison… &  while shes again chilling she finds out about Bruce trying to legally adopt jason & recognizes jason from the time they talked

& goes to visit him

and theres also this dude, whos not rlly relevant for now, will try to stop bruce from adopting jason which will be relevant later hehe (there's a whole subplot with him and bullock but like it's not rlly relevant to Jason n Natalia) (shrug emoji)

and so. Bruce finds out..

and so the cover becomes a reality, Bruce and Natalia WILL fight in a chuck n cheese parking lot to become Jason’s parent.. and Natalia may try to pull a reverse card on Bruce

and well. Bruce rlly has no chance now does he? and turns out Jason wants this to happen since hes convinced he can unreveal Natalia’s secrets from the inside

and a lil sweet moment between father & son

and then a moment with Amanda, who, in my opinion, did nothing wrong ever

meanwhile Anton comes back, tells Nocturna he killed the dude that was bothering her, and she gets PISSSSEDD OFF shes like u TARNISHED the night by SPILLING BLOOD, u absolute BEAST, Bruce gets there, some weird stuff happens that aged rlly poorly, then Nocturna stabs Anton to save Bruce, turns out she knows hes batman, again shes like marry me to have our son (Jason) and hes like no! and leaves. While Bruce tries to find Anton, Jason is like ive HAD IT i wanna go out, but Natalia stops him

then the next morning Amanda gets her head straight and talks to Jason

but well Jason is hellbent on exposing Natalia from the inside or w/e, and eventually she gets the custody, even if Amanda tries to convince him and the judge Bruce is a better choice (since she noticed Jason clearly favors him and was in pain when he wasnt at the wayne manor)

and everyone is coddling Bruce which im adding bc its cute and i miss this relationship Bruce had with Vicki and Julia 

MEANWHILE, at the knight house. mad hatter is a a weird creepy rat bastard n tries to get control of Natalia & get the information of her brain or smth. Batman gets there & we get a Batman vs Controlled nocturna fight and then Robin also arrives and its Batman & Robin vs Nocturna, but B tells Jason to focus on getting Mad Hatter, which he does and then gets Nocturna back to normal whatever, and she again asks Bruce to marry her, which hes again like no thank u! the issue ends with this page which is rlly sweet imo

next up Anton is back but it doesnt matter rlly. a woman is tending to him, n because shes blind hes like. im batman. yeah. and she believes it. 

AND then Jason is formally adopted by Natalia

Jason is still trying to find proof that shes evil, and they share a moment. 

but jason is like. gotta fight crime! and so Natalia is like well i tried. wanna go be robin a bit?

Batman & Robin go after mad hatter, and then Nocturna joins them bc shes epic

and takes jay home bc its a school night smh

Natalia & Jason spend some time together but Jason still doesn’t warm up to Natalia which like. makes sense since shes a villain and all that, but she tries nevertheless

and then everyones most hated bitch comes back (Yes, anton) n he attacks Natalia, and then Jason when he hears the ruckus and goes to help

but gets a chop

but! Bruce was just on his way to visit them so 

fight fight bruce gets shot in the head n gets amnesia and thinks the dude anton shot & killed was him

Anton swaps their costumes n makes Bruce believe that Anton is batman not him? or smth

afterwards Jason blames himself

and him & Natalia team up to find Bruce which includes.. carrying a corpse around

for three days (well. nights) anton just runs around stealing n shit dressed as batman, n bruce is. literally chilling on a rooftop. alfred is losing his mind bc !? jason hasnt contacted him!? about what happened!? but Julia comes home and comforts him

gotham is a lil in chaos with gordon vicki vale n bullock being suspicious, and the girl who was helping anton finds the stuff he stole and realizes hes not batman.

on the fourth night Jason n Natalia find Anton

n they fight him

but Anton gets the upper hand w Nocturna so Jason jumps in to defend her

and then Nocturna defends Jason bc thats his baby

but Anton doesnt get like. killed w that ofc, and hes like fuck u i’ll kill u one day but when the kid isnt here and after batman has fallen, bye (throws jason from building)

and Natalia reagroup n well.. some things are said

bc like even if Nocturna is helping shes a villain.. right? (thinking emoji)

meanwhile Bruce finally got his mind back. not important. who cares. the lady who was helping Anton goes to the police to tell them about Anton/fake batman dun dun dun. but Anton finds out and knocks out the policeman who went w the girl (Tina!) to check for proof n shit.

and guess whos back! amanda!

back to new dynamic duo

so Jason the little rascal (can i say hes a rascal when hes doing the hero thing n trying to expose a criminal?) goes looking for proof that Natalia is Nocturna n stuff, and finds some stolen things

1. singsonging.. hes such a little shit lmaoo, 2. she was worried… pause…

anyways. they have a confrontation 

in which Natalia swears shes reformed, but Jason doesnt buy it, and is like. im gonna get gordon! and Natalia is like.. do what u think is best

but. he can’t do it..

n hes like. well shes not bad anymore.. i wish i could go back to bruce without sending her to prison which… please development..  n natalia DOES want his love..

AND THEN! BRUCE IS BACK! and he teams up with Nocturna to find Anton, but its just their luck Amanda sees them

they do sm stuff not relevant and then Bruce is like go back to ur son now, and Natalia is like.. OUR son :)

well whatever whatever they get Anton, Bruce goes back to being Batman, they clear his reputation, Jason goes back to the manor since Amanda saw Natalia, etc

(he munches he crunches) also im gonna add this that isnt relevant bc its just so funny, buenos dias alfred

anyways stuff hapens, like idk 14 issues without nocturna, the most important bit that happened is that selina is back. which she was gone. yeah. but shes back and around.

ANYWAYS! 15 issues later! shes back! some dudes entered her old observatory n were vandalizing and she was like hold up

meanwhile we have Jason calling amanda bc he well.. misses his mom and as much as he loves bruce and hes his dad its not the same for some reason

jason in every universe: i miss my mom i want my mom :(

at school Jason overheards some kids talking about Natalia in the observatory

Jason goes looking for Natalia n turns out Bullock was also trying to see what was happening in the observatory, so they kinda team up for two whole panels to find her

but Jason is like im not telling u shit.. n goes w Natalia on his own

google always taking pics

n they share a moment ;_____;

n theyre reunited.. now ur gonna have to excuse me bc i didnt download the high quality of the next tec issues n all the download links are sadly broken

but… what about natalia?

then bullock finds them

well bullock lets her go n while retelling the stuff to gordon he has.. a theory

meanwhile Nocturna.. well Nocturna is back at it again, taking charge of a band of thieves.. sigh. 

anyways, they talk, theres something weird happening w the sky that may mean the world is ending or smth, and they make up AND make out

n they have a talk thats basically like. what now? should we be together? well depends if ur still gonna steal. i need funds to get the observatory back in track (HELLO BRUCE IS RICH HE COULD PAY IT..) and hes like oh so ur gonna be a thief again.. and shes like well havent u noticed im only stealing from corrupt rich politicians!? (QUEEN) n theres this gorgeous shot

n then they go their separate ways bc its fucking batman

anyways. Selina was also investigating the group of thieves (that were like black masks old gang but he was sent to prison so Nocturna took over etc) and she sees Nocturna leaving and follows her to the Observatory but.. Jason is there too

Selina wants her GOOOONE she needs to clear her name but Jason is like. over my dead body

n well ……. the girls are fightinggggggggggggggggggggggggg

but Bruce intercepts

n now Batman n Catwoman fight and its like the girls are fightingggggg… 2! but doesnt matter look at them

and then Selina gets struck by lightning

n then theres a earthquake bc god what a damn comic, and the observatory collapses, and Natalia is trapped inside

anyways Selina is in the hospital, Anton is still killing people and knows where she is and is trying to get to her, and this little scene happens with Jason n B

n while Bruce stays with Selina Jason goes to find Natalia which is so funny like. she went to Natalia, his mom, when Bruce told him to go home and well– we al know that story.

n now its a race to get to Natalia before Anton gets to her

n its rlly sad bc like Natalia is ready to die

n 

but both Bruce n Jason are trying to reach her

and here comes Jason!

AND LIKE. the fact she wants to live after all bc of Jason rlly makes me emotional not gonna lie! not gonna lie!

and no offense but a mother’s love………………………………….. no thoughts head empty

first of all i hate anton so fucking much. secondly here comes batdad..

n Jason tries to help Natalia escape and then get back to Bruce who is getting his ass kinda kicked

guess whos coming in that helicopter.. selina freaking kyle.. the legend.. and she helps Bruce with Anton. 

I REALLY DONT GET THIS TBH LIKE. he puts her into the giant balloon so she can get away but like shes hurt buddy shes gonna die up there.. 

and. shes gone.

n Jason is absolutely devastated

n like. Bruce. as always. is like ok champ i see u got it in control, lmk when u wanna go home

LIKE HES SO SAD.. OF COURSE HES SAD THAT WAS HIS MOM....

And thats. pretty much it. Natalia is gone. 

However Jason still grieves her, and when Bruce and Selina are trying to get back together and... hes not a big fan of their relationship.. at all. But bruce tries to pair them up so they can become at least friends, since he loves them both and doesnt want to like. pick between his son and his lover

and they make a fine team, even if Jason grieving Natalia and how Selina doesnt want to take her place is brought up a couple times :(

and it gives it a bittersweet ending to the arc

and well. thats it. thats the Jason and Natalia dynamic.

Natalia reappers later post crisis but well w/o her connection to Jason.. and i really dont wanna talk about the version of her that appears in batwoman comics LOL.  

conclusion: natalia was a bad lady, who at first wanted to use jason to get money from bruce, but then she had a change of heart, and development and became a kind of anti hero? well not antihero just.. she was trying her best man. i wish she hadnt disappeared like she couldve stayed relevant to jasons story without having to be romantically with bruce? bc if u read her comics u can see that she was killed off/voided for batcat to comeback which... typical batcat! anyways. i think she genuinely loved and cared for jason and that jason loved her and cared for her right back :( 

[bunnyriviere]

my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

[pbandjesse]

I honestly cant believe today it over. The last couple days just really flew by. It was a good couple days but this just means I start my new job tomorrow! Wild. 

I did get to see the moon last night. The way the moon path goes I can lay in bed around 11 and see the moon for almost an hour. Its great. 

And I did sleep well. The extra hour of sleep was very nice. And while I didnt wake up at 715 like I wanted, waking up at 9 allowed me to feel a lot better. Though I was sad I only vaguely remembered saying goodbye to James. 

I got up and got showered and dressed. My skin is looking great and I only have a few more days of the one. So I wont have to shower so much anymore. I will probably still take the double showers some days, but its a little exhausting honestly. 

I felt cute and good today though. I liked my outfit. I love wearing tights. It was rainy and grey and I was just in a good mood. 

I spent the morning playing animal crossing and starting to post on the new store instagram. I am pretty excited. I have already made 3 sales. Jess may back out of the whole thing. There have been some technical issues and she just doesnt really want to deal with it. But I am having a good time at least. I am going to post a few things every day for the next few weeks and make things as I go. But so far I have had great feedback. 

I had a good time playing animal crossing too because its a new month! Last night when James got home we played together for the first time in a while and doing all the halloween stuff was fun. Handing out candy and things. But now halloween is over, so I am picking up most of the pumpkins, in favor of the new mushrooms you can grow. I am going to leave the decorations up for a while longer as we collect more christmasy things. But I am excited by new things so thats pretty great. 

Around 11 I decided to go for a drive. It was raining but not to bad. But of course as soon as I left the house it started pouring. I went back upstairs to get a raincoat and then I was off. 

As I waited at the light to get on the highway, a homeless man asked for change. I did not have change so I gave him the $5 bill I had and he was super nice to me. We talked for a minute while the light was red. Someone had shot him with a paintball gun last night. I felt so bad. Then he asked me where I was from because I had an accent! I always think thats funny when people say that. James says I have a dialect for sure, and its my diction as well. Neat. 

I went out to savers. Driving was a bit scary. Despite all the work on the car, the little traction light is still coming on. Ugh. But I made it to the thrift store in one piece. 

I had a nice time walking around there. I got an amazing lobster rug and a piece of fabric. But the best find was for James. I finally found slippers for him! Except they arent just slippers, they are grey name brand Uggs. For $10. And they fit him! Amazing. So proud of myself for that one. 

I wandered around for a while though. Enjoyed my time out. Not as many weird things today. But a nice walk around. 

When I was done there I went and got lunch across the street. Continued to listen to a podcast. And then went to get some snack based groceries. 

That was a nice time. Thinking about things to put in my lunch this week. Had fun looking at the christmas stuff they are starting to put out. 

I was only very annoyed when I went to my car. Because the cart I was using locked its wheels about 30 feet from my far!! I was still in the parking lot!! Stupid cart. I had to put it in the little cart shelter and then carry all my stupid things to the car. In the rain. So then I was both wet and hot. 

I drove home. Had some issues because of 3 separate accidents that had 83 very very backed up. Making single lanes each time, but of course it was not in the same lane. 

But I still got home soon enough. 

I brought in some of my stuff. Left the heavy things in there. And did some putting away. Some cleaning. Some playing with sweetp. Helping Jess with some google issues and working on some store stuff. I got a little upset by a comment she made about how she would have given up a while ago if I wasnt so excited about the store. And like. Yeah Ive felt that from you. I told her she didnt need to do it with me, but she said she has made a lot of masks already so shes going to. But like. It makes it hard for me to feel good about being excited about something when someone says stuff like that. So I dont know what will happen on her end but I am going to keep going and try to not let it bother me. 

I decided to go for a walk. I went over to walgreens and got nail polish. And when I got home James was here! Hello boyfriend. 

We hung out for a while. And then he made me a taco. Except when he heated up the tortilla, sweetP jumped on the counter and melted his whiskers and got his face singed. I was so upset. He doesnt seem hurt at all but his face was all curly and his chin and chest are burnt. I trimmed it a bit and cleaned him off with a wet paper towel. Im more upset when he is for sure. But still. 

James felt really bad. But it wasnt anyone's fault. It all just happened really fast. 

After dinner James had trivia. I decided not to participate this week. Instead I decided to cut my hair. I put it in two pig tails and chopped off 4 inches of hair. I got a cute bob now. Very nice for the fall. 

Once I finished cleaning up my hair I took a bath. Relaxed. It was a nice time. 

I laid in bed and watched videos for a while. Then went to sit with James as the game was finishing and Lane recited Dante's amazing parody poem. And we showed off our moths. It was a goofy time. 

Now I am in bed. I am cold. James is in the shower. I am going to put a differnt sweater on and try to get to sleep quick. Because I have work tomorrow!! I dont know if I will actually have any kids. But my plan is to get to know my coworkers and set up some art bins for the kids so they dont have to share tools. I hope we eventually get some kids but not having any tomorrow will be alright. I got plans. 

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Take care of yourselves and eachother. Goodnight!

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty movie 1

sooo ruth and i watched the first hxh movie holla

me as soon as we’re done w/the yorknew arc: OH FUCKY ITS ANIME MOVIE TIME

i love anime movies. theyre so often Entertaining As Hell, and also Not Very Good. its a very fun intersection 

overall this movie slots pretty easily into that category. it was a good time but nothing revolutionary. which is ok! and that makes sense bc its not canon apparently 

this movie was basically the ‘killua and kurapika have Trauma(tm)’ movie lmao 

we open w/killua having a trauma dream abt illumi, rehashing the stuff we saw in the hunter exam arc....we see this a few more times in the movie, and it really drives home how killua is still rlly scared of illumi and kinda just goes into a dissociative trauma state whenever illumi is around (even fake doll illumi or dream illumi, in this movie). poor kid :( :( 

regrettably tho ruth and i agree that illumis outfit in this movie was pretty sexy 

ok that whole beginning part where kurapikas eyes get stolen happens SO fast hvbfhdjshfsk its like ok guess thats the status quo for this movie!

jesus poor kurapika. they cant catch a fuckgin break huh

also that kid was totally the kid that was alluded to by kurapika at the end of the yorknew arc...so i guess that was included in the anime as a setup for this movie? 

also apparently that stuff was based off of a short story thing the author did a while ago which is p cool

leorios terrible drawing skills is hvhbjsdfbsdfngsjkdf

also leorio is so tender w/kurapika hhhhhhh im gonna die. im gonna gay die

and gon and killua are just. tiny soulmate boyfriends ok 

ah yes i see the obligatory movie original character who befriends the protag

it kinda cracks me up how hostile killua is to retz like vhbhskhdfbaj i get that its bc of Trauma and his fear of betrayal/betraying but it also reads as killua being a Jealous Gay which is kinda hilarious 

ruth and i when hisoka shows up: [prolonged annoyed groaning and dismayed yelling]

hisoka literally just shows up to sow chaos and throw around information to stir shit up huh

of COURSE the villain is the former 4th spider thats like. easy choice lmao 

it might just be the fansubs but i feel like there were strong implications that hisoka and 4th spider guy fucked bhjdfashfdjnakn

the most unbelievable thing abt this whole thing is that hisoka didnt kill that doll guy lmao 

ohhh shit its uvo

OHHH SHIT NOBUNGA AND MACHI....its so bad but i really like the troupe members and when they show up im like !!!!!!!

machi is so cooooool

aughhhh its like....i feel bad for nobunga for having to face down uvo like this....and THEN when pakunoda shows up too :( and nobunga tells her doll ‘rest in peace now’ or something when he cuts her down....oof. but also like theyre evil murderers so im!?! conflicted?!?!

also the shadow beast guys that uvo killed showing up and then proceeding to do LITERALLY NOTHING was kinda hilarious

and damn so technically the troupe is on the same side as the main crew, what with all of them wanting to wreck omokages shit

also omokage looks like sephiroth lmaoooo 

ill be honest i barely know what sephiroth looks like but ruth said this and i felt in my bones that its true 

ok i gotta talk abt the kurapika backstory stuff bc OUUGHGHGHGHGH my fucking UWUS BITCH!!!!

seeing a bunch of kurta was sad....and seeing baby-er kurapika OUGH and also pairo is sooo cute and him and kurapikas friendship is so pure 

kurapika is so different :( theyre like, so much more innocent and excitable....thats so damn sad bro wtf 

pairo pulling some slick moves swapping that little potion thing - all while using his blindness as a cover - was so good...no wonder he and kurapika get along so well 

also gotta say its even more brutal that one of the main reasons kurapika didnt get Big Murdered w/the rest of the kurta is bc pairo pulled this stunt - if he hadnt, kurapika wouldve failed the test and never would have left 

also kurapika saying theyre gonna find someone who can help w/pairos eyes ;_; the similarities w/leorios backstory/motivation makes me die 

and seriously im still caught up at how innocent and pure kp is oooof ough 

tho still defs the kurapika we know....theyve seemingly always had a temper, what with the reaction to the dudes in the market 

like, kurapika did NOT hold back...even after finding out that they were just part of the test! tho i do get it bc they insulted pairo...kurapika’s love for their friends/stalwart need to defend their friends is clearly a big thing 

also the market people’s reaction to seeing kp’s red eyes is rlly interesting to me...are the kurta like, known to anybody? or are they more of a vaguely talked-about group that like, ‘probably exists’? or is it that people know abt them but not the red eyes thing? it seems like these people, if any, would know, bc this market is seemingly a day’s travel from where the kurta live....i want more kurta lore bro!!

i big love pairo helping kurapika cheat like that....such an interesting twist, and makes it obvious that theirs is a friendship of equals 

anyways i loved that flashback stuff and it just drives home how absolutely fucked up and horribly sad kurapikas whole existence is, especially in this movie w/pairo’s doll being used against them

n e ways back to the non flashback stuff

i love that gon’s super nose returned for this movie omg 

im just auhghghghgh gon and killua know each other so well uwu....

aaaand illumi (well, doll illumi) is back to fuck shit up for poor killua

ugh it still gets me how clearly terrified of illumi killua is...we dont really see him act like this any other time :( and the fact that doll-illumi was able to scare killua enough to get him to run away and leave gon behind (albeit briefly) was oof 

gon jumping in front of killua and getting his eyes stolen instead....baby boyyyy oughhh

also can i just say thank fuck they didnt replace illumis eyes w/gons bc THAT wouldve been some serious nightmare fuel lmao 

cant believe killua then ran away again and walked emo-ly on the train tracks 

and THEN he saw a train coming and was like oh well :( guess ill die :/ JESUS KID 

but gon w/his Big Sniff Powers comes to the rescue!!

it was so cute how gon told killua that killua didnt run and abandon him - they were working together to fight :’) gon understands killua so well 

i love how the squad then squads up to fight omokage...with half of them being blind lmao 

and in the half that isnt blind is leorio, who STILL doesnt know nen, and literally brings a knife to a nen fight 

i totally saw the whole ‘retz is a doll and her older brother is omokage, and retz actually died a while ago’ thing coming lol but still, not bad

all omokage does is talk abt the beauty of his dolls or w/e like ENOUGH bro 

kurapika fighting pairo and killua fighting illumi (AGAIN) was all so fucked up they shouldve switched opponents for less trauma oof 

and poor leorio is literally no help vhhvdijfhjbashkj he just gets throw around this whole time

kurapikas fight against pairo was sad bc it was such a fucked up situation...kp did gr8 tho, i liked them saying that this isnt the real pairo, cause pairo would never say/do these things. still and extremely sucky situation to be in! 

meanwhile its the gon and killua vs doll-illumi rematch...and this illumi is like, a version of illumi drawn from killuas mind/heart (or something idk, it was kinda glossed over which i understand), which means that hes extra scary and focused on telling killua how much hes just a mindless killing machine who cant have friends 

but luckily we have gon here to help snap killua out of his trauma haze, which certaintly wasnt the case at the hunter exam - so it was kinda nice to see how things went w/gon around :’) they work so well together oughhhhh....and they love each other so much broo gay preteen love real 

hisoka just fuckgin materializing in the house place to help sow more chaos....unbelievable 

me: i bet hisoka wont want to fight doll chrollo bc its not The Same as real chrollo 

ruth: no i think he will bc hes a whore 

hisoka: [fights doll chrollo] 

me: oh shit u right 

kurapika: ok omogake its time for you to FUCKING DIE- 

and then killua stops them and says that he’ll do it, be he doesnt want kurapika to kill anymore :( :( :( bro im sooo fucking sad. killua rlly b out here thinking that hes already too far gone to matter when it comes to murder, but he doesnt want his friends to end up like that, so he might as well take on that burden, because whats one more person’s death on his hands? (EVEN THO HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO KILL ANY MORE...but theres exceptions when it comes to saving your friend’s souls and whatnot) :( :( AUGHHH

but luckily retz comes THRU with some good ole fratricide

killua: [takes notes]

the fact that the phantom troupe just fuckgin shows up and is like oh hey its you guys. this casual enemy stuff kills me lmao i love it 

then they just fuckgin LEAVE and theyre like welllll we cant rlly fight u bc of chrollo’s state so by i guess. its NOT On Sight but someday it will be! YOU TOO HISOKA DONT THINK WE FUCKIGN FORGOT ABOUT YOU. 

dramatic house burning! and rip retz, saw that one comin tho 

when they all went thru and said their life goals and then killua was like shit i dont have a cool definitive anime goal LMAOOOO

but THEN gon said his goals should be to stay by gon’s side UHMMM???? baby gays AUGHHHHH and killua is just like lovestruck AUGHHHH 

Gays Win 

then they all peace out to resume the next arc lmaoooo

and then we see flashes of other characters, like the blonde girl (who ruth and i totally thought retz was, seeing thumbnails from this movie....we were like w8 hasnt that girl not been introduced yet??? lmao)

we also see some dude w/long hair and a hat who ive never seen before but ruth went OHHH ITS SCYTHE GUY!!! so i guess hes gonna b important?? lol 

and then we saw chrollo....still in the same place the squad left him vbhajfdjkahsbfkdjabhsukfdj CAN HE NOT GET DOWN FROM THERE W/OUT NEN OR AN AIRSHIP??? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY ARE YOU KIDDING ME 

general thots:

so this was very much an Anime Movie, in that they cant like, advance to plot or develop the characters much, bc its a movie. and this one is non canon

it was enjoyable but i do feel like it was much more typical shounen then hxh usually is...like, i feel like this was made by the same people who make like, the naruto movies or w/e, and w/the same sort of approach/attitude 

this isnt necessarily bad - i LIKE shounen for a reason - but it was a bit noticeable bc it wasnt quite as smart as hxh is usually, and it rehashed a lot of stuff weve already seen in this show itself 

but still i think it did a good job w/what it had, and it had some good angst, and everyone was very gay which is good

the art style was SLIGHTLY wack but it wasnt as bad as i thought itd be 

overall a fun time like most anime movies. didnt reinvent the wheel but i had a good time. im excited for the greed island arc, and im also disproportionately excited to watch the hxh musical bc that is a thing that exists and i MUST see it asap bc that sounds like the kind of hilarious wackiness that appeals to me specifically

so thats it...later! 

[pinksvnt]

pairing: jeonghan x reader

genre: fluff, angst(i dont think it counts tbh lol)

word count: 1,678

sypnosis: other members flirt with you and it gets on jeonghans nerves

[This was a request by an anon and I hope whoever that person is.... that this pleases them ㅠㅠ my stories are never too long which is why i write so quick]

Pledis did not prohibit anyone from dating. But It wasn't encouraged and it sure as hell isn't celebrated when the CEO would find out. Jeonghan could care less about that though. He remembers when he first met you. You were by yourself in a cafe and he caught you staring at him. Being the type of person he was he walked up to you and was trying to quickly figure out something witty to tell you. As he pulled a chair out and plopped down onto he couldn't help but laugh over how frightened you looked.

"You know if you snuck a photo of me from the get go you wouldn't have been caught staring. My name is Jeonghan by the way" He couldn't help but find funny the expression you were making. You seemed very animated.

"You have a dark permanent marker line on your face" He laughed thinking you were joking. But as you pulled out a little mirror and gently touched his face to angle his face, he stopped. There was, in fact, a marker line on his face. "My name is y/n. Take this wipe."

Since that day he started hanging out with you. The way he teased people wasn't always something others liked to deal with but you seemed to handle it well.

He'd make fun of you. Poke your cheeks. Mimic you. Laugh at you. Sometimes though you'd shut him down by reminding him that you're used to dealing with children. It was all fun and games until he started realizing maybe his feelings were so platonic.

There was once where you invited him over to help you pick out a date outfit. He hated every moment of it and didn't even understand why. Whenever you'd get a text he would playfully take it away and get a bit annoyed whenever he saw it was another boy. He usually played things off easily but one day he just snapped.

"Ugh, y/n, I'm sick of you going out on date and not hanging out with me" he tsk at you and felt his blood boiling just thinking about you going on another date.

"Jeonghan, I can't just hang out with you and only you. I want a life you kn-"

"I know but I'm just saying all these dudes never live up to what you deserve!" He was getting frustrated with himself because he wanted to stop but these words just kept flooding out. "You're an idiot y/n" He was getting ready to leave your apartment when you stopped him.

"Jeonghan I thought you were supposed to be supportive now you've gone and called me an idiot. What am I supposed to do then huh? Live alone forever and just be friends with you. I'm sorry but that can't happen!" He turned around and it seemed to have given you a fright so he backtracked.

"Okay listen y/n, I'm sorry. But I just can't stand seeing you going on dates with guys who don't deserve you " You looked confused, if you hadn't figured out by now that he liked you he was just gonna have to go ahead and say it. "The thing is, I think I like you more than a friend and I just don't wanna see you with other guys y/n...." now you looked even more confused than ever.

"Jeonghan I-" honestly he felt like he blacked out but eventually that night lead to you two dating not long after.

-

A few months passed and you two were doing great. You'd visit jeonghan sometimes whenever he'd have practice and eventually that lead to you becoming friends with other members. He wasn't worried too much. They were like family and even though he had yet to tell everyone that you two were dating he didn't really feel the need too. At least not yet, it didn't seem that important.

It was one of those times where he'd have little to no time to see you and although you understood he would still worry. You'd end up coming to the studio to bring Jeonghan and everyone snacks and it was just nice having your presence around. You got along with the other members so when he had to leave to record his parts of a song he thought you were fine.

He was finishing up his part of the song when you screamed outside the studio. Both he and Jihoon turned to look at each other confused before heading out to see what was going on. Although they were only met with an anticlimactic scene of you being helped up by Mingyu who was frantically saying sorry. He was also trying his best not to laugh. Jihoon tsk'd and went back into the studio by himself as Jeonghan just stood there for a moment.

"Mingyu what did you do? Did you push her to the ground or are you just too tall that you didn't

see her and bumped into her?" Jeonghan ended up asking you if you were fine and you ended up bursting into a giggling mess.

"Yeah I'm fine Jeonghan. Mingyu here just tried to show me what it was like being tall. I wanted to know. But then he dropped me!" You gently punched Mingyu's chest as he proceeded to overreact and fall down dramatically himself, making both of you laugh.

"Oh well I'm glad you two are having fun but don't hurt each other. Well, make sure he doesnt hurt you. He's practically a tree" Jeonghan ended up walking back to the studio room and that was that. He didn't worry too much about it at the time. It didn't seem like anything really.

-

Days later you showed up to the dorms this time. You offered to make everyone a nice dinner and it warmed his heart that you cared for not only his but his members this much that you're willing to cook for them. He tried to warn you how much they eat but you kept insisting and insisting so he finally gave in.

You were enjoying your time in the kitchen. You seemed content and happy, he wanted nothing more than to walk up from behind you and kiss you. But no one knew about you too yet and he didn't want it to be tonight. Mostly because he didn't want the members being dramatic and teasing him about it.

He was playing a game with Joshua and Wonwoo when he heard you laughing which instinctively made his head turn towards your directions. Immediately he was a little uncomfortable. Seungcheol had his arms around you while you were trying to wiggle out of his grip. He was thanking you for cooking dinner but in a very Seungcheol-y way.

"Thank you y/n. You're so kind to us. You're obviously an angel!" He poked your cheeks as he smiled at you and this shouldn't be bothering Jeonghan but it was. It was really bothering him in fact. Seungcheol had his arms around you while you tried to wiggle out of his grip and tried to maneuver around the kitchen.

"Oooookay Seungcheol. I get it, you're grateful for the dinner but I can't cook with you attached to me like this now let go" With a sort of rough push he finally let go of you and Jeonghan smiled to himself because he was just glad he was off of you. Although he knew he shouldn't be bothered by Seungcheol’s actions, he just couldn't help it.

-

Jeonghan remembers clearly the day he had enough of the members flirting with you. Whether it was unconsciously or not he didnt wanna deal with it anymore. He was tired that day, the lack of sleep and exhaustion from practicing made him irritable. He was not going to act like the hulk or anything but small things annoyed him more than they should be.

You were sitting on the practice room couch, waiting patiently for him to finish so you and him could have dinner together. You would clap a bit whenever he and the members would finish a dance and you'd even tell everyone how good they were doing. It not only brighten his mood up but it seemed to be doing the same for the others. This is when he figured he was probably just stressed these past few days and that the 'flirting' he saw, was just him over reacting.

"Hey y/n, can you walk with me outside for a second" His head never snapped so fast towards a direction ever. He saw Soonyoung nervously grabbing his neck and shyly smiling at you. You looked at his eyes a bit wide and smiling gently, you were so dense, that's all he could think.

"Oh ye-" You weren't even able to finish your sentence when Jeonghan interrupted the situation.

"Soonyoung, were dating, just so you know!" Jeonghan was smiling at both you and Soonyoung. He didn't feel angry? He just felt annoyed and he didn't mind the stares everyone was giving him. He was admittedly upset that everytime you were around, others would flirt with you though. He stood up and leaned against Soonyoung, nudging him gently before plopping down grabbing your hand in his.

"O- oh, alright" Soonyoung was red in the face but smiling awkwardly and now Jeonghan was feeling bad about it. He embarrassed Soonyoung and he could feel how embarrassed you were too.

"Dramatic much" A pillow hit Jeonghan's face and that was the blow he needed to know that he was being dramatic. The other members were laughing at bit at him and he tried to settle them down by apologizing for being, well a dick in all honesty. At least he did not have to worry anymore about the members flirting with you.

"Jeonghan" Seungcheol pulled him to the side and pulled him close to whisper to him. "I bet twenty bucks that you two were dating and that you'd snap if someone confessed to y/n. Thanks for the win. I'm 100 bucks richer now..."

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.09 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Choni ❤️❤️❤️ But “stealing from.the rich to give to, well, us” what? Cheryl… YOU’RE RICH. Give some of the money to the Serpents They need it a bit more than you do baby. BUT BITCH THEIR FIRST I LOVE YOU I’M—

- Five weeks of the quarantine… that would have made an INCREDIBLE story line? Seriously? It would have been amazing to see Sweet Pea being temporary king while Jarghead and FP were gone. But no… let’s just skip the good part? What the fuck kinda writing skips.a great plot?

- “All physical contact must be kept to a minimum?” um… literally WHY? There’s literally NO reason for that to be a rule? Also fuck off Moose no ones likes a tattle tale and we all know that you’re slumming it up with Kevin after school so leave my babies alone. Oh. it’s for the seizures? Really? Dude SEIZURES ARE NOT FUCKING CONTAGIOUS YOU STUPID FUCKERS OH MY GOD. Stop trying to keep then gays from being cute!!!!!!!

- The RROTC made the rules? Dude they don’t run the school lmao that’s NOT HOW THINGS WORK

- JOSIE SINGING!!! MY BABY VERONICA!!! UGH FUCK ME UPPPP

- VEGGIE. VERONICA IS LOOKING AT JOSIE’S INCREDIBLE SINGING WHILE REGGIE IS AWING AT VERONICA I’M—

-  Ew and then my mood is ruined by bughead waking up 😷😷😷

- Betty put all of those girl’s… in HER house? THE COOPERS CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES LET ALONE THOSE GIRLS. Also don’t they fucking have families? And yes, Betty, that scream definitely would wake up your mom because they have those motherly instincts and they’d think their child was hurt, so ofc she’s going to wake up.

- They want to play… G&G… are you kidding me? I kinda get that it makes them feel better because that’s how they had it in SOQM but still WHY? JUST PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING AND TAKE A BATH.

- Of course Jughead goes from his horrible leadership to “I left you too long” stfu right now your priority is the Serpents and who’s dealing the drugs (although I know who and uhhhh leave them alone he has to stay alive somehow)

 - They don’t even have an elected Sheriff yet? WHY? SHERIFF KELLER DIDN’T DIE DID HE? THEN FUCKING REINSTATE HIM??? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU STUPID FUCKS

 - “Maybe that means that Archie could come back home” wE KNOW YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM BETTY. Barchie!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

- Reggie ❤️❤️❤️ WOAH WHAT NO LEAVE HIM ALONE? HE ALREADY GETS ABUSED BY HIS FATHER! But aw Ronnie gets to take care of him I’m—

- Hiram really is trying to hustle his daughter wow so uhhh he does know that his daughter is the incredible Veronica Lodge, right? She’ll find a way lol we all know the queen can do everything

- “Has anyone ever told you you’re a badass?” Wow Reggie is so fucking into her I’m just 😭😭

- If Vegas gets hurt RAS will LITERALLY DIE.  I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. Also there’s no way Vegas wouldn’t have seen or heard the bear behind him but sure whatever. ARCHIE JUST BC SHE’S ZONING OUT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HEAR HER. JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS JESUS. Also how convenient that it suddenly doesn’t work.

- “They imprinted on me” Betty NEVER say that again that was gross as fuck. “But as their queen, they are your responsibility, not mine” bitch Betty can’t be a queen no matter how hard she tries, and she (nor Jughead) know how to take care of anyone but themselves so… Alice unless you want Betty to end up killing them, this is where you, as the mom, undermine her and take them to the farm. Of course I don’t trust the farm but it’s much safer than the Cooper house hold because they have the resources to spare, the Cooper’s don’t.

- Hey here’s an idea… since you can’t get to Hiram using the nuns because they took a vow of silence (cowards) then maybe… just maybe… OUT IT AS A CONVERSION THERAPY HELL SITE AND USE THAT INSTEAD? But we know Betty doesn’t want to save the gays so 😷😷

- I love Josie’s singing but why is she singing in an empty lounge? REST HER VOCALS.

- I used to love Hiram’s evil-ness but now he just shows up all the time and it’s getting annoying. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THIS FUCKING PLOT SO VERONICA CAN FOR ONCE GET HER OWN STORY THAT BETTY DOESN’T TAKE, THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER FATHER OR A GUY. SERIOUSLY. They have so much potential with literally any other character but still decide to force Bughead and their separate characters down our throats. Like at this point honestly just kill them both off Jesus Christ

- Jughead… this is a gang… they’ve always sold drugs? At least, weed, but still? You have to take into consideration that you were gone, and they were placed under quarantine, and they needed money. You can’t blame any of them for dealing with Hiram you whiny piss baby. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

- God it bothers me that Jarghead is such a lowsy king. When do we get Sweet Pea overthrowing him? pLEASE WE NEED IT SO TONI CAN LEAD BESIDE HIM. Maybe Swangs (even though I know what happens) and Choni can co-lead the Serpents

- Cheryl speaking facts! AND MY BOY FANGS. Jughead had NOTHING to say to Fangs and FP had to step up and cover for Jughead, because he was right. What else are they supposed to do? Gangs are supposed to do bad shit? Jughead has done ultimate horrible shit and suddenly he’s going to act like a gang is supposed to be clean? Jughead do your research that is not what gangs do. Also, if FP is going to be at every fucking Serpent meeting maybe he should, you know, take his spot back. He’s a MUCH better leader than Jughead, even though I’d prefer it be one of the founding members like TONI FUCKING TOPAZ or something.

- I love how no one really does the “in unity there is strength” thing. Like, they know they’re being lead to slaughter basically and FP is just letting it happen. Also, they’re running the gang into the ground. There is no more unity because JUGHEAD’S STUPID POWER-HUNGRY ASS ISN’T DOING SHIT TO HELP THE GANG. Also also Betty looks so out of place and awkward there. Can’t wait for Archie to come back and for her to realize that he almost died and then realize she can’t live without him and that she loves him and finally bughead can split for good and barchie can rise

- If Veronica paid why the FLYING FUCK did they go after Josie? FucK OFF HIRAM

- Polly you had to say his name. LEAVE MY BOY ALONE.

- FANGS CRYING STOP STOP STOP MY BABY BOY NO NO NO

- “We could’ve helped you” JUGHEAD YOU LITERALLY JUST BANNED CRIME. THE SERPENTS HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ELSE WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? Also they can’t get mad at him bc this was before Jughead got back and did the stupid crime law like a hypocrite

- DUDE FANGS DID THIS BEFORE THE FUCKING RULE YOU STUPID FUCKERS? LIKE??? DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS?

- Oh Jughead has one brain cell left? I know he ends up being cancelled but he’s not… yet.

- CHONI BREAKING IN AND STEALING SHIT YES BITCH

- Why is Archie hallucinating playing G&G? Like doesn’t this mean he’s playing by himself? The fuck?

- Dead ass Cassidy telling Archie it sounds like his fault that all that happened, you can tell that this is Archie’s mind because he always blames himself for things that have nothing to do with him. Because we know that it’s definitely NOT his fault. None of it is.

- Cheryl just HAD to kiss the picture

- JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. MY FANFIC IS COMING TO LIFE. JUGHEAD AND THE SERPENTS PROTECTING VERONICA YASSSSSSSSS

- I’m mad that they didn’t have Joaquin not actually die. Like, Sweet Pea and Fangs were close to him? They could have faked his death like what the fuck

- YES WE LOVE AND STAN LAWYER MCCOY

- How did Jughead know that Toni was involved? Cheryl was the only one who left a stupid calling card.

- THE TEARS WELLING IN TONI’S EYES STOP STOP STOP

- But he can’t fucking kick her out she’s literally a legacy. This crusty white boy needs to sit the fuck down

- Okay one, Cheryl why would you bring Fangs back into it? THE FUCK. Also, Jughead you can’t be disappointed in Fangs for telling SP even though you said not to tell anyone—best friend’s never count. 

- SWEET PEA STANDING UP. FANGS CRYING. “Some leader you are” YES FANGS WHAT A KING. SWEET PEA BBY OH MY GOD

- “And the rest of us don’t get to go back to Thistlehouse” says the disgusting whiny piss baby who gets to sleep in his girlfriend’s house, in her comfortable bed while his gang lays in cots or some shit in tents. Get off your mighty high horse, Jughead. God, now they’re switching roles… Betty is kinda becoming SLIGHTLY tolerable and now Jughead is being so fucking annoying. Go back to how it was please.

- JERONICA. AND VEGGIE. EXCELLENCE.

- So Archie standing over Hiram and shit was all a fucking dream? Really? COME ON. Lol Hiram has a point though because everyone goes in and tells him their fucking plans. OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE WAS GREAT. CALL BACK TO BARCHIE BEING ENDGAME YESSSS.

- So if Veronica ended up smashing the egg… then fucking give Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl their spots in the Serpents back since it was all for nothing anyways.

- I’m glad Cheryl and Nana Rose are housing some fo the girls but WHAT ABOUT THE SERPENTS YOU GUYS HAVE A BIG FUCKING HOUSE. Why didn’t she house some of them there? I mean it’s ooc for Toni not to be thinking of her fellow Serpents why wouldn’t she be like “hey babe you have a lot of room here what if we help house some of the Serpents” but uhhh apparently not.

- Hey FP shut the fuck up with this “she’s still a Lodge” shit because you all know she doesn’t associate herself with her parents anymore. Remember “you don’t have a daughter” or…?

- Jughead brought up when FP worked for Hiram. Hell yeah! But him saying he wants Jughead to be a better king than him? BITCH YOUR SON DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO RUN A GANG. HE SUCKS. HE’S STUPID AND RUINING THE GANG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? God never give your throne to blood family.

- Yeah, FP, you’re not made for the sidelines you’re made to RULE you stupid fuck. Maybe you should get back with Alice she makes you more stable and less stupid

- REGGIE’S LIKE “NOT THIS TIME BITCH”

- SWEET PEA WITH A BAT FUCK YEAH

- So… you threaten the gargoyle bitch but you don’t unmask him to see who he is? Are you fucking stupid?

- Wtf… he has to beat himself with a bat on his own bed? I am confusion… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? THE BLACK HOOD AND HIRAM AND THE GARGOYLE KING HAVE DONE SHIT NOT YOU YOU BIG BAFOON. NO DON’T DESTROY YOU’RE GOOD HEARTED INNOCENCE. YOU’RE THE ONLY BRAVE ONE OF THE CORE FOUR. ARCHIE NO.

- If they make Archie unlikable the only good core four person will be Veronica.

- VERONICA SINGING ❤️❤️❤️ Oh fuck I know this song but I can’t remember where I’ve heard it!!!

- VEGGIE. SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE HIM I’M— HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH HER. VEGGIE KISS. Why can they make their chemistry shown on screen but Bughead can’t? Like both couples are even dating irl, too…

- JUGHEAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT. He only uses Sweet Pea or Fangs when he has something he doesn’t want to do usually because it’s too dangerous for him (whiny piss baby). DON’T MAKE MY BABY BOY GO UNDERCOVER HE’LL FUCKING GET HURT.

- I’ve literally never hated Jughead more nothing he can do can make up for what he’s done in this episode bye

- What the actual fuck. This is so fucking stupid.

- Archie isn’t dead. If Archie dies before bitch ass Betty or Jiggaloo Jones I will literally come after RAS. 

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

HOB ch.23-24

FINALLY, i’m back to hob’s universe. i had to stop reading this because university, but now that i’m freaking done with my exams, i can enjoy it as i wanted *^*

aaaaah, i missed xie lian and hua cheng SO MUCH- just look at my beautful san lang taking that strange plant and going to cure his gege’s hand immediately as if that’s the only thing that matters. god, i love him

San Lang didn’t respond, and after applying the powder he let go of Xie Lian’s hand. Xie Lian couldn’t help but think his attitude and this weird atmosphere between the two of them was really off, but didn’t know how to ask about it without sounding weird. This wasn’t something anyone else would notice either and couldn’t possibly understand.

(he just hates you putting yourself in danger for the sake of other people, he waited too much for you, gege! aaaaah they are beautiful, help me-)

EDIT: awkward hualian is making me wanna hug those two, i need them to remain alone and more of san lang protecting his gege 

EDIT 2: THERE IS A FRAKING F A C E IN THE GROUND. WHAT THE HELL. THAT’S CREEPY.

EDIT 3: omg okay, if i already didn’t love san lang, i would fall in love with him right now. he went for a version of that plant that had not been fertilised by humans ‘cause he knew xie lian wouldn’t like it, and that’s so thoughtful and beautiful and i feel blessed. BLESSED.

Ever since Xie Lian had gotten stung by the scorpion snake, San Lang had behaved like this. A couple days ago it was all ge ge this, ge ge that, but now he barely called him ge ge anymore. When they first met, San Lang had avoided his touch and seemed weary of contact with Xie Lian, but that seemed to have gone away after spending so much time together. Now, besides sucking poison and applying herbs, San Lang was once again avoiding touching him, and that made Xie Lian feel weird. He’s not used to this distance.

i am getting so freaking emotional, this is so angsty and bittersweet, i love hearing sl calling him gege, it’s what keeps me alive, so i want them to talk and figure this out pls make it possible please please please-

EDIT 4: 

The mud face replied, “There’s someone amongst you I’ve seen before… fifty to sixty years ago.”

A shiver went down everyone’s back and made their hairs stand.

No mortal in present company should be aged over fifty. That means whoever this person was that was here then was not human.

this is getting creepier by the minute, what the fuck- i love this. I LOVE THIS.

EDIT 5: i think the face is talking about san lang? since, you know, he is a big deal in the demon world and long. HE WON’T HURT ANYONE AS LONG AS THEY DON’T HURT XIE LIAN, CHIIIIILL.

EDIT 6: 

Xie Lian pushed himself off the ground about to walk away before the mud face raised his voice, “Do you really not want to know who it is? He will kill all of you.”

yeah, i think he really is talking about him. though i don’t trust some of the merchants? and a-zhao? mmmmh

EDIT 7: okay, tha face? that face is getting unsettling me so much WHY DO THOSE MERCHANT IDIOTS GET CLOSER??? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

EDIT 8: what the fUCK DID I JUST READ EWWWWWWWW

Xie Lian grabbed the merchant by his collar and backed up, but the tongue that flew out was freakishly lengthy and barged right into the merchant’s ear!

Xie Lian felt the body in his hold convulse violently, the merchant’s limbs writhed nonstop, and the man let out a short agonizing scream before falling to the ground. That long tongue dug out a large chunk of something bloody from his ear and and brought it back to the mud face’s mouth.

sorry, see you later, i’m gonna throw up-

EDIT 9: 

He was about to attack the repulsive monster when the mud face screamed again, “GENERAL! GENERAL! THEY’RE HERE! THEY’RE HERE!”

A deafening cry more savage than beasts blared in the distance.

YOU ATROCIOUSLY IDIOTIC HUMAN PLANT-----------

EDIT 10:

The massive nine feet man they called ‘general’ seemed to have found the squirming mud face deeply disgusting, and swung his mace towards him, smashing his face into a bloody mess, the teeth of his mace piercing his brains. When he pulled up his mace again, the entire body was pulled out with it, fulfilling his wish of “let me out!”. And the body that was unearth was not a full human body, but a skeleton.

(okay, now i feel... uhm, i feel a bit sad. yeah, sorry annoying-face-in-the-mud, i think i jinxed you?

THAT FACE IS STILL ALIVE WHAT THE HELL. well, “alive” is probably too big of a word, but... *sugh* i am gonna refer to this as the annoying-face-in-the-mud arc from now on.)

The mud face countered immediately, “That wasn’t odd! It was just… a tongue a bit longer than average!”

*hysterical laugh* SERIOUSLY?

EDIT 11:

He said in a small voice, “Don’t worry. If anything happens I will go forward first.”

Xie Lian thought if they must all fall, then he might as well be the first one to check things out. It couldn’t be worse than venomous snakes and beasts, menacing ghosts and demons. He couldn’t die from falling, he couldn’t die from poison, he couldn’t die from bites, and he couldn’t die from getting hit. As long as it wasn’t some pool of corpse dissolving water, his body shouldn’t be damaged too horribly.

NO OKAY? NO. SOMEONE STOPS HIM RIGHT THIS INSTANT I KNOW SAN LANG WON’T ALLOW SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN OR WILL AT LEAST GO WITH HIM OMG why does xie lian talk about himself like that, i hate this, just because you can’t get hurt doesn’t mean you have to care so little for yourself, babe, i love you so much-

EDIT 12: okay, wow, a-zhao went down and i... did not expect that, since i was suspicious of him too, so now i feel guilty. again. ugh. also, that pit sounds even more scary now that, supposedly, a-zhao’s body has been teared apart.

EDIT 13: THE SOLDIERS ARE INSULTING HIM AND I AM GETTING MAD HOW  D A R E  Y O U- also, bitch? you wanna die, you are freaking asking for it-

EDIT 14: 

There was no helping it. Xie Lian was ready to jump if all else fails anyway. Behind him San Lang stepped forward.

Xie Lian’s heart lurched and turned around.

With his arms crossed, the boy was nonchalantly looking over the dark, bottomless pit with an air of intrigue. This wasn’t a good sign, and Xie Lian called out, “San Lang?”

Hearing his call, San Lang looked over and smiled softly, “Don’t worry.”

(WHATEVER YOU ARE GONNA DO, DON’T DO IT. I’M NOT GONNA READ IT SO IT WON’T HAPPEN. I AM FREAKING SCARED BUT- well. san lang won’t get hurt, right? BUT I DON’T WANT HIM TO SUFFER EITHER. just look at this cutie pie smiling at his gege and telling him not to worry i’m done-)

San Lang took another step forward and was teetering dangerously on the edge. Both Xie Lian’s head and heart started pounding, and he called again, “Wait, San Lang, don’t move!”

At such height at the brink, the boy’s red clothes danced in the night breeze. San Lang glanced at him again with a smile, “Don’t be scared.”

“Come back here. Come back here and I won’t be scared.” Xie Lian said.

(THAT LAST SENTENCE. HEAVEN HELPS ME. 

shit shit shIT I’M CRYING OMG THEIR ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL XIE LIAN IS SO WORRIED SINCE HE IS STILL NOT SURE ABOUT HIS IDENTITY AND HE DOESN’T WANT TO RISK IT AND SAN LANG IS SO SOFT AND PROTECTIVE OF HIM GUYS MY HEART IS BEING TEARED APART I WANNA CRY THIS IS TO PRECIOUS HELP)

EDIT 15: XIE LIAN SCREAMING HIS NAME AND JUMPING AFTER HIM ONLY TO BE HELD BACK I AM DYING SO FAST RIGHT NOW

why did no one tell me this was so painfull-

EDIT 16: okay, why is a dead girl throwing them all down-

EDIT 17: 

He thought he was going to crater and flatten like a pancake like many times before when suddenly, in the darkness, there was a flash of silver.

A pair of hands lightly caught him.

Whoever it was caught him perfectly, as if this person was made just to catch him at the bottom. With a hand across his back to grasp his shoulders, another under his knees to support his weight, the dreadful gravity of the fall was dissolved to nothing. Still dazed and confounded from falling at such a height, Xie Lian unconsciously held on tight to that person’s shoulders and called, “San Lang?”

The pit was filled with darkness, nothing could be seen, including the person. But Xie Lian still called that name. The other didn’t respond so Xie Lian patted and squeezed the chest and shoulders just to make sure. “San Lang, is that you?”

(OKAY I AM ALIVE

I am not sure a posses the words to explain how i feel, but even if i knew san lang was gonna catch him (that he was fine), my heart is pounding so hard and i love how strongly xie lian is reacting to him, unconsciously feeling him up to make sure he is fine. i didn’t know it’d be like this, they are gonna be the end of me.)

It took a moment before he heard the boy’s low voice from very close to him, “I’m ok.”

Xie Lian didn’t know why, but this voice was curiously different than before.

(BECAUSE THAT’S HUA CHENG, BABE, AND IT’S HAPPENING? IS SAN LANG FINALLY SHOWING HIS TRUE FORM???? ARE THEY GONNA MEET NOW?!??!?!?!?!!??!?)

[tennyo-elf]

Thoughts on Cullen, both negative and positive:

Okay, so life crap aside (’cause if you think my hiatus isn’t life BS, you’d be wrong), I am slowly making my way back to Dragon Age. I started a new play through of DAI and I’m rerolling my Ellana (ofc, I love her too much - AND I have to get back to my last ME3 pt too, ‘cause I want to do a video series with ME after that). So generally, getting back into DA and ME makes me happier.

I’ve always liked Cullen! Ellana romances and marries him! This blogs has reblogged tons of gifs and images of him. But, sadly, I can finally see the haters POV, and pretty clearly too. Yet it all comes from Haven/Pre-Skyhold/that one convo after his Lyrium decision.

First, the way he speaks of Kirkwall, like he mentions only the bad things the mages did, like the templars didn’t have a hand in that chaos, and normally I’d say Cullen is blindsided but he knows better here (I’m thinking/hoping it’s just a knee jerk reaction). Then he speaks about how the mages watch the Templars just as much as the Templars watch the mages and states it pretty cluelessly, as if he doesn’t know why - which he honestly may not (the mages are scared and see you guys a jailers/executioners/oppressors/etc  !!***!!). Then later he states he fears for Redcliffe because the rebel mages are there - I know he worries about bad things happening (and bad things did happen, but not because of the mages, because of Alexius) but that means he doesn’t trust mages or think them capable of restraint.. It’s not in your face mage discrimination, but you can clearly see how he still thinks lowly about mages. He is still very much a Templar in thought and action at this time, despite how he wants to get away from the Order. I can see how and why people who don’t like Cullen, would go “ugh” with Cullen and never give him another chance. I’m yelling at Cullen on my screen, because he is too narrow minded during this time (just like I yell at Solas, whom I also love, lol).

I’m so conflicted right now, because I know Cullen gets better, even subtly, later on, but we don’t get the solid details on it. All we get are hints and only if you romance him as a mage. When talking about Maddox and how Meredith wielded the Tranquil brand for far lesser offences, Cullen does seem mad or finds the memory distasteful, but he never tells us what he thinks about it. Unless you count the whole “Meredith’s methods were harsh but they kept people safe” spiel. I don’t like his solution because he ends it with the words “neither freedom nor prison” (dude, your mage gf is right there, you don’t want her free?????). That hints he now realises that it’s a prison for mages or that mages see it that way. That’s something, a start, and it’s a different mindset than at Haven. After that I don’t remember if there is much from Cullen about mages anymore. (His silly worries about the Eluvian is actually pretty funny, because, one, if you joke with him he realizes he shouldn’t worry, and two, he verbally pouts when he states that “he not unreasonable” - it makes me wonder how much contemplation he gives to his opinions or thoughts, because sometimes it seems like he doesnt, while other times he does).

I’ve noticed how he finds it difficult to be or think in someone else’s shoes, not until they knock him over the head with their own experiences. He wrongly thinks about how Tranquillity was created by mages too (the truth is he is very much a parrot to Chantry indoctrination, until otherwise informed but even informed it takes him time to turn around and face the truth). And he is very set in his ways but seems to want to change himself or just not be who he was in DA2. I know he wants to be a good man and wants to protect people (that’s the core of his character and why I like him). He has seen the dangers of magic and I don’t disagree that protections against magical misuse should be in place, but the subject seems to cloud his judgement (and of course it does after what he went through in the Circle of Ferelden). But he doesn’t take nonsense from the Chantry, even though he is very devout, which makes him paradoxical at times too. He is also very unforgiving of those who do wrong, even if it was just an honest mistake, so his mercy bar is low. And yet he needs mercy too, says it himself at the end of the base game (he if it was him, he wouldn’t have given himself another chance).

It’s just, Cullen’s character is layered, and he has done good things (among his bad). And besides Leliana, and besides his botched and ridiculous suggestions for the Clan Lavellan War Tables mission, he actually has some of the best options for a lot of the elvhen centred war table missions. I mean, can someone who wants to change, to be a better person, makes friends with mages, dwarves, qunari, and is around an Inquisitor who makes Leliana Divine, still be stuck in that pre-Skyhold mentality?

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I’m just angry we don’t have a really proper redemption arc for Cullen (and yes, I agree a lot with the idea of DAI only having a recovery arc for him, but that means Cullen still needs a redemption arc and if you don’t want him DA4, how is he going to get that????). We really don’t see him change more from the beginning of the game. Like we get hints, to a subtle shift in his character, and it’s not apparent and can be easily missed or overlooked or even dismissed as Cullen not having changed a bit. It’s so easy to make your own version of Cullen. I choose to see him as changed and that having a Dalish mage lover than later wife, really opens his eyes to a different world he hadn’t seen before due to his insular life as a Templar within a very awful Chantry.

And like, I get the feeling that Cullen can’t shift too fast either because if he acknowledges that “what good he did” as a Templar was just bad/evil like murder evil in general he’d falter or come completely undone, and that can’t happen during DAI because he needs to command the army. Like, hey, that mage that failed her harrowing? If you just dampened her magic for a bit, you could have removed the demon and saved her life (admittingly that risks other lives) but there were options to give mages more chances at life, a better life, within in the Circle. Harrowings are evil, and I want Cullen to get that. Cullen needed more tbh, for him to be more generally likeable. His opinion  about mages, in the beginning of DAI, is annoying and infuriating.

Slowly he stops talking about mages and seems slightly more reasonable near the end, but it’s almost too subtle, or just plain unclear just how much he has changed. I understand he won’t be 100% pro-mage because of what happened in the Circle of Ferelden, but like being around mages, free mages no less, who don’t go spewing blood magic or summon demons willy nilly, etc, should have made a dent in his thick skull! I headcanon that it does, because knowing what I know of Cullen, it seems natural to me that he would learn and be better, slowly but surely. His stubborn, very stubborn, but to me his shift from DA2 to DAI means that he is capable of re-evaluating previously held beliefs. So what’s stopping someone like that from learning even more though proper guidance and exposure?  He’d always have certain traits, he’d always be devout to the Maker, but wouldn't evidence during DAI show him that mages can be free to govern themselves? We never find out though just how much his opinions can change though. We don’t hear his opinions or thoughts on the matter at all in the end (what does he think about Adamant or Mythal or Solas, on the College of Mages and the allianced mages who successful ran themselves?). That is what frustrates me so much!!! I just want a clear answer, if Cullen is around a pro-mage Inquisitor, who allies with the mages, and then has Leliana Divine, does that help him grow out of all that up there that has me yelling at him? I want it to be so, but that fact is it’s unclear, that DA4 might not mention it, or that if Cullen is in DA4 we won’t get to see how much he changed because he’ll be a quick guest appearance or..?

And throwing this out there, I like how he says to a Dalish LI, “I want your promise to be true” in such a serious tone, when they mention needing Dalish vows. But does that mean he cares about her faith or respects it (which seems like he would do, by this time, he’d need time to respect another faith besides his own at first)? Or he doesn’t care if she like recites some demonic passage to some daedric princes, so long as she marries him....(because he can be a stubborn, ignorant toad sometimes that needs to be taught)? We don’t know because we never get a chance for a Dalish LI to speak with Cullen about faith...

!!***!!Just came to me, Cullen is not very observant/is pretty ignorant about things. I don’t think he lies about things (that would be OOC for him), he just talks erroneously about things he doesn’t know anything about. (Thus, again, he needs better guidance...so would a pro-mage, pro-elf, merciful leader like my Ellana, truly help him change for the better?)

I still love Cullen, but my boy is problematic AF.  And I honestly believe bioware didn’t do him right (on point, to my liking, which I know others will disagree). Bioware either brushed off what he did or what he believes since they don’t think it’s a big deal, or because of time and budget, maybe they just couldn’t give him more of an arc. Or maybe Cullen is too much of a side character to get more story. Companions did have more than Advisors, so knowing that, I want Cullen as a companion is DA4 so he can get that arc I want him to have? Wishful thinking, I know. But tin foil hat on, maybe that’s why it’s only a recovery arc now, so later on, they can delve into more of his story? (Doubt it, wishful thinking AGAIN. But if what your Inquisitor did in DAI can vastly change him in DA4 and he has to go through that process of change. I mean, it shows just how much influence the Inquisitor had on her inner-circle and the world of Thedas?)

[feraldabi]

SEND: Love

Day 2: Important Events (confessions, first date, proposals, wedding)

ao3

Read more under the cut

Tobio groans when he hears his phone chirp with messages. He rolls to the other side of his bed and grabs his pillow to throw over his face; hoping to smother the insistent buzzing sound.

It doesn’t.

Annoyed at being woken up Tobio grabs the pillow and throws it at the wall across from him, and then he reaches for his phone. He stares at it with tired, unfocused eyes.

Finally, his eyes seem to register the phone in front of him and he sees it’s Oikawa-san messaging him.

Now, that wakes him up.

Tobio unlocks his phone and brings up the messages from Oikawa-san. He still rolls his eyes when he sees the name for Oikawa: The Best Senpai™, he didn’t choose that, obviously, Oikawa-san did. (Tobio still cannot get over how Oikawa-san had grabbed his phone out of his hand and inputted his number after a practice match. Mind-boggling, really.) His eyes widen when he reads the messages.

The Best Senpai™ [11:14 P.M.]: OI OIKAWAS KOHAI THIS BITCH LIKES YOU LOLOL

The Best Senpai™ [11:14 P.M.]: HES TOO CHICKEN SHIT TO TELL U SOOOO WE THOT WE WLD >;3c

The Best Senpai™ [11:16 P.M.]: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY BLUEBERRY  BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ANSWER PLSSSSSSS OIKAWA DOESNT KNOW WE HAVE HIS PHONE YET LMFAOOOOO

The Best Senpai™ [11:17 P.M.]: FUKC I THINK HE NOTICD OH SHIT

The Best Senpai™ [11:20 P.M.]: TOBIO-CHAN !! DONT BELIEVE MY IDIOT DRUNK EX-FRIENDS

The Best Senpai™ [11:20 P.M.]: (艸дﾟ*)

The Best Senpai™ [11:20 P.M.]: omfggggggggg imma kill them is2gg  (╬◣д◢)!!

The Best Senpai™ [11:22 P.M.]: lets just pretend this never happend ok…

The Best Senpai™ [11:25 P.M.]: ill understand if u dont wanna talk anymore

Confused.

Baffled.

Flustered.

Are words that easily describe how Tobio’s feeling right now. Oikawa-san like-likes him...what’s he supposed to do now?

Oh fuck, Tobio thinks. He feels his cheeks warm and his heart flutter in his chest. He startles when his phone buzzes again. It’s Oikawa-san.

The Best Senpai™ [11:30 P.M.]: TOBIO I SEE THAT UVE SEEN THE TEXTS

The Best Senpai™ [11:30 P.M.]: pls respond back

Tobio stares at his phone some more before this overwhelming feeling of-of something taking over his very being, and soon enough, he’s texting back.

Y r ur frnds drunk? [11:31 P.M.]

There, simple and straight to the point...kind of.

The Best Senpai™ [11:32 P.M.]: idk they’re dumbasses aND THEY R MY EX-FRIENDS TOBIO-CHAN !!!

The Best Senpai™ [11:32 P.M.]: (；￣Д￣）ANYWAY ! just pls ignore what they said earlier ok

Tobio’s fingers are typing before he even comprehends what he sent.

no [11:33 P.M.]

He’s not surprised by the flurry of texts that come after.

The Best Senpai™ [11:34 P.M.]: WHAT DO YOU M E A N NO??????

The Best Senpai™ [11:34 P.M.]: >.>

The Best Senpai™ [11:35 P.M.]: T O B I O

Tobio’s face flushes when he types out his next response:

cause i like u 2…

His finger hovers over the send button, uncertainty. It isn’t until he rereads the messages does he gets the courage to hit send.

cause i like u 2…[11:37 P.M.]

Tobio waits.

And waits.

And waits.

No response back.

The flush on his face becomes darker in color, he can’t believe he actually thought Oikawa-san’s friends weren’t lying.

Goddammit, he’s made himself look like a fool now.

He starts typing, he’ll say he was joking and then act like none of this ever happened. Tobio’s about to hit send when a call interrupts his texting.

CALL FROM: Oikawa-san

Tobio debates with himself if he should hit the END call, but doesn’t. In the end, he begrudgingly hits the CALL button.

“Oikawa-”

“I LIKE YOU, TOO, TOBIO-CHAN!” Is what cuts him off. The angry flush lightens to a petal pink. “W-What?”

“I-ugh...Like you, too. So, yeah” Oikawa-san says, voice shaky and hopeful(?).

“OH,” Tobio responds, he feels like he needs a drink because his mouth has become too dry. “I like you, as well, Oikawa-san.” He pauses and waits, listening to Oikawa’s heavy breathing.

“You do,” Oikawa-san exclaims. “I mean, of course you do, Tobio-chan! I am quite the catch, ya’know.”

Tobio pinches the bridge of his nose contemplating why he likes this jerk.

“Buuuut, anyway, since you like me I’ll take responsibility and take you on a date. Tomorrow at 7, wear casual clothes, ok!”

His eyes widen in shock, “Oikaw-”

“Can’t wait, bye bye!”

Tobio feels his eye twitch, the audacity of Oikawa-san. He tosses his phone back onto the desk by his bed before curling himself around his blankets. He needs all the rest he can get after this circus show...and he needs to make sure he doesn’t have any bags for his date.

He’s sound asleep when his phone goes off one last time.

The Best Senpai™ [12:00 A.M.]: can’t wait for our date tomorrow !!

  ␟␏(ɲ˃ ˈ̫̮ ˂ɳ)␟␏ෆ