#i keep going back and forth from like really happy
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luminni · 2 days ago
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I have a feeling Johnny would try and set up Simon with one of his friends
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“M’ tellin ya mate yer going tae like ‘er,” Johnny teased, bounding a couple steps in front of Simon, turning back to him and rocking back and forth on his heels, hands shoved into his pockets to protect them from the cold. As Price often quipped, the 'scott can't stand still for the life of him.'
“Mhm,” Simon just grumbled in response.
“See mate, That’s the attitude that scares all the girls away.” Johnny commented, hands outstretched and exaggerated.
“Whatever.” Simon huffed, shaking his head. Johnny wasn’t wrong, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d done anything with a girl that wasn’t a quick lay, and even then it had been months, not to mention going out on a proper date. Well, a date was a stretch, you were Johnny’s close friend for a couple years. He had heard of you, but never met you and now Johnny was insisting that he go on a date with you because he was convinced it was going to work well, Simon wasn’t convinced in the slightest.
“She’s real nice though- so put away the tough guy act big man- girls don’t like that.” Simon couldn’t believe he was getting dating advice from his sergeant, so he just doubled down and kept scowling but Johnny kept pressing. “I'm telling you she's a real sweet girl, kinda lass who would try tae make a crying baby laugh on the tube or go and feed some mangy stray dog, perfect for a prickly bastard like yerself.”
“Okay okay, Jesus. ’s not like ’m going to scare ‘er off on purpose.” Simon relented 
“You better not, gettin' laid might do ya' some good man, calm yer ass down a wee bit” Johnny chuckled
Simon would have yelled at him for that comment but his friend cut him off, “‘Kay we’re ‘ere,” Johnny chirped, “Gaz and his girl should be inside already and she’ll be ‘ere soon,” Johnny said, pushing his Lt. through the pub door.
Johnny had invited Kyle and his girlfriend for a kind of double date situation because he thought having another girl there would help you feel more comfortable, something Simon couldn’t argue with. Why Johnny’s single ass would be attending was a mystery.
and he's been playing both sides
“Ya like serious guys right?” Johnny had asked you out of the blue, a week or so prior while hanging out at your flat.
“Uh yeah sure? I mean I guess so, more than immature assholes like you.” You had joked back across the small kitchen.
“Well,” He had began, unphased by your teasing, “There’s this guy I work with-”
“Don’t even.” you cut him off
“Wha'?!” he whined
“Don’t try and set me up with one of your military bros,” you warned, “I’m not interested.”
“Jus' 'cause yer last dates 'ave been busts doesnae mean you shouldn't keep tryin’,” He pleaded, catching the sponge you threw at him, “He’s a real good guy, kinda intimidating but you’d like him, promise!”
You glared at him before going back and forth, Johnny was really trying to sell this guy, and he wasn’t wrong, your last three dates had been nothing short of disasters. So, after lots of pleading -and a couple tasteful photos from them at the gym- you agreed. So as you walked closer and closer to the pub, your nerves were buzzing. Just gotta get past his tough exterior is all, Johnny’s words of advice rang through your head. Thankfully he had invited another one of his friends there along with his girlfriend, you would have been hyperventilating if it was just going to be you and some guys. As you reached for the door, you could only hope Johnny was right about this guy.
So, who would be surprised when it actually works out, when Simon actually falls in love with you and your sweet smile at first site. When you find his corny and sometimes morbid jokes genuinely funny, having to cough around your drink to prevent spitting it out.
Johnny's just happy Simon might finally chill out, and he won't have to listen to you complain about failed dates every other week.
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focusonkayjay · 1 day ago
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between the ride and the roses (final)
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: biker/ motorcycle shop owner! jungkook x flower shop owner! reader, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, slow burn, angst, smut, fluff
Word count: 13.4k+
Series summary: There's an insane turn of events when your calm and peaceful life is intruded by Jungkook, a biker boy who sets up his loud business right next to your own. Your paths cross under unlikely circumstances, starting with a clash of personalities but gradually you find yourself establishing a deeper connection with the annoyingly attractive biker jerk. You both have no idea what's in store for you guys as you try your best to put up with each other.
Chapter Warnings: protected sex, oral (f. receiving), mentions of hospital, stitches, wounds, injuries, scars, angst (lmk if i missed anything)
A/N: wow, i can’t believe my first-ever series is finally over. it’s been almost two months since i started this, and you guys have shown me immense love and support for this story—something i’ll forever be grateful for. a part of me feels sad to let go of these characters, but i think i’ll be coming back with a few drabbles every now and then.
i truly hope you’re satisfied with the ending, and i hope reading this series brought you comfort the same way writing it brought comfort to me. thank you so much to everyone who stuck around until the very end. stay tuned for more of my work. also HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYSSSS i hope all of you have the best year ahead. love you guys <3
final: garden of the open road
"Or maybe you should get her flowers!!" Hoseok chimes, his tone bright and optimistic as he leans over the workbench, twirling a wrench in his hand like he’s just unlocked the secret to the universe. "I mean, flowers solve everything, right?" His grin is infectious, lighting up his entire face as he glances between Jungkook and Jimin for validation.
Jimin, lounging across from him with a barely concealed look of skepticism, raises an eyebrow. "Come on, Hyung. Y/n owns a flower shop. Do you really think giving her flowers would be anything other than redundant? That’s like giving a baker bread... or... or a mechanic spare tires. Think it through." He crosses his arms, leaning back smugly as if he’s already won the debate.
Jungkook remains silent, his attention absorbed by the bike in front of him, polishing it. The rhythmic motion of his cloth on the metal feels almost meditative, but inside, a storm brews.
It's been a week since you stormed out of his shop, and the silence between the two of you has only amplified the weight of his regret. Every word that Yoongi had said to him echoes in his mind... Yoongi's disappointment, his advice, and his harsh yet caring words.
He knows now, with absolute clarity, that he can’t keep doing what he’s been doing. Avoiding, running, pushing you away... it was never just about protecting you, it was also about his own fears. And Yoongi was right... he needs to stay. To show you, not just with words but with actions, that he’s in this. Fully. Wholeheartedly.
Meanwhile, Hoseok and Jimin continue their back-and-forth, brainstorming creative suggestions for Jungkook to make it up to you.
Jungkook doesn’t respond, his thoughts spiraling as he grapples with how to make things right and undo the damage he’s caused. He’s been giving you space, knowing you probably need time to cool off.
But he can’t stop himself from wondering. How are you holding up? Are your wounds healing? Are you still angry with him? Do you still hate him? The questions gnaw at him relentlessly, each one heavier than the last.
Every moment without you feels like a thousand lifetimes, and the weight of his inaction is suffocating. His silence, his avoidance… it’s all been one colossal mistake. He loves you too much to keep fumbling this, and after you poured your heart out to him like that, doing nothing would only cement the fact that he’s the biggest idiot on the planet.
Yoongi was right. Jungkook needs to be with you, not just in the easy moments but in the tough ones, too. He needs to be the person who gives you peace, not the one who makes you question everything.
As Jungkook continues his silent contemplation, Hoseok and Jimin’s bickering grows louder, their voices rising as they try to outdo each other in the "perfect apology to Y/n" department.
The two suddenly pause when the sound of the shop door opening cuts through their debate. All three heads snap towards the entrance, and they see Yoongi walking in, his expression as calm and unreadable as ever.
He cracks his neck, adjusts his shoulders, and strides towards Jungkook. Without a word, he reaches into his pocket, pulls out a pair of keys, and tosses them at Jungkook.
Still seated by the bike, Jungkook barely manages to catch them with his greasy hands. He looks down at the keys, confusion flickering across his face. “You… you got my bike back?” he asks, his voice laced with disbelief, his brows furrowing as he lifts his gaze to Yoongi. “Hyung… how did you—?”
Before he can finish, Yoongi shakes his head, cutting him off with a raised hand. “You don’t have to worry about it.” he says, his tone firm. “Just focus on making things right with Y/n. And listen to me carefully... don’t even think about getting involved with Mingyu again. I’m serious, Jungkook. No second chances there.”
The warning in Yoongi’s voice is enough to make Jungkook nod, a mix of gratitude and guilt bubbling in his chest. Yoongi’s sharp gaze briefly sweeps over Hoseok and Jimin, and with a subtle nod in their direction, he turns and heads towards the storeroom.
“Damn, Yoongi-hyung is so cool.” Jimin mutters under his breath, sounding almost awestruck.
“Anyways, like I was saying…” Hoseok begins again, picking up right where they left off, as though the brief interruption never happened. In no time, the two are back at it, listing an increasingly sappy and downright cringey array of suggestions for how Jungkook could apologize to you, the ideas growing more and more outrageous by the second.
Jungkook shakes his head, tuning them out as he looks down at the keys in his hand. He knows that none of their over-the-top plans will work. If he wants to make things right with you, he has to do it his own way... authentic, heartfelt, and real.
He needs to let you know how much he cares, how much he wants you in his life, and how deeply he loves you. No grand gestures or flashy displays. Just him, making it right.
As the minutes tick by, Jungkook finishes working on the bike in front of him. He wipes his hands clean, his mind already racing with thoughts of how to approach you. Just as he’s about to step away from the bike, the shop door creaks open again, drawing everyone’s attention.
This time, it’s Mr. Kwon, the town head, stepping inside. “Hey, boys.” he greets warmly, his gaze sweeping across Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook. Yoongi steps out, emerging from the storeroom and raises an eyebrow in curiosity.
“Oh, Mr. Kwon…” Yoongi says, folding his arms as he leans casually against the wall. “What brings you here today?”
“Ah, nothing too pressing.” Mr. Kwon replies calmly as he fixes his suit. “I just wanted to inform you boys about the meeting at the townhall this Friday. The agenda is to discuss the upcoming community drive-in movie night that will be happening on Sunday. It’s an annual event we do for fun and fundraising.”
“A drive-in movie night?” Hoseok’s eyes light up, leaning forward with genuine excitement. “I didn’t even know we did things like that around here! That sounds amazing.”
“It’s one of our most cherished traditions.” Mr. Kwon explains with a nod. “We set up a big screen on the old field just past Main Street. Everyone gathers in their cars, bring snacks, and enjoy the movie under the stars. It’s also a way to raise money for community projects. Last year, the proceeds went towards renovating the public library.”
“Oh wow, that sounds amazing!” Jimin chimes in, his tone enthusiastic. “Do people suggest the movie beforehand, or do you just pick something classic?”
“We like to keep it democratic.” Mr. Kwon replies with a chuckle. “That's why there's a meeting. People pitch ideas, and then we take a vote. It keeps everyone involved and ensures we pick something most people will enjoy. Last year, it was Back to the Future. Quite a hit.” he explains and the boys nod, giving him approved hums.
“So it would be great if you boys showed up on Friday.” he adds, glancing around at the group. “We could all sit down and decide what to watch together.”
“Of course, Mr. Kwon. We’ll be there.” Yoongi says with a small smile, straightening up from his casual stance. Hoseok and Jimin eagerly nod in agreement, their excitement evident. “Well then, I’ll see you all on Friday.” Mr. Kwon says warmly, before stepping out of the shop.
As the door shuts close, the shop falls into a brief silence. Jungkook, who has been standing still the whole time, listening to the exchange without a word, finally moves. He steps away from the bike and towards the counter, his expression thoughtful.
The town meeting. He wonders if you’ve heard about it too and the idea of you being there stirs a mix of anticipation and unease in him. Just the thought of seeing you, after everything, makes his chest tighten and his head spin.
//
"So, you're gonna go back to the shop from next week?" Seokjin asks, gently placing the dinner he just prepared onto your small dining table. His voice is calm, but the concern in his eyes flickers as they briefly land on your bandaged hand.
You nod, offering a faint smile. “Yeah. I can’t just sit at home any longer.” you reply.
You’ve just returned from the hospital with your friends after getting the stitches removed from your head. You glance down at your hand, where the injury is slowly starting to heal.
Thanks to Taehyung and Namjoon, the repairs of your shop have been completed... each detail meticulously taken care of, with them keeping you informed every step of the way.
Over the past week, your friends have been your unwavering support. They’ve cooked for you, comforted you, and stayed by your side, especially after you opened up about everything that happened with Jungkook. They didn’t have all the right words, truth be told, there weren’t any, but their presence alone was enough to carry you through.
You’re not okay, not completely. But you’ve begun to accept the harsh reality that maybe… just maybe… things with Jungkook aren’t meant to be.
That thought cuts deep, especially considering how he hasn’t reached out since that moment. Perhaps you were too harsh, too out of line when you called him a coward, even though all he wanted to do was protect you.
Yet, a part of you still feels a seething anger. You miss him, more than you care to admit and the emotional storm inside you leaves you confused, raw, and aching.
"Also..." Taehyung starts, catching your attention as you glance at him from across the table. "Mr. Kwon called all of us for a meeting at the townhall this Friday." he says, his voice steady but with a hint of excitement. Juwon nods in agreement. "Yeah. It's about the drive-in movie night." she adds.
You’ve known about the drive-in movie night for a while, and you expected it to happen soon, just like it always did every year. When things became official between you and Jungkook, you’d often daydreamed about the two of you sitting together in a car, hands intertwined, sharing pretzels and popcorn while watching a movie.
You never mentioned it to him. It was just one of those scenarios you let your mind wander to. But now, that dream feels like a bitter memory, especially with how things ended between you and him.
Still, despite everything, you know you want to attend. You’ve always enjoyed participating in these fundraising events with the people of your town, and the thought of missing out doesn’t sit well with you. "Will you be coming?" Namjoon asks carefully, his gaze soft and understanding.
You smile at him, your heart a little lighter, and nod. "Of course. Let’s all go to the meeting together." you say, glancing around at your friends.
//
Friday sneaks up on you, and before you know it, you, Juwon, and Taehyung are strutting down the pavement towards the townhall. Juwon has her arm looped through yours, clinging tightly to you like a koala. “It’s freezing!” she whines, shivering dramatically.
“It’s not that bad.” Taehyung says, hands in his pockets. “You’re just overly dramatic.” he shrugs. “Says the guy who wears four layers when it’s below 20 degrees.” Juwon fires back.
Taehyung gasps in mock offense. “Excuse you, I’m fashionably layered, thank you. There’s a difference.”
The chilly banter keeps you distracted until you step inside the townhall. Almost immediately, Mrs. Han spots you. “Y/n!” she exclaims, rushing over. Before you can blink, she’s holding your arms and scrutinizing your face like a worried mom.
“How are you, dear? My goodness, look at this scar. Oh, those boys! Nasty, nasty boys!!” she huffs, her face scrunching in outrage. You smile weakly, trying to reassure her. “I’m doing better now, Mrs. Han. Really.”
She shakes her head, unconvinced. “Better? Better?! I heard they just had to pay a fine. A fine! That’s like paying for parking after committing a hit-and-run. Absolutely ridiculous! I hope karma runs over them with a dump truck.”
Juwon chimes in, nodding furiously. “Preferably a truck full of cow poop.” she says and Mrs. Han agrees with her, her expression serious. You bite back a laugh, trying to keep it together. “Thank you, Mrs. Han. I appreciate your concern.”
As you inch away, you pass more familiar faces, each one stopping to check on you. The flood of questions and well-meaning outrage is almost too much, but you manage to navigate through the crowd and find Namjoon and Seokjin, who’ve saved seats for all of you.
You plop down in the chair, letting out a dramatic sigh. “I’ve survived the auntie inquisition.” you say. Namjoon chuckles. “You’re braver than I am. Mrs. Han once interrogated me for twenty minutes about why I don’t eat enough spinach.”
Seokjin smirks. “Spinach is important. Haven’t you seen Popeye?” Before you can retort, Taehyung slides into his seat. “So, what movie are we voting for? I say Shrek. It’s a masterpiece.” he says. Juwon groans. “Taehyung, not everything can be solved with ogres.”
“First of all....” he replies, raising a finger. “Shrek is a cinematic masterpiece. Second of all, it’s funny, heartwarming, and has layers. It’s perfect.”
Namjoon shakes his head. “I’m betting on something classic, like Forrest Gump. You know, a movie that makes you think about life.”
Seokjin snorts. “More like a movie that makes you think about shrimp. Shrimp gumbo, shrimp soup, shrimp salad…” he says as Taehyung giggles. “Okay, but what about Mean Girls?” Juwon suggests. “Everyone needs a little high school drama now and then.”
“Oh my god... I can quote that entire movie.” you add with a grin. “So fetch.” you say, winking at your friends. Taehyung dramatically raises an eyebrow. “Stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.” he beams and the group bursts out laughing, and for the first time in a while, you feel a little lighter.
While you and your friends continue to laugh, Jungkook lingers by the entrance of the townhall, his gaze fixed on you. He notices the absence of the bandage around your head, the way your laughter fills the room, and the brightness in your smile that feels almost contagious.
It’s such a stark contrast to the image burned into his mind from a week ago... your pain, your tears and though he knows he isn’t the reason for that smile or your happiness, he feels a quiet relief seeing you like this.
“Stop staring.” Jimin’s voice cuts through his thoughts, low and teasing. He nudges Jungkook with his shoulder, breaking his trance. “You’re not exactly subtle, you know.”
“I wasn’t staring.” Jungkook mutters, his jaw tightening slightly. “Sure, sure.” Jimin retorts with a smirk, gesturing towards the hall. “Now move, loverboy. People are trying to get in.”
Reluctantly, Jungkook steps further inside. As he walks past your group, your laughter rings out again, soft and warm. It tugs at something deep inside him, bittersweet and impossible to ignore. He glances at you briefly, the temptation to linger overwhelming, but you or none of your friends notice him. Maybe that’s for the best.
He follows Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi to the back, where they quietly settle into one of the last rows. Slumping into his seat, Jungkook sneaks another glance your way.
You’re surrounded by your friends, immersed in their lively chatter, and for a fleeting moment, he lets himself just observe. Seeing you like this... laughing, smiling... is somehow enough to ease the ache in his chest, even if he’s not the reason behind your happiness.
For now, that will have to be enough, at least until he musters up the courage to finally talk to you.
Eventually, Mr. Kwon steps onto the dais, commanding the room's attention with his usual calm authority. He begins the meeting, and as expected, what follows is a spirited and seemingly endless debate about which movie to screen for the drive-in event this Sunday.
Suggestions fly across the room, each met with enthusiastic agreements or vehement objections. Some champion a nostalgic classic, while others argue for something modern and thrilling.
The discussion grows lively, with raised hands, animated gestures, and occasional laughter rippling through the crowd. Mr. Kwon, ever the patient mediator, lets the town hash it out, his steady gaze sweeping over the sea of opinions.
Eventually, a consensus is reached... a fun, family friendly timeless classic that everyone agrees will be perfect: The Parent Trap. Satisfied murmurs fill the air as Mr. Kwon finalizes the details, his booming voice carrying over the low hum of excitement.
As the meeting concludes, the energy in the room begins to shift. People gradually drift towards the exits, chatting in clusters as they wrap up their conversations.
Your friends are caught up in their own moments. Namjoon stands by the side, deep in conversation with the grandpa from the bookstore, their voices low and amiable. Taehyung and Juwon hover near Mrs. Han, listening intently as she animatedly recounts some anecdote. Seokjin, ever the comedian, laughs with one of the local kids at the back.
You find yourself standing quietly amid the bustle, a small pocket of stillness in the lively atmosphere. You have the sudden urge to take a moment for yourself, just to step out and catch a breather.
The noise and movement of the hall fade into the background as you quietly slip towards the door, seeking the cool embrace of the evening air.
You walk carefully away from the town hall, the faint hum of voices and laughter fading behind you. The soft glow of the streetlights reflects off the pavement, casting long, quiet shadows that stretch into the night.
Eventually, you spot a bench nestled under a tree, just far enough from the hall to feel secluded but close enough to hear the occasional burst of laughter from the remaining crowd.
Without hesitation, you make your way towards it, the crisp evening air brushing against your skin. Taking a seat, you lean back, exhaling slowly as you let the weight of the day settle over you.
Despite the lively meeting and the buzz of energy around you earlier, your mind has been elsewhere, caught in an endless loop of memories and emotions. Back at the meeting, while the townsfolk were fervently debating over the movie choices, your gaze had wandered... and landed on him.
Jungkook was sitting at the back, his figure partially hidden behind the other people. At first, you weren’t even sure it was him, but when you caught sight of his side profile, the way his hair framed his face, you knew. For a fleeting moment, your eyes lingered on him, drawn like a magnet.
You don’t know if he noticed you, he gave no sign that he did. But just seeing him was enough to stir something deep within you... a longing you’ve tried so hard to bury.
The memories, the outburst, the ache of everything, all of it came rushing back with a vengeance. You miss him. Not just in the quiet moments when you’re alone but even in a room full of people, with laughter and chatter all around, you still miss him. So much.
A soft sigh escapes your lips as you close your eyes, surrendering to the quiet embrace of the evening. The breeze whispers across your skin, cool and gentle, carrying with it the faint scent of the earth after dusk.
Above you, the leaves sway softly, their rustling a rhythmic lullaby that contrasts with the chaos unraveling in your mind. Thoughts you’ve tried to bury rise to the surface, each one heavier than the last. You let them swirl and settle, the weight of them pressing against your chest.
For a brief moment, you allow yourself to simply feel, untangling the knots of emotions that have been wound too tightly for too long. Then, the faintest shift in the air pulls you back. It’s subtle at first, almost imperceptible, but it grows... the unmistakable presence of someone nearby.
Your eyelids flutter open, hesitant, as if you’re afraid of shattering the fragile stillness around you. When your gaze shifts to the side, your breath catches.
Jungkook stands a few feet away, the soft street light casting delicate shadows across his face. His expression is unreadable at first, but his eyes… they speak volumes. They hold a hesitance, a yearning, and something deeper... something that pulls at the threads of your heart.
You blink slowly, your pulse quickening. “Y/n…” he murmurs, your name falling from his lips as though it’s a prayer, fragile and reverent, laden with everything he can’t say.
The sound of his voice sends a shiver down your spine, and instinctively, you look away, unable to meet his gaze. The emotions surging within you feel like too much... sharp, raw, overwhelming.
Without a second thought, you rise from the bench, the sudden need to put distance between you and him overtaking all reason.
You move quickly, your feet carrying you past him. The weight of his presence feels unbearable... the memories, the words exchanged, the vulnerability you showed him, all crashing over you like waves. Each step you take feels like an attempt to outrun the past, to escape the heaviness that standing before him seems to evoke.
But Jungkook doesn’t let you go.
Before you can get far, his hand reaches out, firm yet gentle, catching your wrist. His fingers curl around it, his touch warm and grounding. “Wait…” he says, his voice louder now, tinged with desperation. You freeze, your heart pounding against your ribs.
Jungkook stares at the back of your head, his breath shallow, his heart drumming in his ears. The warmth of your skin beneath his fingers feels like a tether, keeping him steady even as his emotions threaten to overwhelm him.
“Please…” he repeats, softer this time, his voice cracking as though each word costs him something. There’s a vulnerability in his tone, a rawness that slices through the storm in your mind and roots you in place.
You don’t turn around. The silence stretches, settling heavily between you. You feel his hand slip from your wrist, the absence of his touch as startling as its presence.
For a moment, you hear nothing but the faint rustling of leaves and the distant hum of life in the town. Then, his footsteps draw closer. “Y/n…” he says again, his voice steady but achingly tender. “Would you please look at me?”
You take a deep breath, your chest tightening as you will yourself to move, to do something but your body refuses to obey. You remain still, a statue carved from conflicting emotions, unable to summon the strength to face him.
Feelings of embarrassment and awkwardness surge through your veins because, frankly, you don’t know how to look him in the eye after the way you unraveled last week.
But beneath the vulnerability lies another emotion... a flicker of anger. A part of you is still just a tiny bit mad at him, for how he handled everything. For the way he didn’t show up when you needed him most, for the way he shut you out when all you wanted was to be let in.
And now, standing here, completely unprepared and caught in the unrelenting pull of his gaze, you feel trapped. The hurt, the resentment, the yearning... they all collide within you, creating a maelstrom of emotions that leaves you frozen.
So, you do nothing. You let the silence hang, your feet rooted to the ground as you wrestle with the chaos inside.
Minutes pass, or perhaps it’s only seconds... time feels warped, stretched thin under the weight of the silence. And then, suddenly, you feel his arms carefully snake around your waist, the movement almost hesitant, as though he’s unsure of his place.
Your breath hitches as he gently pulls you back, his chest pressing firmly against your back. His warmth envelops you, seeping into your skin, and his breath grazes the curve of your neck, soft and uneven, carrying with it the weight of emotions he can’t put into words. There’s a fragility in his touch, a silent plea, as if he fears that holding on too tightly might cross a line.
Your body stiffens at the contact, every nerve igniting under the intensity of his presence. His touch burns through you like a fire, its heat both searing and soothing, a contradiction that leaves you reeling. For a second, you sway on the edge of surrender, the thought of leaning into him tugging at the corners of your mind.
“Y/n…” he whispers, your name tumbling from his lips, heavy with sorrow and regret. His voice quivers, faltering as the words fight their way out. “Please, just… just give me a chance to explain myself. I’m… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry... sorry for everything.” he says, his tone raw and husky, cracking under the weight of his emotions.
You feel his arms tighten around you, as if afraid you might slip away. The grip is firm yet tender, grounding yet fragile, and you close your eyes, surrendering—if only for a moment—to the storm of emotions stirring within you. Almost involuntarily, you lean into him, your body finding solace in the warmth of his embrace.
Time seems to still as you stay there, the world outside fading into an indistinct hum. Slowly, your hand rises, hesitating before it rests gently on top of his where it rests on your stomach.
You inhale deeply, the steady rhythm of his breath against your shoulder grounding you, even as your heart pounds furiously against your ribcage.
For now, you allow yourself this momentary indulgence... to bask in the bittersweet safety of his hold, the unspoken solace of his touch, and the ache of longing that lingers between you.
“You could’ve reached out…” you whisper, but it cuts through the stillness. Jungkook stiffens behind you, his grip faltering ever so slightly at the sound of your voice. “You could’ve called, you could’ve texted…” you continue, your words trembling under the weight of everything.
Slowly, you flutter your eyes open, the reality of the moment settling in like a quiet storm. “But you didn’t, Jungkook.”
He says nothing, his silence deafening, and for a second, the unspoken emotions between you feel suffocating.
Then, as if the universe conspires to tear you apart, your phone buzzes in your pocket. The sharp vibration feels like a cruel reminder of the world waiting outside this fragile moment. You don’t even check the screen... you know it’s probably one of your friends, calling to ask where you disappeared to.
You seize the interruption as an excuse. Gently, with the hand that rests on his, you grasp his wrist and peel his arms away, stepping out of his hold. “I… I have to go.” you say, your voice barely holding steady as you take a step forward.
You don’t turn to face him... you can’t. If you do, you know you’ll crumble under the weight of his gaze, those deep, expressive eyes.
You pause for a moment, teetering on the edge of staying, of turning back. The urge to look at him, to search his face for answers, nearly consumes you. But you don’t. You inhale sharply, steeling yourself, and before he can say or do anything to stop you, you’re gone.
As Jungkook watches you walk towards the town hall again, he stands frozen, realizing just how crucial timing truly is. How he should have seized the opportunity to make things right, especially when you came running to his shop, pouring out everything that had been frustrating you.
How, instead of fighting Mingyu, he should have been by your side at the hospital.
How, from the very beginning, he should have set aside his pride and admitted to himself that he liked you all along instead of being mean and hurting you with his words.
Timing. It’s always about the damn timing.
But somehow, even now, as the chance to run after you and stop you slips through his fingers, he remains rooted to the spot like a statue, trapped by his own hesitation.
//
You sit in your apartment, tapping your foot against the floor, the faint rhythm filling the otherwise quiet room. You glance at your phone to check the time— 7:14 PM.
It’s Sunday evening and tonight is the night of the drive-in movie and Namjoon had promised to pick you up, along with your other friends. With the movie scheduled to start at 7:30 PM, worry begins to creep in as the minutes tick by with no sign of your friends.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, you get up from the couch. Deciding to head downstairs, you grab your shoes, figuring it’s better to wait outside rather than pacing your apartment like a caged animal.
Just as you slip them on, your phone buzzes with a message from Namjoon. “Here.” it reads. A small smile tugs at your lips as you grab your keys and step out, locking the door behind you.
As you step outside your building and onto the pavement, you immediately spot Namjoon’s car parked across the street, its tinted windows glinting under the lights. You allow yourself another smile, shaking your head lightly at his lateness, and make your way towards the car.
“Hey, what took you so lo—” The words catch in your throat, fading into silence as you open the car door and slip halfway inside. The face behind the wheel isn’t Namjoon’s.
You freeze, your hand gripping the edge of the doorframe, one foot still planted on the pavement outside. The air seems to thicken, time itself grinding to a halt as you stare at him.
Jungkook sits there, hands gripping the steering wheel, his dark eyes fixed on you with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. “Hey.” he says, his voice low and cautious. He offers a tight-lipped smile, but it falters, and you can see the tension in his jaw.
You blink, the shock rendering you immobile for a moment too long. Finally, your instincts kick in, and your body shifts as if to retreat. But Jungkook moves faster.
His hand reaches out, gently but firmly catching your wrist. “Wait.” he pleads, his voice suddenly louder, tinged with desperation. “I know… I know I’m the last person you expected to see.”
Your chest tightens, a flood of emotions crashing over you all at once. But his words stop you. “I know I screwed up...” he continues, his voice softer now, almost trembling.
“But… can you just... please... stay? Just watch the movie with me tonight. I… I begged your friend to let me borrow his car because I knew you’d get in if you thought it was him. I know that was weird and probably selfish, but I didn’t know how else to approach you.”
Your lips part, but no words come out. His hand, still holding your wrist, is warm, as your thoughts spiral. “I just… I need to talk to you. To be near you.” he says, his eyes searching yours, his vulnerability raw and unguarded. “Please... Please just give me this one night. One chance to make things right.”
The sincerity in his voice is undeniable, cutting through your walls like a blade. For a moment, you can only stare at him, your heart hammering in your chest.
With a heavy sigh, you shift your leg inside, settling into the passenger seat. You pull the door shut with a soft click, leaning back against the seat as you let out a shallow breath.
Jungkook watches you carefully, his grip on the steering wheel easing just slightly as relief washes over him. The tension in his shoulders loosens, though his eyes remain cautious, as if afraid one wrong move might shatter the delicate moment.
Without another word, he starts the car. The engine hums to life, filling the silence with its steady rhythm. As the vehicle begins to move, the atmosphere remains heavy, a mix of unspoken words and lingering emotions that neither of you dares to address... yet.
Your gaze remains fixed on the passing scenery, a blur of streetlights and faintly illuminated signs. Jungkook doesn’t dare break the silence, his grip on the steering wheel firm, knuckles taut as if anchoring himself.
It doesn’t take long before the car turns onto a gravel path, the tires crunching softly beneath them. You glance up, your attention pulled from the window by the faint glow of string lights strung overhead. They stretch out like a welcoming canopy, casting a warm, golden hue over the open field ahead.
Rows of cars are parked neatly on the wide, open lot, their occupants huddled inside, watching the massive screen that towers at the far end. It’s the typical drive-in movie setup, just like it's done every year... a sprawling outdoor space surrounded by trees, with a concession stand glowing warmly off to one side.
The screen flickers, signaling the movie is about to begin. Jungkook steers the car into an empty spot towards the back, away from the denser cluster of vehicles gathered closer to the center.
He turns off the engine, and for a brief moment, neither of you move. The quiet hum of the field surrounds you as your gaze remains fixed on the screen ahead, watching the movie’s opening sequence unfold.
Jungkook hesitates, his fingers hovering over the radio knob. “I’ll tune it to the station for the movie.” he murmurs, his voice tentative, as if testing the fragile peace between you. He twists the dial slowly, stopping only when the audio from the movie fills the car.
You turn your gaze out the window, watching the faint glow of the screen flicker across your features. The scene outside is almost idyllic... random couples perched on the hoods of their cars, wrapped up in each other’s warmth, sharing snacks as they watch the film.
Your chest tightens as the image before you clashes with the one you used to picture... you and Jungkook, sitting together just like this, cuddled up with his arm draped over your shoulders, laughing softly as you both watch the movie.
The sting in your heart is sharp, but you force yourself to look away, willing the ache to subside. You shift in your seat, eyes reluctantly focusing back on the movie playing on the big screen.
Then, near the gearshift, a faint buzz catches your attention, and almost instinctively, your eyes flicker to Jungkook's phone resting in the console. It’s probably just a random notification, but that’s not what holds your gaze. It's his lock screen.
It’s a photo. Of you. The one he took on your first date, when he playfully tucked wildflowers into your hair and insisted on capturing the moment.
Jungkook notices your silence and follows your gaze. The second he realizes what you’re looking at, his lips part slightly, and he shifts uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. With a nervous twitch, he flips his phone over, as though the simple action could erase what you just saw. But he can’t erase it. And neither can you.
A quiet tension thickens between you both. Jungkook leans back against the seat forcing himself to watch the movie, his posture stiff.
You, on the other hand, can feel your cheeks burning, a strange warmth spreading through you at the realization that he kept a picture of you as his lock screen. Of that moment. A picture you had no idea meant that much to him that he wanted to see it every time he unlocked his phone.
The movie plays on, but the sound seems to fade into the background, your thoughts swirling, caught in a delicate web of emotions you can’t untangle. Finally, you can’t hold it in anymore. "So..." you start, your voice hesitant but soft.
Jungkook’s head snaps towards you, a startled expression crossing his face, but he doesn't speak, waiting for you to continue. You keep your eyes fixed on the screen, avoiding his gaze, though your heart races. "When are you going to start talking?" You ask, the words hanging in the air, laced with a quiet challenge.
Jungkook feels the air escape from his lungs, realizing he can't stay silent any longer. In that moment, he knows he's the one who needs to speak up. If there's any hope of mending things with you, he has to step up... take action, be bold, and stop running from what he’s been avoiding. He has to stop being the coward he’s been.
"I..." he starts, his voice wavering slightly at first. "I thought you wanted to watch the movie. So I was saving it for later." He forces the words out, trying to sound steady, but his gaze flickers nervously.
You turn your head towards him, meeting his eyes with an intensity that makes his chest tighten. "Do you really think I’m worried about the movie when you’re right here?" you ask, your voice soft but firm, your gaze never leaving his.
"Jungkook, you got me here tonight. You asked me to join you. The movie is literally the last thing I care about." Your words settle in the car, quiet but weighty, as though they’ve landed somewhere deep inside his chest.
Jungkook stares into your eyes, the warmth and longing there making his heart ache. His eyes flicker over the familiar details of your face, and it lands on the scar on your head, hidden behind strands of hair. His breath hitches before he finally exhales, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he struggles to find the right words.
"I... I don’t even know where to begin...." he murmurs, closing his eyes momentarily, as if trying to summon the courage. "I thought… I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I broke up with you, and if Mingyu didn’t see us together anymore, he’d leave you alone." He opens his eyes slowly, locking them with yours as if he can’t bear to look away now.
"I really thought I was protecting you." He falters again, the weight of his emotions pressing against his chest. "I... I just wanted to keep you safe. That’s what I told myself, anyway. But looking back, I can see how stupid that was. So... so stupid." he adds, his voice breaking slightly.
"I didn’t realize the damage I was doing until you came to my shop that night. It wasn’t until I saw how hurt you were that I finally understood... the full extent of my mistake."
His eyes glisten with regret as he speaks, his voice trembling. "I felt like the biggest idiot. I didn’t even visit you in the hospital. And to make things worse... I was away fighting with Mingyu. Part of me still believes he deserved it, but I made a promise to you, Y/n, that I wouldn’t let myself get into fights... and I broke that promise."
Jungkook pauses, the silence stretching between you as the weight of his words settles deeper in the air. His breath is unsteady, his chest rising and falling, and you can feel the tremor in his hand as it reaches for yours, the touch tentative and unsure, as if afraid you might pull away.
"When I saw what those guys did to your shop... when I heard about you in the hospital... all I could think about was how I... how I led you into all this misery. How I added so many problems to your life." he murmurs, his voice thick with guilt and regret.
"I felt... so guilty. And I thought that maybe, the best thing I could do was let you go. To set you free from all the pain, the stress, the problems... even though it tore me apart inside."
His grip on your hand tightens, the warmth of his touch desperate, as though holding onto you is the only thing grounding him. His eyes, filled with shame, never leave yours. "I thought that was the only way. That if I stepped back, you'd be better off. But now... now I see how wrong I was. So... so fucking wrong."
A tear slips down your cheek, and despite the pain in his words, your heart aches for him. You want to tell him how wrong he is, how you could never be better off without him, how being apart from him feels like the worst kind of torment. But you hold your silence, letting him speak, letting him pour his heart out.
"I love you. I always have... ever since we got together, a part of me realized what I feel for you... is just... so much more." Jungkook continues, his voice strained. His eyes meet yours again, this time soft and tender, like he’s asking for forgiveness without speaking the words.
"Y/n... I know I messed up. I’ve been reckless. My stupid actions, my irrational decisions... they were all driven by fear, not logic. And in the process, I hurt you." His voice cracks as he takes a deep breath, the pain in his chest evident. "I thought I was the reason for everything going wrong. That it was all my fault. And that thought... it just destroyed me."
His thumb gently brushes over your knuckles, as if he needs that small, silent touch to remind him you're still here. His gaze never wavers from yours, his heart laid bare and raw. "But now I know. In the name of trying to protect you, I ended up hurting you the most... and I will always, always hate myself for it."
The sincerity in his voice, the rawness in his expression, pierces through the tension in the air. And in that moment, it’s clear... Jungkook is not just apologizing. He's laying his soul out before you, vulnerable and broken, desperate for you to understand the depth of his remorse.
"I'm sorry, Y/n." Jungkook finally chokes out, his tears falling freely now. "I'm sorry for everything. I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t. I’m just... so sorry for everything." His voice breaks as the weight of his remorse crashes down, and he crumples under the enormity of it.
He cries, his shoulders shuddering, and through your own blurry vision, you see the raw vulnerability etched across his face. It’s almost unbearable.
Carefully, you move your hand from his and reach out for him. Your palm gently presses against his cheek as your thumb softly wipes away his tears. "Shh..." you murmur, leaning closer towards him.
The space between you feels like it vanishes as you slide your arm around his trembling shoulders, pulling him into a comforting embrace. Jungkook doesn't hesitate as he clings to you desperately, his arms wrapping around you as if you’re his lifeline. Both of you pull each other closer, the familiar embrace engulfing the two of you.
"I’m sorry." he whispers again, his voice muffled as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. You feel the dampness of his tears soaking into the fabric of your top, but you don’t care.
All that matters now is the way his trembling form feels in your arms, vulnerable and seeking solace. You hold him tighter, your hand stroking his back in gentle, soothing circles as he sobs against you.
"Please... please take me back." he begs between ragged breaths. "I'll be... I'll be good to you. I’ll stay by your side, and I’ll never, ever leave you alone again." His voice cracks, each word drenched in desperation.
You continue stroking his back, letting him cry into your embrace, your own heart aching at how broken he sounds. "Please, Y/n." he pleads, his voice trembling with hope and fear. "Please tell me you still love me."
"I do... I do love you, Kook." you respond almost instantly, the words spilling from your lips before you even realize it. There’s no hesitation, no doubt. Just the truth. "How could I ever stop?" you whisper, your voice soft but steady.
Jungkook’s breath hitches, and his arms tighten around you as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear. He tugs you closer, bridging whatever small gap still exists between you, the console between your seats now inconsequential. His tears fall harder, but his sobs quiet just a little, as if your words had patched a part of the gaping hole in his heart.
//
As the ending credits roll and the movie comes to an end, you glance down at your intertwined fingers resting on your lap. You lift your gaze to him, only to find his eyes already on you.
Both of you take in the sight of each other... red, puffy eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, swollen lips. Despite the emotional wreckage, a soft chuckle escapes your lips, and Jungkook follows suit with a faint laugh of his own.
"I missed you." he whispers, his voice hoarse but steady, his grip on your hand tightening as though to anchor himself to this moment. "I missed you too." you reply, lifting his hand to your lips. You place a gentle kiss on his knuckles, the warmth of the gesture carrying all the words you can’t seem to form just yet.
Silence stretches between you, but it isn’t uncomfortable. It feels like a pause before a fragile moment you both want to hold onto for just a little longer. "I could never be better off without you, Kook." you suddenly confess, breaking the quiet.
"These past few days have been a living hell for me." Your voice wavers, but you push through. "I understood your intentions... I really did. But all I ever needed was you. Just you. To hold me, to tell me everything would be okay, even if it wasn’t. That’s all I wanted."
Jungkook’s adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. He nods slowly, his glistening eyes brimming with understanding. "I know." he murmurs, his voice breaking slightly. "I know now. Yoongi hyung... he gave me a piece of his mind. He made me realize how wrong I was. How what you needed wasn’t someone to push you away in the name of protection, but someone who would stay. Someone who would stand by you when everything felt like it was falling apart."
A faint smile graces your lips as you hear his words. "He’s right." you whisper, your voice soft but resolute. Jungkook smiles in return, a small, fragile smile that carries the weight of his regret, the depth of his sorrow, and the immensity of his love.
Leaning over the console, you close the distance between you and press a gentle kiss to his lips. The kiss is soft, lingering, a balm to the wounds you’ve both carried. "I love you." you whisper against his lips, your voice barely audible but loud enough for him to hear the sincerity in your words.
Jungkook looks into your eyes and for a moment, it feels like his entire world revolves around you. You see the way his love for you shines through, raw and unfiltered, and it makes your heart ache in the best way.
When you lean back into your seat, Jungkook doesn’t let you go. This time, he leans forward, his hand cradling your cheek as he captures your lips in another kiss.
But this kiss... this kiss is unlike anything else. It’s not gentle, not cautious. It’s raw, consuming, and electric, charged with everything Jungkook has been holding back for far too long.
Regret seeps through his touch, sorrow lingers in the way his lips move against yours, but it’s love... overwhelming, all-encompassing love that takes over, folding you both into its intensity. And in that wordless exchange, there’s a promise, one you can feel in every breathless second.
You reach out instinctively, grabbing his wrist to steady yourself as the kiss deepens. The console between you feels like a meaningless barrier as Jungkook’s hands cup your face, his thumbs brushing your cheeks with a tenderness that contrasts the ferocity of his kiss.
He tilts his head, his nose grazing against yours, and the sensation sends a shiver racing down your spine. Your lips part slightly, inviting him in, and he doesn’t hesitate... his tongue brushes against yours, the intimacy making your head spin.
It’s dizzying, intoxicating, as though he’s trying to pour years worth of love, loss, and longing into this one moment. Every press of his lips feels like an apology, a plea for forgiveness, and a declaration all at once.
Your chest heaves as you match his fervor, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. You can feel the desperation in the way he holds you, as if letting go would shatter the fragile thread binding you both together again.
When he abruptly pulls away, his breath comes in ragged gasps, his forehead resting against yours. "If we… if we keep going, I won’t be able to stop." he confesses, his voice low and trembling with restraint. "I’ve missed you too much, Y/n... I've missed you way too much."
Your heart pounds against your ribcage, his words igniting a fire within you. You lick your lips, tasting him there, and your gaze locks with his. "Let’s go to my place." you whisper, your voice soft but certain.
For a moment, he looks at you, as though trying to convince himself this is real. Then, with a shaky exhale, he nods, his hand slipping from your face to intertwine with yours. He presses a final, lingering kiss to your knuckles before starting the car.
//
You yelp in surprise as Jungkook tumbles onto the mattress with you, his weight pressing you into the softness of the sheets while his lips remain locked with yours. The world spins for a moment, the intensity of the kiss leaving you breathless and disoriented.
He nips at your lower lip, a soft, teasing bite that sends a jolt of electricity through your veins. You can’t help the way your hips instinctively buck upwards, the friction sparking a low groan from deep within his chest.
Your top rides up in the movement, exposing a sliver of your skin to the cool air. His fingertips find their way there, cold against the warmth of your skin, and the contrast makes you shiver.
He helps you take your shirt off and his fingers return to feel your skin, his touch is purposeful yet hesitant. "God, Y/n." he breathes against your lips, his voice hoarse and filled with longing.
His forehead rests against yours for a brief moment, his heavy breaths mingling with your own. "You have no idea how much I’ve missed this... missed you."
His words make your heart clench, and you reach up to tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling him back down into another searing kiss. This time, it’s slower, deeper, filled with all the emotion neither of you could put into words.
His hands trail along your sides, reverent in their touch, while his lips leave yours to press a path of soft kisses along your jawline, your neck, and the sensitive spot just below your ear.
Your fingers grip his shoulders, and you can’t help but whisper his name... a plea, a confession, a surrender. And as he murmurs yours in return, his voice thick with emotion, you realize that this isn’t just a reunion, it’s a rebirth. A rebirth of everything this once was.
Jungkook pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes glistening with unspoken words. His thumb brushes tenderly against your cheek as he cups your face, his touch so delicate it feels like he’s afraid you might disappear if he lets go.
“This...” he whispers, his voice trembling slightly. “This feels like the first time I’m breathing again, Y/n. Like I’ve been holding my breath this whole time without you.” His words hit you with the weight of everything you’ve both endured.
Tears blur your vision, but you blink them away, wanting to see every inch of his face, to commit this moment to memory. “I don’t ever want to lose this again.” you reply softly, your voice cracking as you reach up to trace the line of his jaw. “I don’t ever want to lose you again, Jungkook.”
His lips curl into the faintest, most heartfelt smile, and he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “You won’t.” he vows, his voice steady now. “I won’t let go. I’ll hold onto you with everything I have, for as long as you’ll let me. I’ll prove it to you every single day.”
His words are a promise, one that you feel in the way his hands tremble slightly as they caress your skin, in the way his lips press against yours with a mixture of passion and reverence.
“I’ll let you.” you whisper back, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. “I’ll let you, as long as you let me hold onto you too.”
He kisses you slow again, as if he’s relishing every second of this rebirth. It’s not just a kiss... it’s an agreement, a merging of two hearts that have finally found their way back to each other.
Jungkook pulls back, his breathing heavy as he rises to his full height. His hands grip the hem of his shirt, and in one fluid motion, he tugs it over his head, tossing it aside without care. The sight makes your breath catch.
You prop yourself on your elbows, your eyes roaming over the expanse of his body, drinking him in like he’s a masterpiece come to life.
The faint sheen of sweat on his skin makes him glimmer faintly, accentuating every dip and curve, the sharp cut of his collarbones, the hard planes of his abs, and the faint v-line that disappears teasingly beneath the waistband of his boxers.
Your eyes linger on the way his jeans hang low on his hips, revealing just a sliver of the waistband of his boxers, and your throat tightens. You missed seeing him like this.
Jungkook catches the way your gaze darkens, and his lips quirk up in a faint smirk, though his own composure wavers when he sees the way you’re looking at him... like he’s the only thing that matters.
His dark eyes flicker down to you, taking their time as they trace the delicate curve of your collarbones, the way your bra frames your breasts, pushing them up just enough to make his mouth water. His gaze drops to your stomach, the smooth expanse of your skin, and the way your muscles tense under his scrutiny.
He exhales sharply, his hands clenching into fists at his sides as his gaze trails back up to your lips, then your eyes, his resolve crumbling. Your beauty just cannot be comprehended and his jeans suddenly feel unbearably tight, the outline of his hardened length pressing against the fabric painfully.
“Fuck...” he mutters under his breath, his voice low and strained, and you see the way his jaw tightens, the way his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. "If you keep looking at me like that..." he pauses, his eyes fixed on yours. "I'm going to lose it."
You gulp at his words and watch the way he steps back slightly, his hands moving to the button of his jeans. You watch as he undoes them with practiced ease, sliding the denim down his legs.
The thin fabric of his boxers does little to hide the extremely prominent bulge beneath, and your breath hitches as your eyes lock onto the way his hardened length strains against the material.
With one swift motion, he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and slides them down, letting them pool at his feet. His length springs free, thick and hard, and your mouth goes dry at the sight of him... veined and heavy, the tip glistening faintly in the dim light.
Jungkook’s chest heaves as he takes a step closer, his hands moving to your legs. He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your skirt, tugging it down along with your underwear in one smooth motion.
“Fuck, Y/n... look at you.” he breathes, his voice almost reverent. His gaze locks onto your glistening core, the way it clenches around nothing, slick with arousal that almost drips onto the sheets. He drags his bottom lip between his teeth, his pupils blown wide as he takes in the sight before him.
His hands tremble slightly as they settle on your thighs, his thumbs brushing over your skin. “You’re... perfect.” he whispers as he leans in, his lips grazing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he takes a deep, shaky breath, the scent of your arousal making his head spin.
You whimper at the way he delicately touches you as you close your eyes, pressing your head against the mattress and your hands grasping for purchase on the sheets. "Fuck, Y/n…" he mumbles, his breath ghosting over your core and making you shiver. "Please... let me... let me taste you."
And before you can even form a coherent thought, he pulls your thighs apart and jerks you close until he’s right there, between your legs, his hot breath fluttering over your soaking wet core. “My gorgeous girl.” he murmurs, his eyes flickering up to yours as he drags a thumb through your folds.
He watches the way you bite onto your lower lip, your sweaty chest heaving, as he moves his hands up and down your slit. He notices the way you flinch at every movement, every touch. “So wet... So wet for me.” he groans, his thumb pressing against your clit.
Your jaw hangs open at the sensation and Jungkook wastes no time, diving in and pressing his open mouth to your slick center. You feel his tongue darting out, the wet glide of it sending sparks up your spine as he licks a slow circle around your clit.
“Fuck....” you cry out, your hips jerking as his tongue teases your bundle of nerves, the rough drag of it on your oversensitive flesh making you see stars. Your hands fly to his hair, tugging at the strands as you try to hold yourself up, your head spinning with the sensations flooding through you.
Jungkook moans into you, his tongue flickering out again, this time dragging slowly along your slit. He nuzzles into you, inhaling sharply at your scent, and you feel his nose press into your folds, his breath hot against your core.
“Oh fuck.” you pant, your legs shaking as he presses an open-mouthed kiss to your pussy, his tongue sneaking out to flick at your clit, the tip of it fluttering against the sensitive bundle of nerves with a feather-light touch.
Your thighs begin to quake as Jungkook laves you open-mouthed, his mouth hovering over your slit, his tongue lapping at your entrance. "Kook… please... Kook..." you plead, your voice cracking with need.
He looks up at you then as his mouth remains fixed on your core, and the sight takes your breath away. His eyes are heavy-lidded as he watches you. Your lips part, your breaths coming in short pants as he opens his mouth wider, devouring your opening.
His tongue darts out, the wet tip of it flicking over your entrance, and then he’s pushing inside, his mouth closing around you as he eats you out like he’s a starving man and you’re the only sustenance that will satisfy him.
"Fuck, Kook !!" you cry out, your hands scrabbling at the sheets as your head falls back and your eyes roll into the back of your head. You moan, your thighs trembling around his head as he fucks into you with his tongue, his mouth pressed open-mouthed against your core.
Jungkook groans into you, the vibrations making you cry out again as he licks into you, his hands holding you open as he feasts on you. His tongue flickers inside you, curling as it brushes against your inner walls, the sensation of it making your vision blur.
He eats you out for what feels like an eternity, his tongue sliding in and out of you in slow, sensual strokes. You’re close, so close to the edge, your pussy clenching and aching for more.
The way his name falls from your lips, over and over, like a mantra, sends a shiver down Jungkook’s spine. His tongue moves against you with practiced precision, each stroke and flick timed perfectly to the rhythm of your desperate cries.
When your legs begin to tremble uncontrollably, your hips bucking against his mouth, he knows you’re close, teetering on the edge of release.
And then it happens. Your orgasm crashes into you with the force of a tidal wave, leaving you gasping for air, your thighs trembling around his head as you arch off the bed. Jungkook groans against you, the vibrations only intensifying your pleasure as his tongue delves deeper, tasting every bit of you.
The tight flutter of your walls around his tongue drives him to the brink of madness. He’s painfully hard now, the strain unbearable as he grips himself, stroking his dick in time with your cries.
His breaths come out in ragged groans, muffled by the way your legs tighten around his head, your hands tangling in his hair and tugging just hard enough to make him growl.
“You’re perfect.” he murmurs against you, his voice husky and reverent, though he doesn’t stop. His tongue moves in long, slow laps, consuming you, drawing out every second of your release as your body quivers beneath him.
When you finally begin to come down, your body going limp and pliant, he doesn’t immediately pull away. He kisses you there, soft and tender, his lips pressing against your sensitive core as if to soothe the aftershocks coursing through you.
Jungkook rests his forehead against your thigh, his breathing heavy and labored as he looks up at you with hooded eyes. His lips are glistening, his cheeks flushed, and the sight of him... disheveled and utterly wrecked from pleasuring you, makes you want him even more.
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, the sheen of your pleasure still glistening on his lips. His eyes meet yours, dark and smoldering with an unrelenting hunger that sends shivers coursing through your body.
Slowly, he leans forward, his lips brushing against your trembling thighs as though in reverence. His hands roam your hips, fingers pressing into the soft curves with a gentle possessiveness that leaves no doubt of his intentions.
“You’re so beautiful like this.” he murmurs, his voice thick with desire, tinged with awe, as if the sight of you unraveled beneath him is almost too much to bear.
He shifts his weight, moving away from your core, and you feel the absence of his heat like a loss. But then he’s hovering over you, his face so close you can feel his breath ghosting over your skin.
He captures your lips in a kiss that’s tender yet consuming, a prelude to everything he’s holding back. When he pulls away, it’s only to let his lips travel, a slow, meandering path along your jawline, each kiss lingering and full of love.
“I want to make love to you, Y/n.” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, yet the weight of his words presses into you as though they carry the force of a promise. “Let me make it up to you… for everything. Let me show you how much I love you.”
He doesn’t rush as he works to undo your bra, his hands steady. When the fabric falls away, his gaze locks onto your bare chest, and the intensity in his eyes makes your skin prickle with heat. His hands come up to cradle your breast, his thumbs brushing over the delicate curve of your skin and your nipple as though testing the reality of your softness beneath his touch.
“You’re perfect.” he breathes, the words spilling out like a confession before he lowers his head. His lips press against the swell of your breast, trailing kisses that are soft at first but grow more urgent as his need deepens.
His mouth finds your nipple, and he takes it between his lips, his tongue flicking over the sensitive peak in a rhythm that makes your breath hitch. His teeth graze ever so slightly, just enough to send a spark of pleasure rippling through you, and you gasp, your fingers tangling in his hair to hold him closer.
“Oh, God.” you moan, your voice trembling as he sucks on your nipple, his mouth working in perfect harmony with the hand that kneads and squeezes your other breast. His palm is warm, his touch firm but gentle, matching the worshipful pace of his lips.
Jungkook groans softly against your skin, the sound vibrating through you and adding another layer to the heady mix of sensations. He switches sides, lavishing the same attention on your other breast, and the deliberate care he takes makes your chest heave beneath him.
“Every inch of you...” he murmurs between kisses, his voice ragged and filled with adoration. “Every inch of you is mine to love.”
His words, his touch, the heat of his mouth... it’s all-consuming, drowning you in a storm of sensations that leave no room for thought, only the overwhelming awareness of him.
Your fingers clutch onto his shoulders as you arch against him, your breath coming in uneven gasps. Jungkook’s worshipful attention feels like a drug, intoxicating and overwhelming, and the heat pooling in your core is undeniable.
“Kook…” Your voice is shaky, a whispered plea, laced with desire and desperation. “Please… Please make love to me. I need you.”
The words ignite something primal in him. He pulls away from your chest, his lips glistening, a thin string of saliva trailing down his chin. His dark eyes fixate on you as you let your hands trail over your own body, fingers grazing the sensitive peaks of your breasts. You spread the remnants of his kisses over your skin, the gesture both sensual and wanton.
Jungkook gulps audibly as he watches you and his restraint shatters, his body thrumming with the need to claim you, to pour all his love and longing into this moment.
He shifts, stretching down the edge of the bed, his hands fumbling for his pants that remains scattered on the floor. His wallet slips out, and as he opens it, relief washes over him when he finds the condom he had tucked away weeks ago, back when you were still in his life.
He doesn’t question the serendipity, silently thanking the universe for this moment, for you.
With swift precision, he tears the wrapper, his fingers steady despite the fire coursing through his veins. He rolls the condom over his length and glides his hand up and down his hardness. Stroking it to full readiness, he lets out a shuddering breath, his eyes lifting to meet yours.
The way you’re watching him... your lips parted, your chest heaving, your legs spread in invitation, leaves him utterly undone. “Y/n…” he murmurs, crawling back towards you, his hands finding purchase on your hips. “I’m going to show you just how much I love you.”
"Show me, Kook..." you moan, your voice trembling with anticipation as his tip teases your slick folds. The sensation sends a shiver up your spine, and instinctively, you spread your legs wider, welcoming him, inviting him. He adjusts himself, his arms bracketing your head, his elbows pressed into the mattress to hold himself steady.
"I'm all... I'm all yours." you whisper, your voice breaking slightly, the vulnerability of your words hanging in the charged air between you. Your hands find his face, pulling him closer as you crane your neck, desperate to feel his lips on yours.
Jungkook doesn’t hesitate, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that’s both tender and consuming. His hand leaves the mattress, strong fingers gripping your hip as he adjusts your position slightly, angling you just right.
The intimacy of the touch makes your heart race, and you can feel the heat radiating off his body, the tension in his muscles as he restrains himself to not just slam into you. “You’re so perfect.” he murmurs against your lips.
His hand squeezes your hip gently as if grounding himself in the reality of you beneath him, of this moment. When he finally begins to push into you, the world seems to narrow down to just the two of you... the stretch, the way he fills you, the way he watches your face, searching for any sign of discomfort.
You gasp softly, your body tensing for a moment before relaxing into the pleasure of being connected to him in the most intimate way. Jungkook groans, his forehead dropping to rest against yours.
"Oh baby... I missed you... fuck..." he moans, his voice strained with effort, his breaths shallow as he inches deeper, giving you time to adjust to him. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him on.
Finally, he begins to move, each thrust slow and steady, as if he’s memorizing the way your body feels wrapped around him. His full length slides into you with precision, the stretch overwhelming yet addictive.
Your noses brush against each other with every movement, breaths mingling as he maintains his rhythmic pace, taking in every push, every thrust, every deep plunge that leaves you gasping for more.
Each time, he pulls out almost entirely, leaving you aching with the emptiness, only to push back in, filling you completely, sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body. It’s intoxicating, the way he moves, the care and passion in every motion.
As he continues, his gaze flickers over your face, watching the way your lips part with each gasp, the way your eyes flutter closed when the pleasure crests higher. He swallows hard, his resolve faltering for a moment before he adjusts his position. Carefully, he lifts one of your legs from his waist, guiding it to rest on his shoulder.
The new angle sends him deeper, hitting a spot within you that makes you cry out, your back arching off the bed as your fingers dig into his biceps. “Oh, Kook...” you whimper, your voice trembling as he leans into you, his body pressing you further into the mattress.
"That's it..." he murmurs, his voice rough with restraint as he watches your every reaction while supporting your leg on his shoulder. “You take me so well, baby....so... so fucking perfect.”
His other hand trails down to your hip, gripping it firmly as he begins to thrust a little harder, a little deeper, the pleasure building with every motion. The intensity grows, but he still takes his time, as if he’s savoring every second, every sound you make, every shiver that runs through your body.
The way he fills you, the stretch of your leg over his shoulder, the tender yet passionate way he moves... it’s overwhelming in the best way. Your hands slide down his arms, clutching at him desperately as he drives you closer to the edge, his pace unrelenting yet perfectly controlled.
“Jungkook...” you moan, your voice breaking as the tension in your core coils tighter and tighter. His name falls from your lips like a prayer, and he tilts his head, pressing a kiss to your ankle. “Faster… please… faster...” you cry out, your plea trembling in the air.
That’s all it takes for him to lose the last shred of restraint. With a growl low in his throat, he pulls you closer, his hands gripping your hips possessively as his pace shifts. His hips snap into you, each thrust harder and deeper.
Seconds blur into a haze of overwhelming sensation as he rams into you repeatedly, his tip brushing against a spot deep inside you... a spot you didn’t even know existed. The pleasure is all-consuming, stealing the breath from your lungs as your body arches into him, desperate for more.
Your vision blurs as you’re overtaken by the intensity, stars dancing behind your closed lids. “I love you… fuck, I love you so much.” he rasps, his voice raw with emotion and unfiltered passion. His hips move with an almost animalistic urgency now, his need for you reflected in every powerful thrust, in the way he fills you completely, over and over again.
The coil in your stomach tightens to the point of pain, an unbearable pressure building with every movement. Your hands claw at his shoulders, your head tossing back against the pillows as incoherent sounds pour from your lips, your body trembling beneath him.
“Jungkook… I’m… oh god…” you whimper, your nails digging into his skin as the pleasure pushes you to the brink, teetering on the edge of release that feels as though it might shatter you entirely.
Your nails dig into his shoulders, holding onto him as if he’s the only thing keeping you together. He groans at the sting of your touch, his hips slamming into you harder, deeper, as if he’s chasing the very essence of you.
“You’re... you're close, aren’t you?” he pants, his voice low and rough, sending a shiver down your spine. His hand slips between your bodies, his thumb finding your swollen, sensitive clit. He presses down with just the right amount of pressure, moving in firm circles that make your entire body jolt.
The combination of his thrusts and the attention on your clit sends you spiraling. Your legs tremble around him, and your walls flutter and clench tightly around his length. You cry out, your voice echoing in the room, your hands pulling him closer as if you want to fuse yourself to him.
“That’s it, baby... that's it... cum for me... let go.” he urges, his voice strained as he fights to keep himself together, his own release hanging by a thread. His thrusts grow erratic, each one deeper, harder, more consuming than the last, driving you closer and closer to the edge.
And then it happens. The coil in your stomach snaps, your orgasm crashing into you with a force that steals your breath. Your vision goes white, your entire body arching into him as waves of ecstasy ripple through you, leaving you trembling and crying out his name like a prayer.
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” Jungkook groans as your walls tighten around him, gripping him like a vice. The sensation sends him over the edge. He buries himself as deep as he can go, his hips stilling as his own release takes over, his groans blending with your cries.
The two of you ride out the aftershocks together, his forehead pressed to yours as your breathing mingles, heavy and uneven. The world feels still, the only sound in the room your shared pants and the faint thrum of your hearts, beating in perfect sync.
//
The soft glow of the bedside lamp casts a golden hue over your room, as your head rests on his bicep. Your fingers absentmindedly play with his as your eyes trace the intricate lines of his tattoos, the delicate patterns swirling along his forearm.
After the intimacy of a warm shower and the tender care Jungkook showed you, the two of you are back on the freshly made bed. The clean, cool sheets are a stark contrast to the heat that still lingers between you, your bare skin pressed to his.
His leg lazily drapes over yours beneath the blanket, an unconscious gesture that speaks of his need to be as close to you as possible.
Jungkook leans in, the weight of his gaze melting away any lingering tension. He presses a kiss to your temple, soft and lingering, before letting his lips brush against the scar on your head... a mark of something from the past, but no longer painful. “I love you.” he whispers, his voice low and full of sincerity.
You tilt your head back to meet his eyes, your own gaze softening. Slowly, you let go of his hand, shifting your body to face him fully. The blanket shifts with you as you wrap an arm around his torso, pulling yourself closer to him.
“I love you too.” you murmur, your voice steady, carrying the weight of your feelings. You move your head closer to his chest, listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart. His arms encircle you, tugging you closer and holding you as though he never wants to let go.
And in that moment, as the soft embrace of sleep slowly begins to claim both of you, there is a quiet realization that settles in the spaces between your breaths. It’s as though the universe, in its infinite wisdom, has woven the intricate threads of time, bringing you here.
From the days when you were nothing more than neighboring shop owners, each a stranger in the other’s world, to the sharp edges of misunderstandings, to the heated arguments that filled the air with tension. You both once couldn’t stand the mere sight of each other... two souls so different, so distant.
But somehow, through all of that, life found a way to stitch your paths together. From those moments of rivalry at the town fair meetings, when every second seemed to breed another reason for dispute, to this quiet, intimate space where the mere thought of separation feels impossible.
Now, neither of you can seem to imagine a world where the other doesn’t exist. It’s as though your lives were always meant to be interwoven, intricately and beautifully, like the finest of tapestries.
Life has a strange way of bringing two opposing forces together, testing them in ways they never expected, only to reveal the most beautiful of connections.
It pushes and pulls, and in doing so, helps them untangle the complexities of their relationship. It compels them to find the purpose behind their presence in each other’s life... why it was always meant to be, why the stars aligned, even when they didn’t know what they were meant to see.
And through the rough roads, where his rusty bike and prickly tires rattled against the cobblestones, and through the vibrant scent of flowers that lingered in the air, the softness of leaves brushing against your fingers, you both have found something more profound and beautiful than you could ever imagine.
Something that only exists when two souls, through time and struggle, find each other and discover the home they never knew they were looking for.
Post Credits Scene
Yoongi stands in the dimly lit alley, the old baseball racket twirling lazily in his hand. Mingyu, Kihyun, and Jaemin are slumped against the cold brick wall, their faces battered, their hair disheveled, fear radiating from their wide eyes.
The faint hum of a flickering streetlight overhead makes the silence between them even heavier. Yoongi crouches down, his sharp gaze locking onto theirs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “What did I say?” he asks, his voice calm but dripping with menace.
The men exchange nervous glances, their bruised faces pale under the weak light. Mingyu opens his mouth to respond, but a sharp pang from his injured ankle makes him wince and falter. Yoongi tilts his head, his smirk widening as he taps the racket lightly against the ground. “I’m waiting.” he says, his tone almost teasing.
“Never...” Mingyu manages, his voice hoarse, but the pain makes it hard to continue. “Go on...” Yoongi urges, his voice dropping an octave, the smirk now a warning.
“We’ll never bother Jungkook and Y/n again !!” Kihyun blurts out, his hands rubbing together in a desperate gesture, like he’s begging for mercy. Yoongi rises slowly, letting out a soft chuckle as he swings the racket onto his shoulder, causing all three men to flinch. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
The men dare to breathe, thinking the ordeal might finally be over. But Yoongi’s sharp eyes narrow as he steps closer, towering over them. The smirk vanishes, replaced by a cold, calculating look that makes the air feel oppressive.
“Now...” he says, his voice trailing off. “Do I have to beat you guys up all over again, or will you give me Jungkook’s keys?”
<- part 15
series masterlist
—fin. ♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ
my masterlist <3
taglist: @kimyishin @ghijkd @dolligguk @mimi1097 @jksusawife @yooforeaa @abbie1847 @myjungkookthighs @thesarcasmqueen-22 @fairypjminie @lovelytaes-blog @jjeonjjk7 @daddyjeonnn @vantelover1306 @jeeykey @shellyyy177 @daskewl @blackswan18 @korian97 @minimoninini @ericawantstoescape @rpwprpwprpwprw @tokkiggukie @jaytheatiny
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The Locker Room Horizontal Tango. | Touya x Reader Imagine 🌶
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UA Hero Course Touya x Support Course Y/N
Synopsis: An AU where Touya Todoroki is the top of the Hero Course at UA. He's hot, untouchable and and an absolute player - or so you think. The Reader is in the Support Course and often works on Touya's support gear and hero suit. After months of flirting back and forth, Touya initiates ridiculously steamy sex in the UA gym locker room. The sex is hot, but it seems he may have more than just fucking on his mind...
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The shower is filled with steam - blending seamlessly with Touya's snow white hair. He's positioned the shower head so that the steam of scalding water is tilted away from you both. The stall is comfortably warm, and droplets of hot water still manage to splash random parts of your body as Touya positions you - hands against the warm tile walls and ass up towards him. He bends you over and makes sure you have good footing on the shiny tile floor before he strokes at your entrance with his cock. You gasp and the sensation - his wet tip gliding against your clit once, twice, three times, aaaand...
"Fuck, Touya!"
He doesn't take his time when he slides inside of you. He just starts moving. You weren't expecting him to move so quickly, but it doesn't really matter because your pussy has been soaking wet since he made eyes at you across the gym from his bench.
"Slow down, Jesus Christ." You manage to choke out as he pistons his hips and thrusts into you without warning. You feel so full and the stretch is absolutely delicious, but you want him to take his time. You want him to take you apart as meticulously as he promised he would in your Instagram DMs the night before.
"No can do, doll. Gotta be quick - we can't get caught like this." He says casually, but you can hear him straining to keep his voice even.
Hooking up in the UA gym locker room showers is definitely an expulsion-worthy offense. So, yeah, he's probably right. Gotta keep this short and sweet.
You throw your hips back and flex your pelvic muscles around his hard cock, and you hear him hiss out a curse in reply.
"Shit."
"I can play dirty, too." You smirk.
"Yeah. Okay. Sure." You hear the grin in his voice as he gives you a deep thrust and brings down his palm flat across the meat of your ass. It's not a hard slap - in fact, it barely makes a noise. But the sheer act of him smaking you around pushes you off the deep end. He's so fucking hot and so totally out of your league.
He slides his hands up to grip your hips so he can pick up the pace even more.
"Ever have a cock this good, doll face? I bet you haven't." He teases, getting comfortable as he gets a good feel for your pussy. "Your such a studious little slut. Always updating my costume. Don't think I didn't notice what you did to my jumpsuit...you made it so tight on my fucking ass I can barely get it on." He wanders a hand to your left cheek and squeezes hard. You yelp at the sensation. "Yeah, that's how I feel every goddamn time I need to suit up for training now. Sucks, doesn't it?" He squeezes your butt again, more softly this time. He slows down his pace a bit, then gives you a single hard thrust. Jesus, his dick is going to split you in two. "Consider this punishment."
You groan. You were hoping he'd notice that little modification...
"An ass like that needs to be accentuated." You whimper out under your breath. "It was my duty as a support specialist to make your pants less baggy to show off that juicy peach."
"You fucking little minx." Touya is laughing out loud. You peer back over his shoulder and see him smiling down at you, eyes genuinely happy. You've never seen his expression so unguarded before - he's always scowling or looking devastatingly mischievous. But right now he just looks like a guy who's having fun.
"Oh, you wanna make eye contact?" He asks, and it's a genuine question. He's not joking around or mocking you. You nod dumbly as his hips still. His cock sits inside you for a moment, motionless except for a small twitch of arousal. "Alright, lemme figure this out." He pulls out slowly. Your pussy pulses with need when he's gone, empty and desperate for hero course cock.
He uses his big, strong hands to pull you upright, resting them gently at your hips. You stand there, staring at the tiled shower wall with your back to him. You feel hot all over as you feel his hungry eyes on your ass, your back, your shoulders. He's only ever seen you in a mechanic jumpsuit in the Support Course lab or in your school uniform. This is the most of you he's ever seen - and he loves it.
He slowly moves his hands upwards to run appreciatively up your curves, skin sliding easily across your shower-damp skin.
"Fucking gorgeous." He breathes out, pulling you flush against him. You yelp in surprise as you feel his hard cock erect against your bare ass, his muscled stomach and chest slick against your back. He brings his hands up, up, up and scoops at your breasts. "I've had my eyes on these for a while." He squeezes at your tits, bringing his thumbs to circle your pert nipples. You let out a tiny moan of pleasure.
"That feel good?" He whispers, bending his neck so that his breath ghosts along the shell of your ear. "You like it when I play with your tits? Answer me, sweetheart. Tell me what you like."
He's being gentle now, and you're unsure about it. It's a complete departure from what you were expecting, from the hard fucking he was just so confidently dishing out.
"I can keep going hard for you, or we can slow things down." He offers up. You weren't expecting that. "Come on, tell me what you want." He squeezes your breasts lightly, eliciting a shiver throughout your body.
"Y-yeah. I like it when you touch my tits." You breathe out under your breath. You try to remember where you are - it's a Saturday afternoon and the men's locker room showers are likely to get quite busy soon as your classmates finish their workouts. You can't afford to be heard.
"Then I'll keep doing it." Touya says, fondling your breasts with the confidence you'd expect of the sex god of Class 3B. He pinches at your nipples in the most deliciously sinful way as he plants a hot kiss to your flushed neck. "And how would you like it if I touched riiiiight..." He lets his right hand wander down the expanse of your stomach and waist, dipping a long finger towards your pussy. "here?" He finds your clit and begins to circle it slowly.
"Oh!" You try to keep your voice low and fail as you squeak out an embarrassingly shrill moan. "Yeah. Yeah I like that, too." He continues to play with your clit - he's so confident and experienced and it all feels so. damn. good. You wish it would never end. You wish you were more articulate during sex. You wish that Touya fucking loves you as much as he loves fucking. But your pussy clenches needily, desperate to be filled back up. A greater woman would enjoy the attention and focus on the sensations of the top Hero Course student's capable hands on them. But you're not a greater woman. You're fucking horny and cock hungry.
"Please, Touya. Fuck me?" You whine out, grinding your ass against his hard cock. He laughs into your ear, planting a kiss on your cheek before he steps backwards and away from you. He releases his grip on your boob and pussy.
"Yeah, I'll give you what you need babygirl. Let's get you that eye contact, too." He turns you around and in an instant has you pressed against the warm tiled wall. His body melts into yours and he leans down to press your lips together as well, his hot mouth inviting and soft. Your eyes flutter shut as you kiss him back, pressing years of want into the hot slide of your lips. You've been lusting after him since first year. Every time he asks for modifications to his hero costume you make sure you get assigned to his case so you have an excuse to talk with him, tease him, make him laugh...you've always hoped and prayed that he'd want you just as badly. But this is Touya Todoroki, the guy who's managed to simultaneously be the school's bad boy and top of his class. He has his choice of literally anyone at UA, regardless of gender. Why would he ever choose you?
Your brain slyly slurs out: "Well he's certainly choosing you right now, isn't he?"
Yes indeed - here you are, on the receiving end of Touya's amazing tounge as he deepens the kiss and grabs at your hips with greedy hands. His cock is hard against your belly, twitching with desire.
He breaks the kiss for a moment to whisper "Touch me, Y/N." before sealing your lips back to his in another electrifying kiss. You bring your shaking hands up and around his shoulders, feeling the hard muscles of his back and neck before deciding to explore his chest. You slide your hands between your bodies, placing your open palms against his hard pecs. You drag your hands slowly, slowly down his rippling abs and stomach and he groans into your mouth at the contact.
You continue to kiss him, the rhythm of your lips becoming increasingly erratic when your hand brushes against his throbbing erection. You try to stay confident as you wrap your dexterous mechanic hand around the base of his cock, shocked at how big he is. He's sticky - a mixture of precum and slick from being inside of you. Goddamn this is so fucking hot. You try not to get caught up in your head as you move to slowly jerk him off, your hand sliding from base to tip in a smooth motion. He breathes in sharply and breaks away from your mouth, burying his face into your neck as your hand glazes over the tip of his cock. You gain some confidence and slide your hand back down to the base. His breath becomes ragged as you work at him, paying extra special attention to the tip of his dick.
"God." He breathes out, his hips lightly bucking to urge you on. "If I had known you'd be this good to me, I would have fucked you a long time ago. I've always wanted to bend you over that stupid help desk counter at the Support Course Lab. Wanted to strip you out of that stupid neon orange mechanic jumpsuit you're always wearing." He's grumbling nonsense into your neck as you pick up the pace, putting all of your energy into giving him a great handjob. "Ah! Ah! I'm gonna need you to stop that, beautiful."
You slide your hand off of his dick and he plants a soft kiss into your neck before pulling away from you. He stares down at you with an incredulous look in his piercing blue eyes, chest rising and falling heavily. "Fuck, the things you do to me." He whispers through full lips, his eyes darting down to your tits and then back up to meet your eyes. Your stomach does a little somersault at all the keen attention he's giving you. Is there a chance...that he actually likes you?
He reaches down between you and spins his fingertip against your clit again, causing your pussy to throb hungrily.
"Let's get you taken care of." He breathes out quietly, his face a breath away from your own. He taps at your clit again and smirks as you shift your body towards him needily, desperate for him to provide some sort of relief to your aching pussy. You look up at him with pleading eyes.
"Yeah, I could really use your cock right now." You say in a desperate, slutty sort of voice. It's a voice that even you are surprised to hear coming out of your mouth. Touya gives you another genuine laugh and you find yourself entranced by the sound.
"Don't worry, I've got you." He scoops up your right leg and positions it so that your knee presses against your chest. He presses your bodies back against eachother and uses his free hand to push the head of his cock to your entrance.
This time, he takes it slow. This time, he makes sure you feel every fucking inch of him slide into you. He stares into your wide eyes with his own shockingly bright eyes, desperate to see every emotion that flickers across your face as you take his thick cock.
You moan as he bottoms out inside of you, your body is thrilled to be full and stretched like this. Fuck. If he asked, you'd be his little slut til the end of time.
But the vibe has shifted - it's no longer hot and heavy and desperate.
No, in this new position, Touya is fucking worshiping your body with every stroke. His eyes are laser focused on your face, his lips parted as he lets out these tiny sighs of pleasure with each thrust. He presses your knee up a bit more so he can get a better angle, shifting his hips from side to side so that he can get as much of his cock inside of you as possible.
You have no idea what to do or say, you've never had someone's attention this laser focused on you during sex. You feel like you'll combust under his gaze, under his touch. His cock feels so fucking good inside of your tight heat - the gentle way he's dragging it backwards before lightly thrusting it back inside is absolute heaven. He keeps up a steady pace for a few moments before he dips his head so he can bury it back into your neck. His arms wrap around you and he pulls you into his chest, your knee pressed between your two bodies as he continues to fuck into you softly.
Your so overwhelmed with the magic of it all you keep forgetting to breathe. You feel so comfortable pressed against him like this, his cock buried in you as far as it will go. Your orgasm builds with each thrust, a tense coiling of golden ichor in your core.
Touya seems to feel the same because he picks up the pace, groaning quietly into the soft flesh of your neck with every rut. "Fuck this pussy is good Y/N." He flexes into you, the tip of his cock hitting a gloriously deep spot inside of you. You feel your legs start to shake with the pleasure of it all.
"Touya. Touya. I think I'm gonna..."
"Yeah baby? Can you cum for me, pretty girl?" He moans into your skin, pressing wet kisses to the place where your neck and shoulder meet. Baby? Pretty Girl? Fuck.
The pet names drive you over the edge and you cum hard around his cock. Your pussy flexes and flares and absolutely consumes him as he fucks up into you.
"Oh fuck baby. Fuck Yeah. Shit." Touya mutters a string of expletives appreciatively as he feels your cunt flutter and squeeze around him as you cream. He slides his hands down to your waist and helps you ride out your orgasm with stuttering hips. Your gummy walls try to milk him for his baby batter and you feel his breath hitch. The tail end of your orgasm slips away, leaving you a twitching mess in its wake.
"Shit. Baby. Shit. I'm gonna cum." Touya breathes, thrusting into you hard before quickly scrambling to pull out of your slick heat. Your leg drops to the ground as he takes a quick step away, splattering your stomach with thick cum as he barely makes it out in time. You lean back into the shower tile, catching your breath as Touya stares at you with wide, fucked out eyes. He rubs out the last waves of his orgasm, dick quickly going soft in his hand as he stares at your gorgeous, shaky body.
"Woah." He breathes, releasing his hold on his cock and straightening up to stand. He runs his hands through sex-wild white hair, laughing a bit as he comes back to himself.
"Yeah, woah." You slide down to sit on the floor, absolutely exhausted and caught up in the afterglow of the best fuck you've ever had. You close your eyes and drop your head back against the wall and breathe in deeply, your breasts bouncing with the effort of it.
After a moment, he joins you, knocking his bare knee against your own.
The shower is still going next to you both, droplets of hot water bouncing off the tile floor and clinging to your skin in small splashes.
"Would you be up for doing that again sometime?" He asks, voice open and eager.
You crack open an eye and look over at him, bewildered.
"Seriously?" You say, not even bothering to hide the surprise in your voice.
Yeah, when Touya started sexting you via Instagram late last night you were hoping for a good hot fuck. But that was it. You know Touya's reputation, and you know he doesn't sleep with anyone more than once. Plus - he's wayyy out of your league. He's a hot shot future hero and you're the kind of side character who's always behind the scenes. Most of the hero course students barely notice you, even when you help with their support gear. You're not a main character, you're just a face in the crowd.
"Did you hear anything I was saying before?" Touya laughs incredulously. "We've been friends for like three years, haven't we? Ever since you started working on my support gear in our first year."
It's true that the two of you have been known to chat and discuss his support gear. You'll even grab lunch together every few weeks to chat through shared course work and the general UA curriculum. But this whole time you thought he was just buttering you up so you'd do your best when working on his hero gear. You're friendly with him, sure. You're friendly with a lot of people. It's part of being in Support - customer service and that sort of thing.
Hold on.
You think back to all of the memes he's sent you on Instagram, the times he's waved to you in the hall. The extra hours he's spent chatting with you while you tinkered with his support gear in the lab, the times he's snuck you extra sweets from Lunch Rush as a thank you for the suit modifications. Holy shit. You've been putting this guy on a fucking pedestal and this whole entire time he's been...trying to make you his friend!?
You give him a surprised look, eyebrows raised. Your mouth is trying to find words but you're at an utter loss.
"Y/N. You can't be serious. I've been trying to get your attention for literal months." He's giving you a look of bafflement. "I've been flirting with you forever. Like...every time I come to the Lab. My support gear has been working perfectly all year, didn't you notice that the cuff to my gloves kept breaking in the same spot? I literally have been taking it apart with a screwdriver every other week for an excuse to come back to the Lab to talk to you."
"Huh!?" Your brain is crashing out as it scrambles to think back to all the times Touya would show up to the Lab, sheepishly grinning as he showed you the latest way he's managed to break his support gear "during training."
"Y/N." Touya shakes his head in disbelief, then throws back his head and laughs - illicit locker room hookup be damned. You can't help but start laughing with him. "Come here." He stands up and hauls you to your feet.
The showers in the locker room are private and broken into two sections - a tiny curtained changing area that leads into the larger shower space. He opens the shower curtain to the cramped changing area to grab his gym bag. He unzips it and pulls out a washcloth alongside a ziplock bag filled with toiletries. He ducks back into the shower area where you're standing awkwardly, completely naked and still sticky from sex.
He reaches behind you to adjust the shower head so that it's back in place, and gently pushes you under the warm water. You feel your muscles relaxing under the hot steamy flow. You close your eyes and tilt your head back to wet your hair. You're exhausted and feeling such a complex mix of emotions - nerves at how you'll escape the men's locker room undetected, delight at the orgasm you've just shared with the hottest guy at UA, and surprise and excitement that Touya has been trying to pursue you all this time.
You let out a small "eep!" of surprise as you feel Touya slot himself behind you. He wraps his muscled arms around your body and squeezes you in a brief hug, before sliding a thick bar of soap across the plush skin of your stomach.
"Let's get you cleaned up." He says quietly, his voice a tickle in your ear as he dips to kiss your neck. He slowly soaps you up, bubbles of suds glinting across your skin in the low florescent light of the school shower. He touches you like you're something valuable, something to be cherished. It makes your heart feel like you might explode.
In a few minutes, you're squeaky clean. You've used some of the shampoo from the shower's soap dispenser to lather at your hair, and Touya's made short work of your body with soap and a washcloth. But he doesn't stop there. He kneads at your sore shoulder muscles under the hot water, laughing softly when you arch into his gentle touch. Who would have thought that Touya would be the king of aftercare!?
It's a quiet, intimate thing to be touched by Touya in this way. Even in your wildest Touya fantasies, you never let yourself dream that a post-coital Touya could be so sweet. You've only heard rumors of his reputation as a heartbreaker - he's always fucking and leaving. You don't even realize that you've said this aloud to him until he pauses in his gentle massage at the nape of your neck.
"Huh. Yeah that's a fair concern. Well...think of it this way. I have a lot of fuckin' goals. I want to be number one at school. I want to be the number one hero once we graduate. I've never had time for relationships or feelings or shit - but sex is fun. I tell everyone before I sleep with them not to expect anything more than a good fuck. It's not like I'm purposefully running around 'breaking hearts.' I'm upfront about what I want and what I can give."
"But..." You're not sure if you want to be having this discussion, you don't want to set yourself up for disappointment. You're confused about this whole situation and what it means. "You didn't tell me that. You didn't tell me not to expect anything more than sex. That's fine, though. I assumed this would just be a quick one-off thing." You say, sighing as he resumes rolling out your muscles with his capable fingers.
"Y/N." He huffs out a laugh, squeezing at your shoulders lightly. "I already said I want to do this again with you. In fact...Y/N I want to fucking date you. School schedule and hero shit be damed." He wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you against him. You feel the hard planes of his chest muscles naked against the skin of your back. You're covered in goosebumps at the skin-to-skin contact and at his unbelievable words. "I thought I've made it clear to you - I'm interested. I'm invested. I have been for a while." He sucks in a breath, and you realize that he's pitching you. This idiot is trying to convince you to let him date you. This is real insanity hours now - there's no way in a thousand years that you would have seen this coming.
Touya nuzzles his pointed, aristocratic face into your shoulder. The hot water continues to pour from the shower head, drenching you both in warmth. Your mind races - Touya Todoroki wants to date you!? Maybe you aren't just a face in the crowd, after all. You stay silent as you mull it all over. He fills the airspace the best he can: "I can't promise you I'll be any good at this relationship stuff...I've never done it before. But if you'll have me, I'll try to be the best damn boyfriend I can. Think about it - Touya Todoroki, number one in the class. Number one in your heart. Number one boyfriend. Has a nice ring to it, yeah?" He laughs, and once again it's that clear, unguarded sound that makes your heart squeeze.
"I'd like that." Is all you can manage to say. You're so overwhelmed - thoughts and question buzzing around in your head like a hive of angry bees. Loud bees. "I'm gonna need a hot minute to process all of this." Your legs are still shaky and you are starting to feel dehydrated. You want to go lay down in your bed for a while and just think about it all.
"Take your time, beautiful." Touya sounds pleased as he plants another smooch on your cheek. "We're in no rush. I texted all of the guys to steer clear of the locker room for another half hour."
"What!?" You say, incredulous. You had thought this was a super secret sexy hookup that no one would ever know about.
"Yeah, well, I didn't want us to be interrupted. And everyone owes me a favor from when I got training cancelled last week by accidentally setting Gym C on fire."
"So everyone knows that you and I are...?"
You don't need to look at Touya to know he's got that wicked grin plastered to his face - the one that shows off his mischievous dimples. "Hey, I didn't explicitly say what we would be doing...but..." He shrugs, all cocky confidence. "I think it was pretty easy for them to read between the lines."
"Touya Todoroki." You admonish, stepping out and away from him so you can turn around and deliver a light smack to his chest. "You are an absolute menace."
His bright teeth sparkle in the lowlight and you're stricken by how damn pretty he is.
"Yeah, yeah." He says, reaching to grab your bare hips and pull you towards him. He dips his head down so he's a breath away from your lips. "Let me show you just how menacing I can be, sweetheart." He kisses you, and it's as if your lips are magnetic the way they are pulled back to his over and over.
Touya Todoroki, Number One Boyfriend.
Huh. You kind of like the sound of that.
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Author's Note:
Hope you liked this lil Touya x Reader fic! I'm really on a Touya kick right now...
I really like to think of Touya as misunderstood, esp in this AU. He talks a big game and he seems like he has his shit together, but he's actually a big softie with feelings™. Touya would so totally pine after someone for years before making a big dramatic move to try and capture their feelings. In this particular AU, Touya knows he's good at sex and it's much easier for him to open up once he's kind of shown the reader what he's bringing to the table (physically, at least). Anyways, hope you enjoyed! More Touya fics on the way because I can't stop thinking about this idiot.
Linking my other Touya-centric fics below :)
Dabi x Hawks
Bed Chem. | Dabi x Hawks 🌶🔥🦅
Dabi x Reader
Unexpected Flames | Dabi/Touya x Reader
Staples. | Dabi/Touya x Reader 🔥🔞
Game On. | Touya x Reader Imagine 🌶
🔥 My Master List 🔥
XOXO,
Red Riot Unbreakable Heart
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bts-trans · 20 hours ago
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250105 Weverse Translation
J-Hope's Post ❇️
25년입니다. 여러분들의 24년은 어떠셨나요? 저에게 24년은 정말 여러가지로 만감이 교차하고 많은 감정들이 갈마드는 해 가 아니었나 싶습니다. 전역의 해가 밝아서 좋았다가, 어떻게 10월까지 또 견뎌야 할지 막막하다가, 막상 시기가 찾아오니 좋았다가, 전역 후의 계획들에 대한 걱정이 들며 불안 했다가, 또 막상 전역하니 주체가 안 될 정도의 기쁨이 오갔고, 여러 일들을 하며 25년에 대한 긴장과 설렘으로 고독하게 마무리를 했지 않았나 싶습니다. 각자마다 다른 '희로애락'이 있었겠지만 잠시나마의 따뜻한 마음을 가지며 24년을 위로해보고, 인사를 해봅니다 25년은 모두가 활짝 만개하여 아름다웠으면 좋겠구요! 저에게도 굉장히 중요한 해가 될 거라는 것이 25년이 주는 자연 속에서 고스란히 느껴집니다. 많은 것들을 보여드릴 거구요! 좀 더 성숙하고 저에게 어울리는, 모두의 만족을 위한 플랜으로 접근을 하려고 합니다. 저도 그렇지만, 많은 순간들을 함께하시려면 가장 먼저 건강이 우선이겠죠? 25년! 복 많이 받으시면서 건강 챙기시고, 누구보다 진심을 다해 여러분들의 새해 첫 발걸음을 응원해 봅니다. 힘내세요 아미💜🫶💜사랑해요 아미 (https://weverse.io/bts/artist/3-189122556)
It's 2025. How was 2024 for you all? For me, I think 2024 was, in a lot of different ways, a year filled with a million feelings and of going back and forth between so many different emotions.
I was glad that the year of my discharge from the military was here, and then felt lost and confused about how to keep going until October, but then when the time actually came, I was happy, only to then get anxious as I worried about my plans after being discharged,
but then when I was actually discharged, I was overwhelmed with joy, and then I did a lot of different things, and ended the year alone, both nervous and excited for 2025.
Everyone probably had their own ups and downs* this year, but I'd like to take a moment to warmly look back at 2024, sending it comfort, and wishing it farewell.
I hope that in 2025, everyone blooms fully and beautifully! It is going to be a really important year for me too- I feel it so clearly from the environment that 2025 brings.
I will be showing you lots of different things! I intend to come to you with plans that show more growth, are more suited to me, and that can make everyone happy.
This is true for me as well but, if you're going to be by my side in a lot of these moments, health must come first, right?
2025! I wish you a good year and good health. With the absolute most sincerity, I send you my support as you take your first steps into the new year.
Keep going ARMY💜🫶💜I love you ARMY
(T/N: *The phrase he used was '희로애락', an expression composed of four Chinese characters: joy, anger, sorrow, pleasure. It is used to symbolise the wide range of emotions and experiences, both positive and negative, that humans have. It is similar to English expressions like 'highs and lows' or 'ups and downs'.)
Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS
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worriedvision · 2 days ago
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"...You kidnapped who?" - Neuvillette
Gender neutral reader, reader is Neuvillette's spouse. Because of some strange miscommunication, the treasure hoarders believe they are Kamisato Ayatos partner. I was planning on writing it as crack but it didn't turn out that way, happy ending at the end though.
--
"Tell us your husband's plans with the visions that have yet to be claimed." A treasure hoarded huffs, pacing back and forth in an attempt to soothe himself before going straight to harming you.
As a Fontainian person, your attire was very obviously not fitting of someone from Inazuma. In all honesty, you don't even know what happened to get you in this position. You weren't in Fontaine, but you didn't fully buy you were on land at all. You feel yourself swaying back and forth with a steady wave pattern, yet there didn't seem to be any boxes or barrels here with you. Just a solitary chair the treasure hoarder was sitting in at first, only to get knocked over in a childish fit when you genuinely didn't know who this Kamisato man was. You had heard vaguely of him, yes, however your work really did not concern knowing of these people. That was more Neuvillette's side of things, your husband, but he made sure to put a boundary in place where neither of you would talk about your work together.
"You got that stupid ring on your hand - which we have now got- uhhh wait, no it's not that one..." The treasure hoarder trails off, bitting his nails before shouting out a plethora of swear words before storming out.
When the door opened in his stomping out, you could see it was the morning - at least you could maybe figure out where you were if you weren't out at sea in the middle of archons knows where. You hear the treasure hoarder crying to his boss about the fact this was his first interrogation, and you can't help but laugh quietly at the absurdity of his comments before someone else enters the room.
"Sorry about that, but we'll have to keep a close eye on you." The treasure hoarder smiles, eyes closing as he does so before slowly opening his eyes. When he makes eye contact with you - clearly more aware of your attire - he opens the door to yell a 'you sure this Fontainian bitch is the one we're looking for?' Before closing the door again.
"Now, tell me the truth and you won't lose that finger of yours. Got it?" He tilts his head.
Hoo boy, straight to violence like the other one? This was going to be a difficult one to get out of. Knowing your husband's protective nature, he would likely be contacting people in Liyue and Sumeru to look for you before looking into things himself. Of course, he can't stop working but every moment he does get he chance he looks for clues.
Meanwhile, Kamisato Ayatos reaction was first laughter - what made this person think he had a partner, let alone a spouse? He would be dousing his partner with very obvious affections, to make sure people know his partner and not to mess with them. That laughter quickly washes away, and he just so happens to know Kazuha is currently in Inazuma - Beidou is likely there as well, so he immediately contacts them with his concern. It was a note to say you would be lost at sea in 24 hours if they didn't get details on the unclaimed visions from the vision hunt decree. Thankfully, the crew are more than happy to go out in search for you.
--
You were honest with your answer, and the consequences of not knowing the details the man was looking for, he starts to grab your hand, both hands shaking as he tries to squeeze your hand hard enough to break the finger. You look at the man in confusion, and his face is growing red - either from fury or embarrassment - before he settles for giving your hand as hard a squeeze as possible. He lets go,still not grabbing the ring off your finger leading to you sitting on your hand to protect yourself. The ropes around your body are digging in, sure, but you were able to move around a bit.
"Get me the anchor, boys. This one's not gonna sing." The man tells, you panicking when you realise he's going to throw you overboard. You stand up to try and run around the room, somehow successfully doing to as the man doesn't know how to cut a corner or even trip you.
You eventually get tackled by a team of three treasure hoarders, and they begin to pin you down as they start to tie a very poor knot between you and the anchor - admittedly, the anchor was heavy and it would drag you down. You realise you don't know where you are, and whatever these people wanted you couldn't provide. Realising the sudden threat, and you having no way out, you begin to cry and plead with your captors.
"Should've given us the information on the visions." One of the treasure hoarders tuts. After tying the knot, they've started to carry you outside, only to find out several concerning things.
On one side, there is a Fatuus boat, filled with several scary and smart looking Fatui agents. On the other side is Beidous ship, with a set of very angry sailors.
But worse of all?
Their boss has only now seen your face. He goes pale.
"That's Neuvillette's spouse, you muppets!"
That Fatuus boat just so happened to be in the area when they hear a bunch of ruckus, and decide to look in case this was concerning their group. Both sides of the ship get boarded, and it doesn't take long for the treasure hoarders to get arrested and taken in the Fatui ship to Liyue, and Beidou carries you onto her ship after freeing you. You cry out of relief, everyone staying silent as the medic got your hand sorted.
--
The next day, you stay at the Kamisato Estate for safety, where you meet Ayatos sister - and the two of you immediately become friends. You tell her about Fontainian fashion, and she tells you about Inazuma fashion before she gasps, asking her brother if you could get a fan from him. He chuckles, agreeing before returning to communication with the Fatui agent who had a briefing for him.
Clearly, the treasure hoarders were tried in Fontaine at your husbands request, and they are asking for a plea deal. Ayato disagrees with the idea, giving the letter to the agent for the deal to be denied with adequate proof that there were plans for you to die if you didn't offer information - which you were close to.
"_, I'm here to escort you back to Fontaine. Monsieur Neuvillette has been extremely worried." The Fatui agent explains, you are more than happy to get up.
"Not so fast. My dear sister and I want to gift you an apology gift for the misidentification that led to this." Ayato states, walking into a room before emerging with several items. A fan, a bottle of Inazuman water and a box of Inazuman delicacies. "I heard your husband likes his water, so I thought this would suffice."
"Thank you, Milord." You bow, graciously accepting the gifts. "Please feel free to visit Fontaine."
--
Upon returning home, you enter your husbands office. You can see he's passed out, so you place the gifts down on a nearby side table before lightly touching him on the shoulder. He shoots up, clearly working himself sick out of fear you were missing or worse.
"My Dear, you're safe." He sighs out of relief, before looking at your hand. "...Who did that?"
"...One of the treasure hoarders. He wanted information I couldn't provide. Something about the use of the visions not collected?"
"The unclaimed visions since the vision hunt decree has been lifted?" Neuvillette sighs, holding your hand delicately before slightly tracing the bruised skin. "They could have asked a representative in Inazuma, and would have gotten an answer that way." He sighs.
You look out the window, sensing your husband is upset as the rain has started up again.
"Please, I need you." Neuvillette let's out, croaking at the end before you sit on his lap as he holds you tightly against him, as if he was fearing you weren't real and the real you was still missing.
"...The visions that were unclaimed are being archived. It's a part of Inazuman history that cannot be sold." He explains, yawning as he nuzzles into you.
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androidboy · 5 months ago
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my brain is. so incredibly busy
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vampmilf · 6 months ago
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hold on im still too mad at this one fucking guest to take a nap i need to be a hater for a minute
#so when i say hell on earth kinda day i mean HELL ON EARTH kinda day#we had a large bus travel group from slovakia and then some other guests and it was almost a hundred people for breakfast#the bus group all came at the same time they descended onto the buffet like fucking seagulls i swearrrrr#and i divided tasks like i had two helpers with me in the kitchen so one guys job was just to gather dirty dishes + washing + taking clean#ones back out#and the other guy running around the buffet checking whats needed + restockjng the cold food + telling me all the hot stuff that needs#refilling. so i was in the kitchen making all the hot foods on constant rotation + chopping fruits and making smoothies and shit#and like we managed. WE MANAGED. the buffet was never even half empty at any point like yes there was always something that was empty but#dude who cares if the vanilla yoghurt is empty for 5 mins just pick something else.#and everyone was happy with their breakfast and really nice when asking if we have more of this and that etc and then there was one lady#this ONE FUCKINGGGG lady i swear i almost threw hands#she was complaining about everythinggggggggggg#about there not being any more fried eggs (already in the pan. done in 2 mins. but when helper nr2 told her that she said well why did we#run put in the first place) about the bread station being full of crumbs like girl its BREAD. my giy was running up and down the buffet#wiping it off and cleaning as fast as he could but if you allow people to cut their own bread there will be fucking crumbs. the fuck.#then she also didnt like how the butter looked bc OBV people kept using the butter and no matter how many times you go in and make it look#neat again as soon as the next person takes some it will not look picture perfect anymore#like while i was running back and forth restocking stuff with my arms full she TOOK MY ARM and pointed at things and was like#'this looks shit' so does your fucking face but you dont see me getting physical about it#and then when i came out with a big tray of fresh glasses and cups she pointed to where someone had spilled some water at the dispenser and#went 'there is water on the buffet' (far away from any food + literally its just water) and i said 'yes i know' and she goes 'well it doesnt#look very appealing. this is the worst buffet ive ever seen' and i go 'well surely you have seen how busy we are' and she FUCKING GOES#'i dont care. i paid money for this.' and i go 'well that makes two of us for not caring. we'll get to it when we have the time.' and she#said something else idk what bc i was finished with my task and had SHIT TO DO BC PPL WERE STILL EATING#so i just turned and ran back to the kitchen to keep working#actually i got back to the kitchen and said to guy nr1 'i need to go punch something' and then went out the back and started kicking the#shit out of a pile of paper boxes and THEN i continued working#and then she started TAKING PICTURES of everything she didnt like of the buffet like full offense i hope she gets hit by a bus#like with some people you can just tell they never worked a day in the service industry and no matter what you do theyll keep complaining#anyways :) tag limit. apparently. so its nap time now. honk shoo snork mimimi and so forth <3
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wildevenusian · 3 months ago
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(​it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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earanie · 8 months ago
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so.
#first of all ive already been told exactly how stupid i am by my dear friend so i know#im dumb#But stiiiilll#remember how last week while i was having an all around breakdown i wrote to Them™?#it was just a stupid text like how you doing#But I mean stupid!! stupid!! so stupid! riiight?#what was i hoping? idk. I just wanted to hear from them and so well i took the matter in my own 2 hands#I missed them and I wanted to hear from them since I think about them 24/7 anyhow#and guess what? they answered me#(we're supposed to be friends of course they did)#and alright we were having a nice convo#i was kinda afraid they'd be kind of stand offish#not bc of anything but probably not to try and lead me on yk?#that's what id do probably - kind but not too involved as not to give any false hope#and im so glad bc they arent doing that! we really did have a nice convo#ok at some point they answered kinda weirdly but that's probably just them being a v bad texter#which - fair - im not that good myself#thing isssss... the convo is still going on. 6 no 7 days later?#they're offering info that they don't need to. asking questions too! it's like they're actually enjoying talking to me!#I want to cry of happiness okay#and ik this doesn't mean a thing - i know it. i know how things stand. I am okay with it.#But to know they still enjoy talking to me and sending their precious little time chatting with me - i mean. fuck#and each time the convo was kinda dying down they still managed to keep it going 😭 i could cry#and today we've really been going back and forth and it's the best thing that's happened to me all month ok? ok.#and they've just asked me how was my morning. totally unnecessary question. im so happy i could die#yes im delusional but im in love so please god please universe - just keep thing convo going a bit more#just let me have this - it's such a small joy and such a small hope - just let me have this for a little while more#I wont go crazy - or i will but it won't hurt me worse than ive already been hurt so the danger is worth it#god I love them that's so awful
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noisilyscreechingsong · 18 days ago
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Dp x Dc short idea
Jason is Danny’s dad
Warning: Language
Jason had just returned to the family publicly about two weeks ago. It hadn’t even been that long for him to settle before something happened. The press weren’t even off his ass and he has Alfred requesting he return home for an urgent matter immediately, which is butler speak for get your ass here right now!
The family was happy but adjusting to everything. They had mandatory family dinners at least twice a month and voluntarily got together more frequently, mostly just the siblings, but every once in a while Bruce would sneak in for a movie in the family room.
Alfred was pleased with the progress the family has made over the course of many years. It finally felt like everything was coming together and maybe settling down. He knew he thought that too soon when he answered the buzzer at the front gate. They weren’t expecting any visitors and looking at the video feed it was a young woman with hands on her hips glaring back at the camera. There were two large bags with her and surprisingly enough a young child playing in the grass just a short distance behind her.
“Wayne Residence, Alfred Pennyworth speaking, how may I assist you, ma’am?”
“Lettin’ me in for starters,” she says back with venom on her tongue.
“My apologies, but you do not have an appointment.”
She snorts, “Nah, but ya see, I saw that bastard on the news and thought I’d drop off what he gave me.”
To get her point across, she turns and looks back at the little boy not paying her any attention.
“Danny!” She snaps and he jerks his head to look at, who Alfred is assuming is, his mother. “Come here.”
He hops up at his own pace and dusts off the grass on his knees before trotting over. She leans down to angle the young boy away from the camera and pushing back his hair.
He couldn’t see it well before by the way the boy was positioned before, but Alfred could clearly see a prominent patch of white hair on the left lower section by his neck. Just like the white batch on Jason.
“You gonna let us in now?” She asks rudely.
Alfred has already determined he did not like this woman. He still buzzes them in. He contacts Jason immediately followed closely with Bruce.
Alfred then helps the two carry in the bags, while subtly checking for any weapons or explosives. Instead he finds things meant for a child.
He really didn’t like this woman.
Bruce is the first one to arrive down the stairs, pausing towards the bottom. He glances at Alfred and can see the displeasure in the butler’s eyes.
“Hello, ma’am. I’m Bruce Wayne, nice to meet you.”
“Fuckin’ everyone knows who you are, Brucie Wayne,” she huffs with a roll of her eyes.
Bruce glances down at the very young child who is hearing the foul language. He couldn’t be more than five, and completely oblivious as the little boy runs a hand along the wall and looks around at everything. He particularly keeps going back to the shiny chandelier above their heads.
“Who might you be?” He asks the woman, coming back to her as she almost touches the vase on the entry table. She draws her hand back to fold her arms across her chest.
“Grace.”
The name seems ironic compared to her behavior.
“And how can I help you, Miss Grace?”
“Your thought-to-be-dead son left something of his. I’m here to return it.”
It took no detective to determine she was talking about the boy currently using the door frame to the sitting room as leverage to rock back and forth, holding on with his tiny hands. Bruce could see the splash of white among the dark hair from this angle.
Bruce hums.
“Is that so?”
“I’ve already contacted Master Jason. He should be arriving soon. Shall I prepare some refreshments in the drawing room?” Alfred informs.
“Thank you, Alfred. Right this way,” he says to Grace, directing her toward the left while pulling out his phone to ask Tim to prepare the proper equipment downstairs.
“Danny!” The woman calls with impatience. She glares at the little boy who calmly turns to look at her, then skips behind them.
Grace huffs but doesn’t say anything else as they enter the room. She sits herself in the middle of the love seat and Bruce takes one of the chairs across from her. The boy, Danny, explores the room thoroughly, walking around without pattern and investigating every nook and cabinet to keep himself entertained. Very curious little child.
Bruce tries to engage her in conversation to dig up more information, but she firmly wanted to wait for Jason before divulging anything. He did however find out that Danny is four and needs to be enrolled in kindergarten next turn. Grace works night shift but wouldn’t say where.
Alfred came with three waters, one in a smaller plastic cup for Danny, and a plate of crackers and cut up fruit.
Grace eyes the butler with a raised brow. However, the first words Danny has spoken in their presence is a cute, “Thank you, mister,” before munching on a cracker and sipping from his cup. His curious eyes flick over the fruit and wanders over to his mother who picks at a rip in her jeans. He taps her knee and she sighs.
“What is it?”
“What’s that?”
Danny points to the fruit.
“What’s what?”
He creeps forward to point directly at the blackberries mixed in with the blueberries and strawberries.
“Blackberry,” she answers shortly.
“What’s it taste like?”
“Why don’t you try it and find out?”
He must have approved of that suggestion and reaches in to clumsily wrap a tiny hand around one of the dark berries. He flips it over in his hand for a minute, observing it at all angles, feeling the texture of the little bumps, before shoving it in his mouth. Danny leans his body over the coffee table to drag the bowl closer and rummage through it for more goodies.
Really looking at him, Bruce could see Jason’s freckles and the few other similarities like his square jaw and lip shape. He hasn’t seen it yet but Bruce bets Danny has the same crooked grin as his son.
He has the woman’s pale complexion and nose shape. His hair was straight like hers instead of Jason’s curls, but Danny took his dark coloring compared to her light brunette.
The boy was an adorable mix of both his son and this woman. He almost felt the test was unnecessary, but he didn’t stop Alfred from replacing the plastic cup and take it back to the kitchen where he knew it would be handed off to Tim.
Thankfully it was a day where there weren’t any meetings for either of them to attend.
Surprisingly, it isn’t Jason that enters the room first, it’s Damian coming home from school. The fourteen year old, almost fifteen, holds a leash in one hand with Titus standing patiently next to him, ready for his after school walk.
“Father, I heard we have guests.”
The teen stops in the doorway and Danny turns with interest until he spots the animal, then his eyes bug with excitement.
“Mommy, doggie,” he whisper shouts.
She just hums in affirmative, looking the new arrival up and down.
Danny grabs a blackberry from the bowl and trots over to Damian. He holds out the piece of fruit.
“This is a blackberry,” he states proudly.
Damian blinks down at the small child. Titus tilts his head, his nose working hard.
“I’m aware.”
“You can have it, if you let me pet your doggie,” he negotiates like he needed to give something in order to receive permission.
Damian looks up to his father for answers.
“Jason will be here soon,” is what he gets instead, his father’s lips twitch.
Damian looks back down in sudden realization when he sees the similarities between the man and this boy. He sighs tiredly.
“Pennyworth. A wet washcloth if you please.”
“Right away, Master Damian.”
“Next time, you only need to ask to pet Titus, you do not need to give me anything in return,” he tells the child.
Danny looks down at the berry sitting in his stained hands.
“So you don’t want it?”
“…Maybe later.”
“Okay!”
Danny skips back to carefully set the berry off the side on the tray, as if to save it for Damian for later like he said. He jogs the short distance back to them.
“Can I pet your doggie now, please?”
Damian takes the washcloth Alfred hands him with a nod and crouches down to get level with the boy.
“We must wipe our hands first. We don’t want anything sticky in his fur,” he explains as he holds out the washcloth for Danny’s hands.
The four year old looks down at the stains to see what he means and then places his hands on the washcloth for Damian to get the juices off.
The teen then calmly explains how to properly approach a dog he does not know by letting Titus smell the back of his hand first and then to always stay calm and confident.
Titus, the gentle giant that he is, had no problems letting the tiny child pat him and run small fingers through his short fur. It was endearing to hear the giggles when Titus used his big nose to sniff at the child’s face and neck. Sitting down, Titus was taller than the child standing up, which would have been scary to some kids, but Danny seemed to love Titus instantly. The little boy easily telling the dog what a good boy he is even with the dog sitting there doing nothing.
“Titus needs his afternoon walk now,” Damian informs.
Titus stands at the word walk, clearly ready to go.
“Oh, okay.” Danny turns to the big dog to reach up and pat his head twice. “Bye-bye, Titus. Have a good walk.”
The two leave and Danny skips back over to hang over the arm of the love seat his mother sits in, typing on her phone.
“Mommy, did you see the doggie? His name is Titus. He’s a good dog.”
“Uh-huh,” she comments without really listening.
“Do you like dogs, Danny?” Bruce asks with a smile.
Danny looks at him like he forgot the man was there, tilts his head as he studies him for a moment. Bruce waits patiently until Danny deems him okay and perks back up with bright eyes.
“Uh-huh! I love dogs! Mommy says we can’t get one ‘cuz our ‘partment is too small and they’re dirty. You’s guys are lucky,” the boy rambles as he wanders around the coffee table to get closer to Bruce and away from his distracted mother.
“How do you feel about cats? Damian has a black and white one around here somewhere.”
Danny shrugs and they continue to have a rather pleasant conversation about different animals and foods and each of their houses. It takes up the amount of time for Jason to walk through the door, seemingly already informed of the situation from Alfred.
Jason was… flabbergasted. Bewildered. Caught unprepared. He was a lot of words. Mostly he was scared.
Did he really have a child? A son? If that was true then he missed so much. He missed all of his firsts. First words, first steps, first laugh, first everything.
Would the boy even like him? What if he saw all his scars and was scared of him? What if he didn’t want anything to do with Jason after not being in his life this whole time?
But the boy might not be his. There’s that. That could be… Jason didn’t like the disappointment that thought brought.
Grace was the first one he noticed. Her ripped jeans and low cut top being out of place among the antique furniture and Persian rug. She scowls at him, putting her phone down.
“Finally decided to show up?”
He bites back a comment. He broke several traffic laws to get here, it wasn’t his fault he was fourty minutes away at the time he got the call.
He glances over at Bruce and instead his eyes zero in on the child standing by the armchair Bruce was sitting in.
Just one look and he knew the boy was his.
He looks to Bruce anyway for confirmation, since he has no doubt he sent off a sample to Tim hiding like the troll he is in the basement. The man nods. Jason sucks in a deep breath and suddenly needs to sit down.
He sinks heavily in the matching armchair next to Bruce’s, separated only by a round end table. Jason can’t stop staring at those big, blue eyes that are filled with such curiosity and innocence he almost breaks down right then. But he can’t. He has to be strong. He can’t just walk away to get a handle on his emotions. He’s a dad now.
“You’re a hard man to find,” Grace folds her arms over her chest.
“I’ve been busy,” he answers lamely.
She humphs and looks away with a shake of her head.
The boy, Danny Alfred said his name was, creeps around Bruce’s legs to get closer, obviously seeing something in Jason enough to investigate. The room is quiet as they wait to see how Danny will react.
Coming to a stop right before his knees, Danny stares up at the large man with lots of scars and muscles from what he can see. He wasn’t scared. There was just something familiar that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He looks… he looks like… and he also feels almost like…
Furrowing his brows in a pout, he knows his Mommy doesn’t like it when he does it, but he still makes his eyes burn with green.
The man gasps and his eyes also swirl into an angry green.
“Daddy?” Danny asks with hope and joy.
Daddy swallows and then nods.
“Yea, buddy, I’m your dad.”
“Daddy!” The boy cheers, jumping in place with a wide smile. “Daddy! Mommy, look! It’s Daddy!”
Danny wastes no time climbing into the man’s lap and wrapping his arms around him as far as they’ll go (not very far) to press his ear to Jason’s chest over his heart. He’s practically vibrating with excitement and Jason makes sure to set a large hand on his back to hold him close.
“I fuckin’ knew it,” Grace hisses, her eyes wide at the display earlier. Both of their eyes had returned to their calmer blue and teal color, but everyone in the room saw it. “I knew he got it from you.”
His eyes narrow in warning, pulling the boy closer to his chest. He sets a hand over Danny’s exposed ear to protect him from the harsh words he’s probably already heard before.
“Do you have any idea how creepy it is to deal with a tantrum when your kid has fucking glowing green eyes?”
“Did you hit him?” Jason growls, the vibrations seeming to settle Danny even more.
“Please, I’m not my mother,” she dismisses with a sneer.
Could have fooled him.
“Everything was fine until he started doing freaky shit. I don’t know how to raise a meta kid, alright?”
“What are you talking about?”
Now he was just confused. What stuff was Danny doing that Grace thought he was a meta?
“Don’t try to pretend you don’t have powers too,” she points viciously.
“I’m not pretending. I don’t have powers. I don’t have the meta gene. What can he do?” He demands while being transparently clear.
She just glares back at him, obviously not believing him. That didn’t exactly matter at the moment.
“What can he do?” He repeats with emphasis.
She puckers her lips like she’s tasted something sour and then lifts her chin.
“Why doesn’t he just show you, huh? Danny- Would you stop babying him? Danny, show him the things you can do.”
After Jason takes the hand off the boy’s head, Danny turns to his mother warily.
“But you don’t like it,” he reminds, like she forgot.
“He wants to see it, so show him,” she waves a hand at Jason like he just asked for something he would regret.
Danny leans back to look up at his dad.
“You won’t get mad? Or scared?”
He sounds so unsure and scared. As if Jason could ever hate him. Jason really wants to punch something. Preferably something with her face on it.
“I promise I won’t.”
Another parent might have something more profound to say to reassure their child, but Jason was just starting out and honestly, it was more than Bruce would ever say.
Danny thinks for a second before wiggling to get down. He looks back once more at his mother who gives him a ‘get on with it’ motion.
The boy fidgets a little before covering his face with two hands like he’s playing hide and seek, then- disappears. Jason jerks at watching his son blink out of sight like a Martian.
“Boo!” Danny pops back into view, exactly where he was standing before with his hands out like any child on Halloween.
Jason blinks and then starts laughing. This was karma. Danny could literally become invisible, something the Bats train to do for years.
“That was good, buddy,” Jason chuckles, ruffling the kid’s hair.
Danny hesitantly smiles back, a bit of hope and pride in those eyes.
“There’s more,” Grace interrupts, seemingly uneasy with how well Jason reacted.
“Yea?” Jason directs to Danny, his focus on his son.
Danny gives a shaky nod, glancing over worriedly at Bruce who is just silently watching. Jason could see the tension in his shoulders but also the intrigue.
The boy places a hand on the coffee table and focuses on his hand. It took a few minutes of concentration before Danny’s hand went through the table like he was just dunking his hand in a pool instead of through a solid object.
He pulls his hand out and they could see it be slightly translucent.
“That one’s harder to do when I want to,” Danny mumbles.
“You mean it mostly happens on accident?”
Danny nods.
“I drop a lot. And get stuck sometimes.”
Yea, Jason can see how that could be a problem. He can’t imagine how terrified Danny was the first time a body part got stuck in an immovable object. He really wishes he could have been there for him in his panic.
“The last thing is hard too. But I’ve been practicing. Watch!”
Danny jumps once, twice, and on the third time he lingers in the air, coming down slowly like someone in water or astronauts on the moon. Danny pushes off the ground a fourth time, this time floating steadily higher like gravity meant nothing to him.
Despite the kid obviously have done this before and enjoying it with his giggles, Jason stands under him in case he falls. And falls he does. Suddenly, like the strings being cut and gravity taking hold of him again, Danny plummets into Jason waiting arms. The boy grunts on impact and then smiled sheepishly up at his dad.
“Sorry, Daddy. I promise I’m doing better.”
“That’s okay, squirt. I’m glad I was here to catch you.”
Jason plops back into the chair with his child in his lap.
“Anything else up that sleeve of yours?” He teases but is equally as serious.
Danny shakes his head enough to make his hair fluff. Jason looks to Grace for confirmation and sees she is still recovering from Danny’s fall out of the air. How many times has she had to catch him? Or wasn’t able to catch him?
She clears her throat.
“I don’t know if it’s part of it, but he never gets sick. Never even had a cough.”
Children always get sick, that’s how they build immune systems. For Danny to have never gotten even a cold, Jason doesn’t know if it’s worrying or a good thing.
“Any allergies?” Is the first thing on his mind, thinking of what Alfred will need to know.
She shakes her head with a negative hum.
“In one of the bags is a folder with all of his documents. Birth certificate, immunizations, doctor visits. I also made a list of some favorite things and things he hates. It has foods on there too.”
That was… honestly more than he was expecting from her. But it also cements the fact that she intended to drop him off with him and then never see them again. She raised him for four years and she doesn’t even want visitation? Does she not understand there are legal documents she needs to sign to transfer custody properly?
“There are some things you need to sign, but it will take some time to get it sorted,” Bruce chimes in all business.
Long nails swipe through the air like signing her rights away was trivial.
“My phone number and address are on one of the documents. Just tell me when and where.”
She stands to leave and Jason can feel Danny tense up.
“Are we leaving?” He asks worriedly, climbing down from his seat on his dad’s lap. He didn’t want to go.
“You’re staying here. With your dad,” Grace says shortly, not once looking at the boy.
“Are you going home to get the rest of our stuff?”
“No. I’m going home. You’re staying here. End of story.”
Danny visibly thinks on that for a second then scampers after his mother as she leaves the room.
“Is it like Robbie where his mom lives in one ‘partment and his dad lives in a different one?”
Grace sighs and runs a hand through her hair. She’s clearly flustered and is showing it as irritation, but Jason can’t help but trail behind in case she says something that she shouldn’t.
“No, Danny, it’s not like Robbie. I- I am leaving you here and I’m not coming back, okay?”
Jason takes a step forward to draw her attention and send her a look that says ‘choose your words carefully, this is a conversation he will remember for a long time’.
“But- but why? Is it ‘cuz of my things? I’m sorry I scared you, Mommy. I didn’t mean to. I won’t do them again, promise.”
Jason grits his teeth at how desperate his son sounds, trying to keep his mother with him. Even making a promise he can’t keep.
Grace finally looks at her baby. Sees the turmoil and tears in his baby blue eyes. She gets down on her knees to get level and places her hands on his tiny shoulders.
“You will do them again and that’s not a bad thing. Your things are part of you. That’s okay. You’re not in any trouble. I just- I’m in over my head here, Danny. I can’t take care of you the way you should be taken care of, okay? But your dad can, I hope. So I’m leaving you here. With him.”
Danny’s lip wobbles and she has to restrain herself from not hugging him like she always does when he’s upset.
“Then- then you’ll visit, right? Like Chase’s grandma visits him?”
Why is this so hard?
“I don’t think so, baby. I don’t think you’re gonna see me again. I’m sorry.”
Danny is silent for a while. He wipes his eyes and sniffs.
“Are you goin’ ‘way like Jamal’s dad?”
The ten year old in the same building as them lost his dad in a wrong place wrong time type situation. Jamal had told Danny his dad went away forever so he couldn’t see him again. Grace had told him that when people go away forever, they get put among the stars he loves so much to be remembered.
Grace wears such a pained expression Jason half thought she was about to burst into tears.
“Kinda,” she nods. “So give me a big hug, okay?”
Danny was in her arms before she finished speaking. Jason didn’t exactly know why she wanted to stop all contact, but he had a theory that if Danny really was a meta (and with his powers he was leaning toward believing it) then Grace would want to distance herself as much as possible to protect them both. He met her in Crime Alley, he knew they didn’t live in a good spot. If any one of those crooks saw Danny use any of his powers, they could steal him easily from his single mother. She didn’t want to give those kind of people leverage to get Danny and sell him off. She wasn’t trying to be cruel, she was just trying to do what was best for her kid, even if that meant cutting her out of his life.
He had a strange new respect for her he didn’t want to acknowledge.
Grace takes a heavy breath and pulls away showing Danny’s tear stained cheeks. She wipes them like it would do anything.
“I gotta go now, Danny.”
“No,” he cries and Jason’s heart breaks a little more.
“We gotta say goodbye now. Please.”
Grace is just barely hanging on. Jason knows as soon as she walks out that door she’ll break down.
“I don’t want to. Don’t want you to leave,” Danny whines, trying to keep a strong grip on his mother.
She holds his hands in hers and gives him a serious look.
“You’re going to be fine. You’re gonna be just fine with your dad.” She leans in and whispers, “You’re not alone, Danny. You are never alone. Just look up. Look at the stars, baby, and you’ll be okay.”
Danny pouts, but thinks about those words.
“I like the stars,” he mumbles.
She smiles, probably the first one in a while.
“I know you do.”
She kisses his forehead one last time and stands. Danny whines. She steps away.
“Bye-bye, Danny. I- I love you.”
“Mommy,” he cries, tears and snot coming full force now.
Jason can’t take anymore and picks up his son to hold on his hip.
“It’s okay, buddy. I got you,” he assures. He turns to Grace who is having the internal battle of her life in the foyer. “I got him.”
It’s an assurance to her too, that he will take care of Danny, that he would be there for him. It was a promise.
Grace sees it for what it is and leaves out the front door without another word.
Danny screams and cries and struggles, but Jason holds on tight, scared he’ll fall or use his powers to get away and disappear. The man walks back to the drawing room so his son wasn’t staring at the door longingly.
As soon as Jason sits down, Danny struggles harder since they stopped moving. So Jason stands again, adjusting the boy in his arms and starts pacing a path around the room.
Bruce has already disappeared, not knowing what to do with a heartbroken child crying his eyes out. Alfred has cleared away the tray of snacks, leaving two waters on the table, one in a small, plastic cup. Jason spies Damian poke his head in for a second to see what the matter was, and upon seeing no immediate threat went off wherever. Other than that, father and son were alone to figure themselves out.
Danny was going through a lot for a toddler and Jason didn’t exactly know how to handle what happened either. He tried his best with speaking reassurances into the boy’s hair, but he didn’t know if Danny even heard him over his own crying.
It was a rough first meeting to be frank, but after a while (what felt like ages) Danny cried himself to sleep and Jason felt it safe to finally sprawl out on the loveseat with the boy laying on his chest. Compared to a grueling patrol, that was definitely worse. He never wanted to have to go through that again, but knew as a dad it was part of the job description.
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ohbo-ohno · 1 year ago
Text
Kinktober Day 31 - Free Use
Poly 141 x Reader - 4.3k (on ao3)
summary: Glimpses into your life as a housewife and free use toy for the 141 post-retirement. (Reader POV, second person)
cw: soft sex, half-drunk sex, light somnophilia, anal sex
note: last kinktober of the month! sorry i got off by a day at the end here, but i hope you guys have enjoyed everything so far :) btw this is less "free use" and more "sex with the 141 while living in domestic bliss"
Your days are filled with sex. Sex with all of your boys, in every position you can think of, in every room of the house they’d bought for the five of you after retiring. 
You all split the chores evenly these days. No one does more than they’re more comfortable with, and you’ve all found your stride, something to give you purpose, after the rigidity of the military.
Gaz has taken to bee-keeping. As odd as it sounds, he’s got the patience for it, and he’s quite protective of his bees, even has nearly an entire library of books he’s taught himself with. Price helps him out by selling the honey he harvests, keeping track of his profits and managing the household’s finances. 
Ghost hunts, spends his days out finding game to bring home, tracking herds and predators around your property. Johnny does a little of everything - fixes things when they break, chops firewood every morning, helps Simon skin his prey, tries to help Gaz and his bees. 
And you take care of the house. You make the meals, clean up after everyone, and find yourself perfectly happy to keep your men fed and warm. 
Your other chore is to bend over whenever they want. Well, bend into any position whenever they want, Ghost and Soap tend to enjoy getting a bit more creative. It’s not really much of a chore, considering how eager you are to do it.
It’s a great deal for you. Johnny and Kyle are always eager to get you off, and neither Simon nor Price is stingy with the orgasms these days either. You live your life floating between domestic labor and orgasms - not a bad existence, by your metric. You get to live without a care in the world, four men to take care of and four men to take care of you. It’s like a dream come true.
———————————————————————
You hum to yourself as you dance around the kitchen, wearing nothing but a frilly apron as you wait for your pancakes to cook. The small radio on the dining room table plays music from a local radio station, something cheery to start your day. It’s hard not to smile, with sunshine pouring in from the windows and a batch of fresh eggs to scramble on the stove. 
Your small moment of bliss is interrupted by a pair of hands on your hips and a large body bracketing yours.
There isn’t even a moment of fear, you instinctually lean back into the man behind you. A moment later, a rough beard brushes over your cheek.
“Pancakes this mornin’?” Price asks, big paws resting on the softness of your hips.
“Hmm,” you hum, tilting your head to claim his lips. He sways the two of you back and forth slowly, to the beat of the song, and lets you take your time with him. “Blueberries in yours,” you tell him when you come up for a breath of air.
One hand shifts to your ass, the other to your stomach, and you feel him smile. “Thank you, love. Got time for a quick round before they burn?”
You mimic his smile, let him bend you over slowly. “You’re just in time, Captain, I haven’t cracked the eggs yet.”
“Perfect,” he purrs, pressing himself to your backside. He tucks his plaid pajama pants down a little, rubbing his warm morning wood against you. You fold your arms beneath your head, let your eyes drift closed as his fingers make quick work of getting you ready.
Moments later, the heavy length of his cock fills you slowly. You moan, shifting your legs a little bit wider as he massages your waist.
“There you go,” he sighs, bottoming out and grinding himself slowly inside of you. “Tight as always, perfect girl.”
You giggle a little drowsily, wiggling your hips against his. “Always for you, John.”
He sighs contentedly, pulling out slowly. “Don’t I know it.”
He fucks you slowly, a steady pace that drags against all your most sensitive parts on every thrust. John’s thick, and the stretch isn’t quite comfortable with no prep. But you’re still a little loose from your time with Soap and Gaz last night, so it’s far from painful to take him.
He hunches over you as he gets closer and closer to the edge, elbows resting on either side of you and breath ghosting across your nape.
“Aw,” you hear Soap say,voice rough from sleep as he steps into the kitchen. “I wanted first go today.”
“Early bird gets the worm, Johnny,” Gaz teases, settling into a chair in the little breakfast nook Simon had built soon after moving in. “You’re the one who stayed up so late with her last night.”
“Wasn’t just me, jackass, you’re the one who-”
“Boys,” Price grunts, hips slamming against yours, leaving you squirming beneath him. “Will you shut the fuck up while I’m balls deep in our girl?”
You can’t help but snort beneath him, pushing yourself up enough to arch your back further, stick your ass further out for him. “Ye-yeah, boys.”
“Hush,” Price scolds, one hand shifting to your neck where he forces you flat to the counter again. “‘M almost there…”
He groans lowly as he buries himself deep inside of you, pumping slowly as you tighten up, trying to milk him. “Fuck, feels good…”
You smile against your arms as the pleasure that had been building inside of you starts to dull to a simmer, something warm in the root of you.
Price pulls out only moments later, two thick fingers tucking into you to keep any of his come from dripping out. “Keep me safe inside you, pretty thing, c’mon. Clench down.”
You take a deep breath and try your best to listen, straightening up and doing your best to keep yourself from dripping down your thighs. 
He turns you around, leaning you back against the counter and cupping your cheeks in his hands, tugging your face up to give you a soft kiss. “Thank you,” he whispers into your mouth, just quiet enough for you to hear.
“Of course.” You reach up to grab his wrists, holding him close. “Never gonna say no to you, John.”
The two of you linger in the moment, sunlight warming your skin as you breathe into each other.
It’s Soap that interrupts you, an intentionally obnoxious clearing of his throat nearly making you jump. “Any chance at coffee sometime today, bonnie?”
You huff a laugh into Price’s mouth, pushing him away and shooting a half-playful look to Johnny. “Can’t give me a minute of peace, can you?”
He smirks, “Nope.”
John scoffs as he pulls away, moving you with him and giving you a quick tap to the ass to send you over to the counter with the coffee machine. “Someone’s gotta teach you some patience, MacTavish.”
“If Ghost still hasn’t gotten it into him, no one is,” Gaz laughs, shifting enough for Price to join him on the bench. 
“Who says I haven’t?” Ghost says, stepping from the hallway. He’s already got a cigarette lit between his lips, and you wave him away with a spatula.
“No!” You scold, trying to shoo him closer to the window. “No smoking in my house! You know I hate the smell.”
Ghost rolls his eyes good-naturedly but lets you herd him to the open window, resting a shoulder on the windowsill and blowing a mouthful of air. You hmph, satisfied, and move to flip the pancakes. “You’re not the one who has to get that smoke out of all the furniture, you know.”
Ghost sighs, but he’s dramatic enough about it for you to know that he’s intentionally exaggerating his annoyance. “Awful early for all that nagging, woman.”
You glare at him playfully, picking up an egg to crack. “Awful early for a cig, too.”
He huffs and you crack your egg, the kitchen shifting into a comfortable silence. You continue your humming as the song changes to something more upbeat, unable to keep a smile from your face.
———————————————————————
You’re half tipsy, giggling into Soap’s mouth as the two of you stumble into the house. You manage to trip over the lip of the entrance, and you yelp as you start to fall.
Johnny just barely manages to twist and catch the both of you in time, grunting loudly as he hits the ground. The breath is knocked from the both of you, and you lay there in the dark for a moment, still.
You’re giggling as soon as you can breathe again, unable to stay still with all the energy and wiggling against his chest. “Jo-Johnny!”
“What?” He pants, still not fully able to take a breath in. You can see the outline of a smile, though, and his hands come up to fully cup your ass. “You were the one taht tripped, lass!” 
That only makes you laugh harder, kicking your feet against his shins. “I-I know!”
Now he laughs, a full-bellied sound that has you bouncing on his chest. He manages to push himself up so that you’re in his lap, and presses his mouth to yours without warning.
You make a high sound of surprise but quickly kiss him back, licking into his mouth when he parts his lips. 
Your kiss is messy, both of you a little too drunk and a little too needy to bother for tact. Johnny’s softer than he usually is, all tongue and no teeth. You wrap your arms around his neck, shifting so your knees rest on either side of him and squeeze his hips.
“Need you,” he pants into your mouth, shifting you over him to start a slow grind. “Need to be inside you, bonnie.”
“Yeah, please,” you say, quickly dropping your hands to his belt and clumsily working at his belt. It takes several tries for you to get it undone, and both of you get more and more desperate. Your underwear get more and more damp as you work yourself over the rough denim of his jeans, your skirt rucked up around your hips as he palms at your ass.
“Come on,” he growls, landing a harsh slap against the meat of your thigh. You yelp at the sting, then giggle, and finally manage to get his belt loose, quickly tugging it off.
“There you go,” you mumble, throwing the belt to the side and hearing it slide against the hardwood. “C’mon, c’mon, need you now, Johnny.”
He nearly snarls into your mouth, jerking your panties to the side and stuffing two fingers into you with no warning. You jolt higher on your knees and moan, digging your nails into his shoulder.
“Sit still,” he growls, tugging you back down and scissoring his fingers quickly to spread you. He slips a third finger in easily, your cunt already slick and dripping for him. “Stop fuckin’- stop wigglin’ around.”
You can’t help but giggle again, pushing your smile against his lips and nipping at his chin. “Can’t hold me down, MacTavish?”
You feel him grin, growling playfully, and before you can keep prodding him he’s got you flipped onto the floor beneath him. You squeal when he somehow manages to keep his fingers inside of you, pushing deep as he pins you down. He tucks your knees higher, both of your legs resting on his shoulders.
“I’ll show you held down, lass,” he growls, smile just barely visible above you. “Want it rough, then?”
You bite back another laugh, pushing up just enough to bite his bottom lip and tug it down with you. “As rough as you’ve got, MacTavish.”
It works as the perfect taunt you’d meant it as, and he’s buried in your tight heat before you can try and push him any further. Your head falls back against the hardwood floor as his falls to your throat, both of you moaning loudly as his hips meet your thighs.
“Fuck,” he groans, teeth pressed against your throat. When you arch your neck even further, he bites into your flesh, sucking a hicky and making you ever wetter between the thighs. “Fuck.”
“She tight, Johnny?”
You both yelp at the sudden voice, Johnny jolting away from your neck and shifting inside of you, causing you both to melt again.
There, in the corner of the room, is Ghost. He’s smoking a cigarette by the window, illuminated only by the glow of his cigarette butt and the moon. You can’t quite see his expression, but you can just imagine the cocky smirk.
Johnny groans above you, sinking back down to press kisses along your throat and forcing your knees almost to the side of your head. “Scared the shit outta’ me, Ghost,” he sighs, pulling out just enough to give you a few tiny thrusts. You moan, letting yourself relax into the floor.
“Not surprised,” Ghost says, and you watch as he stubs out the cigarette and take a few steps to where the two of you are tangled in each other. “How much did you two have to drink?”
You laugh at the question, but it melts into a moan as Johnny starts to find a rhythm that works for both of you. Your knees nearly knock against your own face as he makes his way across your neck, leaving bruising kisses. 
“Not-” you choke a bit on a particularly rough thrust, just barely managing to keep your eyes open and watch as Simon settles into an armchair. “Not that much.”
“Yeah,” Johnny pants, lifting himself up enough to look down at you. “How-how much’ve you had, L.t.?”
Ghost snorts, taking a swig from a beer bottle you hadn’t noticed before. “Less’n you two, I can tell that much.”
You and Johnny both snicker, half out of breath already, but none of you try and keep speaking as Johnny starts to really fuck into you, finding a perfect rhythm that’s just a little messier than usual, a little jerkier. 
The two of you make no attempt to be quiet, moaning and whining loudly as you work to find that peak. Even with folded in half as you are, you try to push into him as much as you can to help him hit the perfect spot inside of you. 
You nearly scream when he does, clenching down so tightly onto him that he’s forced to a still inside of you, his length throbbing in time with your heartbeat. 
The world blurs around you as Johnny takes your lips again, pressing your tongues together in a slick slide as he batters inside of you.
“Clo-close,” you gasp, clawing down his shoulders. Your nails dig in enough through his shirt to have him moaning, arching further into your touch.
“Me too, bonnie.”
He shifts enough to lean his weight further onto your thighs, newly freed hand smoothing down your chest and stomach to work against your clit. You melt beneath him, muscles going loose as you turn into nothing but a limp doll for him to fuck.
Your eyes squeeze shut as your orgasm starts to overcome you, Johnny’s work against your clit and the hot length inside of you finally shoving you over the edge.
“Fuck- fuck!” Johnny nearly shouts above you, your orgasm triggering his own. You cling tight to him, dragging his body as close to you as possible while your muscles clench down around him. The two of you are nearly drooling in each other’s mouths, eager for as much physical touch as possible.
It feels like an impossible amount of time later when you hear Ghost crouch down next to you, see his shadow cast over both you and Johnny. “You two done, then?”
You feel Johnny huff where he’s leaned against your cheek, feel his smile grow against yours. 
“Yeah, Si,” you say, squirming a bit beneath Johnny to try and get out from under him. “I think we’re done.”
Johnny gans a little but he obliges and shifts back enough for his softened cock to pull out of you. You both whine in sync at the separation, and he finally lets your legs fall to the ground, heels thudding against the floor.
Johnny rolls off of you, flopping to the floor next to you. “Carry us to bed, L.t.”
You giggle and blink up at Simon, softened from your orgasm and the lingering buzz from your night out. “Yeah, L.t.,” you lift your arms high, making grabby hands like a toddler. “Carry us to bed.”
Ghost snorts above you, but he still leans down and scoops you up beneath the knees and the back. You squeal when he hefts you over his shoulder into a fireman's carry. He ducks low again and you grasp onto the bottom of his sweatshirt, then giggle when Johnny flops bonelessly over Ghost’s other shoulder.
He carries the two of you effortlessly down the hall, and Johnny’s soft laugh joins yours - well, at least before you hear a muffled slap and he quiets himself/ Of course that only makes you laugh, earning you a spank of your own.
You’re dropped rather carelessly onto the massive mattress all five of you share these days, hand flopping against what you’re sure is Price’s chest as Ghost falls on top of Johnny where he’s dropped.
You hear a muffled oof! from next to you and curl into Price with a smile, tucking yourself close to his chest. He rumbles a low noise, instinctually tucking you close. You can hear Gaz getting annoyed with Ghost and Soap, feel him kicking at them to fight for his own spot on the mattress. You fall asleep with Ghost’s back to yours and Price’s chest to yours, surrounded by warmth.
———————————————————————
You groan into the sheets in frustration, fists clenched tight. “Simon, come on, please.”
He spanks you sharply, but the pain is hardly noticeable compared to the need you’re drowning in. 
“Quiet,” he grunts, three fingers spreading your ass. “Need to stretch you out properly, don’t want any tears.”
You whine, arching your back and pushing your ass further into the air. “I’m ready, I promise, just need you inside. I’ve been stretched for the last ten minutes!”
“And you’ll get stretched for ten more if you don’t quit complaining.”
It’s almost impossible to bite back a complaint at that, but you manage to dull it down to just a near-painful eye roll. You try your best to stay still for him, stay patient, even as you feel like your pussy is dripping like a faucet.
Ghost has fucked you with far less prep than this, you know he’s just trying to be an asshole - no pun intended. You also know that the more you rush him, the slower he’ll go. So you force yourself a little looser, let your body sink more comfortably into the position he’s got you in.
It doesn’t make the wait any easier.
You’re not sure how long it’s really been when he finally deems you stretched enough, but he finally pulls his fingers free. You whimper at the cold dribble of lube as he spreads a bit more across your stretched hole, the slick sounds echoing in the room telling you he’s likely spreading it across himself too.
“Alright, love,” he says, notching himself at your back hole with both hands on your hips. “Loosen up for me now.”
The stretch is sinful as he finally gives you his cock, enough for you to feel the sting but not at a painful point. Your eyes roll back in pleasure instead of frustration, and your knees shift just a little wider to welcome him more fully into your body.
“Fuck, you feel good<’ he grunts, grip tightening on your hip.
On a normal night with Ghost, you’d expect minimal prep and long rounds of edging. He likes to keep you from coming for as long as possible, then coax an orgasm that feels earthshattering from you when he finally shoves you off that ledge. Either that, or he fucks you quick and dirty - in the yard outside, in the shower, in the middle of the night, really any time he feels like getting off. With you around, there’s no need to masturbate. That leaves you getting bent over and used at any time he feels the slightest urge to get off, but you couldn’t mind less.
Now, though, Ghost paces himself far more slowly than usual. His thrusts are long, bottoming out and pulling back until the head of his cock just barely breaches your hole. If you couldn’t feel the way his hands bruise your hips, you’d almost call his pace leisurely. 
The two of you are near silent as he fucks you, content to fill the air with soft moans and the occasional whine instead of dirty talk. It feels nice, such slow sex with Simon. It’s a side of him he rarely lets you see, even now.
He knows you can’t come from anal alone, and is feeling generous enough to grab one of your hands and shift it down, telling you, “Rub your clit for me, love. Wanna feel you come.”
And, well, who are you to disobey?
You bring yourself to a slow, rolling orgasm with rhythmic circles against your clit, hips working against his even with his grip. You moan more loudly now, moith open and spit spreading across the pillow.
“Si-Simon,” you gasp. “Feels so good, so deep.”
“Yeah? Deep in your ass, huh, love?”
“Mhmm, mhmm. Can hardly br-breathe around you, Si.”
“I know, so big in your little hole. You’re taking me well, though, being such a good girl for me. Gonna - fuck, love - gonna make me come, give you a nice load then plug you up.”
“Yes, yes…”
“You want that? Want to be stuffed with my come? Keep me inside of you ‘til I say you can take the plug out?”
“Yes, I’ll keep it in for you, Si, be so good for you.”
“Oh, I know it, love. Always a good girl for me, most perfect girl… fuck, feel so good around me…”
He groans when he finally gets himself off, pulling you back onto his harsher thrusts and letting your channel squeeze the come from him. You rub your clit a few more times, ignoring the aftershocks in favor of forcing your muscles to milk him a bit.
When he finally pulls out, he tucks a good-sized plug into your loosened hole before any of his come can slip out. You shift from your knees to your stomach with a soft hum, tugging a pillow into your arms as your eyes drift shut.
“You stayin’ in here for a bit?” Ghost asks, brushing some of your hair away from your face and dipping down to press a dry kiss to your cheek.
“Hmm. Gonna take a nap before dinner.”
“Alright. Need any help tonight?”
“No,” you hum, curling deeper into the bedding. “You can set the table, if you really want.”
You hear him laugh as he pulls away, weight shifting off of the mattress. “I’ll leave that to Johnny, I think.”
A few moments later the door click softly shut behind him, and you float into a peaceful slumber while trying to half-plan dinner. 
———————————————————————
You’re half-asleep when you feel someone shift in bed next to you, their body covering yours. There’s a distinct hardness against the small of your back, and you press back against him.
“Stay still,” you hear Gaz whisper in your ear as he urges you further onto your stomach. You hum a little in response as he settles over you, kneeing your thighs apart enough for him to rest between them. “Don’t wanna wake anyone else up, right sweetheart?”
You hum again in what’s probably supposed to be agreement, but is really just a half-asleep sound. You trust all your boys, though, so you’re perfectly content to let Kyle do whatever he wants.
You sleep naked these days, so it’s easy for him to spread your cheeks a bit, to rub at your folds. You’re still a little damp from the shower sex with Price you’d had right before bed, and Kyle doesn’t seem to think you need much more than that.
You’re almost asleep again when you feel the tip of his cock at your hole, and then the familiar weight of him entering you. It’s hard not to groan, especially when you’re so dazed, but you think you do a good job.
Well, until Kyle shushes you loudly, stuffing a few of his fingers into your mouth. 
You make a small offended noise, but it shifts into a sound of pleasure when he sinks fully inside of you.
“Hush. Don’t wanna share you right now, just needed to feel you for a bit.”
You feel his hips shift against yours before he sort of falls to the side, taking you with him. You’re left spooning him, his cock buried deep inside of you and kept warm by your body.
He sighs, pleased, against your back and pulls his fingers from your mouth, letting his hand float down to rest on one of your breasts. He squeezes you for a few moments, but that only works you up more and has you squirming against him.
Kyle makes a small, whining noise and squeezes you more tightly to him. “Stay still, love. Just want to hold you, let you hold me. Go back to sleep, yeah?”
You sigh, debate trying to get him to finish what he started, but ultimately decide that it sounds like far too much work for your current state. 
So instead you let yourself relax into Gaz, body quickly adjusting to the weight and stretch of him. It’s easier than you might’ve thought to doze off like that, held close to Kyle’s chest.
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retiredteabag · 1 month ago
Text
Wishful Thinking
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arranged marriage with Nanami… a continuation
pt. 1 - pt. 2 - pt. 3 - next part
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
You would have never imagined, but as it turns out, you’ve only known your spouse 48 hours and you’ve already begun to love married life.
In this time, lots has occurred, for one, you had to explain to your husband repeatedly that you really, truly, genuinely, had absolutely no opinion on where to spend the honeymoon.
He didn’t take too fondly to that…
--
"Please-" You had insisted, "Wherever you'd like! Whatever you choose, I'll be very happy with."
He had sighed, running a hand down his face, "I would much prefer to hear where you enjoy traveling."
You had confessed that you never really had the chance to leave the estate or school. Only on rare occasions were you presented the opportunity to venture outside, even when working as a sorcerer. You hadn’t even been on a school trips.
"Mountains or beaches?" He asked, the two of you were seated on the shared couch, his morning coffee in hand.
"I don't mind. I would love to see either."
He seemed to blink for a second too long, breathing in, he offered, "Do you have an interest in cities? Or do you prefer the countryside?"
You just smiled, "I promise you, I don't have an opinion either way, whatever you like."
"Alright... Do you care to fly, or would you like a cruise?"
The idea stressed you out a bit. Shrugging, before you answer, he grumbles your name, "What do you enjoy? Shopping? Hiking? Sightseeing?" He doesn't give you time to respond, "Eating? What cuisine do you like, by the way? That might help you decide."
You hold up a wobbly hand, "Woah...um can I be honest?"
Your husband sits up straight. Just a day before, you would have never even considered speaking so casually, but, just as you anticipated, he reasures you quickly, "Please do."
"Well... the things is, I would really just prefer you to choose..."
Nothing would feel worse than if said anything he didn’t like. You can tell your husband is a cooperative guy, he would likely just go with whatever you offered. The problem is that you want him to be happy. And frankly, you're not really sure what you like. Making a decision would be too much right now. You hardly know the things you enjoy yourself.
--
That same day, Nanami had requested you view him as a friend, any mention of your "wifely duties" and he would grimace. Eventually, through your easy back and forth, you were able to persuade him into telling you what part he played in this union the two of you shared.
"I... well, I'll speak freely as you have done... I took very little pleasure in Jujutsu society for some time." He huffed.
You had known this much, but as he continued, your dread mounted even more.
"The higher ups were not so fond of this idea-"
"But-" You interrupted, "Oh, I'm sorry, but, you're not from a clan, how could they have any sway in your decision?"
He just grinned, "You must not know, in your position, but the higher-ups have lots of sway in any sorcerers life, despite my...birth status."
"I had no idea..."
This, at least, was news to you. "They believed that an arranged marriage would keep you in the world of sorcery?"
He looked at you strangely then, "Yes, they were sure of that much. That is, marriage to a fellow sorcerer, and," He paused momentarily and cleared his throat, tugging at his collar, "The prospect of a child." He finished.
Oh.
There was an awkward silence between you two. Neither making eye contact.
Too uncomfortable…
Mmm, we have a nice coffee table...
Should you say something...?
You grin slowly, "We’re more similar than I thought."
He looks up at you and suddenly you are cold in the heat of his gaze. He hums low in his throat, "I'm very glad you think so."
--
After much prattling, and assurance on your end that you REALLY did not want to pick the location of your honeymoon, Nanami made a slight offering of an opinion. That being an “adventure train”.
"Oh! That sounds lovely!" You immediately respond. Just grateful he finally said something he could look forward to.
You had no idea what an “adventure train” entailed.
He squinted accusatorily, "Oh, please, I know you're just saying that."
"No, I'm not" you pout, "I love trains...on summer and winter breaks I would ride the train from Tokyo home..."
Chuckling he smirks, "Yes, well, this would be a little different from those trains” he calls your name, “honestly, I would like to hear about you." He settles comfortably into the sofa.
Suddenly confused by this, you start, “Oh... what would you like to know?"
"About you." Hes so matter of fact, "I want to know about the real you. Not....this person you are right now."
You straighten your spine, "What-" you scoff, "What are you talking about?"
He just laughs, it's deep and his chest shutters a bit, "I'm talking about how you just live by what other people want. You haven't told me a single thing that you enjoy since we've been together, which I must admit hasn't been very long-"
"Exactly!” You point at him. Almost stick your tongue out, then think better of it.
"Which hasn't been very long-" he restates, "But really, just last night you couldn't even tell me the kind of food you wanted-"
"Because I really didn't mind! I would have loved anything!"
"Precisely. I want to know-" He leans in close and you almost gasp at the suddenness of it, "What you like." He twists a hair out of your face and grins, "If I asked, I doubt you could answer me your favorite color."
"Well...I-"
He tilts his head and suddenly you feel accused. "You like them all, don't you?"
"There's nothing wrong with that." You smirk.
"No." He finally gives you room, leaning back and examining you now. “No, not at all. But I doubt you have anything you could name me that you would like right now, like for me to do, or say, like to be given, like to-" "I'd like-" You start, "For you to stop with all this nonsense."
"Very good...that's a start, I'm sure you would like that- you little people pleaser."
"I don't think there is anything...wrong with trying to make people happy." You stare firmly. You mean it.
It's strange, just a moment ago, you felt uncomfortable making eye contact, but now, your gazes rival one another.
"Just so long as you're not... making yourself into whatever you think someone wants to see. Just so long as you are being yourself." He hums.
Okay, this wasn't fun anymore.
You lose the fight, looking at your hands instead of those striking eyes. If you were being honest with yourself, you don't even know those things that he spoke of. What you like, what you think, who you really are. Is it so wrong to just try to be... what everyone else wants?
"I'm not lying though..." You look up once more, "I really would rather you just pick what we eat and where we go..."
"I believe you." He's not smiling now, "Really, I do. But what I would like is to learn of what you want."
There's a small flare inside of you that burns iron hot with his pushing this point, you extinguish it, finally saying, "I don't know what I want. I think I just…want what you want." You roll your eyes, shrugging our more. You know he must find you ridiculous.
Nanami purses his lips, the hand that was previously on your hair, is now on your chin. He looks so serious, yet somehow, kind.
"I'll teach you."
Your heart thumps.
It won't work, you think.
What you don't know, is that Nanami Kento is the most persistent and dedicated man to walk the earth and he, unlike you, does not so easily give up.
--
The next morning, while you riffle through the luggage you have packed for your multi-destinational luxury excursion, you recall that moment on the couch when he brushed his hand across your jaw.
He had been so soft. How could a sorcerer, one of his caliber even, have such a gentle hand?
You shudder.
Shaking your head, you zip up your suitcase, run a hand across your goose-bumped arm, and try to focus your energy on things other than your husbands hands, or his laugh, or his voice-
You shut your door to your room a little too harshly.
A form in the kitchen startles at the noise and quickly shuffles to the hallway,
The energy you had so determinedly focused on less appealing thoughts fades to nothing as Nanami makes his way toward you, a mug in hand.
His hair looks tousled in an annoyingly handsome way, he’s dressed casually, but it looks undeniably attractive, his shirt is loose everywhere and when he moves, it outlines his waist.
His waist? God. Get yourself together.
"Are you alright?" Nanami calls your name. His brows are taught and he’s bend towards you slightly.
"What? Yes, yes I'm quite well. I-I've just finished packing, see?" You pull your over-large suitcase in front of you.
"Oh..." He smiles, "Well done. Well, would you?
Huh? “…Would I what?"
"...Like honey…” he lifts the cup he hold in a large hand, “in your tea?"
My tea?
Oh god, you hope he hadn't already asked you that. (He definitely had.)
"Oh! Uhh is there already some in there?" You point to the steaming cup in his hand.
He grins, and it looks unbelievably feline in nature. "No, first you tell me if you like honey in your tea."
You scoff. He was still on about this. "I drink it both ways.” You raise your nose up at him.
He comes in close, suddenly appearing much taller than you remember, "Yes. I know you do. But how do you like it."
You reach for the mug but he doesn't let go, allowing you to grip his hand. "This is just perfect." You grunt, trying to pull the mug from his grasp. It doesn’t budge.
"So you don't mind that I sweetened it?" He looks at you, blond locks flopping into his face.
You grin, "Perfect." Your shoulders roll back, recalling how much you adored when a maid would add sugar to the tea pots back home. "I adore honey."
"Oh, good." He only then tugs his hand from yours, waltzing into the kitchen.
You follow behind in a very “lost pet” sort of fashion. It's only when he pulls a jar of honey from the cabinet and begins to spoon some of the golden nectar out that you realize he has played you.
You gasp. "Auh! You lied!"
He just grins. But you continue, "I like it both ways, really.” You cover your face, “really, a-and you don't have to make this for me, you know, I can do it myself."
He finishes stirring it and holds the mug out, handle facing you. He's leaned on the kitchen counters. He must feel very accomplished now, with that smug look covering his face.
"Don't worry, I'm well aware. Can't I do even this for you?" He gives you a funny smile. "I figured you liked sweets. You seemed to enjoy dessert the other night."
"You are a strangely observant creature Mr. Nanami Kento." You huff, taking the tea outstretched to you and sip.
It's delicious.
He hums, grinning, but you don’t see, "Is that right?"
You look up again and realize he's been watching you drink.
"Yes, you are."
He just chuckles, leaning further back on the counters.
"I was asking about the tea, honey."
He just laughs, leaving the kitchen. You take a deep breath, eyes closed and try to compose yourself. Somewhat peeved because, yes, the tea really was just right.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
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shy-writer-999 · 4 months ago
Note
AHOY can i humbly request op men hcs for when they accidentally cum too early (monster trio + ace sabo law and kid) if you so desire 🤲
i got a couple requests about this same idea and i am so happy to oblige!! (afab reader) please note there are a handful of instances of "girl" being used in dirty talk! (´ ᴗ`✿)
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ZORO
He’s buried deep inside of you when he cums on accident.
He can’t help it, you’re just too wet and hot for him—he underestimated how close he was to cumming.
You’re both sitting up and you’re straddling him with your legs wrapped around him. Every time he fucks up into you, his tip nudges on your g-spot.
The dirty noises you make are what really drive him crazy.
Every time you say, “fuck Zoro,” or “feels so good, Zoro” his cock twinges—he can only take so much.
One particularly deep thrust and he’s convulsing and shuddering.
He can’t even get out a warning, he just explodes inside of you with a deep groan.
“Zoro, did you just cum? What the fuck”
“’m sorry babe”
His cum is leaking out of your cunt and you’re pouting because you were really looking forward to cumming on his cock.
“I wanted it, Zoro” >:(
He pulls out of you, and you whimper at the emptiness.
“I’ll make it up to you” he purrs in your ear, and you get goosebumps.
He picks you up and puts you on your back on the bed. He scoots down between your thighs and starts to fuck his cum back into you with his fingers.
“Does that feel good, baby?”
“Do you like it when I finger fuck you? You like how my fingers feel inside of you?”
You quickly become a fucked-out mess. He knows how to use his hands, that’s for sure.
He admires the cum seeping out of your entrance that he shoves back in with his fingers—it adds so much lubrication, and the idea that your wetness and his cum combined are being stuffed back inside of you gets him hard (again).
“Cum on my fingers, baby, juuusttt like that.”
SANJI
You’re riding him cowgirl-style when he cums inside you too early.
His hands are on your hips and he’s looking up at you, mesmerized by the way you roll your hips on his cock and by the way your tits bounce as you grind back and forth.
He’s lost in pleasure. Heat builds inside of him and every time you moan his name so sweetly, he gets closer to letting go.
Unexpectedly, his orgasm crashes on him like some huge wave, white-hot and crushing.
He bucks his cock up into you and his grip tightens on your hips, holding you in place.
He can feel your walls pulse around him, and you try to keep fucking him, not realizing what just happened—you’re confused at the fact that he’s making you stay still.
When you inspect his face further, he’s making that face, the face he makes when he orgasms.
His brows are pinched together, his eyes are closed, and his mouth is open. He’s making the cutest panting sounds and lets out the occasional muted whine.
“Fuck, my love, sorry”
“Sanji, did you just cum?”
“Mmmhmmm sweetheart, my bad”
He takes a couple moments more, surrendering to the last ripples of pleasure from his orgasm
“Just give me one minute and I’ll go for round two, gorgeous.”
His eyes are glossy, his cheeks are flushed, and his hair is ruffled—he looks messy, and it emphasizes how hot he is.
You make the move to pull off his cock, but his hands hold you in place.
“Hold on, angel, I’ll be ready in just a second.”
You huff and sigh, sitting there with his cock in you. It does feel good so there’s not much to complain about. Also, his refractory period is insane; he can go round after round, and he never fails to make you orgasm multiple times.
He’s like a rabid animal for your pleasure and he’ll do anything to get more.
After a few minutes, he’s ready to go again.
“Alright darling, keep riding me. Wanna feel you cum on my cock now.”
LUFFY
Luffy is fucking your doggy style with his chest pressing on your back.
His arms are wrapped around your waist and he’s fucking you hard and fast.
You have no clue what’s going on other than that Luffy is railing you into oblivion.
He’s literally feral and could fuck you for hours (and he does)
After so much toe-curling pleasure being extracted for your core, you’re sweaty, sticky, and dripping with own arousal.
There’s a small puddle underneath where he’s fucking you—drops of your own juices that have seeped downwards.
You can hardly talk at this point, the only word you can force out is his name “Luffy.”
In an instant he cums all over your insides, painting your insides white. It’s so much cum that it oozes out of your entrance and onto the base of his cock.
He knew that he shouldn’t have, but the orgasm had hit him like a train.
“Fuckkkk” he groans and pulls out of you.
“Luffy, did you just cum?” You’re annoyed because you had been so so close to orgasming.
“Yep” He’s nonchalant about it.
He doesn’t think it was such a big deal, but he knows that he should and will make you cum. He always does, so it’s no biggie if he released too early on this one. No matter what happens you will be more than satisfied.
So, he fingers you for a while until he can go again, then he fucks you so hard you see stars.
LAW
When he’s not making sweet love to you, he has a really dirty mouth.
He lets it all out shamelessly.
“Poor little thing. You need me to fix you up?”
His voice is deep and sounds like honey, with a sprinkle of smugness
He’d like you to beg him for it, he gets off on the idea that you need his cock so much you resort to being pathetic and whining for it.
“Yeah, you want my cock that badly? You wanna cum on my cock like a good girl?”
He’d fuck you prone bone and rub your clit at the same time, and when he gets tired of that he makes you ride him reverse cowgirl.
He is an ass man, there’s no question about it.
He’d grab fistfuls of your ass as he watches himself slide in and out of you.
As you spasm around his girthy cock, he starts feeling like he’s going to lose control.
He’d groan and growl at you to keep going, “ride it just like that and don’t stop.”
He’d throw in the occasional pet name—they only make an appearance in bed.
He’d praise you and tell you that you’re “doing such a good job for me, sweetheart, pussy feels like it’s made for me.”
Out of the blue, he’s cumming. He didn’t realize that he was at that point and he’s surprised.
“Fuck, fuck, I’m cumming, fuck.”
He loves to cum in you, but he pulls out at the last second and cums on your ass.
“Lawww,” you whine. “Wanted to cum on your cock. Why’d you pull out?”
He knows that he came far too early and he’s pretty embarrassed about it, he apologizes once but won’t say more than that.
His spur of the moment thinking is that if he pulled out before you orgasmed, he can eat you out until you cum on his tongue. He’s not a huge fan of a mouthful of his own cum so he had to prevent that.
When he goes down on you, he makes a real mess until his face and your thighs are covered in your juices.
He fingers you at the same time and alternates between licking your clit and fucking you with his tongue.
And boy, does he deliver. He eats you out so well that your orgasm is better than what it would have been if you came on his cock.
Your eyes roll back in your head, and you grab and pull on his hair so hard it hurts.
“All better now?”
ACE
Ace has you in a mating press, fucking you as deep as he can.
He has one of your thighs pushed up, his fingers are digging into your supple skin.
As he grunts out sweet things, he looks so damn hot.
His muscles are rippling, his hair is really messed up, and his freckles are scrunching up.
He just won’t shut up during sex, he knows you love hearing him.
“You’re so gorgeous with my cock in you.”
“Do you like how my cock feels, pretty girl?”
“So wet for me, sweetheart”
“Your cunt is so tight for me, beautiful, you’re doing such a good job.”
“Want you to cream on my cock, baby, let it all out for me.”
Before you actually can cream on his cock, the pace of his hips becomes frenzied and haphazard.
He’s groaning suspiciously deep and desperately—you wonder, is he about to cum?
He is, in fact, about to cum.
He gets so carried away by how your walls are squeezing him and how pretty your face looks that he shoots cum inside of you unexpectedly.
His hips come to a stop and he almost collapses on top of you.
“Fuck, babe, I’m so sorry, came too early” he’s pouting, you can tell he really is sorry.
You tell him it’s ok but he knows how badly you needed it.
“Let me make it up to you” he kisses your cheeks and forehead and then pulls out of you.
He goes to grab your vibrator and comes back.
Ace spreads your legs on the bed and one of his hands comes to hold your thigh down for better access.
He turns on the vibrator’s pulse setting and holds it up to your clit, you yelp in response.
"Fuck, Ace, feels so good” you keen his name as the vibrator’s pulses send zaps of electric pleasure to your core.
He starts to finger fuck you and you get to the point of orgasm rapidly.
“You’re doing such a good job, princess, just a little bit more.”
“Cum on my fingers, darling.”
You cum and gush all over his fingers.
Afterwards he gives you kisses and promises he’ll try his best not to cum too early next time.
SABO
Okay, so I DO want to write about Sabo but I fear I don’t know his personality much since he hasn’t reappeared where I’m at in the anime—it will only be in a few episodes though, I think! So I’m going to do my best guesses based on what I know about him. From my understanding he’s a little freak of a man, and by that I mean he’s HOT and I want him to be freaky in bed… Also he seems polite. AM I tripping or does it seem like he’d be the type to do love bites during sex and have a really dirty mouth? And he could get a little possessive…
Am I just projecting? … Probably. So here’s what I came up with:
He’s fucking you in missionary when he cums too early.
He’s in the middle of saying something really nasty.
One of his hands is braced next to your head and the other reaches down to rub circles on your clit.
When your hips jerk up in response, he has a little smirk.
“Does that feel good? You like it when I touch your clit?”
Because of his position, he gets a really deep angle, fucking down and into you.
He watches your face the whole time and adjusts his movements based on how much you moan or how contorted your face is with pleasure.
“Fuccckkkkk, you’re taking it so good.”
He adjusts his strokes to be as fast as they can, and when your fingernails start digging into his skin the pain pushes him over the edge (he likes it)
When he cums too early, he’s pretty dramatic about it.
Just shoots his cum inside of you with heaving breaths and the cutest O-face.
He apologizes a lot afterwards and will do anything you ask him to, so he can make up for it.
---
Also aaaghhhhh I wanna feed the kid lovers so bad but I fear I am just not attracted to him so I shan’t write for him (well, not right now at least…)
that's all for this one!! don't be shy to send over some pseudo-kinktober requests, check my masterlist for the info or just send over whatever pops into ur head lol.
2K notes · View notes
sunniques · 2 months ago
Text
— 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲
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➺ PAIRING: jay park x female reader
➺ GENRE: hybrid au, smut
➺ SUMMARY: the story of how you end up spending a week alone with your owner’s hot friend.
➺ CW/TW: cat hybrid!reader, heeseung as reader’s owner, (slight) somnophilia, fingering, oral sex (f & m), unprotected sex, squirting, creampies, overstimulation, multiple rounds
➺ WC: 5k
NOTE: don’t like, don’t read.
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“Please?”
Once Heeseung looks into your wide, pleading eyes he knows he’s done for. From the moment he adopted you, he’s never been able to deny any of your requests no matter how unreasonable they were. This time is no different. The only difference is that now he’s also going to make your wish his friend’s problem.
“Okay,” he concedes quickly. “But only if Jay says yes. If not, you’ll have to stay with Jake.”
You can’t hide your excitement. “Thank you, Seungie!”
Your owner laughs joyfully when you throw your arms around him and affectionately nuzzle your cheek against his. As usual, you’ve coaxed him into giving you what you want. That’s part of the reason you love him so much. There isn’t anything he won’t do to make you happy.
“I’ll call him now and ask if he’ll look after you while I’m gone,” Heeseung says as he gets up from the couch.
You give him a nod, settling back on the cushions as he gets his hot friend on the phone. Once you hear the door to Heeseung’s room close, you jump off the couch with a squeal. You skip over to your room, heart racing as you think about the fact that you’re going to spend an entire week with Jay, alone. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll say yes since Heeseung is the one asking. You giddily start to pack your bags, knowing your owner will come into your room shortly to tell you the good news.
“She wants to stay with me?”
Heeseung laughs at his friend’s disbelief. “Yeah. I’ve told you before that Y/N really likes you.”
“Uh,” Jay swallows nervously. “Really?”
His friend laughs again, but Jay can’t see the humor in the situation. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help his friend out, but he’s always thought that you hate him. Almost every time he visited Heeseung, you stayed in your room until he left. On the off chance that you didn’t hide away in your room, you were glued to your owner’s side and shied away from any attention Jay tried to give you.
At first, he thought that’s all it was—you being shy. However, when he spoke to Sunghoon and Jake, he found out that you were an extremely friendly cat. They even showed him cute pictures and videos to prove it.
“Yes, bro. She wouldn’t ask to stay with you if she didn’t.”
Jay licks his lips and scratches his temple. “Okay, yeah. Y/N can stay with me.”
He can picture Heeseung’s bright smile. “Thanks! I’ll stop by on Friday to drop her off.”
“Sounds good.”
“I really do appreciate it.”
When Heeseung hangs up, Jay flops back on his bed. His heart pounds harshly against his ribcage as he thinks about what he’s agreed to. Maybe this will be an opportunity for you and him to finally get closer. Somehow, he manages to push past the nerves he feels to remind himself that will be a good thing.
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On Friday, you’re practically skipping with joy as Heeseung leads you to his friend’s apartment. You swing your intertwined hands back and forth as your nose picks up on all the new scents surrounding you. Heeseung smiles fondly as he goes to knock on his friend’s door. He can tell you’re excited about being in a new place, and it makes him less worried about leaving you for a week.
You suck in a quiet break when the door opens. Jay looks extremely good, and you can’t keep your eyes off of him as your owner gives him one of those man-hugs that male humans do.
“Hey, Y/N,” Jay gives you a friendly smile after he separates from his friend.
“Hi,” you say shyly, barely resisting the urge to hide behind Heeseung.
You’re led inside a second later, and you can’t keep your eyes from examining every inch of the place. It’s nice and spacious. The more you look around, the more excited you are for your stay.
“I prepared the guest room for you,” Jay says as he leads you down the hall to a nice, spacious room.
You let go of Heeseung’s hand as you venture further into the room. It’s nice and comfy-looking, but it doesn’t really smell like Jay. Like at all. You try not to frown as you thank him sweetly. He seems relieved that you don’t dislike it.
Heeseung sets your bags down on the bed, smiling a little sadly at you. “Okay, well I have to leave now if I want to catch my flight.”
You pout slightly but nod and follow the two men to the living room. Although you are excited to be left alone with Jay, part of you feels sad. You’ve never been away from your owner for this long before.
Heeseung stops and gives you a sweet smile that you love so much. “Y/N. Be a good girl while I’m gone.”
You roll your eyes, but nod obediently anyway. “I promise I’ll be good, Hee.”
Your owner gives you a warm hug, whispering promises to be back soon.
After Heeseung leaves, Jay invites you to watch a movie with him. He’s nervous and shy, but the feelings slowly dissolve when you happily agree and join him on the couch.
“Can we cuddle?” You ask boldly, tail swishing behind you.
Jay swallows thickly. He can’t look away from you. The way you asked was so sweet that he knows if you were ever to ask him for anything else, he wouldn’t be able to say no.
“We can’t?” Your ears flatten against your head as your lips form a pout.
“W-We can,” Jay rushes out, feeling a blush crawl up his neck. “It’s just—you don’t have to ask.”
You grin and pounce on him. Jay laughs as you crawl on his lap and nuzzle your head under his chin. He holds you close to him as your sleek tail wraps around his waist.
“Heeseung always tells me to ask before I cuddle humans,” you explain as you press yourself closer to him.
Jay licks his lips and closes his eyes when you start to purr. One of his hands gently caresses your hips while the other gently smooths up and down your calf. You grin into his neck, happy that you decided to wear a skirt. All of your plans are slowly coming together, and you know by the end of the week, you’ll have Jay exactly where you want him.
When the night rolls around, you put on the cute nightie Heeseung bought you on your birthday. You wait for a bit before you tiptoe to Jay’s bedroom. Luckily the door is open, and he’s standing by his bed. He’s in nothing but a pair of sweats with his hair still wet from his shower. You bite your lip as your eyes linger on his muscular torso.
“Jay,” you call softly, making sure to keep your eyes on his face.
“Y/N,” Jay’s face is a little flushed. His eyes soften when he sees the hesitant expression on your face. “What’s wrong?”
Your ears twitch as you play with your thumbs. “I-I’m not really used to sleeping alone anymore. I thought I would be okay, but…”
Jay’s heart clenches. You look so nervous and shy. Heeseung never mentioned that you still had trouble sleeping alone. Maybe it’s because you miss him so much that you can’t sleep. So, he ignores the harsh beat of his heart to give you a warm smile.
“You can sleep with me… if you want.”
You nod shyly, mumbling out a quiet okay before slowly entering his room. Jay draws the covers for you, waiting until you’re settling in his bed to get in next to you. His heart is pounding when you cuddle up to his side. You breathe out a sigh of relief when Jay wraps an arm around you to pull you closer.
It’s easy for you to fall asleep in his warm embrace, and all you can think about is how you’ll have Jay wrapped around your finger by the end of the week.
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Jay feels like the worst friend ever.
You’re extremely precious to Heeseung, yet here he is, lusting after you. It’s not his fault you’re extremely lovable and beautiful. You’re extremely sweet and cute. Anything you do makes him feel an intense amount of affection. He’d be made of stone if he didn’t feel anything for you at all.
Honestly, he can’t feel too bad since it’s obvious that you feel the same way about him. It’s why he’s woken up to you nuzzling his cock through his underwear for three days straight. Today, he doesn’t feel like pretending to be asleep until you stop. When he quietly groans out your name, it only encourages you.
You mewl and whine as you press your face closer to his bulge to rub your cheek against it. Jay coos at you, moving his hand to gently caress one of your soft ears. That’s all the encouragement you need to give his thick cock a kitten lick. Your tongue wets his hardening cock through his underwear. Jay can’t keep quiet as you grow more eager with your movements, soaking the fabric until it’s sticking to his dick.
By now, Jay’s fully hard. He keeps groaning as he lets you have your way with his cock. Finally, you have enough and decide you want to taste the real thing. You lift your head and bite your lip. Dark eyes stare at you with heat as your sleep tail swishes behind you. Without any hesitation, you pull his underwear down his thighs, moaning when you see his big cock slap against his lower abdomen. It’s twitching and leaking with precum that’s ready to be lapped up.
Your eyes gleam as you go to get your treat. Jay moans loudly when you start to suckle his tip. You mewl as your rough tongue laps at his slit repeatedly, eagerly licking up all the precum dripping from his cock.
“Fuck, kitten,” Jay groans, voice thick with sleep. “Couldn’t wait until I woke up, hm?”
You stare at him as your tongue lolls out to messily lap at his sticky tip. The whine you let out is so cute that Jay can’t stop himself from petting your twitching ears.
You pout at him cutely. “Just wanted a taste.”
“Yeah?” Jay groans as his hips shift, nudging your mouth with his cock. He curses under his breath when you take his aching dick into your mouth. “Pretty kitty just wanted some cream, huh?”
You moan in confirmation, eagerly taking his thick cock down your throat. Saliva drips from the corners of your mouth as you bob your head up and down. Jay moans loudly as your tongue caresses the tip of his dick, slurping up all the precum greedily. His eyes almost cross from how good your hot little mouth feels. He’s never had anyone else give him head like this, and he knows that nothing else will ever compare.
“God, baby,” Jay groans when you release his cock with a lewd pop and start to lick your way down to his balls.
He spreads his legs when you take his sac into your mouth. You whine as you suckle and lick at the sensitive skin. The vibrations from the sounds you’re making make him moan loudly. His cock is leaking steadily now. Precum drips down his throbbing length and down to his balls. Your eyes zero in on the shiny trail it leaves behind. You pull away from his balls, leaving them coated in your saliva. Jay tries not to cum when you start to lick back up his cock, lapping up his precum with a wanton mewl.
“You got my cum all over your lips, kitten,” Jay pants, cock pulsing and leaking with more precum for you to lap up. “Such a messy girl.”
The way he’s gazing at you fondly makes your cunt clench around nothing. Your tail sways excitedly as you hum against his cock. “Your messy girl.”
With that, you open your mouth to take his cock back into your mouth. You swallow as much of it as you can take. Jay groans again, hips bucking up to sink his cock further down your throat. He’s petting your ears as his balls start to tighten up.
“I’m close, baby,” Jay groans.
You moan in satisfaction and relax your mouth to sink further down on his cock. His leaking tip hits the back of your throat, which makes Jay let out a guttural groan.
“Fuck—Y/N!”
You feel his big cock pulse wildly before his orgasm hits. Ropes of hot cum spill into your mouth, and you eagerly swallow it all. Jay’s pretty face contorts into a blissful expression as you pull your mouth up and let him shoot the rest of his load on your tongue. Your tail sways back and forth as your mouth fills with his hot cum. You swallow every last drop before you start to lave your rough tongue across his twitching cock to clean up anything you missed.
“Tastes so good,” you moan before kissing the tip of his dick.
Jay sits up and yanks you toward him. You whine when he smashes his lips on yours, kissing you messily. He pulls you closer until you’re practically on his lap. You moan into his mouth when he forces his tongue past your lips to taste you. Jay’s large hands squeeze your hips as his tongue smooths over your own. His mind is swimming, and he can’t help but think that you taste so much sweeter when you’re mixed with him.
When Jay finally separates from you, his gaze is dark. Those hungry eyes slowly trail down your body. Jay bites his lips before he goes to pull off your nightie. He lets out a groan when he sees your naked body on display for him. The sultry look on your face is starting to drive him crazy. With your cute tail swishing back and forth excitedly, he knows he’s got you exactly where he wants you.
Large hands trail down your body until one of them is cupping your hot cunt. You mewl and keen into Jay’s hand when his fingers gently trace over your slit. He licks his lips. “You’ll let me play with your little pussy, won’t you, baby?”
You moan with a nod, grinding down into his hand. “Yes, fuck. Want you so bad, Jay.”
“I know, kitten,” his voice is full of lust. “Don’t worry. I’m going to stuff your pretty little cunt until it’s the shape of my cock.”
You yowl when he manhandles you onto your hands and knees. He does it so effortlessly that you can feel more slick drip out of you. Jay gets behind you, groaning when he sees your arousal covering your thighs.
“Fuck, kitty. You’re fucking soaked,” Jay growls heatedly as he palms your ass.
He almost loses it when he sees your hole clench in need. Jay spreads your ass and buries his face in your pussy. His hot tongue parts your slit to lap up all your juices before he moves on to your clit. He starts to lap at it like a starved man, moaning into your heat like you did around his cock. His tongue flicks your puffy bud, licking up every last drop of your arousal. You cry out as his hungry mouth devours your cunt.
“So fucking sweet. Can’t wait to fuck your pretty little pussy.”
You whine loudly when he pulls away from your cunt. The empty feeling is quickly soothed when you feel him spit on it before diving back in to fuck his tongue into your hole. Unabashed moans fall from your lips as you buck your pussy back into his mouth. You whimper in pleasure when Jay slips two fingers into your clenching pussy. He angles his wrist to push more juices out of your squelching cunt. Almost immediately, he finds your g-spot. Your legs start to shake when he starts to rub that soft spot inside you.
“Oh fuck,” you wail, hips rutting back eagerly. “God, Jay. Feels so fucking good. I’m gonna—”
The way you’re gushing into his mouth and fingers makes Jay grin deviously. “You’re gonna cum already, baby? Or are you gonna squirt for me?”
You mewl, embarrassed that he can tell. “Fuck, Jay. Y-You can’t just…”
“Can’t what, kitty?” Jay laughs teasingly. “Just do it for me, yeah? I wanna feel you squirt on my tongue.”
With that, his tongue dives back into your pulsing cunt. The mind-numbing rhythm of his fingers and tongue pushes you over the edge quickly. With a loud moan of his name, you clamp down on his fingers and cum. Your cunt gushes slick all over his face and hand, completely drenching him in your juices. You can’t even feel embarrassed because pleasure clouds all of your senses and thoughts.
“Fuck, kitten. That’s it,” Jay moans into your pussy as he greedily laps up everything you’re releasing.
You mewl loudly as he licks you clean. His tongue smooths over your sensitive bundle of nerves until you’re trembling against him. Jay groans into your heat one last time before deciding you’re ready to take his cock. Just before he pulls away, he presses a gentle kiss on your pussy.
Jay kneels behind you, nudging the head of his cock against your slick entrance. His large hands spread your ass so he gets a full view of how your little hole stretches open for his fat cock. The strangled moan he lets out as he sinks into your hot cunt mixes in with your loud cry of pleasure. He bottoms out with one rough thrust. Your ears twitch as his pelvis rests flush against your ass.
You moan loudly when Jay caresses your tail, stroking it from the base until you’re bucking your hips against him and gushing all over his thick cock.
“Jay!” You cry out as your claws dig into his sheets.
“Such a pretty kitty,” Jay’s grunt is deep as he pumps his cock in and out of your sopping cunt. “Tight little pussy’s gonna milk me dry.”
He slaps your ass before he yanks on your tail. You cry out wantonly, pussy tightening around him as your eyes roll to the back of your skull. Jay keeps pounding into your dripping cunt mercilessly. He’s splitting you open just like he promised, and you love every second of it.
“Harder,” you whine, ass bouncing back to meet his rough movements. “Fuck. Want more. Please.”
Jay smirks through a pleased groan. He grabs your arms and pulls your body backward into a pretty arch. His cock throbs inside you as your pussy flutters and pulses at the new angle. It feels like he’s fucking his cock deeper into you. You moan about how much you love it since it feels like his leaking tip is practically slamming into your womb.
“Didn’t know you were such a cockhungry kitty,” Jay’s deep laugh makes you tighten around his cock again.
You let out a broken whine, eyes rolling back as he splits you open. Slick is dripping down your thighs, filling the air with a wet plap plap plap sound every time Jay rolls his hips against you. His heavy balls slap your aching clit with every rough thrust, and it just pushes you closer to your climax.
“I-It’s too much, Jay!” You cry out as he keeps drilling his aching cock into you.
His laugh is dark and so damn attractive. “You can take it, baby. You’ll take everything I give you like a good girl, right?”
A deep affection warms his chest and makes his cock twitch when you obediently nod as your rough tongue lolls out of your mouth. You’re already so fucked out that he just wants to keep that look on your face for the rest of the day.
“Good kitty,” Jay moans, hand going up to pet your soft ears. “Now squeeze your hot little pussy on my cock so I can cream it like you want.”
You do as he says, moaning loudly as your tight walls clamp down on his cock. Your legs tremble as your second orgasm hits you all full force. Pleasure consumes your entire body as you gush all over Jay’s cock.
“That’s it, baby. Shit. Good fucking girl,” Jay groans as he fucks his cock into you harder.
His hips stutter slightly, rutting against your ass when he can no longer hold back his own orgasm. Jay spills his thick load inside you. His hot cum paints your walls, and you can only mewl and take it all pliantly.
Just when you think Jay’s done, he slips one hand down to your slippery clit. His fingers rub your sensitive bud as he starts to fuck his cum deeper into you.
“Jay!” You cry out as your hips instinctively move to meet his movements.
His fingers rub fast circles on your clit until a second orgasm coats his cock again. You cry out loudly, claws digging into the couch. Jay moans along with you, slamming his dick into your sloppy hole to help you ride out your orgasm.
“God, baby. You’re gonna drive me crazy,” Jay’s voice is completely sated as he caresses your ass.
You shiver when Jay slowly pulls out of you with a low hiss. A deep groan spills from his lips when he sees your pretty pussy leaking with his cum. Something primal inside him snaps when he sees your cute little pussy dripping with his seed. His pupils dilate as he goes to spread your puffy lips, making his cum drip down your thighs.
“Jay,” you mewl as your cunt throbs with need. “Want more.”
Jay licks his lips as he fingers his cum back into your messy pussy. “Yeah? You want me to fuck your little pussy raw until you’re dripping with cum?”
Your moan is like music to his ears. “Yes, fuck. Want your cum so bad!”
Jay slaps your ass before he flips you on your back. “Dirty kitty. Just so hungry for this cock, huh?”
You mewl cutely and nod. Dark eyes stare at you, and it makes your pussy pulse with anticipation. At that moment, you that Jay is insatiable.
“I’m gonna breed this pussy all day long,” his growl makes you drip with more arousal.
Jay holds your thighs open as he sinks his cock back into your sloppy pussy. Almost instantly, you’re reduced to a fucked out mess. Your lips sloppily capture Jay’s as his fat cock spears you open. Wet squelching sounds fill the room and mix in perfectly with your desperate gasps and filthy moans. Each one of Jay’s crazed thrusts sends you further into a mindless state.
“You like it when I fuck you here, baby?” Jay rasps as his thick cock drills into you. “Like how I’m making a mess out of this little pussy?”
You mewl desperately as your hips roll to meet his harsh movements. By now, you’re acting like a desperate animal searching for release. His leaking tip keeps slamming into your g-spot, and you know it won’t be long before you’re creaming on his big cock all over again.
Jay lets out a laugh when your mouth drops open in a silent moan. He can tell you’re so cock drunk that you probably wouldn’t be able to tell him your own name if he asks. This only makes him pound into your plushy pussy harder, eager to hear you scream for him. 
“J-Jaaay,” you whine wantonly.
Once again, he laughs quietly, and leans in close. “What is it?”
You don’t immediately answer him and his mouth latches on your neck, nipping patiently. “C’mon, kitty. Use your words.”
But you literally can’t, especially when he licks a hot stripe on your neck. It all feels so good that the only thing you can think about is his cock. Eventually, you manage to speak, even if it’s just a fucked out mess of words.
“S-So good,” you mewl, eyes almost crossing. “Fu-Fuck! Love your cock!”
“That’s right, baby,” Jay groans as he starts to thrust into you with renewed urgency. “I’m fucking you real good, huh? Pretty kitty can’t get enough of this cock.”
“Yes!” You wail loudly. “It’s so good! So so good!”
Your cries get louder when Jay grabs the plush of your thighs and pushes them into your abdomen. The new angle lets him fuck his cock deeper inside you. A loud moan tears from your throat as Jay starts slamming into you at a relentless pace. It’s not long before a familiar feeling starts to build in the pit of your stomach. 
You whine and dig your nails into Jay’s forearms. “Fuck. I’m so close. Gonna cum!”
Jay smashes his mouth on yours in a sloppy kiss. He needs to feel you cream on his cock again. It’s so addicting—just like you. With one last hard thrust, you’re pushed over the edge and cum on his dick hard. Jay swallows your wanton cries of pleasure as your tight walls spasm around his cock. He keeps slamming his cock into you without mercy, needing to fuck you through it.
“I’m gonna fill you up,” Jay groans the promise against your lips. “Fuck. Gonna cream this tight pussy. Get ready to take it all, baby.”
His leaking tip that spongy spot inside you again, and that’s all he needs to release his seed inside you. Hot ropes of cum fill your pussy until it’s frothing at the base of his cock where you two are connected. The way he keeps fucking into you triggers another orgasm from you, this one more powerful than the last. You squirt all over his throbbing cock, covering his balls and lower abdomen with your juices.
Jay moans delightedly, pressing you into a position he’s dreamed of having you in. You’re completely overstimulated at this point, but you love the mating press you’ve been put in. Heavy balls slap against your ass with every sloppy thrust, and you briefly think that this is what heaven must feel like.
“Want more cum?” Jay grins knowingly, loving how you mewl desperately and clamp down on his cock.
Listening to the fucked out noises you let out makes him pound into you harder. You whimper softly as your eyes roll to the back of your head. It feels so fucking good that all you can do is moan like you’re in heat. Everything is reflected in the state of Jay’s bedsheets. They’re soaked with cum and squirt, and the room’s air is thick with the smell of sex. It’s all so filthy, but it only turns you on even more.
“Please,” you beg, needing to be filled again.
You glance down to watch Jay fuck you raw. His big cock is dripping with your mixed cum. Your pussy pulses at the filthy sight, especially when you notice the remnants from the previous rounds sticking to his thighs.
“I’ll give it to you,” Jay coos, cock throbbing as his climax steadily approaches. “Pretty little kitty’s earned some more cream.”
You moan loudly when you feel him spill into you again.
After that, Jay puts you in every position he wants and fills you with cum to your heart’s content. Finally, you end up on top of him. He’s mindlessly bouncing you on his cock, fucking you like you’re his personal fucktoy.
“That’s it, baby,” Jay growls as he kneads your ass, moving you up and down on his cock at an agonizingly slow pace.
Your hot cunt engulfs his cock deliciously. It gets tighter and tighter every time his hips thrust up to meet your movements. Your pussy is already full of his cum, but Jay can’t stop fucking you. He’s completely hooked on your pussy, and every orgasm he’s had so far only makes his cock harder and his balls tighter. Being buried all the way inside you feels too good for him to even think about stopping.
“God, kitten. You were just made to take cock, huh?”
Jay’s thrusts are slow and deep, still making sure he’s putting your pleasure above his. In all his greed, he makes sure to hit all the right spots so you cream on his cock again.
“Jay,” you moan when he lets go of one of your ass cheeks to caress your tail.
The way you moan his name makes him bounce you on his cock faster. You cry out in pleasure as your warm pussy squeezes him. A mix of your cream and his cum coat his dick to form a ring at the base of it. He’s already pulled so many orgasms from you that it’s hard to keep count, but even though you’re overstimulated you don’t think to ask him to stop. 
Jay’s eyes are focused on your face. He’s basking in the pretty faces you’re making now that you’re completely fucked out. His eyes roll to the back of his head as he starts to thrust deeper and harder into your sloppy pussy. Jay’s large hands pull your hips all the way down until you’re both cumming.
“Fuck, kitty,” Jay groans as his cock head spurts with cum. “So fucking good.”
You mewl and shove your face into his neck, purring in complete delight. The both of you are breathing heavily as you slowly come down from your highs. Neither of you make a move to separate. Jay presses sweet kisses to your hair and rubs your back soothingly as his cock pulses inside you.
“You did so good for me, baby,” he coos.
You hum into the underside of his jaw. “Loved it so much.”
Jay grins, ignoring his vibrating phone on the nightstand. He’s too busy clinging to you to read the message from Heeseung that says he’s going to come back early to surprise you.
1K notes · View notes
ugh-yoongi · 4 months ago
Text
ex-conomics | csc
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you supported seungcheol through years of being an aspiring athlete, and all you got to show for it was your undergraduate degree and an awkward, stuttered apology when he dumped you to go semi-pro. now he’s back after an injury derailed his career, and there’s only one problem: you’re the only one available to tutor him. you - 0; the universe - 1. talk about no return on investment.
⚽ pairing: choi seungcheol x f. reader ⚽ genre: exes to (lite) enemies to lovers; university au; angst, fluff ⚽ rating: while there is nothing explicit in this fic, there are two brief references to smut. while i can't stop anyone from reading this, i would prefer minors do not interact with this or any of my work. ⚽ warnings: cheol is some degree of famous, reader is a grad student/TA, mentions of an injury and coping with the aftermath of it, lots of economics talk that even i do not understand, swearing, one mention of alcohol, some misplaced jealousy, rom-com tropes, dino is kind of a loser but we love him anyway. probably a lot of other things i missed, but this is actually pretty tame for a fic of this length. ⚽ word count: 13.4k ⚽ thank you: a lot of people looked this over for me in the process and i'm sure i will forget some of them so if i do i'm sorry: @the-boy-meets-evil, @hot-soop, @highvern, and @haologram, who also gave me some wonderful ideas for the vlogs. thank you to MIT for opencourseware existing. i took microeconomics and dropped it, so i couldn't have done this without you. everyone in the discord server for helping me along the way and keeping me motivated. ⚽ author's note: i haven't posted a fic in nearly seven months, so i think it goes without saying that there are parts of this i like and a lot more i'm not 100% happy with. i'd love if this was more fleshed out and 10k longer, but i was able to write anything at all so it's good enough. this was written for the back to school with seventeen collab, hosted by @camandemstudios. thank you both for letting me participate! please make sure to check out the rest of the stories! everyone worked so hard and this collab was a ton of fun to participate in. <3
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You look down at the paper. Back up at who handed it to you. Down at the paper again.
“You’ve got to be joking.”
The poor freshman kid laughs, all nerves, and even though the sound is grating, you remember what it’s like to be forced into work study. How far away graduate school seemed; how large your professors loomed over you with all their power and knowledge and credentials; how you constantly felt like the dumbest person in nearly every room you walked into for four straight years.
“Um—”
You sigh, just barely resisting the urge to slam your head onto your desk. “I—it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Your words do little to ease Freshman’s nerves. He’s still hunched over in the doorway of your office, wringing his hands as he shifts his weight back and forth, in for a lifetime of body pain with the way he’s squaring his shoulders. “You’re sure about this, though? Like, I’m really not being set up?”
“I don’t think so?” he offers, slowly starting to turn green right before your eyes. “Dr. Lee ga-gave me the paperwork himself, I don’t think he would’ve messed it up? Oh no, did I mess it up? Should I go back to Student Services and conf—”
Good god, this kid’s anxiety is gonna stink up your office for weeks. “No need!” you interject. “I’ll just…” Sign it, you want to say, but the longer you stare at the sheet of paper the quicker you’re losing your resolve.
TUTORING REQUEST FORM Student Name: Choi Seungcheol Degree: Undergraduate Major: Business Course: ECON04101 Introduction to Microeconomics Instructor: Lee Yeonseok, PhD. Recommended Tutoring: High (3-4 hours per week)
You curse under your breath. Of the two names on the paper, Dr. Lee’s does not come as a surprise. He’s a notorious hard-ass with an infamous attrition rate—most students don’t last more than a week in any of his classes—but he’s also the sole reason you were able to pay for someof your grad school tuition out of pocket with all the tutoring money you made.
That, however, was two years ago.
“Does he know I don’t tutor anymore?” Stupid question. The kid stares blankly back at you, as if to say I don’t know any more than the people in Student Services, let alone Dr. Lee. It is literally my first year here. “I’m Dr. Ahn’s TA this year. I’ve got my hands full with her bullsh… stuff—”
Immediately, you know you’ve said something wrong, because the kid’s eyes light up, all that previous anxiety disappearing like smoke. “Wait, the same Dr. Ahn that teaches the crypto course?”
“No, that one died,” you say quickly. Kid deflates. “Anyway, I don’t really tutor anymore, especially for econ. As you can see”—you gesture vaguely around the cramped four walls of your office—“they’ve upgraded me. They even put my name on a little placard by the door! Go look! They spelled it wrong! If that doesn’t sum up this university I don’t know what does.”
You heave another sigh. Try to school your face and tone into something that exudes professionalism and finality. “Look, I’m sorry I can’t help you. I tutored Dr. Lee’s students for, like, three years in undergrad so I’m sure they just… forgot that wasn’t my actual job here. Who’s in charge of tutoring these days? I’ll shoot them an email and explain all this.”
Freshman gives you a name, and it takes less than a second to find them in the employee directory. You expect that to be the end of it, but he’s still taking up space in your doorway. You quirk an eyebrow. “Yes?”
The hand-wringing returns, along with an embarrassed flush that disappears beneath the neckline of his school-branded sweatshirt. “I just—um. Maybe you could, uh. Send that now? Before I get back there?”
You blink. “Don’t you have to go all the way back across campus? How slow do you think I type?” He shrugs, and you give up on the idea of getting rid of him. “Fine. What’s your name, anyway?”
“Lee Chan. I’m a sophomore. Do you know that guy?”
“Oh. I thought for sure you were a freshman, but you’re gonna need to be more specific, Lee Chan, Sophomore.”
“The guy they want you to tutor.” You freeze. The guy they want you to tutor is—“Choi Seungcheol,” Chan tacks on, and, yeah, you know—knew, you correct yourself—someone with that name, once upon a time.
But there are a lot of Chois and a lot of Seungcheols. It’s been years since you’ve spoken to the Seungcheol you knew, and that was when he’d broken up with you to—“I heard he’s a football player? Well, used to be, I guess. The girls in the office were freaking out so I guess he’s pretty famous, but I don’t know anything about sports, do you? They said they have photocards of him. I thought they only did that for idols.”
You think about being kids together in Daegu. Think about the exasperated looks you’d share when your parents would drag the two of you to festivals: Palgongsan in the autumn, Biseulsan in the spring; transformation and rebirth. Think about being eight years old and watching your father cram into the small space of the Chois’ living room, standing around the TV with Seungcheol’s dad, shouting at Park Jonghwan. Daegu FC made the FA Cup quarterfinals that year, and you think, of everything, that’s what you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
You think about falling in love slowly. Sixteen and clueless, the pair of you were. Didn’t really know any different, just that you’d look at him and feel butterflies. That you’d hold hands in secret. Text beneath the dinner table. That you’d watch him on the football pitch and be consumed by pride. That the future felt impossibly far away, that life would never catch up to the two of you.
You think about all the football jargon you didn’t understand—the academies, the teams, the implications. You think about, I’m thinking about trying out for the FC Seoul U-18, I just don’t think there’s much more I can do here in Daegu. You think about replying, Oh, I applied to university there.
You remember thinking it must’ve been fate, how easy that had worked out. How easy that first hurdle had been overcome.
You think about how fast everything happened. The try-out, the acceptance, the explosion. Remember being unable to go anywhere those first few months without seeing Seungcheol’s face, touted as the next big thing. Think about applying for scholarships when he was applying for international visas. Think about studying for midterms when Seungcheol was studying English for interviews.
You think about the last few weeks of your relationship, when it felt like you were desperately trying to cling to ghosts. Think about how Seoul had once felt endlessly big, both in opportunity and size, and how it now felt suffocating. You think about, So you’re just giving up? Is that what you’re saying? Think about, I don’t know what else to do. It doesn’t feel fair to you.
You think about all the places you’ve watched him. On countless football pitches; shy glances in school hallways; in the passenger seat, wracked with nerves on the drive to Seoul; poised above you in bed, hairline dotted with sweat as he rolled his hips, telling you how much he loved you.
You think about watching him walk out the door, and how you never watched him again.
So you fire off your email, concise and to the point about why you can’t tutor Choi Seungcheol in Introduction to Microeconomics, and turn to Lee Chan, Sophomore.
“No,” you finally answer. “Never heard of him.”
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For all intents and purposes, your rejection should’ve been the end of it.
A few days go by. You hold office hours, attend lectures, work on your thesis when you have both the time and the energy. Try to ignore the feeling of bees beneath your skin, anxiety needling each time you check your email. You were well within your right to decline the tutoring request, but you can’t help but feel like you’ve done something wrong. That someone somehow knows who Seungcheol was to you and will pull you up on it. That those girls who’d gushed about him to Chan are somewhere laughing at your expense.
But you don’t hear anything at all about it… until you do.
Sunday evening. You haven’t moved from your couch in hours, some variety show playing in the background, barely audible over your keyboard clacking. Much to your detriment, you don’t write many papers these days, so you’re out of practice. Feels like you haven’t done anything besides formulas in years, all of your academic knowledge reduced to fucking math, so you’re about ready to toss your laptop out the window long before the email even comes through.
You see, From: Lee Yeonseok. You see, Subject: Choi Seungcheol - Tutoring.
Your stomach plummets to the floor.
You scan the body quickly. You see the words personal favor… friend of his father… urgent matter… and your hands start shaking. Whether it’s from the sheer audacity of this man or anxiety, you aren’t sure, but it’s not like it matters. There aren’t a whole lot of people on campus brave or dumb enough to go up against him twice.
“Motherfucker,” you spit, bitter the only taste in your mouth.
Where did you go wrong to wind up here? You’d followed the script: got the grades, passed the exams, received half of the required education for the Respectable Career, helped a few others along the way chase dreams that may or may not have been their own. You’d fallen in love. Only had a broken heart to show for it, but that’d been in the script, too: The First Love, followed by The First Heartbreak.
The split from Seungcheol was supposed to have been the end of that chapter. You’d planned on never seeing him again, and you never would have, had it been up to you. Apparently the universe has other plans, participation required.
“Did you spill onion dip on the rug again?” You startle, sending your laptop flying. Kaori, your roommate, is perched halfway in between the living room and the kitchen like a cryptid, clearly not expecting your reaction. “Oh. Were you watching porn?”
Face burning, you fetch your laptop from the floor. “In a common area? Kaori, please, I have far more decorum than that.”
She snorts, resuming her trek to the fridge. “See, that’s what I thought, but then I walked out here and you threw your laptop so fast it was like watching my ex get caught watching furry porn all over again.” She pries the lid off a large container of yogurt. “You think this is still good?”
“Dunno. What’s it smell like?”
She sniffs it and pulls it back to check the label. “Vanilla, I think, which is concerning because it’s supposed to be strawberry.”
You shrug. “What’s the worst that can happen, you get extra”—you pause, trying to remember the correct order of things, before giving up entirely—“...biotics?”
“Mm, so close. Care if I just eat this with a spoon?”
Nose scrunched, you wave her off. “Couldn’t pay me to eat yogurt on a good day, let alone if it’s expired. All yours, babe.”
Spoon in hand and a pleased smile on her face, Kaori collapses onto the couch beside you. You try to return your attention to your paper, try to find your momentum again, and it works for all of ten minutes before you’re groaning and slamming the top closed.
You don’t even need to look over to know Kaori’s staring. “What’s up with you?” she asks. Before she can answer: “Wait, is this serious? Because I can’t have a serious conversation in this t-shirt.” You steal a glance sideways. Ask Me About My Hemorrhoid! it says, and you exhale loudly. “Don’t breathe at me, I lost a bet.”
“And continued wearing it?”
She jokingly rolls her eyes. “God forbid a girl has hobbies.” Nudges you with her foot. “C’mon, spill.”
Kaori doesn’t know about you and Seungcheol. Most people don’t, aside from a few old classmates from Daegu who found you on social media and tried befriending you once he started making a name for himself in Seoul. After that, it was just easier to keep things private while you were together. New friends knew you were seeing someone but not their name or how long you’d been together. Any curiosity surrounding why the Choi Seungcheol was following you on Insta had been waved away easily. Our parents are friends, we grew up together. Then you broke up, and there wasn’t any evidence to delete, and he wasn’t following you on Instagram anymore, and it was easier that way.
So, yeah—even though you hadn’t met her until years later, Kaori knows you have an ex. She knows you’ve had a few flings and situationships in the time since, too, and it’s why she’s none the wiser when you ask, “It’s nothing, really. Just—do you follow football at all?”
“Nah, not really. The new guy’s pretty into it and keeps trying to get me to watch the games with him, but it’s so fucking boring? I dunno, I can’t get into it. Not in real life, anyway—I binged all of Captain Tsubasa in an embarrassingly short amount of time, though. Why?”
“Student Services asked me to tutor someone the other day and I had to turn it down. I just don’t have the time, you know? This semester’s already killer, and Dr. Ahn’s been riding my ass nonstop about grades. Turns out it’s some football player, so Dr. Lee emailed me asking me to do it as a personal favor, which means, on top of all the other shit I have to do, I’m now tutoring some football player four hours a week in Microeconomics.”
Her face distorts. “God, that guy’s such a prick. Like wow, you’re good at the economy! Good for you! Who cares! Why don’t you go balance the national debt or something instead of torturing university freshmen!”
You also wrongly assume that’s the last you’ll hear of it from Kaori.
Two days later, after Student Services replies to your email with the days and times you’ll be tutoring Seungcheol, she materializes in the living room to harass you.
“You didn’t tell me your football player was Choi Seungcheol.”
The panic is instant. You know how she means it, but it’s not how your body interprets it. All of a sudden it feels like an interrogation, an accusation, and a whopping serving of guilt takes up residence in the middle of your chest for not being entirely honest.
“Explains this weird text Ken sent me.”
She slides her phone over to you, open to her text thread with her current flavor of the week. Beneath an article about Seungcheol enrolling in classes at your school:
doesn’t ur roomie TA there Why are you calling her “ur roomie” like you don’t know her name?? Rude. Also yes. ask her to get me an autograph No babe pls he was my fav player before he got injured No 🙄 fine. can i come over later? Starting to think you’re using me for my roommate. Get your own job 🙄
You hand her phone back. “I didn’t think you’d know who Choi Seungcheol even is.” It’s the best you can do, even though it just digs you a deeper grave. “You said you’re not into football.”
“I’m not, but unfortunately I am into that stupid man.” She sighs, wistful and longing. “Babe, you have to understand. His dick is so big.”
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You hadn’t wanted to stay in Seoul for your graduate degree, let alone the same university you’d gone to for undergrad.
You’d applied to schools all over—Japan, Europe, even a few in the States. Romanticized the hell out of NYU, went window shopping for an overpriced apartment, picked a favorite pizzeria based on nothing but vibes and online reviews. In those few months after graduation, there wasn’t a whole lot tying you to Seoul. Your and Seungcheol’s relationship had been old history by then, your parents split. Your dad stayed in your childhood home and your mother moved a few hours closer to her sister. They’d waited until your brother was old enough to be out of the house.
And it’d just been… a lot. Overwhelming. Some days you could barely shower or feed yourself, let alone move halfway across the world, so you’d stayed in the familiar and tried not to let it feel like failure.
But the good thing about familiarity is you learn its tricks, figure out the hiding spots. Early on, your first or second week of grad school, you laid claim to a study room on a floor of the library everyone else ignored. You write notes on the whiteboard with faded blue markers that are still there days later. The chair on the opposite side of the table is always exactly where you left it, the space between it and the table enough to only accommodate you. Sometimes you leave books—old paperbacks littered with notes in your writing—or papers, just to see if they move.
They never do.
And all of this is why it feels like a punch to the gut when that sanctity is tainted. When you’re halfway through a stack of Dr. Ahn’s exams and the doorknob rattles behind you. When you don’t even need to turn around to know who it is, because he still sounds the same, still has that overwhelming presence. You’ve always sensed him before you felt him.
“There you are,” Dr. Lee says, ambling into the room before you can protest. He, too, is overwhelming, just in different ways. Immaculate posture that anchors his slight frame that’s always dressed impeccably and expensively. Wears a watch that’s triple your tuition. Shoes polished so bright they’re nearly blinding. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
This time it is an accusation.
Well, you found me, you want to say, but just knowing Seungcheol is behind him, lingering in that half-study room, half-hallway space, is enough to keep you quiet. Like if you speak you’ll summon him closer and you’ll no longer be able to pretend this is nothing more than a nightmare.
You plaster on a polite smile. Say, “Ah, here I am, kyosu-nim,” and put all your energy into trying to glue Seungcheol to the floor with your mind.
Which is fruitless, because Dr. Lee moves further into the room. Gestures for Seungcheol to follow him with an impatient huff, and the study room is small, sure, and with three people it feels cramped, but that’s not the reason it feels like all the air’s been sucked out of the room.
Seungcheol looks… different. He looks as anxious as you feel, and he sticks close to the wall like he’s trying to disappear. Dr. Lee introduces him with grave importance, unaware of your history, and the forced smile he offers you almost looks embarrassed.
You know Dr. Lee is still hammering away, probably giving you a stern talking-to for rejecting his request the first time, but you can’t tear your eyes away from Seungcheol. Feels like the world around you has reduced to a pinhead, all hyperfocus; feels like your lungs are sucking in stale air one at a time.
“...his father is a very good friend of mine, so I expect…”
You expected to feel nothing. Seungcheol had left to chase his dream—one you’d always been so supportive of that it sometimes felt like your dream, too—and, perhaps naively, you thought the distance and the years would’ve been enough. You expected your heart to have hardened. You expected all those nights you spent crying to hit you at full force. You expected anger, hurt—indifference, at the very least.
“...as many hours per week as you both can manage…”
But you should’ve known better. Should’ve expected the butterflies, the way your palms grow clammy, the way your heart rate spikes. Should’ve expected everything to feel upside-down. You should’ve expected to look at Seungcheol and feel sixteen and in love all over again.
“...you are responsible for his academic progress…”
And that simply will not do. You’ve spent the last few years pulling yourself out of that hole, clawing your way back to something resembling normal. You’ve purged the thought of him from your mind—let his scent fade from your sheets, an old sweatshirt he’d left behind; forgot the way his lips felt against every inch of your skin; forgot the way his entire being lit up when he laughed; forgot the safety he encompassed, the way he whispered all those sweet nothings.
You cannot go there again.
So you roll your shoulders back, smile politely. Say, “Ah, kyosu-nim, Choi Seungcheol-ssi seems very intelligent, I’m sure he is capable of being responsible for his own academic standing, don’t you think?”
Dr. Lee cannot disagree without all but calling Seungcheol an idiot, so he hovers before you in shocked silence. Makes a show of huffing and checking his watch, like he’s all of a sudden remembered he’s late for something and being inconvenienced by this conversation he started, and then he’s halfway out of the library with a terse, “Discuss and figure this out amongst yourselves,” thrown over his shoulder.
You have an entire dramatic exit planned in your head. Gather your things, fake a phone call that makes you sound authoritative and important, and brush past Seungcheol wearing your nicest perfume as if all of this is so far beneath you you can’t even bring yourself to care about it.
Of course, you actually have to brush by him for any of that to happen, and since you’ve already decided you will not go there again, you quickly scribble your email address onto a piece of paper and slide it across the table at Seungcheol, who has steadfastly remained planted just outside the door. “Here’s my email. I don’t have time to discuss this right now.” Seungcheol cocks an eyebrow. You start throwing things into your bag haphazardly. You know you look frantic and affected, but there’s not much you can do about that. “What? Send me a copy of your syllabus and what you want to prioritize. It’ll be easier to get through this if we have a plan instead of winging it.”
He seems to catch on to your distaste because he mirrors it. Scoffs as he rolls his eyes and says, “Yeah, no use spending more time together than we have to,” and if you hadn’t gone years without speaking, you would’ve seen right through it.
But you did, so it stings all the same.
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As it typically does, the planet keeps spinning after your run-in with Seungcheol.
You grade Dr. Ahn’s coursework. Try running off your anxiety at the gym, even though it’s pretty good at keeping pace with you these days. You meet Kaori’s maybe-boyfriend sneaking out of your apartment early in the morning and he has the good sense not to mention your ex, but you chalk that up to the mess of hickeys covering his neck and not any sense of social decorum.
Other people’s embarrassment saves you a ton of your own, you’ve come to learn.
Throughout all of this, Seungcheol only emails you once to send you his course syllabus. Doesn’t mention tutoring or provide you with his schedule or ask for yours, so when you’re sitting in a bar with your friends, three or four drinks deep and feeling a little petty, you forward him the original tutoring request and make sure to bold, underline, and highlight the “Recommended Tutoring: High” part for good measure.
He doesn’t take your bait—electronically, at least—but he does show up to your office hours the following Tuesday.
Bag tossed onto the floor, he flops unceremoniously into the chair across from you and says, in lieu of a greeting, “They spelled your name wrong. On the door thing.”
“I know,” you reply, your smile polite and terse. Incredible how he has the ability to raise your blood pressure in milliseconds. “What can I help you with?”
“Depends. How long do you have?”
“Well, considering you’ve shown up to my office hours on time, I’m assuming you already know I’m here every Tuesday and Thursday from four to six. So”—you glance at the clock above the door—“assuming no one comes by who needs my help more than you do, you have approximately one hour and fifty-eight minutes.”
Seungcheol is quiet for a moment as he takes you in. His stare is weighted; it makes you feel a little green around the edges. Clinical and sharp, so far removed from the way he used to look at you. You clear your throat. “I looked over your syllabus. The good news is there’s only a midterm and a final and the rest is problem sets. The bad news is there’s only a midterm and a final so they’re weighted quite heavily. You really need to know this stuff inside-out to have any hope of passing.”
“That’s why you’re here, right? Dr. Lee specifically requested you.”
You huff a breath through your nose. “I’m here as supplemental help. I can’t take your exams or do your readings for you. What else are you taking this semester?”
He sighs, sinking further into the chair, very much playing the part of the heir who has no interest in any of this. Which… is unlike him, you think, if you’re even allowed to. The Seungcheol you knew years ago took everything so seriously. Never clipped corners or took shortcuts. Anyone else would think him a spoiled, petulant child. “Business Accounting and International Trade.”
“Could be worse,” you note. “At least those three courses are tangentially related.”
Seungcheol rolls his eyes. “Easy for you to say. I haven’t taken a fucking math class in years.”
You return it. “You remember how to add and subtract, don’t you?”
“I ruptured my ACL, not my…” He trails off, looking a little embarrassed that he can’t name a part of the—“Brain.”
Whatever you were going to quip back with dies on your tongue. It's the first time Seungcheol has broached the topic of his injury—the first you’re hearing of it at all, actually—and he says it like it’s a joke, like it’s not a thing at all, but the pain is all over his face. The bitterness of the situation he’s found himself in. The unfairness of it all.
And there are so many questions you want to ask that aren’t your place: if it’s fixable, if he’ll ever play again, how he’s coping. But you don’t really need to—you can’t imagine how you’d feel if someone suddenly pulled the rug out from under you. If everything contained within the four walls of your office suddenly disappeared.
Not that the man sitting across from you hadn’t already done that, but.
“Right,” you continue, as if he hadn’t said anything at all. You know Seungcheol—know he wouldn’t want you prodding, sticking your fingers in that particular wound. “I want you to take a look at this,” you say, handing over a printout you have saved from your undergrad tutoring days. “Tell me what looks familiar, what doesn’t; what does and doesn’t make sense.”
He looks down at the paper. Back up at you. Down at the paper again. “What the fuck is this?”
“I—what? Cheol, it’s my old notes on recitation. Surely you’ve already covered this—the syllabus says this is week one stuff.” He looks down at the paper again, and it’s so familiar, watching the life drain entirely from someone’s eyes.
You barely resist the urge to slam your face onto your desk a second time.
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You meet Seungcheol at the sports center for your next tutoring session.
He likes the humidity and the smell of the chlorine by the pool. He also likes that it’s not the football pitch, so the two of you sit in the bleachers there and go over his lecture notes. Much to your surprise, Seungcheol talks a mile a minute. Has stars in his eyes when he says he finally understands elastic demand curves, supply shock; tells you he spent a whole hour making flashcards.
It’s the first time you’ve seen him so excited since your tutoring began—the first glimmer of hope you’ve felt since Dr. Lee cornered you in your library hideaway. None of this surprises you. Seungcheol has always been smart, even when football was his primary (and sometimes only) focus. He has more determination and grit than anyone you’ve ever met, so you’re not surprised he’s doing well, excelling, but you are surprised—
“Can I ask you something?” Seungcheol shrugs, shoves half a protein bar in his mouth and swallows without chewing. “Why are you… uh. Here?”
“At this university?”
“Not exactly. I mean, I am wondering about that, but I guess… why business?”
Seungcheol hums. Tucks his good knee to his chest and stares down at the pool. No one’s using it, and truthfully the two of you probably aren’t even allowed to be here, but you understand why he likes it. It’s nowhere near as secluded as the library and definitely not as air conditioned, but it is peaceful. Calm. The water laps against the coping in quiet, small waves.
“Ah, I don’t know. You know how it goes.”
You quirk an eyebrow. Never, in all the years you’ve known him, has Seungcheol done anything he didn’t want to do. All that grit and determination. “What about your father, then? Dr. Lee mentioned this was a favor to him. He’s a pretty important person to have in your Rolodex of favors.”
Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see what this is: Seungcheol’s father has new money; worked from the bottom up, made some smart investment decisions that finally panned out after Seungcheol left for Seoul. Started doing his own thing, made a name for himself. Last you’d heard from your mother, Seungcheol’s brother was second-in-command. Hell, even your own brother did an internship there.
So you know what this is: a father helping his son after his dream was shattered, life turned upside-down. You can’t blame him, even if you’ve heard the whispers from all the way across campus. That Seungcheol is washed up now, trying to nepo his way into his father’s company because of it; that all he knows is sports and he should’ve stuck to that, what does he know about business, why is he the one Dr. Lee went out of his way to help.
Doesn’t stop any of them from smiling at him, though; doesn’t stop them from asking for autographs or selfies.
But you also know this isn’t something Seungcheol seems willing to discuss, so you crack a joke—“I mean, business. God, who’d wanna go into that?”—and go back to what he was willing to talk about.
You’ve never hated elastic demand curves so much in your life.
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Deep in the throes of tutoring—when you can’t tell if it’s week two or week twelve—you make it back to your apartment just before ten, head pounding.
The door flies open just as you’re about to punch in the code, and there stands Ken, looking far more put-off than you’ve ever seen him. Looks defeated, if you’re being honest, like someone mopped up all his emotions and wrung them out like dirty dishwater.
“Oh, hi,” you say hesitantly. The man in front of you seems too much like a caged animal to let your guard down. “Everything okay?”
He aborts a nod halfway. Mutters an apology as he brushes by you and stalks down the hall, disappearing around the corner to the elevators. Usually he’s a talker—you haven’t been able to avoid a Seungcheol-related conversation in weeks—so you’re a little stunned. Stand there stupidly for a while, and that’s where Kaori finds you a moment later.
“You gonna stand out here all night, or…?”
“Oh—yeah, right.”
You follow her inside. Toe off your shoes and put them in the rack. Focus on the sound of the kettle whistling instead of the overbearing tension in the room. Drop your bag off in your room, throw on a sweatshirt three sizes too big and a comfy pair of socks. Rummage through the fridge for leftovers, contemplate what mindless show you’ll watch as you eat, and you do not, under any circumstances, ask Kaori what happened.
You don’t have to. You knew what this was going to be the first time Ken spent the night—the way he looked mortified to be meeting you in the shared kitchen at seven a.m., wearing a look that begged you not to tell your roommate he was sneaking out.
I, uh, have an early class, he’d said. You know how it is.
Maybe you should’ve called him on it then. Issued a warning-but-not-really. She’ll get attached if you don’t tell her. She should know it’s different for you, if it is.
But you’d convinced yourself it wasn’t your place. Kaori wouldn’t want you in her business like that, so you stayed quiet, just nodded before watching him slip his shoes on and close the door behind him so quietly you wouldn’t have known he left at all if you hadn’t been looking. Gone, just like a ghost.
So, yeah, you know exactly why your roommate looks haunted.
“I’m a few episodes behind on this if you want to watch with me,” you offer, pointing at the television with the remote. It’s a lie—you’ve never watched this show a day in your life, which Kaori seems to know—but she contemplates it nonetheless. “Also, my mom mailed us some cookies. I think they’re in the fridge.”
“Why are there cookies in the fridge?”
You huff a laugh. “They were outside the door this morning before I left for campus. I don’t know—just saw who the package was from and was like, oh, this must go in the fridge.”
She nods. Grabs the container and joins you on the couch. Sticks her feet beneath your butt and doesn’t mention a thing.
The closest she comes is a few days later. Catches you right before you head out to campus and asks how tutoring is going.
“Not bad, actually.”
Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes when she says, “That’s good. I’m glad things are going well for you two.”
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Lee Chan, Sophomore makes his unexpected return at your office hours on an unsuspecting Tuesday.
“Can I help you?”
He doesn’t answer right away, just helps himself to the seat across from you. “Maybe,” comes his cryptic retort. “I was thinking about signing up for that crypto course next semester.”
You narrow your eyes. “No, you weren’t.”
He sighs. Looks a little panicked, like he can’t believe that didn’t work. “You’re right, you’re right. I, um—I wanted to come say thank you.” He pauses. “You know, for that… email you sent.”
You blink. “No, you didn’t.”
Lee Chan, Sophomore cracks immediately. Thunks his head on your desk and lets loose a pained sound. It nearly sounds like he’s wailing when he says, “I’m sorry! They put me up to it!”
What you’re able to piece together is this: Lee Chan, Sophomore has become a bit of a celebrity in the Student Services department ever since he met you, Choi Seungcheol’s tutor. And, like any smart, previously unpopular university student would do, he took advantage of it. Might’ve stretched the truth a little to make it sound like he knew more than he did, so now here he is, angling for information the girls with the photocards may or may not have paid him to get.
“They want to know about his girlfriend.”
“His what?”
What you’re able to piece together is also this: the Photocard Girls are certain Seungcheol is dating someone, based on little more than vibes. You suspect these vibes are their three degrees of separation, considering there was an abnormal amount of Change of Major files formed after his enrollment, but you tell Lee Chan that you don’t know anything and, even if you did, you wouldn’t put his business out there like that.
But some part of you still has this inexplicable urge to protect Seungcheol, so you match their offer with interest and tell him to say there’s nothing to report—not that you didn’t know, not that he couldn’t get anything out of you. Seungcheol isn’t dating anyone.
You don’t know if it’s true, but you figure that if it isn’t, he still deserves privacy.
Which is a notion you have trouble explaining a few hours later, when Seungcheol strolls into your office with a grease-stained paper bag full of cheese coin bread, offering one to you with a proud smile that drops slowly when you just stare in return.
“What’s wrong?”
Your mouth opens, closes, opens again. Nothing comes out, even though it should be simple. Some sophomore kid was just in here angling for information or the Student Services department is taking bets on whether or not you have a girlfriend would both suffice, but you cannot bring yourself to say the words.
What you settle on is, “Sorry, I just… had an interesting meeting before you got here.”
“Oh. Are you okay?”
You sigh. Tilt your head back to stare up at the ceiling. “It was about you, actually.”
Seungcheol chokes, starts stuttering over words you can’t make sense of. Says, “Me? Why? I passed my last exam—I mean, barely, but I still passed. And that wasn’t your fault! I didn’t study enough! I’ve been losing my mind over my International Trade class, that shit sucks—”
“It wasn’t about your grades, Cheol.”
“Oh.” Then, slowly, a lopsided, pleased smile overtakes his face. “Haven’t heard you call me Cheol in a while.”
“Seungcheol,” you correct.
He seems to forget all about the meeting. Tries again to offer you a coin bread before he threatens to eat them all himself, so you acquiesce mostly to shut him up, say you’ll bring the extras to Kaori. For some reason, you tell him about how much she’d loved the cookies your mom sent, and the nostalgia sets him off, gets him talking again, asking if they were the yakgwa she used to make when you two were kids.
They were, but you can’t seem to tell him that, either.
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Seungcheol: sorry it’s last minute - running late. can you meet me at my place instead?
Seungcheol shared a location with you
You’re halfway to replying—I don’t think that’s appropriate—before you sigh and delete it. Midterms are only a few days away and you don’t have time to argue over where your tutoring sessions will be, so if Seungcheol wants to meet at his apartment that’s where you’ll meet him.
You read over the midterm notes on the train. Once, twice, and then a hundred more times until they’re nearly memorized, all so you can ignore the voice in the back of your head saying what a bad idea this is. That you have no business being on your way to your ex’s swanky part of town or integrating yourself into his life beyond tutoring at all. You shouldn’t know where he lives. Maybe you shouldn’t even have his phone number or answer his texts.
Not that there’s much you can do about it now, two stops away.
Seungcheol greets you warmly, if not a little rushed. Apologizes for the mess once you step inside, although it’s less “mess” and more “haven’t finished unpacking,” but there’s enough clear space to study at the dining table, so that’s where you set up, determined to keep things professional.
“Sorry again about this,” Seungcheol says, placing a can of cola in front of you as he takes the seat across. “I had to meet with my father and lost track of time, I guess.”
“Oh. How’s he doing?”
Seungcheol sighs, leans further back in the chair as runs a hand through his hair. A light brown, now. “Same as he always was, I guess. Talked about the business, about my brother. Can’t get him to shut up about that stuff most of the time.”
“The business is doing good, though.” You cough, clear your throat. “My, uh. My brother interned there during undergrad. I don’t know if your father told you that.”
You don’t know why you say it, because it’s clear from the brief flicker of pain on Seungcheol’s face that he hadn’t known, that no one had told him. And it hurts you too that they felt the need to keep it a secret, to protect Seungcheol from you even in tangential ways.
“He didn’t,” he admits, “but I’m sure he was happy to see him. He was, uh—he was glad to hear you’re my tutor. Said you were always smarter than all of us boys combined.”
You laugh. Hope it sounds casual instead of strained. “Well, no need to prove him right. Come on,” you say, tossing a study guide in his direction, “let’s get to work.”
Everything is alright for a while—nearly an hour at least. He has the formulas memorized and attributed to the correct equations. He can explain supply and demand, preference and utility, but things start to fall apart around budget constraints and constrained choice.
The formulas get mixed up. He grows frustrated when he doesn’t know the answers to your questions right away. Rolls his eyes and gets a little snappy when you correct him, try to explain things differently in a way he understands. At first he’s able to temper it, collect himself before things truly start spiraling out of control, but the longer the two of you sit there the more it all unravels.
He snaps, you snap back, and you can’t figure out why. You’ve survived this long in Seungcheol’s orbit even though you never thought you’d be around him again, and perhaps it was bound to explode eventually, but…
It’s the familiarity, you realize.
You and Seungcheol aren’t friends, though you’ve been playing at it for weeks now: meeting outside of the library or your office, the personal conversations bordering on reminiscing, being in his personal space. You don’t belong here. You don’t want to be his friend—you can’t be, not for real or pretend.
“That’s not what I’m say—”
“Then explain it better,” Seungcheol fires at you, eyebrows creasing. “You’re the tutor here.”
You roll your eyes. “I’m trying, okay? All I meant was—your answer isn’t wrong, but I know Dr. Lee and he’s going to want more than that in a response.”
“Right—not good enough, like I said.”
“I’m just asking you to expand on your answer—”
“And I’m telling you that’s all I’ve got. I’m not like you, all right? I don’t have all this shit just floating around in my head all the time. I’m not smart, I barely have any idea what’s going on half the time, and you sitting here being condescending about it is doing fuck-all to help.”
You inhale sharply, taken aback at the hostility in his voice. Suggest calling it for the night, say neither of you will be productive if you keep going like this, and neither of you bother to apologize.
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So much of your relationship with Seungcheol was marred by clichés.
The two of you passing notes back and forth during class. You in the bleachers of all his games, screaming along to the team chants, waving a sign around with his name on it. Not realizing you had a crush on him at all until he liked someone else and it made your stomach hurt. Childhood friends turned lovers.
Another cliché: that it’s starting to feel like that all over again.
Seungcheol sits across from you in the library, econ textbook cracked in half in front of him as he pays no attention. Keeps grabbing his phone each time it vibrates across the table. Can’t fight the smile that forces its way onto his face when he reads whatever’s there.
Stupid, you think—both to do this and to think it’d play out any other way. Seungcheol left years ago. Probably lived ten lifetimes while he was away while you were here in this exact spot doing this exact thing. Barely lived half a life, just stuck your nose in textbooks and forced your way through.
“Cheol,” you say, trying to drag his attention back to the study guide. No use. He’s typing away, presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek as he responds. “Seungcheol,” you try again.
Also fruitless.
You have no claim here, you remind yourself—not to his time, not to him. He’s only here because someone else mandated it. You’re only here because someone else mandated it, but it stings all the same. Another reminder of what used to be, of what ended regardless of what you wanted. Another reminder that the role you used to play in his life is not the role you play now. That the space you used to take up created a vacancy, and eventually it was going to be filled.
And if this was anyone other than Seungcheol, if you were more emotionally evolved when it came to him, it wouldn’t gnaw at you as much. All of this would roll off your shoulders.
But it isn’t, and you’re not.
“If you’re not going to listen, then—”
“I am listening,” he interjects, but he’s not looking at you. Not looking at his textbook or his study guide. Keeps laughing and smiling at his phone, and it’s sick how bothered you are by it. That it feels like your stomach’s been turned inside-out with jealousy; with annoyance, because you don’t want to be here anyway, don’t want to do this anymore, and you’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate it.
Perhaps he never did.
“What are we discussing, then?”
Still not looking up: “Consumer theory.”
You laugh—more a huff of air than anything, grin sardonically out of one corner of your mouth. Seungcheol sees none of it. “Wrong,” you answer, already expecting the way he shrugs it off. “I’m gonna skip ahead a few chapters, though. Consider it a freebie for your business class.”
It must be your tone that finally grabs his attention. Cutting, precise, purposeful. Seungcheol lowers his phone, quirks an eyebrow, wonders where this is going to go. It’s clear he’s pissed you off, that you’re itching for a fight. It’s clear the years of silence are finally coming to a head.
“Let’s talk about ROI. You know what that is?” You barely give him a second. “Return on investment. A performance measure used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment or compare the efficiency of several investments. So, let’s say I make one-hundred-thousand won on a ten-thousand won investment: my ROI is 90%. Are you following?”
He nods.
“Great, now let’s try something a bit more hypothetical.” You suck in a breath. “Let’s say I invest years of my adolescence into someone. A friend at first and then something more. Let’s say I played cheerleader, supported every hope and dream he had—went to every game, cheered him on, helped him practice his English. Held his hand and talked him down when the pressure felt overwhelming, when the only thing that felt inevitable was failure. Now, let’s say all I got in return was a stuttered, awkward apology as he dumped me and walked out the door. Let’s say that guy showed up again after years of silence just to once again waste my fucking time.”
The thing about pain is it’s not linear. What hurt five, ten years ago might not hurt today, but it might tomorrow; what hurt yesterday may never hurt again. The thing about pain is it lets you stick your head in the sand until it can’t anymore, and that’s where you are now: that window of time between Seungcheol walking out the door on the assumption you’d never see him again before he bulldozed his way back into your life has been slammed closed, locked up tight.
So you don’t even notice you’re crying until the room goes deathly silent and you can hear the drip drip drip of tears on paper. Until you watch Seungcheol’s hands flex and unflex in mid-air, stuck in that liminal space, wanting to reach out but knowing he has no right to. Until your chest aches so bad you’re sure you’re either about to break into stardust or cease to exist.
Until you say, “What, Choi Seungcheol, would you say my fucking return on investment was?” and he has nothing to say at all.
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Kaori invites you to a party.
Just something small to celebrate the end of midterms and a classmate’s birthday. Nothing out of control or raucous, not even the kind of thing that’d earn a second glance from campus security. I won’t even make fun of you if you leave before eleven, is how she sold it to you, in addition to a small amount of begging and bargaining and a powerful set of puppy-dog eyes.
After everything the two of you have been through, you find it hard to say no.
So here you are, nearly eleven o’clock on a Friday, a cup of cheap beer in hand. A friend of a friend of a friend is wailing into a karaoke machine and although your ears are bleeding, it does feel nice for that to be your greatest worry. You aren’t thinking about your classes or how you’ve been prioritizing everyone else’s academic success. You aren’t thinking about whatever’s going on between Kaori and Ken. You aren’t thinking about Seungcheol.
At least you aren’t, until he walks through the door.
You’re going to continue not thinking about him at all—not about the fact he’s alone or how good he looks in a simple black T-shirt that’s a little taut in the shoulders. You’re not going to think about the way the air shifts, like the universe knows he’s important and is willing to accommodate. You’re not going to think about how Kaori catches your eye across the room, recognizes him from all her internet searches, and the way she mouths oh my god he’s so beefy at you.
You’re not going to think about how guilty you feel that she doesn’t know, because if you do you’re certain it’ll take over.
You watch Seungcheol work the room; watch as he floats between conversations, as strangers fall over themselves at the sight of him. How eager everyone is to give him something and how reluctant he is to take them. You watch as he winds up in the same circle as Kaori and how she must mention you, oh, your tutor is my roommate, because there’s a question in return before he turns and meets your gaze.
You wonder why the distance between you feels more insurmountable now than ever before.
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Seungcheol finds you in your office.
It’s not a Tuesday or a Thursday, far later than four to six in the evening, but he doesn’t even bother knocking before he’s barreling in, stifling your space with his bad energy.
You haven’t seen him in nearly two weeks. Not since the party, if that even counts. Hasn’t bothered to reply to any of your texts or emails, and that was just fine by you, if that’s how he wanted to act, but it isn’t until he’s brooding on the other side of your desk that you realize you’re still aggrieved, too. Feels a little too familiar, him leaving you behind and in the dark.
So you don’t mean to—typically have much more professionalism than this—but when he tosses a stapled stack of papers with a barely-passing grade on your desk and says, “This is your fault,” the words come automatically and without forethought.
“Fuck off, Seungcheol.” It’s not your words that take him by surprise; more so the roll of your eyes, the accompanying huff. The impression that all of this is beneath you and nothing more than a mere annoyance. That however affected you were two weeks ago is not how affected you are anymore. “That’s what happens when you blow off your tutoring for two weeks because you’re a coward.”
He laughs, incredulous; unable to help the sound the tumbles out of his mouth. “I’m a—I’m a coward?”
“Yes,” you reply, tone giving away nothing. All he sees is feigned nonchalance despite the hurricane you feel brewing beneath the surface. “This,” you continue, pinching the corner of the paper between your fingertips and disposing of it in the trashcan beneath your desk, “is all on you, but do please let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to blame me for. I’m all ears.”
You don’t miss it: the way Seungcheol’s eyes grow wide at your ‘I’m all.’ The way he thinks you’re going to punctuate that sentence with yours, and it nearly has bile rising in your throat. Makes you want to scream, rip at your hair. If the last few months have taught you anything, it’s that you are still hopelessly in love with the man across from you—the man that continues to leave before he’s left, always at your expense.
So, yeah—Seungcheol is a coward, but only when it comes to you.
But he doesn’t look much like one now, gripping so hard at the edge of your desk that his knuckles have gone white, baseball cap pulled down low enough his eyes are barely visible. He’s always been overwhelming, always carried himself with an exaggerated arrogance even when it wasn’t warranted, always took everything so seriously, and maybe that’s why you’d thought he’d treat you the same way. Take you seriously. Wouldn’t just throw it all away on a maybe thing, and that’s why it's been years and you still aren’t over it.
Maybe Seungcheol is a coward, and maybe so are you.
Because not once since he’s been back have you been able to say what you mean. Can’t seem to tell him about the anger, the hurt, the heartbreak. Played it all off as petty nonchalance because you foolishly thought that would hurt him, that you’ve been reduced to simmering ash, no hope left for a fire.
“I could never blame you for a goddamn thing,” he says, voice so deep you could drown in it.
You so desperately want to know. You don’t want to know anything at all. You want Seungcheol to explain everything to you in detail and spoil the ending, but only if it’s guaranteed to be happy. Enduring another loss like the first time—you’re not sure you can take it. Not after you two have crossed paths like this, because you’ve never quite believed in fate but you think that has to mean something. That so much time and life had transpired and you two came back together.
Today, though, it doesn’t look like you’re going to get any answers.
Seungcheol straightens, looms at full height. Digs into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulls out a thumb drive. Wordlessly, he hands it over, and then he’s gone just as abruptly as he’d arrived.
Again.
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Kaori wants to spend the weekend moping, and you can’t come up with a good reason not to join her.
She doesn’t mention Ken once. Not when she’s sobbing over A Silent Voice and Toradora! after that. Not when she keeps glancing at her phone every couple minutes to see if she has any texts. Not when you—only halfway paying attention between grading and your own assignments—suggest ordering something for delivery, maybe that new burger place down the street you heard was good, and Kaori shuts it down so vehemently you can only assume it was Ken’s favorite place.
Kaori just cries over the man with the big dick she never expected to take so seriously, and not even your stonewalling makes her feel ashamed of it.
And there’s respectability in that kind of openness and vulnerability. At least whatever she’s feeling is honest; at least she can admit she’s sad. You think watching Kaori process her breakup might help you process yours too, years too late, so you suck in a breath and ask, “Can I tell you something or is now not a good time?”
Kaori looks over at you. Dabs a soggy tissue at her eyes. “Well, I guess it depends,” is her answer, and she doesn’t shy away from how waterlogged her voice sounds. “If you’re going to tell me you’re a Takasu and Kawashima shipper, maybe, but if it’s anything worse I’m not sure I could take it.”
“I—what? Who even are they?” She gives you a half-hearted thumbs up. You sigh in response, sink further into the couch. “It’s, uh.” Clear your throat. “Do you remember when we met sophomore year? At that party? And I told you I wasn’t looking for anything and you said, and I quote, why not, I have a sixth sense for this kind of thing and I know that guy will have a huge—”
She hides her face behind her hands. “Ew, god, yes I remember that. My dick whisperer era. How embarrassing.”
“Right. And I told you I wasn’t looking for anything because I’d just gotten out of something.”
“Not really by choice, if I remember correctly. I told you if it was quiet it should’ve been loud, and then you never talked about it again.”
You nod. “I—yeah, that sounds like something I would’ve said.” You suck in a deep breath. “Listen, this is probably gonna sound bad considering I did never talk about it again, but—”
“Hey,” Kaori says, nudging you with her foot. Meant to be comforting, somehow. “It’s okay. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, too… most of which I’m not sure you should, actually.”
A laugh forces its way out, gives you a nice reprieve from the anxiety of the conversation you’re about to have. The need to explain it all, the need for advice. Maybe it’s not her—or anyone else’s—business, but you think you’ve kept this to yourself long enough. You and Seungcheol loved each other, once, and it seems foolish that no one knows.
Maybe Kaori had been right. Maybe love should be shouted from the rooftops; exist out in the open. Maybe something hidden in the shadows can never thrive in the light, and you knew it back then, deep down, but now it seems so obvious.
You think back to a few days before the library. Think about how things didn’t feel good but they felt okay. Think about the frustrated crease between Seungcheol’s eyebrows as he stared down at his textbook and how all you’d wanted to do was smooth it. Think about how you’d rolled your lips and tried not to laugh; how you thought it’d take a miracle to help Seungcheol pass this class.
Think about: What is the difference between the short-run and the long-run from the perspective of production theory?
Think about the short-run of your and Seungcheol’s relationship—that you’d burned bright and fast, even though it’d felt like a million years. Hadn’t dared to consider the long-run because anything beyond that bubble felt impossible.
Think about: Which of the following is not a property of isoquants?
Think about the way Seungcheol’s eyes lit up when he knew the answer. That they’re always linear, he said, and you smiled at his enthusiasm, raised your hand to high-five him and dropped it when he hadn’t noticed.
You think about the explanation—isoquants can be linear when inputs are perfectly substitutable—and what those graphs look like. Downward sloping, left to right. Think about how the graphs change when the isoquants are perfect complements.
L-shaped. Less straight as the inputs become poorer substitutes.
You know what your and Seungcheol’s graph would’ve looked like back then.
So it’s easy, almost, to tell Kaori everything. You tell her about growing up in Daegu, about the smell of the azaleas at Biseulsan in the spring. You tell her about how your parents had befriended the neighbors, how they had a kid your age, that that kid was Seungcheol—yes, that Seungcheol.
She’s able to anticipate the rest from there, but you fill in the blanks of what she can’t: being sixteen and falling in love, holding hands, the clandestine notes. All those football matches and how your throat would be hoarse from cheering. How nauseous you’d felt applying to university in Seoul, how excited you were when Seungcheol said he was coming with you. That, after you arrived, it felt like you were living in fast-forward. Barely any time to breathe or adjust; no time to just be you and Seungcheol. You had to be a student, someone responsible; Seungcheol had to be a phenom.
“Could you feel it was going to happen?” Kaori asks, now sat ramrod straight, all her attention on you. “Like, did you know?”
“I don’t know,” you admit. “Maybe I did? It’s hard to say now, all this time later. I know things definitely felt different, like life was pulling us in opposite directions.” You laugh, bitterness coloring the edges. “You couldn’t go two blocks without seeing him on some billboard, and I was just… normal, you know? I wasn’t some rising star athlete like he was, I just went to my classes. How was I supposed to compete with something like that?”
Your roommate hums, leans back into the pillows as she stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t think you were. Maybe that’s why Seungcheol was worried—maybe he felt like you were losing your own identity feeling like you had to keep up.”
You want to push back, argue that you weren’t, that you didn’t, but the truth is that it’s possible. That the shadows created by Seungcheol’s dreams were so massive you wouldn’t be surprised if they unintentionally swallowed you up. “It still wasn’t his choice to make,” you say, voice barely above a whisper.
And Kaori already knows all about your hurt, listened as you explained it all and laid everything bare. So when she says, “Sometimes that’s just how it goes, though, babe,” it doesn’t feel condescending. “We do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time. You can say now it wasn’t Seungcheol’s choice to make, because it’s been almost five years and you’ve made a life for yourself separate from him. But the—god, this is gonna sound so patronizing, I am so sorry—but you guys were so young. No one has it all figured out at that age.”
She snorts, runs a hand through her messy hair. “Shit, I’m nearly halfway to thirty and I still don’t know anything.” Adopts a frown. “What do you want now? Do you want closure? Want to try to fix things and become friends?”
“I don’t know,” you admit, biting at a hangnail. “He actually, um. The other day when he stopped by my office, he left me a USB drive? And before you ask, no I did not already look at it.”
“A USB drive? Who does this guy think he is, James Bond?” A pause. “Are you gonna look at it, though?”
You do.
Not until the silver, midnight light creeps in through your bedroom curtains and you’ve stared at the ceiling long enough; waited long enough for texts that never came, for divine intervention to, well, intervene. It never did—fair enough—so you decide to take fate by the reins. Grab your laptop, instant headache from the screen, stick the drive into the port.
It takes a second for it to load, but when it does: dozens of videos, organized by date. Vlogs, by the look of them—some from before your breakup but the majority of them from after.
You’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this.
You click on the first one: a month and a half before both of you moved to Seoul. A fresh-faced Seungcheol appears on your screen, cheeks still round with adolescence. He’s in his room back in Daegu, can’t get the camera angle right. Nostalgia hits you like a ton of bricks as it pans to the side, to the wall behind his bed, and you see all his old posters. Mostly football players you couldn’t name, some girl group he used to love, a few movies. Just below them are some of the notes you’d written him in school, and they’re all you can focus on as he talks about how excited he is for the move.
The next: a few weeks after you’d started classes. By then, Seungcheol was well into the swing of things with Seoul FC. Already a big fish in a small pond, tryout offers from European teams starting to roll in. You can hear yourself in the background stressing over your first exam, wishing a generational curse upon your calculus professor. In the video, Seungcheol laughs, whispers like he’s telling the camera a secret as he talks about how nervous he is for his future. I don’t know why, he says, but it just feels like everything is about to change.
There’s a long pause between that one and the next. You understand why when you look at the date: three months after your breakup. Your hands hover uselessly above your keyboard. Whatever answers you’ve been looking for the last few years are probably in this video, but you can’t bring yourself to open it. Not right away, at least.
You click on a different one at random. Seungcheol’s somewhere in Europe, judging from the language on the signs behind him. Snow falls quietly—whenever he filmed this, it must’ve been early. No one else is around, and he cracks a joke that it’s a good thing, people would probably think he was crazy if they saw him. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going but he narrates the entire walk: points out a cafe he’s grown to love. The way to get to his practice stadium from where he’s standing. Pauses near a restaurant and laughs ruefully, shakes his head, says, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but one of my teammates set me up on a blind date here and I got stood up. You’d probably think that was funny.
(You do. It also makes your chest ache.)
One from two years ago: Seungcheol in a hotel room, clearly nervous. He raises his hand to wave at the camera and you can see the corners of his nails bitten raw. Dark circles beneath his eyes; cheekbones more pronounced than you’ve ever seen them. On the screen, Seungcheol sighs, rakes a hand through freshly-bleached hair. Sucks in a deep breath as he says, I’m so nervous. I’m so—so fucking nervous and I don’t. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I want to call you because you always knew what to say but that’s so fucking selfish. God, we haven’t spoken in years, and it’s my—that’s my fault, I know, so I brought this all on myself. I just want to hear your voice.
Another from a week after that: the color’s returned to his face, and he’s recording from what looks like a penthouse apartment. Sleek, modern; a small white dog napping on the bed beside him. He smiles, looks like he got his teeth fixed, looks like he’s no longer carrying around the weight of the world. Talks endlessly and excitedly about some tournament. Talks so fast you can barely keep up. Talks around words tinged with languages you don’t understand.
Seungcheol wins a championship. Records a drunk vlog from the same night, hair soaked through with god-knows-what—water, champagne, you don’t know. But he looks radiant. Looks like the culmination of two decades of dreaming. He looks happy, free, at peace. He looks like the reason he let you go, why he had to go away.
You scroll to the bottom of the files. Pause at the last video, dated seven months before the term started.
“Hi,” he says, and you can immediately tell everything is all wrong. Seungcheol’s in the dark, face only visible enough to see the tears tracking on his cheeks. “This is going to be the last one of these I make. I don’t know if you, uh—I’m sure you aren’t paying attention to me—my career—anymore, but. I, um. I got hurt. Ruptured my ACL. They’re not sure I’ll…” A sob escapes him. Has you wanting to climb through the screen to hold him, thumb away his tears, tell him everything is going to be okay. “They don’t know if I’ll ever play again.”
Seungcheol no longer looks happy, free, at peace. “Maybe you’ll be happy to hear that,” he continues. “Maybe it’ll help you to know I threw away our relationship for nothing.”
Cut to black.
The sudden silence is deafening. Has you desperately clicking back to the video you’d skipped, the one from just after your breakup. Seungcheol looks the same in that one, too, like the life has been drained out of him.
I don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s not like I’ll ever show these to you now, since I…
I’m sure I owe you an explanation. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing, I just—things have been so hard, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I feel like my life went from zero to a hundred before I could even blink and now I’m scrambling. I didn’t think it was fair to—to drag you through that. Me being away, moving to an entirely different continent. I have faith we could do it, I just. I don’t know, baby, I don’t…
You deserve to have your own life. Be your own person. I’m so scared that the world will never see you for who you are—so beautiful and intelligent and kind. You don’t deserve to be reduced to my partner. And if you ever see this, I know you’re gonna roll your eyes. Probably call me a mean name because I took the choice away from you, because you think I’m trying to be selfless and heroic, and you’d be right. It’s not fair, and I wish I could tell you I’m sorry.
I wish I could just… pluck out my brain and give it to you, because even if it killed me to do it, at least it makes sense to me. And I don’t—I don’t want you to think I’m not hurting. I’ve been sick to my stomach since I left. I know I’m making a mistake, I know I am, I just—how do I do what I think is right in the long-run when it’s not what I want right now, or ever?
I don’t want to get over you. I don’t want you to get over me, and that’s how you know I’m not acting selflessly, because you should. I want you to always be happy, I just… wish it was with me.
So, I’m going to keep making these. I’m going to take you along for the ride, wherever it takes us, because you should be here but I can only hope you can one day understand why you’re not. I’m so—I’m so sorry, I don’t…
I’m sorry.
I love you.
You fall asleep and dream that you were the one meant to meet him at that restaurant.
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The first thing you do is make a call to your mother.
“Could you send another container of yakgwa?”
On the other end of the line, your mother tuts, motherly intuition audibly kicking into overdrive. Is probably wearing that all-knowing, sly grin she always does when you try to be coy and evasive. “What happened to the last container I sent?”
“Ah, you know Kaori loves those. They barely lasted an hour after I told her what was in there.”
She hums an acknowledgement. Sounds like she takes a sip of tea. “I remember someone else being quite fond of those cookies, too.”
“Well, they are the most popular cookies in the country, so.”
After haranguing you into admitting they’re for Seungcheol and not your roommate, your mother promises to send them quickly. A few days at most, which buys you enough time to figure out how you’re going to approach the man in question.
The vlogs have turned your entire world upside-down. Answered questions you hadn’t even known you had. Took all that anger and resentment you’d been holding onto and set it free, and now you’re just left with… a void. Want to mend things, and it makes you wonder if such a thing is even possible, if it’s too late, but you don’t let those thoughts get very far.
Instead, you let them spur you into action. Have you sitting in front of your laptop at your desk, office hours long since over, silence creeping in the more the department empties. The thrum of the airconditioning and the tick-tick-tick of the clock are all the only company you have.
You worry if it’ll show on camera, how out of sorts you feel: sweating from the nerves, dabbing at your hairline; cheeks warm to the touch. But you suck in a breath anyway, steel yourself. Look at your webcam and the daunting red circle…
And start recording.
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He hadn’t gotten it at first. Not really.
There’d been a container of yakgwa outside his door with his USB drive taped to the top of it. No note—not that he needed one to know who it was from, but he wasn’t sure what it was. A goodbye? A please fuck off forever and never contact me again?
He’d just taken them inside. Ate too many of the cookies while feeling sorry for himself. Maybe had a glass or two of wine to compound the issue, and never, ever considered contacting you. Didn’t think he could bear it if you never wanted to see him again, but he just…
Well, he was drunk and alone and he missed you, and he’d rewatched all those videos he recorded a million times before when he was like this, so what was a million and one?
It’d been the same as every time before: he smiled at the happy parts, cried at all his old wounds. Wanted to reach through the screen and strangle his past self for including that part about the blind date, because he never wanted to date anyone who wasn’t you, why would he say that, felt mortified at the thought of you watching that—
And then there it was.
All the way at the bottom. A new video. One that hadn’t been recorded by him—
Hi, Cheol, you say, and that’s all it takes to reduce him to a sobbing, yearning mess. I’m not sure what to say here. I don’t really record much—sometimes for lectures when the professors are too busy, but never anything personal like this, but I watched every single one you made for me and I thought I should return the favor.
I wanted to tell you everything I’ve been up to since you left, but it hasn’t been much. I got my degree. Tutored a lot in undergrad—the same thing I’m tutoring you in now, actually. I was good at it and it felt good to have something that was mine, you know? I almost moved for grad school. Thought for a while I was going to wind up in New York, but then my parents divorced and it felt like too much, too scary, so I stayed. Kaori also stayed, so we got an apartment together. It’s not much, definitely not as nice as your place, but it’s good enough.
I don’t think I ever told you, but she was seeing a guy for a bit and he was… obsessed with you, to say the least. Thought you were the coolest person in the world. They aren’t seeing each other anymore. Ended pretty badly, but—speaking of which, maybe steer clear of Student Services for a while, too.
Sometimes it felt like failure that I wound up staying here. That I had scholarships from all these far-away, prestigious places and didn’t take advantage of them. That I gave into my fear. And now… I don’t know. Maybe there’s a reason I stayed behind. Maybe there’s a reason you ended up back here, too.
Whatever happens—I don’t want you to think I still blame you. Kaori says we do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time, and I understand now that’s what you did. Even though it hurt me, you were trying to protect me. I get it now. And I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been to go to all these places you didn’t know. To have to deal with your injury, the loss of a dream.
You said in one of your videos that you just want me to be happy, and that’s all I want for you, too, whatever that looks like.
Here’s my address if you ever want to come by to talk.
I love you, too.
—and then he’d been up and out the door, feeling stone cold sober, running to the front of his building to wait for his ride.
Felt like the drive took hours. Must’ve hit every red light between his apartment and yours. Took the steps two at a time just to get to your door faster.
There’s a man already standing outside your door when he gets there. One that looks shocked to see him, stars in his eyes, and when Seungcheol says, “Oh, you must be Kaori’s ex,” he looks more like he wants the earth to swallow him whole. Embarrassed in front of his idol.
He knocks on your door and gets no response. Knocks again, harder this time, and he has to try really hard to stifle his laughter when your voice yells from the inside, “Fuck off, Kenji, I already told you she’s not here!”
“It’s me,” Seungcheol yells back.
There’s quiet again. Just enough time for it to feel like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest and follow Kaori’s ex down the hall.
Then you’re yanking the door open—slowly, so slowly, like you’re scared it’s not actually him. Your eyes are brimming with tears when they meet his own, and he doesn’t let himself think, just goes on instinct, when he grabs for you, hands on your cheeks, and presses his lips to yours.
Somehow you taste the same.
Somehow you taste like redemption.
You taste like home.
Seungcheol kisses you until the tears slow. Kisses you until the universe realigns, until he could map your mouth in the dark. Kisses you until all you’re all he knows again.
When he pulls away, you’re gripping at his sweatshirt, don’t want to let him go. He presses his forehead to yours, offers up a million more apologies, starts talking nonsense. Says he’s going to drop microeconomics, what the hell does he know, he barely has a passing grade anyway, what does it matter, he’s such an idiot—
And then you say, “You came back,” and nothing else matters.
“I always will.”
(Later on, as you’re trying to steady your breathing, slick with sweat, your thigh thrown over Seungcheol’s hip as he stares down at you, dopey smile on his face, you say, “Choi Seungcheol, don’t you dare drop that class. I have worked my ass off to get you to barely-passing.”)
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if you’ve made it this far thank you so much for reading! i am still very new at writing for seventeen, so i hope this was acceptable. i'm now going to throw myself into the warped tour vernon fic and will hopefully not go another 7+ months without posting anything. 😭
i would love to hear your thoughts! <3
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moonstruckme · 3 months ago
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hi mae !! i wanted to ask whether you would consider writing poly!marauders where reader has really bad/intrusive nightmares about maybe something bad happening to loved ones/aka the boys? i keep having nightmares at night and when i wake up i’m way too scared to go to sleep again and can barely calm down. it’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable though !! 🫂💞
Thank you for requesting <3
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 776 words
You choke on a gasp as you wake, frantic to escape the hands restraining yours. 
“Hey, hey.” Sirius is holding your wrists to his chest, his grip gentle but strong as he watches you with worried eyes. “You’re okay, baby. You’re okay.” 
As fast as you’d launched into wakefulness, it takes you a second to realize you’re not in danger. Your muscles slacken gradually. 
“Dove?” Remus croaks from behind you. Sirius continues to look at you with that steady, searching gaze, like he’s making sure you’re well and truly awake. 
“You alright?” he asks softly. “You want the light on?” 
Your face feels very warm. “I’m sorry,” you try to say, but your voice comes out a whimper, followed promptly by a stymied sob. 
You can see Sirius’ expression scrunch painfully even through the blur of tears. You want to tell him that you’re okay, that this is more an aftershock of past upset than anything, but when you open your mouth only another sob emerges. 
“It’s okay,” he shushes you, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “You’re fine, sweetheart. Let’s sit up.” 
He reaches for the lamp while you sit up against the pillows, your knees curling up towards you instinctively. It illuminates the comfortable safety of your room, so different from the horrorscape of the dream you’ve just had, as well as the tired faces of your boyfriends. 
James is fumbling for his glasses on the nightstand while Remus squints into the light, clearly trying to make out your face. Sirius leans against the headboard beside you, taking one of your hands back in his. 
“Bad dream?” he asks, though you already all know the answer. 
You nod anyway. 
Remus makes a sad humming sound. “You were saying something in your sleep. Do you remember what happened?”
“No.” You sniffle. “I don’t know…I don’t remember what happened. Just how it felt.” 
Remus’ brow creases with sympathy. You can see James peering at you from behind him, looking half desperate to crawl across his boyfriend’s lap to get to you, but they know better than to crowd you when you’re like this. For now, Sirius takes the lead. 
He runs his thumb back and forth over your palm. “Do you want to talk about how it felt?” he asks you. 
You chew your lips. “I don’t think so.” 
If possible, his eyes soften further. “Do you want a hug, sweet girl?”
You worry you’re going to sob again. “Yeah,” you manage tightly. 
“Oh, sweetheart.” Remus’ arms come around you eagerly. Tender and kind, he rubs your arm and uses one of his hands to bring your head to his chest, pressing a kiss to your hair along with a shapeless murmur. Though you can’t make it out, the sound of his voice is sweet enough to coax another tiny sob from you. 
James makes a sound of distress when he hears it. “Remus, you’re supposed to be making her feel better.” 
“Yeah, what the hell?” Sirius seconds. “Clearly, you’re doing it wrong.” 
Remus chuckles. You feel it rumble through him, and Sirius squeezes your ankle teasingly. 
“Is he making you sadder, baby?” 
“No,” you mumble. 
“Mm, prove it.” You look down, and James’ head is resting on Remus’ lap. “Give us a smile.” 
You do your best. You know it has to be watery and awful, but your boyfriend beams up at you nonetheless. 
“There she is.” 
“You two are awful,” says Remus, cupping his hand over your ear protectively. “She doesn’t want your coercive happiness.” 
Sirius hums. He squeezes up your calf until his hand is resting on your knee. “Do you think you’re going to be able to go back to sleep?” he asks you.
You peek at him. “Honestly?”
“Always.” 
“Not really, no.” 
He frowns, but there’s no accusation in it. Just disappointment on your behalf. 
“Okay.” James rolls off Remus’ lap, sitting up. “I have to get ready for training in half an hour anyway. Want to sit with me in the living room until then, angel?” 
You look at him despondently. “Jamie, you don’t have to get up.” 
“No, come on.” He comes around the bed to collect you. Remus lets you go somewhat begrudgingly, allowing you to be tucked under James’ arm. “I’d have been up soon anyway. We’ll let those two sleep, I never get you to myself like this.” 
“There’s to be no kissing while Remus and I are asleep,” Sirius says as Remus reaches around him to turn off the light. 
“Tyrant,” James replies as you leave the room. He brings his face close to yours, scruff tickling your cheek. “Now we have to kiss extra.”
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