#to like a swinging pendulum of relationship woe and relationship lovey
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my brain is. so incredibly busy
#i keep going back and forth from like really happy#to really conflicted#to like a swinging pendulum of relationship woe and relationship lovey#idk there’s things i haven’t told anyone both with good and bad abt my gf#and i’m getting like other waves of oh god i’m a terrible boyfriend and also hey everything that ive done are things that ive done#with other friends and the only difference is that I’ve known 🦇 for a short amount of time#and also i don’t actually know him know him#like i know a bit about what he’s like with friends but i don’t know any of his friends so i don’t actually know#but also that’s kinda the exact same thing as my gf#and at this point i’m just like really happy with us#but i haven’t been happy enough to feel safe that things aren’t gonna get bad again#happy long enough*#and I#don’t wanna be a hypocrite with my friendship#but i’m also a very different partner than my gf#i know i’d hate if she was doing what i was doing#but she’s said and done shit that has made me feel really insecure to the point where i just kinda accepted that she might be cheating#at certain points#and she’s kinda said herself that she’s not sure she trusts hers#trusts herself#idk idk idk idk idk#i just want to keep my friendship with 🦇 the way ive been having it#and i don’t want her to ask me to stop#i know i’d never cross the line. i do trust myself#and i don’t want her to think otherwise
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