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is-that-another-soulmate-au · 4 years ago

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Zukka Soulmate AU part 6

@mypureessence

@chaoticidiott

@ari-shipping-stuff

@knightedbot

@idkhowbutimgayer

@swampy-beans

@angrylittleintrovert

"I'll see you after the war prince Zuko" Jee said while leaving with Zhao

"Traitor" Zuko snipped at him with an angry stare, how could he just leave? He honestly saw him as a friend at that point, not that he ever had a good Idea of friends.

Jee just gave him a sad look and whispered "I'm sorry."

Once left on the boat with just him and his Uncle Zuko felt panicked. He paced back and forth on the ships deck until Iroh pulled him into a hug "don't panic too much Prince zuko, you'll dry out your scar. Say, why don't we go for a short walk together? Perhaps we could find some native flowers along the way"

"I dont want to go for a walk" Zuko pouted "Im going to sleep, dont be out too late, I hope to leave by dawn"

"Do you remember your sailing training?"

"Of course uncle, I went over it every morning with the captain"

Iroh gave him a nod and was off on his walk. Zuko looked towards the moon, it was getting close to a full moon. Maybe he's watching the same moon right now. He flushed at the thought and shook his head before heading to bed.

So they were at the northpole now? Of course he knew they were traveling to find Katara a wonderbending master. Given that there were none in the south pole. That's weird isn't it? Of course the firenation had done something to get the advantage over them but what happened to all the waterbenders? That village did seem rather... small? Why was Sokka the only warrior there? Perhaps the warriors left with what few benders they probably had?

Thinking back to the day he first saw Sokka he remembered only the glare from the boy with war paint covering half his face. He hated him, clearly he did, of course he did, why wouldn't he? What was Zuko but a traitor to his own nation and an enemy to every other nation. He only had one option right? He had to capture Aang and bring him back to his father. That was the only way he'd ever get his fathers love back and he knew that... didn't he? If he knew that then why was it so tempting to take Katara up on her offer to join them, why was he so tempted to try with Sokka?

A sound outside his room brought him out of his train of thought with a start. "Uncle?" With no response he went on the defense, stalking down the hall outside his room. He held a firebending position, ready to defend himself at any given moment.

When he reached the captains room he looked around at the map. A screech from outside caught his attention and he looked up to see that parrot from the pirates he screwed over. "No" it flew off and he heard explosions go off only managing to encase himself with fire as protection a split second before it reached him.

Screaming he flew out the window, gaining a few cuts and scrapes before falling into the water several feet away from his ship. When he came up for air he stayed low and hid behind another ship. The timing was fairly obvious, those pirates were sent by Zhao to kill him.

Meanwhile at the northpole Sokka was laying down on his cozy fur bed ready for sleep when he felt his whole body heat up and pain on his right eye and cheek. "Sokka?" Katara said from the doorway "oh my gods what did he do now?"

Sokka brought his hand up to his cheek and lifted it away to reveal blood just before he had the breath knocked out of him for a good few seconds. Gasping for air once it was flowing again he looked up at her "I..."

"Look you dont have to admit anything but I think someone just tried to kill Zuko... or maybe they succeeded..."

"What? No, he's indestructible, he probably got away and fell or something" He hopes... wait... why would he hope that? Zuko is a prick, he doesn't care if he dies or not.

"For both of your sakes I hope he survived" Katara said, reaching to her necklace

"You never did tell us how you gor that back... did you?" Sokka narrowed his eyes

Katara gave a shy smile "well, I told Aang... guess I forgot to tell you, my bad... Zuko gave it back actually."

"What?" Sokka's shock was more than clear in his voice

"Oh dont sound so shocked Sokka, when the pirates attacked he gave the necklace to me before tying me up and... he actually was the one to give me back the scroll and cut the string... called it a favor and told me to get lost though" she gave a shrug "here, let me help you with those cuts, maybe it'll help him too"

Sokka smiled at her and closed his eyes when she reached him with that glowing water. The sting of the cut was soothed by the cold water almost instantly. "Thank you Katara"

"No problem, now get to sleep so you can get back to wooing the princess tomorrow" she teased

"I am not wooing her, I'm just... I like her okay? And she doesn't have a soulmate but she likes me... or at least I hope she does... I just want to make her happy while I'm here." He paused "I cant be her forever abviously" he gestured to his scar "but I can at least be there for her now right? I think that would be enough to make her happy for a short while" Katara gave a knowing look and juat nodded before Aang came back

"Pakku trained you longer today huh? Early tomorrow we're doing one on one?"

"Yeah, he wanted to make sure I didn't have any distractions" Aang rolled his eyes "and yeah, one on one's are tomorrow, you're gonna kick their butts"

Back on a firenation ship away from the found family and heading towards Ice and cold Zuko was harboring with Iroh on Zhao's ship "you didn't have to do this" he whispered to his uncle while sliding the front cover of his helmet off

"No son of mine is going to stow away on a ship without some back up" wait... son?

"Son?" Zuko asked in a stuttered whisper

Iroh gave a soft chuckle "sorry, I misspoke dear nephew... anyhow, do you have a plan?"

"Im working on it" Zuko slid his cover back on and averted his eyes "When will we reach the pole?"

"By late evening tomorrow.. hide out in the life boat docks, nobody checks those besides me and Jee"

And thats just what he did, resting between the barrels surrounded by ropes and oars. That night Jee managed to slip in to check on him. "Prince" he heard Jee call out to which he sturred and snapped his fingers to alert him to where he was "ah, prince, I came here to give you this"

Jee held out the hair ribbon that had fallen from his hair when he fell out of the ship. "Thank you Jee, I guess I should wear it somewhere else for now"

"Your neck would be best, though that would be more of a placement for a betrothal necklace in their culture so I suggest you wear it around wither your wrist or ankle"

"Betrothal? Like engagement or marraige?.is that what Katara wore? I thought she was fourteen.."

"Yes, that is what she wore, though I feel it was probably passed down in her family and likely does not symbolize engagement." Jee spoke softly while Zuko lifted his sleeve for Jee to tie the ribbon around his forearm

"They've been through alot, I just hope it doesn't mean something too terribly important since I gave it back to her"

"You what?" Jee said as he finished tying the ribbon and pulled down Zuko's sleeve

"Hah, yeah, I wanted to do something... nice I guess..."

"Are you coming around for him" Jee wiggled his eyebrows at Zuko with a grin

"Oh my Agni, shut uuuup" he shoved Jee who only laughed

"Y'know... you remind me alot of my younger brother... before he well.. yeah, the war isn't nice to anyone" Jee gave a small sigh

"How do I remind you of him?"

"Oh you know, stubborn, dramatic, gloomy," Zuko glared at him but Jee only chuckled "and a heart of gold covered in dust laid there by others"

That statement stayed with him the entire time he was breaking into the northpole. A heart of gold. His mind echoed as he came out of the water to find the seal turtle cove. Covered in dust. Rang out as he leapt into the next tunnel. "Laid there by others" he gasped out once he resurfaced in the icetunnel.

He let out a small breath of fire and looked out over the village he was now in. This village would be attacked come sunrise. He only had a small amount of time to rest and get his bearings before then.

He had to find Sokka... no.. no he had to find Aang, though he hoped Sokka was safe with his sister.

Why was he here, what was he doing here? He was here for the avatar... but he couldnt stop thinking about Sokka and his bright blue eyes and his quick thinking. He couldnt help but think about how this would likely hurt him.

He gave a sigh before standing... there was something warm calling him. Not so much calling, but... pulling. He wasn't about to ignore it so he walked towards the heat, but made sure to keep out of sight.

The cold was bitter but not unwelcome... he could live here if he had to right attire. "Look princess, you don't have to have a soulmate to find love" was that... Sokka? He hid behind the wall and peered around it to look at him

"I know that Sokka, but we both know you're already chosen for someone. I appreciate you helping me feel loved while I was here but he will need you" the princess spoke and Sokka looked out away from her

"I know.. but I doubt he'd ever even choose me over his stupid honor" he looked back to her "is it bad to say that I like him? I mean, Yue, Ive always hated my scar, its just so... terrible, you know? But on him?"

Sokka gave a sigh "its not so bad... I mean his eyes Yue, they're so.... so gold its like they're glowing, he's beautiful Yue... but not only that he's strong... and I... I just rambled didn't I?"

Yue laughed "you did" she placed her hand on his unscarred cheek "but that is alright, perhaps Zuko will be able to listen to you ramble on after the war"

Zuko's face was practically boiling at this point, he had to get out of there and find Aang. That is exactly what he did. He found the oasis and spotted Aang and Katara. Wow, so thats what a calm avatar glow is? Nice to not have it detroying your fucking ship.

How he managed to get Aang tied up and in a cave is between him and a specific waterbender who could and would kill him but he'd never actually kill her. No amount of money could convince him to actually kill someone. But here he was with Aang waking up and giving him not a scared or angry look, just a... disappointed look.

"Really?" The airbender said with irritation.

Zuko sighed and just untied the rope and handed it to Aang "yeah yeah, I know, again right? Just tie me up and leave me here"

Aang certainly tied him up but he also tossed him onto the back of Appa when he landed and flicked Sokka's nose so he'd feel it. "I said leave me" he pouted

"And I didnt agree to it" Aang chirped and landed at the lead for Appa

"You didnt even say anything to it"

"Exactly now shut up and accept the help flippy"

"Flippy? Where did that come from?"

Aang just turned to him and then back to where he was steering Appa "You know where"

"Whatever" he pouted and turned away from them.

Watching the scene with Zhao, his uncle and the trio plus Yue play out Zuko worked on untying himself and luckily Sokka left his machete on the saddle and he was able to utilize that because dang were those knots good.

He ran after where he knew Zhao would flee and gave chase as soon as he spotted him. Throwing a fire blast at him and watching his face turn from defense to confusion to shock was amusing. "You? Impossible!"

"You tried to have me killed!" He screamed out as he landed on the ice beside Zhao

"Of course I did, youre the blue spirit, a traitor to the firenation!" The fight went on

"I had no choice!" Zuko cried out

"You could have chosen to accept your failure! Maybe then you could have lived!"

"Why would I want to live knowing a man who's biggest threat was a fucking fish beat me when I can easily break through his supposedly impenetrable fort and steal a twelve year old right from under his nose!" Zuko taunted with a laugh

"Because then you might have a chance to see your father one last time!" Zhao taunted back while jumping to the bridge

Zuko gave a shout and swept a fire circle under Zhao's feet and sent him to the ground "I dont want to see that bastard again unless he's six feet under when he loses to the avatar"

"So you are joining them?" Zhao growled out.

"No. I'm just accepting what needs to happen." He didnt manage to make his final blow because the water spirit swallowed up Zhao who refused his helping hand when offered.

The trek to Iroh and Jee at the small raft was easier than the journey in. He sat cross legged on the edge, just simply watching the waters "uncle... can you cut my hair?"

Iroh turned to him "of course Zuko... might I ask why?"

"Because I'm not on the side of fire anymore"

Iroh gave a small sigh but nodded "let me cut my hair with you? I've been waiting for you to decide this for some time" And so Zuko and Iro shed their high hairstyles, watching the hair float away.

"Are you planning on reaching out to young Sokka soon?" Jee asked with a small smile

"No, I just want to sleep"

"Then you should rest prince Zuko," a gentle but firm hand was placed on Zuko's shoulder "a man needs his rest" Zuko looked at Iroh who had placed his hand there and then to Jee who jusf nodded

"Okay" was all he said before laying down on the raft and drifting to sleep.

#avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #prince zuko #atla zuko #zuko #atla sokka #sokka #zukka #i will die on my endless soulmate au hill #soulmate alternate universe #soulmates #RayMakesSoulmates

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fraybaness · 5 years ago

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such sweet sorrow

ao3

before she leaves, clary writes eight letters.

I. JACE

Dear Jace,

By the time you read this letter, my memories of you and the Shadow World will be gone.

It was the price the angels made me pay for the runes I’ve created.

It seems strange - and a bit cruel - that after everything you and I have been together, this is how we end. With me a mundane again and you reading a letter stained with tears I won’t remember crying.

But I have no regrets. These have been some of the best times of my life because of the people I was lucky enough to share them with. Because of you. You were right to think I loved you unconditionally. I do. And I always will. No angel or demon could ever change that.

And even if I don’t remember you, you will always be in my heart.

Love,

Clary

II. SIMON

Dear Simon,

This is really hard to say. I think it’s especially hard to say it to you, but I owe you an explanation. Well, I owe you much more than that, but this is all I can give you for now: when I created that rune today, to stop Jonathan, I made Raziel angry. So by the time you read this, I’m not going to know you’re a daylighter. I’m going to think you’re dead.

The hardest thing to come to terms with these past few hours has been the fact that I will never see you again. I can’t imagine my world without you, Simon Lewis. That can’t possibly be real. Life without you is just a horrible nightmare. But I’m going to have to face that nightmare soon, and I won’t be able to wake up. I’m just sorry that you’re going to lose a friend, too.

Please don’t do anything stupid like come looking for me or try to change this. You can’t change this. I’ve made my choice and I would make it again. Because this sucks. This really fucking sucks and I don’t think I’ve been in this much pain since my mom died but at least this time there is a point to all this pain: I saved people. I saved you. I’d give up anything to keep you safe. I wish I didn’t have to break your heart to do it, but I can’t change that, either.

I love you. I’m going to miss you. I wish we had more time.

Love,

Your Clary, always

III. ISABELLE

Dearest Isabelle,

I scrapped so many drafts of this letter. I don’t know where to begin in telling you what you mean to me. Asking you to be my parabatai was supposed to be my way of telling you how much I love you and how you make me better. A better Shadowhunter, a better friend, a better person overall.

But that’s no longer a possibility, seeing as by the end of the night, I won’t remember you or this life. Apparently Raziel doesn’t approve of my rune mixing angel and demon blood.

I know. I want to be angry too. But I killed my brother this morning and my runes are already disappearing. There isn’t a lot of fight left in me.

Give ‘em hell on my behalf, won’t you?

I should end this letter now, before I go off on tangent after tangent and run out of time and realize I haven’t written to anyone else. But before I do, I just want to thank you for being the kindest, strongest, most amazing woman in the world. I’m very sorry that I will never get to call you my parabatai, but I know that in some way, our souls are already bound together.

Love,

Clary

IV. MAGNUS

Dear Magnus,

A part of me wanted to write this letter and give it to you before anyone else’s. Before anything became permanent. I wanted you to run after and me and tell me that we can fix this, you and me. Point out a loophole, help me come up with a solution, help me do something. But there is nothing either of us can do this time around. Which is why I really hope you didn’t find this until after your honeymoon.

At times, I think you know me better than I know myself, so I doubt there is anything I can say that you don’t already know. But let me just say: thank you. For everything. I couldn’t have done any of it without you.

With love,

Biscuit

V. ALEC

Dear Alec,

If a couple months ago someone told me that I would be tearfully writing a goodbye letter to Alec Lightwood of all people on his wedding day, I would’ve laughed in their face. But that’s exactly what I’m doing right now, so I guess you were right: nothing in this world is impossible.

All jokes aside, I’m proud of how far we’ve come, both in our weird relationship and as individuals. During my time in the Shadow World, I’ve managed to build a whole new family, and you’re undoubtedly a part of that. You’ve been more like a big brother to me than my own could ever be.

I hope you and Magnus live a long and happy life together (by the way, congratulations! I can't think of a more perfect couple.) and I hope you don’t miss me driving you crazy too much. And I really hope I don’t forget the things I’ve learned from you all.

Love,

Clary

VI. MAIA

Dear Maia,

It seemed plain wrong to write to everyone but you. Truthfully, I don’t even know if you still kinda-sorta like me, or if Luke leaving the pack and you and Simon breaking up means you and I can’t be on good terms anymore. But I hope that’s not the case, because I really like you, and I don’t want you to think I’m an idiot for writing a heartfelt farewell letter to someone who hates my guts.

On the off-chance that you do, in fact, still like me, here is my heartfelt farewell letter:

I don’t know if the others told you, or if you even want to hear, but tonight is my last night in the Shadow World. By tomorrow, I won’t remember any of this, and I won’t remember any of you.

I wish you were going to be at Magnus and Alec’s wedding so we could use some of my borrowed time to get to know each other. I know it sounds like a waste, because I’m going to forget anyway, but I don’t see it that way. I mean, isn’t everyone living on borrowed time in one way or another? I wish I could use mine to do everything I’ve been putting off and get to know everyone I haven’t had a chance to.

Sorry, I’m probably being a little weird and depressing. I initially started writing this to tell you that I wish we’d hung out more, yes, but mostly to say I heard you were alpha now, and that’s how I know the New York pack is going to be just fine, and I’m more than a little disappointed that I won’t be around to see just how amazing you’re going to be.

(Also, Simon’s an idiot for letting you go.)

Sincerely (hoping this wasn’t too weird),

Clary

VII. MARYSE

Dear Maryse,

I’ve recounted this in too many letters tonight, and every time I bring it up or think about it my heart hurts, but here goes: tonight, Raziel is going to take my memories and my powers. I’m going to just be Clary Fray again, and I’m not even going to know what I’ve lost.

But that’s not why I’m writing to you. I’m writing to ask you to give Luke's letter to him when he gets back, and to say that I’m happy you’re in Luke’s life, and that you were in my life, however briefly. I’ll admit I didn’t like you very much when we first met, but seeing how much you’ve changed and how much Izzy and Alec and Jace and Luke and Magnus love you has certainly changed that. I wish the two of us had the chance to get to know each other, too.

Especially because right now, I could really use a mom.

-Clary

VIII. LUKE

Dad,

I’m sure the others have already told you what’s happened, so I won’t waste ink and precious time going into details. I’ll just say what I need to say. The important things. Which are these: I love you more than I could possibly ever say, I want you to be happy, and you should grow your beard back.

And this: I don’t know what’s going to happen now.

It’s only to you that I can admit just how scared I am, just how badly I wish this wasn’t happening. I don’t want to break your heart any more than I already have but I don’t think I could have said (or written) this to anyone else. And I needed to say it to someone. I'm no stranger to going blindly into dark, dangerous adventures, but I still hate doing it alone.

Selfishly, I hope to see you again. I don’t know if I will even remember you in a few hours (I don’t see how I could ever forget you, but the angels have their ways, I suppose), but I can’t imagine a life without you. You have always kept me grounded in this crazy, messed-up life every day since before I can remember, and even if I’m a whole different person tomorrow, that won’t change, and neither will my love for you.

But, anyways, I didn’t mean to make this letter so depressing. All I want to say is that I love you, and I’m going to be okay, somehow, so please just live your best life and be happy, because you deserve it.

And maybe be a little proud of me? I’m trying very hard not to let anyone down today.

Love,

Clary

IX. UNWRITTEN

Dear Clary,

You’re going to be okay.

#sh fic #clary fray #c: clary #r: clary x luke #r: clace #r: climon #r: clizzy #r: fraybane #r: fraywood #r: claia #r: clary x maryse #angst #canon compliant #canon divergence #fix-it fic

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isolavirtuosa · 5 years ago

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Starting Over (For Real?) 1-3

Sequel to Starting Over and Starting Over (Again).

[fanfiction] NaruSasu

Whose dream is it now?

Starting Over (For Real?)

Isola Virtuosa

- 1 -

When I woke up this time, I was still inside of the tree’s roots. I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the memories of yet another fake world that I’d been imprisoned in for who knows how long. This was reality. I was trapped inside of a tree, having all of my chakra sapped away. The first thing I needed to do was get out of here before I didn’t have enough chakra to power my rinnegan.

And yet, how had I been able to get enough chakra to activate my rinnegan in the first place?

The warmth in my chest was growing, like my chakra was increasing rather than decreasing, yet I still felt the gentle drain of it as it left my body and went into the tree.

The more I came back into reality, the more I started to realize that what I thought was part of the roots was actually a human hand, a human torso, a human leg.

“Naruto,” I tried to say, but I don’t think any sound came out. I tried to move, but I felt like I was bound in place. I focused on the chakra that Naruto was feeding into me, gathering it into a chidori and blowing a hole through the roots that were trapping us.

I gasped as real air hit my lungs, but Naruto didn’t as much as stir. I tried to tear out of the pod, but my arm felt like lead. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and concentrating my chakra again. Then we were falling. It must not have been very high, but after landing feet first, I immediately fell backwards and hit my head. All I saw was white.

Naruto groaned, still attached to my torso.

I managed to get my voice to crack, but nothing more.

“Saaaa,” Naruto croaked, and I felt him trying to move.

My vision started to clear slowly. It was still too bright out for my eyes to adjust. I was suddenly overwhelmed by the chakra pouring into my body. I gasped, trying to tell Naruto to stop.

“Rin…” he whispered. “Rinnegaa…”

He was right. The most important thing right now was my rinnegan.

“My… legs,” he rasped.

This was hopeless. Neither of us could walk, our muscles so severely atrophied. What was the point of waking up if we were just going to get sucked back in, starting over again and again and again in this endless cycle?

“Sasuke,” Naruto said, dissolving into a coughing fit. “Sas…” he started coughing again. “Sasuke, don’t… give up…”

“…s… the poin…t?” I forced through my ragged throat.

Naruto’s hand slammed into mine. He flopped it around some more until he could curl his fingers around mine. “Seal.”

“It…” I tried to get the words to come out. “Won’t. Work.”

“Hafta try.”

I wanted to scream. I had tried. Twice already. Third time was not the charm. We were going to die here. Even if we released the jutsu, we couldn’t move and there was no one coming to save us. We would die from exposure.

“Want… to… go… back?” Naruto asked, croaking each word out slowly.

Live in a world that gave you what you thought you wanted, or die.

I tried to remember the Sage’s words and slowly guided Naruto’s hand into the rat seal with mine.

It felt like it couldn’t be this easy.

“How do we even know if this is real?” I tried to shout, my voice barely coming out above a whisper.

“We have to believe,” Naruto said into my chest, his head so heavy he couldn’t lift it.

Of course the real Naruto would say something stupid like that.

So I believed.

- 2 -

“So this is how I’m going to die,” I muttered through cracked lips. After we had released the seal, the God Tree had started to wither away. We were no longer under constant peril of being swallowed up by a carnivorous tree. Now we were starving, dehydrated, and incapable of so much as sitting up. The sun had set and risen again, the both of us fading in and out of consciousness.

“I bet I can live longer than you,” Naruto said, laughing and coughing.

“I’d like to see you try,” I rasped.

“I am gonna live so hard,” he replied.

I squeezed his hand, our fingers still curled together from when we performed the seal, though Naruto had somehow managed to finally roll himself off of my chest and onto his back. Help wasn’t coming. Everyone else had been trapped in the tree same as we had, with the same atrophying effects. We were miles from anyone, with no chance of someone stumbling upon us in a rescue effort. I only hoped that the scavengers would pick our bones clean so no one would realize how embarrassingly I had indulged myself in my last moments.

“I wish it would rain,” Naruto murmured, licking his lips again.

“You’re just making it worse,” I scolded him.

“Whaddya mean?!”

“The moisture from your lips… evaporates…” I started to trail off, feeling myself being drawn into sleep again.

“Please stay with me,” Naruto said quietly, snapping me back awake.

I felt too tired to even answer him. I put all my effort into squeezing his hand.

“At least we saved the world,” he said, squeezing back.

“Whatever’s left of it…” I managed to get out.

“Why do you have to be so damn pessimistic?!”

I smiled and it hurt.

Naruto sighed, then went quiet.

“…Naruto?”

He didn’t answer.

I felt myself drifting.

Someone was standing over us.

I was appalled that I hadn’t sensed their approach even in my near-death state. Then I realized that I couldn’t feel her chakra.

“They’re still alive!” she called over her shoulder.

There were others.

Just like that, we were being taken back to Konoha.

I woke up in someone’s living room, an IV in my arm.

“Easy,” Naruto said, squeezing my hand.

I let the chakra I’d been building up disperse, trusting in him completely that we were safe.

Then I remembered that he wasn’t my Naruto. This man sitting next to me with a ridiculous beard was practically a stranger, someone I hadn’t really and truly spoken with in almost four years. Or was it five, even six now? More?

“How long?” I rasped at him.

“Almost two years,” he said. He was still holding my hand.

It wasn’t quite as bad as I’d imagined, since I’d lived through several years in the Infinite Tsukuyomi. “You look ridiculous.”

Naruto grinned. “Look who’s talking. I’m not surprised that Uchihas are terrible at growing beards, though. That’s what you get for being pretty like a lady.”

I stared at him.

His grin faltered and he retracted his hand. “S-sorry, I’m just… I’m used to you being… different.”

“I get it,” I said, turning away from him and finally taking in our surroundings in more detail. We were in a living room with futons laid out across the floor, though ours were the only ones currently occupied. We both had IVs feeding into us, but I was surprised by how easily I could move. My muscles weren’t as deteriorated as I’d expected from being in a coma for over a year.

“There was a whatsit uh paralytic in the tree,” Naruto said, and I could feel his eyes following my every movement. “That’s why we couldn’t really move. That’s uh what you were wondering, right?”

Stop reading my mind, I thought. Stop acting like you know everything about me.

“So uh it seems like some people were immune to the Infinite Tsukuyomi and uh ya know they were all just like chillin’ and watchin’ over the tree while the world went to hell and then we released the seal and they saw all the bodies bein’ freed and started rescuin’ everyone and they found Kakashi-sensei and he told ’em where ta look for us and uh yeah so uh yeah.”

I sat up. It took more effort than I would have liked, but I did it, letting the blanket pool in my lap as I turned to stare at Naruto. “Do I make you nervous?”

He let out a very high-pitched laugh.

I didn’t even know where to start.

“I don’t know how to act around you,” he said quietly. “I was playing with my kids and now I’m in the ruins of Konoha with… nothing…” He choked on the last word, his entire face crumbling.

I looked away and waited.

“You were out for a while, but I was able to get a lot of information from Ms. Miharu,” he said, calm again. His tone was starting to sound more like an adult and less like a tongue-tied child. “This is her house. There were about twenty people in Konoha who were immune to the Infinite Tsukuyomi, all non-ninjas, and they’ve just been trying to survive for the last couple of years. They’ve done some trading with survivors from other towns and villages, but food and skilled professions like doctors have been scarce, so it seems like it’s been pretty tough.”

I wondered if they hadn’t been better off without us. “I want to leave.”

“Where the hell did that come from?!”

“I don’t know these people who are supposedly taking care of us, first of all,” I said, already feeling my blood pressure rising from Naruto’s flailing and whining. “Second of all, I’m a missing nin and there is no possible way that I can stay here anyway.”

“Uh, where are you gonna go?” Naruto asked, scratching his nose. “There’s nothing out there.”

“There’s nothing here, either.”

“There’s me.”

“Just what I always wanted.”

“Are you being sarcastic?!”

I looked at him.

“Your chakra is depleted and you’re missing an arm, you’re in no condition to be going anywhere,” he said with a frown.

“I’ve been missing an arm for years,” I said.

“So the reality of missing an arm is exactly the same as the dream world?” Naruto asked. His tone was getting a little too sassy for my taste. “Because it’s completely different for me. The balance isn’t what I expected, and my brain keeps telling me that I feel pain where my arm used to be.”

He wasn’t wrong. “I’m still leaving.”

“Dressed like that?” he said, and it was true that my clothes had been torn, my belt had been lost, and I looked like- “A stripper who had a fight with a tailed-beast and lost?”

“Who the hell is a stripper?”

“You! You are a stripper! I can literally see your titties!”

“I feel like I’ve walked in at an awkward moment,” the woman standing in the doorway said.

“It’s always awkward with us,” Naruto said with a grin.

“Oh, dear…” she said, looking between us. “Mr. Uchiha, it’s nice to see you awake. I’m sorry about the hack job I did with the IVs, I’m not actually a nurse… And I’ve got some clothes for you to change into if you’d like, I just didn’t want to be undressing and redressing you without your consent. I’m Miharu, by the way. Pleasure to meet you.”

“What’s in the IV?” I asked abruptly.

“Ah, it’s some nutrients and such, but before there was also the anti-paralytic to get your body moving again,” she explained, bustling around the room. She came back over to me with a set of pajamas.

I eyed them disdainfully before accepting them. “And how did a non-nurse go about developing an anti-paralytic for the God Tree?”

“You’re so rude,” Naruto muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, that wasn’t me,” Miharu explained. “There was a scientist who came from Suna. You see, we tried to cut y’all down from that tree, but even if we pulled you out of those pods, you just wouldn’t wake up and you eventually got sucked back in. But that scientist and some others tried studying you these last few months, and came up with the anti-paralytic for the day that y’all might wake up.”

“I see,” I said. I still didn’t trust her, though my gut said she was harmless.

“Gosh, you must really just want to wash up and finally be rid of those rags,” she said, going to dig through a drawer and coming up with a couple of towels. “We don’t have running water, but we’ve got a well and some buckets if you want to go wait in the bathroom. It’s probably gonna be tough to walk right now, but the others that we rescued way before you are starting to get on their feet again. And then there’s Mr. Uzumaki here, who just defies reality, doesn’t he?”

“Demon fox,” Naruto said, patting his stomach. “Kurama’s actually a really helpful guy when it comes to getting injured. Anyway, I’ll help you go up the stairs, Sas’.”

I glared at him.

Miharu started removing our IVs.

“Do you like sleeping in your own blood and filth?” Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“I don’t need your help,” I said. I pushed myself up onto my knees, wobbling a little but keeping it together. I tried to bring one leg up, but it didn’t want to move.

“Why don’t I start hauling those buckets for you?” Naruto offered.

“I would be much obliged,” Miharu said, and the two left.

Fuck, I hated him. Being respectful and not playing on my embarrassment. What other horrible traits had he developed in the dream world?

I couldn’t stand. I crawled to the couch awkwardly and pulled myself up.

“Sasuke.”

I kept my back to him as he loomed in the doorway.

“Let’s go upstairs?”

It was humiliating as he settled my arm over his shoulder and hoisted me up. My legs did not want to work properly, taking staggering steps even when Naruto was taking most of the weight.

He sat me on a stool in the shower and moved to undress me.

“No.”

He looked at me.

“You can go,” I said dismissively.

“Good, ’cause you smell awful,” he said, his shoulders sagging with rejection. “I’ll be outside the door if you need anything.”

I waited until the door had shut fully before I moved my arm painfully in the motions of undressing. Clearly our muscles had been kept active somehow, but they were still stiff and hard to move.

I tossed the clothes on the side of the tub and started washing up with the bar of soap that I’d been given.

It quickly became apparent that I could not lift the bucket to rinse myself.

I thought about calling Naruto.

Like I would ever ask that idiot for a favor. It was bad enough he’d half carried me up the stairs.

I moved the water out of the bucket with my chakra, which was a waste and would probably set my recovery back, but Uchihas had their pride.

I banged on the door when I was done dressing, and Naruto opened it almost immediately.

“How long was I asleep?” I finally asked as he helped me down the stairs.

“Four days.”

“Fuck,” I muttered. I’d started to suspect, but that was a long time to be unconscious and vulnerable in an enemy village.

“I stayed with you,” he offered quietly. “I wouldn’t let anything… and anyway, most of the ninjas are still laid up.”

“I need to get out of here,” I asserted.

“Sasuke…”

“Nice and clean?” Miharu asked from the bottom of the stairs. “I can put in another IV, or are you up to tryin’ some solid food?”

I didn’t want to pump unknown liquids into my body, but I also didn’t want to eat food from an unknown source. Not that I was excessively paranoid.

I was just the right amount of paranoid.

“Ms. Miharu’s a great cook,” Naruto said, a grin stretching across his face. I tried not to be blinded by it.

“Well, I don’t know about all that, but I could make you some broth to ease your stomach,” she offered.

“Fine,” I said gruffly.

“Thank you,” Naruto said, giving her a sweet smile.

She disappeared into the next room.

I frowned at him.

“What? Just because you have no manners doesn’t mean the rest of us shouldn’t.”

“I hate when you do that.”

“Do what?!”

I sat heavily on the couch, shoving him away.

He sat on the arm, as close to me as possible. He opened his mouth to speak, and then our eyes met.

We both looked away.

I needed to get out of here.

- 3 -

Kakashi came to visit on the third day.

“You look awful,” I informed him.

“As do you,” he said, grinning away under his mask.

I’d finally shaved my farce of a beard, but I couldn’t really disagree with him. We all looked like ghosts of our former selves.

Kakashi continued to grin, not saying anything.

“Did you want something?” I asked irritably. He was the first person I’d seen besides Naruto and Miharu, and I realized I was fine with not seeing anyone ever.

“Just checking in on your recovery,” he hummed. “Naruto said you were still having trouble walking.”

I looked at him.

“Oh, I’ve been appointed to act in the hokage’s stead while she recovers,” he said, like I’d asked him a question.

“Making sure I’m not getting into trouble?” I scowled.

“No, that’s why Naruto’s here,” he answered.

It suddenly seemed very obvious.

“And if I try to leave?”

“He’ll stop you,” he said cheerfully.

“Because those are his orders.”

Kakashi actually laughed at that. “Well, yes, they’re his orders, but I don’t think Naruto needs orders to chase you halfway around the world.”

I felt… betrayed.

Some of the mirth left his eyes. “Don’t start doubting him now.”

I was fool to think that the village in ruins meant that the conspiracy was dead.

“Sasuke,” Kakashi said sharply. “He is on your side. He wouldn’t even leave your damn side to help with the village when he’s the only fully-functioning ninja in all of Konoha. He chose you.”

I didn’t care what he had to say. It had been worrying at the back of my mind, why Naruto and I were the only two patients staying in this house that had clearly been prepared for so many more. I told myself that it was because this place was so far on the outskirts of town, so far away from the hospital staff and the necessary supplies. My mind loved to rationalize when it came to Naruto.

He was my weakness, and I was tired of it.

“What’s that look for?” Naruto asked, his grin faltering as he strolled into the room.

I turned away from him.

“Mm, well, he knows,” Kakashi explained.

“Knows what?” he asked, stooping in front of me and leaning in so his face was right in front of mine.

“That you’re spying on him.”

“I’m not spying on him!” Naruto cried, eyes darting to Kakashi, then frantically back to me. “I’m not spying on you!”

I would have gotten up and left if I could walk.

“Senseeeei,” Naruto whined, still looking between us.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Kakashi asked, taking out a book.

“I was working my way up to it! Our relationship’s all weird and awkward ’cause of the stupid Tsukuyomi.”

“That’s why your relationship is weird and awkward?” Kakashi snorted. He licked his thumb to turn the page.

“Are you gonna tell us what happened in your dream world?” Naruto asked, trying to cross his arms over his chest, realizing he only had one, and losing his balance. He stumbled back into a standing position, trying to play it off like it hadn’t happened.

“I’m sure you can figure it out,” Kakashi said with a shrug.

“Uh… how?”

“Use that brain of yours.”

“What brain?” I muttered.

“Don’t you start,” Naruto said, frowning at me.

I blinked. First of all, I was angry with him. Second of all, the normal Naruto response would be, ‘what the hell was that, bastard?!’, accompanied by yelling and flailing.

I tried to stand up, my legs shaking.

“Hey, take it easy,” he said, catching my arm. My weight caused him to stumble, but he held us both up.

“This isn’t real,” I said, trying to push him away. I ended up falling.

“Uh…”

I crawled towards the door. It was a struggle to open it, but then I was outside. I looked into the sky, searching desperately.

“No one else has shown signs of psychosis,” Kakashi was reasoning behind me.

“Yeah, but he’s lost it,” Naruto said, and suddenly he was there hauling me to my feet. “What’s gotten into you, are you gonna crawl all the way across the border?”

“The moon,” I said. “Where’s the goddamn moon?”

“Uh, I dunno, wherever it goes during the daytime?”

“It has to be here somewhere!” I snapped, leaning my neck backwards and searching the sky.

Naruto was struggling to keep us both up and finally just sat us on the ground. “What are you doing? What’s going on? Talk to me…”

I finally looked at him when I felt his hand touch my cheek. “This isn’t real,” I said flatly.

“You keep saying that, and I keep thinking you’re nuts, so…”

“Don’t you get it, we’re still in the Tsukuyomi!” I said, pinching his cheek until he let go of me.

“Uh, no,” Naruto said. “You got us out, remember?”

“Why am I even bothering?” I muttered. “You’re just a stupid figment of my imagination.”

“I think I take offense to that,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.

I started moving away from him. Did I have to see the moon to wake up, or was it just enough to realize? I put all of my chakra into my rinnegan.

“Are you gearing up for a battle?” Naruto asked, chuckling nervously.

He looked so damn real.

“Hey,” he said. His eyes probed mine, and then he reached out his hand again, this time catching me by the back of the neck and pulling me close until our foreheads touched. “I’m pretty sure I’m real.”

Of course he was touching me, of course he was staring into my eyes with that overwhelming sincerity of his. Because that’s what I wanted, so that’s what the world gave me.

“I mean, I’d know if I wasn’t real,” he continued, his brow scrunching up. He laughed nervously. “Of course I’d know.”

“You’re not,” I said, closing my eyes. I couldn’t take anymore blue.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because you’re not you,” I whispered. “You’re who I want you to be.”

“This is who you want me to be?” Naruto asked, sounding confused. “I mean, I’m just the same as always, just… I dunno… I’m me, Sas’. Come on. Look at me.”

I didn’t open my eyes.

His sigh brushed across my lips.

I closed my eyes more tightly, goosebumps ghosting up my arm.

“Sorry,” Naruto said, abruptly moving away.

I was an idiot. I needed to find the moon. I needed to get out of here. I needed to do these things immediately, but I felt rooted to the spot, my eyes still closed.

“You’re freaking me out,” Naruto finally said.

I slid my eyes open.

“This isn’t the Infinite Tsukuyomi,” he stated.

“How would you know?” I asked dismissively.

“’Cause,” he said.

I looked at him.

“I mean, we escaped, right? We woke up outside of the tree.”

“It wasn’t real the first time, why would it be this time?”

“Whaddya mean, the first time?” he asked, scratching his nose. Then he frowned. “Oh, that dream.”

I stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

He took a breath and let it out sharply. “You pulled me down once before, right? We weren’t together. In the tree. Before. The first time or whatever. You woke up and pulled me down, yeah?”

“You remember?”

“Yeah.”

There was so much pain and loss in his face that I looked away.

“Your arm was… it looked really bad, and you just passed out,” he said. “I couldn’t wake you up and then everything went black and I woke up back in my bed like nothing had happened.”

“You went back into the same dream world?” I asked.

“Yeah, didn’t you?”

“I woke up because I knew it wasn’t real,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Why are you so stupid?”

“Why are you so rude?” Naruto shot back, nudging me with his foot.

I turned to look at him. “This is my third dream world.”

“It’s not a dream,” he said, kicking at me again, but this time I caught his leg.

“How do you know that?” I snarled at him.

“I don’t!”

“Oh,” I said, dropping his leg.

“But arguing about it in the middle of Ms. Miharu’s garden isn’t going to do anything about it!”

I wanted to break down, to throw myself into his arm, to scream and shout and cry, but I was an Uchiha. “The moon isn’t visible, now, anyway.”

Naruto looked at me.

I waited for him to figure it out and come help me to my feet.

We struggled back inside without a word. We were never good at the words part.

“Why are you still here?” Naruto groaned as he sat me on the couch next to Kakashi.

I had been about to say the same thing.

“Just making sure you’re not off killing each other,” he replied, but even with a smile it sounded serious.

“That was a million years ago,” Naruto said, waving it off.

“Only two, actually,” Kakashi pointed out. “But I remember it like it was only yesterday.”

Naruto sat on the arm of the couch next to me, his arm draped along the back of it. “We’ve all lived completely different lives since then. Sasuke apparently had two of them.”

“And did one of those two lives change how he felt?”

“Duh,” Naruto said, then shot a glance towards me. “Right?”

I looked at him.

“You don’t want to kill me anymore,” he said, trying to sound confident.

“I don’t.”

“See,” Naruto said, beaming at Kakashi.

“When will I be exiled?” I asked.

Kakashi’s smile seemed to widen. “How can I exile you from a place that doesn’t even exist?”

Naruto looked dumbfounded, and for once we were in agreement. This wasn’t part of the Tsukuyomi script, and even I had no idea about what was going on.

“I’m here as the acting hokage, but to be honest the title no longer has any meaning.”

“What are you going on about, Sensei?!” Naruto cried, jumping to his feet. “Of course it has meaning, it’s...” he hesitated. “Well, it has meaning anyway!”

“Konoha no longer exists,” Kakashi said. “The village is in ruins, most of the ninja are incapacitated, and there isn’t enough food to feed all of us.”

“So I’m not exiled… because there’s no place to exile me from…?”

“You were always the smart one,” Kakashi said, standing up and patting me on the head.

I scowled at him to cover up my confusion.

“This was a nice visit,” Kakashi hummed sauntering to the door.

“S-sensei!” Naruto stuttered, chasing after him. “You can’t mean… but how can… I don’t��”

Kakashi grinned before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

#narusasu #isola starting over #i ain't even gonna lie this is so slow until like chapter 20

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monotonous-minutia · 5 years ago

Text

Le Nozze di Figaro, Act IV, 40 lines

Belated. For @notyouraveragejulie. As always thank you for the wonderful prompts; this is so much fun :D Working on the other request too!

Le Nozze di Figaro, Act IV, 40 lines

Barbarina is in the garden looking around

Barbarina: Oh no I lost the pin that the Count gave me to give to Suzanna now I’m in trouble

Figaro and Marcellina come in

Figaro: What’s this about a pin and the Count and Suzanna??

Barbarina: I was supposed to give this pin back to Suzanna that the Count gave me. OOPS I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE

Figaro: Oh no worries my dear, I won’t say a word. *steals a pin from Marcellina who just happens to have one that looks exactly like Suzanna’s* Here’s your pin! Now run off and contribute to my betrayal I mean have a good day my dear. *Barbarina leaves* MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM SUZANNA’S CHEATING ON MEEEE

Marcellina: Don’t jump to conclusions.

Figaro: Nope she’s totally cheating on me I’m gonna get revenge for all husbands *he runs off*

Marcellina: Men! If only they could be more like goats when it comes to women and be nicer to their wives. Not sure exactly where that metaphor came from but it’ll do for now. I better go tell Suzanna what’s up. *she leaves*

Barbarina comes back into the garden with a basket of fruit

Barbarina: The Count is so stingy! I wish he would leave Cherubino alone already. That page is such a cutie. I can’t wait to find him and make out I mean give him this fruit. Oh no, someone’s coming. Better hide! *hides in an arbor*

Figaro enters with Bartolo and Basilio

Figaro: Gentlemen, wait here. When you hear me whistle, come find me. *he leaves*

Bartolo: Cool, now what are we supposed to do?

Basilio: Did I ever tell you about the story of when I got caught in the rain with a donkey’s skin?

Bartolo: That sounds extremely disturbing so I’m just going to leave even though Figaro told me to stay here. *leaves*

Basilio: No one ever wants to hear my aria. What’s the point of being a tenor in an opera buffa if I don’t even get a solo? *exit*

Figaro: *comes back* Ah, women are so untrustworthy. I shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place but then I guess the title of this thing wouldn’t make sense and anyway I love Suzanna but she’s such a traitor and so are all women and here I go again. Imma go hide now. *he hides*

Suzanna and the Countess enter disguised as each other

Suzanna: We’ll show those faithless husbands what’s up and by faithless I mean your cheating husband and my ridiculous one who apparently doesn’t trust me even though I literally just pledged my life to him although I suppose I could have just told him we were going to do this to put his mind at ease BUUUT then it wouldn’t be nearly as funny so NO REGRETS also I know Figaro is here hiding because he’s suspicious of me so I’m going to sing a song that he can hear OH MY DEAR LOVE HOW EXCITED I AM TO SEE YOU IN THIS BEAUTIFUL GARDEN Imma go hide now *she hides*

Cherubino skips in singing as if he hasn’t just been reprimanded a dozen times and almost got killed by an angry husband at least twice

Cherubino: LALALALALALALA *sees the Countess wearing Suzanna’s clothes* oooooooh look it’s Suzanna I’m going to be really inappropriate and ask for a kiss because I’m an imp everyone says I am so it may as well be true HI SWEETIE

Countess: GO AWAY

Cherubino: Don’t play coy with me! Oops here comes the Count better hide *goes into the arbor*

Count: That stupid page will be the death of me. Ah, Suzanna, there you are. Now let’s get this party started. You’re so lovely!

Countess: I know. Wait, I hear someone coming. We should go!

Count: What already?

The Countess and the Count flee in opposite directions

Figaro: Now it’s quiet. The traitors are gone. I’ll soon show them what’s what.

Suzanna: Figaro, be quiet!

Figaro: Wait is that my wife disguised as the Countess? That must mean the person meeting the Count is actually Rosina! My wife is so much more clever than I give her credit for. Buuuuut she also deserves to be punished because she tricked me. *he throws himself at Suzanna’s feet* Dear Countess, now that we are alone, I can finally confess my love to you!

Suzanna: *hitting him with her fan* OMG HOW DARE YOU FAITHLESS HUSBAND TAKE THAT AND THAT I HATE YOU

Figaro: Honeyyyyyyy I knew it was you, I recognized your voice.

Suzanna: Oh shit sorry

Figaro: Now let’s continue the ploy and make the Count furious!

The Count comes back and sees them

Count: OMG WHAT IS GOING ON FIGARO IS MAKING ADVANCES ON MY WIFE WHAT A TRAITOR NOT LIKE I WAS JUST DOING THE EXACT SAME THING TO HIM WITH SUZANNA

Figaro and Suzanna: Oh no! The jig is up! *they run into the arbor*

Count: FIRE POLICE AMBULANCE SOMEBODY HELP I’M GOING TO KILL THIS GUY

Basilio, Bartolo, Antonio, and also Curzio for some reason all come in

All of them: WHAT’S ALL THE RACKET

Count: THEY’RE IN THE ARBOR GET THEM *Figaro, Suzanna, Cherubino, and Barbarina all run out of the arbor* wtf how many people are hiding in here

Figaro, Suzanna, Cherubino, Barbarina: Please don’t hurt us, sir, ‘twas all in good fun.

Count: Nope I’ve been humiliated y’all are in so much trouble

The Countess enters; she and Suzanna take off their disguises so everyone can see

Countess: Well, I’m the Countess, so I can grant them pardon.

Count: Omg this is the cherry on top of the sundae, I’m so ashamed and totally learned my lesson. Please forgive me.

Countess: I forgive you, dear, because I’m a softy and also kind of naïve and I’m sure this apology actually means something even though you’ve said sorry about a million times and never changed.

All: What a great moment, everyone’s reconciling and we’ll all live happily ever after. Even after all these tricks and trials love will always win out. No let’s all go party again even though it’s probably like midnight right now.

Everyone leaves to go to the party.

Fin

#le nozze di figaro #the marriage of figaro #opera tag #abbreviated operas #opera summarized #notyouraveragejulie

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seriefic · 5 years ago

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Chance (IV)

Summary: Your arrival to Kattegat had more surprises than you could have expected

A/N: English is not my first language and there will be a few more chapters, enjoy.

Tagging: @youbloodymadgenius

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6

It was a gray day, the sky was full of clouds and the atmosphere invaded by a strong smell of rain, your favorite kind of day, it didn't take long to see the city with its port full of boats and busy people coming from one place to another. Finding your brothers wasn´t difficult, you found them at the entrance of the small town mounted on their horses, ready to go looking for you again.

-We thought you werw dead-Eritz shouted while running into you, you were glad to see him, you could say he was your favorite brother, always smiling and nice to everyone.

-I'm not dead but I'm exhausted-you said hugging each of your brothers who seemed to have taken a great weight off

-What happened to your hair? - Ales asked touching the tips of the hair on your shoulders.

-It was cut during a fight.

-We found your dead horse full of arrows, but there were also some things that were not yours.

You froze for a moment looking at Eritz, your older brother, he was next to you while Ales was ahead of you, leading the way and his voice sounded cold, he had always been like that, while Eritz always spoiled you Ales only tried to find the minimum mistake to expose it to the world and always talked and acted as if he knew everything you did, always.

-I met a wanderer who helped me.

-Can we meet the hero who has saved my sister?- Eritz asked jokingly and you laughed.

-I can save myself

-I don´t doubt it

-When are we going to continue our travel?-You were tired of spending your days riding, camping and moving from one place to another without knowing exactly where you were going.

-We´re already where we should be.

-What do you mean?

-You never listen

-Ales shut up, we never told her where we were going neither the name of her fiance

You gave your brother a smile that said "I won" and he turned and came back to the front, the rest of the short road was flooded by Eritz's anecdotes, who always made an effort to lessen the tension between you and your brother.

-I think you´ll like your husband, he is a handsome man and quite nice, his brothers too.

-I think our dear older brother should tell you who is his favorite.

Eritz showed a wide smile of satisfaction and greatness and you looked at him without understanding anything.

- Have you slept with any of the princes? - You asked opening your eyes like plates and shaking your head

-Maybe

-Whenever you do those things we have problems, keep your dick in your pants until you go back home.

-She´s right-rarely, Ales agreed with you- we always have problems because of your crotch.

Eritz ignored all your criticisms and just laughed at them and mocked you, you admired your brother for his ability to ignore what others thought of him and all his actions, although sometimes that had negative parts, like ignoring any advice.

You arrived to the center of Kattegat to the home of the king and the princes, your brothers guided you inside where you found an incredibly beautiful woman, you had never seen such a beauty and you assumed she had to be the queen.

-You must be the princess (YN) - She said taking your hand and talking to you directly -I am Queen Aslaug

You smiled and turned red, you felt ashamed to be in front of that woman with your shabby clothes.

-It´s a pleasure to meet you my queen, I am very sorry that my arrival has been delayed and I´m sorry for my appearance.

-Don't worry, right now the maids will take care of washing and changing you, then at diner, you will meet my sons and your fiancé.-she gestured with her hand and two young girls approached you and took you with them.

You quickly found yourself in a hot tub, with new clothes in front of you and two girls combing your hair, little images from the previous night sneaked into your mind, you couldn't believe that you really would have done that with a stranger but you didn´t regret it at all.

The maids were well dressed, combed and seemed to be in perfect physical and mood conditions, that always said a lot about how the families they worked for were.

What's your name? -You asked the girl closest to you

-Margrethe

-Margrethe can you tell me how the princes are? are they friendly?

-Yes, almost everyone is friendly most of the time, you don't have to worry.

-In addition they are very handsome-laughed the girl on the other side and you couldn´t help smiling at the dreamy tone with which she had said it.

-And strong warriors

The girls continued talking and giggling about some anecdotes of the princes until a slightly older woman came in the door.

-My princess, you must get out of the water, they are waiting for dinner. You smiled at the woman and followed her orders, without objecting to be helped to dress even if you usually did it alone, it was a light purple dress with small white details, accompanied by earrings and a necklace of the same color as the details.

You were nervous, it was impossible to deny or avoid it, you were going to meet your future husband and the family that you would live from that moment on, you couldn't help it. When you crossed the door and reached the grand hall the first person you saw was the queen who smiled at you warmly, then your brothers and finally three young men who watched you without saying a word, you knew that one of them was your fiance.

The oldest of the three approached and took your hand in his, you looked at him nervously and smiled while he left a kiss on your cheek and finally spoke- Nice to meet you my future wife, I'm Ubbe Lorthbrok, son of Ragnar Lothbrok and prince of Kattegat

-It's nice to meet you Ubbe, I'm the princess (YN)

You stared at each other for a while, in silence, Ubbe was incredibly handsome but you didn't feel any kind of spark or crush, what you thought you should feel in that moment, When you arrived at the dinner table you could see that there was an empty place and that it stayed like that all the night, Ubbe didn´t give you much conversation, he was more interested in Margrethe and it was normal but you still felt a little offended, your brothers talked to the queen about the deal derived from your marriage and the other two brothers argued, in conclusion, you were bored .

-Who sits there? -You asked pointing to the empty chair.

-Our brother-Ubbe responded quickly before some of the other boys could do it but still Sigurd spoke

-He hasn't come to dinner because he thinks weddings are stupid, the truth is that he's probably jealous because nobody loves him.

-Sigurd-Shouted his mother to shut up and this downplayed his hand.

You looked at him for a few moments until he got unconfortable, then at your brother who was drinking from his cup, looking at both of you, the boy was cute and seemed not to know how to shut up, just the type of guy for wich your brother always got into messes, wherever there was a cute boy or girl unable to shut up, there will be Eritz.

-Tell me (YN) what happened to your hair? they had told me it was very long- The queen asked, clearly trying to dismiss his son's comment.

-While I was lost I found a wanderer who showed me the way and attacked us, in the middle of the fight he cut my hair to save me, but I think he didn't like my hair very much and that's why he cut it- you said laughing and remembering how annoyed there was Ivar been when you made him wait to comb your hair.

-You are still pretty with short hair.

-Thank you Ubbe

When dinner was over Ubbe took you by the hand and asked you to accompany him, Eritz patted him on the back cheering him up and making you die of shame and Ales remained serious and his only words were "don't do anything stupid" when you were about to leave outside a man on crutches entered the room, you looked at him and you knew immediately who he was, his appearance had changed a bit, just like you were wearing clean clothes, he was clean, had taken a bath and wore new clothes. Ivar had not seen you yet, he was heading straight for the queen.

-Mother, if you have finished this stupid dinner, can I have mine?

-Ivar, your brother's fiancee is here, be kind.

That was when he turned to you and you probably both had the same expression of surprise because Ubbe asked if you were feeling good and Asalug said the same to his son.

He approached you and looked you up and down very seriously and then looked at his brother who seemed somewhat uncomfortable with the direct attention of his brother, Ivar smiled, a smile of self-realization

-So this is the woman you're going to marry- he took a strand of hair between his fingers and played with it, you did nothing,only closed your eyes waiting for that situation to end quickly, you felt your heart racing, you were scared, embarrassed, ashamed. Ubbe moved his brother's hand away from you quickly, causing the laughter of the youngest.

-Yes, and I don't want you to touch her.

-She´s afraid, you scared her - Sigurd said laughing and that made you open your eyes to meet those of Ivar and you could see the bitterness in them, all his playful and mocking way had disappeared

-I'm not afraid, I was only surprised -You contradicted him by taking the situation seriously -Nice to meet you, I'm princess (YN)

Ivar looked at you for a few more seconds and turned around to disappear again.

Although the place where Ubbe had taken you was beautiful and he was very handsome and kind you were unable to concentrate on the landscape or him, your head was on Ivar and how bad you felt.

What would happen if Ubbe found out what had happened between you? Could you live in the same house as Ivar while you were married to his brother? and even more important, you had the need to go after the man with deep blue eyes and apologize, although you didn't know exactly why.

#ivar x reader #Ivar #ivar the boneless #Vikings #ivar lothbrok #ivar ragnarson #Ivar x OC #ubbe #imagine #scenario

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stylessemantics · 7 years ago

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A LETTER ABOUT HATING MYSELF AND SELF IMAGE/LOVE

I don’t like myself... I really don’t.

Dear y’all, please read this?

I was tagged by the ever so wonderful and talented @stylesdimplefeelings to do the 9 selfie challenge a while back, and after a lot of thought, well... Here are 9 random selfies (from oldest to newest lol) that were taken throughout 2017.

The debate in my head, if anyone even cares about it, was that I didn’t know whether I should expose my face or not specially cause if you know me, you know this is the first thing I promised myself not to do because I wasn’t comfortable with it.

I thought about doing this and then I told myself ‘I guess at some point I can and will delete that post’ which then got me thinking ‘I’d also need to tell people not to reblog this so I can make it disappear whenever I want to’ and I started overthinking this and freaking out and making it so much more complicated, and that’s exactly why I’m posting it. Also Reblog whatever the hell you want its your blog!

I have spent a great part of my life thinking I’m a worthless, fat, ugly, piece of shit, and to some point I still think I am. But then I thought, Iv, we didn’t spend a big chunk of 2017 fighting to improve how you see yourself and trying to battle through tears every other night to find an ounce of self love, for you not to feel decent and ok enough with posting some selfies once, and getting it over with. You can hate those selfies all you want, but we don’t have scars to prove we’re battling for nothing, ok?

And so I selected some snapchat selfies (because duh) I’m now sharing with you, fully aware of the hate I can receive because of these, or judgement, and I’m actually afraid some other people that won’t post their face as well as I said I wouldn't, that I’ve grown to call friends will think lowly of me now that I’ve broken this rule or something. I’m actually scared some friends will be like “omg you said you never would, and you did, fuck you” and I don’t know how I’ll deal with that but I guess I had to do this for myself, so I’m sorry in advance, please don’t hate me.

I’m not gonna go around posting selfies every day or being any less private about the rest of me. I guess I just needed a punch that reminded me I’m doing something to feel better about myself, even when the improvement ins’t much, there’s some. And I didn’t think about 2018 being a better year and MAKING it a better year, for me to just shy into stupid self hate the same way it’s been these past 15 years. I’m already drowning in it enough, and trying to swim upwards.

I never posted selfies cause I wasn’t comfortable with it, With me and being myself, in my own skin. That’s what I’m trying to be. I want to like myself, even if it’s just a bit, even if it takes me ages. Cause I’m so tired of hating myself. It won’t go away from night to morning, but maybe I can take it to a level I can cope with.

AFTER ALL THIS RANT I WILL BE TAGGING PEOPLE, EXCEPT NOT TO JUST POST SELFIES: But to open up and tell me something about themselves they’ve overcome, or trying to like me, no matter how silly, whatever you’re comfortable with sharing, so we can all see the small scar that means we’ve battled :) And if you want to add selfie to that by ALL MEANS DO CAUSE I LIKE SEEING PRETTY PEOPLE ON MY DASH!!!

So yeah. What have you overcome or trying to face and beat?

@stylesdimplefeelings @stylesunchained @permanentcross @legend-waitforit-harry @inwhichitrytowritesomething @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy @honeyskins @roselirry @icanseeyourholo @harrycarryme @narrymccartney @stylesinthewild @trulymadlysydney @canistay-haz @babymyharry @babyhoneyed @ihearthemcallingxx @jawllines @makehaddyproud @cheshirepuddin @looselucy

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fraysbanes · 4 years ago

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such sweet sorrow

Characters: Clary-centric

Relationships: Clary Fray & Simon Lewis, Clary Fray & Isabelle Lightwood, Clary Fray & Magnus Bane, Clary Fray & Luke Garroway, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood, Clary Fray & Maryse Lightwood, Clary Fray/Jace Wayland (mostly implied), Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (mentioned), Luke Garroway/Maryse Lightwood (mentioned)

Rating: G

Summary: She writes eight letters.

I. JACE

Dear Jace,

By the time you read this letter, my memories of you and the Shadow World will be gone.

It was the price the angels made me pay for the runes I’ve created.

And even if I don’t remember you, you will always be in my heart.

Love,

Clary

II. SIMON

Dear Simon,

I love you. I’m going to miss you. I wish we had more time.

Love,

Your Clary, always

III. ISABELLE

Dearest Isabelle,

But that’s no longer a possibility, seeing as by the end of the night, I won’t remember you or this life. Apparently Raziel doesn’t approve of my rune mixing angel and demon blood.

I know. I want to be angry too. But I killed my brother this morning and my runes are already disappearing. There isn’t a lot of fight left in me.

Give ‘em hell on my behalf, won’t you?

Love,

Clary

IV. MAGNUS

Dear Magnus,

With love,

Biscuit

V. ALEC

Dear Alec,

Love,

Clary

VI. MAIA

Dear Maia,

On the off-chance that you do, in fact, still like me, here is my heartfelt farewell letter:

I don’t know if the others told you, or if you even want to hear, but tonight is my last night in the Shadow World. By tomorrow, I won’t remember any of this, and I won’t remember any of you.

(Also, Simon’s an idiot for letting you go.)

Sincerely (hoping this wasn’t too weird),

Clary

VII. MARYSE

Dear Maryse,

Especially because right now, I could really use a mom.

-Clary

VIII. LUKE

Dad,

And this: I don’t know what’s going to happen now.

And maybe be a little proud of me? I’m trying very hard not to let anyone down today.

Love,

Clary

IX. UNWRITTEN

Dear Clary,

You’re going to be okay.

#canon compliant #angst #goodbyes #c: clary #r: clary & simon #r: clary & izzy #r: clary & luke #r: clary & magnus #r: clary & alec #r: clary & maia #r: clary & maryse #r: clace

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braindamageforbeginners · 7 years ago

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Day 36, Radiation 24, Serum Infusion 5 (sort of)

I realize that I tend to be discursive and verbose (in writing, anyway, I’m a surprisingly quiet person in real life); HOWEVER, dear reader, if the potential walls of text seem intimidating, let me just say, I cover a helluva lot of ground in this one. Benchmarks shall be reached; insights had; exhilarating heights and terrifying lows reached. Or, yesterday marked an important date, I had some critical insights to surviving deadly diseases (

So; yesterday marked the final initial serum infusion (I know that sounds like I’m a demented time traveler; hang with me). The “initial” treatment period for GBM - usually agreed as the “critical” treatment period - is a six-week course of 42 days of chemotherapy, 30 radiation doses (you get weekends off), and, in my case, five injections of Abraham Erskine’s Special Sauce. This is followed by a 20-30 day vacation - of sorts, followed by a year of on-again-off-again chemo (and, in my case, added bacon bits to Dr. Erskine’s elixer). That’s if everything goes well. If the radiotherapy (which is the very best that every single physician I consulted with recommended) isn’t as effective as predicted/hoped; you can start planning on what requests you’ll make for Tom Petty and Whitney Houston. I mean, there are some things they can do to forestall the disease, manage symptoms, etc. but that’s pretty the cancellation notice on a TV series you were watching. Again, I am amazingly horrified, upset, and angry that my life expectancy and potential is dependent upon which artificial rogue proton hit which carbon ring in an alien invader in my brain. And I’m going to be getting sentenced (as it were), in a month, and a helluva lot will be due to random chance. And healthy people would see this whole thing that the end is in sight, and thus begins a new stage of life (here’s a teachable moment, healthy folks; if you have a friend with a progressive disease, the stages are that they get worse until they die; new stage of life is that they get to skip some stages). So, yeah, after a year of awful news, it feels rather less that the parole board is convening, and much more that the Roulette Wheel is spinning. And I suppose the secret to doing this thing with grace and courage (which, again, I have no intention of doing; I was born a miserable misanthrope) is figuring out how to maximize those spins before the cashier collects. But, that is still a full month off, there are still positive (and negative) possibilities in play, and we shall leave the dark Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come for the rest of the post in favor of me (I suppose I’d be the Ghost of Christmas That one Time Dad Accidentally Misplaced and Mislabeled Everyone’s Gifts, So the Day Ended in a Really Stupid Series of Arguments)(I mean, I love the Christmas Carol, but I think we can all agree that I’m much more in the vein of idiotic-yet-funny family history stories we use to scare Grandma into silence)(Again, ladies, I am single).

So, we start events bright and early yesterday with me getting my blood drawn. Which always sucks, but I have learned a few tricks over the years (holding the phlebotomist’s family hostage in case they have to stab you more than three times isn’t as effective as you’d think). I have really hard-to-find veins; they’re small, you can’t see them, and they clench up and hide well after a bad attempt. But, I now have the patter down to a fine art, and most decent nurses and phlebotomists can do it by the second try (the record number of attempts, for anyone keeping score, was an MRI tech in NoCal - this was back in the days when techs were allowed to inject dyes into patients on their own; the rules have since changed). The vampire tech in question got me on the first time, and, then installing the IV, accidentally spritzed me with my own life essence. In all fairness, I’ve suffered worse the last time I spilled a drink, in terms of liquid exposure. And, because it’s me, it’s not even the first or second time I’ve been drenched in my own blood - it might be the third or fourth time, I’d have go back and tally them up (and, although “drench” is far too strong a verb in this instance, it wasn’t strong enough to capture the previous occasions)(I desperately wish I was making this up). Now, this wasn’t terribly painful, or, as it turns out, even very inconvenient - thankfully, there’s some mega-methanol fabric cleaner on hand (I don’t know why this surprised me; I’ve had a semi-permanent place in the hospital system since before I could vote) - which is fortunate, because the constabulary takes a dim view of grown men with blood stains on their crotches (that wasn’t some sort of design on my part, it was just a weird - albeit amusing - outcome of the angles and pressures involved. Anyway, after securing the IV in place, and making me presentable for a court appearance, the Vampire Tech (and this isn’t a slam on her, or anything; it’s just that the job of drawing blood and installing IVs is done by - according to my count - nurses, phlebotomists, technicians, nurses in training, training phlebotomist technicians - you get the idea; there’s 45 possible job titles for the person sticking me with an 18 gage needle)(crucial tidbit for future patients; 20-22 gage needles are about the smallest they’ll use on an adult, and, if you have a documented history of hard-to-find veins, you might want to consider asking for one of those) apologized to me for the mishap; I reciprocated, and she mentioned that she’d used a slightly smaller needle than she thought and moved a little faster, based on my description. She then mentioned - and I do hope you are sitting - that I have really, really big veins, they’re just a bit hard to find.

THE BETRAYAL. ALL IS LIES. You have to understand, folks, I’ve been told that I have small, hard-to-find, hard-to-poke veins, and, all this time, I have mid-grade kitchen pipes. I have to believe - because I’ve had my blood drawn more often than Lance Armstrong in the last sixteen years - that someone would’ve mentioned that my veins are fine, they’re just invisible and not where you expect them, and I forgot. That would be bad, and upsetting, but I would’ve liked to have thought that someone would’ve noticed and mentioned it a second or third time. Of course, I also did down two liters of water a half-hour before the blood draw, so it’s possible my venous system is more aggressively reactionary than Southern politics (drinking a lot of water right before a blood draw a well-known, very effective way to make the phlebotomist’s job easier), and this poor woman underestimated.

So, fast-forward 1400 years to me, in the chemo seat (which is supposed to be comfortable, but it’s amazing how unpleasant impersonal barcaloungers are when you have a tube in your arm, and you daren’t jiggle it lest you get billed for someone’s dry-cleaning bill), getting grilled by Research Coordinator, about assorted side-effects (that’s what they’re testing me for, remember), and he mentions that I’ve already reached the maximum recommended dose and tolerated it well, so I’m probably at my maximal side effects, super-soldier wise. Which makes me feel good, because, even though my arm and shoulder hurt like a sumbitch the next day and I have vague flu-like symptoms, if this is as bad as it gets, experimental drug-wise, it’s pretty tolerable (I mean, depending on how things shake-out, if this is a bimonthly, standard dose, I’ll ask them about some sort of stronger pain-killer or something, because this is extremely unpleasant, but, if this is the price of another decade or two, it’s doable)(even with horrible, horrible Gatorade). Which made me feel all Captain American-y for a brief moment and shine a bit of hope on the darkness. Research Coordinator also mentioned that, even though you only get one radiation treatment per lifetime, if I beat this thing the first time and it comes back, he and the Warlocks are already working on potential treatment plans, trials, and virgin sacrifices to keep me alive. Folks, I’m going to use some strong language here, but, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, this is why, if you have a serious illness, do not fuck around with the folks at the local health-mart; go directly to the best. I’m still scared as hell that the radiation won’t take hold and/or this tumor will kill me, but I do feel like, if I can beat this one, I might have something like a normal life expectancy. That might just be the bargaining part stage of grief, though, and it does kind of require me to survive the next several months, which is far from guaranteed. to say the least. HOWEVER, Research Coordinator did assure me that, win, lose, or draw, I’d be getting a few weeks off from Gatorade (I’ll discuss this in further detail later, because it’s not exactly what it sounds like). My major complaint about that interaction is that they skimped on the budget and didn’t get Stanley Tucci to do the interview.

I also had a fascinating conversation with a chemo nurse who was double checking assorted side-effects, prescriptions, patient history, what-have-you. The following conversation has been condensed and slightly edited. NURSE: So, no nausea or vomiting? SELF: Not yet. NURSE: And you’re still on zofran? SELF: Uh, yeah, although i was queasy after the second infusion, so Research Coordinator suggested I double the dosage. But that’s in all the history, and it’s factored in to all of my prescriptions and stuff, as far as I can tell. NURSE (suspiciously): And you’ve never skipped a dose or cut back? SELF: Ma’am, it makes physically bearable and keeps me from puking. Why would I feel the need to experiment with that? NURSE: Oh, you’d be surprised. SELF: Look, if I get all my dreams and die at age 90 in excellent health; I want to be buried with a full bottle of zofran in case I need it.

Eventually, I did get to make it to another part of Socal, because Mother Dearest and the dog decided to visit me. Again, I’m going to be vague in an attempt to preserve some sort of anonymity (if not on my part, at least my dog’s); but we were able to coordinate this because I found a pet-friendly hotel in a part of town half-way between home and the hospital - as opposed to the really nice, but really expensive resort town. I’m now ready to call it quits with the resort area - it was quieter, friendlier, cheaper, and more personal. There’s less to do there, but people actually talked to me (or they talked to my dog, which I think is close enough). Everyone I talked to at this neighborhood was friendly - like, the meanest response of the night is from me, when a baker came out from behind the counter to hug my dog and I kind of winced, because that doesn’t seem very hygienic. But the croissants were amazing (like, worth dog-germ-risk to a technically-immunocompromised person amazing). And I got to celebrate the serum-sorta-completion-almost date the way American Jesus intended: with steak tartare, near-raw burgers, (it could be laden with tuberculosis, but, screw it, I got zofran, I’m not gonna puke), and double-helpings of beer (and, to those of you who don’t know me, few people like microbrew more than I do). It was a delightsomeful, memorable evening. I’m sure she meant it as a compliment, but Mother Dearest expressed far more wit in a single observation than the entire Trump administration: “You’ve become a much more interesting diner since you gave up that heart-health thing.”

And I sort-of slept. Maybe. A few hours. I will say this about the horrible super-soldier serum; it does produce the most amazingly life-like dreams I’ve ever experienced. Yes, I know they’re not technically hallucinations, but, you people didn’t attend the Super Bowl last night. Admittedly, that’s s a really weird, specific, helluva strange object for my focus (I give less thought to the NFL than I do to alfalfa profit margins)(not that either takes up much brain space). It felt like I was there, just like the last hyper-realistic post-injection dream. Which was weird and cool, and, certainly one of the more intriguing side-effects. Which led to a nastier, far-too-frequent side-effect; my arm feeling like it was trying to disattach itself from my frame. Fortunately, after last time, I knew exactly what to; go directly to Tylenol and Gatorade, which made things tolerable. Or as tolerable as Gatorade-based mornings can be. It did occur to me that, if I can’t be Captain America, maybe my right arm can grow and mutate and turn into some sort of really cool/scary demon-hand, like Hellboy. Which would enable me to punch through the flimsy walls of this universe to Hell itself, so that I could track down the inventor of Gatorade, and give him a well-earned thrashing (I know I’m an agnostic, but one thing I am absolutely theologically certain of; the creator of Gatorade is in Hell).

And, as I was musing - like you do, when you’re waiting for superpowers - I recalled the nurse saying that people just experiment and go off zofran (again, kids, if Santa Claus ever brings you zofran, you write a thank-you note immediately). This kind of coincided with another revelation, and I do apologize if it’ll take some time to connect the two, because they make a very important point for everyone planning on surviving cancer. I was packing up the dog’s stuff (specifically, his bowl and bag of food), and thought I’d just pour the leftover food into the bag on the porch/parking-lot area - food’s gonna spill, after all; if it happens out there, some lucky squirrel can deal with it. Mom immediately stopped me so that she could do the exact same thing in the sink area. Depositing dog food all over the sink, and turning a two-minute task into a five-minute cleaning job; without any apparent gain apart from cleaning kibble out of the sink. Now, because it’s Mother Dearest, I’m sure I’ll get some note about how I’m wrong and efficiency and cleanliness are overrated. What occurred to me is that it was a minor case of someone exercising some form of agency merely because they could.

And I get that; I really do. I organize my bookshelves, keep a highly regimented gym schedule, etc. And it suddenly occurred to me, based on this thought (and the chemo nurse’s statement that people stop taking zofran just because), there has to be a chunk of the populace that goes off doctor’s orders or refuses care or whatever for a variety of reasons. That’s all old news; I was an EMT, I’ve seen stupid shit you couldn’t even begin to believe. BUT, the heartening part of it - for me, anyway - is that I have, since Day 1 (since before then, actually), religiously followed doctor’s orders and suggestions (for the most part; I still shave, eat raw foods, and train in the gym; but I’ve never missed an appointment, prescription, dosage, or medical exam, and I’ve never lied to my physicians when questioned). Now, I realize that I have a dangerous disease that isn’t well-understood or have a terribly predictable outcome; but, it is worth noting that, every time I tell some medical professional I’ve lived with this disease (or chronic brain tumors, anyway) for 16 years, I get the exact same reaction as if I’d told them I went to school with Archimedes. I am, apparently, in the world of cancer, patients, nigh-vampire-unkillable. Which is pretty cool and makes me feel good, but, for everyone who wants to learn that secret, well, it’s pretty simple.

You want to go to the very best doctors. You want to figure out the best treatment plan for you; the one that offers the most chance of success. HOWEVER, once you have those things; you follow the rules and stick to the treatment plan like your life depends on it, because it does. I have no idea whether this is going to work, or what my life expectancy will be, but I am near-certain that if I decided to screw around with things, I will have a very grim future.

In figuring out an appropriate ending metaphor for all of this - and the importance of sticking to the medical plan in a world filled with changing variables and crises - I hit upon China Mieville’s book, “Kraken.” It’s an odd urban fantasy that prominently features a cult that worships giant squid as deities (it’s not the dumbest religion I’ve ever heard of). However, there is a minor plot point about the cult’s version of chess - “Kraken Chess,” which is just like our chess, except it features a piece called the Kraken (because of course it does). The Kraken piece is the most powerful piece on the board, because it can - like the queen - move any number of squares in any direction; however, the Kraken piece can also not move at all. It just forfeits a turn.

Folks, as you navigate a dangerous disease, there will be many, many periods where you don’t see any real results, there is no end in sight (or, as the case may be, the visible ends tend to look scary). I will work tirelessly to figure out some sort of coping strategy for all that - believe me, a large part of my life is centered on that, right now. All I can say is, don’t exert agency when none is needed, especially if that comes in the form of skipping your zofran. Sometimes, you must be the kraken; silent, beaked, still, and waiting for the opportunity to kill Sam Worthington.

I mean, uh, take your meds, follow the doctor’s directions, and don’t miss your appointments.

At the moment, I’m back home, waiting for my next appointment (it’s in a few hours);everything’s as close to normal as it can be. I’ve finished up all my administrative health lackey duties, so all bills that can be paid, prescriptions that can be renewed, appointments that can be made, etc. have been scheduled, and I can’t do anything for a few hours. Which is almost a relaxing feeling. I might go sit in the yard with a book and try and get in touch with my inner squid. Sometimes that’s the best you can do.

Folks, I do apologize if that was a bit lengthy and choppy; I had to write it exceedingly fast because I took a day off and there was a lot to attend to while I wrote. So, sorry if it’s a little disjarring; I can do better than that, I just didn’t have the time (and parts of it were written while I was still a little loopy from Captain America serum). The good news - sort of - is that there’s still a lot of things on the cutting-room floor that I’ll be revisiting in short-order. You’d best believe I’m going to revisit that kraken metaphor very soon, I have dark plans for the importance of vomiting on people (sort of), and why we, as a species, might be okay in the end.

#Cancer #brain tumor

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missbbjean · 7 years ago

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Dear You

You said you liked me, you would constantly say it at the most random of times or that you missed me a girl you have never meant before and how could you possible miss me? but then you explained that you missed hearing my voice, it was relaxing to hear and being able to talk to someone tell them about your day and what bothered you and having that someone not reinsure you of anything but just be there to listen with no judgment. I felt so happy like an idiot for being able to hear that and for being that person for you to talk to but you were also that person for me. For 2 years we talked one year over the comment section of each others pictures on IG and here and there over the DMs of IG then in early 2016 we talked almost everyday over the DMs on IG and then in late February you gave me your number we talked from then on texting and calling. Somewhere around March you already said you wanted to meet but i told you how impossible that was giving the distance between us but in December last year you brought up buying my plane ticket i told you how bad id feel about that because i know it wouldnt be cheap, you didnt bring it up again after that till sometime of this year in February and i wanted to meet you so bad that i agreed to it. So we planed for March but as time got closer for me to go to where you are there was still no message about a plane ticket i grew worried and upset and you never answered my calls or texts. It was the day i was supposed to go down there and nothing nothing from you i cried to my mom for hours so upset, 23 day pass its april now and i get a DM from you over IG like you couldnt really text or call you had to DM over IG like wtf but we talked about it and i shouldve brought up my concerns and what bothered me but i didnt because i didn want to fight i didnt want to argue and like you said "its not like we're together so who am i to say whats you can and cant do" you said you liked me and that you wouldnt mind pursuing more but not with out some sort of proof that i was interested in just you and not multiple people, my proof was facing my biggest fear just for you but i guess that wasn’t proof enough and everything before or after wasn’t either. you then said "again were not together but i dont think youre that interested in me if youre openly giving everyone the same attention " but we talked some more and we had things figures out but i shouldve brought up the fact that you were doing the same giving the same open attention to many other girls, i on the other was not giving that attention like you said i was it was just some 19yr old that left comments on my pictures and my only responses back were ever " thank you, lol, okay or hahah" but yours on girls pictures were stupid kissy heart eye emojis and comments like "damn girl look at you, so beautiful, so pretty, hot" and the list goes on but i bit my tongue because like you said we weren't together and i didnt want to seem i dont know possessive, i know now i shouldve spoke up. but you called the next day asking if we could start where we left off of and i asked with us talking or me coming down there and you said with me coming down there and that same night you bought the plane ticket and everything, there really was no going back and i was so excited that i couldnt sleep at all. I thought finally im going to meet this guy whos been nothing but nice and sweet to me, who ive had nothing but great conversations with where i could just be 100% me. but throughout all of april you still continued with commenting things on other girls pictures again i didnt want to start a fight before i came down there and i had planed to say something well i was there but i didnt want to start something because well id have no wheres to go and lord knows i have anger issues. We spend 4 days together i became sure that yeah i really like this person and maybe even love a little. but when i came home everything fell apart. 2 days go bye and i dont hear from you not even a single text but yet you're on social media multiple times throughout the day and commenting dumb shit AGAIN on girls pictures. we talk on saturday and i bring it up finally and you ask why it was an issue with the 19 yr old commenting what he did on my pictures and you said well its obvious and i said no tell me and you asked why and i said tell me why it was an issue and you said well because I LIKE YOU. so i said if you like me so much why are you commenting dumb shit on girls pictures over IG and you asked "who like you really dont know and i dont remember usernames and your excuse was "well the reason i was asking who is because its probably a client"and i asked "really come on now" and you continue with "well its my job their my client its my job to make them feel pretty or beautiful"like yeah thats youre job when their in you chair not for you to do over social media and like really is it normal for you to comment on your clients half naked pictures?? come on now get real. we end the conversation that night with you saying that wed talk about it more but we never did. sunday goes bye and monday comes around i didnt hear from you but sometime during the day you unfollow me and i get confused more than ever. here you are or were telling me you like me and everything fly me down there to meet you spend that time together and for what what reason, what was the point! days go by i dont hear from you Thursday I tell you we need to talk something serious and you tried to make me feel stupid for it but you never called and you ignored my call we dont talk till Friday when i see you liking a whole bunch of these girls pictures on IG and i mean pictures from early 2016 and late 2015 like duuuude really and then i see theres a recent post from her and just so happened that in the video shes spinning around in a chair and i notice the background, its your room and then you walked in. I call you that night pissed off and you start off with a "hey!" like every things fine and dandy and continue to say "yeah sorry i havent talked to you in a while theres been a lot going on with work i ve been really busy and i could even lose my job" and i was like "oh so busy that yet you had time to be home during the day with a girl in your room" and again you go "well who" like as if you dont know just how many girls have you had over in your room since damn man. so i tell you the usuername because well this time i remembered it and you go "well let me look that up right now" like ohhhhhh COME ON! you know exactly who stop playing dumb and then you say "well we have mutual friends in common" i told you ones that havent ment her in person dont count and so you say "well my parents were home nothing happened" i told you i was there and your parents were home and shit happened so dont give me that and then its :well if it bothers you so much ill stop talking to her" i told you im not the kind of person who tells you who you can and can not talk to but it should be common sense of what your doing is going to bother me or piss me off because here you are or were telling me you like me and everything had me come down there and you sleep with me and all that and yet here you are doing this like really?!?! you say we'll talk about it but again we dont and im just left with more questions and im more upset and you clearly knew that you just didnt and dont care. Sunday i call and call and call because we have something to discuss we talk about it as much as we can and theres nothing that can be done about it that was clearly established. So again i bring up the other issues hoping to get those cleared up more and i ask what was the point of all this and where do i stand now but all you have to say is "well i just got home and i need to go inside ill talk to you more about this" an all i can say is "and then this happens, do you really get everything i just said do you understand" you said yes and i asked really because it seems like it just went right over your head and you said it didnt that we would talk about it. but guess what we never did and i never heard from you again. its been 2 months now since you ruined me and turned my world upside down. and im now wondering just how many other girls have you done this to, how sincere were you with all you said tome, did you even really like me or was i nothing more than a 4 day fuck?..you used me. and yet i cant forget any of it, i wish i could be like you and just forget it all and forget a person like they dont exist as if it never happened. but i cant and it hurts so much to know that i cant erase you from me or my memory and i just want to go back and never agree to it to meeting you not if i knew id end up hurt again after so many years of keeping myself shut up from the world of dating or feelings and i thought i could let down my guard and allow myself to fall again and to think that a guy i told all that to that knew of how i was treated before and everything to a guy who treated me like no other who took me on my first date and i know i shouldve listened to my family i shouldve seen the signs but i thought it would all be okay but i didnt just get a life lesson or burned in the "world of love" i got something far worse. and you continue on like every things fine...im upset with me and im most of all upset with how you handled this. you thought by ignoring or avoiding me that it will go away but it wont and youve only made it worse. I just dont understand why you couldnt be the adult that you so claim to be or to be a man and just fucking be vocal about things like i told you from the very start, why couldnt you just say something like "hey you know it was great meeting you but i dont like you like i thought i did" or something, you think by ignoring or avoiding someone and playing victim that people will get the hint or that it will solve everything but it wont and it doesnt it just makes you a coward and childish. and i cant believe that after everything youve done and put me through with how youve treated me that theres a part of me that still likes you when i should hate you with everything i am but unfortunately it takes more effort to hate then it does to like and you cant just go to hating someone with the snap of your finger it unfortunately doesnt work like that...trust me ive tried.

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snickerl · 8 years ago

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Elixir Vitae

AU fanfic set around the time of IWTB.

A/N: I've always loved Margaret Scully and hate Chris Carter for giving her just one single line in season 10.

Find previous chapters here: Chapter I / Chapter II / Chapter III

Chapter IV

Now that she knows who she is - she knows, she does not remember - Dr. Pratt sees no reason to keep her family away from her any longer. So I have Maggie and Bill Jr. with me today when I gently knock at the door to her room.

I tried to prepare her mother. I told her to brace herself for looking into a pair of unresponsive eyes, that it was possible Dana would not remember her own mother. Margaret Scully listened to me like she always listened to me when I was giving her the facts about her daughter’s medical condition. There were times I had to do it on a monthly basis almost. Her son, of course, not really a fan of mine, didn’t spare me anything. He told me for the umpteenth time that this was all my fault, that I messed up his sister’s life and brought so much sorrow upon his family in my pathetic pursuit of little green men that he’d like to see me rot in hell.

Before I open the door, I throw Maggie an encouraging look, avoiding Bill’s eyes.

“Hey, Scully, it’s me,” I greet her and the familiar words warm my soul. “Here’s someone who wants to see you.”

I argued with Dr. Pratt whether or not to tell her in advance that her folks would be coming. He deemed it wiser not to, hoping it would give her memory a boost. I’m not so sure about it but doctor’s orders are doctor’s orders, and he’s the specialist. Specialist in the field of amnesia that is, not in the mystery that is Dana Scully. In this field, I am the specialist, and I fear that if she becomes aware that she doesn’t even recognize her own mother, and chances are uncomfortably high she won’t, Dr. Pratt’s plan backfires and sends her into an even deeper state of hopelessness than she’s already in.

She turns around when she hears my voice and her face lightens up when she sees me. My heart jumps a little.

“Fox!” she cheers, and I can hear her mother gasp at the unfamiliar name coming out of her mouth.

I go over to her and place a quick peck on her cheek, the greeting ritual we’ve established ever since she found out we were married. Then I turn around to motion for Maggie and Bill, who are still glued to the threshold, to step into the room.

“Scully, I don’t want you to get fed up with me as your only visitor, so I brought you two new ones,” I try to take the pressure off the situation and ease the atmosphere a bit.

Her eyes wander from me to her mother and brother and my darkest forebodings are coming to fulfillment.

She looks at them, she looks at me, then back at them. When her eyes meet mine again, I see plain horror in them. She realizes that she’s supposed to know these people, probably understanding that the elderly woman looking at her so affectionately can’t be anyone but her mother and that the man, who’s of a similar age and has the same facial features as her, very probably is her brother. She silently pleads with me to help her out, and I silently curse myself for not having stood up to Dr. Pratt and his stupid idea of confronting her with her family unprepared.

I put my hand on the small of her back to let her feel I’m right there behind her before I tell her, “Scully, these are your mother Margaret and your older brother Bill.”

“Oh.”

Maggie is struggling to keep her composure. My heart aches for her. How many more times does this woman have to visit her daughter in a medical institution? How many more times does she have to fear for her daughter’s wellbeing?

“Dana, Sweetheart,” Maggie greets her.

“I’m sorry,” Scully only says. “I…I don’t…”

“It’s alright,” her mother soothes her, her voice so gentle, it’d put anyone at ease. “It’s perfectly alright, dear. You’re well, that’s all that matters right now. Can I give you hug?”

Scully briefly checks with me, and although it feels good to be her confidant, I am so sorry for Maggie who considers it advisable to ask her daughter for permission to hug her.

“Sure,” Scully says somewhat shyly.

Maggie closes the distance between them, cups Scully’s face with one hand, and looks at her with so much motherly love in her eyes, it makes my knees wobbly. She pulls her daughter to her chest and folds her arms around her. I’m sure she tried to prevent it, but a tear rolls down her cheek when she closes her eyes.

Scully’s initial stiff reaction, a clear sign that she’s overwhelmed by the situation, softens that much that in the end, she hugs her mother back.

“Please excuse an old woman’s soppiness,” Maggie says when she pulls back.

The Scully women are compassionate and empathetic; like mother, like daughter. Scully senses that the person in front of her loves her from the bottom of her heart, even though she doesn’t recognize her.

“That’s alright,” she says with a warm smile on her face and wipes the tear off Maggie’s cheek. “Mother? Mama, mommy, mom?”

“Mom,” Maggie sobs, “you call me mom.”

Bill Jr. groans.

“I’m really sorry to make you cry. Did Fox tell you about the amnesia?”

“Yes, he did. He said your memory will come back eventually, that we simply have to give it some time.”

“Hopefully, yes. It’s also called amnestic syndrome,” Scully replies, unable to shed her doctor’s skin.

Maggie takes both of Scully’s hands in hers and squeezes them tenderly.

“I will pray for you, Dana.”

“Thank you…mom.”

When her hands are released, Scully turns to Bill.

“And you are my brother?”

Bill clears his throat. “Uhm, yes. My name’s William, but I go by Bill. Bill Jr.,” he introduces himself awkwardly, before being asked what he used to be called by her.

Scully tilts her head and looks at me questioningly. “Our son isn’t the only William in our family?”

“Uh, no. There are quite a few Williams in our two families,” I supply.

Bill turns his head and throws angry daggers at me. “You told her about William? How could you?” he spits out.

“Bill! Please!” his mother intervenes sharply, and Scully explains, “I asked. Fox didn’t want to at first and he didn’t tell me really much. I know it’s a sad story. We agreed to talk about him some other time.”

“Tsk,” is all Bill has to say about it.

I can’t blame him for loathing me. I used to have a little sister myself and protected her the best I could. I failed once, and it has darkened my life forever.

Scully looks at me with a quizzical expression on her face. Her brother’s hostility is so apparent, she must feel it. She’s sensitive and hasn’t lost her observing skills and insight into the human nature just because she can’t recall who she is.

I shrug, trying to tell her non-verbally that I’d explain later. It’s her mother, the wonderful, warm-hearted, and good-natured Margaret Scully, who eases the tension in the room.

“Sweetheart…” she starts but then hesitates a second, “may I call you sweetheart?”

“Of course,” Scully answers, taking her mother’s hands in hers. “I may not recognize you, but I can read in your eyes that we have a strong connection. You look very worried, but there’s no need to be worried. I’m fine. I’m perfectly healthy except for having no access to certain parts of my brain. I just have to be patient until the memories come back.”

I have to give her kudos for trying to soothe her mother. What she just said is what the doctors keep telling her, and I know there are days she can no longer believe them. That she’s now assuaging her mother’s sorrow with the scenario spelt out for her like a mantra by the medical staff gives me hope that she’s still willing to believe that eventually, she’ll heal, that the bad days she’s having, the days filled with hopelessness and pessimism, are just part of the usual ups and downs every patient goes through during a serious illness. It was the same when she fought against her cancer, and she pulled through that one eventually. She’s going to pull through this as well.

She has to!

Maggie strokes Scully’s cheek in a comforting gesture and smiles at her so warmly for Scully’s heart to melt. It must be melting. Mine would. I was never looked at that compassionately by my mother. I wished I was.

“Remember you’re not alone, Dana. You have a family that loves you and cares about you immensely. Whenever you have the feeling you want me to be here, don’t hesitate to call. Please! Can you promise me to do that?”

Scully nods, visibly touched by her mother’s words.

“It’s like I told you when I found you here, Scully,” I interject. “Most certainly, people were looking for you. How could you ever believe you weren’t loved and sadly missed?”

Maggie throws me a gentle look and mouths a silent ‘thank you’. Bill is pacing the room, not even trying to hide how disgruntled he is. I feel he’s got something on the tip of his tongue he has difficulties keeping inside his mouth, and I bet it’s nothing very flattering for me. I don’t have to wait long for it to sputter out of him.

“If you had stopped dragging her into those ridiculous cases of yours, Mulder, like I asked you over and over again, none of this would’ve have happened and there would’ve been no need for you to tell her she had a family,” he pants, his contempt for me filling the entire room.

I’m not surprised. That’s exactly what I expected from him, although I hoped he’d be able to keep his dislike of me at bay for just this one afternoon. Not because I can’t take his accusations. I can. I’m so used to them I mostly just don’t listen, but for Scully, the unfriendly vibes between her brother and me must be somewhat disconcerting, and for that, I’m angry at him. In his sister’s interest, he could’ve bitten his tongue once. Just once.

“Bill,” Maggie says, in a conciliating tone this time, “it’s not Fox’s fault. He found Dana here, and for that, we should be grateful.”

Thankfulness is not a sentiment he’s willing to bestow on me, so he counters his mother’s generous words with a dismissive snort.

Scully’s eyes are flying back and forth between the three of us. I can imagine her discomfort at the exchange of these rather harsh and unfriendly remarks among us.

“Fox said you were my older brother, Bill. I take it we have at least one more, younger brother?”

“Yes,” Bill answers her, his face contorted. “Charlie. But he’s estranged. He’s the youngest of us four.”

As soon as the words have tumbled out of his mouth, I want to shake him for his insensitivity. He solved one mystery for Scully but simultaneously brought up two new ones.

“Four of us?” she hence asks.

As both Maggie and Bill fall silent, seemingly overwhelmed by the situation unfolding itself in front of us, I step in to answer the question.

“You’re number three in the line-up, Scully. Bill’s the first-born, then there’s your sister Melissa, you, and Charlie, the youngest.”

“I see. Charlie isn’t here because he’s estranged with the family, like you said, Bill, but what about Melissa? Why hasn’t she come with you? Don’t we get along well?”

I can see that Maggie is fighting with her emotions, trying badly to keep tears from forming in her eyes. As I don’t want Bill to spit out another inconsiderate explanation, I hurry to give Scully the information she deserves, mentally slapping myself in the face for having her go through this ordeal. I could’ve prepared her for this, sparing her having to cope with one painful detail about her family after another. If I hadn’t listened to Dr. Pratt, I would’ve told her the family story beforehand and mother and daughter could’ve used their time to bond instead of walking on eggshells around each other.

“You and Melissa got along very well, Scully. You weren’t apart much and shared a room as kids. The reason that she’s not here today is that she’s not around anymore. She died more than a decade ago in an accident.”

I know I’m bending the truth a little, but under no circumstances am I going to tell her now that her sister was shot in her apartment and that she herself had actually been the target.

“And my father is also dead, isn’t he?”

“Yes, dear,” Maggie answers this one. “We lost him in 1994. He was a Navy captain and called you Starbuck.”

Scully’s hearty chuckle fills the room, a rare and therefore uplifting sound but also a bit out of place at this particular moment.

“Starbuck, huh? And I guess I called him Ahab,” she says, still chuckling and looking at us innocently with a smile on her face, only to be stared at by three sets of flabbergasted eyes. The room has fallen so silent from one moment to the next, one would hear a needle drop to the floor. Maggie puts her hand over her mouth, but a startled gasp escapes anyway.

“What? It was a joke! I’ve been reading Moby Dick,” Scully explains, pointing to the bedside table where the mentioned book lies face up.

“Dana,” Maggie whispers, “you did indeed call your father Ahab. We all did. Was that a memory? Do you remember him? You had such a strong bond to your father, above all, it would be understandable for you to remember him.” Her voice is wavering a little.

“I d-don’t know,” Scully stammers. She frowns and one can literally see her racking her brain. Then, she shakes her head and casts her eyes down. “No, I don’t think it was a memory, more likely a coincidence because of what I read in the book.”

Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe not. Though I refuse to believe that it was a simple coincidence she picked Moby Dick from the clinic library. How high are the chances she’d choose exactly that particular copy out of a variety of hundreds of books? Not very! She was guided by something, and the same something let her make what she thought was a joke about her father’s nickname. What we’ve just seen is the first little step in the right direction.

I know it!

I feel a glint of hope flaring in my chest. And I’m relieved that Scully’s alleged joke has distracted everyone from Melissa’s absence.

Scully closes her eyes and massages her temples. This conversation has clearly taken its toll on her her.

I know that Maggie is sensitive enough to notice her daughter’s need for rest, but I’m not so sure about Bill, therefore I suggest, “I think we could all use a break. Why don’t we defer the rest of the family history to some other time?”

“Are you throwing us out, Mulder? Who do you think you are? Her guard?” Bill bellows.

I grit my teeth so hard to keep myself from replying something impolite, my jaws ache.

“No, I’m not. I’m just saying that it’s been a lot of information, and I want Scully to take her time to let it all sink in.”

“Oh! You want her to-” Bill launches into another verbal attack but is cut off by his mother.

“Bill! Fox is right, it’s been enough for today!” Maggie’s tone is so authoritative, even Bill gets that his mother does not tolerate any dissent in this matter. She shoots him a severe look, then continues, her worried eyes resting on her daughter’s face, “I hope we didn’t overwhelm you, sweetheart. I’d hate myself if we made you uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine. Thanks for coming and being so kind to me.”

Maggie’s can’t suppress a sob.

“You’re my daughter, Dana, I’d do everything for you.”

“I realize that, mom. Just…give me some time, okay?”

Maggie nods, pressing her lips together to keep another endearment from slipping out, I suppose.

My heart breaks seeing mother and daughter so much in distress, but I’m glad that the word 'mom’ rolling so effortlessly off Scully’s tongue had the capacity to ease Maggie’s emotional pain. A splinter of joy has lit up in her face when she heard her daughter call her mom and the troubled lines on her forehead have receded a little.

“All the time in the world,” Maggie whispers, “I’m just so happy to have you back.”

Her shoulders are trembling now and I’m afraid she’s about to break down.

Scully has the same feeling evidently because she takes a step toward her and slides her hands up and down both her mother’s arms a few times.

“I’m here, and I won’t go anywhere,” she assures her. “Fox is keeping an eye on me.”

I hear Bill huff somewhere behind me, but I don’t give a damn. What’s more important is Margaret Scully recomposing herself. Her eyes are radiant, her smile is genuine, and that’s enough for me to relax.

We arrange to meet again in about two weeks time. Scully promises to call her mother in the meantime to let her know how she’s doing. Maggie caresses Scully’s cheek and squeezes my hand when she says her goodbye. Bill smiles affectionately at his sister and hugs her but doesn’t deign to look at me on his way out. I couldn’t care less.

As soon as the door clicks shut behind them, Scully turns around, crosses her arms in front of her chest, and throws me a challenging look. She doesn’t need to phrase the question which I’m convinced is burning on her tongue.

“Your brother and I…we aren’t exactly best friends,” I tell her without beating about the bush.

“No kidding? I wouldn’t have noticed,” she replies, sarcasm inking her voice, “but why?”

Of course, I could write a book about my screwed up relationship with Bill Scully Jr., but I try to keep the story short. I don’t want to disturb her any further than she already is.

“You were my partner and I got you involved in some pretty dangerous cases, during the course of which you got hurt more than once and he blamed me for it.”

“Couldn’t I have asked for a transfer if I hadn’t wanted to remain your partner?”

“Yes.”

“But I didn’t.”

“No.”

It’s still a mystery to me and my greatest fortune that she stayed with me and the X-Files despite all the horrible things that happened to her in the wake of our work.

“So, I guess I accepted danger as part of my life, hence it wasn’t your fault I got hurt. My brother has no right to blame you for my decisions.”

I can’t believe she’s defending me. She hardly knows anything about the dynamics between us but she draws all the right conclusions. Either this is all so obvious and self-explaining, which I doubt, or her unprejudiced attitude and relentless aspiration for self-determination are so deeply rooted within her that they guide her even in her current state of lacking an understanding of who exactly she is.

One way or another, Bill only adds some extra pounds on my shoulders which are already loaded with the guilt I put there myself.

“He’s your older brother, Scully. Older brothers have to protect their little sisters. And in a way he’s right. If you had never met me…”

I can’t finish the sentence because the mere imagination that she never entered my life makes my stomach turn.

“I fell in love with you, so the relationship was satisfactory for both sides, I guess,” she says with a sheepish grin.

I’m glad she’s seeing it this way. I’m so relieved she’s gotten used to the idea that we’re lovers. She still doesn’t feel it, is still immune to the chemistry between us, but she embraces the concept. The scientist in her won’t stop gathering information about us and her life with me. I hope that one day she’ll not only know she’s my wife but also remember what it was like. And, of course, I pray she’ll still want to be with me when she does.

Today’s been a good day, tough. One step further into the right direction. Learning she’s a daughter and a sister gave her two more benchmarks to redraw the map of her life. There are still many blank areas on it, but I’m determined to continue helping her fill these blind spots. If necessary, one after the other, as long as it takes until she knows how to navigate through her past, present, and future. I want to be her beacon, her anchor, the person who leads her when she veers off course and who steadies her whenever she falters.

I am your rock, Scully! Lean on me!

to be continued

#xf fanfic #Margaret Scully #Bill is and will remain an idiot #msr

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lonestorm · 8 years ago

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The Inugami - Chapter 10

Summary: When Kagome Higurashi moved to the bad side of Chicago to help with her grandfather’s restaurant, she expected chaos. Being thrown into a fake gang, caught in the middle of a drug war and grudge that stretches centuries back in time, befriending a grumpy half demon along with a ragtag bunch of three other misfits… wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. High school AU. Inukag.

Rating: T (some language)

Pairings: Inukag, Mirsan

Chapters: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10

Shorts: 1. Sesshomaru | 2. Miroku

**Also on ff.net here.

“We need to end this,” Sango said firmly at the booth they had stuffed into the day after the Lake Michigan Epic Bike Dunk. It was another night at the restaurant after it was closed, where the Inugami sat around with their dinner and traded homework answers. Therefore, when Kagome heard Sango say end ‘this’, she wasn’t sure if it referred to a greater evil in the world than her functions worksheet.

“Agreed,” Shippo groaned, dropping his pencil atop his lab report. “You can only smell a dead shark so many times with a fox nose before your brain starts to liquify.”

“I meant,” she sighed, “this fight. With Naraku.”

Miroku’s mouth twitched. “I do believe the point of starting the fight was to end it, dear Sango.”

“We need to end it!” said Inuyasha, snorting. He leaned back, balancing a spoon on his nose. “What a fucking fantastic idea. Why haven’t I thought of that?”

“You two,” Sango pointed at them with narrowed, danger eyes, “need to stuff it before I stuff you. My point is, it’s getting ultra dangerous now. We’d just been reducing Shikon levels and doing some recon for the last months, but look, I have a life!” Sango slumped down into the end spot, absently molding to Miroku’s side when his arm went around her. “We’re going to college after this summer. I need a better job. We all do. The thing we don’t need is Naraku around, almost killing us in stupid motorcycle chases. We need to speed up this operation, have a plan.”

Kagome put down her pencil and stirred her soup with a frown. She’d been having similar thoughts, but the fight against Naraku had been slow going with no solution in sight. The Inugami had spooked Naraku once, making him much harder to find. Now, he was finding them, and rather violently, at that.

Her eyes, as usual, swept to Inuyasha, who was glaring at his bowl like it had given him a personal offense. He stirred it, then rolled his shoulders. Then, he winced, swallowed, and blinked several times. Now that she looked closer… he looked very pale. Almost a greenish tinge.

Kagome leaned to whisper to him, “Inuyasha? Are you okay? You look pale.”

It was only for an instant, but he froze. “Fine,” he gritted out. “You’re imaginin’ things.” With that, he turned back to the conversation. “I’d love to hear how to find Naraku’s lab and distribution,” Inuyasha said snidely. “I know! Let’s just go ask them nicely!”

There were snickers around the table followed by Sango’s huff, but it was Shippo who spoke, “Ask them… Hey, I have an idea.”

Kagome perked up; as a fox demon, she knew he was more cunning than the average freshman. “What’s that, Shippo?”

The others listened attentively as Shippo’s bright eyes glowed. “Look, Inuyasha was right. The one thing we haven’t tried is asking nice…” His nose twitched. And again. And he frowned. “Inuyasha? Are you… okay?”

Her eyes darted to Inuyasha, who was clenching his jaw. “‘Course I am. Keep talking.”

“No, you’re not,” Shippo said, wrinkling up his nose. “You smell like a dying dog.”

“Well, you smell like a rat’s a-”

He was interrupted by Kagome’s hum of discontent. “Inuyasha I told you, you don’t look so good.” Her eyes narrowed. “You did sleep more last night, right?”

“Yeah, and I’m fine,” Inuyasha grumbled, shoving away her concern. “Shippo? Plan?”

“Did you throw up today? It smells like you did,” Shippo said instead.

“Food disagreed with me. Drop it.”

Miroku leaned forward. “That’s not normal for a half demon, Inuyasha. And you aren’t eating now, either.”

“Not hungry,” Inuyasha protested, but the growls of his stomach betrayed him.

“Are you nauseous?” Kagome asked with a frown. She lifted her hand to his forehead, and then quickly drew it back with horror. “You’re burning up! And the cold sweat--we need to get you a cold cloth and some medicine!”

Sango stood, followed by Shippo and Miroku out of the booth. “I’ll get the cloth!” Sango said hurriedly.

“I’ll get your mom, Kagome!” offered Shippo, eyes wide.

“Inuyasha, you should lay down,” Miroku said severely.

But Inuyasha rose quickly to his feet. “For fuck’s sake, guys, calm down! I’m fine-”

And then he stumbled trying to get out of the booth, crumpling into Miroku’s startled grasp. But he just pushed himself clumsily away and up again. “‘M fine. Just a cold or somethin’.”

“This is not a cold!” Kagome scolded, coming up behind him with a hand on his arm. “You should have told us you were sick! Miroku is right; you need to lay down and rest-”

“Kagome, I’m-!”

“Shut up!”

“I…” He seemed to struggle for words, and he was closing and opening his eyes rapidly. His chest moved up and down in a disjointed rhythm, and then he was falling again. Kagome squeaked, grabbing him along with Miroku quickly to lower him to the ground. This time, Inuyasha was out cold, and-

“Oh my gosh,” choked Kagome, words spilling out. Inuyasha was jerking uncontrollably, sending fear spiking through her heart. “He’s seizing. Miroku…”

“We have to turn him on his side,” Miroku said firmly. His dark eyes met hers, where she was frozen and gaping. “KAGOME!” Miroku shouted gritting his teeth. “Snap out of it and help me!”

“R-right,” she breathed, pushing Inuyasha onto his side and aligning his arms and legs into the correct position. He’d stopped seizing, and Miroku put two fingers on Inuyasha’s pulse.

“It’s uneven,” he muttered. “Hospital. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with him.”

“Me neither,” Kagome said, trying not to let panic take over again. “I-I’ll get his legs…”

There was a groan, and Inuyasha’s eyes fluttered. Kagome scrambled up to his head, where she frantically brushed some stray hair from his face. “Inuyasha? Can you hear me?”

“‘C-course I can,” he murmured, words slurred. “Wh-what j-just…?”

“You had a seizure. We’re taking you to the hospital and you aren’t going to protest,” Miroku told him calmly. “How do you feel now?”

Inuyasha finally gave in and moaned, “Like I... was… run over by... train.”

Once they re-entered the scene, the others gasped and scurried over, including her concern-ridden mother. Inuyasha did protest at being carried on Miroku’s back, but couldn't seem to walk for himself right after the seizure. In the back of Miroku’s SUV, they laid him so that his fevered head rested on Kagome’s lap.

The hospital got him a bed right away, the doctors exclaiming at his insanely high fever and wondering how he was still alive. Kagome and the others watched as Inuyasha was hooked up to IVs, blood samples taken, ice packs put on his head and around his face. Kagome put her shaking hands on the glass outside the room, cursing herself for not noticing earlier, praying to God that this was no more than a terrible virus.

She felt warmth, and realized that Shippo had wrapped his arms around her from behind. He was hugging her. In comfort for her or himself, Kagome didn’t know, and didn’t care. Kagome hadn’t realized how tall he’d gotten… he must be an inch over her height now. She could nestle her face into his mint-scented, flannel shirt. She wondered if fox demons grew faster than dog types.

“He’ll be okay,” said Shippo firmly. “He’s the toughest guy in the world.”

The faith Shippo had in him managed to bring a small smile to her face as she nodded. But the smile didn’t last; Sango was pacing loudly, Miroku leaning against the wall and tapping his foot while staring unblinkingly ahead. Her mother had gone to get them some water from the vending machine, but Kagome figured she’d really just needed something to do with herself.

“Sesshomaru,” blurted Kagome suddenly, shaking her head. “Oh, I should’ve called him first thing-!”

“Already did,” Miroku said tonelessly. “He’s on his way.”

“He’s here,” a cool voice surfaced, accompanied by resounding footsteps. Sesshomaru had strode toward them, silver hair tied back and commander’s uniform slightly wrinkled. Kagome had thought his face always was serious, but before was nothing compared to the stony expression he wore now. “What is his condition?”

“We don’t know,” Kagome said, biting her lip. “They won’t let us in yet.”

As if on cue, a doctor finally emerged from the room and closed the door behind him quietly. Wiping a sheen of sweat from his forehead and chestnut hair, he regarded the group tiredly. “Family?”

“Me,” Sesshomaru said shortly.

“Right, you can come in-”

“His friends brought him here,” said the demon, eyes flashing. “Them and myself are all he has. I request that they be allowed to enter so that I don’t have to annoyingly repeat all of the information to them.”

The doctor’s eyes nervously trailed from his badge to the demon markings on his face. Choosing life over job, he swallowed. “O-of course. You can all come in.”

Kagome’s mother returned as they entered the room, busying herself with making sure everyone had something to drink. Inuyasha appeared to be unconscious, but his eyes fluttered and he was still grimacing. Color had not yet returned to his cheeks.

Examining his clipboard, the doctor cleared his throat. “We’ve seen these symptoms before, and a blood sample confirmed it. Mr. Tashio here is showing signs of heavy Shikon Jewel withdrawal.”

The room erupted.

“That’s bullshit!” Shippo said first.

“How the hell?!” said Sango, aghast.

Miroku was shaking his head quickly. “There has got to be a mistake.”

“Impossible,” Sesshomaru agreed shortly, eyes narrowing dangerously.

It was Kagome that spoke up to the distressed doctor. “Sir, that can’t be true. Inuyasha here--he’s dedicated his life to taking down the Spiders and their Shikon. He hates it; Naraku killed his parents! I’ve watched him destroy any bit of Shikon he can find. There’s no way on earth he’d ever take some!”

“Perhaps he didn’t,” sighed the doctor. “Many patients with this problem had the drug forced upon them. It is easy to slip in when one is distracted. A drink, food, even a whiff of what would seem to be perfume-”

“Inuyasha is not that kind of fool,” Sesshomaru snapped. “He knows better than to accept food or drink from anyone but a trusted source.”

“I’m sure that’s true, Mr. Tashio,” the doctor tried to mediate. “But sometimes victims just don’t realize it. The batch he seems to have ingested or breathed in somehow is an extended release, which would give moderate boosts of energy for a long period of time before a very severe and quick crash. Harder to notice a change. It reflects the ingredients that the makers seem to give to demons, but luckily, he has not been given a full dose. He must’ve stopped part way through eating, drinking, or inhaling whatever Shikon he was slipped. If he’s a fighter, he should make it through… but it will be painful.”

Words caught in Kagome’s throat, and it was her mother who voiced for her, “Painful? How? And how can we prevent that?”

“Well,” the doctor viewed Inuyasha’s fitful form, pity flooding his gaze, “the demon energies in the drug involve forces that science alone can’t explain. In this case, they’re an evil power that’s used to punish the user for not taking more of the drug. The demon energies will attack his insides until they eventually fade away. From what I’ve been told, it’s like knives stabbing you from within your own body.” The man clicked the clip on his board--a nervous tick. “He’s in for a rough night; the best we can do is give him a high dose of morphine. The Shikon rehabilitation program that weans people off of the drug is currently out of the drug and have no idea how to make more.”

Kagome’s eyes flicked to Sesshomaru, who was staring hard at his brother. She knew he probably had some Shikon in the evidence locker, but- “Use the morphine,” Sesshomaru said shortly. “He will make it.”

Nodding, the doctor hurried from the room to get the medicine. After one, long and unreadable look at his brother, Sesshomaru swept out as well. Kagome’s mother left right after, muttering about getting them food and glancing worriedly at Inuyasha.

As if approaching a minefield, the Inugami crept toward Inuyasha’s bed. Kagome sat closest, right up by his head. Despite the ice, his head was still sticky with sweat. She swept away his silver hair so that it tucked behind his ear. While she had been about to ask if they should just sedate him until the energies had faded from his system, she now saw, as he kept grimacing and taking in sharp breaths, that he was feeling the pain even in his sleep. The pain medication, something to dull his pain receptors, would be of more use.

From his seat in a wooden chair at the end of the bed, Miroku watched the doctor’s every move as the morphine was hooked up to the IV, and Sango continued to pace. Shippo took his place beside Kagome.

“I should’ve noticed sooner,” blurted Kagome suddenly, gulping thickly as she traced Inuyasha’s clammy hands with her own. “I should’ve noticed the energy, the not sleeping, how he was sick-”

“Don’t be silly, Kagome,” Sango said, but her tone was gentle. Her pacing slowed. “We all could’ve noticed, but he was hiding it well. He didn’t want us to think anything was wrong. He wouldn’t want you blaming yourself, either. Inuyasha will be just fine.”

“What I want to know,” Miroku spoke gravely, “is who managed to get the drug in his system. He wouldn’t have eaten or drank anything from anyone else, or left food or drink unattended, like Sesshomaru said. It had to have been injected or inhaled.”

“Injected? Like a syringe?” Shippo shook his head. “As if anyone could get close enough to Inuyasha with a needle without getting punched in the face. And it’s not like he’d fallen asleep anywhere but Kagome’s house. If the Spiders knew where Kagome lived, they would have attacked her already.”

Kagome nodded. Of course, Spiders had tried to follow her home before, but Inuyasha had always sensed them and managed to lead them off… or fight them. Eventually, they just gave up on that approach.

Frowning, Sango said hesitantly, “But he’s been attached to the hip with Kagome and the rest of us for the last two weeks. Also, his sensitive nose would’ve noticed that he was inhaling something. Has there been any time where he was out of our sight?”

The group lapsed into silence, mulling over the question. Kagome closed her eyes, thinking of every interaction she’d had with him in the last week. They all went to the club, been together at the beginning and end…

It is easy to slip in when one is distracted. A drink, food, even a whiff of what would seem to be perfume...

Kagome gasped, mind flashing to an image of Kikyo kissing Inuyasha in a dark hall, and how Kagome had left afterwards-

“You… you don’t think…?” Kagome paused. Surely not? Surely Kikyo wouldn’t go as far as to hurt him… “At Gehenna, when he was with-”

“Kikyo?” Sango finished, eyes narrowing. “Why would she-?

Sango was interrupted by knocking on the door. At first, she thought it must be her mother returning, but why would her mother bother to knock?

Since Sango was already standing, she strode over to answer it. There, framed in sickly light with a chill about her, was Kikyo. Her face was stoic, white hands clasped delicately around a small purse in front of her. As always, she wore black and purple, dark hair streaming down her back.

Raising her eyebrows challengingly, Sango tilted up her chin. “Kikyo. What do we owe the pleasure?”

Yeah. Sango apparently had no problem openly disliking Kikyo.

“I heard about Inuyasha,” Kikyo said levelly, steady eyes sweeping over to his restless form. “I came to see if he was alright.”

“He’s not,” Shippo said, crossing his arms. “No thanks to you and your Spidery friends.”

The comment didn’t seem to faze her. “Is he in pain?”

“Yes.” Miroku stood, crossing the room to stand beside Sango in a sort of wall between Kikyo and the bed. “Do you have any idea who slipped him the Shikon?”

She didn’t answer the question. All she did was close the door behind her hold out her purse slightly. “I brought some for him, to wean him off; it’s a less painful and safer way.”

To the astonishment of all occupants, Miroku’s face flashed with rage, and he roughly pushed her hands away. “We don’t need more of your damn drugs! They’re what got my friend into this state in the first place, and you’re crazy if you think I’ll trust whatever Naraku mixed up for him.”

“Miroku…” Kagome said, unable to think of something that would calm the flaming look in his eyes.

“Inuyasha is strong, but without this, he very well may not make it through the night,” Kikyo went on, jaw tightening. “You don’t have much of a choice. I will supply you with Shikon; in exchange, you will hand over the girl to Naraku.”

There was a pregnant pause in which the Inugami forgot to breathe, and then Shippo sputtered, “Wait… you mean Kagome?!”

Kikyo nodded.

At this, Sango let out a slightly crazed laugh. “Haha, well that’s a no. Bye!”

“Naraku will not harm her,” said Kikyo, making no move to leave. “And Inuyasha’s survival can be insured. If she truly cares for him, she’ll come with me.”

Clenching her shaking hands, Kagome rose to her feet. “Okay. I’ll go.”

Shippo caught her wrist. “You’re not going anywhere! Inuyasha would never let you.”

“Inuyasha can’t stop me,” Kagome argued back, pulling her hand away.

“We can,” Shippo shot back. His bright, green gaze settled on Kikyo with a heated scowl. “It was you, wasn’t it? You drugged Inuyasha!”

Kikyo’s eyes slitted. “So what if I did? Inuyasha will be just fine if Kagome comes with me.”

“Like hell,” said a deep, scratchy voice, and Kagome spun to see Inuyasha trying to push himself into a sitting position.

“Lay back down!” she ordered, but couldn’t hide the relief in her voice that he was awake. “You need to rest.”

He ignored her in that endearing, stupid, stubborn way. Wincing and drawing in a hiss of breath, he managed to glare Kikyo in the eye. “You… you did this? How… how could you?”

“The plan intended for you to be fine,” Kikyo explained quickly, taking an unsure step back. “Naraku just wanted Kagome to come in exchange for the Shikon! You know I want Naraku defeated as much as any of you-”

“And you’d go through with a plan that would involve the most evil asshole of all time getting a hold of Kagome?” Inuyasha snarled heatedly. “As if you thought I’d be fine after that and Naraku would let me live and-”

He doubled over, coughing and clutching at his stomach. A cry was pulled from his throat, and Kagome rushed to his side.

“Please lie back down,” she whispered, tears threatening her eyes. “The medicine will work better soon.”

“You can’t go, you hear me?” Inuyasha gasped, clawing at his sheets to sit back up. “Y-you can’t play into his hands. I-I’ll be fine. I’ve survived a shit ton worse. I won’t take more of it. I won’t. I don’t care what happens. I won’t.”

“B-but you could die if we don’t wean you off-!” protested Kagome, and he just snorted.

“What do you think I am, some pansy who can’t take a little-AH! Ugh...pain?”

“Inuyasha…”

But he was regarding Kikyo once more. “You… you distracted me. Had me i-inhale. You… used me. Tricked me. T-to think I ever thought…” His whole body shuddered as another wave of pain seemed to rush through him. “I-I thought you were b-better than this… I was w-wrong. You k-keep that shit away from me. Tell N-Naraku that I don’t w-want his damn dope and he’ll get Kagome over my dead body.”

Kikyo had the nerve to look sad. “But Inuyasha, I thought we-”

“Well, you thought wrong!” he shouted suddenly, shaking. “And so did I! Whatever the hell we were, it’s over! You never cared about me! I should have known that! If you did, you’d keep Kagome out of danger! But you were willing to bring her to fucking Naraku. Hell, you nearly killed me to do it!”

His claws had ripped into the mattress as he snarled, “Y-you get out of here. Get that Shikon in the trash where it belongs and away from my friends!”

Kikyo’s nostrils flared, face hardening like ice. “So be it. If you change your mind and start caring for Inuyasha more than saving your own skin, Kagome, let me know. I’ll be at the school.”

Swallowing, Kagome hung her head, but Sango had ripped open the door. “You don’t talk to her like that. Get. Out.”

And she stalked from the room. Sango slammed the door behind her and spun, fuming. “The nerve of that girl! Gah, saying you don’t care about him?! She’s the one that drugged him in the first place! Nasty, conniving, self-righteous-”

“Sango, c’mon, let’s just calm down and try to figure this out,” Kagome sighed.

“-lying, sadistic, jealous, pretentious, filthy, scum-sucking-” Sango finally breathed.

“Hold on,” Shippo said, tapping at his phone. “Don’t stop. I’ll pull up a thesaurus for you.”

“-twisted, spineless, snotty, stuck-up bitch!” finished Sango, kicking the bed post. Miroku took her hand and pulled his chair over for her, not even bothering to belay her anger.

“We should probably refrain from shaking Inuyasha’s bed, dear Sango,” was all Miroku said, squeezing her shoulders soothingly.

“S’fine,” muttered Inuyasha. His eyes were hazy. “Stay, Kagome.”

“I’m right here,” she told him, returning to her seat. “How are you feeling now?”

“Mmm,” he hummed, letting his head loll back with a grin. “Sssswell…”

Shippo’s eyes grew round. “Swell?” he echoed fearfully. “What’s wrong with him now?”

With a frown, Miroku walked to the IV and read the labels and machine. “Holy… man, this is the highest dosage I’ve ever seen! No wonder he looks totally baked.”

“Well, it’s better than Shikon or pain,” offered Sango.

“She… she betrayed me,” sighed Inuyasha, closing his eyes. “Knew Kagome was right. Didn’t listen. You were right, Kagome. She don’t love me.”

She tried not to show her pity. “I’m sorry, Inuyasha. You deserve better.”

“I p-promised to save her… and I will. But then… there’s nothin’...W-well…I know now… that it doesn’t matter…” His words kept slurring and trailing off. “I’ve got yoooou guys. You’re all… all the best. I love you guys.”

Miroku’s eyes twinkled with mirth. “We love you too, Inuyasha.”

“You don’t caaaaare that I’m a half breed,” he went on, thoughts spilling more recklessly than she’d ever heard. “Not like my village did… when they tried ta… ta kill me when Naraku killed Ma and Dad...still have nightmares…”

At this, they all could do no more than stare at him, horrified and unknowing what to say. But he just kept blabbing on. “So many years I said… I wanted ta… kill Naraku ‘cause he killed them, get justice… I guess I needed to punish him…” Inuyasha let out a low hiss, the gold in his eyes flashing. “Make him feel all those things he made me go through… want him to be alone and have people burn him and stone him and treat him like he was a waste of space so that he never finds a home anywhere!”

Kagome backed away slightly, shrinking in her chair. The pure and absolute venom in his voice lashed out so hard that it cut through the haze of the drugs he was under. Hesitantly, she curled her fingers around his hand, and he instantly gripped her back. Inuyasha’s eyes met hers. “But now… I don’ even care ‘bout that… anymore… I wanna defeat him… to protect all of you.”

There was a purring noise from his chest, and he lazily brought her hand up to brush against his cheek. “‘Specially yoooooou…”

Mortified and feeling like her face might explode, Kagome cleared her throat and removed her hand. “Oh dear, that medicine is sure having an effect on you! Maybe you should sleep, Inuyasha. You’ve had a rough day.”

“You so pretty,” he sighed instead, clumsily trying to find her hand with his own. “Never told ya… liked that dress…”

“Y-you should really sleep,” Kagome stammered, shooting a despairing and blushing look at the others, who were clearly trying not to laugh.

“I know, I knoooooow…” he slurred. “You don’t love me…”

Sputtering, Kagome said, “I-I do too! You’re my best friend! Don’t say things like that.”

“In love with me. That what I meant.”

She could hear her heart pounding in her head. “You don’t want me to be.”

“Pfft, never said tha’...” he scoffed, eyes fluttering. “C’mon...don’t be dumb…”

“You’re practically stoned and you still call me dumb,” she sniffed with a scowl.

He only managed a single laugh in his state. “So cute when you mad…”

“Totally stoned,” Shippo agreed with a snicker.

“Go to sleep,” Kagome told him firmly, pulling his covers up to his shoulders.

“Don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving.”

His eyelids fluttered. “I want you to stay here.”

“I know.”

“Cuddle with me.”

“No!”

“Whyyyyyy…”

“You are in a hospital bed!”

“Mmm, cuddle be good medicine.”

She granted him a squeeze of the hand. “Go to sleep before you say something else you’ll regret. I’ll be here.”

“Foreveeeeeeeer…?”

“Whatever you want. Just sleep!”

“Mmm ‘kay, ‘gome.”

“Good boy.”

Kagome had waited long enough.

Inuyasha was snoring lightly, and Shippo and Sango were asleep, curled up in armchairs next to one another. Her mother and Miroku had gone home two hours ago. She closed her eyes and removed her hand from Inuyasha’s under the blanket. When she opened them, he was still sound asleep, thankfully still not wincing in pain because of the morphine.

She stood, chancing a last brush of her hand over Inuyasha’s cheek before she pulled on her jacket and crept to the door. Her finger gripped the doorknob, and she held it tight so that her hand would stop shaking. When she took a last look at her friends, her heart hardened; she had to do this. For them. For him. The meds wouldn’t last forever, and then he’d be in excruciating pain. All she had to do was trade herself for him, and she was willing to do that a hundred times over.

Kagome opened and closed noiselessly. She turned, and took a step-

-in which she ran directly into Miroku.

She was unable to help her gasp, but then she clapped a hand over her own mouth. Miroku was staring down at her, indigo gaze hard and narrow. Kagome had never seen him so serious for such a long time. She almost missed the dorky, sensitive Miroku.

“Where exactly,” he said lowly, “are you going?”

Swallowing, she dropped her hands to her sides and clenched her fists. “That’s my business. What are you doing here? I thought you went home.”

“I saw your face when Kikyo said you needed to turn yourself in. I’m not stupid. I’ve been waiting out here all night.” He crossed his arms, like he was a guardian angel standing watch over a bridge to a dark place. “You’re trying to give yourself up to Naraku, aren’t you?”

“I have to do this,” Kagome hissed, trying to sidestep him. He appeared in front of her again. “I have to do this for Inuyasha! Y-you don’t understand; I can’t stand to see him like this. I love-”

“Don’t understand?” Miroku said quietly. There was a sliver of danger in his voice that she’d never heard from his mouth. “I never told you how my parents died, did I?”

A wisp of dread curled in her chest. “No.”

Kagome saw Miroku’s fingers tighten on his arms, turning his skin white. “Naraku has always wanted to collect those with spiritual power, like you, because he knew that they could grow to destroy him. I had the largest spiritual potential of anyone in my ancestral line. He found out.”

Kagome wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this.

“He came for me once, on a day when we were out of the house. In an alleyway on the way back. It looked as if my father had fought him off, but a few days later, my father started… having this inexplicable fever, seizures, pain…”

“Shikon,” Kagome whispered.

Miroku gave a slow nod. “Naraku had gotten him in the middle of the fight. He sent a Spider to tell me that if I gave myself up, my father would be spared with some more Shikon. He’s played this game before.”

“Did you do it?” she asked quietly.

A pause. “Of course I did. I loved my father.”

“Then you have to let me-!”

“I’m not finished,” Miroku cut her off. His eyes were locked on hers. His jaw clenched, throat worked. “My father was given the Shikon, and I was taken to Naraku. I was terrified, but I felt like I’d done the right thing. Naraku was about to give me a dose before my mother finally found me, pushed me out of the way… and the needle hit her instead.”

“Oh Miroku…”

He seemed deaf to her sympathetic exhale. “She d-died in only a minute, in which she told me to run away and help my father. I blasted them with all the spiritual energy I had and took off. When I got home, I found my father dead in his bed.”

The breath caught in Kagome’s chest as Miroku’s eyes intensified, widening, pleading. “Don’t you understand? Naraku shows no mercy! At this point, he won’t hesitate to kill you or Inuyasha. He’s done this before and he’ll do it again. As soon as you’re not useful to him, he’ll take you out of shackles and slaughter you where you stand.”

“I-I…”

“It’s the second dosage that my father got in trade for me that killed him. If I hadn’t gone, if I’d just trusted in my father’s strength to survive the night, they’d both be alive right now!” His hands gripped her shoulders, not in a way that hurt, but not gently either. “It may feel noble, but all this will do is get both you and Inuyasha killed. If you care about Inuyasha at all, you’ll stay and ignore what Kikyo said. Inuyasha the strongest man I’ve ever met. He will make it.”

The fear that had been crashing through her seemed to calm like the sea after a storm, and Kagome gave a shudder. “O-okay. You’re right. Okay. I...I’m so sorry.”

Finally, his shoulders relaxed, and his hands loosened. Miroku breathed out deeply, and then gathered her up in his arms. “I understand, Kagome. It’ll be okay.”

He hugged her for a minute, tightly, and then backed up with a tired smile. “Now how about you get back in there and get some rest on the couch?”

Kagome nodded quickly, blinking away tears before they could escape. “O-okay.”

He led her back into the room, where she curled up in the old, cushy loveseat in the corner. Miroku took her place at Inuyasha’s side, checking his friend’s fever and replacing the cold compress.

“Miroku?” she said feeling drowsiness settle in her eyes.

“Hmm?”

“Thank you. For saving my life.”

The old Miroku smile seemed to be back again. He stood, rummaging for a moment in the drawer next to the bed until he found a blanket that he tenderly spread over her. “Anything for such a loyal friend as you. Have a good sleep. I love you.”

“Love you too,” she told Miroku without hesitation, falling asleep with a smile.

#the inugami #inuyasha #inukag #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag fanfiction #kagome higurashi #my writing #my fanfiction

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blaperile · 6 years ago

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Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 21 (Epilogue 4 Page 4)

#Homestuck #The Homestuck Epilogues #Meat #Epilogue Four #reaction #Kanaya #Dave #Karkat #Dirk

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ciathyzareposts · 6 years ago

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Rome: Pathway of Power – The Woad Warrior

Written by TBD

Hector’s Journal #2: “You’ve heard the story before. The slave who became a general… or was it the other way around? Either way, I keep improving my station through means having nothing to do with my skills. Let’s see if I can keep this going – if I do, I could even be Emperor one day!”

When last we looked in on Hector the slave owner, he’d failed multiple times at having his slave win a gladiatorial battle. So without having any better ideas, I kept trying…

Reloading after not having played the game for a few days, I’d forgotten I’d saved the game after already owning a slave so accidentally bought a different slave.

Let’s take a look at my inventory…

Slaves are like Pringles – you can’t stop at one.

Well, I’ve now got two slaves and 25 sesterces. I still owe the moneylender 60 sesterces and need some amount more than 40 to bribe my way into the Palace. So let’s see if we can win a fight at the arena now. Maybe Billius and Barbarus can be the first ever tag-team.

On my first attempt, both Billius and Barbarus died to Ignominius’ sword.

But I kept trying. After another loss, my fight was against Lurkio instead of Ignominius. I remember Lurkio being bad at fighting before, so felt my chances were good.

Nice work, Billius!

Well, it was much easier against Lurkio. I’m glad I’ll never have to fight the unbeatable Ignominius. Let’s see who wants to challenge the new champion, Billius…

Oh, bugger.

Billius died, then I entered Barbarus, who also died. 65 sesterces still wasn’t enough to bribe the palace guard, so it was back to the drawing board.

I’d saved after Billius won the first fight, so just kept quitting the game and reloading (the game won’t let me load within the game so I have to quit without saving, then restart the game in order to do the equivalent of a LOAD command.)

Eventually Billius beat Ignominius.

The fact that the guy who risked his life gets nothing may seem inequitable, but just be glad I have the ability to LOAD an infinite number of times, Billius, or you’d be dead.

Well, I didn’t know how to withdraw Billius from the competition so a new challenger, Lecherus, killed him in the next fight. I still had 105 sesterces, and Billius had only cost me 5 so I leave as the soldiers take Billius’ body away. I’ll be sure to say something good about him for my eulogy – he did make me a profit of 75 sesterces, after all.

ECONOMIC ADVICE: If you reload and save-scum enough, slaves have a very good ROI.

Anyway, now that I’m richer, the palace guard will let me in for 80 sesterces.

Hmm. Perhaps the conspirators should have just bribed the guard to get an audience with the unguarded Emperor?

While talking to the Emperor, I now have a WARN option in my DO menu, so I use it.

After I warn him about Fellonius’ murder plot, I get a little cutscene.

And if he hadn’t confessed, I’d have been the one put to death. What a fair and balanced legal system!

I’m immediately given a commission as a Centurion. I’m sent to the rain-soaked land of Britannia, which, while currently part of the Roman Empire, has been somewhat retaken by a rebellious tribe of Celts.

So who exactly IS the Boss? Hogg? Nass? Tony Danza?

BRITTANNIA

Wait, so not only did the Emperor make a guy with no military experience a soldier, he put me in charge of an entire invading army? This Emperor is an idiot – maybe I should have let Fellonius depose him.

Oh dear. I’m now in a Real Time Strategy game. Now, it’s time to admit that RTS games are not one of my favourite genres. I like city building games like Pharaoh and Emperor, but get bored with the fighting parts. I hate controlling armies and having to carefully use the best strategies in order to succeed. And there aren’t any difficulty settings in this game so it looks like I’m stuck. Sigh.

As the only part of RTS games I like is building things, I choose to build a fort on the beach we start at.

Maybe we can conquer this land by challenging the Celts to a sandcastle building contest.

The way this section of the game works is we need to conquer this land by taking the enemy standard. Basically, it’s a ‘Capture the Flag’ game. Exactly how taking a flag determines which government controls your country isn’t made clear, but it’s no more ridiculous than watery tarts distributing swords, so I’ll let it pass.

First, let’s look at some of the features of this new interface by detailing the buttons on the left of the screen.

UNIT These buttons let us control each of our IV legions separately, or just use them all together with the ALL button. I did some things early on by getting different units to do things, but quickly got everyone killed by splitting my army so only used the ALL button for most of the game.

FORM The form command simply lets you line up your soldiers in the direction you choose. I can have my units form up in orderly rows to the north, south east or west. I found this useful when entering a choke-point, such as a bridge that I suspected Celts to be amassing behind. But I mostly didn’t use this, not knowing where the bad guys were until they were already running at us.

ORDER I can give lots of orders. While I tested out all those possible commands, I basically used a total of four of them.

WHO? This gives me details on whichever soldier I click on.

Sometimes they are various levels of tired so I let them rest. This guy is ENERGETIC so he can keep working for now.

Oh no, Centurion Benny Hill has died!

RUN This works the same way as in the cities. Run only works for me though, so if I have soldiers following me they lag behind very quickly. A useless command in this section.

MAP

The map starts in a fog of war. The red dots in the bottom right are my soldiers. I can move the red cross wherever I want and Hector will pathfind there. You can see the southern wall of one of the villages at the middle left.

STD This just lets me drop or pick up my standard (flag.) I can put it somewhere and at any point have the soldiers rally or retreat to it, but in reality I just kept it with me at all times except when I accidentally dropped it somewhere.

SYSTEM This also works the same as the city levels, which lets me quit (with or without saving) or restart the level or game.

Anyway, I start off by just having all soldiers follow me as I walk around looking for some Celts to kill.

Ooh. I think I found Pointy Stonehenge?

When I meet some British soldiers, I try the complicated battle tactics of screaming at everyone to do the bleeding obvious.

These are the kind of military tactics you get when you promote a guy who has never led anyone in his life.

Little known fact: Ancient Celts used Australian slang.

After a short fight, we lose. I lose a lot in this game. The dodgy pathfinding I’ve found so far in this game doesn’t belong solely to Hector. When I order my troops to attack, a number of them run off in random directions rather than where the obvious enemies are. Perhaps they want to take the long way around? Partly due to this, but mostly due to my general lack of skill and tactics, I die a lot. Whenever I die, I get an end screen and am told how I am to be killed.

You aren’t the first people to burn me in a wicker cage. I faced the same death in King’s Quest VI! I know how to get out of this – does anybody have any tears from a baby tear plant???

There are a few villages on the map that I can attack.

And sometimes the game’s stupid pathfinding makes me restart the entire chapter because it sucks.

For some reason, my partly built fort stopped me from leaving through the extremely large gap to the west and I had to restart the section. I hate you, game’s pathfinding!

It does kind of look like I know what I’m doing sometimes, but trust me, I don’t. All these men died within a few minutes.

And sometimes weird things happen, and all the Celts seem to be sitting down nursing a grazed knee or something.

I’m not trying my luck so I order the army to walk past them hoping they don’t notice us.

Now, as I mentioned, I died a lot in this part. I’ll admit that after many deaths I looked up a walkthrough for this stupid strategy section – I hope you don’t mind. I was really getting frustrated and had no desire to fully learn a system I wasn’t having fun playing. By cheating in this manner, I read that if I enter the huts I can actually make some cash which will apparently be useful in the future.

Pillaging: To rob a place using violence. I get that you’re waging war here, Hector, but do you have to sound so gleeful about it?

The walkthrough also gave me lots of tactics, and the advice to take all the villages before going for the standard, as I might need the money later.

But I couldn’t be bothered with all that, so after resorting to a walkthrough, I largely ignored it, and just kept restarting, ordering my entire army to follow me, and aiming straight for the main village in the north, almost always getting myself and my army killed before reaching the village.

Eventually, after many tries, I win the battle and me and my remaining 4 soldiers take the British Standard.

That’s what you get for trying to be independent, Britain! And I suggest you do the same in future if any of your rebellious colonies tries to rebel!

I return to Rome as a victorious General.

And as such a victor, the Emperor gives me another promotion.

It’s good that no jobs in the Roman Empire require any skills or experience. A few months ago my only experience was in mail delivery!

The crowd gives me a round of applause, and I get ready to start my new job. I notice that Barbarus is still following me around. I’m glad he found me after I arrived back from Britain.

And after that ordeal in Britain (I mean MY ordeal, not Hector’s) I think it’s time to take a break for now. At the start of this section I thought I was travelling a similar career path as Maximus from the movie, Gladiator. Now that I’m a Senator I’m wondering if I’m following the path of a different movie character.

I AM the senate!

Session time: 2 hours 30 minutes (I swear it felt like I was playing that RTS section for much longer) Total time: 5 hours 35 minutes Inventory: 85 sesterces, Barbarus

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/rome-pathway-of-power-the-woad-warrior/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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angrybelieverconnoisseur-blog · 6 years ago

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