#i just wish things were different

[cat-downthestreet]

hey, listen! this is a rant post about neurodivergent characters in Genshin and my frustration with the fandom's reading comprehension skills. if you're in a bad place or just don't like angry rants, please don't force yourself and go read something else instead. <3

Okay, so, I watched this video recently, and let's just say, I have some thoughts.

https://youtu.be/tYK3297p4rk?si=eMaf8NF57HFlUhfd

This isn't just a Xiao problem- the entire fandom is terrible at characterization. The example that makes me the most angry is the mischaracterization of neurodivergent characters.

Take Alhaitham for example. He's often seen as rude and narcissistic by the fandom- which is especially apparent in Haikaveh content, where people portray him as straight up abusive.

You wanna know why this makes me so mad? The supposedly narcissistic and rude traits Alhaitham has are actually just exaggerated symptoms of autism.

Like, come ON, people. Don't skip dialogue. Better yet, go read through his story quest again. He straight up tells someone who sees him as narcissistic that he doesn't see others as less than himself. Also, his voicelines basically confirm this- he's extremely socially inept and he doesn't care. He has difficulty showing emotions as readily as his peers- that doesn't mean he doesn't have them, just that he expresses them differently. He comes across as rude because he doesn't get that people don't like to hear what they're doing wrong, and he probably doesn't care because that's not his problem. If people don't like how blunt he is, that's their problem. At least, that's how I think he views the world.

And like, there are SO many hints that he's autistic. He wears sound-blocking earpieces, for crying out loud. Hell, the ENTIRE REASON why he helped out during the Archon quest was because he didn't want his life to change too much. Preferring routine is an autistic trait.

And the worst part is, when I talk about this outside of neurodivergent groups, people tell me I'm wrong and that he couldn't be autistic DESPITE THOSE PEOPLE NOT BEING AUTISTIC THEMSELVES.

And I'm not saying that every autistic person relates to Alhaitham, but I certainly do. And I'm actually quite friendly because I'm anxious about being rejected. Alhaitham isn't, and I'm so jealous of him for that. He's living his best life.

Finally, back to the Haikaveh thing... Alhaitham isn't abusive. He doesn't say horrible things to Kaveh, and the one example of him doing that I could find, he immediately backtracked and subtly tried to make Kaveh feel better. Hell, Alhaitham doesn't even actually care about making sure Kaveh pays rent. He says it as a joke, but because he's autistic and his tone of voice doesn't give that away as well, he's portrayed as abusive and misunderstood as narcissistic. Y'all just don't like neurodivergent people and it shows.

Yes, neurodivergent includes Xiao. PTSD is often viewed as a form of neurodivergency, and there are many MANY characters in Genshin that have PTSD or some other form of neurodivergence. Yet people refuse to see them as such and mischaracterize them as "edgy," "narcissistic," "unapproachable," "weird," and the like. Yet none of these characters are any of those things.

You wanna know the true narcissists? The true edgelords? The actually rude people? Might I direct your attention to Scaramouche, Childe, and Dottore, whom everyone makes out to be as misunderstood pathetic little meow meows that need love.

Reminder that only two of those three are actually redeemable, and one is STILL an edgelord who is more rude than Alhaitham could ever be, while the other is a certified insane person with a weird set of morals.

(Side note: I love Scaramouche and Childe as characters. I'm just tired of people acting like they aren't worse than the autistic characters. Scaramouche is extremely rude, but he's trying to be better as Wanderer thanks to Nahida's help. He has severe PTSD, and Childe does, too. But both of them are actually messed up and have done horrible things, yet people portray them as better and more in need of love than the characters with unlikable (read: neurodivergent) traits.)

Don't even get me started on how people portray Kokomi, Sucrose, Fischl, Diluc, Zhongli, Cyno, Furina, Neuvillette, and Albedo. Especially that last one- I WILL get mad if one more person tries to tell me he's just emotionless and rude.

Also, if anyone is wondering where I've seen people misunderstanding these characters, it's mostly on Hoyolab site discussions. There's one too many posts talking about how "rude" and "annoying" these characters are.

With Alhaitham especially, I see many people writing him as abusive in Haikaveh content. I see people arguing about the ship being toxic because Alhaitham is "abusive," "unfeeling," and "cruel." Even people who like the ship portray him as such. And I've seen too many people comparing him to Dr. Ratio, who is literally just a narcissist who views others as beneath him. Don't get me wrong, I understand the comparison. It's just... very obvious that people skipped dialogue during Genshin's Archon and story quests.

And it's frustrating because I've been misunderstood in the exact same way. I've been called "rude," "annoying," and "unfeeling" in the past and it's screwed me up. Seeing people do the same thing to a character I so deeply relate to makes me lose confidence in both myself and people around me.

If that's how you view a fictional character with autistic traits, how do you treat real people with the same traits?

Thanks for reading this far. My previous post seemed to get a lot of attention, so I felt more confident about posting my full perspective on this subject. Can any of you think of other characters that have been constantly misunderstood in the fandom? I'd love to hear about it.

[rexxdjarin]

why am I 28 and have never had even a single man genuinely like me or show any interest in wanting to be with me

I literally feel like such a loser.

like no matter what way people try to spin it or try to help me feel better it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve tried for like 12 years to find someone to just fucking like me and they don’t.

I’ve been used for sex and strung along until they got sick of me by literally every man I’ve ever even attempted dating and never having any kind of care reciprocated back makes me feel so terrible.

I don’t feel bad about myself or who I am as a person but after repeatedly having the same experience with men I don’t know what else to think but to question if maybe somehow there’s something wrong with me. maybe I’m not pretty enough, im not thin enough, im too smart, im too opinionated, I look too mean, im not girly enough.

I search and search to try to find what the flaw could be because no other explanation for my situation ever makes any sense to me and im so lost and confused trying to hope for something I can’t ever find and feel like I’ll never experience

I’m so fucking tired of being told to wait it out and that my time will come. I’ve fucking been waiting. I’ve waited my entire life and nothing ever changes. I’m still isolated and sad and lonely and unloved and im so fucking tired of feeling like the only person who doesn’t have someone who cares about them by choice.

Nothing I try works and im so fucking sick of feeling like this.

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

ok, once more I realize that my own kindness and friendliness has been taken for implied consent, and as always, the troubles that are brewing now are connected to OCs.

So let me be clear and frank one more time, one last time, because I have NO INTENTION of going through what I went through in 2021.

While I am always immensely happy that my Original Characters are enjoyed and that they can serve as source of inspiration, they are NOT however a template for anyone to base their OCs on.

They are not something that you can take in their entirety, change whatever suits you, and then call it your own.

It doesn't work like that, especially because, and allow me to reiterate this once and for all, OCs are *immensely* personal.

They are an extention of the soul of the person that creates them.

So taking whatever suits your fancy and use it for the "aesthetic" or the "vibes" is immensely disrespectful and, dare I say, rather impertinent, especially when both characters happen to belong to the same fandom.

Now, I am not talking about certain tropes and subjects that are typical of certain genre, of course not.

We are all somehow reinveting something that's already there when we work with OCs and stories.

What I am talking about is taking certain specific idiosyncrasies that make a certain character unique, change them to suit your character, and then being SO IMPERTINENT to just call it your own and parading it around without even having the courtesy to quote the person that has inspired you, taking advantage of the fact that I am just a small creator with a small following.

This is a huge No No for me.

Huge.

I appreciate that other creators might have a different opinion or perspective when it comes to OCs, and while I do not share entirely in that, I sure as hell respect it.

But allow me to be crystal clear: if this happens to me, like it had in 2021, that's the *easiest* way to lose all respect I might harbour for you, and I seldomly get mad or angry.

I am always accomodating, always supportive, and I think I have proven it aplenty in the past few years.

But this is something that I cannot condone nor agree with.

And it's not just a matter of ethic, in this sense: it's a matter of also hurting me, and literally put my whole creative process into shamble.

It's a matter of having respect of others.

Now, you might say: who cares if they hurt you? they are characters that do not exist, just move on and have thicker skin!

Well, as I said above, for when it concerns myself, my OCs are an extention of my own soul, a way for me to formulate and explain feelings that sometimes I have a hard time let out; a way for me to actually face, fragmentize and analyze my own trauma through them;

and most important of all, they are OFTEN a love letter to both the world I am exploring with them AND my own husband and child, such as in the case of Jacob and Dorothea,for whom, as I said often in the past 5 years, I have poured A LOT from myself and my husband's own story.

You could say that it probably my fault for having bared my feelings so much and poured so much of myself into a character;

And you might be correct, because I have learned my lesson, and ever since Dorothea and Jacob, no other character has been infused with as much of my own being as they were.

but that doesn't mean that it stings any less when I see it unravels in front of my eyes.

I am tired.

[constant---fear]

God i wish i had just been born a man

[cadej0]

I was pretty mad at the ending on the first watch. I'm still pretty upset by it, honestly. But after watching it again... I really can't be. Or rather, I don't feel like I have the RIGHT to be angry at the ending.

I feel like cQ is very, very personal to ccQ. In the most naked and vulnerable sense. And speaking from the perspective of someone who is latino, there is this reasoning I understand on a far more personal level. This deep resentment, humiliation and agony only comprehensible through the lens of a Latin American or a Latine in the diaspora.

People from the first world don't give a shit about you. And if you live in the imperial core, they still don't give a fuck about you. You are nothing to them. A caricature. A monkey for entertainment and cheap laughs. A foreigner. An exotic thing to sexualize and gawk at.

I'll never forget that wilbur stream when he visited Las Nevadas and immediately assumed that cQ was the valet or the concierge. You know, the fucking Help. Even at his peak, as president of a nation, he was still regarded as a stereotype. The way cWilbur pursued him. The same way cSchlatt pursued him.

cQ was never respected, he was never going to be at the level of the others no matter how powerful or wealthy or opulent he became. Because to them, he was nothing but a joke. A weakling.

And when he finally got the riches and the power, who the fuck was left to witness it? Not a damn soul.

That ending was so fucking harrowing, but I fucking get it.

Any resolution with other characters; fundy, foolish, charlie, bbh, even Schlatt, it wouldn't have made a difference. He left an unforgivable wound on all of those people. He is a victim, but he is also such a huge piece of shit and he knows it.

Even at the very beginning, after the elections, he tells the audience that his alliance with Schlatt was based on a mutual understanding. They both wanted power. He said, flat out, that they could stab each other in the back at any time. There was zero trust in their politics game. This has been who he is since the very start. He may have been naïve and far too into his feelings— with Schlatt, with Wilbur, with Karl and the other one. And Charlie. But he's always been this ambitious threat who would do whatever it took to have some modicum of power. He knew he had no shot going after Technoblade, but he did it anyway and it cost him his life and his dignity. He knew torturing Dream would have its consequences. It ruined him mentally and emotionally. He stopped caring about the revive book and tortured him because he felt in control for once in his life. This was him. It all just backfired eventually because he had no respect for his own wellbeing and he hurt everyone he loved and loved him.

It's easy to imagine him running off and joining the clingies and jack, but those three have been through enough. They are not obligated to mend the wounds of a profoundly broken man. Q loved them and he wouldn't have subjected them to his agony anyway. They're kids.

He could have gone through his own redemption, but there wouldn't have been anyone left to forgive him. Not a damn soul.

[deaddcas]

this might be an unpopular opinion but I hate how bells hells don't have their own story in their campaign. the other groups have their own stories and get to explore the world and themselves, but bells hells haven't. bells hells' story also belongs to vox machina and the mighty nein. it just sucks because I truly think they deserved more.

[0shewrites0]

LITG & beautiful/artsy/thoughtful tattoos 🧎🏽‍♀️

So I know I’m being delulu but can we not (just once!!!) have a character with tattoos that look like someone’s put some thoughts into them? Also, where are my stylish, artsy, tattooed pretty boys? Will had fr so much potential but I’m sorry, the tattoos are not it.

Like, look at them and then look me in the eye and tell me you don’t think they’re really bloody hot:

Give me a Joel or an Ingram lookwise and give them nail polish, jewelry and stylish clothes. Also, they don’t even need to be muscular or gym buffs! I’m a simple girl, really, but is it too much to ask for someone like that? My soul craves them pretty boys 🥹😭😭

[yomikayomi]

I'm always worried that I come across wrong, especially with my illness.

I got a cane the other day to help with the days where I'm in massive amounts of pain, and even walking is a struggle. Either it being my stomach or my legs are acting up. In fairness I should've probably gotten one years ago because I have had a lot of days where I struggled to walk since I was young.

But now I've gotten so used to the pain that even if it's like the worst case scenario, I can still "manage" without it. I'm really paranoid about people giving me dirty looks for having, but not using a cane.

[aaravaggarwal9]

"From the stars we come

To the stars we shall return"

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

sometimes i wish i could talk about whats going on with my mom and i's relationship and how complicated and upsetting it makes me but i genuinely just don't want to burden anyone or seem vent-y but genuinely i don't think my dad understands that its grief i feel.

[fernisfat]

I’m officially spending Christmas alone (my dad is still in the icu, we’re expecting terrible weather, and my mom doesn’t want to risk coming back home in case the roads get bad and she can’t get back to the hospital) but I’m being very brave about it (I’m taking an edible, having my first shower in like a week, and getting drunk) 🙃

[mom-fren]

sometimes i wonder if you think of me the way i think of you. the way i yearn to know the ins and outs of you soul. i want to know if you miss me and if it burns you inside trying to feel if you remember me the same way and wish it was different.

[revna-writes]

does it mean anything to you? my life.

because I told you all about it, I sat you down and I explained all the facts, and I looked you in the eye and told you I would die, that half of half my friends would die, and I among them,

and you looked me back in mine with eyes filled with denial denial formed from clouds of grief grief so grand it could not even conceive the possibility of a loss so great and you spoke to me, and you said to me,

"i just don't understand, i'm trying to understand, it's like i spent my whole life believing the earth is flat, and now you are here telling me, that it is round?"

bitch- how the fuck do you think I feel? were you ever listening? or did you think I would handle this for you, too?

it was never my calling to raise a mother. in my opinion, i did a terrible fucking job.

[orienteddreamerrr]

today will be those days today yet again...I'm not doing well

[books-and-cookies]

wow the sads are hitting today, awesome 🫠

[donoteatwingsoutapussy]

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you